▶ Full Post Text
[+87] u/Hayden97: An escalation in conflict is actually bullish for the market because it means there will be a deescalation in the future, which is very bullish
[+62] u/UnivalveX: +17% in 15 consecutive days and we can't even drop -0.2% lmao
[+54] u/PalpitationSmooth992: SPY open 708.78
SPY close 708.72
LOLOLOL
[+38] u/A_Chair_Bear: Markets gonna go up tomorrow.
If not it’s gonna go down.
Calls on puts
[+30] u/Ble_h: Bers, you were almost right today. Red is red right?
[+27] u/zestykite: ok so let me get this straight. We get tariffed on goods from liberation day. Companies raise prices on us. tariff is illegal. companies get a refund on the tariffs, we pay for the refund with tax dollars. Are we getting double charged? can i talk to someone in charge of my taxes to dispute this charge?
[+26] u/Aware_Secret_8910: last minute pump for what reason now? LMAO
[+23] u/Coley44: Market positioning for a 🌮 Tuesday when 🥭 has absolutely no leverage to force Iran out of their position. The consequences of the oil crisis when the market realises it can't be irrational forever will be pretty awful. Still not going short though.
[+23] u/menthufi: https://preview.redd.it/4piic35qkewg1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3578d81f354855e5e77f6096c40f312b0de1ee3a
All-in!
[+22] u/Gandalfthebran: Made 15 dollars today 😎
[+21] u/Runster91: Wait… Avis rental car went from $97 to $610 in 20 days? Wtf going on over there?
[+20] u/TreGet234: existential dread hitting particularly hard right now. the world is outright hostile to human life at this point. It is too hard to just afford life for a normal person. The grind required and the exhaustion it leads you into is unreal. And a house still remains a ridiculous fantasy. Dating is just the shit cherry on top.
[+19] u/bearhunter429: #Now that we got our red day out of the way, we can have 10 green days back to back LMAO🤌
[+18] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: where is the money lebowski
[+16] u/ThaddeusJP: I think we're at the point where the US could launch an ICBM at Iran and the market might only dip 1%.
[+15] u/Apfelmoes_: Buy fake meat stock on Webull. Use profits to buy Webull stock. Financial advice 👍🏻
[+15] u/zestykite: amzn invests 25B to anthropic. anthropic spends 100B to amazon. wtf is this circlular nonsense? first tariff double dipping to tax payers. AI double dipping to each other. why dont they cut to the chase and just put 1T of "investments" to each other's company and call out blowout earnings?
[+13] u/TimAppleBurner: Wait WTF no one told me I was being replaced. What am I going to do with my profile now
[+13] u/steelejt7: i will be personally opening up the straight tomorrow, using only my large muscles. 💪
[+12] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: Bankruptcy is just a phase
[+12] u/Agitated_Garbage9404: taco tuesday is tomorrow and i am bols deep in puts. gg
[+12] u/MGH1990876: CNBC covering Tim Cook's exit as CEO of Apple like its the Kennedy Assassination.
[+12] u/otimanob: Holy fuk I finally unloaded my pypl bag
[+12] u/Eddyrancid: Streak not even broken with a pullback, just a slightly red theta day
[+11] u/youarenut: ASTS ROCKET 🚀 AT MARKET CLOSE AND OVERNIGHTS
[+11] u/Return_ofthe_MacYeah: RKLB will be over $100 in 2-3 weeks
This is your only warning
[+11] u/UnivalveX: ceasefire v7 soon bro, just keep buying SPY
[+11] u/OrdinaryMix4013: TSLA modern day Enron and everyone knows it
[+10] u/ForsakenRacism: Pump at the end of stand by for tweet
[+10] u/EnginrA: Hope you bought up that sick ASTS dip this morning
[+10] u/TyroneSwoopes: Taco Tuesday on a solid foundation this shit is popping to $750 tomorrow minimum
[+10] u/AdjustDeezNutz: Lol at fake meat outperforming the market
[+10] u/YOLOdollhair: Pakistan MAY announce an extension to the ceasefire lol.
Trump tomorrow "A WHOLE CIVILIZATION WILL DIE."
[+10] u/Valkorion335786: Boomers: Kids these days are flat brained blue haired cretins with no value to society
Also Boomers: Help I've fallen
[+10] u/Czyzzle: My calls got Tim Cooked
[+10] u/Fieryhotsauce: Fake meat taught me the lesson that when WSB says something is going to zero they're wrong
[+10] u/DryBicycle5629: #MSFT WHAT A PIECE OF SHIT
[+9] u/TheKiMoChi2020: I am so sick for being poor and lost
[+9] u/Odd-Block-2998: QQQ: Lost my 13-day green streak. Feeling cute. May ATH again tomorrow to f\*ck with bears.
[+9] u/Garbage-Disposal-938: made enough today to buy 8-pack of sparkling water. tomorrow will try for a case.
[+9] u/Valkorion335786: Getting called a fat loser is a great compliment
You're losing a lot of fat
Keep up the good work
[+9] u/thefuzzhead: With today's correction SPY has priced in 3 more refineries being blown apart, 4 months of war in Iran and and the straight remaining closed indefinitely. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
[+9] u/solidsneeze: u.s. navy has seized all the bears puts
[+9] u/ForsakenRacism: LOL spy is pumping now
[+9] u/TheRealJohnOptions: Apple runs itself at this point who cares. Slap a new camera on the phone and just cash the checks
[+8] u/Valkorion335786: jfc that was brutally boring
[+8] u/kupka316: All that for a drop of blood
[+8] u/kenathen: 🤣. -0.2% for close strait. imagine re-open again.. +10%
[+8] u/Senpai_Slime: I hope you guys bought those ASTS 80$ calls like i said to
[+8] u/MajorSexer67: Bulls if we make enough shit posts and witty quick replies to bears the market actually does go up from that
[+8] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: Fuck it. Bull $420. LFG.
Better platform than shittinghood
[+8] u/deeeflooo: ASTS 82, hopefully y’all bought the dip
[+8] u/optimaltimemism: If my wife is fucking her bf while I'm trading, does that make me a swing trader?
[+8] u/wenxuan2: Bad news : barely -0.5% lol. One good news and this will blow pass 2%
[+8] u/Level_Counter3062: Been feeling incredibly undepressed, thinking about just beginning it all
[+8] u/PPCPartyEnjoyer: Of course this stupid fuck SPY pumps after market after blueballing me all day while im on Teams calls.
[+8] u/lijijil: No retards posting huge wins today huh?
Funny how you mostly see highlights on this sub
How about all the retards who bought 0dte calls today at open? Where they at
[+8] u/Ocilla: SPY -.20%
My portfolio + 1%
I love the power of autism.
[+8] u/AdCritical5383: War escalates: bullish
War escalades: bullish (but trashy)
War escapades: bullish (gay big word)
[+7] u/StevenBikes4Life: QQQ and SPY less than half daily volume. "Somebody" is letting the suckers buy...
[+7] u/bearhunter429: #Apple board asked Tim Cook what his next innovative idea is and he said "put more cameras to iPhone" and got fired on the spot LMAO🤌
[+7] u/Snoo23417: Looks like we're ready for another +1% tomorrow.
[+7] u/No-Example9229: Pump the fking market, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH!!
[+7] u/drcornwallis23: This thing is finally going to violently snap downward and I’m gonna be bled dry by then book it
[+7] u/DaBirdLawyer: Holding 10 ASTS 80c’s until moon
[+7] u/BedRiddenWizard: Anemic volume. Wonder if it'll rip or drill.
(It'll rip because 🥭 will get rid of the blockade and the ceasefire will be extended out for two more weeks)
[+7] u/BigSnow7033: All in calls! If it doesnt work - im ber forever
[+7] u/yoloswaggggggggg: Banbet spy pumpy pump AH
[+7] u/Crazy_Donkies: My TSLA puts are up 30%. Haven't made money on TSLA puts since January 2025.
[+7] u/theflash2323: 56k in RKLB shares. It's been a good couple weeks
[+7] u/octopus4488: My moves for tomorrow:
Down, Down, Back, Highpunch -> Fatality on my port
[+7] u/wenxuan2: Market just needed a red day to break the green day streak.. now it can resume being green
[+7] u/TotalInstruction: https://preview.redd.it/35l64gxfnewg1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2246afc7b7e494c48df27cebfa66dba8600bb9a8
[+7] u/jason8585: RKLB to 120
Why are you waiting to buy?
[+7] u/7fingersDeep: "Your AMZN $250 calls are now in the money"
What a great message to get after hours... please hold the green line please Daddy Jassy.
[+7] u/JonnyP0T-SmokR: Idc what needs to happen. SPY to open tomorrow @715. Thanks.
[+7] u/Elforas_Tero: Bers won. Congrats on the -0.05% day. LMAO
[+7] u/sck178: This pump will save my calls thank you magic pump faerie
[+7] u/AlpacaDream7: Time to start a new winning stretch on SPY now that we got a red day
[+7] u/PositiveToe2761: It’s like I willingly wake up to a humiliation ritual 5 times a week
[+7] u/81458145: Tomorrow is Tuesday. Tomorrow is TACOs. Tomorrow we make money
[+7] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Dang. No more Tim Apple jokes
[+7] u/vermilli21: Am I a genius? Bought calls on SPY and AAPL puts
[+7] u/random_account6721: Tim apple era is over 😢
[+7] u/DICK_STUCK_IN_COW: Bullish on AAPL Timmy did nothing and reaped all the rewards
[+7] u/jonneh: AAPL waited for me to buy calls to announce this 😭😭
[+7] u/Pete26l96: $AMZN TO THE FUCKEN MOON LOL
[+7] u/Slow-Information-847: Has anyone thought of the possibility the cease fire will roll every 2 weeks, but everyone forgot there is a strait.
[+7] u/NervousChemistry7401: Those last 10 minutes tell you everything about tomorrow.
[+7] u/Lopsided_Process5141: $1,100 away from 200k port and this day had to be gay
[+6] u/HalaMadridPapaFlo: ROFL bers in complete shambles
[+6] u/El-Klotzo: People tired of war, pumping fake meat meme stock
[+6] u/User_UnKn0wn00: ASTS WAS down -17% night, opened at -10% you didn’t buy, it closed at -4% 90 EOW?
[+6] u/awetfartruinedmylife: Go to fuck yourselves
[+6] u/UsefulInvestigator60: Gonna be the most hated rally again lol
[+6] u/poopieuser909: bears think that the guy that Tacod from nuking a country wont taco again
[+6] u/log1ck1717: I bought puts as a hedge and lost 1k, I will never be a bear again.
[+6] u/shinigami_2245: So like down, but also up
[+6] u/AcademicStandard3701: Wait apple came back and spy pumppin let’s go bols
[+6] u/bluen: Imagine sniffing sneakers like cocaine 👠🐽
[+6] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: AMZN: we fuck up our competitors, we moon
[+6] u/Mr-Bonnet: "WHY WE PUMPING WHY WE PUMPING?"
SUB FILLED WITH TWELVE YEAR OLDS
[+6] u/7fingersDeep: The fact that AMZN is moving just means that TACO will tweet some shit that will tank the entire market and fuck any chance AMZN bulls have.
[+6] u/Historical_Bother274: Is there a way to looksmaxx your penis? Asking for a friend
[+6] u/David_Norris_M: I'm so glad I did weekly and 2tde at open instead
[+6] u/Mr-Bonnet: THIS "PUMP" MEANS NOTHING UNLESS
IT HOLDS AT OPEN BY TOMORROW
[+6] u/vermilli21: Also why is AMZN pumping
[+6] u/Chiinoe: Tim Apple stepping down to become the AI. BIG IF TRUE
[+6] u/csekseni1: How the fuck is Tim Cook stepping down bullish, why is spy up
[+6] u/aquaticsardonic: 📈 = Buy a little
📉 = Buy a lot
Stonks only go up tyfyattm
[+6] u/ZealousidealSector19: Regard strength was weak today
[+6] u/Rock_or_Rol: 🥭: we’re going to make a deal soon
Latest news: JDV is chilling in DC waiting to see if Iran wants to talk or if they’re still mad about that tanker/lebanon thing while gloating to very exaggerated or false terms from the last time
👉👈 but we don’t need to talk, it’s fine. It’s just, you know.. if you want, that would be cool.
[+6] u/b-dub-d: got an Avis $CAR rental in Houston this weekend. Didn't have windshield wipers installed, calls
[+6] u/MajorSexer67: Is his name still legally Tim Apple?
[+6] u/Retaining-Wall: You know what's not bullish, kids? **Methamphetamine.**
*Meth: not even more than once or twice.*
[+6] u/Actual_Difference617: Jesus only -0.3% of respect for my boy Tim Cook?
[+6] u/hv876: Someone fat fingered and ordered Theta instead of Feta for today’s market
[+6] u/Actual_Difference617: Is TSLA a car company, taxi company, robot company, chip company, software company, AI company, energy company? They are trying to do too much and failing at everythingz
[+6] u/VisualMod: **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/ShadowMoneyLurks** bet **CAR** goes from **611.83** to **450.0** before **23-Apr-2026 04:17 PM EDT**
Their record is 1 wins and 18 losses.
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+5] u/tobrie02: Bro my port goes up 2% daily for the last 6 trading days. Let’s keep this fucking shit going baby
[+5] u/dontslambro: futures have closed 15 days in a row higher than their open.
[+5] u/AllianceOrTheHorde: On some days i get reminded just how lucky we are to be born in the most peaceful time in human history in some of the most free, advanced and powerful countries. Yeah we may complain, but imagine being born in Afghanistan or North Korea.
Anyway, that's enough seriousness. uh... Bears are ghey
[+5] u/laddie78: Last chance to get on BULL before $15
[+5] u/SxeySteve: My wife has obtained a new boyfriend (Regime Change!)
And claims by the fake WSB media that I am "under pressure" to stop losing money on my trades are NOT TRUE!!
[+5] u/SoothingWafer: Hopefully you had a good trading day and your mom sucked less cock than usual.
Though obviously both of those things are highly unlikely.
[+5] u/nferatsa: https://preview.redd.it/c0at3w3liewg1.jpeg?width=1036&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d98151fc2cfc2ce24ff18b181fe47cb83fe1307b
[+5] u/DICK_STUCK_IN_COW: Researching the nearest bridge to do a front flip off of
[+5] u/A10cc: Still net long. Still got my hedge positions. Still liquid. I don't give a fuck what happens in the markets, I'm ready.
[+5] u/Extension-Change-441: hold 708 puts expiring friday overnight or what
[+5] u/D1finalboss: Ain’t no way this shit keeps going up.
Narrator: ah yes indeed this shit did keep going up
[+5] u/NervousChemistry7401: JD gets another shot to blow it.
[+5] u/ericthedisrespectful: blaady benchod market markers are the fucking
[+5] u/Ok-Analysis4121: That 4pm SPY candle was wild
[+5] u/MajorSexer67: Congratulations preemptively to overnight call holders
[+5] u/fromthepharcyde: Glad we got Black Monday out of the way so SPY can continue its journey to 720 tomorrow
[+5] u/Razvanell95: bers ain't ready for the cuck deal tomorrow
[+5] u/jda823: You guys realize bears sell calls as well right? Sideways can still be profitable
[+5] u/Perfect_Painter_7863: Bought 40k worth of ASTS shares wish me luck
[+5] u/SuperSaiyanIR: Hopefully TACO tomorrow rather than Wednesday so I can sell on a bigger pump on Wednesday.
[+5] u/Specialist-Sun-4751: Woof that was tough. Theda killed me. I got whacked early on but recovered
[+5] u/Mr_Madrass: How come the Iranians doesn’t use the stock market when Mango is terrified of it
[+5] u/essdii-: There has been a dollar green candle or ten dollar green candle on spx the last ten minutes so many times that today I thought for sure it was going to be a red candle. 45 dollars for either a 7105 call or 6095 put. I chose put. The call 10xd in the last 4 minutes. Damnit
[+5] u/PositiveToe2761: Car puts but holy scary premiums
[+5] u/Pete26l96: i'm on vacation in Prague with family and three naked women were walking on the street with chains around their necks, with some a 70 year old man holding the chains...
shit is so fucken awkward because it's a family trip and there are like 5 kids between the ages of 10 to 15.
df is wrong with europe, people there are just actually like it's normal and walking by with no surprise
[+5] u/Rock_or_Rol: When does the MSTR dump begin? Asking for a friend
[+5] u/Jemmani22: Wait is meat actually gonna squeeze? Or is this just retail idiots?
[+5] u/ddrsdght: 2 day special military operation
[+5] u/Historical_Bother274: I think tomorrow I'm going to looksmaxx like crazy
[+5] u/svpa3991: Amazon got fk you money for everything now lmao
[+5] u/Mr-Bonnet: ITS JUST AMZN
RELAX
[+5] u/Historical_Bother274: Do you think at the end of our lives we look back at the time we wasted in the daily threads posting about bols and bers
[+5] u/KittyLover-7: AMZN really moved spy 0.15%? Dafuq
[+5] u/aftherith: Tim Apple stepping away to bang your dad.
[+5] u/Elforas_Tero: Congrats, bers, you must be very happy. You were rooting for red all weekend, and finally got it. LMAO
[+5] u/poopieuser909: its no longer Tim Apple, its John Apple
[+5] u/Crazy_Donkies: Amazon calls when it hit $197 were my second best move of the year behind adding a lot more NBIS.
[+5] u/UnivalveX: to the guy who doubted it earlier, yes we will never see a red day again
[+5] u/David_Norris_M: Really wanted to kill all the 0tde before ripping
[+5] u/Knarre30: I honestly have no idea whats going on anymore. This whole thing feels more like a scam/insider trading than ever
[+5] u/music_is_gud: What a weird day of trading
[+5] u/xINCOMESPECIALISTx: Gonna full port into fake meat. I want a Rolex!
[+5] u/wenxuan2: Insane that eventhough we printed a red day, its a bullish daily candle wirh a large wick at the bottom. This red day is technically bullish ironically
[+5] u/Dry_Fly_7265: Noooooo Tim Apple :( RIP
[+5] u/igotshrimps: Bearish on AAPL bringing in a hardware guy as next CEO
[+5] u/The_Cornwallis: All the other kids with the pumped up Calls 👟🛼
[+5] u/Actual_Difference617: Right before earnings Tim cook decided to give up CEO post. How can I trust them with my 10 shares now.
[+5] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: "ai is a BUBBLE, ai is dead"
amzn: hold my beer
[+5] u/Dbx84: AMZN you can’t see me my time is now…….
[+5] u/Retaining-Wall: Rip Tim McIntosh Apple
[+5] u/Sea_Variety_1691: John Cena new AAPL ceo?
[+5] u/jasperCrow: Amazon is kinda genuis NGL. They know everyone and their dog is talking about wanting to invest in anthropic but it’s private.
So they just buy $5b and you can buy AMZN as a proxy.
[+5] u/Humble_Explanation32: tuesday, you know what it means
[+5] u/ddrsdght: Comments with Jeffrey E name shadow banned. Pedo protector mods
[+5] u/Competitive-Boot-798: RIP Tim Apple, gone but never forgotten. who am i going to blame when my 350 0dte’s expire worthless on earnings 😔😔😔
[+5] u/BadBoyBilbo: Lucky my broker sold my 0dte 709 puts at 3:45 😬
I’m gonna argue that the market and I have demonstrated equal retardation today.
Tune in tomorrow, when I’ll lose considerably more money on the same kind of stupid puts.
[+5] u/financiallythriving: Everyone waiting for a big “crash” to buy in
Not gonna happen lil bro
[+5] u/SherbertOk2563: new ATH is guaranteed this week
[+5] u/Guest_0_: Literally nothing has changed other than the presidents adult diapers.
[+21] u/Sober_Alcoholic_: Currently at the OBGYN for a 36 week follow up and just got told my fiance needs a C section because of pre eclampsia concerns. C section is in an hour.
Of course my sons birthday is fucking 4/20 🤣
[+16] u/AgitatedJump8459: The pinnacle of greed is downvoting someone else’s joke because it made you laugh but you are jealous that it did not come from your own empty brain
[+13] u/ImLemonized: Can't wait to lose more money tomorrow
[+12] u/Middle_Heat_8985: BREAKING NEWS - Speaker of Iranian Parliment MB Ghalibaf just tweeted,
"Trump, by imposing a siege and violating the ceasefire, seeks to turn this negotiating table
— in his own imagination— into a table of surrender or to justify renewed warmongering.
We do not accept negotiations under the shadow of threats, and in the past two weeks, we have prepared to reveal new cards on the battlefield"
[+11] u/Worried_Quarter469: Tim Apple out because Donald Mango thought his name was too difficult to pronounce
[+11] u/2020isgreat: Doesn't Iran know futures are closed right now smh
[+10] u/NlNJANEER: I don’t think there are enough threads announcing Apple’s CEO change. If you guys can create a couple more, and maybe flood the daily with couple more posts, then that would be great. Thanks
[+9] u/Money_Essay7793: Tim cook will be the new ceo of NIKE
[+9] u/darth_scion: Don't let Tim Apple distract you from Jeff Bozos
[+9] u/Napster-mp3: This is the gayest market I’ve ever seen
[+9] u/Regenbooggeit: My ASTS order didn’t fill at 72.50, it dropped to 73.50. Fuck. Why did I get greedy lmao.
[+9] u/xbitxfatxstonkx: Man, a red 420. I thought we would have SPY 725 By the End of Month.
[+9] u/FrostySoftPressure: I don’t see why even bother with Hormuz, we are pumping like crazy since it’s closed, just leave it closed and we pump to 800
[+9] u/spacemoses: Lol he shared his own posts as new posts. We might be in some serious shit.
[+9] u/Andthesuch: Bought a 200 NVDA put, and 205 NVDA call on Friday at close. Sold the call at a loss today and kept to put. I'm fucking regarded.
[+9] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: Oil taking a massive dive into futures close today is not a positive sign for the doomer contingent.
[+8] u/Good_Application6245: tim cock u will be missed
[+8] u/DrummerCompetitive20: How is aapl not crashing after its CEO just bailed?? LOL
[+8] u/Consistent-Platypus3: By the way, Tim Cook is stepping down because he has no fucking idea what to do with Ai and the Apple brand. 😂
[+8] u/Ok_Wealth_3433: Fake meat went up 40% today wtf
[+8] u/Legendary-Lemon: Tim Cook leaving Apple will be remembered as the pivotal moment before the biggest drop in the stock market history
[+8] u/ManBearPig_1983: My neighbor decided to repair his own breaks to save $600. Haven’t seen him in a week.
[+7] u/LaserBeamer17: It’s meme season
Eat your MUSHROOM drugs that you put in your FAKE MEAT while you take your rental CAR to buy some FLOWERS for your favorite BULL.
[+7] u/spwath: Why oil drop so much at close?
[+7] u/DoctorThin1653: CAR is on a generational run with 88% of the float short. RUN IT UP
[+7] u/Early-Elderberry-150: Who else fomo’d into ASTS calls at close? Lmao
[+7] u/NoFuckingValue: A billion dollars and no wife at home.. how is Tim Cook going to enjoy his retirement?
[+7] u/NewDawn101: Tim Cook to step down as CEO and became new king of Straight of Hormuz
[+7] u/thegreatgumbini: >We will not negotiate with terrorists.
*^(Iran on negotiating with the U.S/Israel)*
[+7] u/No_Current3675: They look fkn retarded. Real tits FTW.
[+7] u/No-Butterfly-9989: Could also just be Russias economy collapsing and them having to liquidate
[+6] u/thewaterb0yyyy: Market be like, pump it I guess idk
[+6] u/Cpinkman14: Open the casino, yes, fake meat
[+6] u/Turbulent-Bet-7133: Goodbye Timmy I love you
[+6] u/cashflow_: https://preview.redd.it/6invzalxtewg1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=53dd213a33fc04b75d08052f9859dca15963968f
[+6] u/Traditional-Emu-6620: I took the day off trading today. I thought we’d go red with the strait closing but SPY only went down 0.2%?! Markets are still super bullish so I’m buying QQQ calls at open tomorrow.
[+6] u/CIMoneyMovers: I bought Apple calls today. $ROPE
[+6] u/Smuvmuniz: I bought apple and Amazon puts lmfao what are the chances
[+6] u/Sam_Vicious2: How many times are people going to post about Apple to the main page… annoying mfers
[+6] u/Itsatinyplanet: My penny stock came in today.
The company bought out for $450 million !
I'm a thousandaire now.
[+6] u/Bob_the_peasant: Got an ad on Reddit to advertise on Reddit
*looks at my huge Reddit calls position*
Oh I’m in danger
[+6] u/bigmeatbag: Tim Apple is stepping down? One the young twink interns he's been fucking finally turn him in?
[+6] u/SubduedWeed: RIP Tim Apple. He was a real one ngl
[+6] u/AirportMaterial5917: Why was volume dryer than ur wife’s boyfriend’s dad’s boy toy today
[+6] u/zephyrs85: John Ternus, your 25 years of ass kissing are now over. It is now your turn to get your ass kissed
[+6] u/spreadbetfred: Tim Apple stepping down. Release the workplace harassment allegations.
[+6] u/InitialPsychology731: So can we continue pumping MSFT tomorrow
[+6] u/stupidber: You ever notice how money smells exactly like cocaine?
[+6] u/SuffiecientSapian: Got a girl coming over later but I can’t get it up because I’m focused on my options at open
[+6] u/WailingWarbler: Which one of you crazy fk'rs were buying beyond meat today?
[+5] u/f0xinaround: MMs can eat my ass 🍑
[+5] u/GoldenAries4: The confusion is actually keeping the market up at this point. Big players won’t rejoin and small players are just expecting a TACO so they won’t sell out of FOMO.
Let’s just get a deal going and end all of this so it can drill to hell.
[+5] u/elitepilot09: **ORCL TO THE MOON**
[+5] u/KahlVados: Don't be concerned
iPhone 18 will look just like iPhone 17 even with a new CEO
[+5] u/Professional-Tap2052: All those "war experts" on their podcasts all weekend were saying the market is going to crash come Monday. Called stock traders the "biggest idiots"
[+5] u/cryptohorn: I asked Claude to overlay today's market with 1929 and the graphs are 99% spot on
[+5] u/mneymaker: To everyone asking about $CAR nobody here got skin on the game, we got seriously regrets not getting in now stfu THIS NEVER HAPPENED IF WE DONT TALK ABOUT IT
[+5] u/ArtisticFrame5790: BULL up like 100% in 1.5 weeks.
[+5] u/Consistent-Platypus3: Well the real question is... who's gonna Cook for Apple from now on? 🤔
[+5] u/wyudtix: Gonna miss ‘ol’ Timmy Cook ☹️
[+5] u/CEOofBeanz: Tim Apple left before he could cook
[+5] u/thefrozen_one: Tim Cook? What about Tom Boil
[+5] u/Independent-Tree-985: I secretly want to start a tiny apiary in my backyard
[+5] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: I think ASTS survived, some of you were saying it would be delisted today lmao
[+5] u/Morocier: I'll be a deca-millionaire soon. I like the sound of that
[+5] u/ClaytonRook: Breaking news- the US has just discovered Tehran's Burn Book
[+5] u/Comfortable733: Kegs Breath and Spider Kash were roommates in college. Bullish
[+5] u/spacemoses: Guessing by the hissy fit on truth social today the next TACO might be a weak one. Or nukes, but who really knows.
[+5] u/BatingAndTrading: ASTS calls are free money
[+5] u/MrNo_Balls: I am forever going to be poor
[+5] u/Wrath_FMA: What time is TACO Tuesday?
[+5] u/Independent-Tree-985: > Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer leaves cabinet, Keith Sonderling takes over
Abandon ship bell has been sounded, thats 2 in as many months, 3 if you count pams ... _tactical resignation_
[+5] u/Early-Elderberry-150: Praying for big ASTS gap up tomorrow 🤲🤲🤲
[+5] u/gomper: Joe Kernan gonna deep throat 🥭 tomorrow morning on cnbc
[+5] u/CFA_BR_Advisor: Buy microsoft it will end the year above 600
[+5] u/Rmonte90: Today is my birthday and I lost. Someone give me a gift for tomorrow please
[+5] u/StandardDot5115: wasnt there a moment in 2019 or 2020 where 🥭straight up murked an iranian general and the market recovered in 1 day lmfao
[+5] u/_Fibbles_: Why is everyone talking about a CAR squeeze? Not even a 2 bagger and looks done already?
Edit: nevermind, I zoomed out
[+5] u/AirportMaterial5917: Y’all wanna hear something nasty
[+5] u/SilverVikingTT: Iran’s Ghalibaf says country will not negotiate under ‘shadow of threats’
Iran’s Parliament Speaker and negotiator Mohammad Ghalibaf has said that the country will not negotiate under “threats” and hinted that it has been preparing new military capabilities in case talks fail.
“Trump, by imposing a siege and violating the ceasefire, seeks to turn this negotiating table— in his own imagination— into a table of surrender or to justify renewed warmongering,” Ghalibaf said in a social media post.
“We do not accept negotiations under the shadow of threats, and in the past two weeks, we have prepared to reveal new cards on the battlefield.”
[+5] u/J_da_CPA: Influencers running the government lmao
[+5] u/DiamondHands667: Any bears still alive?
[+5] u/geddyclaus: Look at the VIX plunge at the last minute in anticipation of TACO TUESDAY
[+5] u/Sober_Alcoholic_: Almost nailed it
https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/s/9q5eX0hJf5
[+5] u/abzoom69: Nflx to $100 or I sell my newborn
[+5] u/Ordinary_News_6455: If a woman uses this 🤌 emoji, she’ll probably suck your dick. If a man uses this 🤌 emoji, he’ll probably suck your dick.
[+5] u/Stealthless: Made $60 today, that covers this week's gas
[+5] u/ballsonreddit: Why didn’t I just throw 100k at CAR and chill? Idk..
[+5] u/GovernmentSea1780: SPY will be 725 by EOD Thurs
[+5] u/SomePolack: PLTR put out a manifesto because that’s very cool and normal
[+5] u/Weak_Animator: >Trump says ceasefire ends Wednesday evening and a further extension is ‘highly unlikely’
This is like your mother trying to discipline you growing up but always resetting the counter
[+5] u/isolated-cat: I have been seeing so many comments about CAR. think you are one of the bots
[+5] u/LetigiousBoobFart: have you seen the premiums?
[+23] u/rhuffq: My prediction:
Ceasefire expires with no deal
Israel fires missiles within 4 hours after the ceasefire expired renewing fears of WW3
SPY hits 800
[+20] u/DanasSideWife: ceasefireproposal-final-Final_v4_v5_final-latest-LatestV1.doc
[+14] u/TheBestCanadianGoose: dude this shit is scaring the f outta me, this looks like late cycle garbage.... flowers.com? Beyond Meat? All Birds? QQQ rsi above 71? I may be wrong but wtf this has to chill
[+12] u/LossMax: I'm one 10x away from being one 10x away
[+12] u/zlordbeats: who else watched spy at 630 a few weeks ago and thought “i still have time to buy the dip next month”
[+11] u/ProudRaccoon4653: I imagine Trump is sitting in a room right now filled with fake gold. Fresh diaper on, diet coke in hand, lukewarm McDonald's fish filet being delivered by some semi retired pleb trying to pay for obscene medical expenses. Cable news playing softly in the background, as his dementia riddled brain struggles to form his latest sundowning induced tweet that will decide if I make money tomorrow or lose my ass. This modern world sure is something.
[+11] u/Exciting_Day4155: Small red day to reset the counter now another 12 green days. 🤤
[+10] u/sanmar2225: #is there even any air left for cash gang to punch?
[+10] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: I bought ASTS today at $76. Not because I like the company, they just have an insane cult following so $100 is guarunteed
[+9] u/Sharp-Direction-6894: Somehow my portfolio closed +$9.6k today. 🤷♂️
[+9] u/wattap: Even as a permabull I have to say…this market is retarded
[+9] u/Legitimate_Cable_811: See bers, you got your red day. Happy?
[+9] u/Candid_Payment_4094: 50,000 bears used to live here. Now it's a ghost town
[+9] u/SlfImpr: This is why I am poor and they are not:
\----------------------------
Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick's sons could be making 3 to 5x returns on every dollar they spent buying tariff refund rights.
Cantor Fitzgerald, now run by Lutnick's sons Brandon and Kyle, was buying tariff refund claims from companies at 20 to 30 cents on the dollar.
The firm told clients it had "capacity to trade up to several hundred million" in these claims.
They confirmed at least one $10 million trade was already executed as of July 2025. They said they expected that number to "balloon in the coming weeks." That was 9 months ago.
Today those claims are worth 100 cents on the dollar. The refund portal is live, $166 billion in refunds are being processed.
If Cantor bought $100 million in refund rights at 25 cents on the dollar, they spent $25 million.
They now collect $100 million from the government. That is a $75 million profit. A 300% return.
If they scaled to "several hundred million" as they told clients they could, the profits run into the hundreds of millions.
SOURCE: [https://x.com/BullTheoryio/status/2046317416255463578](https://x.com/BullTheoryio/status/2046317416255463578)
[+9] u/i_goon_to_tomboys___: basically every piece of good news has been cancelled and we got a.........
\*checks notes\*
\-0.2% day to break the cycle of +14% in one week
[+9] u/trust_it_bb: Bears want you to believe donald pump is gonna let markets crash during mid term year. Lmao. Buy september 820 spy calls and retire early.
[+8] u/Strangerdanger8812: I cant take guys that say taco seriously
[+8] u/TreeofLibertyFood: Is there a good fallout shelter company that is publicly traded? Just curious, no reason for asking.
[+8] u/Tigulla_SRT24: Been shorting and will continue
[+8] u/LiveMotivation: Lots of ber mocking going on. Be warned, when the tide turns it’s going to be ugly.
[+8] u/GreenGameboyColor: Did you mean dong? 😳
[+7] u/LossMax: I need msft up 10% by 9 am
[+7] u/TheGoodSurgeon: Beyond beverage isn’t bad tbh 😯
[+7] u/MasterElite1: **BREAKING**: UK AND FRANCE BEGIN DUMPING US TREASURIES
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/HGYaLXUb0AAFBxb?format=jpg&name=900x900
[+7] u/winston511: “Iran's top negotiator: Trump is seeking to turn negotiating table into a table of surrender”
He’s not wrong he’s just early
[+7] u/Jadeclone1: Iran not talking.... give em two more weeks!
[+7] u/Commercial-District1: If you’re thinking about jumping into CAR, I strongly advise not to
[+7] u/trust_it_bb: Special pump forces deployed in the market, boarding and ceasing all puts. Only calls allowed to profit.
[+7] u/trust_it_bb: Buying frenzy buy buy buy, the money tap is open gobble all you can before they turn it off.
[+7] u/SneedIsHere: So we gonna TACO our way to 720 tomorrow?
[+7] u/trust_it_bb: No one cared about oil.
No one cares about your treasuries.
There’s nothing stopping this train to SPY 1000.
[+7] u/ChampionshipOdd947: The us government should just invest all of our tax dollars into fake meat, wait for it to triple, then boom, 36 trillion national debt problem solved.
[+6] u/nascarhero: Enron walked so Big Tech could run. The AI circle jerk continues
[+6] u/HDauthentic: I would like to thank ASTS for the $70 I made while at work today
[+6] u/Aware-Teacher5389: What’s the best ETF for Chinese marathon robots?
[+6] u/Maximum-Side-9391: Market gonna rip tomorrow because stock market goes up 90% of the time simple math
[+6] u/lSazedl: Damn, might actually end green by eod
[+6] u/andytobbles: One thing I can 100% guarantee, the market will remain irrational longer than you retards can remain solvent
[+6] u/Gristle__McThornbody: I got something more important to discuss than the Tim Apple news. I just got back from seeing Project Hail mary. Excellent movie. Way better than the piece of shit Mario Galaxy. K Pop demon hunters is pretty close to being as good as Hail mary too.
[+6] u/PositiveEdge4361: Endless money printing and rampant inflation along with the rest of the world dumping US treasuries. Time to SHINE ✨
[+6] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: THE MEAT STRIKES AGAIN 🍖
[+6] u/Beloved_Mango: If fake meat pumps to 7ish again this week I will put a fake meat sausage in my rectum
[+6] u/yyn1999: Puts seem to be the obvious Play - so calls it is
[+6] u/Beagle001: Seems like we've gone overboard with "LMAO". These days people will type:
"GOOG up .04% AH LMAO"
That really makes you laugh your ass off? What if something happens like a seal riding a unicycle comes into your yard, speaking German?
[+6] u/MasterElite1: >3 month foreign demand for treasuries (annualized) shows a drastic drop in foreign demand for US treasuries compared to the 1 year trend.
>https://pbs.twimg.com/media/HGYeUcCbEAA_fMD?format=jpg&name=900x900
✅️
[+6] u/Strangerdanger8812: When I die you guys can have my comments
[+6] u/pineapplekiwipen: your puts were fuk the moment you bought them
[+5] u/OptionsHuduga: BREAKING: CEO of hertz now seen at the airport renting from the AVIS desk.
[+5] u/shanus94: Solid red day today means that it’s green the rest of the week. SPY 750 EOW
[+5] u/Conrad3k: Tim cooked but now his Ternus over
[+5] u/Beloved_Mango: Fake meat lottos are printing
[+5] u/FullCopy: Tim Apple will now be called: Timmmmah.
[+5] u/Western_Rope_6826: R we not seeing spy reject 710?
[+5] u/Future_Hyena2562: Just checked the performance in my gambling account. Up 223% since March 31st and 4% ytd. Probably should go to cash for a bit but I won’t.
[+5] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: How do we feel about UUUU
[+5] u/brute-forced: Anyone notice that orange goo dripping from joe kernan’s lips?
[+5] u/ArgyleGhoul: Getting ratfucked by theta, probably
[+5] u/Dodisdodisdodis: Market rotating into popcorn and fake meat… What is this? 2021?
[+5] u/RampagingDeer: Merry 4/20 you filthy degenerates!
[+5] u/Prudent-Leading-8835: Things are going Down, just saying
[+5] u/boraboca: There’s been like no news on Iran War today. Suspicious.
[+5] u/pineapplekiwipen: today was a great buying opportunity but if you missed today there's always tomorrow
[+5] u/2Frum4U: Tim Apple? Never met the guy. Never heard of him.
[+5] u/Competitive_Fox7250: Watching taco govern is like pissing in the wind.
[+5] u/No_Relief_8705: Spy is gonna be pinned between 700-710 for a month
[+5] u/Rvin16: Remember when Robinhood tried negotiating with the subreddit and got banned by mods lol
[+5] u/ILikeWhatISee69420: Omg my hormussy is about to gush!!!!!
[+5] u/Zimoula: JUST IN: Trump to join CNBC's Squawk Box for interview before market open tomorrow.
🌮 Tuesday?
[+5] u/Bright-Revolution496: it takes balls to bet against the market, give it to the bears
[+5] u/No-Sympathy-686: We in the fake meat part of the cycle now already....
Shit....
[+5] u/Ecodriverz: Fucking hilarious spy went absolutely nowhere today and ended where it opened.
[+5] u/Sandvicheater: Tim cook didn't "step down" he basically was told to hand in his resignation after falling asleep on the wheel when AAPL's competitors were taking off with AI. Now AAPL has to suck on GOOG's knob for their AI needs. If steve jobs saw that today he'd fired Cooks' ass years ago.
[+5] u/Sensitive_Guest_5995: Did SPY Jun 698 PUTs last week. So far I’m not entirely sure whether it will actually hit. Mainly because the market doesn’t seem to care if there’s no oil anymore. Suppose it’s based and green?
[+5] u/IWishIwasAwhale1: well fk my puts for tomorrow i gues
[+5] u/No_Zookeepergame_27: Good earnings in store for AAPL. Cook would have stayed and took the blame for one last time if it was bad.
[+5] u/McClintockC: Tim retired because I lost money on AAPL calls last year, I just know it
[+5] u/lipmanz: What was Tim Cook’s big moment?
[+5] u/Seymour_asis501: Asked lil bro for my Xbox 360 back because he doesn’t play it and my moms treating me like I’m the bad guy
:(
[+5] u/Worldly-Bid5368: Now say it with me “im a gay bear and I hate money” ok your turn, Go
[+5] u/jerm2z: Diabetes or AI thots
[+5] u/Jagged_Tide: Subreddit for group psychosis is crazy
[+15] u/kanyedidnothingwr0ng: I'm not an expert, but I think ber r fuk tomorrow
[+11] u/UsernameTaken_123: If you invested in INTC on 16th June 2000 you would be flat now LMAO 🤌
[+11] u/GoZukkYourself: Deposit $14,000. Hope this helps 🫂
[+10] u/Detail-Vegetable: 🥭: "highly unlikely" he'll extend the ceasefire.
Best president ever, about to defy the odds once again.
Calls.
[+9] u/Paul_Robert_: I saw a post from the dividends subreddit, where a dude was celebrating achieving $1/day passive income.
Ha! Little does he know, that I can do $-10/day no problem!
[+9] u/UnitedCup1814: The fat cuck tom Lee said the bull market is just getting going and the crypto winter is almost over. When that fat cuck talks you better listen or get left behind.
[+9] u/Wade12323: The market didn’t even go down like that
[+8] u/Pale-Silver-8178: fake beef taco on the menu again
[+8] u/definatelynotme321: My move is to make no move.
[+8] u/DonCenote: Hopefully more than 12 shares get traded tomorrow.
[+8] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: Iran stating they won’t negotiate under present conditions and that they are ready for a resumption of hostilities
https://x.com/mb_ghalibaf/status/2046339369884086287?s=46
[+8] u/bringkiteback: Doesn’t matter if your poor or rich 99% of you are ugly af
[+7] u/DrElkSnout: Just remember you can make hundreds of percent gains, but you can only ever lose 100%.
Full port.
[+7] u/bendraw: Step sibling, you seem to be stuck in the Strait of Hormuz. Whatever shall we do? \~Markets intensify\~
[+7] u/SoloOutdoor: What in the manipulation is going on here
[+7] u/T__i__m__: Prediction: Tesla cars outdone by Chinese manufacturers. Self driving just not happening. Robots a bust. Other companies already ahead. Solar and power walls crushed by the Cheeto and cheap foreign products.
SpaceX goes public and does well. SpaceX takes over Tesla in some kinda crazy large merger where SpaceX shareholders get screwed over and musk makes out like a bandit.
[+7] u/nyse25: why wasnt the market green on goddamn 4/20
[+7] u/nolanjp: The price difference between paper Oil and the cost to buy an actual barrel is $30 less. The highest price difference in history. Yikes.
[+7] u/Snowman33001: Some of you don’t know we’re not in Kansas anymore, and it shows.
[+7] u/Iamhappilyconfused: Tomorrow bears are gonna be reporting every single gunshot across the Middle East again, a mosque mouse won't be able to take a shit in peace without it being announced in the comments.
[+7] u/GetBigOrDieTrying5: I moved out of LA…like a dumbass
[+7] u/Fair_Philosopher575: 🥭 8:30am tomorrow: The strait is spread wide open
[+7] u/Alert_Ad_8283: Rotating like 30% of my portfolio into oil.
[+7] u/moosewithamuffin: My Temu order crossing the strait of Hormuz like a call of duty mission
[+6] u/Fun-Valuable-7355: Wtf I care about 420? I’m a gambling addict not a hobo
[+6] u/ContributeAVerse: Damn I almost sold my fake meat calls today
[+6] u/chikenbeer: Nice my put spread gained 5% today. Down 40% all time.
[+6] u/Professional_Con_007: Ya gonna watch ber get fukt till 2027
[+6] u/Rugpull_Generator: Why are futures green as fuck while bears keep waiting for that rugpull that's never coming?
[+6] u/kodaksdad2020: The commander in chief does not do a presser on CNBC before open unless he’s giga pumping the market
[+6] u/PlasticComplexReddit: If you spend money on AI as microsoft, thats bad, you do it as amazon, thats good, or something.
[+5] u/Wows_Nightly_News: The New Apple CEO looks like the kind of guy who gets rich off being a stock photo model.
[+5] u/Far-Requirement9180: wtf is this, regard gamblers sub for ants ?
[+5] u/StonksInvesteur: It’s another TACO Tuesday when he said it was unlikely there is another ceasefire, then there is another ceasefire because “Iran begs for deals”
[+5] u/SmmaAllstar: Tariff refund deez nuts
[+5] u/blemdemman: my fave tacos are from truth social
[+5] u/hermeskino715: AMZN with the circle jerk
Now I don't feel as bad for selling my AMZN puts at open
^(I don't hate you as much now Pakistan)
[+5] u/spectra444: The market is about to give Bers some beyond meat tomorrow because its fake and gae
[+5] u/Sean_VasDeferens: I'm too high to think about tomorr.......MY HANDS ARE FREAKING HUGE!
[+5] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Congrats ASTS dip buyers
[+5] u/ThatOneRedditBro: HUT up 600% in one year.
MARA and IREN heating up
[+5] u/Willing_Spring2736: Today's price action could have been an email..
[+5] u/Emergency_Hurry280: Does trump going onto cnbc tomorrow show he’s getting desperate?
[+5] u/-IQ200: ASTS bounced off 200 SMA. Tech Anal wins again.
[+5] u/TheScourgeOfHumanity: fuck anyone born on this day fr
[+5] u/Nice-Truck8806: just put the fried mechanically separated soy-cricket fritters in the bag
[+5] u/Intelligent_Heat451: #We’re a great community of retards helping other retards.
[+5] u/iBoughtYourCar: Bought the McDonald’s dip earlier and then it kept dipping
Classic
[+5] u/MiniPeepus: Spy 712c prints tomorrow.
[+5] u/buyatollah_kuminamy: The new Apple guy looks exactly like you would think a new Apple guy would look
[+5] u/kodaksdad2020: Donny taking a victory lap at 830 tm?
[+5] u/Weak_Money_9927: Yes Amazon reach $300 so I can be unemployed for a few more years
[+5] u/Significant_Speed854: What's the reason for the pump right before futures close for the day?
[+5] u/chibi78: Make Volatility Great Again!!!! Cant scalp this shit
[+5] u/Charming_Raccoon4361: Amzn to invest another 25 billion in anthropic, stock up like 2%
[+5] u/Micheal_Hancho: Did everyone have a good black Monday? Or African American Monday if you want to be politically correct
[+5] u/FrequentUpperDecker: Why are these mods such cucks? Every discussion I post gets taken down with a 3 word explanation
[+5] u/rashfordsaltyballs: Everybody is getting awfully bullish. This is my sign to go all in 0dte puts lfg!!!
[+5] u/Split_Seconds: So, what is supposed to happen tomorrow with Iran and 🥭?
[+5] u/memoryyyuh: John Ternus is a boring name that just kinda falls out of your mouth.
Tim Cook, Steve Jobs, now those are good names. Hard consonants, single syllables, can make puns with em. But John Ternus… bleh.
Puts AAPL
[+5] u/lantern735: Wanna get high? Drink tap water
[+5] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: 🥀 Gone but not forgotten
[+16] u/ajibtunes: The BBC says it has found a 'consistent pattern of spikes just hours, or sometimes minutes' in financial markets before a 'social media post or media interview' by 🥭
[+14] u/Frozen_Shades: How to tell if you're retarded.
>!<
[+12] u/ConsiderationKey1658: I ate four bagels and now I feel weird
[+11] u/NeuroLeak: Honestly, at this point I think 🥭could drop a nuke on Wall Street and vaporize NYC and the market would end -0.1%
[+11] u/ConsiderationKey1658: fuck it. I’m eating a fifth bagel. YOLO
[+8] u/GuwopGOAT: When JPow turns in his badge it’s gonna be the end of this economy
[+8] u/Jaysler87: Software stocks are gonna be soaring tomorrow
[+7] u/peterpeer9: One time as a joke I gave my friend $100,000 to prove a point that he would for sure mismanage any meaningful amount of money and lose it all, and sure enough within 8 months it was all gone to stupid shit
I sure showed him
[+7] u/CigInside: Got acquired and now we have a consultant analyzing work streams
*gulp*
[+7] u/llasar17: i know the day i see blackberry above 15 is when everything is gonna crash and my puts will finally print
[+7] u/sylphvanas: Going long $ROPE unless we dump tomorrow
[+7] u/Informal_Math_7853: Ps. you can trade SPY w 50x leverage on Phantom wallet
why trade futes with an expiry date when you can trade perpetuals and get liquidated anyways 💅
[+7] u/Jealous_Archer_4522: And you still pay them?
[+6] u/Frozen_Shades: Ever seen a fruit a with toes? >!Tomatoes?!<
[+6] u/ConsiderationKey1658: Playoff hockey and a bag full of everything bagels. Life is good.
[+6] u/Weak_Emu3659: So this manosphere discord reassured me the reason I lost my money in the market was women's fault - it's good to know I'm the victim in all this, something just didn't feel right, like I don't make mistakes you know
[+6] u/zuziannka: Gambling does fry your brain
[+6] u/Normal_Finance_3083: #LONGING OIL CAUSE IM A BULL..... LMAO🤌
[+6] u/Weak_Emu3659: Tide Pod Challenge Champion: 2022, 2023, and 2025.
[+6] u/Yogurt_Up_My_Nose: I had a 401k that I haven't looked at from an old company and it's near $100k. kinda feel like I should just use that to buy a fun car or some shit.
[+6] u/AsgardWarship: Only people who still have directv are genx and boomers
[+6] u/Tautol0gic: Because you can't predict the future
[+5] u/Game3k: DGXX is the next APLD
[+5] u/jiggolo420: Would the WSB ticker be RTRD or TARD?
[+5] u/theummeower: One of my favorite things is when a pornstar you’ve been jerking to for years puts on a little weight.
I love thick era girlies
[+5] u/Frozen_Shades: How to tell if you're retarded?
>!Do you own Apple products? Retarded if yes. Them the rules.!<
[+5] u/fomoandyoloandnogrow: How to tell if you’re poor?
>!Do you own an apple substitute product? If yes, then you are what garbage you buy. They the facts.!<
[+5] u/xeuropa: Get ready: 🌮 will be on CNBC tomorrow morning at 8:30AM ET pamping the market. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
[+5] u/fomoandyoloandnogrow: If you believe in the infinite upside of the American market and stonks only go up, I got two things to tell you:
A. Warren Buffet the biggest American bull of all time is gonna kick the bucket sooner or later.
B. Warren buffet was able to get in at the bottom after the Great Depression. As for you, you’re gonna be mid life crisis or older by the time the second Great Depression hits and filing for bankruptcy while working the Wendy’s Soupanator lines.
[+5] u/dljmonkeyboiz: This market only has “pump”, “pahmp”, and “PUMP” mode
[+5] u/MrBlueEyedFox: At this point bers have to be considered a endangered species. We should lock them up at the zoo.
[+5] u/Fast_Garlic_5639: Eating fake meat is last pump, now we drink fake meat
[+5] u/toydan: does $AMZN bust that $255 and go exploring up and to the right uncharterd territory much like $GOOG a year ago 🤨
[+5] u/Zetice: Long live John Apple!
[+5] u/pvavri4425: SOFI finna bust tyshi
[+5] u/ProlactinIntolerant: Full port Brent crude.
[+5] u/Kind-Recognition4528: Anal training for tonight💅🏻
[+5] u/BreakingBadBones: Fk me man, i waited to invest in so many stocks during the dip which all have doubled now. Did anyone even foresee this historic rally?
[+5] u/Concept-Plastic: If Tim Apple is stepping down, are they renaming the company? What will be the new name?
[+5] u/Philthatman: Weakest low volume bullshit ive ever seen
[+5] u/looool_k_libtard: Celebrating day 1 of this new bear market with some delicious medium rare chicken and red Gatorade
[+5] u/TimingEzaBitch: sold my 205c nvda calls because I am a pussy and then bought 202.5c nvda calls at noon because I am a chad. we are not the same.
[+5] u/bigwave7575: Any thoughts on Gold?
[+5] u/mtnrnnr802: RIP Tim Cook 11/01/1960 - 04/20/2026
[+14] u/rukasteam: Blew up my account with puts
[+12] u/SuperbSandwich: Is it just me or have the daily threads been especially saturated with nonsense since last week?
[+11] u/Ninefingerzs: https://preview.redd.it/8tmqtmzt3gwg1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=57f4086aebe6cde098d88b77f8f9ebf8db12cef4
Is WW3 priced in
[+10] u/No_Cod972: We were meant to live for so much more
But then we found 0dtes
[+10] u/Miles-OBrien: bought some msft calls at close so probably an epic crash tomorrow
[+9] u/rukasteam: For there to be de-escalation, there must be escalation. - Art of the bull
[+9] u/shower_optional: Trump speaking before market open and you wonder what direction it is going?
[+8] u/PhotoSpheres: My moves for tomorrow? Same thing I’ve been doing for the past two weeks. Keeping my money out of the market and crying about missing the greatest bull run in the past 30 years while praying that the next Iran news will cause the market to drop more than a third of a percentage point
[+7] u/John__Chena: How in the actual fook do we elect a president that doesn’t know what a tariff is and an administration that just goes with it? Am I missing something here?
[+7] u/Defiant-Fee-7550: I accidently left Pornhub open on a laptop display at Costco 😦
[+7] u/Pazzaaaaaa: Mango talking on CNBC before open sounds awful. He’s gonna gloat that higher oil prices is good for America and there’s no need to give into any of Irans demands.
[+7] u/kemar7856: Fake meat is up 75% last 5 days why🧐
[+7] u/Hellmale: CAR short squeeze is epic
[+7] u/Antique_Cabinet8416: jarvis they're squeezing all the retardium at lightspeed you know what that means
[+7] u/Baloubist: Bers squealing crying and smashing their keyboard bc Hormuz isn’t the big deal their tiktok influencer said it was
[+7] u/Ok_Buffalo2027: Bernie Madoff was promising upwards of 40% returns
‘And his investors didn’t suspect any chance of wrong doing’
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
[+7] u/OK_Computer10101: Don’t worry everyone, JP Morgan predicts the US will be the last to enter the Great Depression 2.0… we have at least a few more months to get these tendies
[+7] u/sailortyx56: Being unemployed at 65 in this economy....yikes
Tim stay safe. Apple did u dirty.
[+7] u/aporter0131: Gonna hit them with a geometry question
[+6] u/plzplzplztendies: Kinda mad that tim apple never made the apple car.
[+6] u/Loan-Pickle: Low volume. Not much talk in the daily threads. I think everyone is just sitting around waiting to see what happens.
[+6] u/FatFluffyFish: SPY desperately wants to hear pump news or dump news. The past few days were a snooze fest
[+6] u/Slabbed1738: JD leave yet, or still chilling in the couch?
[+6] u/habxall: The most toxic players in online gaming are disproportionately gay
[+6] u/Slabbed1738: Lol axios says Vance leaving tomorrow for Pakistan. Like 16hr flight, ceasefire expires Wednesday. 🤔
[+6] u/TippyTippyTippyTop: Straight is open. You go first.
[+6] u/Objective_Back_2581: Imagine being ber. Futes already green. Prepare anoos 🤌
[+5] u/Slabbed1738: It is up 500% in a month lol
[+5] u/Feisty-Basis7903: Short squeeze back on the menu
[+5] u/xironically23: Somehow after this morning it was the flattest day I've seen
[+5] u/kemar7856: I went to the library to do some work every student laptop has chatgpt 😧
[+5] u/1M-to-Zero: For whatever reason, CAR can't run out of battery (if EV) or gas if its regular. Ot says takes 9 days to cover shorts who are not willing to cover now.
[+5] u/voidedhip: I’ve nearly blown my entire 401k up. Home Depot here I come
[+5] u/rukasteam: praise be allah speech tmrw?
[+5] u/SilverPrivateer: US announces: Tankers will be able to pay 1.2M USD yearly for US nautical flagging, guaranteeing safe passage in all commercial waterways and trading routes by protection of US navy.
[+5] u/Complex-Video-2202: so fake meat again on the menu?
[+5] u/NotMe357: "NEW: TACO declares that if Iran doesn't negotiate, "they are going to see problems like they've never seen before"
[+5] u/Prudent_Concern_1511: we're about to see green like never before
[+5] u/Flat-Focus7966: Having 30-40% cash on the side, while still invested is way more peaceful than I imagined
[+5] u/BigTower230: Its such a sleeper stock, no one talks about it here 😭😭
[+5] u/smegmania1: I got $1k liquidity 😋 where we gambling boiiiz?
[+5] u/kawkface: Investing in Anthropic
[+5] u/No-Improvement3164: Amazon spending money is bullish now?
[+5] u/PenguinKing15: Will there be white smoke coming from the Apple Park?
[+5] u/Amazing_Plankton744: I am under no pressure whatsover
[+5] u/TimeOnTargetKilo: Odds Netflix hits 140 by June
[+5] u/jfwelll: Fake meat is squeezing, we are in the endgame
[+5] u/University-Silent: I have about $20k worth of Amzn $250 calls for expiration on 4/22. How am I going to get fcked by morning?
[+5] u/Sufficient_Insect812: 🥭 talkin about "we are the hottest" like he's Paris Hilton in 2002.
[+5] u/BillyShears2015: Will my 78c ASTS keep printing?
[+5] u/TequilaTrader: I don’t like being exposed to the deplorables on airline flights.
[+5] u/crunchsoop: Wooo. Thanks.
I came here for you to help me get rich.
[+5] u/StayPositivePlease: Another green candle
[+5] u/PeeOnDusk: Buy the rumor, sell the news…is what the bears think. Mango will announce peace deal before open, sell the news after open, then spy closes 715
[+15] u/DesignerSea494: SGOV has such an obvious pattern. I’m gonna be rich!
[+12] u/Boomer_With_Dementia: Tomorrow I am getting out of the Stock Trading Game and rebranding myself as an AI business.
[+12] u/ignatious__reilly: I’ve had $100,000 stuck in Blackberry at $9.00 for a long time
If I escape this, it’s going to be amazing.
[+11] u/WSB-mods-are-: It's a shame oil fell off so hard. The number of idiots I saw in jacked up mall crawler pickups flooring it at red lights had dropped to zero.
[+11] u/Frosty-Pea-4577: i only lose $750 today!!!! (acct balance was 800)
[+10] u/Chrg88: $1,000,000 liquid is the baseline to upper middle class.
upper middle class is just lower class but with Costco Saturdays, trader Joe Tuesdays, and an occasional steak dinner on your anniversary.
Depressing
[+9] u/13jfncjai31: “Emirati officials are warning U.S. counterparts that if dollar access is denied, the UAE may be forced to use Chinese yuan or other currencies for oil sales, posing an implicit threat to dollar supremacy in global energy transactions.”
https://www.turkiyetoday.com/region/uae-seeks-dollar-swap-line-from-us-as-iran-war-drains-economy-report-3218453
The fact that UAE is begging for a credit swap line means that a) infrastructure damage is worse than acknowledged b) dollar liquidity threat is real c) capital flight is real (even if no one wants to admit it)
Pair this with possible suspension of the Baltic Exchange benchmark and I think we’re cooked
[+9] u/Chrg88: My portfolio is up $91k in three weeks used to hit nice.
That now yields me literally nothing in this world except higher digits on an iPhone
[+8] u/fartpooppee420: im homeless and high as shit on some pure ass shards of crystal. i only have enough money to pay for one uber ride and i need liquor (i am a severe alcoholic). the liquor store is right next to the local hospital. i have an insanely sweet idea to call the paramedics and say i have crushing chest pain just to get a quick lift (of course i wont pay the ambulance bill, capitalism is a cancer) to the hospital to duck out to the liquor store and pay for an uber back.
[+7] u/ConstantAd1: Some of you have never been CEO of Apple and it shows
[+7] u/TraipseTraveller: BB meme stock back on the menu
[+7] u/DesignerSea494: If ASTS falls back to $2, I’m buying, and holding this time. Definitely not missing those gainz again…
[+7] u/Jolly_Cicada380: Market might never be red again
[+7] u/Noble_Bastard: Lol. Green cause we all expect TACO Tuesday. No TACO, no problem, still green on hopes and vibes. Actual TACO, no problem, green on TACO.
[+7] u/Acceptable_Eagle_775: Bers. I'm gonna throw you a bone here. The bottom is in. Get on the right side of this or not. 🤣
[+7] u/Sick0h: How much pump would a pump pump pump if a pump pump could pump pump?
And yea, go ahead and fuck yourself bagholder auto response.
[+7] u/sixtheperfectnumber: This time it's different
[+6] u/99Fan: Time to resume pumping
[+6] u/tripstermcgee808: Ngl the whole “tariff the world”, raise prices, fuck shit up and confuse every industry, then get them struck down and refund tariffs long after consumers paid increased price or demand premiums on non-tariffs goods is the greatest government under the table payment scheme I’ve ever seen. I’m a chump for thinking big business wasn’t in on it from the beginning 😂
[+6] u/Independent-Chef-169: No one cares about the Hormuz. We have enough oil. With that being said, believe it or not it’s still calls tomorrow. $SPY to 800$, $RKLB to 500$ leading into neutron first launch.
[+6] u/jew4445: Zero to hero in a little under six months. You too can do it kids just find your niche
[+6] u/syedhuda: buls made money buying allturds
meanwhile bers hoping iran becomes a nuclear war just to breakeven on their puts
[+6] u/Sick0h: I wondered what would finally push us past 700 for quite a while. Oil shortage doing it was low on my list but it makes sense in the fact that nothing ever makes sense.
[+6] u/Independent_Name_601: Does everyone in here have -$3,000 on their taxes for capital gains?
[+6] u/eyerollingsex: Twitter will show me posts like:
_your entire life depends on how well you do in your 20s._
Knowing I’m 30 and depressed
[+6] u/TraipseTraveller: Bring on the BB bots. Let's take this thread back to pre covid era
[+6] u/Butter_Ball22: STOP TELLING ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE, START TELLING ME HOW TO LOSE MY MONEY YOU CRAZY BASTARDS
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
[+6] u/DesignerSea494: Every ber: “Member 2008? I member…”
[+6] u/baadllama_ghost: ANOTHER ATH tomorrow!?
but bears, you said...
[+6] u/Effective_Dog3089: People my age outside living there best life. I’m inside watching the latest updates of the straight of hormooz. I’m a fucking chud
[+6] u/Clackamas_river: Cuba will be with you after this short break.
[+5] u/winner_in_life: Girls no longer wear bras around here
[+5] u/UnderB0SS: And grateful are we all for that.
[+5] u/Anxious-Pear4200: We need a regime change. Pretty fast. This is the greatest pile of horseshit ive ever seen.
[+5] u/MikeSSC: That regard belongs here
[+5] u/eyerollingsex: You ever become self aware in the middle of watching one of your sports teams, and question why you care about this and then it kills the whole vibe
[+5] u/yeahyoubored: is the energy crisis in the room with us right now ?
[+5] u/PompeiiSketches: How are people still bers after the last 3 weeks. This shit is not going down.
[+5] u/DarkR124: Think markets just sitting on its thumbs waiting on ceasefire news.
[+5] u/annoyed_meows: Grandma's need lovin too, just like big girls
[+5] u/Bigamungus: Probably not the best idea to be trading in your retirement account
[+5] u/iBoughtAtTheBottom: Bought one single UNH put just for the thrill. I work in hc and they turned away so much money from Medicare since January it has to hit this earnings.
[+5] u/pussinbuuts: Tim apple ❌
John apple ✅
[+5] u/oldprecision: See you at 8:30ET tomorrow.
[+5] u/dataCollector42069: feels so good exiting the casino while up. o7 old friends, I hope your options print.
[+5] u/Acceptable_Eagle_775: I'm from the future. Congrats if you didn't let the media (which are businesses) trick you out of your positions. Bigger congrats if you bought.
[+5] u/Fhyzikz: Oh fuck you're gonna make me capitulate
[+5] u/WrongShopping7921: Look at the charts people, spy 720 tomorrow
[+5] u/ThatGuyCalledEric: That alone seems bullish for RDDT
[+5] u/Similar-Turnip2482: Cover it with more shpleam
[+5] u/Late_Company6926: big hands I know you’re the one
[+5] u/tika_dengu: Hope the new guy brings back iPhone manufacturing from India.
[+5] u/AncientAd3846: Whose dick do i gotta suck to get spy to 715 by open?
[+15] u/Shoganai_Hito: SPY 717 tmrw
Source: 4 beers
[+12] u/An_Unusual_Mind: Iran has loaded on calls. They are sending some representative now.
[+11] u/Swiftnice: Can we petition for SPY to have a 10-1 split so we can actually have some decent volume again?
[+11] u/MrCoolGuy42: 5k in AVIS 5/15 200c a month ago would be $6.8M now 🫠
[+10] u/DoubleFamous5751: Highly recommend, after you’ve made a nice chunk of change gambling. Open a second account where you don’t gamble, and just buy shares of real companies that aren’t gonna pump and dump. Boring companies, like “staples” and shit that boomers buy.
[+10] u/OJThimpson: Cuz ur tryna ternus gay
[+9] u/PhysInstrumentalist: Dear god make this thing go down, It’s so ugly
[+8] u/jazzgrackle: Hey. Off topic. But I’m moving to the Chicago area. Looked for jobs and apartments today. I love this city. People are so kind, the city is beautiful. I’m super happy right now. I’m vibing.
[+8] u/Soy_tu_papi_: I remember the days when the Strait of Hormuz and Walmart used to be opened 24 hours
[+7] u/ThanksDependent1001: Let’s see. Oil futures dropping right now, SPY in the 18s, overnight compression on SPY after a compressed day, now 🥭speaking at market open. We 🚀to $720 before dumping on Wednesday.
[+7] u/Shah_Zam: So….calls back on the menu on open????
[+7] u/potato111a: Amazon invest 25bil into Anthropic -> Anthropic spends it on Amazon chips -> stonk goes up -> Amazon invest more money -> restart circle jerk LMAO 🤌
[+7] u/fuzzywuzzy123: What's the play tomorrow? Calls again?
[+6] u/Soft_Walrus_3605: All the tech CEOs at his inauguration didn't give it away?
[+6] u/31andnotdone: working on enrichment of my overall being
[+6] u/DoubleFamous5751: … many thread poors in here… maybe we can get a flair thread 👀
[+6] u/sl3azebag: my life depends on QQQ 655 tmrw
[+6] u/Vort3x7689: It’s pretty obvious a deal is coming soon, one that is probably quite similar to the jcpoa considering he keeps saying that the deal he is going to get is nothing like it and that his is FAR better. So watch out bers I’m not totally sure this is going to escalate again
[+6] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: They don’t call him Donald Pumperino for nothing, jus sayin
[+5] u/jostradumass: my life depends on SPY 799 tmrw
[+5] u/Drchubbypanda: There is no AI moat. People will switch to Claude, Codex, Gemini, whoever is most generous or reliable.
[+5] u/magneticpasta9: Talking to this new coworker and he asked what I do for fun. I decided not to tell him about my secret life of a degenerate.
[+5] u/talaabo: As a black man who...nevermind wrong chat!
[+5] u/GuyFaulks77: Spy will never be below $700 again and that feels great
[+5] u/TraditionalRock9626: alright time to full port on CAR on open
[+5] u/CrustyBuckets: Fake meat is back on the menu???
[+5] u/sloanemonroe: What about flying the oil out of the strait in those pontoon water landing planes?
[+5] u/CJBlueNorther: Chances the market holds out until the Fed decision next week?
Then Powell the drops the hammer as his final act and the market plummets?
[+5] u/VeryMercurial: It’s amazing how there is always SOMETHING to save the market from actually having a reasonable retrace. Truly remarkable.
[+5] u/Clear-Edge1516: $DGXX will reprice and its going to rocket, I strongly believe this
[+5] u/Forward-Ad5608: Every time Barak Ravid posts some bullish nonsense the market always reacts. I thought these people were supposed to be smart?
[+5] u/BenisSpaghetti: What's the news on Schrodinger's strait? 👁️👄👁️
[+5] u/DeezCodeNutz: My plumbus appears to be broken.
[+5] u/Spear_n_Magic_Helmet: compressor in my fridge is dying a really loud death. 10 years of service, your watch has ended 🫡
[+5] u/sl3azebag: full porting QQQ 0dte calls tmrw k thanks bye
[+5] u/cfaawlday: My $CAR calls are printing baby 🤑🤑🤑
[+5] u/kwarknagel: So when does John Apple visit the White House to kiss the ring
[+5] u/Rude_Assistance_4386: TSLA earnings will be so bad, they will be the Black Swan that sends SPY to
>!800!<
[+5] u/CJBlueNorther: Everyone tried shorting the rebound from the crash last year and a follow up dip never came, the market just kept skyrocketing for 6 months straight.
I seriously don't understand why you bears think it's gonna be any different this time, it never is.
[+5] u/TinyAdhesiveness5773: close friend told me i got old. how do i explain its the rugpulls
[+10] u/somewhere_cool: Robinhood just enabled 24/5 index options trading. Y'all have bitched about not having this forever, look
[+10] u/Boheed: One thing is certain: insiders are going to make A LOT of money tomorrow
[+10] u/Striking-Fig924: Spoiler alert: Mango going on cnbc tmrw pre market to announce extension of ceasefire sending spy to 720
[+9] u/OM3N1R: I just got a letter that the private commercial real estate fund I have been invested in since 2016 (which has brought in 9-10% a year for 10 years) has suspended investor payouts. This is the majority of my monthly income (I am basically retired)
Fucking great news. There's even (legally) a chance I won't get my initial investment back (100k).
So Wife and I are probably going to have to move out of my condo, to rent it out, and move in with my in laws.
I'd like to personally thank mango for this glorious economy and stock market ATHs
[+8] u/SpecialistLie844: Diesel is 8.40 what the actual fuck
[+8] u/AKOnDaTrack: We are headed to a feudal system where the rich AI overlords horde all the wealth and the plebs have no other source of income besides serving the upper class
[+8] u/hettygreentypebeat: only real friends i have are these candles on my screen
[+8] u/Happy-n-Healthy: I guess the strait is back open since no one is saying anything
[+7] u/ActionNorth8935: I don't know. The world is falling apart and I am getting richer every day. Something seems wrong here.
[+7] u/TernTheNumbers: Warning: governments will soon require you to show ID to use your computer and tie all your activity to that ID. Microsoft, Apple, and SystemD Linux are implementing gatekeeping methods to comply. Switch to MX Linux or Void Linux if you don’t want this feature. Thank you for your attention.
[+7] u/Weekly_One8412: I doubt wallstreet will give up the gains they just locked the majority of traders out of... I think we will just see sideways movement until the next catalyst.
sorry bears.
[+7] u/OneLongjumping5743: dont let boomers tell you to not time the market, timing the market feels so much better than bag holding for 10 months
[+7] u/Fluid_Product6292: It’s different this time
[+6] u/Fun_lake_8433: Is there such a thing as too much insider trading? Or does it not matter, ever ? Will people keep putting money in the market no matter how clear it is the administration will make billions with insider info when it's over ?
[+6] u/Visible_Sentence_399: Why is everyone smoking weed on Hitlers birthday?
[+6] u/Both_Onion_9508: Trump speaking on cnbc squawk box an hour before open . $715 here we come
[+6] u/jmc774: Full port into fake meat and car rental companies
[+5] u/Star_Lord924: Good thing I sold my 709c for tomorrow at close today 😔😔
[+5] u/Infinite-Anybody204: If you bought IBM in 2000 youd have doubled your money. If you bought all birds two weeks ago youd have 4x your money. Theres a clearly better investment here
[+5] u/Level_Ad8089: One last rug pull. please daddy Trump
[+5] u/aqjingson: How come yall didn’t tell me about avis
[+5] u/undocumented_twerker: Heard Iran is smuggling oil out of the country by bringing in flat chested goth girls, then giving them huge implants filled with crude
[+5] u/BooBrew32: Vix up 8% today on literally nothing. That's not ominous at all.
[+5] u/AerieZealousideal330: *Barclays Downgrades Avis Budget to Underweight From Equal Weight, Raises Price Target to $150 From $95*
*So the downgraded the price 30% higher? Hello Ai bot.*
[+5] u/Coloradospruce33: 🥭 going to pump the shit out of market tomorrow
[+5] u/somewhere_cool: Ummm Robinhood just gave me the ability to gamble on SPX all night. This is bad
[+5] u/Sorry-Usual6906: Is there a possibility of war escalation, maybe?
[+5] u/madcowdiseasereeee: Tim Cook vs Jensen Huang bare knuckle boxing. who wins?
[+14] u/MagneticRetard: Cant wait to see what TACO is gonna cook up on cnbc
[+12] u/EndOfMuricanEmpire: Murica farting in a bag and pretending it’s air to stay alive rn.
[+12] u/100xOrBust: Futes looking suspiciously straight and real
[+11] u/Redditfortheloss: At the hospital with my wife, about to have our first child.
Looking at the contraction timer / heart rate chart and and I can’t help but think about a short squeeze once a contraction is set to come 😂
[+9] u/OG_L0c: my dream job is no job
[+9] u/AlarmedPelican: He can just grab them by the hormussy
They just let him do it
[+8] u/LasyKuuga: Istg the whole theme of 🥭s 2nd term is just
start a problem 0.2%📉
Reverse it 5%📈
[+8] u/patricktu1258: I really want to make fuck you money and just say fuck you to my boss
[+7] u/1337Scott: Remember when we all aped after one stock together 😢😢😢
[+7] u/perceptive_AI: Imagine if everyone just pick up any trash they see as they walk by.
[+7] u/readyreadyreadyready: CORN 🌽. That’s the only thing I trust right now. You can’t print it. You need to eat it. Africans, Mexicans, Gringos, even the Chinese eat it. And the pigs LOVE corn.
All in long corn
[+7] u/wallstreetsimps: Repeat after me:
SPY 👏 ONLY 👏 GOES 👏 UP
[+6] u/iMakeGOODinvestmemts: WHO ELSE IS FROM NEW ZEALAND
HIIII MY KIWI'S
[+6] u/OnlyBols: It’s going to be yuge. It’s going to be beautiful. Tomorrow we’re going to celebrate a pump like you wouldn’t believe. All time. Record breaking. Get ready because it’s going to be very very special.
[+6] u/Suavecore_: Should've bought calls for the 16th day in a row
[+6] u/Spy300: U.S. debt interest to revenue ratio reaches 33%
They have no choice but to inflate away the debt
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/HGZRsxba4AAlrt6?format=png&name=small
[+6] u/lVlindless: There's a 10x move somewhere out there.
Right now, there's some call or put that's ready to 1000% in the next couple of days.
[+6] u/scrap4crap: New ath yet again?
Believe it or not, calls
[+6] u/Warren_Buffetts_Alt: I happen to live next to a certain airbase that houses US bombers... its loud as shit tonight with all the planes flying. They never fly this late at night in such numbers. Iran going to get glassed on Wednesday. Problem is, I dont know what the market will do.
[+5] u/astrawberryandakiwi: Wish my brokerage offered after hours trading. Sigh
[+5] u/mikeplaystennis: Fake meat and car rental companies that loss a lot of money are the move tomorrow
[+5] u/Fullflavourfruit: I love how dumb markers are. I truly do.
But ASTS missing literally every deadline for years, its satellite get fucked up by BO which pushes the timeline out even more.
Yet it's still worth $30b before ever earning money. Goddam that's retarded.
[+5] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: damn surely we will open tomorrow
[+5] u/Square_Bridge_9784: How did you know to buy calls on Avis , prove to us you are not an Insider
[+5] u/Plus_Lawfulness3000: I have Amd puts. How retarded am I?
[+5] u/Joonypoo: I am a greedy MF every time I am up god damn
[+5] u/booose6: Its so funny how rigged this shit is
[+5] u/PushAble2463: Man I love beer. That is all. Oh and; bers fekd.
[+5] u/dumbest-bastard: Feeling cute, might pump the market tomorrow
[+5] u/OnlyBols: We did it boys. We're green.
[+5] u/socrates4eva: Tim Cook is stepping down at Apple this summer
[+5] u/IndependentAd4613: Remember, the market can stay gay longer than you can stay furry.
As for me, I'm strait and always open for business.
[+5] u/longspyleaps: shooting up $HOOD into my dick until earnings, who's with me?
[+5] u/unanymous2288: Trumpp just called himself the antichrist?
[+5] u/Square_Bridge_9784: Fake meat also wanna lease AI servers like ex shoe company.
[+12] u/Castopliani: BREAKING: US seizes Iranian ship full of big tiddy goth girls
[+10] u/whitewashedsyrian: lol all the “oil is still high” and “what about the war” comments are no where to be found. Bears are dead lmao
[+8] u/Ok-Organization1796: Buying puts because simply how long can it go on? Just a feeling in my loins. A bearish feeling in my testes.
[+8] u/FastCar_5: How long can the market ignore the difference between paper and the physical price of crude? Hint: the algos have no concept of spreads..
[+7] u/solariac: How did we go from extreme fear to almost extreme greed already in just 3 weeks? LMAO
[+7] u/Sea-Refrigerator7919: Spy 700 eod just a correction
[+7] u/kairepaire: Has any progress happened with the negotiations at all? Seems to me they have just flipflopped for 4 weeks now
[+7] u/SnooHedgehogs5162: Korea 65%
Nikkei 25%
SP500 5%
[+6] u/BeepBoopDep: You got your red day ber, time for another 13 days of green 😂
[+5] u/scm66: The Internet is a series of tubes
[+5] u/Objective_Echo_8670: The only short allowed here is oil puts!
[+5] u/Ltiform: 🐂 r fuk
until i get out of my 705P position
then 🐻 r fuk
[+5] u/lemuever17: Sometimes I just want to leave my wife and family behind, go to a new place and live quietly.
[+5] u/Ticksdonthavelymph: Go get milk no ones stopping you
[+5] u/sleepyguy007: tim cook knows how to get out at the top
[+5] u/Beneficial-Plum7541: 56k open interest on 4dte SPY puts. 🥭 has the chance to do the funniest thing ever
[+5] u/Demonic_Maidens: I would be a millionaire if only there was a magic button to push that would turn losses into profit.
FML
[+5] u/spellbadgrammargood: I can calculate the motion of heavenly bodies, but not the madness of people.
- Netwon, who lost $3million (in today's value)
[+5] u/Vicvega2018: My move tomorrow is CAVA
[+5] u/spellbadgrammargood: Can't wait til it all hits
[+5] u/Castopliani: I know what theta gang's theme song can be
CRAB PEOPLE, CRAB PEOPLE, TASTE LIKE CRAB, TALK LIKE PEOPLE
[+18] u/Moepenmoes: Good morning fellow high IQ and cute Europeans
[+12] u/RegJohn2: To anyone who hasn’t been here 2016-2020:
He will fuck up every position you’ll take.
Thanks for coming to my ted talk
[+11] u/surely_not_abot: Scammers impersonating as Iran demanding crypto fees for safe Hormuz passage -aljazeera
What a time.
[+10] u/imakesalotofmistakes: BREAKING NEWS... Tim Apple to be replaced as Apple CEO by John Apple.
[+8] u/MaxEhrlich: So we just hold everything for the next 6 months and then dump before October like last year?
[+8] u/a_human_21: I have been beating the index for 1 year, they call me the oracle of Wendy's
[+7] u/mingesniffa6969: Imagine a world if the Pope was hard on crime
[+6] u/Alternative-Set3147: Who up squawking they box?
[+6] u/aniote: Good morning to everyone except TSLA simps
[+6] u/Billionaire_Spencer: My meat keeps getting bigger and bigger
[+6] u/Diamondhands4dagainz: SPY will never be below 650 again
[+6] u/Sad_Estimate_6342: Here me out, NVDA to 203 today and MSFT to 426 just based on vibes
[+6] u/Bright_Albatross649: NEW ATHs PREPARE YOUR ANOOS
[+6] u/Haikoe: I just buy puts because I hate America, honestly
[+6] u/MAGA-Gladiator: i love how they move hundreds of millions of dollars just to liquidate my $100 prop evaluation.
[+6] u/sonofalando: Heard they’re hosting a 🌈 ber memorial in Tehran next week.
[+6] u/aniote: Japan allowing lethal arms export for first time since 1967, calls on Toyota tanks and Yamaha rocket launchers
[+6] u/aniote: Puts??? In this economy???
[+5] u/Loperenco: MSFT gonna rally to 440$ before ER, I feel it in my rectum
[+5] u/Inevitable_Estate459: Oh we are green for no reason again? SPY 720 eow is on the table now.
[+5] u/Ok-Awareness9475: Europoor here, 🥭 can’t keep getting away, opened 5x leveraged shorts.
[+5] u/ThisGuyEdward: Finish adding my portfolio on yahoo finance so I can blue ball myself
[+13] u/Small-Maintenance-65: The biggest trick the market ever played was convincing the world that the Strait of Hormuz mattered
[+12] u/According-Page8618: guys if SPY is on ATH and rallying, you dont buy spy. you buy shit stocks like MSTR / IONQ because they will randomly make +10% days for a week straight
[+10] u/Mighty-HeaIthy: # **DONNY PUMP LIVE ON CNBC SQUAWK BOX DOING THE ‘JERKING TWO GUYS OFF AT ONCE’ DANCE PUMPING HIS STOCK (SPY) LMAO BERS**
[+10] u/ShittyUsernane1222: the market has priced in a taco but not a reverse taco.
🥭 will double down on US-Iran war.
[+10] u/Traditional-Fan-3391: how tf is the market still pumping
[+9] u/Potential_Version_34: Remember Hugh Mungus?
What a legend. Wonder what he’s up to now
[+9] u/DriftMint: Mango and his buddies prob already sold and are loading up on puts for another pump&dump cycle
[+9] u/SolomonKings7: So, Mango today will either TACO and go with Iran's demands or start to bomb. In both cases stonks will pump, cuz AI
[+8] u/Maximum-Magazine-333: Commuting 3 hours for a 10 minute meeting
Feels the aura
[+8] u/Senior_Professional4: UnitedHealth [$UNH](https://x.com/search?q=%24UNH&src=cashtag_click) Group Earnings Summary (Apr 21, 2026)
EPS: $7.23 vs. $6.61 est. (+9% beat)
Revenue: $111.72B vs. $109.66B est. (+2% beat)
[+8] u/Jesoo_: the asts dip was free money
[+8] u/Ignis8919: Looks like my 715 calls might print
[+8] u/BFox1982: Daddy, what's a blow off top?
[+8] u/Inside-Brush-9543: How the fuck is that new halo 1 game not out yet wtf are they doing
[+8] u/Traditional-Fan-3391: SPY already going parabolic and it’s not even market open yet
[+8] u/eternalpuer: Spanish Inquisition?? Idk
[+7] u/UnknownM007: Gimme 715 by open and 720-725 by close. Thank you very much for your attention to this matter
[+7] u/melvinzee: Oil flowing through the strait + Warsh Fed cutting rates. SPY800
[+7] u/Competitive-Water944: Tim Cock
Satya Nutella
Jim Creamer
[+6] u/SeliciousSedicious: OPEN THE FUCKIN’ MARKETS, YOU CRAZY BASTARDS!
[+6] u/Due-Refrigerator2306: there are no red days anymore. only flat or +1.5%
[+6] u/sirkarmalots: Damn what if refunds of tariffs was always the plan to get corporations more money
Dude was playing 4D chess
[+6] u/__nameless____: bruh, this is not going to end well lmao so scary
[+6] u/Misrabligen: Just another sunny day in my life as a RKLB investor
[+6] u/SerodD: What is the probability that Mango shows up eating some fake meat burger and I can unload my bags on the next regard?
[+6] u/EasySunday: Unless its sacrificed kids meat very unlikely.
[+6] u/Jarlaxle_rigged_it: Find a wo/man that loves you as much as Avis Budget Group loves tearing apart ber anoos
[+5] u/Thebaxxxx: We went from letting random strangers in our homes to being paranoid about letting someone over after the 3rd date. Like night and day
[+5] u/daedalus_dance: Man, being a bear for even a day cost me so much money when its WRONG WRONG WRONG.
[+5] u/ShittyUsernane1222: its extremely bullish in here.
full port puts.
[+5] u/A55BAG: 🥭 will be appearing on CNBC’s Squawk Box. Possible pump event for PLTR, DJT, BTC?
[+5] u/VaIentineX: bye bears. sold a UNH put that will expire worthless
[+5] u/LargeBenefit1204: Will UNH pump more with the conference call?
[+5] u/Zeppu: Let's see what new scam they're preparing for us today.
[+5] u/Capt_Chickenpox: I might have overestimated the ability of netflix to V after their earnings
[+5] u/Roxorek: million green daily candles in a row
absolutely insane
[+5] u/FearlessStatement144: “ morning joe, we are having a huuuge obliteration watch party, no more mr nice guy..”. His kid has puts
[+5] u/Traditional-Fan-3391: It’s literally just going up in a straight libe
[+5] u/melvinzee: The USA delegation landed in Pakistan with their bear hunting rifles, and the Pakistani delegation have informed them that the past weeks were a mass extinction event.
[+5] u/Capt_Chickenpox: The thing is, last week there was room for shenigans, now Iran doesn't even have to do anything to cause uncertainty