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[+43] u/StraitOfHummus: "The hardest part of a two-week military operation in the middle east is the first few years." - Sun Tzu
[+39] u/codespyder: 170 comments in 13 mins on a holiday Friday with no action
Dear god go spend time with your families they miss you
[+35] u/2020isgreat: Fire all your generals before the land invasion - Sun Tzu, The Art of War
[+31] u/East-Detective6697: 5 of the biggest names in finance just restricted withdrawals from their private credit funds:
– BlackRock
– Blue Owl
– Morgan Stanley
– Apollo
– Ares
Combined exposure: roughly $2 trillion.
[+30] u/StraitOfHummus: Weekend drinking game... Drink every time:
* A plane gets shot down
* The war is announced as 'won'
* A general is fired
* "Iran wants to make a deal"
* "2-3 weeks more"
[+29] u/baconography: Funny how my rent, gas, and food is all outpacing the official inflation numbers
[+24] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: They’re taking Kharg
[+21] u/klippklar: So we lost a jet, nobody wants a ceasefire, very bad, but we’re handling it, okay? Now, important, are the ballroom decorations ready? Gold drapes, beautiful, and do they match the chandeliers? They have to match. And how are my poll numbers?
[+20] u/YoungSlimeLord: is the pilot crash considered boots on the ground?
[+19] u/callsonreddit: Damn what a tough trading day
[+19] u/StraitOfHummus: As I read some of these comments, it's like some of you believe Jesus is going to come back before Monday and open the Strait of Hormuz all by himself and simultaneously deliver and refine the massive backlog of oil.
[+18] u/FabulousLanguage6216: Bers:
Black Monday coming
Circuit braker on Monday
Boots on the ground on Monday
Oil 200 on Monday
Reality:
FLAT
[+17] u/Bichael-Murry: # MR KEGSBREATH I DON'T FEEL VERY GOOD
[+17] u/RoyalFail6: Damn, really got to feel for JPow. Spend 6 years boosting the economy to minimize COVID damage and leading to runaway inflation that must be dealt with rate hikes. He then finally cuts as inflation cools for a soft landing, but then a literal regard comes in to crash the plane and throw us into a worse position than we’ve ever been in recent times 😀
[+16] u/SlyCooper007: Believe it or not, you’re all gay.
[+15] u/2020isgreat: I do believe the people who were supposed to overthrow the regime are shooting at our helicopters...
[+15] u/Icommandyou: Paying for full tank was painful
[+15] u/AgitatedJump8459: Became fucking depressed by constantly checking this thread for the past week. Fuck man
[+15] u/Moepenmoes: "The U.S. will insure losses up to $40 billion, double its original guarantee, for tankers brave enough to transit the Strait of Hormuz" *- Wall Street Journal*
Lmao they've started offering double money to tankers willing to risk their lives
[+14] u/Swiftnice: If you actually fell for the bull trap rally this week and are holding calls you deserve to lose money next week lol
[+14] u/trumpdiego: well if today was a real day, your puts would have been worth something, but it's not, so you're fucked
[+14] u/AdjustDeezNutz: Blackhawk down 2.0 electric boogaloo
[+14] u/mods_ban_me: KEEP THE OIL, ANYONE?
[+13] u/RoyalFail6: The price we pay for DUI hires
[+13] u/briballdo: I'd rather be flying aircraft over Iran than holding calls right now
[+13] u/Great-Television1775: America will spend $150 million replacing planes lost in “peacetime”, then send the pilot a $10,000 ambulance bill if he survives the crash
[+12] u/swampassOG: Serious censorship going on in here rn
[+12] u/SupramanE89: Puts on my sobriety this weekend
[+12] u/soccer29801830: These threads post news faster than anywhere else, keep it coming
[+12] u/2020isgreat: If they actually try to take Kharg instead of some other island after repeatedly signaling they were going to attack Kharg letting Iran prepare beforehand lmao
[+12] u/clintgreasewoood: https://preview.redd.it/hyr5v6ew81tg1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9df29d55a67037fdda4f3eedce0379ea852c108e
[+12] u/smart_doge: This weekend I’m a Search and Rescue op expert
[+12] u/FartPolluter: Just crunched the stats, and biden nostalgia on wsb weekend thread is barely 1% or so, really need that bany upped to a 30-40% before we are talk about generational buy opportunity
[+11] u/Daveonaltair4: Jeeez what a Theta day
[+11] u/SoloOutdoor: Three beers deep, 4 pizza crusts proofing for the outdoor oven. Bout 15 bottles of liquor in the garage. Just gonna send it.
[+11] u/eje0100: Special Forces rescued the pilot. So boots are definitely on the ground. More than we have been told.
[+11] u/callsonreddit: If you are reading this you aren’t a true gambling addict
They would be on prediction markets or some shit
[+11] u/mods_ban_me: Donnie dumbfuck is on a roll today
[+10] u/GuwopGOAT: 🥭 the first president to have his whole cabinet file for unemployment benefits
[+10] u/Rescurc: Theres a mongo voter in front of me. What should I say to him
[+10] u/ConstantAd1: At least I didn't lose any money today.
[+10] u/modder9: F-15, two helicopters, a-10 down. Two KC-135 emergency squawks today.
All in the last 24 hours. So much for Stone Age huh?! LMAO
Weeks ago they hit an F35.
The two KC-135s collided into each other (causing one to crash and kill all crew) and the several incidents of friendly fire in the first day.
[+9] u/McKoijion: I don't know if they're taking Kharg Island right now or if it's just a coincidence that all the downed aircraft are near Kharg Island, but taking it is the easy part. I doubt they even stationed anyone on the island to defend it. The hard part is keeping it as they rain drones on it.
[+9] u/D1finalboss: boobs
Thank you for your attention to this matter
[+9] u/AgitatedJump8459: Insane that this thread for weeks has only been about the war
[+9] u/SuitablChange: May your Good Friday be peaceful and blessed.
[+8] u/Antique_Cabinet8416: https://preview.redd.it/hy9inxby61tg1.png?width=1236&format=png&auto=webp&s=be895e3e60b66865f2870b8e61d2b5e55240a59b
everywhere i look i see the strait
[+8] u/StraitOfHummus: KEEP THE OIL, ANYONE?
Well at least we know what this war is about now...
[+8] u/Romanian_: Everyone talks about Iran's straight or homos
Like why does that matter yall
[+8] u/bluen: Welcone to the 🅱️eekend 🥳
[+8] u/imaginarytrades: 3 cheers for sweet incompetence
[+8] u/BarbellPadawan: Weekend thread is the best!
[+8] u/LasyKuuga: Look at him, that's my quant
My quantitative. My math specialist. Look at him, you notice anything different about him? Look at his face.
Look at his skin, I'll give you a hint, his name is Ghalibaf. He won a national math competition in Iran! HE DOESN'T EVEN SPEAK ENGLISH! Yeah I'm sure of the math.
[+7] u/anerdknownaswill: Still have some puts. Will I make my $8k back? Probably not
[+7] u/Amphiscian: My friend says he refuses to gamble at casinos because the games are rigged. So he gambles on oil futures instead
Can I nominate him to be a mod here?
[+7] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: so I guess the Treasury is getting margin called Monday?
[+7] u/Double_Anybody: Ships making it out of the strait but the conflict is heating up. How do we read this?
[+7] u/hoopaholik91: Oil needs to have a 24/7 market. What, do companies just not buy oil from each other all weekend?
[+7] u/jatomozem: So, f15 and rescue helicopter were shut down. Certain bridge was blown in Iran, which is preparation for ground movement. I am glad, that I kept my sell CFD on US500 and buy CFD on oil(processed) and oil.Wti.
[+7] u/aftherith: The Klingons on Kharg resisting heavily
[+7] u/No_Relief_8705: I sold all my positions before this weekend.
Not because I wanted, but Robinhood makes me close out all my 0DTEs for $0.01 :(
[+7] u/blemdemman: f-15s, a-10s, and blackhawks- OH MY
[+7] u/Academic_Lock_1699: Need me some thick thighed easter bunny asap
[+7] u/-IQ200: Great trading day boys. I’m 100% confident none of us lost money to the markets today. 🙌
[+7] u/Academic_Lock_1699: This thread and r/combatfootage provides better news than all the outlets
[+7] u/modder9: Iran is for sure going to release POV videos of drones hitting invading US assets.
[+7] u/AideApprehensive7441: Why did we have hundreds of bombing missions over the last 30 days without incident and today there are two helicopters and two war planes, is it perhaps because they are prepping for boots on ground?
[+7] u/Actual_Difference617: RDDT breaking news always comes after 8 hours after it being reported. Like guys hire a guy to push the notification as soon as possible. Thats why I would never believe in this company.
[+6] u/Pale-Silver-8178: Options holders with weeklies paying for 3 days of theta
[+6] u/WingedScapula420: Only way they’re taking Kharg is if they’re playing Battlefield, which they probably are because they’re staffed by tweens
[+6] u/TheMightySet69: Surely, buying a 27" QHD monitor to use instead of my phone or 15" laptop screen will transform me from a loser to a winner.
[+6] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: What if it crashes after June and that’s how he squashes the ai competition
[+6] u/Upstairs_Deal3108: Dxy up 0.2% which means we dump monday, riiiight?
[+6] u/ChewbaccaIsBear: all you guys don't own a dog house and it shows
[+6] u/Retaining-Wall: Literally nothing in my portfolio moved today 😤
[+6] u/callsonreddit: Couldn’t liquidate my shares knowing Iran rejected ceasefire
Market is rigged
[+6] u/zuziannka: As per current news who’s winning calls or puts?
[+6] u/Vort3x7689: Bols lucky the market isn’t open today
[+6] u/jarMburger: Something will happen this weekend to turn future deep red on Sunday night but the market will turn green mid Monday
[+6] u/BarbellPadawan: Kegsbreath gonna get canned because this war is out of control and markets are gonna tank
[+6] u/BoostMobileGuy: What do you do when they down your aircraft? Send more low flying aircraft 🤯
True regard belongs here
[+6] u/D1finalboss: Imagine fighting and battling with the opps that you paid and gave artillery to over the years just to use your artillery that you’ve been stockpiling over the years couldn’t be me
[+6] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: One billionaire would make so many nukes
[+6] u/Informal-Composer226: Monday is going to be such a shit show
[+6] u/Actual_Difference617: Not like the MM’s pumped the market so that a crash wouldn’t look as bad.
[+6] u/kudrat1: who else monitoring the situation?
[+5] u/cat_herder4: Talks going well. They are begging to negotiate.
[+5] u/SomePolack: Quick guys mods are asleep storm the sub
[+5] u/StraitOfHummus: This Easter, just pray Jesus starts making water into oil instead of wine, to fix this crisis because holy cow things are getting bad, especially in those Asian countries.
[+5] u/blemdemman: “Do no harm, and spread as much misinformation as possible.” - Siddhartha
[+5] u/Oldschoolhype2: I was deprived of puts printing today. Disgusted.
[+5] u/djai50: US media says 2 US helicopters involved in rescue mission were hit
The US media is now reporting a US official as saying that two US helicopters involved in search-and-rescue operations for the downed pilots were hit by Iranian fire.
[+5] u/Fit-Doubt4251: That’s genius! All sides come together, sit down in front of MSI gaming laptops (RTX GPUs mind you) and battle it out on Battlefield for Kharg Island and then just end it there.
[+5] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/guhhhh_MU made a bet that SPY would go to 666.66 within **1 week** when it was 633.672 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 1 wins and 3 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+5] u/Initial_Ad_9250: 🥭 is a finite state machine. I'm gonna use this as my quant model
[+5] u/SnooRegrets6428: Guess the us stock market is done. Which market we heading to? Iran stock exchange?
[+5] u/Moepenmoes: Imagine still posting in the old thread LMAO
[+5] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: I am neither bull nor bear...*I AM COCKROACH*🫴🪳
[+5] u/Noble_Bastard: Jobs data bullish or bearish?
[+5] u/eje0100: The fake pump yesterday to buy cheap puts. I hope you all did what the big money did. Insiders knew what was going down.
[+5] u/orsomeshitidk: The corporate establishment thinks I’m working diligently rn.
*im not*
[+5] u/jmc774: Okay I'm starting to think this war wasn't too well planned out
[+36] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: 🥭 SAYS DOWNING OF U.S. JET WON'T AFFECT NEGOTIATIONS WITH IRAN -NBC NEWS
Yeah no shit, cause they said they’re not negotiating
[+35] u/DesignerSea494: I wonder who actually shot down the F-15, since it couldn’t have possibly been Iran. Their capabilities are destroyed. He said so.
[+26] u/bearhunter429: #My Uber Eats got delivered by a hot white girl. We ARE in recession. LMAO🤌
[+22] u/voidedhip: People I talk to IRL have absolutely no idea what's going on. Just eating their slop bowls and consuming their brain rot like WW3 isn't slowly becoming a thing and that the global economy is about to go in to a crisis. Everyone's a slug.
[+20] u/Manufactured_feces: Apparently the stone age has anti aircraft
[+20] u/UnivalveX: how did Iran shoot down those jets? I thought their defenses were "DECIMATED" for the 7th time
[+20] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: if they strike **critical infrastructure** cause iran successfully defended themselves on these few occasions, **then a global recession results because of it.** iran's escalation ladder doctrine is crystal clear, if they don't get to have power/energy sites, **neither does the GCC.**
[+19] u/Garbage-Disposal-938: Breaking: In private call, President Trump and Tiger Woods share a laugh about "crashing stuff"
[+19] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: this is very scary shit.
[+18] u/Most-Crazy2353: Nobody can predict your next move if you are a complete regard - Don Tzu
[+17] u/Long_Dong_Silver6: WSJ: Lt. Gen. Jim Beam, Gen. Jack Daniel, Adm. Jose Cuervo, & Cpt. Morgan called to White House
[+17] u/Peeeeech: I’m in bumfuk nowhere and gas is $4. Clown market
[+16] u/looool_k_libtard: General public isn’t ready for Iran posting drone bombing FOV of US soldiers like Russia/Ukraine once they inevitably puts troops there. This whole thing is so fucking stupid. Gas is 100% going to be $5 nationwide soon.
[+16] u/Long_Dong_Silver6: https://preview.redd.it/xag00qnoi1tg1.png?width=1376&format=png&auto=webp&s=0859435b57f253dcccb5ac51719390abd353db5f
[+15] u/River_Sandhu: Wth does he mean by his ‘keep the oil, anyone?’ post?
[+14] u/Educational_Wall3926: The U.S. requested a 48hr ceasefire instead of pretending Iran is the one asking?
[+14] u/xeuropa: A second plane hit in Iran
[+14] u/GideonWainright: Second military aircraft downed. One crewman is missing and being hunted by the Iranians. Bombing campaign continues for two weeks. Iran controls the strait.
Peace negotiations are going well!
[+13] u/Nicht-die-Mamer: So it really looks like TACO-Days are over. His impact with all the lies is fading away. Street credibility gone.
[+13] u/CD274: So far last 24 hrs:
F-15E lost, 1 pilot rescued
2x HH-60W damaged
A-10 damaged by Iran, crashes, pilot reported ok
F-16 Squawk 7700, Iraq. Landed safely.
MQ-9 shot down, Shiraz.
+1 possible shot down MQ-9.
2x KC-135 Squawk 7700, Israel.
Idk about Monday
[+13] u/Fast-Steak-7730: JUST IN: 🇺🇸 🥭 national security team has gathered at the White House.
[+13] u/isc1200s: Oil will have lightning ⚡️ shooting out of its ass come Monday.
[+12] u/voidedhip: market is flat AF today. fucking MM's
[+12] u/Full_Boysenberry_198: Maximum weight of enlistment upped to 316
[+12] u/Urzuck: Emergency meeting at the White House right now, they are planning how to fuck your calls.
[+12] u/aka_crashoverride: https://preview.redd.it/o8gs6cdyk1tg1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=eb248a17ee228ba698d063cd00c6dea13b9ec1d8
Happy Christmas!
[+11] u/mitch-22-12: Trump might have been planning the ground invasion next weekend but could move it up to this weekend to seem “tough”
[+11] u/JohanLiebert92: boobs on the face > boots on the ground
[+11] u/ConsiderationKey1658: Full port Tuah Coin until this all blows over
[+11] u/CriticalAnybody6686: A global pandemic, pedo rings exposed, multiple wars/ conflicts, economy tweaking, mass unrest about migration on both sides, AI fears, assassination attempts, dog water politics on both sides…
What a wild time this is to be alive :)
[+11] u/Basic-Kale3169: Please, please, Mr. President, it’s too much losing. We can’t take it anymore. Mr. President, it’s too much.' And I’ll say, 'No, it isn’t! We have to keep losing! We have to lose more! We’re going to lose more!’
[+11] u/svpa3991: Technically there’s been boots on the ground if there’s pilots out there somewhere 🤔
[+10] u/ProudRaccoon4653: Wouldn't be surprised if dipshit finally commits to boots on the ground now that a plane went down in Iran. With how many times he's said Iran is crippled, it has to be angering him that they continue to fight back
[+10] u/ShittyUsernane1222: Soon I hope 🥭's admin will be just a bad nightmarish flashback or event relegated to the history books as the world heals from its wounds by exercising accountability.
Until then, calls on oil and puts on stocks.
[+10] u/Jonbuh: How can i avoid paying taxes for this administration?
[+10] u/BurgerKing_Fuccs: In a time of global conflict, where would you put your money?
US STOCKS OBVIOUSLY
Cmon yall
[+10] u/Most-Crazy2353: So taco asked for a ceasefire and Iran said no. So much winning
[+10] u/arkeus1: Boots on the ground ❌
Rescue mission ✅
[+10] u/Nice-Difference8641: I feel like mango is too quiet rn. I’d expect him to be all over the place since one of the pilots is still missing
[+10] u/PhysInstrumentalist: In all honesty, 🥭 prob thought Iran was going to be willing to negotiate when he started this thing;
thought he could threaten boots w/o it actually being a reality.
[+9] u/ZealousidealSector19: I really want the flair "didn't ask for flair"
[+9] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: national security cabinet has gathered at the white house. I’m thinking vast escalation.
[+9] u/enc-nyc: but, but, but ... he told Iran doesn't have anything military left, no ships, no AA, nothing.... ?
[+8] u/HuckleberryFit4084: I don’t think this is a Military operation anymore
[+8] u/absolutxtr: 🥭 says (nonexistent) talks unaffected by shooting down of F15. Holy shit he told the truth for once! The talks continue to not exist. Bullish. ... For oil.
[+8] u/Crazy_Donkies: Guys none of trades went through. Fuck Charles Schwab.
[+8] u/AlarmedPelican: They're rebranding it to Bad Friday
[+8] u/OptimizingOptimizer: They haven't said what happened to the second F-15E pilot
[+8] u/Prestigious_Ad3896: part of me thinks mango is trying to collect the infinity stones for president. Like he wants monuments, towers, a war is nice, a treaty, a doctrine, anything historical is what hes after. He wants to be george washington
[+8] u/weewoowewoooo: Anyone else notice on Reddit that posts are starting to be cloned almost every other day and even down to the comments upvoted the most in those posts are eerily similar down to the order of them? Feels like Déjà vu. This place has gotta be like 50%+ bots lmfao
[+7] u/ShittyUsernane1222: The unconditional surrender of the US or collapse of its empire will not be immediately televised, reported or in other way mentioned in media once its happens.
It is going to be felt in the non-stock / non-equity markets and on the ground, long before the official news of surrender arrive.
Therefore for anyone who bets on a GigaTACO scenario of US unconditional surrender, maintain patience and hedge your positions.
[+7] u/botperception: Next leg down coming soon
[+7] u/Pretty_Dragonfly_716: All these bearish comments means Monday will be green as fuck
[+7] u/nyse25: you guys remember r/place
[+7] u/RuthlessWolf: When COVID happened people expressed a similar sentiment. "Just wait, the full effects of supply chain disruption will take awhile to materialize. It's going to plunge markets into chaos." Yet months went by and nothing. Everything got more expensive but that's about it, and the world moved on. Meanwhile the stock market did a massive v-bounce and continued on its merry way to new ATHs.
Moral of the story: you're underestimating this kangaroo market and how scammy it is. As soon as the war ends and Strait is reopened, the market will v-bounce sharply. Energy prices might raise costs for consumers for awhile but like with COVID, we will just deal with it and move on with our lives. Months will pass and the market will just grind higher and the energy crisis that everyone keeps saying we haven't seen the full effects of yet will never happen.
[+7] u/hadizadam: I wanna switch places with anyone who is eating a cheeseburger rn
[+7] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: The accounts less then 30 days oil telling you to buy puts is super suspect
[+7] u/Salty-Bid1597: Has he mocked the Easter Bunny yet?
[+7] u/Poptart_Salad: I like how the military spent ungodly amounts of billions of dollars researching and developing new airframes and yet, here we are, sending the fucking F15 and A-10 into combat. So much for "air supremacy". Just a whole month of lying. Oh, and more ships in the strait got hit. If only the market was open.
[+7] u/Ill-Expression1737: iranians are experts in shooting down war planes with slingshots apparently
[+7] u/ExplosiveDlarrhea69: The new tiramisu flavored thin Oreos are insanely good
[+6] u/moosewithamuffin: Boots on the ground in Jerusalem c.33 AD
[+6] u/hadizadam: I'm jealous of everyone who is 128 pounds
[+6] u/ConsiderationKey1658: boots in yo ass any minute
[+6] u/Fast-Steak-7730: Too many bad news just to be erased on Sunday. My puts are fucked
[+6] u/dontslambro: So are we thinking boots this weekend?
[+6] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: Ceasefire odds on polymarket are at all time lows
[+6] u/thebatmansymbol: Just sitting on 10k in puts waiting to see if something dumb happens over the weekend. I like my odds.
[+6] u/Madsen13140: At this point only aliens invasion could make me feel something
[+6] u/Admirable_Tie3700: Not sure the easter bunny will survive middle easter war
[+6] u/vanceraa: After tonight i officially have a better return YTD in actual casinos than the market
[+6] u/ExplosiveDlarrhea69: It’s very funny when you walk up a flight of stairs and fart every other step
[+6] u/Fast-Steak-7730: A 4th plane has been hit!
[+6] u/xeuropa: Did they just hit a third plane? wtf is going on
[+6] u/looool_k_libtard: How the fuck did I lose everything today with markets closed
[+5] u/softboiledjadepotato: The hell was the market doing rallying from overnight lows yesterday, ahead of jobs numbers today, let alone everything else? (+11% oil, 3 day weekend etc..)
Now the numbers come out and its just another brick on top the coffin for rate cut.. Anyways, Calls
[+5] u/winfortheboys: Kharg island about to be bloodbath
[+5] u/Internal_Field5970: Puts on Meta
Facebook dies with the boomers and everyone knows instagram is brain rot and no one likes or trusts Zuck
[+5] u/Beagle001: But what about the gifts they gave him!
[+5] u/Get_dat_money: Month two of weekend bears saying " War in Iran will cause complete collapse of markets sell now!"
(SPY down 4.6%ytd)
[+5] u/Mcnuttey91: fuk u MMs for thursday, got more puts for monday and already paid for them off baseball bets 🐻 🌈
[+5] u/Paul_Robert_: As time goes on, my dreams of getting rich have decreased in ambition.
went from "I want to make enough to buy a house" to "be able to pay rent" 💀
[+5] u/ILikeCorgiButt: Which company is Iran going to target next? AMZN ORCL :checked already
[+5] u/cannythecat: I wanna see how the algos would react to 🥭 tweeting both Russia and Iran are agreeing to end their wars and transition to democracy. Him ending tariffs. China promising that they will never invade taiwan. Just as much bullish stuff as possible no matter how unrealistic. He can delete the tweet after and pretend nothing happened.
[+5] u/AntiqueProfessor5134: Can we deploy Elon's Optimus bots to Iran instead of the military? I thought they were about ready to launch, is it harder to fire a rifle then load a dishwasher?
[+5] u/brute-forced: !banbet
It doesn’t work for me because I owned it… It knows better than to respond to me at this point
[+5] u/Fast-Steak-7730: Biggest week for bulls this week
Biggest week for bears next week
[+28] u/Subspace13: All of this because Obama made fun of Trump during the 2011 White House Correspondents' Dinner lmao
[+19] u/Willing_Spring2736: Like bro I thing the IRGC is scum and the regime needs to be vaporized but that doesn't mean I should be all aboard the war train because our current government led by the biggest group of grifter, retards and scumbags decided to unilaterally attack.
[+19] u/CursedClownz: BREAKING NEWS :
MELANIA HAS BEEN GIVEN THE TASK TO "ESCORT" ALL SHIPS FROM HORMUZ
[+15] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: Wanna bet that Hegseth will be the scapegoat after this fiasco ends. He will be force to resign and step down.
[+14] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: Four aircraft down today, DHS cultmaxxing in their socials. And it’s only Friday
We’re in shambles
[+13] u/JeronimoPearson: Jobs report is amazing until next month when they revise it to -20,000
[+13] u/bigchodeenergyy: Pretty flat day for the market. Literally nothing moved. Fucking rigged
[+13] u/Detonate-Ralph: > 🇮🇷🇺🇸🇮🇱⚡️The black day for US aviation in the Middle East continues. A KC-135 Stratotanker refueling aircraft, flying over Tel Aviv, has issued a distress signal.
Is destroying yet another plane bullish?
[+13] u/SeaweedLeft9746: Less carpet bombing, more carpet munching!
[+12] u/-medicalthrowaway-: Most of you have never fat-fingered an order and bought 130k in 0dte calls and lost 17k in 30 seconds and it shows
[+11] u/TechnologyEven6926: I really don’t understand how Roman concrete lasted 2000 years but modern concrete is cooked after 50
Just doesn’t add up
[+11] u/NewDawn101: Homeboy Jesus coming back this weekend
[+11] u/OptionGamble: Well at least I didn’t lose money for once on a Friday
[+11] u/peterpeer9: AH, FUCKING FINALLY. THE WEEKEND!!! TIME TO LET LOOSE AND HAVE FUN
Time to spend the next 3 hours staring at budget.xlsx to see what it looks like after my next paycheck hits. Gonna be a great night
[+11] u/TheWokenessInjector: I have a feeling there's probably not a lot of demand to watch Top Gun at the moment in America.
[+11] u/RagingBearBull: i have spent 7 minutes on twitter.
i am an expert on military air ops, as a reuslts our leaders are regarded for not useinf 100% stealth aircraft.
No one sees them, they are Invisable.
i should be a 6 six commander, i am super smart.
[+10] u/No-Improvement3164: This weekend my crackers of choice are Chicken-in-a-Biskit
[+10] u/WonUpH: So my belly hurts and I ate 6 kinder buenos earlier today.
[+10] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: How can I buy SPY without TSLA CVNA or SpaceX? Want the 497 out of the 500 other companies but not those steaming piles of dogshit.
[+10] u/Dry-Operation6112: Gonna be funny watching oil hit $125 and watch the market stay flat all next week
[+10] u/Detonate-Ralph: TACO tweet will need to be fucking legendary to save the market on monday
[+10] u/cashflow_: CRITICAL CASHFLOW UPDATE
I took a nap. Ordered Thai chicken soup. Took out remy. Gonna go to casino in a bit
THIS HAS BEEN A CASHFLOW (AND REMY) UPDATE
[+10] u/Appropriate-Good-358: If you are quitting smoking, a regular dose of DXM from cough syrup is the cure for nicotine withdrawal and doesn’t cause addiction from short term use. Just buy the bottles with DXM as the only ingredient
[+10] u/IlinistRainbow6: you guys talk about full porting losing trades as a joke, when i do it it’s real and my portfolio is destroyed
[+9] u/Secret-Ruin-9075: Would it be too far fetched to think slow moving planes (c130, helis, A10) are being sent on purpose to get them shot down in order to justify further escalation...?
[+9] u/financiallythriving: What is everyone up to this weekend? Hopefully a fulfilling, enjoyable filled weekend!
[+9] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: What are we at 200 million in planes lost today??
[+9] u/peterpeer9: U.S. runs out of oil in 2 weeks
[+9] u/badmattwa: They roped a dope, fucking boofed us
[+9] u/TwoNine13: Today would have been so much fun. I can’t believe what they took away from us
[+8] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: Limit down Monday because of negotiations stalling. Then IRGC loads calls and Tuesday says they are negotiating. Market is now a game of pump and dump or dump and pump but now IRGC is also playing along instead of just 🥭.
[+8] u/illGermanWhipAddict: Operation Epstein Fury continues. Indices look weak. Gold and Energy looks strong in relation. SPX/GOLD broke its support it broke before the financial crisis, showing extreme risk-off sentiment we havent seen for about 2 decades. And people are bullish?
[+8] u/TreeofLibertyFood: Wild to watch friends with kids just pretending like the future is gonna be bright for them. Me? No kids here. I’m getting weird with like Frank Reynolds.
[+8] u/sloanemonroe: They must not be ready for the ground war yet. Because today would’ve been the day to go in there with a three day weekend for the markets to absorb it.
[+8] u/potato111a: R we plane specialist yet?
[+8] u/my_garagegym_name: Its crazy to think the lack of reaction to Dolly Noem is the embodiment of our acceleration to the singularity.
[+8] u/Jynx91: Down 15k on these puts. Took regardium or conviction to hold over the weekend. (Monday) My thesis will play out…….and it’s gone.
[+8] u/Certain-Activity733: *Recession Indicator*
Your friend says, “you’re celibate?”
You respond, “We’re in a HOLY WAR and you want a gf?”
[+8] u/auroraavm: I feel like my entire office is broke but all they do is try to one-up each other on what restaurants they can afford & what they can shop for. A lot are lazy & talentless & dumb as fck and in debt. It's just stupid. I don't know why I'm thinking about them on a work holiday. 😂
[+7] u/Arnab_Goswami_RTV: Rocket launcher taped on a Toyota Hilux 🛻 vs Billions of dollars worth of precision engineered Aircraft ✈️
[+7] u/justlosinmoney: People think of the success of D-day and forget about Iwo Jima and Gallipoli naval invasions aren’t that easy especially when your target knows you are coming and is getting prepared can’t imagine how it would go if they actually have the amount of drones they say they do or even anywhere near as close
[+7] u/EpiphyticOrchid8927: fuck good friday i want to do bad friday
[+7] u/justlosinmoney: So gay sex in irans gonna skyrocket the minute American boots get there
[+7] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: I've seen at least 5 comments about Christmas/Santa rally in the last 20 min
[+7] u/SmootherDoge: I shouldve held my puts through the long weekend instead of selling EOD thursday for maximum loss…
[+7] u/potato111a: Closing market on a "Good" Friday has to be a theta gang invention 😡
[+7] u/abroadbroadband: MANIPULATION!!!!
Market makers froze all stocks today... COULDN'T BUY A THING!!
# CRIME.
[+7] u/Detonate-Ralph: https://x.com/officialrnintel/status/2040191720063685103
> 🇺🇸🇮🇷⚡️- BREAKING: Tasnim News alleges that a U.S. F-16 fighter jet has been shot down over Iran.
Fucking crazy if true, still needing more sources to verify
[+7] u/sailortyx56: The Iranian quant is now asking about closing the Bab-el-Mandeb Strait
[https://x.com/mb\_ghalibaf/status/2040186566195208307](https://x.com/mb_ghalibaf/status/2040186566195208307)
[+7] u/mrmagootoyou2: Pete Hegseth going to be dropping tactical jager in redbull tonight after this mess
It is his favorite drink
[+7] u/Weak_Emu3659: I heard those guys who signed up for the WSB meetup are gone - like they just fucking disappeared.
[+7] u/Mumblage: If a pilot gets paraded on tv this is a game changer for kegs breath
[+7] u/SeaweedLeft9746: Amazon adding gas surcharge to all packages 🐻🐻🐻
[+7] u/Arnab_Goswami_RTV: You don’t think your money is being siphoned off to Isreal? Or it being used to pump corps owned by politicians and their vacations? You have a problem it being used to feed your own citizens
[+6] u/Rosebunse: I was a teenager in 2008 and it taught me several things: don't work kn the automotive industry, live as close town as possible, and don't buy a gas-guzzler.
[+6] u/Wade12323: This has to be bearish
[+6] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: Too bullish in here.. so market will inverse WSB.
[+6] u/Mumblage: Alexa, play ‘Holy War’ by Megadeath
[+6] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Apparently Citrini Research sent out an analyst to the Strait and he's reporting about it
[https://x.com/DeepDishEnjoyer/status/2040113572877832577](https://x.com/DeepDishEnjoyer/status/2040113572877832577)
[+6] u/Thebaxxxx: Black hawk and A-10 Warthog shot down 🐻
[+6] u/kim82352: > BREAKING: Photos of another fighter jet wreckage have been published by Iranian media, suggesting that another U.S. aircraft may have been shot down.
[+5] u/IlinistRainbow6: what’s 🥭’s angle with the two more weeks? let insiders buy calls for a little longer then declare victory and markets rip back to ATH?
[+5] u/Senior_Lawfulness404: JUST IN: 🇺🇸 President Trump's national security team meets at White House.
[+5] u/SuspiciousStuff3: A second tower has been hit
[+5] u/Hairy-Literature8672: Errbody obsessed with boots or no boots. Wtf is the difference? War is war.
[+5] u/twostroke1: absolutely the worst when something happens on a Friday and you gotta listen to bears gay doomer jerk each other all weekend before they crawl back into their holes on a green Monday.
[+5] u/Top-Meaning2626: [getting glazed](https://x.com/i/status/2040169352457339164)
[+5] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: Pump Monday because good job numbers = bullish because strong economy. Then when they revise those cooked numbers next month down to show contraction, we again pump because bad job numbers = rate cut odds increasing.
[+5] u/Forward-Ad5608: In the week I obsessively check the P&L and wallstreetbets. On the weekend I obsessively check wallstreetbets. Maybe its not gambling I'm addicted to, but WSB?
[+5] u/Options_tarded: Bought a used Scotty Cameron today looks 100% legit. Still wonder.. should’ve just paid the extra money for a new one. But I lost it on 0DTEs
[+5] u/OkLength37: Got a lock for ya boys, UConn to win the women’s championship, .60 on Robinhood, threw $2000 down to see if I can make a grand.
[+5] u/Whatevs56: How’s taking the oil going?
[+5] u/Unemployable1593: smells like 🌈 in here
[+5] u/HK-53: anybody else planning to gas up their cars before fuel prices rocket on monday?
[+5] u/CEO-of-SOXL: The market is barely down from ATH’s during this wild time in Iran. These drops are nothing to be honest. Bears need to have patience.
Sent from Motorola StarTAC
[+5] u/mr_stupid_face: I hate to beat off a dead horse but it’s ok to be a bear if it’s a three way.
[+5] u/Local_0DTE_Dealer: *Points at USA*
*Nelson Muntz laugh*
[+5] u/diefy7321: Imagine being gey smh
[+5] u/HistoricalComeBack: Where is Piggy ? So many updates to report on
[+5] u/Jagged_Tide: Keeping the oil: bullish or bearish for oil?
[+5] u/LURKER21D: my puts went worlthless now the market can respond to boots on the ground and sky high oil, sigh. This shit was painfully obvious yesterday.
[+5] u/justlosinmoney: I’m gonna make a bet we invade mid week next week need time for the third carrier to get there
[+5] u/K1LL4RY: Did they replace that stinky ceo?
[+21] u/rollsroysebaby: This war is dumb because they don't even know what they want.
All their goals had been achieved before the war, now we are fighting to get back what was there before the war??
[+16] u/IceCreamButt69: “Obliterated” air defenses btw
[+15] u/All_FIREdUp: Guys, I’m starting to think the U.S. military would lose terribly in a real war 🧐
[+15] u/Equivalent-Quail138: There's a lot of crazy things about this whole Iran situation, but the craziest is that they could've just, like, not done it
[+15] u/Ok-Piano8789: regime change incoming
here
[+14] u/stupidber: So fucking tired because my black girlfriend worked nights last week and keeps me up when she gets home. And I have to go to black church with her tonight until like 11pm. Already dying. But she has a body that won't quit and neither will I.
This has been a u/cashflow_ update.
[+14] u/ajibtunes: Greatest military in the world looked very weak today
[+13] u/AMCorBUST2021: Whole operation clearly planned by ChatGPT
[+13] u/WrexyWrex: The richest 0.1 percent of earners worldwide hold around 80 percent of the $3.55 trillion held offshore, more than the entire wealth of the poorest half of the world, according to a new Oxfam analysis.
[+12] u/Same_College2053: 🥭 was challenging them. He said in last presser we've got planes flying freely over their airstapce and nothing happens.
He went full HardR
[+11] u/Status-Net2947: I hate the Iranian regime but I also hate hegseth. How shall I feel?
[+11] u/Guilty-Deer-2147: Stopped drinking coffee for a month and started lucid dreaming. Crazy stuff. One night I dreamed I was on Kharg island while the US military was invading and another night I dreamed I was walking in my neighborhood getting bombed by FPV drones.
[+11] u/ajibtunes: Guys should I put “top 1% commenter on wsb” on my tinder profile to get more matches?
[+10] u/ilikemgs: “There’s a loneliness epidemic!”
Yeah there’s a lot of annoying ass mf out there lol
[+10] u/yyn1999: A historic recession is coming and you are buying calls LMAO
[+10] u/Optimal-Midnight4295: 🥭will post on Temu twitter Monday morning that losing aircrafts is actually good and the market will be up bigly. Biglier than anybody has ever seen before quite frankly
[+10] u/Rajiiin: If so far Iran not having a coup or internal division on the country it means to me that there is no scénario in which they lose this war the US eventually gonna call out due to internal pressure and israel won't bé able to do anything on their own cuz they need b2 bombers for the juicy stuff . Iran would have gained enough intel on full scale war ,plane routes and what not and the next few years they would be rebulding and using the expériences to better their defense . It's as if they won this trial. Anyway belive it or not calls
[+10] u/WillTheGreat: Mr. President, in your last press conference you said they had nothing left and we had sent them back to the stone ages. Can you clarify how they managed to down several US fighter planes with nothing left?
[+8] u/Ziqach: Boots on the ground to honor the rising of Jesus
[+8] u/Majestic-Ad-1448: This US PR campaign is going well
[+8] u/31andnotdone: I have been paroled.
[+7] u/AwkwardNovel7: damn next week looking cooked
[+7] u/starentbrett: When we gonna get civilized and outlaw horse racing. wtf is this shit
[+7] u/yyn1999: Biggest Energy crisis in History and you are buying calls LMAO
[+7] u/Locke_____Lamora: I'm legit concerned mango might nuke Iran. Its like a child that flips over the monopoly board because he landed on a hotel at boardwalk.
[+6] u/derprondo: Sometimes you just need to ask yourself if you forgot about Dre?
[+6] u/tika_dengu: Stone Age 1
Chatbot Age 0
[+6] u/Leading-Future6691: If this goes on over the weekend, we are seeing 640 for sure
[+6] u/music_is_gud: I made some money in the market today. Farmers market. Selling some MJ
[+6] u/Bobandy-Randburgers: They don't need the 12 steps, they don't even drink!
[+6] u/pizzascholar: If u don’t go 0, ur kinda gay
[+5] u/Mysterious-Device-53: Heard rumors that Chuck Norris is coming back this Sunday.
[+5] u/geddyclaus: We are the hottest country anywhere in the world! 🇺🇸
[+5] u/PopularCut4124: Is Trump on Iran’s side???
[+5] u/NeighborhoodDry1821: Really think in 4-6 months when this shit actually sells off, everyone be asking themselves why didn’t they short with all that was going on
[+5] u/aquaticsardonic: Whore moose 10% dilated
[+5] u/Prometheus013: I smell a correction Monday! Downed fighter jet and missing pilot!!
2 small puts remaining on spy after Friday put shit the bed
[+5] u/Maximum-Cash7103: X is full of AI slop and straight bullshit. But, another F16 shot down now?
[+5] u/Ifuloseulose: This Artemis moon mission got no aura. Feel like no one gives a F
[+5] u/Street-Badger: So does TSLA absolutely eat shit when SpaceX IPOs? I can see a lot of geriatric anime fans raiding the kitty to buy the new scam.
[+5] u/31andnotdone: tell me how much you missed me
[+5] u/Successful-End7689: Iran pretty much told Donnie to either fuck off completely or they’ll drag you in further.
None of that mowing the lawn 6 months later shit
[+5] u/-TrueFacts-: Sometimes ya just gotta play The Who's Baba O'Riley at full volume, neighbours be damned!
[+5] u/GoZukkYourself: The market is closed, dummy.
[+5] u/sha1dy: # EDUCATION BY TIKTOK
[+5] u/Altair82: theta because not all of us are amateurs
[+5] u/Majestic-Ad-1448: Creating generations of enemies. The whole world is watching
[+21] u/PablosCocaineHippo: Donald seriously needs to work on his pullout game. Iran's over 2600 years old, not 12. He doesnt have the experience
[+16] u/astromouse2024: ‘A top fema official defends claim he was teleported to waffle house’ what the actual hell is going on in this timeline
[+12] u/Money_Law7344: Just a year ago, Canada was claimed to be the biggest threat.
[+12] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: Iran rejects proposed ceasefire. I fear MANGO might try to push more extreme measures.
[+11] u/MissMatriarch: Going to sleep.
Sure hope WW3 hasn’t started when I wake up.
[+11] u/davidbigham: Gotta be honest hemorrhoids fking hurts.
[+11] u/v270: Musk is requiring Wall Street firms to purchase subscriptions to his A.I. chatbot if they want to advise on one of the largest initial public offerings in history. [https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/03/business/spacex-ipo-grok-elon-musk.html?unlocked\_article\_code=1.YFA.kNeJ.Grb\_hBnwTelz&smid=url-share](https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/03/business/spacex-ipo-grok-elon-musk.html?unlocked_article_code=1.YFA.kNeJ.Grb_hBnwTelz&smid=url-share)
what a cuck
[+10] u/Standard-Top-5942: New AG is a lot worse than Bondi.
[+10] u/ApathysLastKiss_: I hate hedging
Scenario A: you're wrong and the hedge fucks up your gains
Scenario B: you're right, but you're a gay bear
[+10] u/EntrepreneurOld7858: Bearhunter tries waaay too hard to be a subreddit micro celebrity lmao 🤌
Coward doesnt even post his trades
[+10] u/Significant_Speed854: This week, in hindsight, was purely market manipulation knowing troops were hitting Iran this weekend.
[+9] u/_pout_: At the pharmacy picking up birth control for my girlfriend and she's upset that this one is making her boobs grow and I'm like 😏
[+9] u/_Wendig0_: Don't worry call holders, you have all weekend for a TACO tweet lmao 👐
[+9] u/TimujinTheTrader: Man imagine if Jesus comes back on Easter in the Midle East.
Just crackin skulls on all sides and bringing peace through force.
They would have to give him the Nobel Peace Prize.
[+8] u/Snowman33001: The aliens observing us right now are not impressed by what they’re seeing.
[+8] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Im no geopolitics expert, but wouldnt it make sense for Russia and China to be supplying Iran as a proxy against the west and the dominance of the petrodollar?
[+8] u/Blackhole_sun81: China/Russia going to flood Iran with MANPADs so they can turkey shoot US planes… this is a golden opportunity for them to show the world how weak America is, and sow chaos…. This war is about to nosedive.. Cash gang as the market is going to crash…. You’ve been warned
[+8] u/Due-Dirt-8428: You’d be so let down when they turn out to be a normal kid lol
[+7] u/FullTard2000: i don’t like that I get 10 ads a day on different apps for Trans dating sites
I feel like they are insinuating something
[+6] u/Loose-Report-5951: Who’s bullish AF on USO?
[+6] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: Would be a sad time to live through to see nuclear weapons be used
[+6] u/PulIthEld: Every time i play a video game and come back to the real world I have literally no idea how crazy shit will be when i check the news.
[+6] u/According-Page8618: how tf is btc flat for past 2 months now
[+6] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: How else were they supposed to curate a specific narrative
[+6] u/ClarkFable: Spending money to make sure we end up paying even more for our gas. He’s an even more regarded investor than the average regard here.
[+5] u/Playful-Ad-7277: i gotta wait tilll Monday for this to unfold
[+5] u/daisymoth9: starving. waiting for husband to bring home culver’s
[+5] u/TrickyRaccoon7571: Any average person would see the news "US FIGHTER JET DOWNED.." "IRAN WAR ESCALATED.." and KNOW the market will be red Monday.. which EQUATES TO.. market sky rocketing!
[+5] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: F-15E, F-16, A-10 all in one day. The MIC wins again
[+5] u/applerascal: when the mass layoffs come what will we all do? We can’t all work at Wendy’s
[+5] u/A10cc: I love me some big booty latinas.
[+5] u/delicious_oppai: Guys I didn't lose any money today. Party at my dumpster 🎉
[+5] u/UnitedCup1814: I sure hope the iron sheik is ok over there with all the bombs flying around and all
[+5] u/Competitive_Ride: All this stress is giving me acne
[+5] u/noaholic: Didn’t Iran get the memo that the US won already?
[+5] u/barkwoofgrrr: Have a family with a billion dollars and they grow the second there's a draft
[+5] u/Sharp-Direction-6894: Why the soldiers no have gopro strapped to helmet and live stream to youtube?
[+5] u/Nice-Truck8806: hmmmm a cheap and plentiful food, with lots of glutamate for a filling taste as well as starches for calories and plenty of nutrients?
yeah its a fuckin potato
[+5] u/Nice-Truck8806: yep i just did it. thanks for the hype unc
[+15] u/gkdjsl: He's bombing bridges and pharmacies, they're taking out military bases and overpriced fighter planes
George W. Bush looks like fucking Napoleon right now
[+14] u/TouchTipz: We lost the moment it started
Read a fucken book
[+11] u/JustExperience4666: Dude we are getting absolutely spanked
[+11] u/TheOriginalBushToad: February jobs revisions went from -92,000 to -133,000 marking the largest monthly job loss since December 2020. Maybe my puts will be saved afterall....
[+10] u/confused_teabagger: >we have destroyed their airforce, navy, and all missles.
>... US military plane shot out of the sky
I am starting to think that something isn't kosher about this whole operation!
[+10] u/BratwurstSpectator: 2 ships instead of 150. That's progress.
[+9] u/PlentyArmy2411: Man I wish I was cash gang. The 80k of calls I bought in January have just about been vaporized
[+9] u/Pristine_Afternoon96: Bruh just announce you’re pulling out and declare victory even if it’s total BS
[+8] u/TimeOnTargetKilo: https://preview.redd.it/0jnjgpfbl2tg1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=852094005cddc517ff0ac03094ae46313cfedcf4
Yall like that mancave
[+8] u/RelentlessPutz: I know space travel deniers here wont care... but the voyager missions interest me way more than some billionaires pipe dream. They are 12 billion + miles past neptunes orbit and they record data on a fucking 8 track and contain the amount of memory in a jpeg like 69kb. They use computers the size of fridges and fucking punch cards to communicate with them. Thats space exploration bro shooting a calculator with a kodak camera into space and seeing how long it will go
[+8] u/Longjumping-One-7022: New intel Iran is recovering bombed bases within hours of being bombed lol. US is fucked. Gonna have to go boots on the ground. They cucked us. Can you imagine losing to Iran lol. Hilarious.
[+8] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Netflix has almost no good movies and this pos wants to raise rates smdh
[+8] u/Accurate-Flow8078: Super Mario Galaxy was excellent, I liked it more than the first movie. Adults and kids both enjoyed it. Lots of throwbacks to the original NES and Super Nintendo games.
[+8] u/Lurk_Maximus: everyone deserves a hidden few curly fries with their regular order
[+8] u/bin10pac: He likes pilots who weren't captured.
[+8] u/Red_Zone_Broly: 🥭 will drone strike the captured pilot to remove that leverage from iran and escalate to ground troops.
That's the level of regards we're dealing with
[+7] u/blindrubberchicken: Because everyone figured out that crypto taxes are a fucking nightmare and no one wants to deal with it anymore.
[+6] u/TreGet234: Schizomaxxing following world affairs in big 2026.
[+6] u/Postmodern_Pastiche: you cant margin call me, i QUIT!!!
[+6] u/Valkorion335786: A foolish man covers his balls when running naked through a crowd.
A smart man covers his face.
And a brave man covers nothing.
[+6] u/Overall-Fold-9720: We lost a $97 million fighter jet to a <$20k drone
Good thing we destroyed them militarily before, or we would have been in trouble
(Shortly after, we a $20 million black hawk sent for rescue was hit)
[+6] u/QuantrixQuintrix: At an elderly birthday party and someone I haven’t seen in A couple years didn’t recognize me and gave me the “oh you had a lot more hair”
Fucking roasted. Down terrible.
[+6] u/Al-phabitz89: It has been incredibly bearish here these few weeks. More so recently.
The gap up is going to be nuclear. 🚀📈🚀📈
[+6] u/Napster-mp3: Weird, a minor 7 sus 4 and dom 7 sus 4 are the same chords
[+6] u/BratwurstSpectator: The houthis blocking the red sea was a good time for container ships.
[+6] u/gkdjsl: I pay 35% of my hard earned gambling money to this mongoloid admin to turn it into bullshit interceptors fired like confetti in a war that's less popular than shit ice cream
[+6] u/4sKompany: In what way were we winning? Iran has big man by the balls
[+5] u/Lextron: 'member like a year ago when people were meme'ing around about how people are out there putting burritos on buy-now-pay-later apps? Remember, those people are still out there, coming to terms with their hundred dollar burritos
[+5] u/Waveytony: So if this pilot gets captured how cooked is 🥭
[+5] u/Stonkrates: Bull case weaker every day. Longs will be fuk for next ten decades.
[+5] u/Boston-Bets: [https://www.gmanetwork.com/news/topstories/nation/982395/philippine-vessels-passage-iran-strait-hormuz/story/](https://www.gmanetwork.com/news/topstories/nation/982395/philippine-vessels-passage-iran-strait-hormuz/story/)
Looks like almost every country except the US and Israel are getting "exempted" from the blockade of the Strait.
[+5] u/skychief99: Orange Peel post from today: "Keep The Oil, Anyone".
That was the extent of the post. WTF does that even mean????
[+5] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: # Recently markets have been buying the news and selling the earnings LMAO
[+5] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: u/Straitofhummus almost has 300 comments on a market holiday btw
[+5] u/ValuableChampio: A Peaceful Good Friday
A Peaceful Good Friday
A Peaceful Good Friday
[+5] u/epyonxero: >U.S. will insure losses up to $40 billion for tankers brave enough to transit the Strait of Hormuz. Berkshire Hathaway and Liberty Mutual are among six new insurers with which the federal government is partnering to provide maritime reinsurance to ships traveling through the Persian Gulf. The U.S. International Development Finance Corporation, a federal institution tasked with attracting private capital, is running the insurance program.-WSJ
[+5] u/PatrickSebast: What do you guys tell poors when they ask weird poor questions like "What's your payment on that" about a new car?
[+5] u/AirportMaterial5917: waiting for the resolution of this war is like watching paint dry
[+5] u/bhaaaaaaa: Raytheon must be REALLY busy as of late, replacing all those patriot defense missiles and being expected to supply the golden dome project on top of it.
[+5] u/pineapplekiwipen: some of the things these bears are posting are so retarded that i am starting to wonder if there is an iranian psyop going on at wsb
[+5] u/AccountBorn2561: Anybody else selling everything off and getting some BNO!!!! For Now
[+23] u/fartpooppee420: i've been slowly increasing the amount of cigarettes i smoke per day over the last year in order to build immunity to cancer. i am up to 4 packs of newport menthol 100s per day and i've never felt better
[+20] u/shinigami_2245: Apparently my most trusted and current news source is the WSB daily threads
[+18] u/aa73gc: Kid Rock, Rob Schneider and Tiger Woods?
[+12] u/Fun-Valuable-7355: PEACE = Perpetually Extend Armed Conflicts Endlessly
[+12] u/arbitraryBlue: Monday is gonna open flat then 10 minutes later, it's gonna dump
[+10] u/trent_upscale: Smoking Ozempic out of a light bulb, sweating inside a Spot-o-Pot rn
[+10] u/Excellent-Koala3873: I’m feeling pretty good about my puts after seeing the clusterfuck that came out of the news today
[+9] u/WombatShwambat: 🥭: “Everything is bigly they only have BB guns left nbd”
🇮🇷: 🛩️💥
[+9] u/qx2: 1.5T for next years Department of War budget is all i'm saying.
[+9] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: guy at the liquor store was surprised by how young I look compared to the age on my license, apparently because of my "lean, teenage body"
[+9] u/NeedToMakeMoneyz: He’s gonna be PISSED they made him miss his golf trip.
[+9] u/ThingPossible1971: Based on above comment, I certify you as a human. A retarded human, but human nonetheless.
[+8] u/Bonghead13: I think the news about a bunch of US aircraft getting spanked is indirectly telling us there are boots on the ground.
There was probably a large surge in aircraft operating in a smaller, more dense AO, and IRGC were wise to it. Target-rich environment for MANPADS.
I half expect the announcement of ground invasion to only come out after the fact, when they have had enough time to figure out how to spin the news and/or pull off a false flag attack to manufacture consent.
Calls.
[+8] u/Itchy_Election_5327: it is dawn in tehran right now, videos are going to leak in 1-2 hours
[+8] u/OrdinaryMix4013: damee for a country that doesnt have an air defense airran is doing a good job shotting down F35s LMAO
[+8] u/Coogiez: Simpler times when Reddit allowed emojis of Pepe 😔
[+7] u/SgtFuryorNickFury: Search UConn in these comments for some loss porn. Dude lost 2k
[+7] u/sanndman: Imagine all the people.
[+7] u/qx2: Does half of the 1.5 trillion budget for Department of War go to the Board of Peace I wonder?
[+7] u/Smuvmuniz: Why are you so mean to us
[+6] u/NiceJobSon: Taking the crotch rocket out this weekend to split lanes thru 30 miles of freeway traffic. If I don’t make it back I leave you guys my oil shorts.
[+6] u/lipmanz: 70% of the one percenters (under 3.5 million people) were born one percenters…so if every generation us plebes are shooting to get into the club, we are trying to go from a group of 346 Million serfs to an exclusive 1 million openings
[+6] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Huge crash Monday, please, so I can buy the dip
[+6] u/PlayerPlayer69: God fucking damn it.
Monday red because Iran shot down US plane.
Tuesday green because pilot is found in good health or whatever.
Wednesday red because pilot used as political bargaining chip.
Thursday green because pilot expected to be sent home or whatever.
Friday is going to be a quiet day.
Result: Sideways. Mango fucks your calls and fucks your puts.
[+6] u/sonofalando: If you’re in the top 5% of most regarded people in your state you’re still top 5% and should wear that badge.
[+6] u/StandardDot5115: this guy at the liquor store kept telling the clerk to look at his "lean teenage body" like wtf man
[+6] u/No-Relationship8261: Indians with VR glasses is not cooperating
[+6] u/No_Fig_7835: Just never gonna drive again dawg
[+5] u/jda823: How are we suddenly losing this war?
[+5] u/idontknow1967: Reading comments drunk for the first time in a while, y’all are making so much sense.
[+5] u/OntologicalSquirrel: 4 aircrafts downed today but very good totally not cooked jobs data which can only mean... calls for monday right? oh and oil better pump together with spy like thursday!
[+5] u/Ok_Complaint_3589: Diesel 7.5 now. Diesel to $15 wen
[+5] u/Educational-Cat-2553: FRIES IN THE BAG, ANYONE?
[+5] u/Perfect_Farts: I hope everyone had a good Friday.
[+5] u/BunchaPepperFcks: He thinks he can walk into a hostile nation of 90+ million people and just take their oil forever because he is a moron.
[+5] u/YouKnown999: Sir, a second plane … 😐
[+5] u/Dawnoftheman: Trump is going retaliate heavily to that unfortunately
[+5] u/franker555: T**mp always chickens out
[+10] u/shmito17: Put your life savings on it. GL
[+9] u/Dear_Respond4522: I still cry every time I get to the part where tom cruise goes "its me? I'm the last samurai?"
[+8] u/Cold_Distribution273: About to watch Blackhawk down, heard they might make a sequel soon.
[+8] u/NaturalFortune8397: they found the lost pilot gooning on top of a mountain
how does this impact the price of oil?
[+8] u/walrighti: Polymarket now says that there is an 80% chance that oil will reach $120 in April
[+8] u/Technicaltrades404: We are losing, but market makers will buy to pretend we’re winning.
[+8] u/Distinct_Chard3048: Please just drop like 30% so i can get in
[+7] u/Bubbledood: Domino’s killed off the buffalo chicken pizza so I’m using up all my rewards for free shit tonight and never giving them another dime. Absolutely brainless fuckheads
[+7] u/ActiveRelevant: Imagine getting a job when you can just gamble mindlessly on options and then beat your wife while drinking away your unemployment benefits
[+6] u/MooseyGoosey69: dont worry, we're bringing in trillions in tariff revenue!
[+6] u/Top_Cranberry_3254: Iran shoots down 2 aircrafts, Hormuz isn't open, Pakistan says "no deal" after consulting Iran's leaders.
So for the 20th time, how is this not a dead cat bounce bull trap? Especially if oil only itself will rise?
[+6] u/These-Shoulder8017: When your Gubment starts to have to lie to you you know its the end.
[+6] u/strip_club_dj: Technically there are atleast 2 boots on the ground right now.
[+5] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: Uh yeah. Idk if you've noticed but reality is a wee bit bearish right now. You know little stuff like war and oil shortages
[+5] u/HeftyBox3580: Is this where I review nicotine pouches?
Trying On! Plus 6 mg since I’m going through two tins of Zyn 6mg a day and prices jumped from$6.77 for 2 to $13.53 for 2 in a week and 1 tin of On! plus 6mg cost $4
On! Plus:
Positives: Super pillowy, yet wormy appearance, and good nicotine delivery.
Negatives: Took an axe saw to open the damn thing and perfectly got stuck in my car cupholder and took 2.5 minutes to fish out
Abstract: Probably sticking with Zyn for the gum tingle 🥶
[+5] u/Necessary-Damage3349: Boots on ground then?
[+5] u/claytondpark: A sleeping 😺 = adorable
[+5] u/Yasqweenn: On day 2 of no vaping. 10/10 don’t recommend.
[+5] u/Test-NetConnection: This is going to be like Vietnam on steroids, except Iran can manufacture a buttload of drones and missiles while also having tens of millions of potential soldiers.
[+5] u/claytondpark: Why no shiet to watch on nflx...
[+5] u/Revolutionary-Owl-79: As a trend follower, it’s been an annoying few weeks
[+5] u/Cloudbase_academy: Never forget the highly regarded posters in here who were claiming the US could reopen the strait 'within 24 hours' before the war started.
[+5] u/Shoganai_Hito: I just realized you can’t spell regard without degenerate… does this mean me slow?
[+5] u/claytondpark: 3 weeks ago, "this is not a war it's an EXCURSION"
Today, “No, not at all. No, it’s war. We’re in war,” 🥭 after the downing of the jet
$100m Jet ❌
$50k drone ✅
[+5] u/claytondpark: “With a little more time, we can easily OPEN THE HORMUZ STRAIT, TAKE THE OIL, & MAKE A FORTUNE,” Trump wrote in a post on Truth Social.
This guy for real???
[+5] u/sportnshit: I bought 4/17 $650P yesterday. Let’s see what crazy shit happens this weekend
[+11] u/patricktu1258: Monday will be green as fuck because logic never works in market
[+11] u/Deadsea3132: Bitches on tinder be like are you pro life or pro choice. Bitch I’m provolone
[+9] u/ThinkingOfTheOldDays: Had a blackened grouper sandwich today, in honor of JC
It was delicious.
[+9] u/dUjOUR88: You best start believing in Lost Decades...you're in one!
[+9] u/LeadingCable2452: FMA: Brotherhood. Steins;Gate, Code Geass.
[+8] u/Slow-Information-847: If our DoW wages a few more wars like that, we may need to start learning Chinese.
[+8] u/oldsguy65: Maybe 🥭 was watching Beverley Hillbillies and thinks if a US missile brings some bubbling crude up from the ground, he gets to keep it.
[+8] u/Unhappy-Ad-2609: Finally unbanned! Hi degens i missed u
[+8] u/DiarrheaFartLover: I fully predict that in like 20 years, they're going to give people the option of a $50,000 one-time check at age 67 to forfeit their right to social security. And a lot of Americans will be dumb enough to take it, and will spend it on a new F150.
[+7] u/No-Sympathy-686: Im oiled up and spread open for next week.
Let's go 🥭
[+7] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: bullish monday because "look at the chart" and "america"
[+7] u/miata_only: The smaller defense outlets are saying there's a global shortage of tungsten metal which is being bought up to stockpile kinetic Hit to Kill interceptors. Trades to be made. Don't shoot the messenger, you guys.
[+7] u/092Casey: Jesus rose from the dead and transcended human evil. Puts on Monday.
[+7] u/CreamyBehemoth: If the war in Iran is real then how come it burns when I pee? Checkmate liberals
[+7] u/ChampagnePapi-: where do you see yourself in 5 beers? what's your 5 beer plan?
[+6] u/No_Stand5622: I think they are diluting our gas.
[+6] u/No_Stand5622: 2020 we had covid, we stuck at home
2026 we have high gas price, we stuck at home
History always repeats itself
[+6] u/Live_Paper8680: you guys gotta stop quoting my honda accord in 2005
[+6] u/Unhappy-Ad-2609: You can chill a bit i'm currently monitoring the situation 😎
[+6] u/orangeyougladiator: I would like to apologize to none of you for nothing
[+6] u/PuzzledLeader8941: Starting to think my Monday puts are in trouble
[+6] u/092Casey: Hey y'all, Tiger Woods, Britney Spears, Shia Lebouf, and Bryon Noem all went to the beach tiki bar together.
After, Tiger crashed his surf board, Britney got a DUI, Lebouf was arrested.
Bryon witnessed all this and said, "Where are my boobies?" 🤌🤌
[+5] u/MusingsAndMind: just got brutally portfoliomogged by the WSB frat leader
[+5] u/surmoiFire: Put on MCD, 25 minutes now and I am still waiting
[+5] u/samwehl: The fact there’s no good games to play on a Friday night with the homies makes me ultra bullish on TTWO 🤌 GTA6 is gonna be a mega hit and that shit is gonna 4-5x the stock I just know it 😤
[+13] u/MrNewking: "I'm close," America gasped. "How can I finish?
"Pull out" the Strait of Hormuz said.
America jerked back and spilled on the Strait taco like an oil spill. "You'll stay open for me, right?" America asked as it pulled up its pants.
"If you clean up your mess."
The Strait leaned back, dinosaur nectar leaking from its passage. "Now clean up your mess."
America sank to its knees like a fallen empire and ate like a starving romance novel character.
[+13] u/LadderAdmirable: Any other time in history, we would be talking about potential circuit breakers on Monday, but now market is always wary of "it's a good time to buy" and refuses to drill more than 0.5% LMAO
[+13] u/Frosty_Dig4148: I got permanently banned from r/worldnews for calling this war the Pedo-Persian War.
[+9] u/i_simp_f: My 1040 is gonna be absolutely cursed this year
[+8] u/killerbeeswaxkill: Escort fucked me better than the wife goes to show you what the right motivation for a woman can do.
[+8] u/MomentPrestigious180: Just rereading Harry Potter and Harry is stupid as fuck. Dude is a trust-fund baby and should've just played 0DTE instead of learning stupid spells and living a 9-to-5 office job. Peak British mindset.
[+7] u/ComfortableWolf779: Btc only up 20% in 5 years is crazy
[+7] u/Impressive-Name5129: > Iran's parliament speaker Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf appears to have made a threat against the Bab el-Mandeb Strait
I suppose when you have armed milita that support you in Yemen you kinda have that leverage.
Oil is prepared to print
[+6] u/chauhan_shubham: MOONday looks Bearish ? DOnt hate me , I dont make the rules.
[+6] u/Ostars1: What does a capture US pilot do to the spy?
[+6] u/kaapooj: seems reddit is using restrictive ai tools/settings for site-wide bans
got banned 3d for a statement summarizing recent war news citing al jazeera as market context. worded as follows:
is. bombed x,y,z and ir. sxould respond tit for tat with a,b,c in is and gulf
seems the ai tool can't distinguish between an imperative 'should' and an expectation 'should' (above as sxould)
be careful guys
[+6] u/lysergalien: Listening to vaporwave while trading makes me want one of those big ass cellphones from the 80s so I can call and say "dump it" while slamming back nose beers in my corner office
[+6] u/ViridianEight: asking the dude who just woke up from me burglarizing his house for a 10 second ceasefire so i can load my gun
[+6] u/poorat8686: Get a government job you literally can’t get fired you’re untouchable. We had a guy upload classified material to google sheets because he “didn’t like excel” and the security guy came over and was like “haha my man, can’t be doin that!”
[+5] u/enlightenedfarmboy: THEY'RE TURNING THE FUCKING FROGS GAY
[+5] u/Kind-Recognition4528: He prolly doesnt even have life savings bro
[+5] u/BlackKnightsOptions: There's probably a cap
[+5] u/LarsTarkas: Elon will be the first trillionaire lolcow
[+5] u/wrongrobertpatrick: I log on to downvote to keep the day streak going
[+5] u/E39_CBX: Are my June NVDA calls cooked?
[+5] u/Spezalt4: You mean puts on the thing Zuck changed the company name to, blew 80 billion dollars on and then killed
[+5] u/Treverer: Kharg generates 80% of irans oil and gas revenue, they will go apeshit if the US tried to invade it. And I mean, it’s already pretty bad guh
[+14] u/Worried_Quarter469: We need to find out if that missing pilot still has his boots or if they came off when he ejected to settle the boots on the ground question
[+13] u/FullCopy: Larry Ellison learned how to switch his TV from HDMI-1 to HDMI-2 without calling IT. That’s when he thought he was ready for AI. Now, he has to layoff 30,000 employees to cover for his regarded boomer head.
[+10] u/Oatmeal_Raisin_: They’ve shot down like 3 different ones today
[+9] u/Emotional-Bag1398: The president of Reddit is also a p dough. Coincidence?
[+7] u/Vulthen1: Technically boots are on the ground but not in the way it was expected
[+7] u/Emotional-Bag1398: Department of War Crimes
[+6] u/Own-Wolverine-5361: China behaves better than the United States. Let that sink in
[+6] u/slothropdroptop: The fact 🥭 can get voted in an do this shit is just unbelievable. So numbed to it but sometimes it bleeds through. WTF. The US has lost the plot and maybe its not up and to the right on SPY
[+6] u/x2eliah: Oh. Right, okay, that is a pretty good explanation for the current setup. Cheers bro
[+5] u/clubdirthill: Needs to exist before they can blow it up
[+5] u/EKUSUCALIBA: Options are a zero-sum game, yeah? Not sure how I feel about taking money from other people. Maybe best to believe the other side is just hedge funds..
[+5] u/Organic-Grocery: My favorite thing to do when traveling is to completely lie about what I do. Met some guys from Canada and told them I make triple what they make doing bullshit
[+5] u/johnny63137: it felt weird today sleeping in
[+5] u/unholy-confetti: Just saw a diorama of coitus i thought that shit was strait of hormuz
[+5] u/TequilaTrader: None of my stocks moved today. It’s like everything was at a standstill.
[+5] u/TickTockTaudit: They were being nice. You’re super fat
[+5] u/TheoryInttro: "Two weeks" is the default deadline when he means "never" but doesn't want to say it.
See: his health care plan, his tax returns, his ending the war in Ukraine, his releasing the Epstein files.
[+5] u/WarmCan3034: welcome to my life for the past few years
[+5] u/Pete26l96: i'm thinking of selling all of my shares and putting everything into dogecoin. I feel there's a very high probability it will pump 50% at least once more for any number of reasons. just got to be patience.
[+5] u/Worried_Quarter469: Alot of it is people not getting married young anymore, which doubles the amount of housing needed
But boomers dying off in next few decades should bring down demand
[+11] u/100xOrBust: My girl hit me with the “I just find it funny how”. I didn’t read the next 3 paragraphs but I’m pretty sure I’m in trouble.
[+11] u/Different_Being368: US now claim barely 50% Iran drone destruction, down from 'Trump's 100% then 90% 80% 70%'
'Real number likely below 10%'
Why am i not suprised 😂
[+10] u/Majestic-Bass6772: should've just invested my money into baconators
[+10] u/unhappyreach_: I assume boots had to come in contact with the ground to rescue that airman
[+10] u/Majestic-Bass6772: they avoided boots on the ground by slipping on shoe covers
[+9] u/Castopliani: Who would win?
Bears: private credit crisis, oil price mooning, US run by memory care patient
Bulls: haha stonks go brrrr
[+8] u/Iunatic: Got banned for saying baguettes with an f LMAO. Admins are queers
[+8] u/jez124: Honestly thought they would escalate after markets closed Thursday.
[+8] u/Fantastic_Pirate3948: Don’t threaten me with affordable healthcare and a functioning society
[+7] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: We are fucking sending people around the fucking moon. If it wasn't for the stupidest war in the fucking world, he could have just made the following at 9pm:
Walk out on stage and say: Artemis is good go. We are sending people to the moon again.
And walk off stage. That's it. Or Just - Amerika is back to sending people to the moon. And mic drop.
And we could have gotten SPY to 1000. That's it.
instead - nobody will be eating normal food for 6 months again until the fertiliser market stablises.
[+7] u/Jake-And-The-Fatman: If the pilot from the shot plane managed to escape, I suggest Hollywood to faster create Saving Private Ryan 2.
[+7] u/Harp-Note: Every time I fill out captchas, I make sure to select bicycles when it asks for motorcycles and motorcycles when it asks for bicycles. So when the robot revolution comes, take a motorcycle, not a bike lol.
[+6] u/Johnny_Menace: Coors Banquet is the best cheap beer ever made
[+6] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: It’s called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it
[+6] u/PeeOnDusk: Has anyone actually met a mango lover in real life that’s actually intelligent and well educated?
[+6] u/Swimming-Cupcake7041: Lost US aircraft during Epic Fury is getting close to Iraqi Freedom numbers.
[+6] u/ArcDogRob: I wonder what that missing pilot is thinking right now. Wonder if hes thinking about holding puts
[+5] u/unhappyreach_: My cat just made a huge ruckus for more kibble, but didn't eat any when I gave it to her
Shes so mean to me
[+5] u/Level_Ad8089: Ameriturds or Ameritards?
[+5] u/Slightlybadpicks: My dream is to be a WSB microcelebrity
[+5] u/FuckElonMuskkk: Wpuld you rather be a plane in iran or a filetofish on the oval office desk?
[+5] u/MasterElite1: THE WAR WILL NOT END UNTIL THE DEBT IS DEVALUED
[+5] u/greyenlightenment: btc dump on weekend bad news or for no reason at all, still short
[+5] u/Happy-n-Healthy: Somebody tell new news damnit!
[+5] u/Happy-n-Healthy: You ain't Huey Lewis gtfo
[+5] u/ResidentPack4103: Long Brent short uso free money rn
[+5] u/SmexyFlexyStudley: I just stayed at the albatross hotel and saw tits on the beach there, it was 725 in the morning so I figured why not. Then my wife’s boyfriend clapped
[+5] u/StrictGuide2475: WHEN FUTURES????????? (someone has to ask)
[+5] u/BromSchnor: Guys I had sex with one of the exes from one of my friends, how do I tell him (the rest is okay with it cuz he’s dated other woman in the mean time)
[+5] u/asetniop: Does your friend currently have half a million gallons of diesel in storage?
[+5] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: Are we watchin the same market?
[+17] u/whydouhatemecablegod: they are eating the F15s, they are eating the A10s
[+12] u/General_Wealth_5177: From sending them to the Stone Age to be begging for a 48 hour cease-fire within two days
[+9] u/DoubleSkew: smh everyone talkin about the straight of hormuz
but nobody asks about the lgbt of hormuz
sus
[+8] u/Pauldoc001: Latest news. Colonel Sanders and Colonel Mustard to be made Generals in the US army
[+8] u/zanzebar: this game is no longer fun and it now seems like I am in SAW II. We used to short frozen orange juice and long gourd futures.
[+7] u/General_Wealth_5177: Mango begging for a three week cease-fire. Iranian say hell no. You put the music on let’s dance.
[+7] u/Tanpopomon: NASA funding cut by 23% LMAO holy shit. Glad I sold my LUNR after the launch.
[+6] u/DeerCum: 10000% lol it's a given once he started firing generals after Bondi got canned.
[+6] u/inevitable_fallen: Everything is bullish, green by open on Monday. A ceasefire in place and a 3% day and we'll go back to pumping.
[+6] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: I’ve had enough of the sneak dissin bro
[+6] u/John__Chena: Which one of you had Kristie Noems husband/wife as an escort?
[+5] u/General_Wealth_5177: Is it true that Big Jerome came out to give a speech of about job growth and simply said. “Bols r fuk”?
[+5] u/Agitated_Materiall: The shilling for "weekend dow" is so obvious. When will mods ban this shit
[+5] u/ComfortableNo5231: Lmaoo Citrini research has an analyst sitting in the strait monitoring ships
[+5] u/ArchegosCapitalCEO: Will my dopamine receptors ever recover from watching Brazilian fart porn?
[+5] u/f0xinaround: Found out why we call him kegsbreath today. Gahd what an ass hat
[+5] u/Fineous400: I accept your apology.
[+5] u/perceptive_AI: Why would you store millions in fiat when you can store it in a stablecoin so you can send the money to someone "anonymously" instantly.
[+5] u/elpresidentedeljunta: Xi Jin Pooh is in this post and he doesn´t like it.
[+5] u/InitiativeGlum2507: Monday morning you're going to see one of the greatest bull runs of all time
[+35] u/Axwe8: # 🚨 Next Michelin star is being awarded to the cooks at Bureau of Labor Statistics 🤡
[+17] u/Appropriate-Gap-7799: We who enjoy actual freedom do not listen to the people led by a pedophile warmonger 🥰
[+16] u/moazzam0: US now claim barely 50% Iran drone destruction, down from 'Trump's 100% then 90% 80% 70%'
'Real number likely below 10%'
Lmao
[+15] u/bzl33: > Meta now requires 65% of its engineers to write 75% or more of their code using AI by mid-2026. Their Scalable Machine Learning org has a target of 50-80% AI-assisted code. Across Messenger, WhatsApp, and Facebook, 55% of all code changes must be “Agent-Assisted.” 80% of mid-to-senior engineers must adopt AI tools like DevMate and Google Gemini.
This is happening across tech and will happen across a bunch of white collar fields.
[+15] u/ThatGuyDan123: Plastics could get expensive thankfully i stored these micro plastics in my balls for a rainy day
[+15] u/Time_Molasses_1581: I will be in surgery Monday and unable to sell my puts. I hope I wake up and SPY is 615 🙏
[+11] u/dopeadult: your cat is probably obese
[+11] u/AllianceOrTheHorde: Just give 2% of the GDP to NASA like ya did in the past. Come on. It'll be beautiful. Now it's at 0.33% and that's sad.
[+10] u/ProudestPeasant: cleaning with music blasting is underrated
[+10] u/JernauG: I used to enjoy weekends
[+9] u/guzzledglizzy: Hello fellow regards, how are you this fine morning?
[+9] u/JernauG: I’m a bit disappointed with the US they’ve had 70+ years of military budget to prepare. Where are the killer drone swarms, robot battalions, autonomous uncrewed tanks, laser weapons, mind control tech?
[+8] u/katrav86: anyone check their usps email for images of stimmy check ? mine still not in there :(
[+8] u/katrav86: Paid taxes this week. Fkn 24+ grand and change. had to pay underpayment penalty. and this is AFTER tax fraud.
no way out. shit is fucked.
[+8] u/Klutzy_Concert_463: Icy_Extension’s mom got railed by the French
[+7] u/whodey84: I've never seen so many "intercepted drones" do so much damage...
[+7] u/AllCapNoBrake: A lot of you won't be watching WW3 from the comfort of your own home while wrapped in your DD214 blanket and it shows
https://preview.redd.it/exn4josd06tg1.png?width=301&format=png&auto=webp&s=ac5dbef5dce88936ea79dd610d83b7dd52f698fe
[+7] u/ProudestPeasant: US not reporting real number of US casualties?
[+7] u/tristis_veritas: Already reporting fake inflation as prices soar and job numbers.
Why stop there?
[+7] u/whyshw: Chocolate eggs don’t hit like they used to
[+7] u/Able_Durian_1832: Is it going to be a green Monday?
[+6] u/CapitalElk1169: I grabbed a single put at Friday close
Usually something stupid happens over the weekend and this weekend is 50% longer so I figured it'd be 50% stupider
[+6] u/ProudestPeasant: tracy chapman - fast car
bittersweet song that is simultaneously hopeful and heartbreaking
[+6] u/Dear-Original-1024: Iran markets on betting sites look a bit concerning. Chance Iran x Israel/US conflict ends by May 15th are down from 35% to 25% in past 24 hours (market has $13M volume). Chance WTI hits $130 in April is up from 40% to 56% in past 24 hours (market has $5M volume).
[+6] u/ForsakenInside748: Love how I can deposit a check yesterday and funds be available today but ROBINTURD can’t have my funds processed from Thursday
[+6] u/Chance-Albatross7809: would that make the least sense? if so then yes
[+6] u/420chiefofZEP: You guys are nuts trying to play Monday.
[+6] u/patelchief90: Folks it’s only saturday
[+5] u/Dear-Original-1024: Must have got new weapons from Russia or China
[+5] u/dash_trash4255: Say it with me out loud: air superiority
[+5] u/nanita8140: I wish it was Sunday night already
[+5] u/leobanksjr: I thought Mondays were always green, isn't that the market regime standard now 😉
[+5] u/Scalpaholic: Futes inversing JC Easter Sunday. Be there. It will be wild!
[+28] u/CardiologistEqual336: imagine losing a war you started for no reason LMAO 🤌
[+18] u/AbiesNo9741: You mean she pegged you so hard, you hit your head on the wall and passed out.
[+14] u/MrsEveryShot: at least eggs are cheaper
[+12] u/GreatRegard: [Iran Says It Hit Israel-Linked Vessel in Hormuz Strait](https://www.usnews.com/news/world/articles/2026-04-04/iran-says-it-hit-israel-linked-vessel-in-hormuz-strait)
Green by Open?
[+12] u/NewlyOld31: Paid $98 to fill up a standard size pick up just now. We're fucked.
[+11] u/Zeppu: The biggest economic disaster in decades 🥭
[+10] u/Unique_Zucchini1041: Bro is such a liar, I should of held my puts over the weekend, but knowing this shit it will pump on Monday to fuck over all the put holders
[+10] u/Illustrious_Lion7671: So Hegseth had all the privileged info about the war and still made the wrong bet and lost a ton of money LOL, he belongs here with us
[+10] u/Intelligent-Claim193: 🥭 says Iran has 48 hours to make deal or US will unleash 'Hell'
[+10] u/Intelligent-Claim193: 🥭 CLAIMS U.S. IS “ENDING NUCLEAR IRAN”
🥭said Saturday that the U.S. is “getting rid of nuclear Iran,” while highlighting strong economic figures.
He pointed to 178,000 new jobs and a 55% drop in the trade deficit—calling it the largest decrease ever—and credited tariffs for the gains in a post on Truth Social.
In a separate post, 🥭 also criticized The New York Times, accusing it of misnaming NATO and calling the alliance a weakened and unreliable partner. Spy 615?
[+9] u/IJstDntKnwShtAnymore: All that military money and they still look weak as shit against cheap drones. Makes you wonder where the fuck are they spending it on? Oh, maybe on MREs or better tasting crayons?
[+9] u/Ahthongkorkor: 🥭 says Iran has 48 hours to make deal or US will unleash 'Hell'
it's been the same 48 hours for a month 😂 so is he negotiating with anyone or not
[+9] u/Jacobpapi: Do you have calls? You cant have peace talks while you have jets destroying bridges and buildings
[+8] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: My body naturally woke up expecting to check market morning performance but was tricked because it’s the weekend
[+8] u/mallison945: We have eleventy billion new jobs this month why are yall complaining
[+8] u/thekhan1313: Trump just declared holy war. USO to 200.
[+7] u/1-gp: Kendrick Lamar i know you’re here lol
[+7] u/Defiant-Fee-7550: Miami crypto bros out there driving 1990 Honda Civics now 😦🤌
[+7] u/BillyShears2015: 🥭 back on his 48 hour bullshit like we don’t know he’s gonna walk it back after futes give him a spanking Sunday night
[+7] u/Character_Pirate_152: I will continue to bet against the US being successful in this war because so far the US assumptions have been wrong the whole time. The US military has not been updated against modern drone centric war fighting. Thank you for reading my retarded shit post.
[+7] u/Advanced_Divide_4641: Jobs numbers were cooked because you regards have been working overtime behind the dumpsters giving blowjobs.
[+6] u/Wall_St_Bussy: BREAKING: Jobs numbers revised down to 63 after algorithm accidentally added new unemployment filings to initial report
[+6] u/BeginnersDuck777: PolyMarket found the one thing that will lead to politicians going after them… odds on the deaths of US servicemen.
[+5] u/bearsababy: The wendy’s near my house shut down recently. I wanted a baconator so I drove to the next closest one. I got home and they forgot to put my burger in the bag. You had one job Wendy’s…
[+5] u/Ahamadrayasbaboon: Yeah, just had lunch
[+5] u/Brilliant_Object_847: Wait, wait, wait… a crusade in the Middle East? I’m sorry what year is this again?
[+5] u/Icy-Motor-8519: Iran Guards: Israel-linked vessel stopped in Strait of Hormuz after being hit by drone, ship on fire - Iranian state media
[+5] u/BeginnersDuck777: QQQ 555P Expiring Monday. Take me to the moon 🌕
[+5] u/Philthatman: "We do not describe the world we see. We see the world we can describe." — René Descartes
[+5] u/SpaceCatVII: I'm finally beating SPY YTD because SPY fuk lol
[+24] u/ProudPeak3570: Monday at 8AM: "Iran wants to make a deal! We are having negotiations! Therefore, I am giving another 5 days to Iran! Thank you for your attention to the matter"
[+19] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: I think it's real for this time. His 🌮 are barely having any effect on calming down the markets. Also, we only see such huge transportation of materiel just before an operation is about to start. And the biggest of all, this is the first weekend in his current presidency that he spent at white house instead of his gold club in florida
[+19] u/knoqd_: You have 48h to open the straight or I will extend the deadline by 48h😡
[+16] u/Fine-Will: LMAO he just said all hell will reign down on them instead of rain down.
[+14] u/UnDemen: T:YOU HAVE 48HOURS OR WE WILL DESTROY YOU WITH THE MIGHT OF THE US ARMY!!!!!!!
Iran: No
T: Ok, no worries, maybe in 10 days then?
[+12] u/No_Clue_3225: 48 hours till giga dump
[+12] u/tandoori_taco_cat: the deadline is one week, 10 days and 48 hours simultaneously
you guys just don't have his 4D conception of time
[+12] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: Is rooting for bulls rooting for 🥭 ?
[+11] u/Creative_Walk_5579: Put the fries in the bag 🥭. 🌮 is not very effective.
[+10] u/Technical-Emu-32: I think he meant rain down on them, and not reign 😞
[+10] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: Huge airlift from US to Europe in last 24hrs by military aircrafts
[+9] u/ImadeJesusLaugh: just saw 🥭s tweet. I guess that means CALLS for monday?
[+9] u/soup4br3kfast: Glory to god. What a fkn lunatic. Just tryna cater to his christian base
[+8] u/HalaMadridPapaFlo: Tom Lee: “I’m lowering my estimates looking at the current geopolitical situation. S&P to reach 7999 by this month end.”
[+8] u/Competitive-Water944: Just paid $4.95 for a gallon of gas. Tired of winning Mr. President
[+8] u/Upset-Motor-2602: I am going to go tin foil hat mode. I think mango buddies at Citadel and other firms are just manipulating the markets to prop it up.
[+8] u/nesolution007: From 'enriched uranium' to 'enrich iranian'
[+8] u/NazgulSandwich: YOU HAVE A 48 HOUR NOTICE FOR THE 11th CONSECUTIVE INTERVAL OF 48 HOURS, THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING....
[+8] u/TofuMeltatSunspot: I don't use chat GPT but I think Gemini is much stronger than 6 months ago.
[+7] u/1M-to-Zero: Why did US asks for 48hr ceasefire? Specifically when you repeatedly declared the winning. I'm just confused
[+7] u/Happy-Philosophy9211: I think Market will *somehow* end up being green Monday
[+6] u/VincenteThomp: Because otherwise we’d be sleeping in it for all of our financial sins?
[+6] u/Ahzmer: Every monday spy has pumped for 5/6 of the last 6 weeks. Calls would be obvious. Thats why it will dump bigly.
Weekend oil gapped up bigly too, today. Hope you are adequately positioned and sufficiently leveraged for what will happen
[+6] u/Happy_Fly_7691: Get your suit of armour all shined up and your broadsword sharpened in the name of Jesus.
[+6] u/EasyBoard9971: no shot he actually follows through lol
[+6] u/MetalEnthusiast83: He really hit them with an Allah Ackbar.
[+6] u/GamblingMikkee: This delaying and TACO is actually bearish as it just prolongs the HORMUZ staying closed and oil will keep climbing. Initial reaction of deployment will be red but will quickly reverse once market realizes this is the only way to fix this issue
[+5] u/User0198888: This is the modern crusade holy 😭😭😭😭
[+5] u/hioman01: Imagine analyzing weekend Dow which is traded by two retards back and forth
[+5] u/soup4br3kfast: 644 spy puts exp monday boutta print
[+5] u/Illustrious_Job1951: We cant quit you jpow
[+20] u/mayorolivia: We don’t need Hormuz but I am GIVING IRAN 48 HOURS TO OPEN IT UP
[+12] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: Bro is like a gamer sending hate messages after losing a PvP battle.
[+10] u/avdvetf: why don't they just pour the oil into the strait and let it float out naturally, collect it on the other side
[+10] u/avdvetf: kash patel nervous rn
[+10] u/CasherburyTales: I located the downed F-15 pilot and he told me to buy calls
[+10] u/Reply_Stunning: upvote for baba ghanoush
[+9] u/SergeantThreat: When the ultimatum time runs out, he will say he’s graciously extending it two more weeks but he’s SUPER SERIOUS THIS TIME
[+8] u/solidsneeze: your strait open request left on "read"
[+8] u/Perfectly_Splendid89: If Usa finds that lost pilot, he is gonna make millions from the netflix deal.
[+8] u/Fatt-Elvis: I remember when I was only vaguely familiar with the strait of Hormuz. Life was glorious
[+8] u/Acceptable_Dirt69: Nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli
[+8] u/fredditf: Artemis2 about to circle around the moon and come back to a firework show and nowhere to land
[+8] u/Ok-Art6659: Not happening. Im loaded with puts. Sorry
[+7] u/Mediocre_Pangolin572: On Monday morning my BP calls will go to the moon and I will finally leave this subreddit.
[+7] u/bidahtibull: There are farmers watching soldiers (or other farmers) shoot blackhawk helicopters with AKs lol
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cm29zmpdj3vt?post=asset%3Aa131ea99-29d8-42c3-8090-d624fcbb0ac6#post
[+7] u/John-AtlasGames: Just a data point on inflation: Amazon notified Seller Central third-party sellers (e-mail on April 2) that "Starting April 17, 2026, a **3.5% fuel and logistics-related surcharge** will be applied to fulfillment fees across Fulfillment by Amazon (FBA) in the US and Canada as well as to Remote Fulfillment with FBA from the US into Canada, Mexico, and Brazil."
[+7] u/wildcat1055: Much like ber anoos, Hormuz will naturally open
[+7] u/killcon84: 48 hours before bulls get rear ended
[+7] u/kemar7856: 2tb ssd i bought for $160 is 738 now lmao
[+6] u/timetopractice: They should have a pride parade on the strait of hormuz
[+6] u/bidahtibull: At this point, he should just ask Iran nicely.
[+6] u/AutomaticAerie4672: I hate it when I have to sneeze but the sneeze keeps edging
[+6] u/Suspicious-Return809: Yeah, I still maintain fuuuuuuck AI. I'll make money off of it cause I may as well but fuuuuuuck AI.
[+6] u/AfraidAnalyst: Technically we already have boots on the ground
[+6] u/Acceptable_Dirt69: Cuz fuck em, that’s why
[+6] u/Marshmallowmind2: I've been awarded a top 1% commentator aka " peak gambling addict incel loser award"
[+6] u/Playless: the angrier taco gets the more likely a taco is coming
[+6] u/Hot_Avocado_2701: I’m holding puts and I’m scared
[+6] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: We are 48hrs 30mins from Taco
[+6] u/HoneyBadger552: wsb. my only source for news. trusted everywhere
[+5] u/X211499Reddit: To be fair Iran is also doing this
[+5] u/ThermalChaser: I'm gonna count to three. One...two.........two........
[+5] u/kerrykingzgo-T: Try not to drown in all the pussy
[+5] u/XXX_KimJongUn_XXX: Taco Tuesday. Hard shell, no beans, seasoned with salt.
I think 120 if they can get a layup to the yemenis.
[+23] u/Separate_Fold5168: Fastest place to find out news
[+15] u/n1ck90z: Next 🥭 tweet: iran agreed to give us all the oil for free, give me a super yacht and change their name to mangoland. I. will give them 7 more days
[+15] u/AdvisorOdd1938: No deal will be reached in 48hrs.
[+15] u/TrollerCoasterWoo: Iran only has 48 hours before T**** extends the deadline again. As a reminder, the war has already been won a few times this past month
[+13] u/Warm_Implement3088: Mango really dropped an "Inshallah" lmao
[+13] u/Anonymustafar: My wife is a mossad agent
[+13] u/givemethestars000: al jazeera is a badass news network. The angles and aesthetics feel more forward looking than standard networks
[+13] u/iratezero: That was the drunken dipshit's plan but the smart military leaders said no we're not sending our soldiers into a trap to get slaughtered, so the generals got fired. It's a disgrace.
[+11] u/Fuzzy-Monk-7520: its embrassing no country respects him
[+11] u/Outdoormadness1: US claiming the moral high ground whilst openly admitting to war crimes, after they kidnapped a world leader and also starving out another island country. Just wow lmfao
[+11] u/king_of_all_retards: Fuccccckkkkkk
Open the casino alreadyyyyyyyyyy
#IM SO FUCKING BORED
FUCKKKKK YOUUJ
[+11] u/kodaksdad2020: Horrifying a British couple as I crack my 3rd Jack Daniel’s on a train
[+10] u/Fuzzy-Monk-7520: he will see blood red futures and taco
[+10] u/Careless-Jacket-6929: Mango man sounds like a terrorist “glory be to god” before we rain hell upon you 🤷♂️
[+10] u/VariousScenes: "Im gonna drop bombs on millions of innocent people" followed by "glory be to god" is an interesting choice
[+10] u/Senior_Professional4: All the crypto bros who told their family at christmas that this was a once in a lifetime opportunity to buy into bitcoin must not be looking forward to tomorrow
[+9] u/This-Marzipan-5557: If this guy tacos again the last shred of any kind of credibility is lost, and if i was iran i would do the fuck i want.
[+8] u/8675309l: Iran blew up another ship today. Supposedly. Some ships paying off Iran to leave, no reports of ships entering. Nowhere near close to over.
[+8] u/International_Bee653: Its wild that the r/news threads about the missing pilot keep getting locked
[+8] u/Captain-Vimes: Lot of people in here underestimating the impact of the last 24 hours
[+8] u/whitehypeman: He's gonna taco Monday morning right when the market opens. We've all seen this a thousand times
[+8] u/LongjumpingDig46: I joined this group when I started trading futures and thought I’d be receiving helpful tips from a collectively well rounded and educated group of knowledgeable individuals. I am now a gambling crackhead who listens to a bunch of grown men who speak in memes on Reddit. Thank you!
[+8] u/NoBuyers: ["Something’s up in southern Iran."](https://x.com/hey_itsmyturn/status/2040477470428713315)
When the war first started (and before news media had picked it up), this account tweeted "something is up" - I saw it in real time.
Curious..
[+7] u/Eduardusthegreat: I have a feeling Donnie said what he means and means what he said. 48hrs till prime time
[+6] u/Warm_Implement3088: 48 hour deadline is at 10am so he has 30 to buy puts and shorts
[+6] u/Notable_Naps: I have come to the conclusion that while I like money, no matter what play I make, money does not like me.
[+6] u/Warm_Implement3088: how is it even legal for private credit funds to limit withdraws?
[+6] u/Strong_Coffee_9999: What do we need stealth missiles for? We destroyed all their air defense and won the war a month ago!
[+6] u/soapchewer2: No I think we are just tired of being told things are ok when the world is on the brink of economic collapse from the straight being closed. Even if it were to open rn the damage is already done
[+5] u/OscarCapac: Despite the apocalyptic headlines, we're still in the middle of one of the largest tech revolutions in history. Now is an amazing time to buy discounted AI stocks, such as neoclouds and photonics
[+5] u/DuckTalesOohOoh: It has barely been a month.
[+5] u/Mumbai_Meri_jaan: **Snip, snap! Snip, snap! Snip, snap! Y**ou have no idea the physical toll that TACO have on a trader!
[+5] u/Ready_Scratch_1902: stock market trading on mom and dad fighting basically
[+5] u/Liquidtears: Are we ever going to get the Alien files?
[+5] u/Senior_Professional4: What stock should I sell to my uncle at easter dinner?
[+5] u/WallStreetBetsCALLSS: Bers praying for terrorists so their puts can print
L M A O
[+20] u/wyudtix: Week 1: this is not war
Week 2: we won the war
Week 3: send help!! Where are our allies?!
Week 4: we have our own oil, don’t need the strait anyway
Week 5: we are liberating the people of Iran
Week 6: if you don’t open the strait, we will bomb the people of Iran and destroy all their infrastructure
[+17] u/UsernameTaken_123: These 'flattened' air defenses are doing a pretty good job downing our jets
[+16] u/habfranco: Jesus coming back tomorrow would be actually a perfect timing
[+16] u/dbgtboi: Saw the little nephews today
They literally have an app on their tablet that scans their Pokemon cards and tells them the current market value
What level of bubble are we in when 10 year olds are gambling with Pokemon cards on the school yard and watching the markets?
Goddamn lol
[+14] u/kryptonyk: TIME IS ALMOST UP! 48 HOURS UNTIL I GIVE ANOTHER EXTENSION AND THEN FORGET WHAT I EVEN SAID ANYWAY.
[+11] u/Axonum: Senior Israeli Defense Official: Israel preparing to attack Iranian energy facilities, awaiting green light from US.
[+11] u/Carfar_Farcar: Guys I'm starting to think maybe Monday won't be green.
[+10] u/spaurake: So Oliver North was arrested under Reagan for selling missiles to Iran and now I see him on Fox as a “military analyst” insisting Iran shouldn’t have missiles. You just cannot make this shit up, this timeline is a biut.
[+8] u/EnginrA: I’m taking a particularly stinky dump rn
[+8] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: The second my bracket is out for March madness I immediately stop caring LMAO
[+8] u/Snoo23417: OK NOW they don't have air defences for real now.
[+8] u/BigShmokeBuffer: 48hr deadline until US vs Iran super serious dance battle
Gonna rain down hell on these fools
[+7] u/ev01ution: 🥭 is lacking conviction. Either go through with it or just leave them alone.
[+7] u/cryptopolymath: Who do you think gets traded before the deadline? Krash Patel or Tulsi Gabbard?
[+7] u/Naewind: Everyone expecting a taco, Monday will be the day he doesn't.
[+7] u/Careful_Response4694: Why is spy losing money right now? Arent spies really useful during wars? Make no sense. 🤔
[+7] u/Initial_Attitude_980: Who is hormuz and why is everyone so concerned about their sexuality
[+6] u/apurimac777: Guys guys guys
I got a crazy idea
What if you bought calls AND puts!
[+6] u/cosmicoconuts: That’s it, teleport him to the Waffle House
[+5] u/bdh2067: Who the hell is bullish?
[+5] u/MadSkyGlider: Save your tears for another day !
[+5] u/Glittering_Let6527: BREAKING: cholesterol hit second vessel in 🥭s straight.
[+19] u/rollinhating: So Iran gets 48 hours again? Only so the market will pump on monday, when he gives them another 5 days? Then another 10? then 48 hours again? And this shit will be on repeat for the next 20 years?
[+16] u/slimeystevebob: Since SPY 680 would defy all logic, it's actually likely. But since it's likely, the opposite will happen. Therefore, puts. But since I just called puts, calls it is. But since I just called calls, puts it is. You're welcome.
[+15] u/Pury101: This sub used to mean something , dudes were actually drinking their own piss for banbets !
[+15] u/sylphvanas: Can we gap down again Monday? I missed the boat Thursday
[+15] u/wattap: Mango isn’t going to taco on this, there will be a deal or he’s going all out Monday morning - right at open
Bears still fuked tho
[+14] u/NotMe357: "TACO SAYS DOWNING OF U.S. JET WON'T AFFECT NEGOTIATIONS WITH IRAN -NBC NEWS"
---- Walter Bloomberg
It sounds like TACO really want to TACO 🤔
[+13] u/Haunting-Window-5125: So how many months will it take for the market to realize this war wasn't a quick 2 week operation lol
[+13] u/skykitty89: Imagine the memes if he dies on Easter
[+12] u/PinealTone: So they already started to attack the oil assets of Iran.. one of the petro chemical plant..
$130 Oil isn't too far fetched now if we see retaliation..
[+10] u/GuyFaulks77: Spy $660+ open Monday
[+10] u/Evander85: Dear diary, I’m on day 2 of no casino and don’t know if I can take this anymore. Tell my wife and children I love them.
[+9] u/borrokalaria: 2T SpaceX IPO, you say?
Phew. Back in the ’60s, we didn’t have computers, AI, or Elon Musk, and yet, we used to fly to the Moon, no big deal.
We basically parked our rocket on the Moon like it was a Walmart parking lot, hopped out, took pictures on 35mm film cameras, grabbed some dirt, planted a flag, and then hit the Start button we apparently invented just to get the spaceship back to Earth. Easy shmeezy.
[+9] u/AndThisGuyPeedOnIt: Happy Easter to all, but especially to the evil haters and losers of WSB who hate gains and want to destroy our ports, the deranged lunatics who post "ber thot" when their $60 in calls rise to only 80% down, and the butthurt mods who thinks politics don't affect the market. They won't be allowed to win! Thank you for your attention to this matter!
[+9] u/0DTEKing: So that 🥭 mo”fer is dead? 🤔
[+8] u/defordj: Justify to who? He went to war unilaterally, we're bombing unilaterally, he didn't tell Congress or his own national security adviser before he did it. NATO has made it clear they're not helping, and he told them to fuck off anyway. It would be a decent conspiracy theory for a neutral president, but he doesn't give a fuck about justifying anything to anybody.
[+8] u/andymoney17: I thought he was already making a deal? Didn’t he say talks were going great so he postponed? Are these imaginary talks going to be even greater on Monday 8:58am ET?
[+8] u/dasboot523: I'll bet money when Hegseth is out of power he will move to Israel
[+8] u/Capt_Chickenpox: Wait i don't have any champagne yet
[+8] u/Big_Bad_Fish11: With all the advancements in GPS and communications, I don't see how any pilot who's been shot down can not be tracked instantly. Surely they keep some device that sends out a GPS beacon or something similar.
[+8] u/AdCritical5383: And dinosaurs wearing lasers 🦖
[+7] u/Chemical-Coconut-203: The volume of puts is too high to leave the market alone; there will be market manipulation. Calls.
[+7] u/johndsmits: Seriously having *another* 48hr deadline that ends on _the resurrection_ truly says holy war,
and that's puts my friends.
[+7] u/shbk: Nothing ever happens
Now watch this drive
[+6] u/Dajoechi: We getting a Taco Monday?
[+6] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: Tonight I saw boobs on the ground
[+6] u/killainvest: Hey……I’m not holding anything this weekend:) it’s peaceful but boring
[+6] u/justanaveragejoe520: Monday will be the biggest 🥭decision ever. Taco like usual and look like the weakest fool ever on the world stage. Or actually stand up and do what you say dooming the markets.
Positions: sitting 75% in cash rest in GlD with a average $368 basis
[+6] u/FirstGenerAsian: Puts were too obvious. Calls it is. Always inverse WSB bc that’s what MMs do to us 99%
[+6] u/kanduking: what a great time to be China, totally risk free theater to test all your hardware capabilities directly against US assets without losing a single man
[+6] u/Muted_Wasabi_1284: Are nukes priced in? Cant remember