▶ Full Post Text
[+59] u/RemarkableVictory990: Puts on men ages 18-25
[+58] u/nemo_hoesss: Puts here for the boots on ground speech
[+50] u/sailortyx56: Iran won’t close the Strait
Iran better open the Strait
Iran has 2 days to open the Strait
Iran has a week to open the Strait
NATO, open the Strait
I’ll bomb your critical infrastructure if Strait isn’t opened
I don’t care about the Strait
No ceasefire till Strait is open
Waiting for what version we get tonight.
[+46] u/Spezalt4: Wars over. Ignore the explosions
[+33] u/MadHat0815: This seems like a preemptive justification Video from Rubio... I hope I'm wrong but it's looking BAD.
[https://x.com/WhiteHouse/status/2039077626489303096](https://x.com/WhiteHouse/status/2039077626489303096)
[+30] u/PositiveToe2761: “Yeah I’d like to bet $1000 on options”. Did you want to pick buy or sell? “Nope just take it”
[+29] u/ConsiderationKey1658: Tonight will be 5 minutes about how we’ve won in Iran, followed by 47 minutes about the ballroom, followed by 2 more hours of unintelligible rambling. Don’t waste your time.
[+27] u/ResearcherSad9357: Polymarket account that bet 500k before first ground strike is now betting 800k on ground invasion, buckle your gamerchair seatbelts everyone
[+27] u/smart_doge: Number of wars: 1
Number of victories declared: 5
[+24] u/Puzzleheaded_Tie5967: Liberation day part II.
[+24] u/RisingToMediocrity: The War with Iran is over. We only do peaceful bombings now.
[+22] u/Educational-Cat-2553: mad respect for every degen holding positions over this night
[+22] u/QuartersToPlay: Thank me when your puts print. And if they don't, idk why you're listening to a regard. Thats on you. But if they print, youre welcome.
[+22] u/PositiveToe2761: Incoming : “We didn’t want to do this, I didn’t want to do this, but we have no choice. We’re going to respond very strongly. We’re sending in ground troops, the best in the world and they are going to take care of the situation very quickly. And frankly our allies haven’t stepped up so we’re doing it”
[+22] u/deevee12: Let’s be real he’s not announcing land invasion on a fucking Wednesday night
That’s for tomorrow at the start of the long weekend
[+22] u/SpecialistB: BREAKING : Sources outside of the house confirms Erica Kirk grieving world tour, dates to be announced at 9PM
[+21] u/unikuenobody: Can't lie. Loaded on hella 1dte puts after 3 green days. No dd, pure degen vibes. We ride at dawn.
[+20] u/JaraxxusPS4: Surely after hours announcements on a Wednesday are bullish
[+19] u/No_Relief_8705: Bols: 🥭 speech disappointing
Bers: 🥭 speech disappointing
[+19] u/cakestocks: Is erika Kirk performing acrobatics at tonight’s speech or is she done grieving?
[+17] u/Fhyzikz: Everyone ready for SPY 610 tomorrow?
[+16] u/tripstermcgee808: BREAKING: DraftKings selected by the Pentagon to administer the US draft and hinted at integration with prediction markets.
[+16] u/kairepaire: Let's be honest, it will be a dissapointment of an announcement
[+15] u/timburgessthis: Watch this be a repeat of last year
[+15] u/No_Statement_6635: 1) He will claim accomplishment of the “crystal clear original goal” which will be the first time any of us have heard this goal
2) will say the US won, the war is over
3) the next steps are a “post war aggressive ground invasion”
4) straight of Hormuz is 100% open and good to go (as long as you like explosions)
[+15] u/RemarkableVictory990: They took his ballroom away and you think he isn't going to put boots on the ground?
[+15] u/JPenniman: I won’t be watching him during this 9 pm thing regardless. He is like an energy vampire but for human intelligence.
[+15] u/MothRatten: I'm just gonna be refreshing this chat tonight. Last time I tried watching that fucker speak I had it muted with auto subs and it just made him seem even more retarded.
Not worth watching him pucker that facial ass-pussy for an hour just trying to discern actual information from his repetitive sundowning gibberish.
[+15] u/SpecialistB: the announcement : "We just deployed Barron equipped with a palantir-powered mech suit."
Operation is already successful but a timeline of 4-10 weeks
[+15] u/ir1shman: Bear trap? Straight is still closed and 🥭 is trying to walk away from the war? What happens this weekend when we go boots on the ground balls deep into Iran? I’m so confused lol
[+14] u/Snoo-90587: 9pm will be positive news followed by a truth post about boots on the ground and then a press release of no need war over
[+14] u/2020isgreat: Do people think we're moving marines and military assets to the middle east for fun
[+14] u/Autistic-Bot: https://preview.redd.it/7rwa803e0nsg1.jpeg?width=1132&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7dd85126e3f77fcd75b1262011512415ab3c0c90
[+14] u/RemarkableVictory990: This feels like liberation day all over again how exciting
[+14] u/Soffatjockis: The movement of equipment was the best predictor before the war that something was about to happen.
Since then, more and more ships and troops has been sent to the region. Yesterday another carrier, today more A10s.
This, to me, does look like another phase of escalation is about to happen regardless of what the mango says. He only lies to pump the market.
[+14] u/PositiveToe2761: You mean the market could go up or down? Phenomenal insight
[+13] u/lysergalien: Hegseth only went along with this because he thought 🥭 said booze on the ground
[+13] u/HARCYB-throwaway: Trump April fools show at 9pm. Should be a banger
[+13] u/Heavenisaplace176: I reckon he’ll thank China! Throw shit on us Aussies and English and French folk. He’ll thank Vance and China for his ceasefire and thank himself for winning this historical epic fury
[+13] u/patmccock86: I AM EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE SUPREME LEADER DONNY T NFT's, AVAILABLE FOR DOWNLOAD TONIGHT
[+13] u/OG_L0c: I just had sex!
>!April Fools, bitches! I'm still a 37 year old virgin!<
[+13] u/Far-Requirement9180: My small plays turn into +500% gains and big bets send me Wendy’s, tale as old as time lol
[+13] u/abroadbroadband: Constantly threatening our own allies, buncha wars, not actually resolving anything
I'd say mission accomplished, right fellas?
[+13] u/TarrifJacksonJr: Americans have been sheltered from the energy crisis that's sweeping Asia and Europe
Leaders across the globe are preparing their people for a supply shock while Americans get gaslit by war propaganda and victory speeches
This won't end will.
[+13] u/UnivalveX: - 🥭: they're begging me to surrender, but I won't
- SPY: +1%
[+13] u/Shreeder: Invest in a company that makes boots
[+13] u/VisualMod: I didn't find any tickers for whatever the hell you just typed.
[+12] u/dooosayn: Imagine a market that moved based on earnings or technical analysis 🤣
[+12] u/astromouse2024: Gatta give the bulls credit, yesterday and today they staged an absolutely beautiful comeback rally
Bears will quickly regain control for the next leg down and we’ll see 629 next week
[+12] u/thewaterb0yyyy: Holding onto fake meat shares is mental illness and you can’t change my mind
[+12] u/CreamyBehemoth: If spy goes to $915 tomorrow I’ll be a millionaire
[+12] u/Happy-Champion1661: "GOOGL stock surges nearly 4% as investors realize the company is actually good (shocking)"
[+12] u/Urzuck: Prediction for tonight:
\-rant about the ballroom
\-rant about european freeloaders
\-threatening to shoot himself in the foot and leave Nato
\-nuke some random country
[+12] u/rdblaw: Imagine being in the army and having to take a direct command from a regard that might actually get you killed
[+12] u/trumpdiego: ##he's going to say the wars over to our faces and then go boots on the ground on Friday isnt he?
[+12] u/GoZukkYourself: #BEARS LMFAO
^^^^^^^Sorry, ^^^^^^^just ^^^^^^^practicing ^^^^^^^for ^^^^^^^9 ^^^^^^^PM
[+11] u/MagJack: He is gonna announce he is the bestest president ever, has stopped 23 wars including 5 that havent started, saved 47 trillion from our potential debt, and float the idea of president for life.
[+11] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Congrats to all call buyers who caught that rip. Congrats to all put buyers who caught that dip. I assume most everyone else got fucked
[+11] u/Time_Molasses_1581: I need a -4% day to make money tomorrow and the funny thing is it might happen
[+11] u/McKoijion: If Trump sounds anything like he did on Friday, prepare for a bloodbath tomorrow.
[+11] u/RemarkableVictory990: Why aren't we sending up hotter astronauts what will the aliens think about us
[+11] u/mrmagootoyou2: When Artemis makes it to the moon, I wouldn't blame them if they just say fuck it and deuce out of this system
[+11] u/VOO_bull_forever: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+11] u/cakestocks: Do you think I can find beachfront Hormuz properties on Zillow.
[+11] u/bringkiteback: Iran has a chance to do the funniest thing tonight
[+10] u/Cold_Distribution273: Is tonight's announcement one final pump of the market before Armageddon or does he have the balls to announce the ground assault in coordination with the UAE?
[+10] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Well I lost 30% of my port today. That sucked
[+10] u/Medical-Tune676: I'm a bear, but after these last two days, it's hard to believe the market will suddenly come to its senses tomorrow.
[+10] u/BiggieMoe01: SPY 630p. Marines in strip clubs were telling strippers they are deploying to Iran.
Source I am the stripper
[+10] u/TheMallard1: I AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT ALL MAGIC CARPETS TO BE MADE IN THE USA
[+10] u/isolated-cat: don't you love it when a random ghost wick just appears to trigger your SL and then immediately goes back to the same price
[+10] u/Actual_Difference617: Its so weird seeing Iran acting like it has always been a very peaceful country.
[+10] u/Robodr0ne: I feel like it's April Fools day... every day since inauguration.
[+10] u/MonkeysOnTypewriter: Let me help you out. Whatever 🥭says, MSFT will keep dumping.
Sincerely,
Regarded slop bag holder
[+10] u/Tigulla_SRT24: how many of you regards got puts for tomorrow....
[+10] u/brute-forced: Most corruption the USA has ever seen in its history
[+10] u/Fit-Win-536: I’m American not Israeli
[+9] u/Jarlaxle_rigged_it: TRUMP TO DECLARE LARGE TREMENDOUS WORLD PEACE
[+9] u/Red_White_Brew: Buy the roomer, sell the news. Holding puts into this.
[+9] u/SlyCooper007: Everything felt a little less gay and a little less fake with Sleepy Joe.
[+9] u/AgeMiddle854: "We're leaving NATO"
SPY to 750 for some reason
[+9] u/cakestocks: Someone enroll in NYU and become boyfriends with Barron pls
[+9] u/HistorianMuch8963: If you were the president of Iran, you would not publish a letter like this right before a ceasefire.
You would publish it right before a ground invasion, so the world would be more likely to antagonize the invader even more.
at least that's the rationnal my brain find to justify going full port in 1dte puts.
[+9] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: 100% probability Hegseth is getting drunk tonight
[+9] u/No-Improvement3164: Tonight we rename it to the Strait of America and we are now charging 4 million to pass thru.
[+9] u/Dull-Buy-2776: Buls pumping gas at $4.10 rn after saying the economy is fine
[+9] u/Internal_Field5970: Is there a polymarket on if 🥭 mentions Mr Noem’s melons in the speech tonight?
[+9] u/Ok_Vacation_7537: I’m jacked and rich!! 🤑
April fools, I’m fat, balding and broke 😔
[+9] u/bearhunter429: #There is a 50% chance he'll say "we are ending the war" and 50% chance that he'll say "we are escalating the shit out of the war". Take your pick. LMAO🤌
[+9] u/amanj41: Too many expectations in both directions fuck. 0% guaranteed move
[+9] u/MarienBean: im worried because Trump's announcement will exactly happen at AH close
[+9] u/nolanjp: Breaking news: Iran threatens to invade epstein island in response to American comments on bombing Kharg Island /s
[+9] u/AirportMaterial5917: sense sparkle point waiting rinse subsequent yoke encourage ad hoc office
[+8] u/Such_Coin: I have no idea what will be said tonight, but I can assure you that Sleepy will still be catching strays.
[+8] u/2020isgreat: how funny would a circuit breaker be on the anniversary of liberation day
[+8] u/amanj41: 99% the speech tonight is nothingburger. Why wait until after hours for great news? And why announce bad news tonight when he could have waited another day and announce before the long weekend. 0% open. My positions? Cooked.
[+8] u/Maximum-Sign-5983: Red tomorrow most likely
[+8] u/Karl151: I’m going bankrupt if SPY doesn’t drill
[+8] u/modder9: I’ve been telling you guys for weeks that he’s a drama queen and won’t announce anything important over tweet. He wants to be on camera.
Equally as likely this is just a bait/regurgitating rally beats.
[+8] u/Spy300: Bro pulls out of nato tonight and I retire
[+8] u/nyse25: never kill yourself, not even once
[+8] u/ModeForJoe: BREAKING: Iran hits Amazon, Brazil responds by entering war
[+8] u/Soffatjockis: Any unusual selling of buying before close?
These insider fucks will not let an opportunity like this go to waste.
[+8] u/ev01ution: I got calls for tomorrow. He’s going to do the biggest taco tonight. “All goals are met. World peace.” Calls going to be 1000% by tomorrow.
[+8] u/wattap: #bears betting the farm that he announces boots on the ground lmao
[+8] u/lessoninprogress: Fuck it one last grand on over night 1dte 655 puts…. Loss porn loading🫡
[+8] u/Embarrassed-Jump-212: Ok, back to the Epstein files. Still a pedo. I bought calls this morning and didn’t sell. I’m probably regarded but let’s see what this idiot says tonight. Pump it. 👏
[+8] u/softboiledjadepotato: The minute I see him holding a poster board, throwing it all into SQQQ
[+8] u/Rare-Dragonfruit-246: !BANBET SPY -2.8% 24h
[+8] u/AfraidAnalyst: Watch the speech be like, LOOK AT THE BEST BALLROOM
[+8] u/StandardDot5115: technically the strait has always been open, if you don't care about the missiles
[+8] u/Academic_Lock_1699: Still want them to release the unredacted Epstein files 🤷
[+8] u/TickTockTaudit: He’s always way late. Cocksucker is going to be babbling way after my bedtime. I’ll check how red overnights are when I get up to piss.
[+8] u/cakestocks: 🥭 and his team are not preparing for the speech, they’re in the security room looking at neoms husbands tata’s
[+8] u/skychief99: Tonight he's revealing the ball room will be twice the size as originally planned.
[+8] u/looool_k_libtard: Moon landing today is a cover up for the mutant squids who have created their own government rising up in the Idaho sewer system that they don’t want you to know about
[+8] u/basedpogchamp: There once was a rabbi named Keith, who circumcised men with his teeth. It was not for the leisure or the sensual pleasure, but to get at the cheese underneath
[+8] u/LemurianAdvantage: Keep seeing people talking about how bearish it is in here but I'm not seeing it
[+8] u/RemarkableVictory990: Africa is even more exposed, with \~41% of jet fuel and \~23% of diesel imports flowing through hormuz.
puts on poor people
[+8] u/Manufactured_feces: 🥭's speech tonight: "Marco Rubio is a handsome guy. Who wants to see him as the new AY-A-TOLLA?"
[+8] u/S-Club-Party: Bears are virgins who can’t drive
[+8] u/FearlessStatement144: I wouldn’t be surprised at 662 tomorrow. The market believes this fool no matter what’s actually happening. He’s gonna lie thru his bleached teeth and they’ll eat it up
[+7] u/Manufactured_feces: 🥭's speech tonight: "I told Marco.. I said Marco you are a handsome guy... so handsome... The iran people would be lucky to have a handsome A-YA-TOLLAA like you. He might do it too."
[+7] u/YaLlegaHiperhumor: If you didn't load on puts for the now-classic Thursday dump after this mini-rally, what were you doing?
[+7] u/Actual_Difference617: I am afraid that you cannot just leave a vital trading route in hands of Iran and think that we are going to pump tomorrow.
[+7] u/Jynx91: 🥭: its a good time to sell
[+7] u/ajibtunes: Just in: A 28 year old man in California, broke into a woman's home and, while she was sleeping, sucked and licked her toes, for which he was sentenced to 6 years in prison on charges of harassment and unlawful entry.
[+7] u/botperception: Coming up on the anniversary of liberation day
[+7] u/bikkhu42: # RANDY WALTERS IS A SON OF A BITCH
# OOOOOOO
[+7] u/Civil_Cheesecake2492: https://www.wsj.com/livecoverage/iran-war-news-trump/card/iran-s-president-to-address-americans-in-upcoming-letter-fbRK2yCdyLgsrte49ZL2 surprised this didn't cause more of a pop
[+7] u/Whoopziedaisy: Moves tomorrow? Watching the Artemis launch tonight and then watching my space stocks portfolio moon
[+7] u/KoABori1661: What are my moves tomorrow?
Hmm... I'll probably rub warm aloe over my achy bum and play my PS2 just to give my inner child a momentary reprieve from this existential nightmare.
[+7] u/zestykite: he gonna say at the same time.. we have already won the war. but Europe needs to do more to win the war on their own. and the while we won the war, we will send more troops to the region because if they dont give up we will bomb them more. But the war is already over. and we dont rely on their oil, so i dont care about hormuz so eurpe can get their own oil, but we wont stop attacking unless hormuz is opened.
[+7] u/DoominaTater: Lmao that “open letter to the American people” basically doesn’t say a fucking thing.
[+7] u/softboiledjadepotato: 5 hours until days of analysis and careful fund management means nothing
[+7] u/codespyder: Raked in $4000 in covered call premiums, banked half of that, and gambled the rest on 658Cs that blew up in my face in the late afternoon.
Now I’m praying my shares don’t get called away 🙃
[+7] u/SlfImpr: I am hosting a 9pm watch party. BYOB
(btch)
[+7] u/Stunning-Dig-8916: Bears in a few hours 💢⭕️💢⭕️
[+7] u/Revolver_Lanky_Kong: Ready to defeat Iran for the 13th time tonight, let the market rip donnie
[+7] u/SoloOutdoor: Yeah, you like that you fuckn retard?
[+7] u/UnitedCup1814: 🥭 is going to announce we invade Israel next because nettin isn't sharing his grandma's famous matzo ball soup recipe with him
[+7] u/Gom_KBull: Ahhh, nice. The 2nd shoulder formed
[+7] u/Suavecore_: Remember when spy was 629 2 days ago
[+7] u/greyenlightenment: 9/10 times trump speech is snoozer, futures don't move.
[+7] u/2AMTrader: Bulls still think trump tells the truth
Boots are going to touch the ground
[+7] u/Bravadette: It wouldnt be surprising if he tariffed NATO allies tonight and also captured Kharg.
[+7] u/modder9: He loves being on camera and wants to have a big historical televised moment.
He’s also done these special events and they turn out to be campaign rallies just rambling the same shit he’s done for 10 years now.
However, any major event like boots on the ground, finalized peace agreement, or unilateral withdrawal(losing the war) will be on camera because he’s a little drama queen.
Nothing ever happens might be the play.
[+7] u/Alarmed-Rope-9062: Why would Trump choose to have a speech on April Fools Day..??
[+7] u/utterlyirrational: america was awesome in the 90s. what happened.
[+7] u/cannythecat: I read the Iranian letter. To me it sounds like they are making an appeal to America for them to not invade.
[+7] u/StillBroke0ff: Bear case remains that the conflict gets worse and negotiations are not smooth. Inflation starts to rise and oil stays elevated. Layoffs continue and rate cut projections move out even further. Capex starts to decrease next quarter as recession fears rise. Earnings are weaker due to higher wholesale costs.
Bull case is simpler imo. Earnings projections are good. Money supply is rising. New Fed chair has a solid agenda. Trump admin needs to do some wild shit to have a chance at midterms and we all know just how important the market is to Trump.
Price action remains clear. Are we starting to move away from the sell the pop? The last few weeks every move higher gets sold quickly and consistently. Are we going to reclaim the 200dma? Are bear gaps starting to fill on the daily timeframe rather than flush and leave wicks only? Are we steadily making higher lows on larger timeframes?
If we get a 2-3 day harsh move higher be cautious. While a base like what was formed in 2022-2023 may not happen again, you don't want to see massive gapping up green candles. Thats an indication for another flush down. Once and IF that happens we then move into the thought process of are we going to break a new low or hold the previous low?
[+7] u/iBoughtAtTheBottom: Crazy how hard the word “slop” has made a comeback. Can we gamble on the next word revival?
[+7] u/n1ck90z: Let's be honest, every day is bear fools day
[+7] u/Commercial-District1: It’s hard to be cash gang when you have no cash
[+7] u/Inner_View1095: Oh sweetie, you didn’t buy the most obvious calls of the century
[+7] u/Ok_Loquat_5413: Puts gonna print tomorrow for sure, don't know
[+7] u/LarsTarkas: Cheeks are going to be spread tonight and I predict it will be all of us
[+7] u/guhhhh_MU: I thought the Druski skit was hilarious
[+7] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/Sjgreen made a bet that SPY would go to 666.0 within **1 day** when it was 649.999 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 5 wins and 28 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+6] u/dylanx5150: I just need SPY to drop $23 by close tomorrow. Practically a sure thing, right?
[+6] u/Ssjalexgd4: 5 hrs until the speech. Godspeed fellow regards o7
[+6] u/Live_Paper8680: cant wait to digest the speech tn by reading your comments 🫵
[+6] u/sleepygarner: I would laugh at the retards in charge if the consequences weren't so dire
[+6] u/anerdknownaswill: Currently have calls and puts so I can lose money either way
[+6] u/Whybother456: The last time he made an announcement this big, he slapped a 30% tariff on an island full of penguins from almost exactly a year ago
[+6] u/ThinCrusts: Tonight's speech is about the ballroom drama.
Y'all thought its gonna be about Iran? April fools!! 🫲🏼🫱🏼
[+6] u/Garbage-Disposal-938: Today’s performance for some of the companies Iran plans to target:
Cisco +0.40%
Microsoft -0.22%
Apple +0.73%
Google +3.42%
Meta +1.13%
Intel +9.02%
Nvidia +0.73%
Tesla +2.54%
JP Morgan +0.41%
GE Aerospace +3.14%
Palantir +0.18%
Oracle -1.28%
[+6] u/MagJack: Donnie has the ankles of a tree trunk, surely strongest man alive.
[+6] u/bearhunter429: #Nothing more dangerous than a 3 day weekend LMAO🤌
[+6] u/SoloOutdoor: It doesnt fuckn matter what happens. We are NEVER gonna see another mega crash. Theyll slow bleed till they get a few trillion then yeet it back up. Game rigged, blouses.
[+6] u/absolutxtr: 9PM speech is either:
a) post boots.
b) draft.
c) nothing. declaring victory again and also yelling at NATO for not helping enough and 8 wars ... no 9 stopped and ask me sex questions.
.... add your predictions below.
[+6] u/Internal_Field5970: I don’t see how this speech is any more than “maybe we will do this, maybe that, we will be out in 2-3 weeks” then glaze himself
[+6] u/Tautol0gic: Fuck my fat fucking cock fucking chungus bear fuck life cunt
[+6] u/Viktri1: I sold everything except gold and bought SPX puts
if this news isn't good we could give back the 3%
[+6] u/pineapplekiwipen: if your trading strategy rests on a guy who really needs a midterm win intentionally causing another massive dump in the markets i think solitaire is more your speed
[+6] u/Ill-Expression1737: I cant believe i was down 9k and then 30 mins later i was up 3k lmao
[+6] u/Substantial-Use-2867: Literally multiple people have banbet 2% in either direction which means it's going to end at exactly 655 tomorrow just to ruin my options because the market hates me
[+6] u/hfbvm2: Guys can anyone verify, my source is telling meit was intentionally leaked to the media that Trump will wind down war in Iran. But in reality Invasion is happening tonight and by the time Trump is live, they should have already secured Kharg Island
[+6] u/LasyKuuga: I am now an endangered species 😔 🐻
[+6] u/patmccock86: My early feeling is SPY literally doesn't move from this speech and it's all baked in already. A -4% move would be more fun, though
[+6] u/fakenews_thankme: My DD tells me that based on Trump's announcement tonight, the stocks will either go up or down tomorrow.
You're welcome!!
[+6] u/astromouse2024: Bulls did a real good job at making me concerned for my puts
I’ll be able to sell them for a +40% gain tomorrow
[+6] u/Me-Regarded: Ber case: Boots on ground, leaving NATO, more unhinged threats I can't even fathom.
Bol case: Taco packs up and leaves, let Europe clean up his mess. Most likely this will open the strait because EU didn't help us and Iran only hates us.
Does this sum things up?
[+6] u/Fit-Win-536: What if he comes out and doesn’t say a word and just stares at the camera for an hour?
[+6] u/Wall_St_Bussy: I have 656 calls and puts with about a $1.40 delta so I’m fully expecting not a single share to be traded tomorrow so they both IV fuck me in the 🅱️ussy
[+6] u/Salty-Bid1597: Imagine a petulant manchild being the embodiment of your national identity
[+6] u/TheWizardOfFries: It'll either be underwhelming, lying, or mobilizing, probably some combination of all 3
[+6] u/cowman711: If we dump tomorrow im rich
[+6] u/DENIMSHORTS_840SCORE: Oh jesus christ. If the launch is delayed....MF'Er
[+6] u/ShittyUsernane1222: it would be funny if 🥭's speech was just him staring at the camera and while his face slowly melts to reveal he was actually a \[REDACTED\] and \[EXPUNGED\], reality bending anomaly.
[+6] u/DragonFruit-_-777: BEARS and BULLS gotta remember that the past 6 Thursdays have been red days. And 🥭 always 🌮s so he’s ghey
[+6] u/ismebbb: Temporarily cash gang. We'll see what happens tonight
[+6] u/ShittyUsernane1222: it would also be funny if 🥭's speech was him reciting the lords prayer in perfect latin backwards while in the background horrors beyond human comprehension took place necessitating a UN quarantine zone in North America and a UN coalition military intervention to contain IT.
[+6] u/ConstantAd1: I hope he does the address in an easter bunny costume
[+6] u/highlanderquestion90: War is over, and it will be announced tonight
[+6] u/Icommandyou: War is over but it’s also April fools so
[+6] u/djrlrp: Imagine thinking you live in the greatest country on Earth 😂
[+6] u/rumblegod: Historic pump after this 9 pm presser. No other reason to have this meeting. Calls tomorrow
[+6] u/Comfortable733: TRUMP TO AWARD HIMSELF TRUMP PEACE PRIZE AFTER ENDING 9TH WAR - SOURCES
[+6] u/orsomeshitidk: Remember fellas, if you’re not the US gov you gotta get consent to *open the strait*
[+5] u/one_excited_guy: I plan to monitor the situation
[+5] u/Treverer: Iran said that they’ll strike the US companies and they did successfully so. 🥭 keeps touting that Iranian defense is obliterated, but the Gulf states don’t seem to fare any better.
Very bullish signal if anything
[+5] u/I_Study_The_Patterns: 2 billion dollars worth of SPY was just bought in 1 minute.
[+5] u/Ok_Hand5810: We invade as soon as markets close tomorrow. He's going to use the long weekend to launch a ground invasion.
[+5] u/bemeandnotyou: OIl up TLT down
Oil down TLT down
Inflation up TLT down
Inflation moderating? TLT DOWN
Fuck u TLT
[+5] u/cakestocks: I work with boomers and they listen to finance podcasts and look at P/E ratios.
How do I tell them I browse this sub like a retard for all my financial advice?
[+5] u/Pure-Marketing-4236: If the address tonight is about anything other than Iran, SPY 640 tomorrow.
[+5] u/Revolver_Lanky_Kong: I salute all you legendary bastards holding positions
[+5] u/UNETHICAL_SWAG: I should’ve just bought Pokemon cards
[+5] u/orsomeshitidk: God damn I hate a 4pm meeting
[+5] u/UnitedCup1814: Our high IQ, handsome 🍊 leader will save us tonight maybe
[+5] u/Previous_Hope_2087: I really feel like such a sucker getting fucked by tweets two days in a row.
[+5] u/John__Chena: Titanic, but Rose is a 400lb fat woman…
[+5] u/Fast-Steak-7730: Every Thursday has been red. Will it be different tomorrow??
[+5] u/FastCar_5: He's gonna send in troops tonight, they will find uranium even if it's not there, cause more mess, declare victory, and ....who knows..
[+5] u/callsonreddit: Now question is how Donald speech will affect SPY..
Miners should be ok to hold. Tech not sure
[+5] u/Blue_Moon_City: Made 19 dollars today. Overall good day I guess.
[+5] u/Rolltide43: Way too many bears are hoping for invasion. Just based off that alone means it will never happen.
[+5] u/Scalpaholic: Sense that? I think the Great Recession 2 is in room with us.
[+5] u/sftheory: Popped the port 10% today and rolled all the profit into puts expiring next week. There is actually nothing that can be said tonight that will make oil cheeper tomorrow
[+5] u/rollinhating: Suspence is killing me.. Its either 5% pump announcement or -5% rip announcement
[+5] u/NefariousnessIcy7657: We’re about to hear about another great victory…
[+5] u/WhoLickedMyDumpling: My parents think I'm rich bc I have a good job. How to tell them i can't lend them shit bc I'm poor as shit too
[+5] u/zuziannka: Bro I am kinda embarrassed my manager asked me something about the project and I said it’s all depends on budget and he said what if I give you 1 mil and I laughed like a clown damn I am so godamn stupid he must be thinking what a weirdo
[+5] u/Random_Yoohooser: Went old school and playing gold, but you know we went new school and played options on it
[+5] u/DENIMSHORTS_840SCORE: Did you guys know we are gonna send a rocket to space on live tv tonight? They havent done that for at least a year right?
[+5] u/Wows_Nightly_News: Maybe he'll announce the whole war was part of April fools
[+5] u/analgape4206969: Liberation day 2 would be great. 2 consecutive -5% days then a +12% day into a year of pumping
[+5] u/Same_College2053: Check yo see if your Last Name was included in this first round draft for Iran.
Its A H J & Q. Birth years 1993-1996
[Draftkings.com/war](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ?si=yUmqaAKrqr9my6pl)
[+5] u/ManoSann: What is it called when you rage quit from a war you started?
[+5] u/cashflow_: No one here ever talks about pizza you guys are whack
[+5] u/RemarkableVictory990: i was sniffing gasoline to get high but these days we switched to cocaine to save money
[+5] u/Distinct_Chard3048: Ima need trump to start world war 4 so i can buy the dip
[+5] u/AlarmedPelican: How many of you took 1 dte calls strictly because America is going back to the moon today?
[+5] u/zuziannka: At what time regard speaking again?
[+5] u/LivinLike: all time highs tomorrow
[+5] u/IlinistRainbow6: when does MSFT hit 400 again
[+5] u/Losemoniez: He’s a babbling idiot nothing will matter
[+5] u/Moepenmoes: Considering mango will do the announcement today on a market day and not before the weekend, does that mean he expects a bullish reaction the next day? No way he would say something that could turn the market red next day, right?
[+5] u/Technical-Emu-32: 9pm EST is 4:30am Iran time. ICYMI
[+5] u/TechnologyEven6926: Today was the funniest fucking day I’ve ever seen
What was even the 1pm pump? What fucking gamma squeezes unlock that this shit goes on dollar buying sprees
[+5] u/InfiniteNerve1384: Rolling with calls. Do or die. Fuck it. Feel like if it was a Thursday announcement it’d be bearish but Wednesday is bullish.
[+5] u/basedpogchamp: imagine flying to the fucking moon and not even getting to walk on it, pointless trip. I'd be asking for a refund
[+5] u/No-Improvement3164: I’m sorry but you’ll never see the $2 gas I promised or cheaper groceries.
[+5] u/DCrebuilds: It's going to be a nothing burger isn't it
[+5] u/2020isgreat: Why don't we make solar powered AC to solve global warming
[+5] u/Technical-Emu-32: Change my mind.
Good afternoon 📉 is better than Good Evening 📈
[+5] u/Retaining-Wall: Too much Bol euphoria.
Puts.
[+5] u/DatsMaPurse_IDKU: He’s gonna just jack off on live tv and praise himself isn’t he?
[+5] u/orsomeshitidk: Remember when people would look at a company’s financials to decide if something was a good buy? Lmao
[+5] u/Capt_Chickenpox: Well made some gains, then lost them.
Shit
[+5] u/AirportMaterial5917: abounding complete boast ancient society compare stocking racial whole plate
[+5] u/Infinite-Anybody204: Real Americans dont question the pedophile in chief🫡
[+25] u/NewDawn101: 🥭 gonna announce he is gay
[+21] u/LouieM13: MULTIPLE U.S. INTELLIGENCE AGENCIES HAVE ASSESSED IN RECENT DAYS THAT THE IRANIAN GOVERNMENT IS NOT CURRENTLY WILLING TO ENGAGE IN SUBSTANTIAL NEGOTIATIONS TO END WAR- NYT
The set up for boots on the ground
[+20] u/WSB-mods-are-: EU is about to monitor the shit out of this situation
[+18] u/undocumented_twerker: Heard if you've made a bearish comment here, you'll be the first ones drafted
[+16] u/Eddyrancid: God, how fucked up will it be if his "announcement on the war" is that we're pulling out of NATO in response to them not joining in the war?
[+16] u/Putrid_Pollution3455: Remember when you only bought index funds and made shit loads of money without knowing anything? And now you're ballz deep in the complex financial matrix, obsessively trying to pierce the void and gain some kind of demonic foresight, countless hours attempting to outperform the basic index and alas.....you were better off stupid and simple in your investing strategy. Maybe it's time to go back to that space....and maybe it's time we start showing the SPY YTD returns so you can benchmark your returns, the time spent trying to gain an edge, and how much you would have made doing absolutely fuck all. This year, you'd only be down -4.09%......how we doing?
[+16] u/Odd-Spray5046: Aussie checking in, what happened to that Venezuelan bloke you cunts took?
[+15] u/Joey-Cap: I base all my trades on all the cortisol driven comments in this sub
[+15] u/Optimal-Midnight4295: It almost doesn’t even matter what he says because he’s 100% going to change his mind about whatever it is by tomorrow morning
[+15] u/aaapod: 4 hours until we get liberated from our money ❤️
[+15] u/WSB-mods-are-: We need to start focusing on the things that truly matter as a nation.
* Will GTA actually come out in November?
* Lock George up until Winds of Winter is completed
* Why does Amazon tell me the package will be here in 2 days?
* Make Fast Food soft drinks $1 again
* No more beer menus without prices!
[+15] u/drmundojr: Can't wait for Israel to release the unredacted Epstein files tomorrow LMAO🤌
[+14] u/Unh0lyCatf1sh: 🥭Mango has been putting out press releases ahead of his announcement that he will announce the withdrawal from Iran, which means during the actual address he will announce further escalation and a full ground invasion, then change his mind tomorrow morning once he has had time to buy the dip
[+14] u/BarbellPadawan: I’m 100% taking like 25mg of edibles before tonight’s speech.
[+13] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: War ends: oil supply still screwed up, US looks weak, Iran gets more control of supply
War doesn't end: Even more disruption than is currently taking place. Oil will rocket up, market dumps.
What's the bullish case here? Market manipulation? It's possible.
[+13] u/Chortega: Iran demanding ships going through the Strait of Hormuz to pay in Crypto or Chinese Yuan....yea U.S. cannot pull out anymore
[+12] u/angusjones1: I can't watch that fker talk. He's just too goddamn creepy and weird. I'll check back here in the AM.
[+12] u/YouAlwaysHaveAChoice: The goal of tonight’s speech is to crush oil. He knows that reasonable gas prices are crucial to maintaining control. The speech tonight will be full of fake plans and details and deals to ensure that the strait is open, and strikes on oil infrastructure will stop. Whether or not any of it is true does not matter.
[+12] u/TreeofLibertyFood: 🥭 doesn’t have the Khargs.
[+12] u/kcramthun: Walking out of today's Supreme Court hearing was a sign. Things don't work out, he checks out.
[+12] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: For those expecting an announcement of withdrawing and an exit to the war, best you're gonna get tonight is "I have a concept of an exit plan".
There's better chances of withdrawing from NATO sooner than Iran.
[+11] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: imagine he is like "war is ending, anyway, about the ballroom" and goes on for 30 minutes about that
[+11] u/noahmfs: Whatever is the announcement today is bearish, if USA just leaves, Iran wins and do whatever hthey want with the strait and Russia & China will know exactly how to hit Americans. If he goes full retard and send troops to invade it will be bearish also. There is no good news in this case scenario.
[+11] u/aaapod: tonight he's gonna say "april fools! there's no war in iran. i gotcha didn't i? people are saying this was the greatest april fools joke of all time. they're saying they've never seen anything like it. they might give me a medal for it but i told them nooo please i don't want that. they begged and they pleaded on their knees so i said alright fine give me the medal. i guess they just love me. great medal too. shiny, shiniest anyone's ever seen. never seen anything like it."
[+11] u/Reasonable-Sir5355: 🥭gonna brag about the win, tell us troops leaving soon, whine about nato, then strike on friday :D
[+11] u/Athien: If we see a "Mission Accomplished" Banner tonight, confirmed 2 more weeks of red
[+11] u/No_Stand5622: It will be a ceasefire tonight
War resume tomorrow
[+11] u/StonklordBenno: 🥭’s speech will be claiming a huge victory, blaming NATO allies for a closed strait of Hormuz and leaving the rest of the world to solve this mess. US/oil prices will remain at 100$/barrel.
[+11] u/userusery24: The real live news event today is the Artemis II launch in an hour let’s gooooo
[+11] u/radljostxx: I’ll save you all time. He’s going to make it worse. They’re all inside trading.
[+10] u/baadsha: Some kid watching this rocket launch today is going to remember it 30 years from now when he’s about to lift off.
And I’m sitting here waiting for one of the most retarded humans alive to tank my portfolio at 9pm.
[+10] u/Cav829: Never expected I'd see a sitting U.S. President rage quit a war, but here we are.
[+10] u/oldsguy65: Why doesn't he just buy the Strait?
[+10] u/Traditional-Cloud154: I wish I bought puts. He’s definitely gonna say some stupid shit
[+10] u/PinealTone: Tonight theme
1. we won the war. (nth time)
2. Threaten to quit Nato while saying we don't need them. "they can go get their oil themselves,"
3. Sharpie pens are nice.
4. Cease fire in talks with a very "important person" but they must accept all my requirements.
5. Ball room emphasis on golden curtain.
6. War will finish in 3- 4 weeks and oil will be lower. Necessay pain needed now.
7. other rants.
[+10] u/FrostingOk2692: My quant told me numbers gonna go up or down tommorow
[+10] u/D1finalboss: An actual conman is head of state and will go live on tv later today and 🫵 bought calls 🤡
[+10] u/PinealTone: Poly market seems more trustworthy than the whole admin which seems clueless.
And right now, poly market is saying straits will still be closed as of Apr 30.
[+10] u/PeeOnDusk: I just ate a sour Mango and had to run to the nearest gender neutral bathroom. Had to take a she/it.
[+10] u/Upset-Motor-2602: I have ber spurs if they try to draft me
[+10] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: Here’s my single best trade advice:
Don’t put your account in a position that would be embarrassing if your wife saw it
[+10] u/Godworthy-Sins: Tonights speech will make or break me
[+9] u/No_Current3675: What an indelible fucktard.
[+9] u/drmundojr: Can't wait for 🥭 to TACO so Iran can take over Israel... jk Epstein Files LMAO🤌
[+9] u/Valkorion335786: #🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨
**Ryan Gosling joins the cast of HBO's upcoming Harry Potter reboot, taking on the role of Kingsley Shacklebolt.**
[+9] u/Ok-Analysis4121: His speeches are nothing burgers with fries
[+9] u/WSB-mods-are-: Prepare yourselves.....the WTF WHY ARE WE GREEN?!?! comments are going to flood the thread tomorrow
[+9] u/Hellmale: So far I made $681 last month investing $2k. Not bad 😂
[+9] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: Maybe they just pumped things today and yesterday because if they didn't, the massive drop from whatever he says would upset the boomers and break the economy
[+9] u/Nick_Gilberts_Bowtie: He just told us we’re there for 2-3 more weeks… what’s he gonna tell us tonight? April fools, we’re leaving? Imma say doubt it, bigly.
[+9] u/gomper: Can't hold anything overnight in a market run by a demented octogenarian game show host. Except Bryan Noem's tits
[+9] u/No_Psychology_4339: You would hear about Boots on the ground after it alrdy happened. He wouldnt announce it in advance on live tv.
[+9] u/drmundojr: Can't wait for Israel to release the unredacted Epstein files tomorrow LMAO🤌
[+9] u/Hot-Ambassador8740: Lies tonight + long weekend + Thursday typically red. Hmmm
[+9] u/aa73gc: No way yahoo let's him walk away with the job half done. The speech will just touch on the same points we have heard the last week or so
[+9] u/Historical_Bother274: Cash gang feels so bad, green days make you feel ur watching a party that you cant join. Red days make you hope for more red but still you aren't making any direct money
[+9] u/Joey-Cap: Apparently, they went to the moon and landed with the compute power equivalent to toaster oven
50 years later we still haven't gone back..
Should have had a Disney world there by now
[+9] u/noahmfs: 🥭 will say we are done we leaving and then send troops to invade Thursday after close. He always does it
[+9] u/hey-coffee-eyes: 🥭 tonight: "I am taking my ball 🏀 and I'm going home 🚶"
[+9] u/McClintockC: Why can't we invade someplace really dangerous for once
Like Florida
[+8] u/Few_Egg3567: *The speech is going to be about the ballroom LMAO* 🤌🤌
[+8] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: The price of oil will tell you what is happening. Everything else is speculation.
[+8] u/IJustWantaQuietLife1: Why is everyone so bullish now 😂😂 see you in the AM stupid bulls
[+8] u/mannycalls24: Puts an obvious play here but if tomorrow is green bears will throw an absolute temper tantrum
[+8] u/CheeseEveryMeal: These dudes just have to sit in the rocket for over an hour before launch? I would pee like 4 times just to be told its scrubbed.
[+8] u/TERRAIN_PULL_UP_: Just know that whatever he says you can’t trust it, but the market will
[+8] u/maikaubay: Set my alarm at 9 PM
[+8] u/Successful-Pass-568: Iran Revolutionary Guard senior official Mohsen Rezaee: “We, Iran, can close the Strait of Hormuz. But even if the whole world gathers, they cannot reopen it… It takes seven to eight hours for a ship to enter, turn, pass the narrowest part, and exit.”
[+8] u/GeologistOutrageous6: Reports are coming out that 🥭 agreed to start paying Iran to stop attacking tankers, aka (paying the toll) but told the Iranians to keep it quiet
[+8] u/FabulousLanguage6216: “You don’t have the cards… “ karma is real
[+8] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: This is 100% nothing burger. Now the question is is that bullish or bearish
[+8] u/syedhuda: market gonna dump so hard buls gonna wish they had diapers
[+8] u/FabulousLanguage6216: Must be nice to have insider info
[+8] u/spyputs1: I imagine tonight’s speech will include congressmen and be like stand up, clap, sit down, clap, wake up clap 🎶
[+8] u/Cygnus_X_I: is it super taco or is spy falling off a cliff tomorrow
call it
[+8] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: Oh man this thread is gonna get lit later 🔥
[+8] u/FelixMumuHex: Rug pull tomorrow, lube your assholes bols
[+8] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: #GOD I MISS THE FROG EMOJIS WITH THE YES AND NO SIGNS 😭
[+8] u/Stealthhit098: Miss the days where the only thing people were worried about was big tech earnings now it’s the big taco
[+8] u/Dependent_Bike_3112: thank you for sharing
[+8] u/Athien: Home turf advantage is legit when it comes to wars
[+7] u/kal14144: Boobs on the ground (Byron Noem’s boobs)
[+7] u/Proper_Sky3177: Honestly the fact this sub has like 1 comment on what is the giant magical trade of meta just shows this sub long been cooked.
[+7] u/claytondpark: "I'll know when the war is over when I feel it in my bones" 🥭
Vibe trading ❌
Vibe coding ❌
Vibe warring ✅
[+7] u/SomePolack: We are literally living in 🥭 world
This must be what it feels like inside his head
[+7] u/Muted-South4737: What if he pulls his mask off, and it's Ashton Kutcher, and we've all been Punk'd since 2015?
[+7] u/Ninefingerzs: Wish there was a poll whether we thinks it’s peace or puts
[+7] u/SomePolack: Always knew I’d finally break on a random weekday
[+7] u/Madsen13140: Let's take a few pills before the speech to really appreciate the show
[+7] u/idanfl8: Fuck this last two months have been horrible
[+7] u/LLMprophet: Iran just confirmed the war continues.
[+7] u/Muted-South4737: I've blown up my port so many times, I don't even feel anything anymore unless a trade is profitable.
And then the only thing I feel is panic.
[+7] u/Historical_Bother274: Yesterday while having sex I kept thinking about the market and fterwards the first thing I did was check my positions. How over is it for me?
[+7] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: we are LITERALLY gonna MOON tonight LMAO
[+7] u/WrexyWrex: US exports of distilled spirits to Canada fell 70% (!) last year. That's because there has been a ban on U.S. spirits sales across most Canadian provinces
Perhaps even more striking was the 35% decline in US whiskey exports to the EU -- where there was neither a ban nor retaliatory tariffs. (EU retaliation was announced but has been suspended multiple times and never gone into effect)
per Catherine Rampbell, Economist at Bulwark
We don't even need tariffs anymore, countries are just boycotting us lmao
[](https://bsky.app/profile/crampell.bsky.social)
[+7] u/bidahtibull: Trump seized Iran's Uranium and has drank it to keep it safe, and cure his bone spurs.
[+7] u/bearwithme23: moon sex could be accomplished
[+6] u/1M-to-Zero: Trump prepares to address nation on Iran after vowing to end conflict in ‘weeks’
[+6] u/NewDawn101: Looks like 🥭 is announcing the end of war tonight. Not even gonna take 2-3 weeks anymore. According to POLITICO
[+6] u/Evander85: We get one day to place our bets tomorrow and then 3 days of waiting post speech
[+6] u/pleasestoptalkin: How mad are you guys going to be when 🥭 just spends the whole time talking about the NASA launch 🚀 🌖
[+6] u/GoogleKushforLunch: Plot twist Iran, Israel, & USA unite and take over the UK
[+6] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: The speech is clearly a victory speech. Gonna talk about how much "he" blew up, and pat himself on the back. I aint watching that shit.
[+6] u/Best_Sherbert_9481: Well I need to make back 4k and more to replace my losses from today
[+6] u/PinealTone: Would be funny if tomorrow oil goes down AND spy goes down too...
[+6] u/MrUnbekanntovic: Can we bet on polymarket how many times he will say won?
[+6] u/Mr_Madrass: Everything is going great. Iran will pay for all. We are sending boots on the ground. Also, look at these golden ornaments I picked out. It’s 18 karat gold.
[+6] u/Level_Counter3062: Nice seeing SPY in the 650s again last time for a good while
[+6] u/jerm2z: The casinos been closed for an hour only and I’m already feeling withdrawals
[+6] u/SomePolack: Officially back to break even after losing all my gains this month on fertilizer
Time for a long look in the mirror 🤡
[+6] u/bluen: Chipotle should use ai to create a stretchable tortilla wrap
[+6] u/aqjingson: Use common sense, 🥭 wants people to talk about how resilient the market is during Easter weekend
[+6] u/PalpitationSmooth992: why is everyone so fuckin scared to show positions?
every single gain and loss porn is just account values
nobody gives a shit how much you gained or loss they just want to see trades
[+6] u/Level_Counter3062: WSB needs a YouTube channel that does daily market wraps
[+6] u/skymagic: china and russia bots, how do I join and get paid for posting in here?
[+6] u/nikerock: Is it just me? Or does a good trading day makes the day go by faster? Felt like I just walked into work at 8:30am, and now I'm on the tube home at 5:00pm. Not even sure what I did at work today, except seeing green for the first fucking time in like 3 weeks.
[+6] u/Prometheus013: Put in spy puts expiring tomorrow and Monday. 850 USD worth. Unrealistic recovery. Double down tomorrow expiring next Friday if goes up again tomorrow.
[+6] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: A national address for the biggest taco you have seen in ur goddam life lmao
[+6] u/Madsen13140: I swear if they dont play YMCA after the speech i ll be disapointed
[+6] u/Unit_Weird: It's a bluff to catch them off guard. Bombs start dropping from 9 pm for 24 hrs then boots on ground to finish the job
[+6] u/Guilty-Deer-2147: We won -> we're leaving -> Iran doesn't open the strait -> "Iran is being a meanie so we have no choice but to invade" -> ground invasion -> SPY 700
[+6] u/KingZorra: 🥭 will declare Iran Liberation Day when we put boots on the ground … also, Iran will pay for the war not US …
it would be as ironic as Liberation Day last year
[+6] u/DifficultGarlic6: When has Trump EVER not TACO'd? I'd be bigly surprised if this speech isn't just more TACOing. Calls.
[+6] u/Diamond-Solo: I have a dream!
That bers and bols may live in harmony. Where tendies rain for all. Portfolios of endless green.
[+5] u/kingofshitmntt: Lol theyre talking about fuel rationing in AUS. Things about to get way worse. Sorry folks. Global recession for Israel and Epsteins BFF
[+5] u/Most-Crazy2353: They really cancelled love island to show 🥭 speak 😔
[+5] u/Relevant_Season4218: What's the plan if this rocket doesn't swing around the dark side of the moon and just keeps going? That's a whole new level of fucked
[+5] u/thefxll: two open gaps south after a reflexive relief/belief rally
🥭 speech tonight
nfp and unemployment on a day the market is closed
long weekend
good luck!
[+5] u/warm-regard: Is it 9pm yet? I got the shakes
[+5] u/Several_Bread_9144: At the announcement today mongo will repent. After apologizing for what he did, he wilk start singing the great hit "Sorry" by Justin Bieberon
[+5] u/Independent_Drop4317: I just want to see a 5% intraday swing this month
[+5] u/RickySitts: 🥭 been saying he’s outta there so boots on the ground guaranteed
[+5] u/csr8765: MSFT bulls, you are losing tomorrow regardless of what comes in the speech tonight. Bad news, your stock is down a lot. Good news, your stock is down a little
[+5] u/quokka1234567890: This place is why the internet needs to exist
[+5] u/McClintockC: Has anybody seen my cards?!?!
[+5] u/SerialStrategist: I'll show you my micro soft if you show me yours.
[+5] u/SomePolack: USO calls into close were not the move
I’m dumb for thinking that oil prices will spike if we leave the strait closed
[+5] u/kodaksdad2020: You’re a fool if you only trade options instead of futures because 75% of the move is happening over night
[+5] u/ChampagnePapi-: just wait till after the announcement, it's gonna be down hugely
[+5] u/radishr: 🥭 loves TV drama so much, it wouldn't surprise me if he simultaneously launches and announces the ground invasion during his State of the Kaos address tonight.
[+5] u/TheGamerHelper: You guys really think he’s gonna share good news after sending marines and whole aircraft carriers?
Lmao 🤣 That’s billions of dollars of movement he did for just to turn back on it. Check out the army subreddits, they know what’s up.
[+5] u/Material_Formal3679: Anybody listen to the Blank Check podcast around here?
[+5] u/TinyAdhesiveness5773: yes hello, my response to 2026 is: ??????????
[+5] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: oh boy state of the union nights with a bunch or gambling addicted regards is FUN
[+5] u/AlasKansastan: Smoke some dope and pretend everything is fine
[+5] u/Clappindemcheekies: Can’t wait for the green dildos tomorrow
[+5] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: The best part about retarded biopharm moonshots is that they are almost completely disconnected from reality, and thus the greater market.
Honestly kind of a nice break from having everything dependent on fucking Oil and Iran.
[+5] u/Pete26l96: #STOOPID BEARS NEVER HAPPY, THEY'LL MAKE MONEY ON PUTS FOR WEEKS, GET GREEDY AND LOSE IT ALL, THEN CRY THE MARKET MAKES NO SENSE LOL
[+5] u/-medicalthrowaway-: At the request of LUNR bagholders Artemis II will not be landing on the moon, just flying around it.
Can’t land sideways if you don’t land 👍
[+5] u/TERRAIN_PULL_UP_: “Stocks go up on high hopes to end war”
Have stocks been paying attention?
[+5] u/noahmfs: Why spy not moving up like carzy if everything is so bullish?
[+5] u/FartPolluter: cash gang just sitting there with all this volatility with a demented, smug, surreptitious smile looking like a unhinged psycopath
[+5] u/Affectionate-View601: Jack off to the Monroe doctrine.
[+5] u/Knarre30: This pump was build on hopes and dreams.
[+5] u/confused_teabagger: I think my cat might be autistic! He keeps trying to convince me that puts are the move based on technically analysis, but I keep trying to explain to him that the market is rigged and runs on vibes and shenanigans.
[+5] u/Paul_Robert_: Flat earthers in shambles rn
[+5] u/junkertin: Shit out random calls and puts at open until im out of money. Stonkz
[+5] u/Loose_Stool_12: Whoa, EL just dropped like a rock at close...AGAIN! As it's now started consistently doing over the last several weeks.
I bought its "dip" over a month ago. My mascara is running 🥹
[+5] u/are_videos: all i know is they are gonna do some crazy inhumane shit this easter holiday... tmr is gonna DUMP for sure due to uncertainty
[+5] u/Relevant_Season4218: I was at Walmart yesterday and a lady in line was talking about the cost of everything and said her electric bill last month was $1200.00 how do they expect people to even live with wages so low . Old people on social security gotta eat and have utilities. No wonder there's so many homeless.
[+5] u/PristineDiscount3208: he's announcing the Iranian president is with him, and the IRGC is rogue.
[+5] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Mango got hit with multiple lawsuits ahead of this speech he has planned at 9, hes been bigching about NATO, and how weve won 7 times now, also that we dont need the strait, even though the goal shifted from "steal oil" to "reopen strait".
Tonight's speech is gonna be brutal to listen to
[+5] u/i2ye: Bears you’ve had your fun it’s time to go back into hibernation
[+5] u/3bizzle: Should have held my puts 🫠
[+5] u/Independent_Ad1086: What is the troglodyte announcing? Will it be like last time “nation address” where he just says some bs about in vitro fertilization for 2 hours lmao
[+5] u/ercanbas: But they’ll take cool selfies.
[+5] u/Kitchen-Hovercraft-8: all bots, I dont want to meet any of you in public
[+5] u/ffffffn: San Diego, no question
[+5] u/MadeThatCash: Have you seen those water jetski back packs? Mark my words, followed by dolphins with bluetooth
[+20] u/All_FIREdUp: The U.S. losing this war is actually goddamn hilarious
[+17] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: lol no shit huh
MULTIPLE U.S. INTELLIGENCE AGENCIES HAVE ASSESSED IN RECENT DAYS THAT THE IRANIAN GOVERNMENT IS NOT CURRENTLY WILLING TO ENGAGE IN SUBSTANTIAL NEGOTIATIONS TO END WAR- NYT
[+14] u/Montyprice7206: 🥭 tonight: “Bibi saw his shadow, 6 more weeks of war”
[+14] u/Threebridges2: Trump will announce something to boost the market today, invasion of an Iranian island will come over the long weekend, book it.
[+14] u/ericcc1029: Is a -2% day too much to ask for tomorrow?
[+14] u/Apple2o: BREAKING: Rappers seen hanging memory chips from necks instead of gold
[+12] u/Competitive-Elk9326: Let’s be real this dude is gonna talk for hours about how amazing and done and over with all this shit is, market up tomorrow, then ground invasion over the weekend 😴
[+11] u/Jagged_Tide: Friendly reminder: if you have $100 you are always just 10 2x trades away from $100,000
[+10] u/powerbuffcurls: Ground invasion on good friday
[+9] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: Whiskey if it dumps, whiskey if it pumps. Either way I’m getting sloshed
[+9] u/Fineous400: It’s quiet. Too quiet.
[+9] u/Nice-Difference8641: NEW: An Iranian source tells Reuters that no talks have been conducted through mediators for a temporary ceasefire.
Snip snap snip snap snip snap
[+9] u/mneymaker: Ngl the Iran letter to US people touched some sensitive spots. Anyone else felt it?
[+8] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: WHERE'S MY STIMMIE CHECK DONNIE🫴
[+8] u/ShadyPotatoTrader: Black Thursday or Monday?
[+8] u/Yousoldmetohigh: 134k of the 4/02 655p traded today. And I am in it. Good lord save us.
[+8] u/ThePre-FightDonut: Will continue buying oil on the cheap.
Tonight's speech is GW Bush declaring "Mission Accomplished" all over again. Absent a bloody occupation, the US doesn't really get to leave in a way that materially affects the oil supply/logistics issues until the Iranians say so.
[+8] u/benj760486: My names Artemis and I bleach my butthole
[+8] u/Gweeds95: Im old enough to remember when 🥭s Healthcare plan was 2 weeks away.
[+8] u/timetopractice: The speech is at 9pm so he can talk about the nuke that hits at 8:55pm
[+8] u/Effective_Dog3089: Humans about to go to the moon for the first time ever!
[+8] u/Stockengineer: Nothing will happen, flat lol 😂
[+8] u/v270: yeah, trump fucked kids. hope that helps.
[+8] u/Independent-Tree-985: Tariffs are so 2025
2026 is all about military expansionism
[+7] u/Own_Cat_9967: Is tonight’s speech going to be: Donald Pump or Donald Dump?
[+7] u/OK_Computer10101: The conspiracy theory around Apollo 11’s moon landing in 1969 was that NASA lacked the technology to land on the moon. Fast forward to 2026 and NASA is going to prove the haters wrong and land…. Oops, I mean, fly within 4000-6000 feet of the surface of the moon, not land, then fly back. I’m tired of all this winning!
[+7] u/AphexPin: Why is anyone here bullish?
[+7] u/EndGenocide13: Wash out day tomorrow after 🥭 forces people to watch how mentally unstable he is tonight.
[+7] u/ShadyPotatoTrader: Calls on trump saying:
“maybe we will have to put boots on the ground, I don’t know, maybe, but we’ll see, lots of people saying it. It would be good but probably the greatest. They are going to be gold, gold curtains, in the ballroom. Where’s Pete? Anyways….”
[+7] u/doolytokki: i wonder if Bibis goal was always gaza 2.0 in Lebanon and Iran was the smokescreen and US the retard left holding the blame
[+7] u/tgff333: Trump: We can't take care of daycare. We're a big country. We're fighting wars. It's not possible for us to take care of daycare, Medicaid, Medicare, all these things.
Nahhhhh this is fucked up
[+7] u/aftherith: Robinhood hit me with a 172k account deficit message. They didn't sort out my expiring spreads properly I guess. Isn't that why that kid offed himself? You'd think they would have fixed that.
[+7] u/QuantrixQuintrix: Fuck man that has got to be the coolest thing humanity does.
[+7] u/teh_herper: I could turn 1 mil into -10 mil
[+6] u/Weak_Emu3659: The 2026 WSB meetup was a fraudulent luxury event in New York, marketed by influencers as an exclusive, high-end experience. Attendees paid thousands for disastrous conditions, including dis
[+6] u/Yousoldmetohigh: Went to trumps truth social on my desktop and now I have aids.
[+6] u/Tillfatfire: He is going to announce end of war and strike missiles with April fools excuses.
[+6] u/eskhalaf: Putas is calling my name
[+6] u/followedbymeteor: Imagine mango has a draft board on display and the board is set up with income brackets 0-5k, 5k-15k, 15k - 30k and the people getting drafted are basically everyone making less than 80k
[+6] u/cnhonker: 🥭 is going to giving a long ass speech about securing the enriched uranium they are not gonna find. Iraq deja vu all over again.
[+6] u/AndThisGuyPeedOnIt: He's going to walk out with the new Ayatollah and they are going to profess their love for each other and that they are both retiring to go open a bed and breakfast.
[+6] u/ColCrockett: We going to the moon literally 🚀
[+6] u/Nice-Difference8641: In a way it’s kind of brilliant how the US has a system where a wannabe dictator can still be vetoed by the stock market
[+6] u/BladeRunnerN9: To the moon… but like literally
[+6] u/aftherith: April fools! All the money you lost is back and you have a girlfriend!
[+6] u/Altair82: What if he announced new tariffs on all NATO countries that didn't help
[+6] u/Bam2458: The US obviously can’t invade Iran over Easter weekend, Kegsbreath is hosting Kegs n Eggs in his mother’s basement on Sunday.
[+6] u/ithastogoupfromhere: bought puts for tomorrow
[+6] u/incaseofmisuse: I have to wait until 9pm to know if my puts die tomorrow or not. the fuck am i going to do for hours here.
[+6] u/insertnamehere-----: So hyped for trump to say in the new speech that the war is 100% over, then when people realize it’s not he just yells: APRIL FOOLS DUMBASSES
[+6] u/dissected_hedgehog: At American museum of natural history in NYC, there are large pictures from the first moon landing. They are very high resolution, and entirely breathtaking. You can see the moon surface down to the pebbles. The astronauts took hundreds if not thousands of such pictures. Loved going through them. Very excited about all the moon missions!
[+6] u/Recent_Register_2952: Gonna say war is over on April fools day
AINT FOOLIN ME!!!
[+6] u/horseisahorse: Rocket launch is nice and wholesome
[+6] u/Pure-Sunshine: Such a weird time to go to the moon
[+5] u/Bootygrange69: SPY 560p 4/30 - buy contracts tomorrow after TACO’s hallucination speech tonight. See you in Valhalla.
Edit - I will return in the morning with proof of my position so your mom knows how lucky she will be on our upcoming date night.
[+5] u/tika_dengu: we should attack penguin island next and install a new emperor penguin
[+5] u/Mediocre_Pangolin572: AFTER IRAN WE NEED TO TAKE THE GALAPAGOS ISLANDS I WANT TO SEE SOME PENGUINS.
[+5] u/Sam_Vicious2: Artemis to the mooooon - literally
[+5] u/jasperCrow: I get the sense that any news other than a ceasefire and the market will tank tomorrow.
Buy the rumor sell the news type shit.
[+5] u/doolytokki: russia is like..
so.... u buy my oil
and u stop giving ukraine weapons and support?
winning!
[+5] u/Nice-Difference8641: mango is sending humans back to the moon for the first time in half a century and all he can talk about is his totally ending soon war and the market
[+5] u/spacemoses: Dude is just gonna announce Trump brand gold spray painted combat boots are now required for the military or some shit.
[+5] u/Alwaysfavoriteasian: I don't understand pron today. It's like cuck and stepsister stuff. I guess I got left behind.
[+5] u/Competitive_Ride: Equivalent of farting in an elevator before leaving
[+5] u/TheGeoGod: Crater tomorrow? Down 2%?
[+5] u/Yousoldmetohigh: Smells like bear sweat and bull piss in here.
[+5] u/EnginrA: That’s what my balls smell like rn
[+5] u/clubdirthill: Hopefully they still have the “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED” banner in a back closet somewhere still to reuse.
[+5] u/AcademicStandard3701: You guys got any of them penny stocks?? Spy acting flat as usual
[+5] u/jasperCrow: Is it just me or is April fools day a bad day for a rocket launch?
[+5] u/bespoketrancheop: Why does this all feel so dodgy
[+5] u/danyallah_: Staying up till 3am Europe to listen to an orange ask for sex questions
[+5] u/Bam2458: Alright guys just to keep the speech fun every time he says “ballroom” take a drink and every time he says “ceasefire” short the s&p futures.
[+5] u/WingedScapula420: Tomorrow I’ll probably be digging a grave for my puts. Maybe also my hopes and dreams.
[+5] u/oh_no_i_wont: It’s gonna be the Trump Weekend Pattern. He will announce de-escalation today causing the oil to drop and equity to go up, then invade Kharg Island over holiday. The WSJ just posted plans to seize uranium and there are way too many forces in the region.
Save your cash, buy energy after the speech dip.
[+5] u/Questing4Greatsword: I went from
‘pls pls I’m sorry ill never gamble again just give me my life back 😭😭😭’ to
‘😎 im the best gambler ever and my cock is ginormous 😎’
In those last few hours of play
[+5] u/Leather_Mention5916: Mango: April fools, Epstein files are just a joke LOL! Lets forget them and move on!!
[+5] u/TreGet234: I'm terrified of inflation. The official number is clearly a huge understatement. At this rate we will all be poor soon and stocks just do minor damage control.
[+5] u/Dbestinvest: WFH on WFH off….we are about to be on again..fuel rations
[+5] u/NewlyOld31: Watch this speech have zero to do with Iran lol probably going to be hyping up the shuttle launch.
[+5] u/octopus4488: I trust the Pres Pump as much as you guys, but I did buy some oil futures as a hedge.
Oil might creep lower if he just goes on a pointless rant, but if he announces some deluxe level stupidity, then oil goes up BIGLY.
[+5] u/Oneok-Field: My buddies who gave me a heads up on the initial war / strikes told me they have no idea what trump is going to say tonight and "I don't think he does either"
[+5] u/Bazzer82: Usually reputable source: ... will use a primetime Oval Office address Wednesday night to declare that the month-long war in Iran is winding down, against a backdrop of [spiking oil prices](https://www.politico.com/news/2026/03/31/white-house-discuss-150-oil-00853465?nid=0000014f-1646-d88f-a1cf-5f46b7bd0000&nname=playbook&nrid=0000014e-f117-dd93-ad7f-f9175c2a0000) and [increasingly dismal poll numbers](https://www.politico.com/news/2026/03/30/trump-approval-drops-midterm-fears-00851001):
[https://www.politico.com/news/2026/04/01/trump-to-declare-iran-war-is-winding-down-and-others-need-to-resolve-hormuz-00854265](https://www.politico.com/news/2026/04/01/trump-to-declare-iran-war-is-winding-down-and-others-need-to-resolve-hormuz-00854265)
[+23] u/fartpooppee420: The President is gonna shit on nato tonight in his address, tell europe to figure out the strait themselves, abandon the gulf, therefore beginning the ushering in of the CHINESE CENTURY
[+19] u/dontslambro: The was a sweet ass launch. Congrats NASA and to all those who worked their ass off for that. God Speed
[+19] u/sauronII: My prediction for speach tonight:
25 minutes of boomer rambling, shitting on nato, praising the army, 10 minutes of shitting on sleepy joe and barrack hussein, talks are going well, lovely pen, they are begging for talks, ballroom drapes, we have won the war, there is no war, strait of trump, great great bestest administration.
stonks gonna moon
[+17] u/apurimac777: Can we fuckin 25th amendment this guy? Grandpa has clearly gone beyond full retard
[+16] u/jerky-: Saw the Artemis going by from my yard. Pretty cool shit
[+15] u/MeeseShoop: This launch is the best use of my tax dollars in like 2 years
[+14] u/Crazy_Donkies: There isn't enough beer in the Midwest to get me to watch the speech. I'll check my tickers at 7am to see what to think.
P.s. NASA is still cool after all these years.
[+13] u/parallelogramm3r: Someone call the moon and tell them to hide their oil
[+13] u/Frosty_Promise8050: Imagine if he announced his resignation. It would be the most bullish day in history. The sheer volume of alcohol sales alone would be epic....
[+12] u/good-times-: *rocket launches*
*everyone wondering if it will blow up*
[+12] u/pinghing: Mango's going to livestream the invasion at 9 PM isnt he?
[+11] u/PropheticMurmurs: Listen very carefully.
Whatever $RKLB opens at tomorrow, buy calls 2 points OTM 0DTE right away at open.
It'll be a 5 bagger before the end of the day. You're welcome.
[+11] u/octopus_serenader: space stonks mooning AH
https://preview.redd.it/yk0wmc4hrnsg1.png?width=829&format=png&auto=webp&s=cb5e9fdae35d0da1c0dc2008d20ef44514ccfac9
[+11] u/b1mm3rl1f3: So DJT is making a big announcement tonight and they're interrupting all programming to air it? Literally shaking in my boots. I'm about to be really poor
[+11] u/svpa3991: Careful, I just got my tax returns. I can move this market bigly. I didn’t work a year at shake shack for nuthin
[+10] u/GreenGameboyColor: Y'all were fools before April
[+10] u/AllianceOrTheHorde: Another day, another reason why NASA is the best agency ever
[+10] u/wildcat1055: Imagine flying so close to Kid Rock's house and not even launching a rocket
[+10] u/FeverTreeCloud: Drinking 🥃 Game during 🥭s Address Tonight
You gotta take a sip every time he blames Biden 😤
[+10] u/Brodieischeese: Just make the boats go around the straight smh.
[+10] u/ayashifx55: Everyone’s talking about tonight’s speech. He’s going to talk about how thanks to him, there’s nasa , space expeditions and how he helped design Artemis under his leadership
[+9] u/LengthObjective2253: Balls of steel to have tons of fuel lit under your ass to fly to the moon!
[+9] u/diefy7321: At least Artemis was pointy as hell
[+9] u/wildcat1055: Literal rockets going up and you're buying more puts?
[+9] u/Loud-Solution-6118: Fellow Ghey Bears of Hormuz, we will have our day again
[+9] u/laurencenor: We have 0 doubts that tomorrow is going to be another red Thursday right?
[+9] u/jerky-: Flatearthers in shambles
[+9] u/Muted_Wasabi_1284: Speech is scheduled for 20mins. +1000 for him to say the word ballroom. Gotta be free money right?
[+9] u/Exciting_Day4155: Can't wait for 🥭 to tank the market in less than 2 hours. 🫠
[+8] u/RaybanQA: Nice launch good luck team.
[+8] u/TomatoSpecialist6879: Everyone is so certain that it's a boots on ground announcement, would be funny if it's going to be more one sided "Iran begged us for a ceasefire so we will end the war for now and pull out, mission accomplished"
[+8] u/diefy7321: They’re gonna locate best spot on moon for those data centers
[+8] u/Wrath_FMA: Risking 8% of my account that we hit at least 650 tomorrow
[+8] u/octopus_serenader: reminder with the upcoming SpaceX IPO that its CEO ran an inept, destructive government department that charged like a bull in a china shop and fired tons of people at NASA, so there was definitely reason to be nervous about the launch and this whole mission.
[+8] u/Unemployable1593: i’m gonna cancel Netflix i think kinda blows
[+8] u/RussianRAF: the market is red tomorrow
[+7] u/ThermalChaser: Playing Kerbal Space program for real.
[+7] u/AgitatedJump8459: Was actually nervous for this launch
[+7] u/Waiting4Reccession: >US Drops Sanctions on Venezuela’s Rodríguez as Ties Improve
Its literally the same people in charge though lmao, bribe mustve been good.
Feeling like the 9pm talk is going to cause a big red day tomorrow.
[+7] u/Liquidtears: Why’re the visuals on the Artemis launch so shit?
[+7] u/sytena10: At 9 he will announce that we're invading the moon
[+7] u/Full_Boysenberry_198: Artemis astronauts to push deep into Uranus after this mission
[+7] u/friendshabitsfamily: Successful space launch seems bullish
[+7] u/ChickenYip: imagine holding calls and seeing futes collapsing right now!!
[+7] u/whydouhatemecablegod: those astronauts will be so disappointed when they find out the moon is fake
[+7] u/GuyFaulks77: Bears wiped out lmao no mercy from bulls
[+7] u/Antique_Cabinet8416: he's gonna be big mad the rocket is getting attention lol a phallic object that can go straight up with no catastrophe is gonna send him into a primal geriatric dick measuring contest rage
[+7] u/FuckleUp: 🥭 speech sponsored by Taco Bell 🌮 🔔
[+7] u/Molten-Helldiver: Markets sleeping until the address
[+7] u/Dorkasteri: Bondi, Hegseth, Vance and Leavitt catching some heat lately. 🥭 clearly not happy how things are going.
[+6] u/good-times-: Literally to the moon
[+6] u/Cantthinkofacoolnam: LUNR going to $0 crashing
[+6] u/neverseengreen: 🥭 gonna change the name of the persian gulf to gulf of america 2
[+6] u/ArkAngelEV: no crying in front of the casino.
[+6] u/Mumblage: “The big beautiful spaceship” book it
[+6] u/Solid-Season9984: Watch 9pm come and go, april fools!
[+6] u/Godzilla_slayer: He’s going to declare victory without the straight being secured and the market will hate it.
Then over the weekend send boots on the ground.
[+6] u/apurimac777: Straight's closed bros and no more rate cuts, stagflation incoming
Spy 800 EOY clearly
[+6] u/gmon333: “But seriously, if you, if you didn’t have me, if you had some different type of a president, you wouldn’t have Israel.” Donald Duck today This is hilarious 😂😂
[+6] u/hadizadam: Ok time to leave the bots are going to start spewing the same shit and over for the rest of the night
[+6] u/Prestigious-Craft251: Calls on the Strait of America being announced tonight
[+6] u/whitepug: He is SOOO scared of having a worse market than biden 😭
[+6] u/nebuloushazybull: I can’t fucking wait for Dune 3 🙌🏼 best movie series of all time
[+6] u/Organic-Grocery: Holy shit we’re actually going back to the moon
[+6] u/WhiteCollllarCrime69: 'Tonight, I'm making a little speech at 9 o'clock.
And basically, I'm gonna TELL EVERYBODY HOW GREAT IAM'— 🥭
#BULLISH AF
[+6] u/M_from_Vegas: Any thoughts on what 🥭 gonna say tonight?
Mission accomplished?
Troops on the ground?
Withdrawing from NATO?
ALIENS? I hope its this one
Epstein file news? Lmao what files
[+5] u/Zfreezy: Agenda just leaked. Sorry to all the dumb dumb bols 🫵🤡😂
[+5] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: I got a sweet new toaster so, yes, I am better than the average ber
[+5] u/Damandalorianway: Safe to say we got a jewish president before gta 6
[+5] u/Kirko_Cousins: SpaceX production quality >>> NASA
[+5] u/Ninja_Cooter: 0 to 10000mph in 6 minutes is lit
[+5] u/Comfortable-Rule-491: Buying RDDT puts on Reddit while browsing Reddit. It’s the circle of life, and it's beautiful
[+5] u/GuwopGOAT: Iran should have the Georgia State Patrol out in the Strait issuing tickets and collecting fines.
[+5] u/Dismal_Suit_2448: If Trump capitulates tonight then oil is going to skyrocket!
[+5] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: The 🐂🏃♂️ to SPY 800 has started
[+5] u/whydouhatemecablegod: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ut729170L0M](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ut729170L0M)
3 min to launch
[+5] u/PropheticMurmurs: Oh look, RKLB is already mooning.
Told you to buy $68 calls 1DTE today.
Gonna be a nice 5 bagger tomorrow.
[+5] u/techlogger: You don’t need to sign peace if you never declared war in the first place. *Taps head*
[+5] u/IamyourfantasyX: Man I got this idiot I work with messaging me with “the collapse is starting”. I really hate this fucker. Please go to the moon so the mf can stfu!
[+5] u/Brodieischeese: It’s so joever for bulls, literally look at the past months chart and you’ll see it’s a perfect reflection of what’s happened literally every week after mango lies to pump the markets a bit, 635 or lower by tomorrow close.
[+5] u/Broad_Front7788: Elon definitely fired the nasa media team
[+5] u/Careful_Response4694: Iran's toll system seems to be very low throughput. They are actually escorting the ships by naval boats.
https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/3/26/tehranstollbooth-how-iran-picks-who-to-let-through-strait-of-hormuz
Doubtful they can hit 100/day without some kind of ezpass setup.
[+5] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: It makes no logical sense but my gut feeling has changed from boots on the ground to a nothing burger tonight
[+5] u/broke_person: Was gonna calculate what networth is after two green days after being down so much. I'll wait until tomorrow in case it's -5% day
🥺🤡
[+5] u/jday112: Im pretty bullish about this speech, he's tryin to ease us outta this thing
[+5] u/rollsroysebaby: I watched the artemis stream. As soon as they got to the part where the earth was not supposed to be flat, they showed a picture of a fake spaceship.
believe it or not, calls.
[+5] u/NativePlant870: Thursdays are always blood red
[+5] u/Napster-mp3: It’s no 🧢 wild that all Iran wanted in order to open up the Strait was tableside, handmade guac and a Whataburger franchise.
[+5] u/MakeOSUGreatAgain63: Tomorrow is almost guaranteed to be red
[+5] u/good-times-: “Spy nuked”
Spy -.1%
[+5] u/AllianceOrTheHorde: It's over... Jonathan the tortoise has fallen. Doom is upon us
[+5] u/EyeSea7923: Classic MM pump and dump, just in the green this time lol.
[+5] u/financiallythriving: Imaging being all cash and waiting for the “big one”
[+5] u/HeadMasterpiece9372: Trump about to hit us with the greatest april fools that the world's ever seen
[+5] u/InevitableAd2436: How insane would it be if the launch was just a front and Trump was really just tryna go at Iran on the creep
[+5] u/Jadeclone1: how can there be peace if iran is still firing missles
[+5] u/TyroneSwoopes: Speech leaked or is that just 🥭s diaper
[+5] u/jmc774: Bondi next then hegseth. 🥭 is culling the herd
[+5] u/iBeFlying676: He will say absolutely nothing new tonight that we don't already know of. Come on, fool me 10 times shame on you, fool me 11 times shame on me.
[+5] u/Khalbrae: Keep enjoying the slow steady rise of my XEI stock that barely was effected by the drops the rest of the markets took and I am still very ahead.
[+5] u/hugaddiction: War is over, time to buy! …April fools
-Trump
[+5] u/hiohiohiza: Futes flatter than my grandmammies gourds
[+5] u/sauronII: Advice for all traders here: try not to get drafted too soon. Iran starts being nice during jasemine bloom, but up until end of august it‘s too hot to really go outside and enjoy it. So if you can‘t be done by end of may, go for september.
[+31] u/TheMightySet69: No straight man that has ever lived has been this obsessed with ballrooms. Really makes you wonder.
[+24] u/mtol115: "President Trump’s speech on Iran is expected to outline that the United States may need to use ground troops to secure highly enriched uranium that has been buried deep in the country’s mountains" - Fox News.
[+23] u/SenileOldDude: Lost over 200k in a single trade yesterday. Been extremely depressed and woke up in cold sweats this morning. I’m so ashamed and disappointed. I know everything will be okay, but fuck man.
Edit: only have 5k to my name, withdrew it this morning. I’m a high income earner, so I can recover it all in a year or two. Going to get some therapy to get my shit together.
[+19] u/AdjustDeezNutz: Boots on the moon is bullish, but boots on the ground is bearish.
The duality of boots
[+16] u/Remarkable_Owl: This is going to be just like that shit before Xmas: he’s going to rant at us for 20 minutes and nobody will have any idea why the fuck he did it.
[+16] u/darkspherei: Kegsbreath is calling for booze on the ground
[+15] u/trsx5: Trying to short oil futures and got met with 5 immediate green candles. So thats the last time ill be doing that.
[+15] u/Equivalent-Quail138: Lmao, he's actually gonna drop a bunch of Army Rangers into a hostile foreign nation and make them dig around in the dirt for days
[+15] u/AdjustDeezNutz: Since everyone has puts, he's gonna walk out with the leader of Iran and start making out on stage. Spy is gonna go up 10% over night and now bols are gonna be called gay.
[+15] u/triwyn: you guys have always been nice to me. don’t come to the market tomorrow.
[+15] u/Xs2experience: I hope nobody gets hurt but I also need boots on the ground announcement tonight for my puts.
[+15] u/strip_club_dj: 🥭 sends troops to recover their uranium only to find a completed nuclear bomb with a countdown timer and a sign that says surprise.
[+15] u/The_real_Covfefe-19: Politico: "Trump to layout plans for drawdown in war with Iran."
Fox News: "Trump to layout plans for ground troops to take Iran's uranium."
Trump: "I have a little speech tonight at 9pm to talk about how great I am, pretty much."
We live in hell.
[+14] u/Poptart_Salad: Apparently we, or rather Israel, attempted to assassinate another Iranian diplomat today, killed his wife instead. Gonna be tough to make a deal with these people like this.
[+14] u/daisymoth9: i hate when i have to shit at work and the stalls are empty. as soon as my pants drop 3 people walk in
[+14] u/youbenchbro: "During tonight’s Address to the Nation from the Oval Office, U.S. President Donald J. Trump will inform the American public that the deployment of ground troops may be necessary to end the ongoing war and round up highly-enriched uranium in Iran, sources tell Fox News."
[+13] u/Twelvesthegreat: US is 100% invading Iran, who are we fooling, 🥭 isn't gonna abandon Israel. The only question is whether they're doing it today, during easter weekend, or perhaps next week.
[+13] u/G0RD0N_CLARK: Will the FIFA Peace Prize be visible on the desk during the address tonight?
[+13] u/clarky2481: [https://www.whitehouse.gov/releases/2026/04/president-trumps-clear-and-unchanging-objectives-drive-decisive-success-against-iranian-regime/](https://www.whitehouse.gov/releases/2026/04/president-trumps-clear-and-unchanging-objectives-drive-decisive-success-against-iranian-regime/)
Clear and unchanging objectives?
Australian here, does anyone believe that shit? We are getting bipolar announcements every day.
Wars almost over and we have all but won, just ignore the aircraft carrier and 5,000 troops being sent to the gulf right now?
confused as hell ngl.
Calls?
[+12] u/Solid_Direction_8929: Damn.. this thread is going to be fun in the next hour or so =))
[+12] u/kryptonyk: The amount of pure rumors swirling right now is WILD
[+11] u/Invisible_Pony: Plot twist: Rocket is tied to Iran. Iran lifts into space. Strait of Hormuz gets all weird-shaped.
[+11] u/jda823: So is this just gonna be 20 mins of rambling / run-on sentences like the last one in January or whatever
[+11] u/Sharon_Jarris: He's gonna declare victory and make rest of the world deal with Hormuz, it's pretty obvious. But degens gonna degen.
[+11] u/Due-Dirt-8428: If you see any poster board shaped objects on easels under white sheets next to the podium you better say your fucking prayers lmao
[+11] u/Maximum-Cash7103: Boots on ground to secure Uranium. Calling it now.
[+10] u/Common_Ad_3059: 🥭 at 9pm conference. We the united states has declared final victory over iran 🇮🇷 , they have no ships, no drones, no missiles. Nato stinks, so I declare that we officially withdraw.
[+10] u/ZaraBloom418: Down $50k this year so far, shit hurts real bad
[+10] u/RollofDuctTape: If he says the war is over and the U.S. is pulling out and going home the market will love it.
The market will be totally fine with someone else solving the problem, even if 🥭 created it. In fact, it might like the fact he’s not involved better.
The worst case scenario is if he announces boots on the ground. Then we’re fucked.
[+10] u/PimpCforlife: BREAKING: Scott Bessent says oil prices will only go higher from here on out, citing his extensive knowledge of bottoms.
[+10] u/Sharon_Jarris: half of you gonna go broke tonight and the other half in debt
[+10] u/Dramatic-Morning-100: Pres to Iran govt: You're killing thousands of your own citizens! We have way more efficient ways to do that, let us help.
[+10] u/tombrady011235: What kind of boots? Timberlands?
[+10] u/J_da_CPA: Bro is going to blame Obama for this war
[+10] u/givemethestars000: My fellow Americans, we bombed the moon and sent astronauts to Iran.. wait a minute...
[+10] u/Burrow-Owl: We used to at least win the opening phase of wars against rubble hut countries but 🤡🥭found a way to fuck that up too.
Still calls because everything is retarded.
[+10] u/strip_club_dj: Artemis 2 is cool but also depressing and a reminder our country, and humanity as a whole, could be doing so much more than the bullshit we have been doing.
[+9] u/ComprehensiveList936: XOM CALLS, SPY PUTS, BUTT PLUGS
[+9] u/tmos2421: Waiting on this speech is equivalent to betting the coin toss of the Super Bowl
Open the casino.
[+9] u/poopy_wizard132: I'm a simple man. When I see someone using bold and emojis, I downvote.
[+9] u/Thebaxxxx: Tomorrow gon be flatter than hank hills ass
[+9] u/wyudtix: Latest reports are saying he’s announcing boots on the ground to get the Uranium. Bols r fok
[+9] u/kinkyhentai69: He must feel so great having all the attention for himself from everyone anticipating 9pm
[+9] u/GuiltyShirt3771: Are they gonna dump tomorrow?
[+9] u/Basic-Kale3169: I sold everything and bet on a red day tomorrow. How fucked am I?
[+9] u/Leading_Form_8485: Oh shit, I think hes gonna announce boots. That'll be crazy
[+8] u/Emergency-Ticket5859: Trump gonna put nicki minaj in charge of Iran
[+8] u/Anchises1: just bought 1.24 trump coins in anticipation of tonight
[+8] u/Pure_Veterinarian374: Imagine not having cash on the sidelines.
[+8] u/jakeisarake: It really is like gambling with this man in office, will he announce tariffs, boots, free hookers for anyone holding nvda shares?
[+8] u/shindiggaa: 🥭 announcing a major ground invasion on April fool's day would be insane
[+8] u/juicyjay27: My mom just started “trading”. She put like $10K into Voo and QQQ. She is very excited. I told her, mom watch 🥭 speak to see how your stocks will react. She just texted me: “they are bending down”.
[+8] u/Antiwhippy: Fox basically confirmed ground troops and oil is falling???
[+8] u/dUjOUR88: Is there a prediction market for how many lines will be plagiarized from the speech in the Independence Day movie?
[+8] u/Waste-Head7963: Upvoting every Kristi Noem’s husband comment 😂👍😂👍😂👍
[+8] u/Inevitable_Gainz: The $200B was just for hookers, cocaine, and crab legs. Obviously
[+8] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: it's true. I was touched in unspeakable places
[+7] u/Twelvesthegreat: You've been used as exit liquidity 🫵🏻😂
[+7] u/kryptonyk: They’re really putting the toll in ayatollah
[+7] u/TimmyTimmyTurner98: The roast of Europe begins tonight at 9pm
[+7] u/Oldschoolhype2: Imagine being 🥭 speech writer. You know that dude got prediction bets loaded already.
[+7] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: During tonight’s Address to the Nation from the Oval Office, U.S. President Donald J. Trump will inform the American public that the deployment of ground troops may be necessary to end the ongoing war and round up highly-enriched uranium in Iran, sources tell Fox News.
[+7] u/Dawnoftheman: I’m soooo damn excited for this meeting
Wsb is about to be lit
[+7] u/daddysgirl794: Gold absolutely ripping again this week
[+7] u/Dawnoftheman: I dropped money on mango to say “ ceasefire” on the prediction markets cause I’m an addict I guess
[+7] u/shindiggaa: I'm guessing he's going to announce war plans for Cuba and Greenland next and declare victory over Iran
[+7] u/Just_Learned_This: We're totally going in
[+7] u/givemethestars000: the strait doesn't exist. its a fake strait. fake war. fake news. i have nothing to do with it
[+7] u/jersey856: if you're still buying prediction markets after the insider bs thats we've seen, there's no helping you. check yourself into the asylum and begin licking windows asap
[+7] u/ZaraBloom418: I am the accountant who closes the books but management has had me covering someone’s 5 hour a day task for the past week.
I finally crashed out at noon, emailing my boss and my bosses boss I can’t do my job and hers
My heart rate was at 90 and I was fucking fuming. Not sure if I regret the email
[+7] u/Even-Square-6246: 🥭 is never on time we’ll see him at 10pm est today
[+7] u/Maximum-Cash7103: 800k bet placed on boots on ground lol
[+7] u/lolb00bz_69: fuark offf KAAAAAANT
[+6] u/Dawnoftheman: It shouldn’t be
I’m a victim
[+6] u/TheRealArmament: Another day watching bers get absolutely molested W
[+6] u/shakazuluwithanoodle: Trump: "April fools"
mic drop.
Greatest april fools never seen before in history
[+6] u/Sharon_Jarris: Leaked: Boots on the ground to secure Iranian timber to print all that paper
[+6] u/Apfelmoes_: end of war announcement already priced in so it can really only go down
!banbet SPY -1.5% 1d
[+6] u/purtatoes: baron's shaky hand positioned over the buy button as he looks at his watch and waits for t minus x minutes until showtime
[+6] u/Flat-Focus7966: NIKE needs to add AI to their shoes...
[+6] u/Sengle473: I like white noise when sleeping, does mago talking for 3 hours help with that?
[+6] u/Affectionate_Cook455: As long as he does not claim that he is Jesus, we are fine.
[+6] u/ymi2f: going down bigger than Noem's hubby's tits
[+6] u/throwingitanyway: did trump announce the invasion yet
[+6] u/jda823: 30 mins til -3% futures
[+6] u/sami_regard: Pre announcement already dumping. I think it’s bad announcement.
[+6] u/Boomer_With_Dementia: Show some respect for that poor man, he is married to a women who deals with her failure to train a dog by shooting it, is openly having an affair, and took her reasonable looks and traded them in on some gruesome face mask.
The man is bound to have psychological damage by being with her, whatever he does to get by let him be.
[+6] u/tmos2421: 1.53 put to call ratio for SPY tomorrow? Yeah 🥭 gonna pump it more
[+6] u/Voltthrower69: Hes is gonna say they need ground troops to take Uranium lol! What is that gonna do for calls
[+6] u/OkRecommendation1040: I wish I could go back to July 27, 2025. Maybe then I wouldn’t have to live with the guilt of what I did
[+6] u/orangeyougladiator: Told AI not to make any mistakes and it deleted itself
[+6] u/spellbadgrammargood: *I miss covid lockdowns.*
[+6] u/Maximum-Cash7103: It’s either he states we are going in, or deflects and sends troops in either way. It’s smarter for the market if he deflects, lies and goes in. But idk if he will do it again
[+6] u/Ihateporn2020: him taking up commercial programming time is sus. I almost think he wants to upstage that old "we got him" Osama Bin Laden announcement.
[+6] u/redditdoesnotapprove: waiting to see what happens in this speech before i make any moves going forward
[+6] u/Nightkill02: Barron common man...we know you're here. Tell me how fucked my calls are tommrow.
[+5] u/Rodriguezboy1: Flat earthers wanna explain that
[+5] u/Civil_Building_9650: !are you a russian bot
[+5] u/avdvetf: can someone explain to me why a grown man would want to cosplay with giant tits and how his wife wouldn't notice the giant melons in the closet, idgi
[+5] u/HandsOnTheBible: Guess what day of the week Bush announced the [start of operations in Iraq?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xWyxbcW7IGo)
Take a wild guess
[+5] u/Justzyn_Jefferzyn: Have recently become fascinated with New York Ironworkers, specifically during the 80s. They kept expanding the city to new heights without using many safety measures at all. These great men didn’t build the financial capital of the world for you to suck your thumb while the dip is there to be bought!!
[+5] u/Curious-Visual4525: Market expecting good news.
Remember the good news/gift of the ships Iran let pass that was a total lie? That's what i think he will do again just lie and make some stuff up so the market goes green over easter.
[+5] u/Basic-Kale3169: That motherfucker better not ramble for 2hours and declare the end of the Biden war right fucking now!
[+5] u/Red_V_Standing_By: Watch it open flat tomorrow and stay flat.
[+5] u/whatislifebruh: Pump tonight on fake mission accomplished speech to set up a higher low for when we invade on Good Friday
[+5] u/whomakesthetendies: I do not like this price action
[+5] u/idontknow1967: Hilarious that the futures market is just holding its breath for 9pm
[+5] u/badmattwa: I didn’t want to say this. The motherfuckers bought yellow cake
[+5] u/Samjabr: off-topic: Some psycho just tried to get into a road rage battle with me. I pulled over to see if I was going to have to bust a cap (I am, after all, from the South)
This half-wit's child was strapped into a kids seat behind him - Literally called him a retarded psycho for acting insane with his baby in the car, and I drove off
Wtf is wrong with people
[+5] u/maximuminimum: Opening remarks released: Aya-Tolah Kho-Manay… he died like a dog, he died like a coward
[+5] u/purtatoes: wake up there are literally zero women in this thread, never has been
[+42] u/BrunoTMC: Basically confirmed everyone's worst fears:
\- There is no strategy
\- There is no exit plan
\- There is no goal
\- The war is not over
\- There are no peace talks
Cool cool cool
[+30] u/Pury101: No way the fall of Rome was as stupid as this 🤦
[+27] u/Outof_ITM: Mr. 🥭, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
[+23] u/Subspace13: Oil is going to get to the moon before Artemis at this rate lmao
[+23] u/Smuvmuniz: It’s going to be a bloodbath tomorrow bulls will feel how I felt on Monday
[+21] u/SnoStrm: Buddy called a nationally broadcast presser to reiterate that we’re running military operations in Iran.
[+20] u/jsie-iaiqhsi816278: announce itll be 2-3 weeks via tweet:
market up 5%
announce itll be 2-3 weeks via podium:
market down 1%
[+18] u/Wonderful-Smoke843: god he is actually retarded
[+18] u/Haunting-Window-5125: This is definitely the set up for a ground invasion
[+18] u/Natarian86: BREAKING: HORMUZ STRAIT WILL OPEN BY ITSELF MAGICALLY
[+17] u/br0botic: This whole pump the last two days was the biggest April fools joke of all time by monetary value
[+17] u/Pury101: RIP to those who yolo'd into calls today
[+17] u/StockB0Y: If this shit opens green that's it for me
[+17] u/King_Tyler: I hate this fucking retard
[+16] u/justlosinmoney: It’s gonna be a nothing burger knowing this fucking asshole
[+16] u/eileyle: Here you are betting whether Trump is going to end the war or not.
Trump is going to give a word salad press conference and at the end we're all going to be interpreting his words like they're hieroglyphics on an Egyptian pyramid and we'll still be confused tomorrow morning.
[+16] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: DID HE JUST SAY WORLD WAR 🤯
[+16] u/Deadsea3132: bro naming world wars and forever wars 💀 thats not helping his case
[+16] u/pacific_b: If I performed like this at my job I’d be on a PIP in like 36 hours
[+16] u/JuliusCaesar121: What the fuck did I just watch? This man is genuinely mentally retarded
[+15] u/Confident-Window4928: This is 100% a prelude to escalation
[+15] u/Rich-Badger-7601: Dude literally scheduled a 20 minute press conference solely to crash the market, fucking incredible
[+15] u/mayorolivia: He said they never called for regime change yet that’s what he called for when he announced the war
[+15] u/Subspace13: Trump was like,
Vietnam War - 11 years
Gulf War - 7 months
Afghan war - 20 years
Iraq War - 8 years
Iran War - ???
[+15] u/Ok-Thought-9960: Someone fucking release those files good god
[+15] u/Tacosdonahue: If another president hadn't been the first to drop a nuke he would have already done it.
[+14] u/420chiefofZEP: God who can listen to this guy talk without wanting to claw their own eyes out
[+14] u/yeahyoubored: Raise your hand if you’re embarrassed this is the best we can do ✋🏼
[+14] u/ClaytonRook: "The straight will open up just naturally" LOL
[+14] u/MoleculesImplode: \- explicitly avoids "boots on the ground"
\- uses past war timelines to make this war seem short by comparison
\- gave 0 strategic approach to what a "victory" means for Iran
\- "we will bomb them to the stone ages" literal next sentence: "we are negotiating"
yeah bears are gonna hella print
[+14] u/LaserBeamer17: Hahaha holy fuck the bull copium is insane tonight. Our Cheeto in Chief just said that the war has only been going on for a month and we will do what is necessary for however long it takes
[+13] u/Lardass_Goober: Kamala’s laugh was weird tho, amirite? /s
[+13] u/Illustrious_Job1951: Imagine going to the moon and remembering you left your oven on 😱
[+13] u/rojojoftw: Trump is going to have a 900 number on the screen and ask watchers to call in and vote on whether or not to invade Iran. Miss Cleo will also tell you your fortune and lucky numbers.
[+13] u/Confident-Window4928: Imagine he declares war LMAO
[+13] u/Rainbow_BeanPie: He’s breathing like darth vader
[+13] u/GalacticGreaseMonkey: Sounds like he’s justifying the impeding invasion
[+13] u/Long_Dong_Silver6: "Please Sir, finish the job."
[+13] u/ehwhynot-: Fuck genuinely feel so sorry for all the lives that are going to be lost because of this clown
[+13] u/Independent-Craft-46: Fuck it bring Biden back
[+13] u/br0botic: Oh brother, this guy STINKS
[+13] u/HonestScar7176: The fact that he brought up how long wars last should tell you everything you need to know.
[+13] u/camel_crush_menthol_: Tomorrow will be a bloodbath. No one is going to want to carry any weight into a 3 day weekend.
[+13] u/AutomaticAerie4672: Dude just announced to the world that the petrodollar is over.
[+13] u/Split_Seconds: This is boots on the ground confirmation. The moment he spent 10 minutes talking about Iran and nuclear you know he is in it for the long term.
No deal, no nothing. he will invade and attempt to abolish it.
[+13] u/enc-nyc: Everybody in panik mood for food while at look at my 10 ramen cases with calm lovely feeling
[+13] u/DijonNipples: 2% down day on spy tomorrow.
[+12] u/Fast-Reply6409: He's about to thank the bols for their service before sending them to Valhalla
[+12] u/housemoneyrocketship: How do I become an insider
[+12] u/2keyed: I quit porn but get no girls now I’m lonely
[+12] u/dash_trash4255: These events are like the Super Bowl of WSB
[+12] u/thehacktivist1: Polymarket has 80 percent odds he shits himself
[+12] u/tortillaface08: Does (R) standing for rambling retard?
[+12] u/aresev6: I can hear the boots.
[+12] u/rumblecatz: this country is so embarrassing
[+12] u/schbloimps: He just mentioned world wars lmaooo
[+12] u/DesignerSea494: Holy shit he sounds like he’s on death’s door.
[+12] u/CPA-hole: Oil market realizing Hormuz will not open naturally
[+12] u/SDeft3: The Hormuz will naturally widen through barrages of Iranian missiles eroding the surrounding earth. You guys wouldn’t get it. Regards
[+12] u/REBS6: Two weeks to flatten the curve
[+12] u/AegonTheMeh: I know this is said often with Mango
But that was one of the most embarrassing things I have ever seen. Wow he sounded absolutely pathetic
[+12] u/glutathionegod: “The oil in the Strait is so easy to take, a BABY could do it!” 🍼👶🏻
[+12] u/CarSharp5648: THANKS BULLS FOR THE LIQUIDITY
[+12] u/Pale-Silver-8178: Same way we got that 3% pump should be the 3% dump with lies.
[+12] u/ArsonDub: Does anyone actually believe this monkey anymore?
[+12] u/CanadianAbroad7: Here’s a short summary of Trumps address to the nation regarding Iran tonight:
He basically just reiterated a thousand times how they’ve decimated Iran, the likes no one’s ever seen before, the American military is the best the world has ever known, the American economy is the greatest it’s ever been and that they’ve achieved almost all of their military goals in Iran and it will be over “very shortly”. He also stated how the stock market was the highest it’s ever been and that it will return to those highs and go even higher when all is said and done and that it hasn’t even gone down as much as he expected it too, but they had to take this short necessary journey to Iran to eliminate the nuclear threat. He outlined how he’s not worried about the Strait and that it will inevitably reopen naturally after the US withdrawals and he encouraged other nations to go “take it” if they want their oil.
He then went on to say they’re going to hit Iran extremely hard over the next two to three weeks. Stating “We’re going to bring them back to the stone ages where they belong” and said said if they don’t come to a deal by the end of the two to three weeks that they are going to hit key targets, like power plants and other facilities.
[+12] u/EngineeringNatural20: !banbet SPY -2.5% 1d
[+12] u/GreyMatter22: Real talk guys.
It really is frustraing, in a trending market, we can make so much money off names like MU, WDC, CIENA, metals, semis, and so much more.
But this war of choice is going to not only wreck the stock market, but rising energy costs is going to screw us all, this is more likely to trigger a contracting GDP, and no one, absolutely no one wins here, maybe except Bibi.
[+12] u/bigmeatbag: WTF is the national security apparatus doing even letting that regard near a mic at this point?
[+11] u/Strong_Coffee_9999: Am I wrong in saying Trump's inner circle only seems to front run the rest of the market on bullish tweets/truths/statements from Trump? Futes being flat i.e. everyone being the dark suggests to me that whatever he's gonna say is bearish.
I'm retarded btw.
[+11] u/Confident-Window4928: Why is everyone so worried about boots being on the ground? What, do you put yours in the air??
[+11] u/bigmeatbag: Donnie looks like he might not even make through this speech he looks so bad
[+11] u/Puzzleheaded-Task498: whys he stuttering and slurring
[+11] u/PompeiiSketches: # "OPERATION EPIC FURY ****IS**** NECESSARY FOR THE SAFETY OF THE WORLD"
[+11] u/T-WrecksArms: Sounds doomy and gloomy. We are invading 100%.
[+11] u/OkResponsibility2470: Bro sounds like he is establishing pretext
[+11] u/thatavengersguy: my wife is now mad at me I am making her watch this rant
[+11] u/itsnotshade: Could you imagine.
No Israel?
Horrifying.
[+11] u/Saturn_winter: we're never fucking leaving this war
[+11] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: Doesn’t sound like this is over LMAO
[+11] u/Quick-Ad1830: Hitting hard for next 2-3 weeks. Not close to over
[+11] u/johnnylovelace: Mother of god he’s invoking the world wars
[+11] u/hoppergym: Dude is tanking the market with every word
[+11] u/ArcherLife3105: Mango is cooked. Really embarrassing for anyone who is still pretending otherwise.
[+11] u/FunInteraction9796: what the fuck was the point of that? no timeline or plan? but managed to pump oil? and dump spy?
[+11] u/Individual_Error_428: Diving off a cliff now
[+11] u/2tapbaptise: https://preview.redd.it/tztib205josg1.jpeg?width=588&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=495d317c012d70f0483bfdb0e62a2331504f9bcb
[+11] u/King_Tyler: It’s close to over but we are ending it very soon and it’s basically over but we will hit them with all we got and we already won but just give me two weeks
[+11] u/Money_Term8366: Did he announce anything important or did he talk about how great he thinks he is like the last time
[+11] u/nsfwnsfwnsfw33333: Holy fuck tomorrow is gonna be so fucking red jesus
[+11] u/Worth-Walk6265: The Oval Office portraits talk to him like Hogwarts paintings
[+11] u/Character_Pirate_152: I am such a fucking genius for holding my positions over night. Holy shit.
[+11] u/whitewashedsyrian: Sell off is fake because I have puts.
[+11] u/slothropdroptop: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+11] u/inevitable_fallen: A -5% day contagion incoming.
[+11] u/xeuropa: 🌮🌮🌮April fools bitches🕺💃🫠
[+11] u/WatchyT: he tried so hard to filter his words and not say NATO for polymaret
[+11] u/SuperSix: bols had 1 day to get out kek
[+11] u/HazardousRhombus: He just read his truth social posts on national TV. Clown
[+11] u/hermeskino715: Instead of SPY 700, bols new dream should be 150 oil.
At least you can pump there lol
[+11] u/Fantastic_Pirate3948: This shit is not ending. People under 42 prepare to be drafted
[+11] u/RB_7: SPY down 10% if he says fucking world war 3 LMAO
[+11] u/PretendAgency2702: War continues. Other countries must step in to get the strait open = please come help nato. Surprised we aren't pumping
[+11] u/Worried_Quarter469: I think what happened was his cabinet suggested he give a prime time speech since they are going boots on the ground
Since that’s what potus usually does at the start of a war
But he didn’t want to say any of that 😂
[+11] u/NotMe357: They should give him a seat on the rocket and make him leave this earth lol
[+10] u/Jadedtrader33: They gave you two days of fake green to get out and you bought calls. 🫵🤡
[+10] u/Mr-Bonnet: LIBERATION DAY 2.0
BERS EDITION
[+10] u/whitehypeman: Maybe he announces pants on the ground.
[+10] u/SalemKinkTrials: What if the livestream starts and he’s totally bald
[+10] u/Fast-Reply6409: Mexico will pay for Strait of Hormuz
[+10] u/GamblingMikkee: It’s over. -3% tomorrow
[+10] u/thatavengersguy: Bro just come to the fucking point man, up or down just tell us
[+10] u/mrjacketman0303: I am so glad i am drinking to this this is SO FUCKING FUNNY
[+10] u/AegonTheMeh: “We don’t need to be there”
Seconds later
“We had to be there”
[+10] u/DrElkSnout: We’re going in. This is going to be brutal.
[+10] u/DafuqIsTheInternet: Bro LEGITIMATELY what the fuck was the point of that address. Absolutely nothing was said this guy just wanted to hear himself talk on TV
[+10] u/NeighborhoodDry1821: lol that was basically saying we fucking invading to get the str8 open
[+10] u/briballdo: So boots on the ground confirmed 100%
[+10] u/Mountain_Snow3613: I'm 99% sure he just impromptu decided to go batshit mid-speech. JD and Rubio probably convinced him to de-escalate, but he can't speak for more than 4-5 minutes without threatening someone.
[+10] u/Deep-Ad-8525: It’s 2027 and we still saying the job will be done in 2-3 weeks.
[+10] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: Market is closed on Friday.
Boots on the ground this weekend.
[+10] u/CJKayak: "The Hormuz Strait is going to just open naturally," is my takeaway from this entire speech.
[+10] u/Upstairs_System_6257: This man just saved my entire portfolio, bless u retarded little guy 🥭
[+10] u/Deep-Ad-8525: Summary: no deal are being made, 4 more weeks of operation, hormutz remains closed, greatness, greatness, greatness
[+10] u/StupidCaricature: Remember when things were normal? Feeling nostalgic rn
[+10] u/ConfederacyOfDunces_: I don’t think people understand what just happened
There is a massive correction coming now
Holy Fuck
[+10] u/slothropdroptop: Really deescalatory stuff to calm the markets. especially the part about bombing them into the stone age and destroying all their energy infrastructure
[+10] u/VegetableAspect4331: Puts before closing was so obvious, so obvious i bought none
[+10] u/_ThisDickAintFree_: Gotta love how retarded bulls are. Lmaooooo
[+10] u/MoleMan199: The message was awful but the delivery was somehow worse…
[+10] u/HistoricalWinter9762: It’s going 2-3 weeks for the next 10 years lol
[+10] u/G-IDIOTTHEMAN: So two week special military operation got extended for another 2-3 weeks? What a 🤡 world.
[+10] u/PutVivid6052: But what about the gays of Hormuz? No one ever thinks about them 😤
[+10] u/decjr06: Crude ripping we r fucked thanks 🥭tard
[+10] u/SuperSix: its going to get worse btw
thank me later
[+10] u/Excellent_Dare6280: apes together, i also bought puts
[+10] u/Remarkable-Action708: I just feel horrible for the military families who gonna loose their loved ones. There is no way this thing ends without casualties.
[+9] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: #Will President Trump shit himself during the address to the nation Yes 60% No 40%
[+9] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: The eradication of my net worth is nearing completion.
[+9] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: Bye bye green futes LOL BULLS
[+9] u/wildbill4693: Tomorrow is either +2% or -2%. No in between lol
[+9] u/OptionsHuduga: She’s a 10 but doesn’t open up NATURALLY
[+9] u/LynchSyndromedotmil: “Open naturally” Bro this shit is going to open like a glass jar you purposely shoved in your rectum
[+9] u/Aware-Teacher5389: I still have ptsd from him talking for 30 minutes straight without breathing at his previous 9pm press conference…ah simpler times when gas was $2.75 a gallon.
[+9] u/suddenly-scrooge: Pre speech 10 minute insider trading window has begun
[+9] u/Mr-Bonnet: NATO = OVER
BALLROOM = NICE
IRAN = OBLITERATED
PUTS = **FUCKED**
[+9] u/PlandomeProwler: So basically the wars not over
What else did anyone gather from this speech
[+9] u/TranzitBusRouteB: so complete nothing burger? Just regurgitated some of his Truth Social posts
[+9] u/justlosinmoney: The fact that some of yall really fucking thought it would be over just proves you are actually fucking retarded
[+9] u/cresstheory2016: If the U.S. doesn’t “need” the strait, then why threaten them to open it?? Fucking dickhead
[+9] u/SmoothOperator423: Just got confirmation that Kid Rock won’t be there during the Announcement tonight but not details on Jake Paul
[+9] u/Micheal_Hancho: BREAKING: 🌮 TO POSTPONE SPEACH TILL FRIDAY EVENING
[+9] u/nullzeroerror: He’s been saying this same shit since day 2 dawg
[+9] u/TheLastKyuna: Oh we’re going in. He just said “I want to explain this to you, America, why this operation is necessary”. Since when has he ever felt compelled to explain anything to this country?
[+9] u/MoleMan199: Get to the point boomer
[+9] u/Assketchum1: This is painful to watch.
[+9] u/Economisty: Iran wanted a nuclear weapon like nobody had ever seen before.
[+9] u/kellyk311: Lol... y'all mfers really hired this tired ass carnival barker to run the show.
[+9] u/God_RL: I got 4 mangos just sitting on my kitchen counter and I'm just getting pissed off looking at them.
[+9] u/Arabian_Goggles_: What in the fuck was that lmao
[+9] u/Daveonaltair4: WHAT...THE...FUCK...WAS...THAT
[+9] u/Jolly_Cicada380: Why would you compare this to ww2 bro
[+9] u/dickwheelies: This address was for the geriatrics that can’t follow his truth social posts lmfaoo
[+9] u/ArchegosCapitalCEO: Bul you heard 🥭. Twerk anoos or get arrested
[+9] u/CrayonMayon: I think what he was basically saying is: buckle up, this is going to keep going. Also it's not our fault.
[+9] u/pussinbuuts: THIS WHOLE SPEECH COULDVE BEEN A TWEET
OH WAIT HE ALREADY DID THAT
[+9] u/Loan-Pickle: What the fuck was that?
[+9] u/theSongIsImGangsta: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+9] u/AirwickS: Never underestimate Trump’s capacity to make a bad situation worse.
Puts are about to print, baby.
[+9] u/Individual_Error_428: I see you retards bidding on fertilizers
[+9] u/Ok_Material3073: Look at oil futures... Wow.
[+9] u/National-Log5203: The bastard TACOd on the TACO
[+9] u/Consistent_Health_74: everyone will buy puts at open and it'll V at 1030am
[+9] u/AirwickS: Guy renovating your kitchen:
Listen it took 22 years to build the Taj Mahal. Parthenon, 15. Give me a few more months okay?
[+9] u/RedPiece0601: Fell for it again award
[+9] u/botistic: Need a -2% day to save my portfolio
[+9] u/Jeremy1013: watch candle to $660 and flush to 630
[+9] u/Fast-Reply6409: I remember when regards (me) would argue about resistance and moving averages when trying to time the markets. Not we're trying to guess what an 80 year old dude will say
[+9] u/Ethan0941: SHE GON OPEN UP NATURALLY!
[+9] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: UH OH HES COMPARING IT TO THE WORLD WARS HAHAHAHAHAHA
[+9] u/Normal_Tap3021: Fake ass market rallied 2 days straight for no reason
[+9] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: Why does he sound like we are about to nuke them?
[+9] u/Jdom666: gonna play guitar and jerk off, goodnight bros
[+9] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: Also market is closed Friday so everyone is gonna want to get the fuck out before the weekend LMAO CIRCUIT BREAKERS INBOUND
[+9] u/Kanute3333: I like this sub. You are all all right.
[+9] u/ElectricalGene6146: Nasdaq should be down 10% on that
[+9] u/Time-Cardiologist906: That was not a pro peace speech
[+9] u/Disc0Disc0Disc0: The fact there are people defending this guy is wild. Too much ego to admit they were wrong.
[+9] u/Axwe8: # surely one of u 19 million regards is a 'Boot on the Ground' can't we just ask u? 🤡
[+9] u/Jeremy1013: “insiders buying” as if they didnt already get loaded to the tits on puts since 1pm today
[+9] u/TheRealTruru: Omg this is so fucking low energy, oil to 200 in next 2 months
[+9] u/ChampionshipOdd947: Why does it feel like he's building up to escalation
[+9] u/Canadianinvestor1997: Bro said world war. All calls fucked Hahahahaha
[+9] u/Fit-Frosting-7144: He didn't say anything new. Just a detailed summary of what he already truthed 😅
[+9] u/tcmart14: It’s December 25th 2026. War has been raging in Iran. We havnt had gas to fill up our cars in 3 months. No heating, no electricity. We listen to mango fireside chats on our crystal radios in the evenings hoping to hear news but all he talks about is sharpies and short term pain for long term gain. For Christmas today, I gifted my two kids an extra branch I tore off a tree. Since it’s Christmas, we will splurge and burn two branches instead of one for heat.
[+9] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: lol if this is the AH sell off imagine at market open
[+9] u/jraiv420: -3% kind of Thursday
[+9] u/YungIrv: “America, you’re puts are fucked, goodnight”
[+9] u/Character_Pirate_152: Investors were not happy with that speech. Perhaps because he just threw all of his tweets together and had nothing new.
[+9] u/Namtabmal: 4% rally because of this???! Nothing has been accomplished and no deal is even close lmao
[+9] u/jnas_19: He shorted the market fuck me
[+9] u/AideApprehensive7441: No negotiations, no plan for opening the artery that supplies 20% of world oil, in fact plan is that it’ll just take care of itself? I’ve said this multiple times but Arab oil embargo: US was not producing nearly as much oil as now but lead to a global shock. 5 months of 7% decrease in oil led to 40% drop in S&P that took 7 years to recover. Oil is still the lifeblood of the economy
[+9] u/R1ckyB0bby_: “Back to the stone ages where they belong” treading a fine line there
[+8] u/arkeus1: Been repeating the same thing since three weeks.
[+8] u/gigilero: “It’ll just open up naturally” lmaoooooooo
[+8] u/PompeiiSketches: Classic 15 min pre speech pop
[+8] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: “They would’ve used them”
Lmfao
[+8] u/OrdinaryMix4013: THIS SHIT AINT NO UPDATE JUST REITERATING THE SAME SHIT BOY JUST GO TO SLEEP
[+8] u/Dry_Philosophy6148: Can someone translate for me? I don’t speak 🥭
[+8] u/Confident-Window4928: Drill baby drill. He’s telling you what’s gonna happen
[+8] u/Waste_Anything: There no way this is real life.
[+8] u/Newlife_40: Jesus, made 1k on oil futures in 10 seconds
[+8] u/Locke_____Lamora: 50/50 either you're fucked or you aren't.
[+8] u/CPA-hole: I wish my wife would open up naturally
[+8] u/orrangearrow: So right now, as we dream of green or red candles dancing in our heads.... a couple insiders already know and are making MASSIVE trades. Right now. While we type. The insiders are insiding
[+8] u/thehacktivist1: IS HE DRUNK?????? 🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌🤌
[+8] u/MoleMan199: He sounds nervous…. SPY 615 tomorrrow
[+8] u/Scar1203: God, he's laying it on thick before getting to the real news. Can't be good.
[+8] u/BelgianBillie: Doesn't sound like he is pulling out
[+8] u/No-Paint-5726: Sounds like justification for an invasion
[+8] u/tortillaface08: Cheeto pedo can barely read lmao
[+8] u/dash_trash4255: Waiting for Epstein to walk through those double doors in his boxers smoking a cigar
[+8] u/unhappyreach_: lol
Why he word the Obama thing like that
[+8] u/unusual_xyz: there goes the futes.
[+8] u/Jacobpapi: So he said nothing. WE WILL FINISH THE JOB
[+8] u/Long-Sector6282: He hop’d on, made god knows how much on oil futures and dipped
[+8] u/dopeadult: i’m 50% cash
but feel like that isn’t enough
[+8] u/day1kobefan: LOL THEY PUMPED THE MARKET LAST 2 DAYS JUST SO HE CAN SAY ITS BEEN GOOD
[+8] u/20people: Who believes this bullshit? seriously?
[+8] u/bigmeatbag: "No inflation" lololol
[+8] u/Fast_Garlic_5639: Ready to watch like 30-40 seconds then give up and rely on wsb for the speech
[+8] u/orrangearrow: This is me at easter dinner high as fuck talking to grandma
[+8] u/tastyfreeeze69: A good salesman builds value, before closing a deal. he can’t just say boots on the ground. He has to make us want it first, so much so we’ll be begging for boots on the ground
[+8] u/narowi: This cunts gonna put boots on the ground
[+8] u/CD274: Is he announcing a surprise invasion, Iran won't see us coming
[+8] u/Independent-Craft-46: Just say you’re Israel’s bitch already
[+8] u/Mr_ThrowAwayJohnson: Oil says fuk your calls
[+8] u/Hail_Zeus: LOL “rising oil prices has nothing to do with the conflict” this retard thinks we are just as retarded as him
[+8] u/Weak_Ostrich459: Bragging about planning on hitting civilian infrastructure is some crazy shit
[+8] u/Deadsea3132: Bro ended his speech comparing this to world wars 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 the jokes write themselves
[+8] u/No-Put2311: Soft launching the “no deal” invasion next week
[+8] u/br0botic: That speech could’ve been a Truth Social post
[+8] u/slothropdroptop: Think about the collective hours of human life he just wasted to read highlights from the last month of his social media posts
[+8] u/orrangearrow: Seems like an ill timed wet fart could be the end of that man.
[+8] u/Iknowyougotsole: 🌈🐻 guaranteed to print tomorrow
[+8] u/Nervous-Sky2414: Complete capitulation or the power plants get dusted.
This show is not over.
[+8] u/OneLeggedJaguar: I’m crying bro why did he feel the need to tank the market 😂😂😂
[+8] u/Ok-Professional1925: Green by 2029 don’t worry bulls
[+8] u/Oatmeal_Raisin_: Listening to 🥭 is so fn annoying, that i have to just read all the comments in here rather than watching. You guys literally comment on everything relevant promptly anyways.
[+8] u/wolfenstein734: Mango will use invasion to turn money printer on. It’s always about the printer
[+8] u/WrongIntroduction686: Trump issuing tariffs on NATO countries for not helping.
[+8] u/thehacktivist1: They are forcing him to give a serious speech, and you can just tell he wants to go off script
[+8] u/weewoowewoooo: Market ain’t believing this man’s bullshit anymore lmfaooooo
[+8] u/AegonTheMeh: Same shit as always
This could have been an email
[+8] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: Highest stock market ever !
[+8] u/Claypool_Floyd: NO INFLATION?!?!? LMMFAO
[+8] u/No_Somewhere3288: Meme of that thing cutting its own dick off.
[+8] u/myboywears: He’s straight up escalating
[+8] u/BurgerKing_Fuccs: I haven’t watched this man talk in awhile. This is craaazy retarded 🫠
[+8] u/mikeplaystennis: No way negotiations are going well with this speech
[+8] u/PuzzledLeader8941: He’s comparing this to ww1 and 2. GG bulls lol
[+8] u/Tacosdonahue: Didn't even mention the kpop demon hunters meal at McDs
[+8] u/clouts1: Btc crashing before spy. Thats a bad sign rip
[+8] u/Fast_Signature7684: my guy just said what he said on social truth and market is dumping? what
[+8] u/ConfederacyOfDunces_: Tomorrow is going to be a fucking blood bath
[+8] u/hermeskino715: And just like that...
#SPY IS RED LMAO
[+8] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: LMFAO WHAT THE FUCK DID HE SAY
[+8] u/ScribbleOnToast: If I'm understanding all this, my SPY puts for tommorrow are probably good?
[+7] u/barkwoofgrrr: Man that's a lot of lies in one sentence
[+7] u/yeedub: Why's he slurring his words
[+7] u/Emotional-Bag1398: THE PRESIDENT CANT EVEN READ AT A NORMAL PACE
[+7] u/RomanJohnWick: He is recycling the same sentences
[+7] u/InsaneBallsack: So Iran clearly wasn’t pursuing nuclear weapons. What was this really about lol, we accomplished absolutely nothing
[+7] u/Spok3nTruth: NEVER BEEN ANYTHING LIKE IT. EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT IT. 😂😂 How does anyone believe this same verbiage
[+7] u/justlosinmoney: You fucking morons thought he would back out like you Don’t send three carriers to back out
[+7] u/PompeiiSketches: Is he prepping us for a long war?
[+7] u/ArcherLife3105: How did Joe Biden lose a debate to this guy lol
[+7] u/ArcherLife3105: 25th the mango you fucking cowards
[+7] u/Mr_meowmers00: Somehow Tuesday and today's pump on the rumor of getting out of the war will be less than the dump now that the rumors were bullshit. Its the same shit we saw with the tariffs - announce a deal, market pumps, deal is bullshit, market dumps but less than it pumped. Infinite money glitch. Not for me though. I always lose somehow.
Anyways, 3 months from now and we'll be on to the next thing. ATH again by June.
[+7] u/SadDevelopment3049: Strange how every single thing is something the likes of which no one has ever seen
[+7] u/br0botic: “Stock prices haven’t come down that much, frankly”
We are fukt
[+7] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: #If you didnt hedge with puts today Im sorry
[+7] u/Beginning_Sentence69: Crazy to think how these movements liquidate portfolios overnight, any call bought OTM or even ATM is going to be worthless at open.
Pin the suicide hotline.
[+7] u/the_mind_goblin1: circuit breakers are very fucking possible tomorrow
[+6] u/edapalooza: Grab the strait by the p*ssy
[+6] u/johnnylovelace: Not hearing a lot of past tense conjugation that would express he’s wrapping things up
[+6] u/eileyle: You can turn the teleprompter off, he's clearly not using it.
[+6] u/baller1able: Bro this dude is hilarious idk wtf he talking about 😭
[+5] u/InterestingBase6286: This is a nothing burger
[+5] u/Queasy_Soil9646: Navy is gone. Air force is gone. Army is left that’s why we gotta go in
[+26] u/Acceptable_Bed_6033: https://preview.redd.it/0hlng8m3posg1.jpeg?width=360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c450d403c420c0d09a83c8cc94df82dab32d9ee1
[+26] u/Mindless-Week-1250: He was mad not enough people were liking his incoherent Truth Social posts so he made us all listen to it live
[+22] u/Brilliant_Object_847: **LOOKS LIKE THE SPEECH WENT WELL LMAO**
[+22] u/Bxdwfl: Millennials on route to their 5th financial crisis.
[+21] u/puffinnbluffin: Was basically him just tweeting out loud on television 😂
[+21] u/soup4br3kfast: Bulls calling bers morons for the past 2 days aged beautifully.
[+19] u/IcyLake2078: Bulls were so cocky yesterday and today. Time for some steaks
[+19] u/Vort3x7689: Oh man tomorrow is going to be bad like -3% day. Market was pricing in war offramp and end in sight he basically said escalation and at least a month more with basically no plan to finish it. If this continues for another month market will start to price in a recession
[+18] u/Force_Hammer: https://preview.redd.it/lkr0nty1tosg1.png?width=1408&format=png&auto=webp&s=f283fa503dd325501b5f6423eed9595be88bdef8
[+17] u/ebitdasga: How do so many dumbasses still believe he’s better for the market and economy
[+17] u/cat_herder4: People actually voted for this lol
[+17] u/NaturalFortune8397: somewhere out there is a bull who loaded calls after the past two days of 2.5% pumps and thought the speech would keep it going
that is greed
you’re done for
[+17] u/Beagle001: Aljazeera-Iran launches more missiles at Israel as Trump finishes speech
Shortly after Trump concluded his remarks, in which he claimed that Iran’s military capabilities have been all-but crushed, the Israeli military said it detected Iranian missile launches.
LoL
[+17] u/WideZookeepergame775: Whole world gonna be gone in 2 weeks, those astronauts are going to be real confused when they get back
[+16] u/vermilli21: This drill is for ants, I wanna see -3% on futures
[+16] u/Bxdwfl: Market getting crucified for holy Thursday
[+16] u/Comprehensive-Eye547: My dream is to hold puts during a circuit break
[+16] u/FinancialAnalyst250: That oracle layoff of 30k employees (18%) of its staff is not something that happens in a normal economy. I don’t think people realize how dark things are getting.
[+16] u/AusConsoleGamesLFG: Mango's speech at the end sounded very much like "this war will go on for at least months, but it will still be shorter than those other major wars and it's so worth it!"
In my country (Australia) they're actually sounding VERY MUCH like they're giving soft warnings about future "oil lockdowns" i.e only essential workers can travel - this is what people here are predicting, expecting further announcements after easter
I wonder if humanity will ever be free from evil, regarded "leaders"
[+15] u/1moist-towlette: World's most obvious rug pull
[+15] u/HFB_To_You: It took a truly, truly dumb fuck to mistake a mechanical short-covering rally on end-of-quarter trading window for resumption of a bull trend (& I say this as someone who called the vicious short-covering that was coming while SPX was red in AH Monday session).
And still some names are repeating that this is just a speed-bump and bull trend is back.
Noted.
[+15] u/DufflebagJoe: it's like a convict is in charge
[+15] u/eje0100: The market pumping the last 2 days was the most retarded thing I have ever seen. You fucks that bought calls rest in peace.
[+15] u/CoysNizl3: Entire pump is getting retraced tomorrow
[+15] u/Jebusfreek666: https://preview.redd.it/0ux4ry54sosg1.png?width=259&format=png&auto=webp&s=df8a3d383c5974dc1e8df7492959413812537604
[+15] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: This might not be Vietnam war but Agent Orange really do be fucking us up
[+15] u/JeronimoPearson: He basically called this WW III. Spy back to 632 tomorrow
[+15] u/Broad-Belt-5888: We should have more TV shows where people just go in front of the camera and do dramatic readings of their old tweets.
What a fucking bitch
[+14] u/puffinnbluffin: Msft going back to the stone ages with Iran
[+14] u/Top_Signature4068: 🥭 walks up to a cliff with his friend SPX..
“Hey SPX, you ever look down and just feel like jumping “
“No 🥭 definitely not.”
::pushes SPX off the cliff::
[+14] u/Commercial-Tart-7369: Are we gonna see a circuit breaker tomorrow?
[+14] u/Sidney_Godsby: lol the Bols were so arrogant, even when deep down they really knew too.
[+14] u/rampagepete: Oils back on the menu boys!
[+14] u/spudbro00: Load puts on any bounce tomorrow. This is financial advice
[+13] u/StonksInvesteur: Bro just showed up, continued his rants, told people how great he is, trash talked Europoor, and totally forgot about war updates. Where is my war update????
[+13] u/0DTEKing: Markets are going to Stone Ages and Oil is going to Mars 😂
[+13] u/Shoganai_Hito: Should’ve fucking knew it: 1 year anniversary of Liberation Day tomorrow; Apr 2nd 2026
Anyways, at least I have rice and beans ready to go for Easter weekend
[+13] u/FatFluffyFish: Did you not hear him?
Stock market wasn't as bad as he expected. HIs ber buddies aren't making enough so he needs to tank it harder
[+13] u/Available_Cake_8572: “US readies new pharmaceutical tariffs” lmao he really wants to dump the market
[+13] u/Fatt-Elvis: Doesn't Iran have a say in when this war will be over? Am I crazy? Taco treating this like a bathroom renovation
[+12] u/MrBlueEyedFox: If you didn't watch the announcement, here's the cliff notes... we are hugely fuk. Idk why Biden would do this honestly.
[+12] u/Blyrone__Blashinton: Anyone notice how he said we’ve kicked irans ass, we don’t need the strait, but if they don’t negotiate we’ll bomb their water plants? Why do we need to negotiate if we won and we don’t need the strait? Troops on the ground by Easter.
[+12] u/Appropriate-Good-358: Spy is down and dodgers losing. Doesn’t get better
[+12] u/MrBlueEyedFox: I have some oil on a paper towel from my dipstick. 800 dollars, no low ballers. I know what I have guys.
[+12] u/Maleficent-Couple-76: I can’t believe you retards thought a ceasefire was going to get announced tonight I mean really…
[+12] u/Tricky_Let2806: How the fuck is the war ending in 2 weeks but you’re gonna start bombing then “really hard” soon
[+12] u/Asleep-Strike4978: We are on drill baby drill mode
[+12] u/Efficient_Policy_176: Everyone been laughing at Bers, turns out they had the last laugh. Not so foolish of an April anymore innit
[+12] u/-TiV: BULLS HAHAHHAHAHAHAH 🫵😂😂
[+12] u/Not_KD_I_Promise: We are only 2 weeks away from being 2 weeks away from an update on how we are 2 weeks away from having an update that we are only 2 more weeks away from maybe winning
[+12] u/lax_street: #fake pre-market truth incoming at 7am EST.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
[+12] u/Peeeeech: Circuit breaker before the long weekend
[+12] u/marrful: throwing 1k on 0dte puts at open
[+12] u/TempusFugit314: 14k comments before midnight is always a good sign…
[+12] u/CoysNizl3: On my way to open the strait, personally. Brb guys
[+12] u/TrumpChildOnahole: The market is going back to the stone age! SAD!
[+12] u/Left_Register5548: Think about this long and hard. Friday is Good Friday so no trading. Boots on the ground is inevitable this weekend and he just gave that stupid speech and yall still bols? LMAO
[+12] u/Drokeep: 🥭 pearl harbored the nikkei😭
[+12] u/AgnosticAbe: I didn’t sell today. Fuck my life man
[+12] u/LemonRomeo: https://preview.redd.it/h5ynqnuerosg1.png?width=1224&format=png&auto=webp&s=7242bd0c054b5b93478b0303b301df1ac1018841
[+11] u/cream_cheese_tits: feels good to be a 🌈🐻
[+11] u/cat_herder4: That potential rate cut in Dec is nuked. Here comes a hike
[+11] u/UntiedStatMarinCrops: Yeah these oil traders are retarded. I could have told you that no negotiations were taking place and that we are going to be bombing for a while.
[+11] u/Whatevs56: If Bulls want the strait open why don’t they go open it themselves.
[+11] u/sailorsmile: This market is the biggest cuck to 🥭 ever, the last three days were just pure hopium
[+11] u/Awkward_Resolve_9511: If you had bought calls prior to EoD today, you deserve to be chemically castrated for the betterment of all humanity.
[+11] u/patelchief90: this mofo might be biggest piece of shit on the planet. forget stock market he’s hell bent on making poor people suffer in other countries and has complete disregard for what high oil and natural gas prices can do to a poor street vendor that’s just trying to survive
[+11] u/These-Shoulder8017: Time to put on my rubber titties.
[+11] u/hioman01: Why would Biden do this over and over again?
[+11] u/Boheed: it's probably good and healthy that the US stock market is really just a live presidential approval rating
[+11] u/ssaxamaphone: circuit breakers tomorrow. whew lad
[+11] u/oldprecision: So this is Trump 2.0 COVID.
[+11] u/DFW_BjornFree: Damn all my puts that I bought back today would be soooo fucking deep right now...
Missed out on like 20k fuck me
[+11] u/severed02: That speech probably went hard af if your IQ is room temp
[+11] u/PuzzleheadedChef7437: I am confused, did you guys expect him to suddenly become not an idiot?
[+11] u/SKJ_2012: Thanks to 🥭 my calls are now COOKED WHY TF could he just not say we are done with iran, going to have to go back to day trading shares to make up for this
[+11] u/Atti_: please iran parliament dude, tell us what to do
[+10] u/Efficient_Policy_176: Most obv bull trap I've ever seen, can't believe anyone even fell for that. Watch SPY retreat back down tomorrow, -3%.
[+10] u/Sad-Airman: Jesus, bulls had 2 days to exit and instead they gloated and bought more calls
[+10] u/Apenation42069: Asia is crashing now
[+10] u/BullfrogLevel2087: Oil chart looking like that NASA rocket took the last oil left on earth with it 😂
[+10] u/JohnnyUtahMfer: I’m at Kid Rock’s house and I can hear a helicopter circling.
[+10] u/poorat8686: So back to the bottom tomorrow or what? I’m glad I sat this one out my bet was incoherent bullshit and flat
[+10] u/Acceptable_Bed_6033: Oil is going to keep running up until the strait is opened
[+10] u/cowboycookie1337: If you think today is bad just wait until we invade on Easter!
[+10] u/lobsterspider: If this is your first bear market, yes there are random pump days
The trend is still down for longer
[+10] u/nyc-for-lyfe: iran can inflict maximum pain right now by only allowing tankers through for free if they used yuan as the preferred currency
[+10] u/music_is_gud: Some of you guys are extra funny today. That's why I love this place. Buncha regards gambling their moneys away and be happy about it.
[+10] u/poorat8686: Spy at 420.69 again would be so fucking funny
[+10] u/WocketWaccoon: It’s ber season baby
[+10] u/MrBlueEyedFox: I dislike bers. However I do miss seeing the Clifford emojis everywhere on red days.
[+10] u/AggieDem: I think Iran took it personally...
[Warning sirens sound in Bahrain](https://aje.news/1jg6hu?update=4454874)
[Iran launches more missiles at Israel as Trump finishes speech](https://aje.news/1jg6hu?update=4454864)
[+10] u/Unlikely-Evening2919: congrats bers, you won. remember to always zoom out, otherwise you will lose your money
[+10] u/Pikachumon25: Orange you chimp why didn’t you talk yesterday when i was loaded with puts
[+9] u/yushey__: so a fucking nothing burger speech
[+9] u/I_am_Nerman: I bought all the fertilizer at Home Depot and Lowe's. Gonna make bank this weekend selling to desperate farmers.
[+9] u/alldawgsgotoheaven2: He’s such a sociopath fuck
[+9] u/lSazedl: Yeah mentioning the World Wars is a great idea
[+9] u/MomentPrestigious180: Dude is like the personification of implied volatility.
[+9] u/Outrageous_Tip_2133: We have concepts of a plan to end the war in 2-3 weeks.
[+9] u/Interesting_Leg8859: JUST PUT THE BOOTS UP MY ASS BRO
[+9] u/evanthe-winner: All the “green by open” people are funny. Reminds me of being on the wrong side of an earnings play, watching my calls disappear in the AH, and praying for a miracle green open
[+9] u/Axonum: REVERSE TACO THURSDAY
[+8] u/cat_herder4: Bols it's ok to make money on the way down too.
[+8] u/igotthis_man: What a scam pump it was today rip
[+8] u/Massive-Assistant387: What you’re not hearing , is “we’re done, we won, our troops are coming home”
[+8] u/SnooRegrets6428: Dumb bots dumping on the same bs. Nothing new
[+8] u/swampassOG: Tired of women using me for my body
[+8] u/jreddit712: say it, just say it ....
big booty Latinas on the ground
[+8] u/Small-Row-9495: Who thought this speech was a good idea
[+8] u/ILoveWesternCenter: Me thinks jobs report gonna be shit 😂
[+8] u/Independent_Name_601: Still is 2 weeks away
[+8] u/6hchill: we said the word MOON
[+8] u/Stellewind: You can hear the defeat in his voice.
[+8] u/ExpertParsnip8875: dude is stalling hard
[+8] u/redhed16: Comparing the length of this to WWII. oh good.
[+8] u/FunctionOk8962: Japan good luck with those oil puts
[+7] u/browsk: Did he just read us his own tweets and say good night lol
[+7] u/jonlmbs: His speech was just a regurgitation of his last 2 weeks of Truth Social posts. No new information
[+7] u/MrT_IDontFeelSoGood: lol imagine being in Asian markets and having a slurring 80 year old tank a green day in an instant
[+7] u/AwarenessRoyal4717: MIDNIGHT DONKEY HAMMER
[+26] u/Castopliani: imagine how terrified Iran would be if we had some kind of semi competent leader
[+25] u/Fancy_Cattle_5914: People dedicate their lives to studying markets and businesses, just for the tweets and ramblings of an orange retard to be the only thing that matters.
[+24] u/KindfOfABigDeal: Remember there are bulls on here, real living regards, who voted 🥭 man. Not bots, actual living people with almost functioning human brains, KEK.
[+23] u/CigInside: People thought we just moved 20,000 people over there for lolz?
[+21] u/tikimandude: "If you want pussy, just grab it. It's easy but we're not going to grab it for you" -🥭
[+20] u/wrongrobertpatrick: I don’t like this dystopia nightmare that’s becoming a mixture of Idiocracy, the running man, Children of men, 1984 and now, unfortunately, Dune
The spice must flow man
Orange man float
Full port oil
[+20] u/Castopliani: what if 20 years ago someone told you you would spend your days watching a line move to the right on one screen and a dementia patient rambling on another screen
[+19] u/Rosella2562: Me last night: *Looking up luxury apartments*
Me tonight: “Hey chat is it safe to eat bread past expiry? Can you cut off the mold?”
[+18] u/gayteemo: are people done rationalizing this president yet
[+18] u/carrollart: SERVICE GUARANTEES CITIZENSHIP
Would you like to know more?
[+18] u/afx_288: Goddammit im starting to talk like you guys. Long term exposure to WSB can lead to some dark places...
[+18] u/United-Hearing-8286: Probably the greatest part of the speech was listing all the wars the US has been he can think of and how long they lasted-as if it was a good comparison
[+18] u/wrongrobertpatrick: My favorite part is when he started listing how long each war took and oil fucking began to climb a lot faster
[+17] u/No_Fig_7835: High oil prices is just what our economy was needing
[+16] u/Spiritual_Taste_1253: People really saw SPY jump $25 this week while the war was escalating and thought that wasn’t going to come back down lmao
[+16] u/Character_Set3454: If spy hits 214 tomorrow my puts will break even
[+16] u/jijitalk: Can we get a -15% day tomorrow so that stupid regarded coward 🥭 gets scared to shit and 🌮 out of the war? I’m getting sick of this bs.
[+16] u/zacht0626: My $645P for tomorrow are looking splendid rn. Might be my first 10 bagger
[+16] u/baristabull: 🥭 The strait is gonna open up naturally, you guys 🤌
[+15] u/CenturyLinkIsCheeks: lmfao i just saw that iran sent a missile barrage at israel at the conclusion of the speech
[+15] u/Dude_HaHa: # Buls are just insufferable sons of Bihh
# "Lambos"
# "Papa Leather jacket"
# " Believe it or not, calls"
# "Ree"
# LMAO GET BENT AND HOLD THESE NUTS!
[+15] u/CantaloupeSea48: Goodnight regards. I'm sleeping well knowing my shorts are printing almost as much as the Federal Reserve.
[+15] u/Devastaytah: Will I finally be able to see the fabled circuit breaker tomorrow?
[+15] u/PWT_Mer: Stock market aside, I am pretty scared right now.
[+15] u/cashivyy: Imagine China jus invades Taiwan for the vibes
[+15] u/Dude_HaHa: * Expensive gas coming
* Expensive jet fuel coming
* Expensive groceries coming
* AI supply chain disruptions coming
* Inflation coming
* Rate hikes coming
* Real estate implosion coming
* Lost decade coming
[+15] u/No-Dust-1722: Bulls were swinging their dicks around not two days ago. One 🥭 ball tap and now you’re all quiet?
[+14] u/SHUT_DOWN_EVERYTHING: Great job Americans putting the most regarded of regards in charge of it all.
[+14] u/wtfsamurai: Bols actually thought… lmao 🤣
[+14] u/Kattilaeikka: What a trump & dump
[+14] u/Still-One-1665: I feel so stupid buying yesterday after hours
[+14] u/Overall-Fold-9720: LMAO, market reacting like it's a surprise we don't have a ceasefire or some shit
[+14] u/zNatural: The retarded mongo man
[+14] u/Slow-Information-847: Buy oil in every DIP! We sent the whole house to the region, 2 amphibious assault ships, 82rd, 31st, 101. They are not have a vacation in the desert Boots on the ground soon.
[+14] u/masegesege_: I bought calls so probably circuit breakers at open.
[+13] u/OnceALoser: We will have ten red Thursdays in a row if we close red tomorrow.
[+13] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Lol bul r fuk
I would know, I am bul
[+13] u/nvidia69420: Lmaooo on the 1 year anniversary of the great tariff crash we get the great Iran war crash 😆international SPY discount day 🤑
[+13] u/jontestershaircut: Beautiful speech mr pedo.
[+13] u/rioferdy838: What the fuck. What did orange tard say now?
[+13] u/Guhbigly: Lmao imagine the country of Japan getting margin called on their oil’s short 🤣 can’t make this shit up
[+13] u/IndependentOk9075: His 6am market pump tweet is really going to need to have some juice to it.
Maybe he’ll release the Epstein Files to distract us from this mess.
[+13] u/Cutalana: i use this subreddit as my personal zoo, I open it up and see what the gambling addicted monkeys are typing
[+12] u/r4rLIC: full on attacking Iran for basically no reason(yes they bad guys but not a threat to us) might be the biggest unforced error I’ve ever seen.
[+12] u/Cashmoneytendies: I don’t think you guys understand how vicious the sell off will be tmrow
[+12] u/WordsHappenedHere: Why did Joe Biden do this to us
[+12] u/Bad_Driver69: Instead of just chilling out, playing golf, banging Melanie... He's gotta throw gen z into the middle east.
[+11] u/CardiologistEqual336: April is always a circuit breaker month for 🥭
[+11] u/OnlyBols: Ber sniping bull.jpg
[+11] u/Expensive_Agency_902: Enjoy it bears. You deserve it
[+11] u/New-Length5593: And we still have USDJPY at 160? Oh yeah. FUCKED.
[+11] u/DrummerCompetitive20: were gonna crater tomorrow arent we?
[+11] u/Ok_Complaint_3589: #LMFAO @ GULLIBULLS 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 OMFG they fell for it again
[+11] u/Internal-Cut-5890: Please 🥭 say midnight hammer one more time
[+11] u/Yasqweenn: Everything will be ok bulls. RFK Jr. is here to sing you a lullaby.
[+11] u/veggieroll1up: Barron’s YTD must be wild
[+11] u/Xelonima: And one -1x trade away from $0
[+11] u/GrondForGondor: I’m about to get slapped with some pattern day trading. Someone hold my hand. It’s my first time.
[+11] u/Stonkrates: Dont need to imagine
[+11] u/perceptive_AI: Why does the market even need to hear from taco when we already know deployment is happening when a stripper went on social media to talk about it.
[+11] u/stupidber: Just when you think u not fuk u r fuk again
[+11] u/ring_of_slattern: Expecting some 🥭 bullshit tweet in the morning to V us but I’m enjoying the bol tears while this lasts
[+11] u/Lurk_Maximus: Bols ate steak and lobster just before the speech
[+11] u/solariac: Someone here definitely panic sold, bought back on the pump, and panic sold again today. Show yourself 🤡🫵
[+10] u/baconography: I'm seriously considering selling all my positions tomorrow and just going to stupid cash until this idiot croaks and his sycophants are no longer able to do this shit.
[+10] u/TheOriginalBushToad: Currently sitting on $10K of SPY puts and $5K of CVX calls. I'M FUCKING JACKED TO THE TITS!!!
[+10] u/LakeShowForLife24: Trump forgot about the battle of schrute farms in his speech
[+10] u/SighRamp: Not only am I holding puts over tonight but will over long weekend. Trump isn’t doing anything until Bibi says so and Iran been fighting for thousands of years it’s in their blood and Trump would have to admit defeat to get out. Not happening. Big Bear market Big Bull Oil
[+10] u/Lord_Kio420: How the fuck does someone have 226 comments
[+10] u/MoleWhackSupreme: NATO up 6% on news of 🥭 thinking about pulling out of NATO
[+10] u/Dabbymcgee69: See y’all at the breadlines 🥖
[+10] u/CardiologistEqual336: We were all exit liquidity for barron 🫡
[+10] u/chuastan: I know I’m in for pain tonight. I just saw two headlines “Europe rallies that war will end in weeks” and “us futures down on war that will continue for weeks” this market is crazy
[+10] u/Sea_Condition_6999: Huge dump on April 2, as is tradition. What's he going to come up with for next year.
[+10] u/BooBrew32: Bears eat sushi in Japan with their supermodel wife.
Bulls glumly eat rice cakes with ketchup for some flavor.
[+10] u/ExcitingPackage1301: market mooned 4% on slim hopes of war ending. mango today says it’s gonna go longer. market only dips 1%. what incentive does he have to end the war?
[+10] u/UsernameTaken_123: Diesel already at 5.5. The highest ever recorded was 5.8 during the covid inflation years
[+10] u/cruisin_urchin87: I want to thank every bol out here for convincing me to buy puts today. Truly, you are the heroes.
[+9] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: Really though no one’s holding anything during war weekend so stop being surprised every time the week ends red
[+9] u/CardiologistEqual336: Expensive petroleum 🪄🦄🧙♂️
[+9] u/jonneh: I have to apologize to the bers I verbally abused and made fun of in the lead up to this address. I really thought it was going to be bullish but I see the error of my ways now.
#
#
SIKE 🤣🤣 fuck u bers 🫵🤡
[+9] u/Coal909: Retardation is a disease, it's not your fault
[+9] u/Discount_LionSafari: Boots in the meat grinder by Easter.
You regards voted for this.
[+9] u/saw-it: Algos be like no one saw this coming
[+9] u/cheddarkittyy: Sold everything today. This is a gamble, I’m staying out of the market for now
[+9] u/ring_of_slattern: Breaking 🥭 news: we actually don’t even want the strait open and this is a good thing
[+8] u/rixxxand: "Just take it"
-Man who definitely totally didnt do anything wrong
[+8] u/legible_print: Imagine being a bear. Imagine praying for WWIII just so you can make $40 on a put option.
[+8] u/Gristle__McThornbody: Freaking the fuk out over here.
[+8] u/xjcln: Market makes no sense lol. Trump said nothing important but futures dropped a percent? Are ppl just realizing he has no plan? I thought we all already knew that?!?
[+8] u/iCancel69: They wanted a de escalation and he escalated it, not that hard to understand
[+7] u/South_Accountant4465: Wtf was that ? Did he just read all his tweets from last 30 days ? Why the fuck did he even do this address ?
[+7] u/Alatarlhun: Did Trump's nothingburger kill the market?
[+7] u/need_five_more_chara: $0.70 in nvda dividends is my only saving grace.
[+6] u/thenelston: so are my puts saved?
[+24] u/iTouchStuff: the real april fools joke was the rally
[+20] u/ae1uvq1m1: All he did was increase the uncertainty
[+19] u/poot-lover: SPY delisted tomorrow
[+19] u/boostlee33: This guy has early stage dementia forsure
[+14] u/gspach: guys, tmrw is going to the 10th straight red Thursday for SPX. first time that’s ever happened. could’ve just been YOLOing puts every Wednesday at close and raked.
[+14] u/KarmaWhoreCam: Hey bols, we still feeling as cocky as this morning? Lmao.
[+13] u/killcon84: Cash gang ready for this crash
[+13] u/Put3socks-in-it: Of course yesterday had to be the day my 401k added shares for the month
[+12] u/epyonxero: "it will just open up naturally"
[+12] u/nthnreallymatters: i think today could actually be the big move down
long weekend ahead, no one knows what could happen so they'll want to derisk
trump basically implying they're gonna go harder and maybe invade
real chance of -5% today
[+12] u/mods_ban_me: Ber team 6 we have green light
[+12] u/derprondo: GG bulls, cash gang sends its regards.
[+12] u/BarberQuarter: Bulls were so cocky today during market hours
[+11] u/AlmightyCheesusCrust: Cash gang feeling good right now
[+10] u/doctorqaz: Does anyone still believe anything that comes out of his mouth by now?
[+10] u/DingleJingle_: South Korea did not like that.
[+10] u/CasherburyTales: Good thing my grandpapie planted all those oil trees in the backyard
[+10] u/Ragnaroknight: Trump is getting more powerful. He learned that we always expect the TACO so everyone bought calls. So this time he decided to go all in on war, and shorted. The fake 2 day pump was to make sentiment look positive.
Genius play.
[+9] u/No_Weekend_3320: FOMO is the primary reason this market hasn't fallen harder
[+9] u/Vulthen1: Bers can have a look at a live market like Nikkei and give it a rub/flick before sleep.
[+9] u/Evening_Following802: Im going short on America
[+9] u/nthnreallymatters: any rational person would conclude that the market will go down tomorrow
calls it is
[+9] u/No_Zookeepergame_27: Why would Hunter’s laptop do this to us?
[+8] u/Tay_Tay86: And the war goes on. This is a we are committed speech
[+7] u/CLAMACID: this is beautiful but i still worry we open green. someone hold my hand
[+21] u/winston511: I’ve made a series of financial decisions in my personal life and in the market over the last 8 months that have so significantly impacted my trajectory in life I will never recover
[+16] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: # Bol so dumb they’re planning on buying the dip this Friday LMAO
[+15] u/2Frum4U: Trust the plan. There is no plan.
[+15] u/Specialist_Spite5930: I remember one Motherfuc*** here told me on Monday that Tuesday, Wednesday would be a rally, and Thursday would be a bleed.
Played QQQ perfectly until yesterday, loaded with puts today. I just wanted to say, Thanks Barron, and nice to see you on WSB
[+14] u/SquidKid47: It brings me so much joy to know stupid fucking bols who GENUINELY thought 🥭 was gonna do the right thing are getting reamed
Listen I don't like what's going on either but I'm not gonna bet money on 🥭 being the progenitor of world peace LMFAO???
[+14] u/CursedClownz: BREAKING NEWS :
MELANIA WILL BE "ESCORTING" THE SHIPS FROM HORMUZ
[+13] u/sturgill_and_co: My thesis: keep buying puts even on days like yesterday and today. There is no end to this war any time soon and those are just dead cat bounces on hopeium
[+13] u/A55BAG: 🥭 said in his speech that South Korea and Japan should open the strait.
Nikkei225 -2.37%
Kospi -4.4%
[+13] u/bozoputer: ah nothin - go back to bed
[+12] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: # Haven’t seen one bol since the fat orange opened his mouth last night LMAO
[+12] u/Nagalavonpelt: Some of you will be exit liquidity today and you fucking deserve it 😁
How you fell for mangos 🥭 bullshit two days in a row deserves to be studied.
Utter regards how could you not see 😂😂
[+12] u/LSF2TheFuckening: Oil really was just dipping down on pure vibes until tonight huh
[+12] u/srnx: Lmao why the fuck did I think Agent Orange might say something reasonable for once. Of course he's doubling down. Oil to $200
[+11] u/darahs: I found out today, trying to close a spread I had opened, that the options I traded are so illiquid now that I am 100% of the open interest.
I AM THE MARKET
[+11] u/winston511: I mean sure I’m retarded but how retarded are the markets to not see a speech like that coming? Did they think he was gonna bring out khamenei jr and and shake his hand with kid rock ripping guitar in the background? Fucking port is down 70% from October I thought I could sniff the tide turning but I guess it was just my asshole. FML
[+11] u/laddie78: Wait, you're telling me letting the strait open itself isn't a viable strategy?
[+11] u/MaresATX: Delete the app. Go outside. Touch grass. Sell plasma on the way there. It’ll be okay, fellas. Will it, tho?
[+10] u/S0Anon: Think im gonna cum no matter what
[+10] u/borkdpasito: Liberation Day 2.0 - oil edition
[+10] u/WayDry848: Nikkei -2.41%, not looking good broskis
[+10] u/Trashpanda7193: Got a 13 cent dividend payment from Nvidia. NEAT. Is this is what investing is all about?
[+10] u/wafflepiezz: Yes because you can lose your entire position within seconds
[+10] u/skin_flute_player: Bols constantly getting rugged makes me feel tingly inside lol.
[+9] u/Temporary-Alarm-744: There’s so many pro 🥭 slop bots out today. Something stinks
[+9] u/CursedClownz: Bolz are freaking out while they look for more shifts at wendys
Spy to 300
[+9] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: After all these stocks get sent to the shadow realm and everything calms down the dip will feed generations
[+9] u/ProudestPeasant: market said you get two fake green days bul
[+9] u/81458145: Is there anyone he hasn’t pissed off at this point?
[+9] u/fish_: wow it looks like my 4/10 630ps are gonna fucking print
[+8] u/Premier_Legacy: Bro stop saying World War 😭
[+27] u/daedalus_dance: Some of you voted for this and in 20 years you're gonna lie to your kids and claim you had nothing to do with it.
[+26] u/emergencyexit: A sizable portion of people in the US market really thought a demented grandpa was going to say some magic words to fix everything. There's so much further down to go it's unreal
[+21] u/Lazy-Presence725: We are witnessing the end of the US empire in real time lol
[+18] u/delicious_oppai: This is too fucking funny lol literally nothing changed except same rhetoric during a speech and suddenly market realize there were no peace talk to brgin with 😂🤡
[+18] u/FullRetard50: Bers in here prematurely celebrating, you fucks better not jinx my puts
[+18] u/twenty_three_three: Nothing like the President discussing the lengths of the world wars to instill confidence.
[+15] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: 55 years ago on April 7th, 1971 Richard Nixon addressed the nation telling the American people that his policy of "Vietnamization" had worked and the war was winding down.
It went on for 4 more years.
[+13] u/rasdabess: asia thank u, u did ur part, now its europe's turn to take us down
[+12] u/BenisSpaghetti: The little boy who cried Hormuz. 🗣️
[+12] u/Familiar-Explorer814: So many bools got April fooled yesterday…
[+12] u/zeren1ty: Oil just won’t stop ripping +8% sheeesh
[+12] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: If Orango didn't fuck up the war, the Arthemis launch would have been the biggest rally in the history of USA.
alas...
[+11] u/Jacobdlt: Sad he didn’t bring out a poster board 😔
[+10] u/xlmtothemoon: oh brother, this guy STINKS
[+10] u/urfatfatfat: if boots actually touch the ground we're all fucked
[+9] u/SeliciousSedicious: Hahahahaaaaa
*leans in*
I’m gonna call you a pedo now.
[+9] u/Bofa12313: Prolapsed bol bussy back on the menu again? Ouweeeee
[+9] u/Kashabowiekid: New lows Monday. For sure. Spy 620 or lower
[+9] u/bachmchvzw: Sooooooo happy I bought calls yesterday. Shoulda known Mango talking would make things worse, not better.
[+8] u/xpxf69: Right now: New Missile Alert in northern Israel.
Al Arabiya correspondent: Alerts of a new batch of Iranian missiles heading toward Israel
[+7] u/Practical-Health3455: 🥭 said FU bols, dropped 🎤 and walked away in slo mo towards his ballroom to dance YMCA with JD and the gang.
[+7] u/Agreeable-Spare9195: Well my 579 qqq puts look good…wish I got more
[+20] u/sandygws: WTI is at $107 and some of you regards think it's going to be a green day 🤣🤣🤣
[+18] u/UnDemen: When it finally happens, every bar in the country will be open until the early morning. It will be the biggest celebration in the nation history.
[+16] u/LoLFlex12: Yesterday morning : Talks are going great, a deal is coming soon.
A couple of hours later : We are sending them to the stone age.
You cant make this bs up, so disgusting
[+15] u/Consistent_Chart_664: You people thinking tomorrow is gonna be green are straight up DELUSIONAL. The only reason we mooned this week was anticipation we were gonna wrap this shit up. Donnie just said we’re going to bomb them to the Stone Age. That ain’t wrapping it up. Iran watched that speech and went well ok Western fat fuck, watch us to see if we’re playing.”’
We’re escalating from here and gaurens babarens oil continues to moon and equities continue to sell off. Best of luck fellow regards!
[+14] u/Everythingisokey: Only - 1%?? Excuse me but we pumped 4 % on bullshit
[+14] u/redegglamp: Trump gonna say something 10 mins before open and the algos will take it as gospel and fuck my puts, i just know it
[+13] u/itseran: Oil Futures suddenly remembered that everything is not in fact just gona be fine lol
[+13] u/degenerateGamblersz: Morning sell off going to insane
[+13] u/sonofalando: Just got back from Hormuz. It’s actually safer than you’d think.
[+12] u/ZombieDracula: The worst part of being right too early is going insane while the rest of the world catches up. The second worst part is losing all your money
[+12] u/falken2023: Oil casually making new highs every few minutes. 🤣🤣
[+12] u/_pout_: Pattern matches the 27th exactly. Selloff at open.
[+12] u/relyat33: Where all my earthquake bay area regards at?
[+12] u/KingRegardothe2nd: Amerifats moving too much causing an earthquake.
[+12] u/Mr_Compyuterhead: God I’m filled with so much hatred towards everything. I can’t take it any more.
[+12] u/Dirtsteed: I'm deceased. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
[+11] u/Alternative-Set3147: California earthquake priced in?
[+11] u/Me55y: I swear every day it's either "we're making great progress towards a deal" or "we're going to hit Iran extremely harshly they're fucking done". If not both at the same time.
[+11] u/Jay3377: If you think we're not closing deep red on a 3 day long weekend, you're clearly not a genius
[+11] u/ReconnaisX: hello bay area mfs posting about the earthquake
[+11] u/mangofruitdude: I miss sleepy joe. Just green after green after green. Amazing times
[+11] u/trainwreck001: ARTEMIS ASTRONAUTS MADE THE BEST MOVE. NOPED RIGHT OFF THE PLALNET. BOLS IN ENVY.
LOL.
[+11] u/jatomozem: Congratulations to those, who listened to that random Iranian financial advisor!
[+10] u/ArcDogRob: In an alternate universe: trans ppl are using bathrooms, there is no ballroom, and SPY is 800
[+10] u/New_Pilot3534: Why did he have to talk about stocks idiot
[+10] u/Everythingisokey: Market so retarded it would believe it for sure
[+9] u/Hot_Avocado_2701: People overreacting like always, literally nothing changed lol
[+9] u/BillyShears2015: What can 🥭 possibly tweet pre-market to pump it this time?
[+9] u/SinStockGuy: I just watched 3 hours of Bridgerton to finally get a titty shot. So what happened with the President's big speech?
[+9] u/bhmantan: then in the afternoon after Barron loaded with puts, "sorry, I mean 30 more days"
and SPY back to $630
[+9] u/gainsusmaximus: Did anyone think he was gonna declare ceasefire? 😆
[+8] u/mixtape312: Bols — you were the exit liquidity
[+8] u/OneLongjumping5743: WHY IS IT GOING DOWN
[+8] u/Packolypse: I have alcohol poisoning because I’m doing shots of beers every time he congratulates himself on a job he did at something
[+20] u/ice_tea555: https://preview.redd.it/5ge5imjb7rsg1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9491736201c71ad76cf6d97495fc643d3dc88dd3
[+20] u/MissMatriarch: BREAKING: White House Organises Egg Hunt! - Elegible adults between 18 and 42!
Location: Kharg Island, Iran
Time: To be announced, presumably this weekend.
[+19] u/Bokehmon_: Just put the fries in my ass bro
[+17] u/TrickyDickCheney: The market gave you 4 hours yesterday to buy the highs for the rest of 2026. Congrats to the new bag holders.
[+16] u/jlw993: People over retirement age shouldn't be allowed to work in government.
[+14] u/cyril1991: The beatings will continue until you are bankrupted.
[+14] u/joebeau99: Did people actually think the war was going to be over? This market is so regarded
[+14] u/LawWeird809: My portfolio got nuked back to the stone ages
[+14] u/River_Sandhu: I don’t understand analysts saying that America is insulated from this energy shock. Yes it’s more insulated than us here in Europe, but a chunk of American companies earnings comes from Europe etc. So while we get hit, American companies EPS gets hit. Which is fine if there’s been a drop in earnings projections, but as far as I’m aware that hasn’t occurred yet
[+13] u/nigofe: bUt hE sAiD wAr iS oVeR?! Ameritards be slow af
[+12] u/Bigamungus: Bulls watching a steamroller heading towards them in slow motion hoping the driver stops instead of just moving
[+12] u/DoubleSkew: #oil is the new hand sanitizer
[+11] u/EKUSUCALIBA: Even as a Korean I’m not touching our stock market with a 10 foot pole.. made money and damn sure keeping it that way by staying away.
[+11] u/holymolyratio: bols getting fuked, bers getting fuked, we’re all
fuked
[+11] u/llasar17: i wonder how many people just got caught hiding a secret cellphone when that alert went off
[+10] u/Prior_Industry: A 7 year old with concussion.
[+10] u/Spiritual-End7310: Invasion starts tonight
[+10] u/BuckChintheRealtor: Suddenly that "freak the fuck out and panic sell everything" Buffet meme don't seem so funny anymore
[+10] u/Reply_Stunning: isnt it shocking to you, for the 5th time, in war's 5th week, they claimed:
>"iran reached out for a ceasefire deal, we are discussing"
headlines, right after their insiders bought their calls.
Even in a sharp downturn thats been going on for months, insiders are still filling their bags. Retail investors and even the institutions are losing money
we are all transfering our wealth to a few fraudulent billionaires and laughing about it
[+9] u/Money-Will-1867: Tomorrow will close below 635
[+9] u/Frequent-Length-9966: Hello my fellow sleepless retards.
[+9] u/SergeantThreat: It’s very impressive to celebrate the 250th birthday of the American empire while it crumbles around us
[+9] u/ecoburner87: If I didn't know better, I'd think the Mango administration played institutional rebalancing day like a fiddle. Media played along, press conference announced, a 48 hour deescalation narrative was able to take hold, the market pumped like crazy, and he was able to get a market buffer to continue his escalation - now down we go
[+8] u/EpicWhaleSquad: One year anniversary of liberation day 4/2/25