▶ Full Post Text
[+40] u/MarienBean: Market is pricing in current situation, where there is (apparently) no fear at all and everything goes as expected. Be cautious and check the news as much as possible today if you day/swing/options trade.
- If it escalates further it will move very fast, way faster then a TACO rally. Please watch out.
- If TACO, prices will reach ATH but not too much because the Strait will remain closed and there will still be geopolitical uncertainty.
Because of the risk/reward ratio i'm staying out, i wish everyone good luck today. Don't let the MM's steal your money and hopefully the market will stabilize soon. Godspeed you degenerates!
[+39] u/According-Page8618: iran us talks soon and they will open the hormuz! +8,5% in 2 weeks
iran us talks failed! jd vance left islamabad, iran doesnt want to give up, iran wont open hormuz so we will close the hormuz ourselfs!=-0,4% lol
[+33] u/MrNewking: I called a plumber for a blocked up toilet. He is currently standing in the doorway stopping anyone going in or out. Art of the deal he says.
[+26] u/Street-Badger: No tweet, but we still have a 7AM pump anyways. Algos set on a simple timer now to save compute.
[+26] u/Flat-Resolution905: so strait is gonna be blocked and yet oil is dropping? this is the most absurd shit on the planet
[+25] u/Anal_holocost: I come to the thread every day bc sometimes I find a small piece of good insight in a sea of retards
Not today it seems
[+24] u/Odd-Spray5046: Can’t believe my retirement is invested in this retarded fugazi market
[+22] u/PatentedSheep: Britain and France Triumphantly Announce Historic Committee to Boldly Explore the Possibility of Considering Future Discussions About Potential Plans to Eventually Revisit the Idea of Opening the Strait Someday
[+20] u/hv876: Bros and Girls, welcome to another week of an absolutely unhinged market.
[+19] u/MissMatriarch: I wish I held up through crises as well as SPY :(
[+17] u/Spedicey007: "We're gonna 🌮 so much, you may even get tired of 🌮 . And you'll say, 'Please, please. It's too much 🌮. We can't take it anymore, Mr. 🥭. Well, it's too much. And I’ll say, ‘No it isn’t. We have to keep 🌮 . We have to 🌮 more!”
[+17] u/volckerwasright: did anyone post lol bers yet
LMAO BERS
[+16] u/nthnreallymatters: spoke to a boomer and they're barely aware of what's going on
retired with millions in the stock market and multiple properties
[+16] u/Worried_Quarter469: Bad guys blocking strait = bearish
Good guys blocking strait = bullish
Everybody blocking strait = world peace, Nobel peace prize
[+15] u/ImLemonized: Literally nothing will make the market go down anymore, not even a nuclear war. Why do bears still exist?
[+15] u/MrNewking: 22D chess. Iran can't shit in your pants if you shit in them first.
[+15] u/Happy-Champion1661: BREAKING: strait now closed for everyone except SNDK.
Thank you for your attention to PLTR!
[+15] u/Wickrest: What sorcery do they use to have SPY go up 18$ on supposed peace talks, but only down 4$ on failed ceasefire and start of a blockade?
[+14] u/trollboter: Sorry I'm late, was just busy buying a billion dollars of SPY.
[+14] u/tika_dengu: Open the Fuckin’ casino, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH!
[+14] u/Familiar_Gazelle_467: Cathie in in palantir oh uh
[+14] u/drakilian: Hedge fund managers when they check to see what their algos have been up to
"???????"
[+14] u/MrNewking: >“Actually the strait is now open thanks to palantir a great company, the ticker is PLTR if you weren’t aware. I repeat oil will go down because of PLTR. Did I mention the ticker is PLTR”
[+14] u/ten7four: It's actually impressive how well 🥭 has mindfucked some of y'all into being bols in this environment
[+13] u/severed02: Donald Jesus Trump. The signs were there…
[+13] u/Xx360StalinScopedxX: Of course market has recovered from last night. Probably close green today
[+13] u/90sRiceWagon: Trumps words now have no meaning
[+13] u/LaMeraVergaSinPatas: It’s just blockades the whole way down
[+13] u/MissMatriarch: Who else has a feeling SPY is held up solely by a single strand that is a 🌮 of today’s blockade?
[+13] u/netflix-ceo: Has anyone made Baron tracker yet? Heard he is even more successful than Pelosi. Must have a sharp mind due to his genes
[+13] u/puffinnbluffin: Whoever posted that bear thread fucked my spy puts
[+13] u/tika_dengu: bers saw oil up 8% and expected spy to drop 16%
[+13] u/Capt_Chickenpox: Here i am, still baffled that oil is only barely above 100 a barrel, even though shortages are getting bigger
[+13] u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister: So the talks failed and the strait is even more closed but oil somehow isn't mooning? This market grows more retarded every week
[+13] u/QuantrixQuintrix: ***The reason why blockade goes into effect at 10am is because the movers and shakers are out of position from last week.***
They expected the deal to go through over the weekend but there's no deal.
They can exit/short the first 30 minutes and then we can cliffdive.
[+12] u/darkspherei: the market has once again stayed irrational longer than I can stay solvent
[+12] u/HumansHaveSoles: Looks like a dead cat bounce straight into theta(note I have no idea what this means)
[+12] u/CamOper: So the market just doesn’t give a shit anymore? Why are we not at 630 again. Nothing changed.
[+12] u/HorseTanker: How can I blockade my losses?
[+11] u/astromouse2024: Yup there’s the green candle 😒
[+11] u/ZealousidealSector19: Honestly this is all bullish. A week ago 🥭 was threatening to blow up everything with Iran threatening max damage in retaliation. Now it's we are blocking your ports, let's make a deal
[+11] u/Hot_Astronomer762: HAHA FUCK THE BEARS ✅✅✅✅✅ straight up
[+11] u/Swiftnice: People buying PLTR in premarket because Cathie Wood bought more really deserve to get rugged lol
[+11] u/longGERN: I'm calling in dead to work
[+11] u/EnginrA: Why aren’t we more red
[+11] u/puts_every_day: Theta, the only play worth playing.
[+11] u/Western_Rope_6826: Yearly spy graph looks like it’s dying to fall again but hopium keeps it up 💔
[+11] u/FingerbrkthroughTP: ~~Strait of Hormuz~~
Strait to no profits.
[+11] u/zestykite: Earnings gonna bring this house of cards down
[+11] u/Soffatjockis: We should be getting a tweet any minute now.
The tweetconomy lives on.
[+10] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: 3 carriers are leaving iran
general receivs call from Orango:
\- To Cuba, sir?
\- No, Vatican!
\- Excuse me, sir?
\- DID I STUTER!
[+10] u/Regenbooggeit: Have you ever tried fucking your own ass with your dick? It might be easier than trading options in the last two months.
[+10] u/arbitraryBlue: Iran blockades the Strait of Hormuz -> oil prices go up
🥭 blockades(????) the Strait of Hormuz -> oil prices will go up
Masterful gambit Mr President, my tiny brain simply cannot comprehend your 4D chess moves. Calls on oil
[+10] u/pussinbuuts: never order your lambos on a weekend with 🥭 in charge
[+10] u/trust_it_bb: Every 🥭 timeline given coincides with market opens or market closes. It’s amazing this guy probably discovered options during his vacation away in 2021 and has been a degen ever since.
[+10] u/A55BAG: "NETANYAHU IN A GOVERNMENT MEETING: THE CEASEFIRE WITH IRAN COULD END QUICKLY."
Bibi comes to save the bears 😉
[+9] u/iHateThisPlaceSoBad: Lol this is the apocalypse the bears were foaming at the mouth about all night?
Holy fuck, it's barely down lmao
[+9] u/hv876: What’s Baron’s play of the day? How do I get on his signal chat?
[+9] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: No taco on this one. He's posting on truth news headlines glazing him. They have him convinced he's playing 5D chess
[+9] u/Knarre30: So last week we pumped cause the street was promised to open. This week the street is "double" closed but we dont dump. Feels totally normal and healthy
[+9] u/NotEasyOne_Regard: Buy calls and puts so you can lose 2 times once.
[+9] u/Aware_Secret_8910: Waiting for the Axios headline before shorting
[+9] u/Stilnovisti: Just wait until 10 am and you'll know which direction to go.
[+8] u/bunker931: Gentlemen, place your bet and remember. No crying in the Casino.
[+8] u/AccelerationFinish: We’re ending the day green, lads
[+8] u/Pauldoc001: Enrol in the US navy and join Captain Mango-beard for a life full of skulduggery and piracy
[+8] u/TrumpAllOverMe: If 🇮🇷 doesn’t hit back after the blockage we are going straight to the moon boys
[+8] u/ExpatAndrew: Did Hormuz even say "Thank You" once?
[+8] u/rampagepete: If no taco by 9:30, -1% day
[+8] u/BeyondAppropriate857: TACO before 10am, SPY +0.5% by end of day. Thank you for your attention to this matter
[+8] u/WombatShwambat: Imagine living in a time where there was still a town cryer yelling out the news but it was still just 🥭 full caps tweets
[+8] u/king_of_all_retards: WSB mods put PLTR on board
Not a market manipulation at all
[+8] u/ImAnonymous135: >Goldman Sachs on Monday released first quarter results that topped expectations on record equities trading results and higher-than-expected investment banking revenue.
Oh hey, now we know who the Trump admin insiders are
[+8] u/twostroke1: “Keep calm and carry on buying the dip, says JPMorgan”
well, see ya boys in the great depression 2.0 soon.
[+7] u/Adventurous_Tea_2198: bears would rather be "correct" than make money
[+7] u/Neat-Concentrate-239: is the war in the room with us
[+7] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: If spy volume is under 60M again today I'm taking my ball and going home
[+7] u/DingleJingle_: Goldman must have some people on the inside of the Trump administration
[+7] u/Worried_Quarter469: Goldman down ~5% on ER beat
[+7] u/Live_Paper8680: Yeah but its never HOW are the oil tankers 💔
[+7] u/PushAble2463: Why is garlic so fucking good? Like what is the deal, who doesn’t love garlic? What a divine onion that shit is
[+6] u/WingedScapula420: Can’t even get a Monday dip before TACO Tuesday. What is this, market manipulation for ants?
[+6] u/elcasar: Did we start blockade yet?
[+6] u/Reply_Stunning: bols are celebrating the trap lol
soon, bols r fuk
[+6] u/Franchementballek: So 🌮 party at 9 45 EST?
[+6] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: I have no choice but to yolo PLTR
[+6] u/Firm_Passage_6844: man countries should just send a fighter and have them 1v1 mma cage whenever theres a dispute
[+6] u/narwalfarts: 🥭 can TACO longer than I can stay solvent.
[+6] u/firefox971: At this point i feel like a nuke is priced in as well..
[+6] u/Xelonima: Market loading screen pro tip: It's not the crude oil price that affects stonks, it is how expensive the refined products are to crude.
[+6] u/kodaksdad2020: Pathetic bears, truly pathetic
[+6] u/ten7four: All this delusional bol vs retarded ber talk, I'm just chilling here with USO
[+6] u/Happy-Champion1661: goldman sucks going down, love to see it
[+6] u/Paul_Robert_: Pick your poison:
SPY range bound for ~5 months, or
whatever this is 💀
[+6] u/extrabigbrain: shout out to all my finance bros on stims, no sleep, and a wavvy psychedelic rap playlist. I see you out here.
[+6] u/CanaryUmbrella: 3,000 stocks in the Nasdaq and this sub has some fetish over MSFT. Why?
[+6] u/knoqd_: > 🚨 NETANYAHU IN A GOVERNMENT MEETING: THE CEASEFIRE WITH IRAN COULD END QUICKLY
[+6] u/looool_k_libtard: Why are hedgies blockading the strait
[+6] u/Unusual_Baseball7055: Imagine being a fucking bull in this environment. Do the opposite of what Trump says every Friday and its free money kids.
[+6] u/knoqd_: The Big Yahu needs to stop dumping the market
[+6] u/TampaBaySlay: If I were VIX, I would be way more turned on by all of this... What's up homie, remember who you are! Who you've always been!
The mother of all Black Swan fantasies is upon us, and you're all whiskey dicked! Take the dick pill and let's go! 🍆🍑
[+6] u/rollinhating: Everyone acting like the market is down 5%.. its down 0.5 and recovering (which is absolutely insane…)
[+6] u/hunnna: Those responsible for blocking the Strait have themselves been blocked, by a blockade of the Strait.
[+6] u/DisgrunltedDan: Just buy calls I guess . Can’t predict shit . It’s all news driven . And only god knows what the news will be and how mms will react. Just hope ur on the right side of the move most of the time . Crazy
[+5] u/BadBoyBilbo: I’m starting to believe that ATH this week is not a meme.
[+5] u/jda823: You guys acting like pltr is up 10%
Probably will dump to even at open
[+5] u/OkBeginning9576: Siri play MY WAY by Limp Bizzzkit
[+5] u/Aware_Secret_8910: LMAO flat by open (USD is becoming worthless)
[+5] u/BFox1982: Feels like another free fall at open days.
[+5] u/zuziannka: Why am I such a cuck to my manager I don’t get it
[+5] u/Technical-Activity95: pls go to red so can close ny positions
[+5] u/Disconn3cted: 🌮 used to be my favorite food
[+5] u/ThouOne: Goldman Sachs upgraded NBIS’s PT to $200 from $165, green EOD.
[+5] u/Aware_Secret_8910: "Just wait for the news to pick a position"
The news: "Great leader says prices of gas might go down, stay flat or even up a bit"
[+5] u/puts_every_day: Bols really wanted to fake pump it? 😅😅
[+5] u/MrNewking: Msft you donkey.
Do something.
[+5] u/NotEasyOne_Regard: [This guy](https://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/good-news/northmead-mcdonalds-worker-retires-after-32-years/news-story/f72a8674ccddc9849a48d67d7528d23c?amp) managed to get a job. Now what’s your excuse for not getting that job at Wendys?
[+5] u/wallstreetdiva37: Believe it or not, calls.
[+5] u/Weak_Emu3659: This manosphere podcast told me basically I need to cheat on my partner first before she cheats on me, to get the one up on the bitch and remain the dominant alpha.
[+5] u/TheMallard1: Soon every country to block each other
[+5] u/Revolutionary-Owl766: I guess he doesn’t know how the “stop hitting yourself” game works
[+5] u/Wickrest: What sorcery do they use to have SPY go up 30$ on supposed peace talks, but only down 4$ on a failed ceasefire and start of a blockade?
[+5] u/Flashy-Finger-8600: Jpow out soon, Wersch will bow down and go ZIRRRRRRRRRRRRP
[+5] u/MagJack: whatever it does at open, its gonna be a trap
[+5] u/WorkingCorrect1062: Hi guys I need a taco please
[+5] u/good-times-: Student trader please be impatient
[+5] u/Moepenmoes: Time to touch grass before I lose my shit
[+5] u/Revolutionary-Owl766: What in the pump and dump was that?
[+27] u/SSkilledJFK: $580 million in bets on falling oil prices had been placed just 15 minutes before🥭 published his statement on postponing attacks on Iran for talks on March 23, 2026.
The White House had even sent a note to employees warning against using nonpublic information on financial markets prior to this. Why send a note if it is not happening at some level?
It is now three weeks later. The inner circle is getting significantly richer and richer over this period. You can argue the market has always been rigged, but this magnitude and extent is historical. All out in the open for everyone to see.
I also just got done reading about the Shiller CAPE ratio sitting at its highest levels since the ‘99 bubble burst.
So will the market continue to be manipulated enough to please the inner circle AND us peasants? Can said MM’s “float” long enough before the bubble burst?
Praise be to Allah I guess.
[+27] u/LSD_OVERDOSE: All this shit for Israel smh
[+20] u/n1ck90z: Nice red day you have over there bear, it would be shame if it ended green
[+19] u/Specialist_Fig9458: The great thing about the crash we’re about to experience is it’ll fuck over two of the most despicable groups out there, permabols and algotards
[+18] u/Brilliant_Object_847: **Surely the gays in the Navy cancels out the straights of Hormuz.**
[+18] u/jasperCrow: It’s amazing the SPY is only down 3% from ATH with the straight of Hormuz closed for 45 days.
How long until the rubber meets the road?
[+17] u/Bam2458: I can’t believe the Pope would just blockade the strait like that.
[+17] u/chuastan: Does anybody regardless of Bol or ber. Feel very irritated by mango?
[+17] u/Isometric_exercises: Imagine going to college to study business, graduate and study technical analysis, only to have the market react to Trump tweets.
[+17] u/PleaseSirOneMoreTurn: “I have become comfortably numb”
— Warren Buffett.
[+17] u/Iamhappilyconfused: I'm bearish right now, but this mf feels like it'll melt up to green by eod
[+16] u/notarocitnerd: you know this shit is ending green today. double blockade equals a positive, i just learnd this in 4th grade math this morning.
[+16] u/Due-Dirt-8428: Kind of crazy my guidance counselor never told me about day trading when he had his whole “employment opportunities for the mentally disabled” presentation
[+16] u/JaraxxusPS4: I assume firing a bunch of generals is the best strategy before a prolonged military engagement.
[+16] u/Commercial_Seat_3704: AMZN + OpenAI = Good
MSFT + OpenAI = Bad
Retarded market
[+14] u/PleaseSirOneMoreTurn: Have they tried injecting bleach into the Strait?
[+14] u/trsx5: Oil rising, indexes rising.. someone is lying
[+14] u/Ok-Piano8789: i want millions of dollars now
[+14] u/BigBasedGrifter69: AXIOS BREAKING: USS Tucker Carlson escorting 5 ships thru strait, USS Joe Rogan turning back to US, war is over again.
[+14] u/saintmitchy: Break an enemy blockade by blockading their blockade - Don Tsu
[+14] u/Walking72: So our new Iran strategy is just trying random shit
[+14] u/Illustrious_Pair2990: Build the oil tankers out of SPY shares
Because they are unsinkable
[+14] u/Ble_h: China should blockade the blockade the blockade. They can disrupt the US supply ships.
[+13] u/spectra444: Every market open day feels like performing a Viking death dive
https://preview.redd.it/mfq9bh9xayug1.jpeg?width=306&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c618163cbd671b14b050d906cbbf7d7fe42b3a9
[+13] u/spectra444: https://preview.redd.it/x2rg532mfyug1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aed54e21e8c28ea8238c5a7712f79b877b6f0f30
OPEN THE CASINO
[+12] u/Fhyzikz: This will reverse to 690 at open. My positions are all bearish and my luck stat is horrendous
[+12] u/Warm_Tzatziki: Typical 2026 Monday:
Oil prices 8% UP,
US president beefing with the pope,
New AI model threatening cyber security,
Hormuz Blockade of the Hormuz Blockade.
I guess, flattening the curve Mondays weren't that bad after all
[+12] u/izCS: Believe it or not: CALLS
[+12] u/celebratorycremation: Why would Joe Biden do this?
[+12] u/Snowman33001: The market is becoming anti-fragile. Just as our dear leader intended.
[+12] u/Extension-Ad917: 4 weeks ago: Markets only care about how long the oil price stays elevated
2 weeks ago: Markets only care about how high the oil price goes
Today: markets don't care
[+12] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: #Can we please have a seperate thread for the europoors ? it stinks in here 🤮
[+11] u/orsomeshitidk: Really blows me away how many people simp for corporate America and HR and shit.
Fuck em and you should take advantage in anyway you can.
[+11] u/Due-Dirt-8428: Let the hate flow through you
[+11] u/sauronII: green EOD.
Praise be to Allah!
[+11] u/DatsMaPurse_IDKU: What is this a dump for ants?
[+11] u/UnderB0SS: The cost of war:
“Japanese toilet maker Toto has suspended new orders for its prefabricated bathrooms due to a material shortage as the Iran war squeezes global supply chains”
[+11] u/OrionJohnson: Incoming Truth Social post T-20 minutes
[+11] u/EasySunday: Futures are starting to believe the blockade. We are capitulating from the taco trade into the retarded trade. Act accordingly.
[+11] u/ThermalChaser: Surely israel gonna send some ships to help out in the strait, right guys?
Guys??
[+11] u/drcornwallis23: Hilarious we’re not even 1% down for all 3
[+11] u/drytexterfinalboss: Shit when others are constipated
[+11] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: One day the market could start going to the left instead of right and a ber would be right there saying he knew it the whole time
[+11] u/_RAPTORMAN_: TV’s are so cheap dude. We’ve conquered TV technology. Don’t be an asshole and say, WELL MY LG C2 was $5k. There are good 4K, smart TV’s for like $250.
[+11] u/_dCkO: I’m starting to think my Art of the Deal book might just be a bunch of bullshit
[+11] u/justanaveragejoe520: 3 carrier groups in the Middle East a blockade on 20% of the worlds oil supply and some angry Iranians. Somehow we still end up green 👍🏻
[+11] u/Nick_Gilberts_Bowtie: OK EVERYONE BUY CALLS SO MY PUTS CAN PRINT PLEASE
[+10] u/DrummerCompetitive20: wild...iran deal called off, oil spiking....and the market barely dips LOL. I was expecting a dip to buy this am
[+10] u/miata_only: U.S. will deploy their squadron of [mine clearing dolphins](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_marine_mammal) just like they did in the 1st and 2nd Gulf Wars. Any mine laying attempts by IRGC is just futile dolphin fodder, you guys
[+10] u/Jazzlike-Proof-9614: Has anyone considered whether America would actually sink an oil tanker? Are they CRAZY BASTARD enough?
[+10] u/Homeless-Coward-2143: I'll shove a taco up my ass if the US stops a single boat in the strait.
[+10] u/orsomeshitidk: This shit is way out of hand on the retarded scale
[+10] u/StockB0Y: Lol you can't make this shit up were worse off in the war then ever before and the market can only go down 1% after pumping thinking the war was over like what
[+10] u/Necessary-Lychee-486: Insane cope from the market. Not selling puts at open.
[+10] u/zachuwf: Today’s Fear Factor challenge is called “Striaght of Hormuz”; whoever leads the most ships through without getting blown to hell will be the winner and have immunity for the next challenge. On top of that, the winner will ALSO be able to choose one person to buy 0DTE calls and they will have to do it.
[+10] u/undocumented_twerker: Blockading a blockade is a double negative. Bullish
[+10] u/Healthy-Mud-1079: https://preview.redd.it/xf048qa8byug1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f69448273fd49c300f380a3f4edc15c8a5570efb
The dice of i don’t know what todo today so yolo
[+10] u/GME_fan: Just tired of everyone else paying the price
[+10] u/darth_scion: You can't triple stamp a double stamp!
[+10] u/beachsandwichen: Imagine being your parents and living through crashes that u thought were real and natural and not completely unavoidable and manufactured to make the elites richer hahahahaha
[+10] u/drytexterfinalboss: McDonald's ice latte is actually not bad at all..and half the price of Starcucks. Calls on diabetus.
[+10] u/jnas_19: OPENAI TOUTS AMAZON ALLIANCE IN MEMO, SAYS MICROSOFT HAS ‘LIMITED OUR ABILITY’ TO REACH CLIENTS - CNBC
Microcucks how you doing?
[+10] u/North-bound: "IRAN WILLING TO CONTINUE DISCUSSIONS WITH THE U.S., SAYS ENVOY
oh no bers, it's coming
[+10] u/FuelHappy1660: If only there was some sort nuclear deal with Iran that we could both agree to
Oh wait
[+10] u/ArgyleGhoul: Get a load of this guy thinking he's gonna move the market
[+9] u/Bxdwfl: Green-by-open crowd got stuck in the blockade
[+9] u/confused_teabagger: My idea about transporting oil with high-altitude balloons doesn't sound so crazy now, does it
[+9] u/X211499Reddit: Premarket always fake
[+9] u/guhhhh_MU: It would make the most sense to buy puts today, so I will be buying calls. (Theta will get all of us)
[+9] u/ThermalChaser: Diddy was ahead of the curve yall
[+9] u/Remarkable-Garage126: Puts to the fucking moon
[+9] u/Remarkable-Action708: Row, row, row your boat,
Markets start to squeak,
Gas prices doing cardio
Every single week.
[+9] u/MeYouThemEveryone: Come on 🌮 please post another company name with its stock ticker, no one will say you are pumping the market
[+9] u/Sweaty_Slide: Idk if blockading a blockade is the move chief
[+9] u/No-Intention-8907: The pope is going to perform an exorcism on 🥭.
[+9] u/xlmtothemoon: i refuse to believe sam altman is a real person
[+9] u/orsomeshitidk: Lied to a recruiter about my current base salary and he’s submitting me to a job 60% higher than my current lmao
If you don’t need a job and they’re just trying to poach you, lie your ass off bro
[+9] u/Frozen_Shades: SPY blockaded from 680
[+9] u/Long_Exchange_7347: STOP FUCKIMG RECOVERINGP
[+9] u/Basic-Kale3169: I’m a retard, but I know that the proportion of the interest repayment on the debt is increasing at an alarming rate.
I also know inflation is getting out of control. I saw a bag of chips at $7.
I also know that it’s very unlikely rates will be cut based on the jobs and inflation numbers.
I also know that AI is currently a gold rush, and most companies that consume AI are placing targets on AI spending and not revenue.
[+9] u/tommyboy441: This is actually stupid (yes I am salty because I am holding SPY puts)
[+9] u/Bxdwfl: Has Iran ever considered lobbying? It works wonders for Israel
[+8] u/Athien: 🥭 thinks he is playing Uno with Iran and he used a Reverse card on the Strait
[+8] u/ThinkingOfTheOldDays: Good morning.
In less than an hour, aircraft from here will join others from around the world. And we will be launching the largest aerial battle in the history of mankind.
Mankind.
That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can’t be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests.
Perhaps it’s fate that today is the Fourth of July, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom. Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution, but from annihilation.
We are fighting for our right to live. To exist.
And should we win the day, the Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day when the world declared in one voice: “We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on! We’re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!”
[+8] u/Competitive_Ride: Just Stop Oil member of the year 🥭
[+8] u/booose6: I am finally back from my 30 day ban. I missed you regards
[+8] u/Confident_Bee1447: I was perfectly happy before I traded stocks. Now my life is a constant attempt to understand the matrix. But not in a zen way
[+8] u/BigBasedGrifter69: Dump all day then calls for Taco Tuesday? Same as always lads?
[+8] u/geewillie: The US has threatened to blockade of the strait of Hormuz. Best we can do is -0.5%
[+8] u/taffy_laffy: Post your lotto ticker here so when we re-enter a bull market in 2038 we can say that you called it.
[+8] u/lolonius1: Calls. Green after opening all day
[+8] u/mousepop321: What if we just left Iran? We blue up all their leaders and nuclear stuff, what if we just left,
[+8] u/Specialist_Fig9458: This shit ends green. Just like with Covid there’ll be an oh shit moment and we fucking tank. Just have to wait
[+8] u/hudson701: Bullshit headline on CNBC later "Dow closes gap to finish green on the day as traders shrug off Hormuz concerns, S&P, Nasdaq follow"
Today, as a ber, I will NOT be caught out again and lose money going short - as everything always goes up in this war, thus, I'll be buying the dip when it comes around in a few hours time.
[+8] u/Complex-Video-2202: There are some reports, JD visited MSFT on Dez 2025
[+8] u/Coley44: Market baseline performance is now based on whether or not a Nuclear Bomb is deployed. Seems reasonable.
[+8] u/Educational_Exit_5: "Freak the fuck out and sell everything" - Warren Buffet
[+8] u/Nghtmare-Moon: Yo I saw that 660 last night… where’d it go?
[+8] u/Remarkable-Action708: After trading for 20 years, All I know is stocks go up, down or sideways
[+8] u/mtnrnnr802: MSFT only down .3%. We are so fucking back.
[+8] u/DrummerCompetitive20: wtf why are we only -.40 from ATH from the deal bein called off??? lol
[+8] u/whagon-wheel: #STRAIT CONSTIPATION
[+8] u/booose6: This week is gonna be a bloody mf. Going after the pope and claiming youre JC is probably the top
[+8] u/necarpenter417: What happend to -2%?
[+8] u/Boheed: they call it broad daylight because women light up the world
[+8] u/bigchodeenergyy: We bout to be so fucking green today lmao
[+8] u/DealNormal8505: why would trump taco today? the markets are basically back to ath atp. and thats the only thing he cares about. he escalates when we at aths, de escalates when we dump. its simple. u guys are bettIng on a de escalation at ath. FOOLISH
[+8] u/Acceptable_Dirt69: NJ is the sweaty berhole of America
[+8] u/AGigatonicxs: Why did biden do this
[+8] u/_regionrat: Two countries teaming up to block the straight of Hormuz? Sounds bullish
[+8] u/Remarkable-Action708: They are so crazy we cannot let them have a ☢️ , let me threaten them with a crazy threat of wiping their entire civilization. Don’t you dare call me a hypocrite.
[+7] u/Nice_Chemical377: not really any room for a taco supreme, unless it's a war's over, we're best friends now kind of taco. not down enough.
[+7] u/Icy-Leave-9111: What are some lotto plays this month
[+7] u/cyril1991: Can’t we just stop the blockade and put tariffs on Iran? It worked for that random island full of penguins. They have no GDP to speak of, they are not harassing Israel and they are not building nukes as far as we know.
[+7] u/Sad-Substance8684: Don’t worry guys the Dow is at 50,000!
[+7] u/n1ck90z: Congratulations on your -0.7% day bears
[+7] u/pinghing: Anyone caught buying SPY PUTS will be BLOWN TO HELL. we are LOCKED AND LOADED to destroy the ber army.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO HIS MATTER
STOCK MARKET CZAR
[+7] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: hello it’s me, theta gang 8 hours from the future
it’s gon be a flat day
[+7] u/dont_downvote_SPECIL: Why didn't you full port in SanDisk? The stock is up again and you wouldn't need to worry about the market going down.
[+7] u/Amitriptylinekoning: Millions and billions and trillions of dollars MORE TO ISRAEL, mazel tov!
[+7] u/UnitedCup1814: So 🥭 is threatened to charge Americans 50 percent tariffs on Chinese goods if China buys oil from Iran.
[+7] u/Bxdwfl: Shout out to JD "fuck your calls and your couch" Vance
[+7] u/bzl33: I think the signals that will lead to the market crashing are going to be very hard to figure out for bears because they won't know what a bottom or near bottom is since Trump will pump.
[+7] u/spectra444: I’m buying calls at open not because I think I’ll make money… I’m buying calls at open to feel something. We are not the same
[+7] u/spectra444: Even after all that we’re only down .65 premarket. Bers in disbelief
[+7] u/No-Improvement3164: How about we PUT a Blockade on Truth Social. Just a Fucking thought you Crazy Bastards!!
[+7] u/Inevitable_Estate459: Bers always overpromise and underdeliver.
We are celebrating a 0.7% dip that gets bought up with the next fake headline.
[+7] u/killainvest: Sweet. Sold shares Friday afternoon and get them this morning for -2% thanks 🥭
[+7] u/Bxdwfl: How many trillions of dollars will it take for the US to lose another war? Find out next time on DRAGON BALL Z
[+7] u/FabulousLanguage6216: 🥭 : You closed the Strait. I blockaded it. We are not the same.
[+7] u/Educational_Exit_5: "Be fearful when OTHERS are greedy" - Warren Buffet
clearly today is the day!
[+7] u/ClarkFable: Sideways is the new plunge. Bear markets have gone extinct due to pro inflation policies. Source: am ber
[+7] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: Axios piece on "a deal is still possible" drops right before market open like clockwork
Lmfao
[+7] u/DealNormal8505: mango has no reason not to taco and all the reasons to blockade. u guys have spy within 2% of ath LMAOOOOO BOOLZ mango has no incentive to taco. morons. the taco only happens after market dumps fools
[+7] u/Bats490: Marketwatch posting articles about how JP Morgan recommends keep buying the dip and Goldman Sachs saying Meta/nvda is poised for a comeback means we're probably at the top.
[+7] u/Internal_Field5970: Today is shaping up to be pretty retarded
[+7] u/DealNormal8505: mango brain = is market within 3% of ath? if yes escalation and follow through with threats. If no. pretend to escalate and then taco. how do u fuckers not see it
[+7] u/Spy300: >The stock market isnt falling much because the currency it's priced in is losing so much purchasing power.
✅️
[+7] u/Axwe8: # REMINDER: If you go to Oklahoma to pick up the oil, you become become an instant millionaire. 🤡 🤡 🤡
[+7] u/ngr_fqt: GS should thanks us all for filling their derivatives trading desk pockets ☝️🤓
[+7] u/Specialist_Fig9458: “Oil pumping to $105 is good actually” -this retarded market LMAO
[+7] u/Wrong_Dog_4337: 35% of global supply comes from Persian gulf and hasn’t been shipped in 5 weeks. There is a shortage.
[+7] u/7fingersDeep: None. It’s tomorrow or Wednesday after his cronies buy cheap calls.
[+6] u/mangofruitdude: I counted 56 bulls celebrating and 19 bears complaining in the last hour. Make with that information what you want
[+6] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/OscarCapac made a bet that SPY would go to 720.0 within **5 days** when it was 677.719 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 0 wins and 3 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+6] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: Everyone has a plan until their port gets punched in the face
[+6] u/sck178: Is this it? Lame. It'll be bought back up, because we can't have any fun.
[+6] u/Long_Exchange_7347: CIRCUIT BREAKERZZZZZ
[+6] u/degenforlife69: Dump it you crazy bastards!
[+6] u/CEO-of-SOXL: Just attack ours ships already puss boys. Let’s get this rolling already? Enough with the child’s play
[+6] u/Me-Regarded: Do you think 🥭 tweets his plans without consulting any of the highly experienced, decorated and trained war strategists in the US gov?
Yeah, me too 🥺
[+6] u/civillyRange: Ber markets see some of the largest reversals
But it all goes down the toilet in the end 🚽💩🧻🪠
[+6] u/rhdkcnrj: Took so much shit for my USO calls last week. Wiping my tears with hundred dollar bills
[+6] u/Fun-Valuable-7355: OPEN THE FUCKING CASINOL!!
[+6] u/Amsnyc007: Green today. Just because.
[+6] u/Remarkable-Action708: Just thinking , at what point countries like China, India, Japan, Australia and pretty much rest of the world say enough is enough, you are destroying our economies too. WW3
[+6] u/PopularCut4124: Oh wow an idf soldier from axios pumping the market before open what a shock. These people are thr scum of society
[+6] u/Athien: JD as president would be funny, everyone hates him. The left, the right, our allies and our enemies.
He could unite the world
[+6] u/ReferenceFunny7142: Anyone in here have a small one ? (port)
[+6] u/Karl-Levin: Calls on pope declaring crusade against Trump
[+6] u/GME_fan: This is what happens when 🥭 didn't learn his lesson from Ghina last year. Keep bluffing 🌮
[+6] u/rcantu314: Bers are not ready for spy 700 this week and it shows
[+6] u/LowWarthog: This is going to turn Green isn’t it? It is known.
[+6] u/Avocadonot: #its still going up, green by open
[+6] u/Brawmethius: The irony of Sam Altman being a real life chat bot glazer is not lost on me.
[+6] u/johns2289: Oil could go to a bajillion and spy would pump to infinity
[+6] u/MikeyS2k: JPMorgan saying to buy...top signal
[+6] u/DOTACOLLECTOR: Why did the Dow just dump?
[+6] u/collegefootballfan69: Every Monday morning i wake up like Quinn from the show Homeland after he was exposed to Sarin.
[+6] u/guhhhh_MU: I remember SNDK at $200 and thinking, no way that's overpriced. Then I thought the same thing at 300,400,500,600,700 and now 800. When will I learn
[+6] u/LossMax: Am I the only one who thinks USA blocking the strait is actually the only move we got other than admit defeat?
[+6] u/d33p7r0ubl3: I'm ready to lose money today
[+6] u/Bxdwfl: Doesn't look like a matter of if
[+5] u/ResidentPack4103: The dip is a gift Bers....gtfo your puts now or booty holes will bleed this week
[+5] u/Athien: Believe it or not, another flat day
[+5] u/iamjt: My wife came to talk to me at 7.
Then my position flipped red.
Zzz
[+5] u/InitiativeGlum2507: My God, the bears are fucked. PM's already green.
[+5] u/Fearless-Area-532: Buying intel before the apple announcement
[+5] u/justanaveragejoe520: Markets probably waiting until 10am to see if the 🌮 trade is still in effect. With a potential special 8pm 🌮 priced in. It’s all 🌮 at this point
[+5] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: The markets are pumping because they think 🥭 is going to chicken out soon and leave Iran for good. Ironically, him not doing so would cause the markets to dump, which would then cause the markets to pump in a never ending cycle.
[+5] u/ajr901: So what’s the strategy here? I don’t know anything anymore.
[+5] u/Commercial_Seat_3704: MSFT will be 500+ by the end of the year
[+5] u/SlipperyToots: 🥭 in shambles that a threat to send the Navy only moves the market by half a percent
[+5] u/Spoliationcomplation: Palantir is only up because the Elves have perfected derivative swaps on morels and beech production
Once the mushroom market crashes the nerds will learn their place
[+5] u/throwawayurwaste: Maybe we'll drill so deep we'll find oil down there
[+5] u/Independent-Tree-985: Why waste the manpower diesel and ammo on ships?
What if the US just mined the strait, declared victory, and went home
[+5] u/WholeFront2789: OPEN THE FUCKING CASINO YOU BASTERDS
[+5] u/Snoo23417: Dump at open, semi-recovery and pump tomorrow. Seen that movie before.
[+5] u/FelixMumuHex: Bols to the slaughterhouse, steak is on the menu boys
[+5] u/Demonic_Maidens: Some people missed it. The taco was yesterday. It is was supposed to be an entire blockade of of the strait. It then changed to only if they are trying to go to /from Iranian ports. He TACOd within 12 hours
[+5] u/itseran: the fact that trump said oil might stay the same or rise slighty in the next months makes me wanna sell. aint the first rugpull setup ive seen
[+5] u/_IMF_: Trump tweet to save us where?
[+5] u/AerieZealousideal330: No GS Noooooo! My calls!!!
[+5] u/Majestic-Bedroom6783: Block strait, block port, cock block....NO ONE GIVES A FUCK.
Fucktard in charge, market go down.
[+5] u/BillyShears2015: ATM puts, 0dte calls half a point otm at open. Can’t go tits up
[+5] u/Snowman33001: Man, this is real livin’
[+5] u/Beneficial-Sail-6139: Poopie is stuck in my butthole and won’t come out … Good morning fellow retards
[+5] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: Damp it cmon there’s nothing to wait no more
[+5] u/Difficult-Branch8184: Green by open! Green by open!
[+5] u/drpa1n: 🥭 saying he expected the stock market to be down more is going to be his Dow at 50k moment
[+5] u/No-Improvement3164: Imagine Supreme Court rules AI too dangerous and everything has to be destroyed. 🤔🫣
[+5] u/orsomeshitidk: Sam Altman always look like he about to cry cause you stole his ball
[+5] u/Free-Championship828: Modern life is such a grind
[+5] u/DuaLipa247: Bessents husband currently playing with his butthole while 🫵 bull watch
[+5] u/Free-Championship828: Like even if it goes up then what? Hope it goes up again the next day? It’s so tiresome
[+5] u/jasperCrow: Say what you want, but this is one of the markets of all time!
[+5] u/The_Albertino: When did AMZN get back to 240?
[+5] u/followedbymeteor: Market paid it's respects to the straight of hormuz last night/ in premarket now it is allowed to pump straight up again
[+5] u/__nameless____: they gotta drop it a bit more bro, this is not convincing enough for entry
[+5] u/chalupabatman2404: CNBC talks more about politics than the actual market and economy
[+5] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Yep what did I say green by open. And I am a gay bear. This market is fucking awol.. I’m almost convinced this is just being propped just enough for exit liquidity before it collapses. The price action the past couple of weeks make zero fucking sense
[+5] u/Ok-Indication-3754: So oil back on the menu? This is a wash market
[+5] u/trent_upscale: Anybody else shitting rn
[+5] u/Lapidated_Llama: We about to open green aren’t we 😂
[+5] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: These euphoric pumps on AVGO AMD MRVL will come crashing down at some point.
[+5] u/Confident_Bee1447: What if the Whore Moose Strait doesn’t actually exist. QUESTION EVERYTHING
[+5] u/Mysterious_Ad6637: What is this dead ass man… a dump for ants?
[+5] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: **LETS GO!!! OPEN THE CASINO!!!**
[+5] u/Good_Application6245: masters over wars back on boys
[+5] u/bigchodeenergyy: Stop fighting it. Just buy calls
[+5] u/ImpressiveAmount4684: **The power of 🥭 compels you!** ✝️
[+5] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: And there's a trillion to be made by shorting $TSLA. Good luck timing it without getting blown the fuck out.
[+5] u/d33p7r0ubl3: You think ships float entirely on top of water?
[+5] u/9yqOW85P8XNcEze38: Because occasionally the guys who swim the barrels across will, for the vibes, dive down deep to kinda take their minds off things.
[+34] u/ziggs_ulted_japan: I'm a simple man. I see pltr and I want them to die.
[+22] u/Lambo_soon: War over +9%, war back on -.4%
[+21] u/TyroneSwoopes: Global energy crisis is actually super bullish
[+20] u/VincenteThomp: Ceasefire cancelled and the market is hardly down. Almost like it never mattered.
[+19] u/absolutxtr: This market is literally retarded
[+18] u/Jazari1: atleast pope chimed in to say fuck mango
[+18] u/UnivalveX: dollar up, oil up, yields up. who gives a shit? this markets going up regardless
[+17] u/MaybeYesMayb: So we rip like 5% on news of talks and we go down .60% when said talks dissolve? lol OKAY
[+16] u/sloanemonroe: Remember 5 weeks ago when the experts were saying that if the strait was closed for just 3 weeks that there would be major problems? Now it’s been closed for 6 weeks and this will be the 7th but nobody cares.
[+16] u/CharmingSoil: It's funny the market doesn't take the blockade seriously. Economically it's far worse than what's happened so far.
[+15] u/Bonkers119: You would think failed negotiations would mean worse than 1%, but this market is regarded
[+15] u/OkLength37: Imagine if orange was prez during ww2, “they bombed Pearl Harbor but I have decided to also bomb Pearl Harbor”
[+15] u/Loperenco: Oil casually dumping moments before market open, very cool
[+15] u/ManyHead6662: not trusting this fake ah pump
[+15] u/NegotiationWorking48: **Sunday Night:**
Iran unwilling to talk with USA anymore
**Monday at 9am:**
Iran willing to resume talks with USA
[+14] u/youreaditfirst: Oil is up and they market is up. Everyone hated cheap oil
[+13] u/IndividualNo7155: Hi, I’m pooping again (second time today :))
[+13] u/JugoShvili: It’s a shame Zuck shut down the Metaverse we could’ve just laid claim to the virtual Strait of Hormuz and shipped oil that way.
[+13] u/UnivalveX: how is this shit still pumping man. insane. bers can't even catch a break
[+13] u/UMC_MadAuk: Dumping is too obvious right?
[+13] u/Anonymustafar: Actual clown market, this is the most egregious manipulation so far
[+12] u/traderbusto: What if we find the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet and put them in charge of everything?
[+12] u/JuliusCaesar121: Why make threats that no one believes? How do we go from lifting sanctions on Iranian oil to prevent a spike to blockading it?
This is like showing everyone your poker cards are 2 and 6 unsuited and then bluffing
[+12] u/Diamond-Solo: We're supposed to be going down, not up.
Retard market.
I'm never buying puts again
[+12] u/Xzlk: Ironically the situation is worse now than SPY 630, therefore we will be green today. Calls.
[+12] u/angrybubblez: Bulls are like the kids with rich parents, everything just gets handed to em.
[+12] u/mallison945: Imagine getting prison for life and people refer to you as warehouse Luigi.
[+12] u/kerrykingzgo-T: HE CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!! I scream as I wrap another baconator. "Dude stop crying" my coworker says as he hits his vape.
[+12] u/patmccock86: I cannot believe they killed my massive put profits right before opening bell again
[+12] u/Icy-Motor-8519: As someone who plays 20% puts and 80% calls. What is even the point of buying puts anymore at this point. This is gonna be green today. On the bad days it’s just flat when it should be deep red and then when even a sliver of positive news comes out it rips. War is priced in now.
[+12] u/Senpai_Slime: We need a -8% to retrace this retard rally
[+11] u/jackpearson2788: Oil hits $200 a barrel…spy turns positive on hopes ceasefire holds
[+11] u/HistorianMuch8963: Black Monday is not what it use to be
[+11] u/jerm2z: I just used Claude and it was able to diagnose my health condition, and also make pills and spit them out through my computer's floppy drive.
I'm a doctor, nurse, receptionist, and a pharmacist, so yeah, I guess I'm kinda worried about all my jobs now.
[+11] u/legible_print: 🥭 announced HIS blockade just so he can announce the end of THE blockade
[+11] u/Val44x: FAILED PEACE TALKS
US NAVY BLOCKADE
MONDAY OPENING SPY CANDLE UNDER 800k VOLUME LMAOOOOOOO
[+11] u/silver0199: My man, where have you been all weekend
[+10] u/Open_Waltz6902: France and UK preparing "naval mission" to blockade the blockade blockading the blockade. That's why we are recovering
[+10] u/stonetrade: Fake deal announced +3%. Realize it’s fake -0.7%. Who are the retards running this market?
[+10] u/Ahzmer: Like I'm an oil bull, and I'm contemplating - is the market really pricing in that this Hormuz situation HAS to be resolved, because the other alternatives are so catastrophic that they cannot happen? Like to the point where market believes that US will commit to whatever methods to resolve this FAST if need be, so that hormuz opens and NVIDIA chips can keep getting produced? Soon there won't be many paths forward - either a big crash or a big resolve. Or maybe im just regarded. W/E, Oil ftw for now.
[+10] u/TheBlueBlaze: The 🌮 already happened yesterday when the blockade got downgraded from the entire strait to Iranian ports. Anyone hoping for a double-shell taco might be disappointed.
[+10] u/Zestyclose-Bit271: Remember in the before times when world events would happen and the WH wouldn’t make up bullshit before market open to pump it
[+10] u/BobsBurners420: Some of you guys are still drawing lines on charts and calling it technical analysis in this clown market
[+10] u/DarkoDokkan: Kind of funny that the market doesn't care if the strait is blocked
[+10] u/SaveTheAles: 30 minutes til we raise the jolly Roger and plunder some boats.
[+10] u/Only-Cranberry-4502: It’s probably just going to be flat the whole day
[+10] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: In my opinion, it is the bears who are straight
[+10] u/Unhappy_Hedgehog_808: Global energy crisis? Who cares?
MUST. KEEP. PUMPING.
[+9] u/Anonymustafar: Europoors figuring out they have no serious level of influence over geopolitics anymore in the last 3 months brings a smile to my face
[+9] u/Threebridges2: CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG, CASINOS OPEN!!!
TIME FOR ANOTHER WEEK OF REGARDED DEGENERACY!!!
[+9] u/AcademicStandard3701: It’s almost 9:30 where is the 🌮 tweet
[+9] u/ProudestPeasant: I'm just gonna sit here watching this retard market do its retard thing
[+9] u/Overflow0X: 10mins to the bell. Sure he'd drop a tweet anytime now. Such a regarded market.
[+9] u/JayRoo83: If we're going to blockade their blockade what's to stop them from blockading our blockade of the original blockade
[+9] u/TwoNine13: The markets yearn for the pump
[+9] u/Normal_Loss_220: The bol ber bullshitis getting kinda annoying. It's every comment. Just spamming bol r fuk ber r fuk.
Gimme some outrageous 0dte calls/puts that will either moon or be worthless dammit.
[+9] u/AfraidAnalyst: Not even sure it’s bullish or bearish but it fucked a lot of people lmao
[+9] u/Creative-Package6213: SPY will end the day up 1%, why you may ask? Because the market is full of retards
[+9] u/leeuwvanvlaanderen: I’m not religious but I’ve suddenly started believing in the Antichrist lmao
[+9] u/poopieuser909: whatever this is all fake
[+9] u/spellbadgrammargood: Kinda funny that market prices in TACOs
[+9] u/Commercial-District1: So 20 minutes to something happening, meaning nothing?
[+9] u/Dangerous_Time_1450: I’m a bol and I don’t get how we aren’t down more 🤷♂️
[+9] u/Threebridges2: Drunk asf at the airport about to board a 10 hour flight. Hope I can act casual enough for them to let me on lol
[+9] u/haihaihaihaihaihai1: BEARS LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AGAIN
[+9] u/Polysorbate800: Mother Teresa is WEAK On Crime!
[+9] u/cow_grass: Bers aint even given a chance to collect. Lmao
[+9] u/wenxuan2: Holy 0dte calls might actually work. Not joking
[+9] u/Alone_Education_2530: The funniest thing was when the news channel had a countdown on live television for Trumps annihilation of civilization like it was a Fortnite live event.
[+9] u/tandoori_taco_cat: the tweet depicting himself as Christ wasn't enough?
[+8] u/neal_73: I came here to understand what just happened
[+8] u/SomePlastic: 🥭 really said "I'm going to build a blockade and Iran will pay for it."
[+8] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Some of yall heard, "Never trade on emotion."
And thought, "Nah, I hate mango so much I want the US to become a failed state, this single OTM put is gonna make me a thousandaire!"
[+8] u/BenisSpaghetti: I am beginning to think Flavortown isn't a real place.
[+8] u/ukweeve: Im testing out a blockade of the fridge from my kids. They hate me even more than usual. Let that be a lesson to you all.
[+8] u/PlaysWthSquirrels: Bring back Toyotathon, save the economy.
[+8] u/BenisSpaghetti: US moves all ships to Middle East. China moves all ships to East China Island. Surprised Pikachu face. 😯
[+8] u/OkLength37: What would Warren buffet do in times like this? He would make sure to diversify his portfolio comfortably between Tesla 0dte options and spy 0dte options, maybe a lock in the prediction market or two.
[+8] u/ShittyUsernane1222: JP Morgan (untranslated): Buy the dip
JP Morgan (translated): Buy our multi trillion heavy bags
[+8] u/user-namepending: Whats going on? I was told there'd be a bloodbath today
[+8] u/UnivalveX: we will never see another red day
[+8] u/BigBritches619: Just cost me 175 to fill up my truck so i can get to work to pay to fill up my truck
[+8] u/KarlLachsfeld: Bols excited for another 6 months of flat SPY.
[+8] u/AnxiousFrame6696: Plunge protection team working their asses of
[+8] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: Microsoft is green?? Oh we are so cooked
[+8] u/Kinnema: Man this is so consistent and predictable. I just lose money every week
[+8] u/spacemoses: If this is the market going up irrationally on war news, we're actually *really* dropping.
[+8] u/fire_alarmist: Gaps between the SPY 1 minute candles means there is just straight up nonsense going on. There should never be gaps between 1 minute candles on the most liquid ticker on the stock market during market hours, especially the open.
[+8] u/PsychoSynthesizer: "We've created a virus. But it's so dangerous, we won't release it"....then WTF did you make it in the first fucking place, you arrogant c@nts
[+8] u/Threebridges2: Nothing. Ever. Happens.
[+8] u/Molten-Helldiver: So do we tank completely in 15 mins or nah
[+8] u/Retaining-Wall: The market has, somewhat shockingly, landed on the conclusion: no news is indeed no news.
[+8] u/Ecodriverz: Spy legit glued to opening price yet again. What’s fucking new
[+8] u/BigMike-57: Iran abandoning uranium enrichment
[+8] u/ManBearPig_1983: I’m becoming an Oil man now.
[+8] u/Napster-mp3: Such a pain cleaning before the cleaners
[+8] u/KristyKae-12: My cat loves to visit his box while I’m on WSB. 🤔
[+8] u/HolyBubbiDiver: Pope Leo is not afraid of Trump. Meanwhile im terrified of the upcoming pump
[+8] u/moneygon_: I aint heard a thing about Ukraine Russia in like a year
[+8] u/edapalooza: he's already in the WH
[+7] u/ZombieDracula: Israel is like that twitchy guy at the bank heist that just starts blasting and we're all just running in separate directions
[+7] u/NotMe357: Don't you guys find it weird that the blockage happens 30mins after the market open?
People expected that 🥭 will TACO, so they'll front runs and then about 5-10mins before 10AM ET then 🥭 will announce the TACO and the market keep pumping and whoever that didn't buy at the opening will now FOMO to make the market go up higher.
Lets see who wins today. The FOMO or the Paperhands.
[+7] u/Flat-Focus7966: Actual dump will happen after most puts are closed...
[+7] u/Independent_Term5790: 30k comments over the weekend, just to open green
[+7] u/whatsagoinon1: This is why we are all getting rich!
https://preview.redd.it/meej3oyahyug1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0de158239dc35823a4d04b0e9226656f35fab9b4
[+7] u/weewoowewoooo: SPY not even down .5% lmfaoooooo
[+7] u/Suspicious-Return809: This market is sideways as fuck. I was hoping for the overnight loss to stick so I can buy at a discount. If you are not long in this market you're fucked. I've enjoyed the fucked entertainment though lol
[+7] u/more_aero: Guys, oil is up 7% and Iran is holding their ground lol this bout to be ugly
[+7] u/Zestyclose-Bit271: I’m of the opinion that after we ended green on the day 🥭 threatened to kill 90 million people by 8 PM that we may never close another day red again
[+7] u/Admirable-Shop5407: I'm trembling in my little bear boots right now for market open
[+7] u/ShittyUsernane1222: to anyone who says financial Institutions are better than wsb regards, remind them that they full ported heavily leveraged credit default swaps and CDOs during 2008
[+7] u/shmito17: This is the most ridiculous price action lol
[+7] u/StonksInvesteur: NOTHING EVER HAPPENED
[+7] u/Micheal_Hancho: Why do bears fall for it every single time?
[+7] u/Taco_muncher_yumyum: 🥭 keeps the war going because the markets aren't crashing
markets aren't crashing because they think 🥭 will eventually TACO
[+7] u/ShittyUsernane1222: \> bulls bragging up price rises in premarket
rug-pull at open
[+7] u/Gloomy_Necesary: Im sitting this market out. I can lose out on 10% gains over the next year vs my money market account. This is bananas and absolutely regarded.
[+7] u/SpaceCatVII: Step 1 - Blockade ports
Step 2 - ???
Step 3 - Profit
[+7] u/coffeetrdr: Name one bullish factor in equities. go ahead I'll wait.
[+7] u/MaybeYesMayb: Vix green / oil up and spy down .30 OKAY I know who to blame 😤 but I won’t say it. Fine I’ll say it it’s the 🧃
[+7] u/hermeskino715: Bers watch in disgust as they see the markets propped up by bols and apes throwing shit at 1 another
[+7] u/SuspiciousHumor7127: Fuck. Fidelity app not working
[+7] u/options1_trader: i skip leg days so my dick looks bigger
[+7] u/dabblesest: MSFT is signaling the apocalypse rn and some of you are missing it.
[+7] u/the_mind_goblin1: bears get to sell their puts for a 2% gain, you should be happy thats way better than you usually get
[+7] u/Valkorion335786: I talk a lot of shit but Pakistan ATLEAST tried
[+6] u/awetfartruinedmylife: Alright MSFT thanks for the fun, time to resume the march to zero
[+6] u/AllianceOrTheHorde: When you feel bearish, be bullish, when you feel like a bull, be bullish
[+6] u/FactCivil1302: 100% sure news is coming out that pltr is getting some kind of contract, something is going on
[+6] u/LeagueofData: Guys, it's not fucking priced in. And the market is not retarded. It's the humans that are retarded
Market go up when money comes in, market go down when money comes out.
[+6] u/NOT_A_OFFICER: Every time I trust the janitors stock advice I lose money. He just seems so friggin confident though.
[+6] u/RareButterscotch5891: Cant be happier that im 20 miles away from my computer.
[+6] u/UnknownM007: No real moves until 10 at least. And even if the blockade goes ahead, boots on the ground is now off the table. It’s all about economic pressure on China who will eventually call Iran and tell them to agree to a US deal
[+6] u/ProudPeak3570: premarket not red enough to require a tweet i guess
[+6] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: You all bought puts on friday expecting an escalation didnt you?
[+6] u/ToroLoco_TL: So we're gonna have news in the next 45 minutes?
[+6] u/Morocier: lotta bear posts on the front page, we gotta be down like3% right? maybe 5%? no way you idiots would be acting like this over less than half a percent
[+6] u/dweeegs: Bears watching their puts’ value slowly and steadily shrink before mark open
[+6] u/idontknow1967: Banks not having a good time today
[+6] u/Seymour_asis501: The fomo is real this morning
[+6] u/hermeskino715: Whats the news? There has to be 🌮s for SPY to V like that
[+6] u/frogboyjr: even as a permabull it feels like this pump is a bit ridiculus
[+6] u/aew2019: Is this it, bears?
Is this all the fury you can muster?
Pathetic.
[+6] u/JPOW_Used_No_Lube: I know I keep saying this and keep being wrong, but surely puts are the move
[+6] u/Motley843: Im tired of these motherfuckin snakes on this motherfucking plane
[+6] u/Immediate-Coast-5066: spy
Put/call ratio is [1.95](javascript:void(0)) \- wtf is happening why market so bearish on options
[+6] u/gregot76: they didnt pump this to actually allow people to buy puts, we are going green right?
[+6] u/fire_alarmist: Zero volume again, just another stock market philibuster
[+6] u/HolyBubbiDiver: The market right now: Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
[+6] u/MrNo_Balls: I am bear and even I know this will be green by EOD
[+6] u/BiggieMoe01: Someone check on bears. They were convinced of a massive drop
[+6] u/EyeSea7923: We went from a meme spec stock market, to meme commodities, and really just a Truth Social market now.
[+6] u/HypaHypa_: When do you get past the “why did i sell” part of taking profit in trading? Never? Or when you actually have a plan?
[+6] u/Alone_Education_2530: Need mango to double down on the blockade.
[+6] u/jay4281: LMAO BEARS (I’m bear 😞)
[+6] u/SouthNice7324: Did he truth social or something?
[+6] u/IGuessBruv: It was actually priced in
[+6] u/Independent_Term5790: So straight closes at 10am lol
[+6] u/Appropriate-Gap-7799: At this point we could face a literal extinction event and SPY would go green
[+6] u/defordj: Cnbc has started putting the month on the ticker for oil futures hahahaha were fucking cooked
[+6] u/Significant_Speed854: Said it last week, I’ll say it again…
On March 23, retail selling intraday was higher than retail buying for the first time since 2023.
Guess what: SPY has closed green the majority of days since then.
Feel things are manipulated?! Feel shaken out?!
[+6] u/ProudestPeasant: what'd he tweet this time
[+6] u/Electrical-Snow5167: I just realized why it keeps pumping.
1. Announce bad news. (Vance visit failed, -1.5%).
2. Announce even worse news (Complete blockade, add on -0.5%)
3. Walk back even worse news (Only blockade Iran, Stocks up 1.5%)
So just because they did not completely fuck things up, the algos guess it isn't that bad and could always be worse. So that -1.5% only is -0.5%.
[+6] u/ziggs_ulted_japan: If pltr hits 140 this week I'll buy a green dildo to fuck myself with just like it fucked my puts lol
[+6] u/WrongIntroduction686: With 🥭, I love how everything has a time. It’s never “we will blockade the strait” it’s always “tomorrow at 9 AM EST, _______” just STFU and do what u gotta do and stop making a spectacle
about everything
[+6] u/Mysterious-Mole-2720: Tobacco is a vegetable.
[+6] u/zdravkov321: Get his number, playa.
[+5] u/protectthezen: Donny stroke would hit like crack
[+5] u/CurtisRichardson: I predict today people will sell calls and puts for massive losses and then immediately realize if they waited 12 more mins it was going to go your way and further! Me probably being one of them unfortunately.
[+5] u/Country_Gravy420: Did anyone let SPY know that oil is still 103?
[+5] u/Equivalent-Net-1557: Negative to a positive today. Good luck. See you tomo 😎
[+5] u/NewlyOld31: I feel like MSFT gets shit on every day lol just bad news every single day.
[+5] u/NewlyOld31: Tech is immune to all this bullshit right?
[+5] u/Big-Quote4483: oh no. MSFT green pre market can only mean one thing smh
[+5] u/iiGoodVibesii: Why is MSFT up?
As a bagholder I'm laughing. We'll get punished for being Green in pre-market, I bet.
[+5] u/Far-Requirement9180: wtf is this, a pre market manipulation for ants ?
[+5] u/Zfreezy: 🥭 preparing the toppings for his 🌮, please be patient
[+5] u/financiallythriving: Imagine sitting on the sidelines holding cash
[+5] u/Holysmokesx: Lmao my puts actually lost money, insane.
[+5] u/rubsdikonxpensivshit: $678 is the level I’m watching on spy. If it doesn’t hold above that/rejects it I’m riding full 🐻
[+5] u/The_BakedCrusader: Can anyone who believes SPY will reach 700 soon explain to me why it will when it couldn't do that for months before the war? What is better about the market now than before the war?
[+5] u/Ecodriverz: Spy already glued to open price 💀
[+5] u/Threebridges2: God this whole war is incredibly regarded
[+5] u/Jazari1: so... my prediction is chyna will start 3rd blockage and oil will reach 200$ spy goes 769 and we will ride to sunset in our little clowncars in our nice clownsuits singing gumbaya
[+5] u/meatstick94: the news only matters when it’s good news
[+5] u/Immediate-Coast-5066: total volume traded in spy is Volume: 493.79K - lame - no one buys/selle this is the reason market is stand still
[+5] u/wenxuan2: So... whats the next DLC of the trading market? We had done wars, straits, oil spikes. Its boring now and all old news.
[+5] u/Oneok-Field: If we could go back to the 17th century I'd 100% full port an Alchemy startup that claimed they were about to make a breakthrough that could turn iron into gold. If only I had a time machine.
[+5] u/Thotmas01: Ain’t no way we blockade the strait during market hours right. Where’s the taco? There’s only 15 minutes left.
[+5] u/pleasestoptalkin: Ok if Intel is pumping the bubble is about to blow
[+5] u/Love-for-everyone: Enjoy your day bears!!
[+5] u/HalaMadridPapaFlo: LMAO bers in shambles as they’re expecting a 5% drop by now
[+5] u/No_Somewhere3288: Just send a bunch of empty decoy tankers through and let them blow their load. Then while they’re reloading we can send the oil through. Can’t go tits up.
[+5] u/Heavenisaplace176: The market is a pressure cooker that wants to go up …..
[+5] u/LasyKuuga: Booked a phone call with a recruiter tmr cuz my boss wasn’t gonna be in. Now he changed his mind rip. Need to sneak out now
[+5] u/Anchises1: Which branch? Hoo rah
[+5] u/ManyHead6662: i declare this pump f and g
[+5] u/NewlyOld31: Only need 3 consecutive days of MSFT hitting plus 10% to be even
[+5] u/Jacobpapi: People buying ahead of TACO
[+5] u/All-IN-YourMOM: I heard Melania will make another statement today.
[+5] u/powerboner: GO MSFT GO!!! AND STAY THERE YOU FUCK!
[+5] u/Thotmas01: 45 minutes until we block the strait. Do you really think it’s gonna happen?
[+5] u/NervousChemistry7401: Watching this house of cards build this morning.
[+5] u/Jayyson-_-: Who’s ready for taco Tuesday
[+5] u/New_Internet_3965: Never would have imagined a scenario where I would be team pope. But here we are
[+5] u/DufflebagJoe: Bers got one shotted by Axios lol
[+5] u/BunsMcCheeks: There is nothing bullish. Our cheeks are getting clapped in a pointless war. Gas is skyrocketing. Nobody can afford rent. The President thinks he's Christ on earth literally. but guess what?
SPY will still close 2% green.
[+5] u/Pessimistic93: Find yourself a girl that loves you as much as the market loves going up
[+5] u/NiceJobSon: I’m on the toilet in case that one guy asks.
[+5] u/wenxuan2: Just enable futes trading, whenever we get a big dump on Monday = go long on the daily low. It will never be red on the day once it maintains green for atleast 1h+
[+5] u/MaybeYesMayb: Bulls and bears both fucked price going to get pinned here all day
[+5] u/Stack_Johnson: This stronger than expected weekend recovery tells me the sellers are getting exhausted. And I suppose anyone who would sell has had plenty of opportunities so far.
Meanwhile the $2T deficit spending continues (printer)
[+5] u/UnivalveX: SPY for the last 10 days: IM NOT FUCKING SELLING
[+5] u/ShitpostSulthan: all the overnight drama, only for the market to open green in 20mins.. 🤡 world we live in..
[+5] u/Due-Information-6277: Strait is old news. market is forward looking unless anything worse happens than ending a civilization lol.
[+5] u/IslandExact429: Crazy market. Not long or short
Sandisk will touch $1k a share. Stocks never go down
[+5] u/jiggolo420: Anyone else feel like this is going green today?
[+5] u/Cheeseheroplopcake: Green in premarket ALWAYS guarantees a green day. Foolproof.
[+5] u/JugoShvili: Looking forward to the market opening in 27 minutes
[+5] u/Burtonwurton: No new positions for me, just selling on the way up to reduce exposure at this point.
[+5] u/suddenly-scrooge: there's no stopping this train
[+24] u/Awuxy: So like is obvious to everyone now this whole shit is rigged? Like I stopped trading cause of how ridiculous this has been
[+23] u/cbusoh66: I guess Bloomberg and WSJ refused to run a fake headline this morning, thank god there's a tabloid like the NY Post that is always willing to help do the dirty work for 🥭
[+21] u/JasonMrazsHat: IRANIAN OFFICIALS ARE STUDYING ABANDONING URANIUM ENRICHMENT AS A U.S. CONDITION FOR ENDING THE WAR - NEW YORK POST
was the headline
[+20] u/kwarknagel: BREAKING NEWS: US to levy Hormuz toll, to be paid in trump/melania coin
[+19] u/Nervous-Basis-1707: Insiders are robbing option traders blind. A lot of you should be trading less right now.
[+19] u/vermilli21: What a fucking clown show, its actually green
[+18] u/JohtoFan: Here's the 10am surprise:
The Chinese navy has announced they, too, will form a blockade around the US' blockade of the Iranian closure of the strait of Hormuz.
[+18] u/SirPanic12: All the red incoming memes yesterday aged like milk
[+17] u/Hot_Ice5175: US EXISTING HOME SALES (MOM) (MAR) ACTUAL: -3.6% VS 1.7% PREVIOUS
Jesus fuck.
[+16] u/sdubftw: What the actual fuck is going on? Hahaha
[+16] u/Ecstatic_Layer_9736: Im beginning to think iran bought calls
[+16] u/randomnameforwe: D-did the market just invent it's own TACO and decide to ignore reality? Holy shit, we are so fucked.
[+15] u/fuzzywuzzy123: I just made $685 in 6 minutes.
[+15] u/Substantial-Art5008: I’m switching to eu markets this is some fucking bullshit
[+15] u/DramaticDirection292: This market is a joke
[+15] u/guccitian: https://preview.redd.it/kwhda44gyyug1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36a35f00f6fbd738a47d8e55f92dff5ff05b9f3b
[+14] u/FiveEggHeads: wait so THE NY POST is a source of pump for algos now? FFs what's next, the national enquirer posting that Kim Kardashian vows to re-open the straight?
[+14] u/itsnotshade: Blockade officially starts so we’re bullish
[+14] u/sjtomcat: This is the most absurd clown market I’ve ever seen nothing makes sense
[+14] u/clubdirthill: US Navy now blockading WTI. Any attempt to go past $105 will be met with deadly force.
[+14] u/CherryPokerGame: The misinformation campaign is successful
[+14] u/EricJuggles: TACO Tuesday already priced in.
[+14] u/Phandomtrigger: Market pumping on straight copium and black magic wtf
[+13] u/8v2HokiePokie8v2: Hormuz closed: -10%
Ceasefire: +8%
Ceasefire was fake: +0%
US blockading Hormuz: +1%
Somebody make it make sense
[+13] u/solidsneeze: all U.S. and Iran agreed on is to keep making announcements and make options plays off them
[+13] u/Connect-Engine-7267: Was that a pump on the expectation of 🌮??
[+13] u/luckyinfil: BERS SO BROKE THEY EAT CEREAL WITH A FORK TO SAVE MILK
[+13] u/Accomplished-Mango92: “Theyre going to reopen the strait and mexico will pay for it” SPY +12%
Mexico says fake news SPY +3 more %
[+13] u/Jumpinmycar: Everyone did 2 things:
1. Saw this coming
2. Bet against it anyways.
[+13] u/Phantom01001: Blockade + War = - 0.04
No Blockade + War is over (its not over) = 2 %
thats beyond retarded
[+13] u/EntrepreneurOld7858: If you're still a ber, at this point you just need to be banned for your own safety 🤌
[+13] u/Tubular_Blimp: I buy calls - I lose money. I sell calls - I lose money
[+13] u/bols_are_cooked: Reminds me of 2006-2007 when everyone was celebrating and ignoring the bad data.
[+12] u/StrangeInsanity: We are literally a headline market.
[+12] u/borkdpasito: This is the dumbest market I’ve ever traded in
[+12] u/PossibleLack835: LOL IRAN ABOUT TO LOSE CONTROL OF THE STRAIT AND BERS THINK THAT'S GOING TO CRASH THE MARKET.
[+12] u/TouchTipz: Went from -1.5% weekend futures to green
This is some made up shit right here
[+12] u/Old_Lab_2170: I love how fear that AI is a bubble could cause a correction last year but a looming Great Depression doesn’t even register.
[+12] u/GioSlayr: Bulls are so greedy that they can't even let bears have one dip day.
[+12] u/MoreOutcome8541: Lmao look at this volume. You do realize you’re just exit liquidity right
[+12] u/ToughVegetable2483: I feel a reversal coming
[+12] u/Few-Frosting-4213: The heat death of the universe has now been priced in. Pandemonium regnat.
[+12] u/PossibleLack835: BERS GOING FROM WAR/GEOPOLITICS EXPERTS TO FAST FOOD WORKERS LMAO
[+12] u/YouDontKnowDino: Markets green but we’re all gonna be paying $8 a gallon lmao
[+12] u/alexmark002: The NY Post report appears based on unverified claims, not official Iranian positions.
Iran's nuclear chief (Mohammad Eslami) and Foreign Ministry have repeatedly stated in the past week that uranium enrichment is a "non-negotiable sovereign right" and "necessary" for any ceasefire deal.
[+12] u/DelphiTsar: Double blockade, deteriorating ceasefire.
Up .05%
[+11] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: bers must be furious lmao
[+11] u/AmbitiousFigure1323: Ironically the market pumping is what will allow Trump to do the blockage or even land troops, if the markets falls however he will be forced to pull out again.
[+11] u/ercanbas: Come bears. Gather around the fire. We’ll have our day soon.
[+11] u/yawntastic: BREAKING: New York Post: Iranian officials are studying abandoning uranium enrichment as a U.S. condition for ending the war
That's probably what the pump was.
[+11] u/Equivalent-Train-906: all bad news has already been priced in. all good news is a complete surprise regardless of how telegraphed it is... or even if it was already released once or twice before
[+11] u/emperor_dinglenads: Calls. It's always calls.
[+11] u/Neemzeh: When is this bitch of a market going to just DIE
[+11] u/donniedarko1010: Peace talks fail, extra blockade, even if war restarted they'll not dump the market. Bad time to be a ber.
[+11] u/TheHowlerTwo: So is the entire market just driven by ai bots checking twitter headlines for keywords??
[+11] u/Leading-Onion4659: Minus + minus = plus
Blockade + blockade = no blockage (they cancel each other)
It’s basic Maths guys
[+11] u/humanoideric: a blockade on the blockade, thats a call
[+11] u/Practical-Health3455: This will be mother of all rug pulls. I am out.
[+10] u/AlligatorRaper: Taco insiders loaded. Tweet coming soon.
[+10] u/GreedyCommie: I'm so done with this retarded market
[+10] u/ssaxamaphone: Iran is manipulating headlines to make money in the markets. lol.
[+10] u/old-cow666: How is this green ? I have absolutely no idea.
[+10] u/nigofe: Nothing matters. Stonks only go up. Free Money. Why say no?
[+10] u/CoverThat7433: Bears fully opened their mouth, waiting for their puts to print. But come the green dildos
[+10] u/k3mpk3mp: All cash gang here, how the fuck am I supposed to know when to buy back in? Double blockade is bullish? lol
[+10] u/zainwhb: God make SNDK dip once more time to 500, trust me this time I will buy it, just once more.
[+10] u/spudbro00: vix green, oil green, markets green. Most rigged game in the world. Like betting on fixed sports matches, only you aren't the one doing the fixing
[+10] u/SmarterThanWSBMods: Fakest green I’ve ever seen but I’m still not touching puts lol
[+10] u/broke_person: Blockade on +0.5%
Blockade off +3%
Ceasefire version #2 +3%
Ceasefire cancelled -0.5%
Ceasefire version #3 +4%
[+10] u/w33dw1zard420: We’re pumping on sloptarded tabloid propaganda now?
[+10] u/SteveClimbFish3rd: This bear got fucked.
[+10] u/ring_of_slattern: Every fiber of my being says to buy puts here. So calls are absolutely the play
[+10] u/ring_of_slattern: Being a financial analyst seems like a fun job.
Stock goes up: "We're raising price target"
Stock goes down: "We're lowering price target"
SPY up: "Buy now, economy is great!"
SPY down: "Buy now, rebound imminent!"
[+9] u/FatFluffyFish: Real market opening in 8 mins
[+9] u/boringfantasy: Another fucking green day. Absolutely hilarious.
[+9] u/JohtoFan: Guys, I don't think Trump will TACO on the blockade. Memes aside, it's a relatively restrained, safe, but aggressive move to make against Iran.
How can you tell for sure he will TACO? When he threatens something obviously stupid or unrealistic. Like making Mexico pay for a wall. Or threatening to kill an entire civilization.
[+9] u/victoryboiiTCG: National Enquirer - Iran has agreed to open the strait, not charge a toll AND pay for all damages caused by the war. Also they have agreed to say thank you
[+9] u/Wrath_FMA: Fuck it today is the day I get liquidated
[+9] u/robmafia: >IRANIAN OFFICIALS ARE STUDYING ABANDONING URANIUM ENRICHMENT AS A U.S. CONDITION FOR ENDING THE WAR - NEW YORK POST
in case you still don't get it
[+9] u/FatFluffyFish: Apparently, no tweet = bullish. fk it, everything's bullish at this point
[+9] u/zeusbox: Never trust weekend doom posts ever again. This market is regarded more than all of you combined.
[+9] u/jeezuspieces: Bought puts. Ain't no way
[+9] u/AntiqueProfessor5134: What is even happening? Even as somebody fairly bullish I'm confused why the market is on the verge of green today. Double blockade is bullish?
[+9] u/SneedIsHere: 675 puts seem like the move
[+9] u/Czyzzle: For fuck sake what is holding spy up?
[+9] u/Altair82: we were promised Black Monday and got Wayne Brady Monday instead
[+9] u/tristis_veritas: It's wild. Oil over 100 and market barely reacting only means one thing.
Inflation for the poors. Money printing, bailouts, and giant profits for the rich.
[+9] u/crossdefaults: Corn $70,000 is the new Maginot Line. I don't know what a Maginot line is.
[+9] u/Fine_Specialists: Markets about to bleed down
[+9] u/DeadguyTheLateGI: I say this rarely because it's so easy to be wrong, but puts seem appropriate. The market's prevailing opinion right now is "nothing ever happens," especially with the president reliably TACOing in response to predictable pressures and always backing off his most extreme threats. So the market is trading sideways in anticipation of, once again, nothing happening. Including the blockade not actually going forward.
https://preview.redd.it/qemx3u5owyug1.jpeg?width=224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bf195e0745ab6ba5750aa3278a81e928793e8518
So if it DOES go forward, choking off the little drip of oil currently making it through the Strait (Iranian vessels and toll payers) you might see a little dip.
...and yet I can't trade because I'm waiting 17 business months for a my deposit to go through.
[+9] u/ButtonCandid1173: DJT "Warning: If any of these ships come anywhere close to our BLOCKADE, they will be immediately ELIMINATED"
[+9] u/No_Inspection649: blockade in place and crude prices dropping. WTF?
[+9] u/Suavecore_: Spy went from 631 to 680 in a straight line
[+9] u/Saturn_winter: 🥭: hmmm, blockade news not bringing it down enough. Okay, 50% tariffs on china.
Market: fuck this retard, let's fucking send ittttttt
[+9] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: Morgan Stanley says correction is over
Strap the fuck in bolz. Morgan Stanley is about to roast the market.
[+8] u/laurencenor: Another Sunday doomsday, Monday green day. The predictability is getting laughable at this point
[+8] u/HonestScar7176: Legit clown market. Like wtf are we even doing
[+8] u/victoryboiiTCG: No way we are using the New York Post as a credible news source
[+8] u/Frosty-Pea-4577: They can’t keep getting away with this
[+8] u/thefrozen_one: I lost $2.5k on that shrek candle
[+8] u/PaltryCharacter: Get your calls in fellers cuz this bullshit's goin up for no reason
[+8] u/Bizonistic: TOTAL BLOCKADE STARTING IN 2 MINS...
UNLESS TACO IS ONLINE TODAY
[+8] u/Liquidtears: what the fuck is going on?
[+8] u/Elforas_Tero: Bers got cockblocked and dickslapped
[+8] u/Send_Lawyers: On a day where oil went up $6 spy green. Make it make sense.
[+8] u/RevealFit9288: Bears on suicide watch. This is wild
[+8] u/FatFluffyFish: I was a perma ber once cause of the war, but I learned. Stonks only go up
[+8] u/TouchTipz: lol things are worse than they were before the fake ceasefire and we’re flat
[+8] u/2020isgreat: Have markets just decided the strait just doesn't matter or what
[+8] u/Jagged_Tide: I assure you, our blockade will be quite operational by 10 AM
[+8] u/Dry_Philosophy6148: Did we pump on tweet rumors? Or is he actually supposed to say something?
[+8] u/bronfmanhigh: terrible home numbers, blockade begins, green dildos
[+8] u/Ssjalexgd4: Bears were really talking about -4% day and circuit breaker over the weekend LOL
[+8] u/rkillaaa: this chat is so entertaining, thank you all
[+8] u/Largeshmarge: F.A.A.F - futures are always fake
[+8] u/NYGiants181: Where’s that dude with 40k worth of day spy puts?
[+8] u/Bcider: So we have a blockade of a blockade. When will we get a ceasefire to the ceasefire?
[+8] u/Hardbun: That New York Post scam article made 0 sense, how do you "study" abandoning something?
[+8] u/2020isgreat: strait doesn't matter wrap it up
[+8] u/Jimbeauxer: Seems I didn’t shit myself 27 times a day on vacation like I packed underwear for
[+8] u/DarthTraderrr: i honestly dont understand this market. why pump on negative news bruh like wtf
[+8] u/Scalpaholic: Never thought I'd see Institutions be Exit Liquidity for Retail.
Cash out for that Gas Money! 🤑🤑🤑
[+8] u/AirportMaterial5917: Interesting that it’s taking weeks to eliminate “what little is left”
[+8] u/Hardbun: I'm going to make a scam tabloid like New York Post and then post bearish articles, because the market believes in tabloids now
[+8] u/btoned: Maybe if 🥭 actually dropped a nuke we'd be at 800.
[+8] u/DesolateEmptiness: I chose the wrong year to be a bear
[+8] u/Nictel: Time to ruin the market by buying 0DTE calls
[+8] u/YouDontKnowDino: As long as the market is green or not very red, he’s not gonna 🌮 by the way. The market is the only thing he cares about
[+8] u/Original-Snow9764: Markets are fake and gay
[+8] u/DarthTraderrr: too many bulls in this chat. this shit gonna dump very soon
[+8] u/palindromic: one option on sandick is $10,000
[+8] u/PottedGantt: I’m closing my puts guys get ready for the dump
[+8] u/kim82352: > Judge dismisses Trump’s lawsuit against WSJ over Epstein birthday letter
[+8] u/-user222: https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/s/GQPsAI95pv imagine if we all read this DD
[+8] u/4sKompany: If you think drugs have stopped coming into 🇺🇸…well, I’ve got some drugs to sell you
[+8] u/Scalpaholic: Equivalent of the Market thinking Iran waived at it but Iran was just waiving at bestie Lebanon behind it.
Not only did Market furiously waive back, it's about to hand over its Nana's engagement ring. Not even proposing, just gifting it over.
That's how cringe this morning rally was pathetic it's going to end. Flat at best EOD but prob Red.
Blockade in effect too. 😆
[+8] u/DefiantDelta: if this doesn’t scream “the gubment is throwing stimulus at it and buying” i don’t know what does
[+7] u/uncsucks: Fuck this clown ass market
[+7] u/Ssjalexgd4: Every weekend, bears come out to celebrate just to get slap in the face LOL
[+7] u/OkResponsibility2470: Lmao so mango going to come out and say he’s going to pause the blockade for two weeks
[+7] u/FatFluffyFish: It's 10 and he hasn't posted shit HMMMM
[+7] u/Popular_Song3371: how is oil drilling tho (neither bull nor bear)
[+7] u/CardiologistEqual336: If this ain’t manipulation, I ain’t gay
[+7] u/Happy-n-Healthy: Poor, poor bers wanted boots on the ground and instead got boots in their ass
[+7] u/Boromir-Wants-: Bears giving updates on every fire cracker going off in Middle East…
[+7] u/LankyLibrary7662: It will be funny if spy closes +2%
[+7] u/Initial_Ad_9250: Member to take profits, fellow tards
[+7] u/Different_Edge7635: Bers edging themselves all weekend just to have it ruined. They gotta be into that.
[+7] u/not_a_cumguzzler: saw the green dildo. came here to see wtf happened
[+7] u/Initial_Ad_9250: This pump smells bad
[+7] u/minin71: Can yall please dump this so I can buy some cheap calls and the bears can rejoice
[+7] u/MaxVerstudpen: Volume is weak AF what gives
[+7] u/Leaguefizzics: That was a little wild tf
[+7] u/victoryboiiTCG: Bears are hilarious, they were expecting a circuit breaker day 😂
[+7] u/Available_Road_2538: stonks only go up
its a simple fucking concept guys
[+7] u/Neader: Market truly irrational
[+7] u/Protat0: Blockade has been priced in since January ✅
[+7] u/Foreign_Addition2844: For future reference. A naval blockade is not so bad for stocks.
[+7] u/LaserBeamer17: Bears holy fuck lol how do you have any money left
[+7] u/Ok-Art6659: I was convinced it was going to dump. So I bought calls
[+7] u/1-800-FunkMaster: what on earth caused this
[+7] u/ChampionshipOdd947: Makes 0 sense to be going long at this point. People buying in now are as arrogant as you know who
[+7] u/UsernameTaken_123: A nuke could fall directly on the NASDAQ exchange and SPY would still be green LMAO 🤌
[+7] u/Elforas_Tero: It pumps out of spite to break ber port
[+7] u/ChampionshipOdd947: Be greedy when others are greedy
[+7] u/winston511: 🥭 for the last 3wks - they have no navy all their ships are at the bottom of the ocean, we completely obliterated their navy
🥭 today- directly threatens their navy
[+7] u/PenaltyDistinct2632: Fraudulent market going brrrrr for fucks sake this is retarded af
[+7] u/100xOrBust: Buying calls here seems regarded, so I bought calls
[+7] u/ideletedmyaccount04: TSLA is up $5. I do not understand anything.
[+7] u/applerascal: knew it green by open
[+7] u/not_a_cumguzzler: wsb, you da real bloomberg terminal
[+6] u/OkAlternative7705: It’s all manipulation you fuckers
[+6] u/MeanReplacement9258: NEW YORK POST: IRANIAN OFFICIALS ARE STUDYING ABANDONING URANIUM ENRICHMENT AS A U.S. CONDITION FOR ENDING THE WAR
[+6] u/Thecreamcheeze: Green in case ber missed it
[+6] u/99Fan: Bull run starts today
[+6] u/Scalpaholic: Defenseless Iranian diplomats thinking of concepts of maybe possibly not enriching uranium for now.
IRGC with guns still hard for nukes.
Golly gee wonder who's going to be more persuasive?
[+6] u/Feisty-Basis7903: Everything on my watchlist is hulk green holy
[+6] u/Klaus_Winchester: Bruh I panic bought calls 2 minutes ago
[+6] u/Comfortable-Sky7801: My corner store has more volume than the market now
[+6] u/PaltryCharacter: well guys we decided that since this war is so tough we're gonna do a bank bailout so the folks in charge of those companies can get vacations and relax. Just so stressful
[+6] u/wildcat1055: JD's failure was priced in
[+6] u/kev0795: Nbis ATH again. Iren sucks
[+6] u/LarsTarkas: Lol market pumping knowing 🥭 will 🌮
[+6] u/lilordeo: this has to be a fucking joke
[+6] u/AbjectProcedure3589: This bout to be a pump and dump I feel
[+6] u/Feisty-Basis7903: Wtf is going on lol this is madness
[+6] u/SubduedWeed: Dumass bers, if the market made sense we'd all be millionaires!
[+6] u/NazgulSandwich: Same amount of volume as the World of Warcraft auction house during work hours
[+6] u/Substantial-Art5008: Fullported puts for the weekend and I’m being punished for being right
[+6] u/Rock_Flaccid: I see headline that blockade started. I check USO and see it's back to climbing, I check SPY see its also climbing, very healthy market indeed
[+6] u/Old_Lab_2170: Lmfao what a sick disgusting joke
[+6] u/Time_Molasses_1581: New York Post has no say in Iran backing out of nuclear building, what an F’n joke. Fulll port 675 1dte puts and thank me later
[+6] u/Reasonable_Sport_181: Market is rigged guys🔪
[+6] u/slambooy: And we are back to green. Thought we were going to be deep red today?
[+6] u/CMTTrader: I actually feel sorry for bears at this point
[+6] u/Dry_Bar_4965: BARRON CALLED THE BOTTOM
[+6] u/Ok_Abbreviations8440: I don’t even want profit I just want my money back
[+6] u/joebeau99: Absolutely regarded market. Its actually hilarious
[+6] u/kadams2121: About to turn green, stupid bears
[+6] u/SuspiciousStable9649: No news is taco news.
[+6] u/SuspiciousStable9649: Hmmm.
UKMTO warns of maritime access restrictions affecting Iranian ports (13 min ago)
The United Kingdom Maritime Trade Operations (UKMTO) has warned of new maritime access restrictions affecting Iranian ports and coastal waters.
In an advisory, it said “maritime access restrictions are being enforced affecting Iranian ports and coastal areas”, applying “without distinction to vessels of any flag” engaging with ports, oil terminals and coastal facilities.
[+6] u/TrickyDickCheney: Every reply is moronic in this sub.
[+5] u/flaming_pope: Looks like I’ll be eating beef bear stew tonight.
Bad jokes aside. Basically nothing burger happened. Ships have stopped traversing in the whole due to premiums. Blockade or not.
The only thing moving the market is physical conflict. I suspect once bombs stop falling there will be a “war is profitable” narrative pushed.
[+5] u/ExplosiveDlarrhea69: The strait was already blocked, why would the US doing it change anything?
[+5] u/ChristianM97: daily reminder that you could have full ported SNDK 3 months ago, sell now and retire of this clown market
[+5] u/Any_Bluebird1765: Not even a nuclear war could make stonks go down
[+5] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: Aside from 🥭, Barak Ravid is crazy with market manipulation. Dude always has some bullish headline lined up for market open.
[+5] u/somebodys0mewhere: Sounds like peak euphoria no ? :)
[+5] u/Fresh_Internal_6085: At this rate, if the nukes started flying this shit would be at ATH before ber finished signing in at Wendy’s.
The fuck outta here with this lunacy.
[+5] u/dataCollector42069: i went cash today. Took profits and sitting this out
[+5] u/SocialJuiceWarrior: Reddit was right when it said reddit will be wrong
[+5] u/Czyzzle: Shout out to whichever one of you bought my USO calls at the top.
[+5] u/SZJX: Now that all the good news is out. Sell the news?
[+5] u/Confident-Window4928: Market not gonna omega dump until everybody has given up hope of it making sense
[+5] u/Historical_Mail7496: The no volume pumps are so scary
[+5] u/Zoji25: My dream career is watching number go up
[+5] u/ripcord51: is the blockade JD standing on a boat with his arms stretched out?
[+5] u/SlimPerceptions: Y’all telling me candles like this aren’t blatant manipulation? Am I the only one that remembers a few years ago when this shit was NOT regular? So serious
[+5] u/Afraid_Contest_6769: You fools better buy Palantir after that tweet. It doesn’t get any simpler than that
[+5] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: JPM says now is a good time to buy according to investing.com 🤔
[+5] u/Dawnoftheman: I was almost certain we would take a fat dump and I’m a bull .
[+5] u/Bitter_Ad_2500: Today really those fuck bulls and bears days huh? That son of bitch 🥭
[+5] u/Initial_Attitude_980: The last time I've seen bers this upset was... Wait that was just last week
[+5] u/victoryboiiTCG: US blockade on bear profits
[+31] u/Soy_tu_papi_: I'm 110k away from my goal of a 100k acount
[+28] u/WillingCommittee: Who needs Ozempic when you can gamble all your money away and feel sick to your stomach and not eat for days?
[+21] u/TreGet234: Peace talks breaking down and naval blockades escalating? Pamp iiiit
[+19] u/Comfortable_Rock4513: This is the most regarded market I’ve ever seen
[+19] u/pineapplekiwipen: i think it's time to seriously consider the possibility this war is bullish
[+18] u/rightovahere: "wElcoMe to beAr wEek"
Lmfaooooooooooooo
[+17] u/Living-Giraffe4849: I will never fully understand how the market can have an equal value now as it did before the war lol
[+16] u/Mission-Swim-8746: If I sell these puts 100% red candles will follow if I hold them green dildos will rocket in my face
[+16] u/Bichael-Murry: breaking: vatican 2-weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon
[+16] u/literallymoist: How the fuck is SPY maintaining right now? Is TACO so deeply priced in now that antics like "fuck you imma block the strait even harder" doesn't even move the needle anymore?
[+15] u/DarkR124: They could drop a nuke, remove 20% of the world’s oil permanently, destroy a massive shipping lane for global exports, and the market would drop 0.25%.
You got a better chance flipping a coin than using logic and research to invest right now. Wild.
[+15] u/TaoTeCha: It doesn't matter if the Strait fully opens today, oil prices should be fucked for the foreseeable future. Right? The market is supposed to be forward looking, how is oil still dropping?
[+15] u/RFKsBrainwormm: I’m fighting through a blockade on the shitter right now
[+14] u/SeaweedLeft9746: I've never seen the market more delusional, they really think this whole hormuz thing is going to blow over without repercussions. Absolute retardation
[+14] u/i2ye: How the fuck are we green today
[+14] u/bertacle: if everything is priced in, why are we even trading
[+14] u/Fire-Lion6: December 2029: the last human has gone extinct 2 months ago. In fact, nuclear winter has wiped every living thing off the planet. All that's left is the computers and algorithms. Forever blinking traffic lights and managing waterways and sending out radio signals for no one to hear or appreciate.
One billboard in NYC is still running, prominently displaying the day's stock market. "New record high: S&P hits 10,000!", the autogenerated headline reads. "+0.2%" has been burned into the top corner of the screen, the number hasn't wavered in over two years. The market is now closed. The trading algorithms will get back to work tomorrow at 9:30am sharp.
[+14] u/briballdo: market realized it can just simply ignore everything
[+13] u/whitepug: Just send it to 700 in these next few candles WHO FUCKING CARES ANYMORE 😭
[+13] u/KevinWarshNudes: Bears first assumption is that markets are rational 🫵🤡
[+13] u/isolated-cat: IRAN DECLARES MAXIMUM COMBAT ALERT AMID ESCALATING TENSIONS
Iran says its armed forces are on “maximum combat alert” and ready for “any scenario,” warning of a “harsh and decisive response” to any aggression, according to state media.
Brig. Gen. Majid Ibn Reza said the military is fully mobilized, while officials claim missile and drone stockpiles are sufficient for sustained operations.
The escalation follows U.S. threats of a naval blockade and intensified tensions after failed talks between the two sides.
market priced in de-escalation today
[+12] u/rand_walking_charts: Oil can be at 150. Market really doesn’t give a F
[+12] u/twenty_three_three: Remember when oil was priced at $115 and the situation got even worse so now it's at $100?
[+12] u/wanderingtofu: This morning pump seems really forced and full of copium.
[+12] u/Dewton: I’m capitulating and buying calls. Profit taking? Liquidity? Geopolitics? Who gives a shit line goes up. I’m growing horns and losing my nuts. Full bull animorph baby
[+12] u/ZeroSumTruths: Why do bers try anymore? Even when you predicted the deal falling through you'd still lose. Give it up unc
[+12] u/throwingitanyway: your puts can't compete against $9 billion of government printing every day
[+12] u/poot-lover: Believe it or not, we’re ALL fucked
[+11] u/Roxorek: SPY 2% AWAY FROM ATH
CAN THEY DO IT THIS WEEK
[+11] u/tjinga2u: Nuclear annihilation confirmed, FED hikes rates, SPY+6742069% 📈
[+11] u/zangor: “Close the strait because then we can create good news when we want to” isn’t even a joke. It’s gonna play out right in front of everyone. Without shame.
[+11] u/Senior_Professional4: Bulls don’t even know what’s going on their just rich
[+11] u/bingbongbear1: Heat death priced in
[+11] u/Andromeda-3: Selling courses is guys version of Onlyfans
[+11] u/lessoninprogress: I’m sick and tired of this bullshit
[+11] u/Euphoric_Present8838: Someone needs to flush this stinky turd
[+10] u/BaconGelato: most hated rally period of all time
[+10] u/edave22: Bears act surprised like there isn’t a bull statue in front of the NYSE
[+10] u/TrumpChildOnahole: Mango will nuke Iran and we'll be up 5%
[+10] u/PracticalMeeting5267: BREAKING: OMAN ALSO CLOSES STRAIT OF HORMUZ, PUTTING TOTAL BLOCKADES AT 3
[+10] u/SpitefulSeagull: Dumbest market ever with the dumbest leader ever. Can't believe the tech bros chose this and thought it would work in the long run
[+10] u/Candid_Payment_4094: \> US blocks Hormuz. Talks fail
\> My stock portfolio is up by 3%
\> 3 months from now: Google announces new model, discovers new battery technology and solves world hunger
\> Market: Bearish signal. GOOGL down
This market is hilarious
[+10] u/Mindless_Rip_7050: I refuse to believe that this rally is going to hold. I can live with myself if I'm wrong, but I'll have a hard time living with myself if I'm right and don't take action now when the price is high.
Holding 60x Apr 15 $675p, 60x Apr 17 $670p, and 15x Jul 17 $670p.
[+10] u/Successful_Doubt8632: I'm also blocking the Strait of Hormuz, not that anyone asked
[+10] u/Andthesuch: Maybe they should have held the talks in Islamagood instead
[+10] u/ajibtunes: I’ve finally come to realize that, as a man, no one cares about you. Not your wife. Not your family. Not your friends. Not your workmates. Nobody. People act like they care, but deep down, they don't. You are on your own. Always on your own
[+9] u/Mother_Big9112: 100% legal, and exactly what you voted for.
[+9] u/Long_Musician_7086: This market isn’t real dude 🤣🤣🤣
[+9] u/AirwickS: Y’all ever wonder how many billions in tax dollars are being wasted on this whole thing?
You’re telling me we’ve military ships staffed with thousands of soldiers serving as tollbooth operators on the other side of the globe.
[+9] u/VeryMercurial: Coffee not even making me feel my morning dump yet cause this market makes me want to throw up instead
[+9] u/Miserable-Change-703: CRASH THE FUCKIN MARKET YOU CRAZY BASTARDS
[+9] u/Visible-Atmosphere72: why are we so green today
[+9] u/bbbyismymommy: Oil Up, Stocks Up whats Up?
[+9] u/rustleboy: My puts are down big today but this shit is actually hysterical
[+9] u/grubernack276: Bol or ber we are never gonna financially recover from theta gang
[+9] u/afishinacar: SPYs ability to move 1% and then stall out completely flat is pretty insane.
Theta has been king for a while now outside of that two week dip and recovery.
[+9] u/SearchUsual5193: When you write the article before market open but publish it anyway
https://preview.redd.it/9jm6qgq18zug1.png?width=356&format=png&auto=webp&s=b49246a7efb80b494af5a27efcb69a8fdbb8e3ee
[+9] u/ebfeebfe: IRAN DECLARES MAXIMUM COMBAT ALERT AMID ESCALATING TENSIONS
\> SPY going green on bullish war news
[+9] u/Edjedonnie24: 10 green days in a row. Lmao. This is absurd
[+9] u/hydefox: Why is spy up? Crude oil is up.
[+9] u/nullzeroerror: We could have nuclear holocaust and bulls would still spam bers r fuk
[+9] u/ShillinTheVillain: I care about you.
Edit: no I don't
[+9] u/chibi78: No volume sucks more than losing money.
[+8] u/grimandnordic1: https://preview.redd.it/e6cb0npmzyug1.jpeg?width=1953&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b561e193b5e2c1862ff62f5e01e44eb73a8a56f6
[+8] u/PristineDiscount3208: the believe it or not, calls people were, as usual, correct.
[+8] u/OverallBlock9028: There are only two options:
1) Nukes
2) Troops on the ground
Other talk is just fugazi
[+8] u/Whatevs56: If 🥭’s ai image of himself resurrecting Epstein doesn’t make you buy puts I don’t know what will.
[+8] u/No_Fee8324: Welp. My puts are worthless now so I might as well ride it to 0
[+8] u/Ok-Thought-9960: How tf is a blockade bullish
[+8] u/88Babies: If this doesn’t tank around 20 minutes from now there’s no way this market is real.
[+8] u/Mindless_Rip_7050: USO is back to Mr 30 levels (when SPY was at $630). The peace talks that caused last week's relief rally were an abject failure. The conflict is very clearly escalating, with Iranian attack boats approach US Navy ships and Trump threatening action against them.
SPY is in it's 10th consecutive day of gain (since Friday's -0.1% day doesn't count against the 9% rally).
Gay bear, regard, etc etc... but what in the actual fuck is going on, for real?
[+8] u/lordofhunger1: Someone get Pokimane in here so we can do some real price discovery
[+8] u/isolated-cat: JPM, Morgan Stanley and BOFA coming out at the same time to announce "buy the dip" and "market positioned for deescalation trade" is SO sus
[+8] u/TestingLifeThrow1z: A blockage was bullish, where are they to laugh at me now?
[+8] u/Nomynametoday: always go inverse of what you thiking, so inverse your inverse thinking
[+8] u/Mission-Swim-8746: Does anyone really know what’s goin on?
[+8] u/mywilliswell95: In August I had 132k and I could’ve put it all on SNDK. Instead I gambled every penny on 0DTEs. Utter failure idk how I haven’t offed myself
[+8] u/DryBicycle5629: Tired of fighting these dark forces propping the market up
[+8] u/therealnorthwild: Did I miss a breakfast TACO?
[+8] u/Euphoric_Present8838: Full ported $675ps exp today and tomorrow
[+7] u/whitewashedsyrian: It isn’t. That’s what makes it bullish
[+7] u/KernalHispanic: The market makes no sense bro
[+7] u/whitepug: We had it so good under sleepy 😭
[+7] u/bearhunter429: #Last night this place was a ber fest when futures were drilling LMAO🤌
[+7] u/FullCopy: Bers driven into extinction.
[+7] u/nsfwnsfwnsfw33333: Any IT guys know how to restart the market? It's stuck going in one direction. When I got it it was going in 2. Is there a warranty on this thing?
[+7] u/CheekyPooh: Every analyst on Bloomberg for past month: if strait opens up, good. If strait remains closed, bad.
Groundbreaking stuff.
[+7] u/Extension_Dog_8511: Look guys, all of your Bear thesises are valid.
But you gotta remember, this is the Monday after payday, when most 401k contributions drop. And like 50% of those are just auto-buys for SPY/VOO/QQQ regardless of price or market performance.
[+7] u/anerdknownaswill: Someone explain why spy is green
[+7] u/Legitimate_Cable_811: He's gonna rename it to Strait of America isn't he?
[+7] u/rand_walking_charts: Market seem to be very happy with 🥭humiliation and Iran victory. Strange 😂
[+7] u/MrIntuition: gonna be like last week when SPY refused to go down
this time im here for it
[+7] u/Provolone-Jones: Changing my W2 to withhold 100% of my paycheck because I cannot be trusted
[+7] u/alphawafflejack: Nobody has ever lost money in the stock market. Remember that
[+7] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Only thing red in the market today are bers asses
[+7] u/Usedillusion7: "believe it or not calls"
I cant wait to post this comment so the chat realizes how edgy and original I am.
[+7] u/CaaCCeo: lol how tf are we not red
[+7] u/CharacterPublic6538: I have only 1 question: HOW?
[+7] u/SearchUsual5193: So if I get this correctly, U.S. is stopping Iran exports which basically means stopping oil to china.
So it's US vs China and we are just -4% from ATH?
[+7] u/One_Talk_3410: I literally just buy every dip and ignore all reason. I have literally never lost money.
[+7] u/TequilaTrader: I thought today would be red.
[+7] u/WayDry848: Your Excellency Pope Leo XIV , on behalf of the great nation of Iran, I condemn the insult to Your Excellency and declare that the desecration of Jesus (peace be upon him), the Prophet of peace and brotherhood, is unacceptable to any free person. I wish glory for you from Allah. - president of Iran
Wtf is this timeline
[+6] u/baadllama_ghost: at this point, a nuke would probably barely eek out a -.50% on the day
[+6] u/whitepug: 700 by eow doesnt even seem like a meme anymore LMAO
[+6] u/dqdg: Good news: If you make over $10 million, there has been a 39% reduction in audits by the IRS.
[+6] u/auroraavm: I've decided my day's pay should be my hourly so I'll only do 1 hour of actual work per day at my shtty job
[+6] u/Cutalana: stupid ber case: Actually, the strait being closed is exactly what markets worried about, so it must go red as these fears become realized
sigma bull case: the market is retarded, so trading as a retard will be rewarded
[+6] u/tjinga2u: Getting to claim that 3k loss on my taxes is the silver lining to my gambling addiction 👌 I think im set for life at this point since it doesnt expire 😎
[+6] u/Jebusfreek666: Vix signaling reverse. Look for a fall here.
[+6] u/Eur0stept: Poor bears thinking they can swing trade the market for profit
[+6] u/noahmfs: What in the actual fuck is the market celebrating? I bought calls at open because it was the stupidest idea and look at this
[+6] u/skychief99: Bobo Yahoo warns the fragile cease-fire with Iran “could turn on a dime.”
Boy...does this clown love bombing shit.
[+6] u/Euphoric_Present8838: Low vol sell off coming soon. Clifford broke his chain.
[+6] u/WillSmithNipples: Smh I’m so dumb trading 0DTEs. How much money do I have to lose to learn not to mess with them. Anyways, time to get high and numb myself. See y’all tomorrow
[+6] u/Traditional-Emu-6620: Stonks only go up bers
[+6] u/foobar18648: Got downvoted a few days ago for saying the short term bull case is strong. Reality will catch up soon enough but for now liquidity is entering the system and rotation is underway from international to us markets. Expect plenty of green days for the next several weeks
[+6] u/Bravadette: > The talks are going well
> Spice starts moving in 2 weeks...
> The talks failed but thats what we actually wanted .
> Actually we dont want the spice to move unless we say so.
- IRL Dune without a Padishah Emperor
[+5] u/Turbulent-Bet-7133: I full ported last week and am up 200+ a share lolol
[+5] u/elvanse70: he’s only got 25 minutes to TACO
[+5] u/hayleybts: Puts are calling my name but I'm not fall for the 9th time
[+5] u/Actual_Difference617: Consumers don’t even matter anymore. Companies are paying each other and thats good enough for market.
[+5] u/ur_all_shills: How tf is this shit green
[+5] u/FunInteraction9796: can someone make a algo etf
[+5] u/meforprezz: i dont know if 680 can be broken
[+5] u/schleeper1: drop it like its hot
[+5] u/OkRecommendation1040: How do I turn 19k to 100k
[+5] u/Key_Abroad7633: Markets only go up lmao
[+23] u/buyatollah_kuminamy: Breaking: Tanker full of eyeliner passes strait, Vance to resume talks
[+22] u/Oxidrox: Pumps on fake news (34 ships) and no correction when the fake news is revealed as being fake 😂😂
[+20] u/Grey-59throwaway: When the market is so boring you start actually doing work at your job 💔
[+18] u/Revolver_Lanky_Kong: - kills 160 school girls
- insults the actual pope
GUYS IM LITERALLY CHRIST LOOK AT THIS AI SLOP I POSTED
[+18] u/dnaole: LMAO 34 TANKERS WENT THROUGH AND IM LYING ABOUT THIS BTW SINCE LITERALLY ANYONE CAN LOOK AND CHECK RADAR SCANS AND LIVE FLOWS
People in market anyways making oil drop nearly $2 after
https://preview.redd.it/3do8cip9lzug1.jpeg?width=1134&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=47aa7154d72a8438ce32090fc02a612fdc3c3dac
[+17] u/Unlikely-Run-400: The fact we are green on horrible news should
Show you how fucked our world is.
[+17] u/MadDabbed: LIKE HOW IS THE MARKET GREEN THIS MAKES NO SENSE
[+16] u/cosmicoconuts: NO FREAKING WAY BUT MY PUTS THO
[+16] u/bringkiteback: Wow I bought puts instantly got prolapsed
[+15] u/Extension-Horse-5331: I understand spy only goes up, but this is dumbest pump yet.
[+15] u/sanmar2225: #this market is actual retardation
[+14] u/SinStockGuy: Flatter than Zendaya's ass
[+14] u/Jealous_Archer_4522: Imagine how high it would go if we actually had nuclear WW III
[+13] u/No_Cod972: I'm quite sure something's gonna happen.
Unless nothing happens, of course.
[+13] u/---Right--Tackle---: #🫵🏻remember when futes were down 1.5% overnight🫵🏻
[+13] u/John___Miller___: Everyone bullish. Makes me wanna buy puts
[+13] u/StudyThicket: LOL Doordash lady not having it 💀💀
[+13] u/Gajax: Why is the Doordash lady the smartest person in the room????? WHY?
[+13] u/RetinalSmear: the entire world just runs off of bullshit and memes
[+12] u/stringtheory28: Seems like only last night the bears were paying for lambos with credit cards.
[+12] u/Philthatman: Horrible volume, couldnt find any good oppurtunities. Stupid crab ass of a market
[+12] u/urfatfatfat: Revelations is priced in
[+11] u/I_am_Nerman: China signals it will continue Hormuz transit, warns against interference
This is concerning
https://x.com/MOSSADil/status/2043718785803112710
[+11] u/SelfDetermined: Does anyone know why the market is not down significantly? What the fuck are these people buying stocks for? Hormuz is double closed!
[+11] u/Independent-Visit139: so we’re just gonna stay like this until the orange man tweets huh
[+11] u/Spiritual_Taste_1253: If you just blindly slam calls every time the market goes red, you make money.
This is crazy
[+11] u/Gajax: The Pope is weak on crime?? WTF?
[+11] u/boondo: Trump restarts the war? That's priced in.
The US starts blocking the straight? Also priced in.
Nukes start dropping? Believe it or not, it is priced in.
[+11] u/Democrazy_: I'm not even a ber but I'm still absolutely baffled by oil staying as low as it is and stocks still going up.
We are seeing clear escalation from both sides with a peace deal further away than ever. Strait of Hormuz has never been more closed, and all oil bought before the war has now been delivered.
Clearly a supermassive TACO 🌮 is being priced in.
[+11] u/Horatio2200: Apparently the Chinese have reminded Israel and Trump that China has a trade agreement with Iran and have advised them not to interfere with their ships.
[+11] u/MooseyGoosey69: Even bulls don't know why spys green
[+10] u/dUjOUR88: Kinda starting to seem like the market is becoming immune to Presidential statements ..... and actions ....
[+10] u/One-Process-6547: There's a concept of a drop.
[+10] u/iAmGrimTV: Breaking news: Iran has deployed sharks with frikkin lazer beams to remove the blockade
[+10] u/DahyunDabFan: Bers figured out how to turn gold into lead
[+10] u/trojsurprise: There's an old saying in Tennessee, I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee, that says "Fool me once, shame on...shame on you. Fool me...you can't get fooled again.”
[+10] u/ILikeWhatISee69420: **Stocks go up, you stupid fuck**
[+10] u/pmotiveforce: It's a big club, and none of us dumb fucks is in it. They are frauding before our very eyes - someone is getting very rich and not ain't you even if you have your piddly muh calls.
Insiders are making hundreds of billions off this shit.
[+10] u/YachtOrNothing: I dont get the action. Almost every news headline is bad.
[+10] u/Jealous_Archer_4522: "Negotiations are going very very well. After thousands of years we are now going to have peace in the Middle East. They love us now. This is so so so good. We are so winning."
[+10] u/Logical_Revenue_6465: This is historic regardiun lmao hahaha. Calls on doordash and Mcdonalds lmao.
[+10] u/RedditHatesDiversity: We are living in an absolute fever dream
[+10] u/pen15_club_admin: Ima be real fam. I have no idea what I’m doing
[+10] u/rashfordsaltyballs: straits open → fk bears
straits closed → fk bears
straits maybe open → fk bears
straits maybe close → fk bears
lol
[+10] u/jostradumass: Somethings brewing. Volume is gone. Sell pressure building.
[+9] u/Small-Maintenance-65: If a trade federation blockade doesn’t move the market then maybe cloaked religious radicals with lightsabers will.
[+9] u/JiffKewneye-n: you know when ashlee simpson got busted for lip synching, and then did a little jig? that feels like the US strategy.
even if Trump Tacos out from the blockade....then what?
[+9] u/boostlee33: That pump was due to me buying puts fuck
[+9] u/givinstar1: Put prices are rising with no movement
[+9] u/enc-nyc: I didn't even know these 34 ships closely, Melania barely knew them
[+9] u/dybalapogba21: Well the wars over for the 8th time it seems
[+9] u/Dramatic-Step-8187: 🥭 should be waking up from his nap to have his happy meal lunch soon
[+9] u/sweenygg: Oil is up everything getting expensive. Stocks too lol
[+9] u/Yasqweenn: Loosing my USO call gains with SPY puts 🤭🤭
[+9] u/Independent_Ad1086: MMs just hate bears at this point, it's personal
[+9] u/jonnyraza27: Literally no reason for us to be green right now
[+9] u/Zimoula: Random pump before announcing that mango will speak soon = insiders bought
[+9] u/BasicWait8: The past few weeks prove that the stock market just goes up no matter what. Completely detached from real valuations
[+9] u/Hot-Ambassador8740: Are we just gonna keep pumping up on low volume?
[+9] u/Hopeful-Discount6766: I’ll buy calls so the market tanks, no worries guys
[+9] u/EyeraGlass: DoorDash grandma is MEDIA TRAINED lmao
[+9] u/Nagalavonpelt: Let me guess…. Talks going well
Strait still closed
Market pumps 😂😂
This shit has happened 6 weeks in a row!
It’s literally the same regurgitated shite 💩
[+9] u/FuckleUp: SPY flat as the earth
[+9] u/dbd209: AT THIS RATE JUST FUCKING NUKE EVERYTHING. IT DOESNT MATTER THIS STUPID FUCKING MARKET ONLY GOES UP FUCKKKKKK EVERYTHING FUCK THIS STUPID FUCKING TIMELINE!!!!!!!
[+9] u/starcom_magnate: DoorDash Grandma with the polite disengagement on the Men in Women's sports debate
[+9] u/RegardedDegen: I hate this market lol. Make it make sense.
[+9] u/Bill-Imaginary: what the fuck is going on here, my puts aren’t working
[+9] u/darklordyy: LMFAOOO bro set granny up 😭
[+8] u/Subspace13: Iranian officials are studying abandoning uranium enrichment as a US condition for ending the war - New York Post
&
NY Post Reporter clarifies: Proposal centered on Iran giving up its nuclear program -- that we knew from VP JD Vance on Sunday. 2) Still a chance that Iran could accept that point. None of this is new.
lmao
[+8] u/I_am_Nerman: “Iran controls the Strait of Hormuz and it is open for us.”
- China defense minister
[+8] u/bakeonwakeup: MMs preventing the short
[+8] u/DICK_STUCK_IN_COW: Whooptie doo another 40 cent pump this is boring as shit
[+8] u/_bigmeatyklaws: Just pump the market already dad
[+8] u/Personal-Boss-7111: Spy manipulation in broad daylight. No shame anymore.
[+8] u/Kickboy21: Theres a BER out there sitting in silence at work, basically working for free from losing money on puts 😂😂
[+8] u/Sawgambler: Time to eat my fellow bears -0.01% 😂
[+8] u/shugo7: Gay bears who loaded up on puts because of weekend doommaxers are fucked.
https://preview.redd.it/v7uybi76dzug1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=850905f316cfe70770d92c75f4f497d9d3878c27
[+8] u/deathlyharry: stock market hasn't taken its meds for a couple years now
[+8] u/Spiritual_Taste_1253: Every time I don’t fomo into a stock because it’s already risen so much, it continues to rise.
Maybe I’m just thinking too hard
[+8] u/HARCYB-throwaway: Holy crap, he tipped her a floppy pissed soaked hundred on live tv
[+8] u/Okami_The_Sun: Another Axios Tweet has hit the bears HQ and mass casualties are reported
[+8] u/Formal_Cockroach_314: “Markets ripping while 🥭 talks? Let me see what he’s saying”
Bro is literally yapping about the UFC and talking about books lmaoooo
[+8] u/Haikoe: No one willing to sell, no one willing to buy.
Gg
[+8] u/Kickboy21: Just woke up. Why did bers blew up the 3-1 lead again? 🤣🤣
[+7] u/meathook_martyy: I know they tagging the shit out of stop losses rn 🤣
[+7] u/No_Cod972: Trump could learn a thing or two from that woman, like STAYING ON MESSAGE
[+7] u/yeezy_boost350v2: Trump posts Jesus pic of himself 😭
[+7] u/Aromatic-Teacher-717: Apparently China intends to go through the strait anyway, daring the US to make good on their threats. Given how insane America is, it'd be interesting if this sparks a confrontation.
The US soundly and swiftly defeated Iran's conventional forces (with Israeli help), but can't seal the deal because they lacked the foresight to imagine Iran might weaponize Hormutz. They lack strategic vision, even if their tactics are sound.
America might spend more, but if how they have been approaching Iran is any indication, they also spend both recklessly and wastefully.
They spend tens of times more on the interceptors to shoot down the drones. The Pentagon has not passed an audit in decades, and there's no incentive by anyone in the military to try to tamp down on costs when Congress gives them everything they ask for and more.
There's been a purge of actual military leaders in favor of ass sucking sycophants. I'm not sure if China's government is undergoing their own ineffeciences as a result of authoritarianism, but the US shouldn't even *have* this negative.
Anyway, calls
[+7] u/boostlee33: Loading up on puts gg
[+7] u/Damandalorianway: bro no fucking way we are above 680 on spy
[+7] u/Fleeing_Sunlight: Note to self: NYP is a scam publication
Lol
[+7] u/GuwopGOAT: On the real, how is China not the current strongest country in the world? Like 75% of the world’s goods are made there.
China is like 2018 LeBron and the US is 1996 Jordan
[+7] u/TheMightySet69: Why the hell is SPY pumping?
[+7] u/austincorvet: I must say most of the times I beat off it's because of boredom it's not even sexual
[+7] u/Total_Schedule591: I feel like 🥭 would cheat in a thumb war
[+7] u/Desperate-Scallion42: wtf happens at 10 am
[+7] u/IHaveInflatableShoes: Man who knew Sandisk would be the greatest investment of the past year
[+6] u/corndog_messiah: I used to be poor like you regards. I still am but I also used to be
[+6] u/SmoothFlan0: Everyday i make the wrong trade everydayyy
Not even a good trade by mistake
[+6] u/browsk: This market feeling less and less safe to even engage with it’s so manipulated
[+6] u/JellyfishFestival: Looks like we're heading for record high crude prices, record low consumer confidence, declining personal incomes, the slowest job market in at least 15 years, a hot war in the middle east, the software and private credit sectors imploding...and ever growing all time highs all summer long.
Nobody cares about any of the economy anymore. Earnings, prices, sentiment, future projections, news, any of it. The only thing that remains is "is someone else buying? well I am too!"
[+6] u/A10cc: LOL fruit salad man beefing with the pope is just hilarious LMAOOOOOO
[+5] u/Beginning-Fig-9089: diversification sucks if I put my whole portfolio into Sandisk six months ago, I’d already be sittin on a milly but no, I just had to put 10%
[+24] u/PaxDev: They were right, the market stayed irrational and I am no longer solvent
[+21] u/thevolxme: Nah ngl, I’ve seen some shit, but the market being green today is the biggest manipulation move I’ve seen for a long while
[+19] u/Due-Refrigerator2306: we've pumped from SPY 630 > 685 in a straight line up in two weeks. insane
[+19] u/okbetokbetokbet: market went up 10% in a week with absolutely nothing changing 😂 absolute fucking clownshow
[+16] u/Outrageous-Lab2721: Pathetic volume today, we pumping on bad news.
[+15] u/Bob_the_peasant: The market hates uncertainty. Now that we know he’s the antichrist for sure after last night’s Jesus 🌮picture (the ring wraith in the background sells it), the market is willing to rally a bit
[+15] u/syedhuda: i can either admit buls are correct or i can get a second mortgage to buy more puts. i choose violence
[+14] u/SxeySteve: We're back to Jan 1 level on SPY. Back when the strait was open and oil was $57
[+14] u/MordorBlues: I don't think the humans are in control anymore guys
[+12] u/Bustincherry: Can't believe nobody thought that closing off 20% of the oil supply would be bullish. Poor people don't matter anymore so long as the AI overlords can pass the same dollar bill around.
[+12] u/smellyfingernail: guy on frontpage sunday: "MY BEAR THESIS IS COMING TRUE!"
The markets: +0.5%
[+12] u/Secret-Bonus-254: 22$ recovery with no volume since pre market opened yesterday. Crazy.
[+12] u/e30jawn: Oh theres no volume that make more sense
[+12] u/shindiggaa: Who lost on puts today?
[+12] u/drbigtoe: welp I lost 2k on spx puts. bad day
[+11] u/31andnotdone: reminder, longer you stay on the wrong train the more expensive it is to get back home
[+11] u/seeking-health: why is the market pumping after Trump announces to close the strait?
[+11] u/mardigrasmoker: This is actually really fucking annoying.
[+11] u/JellyfishLarge3794: Concept of peace: spy +500%
Nuclear war: spy - 0.1%
[+11] u/kingkongsdingdong420: Give up bearorists you don't have the cards!
[+11] u/kryptonyk: WSB can never accept that the market is forward looking and the bottom always comes when the news is still bad.
[+11] u/CFBCommentor: Bears were celebrating, hilarious
[+11] u/LunchNo7823: End of the line here boys, its been fun and im not ashamed of my plays, prolly would have done em again
Cant fight these people
[+11] u/Normal_Tap3021: 3 generation of bears were eviscerated today. Gone like they never existed
[+11] u/CJBlueNorther: Y'all seriously need to realize something:
A nuke could be dropped directly on Wall Street and the market would still rip higher.
Just buy calls and go live your lives, it's that fucking simple.
[+10] u/GoZukkYourself: Not a good day for the geopolitical experts.
[+10] u/Overall-Double3948: >CNN, article 20 minutes ago: Trump warns Iran as US military blockade on Iranian ports takes effect
Market: *continues to pump*
what is going on??
[+10] u/Lazy_Consequence8838: Trump deletes Jesus meme. Market: pump it.
[+10] u/myironlung6: Average QQQ volume is 60-66 million, past 3 days - 30 million, today, 18 million
Rug pull tomorrow bears
[+10] u/Spinax_52: Bonds are green, equities are green, commodities are green. All the day after we announce we didn’t get a deal done
[+10] u/FinePerformance1046: I don't think there's any advanced strategy here the market is just run by algorithms that would be WSB members if they were people
[+10] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: So if markets are acting like the Strait is already open and keep pricing in good news and that everything will be fine, then what will happen on the day the news hits that the Strait is actually open?
[+10] u/All_FIREdUp: Some dude sitting next to me straight up lying to his boss or wife. Telling them he’s at the junk yard looking for a part.
Bro we are sitting in a waiting room, looking out a big window.
[+10] u/bb483: Bottom was in when r/stocks is saying it’s all over, sell now
[+10] u/bigtime2die: Eeverything is GREEN!??
it's like the stock market does the opposite of any sense.
[+10] u/Nudge55: $7.82 TRILLION sitting in Money Market Funds will now start pouring in.
[+10] u/cDub3284: This market is not real
[+10] u/njcrabcake: We’re getting rugged tomorrow, aren’t we?
[+10] u/PocaMadre69: We’ve rallied 8% straight up since the start of April for no reason off no news
Things are in the exact same place today as they were a month ago, arguably worse
[+10] u/Ecclesiastes510: Zero pullback is insane
[+10] u/CD274: This entire market is driven by screwing over Michael Burry
[+9] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: The economy deserves to be destroyed. I can only take solace in knowing that the boomers who invented this fraud shit will be gone soon.
[+9] u/PunchingAgreenbush: HE TACOD THE TACO THAT WAS ON A TACO 😂
[+9] u/neaturee: The only thing this conflict shows is that the US is not the super power we thought it was.
[+9] u/questionr: Up 5% YTD. I only need another 3495% until I can retire early.
[+9] u/pandadrizzle: Have you ever considered that higher costs actually increase profitability 🤔
[+9] u/Muted_Wasabi_1284: I can’t believe the DoorDash shit is real lmfao wtf get me off this timeline!
[+9] u/unholy-confetti: Casino is green and y'all complaining
[+9] u/Gristle__McThornbody: TRUMP JUST SAID TO BUY DOORDASH
[+9] u/ihopethisworksfornow: At this point I am 100% convinced we’re going to have a recession worse than 2008.
Sure as shit ain’t buying puts though.
[+9] u/Subymoa: I came to save you bears.
I just bought some calls. It should start dropping soon.
[+8] u/The_Juice_Gourd: SPY up, oil up, you can’t explain that.
[+8] u/SniXSniPe: He sold his calls, pump eet
[+8] u/humunculus43: Iranian blockade = bearish
US blockade = bullish
[+8] u/Tocharian: Another bear genocide day. Wow.
[+8] u/GuyFaulks77: I will let inflation rot my cash to nothing before I invest in this fraudulent market!! 😭
[+8] u/kal14144: what a wonderful day to be a retard
[+8] u/AmbitiousBasket0: green dildo incomming
[+8] u/Fancy_Cattle_5914: Fuck MU, should've bought SNDK
[+8] u/Weak_Ostrich459: Quick press conference about his doordash????
[+7] u/Impossible_Love1510: History shows that market only goes up. To bet against that is insane
[+7] u/ManyManufacturer6090: Rug pull back to red soon
[+7] u/TheNicestRedditor: Lmao Israel has the market by the balls
[+7] u/fishiesgetstitchies: K I bought calls so it’ll tank now yw
[+7] u/fewthingsarerelated: Damn my USO calls are getting butt fucked, and not in the beautiful way
[+6] u/TranzitBusRouteB: MSFT holders after one good day after their worst quarter since 2008: *we’re so back fam*
[+6] u/syedhuda: BULS R PISSIN ME OFF
[+5] u/OsamaBagHolding: Reminder that kegsbreath was so stupid he bought defense stocks before this war.
Not oil stocks lmao
[+5] u/diefy7321: bers in utter disbelief lmfaoooooo
[+28] u/qman1963: I actually do feel bad for bears this time. This is like betting that the sun will rise and then waking up to darkness.
[+25] u/cramers_asshole: Whenyou get filled right away you know you’re fucked
[+20] u/WrexyWrex: "Sharon Simmons, the DoorDash grandma who was just part of a 🥭 photo op at the White House, says on Fox News that "no tax on tips" helped her because she couldn't afford her husband's cancer treatments"
are you guys this stupid?
[+19] u/MartianSpaceCat: The market will crash at the exact moment I enter the casino and go all-in. Should I do it?
[+18] u/TheGodDavidLoPan: Who knew that both parties blocking the strait would be bullish.
[+16] u/Shah_Zam: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+15] u/BTDubbzzz: Can anyone explain to me why the blockade is somehow bullish
[+15] u/Short-Mixture1823: Sold my puts at a huge loss. I'll wait this shit out. This thing don't make no sense. I know I'm right about the direction, but the timing keeps fucking me.
[+14] u/peterpeer9: If you just bought $400,000 of ground beef in 2020 and sold it 6 years later, you would have outperformed the market
[+14] u/Upstairs_System_6257: I think I need to withdraw all my money from this market. This is beyond retarded.
[+13] u/bruhhzilla: This geezer posted a pic of himself as Jesus then took it down saying " I thought it was me as a doctor"
Ok there lmaoooooo
[+13] u/outhinking: Market going up upon escalation lmao
[+13] u/Thegreenpatriot: This market can stay retarded longer than you can remain solvent. Wise words
[+12] u/ApathysLastKiss_: Remember when we were down 1.3% last night?
Yeah, that's why futures dont matter
[+12] u/dash_trash4255: I fought the fraud and the, fraud won
[+12] u/bigfan49: Most obvious bull trap ever
[+11] u/Spare-Pace4283: News that caused SPY to plummet a couple weeks ago have now gotten even worse but now it’s causing SPY to pump. I was taught market moves to be rational but I feel like a clown in a circus
[+11] u/yyn1999: PRAISE BE ALLAH MY CALLS WERE SAVED
[+11] u/_rockthemike: Bears in denial since spy 635
[+10] u/firstandlast0202: whats funny is market will prolly crash after it burns all the bears.
[+10] u/Soft_Walrus_3605: Trump declares himself Antichrist. SPY up 0.50%
[+10] u/No_Fig_7835: At this rate, if we go to war with China, is it a +10% day?
[+10] u/sanndman: so much fucking sndk fomo.
[+10] u/LeMa0: if you think about it, a Iranian blockade is negative news. Usa blockade is also negative news. 2 negatives makes a positive and thats why we are up today
[+10] u/Catherine_S1234: Shutting down world trade was priced in
[+10] u/Andromeda_0507: So nothing even happened or what
[+9] u/Nice-Truck8806: hot take but anyone who trades on robinhood really shouldn't have access to options anyway
[+9] u/GuyFieriFrostedTips: WTF is even happening.
[+9] u/workredi: Bers are 0 for 9 but that 1 win is gonna be a nice -0.5% bloodbath
[+9] u/No_Needleworker9613: I like how the market keeps pumping due to reading words from the stupidest man in the world
[+9] u/vCharged: META up $0.20 on rumors that I have short dated OTM calls
[+9] u/msbdtc: Bulls make money.
~~Bears make money.~~
Pigs get slaughtered.
[+9] u/DevilishJoe: Bers were all over this place last night picking the color of their lambos. How are we doing now?
[+8] u/VictoriaIsReal: What the hell is a "Doordash Grandma"?
[+8] u/Gorm_the_Old: 🥭 Says Iran Wants to "Work a Deal"
Welcome to Monday. They already have a ceasefire, so now they're on to promises of a deal to make the weekly Monday pump happen.
[+8] u/Unlucky-Design-6564: My first born will be named sandisk
[+8] u/Tirikemen: Market will only crash once the Last Bear capitulates, and not a moment sooner.
[+7] u/phatpham1803: My porfolio finally reaches 100k today. Celebrate while I can cuz shit gonna go down for the next few days lmao
[+7] u/IndividualSea2881: So blockading the blockade was the secret to pumping the market.
[+7] u/HolographicHeart: Reminds me when we hit ATH back in Feb 2020.
Surely nothing bad happened after right?
[+6] u/Kabrosif: Ah yes markets green today because that totally makes sense!
[+6] u/altmly: Too many idiots calling for red in the comments.
Calls it is
[+36] u/Any-Development5656: I literally lost my entire portfolio today. Not even joking, My entire portfolio fucking gone.
[+18] u/Jackfitton12: 🥭 threatening nuclear war.
Highest car Loan defaults in US Histroy.
Student loans defaulting all time high.
Largest amount of Layoffs in recent history.
Americans dipping into 401k savings just to buy food and gas.
Ground Beef per/Lb more expensive than minimum wage for the first time in history.
The Middle class disappearing.
The Stock market for some reason 📈 📈 ⬆️⬆️
[+14] u/McClintockC: Feelin a little extra retarded today 💅
[+14] u/ryu311: BREAKING: Trump live from the Oval Office sets a new 2-week deadline for Iran to make a deal, warning the situation "won't be pleasant" if Iran does not agree by April 27.
plz sir. i cant keep rolling out my put expirations like you roll out deadlines.
[+13] u/ReflectionLumpy1040: Cool, market just keeps ripping while a literal helium supply shock out of Qatar is brewing for semis and nobody cares, guess fundamentals just don’t matter anymore
[+13] u/LocksmithCrafty134: lost way too much on puts today, shit is sad
[+13] u/Geoff_Dawmer: This shit is fuckin dicknuts.
[+12] u/rajas_: Half the world without gas or oil, which affects all industries at the same time, and the markets keep going up — I don’t understand anything.
[+12] u/jrichar: The M2 money supply has been increasing rapidly. I think most of the newly printed money is going into the stock market. That is why it is rising even though with all the war uncertainty it feels like it should be dropping.
[+12] u/NeedToMakeMoneyz: Guy on NBC just now.
“ can you believe it? We are less than 2% from all-time highs on the S&P 500.”
YEAH WTF I CANT BELEIVE THAT SHIT ACTUALLY LOL
[+11] u/i_simp_f: In honor of Iran I will now be blocking everyone here who is straight
Edit: I have so far blocked zero users
[+11] u/bullhunter469: "1pm post lunch dump incoming"
"2pm dump incoming"
"2:30pm dump incoming"
"3pm dump incoming"
"Low volume fake pump, dump soon"
[+11] u/Psychological_Fly109: If the Houthis actually block the bab el mandeb I think the market rockets all the way up to 800, if the US blockades as well then easy 850 and oil down to 55
[+11] u/AllCapNoBrake: A lot of you aren't selling, and it will show.
https://preview.redd.it/u3up1agc40vg1.jpeg?width=115&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0db356272229160fb151aebb164380a11df22eb5
[+11] u/PROMlSED: Congrats to anyone still holding SNDK jfc
[+11] u/itsprodiggi: Whos pumping during this dog shit macro? Seems fucking bizarre that we are up.
[+11] u/LazyImprovement9160: At this point I'm not surprised how this dumbass market pumps on bad news after the weekend.
[+11] u/Sam_Vicious2: I was scared to buy SNDK at 700… good lord
[+10] u/KaotikRush0198: 28 M volume and its pumping. Fuck this market, I'm not trading until this fucker is out of power
[+10] u/Ghost_nut: See you tomorrow kid
[+10] u/Pristine_Afternoon96: Who bought puts raise your hand
[+10] u/Hi_I_am_gosu: this isnt 2002 anymore, nobody gives a fuck about oil
[+10] u/justarandumthrowaway: ummmmm what gives—I was promised an economic collapse and generation suffering the likes of which well never recover from by close….
[+10] u/ChickenYip: wait til trump announces he's removing the blockade!!
\+5% DAY
[+10] u/IceCreamButt69: Going double down on puts. Fuck this
[+10] u/GoldenAries4: This market is so rage inducing. I can’t safely go long or buy calls because the backdrop is atrocious and the market should be much lower than it is.
It keeps pumping despite everything so I can’t stay in puts for long either.
This shit needs to fucking crash already. It had no problem having bad days before this Iran mess. Now it never wants to go red anymore.
[+9] u/KyleNoThumbs319: Market goes higher if we triple blockade the Hormussy
[+9] u/Federal-Reception854: this low volume shit is so fucking stupid
[+9] u/tdotrollin: BEARS HAAAHAHAHAHHAAHAH
[+8] u/ChipmunkOrganic1237: Because you bought puts.
[+8] u/Poptart_Salad: We...uhh...recovered? I guess the market likes the idea of a blockade? The War trades continues to be abysmal. Except oil I guess.
[+8] u/New_Food2553: i took a credit advance to buy puts... fml
[+8] u/sl3azebag: Miami really is the best city on Earth. Everything and everyone is fake, just how it was meant to be.
[+8] u/Mr60SPX: >S&P 500 jumps, making up earlier losses, as investors bet Trump will get an Iran peace deal.
How to read that: Investors bet on TACO.
Thats it. They are pre-running TACO.
If you think that is smart, buy calls.
If you think that is stupid, buy puts.
[+7] u/BullyMog: My spy puts are dead my spy puts are dead
[+20] u/rwc5078: I bought puts 30 minutes before the stock market closed
I am already down 30% and 25%
What a rally!
You did it Bulls! I am proud of you
[+19] u/Chancey004: It was ridiculous before but now this is fucking absurd lmfao
[+19] u/Huat-Ah-Huat: Neither a bear nor a bull.. but you got to admit how regard the market is considering the current situation we are on.
[+16] u/KundaliniVibes: SPY was under $650 on Tuesday lol
[+15] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #this is exactly what Doctor Jesus would have wanted
[+15] u/Austerlitz19: Okay, fine guys, I capitulate, 20% of the world's supply of oil, natural gas, and other rare materials being blocked actually doesn't matter. What the market is actually predicated on for the next 3 years are truth social posts- I've learned my lesson. (this is probably a top signal)
[+14] u/Chancey004: Just hit -10k all time in the port. An amazing milestone 🎉🥳
[+13] u/dasboot523: Is there any news or are we just full delusional mode
[+13] u/Beginning_Sentence69: Haha, buying puts before that green candle absolutely rinsed me.
[+12] u/KundaliniVibes: The more ridiculous it seems, the more ridiculous it gets
[+12] u/KundaliniVibes: Out of all the recoveries in the last 5 years, this one seems the most retarded
[+12] u/Upset-Motor-2602: Retardium Leviosaaaaah!
[+12] u/Wishforgains: Huge dip planned for tomorrow now that all the puts are wiped out and everyone loaded up on calls
[+12] u/GrassOrAss954: The sooner you realize the market is really just a grift to fuck the maximum amount of people out of their money….the more it’ll all make sense.
[+11] u/GrassOrAss954: Just tragic volume today. Couple of computers in a basement somewhere running algorithms just trading back and forth to pump this clown show.
[+11] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #congrats baarron trump on another insider trading purchase
[+11] u/2muchnet42day: SELL THE FUCKING RIP YOU CRAZY BASTARDS
[+11] u/jlw993: Feels similar to SPY Feb - April 2022 when it ran +13% just before heading back down nearly 25%
[+11] u/tsunamiwaves_: As a bull, this was the nastiest bear trap I’ve seen in a while . Wow
[+11] u/lovo17: All time high while the economy is in shambles lol
[+10] u/WiselyC0nfused: Damn, that’s all I gotta say.
Damn if I buy, damned if I don’t.
[+10] u/teh_herper: NOBODY GIVES A FUCK ABOUT HOW MUCH OIL COSTS, OR PHYSICAL SHOCKS, ETC. THE MARKETS ARE DETACHED FROM REALITY, AND LINE GO UP IS ALL THAT MATTERS
[+10] u/music_crawler: Bears have to be absolutely pissed tf off rn
[+10] u/dljmonkeyboiz: All it takes it one chinese oil tanker to get blown up by a US naval ship and we'll see oil down to 50 and SPY to 800.
[+10] u/EatMoreSleepMore: Bears, stop and ask yourself: are you really losing because the market is "rigged", or are you just a dumbass?
[+10] u/PalpitationSmooth992: how fucking hilarious that NVDA said acquisition rumors were false just 5 min after close
[+10] u/ParlayTheHard8: We are 2% from ATH 😄
[+9] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: Haven’t traded since this dumbass Iran shit started and boy do I feel like a genius. We’re in a post logic world, don’t try to rationalize what cannot be.
[+9] u/PompeiiSketches: The market realized it can just skip the drop and price in the eventual TACO. Bers going extinct.
[+9] u/my_garagegym_name: Billionaires and their piles of corporate cash are going to keep backstopping this market and raising healthcare costs until retail is tapped, unemployed and sick. Then they will crash it and enslave us worse than now. We are in a siphon really making us turkeys not bulls and we maybe have another 3 years until Thanksgiving. My cash is moving to land, health maintenance and finding a place for a self sufficient and isolated homestead insulated somehow from exorbitant property tax increases.
[+9] u/limpybitch: Make this shit make sense.
[+9] u/emanresu711: I fucking hate being a bear
[+8] u/ateranol: Imagine being a bear and thinking stocks can go down.
[+8] u/BirdyPooPoo: Back in December when SPX hit 6900 Oil was $60
[+8] u/No_Relief_8705: That's it I'm done using porn. From now on I will use my imagination.
[+8] u/Ok-Maintenance5422: What on Earth is this manipulation
[+8] u/NativePlant870: This market is cooked. Probably pushes to all time highs before any pullback
[+8] u/Zeppu: Seriously considering never looking at news, macroeconomic data, etc.
[+8] u/fknbtch: getting a bit bullish in here
[+7] u/babar_the_elephant_: Bears skinned alive wow
[+7] u/Aggressive-Ad-2707: Are red days illegal now? We haven’t had one since March 31st
[+7] u/BLADIBERD: there is no way we're green dude 😂
[+7] u/JackOfAllTradezs: I need to speak to a manager
[+6] u/Muted_Thought8382: Friendly reminder, bers were rejoicing all wknd in anticipation of the apocalyptic market crash today 😂 😂 😂