▶ Full Post Text
[+22] u/big_chestnut: i stopped being a bear and suddenly life became easier.
[+15] u/GoZukkYourself: The S&P 500 is now up \~12.4% from the 3/30 low. Dating back to the modern S&P's establishment, just 33 trading sessions have seen the S&P gain by more over a similar number of days. 33 days out of \~16,800 observations.
https://preview.redd.it/9w0nlsp54tvg1.jpeg?width=948&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e240b622d0acbb0fae0c8835bf6cd35cc50974d4
[+12] u/geddyclaus: Chinese ships are doing a U-TURN and not passing through the strait.
[+12] u/BEAR_STEARNS_CEO: ~~650 ๐๐ป - "That's it, that's the top."~~
~~660 ๐๐ป - "That's it, that's the top."~~
~~670 ๐๐ป - "That's it, that's the top."~~
~~680 ๐๐ป - "That's it, that's the top."~~
~~690 ๐๐ป - "That's it, that's the top."~~
~~700 ๐๐ป - "That's it, that's the top."~~
~~710 ๐๐ป - "That's it, that's the top."~~
[https://wendys-careers.com/](https://wendys-careers.com/)ย ๐ Bers, you are here
[+11] u/GoZukkYourself: ~~650 ๐๐ป - "That's it, that's the top."~~
~~660 ๐๐ป - "That's it, that's the top."~~
~~670 ๐๐ป - "That's it, that's the top."~~
~~680 ๐๐ป - "That's it, that's the top."~~
~~690 ๐๐ป - "That's it, that's the top."~~
~~700 ๐๐ป - "That's it, that's the top."~~
~~710 ๐๐ป - "That's it, that's the top."~~
https://wendys-careers.com/ ๐ Bers, you are here
[+9] u/EasySunday: I don't care if it goes up or down but give me some volatility. This uni-direction is boring as shit.
[+9] u/bearhunter429: #SPY up 8.5% in 2 weeks since Pam Bondi got fired LMAO๐ค
[+8] u/Muted-South4737: Fraud is more fun when you're on the right side of it.
[+8] u/Worried_Quarter469: Trump shocked Netanyahu with post declaring Lebanon strikes "prohibited"
Is this a legitimate dementia situation?
Both Iran and Israel are saying these conversations never happened
[+7] u/diefy7321: โโโโโโ
โโโโโโ๏ผผ๐ป๏ผ
โโโโโโ /
โโโโโโใ)
โโโโโโ
โโโโโโ **BERS TODAY**
โโโโโโ
โโโโโโ
โโโโโโ
โโโโโโ
โปโปโปโปโปโป
[+7] u/bearhunter429: #Pam Bondi's dow comment was the top and her getting her ass fired was the bottom LMAO๐ค
[+7] u/delicious_oppai: Too pussy to hold calls over the weekend ๐คฃ
[+7] u/fe2sio4: What a week. Blew up my account on Monday on puts , deposited more money on Tuesday and blew up again on puts. Deposited more money Wednesday and went full calls and now almost broke even for the week lol
[+7] u/SquatAndFlex: Bought atm weekly SPY puts at close, highly regarded?
[+6] u/awetfartruinedmylife: go to fuck yourselves
[+6] u/SerialStrategist: At about 15% now on MSFT. Do I take profit or hold through earnings?
Downvote for take profit. Upvote for hold through earnings.
[+5] u/bobbyd121: enriched uranium is going to spoil the party. hope yinz bought puts
[+5] u/Stack_Johnson: I got my ass kicked this week, but Iโm honestly happy to see some of you turn $1k into $200k this week. Thatโs what this place is all about ๐ค
[+5] u/geddyclaus: He can butcher policy (start a war, jack up tariffs, etc)ย
He can create global turmoilย
He can mess with people's livesย
He can then backtrackย
Markets go even higher than they were before mango screwed around.ย
ย
Lesson to be learned: Expect mango to screw around even more
[+5] u/CalRippedken: The beatings will continue until bers apologize
[+5] u/AirportMaterial5917: hey at least it's not a long weekend
[+5] u/kiwicanuck-: I ain't fn done, open the casino back up
[+5] u/bearhunter429: #Pam Bondi was the only thing keeping the market down LMAO๐ค
[+64] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: One of my friends died today in his sleep. Cancer. Tell the ones you care about you love them, lifeโs too short. Love all of you regards, grateful for this weird safe space. Touch some grass this weekend ok
[+37] u/Itchy_Election_5327: lost 8k, but i got 8 upvotes this morning so i feel ok
[+28] u/shower_optional: Tomorrow - strait not actually open
Sunday - Strait ACTUALLY open for real pinky promise
Monday - SPY 725
[+22] u/CharmingSoil: Sounds like there's no actual agreement on anything and the war could start back at any minute. So, more ATHs next week.
[+20] u/burrowed_greentext: TIL being "gay" is really just a difference in ur brain that makes u like the same gender it has nothing to do with the markets
[+18] u/NotMe357: "BREAKING: Just 20 minutes before TACO's announcement that the Strait of Hormuz was open, massive trades hit the market.
Investors sold a combined 7,990 lots of Brent crude futures, โa $760 million bet that oil would go down.
These orders were much larger than anything else at the time.
The traders made huge gains.
Unusual."
OK! Which one of you did that?!
[+18] u/moosewithamuffin: Turned 1.5k into 8k thanks to this sub. I know itโs not a lot but feels good man!
[+17] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: Iranian Foreign Ministry Spokesperson: The opening and closing of the Strait of Hormuz does not happen in cyberspace; Iran is the one who determines this.
https://x.com/osinttechnical/status/2045224115255103733?s=46
Lmfao what a shitshow
[+17] u/hv876: What does my wifeโs boyfriend mean when he says โstrait was never closed for himโ?
[+15] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: Recap:
- ๐ฎ declares complete victory
- markets rip; oil tanks
- ???
- Iran issues several statements clarifying their position, namely that 1) the Strait is open to vessels they allow to pay them for safe passage and 2) under no circumstances are they allowing enriched uranium out of the country
*What exactly have we accomplished?*
[+14] u/AdjustDeezNutz: I bought 720 lotto calls for Monday. Probably going to be the first red Monday since this whole fiasco began.
[+13] u/Actual_Difference617: MMs learned lessons from 2025 tariff fiasco.I am not coping or anything but they are prepping for a dump. The price action and everything states that they are pumping the market as much as they can so retail load onto calls.
How come suddenly there is no AI concerns, no SaaS concerns, No debt concerns for hyperscalers, macros donโt even matter at all, there are no legal concerns for Meta and google.
This is just to take the money from bearish retailers from Iran war. Keep pumping on the excuse of same news worded differently. They will dump, then bulls will keep buying the dips but it will keep dumping. May be 1 week, 2 weeks, 3 weeks nobody knows.
[+13] u/_dudehangsdong: Stait was never openedโฆ Israel still bombing Lebanonโฆ and you swung calls?!?!?
[+12] u/Actual_Difference617: โ we will get free oil from Iranโ
โIran will give all its uraniumโ
โstrait is completely openโ
โDeal is going swimminglyโ
โIran called us today and said they want to make a dealโ
โChina promised me they wonโt give Iran any weaponsโ
These are all lies. He had to basically order Israel for ceasefire on Lebanon to bring Iran to table again. Israel is pissed about it. Iran said strait is open only till Lebanon ceasefire and ships will have to pay toll. Iran said uranium is like sacred soil to them so there is not a chance to hive it US. Why keep the blockade on for so long and keep increasing pressure on chinese and arabian banks by threatening sanctions if they help Iran. Pakistan said still lot more to be done for the peace deal.
[+12] u/ebfeebfe: SPY up +13% in two weeks on the news that nothing changed.
[+12] u/Madsen13140: Ber so salty he does not share loss porn
[+12] u/Moepenmoes: Massive calls on Mango saying this weekend, outside market hours, that Iran is not sticking to the agreement
[+11] u/sloanemonroe: No doubt the insiders knew the opening of Hormuz announcement was coming today as early as Monday. No other reason for the massive rally.
[+11] u/Aggressive-Ad-2707: Strait is open - SPY +2%
Strait is closed - SPY +0.1%
Strait is open once again - SPY +2%
Strait is closed again - SPY +0.1%
Repeat
This is what last two weeks felt like
[+10] u/Itchy_Election_5327: i gotta be the only mf that lost money on calls today
[+10] u/strombollimaker545: The ships are turning around
https://x.com/osinttechnical/status/2045215990632362430?s=46
[+10] u/Valkorion335786: Bers getting bankrupted is almost a big guarantee as meeting a Vietnamese girl named Vivian lmao
[+10] u/Moepenmoes: BREAKING: Iran continues to limit the amount of ships allowed through and only after paying toll
\- Wall Street Journal
[+10] u/bluen: Jet fuel cannot melt deez stonks
[+10] u/A10cc: So there were no tolls before this stupid ass war started. Now there are tolls and oil is higher, yet we are at ATH's. This is fucking retarded.
SPY900
[+9] u/ilikemgs: I yoloโd 10k $709 calls at open. Turned it into 30k. If I didnโt take scales out I woulda had 50k
Iโm gonna celebrate tonight, biggest day gain ever for me
[+9] u/gayforgoblin: I wanna be a millionaire so fucking bad
[+9] u/Infinite-Anybody204: ๐ป loading up on puts for the 12th day in a row with the logic โIts gotta come down sometimeโ ๐คก (I bought puts for next week)
[+9] u/Actual_Difference617: Immediately after Iranโs 2:00 pm statement to clarify that strait is only open till Lebanon ceasefire and ships will be subjected to tolls, UN chiefs tweeted โI welcome the complete opening of the strait of hormuzโ. Lol everyone is in on it.
[+8] u/EarlyPattern6315: BERS WERE ASKING FOR CIRCUIT BREAKERS ON LAST SUNDAY ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
[+8] u/ILoveWesternCenter: Congrats to the generational BIRD bagholders!
[+8] u/Independent_Drop4317: Can we trade in our spy700 hat for spy800 hat somewhere?
[+8] u/old-cow666: Bought some small puts , donโt trust ๐ฎ๐ฑ
[+8] u/Beagle001: Yes, Bers. We know the ships appear to be turning around. No we cannot explain why therefore oil isn't spiking and SPY falling. Nobody here can answer that question for you. Stay tuned. Going to be a whole weekend to get updates.
[+8] u/Moepenmoes: Iran: Ships will have to pay toll even after a deal
\- Wall Street Journal
[+7] u/nickpufferfish: Guys did you here ๐ฅญ said Iran is handing over it's uranium for free and that the strait is open wdym ships are turning around spy to 720 Monday!!!!!
[+7] u/Comfortable-Sky7801: MU still barely moved from where it peaked in February and March pre earnings, if you bought then you basically made a round trip
meanwhile SNDK is shooting up like a crack addict ๐
[+7] u/gayforgoblin: Going kayaking in the Strait of Hormuz this weekend to celebrate ๐ฅณ
[+7] u/Unlucky-Design-6564: Ngl if i weren't so retarded i could have made so much better this week
[+7] u/sanndman: Cubans, are you ready to be liberated, TACO style?
[+7] u/No_Cod972: Never be the least retarded person in a room.
[+7] u/DefiantDelta: too many all caps/big bold text posters with nothing to say came out of the woodwork this week. red days are so much better
[+7] u/abroadbroadband: Next stop:
SPY 800
# ๐บ๐ธ๐ซก
[+6] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: "Mythos Preview has already found thousands of high-severity vulnerabilities, including some in *every major operating system and web browser*. Given the rate of AI progress, it will not be long before such capabilities proliferate, potentially beyond actors who are committed to deploying them safely. The falloutโfor economies, public safety, and national securityโcould be severe. Project Glasswing is an urgent attempt to put these capabilities to work for defensive purposes."
this literally sounds like a script from a dystopian sci fi - what a time to be alive in the simulation
[+6] u/ev01ution: My wife thinks Iโm stress about work but only you guys know what Iโm stress about.
[+6] u/sjtomcat: This market is fake and gay, full porting puts next week this nonsense needs to stop
[+6] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: Bulls didn't just win the day, or the week.
They won the whole market.
[+6] u/Fhyzikz: Fidelity called me just now to let me know that all of my cash is currently uninvested in my 401k (Has been for several weeks) and that "money market rates are expected to go down". Very sus. This has never happened before. We gonna crash fucking HARD soon
[+6] u/DiqTaterr: Cant believe i paperhanded BULL and lost $50, could be up bigly, like a whole $50
[+6] u/PulIthEld: My path to millionaire:
Saved up $15k, gf saved $15k, borrowed $30k from her parents.
Put $60k down on a $582k house using an 80-10-10 loan.
7 years later... divorced. Sold house for $1.2 million. Received $310,000 cash.
Bought 10 Bitcoin at about 28k average.
Sold a few this past cycle and went in to stocks. Also recently bought 1BTC at 70k.
Now I have 8 Bitcoin and $152k in stocks and $330k in my 401k and about 10k in my bank.
616k+152k+330k+10k= 1,108,000
[+6] u/PositiveToe2761: Saw a ber on the side of the road this morning in a cardboard box behind Wendyโs๐ฅฒ, with a sign that said โblowies for 0dteโsโ. I gave him $10 and said โyour gonna buy 710 calls rights? He responded โyou donโt understand thereโs a gap at 660โ. ๐คฆโโ๏ธI snatched my money back and reminded him that some gaps never get filled.
[+6] u/hermeskino715: Buy calls at open
Buy any 5min dip
Profit
Lambos.
Yes, plural
[+6] u/astromouse2024: Today was so insanely bullish that even my DIS calls printed
[+6] u/No_Current3675: Well, boys. It was a good week.
[+6] u/_rockthemike: To all the bears who were shitting on me when I said to buy leaps at SPY 635.
Fuck you
[+6] u/kjl8921: Stock market ATH. Rich only get richer. Meanwhile Iโm praying that I donโt get laid off next month. ๐คก shit
[+6] u/justaddcatalyst: SPY 660 here we come
[+6] u/BreadfruitOk6788: Time for a ๐ฅญ empty threat
[+6] u/Mammoth-Librarian580: 13 days green nasdaq in a row. Henceforth I call next week 3 red days in a row to give up half of that gain, considering nothing has changed since before. Just a big manipulation. Probably insiders already overloaded puts.
[+5] u/Nervous-Sky2414: Iran disputes Orange. Says the enriched "dust" isn't being transferred anywhere. Source- Israel Times.
[+5] u/Fit-Marionberry5248: I am totally against market manipulation, but if i am on the right side of trade, i DEFEND it
[+5] u/dljmonkeyboiz: JPow was a lil bitch for not raising rates to combat inflation. What the fuck is a $20 McDonaldโs meal.
[+5] u/6poundsoverweight: Up 1100 on the day and gave back 800 of it. I deserve to not have money:/
[+5] u/Noble_Bastard: It's been 14 minutes without the market, and I already miss her. This weekend is going to be brutal. Fuck.
[+5] u/Valkorion335786: Losing money on poots this past week is crazy work
[+5] u/kodaksdad2020: Bears last hope - last 13 consecutive Green Dayโs was the peak of the dot com bubble. Maybe this semi move told us something
I donโt believe this to be true but interesting
[+5] u/Stunning-Dig-8916: Someone was telling me earlier that mm were gonna pull all their cash out for the weekend?
[+5] u/Useful_Donut6789: if it dips at all, ppl on the sideline who missed out and underwater shorts closing are going to contribute heavy buying pressure. the trend is your friend
[+5] u/pickledmagahead: I didnโt sell my calls
[+5] u/Hot_Avocado_2701: At what point does orange guy think this is too much green I need to put out a tweet to bring the market down?
[+5] u/GeoBro3649: Lmao. Ships are turning around at the mouth of the Strait.
[+5] u/Montyprice7206: This weekend my vessel is going to enter the strait of hermuff ๐ข๐ค
[+5] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: Tragic week for BERS indeed.
[+5] u/bulk_logic: SPY going to 629 to 712 in less than 3 weeks is absolutely fucking insane
[+5] u/AcademicStandard3701: What kinda of craziness did bols pull out of their ass this week for all this green. BRAVO ๐
[+5] u/LossMax: Seeing bears say "holding my 710 spy puts". Makes me so fucking happy i could cry
[+5] u/OrdinaryMix4013: markets fake as melonia's green card marrriageee and the attempt on taco back in July LMAOOOOOOOOO
[+5] u/Useful_Donut6789: **breaking news**: the International Union for Conservation of Nature has officially classified Bears as critically endangered (CR) with the highest risk of extinction in the wild
[+5] u/DesignerSea494: Humans donโt necessarily believe whatโs true. They believe what lets them continue to function.
[+5] u/magneticpasta9: I received a warning from Reddits mods regarding my vulgar language towards bers yesterday. Just had a few drinks wanted to say I'm sorry ber. Ur loss porn is pain enough
[+5] u/FatFluffyFish: Recap of today:
Whoremooz open: SPY rips
Near noon: actually lmao no, SPY drops a little
Infinite money glitch, truly a tale as old as time by stable genius
[+5] u/Impossible_Top242: By far my best day , picked up nvda 202.5 calls last night . They printed this morning . Sold 23 cents off the high for the day . Then grabbed spy 0dte 712 calls and sold right at its peak before it balanced . What a fucking day . Not only became profitable this week but doubled my portfolio in 2 days
[+5] u/LeftBullTesty: SPY at $690 - โIt will hit 695 and pull back downโ
SPY at $700 - โIt will hit 705 and crash back downโ
SPY at $710 - โMonday will be red dayโ
You should journal this stuff, Ber. Maybe then you will see how regarded you sound.
[+5] u/pickledmagahead: Remember how it was 700 and we thought 710 was a jokeโฆ
[+5] u/sonofalando: Just want to take a minute and thank everyone for getting laid off so my stonks can go up ๐ค
[+19] u/One-Process-6547: This week in a nutshell:
Money Monday
TACO Tuesday
Winning Wednesday
Triple it Thursday
Fuck them bears Friday
[+14] u/razor164: The relentless pump today makes +1.3% feel red lol
[+13] u/weewoowewoooo: So the strait isnโt even open as ships are turning around? Lmfao where does the market even get its news from?
[+13] u/Swiftnice: ๐ฅญ and his friends definitely loaded up on puts after this run. All they have to do is sabotage the talks and they make billions. Or just pay BB to fire a few missiles and claim self defense haha
[+12] u/orsomeshitidk: There needs to be designated shopping hours at stores for people who arenโt fucking fat retards and have been in public before. And if you fuck around during those hours your privileges get permanently revoked and you gotta shop with the fat retards again.
[+11] u/ALittleWorseEveryday: Went from 66k to 92k this week. Brings my 6 month chart back up >!to negative $390,000!< we got this boys keep punchin๐ฅ
[+11] u/Zestyclose-Bit271: When the market goes up for no reason, it can also go down for no reason. Bulls always forget that sneaky little thing
[+11] u/RickySitts: I held everything cuz im a greedy pig bastard
[+11] u/Striking-Cattle3255: I made over $200k on HIMS in last couple of weeks. Today I felt something was off and sold my entire port. Cash gang now
[+11] u/AdCritical5383: **CNBC:** โNasdaq posts longest win streak since 1992.โ
**BER:** *\*spits out cock*\* โItโs my time to shine ๐โ
[+10] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Regard analysts on CNBC now saying great time to buy! but when SPY was 630 two weeks ago they were all nowhere to be found
[+9] u/wyudtix: Be honest with me chat..I have 709 SPY puts expiring on Monday. Am I cooked or is there hope?
[+9] u/McClintockC: The sheer volume of bearhunter posts this afternoon
#LMAO ๐ค
[+9] u/River_Sandhu: Enjoying this 13 day rally a little too much. Watching Margin Call to remind myself things can get ugly in a hurry ๐
[+8] u/Sam_Vicious2: Puts on Amazon, they literally just delivered me an empty package
[+8] u/CPA-hole: Time to motorboat some giant titties
[+8] u/Phildoug18: "WSJ: Iran told mediators it will continue restricting ship traffic through the Strait of Hormuz and charge tolls during the cease-fire. Vessels must coordinate with the IRGC, which can still block ships from countries Iran considers hostile. Tehran also wants collecting fees."
SPY is a pretty terrible spy
[+8] u/Slabbed1738: Does 14days of green just make RSI 100 lol
[+8] u/poopieuser909: when can we get flairs for witnessing SPY hitting 700
[+8] u/DrummerCompetitive20: Tsla has negative fcf lol. How is this crap stock not $45
[+8] u/PositiveAdagio891: Spy 710โฆ what the fuck did I miss. Coulda sworn it was at 620 a few days ago
[+8] u/Fast-Steak-7730: SPY moving like a goddam tech company
[+8] u/Get_dat_money: You guys ever look back on a week where you made good money, and just be pissed off you didn't make more?
[+7] u/pmotiveforce: I see we are moving on from "lies about the war" to "lies about how well everything is going". Fun.
[+7] u/maikaubay: sending bers back to the stone age
[+7] u/Odd-Block-2998: Fun fact: We are now officially tie for 2nd longest consecutive green days for QQQ in history (13 days).
The last time it happened was at January 1992.
Guess the longest consecutive green days? 19 days in December 1990.
We are looking at an once-in-30-years trend here.
[+7] u/cashflow_: My ex unblocked me from Instagram randomly which is weird. Saw her in my suggested friends list. In Colombia they always block you after a breakup so you donโt see them post pics going out with other dudes
[+7] u/Slow-Information-847: X has it, $760mm worth of oil short created 20 mins before he announced the strait was open.
[+7] u/Meanboy_og: Way too bullish in hereโฆ ya.
[+7] u/Tonydjole: yo yo my bulls, are we having good time? ๐ฅณ ๐ฅณ ๐ฅณ
[+7] u/apurimac777: As a raccoon it was a good day today, the port is doing very well, I didnt get smoked being gay at all (even though 700p 4/17 looked like free money before gamma dump fridays) and no one tried to cut my dick off
[+7] u/OG_L0c: if even I am making money, this can't be good for the stock market
[+7] u/Sandvicheater: Trump to Iran, "give us your nukes"
Iran, "suuurrreee here's all of them"
Trump, "also your enriched uranium"
Iran, "lol fuck off or we start torpedoing your oil ships again"
this entire war is a joke
[+7] u/yeedub: Anyone load up hard on puts at the close ?
[+7] u/DuckLIT122000: Timing the market went great. Now I just need to do it again forever
[+7] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Iran embassy: "A strait that is "FULLY OPEN" is a contradiction. If it were fully open, it would be called Mar-a-Lago (open to anyone with $200,000)."
They may have lost the war but their memes are on point. SPY 800 EOM
[+6] u/chikenbeer: Buying dirt cheap puts all the way up. Bought some more today.
[+6] u/Locke_____Lamora: Man what a day. Caught CAR after the morning dump (worked like clockwork all week) for 15k gain and my may oil puts made me like 150% for a 15k gain and in my fun account my MU calls i sold at the beginning of the day were like a 2k gain. Nothing like going into the weekend big green.
[+6] u/lantern735: Will we have another red day ever again???
[+6] u/tragicmike: Mondays market will be determined if mangos AI memes this weekend are fire or flops
[+6] u/Few_Egg3567: The first thing they sent through the strait were Shrek diks
[+6] u/mtnrnnr802: I think I peaked as a 35yo male this week
[+6] u/chikenbeer: If you're using AI to trade.. just remember claude told me to buy puts at the bottom.
[+6] u/Remarkable_Owl: Mangogoโs weekend Truth of an AI image of himself as the Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) will send SPY to an ATH.
[+6] u/Swiftnice: I can't believe there wasn't much profit taking today. He's going to sabotage it or Israel will. haha
[+6] u/Swiftnice: I assume everyone here is going to be outside all weekend enjoying the spring weather and not be in here while starring at the bitcoin and weekend oil charts? lol
[+6] u/darahs: Almost blew my account today being short calls on costco
[+6] u/Ancient_Let7878: Glad to have no open positions now I can actually be a human
[+6] u/jasperCrow: If we get a peace deal Monday I think thatโs the sell the news event.
[+6] u/McClintockC: Manipulate deez nuts
[+5] u/MarcosTrujillo: Yes, the post-truth phenomenon that has been happening in society at large for the past few years is spilling over into the market. The level of disconnection from reality and cold cynicism is just overwhelming. I cannot help but roll my eyes when I see 1 of these "bulls" saying stuff like, "but we are the main oil producer on the planet"... like bro, do you even supply-demand? Or the other one I love is "AI is based in real money, not like the sorry .com bubble riding on credit." The point is not credit vs. cash, the point is what does the "AI revolution" have to show in exchange for having swallowed a significant portion of global GDP? A slightly better search experience and social media slop? The technology is in its infancy, for god's sake, e.g. the investment in datacenters may be for nothing if a 10x more efficient algorithm comes out tomorrow. I could on and on... but hey, I'm just a perma-bear who doesn't realize that "stonks always go up bro" (insert bear-suck-it-up meme). Yes, I did lose money trying to short it, but **if I had been on the other side of the trade, I would have been looking at this with sober solemnity rather than elation.**
drum roll:
Welcome to the POST TRUTH MARKET brought to you by the corruption from the administration and manipulation by big market players at large (god knows we are only seeing the very tip of the iceberg), and the stampede of retail speculators and half-educated "traders". After all, look who we have elected as president, what is to be expected from the average retail and professional investor?!
[+5] u/Low_Plastic363: Bears demand reparations after that devastating unprovoked attack.
[+5] u/Impressive-Name5129: So ๐ฅญ ๐ฎed and now the strait is closed again
Typical manipulation
[+5] u/No_Fig_7835: when are the ships going to actually start crossing the strait, my 99 suburban needs cheaper gas.
[+5] u/Unemployable1593: ๐คฃ bulls think that making a little money overshadows their insufferable personalities
[+5] u/greyenlightenment: like Covid again or 2025 where the market not only recovers the losses in a V shape but then keeps going
[+5] u/BigBattyFatty: I gave evyrhing away this hurts more than Mdma comedown
[+5] u/BFox1982: If I were a chick, I'd get my tits out constantly.
[+5] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: Do you guys ever get sad when you take profits because I do a little
[+5] u/SilverPrivateer: You know he wants to be remembered as the man who was pres when spy when to 1k+ right? You know how much he will crime it to get that as a part of his legacy?
[+5] u/Fluid_Product6292: When do we get to be bears?? Iโm bullish af but we can be bearish soon no? Or is that just a false belief and a bad idea
[+5] u/wow247897: 760m worth of oil shorts opened 20 minutes before the straight of hormuz was re-opened ;0
[+5] u/ChinCheckUrFartBox: Whats the over/under odds of cheeto man doing/saying something dumb this weekend so we go red next week?
[+5] u/gotcreme: Amazing week +11%, now back to trenches ๐ซก
[+5] u/guzzledglizzy: I just need an emo wasian muscle mommy to tell me she likes me. Is that too niche?
[+5] u/yushey__: Got puts please pay man. Iโm sick of this
[+5] u/orsomeshitidk: The brand of dog food I get is up to like $65 a bag bro. Bout to have to put one of these free loading ass dogs down lmao
[+5] u/D1finalboss: Got my ass cheeks clapped for two weeks straight, can hardly walk anymore. Making my face a chair for the weekend
[+5] u/bemeandnotyou: ๐ฅญgetting front run again by the Iranians is comical, he has to negate whatever they say in order to have the scope. Can't heavily profit from illegal trading if u can't front run the news. fkn ๐คก
[+5] u/Hellmale: Last night went to local Casino and lost $6k. I should have stayed with HOOD. ๐คจ
[+16] u/Artistic_Chicken_557: The best thing about losing 700k in one year is the crazy tax savings you get for the next 233 years
#taxsavings
[+16] u/PropheticMurmurs: There were multiple 100 baggers this week.
TSLA calls, SPY calls, HIMS calls.
And guess what? I hit none of them.
[+14] u/MasterElite1: - Do a weekend of a ceasefire and get your puppet fed chair confirmed on Tuesday.
- Have the vote the week after / immediately
- Blow up kharg island, invade, send oil to 300.
- Tweet at your puppet fed chair to cut.
- He hikes 25 bps to establish credibility.
- Then he cuts to 1%.
โ
๏ธ This is how you devalue your debt via **financial repression**.
[+13] u/powerboner: I called the gamblind addiction hotline and got hung up on LMFAOOOO. Iโm not even joking. Guess itโs a sign, Iโll be back Monday!
[+12] u/kim82352: > "Iran's enriched uranium is absolutely not supposed to be transferred anywhere. To the same extent that Iranian soil is important and sacred to us, this matter is also important to us. So this is completely rejected."
> Iranian FM spokesperson Esmaeil Baghaei on American claims about transferring enriched uranium: The issue of transferring uranium with 20 percent enrichment is not on the table at all. This discussion has never been raised.
[+11] u/Antique_Cabinet8416: underrated moment of this absurd week was kegsbreath quoting a fake bible verse from pulp fiction
[+11] u/Star_Lord924: 715+ open monday morning.
[+11] u/Special-Age6210: Broke the screenshot rule... paying the fucking price for it.. decided to double down.
[+11] u/Slow-Recipe1438: SPY is up 34% since one year ago without anything about the real economy improving at all.
[+10] u/Sharp-Direction-6894: I've got 1000 shares of NVDA that I've been holding since they were 99.36. I'll sell them when they are at 1000.
[+10] u/looool_k_libtard: Allbirds is going to buy Microsoft soon
[+10] u/Shoganai_Hito: Made a $5 profit from $500 option trade today
Was down $250 at one point
Life is good
[+9] u/wattap: #which oil bull will be delivering my door dash order tonight
[+9] u/Vlisa: This has been the toughest month of my life. Was banned for a month and missed shitposting in this subreddit for the entire war. ๐๐๐
[+9] u/Shoganai_Hito: Oof i was bullish on spy until now
[+8] u/DarkR124: Now all ๐ฅญ has to do is STFU for the weekend and we can continue pumping Monday. Thatโs just common sense so heโll probably say something Sunday night.
[+8] u/SnooCompliments4883: SPY $675 Monday. Some shit is gonna happen this weekend I just know it.
[+8] u/ismebbb: We just had the longest win streak on qqq history
[+8] u/Hairy-Literature8672: Been waiting all week for some red days to deploy my dry powder...but no red days. I guess those boglefucks are right about timing the market.
[+8] u/Country_Gravy420: Yeah. And that's pretty much a lock, right?
Right?
[+7] u/tomato232: RDDT, ORCL, and MSFT are ready for liftoff ๐๐๐
Strong, profitable, growing businesses at half price. Each can 3x this year.
[+7] u/collegefootballfan69: Behrs complaining that the market is rigged. Just like old times. Its good to be back!
[+7] u/Shoganai_Hito: rklb on the rise and asts on the decline
oof
[+7] u/Objective_Back_2581: Imagine the S&Pโthe asset that has an average annual return of 8%โrising 5% in a single week and you lose everything. Thatโs pure regardium.
[+7] u/Shoganai_Hito: Idk wtf spy 0dtes are but they made me $10k this week.
Life pretty good
[+7] u/davidbigham: Just need to block another strait next week. Then SPY 800
[+7] u/All_FIREdUp: I wear a diaper during market hours so I donโt miss any action and honestly I kind of like it
[+7] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: U.S. President Donald Trump:
"I ended 8 wars, and maybe a little early to say this but if we add Iran and Lebanon, that will be 10 wars ended. Think of how many lives we've saved."
So basically Mango increases his "wars stopped" count by starting and finishing when he gets bored....hmm,interesting....he thinks this is some kind of video game where gets points for doing this stuff?
[+7] u/NewlyOld31: If you lost money this week while it literally just went straight up nonstop you need to consider another hobby. Lol
[+6] u/Slightlybadpicks: I lost money today. A lot of money. AMA.
[+6] u/nascarhero: Iโm not tired of winning yet, thank you ๐ฅญ
[+6] u/-medicalthrowaway-: โInflation is fake.โ - some f****t
[+6] u/aqjingson: Spy 710 who woulda thunk it
[+6] u/FewFroyo9834: Yes and it is not working out :/
[+6] u/DesticularDorsion: My puts will print, inshallah.
[+5] u/Smuvmuniz: Why is it still going up
[+5] u/Thin_Response_2689: Monday will just be another casual +1-2% day
[+5] u/spectra444: I genuinely think weโre gonna see 720+ next week if everything with this peace deal goes right
[+5] u/Shoganai_Hito: Guy next to me on the train asked ChatGPT what is a ber?
ChatGPt responded with someone that likes to lose money (e.g ๐ป๐)
[+5] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: I told an oil bull he should probably get out when oil was at $103 and he made fun of me.
Heโs currently crashing out on the oil sub rn, hilarious to watch.
Donโt bet against the USA baby.
[+5] u/PeachScary413: โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โขโขโ โ โ ปโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โกฐโฃโฃโฃทโฃงโฃโฃ
โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โฃ โฃณโฃโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃฟโกฟโฃโ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ โ โฃณโขทโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโฃโ โ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โ โขขโกนโฃฟโขทโฃฏโขฟโขทโกซโฃโ โขฐโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโขโขโ คโฃโ โ ฟโฃโฃโกฏโกโขโ โขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโ โขโขโฃฏโฃฟโฃฟโกฒโกคโกโกคโ โกโข โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโ โ โกณโฃฏโฃฟโฃฟโฃพโขตโฃซโขโขโ โขโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโ โขจโฃซโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโฃฟโฃปโขโกโกโก
โขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโ โขโขพโฃพโฃฟโฃฟโฃโฃโขฏโกชโกณโกโขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโ โขธโขฝโฃฟโฃทโฃฟโฃปโกฎโกงโกณโกฑโกโขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโกโขจโฃปโฃฝโฃฟโฃโฃฟโฃโฃโกฝโกธโกโขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโกโขโขโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกฟโฃโกตโกฃโฃโขธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโกฃโฃโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฏโกฏโกบโฃผโ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃงโ โกตโฃปโฃโฃฏโฃฟโฃทโฃโฃโขโกฟโขนโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโขโกบโฃฝโขฟโฃปโฃฟโฃโกทโฃนโขฉโขโขฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโ โ ชโฃฏโฃโฃฟโขฏโฃฟโฃปโฃโขโขโ โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโกโ โขฃโฃปโฃฝโฃฟโฃฟโฃโฃพโกฎโกบโกธโ ธโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โฃฟโฃฟโกฟโ โ โ โ โขโกณโฃฝโกพโฃฟโขฝโฃฏโกฟโฃฎโขโฃ
โ นโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟ
โกฟโ โ โ โ โ โขโ โ โฃโขฟโกฟโฃฟโฃฝโขฟโกฝโฃงโฃณโก
โ โ ปโฃฟ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โกโ ฑโกฑโฃปโกปโฃโฃฎโฃโฃฟโฃปโฃโฃปโกบโฃ
Finally its the weekend.
[+5] u/Celticsmoneyline: GOOGL vs AMZN vs MSFT
pick one winner
[+5] u/Slightlybadpicks: No I did not lose shit ton of money today buying puts. I lost shit ton of money on POS NFLX calls.
[+5] u/lax_street: Not a permabear but I expected some sort of pullback this week. Got blasted selling credit spreads. switched to debit for next week. Hopefully I don't get F'd in the A
[+5] u/MaresATX: How many of you regards are trapped this weekend
[+5] u/Dangerous_Pie_3338: โCash until this all clears upโ people from last week, please apply soothing cream to torn butthole
[+5] u/Flat-Focus7966: SPY 999 in a month & then rejects 1000 to go to 650
Nothing is impossible
[+5] u/GreenGameboyColor: Time to go on a Johnny Sins marathon
๐๐ซณ๐ฟ
[+5] u/Rosella2562: Couldnโt be in cash gang tbh - Iโd rather be in the game & lose my cash in the thrill of 0DTE calls ๐๐ป
[+5] u/Star_Lord924: There is gonna be all sorts of peace talks and agreements and promises made over thr weekend and sunday night SPY is already gonna be up half a percent once 8pm hits sunday evening and fomo is gonna tickle everyone's taint more so then today and monday morning SPY hits 718 before settling down a little
[+5] u/bzl33: the job bloodbath in tech is going to be bad because I don't think the number of layoffs will be as significant as forecasted but companies will hire less and the ones that stay will have to do the work of multiple people.
[+5] u/tocinoman: I bought ITM 0DTE SPY and lost. Rough finish
[+5] u/Weak_Money_9927: Amazon bro we were doing so good๐คฆโโ๏ธ
[+5] u/WhiteCollllarCrime69: I love men, not women, men
[+5] u/Lextron: I keep hearing about this Hormuz Open, but I haven't seen any footage of Scottie or Rory yet
[+5] u/reLincolnX: Loaded 50 755c 5/15 today, let's see how it goes.
[+5] u/DiarrheaFartLover: Brother she's the most normal lookin ass Asian woman on earth
At least lust after JAV stars or something, I dunno
[+5] u/VisualMod: You already have a bet going - SPY to 750.0 before 21-May-2026 08:39 PM -05
[+5] u/VisualMod: See you soon, Valkyrie. Don't let the market close without you.
[+5] u/VisualMod: **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/nascarhero** bet **SPY** goes from **710.83** to **750.0** before **24-Apr-2026 06:20 PM EDT**
Their record is 0 wins and 4 losses.
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+16] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: the fact the hormuz might close means when we re-open it monday morning we pump another 5% next week, its like they figured out the unlimited money glitch
[+14] u/nullzeroerror: Itโs honestly incredible that ๐ฅญ can literally say whatever the fuck he wants. Just complete made up bullshit. And we just move on. And it repeats. Over. And over.
[+13] u/blockchainkitty: When Trump says the Strait is โopenโ and Iran is โdefeated,โ the S&P 500 does not evaluate whether this is true. It evaluates whether the statement prevents immediate systemic rupture.
The index does not include the Iranian Rial. It does not include Iranian GDP. It does not include the purchasing power of the American wage earner. The architecture ensures that the entities paying the costs of the war are outside the index, while the entities capturing the rents are inside it.
This is the Cantillon effect at scale. When the Fed backstops the SLR deregulation to fund the war, the liquidity enters through primary dealers and defense contractorsโS&P 500 constituents. By the time it leaks to wages, prices have adjusted. The market does not care because the market is the beneficiary of the theft.
[+13] u/fuzzywuzzy123: I started trading again last week, and I went up $1k, down -$19k, up $10k, down -$14k, and today finished with net +$300. Everything from 0DTEs, 1DTEs, inverse leveraged ETFs, stocks, calls, puts. AMA
[+9] u/SuperNewk: I just implemented AI at my company to trim the fat. It said I am the most overpaid and useless. Looks like AI isnโt a bubble after all.
[+9] u/iBoughtYourCar: My 401k just crossed 100k today
Have a great weekend bros
[+8] u/freddymojo: Yall noticed that ever since Donny praised Allah we've been rocketing? ๐ค
[+8] u/Future_Hyena2562: Up $86k on the week. Still $175k away from my Oct high. Nobody should live with this amount of stress.
[+8] u/SomePolack: Crusades and Jihads have literally been started for less than what weโre seeing today
[+8] u/cannythecat: Fundamentals are deteriorating like in 1999, but in 1999 the nasdaq ripped *100 percent.* A bubble is where you get calls, not puts.
[+8] u/nonplussedgiraffe: My cityโs sub is so bad Iโve decided the only reason to go there is downvote as a form of therapy.
[+8] u/MaybeaDingoAteUrBaby: "Netflix bombs Paramount HQ, blockades WB studios"
[+7] u/nyse25: # ALIENS ARE ON PLANET EARTH
[+7] u/SomePolack: This a biblical level of hubris, we gonna experience blowback for sure
[+7] u/gentlesandwich: Did everyone literally already forget that potus is filling several massive tankers of our oil for the affected ally nations? How does the market just forget that and short oil? It makes 0 fucking sense.
[+7] u/borrokalaria: Since my bear azz got burned again this week, I'm sticking to Costco's $1.50 hotdog combo dinner for the foreseeable future. Add all the free tasting samples, and you've got a fancy dinner out.
[+7] u/SomePolack: Inhaled a lot of cleaning chemicals and now the world is so much brighter
[+7] u/RunesDubloons: why are dudes on here acting like the credits are rolling and theres music playing ๐
[+6] u/Ecstatic-Ad941: Bull going crazy after hours
[+6] u/WocketWaccoon: Tom โfat cuckโ Lee was right 1 out of 50 times
[+6] u/borrokalaria: ALWAYS AFTER HOURS LOL ...
BREAKING:
Israel decided not to respect the ceasefire
Explosions across southern Lebanon
Israel is carrying out large-scale detonations of Lebanese infrastructure.
Structures in Qantara, Khiam, Naqoura, al-Bayada, Chama, and Houla are being destroyed.
[+6] u/HairlessChest: boots on the ground by memorial day 2026.
[+6] u/WonUpH: Woohoo it's weekend thread, back to nonsense. Guess what's blocked again?
[+6] u/SomePolack: One more insult to the Pope and we declare a crusade for DC
[+6] u/GandalfSwagOff: Why is Iran now saying the Strait is closed?
[+6] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: If i had just inversed myself this past 3 weeks I would have 200k instead of 10 in my options account. Fun times
[+6] u/TestingLifeThrow1z: "Strait opened". Market up 1.5%
"Strait now closed". Market down -0.1%.
[+6] u/ifyoulookyouaregay: They convinced every bull that blindly full porting calls will work and now all major stocks are at resistance levels. The absolute perfect set up to destroy these portfolios next week. Beautiful sight to see.
[+6] u/TernTheNumbers: Heโll look like a genius in a week.
[+5] u/Ecstatic-Ad941: Another BULL day for WeBull. See yโall on Mondayโs dildo!
[+5] u/Gristle__McThornbody: If you didn't make money this week then Idk what to tell you.
[+5] u/ThatGuyCalledEric: Ships TACO'd and decided to stay in strait of whore moose. Didn't expect that
[+5] u/Cantthinkofacoolnam: Canโt wait till this shit gaps down.
[+5] u/cannythecat: Imagine the rip when the strait actually opens if we get this pump from fake opens.
[+5] u/Perfect-Mixture-3577: Loaded up puts for monday
[+5] u/Thoughtful_Tortoise: Bers in shambles
Bols in lambos
[+5] u/tinydisaster: Letโs assume that mango isnโt lying. I know, I know, but itโs what the market thinksโฆ
Are statements by the parliament head or insert name person here mean anything anyway? Doesnโt the supreme leader whatever have to decree it so? I donโt really understand who is in charge to actually make the decision. I donโt think weโve heard from the ayatollah yet, right? Which is what the bros on VHS 16 say is who calls the shots on if they take down a tanker or not. And tankers going boom is whatโs holding the market backโฆ.
Right?
[+5] u/Coogiez: Sold all of my puts at close and went all in calls. 1500 715 expiring 04/22
[+5] u/throw-away-imessedup: Has the ceasefire failed yet ๐
[+5] u/Emergency-Ticket5859: Imagine how high SPY will of when they open the strait for real next time
[+5] u/No-Relationship8261: Of course Spy doesn't go down with straits closure. When we open it again it will pump again.
DJT is clearly the greatest president of all time, he found an infinite money glitch in the matrix
[+5] u/AlasKansastan: The more money I make the more worried I get about it
It kinda sucks I donโt know if itโs worth it
Theyโre increasing together and thatโs a bit troublesome when I thinks about its
[+5] u/DeezSpicyNuts: We should just take Russia lol they canโt even conquer a small neighbor letโs go get their shit
[+5] u/iBoughtYourCar: I canโt believe we surged every single day this week
[+5] u/RunesDubloons: >We have a ceasefire!
*explosion noises*
>.... I SAID ceasfire!....
*6$ per gallon*
*explosion noises*
>SIGN THE FUCKIN DEAL
[+5] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: A whole 2 weeks where market basically only has inflow with half volume. Spy has pumped 70+ points with no institutional selling to speak of. I'm starting to think the admin's meetings with the banking execs was not about AI security concerns.
[+5] u/Ble_h: bers, we have the bols right where we want them.
[+5] u/LeakMyBigBowls: Monday gonna be as red as the devils dick
[+5] u/CHENWizard: My final thoughts before the weekend: โSurely weโll open down on Monday after being up 12.5% in 2 weeks of nearly straight up trading. I should buy some 1DTE Puts.โ
Because I did go ahead and buy puts, Monday is going to open with SPY up 1%.
That being said:
!banbet SPY 704 1d
[+5] u/felis_scipio: I want a nice relaxing no drama weekend so I bought 720 spy calls and 700 spy puts for Monday
[+5] u/BigSnow7033: I got spy 700p 7dte. The upside is a lot bigger than the downside. Just pull down to make it seem somewhat not manipulatedโฆ
[+5] u/probablyuntrue: who up jorkin it
and by its lets just say heh
my peenits
[+5] u/JPowTheDayTrader: Bulls who lost money this week, show yourselves. What did you do so we may learn from your mistakes?
[+5] u/freehouse_throwaway: cant wait for those tariff refunds to trickle down starting monday and help boost the economy and thereby the market!
i'm sure that firm buying up tariff refund credits were totally on the up and up too. just like those oil traders betting on cease fire talks
[+5] u/GideonWainright: Lol at Ukraine taking over the Gulf states security with black sea naval drone tech.ย ย
How do I invest in UKR mercenary / arms dealing?? $$$
[+5] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: r/oil coping even harder
"BUY the dip on OIL"
"Market manipulation"
๐
[+5] u/cryptohorn: I also recite pulp fiction quotes as scripture
[+5] u/DressPrestigious7088: Glad I didnโt believe those pumpers online about FRMI and why we should get calls. What a bloodbath.
[+5] u/Ill-Ad1603: Markets are so predictable, weโre going to pump untill Mag6 earnings are done. Then slow bleed in May, and proceed to pump up in anticipation of nvidia earnings, then back down for the next two months or so.
[+5] u/Advanced_Divide_4641: Yes 5 720 4/20. My life savings.
[+5] u/Western_Rope_6826: Oh wow, he was serious
[+5] u/Retaining-Wall: For some reason I just have this premonition that GTA 6 is gonna end up dogshit for some reason. Microtransaction GaaS nightmare or something. It tracks with how shit tends to go these days; especially after such a long wait.
[+5] u/LarsTarkas: People going to go broke from gas prices and that dumbass though shorting Ross was a good idea?
[+5] u/Putrid_Pollution3455: dude. It's rigged. Give yourself a break! It's a big club, and we ain't in it! All we can do is buy good companies, especially when deals present themselves.
[+13] u/Candid_Payment_4094: Hormuz potentially closing again is bullish. Market doesnโt react to it, and when it opens the market rallies by 1.5%. Infinite money glitch
[+11] u/KittyLover-7: Didnโt realise how much Iโd miss you retards when mods locked me up for 30 days
I almost turned ber in solitary confinement
[+9] u/blemdemman: god bless every person thatโs ever helped me, fr
[+8] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Its so bullish in here you can hear the -4% week incoming
[+8] u/bullrfuk: Mandatory story time:
You touch down in Vegas and hop into a cab, eager to make your fortune at the nearest casino.
The cabbie turns around says to you, "I've heard of a casino that's rigged in favor of the player. Always lands on black." You agree to check out this rigged casino.
You arrive at the floor and the floor manager greets you with a wink and nudges you. "At this casino, all you have to do is put it all on black. We'll take care of the rest."
You check out the action at the biggest roulette table. A croupier named Jerome is taking bets and as he sees you approach, he winks: "i've rigged this wheel to always land on black - you're going to be so fucking rich!
You grab your chips and slam them down. "32 red". Jerome gives you a bemused look. "Uh, sir?""
You grin smugly and reply firmly "32 red". Confused, Jerome spins the wheel. Black. Again, you bet on red. Jerome frowns. You lose your money again. You'll be back next week to put all your money on weekly puts though.
"Fucking casino is so rigged!", you scream at Jerome, as you leave the casino.
[+8] u/Asleep-Strike4978: Strait of Hormuz will only be open during US market hours. Thanks for attention to this matter
[+7] u/The_Cornwallis: If you canโt afford a good time tonight, after a 5% week, you truly belong here
[+6] u/avdvetf: BREAKING: as part of the peace deal, mango has been feeding eye ran insider info to trade as reparations
[+6] u/KittyLover-7: Youโd think with a 10% + melt up bers would get the message the market doesnโt care about the strait at the moment but they keep posting about it
[+6] u/wdwentz93: If you failed to make money the last week wtf are you doing lol
[+6] u/Prestigious_Year_621: People think the strait is actually open lmao
[+6] u/TechnologyEven6926: My dad just asked me about an email he received from Schwab on some stock purchases
Thatโs the top boys. Pack up
[+5] u/Specialist-Sun-4751: 745 spy calls expiring May 1
[+5] u/Aware_Secret_8910: I think AWS, MSFT and Google earnings will be a bloodbath
[+5] u/PowerNoodles117: Remember when chart analysis actually mattered? Neither do I.
[+5] u/Shortify: Europe is facing a critical jet fuel shortage, with only six weeks' worth of supply remaining, prompting airlines to start permanently grounding aircraft. As the situation escalates, President Trump will come under increasing pressure to resolve the crisis by May. Iran is well aware of this timeline and is employing deliberate tactics to stall for time. The dismissive remarks from Ghalibaf and Baqaei's emphasis on IRGC's control of transit routes are not mere diplomatic gestures, but calculated moves designed to let the clock run down on the fuel crisis.
[+5] u/wenxuan2: next week we will witness history. Either we continue to pump into historical green streak or we blow off and create a historical point.
[+5] u/theregalbeagler: Looooool
ASTS just tweeted they haven't completed a single sat after BB7 ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
Then deleted the tweet.
๐ซ ASTS bros
[+5] u/PlandomeProwler: Is anyone else noticing $BULL is quietly creeping back up ready to burst above $10+ again with all this positive news removing the threshhold for day trader.
[+5] u/JeronimoPearson: What if Iran is playing ๐ฅญ. They let him think itโs over while they build more drones then continue the blockade. His tweets would be pure entertainment
[+5] u/GuiltyShirt3771: I got conclusions now. Straight will be closed forever and we will be pumping forever
[+5] u/iwasshotbyatigeronce: Remember roughly 3,000 years ago when SCOTUS scrapped tariffs?
[+5] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: Did you notice how many updoots that Michael purry article got? Goes to show there are so many bers lurking and seething, but you donโt see them in the daily. Itโs like they submerged into the cosmic background radiation of WSB
[+5] u/DetroitSportsKillMe: I gotta take a deep breathe and sit a week out
Up 26,000% in the gambling account and the money feels fake now
[+5] u/damnthatbooty: WORLD PEACE AND SPY 800
[+5] u/rubsdikonxpensivshit: 6.66 billion more in large orders out of spy than in todayโฆ so that uh bodes well
[+5] u/Emc79: Either the market is schizophrenic or we are.
[+5] u/Stealthless: Lost $300 this week, couldโve been worse.
[+5] u/InitiativeGlum2507: Boy, the weekend can't come soon enough FOR MY BOY JIMMY
[+20] u/Hayden97: Closing the straight is bullish because it means that it can be opened again, which is also bullish
[+11] u/drytexterfinalboss: Two weeks ago the world was ending. Now back to ATH. ๐๐๐๐๐ค
[+10] u/John___Miller___: I donโt get why the Iranians waited all day till the market closed to announce Trump was full of shit on the strait. With how sensitive Trump is to market movement, why wouldnt they take every opportunity to drill him on that. Itโs like they also donโt want the market to drop.
[+10] u/RockasaurusRex: I'm beginning to question if there even is a Strait of Hormuz at all...
[+10] u/ozarkabottle: Imagine bragging you been in WSB since covid days and still poor
[+10] u/RockasaurusRex: You better be willing to pay if you tryina slide in my Hormuz.
[+10] u/music_is_gud: *Be retarded when others are gay*
- Warren Buffett, 1987
[+9] u/Fun-Heron-8123: Gonna be nice when this thread loses a couple hundred thousand โinvestorsโ again and it chills out. Itโs like the new generation of apes in here rn. Also Iโm cash gang so as a neutral I have to say, bears are way funnier than bulls itโs not even close.
[+9] u/ShadyPotatoTrader: I joined wsb before covid when it was less than 100k subscribers. So much easier to make money back then.
[+9] u/Fun-Valuable-7355: Barron is gonna be so fuckin rich
[+8] u/OnTheWaterWagon: All 7 claims from ๐ฅญ false...
LMAO
[+8] u/2020isgreat: CEASEFIRE BROKEN: Explosions throughout southern Lebanon.
Israel carrying out huge amount of detonations of Lebanese infrastructure.
Qantara, Khiam, Naqoura, al-Bayada, Chama, and Houla are being destroyed.
lmao?
[+8] u/TheOriginalBushToad: Iran now saying Cheeto's peace deal agreement talks are complete B.S. But market is regarded, so more green on Monday....
[+8] u/Fun-Heron-8123: Imagine the market if the first ship that tried to pass through hit a mine ๐๐
[+8] u/FeverTreeCloud: God damn
Did they close the Hormuz again because it's the weekend? ๐ญ
[+8] u/ILikeWhatISee69420: OPEN THE FUCKING HORMUZZZ
[+7] u/BillyShears2015: ๐ฅญ might be completely full of shit, but the market is going to just keep taking his word for it unless/until Iran starts lobbing missiles again. Place your bets accordingly
[+7] u/Strangerdanger8812: My wife asked whats up with my flair
[+7] u/music_is_gud: The Aya-toll booth at the Strait is closed for the weekend. It will be opened back on Monday at 9.30 am EST, which also strangely coincides with the market open.
[+7] u/youreaditfirst: Somehow I am fucking down 15k in a week and I sold like a bitch...... taking a break
[+7] u/drytexterfinalboss: Manipulator in Chief ๐คก
[+6] u/ChampionshipOdd947: May 2026: Nuclear war. Everyone is annihilated.
June 2026: SPY hits 800
[+6] u/Boheed: ๐ฅญ says strait may be closed again on Monday
[+6] u/GuyFieriFrostedTips: Weekend vibes. Whatโs up dudes. Whoโs grilling?
[+6] u/ThaliaFaye: strait is pivoting to AI, SPY 1000 on monday
[+6] u/Thebaxxxx: Funny story. So you know how like, "sexual harassment alegations" are still a big pressure point at the top? Well, i had a run in with one of these types of people recently. Much older lady, and frankly, an overal unpleasant person. Anywhom, she goes around and spreads lies about me stalking her and following her home after work and shit. Thankfully no one bought it, but it was a wake up call becouse this was a person i had zero connection with in or out of work at all who just decided to fuck with me in particular.
[+6] u/horseisahorse: The market is a baby and the strait is peekaboo
[+6] u/Yogurt_Up_My_Nose: no. I went to a catholic school. I had a packed lunch every day. every day it was 1 slice of bologna and maybe a slice of cheese. then mustard. then an adam and eve juice box or juicy juice. I never had good snacks other than fig newtons which I hated but would now tolerate. oh sometimes I'd get a pb&j.
[+5] u/TequilaTrader: Another 20% in gains and I can pay off my mortgage. Of course, I wonโt because I have a gambling gene and prone to addictive behaviors.
[+5] u/Tasty-Coyote-9899: I deleted all socials about a year ago except reddit wsb. Im still alive. Ber or bol you my fam
[+5] u/ring_of_slattern: Last time the strait was blockaded, we broke 700. Now that itโs closed again I can only assume we gap up to 800
[+5] u/Initial_Ad_9250: The Intel guy was a true fucking value investor mayne. Scary. Miss him already
[+5] u/towelpuncher: We should bring back hanging as a punishment for insider trading
[+5] u/Tasty-Coyote-9899: Im white and my neighbors still hate me
[+5] u/Fine_Specialists: Worst nba performance Iโve ever seen by a team. These Charolette hornets fucking suck.
[+5] u/One_Bet_3306: 0DTE options just dont sit right with me i'd rather buy 1 week calls
[+5] u/iwishiwasameme: ...Is the "Open Hormuz" in the room with us right now?
[+5] u/music_is_gud: *Stop associating fake financial quotes with me, regards*
- Warren Buffett, 2026
[+5] u/Select_Season7735: Itโs funny, yesterday scrolling through here and the people who were questioning the reopening of the strait were called doomers and told that the war is all over. Didnโt even last 24 hours LMAO
[+5] u/FeverTreeCloud: ๐ฅญ calling Hormuz right now to find out what's going on ๐ค
[+5] u/Acavia8: I bought a stock today, now it has red 33% next to it. What the hell does that mean?
[+5] u/4sKompany: Felt cute, bought some puts for Monday, might delete later
[+5] u/AdOk3638: Howโs my 750c expire monday looking guys?
[+5] u/corporalboobs: Donโt worry anyone that has puts going into next week. I bought SPY calls, so your puts will print.
[+5] u/Baudri_Hard: Dawg my boy in the group chat is stationed in Bahrain with the army and he popped in 2 days ago to be like โdam Iโm looking at some boats rn. Mess hall food was good today so that must mean some shit about to go downโ. And weโre all like uh bro hope ur ok but strait open?? And he refused to elaborate but I went short CL and copped a bag homies. Did I do anything illegal
[+5] u/xeemyy: Itโs annoying to buy options in Germany so I all-in penny stocks. Am I retarded enough to hang out with you?
[+5] u/Terrible-Session5028: ๐ฅญ is talking again. Calls or puts monday ?
[+5] u/SpitefulSeagull: We're going to have two weeks of pump off of the exact same false claims made by ๐ dozens of times
The fall will be entertaining I guess
[+5] u/sac10pa: I'm down with 38k not much
[+5] u/StonksInvesteur: After what I see after the market close, letโs have another round of doom posts over weekend
[+5] u/Basic-Kale3169: I went from retirement to Wendyโs
[+5] u/v270: Two chicks at the same time
[+13] u/Convillious: I did a 0DTE today and made $40
[+10] u/NewLifeInAfghanistan: I remember one time being such a loser living with my parents that I told them I was going out with friends and instead went to Wendy's, sat in the parking lot listening to podcasts for two hours, then went home.
[+10] u/Total_Schedule591: I made 2 figures today ๐ฅ
[+9] u/AKOnDaTrack: Market could give a flying fuck about Hormuz anymore. Bulls frothing at the mouth buying everything.
[+9] u/Electronic-Data-2622: If markets donโt go down next week Iโm going to snort nuclear dust to make the pain go away.
[+8] u/staburself321: At this point I donโt believe there is a Strait of Hormuz
[+8] u/The_real_Covfefe-19: Taco today at a TPUSA event:ย โNext weโre going to war with Cuba. Watch what happens.โ
Oh, boy! More killin' to do! Lindsey Graham's busting in his shorts.
[+7] u/Micheal_Hancho: I bet all the hippies are excited about MSFT at $420 on 4/20
[+7] u/Odd_Papaya8305: Damn i feel like i aint got friends post grad
[+7] u/auroraavm: I honestly don't get this insane pump. The economy sucks more than it did in February & gas prices are still up & people are losing their jobs & everything is costing even more.
[+6] u/xlmtothemoon: just saw "lowkenuinely" for the first time, idk why but it braindamagingly annoyed me
[+6] u/31andnotdone: will i ever feel anything ever again
[+6] u/RollofDuctTape: I hate this war more than I hate the IRS
[+6] u/Weak_Emu3659: You guys are losing, and it's because you aren't diversifying - and I don't mean diversifying your portfolio, I'm talking about diversifying your gambling. Don't just do the stock market, you also have to do:
\- Dog and horse race betting
\- Online casinos
\- Sports betting
\- Real life slot machines
\- Scratch and win cards
[+5] u/The_Alan_Greenspan: Itโs a squirrel genocide out here. Iโm at 26 and counting for the spring season.
[+5] u/Total_Schedule591: I take HIMS to whack it for 4hrs ๐ฅ
[+5] u/Zeppu: An IPO for a company with only 5% of the float? Iโve seen scam cryptocurrencies that were less blatant.
[+5] u/GuyFaulks77: [Bears are getting insanely desperate ๐ญ](https://abc7.com/post/3-southern-california-residents-sentenced-bear-suit-insurance-fraud-scheme/18907444/)
[+5] u/jpwhat: Heโs the equivalent of the dude who canโt stop bitching about his exโฆ.
[+5] u/Pereise1: Renting a Tesla right now cuz it was the cheapest I could find at $20 a day. Istg man you could fill up /r/crappydesign with the nonsense design choices they put into this thing. At least I convinced my dad not to get one. Puts on TSLR.
[+5] u/PooPooPointBoiz: Dude fuck my goddamn life. I totally missed out on the bull run these last few days. And now I missed the chance to load up on puts for the re-closed strait.
FUCK MY GODDAMN LIFE.
[+5] u/Current_Pangolin8831: Made a good bit of money today but then revenge traded myself back down. Shit sucks and i need to find inner peace
[+5] u/Kind_Initiative_7567: I said fk it and got SPX 7200 calls for Monday. All BER, pls take note. And say Thank you.
[+5] u/Icommandyou: Why did I get breaking news notification that the strait is closed again, I thought it was open when market opened
[+5] u/Ok_Ambassador_4311: So which lovely MILF has some insight for Monday I got alll weeeeekend
[+5] u/biglol555: Lads it was good seeing you and I enjoyed my run of 10k profit. I will see ya all after next week I will be banished for a week
[+5] u/KeyReaction892: That would be amazing
[+15] u/GrandKnew: people are literally walking past my apartment laughing and singing and I'm sitting inside in the dark seething
[+8] u/kaapooj: what is the eu doing?
meaningless meetings about plans for scenarios when the strait is open.
and not even trying to make use of the manifold gifts of this trump administration e.g. the amateurish corruption e.g. another 760m oil short on friday (before trumps announcement that the strait was open)
why is europe not fasttracking an unification of their financial markets and promoting them as there was no tmrw?
trump and the us (with a good chunk of the american population) are currently enemies of europe.
and europe is just standing by idle while they go from one blunder after another. just embarassing.
puts on euro markets
[+8] u/WarmCan3034: what if I ran out of money this week
[+7] u/kananishino: It was literally just this past weekend that bears were celebrating no deal
[+7] u/No-Pomegranate9234: I'm guessing we're all in agreement: TSLA calls on Tuesday?
[+7] u/Jackiemoontothemoon: I lost 4k so yes your point stands correct
[+7] u/AB__17: I have PTSD from last monday. I was imagining how I am not going to sell my put in the morning that it will keep dipping next 2-3 days and I will double my money. Ohh those moments of imagination were pure bliss. Here I am today sitting with 40% puts down and no strategy
[+6] u/Any_Bluebird1765: Beef jerky used to be survival food. Now its priced like a luxury gourmet snack.
[+6] u/yeahyoubored: something feels a lil fishy
like something underneath the surface
Neither ๐งธor ๐
but ๐ฎ๐ฑ and ๐ฅญ at odds feels funny
[+6] u/kananishino: stockmarket subreddit is such a weird place. They're upset at the market going up because of "delusions".
[+6] u/RoninKnight17: I have callls and I feel so regarded for holding them over the weekend
[+6] u/JellyfishFestival: Closing the strait is extremely bullish because it allows them to open it again.
1 step back, 3 steps forward, inflating the largest bubble the world has ever known over absolutely nothing if it goes on long enough.
[+5] u/TarrifJacksonJr: I'm tired of all the lies
[+5] u/Littlecondom: International and emerging markets has been killing it, beats gay ass spy gains.
[+5] u/Ninefingerzs: *hits blunt* yo what if like Iran was the one insider trader and the person Trump was talking to was giving him bullshit info to pump the market
[+5] u/veryveryuniquename5: I just laughed at someone with special needs...
his diagnoses was that he was an amd ber LMAO ๐ค
[+5] u/FinishWarm1746: lesson learned Buy The Dip
[+5] u/ImpressiveAmount4684: Im starting to get **really** annoyed right now
Just start nuking eachother, fucking paesants.
Either that, or we rip the fuck up Monday. Stop giving these cunts credit.
[+5] u/Alone_Education_2530: IM SO SICK OF WINNING MR PLEASE MAKE IT STOP! (Iโve genuinely lost all of my investment capital and have no source of income)
[+5] u/Beershitsson: I was playing spy 0dte puts 3/23 @$657 and bought and sold my last spy 0dte puts 3/30 @$636. Took the profits, cashed out and took a break from the market. Just checked spyโฆ. How in the actual fuck are we at $710??
[+5] u/IndependentUsual7444: Yo bers the dip is over
[+5] u/f0xinaround: Anyone else seeing progressively darker news stories on social media sites? Can't go on fb, insta or x without seeing some diabolical shit.
[+5] u/JellyfishFestival: If they keep closing and reopening the strait enough times we'll get SPX 20,000 by Labor Day in the midst of an emerging recession
[+5] u/Relevant7040: So my puts gonna print on Monday right? Right? ๐ญ
[+5] u/Abe2025: Green the rest of the year
[+5] u/WombatShwambat: I tried to be responsible and sell my 0dte spy calls I held overnight at open, but I should have just been regarded and held. Fuck
[+5] u/CMTTrader: Tonight, will be my first full 8 hours of sleep in a week. Thankful ๐๐๐๐๏ธ๐ด๐๐๐ค๐๐ฅฑ
[+5] u/mysuruhuduga: Bears in absolute shambles
[+5] u/ImOnTheBus: if you zoom out 100 years the only notable dips are The Great Depression and The Great Recession, and something minor in the mid 70s, which I think also had to do with the middle east.
[+5] u/Professional_Con_007: I wont give you 20 billion dollars but i will show u how to make 20 billion dollars by manipulating the markets. Mango and Iran playing show a man how to fish
[+5] u/Me-Regarded: Hey ya durty burds, what's the haps man? Smoke em if you got yum
Weekend party thread my ass
[+5] u/xShiftfaced: Fuck you Rick Santelli
[+5] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: Reality has become so weird. Itโs like everything has to be entertaining now. Everyone is competing for attentions
[+5] u/dataCollector42069: 10 4/24 705 puts
10 4/24 707 puts
LFG
[+5] u/amanj41: Iโve come to accept thereโs no top. SPY $720 by EOD Monday, why not
[+14] u/Nightdocks: ๐ฅญ tweeted all that shit at market open while the Iranians were asleep. Now that theyโre waking up theyโre accusing him of lying on his claims/the strait being open. Weโre watching a master pumper at work folks
[+10] u/Ceyenne18: wannabe geopoliticians think that oil traders don't know whether ships are moving or not when determining oil prices ...
[+10] u/WayDry848: Just 20 minutes before Trump's announcement that the Strait of Hormuz was open, massive trades hit the market.
Investors sold a combined 7,990 lots of Brent crude futures, โa $760 million bet that oil would go down.
These orders were much larger than anything else at the time.
The traders made huge gains.
[+9] u/literallyaPCgamer: Anyone else have kids and just fucking anxiety stricken over their future?
I mean like I can be poor all day and ride motorcycles, Iโm good with that. Iโm just worried about them.
[+9] u/OilBull: Let it be known I posted on /r/oil to start buying leap puts when $USO was at $138 and got shit on.
Those regards got fucking SMOKED.
[+8] u/GoldenAries4: I think the people here think about the bears more than the bears think about themselves.
Get new jokes or something.
[+8] u/plzplzplztendies: Just ate a whole Costco tiramisu cheesecake ama
[+8] u/PutridLiving826: The Federal Reserve (The Fed): Injected $18.5 billion into the banking system through overnight repurchase agreements (repos) to keep the plumbing from freezing.
โข The U.S. Treasury: Injected $15.0 billion by executing a debt buyback, putting cash directly back into the hands of institutional investors.
The Bottom Line:
The combined total of fresh liquidity hitting the system in 24 hours was $33.5 billion, but the Fed didn't do it alone. It was a one-two punch.
When you post, tell them: "It was a coordinated $33.5 billion liquidity flood. The Treasury pumped $15 billion through stealth debt buybacks, and the Fed backed it up with another $18.5 billion in overnight repos.
[+8] u/skymagic: analysts believe this week's rally is driven by tax refund checks, just like last time when retail pumped with covid stimmy checks ๐คฃ
[+8] u/Weak_Ostrich459: Im convinced that instead of people posting their losses, they leave the sub and delete their brokerage account
[+7] u/KehreAzerith: Believe it or not, ships still aren't moving
[+6] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: I still trust Poly Market.. strait aint opening as of Apr 30.
Indexes can be regarded and follow tweets.. but Poly market will hint where it ends Not tweets.
[+6] u/FullCopy: Pete Hegseth channeling Jules from Pulp Fiction. Pure troll material. Canโt make this shit up.
[+6] u/nesnayu: Down 52% since April 1. What to doโฆ
[+6] u/Frequent-Hat-5260: Bers the type to use both sides of toilet paper
[+6] u/sailortyx56: Ceasefire when markets are open
War when markets are closed
[+6] u/Significant_Speed854: Just realized the percentage of girls/women that are hot in the first 5-10 rows of a sports event is far greater than the proportion in the upper stands
[+5] u/MadSkyGlider: The difference is they make the rules u donโt ๐คฃ
[+5] u/BettyRedHerring: If anything happens to me, you all are designated to delete my browser history
[+5] u/AegonTheMeh: > Reporter: If you donโt have a deal by Wednesday, will you extend the ceasefire or restart attacks?
> Trump: Maybe I wonโt extend itโฆ and weโll have to start dropping bombs again.
Well good thing thereโs already a deal which explains the market rally this week right
https://x.com/acyn/status/2045346156944007363?s=46
[+5] u/KevinWarshNudes: Wifeโs boyfriend says we canโt watch the big short again this week. How do I show him Iโm a market genius?
[+5] u/DeezCodeNutz: Shut the fuck up Donny!
[+5] u/userusery24: Market is back to ~~fundamentals~~ priced in.
[+5] u/solidsneeze: rally built on lies - shhh, don't tell anyone
[+5] u/No_Relief_8705: Okay, seriously, have any of you actually seen this 'strait'?
[+5] u/bigchodeenergyy: There will be a pullback
[+5] u/ajibtunes: Estimated %32 of American Men Reporting Partner-Sharing (Cuck/Hotwife) Fantasies
[+5] u/KyleNoThumbs319: Ladies and gentlemen I have one question. Is the Hormussy still open ? ๐ค
[+5] u/Bob_the_peasant: *ceasefire happens*
โOPEN THE STRAIT!โ
*taco talks*
โCLOSE THE STRAITโ
*wait, baron didnโt close all his calls*
โOPEN THE STRAIT A LITTLEโ
Thatโs the weekend plan I guess
[+5] u/zuziannka: Should I go for a solo trip Bologna, Italy or Split, Croatia ? Kinda afraid that I will be bored alone.
[+5] u/-TrueFacts-: Next stop 800, lads!
[+5] u/SuperbSandwich: can the market stop humbling me pls
[+5] u/Top_Interaction_8189: I always ask fav ice cream flavor first. If its mint choc chip, I move on. Only subhuman trash likes that shit.
[+12] u/Disconn3cted: So Iran closed the strait right after US markets closed. Is Iran trying to manipulate the US stock market? ๐ง
[+12] u/Excellent_Tourist633: So over the weekend the conflict will re-escalate, indices drop 3-5%, pump back to -1% before Euro market open, and eventually close at +0.5% on positive ๐ฅญ tweets
[+10] u/jonneh: Can we rename it to the Schrรถdinger Strait? wtf is a Hormuz anyway sounds kinda ghey ngl
[+9] u/Reply_Stunning: so Ghalibaf the iranian parl. leader said everything ๐ฅญ said was a lie:
[https://x.com/mb\_ghalibaf/status/2045264713593114970](https://x.com/mb_ghalibaf/status/2045264713593114970)
what does it mean
[+9] u/unhappyreach_: Upon monitoring the situation, I've decided the war in Iran is over
GG everyone see you at the next one
[+9] u/pussinbuuts: ๐ฅญ literally just posted his tired of winning meme video and pinned it I bet heโs on this sub lmao
[+8] u/unhappyreach_: CHYNA aint shit apparently
smh
[+7] u/Nickzpic: If youโre here on a Friday night, seek help
[+7] u/zestykite: now that everyone is finding all these reasons why there is no reason for the markets to go down. we will dump.
[+7] u/itseran: 20,container ships had to turn around but everything's going great
[+7] u/Iunatic: Being a bull is so easy that the global retirement and pension systems are based on being a perma index bull. And people still bet against it
[+7] u/Successful-End7689: America: โconflict is over, we wonโ
Iran: โnothing changed, stop the capโ
Rinse and repeat
[+7] u/hayleybts: Never go full regard, I went this week. Very bad down -79%
[+6] u/Soffatjockis: Iran: Strait is open!
Market +2%
Also Iran: No, strait is still closed. We will likely not get a deal in the near future and we will never give up our uranium.
Market +2%
[+5] u/relavant__username: $HORT RDDT IF they don't release Maxwell's mod history..
[+5] u/Soossaaaa: i was a part of the layoffs at snap ama
[+5] u/Frequent-Nature-630: โYou will own nothing, save nothing, and gamble everything.โ
[+5] u/TinyAdhesiveness5773: multiple people around the world are eating ass right now, just statistical facts
[+5] u/oldsguy65: No really, it's open. Go ahead.
We'll protect you from way, way over here.
[+5] u/SovietPower777: I'm bear
No, I'm not gay
Yes, I lost all my profits for March in April
Do you pay by card or cash?
[+5] u/shorty85: Blew my daily gains on 0dte spy calls before it took a big shit. Feels bad.
[+5] u/Maximum-Magazine-333: SPY 730 end of week or what
[+5] u/demonhunterking: Next week priced in war officially ends and open straits. any delay or bad news will cause big drop
[+5] u/pltrweeb: I have calls and I feel confident that Monday is going to be a very big green dildo up my bear ass
[+5] u/Brilliant_Object_847: I canโt believe weโve talked about this strait for two months straight.
[+5] u/Kickboy21: Anyone else got a throat so itchy only a glock can solve
[+5] u/StandardDot5115: we out here in 2026 fighting over
*checks notes
rotten dinosaurs and spicy rocks
[+12] u/KarlLachsfeld: YUUUGE amount of traffic in the Hormuzzy
Everyone making a run for it before the festivities begin again next week.
[+10] u/n1ck90z: I read a bunch of news articles and i still don't know if the strait is closed or not
[+9] u/Due-Information-6277: Oh great itโs the weekendโฆ.3m canโt sleep. No wife no friends. No job. Guess Iโll eat get fat then go to gym.
[+9] u/Historical_Bother274: HAHAHAHAH looks like strait is closed again
[+8] u/bringkiteback: I can honestly say I have no clue wtf Iโm doing in life
[+7] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: I can never abuse drugs after all that they have done for me
[+7] u/n1ck90z: It's the weekend and there are no bears telling how bad things are. I'm afraid the top is in
[+7] u/Club-Loud: Goood morning from Europe ๐ฌโ๏ธ except for bers, get back in your hibernation holes you crazy bastards!
[+6] u/i_simp_f: Why does the bubble keep unpopping
[+6] u/n8walker_ger: And it is closed again
[+6] u/UnivalveX: same story on Monday. deep red futes after everybody realizes the strait hasn't opened for a minute before mango lies it is and we close +2%
[+6] u/Pazzaaaaaa: Black Monday incoming
[+6] u/knoqd_: Straight is closed again? SPY +2% on Monday
[+6] u/No-Sympathy-686: Tiddy fucking is underrated imo
[+6] u/nthnreallymatters: the inequality across every spectrum of life is just getting worse every year
from careers, to investing, to cost of living
you either are in the top 5% benefiting from the the fraud, grift and scams
or you're basically in the peasant class getting crushed in every way
[+5] u/Pale-Silver-8178: Down 25k instead of revenge trade, I'll grind at Wendy's and save 25k, then double that 25k somehow. It's better than trying to turn 2k into 25k or small amounts
[+5] u/Nice-Truck8806: redditsisters is it time to buy back in now, or double down on more puts?
[+5] u/swofeloff: # Schrรถdinger's Strait
[+5] u/ChewbaccaIsBear: Anyone here waiting for ambien to hit?
[+5] u/DrElkSnout: That SPY flatline after hours is mega fucking sus...
[+5] u/TippyTippyTippyTop: Youโre just 50 blowjobs away!
[+5] u/Top-Sir-1215: What if Michael burry bought the top?
[+5] u/jaypowwow: I have a long story to tell about my Colombian wife and her friend visiting from Colombia. Any other OGโs like myself here? Iโm drunk
[+5] u/H3R0NA: \>:( im already bored OPEN THE CASINO
[+11] u/leave_youself_behind: OPEN THE CASINO YOU CRAZY BASTARDS!!! Praise be to Allah
[+10] u/Moist_Chain_POL: strait being closed during the weekend means it can be reopened on Monday. SPX up 2% ๐ค๐ผ
[+9] u/Walking72: Iranโs military command says it has closed Hormuz again over US blockade
---
If all this were in a movie or more likely a British sitcom, no one would watch or believe it because it's too idiotic.
[+9] u/SignalX_Cyber: In this market, a black Monday means -0.01% day.
[+7] u/Neel_Crashkari: โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃ โฃถโฃฟโฃฟโฃฟโฃทโฃคโกโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โขโฃพโกฟโ โ โ ฟโ โ โ ปโฃฟโฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โข โฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โข โฃฟโกโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ ธโฃฟโฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โขธโฃฟโกโ โ โ โขโฃคโฃโ โ โ โ โฃฟโกฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ ปโฃฟโฃถโฃถโฃพโกฟโ โขฟโฃทโฃถโฃถโฃฟโกโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโกโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโกโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โขโฃ โฃดโฃฟโฃทโฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃงโฃโกโ โ โ โ โขโฃดโกฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โขโ โ โ โขฟโฃทโฃโ โข โฃฟโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃ โฃฟโกโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โขนโฃฟ โฃฟโฃโ โ โ โ โ โ โขธโฃฟโกโ โ โ โ โ โ โกโ โ โ โขธโฃฟ โขนโฃฟโกโ โ โ โ โ โ โขฟโฃทโ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โขโฃพโกฟ โ โ ปโฃฟโฃฆโฃโ โ โ โ โ โฃฟโฃทโฃโกโ โ โ โ โฃโฃคโฃพโกโ โ โ โ โ โ ฟโฃฟโฃทโฃถโฃพโกฟโ ฟโ โ ปโขฟโฃฟโฃถโฃพโฃฟโ ฟโ โ โ โ
[+6] u/Acceptable-Two5692: God bless the American healthcare system and it's lack of actual care for it's people. I'm glad I kept my UNH bags, tuesday we will feast.
[+6] u/habfranco: Convince me this wasnโt a global conspiracy to fuck with Mar17 monthly options.
[+6] u/FabulousLanguage6216: He has no balz. Waited for the market to close to post this.
[+6] u/Normal_Finance_3083: #BEARS ASSEMBLE TIME HAS COME....
[+6] u/Pete26l96: Real talk, what's with the general public's perception of the casino being some fun place to visit.
I've been like 10 times as an adult, all because the party I was with wanted to go, and never understood how people can find enjoyment in knowing they're playing games where the odds are not in their favor, where their net expected return is negative.
The strangest thing too is that it's mainly wage slaves who are the most enthusiastic.
I can understand going if you're heavily into a skill based game like Poker where you're competing against others and just accepting the fact that you're paying a rake, but 99% of people playing games like blackjack or slots I can't understand.
Even if you're just playing with like 20 bucks on penny slots, is it really that enjoyable to just sit their and press a button, watching some flashing lights.
Some family from overseas is visiting and all my relatives here keep taking them to the casino like every Saturday, constantly bothering me to go.
[+5] u/Impressive-Mud-3362: Give me a show to watch
[+5] u/Vulthen1: Funny how that Iranian parliamentary speaker waited 9.5 hours to refute his Foreign Minister's claim of Hormuz being open, that too after the market closing.
[+5] u/spreadbetfred: Ber in rehab with cucumbers on their eyelids after the last 2 weeks
[+5] u/BeaverSack: Is Bessent an alien or something?
[+5] u/Any_Refrigerator2330: After last Monday, I don't know
[+5] u/rukasteam: What if Mango meant that he was going to invade this weekend? When he said the war is going to be over.
[+5] u/any_hat: r/oil is wasting the perfect opportunity for posting loss porn. Instead theyโre just whining and running on pure hopium.
[+5] u/BoomerSharkBoy: I hope $MU will run on Monday ๐คง
[+5] u/radishr: !banbet TSLA -15% 6d
[+5] u/justanaveragejoe520: Surely the straight will be open again confirmed by an axios tweet before 9:30 est on Monday
[+5] u/johndsmits: We're all losing it.
Once fundamentals. Now duh-mentals.
[+5] u/hftrobo9285: Tanker gang this is our time
[+5] u/Careful_Response4694: Lol, us oil companies are apparently gonna just trade at pre-war levels because why not. Didn't know the straight was made of oil. Maybe the US navy can turn the aircraft carriers into makeshift tankers and bring back Iran's oil.
[+14] u/No_Psychology_4339: Why are you Guys bearish ? ๐ฅญ Just has to lift up his own blockade to get the straight open. Which will probably happen 5 minutes before the markets open on monday for maximum Hype
[+12] u/kairepaire: "Hormuz is closed": -0.5%
"Hormuz is opened": +5%
rinse, repeat
[+11] u/ComfortableWolf779: Yeah ๐ฅญis just going to say the deal isnโt going to work out and do a ground invasion
[+10] u/joycaptain: Schrodinger's Strait
[+10] u/Front_Appointment_68: So Strait open = +3% , Strait closed = -1%
Did Trump discover an infinite money glitch
[+9] u/claytondpark: Strait back to closed. Fridays gains gonna puke on Monday... This is good bc bers make money and bols can rebuy the dip, both win! Listen at the end of the we want two sided mkts, we want volatility...
[+7] u/Ok-Thought-9960: All the big boys prolly knew all week that these talks were fucked and they setup this crazy ass week of exit liquidity. Fuck this admin and also fuk u bols you greedy dumb asses
[+7] u/SearchUsual5193: I'm just tired of winning...then losing it all.
[+7] u/kryptonyk: Ber will doom all weekend and get a +0.5% Monday. They love punishment.
[+6] u/El-Klotzo: Red light green light
[+6] u/trent_upscale: Trading for 4 years. Last year has been better than the previous but still acting impulsive.
My loses are usually when I don't have a researched trade so I buy rando shit trying to "make something happen"
[+6] u/ComprehensiveKiwi489: Why did Figma get rekt today (from Claude Design), but Adobe didn't? Shouldn't Adobe also be taking it in the ass by this new Anthropic release?
[+5] u/Quej: >Whats the over/under odds of cheeto man doing/saying something dumb this weekend
100%
>so we go red next week?
0%
[+5] u/guosongtao: Some of yโall donโt check put call volume and it shows
[+5] u/puts_every_day: Imagine the pump on Monday once they reopen again the strait.
[+5] u/kairepaire: Are bers still going to lose or not?
[+5] u/SecurityFar1910: Iโve realized that the more ๐ฅญ lies the more the market pumps like a regarded donkey not knowing itโs getting the stick instead of the carrot.
[+5] u/talaabo: So we went up for nothing? This market is more regarded than the tech bubble of 1999.
[+5] u/PablosCocaineHippo: Snip snap snip snap snip snap!! You have no idea the physical toll that four recloses of the Strait of Hormuz have on a bull !
[+5] u/_Netgirth: Getting so close to my dream of buying a moldy trailer home somewhere in the rust belt
[+5] u/_FIRECRACKER_JINX: just.... focus on YOURSELF, king :/
[+5] u/outhinking: Holy shit Iran closed back the strait
[+5] u/No-Improvement3164: Last year we got a bigger dip and a second chance
[+5] u/trent_upscale: Many obese in the thread rn
[+5] u/falken2023: How long you think it will take before ๐ฅญstarts claiming heโs the President of peace again? LMFAO.
[+5] u/Jordykins850: He was yesterday/last night..
He has now stopped 10 wars! ..at least according to his speech yesterday
[+5] u/youngmacho: its my fault guys after buying puts all week I literally bought COIN calls at the top yesterday
[+5] u/CursedClownz: Even if hormuz stays shut forever
US markets will keep going up no one cares ponzi will ponzi
[+5] u/ddrsdght: This sub is just noise
[+5] u/__nameless____: Cat foods got a bit more expensive this week. Now sheltering all these strays will cost more. Fuck the orange turd.
[+5] u/trent_upscale: 3 day ban on anyone using Schrรถdinger's name in a comment about anything outside of theoretical physics
Mods, get to it
[+5] u/fomoandyoloandnogrow: If SNDK becomes a 200 billion mkt cap itโs going to $1350 or higher
[+13] u/rollinhating: idk why yall are worried... Mango will threaten Iran today and tomorrow and then monday morning, he will tweet they have a deal and it goes into effect 15 min before market opens, Spy moons 3% and continues for 2+ weeks.
[+11] u/Individual_Error_428: Market to another ATH next week
[+10] u/Knarre30: Iran fires on Oil ships. Spy +2% monday incoming cause why not
[+9] u/Puzzleheaded-Race-22: Wouldn't it be funny if Iran realized they can unilaterally fuck up every single one of the white house's insider trades? I guess that's when the marines hit the beach
[+9] u/mmmmmmmayhem: Itโs 4:30 am over here and Iโm on this thread on a Saturdayโฆ.
[+8] u/qx2: Wake the ๐คกso we can get a tweet ๐
[+8] u/Hegecoin_Rules: This is why near EOD Friday i bought puts. EOD Monday buy calls and then TACO Tuesday we move
[+8] u/Civil_Building_9650: Hats off to those holding anything over the weekends these days.
wouldnโt wanna be in that room with ya
[+8] u/Senior_Professional4: Oh shit itโs saturday we are guaranteed to get bad news
[+7] u/analgape4206969: Congrats to anyone who has the balls to hold anything over the weekends anymore. Felt like bad news was obvious after this weeks rally but damn i dont have the cahones to have conviction
[+7] u/Specialist_Fig9458: A third of Americans own ๐ฝ. In other news a third of Americans are total fucking retards
[+6] u/mneymaker: Classic.
Saturday night-morning bad news.
Sunday grey area
Monday positive headlines
Momentum reset and back to rocket dildos
[+6] u/ThinkingOfTheOldDays: open the fuckin' cafe you crazy bastards.ย
praise be to latte
[+6] u/qx2: Hmm, and there for a sec I was feeling like a dumb shit for sitting on my ๐ฐ
[+6] u/zerowaitestate: Welp
https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/merchant-vessels-report-gunfire-they-attempt-cross-hormuz-shipping-sources-say-2026-04-18/
[+6] u/zephyrs85: Wait, I thought we were winning
[+6] u/Mahrez-: Fuck, I just bought calls on Friday
[+6] u/Mcluckin123: The irgc are doing rat a tat tat ๐ซ
https://x.com/ajenews/status/2045453709044568440?s=46&t=c_D0mNpCMlv38DcGBxek9A
[+6] u/darkspherei: allbirds are rumored to be buying the strait of hormuz
[+6] u/Mahrez-: Believe it or not, open by open, close by close
[+6] u/AP123123123: [https://whoboughtthetop.com](https://whoboughtthetop.com)
[+5] u/A55BAG: Hmm it is possible that Iranians closed the strait again just to get an extra card to play for the negotiations ๐ค
[+5] u/Impressive_Trick_573: Whyโs is Tesla mooning? Why is the straight still closed? Who does Iran supply oil to? How much is 70% of global chip supply worth strategically? What was the deal with tariffs? What the hell is going on in Ukraine?
[+5] u/BeginnersDuck777: Greatest negotiator in history on? How are those steaks? LOL
[+5] u/milodino12: Energy stocks are back on the menu boys
[+5] u/SZJX: Nasdaq really notched 13 days of consecutive gains, the best run since 1992โฆ No regard could have seen it coming at all no matter what their โstrategyโ is. Truly a ber extinction event.
The only way to win really is not to play at all, eh.
[+5] u/Individual_Error_428: Blood red Monday lmfao. Needle top. Bulls r fucked
[+5] u/hammerscribe98: Waiting on somebody to make a meme of that karate kid guy going strait open strait closed
[+5] u/Vort3x7689: This will give us the needed pullback we need so we can go higher. Bers are delusional to think we will take out the low
[+17] u/Fresh_Internal_6085: Itโs so fucking obvious Iran is now in on the market manipulation.
When ๐ฅญ said he was going into business with them, he wasnโt referring to the tolls.
[+14] u/Treverer: Iran is doing the rug pull of the century. Announcing an open strait on Friday, enough time to market close for all the regards to get in, and not even half a day later close it again and blow up some ships to underline that you are no ๐ฎ to create an inflated crash with a higher chance to bring this whole clown parade down
Calls on Persian carpet rugs
[+12] u/Eddyrancid: Let's drop again, I kinda fucked up on this recovery and would like a do-over
[+12] u/cheesygordita: SPY 800 when the strait is open for 10 minutes next week
[+11] u/peterpeer9: The year is 2036
Transgender pets are now a thing
[+11] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: Bols shitting, crying, freaking out, throwing up, panicking, and calling Marge
[+11] u/animebeer: Bulls donโt want the strait to actually open. If it actually opens then you canโt pump the market with โstraits open on god no cap fr fr this timeโ headlines.
[+11] u/Coloradospruce33: WSB on a Saturday morning is like huddling around a trash can fire under a bridge in the dead of winter.
I love it.
[+10] u/Joey-Cap: Bers have such severe PTSD that they are afraid to post anything bearish
[+10] u/InIce1234: Nasdaq on Longest Win Streak Since 1992 and bear talking.
[+10] u/whitewashedsyrian: Mango on some random fucking interview: โIโve been screaming at Iranians all dayโ ๐๐๐ฉ
[+9] u/Ok_Abbreviations8440: WHY DOES WAR SHIT HAPPEN ON SATURDAYS ONLY
[+8] u/MartianSpaceCat: We should be getting another "peace talks are progressing extremely well" tweet soon. Market on Monday: +3%
[+8] u/el-art-seam: Actual cnbc headline: Trump says U.S. has โgood newsโ on Iran as Tehran says the Strait of Hormuz is closed again
[+8] u/zanzebar: apolgy for bad english
where were u wen portfolio die
i was at house eating dorito when phone ring
"hormuzz is close"
"no"
[+7] u/ZealousidealSector19: Feeling cute with my puts right now
[+7] u/Nanas_700k: Before war oil: $60/bl - Diesel $3.79
War oil: $100/bl - Diesel $6.29
Once war is finally over oil: $60/bl - Diesel $6.09
Fuck you oil companies.
[+7] u/Icy-Tea-2954: If had a dollar for every time somebody called โblack Mondayโ in the weekend thread, Iโd probably no longer be on this thread
[+6] u/Revolutionary-Owl766: Oil down 10% translates to gas going down 1.3%.
[+6] u/Inevitable_Estate459: Can we please stop pretending that the news today will have any effect on the market on monday?
We played this game the last two weekends already.
Iran is lying. The US is lying. And in the end there will be a ceasefire extension anyways and more green comming.
[+6] u/Critical_Survey_975: All Iโm asking is for a subtle gap down of 6%
[+6] u/CEO-of-SOXL: Let me guess, green on Monday?
[+5] u/S-Club-Party: Bears love the weekend thread because itโs the only time their doomer shit isnโt instantly slapped down by the market reality
[+5] u/ZaraBloom418: My grandpa got pancreatic cancer at age 64, and just two weeks before I drove to their house to show off my drivers license just turning 16.
I feel really bad the last time I saw him, I broke down in tears hugging him as hard I could. Thatโs when I got my first and only ever kiss from him on the forehead from him.
Died a week later
[+5] u/Far_Addition1210: Ukraine attacked 4 more russian refineries last night.
[https://newsukraine.rbc.ua/news/ukraine-hits-four-russian-oil-refineries-1776509568.html](https://newsukraine.rbc.ua/news/ukraine-hits-four-russian-oil-refineries-1776509568.html)
[+5] u/dMestra: Honestly the closing of the strait is so expected I'm betting the reopening is already getting priced in
[+5] u/TheGeoGod: Weekend futures not even down 1% but bears are celebrating
[+5] u/Mark_Underscore: is the current closing of the reopening of the closing of the reopened closed strait already priced in?
[+5] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: ๐จ Breaking News ๐จ
Iranian gunboats have attacked my portfolio.
[+5] u/neverturndownagain: Bears forgot last saturday Where we was down -2% on weekend tech yall know how Monday Ended
Spy 715
Tsla 420
NVDA 215
AMD 280
Googl 360
[+15] u/FaustMoth: War is back on! You know what that means: +10% rally starts at 8:45 Monday!
[+11] u/HaveTwoBananas: Monday another 1% up lmao
[+11] u/ParlayTheHard8: Once again my congratulations to everyone who bought the top
[+10] u/arothen: Imagine the pump when strait opens for the 27th time. Calls.
[+10] u/potato111a: "UKMTO SAYS IT HAS RECEIVED REPORT OF CONTAINER SHIP BEING HIT BY UNKNOWN PROJECTILE WHICH CAUSED DAMAGE TO SOME OF THE CONTAINERS, NO FIRES OR ENVIRONMENT IMPACT - Walter Bloomberg" Insurance companies about to close the strait themselves LMAO ๐ค
[+9] u/Necroglitchh: I bought SPY puts on Friday evening.
[+9] u/Rocky_The_Champion: War on the weekend, peace doing weekdays.
[+8] u/winston511: US defense official: IRGC conducted at least three attacks on commercial ships in the strait of Hormuz since Saturday morning - Axios.
[+7] u/Financial_Fan1763: Black Monday ๐ฅ๐ญ My calls no !!!
[+7] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Markets closed, so bears come out to doom in the weekend thread, only to be banished back to the shadow realm at market open.
[+7] u/degenforlife69: Open straits +17%. Close straits -1.7%.
[+7] u/Bichael-Murry: bol is gonna be financing their ikea meatballs via klarna instalments over 24 months
[+7] u/Kagemand: \+10% rally on Monday?
[+7] u/definatelynotme321: We need 24/7 trading. I donโt even look forward to the weekends anymore.
[+6] u/Antiwhippy: OpneAI struggling to pay for the servers it pinky promised it would pay for.
Claude starting to be gigastingy with their tokens and basically telling anyone who isn't enterprise to go kick rocks.
Also opus 4.7 being a disaster of a launch is making people doubt that Mythos is even that good other than hyping for an IPO play.
Jensen is desperate to be able to get the Chinese market.
Cracks are starting to show....
[+6] u/PinNo6026: The strait will open Monday at 930AM EST for no obvious reason. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
[+6] u/I_am_Nerman: I was wondering why that $11 million in short dated SPY puts hit the wire right after the bell yesterday. Barron always knows.
[+6] u/stupidber: Never forget what they took from us (pepe emojis)
[+6] u/kwarknagel: The war is dead, long live the war
[+6] u/GuwopGOAT: One thing thatโs for certain Iโm loading up on spy calls if there is a pullback next week
[+6] u/AppaDappaJappaa: The world is led by selfish cunts. That's the reality. !! Changing the course everyday to gain personal benefits.
[+6] u/Fancy_Goat685: Sounds like strait closed again by Iran, tanker hit. Also french soldier killed in Lebanon. Bulls r fuk
[+6] u/stonksf: Intel puts for earnings this week is a 10 bagger.
[+6] u/BirdyPooPoo: Bols hoping that the ultimate final boss of tweets will come to their rescue one more time.
[+6] u/LasyKuuga: ๐ป bearrorising the weekend thread whilst bulls out joyriding their lambos
Itโs hard being a bear ๐ข
[+6] u/Prestigious_Way_738: Iran talks are fucked again.
SORRY BULLS, YOU'RE GETTING FUCKED NEXT WEEK! HAHA
[+6] u/Ok_Wealth_3433: Do these bears ever learn? It doesnโt matter what happens over the weekend, there is always a headline and we pump
[+6] u/arbitraryBlue: FUCK IT, WE'LL DO IT LIVE!!!!!
[+6] u/stupidber: Pee is stored in the balls
[+6] u/Purple_Bearkat: New deal: each day the strait will open just prior to trading hours and close just after extended trading.
We will do whatever we want on the weekends.
[+6] u/j4c11: If you send ships through the strait, they actually form an interference pattern on the other side.
[+5] u/cromwest: It was unsurprisingly cheap to roll my puts another week.
[+5] u/jamieperkins9999: Where are we up to with the strait? Ive lost track, genuinely
[+5] u/isc1200s: For those who bought into the we hugged it out, world peace news and went long going into the weekend. Pain is on the horizon.
[+5] u/housemouse431: gay of hormuz will be open before futures tomorrow.
[+5] u/Daveonaltair4: I'm stepping away. I literally cant tell what's real anymore, and it makes everything in my life seem meaningless. Hoping to get a new job that will allow to me semi retire in about 10 years then go semi off-grid indefinitly.
[+5] u/TrickyDickCheney: Now the real pain begins
[+5] u/vermilli21: Keep asking for a black Monday and eventually it will happen
[+5] u/foxasintheanimal: The dramas on pornhub.
[+5] u/HoosierGuy2014: The market really thought this war was over and everything would return to normal. lol.
[+5] u/joshBigHockey: Bears very hopeful to recover 3% of their last weekโs losses
[+5] u/moazzam0: I'll never understand how the price of the one commodity underpinning the entire system is so easily talked down.
[+5] u/IRefuseToGiveAName: Industrial strength copium at scales the likes of which we've never seen.
[+5] u/1337Scott: I bought both 2k in spy puts and 2k in USO puts for this Friday. Am I regarded?
[+5] u/Jarlaxle_rigged_it: Truman-show meme : *"Now that all the bears are wiped out, do a Black Monday"*
[+11] u/severed02: The Strait of Hormuz is open M-F 9:30am-4pm ET
[+11] u/Happy-Champion1661: 13 consecutive green days on nasdaq๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
who is even buying anymore, this is retarded, I am out of this
[+10] u/FGoobs: Laughable that anyone truly believes a word ๐ฅญ says, but hey, people belived him when he told them to drink bleach so ๐คทโโ๏ธ
[+8] u/ModeForJoe: ***BREAKING NEWS (from the future):*** The Latest 2030 meeting of the G9, the first to include Pakistan and Iran since emerging victorious in World War 2 1/2, has agreed to rename the Strait of Hormuz the Strait of Bankruptcy... to remind everyone what happens when you start a war there.
[+7] u/marawki: For those who bought calls on Friday close, will be printing money on Monday. Inverse logic is way to go in this clown market
[+7] u/ProudPeak3570: blood red futures on sunday. Tweet at 8AM Monday. Deja vu
[+7] u/ProudPeak3570: what if Iran is placing the massive oil shorts and funding themselves. Seems like an easy hack they realized they can easily manipulate the markets
[+7] u/TreGet234: Iranian bearrorist attacks.
[+6] u/SgtFuryorNickFury: They need something for the Strait like they had for IsGucciManeinJail.com. Just a simple website showing if it is open or closed
[+6] u/Cashmoneytendies: Iran says strait is restricted again amid US blockade.ย
Spy 800 next week
[+6] u/LiveInLayers: Im a gay bear and im tired. Market is just going to open -.25%ย and climb green.
[+6] u/Money_Term8366: How kind of Iran to wait until market closes for the weekend to close the strait again
[+6] u/Cramer4President: Thread is bearish on the weekend since the bulls are out, busy slaying pussy in their lambos
[+6] u/TreGet234: The stock market may genuinely never go down again. Even in the event of a mass institutional liquidity crunch the dip will just get bought up again as liquidity returns.
This does make me wonder how long lasting crashes were even possible in the past. Are institutions just completely broke without regular unprecedented QE?
[+6] u/International_Bee653: When everyone says this its going to crash lmao
[+6] u/FearlessStatement144: Gotta love how his lies are revealed after hours. Theyโre still attacking ships trying to go through strait
[+6] u/BaxterrStockman: If ๐ฅญ doesnโt ๐ฎ before open Iโm fucked ๐ซ
[+6] u/MrNo_Balls: Monday is gonna be another face rippinb green dildo and bears think it will be red LMAO
[+5] u/Ok_Buffalo2027: Pooping and scrolling
[+5] u/pinkerton_gov: Why is this war only fought on weekends?
[+5] u/samwehl: Do we really have to do this every weekend ๐ spy will never go down bears, please stop torturing yourself
[+5] u/derprondo: The one Friday I didn't buy some FD lotto puts and Clifford starts blocking the strait again.
[+5] u/CEOofBeanz: Market only pumped to lock in 401k bois at a high price
[+5] u/AlarmedPelican: I love the smell of napalm in the morning!
[+5] u/Necessary_Fly_9266: Premarket SPY drops 1%, TACO, boom SPY +1.5%
[+12] u/Leading-Cheek-8946: This market responding to everything donny says is actually extremely fuckin hilarious. Like you can trust a single word he says.
[+12] u/kanyedidnothingwr0ng: somehow, Monday morning I'm gonna be seeing the 3 words 'bers r fukked' spammed all over here
[+12] u/Particular_Rice9607: Buying nothing but calls on Monday!
[+11] u/ARogueAnt: wsb still bullish so puts on monday
[+10] u/Superente_: I read everywhere that we have an oil crisis, an energy shortage, a helium shortage, etc., but all companies have insane guidance for the next quarter and record earnings.
Something doesnยดt add up here. Someone is lying.
[+10] u/jonlmbs: Curious how the straight is only open during market hours
[+10] u/zainwhb: Bers dont understand that market will not give a shit about the strait because it understands just how unserious both sides are. Strait open, we pump, strait closed? Believe it or not, pump
[+9] u/tika_dengu: >Iran says itโs assessing new proposals from the United States to eradicate bers from the Hormuz strait. - AL Berzeera
[+9] u/crazyfool319: when will you dumbfucks realize the market doesn't give a shit about the war or the fucking straight. we're literally way past all time highs, yet the war is nowhere close to being over. Instead of being sheep and listening to media blabber, try having your own opinions for once, and maybe then you can finally make a little bit of money.
[+9] u/ARogueAnt: The US military is preparing in the coming days to board Iran-linked oil tankers and seize commercial ships in international waters, the WSJ reported, citing US officials it didnโt identify.
lol
[+9] u/Ok_Persimmon9849: We were already sitting at insanely high valuations and you all helped them pump it higher than ever for no reason and you really think this isn't going to crash like 50%? lmao
[+9] u/Elforas_Tero: Bers from this weekend should learn from last weekend bers
[+8] u/OkResponsibility2470: No matter what happens Monday keep in mind that itโs been demonstrated multiple times now that market will pump 2x off hopium over what it will dump from bad news, and ๐ฅญ can inject it at any time
[+8] u/Scalpaholic: Oil might just have had a Pullback before continuing its bull run per the noise happening this weekend.
[+8] u/inevitable_fallen: This escalates tomorrow and futures to open -3% and by open on a Monday it'll be green.
[+8] u/AideApprehensive7441: There was thoughts it was Iran with the 760 million on London exchange 15 mins before they declared it open Friday
[+7] u/Dry-Syrup-882: Buying calls at open Monday. 6 figure week incoming
[+7] u/Sea_Condition_6999: So I know that the market is in no way attached to reality.
I know the ones on top have so much money they don't have anything else to do with it but put in the market.
Yet I still think for some reason that the Iran stuff is going to make the market drop 20%.
I belong here.
[+7] u/wendysdumpstr: bers overcomplicate the iran situation, if they are not sinking US ships or closing the mandeb strait - it's calls
[+6] u/isolated-cat: HORMUZ REOPENSโTHEN SHUTS AGAIN
Shipping briefly resumed in the Strait of Hormuz Saturday before Iran warned the route was closed, triggering U-turns.
Twelve ships exited early (half Iran-linked) and only three entered. The supertanker FPMC C Lord led departures with 2 million barrels of crude. Soon after, at least nine tankers and four CMA CGM container ships turned back.
The reversal came hours after signs of reopening, as U.S. restrictions and Iranโs response plunged the corridor back into uncertainty.
this is getting ridiculous
[+6] u/goober2341: The bulls in this thread are sounding very, very nervous right now lol.
[+6] u/Mr60SPX: Even the OF girls arenโt safe from AI. So many instagram accounts with fake AI generated persona linking to OF.
I admire the hustle.
[+6] u/Few-Quiet-283: Guys it will be fine, Axios and NYP will put out a headline Monday morning of a โsignificant breakthroughโ and itโll be green by close Monday
[+6] u/User0198888: This happened last time last week yeah we going +5% Monday ๐คฃ
[+6] u/curling_rocks: This weekend is already priced in
[+6] u/Sweaty-Survey-9804: Nobody has a fucking clue what is going on in Iran, with the strait, or with Israel. Not you, not me, and certainly not the US government.
[+5] u/SilverVikingTT: Israeli artillery shelling on the city of Khiam in southern Lebanon
[+5] u/SteveStacks: Feel like a genius closing all my short puts, getting out of mstr at break even.
Well I have some heavy NVDA short puts. Let's see ๐
.
Extract profits when you can kids
[+5] u/Informal_Math_7853: letโs make it to the second half of this year first
[+5] u/dopeadult: guess what
MONDAY HUGE GREEN
[+5] u/Sufficient-Skill9530: I loaded up on oil and gas stocks when WTI dropped to $80. Check out my sick ass shopping list I filled up on,ย
- Valeura Energy (Thailand crude, priced in Dubai)
- Tenaz Energy (North Sea TTF)
- Saturn Oil and Gas (high torque WTI)
- Athabasca Oil (WCS)
- Cavvy Energy (1/3 Vancouver sulphur spot exposure)
You bag holders never learn. It was the third Friday of the month, I knew EXACTLY what was going to happen. Wait for the WTI contract to roll over on Monday. Dated WTI has what, a $30 backwardation to the futures contract? I was ready and loaded the f-up.ย
Next time you pump your gas, think of me.
[+5] u/uncsucks: I suck at trading - going to try my luck at competitive fartmaxxxing. Need some advice for some really thunderous ones - I've got beans, cruciferous vegetables, dairy, what else? Does it help to hold the cheeks shut or keep them open? Thank you for your attention to this matter!
[+5] u/ANJR2: My 695 strike puts are looking at me like
๐๏ธ ๐ ๐๏ธ With the straight closed it might get down to that price, but that theta tho
[+13] u/Gom_KBull: *\*Spirals into WW3\**
It's going to be โ a fantastic war ๐
Probably the greatest ๐war ever in history โ๏ธ
Everybodyโ is already saying "oh mister prezident, ๐ you created such a beautiful war." ๐
And I โ say "yes, its the biggest and ๐ you're welcome." because Im so nice. โ
[+12] u/Exciting_Day4155: Opening and closing the strait of Hormuz is now the equivalent of trade deal going well with China.
[+10] u/Correct_Advice3457: leaving money on boring etf would've give me +20% but instead i choose DeepOTMOptions^(TM) to gain my -80%
[+9] u/yayahi: Short everything. OPEN THE CASINOOOO
[+8] u/fire_alarmist: So its becoming exceedingly obvious that this entire thing has been a PPT operation to prevent the largescale liquidation spiral we were entering right? The pakistani guy's tweet history showing it was a direct copy paste makes it seem like he was emailed with instructions and copy pasted it. The mass media is launching a full scale propaganda attack on every citizen to make it seem like the Strait was open when obviously it wasnt at all and nothing was moving? They sit there and manipulate the futures market instead of fixing anything and there are still 50k troops right off the shore of Iran eating steak and lobster cuz the top brass knows the boots are going ON THE GROUND.
Yea this crash finna be litty.
[+8] u/maengdaddy: There is not going to be a peace deal. The sides are so far apart still and nothing has fundamentally changed
[+7] u/spellbadgrammargood: The fact investors trust what Trump says is fucking crazy.
[+7] u/Drlitez: Bols I bought some cheap 700 spy puts for Monday, how fuk am I?
[+7] u/1M-to-Zero: The Strait of Hormuz is open M-F 9:30-4pm ET.
[+7] u/spellbadgrammargood: I walked into my local Best Buy, I saw a lot of GPUs, and I realized that Best Buy is an AI company.
Bullish on Best Buy.
[+6] u/sharkenleo: Remember exactly a week ago when the bears were also being cocky as fuck? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
[+6] u/fire_alarmist: Keep slurping mango cock bols. Slurping that cheesy goodness all the way to the slaughterhouse.
[+6] u/thornCircuit: Did you know you can hate trump and still buy calls?
[+6] u/somecleverphrase: No way you haven't peaked until your that old guy that comes in the gym looker room butt naked and props your knee on a bench and strike up a conversation with people.
[+6] u/Historical_Hunt2492: HOW DO YOU GUYS AFFORD TO BE PERMA BULLS OR BEARS? i just flipppity flop like our glorious mango
[+6] u/yayahi: This is the first time since the start of the war that MULTIPLE tankers tried to cross. ALL of them got shot at & forced to turn around.
Of course mango makes up bullshit on Friday so I canโt sell shit over the weekend.
Open the casino so I can be full cash gang bruh
[+6] u/skychief99: Petey Pentagon says to always like and subscribe and don't forget to smash that war button.
[+6] u/KindlyTie6602: Seems a little early to be celebrating.
[+5] u/Ahzmer: Im positioned to do fine or benefit from spy correction - but with the 13 consecutive green days even on the most bearish of reasons, i feel like its a bit early to celebrate.
[+5] u/sylphvanas: Canโt wait for bulls to get jizzed Monday
[+5] u/edapalooza: And then close at 4:01pm. Almost like banker hours.
[+5] u/Lurk_Maximus: Trying to coordinate my โฝ fill-up with the opening/closing of the Hormuz is challenging, ngl
[+5] u/WSB-mods-are-: This past week cleaned up wsb faster than mods ever could have
[+5] u/Striking-Fig924: We shall have 13 red days in a row starting next monday
[+5] u/broke_person: Market will finally be red on Monday....but there are no bears left. They were all massacred last week.
[+5] u/lordbell21: Weekend DOW hasn't been brought up so I imagine the strait being closed hasn't dropped anything yet
[+16] u/Karl-Levin: Sunday: US will start bombing Iran again
Monday 9am: Trump "war soon over". Spy +4%
Two months later, Trump says "war soon over". Still working.
[+13] u/syedhuda: another weekend of the bers celebrating before they get real quiet on monday
[+10] u/Pury101: Don't worry guys your calls are safe , ๐ฅญ is gonna tweet on monday "deal soon" for the 20th time and Spy is is gonna rally 3%
[+9] u/ConstantSpace5809: Iranians making more money trading oil than selling it now
[+8] u/Leading_Form_8485: Needs some red. This isnt healthy
[+8] u/cbusoh66: Strait of Hormuz closed during non-trading hours
[+8] u/Icy_Jelly_315: Bols with weekend calls shitting now and for 48 hours. Cash gang peaceful easy feeling ๐ถ
[+7] u/PuzzledLeader8941: Full porting calls Monday morning
[+7] u/svpa3991: This is bullish. Now mango can use pump tweets that wouldnโt work if strait was open
[+7] u/Thecreamcheeze: Bulls get slaughtered Monday
[+7] u/fuck_zebster: So the navy Iran does not have is shooting at tankers again . We gona rip higher monday .
[+7] u/Emilio___Molestevez: BREAKING FUCKING NEWS: RICH PEOPLE DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT IRAN
[+7] u/wildcat1055: I'm ready for more ~~war~~ market manipulation
[+6] u/Mission_Ad_6234: Monday 9:29am: โwar has officially ended. Thank you for your attention to this matterโ
[+6] u/LengthObjective2253: BREAKING
KLAR announces partnership with HOOD to finance options and stocks. Allowing retail investors to have more โflexibilityโ in using their buying power elsewhere
[+5] u/E39_CBX: Reminder the INTC 50dma is like 46 lmao
[+5] u/Fancy_Rice_2799: The post earnings crash will be glorious.
[+5] u/tommylol66: Monday gap down and then +5% day
[+5] u/undocumented_twerker: My calls are safe. I'm glad they always do things early weekend so we can recover and rally by Monday
[+5] u/Puzzleheaded-Arm3155: Iโm just upset that itโs going to result in broad index funds now being forced to buy into it. Makes me lowkey want to get out of them
[+5] u/Altair82: wsb drinking game of the day
every time someone makes the same tired schrodingers strait joke you take a shot
[+5] u/14BrewMan: You'd be blacked out in an hour
[+5] u/MakeResonableChoices: I hate being bipolar, itโs awesome