▶ Full Post Text
[+35] u/mangofruitdude: Its literally 7 guys trading rn. The volume is absolute shit
[+29] u/abroadbroadband: # WHICH THREAD DO YOU WANT US IN, MODS???
[+27] u/TheWokenessInjector: Trump is going to tweet tomorrow morning premarket that we have some alien technology that will end the war in 2 weeks. SPY +5%.
[+24] u/abroadbroadband: I just
# ✋🙄🤚
I can't comment under these conditions
[+21] u/modder9: Sir, a third thread has hit the subreddit
[+16] u/Comfortable733: ✅ Destroy Iran’s nuclear capabilities
✅ Director of National Intelligence tells you Iran hasn’t even begun to rebuild nuclear capabilities
✅ Go to war over Iran’s obliterated nuclear capabilities
✅ Beg for ceasefire
🤡
[+15] u/sturgill_and_co: How is it already recovering??? Fuck I’m going to lose so much in morning
[+12] u/bluen: It's crazy that mods manually create the thread on time instead of automating it
[+12] u/More_Advertising_383: At this rate green by bedtime
[+11] u/delicious_oppai: Buying puts at open tomorrow. Easy money.
[+11] u/A10cc: # WOW MODS ACTUALLY UPDATED THE DAILY
[+11] u/zangor: "Oh wait actually I haven't been this low in a while, this is a good opportunity to shoot way up and open green"
-The Market
[+11] u/PositiveToe2761: Next tweet: “ Actually the strait is now open thanks to palantir a great company, the ticker is PLTR if you weren’t aware. I repeat oil will go down because of PLTR. Did I mention the ticker is PLTR”.
[+11] u/31andnotdone: *So I was sitting at my desk today, and I realized, ever since I started trading, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life*
spy 450
[+11] u/Confident-Window4928: I swear to god if 🥭 cancels the blockade and we rally to 690 im withdrawing all my cash and stuffing it under my mattress
[+10] u/ddrsdght: False flag incoming?
[+10] u/Internal_Field5970: Oh God he’s gonna liberate the Vatican
[+10] u/lijijil: Freak the fuck out and sell everything
It's fuckin over
[+10] u/ILikeWhatISee69420: I am addicted to new threads now.
[+10] u/MakeResonableChoices: You’ll get caught up in the crossfire 🎵🎶
[+10] u/Ok_Interview_5809: Guys apparently the pope is “weak on crime” I mean what type of Christian even is he if he doesn’t want to punish people savagely. Bullish
[+10] u/Me-Regarded: 🥭 is talking right now. Pucker up ber
[+10] u/prana_fish: omfg if this shit goes green before I go to bed tonight I'm gonna fucking lose it laughing.
[+9] u/WingedScapula420: My move tomorrow is sell my puts at open before I get distracted at work and they declare that we've purchased Iran as the 51st State while I'm not looking.
[+9] u/whitehypeman: I agree with our leader, fuck the pope, Allah be praised. Calls
[+9] u/wallstreetsimps: bers cant get a damn break lmao
[+9] u/NegotiationWorking48: **Me at 20:**
Lobotomies are bad
**Me at 30:**
I wish I was lobotomized
[+9] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: High levels of USAF air transport activity from Europe to Middle Eastern bases
[+9] u/_Fibbles_: Believe it or not, I have no fucking idea anymore
[+8] u/Comfortable733: BREAKING: PERSIAN COUCH FUTURES OPEN TO CIRCUIT BREAKER
[+8] u/Bcider: ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠛⢉⢉⠉⠉⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠠⡰⣕⣗⣷⣧⣀⣅⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⣠⣳⣟⣿⣿⣷⣿⡿⣜⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠁⠄⣳⢷⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣝⠖⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠄⢢⡹⣿⢷⣯⢿⢷⡫⣗⠍⢰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡏⢀⢄⠤⣁⠋⠿⣗⣟⡯⡏⢎⠁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⢔⢕⣯⣿⣿⡲⡤⡄⡤⠄⡀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠇⠠⡳⣯⣿⣿⣾⢵⣫⢎⢎⠆⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢨⣫⣿⣿⡿⣿⣻⢎⡗⡕⡅⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢜⢾⣾⣿⣿⣟⣗⢯⡪⡳⡀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⠄⢸⢽⣿⣷⣿⣻⡮⡧⡳⡱⡁⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡄⢨⣻⣽⣿⣟⣿⣞⣗⡽⡸⡐⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡇⢀⢗⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣞⡵⡣⣊⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⡀⡣⣗⣿⣿⣿⣿⣯⡯⡺⣼⠎⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣧⠐⡵⣻⣟⣯⣿⣷⣟⣝⢞⡿⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⢘⡺⣽⢿⣻⣿⣗⡷⣹⢩⢃⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠪⣯⣟⣿⢯⣿⣻⣜⢎⢆⠜⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠄⢣⣻⣽⣿⣿⣟⣾⡮⡺⡸⠸⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡿⠛⠉⠁⠄⢕⡳⣽⡾⣿⢽⣯⡿⣮⢚⣅⠹⣿⣿⣿ ⡿⠋⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⠒⠝⣞⢿⡿⣿⣽⢿⡽⣧⣳⡅⠌⠻⣿ ⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⡐⠱⡱⣻⡻⣝⣮⣟⣿⣻⣟⣻⡺⣊
[+8] u/Sufficient_Insect812: If you're a man and you're balding, fk it - just let that shi go bro. Sometimes a man has to just accept himself the way he is.
[+8] u/Confident-Window4928: I could basically double the volume myself right now. Fuckin filler episode ass overnight
[+8] u/Unique_Zucchini1041: We will somehow be green tm lol
[+8] u/killcon84: Let me guess,🍊man will taco his blockade and the rigged market shoots up?
[+8] u/Fun-Valuable-7355: if I had a dollar for every time I’ve been correct I’d have minus $million rn
[+8] u/cinJESUS: should i be expecting another taco tuesday this week? 👀
[+8] u/SoothingWafer: No oil? Believe it or not, bullish
[+8] u/ten7four: It is way too bullish in here
[+7] u/Zfreezy: Is 🥭 shit talking the pope right now on Twitter?
[+7] u/drytexterfinalboss: Can't believe this Hormuz bullshit is still dragging on
[+7] u/ddrsdght: My asshole is blockaded
[+7] u/SPY_0DTE: Well I had a good day believing my puts would print anyway
[+7] u/Crazy_Reporter_7516: Mods banned me from discord for telling them to go back to the basement. Tomorrow is gonna be bloody Monday.
[+7] u/WendyDumpsterFire: Another day for bagholding ADBE
[+7] u/McClintockC: What thread is it?!
What day is it!?
Where are my pants?!?
[+7] u/Confident-Window4928: I really want to hold my puts for the big dump coming this year but the retarded retail traders and algos will continue to pump the market every time he has a ayahuasca trip where he envisions a concept of a deal with Iran
[+7] u/gomper: One day sand dick is going to rugpull. When that day will come is anyone's guess but one day sand dick will dump
[+7] u/jerome-yellen: Futes already rebounding, GG bears LOL
[+7] u/yyn1999: If i would have gotten a Dollar everytime im bearish i would have 0 Dollar 🦄
[+7] u/AcademicStandard3701: Mods need to be put in the timeout corner they are slipping like a bad clutch.
[+7] u/Floppedthenuts_: Lol that was a fake dip
[+7] u/grimandnordic1: 🥭 gonna rename it the Strait of America now that he controls the flow of spice
[+7] u/modder9: SPY: not even halfway to flat. Bols: circlejerking each other to completion.
[+7] u/Starkfault: Trump saw red futes and immediately decided to hold a press conference
Bears have no power here
[+6] u/jerm2z: I could have sworn we were already in tomorrow's Daily thread a few minutes ago
[+6] u/Adrian12094: bruh i just left a comment on the other one
[+6] u/Slightlybadpicks: Got fucked by sports gambling. Never again 🤬🤬
[+6] u/ILikeWhatISee69420: Come on just give me 1 more new thread and I swear it will be my last one.
[+6] u/Yousoldmetohigh: Actually might be green by open lmao
[+6] u/Starkfault: The Pope is always so old that’s why nobody is surprised when they die
Give it to a 30y.o. and maybe the crusades start again
[+6] u/Extreme_Green_1708: Reddit is begging for their big brother China to come beat the US up 😭😭😭
[+6] u/xeuropa: Port already recovering😹😹😹
[+6] u/pmotiveforce: I did not have, on my moron watching bingo card, someone being stupid enough to claim that a sitting pope is, and I quote, "weak on crime".
I forgot popes were supposed to be like grandstanding Phoenix Sheriffs seeking the death penalty for jaywalking.
[+6] u/Fabulous_Guide_4330: I am one step closer to flinging my own shit 💩
[+5] u/McClintockC: Bers stir 'fruit at the bottom' yogurts
[+5] u/WingedScapula420: Mods have unlocked the mysteries of time travel I see
[+5] u/ninjadude93: US threatening to blockade hormuz is some top tier dumb as fucking shit stupidity lol
[+5] u/PoobliusFlavius: Blockades by definition are acts of War
Where is Congress? ?? ???
[+5] u/Thecreamcheeze: Is spy really going to go green tonight holy
[+5] u/moosewithamuffin: Short term nothing burger + earnings right around the corner = spy 700 eom
[+5] u/Stunning-Dig-8916: Memory shortages will effect memory prices more than gas shortages effect gas prices.
[+5] u/pmoO0: YouTube recommended me a 9/11 documentary. The one with all the air traffic controllers.
They closed the skies ... similar to a certain strait.
(Not joking. YouTube really told me "Watch this now")
[+5] u/astromouse2024: ‘Moves for tomorrow’ unsure whether or not I should even look at my portfolio, last I checked I had puts down -58% and they expire next Friday
[+5] u/Me-Regarded: Impossible for market to go down, everybody wants back in
[+5] u/NeedToMakeMoneyz: THAT GODDAMN POPE UGH I HATE HIM SO MUCH HE SAID SOME MEAN SHIT ABOUT ME!!!
[+5] u/yyn1999: Who needs oil when you have AI 🤖
[+5] u/Internal_Field5970: I got a feeling imma lose a lot of fkin money tomorrow
[+32] u/ChampionshipOdd947: Does he really believe he's personally the reason Leo was chosen to be the pope? Does he just live in a bottomless pit of narcissism?
[+24] u/No_Relief_8705: Bers: it was so obvious
Buls: it was so obvious
Me: I'm blind, deaf, and dumb
[+23] u/undocumented_twerker: BREAKING: Iran says if 🥭 follows through with its blockage of the Hormuz Straight, they will be forced to blockade the blockade of the blockade
[+23] u/StockB0Y: Going to be on the Brink of world war 3 and this market going to open flat insane time we live in
[+22] u/GuyFaulks77: +8% pump on rumors of a deal, -0.75% after confirmation of no deal
[+20] u/alldawgsgotoheaven2: 80% of the time Mango has attended a UFC event the SPY closes green the Monday after. Do what u will
[+19] u/jer72981m: He mentioned the stock market in his pope post, Thats all we need to know he’s watching
[+19] u/mbdtf95: This guy is attacking pope for being extremely liberal. Imagine being such an extremist that head of fucking catholic church is considered too liberal for you.
[+18] u/All_FIREdUp: So if I’ve been following correctly:
1. U.S. attacks - Iran closes Strait
2. U.S. demands Strait to be opened
3. Iran agrees to open Strait
4. U.S. now threatening to close Strait
I’m starting to think these guys may be a bit retarded.
[+17] u/ModeForJoe: ***BREAKING NEWS:*** Hostilities flaring back up between Bullrabia and Bearistan, with fighting on the Portfolio Gulf and along the Strait of Morebooze. The 82nd Bullborne will look to secure a key coastline from Bearrorists well dug in. Negotiations, mediated by Chairman Pow, stalling over portfolio fees. *More at 11.*
[+16] u/yeahyoubored: how could you get into a twitter fight with the Pope?
I mean seriously
[+16] u/undocumented_twerker: It's funny, the market isn't even pricing in this taco. This is the market pricing in 5 tacos from now
[+16] u/HistoryVibesCanJive: Oil up 8%, Dow down 500, bonds selling off, and Trump is beefing with the Pope. This is the most bullish environment I've ever seen. Loading calls on uncertainty itself.
[+16] u/International_Bee653: BREAKING: Iran says that if Trump carries out his Strait of Hormuz blockade on April 13th, Iran will respond by taking control of the Bab el-Mandeb Strait to the Red Sea with the Houthis.
This would cut off another 12% of global energy supply, bringing the total shortfall to 32%
https://x.com/i/status/2043457565112074555
[+16] u/nullzeroerror: 🥭saying pope Leo is soft on crime is funny as fuck. What a fucking dumbass lmao
[+15] u/TestingLifeThrow1z: "All oil blocked off Earth"
Market: green.
[+15] u/FlatwormBig5514: Yo, did he really attack the Pope? The Pope? Really?
[+15] u/Current_Animator7546: We joke but in all seriousness 🥭 is one very sick guy. In many different ways. Probably for many different reasons. Bullish.
[+15] u/arbitraryBlue: Beefing with the pope is hilarious lmaooooo
[+14] u/Worried_Quarter469: Donald praising Allah and attaching the pope
Who knew
[+14] u/Actual_Difference617: ORCL new CFO got $26 million after firing 30,000 people. I hope AI fails completely.
[+13] u/Unfamous_Trader: Why does it feel to me like we’re gonna be green tomorrow?
[+13] u/ThermalChaser: Rest assured. I'm monitoring the situation.
[+12] u/defordj: We have fully collapsed into horseracing shit. "Oh he always jumps three times when he's really gonna run out the middle." Oh he hates running when it's gonna rain the next day." "He's wearing number 7, he can't lose. _
[+12] u/JaredFlys: Hungary done with 🥭. The US is next in Nov. I’m ready to end this nonsense.
[+12] u/Time_Independence355: God forbid for a bear to make money, omfg
[+12] u/itsnotshade: Is it really recovering on a “2nd round of peace talks” rumor?
Unreal delusion
[+12] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Market is pricing in world peace
[+12] u/FuckleUp: Straight is double closed… now market can go up big twice. 🥭 math
[+12] u/e10n: “Dow futures slide as war tensions keep traders at the edge”
“Futures rise as traders are optimistic of a long term deal”
“S&P futures are hardly changed as CNBC clowns cannot think of real headlines”
[+11] u/Top_Cranberry_3254: Totally convinced the only thing keeping this market up is the fact our country has become a bunch of degen gamblers who all have trading apps on their phones 24 hours/day.
[+11] u/MrEdwL: Fuck it. I'm selling everything and freaking the fuck out
[+11] u/According_To_Me_: You thought your puts would print didn’t you squidward
[+11] u/Napster-mp3: This is the gayest market of all time
[+11] u/---Right--Tackle---: #green by open bears in shambles
[+11] u/fakeversace1: Pope is too Woke! Lmfao
[+11] u/Nervous-Basis-1707: Chief regard declaring war on the Catholic Church. A new Christian schism is bullish
[+11] u/syedhuda: this week is going to be a steak buffet for the bers
[+10] u/Retaining-Wall: Y'all fuckin vagueposters. Stop vagueposting.
[+10] u/WeenieWang_: Those crazies betting on the second coming happening this year might've been onto something lmao.
[+10] u/killainvest: https://preview.redd.it/uqcbjj596vug1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fba0932a649c3a38d3b6a0773116262aa7201a96
[+10] u/Full_Muffin7930: The uncertainty is finally over - we know the strait is closed and will remain closed. Calls.
[+10] u/WeenieWang_: My gawd, he should've ended it with "He should cath-o-lic my balls". That would've pumped the market more.
[+10] u/Total_Schedule591: Pope drops Ai diss track
[+10] u/amanj41: SPY almost -3% to only -0.8% is diabolical
[+10] u/Useful_Donut6789: tariffs on vatican city incoming
[+9] u/Majestic_Natural_361: Ngl I’d vote for the pope in 2028
[+9] u/ajibtunes: Iran didn’t consider how regard US market is
[+9] u/falling_knives: So Iran keeps strait closed. US says we're gonna make is extra closed. Market goes down slightly. Mango TACOs, strait goes back to just closed instead of extra closed. Market pumps another 3%.
[+9] u/Western_Rope_6826: I’ll be the first to say it, puts on open 🤪
[+9] u/Individual_Error_428: Most of you guys are AI
[+9] u/clubdirthill: 🥭 is going to send JD to dispatch with this new pope as well
[+9] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Every single truth post is reminiscent of a 5 year brats thoughts and tantrums
[+9] u/Dizzy-Green-3188: Remember 24 hour Walmarts
[+9] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: Everyone's talking about the pope truth but the AI picture of him literally being Jesus is fucking killing me
[+9] u/Thebaxxxx: She didnt break up with me, i broke up with her! 🖕
[+9] u/Datsyuk131313: Springsteen catching multiple strays from a sitting President was not on lifelong bingo card
[+9] u/Actual_Difference617: I am gonna blockade the house pipes.
[+9] u/Total_Schedule591: Normalize not having to ask the girl to go home after coitus
[+9] u/SaveTheAles: He is bored of Iran, we bombing the Vatican.
[+9] u/f0xinaround: Hey guys 5 dementia chess is really hard ♟️
[+9] u/bigbootytrudyyy: I hate this market. How did Futes bounce back from being down 2%
[+9] u/AegonTheMeh: He just posted AI slop of him as Jesus
Calls on boomer AI slop
[+9] u/bullhunter469: Futes recovering FUCKING FAST lmao
Ber SCARED AS FUCK lmao
Ber swimming to Strait of Hormuz to manually boost the U.S. CENTCOM's Blockade lmao
[+9] u/Open_Waltz6902: Mangos presidency has felt like a century and its only been a year and change...
[+8] u/arkeus1: TACO out there beefing with Pope now, he is truly gone.
[+8] u/Bizonistic: The Anti Christ calling out and criticizing the Pope on social media is pretty funny LOL
[+8] u/bb483: Ok I have shorted oil to hedge my spy shorts , now watch them both run
[+8] u/claytondpark: How u block something that's already been blocked? Asking for a fren 🤔🤔🤔
[+8] u/ismebbb: Crazy how a few years ago you'd be crucified if you said anti semitic things and now it's everywhere on social media
[+8] u/OrdinaryMix4013: based catholiics tomo "he didnt mean it when he said Fuk the Pope and the Holy Spirit!"
[+8] u/deadmetallucyluce: In poker terms, Iran has a Strait and 🥭 has pocket deuces. And this mofo keeps betting more.
[+8] u/cashflow_: I’m watching that movie project Hail Mary. Seems pretty good so far
[+8] u/Separate_Fold5168: https://preview.redd.it/vx9dput96vug1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2e6fcefeff2d28c0358ae7a54def2ecf1d62f379
[+8] u/Pury101: The pope could do the funniest thing by excommunicating JD , 3Ls in one week
[+8] u/BillyShears2015: At this point I would only be marginally shocked if 🥭 declared himself Mormon tomorrow
[+8] u/Crashian: We just got elevated to Doughcon 3 on the pentagon pizza index
[+8] u/farmerjoe007: See you boys at 690 tmr
[+8] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: It is funny but I’m sure people were like this when the internet first happened and I’m sure all the concerns have been validated by now
[+7] u/RampantPrototyping: NVDA been flat for 8 months now
[+7] u/WSB-mods-are-: The last time peace talks were going this well there were only 18 airstrikes the following day
[+7] u/Defiant-Fee-7550: Drug dealer neighbor blasting the boombox again on a Sunday night. Puts on my sleep 🥸✊
[+7] u/IGotSkills: Pretty sure it's fucking cryogenically frozen trust fund fuckers propping up the whole market cuz they think they are going to get revived and wake up rich. Lol mother fuckers are going to get woke up and drafted.
[+7] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #taco man picking a fight with the holy spirit lmao lmao
[+7] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Lol market already pricing in TACO
[+7] u/GuwopGOAT: It’s gonna be Radioactive Green tomorrow ☢️
[+7] u/ring_of_slattern: Computer, make this market super fake and gay
[+7] u/scooterhomeimprover: So Trump is definitely not going to Heaven
[+7] u/undocumented_twerker: Muslims and Christians coming together to take down 🥭
[+7] u/Open_Waltz6902: Gonna need mango to drop the SPY ticker in his next tweet
[+7] u/Total_Schedule591: Sure has been a while since a good new dorito flavor dropped.
[+7] u/Meamigoyo: I should’ve never calculated gains on my spy puts when it was at 660
[+7] u/EnginrA: I can’t stop farting
[+7] u/LarsTarkas: Oil shock and fertilizer shortages? Whatever, that will resolve itself
Saas being threatened by slop code with more security holes than Swiss cheese? Real shit
[+7] u/Outrageous_Tip_2133: I will blockade Robinhood
[+7] u/pen15_club_admin: When you elect Simple Jack
[+7] u/No_Relief_8705: Buls: it's gonna be green
Bers: it's gonna be red
Me: I'm gonna be regarded either way
[+7] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #critiziing the pope is so anti american
[+7] u/Macknetix: I will be buying the dip… Again 💔
[+7] u/Retaining-Wall: Ahhh. Sundown... My favourite time of day.
[+7] u/hallett21: PLTR gonna be 180 by open
[+7] u/R1ckyB0bby_: The Vatican is the one country he cant threaten with violence or sanctions, his ego isn't equipped for this
[+7] u/sombranegra21: Been here before. Opens red, will be green close. If it surges green at open take your profits at open and run. No idea how rest of week plays out. Good luck to those playing option roulette.
[+7] u/OkResponsibility2470: 🥭 lucky it’s 2026. In 1498 the Pope would’ve banned him from heaven mid-post
[+7] u/ajibtunes: Pope can pray for cholesterol
[+7] u/Spiritual_Taste_1253: There’s straight up no obvious play for tommorow.
We could continue dumping into the 60s, we could get Taco’d back to 680. Or just theta trolled at 675.
It’s a genuine casino
[+7] u/__nameless____: At this rate, I'm expecting impeachment by the end of the week lmao
[+7] u/liamk182: I thought Scotty didn't know though?
[+6] u/AGreasyPorkSandwich: Gonna crab sideways for awhile until Trump throws out a wild ass tweet then it'll go down half a point and then 🌮 Tuesday will hit for an up 2%.
[+6] u/baconography: 🥭 needs to take some THC gummies and watch Bob Ross videos.
[+6] u/brookedow: Confucius say:
AI won’t take your job, it will allow you to do any job.
[+6] u/Tropicalfisher: First one through the Strait is gay
[+6] u/derprondo: <Hank Hill voice>
You see, guys, it's not what trades you make, it's what trades you don't make.
[+6] u/Lurk_Maximus: There's a dude walking around handcuffed to a briefcase not too far from 🥭
[+6] u/Majestic-Bass6772: concepts of a blockade followed by concepts of a cancellation leading to the concept of a victory
[+6] u/DanqueLeChay: We only go red if there’s a toilet paper shortage
[+6] u/undocumented_twerker: How are Velveeta prices with petroleum being so expensive?
[+6] u/trsx5: Going after the pope is wild work
[+6] u/BillyShears2015: This is gonna be a blockade in name only. They aren’t going to actually interdict any ships, and they aren’t going to blow a Chinese vessel out of the water. They’ll probably just tell ships to turn around, and most will but anyone with enough balls will just sail right on through.
[+6] u/HwangingAround: Holy shit, gonna be some multi-billionaire put holders with SPY down 0.74%, how can it recover from these levels??????????
[+6] u/jonneh: Oh shit 🥭 attacking the Pope on his social media bro about to crash out 🤣
[+6] u/No_Economist3815: Bers definitely in disbelief, walking around talking to themselves.
[+6] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: Kegsbreath fired the top military priest so you know he means business
[+6] u/Initial_Ad_9250: Gotta be honest with you mayne, single life is not that bad. Zero bs , zero nagging.
But you gotta hold yerself responsible like I gotta ask meself why the fuck am I irresponsibly long on 'em TSLA 500 calls leaps . Many such cases
[+6] u/dylanx5150: Didn't we win the war right after it started? Why hasn't he renamed it the Straight of America already?
[+6] u/Ok-Analysis4121: Buying calls at open
[+6] u/mrbipty: Where bers assemble.. lambo dealership?
[+6] u/Total_Schedule591: Girl farts are far worse than nuclear fallout
[+6] u/Total_Schedule591: The gov is brought to you by, Palantir, we'll invade your privacy.
[+6] u/Clappindemcheekies: I just want to see SPY go 3-5 percent in any direction at this point
[+6] u/Successful-End7689: pope catching strays now lol
[+6] u/OptionsHuduga: She’s a 10 but she just blockaded u
[+6] u/ajibtunes: 🥭 is obv muslim - praise be
[+6] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: It looks like we’ve decided on a thread good job
[+6] u/Jay3377: Buy the pre market dip and sell the rip
[+6] u/zestykite: Oil longs are better than spy shorts. Oil is purely war driven. Spy had a bunch of other tech and AI things propping it up. Maybe bears just need to stick to oil
[+6] u/xroslin: weekend escalation, Tuesday TACO, why you guys still can't figured it out?
[+6] u/OptionGamble: How can you be that rich and still so miserable
[+6] u/Walking72: NO. MORE. HEAD. TRIPS.
- Pantera
"This love"
Vulgar display of power
1992
[+6] u/NazgulSandwich: the fake -3% open on the robinhood graph is a diabolical touch from MMs to the morons who look at lines instead of actual flow. It was never at -3% lol, would look like a great V if you actually believed that.
[+6] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: my asshole is so itchy
[+6] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Give me circuit breaker or give me death 🐻🌈
[+6] u/IntrepidToday0: BREAKING: Melania just published a new video claiming that she was not involved with the BTK killer.
[+6] u/Col_Treize69: Melania is gonna deny that she's the Zodiac Killer and DEFINITELY doesn't have access to a time machine, who brought up a time machine lol?
[+6] u/aioliravioli: spy will go to 700 and your grocery bill will go up 20%
[+6] u/old-cow666: SEND NOAM’S HUSBAND’S TITS TO FORM THE BLOCKADE
[+6] u/sha1dy: # LMAO NOBODY CARES ABOUT EUROPOORS
[+5] u/Sea_Trip_8941: The hardcore Christian’s will make an excuse for why mango is talking shit on the pope
[+5] u/Snowman33001: LOL bers really thought that they had this one licked
[+5] u/maximuminimum: Bers scared to wake up tomorrow - they’re having an identity crisis atm since they wrote all the dissertations but the market just wants to reeeeeeee ✊🏽🥵
[+5] u/XorAndNot: Who the fucks knows what the fuck to do?
[+5] u/Charming_Raccoon4361: Why did the futures start to go up ?
[+5] u/slytythesneakyguy: My boner looks like a thumb
[+5] u/undocumented_twerker: K shaped recovery by the morning
[+5] u/Flat-Focus7966: This is not opening as red as a lot of people are expecting. If no positive news comes in, the bigger dump happens later in the day
[+5] u/IGotSkills: This forum is better than the news
[+5] u/TopTrey9: That 8% gap up in oil still scares me..
[+5] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Criticize the pope but brag about creating the best stock market ever is all you gotta know .. calls, always calls
[+5] u/MikeyS2k: I cant believe we barely dumping
[+5] u/ProudRaccoon4653: We live in the dumbest timeline. The US is committing to blocking the straight and there is a non zero chance that the market opens green tomorrow.
[+5] u/Mysterious_Ad6637: How isn’t the markets bloody red rn
[+5] u/Retaining-Wall: Surge_Strip_Plugged_Into_Itself_Brainlet.gif
[+5] u/barkwoofgrrr: If stocks would go down, 🥭 would actually feel pressure to fix this. But since it stays up he can just fuck around for a while
[+5] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Remember when a big bag of chips only cost $2.99? 😔
[+5] u/cow_grass: Red at night bulls delight
[+5] u/chikenbeer: Lol all the doomer headline and threads and futes only down 0.89%
[+5] u/Alone_Mobile_4974: Bulls and bers eating cake at Bigfoot’s birthday party
[+5] u/redshift83: The president and his advisors are having serious discussions about the pope. Rumored he doesn’t like holiness or the message.
[+5] u/sha1dy: # WE ARE FUCKED I TELL YOU
[+5] u/9tacos: Ok Computer, attack the Berz lmao
[+5] u/Chieftyfifty: This is looking like calls at open
[+5] u/MeeseShoop: The only way to solve this is a boxing match between Leo and Mango
[+5] u/CardiologistEqual336: China has entered the chat
[+5] u/Bluesquare9: And I’ve always said he’s weak on crime 😮💨
[+5] u/Upstairs_Deal3108: At this rate we open +2% crazy clown game
[+5] u/Ecstatic_Layer_9736: If nothing else, this is all just great content for a monty python reboot
[+5] u/fartpooppee420: To be honest, blockading and seizing all tankers coming from Iranian ports will definitely starve the regime of much needed money. Might be the smartest play this administration has done so far, if he doesn't TACO.. Who knows if Iran will switch to exporting via the Caspian sea instead, though.
[+5] u/Total_Schedule591: Gather up the boys we're blocking the pacific next!
[+5] u/nasdaqslut: sending JD Vance to do any semblance of negotiating means you weren't serious in the first place
[+5] u/AdOk3638: Pope Leo is weak on crimes! LMAO!!
[+5] u/9tacos: Ok Pope, unleash the beast
[+5] u/Acceptable_Bed_6033: It’s gonna climb green then dump at 9
[+5] u/ajibtunes: There will be a ground invasion, maybe in a month or two. He doesn’t have any choice but to double down. And that folks will be the bottom.
[+5] u/DisplayMelodic5955: nothings better for the market than a good old fashioned oil war. lets not play around now
[+5] u/thatavengersguy: It's always been about the regard friends we made along the way
[+5] u/scooterhomeimprover: Once the real professionals come into work tomorrow morning, yall are fucking COOKED
[+5] u/JCarterPeanutFarmer: USO got me bricked up. Selling my calls at open.
[+5] u/pineapplekiwipen: at this point if we drop a nuke the market is gonna go -.5%
[+5] u/Actual_Difference617: Markets are tired of dumping and pumping. He needs to take L and get out of Iran. Let us do the normal trading instead of being afraid to losing a position completely within seconds because he tweeted some bullshit.
[+5] u/9tacos: Pope will stand on business. 🌮 cooked
[+5] u/Fomo4life69: Bulls couldn’t break 675. Time to get ass fcked now
[+5] u/Bill_Clintons_Desk5: No matter what happens tomorrow, Monica will be there for me
[+5] u/Drchubbypanda: When lambo said they don’t do commercial on TV because their customers are not watching it, that hit me.
[+5] u/Optimal-Midnight4295: The biggest issue I have with the current rate of inflation is that I don’t foresee Wendy’s 4 for $4 coming back any time soon
[+5] u/WSB-mods-are-: Ngl, I thought the war on drugs was the dumbest of all time. Then 2026 happened.
[+5] u/OrdinaryMix4013: BREAKING: President Donald Pump says gas prices could be in the range of $4 to $50, higher the better he says
[+5] u/FaustMoth: At this point I think they're spending more time planning the next taco than trying to win the war
[+5] u/derprondo: If the IRS charged me $500 to automatically do my taxes for me I wouldn't be mad at fucking all.
[+5] u/exhibit304: Now Is it time to sell everything and buy back in later?
I've had this thought about 10 times over the past month and would have been fucked but surely this time right ?
[+5] u/Iunatic: I mean that's not true. Being a permabull always pays off eventually while being a permabear will bankrupt you eventually lol
[+20] u/holymolyratio: boomers ruined it for everyone
[+20] u/EyeSea7923: I say he takes Europe next. It would take 2 years before they'd make a decision to fight back, and even then, their tanks will never meet Euro 6 emission standards.
[+19] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Bro legit might be be the a n t I c h r I s t. That's a crazy ass tweet
[+19] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Can we all agree as bear and bull none of this shit makes sense
[+18] u/DarkR124: Bros rage tweeting at the pope now? JFC. I don’t see him lasting 4 years. Dudes mind is mush.
[+18] u/Aldribuds: I miss good ol sleepy Joe 💤😴💤📈
[+17] u/peterpeer9: I checked Kelly Blue book to find the value of my car and they asked if the gas tank was full or empty
[+16] u/aaapod: what does the SEC even do at this point
[+16] u/McKoijion: If Iran doesn’t think America is going to stand by its Greatest Ally until the bitter end, they’re in for a big surprise.
* Every American veteran has a story where an IDF member risked life and limb to save them in combat.
* Imagine where we’d be if Netanyahu hadn’t warned us about Saddam’s nukes?
* They’re so kind, they give free trips to our political and religious leaders all the time.
* Sure we have to scrimp and save a bit, but we’re only sending them about $1000 per person every 6-12 months.
[+13] u/borat_he_like_you: Everyone talking about the war on Iran… meanwhile guys with a wife/girlfriend been in a never-ending war with shifting rules and no peace treaty.
[+13] u/Due-Dirt-8428: Something poetic about the stock market hitting all time highs while 75% of the country has no fucking money lmao
[+12] u/RealPrinceZuko: Thank God for no new wars 😺
[+12] u/ALittleWorseEveryday: Market will be down 3.5% and SNDK will be up 3.5%. I’m from the future
[+12] u/bruhhzilla: This guy shits on the pope then posts a pic of himself as Jesus lmaooo
Meanwhile jabronis on here are like " believe it or not, calls"
[+12] u/yayahi: Oil will go to $120 and spy will hit ATH lmao
[+11] u/cbusoh66: Why would CENTCOM pick 10:00 am on Monday (6 pm Hormuz time) for the start of the blockade? Seems odd, do they want to see market reaction before they float some walk-back bullshit?
[+11] u/CD274: "🥭 dismisses need for Iranian participation in talks, saying he is unconcerned about their return to negotiations"
o_0
[+11] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: This might be worst than the time SPY pumped because we started using Mask during COVID LMAO
[+10] u/MilkMySpermCannon: People afraid of AI taking their jobs and then they solve every problem with chatGPT. You're already replaced by AI brother.
[+10] u/Initial_Attitude_980: The most delusional ber you know is victory lapping this overnight dip
[+10] u/BjergBetterThanFaker: daily reminder mango was a millionaire by age 8 because his dad gave him 300k a year and retards think he could relate to the common people LMAO
[+10] u/silverbulls8: Let the stocks hit the floor, let the stocks hit the floor
[+10] u/Haboubiii: Did this retard post himself as Jesus????
[+10] u/McKoijion: Relax folks. The last time this happened, it only lasted 7 years. If you can’t even go a few short years without fuel, maybe a little detox will be good for you.
> The tanker war, part of the larger Iran–Iraq War, was a series of military attacks by Iran and Iraq against merchant vessels in the Persian Gulf and Strait of Hormuz from 1981 to 1988. Iraq was responsible for 283 attacks. Iran accounted for 168.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanker_war
[+10] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Every single time this happens pre market hours with oil being up and SPY being down it inverses at Open. Not falling for this trap again.
[+10] u/OB1KENOB: Imagine a Bond remake with a female Bond. She wakes up on a plane with a dude staring at her, and she asks “who are you?”, to which he replies:
“My name is Penis Galore”
[+10] u/Any_Bluebird1765: In 24 hours T threatened nato countries US would leave, threatened to start striking Iran again. Threatened China with 50% tariffs. Came very close to threatening the pope of all people. Guy is full on deranged. And thats just in 24 hours.
[+10] u/bigboybigbat: Tweet at 8:30 AM saying Iran is now listening to us so I have decided to not to block their blockade. Market pumps 2 percent tomorrow
[+9] u/cbusoh66: You all know Bloomberg will float some fake headline tomorrow about restarting talks or some blockade delay and market will spike 3%, I can even predict the headline to the letter...
"Trump Tells Aides He May Reconsider Blockade after Iran Signals New Flexibility on Possible Restart of Talks" or some similar empty headline bullshit
[+9] u/RansomeRandom: Only three things in life are certain: death, taxes and Taco claiming the Strait of Hormuz is open at 8:30 before the stock market opens.
[+9] u/NoFuckingValue: In the words of the late, great Warren Buffet: "fuck we may be cooked chat fr"
[+9] u/WillSmithNipples: Can we just fast forward to when I’m profitable and have a mansion, a 21 year old blasian wife, and a Porsche 911
[+9] u/Johnny_Menace: 🕯
🕯 🕯
🕯 🕯
🕯 SPY 700 🕯
🕯 🕯
🕯 🕯
🕯
It’s coming bears! There’s no stopping it. 🚂
[+9] u/ngr_fqt: breaking news : iran demands 🥭 to fuck a pig live on tv to settle this once and for all
[+9] u/Entreprenewbeur: Trying to figure out how to make money while really stupid people in power try to figure out how to fuck me in the ass
[+9] u/Visible_Sentence_399: Justin Trudeau looks like my drug dealer at Coachella
[+8] u/BarbellPadawan: This is actually not the dumbest thing 🥭 has done as head of executive branch. Probably not even the dumbest thing this month. Bullish.
[+8] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: I thought the war ended?
[+8] u/Living_Tax_2790: Idk how you all haven't realized by now that overnight futures are basically a coinflip for whether or not they indicate the direction for the next day
Not worth the energy of staring at them
[+8] u/Humble_Code_6501: inside the mind of TACO... How tf i will open this fuckin strait...
wait, i will close it myself and claiming i reopened it... im a fuckin genius
[+8] u/cbusoh66: Remember 🥭thought the market would have tanked more on Iran war, he's just playing with house money now...
[+8] u/dont_downvote_SPECIL: What needs to happen to call this World War 3?
We already have Russia vs. Ukraine
Iran vs USA
USA deposed Venezuela's leader; eyes are on Cuba
[+8] u/ProudestPeasant: fraud market be fraud-ing
vance: oh, iran wanted Lebanon to be part of ceasefire and we didn't because Lebanon has got nothing to do with iran, so because of this misunderstanding, there is and never was any agreement.
[+8] u/BloodyFkin: It’s going to be so red at market open, I’m cooked
[+8] u/FullTard2000: the shitty thing about this taco trade is he doesn’t have full control of it
like last year he metaphorically had a gun held the economy’s head and threatened to shoot, then chickend out
this year he threw a rock at a bear, hit him right in the eye and really pissed him off. Hard situation to chicken out of now
[+8] u/Rare-Dragonfruit-246: the "blockade" by trump is the most telegraphed TACO that I"VE EVER SEEN
he'll cancel it and the market will pump. Yes I know it does not matter much but the market will pump regardless. be warned
[+8] u/abused-throwawayy: Oh good futes are rising so i can buy puts at open
[+8] u/OddTea74: SPY 700 THIS WEEK U HEARD IT
[+8] u/stringtheory28: People that have lost life changing amounts of money, are the memes helping?
[+7] u/Tocharian: The average comments under WSB front page posts are getting very mean once again. That's been a very reliable pullback indicator for me.
[+7] u/Orangeyougladisme: Is the greatest stock market in history in the room with us?
[+7] u/Dependent_Bike_3112: should i put 85% of my account into 0dte swing trades tomorrow
[+7] u/Initial_Attitude_980: I just drew some lines on a tradingview chart and the end result kinda looks like Pikachu's tail. Anyone know how to interpret that?
[+7] u/cbusoh66: I am cashing everything tomorrow and putting it all in Uday & Qusay's World Liberty Shitcoin
[+7] u/pandadrizzle: Imagine if Covid had got just one more person
[+7] u/Disconn3cted: 🌮 right before open and it'll pump 10% tomorrow
[+7] u/bigbluesongbird: i've bought puts twice now when i've expected it to go down. now, i will buy calls. either way, i'm retarded.
[+7] u/Appropriate-Run-7490: Somebody definitely getting nuked this year
[+7] u/jsgdjksfhkjdshf: futures only down 0.75%, taco is priced in already
[+7] u/Illustrious_Lion7671: The peacefulness of cash gang really is unmatched
[+7] u/bandofshepherds: Believe it or not, call an escort
[+7] u/Harp-Note: I hate weekends now.
[+7] u/WhiteCollllarCrime69: About to bully my prostate
[+7] u/DefiantDelta: the least christlike individual to ever exist thinks he’s jeebus lmfao
[+7] u/unhappyreach_: Deer dairy
Planted chamomile and sunflowers today. Harvested some radish
[+7] u/doyoumoney: The only way to fix this is for the market to plummet every time he posts something completely deranged.
[+6] u/sailortyx56: We beefing with the Pope now????
Why???
[+6] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: That Jesus picture should be an automatic circuit breaker
[+6] u/wyudtix: Can someone just tell me who is fuk tomorrow? Bol or Ber?
[+6] u/essdii-: I would not be surprised if futes go green. Essentially the moment I chose to go full ghey ber the market finger banged my butthole. And now that I still feel frisky for the peen, market is going to be green tomorrow too
[+6] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Paper handed my NBIS put smh
[+6] u/Character_Pirate_152: Turkey wants to invade and spank Israel's ass.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/world-news/turkish-president-erdogan-calls-netanyahu-37002875
[+6] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: Still way too many people who think it will be green by open.
[+6] u/WantonCateran: Seriously, can't stop making money and when it goes against me, I just wait another day and back in the money ffs. Gonna be time to short oild again pretty soon.
[+6] u/sonofalando: Just invade already you pussies.
[+6] u/SlfImpr: If Monday ends in green, what happens on 🌮 Tuesday?
[+6] u/Ok-Organization1796: Bleed spy bleed. A poetic consequence for this disastrous war would be spy below 600 in one day
[+6] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: Lmao it’s not even gonna hold -0.75% red overnight.
Why would you short this market?
[+6] u/bruhhzilla: BREAKING: Boko Haram to mediate talks between US and Iran Monday morning
[+6] u/Asleep-Strike4978: Man! This guy Truths like a teenager!
[+6] u/NYGiants181: This fucking loser really knows no shame
[+6] u/Bubbledood: Klarna announces partnership with shell, introduces a new payment plan option at the pump
[+6] u/doyoumoney: 🥭 is now Jesus, everything is going to be okay now. Dow will open at 5 million tomorrow and everyone is invited to 🥭 tower on the moon.
[+6] u/vermilli21: I’m gonna open the straight by closing it myself 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
[+6] u/BunkerRush: No agreement coz no one said thank you to JD
[+6] u/ProudestPeasant: I hate war-mongerers and war-hawks
imagine you work for a war-hawk organisation. Your whole livelihood and purpose in life is reliant on manufacturing enemies out of other countries, fear-mongering, making countries out to be threats, being provocative, etc...so you can keep getting that government funding.
[+6] u/KarmaWhoreCam: Smile because I loaded up on oil on Friday expecting this to happen
[+6] u/DeezCodeNutz: Can we leave 🤡 town now?
[+6] u/SuffiecientSapian: Wait until 9:30 am before saying that
[+6] u/Fresh_Internal_6085: And today..and yesterday
[+6] u/Castopliani: Wait until the macro improves and it's 50% higher, buy, then panic sell during the next drop
[+6] u/VisualMod: **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/Jebusfreek666** bet **SPY** goes from **680.28** to **660.0** before **17-Apr-2026 10:33 PM EDT**
Their record is 0 wins and 2 losses.
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+6] u/BlackKnightsOptions: Afghanistan didn't have oil by the balls
[+5] u/Doughnutpower: I’m such a loser posting on this thread! I’m waiting for the next one in an hour.
[+5] u/CalebVanPoneisen: Strait blocked this week, unclogged the next. Every weekend…
[+5] u/SlfImpr: US naval blockade only applies to ships originating from Iranian ports (link in comments).
So basically, countries like China or India can:
(1) buy oil/gas from any of the middle eastern countries (except Iran) and they will not face US blockade ( blockade #2).
(2) Now if they also secretly pay the $2M toll (comes out to $1/barrel) to Iran in Bitcoin or Yuan, Iran will let them pass the Strait (blockade #1)
**So there is a simple and safe workaround to get through both blockades!!**
[+5] u/Sad-Airman: Gold down is OK, cheaper for smeegol
[+5] u/Independent_Ad1086: it's all green dicks on es cant make this clown show up
[+5] u/Gnargoyles: If futes don’t limit down we green tmrw
[+5] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: PLTR might hit 700 before SPY at this point
[+5] u/Historical_Edge_3325: Europe is going to dump the dog shit out of this thing
[+5] u/ZealousidealSector19: Still am unsure if I should be happy or sad I'm loaded up on calls
[+5] u/Pete26l96: today's the last day credit card transactions show up on my statement for the month (next cycle starts tomorrow), I can finally spend money going out to eat again lol.
Got $348 in the bank, $335 on my credit card statement. Didn't want to sell shares to pay off my credit card statement until after Q1 earnings so I've had to stay at home and eat only rice / chicken for the last 2 weeks.
[+5] u/Guilty_Ad_8433: Nose bleeding, but I'm still ripping key bumps til open
[+5] u/punxphil27: Cramer just called that tomorrow will be worse than 87 not sure what all that means but either way sounds like tomorrow may be red
[+5] u/419Penguins: why did this subreddit go from 3.2M to 3M
[+5] u/coldtacomeat: Can we get Straight Of Hormuz stimmy checks?
[+5] u/Acceptable_Eagle_775: The market can stay irrational longer than your retarded ber ass can stay solvent.
[+5] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Why tf we’re dumb ass mosquitos put on this planet they do nothing but spread disease and make you itch like a mf
[+5] u/borat_he_like_you: Every time I hear of Benjamin Netanyahu I think of Yahoo chocolate milk 🥛 😋
[+5] u/vCharged: All this black Monday talk and we’re hardly even down - nice work bears!
[+5] u/Happy-n-Healthy: TACO gonna \\\\ Nixon // Out soon!
[+5] u/Independent-Egg9086: Stupid people you know there will be morning tweet +2% Spy bring that bitch to 700.
[+5] u/Vikingnorris: I can’t pay any more for gas I’m gonna have to get a new job
[+5] u/Visible_Sentence_399: I have actually quit buying slim Jim’s because they keep commenting cringy things on tiktok videos and it pisses me off
[+5] u/ThatOneRedditBro: Its wild how many normies there are that dont follow the news and hit me up weeks later about the strait news.
[+5] u/xironically23: Do I do a quick spx put at open or nah
[+5] u/mightychicken64: WE’RE GETTING GAPED TOMORROW
[+5] u/Jemmani22: just go long oil and long spy. you'll win both by the end of the week
[+5] u/Full_Boysenberry_198: From USAID to Blockade: A Regarded Look at International Relations
[+5] u/MusingsAndMind: A BEARISH PUMP
A CRASH UPWARDS
[+5] u/AdCritical5383: Someone needs to take one for the team and give 🥭 a jork.
[+5] u/BjergBetterThanFaker: go all in on UVXY tomorrow if you want free money. Mango is gonna go ballistic the next few months to do everything he wants to do before he get wiped out in the midterms. All in UVXY
[+5] u/SaltyRiceCake90: i'm not real religious... but i wouldn't advise talking bad about the pope just in case
[+5] u/JellyfishFestival: This will go down like maybe 1% tomorrow, then go up 4% in two days when they announce restarting talks.
Then down 2% when they completely break down talks again and someone makes a nuke threat. But then back up 5% when they do another 2 week ceasefire.
And over and over until we're at SPX 15,000 in the middle of a deep recession in 2028 and the massive egos on both sides are all still starting and stopping war and juicing the market while killing and impoverishing and excessively surveilling their ordinary people all the while.
[+5] u/Automatic-L0ss: Market doesn’t look as bad as I thought it would 😁😁
[+5] u/Nice-Difference8641: He’s been losing it for 10 years but he’s legit losing it in a way that’s materially different I just can’t quite place it
anyway, calls because nothing matters
[+5] u/GeneratedMonkey: Amazing what one can accomplish if they can predict the future.
[+5] u/Muted_Wasabi_1284: My futures contract did lol
[+15] u/TickTockTaudit: You didn’t post the hotline last week
[+13] u/ApathysLastKiss_: It annoys me how if I get interested in a topic for an hour or two, the YouTube algorithm decides I've devoted my life to it
[+13] u/Dbestinvest: We all are laughing at 🥭 but truth is…this is going to be our demise…
[+12] u/TheMightySet69: Puts are obvious... too obvious...
[+12] u/NoMarketing8778: A lot of yall should do well in college and consider a masters degree, so you can delay unemployment by about 2 years.
[+12] u/GentrifiedStake: How long before 🥭 posts an angry missive against God
[+12] u/BahtMann: Dementia Don is going to forget to TACO
[+12] u/Emotional-Bag1398: None of this means anything if you aren't happy
[+12] u/Low_Plastic363: A blockade is typically treated as an act of war, but we'll see.
[+11] u/jernotbroke: he MIGHT be the antichrist
[+11] u/MakeOSUGreatAgain63: Every day that goes by I feel more and more like this life is fake.
How are adults in power doing what they’re doing?
This is all some sick test we’re all stuck in together.
[+10] u/Inevitable_Estate459: Just woke up. Where is the market crash that bears promised me?
[+10] u/LandenCman: I would but I don’t have 100k rn 🫤
[+9] u/TILTING_MOUNTAIN: We're restricting social media for under-aged but really we should be restricting for the over-aged.
[+9] u/LadderAdmirable: Did Japanese discover an oil alternate. Why is Nikkei up on this day lmao
[+8] u/eje0100: If Iran can't close the strait I guess it's Calls.
[+8] u/AdditionalAccount726: Selling everything!!!
[+8] u/jfwelll: I dont want to go to work, tomorrow, or the day after, or any other day
[+8] u/mrgr33n420: Let me guess crude +565.87% , spy -0.02%. Seems about right lately.
[+8] u/broke_person: 🥭 tomorrow before market opens "Strait blockage delay for a week. iran must comply"
Spy +1%
[+8] u/GuyFieriFrostedTips: Coachella was pretty sweet in the 2010s. Seems like absolute garbage now. For once glad I’m getting old…
[+8] u/accountingsavage10: Just 7 more months until midterms, just 7 more months until midterms, just 7 more months until midterms, I can’t take this anymore
[+8] u/PhysInstrumentalist: Might put $5k of my emergency fund into btc soon, no cap
[+8] u/dasboot523: Evangelicals will see that and be like hell yes Mr. 🥭 Then turn around and yell about how Catholics are evil and practice idolatry
[+7] u/Dibble-legend2104: Hey Wsb fam, it’s my birthday already in this thread
[+7] u/AusConsoleGamesLFG: New levels of regardedness never before seen in all history are legitimately getting topped each day at this point
[+7] u/BobsBurners420: Green by open as usual 😞
[+7] u/sal4you: I asked if I can get a discount on the $1.50 Costco hot dog and soda.
Yeah.....things are that bad.
[+7] u/MrBlueEyedFox: People dont get it. The blockade is to block the bears from getting to the market.
[+7] u/SilverPrivateer: US blockade will not charge fees for passage, however, a "protection tax" may apply
[+7] u/Adventurous_Path_625: And because I hold puts
[+6] u/Spezalt4: 🥭tollah vs Pope was not what I expected this year
[+6] u/nooffense2026: Take care of your mental health regards and regardettes. #Bekindtoyourmind
[+6] u/bearhunter429: #For the last 3 hours futes been pinned exactly at 6800. They haven't moved an inch in 3 hours. LMAO🤌
[+6] u/Pikachumon25: I bought calls once after this war started and im fucked, TACO fk you
[+6] u/OathOfRhino: Is black Monday in the room with us right now?
[+6] u/digdugbug: Did he thank Pakistan ??
[+6] u/M18PowerKing: I'm depressed and want to kms...
[+6] u/Far-Information-4765: Entonces bajamos o subimos? Confuso
[+6] u/BepisHasAutism: I GIVE MY LIFE TO PAKISTAAAAN
[+6] u/w33dw1zard420: Gulf of O man what are we doing
[+6] u/Chlo-Motion: I am extremely regarded but holy shit the orange man is on another level of regarded
[+6] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: Nothing tastes better than water when you're thirsty
[+6] u/weewoowewoooo: Oil prices don’t matter anymore. Oil gonna hit $200 and SPY will be at 700 lmfaooooo
[+6] u/Spy300: According to prophecies the Antichrist will claim he is Jesus.
[+6] u/digdugbug: I am fed up of Hormuz and daily uncertainty
[+5] u/Equal_Assistant2897: If I bought nbis at the top I will never forgive myself
[+5] u/AvocadoPurees: Got into a coffee shop at the same time with a 80+ dude today, dude could barely walk and drives a red corvette.
In your face young ones 🫵 , this old guys last identify crisis is worth your entire college debt
[+5] u/OsamaBagHolding: Greta Thunberg seen running the blockade
[+5] u/ContributeAVerse: Remember when all the realtors were saying to date the rate?
[+5] u/spectra444: Goodnight everyone I hope you have good dreams about 500% returns 🫡
[+5] u/Historical_Hunt2492: just for fun on 4:20 lets everybody go withdraw our checking account in cash.
[+5] u/isc1200s: He owes the pope an apology. Just saying.
[+5] u/sal4you: Is silver at $200 yet?
Those YouTube silver stacking regards promised it would be by now.
[+5] u/GuyFieriFrostedTips: What?! Peace talks failed!? SHOCKING
[+5] u/mneymaker: Bears in shambles downvoting every bull comment, rising from the night futes ashes lmao
[+5] u/cruisin_urchin87: Market will be green. Money makers have never actually experienced a financial crisis before.
[+5] u/RevealFit9288: There must be insider information that this is posturing and there’s backchannel negotiation continuing
[+5] u/r_ugly2: We have decided that the best way to reopen the strait is to blockade it.
[+5] u/Maleficent-Couple-76: This conflict is just getting started… yall think this is bad just wait till Paki flips & Turkey invades Israel. Shit will get real
[+5] u/gravedigger997: Easy. Why don't we all fly to the straight and open it ourselves?
[+5] u/Country_Gravy420: So we just stay here for indexes and oil until open?
[+5] u/Vort3x7689: Market crash Tuesday after Dimon spends the whole earnings call talking about the oil shock
[+5] u/Waveytony: But why make models?
[+5] u/Igotyoubaaabe: Poor Bols.. still so full of hope.
[+5] u/Morocier: I'm not buying no dip till it dips under 600 which it probably wont.
[+5] u/Pale-Silver-8178: bers r fked 30 minutes b4 open we will get the 2 week peace deal
just buy calls and hedge with far dated puts.
[+5] u/dunkeater: As a bull I have upgraded my dinner from rice with water to ground beef and potatoes. TBD if I can upgrade again to steak.
[+5] u/Ill-Expression1737: time to fap to the red
[+5] u/Tirikemen: More than they want, less than you think.
[+5] u/Accurate-Flow8078: Probably green by morning just like every other week
[+24] u/UnivalveX: we pumped +9% in two weeks on the fakest of news, but barely able to muster a decent drop after finding out its all bogus
[+17] u/Throwaway18987987: I legitimately cannot believe this is reality
[+15] u/radishr: Calls on Hungary. They decisively gave Hungarian 🥭 the boot.
[+15] u/UnivalveX: we literally had the second worst possible outcome of these talks after guns blazing and we're not even -1% down after a +9% consecutive run lmao
[+12] u/Geese-Howard: Going to be hilarious when Mango TACOs on his own self imposed blockade at 9 AM and that somehow pumps the market
[+12] u/East-Detective6697: he doesn't even need to TACO any more - markets are rising on bad news because they are expecting a TACO, and then rising on even worse new because they are expecting even bigger TACO
[+11] u/Whatevs56: One look at eye liner and Hungary said nope.
[+11] u/rollinhating: Futures -0.6.. Pump 4% on negotiations talk.. -0.6% dump when it fails and relationship worse than before, make it make sense?
[+11] u/AfraidAnalyst: Everyone waiting for that 2am truth TACO or Iranian civilization destruction
[+10] u/soad1331: Remember guys, the market can remain rational as long as you drink solvents.
[+10] u/TouchTipz: I can remain hard longer than she can remain interested
[+10] u/Global-Layer6530: Dude you think China is just gonna let the US hold its tankers going in and out of Iran? No fuckin way. No fuckin way we can just let them pass either. This just got worse.
[+10] u/Apprehensive-Emu6431: market isn't dropping as much as i expected. i guess they know he will chicken out again.
[+10] u/East-Detective6697: so, talks failed miserably, and he's saying Hormuz blockage from 10AM and markets only down 0.8% ? because they are expecting a TACO at 09:55 AM and a rip up +2%
[+10] u/Nagalavonpelt: Even if he tacos 🌮 We are now at a point where we have an oil shortage
You can’t make oil magically appear with a tweet
Mango 🥭 Shit the bed GUH
[+9] u/Quick_Rent_Now: Betting against SPY is like fighting Thanos. All the bad news and threats by Trump only cause a drop of blood.
[+9] u/Micheal_Hancho: Okay, I've decided to give technical analysis a shot. Please let me know if I am doing it correctly.
Blockade starts with a B. Bullish starts with a B.
Blockade has 8 letters + 7 letters for bullish = 15 letters which is divisible by the magic number 3 🪄🎩, and the number 5. High fives are good. 🙌
Mercury in retrograde. 🪐
I drew a monkey on the SPY chart and it looked very cool.
I can only conclude that we will be in an up trend until Sydney Sweeney reaches her next menstrual cycle 🔮
[+8] u/aftherith: Be kinda rad if Barron announced he'd paid off the national debt with insider options bets. All would be forgiven.
[+8] u/slimeystevebob: Sir, a second blockade has hit the strait of Hormuz
[+8] u/Remote_Stage: We are so close to ath, now way we don’t at least make a new high
[+8] u/slimeystevebob: When SPY hits 700, $700 will be worth $550 in 2025 dollars lmao
[+7] u/907cconnak: Turn it off and back on, I want a do over
[+7] u/BeaverSack: Jamstone Vance: open this got damn straight up!
Iran: no
Jamstone Vance: ok 👉🏼👈🏼
[+7] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: #Europoors are gross 🤮
[+7] u/Academic_Lock_1699: Good morning fellow europeans ✌️☕️🥐
[+7] u/SeaofSounds: Welcome to the Donald J Trump Strait of Hormus Toll Booth.....
[+7] u/Infinite-Anybody204: Is the president posting himself as AI Jesus bullish?
[+6] u/highlanderquestion90: all those people who went long expecting a deal by monday and a full on market rally are ready to dump first thing monday morning
it's a helpless feeling being overinvested and optimistic on a weekend where shit falls apart
[+6] u/2Frum4U: The constant fuckery is so exhausting for much of the world, feels we are at a tipping point
[+6] u/Mighty-HeaIthy: Next 🥭 should post a picture of him as Jesus again but parting the blockade at the strait of hummus.
[+6] u/Ceyenne18: Oil +8.5% but futes only -0.8%.
One of them is too optimistic or one of them is too pessimistic.
[+6] u/RoaringPity: What if they block the blockade? And then they block the blockade that’s blocking the blockade?
[+6] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: need to wait 30 mins after market open to blockade ships just to be sure
[+6] u/PositiveEdge4361: So jack daniels vance has returned with absolutely no progress
[+6] u/Raw-Garden: My girl thinks I should stop eating in n out but I’m skinny? I have it every day though
[+6] u/Global-Layer6530: Malcolm in the middle 2 and Scrubs 2 came out and they were as bad as you'd expect
[+6] u/kenathen: 🤣 🤣 🤣. probably the news is "new talk planned", pump spy to ATH
[+6] u/Stack_Johnson: It’s clear reading the comments that anyone left online posting here at this hour is drunk
[+6] u/Soffatjockis: Can someone just, you know, so we can live in peace and prosperity?
Thank you
[+6] u/radishr: Tankers just need to use E-ZPass. Paying Tolls Is a Breeze
[+6] u/iridicpeony: LMAAOOO asia barely moved. no one cares about his threats anymore
[+5] u/Oneok-Field: I'd tell you but you'd just call it manipulation and lose money anyways
[+5] u/Big_Bad_Fish11: dang I was hoping for a big red day tomorrow. futures are barely down.
[+5] u/ProfessorAkaliOnYT: why have we been flat for 4 hours??????????????????????????????????????
[+5] u/UnivalveX: it's all priced in except bogus tweets and "unconfirmed" reports that pump the market +1% instantly
[+5] u/Soffatjockis: 100% green by close.
Mango says the blockade will begin later today, he will taco and market reverse to green and oil below 100 again.
This unpredictable shit has become so predictable
[+5] u/kal14144: New daily thread after only a few minutes?
[+5] u/slimeystevebob: Sir, a second turd has hit your diaper
[+5] u/elpresidentedeljunta: Who else thinks this might end with someone making a small fortune betting there would be a deal which would allow Iran to receive a freighter with supplies for every 10 non Iran linked ships passing the Strait?
[+5] u/myboywears: Bears must have some rare kind of health insurance. How can their asses take this much beating and they keep coming back? Idgi
[+5] u/sjtomcat: SNDK is a generational short
[+5] u/Professional_Con_007: Another no black sunday or Monday sorry bers
[+5] u/thenelston: i genuinely dont even see how this market can go down anymore
[+5] u/Junkingfool: So MSFT has a chance this week??? 675???? Hallelujah, Amen!
[+5] u/Sweaty-Sherbet-6926: Is the market pricing in Trump getting thrown out of a helicopter?
[+5] u/doobiedoop5132: I’m in 710 SPY C 01/2027. I should be good… right?
[+5] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: we live in a simulation
[+5] u/Throwawayz911: Price is so artificial looking how its just pinning itself after every move. Eerie.
[+5] u/thornCircuit: Prediction:
The 10am blockade event is cover for attempt #2 at retrieving uranium. An excuse to get assets closer
Or its a taco
Def not gonna be a blockade though
[+5] u/ArcDogRob: Posting ur more pope than the Pope is some real cult shit. Market will still pump on his false prophet prooganda crap tho
[+5] u/calmoney149: Red Monday finish the week Green!
[+5] u/ClarkFable: So tango’s best move is the ol “no, I dumped you first” approach—and hoping he can Bugs Bunny Iran into opening the straight?
[+5] u/TJMBeav: I said day 1 that the air raids would end with a whimper. The war is essentially over as far as the overall markets are concerned. Its earnings now
Don't make me tell you again
[+5] u/Neither-Maybe-3493: so we got Elon tweeting about Rhodesia now?
[+5] u/Jacobpapi: Is this market healthy with all this ~~manipulation~~ irrationality or is something big about to happen?
[+5] u/lebronkahn: How fucked are the bulls tomorrow morning?
[+5] u/blemdemman: bro went after the pope, can’t even make this shit up
[+5] u/Strangerdanger8812: Watching love on the spectrum with my 13 yr old that is autistic...
[+5] u/baadllama_ghost: green by open
yes, even with the "blockade"
bears butthurt and crying
[+5] u/kvndoom: In soviet America, coal rolls *you*
[+18] u/Admirable_Heart_271: Yo why blockade at 10AM? So he can TACO the retail who goes short at open lol?
[+17] u/Majestic-Bedroom6783: Look what pedo fucktard did to the markets again...
[+15] u/SxeySteve: Have you heard any legitimate bullish news in the last 6 weeks?
[+13] u/ohshitski: “You’re gambling with WW3”- 🥭 was really ahead of his time
[+13] u/Hairy-Literature8672: 🥭 wants to fuck your options. Buy and hold stocks long term and he can't win. Or, continue your short term plays, but stop bitchin when you get fucked coz the market doesn't do what you think it should do.
[+12] u/MelonBeefChop: TACO = Sell SPY after the pump & buy USO to prepare for the TACO reversal
TACO reversal = Sell USO after the pump & buy SPY to prepare for the next TACO moment
Rinse and repeat x10 free money generator
[+12] u/Few-Quiet-283: Why does everything he does always have such a specific start time
[+11] u/mingesniffa6969: Who gives a fuck if he closes that bussy and then opens it if the pope is not STRONG ON CRIME
[+11] u/MLGLies: I wash sale'd myself into a $220k tax bill on $100k of capital gains... I am so unbelievably fucking stupid.
[+11] u/rand_walking_charts: So war and oil crisis of course bullish 😂
[+10] u/Fast_Garlic_5639: So lemme get this straight- literally everyone expects taco, and also the price hasn’t dumped yet? That means no taco and a dump after 30 minutes of selling calls to retail.
[+9] u/dawood_akh7888: Successfully bet on Karol G to open her coachella with latina foreva. Lowkey wondering what I’m even doing with my life
[+9] u/Additional_Diver584: 10 AM after the stock market opens may be the most diabolical timing of a Middle Eastern naval blockade. Announced in eastern time too lmao
[+9] u/onomatopoeiababy: Who is Hormuz and why is the world talking about him being straight
[+9] u/would-rather-read: the blockade will stay in place until iran hits a ship and then wars back
[+9] u/Long_Exchange_7347: Stop recovering for the love of fuckin Hormuz
[+9] u/XTotallyDifferentGuy: Way too bullish in here and I'm soooo relieved. My puts are actually going to print in the morning.
[+9] u/llasar17: Everything reminds me of her
[+8] u/Cabbage854: Roman Emperor Diocletian (ruled 284–305 AD) famously abdicated voluntarily to grow cabbages in his Dalmatian palace (now Split, Croatia). When asked to return to politics, he reportedly replied that if one could see the vegetables he grew, they would never ask him to rule again.
[+8] u/Dude_with_Dollas: Didn’t the mad man say the US should be taking tolls with Iran for passage through the strait not too long ago, now he’s saying that’s extortion? Someone call Guinness, we just found the world’s largest waffle 🧇
[+8] u/qrqrafafzvzv: We got tariffs. We got oil blockage. The only thing that moves the market now is Israel's next move.
[+8] u/FullCopy: Oil prices will stay elevated through the midterm.
- 🥭
[+8] u/PyloPower: JUST PUT THE SHIPS IN THE HORMUZ BRO!!
[+8] u/yeppbrep: I’ve invested the entirety of my grandfather’s inheritance into Pinto Bean futures
My portfolio will survive the war
[+8] u/Ferret_Rough: -.5% after a 5% runup loooool
[+8] u/Jebusfreek666: Eventually (maybe this week) everyone is going to get screwed. Even mainstream media is reporting on TACO investing strategy at this point. This will become the boy who cried wolf eventually. We are dipping less and less each time he says something because he has lost so much credibility. Eventually he will say something provocative and no one will listen or react. That is exactly when he will actually follow through and the markets will drop like 5% overnight.
[+8] u/BeepBoopDep: That's it bears? After all the circle jerk?
[+7] u/Competitive_Ride: Maybe he’s secretly a just stop oil member
[+7] u/Shurlak: 0.7?! Seriously that's it? Green by open
[+7] u/SKJ_2012: Literally nothing makes sense
[+7] u/Difficult-Branch8184: All time hiiiiiiiiigh
[+6] u/tinydisaster: The censorship across a bunch of subs is getting frustrating.
[+6] u/Arcisi: Hasn't dumped enough for me yet to go back into calls.
[+6] u/Pessimistic93: Quick glance at the comments here say fake dip, calls...so...puts.
[+6] u/AlphaHarmony: is there something bullish about the news or we just bouncing?
[+6] u/Necessary_Reaction62: Damn 4 wins 43 losses
[+6] u/Routine-Agent-160: Even as a life long bear, I think that markets will melt up tomorrow. So I’d not short if I were you.
[+5] u/Everyday_gilbert: Mf the market ain’t even open yet 💀
[+5] u/CheeseEveryMeal: Fire Justin Bieber into the Sun.
[+5] u/_rockthemike: I’m not even gonna get my dip for a bullish entry wtf
[+5] u/wattap: Which member of the mango admin made himself a liar by writing “the greatest stock market in history” in that truth the other day
[+5] u/Jebusfreek666: Just wait until the Houthis in Yemen jump on board and shut down Bab el-Mandeb. I think they make their move before the end of the week. Probably Wednesday.
[+5] u/skychief99: Have you seen the picture Orange Julius posted of himself on Trust Social dressed like Jesus healing people?
"Holy Shit"
[+5] u/Happy-Philosophy9211: They pumped the markets last week enough to have it crash this week.
Towards the end of this week Pakistan will come and say that they have started another round of peace talks
[+5] u/Polysorbate800: The Wendy’s store manager is WEAK ON CRIME
[+5] u/diefy7321: ##still waiting for “boots on the ground” LMAO
[+5] u/timetopractice: You also must not have a portfolio
[+5] u/Weekly_One8412: it will be interesting to see how premarket reacts
[+5] u/One_Confidence_7069: Could you imagine how bad her laugh would have been while she threatened to blockade though? Ugh, gives me the willies
[+5] u/NaluknengBalong_0918: Because his colorful coats shine well in studio 💃💃💃🤣
[+22] u/EpiphyticOrchid8927: Send me to fucking tehran i am ready
[+20] u/zeren1ty: inb4 🥭 tweet 1 hour before market open along the lines of:
“I have decided, after having very productive talks with the Iranians, not to blockade the strait and to continue working on a deal with them which, many are saying, will be the greatest of all time. I AM NOW GRANTING FREE PASSAGE FOR ALL SHIPS THROUGH THE STRAIT. IT IS WIDE OPEN! DJT”
Avoids a market crash and actually goes a little green, even though NOTHING has changed. This is the idiocy of the times we live in.
[+17] u/ZeroSumTruths: Trump posting himself as Jesus and lashing out at the Pope on the same day is peak Christian behavior
[+16] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: Only people up right now are on drugs
[+15] u/BoostMobileGuy: 🥭 still shit posting it’s almost 3 am for him
[+15] u/Philthatman: The markets have found convergent evolution and turned into a fucking crab 📉📈📉📈📉📈
[+13] u/Les7X: 🥭 & co. officially broke the casino, absolutely zero sense left
[+13] u/D3AtHpAcIt0: the strait closing is a negative event, when we close it twice it makes a positive event! They teach u that in quant school, SPY to 700
[+13] u/bronfmanhigh: fuck this im just gonna go to the actual casino and put it all on red
[+12] u/puts_every_day: What would even be the taco this time? Him ublocking the strait?
I think he worked himself in a corner where he can't really taco anymore in a meaningful way.
[+12] u/Admirable-Shop5407: Thinking out loud here but if 🥭 always 🌮’s due to equities falling, won’t he interpret them NOT falling as like assurance for his regarded choices?
[+11] u/Ok-Session6679: How TF is oil not up more 🧨🧨🧨🧨🧨🧨😡😡
[+11] u/Wishforgains: Market is fake and gay if no crash happens
[+10] u/MrNewking: I called a plumber for a blocked up toilet. He is currently standing in the doorway stopping anyone going in or out. Art of the deal he says.
[+10] u/svpa3991: Futes are not what I saw 6 hrs ago 🙄
[+10] u/smellyfingernail: going through this thread systematically downvoting everyone typing in all bold
[+9] u/victoryboiiTCG: This shit is recovering and this is before the inevitable “ negotiations back on, sending Marco to Islamabad instead of the eunuch this time,” Trump tweet.
[+9] u/Desertbears: I can't believe how I have to be competent at my job for a sliver and these bafoons in power just fuck around
[+9] u/IndividualNo7155: Had my coffee and now I’m pooping
[+9] u/Mikekio: Fakest recovery of all time
[+8] u/Willing_Spring2736: Just want someone to ask Donnie if he can point to Iran on a map and just see his reaction.
[+8] u/100xOrBust: It’s bullish because it’s just a blockade and not bridges and power plants and civilians
[+8] u/Fancy_Rice_2799: Didnt US and EU make a trade deal? When I try to order from [amazon.com](http://amazon.com) I still get slapped with import charges?
[+8] u/Urzuck: Seems like it wil be ultragay
[+8] u/deevee12: JD going around the world fucking everything up like a reverse Forrest Gump is the funniest recurring theme of this admin
[+8] u/Jazari1: like it didint work for past 3 weeks?
[+7] u/Cymraegpunk: The market will remain irrational longer than the American government will stay solvent
[+7] u/SolomonKings7: Everyone will forget about Hormuz and Oil related news due to Meme7 earnings. Google and MemeVDA pump will turn stonks back to ATH
[+7] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: The markets probably priced in the midterms in the last 2 weeks.
Markets priced in orango 25th or impeachment.
[+7] u/FinePerformance1046: The market is pricing in rational economic factors, also known as “🌮”
[+6] u/ManyHead6662: full panic sets in at 10 am
[+6] u/dontslambro: He thinks the Pope is there because of him.
[+6] u/Co_OpQuestions: BREAKING: DONALD TRUMP TO SAVE ALL CALLS MONDAY AFTERNOON
[+6] u/MarienBean: Market will for sure go down until TACO, but TACO will not work this time.
[+6] u/cactideas: Blockading a blockade is a double negative meaning a positive. So this is good right?
[+6] u/Wrath_FMA: I pray we open right here, any price above 671.5 will be some of the easiest 0dte puts I've ever bought, baring a premarket 🌮
[+6] u/No-Improvement3164: Eventually this nonsense is going to show up in earnings and guidance. No?
[+5] u/PossibleLack835: SHORT MSFT. ABSOLUTE GARBAGE, WILL DROP EVEN IF MARKET GOES UP. SHORT SHORT SHORT
[+5] u/plzplzplztendies: A lot of you guys eat snickers for the vein, and it shows.
[+5] u/jayxmor: Someone’s gonna gamble their entire port at open and completely lose it LMAO
[+5] u/aa73gc: If this v's today i give up lol
[+5] u/bhaaaaaaa: You will live this life over and over again for eternity
[+5] u/gul_bil: Spring is here, go for a walk somewhere green and get some sunshine, nice hack for tricking the body into thinking things are going well. Things will be better
[+5] u/Moped_Thief: I miss those days last year where RDDT would pump 10% for no reason.
[+5] u/Top_Poetry_8226: Not sure what I'm going to do, but you can bet it will be highly regarded.
[+5] u/Jagged_Tide: So we’re all on the same page, someone rhyming with Darron got oil futures to unload before 10 AM. If you aren’t buying then selling by exactly 10 AM I really don’t know what to tell you, he couldn’t spell it out more if he tried.
[+5] u/Philthatman: The market is going to tank so i can buy calls and pump so i can buy more calls
[+5] u/Fast-Steak-7730: I’m selling puts tmrw for calls
[+5] u/Party-Started: Fake ceasefire that failed in the first hour - Up 3%
Straight still closed, negotiations fail, USA blocks the rest of straight - Down 0.57%
This makes sense
[+5] u/YeahPlayaaaaa: One day this Iran timeline is gonna be one of the dumbest movies you've ever seen
[+5] u/justanaveragejoe520: Algos must have only been trained on the 🌮 trade
[+5] u/AngusMcTibbins: Shrek's boner can't pass through the strait.
[+5] u/GrandKnew: riding the bus at night is harrowing. everyone is either gay or disabled
[+5] u/Legitimate_Cable_811: son of a bitch, I don't think we dumped enough for him to step in and do his manipulation...
[+5] u/FloppyButtholeJelly: Everything’s computer
[+5] u/Advanced_Divide_4641: Are the unredacted files in the Vatican archive
[+5] u/No_Lobster_1102: Sadly it’s opening green. TACO and all
[+5] u/tessie_trades: Spy is determined not to move . Recovered so fast . 💨. Not convinced we dropping significantly tomorrow. Who knows about Tuesday though
[+5] u/tombrady011235: I ride a bike so fuck you and your gas prices
[+5] u/LeDoohickey: Y’all ready to pay taxes on all the money 🥭 just stole from you?
[+5] u/Aggressive-Use3331: sigh, it sadly has to be said over and over again: population growth is a big driver of economic growth because it increases consumption and legal migration generates more tax revenue. Furthermore, the social sector in general benefits from an increase of the working age population because the Old-Age Dependency Ratio improves. it's not like there are any alternatives to this system
[+5] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: remember when they said spy has an annual return of 10%? lmao, good days
[+5] u/Aware-Industry4746: Someone give me a 10 bagger play
[+5] u/myjumboloanapp: We are doing the war because they closed the strait so we’re going to retaliate by closing the strait ourselves
[+5] u/hermeskino715: Idk how in the hell SPY thinks everything is fine and dandy
And why isn't oil making new highs with both countries cockblocking one another?
[+18] u/DifficultGarlic6: Rather be poor than an insulin resistant amerifat.
[+14] u/Equivalent_Fly_5559: Nasdaq barely off all time highs, oil still 15pct lower than the highs. Because Taco priced in. But he ain’t going to Taco until markets go bad. The expectation of Taco is actually making a Taco less likely……Irony
[+12] u/thethrifter: At market close on friday, i bought SPY 679 put expiring monday. I was jacked when I saw the blockade on the blockade as I thought we might see 2% red at open
Now futes are nothing burger with 0.54% down
Im not a ghey ber generally, but we are due for a drawdown which most of us will probably miss unless you have the inside scoop.
Be safe fam, only buy lotto tickets you can afford to lose.
[+11] u/Karl-Levin: Oil still lower than before the fake ceasefire despite another week of strait being blocked
Market keeps being delulu
[+10] u/Bichael-Murry: bol is very cocky this fine morning....
[+10] u/astrawberryandakiwi: Wow, futes opened down 2% and now they’re only down .5%.
Absolutely fucking ridiculous. I don’t understand this market
[+9] u/Fast_Signature7684: bears happy for a -0,6% after +8,5% in 2 weeks lol
[+9] u/Im_A_New_Reddit_User: Is it me or does the sick man in the photo look like saylor? Is he hinting something about btc? 🤔
[+8] u/Moepenmoes: Good morning cash gang
[+8] u/Loperenco: One of most, if not most, important straits for oil is blocked and the oil barely moves up 7%, this is fucking joke
[+8] u/trust_it_bb: Bulls and bears fighting to death while theta gang yielding 10% a week since the start of the war, finally able to get boners for the first time since 2022.
[+7] u/HeavyArmsJin: Calls or Puts
https://preview.redd.it/5ojs7e3u1xug1.jpeg?width=1206&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=abbf481e9c3a2ca000ca225b54bfe4858dd29edc
[+7] u/LasyKuuga: >Double blockade only down 0.5%
Ok SPY
[+7] u/AllianceOrTheHorde: The US currently is like a crackhead, whose drug dealer tripped over a cat and fell down a bottomless pit, and since they didn't have an alternate drug dealer, they're having the most insane withdrawal symptoms and taking it out on themselves and the world
[+7] u/I_am_Nerman: UNIFIED COMMAND OF IRANIAN ARMED FORCES SPOKESPERSON SAYS US RESTRICTIONS ON VESSELS IN INTERNATIONAL WATERS IS 'ILLEGAL AND AND CONSTITUTES PIRACY'
Lol these f'n guys
[+6] u/nesnayu: You bers are WRONG, GAY, and POOOOR
SOURCE:; am wrong gay poor ber
[+6] u/Elforas_Tero: We should blockade the bers. Or use them as minesweepers
[+6] u/Every_Recover_1766: Mods sleep, post j pow
[+6] u/lvl13rgftw: “HOW CAN SHE PUMPP??” Bearius The Great watching PLTR premarket
[+6] u/Inner-Cobbler-2432: Sold puts from last week with +30%, should have been +300% regarding this situation, but unfortunately, market is rather retarding the situation.
[+6] u/maldinisnesta: We're all going to die screaming.
[+6] u/dreamer_Neet: Its taco taco taco monday
[+6] u/Aggravating_Mix_5737: But little did they know. The nuclear war was actually priced in…
[+5] u/BEAR_STEARNS_CEO: He's obviously trading in the Zimbabwe market dumbass
[+5] u/Aware_Secret_8910: As a bear it doesn't make sense anymore to try to play around with SPY, if the market would go down they'll just devalue the dollar. Legit can't win. Probably europoor indexes are more reasonable
[+5] u/TropicalOinkment: Mango weekend truths hit like a "this is a message from our sponsors" section
[+5] u/wenxuan2: Market is not dumping as much as i thought it would lol. So i guess we are back to pumping
[+5] u/Moepenmoes: I need to do the opposite of what Trump, Cramer and this sub do together
[+5] u/Purple-Image9960: What is this a crash for ants?!
[+5] u/cancelingchris: believe it or not, calls
[+5] u/EarthquakeCrater: Hey Crusades “hold my beer”
[+5] u/Molten-Helldiver: Somehow SPY is crawling up, very boring like, let’s see some crazy shit up or down
[+5] u/Magicballs5: No. Just on our phones now
[+5] u/lvl13rgftw: ITS SO OBVIOUS 🥭 IS GOING TO GIVE A DEFENSE CONTRACT TO PLTR!!! Moon
[+16] u/Knarre30: Market is unbelievable calm. At this point there is nothing anyone on earth cpuld do that would prevent the shortage of oil that some countries or industries will face. Its pure madness that we are still on the same levels than before this war started
[+12] u/Canadianinvestor1997: Wtf is this. Last night down 2% and now 0.7%. The fack
[+11] u/music_is_gud: Creates a product called Metaverse, renames the entire company around it and then abandons the product altogether, refuses to elaborate and leaves.
META 500P 6/16
[+10] u/RockasaurusRex: Mom said it was my turn to blockade.
[+8] u/thec4nman: I hate PLTR more than any other stock, seriously
[+8] u/gorilla148: I’m fucking ready just send me to fucking Tehran already
[+8] u/SoloOutdoor: Im voting against every sitting member this fall
[+7] u/habfranco: obviously markets are expecting a TACO
[+7] u/Comfortable-Sky7801: Market huffing hopium hoping for a TACO before 10 AM ET 🫡
[+7] u/Cheeseheroplopcake: Bol euphoria in premarket?
Never seen this one. I'm sure it ends well.
[+7] u/Bill-Imaginary: oil at $120 a barrel and qqq approaching ATH again. this is fine
[+7] u/infinitewaters107: I remember that time when I lost 20k on a trade because I was sitting on the toilet watching Attack on Titan, and I completely missed the tariff announcement that wiped out my positions (I was going to sell but waited two more episodes).
[+7] u/Cloudbase_academy: When the rug finally gets pulled on this market there will be seriously unprecedented wealth destruction. Large institutions have been treating SPY like a risk-free asset for years, but stocks aren't risk free assets.
[+7] u/Local_Serve_3969: Bears dont understand that Hormuz blockade is already riced in. Calls it is!
[+7] u/UsernameTaken_123: 4 hours and 30 minutes until some random animal is fuk
[+6] u/davidbigham: By this rate, market probably will be green at open 😂
[+6] u/patricktu1258: I don’t want to sound smart and lose money. I want to sound dumb and make money.
[+6] u/beachsandwichen: Ppl saying oh the market won’t crash because we know a knew fed chair is coming that will cut rates or it won’t crash because all the money on the sidelines waiting to pounce and shit like that are really pissing me off
[+6] u/MordorBlues: Copium must be on sale this morning.
[+6] u/MrUnbekanntovic: Just dreamt my crush kissing some random dude, now i can’t sleep anymore 🤡
[+6] u/Brilliant_Object_847: Some of you people seem to have forgotten that a lot of settlers in America where forced to leave Europe for being too religious, IN THE 17TH CENTURY LMAO
[+5] u/MadSkyGlider: Blockaded on block so that’s a W!?!
[+5] u/ShittyUsernane1222: 🥭 TACOs only if US stocks and bonds shit themselves, else 🥭 doubles down on his regarded choices.
[+5] u/Due-Information-6277: Who ever decided we can only order eggs or “breakfast foods” In the morning are idiots..
[+5] u/nthnreallymatters: how do you deal with watching a trade keep going up after you sell?
i hate roundtripping and force myself to take profits but it also hurts to watch it keep going up :(
[+5] u/InIce1234: **P** = Puts
**L** = Look
**T** = Totally
**R** = Rekt
[+5] u/Nice-Truck8806: quick redditsisters spam more iranian propaganda or my puts are 🍳
[+5] u/buybananas: Forget about Iran, the real bloodbath risk is TSM earnings and guidance
[+5] u/cream_cheese_tits: believe it or not puts
[+5] u/Think_Currency_8586: Prolly buy a bunch of Microsoft and hope for the best
[+5] u/SeaweedLeft9746: How long until 🥭 pulls the mask off and posts an AI picture of himself as Satan?
[+5] u/livingiice: Im a ber at heart, but I gotta say, bers not gonna eat for a while.
[+26] u/Anonymustafar: How the fuck are we only down 0.5% what absolute bullshit
[+16] u/Groundbreaking-Gap20: https://preview.redd.it/ud8uhw1ejxug1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=4ca0cda67bf12ee350f826b91bb5323039eba3e9
[+15] u/Standard-Top-5942: Daily reminder that none of this is even close to normal
[+15] u/Imaginary_String_814: Praising Allah while critiquing the actual pope who calls for peace is very Christian of 🥭
[+15] u/Sparrow_Wilson: The market wasn't looking too great a month ago anyway and then a war broke our which fucked the global supply of oil, gas and fertiliser with no obvious resolution in sight. And the Nasdaq is still at the same level? What?
[+14] u/BigBattyFatty: My broker is days away from developing a nuclear weapon.
[+12] u/Rocky_The_Champion: Oil can go to 200 and stonks going up
[+12] u/Impressive-Name5129: Don't worry oil is only up 8%
It should be 16%
[+12] u/ZaraBloom418: I have been covering for someone at work for 3 weeks now and it’s finally breaking down to where I’m coming in 5:30am and still unable to keep up.
I sent an email April 1st asking what the plan what’s but no response.
I have epilepsy and had a seizure from the stress, and now I am not going in today. I love my job, but they push me too hard lately
[+11] u/Fhyzikz: 27 nukes could go off simultaneously and SPY would be -.82%
[+11] u/Blyrone__Blashinton: The shit hasn’t hit the fan yet, which is why the market is doing just fine. 🌮 is definitely priced in at this point, but the massive oil problem on the horizon is not, which is why the oil futures are not remotely close to the true price of a barrel of oil. I hope yall make as much as you can because if this isn’t resolved in a week we’re all gonna be a proper poor.
[+8] u/sadguy__: As always, wsb will become exit liquidity 🤣🤝🏼
[+8] u/Neat-Concentrate-239: Did the Iranian delegation even say thank you?
[+8] u/geddyclaus: I know about 🌮, but what is TOFU?
[+7] u/Standard-Top-5942: If calling the pope evil and posting a picture of yourself as Christ doesn't bother evangelicals, literally nothing will
[+7] u/piszczel: Massive global news and the market couldn't be more boring. What are these petty 1% swings here and there
[+7] u/Roxorek: govt running 6-7% budget deficit - so liquidity is massive. Keep living at the expense of future generations so kids will never be able to afford housing unless their parents are wealthy.
Sp500 cant go down much with 6-7% deficit (stimulus) even with oil at $100+
The whole system is a joke, UP only.
123% debt to GDP.
[+7] u/Unlucky252: Black Monday was promised 3000 years ago
[+7] u/WALLstreet_1111: Just bought 1,200 $PLTR.🚀
May God be with me
[+7] u/StonksInvesteur: “We might have good deals with Iran. Blockage is delayed for 2 more weeks”
[+7] u/Icy_Jelly_315: I would pay to watch 🌮 being exorcised
[+6] u/AggieDem: Steamboat captains in shambles.
[+6] u/FabulousLanguage6216: Imagine not buying PLTR calls on Friday 🤌
Now imagine that some regards bought PUTS 🤌🤌🤌🤌
[+6] u/tryingtohitchall: I swear to god, my calls were at 0% i put on some jewish music (im an antisemite) and suddenly theyre up 15% in 2mins
[+6] u/Diamond-Solo: I was promised canyons and i'm given pinholes.
[+6] u/Capt_Chickenpox: Yeah, what are they gonna do? Shoot at a civilian ship and start another war?
[+6] u/nadoterisback: good morning
bull is fuck
[+6] u/TreGet234: Dax also only doen 1%. Either nothing burger or wile e coyote floating in midair before plunging down.
[+6] u/lmfaonoobs: We're blocking the strait that we totally don't need which Iran closed because we bombed them for nuclear material that we already destroyed 6 months ago. Keep up
[+5] u/UnitedCup1814: What happens when China and Russian tankers say get the fuck out of my way. Low IQ plan right there
[+5] u/tellit11: A lot of pained retards in here lately. Simple advice even a retard can follow: don’t hold short term levered risk over the weekend. You know why? Cause it’s fucking retarded.
[+5] u/Locke_____Lamora: You better have a cushion on the toilet if you're there that long Jesus
[+5] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: The best of the best of wsb analysts are monitoring the situation it will be ok
[+5] u/Still-One-1665: Going to bed. Expect to wake up to a Green Market and some bullshit
[+5] u/Phantom01001: MY BEAUTIFUL MONEY WTF
[+5] u/No-Relationship8261: Bers are coping so hard, today will be flat and - 1% at most
[+5] u/Dorkasteri: Next up, 🥭 vs Vatican. The Pope should just keep up on annoying 🥭. I want to see this crashout.
[+5] u/Standard-Top-5942: So we're like blocking the strait as a courtesy to Iran now? So they don't have to use drones and mines anymore? That's nice of us. Wait, what even are our objectives at this point? ps: Praise Allah and thank you for your attention.
[+5] u/imunfair: One is a commodity, the other is an index that functions on the greater fool theory.
[+5] u/Jadeclone1: Waiting for taco tuesday
[+5] u/NapNapNapNap: I’m so stressed out.
[+5] u/Technical_Scallion_2: Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like 🌮 announced the blockade 30 min after open specifically to allow big money to load up on puts/shorts at open before dropping the hammer. So nobody’s touching premarket and retail is gradually pushing things up overnight.
Maybe 10am will come and go with nothing changing, but my gut says shit is going to hit the fan at 10am. The blockade will include some kind of attack from one side or the other that will rapidly escalate.
[+5] u/EasySunday: When is the ceasefire officially over, next Wednesday?
[+19] u/mklomp7: SPY 🟢 MSFT 🔴
SPY 🔴 MSFT 🔴🔴
[+16] u/Lizard798658866: Orange has been up all night posting, so you know he's going to be unhinged later today.
[+15] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: 🥭 has successfully found a way to continuously milk this scam market. It's impressive in a clown world kinda way.
[+13] u/Red_Zone_Broly: #Wait a minute, is 🥭's idea to blockade the Strait and then end the blockade to pump the markets?
#It’s so stupid that it might just work
[+13] u/wright_on_: I am also blockading the strait
[+12] u/Unhappy-Ad-2609: I'm closely monitoring the situation. Thank you for your attention to this matter
[+12] u/puffinnbluffin: I bought two beagle puppies for my daughter and now I want to jump off a fucking cliff wtf was I thinking
[+8] u/Fernyfern7: To bearish in here green as fuck today
[+8] u/PikerTraders: I see people are front running the front running now. I’m guessing they know at 8;45 he will announce the blockcade will not happen
[+8] u/cryptohomunculus: SPY IS DOWN
DOMINOS PIZZA (DPZ) IS STABLE
IS THIS BULLISH FOR THE CIA?
[+8] u/GoogleKushforLunch: Aww yes this going back green
[+8] u/RomanJohnWick: Markets will be regarded longer than you can remain solvent
[+8] u/Independent-Tree-985: i was promised blood in the sheets and cum in the streets
what happened
[+8] u/Solid_Direction_8929: I'm blockading all bers today!!!
[+8] u/elegance78: That's the neat bit, you won't...
[+7] u/ramy_mousa: A reminder that PLTR can go to $80 and still be ridiculously expensive
[+7] u/mks_csw: man id love to yolo in some puts but it takes only one mango tweet to send this bih to a new ath, so might have to be brave and sit it out
[+7] u/ateranol: So now that we have 2 blockades going on in Hormuz, is it like the "one cancels out the other" type of situation or what? Excuse my ignorance, I have still not read The Art of the Deal.
[+6] u/FatFluffyFish: Down pre market, pump at open as was foretold
[+6] u/MissMatriarch: Did the market pump on the sole fact that 🥭 woke up this morning?
[+6] u/kingkongsdingdong420: Lol ber will never learn. Hormuz double blockade means 2x blockades lifted when they negotiate peace. 2x blockade lifted means 2x oil and there will be so much oil like you've never seen before. Mountains and mountains of so much oil
[+6] u/marawki: Market proving that any bad news is -0.5% while any gimpse of minor hope is +2%
[+6] u/netflix-ceo: I guess market is pricing in a taco before 10AM, which is ridiculous imo, but given the past behaviour there is a very high possibility of a taco
[+6] u/0xBorisjohnson: Everyone has decided taco is going to pre-taco cause his last taco was a super good taco and now the markets are addicted to tacos
[+6] u/LavishnessTimely7372: It might get worse before it gets better
[+6] u/RevolutionaryPhoto24: enjoying “the Greatest Stock Market in History…”
[+6] u/_JeManquedHygiene_: He said no creeps around.
[+5] u/RunesDubloons: "its funny that...." but you didnt laugh 💀
[+5] u/palmanul: Taco said other contries would help the blockade but it seems nobody's helping
[+5] u/IRunFast24: Over the weekend, this sub had me thinking SPY would see 590 by noon today.
[+5] u/stupidber: Who runs the world? Bols
[+5] u/Baterick-Patman_: Israel ground ops in Lebanon extended
[+5] u/RegentLTD: Bolls trying to rebuild their civilization in the pre-market era
[+5] u/vandalofnation: There is this bull porn going around that all oil from hormuz is now going via pipelines in saudia arabia and uae.
Sure, thats why physical is trading at $140. Because hormuz has been bypassed.
[+5] u/Ok-Thought-9960: Well then find a campground that screens out "creeps" like they sre everywhere. Malls, driving, at restraunts, if you stop trying things because the chance a "creep" might be there then ur activities are gonna be limited bc they are everywhere, got one leading the usa right now