▶ Full Post Text
[+39] u/Soffatjockis: Oil 11.3% up.
Spy green.
I don't even... this market is beyond broken. Every fundamental thing is broken beyond repair the market trades only on vibes completely detached from reality.
[+39] u/General-Giraffe9092: The market is green on a +11% oil day. This is MMs stealing from you
[+34] u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister: That was the biggest BULLSHIT I have ever seen in my 33 days of monitoring the situation
[+19] u/LasyKuuga: MMs manipulating SPY
Countries manipulating commodities
Goth girls manipulating me
# WHERE DOES IT STOP 😔
[+18] u/Hungry-Brain-3287: What a weird fucking week.
[+17] u/Haunting-Window-5125: Should be a weekend thread dumbass
[+16] u/el_ketchup: Today should be a case study on how to manipulate markets
[+15] u/peterpeer9: imagine wasteing your entire day watching a line move to the right
[+14] u/FabulousLanguage6216: This is the comment which you will see 100 times until Monday:
Black Monday is coming, bul fked
[+13] u/VincenteThomp: Bravo, market manipulators. You’re truly an unstoppable force.
[+13] u/The_BakedCrusader: Today actually could have just been an email
[+13] u/sloanemonroe: Today was the biggest bullshit day I have ever seen.
[+12] u/UnivalveX: holy shits it's still pumping. close the casino ffs
[+11] u/bearhunter429: #Ber were running their dirty mouths last night when futures were down -1.5% LMAO🤌
[+11] u/Ok-Art6659: Thanks god this shit is over.
[+11] u/Massive-Assistant387: LOL - What a fucking bunch of pussies the Dealers are. They couldn't get on the right side of the market, so they fucking pinned it. If you are a ber, you have them by the ballz.
[+10] u/Haunting-Window-5125: Never had hate in my heart before today but now I want to see every bull wiped off this planet
[+9] u/ThinCrusts: No moves tomorrow you dumb bot
[+9] u/TokiAsuma: Actually impressive how it didn’t dump. Guess everyone just don’t give af about the war anymore.
[+9] u/kwarknagel: At my age, a mouth is a mouth
[+9] u/DatsMaPurse_IDKU: Someone just made my yearly salary in the last 10 minutes of the market
[+9] u/Timmmmmmmmm: Ground troops incoming
[+9] u/GreyMatter22: Very weird day. USO up, indexes held really well, taking a crazy speech, and two big green days into consideration. Bounced off 50% of low of week and high of week on the indexes. Wish I kept all my longs but need to risk manage in this environment honestly
[+9] u/David905: 2 questions,
1) Why do bers think war automatically means bad market?
2) When the war has been going on for awhile, why do they think the market is supposed to react according to (1) now, after they've bought puts/shorted, rather than waaay back when the world became aware of this war?
[+9] u/aftherith: Monday likely up 2% if the simulation is as intent on fucking me as it seems.
[+9] u/NationalMedia8201: So can someone explain to me like I’m five years old how oil moving up 11% has zero effect
[+9] u/guhhhh_MU: Why hasnt Charlie Kirk said anything about the Druski skit?
[+8] u/SonofAngus: Is the market smoking str8 crack? Has the hopium gone straight to the dome? Oil absolutely surging and SPY is acting like nothing is happening?
[+8] u/Professional_Fly7427: America is #1.
In the 90’s, there was a single mother with 4 kids working as a manager at Wendy’s with poor Irish immigrant parents.
Now she is retired with two houses, and her son in his 30’s is on track to also work at Wendys due to terrible decision making.
SPY 680 for 4/6
[+8] u/guhhhh_MU: bers prolly doubled down, tripled down, and quadrupled down...... only to end the day with their contracts being worth $0
[+8] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Oh boy. This feels like a +/-3% weekend cause I sold everything
[+8] u/Bizonistic: Lost 10k today for being perma bers
[+8] u/jasperCrow: It’s a big club and you’re not in it.
[+8] u/Rock_Flaccid: Bears gonna be back on Monday rising from the grave like jesus
[+7] u/Haunting-Window-5125: If this shit dumps 30 mins after close I'll never buy options again
[+7] u/breakthebookie: I was up $1600 at 9:30 and thought no way this fake pump holds. Closed out and only made $350 smh
[+7] u/yyn1999: I have never Seen more regarded Market Action than today
[+7] u/callsonreddit: Absolutely nothing wrong with going 100% cash this weekend
[+7] u/TechnologyEven6926: Bruh I just lost 2k fat fingering an order at 3:58pm. What the fuck
[+6] u/xlmtothemoon: this timeline sucks anus
[+6] u/financiallythriving: BULLS? THRIVING
BEARS? LIQUIDATED
HOTEL? TRIVAGO
[+6] u/InitiativeGlum2507: Is the market seriously closed tomorrow? I died on a cross all week and nobody even flinched
[+6] u/AcademicStandard3701: Don’t worry bears we will get them next week 😈
[+6] u/jeffdidntkillhimslf: That was a completely normal and healthy day for the market
[+6] u/jayxmor: Year over year, nothing makes fucking sense LMAO
[+6] u/spudbro00: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+5] u/MushroomTIP: I hurt myself
Today
[+5] u/idontknow1967: Real moves come when normal people aren’t allowed to play anymore
[+5] u/No-Sympathy-686: Jesus died so I could be off work tomorrow.
Thanks big J.
[+5] u/Jagged_Tide: Regarded Reddit doesn’t know the market is closed tm
[+5] u/Bizonistic: How the hell do we end up green while oil pumped 10+%?
[+5] u/Blue_Moon_City: Both crude oil and spy green. Lol. What is this market?
[+5] u/Ok-Flatworm-3397: I got torched again today, I am at all time low, I am not feeling confident about my college application response tomorrow either
[+5] u/kazkeb: "International community seeks ways to pressure Iran to open up Strait of Hormuz"
Uh oh... the UN is about to write a very stern letter
[+5] u/Philthatman: So shit even post-mkt has no vol
[+5] u/skymagic: MMs are wild for *this one* 🤣
[+42] u/Yousoldmetohigh: First green thursday in MONTHS. And its on a day OIL jumps 11.23%
What. The. Fuck.
[+30] u/Icommandyou: > Hegseth was among those taken aback, says the person familiar with his thinking: “He was expecting the Iranians to fight back in some form. When they started attacking virtually the entire region, it sort of hit him like, ‘Whoa, we’re really in this now.’
lol we are being run by nut jobs
[+28] u/Flat-Focus7966: Bulls who are claiming that bears did not listen...
Be honest guys...none of you expected this in morning before open
[+25] u/Options_tarded: Oil up 12% and S&P ends green this is a clown market
[+21] u/Senior_Professional4: oil +11.73% spy +0.09%? Ok buddy
[+19] u/TheWizardOfFries: Bulls are loud but none of them have any clue why we pumped today either lmao
[+19] u/ThrowRA-KB: Blew up my account today. I’ll see you all Monday with another
[+18] u/WonUpH: Are we being played by the same dozen trillions going back and forth? Yes, but if you time them right you get to break even
[+18] u/sdubftw: I know there’s no crying in the casino, BUT WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MAN!?!?
[+16] u/Flat-Focus7966: My port went from negative $12,000 in morning to positive $1400 by close
Don't know how it happened but I will take it
[+16] u/Brief_Introduction78: 100% boots on da ground IMO and market gonna act all surprised like no one expected it and tank 6% for fuck all reason since today we had to go up or something.
[+16] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Sus… army chief of staff Randy George was probably screaming invading Kharg Island is a suicide mission. Well now he is gone as of NOW.
“U.S. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth has asked Army Chief of Staff Gen. Randy George to step down and take immediate retirement. The circumstances are unclear, CBS News reports.”
[+15] u/Immediate-Coast-5066: # Brent oil spot price for actual cargo soars to $141, highest level since 2008 financial crisis
[+14] u/ApathysLastKiss_: This market sucks diock
[+14] u/voidedhip: Holding 9.6k of puts over the weekend in my 401k 😭
[+14] u/MissMatriarch: I wish I was born in the medieval ages.
At this point I would rather deal with the Bubonic Plague than this market.
[+14] u/VariousScenes: Today was the equivalent of getting a 0 on the roulette wheel
[+14] u/ir1shman: Okay so pretty much the only thing that makes the market go down over a long period is the Fed raising interest rates lol everything else just results in a couple weeks down and then back up!
[+13] u/HonestScar7176: Today was the biggest crock of shit I’ve ever seen in the market. Just a huge buy and then nothing all day?????? Yeah sure.
[+13] u/FeelingPersimmon: It's being officially renamed the Asexual of Hormuz, because no one is getting in there
[+13] u/TraipseTraveller: Well that's just fkn great. What am I supposed to do at work tomorrow when the casino is closed?
[+13] u/NewNewark: Can someone explain why my puts didnt print today
[+13] u/Senior_Professional4: Tomorrow will be the most profitable day of my week
[+12] u/quuxquxbazbarfoo: Shorting oil might be a really good move right now, or it might be a really bad one.
This is financial advice.
[+12] u/whisperingeye99: Trump going to bomb Iran in Good Friday and Pete going to say Jesus told him to
[+12] u/hermeskino715: Open the fucking casino tomorrow. I need my 6k refund off MMs bullshit today
[+12] u/utterlyirrational: it closed green lmaooooooooooo no fucking way
[+12] u/moosewithamuffin: “We’re sending Bers back to the Stone Age”
[+11] u/borrokalaria: Flying to Vegas. I can't just sit around for three days and wait for this casino to reopen.
[+11] u/2020isgreat: \*HEGSETH ASKED ARMY CHIEF TO STEP DOWN: CBS
um
[+11] u/Bunz242321: I’m starting to think my life is the Truman show. No way in hell I buy, it drops eternally. Sell for a loss, erupts eternally. Da F***…. Even on days mofo tweets stocks drop if I’m in. But if I’m not in and a tweet comes they go off. What in the world… lol
[+11] u/rollinhating: I swear the media is regarded...
>Dow closes lower as Trump comments dampen traders’ hopes for U.S.-Iran war ending
Shit closed green/flat..
They dont even know what to say anymore.. Even the manipulators are impressed with how this shit market aint dead yet..
[+11] u/DefinitelyNotShazbot: Today is great proof of how stupid America is
[+11] u/ConstantAd1: >Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has asked Army Chief of Staff Gen. Randy George to step down and take immediate retirement, sources familiar with the decision told CBS News.
>One of the sources said Hegseth wants someone in the role who will implement President Trump and Hegseth's vision for the Army.
not a fan of the ground invasion maybe
[+11] u/MadHat0815: How can we know that today was rigged? Well, Tesla actually went down on bad numbers...
[+11] u/SomePolack: Funny enough today made me less confident in this market
Pulling out all my savings, let my 401k buy the dip
[+10] u/WrexyWrex: # World’s oldest tortoise caught in viral crypto death scam
#
# Fake X account posing as his vet sparked global false reports of Jonathan’s death while soliciting crypto donations
[+10] u/ResidentPack4103: Ay Yo....yall see oil today
[+10] u/bb483: an extra day to sit with my decisions 😶🌫️
[+10] u/Frozen_Shades: The Dow The Dow right now
Is over 46 thou
What do you mean I'm fired?
That is what we should be talking about
[+10] u/Infinite-Anybody204: Generals literally called this a holy war and yall dont think they’d invade the day Christ came back?🤣
[+10] u/7fingersDeep: Pete Hegseth is what you get when you put that one guy in charge who has spent his life saying “I may be at the bottom but if I was in charge…”
And then proceeds to fuck it all up.
[+10] u/TheMallard1: BREAKING: TRUMP TO HIDE EASTER EGGS IN IRAN
[+10] u/FinePerformance1046: Spy closing flat to be nonchalant and mysterious
[+10] u/Level10Retard: The market is closed tomorrow but my retarded ass will find a way to lose money in it.
[+9] u/NoodHigga69: Today was a waste of time and retarded.
[+9] u/FartPolluter: **JPMorgan Strategist Says US Stock Market is in For a 'Choppy, Bumpy Ride' in 2026** *whistles* That's why they get paid the big bucks guys. Insights of this quality.
[+9] u/WrexyWrex: do you guys understand the market is closed tomorrow?
[+9] u/2AMTrader: Lots of faith in trump here today...
[+9] u/YaLlegaHiperhumor: ...the market is closed tomorrow. Where are the mods???
[+9] u/TraipseTraveller: Bers fukd. Bols fukd. Theta wins
[+9] u/Quick1711: Pam Bondi sacrificed herself for SPY to hold at 655 all day. Did you even say thank you?
[+9] u/rollinhating: Isnt the market closed tomorrow..?
[+9] u/EnginrA: Can’t wait to get in on the SpaceX IPO, it’s a steal at a 1.25T valuation
[+9] u/AfraidAnalyst: Market priced in nothing happening this weekend.
Can’t go tits up
[+9] u/athens72: No way Iran opens the Strait to oil shipments. They are playing the long game, and the US is showing they are powerless to reopen it.
[+9] u/ImLemonized: Oil up almost 12% and SP500 ends green... I am done, this market is retarded.
[+9] u/Upset-Motor-2602: I can feel a ground invasion coming this Easter Weekend in my bones.
[+9] u/dash_trash4255: lol market so irrational the hotline got posted
[+8] u/the_mind_goblin1: How many bears are triple downing here lmao, i know some of you are
[+8] u/VariationConstant675: Everything goes up with inflation.....why not the market too???🤌🤌
[+8] u/boraboca: Bear trap placed perfectly by 🥭 last night
[+8] u/2AMTrader: Crude up 12% market flat....
[+8] u/SaintSnow: When the premarket dumps, go long -Ghalibaf
[+8] u/suovei: Sorry people, I just bought a put contract this morning. Thus it was bullish today.
[+8] u/Internal_Field5970: She’s a 10 but she doesn’t have daddy issues
[+8] u/Ok_Passage7069: How was your day my little investor :)
[+8] u/caliwillbemine: Fuck yeah war crimes are bullish as hell. Back to the Stone Age!
[+8] u/Total_Schedule591: No invasion this weekend
[+8] u/spellbadgrammargood: I looked at ARKK stock and I just realized it's still down 45% from 5 years ago... Oh Cathie..
[+8] u/Airhostnyc: The market is here to fuck you and take your money
[+8] u/RalphaDog: If you can’t beat em join em, I guess I’m bullish now
[+8] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: Ground invasion announcement tonight.
[+8] u/svpa3991: So glad I bought the dip on oil during Covid at -$37/barrel. Knew it would pay off eventually
[+8] u/x2manypips: Feels good to be cash gang
[+8] u/Thebaxxxx: How many times do you post and realize its in the previous day thread? Dont lie
[+8] u/smart_doge: Musk is just trying to dump his SpaceX bags on retail before the bubble pops right?
[+8] u/9tacos: Smells like slow roasted Ber asshole 😒
[+8] u/2AMTrader: hope the marines enjoy their easter lobster dinner...
[+8] u/SuperSix: bers and bols need to stop arguing
if ur not an insider you're an outsider, and that means ur a LOSER
[+8] u/NeedToMakeMoneyz: Average volume 101M today’s volume 60M
[+7] u/TrueDoge007: Got a feeling nothing will happen this weekend. Bush only just left.
[+7] u/2plus2_equals_5: Drilling for oil in my backyard
[+7] u/nesnayu: not a conspiracy therorist but that looked like text book manipulation. per definition
[+7] u/jdohyeah: The Tesla decline over the last four months warms my cold heart. May it continue
[+7] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Not even 65 million volume on spy today. I CALL BULLSHIT
[+7] u/NoodHigga69: Getting fucked by a hairy Italian would’ve been less gay than today
[+7] u/Marketdeigh: The midterms gonna solve it, right?
[+7] u/LadderAdmirable: If we don't get bad news over the weekend, don't be surprised to see this open at 670. If we do, we get 630. Sunday futures open is going to be legendary.
[+7] u/DisgrunltedDan: lol bers be like nope
Over $35M+ in single-leg puts were SOLD on $SPY in the final 15 minutes of the session.
[+7] u/ComfortableNo5231: Guys if you swing trade SPX/SPY or any index for that matter go read about the JP Morgan Option Collar and the current rebalance that happened yesterday.
[+7] u/lessoninprogress: I really wish I wasn’t logical and was a regarded bull today who full ported calls at 930
[+7] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/CamOper made a bet that SPY would go to 650.0 within **3 hours** when it was 654.847 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 0 wins and 6 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+7] u/ConstantAd1: Anyone have a Kharg Island livestream?
[+7] u/TraipseTraveller: Jesus would have wanted the markets open tomorrow
[+7] u/softboiledjadepotato: We really gonna hit oil 120 to a collective shrug. wild
[+7] u/NervousChemistry7401: Had puts this morning. Was losing on them on the drive to work. Sold and bought calls. Was winning once I got into work. Faded all the win by EOD. Good shit.
[+7] u/Thebaxxxx: 655 👽
> Called it
[+7] u/Mean_Bumblebee1945: I am down 20k on puts because I did not sell at todays US opening
[+6] u/GoogleKushforLunch: I think any bols who decided to hold are going to be extremely disappointed come Monday.
[+6] u/brute-forced: My grandfather overdosed on Viagra. Nobody took it harder than my grandma
[+6] u/cromwest: The easter Bunny died for our sins
[+6] u/H3avyMetalMan: "This makes no sense!!!"
Never did, stupid ass bers
[+6] u/WrexyWrex: Trump administration announces new tariffs on pharmaceuticals
[+6] u/abroadbroadband: I'm enshambled to meet you
# 😔🤝
[+6] u/Valkorion335786: Holding 670c and 700c.
All for April.
***I'm looking for something. Something I do not understand.***
[+6] u/quuxquxbazbarfoo: but I still have to work tomorrow?
[+6] u/BurgerKing_Fuccs: Bears sweatin like a fat bitch in the clurrrrb
[+6] u/WrexyWrex: the market is like if you asked AI what would be the most fucked up sadistic thing to put people through and it came up with something even worse than you expected
[+6] u/scm66: Are infinite banking people literally retarted?
[+6] u/mtnrnnr802: That’s it. I’m taking Kargistan Island myself 😤
[+6] u/Creative-Doctor3118: What’s Tehran street bets saying about this weekend?
[+6] u/Substantial_Park2115: Closed where we closed yesterday, boring
[+6] u/ChampagnePapi-: i can't believe i was wrong
[+6] u/fellow90: wait but tomorrow market closed ?
[+6] u/No-Improvement3164: Bull market resumes with high oil price and inflation. Run up to earnings now. 🤷♂️
[+6] u/jonneh: Maybe Jesus will return and save us from the retards 😭
[+6] u/Spezalt4: How do I monetize a messiah dying 2000 years ago?
[+6] u/x2manypips: Iran holds ALL the cards lol
[+6] u/dingusmingus2222: Yea I guess it is Good Friday. Good that this scam of a market is closed...
[+6] u/warm-regard: Bers learning the market can stay regardeder longer than they can stay solvent
[+6] u/Haunting_Ad_6021: Casino closed tomorrow 😞
[+6] u/Ancient_Let7878: Time to not look at anything until Monday
[+6] u/Mediocre_Pangolin572: I’m not a bear I just buy puts for the hell of it.
[+6] u/wallstreetsimps: What are your moves tomorrow?
Liquor.
[+6] u/cinciNattyLight: So the market is closed Friday, Good.
[+6] u/Excellent_Dare6280: why are we bullish when oil is rising lol?
[+6] u/NiceJobSon: Bulls will be relieved of their gains naturally.
[+6] u/HaveTwoBananas: Sellers were gone for the weekend
[+6] u/Level10Retard: Ok, whatever you say Mr. Market Expert.
[+6] u/MissMatriarch: Ahw, does someone need a nap?
[+5] u/throwawaydonaldinho: Siphoning gas from the neighbourhood cars only profitable trade right now.
[+5] u/chalupabatman2404: The reset button appears to be broken
[+5] u/2AMTrader: Yeah, what a weird day. wish had skipped this one.
[+5] u/MissMatriarch: We’re all waiting for the same thing, aren’t we?
[+5] u/PNW-PAC: How long til we hear about boots on the ground now that markets just closed?
[+5] u/Ok-Age-263: Hope you all positioned accordingly
https://preview.redd.it/o7rgbcbs2usg1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b4dfd41ba39c7be4bbea743a3a4a90f25c6426d0
[+5] u/pineapplekiwipen: lmao spaceX ipo $2T now this pig is gonna be so bloated
super bullish for space stocks in the lead up
[+5] u/GreatRegard: Loaded PUTS to the tits for Monday
[+5] u/apurimac777: ok, now i know the conspiracy bros are right and ThetaGang MMs really are out to fuck your wife and steal your kids and eat your dogs
[+5] u/emanresu711: Should have bought puts for Monday
[+5] u/Fast-Steak-7730: Was up 2.2k, ended flat. Lmao
[+5] u/TheOriginalBushToad: This morning; "bols thot"
This afternoon; "bers thot"
LMAO! Love this roller coaster...
[+5] u/Big_Instruction9922: Will someone with a brain please explain to me how oil closes at a high yet the market had a bullish tilt all day? Also, how do I get in on the insider trading stuff?
[+5] u/Happy_Fly_7691: Come on now Pam. Leak all the shit.
[+5] u/FeelingPersimmon: I live near a military base. There's less traffic around it than normal. Weird.
[+5] u/6hchill: 3 days of theta decay your monday options cooked 😂🍆
[+5] u/BullfrogLevel2087: My moves tomorrow are the same as 🥭 - i dont have a fckin clue 😂
[+5] u/astromouse2024: ‘Moves for tomorrow’ probably nothing to be quite honest
[+5] u/Reasonable-Cress8890: Thank you for all the puts that have expired worthless. In buffets name we pray 🙏 amen
[+5] u/Loose_Stool_12: Somehow today was absolutely astonishing -AND- incredibly boring at the same time. Whadda bust! Alrite folks, touch grass, enjoy the long weekend. See ya next week 🏌️
[+5] u/Top-Sir-1215: So here’s what I think happened - Iran saying they want to open the strait is bullish, stock market tried to pump, mm pinned it at 654 max pain. Now that market closed it’s slowly climbing
[+5] u/highlanderquestion90: You buy puts because you hope the market will go down
I buy puts to hedge my calls
We is not the same
[+5] u/Happy-Champion1661: Monday green if nothing happens this weekend
I wouldn't bet on taco acting rationally on a 3days weekend, but who knows
SPY700 eom
[+5] u/pineapplekiwipen: >Over the next month I will be working tirelessly to transition the office of Attorney General to the amazing Todd Blanche before moving to an important private sector role I am thrilled about,
NEW MAD MONEY HOST CONFIRMED
[+5] u/softboiledjadepotato: Market just a silly goose
[+5] u/AirportMaterial5917: why are there like 0 americans here
[+5] u/Most-Crazy2353: Bet they didn't teach you that in business school
[+5] u/MissMatriarch: USS Gerald R Ford carrier departs Croatia
The USS Gerald R Ford has departed Croatia after a five-day port visit, the US Navy says without specifying where the world’s largest aircraft carrier is headed next.
The carrier “remains poised for full mission tasking in support of national objectives in any area of operation”, according to the US Navy, which said the ship “completed scheduled repairs and received supplies to sustain operations”.
Source: Al Jazeera
Anyone with maritime knowledge who can give an estimate on how long it would take for this ship to arrive in the ME?
[+5] u/MadHat0815: Let me guess, he had some doubts about a ground Invasion...
[https://www.cbsnews.com/news/hegseth-ousts-army-chief-of-staff-gen-randy-george/](https://www.cbsnews.com/news/hegseth-ousts-army-chief-of-staff-gen-randy-george/)
[+5] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: I DECLARE THAT IM GOING TO HOLD MY USO PUTS
[+5] u/JernauG: I’m not sure what I’m more annoyed about becoming ber or that I’m fuk
[+5] u/BigGain_Shrek: this is a "what are your moves tomorrow" thread... the market is closed tomorrow ...just FYI
[+5] u/FartPolluter: US Government suggesting medicare and medicaid could be completely dumped probably biggest news of the last two days
[+5] u/Cold_Distribution273: Should've bought calls 10 dollars otm instead of puts, who would've guessed...
[+5] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/ozz3121 made a bet that SPY would go to 620.0 within **2 days** when it was 650.711 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 5 wins and 18 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+5] u/Top-Meaning2626: [we are joing the axis of evil](https://x.com/i/status/2039684779864375400)
[+5] u/ResidentPack4103: I'm so fucking bullish I just sold everything
[+5] u/Snowman33001: Rumors NVDA can’t keep up with demand for any of its products.
Source: I read it on the internet
[+5] u/Correct_Mastodon1112: This is Déjà vu.
During Covid bears were complaining why sticks were going up while there were so many deaths.
Now it’s oil instead of Covid deaths.
Calls!
[+5] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: The stock market went up to keep up with the coming inflation
[+5] u/Maximum-Side-9391: Just saw taco walking out of the BLS...Tomorrow job report will definitely be to upside
[+5] u/ConstantAd1: >US Navy: Aircraft carrier Ford prepares to rejoin operations in Iran.
👀
[+5] u/Frozen_Shades: She's a 10 but has them flapjack tiddys
[+5] u/jijitalk: She’s a 10 but has a penis.
[+5] u/JellyfishFestival: The financial markets took a hell of a 180 today, and now there are two camps seeing the same thing and calling BS on each other - the stock market on one side and the dollar, bonds, crypto, and Fed funds futures on the other.
[+32] u/OptionsRntMe: *slaps bubble*
You can fit like 6 more months in this bad boy
[+22] u/Weak_Emu3659: If anyone ever tries to get you to do options trading just for the love of god please don’t. I wish I never found out about this but it’s only my crutch cause it’s all my fault. Nobody knows, nobody can know as I’m at least grateful that at the minimum I don’t have any pending debts. It just hurts so bad in the deepest part of my soul I can’t explain it such a disgusting feeling I just don’t know what’s the next steps forward I feel like I’ve ruined my life. It genuinely feels like this will haunt me for the rest of my life and I want to puke
[+19] u/music_is_gud: Army Chief fired.
Definitely boots on the ground this weekend lol
[+16] u/ecoburner87: Look, retail is super short the market, and the only rule of the market is that retail is not allowed to make money in the casino. That is all
[+16] u/Actual_Difference617: It was nice foreshadowing when the named it Department of War from Department of Defence. US officially entering in its villain arc.
[+15] u/Fire-Lion6: December 2029: the last human has gone extinct 2 months ago. In fact, nuclear winter has wiped every living thing off the planet. All that's left is the computers and algorithms. Forever blinking traffic lights and managing waterways and sending out radio signals for no one to hear or appreciate.
One billboard in NYC is still running, prominently displaying the day's stock market. "New record high: S&P hits 10,000!", the autogenerated headline reads. "+0.2%" has been burned into the top corner of the screen, the number hasn't wavered in over two years. The market is now closed. The trading algorithms will get back to work tomorrow at 9:30am sharp.
[+15] u/Unh0lyCatf1sh: sometimes its really hard being an atheist, knowing there is no hell awaiting some of these motherfuckers
[+13] u/Gom_KBull: Is the strait still fucked? -> Yes.
Then everything else is noise.
[+13] u/All_FIREdUp: Looking forward to seeing Pam Bondi’s husband’s huge fucking tits 👁️🫦👁️
[+12] u/TreGet234: Children's tv shows/anime about friendship, high jinks and saving the world have done irrepairable damage to my developing kid brain. Real life is a bottomless hell beyond imagination in comparison.
[+12] u/music_is_gud: Listening to the Artemis crew gave me goosebumps. So articulate, so intelligent. What a breath of fresh air from the usual blabbering I hear on tv these days.
[+12] u/orsomeshitidk: Imagine you grinded like a mother fucker to make it to being a top brass general only to be asked to GTFO by a drunk tv host lmao
[+12] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: If it was really a Good Friday, the market would be open
[+12] u/ProfessionalStart461: Just woke up. Can someone tell me what I missed because I see TSLA missed targets, but they're deep red. That doesn't make sense.
[+11] u/TrickyDickCheney: Today does not inspire confidence that this shit isn’t straight rigged
[+11] u/barenthoffman: The market is broken. I don't trust it anymore. Gonna sit on the sidelines for a while.
[+11] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Only time I ever lost a shit load of money was being a ghey ber never again
[+11] u/broke_person: TODAY WAS GREEN???? HAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WE LOVE TO SEE IT
[+11] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: Totally normal to have what 4 top officials step down?
[+10] u/DCrebuilds: I think its funny how no one has any idea where the market will be on monday
[+10] u/IamyourfantasyX: Guy at my work thinks I am genius because I said mate this is casino market going up today.
Now he’s asking if I can teach him to analyze MM Greeks and “max pain”.
Lmao. He just doesn’t know I don’t know anything and neither does anyone else.
What a retard.
[+10] u/Distinct_Car7737: Chatgpt thinks I ask very interesting questions
[+10] u/somecleverphrase: I hope the fact the person appointed to oversee the U.S. Navy is billionaire art collector with no military background doesn't come back to haunt them these kids sitting on the boats.... But he was a top the board of donations.
[+10] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: Oil prices are skyrocketing, economies of the world are dropping off a cliff, and the stock market is continuing to run past the edge of a cliff like Wile E Coyote.
[+9] u/Cav829: For all the daily yapping about whose side won, I'd love to see the actual percentage of traders here that actually made money for March.
[+9] u/NativePlant870: Closing absolutely flat is diabolical work Mr. Market
[+9] u/i_simp_f: It's so hard to stay based in this world of cringe
[+9] u/Confident-Window4928: That speech last night reeks of war justification. All that’s missing is the false flag attack lul
[+9] u/Ok_Worldliness_2902: Oil and the market were green. Weird
[+8] u/oh_no_i_wont: "Pete Hegseth has asked Army Chief of Staff Gen. Randy George to step down and take immediate retirement."
I hope you bought oil son, I really hope you did.
[+8] u/csklmf: Need to work tomorrow + market closes tomorrow + not a Christian + dont eat eggs = bad Friday
[+8] u/Academic_Lock_1699: Holding onto options over this long weekend is top tier retarded 😄
[+8] u/wattap: Cash gang for the three day weekend? The market will punish your cowardice
[+7] u/Ill-Expression1737: im gonn jump off a building
[+7] u/OptionGamble: My puts got destroyed today. I need like a -1% day on Monday to break even.
[+7] u/Happy-Philosophy9211: Monday green because rigged
[+7] u/Urzuck: Ghalibaf was right once again, always inverse gay futes, even iranians know how much this market is manipulated lmao.
[+7] u/TraditionalPhone3992: let them manipulate all they want as long as I get it right
[+7] u/Moepenmoes: "Russia, China, and France are blocking an Arab-backed push at the UN Security Council to authorize military action against Iran to reopen the Strait of Hormuz" *- New York Times*
What an interesting trio
[+7] u/SmootherDoge: Oil rose 11% yesterday, Trump said no end in sight, markets went up 2%. Someone save me.
[+7] u/Issa_vibe74: This week was like those random games the Jets win
[+7] u/ArchegosCapitalCEO: Ok the neighbors think I’m selling dope
[+7] u/Fribben: My technical analysis: look at the 1-minute chart, squint until my eyes burn, and buy whenever the RSI looks like a silhouette of a middle finger
[+7] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: SPY and QQQ is really like the Dog meme where everywhere & its surroundings are on fire... but its saying Everything is fine lulz..
[+7] u/College_finals: "What Are Your Moves Tomorrow"
Typical WSB trader, forgetting that market don't open tomorrow
[+7] u/music_is_gud: Microsoft Outlook stopped working on Artemis.
Fucking Microsoft...
[+7] u/Shoganai_Hito: Was down $20K on Monday and finished up $4K today. Crazy thing is… just stocks not even option trading.
[+7] u/avdvetf: There needs to be a full scale invasion to stop this shit and open the strait. If a million troops are needed, so be it.
thank goodness i'm canadian tho
[+7] u/Ill-Expression1737: why did he have to miss?
[+7] u/Overall-Fold-9720: >Israel is a "good team player" and they will "do what I tell them".
LMAO
[+6] u/sunset117: I survived a margin call, again. 🥰 I live another week
[+6] u/WordsHappenedHere: The ass poundings continue for the Permabears.
“BuT LoOk At oIL!!!! RE! RE! RE! WHOrE MOOsE!!!🫎 “
[+6] u/Walking72: If you have to fire so many of your top people. Then maybe you're the one who needs to be fired.
[+6] u/Nice-Truck8806: what are your moves for tomorrow, a day when the market isnt even fukking open? ill move my fat fucking ass to the tv and drink corn liquor
[+6] u/LarsTarkas: Nukes go could off but if there is too many puts then spy will barely move.
[+6] u/orsomeshitidk: I would have slapped the titties off your sweet old granny for a real SPY dump today.
[+6] u/Glam34: what was up with the end of day spike?
[+6] u/ohgodthehorror95: What moves? The market is closed tomorrow
[+6] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Lmao I missed MB Ghalibaf’s tweet due to the face ripper today. This guy is hilarious.
https://x.com/mb_ghalibaf/status/2039735427448418389
[+6] u/KyleNoThumbs319: Who cares about Good Friday ?
[+6] u/doscervezas2017: Alright, how many of you forgot that the market is closed tomorrow for Good Friday? Feeling good holding into the weekend?
[+6] u/Shoganai_Hito: US wouldn’t sent troops on the ground during Easter holy weekend, right? RIGHT?
[+6] u/Retaining-Wall: ***HOW CAN SHE THETA‽***
[+6] u/cashflow_: HELLO IDIOTS. ITS ME CASHFLOW YOUR FAVORITE DEGENERATE
[+6] u/TippyTippyTippyTop: Have you tried jerking off to noem’s huband’s tits? Quite challenging!
[+6] u/Oneok-Field: No one gives a fuck about oil or Iran, move on.
[+6] u/arbitraryBlue: Why boots on the ground when we can have boobs in our mouths?
[+6] u/ChewbaccaIsBear: Long beekend = bigger bombs
[+6] u/Actual_Difference617: On what hopes market is going up? There are inflation fears, mass unemployment fears, rate hike might happen, bubble fears.
[+6] u/cripky: This special military excursion is kinda popping off ngl
[+6] u/Ill-Expression1737: i was given a warning by reddit 😬😬😬
[+6] u/pleasestoptalkin: Made the mistake of telling my girl how much I made squeezing you dumb bears this morning and now we have to go to Europe this summer 😔
[+6] u/Paul_Robert_: Lmfao, the Artemis II crew are having issues with Microsoft Outlook. Good ol' MicroSlop strikes again!
Puts on $MSFT? 👀
[+6] u/Liquidsnake959: How can the daily chart of every stock mirror each other? These are bots, right?
[+5] u/ChannelGullible7324: Here is a tip for new traders when it comes to events and news if you see shit in media that makes you say...oh yeah we going down for sure or we definitely mooning.....reverse it ...99% of the time you'll print 🤑🤑🤑
[+5] u/2QuarterDollar: Who wants to work for 🥭 there are some vacancies
[+5] u/TheSeeker331: I am once again asking why other oil stocks were down today when $USO was up so much? 🤔
[+5] u/Axonum: So why did we pump today?
[+5] u/BGMilan: It's a big club and I'm clearly not in it
[+5] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Thread is dead because bears were forced into hibernation
[+5] u/Active_Finish2316: Read this if you like dik
[+5] u/Amazing_Plankton744: Gonna nail it tomorrow guys
[+5] u/jakeisarake: Everyone in here saying boots on the ground this weekend, so ceasefire and opening the straight will happen
[+5] u/Arnab_Goswami_RTV: We are so back to bols r/pumping
[+5] u/Desmater: Surprising day to be honest.
[+5] u/StandardDot5115: stocks go up
stocks go down
cant explain that 🤷
[+5] u/music_is_gud: Now that the market is closed, it's time to take over Greenland! - 🥭, probably
[+5] u/Moepenmoes: The easter bunny is gonna destroy the market next week
[+5] u/Early-Elderberry-150: Bought USO calls at close, how retarded am I?
[+5] u/scoh-chan: whaddup, why not weekend thread?
[+5] u/Happy-Philosophy9211: Im up 3K USD as of close, 50K more to breakeven 🥰
[+5] u/vodkasniffer: 1979-2026 - it was a good run
[+5] u/Houston_swimmer: The dude whomst has crusader tats definitely won’t launch crusade 2.0 over Easter weekend
[+5] u/CasinoAnd69Manager: Looking to make a porno with Pam as the star in 'Midnight 🔨 Hammer with Two Chics in Sands of Persia '
[+5] u/BigOleLeaps: The most elaborate April fools prank in market history
[+5] u/Moepenmoes: Lmao I'm so depressed that I'm usually either on this sub or working just to not let it get to me
[+5] u/Detonate-Ralph: Oracle having its data centers attacked is bullish
[+5] u/Axonum: I think next week we will see a pullback
[+5] u/Crazy_Donkies: Fucking LUNR up a pile with $7 dollars and a bottle cap for annual revenue.
[+5] u/orsomeshitidk: If you’re grown and telling people your height to the half inch you need to give it up lol
[+5] u/AphexPin: Is it just me or was today one of the most ridiculous trading days in recent history? Prez basically confirmed indefinite war last night and it tanks then bounces off of nothingburger news that’s ultimately bearish? I can’t believe it recovered fully today.
[+5] u/I-N00b-hi: Bro I used to get so many matches on bumble/hinge but for last 3-4 months, it’s been dry. Is it sign of Great Depression?
[+5] u/FinishWarm1746: Why the fuck are we closed tomorrow holy shit
[+5] u/TrumpChildOnahole: Bears have never touched a woman's butthole LOL
[+5] u/God_RL: Moves tomorrow? The market is closed...
[+5] u/Ok-Analysis4121: It truly is so much easier to make money when we open deep red. Real shit. Legit I make 500% profits vs losing money when we open green
[+5] u/_Netgirth: Pretty sure Bondi got canned for laughing when 🥭 shit himself live
[+5] u/seeking-health: \- buy calls
\- buy puts
\- sell covered calls
securing my way for every possible scenario
[+5] u/DCrebuilds: Was wondering why people were saying Ber is dead but then remembered I only had Tesla puts lol
[+5] u/Special-Shirt-9728: SNDK and WDC going hard 💪🏼
[+5] u/geddyclaus: What’s good about a Friday when the markets closed?
[+5] u/ManyHead6662: Go on mango u can invade now
[+5] u/Fineous400: And nothing of value was lost (I hope no one was hurt anyway)
[+23] u/KingRegardothe2nd: Destroying civilian infrastructure in such a way is just sick and I don't care what anyone says. I guess the general was asked to retire immediately because he objected to things like this bridge bombing.
[+18] u/jetbridgejesus: hegs just fired army chief of staff. he prob wanted boots on ground and general told him he was cray
[+17] u/DatOneBull: Does anyone here actually believe the equity pump today was legitimate and that the bottom is in? I feel like it was just there to trap a few more retail traders before the crash.
[+15] u/Hikarimonogatari: Dawg Oracle got bombed by Iran and the stock went up. I’m in awe.
[+15] u/PinealTone: Saw this reddit post earlier:
And look who’s replacing him: Gen. Christopher LaNeve, who was formerly Hegseth’s military aide and previously commanded the 82nd Airborne Division.
The 82nd Airborne. The same unit that just deployed to the Middle East this week. You put a former 82nd Airborne commander in charge of the Army right as the 82nd is arriving in theater. That’s not a coincidence.
Yea.. we are going to put boots on the ground folks.
[+13] u/Warm_Implement3088: That General chose to retire. We are probably about to see some fucked up stuff in the next few days
[+13] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: Fuck you 👈 fuck you 👉
Fuck you 👆 fuck you 👇
And fuck you 🫵
[+12] u/Comfortable-Rule-491: Happy Easter everyone in advance. May yall have a lovely weekend
[+11] u/DesignerSea494: He thought it would be quick a quick war, didn’t even call it a war at first. Just hit them hard, and they’d give in. But it dragged on. Support never really showed up. His own people lost patience. And every move just made the other side dig in more. By the end, it felt like he knew he’d lost control but couldn’t admit it. Poor King George III…
[+11] u/aa73gc: The shift in tectonic plates means the Strait will close naturally in around 8 million years. Is your port strong enough?
[+10] u/Leading_Form_8485: I aint swinging shit no more. Getting my 10% and im out. Fuck this market and fuck you.
[+10] u/PompeiiSketches: WTI was 95 when we were free falling. It is now $112 and SPY rallies. Doesn't make much sense.
[+10] u/derprondo: > US Army chief of staff fired by Hegseth, sources say
They're going to do something fucked.
[+9] u/RagingBearBull: lifted pickup truck gang in shambles.
lol i hate those guys so much
[+9] u/Devoted_Wumbologist: Gonna bet my right nutsack this war is not over in 2 weeks
[+9] u/shmito17: Oh, so we’re in a bull market again after today? Lmao
[+9] u/bullrfuk: I'm gonna go to sleep now and wake up in 3 days LMAO
[+8] u/Leading_Form_8485: I hate you, I hate you, I don't even know you and I hate your guts.
I hope all the bad things in life happen to you and nobody else but you!
[+8] u/briballdo: What an absolute piece of shit country we live in man. We had so much potential too.
[+8] u/Pete26l96: I heard on the bus today that 🥭 fired bondi because she didn't want a threesome with princess reema O.o
people on the bus be crazy
[+8] u/looool_k_libtard: Pictures of Noem’s husbands giant fake cans are so fucking funny
[+7] u/FullTard2000: i’m going to say the n word before I go to bed tonight and there’s nothing you can do to stop me
[+7] u/diefy7321: It’s so easy to inverse WSB. As soon as bers started posting threads of their puts and memes last night, you just knew this bish was gonna get bought up at open lmfaoooo
[+7] u/WingedScapula420: Pam Bondi offended the Dow and was thrown into a volcano to appease the invisible hand of the market
[+7] u/OkLength37: Pam bondi was fired bc she allowed the Dow jones to go under 50k
[+7] u/Ok_GAINZ: Can't wait for all the "flat day" comments tomorrow. always fun and original.
[+7] u/ThermalChaser: Love how the market thinks an impending nuclear conflagration is bullish.
[+7] u/Fnanderss: Ok gas prices need to take a chill pill. Ive never payed that much to fill my tank before. Starting to consider taking the bus to college instead because holy fuck
[+7] u/claytondpark: Hey retarded mods, my moves tomorrow = nothing bc mkts closed for Jesus
[+7] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: If I ever get a top 1% commenter tag I give you legal permission to fucking shoot me a
[+7] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: 4Runner Full Tank
Last month: $39
Today: $72
very cool, very legal
[+7] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: Today seriously made me want to puke. Went from up 7k to down 1300. I thought I had balls of steel
[+7] u/octopus4488: My best trade this week was knowing that the Orangle Clown will yap oil into another 5% increase, even though that is literally the only thing he explicitly did not want to happen.
The guy is predictably moronic, god bless him.
[+6] u/LordOfWailords: Are we winning now Mr.🥭
[+6] u/NeighborhoodDry1821: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+6] u/gloomyglooom: Need some help, bought calls in anticipation of orange declaring we won the war last night... Obviously that did not pan out. How do I explain to my wife that 🥭 just sent our retirement plan back to the stone ages?
[+6] u/Pete26l96: man Bondi is one beautiful woman <3
[+6] u/ajibtunes: Guys please think about what you have to say before commenting here
[+6] u/ajibtunes: Just two more week. Trust me bro
[+6] u/wenxuan2: Since we pumping on oil going up, should we advocate for more war? I mean its good
[+5] u/Vort3x7689: Pentagon doubling fleet of a-10 warthog planes in the Middle East
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/01/us/politics/attack-planes-iran.html
Puts on the ground
[+5] u/squirtloaf: Same as today: Not looking at my stuff and pretending like the stock market doesn't exist until I hear about at least 2 days of green in a row or some other good news..
[+5] u/moazzam0: I thought more about this. Yes oil prices are self-defeating because they cause economic harm, but if they are kept high by design (Russia and Iran changing the distribution framework - similar to 1973 embargo), and the consumer is weaker this time, we should see further downside to equities.
[+5] u/DatOneBull: If I was 🥭 I would just send some special forces in and give them a bag of 10% uranium then have them pretend it was Iran's then leave and say mission accomplished lol. Problem solved
[+5] u/Illustrious_Pair2990: Asian Markets open in 2 hours
[+5] u/Dr_Vibe_Check: Gonna be a looong weekend after today, guess I gotta throw money away in a real casino
[+5] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: For anyone wondering why WTI is higher than Brent: The current forward month for WTI is May while for Brent it's June(May contracts expired)......which is why the WTI looks like it's higher than Brent
[+5] u/optionsmaster42069: We were insanely oversold, dead cat bounce until proven otherwise. Reclaiming the daily 200 on indexes woul make it more believable.
[+5] u/I_work_too_much: Moves for Tomorrow:
Drinking myself into a coma as Jesus would have wanted for me on the day of his crucifixion.
[+5] u/w00tsick: Nice, went from -30% to -20% on LEAPs this week, feeling great.
[+5] u/Red_V_Standing_By: Calls on A-10 Warthogs
[+5] u/gainsusmaximus: Bondi 50k top, Bondi fired = bottom?
[+5] u/sonofherby: I thought Noem's husband was the bottom?
[+5] u/GoZukkYourself: It's criminal that SPY was only up 3% this week.
[+5] u/Mr_Canada1867: Market open on Easter Monday?
[+5] u/orangeyougladiator: If you have an IRA or 401k you need to withdraw everything because otherwise you’re about to get completely fucked by this SpaceX ipo
[+5] u/Bright-Revolution496: Huh. Look at that. Green. After all that bearshit. Green.
[+5] u/Treverer: Over 95% of Japans oil comes from the Middle East. They are already in a shit economic situation and desperately need an open strait of hummus. They also hold a humongous amount of US bonds that would, even if it’s only a small part emitted at once, deal a considerable blow to US economy, especially in times of raising interest rates.
God help us all if the Iranians make a deal with the waifu weirdos
[+5] u/Rock_or_Rol: It’s not collusion, it’s 🖐️ 🌈 *algorithmic* 🌈 🤚
[+5] u/shinigami_2245: Bought a single call to fool the algos and mm’s 😈
[+5] u/I_Study_The_Patterns: Because she has those beautiful lips that wrap around his orange toad
[+26] u/Automatic-Mountain45: U.S. Army Chief of Staff Randy A. George retires effective immediately ::::: We are guaranteed TROOPS ON THE GROUND
If he retired right now, it only means that they approved the stupidest plan and he didn't want any part of that.
[+16] u/probably-ck: Jesus wants you to take a pause from gambling
[+14] u/Fit-Win-536: Today should have been a blood bath given what oil is doing. The universe conspired against my puts and defied reality.
[+13] u/CalRippedken: Started a new job about 3 weeks ago and they actually expect me to do things at work. Severely impacting my gambling addiction
[+13] u/BorrisZ: we are absolutely invading iran this weekend
[+12] u/AdCritical5383: Believe it not, >!your mom is nice person who deserves to hear some appreciation every now and then.!<
[+11] u/Cheeseheroplopcake: Two marine expeditionary units inbound, 82nd airborne as well. Commanding officer noped out.
Bullish.
📈🇺🇸🍺💃🎉🐎
[+11] u/strip_club_dj: Patel is next to be fired.
[+10] u/2centsofhumor: $1.5 trillion defense budget at the expense of healthcare lol
[+10] u/2centsofhumor: mf threatens sending iran to the stone age, ends up sending us there instead lol
[+10] u/Fit-Win-536: I got destroyed today bros. Feels so bad
[+10] u/perceptive_AI: How the fuck do people do this? Live to 80+ , I'm not even halfway and I'm done with life. Would love make me want to live because I have never experienced love.
[+9] u/AdjustDeezNutz: Is there a poly market whether Pam Bondi goes to jail?
[+9] u/Spy300: If you had to evacuate all your bases because of the iranian response, what the f*** makes you think you can launch a ground invasion.
[+9] u/Character_Set3454: All in puts, not answering any calls
[+9] u/i_goon_to_tomboys___: so boots on ground news will come late in the night, right?
[+9] u/Spy300: **BREAKING: REAL CPI HITS 7.3%**
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/HE717ArbMAIkM2X?format=jpg&name=900x900
(Uses real time energy prices with February data until March data is available)
[+9] u/superhappykid: I’ll be real if I had been a gambling person I would have been wiped today.
Even I can’t explain why the stock market would reverse green after trump prolonged war 2-3 weeks, oil up, going into 3 day weekend, we already had a 4-5% bounce on the indexes.
[+8] u/trumpdiego: So he's just firing everyone who disagrees with him this weekend? Most excellent.
[+8] u/savethechows: WW3 really is priced in huh
[+8] u/chikenbeer: Claude said I was a genius for my moves and now I’m broke
[+8] u/i_goon_to_tomboys___: some of you dont goon to tomboys and it shows
[+8] u/Oatmeal_Raisin_: At this point i dont even know what is bullish or bearish. For example, confirmed boots on the ground may not even do anything to this market
[+8] u/ModeForJoe: Solar doesn't work when the sun isn't shining,
Wind doesn't work when the wind isn't blowing,
but Oil doesn't work when the strait isn't hormuzing
[+8] u/J_da_CPA: Bondi got fired for not following orders guh
[+8] u/Spicyboi981: Never injected a drug but I gotta imagine it’s similar to TSLA lotto puts printing
[+8] u/Spy300: >Treasury Dept. thinks it's likely prices will remain above $100/barrel for some time, but the admin sees that number as “a baseline,” and isn’t ruling out the possibility of prices rising as high as $200/barrel.
Scotty's going to need 200+
[+7] u/GrandKnew: the average straight man of the 21st century has seen more penis than the most raging homosexual of the medieval era
[+7] u/AdjustDeezNutz: Bought some predictions that tulsi gabbard gets the boot for the lulz
[+7] u/zuziannka: Get ready to get rugged pull on Monday that’s the reason they didn’t let it dip today so guys load up and then they dump on you
[+7] u/PeeOnDusk: I have a good capital loss carry forward for 18 years
[+6] u/michaelis999: imagine defending that demented POS with your life and reputation only for him to fire your ass🤣
[+6] u/2centsofhumor: they're trying to squeeze in all the chaos they can before november frfr
[+6] u/Rosebunse: Well, everyone, I have discovered the most passive aggressive gift ever: a gift card for a great restaurant that is clear on the other side of town
[+6] u/J_da_CPA: Put Hegsbro in charge at the front lines
[+6] u/_pout_: Here's what happened. Mr. T said, "do this regarded thing."
General G: "No, that's regarded and too many Americans will die."
Bearish.
[+6] u/OhBenjaminFranklin: Last night there were so many put holders in here crowing about how much they would make today. Hopefully they sold at the open.
[+6] u/Zestyclose-Bit271: The market is closed for good Friday but Wendy’s isn’t. Just remember that
[+6] u/ervelee: Artemis 2 makes it rough on the flat earthers
[+6] u/NotMe357: Monday is gonna be a bloodbath.....
[+6] u/unanymous2288: *Dead cat bounce *. You truly believe snp going to make new all time highs while the last few job reports all been negative? We literally in the start of a recession so trummp can refinance the US debt.
[+6] u/soad1331: Can I still hang out here if I switched to shares only no options?
[+6] u/Bigamungus: In hindsight, thinking 🥭 is above moving billions of dollars of military assets just to call them all back to fuck with the market was a pretty massive hole in the overall bear thesis
[+6] u/Basic-Kale3169: Prediction: Stock markets will soar in the next 3 years. Current admin will cry victory, but it will be at the cost of very high inflation that will suffocate the American people.
Good luck guys, now I understand why all billionaires invested in gated communities and bonkers for the past 5 years.
[+6] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: So it wasn’t just the Army chief of staff ousted, admin also purged the four star TRADOC and the two star head of the Chaplain corps
[+6] u/haniyarae: Please don’t end it over this
[+6] u/Cheeseheroplopcake: Calls on friendly fire
[+6] u/stupidber: Jesus died for our calls
[+5] u/S-Club-Party: Coalition of 40 nations ignoring mango and planning to negotiate with/pressure Iran to open the strait
[+5] u/clubdirthill: spy futures will rise in three days
[+5] u/Ok_Percentage5920: I sold covered calls this week feeling like a genius and now I feel like a chud
[+5] u/Wall_St_Bussy: Lost my goddamn YTD gains today
[+5] u/zg44: SpaceX IPO is like a much larger version of the Rivian IPO all over again. Rivian went public after its valuation tripled in the months leading up to the IPO as everyone was FOMO-ing into the end of the EV rally.
SpaceX IPO is coming out at a similar tripling of the valuation it was 6 to 8 months ago (and 40x larger than Rivian's)...
First 4-5 days will likely be green on SpaceX as everyone has to chase it to accumulate, and then it gets cut in half over the next 6 months (probably hurting indices on the way down). Calls for a couple of days and then puts thereafter...
[+5] u/StonksInvesteur: bers all had been moonipulated
[+5] u/asetniop: Google's AI response when I asked it if the market is closed [tomorrow](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/1000001942-1775142742.1459.jpg).
Google's AI response when I asked it if the market is closed on [Good Friday](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/04/1000001945-1775142751.875.jpg).
But yeah, these things are gonna do a bang-up job replacing the Army's chief of staff and planning an occupation of Iran.
[+5] u/StonksInvesteur: RIP to those funds whom might use inverse correlation oil/stocks. They got fucked "bigly"
[+5] u/DrummerCompetitive20: It's about time every stopped believing Elons bullshit
[+5] u/Fit-Win-536: How do I turn $220 into 1.7million by next Friday?
[+5] u/sylphvanas: Are we putting cocks on the ground this weekend?
[+5] u/gh0st-33: This ain’t fun anymore
[+5] u/JohanLiebert92: AMD putssssssssssssss
[+5] u/naija123456: Still up 19k for the year. But lost about 9k these past 3 days. Thats my sign to hang it up for a while. I'll out trading for the next few months
[+5] u/Fine_Specialists: I made $1900 scalping today what a great day.
[+5] u/AggieDem: So the US Army Chief of Staff being sacked pretty much guarantees we're invading, right? That, the troop surge, and the A-10 count doubling makes me think it's about to pop off.
[+5] u/CityAffectionate5801: DAMMNNN TOO BAD THE MARKETS DYING
[+5] u/Affectionate_Cook455: The moment I bought puts, SPY jumped up.
https://x.com/adamscochran/status/2039715337327800570?s=46
[+5] u/wildcat1055: wen Pam Bondi joining the Shield of the Americas?
[+5] u/EntrepreneurOld7858: Look forward to all the bers crying about the rigged market all weekend :)
[+5] u/DressPrestigious7088: Everyone is celebrating green but my port is huge red because the one stock I have calls in is red and that’s Tesla 🤬🤬🤬
[+5] u/McClintockC: Ber retarded
Bol retarded
Ameritarded
Yes
[+5] u/Local_Serve_3969: Hegseth firing on all cylinders lmao
[+5] u/strip_club_dj: The two alien frat bros from aqua teen pull up.
[+5] u/RothTo0DTE: Not enough loss porn
[+18] u/Kachowxboxdad: I forgot to pay my trash bill (who cares) and they called me. They said they never call over a late bill but this is the most late payments they’ve ever had so they were calling everyone.
It’s the second. Payment due on the first. My trash company is freaking out.
So yeah I’m not thinking the economy is doing too well 😂
[+18] u/givemethestars000: By the time Artemis returns to Earth, the astronauts will find out we went back to the Stone Age.
...and they were the only human survivors
[+18] u/NynNyxNyx: Firing the US Army chief of staff in a war with Iran might be the strongest evidence yet we are in a Trueman show type scenario were the producers are letting the script go off the rails to see if we notice.
[+15] u/FeverTreeCloud: This is wild 😂
>A fetish cam girl who says she was paid $5K over the past 2 years to **dominate Kristi Noem's husband** while **he wore big false boobs** 👙 has told the media "There is no way in hell she didn't know
[+15] u/OkJaguar5220: How is crude oil and spy going up together at the same time?
[+15] u/FullCopy: Went to a gas station to fill up. It had a huge sign: **Go to Hormuz, and get your own damn oil. Also, grow a pair!**
[+13] u/absolutxtr: Oracle blown up in UAE. Bullish.
[+12] u/GreenGameboyColor: YOU. ARE. HANDSOME. 🫵
[+12] u/The_Alan_Greenspan: He fired that bondi cunt? This shit is hilarious.
[+10] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: this week left me genuinely wondering about whether people are making judgments on whether developments are bad or good or if algos are picking the initial direction and people are then constructing an explanation for it
[+10] u/bzl33: > BLUE OWL CREDIT INCOME FUND RECEIVED WITHDRAWAL REQUESTS ESTIMATED AT 21.9% OF THE FUND SHARES IN Q1
> BLUE OWL OTIC FUND RECEIVED WITHDRAWAL REQUESTS ESTIMATED AT 40.7% OF THE FUND SHARES IN Q1
[+9] u/qx2: Did Bondi get fired for calling the DOW top of 50k? Inquiring minds want to know. 🤣🤣🍺🍺
[+8] u/MacroHard_0: At this point I think the market will be up 1% tomorrow despite it being closed
[+8] u/Colloquial: Well I'm about to be banned so fk all u bols for this gay ass shit
[+8] u/SpyBagholder: We actually are fucked. This oil shit is going to nuke the markets.
[+8] u/SnooRegrets6428: Jensen Huang wants Iran to bomb more data centers
[+7] u/skarfbeaulonee: Attention all smart space aliens: if you see this please come to my home and abduct me. But only if you're smart, the last thing I want is to be abducted by retarded space aliens.
[+7] u/DanqueLeChay: Reuters: 🥭will unveil a $1,500,000,000,000 defense budget request for the next fiscal year
[+7] u/Briack89: Please Jesus let my calls resurrect on Monday 🙌🙏
[+7] u/hollywoodrew: Oil up, bridges bombed, new tariffs? And the market held? We hitting ATH next week boyz
[+7] u/toost1cky: After 5 years im almost back to even on PFE 🚀
[+7] u/Killersax: OIL RIPS APPARENTLY MEANS MARKET RIPS. WHO IS RUNNING THIS CLOWN SHOW
[+7] u/RjBloxks: You ever have the edible kick in while you’re sitting looking at $100k you made in a week? Peak life experience
[+7] u/Antique_Cabinet8416: Rep. Jeff Van Drew (R-N.J.) on Americans struggling with rising prices: "Maybe get yet another job"
guess I'll start trading futes too
[+7] u/Embarrassed-Jump-212: Probably drink at the airport bar then have to pee five minutes after your flight takes off while the flight attendant stares you down while the seatbelt light is on.
[+6] u/Practical_Corner8839: Is Bondi fired because the Dow is below 50000?
[+6] u/IHaveInflatableShoes: My stonk is stucc I only have stucc stonk
[+6] u/Napster-mp3: E form Major Dominant 7th barre chord is tuff
[+6] u/cannythecat: Market closed, futures closed. Invasion imminent
[+6] u/TFTisbetterthanLoL: Can’t wait to see a truth social post saying 100,000 troops have stormed iran now that the markets are closed
[+6] u/llasar17: we cant have a hobby?
[+6] u/TheMostAverageDude: Imagine being this guys wife and getting flowers every week instead of climaxing
[+5] u/TrapHouse9999: Becaus 99% of wallstreetbets and Reddit is bearish. Inverse it baby
[+5] u/salacious_lion: They are literally bombing Oracle and the stock went up
[+5] u/Antique_Cabinet8416: bulls were dropped on head as baby
[+5] u/Competitive-Water944: I’m hella confused by what’s going on with Kristi Noems husband. Lmao
[+5] u/Even-Square-6246: I hate anyone here that actually makes money like how
[+5] u/Illustrious_Job1951: I don't even trade options I just like the humor here
[+5] u/NeuroManXy: Bers anuses are getting bigger and bugger day bybday
[+5] u/Independent-Tree-985: I want you to know that you didnt fail the market ❌
The market failed you ✔️
[+5] u/OptionsHuduga: Imagine heading into the long weekend after u and your puts got obliterated lol. Get fccked berz. Happy Easter bol gyang.
[+5] u/NewlyOld31: Damn, oracle got hit in UAE? That's wild. These irgc folks seem to be "wit the shits'
[+5] u/natalie_merchant_fan: Finally going into a weekend without big positions that will haunt me
[+5] u/Beagle001: It was fun before when I watched oil going up so my various little oil stocks would follow the next day. Not anymore....
I did win 1 dollar on my bet that Bondi would get canned though on the Poly so I can get some hard candy this weekend.
[+5] u/whitepug: What if they were pumping the indices to give scotty liquidity to short oil 😭
[+5] u/syedhuda: buls are the only thing i hate in this universe
[+5] u/bringkiteback: I’m highly specialized in braiding butt pubes with my teeth
[+5] u/MadSkyGlider: The market open tmrw wasn’t it closed wtf
[+5] u/GuyFaulks77: Markets are closed yet I still have to work? Doesn’t make sense
[+5] u/Hairy-Literature8672: "Ber misunderstand nature of stock, for as rock fall from cliff, so must stock, he say. But stock have wing. Stock bird, not rock." -Confucius
[+5] u/swampassOG: OPEN THE WEEKEND THREAD
[+5] u/xReMaKe: Can you believe that msft was up 1% today? I wonder to what god were msft bag holders praying to? Just 20% more to go…… 😭😭
[+5] u/MakeResonableChoices: Ok sharks this is my pitch, a tax service you have to bring your spouse to that downplays your capital losses or highly praises your gains.
[+5] u/ThetaGrim: Casino closed until Monday 😔
[+5] u/WingWorried6176: Lower high on spy bers eating next week
[+5] u/SapientApe_: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+5] u/Brodieischeese: I no joke have my whole port in 150 orcl puts that are far out, I hear oracle got bombed by Iran and think this is my lucky day, less data center room to rent out =less income, Which means the already volatile stock should plummet right?
I then think if Iran clearly isn’t looking to stop and is coming after American companies then the market should fall right????
WRONG
It’s either you bulls are all sharing one braincell and rented it out to buy more calls or the manipulation is bigger than any of us can imagine and they can just tell the exchanges to post made up prices that aren’t caused by supply and demand.
Either way fuck my chud life bro.
[+5] u/frakenspine: OJ was supposed to announce ground OP. Army head refused, how pete is forcing him to retire
[+19] u/CursedClownz: BREAKING NEWS :
MELANIA WILL BE "ESCORTING" THE SHIPS IN HORMUZ
[+16] u/hiphopanonomos: If you told me last year USO would go up 11% in one day and SPY would end green I would have got out of the market then
[+11] u/Noble_Bastard: This shit should be illegal. 3 days without the market.
It's been 5 hours and I'm already starting to twitch.
[+11] u/Capable_Desk3544: i dont agree with this war
[+10] u/Throwdest: Hire oil prices will not stop me from ordering Dominos every week.
I am an alcoholic. I create lofty meal plans and meal preps and have been lauded over and over for being an exceptional cook. But I get drunk and become too lazy or embittered to cook, and one of my go-tos is always Dominos. They are CONSISTENT, they are AFFORDABLE, and they are GOOD ENOUGH. All I ask for.
And I just wanna say, I know oil is going up, so EVERYTHING is going up, and everything is going up BIGLY. In spite of these increased costs, **I WILL NOT STOP DRINKING AND ORDERING DOMINOS**. So long as I still have to live this cursed life, YOU ARE GETTING PAID, LIKE IT OR NOT! When I drink, I *gotta* eat. I love getting a thin and getting freaky with the toppings, even going so far as to venture out beyond red or white sauce (do you know what else is white sauce? CUM!). Otherwise I get a new york there will *always* be onions on it. I'm getting high and drunk rightr now and I'm going to order a fuck ton of dominos. Spinach feta cheesy bread no doubt. God I'm hungry.
[+10] u/niceguy897: A 3-day weekend is great timing for a ground operation, followed by addressing the nation.
Hegseth firing chief of staff Gen. Randy George, who probably seemed hesitant to execute a ground operation can be another signal. Acting chief of staff Gen. Christopher LaNeve was previously Hegseth's Senior Military Assistant, and he commanded 82nd Airborne Division which is expected to extract the enriched uranium. He is the guy to execute administration's orders without any question. Pentagon always executes commander in chief's orders, but not warning against a bad idea is something else.
What's troubling for markets is that firing a top general who probably advised against a ground operation. A ground operation can turn into a nightmare if things go wrong and troops get stuck. Let's hope that does not happen. Because if it does, Iran will go into full survival mode and mine the strait, attack gulf infrastructures and what markets price as a quick end to war will turn into a months, maybe years long oil supply crisis.
[+10] u/redditmodsRrussians: Economy is about to be fucked by diesel
[+10] u/PulIthEld: Trump is that black thing in the 5th Element that just gets stronger the more you hate it.
[+10] u/NOMADGRUBS: No matter how much you shake and dance, the last drip always goes down your pants! 💧
[+10] u/Worried_Quarter469: Basically WSB in space
[+9] u/Pure-Marketing-4236: “Cautiously optimistic”
-morons
[+8] u/DefiantDelta: it’s actually disgusting that they’re gonna shove a spacex dildo into every retirement account in america without hesitation
[+8] u/bluen: It's quite possible we see another large draw down
[+8] u/RockasaurusRex: Probably more real than hers.
[+7] u/enlightenedfarmboy: Today is Maundy Thursday, the day that Judas betrayed Jesus to the jays in return for 30 pieces of silver.... make whatever analogies you feel are appropriate for the current geopolitical situation
[+7] u/Worried_Quarter469: In addition to dismissing the Army chief of staff, Gen. Randy George, Hegseth fired two other Army generals today, according to three U.S. officials familiar with the action.
[+7] u/Phandomtrigger: I forgot stocks closed trmw, now I’m sad
[+7] u/BroFro: wow we really do have tel aviv at home
[+7] u/ManBearPig_1983: Corruption will do that
[+6] u/3ebfan: DOD says they’re in Iran to bring about the end times and I believe them that they think that.
I’m buying bonds.
Taco’ing to save the markets doesn’t seem to be working anymore.
[+6] u/SquidKid47: Sold everything this afternoon and made a solid chunk. The FOMO is so painful because I feel like Monday is gonna be a massive move but I genuinely could not tell you which way
[+6] u/dangernext: I bought puts because if you still trust Mango during a long weekend I don’t trust you.
[+6] u/jfwelll: Orange man yelling at clouds, and throwing everyone under the bus one after another. Who wouldve expected that.
[+6] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: if my fidelity account had sound: [https://www.reddit.com/r/aviation/comments/1saz6cq/an\_sas\_airbus\_a320\_lands\_with\_the\_retard\_call/](https://www.reddit.com/r/aviation/comments/1saz6cq/an_sas_airbus_a320_lands_with_the_retard_call/)
[+6] u/Solid-Season9984: https://preview.redd.it/4ln4foxuovsg1.jpeg?width=1638&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cebd02a95236b03dec9e3c9cd1b732a9dadd4862
Chilling at the Ft Lauderdale condo tonight, life is good!
[+6] u/darth_lack_of_joke: Sir, this is a Wendy's
[+6] u/JSlickJ: they picked a good time to leave earth
[+5] u/ChungWuEggwua: $6 is a ripoff, $5.99 is a bargain
[+5] u/1bizzyone: Yeowww regards, I learned a new word: kakistocracy...rule of government by the worst, least qualified, or most inept...Bondi out, there's light at the end of the tunnel and why we rallied EOD
[+5] u/MusingsAndMind: Just sold my investments at a loss but buying back in when the price is higher.
[+5] u/macak333: Rome was built in a day as far as I can remember, so I will 100% put all my eggs in one basket
[+5] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: Pizza meter goin crazy
[+5] u/kellyk311: His parents doomed him to a confused life when the spelled Bryon like that. ( ' ) ( , )
[+5] u/enlightenedfarmboy: You guys ever ask chat gpt what time it is? Fucker doesn't even have the ability to tell time.
[+5] u/Sharp-Direction-6894: It's 3 dudes and 1 good looking woman up there in the Artemis spacecraft right now. In space. All alone. For a long time. Nice.
[+5] u/ChungWuEggwua: I am so ga… right now
[+5] u/Spiritual_Taste_1253: I’ll enter the market again on Monday, I don’t have it in me to worry about what happens AH this weekend
[+5] u/TheMatinow: what are the odds on boots on the ground this weekend?
[+5] u/Hot_Avocado_2701: Sold most of my positions today and ready for the dip, with my luck that probably means we won’t be getting a dip
[+5] u/Zimoula: We have one more crash before pump rest of the year
[+14] u/Waythrowing04: Just got a US army ad
ya we’re fucked time for puts
[+12] u/SuffiecientSapian: When he passes I’m throwing the biggest cookout in history
[+9] u/ProudestPeasant: this market is cooked
every mainstream \*western\* news headline I read about iran is not good and yet the market somehow soared.
[+9] u/dopeadult: just caught my girlfriend whispering to herself like a demon
[+9] u/GuyFieriFrostedTips: Imagine saying the Boss puts on a shitty concert.
[+9] u/BoostMobileGuy: Blonde bitch got fired before GTA6
[+8] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Breaking news: Iran just hit Oracle
Laid off tech workers: "Good work Iran. Keep it going 🫡"
[+8] u/jernotbroke: i have missed out on hundreds of thousands of dollars by paper-handing my calls. now i cant afford a transmission (lost all my money.) life is a funny thing
[+8] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Apparently 🥭 thinks bridges did not exist in the stone age
[+8] u/Money-Size-8877: bro just bombed Iran’s longest bridge & threatened more destruction if no deal reached…that’s some terrorist type shit
[+8] u/LunchNo7823: President Trump fucked little kiddies but the market was bullish
[+7] u/trothechemist: bulls are gonna be sitting on a big hard red candle monday
[+7] u/DropTop545: Cryptocurrency is for cunts
[+7] u/carrollart: It’s time for a leadership change in USA. We wish all of congress and mister president and everyone else involved a happy retirement
[+7] u/FGoobs: I think a large portion why the market is hanging on is because we have 25% of the population that are sycophants and think nothing is wrong
[+7] u/Ancient-Swordfish292: I swear software is getting worse. More annoying, less functional, more shit popping up in your face. Takes more clicks to do any fucking thing.
[+6] u/AGener0usGod: The day GTA6 goes live is the day this thread dies ..
[+6] u/ihopethisworksfornow: I fucked Paul Hegseth’s wife
[+6] u/OsamaBagHolding: Breaking: Greenland invades Taiwan
[+6] u/WarmCan3034: can't believe u/cashflow_ told u/modder9 to wear a diaper to his procedure and now they have to bury him in a diaper... RIP
[+6] u/DeezSpicyNuts: Where all the pale women at? 👀
[+6] u/pyrogoldguy: You guys know the stock market is closed on friday right?
[+6] u/OsamaBagHolding: Thats enough big screen time after staring at medium screen all day. Now off to little screen in bed before night night to prepare for medium screen again
[+6] u/ShadyWolf: Been thinking a lot recently about that guy who accidentally bought actual barrels of oil instead of futures a few years back
[+6] u/Kashabowiekid: lol non farm payroll going to show -250k jobs for March and now 🥭 is escalating again. Troops on the ground this weekend likely. Spy sub 600 by next Tuesday lol
[+6] u/Nice-Difference8641: I don’t understand the difference between a future and a call and I’m too afraid to ask
[+6] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: Put premiums are almost not worth it unless it crashes. Then what
[+6] u/AgnosticAbe: Question - you know it’s bad when I’m asking wsb
Why is my margin debt “only” charged 5%? When I tried buying a house it was 7%. Credit card is 25%, car loan is 9%. I try and avoid using margin but I bought the shit out of the dip so I’ll have to slowly deposit money into my brokerage.
[+6] u/theineffablebob: If u still getting Covid in the big 26 u got a gay immune system
[+5] u/Panthera__Tigris: It is a secured loan backed by a very liquid asset (stocks).
[+5] u/No_Stand5622: Ber will be reborn and walk on oil this Sunday
[+5] u/ThinkingOfTheOldDays: Some oil boats slinking their way around Oman's coastline.
If true, not bearish
https://x.com/i/status/2039822756364026367
[+5] u/Nice-Difference8641: Smart bears had oil calls and are eating caviar tonight
[+5] u/OnlyBols: Youll have to wait till monday to lose your money fren
[+5] u/sonofalando: #BABY DONT HURT ME.
😳
[+5] u/Acceptable_Eagle_775: NFLX is the new safe haven. Damn! 😂
[+5] u/Pretty_Dragonfly_716: My MSTR $125 calls expired worthless, but my META $570 puts printed bigly, abs my SPY calls mooned before breaking even. It was a meh day, coulda lost a lot more, probably couldn’t have made much more.
[+5] u/wrongrobertpatrick: Can’t wait to see the lag
Fertilizer scarcity will take months of continuous conflict
Oil fluctuations have devastated airlines and it will be reflected in future earnings
Did we not forget fake cooked data :
-400k jobs vs -200k jobs
[+11] u/cryptopolymath: The head of Homeland Security had no clue what was going on in her own house and I’m supposed to be my own risk manager??
[+10] u/WendyDumpsterFire: Imagine being Larry Ellision laying off your employees just to buy Warner Bros for your son 🤡🤡🤡
[+9] u/FuckElonMuskkk: In Terminator: an actual AGI with thoughts and conciousness comes up with a plan to end the world with nuclear Armageddon.
In real life: stupid chat bots that scrape logic off WSB daily threads accidently cause nuclear war while the FBI and Secretary of War goon in their offices to hot Iranian babes.
[+8] u/Initial_Ad_9250: Jesus better show up in the strait tomorrow
[+7] u/magneticpasta9: The year is 2036, the US have just finished their weekly Iran airstrikes and have gone to truth social to claim victory of the war for the 520th straight week. Elon musk claims that this week for real spacex will IPO. Jim cramer tweets the market will surely feel the effects of the strait of hormuz being closed for the past 10 years next month. The SPY is at 1500 down from its high of 2000.
[+7] u/unhappyreach_: I've hidden 2 dozen eggs somewhere in my body
It's up to you to find them
[+7] u/BlackKnightsOptions: I'm going to keep checking your ass until you tell me to stop
[+7] u/unhappyreach_: There were never any eggs 🥵👄😏
[+6] u/_rockthemike: If you had bought Tesla around November 2021, you’d be bag holding today
[+6] u/br0botic: Why would the new leaders of the Iranian regime agree that their bridges and energy infrastructure need to be destroyed? Add another to the pile of most regarded Trump tweets lmao
[+6] u/1Oc2s52a12864s3sfa: I learned the hard way that women in their 40s that are single, never had kids, and have been divorced, carry femme fatale characteristics that we lonely men oversee because we're desperate for company. After 5 years of building compassion for myself and telling myself I'll find the right partner, I fell for this women. 2 months after, she came up with some "family crisis" and ghosted me with no fucking closure.
Now I'm hurt. I can't think. I feel so confused and am trying my hardest to rationalize everything that happened. Did she cheat on me? Did she find someone else? Who is she fucking now? I can't imagine my fellow traders that have been through divorce. Shit must be brutal. Here's to another day right?
[+6] u/4dolarmeme: People with $1200 dollar car payments on their lifted gas guzzlers are about to feel double retarded.
[+6] u/PhysInstrumentalist: We’ve been talking about boots on the ground for weeks now, and still nothing. Seems kind of premature
[+6] u/PandoraBot: Amazon just charged me $25 for a return. Calls on amazon ngl
[+5] u/Celticsmoneyline: Shell initially named all of its UK oil fields after seabirds in alphabetical order by discovery – Auk, Brent, Cormorant, Dunlin, Eider, Fulmar and so on. Brent refers to the brent goose
[+5] u/Appropriate-Good-358: Seeing that $1.2-$6k guy kinda ruined WSB for me. I figured we were all average people with normal lives. Not cave dwelling losers.
[+5] u/i-Vison: 🥭 said screw daycare, Medicaid and Medicare! He needs the $ for wars!
[+5] u/Ninefingerzs: Sir this is a Wendy’s you are going to have to place an order or leave
[+5] u/BlackKnightsOptions: I'm still sticking to the plan bb
[+5] u/Iscratchmybutt: In a few months I will be making a Gains post on wsb about my leaps. YALL BEEN SHITTING ON ME BUT YALL GONNA GET THIS WORK
[+5] u/OkResponsibility2470: US Army chief of staff asked to step down by Hegseth, sources say
https://www.reddit.com/r/news/s/v9vIi4Gjn9
Calls on impending ground operation
[+5] u/thehelpfuldemeter: Isnt the market closed for good friday?
[+5] u/CMDR_Shepard96: You might be retarded but at least you didn't buy 3 0DTE 660C for 5c each and then fall asleep until after market close.
Fuck.
[+5] u/Lurk_Maximus: You think Byron areolas are bigger than or smaller than a quarter?
[+5] u/_Fibbles_: Believe it or not, chocolate eggs.
(Fuck you, I'm an adult and don't have to wait until Sunday)
[+5] u/Pizzapimento: Can we actually call it a good friday if the market's closed?
[+5] u/Me-Regarded: What's Good about Friday with no market?
[+5] u/f0xinaround: All cash this weekend. Nobody's gonna put jelly beans in my butt 🫘
[+18] u/lysergalien: I never hold options over the weekend, much less 3 day weekend. But I decided to go heavy into puts at open after seeing the oil price. That shrek dick took me from -10% to -50% so now I'm bagholding 😭 but now I understand why bers are twisted creatures that pray for the downfall of their fellow man. I'm never buying puts again I can't live like this
[+15] u/Willing_Spring2736: Everyday I wonder if I should just become a right wing grifter in twitter..shit seems too easy to grift boomers and retards
[+11] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: So, is a firing generals during a war bullish?
[+10] u/Damandalorianway: tomorrow i will kiss a wall for a 0% interest loan
[+10] u/Newlife_40: Bitcoin is the same price as it was 5 years ago… wtf
[+9] u/Pale-Silver-8178: Still remember that AMD guy who turned 7k to 1 million of the openai and AMD announcement when AMD was up 30% premarket.
[+9] u/solidsneeze: what genius decided to blow up a bridge that was still under construction?
[+8] u/octopus_serenader: Just wanted to thank u/ProudestPeasant - your comment inspired me to make BLTs tonight for dinner and I regret nothing.
HOT TIP: slice your tomatoes into a bowl with salt and pepper and a drizzle of balsamic and let them sit while you cook the bacon.
[+8] u/TequilaTrader: Anyone over 65 should go.
[+7] u/Significant_Speed854: Love this bot answer
[+7] u/livingiice: This is the most absurd bull trap. Im gonna open my app next wednesday. Not gonna entertain this shii
[+6] u/Anonymustafar: I’m selling out for AIPAC money sorry guys
[+6] u/2tapbaptise: Everyone need to sign a petition for the market either go up or down
NO FUCKING SIDEWAYS 😡
[+6] u/TJMBeav: I will admit that today was very strange and confusing market moves. A bull win, no doubt, but oil remaining elevated while the market rallies almost 2% is definitely confusing. I have three days to ponder. Positions over the long weekend are $SPY 680 and $USO 100 puts.
[+6] u/OilBull: The invasion is happening tonight. You heard it here first.
[+6] u/SeliciousSedicious: Touch my balls for 20 minutes and call my sack a wrinkly baby face and I’ll give you $3k
[+5] u/Wonderful-Form-6422: Is 🥭 Austin Powers villain?
[+5] u/Accomplished_Suit651: Hey, just got back from a 30 ban, bitches! I trust everything's been nice and even keeled since I've been gone
[+5] u/DeezCodeNutz: I want my gd tariff rebate already 🥭!
[+5] u/winston511: Ah yes one of the most well known ways to garner public support and definitely not create more extreme resistance, disable their electricity grid
[+5] u/undocumented_twerker: Better buy calls tomorrow before we really rip on Monday
[+12] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: imagine going to school for 4 years and aquiring a shit ton of student loan debt, just to become a ber and lose it all on a single unexpected god candle
[+10] u/falken2023: Gotta wonder what kind bullshit those generals were told to do that they refused to take part in.
This weekend is gonna be a shit show for the history books.
I’m ready for 🥭to totally throw Hegseth under the bus and blame him for everything.
[+9] u/cruisin_urchin87: Wake up, smoke weed, drink coffee, and walk the dog. Going to be a great day.
[+8] u/D1finalboss: That dude got those Mr Doubtfire fake boobs from Temu 😂
[+8] u/Own-Wolverine-5361: Next BOJ decision (this is the key one)
- Meeting: April 27–28, 2026
- Decision release: April 28 (Japan time) 
In U.S. time:
- Late April 27 (evening / overnight) depending on your timezone
[+7] u/Own-Wolverine-5361: There are only 4 people from Earth that can say *I love you to the moon and back*
🌎🚀🌙
[+7] u/Global-Layer6530: Israel also bombed the house of the Iranian guy responsible for negotiations today. Killed his wife and seriously wounded him. Israel isn't going to let us have a ceasefire
[+6] u/sanndman: Korea and Japan markets up on oman-iran talks. They dont take holiday for bullshit reasons.
[+6] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: i predict the market will be closed tomorrow 🤌🏻✨
[+6] u/Own-Wolverine-5361: Imagine farting in your space suit on the way to the moon 🚀🐸
[+6] u/sanndman: War is over when Israel is ok with it. What else do they still want? Americans boots on ground but none from Israel? Are you fucking kidding me?
[+5] u/Own-Wolverine-5361: Jesus would want the markets open
[+5] u/Marshmallowmind2: Now watch this drive
[+5] u/Future_Chipmunk_7897: I'm sure the markets reaction to a full-scale invasion will make just as much sense as the "reaction" to oil futures spiking and Treasury yields inverting.
[+5] u/kal14144: The Dow is so down even mentioning 50,000 will get you fired!
[+5] u/Unlikely_Proof_7772: WW3 Confirmed ➡️ SPY $800
[+5] u/nsfwnsfwnsfw33333: I blocked him. I swear its some old guy with glasses the size of Farnsworth's because why do you need to make your text that big, and the fact its always the same ending to his comment screams 'digital signature' or some shit. 100% a boomer.
[+5] u/Saeonic: if you buy clothing from amazon everyone can see you naked, shit is paper thin just like this Fhugazi market!
[+5] u/Low-Tough8302: Have a happy Easter weekend everybody
[+5] u/IndividualNo7155: Wait no casino today?
[+5] u/Ahzmer: So basically things will probably be escalating over weekend, oil infra destroyed, global recession, and we open +2% shrek because its the only thing that makes sense.
[+5] u/dontbanthisaccount: I missed the news I guess, the uk got 40 countries to pressure iran to open the straight, and iran and Oman are working on a plan to open the straight
[+5] u/Syllabub_Visual: Remember the sole purpose of your life is to be able to make Jeff Bezos richer. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise…
[+14] u/pmotiveforce: No, my son. No. Thou art forsaken.
[+13] u/daedalus_dance: Kegseth removing the chief of staff to step down during a war is clearly a sign of reasonableness and logic taking over the pentagon?
[+11] u/0insertusernamehere: Jesus would want the casino to be open
[+10] u/Montyprice7206: Saw a grown man crying at the movies cause they were sold out of the yoshi popcorn bucket
Bullish
[+9] u/thefrozen_one: The MM’s say, we don’t need the citizens to be rich, we need them to be exit liquidity
[+9] u/housemoneyrocketship: Paid $20 for wifi on a flight just for it to work the last 1.5 hours. FML.
[+9] u/NapNapNapNap: BREAKING NEWS
Philippine ships granted “safe” passage in Strait of Hormuz
-aljazeera
[+8] u/Loperenco: I was so fucking tempted to buy further puts on this pos QQQ or long oil but decided to juat have a break for the sake of mental health over longer weekend. Lets eat popcorn and observe
[+7] u/Queasy_Soil9646: This chat is the worse place to look up for trading advice.
[+7] u/TarrifJacksonJr: When people have money on the line, they will disregard reality for their own lies and believe what they want to happen instead of what will happen
Only when they are broke will they be forced to accept reality because they no longer have the choice of believing what they want to believe
[+7] u/timetopractice: You degens gonna be trading shitcoins for 3 days I know it
[+7] u/RelationshipShort460: how does footwear work in the army? I have clown feet with a narrow heel, will they provide custom orthotics for deployment? Thinking of enlisting to support big daddy
[+7] u/eje0100: First day of boot camp they shove you in boots and tell you they will break in. They actually do, and fit like a glove after. But the first week be prepared for blisters.
[+7] u/Neel_Crashkari: 5' 4" and hung like chapstick
[+6] u/No_Network_9438: Jesus would want the market open on his death day
[+6] u/zestykite: amazing how many coin toss bets i can lose in a row. impressive actually.
[+6] u/timetopractice: No news over the weekend is bad news.
[+6] u/PremiumFentanylGouda: SPY always go back up LMAO
[+6] u/gavbot_1213: Working Artemis 2 launch support for Orion has been one of the greatest honors of my life. The hours on console are insane and nonstop, but god the adrenaline keeps you going.
[+6] u/handsome_uruk: Can GOOGL cut the BS and go to 350 already. getting tired of this shit.
[+5] u/somanyvegetables: Seal Team 6 is checking to make sure all their 0dtes expired worthless and they are going in.
[+5] u/thetalljs: Walmart is genius because the stores are so big, people get lost in it and need to buy sustenance and survival gear just to make it to the exit.
[+5] u/Rvin16: Yes tomorrow is closed
[+18] u/Roxorek: OPERATION EPIC FAILURE
[+14] u/HowLongCanIMakeACock: No way Karoline Leavitt is only 28
[+13] u/luxford2: oil hitting 120 on monday
[+12] u/solariac: What the fuck is Good Friday. It is most certainly NOT a good Friday if the casino is CLOSED! Thank you for your attention to this matter.
[+8] u/tombrady011235: I just ate so many pistachios
[+8] u/IIVX: The war is going to end soon because I bought calls on USO yesterday at close
[+8] u/tomato232: RDDT is 52% below its high.
Earnings in a month. Last 2 earnings: +244% and +400%; this one is expected to be bigger.
The best way to make money is to buy high-quality stocks when they're down.
[+7] u/Sweaty-Survey-9804: I hope the US military just turns the boats around and comes home. Let these assholes know.
[+7] u/Own_Cat_9967: With this casino closed today I recommend losing money on NBA and MLB games.
[+7] u/astrawberryandakiwi: Y’all think 🥭 made Pam suck him off for protection before he fired her? He’s done it before
[+7] u/UnitedCup1814: So who is going to be the world's next super power?🥭 Is making it clear it's not America anymore
[+7] u/n1ck90z: The japanese market makes 1 hour lunch break every day. Wtf, is it powered by a guy running on a treadmill?
[+7] u/ConsiderationKey1658: ^shoutout ^small ^letters
[+6] u/sleepygarner: Doesn't feel good no matter up or down. Just seems like world is beyond fucked
[+6] u/Chance-Albatross7809: OIL FUTES ARE NOT 71
YAHOO IS BUGGED.
[+6] u/khante: Did Claude add "This is not financial advice" at the end? If not you can take its advice, follow it and if you fail you can sue the company. The only way this ends is at profit
[+5] u/Beneficial-Tough-912: same, for a joke. mods are fake and ghey
[+5] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: Bols in Minas Tirith fighting for their lives rn
[+5] u/mrmagootoyou2: Isn't bombing power plants a war crime?
[+5] u/Jake-And-The-Fatman: Life is dull when the markets are closed.
[+5] u/Test-NetConnection: With 1m you could probably just play options for a couple of days and either retire or jump off a bridge. Either way you won't have to work.
[+5] u/ConsiderationKey1658: #Stop with the big letters
[+5] u/Jazari1: the funny thing is.. its clam before storm. if i was betting man i would bet on tomorrow start of ground operations.
[+5] u/holymolyratio: somehow 112$ oil is bullish
[+5] u/daisymoth9: imagine being a europoor. so scary
[+5] u/spurious_elephant: I too have encountered issues on my way to the moon
[+5] u/ILikeCorgiButt: SPX Call credit spreads .2 deltas a month out is the move. Be responsibly ghey