▶ Full Post Text
[+60] u/Jadedtrader33: They gave you two whole days of fake green to get out and you bought calls.
You have nobody to blame but yourself.
You are retarded, and may god have mercy on your soul. 🫵🤡
[+25] u/RFKsBrainwormm: Today’s gonna be gayer than Lindsay Graham
[+24] u/hv876: You’re not losing money, you’re lowering your tax bill.
[+23] u/Random_Yoohooser: God. I suck at this, even after years of practice lmao
[+20] u/Les7X: Maybe shorting oil wasn't my brightest idea today
[+19] u/Habefiet: If you believed the eighteenth instance of them saying talks going well war over soon everything’s cool and made financial decisions based on that, you need to turn over all of your life decisions to somebody else ASAP
[+18] u/Thebaxxxx: The cope: Living in a low cost city is a great way to save money and find happiness
The truth: I live in a city of losers 😭
[+18] u/Automatic-Mountain45: there couldn't have been a worse speech. the only thing missing was him saying "we decided to start using nuclear weapons"
[+17] u/RFKsBrainwormm: BULLS WILL PAY FOR THEIR ARROGANCE, YOUR DAY OF RECKONING HAS COME
[+17] u/aniote: The world will heal when Americans start using celsius and meters
[+17] u/bklotrgoblet: Back to the Stone Age… for the market
[+16] u/Mundane_String5998: Sell everything and panic fuck
[+16] u/Appropriate-Good-358: I don’t understand the oil markets but that isn’t going to stop me from risking my entire net worth on what it might do
[+15] u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister: If you didn't see this coming you should find other news sources
[+15] u/Bxdwfl: The hindsight warriors are out in force this morning 😂
[+15] u/LasyKuuga: #BUY THE DIP.
#They expect us in the wreckage, retail!
[+15] u/Independent-Tree-985: The astronauts went to the moon so your port didnt have to! 🚀
[+14] u/borkdpasito: Crude is closing $115.
[+13] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: You bought calls on a what? During a what? Dumbass bol
[+13] u/BillyShears2015: Somehow, the Bears returned
[+13] u/ihatenames-: HEY TAXPAYERS, FUCK YOU! THANK YOU FOR YOU ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
[+13] u/NewDawn101: 🥭 said they’ll be watching Iran via satellites in the future and attack whenever US thinks it needs to intervene. That’s crazy, there is no incentive for Iran to ever stop attacking gulf now
[+13] u/Any-Camel-9913: I got $6 a day passive income
where do i retire
[+12] u/ChickenYip: Imagine your country is shorting oil and it pumps 10%
[+12] u/pussinbuuts: IT WOULD MAKE THE MOST SENSE TO RETURN ALL THE GAINS FROM THE PAST TWO DAYS
THATS WHY ITS NOT GONNA HAPPEN
[+12] u/NotRobotNFL: lol you guys fell for a conman
[+12] u/ismebbb: # BULLS CRYING AND VOMITING RIGHT NOW AS THEY CHECK THEIR PHONES IN BED
[+12] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: Jesus gave me a second chance can’t believe my puts going to print today
[+11] u/pleasestoptalkin: Put holders making “I told you so” posts while still losing money to theta lmao
[+11] u/Emergency-Ticket5859: oil almost up 10% in a day, nothing to see here
[+11] u/MissMatriarch: Today is the day SPY is being sent back to the Stone Ages, like we have never seen before.
[+11] u/SherbertMindless8205: Remember when the president just slept for four years?
[+11] u/extrabigbrain: The world is now negotiating and cutting deals with Iran. 4D chess guys.
[+11] u/Marshmallowmind2: 🥭 Creating generational wealth for his own family
[+11] u/RDDT_100P: What happened chat? I thought yesterday we were on our way to 700??
[+11] u/hioman01: Freak the fuck out and panic sell everything right now
[+11] u/Happy-Philosophy9211: 🥭 pumps market for 2 days in order to create room for more dump over the weekend.
Many people predicted this correctly, gj WSB
[+10] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Today is the day you bols learn what circuit city is
[+10] u/SawToothKernel: This is going down so hard. The strait is not opening, the invasion is imminent.
[+10] u/patmccock86: So I lost 90% of SPX gains from last night lmao. I hate options
[+10] u/Worried_Quarter469: Oil up this much in a day must mean Japan got liquidated
[+10] u/Fun-Heron-8123: There is no plan, there is nobody to save you. It’s over.
[+10] u/Shoddy_Ad897: Our allies must love us
[+10] u/necarpenter417: I knew thay cocksucker was gonna fuck m over, yet I still held. Im a greedy piggy boy. Fuck
[+10] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: i dont even know why he did the speech, we didnt learn anything new
[+10] u/Worried_Quarter469: If today doesn’t circuit breaker, we never will
[+10] u/borkdpasito: As someone who has been shitposting about long oil for 3-4 weeks - this is truly euphoric 🚀🛢️
[+10] u/deadbutdreaming_: My Pokémon port continues to obliterate my Webull port for the 8th straight quarter
[+10] u/hiphopanonomos: Morning fellow put holders! My that was a rough two days of being mercilessly mocked! Say now that I mention where did those bulls go? I dare say it's rather quiet! Ha 💸 Ha 💸 Ha 💸
[+10] u/GreatLakesGoldenST8: Can’t wait for the Houthis to drop the Al Mandab DLC pack
[+10] u/Unh0lyCatf1sh: I wonder if the Roman Bookies took bets on when the Empire would fall
[+10] u/wendysdumpstr: # DRILL TEAM 6 🦭 ON STANDBY 🛢️
[+10] u/HistorianMuch8963: Man my portfolio came back from -90% so many time in it's life.
What a trooper
[+9] u/Trenavix: back to watchin teletubbies for the day
[+9] u/NapNapNapNap: Today is going to be blood red
[+9] u/Johndough99999: Hope you boys bought the oil dip. You had to know Taco would Taco on the Taco, right?
[+9] u/Fantastic_Pirate3948: Is today liberation day 2.0?
[+9] u/powerboner: Fake bounce to 650’s then straight down after 10am
[+9] u/TropicalOinkment: Exactly year ago bro pulled up a tariff board and became stuff of legends. Much regarded
[+9] u/Green_Perception_671: Donald been edging us for weeks, just commit to the ground invasion, hit the circuit breakers, and let me climax already
[+9] u/0DTEKing: This will be bigger than Tariff Crash, 5600 is not a meme anymore
[+9] u/X211499Reddit: Starting to hoard all my olive oil
[+9] u/LasyKuuga: So when does America gets margin called for shorting oil 🤔
[+9] u/mallison945: There’s no way to unfuck this situation. Nice job mango tard boy
[+9] u/ayashifx55: Oil is 108$, bulz really thought and believed the war would end in a single April fool speech 😂😂😂😂😂
[+9] u/Mindless-Week-1250: People shouldn't be comparing this to the tariffs market. That was artificial regardation that could be reversed very easily and quickly. This is a supply shock caused by very real physical problems that cannot go away easily or quickly
[+9] u/Solid-Season9984: Autism awareness day, made me think of 🫵
[+9] u/Bonkers119: Oil hasn’t dipped once in the last 4 hours lol
[+9] u/EyeSea7923: It's like 🥭 is consuming ports to reach Perfect Cell like retardation.
The Perfect Retard.
[+8] u/Thecreamcheeze: Is fatty going to say anything today?
[+8] u/tika_dengu: 🇯🇵 declares bankruptcy
[+8] u/jyohnyb: Prep the hotline number. Whole lot of ree rees bought calls yesterday
[+8] u/_rockthemike: I’d you follow that Iranian dudes trading advice, you would go long this morning
[+8] u/yyn1999: Oil is up \*checks notes\* 10%
[+8] u/Screamdaditty: Need a -3% type of day
[+8] u/LavishnessTimely7372: I saw the market going up then realized I had my phone upside down
[+8] u/looool_k_libtard: This asshole blatantly manipulating markets is so fucking exhausting. Could have just calmed everything down and instead says we’re gonna be there for awhile an bomb them to the Stone Age. Oil will probably hit $130 soon.
[+8] u/MrBlueEyedFox: All things considered. It could've been a lot worse.
[+8] u/habfranco: Oil going through the roof. Fun times ahead…
[+8] u/SHIBashoobadoza: You bols had me in the first half of the week ngl
[+8] u/sauronII: If you think this will be over soon I have property in Dubai to sell to you.
No, seriously, please DM.
Please.
[+8] u/Select_Season7735: Yesterday was the most obvious dead cat bounce ever in the history of the S&P 500
IMO NFA DYOR
[+8] u/Upstairs_System_6257: I open oil price chart and my eyes get assaulted by shrek's cock
[+8] u/New_Friend4023: Downvoting everybody today
[+7] u/Briack89: I feel like the market will go to Stone Age if we continue this shit
[+7] u/Frozen_Shades: Only bagholders can see this comment.
[+7] u/Affectionate-Fault46: My local gas station is upgrading the price sign to fit a 2 in the first digit guys I’m so fucking scared
[+7] u/orsomeshitidk: Why couldn’t we have just closed at this price yesterday. Damn pedos always up to something
[+7] u/sadassa123: ANOTHER BIG SELL THURSDAY
[+7] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/WinstonBuddyBro made a bet that SPY would go to 700.0 within **1 day** when it was 655.197 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 1 wins and 5 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+7] u/Bill_Clintons_Desk5: Man when this Iran thing is over we’re going to have a face-peeling rip
[+7] u/Kabrosif: If you just bought puts at close on Wednesday for Thursday the last 6-9 weeks you’d probably be a millionaire by now.
[+7] u/hiphopanonomos: Should we all just start trading 1dtes? All the action happens overnight
[+7] u/wilhelm96: Feels like a -4.5% sort of day for QQQ, which would push it right back down to Monday’s close.
[+7] u/borkdpasito: Enormous backwardation in WTI now. Bols are so fucked
[+7] u/FeverTreeCloud: Just put the fries 🍟 in the bag
[+7] u/elpresidentedeljunta: Today is the real test how much "buy the dip" mentality retail has preserved. If they are still alive and kicking, they are buying this into green. If they have capitulated, there will be enough blood to have the tankers ship around the Strait on it...
[+7] u/ThrowRA-KB: There were a bunch of retards saying we won’t go below 650 again and that shit didn’t even last a full trading week
[+7] u/NeighborhoodDry1821: Honestly we’re due for at least one circuit breaker with all That’s going on, please let today be the day
[+7] u/codespyder: Put more money into USO after his speech thinking maybe I was panic buying
I was panic buying
And it was the right call.
[+7] u/twostroke1: damn, maybe bears were right.
(still gay tho)
[+7] u/ChickenYip: Bols had us in the first half ngl
[+7] u/SnooRegrets6428: So we dumping another 5%
[+7] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: morning double espresso and Zyn combo to get the colon traffic moving 💩
[+7] u/Catherine_S1234: April Fools
Turns out it’s still bear!
[+7] u/mrmagootoyou2: Guy came in here yesterday said he loved that I lost money because I was into oil...
Sadly he deleted his comments 😞
[+7] u/PikerTraders: He can’t tweet he way out of this! What a douche bag
[+7] u/financiallythriving: An April fools joke that has gone too far
[+7] u/aa73gc: No jumps, no pullback. Indexes straight line down, oil straight line up
[+7] u/Impressive_Start_980: Oof this could be a -3% kinda day
[+7] u/Unhappy_Hedgehog_808: Was actually retarded the amount of delusion in here thinking everything would keep pumping to ATHs while a retarded war is being fought pushing up energy prices globally.
[+7] u/I-IV-I64-V-I: Bols, i genuinely respect yall, we tried to tell you it was a dead cat bounce :(
don't come to the market tomorrow
[+7] u/FartPolluter: I like how Burry has this reputation of being massively quantitative, a whiteboard full of partial differential equations, and he's bagholding lululemon and birkenstock
[+7] u/LeDoohickey: When is diabetes and or high blood pressure gonna save us from Mango’s Market Manipulation
[+6] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: Bruh my puts that were down 72% yesterday are in the morning today how crazy
[+6] u/Beneficial-Sail-6139: The decapitation of the American economy like you have never seen before
[+6] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: I think I’m on this sub too much. I just told my wife I’m bullish for eggs.
[+6] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Bols waking up in shambles
[+6] u/Guapglocksndsticks: Wow absolute green shrek Everest on crude oil
[+6] u/elpresidentedeljunta: I was asking for a medical exemption for my port, so it won´t have to go to the market today, but the guy just looked at me and said: "It´s dead, Jim." My name´s not even Jim ffs
[+6] u/Extreme_Green_1708: USO may go to $160 before this is over - now US is open to hitting their oil.
[+6] u/ponter83: Only oil bols are getting today is Diddy oil
[+6] u/Tropicalfisher: I, for one, cannot believe Joe would do this to us
[+6] u/ThrowRA-KB: Holy fuck a -1.5% move in premarket???? Yeah we’re going back to 630s maybe even 620s.
Also what’s with the fucking 1%+- moves in pre market, let me make GAINS
[+6] u/marawki: Lets hit that circuit breaker, cause that’s the only logical thing with all the ping pong news
[+6] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: Today is what 🐻 dream about
[+6] u/aniote: I guess I was fooled in the casino by my tendency to be too honorable like Andrew Mountbatten
[+6] u/VaIentineX: damn shld have bought puts instead of going all cash like a pussy
[+6] u/netflix-ceo: Dont think penny has dropped yet, oil will hit 150, strait will be closed for at least another 3 weeks (and thats an optimistic view), ground troops are 100% landing at any time. Oil will rally, equities will drop. A lot more pain to come
[+6] u/angrybubblez: The price action yesterday and today makes me want to go on vacation. A beach somewhere…. If you know, ya know
[+6] u/EyeSea7923: My Canadian stocks are up in premarket. Bless their souls.
[+6] u/Spiritual_Taste_1253: I’ve missed a lot of free money plays over my years.
Loading up on puts right before an announcement of escalating war and a long-weekend was not one of them.
[+6] u/Detail-Vegetable: I completely believe yesterday was an attempt at market manipulation. I just can't decide if 🥭 thought his address would pump or dump the market.
[+6] u/ChickenYip: Bols wishing they sold yesterday before close
[+6] u/borkdpasito: Oil still rippin - rest in peace Bols
[+6] u/NewlyOld31: Shorted more futures this morning. Shit is going to plummet. Low 6400s by EOD. Too bitch made to hold over the weekend though.
[+5] u/dickwheelies: Happy world autism day wsb!
[+5] u/hv876: When you pump on nothingness. Expect dump to nothingness— An ancient Chinese proverb
[+5] u/RandyTomfoolery: I guess I should not have sold USO calls yesterday.
[+5] u/Defiant-Fee-7550: I can no longer afford gas for my cars 😦🤌
[+5] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: i think we should just keep market close and make it a 4 day weekend.
[+5] u/powerboner: TIME TO EAT SOME ASS
[+5] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: # The only good news for bols is this is a generational buying opportunity for stocks LMAO
[+5] u/LowWarthog: We live in a postmodern schizophrenic world. What a wild ride.
[+5] u/everyday_mcspicy: happy liberation day, bois and girls
[+5] u/ProudestPeasant: did we get initial jobless claims out the way yesterday or nah
[+5] u/fearcely_: Glad I bought those puts
[+5] u/Fineous400: Looks like we open red today.
[+5] u/Kickboy21: Just got a robinhood notification for “MSFT moved below your custom target price” i’m not opening my portfolio 😔😭
[+5] u/borkdpasito: Oil short squeeze 🐻🛢️
[+5] u/patricktu1258: Bruh as a bul this is scary
[+5] u/Pascal030: damn oil still climbing
[+5] u/apurimac777: Just delete the fucking app bro. You can't win
[+5] u/MadHat0815: Has anyone checked on the Japanese and Bessent? I don't think their oil shorts are doing too well
[+5] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: IM TOOTIN N POOPIN 🫴💩
[+5] u/selbstlosbased: I want to panic sell everything rn
[+5] u/Williamnguyen62838: BREAKING NEWS: GDP REPORT IS OUT TODAY AT 8:30. STAY TUNED
[+5] u/BarbellPadawan: It’s almost like he was lying to us the last few weeks. Odd.
[+54] u/Small-Maintenance-65: Rumor of war end: SPY +4.5%
Reality of war getting more intense: SPY -1.5%
[+42] u/solidsneeze: guys, I've been texting Trump for the last 2 weeks... he thinks I'm Iran! this is so much fun. what should say next?
[+37] u/Heavy-Imagination506: https://preview.redd.it/nusx2youorsg1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=3e8be86a86dc611cc866c23f1a51f0594793a7b6
[+35] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: Just remember a majority of y’all chose this willingly. Fucking retards LMAO
[+34] u/theprodigy107: This is not what Epstein didn’t die for
[+27] u/angusjones1: The strait will open back up naturally has to be the dumbest damn thing he's ever said.
[+26] u/br0botic: “The president can stay regarded longer than you can stay solvent” or something like that
[+26] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: The year is 2027. You just heated up your last pack of ramen. You and the boys have to raid tonight. That other camp has a carton of Marlboro's, and a case of ramen. Tonight, we're taking it.
[+25] u/MyCactusTeacher: seriously though. this moron ruined the market
you retards may like gambling on tweets and tacos, but it isn't a formula for making money
[+23] u/ConsiderationKey1658: 🥭 has destroyed the market and made Iran stronger.
[+22] u/myironlung6: BREAKING: Kamal Kharazi has been seriously wounded after Israeli strikes hit his home, killing his wife.
Kharazi had been the lead negotiator involved in backchannel efforts with Pakistan to arrange a potential meeting between Iranian officials and JD Vance, per Aljazeera
[+21] u/spsteve: To all the dumbasses that actually thought this would be ended last night... you are the biggest bunch of fucking morons I've ever seen.
Thank you for your attention!
[+21] u/TrickyDickCheney: I could make a substantial argument that we are heading for a crash comparable to ‘08 but then I’d get a bunch of moronic replies and it would be a waste of time
[+21] u/Illustrious_Job1951: "The strait will open itself " is peak 2026 so far
[+20] u/Successful-End7689: Trump: “I thought markets would be lower”
Markets: lol say less
[+20] u/CultureForsaken3762: Stock Market is closed Friday.
Scramble for the exits today.
Good luck.
[+19] u/emanresu711: It’s gonna V cause I never win on puts
[+18] u/AgeMiddle854: Why is it going down? That was such a well delivered speech that clearly outlined an exit strategy. 🤣
[+18] u/DropTop545: Those astronauts left earth at a really good time.
[+18] u/Snoo-90587: This little maneuver is going to cost us 20 years
[+18] u/thefxll: absolutely insane bulls were sitting there expecting him to deliver good news about a situation you have been watching unfold and worsen for a MONTH
[+17] u/Fine_Specialists: This is wha makes bulls turn into bears for a long time
[+17] u/coldtacomeat: I bought spy puts and uso calls before close yesterday. AMA
[+17] u/AirwickS: I can see why this guy bankrupt 3 casinos
[+17] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Guy who shorted USO in shambles
[+16] u/Ill-Expression1737: https://preview.redd.it/z91sxncoprsg1.jpeg?width=1064&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0e9c914d087725b428c9154db52abaaf5b2d2190
[+16] u/Character_Pirate_152: Tale as old as time. Israel assassinated an iranian negotiator who was working with the pakistanis. Israel doesn't want us to go.
[+16] u/thefxll: bulls would fall for it on april fools day, its just so on brand
[+15] u/knoqd_: Your portfolio will be brought back to the Stone Age where it belongs
-🥭
[+15] u/jay4281: Is a -5% day too much to ask for? Take us to 620 please
[+15] u/winston511: If 🇺🇸 is gonna come out of this with any sort of “win” we are gonna have to seriously decouple from 🇮🇱 and I don’t even know if that’s possible. They’re like the most toxic girlfriend you could ever imagine at this point. Actively ruining any plans we have to end the war.
[+15] u/dooosayn: The fact that they’ve somehow got SPY still over 600 shows how fraudulent this market really is.
[+15] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Sir, another orange has struck USO
[+15] u/lysergalien: Last nights address could have been a tweet, in fact it basically was
[+15] u/edapalooza: SecDef gonna tell troops to not worry about dying as they will all be resurrected on Easter next to JC.
[+15] u/SSkilledJFK: > 🥭 has also sent conflicting signals, reportedly saying negotiations were close to producing a peace deal, but the U.S. was also prepared to escalate fighting by sending thousands of troops to the region.
“Conflicting signals” or lying? CNBC trying their best.
[+15] u/Detonate-Ralph: somebody smarter than you used you as exit liquidity 🫵🏻😂
[+14] u/CUbuffGuy: Bessent getting margin called as we speak
[+14] u/dripdripto-death: TACO did accomplish one thing. He sent my 401k to the stone age. Looks like SPY will be in the 620-630s next week, Unless oil starts pushing into $120s I think that's the bottom. We will see.
[+14] u/2020isgreat: We don't even have boots on the ground yet lmao
[+13] u/moviekid214: You mean destroying the fucking world didn’t end up being bullish? Color me surprised
[+13] u/ShittyUsernane1222: 🥭: I will send Iran to the Stone Age
🥭: \*sends the US to Stone Age instead\*
🥭 is giving the US that modern day Bronze Age collapse kind of treatment.
[+13] u/sloanemonroe: When he posts, “Iran is calling me endlessly after my very strong and powerful speech last night and they want a deal very badly” hopefully people just FUCKING LAUGH at him.
[+13] u/General-Giraffe9092: We are about to find out why most presidents chose diplomacy with Iran instead of sending the world into a recession.
[+13] u/trsx5: The fact that oil is up 10% and the index is only down 1.5% should tell you something.
Im not sure what, but it says something.
[+13] u/RB_7: mango finally met a situation he can't bully his way through and hurt himself in his confusion
[+13] u/Helios-Sol: # GG TO EVERYONE WHO SOLD THE TOP YESTERDAY
[+13] u/LaserBeamer17: Boots this weekend, Houthis shut down Bab el-Mandeb strait next week, spy $600 and Oil at $160 by 4/10
[+13] u/Iceman12145: The confidence from bulls last 2 days must be repaid in full.
[+13] u/Front_Umpire4873: Oil going out of treasury’s control
[+13] u/drakilian: Oil is up almost 11% but market is only down 1.6%
This is unironically a generational put buying opportunity
[+13] u/CapnCurt81: Opened a lil hedge $652P position at the peak yesterday. So excited to make a couple grand while my real portfolio hemorrhages tens of thousands.
[+13] u/otimanob: Remember when we were all concerned about egg prices? We didn’t realise how good we had it.
[+13] u/Significant_Speed854: Monday and Tuesday were pure market manipulation.
The JPM collar, the headlines from NY Post, and WSJ, and then his tweets about negotiations. In hindsight, it’s clear this was all to manipulate the market.
Last night, the message is clear. It’s not about negotiating.
[+13] u/Worth-Walk6265: "I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
"Lmao." said Gandalf. "Well it has."
[+13] u/Okami_The_Sun: Crude might touch 120, bools open to the slaughter
[+13] u/Beagle001: In this difficult time filled with uncertainty and fear, in the early dawn hours after one of the most serious addresses a president has given the nation, our leader has launched into a long and scathing rant about Bruce Springsteen.
We're in good hands.
[+13] u/theprodigy107: Hegseth frantically waking up from a bender ln, logs into his computer, opens Claude, and frantically searches “How to open the strait of Hormuz naturally? Make no mistake. Do not hallucinate.”
[+12] u/wasifaiboply: FUCK YOU
PAY ME
👑🐻
[+12] u/Muted-South4737: I'd like to welcome you all to front row seats for my ber origin story.
[+12] u/Semperfi74: Here to share my daily dose of wisdom : Curently the market is not rewarding your skill - it’s punishing your participation.Bless you !!!
[+12] u/Gom_KBull: So all the oil futures price action up til now was just based on "well orange guy DID promise itll be over soon, so lets keep it low for now okay? :3 "
[+12] u/Bam2458: Crazy that we’d be at SPY 800 rn if the US chose the other timeline.
[+12] u/Flea_Mac_Daddy: How is the WTI Crude higher than Brent? I thought we were immune from the consequences of our actions.
[+12] u/Irishbros1991: Oil over $111 it's going to be a slaughter today holy
[+12] u/Manufactured_feces: My favorite part of the speech was when he compared this war to WWI AND WWII
[+12] u/Several_Bread_9144: Bols turns out we are not headed to the moon, we are headed to mumbai slums
[+12] u/sroop1: 'COVID will disappear by Easter' moment
[+11] u/Naught5: Love this place on red days
[+11] u/ercanbas: $4k to $49k this past week.
[+11] u/hunnna: Happy Liberation Day to those who celebrate
[+11] u/ecoburner87: it only took 24-36 hours of fake government/institution-mandated machine buying for bulls in this place to get ECSTATIC and EUPHORIC and INSUFFERABLE
[+11] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: There are people there that think we are worried because spy is red.
no my boi, oil is going to 120. the recesion will be biblical.
it seems some people dont remember 2008.
[+11] u/sck178: BREAKING NEWS: SPY denied coverage by UNH after gunshot to the chest
[+11] u/NoodHigga69: So it really was just a bear market rally
[+11] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: Oh shit I just realized the market isn't even open tomorrow. Shits gonna drop hard, fast, and all day
[+11] u/unikuenobody: "Pleeease stop, he's already dead." - bulls' mom.
[+11] u/Any_Life_6178: Where’s that fuckface, bearhunter? Probably sticking this🤌up his anoos?
[+11] u/OSRSkarma: I hope nothing crazy happens after the market closes for the long weekend.
[+11] u/Just_Learned_This: I promise to take some profit this time.
[+11] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: I hope people who voted for him bought calls
[+11] u/atlu_manny12: we’re hitting a circuit breaker today thanks big don :3
[+11] u/Economisty: Every time I look at USO it hits a new milestone.
$138 now LOOOOL Fucking Hell.
[+11] u/Ok-Thought-9960: Crazy how everyone forgot about epstein
[+11] u/bmault: Make money on USO calls, spend it on gas, it’s a vicious cycle
[+11] u/DriftWoodBarrel: I think realistically we just dump all day.
[+11] u/SleepyxCapybara: Everyday that strait is closed calls for impending doom for the global economy, and we havent even begun to feel its full effects. We fucked
[+10] u/imtypingoninternet: quick nap > wake up > check premarket and oil > back to bed
[+10] u/universal-deceit: Why am I waking up to a margin call FUCK
[+10] u/CUbuffGuy: This legit could be a circuit breaker day with how oil is going
[+10] u/Fine_Specialists: This shit is exhausting already
[+10] u/2020isgreat: Friendly reminder: IT ONLY GETS WORSE
[+10] u/zachuwf: Market getting sent back to the Stone Age 🥴
[+10] u/Hardbun: WTI is at 110 gg lmfao
[+10] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: the last two days were the two most devastating trading days I have ever had and I am actually about to get fully let off the hook by this lmfao
will I learn anything? FUCK no
[+10] u/utterlyirrational: what an amazing speech last night
really made america look so tough
[+10] u/Initial_Ad_9250: GG bers. I don't think a V is happening today.
[+10] u/Jarlaxle_rigged_it: Mango bankrupting the casino again
[+10] u/ZX2Slow: Brent is cheaper than WTI Crude. My port isn't ready for today.
[+10] u/bobbyd121: sometimes things seem so obvious in hindsight. this one was obvious in foresight.
[+10] u/MRROSADOH: so absolute dump at open?
[+10] u/Fleegalicious: Dude is the worst possible leader for the market omfg
[+10] u/No-Put2311: “Believe it or not calls” yeah buddy I’ll take a large fries and no cheese on the burger
[+10] u/StophJS: Went cash at the perfect time a couple weeks ago and then got FOMO and bought again just before the red started 😭
[+10] u/Athien: When he says “2 weeks” it’s his classic code for “it’s fucked”
[+10] u/saintmitchy: Mango today: “Guys I’m proud to say that the war is over”
SPY +4%
“Is what I’m going to say in just TWO WEEKS”
SPY -2%
[+10] u/Historical_Bother274: Yoo wtf is happening to wti
[+10] u/No_Animator4564: Sold most of my puts yesterday, took a bath, panicked. One thing worse than a regard, a coward. Calls on $FKME
[+10] u/Send_Lawyers: Oil prices like these haven’t been seen in a long time.
[+10] u/gmon333: The orange man really hates when people talk shit about him 😭😭
[+10] u/Kammler1944: Fuck this orange rambling cunt.
[+9] u/ThinCrusts: #MARKETS CLOSED TOMORROW THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
[+9] u/PalsRocksMyWorld: Oh we’re FUCKED fucked today, huh?
[+9] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: “I’m surprised the market isn’t down further honestly” … idk maybe because you’ve been LYING to everyone for weeks
[+9] u/callsonreddit: Reddit accepted my comment appeal. Turns out ppl read it
[+9] u/Pure-Marketing-4236: All that rally was was a retest of the 200. Now the real drop starts.
[+9] u/CallsOrPutsYES: So this is what ya mean by RED LIGHT THERAPY
[+9] u/MyCactusTeacher: what if... get this: there isn't some secret genius plan in the background, and this isn't all an elaborate strategy to accomplish grand goals that are obscured by intentional obfuscation and calculated chaos. What if... he is just stupid?
occam's gayass razor
[+9] u/Vulthen1: https://preview.redd.it/tbzca8gwnrsg1.png?width=1052&format=png&auto=webp&s=8f1d1eed250ddfc3f983a86c46d8c33fe97c394b
[+9] u/guhhhh_MU: so glad I talked all that trash yesterday....... GUH
[+9] u/Wall_St_Bussy: #concern for bull intensifies
[+9] u/sloanemonroe: So S&P was only down about 6% from the highs as of yesterday? That’s nothing. Long way to go down. LOOOOONNNNNGGGGGGG way
[+9] u/Inner_View1095: They told you that they were preparing for oil 200$.
You didn’t believe
[+9] u/sandygws: WTI: $110.34
BRENT: $109.26
[+9] u/br0botic: Crash on the anniversary of liberation day. Can’t make this up lmao
[+9] u/Illustrious_Lion7671: Funny how he chooses april first for the most deranged speeches. It's like he knows he's a pathetic joke
[+9] u/trsx5: Yo we actually may beat the gas prices of 2022 today. LMAO THANK YOU BIBI
[+9] u/FriedCheeseSanga: Theres no way it keeps dumping, id make too much money. You’ve been warned
[+9] u/Ok_Material3073: 🥭 had the best April's fools prank on the 🐂. 😂
[+9] u/Dahmememachine: We in the perpetual “2 weeks in Iran” now bois.
[+9] u/StonksInvesteur: Last year, 🥭 drove the market down with tariffs then TACO everything to cause +11% SPY on one single day. Then the next day on television bragged about how much money his friends made
[+9] u/BirdyPooPoo: Where we’re going we don’t need $100 oil.
*picks up and tries to light discarded cigarette
[+9] u/John-AtlasGames: How can it be that WTI is priced higher than Brent right now
[+9] u/Federal-Trip4067: GUYS IM GOING TO LIBERATE THE OIL IN IRAN MYSELF
[+9] u/Ok-Poetry-4721: good day to not open the app
[+9] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: How is spy not 600 already
[+9] u/ThatGuyDan123: Your port has to die today to get resurrected monday
[+8] u/sir_dreads: This is your chance to take a 20k loan and yolo into 0tde SPY puts
[+8] u/NimblePoopBlade: This past week has increased my nicotine tolerance tenfold.
[+8] u/universal-deceit: Met an afghani girl on Reddit. She likes me guys..
[+8] u/Siglo_VI: Closed out everything and switched to oil yesterday. Did I finally get one right? Feels weird this has never happened to me before
[+8] u/Capt_Chickenpox: How many people are gonna yolo into oil only to lose it all today?
[+8] u/Dry-Operation6112: You are in a fucking bear market and trump cannot just declare he is done and the strait will open. Sell all bounces until June. Do not catch falling knives.
[+8] u/Locke_____Lamora: If we see a circuit breaker today I'll make back half of what I lost this month.
[+8] u/DamnTheDan: Puts just seem way too obvious right now, right? Right?
[+8] u/callsonreddit: I loved it when a redditor said ya this aint no ceasefire speech 1 min in lol
[+8] u/Advanced_Structure21: My fondest wish this morning is that all his family and friends were so convinced that the speech would send the market to the moon that they all full-ported 1DTE calls.
[+8] u/emr1028: Gas is gonna go up to $4.50 by EOD Monday, have a great weekend!
[+8] u/hacksong: Easter weekend, and oil hath risen again.
[+8] u/Comfortable-Sky7801: if you didnt get out yesterday idk what to tell you
[+8] u/2020isgreat: Every single oil analyst saying this shit is really bad. Retard on WSB: nah oil crashed in the gulf war
[+8] u/TJMBeav: Has anyone seen Tom "Fat Cuck" Lee this morning? We need a welfare check pronto
[+8] u/HolyBubbiDiver: Bulls so quiet, only sound in here is my wife's boyfriend playing her like a meat didgeridoo in the next room.
[+8] u/Axwe8: # IT'S SO JOEVER 🤡 🤡 🤡
[+8] u/staresinshamona: i’m laughing at you bulls
i’m also taking a shit
[+8] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: The news is fucking stupid. They'll repeat the talking points that Iran's military is destroyed. Go to commercial, come back, and talk about how Iran is launching drones and missles into isreal.
So which one is it?! Tell me the goddamned truth! Im tired of being propagandized! Jfc. I thought we lived in the information age, turns out its the misinformation age.
[+8] u/Ready_Scratch_1902: imagine if Kamala won
[+8] u/WoodooRanger: I’m old enough to remember $0.99 gas and I’m not that old.
[+8] u/Scared-Signature-452: Define irony: Iran now charging a tariff for ships transiting the strait of hormuz.
[+8] u/aftherith: We taking turns being smug/broke
[+8] u/twenty_three_three: 10% move in oil overnight? Not many times you see that.
[+8] u/Cav829: Modern investors are about to find out why just whispering "stagflation" to anyone who invested in the 70s caused them to visibly recoil.
[+8] u/Jealous_Archer_4522: Well well well.......so he announces war over JPM's put collar expires worthless......
Only to reset yesterday and now it's back on. Friends in high places. Well done bois well done.
[+8] u/ericcc1029: Is a measly -5% day too much to ask?
[+8] u/emergencyexit: It has been ~~2~~ 0 days since bol are fukd
[+8] u/Icommandyou: Happy liberation day to those who celebrate
[+8] u/Haunting-Window-5125: If japan actually shorted oil they are gonna have to come out today and put their country up for sale
[+8] u/ContributeAVerse: This private credit meltdown proves that Wall Street will find any way to skirt the boundaries of propriety and fleece retail investors. Same bs as 2008
[+8] u/baadsha: Why would Bruce Springsteen do this to America.
[+8] u/2020isgreat: Going back to Costco to buy all their gasoline to spread FUD
[+8] u/Hot-Performancy: 😡🤬 WHERE IS OUR DAMN TARIFF STIMULUS CHECKS
[+8] u/2020isgreat: Market crash every year April 2nd mark it on your calendars
[+7] u/wasifaiboply: sPy 7o0 eoY
Fucking child's play taking your money.
👑🐻
[+7] u/Microwave-Dave: DOW 50,000 troops on the ground
[+7] u/FuckingJPMAlgos: # Exactly what the fuck was the purpose of yesterday's "announcement" like there was nothing in it that everyone didnt know already.
[+7] u/universal-deceit: Morning cig+coffee hits different… especially when the world’s coming to an end…
[+7] u/dontslambro: Good luck with oil at these levels.
[+7] u/gmon333: Feel like I could close my phone, got back to bed and wake up to thousands of dollars in profit
But Last time I did that I got liquidated 🤷🏽♂️
[+7] u/UnivalveX: nothing another war is almost over tweet can't fix
[+7] u/ShittyUsernane1222: how many circuit breaker do you want?
2026: yes
[+7] u/dontslambro: Oil climbing more than a dollar an hour.
[+7] u/Knarre30: We will dump brutally today. All of 🌮 homies had their exit possibillities the last few days. Invade Iran during Easter. Than when the market is down he will declare victory (even if its a lie) and we pump after insiders could buy by low prices.
[+7] u/ClientNo1880: Congrats if you bought and held 1 DTE at the peak yesterday.
[+7] u/buppiejc: Imagine where SPY would be if Trump got elected, and did nothing but play golf the entire time.
[+7] u/Sengle473: We reaching 630 today aren’t we?
[+7] u/HolographicHeart: These fossils really have the audacity to raze the market 10-20% and then turn around and say
"Can I have your student loan money now pwease? 🥺🥺🥺"
[+7] u/tinim9: On Monday before market opens, orange man will tweet that the war is over pretty much. Markets will rip. Get your 1DTE calls today.
[+7] u/Ill-Expression1737: bulls back in downvoting mode
[+7] u/EpsteinDrive400: 2-3 weeks homies
2035: We'll end the operation shortly. We've obliterated everything. They are back to the stone age and cant even make fire. In just 2 or 3 short weeks, we'll be done.
[+7] u/jay4281: Amerifats not even gonna be able to afford gas to go get their McDonald’s
[+7] u/kim82352: Trump's "bring Iran back to the stone age" rhetoric kind of implies a nuclear attack. Happy Easter everyone.
[+7] u/Gom_KBull: A tremendous crash so beautiful✋, so tremendous ☝️
Nobody's 👐 ever seen it crash like this 👐, never before ☝️
[+7] u/danyallah_: CASH GANG CHECKING TF IN
[+7] u/Such_Coin: I wonder how team "priced in" explains this.
[+7] u/Throw_Away_TrdJrnl: Lmaooo remember like just earlier this week a bunch of you guys in here saying the war was over xD
[+7] u/Urzuck: Bols being this salty today means we will have a proper red day.
[+7] u/Love_Tech: The whole Middle East is going to be pushed back few decades.
[+7] u/Star_Lord924: FOR FUCKS SAKE STOP GOING DOWN. GOOD FUCKING GOD THIS MARKET IS A FUCKING POS. FUCK THIS ADMINISTRATION
[+7] u/G-IDIOTTHEMAN: Inside you are two wolves. One is regarded, the other is highly regarded.
[+7] u/ercanbas: I’m just gonna full port puts and close the app until 3pm
[+7] u/claytondpark: Lbh, Iran ain't ending in 2-3wks, this shiet is just getting started... 🥭 Ain't fooling the mkts
[+7] u/2020isgreat: This oil price is with multiple government suppressing it btw lmao
[+7] u/S-Club-Party: Whenever I see people comparing this to the GFC or Covid I always think of this:
> Guy who has only seen The Boss Baby, watching his second movie: Getting a lot of 'Boss Baby' vibes from this…
[+7] u/South_Owl_7686: You see, when he said “drill baby drill” he was referring to the markets.
[+7] u/The_BakedCrusader: How many morons here bought calls at close thinking mango was actually going to deliver good news?
[+7] u/jay4281: Oil shreking miiiiggghhtttt actually get us to a circuit breaker lol
[+7] u/Junkingfool: We are in our way for an epic crash.. aren't we?
[+7] u/plannedgravy: All y’all need to man the fuck up. Too much whimpering and crying in here.
[+7] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: What will happen when boomers and Gen X are no longer a thing? The kids can't read, do math, or think in general.
[+7] u/Sir_Grindalot: https://preview.redd.it/4d5l98ofrrsg1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=efbc4b1c245936e9807b6330660c1810d0275935
Mood opening my broker app
[+7] u/hardcrepe: They managed to keep USO down a good for a little while. Years from now we’ll learn how much money was lost trying.
[+7] u/savethechows: oil? what oil? bitch you cookin?
[+7] u/theprodigy107: https://preview.redd.it/97bo68l0srsg1.jpeg?width=497&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee8ff6aa7262a04a254cda37acc75da614c12b0d
No boots on the ground.
[+7] u/No-Improvement3164: Mango sitting here thinking last year I just played a joke about 150% tariff you all freak the fuk out and sold.
This year I bomb a country and cause the largest energy crisis in history and you guys won’t sell and my puts ain’t printing enough. 😂😂😂
[+7] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: Holy fuck. Crude broke 110 and there are no signs of slowing down. Surely it can't keep going up that much from here right?
[+7] u/Playless: When everyone in here is saying buy puts, that’s not a good sign
[+7] u/jasperCrow: I hear Artemis 2 took oil to the moon with it.
[+7] u/jasperCrow: How red will we get today, -3%?
[+7] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: Surely Korea telling people only to drive when necessary is bullish LMAO
[+7] u/palindromic: guy at the gas station frantically pulling down the numbers looking for bigger ones to put up
[+7] u/cashflow_: Do any of you guys want some candy? It’s right over here in my van if you want some
[+7] u/qui_tam_gogh: When you got addicted to mexican street food and your boy moves the cart and you can’t find it anymore
[+7] u/Bcider: Oil is at $110. Why aren’t we dumping more.
[+7] u/Front_Umpire4873: Crude keeps going up, jeez $111
[+7] u/Emotional-Bag1398: Oil over $90 is bad for the market don't be a delusional bull we are way over that
[+7] u/jmc774: Barron will sell his puts at open then 🥭 tweets something bullish. I've seen this one before
[+7] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: You guys remember when gas went to $3.00 a gallon and Jr's approval rating dropped from around 47% to about 23%?
I miss the good ol days.
[+7] u/dzjay: Get that son of a bitch Bessent on CNBC
[+7] u/NiceJobSon: Sour hour will be generational selling opportunity before 3 day weekend.
[+7] u/IronSnatchKitty: Pocahontas would hate that in 2026 We're still not painting with all the colors of the wind.
[+7] u/Muted-South4737: Bulls yesterday: Everything is great, and always will be!
[+7] u/utterlyirrational: you're closer to being that guy than you are being wealthy
[+7] u/kcramthun: Had to explain the Obama Iran Deal to someone that forgot all about it. The last 10 years have just been a complete waste of time and energy.
[+7] u/symplton: 10-4 Central that’s affirmative: We’ve arrested the homeless naked man impersonating an Alexa on 8th and Gold. Over.
[+7] u/more_aero: You’re missing something.
[+7] u/Rich-Badger-7601: Down -$11K and reporting for duty
[+6] u/DahyunDabFan: O H B L I T E R A T E D
[+6] u/Key-Chemistry7151: We’ll just sweep the 2008 lows then rally
[+6] u/Rich-Badger-7601: Still a little in awe that the speech no one asked him to give went this spectacularly badly
[+6] u/Street-Badger: This shit is fucking exhausting. I have to do insane things with the entire port on the daily not to get skinned and eaten in this manipulated market. It’s going well, but Jesus this like sailing in a typhoon or something.
[+6] u/auroraavm: d@mn, he timed his April Fool's over 3 days
[+6] u/abramoam1: I am a bag holder now
[+6] u/confused_teabagger: Hey, member when all those bols were prancing around zestily and talking shit? I member!
[+6] u/bmault: My $130 USO call was dead in the water yesterday. Thank you orange buffoon
[+6] u/silverfutes: I bought 5 NKE calls & a tank of gas for the same price. Going to see which goes to zero first.
[+6] u/sandygws: WTI **+10.64%** since the speech 🤣
[+6] u/ClientNo1880: I swear if we get another pump midday on a lie I’m gonna end it all.
[+6] u/ShittyUsernane1222: the relief rallies yesterday and the day before yesterday were the last trains out of Busan lmao
[+6] u/IndependentUsual7444: Expect more jawboning at 9:30
[+6] u/mayorolivia: When is the Premarket hail marry on truth to try to save the market?
[+6] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: People who think war is a good thing for a market think this will be the same as Iraq, but the confidence in the US & market conditions are completely different and not in a good way. Idk man, idk. Then again, I'm currently holding puts, so it may rocket just on that alone
[+6] u/awetfartruinedmylife: "this will go on for 2 more weeks"
yeah if mango told the truth this time
[+6] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: the VOL reversal/backwardation and total sentiment shift could produce some wild results today
[+6] u/Muted-South4737: Reminder that all of the \*gestures at everything\* was a choice.
[+6] u/NateDawg655: This mofo is going boots on the ground
[+6] u/callsonreddit: Some ppl call me a pussy for going cash overnight
Them poors never lost 20k at open
[+6] u/Ecstatic-Ask7495: What is this world where spy looks like a meme coin
[+6] u/Tempo2298: I was thinking about buying puts so the market finally goes up
[+6] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: MB Ghalibaf warning against invasion a final time, saying a campaign across the country has raised 7,000,000 volunteer troops ready to die for home.
[+6] u/2020isgreat: oil bears what goes through your mind? Nothing? ok
[+6] u/Nick_Gilberts_Bowtie: Hegseth: "Trump NEVER bluffs!!" Market Algos: "Gonna jot that one down"
[+6] u/severed02: Can’t wait for the market to fall for “end of war is near” for the 7th time
[+6] u/cloud_cafe: **BREAKING NEWS: ARTEMIS 2 CREW TOOK SAMPLES OF OIL ON THEIR MOON JOURNEY**
[+6] u/Unique_Zucchini1041: This will probs go up a little bit at open then dump hard
[+6] u/sloanemonroe: Bought $2500 worth of qqq puts at close. Should have bought more. No way to tell though.
[+6] u/Ok_Passage7069: God I’m so fucking gay I could suck a cock rn
[+6] u/Jumpinmycar: Wait, are we saying the markets didn’t like last night’s speech?
[+6] u/Relevant_Season4218: Employment report coming out 830 just a little sweet frost icing on the cake
[+6] u/quarterbackk: Why do we not have a banbet leaderboard? Would love to see who has the most success compared to their timeframe and jumps - not just 1-2% 7d bets
[+6] u/saintmitchy: These bears have arms
[+6] u/kawkface: Man fug that guy who has 100k in puts expiring today
[+6] u/Lord_Kio420: Let the bears have their day. The dominant bulls will win long term
[+6] u/somewhere_cool: WTI crude just blew through 110. Oh boy.
[+6] u/saintmitchy: Oil has doubled since December lmao
[+6] u/silverfutes: It’s obvious LED bulbs were created by boomers, they absolutely refuse to die gracefully. Instead they just get dim & flicker until you get pissed and toss them out.
[+6] u/Relevant_Season4218: Other day a guy on here posted his dream and numbers 658 and 628 we're the two he seen . The first came to pass so let's see if 628 hits.
[+6] u/Relevant_Season4218: 830 initial unemployment numbers gonna kick the balls
[+6] u/Afraid_Deal_4376: Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica.
[+6] u/kodaksdad2020: I’m surprised we arnt down way more with a 10% crude move
[+6] u/SpringFuzzy: Oil is spiking, it would be a miracle if the US 10 year doesn’t continue its upward trajectory also.
[+6] u/AfraidAnalyst: Liberation Day: Iran Edition
[+6] u/WoodooRanger: If you think that this fake casino is bad, imagine that you have invested in a fake meat company
[+6] u/TraipseTraveller: Gey bers back from their 2 day vacation. Guh
[+6] u/Tasty-Coyote-9899: Can't imagine trying to start life now. Poor fookers. I thought trying to start a career during the 2008 crisis was tough...
Count your blessings
I pray for you summer children
[+6] u/Happy_Fly_7691: Bessent looking at his oil poots this morning. Laughing Spanish man.
[+6] u/aftherith: Bear sleeper cell waking up from depression naps and getting to use the zingers they had to delete the last 2 days
[+6] u/Gom_KBull: Please bro. Just 2-3 more weeks bro. It'll be over soon. I promise. Please bro. Please. Please.
[+6] u/Waythrowing04: UP DOWN UP DOWN UP DOWN UP DOWN
[+6] u/TraipseTraveller: This sub about to be extra regarded today. That's saying something
[+6] u/Spiritual-End7310: I expect a taco in the next 60 min
[+6] u/Blyrone__Blashinton: Remember when bols were so vibrant and full of life just hours ago?
[+6] u/whitehypeman: He could've taken responsibility and resigned, but no.
[+6] u/lonewolf210: Why did the market pump so much yesterday if it's going to dump this hard on Trump saying 2-3 more weeks when it was obvious that was always the case
[+6] u/amplaoumplasD: no crying in the casino please
[+6] u/Urzuck: Fake and gay, with oil at 111 stocks should be even lower.
[+6] u/beachsandwichen: If u come here to get advice it’s kinda like going to r/conservative for news…I would never know about noems husbands fake tits if I only got my news from there
[+6] u/sturgill_and_co: Why would you ever think the market is going up? Those were obvious dead cat bounce last 2 days
[+6] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: Imagine what it’s going to be like at 3:59 est
[+6] u/aftherith: More like brent rude
[+6] u/Money_Essay7793: Not gonna lie, tech stocks are not dumping enough
[+6] u/Bigamungus: Uh oh, ‘08 posting is starting, gonna be +3% knowing this sub
[+6] u/TyroneSwoopes: Uso absolutely fucking mooning. We gonna see $5 gas nationwide avg?
[+6] u/Fit-Guard-5063: When they annex parts of lebanon
[+5] u/EngineerDirector: Imma be honest with y’all… I hold shares and not once have I’ve been concerned about the market.
[+5] u/Particular-Cake-6430: Buying calls seems like a bad idea
[+5] u/PuzzledLeader8941: Holding these puts over the weekend 😋😋
[+5] u/Hongkongjai: I’m holding my shorts, but I’m afraid it’s going to be like tariff where it goes up on fake news more than it goes down on real news and I lose money + miss the pump.
[+5] u/Star_Lord924: 2026 is gay. Fuck this.
[+5] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: I havent slept for days because of options. Today will make or brake me. Yolo to valhala
[+5] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: I do have to say - destroying the world economy on Jesus day, the first economy hater in the world, is more than symbolic!
[+5] u/Who_is_Your_Zaddy: Morale will continue until the beating improves
[+5] u/Peeeeech: Send SPY back to the stone ages
[+5] u/trickponies: Put me back in the fucking Matrix bro it sucks out here.
[+5] u/HeavyArmsJin: Worst Aprils fool ever man
[+5] u/Retaining-Wall: Turns out the market wants deliverables when there's a primetime address.
Pikachu.gif
[+5] u/Due-Dirt-8428: What’s your favorite music to get you thru a horrible day?
Personally I’ll be listening to The Smiths all day. Specifically the song about hoping a double decker bus hits me and my lover so we die together. Feels appropriate
[+5] u/Impressive_Thing_299: How fitting that my portfolio dies this week.
[+5] u/MrT_IDontFeelSoGood: Gonna be a rough day for everything but oil and usd
[+5] u/Ready_Scratch_1902: can I try digging for oil in my backyard
[+5] u/GreatRegard: One bear market rally amd bulls came out of woodwork
700 bY ApRiL 🫠
[+5] u/ESEASMart: The DOW IS BARELY AT 46,000. You’re welcome!
[+5] u/astromouse2024: ‘War is over!!! But calls here!!’
Sure, and I’ll be the next ceo of Disney lol
[+5] u/spaurake: Though I totally get it, it seems a little radical to just embark on a rocket and leave earth because of mango.
[+5] u/AlarmedPelican: bulls r u ok?
!guh
[+5] u/PotatoCold154: Can you still buy stocks in the stone ages? 🙏
[+5] u/TwoNine13: Is that the titanic band I hear playing in the distance?
[+5] u/Pale-Fox8199: We breaking past 630 today ?
[+5] u/callsonreddit: Donald gonna say ceasefire. Why else would he hold a speech?
To talk about.. nothing new
[+5] u/Far-Requirement9180: Maybe the real gains were the “bool fuck Ber fuck” regards we met in WSB along the way lol
[+5] u/SpaceToaster: Holy shit stamps cost 78c now? Fuck that
[+5] u/ZealousidealSector19: Who wants to be long into the long weekend?
[+5] u/MeeseShoop: I guess the talk didn’t go well last night?
[+5] u/ContributorZero: Circuit breaker down ass day.
[+5] u/Redditfortheloss: Too many puts in here selling mine at open and buying calls.
[+5] u/TurtlePower8803: This'll bounce back up before open right? Right?
[+5] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: Every time I haven’t held my options till EOD I’ve missed out on huge money. I guarantee you I do it today and get steamrolled.
[+5] u/ybnesman3223: If the shit doesnt hit the fan real real after that wildly unhinged speech we will know how truly fake and truly gey the market is
[+5] u/Galactic777: I bought the dip but it keeps on dipping
[+5] u/WannabEngineer: Prepare for TACO tweet this afternoon.
[+5] u/Jumpinmycar: I’m old enough to remember 1 dollar junior bacon cheeseburgers and 4 dollar per gallon gas. It’s like the burgers have caught up thanks to the hard work of everyone here.
[+5] u/callsonreddit: Iran’s ex-foreign minister Kharazi ‘gravely wounded’ in attack on his home
[https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/4/2/irans-ex-foreign-minister-kharazi-gravely-wounded-in-attack-on-his-home](https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/4/2/irans-ex-foreign-minister-kharazi-gravely-wounded-in-attack-on-his-home)
[+5] u/astromouse2024: I mean, if you bought calls WHILE it was stupidly obvious nothing changed, then yeah this April fools prank is just for you 🫵
[+5] u/TessTickols: VIX might hit 30 today at this rate
[+5] u/TraipseTraveller: Way too early for this shit
[+5] u/HFB_To_You: Remember there were actually dumb fucks talking about starting oil shorts in here this week.
[+5] u/SSkilledJFK: In a functioning reality, leaders would tell their constituents how we got here, what we’re doing now to fix it, and how long it will take. Not generalizations. The scary thing is that this level obfuscating means we could have 0 clue how bad it might really be. Like, this admin ain’t going to come out and say shit is fucked, please prepare. Instead they’re playing dress up and working tirelessly for headlines.
[+5] u/Crazy-Bluejay4388: Not even that red, literally at yesterdays levels
[+5] u/NoBuyers: ~~Green by open.~~
Green by *strait* open.
[+5] u/Elegant-Berry5192: Small pump at open to fuk da bears, dump around 10:30 to fuk da bulls, theta to fuk us all for the rest of the day
[+5] u/2020isgreat: Oil up 10% retard:nah that speech was a giant nothing burger. You just weren't paying attention bucko
[+5] u/International_Bee653: Bols are eating humble pie rn
[+5] u/Happy_Fly_7691: He doesn't know what he's doing.
[+5] u/Bam2458: Well it ain’t gonna be a good Friday this year.
[+5] u/plzplzplztendies: #UH OH BUL IN TROUBLE
[+5] u/_Fibbles_: I swear they do these ridiculous premarket $10 god candles just to fuck the graph for the rest of day
[+5] u/Austin_Destroyer: USO and SPY rising simultaneously. Which one is the April fool?
[+5] u/2AMTrader: holy shit oil has no chill, were fucked.
[+5] u/starentbrett: Is this really just an episode of homeland that we’re in?
[+5] u/Unemployable1593: gm. shut up. drink water.
[+5] u/__nameless____: -1.5% is great, but more! please
[+5] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: Last night was pretty wild, wasn't it
[+5] u/sandygws: WTI now higher than Brent: $109.67 vs. $109.08.
[+5] u/Heavy-Imagination506: https://preview.redd.it/n60ewmagqrsg1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=fe00a8d65bc0eb44f8a0328d0239f0356c163cf0
[+5] u/afishinacar: I better see some gain posts after open. So many of you talking so confidently in hindsight that it was gonna drop let's see those positions.
Unless you sat out like everyone else because it could've went either way
[+5] u/4TheGhostCat: Look on the bright side, it should be much worse.
[+5] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: I'm getting the impression that the point of last night's speech was basically to be a fake catalyst for a market drill whose ACTUAL cause is the treasury standing down on oil manipulation
[+5] u/leeuwvanvlaanderen: 1 year’s worth of gains wiped out but at least I don’t pay for any of the gas I use #winning
[+5] u/Icommandyou: At least his speech removed that bizarre gap between Brent and WTI
[+5] u/knoqd_: WTI was 110 like 10 minutes ago wtf
[+5] u/hardcrepe: I’m impressed. It’s not down that badly right now. Was expecting worse. Winning 🏆
[+5] u/tandoori_taco_cat: Do you guys ever get that sense of impeding doom
[+5] u/Rosebunse: Yes, make it confusing because it's a symptom for heart attacks and a host of other very serious conditions. It's also a symptom for anxiety. It's also just an appropriate feeling for our current environment
[+5] u/Brawlerz16: It’s crazy USO even dipped as much as it did the last few days. There was NOTHING to suggest oil was fine lmao
[+5] u/Cold_Distribution273: They needed to pump the last 2 days to protect us from what's about to happen today.
[+5] u/HG21Reaper: USO really fucking me hard
[+5] u/UnknownNobodyNoOne: Good Friday is Now Great Friday
[+5] u/jay4281: No circuit breaker since Covid 6 years ago… gotta be due right?
[+5] u/Relevant_Season4218: Just 2 circuit breakers triggered is all we need for both sides. Bear make money and Bull load up
[+5] u/Just_Learned_This: Ok, who bought calls last night. Show yourselves.
[+21] u/YachtOrNothing: How is SPY not down 4%. Maybe after open
[+19] u/QuarkTheFerengi: sell my puts at open or dropping further?
upvote for market crash
downvote if you think we recover
[+19] u/FirstAccGotStolen: Oil going parabolic, good thing it's just a meme stonk and not an actual commodity that's the foundational manufacturing component for absolute necessities our entire society is built on.
[+18] u/Slow-Information-847: Whoever shorting oil yesterday, you really deserve it.
[+17] u/Autistic-Bot: Week 1. “We are gonna liberate the Oppressed Iranians…”
Week 7. “Fuck those Iranians. We are gonna bomb Iran into the stone ages…”
[+17] u/iTouchStuff: if my portfolio drops another 10%, im going to the next no kings protest
[+16] u/SpecialistB: still hasnt denied sucking bill
[+16] u/WeakPeak1015: https://preview.redd.it/rbdttugy5ssg1.png?width=640&format=png&auto=webp&s=cdb3ed4c409de6b200073e7c51244507202ec137
[+16] u/Newlife_40: Woke up. Made 800 off of crude in 10 seconds. Now back to sleep. Don’t be greedy
[+15] u/victoryboiiTCG: can’t believe the president rug pulled the bols lmao
[+15] u/ClarkFable: See you in 2.8 years
[+14] u/2muchnet42day: JUST HAD A GREAT TALK WITH MR IRAN. ALL IS COOL. STRAIGHT TO BE OPENED WITHIN MINUTES. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
SPY+4%
[+14] u/WarenBoffet: |Initial jobless claims|March 28|202,000|
|:-|:-|:-|
# Not cooked at all
[+14] u/jer72981m: Grab the strait by the p**sy. Just take it. And eventually it will open naturally
[+13] u/ReversalTheory: >Blue Owl quarterly Income fund and OTIC redemption requests reach 21.9% and 40.7%
Private credit a bigger risk than war and oil volatility lol
[+13] u/vSlickRick1: Market closed tomorrow we’re dropping hard today
[+13] u/Extension-Ad917: Can we just get a good dump like 4-5%. Its been a year and I just want to feel something.
[+13] u/Internal_Field5970: If you saw my port since February, you would just think I’m addicted to being retarded
[+12] u/leave_youself_behind: CASH GANG CHECKIN IN 💰
[+12] u/peterpeer9: I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like
[+12] u/ReversalTheory: >TESLA 1Q DELIVERIES 358,023, EST. 372,160
lol
https://preview.redd.it/s61gs8lczrsg1.png?width=678&format=png&auto=webp&s=b6f98749f9144f00eaf0e7061ed38943d94c3469
[+12] u/Standard-Top-5942: The year is 2026. Harris just wrapped up a Young Girls in STEM (free of pedos) in the Rose Garden (which isn't just a giant concrete slab) and the S&P is approaching 8,000 with all the AI hype. The nuclear agreement with Iran is put back and their enrichment stays below 3.67%. Not only is the US leading in AI, but they are also revolutionizing solar and battery technology that is sure to be part of the AI revolution. Trump is serving time for his 34 felony criminal count and he is no longer orange.
[+12] u/kerrykingzgo-T: Bers feasting today... good for you homos 🙏🏻
[+12] u/sm04d: Crude up 13% in 12 hours. Holy fucking shit.
[+12] u/Spy300: >POWELL: US FEDERAL BUDGET IS ON AN UNSUSTAINABLE PATH
✅️ Light middle east on fire
✅️ Triple energy prices
✅️ Invade and commit to lock it in
[+12] u/Sidney_Godsby: Oil at $113 and some of you regards still can’t wait to load up calls
[+12] u/SarcasticTrumpet: The sad part is alot of people called it yesterday, MMs knew it was a nothing burger of a speech but they used it as an excuse to destroy the sea of puts retail loaded, they're going to pump this too after they trap people early and then this afternoon we drill again
[+12] u/Avocadonot: 200% bagger on USO calls secured (+$7500)
[+12] u/Sad-Airman: PUTS PRINTING I LOVE BEING RIGHT LAST MONTH LOSSES ALMOST ERASED IN ONE DAY LOL 🌈🐻❤️❤️❤️❤️
[+12] u/jawndell: Why the fuck did we need to start a war with Iran???
[+11] u/TickTockTaudit: I’m having an awful lot of comments shadow pulled by mods or bots by simply mentioning a country’s name and intentions. Give you a hint. It’s not America. It’s not Iran.
[+11] u/cryptopolymath: I’m switching to day trading temperature futures on Polymarket
[+11] u/SKT_T1_eSports: My portfolio has been bombed back to the stone age for sure
[+11] u/duxaosm: Cant wait for the redacted report in 5 years that Trump learned he can manipulate the market on a daily basis and all his buttbros were in on calls and puts.
[+11] u/Xzlk: Yesterdays buyers kinda deserved to get cooked so this checks out
[+11] u/DatsMaPurse_IDKU: Looks like he can’t 🌮 his way out of this one 👀
[+11] u/Deep-Ad-8525: Uso 130c might retire me at this point. 10k deep, hopefully a 10 bagger.
[+11] u/Personal-Boss-7111: Closed doors for negotiations. No control over the Strait. More bombing for funsies. Fuck up the economy and inflation.
Incompetence and bratty behavior at its best. 🥭
[+11] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Crude is up 13% and spy is only down 1.5? Feels like it should be more
[+11] u/IRunFast24: God I'm going to panic sell so hard in 3 minutes.
[+11] u/Ok_Information_4137: Bro if oil was down this much we would have +5% spy day
[+11] u/Violent_Mud_Butt: After the absurd run up all week this should dump 5%
It won't. But it should
[+11] u/TheWizardOfFries: Anyone who says "massive V", "bear rug pull incoming", "SPY 660 EOD" is proof of America's failing public education system
[+11] u/DiscoStuTalkin2You: ohhhh so the moon mission yesterday ppl talking about is oil prices
[+11] u/Axonum: buls really thought HAHA
[+10] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: who is pooping RIGHT NOW 🙋♂️
[+10] u/Coley44: Oil going stratospheric the next nine months of life are going to be fucking awful 😍😍😍😍😍
[+10] u/Hairy-Priority7291: Why did I just get a 600 day streak badge but my port still red?
[+10] u/diamond12923: Oil just keeps going up
[+10] u/Red_V_Standing_By: Whelp, glad I held onto my full port of SPY puts…
[+10] u/bhaaaaaaa: Yesterday I was an April Fool for holding USO calls. Today I'm trying to figure out which house I want to buy.
[+10] u/GuyFieriFrostedTips: The market literally is looking to any prayer this war is over. Please open a book people. You don’t launch a massive military operation against a country like Iran and say “just kidding.” We’re in it for the long half buckarro…
[+10] u/Loud-Solution-6118: I ended yesterday super out of the money on TSLA puts and now I am super in the money. Holy TACO
[+10] u/spellbadgrammargood: If Trump did absolutely nothing for the past ~1.5 years, SPY would be like 800
[+10] u/TrumpChildOnahole: This shit should be - 5%
[+10] u/npdaly: My 401K is turning 401 🌈
[+9] u/Advanced_Divide_4641: We have the best economy 📉
Great time to buy 📉
53 ATH 📉📉📉
[+9] u/dybalapogba21: How many times do bers have to be right about these corrupt fake pumps before the point is taken?
[+9] u/Emergency_Froyo_3030: Just wrapped up the worst Quarter in 4 years. Let’s go for more 📉
[+9] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: “Market doesn’t care about oil prices” some of you are actually challenged
[+9] u/Sweaty-Survey-9804: Who the fuck is this Brent guy you guys keep talking about?
[+9] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: Almost feel bad for bulls but for two years they clowned on bears every day
[+9] u/SchwiftySchwifferson: Please stop Mr. President.
THIS IS TOO MUCH WINNING 😭 We’re tired of winning sir
[+9] u/Serious-Grapefruit20: Cant believe taco taco’d the taco
[+9] u/darkspherei: where'd all the buls go?
[+9] u/According-Page8618: we will close 655 gap today, everyone too bearish in here and everyone talking about buying puts
[+9] u/postachioo: 640 0DTE puts at open
[+9] u/Pazzaaaaaa: My puts would’ve printed so hard if I wasn’t scared of the mango but I’ve been burned too many times by him, I refuse to hold overnight anymore.
[+9] u/Tommyd023: Going to send robinhood a force majeure notice today.
[+9] u/ohshitski: you know, 🥭 was right after all. my puts have shrekd. i’m tired of winning
[+9] u/e30jawn: Might fuck around and short oil
[+9] u/pooterssssssssss: No one gonna be driving anywhere once $7/gallon gas hits in like 2 weeks
[+9] u/TheGoatBet: Egg prices are DOWN 60%
Has anyone said thank you?
[+9] u/No-Relationship8261: Only 1% down when oil up 12% bers u fuk
[+9] u/Appropriate_Sky_4509: I returned my tax return 😔
[+9] u/Ahthongkorkor: spy holding up suspiciously well while oil rips
[+9] u/Cstooby: Wait till a 🥭posts that "we WON, completely OBLITERATED everything, no one left, its all over" And the retarded market shoots back up and kills my puts.
[+9] u/rcantu314: Rumors that Tesla getting delisted
[+9] u/PlanSeekX01: Wow oil up 11% holy fuck japan getting short squeezed!
[+9] u/whydouhatemecablegod: this is why you never go full regard
[+8] u/NazgulSandwich: Jesus fucking christ they actually got oil short squeezed
[+8] u/Common_Ad_3059: Dam oil is $114/barrel
[+8] u/imaginarytrades: They’re eating the oil and tankers
[+8] u/One_Departure3407: If Dow stays sub 50,000 much longer we may need to revisit this “Epstein” issue
[+8] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: “right now the astronauts are calling houston because the computer on the spaceship is running two instances of microsoft outlook and they can't figure out why. nasa is about to remote into the computer”
LOL
[+8] u/MoMeanMugs: Boots have landed on my port.
[+8] u/humanoideric: Imagine buying calls monday at close and puts yesterday
[+8] u/Whoopziedaisy: Say it with me: circuit breaker
[+8] u/AdditionalMany1292: Don’t worry guys we only have 3 years left of this bullshit
[+8] u/mannycalls24: Don’t open the casino
[+8] u/AgitatedJump8459: Uh is this a dump for ants?
[+8] u/Time_Molasses_1581: 141 USO calls were a 110x
[+8] u/ihopethisworksfornow: WTI is above 110, if you don’t buy puts here you should just donate your port to charity before you lose it all.
[+8] u/Fhyzikz: USO at 138 is bananas lol
[+8] u/Comfortable-Rule-491: I didn’t buy the dip… I became the dip.
[+8] u/demonhunterking: Worse yet to come. Weekend military action boots on the ground is high. Remember it's good Friday!!!
[+8] u/Scalpaholic: C'mon SPY Circuit Breaker levels won't kill you if you're already dead inside.
[+8] u/big_chestnut: i nuked $1300 yesterday so I can bag an easy $300 today
[+8] u/nsfwnsfwnsfw33333: Jesus this shit will drop faster than a turd after a diddy party
[+8] u/Waiting4Reccession: Tesla miss on delivery again 🤡
[+7] u/Flat-Resolution905: How the fuck is US100 and US500 not literally dead when Crude is at 113$? amerika explain
[+7] u/Cashmoneytendies: The age of bol is over
[+7] u/Individual_Error_428: Oil moassing like a meme stock
[+7] u/SlaynArsewhole: Greek yogurt, banana, oatmeal, and black coffee. Every single day. I am one of the olds
[+7] u/ez399017: I’m so tired of this guy
[+7] u/chumbubbles: I feel like I’ve been training for this volatility for the last 3 years. It still takes regard strength though to stick to your guns 💪
Good luck boys hope you’re changing your life with these moves
[+7] u/FabulousLanguage6216: Can’t wait for today to be over so the “Black Monday” comments take over
[+7] u/dogefool88: Tesla failed on delivery numbers
[+7] u/Batukhan_cpn: Oil up 12% while nasdaq only down 2% lol dont buy calls here
[+7] u/rapidthrows523: Most predictable television betrayal of all time
[+7] u/enlightenedfarmboy: I didn't know crude oil futures were strapped to the back of the Artemis rocket
[+7] u/WingedScapula420: This chart looks great. Also, I have red-green color blindness.
[+7] u/Sad-Airman: DIE SPY DIE LMAOO PUTS WERE THE BEST DECISION I COULD HAVE MADE YESTERDAY THANK YOU LORD
[+7] u/Poor_Life-choices: Down down on a merry-go-round.
[+7] u/triwyn: does everyone feel liberated yet?
[+7] u/DealNormal8505: suicide hotline is going up today qqq -7% today incoming
[+7] u/mannycalls24: If you ain’t buying calls you ain’t black
[+7] u/GeoBro3649: Remember reports of cabinet members thinking WTI could hit 150 in the coming weeks? That appears to be accurate.
[+7] u/The_Real_Jafar: there will be boots on the ground. no way out of this mess
[+7] u/Time_Molasses_1581: Bols believe 🥭 when he speaks of Evil Geniuses referring to Iran
[+7] u/Ok_Dish1650: waaay too many puts here. lube up bers
[+7] u/Master-Stranger8908: Ever since 🥭 in charge I’ve been second guessing my plays & my damn self . This man is so unhinged. Sold my puts yesterday cause I didn’t want to hold anything even though I really wanted to hold. You jus never know which lie he’s gonna pull out his assssss
[+7] u/Fast-Steak-7730: Only thing going up today is oil, VIX and my port SPY500
[+7] u/h4bs22: Retail bought puts ? Pump it
[+7] u/Single-Adeptness-769: Already in puts and buying more dated next Friday. I’d love to be bull gang again but it just makes no sense. Especially because the mega rally the past few days we have so much room to go down.
[+7] u/Different_Being368: Jeez, watching a Patrick Boyle new video and the data he shows is just crazy. 6 billion people earning less than 32 usd per day.
[+7] u/yolo_astronaut: Everyone here yesterday: “LOL bers at Wendy’s”
Everyone today: “LOOOL fake green bols get rek how u not see this coming”
[+7] u/Time_Molasses_1581: USO to 150 by Monday morning after a weekend of killing people on Good Friday , holy Saturday and Easter?
[+7] u/EngineerTurnedQuant: I really put 70% of my roth in PUTS yesterday. I’m gonna be less poor at open today
[+7] u/Urinal_Zyn: Gonna have to do gay porn to get cash to buy the dip. My stage name? Brent Crude.
[+7] u/Tacosdonahue: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+7] u/DatOneBull: I can't believe how many people refuse to take their PLTR profits lol. It's over for that shit
[+7] u/cannythecat: Japan and America going bankrupt together when oil hits 200 a barrel from the biggest short squeeze in history LMAO 🤌
[+7] u/Snoo56029: SPY 440 coming right up 😢 sorry calls
[+6] u/qx2: Are the Boots on the island priced in?
[+6] u/tldamico: To you it's the end of the world. To me, it's just Thursday.
[+6] u/Boheed: I see fields of red
Red roses, too
Everything is red
Wow it's all red
[+6] u/Appropriate_Sky_4509: Wake up, son
You’re the man of the house now
[+6] u/Vaynard709: I had 131 USO calls that ended yesterday :(
[+6] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: Imagine being exit liquidity 😂
[+6] u/Shoganai_Hito: “A wise man once said nothing”
-NOT Trump.
[+6] u/ByahhByahh: I want to get off Mr Mango's Wild Ride
[+6] u/rottenfence: If you convince yourself you don’t care about money it’s not so bad
[+6] u/eoiioe: Coincidence? Rocket went to the moon and oil chasing the 🚀
[+6] u/J_da_CPA: We’re only 3 months into the year?
I’m tired boss
[+6] u/Individual_Error_428: This is the end…
Beautiful friend…
This is the end…
My only friend, the end…
Of our leveraged plans…
Of our margin calls…
Of everything that stood so tall…
The charts descend…
No support to defend…
No dip to buy, no trend to mend…
The end…
[+6] u/MichaelJamesBurry: HOLY OIL UNSTOPPABLE
[+6] u/Kowan: 🥭 sending us back to the stone ages
[+6] u/Rodriguezboy1: My calls are like the fucking challenger
[+6] u/QuarkTheFerengi: Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra
Temba, his cheeks clapped
[+6] u/Molten-Helldiver: I was promised a circuit breaker at open 😡
[+6] u/Motley843: Forgive my Spanish ... but what in the FUCK
[+6] u/Fast-Steak-7730: Largest Green Day 2 days ago of 2026
Largest red day today of 2026
Let’s make history!
[+6] u/zangor: every time there is a neutrino of good news the market goes up 3%. Huh I wonder what will happen in the long run.
[+6] u/Dude_HaHa: # I just want all of Mag7 to fall 99%
[+6] u/AideApprehensive7441: Oil is up 12% in a day with no visible relief plan and people in here think it’s a good dip buying opportunity lol
[+6] u/Devastaytah: Ah yes, we are pumping while Oil is at 112. 🤡🤡
[+6] u/rcantu314: Teslas YTD chart is pure cinema
[+6] u/ShortPossession8267: USO up 12%, calls are so fucked today
[+6] u/Impressive-Name5129: 30 min till the open and all through the house. Oil is booming.
[+6] u/mmjI: Holy fuck oil is ballistic
[+6] u/Capable-Simple4012: any bols still alive to see the market open?
[+6] u/R3dFiveStandingBye: Nothing like blasting Vietnam era rock while the market dumps
[+6] u/OrdinaryMix4013: irannn said hell naww we are not dealing with terrorirst!
[+6] u/bespoketrancheop: Im seeing essays on wsb which is how I know today could get dark
[+6] u/cbusoh66: Stop being a Panican
Bloomberg or WSJ will come out with some fake headline soon:
"Trump informs Aides to Prepare for a Post War Peace Framework"
SPY instantly V to +3%
[+6] u/RevisedPerspective: Man, should have bought oil instead of puts, why didn't anyone tell me!? Oh, all of you did? Hm.
[+6] u/lSazedl: Oil about to hit new highs
[+6] u/miata_only: I just wanted to tell you guys good luck. We're all counting on you.
[+6] u/Haunting_Note2444: I am fucked i am fucked i am fucked i am fucked
[+6] u/LarsTarkas: Boomers buying the dip will stop this from being dark red
[+6] u/spellbadgrammargood: Trump for the past month: The war is essentially over.
Bulls: You said that before but you know what, I believe you this time.
[+6] u/soapchewer2: I heard that peace talks are going well. These 670c about to print
[+6] u/LongHealth: Going to fill up my tank with discarded Wendy’s vegetable oil.
Just put the oil in the tank bro
[+6] u/YamRepresentative663: Guys i just planned a party this week because MU to the moon yesterday. Now i go back to Wendy's dumpster. I am crying in casino
[+5] u/kiwicanuck-: SPY 580 end of April
[+5] u/Bpallstar95: aaaand TSLA misses deliveries, back to $350
[+5] u/ten7four: Welp. I'm officially a bitch for never buying USO back at 105 when I kept thinking about it
[+5] u/SlaynArsewhole: My wrists are so gottdamm skinny, I'm embarrassed to wear short sleeved shirts
[+5] u/WalrusHonda: Crystal ball says fake pump
[+5] u/Mr_Doubtful: lol where are all the dip braggers the past 2 days
[+5] u/imacyco: Stock will go up just because
[+5] u/Academic_Hearing: is the comeback rally in the room with us?
[+5] u/shortgamegolfer: HARD MODE. This market is not for pussies.
[+5] u/therealnorthwild: Liberation Day one year ago today. Happy anniversary
[+5] u/Whoopziedaisy: Good luck today gamblers oops I mean investors!
[+5] u/Ok_Dish1650: Ber favorite term last month "strait of hamaz"
Ber favorite term this month "bootz on the ground"
[+5] u/Pale-Silver-8178: ber fuk to bul fuk all within 24 hours madness
[+5] u/rabidstoat: Stock market over 50,000 dollars!!!
[+5] u/Toys272: What a weak ass drop
[+5] u/PompeiiSketches: Cheeto fucked himself with that national address. Not sure if a TACO tweet will have any impact now.
[+5] u/Curious-Visual4525: WTI is not going to $150 it's going to 200+ CHANGE MY MIND!
[+5] u/Coogiez: Mr. Stark I don’t feel good
[+5] u/neverthy: Mango sneezes oil dumps 10%, wouldn't be surprised if it ends green
[+5] u/Pale-Silver-8178: Guys WTF is USO at ATH ? 140!!
[+5] u/Sweaty-Survey-9804: I’m so fucking tired of hearing boots on the ground.
[+5] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: Vaya con dios Retarditos
[+5] u/Whoopziedaisy: Who’s ready to get liberated
[+5] u/Financial-Kick7519: Instead of bunker busting bombs to try and blow up their tunnels why not just flood the holes with water? Everyone knows that it will collapse on top of them.
[+5] u/DatsMaPurse_IDKU: Look at oil. Calls about to get absolutely annihilated
[+5] u/mandoslambo: We need to allow corporations to own nuclear weapons
If McDonald’s feels like the Burger King across the street is deeply affecting sales I feel more confident as an investor, knowing they are willing to bring about nuclear Armageddon if it means a 1% increase in sales this quarter
[+5] u/Adome201: Lil sis just made her first 500 bucks on puts lol she already trading better than yall degens even me lol i though shit was gonna go up today
[+5] u/Aggressive_Bit_91: WTI higher than Brent? Hm
[+48] u/iAmGrimTV: If this shit swings back to -2% I'm gonna laugh my ass off
[+27] u/BeaverSack: Just accidentally spent $900,000,000 on a buy order. It was supposed to be $9. Oh well.
[+23] u/G0RD0N_CLARK: Dead Cat Bounce
Scam Pump
Stop Loss Hunting
Fraud
All of the Above
[+20] u/lemuever17: I officially give up. This market is unreasonable.
[+20] u/stopstockingme: This market makes zerooooooooooooooooo sense
[+18] u/YaLlegaHiperhumor: If this ends up green or neutral I'll jump out of a window
[+18] u/winkip: you know what.
I don't even know if im bol or ber anymore.
What the fuck is this market
[+17] u/dbd209: Oil up 13% and the market isn't even down 1% LOL. I have lost any and all hope of the stock market ever seeing a sustained downtrend again. Everyone in power and everyone of great financial means, has to keep the circus going, and they will never let it stop. If you buy calls that aren't weeklies, or dailies, you probably print on every single 2-5% drop we see. This has become such a joke.
[+17] u/shit_ape_from_hell: that is the gayest price action I have seen in 5 years of trading
[+17] u/AndThisGuyPeedOnIt: Oil up 8% and SPY trying to turn green, what a fucking scam.
[+16] u/1moist-towlette: *fake news on war ending* spy +3%
*potus announcement that war is not over and uso taking off like artemis II* spy -0.5%
[+16] u/ConstantSpace5809: The year is 2027. It now costs $80,000 to fill your gas tank. You sell one share of SPY to cover it.
[+16] u/zeren1ty: One of the most absurd moves I’ve seen during this whole circus
Absolutely unreal comedy
[+16] u/Dry_Bar_4965: I SHORTED at open
I SHORTED more at 10 am
I SHORTED MORE 10:30 am
FUCK THIS I'm going LONG now.
[+15] u/CharmingSoil: Big dip for a speech that said nothing new.
[+15] u/whitewashedsyrian: He sold his puts at a loss? Dump it.
[+15] u/Mindless-Sabrina: Orange man says something negative: market drops 2% over 3 days
Orange man says something positive: market pumps 2% over 3 minutes
[+15] u/jimbococker1287: I’m employed - wtf happened??
[+15] u/HonestScar7176: Literally insider knowledge or trading or something. Honestly the only logical explanation. We didn’t have to dump, but we most certainly should not be pumping.
[+15] u/sergechewbacca: SPY is behaving like a goddamn meme stock
[+14] u/QuartersToPlay: Buying puts and sleeping till 11am.
[+14] u/igotthis_man: Just straight up lmao
[+14] u/dbd209: America could start WW3 tomorrow, and the market would front run the ending of the war and for whatever reason limit up. The stock market will never again have a sustained dip ever again, and nobody can convince me otherwise. Up only.
[+14] u/CardiologistEqual336: If this ain’t market manipulation, you ain’t black
[+14] u/Snowman33001: I identify as a billionaire and I would like to be invited into the insider trading chat please.
thank you kindly
[+14] u/Cold_Hyena_6251: Placed 10 contracts on spy call, sat down to take an exam and got out of class 4k richer
[+14] u/DildoSchwaggins24: Where were you for the no reason pump of April 2026
[+13] u/Nova-JC: Oil +10% and spy -0.8% is so classic lol
[+13] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: dont know whats holding the market up, but, looking at fundamentals, the spy shouldnt be this high and will probably correct soon. oil is way above 100 now, the macro economic consequences are too substantial if this holds on
[+13] u/SpitefulSeagull: So market goes wildly up on his lies, then when the lies are demonstrated and oil goes crazy, the markets completely ignore it
Absolutely amazing state of delusion across the entire United States right now
[+13] u/CocaineFarmer1: No market manipulation here! I swear this is the most corrupted regime in the history of the world!
[+12] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: If only Europoors had the balls to fight their own war that we started.
[+12] u/NotEasyOne_Regard: This one is yours bers. You didn’t earned it but you received it. Take care and feast well.
https://preview.redd.it/z576kve48ssg1.jpeg?width=1153&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e773540bc411f23784c9d6ecfdd126553236dfa2
[+12] u/I_work_too_much: I literally work in oil (chemicals) and I'm tired of this shit. I'm getting notifications from vendors daily about 20, 30, 40, 50, 100%+ input cost shocks on raw materials practically daily. Look at the methanex index trend, usually it goes down going into warmer months.
I've had customer RFPs for large accounts pull out and delay the bid process due to volatility in the market.
The actual guys pulling oil out of the ground and selling it might be happy for a minute but the industry is a kicked anthill right now even in the US.
That said, I've worked in the business for 20+ years through a lot of bullshit and I will say we are used to it, and recover quickly once the fuckery stops, and it will stop. I've worked in the middle east extensively too...there will be an end to this trust me. Probably sooner than later.
[+12] u/NHLBro: Gotta be the most regarded pump I’ve ever seen
[+12] u/LURKER21D: keep telling myself not to even look before 1030. We just pumped yesterday cuz the war was over and now we're pumping today cuz it's back on for easter?
[+12] u/Yousoldmetohigh: Hobestly impressive pump when oil is up 11%.
[+12] u/warm-regard: Biggest dump in history about to happen
*in my toilet*
[+12] u/HonestScar7176: Going all in on puts here. Wish me luck
[+12] u/Yasqweenn: I bought my puts too early
[+12] u/IG_Triple_OG: I work at an institutional Brokerage and no one knows wtf is going on
[+12] u/Open_Waltz6902: Lol that ber trap was straight up disrespectful
[+12] u/Wakawifi101: As regarded as this pump is, it’s also hilarious
[+12] u/CafeClimbOtis: Market = irrational
Me = insolvent
So it goes
[+12] u/KeyTheNinja: What the fuck happened what headline did I miss
[+12] u/crashnbash25: I cant believe any of you are even trading right now. I blinked and we went from -2 open to reset
[+11] u/uwu_owo_whats_this: theyre gonna drop it in 7 mins
[+11] u/Successful_Doubt8632: Every day I see something even dumber that shocks me.
[+11] u/Purple_String_7169: uso at 137 and spy going up 😂
[+11] u/RjBloxks: We pump 5% on no news and dump .5% on horrible news
[+11] u/Playful-Sorbet5201: It’s been almost a year since I lost $100k on Tesla shorts, and I still hate you idiots for it. Every shitty quarter is a painful reminder of how you basement dwelling proletariat love to jestergoon the stock to stupid trading levels regardless of eroding fundamentals
Rant over, the customers are starting to line up for their frostys
[+11] u/BeingMe007: Looks like all these missiles hitting my portfolio instead of Iran.
[+11] u/Metzgama: So what’s the play? Just ride my puts (full port) to zero in the off chance I recover?
[+11] u/megaxanx: hold = get butt fucked for eternity until expire worthless
sell = automatic 12 foot green dildo into mars
[+11] u/PotentialBicycle7: pumping leading into a 3 day weekend with all this BS happening, classic
[+11] u/bandersnatch_97: Rage bought puts, Valhalla i’m coming
[+11] u/WSB-mods-are-: People that bought SPY puts this morning and planned to call out of work about to start the shift early
[+11] u/Mission-Swim-8746: Shits gunna jump off a cliff
[+11] u/syedhuda: WHY IS MARKET GOING UP? I HATE BULS SO MUCH
[+11] u/djklmnop: Cashed out at -45% on my puts. Because we are just so excited for high oil prices and a war with no ending.
[+11] u/Frosty-Pea-4577: Bulls be honest is a 1.2% recovery in the books after watching that shit show yesterday? Certainly not for me lol
[+10] u/AegonTheMeh: Boggleheads haven’t earned a single cent in total market ETFs since September.
[+10] u/TheMightySet69: The drill is the other way, SPY.
[+10] u/Phandomtrigger: I mean puts were too obvious there of course they gonna rug ya
[+10] u/Zestyclose_Phrase667: It’s going up to trick bulls don’t fall for it plz
[+10] u/Full_Cash6140: Are bulls really talking shit this morning? You didn't learn your lesson yet?
[+10] u/RomanJohnWick: This has to be exit liquidity setup
[+10] u/ConstantSpace5809: Fraud truly is an art form in America
[+10] u/PocaMadre69: Someone explain this like I’m regarded
Because it really just looks like manipulation
[+10] u/-medicalthrowaway-: 645📈650📉645📈650📉645📈650📉600
[+10] u/dontlikeyacutG: ill expose myself, yes i bought puts
go ahead, point and laugh
[+10] u/Loperenco: This is fucking insane. Fake news it will jump like 5%, real war prolonging and it drops 1.5% and then recovers the same day, this is shit.
QQQ biggest POS I had to endure
[+10] u/Full_Cash6140: Is there anybody more annoying than bulls? Seriously
[+10] u/Aggressive-Ad-2707: I was expecting a -3% lol
[+10] u/TheMightySet69: There must be some limit to the retardation. After a certain degree of retardation, the body cannot support basic life functions.
[+10] u/Rvin16: We are literally going to end up green fucking bullshit
[+10] u/legible_print: What happened? Did Iran join NATO?
[+10] u/Gothams_Bat: I looked away for a second and spy jumped 5$?
[+10] u/Fitzaroo: What the heck just happened?
[+10] u/xironically23: Best manipulation I've seen all week
[+10] u/CPA-hole: SPY trading like a penny stock
[+10] u/NHLBro: I may never financially recover from today
[+10] u/hey-coffee-eyes: Very natural, very normal movement
[+10] u/maengdaddy: What happened i was busy being employed
[+10] u/Mr_Compyuterhead: Why is the market so retarded?
[+10] u/gkdjsl: The market is faker than Kristi Noem's husband's tits
[+10] u/PocaMadre69: We really rallied 1.5% straight up
The fraud and manipulation just never ceases to amaze me
[+10] u/Squirr3I: Oil up 12%? Not a big deal. Oil dipping like $3? Time to go green.
[+10] u/verylevelheaded: Is spy now a crypto scam coin??
[+9] u/FrostingOk2692: I am on the Signal chat with the CEO of SPY and he said it is gonna be a 0% day somehow.
[+9] u/DegenGonnaDegen: 38% gain on puts. Immediately converted to VTI shares.
[+9] u/moazzam0: Oh you woke up expecting things to make sense!
[+9] u/Unable_Bat_3159: I hate this shit so much, this sub has ruined my life
[+9] u/BerryExpress: So what, we are pretending oil is not up 8%?
[+9] u/BreakingBadBones: What the hell, are we rallying again despite oil being ath during this war
[+9] u/Metzgama: Yeah I am absolutely cooked. I just keep throwing money away. I’m never going to make it. Tell my ancestors I’m sorry.
[+9] u/Jacobpapi: Why the fuck is this rally
[+9] u/Distinct_Chard3048: Bears are near extinction
[+9] u/wrongrobertpatrick: Get ready for a big ole rugging
[+9] u/Shibo1: Just straight fucking up after I sell
[+9] u/Semi-CharmedKindaGuy: lol I’m holding my puts through the long weekend. You just know 🥭 is gonna do something stupid.
[+9] u/Quick1711: This shit makes no fucking sense
[+9] u/BallsackTeabag: How is SPY not below 600
[+9] u/SamBankman_Grilled: Don’t let the price of oil distract you from the fact that in 2014 the U2 album Songs of Innocence was automatically added to your iTunes account
[+9] u/sanfranfan: That spy line is literally straight up
[+9] u/DroidArbiter: Scam candle of the century.
[+9] u/McClintockC: Bers flabberghasted, bamboozled, as market behaves irrationally for the 94th day in a row this year
[+9] u/Everythingisokey: What is this fucking shit??
[+9] u/isitdonethen: This pump was because of the news wire saying Iran/omar drafting a protocol for the strait? How is this news? They’ve talked about it, and the whole issue is that Western nations cannot accept such a thing, and this won’t end the war.
[+9] u/XorAndNot: yall may its time to stop playing with options.
[+9] u/phagebiscotti: Every friday for a month i sold my puts at open and switched to calls and got fucked. Finally i hold my puts and i get fucked. They always know exactly what i specifically do
[+9] u/HalaMadridPapaFlo: LMAO bers were expecting a -4.5% day today.
[+9] u/Andthesuch: 🥭 is sending my port back to the stone ages
[+9] u/Fit-Win-536: If it’s pumping now why did it ever dump in the first place wtf
[+9] u/SolidAndEdgy: Straight gambling out here recently
[+9] u/Lazy-Presence725: This is why I stopped doing 0DTEs lol. Lost a shitload of money. It’s all rigged
[+9] u/Andthesuch: Will boots on the ground be bullish?
[+9] u/scottyjetpax: lmfao what the fuck is going on??
[+9] u/WillTheGreat: Equities move on a headline, while oil didn’t even budge. Lmao peak retardism
[+9] u/CriticalAnt2057: Bragging or bitching aside....does anyone know whySPY is a meme stock right now?
[+9] u/GuwopGOAT: Don’t be greedy. We got bailed out with this giga pump,
[+9] u/WallStreetBetsCALLSS: Repeat after me
BERS
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[+9] u/vermilli21: Biggest scam candle I ever seen LMAO
[+9] u/gbgbgb1912: i think the market realized how beautiful the new ballroom is going to be.
[+9] u/sam4o19: Arguably one of the funnier weeks of market movement lol
[+8] u/ArkAngelEV: let me break it down for the long term smooth brains and new lurkers. You buy every fucking dip that ever occurs because assets are the ONLY thing that matters in this world.
Consider the small dip we suffered from a WORLDWIDE pandemic that killed millions. If that’s not enough to cause a -80% crash; nothing will.
2008 proved that the USA will NEVER allow a sustained crash ever again. People say entertainment is our major export to the world but i call HORSE 💩; our major export is the cheapest accessible way to own assets. They don’t even have to be real. Chew on that.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
[+8] u/sdubftw: This shit is going back down
[+8] u/Double_Anybody: I think it’s time to just stop trading and go with CDs
[+8] u/Most-Crazy2353: this fucking market man
[+8] u/EliteFortnite: has anyone heard of longer dated options perhaps a week or everyone 0dte up in here
[+8] u/TheMightySet69: Market is operating on extra chromosomes
[+8] u/cosmicoconuts: I’m not selling my puts the fries in the bag
[+8] u/Ecodriverz: Bro you cannot make this shit up. They parked it right at 0.00 on spy lol
[+8] u/Dangerous_Junket_773: Barron got his trades in. Wonder what the big announcement will be in the next 2 hrs.
[+8] u/GoZukkYourself: Sir, a second green candle has hit bers.
[+8] u/chiswis: it’s so over
boots in my ass
[+8] u/zuziannka: If you’re holding calls take profits that’s very obvious bull trap for us retail peasants
[+8] u/syedhuda: BULS R PISSIN ME OFF RN
[+8] u/CamOper: if you think we’re actually pumping and this isn’t a trap you deserve to lose money
[+8] u/Eddyrancid: This pump looks so fake to me, but I genuinely can't keep throwing money at this stupid fucking market
[+8] u/AndThisGuyPeedOnIt: 630 when we thought war wasn't over, 656 when we thought it was over, but 650 when we knew it wasn't over and things were only going to get worse.
Not falling for it MM.
[+8] u/Shah_Zam: Think im just gonna exit the market for a bit. This shit is wack. Makes no sense.
[+8] u/TheMightySet69: There's no way this pump holds
[+8] u/North-bound: HAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAA
POST THE HOTLINE FOR THE BEARS
[+8] u/PogRoss: Wellness check on all the bears celebrating last night
[+8] u/Admirable-Key2405: Sold my calls for 12.5k gain instead of a 107k gain classic 🙏
[+8] u/Key_Journalist_3698: Youve got to be kidding me. Oil is at oil time highs and you pump this much WTFFFFFFFF
[+8] u/Specialist-Sun-4751: Some real exit liquidity type shit
[+8] u/soa333: Bought USO calls, now it will crash.
I have single handedly saved global energy crisis
[+8] u/rootoo: I'm so confused. recently oil up = spy down. now oil up and spy up. what is going on?!
[+8] u/Viktri1: holy shit we actually went green LMAO
this is why I sold my puts after trump spoke (spx puts) and didn't bother holding, the fuck is this market
[+8] u/zweggi03: This shit is so retarded lol
[+8] u/vermilli21: Calls are up 70%..I’m fucking selling before this crashes
[+8] u/Dakhnas: manipulation is unreal
[+8] u/mixtape312: Someone help me understand why they're buying stocks into this mess
[+7] u/Eddyrancid: I'll say this much: idk wtf is going to happen
[+7] u/joeyeats: market decided to be rationale for a whole 10m last night, back to 🤡
[+7] u/StockB0Y: Is this market just blind or stupid or both
[+7] u/Jacobpapi: The manipulation from the MM must be ilegal, OIL going up, strait closed, war continues
[+7] u/GME_fan: If we end green I m gonna lose it
[+7] u/SpyBagholder: You’re a complete regard buying options in this market
[+7] u/Unhedged-Fund: "why is the market going up ??" this market has been a fucking pumping machine for 20 years you regarded bers. Energy drama is over soon, no boots on the ground, bottom is in, expect volatility and don't go long with 100x leverage like an idiot and you're ok.
Bonus : open some shorts at the tops while staying net long
[+7] u/Upset-Motor-2602: Sweet Jesus. Fucking Algorithms.
[+7] u/TacticalTackleBox: I made 15 dollars so far
[+7] u/SquidKid47: Holy shit I can't believe I randomly bought lotto calls when I saw it randomly ticking up this morning. +600% LMFAOOOOO
[+7] u/rollinhating: LOOOOOOOOL
>Tesla reports 358,000 first-quarter vehicle deliveries
[+7] u/Ok_Worldliness_2902: Don't you get it by now. He's gonna say 2 weeks for the 3 years.
[+7] u/Awesome____Sauce: there are legitimately people buying oil here LMAO
[+7] u/Any-Development5656: what the hell is going on
[+7] u/warm-regard: Why tf is it still going up LMAO
[+7] u/Capable-Yak-8486: Terrible speech last night, oil skyrocketing, no end in sight for Iran war, massive layoffs, price estimates of companies plummeting…spy green.
[+7] u/DefiantDelta: anyone buying deserves to get their shit pushed in
[+7] u/seanws30: Waiting for the rug pull
[+7] u/lookingforajob2020: got out of my spy calls at a loss and YOLOed 0dte puts when it hit 650, wish me luck
[+7] u/masterpkpk: Can i just make money once?
[+7] u/NotAFridge: oil 10% and markets bouncing. cool
[+7] u/PocaMadre69: Jesus Christ they’re still rallying this. Inhumane
[+7] u/dentwon: totally normal market behavior
[+7] u/memmolemmo: Lol this Oman/Iran toll booth news was weeks old. They're just rehashing older info as new info to manipulate markets.
[+7] u/Lapidated_Llama: We’re letting a crook make dictate the moves of the market and trade off said moves. And nothing is being done. Genuinely amazing.
[+6] u/PassiveF1st: Holding my puts with confidence.
[+6] u/PocaMadre69: USO is like most stocks right?? The higher the better???
140 looks good on USO, 150 might look better
[+6] u/Starkfault: Iran has 6 drones and a BB gun meanwhile America just sent people to the moon SPY to $800
[+6] u/bigmeatbag: 🌈🐻 getting rope a doped
[+6] u/GoZukkYourself: Permabers are the dumbest people on the planet.
[+6] u/GME_fan: Did the war stop or something?
[+6] u/killainvest: Who got puts at open
[+6] u/unevrkno: SPY 0DTE puts? I believe I will.
[+6] u/dylanx5150: I was promised circuit breakers.
[+6] u/StockB0Y: Wtf even going on at this point market don't give a fuck oil almost at 115
[+6] u/Successful_Doubt8632: You guys, we have to hit Max Stupid before we make the real move
[+6] u/ItInProg: holy fuck what is happening
[+6] u/Berning_Up_: I swear this market is propped up by Fox News Boomer hopium lol they want to believe daddy so bad
[+6] u/zNatural: Lmfao holy shit so retarded
[+6] u/Affectionate_Fly7659: Just in: Straight of HORMUZ came out ghey
[+6] u/jasherer: does the stone age mean nukes?
[+5] u/Force_Hammer: If any day should have a circuit breaker day, it's today!
[+5] u/parallelogramm3r: If you make $1 a day in the market, it will only take you 3,984 years to hit $1M
[+5] u/Philmanguy: Rip just got destroyed on my spy puts. Don’t understand how it rips like this. RIP me
[+5] u/iWolfeeelol: perma bulls are really out in force rn.
[+5] u/LemonRomeo: It will be a double rug pull today
[+22] u/dash_trash4255: Oil up 10% and market green 🤡
[+20] u/7fingersDeep: SPY fighting to stay green is absolutely fucking hilarious. The fact that it's even green today is mind boggling.
[+20] u/Tini-: You know when someone is about to die they get a sudden burst of life and vitality? Yeah that’s the market right now 😂
[+17] u/gigilero: spy up, oil up, vix up - lolll this shit is moronic
[+16] u/TechnologyEven6926: Very tough market tbh
[+16] u/amanj41: Didn’t cash out my puts when up 5k. Didn’t cash out my calls when they came back from the dead and hit breakeven. -1k for the day fucking wow
[+16] u/hubblebubble7: People used to share the news here, now the sub is totally worthless
[+16] u/Pizzapimento: Pump happened because iran and oman are drafting conditions to reopen the strait. I bet my left arm that neither the US or Israel will agree to any of those conditions
[+16] u/Secret-Ruin-9075: Oil up 10% and Spy flat on the day is a sight to behold
[+16] u/bbbyismymommy: Oil mooning Stocks Not moving. This Market IS so fake
[+15] u/Samjabr: Good lord - I don't think my left mouse button clicking finger can keep up with these algos
[+15] u/solariac: This tone of thread is so different from two hours ago.
[+15] u/AdjustDeezNutz: I guess my prayers were answered.
Calls were up 200% and didn't sell until I was down 50%. Then my lotto calls I bought yesterday that were dead in the water at 1 cent was resurrected by Jesus into 30 cents. Port is now +1.15%
https://preview.redd.it/deko6qfdmssg1.png?width=900&format=png&auto=webp&s=253f0f20123625ea54ed3ecaf0706c193aaab8b3
[+15] u/ZGiSH: Beside the war, I think with tech going flat, high inflation, no job growth, and no rate cuts, it's time for some new ATHs
[+15] u/bigbluesongbird: buy puts = market goes up inexplicably
buy calls = market goes down inexplicably
hedge both ways = market stays flat inexplicably
pull port into cash = dollar value decreases
cannot stop winning.
[+14] u/luka_b412: Wait, so we pumped because the algorithms picked up a header from a Bloomberg article?
[+14] u/aphel_ion: Why are there a bunch of fresh news stories being pumped out about how Iran is letting ships through and charging a toll?
We’ve already known they’ve been doing this for weeks.
https://thehill.com/policy/international/5799516-iran-strait-of-hormuz-ship-passage/amp/
[+14] u/Xs2experience: Today would have been better if I died in my sleep last night
[+14] u/Low-Win-6691: Imagine being a Tesla investor
[+13] u/Disc0Disc0Disc0: I mean whether you're a bear or a bull, you have to admit that some nefarious is going on with the market. How did we just recover almost 2% on no news (unless I missed it)?
[+13] u/wyudtix: You’re gonna get fukd in this market, it don’t matter if you’re Bol or Ber
[+13] u/JellyfishFestival: One of the most bizarre rallies I have seen in a decade of active trading.
I never dreamed I would see a day where oil was up over 10% and IWM was leading the charge upward.
[+12] u/broke_person: Sorry guys it was me. I accidentally submitted a $690 million buy order on Spy haha
[+12] u/Highway_Song: Boots on the ground tomorrow after market close.
[+12] u/CompoteSpecialist618: # Help is available
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[+12] u/sytena10: BREAKING: Donny appoints Kid Rock as Atty General
[+12] u/uncsucks: Oil up 10%, SPX flat. Make it make sense
[+12] u/Happy-Champion1661: # BERS BLEW A HUGE LEAD TODAY LMAO 🤌
ok tbf this market is so manipulated, both bols and bers just randomly get fuk for no reason
ARREST ALL OF THEM
[+12] u/CompoteSpecialist618: This pump literally ruined my day, and possibly entire weekend.
[+11] u/RareGuarantee3532: Maybe just a squeez before the true fall ? I mean oil is +10% we must be serious here
[+11] u/rioferdy838: So let me get this straight.
We’ve lifted sanctions on Russia selling oil. Which pretty much has enriched Putin and will sustain his war efforts for years to come.
We’ve also managed to embolden Iran into being able to control the strait of Hormuz. Something they didn’t realize they could do until now. So in turn, they are probably going to draft monetary agreements with countries to allow oil to flow through to them. Thereby enrich Iran as well.
All the while our allies in Japan, Korea, Philippines etc. are all going to suffer from a lack of oil deliveries? Or at the very least having to pay far higher prices.
[+11] u/grimandnordic1: Too chicken for calls and not gay enough for puts
Guess I'll just die
[+11] u/throwawaydonaldinho: This is the single most dangerous weekend to hold anything in to.
Powerplant ultimatum expiring Monday.
Iran drafting Hormuz plan with Oman.
Long weekend with boots expected for Uranium extraction.
SPY could be 700 or 500 monday.
[+11] u/Resilience_Technique: Oil up 10%? Iran attacks Amazon data centre? War in Iran keeps escalating? Pamp it! What a fkin clown market. MMs all deserve jail times
[+11] u/Horcsogg: An Iran-Oman toll booth? That's what mango achieved? Letting Iranians toll all ships? hahaha
[+11] u/bakeonwakeup: this is the lamest shit
[+10] u/Ihateporn2020: I would predict continuous bleed today. Monday will probably be pretty red with more weekend stewing. The wildcard is what Trump actually does with his april 6 extension.
[+10] u/TimeOnTargetKilo: I made $600 today. I’m out
[+10] u/enc-nyc: At least this administration provides free geography lessons: now all retards here know where Greenland is, Venezuela and strait of Hormuz. Interesting to see what other toponyms are coming along.
[+10] u/saw-it: Algos just combing tweets and news sites for anything with Hormuz in it. They don't even care about context anymore.
[+10] u/MordorBlues: Nothing makes sense yet. Cash.
[+10] u/Basic-Kale3169: Guys, sell EVERYTHING and buy as many cows as you can fit in your apartment. This is serious.
Here's the DD:
* You get daily dividends in the form of milk
* Inflation proof and hedge against volatility. Ever seen a cow drop 40% in value overnight?
* Built-in diversification: one cow gives you dairy, leather, fertilizer, and is a great replacement when your wife will leave you
* The ultimate exit strategy: Your stocks will go down to zero and make you hungry, but the cow will at least give you dinner when it goes to zero.
* Tax advantages: You can declare yourself as a farmer and benefit from generous tax advantage.
[+10] u/skychief99: The news was: "Iran and Oman drafting protocol to ‘monitor’ Hormuz Strait traffic".
This is a big nothing burger.
Apparently the computers which read the news and automatically trade upon it aren't that smart.
Expect a monster sell-off later.
[+10] u/nthnreallymatters: its literally never gonna go more than -2-3% in a day ever again
macro is shit, layoffs, inflation, war etc etc. and the market is green
[+10] u/burnerAccountDuh24: The algos ability to pump it like that on purely nothing is keeping this whole thing afloat
[+9] u/Jupitersd2017: What the actual fuck, I think we’ve reached peak delusion oil and spy up. Noted
[+9] u/SundayAMFN: the real winners are the ones having the most fun
[+9] u/Issa_vibe74: My worst case scenario for today was SPY 655 and whatya know
[+9] u/BazInTheOrangeRanger: Who wants to be the exit liquidity 🙋🏻♂️
[+9] u/broke_person: If we end the day down less than -1% I call that a big win for bools 🤣🧑🩰
[+9] u/MrForever_Alone69: The pump was because of a headline, lmao not even involving the US “Iran and Oman Draft Hormuz Strait Passage Agreement” source Binance
[+9] u/Jdom666: whispering in her ear that the strait of hormuz will open naturally
[+9] u/Prayaa: It’s clear even algos are confused.
[+9] u/Level10Retard: Remember the days when trillion dollar companies didn't move 3% up and down every hour for no reason?
[+9] u/XstraCrispy: My buddy in the marine core just got deployed so kinda doubt US is gonna withdraw over the weekend (ALL IN PUTS) 💀
[+9] u/kantargi: Who bought puts at opening? Please confess now
[+9] u/nordik1: announces war is continuing
everything pumps to ATH
wat
[+9] u/Technical-Emu-32: Jesus died for THIS?!?!
[+9] u/Slow-Astronaut-2135: This is the pump before the boots announcement. Orange and co had to get their positions in line beforehand. Bookmark this!
[+9] u/bearhunter429: #Apparently last night some TV channels showed Alzheimer's medicine commercials as soon as his speech was finished LMAO🤌
[+9] u/polosocks12345: I’m a gambling man. Puts. SPY 640 EOD.
[+9] u/csekseni1: It’s gonna dump vix didn’t even feel the pump
[+9] u/Today-: insane 1% move in 3 minutes followed by the most boring range trading ever
[+9] u/ring_of_slattern: What if they're never up?
[+8] u/Left-Signature-5250: JFC I can't take this 'geh bear' and 'bol fuk' shit anymore. Are there only 12 year olds on here?! WTF - just fucking talk it into a plastic bag and leave at least SOME room for discussion here (even retarded ones).
I dont give a shit about your constant gloating, does not matter which "side" (how stupid are you even to take sides?)
[+8] u/DCrebuilds: Gonna gap down to the mornings lows me thinks
[+8] u/bigboybigbat: Wtf is going on? Did he tweet? Did Iran say yes? Did he taco? Or is the market just pumping cause that’s its default state
[+8] u/Buschman11: Well I'm done trading until this clown is out of office fuckkkkkk spreads man
[+8] u/DramaticDirection292: Since when did a 12%single day jump in oil after a 60% jump in oil over 2 months become bullish
[+8] u/CoolConfusion3606: The market isn't real. It's not traded on real material things that exist in the world. It's simply a financial tool used to extract value from people betting with calls and puts. Stop. It's designed for you to lose.
[+8] u/nyc-for-lyfe: israel says it will not join the u.s in ground operations. we have become operation meat shield
[https://www.middleeastmonitor.com/20260331-israel-says-it-will-not-join-any-us-ground-operation-in-iran/](https://www.middleeastmonitor.com/20260331-israel-says-it-will-not-join-any-us-ground-operation-in-iran/)
[+8] u/TERRAIN_PULL_UP_: I go down with my ship
[+8] u/Jdom666: a few years back i started throwing tiny rocks at the moon in my backyard. a few days later i realised i was probably hitting houses across the street
[+8] u/whodey84: Bulls are gonna be doing an Easter egg hunt for enriched uranium this weekend.
[+8] u/Invincilble: we out here trading against clankers and we think we're gonna win
[+8] u/Technicaltrades404: We need to stop calling them algos. Theyre dorks that manipulate markets off fake headlines.
[+8] u/Historical_Cover8133: I'm in utter disbelief. With oil at these levels - we should be -2% on SPX. It must be a technical, algo-driven rally for reasons beyond my comprehension.
[+8] u/ima_badfriend: Fake pump or real pump. That is the question
[+7] u/1x1equal2: Who knows at this point
[+7] u/DramaticDirection292: The pump is probably Trumps whole cabinet and family buying everything up before he makes a tweet
[+7] u/Unlucky252: The rug was promised 3000 years ago
[+7] u/EconomyJust4589: is this my last chance to sell all my shit
[+7] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: Thank you WSB for loading up on puts this morning, and causing the rally
[+7] u/diefy7321: Bers literally fumbled at the 10 yard line lmfaooooo
[+7] u/sunshine20005: How is oil at 108 and SPY flat
Lol nothing makes sense
[+7] u/bosco2110: Theres a better chance of God coming back to earth today than a new HOD
[+7] u/Naewind: Trump was correct, market too strong and will ignore reality forever.
[+7] u/jerm2z: When circus breaker?
[+7] u/zestykite: oil dumping too. wtf.
[+7] u/rioferdy838: I haven’t seen shit move like this since the Covid days lol
[+7] u/sanndman: This may be a put buying opportunity. Long weekend coming. Yahoo stating only half of targets hit so far. This war will rage on regardless of hormuz deal with Oman.
[+7] u/Philthatman: THATS IT, SPY 645 0DTE PUTS ALL IN
[+6] u/LeftBullTesty: !banbet SPY 639.69 1d
[+6] u/haihaihaihaihaihai1: who bought puts at the bottom!!!! SHOW YOURSELVES HAHA
[+6] u/Spiritual-Sleep-7300: I yoloed into it yesterday only to gain it all today
[+6] u/darthjarhead: So the war is escalating, oil goes through the roof, and those are good for the economy?
Maybe someone can tell me what they think is going on here. And please, speak as you might to young child, or a golden retriever. It wasn’t brains that got me here I can assure you of that.
[+6] u/SergeantThreat: TSLA is just another 40% drop or so from being incredibly overpriced
[+6] u/ScytherDOTA: TIMBERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
[+6] u/Chlo-Motion: Top 3 regarded things in the world:
3) Me
2) 🥭
1) The market
[+6] u/rand_walking_charts: Did anything actually happen? Or this is regular Thursday now???
[+17] u/trumpdiego: ##So we are pumping... on the thesis that Mango may be right... and that the straight may just open itself? Am I hearing that correctly?
[+17] u/absolutxtr: I dunno who need to hear this but:
IRAN IS NOT LETTING OIL THROUGH FOR ANY AMOUNT OF $. NOT UNLESS IT'S GOING TO CHINA OR SOMEWHERE "FRIENDLY" TO THEM.
[+17] u/AphexPin: 9:30EST: +$10k
12:30EST: -$1k
I am straight flabbergasted at how fake and gay this market is behaving.
[+16] u/1111thatsfiveones: There's absolutely no way this doesn't dump by close, right?
[+15] u/absolutxtr: ok so my read on the situation is this:
\- pyjama traders (rightfully) took "the strait is gonna open up itself" as regardium. oil fucked.
\- meanwhile, the algos today are just eating that shit up as an actual solution. who cares about may oil price? july + futes don't look too bad.
Mangoo genius. She guna open up all by herself as soon as the "leave in 2-3 weeks". (/s)
Go get your oil, folks!
This market is regarded.
[+15] u/bubbasnub: Not asking for much just a THREE PERCENT DROP on SPY.
No biggie
[+15] u/anaphiamusic: Just fyi you blow up bridges when you’re about to invade
[+14] u/KindlyTie6602: So strait will open itself up naturally? Seems like we may need to give it 3 wine coolers first.
[+14] u/Sea_Condition_6999: Apparently oil being up only 10% instead of 13% is extremely bullish
[+14] u/pickledmagahead: Holding over night so I can sell first thing tomorrow morning.
[+14] u/Salty-Bid1597: Oil is telling a very different story to the rest of the market.
I don't like this. Something's off.
[+14] u/Triedtoshort: I can’t wait for Dune in theaters.
[+13] u/Mysterious_Ad6637: This is so fraudulent
[+13] u/Think_Currency_8586: Love playing option for volatility and then spy just gets pinned at 0%
[+13] u/jakeisarake: Fuck your calls and your puts
[+13] u/neal_73: I have never seen anything like this before.
[+13] u/mikehoochie1234: Traded consistently for 2 months making solid gains. This was the first day I woke up and full ported 0dte puts…
[+13] u/musomania: Too many people had puts. Market pumping til they expire worthless then dump.
[+12] u/aqjingson: U can really make it in this market with $500 and a dream
[+12] u/EasySunday: If today doesn't teach you thats its all vibe trading and technicals are a soft excuse to hide the fact that its gambling....then you are lost.
I am lost.
[+12] u/1111thatsfiveones: I've just come up with the stupidest (and therefore most likely) next step.
Tomorrow (Good Friday) the ground invasion starts. Markets are closed. Easter Sunday Mango declares victory (regardless of reality on the ground) and compares it to Christ rising again after three days.
[+12] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Just dump it already so I can buy the dip
[+12] u/Dulmut: why is spy edging itself with the dump?
[+12] u/Rosella2562: Tf is happening today lol
[+11] u/Just_Celebration9890: Any way spy drops $20? My dad is going to ground me
[+11] u/nolanjp: Bought puts at open, sold at a major loss then bought calls at the top and now I'm going to zero..
[+11] u/shmito17: This is quite possibly the funniest trading day lol
[+11] u/justarandumthrowaway: A selloff would be too obvious, so I should buy calls 🤔 but they know that I’d think that it’d be obvious and buy calls, so I should inverse and buy puts…but they’d know I’d inverse the inverse….so I should inverse that inverse of the inverse and buy calls??
[+11] u/Ecomonist: Mango bombs Iran "back to the stone age". Claims victory. Says Iran dead. 3-days later Iran returns out of a cave. Iran the new Jesus, inshallah.
[+11] u/Opening_Normal: Oil up 12%, market flat ... sure. Makes sense.
[+11] u/Think_Currency_8586: Jumped 2% in like the span of 30 min and now we’ve essentially done nothing for like 3 hours
[+11] u/pen15_club_admin: Bolz think a timeshare is a good investment
[+11] u/The_Zhevlakov: I have never seen anything as manipulated as this
[+10] u/MaybeYesMayb: EOD dump because who the fuck is going to hold over The Weeknd lol
[+10] u/Paul_Robert_: Why don't they just pour water into the oil barrels, just like the shampoo bottle in the shower? Are they stupid?
[+10] u/Krotitel_Viliam: This shit gonna get rugged no ?
[+10] u/lessoninprogress: Whatever you do, DO NOT USE LOGIC WHEN TRADING. always imagine what would be the most regarded thing it will do and always go with that side. Or just flip a coin.
[+10] u/Alwaysfavoriteasian: Did I make money today? No, but am I up for the year? Also, no.
[+10] u/kinkyhentai69: Looks like oil prices dont affect companies
[+10] u/vodkasniffer: Problem right now is some group of people in power in Iran badly want to see financial panic in world markets, and US is going to keep the markets steady.. with VIX so high only an idiot will open large option positions at this point completely ignoring the theta decay
[+10] u/Pereise1: So oil casually up 3% from the low and all we get is theta?
[+10] u/natalie_merchant_fan: I'm still not over that pump.
[+10] u/KachThebest69: getting theta fucked feels bad man
[+10] u/Proton404x: ugh just put gas in, went from paying $60 for a full to $95. I fill up twice a week. Fuckin hell. BEST FUCKING ECONOMY
[+10] u/xXFoxyGrandpaXx: We’re literally a fucking laughing stock
[+9] u/bb483: Seeing a contract you sold lose value after is a feeling like no other
[+9] u/LongroddMcHugendong: I’m sure we sent a third carrier group, two MEUs, and the 82nd Airborne to the Middle East for no reason in particular
[+9] u/shmito17: Imagine if this goes back to opening price lol
[+9] u/shmito17: Every big spike is to the upside
[+9] u/strip_club_dj: With Pam Bondi fired does that mean the curse on the dow is lifted?
[+9] u/Ok_Importance9886: its ironic how oil is up 10% and tesla is down 4%
[+9] u/KindlyTie6602: Don’t stress out about it. Whatever you do you’ll lose money anyways.
[+9] u/Me-Regarded: Why is the market closed for a rabbit that lays colored eggs?
[+9] u/Think_Currency_8586: It’s sad because I have 0Dte for today puts. And I bet Monday we crash after terrible job reports and continued oil nonsense.
[+9] u/Empland: #Always short the bottom and long the top!
💎 💎💎
[+9] u/Powerful_Mission_655: I am surprised stocks are even holding with oil over 110 🤣
[+9] u/Legitimate-Ant6838: Don’t tell me we gonna fall all the way down man this market so manipulated
[+9] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Lost out on so much money not selling all my puts at open. Thank God i sold half at least
[+9] u/CompleteChemical4198: love how every red candle ends up with a gargantuan bottom wick and is followed by green
[+9] u/natures3: Lmao this trading environment makes me want to seppuku. I go long, shit tanks, I sell. Then it moons right back. This is impossible. The last time this happened was late 2021 when I just rage quit everything.
[+9] u/Thedarkpersona: This market feels like a cancer patient desperately clinging onto any fucking snake oil product that is shown to them, hoping against hope that this one will cure said cancer.
[+8] u/encore333: Every drop bought in seconds. Wtf
[+8] u/RisingToMediocrity: I don’t want to alarm anyone, but I’m up 37.5% this year. I’ve never had a green year before.
[+8] u/NewNewark: Oil is up 10% why arent my puts printing
[+8] u/fredditf: https://preview.redd.it/rfpq0awotssg1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac2c7e235b8d2e8c67bcd345099390a3642920fd
[+8] u/Borria1: First time trading an option, put it on my watchlist watched it go up 111%, bought for real and got out after losing half in 45 minutes. I'm ready for the big leagues.
[+8] u/Competitive_Lion_379: it's either going to rip or dump.
[+8] u/Social-EXperience: At now WTI price $111. But spy is solid lol
[+7] u/tsunamiwaves_: What in the actual fuck is this market
[+7] u/Itchy-Insurance2834: Should have listened to that guy from yesterday telling us not to trade today
[+7] u/Wrath_FMA: Fuck me man. Was up 25% today. Finally sold my puts and end at +1%
[+22] u/Careless-Pen8895: Upvote if you hate mango and MMs
[+18] u/Best_Sherbert_9481: Well gg boys, lost 90% of my port ~22k today, I’m officially ruined and can’t play in the fraudulent market, see yall in the next life
[+17] u/ImLemonized: Can someone explain how market is flat when oil is up over 10%?
[+16] u/Mediocre_Pangolin572: Man this is the type of shit that motivates people to become terrorists.
[+16] u/pineapplekiwipen: Pam Bondi's removal means dow is now free to fly above 50k 🌝
[+15] u/LordCorgi: Amazon says they are adding a 3.5% fuel surcharge to their shipping services because they expect the price of gas to continue to rise. = market sleep
Rumor that Oman and Iran will use two plastic cups and a string to manage traffic in the Strait = 🤑💚🤑💚🤑💚🤑
[+14] u/Senpai_Slime: Bro im just gonna sell everything and go put it on black at a roulette table, at least that doesn't feel like bullshit when I lose
[+14] u/shindiggaa: I accidentally went all in on olive oil futures
[+13] u/Local-Bid5365: Who is the CEO of SPY I need to talk to them
[+12] u/Paper_Clip100: "Economists say the outlook for the U.S. economy is now a lot worse than just two weeks ago"
Stock Market brrrrrrt
[+12] u/Normal_Tap3021: Where is the -2% dump i was promised 3000 years ago
[+12] u/vanceraa: fired bondi for calling the top
[+12] u/bringkiteback: I bet I can cum way faster than yall
[+12] u/c_c76: How has nothing moved for 3 fucking hours
[+11] u/Perfectly_Splendid89: Iran cannot surrender because their people will eat anyone in the regime alive for what they have done in the past 50 years.
USA cannot surrender because it would be the biggest loss in its history.
So oil will eventually go to 200.
[+11] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: BREAKING: Pam Bondi FIRED
[+11] u/Leading-Future6691: There is gonna be epic dump in next 30 min
[+11] u/ZenithPrime: What is the market seeing? Wtf am I missing here
[+11] u/doctorqaz: Am I only the one think this is a fake green as oil continuing to pump?
[+11] u/Queasy_Soil9646: Bondi can be the next cramer
[+11] u/No-Can-80085: I shouldve cash out at $1200 proft now im down $5,500
[+10] u/Tillfatfire: So many salty bers in this chat i see
[+10] u/thewaterb0yyyy: I love watching the brown nosing sycophants get fired
[+10] u/pineapplekiwipen: # BREAKING: PAM BONDI TO TAKE OVER AS MAD MONEY HOST FOLLOWING JIM CRAMER
[+10] u/trix_is_for_kids: I always say it’s the sign of a great business man when he constantly fires his management
[+9] u/NativePlant870: 🫵🏼 YOU are exit liquidity
[+9] u/wbradford00: This market is fake I give up
[+9] u/FunInteraction9796: maybe i should get a job
[+9] u/Shoddy_Vegetable4268: Since we are flat I’ll go ahead journal here instead. Putting in my 2 weeks tomorrow. Taking a 30k pay cut but get to be fully remote instead of 5 days in office and do more interesting work
[+9] u/FunInteraction9796: dump soon? anyone holding over the weekend is insane
[+9] u/FraternalBat: Actually still cracking up at the guy who posted his 640 0DTE puts last night saying he couldn't wait for morning and thought he was guaranteed money LMAO
[+8] u/Massive-Assistant387: This isn't a conviction Rally, this is mechanical. Market Makers are short covering into a 3 day weekend. Once that evaporates in a few hours, we'll see where the actual market thesis lives.
[+8] u/Weak_Emu3659: # The rent money is gone in 20 minutes and I am sitting in my car crying
[+8] u/WhoLickedMyDumpling: I better chance hitting the lotto than this bullshit
[+8] u/FunInteraction9796: doing this on no news and +12% oil reeks of manipulation but ok bro
[+8] u/iamnottheabyss: Is this the reason for the pump?
https://www.cnbc.com/2026/04/02/iran-war-oman-hormuz-strait.html
[+8] u/Icy-Leave-9111: Oil sky-high, semis flying…
The market really out here saying "we’ll just run everything on chips and hope for the best”
[+8] u/OkAlternative7705: 4th rejection email of the day FUCKKKK THIS SHIT, BURN THIS THING DOWN
[+8] u/bimb0sattva: recession canceled apparently
[+8] u/Spicyboi981: Elon manipulating stock = legal
Gov manipulation stock = legal
You buying one option on the public company you work for = prison
[+7] u/freshoffdablock69: OIL UP 8% IS BULLISH
[+7] u/LongCucumber3710: We’re ripping because the weekends are so safe and predictable
[+7] u/DiamondHands667: Fuck guys I really hit rock bottom. Lost a ton of money, single for 6 years, no friends, stuck in a dead end I.T. job, struggling with addiction. I’m cooked 😭
[+7] u/PositiveToe2761: I think I’ve run out of “it’s a learning experience” excuses for my losses
[+7] u/Appropriate-Lunch217: My theory is they have locked the real Jim Cramer in a soundproof box somewhere. Without him to inverse, the market is in flux. It can pick no direction. It can make no signal. Until He returns.
[+6] u/Broad-Clue-8428: With this final market manipulation I think it might be time to say goodbye friends. I wish you luck!
[+6] u/Shishlaps_doe: What if this a is a huge liquidity sweep before the long weekend sell off?
[+16] u/OpportunityPretty: Shame on us all for allowing the idiocracy to get to this point. Bleak
[+15] u/GuyFaulks77: I can’t believe oil is up 11.5% and spy is flat LOL
[+13] u/Regardium-Leviosa: Stocks holding this level is defying all rationality
[+12] u/SilentExtinction: The fuel you had in your car probably gained more value than your port today, regard.
[+12] u/TheDrewWorldOrder: Oil pumping and QQQ pumping at the same time is the most retarded thing the market could do, so of course it's going to do exactly that.
[+11] u/Anonymustafar: Why is the market not collapsing with USO absolutely ripping on ground invasion likelihood
[+11] u/RevolutionaryAge47: My company is prepping HUGE layoffs. I have to let go of at least 40% of my team.
[+10] u/ChampionshipOdd947: It's 1973-1974. Inflation is hot and the price of oil even hotter. The OAPEC oil embargo pushes crude oil from $3 to 12$. The S&P 500 drops 48% over the course of 22 months.
Anyways, SPY 700 EOD
[+10] u/DanqueLeChay: If you trade today, expect fuckery, fake outs and traps both ways. Big dogs positioning
[+10] u/Foooour: ALWAYS BET AGAINST WSB
[+9] u/somecleverphrase: World's oldest known tortoise, Jonathan, still alive despite reports of death. Green the rest of the quarter.
[+9] u/melkitzedek: pretty sure Kanye West would have been a better president
[+9] u/n1ck90z: I call that basically green
[+9] u/Severe-Tangerine891: they're selling everything to retail while keeping the price steady, panic and sell everything, this wont last
[+9] u/EnginrA: My balls are all tangled in my underwear, the boys are getting twisted every which way
[+8] u/cakestocks: I got a half day off from work so ya know what, I’m getting ice cream and taking a nap and looking at the markets Monday.
Fuk bols and bers. All hail oil
[+8] u/Extension-Extreme523: calling it now, we're all in hell and Christ is not returning on Easter
next week is for the bears
[+8] u/ThermalChaser: I hear you but she had a silly laugh
[+8] u/Flat-Focus7966: Was a Perma bull. Not anymore. 40% in cash is better than 40% down...
Also don't despise bears anymore. They take more risks than bulls
[+8] u/warrenfuckitt: Buddy posts on truthsocial a video destroying a bridge so we surge. How patriotic🇺🇸
[+8] u/Scar1203: Well, they're nuking all the puts, wonder if it's going to flip and take out all the calls?
[+8] u/Kind-Recognition4528: Just fucking dump! Ffs
[+8] u/softboiledjadepotato: Oil up and SPY stays, oil dips ever so slightly and SPY jumps. I f\*cking hate this
[+8] u/WrexyWrex: For those who want to really understand something that this administration can't seem to grasp
# no volatility expansion means no bottom
this will be prolonged low volatility meltdown where even hedges won't work.
There is no V when there is no vol expansion. That's the rub here people need to focus on.
So for those who think this is a manufactured drop like in April of last year that did have vol expansion, this isn't the same. You can taco on tariffs, you can't taco this.
[+7] u/ALittleWorseEveryday: “Drafting protocol with Oman?” Sounds like “concepts of a plan” The fuck does that even mean besides my puts are fucked
[+7] u/beerstearns: Yesterday I was a bear. Today I am a bull. Tomorrow I will be a broke bum bitch.
[+7] u/deeeflooo: How in the fuck is this happening
[+7] u/whitepug: Algos scraping for "deal" and "ceasefire" and the like are genuinely retarded
[+7] u/Kind-Recognition4528: Last chance to buy puts
[+7] u/sharkenleo: It's been a rough week for bears.
[+24] u/A55BAG: Just checked my port:
https://preview.redd.it/pr9p76hartsg1.png?width=1388&format=png&auto=webp&s=4c7d6a85cabf4f8343cdde347c3e2cdf015c873f
[+22] u/Valkorion335786: So apparently, Israelis are reportedly using air-raid sirens as an excuse to leave restaurants without paying, and restaurant owners and industry groups are complaining about this abuse.
LMAO WHAT
[+18] u/Thegreenpatriot: Absolutely normal SPY price action today nothing to see here
[+17] u/Efficient_Policy_176: I have concluded the market is a stage and we're the clowns.
[+16] u/Glittering_Let6527: Today's the most outraging day in a few years at least for me. Gosh I'm about to get a stroke and then fucking stand up and rope myself with half paralyzed body with this motherfucking bullshit, fuck this. Need to touch sfucking grass. Fuck. Piece of shit.
[+15] u/silverbulls8: CUT MY STOCKS IN TO PIECES
[+15] u/voidedhip: Fuck it 5k in Spx puts here
[+14] u/ComfortableWolf779: they are going for a ground invasion, don’t believe anything 🥭says
[+14] u/narwalfarts: Houthis making an announcement soon. If they close the red sea, us bers are gonna have a good power hour.
[+14] u/Independent_Term5790: Crude up to 115 and spy closing green would be peak fuckery
[+14] u/Killersax: Oil and SPY both being up is fucking witchcraft. Who the fuck is manipulating this casino
[+14] u/Iamhappilyconfused: Glad I did not trade today, this is some peak fuckery going on, a perk of being an europoor is I can start drinking at a socially acceptable time near market close.
[+14] u/Embarrassed-Past-756: I have FULL ported into 0 DTE 653 puts. Last trading hour will either make or break my account.
[+13] u/puts_every_day: So oil is going to climbe to $150 and spy is like "whatever "?
[+12] u/TrueDoge007: Day 300 of this quagmire. USO is now trading at 300. Spy is still pinned at 655.
[+12] u/conoremc: If there's one thing I've learned from all this malarkey, a lot of you fine gentlemen don't know the difference between strait and straight
[+12] u/yushey__: Markets super gay today
[+12] u/KeyEmu7694: YEMEN'S ARMED FORCES TO ISSUE IMPORTANT STATEMENT AT 2:40 PM ET
Red Sea is getting closed, isn't it
[+12] u/PlayFree_Bird: Lol, SPY trading sideways into the weekend as oil spikes 10%? Give me a break with this fake shit.
[+12] u/krieger123456: Oh the irony. Some asshole is using my 401k money to tank my puts.
[+12] u/probably-ck: If SPY goes down the same way it went up, we'd have the silhouette of Bart Simpson in the daily chart.
[+12] u/Sad-Substance8684: Oil price irrelevant to most in here cuz soon a lot of you will be acquiring a bike for commute to work (Wendy’s)
[+11] u/Necessary-Lychee-486: This is an all time scam from Wall Street. Absolutely brutal. How are they propping this up?
[+11] u/Majestic-Eggplant639: of course its rigged, yall think the big boys stay up all night wondering if they're going to lose their money?
[+11] u/DeadLightsOut: Oil up 12%? Three day weekend? Pending Invasion? Biblically prophecy ?
What could go wrong!?
[+11] u/YardElectronic5722: The divergence between oil and stocks is too big. One of them is wrong (and its stocks)
[+11] u/Infinite-Meet: who in their right mind is holding into a 3-day weekend?
[+11] u/arbitraryBlue: Pam Bondi? More like Pam Gondi (I'm fucking high rn lol)
[+11] u/weewoowewoooo: The fuck is this flat bullshit lmfaooo
[+11] u/TurbulentAdvice521: SOUR HOUR IS COMING BABYY AND MY PUTS WILL REINCARNATE 🐻💯💥‼️
[+10] u/A55BAG: Bols, today you can exit without wounds.
[+10] u/Mediocre-Till-3924: Lost 500 bucks today. Down all time about 20K. :(
[+10] u/Thegreenpatriot: Oil up almost 7% and SPY up, truly regarded market.
[+10] u/I-CAN-DO-EAT: Someone explain oil at $111 and spy tryna go green?
[+10] u/DeHunter_54: Who in the SoCal area and wanna grab drinks
[+10] u/sglocalguy: Whatever happens today, market will be flat tomorrow I promise.
[+10] u/thedosi: This is going to dump at 3:45 right when Robinhood locks everyone out of options...
[+10] u/Valkorion335786: SPY 670c for Monday
it's the most ridiculous thing i can think of
[+10] u/lithe_silhouette: Learned today not to do 0dtes ever again. Even if you get the direction right if it's not fast enough the decay is brutal
[+9] u/PROMlSED: Breaking even on 0DTEs after being down bigly feels like a win. We take those
[+8] u/tikimandude: Dawg Iran could get in on this market manipulation: Listen to mango trying to TACO, load up on cheap puts, strike a refinery, profit -> funnel money back into war effort.
[+8] u/Efficient-Rabbit-751: Volume today is low. Fake pump.
[+8] u/PlayFree_Bird: Holding anything over the weekend is straight up gambling. Literally, go to the casino and get better odds.
[+8] u/AcerVentus: Ground invasion aside.
Bers r fuk.
[+8] u/Dull_Principle2761: How can any of you trust your hard earned money to a market that is this illogical and moves so dramatically on a tweet, speech, headline, where one dude can wipe out months of savings just by proclaiming “Iran is fuk”….ya’ll crazy
[+8] u/TheScourgeOfHumanity: Send them back to the queens of the stone age
[+8] u/Glass_Item_4968: I miss those meme pictures this sub used to have
[+8] u/cowboycookie1337: Oil not flinching in this equity bounce, this is window dressing before the ground invasion starts tomorrow
[+8] u/iDahves: Seriously what is propping this shit up
[+7] u/JonAce: Believe it or not, theta.
[+7] u/SoloOutdoor: They could just replace all this with math.random()
[+7] u/NarpRocks: 650 rejected for the ~~4th~~ 5th time now
[+7] u/Air3s: This jackass addressed the union just to manipulate the stock market. This is levels of evil (and comedy) that doesn't even exist in cartoons 😂
[+7] u/Independent_Term5790: 150 bps up swing in two hours after a 400 up two day upswing, when oil is up 10%.
Straight up retarted
[+7] u/HaveTwoBananas: Boots on the ground, boots on the ground, looking like a fool with your boots on the ground
[+7] u/tastyfreeeze69: This is literally retarded
[+6] u/Andromeda_0507: I finally turned into ber and this what happens
[+26] u/epyonxero: well, if the market can ignore oil spiking 11% i dont know what its going to take
[+18] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: 54 million volume and oil above +10% what the fuck was spy doin today lmao
[+18] u/seimow: How in the fuck is oil up 10% and we’re green today. I’m so lost
[+17] u/Mr-Bonnet: 🚓🚓🚨🚨
WEE WOOO WEE WWOOO
🚓🚓🚨🚨
ITS THE ROBINHOOD POLICE
COME TO FORCE CLOSE YOUR 0DTE 🚓🚓🚨🚨
[+15] u/maplessbastard: Today has made me lose any faith in the American currency/economy.
[+15] u/jovi_1986: Im not the smartest man alive... fact is im retarded .... yet even i know this is messed up
[+14] u/Bofa12313: Shits flatter then Taylor Swifts ass
[+14] u/Sober_Alcoholic_: Absolute fucking masterclass by MMs today ensuring anyone who bought dailies got theta’d to fucking death.
[+14] u/spudbro00: watch oil drop like 3% Monday after going up 10% today and the market rally 2% on the news. Absolute joke
[+14] u/illicit_FROG: Is there a bot campaign about how attractive bondi is. I'd rather fuck a raw chicken carcass, get off the internet you degenerates
[+14] u/tnecniv2021: I’m calling ground invasion announcement in the very near future.
[+14] u/Soffatjockis: Oil +11.3%
Spy green
WHAT HOW WHY WTF IS GOING ON LOUD NOISES!
[+14] u/Intelligent-Claim193: Who didn’t sell there puts at open ? Me ! Me! Was up 6k now down 4 grand that’s like half my portfolio fuck
[+13] u/averagenoodle: “Everyone will sell because noone wants to hold over the weekend” is this sub’s midwife’s tale
[+12] u/NeedToMakeMoneyz: Crazy part is that the dump will happen after hours.
[+12] u/UrbanMeijer: Fake ass pump before the ground invasion this weekend
[+11] u/Pro-Tip810: We gonna go flat for 6 hours while oil goes up 10% before a 3 day weekend aren’t we?
[+11] u/UndisputedLoll: Welp, now I can finally dissociate and drink lmao
[+11] u/bonkers69: It's not like we really use oil for anything
[+11] u/PopularCut4124: Fuck this hope Iran destroys the world lol
[+11] u/FearlessStatement144: How the hell are they buying into close.
[+11] u/botistic: Fake ass boring market
[+10] u/Fire-Lion6: Every escalation in the war is bullish because that means there's one less escalation that we need to worry about
[+10] u/Mr-Bonnet: HEAVY INSIDER ACTIVITY INSIDE MY PANTS
[+10] u/StandardDot5115: days like this really show
bears have to be unusually lucky to make money
even in the middle of a downturn
[+10] u/iGotStuckIn: The mods sit on vibrators as they judge your comments.
[+10] u/Far-Sherbert-8634: im holding these puts over weekends then fuck u
[+10] u/w33dw1zard420: “Why is the market-“
Fraud. Scams. They are laughing at you
[+10] u/assgoblin96: I don’t usually cry manipulation, but nothing about today’s price action looked natural
[+10] u/potato111a: BERS PRAYING FOR PUTS ON THE GROUND OVER THE 3 DAYS WEEKEND LMAO 🤌
[+9] u/PhysInstrumentalist: It's a short squeeze, these greedy assholes couldn't let it fall just one day this week. The pump from this morning is already a failed bull flag, it should have kept pumping by now if this was legit.
[+9] u/f0xinaround: The code today is calls, puts, calls, puts, puts
[+9] u/carloslink250: What the Facken shit, today was the day I was gonna make my money back. AND THIS SHIT WENT UP. WHY IS IT NOT GOING DOWN WONT GAS BE LIKE 7 DOLLARS SOON. IF OIL IS UP WHY IS SILVER AND GOLD NOT CRASHING ATLEAST
Cmon snap just go below 4.50, atleast let my .01 puts print a dollar
[+9] u/ResidentPack4103: WHY ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT PAM BONDI WHEN THE DOW IS AT 50K
[+7] u/Bignutly: For the love of the game?
[+14] u/YouDontKnowDino: Turns out bondi was what was holding the market down lmao
[+12] u/TheSeeker331: Can someone tell me why oil is up so much today but all the oil stocks are down? 🗿
[+12] u/Ziqach: Taking the L but good god, logic is out the window
[+10] u/freekerosene: Riding 4/10 650Ps for next week, who else got some puts?
[+10] u/NationalMedia8201: I fear the market is retard maxing
[+10] u/sonofalando: The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay 🌈
[+10] u/Rock_Flaccid: I'm supposed to believe MMs are buying at these prices before a 3 day weekend given current circumstances?
[+10] u/Smuvmuniz: This is gonna dump right?
[+9] u/Neither_Bank_5396: At this point nuke goes off -2%, then end up +3%. Unreal.
[+9] u/Reasonable_Roger: power hour to kill those 657p's, you heard it here first.
[+9] u/darth_scion: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? I AM!
[+8] u/cow_grass: Holy flat day. MM destroying everyone
[+8] u/Necessary-Damage3349: MMs really want me to paper hand these puts
[+8] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: The stock market might not have totally crashed, but my wallet sure has, between my gas cost, grocery bill, medical insurance bill, rent, and my work cutting hours.
I should have just bought puts against my wallet.
[+8] u/TheOldRamDangle: A lot of Bols pissing their pants last night and into the morning. How many miracle come backs can you have? It’s going to be a long weekend you fucks
PS I am bisexual and made a little today with short calls. But come on….
[+8] u/Immediate_Type4095: Im all in on puts expiring monday, this could be the end of my run
[+8] u/Administrative-Ant75: bers fell for it again lmao
[+8] u/SearchUsual5193: Genuine question: What are these pumps about?
[+7] u/Dr_Vibe_Check: Brotha no way we keep rallying. What is this? Some kind of steel bull run?? 🤔
[+7] u/studybreak15: I just keep buying SPY puts because idk what else to do