▶ Full Post Text
[+16] u/Salty-Bid1597: How to blow a century of accumulated power in 18 months or less.
[+14] u/Isometric_exercises: Everyone's back to talking about Epstien. Wars over, stocks to the moon again
[+14] u/uncsucks: Don't trust this pump at all
[+14] u/LasyKuuga: #TODAY IS GONNA BE AN EXTREMELY PROFITABLE DAY FOR YOU
April fools
[+14] u/rcantu314: The selloff today will be biblical
[+11] u/abroadbroadband: His mind works in intervals of two weeks
If something doesn't happen in two weeks, we have to move onto the next thing
SPY 700
[+10] u/jamesjordisierra: Bols, use your brains, if 🥭 had good news he'd deliver them before market opens or during market hours, not after.
Sell your calls today or deal with the consequences 🫵🤡
[+8] u/thevolxme: Something feels weird today… and I love it
[+8] u/awetfartruinedmylife: This website today is full of bers and cash gang monitoring the situation on the ground to find any possible sign of further escalation
[+8] u/Emc79: Probably announcing he wants to leave NATO, because he's pissed off NATO did not join the fight.
Can someone give him the NATO handbook, because he seems to not know why NATO was formed.
And he seems to have forgotten the ONLY time NATO came to assist a member, due to it being attacked ,, was in fact the US, post 9/11.
The fact there has been relative peace in the majority of the Western countries can be attributed to NATO I believe.
This man's ego is just out of control....
[+8] u/The_Germerican: Yesterday: Short. Lose money. Short again. Lose money. Short again. Lose money.
Today: -crazy goofy- I'll effin' do it again!
[+8] u/gregzicstock: Good news from Trump tonight so that Thursday will be a green day and everyone will have a nice Easter weekend. Then boots on the ground on Monday.
[+8] u/Ragnaroknight: The address tonight is going to be about absolutely nothing. Every time he hypes one of these things up it's just him going on a rant about how awesome he is and all the things he's achieved.
[+7] u/WinstonBuddyBro: RIP to the legends that blow their account today. May the best regard win 🥇
[+7] u/Frozen_Shades: What the fuck? [Youtube just cut to a Special Report on Iran!!!](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ?si=m7NWgKG0E5O49S9P)
[+7] u/LongHealth: Calls on younger generation being single forever
[+7] u/LongHealth: When this war ends we can finally go back to the good times, where we learned pedophiles run the world and are trying to replace us all with AI. Glad we have a lot to look forward to.
Time to roll a blunt and try to forget reality for another day.
[+7] u/Appropriate-Gap-7799: Excuse me gentlesirs and ladies 🤓☝🏻 I, an accomplished Redditor, have studied the current state of the world and I do not think it makes sense that we're pumping.
[+7] u/bb483: most hated rally commences
[+6] u/Jolly_Marsupial1657: Fools day, only fools will deploy cash today
[+6] u/Fhyzikz: I am tempted to sell it all before close today
[+6] u/GittingerFredl: smells like cope in here.
Time to sit out a day.
[+6] u/CamOper: Anyone ask Barron what time the rug is scheduled?
[+6] u/ThrowRA-KB: Bols and bears poke fun at eachother but a 1% move in pre market 2 days in a row is fucking infuriating. Money for me but not for thee
[+6] u/zuziannka: Tesla pumped 7% since I bought my puts
[+5] u/ProudestPeasant: fuck it...another 3% day
[+5] u/Kind-Recognition4528: Bruh I shorted yesterday full port💀
[+5] u/Worried_Quarter469: With the US preparing options for a potential ground operation in Iran, Israel is unlikely to contribute manpower to the effort — a prospect that has drawn criticism among the American public but, experts say, reflects strategic calculations and operational realities.
The calculation: “l don’t want to die”
[+5] u/GittingerFredl: NATO and NOEM in trending tickers. lol
[+5] u/Star_Lord924: How's about this...SPY does another 2% + roday. Nothing crazy
[+5] u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister: Can't wait to see what kind of April fools' prank the IRGC pulls of today
[+5] u/DanqueLeChay: I, for one, am ready to be fooled again
[+5] u/FinePerformance1046: So was the 10% drop them pricing in boots on ground with no ceasefire talks or what? Or is Iranian taco just 5x more powerful
[+5] u/darkspherei: one thing I know for sure, no one here is making money today
[+5] u/WSB-mods-are-: It turns out the real April fools, were bears 🤡
[+5] u/According-Page8618: https://reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/1s81gg2/what_are_your_moves_tomorrow_march_31_2026/odejqzx/
this week will either break the downcycle if we go above 660 OR we will see 609 in april
[+5] u/Coley44: All you had to do was have cash spare for a downturn in the market. You had cash spare, right?
[+5] u/Typical-Layer-1253: Back to back 3% days woooooo
[+5] u/Sir_Grindalot: Bears are just bulls who want more cash on the way down to buy the dip.
[+5] u/Miserable_Brick_1154: Why can't there just be 1 chat thread?
[+5] u/Pazzaaaaaa: Mango is gonna say something stupid like “We’re not invading Iran, we’re invading Kharg island”
[+5] u/awetfartruinedmylife: I need this to pump beyond the point of no return in order to break even
[+5] u/Fun-Age-5749: The only thing bothers me is that oil is still up, basically nothing changed, Hormuz is still closed, Okay trump said 2-3 week and he ends the war, but he said the same about Ukraine war
[+32] u/Zachincool: Upvote this comment if you are pro at losing money
[+26] u/Mr_Pongo: I sold my SPY calls for a loss yesterday. You’re fucking welcome
[+24] u/MrsEveryShot: born too early for the Middle East
born too late for the Middle East
born just in time for the Middle East
[+24] u/dripdripto-death: The rug pull is going to be epic. WARS OVER in a couple of days and in the same day announces a 3rd aircraft carrier and more troops are headed to the middle east. TACO doing TACO things.
[+24] u/UnivalveX: it's really simple. we pump +3% on fake/unconfirmed news and dump -0.3% on actual shit news
[+23] u/Muted-South4737: "War for 2-3 more weeks"
"COVID will be gone in two weeks"
Same guy, for the record.
[+22] u/mannycalls24: Most hated rally I’ve seen
[+21] u/Any-Camel-9913: SPY now 6% away from ATH
so dumb 😂
[+21] u/Intrepid_Library878: pumping on lies and fumes. amazing
[+20] u/MrsEveryShot: I still cranked hog this morning but it was sadder than usual
[+19] u/aftherith: Why do I trade? I like the feeling that I could've taken my family on a great vacation and made wonderful memories, but instead I paid a ton of money to an algo that gives it to some rich guys.
[+17] u/Quick_Ad_5637: Too much optimism in the air with no positive news amidst tech layoffs... am I growing paws?
[+16] u/Own_Challenge_4967: It's crazy the market is pumping cause nothing has changed, there's no deal, the strait is still closed, and if the US pulls out the strait will still be closed cause why tf would Iran suddenly give it up
[+16] u/Ill-Expression1737: great ill be down 80% on my poots at open fck you
[+16] u/disrepaired: No point in switching seats on the titanic
[+15] u/Moepenmoes: Bull trap, you know it, I know it, everyone knows it, but none wants to hear it
[+14] u/Any-Camel-9913: everything up million % in 2 days
some crazy insider trading going on
epstein administration after all
[+14] u/CoffeePorters: Cathy Wood on CNBC hyping AI stocks. My portfolio is fucked.
[+14] u/civillyRange: Iran israely and US still blowing shit up war ain't over
Market - guess ill go up now
[+13] u/callsonreddit: Reminder
If market goes up even tho war, play the trend
This isn't about being 'right'. We here to make $
[+13] u/fire_alarmist: Mango address @ 9 tonight:
"Thank you for bagholding, we have hit our target for the short squeeze. The bigliest short squeeze in some time, not as big as our April but still big. Anyways, we have reset all the vix straddles and recollared key stocks. You will all be getting theta graped for another year while I piss and shit all over your economy and the market refuses to price any of it in. That gay judge that wont let me have my ballroom is scheduled for public execution at 11 AM tommorow. Anyways, Im about all tuckered out I think im going to go make love to Jeffery Epstein and his haram of fertile 11 year old WOMEN. Eat shit and die."
[+13] u/beachsandwichen: Maybe just maybe the market isn’t “reacting” to anything at all and we just like talking about this stuff like it matters when in actuality all that matters is what MM wants and if they need it up it goes up plain and simple
[+13] u/Disconn3cted: There's no reason to pump
[+13] u/Unique_Zucchini1041: Market will be at 660 today and puts will be worthless, I will switch to calls and market will dump, if I hold my puts market will just continue to have another 3% day
[+13] u/UnivalveX: 2 weeks of red reversed in a day and premarket lmao
[+13] u/enc-nyc: Zelensky Dress Code, renaming the Gulf, Doge, Ballroom, Epstein files, Tariffs, Investigations, Fed, Tacomobile, Charlie Kirk, Kids Accounts, NATO, Greenland, Bored of Peace, Golden Visas, Supreme Court, ICE killings, raids, Maduro, Taco, Melania, Iran - damn, that's kinda an intense schedule for just one year.
3 more to come! Are you not entertained?
[+12] u/UnivalveX: SPY 700 tomorrow at this point
[+12] u/Practical-Health3455: Too much hopium in here. I am dumping at the open. Puts it is.
[+12] u/DonCenote: Trump isn’t going to end the war.
He’s just going to keep telling everyone he is thinking about doing it soon because it sends the market up 5%.
Much better than actually ending it after achieving nothing except killing a bunch of people.
[+12] u/lobsterspider: Surely this will be very good news tonight since it’s being broadcasted at 9pm and not during market hours !!
[+12] u/rampagepete: The third carrier is just going to Iran for the War Afterparty
[+11] u/DogNamedFloppy: In the long run, 🥭 might be the best thing to happen to China.
[+11] u/whomakesthetendies: US leaving NATO is bullish apparently
[+11] u/Mindless-Week-1250: Need a bull to explain to me why they're sending a third carrier to the region
[+11] u/patmccock86: There wasn’t a big drawdown as Buffett said. We never got a proper dump. That’s how fake these markets are. They’ll stop at nothing to give the impression things are rosy
[+11] u/No-Put2311: How is any of this bullish lol
[+10] u/ManBearPig_1983: Don’t forget to take profits.
Best Regards,
ManBearPig.
[+10] u/OntologicalSquirrel: lmao bers thought
hahaha dumb bols why u so dumb
don't mind me just exercising for close
[+10] u/ismebbb: Being a bear is a double edged sword. It feels way better to make money because everyone else is losing money and you feel like a genius. But it also feels way worse to lose money because the world is rigged against you and if you're short you have to close it eventually or you lose everything
[+10] u/Unique_Zucchini1041: I don’t know how many times I can be wrong
[+10] u/twostroke1: This place is insanely bearish. That’s how you know the pump has legs.
[+10] u/twostroke1: This market is so much easier to navigate when you just turn off the news and buy calls.
[+10] u/Fitzaroo: Iran war continues unabated. Democracy crumbling. Economy in shambles. Believe it or not, calls.
[+10] u/kerrykingzgo-T: Why do i come here a dozen times a day to read shit posts and trash talk from dudes with $400 in checking and $3700 in credit card debt who work at enterprise rentals... all to just get confirmation bias and fomo to further lose money in an irrational system
[+10] u/Initial_Ad_9250: What a beautiful day. Today i trust no one. No one give me financial advice.
[+9] u/Local-Vacation4884: BREAKING NEWS - IRAN TO NEGOTIATE PEACE DEAL WITH US, VOWS TO SHARE PROCEEDS OF TOLLS COLLECTED FROM STRAIT OF HORMUZ TO FUND WHITE HOUSE BALL ROOM RENVOATIONS
[+9] u/techlogger: I like how over the weekend I’ve seen articles like “the market is not going to be tricked by empty words and manipulations. Not again”.
And first thing that happened - market rallies on another 2-3 weeks promise while more and more troops coming into region.
[+9] u/MadHat0815: I´m not buying this shit, staying in cash until the situation actually changes.
[+9] u/Haunting-Window-5125: If I learned anything from tariffs its not to fight a pump like this even if nothing has changed and it doesnt make any fucking sense lol
[+9] u/Concerned_Fanboy: Time to buy into the euphoria and be hurt again :(
[+9] u/apurimac777: Open up my trading app 😃
Open up my news app 😱
[+9] u/Rich-Badger-7601: A Robinhood notification for my NKE shares? I bet they're mooning after earnings, be right back!
[+9] u/SouthNice7324: SO, who is going to be the April fool
[+9] u/whitepug: Announcement is going to be that you, YES YOU😭🫵, were exit liquidity for his signal chat
[+9] u/CursedClownz: Market is rigged i dont care what anyone says
[+9] u/Remarkable-Action708: When you kill 10 it’s a tragedy, when you kill 10,000 it’s a statistic..it’s not over till the fat lady sings..taco will reverse 🌮 I am a 🧸till it actually stops
[+9] u/FeverTreeCloud: I feel nervous when it pumps pre market
[+8] u/DatsMaPurse_IDKU: We either moon or we dump but we could also chop too 👀
[+8] u/Internal_Field5970: Noem’s husbands tits are fking huge
[+8] u/Mindless-Week-1250: Sure, sure the PMs of Australia and UK saying take the bus, things will be hard for months for no reason
Keep FOMO buying
[+8] u/josh272321: At this rate NVDA will be back at $200 by mid next week.
[+8] u/CUbuffGuy: It’ll be 660 today likely, but I honestly think he’ll announce a ground invasion of Kharg at 9pm and we’ll slide all the way down to like 650 again
[+8] u/ayashifx55: I thought the war ended because of the PM pump, I check the oil price, still 99$ lol
[+8] u/ecoburner87: other than announcing an actual deal with iran, i can't for the life of me understand what mango could say tonight to pump the markets. like, what is it?
\-we're leaving and after 31 days, we've given up the strait, and israel will go it alone, take on more missiles?
what could he possibly say that smoothes over the fact that an energy shock could continue into weeks or months from now, which hasn't been priced into GDP revisions or earnings??? what are we actually pumping on?
[+8] u/Philthatman: Looks pumpy, and dumpy 🤔
[+8] u/FunkyMonk100k: US should just pull all their assets from the region and lift all sanctions. Get Iran in the UN. Have the new leaders become some intertwined in the global economy they will have an incentive to not do stupid shit anymore. That would make the market pump to obscene levels
[+8] u/Consistent-Motor5196: Guessing since everyone's buying they already know that the announcement will be a ceasefire.
[+8] u/Bam2458: Bulls and bears hate on each other without realizing theta gang is the real enemy.
[+8] u/sekak77: The April Fools joke is opening the market today instead of closing it….. If you play today, you lose.
[+8] u/iswearnotagain10: Can anyone explain why oil is randomly under $100 again?
[+8] u/Total_Schedule591: Back in my day birds were real
[+8] u/livingiice: Market is so fuk, might as well roll the dice and pick.
[+8] u/Muted-South4737: Got damn the club is hopping with fomosexuals
[+8] u/Overall-Fold-9720: I figured it out :
Announcement is that he marries his daughter to the ayatollah, effectively becoming his father, then getting the ayatollah title
Pretty straight forward
[+8] u/iBoughtAtTheBottom: At this point is not just stocks and slots. Everything is casino.
[+8] u/unikuenobody: "I cherish peace with all my heart. I don't care how many men, women and children I need to kill to get it." - Peacemaker.
[+8] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: Hes not gonna say anything new, he’ll say we are getting out without making a deal, and the strait is now others problem
[+8] u/Character_Pirate_152: What really matters is economics and sentiment. Escalation will lead to further damage to oil facilities and other things. Prices go up. Redneck has to spend their whole paycheck on gas for their stupid dodge ram. They can't buy starbucks lattes. Baristas lose their jobs. The cycle continues. i rest my bear case.
[+8] u/ToroLoco_TL: He wouldn't schedule an announcement if it were an agreement, he would say it immediately on truth or some shit so obviously he is gonna say that he is leaving Iran in 2-3 weeks even with the Strait closed like he said yesterday, and I don't think that's very bullish at all...
[+8] u/Both-Improvement8645: Man feel sorry for those poor bears getting rawdogged because they believe the stock market has any correlation with the broader economy
[+8] u/TheMostAverageDude: I’m already down so big idc what happens today
[+8] u/I-IV-I64-V-I: Iran warns if Palestinian prisoners are executed, Israeli and American prisoners held in Iran, Lebanon, and Iraq will also be executed.
iran has balls
[+7] u/Concerned_Fanboy: >While Iran has received messages from Washington, including directly from US envoy Steve Witkoff, no negotiations are taking place. Iran’s FM Araghchi yesterday, “The trust level is at zero. We don’t see honesty."
[+7] u/Internal_Field5970: I’m so tired and retarded
[+7] u/ismebbb: I can't wait to become rich so I can
1. Switch up on my day ones
2. Let money change me
3. Forget where I came from
[+7] u/winner_in_life: Nervously hope the fat people getting in isn’t sitting next to you on an airplane
[+7] u/LeftBullTesty: is this idiot actually trying to convince everyone that we are going to pull out to pump the market.
is this market regarded enough to actually believe him.
[+7] u/81458145: Good news everyone. I will be ceasing my self-destructive tendencies in 2-3 weeks.
[+7] u/bklotrgoblet: Just nutting dust at this point
[+7] u/NervousChemistry7401: In December 2023, Congress passed a law (Section 1250A of the 2024 NDAA) that specifically says a president cannot withdraw the United States from NATO without either:
• approval of two-thirds of the Senate, or
• an Act of Congress (meaning House + Senate passed legislation)
[+7] u/Brief_Introduction78: What is happening is a fake move and I am 100% going to fall for it
[+7] u/Maximum-Magazine-333: Pump into big tech earnings pump into mid year pump uh oh ber
[+7] u/Mindless-Week-1250: 🥭 is such a drama queen, he's probably jerking off about how billions of people are on the edge of their seats. I hate him so much I hope he starts sundowning 30 minutes before the speech and just Brandons the whole time
[+7] u/Unique_Zucchini1041: Called this yesterday saying that since I have puts market will open at 655 lol
[+7] u/apurimac777: I cant trade or understand any of this
Ill let that put I bought at close yesterday burn another 90% then im done. Underlying only.
Another crazy April, I cannot surf this beach.
[+7] u/Austin_Destroyer: "Ah, lard kings" is an anagram of Kharg Island.
[+7] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Thinking I’m gonna quit drinking this month.
[+7] u/swflcape: “We may have to do more, may be not, we’re ready. They’re not ready for us. We haven’t even started showing them what we can do. They can’t stop us, nobody can stop us. They maybe should try, but that won’t be good for them. France and the other European countries, may be they should try. I’d like to see it. They can’t stop us….”
One hour later,
“… we’ll see.”
- DJT from the future
[+7] u/ismebbb: Full port puts at open I ain't no bitch
[+7] u/josh272321: Careful folks. Barron will probably take profit at open. But don't worry he will reload mid day
[+7] u/Difficult-Ask2278: Wake up! Grab a brush and put on a little make up!
[+7] u/MrLebouwski: SPY 670 is a meme until it’s not. Imma laugh so hard if we rallye on meaningless drivel of 🥭 just to fu*k all the bers
[+7] u/RenaissanceWmn1: Fake pump. This ain’t over
[+7] u/ConstantAd1: I'm in Tehran but they won't give me the oil. Advice?
[+7] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: i am getting the urge to buy calls and since i am always wrong we will dump at open
[+7] u/haroldped1: Market goes up, market goes down. The only accurate prediction is the opposite of what you do.
[+7] u/Thebaxxxx: The dump will be bibilical 🥹
[+7] u/Unique_Zucchini1041: Another 2% day incoming
[+7] u/Oxidrox: Hey bers, im willing to buy calls so the market can crash at open. I got you 👍
[+6] u/FuckingJPMAlgos: # Dont forget that they gotta pump up the market for Elon's SpaceX ipo, Altman's OpenAI ipo. SpaceX will be done in May and OpenAI should be done by Dec. Buy stocks (not options) with all the money you got and sell by Dec for a good 50% return. Ignore the short term volatility next few days.
[+6] u/Oatmeal_Raisin_: Ive got it:
🥭 tweets at dawn, the bulls charge on.
Iran at night, the bears' delight.
[+6] u/shortitforever: Major de-risking before his address tonight
[+6] u/callsonreddit: Funny how defense stocks climb now we anticipate war over
[+6] u/kiwicanuck-: Mr President, they have bought a second SPY put.
[+6] u/Leading_Form_8485: I think hes gonna announce we are pulling out of NATO
[+6] u/Diamondhands4dagainz: 680 EOW, ATH next week. Everything gapping up. Bers always forget that the market can easily gap up 3/4% in a day, but will only fall a max of -1.5% on a red day lmfao. We have already erased like a week of red in a single fucking session
[+6] u/Much_Researcher_3592: Nothing to be happy, still down YTD ppl
[+6] u/basedpogchamp: Plenty of crayon eaters in here thinking that boots will be pre-emptively announced. lmao
[+6] u/SteakGoblin: This is my first time being squeezed, its not fun lol. I'm like 50/50 we'll resume bear market but I need to sell my May puts while they still green.
I also lost like 45% of my port yesterday. Still up 90% on 3m amd 40% on 1m, but this sucks dick.
Fuck you all. But most of all, fuck me ;)
[+6] u/EnginrA: Shoulda turned bol yesterday
[+6] u/Disastrous_Battle_14: April fools? Why green?
[+6] u/Ok_Celebration_4412: This whole pump off a statement that hasn’t been confirmed or verified. We moving like the shit is over when Its not lol
[+6] u/gamusils: pump hard to fall harder
[+6] u/Significant_Speed854: We are at last Thursday prices (Nasdaq, S&P) and oil was at 92-93 and we were panic selling.
Nothing makes sense anymore.
[+6] u/whomakesthetendies: You know what is not Sus at all? This pump on this low volume
[+6] u/Aranthos-Faroth: Looking forward to Easter.
Thursday 20 mins before bell announcements:
Cuba invasion happening,
Iran ground invasion happening,
Palestine invasion happening,
South Africa now invaded and claimed, renamed to Elongland.
Next week before markets open:
Psyc, gotcha. Jkjk.
Retail destoyed, trumpian family and friends fund now tripled.
Great success.
[+6] u/fire_alarmist: Boots on the ground, boots on the ground
Lookin' like a fool with your boots on the ground
Soldiers in your Iran, market turned sideways
Boots hit the ground, call yourself a cool cat
Boots on the ground, Boots on the ground
(Get your money up)
Lookin' like a fool with your boots on the ground
[+6] u/financiallythriving: Imagine buying puts after 5 consecutive weeks of red then getting smacked with a +4% move over two days on SPY and start crying manipulation
[+6] u/the_mind_goblin1: I really really hope you bears didn't double down. I know some of you did.
[+6] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: "Mission accomplished" speech tonight
[+6] u/DragonflyOrdinary848: This is reminding me of that pump just before liberation day lol
[+6] u/tommyboy441: Of course I bought puts yesterday
[+6] u/Leather_Mention5916: My prediction: Spy between 600 and 700 for 2 more years
[+6] u/looool_k_libtard: Been some obvious rug pulls in the past but us rallying for 2 days while other world leaders tell their people to prepare for pain because of this shit show is on the nose
[+6] u/ShittyUsernane1222: wsb went from too bearish to too bullish.
inverse wsb tells me to dump all financial assets now and head for the exit.
[+6] u/mneymaker: **LMAO every bullish comment is getting downvoted to hell lmao, we got so much more room for green it's insane.**
[+6] u/BobbyDigitali: we bombed them during their holy period, buckle up for good Friday and Easter weekend.
[+6] u/Overall-Fold-9720: Quick, stop the war so Elon can put the last nail in the market coffin
[+6] u/The_BakedCrusader: I can't imaging this 9pm announcement being anything good. If there was a ceasefire in the works, why not announce that as soon as possible? This will either be an announcement of boots on the ground or a nothingburger.
[+6] u/Ok_Dish1650: Bers bought puts at 650 😭😭😭
Little did they know we're ass ripping straight to 670 today 🥀
[+6] u/East-Description-243: Now we’re headed into the part of the cycle where everyone is too shell shocked to buy and we’ll all watch it run up only to buy the top again.
[+6] u/hayleybts: My trades only work out when I'm already in loss and fear leaves the body
[+5] u/Treverer: Remarkably regarded market.
You can’t open the fucking strait anymore, unless you wipe Iran from the face of this earth or retreat.
As long as like 0.01% of the population of Iran will still be loyal to the regime and can get their hands on a fishing boat they can continue to drop mines. And if even one out of the 70 ships/day will hit one of those mines other tankers won’t go through cuz their insurer‘s back-insurer told them so
[+5] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Congrats all Nike put holders
[+5] u/somebody_throw_a_pie: Your calls are printing!
April Fools!
[+5] u/Mammoth-Librarian580: What time is the dumpster starting
[+5] u/DisgrunltedDan: Panic the fuck out and buy!
[+5] u/callsonreddit: Wtf lol
Anthropic Accidentally Posts Source Code of Claude AI Agent
[https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2026/04/01/donald-trump-strongly-considering-pulling-us-out-of-nato/](https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2026/04/01/donald-trump-strongly-considering-pulling-us-out-of-nato/)
[+5] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Won
---
/u/Specialist_Dog_4744 made a bet that NKE would go to 47.0 within **2 days** when it was 51.97 and it did, congrats regard.
Their record is now 1 wins and 0 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+5] u/Hot-Ambassador8740: I mean we pumped like twice before on fake news and then dropped. Is this sub autistic? Why wouldn’t it drop again if we’re still on copium?
[+5] u/PuzzledLeader8941: I actually have no idea
[+5] u/trustjosephs: 3 day weekend, markets closed Friday, if I have learned anything it's that the orange man will attack Thursday evening, invest accordingly
[+5] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: The amount of ppl here cheering for US leaving NATO is weirdly big.
It seems i was under the wrong impression for the last 40 years.
[+5] u/more_aero: Holding my 648 puts for Thursday for my dear life
[+5] u/Jaysler87: Nike drilling below 47 will be prime
[+5] u/Hot_Avocado_2701: Ouch hope no one got puts on Monday
[+5] u/cripky: Bers are watching, waiting, circling the Bols like vultures
[+5] u/YoureaSaget: hate to tell you. more war is coming
[+5] u/Danirago98: Could this be Japan shorting oil? Finally some reparations after pearl harbour
[+5] u/ImLemonized: What will Donaldinho do tonight?
A. War is over, we have a deal -> another April rally
B. Epic bull trap, rugging and dragging bols by the balls -> we are launching a ground invasion
Place your bets
[+5] u/dontlikeyacutG: Announcement is just to rope you into options and we’ll end up flat all night
[+5] u/spellbadgrammargood: MSFT is nearly at it's Liberation Day lows,
[+5] u/Significant_Speed854: I have a feeling that hardcore shake out was purely to get retail to panic sell. Monday was the first time/day retail traders sold more than bought since November 2023.
I think MM were reaching out for that point.
I think MM wanted that to happen, then pumped.
[+5] u/avdvetf: "Tonight I am announcing that interdimensional beings have been visiting us for decades. From all available intel we have on them, they have been doing absolutely nothing harmful to us. The only thing they seem to do all day is fly around in egg-shapped spacecraft, goon, and trade on our market to charting patterns. Thank you for your attention in this matter."
[+5] u/SmoothOperator423: What if the real April fools was the fake outs we fell for along the way
[+5] u/Strong_Coffee_9999: How much would SPY drop overnight and tomorrow if he announces a boots on the ground invasion at 9pm?
[+5] u/patmccock86: I love how the financial media plays along with this garbage. “Bessent will defend t-bill dumps” there’s a defense for everything lmao. They’re so transparent and this is all so fake
[+5] u/FabulousLanguage6216: Market can stay irrational more than you can stay solvent. So can pump a lot more until your double down puts are worthless
[+5] u/AKOnDaTrack: Keep buying puts bers surely the market will dump
[+5] u/sekak77: Buying puts will send this more bigly up - highly recommend
[+5] u/avdvetf: utter humiliation for murica
[+5] u/kinkyhentai69: Tmrw I receive my tax refund and invest it so the market should resume dropping then,
This isn't financial advice.
[+5] u/Illustrious-Low4128: I just know he’s gonna mess this up man…
[+5] u/natalie_merchant_fan: He says we won't help to secure the Strait and people believe him. Uh huh. He's just pressuring other countries to step up and help. We'll be there too.
[+5] u/soa333: The Big Short Dick Energy
[+5] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: Bols are so scared they know this wont hold long
[+5] u/twostroke1: Tony Hawk did the first 900 on Sunday June 27th, 1999.
That following week, the sp500 went up almost +6%
Tony Hawk can once again save this market for us.
[+5] u/UnivalveX: SPY finna pump back to 680 in three days on pure copium
[+5] u/lobsterspider: Press conference is tonight tho
[+31] u/OSRSkarma: After intense negotiations, the mod team has reached a historic agreement.
An announcement will shortly follow.
[+24] u/OSRSkarma: Mods gonna be a bit busy this morning. We are holding very important negotiations with an important individual.
[+23] u/Any_Life_6178: https://preview.redd.it/j3k7o82kpksg1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd1fdc89e77afcac0ad5fc854fee3f433670dc1c
Tonight at 9pm
[+20] u/Specialist_Fig9458: I post here an unhealthy amount and I’m not even a 1% commenter which makes me seriously concerned for some of y’all LMAO
[+19] u/OSRSkarma: 3 world leaders holding conferences today…
You either Long the fuck out of oil
Or
Long every other fucking thing in the market
This only goes 2 ways
[+18] u/Due-Dirt-8428: If you’re a bear the best thing you can do today is just spam bullish comments here to give the algos reverse oncology and trick them
[+17] u/bertacle: Tomorrow is Thursday.
Do what you want with this information.
[+17] u/TERRAIN_PULL_UP_: “Iran’s president came up to me with tears in his eyes and said, ‘Sir, CEASEFIRE!’”
[+17] u/xeuropa: Yesterday 🌮 said he would exit Iran without the Strait of Hormuz open, and now today he said he would keep blasting Iran until the Strait of Hormuz is open👌🏼
[+17] u/Unh0lyCatf1sh: 80 years of American Global Hegemony ended is a couple of months, its actually quite a staggering achievement if you think about it
[+17] u/AGreasyPorkSandwich: In an alternate timeline:
US Nuclear inspectors certify that the disarmament agreement with Iran is being upheld. WTI hovers around $65. President Harris had a milquetoast press conference announcing the Artemis launch today, and praised the US while encouraging global cooperation towards establishing a moon base. Nobody can name anyone in the cabinet as they all come from academic backgrounds.
Republicans are drawing up impeachment papers for the third time due to Tim Walz bringing his high school coach on AF2 for the Olympics, citing personal enrichment.
[+15] u/Incorrect_Oymoron: Never has the market been so excited to see the US lose another war
[+15] u/ConsiderationKey1658: Hegseth losing money insider trading is incredible
[+15] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Guys the market is an organic instrument based on supply and demand economics in a free market society. Thats why company fundamentals are important to investors.
Who am kidding, this shit is a ponzi and manipulated to fuck. Just try to persevere. GL retards. We're all counting on you.
[+15] u/OrdinaryMix4013: CLOWN MAN WANTS HE STRAIGHT HE CLOSED REOPENED LMAOOOO
[+14] u/The_Madman1: Market green April fools. Nice try
[+14] u/dudeondacouch: Celieve it or not, balls.
[+14] u/AGreasyPorkSandwich: He's just so *goddamn stupid*.
The fact that we all know who I'm talking about proves it.
[+14] u/QuantrixQuintrix: They asked for a ceasefire.
APRIL FOOLS!
We’re ass blasting them back to the stone ages!
[+14] u/Boobies1bcsboobies: The fact that we analyse tweets instead of market performance says a lot.
[+14] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: BACK TO THE STONE AGES LMAO
[+14] u/Nice-Difference8641: Holy shit he’s so braindead he thinks Iran got a new president when that’s like the only position that hasn’t been decapitation striked
[+14] u/MrT_IDontFeelSoGood: lol yesterday didn’t 🥭 say he would pull out of the war even if the strait was closed
now they want a ceasefire but he wants the strait open
he’s clearly just pulling shit out of his ass, I just can’t believe ppl look at all of this and think “yep that’s leadership!”
[+14] u/borkdpasito: Why the actual fuck is this not ripping down 5%.
He’s clearly talking shit and is desperate to open the Strait
[+13] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: https://preview.redd.it/sazk4o78qksg1.png?width=1169&format=png&auto=webp&s=bc70afc114f9c41ab6efdd2b38361443c4a2961b
lol
[+13] u/Commercial_Seat_3704: Lol this guy fucking sucks
[+13] u/DaFlyingGriffin: Trump literally abusing the algos to April Fools the stock market prices.
[+13] u/mrmagootoyou2: They definitely didn't ask for a ceasefire lol, Jesus Christ I'm living in a fever dream
[+13] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: We're trading the thoughts of a schizophrenic old man. Worst than Black Mirror
[+13] u/borkdpasito: Per Al Jazeera (I’m watching the livestream) - Iranian source tells Al Jazeera that Iran has NOT
asked for a ceasefire.
[+12] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: lol multiple events occurred overnight that make it pretty clear there isn’t any negotiation happening.
[+12] u/NoxZ: Algos read "CEASEFIRE" and pumped, then read "blasting Iran into oblivion" and dumped lmfao
[+12] u/FatFluffyFish: CEASEFIRE! JK BLASTING YOU TO THE STONE AGES!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THE MATTER
[+12] u/trsx5: Man wtf is this dude flip flopping everyday. We need the strait, we dont need it, we need it, we dont, we do... ffs man. This is why it's so unpopular. At least give us fake WMD's to hang our hat on.
Why would they open the strait? It's there only leverage.
Oil back over $100.
[+12] u/No_Bookkeeper6275: # IRGC says Strait of Hormuz will not be opened by ‘ridiculous displays of the US President’
The IRGC says the situation in the Strait of Hormuz is “firmly and dominantly” under its control and “will not be opened to the enemies of this nation by the ridiculous displays of the US President”.
A short while ago, Trump claimed that the Iranian president had asked for a ceasefire, adding that he will consider it “when Hormuz Strait is open, free, and clear”.
[+12] u/McKoijion: Trump post:
> Iran’s New Regime President, much less Radicalized and far more intelligent than his predecessors, has just asked the United States of America for a CEASEFIRE! We will consider when Hormuz Strait is open, free, and clear. Until then, we are blasting Iran into oblivion or, as they say, back to the Stone Ages!!! President DJT
Lol, dude's been president for 2 years:
> Masoud Pezeshkian is the current president of Iran, having taken office on July 28, 2024.
[+11] u/Time_Molasses_1581: It’s decided. I’m Going full port 1dte puts at 1030 am est. cya on the front lines regards
[+11] u/old-cow666: Noem’s husband’s Tits are bullish !
[+11] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: DO NOT FORGIVE THE BEARS...THEY WERE EDGING TO WW3 FOR THEIR SILLY PUTS
[+11] u/SuspiciousStable9649: Short term gain for long term pain.
[+11] u/killainvest: Who wants to watch me single-handedly end this pump by buying calls?
[+11] u/Mysterious_Ad6637: 🥭 ON IRAN: UNTIL THEN, WE ARE BLASTING IRAN INTO OBLIVION how is it still green
[+11] u/Metacog_Drivel: Dementia is a hell of a drug
[+11] u/Beginning_Sentence69: Here comes the dump before open😂
[+11] u/frogboyjr: if he ended his post after the ceasefire part we would be up 3% rn
[+11] u/suddenuser: Lmao the algos read ceasefire -> bought immediately -> continued reading -> read ass blasting Iran -> sold immediately
[+11] u/QuantrixQuintrix: It’s like right before Russia/Ukraine.
Deny deny deny even though ALL evidence is there to show what’s bout to go down.
[+11] u/Available_Cake_8572: The tweet 🥭 just put out really counter acts what he was saying yesterday lol. Irans new PRESIDENT said they want a ceasefire but it will only happen once the Hormuz is fully open? Didn’t he just say yesterday the Hormuz is wasn’t a priority of his in ending the war? And this is Irans PRESIDENT who said this not the supreme leader who has more power than the president and the USA killed his dad and family?
[+11] u/octopus4488: Right, so "Iran's new regime" is the same President as before + the son of the previous ayatollah? :D
[+11] u/bobbyd121: every shitposting stock forum: war is over! we're so fucking back!
every thoughtful financial newsletter & insider interview: we are in an energy crisis and the next few months will be rough.
*sigh*
calls it is.
[+11] u/borkdpasito: Per Al Jazeera
IRGC says Strait of Hormuz will not be opened by ‘ridiculous displays of the US President’
The IRGC says the situation in the Strait of Hormuz is “firmly and dominantly” under its control and “will not be opened to the enemies of this nation by the ridiculous displays of the US President”.
A short while ago, Trump claimed that the Iranian president had asked for a ceasefire, adding that he will consider it “when Hormuz Strait is open, free, and clear”.
[+11] u/DealNormal8505: mango doublespeaks again because he cant keep track of his lies cuz hes sundowning. the straitt will stay closed, now the strait has to open. lmao this fuckin guy
[+11] u/blackboro: get out now i think today or tomorow will be stocks bloodbath, 🍊 talking shit all the time but we cant see anything positive yet
[+11] u/enken90: Everyone on wsb roasting 🥭 as if half of you regards didn't fall for his "business-friendly" bs the first time around 🫡
Or maybe everyone that was on wsb from 16-22 is fucking broke and this is a new set of people. Who knows right
[+11] u/wrongrobertpatrick: https://preview.redd.it/3j3krl61rksg1.jpeg?width=1320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=81da3e2ebaf802e44f0237d458e5338f00b95114
not looking good for the pump
[+10] u/Logical-Clerk-1571: white house will announce that they captured IRGC commander Suq Ma'diq today
[+10] u/gurney__halleck: always remember
we were retardmaxxing here years before it was cool
[+10] u/sturgill_and_co: Someone tell me why we are pumping. Please
[+10] u/Neat_Activity7737: 🥭 addressing the nation today: probably market manipulation and/or market manipulation. Makes sense as markets are closed Friday
[+10] u/AMCorBUST2021: Strait is open. But bring a life jacket lol
[+10] u/Fineous400: Tonight, if he brings out a chart, -5% tomorrow.
[+10] u/ThinkingOfTheOldDays: Apparently oracle's layoffs were mostly in India
Very bullish orcl
[+10] u/celebratorycremation: Finna go Bryon Noem's tits up.
[+10] u/ercanbas: Did you see that on spy just now?
[+10] u/Informal_Cockroach_6: Wow that genuinely just blew my funded account in .2 nanoseconds
[+10] u/caliwillbemine: Algos read ceasefire and buy. Then the LLM actually processes it and sells like crazy.
Meanwhile humans just sit here with confusedjackiechan.jpeg face.
[+10] u/borkdpasito: I know we joke about the casino but buying this market is literally gambling
[+10] u/dontslambro: Baron wanted a better entry. Only reason for that statement
[+10] u/sam4o19: Always with the bullshit ass social media post. Dawg, just let me get out of these dumbass calls I’m in hahaha
[+10] u/Humble_Explanation32: we won, we opened the strait /\*it was open before the attack\*/
[+10] u/Commercial-District1: Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) is warning employees at 18 major American companies to evacuate their Middle East workplaces immediately, with a deadline of 9:30 a.m. PST Wednesday for attacks to begin. Three of those companies, Microsoft, Amazon, and Boeing, call Washington state home.
[+10] u/2tonehead: My berhole still hurts from yesterday.
[+10] u/Upstairs_System_6257: Market going back to stone age after his speech today, he will just ramble about ballroom for an hour
[+10] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: Of course he thinks the war will be over in 2-3 weeks. The ground invasion starts next week and he thinks that will take a week or 2
[+9] u/FriedCheeseSanga: I think everyone knows we are going back down, the real question is when. Will it be this weekend when boots hit the ground, or in 2 months when oil takers are still being hit by drones and countries run dry of there oil supply
[+9] u/jasperCrow: Poly market still not buying that a ceasefire is any closer than we were last week. Oil not really buying it either…..
[+9] u/Actual_Difference617: If he pulls out tonight without opening the strait, American influence will forever be lost in middle east. Regional power will be Iran and its allies Russia and China.
The address tonight will be to tell his voter base why their sons might die in middle east in next few weeks. 100% its boots on the ground.
[+9] u/Nemo-pluribus-unum: Today's announcement will turnout to be an aprils fools joke.
[+9] u/Axonum: Tonight he will announce the end of the war. Victory is achieved!
[+9] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: POTUS lying about another ceasefire. solid.
[+9] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: > Iran’s new, more pragmatic leader seeks a ceasefire.
This low-key reads like "my girlfriend in Canada that you wouldn't know"
[+9] u/SoloOutdoor: Live, laugh, toaster bath
[+9] u/k3t4mine: Strategic ambiguity or severe dementia?
[+9] u/Curious_scientist420: 39 minutes before open, tweets drop
Even his bullish tweets sound bearish
[+9] u/Comfortable733: MSFT up two days in a row you know something’s up
[+9] u/DesticularDorsion: I'd rather bet on what he will tweet rather than betting anything on SPY or WTI.
[+9] u/WalrusHonda: You know what none of this is? … stable.
[+9] u/New-Length5593: Address tonight will be about draft
[+9] u/Successful-End7689: This is a binary event , if you’re not holding both calls and puts you’re just flipping a coin.
thanks for attending my TEDtalk.
[+9] u/Upstairs_Ad9586: ok so, why did we have this massive rally if the war isn't ending?
[+9] u/creeoer: i only need to read 6 replies in this thread to know that a certain someone has posted a new truth a few mins ago
[+9] u/nocashflow_: Fuck no bitches, lose money
[+9] u/GuwopGOAT: 🥭 please say something stupid I need spy to go to $640 or I’m gonna get evicted
[+9] u/NapNapNapNap: I can feel the dump coming at 9:30
[+9] u/OrdinaryMix4013: holy shit cramer just go away
[+9] u/imunfair: > Donald Trump says "Iran's New Regime President" has asked the US for a ceasefire.
>
> In a statement on Truth Social, he does not mention the top official by name, but describes the individual is "much less Radicalized and far more intelligent than his predecessors".
Trump bragging that the janitor they refuse to name has agreed to a ceasefire, which is super important for everyone to know since the US isn't even sure if this "reasonable" person will end up in power according to Trump's own administration.
[+9] u/Upstairs_System_6257: Lmao my broker sent notification that 🥭 tweeted
[+9] u/NoodHigga69: During this next phase, Iran is also gonna partake in market manipulation to fund war after seing Mangolito do it repeatedly and making banks.
[+9] u/OptionsHuduga: she's a 10 but has smaller juggies than nome's husband
[+9] u/OrdinaryMix4013: # "asked for a ceasefire but us wants Hormuz straits open first" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 lmaooooo
[+9] u/AMCorBUST2021: Guy wants to dress up as a big titty woman
Well that’s Noem of your business
[+8] u/Urzuck: Not buying and not selling, i don't trust this shit at all.
[+8] u/MakeResonableChoices: Q1 on the books and pretty terrible for me 🫡
[+8] u/Me-Regarded: Where's the paper trading competition thread?
[+8] u/DatYoungSquire: Last year, JD sapped the life force from the pope over Easter weekend
[+8] u/anerdknownaswill: Lol spy might be doing the funniest thing ever
[+8] u/plzplzplztendies: #HOW CAN SHE PUMP!!!!!
[+8] u/God_RL: What in the name of Mango just happened?
[+8] u/X211499Reddit: Nothing to worry folks just some premarket insider trading is all
[+8] u/OrionJohnson: Nothing to see here, just insiders doing their thing please move on.
[+8] u/rrrenz: Market is confused already how to react to TACO's April Fools.
[+8] u/No_Bookkeeper6275: Wtf. This posts specifically seem to use keywords that the algos must be tracking. For an algo, that would have been a bullish post with "CEASEFIRE" in it. But if you read it, it is the same shit.
[+8] u/bm_mane8: Absolutely hilarious timeline we are in, absolutely mind numbing
[+8] u/Tautol0gic: I think I might actually be retarded
[+8] u/Happy-Champion1661: OMG please let this end, I can't stand his fake tweets anymore, every fucking day
[+8] u/ConsiderationKey1658: Upper decked the toilet at work for April fools 😂
I work from home 😔
[+8] u/EaseNew: Nooooo you were suppose to let us sell our calls first 🥹😭
[+8] u/Affectionate-End2461: So we gonna end the war by blasting to the Stone Age? I’m confused.
[+8] u/br0botic: “Iran has asked for a ceasefire!”
April fools!
[+8] u/Available_Cake_8572: I’m balls deep in 6500 spxw puts expiring 4/17. Currently down $6300 or 40% on them. Holding strong though I don’t think the volatility is over with yet and if I lost all of it I guess it’ll be for a good cause with the war really coming to an end. That’s the only positive I can think of but I’m riding this out til the end.
[+8] u/carefulcutter: It's a dead Persian cat bounce
[+8] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: BREAKING NEWS: stop losses exist for pussies
[+8] u/Fodder85: Missed opportunity.
Post 1 should have been "Iran wants a CEASEFIRE OMG YAS!"
5 MINUTES LATER
2nd post : April fools! bombing them into the stone age lawlz"
[+8] u/Immediate-Coast-5066: what he is going to say today
1. we won and he has never seen like that
2. he may withdraw in 2 to 3 weeks
3. he may bomb their infrastructure if they didnt open and take kharg island
4. they are asking for cease fire and i wont until they open the strait
this is what we have been hearing from day 1 but the market will think everything is good and pump
[+8] u/Axonum: April Fools! The pump was fake!
[+8] u/_pout_: Everything geopolitical looks like escalation.
Fuck Truth Social.
[+8] u/Lederh94: trump says we still gunna keep blasting Iran to the stone ages. back to puts?
[+8] u/DegenJinwoo: Pumping markets as we head through the weekend, the third Carrier group and an additional 50,000 troops just arrived
[+8] u/Blyrone__Blashinton: 🥭 “you said I couldn’t nuke a hurricane, what about nuking the stock market?”
[+8] u/Eddyrancid: Say what you will about Truth social, unlike other politicians, I have no doubt he writes his own posts...
[+8] u/Most-Crazy2353: Dictator addresses nation to complain about ballroom, the fed, and declare victory
[+8] u/solariac: I upvote bear comments to stir panic LMAO
[+8] u/Level_Counter3062: I like you guys, sell your calls
[+8] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: honestly watching SPY not react to reality is making a pretty good argument for prediction markets rn
[+8] u/botistic: Rooting for a -1% day
[+8] u/Brief_Challenge_1163: aljazeera : "The IRGC says the situation in the Strait of Hormuz is “firmly and dominantly” under its control and “will not be opened to the enemies of this nation by the ridiculous displays of the US President”.
[+8] u/teh_herper: # The pump that was promised 3000 hours ago
[+8] u/Select_Season7735: Looks like the algos didn’t like that tweet
[+8] u/Snowman33001: She sounds like an 11 sir
[+7] u/Datsyuk131313: Ber fuk
thank you for your attention to this matter
[+7] u/anerdknownaswill: You know what? I’m selling my puts at open and using whatever’s left to buy calls
[+7] u/AGener0usGod: Rent is due, bitches.
[+7] u/ProudPeak3570: if you have no clue what you're doing the enemy also has no clue what you're doing
[+7] u/DegenGonnaDegen: We got WW3 before GTA6
[+7] u/fatmummy222: War is canceled. Back to work, losers!
[+7] u/astromouse2024: NO, DON’T DUMP NOW I HAVEN’T BOUGHT MORE PUTS YET
[+7] u/Curious-Visual4525: 🥭 War is over because the main goal is met. Iran got no nukes!
Reparation will be payed in melania meme coins and the ballroom will look amazing.
[+7] u/ADynes: Hey u/zjz \- The leaderboard needs a filter so WTF doesn't take up a space every single day. NOEM and NATO being up there isn't helpful either.
[+7] u/highlanderquestion90: Logically we gap up to 665 670 before news
[+7] u/ButterscotchFew9855: Back in the daythis is where we'd send ol baron in there to marry some persian princess then we'd all buy calls and celebrate.
[+7] u/Ermahgerd_Sterks: As an actual gay, I want you all to know we do not welcome that Noem guy into our association.
[+7] u/kal14144: Do you have a minute to discuss our lord and savior Kid Rock?
[+7] u/ConsiderationKey1658: Tonight’s address is extremely important, leaks indicate we will get a much anticipated update on the drapes
[+7] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: oof check out that ceasefire reaction gang, almost like everyone knows this talk is all fluff with no substance.
[+7] u/wildbill4693: Trump just said Iran Pres asked for ceasefire (not his jurisdiction btw) but we would only consider when the Strait is open. Contrary to what Trump said yesterday.
[+7] u/ContributeAVerse: Can’t believe that’s a real tweet
[+7] u/jasperCrow: Having a tough time discerning if mangos tweets are talking about peace or war crimes.
[+7] u/zackacz: I love watching the algos get riled up for literally one minute and then start acting as if nothing ever happened
[+7] u/JeronimoPearson: Tonight he will walk out doing the “Boots on the Ground” line dance
[+7] u/horseisahorse: >Out-of-context quotes + manufactured FOMO = War profiteering 101. Do Your Own Research.
>[8:36 AM · Apr 1, 2026](https://x.com/mb_ghalibaf/status/2039321110735712430)
[+7] u/guhhhh_MU: gonna be pretty sweet when the draft is announced tonight. Everyone write their reddit username on your Kevlar helmet
[+7] u/Ok_Passage7069: Ugh my puts are going to hate all of this
[+7] u/ThermalChaser: April Fools' Day was yesterday
[+7] u/KachThebest69: He praises the Iranian president and in the same post he's talking about blasting them into oblivion and back to the stone ages 🤣🤣 what an absolute regard
[+7] u/Upstairs_System_6257: First time he dumped the market instead of pumping it with truth social post. I'm impressed 😂
[+7] u/Acceptable-Win-1985: Fuking Amerifats ruining the pump
[+7] u/dragosoldier1818: Sold for some profit after yesterdays pump, I am gonna watch this one from the sidelines lmao
[+7] u/Nihohaha: DOES IRAN KNOW ABOUT THE CEASEFIRE ? 😂
[+7] u/Vegetable_Divide2193: I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO
[+7] u/Spantastik: Puts too obvious, will pump on hopium
[+7] u/guhhhh_MU: "ANNNNNNND ITS GONE"
[+7] u/daedalus_dance: Why the fuck would he tweet **that** premarket?
[+7] u/Vulthen1: There's a non-zero percent chance that the 🥭 announcement today turns out to be an April fools joke
[+7] u/BiblicalAss: pretty obvious invasion incoming and any talk of ceasefires and iran terms are fake
[+7] u/Bizonistic: Getting 8k (pre-tax) annual bonus today. Let's see how fast I can lose it in the market
[+7] u/socrates4eva: Are we getting rug pull today?
[+7] u/cryptopolymath: We don’t need April Fools anymore, 🥭pranks us daily.
[+7] u/Ok_Test_8920: https://preview.redd.it/yipj2twfwksg1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ba1f2b3e778fb1885c61a14524769b8068512e38
[+7] u/Sea_Condition_6999: Lol NOEM is on the board
[+7] u/LiveMotivation: 🥭 giving you a preview of tonight’s speech. We are out soon, but we must finish the job. Basically saying two opposites. Same shit!!!
[+7] u/borkdpasito: Amazon getting missiled is bullish apparently ? Green premarket
https://x.com/KobeissiLetter/status/2039295206776824139
[+7] u/ModeForJoe: BIG BEAUTIFUL SPEECH tonight!? Don't bother... just watch /ES, /CL, $SPY, $USO, etc... for unusual trade activity in the hours leading up to this. If you have a service that realtime scans for unusual options activity, even better.
Whoever's insider trading probably layered in the trade position during market hours, but that's not 100%. Instead, Mango might be getting pulled left and right by phone calls from Bibi, MBS, Lady Lindsay, Kegsbreath, etc... so even HE isn't sure what direction to go into until just before.
It's likely that the mole dishing out insider info won't know for sure the direction of the speech until just before. One thing's for sure, the speech contents won't be a well-kept secret within the WH inner circle... cat's gonna get outta the bag prior to speech, and I want us to be the first to get to strangle it.
[+7] u/Gom_KBull: 3 weeks from now,
🍑 : We're pretty much done now, so we should be leaving in around 6 7.
[+7] u/Independent-Tree-985: My mango is in full spin mode.
[+7] u/diefy7321: Bers are coping so hard lmfaoooo
[+7] u/PompeiiSketches: Wait… the UK PM said he spoke with the military about how to open the strait and cautioned the citizens that it won’t be easy???
Cheeto changing his story and demanding the strait be opened.
Is this Iraq 2.0??
[+7] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Im old enough to know that in 10 years there will be an ad from a law firm saying, "Did you or a loved one inject peptides, you may be entitled to compensation."
[+7] u/International_Bee653: https://x.com/i/status/2039295206776824139
[+7] u/Specialist_Fig9458: Market going to get nuked one of these days and it’s going to be so fucking funny
[+7] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: You'll become entrance liquidity instead
[+6] u/doolytokki: wait for mid apr when strategic reserves release stop....
no odea how this is bullish. weird
[+6] u/Hegecoin_Rules: How the hell is oil dropping??
[+6] u/Wolfreak76: Yey! The market is irrational again! Stocks go up! Economy goes down! Inflation goes up! Oil goes away!
Good thing you don't need a lot of money pumped into the market to make it rocket if you keep the trading volume low. We could do this forever if everyone just buys one share of everything at a few cents more than the last person.
[+6] u/moazzam0: Leading up to the invasion of Iraq, the market followed a similar correction and then rallied 4% in the last few days right before the invasion. The bottom happens before all the facts are clear.
[+6] u/Rosebunse: My work has begun the annual Easter Egg hunt.
God help us all. People get very heated over it every year.
[+6] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: This is actually insanity
[+6] u/UnDemen: Is it gay if I am turned on by Noem’s husbands big tiddies
[+6] u/Logical-Clerk-1571: Famous mathematician Al-Khwarizmi invented number zero while calculating brain cells of WSB regards
wallahi this pump is fake, and also ber fuk
[+6] u/guhhhh_MU: imagine slowly losing money because u went long on oil..... almost as bad as the fake meat group
[+6] u/Bravadette: Everyone is talking about the titties but not the fsct that it was related to blackmail from the govt? Both can make one uncomfortable no?
Like why would the govt of "the most powerful nation on the planet" need to do that?
[+6] u/Such-Ice1325: What is this daily chart?! Nato, wtf, bull, noem
[+6] u/fredditf: Retail Sales (MoM) (Feb) 0.6% vs 0.5% EST
Core Retail Sales (MoM) (Feb) 0.5% vs 0.3% EST
[+6] u/old-cow666: Leaving nato is bullish ?? Something fishy is going on here.
[+6] u/bhaaaaaaa: I got a pocket full of USO calls. I AM the April Fool.
[+6] u/Leaguefizzics: That pump looks so flaccid
[+6] u/VincenteThomp: What if today is just an April fools joke before the giga crash?
[+6] u/Unh0lyCatf1sh: the announcement tonight has nothing to do with Iran, its actually just him announcing his new Crypto Coin
[+6] u/Bravadette: New ASTS launch date:
April 12, 6:45 AM EST
[+6] u/CEO-of-SOXL: Just finished my 6.50 morning run. Coffee outside now. Let’s get it. Back to bearish.
Sent from Motorola StarTAC
[+6] u/HistorianMuch8963: Who's gonna make life changing money today ?
🫵
[+6] u/walledisney: Woke up feeling great
https://preview.redd.it/qa5v7ev2qksg1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2dfb23e41dd1651c23fa2ba9c14abc764b0de972
[+6] u/CMDR_Shepard96: Oil stocks dumping at $100 a barrel is hilarious
[+6] u/UnDemen: Why every hotel room comes with a cuck chair?
[+6] u/Namtabmal: Its so difficult to go long after a crash if you miss the first green days.
[+6] u/JackTheSister: Trump hyping market before crash due to invasion…
[+6] u/ConsiderationKey1658: boots in yo ass tonight.
[+6] u/GreatRegard: Dip before the Rip or Dump and the Dumber 🫥
[+6] u/FunInteraction9796: dump at open? oil keeps ticking up
[+6] u/Upstairs_System_6257: Market might be a little bit volatile today
[+6] u/Upset-Motor-2602: This is fucking stupid. Radioactive.
[+6] u/Informal_Cockroach_6: That just fucked me OMG
[+6] u/browsk: To the Stone Age it is
[+6] u/WhoLickedMyDumpling: Iran: we demand all cessation of hostilities and prompt exit of US forces...
🥭: Iran asked for ceasefire lolololol
[+6] u/Doclub29: Oke so now the opening of the strait is important again
[+6] u/borkdpasito: Oil today has been nauseating.
Ripped straight back after the 🥭 Truth
[+6] u/Happy-Philosophy9211: Ihave a feeling trump just fucked the market with that for today
[+6] u/RaybanQA: Reality is setting back in.
[+6] u/DatOneBull: 🥭 really thought that tweet was bullish lolol
[+6] u/uwu_owo_whats_this: The market doesn’t believe bro anymore thank god
[+6] u/WhoLickedMyDumpling: Iran isn't going anywhere. Hormuz isn't going to magically open.
Regardless of who's asking, the fact that 🥭 is flipped again to "bombing until they open hormuz" is bearish. The immediate tuck tail and run was the bullish case even if short term.
🥭 rather send whole world into recession than lose face
[+6] u/WombatShwambat: 🥭 on Friday: “Open the Straight or I will war crime you”
🥭 on Monday: “ you know I don’t even want the straight that bad, keep it closed it’s fine, wars over”
[+6] u/CultureForsaken3762: Generational Bagholders were created yesterday.
I hope that 3% one-day gain was worth it!
[+6] u/Clubpenguin8888: Didn’t this guy JUST say he was gonna pull out and let other countries handle it, and now he says he’s gonna continue fighting???
[+6] u/Ghost_nut: Smells like bear market rally in here
[+6] u/Remarkable_Owl: I also have an Iranian New Regime President who is much less radicalized and more intelligent than his predecessors, but he lives two towns over and goes to a different school.
[+6] u/hioman01: BREAKING: WORLD PEACE IS ACHIEVED
[+6] u/MaybeYesMayb: 🥭 needs to shut the fuck up for at least 24 hours 😂
[+6] u/KnewTwoDiss: Oil and Bonds calling out TRUMP on his BS - Both initially dived into the deep end, and now are spiking to the highest levels of the day. Tread Carefully Bulls.
[+6] u/Sad-Entertainer-2808: oil was going up even before trump posted LOL
[+6] u/Specialist_Fig9458: Tonight’s announcement is probably going to be about the moon lmao
[+6] u/Blue_Moon_City: Turns out it was iran president was talking about essential oil
[+6] u/Top-Meaning2626: [prob nothing](https://x.com/i/status/2038841419146899461)
[+6] u/Atti_: I work for the administration and tonights announcement is about initiating a full on regime change at MSFT
[+6] u/hvc801: He taco the taco, do i have that right?
[+6] u/Questing4Greatsword: i need kirsti noem’s husband to get stuck in the suez canal to bring these puts back
[+6] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: dumping off hard and we are still fucking green overnight
[+6] u/TERRAIN_PULL_UP_: Just had my morning coffee and “exit liquidity”
[+6] u/Ascertion: Oil rebounding after last night's dip. I think market will drop.
[+6] u/BillyShears2015: Retail will probably chase the dragon from yesterday, 0dte calls early should make a few bucks
[+6] u/dontslambro: hour straight of selling, people are seeing yesterday as a huge relief rally and continuation is to the downside.
[+6] u/OptionGamble: Today on pedo tweets…
[+6] u/WhipChip1: At this point I can’t differentiate between trading and gambling this might be worse because all my money is balanced on what a mango says
[+6] u/Bxdwfl: this shit head costing me money, talking about bombing iran into oblivion if they don't accept.
[+6] u/pinballwiz: I would not want to be holding any puts / calls after the close of the market today. Someone is about to be gapped hard, and it really could go either way.
[+6] u/Commercial-District1: I’m in manufacturing and our raw material suppliers are all significantly raising prices. Just an FYI for all you call buyers.
[+6] u/Upset-Motor-2602: Iranians are smart people. They know that two can play this game. On the plus side, I am excited to see algos having meltdowns.
[+6] u/DuAbUiSai: 🥱same old shit from 🌮. I ain’t trusting unless its from the ayotollah himself.
[+6] u/DeHunter_54: i thought he said he wanted it close. and now he wants it open??? :(
[+6] u/HalaMadridPapaFlo: Tom Lee: “S&P will hit 8k by this month end.”
[+6] u/NewDawn101: I want some of them Patriot missiles; wasting my tax dollars to shoot them in some desert. Get that shit to my garage
[+6] u/daedalus_dance: I have decided to be ghey bear.
[+6] u/syedhuda: the world discriminates against bers. all we want is to make a few dollars from societal collapse
[+6] u/Fineous400: All the bers are buying puts for tomorrow/this weekend
[+6] u/X211499Reddit: Forget Taco Tuesday it’s Wendy’s Wednesday
[+6] u/MoleculesImplode: people need to realize what 🥭 just said COMPLETELY CONTRADICTS what the market rallied yesterday on rubio's interview - that all objectives of the war was reached and that the strait was for "other countries to solve"
[+6] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: Atp I think the market is in complete denial. Nothing changed yesterday and we're still going up. Reality and the markets have been severed
[+6] u/borkdpasito: Brent should be $120 right now. I’m tired of pretending this isn’t complete bullshit
[+6] u/sftheory: oil expensive, job numbers cooked. so lets pump
[+6] u/astromouse2024: The bacon egg and cheese breakfast sandwich indexes are going crazy right now
[+5] u/Level_Counter3062: Sucks having April fools day land on a day where I need quick accurate advice to save myself financially
[+5] u/kal14144: A special thank you to all the 🏳️🌈🧸 who have sacrificed their accounts to be exit liquidity for the rest of us. Your sacrifice is not in vain.
[+5] u/Nice-Difference8641: Wouldn’t that be entrance liquidity
[+5] u/Acceptable-Win-1985: Thoese that bought puts yesterday thinking that we might fall today are in shambles. Ber r fuk
[+5] u/jakeisarake: Oh no my 1 otm put is definitely expiring worthless today
[+5] u/lysergalien: Oil rejecting 100 is giving pump vibes to me
[+5] u/ADynes: Serious Q: Is NKE a buy at this point? I mean they aren't going away. Last time they were this low was 2015.
[+5] u/terraformingforsogen: Damn NKE guy got annihilated
[+5] u/eoiioe: The Q2 structure is now live: a 5,210 / 6,180 put spread versus a 6,865 short
New JPM collar ending June
[+5] u/AirportMaterial5917: i'm so proud of the europoors for not selling overnight!
[+5] u/fredditf: ADP Nonfarm Employment Change (Mar) 62K vs 41K EST
[+5] u/Bravadette: This shit gonna damp.
[+5] u/No_Fig_7835: The markets just want something to believe in
[+5] u/Difficult-Level7038: Gas is .40 higher this morning so still calls on XLE
[+5] u/North-bound: "blasting Iran into oblivion or, as they say, back to the Stone Ages!!!"
[+5] u/Extremepleasurepro: War ceasefire was all April fool joke lol
We are gonna fight war more harder
[+5] u/No_Bookkeeper6275: Bulls or Bears - We are all fked if this trigger happy guy is at the helm of the largest military in the world
[+5] u/Technicaltrades404: Why are we as a country allowing this blatant market manipulation?
[+5] u/Red_V_Standing_By: Do Iranians celebrate April Fools?
[+5] u/StrongPangolin3: 100%, there's a rugpull coming. Iran is in for the long haul.
[+5] u/Spear_n_Magic_Helmet: bro with all his links ending in `?utm_source=chatgpt.com`
[+5] u/ThouOne: Bers disliking furiously. Shrek shall gracefully penetrate bers’ holes with 3% dicks today.
[+5] u/DealNormal8505: trump is just buying market pump time for the invasion u fools
[+5] u/wenxuan2: Since majority is in puts, market does the max pain which is pumping till every puts goes to zero
[+5] u/nigofe: Market so badly starving for 🥭 updates it forgot it stopped reacting on 🥭 updates
[+5] u/Curious-Visual4525: Market is closed on friday!
I sit in cash for now. gl all degen gamblers!
[+5] u/caliwillbemine: ADP jobs numbers above expectations. Astounding.
[+5] u/TaoTeCha: Damn it's really 50/50 in here. Don't know if we'll pump or dump
[+5] u/Roflcopter71: Biggest bull trap of all time
[+5] u/DegenGonnaDegen: Imagine thinking this ISN'T a lower high
[+5] u/wrongrobertpatrick: Crude now down 1.8 pct — was 2.5 a few min ago
[+5] u/neverseengreen: If i remember correctly 🥭 is superstitious so he wont announce anything on Iran today. He will probably send the market tomorrow
[+5] u/teh_herper: Remember when we were discussing bout silver, metals, minerals, SPY to 800 and all that good stuff? Those felt so far back they were the good 'ol days lol
[+5] u/TheWizardOfFries: Great, nothing fucky about the market today. Fantastic
[+5] u/New-Length5593: This shit looking sketchy
[+5] u/Perfect-Mixture-3577: The boy who cried ceasefire
[+5] u/wright_on_: Efficient markets hypothesis found dead in a ditch
[+5] u/Perfect-Mixture-3577: Least schizo mango tweet
[+5] u/Similar_Landscape116: Welp, that's it, the top is in.
[+5] u/Successful-End7689: bye bye gains lmao glad i sold my calls yesterday
[+5] u/jmc774: 🥭 with the funny April fools tweet.
[+5] u/Expert_Agency1097: My puts will they be saved 🐻
[+5] u/frogboyjr: tbf why would America agree to a ceasefire if it doesn't get the strait open
[+5] u/jasperCrow: Of course they don’t let us have any of the fun
[+5] u/Unhappy_Hedgehog_808: Wild watching the near instant reflection in the markets from Trump’s “truths”. What a system.
[+5] u/hardcrepe: That’s right, sir 🥭. You’re the King of the Pump! Don’t let those Iranians co-opt your special ability.
[+5] u/claytondpark: 🥭 gonna say something regarded, guaranteed
[+5] u/Nervous-Basis-1707: Spy gonna drop hard, tonight’s fakeout pump won’t be necessary since we pumped so hard this week already.
[+5] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: Mangos said we will continue blowing sht up
[+5] u/borkdpasito: 🥭 forgot to stick to the web of lies he’s got himself into
[+5] u/teh_herper: We're actually gonna open red lmao
[+5] u/BillyShears2015: Boots will hit the ground *before* 🥭 announces it tonight. Don’t get caught with your britches down
[+5] u/wiisports101: Why did I buy puts during a war am I retarded?
[+5] u/Metacog_Drivel: I'm a simple man, when I see CNBC run a "Markets in Turmoil" special, I buy.
[+5] u/HandsOnTheBible: Iran set to attach tech companies in the Middle East starting at noon ET btw
Unless you believe in the cucked ceasefire
[+5] u/txholdem: i thought they always did yoy comparison. now they are comparing job gain with last month on yahoo finance?
[+5] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: 🥭 just completely contradicted himself with this whole “Iran president asked for a ceasefire but us wants Hormuz straits open first “ which is why market is slowly selling off and oil is rising again
Also Iran president has no authority
and is more of just a symbolism position lol
[+5] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: this turbulence is making me sick
[+5] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: The oil calls im short are about to get a tough mark
[+5] u/browsk: I love seeing CNBC slamming this private credit bullshit
[+5] u/RevisedPerspective: I should have cut my losses when we opened yesterday, but I was so convinced it was just another bluff that I held anyway.
I should sell my puts at open while they're worth saving, but I still believe war isn't over. Gah.
[+5] u/Mr_Madrass: The fine art of no clue at all
[+5] u/bittertan: This man has no class
[+5] u/Remarkable_Owl: This fucker does know that the Iranian presidential office is merely symbolic, right? The prime minister position has actual authority.
[+5] u/Bigamungus: Bulls sold their calls yesterday when they were up like 900% right? Surely.
[+5] u/Ok_Test_8920: The Ballad of Whore Moose isn't complete .
[+5] u/Specialist_Fig9458: “The moon, very old fashioned term, means big rock in orbit… not too many people know that”
[+5] u/BarbellPadawan: Odd… so we *don’t* have a ceasefire?
[+5] u/Stack_Johnson: My 401k balance shows $0 today… sure hope it’s an April fools
[+5] u/NewDawn101: War has never tanked the stocks, we got a healthy corrections using the war as an excuse. But it’s back to regular scheduled pumping
[+5] u/Unusual-Exercise-462: is spy going to pump or dump? i think dump to correct the fake pump from yesterday but what do yall think
[+5] u/Fieryhotsauce: I swear BULL is always listed as most discussed for the day but no one is ever talking about it. Are we being gaslit? Piece of shit stock.
[+5] u/BksBrain: Hey dad, what’s a dead cat bounce??
[+5] u/DingleJingle_: So mango believes the same fake news the market believes.
[+5] u/ContributeAVerse: Moon mission starts today 🌕
[+5] u/Soffatjockis: Dicks out for Hormuz.
You will not be missed.
[+5] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Over the last six months if you bought SPY at close and sold at open you’d be up 2% apparently
[+5] u/DandierChip: Everyone expecting him to announce it’s over tonight. I could see a uno reverse card and its announcements of a boots on the ground invasion.
[+5] u/shinigami_2245: So anyway, I started blasting!
[+5] u/CEOofBeanz: **BREAKING NEWS:** *TIM APPLE UNLEASHES A PREEMPTIVE STRIKE AGAINST IRAN AFTER RECENT THREATS*
[+5] u/hermeskino715: If the market was smart, and it isn't right now, then we should just stall the entire day until the speech. So let my theta plays play out please. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
[+5] u/SoloOutdoor: Felon Muskrat needs to come out with a ticker called GOON
[+5] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: Someone pointed out yesterday that there was heavy volume going into QQQ puts yesterday before close, opposite of the day before
[+5] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: I need a 3% pull back by April 6 to break even. Guhhhhhhh
[+5] u/br0botic: Getting woken up early by your neighbor mowing the lawn is so annoying
[+5] u/Shurlak: Theres no way this is it, it cant be over i need it lower why the market hurts me so much
[+5] u/borkdpasito: I think the futes are a mirage for exit liquidity - it feels like we can easily rip back down to 630
[+5] u/mrmagootoyou2: That Taco Tweet had potential until the end
[+5] u/guhhhh_MU: still kinda angry about MU deciding it wanted to shed 10% the other day
[+5] u/tika_dengu: with Private credit, AI bubble and War FUD behind us, DOW to 50k 🚀
[+5] u/Throwaway18987987: Ridiculously OTM Spy poots are still so expensive.
[+5] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: Unfortunately his dad's was not as strong
[+24] u/JugoShvili: S&P up 4% on reports Lucy will really let Charlie Brown kick the football for real this time
[+21] u/letsgocaca: If SPY drops to 640 today, i will shove 10 ice cubes up my ass
[+17] u/Dat-Boi-6122: Its so disgusting that our financial future is in the hands of these idiots and their tweets...
[+17] u/Comfortable-Sky7801: Im not buying shiiit. Im almost conviced Friday is go time for an invasion. Ceasefire my ass, you dont move that many troops for nothing.
[+16] u/Voenker: >Until then, we are blasting Iran into oblivion or, as they say, back to the Stone Ages!!!
Very presidential. Oil calls it is.
[+16] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: The announcement is leaving nato
[+16] u/hey-coffee-eyes: Watching Game of Thrones for the first time to get away from stressing about politics and war. Just a nice, light fantasy show about a cool guy named Ned. Can't wait to see his character arc throughout all the seasons!
[+15] u/gomper: Just sitting on my hands no idea what the play is for today
[+15] u/PeachScary413: > market running on nothing but fumes and copium 🏃♂️
> goes down slightly
> bul: y crash
[+14] u/CD274: Buffet waiting for bigger move down, said March was nothing.
No shit sherlock
[+14] u/Envirant: To me this all seems like a prelude to cascading force majeure declarations and one of the single biggest 1 day market drops in history.
[+14] u/Candid_Analyst_9040: Pretty sure 🥭 will blame NATO for this mess tonight, announce he is pulling out, and because of their lack of support we are going to have to secure everything on our own aka boots on the ground. Check it.
[+13] u/DufflebagJoe: Bols are a bit too cocky this morning.
[+13] u/cashflow_: Iran threatens tech companies….Iran wants cease fire…k
[+13] u/Living-Giraffe4849: First moves always fake this is gonna be deep red the last hour
[+13] u/TheBlueBlaze: > Presidential Address on War with Iran
Oh shit we might have reached a deal?
> Scheduled for 9pm EDT
Oh fuck we're sending troops in aren't we?
[+13] u/Powerful_Rub_4051: People believing the war will end immediately are dumb as hell
[+13] u/Starkfault: This is 10% luck, 20% skill, 15% concentrated power of will, 5% pleasure, 50% pain, and 100% bags
[+12] u/cresstheory2016: Keep going up the. The cheaper the puts, the better.
[+12] u/wasifaiboply: Any tweets are bullshit. The war is on. They've delayed boots as long as they can trying to suck dicks to get Iran to back down and Iran has repeatedly spit in their face.
Because a) the U.S. has zero leverage after starting a fucking jihad on behalf of Israel b) this has never been about nukes, just oil and c) Russia and China are both at Iran's back.
It hasn't even started yet. Anyone overleveraged and not hedged is going to get vaporized.
🌈🐻⏰️
[+12] u/RisingToMediocrity: Bearpocolypse!!!! Market doesn’t care for reality.
[+12] u/Ok_Wealth_3433: Lmao bears (my puts are -50% and will now no longer be gay)
[+12] u/PassiveF1st: Sometimes I just buy a slew of 0DTEs, close my brokerage and just say I'll close these out after lunch. Win or Lose :)
[+12] u/KarlLachsfeld: This feels like an absolute bull trap, and I say that as a bull...
[+12] u/fightoraccept: I'm going to make money today... April fools ☺️
[+11] u/PhotoSpheres: Bout to jestermax in 5 mins
[+11] u/phagebiscotti: When you buy an option and it immediately violently changes directions 🥲
[+11] u/dayne_stevenson: Who else bought puts at the bottom!? #imregarded
[+10] u/Chemical-Coconut-203: When rugpull?! When dump?!
...Wendy's job application. Wendy's nuts.
[+10] u/YeeyeeTigOlBitties: Speech tonight: *If I leaveee here tomorrrrowwww*
[+10] u/knoqd_: > IRAN: STRAIT WON'T REOPEN BASED ON TRUMP'S 'ABSURD' DISPLAYS; ONLY IRAN AND OMAN WILL DECIDE THE FUTURE OF THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ
[+10] u/Marshmallowmind2: Nearly a year from the tarrifs! Bloody hell time has flown
[+10] u/Starkfault: Mods are cool irl
>!april fools!<
[+10] u/Oneok-Field: Dave and Busters mooning, recession confirmed
[+10] u/Longjumping-One-7022: Amazon center hit in Middle East lol
[+10] u/kairepaire: Ok, looking at all the news... it's pretty clear this is a dead cat bounce
[+10] u/The_Juice_Gourd: Getting destroyed by all these April Fools
[+10] u/Spiritual_Taste_1253: War is escalating and long weekend. Tommorow is gonna be the most obvious crash I’ve ever seen, no way people aren’t profit taking
[+10] u/BlitzComet95: This drop will be biblical
[+10] u/Spiritual-End7310: About three more hours until tech companies get blasted out of the Middle East, according to Iran’s tweet from yesterday
[+9] u/sauronII: Iran just grabbed me by the hormuz! reeeee
[+9] u/sloanemonroe: Makes no sense. As usual.
[+9] u/kairepaire: Bols are getting too arrogant
[+9] u/Playless: everyone buying puts again like yesterday?
[+9] u/ArkAngelEV: let me break it down for the long term smooth brains and new lurkers. You buy every fucking dip that ever occurs because assets are the ONLY thing that matters in this world.
Consider the small dip we suffered from a WORLDWIDE pandemic that killed millions. If that’s not enough to cause a -80% crash; nothing will.
2008 proved that the USA will NEVER allow a sustained crash ever again. People say entertainment is our major export to the world but i call HORSE 💩; our major export is the cheapest accessible way to own assets. They don’t even have to be real. Chew on that.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
SPY 770 within two years, SPY 1600 in 2032
[+9] u/Unemployable1593: you can tell how many regards got blown up when automod is a top commenter
[+9] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: Lord whatever I have done to someone that I am not aware I am sorry. It just should not be possible to get the direction wrong this many times in a row without divine intervention
[+9] u/nvidia69420: Imagine if mango’s announcement is the start of the selective draft service
[+9] u/alldawgsgotoheaven2: He just lie and lies and lies…. He’s gonna lie tonight too and tomorrow… lies. More lies.
[+9] u/nthnreallymatters: we're never gonna get a -5% or greater day again are we
sad that we have so many buy the dip tards
[+9] u/Fresh_Internal_6085: So Iran has a ‘new regime president’..?
WTF is he even talking about..?
[+9] u/cruisin_urchin87: Iran hit Amazon servers in Bahrain.
My Google shares will fly?
[+9] u/Mediocre_Pangolin572: FAKE PUMP YOU BUM BOYS ARE IN FOR A RUDE AWAKENING.
[+9] u/TraipseTraveller: Anyone else love refreshing their portfolio every second?
[+9] u/bigmeatbag: Donnie gonna pull out of Iran like it's a 13 year old girl he's done with.
[+9] u/karlelzz011: Hormuz closed, obliteration incoming
[+8] u/Perfectly_Splendid89: man i lost so much money yesterday and I don't want to play casino today.
I hate the next day after a big loss.
[+8] u/wallstreetdiva37: Sell calls at open and then buy puts for the day. Got it. 🫠
[+8] u/fateoftheg0dz: Kinda crazy its within the realm of possibility that Trump will make some outrageous statement later and hit us with the “just kidding, April’s fools”
[+8] u/potato111a: Burry tweeted "Shorts are not forever" and ure buying puts?? LMAO 🤌
[+8] u/Saturn_winter: The gap in price between puts and calls is hilarious. Line might be green but it's pretty obvious everyone's thinking the same thing lmao
[+8] u/Mindless-Sabrina: The market can go back to ATH and Reddit will still say it’s a fake rally while their puts are -98%
[+8] u/Phandomtrigger: Imma wait this is sus movement
[+8] u/Solid-Season9984: #Just like Jesus SPY rose from the dead
[+8] u/TraipseTraveller: Do the opposite of what this sub says and profit. Ez game. Ez life
[+8] u/-Nods-: Took profit, entering bear stance again.
[+8] u/peterpeer9: SPY: April fools! I'm actually going to -3% today
[+8] u/Snoo23417: OK that drop made up for my losses from yesterday. Now onto new, shinier losses today!
[+8] u/ohshitski: lol buls are praying rn
[+8] u/FrostingOk2692: damn, they turned kristi into a stock
[+8] u/cheetles_plus: Trump announcing leaving NATO is bearish it appears
[+8] u/zestykite: What if mango just blames Dems for the whole speech? Stocks up or down?
[+8] u/Infinite-Anybody204: ITS CRASHING (up .7%)
[+8] u/Infinite-Anybody204: Fuck did someone even say thank you for the green yesterday?
[+8] u/ChazP02: Wiped out my whole years gains today
[+8] u/Paul_Robert_: Guys, it was all an April fools joke! SPY is actually $705 rn!
Source:
[+8] u/vonnylai: April fools it’s a chop day
[+8] u/TheMightySet69: Nobody's falling for another fake ceasefire
[+8] u/Samjabr: I know im getting theta'd, but I am so stupid, I stick around.
[+8] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: Watching one minute SPY candles is more stressful than surgery.
[+8] u/Rolltide43: Besides Israel, the war is actually winding down a fair amount. I really don’t think Iran wants to continue this much longer or has the ability to cause much damage. We are dealing with with two 🌮 who like to posture with strength.
[+8] u/Ecodriverz: Spy has now touched opening price 16 times today and it’s only 10
[+8] u/Defiant-Fee-7550: 𝘑𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘪𝘵
\- Nike 2026
[+8] u/TheMightySet69: Time to give up those ill-gotten gains from yesterday, SPY.
[+8] u/lax_street: 640 by Thursday. prepare accordingly
[+8] u/fewthingsarerelated: Nice I'm up $75 total on my micron calls after being down $6k yesterday. You just gotta have faith.
[+8] u/SeriousPen182: Im the double champ of losing money to the stock market
[+7] u/svpa3991: Shwab so funny man. Showing my puts are deep red. April fools but you can make it green now haha please? Haha…
[+7] u/soccer29801830: My bad for thinking the market would act rationally to the shortages and incoming inflation
[+7] u/wildcat1055: Is the war over?
Bears were about to enlist and help keep this going
[+7] u/DuaLipa247: MSFT community members report to Kharg island immediately
[+7] u/Several_Bread_9144: Is this the santa rally starting?
[+7] u/Mr_ThrowAwayJohnson: 🥭 threatening to leave NATO seems to not have been priced in yet.
[+7] u/TempestDrive: I’ll accept the loss for today bers. I sold most of my calls anyways
[+7] u/knoqd_: Strait will reopen? Calls
Strait won’t reopen? Believe it or not, calls
[+7] u/Just_Learned_This: Theta til announcement
[+7] u/illicit_FROG: Whatever liquidity pushed it up yesterday seems to have evaporated.
[+7] u/zeusbox: War is over - 🥭
_shortly after._
Aprils Fool - 🥭
[+7] u/vgavina10: It’s going to end red today. I hopium.
[+7] u/nolanjp: Fuck google. I held from 170 to 350 only to sell on monday at 270 and now it pumps back up
[+7] u/Legitimate_Prior_803: Is it just a coincidence that 🥭 Address tonight is being held on April Fools day?
[+7] u/General-Giraffe9092: Our market is a meme
[+7] u/SlfImpr: Getting so many mixed messages - boots on the ground OR we pulling out???
* April 1: National televised speeches by US President, British Prime Minister, Australian Prime Minister **on the same day**
* 12 US A-10C Thunderbolt IIs - also known as the Warthog - were spotted landing at RAF Lakenheath (UK) on Monday evening. Another contingent was expected to arrive on Tuesday night amid speculation they were heading towards the Middle East to participate in US operations over Iran - the aircraft is designed to support ground forces in combat
* USS Tripoli arrived in Middle East with 3,500 troops aboard, USS Boxer is on its way
>**BUT** President Trump said yesterday that we will be leaving Iran very soon (2-3 weeks):
Trump's remarks came in response to a question about gas prices — asked what he would do about it, Trump said: "All I have to do is leave Iran, and we'll be doing that very soon, and they'll become tumbling down."
"I would say that within two weeks, maybe two weeks, maybe three," he added.
"We'll be leaving very soon. And if France or some other country wants to get oil or gas, they'll go up through the strait, the Hormuz Strait, they'll go right up there, and they'll be able to fend for themselves. I think it'll be very safe, actually, but we have nothing to do with that. What happens with the strait? We're not going to have anything to do with it," he said.
[+7] u/TraipseTraveller: Lots of bots in here
[+7] u/pixi88: Remember ya'll.. tomorrow is the last trading day for the week.
[+7] u/Locke_____Lamora: Bought 20k in next week puts right at the top 🤑
[+7] u/DuaLipa247: Bulls really thought, when 🥭 sends all of you to the front lines bears gonna sex your baby mommas
[+7] u/f0xinaround: Wait there's a sasquatch emoji???
[+7] u/Paul_Robert_: Thank you for providing me with this crucial information
[+7] u/TempestDrive: Doesn’t matter if you’re ber or bol, we’re ALL laughing at MSFT bag holders
[+7] u/2020isgreat: US ISM Manufacturing PMI Actual 52.7 (Forecast 52.3, Previous 52.4)
US ISM Mfg. Employment Index Actual 48.7 (Forecast 49, Previous 48.8)
US ISM Mfg. New Orders Index Actual 53.5 (Forecast 54.5, Previous 55.8)
US ISM Mfg. Prices Paid Actual 78.3 (Forecast 74, Previous 70.5)
[+7] u/Dorkasteri: The US getting out of NATO creates a shit load of uncertainty and geographical risks. The US based companies operate widely in Eastern/Middle-European countries and possible war there can’t be good for them. Only one who profits from this is Putin.
Thanks Obama.
[+7] u/Stop_The_Rain: Normally a bull but this is dumb...
[+7] u/Jdom666: yeah i’m not watching this i have things to do. i just know we dump tmrw
[+7] u/Ancient_Building_529: Just bought some SPY 0DTE 660C and 650P. I can't lose now... unless
[+7] u/Hardbun: Tomorrow's definitely red
[+7] u/EntrepreneurOld7858: Bers saw a single red candle and started jorkin it. When will you fuckin dorks learn
🫵😂
[+7] u/Ready_Scratch_1902: buy the dip was 2020
2026 is sell the wick
[+7] u/Steamcurl: This is flatter than me in junior high....
[+7] u/Phandomtrigger: Perhaps the greatest fools were us thinking we could make money
[+7] u/kairepaire: Whatever the market does today, it doesn't matter. The announcement can change everything by tomorrow
[+6] u/Blacksin01: People need to remember that the IRGC and the iranian government are two separate entities.
[+6] u/lookingforajob2020: someone talk me into taking profit and selling all my 1dte spy calls right now before it's too late
[+6] u/Beagle001: Uso didn’t correct much. That’s the deal.
[+6] u/GrandBarnacle575: The pump yesterday had nothing to do with the war, it was all end of quarter rebalancing with pensions and 401ks getting back to their target 60/40 percentages
[+6] u/TraipseTraveller: Majority of this sub couldn't have been any more wrong in the past 3 days. It's comical
[+6] u/analgape4206969: My puts are down 80% guess ill buy more
[+6] u/saw-it: Ground invasion announcement tonight
[+6] u/shmito17: Sheesh, that 5m red candle
[+6] u/TempestDrive: At first I was mad I missed out on MSFT calls. Now I’m not so mad
[+6] u/stupidber: Eye ran better not drone strike my MSFT calls I'm down enough already
[+6] u/sconnie64: The wise words of Kai Ryssdal - "This market is an Idiot"
[+6] u/TimeOnTargetKilo: Everyday I buy puts it doesn’t bleeeed
[+6] u/sloanemonroe: C’mon man. Is the market really back to being 100% illogical again?!
[+6] u/vgavina10: I bought a puts so everyone buy now buy now! It’s about to skyrocket ong
[+6] u/iFiredIce: Ya guys think Mango and Saylor are homies? They could bond over their love for creating bag holders
[+6] u/centered_chaos: Retail traders are exit liquidity...
[+6] u/big_chestnut: i hate being a bear so much im going to sell my puts and buy calls now
[+6] u/vandalofnation: If iran agrees to ceasefire and submits to all our demands spy is at 900 in one second. If iran says no and bombs all the oil infrastructure in the middle east we will stay flat to maybe up only 0.5%.
[+6] u/Kooky_Resource6348: Bro i cant catch a break with Microsoft holy fuck
[+6] u/TempestDrive: Only bers are retarded enough to send young US soldiers to die for their -57% ports
[+6] u/Necessary_Fly_9266: Ask yourself this, if the previous attacks weren’t announced, why is today different?
[+6] u/csr8765: You just can’t help but laugh at the Microsoft bulltards
[+6] u/nthnreallymatters: Imagine looking at a financial statement before evaluating a stock
Imagine working at a fund building a DCF
Lmao the only thing that matters is tweets and vibes
[+6] u/Wind_Ensemble: Where's this whore moose everyone keeps talking about, let me add em
[+6] u/ManyHead6662: I used to be a gey ber now im just gey
[+6] u/AquamDeus: i'm here 10 minutes from the future... you're still regarded
[+6] u/BreakingBadBones: 40k+ troops in the area, sent additional, said yesterday the war would be over in 2+ weeks without ceasefire as a prerequisite, will address the nation today - people think he will declare victory and leave? Why the fk do people think he will do this? An escalation is imminent, whether it’s a broad bombardment or boots
[+6] u/2020isgreat: TRUMP: DOES NOT CARE ABOUT NUCLEAR MATERIAL; WILL WATCH BY SATELLITE
huh
[+6] u/nikerock: Hm, lots of doom and gloom in here, which can only mean that market will pump like crazy tonight following regard in chief's gloating on Iran. Like fucking COVID all over again.
[+6] u/ChampionshipOdd947: T-minus three hours until Iran starts attacking tech companies
[+6] u/lschoch2: I bought the dip all the way down but didn’t at the bottom 🤡
[+6] u/Fast-Steak-7730: Bulls off to a weak start today 😱
[+6] u/EnvironmentalSelf438: ship just hit in DOHA
[+5] u/MrNo_Balls: time to lose more money
[+5] u/Oneok-Field: Put/Call ratio mooning 🫣
[+5] u/Fresh_Internal_6085: 1) War is very complete
2) bomb more stuff
3) we are in negotiations
4) bomb the stuff we bombed before
5) send troops, deny ground invasion
6) bomb some more
7) send in ground troops
8) claim war is even more very complete
9) pamp it
[+5] u/BullyMog: My spy puts are fucking fried
[+5] u/TheIronButt: The truth social website ads are beyond parody, even Idiocracy didn’t think they’d be this stupid
[+5] u/Slow-Information-847: Buy Oil in Every Dip! We have sent in 3 carrier groups, 2 amphibious assault groups, and all the best soldiers we have ever had, 82nd from air, 31st from the sea. If 🥭 TACOs at 9pm, he will be the biggest ghey in entire human history!
[+5] u/Jdom666: it’s weird having puts but it feels good idk
[+5] u/triwyn: so exhausted from monitoring the situation. could someone take over for me please?
[+5] u/Burtonwurton: Why the fuck are you this way MSFT.
[+5] u/Potential-Plum7187: Put buyers hate money
[+5] u/Cold_Distribution273: I expect some bleeding prior to the speech because 🥭 is a loose cannon at best. 50/50 wars over or we're taking the oil!
[+5] u/907cconnak: Apparently you retards dont know shit ab politics and it makes so much sense
[+5] u/DonaldTheAnt: Amazing, the entire board is now made of meme stocks: NOEM, NATO, BULL, TSLA, and especially, our favorite: Spy!
[+5] u/cats_are_gay_ama: Calls on everything it is
[+5] u/Pernicious_Pearl: weather app lied to me again
[+5] u/NOMADGRUBS: AMAZON!!!
AMAZON!!!
AMAZON!!!
AMAZON!!!
AMAZON!!!
[+5] u/StockB0Y: Why we green he said he will bomb them more
[+5] u/Kabrosif: Markets Rose 13% after initial Dump prior to 08’ before dumping 30% after. This your last warning bols. Enjoy the fake pump while it lasts.
[+5] u/Electronic-Tax-1641: Feeling a $15 Tesla drop idk why
[+5] u/HolographicHeart: Market about as real as your chances with Sydney Sweeney
[+5] u/PinealTone: Iran rejects 🥭 claims that Tehran asked for a ceasefire.. lulz..
[+5] u/xironically23: I bought an spx call at the top 😭
[+5] u/ring_of_slattern: It's not really a dead cat when it's reacting to news. Given the news though, it's basically just cope
[+5] u/Playless: is it still end of quarter rebalancing
[+5] u/unclefire: When does Iran talk shit to send the market back down?
[+5] u/Paul_Robert_: <---- This is Larry. Larry doesn't buy WeBull stock. Be like Larry
[+5] u/sufficiently7777: Hahahahah. Fucking retard bers got cocky for like 10 minutes
[+5] u/orobsky: I think 🥭 tries to pump the market tonight before the long weekend
[+5] u/Extension-Ad917: Market might be getting a little ahead of itself here
[+5] u/4TheGhostCat: Market has gone green after every 🥭 primetime speech.
(Liberation Day speech was not primetime)
[+5] u/Jeremy1013: VIX GETTING READY TO FLYYY
[+5] u/90sRiceWagon: Ofcourse my monthly DCA goes in after the fattest green candle of the year
[+26] u/darthjarhead: Everybody is wondering why the market has been pumping the last two days and the answer is simple, I bought puts.
You are all welcome.
[+22] u/Small-Maintenance-65: if dropping 4% in 4 days is a correciton, what the fuck is pumping 4.5% in less than 48h?
[+19] u/LaserBeamer17: Israel blaring sirens across the country right now, new wave of Iranian attacks imminent.
Iran released statements saying 🥭 is lying through his teeth and the strait will always be under Iranian control.
Back down we go, time to switch from calls to puts.
[+17] u/Scedasticity1: Monday
Trump: "We might leave Iran without opening the Strait."
The market: "Yay!"
Wednesday
Trump: "We will only consider a ceasefire if the Strait is opened."
The market: "Yay!"
At least one of these reactions makes no sense.
[+16] u/mmjI: IRANIAN FOREIGN MINISTRY SPOKESPERSON SAYS TRUMP'S STATEMENTS ABOUT IRAN REQUESTING A CEASEFIRE ARE FALSE AND BASELESS
[+16] u/MRROSADOH: fuck this shit im jerking off
[+15] u/1-800-FunkMaster: Donny in talks w a local Iranian supermarket manager negotiating a peace deal as we speak.
Does the IRGC know about this
[+15] u/Helios-Sol: #permabull here going cash gang, smell you later losers
[+14] u/Alarming_Assistant21: The drop that is incoming is gonna be hard on some of you
[+14] u/WayDry848: IRANIAN FOREIGN MINISTRY SPOKESPERSON SAYS TRUMP'S STATEMENTS ABOUT IRAN REQUESTING A CEASEFIRE ARE FALSE AND BASELESS
bullish
[+14] u/justarandumthrowaway: im starting to begin to consider thinking that maybe there’s a possibility that i could potentially just be gambling….
[+13] u/iTouchStuff: last time trump made an announcement this big he slapped a 30% tariff on an island of penguins
[+13] u/justarandumthrowaway: SPYCONNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECTT
[+13] u/dylanx5150: Imagine talking shit about your friends for years and then getting mad when they don't come to your rescue when you start a fight with someone. 😂
[+13] u/Diamond-Solo: Retard always wrong.
Inverts himself.
Retard actually right for once.
Retard loses.
[+13] u/drpa1n: Market running wild on enriched weapons grade hopium
[+12] u/VOO_bull_forever: # just need 320k to break even for the year.... orange man fucked my asshole
[+12] u/Fkn1v1mem8: Bulls win “stonks go up” is the only valid thesis
[+12] u/LarsTarkas: I'm not touching this today. The whole thing is being fueled by hopium and fomo
[+12] u/Spicyboi981: My puts look disgusting. Illiquid, nipples protruding.
[+12] u/TreGet234: Buying puts until i become either rich or insolvent.
[+11] u/AlarmedPelican: I took puts. Prepare for euphoria
[+11] u/Antique-Flight-5358: # Iran war live: Iran rejects Trump claims that Tehran asked for a ceasefire
[+11] u/MoreOutcome8541: It must be so easy to play retail as a market maker. No wonder these guys rake it in
[+11] u/cityexile: Only thing I feel confident in right now are calls in the Iranian 2030 Paralympic team.
[+11] u/Early_Material_4021: "Iran’s FM Araghchi says the country has made no ceasefire proposal" ohh boy here we go again
[+11] u/Candyman8876: I genuinely do not understand what this giant pump is from! Iran says mango is lying, oil is through the roof, there is no good news here for this market to be doing this. What the actual fuck?
[+11] u/1111thatsfiveones: What the actual fuck is happening? Iran has publicly denied that they want a ceasefire, they just attacked Amazon, and we're fucking climbing?
[+11] u/CriticalAnt2057: Being down $7K was not on my bingo card today
[+11] u/Smuvmuniz: This is just moronic at this point
[+11] u/Mikos_Enduro: this market is more crooked than bryon noem's titties
[+10] u/isolated-cat: all the big moves are made pre market. scrambling for scraps during market
[+10] u/Ill-Train2943: This pump is fake cuz it’s April Fool’s Day
[+10] u/Flat-Focus7966: Buying oil is a safer bet than buying spy puts at this point imo ..
[+10] u/Dr_Vibe_Check: All they gotta do now is announce they’re lowering the Costco hotdogs combo to 1.25, we’d hit 700 within the hour
[+10] u/bigjimsribs: Did I fucking miss something here, what is pumping these algos
[+10] u/BerryExpress: hey 🫵 dum ber. are u familiar with stages of grief?
LMAO
[+10] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: “He can’t wriggle his way out of it this time, the strait is still closed, the oil isn’t flowing, and the helium! Think of the helium!”
…
“Ah, well. He’s managed to wriggle out of it this time, but next time I’m sure he will face consequences”
[+10] u/PennyStonkingtonIII: Ok - final guess. He's trying to keep the market somewhat propped because he's going all in and knows that will cause a big drop when it happens. I am really not sure how anyone is even half-way buying anything he says with the now it's on/now it's off bullshit. And your first thought is going to be, well nobody is! except we're somehow green every day this week.
[+10] u/pekas13: A $50 million buy order just went through that spy will be below 627. That’s on one single block. WTF
[+9] u/SpringFuzzy: Crude: $103 —> $99
Market: Clear skies ahead!
I’ve got a bridge to sell you..
[+9] u/Big-Scene-4935: Market won’t fall as long as I hold this put
[+9] u/yushey__: My favourite hobby is buying 0dte options. And going for a shower. And then coming back and checking price
[+9] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: Bers arent just punching air at this point, the airs punching them now
[+9] u/Oldschoolhype2: Market is pumping off of bol produced methane.
[+9] u/Numerous_Put4717: Guarantee. Ballroom mentioned more times than Iran 2nite
[+9] u/Pro-Tip810: I would like a chance to proofread the address at 9pm please.
[+9] u/1-800-FunkMaster: With the U.S. sending hella troops and Iran refusing a ceasefire, wtf is the market so optimistic about
[+9] u/pineapplekiwipen: iran leaders must be completely befuddled that the market is buying these stories lmao
[+9] u/ClamSlapper71: Puts riiiiiiight here
[+9] u/Beginning-Fig-9089: DJT: Talks have been going well
Strait of Hormuz: I have no idea who they have been talking to.
[+9] u/Neat-Concentrate-239: MARKET IS MORE REGARDED THAN I AM. AND YOU WILL NEVER CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE
[+9] u/SpitefulSeagull: Iran already said his latest claim is, just like every other claim, complete bullshit
The fact that the media and people still take his word at this point is just amazing to me. Most people really don't think at all huh
[+9] u/Educational-Cat-2553: maybe the real talks are all the truths he posted along the way
[+9] u/TheSauce69: Sometimes I feel bad for bers, but then I remember they want the world to collapse so they can make $30
[+9] u/Twelvesthegreat: Bombing amazon web services servers is bullish for AMZN
[+9] u/FinishWarm1746: This market literally runs on hopeium
[+9] u/arbitraryBlue: I remember the last time the euphoria was this high, I will be planning accordingly
[+9] u/Convillious: I scalped $25 in profit from options this morning
[+9] u/kojima_you_genius: Tonight he announces war over, straight open, it was all just a misunderstanding. Market up 10% tomorrow. We invade on Friday.
[+9] u/xXFoxyGrandpaXx: Trump said he might withdraw from NATO and we’re pumping?
[+9] u/OkLength37: You just roll in from stupid town?
[+8] u/Warm_Implement3088: SNDK isn't worth 700 get outta here
[+8] u/cow_grass: Feeling cute. Might full port into puts
[+8] u/zoomin1098: I hear deflationary spirals are a real bitch, just ask Japan.
[+8] u/crazyfool319: When the market is deep red CNBC analysts talk about how scared and bearish they are.....When market is bigly green the same CNBC analysts talk about what stocks to buy and how bullish they are **😂😂😂**
[+8] u/SovietPower777: Idiots who are buying this on the top
[+8] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: The objectively funny thing is that even if it does crash from here, it’s crashing from $656 and not $625.
He literally and figuratively fucked put holders this week.
[+8] u/Agreeable_Language88: My prediction is that the dump tmrw will be one of the biggest dumps we've seen ytd so far.
[+8] u/xjcln: This idea that mango would do a televised speech announcing escalation and invasion is so strange to me. Ya'll have to keep in mind this is the man who fires people by tweet instead of looking them in the eye and saying they're fired. Trump doesn't like doing difficult stuff, only fun stuff. If the news was bad you'd best believe it'd be Hegseth or Rubio breaking it. The only kind of stuff Trump wants say is mission accomplished.
[+8] u/Beneficial-Brick-852: How should I raise my future children so that they don't become bers?
[+8] u/afishinacar: MSFT going red, the world is healing.
[+8] u/Xzlk: It could be worse, you could be as regarded as this guy ^
[+8] u/Double_Anybody: How tf do I inverse myself? I went short yesterday then went long today at the top when my brain was screaming to go short again. It’s like everything I do is wrong lol
[+8] u/TrickyDickCheney: The rug going to get pulled so hard once oil takes off
[+8] u/jazzyjjcups: amazing deadcat bounce when the ground reality hasn't changed
[+8] u/Antique-Flight-5358: where are they finding more idiots to buy
[+8] u/HomeMadeToast: Pretty insane literally no one knows what to expect tn (except our boy Baron) 🤣
[+8] u/cosmicoconuts: Market order sell failed 😳wtf
[+8] u/HelloViggomanFanHere: okay, so i might have ported fully into puts a bit early
[+8] u/PristineDiscount3208: don't believe a damn thing you read or hear today.
[+8] u/Scarfaceb1tch: Good god this market is retarded
[+8] u/btw1217: Whatever happens here some of us will lose money, and the rest of us will also lose money.
[+8] u/rugbyliebe: Now seriously, why the hell is everything ripping?
[+8] u/Negative_Dark_7008: Watch him announce ground troops.
[+7] u/OkRecommendation1040: Mr bol would you like fries with that too?
[+7] u/Equivalent-Net-1557: How long do you guys hold 0DTEs for
[+7] u/vik0096: So is Tehran gonna target US companies in T-2Hrs?
[+7] u/lamewoodworker: Will the market rally if 🥭’s speech is
“I’m tired boss, im resigning effective immediately.”
[+7] u/Neat-Concentrate-239: Algos on absolute crack
[+7] u/Sea-Refrigerator7919: Watch it crash to 645 right before market close
[+7] u/glrock: Someone’s Arab uncle has been calling Djt pretending to be Tehran again
[+7] u/NOKIABUMPS69: Theta day after all the volatility is the worst April fools joke possible
[+7] u/VOO_bull_forever: # SHORTED 200k [RHM.DE](http://RHM.DE) AT THE LITERAL BOTTOM. GETTING COMPLETELY OBLITERATED RN. FML
[+7] u/ai___________: Either the MMs are knowing something I don’t know or they are retarded
[+7] u/pleasestoptalkin: How them puts doing lmao. Witcha broke ass!
[+7] u/Numisko: so the safe havens only work when the markets are green, huh
[+7] u/Big-Quote4483: now that i sold MSFT i wish the worst on that pos. cant hurt me nomore ur fuckign trash
[+7] u/jonlmbs: Obvious fake pump before boots on the ground
[+7] u/bringkiteback: Are my puts gonna put or am I gonna keep edging for no reason
[+7] u/Harp-Note: Port hasn't been this green since last year. Ominous.
[+7] u/TacticalTackleBox: Strange patterns occurring around the 20 EMA is no basis for a system of Day Trading.
[+7] u/Razvanell95: Nuclear war on Easter, just like Jesus wanted 🤞
[+7] u/Actual_Disk9183: BREAKING: Iranian Supreme Leader has issued fatwa against Ber
[+7] u/giannisismyman: You're all on Reddit all day every day yet still you won't buy RDDT. When it's 500 in a few years I will laugh so hard.
[+7] u/broke_person: Get in here and send the 200k PUTS guy your condolences
https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/s/zSROyHGrEC
[+7] u/DaStampede: So calls and puts were the April Fools joke
[+7] u/Fine_Specialists: Beas better look away
[+7] u/Ok-Prior-9953: Think it’s puts all the way around ladies
This speech is gonna be brutal
[+7] u/bringkiteback: Breaking News I shidded
[+7] u/angrybubblez: Had calls. Would have made 1000 on them but sold up 200. Switched to puts cause I thought flash pump then dump. But I’m ready to bend over for the market to make me pay. This put position is my biggest sizing of the day
[+7] u/Loperenco: Bought 1DTE puts on the QQQ. If market rallies further, I will full port puts for 8th of April.
Eirher you win big or die a hero, nothing in between.
[+7] u/MRROSADOH: looks like those 10 boats finally fixed the oil prices
[+6] u/QuarkTheFerengi: shits so gay ima actually go do some work
[+6] u/swedishconfectco: THIS SHIT IS SO RIDICULUS
[+6] u/ScucciMane: Doesn’t the Artemis 2 launch today? That sounds way more interesting to watch to me
[+6] u/Daveonaltair4: This suit is black not.
[+6] u/Warm_Implement3088: Being logical has only ever hurt me financially lol
[+6] u/GoldenAries4: I’m still sitting in 100% cash. I almost feel FOMO, but at the same time I still don’t trust this move. It’s kind of crazy how we pump on unverified and likely false news now.
[+6] u/Relevant7040: Big red dildos incoming, my puts waiting wide open
[+6] u/kalakesri: Hey regards! We are going to the moon but you are getting drafted for discombobulation. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
[+6] u/ten7four: Conventional wisdom says buy the rumor, sell the news... and there's been a lot of rumor being bought these last two days
[+6] u/mechajlaw: I think half the pump is that this has just fucked up other markets even worse than ours. Money is leaving the Japanese market for example to a market with more stability.
[+6] u/ShillinTheVillain: Buying puts and praying for a nuclear war announcement tonight
[+6] u/Future_Chipmunk_7897: The 9pm ballroom update.
[+6] u/Majestic_Natural_361: Now you’re getting it
[+6] u/Same-Tie8083: Market is fake and gay
[+5] u/YamRepresentative663: MU just need 10% more so i can breakeven 🥹.
[+5] u/jda823: Gotta restock. Now we know what works
[+5] u/FelixMumuHex: bers retards bols retards all retards
[+5] u/KeyEmu7694: ah yes here's the Microslop we all know and love
[+5] u/parallelogramm3r: Somebody tell Hegseth to load puts and leak info about a ground invasion starting this weekend
[+5] u/7fingersDeep: Iran pulled the "oh you want to talk to my manager?" move with TACO and put some lackeys in front of TACOs negotiating team. TACO ain't negotiating with the regime- he's talking to the janitor.
[+5] u/nsfwnsfwnsfw33333: Hmm I'm thinking maybe the announcement at 9pm is the deadline the US gave to the Iran, maybe a bit before. Either ceasefire and open Hormuz, or we go full in. And then mangoman simply announces that.
[+5] u/saltylizard13: Why are premiums so low for calls and so high for puts right now
[+27] u/Gullible-Move69: Put a finger down if you lost money on puts today
[+26] u/Difficult_Resort5292: Well, that's my life savings blown. There will be no loss porn posted. Im deleting reddit and tapping out on everything.
[+19] u/2centsofhumor: $5 says tonights announcement could have been an email
[+17] u/MissMatriarch: Let’s be honest for a second here, bulls and bears:
This market is being held up solely by the sliver of hope that the fuckwit who must not be named will make the right decision for once in his 80 years of life.
[+15] u/bigchodeenergyy: 10k 0dte 655 puts. Wish me luck fam
[+14] u/Andthesuch: I'd like my money back, please 🥲
[+14] u/Normal_Tap3021: oil +$1, Spy +$1.5
it's joever
[+14] u/Zeppu: Save cash to open the biggest short of your life
[+14] u/auroraavm: What is this is just a big dead cat bounce? War is still war-ing.
[+14] u/coalmine543: officially murdered as a bear, lost all my march gains,...
[+14] u/brute-forced: The entire world is talking about one fucking retard every single day
[+14] u/Sengle473: Every puts is being bought. Huge ass news about to rug pull this for sure.
[+14] u/Actual-Echo-5910: USO going up, S&P going up. Math is not mathing.
[+14] u/Revolver_Lanky_Kong: Trading every day is like a cool roguelike game but instead of getting stronger and wealthier I just get fatter balder and more retarded
[+14] u/edapalooza: 🥭 really pumping up this market, which means he is delivering bad news tonight.
[+14] u/Split_Seconds: Tonight
\- he shits on NATO and other countries for not helping.
\- he will give one last ultimatum for them to help
\- they wont, so he will say they forced his hands for boots on the ground
\- blames EVERYTHING on Nato allies, says they are useless and will then try to leave once the invasion is over.
\- boots on a random night next week.
[+13] u/NativePlant870: Way too bullish in here
[+13] u/Pale-Silver-8178: options forever until i reach six figures any method else is too slow
[+13] u/StrangeInsanity: 🥭 (US): They asked for a ceasefire
Iran: No, they called for a ceasefire. We can keep this going.
🥭 (US): They want a ceasefire baaaad
Iran: No transit through strait of Hormuz
🥭 (US): we destroyed the military. They literally can’t shoot anything.
Iran: Destroys military aircraft on a base.
🥭 (US): Talks going well. Might be over soon
Iran: Our demands are war reparations.
🥭 (US): Sends 3000 soldiers. We’re gonna take Kharg island and destroy their supply. Why isn’t NATO helping!!!!?
NATO: We call bullshit of all of this. We didn’t ask for this and don’t want to participate.
Market meanwhile: Imma just keep pumping on any headline which I know is completely fake. ATH in couple weeks. S&P 700 & Dow 50 thou
Oil: Imma just keep going up.
[+13] u/lessoninprogress: I CANNOT get behind the right direction. Fucking insane. I buy puts, it pumps. I buy calls it dumps. I seriously would have better luck flipping a coin
[+13] u/VellyJanta: BREAKING: WH correspondent Dixon Yu states that countries that don’t join the war will have an additional 69% tariff
[+13] u/utterlyirrational: this market feels so fragile lol
[+13] u/soulles_lies: Sorry , Why are we pumping today ?
[+12] u/Ukrainmaker: This shit makes no fucking sense.
[+12] u/illrollwithyou1: Crazy how 36 hours completely changed the sentiment in here lol
[+12] u/GoZukkYourself: The low volume pumps are coming from inside the house 😱
[+12] u/Lapidated_Llama: Dumped 6% in three days just to pump 6% in two days lmao.
[+11] u/BikerNY: You are still stuck with your puts, yes you are!
[+11] u/whatislifebruh: Middle East data centers are officially targets as of 5 mins ago.
[+11] u/Relevant_Season4218: PLEASE FASTEN YOU SEAT BELTS AS WE BEGIN OUR DECENT. WE ARE EXPERIENCING SIGNIFICANT TURBULENCE AND IT WILL BE A HARSH LANDING. THANK YOU AND ENJOY YOUR FLIGHT ✈️✈️✈️
[+11] u/SarcasticTrumpet: This dude is going to either initiate a draft and/or fully pull out of NATO, and the rest of the MMs, and a certain group, are fully pumping this recovery right now to decimate puts before they rug pull again, it's all calculated and my 🐓 is fully wrapped in tin foil...questions?
[+11] u/Nova-JC: Spy and oil simultaneously pumping since 10:30 hm
[+11] u/NewlyOld31: No matter what I do I'm wrong all this week.
[+11] u/TaikoG: Iran could do the funniest thing ever
[+11] u/Jussttjustin: TRUMP EXPECTED TO REITERATE IN WEDNESDAY ADDRESS THE 2-3 WEEK TIMETABLE FOR ENDING OPERATIONS IN IRAN -WHITE HOUSE OFFICIAL
so literally nothing has changed as the market rips
[+11] u/Senpai_Slime: Gentlemen i am staring down the barrel of a 10k loss if im wrong this week, 30k more by end of next week, spicy times
[+10] u/OsamaBagHolding: More he said, pdf said...
https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/iran-says-trumps-statements-tehran-requesting-ceasefire-are-false-baseless-2026-04-01/
[+10] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: “Worst housing market in 40-50 years”
[+10] u/ksyoung17: We've topped. Time to get bottomed.
[+10] u/LiveInLayers: If trump doesn't sink the market tomorrow im actually fucked.
[+10] u/GrossFleshSack: Absolutely market is dumping overnight and premarket. Back to 640
[+10] u/ResearcherSad9357: Yeah, 2-3 weeks guys this time for sure, let's just all pretend he isn't a pathological liar and pile in yolo calls!
[+10] u/lendrickkvmvr: Sorry guys i was shorting s&P this is why the big pump but i am almost fully liquidated, be patient
[+10] u/Weak_Emu3659: "Got Truth Socialed out of my life savings"
[+10] u/utterlyirrational: healthy market. balancing on the whims of a dementia-addled con man
[+10] u/Key-Jaguar7630: I'm sorry bears retarded market got yall lol
[+9] u/Nagalavonpelt: The market can stay irrational longer then you can stay solvent
Oh brother the last two days have proved that 👆
Makes fucking no sense 😂
Straights closed and everything still pumping like nothings happened
Baghdad bobs pulled a fucking blinder on some of you 😂
Everything’s fine 😂
[+9] u/bdjdiJbxbxjs: Im holding cash rn im scared
[+9] u/Brilliant_Object_847: Another day of a 🥭 claim that a high ranking Iranian official denies an hour later.
[+9] u/Geoff_Dawmer: I think I might be addicted to cosmetic kidney surgery.
[+9] u/killcon84: “aliens are going to invade earth and a 50 football field wide comet will hit us after”
STONKS: UP
[+9] u/Madsen13140: Ngl iranian chicks are way too underrated
[+9] u/ihopethisworksfornow: Such a tough trading environment when the leader of our country is completely regarded, but also becomes personally upset when the stock market goes down.
[+9] u/pickledmagahead: Just bought puts. It feels so dirty
[+9] u/Fine-Translator4854: Did i go in on puts too early?
[+9] u/VellyJanta: Idk why yall put so much faith in 🥭 you should be asking Israel if they want a ceasefire
[+9] u/MarbledTheFoyer: I don't trust anyone who can't spell rally
[+8] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: Why would the Iranians literally ever trust a ceasefire with the group that’s broken the past two in a year LMAO
[+8] u/ajibtunes: The announcement : war will be wrapped up in a few weeks.
[+8] u/spudbro00: You know if Mango is giving a speech tonight with market open tomorrow it's something to pump it. If it was bad news he would give it Thursday after markets close since Friday is a holiday.
[+8] u/DoubleSkew: a nationwide announcement same day as april fools is crazy
[+8] u/weewoowewoooo: Market lives off bullshit lies more than the truth now lmfaoooo
[+8] u/Latter_Smoke_3767: Is this a fake pump?
[+8] u/Large-Photograph-286: Im only down 70% on my puts expiring on 17 , what the fuck is a stop-loss, might aswell let it ride amirite teehee
[+8] u/puffinnbluffin: Man fuck this fucking retard keeps shaking me out with his fucking shenanigans. Got me again 🤦♂️
[+8] u/mangofruitdude: I declare bankruptcy
[+8] u/DataRocio: Sold my puts for -80%, now you can dump
[+8] u/tgff333: If anyone's in Iran please look out the window and see if any tech companies are on fire. It's 12:30.
[+8] u/Normal_Tap3021: SPY dissociated from OIL for the week
[+8] u/HonestScar7176: So now spy and oil aren’t connected?????
[+8] u/e30jawn: 629 to 657 in 2 days. Bears dead.
[+8] u/Fine-Will: He's going to show up to the conference holding hands with Khamenei.
[+8] u/Madsen13140: Tonight's announcement : " FUCK YOUR PUTS" 🫵🤡
[+8] u/mike_from_here: Swear to god my fbi guy and citadel guy are watching me and inversing whatever the fuck I do. Nothing to do with my trading ability
[+8] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: Most fraudulent market I have ever witnessed. Just fraud pumping everything in sight.
[+8] u/Bilbo_Butthole: BERS SHOW LOSS PORN COWARDS
[+8] u/mehmilani: I predict SPY is gonna end the day between $600-700.
[+7] u/warm-regard: Bers could have bought the dip and been up bigly but they bought puts at the bottom instead LMAO
[+7] u/MaxVerstudpen: So it looks like just 1-2% green every day until we're back at ath? Meh, I'll take it.
[+7] u/Zepcleanerfan: Pump started 7:30 AM Monday morning.
Dump scheduled: Tomorrow midmorning/afternoon.
BET
[+7] u/PsychoSynthesizer: SNDK is up 22% in a day and 40 minutes. This market remains stark raving mad.
[+7] u/Metal-Water: Nothing better then when you sell your contracts for a gain and they immediately lose all value after you sell it
[+7] u/igotthis_man: This has to be a joke market
[+7] u/davidbigham: WSB buying the SPY 600 put saved the market. Thank you
[+7] u/ihopethisworksfornow: https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/s/eGjCS1baPr
> Predictions:
>1.) Next week there will be a horrendous dump on high volume that will take QQQ below 580 as it becomes clear that the energy crisis will persist and big boys make their move
>2.) At this point, the thread will be filled with people calling for the total collapse of the global economy forever and ever, and posting things like “QQQ 400p this thing is going to pre-covid levels”
>3.) Over the next 3 weeks, QQQ will continue to dip, finding support in the 560s, before violently dropping to 555.
>4.) Mango will pump the markets somehow. Violent Shrek cock rally to 578.
>5.) Slow bleed bear market for 1 year starting in September. Mango blames Europe, says this is happening because France is gay.
>Posted 19 days ago
Guys I might actually be some sort of prophet
[+7] u/KindlyTie6602: Are you stupid or something? A question I ask myself daily after checking my account.
[+7] u/Gnarly_Kefir_Farts: Whos ready for the Persian rug pull lol
[+7] u/dUjOUR88: Why are bears taking a victory lap when the market is clearly shooting to the moon and TACO is a natural law?
[+6] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: you will all pay for calling MU names like micro slop and micro peen
[+6] u/Upset_Pool2319: Everyone point and laugh at the bers 😂
[+6] u/NeezDuts91: Bought puts cause I hate money
[+6] u/jcrankin22: Can’t wait to watch the graphs during Trump’s address tn
[+6] u/Today-: The amount of cope and denial is staggering.
You can't just buy thousands in puts and cry when the market does it drop "like it's supposed to"
You know literally nothing, stop acting like you do.
[+6] u/orsomeshitidk: Long ago the four nations lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Bulls attacked.
[+6] u/TowerStreet1: What are odds that we hear at 9pm that we are withdrawing troops, war is over and wake up to see ground invasion?
The guy will just post that “ last night was April fools”
[+6] u/John-AtlasGames: Took my lumps and accepted painful losses on short futes positions. Way too much uncertainty about what's going to happen tonight. Declare victory and leave? or announce boots on the ground in an already ongoing operation. I'm holding my long oil futes because, well, oil prices are not going to come down soon in any scenario, I think.
[+6] u/Ok_Customer900: MSFT is forever pathetic
[+5] u/Obvious_Coconut_8432: I’m scared about the announcement later
[+5] u/Steelmax6: i dont know how i manage to buy 0dte calls at the top every single time
[+17] u/Jagged_Tide: Day trading is the only hobby where I can lose a thousand dollars, make a few hundred back and think I’m good enough at it to do it for a living
[+16] u/2AMTrader: Trump tonight: "we might leave, we might get a deal, we might put boots on the ground" "now look at these curtains"
[+15] u/Brief_Carpenter_7457: Something feels off here....
[+15] u/yellow_gatorade: 🥭 tonight: “I am officially ending the war in Iran, and beginning the SUPER war in Iran.”
[+15] u/dooosayn: Another day of fraudulent price action. 🫡
[+13] u/KingZorra: If the market doesn’t dump in the next hour … I’m gonna file a complaint with the manager
[+12] u/52isabeast: Trumps speech tonight will just be the greatest hits as per usual. He definitely won’t be announcing a ground invasion. That may happen this weekend, but he certainly wouldn’t announce it ahead of time.
[+12] u/Few_Egg3567: Bol standing on rug beating his chest
[+11] u/AmbassadorGloomy8915: Lack of April fools jokes in this thread is devastating
[+11] u/FearlessStatement144: So 658 puts were not the move today apparently
[+11] u/Threebridges2: Why does the market keep falling for it
[+11] u/Ninefingerzs: Anyone else feel like tonight is just gonna be a big old fat nothing burger with no side of fries
[+11] u/akunisg: I am a bull and I don't even trust this one
so I guess it's real
[+10] u/ConfederacyOfDunces_: The Speaker of Iran, Ghalibaf, is dropping some hard tweets:
“Out-of-context quotes + manufactured FOMO = War profiteering 101.
Do Your Own Research.”
lol. This fucking guy is dropping bombs about the market
[+10] u/Historical_Bother274: BREAKING : bears on the ground
[+10] u/MarcoPolooooo: The rug pull will be glorious.
(Copium)
[+10] u/Imaginary-Writer-125: What are the chances that 🥭 meeting later could had just been an email?
[+10] u/Imaginary-Writer-125: If it rugs this would be the cruelest April fools prank I ever had
[+10] u/kodaksdad2020: Just saw a smoking hot Latina
SPY 700 signal
[+10] u/bearhunter429: #Hey Ameripoor, chop chop go back to work. Israel needs your money. LMAO🤌
[+10] u/Funk-masta-frek: This rug gonna get pulled at some point….ut oh
[+9] u/Fine_Sock3874: https://preview.redd.it/71byn8cl0msg1.png?width=2164&format=png&auto=webp&s=141cc5aafa266159f323360fda69aa585ef29d53
[+9] u/ComplexConference737: Gonna be a lot a bag holders when big money rug pulls as quickly as they pumped.
[+9] u/ebfeebfe: ISRAELI BROADCASTER: US & ISRAEL HAVE PREPARED PLANS TO ESCALATE WAR IF NEGOTIATIONS FAIL
SPY +5%
[+9] u/Low_Plastic363: Basically we spent $200B+ of our children's money to create future $1T terrorism costs and hurt the lower classes and small businesses even more. What an accomplishment!
[+9] u/MarcoPolooooo: Can’t stop won’t stop…. Losing money
[+9] u/VaIentineX: nah im not holding over the weekend. full cash
[+9] u/Pikachumon25: This will tank after my puts expire worthless today
[+9] u/RareGuarantee3532: Ok what if.
This was just to get markets back up before the end of first quarter, and the plan is to use the 4 days of closed market to nuke the place / ground invasion + quick exit ?
Bleed retails on the first 2 weeks of April and then take random measures that will match with a +X% recovery ? Pretending JDon take the best measures for economy despite having to save the world from terrible terrible ayatollahs ?
[+9] u/hiphopanonomos: Bought more puts 2 weeks out 😍🌈🐻
[+9] u/Garbage-Disposal-938: Breaking: Trump says talks with Satan for return of his soul going well. "He really wants a deal."
[+9] u/PropheticMurmurs: SPY is suddenly moving like VIX is 13 and nothing is happening in the world...
[+9] u/Liability049-6319: My dad said he may return with milk in 2-3 weeks (it's been 35 years)
[+9] u/TechnologyEven6926: I’m down $15k on my SPX puts in 15 minutes
Do I close?
[+8] u/S-Club-Party: Reading about this new medical condition called Gayber Syndrome, and it sounds scary as hell. Symptoms include over-confidence, doomerism, and randomly saying “exit liquidity”. Most people diagnosed go bankrupt within weeks.
[+8] u/Valkorion335786: 0DTE's are considered leaps in this household
[+8] u/Just_Butterfly4052: Being half cash gang is simultaneously so good but also so bad. It's good because you're not even worried if shit crashes, you can just buy more on the cheap, but it's also bad because you get cucked out of stuff like the last 2 days
[+8] u/victoriasecretion: When I’m in calls, I never get this type of support
[+8] u/otimanob: Looks like the market doesn’t give a fuk anymore
[+8] u/Adome201: yall think anything will happen in the 45 seconds it takes to switch my clothes from the washer to the dryer?
[+8] u/FearlessStatement144: I mean wtf and come the fuck on already. There is absolutely no reason for this. Gotta be sell off last hour
[+8] u/SearchUsual5193: This is the last pump for his friends to escape
[+8] u/Jadeclone1: Did i fall for iran april fools threat :(
[+8] u/MagJack: How many ber watched it go down and back up the last few days without cashing in at all
[+8] u/dentwon: Now I am become exit liquidity. - J. Robert Poopenheimer
[+8] u/2AMTrader: Bulls will FOMO into anything, but so will bears
[+7] u/CompleteChemical4198: so major news networks are openly saying this announcement tonight is to announce the end of the war, and theyre refusing to cover the ongoing strikes against British and american oil refineries in the gulf, more than 3 hours ago?
[+7] u/Coogiez: mr stark. i dont feel so good
[+7] u/WendyDumpsterFire: How is the market still up 🤡🤡🤡
[+7] u/aniote: I know for a fact some of you are refreshing this thread 40 times a day because of a $25 fractional investment in Tesla stock or some shii
[+7] u/Inner-Cobbler-2432: I too think the incoming era of a fresh decade-long middle east troop deployment is bullish af.
[+7] u/RumShaker: I believe that half of you "ITS ABOUT TO DUMP" tards are selling puts. We are here to lose money together not steal from each other.
[+7] u/PvsNP_ZA: I don’t trust this pump one bit
[+7] u/Ok_Cry7572: The 2025 Roadmap:
🔴 10 Mar 2025 — Closed below the 200MA
🟡 24 Mar 2025 — Reclaimed the 200MA at 574
🟢 8 Apr 2025 — Made the ultimate bottom at 504
The 2026 Playbook — if history rhymes:
🔴 19 Mar 2026 — Closed below the 200MA at 660
🟡 2 Apr 2026 — Likely reclaims the 200MA
🟢 17 Apr 2026 — Potential bottom in the 590–600 zone
[+7] u/TechnologyEven6926: Absolutely blown up on a 50 cent increase in SPY
Absolutely insane
[+7] u/txnoodle: When will I learn to not buy puts on TSLA
[+7] u/BlackKnightsOptions: Can't believe we are still pumping 5% on SPY with "trust me bro"
[+7] u/aquaticsardonic: ⚠️You have reached a mandatory hydration checkpoint⚠️
⚠️Drink 12oz of water to continue⚠️
[+7] u/Chancey004: Do you bears even pay attention to history? Market goes down on initial war shock then rips up during war. Boots on the ground does NOT matter to the market.
[+6] u/anon_dih: Aerotyne international calls
[+6] u/jonroobs: had my finger on the trigger for puts at close yesterday and thought "actually this market makes no sense let me just wait and see" and phew
[+6] u/Iamhappilyconfused: A literal roller coaster
[+6] u/FuckElonMuskkk: Its april 1st but everything was already a joke
[+6] u/JuliusCaesar121: This war is like a wwe match where three guys ambush the undertaker but fail to knock him out before fatigue sets in. Then he looks up angry and gives them all the tombstone
Iran is a big fucking hoss of a country. We just spent one whole month fist fighting a mountain
If us/Israel are tapped out of missile defense Iranian ballistic missiles are going to start really fucking people up smh
[+5] u/vermilli21: Loading up some lottos for tomorrow.
[+5] u/sp2802: Is Wealthsimple down?
[+5] u/AndThisGuyPeedOnIt: My 30-day ban was revoked? Did the mods realize that politics affect the market now?
[+5] u/narwalfarts: Market wants to go up.
🥭: "Shit finna be over soon"
Market: yessssss. Feed my confirmation bias
Iran: "no it ain't"
Market: Naaaahhhhh bruv
[+5] u/IndependentUsual7444: Bet he says boots on the ground
[+15] u/pussinbuuts: TALKS GOING WELL +10%
TALKS NOT GOING WELL -0.5%
[+14] u/skymagic: 99% of this sub is trying to figure out whats happening rn 🤣
[+14] u/Jynx91: Is 620 too much to ask?
[+14] u/TemporaryMushroom850: Who's excited to watch the Artemis II launch?!
[+13] u/humunculus43: That fat cunt is going to rug pull you all
[+12] u/Weak-Equal-9084: Bulls, i dare u to buy calls lol
[+12] u/SZJX: \> ISRAELI BROADCASTING AUTHORITY: US-IRAN NEGOTIATIONS NOT PROGRESSING POSITIVELY
[+12] u/PimpCforlife: ohtani texted me, boots on ground. puts
[+12] u/Ahzmer: Yeah right. Now the market decides things are, after careful consideration, not so hot. Very non manipulated.
[+12] u/TrollerCoasterWoo: Even though the war has ended a few times now and we’ve achieved all goals, we need another 2-3 weeks before we announce that we need another 2-3 weeks
[+11] u/Only-Cranberry-4502: Chat wish me luck at this jp morgan and chase LEAD software engineer interview in 15 minutes
[+11] u/nyse25: You'll never be rich working a 9-5
[+11] u/AcademicStandard3701: 🥭 gonna pull out another cardboard, pointing where us is gonna strike Iran.
[+11] u/Unfair-Grab4991: I literally just bought calls
[+11] u/AutomaticAerie4672: 🥭 doing the exact same thing he did before surprise bombing Iran both times before: extending ultimatums and acting like he might back off. He's dumb and predictable.
[+10] u/EggersIsland: Everything is screaming calls, so it feels like tonight is the most massive dump
[+10] u/killerbeeswaxkill: Are you not entertained?
[+10] u/CardiologistEqual336: let me guess, war is, in fact, not over? 🤓
[+10] u/BigMisterLawyerDude: So lets see where we're at:
1. Partial government shut down;
2. Mass Lay Offs;
3. Google puts out magic new AI memory compression algo;
4. Straight of Hormuz is closed and only 4 ships have gone through in the past 24 hours;
5. 3rd carrier group has entered the Persian Gulf;
6. Iran is threatening to destroy U.S. tech facilities in the Middle East;
-> Stock Market Moons
[+9] u/hudson701: Pure hopium, vibey pump today. All on diesel fumes. Will there be EOD rug pull?
[+9] u/cannythecat: Everyone gonna sell before the announcement LMAO
[+9] u/atlu_manny12: ending the day red would make me a lot of monies
[+9] u/Ecclesiastes510: Ground invasion leaked
[+9] u/Own_Cat_9967: Can one of you Tylenol babies monitor the options activity before close, and see if an insider might tip his hand ahead of DJT speech tonight. Surely the guy that made bank right before the first strike, will double down…
[+9] u/Jag20022: Maybe im the april fool 🫠
[+9] u/AideApprehensive7441: This reminds me of the pumps before liberation day that flushed out a lot of puts buyers
[+8] u/kasualkactus: My buddy panic sold everything last week and is buying this pump.
[+8] u/saccotac: Israeli Broadcasting Authority: Negotiations between the US and Iran are not progressing positively.
Rugged by Israel
[+8] u/TripleChocolate123: \- Overall put volume is higher today despite being incredibly bullish
\- Overall OI is nearly twice as many puts as calls
\- Big buyers (banks/institutions) have been aggressively buying 1dte puts all day, and down big so far.
\- Max pain is at more than a 1% drop.
\- Technical charts show we're overextended
\- Geopolitically, Iran claims none of Trump's claims have any merit and that the Straight will NOT open
Take that as you will.
[+8] u/R3dFiveStandingBye: Okay I’m up $24 on the week, I think we topped out
[+8] u/Personal-Boss-7111: Way too many puts lined up prior to yesterday. This is simply to blow those off. Nothing about this price action is reasonable.
[+8] u/klippklar: Alright, any of you geniuses can explain why XLE got nuked the last two days?
Last time I checked, Hormuz is still shut and even if peace happened tomorrow, you’ve still got tolls, delays, and years before anything normalizes since oil & gas infrastructure is burned to the ground.
So what am I missing here? Is this just peak clown market behavior?
[+8] u/PROMlSED: Lmao it’s insane to have a 3% day followed by another 1%+ day
[+8] u/KarmaWhoreCam: Everybody knows the war isn’t over. Everyone knows this is market manipulation. Everyone’s just so bored and sick of red days they delude themselves into thinking that any tiny announcement or possible good news means it’s over and it leads to a massive rally. Then you get rug pulled again.
[+8] u/johndsmits: 🥭 setting up 9pm to blame NATO, Majority of troops shipped returned by end of month.
Sell the news, but I think some post dip XLE calls are in order.
[+8] u/nebgy: I OFFICIALLY CANNOT STAND MSFT
[+7] u/g____19: My SNDK calls went from $0.01 to $1.50 lol
[+7] u/Nice-Truck8806: if you think about it, begging for change at your local walmart is really an arbitrage strategy
[+7] u/burnerAccountDuh24: This shit got real boring real quick
[+7] u/hairysituati: I should be euthanized
[+7] u/burrowed_greentext: everyone who wins when I lose is lucky
everyone who loses when I win is a stupid POS who is blind to the obvious facts that I read properly
[+7] u/Sober_Alcoholic_: 🍊and his rich buddies need liquidity before he absolutely tanks the market with his unhinged speech later.
He’s even more pissed off than usual because the Supreme Court talks didn’t go his way.
No fucking way im buying right now.
[+6] u/Proton404x: Hey, is gas still high?
[+21] u/incaseofmisuse: Man this shit is too stressful. no wonder finance bros are all bald.
[+17] u/AKNJ907: Behold the sound a million retards lacing up their Velcro shoes
[+17] u/oldsguy65: If he sees his shadow, six more weeks of war. If not, early ceasefire.
[+17] u/confused_teabagger: >Iran: We are going to fuck up your tech companies
>Nasdaq: up 1%
wut?
[+15] u/Jadedtrader33: 🫵
https://preview.redd.it/1q4kuuhzkmsg1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a7b2d346f5205ef4318ffd63d1780ed597d4ff73
[+15] u/TheMallard1: BREAKING: Trump's 10 minute address expected to last 3 hours
[+14] u/MoMeanMugs: Stevie Wonder could see this bullshit coming...
[+14] u/PositiveToe2761: 800K Polymarket bet for troops on the ground, same account previously was correct betting on iren war
[+13] u/jraiv420: 🥭 Happy April fools Bols
[+13] u/Competitive-Water944: Lmao red by close. Gay by open
[+12] u/Ibpr0fin: BBC just announced that the Iran ceasefire talk yesterday was baseless.
[+12] u/OkAlternative7705: The moment I bought puts this shit is going up
[+11] u/Natarian86: HOW COULD THEY TRICK US LIKE THIS ON APRIL FOOLS
[+11] u/Devastaytah: My puts went from -50% to +100% LMFAO
[+11] u/Rootlevelprivileges: So glad I sold today’s Puts for a loss.
[+11] u/GreedyCommie: so Trump will announce boots on the ground tonight?
[+11] u/RealWooWhee: Bro Iran is funding their entire war costs through spy puts 🤣
[+10] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: Paperhanded my puts. That is unfortunate
[+10] u/Immediate_Type4095: Holy shit i was down 2 grand and now im up 500 schmeckels im out of here
[+10] u/ridina05: Made $170 today let’s fkn go 😈
[+10] u/gotcreme: You were given a chance to pull out. Don’t cry later
[+10] u/NotRobotNFL: We’ve met or exceeded all of our goals for the war….but we’ll continue to another 2-3 weeks because we’re overachievers
[+10] u/HistoricalComeBack: A speech on April 1st - suits Taco perfectly
[+10] u/PositiveToe2761: Lost 10K yesterday made 2K today. Made a flat bread pizza as a reward
[+10] u/2c-b_day: 🥭 to announce that the Easter bunny is in fact, real
[+9] u/breakyourteethnow: Why is market closed on Good Friday... Wish we could stop religion it's done more bad than good.
[+9] u/turtleadvocate: ive got truth social anxiety disorder
[+9] u/Soft-Run-1954: Told yall April fooooools
[+9] u/AgitatedJump8459: Lmao ground invasion actually leaked. Tmz reporting it rn
[+9] u/dalvz: He’s going to announce troops on the ground right? Why else would we be sending another carrier?
If that’s the announcement I wonder if market tanks or it’s priced in. Fuck this 🍊clown
[+9] u/Leading-Future6691: Ending red would be hilarious and would love to see it
[+8] u/NaturalFortune8397: was down $11,000 today because of the pump, now my puts are up $2,000
thank you mr market
[+8] u/gosb: I said that with the liberation day dip
[+8] u/zangor: Bears be like: nothing has changed, zoom out
…but don’t zoom out too far plz
[+8] u/Ibpr0fin: Air defences activated in Dubai
[+8] u/Fancy_Cattle_5914: I cant take it anymore with this bullshit man, just no sense in buying and holding anything. The second you see any sort of green, sell immediately, because it's going to fade it all and then some.
[+8] u/bespoketrancheop: About to drill into the centre of the earth I think
[+8] u/Scrogwiggle: I made $4 today. It’s the most I’ve made in the last two weeks. Down about $800 the same time frame 🤡
[+8] u/QuartersToPlay: Load up on 640-630 puts because this man is going to say "IRAN, BEING TOTALLY DECIMATED BTW, HAVE ENRICHED URANIUM WE NEED TO TAKE AWAY. WE ARE SENDING IN OUR BEAUTIFUL ARMY. A GREAT BIG POWERFUL ARMY. 1 OR 2 WEEKS AND WE WIN. WE WILL WIN BIG." And then we free fall.
[+8] u/YachtOrNothing: Oil and vix not buying the pump
[+8] u/thehacktivist1: REMEMBER HOW FOR THE LAST 4 WEEKS GHEY BERS TOOK EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO RUB IT IN YOUR FACE? AND NOW THEY'RE ALL IN THE COMMENTS SALTY AF BECAUSE THEY CAN'T TAKE IT WHEN ITS ON THEM! I REMEMBER!
[+7] u/Shenanigans_420: Every day is april fools these days
[+22] u/Joppop1: Just banked a cool $3 on a $4,000 option 😎
[+16] u/Manufactured_feces: If SPY jumps 5 percent tomorrow my 100 bucks worth of lotto calls are worth 20k
[+15] u/Retaining-Wall: **Finish him...** ***Thetality***
[+15] u/iAmGrimTV: Bols parroting these bearish headlines and somehow convincing themselves it's super bullish 😂 the delusions are palpable in here
[+14] u/Retaining-Wall: None of this shit would have happened if Reddit hadn't taken custom emojis away.
[+13] u/dunk4899: Same wallet that bet big on striking Iran just put a $800k bet on boots on the ground in Iran. Make of that what you will
[+13] u/aa73gc: I'm not doing anything until Kid Rock weighs into the situation
[+13] u/Fantastic_Welcome_61: The Pentagon is doubling its fleet of Air Force A-10 attack planes in the Middle East, aircraft that support advancing ground troops, the New York Times reported.
[+13] u/silverfutes: Iran says we should evacuate one kilometer from all big tech hubs.
Joke's on them, I got no clue how far a fkn kilometer is.
[+13] u/No_Relief_8705: I sold everything.
Not because I wanted money but because Robinhood made me sell my 0DTEs for $0.01.
[+12] u/NotMe357: "BREAKING: Pentagon reportedly doubling its fleet of Air Force A-10 attack planes in the Middle East, sending 18 additional aircraft."
[+12] u/gkdjsl: I miss the quiet dignity of Sleepy Joe clipping walls and looping dialog like a Bethesda game NPC
[+11] u/rkillaaa: wait a minute gey bers might be on to something
[+11] u/kazkeb: Not gonna be shocked if this thing closes at opening
[+11] u/amanj41: Watch the speech be completely unrelated to Iran
[+11] u/RJNavarrete: Sell everything green (or minimally red) right now.
Wait for ground invasion cliff drop.
Buy back over the next week or two.
Profit.
...
Anyone agree?
[+11] u/NotMe357: "BREAKING: Iran’s Masoud Pezeshkian issues an open letter to Americans:
•Iran says it has “no enmity” toward Americans or other nations
•Calls recent U.S. actions “aggression” risking long-term instability
•Frames Iran’s actions as “measured self-defense”
•Blames the U.S. for exiting the nuclear deal
•Warns confrontation is increasingly “costly and futile”
He closes: the choice between confrontation and engagement is real—and Iran has outlasted past aggressors"
[+11] u/Richerrrrrd: This is an obvious dead cat bounce within a larger dead cat bounce
[+11] u/FartPolluter: Absolutely hilarious USA is just gonna leave Hormuz closed.
[+11] u/AegonTheMeh: > Trump is expected to declare the Iran war is “winding down” in a primetime Oval Office address tonight, saying U.S. military objectives have been met. Trump is also set to shift responsibility for reopening the Strait of Hormuz onto European and regional allies. - POLITICO
https://www.politico.com/news/2026/04/01/trump-to-declare-iran-war-is-winding-down-and-others-need-to-resolve-hormuz-00854265
[+10] u/jonneh: Imagine TSA agents going without pay for a month watching a $4 billion rocket take off
[+10] u/Brent81: Its all gonna dump in about 10 minutes.
[+10] u/gkdjsl: "My fellow Americans, I am retarded and have done profoundly retarded things that impact America and the whole world. I am stepping down to dedicate my life to my true passion, decorating ballrooms."
[+10] u/Athien: At least in a real casino you get free drinks while losing money
[+9] u/cakestocks: Holy sheet this is actually a casino but we don’t get free rooms at the hotel
[+9] u/wave_action: Let me guess, the letter reads in a much more intelligent and coherent voice than we’ve become accustomed to.
[+9] u/Outrageous_Method432: Did Iran atack MSFT headquarters???
[+9] u/NotMe357: "BREAKING: Iran’s presiden will reportedly release an “important letter” to the American people in the coming hours."
[+9] u/paradox60660: 𝘽𝙍𝙀𝘼𝙆𝙄𝙉𝙂:
🥭to announce alliance with Russia, North Korea and China tonight. Blames ungrateful Nato nations.
[+9] u/killerk14: As much as I think the global economy is well on its way to a 10-year downturn, how the f do I buy puts on the day that we’re literally going to the moon?
[+8] u/No-Relationship8261: I wonder if Iran know they lost the war yet?
[+8] u/Happy-n-Healthy: Would he come on TV to tell us bad news? That don't seem like something he would do....
[+8] u/Waiting4Reccession: 25 min until the insider trades for tonights trump talk start hitting
[+7] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: “We believe there’s an off ramp that Iran can choose”
Concepts. Frameworks. Imaginings
[+7] u/universal-deceit: BREAKING: US Pentagon confirms… you’re retarted! Thank you for your attention to this matter!
[+7] u/Responsible-Rip8793: Honestly, even if he pulls us out, what about the Strait? 🤔 🧐 Does that situation just remained fucked?
[+7] u/Frosty_Promise8050: Bulz sweating what selling means.
[+7] u/Senior-Chapter8804: The press conference won’t be regarding the Iran war. It will be about the US withdrawing from NATO
[+6] u/Visible_Sir7057: "dollar is falling" just hold stocks then lol gey ber