Daily Discussion Thread for April 03, 2026

[+56] u/avdvetf: why don't they just pour the oil into the strait and let it float out naturally, collect it on the other side [+32] u/j0ven_: Today will be my most profitable day all week. [+18] u/WingedScapula420: Maybe my portfolio will rise from the dead as Jesus did on Easter [+17] u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister: Looking like a 0% day today [+16] u/G0RD0N_CLARK: Markets closed because of a religious holiday, but I’m not religious, so why am I forced to “observe”? Separation of church & state huh?🤔 [+15] u/NapNapNapNap: Iran just hit a desalination plant in Kuwait. [+15] u/xavras_wyzryn: I just refuse to believe that no land operation is brewing [+14] u/IAmLostOnMyFuture: Tf are we gambling our lifesaving on today [+13] u/X211499Reddit: This is the best trading day I’ve had all year [+13] u/Different_Being368: It's crazy to think that when my kids will be my age america will not be the no.1 super power in the world. [+12] u/TheMeta40k: Why are my little lines not wiggling? How am I supposed to feel alive if the lines don't wiggle. [+12] u/General-Giraffe9092: What kind of holiday is this? Im still at work and these thieves get the day off! [+12] u/lonewolf210: Did everyone forget the markets are closed today? [+12] u/dralva: Is this market European? With all these days off? [+11] u/HomeMadeToast: Does anyone actually believe CPI is at 2.4%? A steak quesadilla at Taco Bell costs fucking $8 now [+11] u/StonkGoUp: They close the casino and call it a “Good Friday”? I’m literally trembling from withdrawals [+10] u/youdirtyhoe: Jesus wants us to gamble. I asked. [+10] u/callsonreddit: Market closed on Good Friday? It feels illegal [+9] u/BirdyPooPoo: JPOW in Easter mode. Listening to 90’s snoop in his ‘64. Cruising lower Manhattan singing out “We don’t luv dem hoes.” [+9] u/LabyrinthLayers: Casino closed, BTC hourlies it is [+9] u/necarpenter417: I know the market is closed today. I've still opened robinhood 5 times to look. [+9] u/lemuever17: Has anyone watched the new Mario movie? Is that good? [+8] u/llasar17: Damn, Jackie, I can't control the weather [+8] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: i guess we could trade maple syrup futures on the canadian exchange [+8] u/kvndoom: The Millennium Falcon made the Hormuz run in 12 parsecs. [+8] u/No_Current3675: Operation EPIC RETARD [+7] u/Fabi_2405: My portfolio right now looks like a Jackson Pollock painting chaotic, colorful, and probably worth less than I think. [+7] u/Tagliata: This weekend will be scary, i want to buy some puts for Monday but time decay is a bitch [+7] u/blemdemman: chatting on daily thread part of my circadian rhythm now [+7] u/Chrg88: It’s fucking closed today? [+7] u/Kiddie_Lover67: The markets should be open, it's my only form of entertainment. [+6] u/YourCautionaryTale: Just waiting for someone to make a banbet today [+6] u/ReferenceFunny7142: Upon being greeted at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter says, "I have one question, and if you get it right, I will let you into Heaven. Answer wrong, and you will not be allowed in." He asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?" She answers, "That's the time of the year when our whole family gets together and we eat turkey." St. Peter says to the next blonde, "What is Easter?" She answers, "That's the time of year when the fat jolly guy comes down the chimney and our family gets together to open presents." St. Peter asks the third blonde, "What is Easter?" She says, "That's when Christ died and they put him in a tomb behind a rock." "That's right!" exclaims St. Peter. "Then, once a year," continues the third blonde, "we roll the stone away and he comes out, and if he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of winter." [+6] u/Viktri1: The US /Israel destroyed a bridge in Iran. I’m guessing this is a prelude to boots on the ground. [+6] u/mallison945: J dog would want the markets to be open. [+6] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: # OPEN THE CASINO !!! [+5] u/Retaining-Wall: The markets are fake and grey today. [+5] u/Sweeetmoves: I made my money back again guys, how can I lose it with the market closed though? I keep buying and returning rope and folding chairs from Amazon [+5] u/zackacz: I need to be staring at the sequence of green and red rectangles! How will I know if it'll be either steak or ramen noodles for dinner tonight? [+5] u/Pancakesex: I’m not down today :) [+5] u/StonkGoUp: If you’re an advocate for Flock camera surveillance state to “find your lost dog” or whatever they advertise you’re a retarded cuck [+50] u/twostroke1: I love how the casino isn’t even open today yet we all gather here like a bunch of crack heads standing around a 55gal drum fire under a bridge. [+21] u/lysergalien: If markets are closed then I shouldn't have to work. Because working without being able to trade on the clock is pure hell [+19] u/dylanx5150: Rejoice!!! For I will not lose money today. [+17] u/OsamaBagHolding: Today feels like a substitute teacher day lol [+17] u/DragonFruit-_-777: 🥭 really trying to threaten Europe… brother no ones gonna believe you anymore you taco too much [+17] u/Itslolo52484: +178k job in March lol. The books are cooked. [+15] u/SoloOutdoor: Pencils down retards [+15] u/daedalus_dance: Relatively credible looking reports that Iran has shot down a F-15E strike eagle and has the pilots. Peace talks going well. [+13] u/KieferSutherland: Most cooked jobs report of all time? [+13] u/StonksInvesteur: “Employment numbers are up but let’s revise it down a couple of months later” [+12] u/The_BakedCrusader: The Army Chief of Staff was fired by Hegseth along with the head of the Army's Transformation and Training Command and head of the Army's Chaplain Corps. 100% this was due to disagreements over a ground invasion. Hegseths cleaning house and finding people who will do his bidding. Ground war coming this month. [+12] u/Manufactured_feces: > With a little more time, we can easily OPEN THE HORMUZ STRAIT, TAKE THE OIL, & MAKE A FORTUNE. IT WOULD BE A “GUSHER” FOR THE WORLD??? President DONALD J. TRUMP The market is like “oh shit for real?” [+11] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Petition to rename Good Friday to Bad Friday since the stock market is closed [+11] u/universal-deceit: ARTEMIS II couldn’t even get Microsoft outlook to work properly LMAO! MSFT BAGHOLDERS IN ABSOLUTE SHAMBLES!!! [+11] u/T0th3M00NW3G0: Not only is the market closed but my work is open… guess I actually have to pay attention today [+11] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Lmao what is this jobs report? +178k gonna be revised to -178k [+10] u/AirwickS: Well, negotiations seem to be going well… “Striking civilian structures, including unfinished bridges, will not compel Iranians to surrender," Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi said Wednesday on social media.” [+10] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: Market will stay green today. [+10] u/universal-deceit: THIS IS BS! OPEN THE MF CASINO RIGHT NOW! [+9] u/stupidber: Jesus would've wanted the casino to stay open [+9] u/Historical_Stage2622: Ain't nothing good about this Friday smh [+9] u/ImadeJesusLaugh: i feel like monday is about to red candle like crazy, destroying all Calls. GG Bulls [+9] u/QuarkTheFerengi: they say america has freedom. why the fuck am i at work on a holiday btw some futes are open you degenerates, no excuse to not lose some money today too [+8] u/dude0001: Desalination and power plant hit in Kuwait. https://www.aljazeera.com/news/liveblog/2026/4/3/iran-war-live-trump-warns-assault-on-infrastructure-hasnt-even-started [+8] u/DaFlyingGriffin: As we start to see reports of countries gaining passage through the strait of Hormuz, and UN votes to secure passage fail/get postponed, I'm led to wonder what are the next steps. I supect Trump may have played perfectly into Iran's hands on Wednesday when he shocked oil prices with his speech threatening increased conflict and no secure end in sight. The only thing keeping the US afloat in this war was their constant suppression of oil prices, whether the shorting paper oil or by constant floating of misinformation and fake leaks. Now that the price of oil has broken out to the upside, other countries are starting to panic at the prospect of $150+/bbl prices and are shifting their focus toward making deals with Iran in order to allow safe passage. This gives Iran the ability to promote their own aim to charge unofficial fees to ensure safe passage during the war with the yuan to settle. Once the war ends, this system will then be further ingrained, with Iran and Oman establishing a system for taxing the passage through the strait of Hormuz and weaken the petrodollar. [+8] u/anerdknownaswill: Still holding some $630 puts that expire next Friday and some $600 puts that expire in June. Am I rich or fucked? [+8] u/Trenavix: if Friday is so good then why can't I trade on it [+8] u/Iamhappilyconfused: When I was a teen I did not think I'd be in my late 20s spending half of my time being retarded in the stock market, and the other half reading harem stories on kindle unlimited, and yet here we are. Life really is a box of chocolates. [+8] u/orsomeshitidk: Look at you poor things. Nothing to do but jork your peenrs [+8] u/Snowman33001: You’re at your most dangerous coming off a winning trade. [+8] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Watch that unemployment numbers here in 10 minutes shake us down another 1%, then boots on the ground for an Easter surprise down another 2% on futes for sunday then mango speaks at 8am Monday saying its all good now and algos send us back up +4% to bring us back to 668 [+8] u/patricktu1258: BER R FUK AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN [+8] u/Bam2458: Lol every jobs report is overstated and then they just revise the previous number down the next month. [+7] u/DanqueLeChay: 🐅called 🥭after his DUI crash LOL [+7] u/Pazzaaaaaa: Is it me of does the space sector seem wayyy overhyped. Once everyone has the best possible internet and cell connection, what other near term revenue streams are there? Space tourism for the average person is still decades away. [+7] u/natalie_merchant_fan: this market has been pretty squirrely. kudos to anyone who has traded it consistently well. [+7] u/hardcrepe: The true war is against the 🐻. If you know, you know. [+7] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: Do you guys remember when Elmo Muskrat went on a tirade against Brazil's government for ordering certain accounts blocked because of free speech concerns and then bent over like a dog when Modi asked for the same exact thing [+7] u/Most-Crazy2353: So do we get weekly tv broadcasts now from king taco? [+7] u/Whoopziedaisy: Lmao we are gonna get that oil and get so rich. All of us! [+7] u/WrexyWrex: Everyday I wake up, take off my pajamas and then put on my other pajamas [+6] u/Gatorsgeneric: Only one dude whose name starts with a J can raise this dead market, and thou hollowed name be Powell. [+6] u/Elementaldose: So many juicy losses on sub page [+6] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: starting a new ETF WSBI it’s the inverse of sentiment at WSB, but 5x levered tits up? impossible [+6] u/rollsroysebaby: Hate the pineapple, but the way he gets people to totally debase themselves for him and then disposes of them is fascinating to watch. All the people sucking on his fat log will eventually be left out to dry [+6] u/Beneficial-Sail-6139: If people go to work on Friday the market should be open.. it’s work for us retards [+6] u/Kind-Recognition4528: I’d rather lose 10% of my port today than having the markets closed. [+6] u/ConsiderationKey1658: What am I supposed to do today? Work!? [+6] u/ConsiderationKey1658: About to smash a large quantity of hash browns [+6] u/pleasestoptalkin: Life hack: you can just walk out of work today for “religious reasons” and sue your employer if they do anything. - trust me I’m a lawyer [+6] u/fredditf: Nonfarm Payrolls (Mar) 178K vs 65K EST Unemployment Rate (Mar) 4.3% vs 4.4% EST Average Hourly Earnings (MoM) (Mar) 0.2% vs 0.3% EST [+5] u/Iknowyougotsole: No way the market continues ripping next week guaranteed. [+5] u/hardcrepe: Imagine if 🥭 comes out Monday morning with a peace deal. If the thought causes anxiety, you may be sufficiently leveraged. [+5] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost /u/Sbrunex made a bet that NOW would go to 109.0 within **2 days** when it was 105.86 and it did not, so they were banned for a week. Their record is now 1 wins and 5 losses [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) [+5] u/OkTax379: I love to explain all my investment thesis with If I stole your wallet …. [+5] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost /u/canbolat4 made a bet that SPY would go to 639.0 within **1 day** when it was 645.226 and it did not, so they were banned for a week. Their record is now 0 wins and 2 losses [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) [+5] u/n1ck90z: I will give you three thruths: - You can't spell bear without fuckd. - You can't spell bull without chad. - I can't read [+5] u/WattMotorCompany: Well that kills any rate cut [+5] u/claytondpark: Where after all these nfp plus jobs I'm hearing about 😗😗😗 [+5] u/jasperCrow: 90% of equities are owned by the top 10%. If those 10% just chose to not sell. We don’t get a dump 😞. Wealth inequality is at an all time high. The rich decide when we dump not the average person. [+43] u/Both-Improvement8645: My compliments to the chef, those job numbers were nice and spicy [+27] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: 178k is actually the total number of jobs in the US now, not how many have been created [+25] u/king_of_all_retards: #You all are fucking retards ❤️ [+22] u/Hot_Avocado_2701: Hmm, US defense people fired, continuous truthsocial threats, f15 down, doesn’t look very promising to me [+18] u/An_Unusual_Mind: Is it just me or don't America find it scary that a newscaster can fire long serving generals? [+18] u/Confident-Window4928: Odds of ground invasion before the end of the year hit all time highs at 84% on polymarket btw lol [+18] u/EnginrA: Those 178k jobs are all nurses wiping boomers asses [+17] u/br0botic: “The president can stay regarded longer than you can stay solvent” or something like that [+16] u/Atti_: markets closes for Good Friday is so dumb it's not like the algos are going to church [+16] u/Joey-Cap: Lets be honest...nobody has any fken clue what the market is going to do on Monday [+14] u/MooseyGoosey69: How did a F15 get shot down with a "completely destroyed military"? [+14] u/TheGeoGod: Anyone else forced to be a wage slave today? [+13] u/kim82352: AXIOS: U.S. fighter jet shot down in Iran, search underway for crew [+12] u/FeverTreeCloud: LOL, job numbers came in better than expected 🥭 must have forgotten that the market is closed today and released fudged numbers [+12] u/BenisSpaghetti: Job revision will be a clean -178k to bring us to precisely zero. Mark this post. [+12] u/SovietPower777: A10 Warthogs spotted in Iran, 1000% ground invasion, the question is when? [+12] u/Poptart_Salad: We got MIA over Iran after saying we'd give no quarter and bomb the enemy back to the stone age. Bearish. [+12] u/No-Improvement3164: -97k last month to 178k this month. Too much winning [+11] u/Ok-Analysis4121: Closing the stock market for a religion is discriminatory to Satanists [+11] u/Bizonistic: Truth posts are getting more aggressive every day. I guess peace deal is not in the room with us [+11] u/AfraidAnalyst: F-15 shot down. So, Iran gets a system reset? No way mango just seems it “that’ll happen” when they’ve been saying we own the skies, they have nothing left [+11] u/budsonguy: This place used to be filled with actual degenerates instead of bots [+10] u/peterpeer9: It has come to my attention that today is a market holiday. There's nothing good about that. Today is Bad Friday. [+10] u/Successful-Rule-5407: I predict we open around $620 on monday and I make $17000 [+10] u/Infinite-Anybody204: “Anti-Israel” Bro just doesn’t wanna die in a war thats got nothing to do with him🥀 [+9] u/Fatt-Elvis: 26 minutes until nothing [+9] u/TraipseTraveller: Jesus would have wanted the casino open [+9] u/SenileOldDude: Damn that 200k loss has had me so depressed for a couple days, the fuck is wrong with me lmao [+9] u/Any_Life_6178: Wait, you’re telling me the BLS cooked the numbers on the report? Wow [+9] u/Damerman: That wick at 8:30 was insane. And then they realized the numbers were cooked to a crisp [+9] u/Concept-Plastic: It’s 100% if you sample just me [+8] u/Ill-Expression1737: futures going down down [+8] u/FartPolluter: mango cope posting about hormuz and stewling iran's oil [+8] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: WHATS GOING ON IN IRAN LOL ANOTHER ONE A US A-10 Warthog is operating over Iran to help locate the pilot of an F-15 fighter jet shot down by Iran. [+8] u/BenisSpaghetti: The whine of a drone is definitely the sound of PTSD in modern warfare. An Amazon drone is going to send grandpa Liam right back to the beaches of Hormuz. [+8] u/Weak_Emu3659: I remember in high school my teachers telling me about how compound interest would make us rich one day - any idea what the hell they were talking about? [+8] u/teh_herper: #Markets might be closed, but the fries still need to be put in the bag [+8] u/duma0610: Unemployment rate at 4.3% is much better than WSB unemployment rate at 90%. [+8] u/FartPolluter: USA is essentially revenge trading at this point. It's the classic revenge play in like 2006 Dota or CoD, increasing your probability of pwnage by an unranked nub thereby becoming the nub. Not l33t, not l33t at all. [+8] u/DuckTalesOohOoh: Market's kind of slow. [+8] u/br0botic: Administration is a shitshow. Oil prices mooning, continuing to drive stubborn inflation, pointless war dampening consumer spending and sentiment, etc. SPX: best I can do is -6% from ATH [+8] u/SmoothOperator423: How am I supposed to focus on work when the casino is closed? [+8] u/Madsen13140: Pilot captured.Bol fkd. [+8] u/kcramthun: Why am I finding out about another downed jet and Iran claiming the fighter from this thread? The news was just on when I refilled my coffee, no mention of even a plane getting downed. Insane. [+8] u/Ok-Piano8789: no markets sounds more like a Bad Friday to me [+8] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: \+178K lmfao. they are lying [+8] u/Iceman12145: Better jobs numbers imply stronger economy. Allows fed to have more confidence to raise rates if needed. Higher rates would crush equities right now. [+8] u/Pure-Marketing-4236: Double digit IQ spotted [+7] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: where the fuck are you crackheads even looking at market movements right now? [+7] u/financiallythriving: Imagine talking about the markets on a closed market day, on a Friday [+7] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Rescue Blackhawk helicopter also shot down in Iran.. Initial reports indicate that Iran has shot down a U.S. F-15E fighter jet, with debris found in central Iran that closely matches the aircraft. Now the Americans are using F-35, UH-60 Black Hawk helicopters, and a Lockheed C-130 Hercules aircraft to search for the downed F-15 pilot in Iran. [+7] u/kim82352: > US Air Force's A-10 Thunderbolt II has been spotted in the area where the pilots of the downed F-15E are being searched for. > The Americans continue to deploy more and more forces to the operation site to provide cover for the rescuers. [+7] u/kim82352: > The Iranians found the ejection seat of one of the ejected pilots of the American F-15E, but not the pilot himself. > Judging by the photo, this is indeed the ejection seat Advanced Concept Ejection Seat II (ACES II), used, among other things, on F-15E Strike Eagle aircraft. [+7] u/sloanemonroe: He’s posting about “with a little more time we can easily open the strait” He’s worried about the strait staying closed. [+7] u/Confident-Window4928: Just woke up, god I can’t wait to trade today! [+7] u/BadBoyBilbo: Mods being ruthless taking down new posts today. Everyone is frustrated because the market is closed for a funeral that happened 2000 years ago. [+7] u/apurimac777: Oh fuck no, my top 1% commenter flair is back Time to retreat to shadow realm again [+7] u/hermeskino715: Labor market super strong ✅️ Consumer confidence super confident ✅️ Retail sales decently strong ✅️ When rate hike coming? [+7] u/-IQ200: Market is closed? It’s not a Good Friday. 👿 [+7] u/J_da_CPA: Boomers still worried about their legacy lmao [+7] u/Stonkrates: F15 going down and then firing commanders does add up [+7] u/kim82352: > Axios, citing a source familiar with the matter: The search continues for the crew of the downed US fighter jet, consisting of two pilots. [+7] u/Similar-Turnip2482: Equities should not be closed. Ever. [+7] u/Shoganai_Hito: “Money can’t buy happiness” -some lame rich guy that never had to worry about money [+7] u/wrongrobertpatrick: Holding oil over the three day weekend is both anxiety provoking and exciting [+7] u/GreenGameboyColor: Good morning 🥱 Hope y'all had your black coffee this morning [+7] u/wowthisguyoverhere: At least a 20 min line at Walmart for self checkout. We are cooked. [+7] u/Popular_Song3371: Just sold some ETH at a loss to feel something and ensure my loss streak continues 🙌 [+7] u/gigilero: “Recovery” from what? [+7] u/Fineous400: ATH for the market is normal it’s abnormal to not be at ATH. [+6] u/shinigami_2245: Who tf is Brent and why is his oil so expensive? [+6] u/Ashamed-Reaction-548: Labor participation rate is down again. Likely distorted the job growth and unemployment rate. [+6] u/Joshuahuskers: Futures popped then actually dropped on the job report. Market doesn’t believe anything 🥭 says lol [+6] u/Comfortable-Rule-491: If iran really gets their pilot which they will i guess then this is going to get very bad for the US [+6] u/winston511: Shame we wasted such a bullish day on a fake holiday [+6] u/Hot_Avocado_2701: I have a feeling my shorts are fucked [+6] u/NeighborhoodDry1821: Notice how last month market doesn’t even react to data like it used too lol Knows it’s cooked [+6] u/posttruthage: Waiting for Iran to tell me how to trade on Monday [+6] u/financiallythriving: Imagine making good financial decisions in your 20s /30s that sets you up to retire early [+6] u/PeachScary413: How cooked do you want the jobs numbers? Yes. [+6] u/Pure-Marketing-4236: Added 178k jobs after losing 98k last month. Liars. [+6] u/SeaweedLeft9746: US fighter jet just got shot down over Iran  https://www.axios.com/2026/04/03/iran-us-fighter-shot-down [+6] u/No_Stand5622: Boomers contribute 401k for retirement Gen Z and Millennials contribute 401k for war [+6] u/Total_Schedule591: So where's N. Korea on all this? Pretty quiet lately [+6] u/Detonate-Ralph: Love seeing LMT shareholders getting fukt [+6] u/sallyrideee: so wait, was there no april fools day bans this year? [+6] u/AGener0usGod: Open the fuking casino! [+6] u/Cold_Distribution273: When the war shows no signs of slowing down by Monday I assume the market will inexplicably climb right along with oil right? [+6] u/SenileOldDude: I need to lock the fuck in and get my shit together [+6] u/ByahhByahh: Markets are closed. Why even bother being alive today? [+6] u/Detonate-Ralph: Is purging the whole military and having your jets downed bullish? [+6] u/S-Club-Party: There should be more holidays tbh. Being able to randomly shut down the economy for a day just to eat chocolate bunnies is a huge flex on the poorer countries [+6] u/smart_doge: It’s not war, it’s military operation. It’s not boots on the ground, it’s a Search and Rescue op. [+6] u/Stonkrates: F15 crash will end up being a big deal [+6] u/absolutxtr: Kuwait desalination plant hit. Iran preemptively committing war crimes against the region in preparation for the war crimes that will be committed against them. Yup. Winding down for sure! [+6] u/dmk_world: Who the fook is russia? You mean the country that tries to bully their lil neighbor since many years? [+6] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: It is not in fact mooning at all [+6] u/Fineous400: Why do I know how to setup a Wi-Fi network then? [+6] u/Rosebunse: Remember when Russia thought they could take Ukraine over the weekend? Pepperidge Farm remembers. [+6] u/Pure-Marketing-4236: There’s a reason it’s unpopular boss man [+5] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Holy shit some escalation folks The US rescue team is active in this part of Iran looking for the F-15 pilots [+5] u/Fernyfern7: Were there revisions on this report? [+5] u/wellzy17: I’ll suck Tom Lee right now [+5] u/Canadianinvestor1997: So inflation risks elevated from oil and the unemployment rate drops with lots of jobs. So rates go up is what I’m hearing meaning we going to be even more red. Bears in control this week [+5] u/I_am_Nerman: Just woke up and jerked it to all the loss porn on the main page. Gonna be a good Friday. [+5] u/teh_herper: Even people are getting rugged in SPY futes now lmao [+5] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: Fraud czar is the latest distraction attempt [+5] u/neal_73: I am bored guhhhhhhh [+5] u/skymagic: Tiger Woods is actually surprisingly super relatable rn [+5] u/Concept-Plastic: Just got a free handjob. Later peasants [+5] u/teh_herper: #Breaking 🥭 announced that "the greeks" will henceforth be called "the americans" [+5] u/TheDevilintheDark: If X=Twitter, then Space X is just Space Twitter? 2 trillion valuation seems kinda low for a forum consisting mostly of intergalactic racism. [+5] u/Joey-Cap: F15 down....dont think mango is going to let that one slide [+5] u/OptionGamble: What a weird moment to close futures. [+5] u/Treverer: So everybody’s openly sceptical of the payroll numbers, even MSM. The one thing money doesn’t like is uncertainty, and if you can’t trust official numbers anymore you are utterly fucked as an investment destination, great job 🥭 [+5] u/Ssjalexgd4: Why is it called Good Friday if the casino is closed 🤔 [+5] u/1-gp: Markets are open woo!!! [+5] u/Outof_ITM: I was just talking with the president [+5] u/According-Page8618: best payrolls report since 2024 = -0,4% lol [+5] u/nocashflow_: What the fuck am I supposed to do at work with the markets closed [+5] u/Conrad3k: At this point a nuclear exchange in the middle east will end with SPY closing at +0,5%. [+5] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: [F15E downed over iran, Search and rescue ongoing](https://x.com/Osint613/status/2040040061496942904?s=20) [+5] u/According-Page8618: kept my calls and we cant trade on monday in germany cause of easter, please amerifats dont fuck me too hard on monday [+5] u/ring_of_slattern: All of you bers screaming to close the casino yesterday finally got your wish [+5] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: we just double topped on a dead cat bounce lol [+5] u/Warm-Tumbleweed-7473: When do I get the home I paid $25k for in 1986? [+5] u/Mild_Mannered_Pate_: That definitely is an unpopular opinion [+5] u/nullzeroerror: It’s so wild how confident people are in saying the dumbest shit you’ve ever heard in your life [+23] u/Mr_Compyuterhead: Monday’s dump will be biblical [+21] u/wildcat1055: Everybody knows if you get shot down over Iran, you just steal an F-14 Tomcat from an old hangar and fly your way out [+20] u/CPA-hole: Anniversary of when the Easter bunny died in that helicopter crash [+19] u/ProudPeak3570: Obviously all the downed pilots need to do is find an old, abandoned fighter jet in an unguarded hanger and steal it [+19] u/RampantPrototyping: It used to be called the Straight of Muz until your momma went there [+17] u/BigBritches619: Theres a lot of fucked up shit but what is really fucked is it cost 12k a month to live in a nursing home [+14] u/topcheddarsauce: US troop hiding in Iran after ejecting, and 40% increase in military spending for 2027...Spy up. I think we deserve to lose money at this point. [+14] u/KevinWarshNudes: Jesus died today so you wouldn’t lose money. [+13] u/E39_CBX: My portfolio made the ultimate sacrifice for Israel 🙏 [+12] u/Normal-Election7707: Why bank branches open but market closed? That some bull. [+11] u/Few-Frosting-4213: I am beginning to suspect that proclaiming victory over and over won't actually turn it into reality... [+11] u/Initial_Ad_9250: JP Morgan promised to give me $3000 as bonus when I deposit $500k to one of their private client checking account . What a great deal mayne(better than my ytd tbh), gonna invest that 3k in 0DTEs till it becomes 500k and repeat. Jaime Dimon , you silly goose [+10] u/colinr813: The bundles of sticks at Reddit need to fix their mod bots. Alt got permabanned over nothing. [+10] u/SomePolack: Here’s the thing - we said we’d do that anyways [+9] u/nigofe: Oil $130 next week. Time to stop the "wAr iS oVeR" copium. War aint ending anytime soon, and US aint winning Jack shit lmao [+9] u/erx988: stocks are not impressed by the jobs reports, they are completely still, never seen before phenomenon. [+9] u/Haunting_Ad_6021: Reminder, when in Zoom meetings, drink your alcohol out of a regular coffee cup and blow on it like it's hot before taking a swig [+9] u/VincenteThomp: They closed the strait. They closed the market. They closed party city. What do we even have left? [+8] u/doctorqaz: SpaceX wants 2 trillion valuation. Almost same size with AMZN lmaoooo [+8] u/Fast-Steak-7730: Jobs numbers too high, rate hike inbound [+8] u/Blackhawk149: Market better open its 30 minutes late [+8] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: Iran shoots down 1 F35 and we are all freaking out. Yo war is over remember [+8] u/justanaveragejoe520: Well 🥭 has got 3 days of the market being closed to tide things over with a we are winning speech on Monday. So let’s see how crazy he goes these next few days [+8] u/_thispageexists: Yikes a plane got shot down [+8] u/Feedthemcake: almost held over the weekend. *yikes.* [+8] u/HaveTwoBananas: So they cook the books to make employment seem better than it is to make the fed stay higher for longer especially with concerns over inflation from oil? [+8] u/Visua1Mod: You don’t have any more money to bet. [+8] u/rbraalih: You must have felt like a real man typing that 💪 [+7] u/aqjingson: Guys I think the war is in a truce the markets aren’t moving.. [+7] u/WonUpH: China going to make trillions rebuilding iran [+7] u/Such-Ice1325: Buckle up boys. Ber market is back. Bulls got flushed in hormuz [+7] u/TROLOLOLBOT: Sasha grey was found on Craigslist. Imagine the possibilities [+7] u/GrillAndChill420: The 2026 version of black hawk down: hawk thua [+6] u/Sea-Refrigerator7919: It’s closed and I’m still losing money [+6] u/1111thatsfiveones: I bought Monday puts at 10am Thursday. I was pretty nervous at close yesterday. Now I think I’ll actually print. [+6] u/confused_teabagger: Serious DD big brain answers only. How is RDDT supposed value proposition of selling everyone's info to train LLMS supposed to work when it is 90% llms now? [+6] u/aniote: Friday means I can sit at my 9 to 5 and trade stocks and get paid to lose money and no one will care or notice [+6] u/AGreasyPorkSandwich: Substitute teacher day. I think they'll wheel the cart in with the TV any minute now. Taking bets on what movie we're watching? Or maybe it'll be Magic School Bus or some shit [+6] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: That pilot that got capture is fucked. As 🥭 once said “I like the ones that don’t get captured.” [+6] u/Crazy_Donkies: I Schwab down today? They keep telling me the market is closed for Good Friday, but I'm not religious. Need to put in a massive buy order; it's so flat today it has to break out one-direction soon. [+5] u/TotalInstruction: Y’all got some of that options trading? *stratch scratch* [+5] u/PM_me_a_nip: Download the yahoo finance app at watch the people who create content for this site eat an insane amount of mushrooms and type Complete fiction  “The market opens lower on fears of the straight closing and the war stopping”  “The market rockets to the moon on news that the straight may possibly perhaps could potentially maybe might be not closed as hard as previously thought” God, I love capitalism [+5] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: Anyone playing HOOD calls ? [+5] u/Either-Cook7081: How are people lauding these job numbers with the pattern of big revisions? The real numbers will come out next month for this month. [+5] u/warm-regard: Mr. Murket please wake up [+5] u/Cav829: Maybe, I dunno, there's a lesson in every business, government, and organization of any type that firing all the experienced people who know what they're doing tends to end badly. [+5] u/MrBlueEyedFox: Oh look the economy is strong, Raises rates. Oh wow. The numbers were a lie and now we're super fuk *insert jpow meme face* [+5] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: woke up today to the stock market being closed, just as i predicted 🤌🏻 [+5] u/bklotrgoblet: Cuckerberg eats corn the long way [+5] u/astromouse2024: Bol case is a massive amount of revenue from ads and the large amount of people using it The ber case is they banned Paul McCartney, and that overshadows the bol case [+5] u/ihopethisworksfornow: Rockets have not existed for 100+ years Many businesses have made large sums of money with rocket technology [+5] u/Careful_Response4694: More of a white swan if it's an event half the market participants are hedged against. [+5] u/moviekid214: If they deploy troops to the ground of Iran does that count as troops on the ground [+5] u/Pernicious_Pearl: nietzche would be labelled millennial cringe if he was alive today [+25] u/GoZukkYourself: Do you have a dial up modem? [+23] u/DisaffectedLShaw: Thanks to Iran air defence, we now have at least one pair of boots on the ground on Iran!!! [+20] u/Flat-Focus7966: "Bulls/Bears in shambles" "I told you this will happen" "This doesn't make any sense" "I am done"(comes back the next morning) 90% of comments in this sub [+19] u/carrollart: Why is a downed USA jet in Iran big news we’re literally invading their country and they are fighting back . Lol okay [+19] u/greyenlightenment: if you declare war, the enemy is allowed to fight back. who knew [+17] u/kojima_you_genius: I mean we had to, they were eating the dogs they were eating the cats. Global economy was a price we had to pay [+17] u/Chipotlemane: F-15E is a two seater guys four boots on the ground not two [+17] u/yeahyoubored: Holy gas prices FUCK 5.50$ in Miami [+16] u/Time_Molasses_1581: Day 1 of the 3 day weekend and we already will have boots on the ground. God bless the bulls [+15] u/Haunting-Window-5125: Its crazy how regarded the admin is. Everything they do pretty much ensures no rate cuts, oil crisis, tarrifs, cooked jobs numbers, not releasing data lol [+15] u/NefariousnessDry5100: Boots are actually on the ground chat [+15] u/VariousScenes: Why is Iran so rude? Its just a military operation... [+14] u/WSB-mods-are-: This is so stupid why are sending these no name pilots to fight in Iran? Tom Cruise could've wrapped this shit up with a bow a week ago. [+14] u/SergeantThreat: Hegseth actually believes four boots on the ground is enough to win the war [+13] u/Illustrious_Pair2990: If you look at stock tickers while the market is closed... You might be a gambling addict [+13] u/IntrepidToday0: Never forget Pam Bondi calling the market top [+13] u/ADynes: The bot isn't religious. [+12] u/Boheed: Guys the pilots are shot down inside Iran, who flies F14 Tomcats. They could steal one. This is the plot to Top Gun 2. We're living it. [+12] u/Cullen8228: Downward revisions inbound [+12] u/NewlyOld31: Holy shit. Apparently search helicopter was hit now too. Sorry for posting about the war but I'm banned from those places for saying I don't want to die for Israel lol [+11] u/Cat_From_Jupiter: Very believable jobs report.... 😂 [+11] u/Mettabreaks: Why do you still care about the Epstein files? I don't know why you're laughing. The Down Jones is now $46000 and I got fired! [+11] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: Damn they actually shot an F15 down [+11] u/ModeForJoe: Bondi basically committed professional seppuku the moment the word "dow" left her milfy lying lips... she jinxed the whole damn thing. [+11] u/ArchegosCapitalCEO: Iran downed a US jet? We’re so cooked [+11] u/YouKnown999: Markets going down faster than that fighter jet on Monday. [+11] u/Nwah2112: Bears hoping a US pilot has been captured by the Iranians so that their puts make them $270. [+11] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: Can’t be that confident if they just shot down an f15 [+10] u/Complex-Note-5274: What are the chances of rescue operations roll into full boots on the ground lol [+10] u/FomoLottoSandman: iran backed news media is saying they downed a helicopter looking for the pilots, idk if that’s true. but shit getting worse [+10] u/UnivalveX: I too am ready to die for Israel, just as my portfolio has [+10] u/Internal_Field5970: I’m not actually retarded, I just pretend 24/7 [+10] u/Soossaaaa: guys my robinhood is broken nothing is moving [+10] u/abroadbroadband: Mannnnnn I know the market is closed and I still checked Fool me once, shame on you Fool me... I can't get fooled again [+10] u/wutangthermos: man blowing up and seizing ships thinks freedom of navigation is now important [+9] u/jumpingjazzo: pinned at 655, they can't keep this propped up all day can they? [+9] u/Extreme_Green_1708: Remember - you have more time to work today because you aren’t gambling. Don’t work more, your boss will start expecting that amount of work everyday 🤣 [+9] u/Namtabmal: At this point China invading Taiwan would be one slight red day followed by week of green. [+9] u/Street-Badger: SpaceX IPO will be the final death knell for this unstoppable market IMO.  Now back to eating glue from the bottle [+9] u/A55BAG: Both Iran and US trying to sink and pump SP500 and oil futures is new kind of economic warfare. [+9] u/slothropdroptop: Fighting on the ground in Iran between rescue forces and Iranians. So it begins. [+8] u/RampagingDeer: Re: jobs report, previous month was very low due to huge healthcare strike, this month was very high due to that strike ending. The more you know. [+8] u/ajr901: U.S. job growth for February revised sharply lower — from -92,000 to -133,000 jobs, marking the largest monthly job loss since December 2020. How’s the market going to react Monday morning [+8] u/Good_Lingonberry6626: Anyone else in here think these jobs numbers are fake as fuck? Come on, a drop in unemployment. Seriously… [+8] u/Excellent_Tourist633: There is a pretty good movie on this scenario. It won two Oscars [+8] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: Iran strike a rescue helicopter. Bro if my puts don't print. How can he now not respond harder when they touch they shinny flying equipment [+8] u/CEOofBeanz: Market closed, I guess this is how it feels to run out of alcohol as an alcoholic [+8] u/Remarkable_Owl: Can’t just cut and run if there are American POWs. [+8] u/Brain-Silent: US aircraft was shot down. “Deescalation” totally [+8] u/slinkywheel: the USA isn't a theocratic hellhole? [+8] u/Equivalent-Quail138: Thanks for breaking the news [+8] u/DiceKnight: Didn't the helicopters they sent out get turned away by air defenses? [+7] u/Jynx91: Imagine buying puts at the bottom on Monday. 😅 [+7] u/GoZukkYourself: How am I supposed to get any work done while the market is closed? This should be illegal. [+7] u/Worried_Quarter469: ““Worst hit is consumer-facing service sectors where, barring the pandemic lockdowns, the downturn reported in March was among the steepest recorded since data were first available in 2009,” Chris Williamson, chief business economist at S&P Global Market Intelligence, said in a statement. ” [+7] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: What a fucking disaster class [+7] u/tombrady011235: Very low volume on SPY today. It's like it's not moving at all [+7] u/Worth-Walk6265: If I were the USG I simply wouldn't put an alcoholic psychopath failed national guard major in charge of the largest bureaucracy in the history of the world. [+7] u/Sandman_Is_Back: all this incident with the down pilots gonna end up on X, 🥭 gonna end up sending everyone. [+7] u/Ancient_Let7878: Casino would be popping off today! And by popping off I mean doing nothing [+7] u/tnecniv2021: Any survivors of downed aircraft better hope they don’t survive. I’ve heard about what they do to their own people and let’s just say they get very creative. [+7] u/Blyrone__Blashinton: Iran would down a jet right after that useless speech [+7] u/FervexHublot: Iran shot down a U.S helicopter that was searching for the missing pilot of the F15 Source : Aljazeera [+6] u/Sandman_Is_Back: how ironic it is for a 3 day weekend and for this shit pop off when the market is closed is actually crazy. [+6] u/broke_person: Some of you don't have a life outside of losing money gambling and it shows [+6] u/arbitraryBlue: Fuck this good Friday shit, if i don't get paid OT at work keep the market open [+6] u/JPenniman: Is the market closed? Why it not moving [+6] u/diefy7321: I guess eyeran did go back to the Stone Age holding Americans captive. Huh. Seen this movie before lmfao [+6] u/Educational-Cat-2553: dicks out for whore moose [+6] u/HonestPotential1936: If it’s Owen Wilson in the jet he will be fine [+6] u/NefariousnessDry5100: Might as well buy spy puts to 5900 [+6] u/tomis_24: I am not losing money today! Good Friday. [+6] u/greyenlightenment: now comes the long weekend doomposting [+6] u/UnivalveX: this weekend's about to be a shitshow which should mean deep red futes Monday AM. luckily we're gonna get another "war is almost over" tweet or "unconfirmed report" of Iran surrendering right before open [+6] u/Worried_Quarter469: Oil is going to be crazy Monday [+6] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: fuck too many of you are holding puts for Monday. there is now 0 chance they print. i am one of you ..... [+6] u/Haunting-Window-5125: The biggest risk for us bears is that the market remains irrational longer than we remain solvent. So far the market is winning against me lol [+6] u/Redditing-Dutchman: Christ's face seen in billowing black smoke after another oil facility has been hit. [+5] u/sharkenleo: Crazy how flat the market is today. [+5] u/abroadbroadband: I said What's cooler than being cool? # Ice 🅱️old 😳😳😳😳😳 [+5] u/LakeShowForLife24: I used to enjoy holidays, now I just want the casino open [+5] u/FrostingOk2692: I enjoy watching the market not move on a closed day. I can pretend I have time stopping powers. [+5] u/GoZukkYourself: Put the fres in your own damn bag. I'm not in the mood https://preview.redd.it/dxl29bzvozsg1.jpeg?width=638&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=76aa8a85498225e3b52b7fdb97531e6a6b3fa36a [+5] u/UnivalveX: is Iran not attempting to shoot down the rescue jets/helicopters? [+5] u/LasyKuuga: Fun fact the “Dow is over 50000” was actually a selling signal [+5] u/solidsneeze: pam bondi onlyfans wen? [+5] u/BarbellPadawan: Glad I didn’t hold long positions over the weekend [+5] u/zuziannka: So are we dumping on Monday I am holding calls? [+5] u/Soffatjockis: What's the difference between US and North Korea? It's the same picture. [+5] u/strombollimaker545: How many job reports can they lie about and then retroactively change to an even lower number before its labled fraud [+5] u/Fit-Doubt4251: Good day to be an astronaut [+5] u/sandygws: >Iranian television has also announced that they are offering 10 billion tomans (**$64,102**) for anyone who can find the pilots [+5] u/__nameless____: 🥭 shits all over the middle east and the rest of the world is supposed to clean it up lmao [+5] u/TheOriginalBushToad: As regarded as this market is, we'll probably drill on Monday.... [+5] u/Thotmas01: Least we can still look at crude oil prices and scream bear or bull on the minute candles. [+5] u/f0xinaround: Coming soon to a theatre near you. Iran man. But it's about the US pilot and not Robert downey jr. [+5] u/wtfkeyhole2pro: Because they are banned [+5] u/Unh0lyCatf1sh: we all know what is actually in the files, we just need someone to do something about it [+24] u/GuwopGOAT: 🥭 can’t seem to hire any qualified staff, your firing all your own hires a year in. How does he consistently hire the most corrupt, incompetent people in the world. Jpow needs to change all the passwords at the fed reserve on his way out lol. [+22] u/Eddyrancid: This place doesn't always get the news right, but goddamn does it get news fast [+18] u/ShittyUsernane1222: 🥭 is the kind of guy who fumbles an war despite overwhelming weapons, intelligence, logistics supremacy. [+17] u/JaraxxusPS4: This pilot situation is awful. All of this entirely preventable [+17] u/Fast-Reply6409: BREAKING: US CPI, now measured solely on a basket of Arizona Iced Teas, comes in showing modest inflation [+16] u/ajibtunes: Israel is not involved in U.S. rescue operations for pilots in Iran. Source: N12 [+16] u/Competitive_Ride: Do the pilots wear boots? [+16] u/ajibtunes: Pete Hegseth fires two more generals, David Hodne and William Green Jr., alongside Army Chief Of Staff Randy George, per Reuters. [+15] u/PeeOnDusk: What’s the number to NASA customer support? One of their idiots on Artemis II just a took a picture of me jacking off and posted it online without my consent [+15] u/Urzuck: So they hit the plane and now the rescue helicopter too lmao, "war is won" [+15] u/Sharp-Direction-6894: The jews crucified Jesus today. [+14] u/ChewbaccaIsBear: Most of you don't own a dog house and it shows [+14] u/CigInside: Kind of bored of Iran. Can we go back to yelling about trans furries [+14] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: So is this a win for boots on the ground in the poly market [+13] u/Fit-Win-536: I just woke up after sleeping for 15 hours straight since no work today. It’s criminal how much energy work takes out of you [+13] u/unwanted_hair: Good Friday precedes Apocalypse Monday [+12] u/epyonxero: Boots, wings, fuselage, turbines on the ground [+12] u/devereaux: https://preview.redd.it/a7iphsutxzsg1.jpeg?width=768&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=59e73b0c4f37ba3f5b1f6cfcd1755b6ed19a94f2 Hilarious now that economic data releases are being driven by the administration. Lots of "oh wait, things are totally great! Forget what you heard last month" [+12] u/GuwopGOAT: $100B was spent on bombs, lobster, and peptides. Meanwhile hospitals shutting down in rural areas and Veterans living under the underpass End stage capitalism looks so fun [+11] u/StraitOfHummus: I am holding a short position worth more than my house over a 3 day weekend, but I'm confident if there's one administration that can start a third world war on Easter, it's Mango's. Oh, and it's on margin. [+11] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: Good job numbers = no interest rates cuts. Indexes may price in zero cuts this year. [+11] u/CigInside: Taco for No New Wars but needs $1.5 T for defense. Makes a lot of sense [+11] u/Same_College2053: So fighter jet and rescue helecopter shot down? Completely Complete war i guess. [+11] u/Paul_Robert_: Others with a time machine: *dancing with dinos* Me with a time machine: "Hey lady, don't take your kid to the Cincinnati zoo, here's free tickets to Disneyland" [+11] u/LordWop: So we lost a fighter jet and a rescue helicopter today? [+11] u/whodey84: Mango trying to pump closed markets... [+11] u/AirportMaterial5917: Is the “deal” in the room with us [+11] u/timetopractice: I think Pam got fired because the DOW is under 50,000 [+10] u/midwestck: Iran unknowingly sealed their fate when they demonstrated to Trump that whoever controls the strait can levy taxes on foreign goods [+10] u/Blueberry_Magic: Markets bored of being down spy 680 Monday [+10] u/StraitOfHummus: The entire US population thinks war is no big deal because they grew up with a war, Vietnam for boomers, or Iraq or Afghanistan for millennials, and the economy did great during those wars, right? Well those countries didn't border a waterway that if disrupted, could cause mass shortages and impact more than just the countries in the war. Those countries also were not as large as Iran which is just under 100 million. The amount of resources a country that size has, even if not up to par with the US means the US will have to commit significant resources and manpower, and that won't be quick. [+10] u/Mediocre_Pangolin572: One Crew member found yes!!!!!!! Iran is incompetent. [+10] u/Zeppu: The money for stocks and internet magic coins is being spent on filling up the car's tank. [+10] u/ajibtunes: BREAKING: Iranian media is reporting that a US helicopter, on a search mission for the jet reportedly shot down in Iran, was also hit by a projectile. [+10] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: The commenter above me is poor [+10] u/Willing_Spring2736: Something has definitely shifted. The retards "truths" arent getting as much engagement as before (you can look in the history). Even the right wing grifters and scumbags in twitter are getting less views and interactions. People forget that America loves criminals and grifters as long as you dont fuck with their bottom line. No one cares about any bullshit until it starts impacting your own money. Reality hitting your bank account is a beautiful thing to behold indeed. [+10] u/Creative-Package6213: Search and rescue for a downed F-15 pilot. [+10] u/Fast-Reply6409: Your GFs OF account is pretty decent [+9] u/therealcoon: The regards who bought calls yesterday must be feeling real fucking dumb now. [+9] u/CJKayak: The neat thing about Easter is no matter how bad he fucks things up this weekend, the market can't crash until Monday. [+9] u/bearhunter429: #We really live in idiocracy LMAO🤌 [+9] u/shmito17: A lot of so-called economists are saying that we hit a market bottom already; with so much confidence might I add. [+8] u/GuwopGOAT: Between the tariffs and this oil fiasco, a PS5 gonna be like $3000 holiday time lmao [+8] u/unhappyreach_: The update post of the guy saying he's homeless with his cats after burning 250k on options is crazy. Options are to take a small amount of money and flip it into a larger amount of money, and then lose it all again. Its about the dance and the journey. smh, some people don't get it [+8] u/Fast-Reply6409: Boomers will buy stocks on Monday to show their patriotic support for America. SPY up 3% after futures down 4% overnight [+8] u/madhewprague: This war is going to be bigger that Vietnam. Im 100% sure whole stock market will drop by 50-60% when USA finally invades Iran. [+8] u/NynNyxNyx: " IT WOULD BE A “GUSHER” FOR THE WORLD??? " Ohhhh awww oh fuck I just fucking threw up everywhere, its in my shoes. [+8] u/AMCorBUST2021: Just me or does it feel like one side is working state craft and the other is playing world of Warcraft? [+8] u/nightlytwoisms: What do you mean? You didn’t run. He ran. [+7] u/Batukhan_cpn: Imagine buying stocks at this point [+7] u/mikeytho1: They love to talk about how the poors don't want to work and yet these rich wall street fucks close the casino while the rest of us still have to go to work! SMH! [+7] u/Capt_Chickenpox: So in the past 6 years we've had a pandemic, tarrifs and 2 'superpowers' failing to overtake a country. Fun [+7] u/Evander85: Reclaimed all of my 2025 losses already. Now it’s time to get my 2024 losses back! [+7] u/RoyalFail6: So much winning and it ain’t stopping anytime soon 🤩 [+7] u/bigmeatbag: "We gonna fuck that whoremuz in her tight little strait and make an oily gusher". - Donnie [+7] u/2007endeavor: 2028, Hollywood will make a movie about the two pilots shot down in Iran, portray them as heroes. LOL. [+7] u/Phandomtrigger: I think it's dumb that stocks are closed on Good Friday, doubt a single stock monkey follows god lmao [+7] u/NotRobotNFL: How many planes was shot down and how many pilots are missing? [+7] u/Open_Waltz6902: Iran allowed a French tanker through the strait. Just wait until other countries are allowed through the strait with diplomacy instead of violence. [+7] u/NoFuckingValue: I've never seen SPY trade as flat as it's been today. Literally so shocked I can't look away from the ticker. Absolutely nothing [+7] u/_Netgirth: Mangos twitter is such a fever dream, going from saying Bruce Springsteen looks like a dried up prune, to floating war plans to see how many likes they get [+7] u/yyn1999: Releasing Data while Market is closed should be ILLEGAL [+7] u/Butter_Ball22: I miss Pepe, Clifford and Shrek emoji’s. You fucked up Mods. [+7] u/AdventurousFinish681: shrodingers tweet - market stays in super position until it gets posted [+7] u/StraitOfHummus: Get a load of this dude victim shaming the jet. [+7] u/NynNyxNyx: Seems pretty good for Iran? [+6] u/Candid_Payment_4094: F15 pilot situation good or bad for the economy? [+6] u/Ahthongkorkor: the admin gotta be trolling atp, didnt they want rate cuts? isnt incredible job numbers counterproductive? 😂 [+6] u/rdblaw: Paid a guy $900 + materials to do some plumbing and some other stuff. Now I’m spending my weekend ripping out everything he did and redoing it. I fucking hate this shit. They want to charge retarded prices when they don’t know basics [+6] u/Rich-Badger-7601: do u think they'll make the pilots kiss [+6] u/mclovin1696: I wanna blow a thousand dollars on 0dte options but I’m too pussy [+6] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: Dr Pepper creamy coconut is coming back bitches. I finally have a reason to live. [+6] u/GuwopGOAT: Invest in the Petro-Yen while it’s cheap lol [+6] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: Is this going to be another Behind enemy lines Part 2? The plot follows Lieutenant Chris Burnett, an American naval flight officer who is shot down over Bosnia. (who is being trailed by the Serbs) [+6] u/BiblicalAss: War in Iran will send SPY to all time highs. [+6] u/Sandvicheater: I have a huge hunger for shorting the SpaceX IPO but I know better than to run against regarded meme lord Musk and his illogical meme stock powers. [+6] u/Rich-Badger-7601: Anyone who thinks the other Gulf states are gonna jump in and dogpile Iran while they're down is delusional because the last fucking thing any Gulf nation wants is a tidal wave of Iranian refugees pouring into their country from every direction [+6] u/Equivalent-Coat-7605: Might actually buy long dated spacex puts when it is finally traded publicly [+6] u/No-Sympathy-686: Jesus is risen. Then he took one look at this shit and yeeted himself back to heaven. Fin~ [+6] u/Bright_Knee_2527: US Iran War F15 Fighter Jet: US Forces Have Rescued 1 of 2 Crew Members Of Downed Warplane In Iran: AFP [+6] u/pineapplekiwipen: good to know the richest man in the world spends his almost-weekend the same way i spend mine, shitposting and generating ai tits [+5] u/Mikos_Enduro: LMAO my hometown hero got busted by the DOJ for insider calls on PetIQ [+5] u/Nice-Truck8806: we're about to see an insane AI video propaganda war [+5] u/Overall-Web-5435: Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright Alright alright [+5] u/Anonymustafar: Honestly at this point I think we gotta lean into this evil superpower trope a lil bit. Feels whimsical [+5] u/bigmeatbag: Have they checked to see if Donnie is getting enough oxygen to his brain? [+5] u/goofy-boots: fk this, having a miller lite at the range [+5] u/TinyDelegation: this is the best subreddit on this website. nothing but memes and money making(well some make money) [+5] u/habfranco: Wait I didn’t know the futes were futing today [+5] u/rpthrowah: Rimjobs are the new blowjobs [+5] u/MeYouThemEveryone: All this news is tempting me to watch Behind Enemy Lines and Black Hawk Down to my watch list for this weekend [+5] u/ShittyUsernane1222: puts on BA F-15 got shot down by Iran [+5] u/RedditHatesDiversity: Next week: markets menstrual red [+5] u/Few_Egg3567: 🥭 supporters believe God communicates directly with him. [+5] u/Bxdwfl: Shit's gonna be dropping off come Monday open 😭 [+5] u/Castopliani: If only Iran wasn't a theocratic hellhole I could root for them here [+5] u/BillyShears2015: Market gonna inverse Jesus on Monday [+5] u/XXX_KimJongUn_XXX: When is the ground invasion happening? Maybe tonight? Maybe tomorrow? Next friday or the friday after that? [+5] u/ArkAngelEV: No loitering in front of the casino. [+5] u/angrybubblez: This market is such bullshit! Theta is fucking us again! [+5] u/No_Run3357: Market closed, having to deal with child. Where is the Good in this Friday, Jesus? Hurry out of your cave and open the market with you. [+5] u/Impressive-Mud-3362: Employers wondering why retards are so productive today [+5] u/Thebaxxxx: When i was a young teen the thought of being in a big battle as a soldier was so exciting [+5] u/Kind_Initiative_7567: Must be a 2 KBPS dial up connection lol [+5] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: Somehow I bet I still lose money today [+5] u/I-STATE-FACTS: Inflation will do that for you [+5] u/kinkyhentai69: Jesus died for your sins, you're gonna die for 🥭's sins [+5] u/moazzam0: Good jobs report is gonna pump oil more than stocks. [+5] u/Bichael-Murry: ENRON SO SILENT ABOUT THE WAR... WOW CONCERNED [+5] u/AdventurousFinish681: Every woman on hinge says shes into hiking, there must be something to it [+5] u/Local_0DTE_Dealer: Casino’s closed but the windows still taste the same [+24] u/knoqd_: > Iran has officially told mediators it isn't willing to meet US officials in Islamabad in the coming days, and that US demands are unacceptable - WSJ Believe it or not SPY +2% on Monday [+20] u/AdCritical5383: We don’t need to tax billionaires more. We need to tax loans against liquid assets like publicly traded stonks (how billionaires operate). [+17] u/Western-Charity-2155: Breaking News: Sean Duffy has been fired and T.rump intends to appoint Tiger Woods as the new Secretary of Transportation. [+14] u/sailortyx56: Iran has officially told mediators it isn't willing to meet US officials in Islamabad in the coming days, and that US demands are unacceptable The current round of efforts by regional countries led by Pakistan to reach a cease-fire between the US and Iran has reached a dead end - WSJ [Link](https://www.wsj.com/livecoverage/iran-war-news-2026/card/mediators-latest-efforts-to-reach-cease-fire-hit-dead-end-g4ee6afUWAumzrGuZ1N7?mod=Searchresults&pos=2&page=1) [+14] u/cryptopolymath: Iran should just place a suitcase in the desert marked Uranium and call in Seal Team 6. War would be over by Monday, win win for everybody [+14] u/moosewithamuffin: I give 80% of my money to Charity, and when she's not working I give it to Destiny [+14] u/TreeofLibertyFood: wtf are you guys doing here on a trading holiday?! Oh [+13] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Jesus would want us to be able to trade today. This is a travesty in his name [+13] u/RickLeeTaker: I've decided shitposting on WSB on a market holiday is not as much fun as hiding my phone under my desk and hitting buy and sell when I'm at work. [+13] u/Mission_Ad_6234: I bought puts right before the green dildo yesterday. 🙏 [+12] u/probablyuntrue: Starting to think this guy doesn’t know what he’s doing in the Middle East [+12] u/Oldschoolhype2: WSJ reporting talks in Pakistan reached a dead end. [+12] u/iTouchStuff: hegseth taking out more generals in US than iran lmaoooo [+11] u/Spy300: Iran can shoot down F15s and F35s They've already won. US loses this war. [+11] u/A10cc: All fruit salad man had to do was shut the fuck up and not even have a press conference and the bullish tinge on the market would have been in tact. Now it's 50/50. [+11] u/Mission_Ad_6234: Should I trade at my work on Monday and lose my portfolio and get mad at my coworkers? [+10] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: For all the jokes and harsh comments about the operation and the comments about iranian capability: Imagine being taken down in the middle of a hostile country, and the enemy still can't get to you and you get extracted safely. I mean... orangoman or not, that is impressive military capability. [+9] u/Itchy_Election_5327: y'all ready for the circuit breaker on monday? xd [+9] u/alexbananas: Can’t believe clavicular died [+9] u/asetniop: Does anyone else feel like Jesus kind of padded his stats with this whole "three days" business? He died on the afternoon of Good Friday and was out and about on Sunday morning; that's not even a full 48 hours. [+9] u/AdCritical5383: TSLA over $75 is a war crime. 🤡 [+9] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: The daily thread is a party that never ends [+9] u/PhysInstrumentalist: Iran just denied a cease fire, whats Trump going to say now? [+8] u/thefrozen_one: I bought poots before market closed, totally 100% data driven gamble [+8] u/LarsTarkas: Too many bers and too many bols. Theta is the play [+8] u/GoogleKushforLunch: I’m hearing a lot of bad news [+8] u/Candid_Analyst_9040: A little unclear as to why bols think things will improve? Like, are we watching the same 🥭 speak? Dude has lost the fucking plot. [+8] u/A10cc: Life has no meaning when the casino is closed. [+8] u/ThinkingOfTheOldDays: Spy is uninvestable 😔 [+8] u/sailortyx56: Went outside to touch grass. Verdict: Overrated [+8] u/A10cc: Big booty latinas will bring world peace. [+7] u/moosewithamuffin: SPY flat until the heat-death of the universe [+7] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: I have a little badge now that’s neat [+7] u/Fhyzikz: I'm expecting some truly wild Truths and war actions this weekend. They're gonna let their freak flags fly [+7] u/Leibnizinventedittoo: “Good” Friday. How can it be good if I can’t trade [+7] u/horseisahorse: >[](https://www.financialjuice.com/#)The current round of efforts by regional countries led by Pakistan to reach a cease-fire between the US and Iran has reached a dead end - WSJ. >13:13 Apr 03 [+7] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: At least you didn’t lose half your port today [+7] u/Mission_Ad_6234: I guess the war is priced in Back to ATH next week guys. [+7] u/Mission_Ad_6234: Be honest, how many of yall are actually making consistent money doing options. Or are we all just chasing our losses. [+6] u/whisperingeye99: Donald “Jerome “ Trump [+6] u/Mission_Ad_6234: Ever since my break up I became a degen [+6] u/A10cc: Reddit thought they got rid of me, but like a cockroach, I arise from the ashes. [+6] u/AdCritical5383: “Goddamnit mom I keep telling you…it’s not gambling, it’s trading in **prediction markets**.” -Half the sub [+6] u/kingkex22: been doing futures... its different to say the least, lfmao [+6] u/sxiom: I just wanna say **THANK YOU** [+6] u/emporium4648: Jenzen-Jones said the images do not prove the aircraft was shot down, only that it crashed. You Yankees love cope huh? [+6] u/dqdg: With Spam Blondie gone, can we go back to 50,000? [+6] u/Kabrosif: I was promised boots on the ground this weekend. :pokes stick: “cmon do an invasion” [+5] u/dreamer_Neet: OPEN THE CASINOOOOOOO [+5] u/A10cc: Imagine thinking last week's price action wasn't a dead cat bounce LOL. [+5] u/Significant_Speed854: Yeah, I've been arrested multiple times. Never tried or even said I'm calling the president, though. [+5] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: How much do you think it will cost by the time it’s accessible? [+5] u/Valkorion335786: Touched grass Up 2.7% [+5] u/NaiveMercury: I am done with this shitty job, I am opening my own startup Who is down to invest in my IPO? I promise I will say AI at least 3 times in a row on the earnings call 🤞 [+5] u/Ridiculous_Society: Too many bulls in here: gap down Monday! [+5] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: If you buy SpaceX ipo you are literally dumb af. They have like 40 billion in govt contracts and starlink makes like 10 billion a year. [+5] u/Imaginary-Window-251: For all of you considering paper trading: Michael Scott would like a word [+5] u/svpa3991: Those added jobs must be all in military cause wtf lmao [+5] u/Mean_Bumblebee1945: When is weekend tech opening? I am refreshing the page every 5minutes. It will be my only activity over this weekend. [+5] u/djai50: PR nightmare if jet crew were taken dead or live by Iran and use it as negotiations. [+5] u/TheRealArmament: Where my HOOD and MSFT bagholders at [+5] u/CardiologistIll7271: fuck deloitte the recruiter deadass just told me $65k wtf [+5] u/A10cc: Technology is amazing. I can continue shitposting from my phone while on the toilet. [+5] u/DrummerCompetitive20: Recession delayed another 6 months for the 13th time lol [+5] u/Zimoula: Mango sunday at 5 pm: “ Iran was never my friend! The stock market is way higher than i thought it’d be! “ [+5] u/Top-Acadia-1936: Am I still banned here? [+17] u/Dull-Buy-2776: Low key blame the Iran War on Maduro only taking 2 hours to get captured. [+16] u/Due-Dirt-8428: Wow they announced that negotiations are stalling out at the start of a very long weekend, what are the odds. [+15] u/OkResponsibility2470: Iran rejected ceasefire Monday 8AM 🥭: talks going well! SPY +3% [+14] u/JohanLiebert92: that one pilot is the excuse 🥭 needs to send ground troops in [+12] u/Notable_Naps: Once you experience the adrenaline rush of trading, normal day to day stuff is pretty damn boring. [+12] u/FabulousLanguage6216: That Ghalibaf guy knows how to troll 👿: “After defeating Iran 37 times in a row, this brilliant no-strategy war they started has now been downgraded from “regime change” to “Hey! Can anyone find our pilots? Please?🥺” Wow. What incredible progress. Absolute geniuses.” [+12] u/CaponeBK: I must be getting old… just found out my dry cleaners are closing and I’m devastated. [+11] u/mrmagootoyou2: Was pretty upset about my spy puts, but then I remember I could be hiding in a bush somewhere in Iran while everyone and their kids are looking for me [+11] u/Tropicalfisher: Taking over the world by literally doing nothing [+10] u/Academic_Lock_1699: Boots on the ground via ejection seats, not what they planned [+10] u/Randomname1157: I'm looking forward to Monday. If spy pumped that much on oil being up 11% imagine how much spy is going to pump if oil is up 20% on Monday [+9] u/OkAlternative7705: Can we crash the economy so at least others are unemployed with me. [+8] u/OkAlternative7705: Burn this thing down [+8] u/scm66: I ate a whole box of Triscuits and now I'm shitting pure fiber. [+8] u/Eduardusthegreat: I hope the market is down 1% Monday morning. I need a break. Tuesday’s afterwards it can go to the moon [+8] u/GreatRegard: [Iran unwilling to talk to U.S., citing 'unacceptable' conditions, Pakistani mediators reported saying](https://www.i24news.tv/en/news/international/artc-iran-unwilling-to-talk-to-u-s-citing-unacceptable-conditions-pakistani-mediators-reported-saying) [+8] u/No-Relationship8261: Used up boots -> more boots orders -> Nike calls printing? Ez [+8] u/jayxmor: 🔴 Iran has rejected a US proposal for a 48-hour ceasefire - Unnamed source tells semi-official Fars News Agency 😂😂😂😂 [+7] u/gamblingthrowawayyyy: Shows how fake it really is [+7] u/Jonbuh: damn the whole market is going to tank on Monday. [+7] u/WoodooRanger: Payrolls are up? No shit Sherlock when you need three jobs to feed your family. [+7] u/Due-Dirt-8428: Why couldn’t my retard super power be making money 😭 [+6] u/Icy_Jelly_315: I put on a tuxedo usually. My doctor said I was impotent so I figured I should dress impotent [+6] u/michaelis999: imagine all the relationships saved today just because market is closed [+6] u/Lemonadetrade: Damn markets closed and im still checking this place [+6] u/Notable_Naps: Get news faster here than anywhere else [+5] u/AntiqueProfessor5134: Trucks kind of piss me off with how much parking space they take, gas needs to go even higher [+5] u/yeedub: I thought they were defeated how are they still fighting [+5] u/Philthatman: Either i make money on monday or I lose bigly. Cant wait [+5] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: feeling cute, might wash down my lunch with a laxative ☺️ [+5] u/Informal-Army-4512: Casino closed today? [+5] u/StandardDot5115: oil goes $200 -> spending stops -> spy drops massively oil goes $200 -> spending stops -> fed cu ts rates -> spy pumps whichever outcome causes wsb to lose the most money will occur [+5] u/Unlikely_Proof_7772: WW3 Confirmed ➡️ SPY 📈 [+5] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: Monday is going to be so funny [+5] u/Dill4365: Should have went puts.. [+5] u/FabulousLanguage6216: So now he wants to take the oil and make a fortune 😂. He just needs a little bit of more time [+5] u/Reply_Stunning: who held calls over the weekend ? downvote me [+16] u/tandoori_taco_cat: I just need the global market to move in a way that favours my individual positions [+13] u/sytena10: Second US jet downed Bloomberg [+13] u/JernauG: Expecting boots on the ground got planes instead [+12] u/Molten-Helldiver: What a useless thread today, but I’m here anyway [+12] u/Full_Boysenberry_198: “There’s too much political talk in here” he said, as he watches the markets swing solely on politics for weeks on end. [+12] u/Jacobpapi: Oil up 10% 2 USA jets shut down USA gov asking for 48h ceasefire and Iran didnt accept Market manipulated on Thursday with stock pinned at certain prices Definitely bullish, we open green guys [+12] u/eje0100: I thought my $12k in 1dte Puts were cooked. Looks like I will be good come Monday. [+11] u/McKoijion: "2-3 weeks" > Trump Administration Live Updates: White House Seeks 40 Percent Increase in Military Spending https://www.nytimes.com/live/2026/04/03/us/trump-news [+10] u/Vort3x7689: US troops in Iran by April 30th spiking up to 81 percent on polymarket [+10] u/enlightenedfarmboy: Circuit breaker wen Wen circuit breaker Spy 700 Monday Spy 600 Monday Spy 620 Monday Spy 675 Monday Futes are rippin Futes are drilling Red in the streets Monday Grass green Monday Ber are fuk Bull are fuk Stupid bers Stupid bolls Ber really thot Bull really thot There, I just saved you from having to view the weekend thread. And when did you even say thank you? I did all that work and you're just sitting there, looking at your phone, not even wearing a suit, can you see this he's wearing sweatpants without any underwear and a worn out little t shirt that's somehow too big and too small at the same time, and he's never even said thank you one time. Well let me tell you something mister retard, you don't hold the cards. And it's about time for you to say thank you. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER [+8] u/ILoveWesternCenter: Who to root for in this war? I don’t like any of them 🫩 [+8] u/Axwe8: ####I'm literally **ALL IN** on PUTS 🤡 we are going into a long recession buckle up [+8] u/Frequent-Nature-630: So iran was four weeks away from creating a bomb for 30 years straight? That’s why we have to deal with this bs again? [+8] u/aftherith: Love that feeling when you are 99% sure you are going to get biblically wrecked at the bell on Monday but you think of wild scenarios that could maybe happen to slow your heart rate. [+8] u/WarmCan3034: imagine going to church and giving them 10%, when U can use that 10% on 0dtes... [+8] u/Jacobpapi: 🥭on truth : KEEP THE OIL, ANYONE? Is he okay? [+7] u/NotMe357: "Iran has rejected a US proposal for a 48-hour ceasefire - Unnamed source tells semi-official Fars News Agency" [+7] u/mikehoochie1234: Need qqq to open at $530 if I wanna make back everything I lost on Thursday [+7] u/McKoijion: The global stock market is like a tall Jenga tower right now. The Epstein class is doing everything possible to prop it up just long enough for the US to irreversibly put boots on the ground. [+7] u/2020isgreat: Mutiple ships appear to be on fire on the omani side of the strait of hormuz!!!! so that whole Oman bypass thing probably isn't going to work out... [+7] u/SuperNewk: How do we keep losing planes?! [+7] u/2020isgreat: oil probably will who tf knows about SPY [+7] u/2020isgreat: How many planes have been downed today holy shit [+7] u/Top-Meaning2626: [we invading?](https://x.com/i/status/2040107840359022848) [+6] u/cashflow_: I saw a quarter on the ground and bent down to pick it up without thinking. Why am I such a poor in my bones [+6] u/hiphopanonomos: Probably sideways chop for months since the MMs don't allow corrections anymore [+6] u/NewDawn101: Kid Rock is the new Attorney General [+6] u/sir_dreads: Got approved for a 20k personal loan, I just need 5x that from 0dte options and I’m out for the rest of the year [+6] u/MasterpiecePurple302: I’m down to my last $6 should I gamble it on Robinhood prediction markets? [+6] u/kudrat1: my calls will print on monday [+6] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: -2% on Monday incoming lmao [+6] u/2020isgreat: Holy shit our planes are getting smoked... [+6] u/Alarmed-Rope-9062: Who else is bummed the market is closed today? [+5] u/Personal_Row7241: Wishing you peace, hope, and endless blessings this Good Friday [+5] u/The1Insider: Nah they make it so hard to get that money out of the prediction market section [+5] u/McClintockC: **attention all pancakes** **Thank you for your attention to this batter** [+5] u/bidahtibull: Can we get Rubio's take on increased military spending vs on the people please? [+5] u/plzplzplztendies: #OPEN THE CASINO YOU COWARDS! [+5] u/Walking72: Apple Is Reportedly Buying Up “All Available” Mobile DRAM At Very High Prices To Starve Out Its Competitors [+5] u/SupramanE89: Monday is gonna be wild 🎢 [+5] u/yosark: So the jobs number, definitely fake right? We going to see some revisions of negative numbers next month? [+5] u/jda823: Holy shit, the mother load. Thank you [+5] u/Grey-59throwaway: So what time does the market open tomorrow to make up for being closed today? [+5] u/nsfwnsfwnsfw33333: Lmao bro, thats how I know to do the opposite. You're telling me anything Elmo related should be governed by logic, and it has never been since day 1. This shit will literally moon. It will overtake NVDA for the most expensive company, watch. [+5] u/IHaveInflatableShoes: Spoken like a true permabull hats off [+5] u/PristineDiscount3208: at least one of the pilots was rescued so far [+5] u/pmotiveforce: Lol what kind of an absolute fucking numpty believes those labor numbers. Seriously how fucking retarded would you have to be? [+5] u/Able-Breadfruit-5981: Maybe send something slower and less stealth like a cesna to rescue the helicopter pilots [+22] u/SearchUsual5193: "Iranian Air Defense is 100% destroyed..." The remaining 0% seem to be quite troublesome though... [+19] u/International_Bee653: BREAKING: US, CORTISOL LEVELS SPIKED BY JUST USING CAPS [+18] u/Fast_Signature7684: TRUMP SAYS DOWNING OF U.S. JET WON'T AFFECT NEGOTIATIONS WITH IRAN -NBC NEWS Bro wants the end of this war ASAP lol [+15] u/Ibpr0fin: Pentagon Pizza Index is reporting 3 spikes within 1mi. of the Pentagon. [+14] u/ViridianEight: bears currently en route to iran to capture the american pilot themselves [+12] u/jmc774: America went from being a world superpower to a 🤡 show [+12] u/Quirky_Push_2506: What the fuck does that even mean, keep the oil? [+11] u/jonneh: Fuck man shit is going sideways # > Two U.S. military helicopters involved in F-15 search and rescue efforts were struck by Iranian fire, but all service members are safe, NBC News reports [+10] u/MinoltaMiyata: More like _bad_ friday amiright [+10] u/Long_Dong_Silver6: A-10 shot down in the Epstein Strait [+10] u/WideZookeepergame775: All of the shit that’s about to happen in the next 3 days is somehow gonna cause the market to go up 3% [+9] u/WickedTwista: Everything he touches turns to shit [+9] u/FirstGenerAsian: Iran rejected a ceasefire. 2 U.S. birds down. Likely having troops on the ground already that we don’t know about. Mr. 🥭 you’ve fucked up yugely [+9] u/think_harder_plz: Imagine thinking it’s worth anything 🤣 [+8] u/vermilli21: I’m from the future in Korea, the market will see -2% on Monday [+8] u/ExplosiveDlarrhea69: Yep he's getting fired in like a month, max [+8] u/ViridianEight: BREAKING: F15 was downed with an ‘elaborate system of laser pointers’ which were pointed at the pilot and made them go aaaaaaaa and crash [+8] u/Neel_Crashkari: 10% of port in options seems rational [+7] u/mods_ban_me: 🥭 officially says we’re at war [+7] u/ViridianEight: There have definitely been way more american casualties than theyve let on, which makes me think this war is not over yet, especially now that iran is humiliating the US with the F-15 and now A-10, if they actually manage to capture a pilot then goodluck global economy bc shit gonna start going nuts [+7] u/TechnologyEven6926: Tiger Woods might be a loser fein [+7] u/NotMyMainLoLzy: Puts on calls. No seriously, recession time. [+7] u/the_mind_goblin1: damn we lost an a-10, rip BRRRRR [+6] u/Subspace13: Trump: Can we go back to Epstein files? Anyone? [+6] u/jeffdidntkillhimslf: At this rate, I think the market is going to do something on Monday [+6] u/No_Fig_7835: China ca just sit back while the US weakens itself, no reason to go now. [+6] u/Noble_Bastard: I'm 23 hours sober, and I don't like this one bit. I got the shakes, everything is a fog. I pulled out most of my hair, and no longer have finger nails. Not only all the above, but they're fucking edging us by putting out jobs data on a day the market is closed. That shit is diabolical honestly. [+5] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: The firings happened first no? [+5] u/redditdoesnotapprove: and hiring yes men never works. [+5] u/Early-Elderberry-150: USO calls are gonna print on Monday inshallah ☝️ [+5] u/ViridianEight: got banned from reddit for half a week for threatening insider traders, now im back, let me begin by saying insider traders if you are listening, i am going to… just kidding! [+5] u/Beautiful-End-4451: gonna short USO on monday if anyone wants to inverse me [+5] u/Happy-Champion1661: I make 100k daily with 0dtes, you just need to start with 1M capital [+5] u/bringkiteback: I actually just fucked up my back I can barely move [+5] u/throwawaydonaldinho: Bers are gonna be so disappointed come monday… [+5] u/UNEXPECTED_PREQUEL: Release the Einstein files! [+5] u/T1m3Wizard: I think my app is frozen. None of the tickers are changing colors [+5] u/TJMBeav: Problem bulls have is there isn't any good news even possible at the moment. Forward guidance this quarter is about all I can think of, but thats going to take weeks to filter thru. And even if the war magically ended tomorrow the pop will be faded. Only logical conclusion is we need a reset badly. And we are at the beginning of that reset. Why shorting oil is such an easy play. We were oversupplied going into the air raids. Add a recession into the equation and oil would normally be tanking and Saudi Arabia would be strong arming production cuts. Pick your index and buy puts. Throw in a bunch of lotto $USO puts long dated and relax. My target oil price is $85 (which is $20 bucks over pre war prices) and my S&P target is 5600. The pop yesterday will probably be forgotten by Monday open. Good luck and good hunting [+5] u/bluen: Now that is a fucking supply shock [+5] u/zeebee098: What the hell’s going on in Italy [+5] u/pinghing: Damn these Iranians are throwing rocks so hard at American planes their actually downing them.