▶ Full Post Text
[+35] u/OSRSkarma: IMAGINE STILL COMMENTING IN THE OTHER THREAD
[+23] u/AndThisGuyPeedOnIt: Strait? Closed.
Ceasefire? Violated.
Negotiations? Off.
Of yeah, it's le epic ATH pump time.
[+20] u/Prometheus013: Nothing. Lost all my money on puts. Done.
[+19] u/Fancy_Goat685: I'm buying more puts. Fuck you bulls. At some point the market hits reality.
[+18] u/OSRSkarma: Had to summon this manually because reddits backend servers seem to be somewhere in the middle east
[+17] u/pleasestoptalkin: Israel has like a 0-30 record at honoring ceasefire agreements lmao
[+17] u/Sorry-Tumbleweed-336: https://preview.redd.it/mqnpaun911ug1.png?width=1536&format=png&auto=webp&s=238cd38a91108b5d12f3a65921d90ef14cd70810
[+14] u/youbenchbro: The mods are so drunk they wrote April 8th again.
[+14] u/abroadbroadband: 🗣️ WE GET A REDO TOMORROW, BLESSED BE THE MODS
# April 8th
# Round 2
CALLS CALLS CALLS!
[+13] u/Moepenmoes: Fuckin' finally. Praise be to Allah.
[+13] u/Specialist_Fig9458: Only 4 ships went through the strait today, lowest number in all of April. So really it would be more accurate to say the ceasefire decreased shipping through the strait LMAOOOO
[+12] u/llasar17: Today wasn't real!!! My puts will print tomorrow on the 8th!!!
[+11] u/looool_k_libtard: 24 minutes late on moves tomorrow thread. I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever been more angry in my life. There are 9 new holes punched in my wall because of this and I refuse to pay for repairs.
[+11] u/ten7four: Open the Fuckin' Tomorrow thread, you crazy mod bastards! Praise be to Allah.
[+11] u/FreonJunkie96: At this point a magic 8 ball would have more success
[+11] u/MrBlueEyedFox: Its wild we rocket +2% an absolutely nothing has changed except for bers attitudes.
[+10] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: Mods replaced by Israel
[+10] u/jay4281: I just need SPY to open at 660 tomorrow.. then I’ll be even😭😭😭🥀
[+10] u/Perfectly_Splendid89: I'm 100% cash but I played some casino with small amounts and made $170 today.
I withdrew the money already and I'm going to eat steak tonight. real one.
sometimes I make 5-10k in a day and feel nothing but this $170 felt so good.
[+10] u/orrangearrow: Australia runs out of oil in a week. I'm looking forward to some Road Warrior style tourism
[+10] u/ajibtunes: So what’s stopping US from continuing with bridge day and power plant day at this point?
[+9] u/user365735: How is the strait open if 4 ships apparently crossed today, the lowest level in April 🐡
[+9] u/MissMatriarch: April 8th tomorrow?
Groundhog Day confirmed.
[+9] u/2020isgreat: I'm about to let my oil futures contract deliver so I can hoard them to make the crisis just a bit worse
[+9] u/Available_Way_355: MODS
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
[+9] u/abroadbroadband: The mods don't know what the FUCK they're doing
😡
[+9] u/Moepenmoes: This morning I placed an order right before open to buy positions at open without price cap
Now I lost -10% on a green day even though all my positions are green
[+9] u/imunfair: > Earlier, Iranian Parliament Speaker Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf said on his X account that three clauses of Iran’s 10-point proposal have been "openly and clearly violated" - including a proposed ceasefire in Lebanon.
>
> Vance says he's seen the post and takes it as a positive. If there are only three points of contention, that signals broad agreement, the vice-president says.
Bro, accusing you of violating a full three of the points in less than 12 hours is completely different than saying there are only three points of contention out of the ten.
If you compare the ten points to the fifteen points Trump had, and the things both parties have said about the respective lists, basically every point is in contention, and many points that are requirements for one side are red lines for the other side. Zero chance of a meaningful deal unless Trump drops all his red lines, allows them to have nuclear weapons, etc, and I don't see that happening.
[+9] u/YungIrv: Trusting jd with our bags? Puts it is…
[+8] u/AsgardWarship: Old people who complain about kids not being able to do stuff like use a rotary phone are also the same type of people who crash out when using a self checkout machine.
[+8] u/PopularCut4124: That will be 2 bucks a comment
[+8] u/fuck_zebster: Mods taco’d and ended up posting the new thread .
[+8] u/darth_scion: **The straight is now gay**
[+7] u/MissMatriarch: It’s suspiciously quiet on Truth Social…
Guys I think he might actually be dead.
[+7] u/Ok_Bar231: I put my wife‘s downpayment for our House on a gold call. Am I single now ?
[+7] u/GTFOScience: Have they announced which 2 weeks they’re doing the ceasefire?
[+7] u/optimaltimemism: We're in a time loop. Buy puts at open everyone!
[+7] u/A10cc: # WHY IS THIS STILL FOR THE 8TH? WTF
[+7] u/Demonic_Maidens: Mods so smart they could be president
[+7] u/readyreadyreadyready: Cash and puts only. Strait is closed and oil runs out in Australasia within a week. They’ll sell everything for a taste of that sweet black nectar
[+7] u/MissMatriarch: 🥭 Did totally annihilate the world, and this is endless purgatory where apparently every next day is April 8th.
[+7] u/Complete-Desk-2958: Thank allah this thread is here now, I almost lost it.
[+7] u/Largeshmarge: Karoline Leavitt sprayed us all with nothing ever happens. Drenched
[+7] u/ApathysLastKiss_: Forces of evil in a Bozo nightmare
[+7] u/soad1331: I made $33 today. I gave up options and only do shares now. Feels good to not be so stressed out.
[+6] u/ProudPeak3570: it must suck to lose weight and realize you're still ugly
[+6] u/Glittering_Let6527: So we're going to relive the same shitty day again tomorrow? How to escape the matrix?
[+6] u/SilverPrivateer: US is "no longer responsible for the Strait," hopes that "everyone has fun"
[+6] u/callsonreddit: Bought puts and made money
I might be gay
[+6] u/MissMatriarch: MODS thought today was so ass, they decided we must re-do April 8th tomorrow
[+6] u/GoldenAries4: I’m thinking another pump day tomorrow at first, but big dump very soon.
I’m still in cash
[+6] u/Dizzy-Helicopter-374: Has anyone gotten the NFL Peace Prize winner involved in the cease fire negotiations?
[+6] u/Only-Cranberry-4502: Lol uk people never are going to be able to see a kanye concert
[+6] u/Material_Formal3679: Talking about Israel is so funny now. It’s like talking about Michael Jackson.
Some people REALLY don’t want to hear that shit. Most of know he did that shit.
[+6] u/cashflow_: I went and exchanged millions of pesos that I won to dollars so I don’t keep going to casino and lose it
This has been a cashflow gambling update
[+5] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/TeslaLeafBlower made a bet that TSLA would go to 385.0 within **22 hours** when it was 355.524 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 2 wins and 188 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+5] u/No-Sympathy-686: TOM FAT CUCK LEE SAYS SPY TO FUCKING JUPITER
[+5] u/Pury101: Yes I think you can only make money and keep it in this market if you have inside information 💀
[+5] u/kal14144: Maybe I’ll short Tessler because in any ber scenario they drop and they probably don’t moon even in a bul scenario
[+5] u/4sKompany: Poly market should run daily OVER/UNDER on number of ships that make it through the straight every 24 hours
[+5] u/darth_scion: Remember when you could sleep at night?
[+5] u/ToroLoco_TL: It's wrong 😡. It's April 09!!!
[+5] u/softboiledjadepotato: Ceasefire's off, it's rally time!!!
[+5] u/throwawayokayy-: concepts of moderation
[+5] u/Material-Drummer9476: Time to bring back up the files and Trump will pump the market again.
[+5] u/_rockthemike: Had the biggest gain of my short trading career today and I am so happy.
[+5] u/jerm2z: We all knew the mods would taco with this new thread. So predictable
[+5] u/SnickersTheDog: will they call the tactical nuclear strike 'historic' or 'unprecedented' ?
[+5] u/Rock_Flaccid: A 2.5% up day is somehow also the flattest feeling day of all time
[+5] u/Top_Replacement_8502: I don’t wanna wait….FOR OUR LIVES TO BE OVERRRRRR 🎶
[+5] u/astrawberryandakiwi: I moved to 99% cash. Only people making ones are doing insider training
[+5] u/saduglystoopid: BERS "ThIS mARkeT dOeSNT maKE SEnsE"
Market :D 🖕
[+38] u/No_Current3675: Not sure I can reasonably handle working for another 15 years.
[+27] u/LeagueofData: Listen.
We’re at 27 days of 20% of the world oil supply disappearing.
if you don’t buy puts it’s cause you’re straight.
[+24] u/HappyFlyday: Holding cash. Not trusting this ceasefire bullshit
[+24] u/ShitStainStoop: A total of four ships passed through the Strait of Hormuz today, less than in any other day in April including before the ‘ceasefire’ began
[+21] u/hallett21: At least everyone will get a turn being wrong this week lmfao
[+21] u/Optimal-Midnight4295: If he just does a fake ceasefire once a week imagine how many wars he can say he ended by the time it’s actually over.
[+20] u/saw-it: The META insider who went from 10k to 900k deleted their account. We know that was you Barron.
[+20] u/ThermalChaser: The year is 2097. Spy is still 675. Mechamango has extended the deadline for the 37000th time.
[+20] u/AllianceOrTheHorde: Well onto more positive news, public support for NASA is literally at an all-time high. It's sitting at 80% currently. Back in the 1960s only 46% of people supported the moon program, with many saying the viet-fucking-nam war was more important, with NASA favorability dropping down to 39% with the public by 1970. Last time NASA favorability reached 70% or above was back in 1990
TLDR: People love space all of a sudden.
[+19] u/tombrady011235: Seems like every party had its own version of the ceasefire agreement
[+19] u/NOKIABUMPS69: This war more than likely lasts the entirety of 🥭presidency. Hope that helps
[+18] u/NOKIABUMPS69: Is the ceasefire in the room with us?
[+18] u/marcus55: Yahoo finance just showed -6% on spy for like 10 seconds is this an omen
[+18] u/Optimal-Midnight4295: BREAKING: 🥭is set to receive the newly introduced Burger King peace prize for implementing the ceasefire that lasted 20 minutes in Iran
[+17] u/Europeanroadbycar: Less than 24 hours ceasefire... Unreal what a bloody joke...
[+17] u/tails2729: It would be kinda funny if years from now Barron went on a year long crash out thread posting loss after loss because he actually through he was a financial genius
[+17] u/zuziannka: SPY going 380 tomorrow
[+16] u/jeezuspieces: Just having daydreams about what my life would be like if I dumped $3,000 into calls yesterday
[+16] u/lcarltbmx: yesterday they were saying lebanon was included now their sayin it isnt and then they tariff china 50% yeah this saga isnt over yet stay tuned.
[+16] u/tnecniv2021: There’s like 800 ships/tankers stuck in the strait. Only 4 have gone thru and Iran is threatening to destroy anyone fucking up. Israel going ham. Looks bearish to me
[+16] u/Loose_Stool_12: Israel gonna sink this ceasefire like the USS Liberty.
[+15] u/Optimal-Midnight4295: The greatest cease fire of all time, quite frankly, ceasier than anybody has ever seen before.
[+15] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: All of us bought puts before close
[+15] u/31andnotdone: Making intermittent eye contact with a bearded man in trader joes.
[+15] u/Actual_Difference617: Does anybody else hate that smugness smile on barrons face all the time?
[+15] u/CATLLM: Why do i get this weird feeling that this is a bear market pump?
[+14] u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister: This market is fucking untradeable! Massive geopolitical shifts back and forth every few hours and the market completely ignores fundamentals half the time! Bullshit!
[+14] u/Standard-Top-5942: karoline leavitt:"That is his expectation. It has been relayed to him privately that that is what's taking place and these reports publicly are false"
insanity
[+14] u/unhappyreach_: Ja Rule says the strait is open
[+14] u/FactCivil1302: Why oil not going up
[+14] u/QuantrixQuintrix: Stop Cummin’ in the Plumbin’
[+14] u/LazyImprovement9160: So the entire ceasefire was a scam by 🥭 why is the market still up?
[+14] u/BlackNair: Today was the pumpin, tomorrow is the dumpin
[+13] u/ThermalChaser: Deal fell apart instantly. Market cares not.
[+13] u/Brief_Challenge_1163: Trump - “A Country supplying Military Weapons to Iran will be immediately tariffed, on any and all goods sold to the United States of America, 50%, effective immediately, There will be no exclusions or exemptions!"
Vance - "“If Iran wants to let this negotiation fall apart ...over Lebanon, ...which the United States never once said was part of the ceasefire, that’s ultimately their choice. We think that would be dumb. But that’s their choice.”
Esmaeil Baghaei, (Iran’s Foreign Ministry spokesperson) - posted a clip of Leavitt telling reporters Lebanon is not part of the ceasefire agreement and wrote “If this isn’t yet another case of the US early reneging, then what is it?!” He also shared Pakistani Prime Minister Sharif’s post on X from yesterday, stating that Iran and the US had “agreed to an immediate ceasefire everywhere including Lebanon”.
It has not even been 24 hours.
[+13] u/Shoganai_Hito: Call me crazy but shit got more wild post ‘ceasefire’
[+13] u/AirportMaterial5917: The ceasefire will be looked at in 1000 years like we look at Babylonian tablets today
[+13] u/tikimandude: Mango and his clowns desperately want to believe that a ceasefire is in force, let alone was even agreed to.
[+13] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: Polymarket odds on Hormuz opening this month went all the way up to 70% and then slowly bled out to 24% where they are now lol
[+13] u/aftherith: You get those days when you make enough trading to live well off of. You think about quitting the job. Then you get the day that costs you a month's salary.
[+12] u/WrexyWrex: BIG ANNOUNCEMENTS BEFORE OPEN
PCE PRICE INDEX
GDP Q4
INITIAL JOBLESS CLAIMS
30 YEAR BOND AUCTION (MID DAY)
[+12] u/ThermalChaser: UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER!. with 10 conditions.
[+12] u/tonytwocans: March CPI print on friday expected to be up **.8% m/m**
That's 9.6% annualized...
Jerome pls save us
[+12] u/Treverer: Stop shitting on Israel.
There was no way of knowing that breaking the ceasefire will break the ceasefire. They’re Jewish, not frigging Nosferatu, give them a break
[+12] u/Ozqi: Will MSFT be the first American company to be colonized by India?
Another senior executive has left.
[+12] u/sl3azebag: Tbh I think touching the 500s again would get Trump impeached
[+12] u/puffinnbluffin: Are there any Iranians on this sub? I feel like we could negotiate an agreement better than the current retards
[+12] u/Actual_Difference617: What the fuck did they talk about yesterday when negotiating ceasefire? I think they just went -
US -you scared?
Iran- Yup.
Us- Me too.
Iran - wanna do it some other day?
US - ok Lets taco.
[+12] u/funkdizzletron: Sold everything today. Anyone exit their shit?
[+12] u/yushey__: My wife is a financial analyst. I checked her broker account and she’s down 99% on some penny stock. Should I be concerned
[+12] u/AirportMaterial5917: What did we get out of all this that we didn’t already have before
[+11] u/br0botic: SPY being up 2.5% today and my portfolio being flat tells you how regarded I am
[+11] u/thegreatgumbini: Tariffs on countries supplying arms to Iran? Like any of them are going to believe 🥭after this last TACO
[+11] u/yyn1999: I WILL BUY OIL CALLS TO SAVE THE WORLD
[+11] u/bearhunter429: #"We are going to announce a cease fire but continue to bomb each other" LMAO🤌
[+11] u/31andnotdone: i lost most of my joy in life when my fridge became full of sugar free condiments
[+11] u/StandardDot5115: congratulations to bears for predicting 87392 of the last 4 recessions
[+11] u/chairforce01: Market doesn't seem to care that things aren't very ceasefire-y yet, or that the negotiating points range from impotent to complete nonsense.
I'm thinking the market only cared about the implications of 🥭 finally dishing his TACO: that he never had any conviction, never cared about the actual policy outcomes, and once again he was only personally invested in the domestic political circus and his percieved image. So he basically confirmed that this was just run of the mill, ill-advised, ME conflict in a convincing "legit global catastrophe" costume. I think its going to take way more than predictable non-progress or inflammatory social media blubbering for the market to believe otherwise again.
So, i guess, what do now?
[+11] u/ThermalChaser: When you're fighting with your girl and you agree to put the whole thing behind you but then she goes all Bibi and burns your clothes...
[+11] u/Happy-n-Healthy: Look at this on the bright side guys, this ceasefire is saving us $10 Billion a day!
WINNING!
[+11] u/sloanemonroe: The strait is still closed. So it doesn’t matter that it’s closed anymore? There is no shortage of oil that causes a worldwide recession anymore? It was supposed to have had happened by now.
[+11] u/Current_Animator7546: Iran is going to make Mango look like a fool.
[+10] u/IlinistRainbow6: my portfolio down 50k in my 1 month chart
guh
[+10] u/Fast-Steak-7730: Bulls can’t even take a joke even on a 2% Green Day 😒
[+10] u/maximuminimum: **Real Iran 10 point plan leaked (#10 was already agreed upon):**
1. All photos of world leaders must be taken on **Persian Rug** and included in frame
2. **Hummus & Babaganosh** subsidized for brown men across the world
3. **Persia Monir** (Iranian pornstar) clips to be paid for by UN Security Council to whomever that requests
4. 🥭 to shake hand of slain **Ayatollah hologram** and broadcast livestream
5. Every major marvel movie must include subplot where **captain America coverts to Islam**
6. Nuclear powered **rotisserie**
7. People cannot make fun of strait of hormez and call it **gays of hormez (haram)**
8. Rematch of Iron Sheikh’s son with current wwe champ or John cena (match must be rigged)
9. America must learn to not call Iran… **eye-ran**
10. Any sitting prez must say **“Allah” on Easter**
[+10] u/csr8765: You would’ve outperformed MSFT over the past 5 years by buying treasuries or municipal bonds. And had that $$ tax free.
[+9] u/New_Competition_410: Please dump two days in a row
[+9] u/Fast-Steak-7730: Biggest Green Day today
Biggest red day tomorrow
[+9] u/cbusoh66: Pakistan PM: Hello, I need to speak with the Supreme Leader.
IRGC low level officer: As-salam Alaikum Mr. Prime Minister, Supreme Leader not available, can I take a message?
Pakistan PM: Please tell Supreme Leader that the American President got himself into a hole he can't dig himself out of without appearing weak and helpless, your cooperation will be appreciated, can he order Hormuz open for 2 weeks, pretty please.
Ali: Sure, I will inform him shortly, but first send me ten $500 Google Pay cards. Once I get the cards, consider Hormuz open. Do not redeem, I repeat, do not redeem...
[+9] u/Western-Pound-5372: SEND CITRINI ANALYST #3 BACK TO THE STRAIT
[+9] u/Educational-Tea6917: That's a real nice cease fire ya got there.
Would be a shame if something happened to it.
[+9] u/DressPrestigious7088: Charts are showing that we will see a major crash tonight.
[+9] u/Settos_Mal: Man idk what’s going to happen tomorrow but I made an entire year’s worth of rent in one day.
[+9] u/Cullen8228: Hope you didn’t sell your puts
[+9] u/WSB-mods-are-: VIX just filed chapter 11 and is closing over 70 restaurants. I swear they had the fucking best curly fries in the game too 😞
[+9] u/G0RD0N_CLARK: Meanwhile the administration is fucking around with Tariffs again and now implementing them on imports from Canada and Mexico that were protected under the USMCA prior to this week.
[+9] u/No_Relief_8705: 🇯🇵 has the chance to do the funniest thing in a few hours
[+9] u/Internal_Field5970: So exhausted. I feel brain dead retarded
[+9] u/wendysdumpstr: they say circuit breaker when you least expect it, i least expect it tomorrow
[+9] u/Treverer: I drove to another country today to buy 10 packs of Zyn. When I arrived I found out they outlawed it on January 1st this year.
Maybe this will make you feel less retarded 🫂
[+9] u/Actual_Difference617: ‘Market hates uncertainty’. Bro market is flat as fuck.
[+8] u/sha1dy: # HOW ARE YOUR PUTS DOING YOU FUCKS
[+8] u/aa73gc: Iran says acceptance of it's right to enrich uranium included in their 10-point plan - Al Jazeera
Well shit
[+8] u/WarmCan3034: Hi, I am here to spam about msft until it goes back to 460 🥰
[+8] u/Kirko_Cousins: Tomorrow,
Jobless could be 400K
Core PCE could be 0.6%
GDP revision could be -1%
And SPY will be +1.5% as this sub *monitors the Strait and ceasefire*
[+8] u/Comfortable-Sky7801: the plan is to get out Friday night, I smell some weekend fuckery
[+8] u/Ok_Abbreviations8440: When you know it’s not over yet but just can’t prove it 🤨
[+8] u/Low-Win-6691: Elon has clearly been selling large parts of his stake in Tesla this year. Dont be left holding the bag. What if the entire highly publicized impossible to achieve $1T pay package was to convince you that you he wasn’t getting the fuck out completely?
[+8] u/ShitStainStoop: Vance questioned Iranian parliament speaker Ghalibaf’s understanding of English, saying his claims about ceasefire violations “didn’t make sense” in the context of negotiations.
[+8] u/ManBearPig_1983: No fucking way. You send that freak JD to my neck of the woods and I am folding. I saw what he did to the pope. WET SAND ain’t stupid.
[+8] u/Get_dat_money: Man. I just opened the yahoo app, and it said SPY down 6%.
I almost shit my pants
[+8] u/defordj: It's the kind of ceasefire where one side doesn't cease firing, just like it's the kind of re-opening the Strait of Hormuz where it's exactly as closed as it was before. You see, it's on a spectrum, like your autism
[+8] u/tnecniv2021: Kegsbreath reminds me of some jackass, Guy needs a slap.
[+8] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: Jesus Christ some of you guys need some original content
[+8] u/Scalpaholic: Japan Carry Trade is back baby!
[+8] u/MadHat0815: The Asinas will not be happy about this once they wake up...
[+8] u/Low_Plastic363: Easy. Pull out and blame other people. He exists in a bubble of yes-men.
[+8] u/OrdinaryMix4013: imo i think this is the last pump and we will be back under 640 by Friday
[+8] u/IndividualSea2881: Israel bombs civilians within 18 hours of a ceasefire. Market still jumps 3%..
[+7] u/BlackKnightsOptions: Imagine walking into a room where people are sitting with a bee hive. You give the hive a few good whacks with a baseball bat and then say "have fun!" on your way out
[+7] u/Canadianinvestor1997: Tesler just go to 100 already
[+7] u/Frequent-Nature-630: Truth social? Epstein files? whore moose strait? Grandpa it’s 2080, you had your fever dream again
[+7] u/Shoganai_Hito: Made $444 on puts today. AMA
[+7] u/king_of_all_retards: Im still -10% YTD
#:(
[+7] u/Blacksin01: If you’re not loading up on WTI calls, why are you even here
[+7] u/catluck: I'm not fuckin dyin' for Jamie Dimon
[+7] u/PM_ME_YOUR_WEIRD: Long on rope and wobbly stools
[+7] u/JaraxxusPS4: Schrödingers ceasefire
[+7] u/Substantial-Art5008: I honestly don’t get it, it’s either we hit the bottom or might be getting the biggest rugpull of the century tomorrow. 🫡🔫
[+7] u/Morocier: most of you were in your daddys nutsack the last time dividend stocks were the winner, but i think we're back there.
[+7] u/MagJack: HOLY SHIT my Roth (which I have not touched yet this year) Is back to its January 1st level. Mission Fucking Accomplished and shit.
[+7] u/Quirky_Athlete8088: Market sucks we buying fake meat one more time to hedge these losses or what????
[+7] u/StandardDot5115: what part is so hard to understand
buy before it goes up
sell before it goes down
eazy peezy
[+7] u/TrickyDickCheney: Red Sea will also be closed by the weekend
[+7] u/meatstick94: market don’t care about no damn strait in iran, we have AI and data centers
[+7] u/WrexyWrex: Gen X has not had a normal calm period of life in their entire adulthood.
Early 90s: graduated into a global recession
Late 90s/Early 2000s: Dot Com Bubble Burst and 9/11
2008: Financial Crisis creating massive inequality and unaffordable housing.
Covid: Inflation spiral
Current day: whatever the fuck this is.
[+7] u/lessoninprogress: I dream about the market tanking and getting the opportunity of telling bols they’re super regarded. Then I wake up and am looking in the mirror
[+7] u/Impressive-Ice-4594: Don't think it requires much effort on their part.
[+6] u/ThermalChaser: Biden tells axios he is privately very upset with Bibi over ongoing hostilities.
[+6] u/Top-Fig845: Why is APLD not pumping?
[+6] u/Independent-Tree-985: A bol will tell you all about their over-leveraged SPY calls as theyre loaded into the truck and led to the slaughterhouse
[+6] u/Country_Gravy420: None of this makes sense
[+6] u/trent_upscale: ###Many obese in the thread rn
[+6] u/Thotmas01: If Israel hasn’t blown anything up in the last like four hours then we’re good.
[+6] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Hmm what to believe anymore.. I’m moving to Appalachia, living off the land fuck y’all
FARS NEWS - THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ IS NOW COMPLETELY CLOSED
[+6] u/aa73gc: Lol 50% tariffs, Donny big mad
[+6] u/aa73gc: You should be allowed one day per calendar year to undo any trades that day
[+6] u/ihopethisworksfornow: 1 intern got a job at Microsoft
2nd intern just got accepted to a prestigious think tank in DC
>
#I AM THE GREATEST SUPERVISOR ALIVE
#SEND ME YOUR DATA STUDENTS I WILL TURN THEM INTO MILLIONAIRES
[+6] u/noahmfs: Are we still bullish on 🥭 nomics?
[+6] u/ddrsdght: > BREAKING: I have just been presented (many are calling it the most historic presentation of food EVER, maybe in the history of food, think about that) with my FAVORITE McDonald’s meal. Absolutely BEAUTIFUL. The Fake News said I wouldn’t get the meal. WRONG! Not only did I get it, I got EXTRA. They said, “Sir, please, it’s too much winning,” and I said, “No, we have to do this for the country.”
[+6] u/wildbill4693: The strait is still closed. This ceasefire ain’t holding water. 💦
[+6] u/WarmCan3034: since I got assigned MSFT today, I had to go to valueinvesting to make myself feel more confident about this stock 🥰[](https://alb.reddit.com/cr?za=WrsFc_J-jrvSagVFuL_nldRdTNRLcOePCEKbDgZ97K80kSv8iF-_1NZY2qQbq3PretHTMjnPMtoh-2CtUQ5hY2S_Ez5m9pdDeo5hZMcS8-qUxAFJPZYUX5Ms1X4TrenGQJrZ2Swa2HivRRKsg4e6l97UWTLBaEc57qEmvePflpQoUuVL33y9GJkIajFoM0kUKT3RLx1b24zqx6wRi-OYwh8DP0nSrkgldmIBwvfgZim2pUuZ49FXa19AflU2bXGKI09Gke8o6t77ZpYYxPBaGb1sJ_tbsQ0_LjR4uUsRJEobsB3CMiwIxn80hhi5J8uwaL2CgO4RRgGRxT99XxbIMJkkduEdQ_VvCorAWVbAz8dTA-cpCIvUIavqOoGQzWTLFctAFoP8g-Tg8l7JXsZ0gUW6cZZn2OxVy6PHMHYEINe5Mk22IuzlkgHuR9vKnjRRwqcXkUVKCsDkW9fIwx9KJ8U8NP4jt1AfXllcHrbNDiwzoa_c9eavlGt7qEBmjzW5K-clAqAroUyz3pAI63kF_CEWznvp2wfvZJLnu58Da4F5XasRH-yrzo3rZQ1bglxh6HGguy8bsJ0MALrTpqCzJ2RJpn4is0iQrasiVJ_N1DTZrhpGsT5Dbx9DvRIvVX0HjxY6Vy-hphS6vfvuy7SsDhnhRl4UKDORZN6jQlwLQroY2mA7Ia-5mQ6grjUdJtlwGzlB9QGH3MdUn0R1U3ZGIMCRUHOniZacVSw6W6w&zp=X92-Z42XgGZPDhKi3wCCTh99U2WyH4MXTAroeKPP07pcFr7vCHiHRB46TRrojPXuI-Ia9P46_aE1XHVjL7jxE6BqnrcpBfXXWOM9KAsEIC3NTVgu00eDLu7F2vdytfHFuZONNEHwBXKoGEIjA_dSLN7ma9AaP9n-fApvC6n5wiFB3TaYEgCFVAXpeF2kkH78Cusg5jjRxEdXIEipOKmp_-SnnYWafFpnw0kHUHsjKHM3DeobsHyVCltS2gK5eqX5Ade6_e0zRGyifYgQpPMUM3MIQjjFXspqzSmSs4MF803_01fS0jfUmfnq-NIF2aLc7gAGnHNT4vq3XgEnnWKN_E3adlRx-93Vwfbk-WQ-ZB56d3qVaNE6J5FinuQUbV3fxm-CgqCEdfUSfkhVALAccrWz84PgkCOJDzdujjYE8Qv4ZLTcCrWg02IPpeLIYIU-2ER0EzXSJv6ObToDiz69V9t8MHcWnZQqpRy0KJ3nEhFVsALF&a=26605&b=26568&be=26552&c=26552&d=14281&e=14246&ea=14259&eb=14230&f=14230&r=6&g=1&i=1775681553871&t=1775681590438&o=1&q=1&h=204&w=732&sh=956&sw=1470&va=1&vb=0&vc=0&vd=0&ve=0&vg=0&vh=0&vi=0&vs=0&vt=0&vu=0&vv=0&vx=0&vw=0&vq=0&vr=0&vy=0&xe=0&vz=0&xa=0&xf=0&xb=0&vf=0&xc=0)
[+6] u/uteeeooo: So strait of hormus is closed and controlled by Iran, and US stopped attacking. TACOed so hard, this is what was agreed?
[+6] u/MrCoolizade: Yo dawg we heard you like ceasefires so we put a ceasefire on your ceasefire
[+6] u/bobby_stackz: This feels like 2022 all over again...exact same first few months so far lmfao
[+6] u/Actual_Difference617: People who think this is genuine market movement forget when HOOD disabled the buy button. Lol they see your positions and they drool thinking about fucking them.
[+6] u/Noddite: Looks like most people here don't know PCE comes out tomorrow, and if the middle Eastern beating continue, it will likely be very red.
I'm just happy my puts are on something currently reliable -TSLA- if they couldn't turn green on the biggest best news all year, it isn't going to do well near term.
[+6] u/NervousChemistry7401: The irony that so much of the market moving news come from “Truth Social” randomly finds me in the middle of the day and I chuckle.
[+6] u/Comfortable-Gap-9775: she strait on my hor till i muz
[+6] u/MeditateDailyYo: The rollercoaster has reset, take your seats everyone. Will we experience another exciting drop off a cliff, excellent for those who are focused at the right time and horrifying for those in the middle of a sneeze, or will the US economy literally collapse and trigger the same globally? We roll the dice each time. Praise 🌮
[+6] u/Western-Pound-5372: Just listened to an oil analyst sound almost giddy that the ceasefire was being violated, thought he was gonna cum in his pants.
[+6] u/Diamond-Solo: Right, and this ceasefire, it's in the room with us right now?
[+6] u/Shoganai_Hito: “Why me laugh?”
-Homer Simpson
[+6] u/Ok_Cry7572: we have PCE tomorrow and CPI Friday
[+6] u/NewlyOld31: Anyone think we see a bit of red tomorrow since no one has stopped bombing?
[+6] u/Thebaxxxx: Jus so youre aware this price was made possible by about 1/10th of the volume that occurs in just one hour on a normal spy day. This price isnt real. The play is to call jane on the bluff, sell, then buy again at around 670
[+5] u/yushey__: First time holding put overnight feeling a little gay
[+5] u/ModeForJoe: Buy the taco, sell the tweets
[+5] u/f0xinaround: Imagine getting sooo upset over a freaking number. It's all a simulation y'all. Didn't you read the CIA handbook??
[+5] u/Diligent_Room2623: bought puts for tomorrow. SPY 673 exp 4/10 and NVDA 180 exp 4/13. 😬
[+5] u/Dr_Vibe_Check: Theta for rest of week, they gotta eat too
[+5] u/Ok_Persimmon9849: I don't remember the last time it was this flat AH, is it possible that something might happen?
[+5] u/Itos__Lemma: Who is honestly buying memory stocks that are all up in a vertical line? Yes my puts got fucked. I deserve it.
[+5] u/E39_CBX: Israel is a peaceful nation
[+5] u/trent_upscale: PLTR did me like Diddy
[+5] u/ContributionMore5502: Iran only agreed because their missiles from Ali baba were delayed.
[+5] u/Burtonwurton: The funny shit is that even if we do this again tomorrow, I’m still deep dick red.
[+5] u/Advanced_Divide_4641: Nothing ever happens in the shituation room
[+5] u/Actual_Difference617: Do you guys think market’s brained is gooned out on 2025 rally after liberation day when he tacoed on tarriffs? Now market thinks he will taco out of every problem and we will climb again. Everybody refuses to sell.
[+5] u/StocksStormTrooper: Ceasefire real shaky!
[+5] u/wrongrobertpatrick: It wants to dump so badly
[+5] u/Marshmallowmind2: Anyone else get bored coming here everyday now?
[+5] u/slimeystevebob: Sorry mom, for being a poor... 😔
[+5] u/Pazzaaaaaa: Futes blood red. SPY only moves down overnight now.
[+5] u/Loose_Stool_12: "We ain't cease shit!"
[+5] u/Beazt11123: Wouldnt it be funny if at the end of this middle east conflict we hear "What I've Done" start playing everywhere and the words "Produced by : Michael Bay" show up in the sky?
[+5] u/cryptohorn: Bols like wearing starbury shoes
[+5] u/Academic_Banana_5659: Isn't tomorrow the 9th
[+5] u/Muted-South4737: 16.5 hours until my next serotonin fix
[+5] u/ALittleWorseEveryday: Calls on ROPE, puts on LIFE
[+5] u/SkrillieVanillie: ofc APLD crushes it and is now down 4% lol. diving into earnings it looks like leases and paying energy will continue to be a problem. I guess the pump was early today ha ha
[+5] u/Impressive-Name5129: Well.. they closed it again.
Brent has recovered into positive territory
[+5] u/Seymour_asis501: Can’t decide if I wanna lose all my money to golf and binge drinking or gambling
[+5] u/Johnny_Menace: Bears loaded up on puts at open only for SPY to be flat all day lmao!!!!! 🤣
[+5] u/Money-Will-1867: If we still green until Friday I’ll never buy put again
[+5] u/McKoijion: April 2025:
* Trump announces insane tariff plan
* Market tanks
* Announces TACO
* Market rallies back to flat
* Trump brags about how much money his billionaire friends like Charles Schwab made (whose granddaughter and heir works at the Treasury Department)
April 2026:
* Trump announces insane war plan
* Market tanks
* Announces TACO
* Market rallies back to flat
* **We're here now**
The market tanked in April 2020 as well. It didn't happen in April 2021, 2022, 2023, and 2024 (the Biden years.) This same early-April market crash pattern happened the last three years Trump was in office.
Tax Day is April 15. My gut says this has something to do with reducing capital gains taxes for his friends and donors in taxable accounts. Am I just speculating? Anyone know the details of how this might work?
[+5] u/Hot-Pop-3250: I for one welcome out new overlords, the Persians
[+5] u/Walking72: Trump and Netanyahu agreed during the call that the fighting in Lebanon could continue, the U.S. official and an Israeli official said.
The U.S. official said the White House is not currently concerned that the situation in Lebanon would cause the ceasefire with Iran to collapse.
[+5] u/KevinWarshNudes: Every Anthropic drop kills the SAAS and they drop shit every month
[+5] u/MrNo_Balls: I am starting to think I am never going to hit one of those 3 week lottos and should just resign myself to putting all my savings into SPY
[+5] u/Ancient_Let7878: I don’t really know what the plays are
[+5] u/moosewithamuffin: Honestly let’s just finish the job. Can’t negotiate with berrorists.
[+5] u/Purple-Image9960: It turned from being a strait of Hormuz expert to being a ceasefire expert
[+5] u/DisgrunltedDan: This is BS! Did Iran even say thank you ONCE!?
[+27] u/Felix_Aterni: The ceasefire not even lasting 24h probably should have been more expected.
[+24] u/serialserialserial99: remember boys the Hormuz can stay closed longer than you can stay solvent.
[+22] u/UnivalveX: it's too logical for it to dump after a +7% run which is why it'll probably keep going lmao
[+22] u/Normal_Tap3021: No ceasefire, strait still closed.
SPY: we pumping
[+21] u/redpillsbluepills: there are guys on here who don’t know how to cook themselves eggs trying to trade oil against Citadel
[+19] u/deadmetallucyluce: Iran could do something funny and include the release of Epstein files in the deal
[+18] u/Competitive-Water944: I still can’t believe the titties on Kristi Noems husband
[+18] u/Beagle001: Iran has such an upper hand now. They can now use the Strait against Israel bombing their ally. Before Mango man, this wasn't even on the table. They were handed the golden key.
[+18] u/Emergency-Ticket5859: Looks like war is back on the menu, boys
[+18] u/Swiftnice: It's so funny 🥭 doesn't know what to do now. I bet he can't believe they already closed the strait again and made him look like a fat little bitch boy lol.
[+16] u/100xOrBust: Dear market gods, please run up oil to $125 a barrel without anyone having to die. Amen
[+16] u/OnlyBols: Dear god. Rug the bools. Thank you. Amen.
[+16] u/7fingersDeep: We sent astronauts around the Moon and Iran won a war against the U.S. before we got GTA6
[+15] u/-IQ200: Who’s the CEO of SPY? I just wanna talk. 🤼♂️
[+15] u/7fingersDeep: Look, I know everyone here is mega tarded.
But for love of fucking God, it is "strait" not "straight".
[+15] u/dyshynky: A Botswana flagged ship just went through the strait. Botswana is landlocked.
[+15] u/concerndative: I have puts, don’t wish any harm on anyone. I just know this is all bullshit pump for no real reason. We created a problem, pumped, “solved” the problem with a bandaid PUMMMMP. Bandaid fell right off, trades sideways like nothing ever happened.
[+15] u/GreenGameboyColor: It's gonna suck for future generations as all the good usernames are taken
[+15] u/Iamhappilyconfused: Oil prices have to stop being delusional before the market catches on, so instead of getting SPY puts get some oil calls first
[+15] u/Threebridges2: I forget Leavitt is only 28, would guess late 30s or early 40s.
[+15] u/TopTrey9: So oil dumps, 20% in a single day and gas prices don’t move…
[+14] u/TestingLifeThrow1z: Hormuz opens: market up 3%
Hormuz closes: market down 0.1%
[+13] u/mailchauvinist: One day up, one day down. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
[+13] u/DonCheeech: Bought some 660p for next week 📉📉📉
[+13] u/Warm_Tzatziki: I'm spending so much time fixing what people do with AI it's crazy. Fucking 7 hours correcting 150 rows of excel ai slop and 50 slides brought by copilot and the sales representative hallucinations
[+13] u/khorosani: i got 3k of spy puts at close
[+13] u/claytondpark: As expected the indices pumped all the days gains overnight and did nothing during cash session, which means had u bought during the day u likely made nothing and prolly even closed red eod. This mkt is dangerous...
[+12] u/cruisin_urchin87: Allah the merciful, hear me, let thine Bers be lead to the holy land, from which many hookers and much blow will be waiting
[+12] u/jackpearson2788: I love how the market is currently just acting like the straight isn’t closed
[+12] u/my_garagegym_name: The market's reaction to this war has shown me that Im bad at this not because I havent read the right books its because I thought the right books actually exist. Quite a relief.
[+12] u/Emergency-Ticket5859: Iran's mistake was making it at 10 point plan. that's too many for this administration. keep it to 3 max
[+12] u/legible_print: Man, who knew the answer all along was to just stop doing stupid things
[+12] u/Boheed: RAPIDAN ENERGY GROUP assesses 85% chance the ceasefire will not successfully reopen the Strait
[+12] u/Specialist-Sun-4751: Nobody actually believes the ceasefire will work.
[+11] u/Competitive-Water944: Any big booty latinas in here?
[+11] u/pineapplekiwipen: my grandma just vibecoded palantir foundry PLTR is fuk
[+11] u/OG_L0c: In Japanese porn, the actors bow to each other after banging
[+11] u/cryptopolymath: I know she’s pregnant but Lyin’ Leavitt needs to lay off the biscuits and gravy
[+11] u/D1finalboss: Need a proper rug to put things into perspective, today’s bullshit was uncalled for by any stretch of the imagination insallah
[+11] u/XeroShyft: Got obliterated today
[+11] u/Candid_Analyst_9040: I'm gonna pick up smoking again
[+11] u/New_Sport_8490: Checkout marine traffic! Every ship going through straight is Iran or India flagged. We win lol
[+11] u/Valkorion335786: Regardless of the ceasefire brokered by Pakistan being real or fake, you just know India is SEETHING lmao
[+11] u/SmootherDoge: Sitting this one out im too lost
[+11] u/Wrath_FMA: I have Friday USO calls, amen
[+11] u/hiphopanonomos: Feb jobs now revised way lower, at what point will releasing fake numbers each month and revising them way lower the next month catch up with us?
[+11] u/LightDeflect1: i have never traded options but seeing the post from the guy that made 1.1 million on Meta calls 🤤
[+11] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Iran tells CNN that all Strait traffic is paused due to Israel attacks on Lebanon.
Curious to see if this is a bull trap this week
[+11] u/Grey-59throwaway: Buddy just can't figure it out 😭
[+10] u/mackey88: How do you define “COMPLETE, IMMEDIATE, and SAFE OPENING of the Strait of Hormuz”
Is that like 72 hours, 5-10 business days? -Asking for a friend.
[+10] u/wildcat1055: Wen do we get our profit-sharing checks for the tolls on the strait of Hormuz?
[+10] u/jda823: You can call me Diddy with all this cheap oil I bought.
[+10] u/Brodieischeese: People saying “bearish in here +3% tomorrow” but I’m realizing I’ve seen almost no bearish comments lol,
[+10] u/JPOW_Used_No_Lube: C'mon Trump, post something. I literally do not care if it's "we're nuking Iran" or "heres a video of me blowing the new Ayotollah" , just say something
[+10] u/Neat-Concentrate-239: last night I went short in AH and went to sleep. I dreamt the market went to 0
Woke up. wasn't too happy.
[+10] u/Few-Quiet-283: Massive oil shorts opened prior to ceasefire announcements yep sounds about right
[+10] u/Cantthinkofacoolnam: I can’t believe the SPY 4/17 person closed out at a loss. SMFH
[+10] u/FartPolluter: omfg iran you cant close hormuz everytime israel bombs someone
[+10] u/ericcc1029: Uh oh here comes the oil
[+9] u/Iamhappilyconfused: Tomorrow all the pullback will happen just before market hours, then we'll theta for the rest of the day
[+9] u/Coogiez: Good lord MSFT is dog dookie
[+9] u/Brodieischeese: If we can open red tomorrow I promise I’ll never buy options again. For atleast a Week or less
[+9] u/el-art-seam: "All sides have presented vastly different versions of the terms"
We agree with our terms, they agree with their terms, and peace will be acheived with everyone getting what they want.
[+9] u/Anxious-Pear4200: Asia will sell the shit out of this huge pile of diplomatic horseshit and
adulation
They are smart, they can do maths.
[+9] u/solidsneeze: 🥭 needs to call The Wolf from Pulp Fiction to wrap up this war
[+9] u/MarcoPolooooo: I was so disappointed in myself for not holding calls that I bought puts today and made nearly what I would’ve made if I held calls 🤣 it all works out
[+9] u/vwapnerd: I’m not sure you speak English either, pal
[+8] u/SoothingWafer: SPY to 0. Literally closing the market and we're going to the barter system.
[+8] u/DragonflyOrdinary848: America confirmed to have broken ceasefire and struck Tehran. Strait is closed lmfao. If CPI comes in hot I think this rally reverses
[+8] u/pineapplekiwipen: will the market pull back somewhat in the coming days? probably
will the market eventually go much higher this year? you bet
[+8] u/Perfect-Mixture-3577: Missed buying calls yesterday, bought 0dte puts printed +400% today
[+8] u/SoothingWafer: We've had more wins in Iran than Joe Rogan deaths.
[+8] u/CEO-of-SOXL: For the love of god just die SPY
[+8] u/mmjI: my brain autocorrects regard to retard
[+8] u/hermeskino715: What Are Your Moves Tomorrow,
#April 09, 2026
[+8] u/Waiting4Reccession: If we have a 1% down day tomorrow to give up some of these gains, please sir mango
[+8] u/SearchUsual5193: IF STRAIT CLOSE WHY NO OIL RISE?
[+8] u/eskhalaf: CPI report coming out Friday, but at this point its worthless
[+8] u/tika_dengu: Algos and MMs ignore Al Berzeera
[+8] u/Tautol0gic: guys i just woke up from a comma in 2019 what did i miss?
[+8] u/undocumented_twerker: Heard they are going to strike an even better deal tonight. Big green in the morning
[+8] u/GoingDownUnderInSEA: Orange man needs to say stupid stuff so my puts can go up
[+8] u/cabdycan42: Anything happening rn oil going up
[+8] u/ArticleTerrible7621: Have a couple of Friday 130 Oil calls that I bought at close, Oil pumping slowly
Edit: USO April 10 $130 calls
[+8] u/BFox1982: You can't even spell strait, retard
[+8] u/100xOrBust: Personally, mine are expiring tomorrow.
[+7] u/fomoandyoloandnogrow: Going forward, presidents should definitely institute a rule to absolutely not announce the most volatile headlines and shit 2-3 hours to the close and instead just wait til 4pm EST. Theres a reason we don’t have 24hour option markets ffs
[+7] u/spac420: 🥭 taketh, and 🥭 giveth back again.
[+7] u/Individual_Error_428: WALLAHI puts about to print so hard tomorrow
[+7] u/7fingersDeep: Why couldn't I have been born into a family with insider information?
I just want Donny Tacos to text me just five or six times before he makes a TruthSocial post- then I'll be content.
[+7] u/Specialist-Sun-4751: I am holding a QQQ put into tomorrow and now I am convinced QQQ will skyrocket because you regards are so sure the market will dump tomorrow.
[+7] u/jonneh: # For my cake day SPY went up 2.55% ☺️
#
I am lucky bul
[+7] u/winston511: We held +2.5% without the ceasefire crumbling by the hour and no ships passing the strait….and you’re bearish
[+7] u/nyse25: dis shitty wok can i tak your ordar prease
[+7] u/AdOk3638: Karoline Leavitt might be a little bit cray cray. But i can fix her 🤗.
[+7] u/No_Needleworker9613: The year is 2030. Tesla has fallen in value and is now worth less than a single grain of sand, and Elon Musk has been quoted as saying he "might have to start driving Uber Eats to cover rent"
[+7] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: Trying to close on a $13mm construction loan and this boomer banker has no idea Claude did all my underwriting and stress tests and i'm signing a personal guarantee on it lmao
what a time to be alive
[+7] u/solidsneeze: ceasefire coordination not as difficult as my taxes
[+7] u/Slightlybadpicks: The straight is closed but my anoos is open for business!!!! 😏😏
[+7] u/MaxEhrlich: My 4 weeks swing had me going from 300k -> 211k and now back -> 292k today. I said fuck it and sold the entire port, I think we are in for some bad actor wild ass bs to occur this week before long.
[+7] u/SearchUsual5193: Yesterday inscribed TACO in stone.
[+7] u/kemar7856: Is t this what happened last time ceasefire agreed by both sides Israel decides to attack the next day
[+7] u/SpiritedVoice6248: Okay so we’re rallying but the strait is not open…
I think we short this
[+7] u/Anxious-Pear4200: Bankruptcy, is my legacy.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
President DONALD J. TRUMP
[+7] u/Gunove12: Hi there from Germany
[+6] u/BlitzComet95: Make money off tomorrow’s pullback and then calls Friday. Easy
[+6] u/SearchUsual5193: SaaS is dead, your grandma can vibecode what she needs
Yeah sure.
[+6] u/PulIthEld: Isn't the whole point of not wanting Iran to have nukes is because they are religious fundamentalists that are inherently irrational and who we dont want threatening people with nukes?
So like... The United States?
[+6] u/perceptive_AI: I noticed I might have the autism walk when I went for a walk while high
[+6] u/TouchTipz: This ambassador on Bloomberg sounds so ridiculous
[+6] u/Former_West_7960: how can you be a supreme leader and not speak English
[+6] u/FinePerformance1046: too many idiots are starting to make too much free money its time to shake things up
[+6] u/PropheticMurmurs: PLTR is completely dead, until the next war.
So, until next week.
[+6] u/Borderpotroll: The Claude plugin for Excel is stupid, stupid good. Really amazing stuff. All the data mapping crap we send offshore can just be done with natural language prompting, oh, and it can format cells it has little confidence in. Outstanding.
[+6] u/Abe2025: I need 4 more of these exact same days to break even
[+6] u/Specialist-Sun-4751: When I sell, it prints. When I hold it dumps.
[+6] u/TheoryInttro: Huh, so Tesla didn't manage to hold on to the gains from the "Everything" pump and is currently below yesterday's closing. Why the fuck is Scamvana staying afloat?
[+6] u/jda823: Don't be shy now. Feel free to dump 1-2%
[+6] u/EternalPump23: Portfolio disappear, art of the deal
[+6] u/StonksInvesteur: Every negative headline feel like a bait to lure bers in for a fuck fes. That’s called bers ptsd
[+6] u/-IQ200: I will deadass feed the homeless with Little Cesar’s pizza if SPY gets to 671 or lower tomorrow. 🍕
[+6] u/the_mind_goblin1: why do I have CRM calls this stock is so ass
[+6] u/No-Improvement3164: Can we buy a gallon of gas and a COST hotdog for $4 yet?
[+6] u/GoingDownUnderInSEA: Why does it say April 8 for tomorrow.
[+6] u/M4roon: I have returned from ban-land and the war is over!! (You're welcome)
[+6] u/Numerous_Put4717: Would it be safe to say Trump is a Florida Man?
[+6] u/Brilliant_Object_847: What a retarded opening candle on S&P
[+6] u/pineapplekiwipen: if you're buying positions because of your political bias you're a giga chump and deserve to lose money
[+5] u/MixFit5225: Bibi do you love me ? Are you bombing ?
[+5] u/zeebee098: The weed ain’t strong enough anymore
[+5] u/Newbroker0411: Hoffe einfach MSFT erholt sich wieder…
[+5] u/Krigrim: What would you do if you were 🥭?
He pulls out he’s fucked because Iran is going to put him through a shit deal
He goes in and the US is in for potentially a decade in this hellhole
He does nothing and oil goes through the roof and he loses approval more than he already has
[+5] u/perceptive_AI: JP Morgan Chase is one of few selected companies that can use Anthropic's latest Claude model "Mythos". They won't release to the public because it's too dangerous. Chase now have god AI that will beat all of you regards even harder.
[+5] u/TestingLifeThrow1z: CPI gonna be hot hot hot. Hotter than anyone you’ve seen this year.
[+5] u/cowman711: 672 is all i ask for at open thats not asking for much
[+5] u/tika_dengu: Will they livestream the negotiations?
[+5] u/Capable_Desk3544: Bring back biden from the death
[+5] u/J_da_CPA: LPT: Have cash on hand to buy calls when bros are crying
[+5] u/Dizzy-Monk-: I was looking at my Microsoft shares and thinking, what a pos. And I see everyone else saying it’s a pos. Now I am thinking that’s a good sign to buy 🤔
[+5] u/Actual_Stranger_1766: so is the straight closed again? and the market doesn’t care this time?
[+5] u/MathTutorAndCook: I mean, the straight is still closed, with the Lebanon strike. I don't see why this doesn't reverse tomorrow
[+5] u/PropheticMurmurs: Isn’t it about time for the yearly random 80% pop in TSLA on purely speculative news?
[+5] u/Krigrim: At that point just fly a Chinese flag and pay the toll
[+5] u/Gristle__McThornbody: Why does Israel continue to want war.
[+5] u/Character_Pirate_152: I have given up on being a bear. It seems the market never goes down. FULL PORT CALLS TOMORROW
[+5] u/BFox1982: The blood of Christ tastes an awful lot like grape juice.
[+5] u/PositiveToe2761: Had my mom liquidate everything when the spy was at 690. She was happy for awhile but got a call today and she’s not too happy. Talking about re entering, top is in
[+5] u/Valkorion335786: I am Pakistani and I was holding 700c before the ceasefire announcement
Sorry not sorry
[+5] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: INTC pumping 50% in a week on Terafab news is one of the craziest pumps I've ever seen. How long before Elon scraps the whole project like most of his other outlandish project ideas?
[+5] u/Coogiez: Uhhhh I just bought the top
[+5] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: What's wrong with the futes why havent they gone up +/-2% yet?
[+5] u/44nutman: Israel is run by gay bears
[+5] u/CavoliRiscaldati: After hours fr has no idea what to do yet
[+5] u/gainsusmaximus: Now my poots alongside my calls are worthless
[+5] u/SanchoVilla91: Man, I gotta get in on this insider trading thing. Brb…bout to deploy botnet to some companies.
[+5] u/Bichael-Murry: what kind of poverty is this? we can't even get correct the next day count...
[+5] u/gavbot_1213: More concerning than anything that it’s a dead even sentiment in here: heavy bullish and bearish. I can’t inverse you both
[+5] u/VroomVroomMan1: I just gonna wait for the pump to stabilize
[+5] u/gjbaca17: I expect nothing and to still be disappointed.
[+5] u/College_finals: TACO man got Taco. Seem like no ceasefire at all
[+5] u/altmly: Wtf thread title is wrong, literally unplayable
[+5] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: JP Morgan must have shorts on Tsla, hence the down grade of the price.
[+5] u/vermilli21: Did MSFT say the N word or something, how are my calls down 20%
[+5] u/djklmnop: Did Kegsbreath set the chatroom title? Wrong date. Lives are at stake here buddy.
[+5] u/btoned: Sounds like a good time
[+5] u/Soossaaaa: buy your groceries at the indian store. whole foods is like 10x the cost
[+5] u/AntiqueProfessor5134: Still think they got bought off by the Saudis. Basically haven't done anything.
[+5] u/RadFriday: I work in manufacturing and we service military contractors. (all 100% unclassified). They are shitting the bed rn. "Can you make us a factory in 4 months? Whoopsies we can only make 1 UNSPECIFIED PRODUCT a month and they just blew thru 5 years worth
[+5] u/warm-regard: Too bearish in here. My poots are cooked
[+29] u/FalseDiamond7930: A broken ceasefire is just an opportunity for another ceasefire pump.
[+24] u/BooBrew32: Mango: Ceasefire!
(Market moons)
Iran: No ceasefire!
(Market stays put)
[+22] u/UnitedCup1814: 🥭 didn't read the iranian ceasefire terms he was so desperate to taco offer that wild threat. What a dipshit.
[+19] u/Antique_Cabinet8416: bulls every day: bers crave death and destruction to see their puts go from -99% to -97%, what a pathetic creature
bulls while 1000 people got bombed off the planet today: who cares about lebanon? my calls are printing
[+17] u/Force_Hammer: 🚨Oil execs have told the White House that they don't want to pay tolls to Iran🚨
https://www.politico.com/news/2026/04/08/hormuz-oil-trump-iran-tolls-00863570
[+16] u/Tillfatfire: DID U REALLY HOLD UR CALLS?? 🤡
[+16] u/SlfImpr: What are the most commonly used words on X:
"🚨BREAKING: "
Every damn influencer is starting their post with BREAKING: ....
[+15] u/ClaytonRook: Nobel peace prize. The Irany.
[+15] u/mrsweettreats: Supply shock is going to not creep in, but slam all these countries that were expecting deliveries the next 2 weeks
That's why there is panic to get a deal done, the real pain is just inches away
IMO Iran knows this, and will want to push it for that desired effect... Desperation, the TACOs only help Iran achieve this max pain
[+15] u/Athien: 🥭 could announce a 100% tariff on American paychecks and the market would still somehow pump up 2%
[+14] u/financiallythriving: I know you are holding puts and I just wanted to say you are retarded
[+14] u/Cheeseheroplopcake: Oh look.
Time for another bullshit head fake pump and dump.
They're just going to keep doing this, you know.
Getting people killed so they can squeeze a few more hundred mil out of options gamblers.
Based and baal pilled.
[+14] u/rusty888: How to trade Taco 🌮
- Trade exhaustion, not the pattern: Wait for the reversal engine to stall (e.g., 48-hour window closes without a walkback).
- Short small caps: The Russell 2000 is vulnerable without TACO protection, making it a great dispersion trade with large-cap tech.
- Put ratio spreads: A defined-risk play using options (buy 1 put, sell 2 puts lower).
- Iron condors: Harvest volatility premiums with a bull put + bear call spread combo.
- Event-driven failure: Long volatility when TACO breaks (monitor announcements, watch for no reversal).
[+14] u/Strangerdanger8812: My options did infact expire worthless like I foretold yesterday
[+14] u/Autistic-Bot: https://preview.redd.it/i47dfqzgo1ug1.jpeg?width=1206&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=761147f425a68ae9a2928c8c6a0e5840ce6d9c24
[+14] u/DingleJingle_: All of a sudden oil futures want to face reality. Couldn't do it while the market was open though.
[+14] u/dabblesest: Keeps bibi out of jail
[+13] u/rusty888: Ghalibaf says Iran's 3 clauses were violated, Vance calls it a positive, citing "broad agreement". Critics say 3 violated points ≠ only 3 points in contention; every point's disputed with red lines on both sides. Unlikely deal without major concessions, like on nuclear weapons
[+13] u/MoreOutcome8541: Bulls are gonna be madddd when they learn jensen is a con man
[+13] u/FabulousLanguage6216: Mods had one job, to put the correct date. Maybe they are extinct like all the bers.
[+13] u/Gtvle: SPY gained 2.5% on low volume. We are going down soon
[+13] u/BooBrew32: Crude oil slowly realizing that Mango is full of shit.
[+13] u/absolutxtr: Is it true that Iran attacked 17 different US bases during all this and this is why USA blocked satellite imagery to hide their shame about it? My initial thought was they don't want us to see Iran when they level it... But maybe this too?
[+12] u/GrandKnew: Bulls - Retards
Bears - Terrorists
Theta Traders - Messiah/Savant/Daddy
[+12] u/Leather_Floor8725: If you are still buying up here you ain’t black
[+12] u/Lederh94: Oh nice…I got like a quarter of my money back today
[+12] u/Brief_Carpenter_7457: Whole nation is a death cult
[+11] u/National-Log5203: Just went through my account statement since beginning of 2025 and found out I closed exactly 0 options trades in a profit 🥲
[+10] u/bilboomerbaggins: One more green day and we can start the year fresh pretending Q1 didn't happen
[+10] u/xeuropa: Oops: Iran says U.S. already broke the ceasefire🫠🫠🫠
[+10] u/CharmingSoil: It's funny that it's clear there is no real ceasefire and the strait remains closed and oil facilities are still being bombed and none of that matters.
[+10] u/Leather_Floor8725: The donors don’t want TACO. Uh oh!
[+9] u/guosongtao: Is it just me or Iran does not exist as one entity
IRGC don’t give a damn about the clerks in the government. Never did never will. And their own comms are broken as well.
Not only is there no deal. There Can Be No Deal.
[+9] u/Soft-Run-1954: Israel just fucked them up even more now 😂😂
[+9] u/winner_in_life: To know if someone is retarded, they have a verified check mark on facebook or X.
[+9] u/blumpkinspatch: A lot of people don’t understand how hard it is to get tipped off about announcements before they announce them. That’s why it should be legal. You have to be the son of the president.
[+9] u/ThanksDependent1001: So the pump and dump is back on!? 🫡
[+9] u/Forward-Ad5608: I'm thinking bibi acted unilaterally to bomb as much of hezbollah as he could before its too late, in known violation of the ceasefire. Embarrassing for Trump and he can't admit it, so him and Vance deny it was ever on the table. Behind the scenes they are pressuring Israel to stop, bibi probably will accept as he blew his load today. short oil, positive news incoming. thoughts?
[+9] u/AutomaticAerie4672: Who's this Al Jazeera fella, anyway? Seems to know a lot about what's goin on.
[+9] u/RollofDuctTape: 🥭 should just take control of all private owned oil companies if they are whining about tolls. Let’s lean in fully to the banana republic thing.
[+9] u/Worried_Quarter469: 🥭 has no way to leash 🐝🐝 because of the files
[+9] u/spectra444: Yes, they fucked up the thread and can’t change it lol
[+8] u/BooBrew32: HELP IM TRAPPED IN A TIME WARP
ITS ALWAYS APRIL 8!!
[+8] u/Ben10pronouns: Tsla is such a dirty slut
[+8] u/Noble_Bastard: Ghey ber always say "why is market going up? the economy is shit". Poor people don't own stonks bro, and rich people just keep getting richer.
[+8] u/Icommandyou: Surprising to me that oil companies aren’t outright revolting over Iran controlling the strait and US giving up on it
[+8] u/kananishino: How tf are we only 3% from ATH?
[+8] u/alfred250: Im watching you, meat in hand as we speak.
[+7] u/bilboomerbaggins: Dow had the best day since April 2025
I dont even know what the Dow is or who cares about it, but hey, congratulations
[+7] u/Yogurt_Up_My_Nose: damn, had a $18k day in shares.
[+7] u/eyerollingsex: When you just trying to have a low stress workout but the baddie is using the machine next to the one you want to use
[+7] u/Nanas_700k: So fuck mango for not giving us a “great time to buy” tweet this time. Missed out on a lot of that move.
[+7] u/AdventurousFinish681: Good thing I sold my oil positions this morning. I mean someone needs to make money off my terrible trades
[+7] u/sac10pa: Why can't I make a money when everyone is printing
[+7] u/spacegrab: https://i.imgur.com/wJ5BKcl.png
I told my financial advisor that I am the captain now.
[+7] u/SlfImpr: Lol, Israel blew up the ceasefire on the first day either due to this OR maybe they just like bl0wing shit up!
WSJ:
>**Exclusive: Israel Was Informed Late About Cease-Fire Deal and Wasn’t Happy**
Israel, which wasn’t formally part of the Iran negotiations, wasn’t happy that it got word that a deal was finalized at a late stage and wasn’t consulted, according to mediators and a person familiar with the matter.
[https://www.wsj.com/livecoverage/iran-war-2026-trump-deadline-latest-news/card/exclusive-israel-was-informed-late-about-cease-fire-deal-and-wasn-t-happy-s18QUNCt1s4fL60Rnn03](https://www.wsj.com/livecoverage/iran-war-2026-trump-deadline-latest-news/card/exclusive-israel-was-informed-late-about-cease-fire-deal-and-wasn-t-happy-s18QUNCt1s4fL60Rnn03)
[+7] u/Euphoric_Present8838: Hey mods I think your date is wrong? Tomorrow is the 9th
[+7] u/Curious-Visual4525: Don't forget that fundamentally Tesla is bullshit just like bitcoin.
It's literally nothing more than a promise by musk to make stuff in the future.
Their cars is not going to make them any money.
[+7] u/Gom_KBull: inb4 market realizes US effectively surrendered to iran
[+7] u/StankyDegen: Oil is just ticking up
[+7] u/MuchAd3474: 10 bucks says we will see mm pull out an effin miracle out of their ass
[+7] u/Leading_Form_8485: Lost all my gains fucking with spx at eod. I have a serious problem
[+6] u/Mission_Ad_6234: I wonder how many Canadian regards are here. Taking th e ttc rn
[+6] u/crossdefaults: The Hundred Years War lasted, like, a long time.
[+6] u/Double-Physics2449: I loaded up on 675 puts 4/9 before market closed today, any thoughts?
[+6] u/absolutxtr: Soon: ceasefire agreed part deux. Market +100000%. It's FOR REAL THIS TIKE GUYS. PROMISE.
[+6] u/DoubleFamous5751: *strongly resists the urge to send sexual suggestive messages to the baddie Latina customer in Teams*
[+6] u/UnitedCup1814: Sick Corvette next to me his Instagram is johnnyoptions. Probaly won't have that vette to much longer
[+6] u/Worried_Quarter469: the last oil shipments from the Gulf are expected to arrive in California around April 15th, assuming the strait remains closed.
[+6] u/BooBrew32: "Hey Mango it's me barron. I need another Taco trade."
[+6] u/Confident_Bee1447: Thinking about quitting my job. But I need money to throw into the fire on a weekly basis. How will I worship the Capitalist God without offering capital?
[+6] u/Hairy-Literature8672: How the fk MSFT up 0.5% on a fkin 3% day for the nasdaq. God i so regret DCAing the past 3 months of dips. Should put that money into winners. Lesson learned.
Ps. If it dips again ill probably buy more
[+6] u/jersey856: Seems like Israel is the tail that wags the dog at the moment
[+6] u/sytena10: Who programmed the date variable
[+6] u/WonUpH: Even as it was the most direct source of news about the end of the world I did not install truth social
[+6] u/TechnologyEven6926: Doctor called me today
He said “Your dog has cancer”
Golden Retriever. 8 years old
[+6] u/SZJX: Not sure how either side can back down and save face over Lebanon at this point... Unless Israel actually stops the attacks (which might take a while) or Iran just outright lies to the whole country and says the attacks have stopped while they really haven't?
[+6] u/Sweaty-Survey-9804: You don’t know shit about fuck. You are just reiterating the shit you see and placing your own little touch on the echo chamber.
[+5] u/Agitated-Ad-3995: I had 65% gains but then sold for $3 profit 😂 a win is a win
[+5] u/trsx5: SNDK is my nemesis stock, im always on the wrong side of that fucker. Same with MSFT.
[+5] u/longGERN: These fucking grocery stores putting "low price" stickers on stuff that's more expensive than last month
Also tomorrow is the 9th, short wsb AI
[+5] u/Necessary_Fly_9266: Guess I’m going to need some lube because my USO Puts are fked!
[+5] u/prana_fish: Hey $NVDA bulls.
It may be trading like shit, but at least it's not $MSFT.
Maybe if Jensen makes a solid trilly next quarter it can stay above $185 eh?
[+5] u/corporalboobs: Still holding USO calls and QQQ puts. 🌈🧸📉
[+5] u/plannedgravy: Ich habe ein gross Wiener
[+5] u/zipykido: I've come to the conclusion that the market is pricing in the musings of a lunatic and is no longer trading based on fundamentals.
[+5] u/Standard_Tea8250: Bears got their bussy demolished
[+5] u/tomato232: RDDT, ORCL, and MSFT are ready for liftoff. Get in before the crowd 🚀🚀🚀
[+5] u/baller1able: Yall had me thinking oil is mooning and USO is currently up only 0.47% 😭
[+5] u/Excellent_Baby_3385: Barron probably bought 1DTE calls yesterday
[+5] u/Significant_Speed854: Lol @ APLD dropping after earnings... MM know what retail loves. And know how to fuck them.
[+5] u/WonUpH: All aboard the oil rocket
[+5] u/shinigami_2245: COMPUTA ACTIVATE COCK AND BALL TORTURE SEQUENCE ON MY PORT
[+5] u/Yousoldmetohigh: Really could not have been more wrong there.
[+5] u/JohanLiebert92: i have basically 2 days to salvage what's left of my AMD puts which are down -78%, so I need like a 15 dollar drop, if anyone can do it, it's AMD but I know it's had enough of getting beat up
amen
[+5] u/NeedToMakeMoneyz: Oh my god I get it now. He’s waiting until Friday night..
[+5] u/Moped_Thief: I’m a professional top buyer.
[+5] u/throw-away-imessedup: Intel just casually going up 50% in a fucking week 😡
[+5] u/parallelogramm3r: APLD tanking on a massive earnings beat lmao
[+5] u/Elons-Musky-Balls: Futures trading is weird one night your makin 10k in 20 minutes shorting crude the next day nothing is moving or worth trading
[+5] u/AdventurousFinish681: I've been having dreams about arrakis
[+5] u/DeezCodeNutz: 1% cash -> 50% cash now - it was a good 24hrs
[+5] u/RagingBearBull: lol 🥭 told the pope he is the voice of God and he better shut up.
God Bles the SPX
[+26] u/WombatShwambat: Net and Yahoo is dropping bombs on Lebanon. Saudi pipeline hit by drone attack. Kuwait oil infrastructure attacked by drones.
Stock Media: “Markets rise on ceasefire hopes, forget about 🥭 threatening to nuke them that was so yesterday”
[+24] u/GuiltyShirt3771: So no one care about the straight open or not lol
[+20] u/barkwoofgrrr: US military strategy - when you fuck up a war badly, start threatening the Pope
[+19] u/Due-Dirt-8428: None of the 4 tankers that crossed the strait today had a single drop of oil in them 😂
[+17] u/TarrifJacksonJr: Only way the AI bubble can pop is an energy crisis
Only way an energy crisis happens is an oil shortage
Only way an oil shortage happens is a war
Since none of that will happen that means there is no bubble
Calls
[+15] u/nullzeroerror: Pakistan ambassador confirming Lebanon was included in the ceasefire lmaooooo clown ass world
[+15] u/goofy-boots: 0 chance this iran shit is over you idiots
[+14] u/bhmantan: this ceasefire is as real as the tariffs or doge checks
[+14] u/Careful_Response4694: Bulls: bears want to make money from people dying
Also Bulls: why should NASDAQ care about some third worlders dying on the other side of the world, AI to the moon, not my oil not my problem!
[+14] u/dljmonkeyboiz: NATO out, Asian allies out… you can’t rely on 🌮 and the world is finally realizing this. You gonna let your entire country go into an energy crisis or will you make direct deals with Iran and China? 🥭 taking Ls
[+13] u/Fineous40: Looks like he reopened his puts.
[+13] u/DaFlyingGriffin: Strait might open? Oil drops $27/barrel
Strait slams shut? Oil goes up $6/barrel
[+13] u/Fresh_Internal_6085: Why is nobody asking Diddy to release his emergency stocks of oil?
[+13] u/UsernameTaken_123: The guy above me is regarded ☝️
[+13] u/SimpleWire: Somehow I feel this war is punishment for failing to save the foundational core of American culture known as Blockbuster
[+12] u/jyohnyb: Is our media poisoning us
[+12] u/YNeverWAlone: Whenever I’m having a conversation with someone in life or giving unsolicited advice and I see in the persons eyes that it’s not making sense or not connecting I just say “just something to think about” and end the conversation and move on with my life.
[+12] u/GoZukkYourself: The overlap between geopolitical experts and fry cooks is quite noticeable.
[+12] u/FeelingCulture649: Someone here is -95% all time on their life savings robinhood port paying for dinner on the first "date" with grindr thots via klarna
[+11] u/bb483: know you’re over leveraged when you check futes every 5 min
[+11] u/Detonate-Ralph: "no ceasefire"
Proceeds to accept a ceasefire, gets bombed as everybody expected
Surprised pikachu
[+11] u/DebtOk4461: Is Baron available for this draft? It would be an honor to serve beside him.
[+11] u/DebtOk4461: You retards are getting drafted.
[+10] u/LakeSenior3577: 8 hours to learn an entire semester worth of content any suggestions
[+10] u/EdgeLordMcGravy: 4/24 $120c USO bought today.
I'm betting Israel fucks everything up again. Let's see how it plays out.
[+10] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: They should make the navy ships out of SPY shares. Fucking unsinkable
[+10] u/Interesting_Leg8859: wait, are u telling me mods are still manually inputting the date in the age of AI and automation ? my goodness thats regarded
[+9] u/DaFlyingGriffin: My trading strategy:
Very controlled with small gains adding up over days to weeks to reach a respectable profit over time -> lose most of my gains all in one day -> rinse, repeat
My risk management sucks yo
[+9] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: You think the aliens saw the Artemis II leaving Earth around the time the bombing in Iran started and thought, "Oh look, neat. Some of the smarter ones are trying to escape!"
[+9] u/palmanul: A truth blaming Hegseth and Bibi for everything would be very bullish
[+9] u/DanqueLeChay: 🥭: Remember Greenland?
[+9] u/Formal_Cockroach_314: who’s the individual that is pricing everything in, and how will we ever know if the price is right?
[+9] u/Free-Championship828: I’ve never seen a market behave like this and even in my finance studying in college I never read about this kind of behavior even during late stage cycles.
[+9] u/emanresu711: So I quit smoking today. Did not tell anyone nor search anything related to smoking. Somehow all I see in my social media is about smoking. Even saw a comment here said they might start smoking again. Stop watching me 😡
[+9] u/No_Fig_7835: you can just feel that we are going to give it all back tomorrow, its destiny with how things have been going...
[+9] u/BrilliantFun3367: I am buying Chevron because I don't know what I am doing 🤷♂️
[+9] u/PotentialFan8677: Ceasefires are so boring. I want some action
[+8] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: As a bull, imma just ignore any further bullshit in the Middle East and keep making money
[+8] u/bhmantan: back to greenland to distract from iran
[+8] u/Chancey004: I'm sure insurance companies will just let the tankers they cover go thru the strait after the IRGC provided a map to avoid mines. Seems realistic
[+8] u/Here4Retirement: Where does everyone get their news so quickly??
[+8] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: I am bull and I’m here to collect salty downvotes. Proceed 👇
[+8] u/BrownDog42069: what’s the point of a financial advisor when 99% of what they do is take your money and put it in an etf or mutual fund? This is a serious question
[+8] u/Snowman33001: lol Jesus maybe we really are entering WWIII
Still not selling. Permabull tard 4 lyfe
[+8] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: Remember when the internet was still good? 😞
[+8] u/jmc774: This guy right here has an AI girlfriend ⬆️
[+8] u/moviekid214: WILL THIS FUCKING GUY JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP
[+8] u/Independent-Craft-46: No more situations to monitor. Stuck watching the fuckass Twins. This is hell.
[+8] u/HomeMadeToast: Do we think Microsoft regrets getting into bed with OpenAI? Terrible PR for over a year now
[+8] u/UsernameTaken_123: The guy below me is regarded
[+8] u/Mysterious-Device-53: Probably bc you have puts
[+8] u/Any_Life_6178: Like Isreal fuckin shit up?
[+8] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: I think by nicotine, u mean cocks
[+7] u/doscervezas2017: English class, apparently.
[+7] u/FullCopy: The Dubai influencers are the true victims. Where would they go now to show off their douchebag lifestyle?
[+7] u/TheMightySet69: I knew USO calls this morning were going to be the move, but for no discernable reason, I bought SPY calls instead.
[+7] u/Shortify: This’s Baron’s stock market
[+7] u/Acceptable_Dirt69: Bers be like:
♿️♿️♿️
[+7] u/Weak_Emu3659: I'll remind you all that this is a subreddit for world class traders.
[+7] u/PushAble2463: Just leave the strait closed, jeez. A lot of straits in the world already, just forget about this one.
[+7] u/TheOriginalBushToad: Okay, this is weird. I'm currently watching an episode of MASH where a cease fire was announced, but then canceled by the end of the show. It's a sign. Gonna YOLO SPY poots. This ber gonna be in a Lambo by Friday.
[+7] u/Neverluckyinosrs: Futes are down .2% after a 3% day. Bears are fukt
[+7] u/ZombieDracula: I think I'm gonna short SanDisk. I think they've reached their price maximum.
[+7] u/rollsroysebaby: oh look, oil has a hard on again
[+7] u/Defiant-Fee-7550: Mods telling me I only have to Venmo them $10k for flair 😦🤌
[+7] u/sekak77: They said no deal, “ceasefire unreasonable”. 🤔
[+7] u/HomeMadeToast: It’s always been calls (on oil)
[+7] u/Internal-Cut-5890: Grandpa got bored back to Greenland
[+7] u/drytexterfinalboss: Same recycled regarded Claude "updates" keep tanking software day after day. It's all so tiresome.
[+7] u/dangernext: Bro , honestly never in my old ass life have I heard the word Hormuz in any context until now.
[+7] u/jglhk: what now? are we re-ceasefiring?
[+6] u/Discount_LionSafari: Only if you are an insider trader
[+6] u/neaturee: Boots on the ground soon. Butt plugs back in Bols going to need to stretch it out
[+6] u/StockB0Y: How's the market at the same price it was at the start of the war while America is worse for it
[+6] u/Nomynametoday: 🥭: ceasefire
🇮🇱: 🚀💥
🇮🇷: 😦
[+6] u/Maximum-Sign-5983: IS TRUMP GETTING IMPEACHED BULLISH?
[+6] u/ImOnTheBus: years ago read this book, The Psychology of Money. Had to look up the dude's name, but:
"Ronald Read (1921–2014) was a Vermont janitor and gas station attendant who secretly amassed an $8 million fortune through extreme frugality, long-term investments in blue-chip stocks, and the power of compound interest over decades. "
[+6] u/visageplayer: Does Cuba have a straight?
[+6] u/Jimbeauxer: 2 months ago I was deciding between gentian and chalk for my new Porsche. Today I’m digging through cushions in my couch for change to get food delivery
[+6] u/orsomeshitidk: In all my years on Al Gore’s Internet I have yet to find a place as retarded here with you fine folk
[+6] u/TequilaTrader: I took some profits today. This is guaranteed to drop again
[+6] u/2Frum4U: A populace that can barely cook their own meals let alone use the Save As dialog in Word is gonna learn how to use AI effectively
[+5] u/YNeverWAlone: If the us can’t rein in Israel from attacking Lebanon how can it guarantee that it can rein in Israel from unilaterally attacking Iran in the future?
[+5] u/Tall-Candidate3755: The market may prevail, but let me be clear, we are ALL cooked.
[+5] u/LongCucumber3710: Wow bol about to become door to door $5 blowjob salesmen
[+5] u/vCharged: I hope it’s red all night and green by open. Exhausted tired gay bears
[+5] u/rwc5078: I almost don't believe it
Sounds like there is more to the story
Did he live to 150? Was the blue chip NVDA?
[+5] u/stopdropandrauljulia: kathy woods is a paper handed fund mismanager
edit: my advisors have indicated to me that it's actually "Cathie", not only that, it's actually WOOD, singular. I hate this woman.
[+5] u/BahtMann: Learning how to trade has been a game changer for my port, now I can lose money with even higher conviction 🌞
[+5] u/Inner-Cobbler-2432: I switch several times a day and be sure while I do, I shittalk the other species here.
[+5] u/PooPooPointBoiz: Dude FUCK GODDAMN MSFT.
STUPID POS stock literally ended the day red. On a day where SPY ripped 2.3%. That's literally unheard of.
It's just bleeding for no goddamn reason at this point? Capex AI spending? GOOGL and AMZN have MSFT beat by a long shot.
Maybe MSFT needs to get their head out of their fucking ass and not make Win11 so bloated and full of shit. And make copilot actually useful. Even a smidge useful would be leaps forward from where this dumbass company is now.
[+5] u/noicedeb8r: Not sure if anyone made the joke yet but SNDK up 69.69 today
[+5] u/nascarhero: Actually read that as “GREENLAND, THAT BIG, POORLY RUN, PIECE OF SHIT” the first time
[+5] u/Goomba_PoopMushrooms: lol we back to levels before this shit show... waiting for another ride down LOL
[+5] u/MLGLies: Yeah - you pull out and sacrifice Hegseth & JD. Easy.
[+5] u/Clappindemcheekies: Mhmmm Iran preparing a response to Lebanon bombings
[+5] u/niloony: Korean mums group my wife is in is just having a casual discussion about Hitler.
Asia big mad now.
[+5] u/MeYouThemEveryone: Is invading Greenland already priced in?
[+5] u/fruitloop00001: Polar bears shut the Bering Strait - whale oil futures halted
[+5] u/chuastan: Seems mango missed reading the part of the 10 point that stated in bold that bibi had to stop being a dick
[+5] u/Issa_vibe74: I can’t wait to get drunk tn and fantasize about what my position could be only to be disappointed in the morning
[+5] u/Oneok-Field: Fuck it let's do Greenland. 🥭 seems to always win
[+5] u/hadizadam: "USE HER FAMILY TRAGEDY
SHE WON'T LIKE IT"
[+5] u/Thisguymoot: Strait can stay closed and the market won’t care. They know it’s fucked. The pump was never about that. It was about the hope that 🥭 is bored of it and leaving before fucking anything else up.
This was always going to happen as the rest of the world catches up in tech and the US can no longer guarantee safe passage in waters not adjacent to it. Trump accelerated it. We’ll deal with it. It was never a choice. Markets will recover as they grow accustomed to the new rules.
[+23] u/Prudent-Night-9340: I made $38.00 on one SPY put today.
[+22] u/Me-Regarded: I feel sorry for us all, ber and bol alike. Who can trade this?
[+21] u/ratbaby86: Cool: A group of new accounts on the prediction market Polymarket made highly specific, well-timed bets on whether the U.S. and Iran would reach a ceasefire on April 7, resulting in hundreds of thousands of dollars in profits for these new customers.
[+21] u/spudbro00: Who the fuck looks at all the horrible data coming out, full blown war, oil at 100, no end in sight and markets like 5% off all time highs and says hey what a great buying opportunity let me bid this dumpster fire up
[+18] u/illicit_FROG: Holy shit america... WTF are you doing?
[+16] u/ecco3k: Somehow I traded over 300k worth of securities in 2025 and my gain is less than $200 💀
[+16] u/The_Alan_Greenspan: Can you all chill the fuck out, please? Your incessant bitching and moaning is turning off the people in here who make me laugh. Go drink a beer or something.
[+15] u/WillTheGreat: Earlier I said: The ceasefire is hilarious because neither side can read, and it was mediated by another party that can also barely read.
Only to get validated that the ceasefire isn’t even written down. Turns out politics is even more retarded than degeneracy.
[+15] u/Pristine_Afternoon96: We have concepts of a ceasefire
[+14] u/killcon84: “Global nuclear war has begun”
spy: up 2%
[+13] u/WillTheGreat: Since last week the market has rallied 7% off the lows to be within 3% of ATH, based on the concept of a ceasefire that is apparently agreed upon but isn’t even written down as both sides now have their own interpretation of ceasefire based on hearsay.
I used to think many of you here are retarded, but I’m starting to think it is actually the market that’s retarded
[+12] u/All_FIREdUp: Do people even care about AI anymore?
[+11] u/thermalstress: So do we have a ceasefire or not at this point
[+11] u/Christiano97: Spy will green as the ceasefire is completely useless, bombs going off, strait still closed. Can’t make this shit up 💀
[+10] u/npdaly: 🥭 should just issue an executive order to rename the strait to the 🌈 of Hormuz. Then the IRGC will want nothing to do with it. Why do all this dumb shit?
[+10] u/asetniop: If the market is going to rocket on things like the ceasefire that are completely fabricated, how do I buy calls on Bryon Noem's tits?
[+10] u/CPA-hole: How lucky are we that we get to relive $100 oil over and over again
[+10] u/jroache: Are my calls fucking wrecked in the morning? I cant fucking tell whats going on
[+10] u/spudbro00: So for every 50% oil goes up, qqq drops 5%. We should hit a bear market once oil hits 500
[+10] u/Tay_Tay86: oil is apparently the creepy guy at the bar who wont leave the market alone
[+10] u/poot-lover: Oil nearing $100 per barrel again, hmmmmm
[+10] u/skymagic: is a draft kinda like a big sleep over? 😅
[+9] u/Kennenzulernen13: I’m buying sds
There is a hard cap at 680 right now and this temp ceasefire will last like 2 days max
So limited upside for spy and massive downside potential
[+9] u/Pristine_Afternoon96: This is headed strait for a collision course. Iran will not give up its uranium, Trump won’t let them have it. Feel like this only ends in one big mess
[+9] u/Illustrious_Lion7671: When ukraine war started, the market dipped, than recovered, then dipped again and in the end it took 2 years to recover.
I think this isn't over, but I'm not buying puts either, lol
My rule is: no options during 🥭 market and I sleep like a baby (I also stay poor).
[+9] u/IGotSkills: Hahah stupid Iranians they said it's a grease fire, not a cease fire.
[+9] u/Zfreezy: USO = Sleeping giant
[+8] u/ratbaby86: lol. 🍊 plans to use imported steel for his White House ballroom.
[+8] u/ballzstreetwets: Ok, so how is everybody doing tonight? Are you happy with all the SPY calls you bought? Sleep tight 😴 nothing can go wrong here, orange 🍊 will guide you through it
[+8] u/NiceJobSon: Bulls so rich and excited they ordered chrome rims and a rear wing for their Pontiac Aztec.
[+8] u/TreGet234: Time to panic sell everything tomorrow before the plunge back down?
[+8] u/Jadeclone1: Israel sacrificing itself to unite the middle east
[+8] u/ckami_91: 4/8: We declare a ceasefire!!
4/9: US declares victory!!
4/10: *US bombs Iran*
4/11: We will extend the ceasefire another 3 weeks!!
[+8] u/ckami_91: How to make money:
The algos see your trades and inverse you.. instant profit
LMAOOOO
[+8] u/botistic: Bol slaughter party tomorrow?
[+8] u/Dry-Syrup-882: Regrettably, I am handing in my bull card and joining theta gang for the next two days. Calendar spread it is
[+7] u/Iknowyougotsole: Absolutely no way tomorrow is green guaranteed
[+7] u/frogboyjr: do bers realize that in a few days when we get another fake ceasefire the market will jump another 3%
[+7] u/RunesDubloons: Take the deal...
We have a ceasefire!...
*explosion noises*
You're gonna sign that deal....
[+7] u/GainzandPumpz: Calls on oil at open
[+7] u/SouthNice7324: Does 🥭 know what NATO is? A defensive alliance in case another country is attacked. Not doing the attacking
[+7] u/RansomeRandom: Opened the app today, down 50% on my puts. Not great, not terrible.
[+7] u/FatandBankrupt: Sometimes when I jog my wiener goes in his cave
[+7] u/bruhhzilla: Israel can you stop acting like a pos for 10 fckn minutes
[+7] u/Fit-Win-536: Just had one beer, now two beers sounds like an amazing idea
[+7] u/glorifindel: Oil is going up up up! 💸💸💸
[+7] u/DonCenote: We need another pandemic
[+6] u/PimpCforlife: never thought i'd see the day where tucker fucking carlson is defending islam
[+6] u/aggieclams: Feeling cute, might cut my dick off later idk
🥰 🍆 ✂️
[+6] u/FearlessStatement144: my my my. what a difference a night makes. is anyone really surprised??
[+6] u/Spiritual_Taste_1253: Spy hitting 673.50 by open would make my day
[+6] u/bigmeatbag: With that latest truth is Donnie saying he's going to bomb Greenland next?
[+6] u/Paul_Robert_: *deep inhale*
*External screaming*
[+6] u/qx2: If you thought Israel gives two fucks about your calls you don’t understand why we are in this mess to begin with…
[+6] u/GuyFieriFrostedTips: No way Pete just pushs his hair back. That baby is slicked back! He for sure goes to Truffoni’s after a long night with the boys. White jeans, hair slicked WAY back. You know, a REAL asshole. Then when the waiters not looking he gives the sign to Rubio and the boys and they just dump water all over those medium rare steaks. Makes em EXTRA sloppy. The waiters are yelling no no no! But it’s too late…
[+6] u/PennyStonkingtonIII: You know the type - lives for New Years Eve.
[+6] u/Comfortable733: You can’t draft me I have bone spurs
[+6] u/xShiftfaced: Futures volume is completely dead lol
[+6] u/Illimited_Esoterica: So here we are 24 hours into the ceasefire and Iran has accused the US and Israel of violating the agreement and the strait remains closed. Exciting stuff.
[+6] u/Christiano97: Market will still pump tomorrow too like we solved world hunger
[+6] u/dvrmbl: Japan is doing it right by selling off. hopefully down 2% by end of day
[+5] u/COBRA_DROGO: When will MSFT have a 10% day like META? Asking for a friend obviously!
[+5] u/Green_L3af: Puts for gdp growth rate and core pce
[+5] u/Frosty-Pea-4577: so where did the weekly earnings thread go? any annoucements besides PPI on friday?
[+5] u/arthriticpug: i quit my job because money is just a number in someone else’s computer. it means nothing.
[+5] u/Efficient-Macaroon66: What should I do with $36k
[+5] u/Marcostbo: Meta released a model called Muse Spark
- It's not open source
- It's not even generally available in an API
Apparently it's in something called Meta AI. All benchmarks show it's not as good as Gemini, Opus or GPT 5.4
On the plus side, it's stock went up
Calls
[+5] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: “The fall of the protecting class walls transformed the slumbering majorities behind all parties into one great unorganized, structureless mass of furious individuals who had nothing in common except their vague apprehension that the hopes of party members were doomed, that, consequently, the most respected, articulate and representative members of the community were fools and that all the powers that be were not so much evil as they were equally stupid and fraudulent.” via Hannah Arendt
[+5] u/PimpCforlife: what are you (futures) going to do? bleed on me?
[+5] u/JellyfishFestival: It feels like we're about to go on a sequence of days where futures get really giddy every night, then the trading days grind down.
[+15] u/celebratorycremation: It’s a “hot ceasefire”. You know, a ceasefire where they still shoot each other.
[+14] u/Neel_Crashkari: Imagine Sydney Sweeny vs. AOC bikini oil wrestling
[+14] u/strip_club_dj: Overheard some boomer talking about the war and he called it the strait of hamas, you could tell it wasn't a joke or ironic. He just thought that's what it's called.
[+13] u/Tropicalfisher: GO GET YOUR OWN OIL!!!
[+13] u/superscarab: Bears will rise. There is no deal. Flava Flav would have done better.
[+12] u/Visible_Sentence_399: Do you know who has never bombed another country or started a war?
Kim Jon un
[+12] u/Late_Echo1453: I just keep fartin but not poopin… stanks in here
[+12] u/SeaweedLeft9746: $40 gallon gas is priced in?
[+11] u/Vort3x7689: one last pump before the overnight dump
[+10] u/IndependentUsual7444: I identify as a ceasefire
[+10] u/LegendsoftheHT: The four ships they let through the strait were full of bulls all jerking themselves off cause they’ll never land a heifer.
[+10] u/plzplzplztendies: Mods are sleeping
#MODS ARE GAY
[+10] u/poopieuser909: "The exiled son of Iran’s last shah has contradicted US claims that so-called “regime change” has taken place in Iran."
They are gonna ragebait the old man into dropping a nuke
[+10] u/SupramanE89: They’re awake. They just look like that
[+10] u/BarbellPadawan: This is literally the most regarded market of all time
[+9] u/Retaining-Wall: I actually think this is an exciting time to be alive.
We are achieving historic and breathtaking retardational forces never before seen let alone theorised. Hopes, once derided as retarded, are now bounding that we may indeed see in our lifetimes true artificial general retardation (AGR), capable of fucking up the simplest of tasks at the push (or uncoordinated smash) of a button.
Exciting times, folks.
[+9] u/pen15_club_admin: Is high af oil priced in now
[+9] u/TickTockTaudit: Be coke when others are weed.
[+9] u/-omar: Thinking I should sell off before annoying orange does some regarded shit again
[+9] u/CornMonkey-Original: now it’s just a narrative driven Ponzi scheme. . . . clearly the music never needs to stop.
[+8] u/ClarkFable: Who’s gonna stop them?
[+8] u/Neat-Ambition-2977: Stop shorting oil, you cowards
[+8] u/Vegetable-Acadia-766: Fuck you tesla why are u pumping u ugly fucking cunt
[+8] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: tf am i supposed to do with all this bridge day merch i got
[+8] u/BillyShears2015: My trading strategy is simple, every night I shotgun two beers, down two shots, and immediately rip a blinker. Then I let the spirits of my ancestors tell me what to buy
[+8] u/EyeSea7923: Extension filed. About 6 months to gamble this tax money
[+7] u/ArtisticFrame5790: I think 4 passed today but they stopped it because Israel bombed Lebanon
[+7] u/MythicSuper: Not sure about tomorrow but thinking of buying some 600 SPY puts for April 30… let’s see what happens
[+7] u/-medicalthrowaway-: It’s strait, retards.
#STRAIT
[+7] u/Lurk_Maximus: Invoke the 69th amendment
[+7] u/360drive69: I bet they are going to take away the fifa peace prize after this
[+7] u/Ok-Analysis4121: My dick is too big to be drafted. I'd be a liability
[+7] u/NoBuyers: The oil isn't flowing - but who cares? It's a vibe. 🕊️☮️
[+6] u/-B-H-: Is oil going up again, now that the strait is closed again? Too obvious to work?
[+6] u/DesignerSea494: I’m just a few years from retirement, in my early 40’s. One good bullish 20% run sometime over the next few years and it’s done.
Which of course means we are about to enter the longest sustained bear market in a generation…
[+6] u/HalaMadridPapaFlo: lmao bers futes are not very red
[+6] u/Late_Echo1453: #Tonsil stones are just trapped mouth farts
[+6] u/amanj41: Will probably have a 10% day soon, maybe not in the direction we want
[+6] u/bklotrgoblet: I thought hurricane season was over
[+6] u/syedhuda: i once made money in 2008 with puts....since then ive been losing for 18 years but one of these days this fugazi gonna collapse
[+6] u/Smuvmuniz: Why is oil dropping?
[+6] u/dqdg: US and Iran disagree about whether truce includes Lebanon. There has to be a joke in there, somewhere
[+6] u/Jemmani22: The ceasefire is all fine and dandy. But what if he 🌮 his 🌮? For the 2 for 1 pump and dump
[+5] u/SwiftMindDD: Don't worry, we have CPI on Friday to remind everyone.
[+5] u/True_Truth: We just needed them to write something stupid so we can pamp et and dump et. Rinse and repeat
[+5] u/Adventurous-Date-397: I haven’t eaten since Thursday morning, doing a fast, and goddam sometimes the hunger hits me lick a sack of bricks, but the benefits I’m seeing make it worth it, I’ve lost 12 pounds. Lemme tell you, you don’t know what hunger is until you’ve gone a week without food.
[+5] u/OrionJohnson: Damn, that sucks. I’m having tacos right now they’re fire.
[+5] u/BillyShears2015: Let this be a lesson, always take profits kids.
[+5] u/MakeResonableChoices: It’s wild how tired you can get just from busy days at work even working from home and not manual labor.
[+5] u/smellyfingernail: Corn to 0 on satoshi being some dweeb. It’s over and lost all its aura
[+5] u/Kwkatnip: I didn’t even know North Korea was firing test missiles, I hope they like stop. It’s not the time for that.
[+5] u/Massive-Assistant387: We’re in a Pinned Regime; MM and Dealers are buying dips and selling rips automatically because of their algos. SPY 675 is where it snapped back to twice, and it’s purely mechanical.
[+5] u/cromwest: I'm pretty sure I lost real money during the fake pump
[+5] u/Excellent-Skill-4647: I think 95% of earths population is ready for the final term to end so we can put this all in the past
[+5] u/Quarter-Normal: Aslong as this war goes on these files aren’t coming out
[+5] u/aioliravioli: damn intel back at 60 is crazy
[+5] u/tristis_veritas: >CNN - There is a lot still unknown about the ceasefire deal.
So what's actually going on? No one actually knows if we're still at war or not? No one knows who is telling the truth about what the "deal" even is because one is our enemy, but we're also not sure our leaders are lying to us or not on what was agreed on?
[+5] u/Professional_Con_007: Mods are no longer ghey but not straight either just a bunch of trapped hormus
[+18] u/Kabrosif: Bols still don’t know 95% of all Helium comes from LNG production as it is a by-product from natural gas being cooled to -193 degrees Celsius. Helium cannot be replaced in Microchip Manufacturing and as long as the straits closed their Tech Calls and Stocks are fuk.
This has been a 🌈ber report. 🫡
[+16] u/Yasqweenn: I’m feeling uso calls tomorrow 🤭
[+16] u/Unique_Zucchini1041: I’m jerking off to forget about this
[+15] u/No_Lobster_1102: Good night bulls, don't forget to wear your retainers
[+14] u/socrates4eva: Don’t come at me because I ain’t no ber but the market has been red almost every Thursday since January
[+14] u/schleeper1: puts r almost too obvious
[+14] u/Routine-Agent-160: Markets flat for tomorrow morning data news.
Based on how Japan crashed at open, we might crash tomorrow.
[+14] u/Yasqweenn: Down 4K this year. I’m really bad at this. 🤭
[+13] u/DragonFruit-_-777: Welp that was the biggest bull trap
[+13] u/CarcossaYellowKing: The woman in charge of the SEC enforcement division resigned in March due to being told to stop investigation and prosecution and peeps around here will still say this isn’t the most rigged market in modern history. I just hope I can catch the crash when the market makers realize pissing off all your allies that would have potentially bought your software isn’t bullish.
[+13] u/EpiphyticOrchid8927: Only 4 vessels have managed to cross the Strait of Hormuz since the ceasefire started, none tankers -NYT
The last transit was yesterday morning, no vessels have completed a crossing since the IRGC declared Hormuz closed due to ceasefire violations.
[+12] u/trollercentral: Ceasefire is basically fucked at this point and its only a day in. Puts it is
[+12] u/2lowkey: The snow on wall street must be flowing like the 80’s, no other justification for this action
[+11] u/FeverTreeCloud: #i drink myself to sleep every night 🍷
[+10] u/Normal_Finance_3083: #Strait open but ships not moving through ROFL🤌
[+10] u/Toothlesskinch: End of this month J Ppw is going to have actually physically turned into a hawk. The FOMC meeting will consist of him flying into the room with a still twitching, salmon in his talons that he will eat at the podium while shrieking at any reporter that gets too close.
[+10] u/Phandomtrigger: Lol straight closed back up already and wall street just ignoring it
[+10] u/fartpooppee420: I think gas should get to $10+ a gallon so the poors will have to learn how to use a horse & carriage again
[+10] u/chikenbeer: Loll barely any loss porn c'mon bers y don't u share
[+10] u/Democrazy_: Oil back at $95 per barrel again lol, without a ceasefire it will be right back at $107🛢️🔥🛢️🔥
[+10] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Please crash so I can buy the dip
[+10] u/shmito17: Nope, market doesn’t give a fk.
[+10] u/bendraw: Okay, see you tomorrow.
[+9] u/WendyDumpsterFire: I love this subreddit you regards make me laugh
[+9] u/wenxuan2: Good news - pump 2-3%
Bad news - dump -0.5-1% at most
So in the end the market still continues to pump up in long term. Any good news and it just spikes and recovers every dip
[+9] u/NaluknengBalong_0918: I heard we need a dance! 💃💃💃🤣
[+9] u/EpiphyticOrchid8927: lol china ordered the president of australia to attend a meeting where they decide how much oil australia gets
[+9] u/Kattilaeikka: Imagine believing any ceasefire involving israel would hold.
[+9] u/YouKnown999: Straight is closed again, you savoury ducks!
[+9] u/Toothlesskinch: I'm going to need to speak to you in the office at the end of your shift.
[+9] u/housemouse431: isreal really did mess up this ceasefire today....like wtf man
[+9] u/renedotmac: 🥭 has been suspiciously quiet today…
[+8] u/fudge_mokey: that is a very flat 24 chart on SPY lol
[+8] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Please crash so I can buy more dips
[+8] u/Usedillusion7: How can anyone with a IQ over 70 zoom out 6 months and still call yourself a bol without feeling like a complete embarrassment to your family?
[+8] u/FeverTreeCloud: #its been awhile since I got shit faced drunk 😵💫. Gotta fix that soon
[+7] u/ThetaGrim: I miss the wsb emojis
[+7] u/RockasaurusRex: YoY inflation this Friday expected to be highest it's been in 2 years. Lol
[+7] u/fartpooppee420: Once again, Amish supremacy runs supreme. Those mf'ers don't give a shit about the Strait of Hormuz. Gas prices? We don't give a damn. We'll ride our horses down your streets and have them SHIT right in the middle of it. Take THAT, gas freaks.
[+7] u/Independent_Ad1086: >JUST IN: Eligible males aged 18-25 will be automatically registered for US military draft starting this December.
this is bers' retailation
[+7] u/mustang37116: don’t want bad things to happen just want the truth come out 💀 it’s bad enough
[+7] u/Opposite_Day_9771: Who bought the pump today and why? Is it 80% bots? Why do you think the ceasefire would hold or even be realistic? Why would the US let Iran and essentially China control Gulf oil? Why would Israel go along with it? Based on economics with a revenue stream of 2 million USD per tanker, Iran would dominate Israel by funding their proxies. You'll end up with two choke points with the Houthis. The safe bet is to assume Iran's oil infrastructure gets destroyed sooner or later. Anything else is unacceptable from a geopolitical point of view. Trump is not the US let's be clear. He's not in control which is obvious.
[+7] u/DrummerCompetitive20: Tsla is -30% since war time Elon returned lol
[+7] u/Putrid_Pollution3455: What are my moves tomorrow April 8th?
[+7] u/GuyFaulks77: If spy is green tomorrow im selling everything
[+7] u/bluen: I feel like orcl layed off their now new competitors
[+7] u/Hot-Ambassador8740: You’re all going to learn what gap fill means in the next 2 days
[+6] u/volckerwasright: Everyone memes of Cramer but when they actually launched Inverse Cramer ETF that shit blew up
[+6] u/Thin_Response_2689: Some of you regards are saying up and some are saying down tomorrow which is it
[+6] u/Nice_Dragonfly9762: I mean no one can argue trump is dumb. He just
“specianal”
Yea calls for the rest of the month
[+6] u/Typical-Layer-1253: Lmao the bears are so angry they missed out on a +3% QQQ day
[+6] u/rightovahere: So we closed the strait again but we just all agreed not to care or what? Buying puts is legit just lighting money on fire atp, nothing matters anymore
[+5] u/Acrobatic-Dingo3675: based on this guy's record you might be on to something
[+5] u/VeryMercurial: Yeah yesterday was the start of new “market detached from reality” phase.
No reason we should still be anywhere near these levels so big money knows something we don’t.
[+5] u/WhiteCollllarCrime69: Dear Berrs,
Thank you for giving me all of your monies. It reminded me of taking candy from a baby.
Yours truly,
The best looking dude on WSB
WCC ✍🏻
[+5] u/larry_hoover01: inflation. good economic data was bad, bad economic data was good.
[+5] u/surmoiFire: just watched the military draft in Thailand this year on youtube, many of you can learn how not to get drafted from it.
[+5] u/Napster-mp3: Anyone have the algo cheat sheet?
[+5] u/Chrg88: Stretched out another week of not getting haircut. Feel like a Ber
[+12] u/ChickenYip: imagine going to bed at night knowing your a mod on wsb
[+12] u/DingDangandChill: All U.S. Ships, Aircraft, and Military Personnel, with additional Ammunition, Weaponry, and anything else that is appropriate and necessary for the lethal prosecution and destruction of an already substantially degraded Enemy, will remain in place in, and around, Iran, until such time as the REAL AGREEMENT reached is fully complied with. If for any reason it is not, which is highly unlikely, then the “Shootin’ Starts,” bigger, and better, and stronger than anyone has ever seen before. It was agreed, a long time ago, and despite all of the fake rhetoric to the contrary - NO NUCLEAR WEAPONS and, the Strait of Hormuz WILL BE OPEN & SAFE. In the meantime our great Military is Loading Up and Resting, looking forward, actually, to its next Conquest. AMERICA IS BACK!
[+12] u/NoHotel8452: Putting my life savings on spy puts
[+12] u/DestinyyyOfficial: Sooo load up on 0dte puts tomorrow?
[+11] u/Kind_Initiative_7567: Ths homies are ceasing to cease the firing lmaooo
[+11] u/Daveonaltair4: It will open up naturally.
[+11] u/Tommyd023: Oils up, straits closed, israel keeps bombing. Calls in the morning?
[+11] u/Practical_March2024: Toll has to be paid in bitcoin ...A government chose bitcoin because the money cannot be frozen.
[+11] u/patricktu1258: I am stressed as fuck
[+10] u/Hellmale: Don’t forget to buy your puts tomorrow.. Friday after hours will be a mess [insider]🤔
[+10] u/tripstermcgee808: BREAKING NEWS: MSFT STILL SUCKS DICK AND ISN’T EVEN GOOD AT IT
[+10] u/AmeriMan2: I remember $1.95 per gallon time.
Now it's over $5 in Manhattan. I'm about to just sell my car. Im stranded anyway.
[+9] u/BettyRedHerring: I’ve got 99 problems…
(And money could solve 97 of them)
[+9] u/StyleActual2773: Infinite market glitch = Declare ceasefire: market up 2.5%. Declare broken ceasefire: market down .25%. Delcare ceasefire: market up 2.5%, rinse and repeat.
[+9] u/helicopter_pocket: Just did my taxes and used the first of my capital loss deduction. Got at least 15 more years locked in.
[+9] u/Good_Application6245: what a privilege it is to look at this situation and think how do i profit off of this instead of how tf do i survive this
[+9] u/clockwork5ive: Playing WoW for the first time in like 15 years. You can literally fly around on a dragon fast as fuck like 2 hours into the game now 😂
I remember saving gold for like a week for my first slow ass mount back in the vanilla days. And that’s after it took like 100 hours to get to level 40.
[+9] u/tripstermcgee808: Market open, on a Thursday: “*The Gang exploits a ceasefire*”
[+9] u/Ordinary_Chance2606: Ceasefire lasted 12 hours
[+9] u/Temporary_Inner: Having more mods lessens the chance of weird ego mods taking over
[+8] u/yayahi: If you’re not long oil rn u deserve poverty
[+8] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: some people actually pay for misinformation
[+8] u/Temporary_Inner: Someone has to show the secret service Old Yeller. Maybe they'll get it.
[+8] u/clubdirthill: What’s it called when you 🌮 a 🌮?
[+8] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: And here comes the unhinged X tweet like clockwork
[+8] u/Horcsogg: Do I fomo into oil now? Got damn, got rugpulled hard before.
[+8] u/Ok-Session6679: Oil will pump in 2 hours when EU wakes up
[+8] u/PalsRocksMyWorld: Aight. So 🥭 really came up with a fake ass peace deal just to pump the markets?
Fucking legend.
Too bad none of us are in the club that gets that knowledge ahead of time.
[+8] u/Temporary_Inner: Let me tell you how NFL players usually handle that
[+7] u/RoaringPity: is it open or wat? Did he close and threaten another civilization or not? Boring wed night wtf
[+7] u/PompeiiSketches: He said the military is looking forward to its next conquest.
If I were in Cuba I would be a little bit worried
[+7] u/aRawPancake: I’m probably going to panic sell these puts I bought after immaculate TA and immediately after expect the market to crash
[+7] u/qui_tam_gogh: Iran isn't fixed, but the market sure is.
[+7] u/diefy7321: You know damn well bers were gooning to CNN pushing the continued strikes and bought puts lmfaoooo
[+7] u/LasyKuuga: Playing a game after like 17 seasons of not playing.
I feel so old chat
[+7] u/AllTimeTy: It’s a 3 million person sub
[+6] u/Bravadette: Oh I didnt lnow you could drag the scroll button around hmm... why isnt there a return-to-top button?
EDIT: oh wtf just tap the title lmfao
[+6] u/BoomerSharkBoy: I HATE that everyday is a new day
[+6] u/FelixMumuHex: Bloodbath tomorrow. Lube up.
[+5] u/cjc979: The same thing we do everyday Pinky
[+5] u/Alone_Mobile_4974: All right, I got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is that I'm gonna have to shut down the strait. The good news is that I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance
[+5] u/_dudehangsdong: They keep getting arrested for dine and dashing
[+5] u/LarsTarkas: Putting a yolo spy 700 call may not be a bad idea. All it would take is 5 more fake pakistani pm tweets
[+5] u/No_Stand5622: If you believe market dont crash, i have 2 weeks ceasefire to sell you
[+5] u/trothechemist: It’s gonna go up (I’m holding puts)
[+5] u/CigInside: Why don’t they just announce another fake ceasefire . Or tariffs and take them off a day from now
[+5] u/Major-Bad-1203: SPY daily chart line straighter than Hormuz
[+5] u/Striking-Fig924: Fuck it, let’s have another ceasefire agreement tomorrow for another pump til we get back to 700
[+5] u/1bizzyone: Checking this fuking sub, "What are your moves tomorrow, April 8, 2026" should be and has always fuking been the following day like April 09 2026
[+16] u/eje0100: This war will go down as one of the biggest mistakes ever made by a President.
[+15] u/Soffatjockis: Market: YAY! PEACE IS UPON US! HORMUZ WILL OPEN AND RAINBOWS WILL EMERGE FROM THE SKY!
Netanyahu: Not so fast, I'm still the biggest cunt on the planet.
Market: *surprised pikachu.jpg*
[+14] u/Nubesrojas7: What the fuck are you guys doing here right now. markets closed. I’m here cause of my 1DTE anxiety
[+12] u/AcademicStandard3701: How long can the market ignore reality?? Puts across the board are getting torched
[+12] u/NoFuckingValue: Dumb question but why not pretend to open the strait every day? We could compound the entire stock market 2% a day forever which could pay for a lot of things.
[+11] u/Competitive_Ride: I’ve lost too many braincells to understand what’s going on.
[+9] u/happy30thbirthday: Can you guys just tell him not to touch or say anything ever again, please? That'd be great, thanks.
[+9] u/sanndman: This is the dumbest war ever.
[+9] u/Regular_King_4157: Fear not bols. If PCE comes hot and market tanks tomorrow, our lord and savior Barak Ravid of Axios has news ready about another set of ceasefire which are in almost ready in addition to ceasefire already signed. So double ceasefire...
[+8] u/Ok-Poetry-4721: I'm starting to think America isn't as powerful militarily as they say they are guys
[+8] u/Josh1172: Is trump getting impeached bullish?
[+8] u/OsamaBinBrowsin: Got a $5k vet bill. Losing money even as cash gang rn
[+8] u/TheSamWithNoName: Based on how this went, somehow Greenland will end up owning Maine or something.
[+7] u/TheRealJohnOptions: He was getting pegged in those files wasn’t he
[+7] u/Extension_Source8263: That Trump tweet legit didn’t move the market one bit lol
[+7] u/Separate_Fold5168: People always forget Taco Tuesday is immediately followed by Waffle Wednesday
[+7] u/Blownofftheblock: You ever fight with your brother when you’re younger and your mom or dad tell you to stop, then when they leave he hits you again? Same thing.
[+7] u/nsfwnsfwnsfw33333: The original big titty blonde is from Europe though. Americants are so retarded, no wonder you lost to a sheep herder with a drone
[+7] u/jazzgrackle: If you think about it, you should always be bullish on oil.
All things being equal there are two scenarios
1. Oil gets more expensive, you’re bullish and have made money. This makes the extra money you pay for gas not too bad.
2. Oil gets cheaper. You lost money on your bets, but you’re saving money because oil is cheaper. Basically, you’re kind of breaking even.
Therefore always bullish on oil.
[+7] u/Clubpenguin8888: Let me know that I’ve done wrong
When I’ve known this all along
[+6] u/1foxyboi: Booty shorts and thigh highs undefeated
[+6] u/Icy_Jelly_315: Jesus
Parallel with Herodotus is awesome. Oracle to Croesus of Lydia: if you invade Iran you will destroy a great empire. Plot twist: it was the Lydian empire
[+6] u/sanndman: Hes already moving onto Greenland. He cant fight a 2 front war.
[+5] u/sanndman: Were gona have to pay Greenland 1 million dollars every time a plane passes the Atlantic ocean.
[+5] u/slinkywheel: futes flat because no one knows what tf is going on
[+27] u/xeemyy: https://preview.redd.it/vhm9k862w3ug1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=545107f7ea374d8621def123fb63dacff4c864dc
[+17] u/MasterpiecePurple302: Can’t believe I missed spy’s earnings call yesterday
[+14] u/arothen: Iranian drone attacked saudi east-west pipeline, the one pipeline that lets skip the Hormuz strait 💀💀💀
[+13] u/DrElkSnout: So, the war is over, all of us have received our DOGE checks, healthcare is affordable, inflation is under control, interest rates are low, we can all afford houses and our pay is now keeping up with living costs and a bunch of people from the Epstein files were actually punished. Thank God!
Oh, wait... fuuuuuuuuck
[+12] u/Everythingisokey: Seems like the peace was complete bs so today we -4 % ?
[+11] u/AgitatedJump8459: OIL BULLS GATHER FOR DUTY
[+9] u/Adventurous-Iron251: Strait still closed? check. War still ongoing? check. Stock market goes up? check
[+9] u/puts_every_day: Literally 0 movement as everyone is waiting for something to happen, and because nothing ever happens we will have another theta day 🥲
[+9] u/MakeOSUGreatAgain63: Bought USO after market with limit orders
Let’s see what happens 🍿
[+8] u/Jagged_Tide: “Refining production has declined by 3,000,000 barrels and will take months to repair and get back up to pre-war capacity” — Andy Lipow, CBS News Chicago. Sounds like the Strait itself isn’t even one of the biggest issues
[+8] u/I_am_Nerman: The USS Ford is back in action and the USS Bush is on the way. Bush will be there before the ceasefire timeline ends.
[+8] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: I have a COMPUTAH 🫴🤖
[+7] u/Revolver_Lanky_Kong: "Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. The cost of one modern heavy bomber is this: a modern brick school in more than 30 cities. It is two electric power plants, each serving a town of 60,000 population. It is two fine, fully equipped hospitals. It is some fifty miles of concrete pavement. We pay for a single fighter with a half-million bushels of wheat. We pay for a single destroyer with new homes that could have housed more than 8,000 people. This is not a way of life at all, in any true sense. Under the cloud of threatening war, it is humanity hanging from a cross of iron.^(") \- Dwight D. Eisenhower
"In the meantime our great Military is Loading Up and Resting, looking forward, actually, to its next Conquest. AMERICA IS BACK!" - 🥭
[+7] u/Chopteeth: this is weird, Al Jazeera is reporting that the IDF has struck Southern Lebanon twice in the last hour, but there's literally no mention of it on Times of Israel. there could be some kind of media blackout going on in Israel to prepare for something big
[+7] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: I really don’t care about the fundamentals of a company as long as the share price goes up before I sell it.
I think a lot of people miss that the analysis, DD, TA, market research, etc are all secondary to the true goal of selling things for more money than they cost when you bought them.
[+7] u/Micheal_Hancho: Vance: Throw in that nice looking sofa over there and you got yourself a deal 🛋️😏
🇮🇷: 😦
[+7] u/iswearnotagain10: Morning is dawning on Tehran. Oil is probably waiting to see if the strait is actually still closed before continuing the run up.
[+7] u/Psychological-Web190: Did you see Trump tweet?!
LMAO we are soooo cooked! 😂😂😂
[+6] u/Mycologist-Active: Spy to 8 billion on nuclear war. Oil and gas are 50 million a gallon
[+5] u/BLADIBERD: bears would've risen back to life like Jesus
[+5] u/svpa3991: Someone tell mango we got ICE at home. Leave poor Greenland alone
[+5] u/Unlikely-Evening2919: IM GONNA BUSS SO HARD IN MY BEAR PUSSY. PLEASEEEEEEE MAKE IT GO DOWWNNNN. I NEED TO BUSS
[+18] u/Appropriate_Sky_4509: My family thinks I’m the smart one cuz I don’t have a gambling addiction like the rest of them
They don’t even know stock options exist or that I’ve lost my entire life’s savings
I guess I should look into an acting career.
[+15] u/No_Judgment_9267: Why the fck did I went all in on MSFT ? It's such a pain to live life when you are retarded...
[+15] u/daedalus_dance: >An oil industry consultant to Politico on Iran’s Hormuz toll: “We didn’t have to do that before — and I thought we won the war.”
Lol.
[+15] u/Salty-Bid1597: Everything is exactly the same as it was two weeks ago and the market is 6% higher.
Seems logical.
[+14] u/PeeOnDusk: Two week ceasefire? Nah, it was a too weak ceasefire
[+12] u/VariousScenes: We've already seen ber extinction event, now show me the bol extinction event
[+10] u/SeliciousSedicious: PUMP THE MARKETS YOU CRAZY BASTARDS
[+10] u/drakilian: We're gapping up like 2% tomorrow and I couldn't tell you in a million years why
[+10] u/Psychological_Fly109: Still so bearish in here, too many WW3 comments.
Calls + Short oil
[+8] u/TraditionalRock9626: got banned for calling the bers gay
[+8] u/randomquartile1: I believe a lot of selling will happen at open. It is going to be a red day. So, calls!
[+8] u/LaserBeamer17: I WILL BECOME PILOT AND I.. I WILL FIGHT FOR PAKISTAN
WOWWW PILOT, GRAPE
[+8] u/Ready-Tennis8577: Jerking off right now thinking of you reading this. Yes you
[+7] u/jraiv420: Bols eating chitlins and watergate salad if oil gets back over 100
[+7] u/Such_Coin: Anybody know what our Iranian Quant is saying for tmw?
[+7] u/Sandvicheater: Markets acting like the war is magically over, oil gonna be personally hand delivered by Jesus himself with Vix dipping below 20 for the first time in months.
LOL a week later when the cease fire goes out the window and we're back to 30+ vix and newbie bulls here screaming rigged markets.
[+7] u/Bubbledood: One of our top guys got canned and everything immediately fell apart and went to shit *sigh* time to start looking for a new job
[+7] u/The_Juice_Gourd: Guys how many miles does your car get per 🥭 tweet
[+6] u/Familiar_Gazelle_467: Commodities might just outperform stonks for a very very long time
[+6] u/AdCritical5383: >Michael Burry, known to close friends as Ligma, was hit by a bus this afternoon while driving to visit his secret lover and CEO of SPY, Martin Supdog.
>Early analysis indicates he attempted to pivot his vehicle out of the way using witchcraft, shouting yeah yeah yeah yeah, I’m not selling but was too late.
>Market analysts believe his fragile emotional state over the recent SPY short squeeze and his related paper losses were partially to blame. He appears to have lost it all. The plunge protection team certainly did their job and made sure there was no time to short it.
>Later in the day an eye witness recorded Mr Burry saying Fap fap fap fap fap bagholder spotted !Guh sell oh my gourd I spilt my choccy milk. What will my Muslim wife think when I stopped doing no fap? I’m not fucking selling. Illuminati is watching.
>We’re not sure what to make of this, but our reporting will continue.
>More on Boomer News at 6pm. This is not financial advice.
[+5] u/kodaksdad2020: Already priced in (not kidding)
[+5] u/Full_Boysenberry_198: You youngsters are gonna get autopen drafted
[+5] u/Financial_Fan1763: Taco 🌮 Tuesday in shambles 😭
[+21] u/hypeaze: I wonder if a butterfly ever wanted a tattoo of a fat single mother on its lower back.
[+15] u/chuck_portis: Most of you have never even swam in the Hormuz and it shows
[+14] u/Knarre30: So nice to see that we can pump on fake news but dont dump when these lies get exposed. Strait is closed but spy is up since tuesday. Very healthy market.
[+11] u/KarlLachsfeld: >ISRAELI MILITARY SAYS IT HAS KILLED LEBANON'S **HEZBOLLAH CHIEF NAIM QASSEM**, NO CONFIRMATION FROM GROUP
This will provoke no reaction from Iran whatsoever.
Nevermind, it was just the nephew. LMAO.
>ISRAELI MILITARY SAYS IT HAS KILLED THE NEPHEW OF LEBANON'S HEZBOLLAH CHIEF NAIM QASSEM (NOT NAIM QASSEM HIMSELF)
[+11] u/Chlo-Motion: The ceasefire between me and my portfolio has been violated. Tomorrow it's gonna start drilling again 😔
[+11] u/tandoori_taco_cat: If you having oil problems, I feel bad for you, son
I got 99 problems but a Strait ain't one
[+10] u/n1ck90z: bears celebrating -0.4% after a 2.3% day. Green by EOD btw
[+9] u/HeavyArmsJin: I know you hate buying puts Bulls so just get oil calls
[+9] u/arbitraryBlue: 🥭 and Israel gonna fuck this up, aren't they? 😭
[+9] u/tandoori_taco_cat: bers vindicated, but insolvent
[+9] u/stupidber: This entire war was a hoax set up by big oil. Have you even ever seen a whore moose in real life??? Open your eyes sheeple
[+9] u/mrbipty: Oil is basically free money today
[+9] u/ShittyUsernane1222: \> 🥭 threatens pope with Avignon papacy
puts on US bonds and financial assets
[+8] u/polodolo98: FUTURES BLOOD RED, DEAD CAT BOUNCE CONFIRMED. Bearish till midterms at least
[+8] u/SirBuysHighALot: Should I also become a Microsoft bag holder?
[+7] u/Possible-Material693: Damn finding people you know on the registered sex offender list is a weird feeling
[+7] u/ruskyandrei: Honestly at this point from a logical pov, even if the ceasefire holds and no more bombing happens (assuming Israel is pressured by Trump to stop), I think the negotiation will take forever (in spite of what Vance says, there's heavy contention on many points) and there's no way Iran will just open the strait for free in the meantime, they'll let a few ships through and toll them.
So, surely at some point the economic damage that was done and will continue to be done will take its toll on the market, right ? ... right ?
[+7] u/Alone_Education_2530: HE DOESNT SHUT HIS MOUTH
[+7] u/virtual_billionaire: Just wait for the drop, this pump is so fake
[+7] u/wolfenstein734: What’s mangos next move? Greenland again or Cuba?
[+6] u/nthnreallymatters: wait so ceasefire broken, strait still blocked, iran is basically out of talks
and we're still pumping? lol
[+6] u/glutathionegod: WAKE UP, bols. Once this ceasefire officially breaks, SPY will only goes down from here! - (Regarded ber)
[+5] u/Molten-Helldiver: What is the market waiting on?? Bers wen circuit breaker???
[+17] u/__nameless____: So, basically 🥭 told pakistan pm to tweet about proposing ceasefire lmao
[+15] u/Unh0lyCatf1sh: this ceasefire is about as real as the Big Titty Goth gf I dream about having every night
[+13] u/ScytherDOTA: Misplaying the taco tuesday is haunting me, have been daydreaming and no will do work at all. Good morning regards
[+13] u/AirwickS: 🥭 looking towards next “Conquest” and “mulls” NATO exit.
Cuba doesn’t move the market as much as Greenland I imagine.
What a fucking shit show.
[+13] u/IncomingAxofKindness: He's more concerned about a few Jpegs Israel has of him.
[+12] u/Long_Exchange_7347: And ofc it’s all pumping again. Just take it all I don’t even care anymore
[+12] u/NPIRACKS: Everybody gangsta until 100 dollar oil hits. Pootz on everything except oil.
[+10] u/TraditionalPhone3992: When the Strait of Hormuz opens, all of the economic problems in the U.S. will magically disappear. Booyah.
[+10] u/spaurake: All fun and games but damn the fruit loop is not right in the head.
[+10] u/kairepaire: Permabol narrative only holds if the strait is permeabol
[+10] u/Haikoe: There is no real reason to be long in this market until 🥭 is gone.
He even confirmed it last night. Looking for his next thing to fuck up. Probably Greenland.
He’s trying to hoard as much commodities for the US before he inevitably crashes the world economy and free trade.
Plan accordingly
[+9] u/borkdpasito: Wait 🥭is more concerned about Israel being able to massacre civilians in Lebanon than opening the strait?
Bols absolutely blown the fuck out
[+9] u/magneticpasta9: Got off night shift and the gas station guy told me he can't sell me beer til 7am. U srs dude thought this was america
[+9] u/Street-Badger: That the platform is called Truth is pretty funny. Would you buy a box of pork chops branded ‘not human meat’?
[+9] u/buybananas: Insane how bullish the markets are now. Looks like a summer bull run is starting
[+9] u/VOO_bull_forever: why can't he behave like a normal human being?
[+9] u/hubblebubble7: Spy going to ignore this oil pump?
[+9] u/donniedarko1010: hi, can either my puts or my calls print? how can they all be deep red
[+9] u/JernauG: Power plant and bridge day was so disappointing this year next year I don’t think I’ll make the effort
[+8] u/Milf-Whisperer: Narrator: there was no circuit breaker to be had for bears.
[+8] u/wilhelm96: spawn more overlords
[+8] u/Efficient_Beyond2201: So all in on Oil and Gas again. Got it.
[+7] u/UnicornMilking: 🤞🏾🐻 🎰 Come on circuit breaker, these gluttonous bol-sacks need punishment.
[+7] u/Basicly-Inevitable: Computer algorithms teamed up with the most corrupt people on Earth.
[+7] u/xroslin: you bought calls on USO right? right?
[+6] u/Broad-Clue-8428: Am I crazy or is oil going to short squeeze soon?
Short float is at 95 percent; you'd figure with the price drop at least some people would close their positions. 95% up from 62% two weeks ago.
I understand that as soon as the strait opens the oil will drop dramatically but we're not seeing that and the reserves/in-transit oil has just about been delivered. Not saying the market is rational, just wondering if the writing is on the wall.
[+16] u/Options_tarded: They really convinced the boomers that by giving the rich huge amounts of tax breaks, funding, grants and bail outs. Some of it would “trickle down” to your average Joe.
Truly the stupidest most gullible generation
[+15] u/DuAbUiSai: Greenland back on the menu boys!
[+14] u/Ok-Worth104: Straight not open, and ain’t gonna open easy.
Only good news there is is all lies.
You can believe the lies, or you can save your Cash for the real crash coming soon.
Cash Gang: check in.
[+14] u/Kickboy21: I HAVE NEVER IN MY LIFE SEEN A BIGGER PIECE OF DOGSHIT STOCK THAN MICROSOFT. FUCK YOU SATYA, SCAM ALTMAN, AND PEDO GATES.
[+14] u/rand_walking_charts: Nostrodamus has spoken 🙇🙇♀️🙇♂️
[+12] u/Bam2458: Israel’s stock index hitting ATH’s as we speak
[+11] u/zer0_chance284: I wish I had the confidence that fat people that think they look good have
[+10] u/MartianSpaceCat: We're bullish until Baron sells. Just FYI.
[+9] u/knoqd_: > $META COMMITS TO SPENDING ADDITIONAL $21 BILLION WITH COREWEAVE $CRWV AS AI COSTS KEEP RISING
[+9] u/shawnshaunseen: cpi friday will be spicy
[+9] u/TropicalOinkment: Oil rippin while SPY on some nonchalant shi
[+8] u/mks_csw: this ceasefire as stable as my relationship atm
prob gonna buy puts
[+8] u/Firm_Passage_6844: Would refreshing this thread revive my portfolio?
[+8] u/Weekly_One8412: Today was the most out of pocket pump I’ve seen…
The strait is still closed, like what?
[+8] u/According-Page8618: who else posts random statements, to see which gets the most downvotes, because that one is the likely it is to come true. always do the opposite whats popular here.
[+8] u/_Klagis: hear me out: 2 weeks ceasefire to get ground troops in place to start the real show with boobs on the ground
[+8] u/TrumpAllOverMe: Why not just make a canal through Dubai for the oil boats to cruise through?
[+7] u/Fire-Lion6: I don't understand why intra-day momentum exists. SPY went up 3% in the morning and literally nothing could bring it down yesterday. Overnight nothing really changed but now FINALLY they're responding to yesterday's news about the failed ceasefire.
[+7] u/GoogleKushforLunch: Gonna make some oatmeal, I no feel too good
[+7] u/Abject-Use498: And that other aircraft carrier, less susceptible to laundry fires
[+7] u/-user222: where’s today thread
[+6] u/Prestigious_Deal_216: i’m not a bear but were definitely head downwards
[+6] u/BrotherDefiant: We all are better off betting on sports bets
[+6] u/UnknownM007: 4dte Calls on something terrible but highly suspicious happening to the Iranian delegation between now and Sunday night