[+9] u/2020isgreat: wait were apple earnings straight up leaked lmfao
[+7] u/2020isgreat: HOLY FUCK GOOGLE BROKE 10%
[+7] u/xXFoxyGrandpaXx: I fully expect RDDT to destroy earnings on every front, which in turn will cause a 15% drop
[+6] u/PristineDiscount3208: AAPL diving before earnings report - someone got an advance copy
[+6] u/Ryu6912: 1 minute until my $2500 of OTM 1DTE calls on RDDT get obliterated
[+6] u/vermilli21: That manipulation on AAPL is fucking weird and I'm dipping from this earnings play GL
[+6] u/chainerection: Is Aapl cooking or cooked?
[+6] u/Glum-Pen6973: Never ever ever buy SPY puts
[+5] u/Valkorion335786: Holding INTC calls overnight
Do your thing, orange man
[+5] u/mixtape312: Algos programmed to buy to infinity
[+5] u/Numerous_Put4717: who has them Sandisk nuts?
[+5] u/RoyalFail6: Last minute to either make the greatest decision of your life or the worst 😤
[+5] u/awetfartruinedmylife: I lose most of my days on this stupid website, so I decided to lose my money on it as well
[+5] u/ExpressEngineering83: Fake meat earnings 5/6. It must gain regard strength.
[+5] u/RoyalFail6: I’m crying in the casino - RDDT tanked 😭 (sorry, just practicing for AH)
[+84] u/GoZukkYourself: RDDT announces the opening of 2 dozen more Hentai porn subs
🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
[+71] u/Send_Lawyers: https://preview.redd.it/97i4ah87wdyg1.jpeg?width=1320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd4b91e182f1c0e512e0a7d04f894e250a60059c
Oil and spy all time high’s happy Thursday retards.
[+70] u/ajs723: "Stocks Rally as Mag 7 Results Lift AI Hopes"
Nvidia down 4.5%
Meta down 8.5%
Microsoft down 4%
Sure, mmm hmm.
[+54] u/Jesus-Musk: Mother of God, I made 450k today
[+39] u/JessKingHangers: I have RDDT Puts and SNDK Calls.....
You cant make this shit up
[+39] u/Ok-Piano8789: RDDT gained 6 trillion new teenager indian users w/ a combined net worth lower than mine gr8 ad roi
[+24] u/Gloomy_Necesary: Lol reddit back down to +1% from +8%
[+24] u/Weak_Emu3659: Cried in an empty parking lot last night before going home from work.
[+23] u/Stunning-Dig-8916: SANDICK ABOUT TO LOSE $1000 after beating EPS by 60%
[+22] u/Liplok: Reddit gonna open with sideways chop because a 100% beat on their estimated eps wasn’t good enough apparently
[+21] u/FartSniffer66642069: Wtf why is SNDK tanking after they crushed earnings? None of this makes any sense. This is going to be the 5th time in a row of loosing SNDK plays for me. No matter which way I bet on it just goes hard in the opposite direction. Is the universe actually centered around me where im not allowed to win or is this market just a complete scam.
[+20] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Market: Best month since 2020
My portfolio: Worst month since last month
[+20] u/guhhhh_MU: you sit on reddit all day, some of you leave hundreds of comments, and you don't buy reddit calls
[+19] u/Kickboy21: RDDT FUCKING PUMPING LETS FUCKING GO BABY
[+19] u/dljmonkeyboiz: r/latinas is 95% of RDDT's value
[+18] u/Jagged_Tide: Tim Apple you had 1 fucking job… and now you have none
[+18] u/Beercules1993: Our ancestors had to risk their lives just to find food and water and we are trying to get rich pushing a few buttons while taking a shit LMAO🤌
[+17] u/GoZukkYourself: #BREAKING: RDDT FALLS AS THEY REFUSE TO BRING BACK CUSTOM EMOJIS
[+17] u/lax_street: RDDT is about to be up 25-30% tomorrow. 69% revenue growth is kinda crazy.
[+17] u/cramers_asshole: I got cleaned out its not even funny…
[+17] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: Made $7400 today, not front page worthy but a great break from a bad streak for me
[+16] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: # SNDK was in the 600s a month ago and you’re complaining LMAO💀🤌
[+16] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: If you put $1000 into NVDA October 27 2025 you would have $1000
[+15] u/the_mind_goblin1: idk how the fuck these companies are beating and raising when i feel like the average american is poor as shit lmao, they are just manifesting money. or maybe we're poor because we give all our money to these people
[+15] u/ten7four: > I took the Exam three times during my (“THREE!”) Terms as President, and ACED IT ALL THREE TIMES — An Achievement that, even on a single Exam, according to the Doctors, has rarely been done before!
Wtf is he talking about lol
[+15] u/ANightSentinel: All aboard the RDDT rocket back to $200!
[+15] u/DrummerCompetitive20: How is rddt not up 20% rn?? Lol
[+15] u/jerome-yellen: BREAKING: The S&P 500 officially posts its highest close on record, now up +14.2% since the March 30th low.
That's +$8.1 TRILLION in market cap in 23 trading days.
[+14] u/cryptohomunculus: ALL I HAD TO DO WAS HOLD
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUU
[+13] u/am-i-not-a-bot: RDDT does this every time. Then someone opens their mouth on the earnings call and gives it all back. As a bag holder, please just stay quiet on the call
[+13] u/csklmf: Apple, I have, dropped bigly.
MSFT, I have, dropped bigly.
SNDK, I have, dropped bigly.
Reddit, I sold, rises bigly.
[+13] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: i had 300 RDDT shares at $105 and sold at $115 thinking I’m Warren Buffet
then i took the $3,000 profit and lost it all on puts the same day
is the stock market a casino?
[+13] u/aniote: The year is 2028
Spy 1,950 new ATH
Insider trading is legal
Reddit is a $2T company
Nvidia market cap passed US GDP
Your daughter asking for two $500 bills to pay for the pizza delivery
[+13] u/Alarmed_House23: People close to me thought I was nuts for having 80% of my life savings in Google kept telling me to be more diversified, smh...
[+12] u/Terrible_Act688: There is a 100% chance Bessent is manipulating the market with Treasury money. This will not end well.
[+12] u/yoloswaggggggggg: The U.S. debt topping 100% of GDP with ath gas prices is incredibly bullish believe it or not.
[+12] u/-user222: rddt is at 3 days ago price btw
[+12] u/Emilio___Molestevez: wish me luck!
https://preview.redd.it/lys5wffi4eyg1.png?width=1179&format=png&auto=webp&s=bcb3eb6aa5ba8097c71d364e38fdba92b4924eaa
[+12] u/FUCK_THE_BOOKS: if we all buy RDDT it can reach ATH very soon
[+12] u/stupidber: Bodybuilding.com forum was peak internet
[+12] u/syedhuda: puts is free money right now- i know because my puts are at -99.9%
[+12] u/bearhunter429: #AAPL won't release results until 4:30 pm LMAO🤌
[+11] u/edmundamore1: SNDK massive beat and dumps. What else is new.
[+11] u/Far-Requirement9180: RDDT typical shitty movement lol
[+11] u/Normal-Phase-1252: if aapl tanks aswell its legit over for me
[+11] u/csr8765: SNDK reversal coming. Those earnings were insanity.
[+11] u/StonkaTrucks: I had $6k this morning (up from $1k deposited last month) and didn't withdraw because it's not enough to really do anything with and my wife would have just spent it on stupid stuff.
Blew it all on 0dte SPX puts in one day (today) and now feeling a little remorseful. Sorry wifey!
[+11] u/cramers_asshole: TIM APPLE ❌
TIM CUNT ✅
[+11] u/ajs723: Apple beat earnings.
I wonder if it will go down 5% or 7% tomorrow.
[+11] u/dreamer_Neet: The UAE has called on its citizens to depart Iran, Iraq and Lebanon immediately.
[+11] u/EnginrA: Who hacked into my brokerage and bought all these RDDT puts?
[+11] u/Suavecore_: I'm just gonna sell my nvda garbage at a loss tomorrow and go all-in on sndk for the rest of my life
[+11] u/astromouse2024: My aapl 280 calls for Monday are beyond dead
[+11] u/astrawberryandakiwi: I’d be some executives sex slave for a huge salary boost
[+11] u/Future_Hyena2562: Anything I sell pumps, anything I hold onto expires worthless
[+10] u/Sick0h: Best month for S&P in over 5 years. Had longest run for the Q’s in over 30 years. INTC with best month in 55 years. Surely May is a repeat.
[+10] u/Opposite-Wrongdoer84: Headline for tomorrow. “Stocks slide after hitting all time highs due to profit taking.”
[+10] u/DarkR124: SNDK dump already starting to V lol
Absolutely cracked.
[+10] u/ConstantAd1: TIM APPLE AND JOHN APPLE TO HOLD HANDS DURING EARNINGS CALL
[+10] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: JFC Reddit crushed earnings. $1.01 vs $.58 expected.
Bet your wife doesn’t have cannons like that!
[+10] u/brownboy223: SNDK back to levels not seen since 9am today
[+10] u/Inevitable_Estate459: I hate this trash market. Always pump. No respect for energy crsis. Pack it up. Bers like me lost.
[+10] u/deepsvar: I think puts are right. So calls.
[+10] u/optionsCone: The entire US economy right now is 7 companies sending a trillion fake dollars back and forth to each other
[+10] u/J_da_CPA: Money printing, war spending, AI spending
Ber R fuk lmao
[+10] u/csekseni1: Apples earnings were garbage wtf
[+9] u/gh0st-33: People surprised about SNDK.. as if it didn’t run 20% over the last 5-6 trading days
[+9] u/FAUX-HUNK: I might take the day off and start my weekend early. Portfolio is up 560% this month
[+9] u/rollinhating: Qqq up 20% in april is mad..
[+9] u/NaiveMercury: Holy shit RDDT
I can only get so hard
[+9] u/jamaicagroot: RDDT this is the start back to $250 LFG!!!!!
[+9] u/keepingITsecret11: RDDT SHREK IS BACK!!!
[+9] u/Stunning-Dig-8916: SNDK rebuying 6 billion back. Bears are cooked.
[+9] u/Zfreezy: Apple not dumping, prepare for the v
[+9] u/Scarface-83: *SNDK runs up 78% in the 30 days prior to earnings report*
*Typical WSB Regard* : Buys 5/1 $1,300c at the top on 4/30.
[+9] u/-Redditeer-: MSFT you were supposed to go up
[+9] u/moosewithamuffin: Hey bro don’t let the market kill your vibe. Win or lose we’re just having fun. Money is fake and ghey anyways. You’re worth no more or less as an individual based on some silly number in your Robinhood account. Keep your head up king.
[+9] u/Old-Commission2782: META go up $50 for no reason please and thank you
[+9] u/softboiledjadepotato: Anyone wondering why the pump, AAPL announced new fuchsia color iphone sock holder
[+9] u/pineapplekiwipen: if you shorted RDDT when they removed custom emojis you'd be up bigly
[+9] u/LaserBeamer17: RELEASE THE FUCKING AAPL EARNINGS YOU BASTARDS
[+9] u/Powerful-Attorney113: When is Apple announcing?
[+9] u/fish_: RDDT jumps every time they say AI in the call
[+8] u/Glittering_Water3645: Reddit 69% revenue growth. Nice
[+8] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: I Knew RDDT was gonna rocket up cause you losers were so negative on it.
[+8] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: Hardware is done. We’re doing software again. TEAM, FIG
[+8] u/Herbrax212: Someone explain to me what just happened to aapl
[+8] u/Happy-Champion1661: RDDT pumping now, plz dont' dump on me at open
[+8] u/User_UnKn0wn00: https://preview.redd.it/czlfwy2jxdyg1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f05b359a3504d2aa2b2f3dc829e44c19d6c6adba
RDDT thank you!
[+8] u/Tay_Tay86: Apparently CAT excavators cure cancer now or something. 400% gain on an industrial stock in 1 year
[+8] u/SherbertOk2563: LMAO RDDT FULLY RETRACED THE AH PUMP HAHAHAHAH
[+8] u/XeroShyft: I full ported into Western Digital before close as a revenge trade because I lost my ass on Microsoft today. It's over
[+8] u/tomato232: Blowout RDDT earnings—680% (7.8x) earnings growth! 🚀🚀🚀
[+8] u/bobby_stackz: There ya go reddit you ignorant slut
[+8] u/cramers_asshole: FUCKING TIM ROBBED ME OF 8 grand. Gay bitch
[+8] u/pineapplekiwipen: oof AAPL missed europe numbers even with weak dollar
[+8] u/kinkyhentai69: Rblx asking me to prove that I'm over 13 on my 14 year old account
Buy rblx puts
[+8] u/kerrykingzgo-T: Wish i had bought RDDT calls. I got shares like a little bitch because I keep getting pegged on earnings plays.
[+8] u/aniote: # MY Q1 EARNINGS TOMORROW 5PM ET. LIVE FROM WENDY'S BALTIMORE
Thank you for attention
[+8] u/Flat-Focus7966: RDDT pulling up software companies....
[+8] u/bear_necessitees: PSA: China stocks are for rent, not to own. Don't become a bagholder.
[+8] u/J_da_CPA: RDDT beat every metric 🚀
[+8] u/dogefool88: SNDK, WDC, MU will be at least 25% down tomorrow
[+8] u/Beagle001: I just need GOOG to do that two more days. Maybe three.
[+8] u/maxutilsperusd: I'd still never buy RDDT. It's a poorly run company, with a disgruntled userbase and growing AI contamination. As soon as a particularly viable competitor shows up it's the next MySpace, Digg, or Tumblr.
[+8] u/restartilife: I chose MSFT and WDC. Biggest L in my family
[+8] u/Bob_the_peasant: 725c for tomorrow. Probably cooked. But we will see
[+8] u/DistrictObjective680: SNDK really should have announced a stock split today.
[+8] u/ElkQuiet1541: 🥭 said Iran war is already won but he wants to win even bigger! This mean 🚀 next week
[+8] u/Micheal_Hancho: You should've held >!DEEZ NUTZ!!!<
[+8] u/SherbertOk2563: LMAO BEARS ARE BROKE AGAINI HAHAHA
[+8] u/Pete26l96: Congratulations to everyone... everyone except for $META and $MSFT investors LOL
[+8] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: Either I finally sell my RDDT stock or I'm a "long-term investor"
[+8] u/Normal-Phase-1252: i need aapl to go up 20% to make up for my sndk and wdc positions
[+8] u/Extension-Change-441: MAG 7 except for google blood red = SPY +1.10%. imagine if they all pumped too. SPY would be at 750 already
[+8] u/sp2802: appl is going to announce new siri moving away from chatgpt and fully imbibing gemini, +10% by open tomorrow lol
[+8] u/Fhyzikz: It's just 10 companies trading money back and forth lol
[+7] u/IDrinkSulfuricAcid: What the actual fuck is this price action
[+7] u/cramers_asshole: I am gonna fucking crash out. I took 3 positions today and all 3 fucking lost, ALL 3. WHAT THE FUCK DUDE
[+7] u/EnginrA: “why SNDK dump” they asked after a 3000% gain in a year
[+7] u/MaterialGuy007: SNDK. Revenue should’ve doubled instead barely went up by $1.1 bil - all gains not in vol but price delta - which means Samsung will eat their lunch in 2026! No wonder smart investors sold
[+7] u/spwath: Need SPY at either 725 or 625 tomorrow
[+7] u/knoqd_: I work at Apple. Apparently they missed by 200%. It’s over Apple to $100
[+7] u/RichardSantelli: SNDK crushed numbers and they are drilling??
[+7] u/nimoronic: That guy that ported 900p SNDK gonna be happy tomorrow.
[+7] u/lifeiswutumakeit: Wtf is wrong with rddt
[+7] u/Fieryhotsauce: RDDT can never just pick a damn direction after earnings
[+7] u/Dynasticmean: Well I bought some spy puts at close, we'll see how tomorrow plays
[+7] u/Emilio___Molestevez: u/spez (former mod of r/jailbait) pays himself and his friends more in annual stock-based dilutive compensation than Connor McDavid will make in his entire career. buy $RDDT if you wanna donate to u/spez pedo fund
[+7] u/Maximum_Light409: Rddt -15% tomorrow for absolutely no reason
[+7] u/HaveTwoBananas: aapl always flat like an asian girl's chest
[+7] u/IDrinkSulfuricAcid: SNDK and WDC roofied my drink and date raped me
[+7] u/Perhaps_Perchance: Wait for the opening dip then full port 0DTE SPX Calls
[+7] u/ten7four: Time for oil to creep back up while no one's lookng
[+7] u/AdventurousFinish681: sand dick taking a big shit
[+7] u/ggtfcjj: Reddit long term winner
[+7] u/teh_herper: AAPL flat as fuk just pick a side
[+7] u/teh_herper: #HOW COULD YOU TIM APPLE
[+7] u/Jagged_Tide: Holding 1DTE overnight is cool because it’s like fucking over your future self
[+7] u/spellbreaker: Implied move for RDDT weekly options was over 15% by the way so weeklies will be crushed unless there's another gap up from here
[+7] u/Gloomy_Necesary: Damn i genuinely thought apple was gonna smash earnings. Guess ill hope earnings call saves me
[+7] u/PalpitationSmooth992: SNDK doubled in the past month and people are profit taking
retards in this sub: why go down!?
[+7] u/interstellara_: I did nothing for AH and somehow I feel like I won
[+7] u/AdCritical5383: #>!PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS!<
[+7] u/Responsible-Story773: AAPL COME BACK WTF R U DOING
[+7] u/1M-to-Zero: Intel's stock more than doubles in April for best month in chipmaker's 55 years on Nasdaq
[+7] u/Ble_h: Tim Apple leaving on a sad note. At least make it go up 10%.
[+7] u/bemeandnotyou: Rates just did rip and crash like a meme coin....
Bessent just trapped the shorts.
[+7] u/Kaladin3104: USO hit 155 last night, and markets pumped today? wtf..
[+7] u/aniote: Bought GOOG at @ 140 and actually considering buying more @ 382 because the company prints more cash than the Fed and is still undervalued
[+7] u/AdOk3638: Tim Apple gives one last middle finger to the bols. LMAO🤌
[+7] u/cramers_asshole: In 4 trading days i blew 50% of the profits… sigh..
[+7] u/Mr-Bonnet: RIP THOSE MAY 1 AAPL CALLS
[+7] u/stoneskipper18: Iran headed to the stone age. Calls.
[+7] u/Big_Instruction9922: Tim Cook sounds like Mr. Garrison
[+7] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: AAPL only 1% down chill lol
[+7] u/callsonreddit: rip sndk bagholders
maybe me
[+7] u/jroth55: Was down 85% on QQQ calls today and held. Ended up +50%. I don’t think my mental health can handle any more of this.
[+7] u/dedmanspartywastaken: Put my SNDK winnings into calls today. Am still praying for green in the morning for minimal losses. Ffffff.
[+7] u/Xzlk: Holy shit I actually bought more apple AH and it worked out. This is the first in history for me
[+7] u/Purple_Bearkat: AAPL: we aren’t burning capital like a bunch of deranged ai junkies.
[+7] u/tangerineTurtle_: I’m getting brain surgery tomorrow so wish me luck I guess?
[+7] u/WallStreetThreats_: Last week: INTC has good earnings, AMD pumps to insane numbers
This week: Seagate has great earnings, WDC pumps to insane numbers. WDC and SNDK report great earnings, get absolutely crushed.
That's amore
[+7] u/KittyLover-7: NVDA and sandick calls from here
Take the free dip
[+7] u/powerboner: OKLO is so fucking gay. Been stuck at +/- $70 since like December
[+7] u/Jagged_Tide: 8 minutes until apple earnings
[+7] u/Creative_Walk_5579: SNDK green by open like I said. LMAO
[+7] u/Zfreezy: Apple having a seizure
[+7] u/Fhyzikz: SPY up 30% tomorrow on the news
[+6] u/FabulousLanguage6216: Release the AAPL earnings you fking bastards. No more mr nice guy
[+6] u/riteofpass: Why the sudden drop on SNDK bad earnings?
[+6] u/isospeedrix: TEAM +20% holeefuk im back to break even
[+6] u/J_da_CPA: Where my RDDT bros at !!
[+6] u/met_art: RDDT mods are to busy with banning people. They are solely responsible for RDDT stock downfall. They basically reduce traffic and user base.
[+6] u/Emilio___Molestevez: TIM APPLE YOU BETTER FUCKING SAY $MU ON THE CALL YOU FUCKING HOWHOA WHOA WHOA SLOW DOWN THERE WE DON'T SAY THAT KINDA THING ANYMORE
[+6] u/Swiftnice: UAE banning travel to Iran and urges UAE citizens to leave immediately. I guess 🥭 really was waiting for King Charles to leave to have weekend strikes.
[+6] u/Advanced_Divide_4641: If we get 3 wars going at the same time…
[+6] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: Apple options sellers eating good
[+6] u/GoingDownUnderInSEA: Lmao apple. Did they leak?
[+6] u/Stunning-Dig-8916: What happened to Apple?
[+6] u/Fhyzikz: We should just delist everything but GOOG
[+6] u/be_o3: GOOGL is the new king
[+6] u/isospeedrix: lmao 10 second 0dte spx puts +980%
[+6] u/A_Credo: Once the market closed, the person(s) keeping volatility down (by mass selling) magically disappeared.
[+6] u/hotCupADank: is apple gonna fuck?
[+6] u/housemouse431: if sandisk still pumps after earnings, Ill just yolo at ATH
[+6] u/Vegetable-Crazy: Who tf bought call on a stock that rose 300% ytd. Perma bols are dumb af
[+6] u/OkResponsibility2470: Sndk beat eps by 60% lmao idk if it goes red I’m buying dat dip
[+6] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Won
---
/u/Cubbos_ made a bet that RDDT would go to 160.36 within **2 days** when it was 145.78 and it did, congrats autist.
Their record is now 1 wins and 0 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+6] u/Gandalfthebran: I knew reddit was going to crush it when most people here were bear on it. I unironically believe reversing this subs consensus is the best approach
[+6] u/Sovetcki: Ahahahahahahahaha I told y'all reddit calls!!!!!! IM CALLING OUT SICK FROM MY SHIFT BEHIND THE WENDY'S DUMPSTER
[+6] u/teh_herper: # HERE COMES THE AAPL SHREK
[+6] u/spluff94: SNDK is going back up wtf?
[+6] u/saltednutz69: RDDT and ROKU blasting off into anus
[+6] u/DrummerCompetitive20: RDDT huge beat and raise
[+6] u/astromouse2024: So aapl to 290 tomorrow
[+6] u/cramers_asshole: Go red you stupid whore
[+6] u/sloanemonroe: Nothing burger. Spy and QQQ up another $10 each tomorrow.
[+6] u/yeedub: Apple ripping after dumping
[+6] u/Intelligent-Ad8242: Shit s too stressful ain't worth it
[+6] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: sir a second bearrorist has hit SNDK tower..,
[+6] u/Nubesrojas7: How likely are my 717 spy puts to be in the money for tomorrow ?
[+6] u/Ble_h: Bols, no crying in the casino.
[+6] u/Haikoe: Oil just going back up
[+6] u/TickTockTaudit: I tried to buy SQQQ on margin and Charles Schwab himself appeared and let me know I was being irresponsible.
[+6] u/Me-Regarded: Out of semis, into Dollar General 🫡
[+6] u/WordsHappenedHere: It gives me great pleasure to watch bears get destroyed. Then they double down and revenge trade and get wrecked even harder. Thanks for the good times guys.
[+6] u/Unusual_Platform8318: Nothing matters anymore. I'm convinced that if a nuke was dropped on Iran the market would go up 2%
[+6] u/theprodigy107: Aapl investors flocking to a safe haven like msft
[+6] u/AssociateLate1116: WHAT THE FUCK IS PROPPING UP THIS PIECE OF SHIT
[+6] u/DryBicycle5629: Flat AH post earnings = -6% by open tomorrow
I don’t make the rules
[+6] u/bobby_stackz: 7 of my stocks reported this week and only one bricked fuck you HOOD.
[+6] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/jsie-iaiqhsi816278 made a bet that AAPL would go to 300.0 within **18 hours** when it was 270.847 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 36 wins and 115 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+6] u/FTWLibra: Nobody will ever invest in Nvidia ever again
[+6] u/NotMe357: "Donald TACO is among 287 nominees for the Nobel Peace Prize 2026, with leaders from Cambodia, Israel and Pakistan reportedly backing his nomination, per the Globe and Mail."
If he doesn't get his Nobel prize this year then he will start WW6 or was it WW7? Lol
[+6] u/Extension-Change-441: as a sometimes ber, am I only half fuk
[+6] u/E39_CBX: So AAPL call will save us right?
[+6] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: AAPL is such an immovable object that even when it tanks it just goes down 1-2%.
[+6] u/Mr-Bonnet: BRING STEVE JOBS BACK!
[+6] u/patmccock86: Damn, AAPL is going to open down 1% tomorrow. Bols, hope you sold your calls
[+6] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: AI replaces half the jobs, but it's not very profitable and there is a decade of debt to pay off, so we can't tax them. No one works anymore and tax revenue plummets. You wait in the online queue to get your daily $1000 printed Trump dollars to buy some fast food and a coffee. SPY is 20,000.
[+6] u/WailingWarbler: Jim Kramer April 29th said to buy Sandisk. Shouldnt have listened
[+6] u/After_Win_5716: BOYZ APPL MOONING
inshallah
[+6] u/DryBicycle5629: #JAPAN TRIP SPONSORED BY TIMOTHY 🍎
[+6] u/deathlyharry: BREAKING: APPLE ANNOUNCES STEVE JOBS HAS RETURNED FROM THE DEAD.
[+6] u/astromouse2024: MY 280 CALLS FOR MONDAY JUST WENT IN THE MONEY WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
[+6] u/Future_Hyena2562: I take back all the bad shit I’ve said about AAPL for the last 90 minutes
[+6] u/Spiritual_Taste_1253: All predictability of the market complete out the window now. Every thesis is just a coin flip
[+6] u/whitepug: Did they resurrect steve jobs on the earnings call LMAO
[+6] u/PushAble2463: USD has decreased -17 % in value against my shitty local currency since january 2025. No wonder it doesn’t feel like ATH
[+6] u/David_Norris_M: aapl bouta carry spy to 730 tomorrow
[+6] u/cripky: just finished an ai goon session, the future of ai is bright
this has been a cry for help update
[+6] u/PropheticMurmurs: So 725 tomorrow? This bigdick retardpump energy is just mindlessly infinite.
[+6] u/CHENWizard: Sand dick? Why would I want a sand dick?
[+6] u/bearhunter429: #At this rate SNDK will pass BRK.A's share price soon LMAO🤌
[+6] u/Fhyzikz: Looks like GOOG beat AAPL earnings. Nice
[+6] u/NoBuyers: Interesting:
>UAE announced a travel ban on Emirati citizens to [\#Iran](https://x.com/hashtag/Iran?src=hashtag_click), [\#Lebanon](https://x.com/hashtag/Lebanon?src=hashtag_click), [\#Iraq](https://x.com/hashtag/Iraq?src=hashtag_click) & called on all citizens currently in these countries to depart immediately and return to the UAE as soon as possible.
[https://x.com/HibaNasr/status/2049940922209652940](https://x.com/HibaNasr/status/2049940922209652940)
[+6] u/Jagged_Tide: APPL moonshot loading see you regards in space 👋
[+6] u/drytexterfinalboss: If you like sndk at 1100, you are gonna love it when it goes back to 500
[+6] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: all the SNDK option buyers are about to learn what it means to get robbed by my gang of premium thieves
[+6] u/Far-Requirement9180: Sand Dick premiums are fucking outrageous lol
[+6] u/RJ5R: Hormuz is double stuffed blockaded
Europe is weeks away from running out of jet fuel
And market soars to all time highs
I don't get it kids, I don't get it
[+6] u/freehouse_throwaway: wellness check on WSB bears
you guys ok?
[+6] u/ShitpostSulthan: in b4 sndk casually recovers like nothing ever happened..
[+6] u/IDrinkSulfuricAcid: All I want is SNDK & WDC green by open
[+6] u/Fhyzikz: SPY 750 by next week
[+6] u/CaaCCeo: Tim Cook should go out with a bang and pop the AI bubble by exposing the cooked books everyone has
[+6] u/J_da_CPA: Buy RDDT now or get left behind 🚀
[+6] u/bendersd: SNDK gonna boomerang back to green ... I hope.
[+6] u/ilwb: Crowd goes mild over appl
[+6] u/Azbroker28: Nvda did my real dirty today.
[+6] u/patmccock86: They pre-pumped the index because AAPL will bring it down BIGLY tomorrow, sinister motherfuckers. SAD!
[+6] u/PrthReddits: Fuck I'm cooked 280c apple
[+6] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: Don’t do it bro, we love you
Even tho you smell like urine
[+5] u/veryveryuniquename5: My portfolio has reached generational wealth status LMAO🤌
[+5] u/rixxxand: Spy was at 630 literally 30 days ago.
[+5] u/TheMeta40k: Tomorrow my spy 712c expire.
I should have sold them today but here we are
[+5] u/Equivalent-Net-1557: Woke up and sold my SPY calls at 8:31. Fuck me
[+5] u/WallStreetThreats_: WDC: "We doubled our EPS"
immediately drops $15/share
[+5] u/haihaihaihaihaihai1: LMAO SNDK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[+5] u/__pickle_rick: Can't wait for my 1 share of SNDK that I paid 1100 for to be worth 200 tomorrow!
[+5] u/Isthatastarorufo: rddt to 200 in two weeks
[+5] u/met_art: RDDT bulls are coocked 😬
[+5] u/WarmCan3034: How the hell is spy 719
[+5] u/WrexyWrex: A new report shows that 88 of the largest companies in America, including:
Amazon
Citigroup
Haliburton
Kohl's
Palantir
PayPal
PG&E
Southwest Airlines
Tesla
United Airlines
Disney
paid ZERO corporate income tax last year.
[+5] u/yerwathurts: All tech will fkn soar tomorrow
[+5] u/LostMallDoll: going all in on amazon. not the stock just shopping.
[+5] u/aniote: SPY up 100% in 3.5 years
money has no value. fugazi whazy woozie. fairy dust
If you weren't 100% invested in the market these last 5 years you are pretty much broke from paper printing
[+5] u/MooseyGoosey69: apple farming premiums
[+5] u/veryveryuniquename5: hey amd bers i wouldnt open ur ports for the rest of your life LMAO🤌
[+5] u/booose6: Prob wont crash till after tomorrow
[+5] u/Oldschoolhype2: Head fake at close shook paperhands?
[+5] u/yolo_astronaut: The market is still pumping after just coming out of a dip two weeks ago?
Way too bullish
[+5] u/Initial_Ad_9250: The theta gang victory on msft earnings was brutal. Well played cunts. I hope the bers today made some dough
[+5] u/csr8765: I told yall Sandisk was going to rip
[+5] u/Stunning-Dig-8916: SNDK beat EPS by 60%
[+5] u/Damerman: Sndk dying after an almost 100% beat on eps
[+5] u/xlmtothemoon: sandicks going flaccid
[+5] u/OptionsHuduga: TEAM WAS THERE ALL ALONG AND ALL YOU IDIOTS TALKED ABOUT WAS SANDISK LOL
[+5] u/Electrical-Prize5445: Why is SNDK down lmao? Great quarter with massive revenue and earnings beat.
And memory prices just keep going up
[+5] u/ercanbas: I will die if my SNDK $900 puts pay out tomorrow.
[+5] u/Happy-Champion1661: SNDK is still higher than start of the week, but seriously... I saw people here buying $1500 calls for this week. Yes, 5/1 expiration.
what the fuck
[+5] u/Same_Bag711: Almost threw up when I saw the price of gas around me a minute ago
[+5] u/JohnsHopkinsSimp: SNDK to $0. I want my SD cards back to reasonable prices 😠
[+5] u/Oldschoolhype2: Imma need a big green apple.
[+5] u/MyCodenameIsIan: Rddt is a wild ride AH.
[+5] u/SherbertOk2563: SANDISK BOLLZ GOT SANDDICKED UP THEIR LITTLE ASSHOLES
HAHAHA
[+5] u/Gloomy_Necesary: Who’s playing Apple here? I’m all in on shares
[+5] u/Sick0h: Had no clue memory stocks could do down on earnings. We’ve hit the ceiling.
[+5] u/According-Essay-4973: Maybe those software stocks aren't dead after all.
[+5] u/Automatic-Raise-2366: F it I’m jumping on the rddt bandwagon
[+5] u/sfleury10: Getting oiled up today for tomorrow. Oil down now on hopium. Ceasing the ceasefire inc
[+5] u/dune2350: sndk - first move hopefully fake.
earnings actually looked good. then again its run up huge coming into today.
[+5] u/Gristle__McThornbody: Is it true Google Drive is better than Icloud?
[+5] u/Affectionate-Idea690: NOW yes go go fukers this was overkill and u know it fukers
[+5] u/moneycabaI: Damn they really manipulated AAPL 10 minutes into close.
[+5] u/jonneh: SNDK Undertaker gif 😈
[+5] u/teh_herper: # A NEW HAND TOUCHES THE BEACON. WELCOME JOHN APPLE.
[+5] u/Round-Yak8968: 🥭just scored a huge month for the market and the war powers deadline is tomorrow. What time do the 💣’s start flying tonight?
[+5] u/Nubesrojas7: Please let me exit my 717 SPY put 🧐
[+5] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: Did Tim Apple say the N word
[+5] u/ten7four: AAPL barely beat? That'll be a dump
[+5] u/mwesty25: Only thing AAPL has going for them is their endless cash to buy back their shares.
[+5] u/ten7four: RDDT mooning back to where it was two days ago, lol
[+5] u/Normal-Phase-1252: aapl just the most flaccid thing ever
[+5] u/WailingWarbler: Man, did anyone who didnt buy google or spy 0dte calls make any money today?
[+5] u/WhiteCollllarCrime69: Tried to get out of a speeding ticket by showing the cop my nipple.
[+5] u/penguinpandapear: Aapl can still give monster guidance and maybe it turbo pumps but it’s not looking good for 5/1 calls bros
[+5] u/housemouse431: sandisk beat eps by 10 bucks like wtf lmao
[+5] u/linnanetheman: Selling my AAPL calls at 3:30 was the best decision I made all week
[+5] u/OnAWagonToMexico: The is 2037 and MSFT is still trading at $410
[+5] u/Quirky_Push_2506: People playing AAPL earnings are truely regards. Big swings are really rare with Apple earings.
[+5] u/jonneh: > SNDK delivered a massive earnings beat for fiscal Q3, reporting adjusted EPS of $23.41 versus the $14.62 consensus estimate, while revenue surged to $5.95 billion — a 250% year-over-year jump that crushed the $4.72 billion Wall Street forecast.
>
> Q4 guidance also blew past expectations, with the company projecting revenue of $7.75–$8.25 billion and adjusted EPS of $30–$33, well above analyst estimates of $6.62 billion and $23.38. Despite the blowout results, shares are tumbling roughly 6% in after-hours trading.
[+5] u/Technical_Tank7174: Taking a break. PDT rule fucking sucks
[+5] u/looool_k_libtard: Absolute dog shit numbers from SNDK. who is even buying this trash? Memory? How does that make coal get mined faster?
[+5] u/kinkyhentai69: Has rblx ever made money ? How tf are they not bankrupt ? They cant make a dollar while using child labor to make games for them wtf 😂
[+5] u/-user222: 1 year ago google was 165 and you (yes i’m talking to you) were making fun of bagholders
[+5] u/ziggs_ulted_japan: Brutal. All these companies with earnings beats to get beat down.
[+5] u/GoogleKushforLunch: I like playing only 1-2 contracts now, yeah it’s slow but when I’m wrong I only lose a few hundred compared to thousands
[+5] u/WSBnoobxor: Lol fomo into rddt tomorrow
[+5] u/Normal-Phase-1252: earnings always ruin me, yet i always play
[+5] u/Future_Hyena2562: AAPL better come out stuntin’ on this call
[+5] u/WorkingCorrect1062: I swear I am seeing Apple revenue at $110B every quarter since 2021 but the cult members of that stock don't want to sell it and crash it. It makes no sense it has had no growth in five years
[+5] u/fomoandyoloandnogrow: **Congrats you gey fuks, apparently you clicked on enough promoted comments that RDDT is up 10%**
Also thank you to all the weird fetish and hentai subs, thank your for your attention to this earnings
[+5] u/TopTrey9: ChatGPT is funny, for 2 years a paid the $20/m for the pro version. A month back I decided I didn’t really need it because you can do very similar things with a bunch of other models (Gemini/Claude/grok..etc) so I cancelled.
Now the free version doesn’t even let a chat go more than 5 mins worth of prompts. Scam, they want to charge us monthly and harvest the most amount of data out of any company on plant earth… ✌️model is slow as hell now too, glitches, crashes..poor quality product
[+5] u/Me-Regarded: Semis are so 2025. Gross
[+5] u/NotMe357: The Apple Earning Call from Tim sounds like A.I or prerecorded 🤔
[+5] u/stonksf: AAPL looking to intel to increase chip capacity
https://x.com/deitaone/status/2049949608575386058?s=46
[+5] u/Noxitati0n: It's funny because Newton discovered gravity through an apple, but apple never moves
[+5] u/foulhowell: Google is the seed; Apple is the apple.
[+5] u/Regenbooggeit: What happened to NVDA today?
[+5] u/bierbottle: Johnny Apple will moon tomorrow 🚀🚀🚀
[+5] u/hv876: I have to watch Devil Wears Prada 2 to get some action. And here that JPM dude was getting free smashes at work and home. What a life.
[+5] u/Lost_Jellyfish_3574: Someone explain to me do we basically just always pump and sometimes we have a dip but after we continue pumping? Is that basically the stock market ?
[+5] u/stupidber: How is VOO my biggest gain YTD?? Maybe I'm bad at picking stonks.
[+5] u/Gloomy_Necesary: I LOVE YOU APPLE I NEVER DOUBTED YOU
[+5] u/Gloomy_Necesary: Apple up 3% after hours after having been down 1% post earnings release
[+5] u/sixtheperfectnumber: John Apple has entered the chat
[+5] u/jeanx22: "why is SNDK down"
\*checks price graph\*
\> +450% in 6 months
[+5] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: I have 70k cash. What do I do
[+5] u/TopAcanthisitta2972: So did Apple create a lie about AI or what? Why sudden green?
[+5] u/deathlyharry: basically Apple is hinting they are going to start spending money on something like R+D or infrastructure or AI and they are rewarded.
when they tell us how much they spent on AI on the other hand....
[+5] u/sebach22: AAPL just a little shy, maybe a hard time getting it up but still does when it’s important
[+5] u/_pout_: Don't even have to read it. Apple pimped some AI rhetoric, didn't they.
[+5] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/Normal_Silver4582 made a bet that META would go to 779.74025 within **3 days** when it was 678.035 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 0 wins and 2 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+5] u/LumpyShock9656: Good for you AAPL holders. I don't own it but great company happy for you
[+5] u/Intelligent-Ad8242: Yesterday msft today apple I can't take this no more going back to crypto
[+5] u/DarkR124: Whale just went in huge on a bunch of oil and gas mid caps. Counting almost 750K contracts that just popped up from PAA, PAGP, and WES. Crazy stuff
[+5] u/Bababoueyyy: SNDK will moon 20% but will end tomorrow flat
[+5] u/optimaltimemism: Why did AAPL dump before close?
[+5] u/Waiting4Reccession: Roku always pumps when i forget it exists
[+5] u/WSBnoobxor: Rddt where will you go and who hole will you plug
[+5] u/Aware_Secret_8910: RDDT rugged as expected
[+5] u/cryptopolymath: Memory FUD, this is why retail gets fleeced every time.
[+5] u/pineapplekiwipen: if i had to guess sandick recovers this and hits 1200 tomorrow
[+5] u/Kooky-Parfait-2706: RDDT go back to $200+ please
[+5] u/haihaihaihaihaihai1: RDDT green SNDK red cant make thsi shit up lol
[+5] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Won
---
/u/ThatGuyCalledEric made a bet that RDDT would go to 160.0 within **2 days** when it was 147.88 and it did, congrats gigabrain.
Their record is now 3 wins and 3 losses
You're a part of the [WSB Discord server](http://discord.gg/wsbverse), therefore you earned 10,000 coins for your win!
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+5] u/edmundamore1: SNDK will most certainly blow past 1200 by tomorrow am
[+5] u/ChampionshipSoggy618: True regards celebrating RDDT spike after what happened yesterdatv
[+5] u/donniedarko1010: Piece of shit stock reddit, why am I here all day
[+5] u/Ok-Piano8789: for a user the value of RDDT these days is inversing the retarded fkn npcs on here but they're trying to unironically train AI on it, MAJOR problem. unles they're putting a \*-1 on the weights they're just ruining the AI.
[+5] u/sjjjjjjmmmmm: Drill team 6 reporting for duty
[+5] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: 🥭 on the Iran war: "We've already won, but I want to win by a bigger margin"
[+5] u/Suspicious-Composer8: SNDK sell the news buy the dip lol
[+5] u/options1_trader: it’s ok $AAPL 🥱🥱 it’s not like you’re a part of MAG7 or something
[+5] u/jonneh: Tim Apple said
#
# EJECTO SEATOO CUUZZ
[+5] u/RandomC6: dafuq is going on with SNDK WDC
[+5] u/Practical-Health3455: Apple had a warm up dump and now dumping for real.
[+5] u/Next-Definition5529: I asked Jesus to take me to Valhalla or take me Wendy’s…guess what he chose
[+5] u/1M-to-Zero: Aaple is flat to fuck everyone.
[+5] u/unhappyreach_: Selling your shit posts to train AI
[+5] u/Iunatic: #Absolutely MASSIVE AAPL dump. Basically bankruptcy. LMAO
[+5] u/Initial_Ad_9250: Taken off the epstein ETF
[+19] u/unpaid-astroturfer: Crazy how Meta pissed away enough money to end world hunger on the shittiest VR Chat clone of all time and we all just moved on wtf
[+18] u/NoProfessional4650: Bers. Going to take the troll cap off and be real.
Don’t fuck yourself by constantly buying short dated puts. This shit is going to run for years and it’s going to be volatile, constantly tempting massive swings in either direction but it’s IMPOSSIBLE to time on a short term basis.
I know the appeal of a lotto ticket is extremely high especially when port sizes aren’t huge but you WILL lose your money and you WILL ruin your life.
[+16] u/ChampagnePapi-: I hate my life man, im unemployed, broke, no prospects and depressed, life is over after 30
[+14] u/KevinWarshNudes: I am so proud that a retarded mistake I made ended up netting me 10k today. How can institutional bois know what I’m going to do when I have no fuckin idea what I’m doing?
[+14] u/LastPeak6412: IF NVDA does not go to 195 tomorrow i am killing myself
[+13] u/AKNJ907: What’s a guy gotta do to get sexually harassed around here eh?
[+12] u/RjBloxks: lol bers were so cocky yesterday fucking dumbasses
[+12] u/aftherith: One of the best parts about the stock market is watching very smart people be so consistently wrong.
[+11] u/kjl8921: SPY at 720 is insane
[+10] u/laurencenor: SPY and QQQ are due a correction. Right? 10% in a month? I mean come on.
[+10] u/zurijer: SPY keeps making new ATHs i dont even care about the 10k puts that i bought for AMD.
IM JOKING AMD YOU PIECE OF SHIT FUCKING DROP 10% ON ER
[+10] u/jakeisarake: Msft you limp dick fuck
[+9] u/YouLostMeThere43: My NOW calls are only -49% instead of -60% now🥲
[+9] u/Ok_Cry7572: They gonna crash the market only after every ber is destroyed, I think after spx 8000
[+9] u/Dangerous_Bed_6785: Genuinely what does it take for the stock market to pull back
[+9] u/GreenGameboyColor: Bears did not deserve this today 😔
[+9] u/KYEEZY98: Pickles are lowkey good until you’re in one them mf
[+9] u/PowerNoodles117: Every stocked pumped already nothing left to pump, except...
[+9] u/OG_L0c: This JPMorgan guy wrote fan fiction about my dream job
[+9] u/xironically23: Brother you can only be a bear for maybe half an hour a day, today was not it
[+8] u/McClintockC: Gamestop is the driving force behind this rally 😮💨
[+8] u/National-Log5203: Buying memory and semis today is like buying Zoom or Peloton in 2020. Lots of people will be left holding the bag
[+8] u/No_Current3675: John Apple got a big green dick
[+8] u/Dangerous_Bed_6785: The pump that never stops holy fuck
[+8] u/Actual_Difference617: Stocks rally because people are afraid to be left behind in K shaped economy.
[+8] u/stonetrade: Holy shit my first green month since I can remember (i made $30)
[+8] u/ThouOne: Ooof RDDT +13%, rip baby ripppp
[+8] u/Godselah: Chances of APPL going to 290 tomorrow?
[+8] u/Suspicious-V3rbatim: Dont u fckn do it Apple!!! Stay up!!!
[+7] u/Rugpull_Generator: I sold a shit ton of 715p expiring tomorrow LMAO
Bears bought them from me
LMAO
[+7] u/wildcat1055: ~~My dream is to work for Jane Street Capital~~
My dream is to work for JP Morgan Chase. But only if I get a certain manager.
[+7] u/Paul_Robert_: Holy Shrek cock on $AAPL
[+7] u/imightgobroke: its amazing how the market truly doesnt GAF
[+7] u/GreenGameboyColor: Why am I donating my money through puts?
[+7] u/PhotoSpheres: I love how every tech stock is beating their earnings estimates and they are all going up except for the ones that I’m holding
[+7] u/sdanielsmith: I love you, $AAPL. You keep that shit up.
[+7] u/Rugpull_Generator: I sold A LOT of SPY puts expiring tomorrow at close. Bitch ass bears bought all of them
LOL
[+7] u/IntrepidToday0: Imagine sitting on cash, waiting for the “big dip” lmao
[+7] u/Big_Red_Dogs: Rddt you beautiful sob. Maybe soon I’ll not have to turn the screen away when my wife walks by.
Your turn next week rklb.
[+7] u/noicedeb8r: SNDK about to dip out of the 1000’s can’t wait
[+7] u/MetalliTooL: What the actual shit is going on with this market?
[+7] u/Wrath_FMA: I'll make money on calls. but I never want to hear the phase "The Stock Market is foward looking" again
[+7] u/Electronic-Bit5190: Bought RDDT yesterday up 13%. Bought HOVR yesterday up 18%. Happy days
[+7] u/git0ffmylawnm8: Don't worry, her boyfriend already buys her as much shit as she wants
[+6] u/MrFlippyFlip: Love the people at the gym who hop on the treadmill next to me and think they’re going to out run me.
Nah, I’m way more mentally ill than you. Always have been, always will be.
[+6] u/WSB-mods-are-: I'm so happy I'm not Indian
[+6] u/ReflectionLumpy1040: RDDT will drop 9% on a random Tuesday for no reason but is only up 8% after blowout earnings 😭
[+6] u/Bernie_Ecclestone: Apple jumping 3% ATH is their equivalent of mooning 🚀
[+6] u/whomakesthetendies: You know what's unprecedented? The levels of FRAUD around here
[+6] u/Franksterge0815: Isnt it funny 🥭 got so quiet all of the sudden about Middle East during tech earnings week
[+6] u/Successful-End7689: Gentlemen, from here on out my sole focus is getting into JPMorgan’s leveraged finance department 🫡
[+6] u/benj760486: JP Morgan has some awesome fringe benefits
[+6] u/Molten-Helldiver: Was a gey ber today, 10/10 will not do again
[+6] u/Fernyfern7: Fuck wake Pam up we're so close to 50k
[+6] u/mr_stupid_face: I don’t understand why politicians are serving when they are so damn old. I am way younger than they are and I am already tired.
No way I would still be doing something that required me to show up if I already had enough money to just mind my own business and do whatever I wanted.
In any case, did you say you wanted me to put the extra napkins in the bag?
[+6] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: I'M ON THE PHONE DOING DEALS🫴
[+6] u/Mysterious-Device-53: Fools were talking about SNDK hitting 2000 on earnings, Lmao
[+6] u/Then-Wealth-1481: Axios: Taliban warns Afghan citizens to leave Iran for safety reasons.
[+6] u/xSpectre_iD: dont, there are always more plays
[+5] u/Particular-Cake-6430: Lol all the rddt call and put buyers going to lose tomorrow
[+5] u/giannisismyman: WHY IS REDDIT DROPPING
[+5] u/Waveytony: John Apple you sassy bitch, just release the earnings already
[+5] u/Ok_Abbreviations8440: IV fucks everyone tomorrow
[+5] u/imonkaS: Get off WSB that's what
[+5] u/Maximum-Side-9391: Apple coming for the Chromebook
[+5] u/Alti23: If appl could offer to buy nflx at 120 dollars a share that’d be grand
[+5] u/Eur0stept: Put my dick in the sand (sndk)
[+5] u/I_Dint_Know_A_Name: Google Google Google 🤑🤑🤑
[+5] u/ThanksDependent1001: I’m a regard and bought Put spreads tomorrow. Spy over $720 so looks like I’m working the fry line again.
[+5] u/Helios-Sol: #why tf is FIG joining in on this action
[+5] u/Scared-Signature-452: If I use it everyday while I sm sitting and waiting for a bowel production item to drop, damn right I'm going to buy and own it's stock aholes
[+5] u/LossMax: Blow off top tomorrow
[+5] u/Sam_Vicious2: My $720 put and I seeing SPY 721 😅
[+5] u/JimmyMcTrade: All I know is that I bought the Lulu dip a while back and now that's down 43%.
[+5] u/Jaredthegoat_: The bers have been totally vanquished today XDDDD
[+5] u/ManBearPig_1983: Ketamine Hole economy
[+5] u/abroadbroadband: WORK SUCKS
# I KNOW!
She left me roses by the stairs... 🥀
Surprises let me know she cares 🥹
[+5] u/PulIthEld: im up 15% YTD, meanwhile SPY is only up 5%. I literally just need to hold SPY to beat the market this year.
[+5] u/Wrath_FMA: Could my hood calls get a nice 10% day tomorrow?
[+5] u/ThanksDependent1001: So my puts are cooked. But… if I go full port 50-100 call contracts it should mathematic balance out…right? 🫡
[+5] u/zlordbeats: anyone heard from metal bros since february lmfao what is going on here
[+5] u/9tacos: Ackman got a sandpaper handjob 🤣
[+5] u/damnthatbooty: NOW WE PUMP NVIDIA TO PUMP SPY
[+5] u/abused-throwawayy: The hormuz still closed but VIX is acting like the cure for cancer and death dropped last week
[+5] u/tripstermcgee808: MSFT bag holders (me) considering truck stop glory hole gig work if the 69-day *try drafting this email with Copilot* moving average crosses the *no-Clippy-zone*.
[+5] u/Coda70: I’m hodling $65k in apple calls. Almost pussed out and took profit before the bell. Diamond hands prevailed. Now my wife can buy as much stupid shit as she wants and it won’t bother me.
[+5] u/Czyzzle: Ever had one of those days when every trade was wrong? Except one. And that's because I accidentally bought 18 ODE calls rather than puts. It was god doing for me what I couldn't do for myself. Without that miracle things would have been very ugly. Turned out just kinda ugly. I should have just not touched a damn thing.
[+5] u/PowerNoodles117: Gambling, I mean trading is just an expensive hobby at this point 🤣🤣
[+5] u/NightWalkThrowAway: Every stock mooned on ER except the two I owned, NFLX and MSFT. Fml
[+5] u/PercTrader: Just got off work to check my positions and holy SPY 720? Wtf happened
[+5] u/Purple_Orchid_4109: Sick, I bought 900 puts on sandisk for 1dte expiry tomorrow night.
I’m either the worlds biggest regard OR the worlds biggest regard. This is one of the best win win situations of all time
[+5] u/Neat-Concentrate-239: looks like i picked a bad day to quit ketamine
[+5] u/oldprecision: They blew out earnings? Dump it.
[+5] u/Affectionate-Day2743: rotation back into Walmart ($WMT)
[+5] u/Provolone-Jones: Come on oil, you know you want to break out. You can do it!
[+5] u/DuAbUiSai: How my rddt earnings do ? 🫣
[+5] u/Stmast: Holy shit after sofi, hood msft absolutely fucked me, its seems rddt might reduce my suffering a little bit.
[+5] u/Montyprice7206: New fed guy gonna pump us full parabolic when the war starts again next week ✅
Everything going according to plan
[+5] u/Eldritchsails: NOK better keep it's ass above 13 into tomorrow
[+5] u/Burtonwurton: Nothing Tim is saying is pumping this shit.
[+5] u/Raw-Natural-Nate: Robinhood already told us the story for retail crypto. Down big. How is Coinbase not gonna miss big when they report? Betting big they do miss.
[+19] u/-IQ200: War ✅
Runaway inflation ✅
Energy crisis ✅
Growing national debt + credit delinquency ✅
Epstein Files ✅
🎊 **ALL TIME HIGH CONDITIONS** 🎊
[+15] u/Eclectic_Beer_Tap: # FUCK U FUCK U FUCK U!!
there, I feel better now
[+14] u/night_shredder: I’m fucking tired of 9-5 grinding.
Next year I’m opening my hedge fund - no fundamentals, no TA, just vibes. I’ll get insights from your trades.
[+13] u/Ok_Advantage_8153: Google shares: Ho Lee Fuk
MSFT shares: Sum Ting Wong
[+12] u/Rude_Assistance_4386: Idk who needs to hear this but the first time you eat a break room donut, black out, and wake up getting your dick sucked by a racist broad.. That's not on you, nooo way you could seen that coming
Howeverr, if you then decide to continue eating the break room donuts....
[+10] u/im_mocking_youmoron: I’m not a big fan of fat people
[+10] u/wenxuan2: There is zero bear catalyst in the horizon lol. War doesnt matter, oil price dont matter, inflation also ignored. Zero bear catalyst
[+9] u/iBoughtYourCar: We thought the markets were fucked when gold went parabolic.
Here we are at ATH with parabolic oil lmao
[+9] u/wenxuan2: Still no signs of blow off top yet. From my previous experience a real blow off top will need a big ass wick on the daily candle where the price rejects. So far no signs of it. We are good to go.
[+9] u/Leather_Floor8725: Is that you brown boy?
[+8] u/Strict_Cut_799: Who else here bought SPY puts expiring tomorrow? ✋️✋️
[+8] u/Competitive_Ride: Not to be political or anything but if you’re at work keep it in your pants girls. Boys are just trying to work and gamble
[+8] u/RonBlake: I’m literally being gangstalked by the algos. The market is being manipulated solely to take my four figure account
[+7] u/photosynthescythe: Well today made me ridiculously rich, but this market volatility has fried my dopamine receptors I honestly don’t feel anything. Kinda concerned about that ngl
[+7] u/KingZacc: Full porting GOOG calls tomorrow. This market is fucking retarded
[+7] u/VenomBite214: META dip - thank you - i love buying dips. Already green!
[+7] u/RedRiptyde: get an internship at jpm
[+7] u/-IQ200: SPY put/call ratio is 2.76 tomorrow, squeeze or crash indefinitely.
Also, why is there 151K open interest for 510p lmao.
[+7] u/NiceOwner: Not a loss until I sell. But I am losing my sanity.
[+7] u/PossibleLack835: can we have a circuit breaker on USO or SPY tomorrow tyvm
[+7] u/SecurityFar1910: What is up with all the euphoria?
[+7] u/ballzstreetwets: SPY 750 is not a meme 😐
[+7] u/ClassroomNo2899: Moving like were all gonna be millionaires by tomorrow. It's fine though they have inflation under control 🤣🤣
[+7] u/flippyflop64: “Market analysts” tell you Iran war is fine as long as it doesn’t last months.
Iran war lasts months.
🌮 then admits today the war could last several more months.
Oil skyrockets on this news.
Stock market goes up a rare 1% (for 🌮’s current term), or more as if the Iran war never happened.
[+7] u/Smuvmuniz: Honestly how is it still pumping
[+7] u/PooPooPointBoiz: Dude the market is so fucking stupid.
How the fuck can MSFT shit the bed on massive earnings beats. Yet, GOOGL gets praise and goes up 10% because it grew more?
No shit GOOGL can grow more when they're starting from a smaller fucking cloud portfolio. Jesus christ this shit is stupid.
That's like saying China is better than the US in the 90's because they grew their 50 billion dollar economy by 10% and the US only grew by a measly 3%.
This shit is dumb as goddamn fuck.
[+7] u/Sea_Woodpecker1438: My 401k and IRA are absolutely cooking my gambling account is in the shitter. Go figure
[+6] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: its important to make the distinction between **MAG5** and **BAG2** from now on.
[+6] u/JohnKeyDonkey: I have never wanted a stock to fail as much as ASTS after visiting the ASTS subreddit.
[+6] u/Harp-Note: I feel like baking cookies today. Thoughts?
[+6] u/Samjabr: Ordered a new 52" monitor. Now I will be able to see my losses in even more detail!
[+6] u/Nanas_700k: Thanks for the 10$ a share John Apple
[+6] u/Christiano97: Did Wall Street have the lowest expeditions on the planet for tech earnings 😭💀
[+6] u/BeaverSack: Why do local banks love giving everyone the title of President and Vice President. It’s truly quite fake and ghey
[+6] u/QuantrixQuintrix: Dudes…is sndk actually undervalued?
[+6] u/cashflow_: Jumping in shower and going to casino 😎🤡
[+6] u/MrRobotFancy: still bullish on apple because it isn't shoveling 12 figures into a furnace annually
[+6] u/CallsOnlyGoUp: SPY: -1%
My port: -9% down
[+6] u/baadllama_ghost: welcome to the blow off top
[+5] u/PicklesAreTight: SNDK moves +- 10% daily lol what everyone tripping on
[+5] u/First_Incident9142: Sell in May and go way
[+5] u/OkEnd9276: Seems like hyperscalers have locked in their memory prices/orders for the next 3 years. If your buying memory stocks now, you banking on more ordering at these prices past 2028. A lot can happen in 3 years and hyperscalers are already looking for ways to run their LLMs on less memory. I think memory sector cools off here until market is sure memory will be just as needed in 5+ years as it is now.
[+5] u/Kevco571: imagine working at google in 2010 and forgetting that you got stock as part of your comp, only to log into your account for the first time in 2026. 😊
[+5] u/Onurb86: One rocket on Iran and this shit falls to pieces
[+5] u/financiallythriving: The biggest financial mistake you can make is to listen to doomer bears
[+5] u/No-Improvement3164: Imagine if everyone sold INTC before 🥭 and he bag holding
[+5] u/kenathen: best investment environment ever created
[+5] u/winner_in_life: My company laid me off. I found a competing startup that they now want to acquire for 5m lulz
[+5] u/mmmmmmmayhem: Holy crap. Buying SPY at $690 is gonna feel like when people bought SPY at $590. It’s never gonna touch 600s again. Soon it’ll be $800. Nuts.
[+5] u/Coloradospruce33: Need volunteers for a NFLX search party 🔦
[+5] u/No-Put2311: wtf why is SNDK drilling
[+5] u/Kyweedlover: Today I bought a 714 SPY for 74 and sold it for 97 for a quick 30% profit instead of holding it all day until it hit 550 and 600%+ profit. For free stock trading tips email me at
[email protected]
[+5] u/Fabulous_Guide_4330: Sir would you like to donate to decrease the national debt our oligarchs caused?
I’d rather shit in my hands and clap bitch
[+5] u/mtnrnnr802: RELEASE THE AAPL FILES!!!
[+5] u/mortalrem1nder: Devil was whispering in my ear up until close but I’m glad I sat that one out.
[+5] u/Jbball9269: If OpenAI is disgorged or even has to pay back a fraction of the claimed $134 billion in damages then the entire market except commodities have a black swan
[+5] u/Graefmf: How are my AAPL, RDDT, and RIVN calls?
[+5] u/e30jawn: The AI also doesn't want to live in Wyoming
[+5] u/Brodieischeese: That’s what I’ve been saying every day for the last 100 dollars, stocks only go up now and nothing makes sense
[+5] u/yeahyoubored: YANET YELLIN TALKING ABOUT ALLBIRDS ON CNN
“AI IS SO HOT…”
“BUBBLE LIKE ACTIVITY…”
“LIKE CRYPTO…”
[+5] u/eskhalaf: AAPL is ass in earnings moves
[+5] u/Visible_Ad_2271: TIM SAID BULLISH ON CALL
[+5] u/bzl33: why are a bunch of bot commenters talking about the $AAPL move when the implied move was 3.5-4% lol. All of you are making basically nothing unless it goes way up.
[+8] u/cryptohorn: I've never heard titties referred to as cannons so you know it's fake
[+7] u/unique_ptr: Why don't these motherfuckers just build all their data centers in Wyoming? There's literally nothing there! Land as far as the eye can see.
It's ripe for regulatory capture too. They could just jointly own the whole state and nobody would give a fuck.
[+7] u/FiveEggHeads: So 725 by open? This is retarded.
[+7] u/cryptohorn: WASHINGTON—The U.S. national debt now exceeds 100% of gross domestic product, crossing a once-unthinkable threshold, on the way toward breaking the record set in the wake of World War II.
Yea Jamie is right about a bond crisis.
[+7] u/bigboyvapesinc: God forbid a white boy hits on a 0DTE
[+7] u/cbusoh66: Dude's wife caught him and he made that shit up that he was forced to be sex slave or whatever.
[+6] u/iamjt: Fucks sake why am I back in the casino again
[+6] u/coolopinionlmao: I want to see those CANNONS
[+6] u/No_Arm_6582: I was really happy about the market today- but I went to fill my tank and the attendant said- 1 share of spy please - proceeded to purchase a plain pizza which cost me 1 share of apple
[+6] u/cannythecat: Oil going up is now bullish
[+6] u/Moped_Thief: RDDT pumping to $190 tomorrow would get me pretty rock hard.
[+6] u/SoloOutdoor: What kinda fuckn pussy gives up a promotion where you get pussy
[+6] u/HuckleberryFit4084: Work from home reenacted when gas gets to five dollars a gallon
[+6] u/Comfortable733: SPY 0DTE 800c at open?
[+6] u/zuziannka: I don’t really have anyone to share with, but I’ll write it here - I was looking at my ex-girlfriend’s pictures with me, and I feel like she’s gonna miss me a lot. I do think there’s no one out there like me.
[+6] u/AprilsSecretAccount: There should be a Twilight Zone or something where a customer comes in for bottomless shrimp but they don't read the fine print and they end up contractually obligated to consume shrimp for all of eternity.
Calls.
[+6] u/shalafien: My trading is like the Hawks in the playoffs. Maxretard
[+6] u/bearwithme23: reddit is actually undervalued
[+5] u/xeratice1: guys SNDK has been pumping for the whole year, did you really think it was going to pump further on good earnings? (i did fk)
[+5] u/Choice_Potato_6279: RDDT is the next MAG8 stonk
[+5] u/SuspiciousSpyderman: Thinking of applying to work at JP Morgan, i heard they have really good benefits there
[+5] u/L2F_mens_glutes: #man that JP Morgan exec who made that guy her $ex slave what a lucky mayne
She looked ok to
[+5] u/CC_dispenser: Calls JPM, motivated workforce due to extensive benefits package
[+5] u/Odd-Block-2998: Wendy's is so yesterday. Now, my top employer is JPM.
[+5] u/Sufficient_Insect812: Applying for a job in 2026 is a humiliation ritual. If it's corporate, that's even more humiliating. Better Jestermax and be on your best 'good boy' behaviour when upper management comes around.
[+5] u/ceteris62: POET faceripper coming tomorrow
[+5] u/ListerineInMyPeehole: Tim apple please say something good
[+5] u/knowmsayin: My 5/1 SPY 720C gonna be juicy tomorrow
[+5] u/Noble_Bastard: BJMorgan gonna push SPY to 800 within 30 days.
[+5] u/Sufficient_Insect812: Barber really upped the price to $60. In this economy my boy? I'ma buzz my shi clean off before I pay that. $17 Dolla China Cuts moving forward.
[+5] u/Shoganai_Hito: SNDK green by morning.
Puts r fukd and calls r fukd but will have a great day.
Loaded up 50 shares @ $999
[+5] u/darkmatter_drifter: Apple seems indecisive
[+5] u/Total_Schedule591: Dont be surprised by the Friday dump this week. It'll pick back up Monday 🐥 cacaww
[+5] u/bluen: I'm sleeping in a garbage bag
[+5] u/sudharsansai: LMAO SNDK green by open I told ya 🤌
[+5] u/NonBalisticSniper: Open the fuckin' Casino, you crazy Bastards
[+5] u/NonBalisticSniper: I still cannot fucking FATHOM that 🥭 would tweet his conversion to Islam on EASTER DAY
[+5] u/Thebaxxxx: Beavis without butthead wouldnt be a great life. But together they make it work, and thats what counts 😉
[+5] u/Butt_Stuff_Profile: I'm buying into OnlyFans for $250
[+5] u/Geoff_Dawmer: I don't like Sandisk. It’s coarse and rough and irritating… and it gets everywhere.
[+5] u/ListerineInMyPeehole: Posting about RDDT on Reddit
[+5] u/HaveAKlondike: Appl results not impressive
[+5] u/b1gb0n312: lol i was going to buy aapl, sndk, wdc and rblx calls
[+5] u/ThaddeusJP: Roblox: we're getting rid of chat
All the kids: NOOOOOO
Roblox: you'll be fine
Kids: F this platform I cant chat with my friends
Roblox: Why did our stock tank 20% today?
[+5] u/razor164: New Mag 7 just dropped.
Search
Cloud
YouTube
Waymo
Gemini
Android
Quantum Ai
[+5] u/ILikeWhatISee69420: BUY CALLS YOU STUPID FUCK.
[+5] u/tristis_veritas: Jfc they are literally never going to let it crash ever again.
[+5] u/rocier: How is RDDT, a site for communists, supposed to win in a capitalist market? HMMMM?
[+5] u/AllianceOrTheHorde: Companies are literally planning to pay 1500 bucks per person (at the bare minimum to do the job of an employee) just to replace a human with a slightly more advanced chatbot.
Sure, this could, if the tech bloody worked as advertised, make some people actually lose their job and it would be a net gain for the company. But this would only happen in countries, where people are absurdly expensive, of which there are very very few. Like the US is one of the only countries where this tech could make some people legit replaced. But the costs for AI are basically the same across the world, and i don't see how this sort of ai could ever truly replace a person even from advanced economies, like european countries.
And we've not even begun to discuss things like AI fuckups and the general idea that you can't exactly reprimand an AI for doing badly, which is a big deal for managers. They are all masochists and sadists. Don't underestimate them.
[+15] u/bullrfuk: #Red days are banned forever
[+14] u/Acceptable_Eagle_775: Fake ass war is only fought on nights & weekends. 😂
[+11] u/ozarkabottle: got my viagra. going to jpmorgan tomorrow boys
[+10] u/Bcider: To all you fat fucks out there, there is hope. I lost 70 pounds in the last 12 months the old fashioned way. No ozempic, no drugs. Just eating real food, counting calories, and working out. I was 37 years old and I hated what I ballooned into. Just got my dexa bf done today and I’m at 12%. Feelsgoodman.
And the best part is now I get to fat shame all the fatasses out there again.
[+10] u/zbossman42: I was playing cs2 with a soldjer and he said there gonna be missiles tmr so obviously full ported puts 🤞
[+9] u/ScarletHarpy93: All these noobs trying to chase a JPMC dominatrix when they forget that Deutsche Bank hotties funded Mango's piss tapes.
[+9] u/Spear_n_Magic_Helmet: today’s episode was sponsored by the word, “cannons”
[+9] u/gentlesandwich: Idk why but I thoroughly despise AAPL: I hate that they sold out invaluable U.S. tech to China just so they can keep making their phones for pennies. I hate that their brand targets a demo of condescending cunts who think they're superior because they have a stupid fucking iPhone. I hate that I literally cannot watch apple shows without purchasing an apple device.
Meanwhile they pretend to be so liberal and free thinking yet they are literally the most exploitative company in the world. Apple and its sycophants can eat shit in a 3rd world gutter.
[+8] u/Get_dat_money: Look, I'm just asking for SPY to open above 730.
Is that so damn much of an ask
[+8] u/DENIMSHORTS_840SCORE: Bers giving a bj -
*pop* "uhhmmm actually the vwap"
[+8] u/Yogurt_Up_My_Nose: in this 1 month, I've made almost my annual salary. ~$115k
[+8] u/BikerNY: WHY DO YOU KEEP BUYING PUTS?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?!?!
[+7] u/SomePolack: War restarts this weekend
[+7] u/ABPIR89: After much careful consideration, my money and I have agreed to see other people.
[+7] u/Top-Meaning2626: Black friday, Saturday, Sunday, monday
[+7] u/svpa3991: Grinding 9-5 has a different meaning based on if you the jpm executive or Indian dude wife lmao
[+7] u/dqdg: So the stock market, worth zillions of dollars, closes for the night, and I have to answer emails, worth 0$, after hours.
[+7] u/OneContract7938: Gas just hit $5 and I’m sure it will be $6 by July 4th, calls on e-bikes
[+7] u/Mathguy200: NVDA ATH tomorrow, that drop was bullshit
[+7] u/GuiltyShirt3771: Dollar down stock up. Ignore the noise
[+7] u/Top-Meaning2626: Lorna can make that go away if you fuck her brains out
[+6] u/IceCreamButt69: okay fine ill admit defeat. my bear tendencies have ravaged my port. ggs
[+6] u/Useful_Donut6789: honestly can't believe a company sold 111 billion dollars worth of apples in a quarter. thats just insane
[+6] u/UsernameTaken_123: If banks had mandatory drug tests 90% of their employees would be fired overnight
[+6] u/_hopkins: Please RDDT go to 180 tomorrow
[+6] u/Open-Lifeguard-3206: Keep shorting Intel I guess
[+6] u/MinePrestigious4352: Is roblox stock rekt for good? (Personally if I had a kid I would never let them use it unless I was literally sitting right next to them)
[+6] u/Retaining-Wall: Isn't that shit like fuckin weirdo central?
[+6] u/DrNSFW007: This is regarded, haven’t been this bearish in a while and I know the market is going to rip my face off but I can’t help it, gotta short this.
[+6] u/Majestic_Natural_361: !banbet SPY 730.69 1d
[+6] u/tnecniv2021: One day bol will wake up to alien probing and covered in cum like those alien hentai porn videos I sometimes jerk to.
[+5] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: This is in fact the only good thing about being an adult
[+5] u/Hot-You-7366: why doesnt the unemployment report take into account people who work gig/part time. or have been out of work longer than 1.5 years. or take into account promotions that never happened. or take into account demotions in terms of lower hours or wages for the same job due to AI
[+5] u/skymagic: that JP Morgan story really taught me something about this sub I didn't know before
^(sorry just practicing in case that ever happens)
[+5] u/TreGet234: Sndk dip will get bought in 5 nanoseconds. New ath by open. Rip your stupidly expensive calls though.
[+5] u/Rosebunse: Those poor sloths in Florida. It's crazy that over 50 of them died and several of them tested positive for a new virus. I don't understand how you could put that much money into such a business venture.
[+5] u/hiphopanonomos: Crazy after a historic bull run Gold just sits there now existing, does nothing ever
[+5] u/btoned: Some idiot really make bank (bet on red) with META puts and then put it all on SNDK calls (bet on black) for next week after like a 5000% run up. 😂😂😂
[+5] u/Bichael-Murry: guh ber going extinct
[+5] u/I_pop_Jardiance: SNDK pumping AH lol 😆
[+5] u/Iscratchmybutt: FIG’s bull run finna be massive like JPM exec cannons
[+5] u/JohanLiebert92: Why can't a woman like the JP Morgan hoe ever find me, unfair life
[+5] u/OK_Computer10101: I just treated myself to the finest Wendy’s dumpster BJ. I paid extra for the “gummy” bear. I hate teeth on my green candle
[+5] u/KyleNoThumbs319: Anyone checked the microbiome of their gfs vagina before ? I hear it’s tough to get in the top 1%
[+5] u/InvestigatorWooden33: Hey, you, quit watching the SPY porn and go wash your ass. Sittin in ya day ass ya nasty FUCK
[+5] u/BFox1982: What's the point of fat people now that we have Ozempic?
[+5] u/uncsucks: Nothing I can really do other than laugh
[+5] u/Comfortable-Gap-9775: sndk what happened uhhhhh
[+16] u/Due-Dirt-8428: If anyone here is feeling extra depressed lately I wanted to know if I could send you a DM so I could get some of your Spotify playlists. Looking for some new music and depressed people always have the best taste in music
[+11] u/HonestScar7176: No shit that jpm story was fake. A woman of that caliber isn’t wasting her time with some long headed Indian dude lol.
[+10] u/spellbadgrammargood: Sam Altman is Sam Bankman-Fried but with Ai
[+10] u/Happy-n-Healthy: Mr. 720 TEAR DOWN THIS WALL!
[+9] u/Delicious_Put_5857: i been sneezin for like 4 mins what if i never stop
[+9] u/BecomingSavior: Believe it or not, calls
[+8] u/SeliciousSedicious: “Would you still love me if I were a worm?”
“Would you still love me if you saw what I shitposted on Reddit?”
[+8] u/mehmilani: It's time jp rebrands to BJ Morgan
[+8] u/AndItsThetaAgain: I’ve actually been commenting a lot less lately 😤 I’m being very good
[+8] u/mags87: $400 GOOGL by noon tomorrow.
[+7] u/trent_upscale: I volunteer to be roofied and blowed
[+7] u/I_am_Nerman: So Japan slammed oil futures last night which led to the pump today. Coordinated with Bessent.
[+7] u/RobotPimpLibertyBell: The fish head no bobs asian wife must be wild if he was crying during the bj.
[+7] u/BlindBullseye_1988: like real talk, we In a bubble lol
[+7] u/Agreeable-Spare9195: So tomorrow? Banbet it, no balls
[+6] u/spudbro00: Holy fuck thank god I rolled my puts this morning saved myself 20k more in losses.
Printed on fbook puts today though.
The Ponzi scheme going to 730
[+6] u/swampassOG: Buying 7dte SPY puts at open and you'll do nothing about it
[+6] u/KundaliniVibes: Jesus fucking Christ Apple you just had earnings get the fuck outta here with this 50 cent range bullshit. FUCK
[+6] u/dash_trash4255: Can one of you smooth brains explain to me how long the central banks can keep this oil charade up? Like will it fail at some point?
[+5] u/Altair82: Gonna buy the MA and NVDA dip
Those knives need catchin'
[+5] u/Thisispaartaaa: ok whats this jp morgan thing? From what I can gather on here, it has something to do with a toothy blowjob, and banking...I'm genuinely interested.
[+5] u/GuyFieriFrostedTips: So I quit drinking for a while and am having horrible sugar cravings, obviously from having so much less sugar in my diet. How many Arnold Palmers is too many Arnold Palmers?
[+5] u/mehmilani: You wanna know the real reason why NVDA dumped while spy rocketed today? I sold my puts for a measly profit yesterday.
[+5] u/DesignerSea494: Sometimes I watch old Mr. Rogers clips just to remember someone once believed in me, even genetically.
[+5] u/bardhizi: Don’t you know pump it up..u got to pump it up…
[+5] u/Genteel_Ole_Chap: Bagholder bagholder bagholder I'm a bagholder
[+5] u/Genteel_Ole_Chap: And in the end, the bubble was us
[+5] u/I_am_Nerman: The whole Lorna JP Morgan thing was completely fabricated lol. Chirayu Rana didn't even report to her.
https://x.com/gabriel_horwitz/status/2049979928028876904
*A colleague described Rana as "socially awkward" but someone who "met the requirements" to stay at the bank.*
Which one of you is this?
[+5] u/swampassOG: At your Mom's house eating all the cheese sticks and teddy grahams rn
[+5] u/WoodsmanAla: imagine losing money buying puts on the same platform you use every day to post about losing money buying puts
[+5] u/StonksInvesteur: You’re telling that we’re… not CRASHING???? Oh, what a deception
[+5] u/Lanky_Chard3288: Trade calls(no puts) M-F, deliver bombs on the weekends when the market is closed. Average American life.
[+5] u/joan_goodman: A new investor on West Digital corporation is born today, it looks like. Gotta carry this bag for a while now.
[+5] u/Robo_e: Plz don’t dump RDDT😭
[+5] u/crazyeugene: I did go balls deep at close today with 205 calls expiring tomorrow. Might have to film my guh moment!!
[+8] u/GrapefruitUnusual472: SanDisk green by open?
[+7] u/Bill_Clintons_Desk5: Buying more SNDK and WDC. Going to run until it doesn’t
[+7] u/ddrsdght: The great reset is SPY going up 25% / year while NPCs go broke from the price of gas
[+7] u/synthetic350: So what do we pump after semi conductors?
[+7] u/Heineken_500ml: Wtf is this pump holy shit SPY up over 10% in a month
[+7] u/Mustang1011: Calls on JPM. Lorna is my queen.
[+7] u/piss_stored_in_balls: I crossed $420k today for the first time. I would like to share this to the void
[+6] u/CasherburyTales: I made 240k today so I’m out. I have my 5 mil. Signing off
[+6] u/Joonypoo: WHEN YOU GO MID CAP HUNTING FOR GAINS AND KEEP FAILING
BUT THEN YOU REALISE GOOGLE IS UP 146% IN 1Y
[+6] u/jijitalk: I just realized.... Tom the fat fucking cuck lee was right for once, we are way past 700 by the end of april. WTF.
[+6] u/Lurk_Maximus: Riders of Rohan what news from the mark?
[+6] u/solidsneeze: overcooked the unemployment number today and made it the lowest in 54 years. oops
[+6] u/Airader: SanDisk barely staying above 1000
[+6] u/BlackKnightsOptions: I love this very small corner in a very large pile of shit
[+5] u/The_Irishman_05: They're taking the hobbits to Isengard
[+5] u/Arya_Warrior_Girl: This might be the end of META and the rise of RDDT
[+5] u/tacosforlife455: Tim Apple thinking about making an offer for the Seahawks… yeah AAPL is coming through for earnings today!
[+5] u/Visible_Sentence_399: Weren’t we going to blow up Iran like 2 weeks ago??
[+5] u/ILoveWesternCenter: No crying in the casino
[+5] u/Jamiroquietly: The next iPhone is nothing but a storage drive with AI..lesgoo
[+5] u/IndependentUsual7444: Meta, MSFT and Nvda dumped but we went +1%. And you're bearish?
[+5] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #LGBT community in shambles after timmy apple leaves them hanging
[+5] u/Ok-Cut-6064: Chances of +4% Spy rally tomorrow?
[+5] u/TendiemanOurSavior: Buying more $RDDT. It should gap to $212 by next quarter off their numbers and guidance. Just has to break through a few key levels.
$700M revenue, only $1M capex, $300M operating cashflow, ad revenue up 74% (including international growth), 125M active users, 91.5% gross margin, etc.
[+5] u/ChipWong82: Anyone buy rddt aftermarket today?
[+13] u/WooWheee: What at the chances Iran gets bombed at 8:01pm est tomorrow?
[+11] u/Mettabreaks: Why is Mangoe so quiet? It's not doing well enough for him to stop pumping. He knows he can't play the strait open strait closed script anymore...is he finally gonna end a civilization?
[+9] u/silverbulls8: One more pump tomorrow before the real dumping begins next week.
[+9] u/LarsTarkas: I was tempted to get a spy 717 0dte call today but decided against it because I thought there was no way it would pump that hard. Turns out I'm the fucking retard
[+8] u/plzplzplztendies: This was the first time I’ve heard an Indian did not want to see bobs and vagene. What is the world coming to.
[+8] u/plzplzplztendies: JP Morgan executive: “want to see my bobs and vagene?”
JP Morgan employee: “no.”
Me: “bro, what?
[+7] u/Fluid_Product6292: 60 days is up tomorrow no?
[+7] u/Gom_KBull: **Given you are all fat fucks, here's a tip:**
Never say you are on a **diet**. Always say you are **cutting**.
Diet means you are fat and ashamed, cutting means its all part of your plan.
[+7] u/EasyBoard9971: uso calls 🥭is cooking up something this weekend i feel it
[+6] u/perceptive_AI: We have achieved AGI (Artificial Goblin Intelligence) in 2026.
[+6] u/BeepBoopDep: Lmao dumb bers never learn
[+6] u/Traditional_Base1184: Got rear ended today by a guy going 65mph while I was stopped. Luckily no injuries and the car has slight dent damage. Bad news, it's a tesla. Gonna do the body work myself and enjoy the process since my insurance didn't have uninsured motorist coverage. Lesson learned, pay for good ass insurance fellow regards. Don't be me
[+5] u/tortu995: Micron today is like nvdia at 300/400 (pre 10x split, current 30/40) in 2024, so obvious yet so many afraid to pull the trigger. It also makes zero sense that it's priced as if it's cycle peaked and the s&p not pricing recession (what comes after ai peaks), either micron belongs way way higher or the s&p way way lower.
[+5] u/RJNavarrete: Buying more $USAR, $NVDA, $MU, $VRT, and $MRVL.
[+5] u/BoostMobileGuy: A lot of simping going on here for jp Morgan executive
[+5] u/Fearless-Area-532: Buying as much intel intc as I can before the apple fab announcement and Google packaging deal are announced
[+5] u/foxasintheanimal: Lot of you simps don't realize that the power kink doesn't work unless you don't want to do something. Your desire removes you from the pool of qualified applicants.
[+5] u/It-hurts-whenIP: I got a lot of toys
720 SPY bumpin fall out boy 🎶
[+5] u/PinealTone: US Democratic Senator Richard Blumenthal said during a CNN interview that he has the “impression from some of the briefings”, as well as from other sources, that “an imminent military strike is very much on the table”.
Buy your Calls and since Oil will go up so will SPY.
[+5] u/dizzlemcshizzle: The same thing we do every day, Pinky.
[+5] u/RevealFit9288: RDDT don’t fuck me again plz
[+5] u/Bulgy_Moose_ST: Apple is the big guy right? This will decide the direction of the market unitl NVDA earnings
[+5] u/Maxcharged: SNDK 800 put gang checking in(no not tomorrow expiry)
[+5] u/digdugbug: Apple beats but stock down? Ok.
[+15] u/nyse25: hormuz was sooooooo april 2026
[+10] u/dontslambro: I lost a shit ton of money trying to call the top in April. Fugg mee
[+8] u/fitnessfinance88: I guess the only revolution is getting rich.
[+8] u/nyse25: once covid is over this month Im finally finding a girlfriend
[+7] u/youarenut: Google about to hit 390 what the actual fuck
[+7] u/2Hosslovescash: Imagine having a boss.
[+7] u/NoFuckingValue: JPM obvious buy. Dudes are gonna be paying to work there. Profits are gonna rise as wages fall.
[+7] u/yushey__: Just got my contract renewed at my job . And another six months of making $110 an hour doing jack shit.
[+7] u/OnlyTendies69: Resisting the urge to edge
[+6] u/SnooShortcuts7911: Trump assured the nation that gas prices will drop like a rock when the war with Iran ends. The problem is the war may not end for a long time, and even when it does, risk premiums will remain high, as peace may not last. Plus, demand may spike as nations rush to build reserves.
[+6] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: Gonna wait until the "peace" deal is announced officially and then full port 0dte puts for the day after.
[+6] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: Ber like candle go red, like favorite crayon
Ber also sleep on side walk
[+6] u/Sharp-Direction-6894: I wish I had an attractive boss with nice tits who forced me to fuck her brains out every day before leaving work.
[+5] u/thatmitchguy: Reddit crushing earnings to end up where they were last week...and then the week before that...and then the week before that.
[+5] u/No_Corgi44: Loading up heavy on oil/LNG/helium going into the weekend.
Iran just activated air defense systems against reconnaissance drones. UAE is urging its citizens to leave Iran, Lebanon, and Iraq "immediately and return home, citing regional developments."
[+5] u/Objective_Back_2581: Futes already green, ber already fuk
[+5] u/PissedItDownMyLeg: Ngl I would have folded, would have had her bent over the desk right away
[+5] u/Ok_Ambassador_4311: Below my option call was +8,400.00 wtf
[+5] u/TheoryInttro: A new bag holder touches the beacon!
[+5] u/2Hosslovescash: We need a substantial minimum net worth WSB - free of bots, basement dwellers and daily news experts.
[+5] u/varnalama: Man so far I would have been better holding cash instead of brkB. Oof.
[+5] u/chikenbeer: Insane how I was down -50K YTD and after April I'm up +38K YTD
[+12] u/AirportMaterial5917: Has anybody else found god lately
[+12] u/Spiritual-Figure358: the way you sleep when u hold stocks vs options is DIFFERENT
[+11] u/90kDenier: Another day bag holding space stocks, another day closer to stock-skeptic wife inevitability finding out about my shit ass portfolio
Greetings from Japan
[+10] u/gloomyglooom: When will it be mine turn to be an office sex slave for an executive? 😔
[+7] u/Unitron07: #SNDK to $3000 tmr LMAO 🤌
[+7] u/n1ck90z: > Toto shares soared as much as 18%, the most on record, in Tokyo after the toilet maker said it plans to ramp up investment in its chip components business due to strong AI demand
How can you be bearish right now?
[+7] u/Trashpanda7193: If Sndk goes less that 1k gonna use my savings and buy as much as I can. What could go wrong.
[+6] u/ComprehensiveKiwi489: a woman is like a condom they both spend way more time in your wallet than on your D
[+6] u/Academic_Lock_1699: And my dumb ass bought RDDT at 110 and sold at 90 back then for an 8k loss 🤦
[+6] u/Adrian12094: \> her name is hajdini
\> literally means "outlaw" in albanian
did kojima write this shit?
[+6] u/InevitablePie2535: HAVE YOU EVEN SAID THANK YOU TODAY
[+6] u/zetia2: Nvda up to 230 today?
[+6] u/kawkface: Everything is priced in
Fuck
[+6] u/McKoijion: The New York Post is really going out of their way to run damage control for JP Morgan. Lol they randomly picked today to run this story about an allegedly (verbally) abusive Indian executive at JP Morgan who moved to Citigroup over 2 years ago.
https://nypost.com/2026/04/30/business/citi-paid-ex-jpmorgan-banker-52m-bullying-allegations-report/
[+6] u/QPRCHOC: Starting to think I should take some profit on GOOG. This doesn’t feel sustainable.
[+5] u/Global-Layer6530: I'm gonna need the bitcoin up front
[+5] u/Dry-Syrup-882: What hap w Apple, not able to listen to calll, in a meeting
[+5] u/ManBearPig_576: Yeh who wants 110bn every quarter forever, fucking worthless
[+5] u/Prestigious_Deal_216: soooo that women did nothing wrong
[+5] u/rbraalih: Look at a pic of her and a pic of him and take a guess
[+5] u/Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpp: Will RDDT gap 30% or a paltry 20% tomorrow
[+5] u/Simran-0: If intel hits 90k we can pay off the national debt
[+5] u/donkeybray: I'm going to sleep so I don't panic sell. 7 hours till market open. So if I wake up and sees red I sleep back.
[+5] u/Leading-Future6691: Sndk not even 10% down .. too bad
[+13] u/sanmar2225: #when ya down so big the sleep is great. nothing can happen overnight that I need to see
[+12] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: You know, I’m something of a “brown boy Indian” myself
[+9] u/TipEmpty8429: Advice for a true 10. I hate a number score thing as each woman is beautiful in their own way and everyone is ultimately a 10. But a colloquial 10 knows they are a 10. The date is not really to get to know you as they already find something appealing enough about you to be interested - and a 10 has learnt not give pity dates by now, instead the date is a test (whether they themselves even consciously realise it).
Go all out. Put effort into your appearance, clothes, and even your shoes (men often miss the shoes). Even if poor try to go to a nice place - it’s a sign of respect for her time. Being a great person, putting in effort and giving great experiences (don’t have to be expensive) is worth more than looks for many women.
Also note, the big mistake many men make is putting effort into the woman and not themselves. dressing well, smelling great and even little things like having your car clean… all things women appreciate
Source: life long womanizer
[+8] u/Fast-Steak-7730: puts are free money when VIX is 16
[+8] u/TipEmpty8429: I touch some things on a little screen and can make more money in a few seconds than working 60hours at the brake pad factory
[+8] u/Syllabub_Visual: Okay has anyone seen any signs of life of the 700k intc guy because if he’s still holding nana would be really proud…
[+7] u/Soffatjockis: Oil going up again
Mango gonna do something stupid this weekend?
[+7] u/andytobbles: Can I volunteer to be the next boy that’s abused by a hot exec with some nice bazongas
[+7] u/Strangerdanger8812: Apparently my body likes 3hrs and 45mins of sleep... ill stay in bed for 10 though
[+7] u/Psychological_Fly109: Man living in a third world country sucks,
On the bright side we have free health care and baked beans
[+7] u/Apple2o: Glad I got 5 RDDT shares on that generational dip
[+7] u/JiffKewneye-n: VIX is now lower than before the war.
[+7] u/AudiRick_: 720 spy and 105 oil is crazy
[+7] u/pussinbuuts: imagine how much more software would've rallied if RDDT and TEAM reported first instead of that turd NOW
[+6] u/Syllabub_Visual: I sincerely genuinely can’t imagine what it’s like to be 79 years old and have a desire to be a dictator that still hasn’t come true yet. Supposedly age is supposed to make you more mature…
[+6] u/ithastogoupfromhere: there will be a lot of oil loss porn
[+5] u/imisstheoldKanye-: googl 400 next week pls
[+5] u/rugbyliebe: Imagine having to work on May 1st because you live in a third world country.
[+5] u/leontes: Oooh Apple is up now
[+5] u/kairepaire: The cannons? The fish face? It was all fake?
https://nypost.com/2026/04/30/business/bombshell-jpmorgan-sex-harassment-suit-that-went-viral-branded-complete-fabrication-as-john-doe-accuser-unmasked/
[+5] u/Own-Wolverine-5361: I want to work ar jp morgan 🫦
[+5] u/LakeShowForLife24: Let’s go Apple! It’ll lift up the whole market tmrw
[+5] u/Effective_Throat6127: Should have bought RDDT
[+17] u/Due-Refrigerator2306: we may be the last generation to ever witness a red day
[+14] u/The_Juice_Gourd: I identify as a naughty brown boy
[+13] u/TheYearGuesser: Been using my trading skills at my day job.
Just cost the company $1000.
[+10] u/Viktri1: kicking myself for only purchasing 200 reddit shares yesterday.
HOOD and MSFT put the fear of god into me
[+10] u/Thoughtful_Tortoise: My portfolio is up 44.78% in the last month and I still feel like I'm losing money.
[+9] u/TopRaise7: Not gonna lie.. need a full fledged war to save my port.
[+9] u/jackpearson2788: Love how Brent crude June contract hit a 4 year high and the market basically said so what look at these earnings babbyyyyy
[+9] u/jackpearson2788: Guys got a record like the NY Mets
[+9] u/llasar17: weird way to say you suck at interviews
[+8] u/ittrut: Reddit could double and still be reasonably priced
[+8] u/UnknownM007: I just sharted at work and wearing beige chinos
[+8] u/DepartureAnxious5115: Ai will continue to rocket as I use it to now build a billion applications to be a JPM Junior Analyst.
[+7] u/cloud_cafe: Europoor markets are closed :(
[+7] u/NoodHigga69: I am in japan right now, how do I ignite yen carry trade unwindation?
[+7] u/Waste-Ad-8715: I just wanna see some cannons 😩
[+6] u/InitiativeGlum2507: Friendly reminder to disable your broker's securities lending program
[+6] u/hioman01: Software is fucking AI today
[+6] u/OrangMiskin: Chips are free falling LMAO
[+6] u/Several_Bread_9144: I had reddit calls but of course i couldnt tell you regards. You paper hands would make the stock collapse if you bought
[+6] u/NBNC2: Gotta love how companies will auto send you a useless we have received your application email but ghost you after an actual interview 🤡
[+5] u/The_Judgement_Nut: Dumping sndk because they priced in 40 eps instead of 23 which is a 100% increase qoq?
Hedge funds are retarded.
Im buying all the dips.
[+5] u/YouDontKnowDino: SPY is almost up $100 in the past month. Just pure insanity
[+5] u/CurveAhead69: Some guys saw that guys face and believed a woman would actually hit on him instead of calling HR and an exorcist…
[+5] u/dynamic-burrito: Got $250k in cash, 1 glorious trade to Valhalla?
[+5] u/StandardDot5115: ARRR JP MORGAN DEPLOY CANNONS
[+5] u/Thick_Supermarket254: Do I hold rddt calls through open!? Up 310%