▶ Full Post Text
[+23] u/WSB-mods-are-: People that talked about boots on the ground are going to do fries in the bag
[+18] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Lost 10% of port on puts yesterday. Will be doubling down on 1dte puts at open. Yes, I'm an idiot.
[+14] u/GoZukkYourself: Time for bers to go back to their shift leaders and beg for their jobs back.
[+14] u/tika_dengu: Bers on their way to Pakistan to sabotage ceasefire talks
[+13] u/JustLurkCarryOn: 🐻 absolutely livid that the world didn’t end last night lmaoooo
[+11] u/ResidentPack4103: Looks like we're gonna have a little excursion into 🌈ber anus today fellas
[+10] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Almost back to pre-war levels on a 2 week ceasefire and Iran increased GDP by 25% on the strait tolls. Everybody wins (except the 1500 civilians killed and anybody that uses gasoline).
[+10] u/mrsweettreats: Pakistan enjoying their favorite past time and largest export last night
Phone scamming
[+10] u/PerspectiveLower6462: such a joke of a market, Trump inner circle probably racking up calls yesterday before close and they’re gona cash a tens of millions. Happens every time. Congress insider trading has made me completely lose faith
[+9] u/OkResponsibility2470: Just turn your brain off and full port calls
[+8] u/Emotional-Bag1398: I'm now gay of hormuz
[+8] u/awetfartruinedmylife: took the day off today to enjoy every single ber post on reddit
[+7] u/BirdyPooPoo: If the “war’s over” shouldn’t oil be at $60?
[+7] u/chuastan: Peak fear is over. Any dips will be bought
[+7] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: oh my god all my covered calls are so fuk
[+7] u/Kickboy21: Bers getting ready to get a robinhood notification that their options are down more than 50% since they opened them
[+7] u/hayleybts: I'm switching sides today, hello bols my new frnds
[+7] u/Few-Frosting-4213: Woah, I woke up and a pair of horns bursted through my skull.
[+6] u/callsonreddit: So green.. almost as tho war ended
[+6] u/Massive-Assistant387: Who is up for some reckless revenge trading today?
[+6] u/darth_scion: A ceasefire on my port
[+6] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/WinstonBuddyBro made a bet that SPY would go to 700.0 within **1 day** when it was 655.726 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 1 wins and 6 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+6] u/Thebaxxxx: 30 baggers if it holds for another 2 hours
[+6] u/LasyKuuga: How do we do fellow bols?
Bears am I right
[+6] u/TheScourgeOfHumanity: Bruh I did not know futures settle immediately. My life has changed again
[+6] u/Green_Perception_671: Iranians control the straight, can enrich uranium, want their sanctions lifted, an entire amphibious landing force was moved to the Middle East, nearly the entire inventory of JASSM-ER missiles moved from pacific to Middle East….. and we think the conflict is over? 😂
lol
[+5] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: Someone’s ass is about to get whipsawed in the next 2 hours and I’m here for it.
[+5] u/The_Cornwallis: Where did all the flat by open gang go?
[+5] u/rcantu314: Next January I’m shorting everything and goin long in April
[+5] u/lawerry22: How many times we’ve hit ATH with oil above 90$
[+5] u/Elforas_Tero: So mango meant that ber civilization would die. And bers still bought puts.
[+5] u/Fistfullofoatmeal: Puts for Friday cease fire broken by lunch
[+5] u/Adventurous-Ad-7890: This plan will fall apart. The WH just wanted breathing room and to see how many more drones/missiles Iran has. Donnie and Bibi don’t do one sided deals…I would state it might have to do with getting more assets in place.
Iran also has a power struggle which this may be used by US to see whose in charge. IRGC and the new
Leaders will probably not see eye to eye. Remember the last time US were in talks…
[+5] u/WholesaleBacon: Bear extinction event almost complete
[+5] u/cream_cheese_tits: I'm a 🌈🐻 trapped in a bulls body
[+5] u/HARCYB-throwaway: Running of the bulls
[+41] u/hioman01: Puts >!the fries in the bag!< at open
[+38] u/StraitOfHummus: The S&P being up nearly 3% pre-market is insane
[+24] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: I genuinely hate him so much guys
[+23] u/GittingerFredl: 2:08 till market opens. You could go watch Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (runtime 2:04) now to get inspiration and come back for your first trade of the day.
[+22] u/Street-Badger: Who knew you could unpop a tech bubble by smashing a bunch of oil terminals?
[+19] u/spsteve: Ceasefire day 1:
Israel took multiple waves of IR missile fire
Kuwait reports that more than two dozen drones were launched by Iran since 8am (Kuwaiti time)
UAE was just under IR missile attack
IR reports strikes on Lavan Island and the oil refinery there. Independent reporting (and FIRMS) shows large fires.
Israel launched massive bombardment of Beirut.
\-- Good start to the cease fire
[+19] u/Incorrect_Oymoron: Does this mean the US lost another war?
[+19] u/Meeting_Ok2: Anyone else punching the air for holding 0 positions and missing out....
[+18] u/pleasestoptalkin: Bears reporting every gunshot in the entire Middle East hopping to stop the pump lmao.
[+18] u/ImLemonized: What a retarded market, from now on I am always a bull, even if WW3 starts, I will buy calls, this shit just won’t stop going up
[+17] u/Psychological_Fly109: Bers woke up, looked outside the window and didn't see a wasteland, then cried themselves to sleep
[+17] u/Numerous_Put4717: we are gonna fly around it and take pictures
[+16] u/Technicaltrades404: Markets really just wanted any lie to pump. Theyve done it since the first week of this war and acted like it ended then.
[+16] u/Psychological_Fly109: Fake temporary ceasefire SPY: +2.8%
Ceasefire broken no ships in the strait SPY: +2.8%
Calls
[+16] u/shinigami_2245: Almost forgot dementia Don still doesn’t fully understand how tariffs work
[+15] u/Just_Function_7040: This is the 9th war mango has now stopped and brokered peace all within a span of one year
[+14] u/puffinnbluffin: I sold the bottom again 😃
[+13] u/tonyaustin6: Nobody told me that getting older means you wake up at 5:50 every day no matter what this shit is gay
[+13] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: Even I knew he would taco, and I’m a fucking retard LMAO
[+13] u/moosewithamuffin: My biggest regret was not buying more calls
[+13] u/DistributionMany6335: Oil down 16%. Gas prices up 10%
[+13] u/aftherith: Come down from the attic and show the family your put collection
[+13] u/I_am_Nerman: Rip your face off rally
[+13] u/Diamondhands4dagainz: Mango now tweeting about 50% tariffs for countries selling weapons to Iran lmfao
[+12] u/puffinnbluffin: This cocksucker has shaken me out so many times it’s crazy. I thought this was finally gonna be the big one fml
[+12] u/nthnreallymatters: we should only believe bullish tweets and ignore any bearish tweets
that seems rational
[+12] u/Successful-End7689: We took an already open strait, "reopened" it... and now it’s under Iranian control.
Absolute Masterclass Mr.President!
[+12] u/MrBlueEyedFox: Im a bull. Even im shocked at how much we are pumping over losing this badly.
[+11] u/volckerwasright: BREAKING: IRANIAN REVOLUTIONARY GUARD STUBBED TOE ON DRESSER OVERNIGHT, VOWS "ETERNAL REVENGE AGAINST FORCES OF THE CRUSADER"
[+11] u/MadHat0815: Nothing has changed so far:
"Iranian Navy Tells Ships They Still Need Permission to Transit Hormuz"
[https://www.wsj.com/livecoverage/iran-war-2026-trump-deadline-latest-news/card/iranian-navy-tells-ships-they-still-need-permission-to-transit-hormuz-FMzNRiVrAIPGWczJDXwF](https://www.wsj.com/livecoverage/iran-war-2026-trump-deadline-latest-news/card/iranian-navy-tells-ships-they-still-need-permission-to-transit-hormuz-FMzNRiVrAIPGWczJDXwF)
(going with calls anyway because the market is regarded)
[+11] u/MordorBlues: Largest S&P single day gain of all time was 11.6%
[+11] u/Me-Regarded: It's funny that ber are still in here spinning their doom in a different direction
[+11] u/Soffatjockis: This cease fire might not hold for long.
They still bombing each other and Iran will throw a hissy fit if Israel keeps invading Libanon.
Bibi won't stop. That's for sure.
[+11] u/looool_k_libtard: WH saying this was a success and they achieved their goals is laugh out loud funny
[+11] u/looool_k_libtard: Here’s the plan - we spend billions, completely disrupt global economy, make everything expensive as fuck, and lose a bunch of lives to reopen a strait that was recently open. Also it’ll be tolled now by the country we wanted to invade so they’ll make more money than ever.
[+10] u/spurkulator: I got $488 buying power and need to make back $3k, whats the move
[+10] u/ismebbb: I've been cash gang since end of last week and I'm so sad looking at the shrek pump with my limp dick in my hand
[+10] u/BadBoyBilbo: Al-Jazeera says all that is needed is the following:
• The lifting of all primary and secondary sanctions on Iran.
• Continued Iranian control over the strait of Hormuz.
• US military withdrawal from the Middle East.
• An end to attacks on Iran and its allies.
• The release of frozen Iranian assets.
• A UN security council resolution making any deal binding.
• In the version released in Farsi, Iran also included the phrase “acceptance of enrichment” for its nuclear program. But for reasons that remain unclear, that phrase was missing in English versions shared by Iranian diplomats to journalists.
Easy peasy.
[+10] u/spsteve: "A country supplying Military Weapons to Iran will be immediate tariffed, on any and all goods sold to the United States of America, 50%, effective immediately. There will be no exclusions or exemptions! President DJT"
Yup. So.. Russia and China. Let's see if he follows through or if he just randomly decides that Denmark and Canada are selling weapons to Iran.
[+10] u/Disc0Disc0Disc0: The best thing about the war is that the market forgot about all the poor economic numbers before it. The high oil prices for the past month and coming months should definitely fix it.
[+10] u/StraitOfHummus: There's some permabull out there loading up SPY 800 calls with expiry in 8 months.
[+10] u/PaxDev: I… DECLARE… BANKRUPTCY!
[+10] u/mallison945: I’ve had farts that will last longer than this peace treaty
[+10] u/imtypingoninternet: Why do I feel like he’s soon gonna post that Iran is not respecting the (fake)agreement and he will have to wipe them out instead?
[+10] u/VOO_bull_forever: retail got cooked again in this rigged market
[+10] u/Knarre30: Feelin like John Snow cause I know nothing.
[+10] u/stay_anonymous02: slight pullback, + slingshot to the moon
[+10] u/triwyn: Al Gazeera BREAKING: Kuwait's oil, power sites targeted by Iranian drones despite US-Iran ceasefire.
i’m beginning to think this cease fire has the credibility of the fifa peace prize committee.
[+9] u/CanaryUmbrella: A moment of silence for those WSBers lost from the great purge of 2026. Gone and also forgotten.
[+9] u/TempestDrive: You bers ready to get the “your put has lost more than 75% since you last opened” in 2 hrs?
[+9] u/TempestDrive: lol gotta love bers have been posting updates on lil gun fights in Iran all night. As if that’ll save them
[+9] u/Chubby_American: Spy is ripping, war is over and bears are cooked, nature is healing.
[+9] u/Expensive_Froyo7229: Fuck you bears - a severely wounded permabull
[+9] u/apurimac777: *cash gang! Hur de hur de hur*
*Oil longs! Her de ho hur ho*
*SPY puts! Ho ho hur hur*
Ya'll bitches should've just held your underlying, didnt any of you retards learn from last year?
I know i did, tuition at Retard University for me was 20 grand, how much was it for you?
[+9] u/L2F_mens_glutes: #asian massage parlors about to rack in big revenue if the market stays up mayne
[+9] u/Fresh_Internal_6085: Ber wives all looking for divorce lawyers.
Too bad there’s no money for alimony.
[+9] u/enc-nyc: Iran says it won. US says it won. So great, like in sports, both teams win!
[+9] u/UnivalveX: CNBC: Dow futures soar 1,300 points as traders rush to buy stocks
we're back to rushing now lmao. SPY 700 by Friday (regardless of inflation or GDP numbers)
[+9] u/MissMatriarch: Somehow I feel like this is only the beginning of a situation that’s about to get a whole lot messier for both bulls and bears.
[+9] u/Loose_Stool_12: Israel big mad right now. How long 'til they sabotage the US-Iran ceasefire with false flag attack and oil moons again?
[+9] u/Internal_Field5970: Good morning colleagues
[+9] u/BFox1982: Just as I didn't predict. 🤌
[+9] u/SmarterThanWSBMods: I love the green but my gut doesn’t trust 🥭 enough to think he wont screw up this ceasefire.
[+9] u/Athien: Why is the market reacting like 🥭 personally cured cancer?
[+9] u/Foreign_Addition2844: https://x.com/MarioNawfal/status/2041821490505482463?s=20
https://gulfbusiness.com/en/2026/gcc/uae-downs-missiles-kuwait-infrastructure-hit-despite-ceasefire/
Iran oil facilities got hit. UAE and Kuwait also got hit. Buy your puts at open.
[+9] u/FuzzyStable2974: In hindsight, before he made the crazy extinction threats, Mango clearly knew a deal had been offered and the US would accept last night. Do we really believe this all happened 15 minutes before the deadline like some Hollywood movie? Kicking myself for sitting it out
[+9] u/UnivalveX: we have entered a golden era where any remotely and ambiguously postive Iran headline will pump markets +1% bare minimum
[+8] u/VOO_bull_forever: # i sold at the bottom at 638 and went long puts. last year the exact thing. Why? Why always me? I am a disgrace and a deadbeat. I can't even look my better half into her eyes.... I am so ashamed of myself
[+8] u/e10n: “Surely there will be a lot of profit taking” - Ber.
[+8] u/ThouOne: Ban every ber spreading fake news
Ber on WSB typing fake shi thinking he can tank the market LOL
[+8] u/Careful_Response4694: News is really going to be flooded with kumbayah messages for 3 days at least huh? Even Al Jazeera live feed is spammed with optimism.
[+8] u/Technicaltrades404: Iranian leadership speak like theyre role playing as paladins in world of warcraft.
[+8] u/clockwork5ive: A whole civilization of bears was destroyed forever.
[+8] u/claytondpark: Y'all think it's bols vs bers, ber vs bols, meanwhile it's really bols/bers vs 🥭
[+8] u/SoloOutdoor: Just saw a reaction youtuber, watching a reaction youtuber watch a TikTok to react. This shit is cooked.
[+8] u/puts_every_day: The wildest thing is that Iranian drones are still not stopping, because Iran needs a few days until they can notify all the individual fractions to stop shooting 😅
But it's already priced in!
[+8] u/StraitOfHummus: Just a reminder, I'm still not open
[+8] u/looool_k_libtard: We have bulls right where we want them. Prepare to unleash short ladder attacks!
[+8] u/StraitOfHummus: My bathtub filled with oil suddenly not looking so good
[+8] u/KahlVados: TRUMP SETS 50% TARIFF ON COUNTRIES SUPPLYING ARMS TO IRAN
Now they are toast!
[+8] u/KlBAS: Stairs down elevator up
[+8] u/spellbadgrammargood: Iran: still have weapons and same politicians
Trump: Mission Accomplished!
[+8] u/Retaining-Wall: I'd like to apologise in advance to anyone whose portfolios I have negatively impacted by switching into calls.
^(edit: shit almost forgot, Praise Allah)
[+8] u/poopy_wizard132: I'm not falling for this pump.
In one week we will be lower.
[+8] u/FinalbossShaggy: Breaking: video of 🥭 in the situation room just [leaked](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elg1VSaFSRM)
[+8] u/Summerdaysengineer: Wow I sold covered calls
[+8] u/abaddon86: The lotto ticket calls i bought yesterday will actually profit. Yay.
[+7] u/haihaihaihaihaihai1: Put holders didnt have a good sleep last night lol
[+7] u/StraitOfHummus: If this ceasefire is broken by the US continuing more bombing as they've done in the part under the guise of negotiations, I swear I will not be surprised in the slightest
[+7] u/TempestDrive: I genuinely do hope this rug pulls AFTER I sell my calls at open. I hate missing out on more money
[+7] u/claytondpark: 95% of today's gains have happened in premkt, gg if u buy today without a big dip ☠️
[+7] u/ckami_91: Trump: US AND IRAN CEASEFIRE!!! VICTORY!!!
THIS DOES NOT INCLUDE ISRAEL
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
🤡
[+7] u/L2F_mens_glutes: #I CAN AFFORD PROSTATE MASSAGES AGAIN LETS GOOOOOOO
FIST ON CHEST NO FEAR
[+7] u/User0198888: It’s still going 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
[+7] u/PlentyArmy2411: Rest in piece my granny, iran just hit her with a bazooka
[+7] u/financiallythriving: Imagine thinking the TACO wasn’t gonna come because this time was different (it wasn’t)
[+7] u/Ok_Abbreviations8440: I only bought 1 SPY lotto but I’m jacked to the TITS
[+7] u/iBoughtAtTheBottom: Goddamn it. WHY did I listen to the doomed nobody that said we’d dump from close yesterday. I would be rich off the calls I closed.
[+7] u/mallison945: Honestly, a depression would work out great for me. All the baddies will have to lower their standards and hoeflation will get back to its 2% level. Win win
[+7] u/humunculus43: Just a couple of hours until the fat pigs feast at the trough
[+7] u/Nero23x: @realDonaldTrump
The United States will work closely with Iran, which we have determined has gone through what will be a very productive Regime Change! There will be no enrichment of Uranium, and the United States will, working with Iran, dig up and remove all of the deeply buried (B-2 Bombers) Nuclear “Dust.” It is now, and has been, under very exacting Satellite Surveillance (Space Force!). Nothing has been touched from the date of attack. We are, and will be, talking Tariff and Sanctions relief with Iran. Many of the 15 points have already been been agreed to. Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DONALD J. TRUMP
🐂 🐂 🚀
[+7] u/iBoughtAtTheBottom: I genuinely hate yall. I said exactly this would happen and got downvoted to shit but gae ass Ber..Again…. Bombs = quick resolution = ceasefire = stock go up.
[+7] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: “The US will work closely with Iran, which we have determined is going through what will be a very productive regime change. There will be no enrichment of uraniam & we will be working to dig up all the deeply buried b52 bombers. Its now & has been under exacting satellite surveillance (Space Force!). We are & will be talking tarriffs & sanctions relief with Iran. Many of the 15 points have already been agreed to”
New Trump tweet
[+7] u/GideonWainright: Peace at last. Glory to God. Praise be to Allah.
[+7] u/MissMatriarch: Bols will believe any lie that’s being spoonfed to them, as long as it makes them a profit.
Rip critical thinking capabilities.
[+7] u/Numerous_Put4717: This just in, Don Jr. and Eric are planning to build a beautiful Trump International Hotel and Golf Club right on water's edge of Hormuz
[+7] u/Low_Truck_7049: LOL imagine being a ber right now loool
😂👉🐻🤡
[+7] u/QuantrixQuintrix: Wouldn't it just be terrible to give it all back through the end of the week.
*Wouldn't it just be so so terrible.*
[+7] u/aftherith: I guess you could print out the put certificates for the memories.
[+7] u/redpillsbluepills: Can he stop tweeting and just let us enjoy a green day
[+7] u/Psychological_Fly109: Still too bearish in here. Calls all week I think
[+7] u/Apart-Leg-8077: That's the spirit. Never admit defeat!
[+7] u/Ok_Abbreviations8440: I just need it to last until 930 🧘
[+6] u/Same-Tie8083: iran has repeatedly made clear that lebanon must be repected in the ceasefire but isreal continues attacks as we speak, if us agrees to this 10 point pan it would be the greatest iranian victory in history basically the 2018 nuclear deal combined with no sanctions and control of hormuz i call bs and give this a week.
[+6] u/spsteve: For anyone that thinks this is done.. the cargo and fighter ferries from America across the Atlantic are still going full speed ahead... this ain't done. If you want to try and trade the swing go ahead, but be VERY careful.
[+6] u/rayquan36: Bears are Europeans trying to manifest the downfall of the American economy.
[+6] u/Ramseyct1: Bessent about to make a killing with this oil shorts. Oil bulls be fuming right now
[+6] u/Strong_Cheesecake394: open the f’ing casino you crazy bastards before my calls burn in hell
[+6] u/InitiativeGlum2507: Imagine the DOW is up 1200 points and you're still down 40%
[+6] u/zangor: ok cmon now... Im starting to feel a little bad for the bears at this point.
[+6] u/poopy_wizard132: Imagine thinking 🥭 chickening out would lower the market.
This is me.
[+6] u/Soffatjockis: Praise the mango!
Influencers can go to dubai to shit on arabs again!
[+6] u/Technicaltrades404: Many of the 15 points have been agreed to? What about the 10 point plan 🥭? This guy loves to lie for his market narrative
[+6] u/Elonmuskishuman: Scared money don’t make no money
[+6] u/Illustrious_Job1951: Oh god he's already talking about more tariffs
[+6] u/clockwork5ive: Bears have been wrong for 3 solid years.
Why would anyone even listen to those inbred retards is beyond me.
[+6] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: > IRAN'S IRGC CLAIMS TO HAVE ATTACKED ENERGY FACILITIES AND OIL LINES CONNECTED TO THE U.S. AND ISRAEL LAST NIGHT, ACCORDING TO STATE MEDIA.
Ceasefire going well
[+6] u/financiallythriving: The concept of a peace framework has been discussed
SPY 700 today
[+6] u/neutralpoliticsbot: Bears have nothing left but spamming about “10 point plan” listen nobody gives a shit about some fake news spam. You lost
[+6] u/spumpadiznik: MM gonna switch directions at open to shake out the poors? Trying to get my mind right bc am one of the poors.
[+6] u/Nagalavonpelt: New tariff threats by the clown 🤡
Take a day off mate 🤦♂️
[+6] u/Any_Bluebird1765: Good thing that pilot was rescued he would have been held captive a whole week
[+6] u/mayorolivia: When is the next power plant and bridge day?
[+6] u/Elonmuskishuman: But Burry said it was the end of the world
[+6] u/Me-Regarded: Mods: can we ban all ber comments for the week?
[+6] u/fenton7: I saved the world. [https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/1se1blx/how\_to\_guarantee\_world\_peace\_buy\_puts\_on\_the\_sp/](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/1se1blx/how_to_guarantee_world_peace_buy_puts_on_the_sp/)
[+6] u/_Fibbles_: Feels like a lot of you are about to fomo into the top
[+6] u/trsx5: I imagine we go flat today.
[+5] u/chargedcapacitor: Be careful who you hitch your wagon to, they might take you for a ride
[+5] u/volckerwasright: I hope ber didnt throw his Wendys tshirt away. They have to pay for that out of own check 🤭
[+5] u/Beelzebussin: I regret to inform you SPY will be going down today so I get fucked on my strangle, plan accordingly 👍
[+5] u/31andnotdone: did they open the 🌈 yet?
[+5] u/smellysurfwax: I wanna hear from the posters that cashed out last week.
[+5] u/karlelzz011: Tesla has no right to go so high
[+5] u/FunInteraction9796: not a bear but surely this fades after open
[+5] u/Numerous_Put4717: What person with a college education would trust these jerk-offs?
[+5] u/Weak_Emu3659: # EXPLOSION OR GUNFIRE TYPE SOUND HEARD SOMEWHERE IN GENERAL MIDDLE EASTERN AREA
[+5] u/claytondpark: Just 2 more hrs until I can dump my remaining calls. Hold the line bols...
[+5] u/Teriyaki-Cat: Scalpers,
Honestly speaking.
Puts into open on profit takers then close them into calls 15 minutes after open when the market rebounds back up into dip buying.
Who’s on board?
[+5] u/Actual_Difference617: If Israel agreed to the deal, I think they just wanted the breathing room.
[+5] u/StrengthIsWeakness: I know some bears really thought it will go to 600.
[+5] u/MrNewking: Aren't we like 2% away from all time highs?
[+5] u/leftygrooviness: It's a great day to have lots of $$ in VTI
[+5] u/Psychological_Fly109: Oil still dumping
Hormuz expert bers in shambles
[+5] u/Unhappy_Hedgehog_808: Trump tweeting about there will be no enrichment of uranium so at least he put that out there.
[+5] u/orsomeshitidk: God damn what a shit show
[+5] u/UnitedCup1814: Some how some way there are a bunch of retards in here who lost a bunch of money today
[+5] u/IrfanZahoor_950: portfolio looking like a learning experience again
[+5] u/jerm2z: This whole thing is one psyop after another
[+5] u/SvV_Ying: I don’t understand the mechanism of a bear. Are they always negative? Always pessimistic?
Horrible way of living.
[+5] u/bmault: Bad day for USO calls
[+5] u/Diamondhands4dagainz: DAX is up 5% and still ripping higher. This is insane lol. SPY is also just going up nonstop
[+5] u/Erieztoys: Finally figured it out. Next time 🥭threats to obliterate entire civilization, buy SPY CALLs, 2 weeks out, 5% off of ATH,🥭 will Taco, then retire.
[+5] u/ckami_91: War is bullish
*Bombing a country and declaring a ceasefire is more bullish*
[+5] u/Diamondhands4dagainz: Dumbass bers really think this is gunna fade. Look at euro markets for reference. DAX is up 5% and still pumping. This shit is going higher
[+5] u/anjuna-freak: Don’t forget to actually take profits friends
[+5] u/Loose_Stool_12: Where do you get those big Iranian General cigars?
[+5] u/Me-Regarded: Someone poke MSFT and tell it there's a rally happening today
[+5] u/xTeeD: 50% tariffs on china?
[+5] u/Kashabowiekid: The markets pumping too much gotta throw some tariffs out there
[+5] u/Blyrone__Blashinton: Just a reminder that Iran made the US tap to strikes, which is embarrassing. Not even legit technical submission.
[+5] u/Harp-Note: Bears, how did you enjoy being wealthy for about two weeks? Any good memories you'd like to share? 😃
[+5] u/vermilli21: I can probably use this money from calls to upgrade to first class 🤣🤣🤣
[+5] u/orsomeshitidk: We live in the country off a dirt road. My pickup’s back-up camera is constantly caked in dust and mud. My wife’s little Mercedes’ backup camera is hidden and only pops out like it’s Groundhog Day when you put in reverse.
It’s never dirty
The damn Germans are beating us
[+5] u/MissMatriarch: Petition to rename bulls to goldfishes, because they can’t seem to remember anything that happened more than 4 minutes ago.
[+5] u/jay4281: I’m a ber and this shit might actually test 700 very soon lol
[+36] u/eyerollingsex: **Trump reportedly says there may be joint US-Iran venture on Hormuz tolls**
This seems like a CBS sitcom
[+30] u/winston511: 🥭 gonna marry off Barron to an Iranian princess to keep Hormuz in the family
[+27] u/extrabigbrain: I feel like 🥭 and US are right now acting like third place winner celebrating meme.
[+21] u/Brawmethius: Israel has received from US assurance they will get (among other things):
- Iran no more nuclear program
- Iran no more ballistics program
- End of all regional hostilities to Israel (but they will not ceasefire in lebanon)
Iran is saying they are entering the negotiation on the framework of their 10 point plan with a few notable points:
- continued nuclear program
- control of hormuz (officially)
- end of all regional hostilities by US and Israel (yes including Lebanon)
Iran says they won and generally negotiation will be on their 10 point plan.
US says they won and generally negotiation will be on their 15 point plan.
Israel has agreed to (kinda sorta) hold off but is otherwise against a ceasefire.
This realistically leaves only a few paths on these conflicting points:
- Iran is actually "defeated" and will capitulate, no nukes, no missiles, and probably let Israel have their lebanon conquests.
- US throws Israel under the bus and walks out with Iran in a stronger position than before.
- Back to war
Some of these core demands between parties are non negotiable on either end, so unless someone involved is actually at the brink Im not too hopeful this ends just yet.
Good luck with your market scratchers today.
[+20] u/VyPR78: Ruh roh
> Saudi Arabia's vital east-west oil pipeline carrying crude from the Gulf to the Red Sea for export has been attacked - FT
[+18] u/ShittyUsernane1222: wsb went from perma ber circlejerk to perma bol circlejerk practically overnight.
the magic of TACO Tuesdays, preparing both exit and entrance liquidity in one day, one deranged 🥭 tweet at a time.
[+18] u/Options_tarded: Imagine how rich I could be if this market actually followed macroeconomic trends. And not the twitter of a PDF protecting con man
[+17] u/ProudPeak3570: Spent billions of dollars, lost lives only for Iran to keep their uranium and give them control of the strait to charge a fee.
ART OF THE DEAL
[+16] u/yyn1999: OPEN THE FUCKING MARKET YOU CRAZY BASTARDS !
[+16] u/idanfl8: Lol this is the worst deal I have ever seen
[+16] u/GeologistOutrageous6: Bols have been drinking lead if they think US is officially agreeing to Irans 10 point plan Friday. Friday ends red.
[+15] u/suddenuser: Congrats to all the regards that are telling their boss and Melissa in HR to fuck off today
[+15] u/RansomeRandom: Everyone is about to click as fast as they can on the market sell button like they're clicking through a mandatory HR training module and the slippage is going to be massive😂
[+15] u/PutVivid6052: Is everyone in the US a fat retard? Or just the majority?
[+14] u/Bonkers119: The market hasn’t ripped like this since the last time there was a fake 2 week ceasefire
[+14] u/ClarkFable: This ends when the first ship trying to get through without paying gets hit immediately
[+14] u/Aware_Beezzz: Middle Eastern countries are still bombing each other, and Israel just finished deploying boots on the ground in Lebanon. US soldiers are still in Iran. This is going to take a while.
I feel bad for the people there right now.
[+13] u/Perfectly_Splendid89: anyone with 2 digit IQ knows that this wasn't a victory for the US.
[+13] u/Muted-South4737: I've been ber-curious these past three weeks, but I think I might be fomosexual.
[+13] u/the_tailor: It is obviously so fake and gay that the market is back up to the same level it was before the invasion of Iran, even though the war is not over, things are worse, and the cascading effects of the war on prices will be felt for years to come. But what can we do about it? Bers truly are fuk until the one big day they’re not.
[+12] u/winston511: “Senior Iranian official: Iran could open Hormuz on Thursday or Friday, ahead of a meeting with the US in Pakistan, if a ceasefire framework is reached. Reopening would be limited and in coordination with the Iranian military, still required for all vessels” what the fuck did everyone agree to yesterday if it wasn’t a ceasefire framework
[+12] u/90sRiceWagon: I perfectly timed panic selling the bottom lol
[+12] u/spectra444: Can they stop talking please and thank you. All I ask for is one day of silence and uninterrupted pumping
[+12] u/Ok-Maintenance5422: 🥭 bowed down to some guy with an rpg on the back of a Toyota truck
[+12] u/the_mind_goblin1: remember when bears were buying puts under 650 LMAO
[+11] u/Worried_Quarter469: IRGC says finger ‘on the trigger’ in case US, Israel break promises
Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps says it “listened to the orders of” Supreme Leader Mojtaba Khamenei, but their finger remains “on the trigger”.
“The enemy has always been deceitful, and we have no trust in his promises, and we will respond to every aggression with a higher level,” the elite force said, referring to the US and Israel.
Calls
[+11] u/-user222: bers downvoting like that’s gonna change anything
[+11] u/sytena10: 'fragile truce' is as confidence inspiring as being 'pre revenue' with a constrained cash runway
[+11] u/Strong_Coffee_9999: >Oil: Not moving
>Missiles and bombs: Still flying and falling
>Tariffs: 50% threatened on China
Bullish! Big green dildos! Mania!
[+11] u/DuaLipa247: If we dip back to red ILL SUCK EVERYONE OFF
[+11] u/AndThisGuyPeedOnIt: Schroedinger's Strait is both opened and closed
[+11] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Imagine red by close lmao
[+11] u/PhotoSpheres: Soooo the market rebounds heavily because nothing was accomplished except extending this another 2 weeks and every boat has to play Iran 2 million?? Make it make sense
[+11] u/DLD1123: I’m literally shaking thinking about my 680 lotto ticket being worth .8 instead of the .08 I paid for it. Port only down 92% this year now instead of 92.3% miracles happen
[+11] u/yeedub: Sell at open and get puts ?
[+11] u/EndOfMuricanEmpire: The real lesson here is that Murica is weak and too reliant on an outdated military model. That’s the takeaway around the world.
[+11] u/twostroke1: 50,000 gay bears used to live here. Now it’s a straight town.
[+10] u/EnginrA: Please stop pumping my puts are already wrecked
[+10] u/PopularCut4124: You gotta pay the toll to post here. I’m charging 2 bucks a comment. Thank you
[+10] u/SuperNewk: Remember Iran said don't trust any news and fade all pumps or buy the dumps
[+10] u/TheOriginalBushToad: Curious how much of this is short covering....
[+10] u/Dry-Syrup-882: Please buy puts at open bears, surely nothing could go wrong for you
[+10] u/Iknowyougotsole: r/oil in full meltdown mode. Never seen so many r/politics morons turn into geopolitical expert oil trading experts over night lol
[+10] u/dMestra: which regard bear held through taco Tuesday 🙋🏻♀️
[+10] u/ReferenceFunny7142: The more Puts you buy the higher this goes. Have fun
[+10] u/imusuallydrunkatnine: Still thinking about the guy who spent 200k on the 6400 put for May 15. Down 66%, hope he got out.
[+10] u/livingiice: One day- the civilization is going to be wiped
Next day- we are in utopia
[+10] u/WrexyWrex: \* ISRAEL MUST OBSERVE CEASEFIRE IN LEBANON - ANY CONTINUED ATTACKS WOULD COMPLICATE SITUATION AND HAVE CONSEQUENCES, SAYS IRANIAN AMBASSADOR TO THE UN IN GENEVA
[+9] u/Muted-South4737: Boy, I can't wait to buy at these levels
[+9] u/Medical-Tune676: This $2M toll is an absolute kick in the nuts. That's like a 1% tax on the world for everything. We're all just funding Iran forever now. What the actual fuck.
[+9] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Ya know maybe we should stop saying they were on their knees BEGGING us
[+9] u/ercanbas: It’d be hilarious if Iran was like “Trump you have to fire Hegseth for this deal”
[+9] u/nullzeroerror: This ceasefire is not going to hold lets be real Trump is not agreeing to irans proposal 😂
[+9] u/kairepaire: If the Strait is open, why isn't the Strait open?
[+9] u/Oldschoolhype2: Chat, I am cooked. GG bol. 🤢
[+9] u/damnthatbooty: Soo yall ready for that third carrier to get there in two weeks and restart this whole shit show
[+9] u/Mr60SPX: Trump yesterday: “We received a **10** point proposal from Iran, and believe it is a workable basis on which to negotiate. Almost all of the various points of past contention have been agreed to between the United States and Iran…”
Trump today: “ We are, and will be, talking Tariff and Sanctions relief with Iran. Many of the **15** points have already been been agreed to.
Me thinks that either the two sides are so far apart that nothing comes from the Islamabad talks Friday, or the US makes concessions that leaves Iran in a stronger position than when hostilities started, and it becomes a bigger problem for a different president 10-20 years down the line.
[+9] u/whitehypeman: We're in a worse position with literally everything compared to before the war started. Dumbest war ever
[+9] u/McClintockC: Roses are red
Ber r fuk
Ber r fuk, ber r fuk
[+8] u/fire_alarmist: Believe it or not, everyone rushes to the exits and its a -2% day. Just like mid november Nvidia earnings LOL
[+8] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: Black-Scholes to add new variable ṁ is for Mango, 0 or 1 if he taco'ed
[+8] u/Training_Baker5454: My brain is saying going all puts for next week but my heart says don’t do it.
[+8] u/No-Put2311: fomo buy at 9:30? too late cash gang reporting in :/
[+8] u/vteclover302: Salute to everyone that bought short dated SPY calls, holy shit lmao
[+8] u/AMCorBUST2021: Breaking news US to invade Cuba to liberate the cigars
[+8] u/ThermalChaser: Really don't want to see more people die but these bols are insufferable.
[+8] u/brock2063: ⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⠹⣶⣿⠷⢃⡆⠻⢈⣿⣿
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢉⣴⣿⣷⢱⢠⡘⣿⣿
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣴⣿⠿⣫⣾⢈⣸⣷⠹⣿
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀⣤⣶⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⣶⣬⡩⣵⣿⣿⣿⡘⢹⣿⢠⣄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⢻⣿⣿⣞⡄⢿⣜⣿
⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣿⣿⣋⠄⠙⠉⠛
⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣷⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠄⠄⠄⠄⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⣿⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄
⡀⠄⠄⢠⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠄⠘⠇⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣶⣾⣿⣷⡹⣿⣿⣿⣎⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠿⣛⣵⣿⣷⣶⣤⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣿⡿⠿⣛⣢⢩⣭⣭⣭⣭⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣿⣿⣿⠿⣫⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠄⠄⠄⠄
⠿⢟⣭⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣮⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠃⠄⠄⠄⠄
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⣁⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀
[+8] u/DrummerCompetitive20: I cant imagine anyone actually buying at these levels lol
[+8] u/Lord_Kio420: This may be the greatest open of 2026
[+8] u/Complex-Algae-4214: Jonathan Karl, ABC News Chief Washington Correspondent:
This morning, I asked President Trump if he’s okay with the Iranians charging a toll for all ships that go through the Strait of Hormuz, he told me there may be a Joint US-Iran venture to charge tolls:
“We’re thinking of doing it as a joint venture. It’s a way of securing it — also securing it from lots of other people.”
“It’s a beautiful thing”
[+8] u/swenau01: CNBC - "Trump threatens tariffs of 50% on countries ‘supplying military weapons to Iran’" lolol he can't stop
[+8] u/zin3d: Bears coping so hard this shit is going back to ATH within a week
[+8] u/JackORoses: Pete had the most plastic army men in the neighborhood when he was a kid. He put that on his resume and it's why he now has this job.
[+8] u/rand_walking_charts: How come market reacts only to 🥭lies with ZERO connection to reality? WTF???
[+8] u/SBEPTY: Y'all are the exit liquidy before the ground invasion
[+8] u/dljmonkeyboiz: None of this makes sense .. closing for gains at open
[+8] u/turtleadvocate: so I feel like i havent heard anyone call him the Imatollya yet and im kinda disappointed
[+8] u/Airhostnyc: 🥭 made it seem like he was going to nuke a civilization and then announce they made a peace deal the next day. We being played like a fiddle
[+8] u/borkdpasito: Saudi East-West Pipeline has been attacked
Financial Times
[+8] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: US of A: The truth is whatever we say it is. You crazy basterds!
[+8] u/Muted-South4737: Do our leaders not actually know what is going on?
[+8] u/kodaksdad2020: The hardest part about being a bear is telling your parents that you’re gay
[+8] u/renedotmac: Oof. Just saw the call to put ratio on SPY. Way more puts have been bought the past week than calls.
[+8] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Spent like a hundred billion
Pissed everyone off
Put more hardline son in charge
Sanctions relief and tolling thru the strait and Iran continues owning uranium and missiles
What a magnificent use of resources
[+8] u/Paincoast89: Holding onto my worthless puts bc Israel or Iran will break the ceasefire
[+8] u/Ok-Thought-9960: Its real bad when honesty is seen as weakness. This pressy makes us look so fucking bad holy shit
[+7] u/BrownDog42069: so are we gonna do this again in 2 weeks? I don’t see how this changes long term especially considering both sides say they won and the 10 point plan seems like a non negotiable for the us and Iran has no reason to back down after the essentially won the stare down
[+7] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: Freak the fk out and buy everything
[+7] u/thealex7r: Everybody as so happy with weak dollar.
That's not very patriotic of you.
[+7] u/Jacobpapi: 14:51 / April 8
With the start of the Israeli regime's attack on Lebanon, the possibility of canceling Friday's summit has become serious. The IRGC Navy has begun preventing the passage of ships
[+7] u/TheOriginalBushToad: Bers just got erased from existence or this is the biggest bol trap in the history of mankind...
[+7] u/Typical-Layer-1253: ALL TIME HIGHS SOON BABY WOOOOO
[+7] u/TheMatinow: I really found it baffling that people believe any word he says
[+7] u/Bam2458: So who here is sitting in cash and/or puts? Don’t be shy, raise your hand.
[+7] u/Teckel22: Great day for the straights of Hormuz
Bad day for the Gays of Hormuz
[+7] u/Cardiologist_Actual: I had 20 hood calls for Friday I sold before close yesterday. Am I regarded.
[+7] u/Top-Sir-1215: Always assume they will target retail. So we will run to 750, maybe even 800, THEN we will go to 570.
[+7] u/JonnyP0T-SmokR: Does this drop @ open?
[+7] u/Sweaty-Date5958: Spy puts at open 1-2 DTE
[+7] u/tnecniv2021: Literally is breaking news that attacks are continuing. wtf
[+7] u/Standard-Top-5942: The biggest takeaway from the last 6 weeks is that Iran has realized / demonstrated that they have an insane amount of economic power over the west by closing the strait even without a navy or airforce (but just cheap mines and drones).
Honestly, the only way I can think about fixing this is by promoting renewable energy in the US, which is absolutely hilarious because Trump is so against it. Otherwise they'll always have that power over the West. It's not like we're going to get them to like us so much that they never use the strait as leverage.
[+7] u/Ok_Upstairs3431: Operation epic futures
[+7] u/winston511: Watching this Hegseth/Caine speech. General Caine thanked all the gulf allies by name and never mentioned Israel. They’re a fucking detriment to us not an ally
[+7] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Gonna be a flat ass day. Big move already happened. If you play 0dte's, I wouldnt today.
[+7] u/WillTheGreat: Imagine if we close red for the lols
[+7] u/nullzeroerror: This is a reporter who doesn’t even know what regime change is. Yeah, you replaced a 90 year old dictator with his much younger son. That’s regime change baby
[+7] u/Late-Combination5060: What has war ever been about?
It's not two people who dislike each other... No that's a fight, you might throw fist. No a war is nothing more than an illusion to make money for those funding and selling
[+7] u/WarenBoffet: [https://www.marinetraffic.com/en/ais/home/centerx:56.7/centery:26.5/zoom:8](https://www.marinetraffic.com/en/ais/home/centerx:56.7/centery:26.5/zoom:8)
Not a single tanker is crossing the straight,
Only 3 bulk carrier already allowed to pass
[+7] u/TheBlueBlaze: * April 2025: Markets jump from canceling most of the planned tariffs on the entire world
* April 2026: Markets jump from canceling a major attack on Iran, including ground invasion
Anyone want to hazard a guess what he'll do and subsequently 🌮 out of in April 2027 and 2028? Martial law? Invading Canada? No longer recognizing California as a state?
[+7] u/Suspicious_Ad6172: Good morning all you fine regarded folks
[+7] u/wildcat1055: "let us bomb your country for a while and then we'll give you a lot of concessions and more money"
sounds bullish as hell
[+7] u/MakeOSUGreatAgain63: Looks like it’s getting ready to dump before open 😂
[+7] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Open the fuckin markets you crazy bastards!
[+7] u/MooseyGoosey69: Puts at open, market makers ain't paying out shit
[+7] u/RansomeRandom: Im going to laugh so fucking hard when this dumps at open lol
[+7] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: So yay to ceasefire:
Irans plan includes cessation of hostilities in Lebanon. Bibi has said Lebanon is not included. This will strain this ceasefire.
[+7] u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister: Anyone know what the US actually agreed to? Because the conditions I've seen include a withdrawal of the US from the Middle East and giving Iran the right to enact tolls on any ship going through the strait, which seem insane for the US to accept
[+7] u/FunCommand6604: it's going to keep pumping so the 0dte people lose more money, then TOMORROW it'll dump
[+7] u/Clittle93: Massive rug pull at open for sure
[+7] u/turtleadvocate: I wonder how that ballroom is coming along
[+7] u/Dajoechi: Napkin math. USA just gave Iran $60 extra billion a year (about a 15% GDP bump) with this toll. But the hell with that we pump today
[+7] u/Jayyson-_-: So many bears got nuked last night and I was one of em
[+7] u/drytexterfinalboss: Why dont regards just buy the fucking dip? Trying to Makie money shorting the market is extremely fucking difficult as a retail investor, people just don't understand this simple concept
[+7] u/sleepygarner: There is a concept of a ceasefire, which is more than enough
[+7] u/Sweaty-Survey-9804: That’s fucking repulsive
[+6] u/Bumst3r: So seriously, what is the medium-term bull case? Iran’s 10 point plan is a non-starter, nobody will insure the ships to pass through the Ayatoll-booth, and tons of gulf oil and LNG infrastructure are destroyed with years to repair.
[+6] u/Johnny_Menace: Don’t come to the market today bears, go back to sleep.
[+6] u/Happy-Philosophy9211: Mega green day today
[+6] u/Marshmallowmind2: Pin the suicide hot line
[+6] u/Fernyfern7: Hegseth doing a victory lap is hilarious
[+6] u/ConsiderationKey1658: everyone needs a 2 week vacation. Excursion in Cuba?
[+6] u/CATLLM: There’s gonna be so much FOMO today. The shorts are gonna rush to cover and pump SPY 701.96
[+6] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: The most violent green days occur in bear markets. Today for the 🐂 and then by end of next week these gains will be wiped out.
[+6] u/Waiting4Reccession: The fact that the talks are on friday just shows how fake this shit is.
[+6] u/Sweaty-Survey-9804: Oil calls and spy puts?
[+6] u/Zerkron: All this happened because yesterday some regard bought short dated puts with their life savings. Thank you for your sacrifice!
[+6] u/RansomeRandom: Bulls are living in their own imaginary world, welcome back to reality boys
[+6] u/Bpallstar95: Im pretty sure the only one participating in the ceasefire is the US.
And im still not sure the strait is “open”. I swear wallstreet threw away their Bloomberg terminals and just trade off truth posts.
[+6] u/Jarlaxle_rigged_it: blowing up oil pipelines is bullish
[+6] u/Worried_Quarter469: I think this toll thing is making 🥭 tariff dream come true and might flip him from Israel to Iran side
He might try to toll gulf of America next
[+6] u/NewDawn101: Had a zoom meeting with some coders from balkans and shit looked like hostage video. These dudes are poor AF, lmao like get some new furniture
[+6] u/corp_carrot: War. What is it good for? Absolutely blowing up my port whether it happens or not.
[+6] u/ripcord51: Joe Kernan is a dope
[+6] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: you know that the bvll market is back when msft pumps beyond 3%
[+6] u/turtleadvocate: at this point even the 5000 preapproved scam calls i get every day are printing
[+6] u/Remarkable_Owl_7039: Bitcoin 76k at open 80+k by EOD
[+6] u/Ancient_Let7878: Do I sell calls at open that is the question
[+6] u/Doclub29: European stocks are higher than pre war right now lmao
[+6] u/sufficiently7777: But but “- the cope from baers in here is legendary.
[+6] u/Soft_Ladder_7894: who is doing full calls at open?
[+6] u/nullzeroerror: Damn I guess anybody can be a reporter now. You don’t have to know anything. You just have to suck the admins dick. Fascinating.
[+6] u/fire_alarmist: Anyways Im gunna go play classic wow till SPY hits 650, cya guys in a few hours.
[+6] u/DrummerCompetitive20: Whos trimming longs and closing any calls an short puts?
[+6] u/ksyoung17: Straight open, ceasefire in place, gas prices in US will still go up.
[+6] u/spectra444: Simulated returns on the hood might be more addicting than crack
[+6] u/cresstheory2016: Are puts the play? Everything's up craaazy right now
[+6] u/No-Improvement3164: The War was over weeks ago. The market just wasn’t low enough to buy tho. 😂
[+6] u/lessoninprogress: Could you imagine news came out again and Iran was like yo we have no idea what you’re talking about
[+6] u/Dbestinvest: I can’t wait to see all the gains of the 1dte calls!!! Post them! I want to see them so bad
[+6] u/borkdpasito: ‘Hundreds’ killed, wounded in latest wave of Israeli strikes on Lebanon
- Al Jazeera
Bibi baiting Iran
[+6] u/Dbestinvest: I’m telling you.. my local gas station better lower my gas price just as fast as they bumped it up the second oil surged
[+6] u/ThinkingOfTheOldDays: They're calling it the most obvious sell the news open in history folks.
✋😔🤚
[+6] u/No-Improvement3164: The greatest wealth creator in the entire world is to create fear with lies buy calls and instantly make the fear go away with more lies.
[+6] u/Austin_Destroyer: Watch, a tanker is going to blow up and y'all are going to be like "Nah, they didn't call a ceasefire, that said the sea is on fire. Priced in."
And you know what? We'll pump. Sterks onleh gerp.
[+6] u/ProudPeak3570: Iran needs to start calling it a tariff instead of a fee
[+6] u/KarlLachsfeld: Nah I mean could have been anyone that has drones in the area.
[+5] u/fateoftheg0dz: can the citrini analyst tell us if any vessels have actually passed the straits yet
[+5] u/Nick_Gilberts_Bowtie: How does market handle ceased-ceasefires?
[+5] u/WhiteCollllarCrime69: GOOD MORNING, BOYS
MAY YOUR GAINS TODAY BE GREATER THAN YOUR LOSSES
#LFG BOLS!!!! 🚀📈💰💰💰
[+5] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: imagine once the market opens they pump it to 690 LOL
[+5] u/E39_CBX: I owe like $6000 in taxes and obviously cannot afford it. What do I do?
[+5] u/ParsnipOpposite6455: Cathie woods but from the back
[+5] u/MaybeYesMayb: Israel is still bombing Lebanon 🤨 might be a sell the news
[+5] u/SouthNice7324: I bought puts as was expecting a civilisation to fall. I didn’t check the news yet. Am I a millionaire in 1.5 hours?
[+5] u/Star_Lord924: Premiums for everything is gonna be crazy with calls at open
[+5] u/Significant_Speed854: Which one do you really think was more likely to happen this morning when you dial into CNBC:
"Let's look how futures are sharply higher after Trump agrees to ceasefire"
OR
"Let's take a look at futures dropping sharply because of a nuke"
[+5] u/AussieJeffProbst: Well I guess Im the idiot for not buying calls near close yesterday. I planned to but the premiums were sky high so I decided not to. SHAME!
[+5] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Iran still dropping LEGO memes: [https://x.com/RyanRozbiani/status/2041740964343992739](https://x.com/RyanRozbiani/status/2041740964343992739)
This one on TACO Tuesday. Congrats call holders!
[+5] u/Ok-Thought-9960: Take some notes other countries if you want something just piss us off and we will give it too u
[+5] u/MasterElite1: >BREAKING: Trump says any country supplying weapons to Iran will have tariffs of 50% imposed immediately
Your dollar will buy nothing
[+5] u/Muted-South4737: Ber, bol, I just want to profit. Given the pattern thus far, what is the play here?
[+5] u/cinecoinstudios: Imagine not having the ability to trade after-hours 🤡
[+5] u/brute-forced: You have to be some kind of naïve tard to believe that this thing is over
[+5] u/Wrath_FMA: Damn it, they aren't going to let me buy my puts are they
[+5] u/zeren1ty: Big 💰dragging it right back down for open
Can’t have retail profiting on all that greenery nono
[+5] u/OverallBlock9028: BREAKING:
A Country supplying Military Weapons to Iran will be immediately tariffed, on any and all goods sold to the United States of America, 50%, effective immediately. There will be no exclusions or exemptions! President DJT
Why does he care if the war ended?
[+5] u/Ok-Thought-9960: Total cost so far to american taxpayers for the "excursion" so far is $485.17 per person.
[+5] u/WarenBoffet: South Park's next season will be geat
[+5] u/crywhenugetolder: Any Ber buying poots will be tariffed 50% effective immediately!
Thank you for your attention to this matter
[+5] u/LeagueofData: Buying more puts cause I'm gay and regarded.
[+5] u/hiohiohiza: Bears gotta hibernate until next April
[+5] u/Basic-Kale3169: Some bulls won.
Some bulls lost.
Some bears won.
Some bears lost.
All DCA won.
[+5] u/Eddyrancid: I swear to god that asshole woke up and immediately started jumping up and down on the fucking market again.
[+5] u/duma0610: Spy up 10% in one day and these idiotic bers will still find any negative news to cope.
[+5] u/ShittyUsernane1222: what is more regarded?
1. full porting long-horizon puts betting that SPY will break its long term historical trend (it wont)
2. Full Porting calls in the middle of an energy, credit crisis while deindustrialization, dedollarization and stagflation take turns fucking over the economy
[+5] u/turtleadvocate: when she says she know a spot and its the strait of hormuz
[+5] u/Apple2o: Open the casino you crazy bastards!!!
[+5] u/kodaksdad2020: Market needed the pull back to reset the long term RSIs after the MASSIVEEE run up straight off last aprils lows. After this quick flush we have re set in preparation for SPYs run to 750. Recessions don’t come for 8-12 months after the oil shock actually happens. They’re going to run this up SIGNIFICANTLY before it’s time to bear again
[+5] u/DateUser66: regards over at r/oil yelling buy the dip lmao
[+5] u/Thick-Monk-969: I sold my calls yesterday…
[+5] u/No-Improvement3164: Just like that private credit, inflation, stagflation, SAAS Apocalypse all disappeared
[+5] u/ihopethisworksfornow: #THE MARKETS WILL BE RANGEBOUND FOR ETERNITY AND YOU PEASANTS SHOULD BE THANKFUL IT MOVES AT ALL
[+5] u/8675309l: Reports of the Saudi east/west oil pipeline has been attacked. That’s a big deal if true.
[+5] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: People over at r/oil literally rooting for nuclear bombs to get dropped ☠
[+5] u/neverseengreen: Im just going to buy 0dte right at open and hope for the best, there is no way i can be the last to hold the bag today
[+5] u/makhnosfork: I want a compilation of 🥭trying to saying straight of Hormuz.
[+5] u/ThrowAway405736294: I’m so fucking stupid for not holding all my positions. I would be back up to almost even now if I did. Instead I’ll be lucky to be up $1000 on a Google long position.
[+5] u/NewDawn101: That’s 12 wars he’s ended so far now, I smell another FIFA peace prize in the near future
[+5] u/abused-throwawayy: Straight aint even open but vix falls 20% lmfao
[+5] u/Just_Learned_This: A lot of cash gang sold their wad at these levels lol
[+5] u/Get_dat_money: This shits just gunna soar, all the short sellers will be covering in the morning, trillions on the line.
I think we see 685 before 11:00am
[+5] u/No-Improvement3164: The mines in the Strait were evidently fake news too. Even Iran was in on the pump and dump. 😂😂
[+5] u/drcornwallis23: Humiliating defeat but at least we didn’t start ww3
[+5] u/odetolucrecia: Now i get why people grift in this sphere...........its way easier to "pretend" you invest in these shenanigan, and just let people glaze you for being some kind of oracle or something, meanwhile, your out here playing with pretend money selling all the 49ers high end luxury shovels....golden shovels and ish.
[+5] u/wildcat1055: Hmm
* Calls at open, or
* Puts 15 minutes after open
why not both and get fucked both ways?
[+5] u/Basic-Kale3169: Ozempic to the moon now that the national draft is no longer on the table.
[+5] u/Muted-South4737: Persian rugs really do pull easier
[+5] u/Dry-Syrup-882: Lmao bears really gonna buy puts at open. They’re committing seppuku
[+5] u/LaserBeamer17: Selling my calls at open for 0DTE puts
[+5] u/Austin_Destroyer: I wish Scatman John was still alive so we could hear what he has to say about all this.
[+5] u/No-Intention-8907: Lesson learned: the bigger the threat, the bigger the taco. Expect the same again in 2 weeks.
[+5] u/cryptohorn: iMa duMb bOL tHaT wILl bUy sOmEoNeS baG oF cALLs aT oPeN
I aLsO RiDe tHe sHoaRt bUSs
[+5] u/Worried_Quarter469: Gen. Dan Caine warned that the Pentagon is prepared to resume its military campaign against Iran if the cease-fire collapses. “A cease-fire is a pause,” said Caine, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs.
[+5] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Lots of angry downvoting folks who bought puts yesterday. Lol, cry harder.
[+5] u/jeffynihao: 2mil per boat fee. Iran about to become rich af.
[+5] u/spaurake: Shit, he woke up, here we go!
[+5] u/ElonTaxiDriver: Trading SPY options before close yesterday was like trading earnings in hindsight
[+5] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: Daily reminder that Robert fucking Baratheon smashed Rhaegar with a fucking hammer, what a giga chad
[+5] u/borkdpasito: Kuwait and UAE under attack by drones
Not a single non-Iranian ship has even made a move toward exiting the strait after 13 hours
Believe it or not, USO calls
[+5] u/alone-in-the-chat: How are u doin bers?
[+5] u/Atlantis_Island: Aren't the markets up like 30% since last April's lows?
[+5] u/vanceraa: Mfs were saying oil 200 a week ago
[+5] u/wenxuan2: Here comes the next chapter of the simulation: tariffs again
[+5] u/__nameless____: 🌮 gonna reverse-🌮 this weekend
[+5] u/spaurake: Ceasefire lasted longer than expected tbh. Back to crazy
[+5] u/alphawafflejack: I’ll never understand bers. It seems like 10x the effort and risk for less gains.
Just follow like 10-15 stocks and buy a ton of 2-3 year leaps any time they go on sale. You’ll be up 50% on your purchase within a few months every time
[+5] u/RealPrinceZuko: You would think we defeated the death star looking at pre market
[+5] u/Isometric_exercises: Everyone saying buy puts at open = stocks go up syke syke
[+5] u/TheDudeAbidesFarOut: Two weeks?
Yep, Barron's got theta plays.
[+5] u/Muted-South4737: It's all some of us (me) know!
[+5] u/Cristian7x: Only thing i’m bearish on is oil TODAY. Tomorrow, SPY puts.
[+5] u/EdgeLordMcGravy: I'm buying USO calls for 24 April at this rate. Waiting for some more dip but I am thinking Israel doesn't want peace.
[+5] u/Rolling_in_the_Dip: I’m right here in Dubai and a missile from Iran just blew my asss open
[+5] u/AussieJeffProbst: What price did you get in at? Are you not up after this 14% drop?
[+5] u/Junior_Gazelle9524: Saudi arabia east west pipeline was just attacked so we have to see although I think the ceasefire will hold they be a big drop first
[+5] u/BigBasedGrifter69: 0dtes calls in 500 of the best companies in the US
[+20] u/TofuMeltatSunspot: Chat is moving so fast no one will see this IM GAY
[+20] u/AP123123123: So basically Trump caved in to Iran's demands... what a negotiator!
[+17] u/oldsguy65: We won the war by ending in a worse position.
USA! USA! USA!
[+16] u/JellyfishFestival: I struggle to see how wasting a bunch of US munitions, billions in tax dollars, jacking oil prices up into the 90s, creating a whole new pit of global uncertainty, and giving Iran a brand new toll booth to take a pound of flesh from global consumers now and potentially hold the world economy hostage in the future...
...leads to stocks being exactly where they were before this started.
Then again I saw the tariff rebound last summer when a materially worse situation led to much higher stock prices. Mostly on vibes.
[+15] u/---Right--Tackle---: U.S. & Iran: alright cool very chill, let’s wrap this mess up and get back to busi….
#Israel: LEEEEEEROY JEEEEEEEENKINS
[+15] u/syedhuda: buls need to be struck down like a saudi petroleum refinery
[+15] u/nirvahnah: BOYS I GOT MY FIRST TEN BAGGER THIS MORNING LETS GOOOOOO
[+14] u/jlw993: Kinda crazy the market has pumped to pre-war levels... Like there's absolutely no ongoing issues
[+14] u/RedditorSays: As a bear, my family is about to be sent back to the Stone Age
[+14] u/Valkorion335786: Flat close would be heinous lmfao
[+13] u/_RAPTORMAN_: Jerome Powell would’ve never let this Iran thing get this far. The data would not allow It
[+12] u/bongsmcweed: Hey my VIX calls aren’t worthless!
[+12] u/ArkAngelEV: I think the 🥭 era really highlights that global associations always operated as a low level, Sopranos type racketeering.
A bunch of Goombas running the high level shit
[+12] u/ginkokouki: believe it or not puts
[+12] u/Sad-Airman: Bulls so confident in the market they are taking profits in first 15 minutes lmao
[+12] u/mikeplaystennis: Ask Irs for Payment plan
[+11] u/J_da_CPA: Iran has the cards lmao
[+11] u/Fhyzikz: Petition to ban the ticker BULL from the board. Upvote if you agree, downvote if you agree
[+11] u/Czyzzle: Bols remember: Nobody ever went broke taking profit
[+11] u/CoolConfusion3606: Lamao Bears no one cares that Iran won the war and the geopolitical consequences will be the end of the petrol dollar and the unwinding of the yen carry trade. That's not what the stock market is based on. Stock market is based on how good rich people feel, and rich people feel the best they have ever felt. ATH incoming.
[+11] u/HG_Tannhaus_: Markets really going to go to pre-war levels, with a peace plan that has Iran controlling the straight, US paying reparations, US leaving middle east, and Iran having no sanctions and ability to refine uranium. All while ignoring the damage of higher oil prices.
Alrighty then.
[+11] u/imaginarytrades: Why is the IDF bombing LeBron?? I hope the Lakers are okay!
[+11] u/aaapod: they called him sleepy joe because we could sleep at night
[+11] u/AllianceOrTheHorde: This was (and i guess still is, as it hasn't formally ended) the dumbest war of the 21st century, maybe even the last 500 years.
[+11] u/DefiantDelta: my hood completely fucked. probably best for my mental health to not be able to see
[+11] u/traderbusto: TACO: “*I will accept nothing but unconditional surrender*”
Iran: “*We have 10 conditions*”
TACO: “*Cease the fire, we win*”
[+11] u/fewthingsarerelated: Up $11k this month 👌
Down $35k all time 🤗
[+11] u/optimaltimemism: See, the old me would have bought calls like a dumbass, but the new me, well, there isn't a new me yet. Hi, My name is dumbass. Nice to meet you.
[+11] u/glutathionegod: Alright bols, those of you that sold, you won. Now it’s time for da bers after this ceasefire was violated
[+11] u/JoeEldenRing: Announcement after market close today that the ceasefire is off and were resuming attacks
[+11] u/lobsterspider: I am a time traveler from later today, here’s the news:
BREAKING: S&P turns red on the day, erasing 7 trillion dollars worth of gains because Trump posted something retarded
[+10] u/SpeedilyStable: I sense a great sell off incoming
[+10] u/Beagle001: The opening candles are going to be insane.
[+10] u/DroidArbiter: A ceasefire between the three most untrustworthy players on the planet - what could possibly go wrong?
[+10] u/I-IV-I64-V-I: Lmao Saudi pipeline hit and spy is still going up.
I may be a bear, but it's honestly kind of beautiful how irrational and psychotic the market it, I wish I could marry her
[+10] u/milocreates: Take profit today boys. Dont fucking get greedy. Fuck. I’m speaking to myself.
[+10] u/baconography: *“No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot”* \-Mark Twain
[+10] u/Newlife_40: Who’s got the balls for puts at open…
[+10] u/Newlife_40: I bought two 40$ calls yesterday before pump.
Today they are worth 750 each lol
[+10] u/ArkAngelEV: I was promised annihilation of a civilization. So which was it??
[+10] u/DallasBoy95: https://preview.redd.it/840wpra3wytg1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e368adb329e67fff7c33307739b1858073a2b098
BEARS BTFO
[+10] u/grimandnordic1: When her Hormussy is wide open for 2 weeks 🥵🥵
[+10] u/ilikemgs: In hindsight not yolo’ing everything I had in calls yesterday was dumb because if I’m right I’m rich and if I’m wrong, money would be useless after a nuke was dropped anyways.
[+10] u/aniote: Happy to announce i'm a millionaire
(until tomorrow at least)
[+10] u/kanyedidnothingwr0ng: yo is Robinhood not updating your options for anyone else?
[+10] u/BioRam: Rhood broken for anyone else??
[+10] u/soscribbly: Robinhood app glitchy for anyone else?
[+10] u/Inevitable_Gainz: #**🚨MY ROBINHOOD ISN’T DOWN. FULL PORTING PUTS TO CELEBRATE🚨🚨**
[+10] u/Ssjalexgd4: Is anyone else having problems with robinhood rn?
[+10] u/Coogiez: micro soft is the biggest piece of shit stock
[+10] u/ten7four: Lol, best market day of the year, I come to this thread and 8 of the 10 newest comments are people bitching and whining. You degenerates will never be satisfied.
[+10] u/Spiritual_Taste_1253: Check the news lol. This shit is falling apart by the hour
[+10] u/Fhyzikz: The increase in female-presenting avatars I'm seeing in WSB is a recession indicator. Puts
[+10] u/AmeriMan2: Robinhood slaughtering retail.
This is grade a comedy
[+9] u/Ok-Cut-6064: If my options aren’t at least close to the estimate I’m gonna crash tf out
[+9] u/PotentialBicycle7: See ya'll again in two weeks for "end of the world: part 2"!
[+9] u/weewoowewoooo: Gonna sell everything at open and just chill
[+9] u/bb483: Puts on bears at open
[+9] u/thisguyhasaname: Imagine still using Robinhood lmao
[+9] u/Lapidated_Llama: MSFT about to go red lmao
[+9] u/Very_Regarded: This is going back to 660
[+9] u/Zoji25: I'm hearing possible tariffs on the ceasefire
[+9] u/2AMTrader: so there is a concept of a deal, not an actual one.
[+9] u/zurijer: MSFT is literally a piece of shit
[+9] u/Aggressive_Yard_3649: I bought a call on the QQQ yesterday for $200 just sold it this morning for $1671 that’s more than two weeks of my wage slave job pays me, it’s funny how little we are paid for actually doing hard tangible labor but you can make money out of thin air laying in bed holding an options contract, it ruins your perception of money, like now I’m supposed to go to work and be paid $100 for a days work? Lmaoooooo
[+9] u/Competitive_Ride: Does ceasefire means something else in Hebrew?
[+9] u/ArtInfinite5179: HOOD puts is the move
[+9] u/humanoideric: Lol, US & Iran: Ceasefire established, peace!
Israel, in the corner: BREAKING: Israel carrying out ‘unprecedented’ assault on Lebanon
[+9] u/ItsDaManBearBull: Its really impressive how the mango can manipulate the market this well. I'm not even mad that my cheeks got absolutely obliterated, im genuinely impressed
[+8] u/letsgettesty: Man I expecting 200% profit from my oil short but the IV crushed me and only got 100%
[+8] u/Micheal_Hancho: "Worries emerge in private credit"
LMAO SHUT THE FUCK UP!
[+8] u/Due-Information-6277: Cmon bull take some profits don’t be greedy lol
[+8] u/arbitraryBlue: Buying lotto puts at open
[+8] u/Capt_Chickenpox: So anyone wanna take a bet that Iran has more than 440kg of enriched uranium just somewhere locked in a shed?
[+8] u/LankyLibrary7662: I dont trust this pump
[+8] u/saw-it: One tweet could end all of this
[+8] u/KYEEZY98: Oil under $100 , they're basically just giving it away.
[+8] u/Happy_Fly_7691: Looks like Iran is playing Mango. Won't stop until Israel does.
[+8] u/Personal-Boss-7111: Question is who would buy SPY after it has pumped this much and it's only day 1 of ceasefire
[+8] u/svpa3991: After these 2 weeks are up, another 2 weeks will be extended. Mango just buying time for the 60 days to run out so he can say Congress wanted him to do this. All gains for Iran and none for the US in that proposal lol
[+8] u/Mindless_Clock7823: Dip at open due to profit taking?
[+8] u/botistic: Open the casino before this shit dumps
[+8] u/uncsucks: Who has 47 chromosomes and doubled down on puts yesterday and will double down again today?
This guy.
[+8] u/Zoji25: Gummy taken. Let's open the market.
[+8] u/Bill_Clintons_Desk5: Close the casino I’m happy with today’s gains
[+8] u/Iamhappilyconfused: Yo why is robinhood broken??
[+8] u/GT227: I think I’m making money it’s hard to tell though with a frozen app
[+8] u/Thin_Response_2689: RH always fucks up when shit is going good LMAO
[+8] u/TurbodToilet: It might actually be time for me to switch off Robinhood. This shit is fucking terrible
[+8] u/Local_Serve_3969: Instead of removing the buy button, HOOD decided to remove the entire app. Vlad doubled down lmao
[+8] u/TimeOnTargetKilo: Anyone else buy spy puts
[+8] u/MichaelJamesBurry: OIL TO THE MOON SAUDI GOT HIT
[+8] u/Domefieldadvantage: This victory lap is so premature man you guys never learn hope the smart ones use this for exit liquidity
[+8] u/valatarr: rip to the guy last night who bought puts on everything
[+8] u/Due-Information-6277: Anyone at the strait. Do you see any ships passing lol
[+8] u/Av-1422: Why aren’t we talking more about nuclear energy
[+8] u/dreamwagon: Bulls all looking at each other like "you buy" "no you buy" 😂
[+8] u/Swiftnice: PLTR negative makes me smile so much hahaha
[+8] u/PvsNP_ZA: Insane market reaction to a flimsy, at best, ceasefire.
[+8] u/Capt_Chickenpox: Spy going down, ruining bulls position and they are not even able to sell since they are still on robinhood. Lol
[+8] u/Dongkey_kong: I want to see this go from 675 to 645. God this chat would be amazing lol
[+8] u/fomoandyoloandnogrow: The strait is open, but they have to pay tolls in yuan? Lmao idk how the us markets see that as a win
[+7] u/MichaelJamesBurry: Saudi oil pipeline just got hit
[+7] u/AntiOriginalUsername: Netanyahu foaming at the mouth for more blood, bro is not gonna make it two weeks without bombing something.
[+7] u/Big-Quote4483: dont forget to short msft folks shits gonn adisappoint today like it has for the past 6 motnhs
[+7] u/IndependentUsual7444: Sell your calls as soon as we open
[+7] u/AllCapNoBrake: https://preview.redd.it/866bgx8ytytg1.jpeg?width=120&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6cb3a841d0d2cb2b5a0ec8ef3c09a1784e26e65
[+7] u/RyuujiStar: Gonna exit my positions with barely any profit but I just don't trust any of this.
[+7] u/YamRepresentative663: Can 🥭 pump MU back to ATH today? Please grant him Nobel peace prize or somehing
[+7] u/X211499Reddit: Saudis government super mad on X
[+7] u/Sufficient-Tie-8735: Bears hibernating in a gay bar
[+7] u/Optimal-Midnight4295: Netanyahu is gonna bend the bols over
[+7] u/Coogiez: imma need a big sell off
[+7] u/Zoji25: You have 8 minutes to change your life forever.
[+7] u/Czyzzle: If you're always putting out fires, maybe it's because you're an arsonist
[+7] u/Asleep_Log_8985: Talks don't start until Friday, hard to imagine that Trump tweets something to crash this before then.
Strong guess: run up into the weekend, news breaks over the weekend that talks are not going well, gap down into Monday.
Of course, Isreal or the US could break the ceasefire before then (like the US going after the uranium cache) but it would likely happen AH.
I'll rest well knowing that regardless of what happens, insiders will make a ton of money because they'll get the news before the rest of us.
[+7] u/Iamonab0at: I have 5K I need to turn into 100k this morning. What’s the move?
[+7] u/Icommandyou: All action already happened overnight sad
[+7] u/Big-Quote4483: lol im still down 10% on my shares and s&p 500 only 3% from ath. thanks MSFT
[+7] u/Commercial_Seat_3704: MSFT going red would be the least surprising thing ever
[+7] u/Skylake1987: Sold TSLA calls as soon as market opened for $16 per contract, worth $11 like 2 mins later lol
[+7] u/crazyfool319: So the next two weeks the market is gonna move on "peace talks going well" headlines
[+7] u/MrNo_Balls: This is an extiction level event for all bears... including myself.
[+7] u/MBBOrBust-: This is such an INSANE overreaction lmao
[+7] u/WocketWaccoon: $HOOD users cant sell LMFAO. Time to get a real broker
[+7] u/Amazing_Plankton744: There was an error loading the shart
[+7] u/Active_Contest717: robinhood crashing on me
[+7] u/surfyturkey: Hey guys don’t use gpt for taxes I’m getting audited 💀
[+7] u/saintmitchy: I was able to dump my calls the minute Robinhood collapsed. Hell yeah.
[+7] u/Slightlybadpicks: NFLX pos red today 🤡🤡
[+7] u/hoopaholik91: Guys, the move has already happened. You're retail, you don't get a chance to win.
[+7] u/Sober_Alcoholic_: Doubled down on puts immediately at open and my 10k loss already gone 🤣🤣
[+7] u/Icommandyou: Next up war with Denmark to take over Greenland and we end it by giving them Alaska
[+7] u/ILoveWesternCenter: Exit liquidity justice lol
[+7] u/Inner-Cobbler-2432: In case you hoped to make some gains on calls, sorry, action happened when you weren't invited. Just like in highschool. You are allowed to watch it slowly decay though.
[+7] u/xReMaKe: Msft just doesn’t fucking make sense. How you already lose 50% of your gains. Why are you so shit. For fucks same get to 440 so I can get out of this shit.
[+7] u/Dejectly: I made the right call selling my calls the moment market opened but I'm really bummed I never saw the % gain. Fidelity UI BLOWS
[+7] u/Samjabr: Is everyone ready for SPY 685 EOD?
[+7] u/potato111a: Sold my SOY calls, and joined the 🌈gang. Where do i buy the 🍑 plug?
[+7] u/jnas_19: lol every other tech stock much higher than MicroSOFT
[+7] u/DuncanOhio: I hope ya'll sold those calls.
[+7] u/MBBOrBust-: If you ever feel regarded, just remember there are still people rallying behind this goon thinking he cares about them.
[+7] u/Impressive-Name5129: Iran’s IRGC says it downed a drone over Fars province
In a statement shared by Iran’s semi-official Tasnim news agency, the IRGC says it intercepted and destroyed a Hermes 900 drone over Lar, a city in the southwestern province of Fars.
The IRGC added that the presence of any US or Israeli “enemy aircraft” in Iranian airspace, “even without conducting military operations”, would be considered a violation of the ceasefire agreement.
“And a decisive response will be given,” it said.
Aljazera news
[+7] u/Chrg88: Bers: RugPulL cAnDlE
::their portfolio is down 99%::
[+7] u/Helpful-Weekend-2224: If you didn't see this coming, you should find a new hobby
[+7] u/X_Y_Z807: Watch this slide slowly all day, I blame 🌈🐻
[+7] u/Normal-Phase-1252: imagine missing out and buying the top
[+7] u/2AMTrader: Feels like very sandy wet sand
[+7] u/peterpeer9: "Tonight a civilization will end" - FIFA peace prize
"DIE STOCKS, DIE" - autobanned from reddit
[+7] u/e30jawn: Made 355% on uso puts. Pretty cool.
[+7] u/jonroobs: i miss having adults in the whitehouse even if the head adult was unable to form a coherent sentence. On the other hand, I can now make prop bets on polymarket as to how many times Hegseth says "lethality"
[+7] u/Frankfurter_i81U812: Holiday in Cambodia?
[+7] u/Emere59: If you don't take profit from here you might actually be a regard
[+7] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: The market is done taking him seriously lol. He’s an empty taco shell of his former self.
[+6] u/RollofDuctTape: Iran threatening to blow up ships again 😭
[+6] u/Noble_Bastard: Bers are so salty right now. LMAO. Just take the L. No amount of "it's fake and ghey, here's why" is going to change that loss.
Hint, it's always been fake and ghey.
[+6] u/JaraxxusPS4: Boomers shitting in their diapers today saying mission accomplished
[+6] u/hermeskino715: Don't sell your calls open. Don't be a pussy
[+6] u/J_da_CPA: Bro is going to 🌮 then demand the Nobel peace prize
Art of the deal
[+6] u/GioSlayr: They specifically said DO NOT LET ISRAEL ATTACK LEBANON and these dudes couldn't even wait 24 hours 😭
[+6] u/OftenOlives: In today's world, "ceasefire" means the stock market goes up. That's it's only meaning lol.
Example:
"How's the port, Bill?"
"MSFT needs a ceasefire."
[+6] u/Fun-Age-5749: yeah congrats a simple ceasefire can boost the market to ath, dumbass market will fall soon :DD
[+6] u/ManBearPig_1983: Feeling like selling some positions at open. This keg hasn’t blown yet and the underlying aint too pretty as it was.
[+6] u/Okami_The_Sun: As per studying this sub it’s too boll in here puts it is
[+6] u/HomeMadeToast: I like to think a ber was so salty about his port he bombed the Saudi pipeline in a false flag attack
[+6] u/Remarkable_Owl: Call me a bear, call me regarded, but I’m selling everything today. This ceasefire is not durable.
[+6] u/saintmitchy: Dumping my calls as soon as the bell rings. Not expecting this to last
[+6] u/Remarkable-Garage126: Open the damn casino
[+6] u/nocashflow_: my impatience costs me so much money
[+6] u/HomeMadeToast: What would Earth even be without thousands of years of conflict in the Middle East 🔫
[+6] u/Immediate_Type4095: This isn’t a just a massive win for Iran, but also for China. Despite me losing most of my gambling fund due to another TACO, i will declare victory. My next move is being long only in the CSI300. I’m China gang from now on 🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳🇨🇳
[+6] u/LouieM13: You can tell the bears are passive aggressive right now
[+6] u/SeaEnvironmental756: Bear’s civilization annihilated.
[+6] u/Extension-Ad917: Is there a polymarket for when the ceasefire will break?
[+6] u/k3t4mine: Iran doing a reverse TACO - dropping market negative news 1 minute before the US opens. Genius.
[+6] u/cow_grass: Why tf is Netflix diving
[+6] u/rixxxand: Hood rugging everyone's calls before they can sell. Lol. Use a real app
[+6] u/IamyourfantasyX: Bro ronbinhood is fucking retail again.
[+6] u/Ok-End-3213: RH has too many of you regards finally buying after sitting in cash
[+6] u/YardComprehensive215: Pump fading only after 10 mins ? 😵💫
[+6] u/AllTimeTy: Idk why I bought INTC54C yesterday but they sure as fuck printed
[+6] u/FatFluffyFish: Don't tell me... it's fking theta day again
[+6] u/Euphoric_Present8838: Are you practical or retarded? Practical action would have been puts at open. Retarded action would have been calls at open. Let’s see which side makes $ in a retarded market.
[+6] u/DuAbUiSai: Feels dumpy eventhough green.
[+6] u/ericcc1029: Israel will launch some missiles Iran will say ceasefire breached and we will end red today
[+6] u/Waveytony: Day 3 no nicotine, forgot my tic tacs at home, puts on dopamine
[+6] u/OrdinaryMix4013: RED END OF DAY BUY POOTS NOW
[+6] u/Apprehensive_Seat_61: Now go to 620 to angry all bulls 😂
[+6] u/Wild_Boy_: I don't believe this pump will last long, loking skeptical asf.
[+6] u/TimingEzaBitch: RH doing the god's work and won't let us see the dashboard. otherwise, bears will enter a new status on the extinction chart on wikipedia
[+6] u/Big-Quote4483: i told yall about MSFT. shits dead money
[+6] u/Jon472: Easiest short opportunity ever
[+6] u/csr8765: MSFT bag holders 🤣🤣🤣
[+6] u/darkspherei: now that insiders have positioned themselves we dump
[+6] u/Zanedewayne: I was green for a sec, I'm not refreshing the page so I can ride that high for a bit longer
[+6] u/gcko: Nice little $25 scalp. Might just go get Wendys and watch bear cry for the rest of the day. I’m getting all the sauces.
[+6] u/GreatTraderOnizuka: Just remember 90% of gaps fill 😏
[+6] u/carrollart: Wild . All buying was after hours / pre market
[+6] u/lococommotion: Honestly surprised SPY hasn’t fallen off a cliff. Maybe MMs have a surprise pump again instead
[+6] u/---Right--Tackle---: #friendship ended with volatility, volatility crush is new best friend 🤝
[+6] u/Today-: True but the damage to your portfolio is permanent
[+6] u/OrdinaryMix4013: thanks for the cheap poots
[+6] u/FabulousLanguage6216: Nobel prize to Pakistan!!
[+6] u/RogerBalderer: Bought corn at 66k.
Thank you for your attention to this matter
[+6] u/Sea_Exam3932: https://preview.redd.it/271jclnrwytg1.jpeg?width=1206&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb949bac8eb474412a2c946c949cf9dd4fb1d6aa
Caught the bottom for once in my life?
[+6] u/EyeSea7923: Imagine paying your taxes before the 15th when you can Yolo it here
Edit: I forgot bears get refunds.
[+6] u/Master-Stranger8908: Is this a dump to pump ?
[+6] u/Morocier: jesus christ, msft gonna close red. what the fuck wrong with this stock?
[+6] u/DefiantDelta: they blocked retail out entirely. wowza. rigged as fuck
[+6] u/DufflebagJoe: Robinhood doesn’t want you taking profits 🤣🤣
[+6] u/ThatKarmaWhore: RH renting Iranian server capacity confirmed
[+6] u/LurkerPatrol: Buys calls at open
QQQ: Massive red candles the size of the empire state building with no sign of stopping the falling knife
[+6] u/Burtonwurton: Honestly would be funny af if we bleed back to flat.
[+6] u/LaMeraVergaSinPatas: Oh gee fading at open? SHOCKED
[+6] u/ShitpostSulthan: they bought calls at EOD yesterday, pumped this shit on BS news.. now they are selling them calls at top.. the rest of the day it will just go sideways..
[+6] u/Powerful_Mission_655: Thats a big red dildo in a minute
[+6] u/myironlung6: lmao both sides already violated the ceasefire
[+6] u/PracticalMeeting5267: Breaking: Parliamentary National Security Committee spokesman Ebrahim Rezaei: In response to the aggression against Lebanon, shipping traffic in the Strait of Hormuz must be halted immediately.
[+6] u/jnas_19: where the fomo at bruh
[+6] u/Necessary-Lychee-486: BACO. Bulls Always Chicken Out.
[+6] u/whyshw: Something should be done about the out of control price of haircuts!
[+6] u/Jdom666: when they rerelease the xbox 360 and make 720p tvs the standard
[+6] u/yeahyoubored: Israel isn't ceasfirin' nothing
this doesn't last
no way US/Israel break up anytime soon, either, US will fall in line
and I'm convinced Laura Loomer is Bibi's burner account, so if you ever need the real Israeli perspective, start there
[+6] u/MiddleAgedSponger: Close the put while doing a headstand.
[+5] u/itsamemyusername: Cease fire lasted all of 1 hour.
[+5] u/more_aero: This morning, I will be following the guidance of my favorite Iranian Parliament speaker. Good news? Puts.
[+5] u/Evander85: All of the move happened overnight. You will remain poor
[+5] u/Venice_LA: If your portfolio holds 2 or more of the following, you should stick to an ETF; MSTR PLTR TSLA HIMS
[+5] u/Inevitable_Gainz: All in on puts at open.
[+5] u/DuAbUiSai: Despite being up 3% premarket Msoft still looking like poop
[+5] u/ryu311: unloaded my bags. went from -30k to -4k. so long oil?
[+5] u/GalacticPlutoBear: Hold on to your butts. I mean puts
[+5] u/jcrankin22: I love moment like this because it makes all the people who've been chanting "sell off" and "cash is king" look like fucking fools
[+5] u/dreamer_Neet: This ceasefire aint gonna hold long, so take ur money and get out now
[+5] u/juicyjay27: Do something.. poke poke… 👉🏻📉
[+5] u/East-Description-243: Maybe I’m shell shocked… feels to good to be true.
[+5] u/Short_SNAP: Next up, Cuba April 2027.
[+5] u/suddenly-scrooge: ok everyone shut the fuck up the rest of the day pls
[+5] u/Roxorek: yearly kind of gains for some people in 1 overnight session
regarded market
[+5] u/BurstingTitan88: Enjoy this Donnie pump until our 🌮 in chief sets hit eyes on Cuba
[+5] u/Iamhappilyconfused: Bro if I had calls to sell right now I'd be fucking raging, robinhood has gone full retarded
[+5] u/tortu995: The amount of people who just went short must be INSANE lol, there is no way people held -30% risk for a +3% move those shorts are getting whipped by end of week no sane person who held is selling.
[+5] u/HippoDicks: I haven’t done anything but invest my Roth, 401k, and HSA in low expense ratio funds for the last 4 years yet I still come here everyday
[+5] u/FinishWarm1746: Idiots piling in after the big move already happened 🤣
It’s me I’m the idiot 🥺
[+5] u/longGERN: You think back in the day people travelling hundreds of miles on horse to relay what the tarded politicians were going on about every day were as annoyed as we are
[+5] u/Happy-n-Healthy: OPEN THE FUCKING STRAIGHT, YOU CRAZY BASTARDS!
[+5] u/Accurate-Flow8078: Anyone playing APLD earnings?
[+5] u/Canadianinvestor1997: You may wonder why it’s holding steady. The simple answer is that they’re waiting for the rich to buy puts at open
[+5] u/ihatenames-: Deadliest catch, without the crabs We're almost out of gas, call the A—rabs
[+5] u/SighRamp: Puts at open or wait a few if prices pump at open isn't the worst idea...
[+5] u/niceguy897: # Drone attacks damage 3 power and water desalination plants in Kuwait
The defense ministry said 28 drones were fired at the oil-rich country on Wednesday morning, in what it described as a “large-scale series of Iranian attacks.”
Col. Saud Al-Atwan, the ministry spokesman, said the attacks, which came after the ceasefire announcement, reflect “clear determination to persist in targeting the country’s security and vital capabilities.”
[+5] u/Skylake1987: holy shit it's holding til 930, my straddle calls will print
[+5] u/Czyzzle: Just shut up and buy calls. This is a throw a dart and win day.
[+5] u/nickpufferfish: Doubling down on puts after scam ceasefire 😎😎. 10 pt peace plan unacceptable to US and Israel, Iran wants to continue enriching uranium. 🥭lied to accepting it to push concept of a ceasefire through. US to continue strikes after negotiations break down Friday.
[+5] u/TropicalOinkment: See you in Valhalla brother
[+5] u/I_Study_The_Patterns: LMAO Netflix what a piece of shit
[+5] u/ThinCrusts: Watch us crab all day cause fuck your puts and fuck your calls that you just bought
[+5] u/BurstingTitan88: Don’t you dare be a fake ass pump 😭😭😭
[+5] u/PermissionJealous814: Where is the big sellof ?
[+5] u/No_Tough_2065: $4k in mu sold for $26k.. wish I bought sandisk instead 😪
[+5] u/MajikoiA3When: Rugpull candle as soon as bulls bought calls is nasty
[+5] u/prodigyya: When will fundamentals start to matter again?
[+5] u/DeezCodeNutz: Is it time for a Shrek V2?
[+5] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: The ceasefire is already finished bro.
Buy puts if you are smart
[+5] u/ElTorteTooga: A lot of people are having a very good day and a lot of people are having a very bad day.
[+5] u/hardcrepe: 2 minutes until bear extermination
[+5] u/vee1rot8: Pam Bondi died for this. We thank your sacrifice
[+5] u/unhappyreach_: Happy end of sleep time fellow humans
[+5] u/RollofDuctTape: So Iran is bombing people still, and the administrations response is “we’ve done such a good job killing everyone that it’s taking a bit of time to communicate the ceasefire.”
And you’re bullish? 😭
[+5] u/WingedScapula420: Here I go buying puts again
[+5] u/cowman711: No morning pump does not seem good for bulls tbh
[+5] u/RollofDuctTape: Bulls say I should be sad. But I’m up 77% on puts I bought at open. Hmm. 🤔
[+5] u/2AMTrader: There is no deal yet, strait is not open until deal, a deal that no one will agree on...
[+20] u/knoqd_: > IRAN'S FARS NEWS AGENCY SAYS OIL TANKERS PASSING THROUGH HORMUZ HAVE BEEN STOPPED AFTER ISRAEL'S 'CEASEFIRE BREACH'
[+18] u/ajibtunes: BREAKING: Iranian military source:
"No oil tanker or ship belonging to the enemies will pass through the Strait of Hormuz before 'Israel' commits to a ceasefire in Lebanon"
[+18] u/optionsCone: The ceasefire will cease to exist. Buying puts
> IRAN'S FARS NEWS AGENCY REPORTS OIL TANKERS THROUGH HORMUZ HAVE BEEN HALTED DUE TO ISRAEL'S 'CEASEFIRE VIOLATION.'
[+17] u/Nice-Difference8641: > Iran's Fars says that oil tanker traffic through Hormuz has been halted due to Israeli ceasefire violations in Lebanon.
Oh BROTHER
[+16] u/softboiledjadepotato: Damn, Isreal already violating ceasefire, who woulda thought 🤷♂️
[+16] u/stonetrade: I watch fox news any time I feel stupid. Makes me feel better
[+16] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: “During the two-week ceasefire, only about 10 to 15 ships will be permitted to pass through the Strait of Hormuz with Iran's approval, in coordination with the IRGC Navy and after payment of tolls, and the United States is committed to releasing all of Iran's frozen assets. The Strait of Hormuz will in no way—even after a final agreement—be "open" as it was before.”
Masterful gambit, sir. Art of the Deal
[+15] u/jonneh: Bro 😭
> (Reuters) -- Saudi oil pipeline to the Red Sea was attacked by Iran; damage is being assessed.
[+15] u/QuarkTheFerengi: everyone still following actual news like it matters for usa markets
you must become one with the vibes and propaganda
[+15] u/Thisispaartaaa: Ceasefire over, war resumes...well that was fun 12 hours
[+15] u/bearhunter429: #Shit FADING hard. Red by close. LMAO🤌
[+14] u/Nomynametoday: Operation Epic Failure
[+14] u/The_Juice_Gourd: This bitch might close red lmaaao
[+14] u/posicrit868: So Lebanon is and isn’t part of the ceasefire, the nuke objective is and isn’t completed, and Hormuz is and isn’t open.
👍
[+14] u/Issa_vibe74: If I could trade $10000 the way I trade $500 I’d be rich
[+13] u/Beneficial-Sail-6139: This won't hold. Mark my words. Lebanon is being horribly attacked rn and this will prompt Iran to respond
[+13] u/ddrsdght: Iran got sanctions removed and now control 20% of the worlds oil. Winning
[+13] u/EnvironmentalSelf438: HORMUZ IS CLOSED AGAIN
[+13] u/Dependent-Tax-4721: Market realizing this is still a big mess that isn't over
[+13] u/octopus_serenader: 🥭 thought he was in charge of this war. 😂
[+12] u/Scalpaholic: As I suspected, 🐝 🐝 won't allow mango🥭 to 🌮.
Ceasefire already collapsing. This hangovers' going to be a bitch!
[+12] u/FrostingOk2692: the big moves were outside market hours, as is tradition
[+12] u/Kabrosif: Just a reminder to the Bols here, Russia and Ukraine have had about 10 Ceasefires in the last 4 years. Hows that working out?
[+12] u/NonimiJewelry: Iran just said on news that they will start attacking Zionist territories
[+12] u/squawkerstar: The market is staying solvent longer than I can remain irrational
[+12] u/JollySignificance451: Didn’t buy calls yesterday but at least didn’t buy calls at open today
[+12] u/Leather_Floor8725: Bulls forgot Market was already wobbly before Iran.
[+12] u/Dependent-Tax-4721: US/Israel stalling for time and trying to change the optics of the War
They want to continue while saying "Look, we gave them what they wanted and they're still unhappy"
My opinion anyways
[+12] u/Arcisi: Lmao imagine not selling at open today.
[+12] u/Scalpaholic: Grab those cheap Oil Futes before Market actually starts reading the 10 point plan it signed while drunk af last night.
[+11] u/rollinhating: Israel hasnt honored a singel ceasefire and yall thibk they will honor this 1?
[+11] u/knoqd_: > IRAN WILL WITHDRAW FROM CEASEFIRE AGREEMENT IF ATTACK ON LEBANON CONTINUES - IRAN'S TASNIM NEWS AGENCY CITING UNNAMED SOURCE
Big Yahu please stop🥹
[+11] u/Damerman: I'm still holding my puts.
If I die, I die
[+11] u/Les7X: LMAO Bibi still unloading. 🥭 is such a fool
[+11] u/Warm_Implement3088: OH SHIT BOIS WE GOIN DOWWWWWNNNN
[+11] u/Jimmy_Trivette: Israel already violated ceasefire, they're hellbent on starting WW3
[+11] u/Few-Quiet-283: People thought a ceasefire negotiated by Pakistan was gunna be durable?
[+11] u/Zestyclose-Bit271: Feels like with ships still getting turned away and bombs still dropping this is the first day constituting a complete break from reality in the stock market. They aren’t even pretending they care anymore
[+11] u/branpo26: Iran already stopping the flow of ships thru the straight hahahahahha
[+10] u/Ok-Piano8789: >IRAN NAVY MESSAGE SAYS SHIP OWNERS NEED TO RECEIVE PERMISSION FROM IRAN TO TRANSIT OR THEY WILL BE TARGETED AND DESTROYED - REPORT CITING SHIPPING SOURCES
sounds like the COMPLETE, IMMEDIATE, and SAFE OPENING of the Strait of Hormuz is going well
[+10] u/Val44x: Iran fake agreed to the cease fire so they could short the pump
US faked cease fire to pump then dump
Irans state media told you they would!
[+10] u/Shurlak: from +4k to +1.3k, i hate this market
[+10] u/johannschmidt: Whoa, I did not have Bibi immediately violating a ceasefire agreement on my bibingo card.
[+10] u/Apfelmoes_: Many here predicted yesterday's taco cease fire and the fact that Israel would immediately sabotage it afterwards and both things happened. So this whole "inverse WSB" thing isn't really true, there's plenty of smart folks here. Iran will probably retaliate for the massacres in Lebanon before the end of today.
[+10] u/soccer29801830: Our greatest ally strikes again, so thankful for their never ending support and promotion of world peace /s
[+10] u/Leading_Form_8485: Puts be printing hohoho
[+10] u/TomatoSpecialist6879: Imagine trading on fundamentals and losing money instead of vibe trading your way to 100 baggers
[+10] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: I don't think anyone realizes how funny it would be if we ended *RED*🫴🩸
[+10] u/clubdirthill: Difficult conversations in Mossad HQ right now about 🥭
[+10] u/Alone_Education_2530: Israel is like the little brother who hits you and then cries and blames you.
[+10] u/XeroShyft: My puts are printinggggg
[+10] u/daedalus_dance: Puts at open honestly always the play after an overnight move like that.
[+10] u/gamayogi: Cash gang representin'.
There ain't no predicting this market right now except that it's fucked and we have clowns and madmen at the wheel who are milking it for all its worth.
Not holding a fucking thing with this crazy market. Initially bought calls, sold quick when I realized that action was priced in overnight and switched to uso calls and spy puts.
Sold for 15-40% gains before I even got out of bed.
Now on to rest of my day.. Best regards and good luck guys.
[+9] u/BillyShears2015: So it would appear that 🥭 is the only one actually ceasing with the firing
[+9] u/Bioneer_Bete: 🇺🇸 & 🇮🇷: Ok, ok, we’ve agreed to a ceasefire on the condition that we get all the concessions we’ve been asking for for 2 weeks :) :)
🇮🇱: Uhh wtf no.
🇺🇸 & 🇮🇷: :) :) :)
Oil Price: 📉
Stocks: 📈🚀
Ships in the Gulf with the actual oil: Absolutely tf not
Stocks: 🤷🏻♂️
Gas Prices: 😴
[+9] u/Rez-_-: Buying puts doesn’t mean you want people to die or war to happen. 9/10 times it just means you think the market should revert to some form of pace or momentum and shouldn’t have an abrupt change without a massive piece of new cemented information that something that was looming or going on has cleared up or the after effects of what was going on have been addressed. I hate seeing people think anyone who gets puts just wants chaos and everything to burn down
[+9] u/btoned: Bols...you realize we're still red YTD and 🥭 is always one missed nap away from threatening to annihilate everyone right?
[+9] u/Zipsterino: The funniest outcome would be for Spy to just keep going up, therefore that’s what will happen.
[+9] u/ChickenYip: Great ceasefire of 4/7-4/8
[+9] u/Castopliani: Holy shit at this point there HAS to be a hedge fund algo that analyzes WSB sentiment and does the opposite
[+9] u/Ok_Cry7572: He didn't say the war is over yet, just a delay of 2 weeks. Oil higher than current prices by eom easy
[+9] u/Waverun: Threatening wiping out entire civilization? Market down 1 point.
Hopes and prayers of a cease fire? We are going to the moon
[+9] u/urraca: \*PASSAGE OF OIL TANKERS VIA HORMUZ STRAIT HAS BEEN STOPPED: FARS
[+9] u/Time_Tax4274: The passage of oil tankers through the Strait of Hormuz has been stopped, per Iran's Fars News Agency. OIL CALLS ?
[+9] u/Such_Coin: Huh. Israel messed it up. Never coulda seen that one coming.
[+9] u/Individual_Error_428: Ok show of hands, who bought into this fake ass pump lmao
[+9] u/jraiv420: If you didn't sell near open your the exit liquidity ☝️🤓
[+9] u/tearslikesn0w: Israel’s ‘creasefire breach’
Down we go boys
[+9] u/Bladee___Enthusiast: Why does israel love blowing shit up so much
[+9] u/Available_Way_355: In all seriousness I hope you buls took profits at open but I know the reality is some of you were holding single stock calls which opened at 50% profit and you kept holding
[+9] u/Pazzaaaaaa: The Saudis must be so pissed. Giving trillions of dollars to Mango and USA. Iran fucks up their tourist economy and oil industry infrastructure. Then Iran gets rewarded by given control of the strait.
[+9] u/Rez-_-: 20 point recovery in 5 minutes just to fuck your puts and now probably fake chop rest of the day before going lower (when you can’t exit) and than back up by the time you get access tomorrow morning
[+9] u/XX_AppleSauce: You put your port in, you pull your port out, you put your port in and you stress and shout and doubt. You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn your port around. That's what it's all about!!
[+9] u/Rez-_-: I’m way too confident we revisit yesterday lows and retrace last nights entire announcement move, which means it’s going to happen in the most fuckery filled way that’s difficult to profit off of.
[+9] u/Les7X: Schrödinger's ceasefire LMAOOOOOOO
[+9] u/LiveMotivation: If you didn’t sell your calls first thing. Like WTF are you waiting for??
[+8] u/jatomozem: Am I in a dream? TACO/ceasfire happened, oil fell ~15%, S&P grow by ~2.5%. Isreal ignored it, UAE/Saudi ignored it, Iran retaliated. Market ignores it...
[+8] u/TheMightySet69: Calls on my blood pressure
[+8] u/inexpungeable29: These are going to be the freest puts in history
[+8] u/clavitopaz: Israel fucking up the pump
[+8] u/The_Juice_Gourd: Turns out there was no ceasefire and the strait still closed lmao
[+8] u/Top-Fig845: This is pure profit taking. Bers are still fucked
[+8] u/cats_are_gay_ama: Palantir please I need this
My mom is kinda homeless
[+8] u/1337Scott: Spy rugpull when? I predict +1.44% close today
[+8] u/Poptart_Salad: So uhhhh the strait isn't open, and Israel is violating the ceasefire left and right? Idk, might just stay cash for today.
[+8] u/Competitive-Water944: Bul dick pills wearing off. Looking floppy
[+8] u/MrIntuition: it wants to dump so bad
[+8] u/Warm_Implement3088: The whiplash from the future Mango tweets about being all for the new regime back to WE MUST DESTROY is going to be crazy. all within a 24hr period
[+8] u/FelixMumuHex: Taco Tuesday is over, Iran already closing the Strait lmao
Iran making US look so weak
[+8] u/FelixMumuHex: >Several vessels in the Gulf receive messages claiming to be from Iran's Navy saying that the Strait of Hormuz is still closed, shipping sources tell Reuters
[+8] u/Les7X: Looks Bibi didn't agree to shit
[+8] u/Val44x: Red close would be legitimately hilarious
The most manipulated market in history!
[+8] u/patricktu1258: Am I exit liquidity?
[+8] u/The_real_Covfefe-19: I am monitoring the absolute shit out of the situation, honestly I'm impressing myself.
[+8] u/Lonely_Impression918: I litterally will not open my broker app
[+8] u/VancityRenaults: Markets are gey
Fundamentals don’t matter
Thank you for your
Attention to this banter
[+8] u/Bapu_: SPY up 35% in a year and yet half of wsb is down
[+8] u/FearlessStatement144: No lock out rally here. Waiting on 668
[+8] u/Thisispaartaaa: Look, Iran just took out the east/west pipeline in Saudi Arabia (their ability to export via red sea), forcing them to use the strait of Hormuz almost exclusively (this happened after the "ceasefire"). Iran is forcing all energy to pass through the strait of Hormuz, which they want to control, which would effectively give them control over 20% or more of world energy supplies, fertilizer, nat gas etc. They never had control before the war, why the fuck should they have control now? Mark my words...This will not end with Iran having control over the strait, missiles are still flying because the gulf nations won't allow Iran to have control over the strait, neither will the americans. This continues until either nobody controls the strait, or the americans do. The saudi's will go full on savage mode if Iran is allowed to control the strait.
[+8] u/tinydisaster: Bloomberg - oil ships halted because Lebanon strikes
[+8] u/absolutxtr: oil creeping up. I wonder what that poor Citrini analyst is seeing. no ships moving cuz the strait is still effectively closed?
[+8] u/Legitimate_Prior_803: Iran stopping passage of oil tankers in strait. Well that was short lived
[+8] u/No-Lettuce3564: Last chance to sell before everything goes 5-10% down.
[+8] u/kvmcc: Mainstream media is lagging. The daily discussion thread on wsb is the only way to actually stay ahead of the curve.
[+8] u/jatomozem: Did market finally realized that it's another bullshit on media and reality in middleeast look different?
[+8] u/A55BAG: both can be true at the same time 😉
[+8] u/Available_Way_355: Some of you guys are genuinely out of your minds if you thought Iran would give up their ONLY leverage with no guarantees in their favour 🤣
[+8] u/Nice-Difference8641: This is highkey humiliating for 🥭
[+8] u/Daveonaltair4: Market negotiating with itself now, you have to just laugh
[+8] u/RelentlessPutz: Well its crashing like tiger woods so should be there in no time
[+8] u/SuspiciousStable9649: Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of the money I didn’t lose
[+8] u/Who_is_Your_Zaddy: 🅱️rump says U.S. may seek a "joint venture" with Iran to safeguard the Strait of Hormuz. What a joke
[+8] u/iamblicus000: If only 🥭 would man up and tell Netanyahu that he doesn't care if he releases the tape, we could be past all this.
[+7] u/bronfmanhigh: so USO calls for 2 weeks from now?
[+7] u/Standard_Tea8250: Hope I dont regret it but sold everything
[+7] u/Itchy_Election_5327: my mom called / urged me to buy stocks since the war is "over"
yea we're ending red today
[+7] u/Scalpaholic: SPY high af making motor sounds in a burned out car on the side if the road.
Ber 👮♂️ just chilling in the 🚔 eating 🍩s and waiting for SPY to pass out.
[+7] u/gnanwahs: *OIL TANKERS PASSING THROUGH HORMUZ HAVE BEEN STOPPED AFTER ISRAEL'S 'CEASEFIRE BREACH' - IRAN'S FARS NEWS AGENCY
hello market????
[+7] u/Les7X: Lol the pakistani scammed 🥭 "Sir just send me picture of your card please"
[+7] u/Wonderful-Ad-1787: Someone explain to me why the market has been going straight down since open :l
[+7] u/Sidney_Godsby: Because it went straight up last night and nothing had materially changed, yet.
[+7] u/mackey88: Imagine a tweet “Iran has 24/48 hours to fully open the strait or…”
Then we are back to the waiting game and then another TACO.
[+7] u/browsk: Guys she let me touch her vwap last night
[+7] u/bonkers69: Bahahaha TSLA. You Elon simps better hope the grifter rolls out another rocket for ya bc this one is going down in flames
[+7] u/Datsyuk131313: Look how the massacred my (oil) boy
[+7] u/OptionsHuduga: lets face it - today is just a chance for you to try to breakeven and exit some dogshit bagholding positions before you get stuck in hell again. same movie. same shit. different day.
[+7] u/BorrisZ: bols do realize if Israel doesn’t stop attacking Lebanon, Iran will break the ceasefire right?
[+7] u/jraiv420: Ceasefire nonexistent like bols profits
[+7] u/GalacticGreaseMonkey: Traders that have aderall prescriptions are the equivalent of steroids in MMA
[+7] u/Alone_Education_2530: There’s no way people actually bought calls at open.. You can’t be that dumb..?
[+7] u/Opening_Normal: A taco inside of a taco. The double taco.
https://preview.redd.it/6d52aodx9ztg1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=2c9cfa1d1cc0fa2d780c6fddee5ffc930da0d197
[+7] u/Beneficial-Sail-6139: Aljazeera: the Strait is closed due to "israel" violation of ceasefire... i told ya
[+7] u/Playless: one more pump to kill the bers is coming
[+7] u/Feisty-Basis7903: Are people forgetting CPI print is literally this Friday? lol
[+7] u/btoned: Bols seriously yapping their gums all night as if this market doesn't literally fluctuate 3% dam near daily.
[+7] u/tikimandude: Damn it's like the terms of the ceasefire said Iran controls the strait and can do anything to it at any time.
[+7] u/hotCupADank: absolutely hilarious lol
[+7] u/lifo888: Iran just closed the strait again because of Lebanon attacks
[+7] u/ClaytonRook: TSLA now accepting EBT
[+7] u/Alone_Education_2530: Iran asking for Bitcoin payment from shippers was the cherry on top. You can’t make this shit up.
[+7] u/Zimoula: Lmao bear trap now we pump more
[+7] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: It's not all bad news for Bulls.
We got CPI report this week. Surely inflation went back down guys, right?😆
[+7] u/cyril1991: Those poor B52 pilots must be fed up flying back and forth to Iran for nothing
[+7] u/AcademicStandard3701: Come on bears flip it red for me.
[+7] u/Excellent_Tourist633: If you are suffering from TACOthelioma, you may be entitled to compensation
[+7] u/Sad-Substance8684: Fake ceasefire was priced in at open. You are too late
[+7] u/skychief99: A whole new crop of bag holders have been created.
[+7] u/Lello163: Americans paying israel with their tax money
[+7] u/bobbyOsullivan: Hegseth demanding Iran turn over it's uranium stockpiles. That'll go well surely.
[+7] u/Warm_Implement3088: I think this may have been a massive insider setup with the ceasefire knowing it wouldn't work. shorts enter today. actually insane
[+6] u/illinformed-will: No facts allowed today bruh
[+6] u/EntrepreneurOld7858: So let me get this right:
🥭 was gonna bomb Iran back to the stone ages.
- Tanks the market.
PAKISTAN asks for a ceasefire, deal extension and Hormuz Straight opens.
- Market rips.
ISREAL steps in and bombs the piss out of LEBANON.
- Market begins to tank again.
What the fuck
[+6] u/HonestScar7176: Hopefully you guys sold those calls. Cause they are stopping anyone from passing though the straight still 😆
[+6] u/FearlessStatement144: Take profit and leave runners. Just 1 post away from losing it all. Nothings changed. Prob more uncertainty now
[+6] u/Initial_Ad_9250: Bibi absolutely not being Habibi rn
[+6] u/Excellent_Tourist633: Options did update, unfortunately
[+6] u/ithastogoupfromhere: I stay in cash today, this is all too random
[+6] u/MrIntuition: riding spy 670 puts 0dte
🥭 can’t help but strike
[+6] u/The_Alan_Greenspan: Little green stairs up, big red elevator down.
[+6] u/Warm_Implement3088: If you ever feel retarded Just remember, there's people that look at SNDK at 800 and say "I should put millions into this"
[+6] u/ajibtunes: Initial reports say the death toll in Lebanon has risen to 500 following Israeli airstrikes today.
[+6] u/johns2289: Dollar just getting decimated jesus
[+6] u/Oblivious-Speculator: Whoever brought those calls from me! 🖕
[+6] u/parallelogramm3r: Knowing that I could buy one put right now and cause the POTUS to post the most unhinged tweet of all time makes me feel so powerful
[+6] u/New_Possible_284: America just lost a war, market should be down , not up. All of our allies will continue dumping U.S. treasuries
[+6] u/7000series: Loading up on puts. See y'all in two weeks when the inevitable taco returns
[+6] u/Warm_Implement3088: So... Israel breaks ceasfire (no surprise), Iran isn't letting ships through still (no surprise) spy is up 2.3%
[+6] u/100xOrBust: Ceasefire was clearly priced in, and I can't imagine there is gonna be any more good news lmao.
[+6] u/minin71: 3% gap up of course you gotta sell. Dont be the exit liquidity.
[+6] u/Rez-_-: I get that the game is rigged from an information and insider knowledge standpoint, but I personally believe we’ve entered a whole new era where the movement of price in general is extraordinarily predatory and deliberately manufactured most of the time and it’s very frustrating if you’ve tried to learn and study this stuff for a long time
[+6] u/StockMeringue2428: the strait is open but you have to pay Iran in BTC to get through and if you dont pay you cant go through but the strait is totally open.
[+6] u/TheMightySet69: Allah, please reward me for being retarded and not setting stop losses today
[+6] u/TrumpsCummyOnahole: Spy should max be up .5% day, literally nothing has changed
[+5] u/R3dFiveStandingBye: SPY gap up is insane looking
[+5] u/AlanShawZJU: Microsoft never fails to disappoint
[+5] u/WendyDumpsterFire: What’s so bullish everyone is still broke and paying tariffs
[+5] u/Only-Cranberry-4502: Chat how many times do you think mods have gotten laid - excluding men though
[+5] u/Unlikely-Evening2919: this market is reatarded
[+5] u/Yousoldmetohigh: Lots of dumping on my screen but spy is staying strong.
[+5] u/arigold940: lol this dumb pump gap won’t hold.. you’ve gotta be an idiot to eat this news. they lower their guns for 2 weeks & what back to ath & oil back down?? fuck outta here LOL
[+5] u/Comfortable_Rock4513: Where’s the pump, I want to retire
[+5] u/Walking72: Iranian official says will ‘punish’ Israel for ‘crime’ in Lebanon
A senior official in Iran has told Al Jazeera that the country will “punish Israel in response to the crime it committed in Lebanon and the violation of the ceasefire terms”
[+5] u/Scalpaholic: Robinhood going spastastic 😑
[+36] u/OkRecommendation1040: https://preview.redd.it/44idqpxlgztg1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1275f488cdf61afaa85fdb85263d69c636b379fd
Bol trap
[+22] u/Threebridges2: Rumors of bers death were greatly exaggerated
[+21] u/jiggolo420: Real talk.. Why does Isreal get to dictate what the US does?
[+21] u/ToroLoco_TL: BREAKING: The passage of oil tankers through the Strait of Hormuz has been stopped, per Iran's Fars News Agency.
Iran says it will withdraw from the ceasefire if Israel continues attacks on Lebanon and it is preparing potential responses.
[+20] u/Current_Animator7546: Iran state media says the Strait is closed. Not confirmed but heads up.
[+20] u/twenty_three_three: Classic Israel ceasefire.
You cease, we fire.
[+20] u/Country_Gravy420: Strait closed again and oil and indexes don't move.
That's all you need to know about this market
[+18] u/emanresu711: Maybe the problem ISREAL
[+17] u/AprilsSecretAccount: This "ceasefire" will last until Friday market close. Then watch out.
[+17] u/Frosty-Pea-4577: At this point dropping a nuke on Iran might actually send spy to ATH
[+16] u/Haboubiii: Israel broke the ceasefire, again.
Lmao
[+16] u/wyudtix: Bers were lowkey right. Today has been a nothing burger
[+16] u/Rock_or_Rol: So, Iran agrees to ceasefire
Kuwait under attack still
Israel still attacking Lebanon
Strait still closed
What am I missing? Is there an Iranian propaganda purge afoot? False flag? Math ain’t mathin
[+16] u/SoothingWafer: I feel like there's an unusually high amount of explosions during this ceasefire.
[+16] u/Harvooost: lol remember when 🥭 did that car commercial for Tesla on the white house lawn?
[+16] u/SearchUsual5193: War off +3% war on -0.3%
[+16] u/ToroLoco_TL: BREAKING: Iran warns that it will withdraw from the ceasefire agreement if Israel continues attacks on Lebanon.
Just minutes ago, the White House told Axios that the ceasefire agreement does not include Lebanon.
[+16] u/CherryPokerGame: It’s amazing in the age of accessing instant information we can’t tell if the fucking strait is closed or not
[+16] u/Substantial-Art5008: So many factors is in favor for this shit to tank and we’re pumping??????? Makes no sense
[+15] u/carpetmagicianlaughs: Israel will prolong the war, shorting here
[+15] u/ToroLoco_TL: ISRAEL WAS UNHAPPY ABOUT THE ANNOUNCEMENT AND WASN’T CONSULTED ON THE TERMS OF THE DEAL: WSJ
ISRAELI SECURITY CABINET TO DISCUSS IRAN CEASEFIRE: WSJ
TS is insane 😭😭😭 they are "unhappy" 😂 😂 😂
[+15] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: Yall realize half this thread is terminally online. If your posting an article that’s over 15 minutes old we’ve already seen it
[+15] u/CoopCrossing: You can rug now thanks
[+15] u/Bittertwitter: I do not hate bers nor bols. Not even thetagang. I hate the algos.
[+15] u/atat4e: Market is so bored of this war
[+15] u/Grindstone_Cowboy: Boys I just realised I'm obsessively checking stocks to avoid dealing with my real problems, going to go fight my dad brb
[+15] u/Advanced_Worry_5525: Saudi pipeline hit. So Iran legit thinks they won and can do what they want now?
[+14] u/Bcider: Is the ceasefire in the room with us?
[+14] u/AfraidAnalyst: Is Iran just launching fireworks to show happiness about the ceasefire?
[+14] u/Reply_Stunning: dump the markets you crazy bastards !!
[+14] u/B0thS1desN0w: This is a rug pull in the making
[+14] u/Substantial-Art5008: HOW IS FHE MARKET PUMPING LOL????
[+14] u/Jupitersd2017: If not war then why war shaped
[+13] u/SadDevelopment3049: Enjoy holding the bag, dumb ahh bulls
[+13] u/HolyBubbiDiver: Gheys, I think were in for a flash crash
[+13] u/GroupKooky: This 2 week ceasefire is honestly laughable at this point. No chance this holds up.
[+13] u/Irishbros1991: People really thought Israel would let this happen?
[+13] u/WombatShwambat: Out of day trades. Poor man’s diamond hands engaged
[+13] u/ShikariV: Bloomberg reporting that Iran is now hitting desalination plants in Kuwait.
[+13] u/GlobalResolution77: schrodinger's strait
[+13] u/horseisahorse: There's a WH press briefing scheduled to begin 1 hour and 15 minutes from now
[+13] u/Beginning_Purple_579: Ceasefire jas been broken by Israel, Iran closed Hormuz again and market doesnt care. Love it.
[+13] u/Bombad443: The trick is to buy calls and puts. Impossible to be wrong👯♀️
[+12] u/Ahzmer: Bahahaha this market is incredible. Its all a lie. Its all propped up by lies upon lies, and it just keeps going up.
Puts = ded, but eventually this may go down bigly. Who knows if bigly down in 12-24 months tho
[+12] u/SerialStrategist: Today is a blessing those those who want to get out.
[+12] u/WorkingCorrect1062: Hormuz blocked again, ceasefire was big fat nothing burger 🍔
[+12] u/VeryMercurial: Iran: ok we try ceasefire
Israel: increase fire? Say less fam
[+12] u/Reply_Stunning: bols r fuk very hard soon
[+12] u/CD274: Lol, Israel says it wasn't consulted about the terms of the deal - wsj
[+12] u/AlpineMic88: US just officially stated that Lebanon is not part of the ceasefire agreement. Iran vows to resume the war if Lebanon keeps getting hit. Looks like the war is back on.
[+12] u/sck178: Israel was the first to ruin it all?! WHHAAAAAT?! who could have seen tha... Oh right. Nevermind
[+12] u/PeachScary413: Lmaoo so Mango went through the whole humiliation ritual just to get fucked over on day 1 by his buddy Yahoo 💀👌
[+12] u/briballdo: I fucking hate the stock market so much lmfao
[+11] u/Gom_KBull: >*Defense Secretary Pete Kegsbreath on Wednesday called on Iran to turn over its stockpile of 970 pounds of highly enriched uranium, saying that 🥭could still order a U.S. commando raid to seize the material, which could be quickly made ready to use in a nuclear device. - NYT*
yeah good luck with the ceasefire
[+11] u/Ok_Persimmon9849: I get that it sometimes works out in our favor (made a cool couple grand today off the fake TACO) but is it not legitimately concerning that the president is manipulating the markets to get richer and screw us all? Like we can ride the waves right now sure but this is going to have consequences at some point lol
[+11] u/charsons: This is a bull trap, everyone knows we’re gonna start some shit again come Friday after market close
[+11] u/7fingersDeep: Whenever this sub gets too bullish or too bearish - it's the best fucking indicator to inverse.
[+11] u/PimpCforlife: this is my neighbor bibi, he is pain in my assholes
[+11] u/grantern2: I fucking hate my job. I’m just sitting here bored. What a waste of fucking time
I’ve been applying to other jobs but no one wants to hire me. Idk what the fuck to do
[+11] u/PierreEscarg0t: 14 ~~day~~ hour ceasefire
[+10] u/Training_Week3740: Lol who said bers were wiped out?
[+10] u/Go-Woodpecker3908: Israel says pump is a paper Tiger
[+10] u/ItInProg: 300% on my tesla puts
naturally i listened to my rules and only put in 1% of my port unlike my spy puts where i yolo'd 10% 🙃
[+10] u/Ahzmer: Lol. Hormuz is more closed than it was before
https://www.marinetraffic.com/en/ais/home/centerx:56.4/centery:26.1/zoom:8
Not a single ship. Ceasefire about to end.
Bulls, you have your miracle gains and im honestly happy for u even tho my oil calls got shanked. But dont get rugged. Yes, taco rallies are bigly good, but they have faded every single time last weeks too.
[+10] u/emergencyexit: I don't get it, Trump said it's over. Why are they still fighting. Don't they know he's the president?
[+10] u/SirBuysHighALot: Rug pull them bitches.
[+10] u/Erra0: Hormuz is closed again. https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/breaking-iran-closes-strait-hormuz-36985945
[+10] u/MoreOutcome8541: Short the fuck out of this “pump”
[+10] u/CigInside: Straight back to closed and still shrek. Never was about the straight but just regard hopium and manipulation?
[+10] u/SearchUsual5193: Yesterdays ceasefire was just optics for mango to save face on that drunk tweet
[+10] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: # WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETER 🦅
[+10] u/lonewolf210: When will oil spike because the market realizes that the strait hasn't and will not reopen
[+10] u/omgjayy: How has this market not dumped even a little bit after that massive pump yesterday
[+9] u/Threebridges2: Sources saying Iran may pull out of the ceasefire over Israel/Lebanon
[+9] u/carpetmagicianlaughs: Nuke Israel, they are shorting my bags
[+9] u/ImadeJesusLaugh: breaking: Tehran Officials now barricade Strait of Hormuz with a Wet Sand/Taco filling mixture to ensure the halt on Ships passing through the strait
[+9] u/broke_person: Ceasefire deal made: +3%
Just kidding Israel attacked: -1%
Ceasefire agreed again: +3%
Just kidding: -1%
Casefire deal finally made: +5%
Bulls always win
[+9] u/Rrrandomalias: Did Israel strike Tesla too 😂
[+9] u/trent_upscale: Strait is Officially Clopen
[+9] u/JellyfishLarge3794: Tarrif on tariff off
War on war off
Strait on Strait off
[+9] u/Liquidtears: How is SPY still 2.4% up and Iran have closed the strait again?
[+9] u/Bloodshed3412: lol longest ceasefire ever. TACO tacoed the TACO of the TACO
[+9] u/RabbitLogic: Market is ignoring the latest news because Trump showed his hand yesterday. He understands how politically untenable the war is domestically. The market is betting on Trump pulling Israel into line.
[+9] u/Rock_Flaccid: Low volume bleed up is my personal hell
[+9] u/rygypi: Doubling down on puts so I can lose up to twice the money
[+9] u/Intelligent-Claim193: Again the strait is fucking closed and it’s still not moving
[+9] u/WallStreetBetsCALLSS: # Market cares less than you think
[+9] u/Affectionate-End2461: Every ship at Hormuz is like no you go first. No you first sir!
[+9] u/Brawlerz16: You really just have to trade the first and last hours of the day. Everything else is dog doo doo
[+9] u/FernFan: Market shoot’s up on news of ceasefire.
Market continues going up after ceasefire is immediately broken.
[+9] u/thegx7: Iran confirms no to ceasefire and market is still up 2% is gay and unfathomably cringe
[+8] u/Responsible-Rip8793: We might not go back to 650, but we are definitely going back down (700 ain’t coming).
Strait is closed
[+8] u/jsie-iaiqhsi816278: [Iran has once again closed the Strait](https://www.jpost.com/middle-east/iran-news/article-892378)
SPY 700 once it opens for a second time
[+8] u/YNeverWAlone: Bulls walk around in public without swinging their arms.
[+8] u/Lytalm: For the first time ever I'm buying oil stock. I hate it but it's the way of profit immarite?
[+8] u/Liquidsnake959: Its funny how you all think you are in the situation room.
[+8] u/silverfutes: Wet sand. Very wet, very sand.
[+8] u/AdOk3638: Raise your hands if u are the regard that bought calls at open. 🙌
[+8] u/Putrid_Pollution3455: Correlation across assets is stupid. Market is broken.
[+7] u/Drokeep: Strait closed again, bullish
[+7] u/AdExtension3875: no way i can watch this and work, i should just stop working..
[+7] u/zuziannka: Dump Tesla to 440 thanks
[+7] u/thenorthernwhiteboy: SPY 673 c 0dte up 80% lfg
Lost so much on my long dated puts tho
[+7] u/CafeClimbOtis: Mango is NOT invited to the toll booth !
[+7] u/rygypi: Why would the stock market go up more when a ceasefire was the best possible case? What, 🥭 gonna tweet that the war is over and we’re back to 690??
[+7] u/drpa1n: I wonder how many oil longs got liquidated today. Must be an insane amount. Anyways, buying more oil longs
[+7] u/nigofe: You get a missile
And you get a missile
And you get a missile
Everyone gets a missile!
[+7] u/Jebusfreek666: pump incoming again on SPY. not sure how much though so get out quick.
[+7] u/Cheeseheroplopcake: 🇮🇱 saving so many puts right now.
Those returns were promised 3000 years ago
[+7] u/jsie-iaiqhsi816278: TSLA 14 days until “earnings” LMAO
[+7] u/SlyCooper007: Lol and Iran closed the strait again due to attacks in Lebanon. Nothing. Is. Real. We could go down 15% tomorrow then be back up 20% three days later on nothing news.
[+7] u/Nervous-Sky2414: Iran claims ceasefire violated cause Israel attacked Hez in Lebanon. Pres says that wasn't a part of the deal. Strait closed by Iran. Source - Israel Times.
[+7] u/PossibilityLocal5335: Breaking: Hormuz is actually 🌈 and not straight.
[+6] u/dash_trash4255: Cease fire? Never heard of her
[+6] u/RecklessHorse: Bears putting the broke rage into brokerage rn
[+6] u/DJpissnshit: We are in a moment of quantum finance rn where anyone can make fun of any position for any reason and be absolutely correct.
[+6] u/Scared-Signature-452: Its only 2% right now because a lot of people burned over the last few months are taking profits. Be back at 3 or 4% by end of week is my prediction.
[+6] u/Weak_Ostrich459: Sold some stuff for profit, done for the day, good luck
[+6] u/hoidzaheer777: I sold at open at 864% jump on spy for 4/10 calls
Will it likely go up ? Probably but I ain’t going to be around to see it today. I QUIT.
[+6] u/MysteriousPomelo9498: if you didn't buy calls at close yesterday, sell them at open, and flip them into weekly puts idk what to tell you
[+6] u/kemar7856: Close the strait agian 🐻
[+6] u/chancepack: Hormuz news going to drop the market bad.
[+6] u/throw2503: Uh oh, I think the bolz are silent now
[+6] u/_maverick98: ghey of hormuz back on the menu bois
[+6] u/_pout_: lol get your puts loaded. This ceasefire will be called, "time needed to move boats across the ocean," in the history books.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
[+6] u/NOKIABUMPS69: Has Bibi ever honored a ceasefire in his life? Asking for my puts
[+6] u/DanqueLeChay: Everyone trapped yet?
[+5] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: US lost. they take what they can
[+5] u/Icy-Motor-8519: Ceasefire isn’t lasting long lol
Iran: Iran will punish Israel for attacks against Hezbollah in violation of ceasefire - Iran's Press TV cites source
[+5] u/Naive-Suit3916: That's it for me today. Took profits. Don't be greedy, martin.
[+5] u/GooglySoft: MSFT is the most useless shit ever
[+29] u/caliwillbemine: -Israel bombs Lebanon “I didn’t hear no bell”
-Iran maintains strait closed
-Stonks: 📈📈📈📈🚀🚀🚀🚀🇺🇸📈📈🇺🇸🇺🇸🫡🫡🫡🚀📈
[+26] u/MetalliTooL: So the strait of Hormuz was opened, but actually not. And the deal didn’t include a ceasefire in Lebanon as a condition, but it sorta did. And Israel is in on the deal but not really.
Is there a fucking deal or not?
And if not, then why is the maker euphoric?
What do we not know?
Or is everything just regarded?
[+23] u/sm04d: Israel launched 100 attacks on Lebanon. Iran has reclosed the Strait and threatened to retaliate for the Israeli strikes. The ceasefire seems to be going well.
[+23] u/scottyjetpax: it's actually so crazy that the ceasefire seems to have immediately crumbled but the markets don't care at all LMFAO
[+21] u/Character_Pirate_152: LMAO is the ceasefire over already 😂
[+21] u/Spezalt4: Closing the strait is actually bullish
[+20] u/yushey__: I hate this shit. Fuckin dump
[+18] u/Specialist_Fig9458: YOUR GOD KING HAS RETURNED FROM HIS ONE WEEK REDDIT BAN. I HAVE LEARNED NOTHING AND WILL CONTINUE TO DUNK ON BESSENT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
[+17] u/John-AtlasGames: So I guess the ceasefire lasted long enough for two tankers to exit Hormuz. That should keep the price of oil down!
[+16] u/Glass_Item_4968: lol isreal just does not give a fuck
[+15] u/Boheed: lol US says Lebanon isn't part of the ceasefire agreement, Iran and Pakistan say that's very interesting because yes it is
[+15] u/spudbro00: absolute clown market. indexes up like 40% from last years low, basically flat year to date, with inflation soaring, 0 rate cuts, no jobs, oil at 100, and full blown wars going on.
The greatest ponzi scheme in history since the 2008 financial crisis bailout
[+15] u/Fast-Steak-7730: BREAKING: Israel was reportedly unhappy about the announcement and wasn’t consulted on the terms of the deal, per WSJ
[+15] u/StockB0Y: At this point the stock market is a just another world for e-transfer from your bank account to the elites
[+14] u/Fineous40: In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony bull’s calls. But because, I am enlightened by my ber intelligence
[+14] u/Moepenmoes: I'm so depressed lmao
[+13] u/OrionJohnson: Iran: I’m closing the strait again because Israel is attacking Lebanon.
SPY, Having a Party: I’m gonna pretend I don’t see that.
[+13] u/hv876: You buy calls at the bottom. I buy calls after 2.5% days. We are not the same.
[+13] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: Spy up, USD up, Oil up.
SOMEBODY IS A LIAR.
[+13] u/patmccock86: What the fuck is happening? It just keeps climbing despite everything about this deal being bullshit. Not a shred of resistance in sight
[+12] u/newtoeso: “BREAKING: Iran warns that it will withdraw from the ceasefire agreement if Israel continues attacks on Lebanon.
Just minutes ago, the White House told Axios that the ceasefire agreement does not include Lebanon.”
Wait wasn’t stopping strikes on Lebanon Iran’s “demand” or did I misread their awesome Concept of a peace plan?
[+12] u/Normal_Tap3021: SPY: we pumping
But..Ceasefire violation, strait still closed
SPY: I said we pumping
[+12] u/VellyJanta: Bull trap for Fed Notes
[+12] u/mikemechanics: Strait of Hawmuz is closed and market at ATH
[+12] u/leave_youself_behind: Bols are so delusional it hurts
[+11] u/Brief_Carpenter_7457: BREAKING: Iran warns that it will withdraw from the ceasefire agreement if Israel continues attacks on Lebanon.
Just minutes ago, the White House told Axios that the ceasefire agreement does not include Lebanon.
[+11] u/TheDiplomat82: News doesn't matter to this market. It gonna rip cause it wants to and that's all that matters I guess.
[+11] u/jeanswhiteshirt: you're gonna have to pry these puts from my cold dead hands
[+11] u/asetniop: SPY holding steady at 675 despite the "ceasefire" crumbling by the minute and the strait never having actually opened.
[+11] u/PinNo6026: So 🥭 thinks we're gonna partner with Iran for the straits toll? 🤣
[+11] u/its_probably_wine: Since it seems like this market doesn’t give two shits about ceasefires, violation of ceasefires, etc, etc - do we think CPI will actual do anything either or is this thing just immune to any news anymore?
[+11] u/TouchTipz: Iran: We need a nuke to stop Israel from constantly attacking
US: Give up your Uranium and Israel will stop attacking and we will drop sanctions on your oil
Iran: Promise?
US: Pinky Promise
Iran: Israel?
Israel: Errr yes, Pinky Promise 🤞
Iran: Okay. Here you go
Israel: Cool here’s another wave of attacks
Everyone: Shocked Pikachu face
[+11] u/codespyder: Strait reopened? Bullish
Strait closed again? Also bullish
[+11] u/Echochamberking: The moment Israel is in peace bibi goes to prison so there will be no peace
[+11] u/cheddarkittyy: Why we not dumping. Don’t get me wrong I’m holding long, but is this market a joke
[+11] u/StuffedBunss: Closing the strait is now bullish
[+11] u/Awake_Beast616: This market is utterly strangled
45 minutes stuck in a 50 cent range
[+11] u/Pikachumon25: I shorted SPY at $ 671.50. 🤡🤡🤡
[+10] u/Level_Counter3062: Believe it or not, USO longs
[+10] u/ChampionshipOdd947: Every bad thing that will happen from now until the end of time is priced in apparently
[+10] u/Boheed: but if Israel can't demolish Lebanon, Bibi will need to tell 1000 real estate developers to cancel their plans and that would make them very sad
[+10] u/Awake_Beast616: > Iranian navy source says only two oil tankers used the ceasefire to pass through the Strait of Hormuz before Israel violated the agreement. Strait now closed to all except Iranian ships and vessels coming from Iran. — [Al-Mayadeen](https://x.com/FaytuksNetwork/status/2041899829249351872)
[+10] u/A_Credo: - Iran still lobbing missiles at Gulf States
- Israel still bombing Lebanon
- Gulf States still bombing Iran
- Strait of Hormuz closed
Trump: This is the best ceasefire ever brokered. I should get a Nobel Prize for this
[+10] u/Think_Currency_8586: Down 1% on the year with highest oil in over a decade. No rate cuts, job market is shaky at best, inflation data totally lied about.
[+10] u/Inc0gnit0X: wait the strait is actually closed again.. wtf
[+10] u/plznodownvotes: So….are the oil traders not reacting to any fucking news about the Strait being closed and that rockets continue to fly?
[+10] u/BoostMobileGuy: I already negotiated the greatest peace deal with my Persian uber driver. Everything else you hear is not true!
[+10] u/AKOnDaTrack: Im big time bol, but puts here seem like a good gamble
[+9] u/McKoijion: > Michael: Give him a guarantee.
> Pam: A guarantee of what?
> Michael: Just say the word.
“Ceasefire”
[+9] u/SaiyanApe17: So the strait never opened, and has now been confirmed it is not being opened due to Israels attacks on Lebanon. So how did oil dump 10%?
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/world-news/2026/04/08/iran-war-latest-news-trump-us-ceasefire-strait-of-hormuz/
[+9] u/Wretched_Anon: Holy shit SPY volume is frozen right now just like the traffic in the strait
[+9] u/John-AtlasGames: Apparently at 1:00 PM, Leavitt will explain the differences between the points of the public peace plan that Iran has talked about and the secret points/plan that contains all the points of agreement but no one knows about it because it's secret. Not clear if Iran knows about it.
[+9] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: Beautiful day for FOMC to talk about raising rates LOL
[+9] u/Shoganai_Hito: Open the fuckin’ strait AGAIN you crazy bastards!
-after hours tweet
[+9] u/DebtOk4461: The golden age of manipulation is upon us.
[+9] u/Difficult-Ask2278: Hopefully Bibi says he’s sorry he got carried away and it’s time for peace and calls are safe 🥹
[+9] u/tracelistener: BREAKING: Israel has attacked Beirut again. #BREAKING Airstrikes reported in Tehran with air defense activity - Iran's Mehr. still watching my 0dte puts go to 0 somehow
[+9] u/Far-Requirement9180: The regard going from 10k to 100k in the front page should take a long break, but we all know how this ends lol
[+8] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: You think the markets care about reality? Nah ath based off of being in a worse spot than we were BUT not being in the worst possible spot
[+8] u/ShitStainStoop: When bers start switching to bols buy puts
[+8] u/GuyFaulks77: “Market heading back towards daily highs on last night’s news of ceasefire and opening of strait of Hormuz, as Iran currently ignores ceasefire and recloses the strait of Hormuz”
[+8] u/OsamaBagHolding: Has god abandoned us and left us with AI chatbots in her place?
[+8] u/Kash_5991: “Surely the gap will fill today” - ber
[+8] u/AutisticGayBear69: Let’s just call it fake news, plug our ears and go “la la la la”
[+8] u/TheKiMoChi2020: I should have sold this morning
[+8] u/Soy_tu_papi_: Someone just got really rich off Meta. That person was not me
[+8] u/analgape4206969: I was all ready to switch to calls until bombs started flying again today so i snagged some puts and what do you know the pump continues
[+8] u/gentlesandwich: Here's how you know we're still going up more: they are pumping this shit out of market hours so the degens can't hit 0dte lottery tickets.
[+8] u/mtol115: Ceasefire couldn’t last 24 hours lol
[+8] u/diskfreak3: What is this shit about Iran leaving ceasefire?
Lol
Not even 24 hours....
[+8] u/Excellent-Skill-4647: What goes up must come down
[+8] u/Christiano97: Market pumping all while ceasefire is already ignored and the strait is closed 😭😭😭
[+8] u/_IsNull: 2 weeks ago I got fked by meta naked put. This eeek I got fucked by selling calls. Fk.
[+8] u/Normal_Tap3021: META's new AI slop model pumping SPY to the moon. It'll bleed out slowly
[+8] u/Normal_Tap3021: is the strait open or is it closed? is there a ceasefire or not? who the fuck knows
[+7] u/SniXSniPe: This is your daily reminder that ber r fuk
[+7] u/GME_fan: This ceasefire won't last 2 days
[+7] u/nesnayu: Strait open - bullish. Strait closed - bullish. Straight bullshit
[+7] u/AlmostAsianJim: I’m tired hearing about the straights of Hormuz. What about the gays? What’s happening with the gays?
[+7] u/Awake_Beast616: It's been a long while since I've seen the algorithms this aggressive about ratchet-pinning the price action
[+7] u/Concept-Plastic: Ceasefire ended already? lmaoo
[+7] u/ManyManufacturer6090: So this isn’t going down for rest of day? Got it
[+7] u/boraboca: Big dogs used last hour for exit liquidity on retail. Glad I closed my calls this morning.
[+6] u/MRROSADOH: Flattest I’ve seen MSFT in months
[+6] u/Icy_Mood_3639: hormussy blocked again
[+6] u/GoldenAries4: Can’t tell if the market is building liquidity for a crazy downward move or if it’s just totally delusional.
[+6] u/Sekshual_Tyranosauce: Aaaaand it’s shut again.
[+5] u/Rosebunse: I'm not even against the idea of a ballroom or a full White House renovation, it just needs to go through the proper channels and inspections. But baby wants it all NOW even though a big reason it need renovations is because of how delicate of a building it is
[+41] u/orangeyougladiator: With inflation at 7.5%, you lose half your money in 9 years. The only way to outperform that consistently, that l have found, is crypto. Just this year
l've already lost half my money.
[+26] u/New_Internet_3965: These are legit evil people running our country holy shit. Straight up movie villains
[+20] u/New_Internet_3965: So the ceasefire is already over and the market is just going to ignore that? Crazy
[+17] u/Available_Cake_8572: wtf? Did Iran really just close to straight of Hormuz again?
[+17] u/abroadbroadband: Imagine being an oil tanker captain
_What if he tweets while I'm halfway through..._
😭
[+17] u/CasherburyTales: Israel just straight up always does whatever it wants hahaha
[+16] u/TheGeoGod: A Predicted Israel broke cease fire
[+16] u/BassFull0: Did crude oil crashed 40% on fake ceasefire lmao
[+15] u/isolated-cat: NETANYAHU: WE ARE READY TO WAR WITH IRAN AT ANY MOMENT
damn give this guy the peace prize
[+15] u/DarkoDokkan: Strait is closed and spy is green
[+15] u/_Wendig0_: Pakistani PM bought calls at close. Doesn't even speak English or Farsi, just nodding in agreement for both sides
#lmao 👐
[+14] u/Major-Bad-1203: Im genuinely confused. We pumped on a “2 week” ceasefire that didn’t last a day and they closed the straight again. Meanwhile we are still pumping on the “news” that clearly was BS?
[+14] u/AbrocomaNegative825: #HYUNDAI SHIPS REROUTED HORMUZ CLOSURE CONFIRMED
[+14] u/Hydrogen_Ion: The Strait is Clopen
[+14] u/ratfukabich: Bunch of spineless asslicking reporters lul
[+14] u/BlackKnightsOptions: You have to admit this is a little funny
[+13] u/swarthout2222: Soooooooo is USO just gonna pretend it’s all good bro?
[+13] u/Adorable_Librarian79: Holy shit.. they killed our guy Alfred Jazerra
[+13] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: **ALERT**: OIL GOING UP!!
[+13] u/isolated-cat: so much glazing. just suck his cock on air , that's the last thing left
[+13] u/Jealous_Archer_4522: BREAKING: Iran has suspended the passage of oil tankers through the Strait of Hormuz in response to Israeli strikes in Lebanon, the IRGC's Fars News reports. Earlier today, two oil tankers were able to transit the strait "with permission from Iran," Fars stated.
Well it was fun while it lasted.
[+13] u/Motley843: Wait is the Strait open or closed? I gotta pick up my dry cleaning?
[+13] u/Independent-Tree-985: That was noticeably worse than her usual performance
Shit must be getting real tense in the backrooms
[+12] u/ratbaby86: well, izreal just bombed another AJ journalist
[+12] u/AbrocomaNegative825: 📣📣 DONT SELL YOUR OIL ITS A TRICK📣📣
[+12] u/solidsneeze: Bibi and Karoline about to spin lies at the same time 🍿
[+12] u/FlattestPancake: Is she seriously 20 minutes late? Most likely having Netanyahu look over her script.
[+12] u/FinePerformance1046: Some generational bag holders will be made in the coming weeks
[+12] u/dinkmctip: Leavitt is 28 going on 50.
[+12] u/ratbaby86: lol there is NO deal, no agreement on points
[+12] u/slamtt: They know Iran is back on their bullshit
They just can’t tell you until 4:15 PM when options close
[+12] u/UnknownM007: Wouldn’t it be fun if a cyber attack hit Wall Street and all of the algos went offline for a day
[+11] u/Jagged_Tide: AP News:
Iran closes the Strait of Hormuz in response to Israeli attacks on Lebanon, per Iranian state media
[+11] u/CEO-of-SOXL: Deals off. Spy refuses to care shooting to $750.
[+11] u/EliteFortnite: bears dropping over Tehran right now....?
[+11] u/hamilton280P: The propaganda is not believable in the slightest
[+11] u/-medicalthrowaway-: I get the feeling this Caroline Leavitt lady might not be honest 🤔
[+11] u/thewaterb0yyyy: Cash gang bc I have no idea how to play this kangaroo market
[+11] u/thejourneymanfm2024: Can’t believe this is our reality😂
[+11] u/tylerleist44: Lying through her teeth to keep the market up, meanwhile Iran getting bombed as she speaks lol.
[+11] u/TacoInABag: SPY up 2.5% but MSFT only .75%. WTF
[+11] u/ratbaby86: “The conditions for a ceasefire between Iran and the United States are clear and explicit: America must choose either a ceasefire or the continuation of war through Israel; both cannot coexist,” Araghchi wrote on Telegram.
[+11] u/Zeppu: Iran should issue a statement calling it the Strait of Iran.
[+11] u/SolidAndEdgy: insider trading, but you don’t have the inside 🫵😭
[+11] u/kawkface: Iran just launch missiles at my house already pls
[+10] u/Independent-Tree-985: This market is just _begging_ to flush
[+10] u/imunfair: lol BBC has a couple posts talking about how Trump is upset about the leaked 10-point plans and is claiming it isn't what they were given. I bet he's just embarrassed that the public thinks he's a wuss for tacoing for two weeks over a plan so contrary to the demands he made.
> Just moments ago, a White House official confirmed that to me, saying that the "document being reported by media outlets is not the working framework".
>
> "We're not going to negotiate in public out of respect for the process," the official added.
>
> A second question I put to the White House - about whether Lebanon is including in the deal - went unanswered.
It would be real easy to prove it wasn't the real plan by showing us the ten points they actually presented that were called a good basis - but they won't because the leaked plans they're embarrassed by are exactly what they were given.
[+10] u/Largeshmarge: Press corps sounding like a bunch of sea lions at pier 39
[+10] u/kawkface: Gimme red candles now
[+10] u/AbrocomaNegative825: Tehran air defense systems back online
[+10] u/AbrocomaNegative825: The problem is no one can isreal on board. They want iran not to exist
[+10] u/LakeShowForLife24: Damn she’s only 28?!
[+10] u/shmito17: Hahaha, won't even answer who owns the Strait
[+10] u/Appropriate-Run-7490: So announce a ceasefire to calm the markets then ask Israel to blow their shit up. Brilliant
[+10] u/AbrocomaNegative825: 🚨🚨🚨HORMUZ CLOSED. RUG PULL IMINENT🚨🚨🚨
[+10] u/ratbaby86: antichrist mom is at the podium
[+10] u/Subject_Delay5447: Every side has a different version of the ceasefire at every moment. We might end up with more versions than there are genders in the US
[+10] u/DingleJingle_: You're better off going to a real casino. Less fraudulent than whatever this is.
[+10] u/poppadwarf: This is gonna go up into the close because it makes no logical sense.
[+10] u/kawkface: DRILL TEAM SIX
FUCKING ATTACK
[+10] u/CounterSignificant20: what a waste of time that was
[+9] u/Ragnaroknight: I can't believe how detached from reality Oil Futures are. What are they, $60 under physical oil prices now?
Feels like paper oil traders are desperate trying to buy time.
[+9] u/Grey-59throwaway: Starting to think my SPY 645 & 650 puts expiring today might be fucked
[+9] u/Majestic-Eggplant639: 100% this whole ceasefire thing is a distraction and they are going to "surprise attack" kharg island soon under the flag that Iran violated the ceasefire
[+9] u/killainvest: Hate to brag but I made $16 today…… suck it losers
[+9] u/L3GASEE: Market loves the lies lmao
[+9] u/shmito17: Sheer disgusting propaganda. How did you allow this America??
[+9] u/Emergency_Ad_9324: She looks like she is deteriorating fast for being in her 20s. Selling ur soul
[+8] u/itsboringhowwrongur: It will be China’s turn for a special 3 day military operation.
[+8] u/okbetokbetokbet: MMs would rather commit seppuku than pay out a few puts
[+8] u/Snoo23417: Unfortunately a 0.3% pullback is not going to save me from my ill-timed puts.
[+8] u/TaoTeCha: She's just straight up lying
[+8] u/kerrykingzgo-T: This lady said "straight of her moose"
[+8] u/Independent-Tree-985: This is basically playing roulette.
I can definitely get more thrills and chills on draftkings rn
[+8] u/Mnmsaregood: Meta negotiated the ceasefire with Iran
[+8] u/dmitrious: Breaking: 🥭 and the ayatollah make sweet love in the metaverse
[+8] u/klippklar: IRAN FM ON ISRAELI STRIKES ON LEBANON: BALL IS IN US COURT; WORLD WATCHING WHETHER US HONOURS ITS COMMITMENTS. US-IRAN CEASEFIRE TERMS CLEAR; US MUST CHOOSE BETWEEN CEASEFIRE OR CONTINUED WAR VIA ISRAEL - CANNOT HAVE BOTH
ISRAEL'S NETANYAHU: CEASEFIRE WITH IRAN DOES NOT INCLUDE HEZBOLLAH; ISRAEL WILL CONTINUE TO STRIKE THEM
A SENIOR AMERICAN OFFICIAL SAID THAT THE ISSUE OF CONTINUING THE FIGHTING IN LEBANON CAME UP DURING THE PHONE CALL BETWEEN PRESIDENT TRUMP AND PRIME MINISTER NETANYAHU LAST NIGHT, DURING WHICH TRUMP UPDATED ON THE CEASEFIRE WITH IRAN. NETANYAHU RAISED THE ISSUE OF LEBANON, AND TRUMP DID NOT EXPRESS OPPOSITION TO CONTINUING THE FIGHTING AGAINST HEZBOLLAH.
So... what will happen. Is Trump gonna double taco?
[+8] u/Good_Application6245: im beginning to think this market is completely fraudulent
[+8] u/violet_evergarden8: Claude is down and no one in my company makes a single PR since. We are so cooked.
[+8] u/Justhere4theupvotes: Nazi Barbie clearly had notes prepared for that first “question” by the new “journalist”.
[+8] u/Infinite-Anybody204: US stratotankers taking off from Israel towards Iran
[+7] u/zanimny17: Oil leveraged Is the way
[+7] u/Hot_Avocado_2701: Strait is closed again? But zero response from the market lol
[+7] u/Detail-Vegetable: Fake ceasefire falls apart. Strait closed. Calls!
[+7] u/YourCautionaryTale: Made a little bit of cash scalping Friday puts, then switched to daily calls and lost most of my gains.
Balls.
[+25] u/epyonxero: Q: As of today, who controls the Strait of Hormuz?
LEAVITT: We expect that the strait will be opened immediately
Q: Who controls the strait right now?
LEAVITT: \*refuses to answer\*
[+22] u/Democrazy_: Iran: here's a list of 10 demands
🥭: what no I didn't agree to that
Iran: we'll clench our strait again bitch
Israel: still bombing Lebanon
Market: goes up for no reason
Make it make sense.
[+20] u/bigjimsribs: Bahahahahahahahahaha 3% day in spy from a wish washy ceasefire, incredible
[+18] u/Iscratchmybutt: how is the market not tanking from the news lol
[+18] u/UsernameTaken_123: So none of the 3 countries know what they agreed to. Izreal says peacefire doesnt apply to them. Iran says Strait is closed. Press sec says strait is open. 🥭 says golden age
Wtf?
[+18] u/Fieryhotsauce: I can't keep up, so Israel just made the US look really stupid right?
[+18] u/soup4br3kfast: Let me get this straight. Market pumps 2% on ceasefire deal but doesnt move 12h later when ceasefire is shredded ?
[+16] u/lSazedl: so is Mango going to ignore the complete humiliation of the strait being closed less than 24 hours after his declared ceasefire? could see a late night truth post heating this thing back up
[+16] u/Repulsive_Safety_793: Iran is now halting all oil traffic through the strait
[+16] u/victoryboiiTCG: Iran holds all the leverage no reason to give in to any demands tbh
[+15] u/GuusMosco: So we pumped before yesterday because ceasefire was priced in, even tho Strait was closed. Then we pump on ceasefire, now we keep it up while Strait gets closed again and ceasefire is hanging by a thread. Makes sense.
[+15] u/JohanLiebert92: Karoline said on live television that the 10 point plan was thrown in the bin? wtf?
[+14] u/DressPrestigious7088: The level of manipulation we see in these markets is unprecedented.
[+14] u/Prince_Chunk: Straights closed again why is the market not reacting ?
[+14] u/victoryboiiTCG: Ceasefire is when everyone is still fighting right?
[+12] u/LumpyShock9656: Fucking fade everything into the close. Fuck you
[+12] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: “La La La 👉👂🙂👂👈, I don’t wanna hear about no ceasefire breaking down or attacks continuing. I just wanna pump.” - Market today
[+12] u/magneticpasta9: Gonna try the art of the deal on my boss just message.him he has until 8pm to give me a raise or I'll blow up Iran. I'll let you guys know how it goes
[+12] u/srnx: Israel doesn't care about your tendies
[+12] u/Anxious-Pear4200: Iran's Parliament Speaker Ghalibaf: A bilateral ceasefire or negotiations is unreasonable.
[+12] u/JPOW_Used_No_Lube: https://preview.redd.it/up4vri5gg0ug1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3dda5861bc5b8773e9777f7cd3112c75dc410c66
[+11] u/dylanx5150: Everyone claiming victory and this war isn't even over.
[+11] u/mtnrnnr802: You see that .09% green candle on MSFT? That’s from the one share I just bought.
[+11] u/TheCountEdmond: SPY is so ready to drill
[+11] u/Immediate-Coast-5066: Market is bullish but all news / facts are bearish - any chance it gets it try to pump
[+11] u/bigdaddyrongregs: If it makes you feel better, SPY is probably worth $13 when adjusting for inflation, dollar devaluation, and higher interest rates
[+11] u/poopieuser909: Iran says the ceasefire is violated
[+10] u/No-Illustrator-7537: IRAN'S PARLIAMENT SPEAKER SAYS IN SUCH SITUATION, A BILATERAL CEASEFIRE OR NEGOTIATIONS IS UNREASONABLE
[+10] u/Underhill0341: PLTR just like, fuck it i wanna die
[+10] u/epyonxero: "Who is bombing Iran right now?"
lol
[+10] u/OneLeggedJaguar: I wish I was smart enough to be a regular american who doesn’t follow the news
[+10] u/-Langhorne: Why we dropping? Did I buy the top?
[+10] u/PositiveToe2761: Switching from 0dte to 2dte minimum might of been a good change I should of done sooner
[+10] u/lSazedl: Dang, Israel might be the bad guy
[+10] u/Ecclesiastes510: They trying to keep market up with all their might
[+10] u/Practical_Corner8839: If it was the straight of Horbooze Hegseth would open it up immediately
[+10] u/DisgrunltedDan: Friday CPI gonna send this back to hell
[+10] u/JalapenoPeppr: Licked pure Canadian maple syrup out of my wife’s ass last night. Don’t care about my gains today, that is real winning.
[+10] u/Unique_username93_: Rate hikes are bullish?!?
[+9] u/Dr_Vibe_Check: Bears should double down on puts here
[+9] u/ThatGuyCalledEric: OPEN THE ~~CASINO~~ STRAIT
(I want my shitty RDDT to pump more)
[+9] u/WayDry848: Strait closed?
Bombing continues?
Mango signaling he's leaving NATO?
PUMP IT
[+9] u/Nemo-pluribus-unum: Things will get serious when a certain person calls them Uranians.
[+9] u/River_Sandhu: Yeah after listening to that this ceasefire will fall apart. Lebanon not being involved I feel is a dealbreaker for Iran. lol at her not being able to answer if Iran will be charging tolls too. Mess of a conference imo
[+9] u/Conrad3k: Schrödinger's Strait.
[+9] u/TFTisbetterthanLoL: This is the most obvious bull trap ever. As a bull, im OUT and loading up puts
[+9] u/BeepBoopDep: LOL 600 ODTE calls for meta are up 7500% 😂😂😂😂
[+8] u/haze_from_deadlock: The nice thing about holding MSFT is that the maximum loss is capped at 100%
[+8] u/Dismal_Conflict7922: Need karma help a regard out please
[+8] u/Cav829: Be honest: is anyone actually enjoying trading this market?
[+8] u/WarmCan3034: Msft losing all its gains from yesterdays pump is funny af 😂😂😂
[+8] u/Invisible_Pony: AI-brokered ceasefire will send market to the moon.
[+7] u/No-Paint-5726: We dump after all the puts expire. Because thats what Wallstreet has agreed on with the big boys imo.
[+7] u/mtnrnnr802: Did Zuck broker the peace deal?
[+6] u/PositiveEdge4361: This was all to create liquidity for yet another dump EOW
[+25] u/delicious_oppai: Ceasefire happening, spy up 2.5%. nvm it's cancelled, best I can do is shave off .25% 😂
[+15] u/Technical_Sea_5022: was today the craziest bull trap or nah
[+14] u/OK_Computer10101: Drill Team 6 - Report for Duty, and send these Fuckin’ Crazy Bastard Buls back to the Matadors!
[+12] u/RagingBearBull: i see the problem.
Iran wants nuclear weapons, the US wants to revitalize its manufacturing.
the solutions, iran get nuclear weapons only if they are American made.
this is called compromise and good for my war porfolio
[+12] u/protectthezen: Can’t wait for this generation to die off fam
[+12] u/-Ophidian-: Give bols time to understand that ceasefire is dead, they're a little slow
[+11] u/daisymoth9: less ships moved after the ceasefire than before lmao
[+11] u/The_Judgement_Nut: Just dump alteady you piece of shit
[+11] u/MrT_IDontFeelSoGood: I’m mainly impressed oil is pretty pinned to its current level through all this news
[+10] u/bosco2110: the dump we will experience overnight will be insane.
[+10] u/-Ophidian-: This is like everyone laughing after the earthquake thinking it's over while the tsunami wave is incoming
[+9] u/-Ophidian-: She has no idea wtf is going on
[+9] u/jefbak2: Bers waiting at the base of the cliff for bols to come flying over tomorrow.
[+9] u/495N: Remember Mango will have a press conference 30min before session close. He’s talking to the NATO head. Expect threats, end of civilizations, etc
[+9] u/Acceptable_Dirt69: Bers looking at the one millisecond chart on spy with a magnifying glass so they can announce a literal .00001% drop
[+7] u/HunterSwifty05: Just wait for the questions about Israel breaking the ceasefire and Saudi Arabia’s oil pipeline
[+7] u/NotRobotNFL: Market doesn’t care that the strait is closed or if ceasefire holds. Just wanna keep going up. Great I guess
[+7] u/Altair82: hold your puts boys
dump will come
[+6] u/bullishchilipepper10: BREAKING: IRAN HAS STRUCK TESLA
[+6] u/Senpai_Slime: Two 3% pump days between a bunch of green days with no red day between it, yeah no im calling shenanigans
[+23] u/No_Relief_8705: The myth of consensual "ceasefire"
🇺🇸: I consent
🇮🇷: I consent
🇮🇱: is there someone u forgot to ask??
[+20] u/nknk_3: Two weeks ceasefire but they never mentioned which two weeks
[+19] u/Mountain_Tune_7092: Fake ceasefire = greenest fucking day
Next day, ceasefire collapse, strait closed = barely a dip
[+19] u/Force_Hammer: How the market hasn't gone down with today's news is insane 🤣😭
[+18] u/Demonic_Maidens: Went from +13k to +225. FmL
[+18] u/nyse25: WHERE IS THE FUCKING TOMORROW THREAD
[+18] u/aa73gc: Bears: Runours of our death were greatly exaggerated
[+17] u/Metal-Water: I got a 9 percent raise on my salary
[+16] u/Necessary_Ad_9800: The obvious play is puts, therefor it’s calls.
[+16] u/Capable-Yak-8486: Peace talks failed. 🥭 lied again. Trying to withdraw from NATO. Record unemployment and gas crisis.
Spy + 3%
Yeah. This is fine.
[+15] u/Thotmas01: It stays high until the close today to fuck over yesterday’s puts. Today it dumps after hours to fuck over your calls.
[+15] u/Otherwise-Ad6670: Unironically I think puts is the way to go for tomorow, something seems fishy about this whole ceasefire and the way they bs about it
[+15] u/Damandalorianway: so we pump 2.5% on cease fire deal and stay flat when the ceasefire didn’t ever exist makes sense
[+15] u/A10cc: # MODS HAVING A GAY ORGY AND FORGOT TO POST NEW DAILY.
[+15] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: Reports:
Iran opened the strait for everyone except MSFT today
[+14] u/snaku6763: Imagine living in Lebanon, just to get killed because a Hesbolla guy had a zoom meeting in your local mcdonalds.
[+14] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: Vance: “We actually think we're seeing signs of the strait reopening. Oil prices have come down so I think the oil markets, the gas markets are seeing the same thing”
[+14] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: Aaand Vance just questioned Ghalibaf’s understanding of English
[+14] u/breakyourteethnow: Opened a $663 calendar, expecting market to react to Strait being closed. It hasn't.
Can we make algo trading illegal?
[+14] u/HaveTwoBananas: it's over, we're back, it's over, we're back
[+14] u/FeverTreeCloud: LOL
Iran 🇮🇷 says US violated cease fire agreement
[+13] u/ConstantAd1: The ceasefire was the money we lost on puts and calls along the way
[+13] u/alldawgsgotoheaven2: Dump in three minutes? Or is that just my tummy?
[+13] u/2020isgreat: Hopium making people think the ceasefire hasn't already been cooked lmao
[+13] u/NewlyOld31: Made 1300$ today and closed the app. Being greedy and not taking gains had me lose 20k these past 3 weeks. Here's to not going full regard.
[+13] u/Money_Essay7793: So bro created a war , lost it and the market went up. MMs dumbest people in the world
[+13] u/HMS--Beagle: im confused, why does the market not move in line with my personal beliefs and lunar projections?
[+13] u/Thotmas01: Alright it’s closed, you can react to this ceasefire falling apart now.
[+13] u/Independent_Drop4317: Tomorrow thread not up because there will be no tomorrow
[+13] u/Overall-Meeting1564: Congrats Bulls. You won today. Now the bears will take back control 🧸🧸
[+12] u/eloquentboot: Question: What is the point of the daily thread? Do people like talking into the void this much? It moves so fast nobody even interacts, it seems mentally ill.
[+12] u/itsnotshade: My bull case depends on Israel honoring the ceasefire and not provoking a response.
I probably have better odds betting on black at roulette.
[+12] u/Dxguy2001: Dip coming after hours right?
[+12] u/FinancialAnalyst250: Wild that a small country in the Middle East finds it more important to murder 250+ innocent civilians versus letting oil and fertilizers pass freely so the world can get out a global crisis, meanwhile the worlds strongest country can’t even control its “greatest ally” a small little country.
[+12] u/magmacannon: This story ain’t over. This is all I know.
[+12] u/A10cc: Imagine thinking this ceasefire is gonna hold LOL
[+12] u/zeusbox: Mods ceasefired new thread.
[+12] u/teh_herper: #This has got to be the fuckiest market ever lmao
[+12] u/Positive-Rise5145: I can smell the bers lurking
[+12] u/BrokenStonks: We're all winners I think because we learned a bit of geography from this war
[+11] u/Many_Perspective2594: Market effectively priced as there never was a war.
[+11] u/2020isgreat: the great ceasefire of April 7th
[+11] u/A10cc: # IS THIS A NEW RECORD FOR MODS NOT POSTING NEW DAILY?
[+11] u/Ok-Quote7365: sell all your puts. for real.
strait isn't open now only means - ANOTHER FUKING GREEN DILDO WHEN IT OPENED TOMORROW
[+11] u/FreonJunkie96: 40K portfolio swing today...
itsfine.jpg
[+10] u/North-bound: Make a cease fire -> Spy up 3%
Break a case fire -> Spy down 0.50%
Make a new cease fire -> Spy up 3%
etc. etc.
It's free money get in
[+10] u/TheDevilintheDark: Concepts of an after hours thread.
[+10] u/gavbot_1213: Fuck it, buying calls. I’ll put an end to this madness
[+10] u/A10cc: # MODS, STOP BEING LAZY CUCKS AND SET UP THE NEW DAILY. YA'LL BEING GAY AS FUCK.
[+10] u/GuwopGOAT: I bought spy puts at close. Easy money
[+10] u/CLYDEFR000G: Fidelity doesn’t let you buy 0DTE on SPY.
First real grievance I’ve had with their platform.
[+10] u/A10cc: Dinosaur juice creeping back up while shiny rocks creeping back down. HMMMMM........
[+10] u/Anonymustafar: Feels like a fake ass rally ngl but im staying out
[+9] u/Ben10pronouns: They pumped this shit up prob because we have shitty numbers tomorrow and Friday so the drop won't seem as bad
[+9] u/leshermes: MM: "thank yu cum again lil bols 🪤"
[+9] u/shindiggaa: MSFT is not a company
[+8] u/RetinalSmear: i understand it now, it was a ceasefire on the ceasfire
[+8] u/AgitatedJump8459: Oil actually creeping up again hehe
[+8] u/notmarduke: Lol, ignore the question. Tough retortic my ass. .dudes unhinged.