▶ Full Post Text
[+49] u/Bloomeyer: honestly can’t wait for this fuck to die
[+48] u/dingusmingus2222: Flat on total annihilation day. The retarded strength of this market is unmatched.
[+33] u/cashflow_: MODS HAVE UNTIL 8PM TO MAKE ME HEAD MOD. PRAISE BE TO JESUS (MY MEXICAN FRIEND)
[+28] u/Grey-59throwaway: There's no fucking way we ended green 💀
[+26] u/StraitOfHummus: Iran War recap:
Rubio: Sir, if we attack they will close the Strait of Hormuz
Mango: They don't have the balls to close the Strait of Hormuz
Hegseth: Sir, they just closed the Strait of Hormuz
Mango: OPEN THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ NOW INSHALLAH
Pakistan: PLEASE SIR, EXTEND YOUR DEADLINE
North Korea: If you use nukes, we use nukes!
[+23] u/According-Page8618: HOW THE FUCK DID WE CLOSE GREEN HAHAHAHAHAH
[+22] u/Cav829: For once, I'm not even going to try to make a joke and instead just say I hope everyone here is safe and nothing disastrous happens tonight.
[+20] u/RepulsiveMoney984: Trippled down on puts today, so hopefully closing them out at a 1billion% gain tomorrow after spy drops to 100$. And then ill wake up from my nap and apply to Wendy's
[+20] u/newtoeso: 🍊 turd probably begged Pakistan PM to say that so he can keep the insider trading going on for longer. Last year was tariffs, this year Iran. Who knows what he comes up for 2027
[+19] u/pacific_b: We are going to destroy 20% of the world’s population. Very few businesses will survive and there will be no power for 6-8 months.
Spy +0.5%
[+19] u/lolno: People are gonna be big mad when tomorrow is just another regular day lol
[+19] u/Major-Bad-1203: If you guys need proof the market is rigged here ya go. Ending almost even for the day. A day where 🥭 said he is going to wipe out a whole civilization. Cant make it up
[+17] u/vonnylai: Ending flat is comical
[+17] u/jay4281: Puts on civilization
[+16] u/triwyn: https://preview.redd.it/05pjuiixtttg1.jpeg?width=1246&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=237cb90c91362091639bcb2716e208b8ec071456
lauren mayberry and i about to be an item boys.
[+15] u/TomatoSpecialist6879: FUCK YOU
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
[+15] u/JohanLiebert92: disgusting day, fuck pakistan
[+14] u/Ok_Wealth_3433: SPY GREEN EOD WAS NOT A MEME
[+14] u/nyse25: # 4 HOURS REMAINING UNTIL THE ULTIMATE BUL V BER SHOWDOWN. BE HERE.
[+14] u/Grey-59throwaway: All that matters is that Isr*el doesn't want the war to end. I promise they don't give a fuck what Pakistan thinks.
[+13] u/Creative-Package6213: What a retarded fucking market this is...
[+13] u/yyn1999: OPEN THE FUCKING MARKET YOU CRAZY BASTARDS
[+13] u/NewDawn101: Bulls forming human shields around bridges in Iran to protect their calls
[+13] u/Comhiddabromo: https://preview.redd.it/wpyps312vttg1.png?width=804&format=png&auto=webp&s=766b1197500d35790da518441f2208233c5f7311
According to dominos we are cooked
[+12] u/borrokalaria: It finally occurred to me that Barron's online handle is AXIOS
[+12] u/ImLemonized: Donny threatens to wipe out Iran
SPY +0.08%
[+12] u/ukweeve: 'Pakistan made a request' is no more real than 'my dog ate my homework'.
[+12] u/delicious_oppai: Lol gotta love the headlines. Shit hits the fan, down 7% over 2 weeks. Rally 5% in hopes of deescalation over 5 days 😂🤣
[+11] u/MadHat0815: Honestly, why would Iran agree to this? the only real bargaining chip they have is causing massive economic damage by keeping the strait closed, and they know this. The longer it is closed the better the negotiating position
[+11] u/chadhindsley: Pakistani PM staying up to make an announcement before market close and his trades are in
[+11] u/Pazzaaaaaa: Iran just launched more missiles LOL
[+11] u/briballdo: I'll never forgive you Pakistan
[+10] u/winfortheboys: Breaking: Greta Thunberg is delivering the nukes to Iran on her flotilla
[+10] u/TaoTeCha: CRAYONS DOWN EVERYONE
[+10] u/Zestyclose-Bit271: Tens of billions of value added in 4 nanoseconds because the algos saw that Pakistan essentially said “Becky, chill”, can’t make this shit up
[+10] u/_pout_: Pakistan pumped our markets as a gesture of goodwill.
They're not talking with Iran and Iran isn't taking with us.
It's all diarrhea bukkake.
[+10] u/WingedScapula420: I think they asked Pakistan to give them an out.
[+9] u/JellyfishFestival: it would be just like this market to have like a 3% green day tomorrow on a brief ceasefire, and the Strait still blocked, as if that solves any of the other problems. but it creates a headline.
[+9] u/GMEThrowaway2: Well it closed flat. My comment from beginning of today came true:
“Everyone arguing calls or puts haven’t noticed the pattern. On the crazy days where we expect high volatility it stays largely flat and they take everyone’s money. Prediction; today can be an email and we will see the real action later in the week. It’s not fundamentals, it’s the big players printing free money”
[+9] u/UnivalveX: it's actually insane what ber has to go through. the sheer torment is agonizing
[+9] u/saw-it: Pakistan: "a whole civilization of bears will die today"
[+9] u/weewoowewoooo: Everyone knows this market is manipulated and rigged to shit but there’s nothing you can do about it LMAO
[+9] u/Axonum: 8 pm: "Negotiations are going very well. I am extending the deadline by another 2 weeks".
[+9] u/RussianRAF: another rally tomorrow because fuck it
[+9] u/SergeantThreat: The most fake part of Project Hail Mary was the countries of the world working together
[+9] u/WrexyWrex: This is real
[https://bsky.app/profile/brandonfriedman.bsky.social/post/3miwgbkwla223](https://bsky.app/profile/brandonfriedman.bsky.social/post/3miwgbkwla223)
this is nuts
[+8] u/Mcnuttey91: Kinda funny how this has just flown completely under the radar:
>Under the new rules, goods made almost entirely of aluminum, steel, or copper—think steel coils and aluminum sheets—will be subject to a 50% tariff on the full value of the item. Derivative products “substantially made” of those metals will now incur a 25% levy.
https://www.cato.org/blog/new-steel-aluminum-tariff-rules-further-increase-costs-whether-white-house-admits-it-or-not
[+8] u/TheStrat: Lmao the market believe trump will TACO this is hilarious. Everyone including the Iran and the market is calling his bluff
[+8] u/According-Page8618: spy green, vix green, oil green, gold green, btc green.. sus
[+8] u/pleasestoptalkin: WE CLOSED GREEN. MM’s officially trolling lmao
[+8] u/xXplainawesomeXx: All that movement just to end flat for today lmao money is so fake
[+8] u/Ok_Abbreviations8440: INSIDERS BUYING CALLS
[+8] u/Largeshmarge: Shaheed drone hit Reddit servers. Shit posting has been obliterated
[+8] u/callsonreddit: Imagine Donald said no to extension and SPY opens -3%
Imagine 🌈
[+8] u/Gom_KBull: # Didnt realize wsb daily thread had fission bomb experts LMAO
[+8] u/UnivalveX: at this point we've priced way beyond a taco. market's gonna need actual reopening of the strait to sustain a 6th green day
[+8] u/Most-Crazy2353: its all so fucking bullish for reasons unknown
[+8] u/ThermalChaser: Going to bed. Nothing ever happens.
[+8] u/LoathedOne: They nuked the reddit servers
[+8] u/Swimming-Cupcake7041: 4 hours until Mango uses the Death Star on Alderaan.
[+8] u/EntranceHaunting: Conspiracy time. Is it possible the US treasury goes broke because they've been shorting oil futures to buy SPY? Could they end up holding bags, covering shorts going to infinity?
[+8] u/DisgrunltedDan: 8pm est? Fuck that’s my bedtime
[+8] u/Far-Requirement9180: This maket is a fucking joke lol
[+7] u/Loud-Solution-6118: I'm going to lose money no matter what happens tonight, aren't I?
[+7] u/ChazHollywood: And it closes GREEN! LMAO
[+7] u/itseran: Who exactly are they negotiating with have they clarified that at any point
[+7] u/Historical_Hunt2492: LMAO did pakistan just catfish us?
[+7] u/VeryMercurial: 🌮 to Fox: can’t comment on heated negotiations.
WHO IS NEGOTIATING IF YOU’RE TALKING TO FOX
[+7] u/PROMlSED: It must be so infuriating to be a bear. Everything is shit and somehow it ended green LMAO
[+7] u/br0botic: Unprecedented levels of market manipulation from the most corrupt admin in history
[+7] u/shinigami_2245: How tf this shit end green?
[+7] u/fomoandyoloandnogrow: These AI algos need to be investigated, these last minute pumps are vicious market manipulation
[+7] u/PROMlSED: For once it is nice to not have 50% of my account in weekly options with overnight gap risk
[+7] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Just crash already. Enough of this back and forth dick tugging.
[+7] u/CunningPianist: >You broke Reddit
I DIDN'T DO SHIT!
[+7] u/ChewbaccaIsBear: \- if we get a taco we´re fucked as they will never open the straight ever again and end whatever fear they had of us
\- if we don´t taco we´re fucked
\- obvioulsy puts for tomorrow is the play
CALLS IT IS
[+7] u/H_o: No nukes this week. It's masters week.
Nukes start next week, calls till then
[+7] u/e30jawn: Pakistan goes from harboring Osama Bin Laden to pumping US markets. What a 180.
[+7] u/DoubleFamous5751: Market isn’t trading on Hard mode, it’s trading on 🥭 mode. Which is a difficulty level higher.
https://preview.redd.it/5sdmesgeuttg1.png?width=937&format=png&auto=webp&s=a5967678fa4af53b48a71e378cdb65935ec742eb
[+7] u/soscribbly: You want world peace? Nuke one specific country that starts with “I” and it ain’t Iran
[+7] u/Jacobpapi: Axios pakistan new:
Writed by Barak Ravid Barak Ravid @is a reporter and Middle East expert for Axios covering foreign policy and the 2024@ He also writes for Walla News in Isreal and is the author of " 🎺Peace."
isreal and 🎺really doing whatever it takes to keep the market green even iram hasnt said anything
[+7] u/Gom_KBull: Wild that a country of inbreds can have so much sway on US stonks
# ╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭
[^(KEEN TOCKY)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJOiIRuF0CA&t=4339s)
[+7] u/Late_Echo1453: 🫲🏻 Its YUUUGE 🫱🏻
[+7] u/Some1getmeablanket: Pizza Index is spiking a bit
[+7] u/derprondo: I'm just not playing. Oil is fucked no matter what. We TACO, oil crisis is still looming. He drops the bomb, well what good are these numbers on my screen anyway.
[+7] u/JellyfishFestival: The world's largest voting mechanism is so sure of TACO that it's willing to shrug off threats of WW3 possibly beginning tonight and Shrek the close.
That's how tough people really think he is when voting with their dollars.
[+6] u/peterpeer9: Ladies and gentlemen, we got 'em.
We got the bers
[+6] u/jmc774: 🥭's next tweet at 8pm: "🌮"
Spy opens at $700, oil crashes to $60. Ber civilization is annihilated
[+6] u/puts_every_day: Next time someone tells me the market is not manipulated, I will point out how today ended flat.
[+6] u/LaserBeamer17: PENCILS DOWN YOU SWINE
[+6] u/SomeDumbassSays: We threatened to erase a whole civilization today and the markets are so convinced we’ll have Taco Tuesday that we had a Green Day.
[+6] u/47_Puppies: There's no fucking way the US administration doesn't chicken out here. Anyone hoping for a fireworks show at 8 is going to be sorely disappointed
[+6] u/TomatoSpecialist6879: BREAKING: US strikes Reddit servers after Redditors kept calling 🥭 a chicken too many times in the last 24 hrs
[+6] u/Johnny_Menace: Anyone else’s Reddit acting up?
[+6] u/Amazing-Topic2827: Preparing for tomorrow when the worlds shittiest most selfish people aka WSB permabulls start talking about bers prayed for this to happen to save their puts.
I would rather be wrong, I don’t care at all about losing money today. No matter what the USA loses today, so why would I not make a financial hedge using puts? There is no good way out of this. But the talk has been unhinged. Members of the same party raising alarms. You all really think this is like WWE and all the background noise is to make the stock market more exciting? De Lu Lu
[+6] u/lithe_silhouette: Was about to finish green after being red all day then doubled down on puts and fucked it all up
[+6] u/edmundamore1: -15% tomorrow off that fake ass pump
[+6] u/bearhunter429: #Bers in disbelief LMAO🤌
[+6] u/yofisherman123: Robinhood automatically sold my SPY calls for $18 each ended up being worth $100 at close. What the fuck.
[+6] u/Detonate-Ralph: Doubt Iran is accepting any of this, a ceasefire would make them look like absolute clowns. That with reopening the strait no less
[+6] u/According-Page8618: man fucking trump spamming my phone every single ntofiication i get i think its either nuke or taco, either im up 20k tmrw or down 20k
[+6] u/ThickFerret1651: Anyone know why wiping out a civilization is bullish
[+6] u/infinitewaters107: Admit it. We’d be at spy 800 by now if we just retained the ice cream eater.
[+6] u/Ok-Analysis4121: Nah I don't think he's going to Taco this time y'all. After reading the E files, dude is obsessed with torture.
[+6] u/Chancey004: One minute we get that peace talks are going well, the next we get this headline from 30 seconds ago lmfao
MISSILES TARGET US DIPLOMATIC FACILITY NEAR BAGHDAD INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, SMOKE RISING - CITING SECURITY SOURCES
[+6] u/thai_sticky: Only 17 hours till open you filthy rats
[+6] u/saintmitchy: If you honestly believe he’s going to nuke iran instead of bombing important infrastructure like he said he would last week then you 100% belong here
[+6] u/pmotiveforce: Whatever you think is going to happen tonight, one thing is for sure.
You will be disappointed.
[+6] u/Soffatjockis: Everyone thinking postponing forever is bullish.
Bitch. That means the hormuz will be closed longer.
[+5] u/ResidentPack4103: Got molested by 0dte spx today
[+5] u/Such_Coin: Why didn't i propose a 2 week delay??
[+5] u/According-Page8618: random tuesday in march -2% into -2% friday after having 5 red weeks.
random day in april: +3%, into +1%, into -1,5% ending day green, into -1,5% ending day green after trump saying he will do a genocide in iran and bomb everything in 4 hours lol
[+5] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/quarterbackk made a bet that UVIX would go to 10.446 within **1 week** when it was 8.705 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 7 wins and 4 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+5] u/Spiritual-End7310: Incredible. No words
[+5] u/AgentBlackwell: Insane close, fuck your puts I guess
[+5] u/MrNewking: Nice pump to end the day green.
Totally not manipulated in any way.
[+5] u/ThermalChaser: Today never happened
[+5] u/Marshmallowmind2: This war is going to like an episode of lost. Tune in next week to find if truump extends the extension! Drag it out for 20 years
[+5] u/coalmine543: Went from +1000 to +3000 to -3000 to end the day +100
[+5] u/Ok_Wealth_3433: This is exactly what mango wants lol he has all the attention
[+5] u/Such_Coin: Alright- who bought otm spx calls an hour ago? Ill look for the dude with the lambo and a 10 on each side.
[+5] u/jasherer: well i voted for the black lady and got a war. I guess trump was right.
[+5] u/looool_k_libtard: What the fuck is even the point anymore lmao these markets are fucking manipulated for a select few
[+5] u/uno_novaterra: Am I regarded or whether he 🌮s or not, oil is still going through the roof, right?
[+5] u/Samjabr: In case you are wondering, Trump will shoot down their proposal, and the bombings will continue.
I told you this ages ago 🤷♂️
[+5] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: Smells like ber sharts in this chat.
[+5] u/jonneh: **Gf**: What do you want for dinner tonight?
#
**Me**: Anything but tacos
[+5] u/TreeofLibertyFood: I don’t normally drink on week nights, but……………………. Oh wait, yes I do.
[+5] u/WrexyWrex: NOW: B52 bombers are literally in the air on their way to Iran and hundreds of thousands of Iranians are in the streets waving flags and surrounding bridges & power plants. Difficult to imagine this has any precedent in modern warfare.
[https://bsky.app/profile/newseye.bsky.social/post/3miwk35elt227](https://bsky.app/profile/newseye.bsky.social/post/3miwk35elt227)
which pilot is bombing this crowd
it's not going to happen, the market will come down because of economics
[+5] u/Ridged_ChiPSS: Plot twist, 🥭 nukes the wrong country, SPY pumps 10% anyways
[+5] u/fire_alarmist: Bullish until the nukes drop.
[+5] u/ihopethisworksfornow: >Iran: Our only hope for survival is using oil prices as leverage
>The world: Woahhhhh bro chill out let’s just open up the oil and then I’m sure the U.S. and Israel will chill out
_______________________________
Fucking morons
[+5] u/Active_Contest717: BREAKING: Pakistan unleashes terror on gey bears by attempting to make a deal.
[+5] u/OkAlternative7705: I TOLD YOU FUCKERS WE CLOSE GREEN
[+5] u/wyudtix: Tomorrow we will see the biggest shrek’s cock of all time 🟩🟩🟩🟩. Bers are fuk
[+5] u/bearhunter429: #We actually closed green LMAO🤌
[+5] u/Comprehensive_Tea388: Will there even be a tomorrow?
[+5] u/Loan-Pickle: I think Iran stuck the Reddit servers again.
[+5] u/AbjectEmploy2385: I’d be getting off the bridge if I lived in Iran. B52’s are inbound.
🥭 🌮 for dinner or dessert?
[+5] u/JohanLiebert92: I don't see how Iran would open the Strait for 2 weeks as a "good will gesture"
I mean, Israel is still blowing their shit up. mango would have to tell Bibi to stop too
[+5] u/neatloaf_: I will be shorting my portfolio tomorrow
[+5] u/WSB-mods-are-: I've seen small businesses run services with a 99.9% uptime yet reddit manages to completely shit the bed once a week minimum
[+5] u/winfortheboys: Bulls and bears tonight last supper. Praise the Allah
[+5] u/ChewbaccaIsBear: **Reddit broken, I can´t watch notifications, this is to avoid comunications among the regards so that we can coordinate against the hedgies like we did in 2021, something big is happening**
[+5] u/unique_ptr: 90 peace deals in 90 days
[+5] u/StockB0Y: How tf does a company get bombed loose there ai servers and the stock doesn't go down is beyond me
[+5] u/nascarhero: Nothing wakes me up better in the morning than being overexposed to a possible black swan event
[+5] u/RansomeRandom: Oh thank god, we're back.
[+5] u/TinyAdhesiveness5773: man nukes are an evil invention
[+5] u/ToroLoco_TL: BREAKING: President Trump speaks to Fox News just minutes after Pakistan's request for a two-week extension on the US' 8 PM ET deadline.
Details include:
1. Trump refuses to comment on ongoing negotiations saying, “I can’t tell you, we’re in heated negotiations"
2. Trump declines to address Pakistan’s request for a 2-week extension
3. The White House confirmed Trump is aware of the proposal and said a response is coming soon
[+5] u/Commercial-District1: Pakistan …. The new Switzerland
[+5] u/mneymaker: It will be so funny till market open tomorrow:
\- Trump doesn't TACO: Bears SHIT-TALK FOR SO MANY SLEEPLESS HOURS till market opens
\- Trump TACOs: Bulls are back in business and SHIT-TALK THA FCK OUT OF ALL the bears while watching Oil futes dumbing 30%
LMAO IT WILL BE SO FUNNY TOO BAD I AM A EUROPOOR AND IMA BE SLEEPING :'(
[+5] u/Left_nostril_fetish: I've been trading long enough to know that when I feel like puts are literally free money, I should stay far away from buying puts
[+5] u/Secret_Purchase21: bruh the president has threatened to wipe an entire foreign civilization and the S&P is up 😂
[+42] u/financiallythriving: WHOLE CIVILIZATION WILL DIE IF NO DEAL IS MADE
*SPY CLOSES AT +0.03%*
[+31] u/TheMightySet69: There's zero chance that Mango didn't orchestrate Pakistan begging him to hold off on attacks. He needed a reason to TACO other than just being a giant pussy. Now he can say he did it to be nice to Pakistan and save face.
[+28] u/Jackfitton12: 🥭 threatening nuclear war.
Highest car Loan defaults in US Histroy.
Student loans defaulting all time high.
Largest amount of Layoffs in recent history.
Americans dipping into 401k savings just to buy food and gas.
Ground Beef per/Lb more expensive than minimum wage for the first time in history.
The Middle class disappearing.
The Stock market for some reason 📈 📈 ⬆️⬆️
[+27] u/ShopWhileHungry: " Because I respect Pakistan so bigly much, I'll extend the deadline by 2 weeks, this is really really really the final deadline" 🥭 🌮🤡
[+26] u/karlelzz011: All bers including me will go bankrupt before this rigged market dumps.
[+26] u/thrawnisahero: CNN: source says negotiations going great, good news soon
10 min later
Reports in Iran: 'A few minutes ago, Amir Kabir Petrochemical located in the Mahshahr Special Petrochemical Zone was attacked. 🔹Further information will be announced soon.'
[+25] u/Sharp-Direction-6894: I told you all yesterday that Iran had better accept a deal or else they face another deadline extension.
[+24] u/rollinhating: I have a feeling Mango called pakistan and asked for them to write that up..
[+23] u/trothechemist: Guess what retard is holding puts overnight on 🌮taco Tuesday 🙋🏻♀️🤡
[+23] u/LasyKuuga: It turns out the civilisation was WSB 😔
[+23] u/No_Fig_7835: 3 Months from now
7th DJT Deadline Approaches
Mexico asks for an extension of 2 weeks to the deadline.
Markets Soar.
[+22] u/DJ_LilSmoke: Shes a 10 but her strait is closed
[+21] u/AdditionalMany1292: It’s crazy how Japan raising its interest rates by .5% caused more turmoil in markets than this conflict
[+21] u/DefiantDelta: just absolutely incredible how every market-moving headline has come from Axios for weeks. nothing to see here
[+21] u/ConstantAd1: Is Pakistan even a real country, someone needs to check
[+21] u/BullReport: Can't wait to see what the market does when absolutely nothing happens in Iran...
[+19] u/Fluid_Jackfruit: Pakistan have never had a prime minister finish a full term…..in 80 years. Definitely seem like the guys to go to sort this all out.
[+19] u/OptionsHuduga: BREAKING: Iranian citizens sending thoughts and prayers to retarded msft bagholders.
[+17] u/mikeplaystennis: I feel like this Pakistan thing was pre planned. I regret selling this AM
[+17] u/zg44: Physical Oil in Europe is higher than 2022 prices now; up to $140-150 at the moment and bids are not getting met. Oil is literally drying up in terms of immediate availability in Europe; finally starting to see war's impact reach the physical market.
Financial markets are ignoring it and assuming war ends soon and true price is $30 less by next month on the forward contract.
At some point in the next week or two do we get a super spike on Europe Physical Spot Oil up to $200-ish due to lack of physical oil in Europe that triggers a wider market meltdown? That's really the biggest pain point and biggest bear case I can think of...
Of course maybe Trump TACOs the whole war and it does end today or this week or next.
[+17] u/---Right--Tackle---: Imagine holding puts during an oil crisis, a labour market on the brink of collapse, and a madman president threatening nuclear holocaust 🤡🤡🤡🤡
[+17] u/Sidney_Godsby: So pump at close on literally no news and further escalation?
lol got it
[+17] u/Crazy_Reporter_7516: Anyone who thinks a ceasefire deal is real I have a bridge to sell
[+17] u/Overall-Fold-9720: That's a wrap !
See you in 3 months when our ally has "irrefutable proof" that Iran is "days away" from getting nukes
[+17] u/Technicaltrades404: You have to be a genuine bitch boy to give an ultimatum and back out last second. Weakest leader of our time.
[+17] u/imunfair: Per BBC:
>Some authorities in Iran are encouraging Iranians to form "human chains" around power plants to deter threatened attacks from the United States.
> Iran's deputy minister of youth and sports Alireza Rahimi posted a statement on X, saying the "Human Chain of Iranian Youths for a Bright Tomorrow" campaign was held "across the country" today.
>
> Footaged shared by Iran's official Fars state news agency and verified by the BBC showed what it said was a "Human chain in front of the Kazerun combined cycle power plant".
>
> In a post on Telegram, an account for the Iranian government said: "Those who participated in this campaign unanimously condemned the American-Israeli aggression and declared their strong support for the country's armed and defence forces.
>
> "In this movement, young people across the country considered any attack on the country's infrastructure to be a war crime and condemned these actions with one single voice."
>
> In a separate post on X, Iran President Masoud Pezeshkian said that 14 million Iranians had signed up to "sacrifice their lives to defend Iran". Applicants can register by sending a text message to a designated phone number.
>
> Trump later slammed the reported use of human shields around physical infrastructure.
>
> **"Totally illegal," Trump told NBC News. "They’re not allowed to do that."**
Lol I love that little pout at the end, as if what he's doing is above board and them getting in the way of his bombing is an illegal game move.
[+16] u/awetfartruinedmylife: Trump asked Pakistani PM to ask Trump for a 2 weeks extension
[+16] u/trumpdiego: ##Ends up, they promised him 1 single Mango Tower to be the highest building in all of Tehran... and he just ended the war then and there. Like it never happened.
[+16] u/ajibtunes: Lol reddit just BANNED Rep. Ro Khanna on his Iive AMA
[+16] u/100xOrBust: I donated a lot of money to someone’s retirement fund today
[+16] u/Semi-CharmedKindaGuy: Guys my girlfriend broke up with me :(
[+16] u/spectra444: Bers are in absolute despair, disbelief, and anguish.
https://preview.redd.it/02uz2yztzttg1.jpeg?width=600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=121c708bf4e52b2e565dfe98cd3079e42836c942
[+16] u/dqdg: Pakistan must be loaded to gills with calls.
[+16] u/soyeahiknow: 3 hours until they bomb a foot bridge and called it a success.
[+16] u/KarmaIssues: World peace being brokered by Pakistan in a conflict between the US and Iran where Iran is not the one threatening to use a nuke.
This is the stupidest timeline.
[+16] u/mikeplaystennis: No chance a deal will be reached. Most likely outcome🥭 says talks are going well and extends deadline. Doubt he’s bombing tonight
[+16] u/jda823: A source has told CNN that a deal is expected to be closed between the US and Iran tonight.
I wonder if they will still make the B2s fly the whole way or not
[+15] u/StrangeInsanity: There is a ZERO! Zero! percent chance that Iran will open the straight for two weeks. That’ll be their strategic disaster on their part if they did.
[+15] u/ExoticDaikon1872: How would Iran even benefit from a 14-day ceasefire? xdd
''Sure, USA — we’ll open the Strait of Hormuz for you, you can stock up on oil, and in two weeks you can go right back to bombing us. Sounds great, guys''
[+15] u/Me-Regarded: Three hours until dick measuring contest begins.
Maybe women should be in charge???
[+15] u/Character_Pirate_152: As an American, i have to say that we elect extremely weird people to rule over us. Leaders who walked around with huge fake titties and gimp suits would be more normal than this shit.
[+15] u/Friendofabook: Clearly TACOing. He has directly lied over and over again before saying negotiations are underway when Iran is explicitly saying that there are no negotiations and they reject everything.
So he won't care what Iran will or won't do. He will use this Pakistan deal as a front to taco either way.
100% Taco.
[+15] u/leeuwvanvlaanderen: Iran can claim they held the US at bay, the US can claim they’ve defanged Iran, and in the end we all end up poorer and the IRGC is still in charge.
A war well worth fighting.
[+15] u/Emere59: Hear me out: what if they manufactured Pakistan begging for ceasefire for the insider trading in the last 30 minutes of the market and they still go on with the bombing?
[+15] u/SuffiecientSapian: Yall didn’t see Iran already denied that two week ceasefire? I’m hoping there’s a peaceful resolution but that needs to stop being mentioned
[+15] u/isolated-cat: bruh this fucking on again off again relationship is toxic. either end the fucking war or go all in
[+14] u/AbjectProcedure3589: I don’t understand why things are going up
[+14] u/PyloPower: There is just no way any of this would have happened if Rockstar released GTA6 in March like they fucking promises.
[+14] u/MissMatriarch: So, if he does taco..
Are we just going to ignore the fact that he threatened the lives of 1,12% of all of humanity, excluding the consequences of that action.
Absolute clown shoes
[+14] u/Difficult-Ask2278: If the market rips at least 2% tomorrow I’m going to get the Pakistani flag tattooed on my ass
[+14] u/MetalEnthusiast83: Alert: France has disappeared.
SPY +3.5%
[+14] u/alexmark002: Deadline is to calm the stock markets, in reality they never stop bombing each other.
[+14] u/ILove2LoseMoney: Even if we nuke Iran, Egypt, Paraguay and Moscow at this rate the market won’t drop a point
[+14] u/TinyDelegation: i stayed cash fuck all of that
[+14] u/Echochamberking: 2 possible outcomes tonight
Nuclear holocaust
I become rich
Both are acceptable
[+14] u/Character_Pirate_152: Iran would be suicidal to accept a deal.
[+14] u/Nervous-Basis-1707: *BREAKING* PAKISTANI PM TO MEDIA: “open bobs n vagene”.
[+14] u/Thotmas01: You guys think he’s cooking up a tweet rn?
[+14] u/poot-lover: BREAKING: Trump is aware of a country not involved in the conflict wanting peace! SPY +3%
[+14] u/Low_Plastic363: Oil down, gold up, bonds down, BTC up. Nobody is expecting civilization ending tonight.
[+13] u/RandomC6: Even if 🥭 TACOs it won't open the strait.
Both parties willl not agree to a deal tonight. And if the strait keeps being closed, it will push oil and inflation higher and higher, what is so hard to understand about it.
[+13] u/TraipseTraveller: God the Reddit app is aids
[+13] u/No_Relief_8705: In before he says he is pushing the deadline of power strikes back, but still bombing the hell out of them, and are very close to a ceasefire and strait opening. Market stays flat
[+13] u/TheMatinow: Lots of Iranian infrastructure on fire, must have been a wind
[+13] u/jamesjordisierra: Bulls, you Will lose even if a deal is made. If war ends today, no more taco news to distract the world from how fkd the economy is about to be
[+13] u/BigToe_Switchblade: 🥭 nervous, but on the surface, he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs 💣 but he keeps on forgetting 🤦
What he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud 📢
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out 🤫
He's chokin', how? Everybody's jokin' now
The clock's run out, time's up, over, TACO-COW 🌮 🐄
[+13] u/Spooky_Mulder27: I’m so glad I’m done trading options this market is fuggin stupid w 🥭
[+13] u/Ok-Piano8789: has the world ever been in a stupider situation?
[+13] u/NationalMedia8201: This why you buy puts and calls and come out with zero dollars in the end 🙂↔️🙂↔️😎
[+13] u/ArtisticFrame5790: I’m confused. Mango puts his demands on truth social. Then Pakistan puts their pleads on X. How do they see each others messages? Is there a third party app that connects them?
[+13] u/Technicaltrades404: Limited reopening? 😂 🥭is such a cuck.
[+13] u/Academic_Banana_5659: Deadline extension granted
+5%
Followed by a rug pull
-5%
Then escalation
-5%
Then de-escalation
+5%
Then deadline approaches
-5%
[+13] u/MuchAd3474: [https://www.aljazeera.com/news/liveblog/2026/4/7/iran-war-live-trump-warns-of-devastating-attacks-as-deal-deadline-nears](https://www.aljazeera.com/news/liveblog/2026/4/7/iran-war-live-trump-warns-of-devastating-attacks-as-deal-deadline-nears)
lmao tactical nuke
[+13] u/Available_Way_355: The US is negotiating with PAKISTAN meanwhile the proposals don’t even make it to the desk of the IRGC 🤣
[+13] u/Strange_Man: Relax nothing ever happens
[+13] u/NoxZ: He realised that saying "tariffs are on" tanked the market 1% but "tariffs are delayed!" pumped it 3%, and he got away with doing that for like 9 months. Now he'll do the same with this war. It's his infinite money glitch and the market is going along with it.
[+13] u/Warren_Buffets_Son: The comment section here be like, "HOLY SHIT! THE OIL IS CRASHING!!! IT WENT FROM $112 TO $110! WE ARE SO BACK."
Like, dude... Get a grip.
[+12] u/ruskyandrei: I don't buy it. Market just priced in like a 90% chance that proposal from pakistan gets accepted.
Iran opening the strait for 2 weeks ?
Trump and Israel not bombing anymore ?
Just like that.
Good luck, I don't see it happening.
[+12] u/Level_Counter3062: Bought puts at close, I'll either be rich tomorrow or this will be my accounts last comment
[+12] u/Nwah2112: Wow Pam Bondi literally called the exact top
[+12] u/Ancient_Let7878: Someone’s getting rugged tonight and it will probably be all of us
[+12] u/Interesting-Rub4482: PAKISTAN HAS ASKED FOR A 2 WEEK EXTENSION. I PROMISE THIS IT THE LAST TIME I EXTEND. THANK YOU PATRIOTS FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
[+12] u/Icommandyou: That reporter from axios has to be making millions on polymarket and in stocks options. Otherwise he is losing a once in a lifetime event of making generational wealth
[+12] u/Morocier: Bers really bout to be pissed WW3 didnt happen. LMAO
[+12] u/Micheal_Hancho: Oh, so now Tucker Carlson and Alex Jones want to get off the 🥭 train, right when things are getting interesting? 😂 They should sit back and enjoy the show they created
[+12] u/Bravadette: We have to do this for like 3 more years.
[+12] u/dreamer_Neet: Have collected more than 1000 bottle caps, I’m gonna be so rich in the fallout
[+12] u/AerieZealousideal330: *I'm sure two weeks of TACO will get us back to ATH. This market is just too insane.*
[+12] u/Available_Way_355: Iran extremists literally every week:we are winning we don’t want a ceasefire we won’t consider negotiations WSB permabulls: mortgage your house to buy calls grandma! They are at the negotiation table right now!
[+12] u/WisconsinGardener: I don't understand why people think Iran will make a deal. They've been funneling arms to Hamas and Hezbollah for years, and their leaders treat this as a holy war against Israel and the USA. They also have the strategic advantage with the Strait of Hormuz, and they probably don't care if a bunch of civilians are killed. I don't see them having any reason to concede or negotiate.
[+12] u/CreamyBehemoth: WSB is great, because if you’re in the wrong side of a trade, half the sub is cheering they’re right, the other half is calling you a regard.
and you? You’re just shame scrolling
[+12] u/mrsweettreats: Ah yes what wrench is Israel going to throw in tonight?
[+12] u/wattap: #BEAR EXTINCTION EVENT IMMINENT
[+12] u/Warren_Buffets_Son: Do you guys think Trump could say, "we haven't attacked Iran at 8:00 p.m. Eastern Time because... uh... because telling your enemy when you're coming is not a wise strategy. And I know about strategy, I really do. That's why we will attack Iran within the next 72 hours if they do not agree to our terms, this is non-negotiable and they will never see us coming! - YOU'VE BEEN WARNED."
Or something to that effect?
[+12] u/financiallythriving: Imagine the world on the brink of collapse in a couple of hours and spending your time in a gambling forum
[+11] u/Oneok-Field: Up 472% this week just buying calls when things dip in the morning
I'm pretty much still cash gang, just messing around with some fun money while waiting for an opening
[+11] u/---Right--Tackle---: Believe it or not, you lose money either way
[+11] u/Fast-Steak-7730: Iran will tweet “sike” then we plummet
[+11] u/TheScourgeOfHumanity: Calling every Papa John's in DC and cancelling a large order to manipulate the markets >>>>
[+11] u/Overall-Fold-9720: Next up : "this is Israel, and welcome to jackass"
[+11] u/Happy-Philosophy9211: This strait aint opening
[+11] u/Western-Pound-5372: They need to jail that Axios cuck
[+11] u/aa73gc: My pet lizard is monitoring the situation
[+11] u/moosewithamuffin: 🏅<— Fell for it again award.
[+11] u/eje0100: The only one that wants a deal is Trump. Israel and Iran want to battle till the end of time.
[+11] u/Cool-Run-245: Big money knows we not doing shit tonight
[+11] u/100xOrBust: Alright Mr bomb man, everything is closed. Tell us what the fuck is happening.
[+11] u/orsomeshitidk: Retard market. Glad Iran not gonna get nuked but $660 with this much ruined ME oil infrastructure wild as hell.
[+11] u/defordj: John Adams once said "I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce and agriculture in order to give their children a right to say nothing ever happens and then die of thyroid cancer."
[+11] u/RealPrinceZuko: Typical abuser:
"I don't want to hurt you"
"Why are you making me hurt you?"
Pathetic
[+11] u/tameimpala25: Ceasefire is in boys, tomorrow is going to be blood green
[+11] u/Haboubiii: —❗️🇺🇸/🇮🇷 NEW: ‘U.S. and Arab officials say talks are now centering around a deadline extension, not a ceasefire deal’ WSJ
[+10] u/MothRatten: 8:15pm we all get the emergency tone and "Ballistic missile threat, seek shelter immediately" on our phones.
SPX + 0.5% at open tomorrow.
[+10] u/Simple-Strength837: 3 min ago
Federal authorities say pro-Iran hackers breached U.S. infrastructure
The Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency, the FBI and the National Security Agency together issued the warning on Tuesday, reporting that hackers allied with Iran exploited vulnerabilities in internet-connected devices used to control machinery used in several important sectors.
[+10] u/csr8765: MSFT bag holders, don’t worry about what happens tonight. Your stock is going down tomorrow regardless
[+10] u/Successful-End7689: calls on civilization
[+10] u/collegefootballfan69: There is speculation that Kharg Island is the new Disney Theme Park
[+10] u/QuarkTheFerengi: I know I extend every deadline I set but I'm for reals this time guys...i swear to allah
[+10] u/bringkiteback: Some Iranian chicks are hot af can we medivac the hottest ones out first?
[+10] u/PinealTone: Should we even trust Pakistan.. the very country that hid Osama and feign innocence of not knowing.. lulz
[+10] u/SilverPrivateer: Greta Thunberg just arrived in Iran
[+10] u/Therecanbenopeace: I've got 3 minutes to bail.... or i'm stuck overnight.
[+10] u/pineapplekiwipen: if anything this pakistani PM deserves a fifa peace prize
[+10] u/MenagerieAlfred: He either tacos or 25th amendment…. Not a soul in the cabinet would discuss it until they do it.
[+10] u/wendysdumpstr: markets rallied off paki's begging iran to change their mind (when they already said no and they have 14 million iranians ready to die), while B52's left the UK, you bols really are exit liquidity
[+10] u/MaybeYesMayb: People saying mango will taco but what about Israel 🤨
[+10] u/Live_Paper8680: is it now a game of chicken over who announces agreement first
[+10] u/mrsweettreats: Last time I made a deal with a Pakistani on the phone I got scammed
Bearish
[+10] u/Correct_Mastodon1112: I’m guessing we won’t hear from 🥭 til futures open a 6. Easier to insider trade futures than stocks
[+10] u/ranib0: How is a ceasefire so priced in right now???? Like wtf, do we take for granted that any of the counterparts will accept??
I seem to not understand this market.
Anyways,
!banbet SPY 650 1D
[+10] u/Western-Pound-5372: Didn't Iran just reject a 48hr ceasefire like 4 days ago? Why would they agree to a 2-week one?
[+10] u/SomePolack: Bull thesis:
A deal is about to be reached but insiders only bought enough to pump 0.18%
[+10] u/hallett21: What if he just tweeted run fuckers lol.
[+10] u/2keyed: No way Iran accepts a ceasefire you guys are truly delusional
[+9] u/skychief99: So let me get this straight....... Some Pakistan douchebag says there should be a 2 week pause and the market rallies on that? You've got to be kidding me. Orange Peel is laughing his ass off right now.
[+9] u/DufflebagJoe: The Paki’s fucked me wow
[+9] u/Moepenmoes: Would be wild if he says "Allahu Akbar" right before the deadline
[+9] u/Diamondhands4dagainz: Regards on X saying that Iran agreed to the ceasefire offered by Pakistan lolz
[+9] u/YaLlegaHiperhumor: I had been recovering steadily from -$20k and I was already at -$17.5k when I saw the $QQQ $585 put creep up from $1.5 to $3. I had "jokingly" put an order for $18k at $1.2 but then saw this pump up continuously. Raised to $2: nothing, it went to $2.5. Raised to $2.75: it went to $3.25. Finally I got tired and bought 10 contracts at *market value*.
Filled at $3.48. Top of the day was $3.50 milliseconds later. I panic sold at $2.98. Lost $500. What should have been a positive day became a deep negative day.
Fuck my life
[+9] u/Bernardhops2: Open the Fucking Strait you CrAzY bAsTaRdS
[+9] u/isolated-cat: ARAK ALUMINIUM PLANT IN CENTRAL IRAN ATTACKED - SNN NEWS AGENCY
peace talks going well
[+9] u/WendyDumpsterFire: Polymarket Report: 84% of 2.5 Million Traders Lose Money
[+9] u/AphexPin: I'm so sick of TACO being treated as bullish. Any extension is BEARISH. I am about to be LIQUIDATED.
[+9] u/apurimac777: Al Jazeera the new CNBC
[+9] u/GuyFaulks77: Bears wiped out for the 5th day in a row
[+9] u/makhnosfork: Don’t tell anyone I said this but I think the system is rigged…
[+9] u/SoothingWafer: Earth: "Uh oh, things are looking pretty bad"
Earth: \*See's WSB calls on oil and puts on SPY\*
Earth: \*immediately reverses course, Iran is fine, oil goes to $70 a barrel\*
[+9] u/CursedClownz: Just buy all dips
Mango man is a coward and he will never follow through anything
[+9] u/aa73gc: This fucker has ruined tacos for me. I could never look at another one without thinking about him now
[+9] u/Czyzzle: We are about to see a 2 week ceasefire with Strait open and SPY up there with them astronauts eating tacos
[+9] u/Ok-Quote7365: If we extend 2 weeks, are SPY QQQ +5% or +10% this week?
[+9] u/Morocier: the worst part is nothing is gonna happen, maybe we blow up another halfway constructed bridge, and this shit is gonna drag out forever. the strait will be like halfway open, the world will adjust to a reduction in oil supply, markets will chop an you'll have blue balls and an everlasting feeling of unresolvedness
[+9] u/Ill-Expression1737: market does not want to go down
[+9] u/Thecreamcheeze: Finally deal reached. Strait will open. Sorry ber
[+9] u/soup4br3kfast: Bro if they follow through everyone will be blindsided haha. Taco is literally priced in
[+9] u/Lapidated_Llama: We’re not even 7% down from ATH on QQQ.
[+9] u/Mother-Bottle9962: i do not want trump to follow through with his threat but he will look like a coward if he goes for a 5th extension
[+9] u/i_simp_f: We should do Artemis II but with Marco Rubio but instead of looping around the moon he should sort of just keep going
[+9] u/PimpCforlife: 2.5hrs away boys and girls
[+9] u/ZedSwift: https://x.com/jeremyscahill/status/2041624677911818336?s=46
[+9] u/WallStreetBetsCALLSS: Bers 🫵must have forgotten the historical pump exactly one year ago
[+9] u/coolopinionlmao: where all my "i voted for this" homies at
[+9] u/CreamyBehemoth: Bers anxiously waiting to see their puts go from
-90% to -70%
[+9] u/Icommandyou: Is it just me or it’s crazy to rely on Pakistan of all countries like they were hiding bin Laden
[+9] u/Faburuss03: How many of you regards work at wendys and bought calls because of a report coming out of pakistan
[+9] u/DCrebuilds: They're already bombing
[+9] u/plannedgravy: No, genocide is bullish.
[+8] u/NewlyOld31: Why do I still have these shorts open? I'm going to get fucked, ironically, by a giant pussy.
[+8] u/redpillsbluepills: How many of you went to the gym today?
[+8] u/14BrewMan: I was once a bear, but fuck the market really does only go up. Threatening to end a civilastion and the market goes up? Bro wtf
[+8] u/ApathysLastKiss_: Imagine if we open flat tomorrow
[+8] u/Montyprice7206: After considering the two week ceasefire, I just confirmed that Bibi saw his shadow today. So 6 more weeks of war - 🥭
[+8] u/Whatevs56: The TACO is happening
[+8] u/VOO_bull_forever: # i sold at the bottom at 638 and went long puts. last year the exact thing. Why? Why always me? I am a disgrace and a deadbeat. I can't even look my better half into her eyes.... I am so ashamed of myself
[+8] u/RollofDuctTape: Iran is saying they’re going to keep bombing? Are we sure we’re talking to the right people?
[+8] u/Affectionate-Main352: genius!!, lock down the strait, keep bombing and make inflation higher while lie everyday to save the market from recession
[+8] u/Diamondhands4dagainz: Since when did Pakistan become a negotiator in all this lmao like wtf how is Pakistan even a relevant country in all this, has nothing to do with them
[+8] u/Provolone-Jones: Market appears to be assuming that the next taco will take us back in time to before oil and petrochemical infrastructure was bombed. Calls it is.
[+8] u/cryptohorn: I have 17k mcdonalds points
[+8] u/ElectronicShoulder26: if there is tomorrow
[+8] u/Worried_Quarter469: Need to rename thread to
“What are 🥭’s moves Tomorrow, April 08, 3026”
[+8] u/Capable_Pack3656: They said TACO, folks. They said, “Trump always chickens out.” Have you heard this? Terrible people, very nasty people. And now what happened? At the final hour, Iran came to the table and we got a beautiful peace deal. Beautiful. So I guess it’s not TACO anymore, maybe it’s **TANGO** \- Trump Always Negotiates Great Outcomes. I just came up with that. Very good. Very elegant.
The Strait is opening, the oil is flowing, our allies are safer, and America looks strong again. This could have been a disaster like the world has rarely seen, but because they knew I was serious - truly serious - they made the deal. That’s called peace through strength. The fake news said I’d blink. Instead, we got a historic win, a tremendous win, and frankly the people pushing TACO are looking very, very stupid tonight.
[+8] u/alfred250: “Options Profit Calculator” more like “How cooked are my puts visualizer”
[+8] u/iknowdemfeelsbro326: Isreal aint gonna stand for peace
[+8] u/NoodHigga69: Hi, I’m a pilot. On my way to your mom’s place for a quick poke and dropping the bombs in iran after that.
[+8] u/CEO-of-SOXL: Seeing pics on reddit of bombers in the sky above the UK
[+8] u/EnginrA: Why did we pump today
[+8] u/International_Bee653: Polymarket for ceasefire today is going crazy
[+8] u/EasySunday: CNN is reporting that "good news is expected soon"
[+8] u/MaybeYesMayb: Benjamin Netanyahu save my puts I repeat Benjamin Netanyahu save my puts 😂
[+8] u/Altruistic_Gap_8494: Let me see if I get this correctly. The market didn't do shit and kept going up regardless of his antics, pricing in a taco. But when he does eventually taco, the market would rally 2% on top? Damn.
[+8] u/ajibtunes: RIGHT NOW: 🇺🇸🇮🇷 US-Israeli missiles strike Iran's largest aluminum producer, Arak Aluminum Company (IRALCO).
[+8] u/qqeyes: tomorrow we’re either green or in a nuclear conflict let’s goooooooooooooo
[+8] u/tandoori_taco_cat: Staying out until mango is gone.
[+8] u/financiallythriving: I fucking love potatoes so much. You can put a loaded baked potato, french fries, and mashed potatoes in a single plate and I will eat it all
[+8] u/Red_Zone_Broly: TACOing out of a nuke is pretty much the last stage of TACO.
How do you out TACO that?
[+8] u/Foreigntragedy: corn could be up 5% and that dogshit mstr stock will still be red LMAO
[+8] u/OrdinaryMix4013: who the fuck would want a cease fire what the fuck
[+8] u/TickTockTaudit: The little hats are not going to be happy with another extension, a ceasefire, or a solution coming via Pakistan.
[+8] u/Scalpaholic: Good opportunity for Countries to get those WTI $110s before they become $200s next week.
[+8] u/dqdg: He is the worst bluffer. I would rob him blind in a poker game.
[+8] u/Zepcleanerfan: Just open the straits, bro seriously bro. I'm gonna be so mad, bro. Just seriously do it.Come on. Im gonna be so mad.
[+8] u/vanceraa: I need to stop listening to retards saying “X is freefalling” when it’s down like 1.5%
[+8] u/100xOrBust: It seems like everyone chanted taco but didn’t bet on the taco. Strange.
[+8] u/UsernameTaken_123: 1 year from now:
2-week deadline extended another 2-weeks in the last hour, in a deal mediated by the penguins on Greenland. Oil is 300 per barrel. SPX is 800.
[+8] u/shakazuluwithanoodle: He will extend tge deadline because Pakistan asked and he's nice or something
[+8] u/Iknowyougotsole: Bitcoin used to be banned when you typed it in so it turned into the corn emoji
[+7] u/ajibtunes: B52s are turning back , seen on the radar. It’s over.
[+7] u/Ragnaroknight: Market seems to really think he's gonna fold tonight.
[+7] u/SoothingWafer: People hoping a country is destroyed so they can make a few hundred bucks on the put they bought with their Wendy's behind the dumpster money.
[+7] u/CaaCCeo: Bro who tf is Pakistan
[+7] u/Wild_Boy_: this is ridiculous and i don’t understand how anyone think this is real
[+7] u/Micheal_Hancho: 🌮: I'm gonna go after the bridges and power plants.
🐻: NUKES! NUKES! HE'S GONNA USE NUKES!
[+7] u/PinealTone: SPY ytd -3% amidst ATH oil and an ongoing war conflict.. with 15% tarrifs (everyone forgot about it)
un fuckign believable lol
[+7] u/yushey__: I have so much fomo as cash gang
[+7] u/cobalt4: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+7] u/31andnotdone: and how is a 2 week delay good for oil? 🤔
[+7] u/redditdoesnotapprove: sold everything at the bottom today dont even care. i wont regret it either way.
[+7] u/poffa-: Pakistan police with sticks beating bers ass
[+7] u/Thotmas01: We blew up an Iranian aluminum refinery just now. That taco ain’t looking likely.
[+7] u/skychief99: I hope you're short going into tomorrow. Like effin dwarf midget short. Actually shorter.
Super micro penis short really.
[+7] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Countries already making direct deals with Iran to ship their oil. Mango only knows how to Taco so this thing keeps getting pushed out with fake deadlines until the world operates under the new normal, ni hao bitches.
[+7] u/aa73gc: People here just talking about nukes casually. Do you think China and Russia will just stand by idly?
[+7] u/Effective_Swan_6466: bombers already on their way
[+7] u/AcademicStandard3701: Throwing my phone in the freezer for the 10th time
[+7] u/Dull-Buy-2776: QQQ is only $3 below what is was post the last fed meeting and shit has only been worse since then
[+7] u/---Right--Tackle---: Huge lunch today, I got a tactical nuke in my pants that’s about to go off any minute. Ground troops gettin sent in for sure
[+7] u/Trashpanda7193: Truly marvellous work by mm’s today
[+7] u/Walking72: Mediators had been taking part in negotiations for a ceasefire deal, but Trump's latest threat to destroy Iran's "whole civilisation" has complicated efforts, the Wall Street Journal reports. An official said that Iran has now cut off communications with the US entirely.
[+7] u/Taj208: wishing everyone a happy and peaceful power plants and bridges day
[+7] u/D1finalboss: What’a time to be alive
[+7] u/Available_Way_355: Open the straight right now or I’ll extend the deadline by another week
THANK YOU for your attention to this matter
Glory/praise be to God/Allah
[+7] u/Threebridges2: Nothing ever happens
[+7] u/Harooooouuld: How did this sub go from 20 million to 3.2 million subscribers?
[+7] u/PicklePot83: Picked a hellva day to stop sniffing glue.
[+7] u/RockasaurusRex: Mr Beast's new video: "10,000 MARINES SPEND 30 DAYS ON KHARG ISLAND FOR $250,000"
[+7] u/Sufficient-Tie-8735: Pakistani call centres calling the White House right now
[+7] u/0H_MAMA: I guess i'm failing to understand what kind of "deal" could be made here that would leave Iran and 🐝🐝+🥭 happy. 🐝🐝+🥭 killed their leader(s) and threatened the rest of their population and also want them to give up the rest of any semblance of power they have. What do they even have to lose at this point.
[+7] u/Eddyrancid: 🥭 has such an easy out(edit: he could even semiplausibly say the threats moved negotiations forward), that could even be a path towards reopening the strait it makes me think he isn't gonna do it. As an American and a call holder I hope he does, but its like...why would he start behaving in a comprehensible way now
[+7] u/lendrickkvmvr: Okay got it. Never a single red day again
[+7] u/ShitStainStoop: Chats gonna go crazy in 3 hours
[+7] u/Ok_Cry7572: Someone bought $1.2M- 3dte $SPY 676 calls in after hours trading today
[+7] u/Unique_username93_: Welp. I shorted the 500 and went long on June oil.
[+7] u/renedotmac: Bought puts but I ain’t feeling too good about it
[+7] u/Jemmani22: 2 things to consider.
He loves using military obviously.
He also loves attention.
I think he's ok with negative attention now. Hopefully someone stops him.
Spy will be down 5% by morning if he isn't
[+7] u/JuliusCaesar121: You have to be a huge fucking moron to make threats you so obviously can't carry out
Iran already has nukes basically. They can hit every desalination plant in the region and send oil to $500 + kill millions of people with thirst
I don't think he understands the issue. What a fucking joke lol
[+7] u/Frosty-Pea-4577: Calls are way too obvious so I bought some, if we down 5% tmmr yall know who to blame
[+7] u/QuarkTheFerengi: all this so the elite could keep fucking kids
[+7] u/Available_Way_355: WSJ HEADLINE! Our very trustworthy source (unverified) who is a top advisor to the Iranian president (powerless) told us he reviewed the ceasefire plan for a whole 90 seconds before throwing it in the trash (spy +2%)
[+7] u/FullCopy: The whole civilization of NVDA bers was destroyed at close today.
[+7] u/Bright-Revolution496: Hete Pegseth, supreme ass kisser, absolute nepo bafoon
[+7] u/Only-Cranberry-4502: War is so dumb cuz imagine working your whole life and providing your family and kids while hoping the best for them and then losing them because some old people can’t get along
I know it’s not that simple still though
[+7] u/doolydelicious: I sold everything tonight. Sitting on cash.
[+7] u/myboywears: Actual Taco Tuesday, TACO, Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day all wrapped up in one, in Iran!
[+7] u/Moepenmoes: Could we reduce the deadline instead? As a Europoor I have a hard time staying awake until 2 AM, I need to wake up early for my slave job tomorrow :(
[+7] u/Upstairs_Ad9586: the fact that there is some pakistan proposal means there is nothing else
[+7] u/WideZookeepergame775: What’s the best way to live track the news. Not some bs but actual minute to minute updates
[+7] u/ShitStainStoop: Imagine setting a deadline then negotiating to extend the deadline
[+7] u/0H_MAMA: This chat is reading like it went up 16% today, not 0.16% including after hours
[+7] u/aegiroth: not gonna be a popular statement, but if vance becomes president after a mango impeachment, the markets will
rip to shades of green we’ve never seen
[+7] u/Thecreamcheeze: Wow oil dripping like a rock Jesus
[+7] u/Competitive_Ride: Bears: want war mongering and market crashes
Bulls: want peace and everyone making money
[+7] u/glutathionegod: You think 🥭’s having a cortisol spike rn?
[+7] u/Bright-Revolution496: Imagine a wildcard: a timely heart attack, and the world rejoicing.
[+7] u/jerm2z: Concept of a notion of a view of an impression of a structure of a design of an idea of a deal
[+7] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: This market is honestly regarded. We're gonna pump to higher than where we were when the war started and then rip to ATHs when a ceasefire is announced. Methinks market goes euphoric until SPY 800 and then 2021 style crash.
[+7] u/Fun-Choices: “I could shoot someone on fifth Avenue and people would still vote for me”
[+6] u/MadSkyGlider: A country who’s gdp is probably less than 5 percent of stock market just pumped us 1 percent 🤣🤌🤌🤯
[+6] u/VincenteThomp: 7:58 is gonna roll around and we’re gonna get another bullshit excuse as to why he 🌮’s.
[+6] u/CallsOrPutsYES: As Mr Buffett would say “So bring me two pina coladas, one for each hand,
Let's set sail with Captain Morgan and never leave dry land,
Troubles I forgot 'em, I buried 'em in the sand.”
[+6] u/KevinWarshNudes: Dow is at 50,000 why are you asking questions?
[+6] u/thenelston: spy 660 in afterhours, tacos coming
[+6] u/Excellent_Row8297: SEASON TWO OF THE MANGO SHOW IS WILD. WHAT DO THE WRITERS HAVE IN STORE FOR TONIGHT’S EPISODE
[+6] u/Liquidtears: ok so they've got ***human shields*** around the power plants?
[+6] u/emergencyexit: Of course Iran wants another two weeks of tolls and no one ass blasting them to the stone age
[+6] u/ahx3000: Whys everyone talking about Pakistan?
[+6] u/WendyDumpsterFire: If a asteroid hit earth the Dow will jump to 50,000
[+6] u/Due-Dirt-8428: Do you think there are any parents in Iran who didn’t bother cleaning their house up tonight just incase lol
[+6] u/WillasTyrell: wait we finished green? LMAO
[+6] u/CATLLM: We are at a turning point where other countries are getting involved. Other countries getting involved to negotiate peace will let moongo save face, back out if the war and still call it a “win”. War is ending soon.
Classic “stop holding me back bro” but standing in place moment.
[+6] u/Diamondhands4dagainz: Pakistan wow lol. Came out of nowhere. 100% they had calls and this is absolute manipulation lol, this is insane.
[+6] u/Common_Ad_3059: 660 spy? At 8pm 🥭: nah lets bomb them
[+6] u/Kind_Initiative_7567: Who bought puts at close ? Cmon don’t be shy.
[+6] u/Money-Will-1867: Today is actually worst than last Monday. I don’t see any reason we green today fk
[+6] u/any-any_202: This will all be a nothing burger
[+6] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: IRGC: Iran’s armed forces will act in a way against the infrastructure of the United States and its allies that will deprive them of the region’s oil and gas for years, and force them to withdraw from the region.
[+6] u/mikeplaystennis: BREAKING via Axios- Donald Trump has just announced that the deadline for the release of his monthly cognitive test is now and he has passed a very hard test with flying colors. It’s a very hard test as well.
[+6] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: this is how orange works: stuff works, destroy the stuff that works, taco(but try to look tuff), stuff starts to work again only shittier. this iran thing will be soon over once orange gets bored, then he will claim victory like he always does and moves to another topic, cuba or something. his base will eat it up obviously
[+6] u/Unique_Zucchini1041: Bro fucken just blow it up or leave this is stupid as fuck, feel like all this is just more and more manipulation to fuck around with the market and make taco and his buddies rich
[+6] u/IDFStrongestSoldier: Bears thinking Trump will end a civilization in 3 hours 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
[+6] u/Successful-End7689: Markets straight up have a boner for a 5% day.
It seems like we are headed for that tomorrow
[+6] u/Independent_Term5790: Pizza index is pointing to bad things happening
[+6] u/Overall-Fold-9720: A petrochemical and an aluminum factory report just attacked
Right after saying we give an extension
Damn, looks like we are learning from someone there
[+6] u/ClueLessWits: heated negotiations lol
just fucking TACO already
[+6] u/Unhedged-Fund: bers in denial 😂😂 don't forget to short more before we pump +2%
[+6] u/Bright-Revolution496: Bears are absolutely bleeding out their eyes rn
[+6] u/AMCorBUST2021: It’s not a nuclear bomb btw
The target will be Bushehr and it will be similar to three mile (5 mile nuclear radius) or Chernobyl (19 mile nuclear radius). Russia pulled all their personnel last weekend and there have been several test bomb runs.
[+6] u/A10cc: Imagine flying to the moon and thanking god instead of the engineers and scientists that made that flight possible LMAO.
[+6] u/No-Lettuce3564: If he doesn’t commit, then he lost all credibility. Send the missles pussy.
[+6] u/CEO-of-SOXL: Thought my wife was joking when she said we’re having tacos tonight
[+6] u/Rosebunse: I just heard that Starbucks might be bringing back the s'mores frappucino so, like, we need to survive the next few days.
[+6] u/eje0100: Aluminium plant in central Iran attacked
[+6] u/Wonderful-Form-6422: AJENews:
"Trump 'aware' of Pakistan's two-week Iran deal extension proposal, response 'will come', White House official says" response will come doesn't sound ominously at all
[+6] u/FuelHappy1660: I sold everything in my Roth
If this is a TACO I deserve a Nobel peace prize
[+6] u/Thebaxxxx: I just want to marrey an iranian princess 🫠
[+6] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: I may have saved the world with USO call spreads
[+6] u/Waste-Head7963: Tesla news tomorrow. Elon timing good Tesla news after taco.
JP Morgan definitely bought the dip. Let’s be real.
[+6] u/Noddite: He just posted like 100 endorsements of regional elections, going to be bored as hell and want to blow something up
[+6] u/Thotmas01: So a mixed bag. An unnamed regional source says a deal is expected tonight but attacks are ongoing against the Iranian industrial base. How much do we trust that source?
[+6] u/PinealTone: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+6] u/Ok_Cry7572: Vix up 6% today on spy flat
[+6] u/AstronautPossible374: How does this affect my 7x reverse inverse leveraged bitcoin etf?
[+6] u/Leather_Floor8725: Bear don’t seem to understand that Axios can find someone in the Middle East to say a deal is coming soon every single day? This market can’t drop anymore
[+6] u/telamenais: We’re selling right? Boutta drop back to 630 on spy in the next 2 weeks watch
[+6] u/poffa-: Eurorich oil shitting itself
[+6] u/Threebridges2: Trump delaying for the additional Marine expeditionary amphibious landing unit to arrive from San Diego, it’s still 10-14 days out.
[+6] u/Bright-Revolution496: Insane fuckin rally coming tomorrow. All this fear edging has the bulls chomping at the bit. Bears, best prep them holes.
[+6] u/ArtisticFrame5790: I thought we were trying to negotiate with Iran? Are we now negotiating with Pakistan? Or can anyone with an X account just post these requests?
[+6] u/barkwoofgrrr: If the straight is still shut and 🥭 just keeps saying two weeks over and over that just giving more time for the oil market to be fucked. I still prefer the 🌮 in this situation
[+6] u/Venice_LA: we all know how this ends. a bunch of posturing before a deal, nothing changes. market rips
[+6] u/Big-Quote4483: sometimes i just want to punch a god damn wall MSFT has literally fucked over my mental health. fucking pos stock should be delisted for good
[+6] u/Mr_Madrass: Mango has the same power as a 4th grade bullie
[+6] u/Overall-Fold-9720: If there is a ceasefire, I guess Lebanon gets its land back, **RIGHT ?**
[+6] u/NewlyOld31: Deal will be closed before futures open again. Fucking corruption is incredible
[+6] u/Disastrous_Battle_14: How does everyone keep falling for it
[+6] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: It's funny, you can tell the most dreadful thing to both the bers and bols is for some minor skirmish to happen tonight, with another deadline made for next week. And the market stays range bound and uncertain.
An all out invasion or n u k k e s is preferable to a slow, drawn out tit for tat. Imagine that
[+6] u/-IQ200: I shouldn’t be upset because I had a green day, but the 1350% calls on my watchlist has me grieving.
[+6] u/Bright-Revolution496: Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, this whole thing just blowing over.
[+6] u/ResolutionAny8159: In what world is today a Green Day
[+6] u/PalsRocksMyWorld: Oh lawd ANOTHER 2 week TACO. Jesus. I kind of wish he’d just give his fuckin’ balls a tug and do what he says he’s gonna do.
[+6] u/Bright-Revolution496: I want an Ewok-style celebration when this whole thing blows over and my portfolio booms
[+6] u/ProudPeak3570: went from pro peace ticket to a whole civilization will die tonight real quick
[+6] u/AdOk3638: Tacoman, the destroyer of bers. LMAO 🤌
[+6] u/eje0100: So we are just going to keep doing 2 week extensions till 2030...
[+6] u/Ok_Passage7069: Fuck it I get tacos tonight
[+6] u/crossdefaults: The menu's back on the menu, boys
[+6] u/corporalboobs: My fuck I’m so stupid I bought SPY puts to $653 expiring tomorrow thinking 🌮 wouldn’t taco. QQQ puts expiring Friday to $563.
Does anyone want fries with their frosty?
[+6] u/Fast-Steak-7730: Watch him address the fake headlines and they nuke
[+6] u/MeeseShoop: I didn’t eat all day in anticipation of tonight’s taco feast
[+6] u/Strangerdanger8812: Wife wants to go through my phone... you guys tell her im super straight
[+6] u/ajibtunes: JUST IN: 🇮🇱🇮🇷 Israel believes it is too early for a ceasefire with Iran and wants the war to continue for at least another month.
[+6] u/Maximum-Side-9391: Because you used to not be able to say bitcoin
[+6] u/Altair82: bers are busy cryin tbf
[+6] u/NOMADGRUBS: Your mom takes 3 countries
[+6] u/Thoughtful_Tortoise: He was talking about bers
[+5] u/Low_Plastic363: That's what is going to happen. We launch some attacks so we can say we followed through but then we immediately turn the temperature down and say it is a taste of what is to come if they don't open the strait fully by \[insert new TACO date\].
[+5] u/lessoninprogress: You know what, that’s on me. My bad for thinking wiping out a civilization was bearish. What the fuck was I thinking
[+5] u/AideApprehensive7441: 🥭 will take the off-ramp unfortunately Iran doesn’t give a fuck and will continue to do what they will
[+5] u/Spiritual_Taste_1253: Didn’t play a position this time, Up 80% since the conflict start, I’m not throwing it away for a market that moves off tweets
[+5] u/Jupitersd2017: My moves tomorrow are to go to the range and let some anger out on the paper targets I think
[+5] u/Liquidtears: So a civilisation is going to be gone and spy is green?
[+5] u/jnas_19: pretty similar to Tariff situation honestly. Permabears wanted Trump to never back down on suicidal actions that'll obviously be suicide for the global economy. With that and midterms coming up now it'd make a lot of sense to fold here
[+5] u/whitewashedsyrian: Stop edging us and taco already
[+5] u/Cutalana: Pakistans flag is green, is this a potential sign??
[+5] u/Only-Cranberry-4502: Pizza index at 140% right now from dominoes
[+5] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: 🥭will just close markets if things go bad so it can't go down lol
[+5] u/know_u_irl: Calls was the play, if WWIII starts nothing matters anyway
[+5] u/DLD1123: 8 PM today feels like the new year count down. Except not happy or celebratory. I still will probably be counting down with my family at 759 like it’s the ball dropping. From my basement with some stashed food and water just in case. 10. 9. 8. 7…
[+5] u/NazgulSandwich: 4 monitors 4 windows tiled on each for 16x situation monitoring. Im fucking dialed
[+5] u/FickleMeasurement627: All you hoping this changes anything. It doesn’t. Pakistan is not Iran. The deadline is for Iran and them specifically.
[+5] u/PretendAgency2702: What the fuck is 2 weeks going to do? Fucker is just kicking the can down the road. Either go in with boots on the ground and win or accept that Iran kicked your ass and leave
[+5] u/Western-Pound-5372: Per CNN: A regional source said “some good news is expected from both sides soon” and that discussions were steered directly by Pakistan’s army chief, Field Marshal Asim Munir. The source added that a deal is expected to be closed tonight.
[+5] u/kantargi: 10 Min to Taco post.
[+5] u/14BrewMan: Well we are already hitting their infrastructure. Aluminum factory and a Petrochemical plant. I guess were going through with it. Fuck, going to a elimate a civilisation. The fallout from this will be insane. Calls it is.
[+5] u/ChickenYip: Bibi will not be happy with you 🥭 !
[+5] u/Stack_Johnson: This whore moose is a real pain in the ass
[+5] u/DrSigns: It’s going to pump tonight
[+5] u/QuantrixQuintrix: it's 5pm.
im going to guess the strait ain't open
[+5] u/hallett21: My boy Shrek is hung like Sadam
[+5] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: The new photos from Artemis II are incredible
[+5] u/IHaveInflatableShoes: Yall gotta watch 10 hrs of Michael Jackson noises on YouTube
[+5] u/OptionsHuduga: WSB is still learning / processing the fact that Pakistan is not a city in Iran.
[+5] u/PaxDev: Chat so mixed, I don’t know who to bet against
[+5] u/Walking72: *Hold your mouth for the war*
Pantera
Vulgar display of power
1992
[+5] u/PlayFree_Bird: Closed my April 10 $135 USO puts right before close.
Bought them yesterday afternoon for 4.40 and sold for 5.50. Took the gain while I had it, even if we get a TACO and oil drops more. I don't have the nerve to short oil while Trump has gone full Mad King.
[+5] u/ai___________: Nobody has any fucking clue?
[+5] u/ManBearPig_1983: https://preview.redd.it/ynjd6exvtttg1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=83dde41e598a89bd9a0d133525c90a1390ee877f
[+5] u/trumpdiego: how tf did Pakistan get nukes anyways and how do we trust them with nukes but nobody else? like okay, this will be hte last time we let a third world country get these things, but you guys are the last ones ok?!?! promise to never use okay?!?! especially against your neighbors whom you vehemently hate over the most trivial things okay!?!?
[+5] u/shasta747: SPY and VIX pumping at the same time is wild
[+5] u/This-Marzipan-5557: Russian source: The Houthis will close the Bab al-Mandeb Strait in the coming hours.
[+5] u/ArtisticFrame5790: Randomly in Paris on vacation. Went to this cookie shop and talk to this overweight white woman from Minnesota. Starts whispering asking if I’ve seen the news. Tells me she has high ranking friends in military. 3 have confirmed to her that mango and others are on Air Force 1 heading to Denver. Not sure if she actually knows something or just spewing crazy but I feel obligated to share. I’m on vacation until tomorrow so mostly ignoring my port
[+5] u/drtywater: There is something really broken in oil pricing atm. Physical oil is trading near $150 USD for spot in Europe and Asia yet WTI is down today on futures to $112.
[+5] u/Phandomtrigger: Renaming my Mag 7 Watchlist to Bag 7
[+5] u/Effective_Swan_6466: b2 bombers already on their way.
[+5] u/Difficult-Ask2278: Mr. Crazy Bastard, tear open that fuckin’ strait!
[+5] u/aniote: green by end of world, ban me if wrong
[+5] u/Overall-Fold-9720: So we still doing the "framework of a deal" thing on Tuesdays ?
[+5] u/jackattack222: Im just here for the crayons
[+5] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: nothing ever happens
[+5] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: orange casually talking about eradicating a whole civillization, yeah he gonna taco spy green tomorrow
[+5] u/Zoloft5250: Pakistan have number four prostitute in whole world. Very nice!!
[+5] u/thejourneymanfm2024: Why did USO drop to $131 out of nowhere?
[+5] u/FelixMumuHex: # [Iran-Linked Hackers Are Sabotaging US Energy and Water Infrastructure](https://www.wired.com/story/iran-linked-hackers-are-sabotaging-us-energy-and-water-infrastructure/)
[+5] u/Independent_Drop4317: I’m gonna be stuck in traffic when the countdown starts
[+5] u/zedk47: Fireworks postponed?
[+5] u/Gusstastic: Open up the fucken casino you crazy bastards!
[+5] u/Level_Counter3062: New war tactic, burn so many people out of puts they stop buying them THEN do the thing
[+5] u/AdditionalMany1292: I’m on my way to the cheapest bar as soon as I clock out of work
[+5] u/trsx5: USO finally below my short price \*goon time
[+5] u/Moepenmoes: I'm literally the last one in my bloodline lmao, I'm fucked
[+5] u/Basic-Kale3169: I came. I traded. I lost.
[+5] u/ShittyUsernane1222: the stock market eod being green might discourage 🥭 from TACOing now.
[+5] u/Bright-Revolution496: This is the last straw, dudes. Market is going to ignore all of this shit from now on/
[+5] u/bub356: There’s no way he won’t TACO; if he goes through with the attack it would be an atrocity that can’t be covered up.
[+5] u/PinNo6026: From all the chatter it looks like a 2 week deal will be reached
[+5] u/dmac_1991: What time is it in Iran rn ? ?
[+5] u/Visible_Sir7057: Why is bitcoin called corn here lol
[+5] u/VellyJanta: Used to be auto removed that’s why people still say regard for retard
[+5] u/Technicaltrades404: This 🤡said end of civilization but is okay with extending his own extended ultimatum deadline. He is beyond a cuck loser at this point
[+5] u/Haboubiii: —❗️🇺🇸/🇮🇷 NEW: ‘U.S. and Arab officials say talks are now centering around a deadline extension, not a ceasefire deal’ – WSJ
[+5] u/eirinite: Begging 🥭 to 🌮 this time. If he actually does it, America is cooked and I don't mean financially. No one could or would ever take us seriously ever again
[+5] u/Confident_Lab_2135: What the fuck is going on?
[+5] u/LaserGuy626: Pakistan offer as a mediator is to extend deadline in exchange for opening the strait. Both sides in negotiations and considering it
[+5] u/Pikachumon25: Congratulate me!
I will wake up tomorrow morning shorting 500 AAPL shares. Will he taco and bust my ass who knows? I’ll post gain/losss porn tomorrow.
RIP
[+5] u/ArkAngelEV: you guys think i joke when i say SPY would go up 4 digit percent up if several thermonuclear nuclear explosions were detected on Earths surface
[+5] u/CursedClownz: Market is rigged and you are stupid if you short
[+5] u/Cutalana: People who say TACO aren't factoring Mr yahoo into the equation
[+5] u/nycimt: This website sucks. Wtf is it crashed again? Just look at my previous posts I said SPY will close 658 or 659.
Buy 5-15% on 0dte what you can afford to degen.
Most of all buy minimum 2 weeks out.
Yes we are in a very news headline driven market right now, but try looking at orderflow and stop fearmongering...
[+5] u/Philthatman: Crazy timeline would be twist ally 🥭 starts invasion of Israel
[+5] u/Snowman33001: Europoors vs Amerifats
Who will win?
[+5] u/ChickenYip: Can’t wait for my puts to be down 50% tmr so I can double down for half the price !
[+5] u/pineapplekiwipen: i can already taste the most delicious taco this world has ever seen maybe ever
[+5] u/Oldschoolhype2: He didnt fire commanders and generals and move assets there for no reason. He's surrounded by Hegseth, Miller and yes men. Going to see soon.
[+5] u/bringkiteback: Bro just slide your poopy diaper across the table they’ll realize you mean business
[+5] u/Bernardhops2: Trump gonna look like a bitch if he 🌮 out again
[+5] u/poffa-: I don't care if bols or bers will win today's battle, I'm drinking good wine in the hope that no bombs will be dropped
[+5] u/SomePolack: Good luck everyone, this is exactly what I’d expect to happen before things get worse
Gov warning about ongoing cyberattacks on US infrastructure today
[+5] u/Stack_Johnson: Glad to see all but the most retarded WSB degens made money today on this extremely obvious outcome 🌮
[+5] u/WillingCommittee: I bought puts at market close so everyone can make money tomorrow
[+5] u/FewCommunication5097: Calculate the beam load and hang myself because the market won’t go down with the worst economic news in history
[+5] u/National-Log5203: I bet those Iranian guys haven't even read the Art of the Deal
[+5] u/patricktu1258: I am so anxious that I am about to throw up
[+5] u/WarmCan3034: usps fuel surcharge, PUTS WILL PRINT
[+5] u/Moepenmoes: Chat is going so fast none will know I kissed my cousin once
[+5] u/sauronII: My grand-grandma was born in 1874 in Austria. She saw her money go wortheless three times in her lifetime. She taught me two lessons:
1. be sure you have a well and food when shit goes down
2. have a gun and friends with guns
[+5] u/inconsistentsavant: Sooo…didn’t think world war 3 would be like this.
[+5] u/sloanemonroe: What does Iran gain by opening the strait? It’s their only negotiating tool.
[+5] u/Shot-Ground-9898: Do not extend the deadline Mango. Don’t get played like a fiddle
[+5] u/humanoideric: So what was the point of this war, regime change? Dont we usually have like, a fake reason at least
[+5] u/lostinspacs: Sounds like bers were betrayed. Even Iran is TACOing
[+5] u/AcademicStandard3701: Damn another flat day on spy guess we’ll get em next time bears
[+5] u/absolutxtr: that's just taco setting them up for failure. I trust Fox more with leaked shit than I do CNN. Not because CNN bad but because they for sure purposely leak lies to CNN.
[+5] u/StrangeInsanity: We might actually reach ATH’s if there is a two week extension.
[+5] u/clavitopaz: PLEASE DONALD TRUMP I NEED THIS
my moms kinda homeless 😭
[+5] u/absolutxtr: I don't see what the solution will be. I don't see Iran opening the strait. Nor do I see Taco Tacoing without getting the strait open.
He'll probably say he's extending cuz they gave another amazing gift. And promise checks. SECRET GIFT.... this time it'll be 200 imaginary ships.
[+5] u/WideZookeepergame775: It’s so bullish in here, we might actually go to all out war holy shit
[+5] u/Dajoechi: Dudes going to taco so hard
[+5] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: she’s blacker than darkness but that pussy pink like Kirby
[+5] u/JonRadian: Finished green. un be lie vable
[+5] u/JonRadian: We gonna do this every day for 2 weeks?
[+37] u/gloomyglooom: # 'A whole civilization will die tonight'
Damn, he wasn't lying. RIP Bears. 🙏🪦
[+32] u/Material_Formal3679: Everybody is saying TACO. We’ve already moved troops over there and we’re moving B-52’s over to be there by the deadline. Do you really think this administration would waste all this time and money just to…
Oh shit maybe yeah
[+31] u/Ready-Tennis8577: This is like nvidia earnings but for the world
[+23] u/clouts1: So are we legitimately face ripping off a Pakistani tweet and nothing from the United States government or Iran to back this up that they’re going to go along with this?
[+22] u/Nice-Difference8641: >i24NEWS reports that we are still waiting on responses from Washington and Tehran to the Pakistani proposal.
This is where we are right now, by the way.
[+22] u/Benjamin191: Let’s talk about the Epstein files
[+21] u/brondoplantscraveit: I can’t believe I literally saved a nation by buying puts. I’m a god.
[+19] u/Burger_Gouger: Pakistan trying to facilitate the worst deal ever
Iran opens the strait and US delays bombing for 2 weeks
[+18] u/Any_Bluebird1765: These artificial deadlines, leaks, announcements are just market manipulation. There is real stuff going on quietly behind the scenes but everything we get is just the manipulation to move markets up or down. What i wouldnt give to be in some politico's inner circle. You'd have to be literally braindead not to make millions and the SEC doesnt exist in any meaningful sense so nothing to worry about.
[+18] u/boondo: Calling it that we're going to announce a ceasefire then just continue bombing them like the Gaza ceasefire.
[+18] u/NoHoHan: Trump will accept the 2-week ceasefire proposals from the Pakistanis; Pakistan’s foreign minister will get nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize; this will cause Trump to get jealous and, in a fit of rage, bomb all the power plants anyway.
Puts.
[+18] u/Candid_Payment_4094: If the strait of Hormuz actually opens tomorrow, we will see a 2-3% relief rally. Except for MSFT, as is tradition
[+17] u/AndThisGuyPeedOnIt: What in the fuck did any of this accomplish if there were an actual ceasefire? The regime did not change, they still have all their nuclear material, the IRGC still controls the population, they fucked shit up all over the Middle East, they found a new way to rake cash off of the strait, and commodity prices are going to take months to unwind even if it ended today. I cannot figure out what we even accomplished out of this.
[+17] u/Muted-South4737: This is why we had checks and balances.
Had.
[+17] u/Godzirraaaaaaaa: Bibi ain’t ceasing no fire
[+17] u/thelundyy: Why did the market just shoot up? I dont see any news
[+16] u/wright_on_: Someone compared being a U.S. citizen right now to being in a car with a drunk driver and I gotta say that’s pretty on point
[+16] u/Ahthongkorkor: all avoidable btw, could've just not started the war
[+16] u/Antique_Cabinet8416: "The edit history on this tweet shows that Pakistan Prime Minister Shehbaz Sharif originally copied and pasted everything he was sent, including:
"\*Draft - Pakistan's PM Message on X\*"
Now, obviously, Sharif's own staff don't call him "Pakistan's PM," they would just call him prime minister. The U.S. and Israel, of course, would call him "Pakistan's PM."
Would be funny if the fate of the world wasn't hanging in the balance."
this is what we're dealing with here. fucking imbeciles all the way down. keep buying bulls
[+16] u/OptionGamble: Who is feeling burnt out? From all the tweets and random news articles
[+16] u/FiveEggHeads: This is the dumbest market I've ever seen.
[+15] u/BigBasedGrifter69: BREAKING: Strait of Hormuz to reopen Thursday morning as Peggy who does the accounts gets back from maternity leave
[+15] u/el_ketchup: Lol Pakistan PMs tweet turned out to be posted by US
BREAKING: A senior Iranian official tells Drop Site that Pakistan’s two-week ceasefire proposal mirrors earlier U.S. efforts Tehran has already rejected.
Iran has already delivered its terms for negotiating an end to the war, the official said, adding: “A balanced proposal, endorsed by all mediators, has already been conveyed to the American side… Washington now has at its disposal all the elements required to reach a decision.”
The response comes after Pakistan’s Prime Minister urged a two-week ceasefire and called on Iran to reopen the Strait of Hormuz, saying diplomacy is “progressing steadily, strongly and powerfully” and “earnestly request[ing] President Trump to extend the deadline” that the U.S. President set to attack Iran’s civilian infrastructure.
[+15] u/jaboyles: It's funny how his insane tweets and press conferences are completely distracting from the fact oil is $115 a barrel. Shit goes green because completely insane thing that was never going to happen doesn't happen, and oil prices no longer matter.
[+15] u/zslszh: 1 HOUR 52 MINUTES REMAINING
[+15] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: Bears got rugged by Pakistan LMAO
[+15] u/cream_cheese_tits: sad bear checking in
[+14] u/breakyourteethnow: I'm never believing anything he says again. Biggest liar ever.
[+14] u/eyerollingsex: **The USA:**
I am going to end a civilization tonight
**The UK (not to be outdone):**
I am going to ban Kanye West
[+14] u/AndThisGuyPeedOnIt: Any ceasefire or delay that leaves the strait closed and tolled just means Iran wins. There's no reason for Iran to agree to anything to open the strait unless they get huge concessions out of us.
[+14] u/gloomyglooom: Just two more weeks to flaten ~~the curve~~ Iran
[+14] u/abused-throwawayy: Remember checking balance sheets for plays instead of refreshing the presidents off brand twitter?
[+14] u/Muted-South4737: What the actual fuck
[+14] u/rapidthrows523: Everyone thinks 🥭 will take the deal, so instead he’ll bomb the ever living shit out of them tonight 😭
[+14] u/iamblicus000: Disintegration of global economic order = market down 2%
Rumor of a plan for a ceasefire = market back to even
[+14] u/palmanul: Nothing happens at 8pm, no truth posts and 5 hours later 🌮 will be like oh did I say that
[+14] u/emperor_dinglenads: Great. The new "two weeks at a time forever war" just dropped.
[+14] u/Odd_Pitch21: Puts will pay big tmrw mark my words
[+13] u/itsallartyup: Let’s get back to the Epstein files please
[+13] u/Disc0Disc0Disc0: Kinda amusing the market is ignoring all the long term effects of high oil prices.
[+13] u/Sam_Vicious2: I just wanna get added to the insider trading group chat
[+13] u/HDauthentic: If EVERYBODY knows that a ceasefire is happening, how will the insiders make money? Makes you think twice
[+13] u/Aggressive_Bit_91: This shit is borderline comical
[+13] u/Awake_Beast616: the pakistan message about the ceasefire [was sent to him by a third party, and the PM copy-pasted it](https://twitter.com/ryangrim/status/2041622790298616241). lmao.
[+13] u/solidsneeze: Melania, baby listen to me:
you need. to take. the phone. away from him tonight
[+13] u/InfectedClit: He hasn’t even 🌮 yet 🤣
[+12] u/elephantsaregray: AYYY WE TACOED. GOOD SHIT. GREEN GREEN GREEN. STRONGEST NATION ON THE PLANET. SUCK MY BALLS AND LICK MY SHAFT. YOUR ENTIRE LIVES DEPEND ON WHAT OUR GERIATRICS ARE DOING IN THEIR FREE TIME
[+12] u/noelmc26: There is No deal possible. Iran wont open Ormuz. Iran will never surrender. Iran is going to blow up tonight
[+12] u/CPA-hole: We have an actual Armageddon countdown tonight.
What a time to be alive. For now.
[+12] u/imtypingoninternet: I wont believe a word of this peace deal until i see the iranians themselves confirming it
[+12] u/Cheeseheroplopcake: Polymarket being flooded with bets for a ceasefire before the deadline.
We all dance at the end of Barron's strings, folks.
[+12] u/AdorableCurrency5280: OIL is down 2% and people said cratering?
Shit is still over 110 a barrel -- stupid ass motherfuckers.
Stop reading shit ass headlines.
[+12] u/RagingBearBull: looks like insiders.
my x time line has these 2 head lines.
"its illegal to use humans to shield nuclear power plants form our bombs"
followed by the NYT.
"Why ending a civilization is not as evil as you think it is"
[+12] u/mstcyclops: Ber or Bul, Theta or Cashgang; we should all be disgusted how often big money trades on news the rest of us clearly aren't privy to
[+12] u/LossMax: Imagine being a bear hoping Iran civilians get bombed so you can make 200% on your $100 worth of spy puts
[+12] u/svpa3991: *🥭 privately dms Pakistan to request all sides for a ceasefire*
Mango: “you lucky Pakistan holding me back, they sound reasonable. 2 weeks it is”
[+12] u/fish_: SHOW ME THE 2 WEEK EXTENSION I NEED TO SEE IT WITH MY OWN EYES
[+12] u/JafarFromAfar2: The strait has already been closed for long enough that significant damage to global supply chains is inevitable. Even if the war ended today and normal flow of oil resumed, there will still be major reverberations. But the market will pretend everything is fine until companies tell it otherwise!
[+12] u/Peppper: Iran hasn’t said shit
[+12] u/Nice-Difference8641: If Iran agrees to reopen the strait during peace negotiations for the next 2 weeks it’s not a TACO at all, trump’s ultimatum just worked
[+11] u/SeaweedLeft9746: Looking forward to taking all bulls money
[+11] u/WarmMinimalist: Are we getting tricked with bombings and fighter jet news, or are we getting tricked with peace talk news?
[+11] u/Independent-Craft-46: The entire world will be looking at Tehran tonight at 8 PM which will give Trump the perfect cover to invade Greenland
[+11] u/Muted-South4737: This market ate lead chips as a child.
[+11] u/epyonxero: >same Overton Window-shattering tactic he’s always used: Even if worst doesn’t happen tonight - rhetorically he’s opened up possibility of the unimaginable, making lesser (but still horrible) actions seem moderate by comparison… all increasing likelihood that one day the worst really will happen
[+11] u/Prestigious_Year_621: Please dump I don't want to FOMO
[+11] u/Ahthongkorkor: Breaking | Senior official to CNN: "There's a chance President 🌮 may approve or reject. The likelihood of approval is 40%."
why are they pretending it isnt 100% lmao
[+11] u/AndThisGuyPeedOnIt: "Backside of Moon looks exactly like front side of Moon, news at 11"
[+11] u/Optimal-Midnight4295: I feel so gross when I go to truth social to see what kind of crazy shit he’s currently posting
[+11] u/Lizard798658866: I hope they delay it 24 hours so everyone can deal with the chaos again tomm.
[+11] u/DonaldSnowLoa: Buy the rumor sell the news. Oil isn’t magically dropping back down to $75 a barrel overnight. A ceasefire kicks the can down the road, it doesn’t solve the crisis
[+11] u/Pury101: Too bullish in here , as this thread is my counter-indicator , dump it is
[+11] u/Necessary-Lychee-486: So it always pays to be an absolute moron? Got it. Most manipulated market of all time. No contest.
[+11] u/peace_seeker007: No more bombing and there will be a cease fire because I decided to buy puts today.
You are welcome Iranian people
[+11] u/peace_seeker007: Consolation prize: Atleast my 401k is going up 🐻
[+11] u/YouDontKnowDino: Can’t wait until Iran comes out and says they’ve agreed to nothing, but the market goes up anyways lmao
[+11] u/Brief_Carpenter_7457: Trading under 🥭 presidency has taken years off my life lol
[+11] u/optionsCone: TACO Tuesday in full effect. Buy calls
> TRUMP: 'TOTALLY ILLEGAL' FOR IRAN TO USE CIVILIANS AS HUMAN SHIELDS AROUND POWER PLANTS; 'THEY'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT' - NBC
[+10] u/Oxidrox: In a surprising move 🥭 invades Greenland instead.
[+10] u/1111thatsfiveones: Iran Consulate: "Iran will NEVER surrender"
Seems like maybe that's a rejection?
[+10] u/CasherburyTales: Is the nuke at 8:00 eastern time, 7 central?
[+10] u/Romanian_: Bombers are on the way. They either hit Iran or my portfolio.
[+10] u/manginamonologues: What was the point of this war?
[+10] u/kerrykingzgo-T: I think no deal, no bridges blown up, some sort of extension, eye ran says 🥭 is full of shit, he makes more empty threats, market continues to finish each day at 0% change. I bought 1 call and 1put just to feel like I'm in the game.
[+10] u/falling_knives: We went from waiting for a Fed decision to waiting to see if a country gets blown up or not. Crazy times.
Anyways, calls. TACO Tuesday was the hint.
[+10] u/cantgetthistowork: Nukes are flying at 8pm but market will be up 10% because all you regards are buying puts pricing in a 5% drop that never materializes
[+10] u/Full_Boysenberry_198: If we’ve learned anything, the first move is always fake
[+10] u/LarsTarkas: With enough deadline extensions we will hit 700
[+9] u/SuspiciousStable9649: Oil is going back up if anyone cares. Something something first move is always wrong something.
[+9] u/poopy_wizard132: The United States of America
Always
Chickens
Out
🌮
[+9] u/cinecoinstudios: this shit dumping either way unless the hormal is opened
[+9] u/neaturee: If Donny accepts this 2 week peace deal he is a coward. No way he accepts
[+9] u/Evening_Following802: If $snap doesn’t go to 10 dollars in 2 weeks I’ll leave my wife
[+9] u/Anonymous92916: Mass genocide in two hours and CNN is talking about women's hockey and Fox is talking about homeless corruption.
[+9] u/Technical_Sea_5022: My puts may be fucked lmao
[+9] u/_AnecdotalEvidence_: So happy I sold my spy puts for +50% right before close lol
[+9] u/Nagalavonpelt: Oil going to be flowing like a diddy hotel room 😎
[+9] u/bronfmanhigh: hilarious any regards here think they can time the market when you're up against the insiders that know about it an hour before it happens
[+9] u/Former_West_7960: you guys ready for another 2 weeks of this
[+9] u/smellyfingernail: tfw there is no news flows but we are just inferring what is the current situations by looking at corn and futures
[+9] u/Careful_Response4694: This TACO was promised to options sellers 3000 years ago.
[+9] u/PositiveToe2761: This is gonna be really funny when Bibi gives him the call to tell him what’s actually going to happen
[+9] u/Haunting-Yogurt938: Locked in a 20% gain this morning only for it to go 250% by EOD.
Fun.
[+9] u/Traditional-Cloud154: First move always wrong
[+9] u/Put3socks-in-it: We’re 1 hour and 43 minutes away from the deadline being extended another 2 weeks
[+9] u/unanymous2288: It’s giving April 2 2025 when we rallied into trumps tariff speech. 😅
[+9] u/bm_mane8: Buying puts here looks tasty
[+9] u/Forward-Ad5608: every time I refresh truth social I curse god for this timeline where I need to check what stupidity that fat orange narcissist has last posted on his ridiculous tacky ad filled vanity platform
[+9] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Oil up 10%: SPY flat
Oil down 4%: SPY up 1%
[+9] u/HaveAKlondike: Coming from the White House now:
“Sir, they bought the pump”
“BARRON SHORT IT!!!”
[+9] u/SuspiciousStable9649: Nobody knows shit, do they?
[+8] u/kemar7856: Bears want Iran to get bombed if you really think about it
[+8] u/SKJ_2012: Someone in an aviation group im in on fb posted a video earlier of B-2s leaving Whiteman AFB, do what you want with that information. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
[+8] u/jrichar: This US-Iran deadline has almost distracted me completely from the Epstein files.
[+8] u/Joonypoo: been selling offf margin positions at a huge loss
just dont do this shit guys
[+8] u/Actual_Difference617: You guys know the drill. Futures will jump or drop significantly before anything is announced.
[+8] u/SKJ_2012: Can I just for once pick the right direction SPY will move
[+8] u/baadllama_ghost: SPY gonna hit ATH overnight
[+8] u/PushAble2463: Stupidest war in the history of mankind. Absolutely nothing (positive) achieved. One for the history books (of retards)
[+8] u/TechniCruller: Biggest plot twist would be 🥭still nuking them
[+8] u/Select-Roll-4041: So if Donny doesn’t taco and Pakistan gets it going, is it now a PACO?
[+8] u/River_Sandhu: I love how US and Pakistan are trying to negotiate a ceasefire. Anyone would think Iran didn’t have a part in this war 😂
[+8] u/Nonreality-tees-lol: My moves? Swim in my oil pool
[+8] u/KehreAzerith: Remember, before the war started, everyone said negotiations were making progress...
[+8] u/Newlife_40: I don’t want to be right on this but I think they sank the oil futures market to pump it here prior to 8pm est
[+8] u/SSMST: Market manipulation misdirection….
[+8] u/Tall-Candidate3755: They are getting the MM's out before it happens, huh?
[+8] u/bb483: Bears begging for war lmaooo
[+8] u/RagingBearBull: regardless, i feel bad for all Americans overseas.
people are going to hate you
[+8] u/Informal-Composer226: Why is oil dipping on taco? Surely this means another two weeks of no oil? I’m stuck holding & feeling regarded
[+8] u/Dr_Vibe_Check: Made $1.97 today 🥴. Was too greedy to take the 2k in profits, a lesson taught very often but never learned
[+8] u/Beelzebussin: Bulls better be right or there’s gonna be a lot more to worry about than our ports lmao
[+8] u/Competitive_War5658: Im on every news app notifications all turned on and I seem to be late to news everything it comes out. Market is instant real time reacting. How do I get news that fast.
[+8] u/tinydisaster: Bro it’s insider trading
[+8] u/Damerman: This is absolute stupidity.
[+8] u/AdventurousAd3310: I wouldn’t get too excited yet bols…
[+8] u/Traditional_Hair_453: GREATEST DAMP OF ALL TIME IN T MINUS 2HRS
[+8] u/StandardDot5115: its not about the money, its about sending a message
the message is that i fukken suck at gambling
[+8] u/TheDiplomat82: What is the news? I don't see anything on the feeds
[+8] u/InitiativeGlum2507: Imagine owning retail on the cusp of WW3
[+8] u/No_Somewhere3288: I used to think the market was rigged. I still do but I used to too.
[+8] u/unexceptiontotherule: Nobody with half a brain doubted 🥭 would TACO. But it shouldn’t matter.
SPY has no business being above 660 with the structural damage to the global economy. Clown market
[+8] u/niceguy897: people are too optimistic about this entire iran situtation. the strike happening is a lot more likely than not happening.
mr mango got stuck in iran and he's looking for an exit. by now he understood he didn't strike iran hard enough to get concessions.
[+7] u/Highway_Song: I’m a bear, but we all know nothing is going to happen tonight. This is like April 2025 again where everything rose to ATH.
$SPY 770 EOY, watch.
[+7] u/TheBlueBlaze: I'm trying to skip two hours but I keep seeing "you cannot pass time while enemies are nearby". What does that mean?
[+7] u/Nagalavonpelt: You can almost smell the taco 🌮
Come on mango 🥭 Fold like a cheap suit
[+7] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: The gulf states are keeping quiet and not revealing how badly damaged their oil fields are.
Only Quatar is being transparent on its damaged LNG infrastructure.
In any case, we shouldn't expect oil going below $100 anytime soon as it takes a couple of years to restore any damages.
Was hoping to hear Saudi & Kuwait go force majure on its clients to get some confirmation.
[+7] u/auroraavm: there are people in this world that legit make 10 or 20k PER DAY & not from wsb's (wealth gap)
[+7] u/Antique_Cabinet8416: how can anyone "invest" in this shit? they're so lucky 99% of 401k havers only check their account once a quarter
[+7] u/nikerock: Lmao this market is legit regarded. I'm not fucking mad I didn't get calls, you're fucking mad you didn't get calls.
[+7] u/dolhingod7777: What if he just goes radio silent for 24 hrs?
[+7] u/options8648: Imagine being an average citizen living in Tehran and seeing that tweet about wiping out an entire civilization
[+7] u/followedbymeteor: Nothing more bullish than obliterating civilizations
[+7] u/Mr60SPX: Infinite universe theory: There’s some guy in Iran being told by his boss that he still has to show up to work tomorrow to finish those TPS reports.
[+7] u/good-times-: Satan at 666. Need to break thru
[+7] u/Aggressive_Bit_91: The nuke was dropped on oil futes not Iran. It was a diversion.
[+7] u/CharmingSoil: Setting up for a huge crash when Kharg Island vanishes off the map at 8:01.
[+7] u/killcon84: Absolutely criminal. I hope you enjoy the same choppy up and down since October bulls you deserve it for not allowing a proper crash
[+7] u/dbd209: Just remember, outside of a down day or two, all bad news is priced in and is bullish. The key to understanding the stock market in 2026 is accepting the fact that the stock market only goes up, all dips are meant to be bought, and no news is ever going to create a sustain dipped. Anyone who buys puts or even decides to hedge towards the downside, is an idiot at this point.
[+7] u/DaFlyingGriffin: We are reaching new and more interesting levels of manipulation here.
Pakistan is now in on it.
[+7] u/PlentyArmy2411: Bers clutching their purse, praying for mass casualties
[+7] u/Newlife_40: Still haven’t found any real news about actual ceasefire happening
[+7] u/Napster-mp3: How is Israel so powerful? Lol
[+7] u/ddrsdght: 2 weeks from now: We have made a deal between ET 👽 and Iran to extend the deadline
[+7] u/RoyalFail6: A whole portfolio will die tomorrow, never to be brought back again. Praise be to Allah
[+7] u/sufficiently7777: Baers are logged out of Reddit
[+7] u/Spear_n_Magic_Helmet: sir a second Crunchwrap Supreme has hit the market
[+7] u/Nice-Difference8641: > According to Iranian sources, “the ball is in the US’s court.” Iranian officials say that, following revisions to the initial draft, mediators have conveyed Iran’s proposal to the US and that the decision now rests with Trump. They also state that a reasonable and compromise-ready text has been submitted to the mediators. The US response is now awaited.
[+7] u/fish_: Iran can do whatever they want but if they fuck with my puts im never talking to them again
[+7] u/Gonzalo12560: Taco 🌮 confirmed guys
[+7] u/Evening_Following802: It’s almost June might buy grinder calls
[+7] u/E39_CBX: Not seeing any news on CNN what happened spoonfeed me
[+7] u/TheOriginalBushToad: So, are we supposed to believe Pakistan now?
[+7] u/CasherburyTales: We haven’t tested nukes since like the 1970s. How sure are we the insides haven’t been replaced with old Chinese newspapers.
[+7] u/81458145: Pakistan proposes 🥭 postpones for 2 weeks. 🌮 incoming
[+7] u/GoldenParrot456: pretty sure even bin laden didnt use the kind of words for USA that mr trump is using for iran . crazy
[+7] u/svpa3991: Is that spike confirmed taco lol
[+6] u/thegreatgumbini: 🥭: Take military, Go to Iran. Make a bunch of empty threats - "So much winning." - grab Oil, go to the Winchester, have a nice cold pint, and wait for all of this to blow over. How's that for a slice of fried gold?
Hegseth: Yeah, boyyyeee!
[+6] u/brute-forced: $10/gal gasoline folks
[+6] u/0neshoein: They’re gonna announce a ceasefire to get them off their guard.
[+6] u/CD274: Pakistan and Egypt talking about how to descalate Iran war
And Jefferson from the fed made some ok remarks about the labor market
[+6] u/CBme08: Calls till Thursday. Puts Friday
[+6] u/1111thatsfiveones: Sort of seems like Iran is calling the bluff. He's either going to have to bomb them or lose face from the inevitable TACO.
https://x.com/IraninHyderabad/status/2041627174718058620
[+6] u/Yousoldmetohigh: I mean, we pump 5% this week and were back to ATH.
[+6] u/MeYouThemEveryone: JD is the negotiator for the US regarding a ceasefire, the question is will Iran say sorry?
[+6] u/BlackKnightsOptions: So wait he hasn't officially taco yet?
[+6] u/good-times-: Officially taco Tuesday
[+6] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: Fellow bers we might be fucked, beyond fucked actually. But let’s see
[+6] u/Aldribuds: GOOG you beautiful beast
[+6] u/Candid_Payment_4094: Bulls and bears realizing tomorrow what IV crush is
[+6] u/DeezCodeNutz: Commence Operation Super-TACO!
[+6] u/WillTheGreat: Pakistan tryna get in on that market manipulation game
[+6] u/AndThisGuyPeedOnIt: A tradition unlike any other. The Taco. On CNN.
[+6] u/Butter_Ball22: I wore a thong to work today. Secrets are fun.
[+6] u/theduke9: If we’re gonna destroy the world, can we plz do it before work not after?
[+6] u/E82822: Fries in the bag buddy
[+6] u/Datsyuk131313: Bers punching the air
[+6] u/Internal_Field5970: Guys, please don’t be retarded
[+6] u/avdvetf: The "A" in TACO is always. Not sometimes. Not occasionally. Always, retards.
[+6] u/coloredzebra: *THEYRE TURNING BACK AROUND I REPEAT THEYRE TURNING AROUND THR BOMBERS*
LOOOONG!!!
https://x.com/i/status/2041624424072229153
[+6] u/MerWinterCakeGiants: Is this just not the tacos playbook to fake negotiations then bomb?
[+6] u/Just_Learned_This: A ceasefire doesn't open the straight
[+6] u/Signal_Beautiful1133: Let’s take a moment to appreciate the bears, who have been providing so much liquidity to the market these days
[+6] u/Current_Animator7546: Futes already exploding!
[+6] u/Bitter_Ad_2500: I'm glad I picked up some calls at 4:13pm just in case of fuckery like this.
[+6] u/gloomyglooom: So we are basically doing a countdown to nukes flying? I feel like I am a NPC in a satirical movie lol
[+6] u/Betabutter: I’d bet my left nut that he extends the deadline
[+6] u/amanj41: Don’t even see news in Bloomberg wtf is going on
[+6] u/unhappyreach_: Fucking retard bears smh 🙄
[+6] u/SimpleWire: Im convinced he just loves the attention, never actually planned to do anything just wants us to talk about it
[+6] u/avdvetf: I predicted a taco
I am very smart
[+6] u/TheOriginalBushToad: Glad I exited my poots this morning. This is some TACO bullshit...
[+6] u/Ihateporn2020: We aren't even close to any conceivable middle ground
[+5] u/Paykuh-: Because the US is their vassal and every politician is paid off or blackmailed by them
[+5] u/Andthesuch: Bibi didn't order any tacos
[+5] u/blumpkinspatch: I bought so many Persian rugs today. My Persian rug trade will be a 10 bagger and bers can eat a dick
[+5] u/Ljocran: my puts are fucked to death, who knew war is this bullish
[+5] u/Crackbot420-69: Im going to save Iran and prevent WW3 the only way I know how — full port into SPXS after hours.
[+5] u/twostroke1: Bears literally fuming rn
[+5] u/No-Improvement3164: 4am this morning and 6pm tonight. Perfectly normal
[+5] u/LarsTarkas: Perhaps 🥭 only agreed to a ceasefire because Barron accidentally sausage fingered a huge call order
[+5] u/Sanjuro-Makabe-MCA: B-52s don’t show up on flight tracker lmao
[+5] u/AndThisGuyPeedOnIt: I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand here, dude, and across this line you shall not ... actually, dude, we'll just draw another line in the sand a little further back than this one.
[+5] u/Royal_Code_2988: Damn it’s my own fault for underestimating how regarded Americans are and how much they love war
[+5] u/Paincoast89: A country needs to be in ruins so I don’t lose 500$
[+5] u/MadeThatCash: If this guy 🌮 again ffs
[+5] u/poopy_wizard132: Strait stays closed. Stocks go down.
[+5] u/avdvetf: just pour the oil into the strait, let it flow out naturally
[+5] u/-medicalthrowaway-: Being mildly depressed is not conducive to being a good trader
When I was suicidal, I didn’t gaf about money so confidently yoloed to success
When I’m content, I think clearly and make calculated bets
This in between is no bueno
[+5] u/AdjustDeezNutz: What do you mean thermonuclear war isn't priced in?
[+5] u/very-social-autist: sub awfully quiet about Avis budget squeeze.. Guess I'm not the only one decimated...
[+5] u/isc1200s: Worst case scenario is Mr. Winner gives the green light for Israel to use a nuclear weapon against Iran.
Pawn the responsibility off on someone else.
[+5] u/MikeyS2k: Tacooo Tuesdayyyy and you didnt buy calls?
[+5] u/KYEEZY98: Guys, Sources are saying WE WON THE WAR!!!
Let's gooooooooooooooooo
[+5] u/Erieztoys: How many civilizations would we need to destroy to get my retirement return where it needs to be?
[+27] u/NotRllytho: # A WHOLE CIVILIZATION OF BERS DIED TONIGHT
[+23] u/PeeOnDusk: Iran in 1 hour: we didn’t have a single conversation with 🥭 and there is no deal
[+21] u/Apfelmoes_: Getting reports that Iran fired celebratory missiles toward Israel to mark the new era of peace between brotherly nations 🤗
[+17] u/PotentialBicycle7: >President on Tuesday said he agreed to suspend planned attacks on Iranian infrastructure for two weeks.
there ya go, another two week "deadline"
[+16] u/lSazedl: Lol yall forget that this is Mango talking to himself? Iran ceased communication with the states about 8 hours ago...probably for this exact reason. Mango lies
[+16] u/Wishforgains: Iran is already launching missiles again lol
[+16] u/DelphiTsar: Didn't Iran already say no to a proposed ceasefire? Is Trump negotiating with himself again?
[+16] u/midwestck: By open: Iran dismisses any reports of negotiation and keeps the strait closed. Oil flat. SPY +1.5%.
[+16] u/Select_Season7735: Iran just launched missiles at Israel lol. Good start to the ceasefire
[+16] u/egauifan: JUST IN:Iran launches new wave of missiles towards Israel 10 minutes after President Trump announces 2-week ceasefire, IDF says.
[+16] u/TouchTipz: Iran agreed
My puts are ultra dead
[+15] u/Quartertipsy: Yeah there is no ceasefire. I have no idea wtf the market is doing though. Running purely on fake news
[+15] u/Double_Anybody: He said it’s contingent on them opening the straits bro this isn’t happening
[+14] u/i_goon_to_tomboys___: \>"**and subject to the Islamic Republic of Iran agreeing to the COMPLETE, IMMEDIATE, and SAFE OPENING of the Strait of Hormuz**, I agree to suspend the bombing and attack of Iran for a period of two weeks. "
.........yeah but iran didn't agree jack shit
[+14] u/whatislifebruh: Iran in 30 mins: “we never agreed to anything”
But SPY won’t care and will keep pumping.
[+14] u/awstick: Am I missing something, or is this statement totally meaningless, because there's no way Iran is going to agree to strait is going to be "the COMPLETE, IMMEDIATE, and SAFE OPENING of the Strait of Hormuz"?
[+14] u/darklordyy: Oh shit it was accepted by Iran
[+14] u/yeahyoubored: -Market- -manipulation-
again. y’all there is some serious generational wealth being made here.
just not for you and your family.
insiders only. so corrupt.
[+14] u/7fingersDeep: Let me see if I understand. SPY still finished green today and then shoots up 2% after hours because… we’re still the same place with an unconfirmed two week cease fire?
Not a peace deal. A dubious cease fire.
Ok.
[+14] u/singlebud: Iran : talks with U.S. do not mean end of war - Iranian media
🔴 Iran: 10-point proposal included controlled transit through the Strait of Hormuz coordinated with Iranian armed forces, ending war against Iran and allied groups, withdrawal of US combat forces from all regional bases - Iranian Media.
Iran : it will only accept war conclusion once details are finalized according to the 10-point plan - Iranian media
Iran : 10-point proposal included lifting all primary and secondary sanctions, payment of full compensation to Iran and release of all frozen Iranian assets
🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
[+13] u/Devastaytah: ONLY THING GETTING BOMBED TONIGHT ARE MY PUTS 😭😭😭☠️☠️
[+13] u/Ok-Adeptness6444: I got fucking wrecked. F
[+13] u/Senpai_Slime: So is this the second or third time now they have declared an agreement without actually engaging with the other party first
[+13] u/slimeystevebob: This is the stupidest shit I have ever seen. No way Iran agrees to this. Red by morning. I say that and I'm holding calls.
[+13] u/NiceJobSon: What happened did Greenland surrender
[+13] u/TheGodDavidLoPan: Iranians folded. Thousand year bull run confirmed. Iron Sheik in shambles.
[+13] u/Asleep_Log_8985: Tomorrow: Everyone rushes back into the market, buys calls, etc, and Trump dumps it around 1PM after a suspicious selloff at noon by saying that they cannot agree to all points in Iran's proposal.
There's no way that this is a good deal for the US, Iran has the world by the nuts
[+12] u/_rockthemike: Tomorrow gonna be 5%+ day I hope you guys loaded calls
[+12] u/TimelessTrance: So um. How tf is the market going to react when Iran does not open the strait? Market is pumping for absolutely no reason until Iran accepts the deal. The deal was made with Pakistan.
[+12] u/hermeskino715: 2 week ceasefire?
Again. Nothing changed...besides my fucking calls that are going to print tomorrow lmao
[+12] u/GreatRegard: Didn’t he post the exact same thing on a Monday without talking to Iran?😅
[+12] u/Warmake: Why do Indexes always act so violently when this moron says anything. 1 year of taco and the market still move to whatever he says. Truly the most idiotic timeline.
[+12] u/abroadbroadband: He writes and schedules his tweets in pairs
The threat
# and the taco
[+12] u/Single-Adeptness-769: Iran will probably publicly reject this and keep firing but since market daddy said it they’ll pump stocks I fucking hate being a bear
[+12] u/BillyShears2015: Iran has a chance to do the funniest thing. But if they do it, I will lose money.
[+12] u/Nero23x: https://preview.redd.it/x30mt663nutg1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=2387dd6b7c4f2303ee1af13fca15d8cea6757aa2
[+12] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: This is a deadline extension dressed up as a ceasefire.
We’re all having Mexican food tonight
[+12] u/singlebud: White House official : Iran ceasefire will come into force once Iran opens the Strait of Hormuz - Axios
Iran : negotiations with U.S. will be held in Islamabad to finalize details, aiming to confirm Iran’s battlefield achievements politically within a maximum of 15 days
Israel's Kan public broadcaster, citing Israeli source: Israel is committed to Iran ceasefire
Iran : talks will begin Friday April 10 and may be extended if both sides agree
Israel has also agreed to the two-week ceasefire and to suspend its bombing campaign : two White House officials
Oh okay so they haven’t opened it yet… 🤡
[+11] u/johndsmits: Paks are confident deal will happen, but chances Israel mess it all up last hour: 99%
[+11] u/nullzeroerror: PLEASE TELL ME WHERE IRAN FUCKING AGREED TO THAT???
[+11] u/_Fibbles_: Mango saying he will ceasefire for two weeks if Iran opens the straight. Iran saying they won't open the straight or agree a ceasefire until a permanent deal is done.
So nothing has changed then?
[+11] u/Asleep_Log_8985: Iran about to tweet "lol nah" and this shit is gonna dump back down to 655.
If we ever get a real SEC/DOJ again, we're gonna need decades to investigate the amount of insider trading that happened during this admin
[+11] u/A_Credo: Iran saw Trumps post and then launched some ballistic missiles. hahaha
[+11] u/AirwickS: Bull, here.
The Strait sure as hell isn’t opening anytime soon. We’re not out of the woods at all.
[+11] u/PotentialBicycle7: now it says on cnbc the ceasefire is conditional on the strait opening, lol 🤷♀️
[+11] u/shaun678: can we laugh at geybers now? I stopped laughing at them for 1 month and i feel bad
[+11] u/gentlesandwich: THATS WHY YOU BUY THE POWER BALL TICKETS EVERY DAY
[+11] u/BABA_bagholder: Is there any chance the IRGC actually abides by this? Also does Iran know this means the end of their regime? Like its over lol. Israel and the US will resupply and bomb them to shit every 2-3 years now.
[+11] u/justanaveragejoe520: Reports that Iran accepted the ceasefire and immediately fired missiles at Israel. At least we pumping tomorrow 👍🏻
[+11] u/kawkface: IRAN SAYS SAFE PASSAGE VIA HORMUZ 'POSSIBLE' FOR TWO WEEKS
NOOO MY FUCKING PUTSS
[+10] u/GoZukkYourself: https://preview.redd.it/w452oykvjutg1.jpeg?width=810&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7a37fe1667c3e4482febc57922527dcd65b7beb4
[+10] u/ModeForJoe: BREAKING NEWS: No ceasefire or cessation of military movements as residents warned to shelter in place if possible. Experts predict war is now unavoidable between Bearjikistan and Bullkanda. Bearorists continue border clashes while the BullDF confront journalists. More at 11.
[+10] u/Feisty-Basis7903: Bulls celebrating a bit too early... we've seen this before
[+10] u/iiGoodVibesii: This is nuts. 1 hr and 30 minutes left..
[+10] u/machinepeen: The Art of the Deal. Man TACO’d on the 1 year anniversary of his original TACO.
[+10] u/athens72: Ceasefire agreed to ONLY if Iran opens the Strait. They would be stupid to do so.
[+10] u/A_Credo: This might end up being the most epic rug pull ever when Iran denies the ceasefire.
[+10] u/Lucky_Pin_8345: Postponed for 2 weeks lol and I made tacos tonight. Life’s funny sometimes 🌮
[+10] u/OldVast8119: Did Iran agree though?
[+10] u/TomTheCat85: Iran literally has agreed to nothing
[+10] u/SpitefulSeagull: Iran launching missiles right as 🍊 calls a ceasefire is great stuff. Nobody except the market and Western media cares what he says anymore lmao
[+10] u/Significant_Speed854: LOL CNN REPORTING ISRAEL JUST INTERCEPTED A MISSLE
[+10] u/Queasy_Soil9646: Spoke to Pakistan? Iran is the country you are bombing
[+10] u/ideletedmyaccount04: Tomorrow's Menu:
Worthless 0TDE Puts for as far as the eye can see.
[+10] u/FearlessStatement144: wtf does 2 weeks do.. his kid must have short dated calls
[+10] u/Swimming_Antelope239: When Trump said he's about to kill an entire civilization tonight, he actually meant the bear civilization.
It all makes sense now.
[+10] u/Anchises1: BERS WERE WISHING FOR NUCLEAR ARMAGEDDON TO SAVE THEIR PORTS WHAT DERANGED AWFUL CREATURES
[+10] u/Different-Volume-129: THE GREAT 2026 BEAR RAPTURE. MASS EXTINCTION EVENT
[+10] u/FearlessStatement144: What’s gonna happen when they say strait closed. I think this might be one of the most orchestrated masterclass bull traps I’ve ever seen
[+10] u/bobbyOsullivan: Iran is saying that the US agreed to their 10 point plan including lifting all sanctions and giving them complete control of the strait. I think everyone is jumping the gun here lol
[+10] u/lemurtowne: Oh snap, Iran and Israel also agreed.
This is all so ridiculous and unserious.
[+10] u/Due-Information-6277: Lmao buying oil dip!
[+9] u/CDov: My experience as a ber sucked.
[+9] u/GoZukkYourself: https://preview.redd.it/owfhk1p9iutg1.jpeg?width=1320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=93304905d5be44c1645d2a406973d4839cffcd43
[+9] u/MeepoSpam24-7: US claims to have largest army on planet and still manages to lose wars and be pussy at same time.. Cant make this shit up
[+9] u/TrumpChildOnahole: BEARS LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO
[+9] u/abroadbroadband: # TWO WEEKS!
HE DID IT AGAIN!
# LOLLLLLLLL
[+9] u/lSazedl: Dude just loves 2 weeks
[+9] u/iMakeGOODinvestmemts: Israeli Military: We identified missiles launched from Iran toward Israel
UH OH
[+9] u/OldVast8119: They never said they will open the strait
[+9] u/Complex-Algae-4214: Iran claiming 🥭 backed down LOL
[+9] u/TripleChocolate123: **Iran yesterday**: "We won't merely accept a ceasefire. We only accept an end of the war with guarantees that we won't be attacked again."
**Trump:** "I'll agree to a ceasefire."
**News:** "WORLD PEACE!"
When the market realizes that Iran saying they won't re-open the strait means they won't re-open the strait, guess what happens?
[+9] u/ObseenKarma: And now we know why market surged into close.
[+9] u/oldsguy65: Can you fathom the mental gymnastics people have to do with him?
Not only do you have to tell him his idea is stupid, you also have to present a better idea and then convince him it was his idea all along.
[+9] u/aquaticsardonic: Happy Bridge and Power Plant Day everyone
[+9] u/Zimoula: It’s pumping like war ended. It’s just a ceasfire while Israel will for sure continue to bomb them and Lebanon
[+9] u/WholesaleBacon: Everyone thought Iran was getting nuked, turns out it’s just the bears getting nuked.
[+9] u/Single-Adeptness-769: Genuinely starting to believe I’m cursed and if I was long we’d be bombing Iran right now. It’s all about me and god is out to punish me at the cost of global events.
[+9] u/Fit-Frosting-7144: *A whole civilization of bears will die tonight.*
This is probably what 🥭 meant all the time 😂😅
[+9] u/neutralpoliticsbot: I spoke with Iran directly bears they said its true your puts are toast.
[+9] u/TxCoolGuy29: Trump has been duped. Ballistic missiles incoming to Israel
[+9] u/KundaliniVibes: What is even happening. Shit is so dumb. So we’re just going back to all time highs in like 2 days time like nothing happened. Biggest ponzi scheme in history
[+9] u/Atetoomanyrocks: Again none of you have learned a single fucking thing from this guy over the past 10 years. Cry market manipulation all you want, yes he’s doing it. He’s given you all the playbook 100 fucking times now. He says some bullshit, market tanks, him and his friends buy in, then he says more bullshit to bring it back up. If you continually lose money because you do the opposite of this then you are truly retarded
[+9] u/DuaLipa247: Who else sitting like a cuck watching that shrek dick on spy
[+9] u/CigInside: The one thing I know about ceasefires in the Middle East is that they are always dutifully respected without any issues
[+8] u/Ok-Art6659: U.S. Will hold a ceasefire while Iran and Israël keep bombing each other
[+8] u/rcantu314: Spy 700 EOW not a meme 🤌
[+8] u/Entinot444: There is zero chance Israel stops attacking. Zero.
[+8] u/drbigtoe: Iran has not agreed to this ceasefire yet
[+8] u/AfraidAnalyst: Did anyone tell Iran about the deal yet?
[+8] u/Majestic-Bass6772: is the ceasefire only between the USA and Pakistan?? why the firing
[+8] u/voxpopper: Both sides can declare victory on this. Back to status quo minus some not to innocent and innocent deaths, a bunch of destruction, spike in petro, and billions made by those in the know.
[+8] u/Unlikely_Proof_7772: Sold my puts this morning for 10% gain
[+8] u/str8rippinfartz: Most predictable shit ever
And here I am with my thumb up my ass once again blowing the layup lmaooooo
Gonna go eat paste for dinner as usual
[+8] u/Old_Beyond_2095: Puts are gonna print tomorrow
[+8] u/Routine-Agent-160: HOLY SHIT, WHY IS THE SUN BLINDING GREEN OUTSIDE?
https://preview.redd.it/czqglatvoutg1.jpeg?width=626&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=35c83f9fb7346331f1d54e4cbd5c33837f74dd65
[+8] u/spreadbetfred: Being a reformed ber and learning the way of the bool was the best thing I ever did
[+8] u/i_goon_to_tomboys___: THREAD MOVING SO FAST NONE WILL READ THAT I GOON TO TOMBOYS
[+8] u/Franchementballek: Bibi is still going to strike Iran he does not give a shit about what 🥭 is doing
[+8] u/ObseenKarma: BERS PRAYING FOR ENTIRE CIVILIZATION TO DIE SO THEIR PUTS CAN MAKE $103 🫵😂
[+8] u/Longjumping_Rip_690: This means nothing lol there is no deal, just a headline.
[+8] u/Ok_Worldliness_2902: Does Iran know they agreed to this?
[+8] u/Ill-Text-5650: So.... Has Iran actually responded to this at all or...?
[+8] u/cutiesarustimes2: PART OF THE DEAL INVOLVES TRADING WSB MODS TO IRAN FOR CASH CONSIDERATIONS AND SPY OPTIONS TO BE NAMED LATER
[+8] u/Sweaty-Survey-9804: All jokes aside. If this holds. Puts might be the play tomorrow.
[+8] u/Cantthinkofacoolnam: I feel bad for the kid who had INTC. You all bullied him to selling for a loss. WSB really is a toxic thread. Hopefully he’s doing well in life.
[+8] u/Subspace13: LOL Iran launched missiles at Israel just now. Ceasefire lasted 2 minutes.
[+8] u/Hot-Pop-3250: ISRAELI MILITARY: MISSILES LAUNCHED FROM IRAN TOWARD ISRAEL IDENTIFIED
[+8] u/DatsMaPurse_IDKU: WSB bears pissed off he didn’t start a nuclear war so they can make their $200
[+8] u/aftherith: IRAN AGREES TO BECOME THE 50TH STATE REPLACING THE NOW TERRITORY OF CALIFORNIA
[+8] u/Ancient-Magi: I’m so sick of how cocky and annoying people that says bulls and bears. This guy just faked out the country and screwed over people to enrich friends. 8 pm tonight… this guy is evil
[+8] u/earthwalker19: i'm losing my mind.
'attack suspended for 2 weeks subject to the strait opening' -- is tighter than 'open the strait or we'll attack'. idk why anyone thinks iran will agree to this
[+8] u/SolidAndEdgy: congrats to everyone who had calls
[+8] u/Mr_Compyuterhead: Guess which regard decided to “de-risk” today
[+8] u/i_goon_to_tomboys___: "[**Trump Agrees to Two-Week Cease-Fire With Iran if Hormuz Re-Opened**](https://www.wsj.com/livecoverage/iran-war-2026-trump-deadline-latest-news?mod=WSJ_home_mediumtopper_pos_1)**"**
........hmm yeah great but
is there 01 (one) source saying that Iran is reopening hormuz?? at all?
tomorrow news: "Iran keeps hormuz closed, fuck ur calls lmao"
[+8] u/hey_thatsme21: This was from AP News 26 minutes ago:
"Iran’s joint military command spokesperson made the warning in a statement responding to U.S.-Israeli attacks.
Ebrahim Zolfaghari said Iran will intensify its attacks on military, security, and economic infrastructure in Israel and on “centers related to” the U.S. in the region.
Zolfaghari said Iran’s continued attacks on the infrastructure of the U.S. and its allies aim to deprive them of the region’s oil and gas supplies “for many years” and “force them to leave” the Middle East"
5 minutes later they announced the TACO. Wonder which one is the truth...
[+8] u/undocumented_twerker: We might see SPY 700 just in afterhours
[+8] u/athens72: CNN reporting no response yet from Iran.
[+8] u/shmito17: Insider trading, gotta love Mango he doesn’t give a fuck
[+8] u/_rockthemike: Fucking god damn I really timed the bottom holy shit , leaps gonna print, so hyped
[+8] u/lobsterspider: Cool now we get to do all this over again next week
[+8] u/guosongtao: Wait, I’m a bull but
Doesn’t subject to agreeing to open means that
it is not open and nothing is confirmed?
What news is there?
[+8] u/Infinite-Anybody204: It might be a design flow that our entire existence hinges on the changing whims of an 82 year old schizo pedo.
[+8] u/freekerosene: Did Iran accept and open the strait yet? Or is this bout to be the greatest rug pull in history?
[+8] u/R1ckyB0bby_: So that pump 30 mins before the news was blatant insider trading?
[+7] u/MurkTwain: 🥭 really fucked it up this time. Strait of Hormuz potentially shut down to us ships forever. All ships passing through have to change from the petrodollar to an alternative currency which fucks USD. A country that has no interest in another Middle East war. Either empty threats that lose him credibility or just bombing the economy just before the AI boom erases middle class employment. Pretty crazy
[+7] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Don't count your call chickens before they hatch. Now you get to see how they manipulate it the other way the rest of the week
[+7] u/MrForever_Alone69: Iran later tonight, we didn’t agree to shit… here is another blown up petrochemical station
[+7] u/xXFoxyGrandpaXx: Did Iran even say anything yet?
[+7] u/Austin_Destroyer: How many times are we going to 🌮 before you realize that we don't deploy 3 carrier groups, 2 MEUs, and an airborne division for nothing?
See y'all in part IV, if you have any money left.
[+7] u/YourCautionaryTale: Important lesson here. Doesn't matter if the news is true, just as long as it's good.
[+7] u/uwu_owo_whats_this: I am never buying another fuckin put for as long as I live
[+7] u/vSlickRick: the strait aint opening i hope this price holds for your calls
[+7] u/i_goon_to_tomboys___: if Iran says "FUCK YOU LMAO THE STRAIT WILL KEEP CLOSED" we know damn well that Trump will taco again 14 days from now
therefore:
\- calls.
\- all in on NOTHING EVER HAPPENS.
[+7] u/kodaksdad2020: Nothing is going to happen
[+7] u/Select_Season7735: What most are failing to remember is that Iran hold the TACO. If they don’t agree to it, doesn’t mean shit
[+7] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: Is Hormuz gonna reopen? I don’t think Iran has confirmed that
[+7] u/DarkR124: Think I’m done until this shit blows over. Thanks to puts I’d be down over 23K but instead I’m only at around -$3500ish. Ima just sit out for a while. This market is a complete dumpster fire.
You’d have better odds flipping a coin for puts/calls than using actual logic and rationale.
[+7] u/xXFoxyGrandpaXx: Iran didn’t say shit yet, source?
[+7] u/random_account6721: The bears put everything on black and it just hit red.
Thanks for playing, you lose
[+7] u/Fantastic_Pirate3948: Iran has accepted?! Fuck, plus 5 tomorrow!
[+7] u/Skeano: Guys be honest who is getting margin called tomorrow?
[+6] u/i-Vison: The art of the deals isn’t working 🥭. They see your cards and know you’re bluffing
[+6] u/Geaux: With all my eggs in the Oil & LNG basket, I'm probably gonna move to the bathtub with my trusty friend toasty!
[+6] u/GoZukkYourself: It's going to be a long night of downvoting for 🌈🐻s
[+6] u/Prethiraj: "Based on conversations with Prime Minister Shehbaz Sharif and Field Marshal Asim Munir, of Pakistan, and wherein they requested that I hold off the destructive force being sent tonight to Iran, and subject to the Islamic Republic of Iran agreeing to the COMPLETE, IMMEDIATE, and SAFE OPENING of the Strait of Hormuz, I agree to suspend the bombing and attack of Iran for a period of two weeks.
This will be a double sided CEASEFIRE!
The reason for doing so is that we have already met and exceeded all Military objectives, and are very far along with a definitive Agreement concerning Longterm PEACE with Iran, and PEACE in the Middle East.
We received a 10 point proposal from Iran, and believe it is a workable basis on which to negotiate. Almost all of the various points of past contention have been agreed to between the United States and Iran, but a two week period will allow the Agreement to be finalized and consummated.
On behalf of the United States of America, as President, and also representing the Countries of the Middle East, it is an Honor to have this Longterm problem close to resolution.
Thank you for your attention to this matter!" - President Trump.
[+6] u/i_goon_to_tomboys___: say with me: NOTHING EVER HAPPENS
[+6] u/Treverer: 🌮 spent billions just to show what a big pussy he is
[+6] u/Alone_Education_2530: Does it annoy anyone else that all of the news that moves the market happens outside of trading hours? This shit is so dumb.
[+6] u/Ssjalexgd4: GHEY BERS actually wanted mango to nuke Iran LOL. Shame on them, and now their portfolio just got nuked instead LMAO
[+5] u/GhostHashira427: Pouring out some liquor for my bear homies
[+5] u/Ok-End-3213: Wait, this isn't a ceasefire. They are just saying they will not bomb civil infra in exchange for hormuz being opened?
[+5] u/swenau01: You just know that this was intentionally announced after market close
[+5] u/-nosrac-: What agreement was made with Iran for this huge after hours pump to happen?
[+28] u/McKoijion: > IRAN SUPREME SECURITY COUNCIL WARNS "FINGERS ON THE TRIGGER" & ANY ENEMY MISTAKE WILL DRAW FULL FORCE RESPONSE; SAYS 10-POINT US PROPOSAL INCLUDES ACCEPTANCE OF URANIUM ENRICHMENT
Lol, it looks like people are starting to read the fine print.
[+25] u/victoryboiiTCG: Trump officially the first female president
[+24] u/MaybeNecessaryEnough: lmao iran saying US is allowing them to enrich uranium now
[+22] u/MasterElite1: Bro lost all American bases in the region
Has to pay Iran billions in damages
Iran takes hormuz control and charges fees
Petrodollar gone
Massive defeat
[+19] u/Fair-Cranberry4832: The poor guy that sold his 678 4/17 calls for a 7k loss and then got puts today is probably losing his mind rn😭😭
[+18] u/kim82352: > CNN: Iran says it has achieved a great victory and forced the United States to accept its 10-point plan, according to a statement from Iran’s Supreme National Security Council.
> As part of the plan, the US has in principle agreed to lift all primary and secondary sanctions against Iran, the council said.
> It has also agreed to accept Iran’s nuclear enrichment and recognize its continued control over the Strait of Hormuz, according to the council.
[+18] u/glrock: No way Israel lasts all night with out bombing kids - red at open
[+18] u/aaapod: 6 hours ago we were annihilating an entire civilization
[+17] u/McKoijion: > JUST IN: Missile alert sounds in the United Arab Emirates after Iran, US say they’ve reached a two-week ceasefire
> JUST IN: Israel says it detects an incoming Iranian missile barrage despite US, Iran saying 2-week ceasefire reached
https://apnews.com/live/iran-war-israel-trump-04-07-2026#0000019d-6a4a-dff3-a79f-efcea1940000
> WHITE HOUSE OFFICIAL: US EXPECTS TIME NEEDED FOR CEASEFIRE ORDERS TO REACH LOWER RANKS OF IRGC - AXIOS
If Netanyahu responds with a missile, the entire ceasefire is gone.
[+17] u/wildcat1055: This morning: "a whole civilization will die tonight"
12 hours later: "we have already achieved all our military objectives"
ok bro
[+16] u/idanfl8: lol 🥭started a war and his only achievement was to open something that was open before? 👏👏 what a win
[+16] u/tika_dengu: Denmark wishes they had gone into war over Greenland. Could’ve walked away with Alaska and a few more states while keeping Greenland.
[+16] u/brizzario: Here we are jerking off over a potential ceasefire on a war that made zero sense only two months ago. Good times.
[+15] u/FunInteraction9796: ??? we agreed to their terms so we lost
[+15] u/2020isgreat: Iran claims US has agreed to letting Iran have enriched Uranium and lift all sanctions on it whilst letting it control the Strait Of Hormuz.
I highly doubt this is true but atp who knows
[+15] u/GTFOScience: Does Iran know about the ceasefire? They’re bombing Israel on tv live right now.
[+15] u/mackey88: Israel already voicing concerns. Irans statement wasn’t written by an angry child and makes the US statement looks like child’s plays.
This won’t last.
Wish I had money to buy puts at open.
[+15] u/FlowerLizard: Time to get back to the Epstein files
[+14] u/YOLOdollhair: Did anyone actually see Iran’s 10 point plan? And the US says this is negotiable lmao. See you guys at the same spot in two weeks.
[+13] u/McClintockC: 🚨**BREAKING**🚨
Bers flabberghasted, bamboozled, as market behaves irrationally for 97th consecutive day this year.
[+13] u/Fit_Slide508: Iran's 10th point should have been 10 more wishes.
[+13] u/Quick1711: This pump will die by morning. There is no fucking way this holds over those terms
[+13] u/acaddgc: i’m in kuwait and literally right now the sirens are sounding because of a new wave of missiles/drones, do iran know how a ceasefire works
[+13] u/Traditional-Fan-3391: SPY futures are up 2% because of a 2 week ceasefire, so if there’s a permanent ceasefire SPY should literally go up by infinity percent
[+13] u/Iamhappilyconfused: God this shit is so funny to watch, at this point I no longer have the emotional capacity to care anymore and treat it as comedy, I wonder what the next two weeks will bring
[+13] u/TrumpsCummyOnahole: This is gonna fade overnight
[+13] u/FinePerformance1046: 50/50 between pumping to 700 or reversing horribly
[+12] u/Bofa12313: Mango surrendered to Iran LMAO🤌
[+12] u/Flea_Mac_Daddy: Never has there been a leader who has been able to fix so many problems of his own creation.
[+12] u/Swiftnice: Imagine if Iran agreed to this so they could launch a surprise attack during negotiations like we did to them twice lol
[+12] u/Retaining-Wall: So wait this ceasefire plan is Iran gets everything it asked for?????????
I'm not denying that it's a thing, I'm glad markets are up, but that plan seems....kinda fried, no?
[+12] u/xeuropa: So 🌮 accepted the 10 point peace plan that Iran proposed previously that 🌮said was “not good enough.” But now it is apparently good enough. Art of the Deal💃🕺💃🕺
[+12] u/Elons-Musky-Balls: They are already shooting missiles at the UAE again lol. Welp that didn’t last long
[+12] u/DifficultGarlic6: I do wonder how long this ceasefire will last though
These are the 10 demands of Iran:
1. Commitment to non-aggression
2. Iran’s control over the Strait of Hormuz
3. Acceptance of Iran's uranium enrichment
4. Lifting of all primary sanctions
5. Lifting of all secondary sanctions
6. Termination of all UN Security Council resolutions
7. Termination of all Board of Governors resolutions
8. Paying compensation to Iran
9. Withdrawal of US combat forces from the region
10. Cessation of war on all fronts, including in Lebanon
Trump says this plan is "a workable basis." This would be utter humilation for Trump if Iran manages to get even half the terms through.
[+12] u/StirfriedDogMeat: I can’t believe we have another 2 1/2 years of this
[+12] u/DesignerSea494: Believe it or not, Epstein.
[+12] u/aaapod: the stupidest thing that has ever happened in the entire history of this planet by far
[+12] u/GuiltyShirt3771: If trump accepts all the Iran demands, then America actually is losing
[+12] u/mtol115: Israel is going to break the ceasefire watch
[+12] u/Swiftnice: Negotiations don't even start until Friday? Something's gonna blow up before that lol Just in time for markets to close for the weekend haha
[+12] u/SnickersTheDog: Doesn't seem like there's an actual agreement. Iran acting like the US has surrendered and accepted demands, and mango acting like it's just a ceasefire offer. The parties are not on the same page here it seems.
[+12] u/SecurityFar1910: So both sides are announcing deals that don't exist. What a clusterfuck.
[+11] u/TestingLifeThrow1z: Okay, I read the 10 points. Hooo Leee Shieeeet no way that was agreed to??
[+11] u/zeusbox: This pump is not going to last till open tomorrow, is it?
[+11] u/Vast_Presentation909: The fucking 1 time i hold puts overnight. 1 fucking time
[+11] u/theineffablebob: "Hedge Funds Post Largest Net Short on Global Equities in 13 Years"
are we about to see the biggest unwind of our lives
[+11] u/confused_teabagger: My guess is Israel agreed to a fake cease-fire because T promised to restock them over the next two weeks. Then talks will "fall apart" and then they can do more precise infrastructure targeting
[+11] u/Ok-Indication-3754: The last pro Israel generation is among us
[+11] u/dinanm4: This feels so fucking good to see people lose, who were excited to watch the world burn and for a war to break out so they can profit. Fuck all of your short sellers.
Berz get fucked in the mouth once again. It always happens. It’s just a matter of when.
God bless America
[+11] u/tylerleist44: If you think Israel is going to fly with this and not drag the U.S right back into full force think again
[+11] u/Revolver_Lanky_Kong: Iran’s 10-point peace plan:
Guarantee that Iran will not be attacked again
Permanent end to the war, not just a ceasefire
End to Israeli strikes in Lebanon
Lifting of all US sanctions on Iran
End to all regional fighting against Iranian allies
Iran would reopen the Strait of Hormuz
Iran would impose a $2m fee per ship transiting Hormuz
Iran would split these fees with Oman
Iran would establish rules for safe passage through Hormuz
Iran would use Hormuz fees for reconstruction instead of reparations
If Iran got even half this list, it'd be a major strategic victory and the most humiliating defeat in American history. This is a non-starter for the US. Seems much more likely mango is desperate for some good PR and temporary market relief while actual negotiation efforts will fall through.
[+11] u/McKoijion: This is kind of wild. Any regional IRGC commander in Iran can basically can launch as many drones and missiles as they want at Israel, the UAE, Saudi Arabia, etc. for the next few hours/days. The US is already trying to explain it away as fog of war/lack of communication between the top brass and the regional IRGC commanders. The US has spent the past few weeks saying that there's no centralized leadership or communication between the regional commanders because of the US-Israeli attacks so this fits with the narrative.
If Israel responds with an attack, they're violating the ceasefire. Iran's Supreme Security Council says they have their fingers on the trigger and any enemy mistake will draw a full force response. So Netanyahu has no choice but to sit back and accept the attacks without responding. This is a ceasefire he doesn't even want and all he has to do to destroy it is launch one missile at Iran in response. There's no credible cover story where a random Israeli commander can launch an attack without Netanyahu's approval.
It's like a boxing or MMA fight where someone gets a knockout blow and then gets as many hits in as they can before the ref blows the whistle.
[+11] u/OkResponsibility2470: Lmao, there’s no
Way this ceasefire is real right? There’s no way we bombed Iran and went through all of this bullshit for 🥭 to achieve none of His stated goals while iran gets most of theirs? No fucking way, he’s gonna taco the taco 100%
[+11] u/The_Big_D69: Of course Iran accepts they get everything they wanted lol
[+11] u/ItsHighNoonBang: What Iran got: sanctions removed, 60 bill a year, and an estimated 200bil for damages
What u.s. got: reopen strait of hormuz
[+11] u/wildcat1055: **Isn't there somebody you forgot to ask?**
Iran: I consent
🥭: I consent
Bibi: I DON'T!
[+11] u/Val44x: PAKISTAN SAVED THE MARKET LMAO
[+11] u/Individual_Error_428: Bull trap, Costco gas still high.
[+11] u/Bob_the_peasant: God he’s so fucking dumb.
*wipes tears with printing spy calls*
So fucking dumb
[+11] u/Pretend_Bluebird_53: Can’t everyone see how much munipulation this is thats its always after market this gets announced
[+11] u/Spicyboi981: So how much of my taxes went to fund a files distraction and market grift
[+10] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: Wait so did we just agree to withdrawing all forces from the region too? LMAO the American empire is dead
[+10] u/Ghost-1969: Fuck it 2 big booty Latinas tonight 🦅
[+10] u/Valkorion335786: Statistically speaking
Someone went bankrupt on USO calls and it currently crying
[+10] u/Capt_Chickenpox: I mostly hate how orchestrated this must have been, that i fell for it was my own fault
[+10] u/rootyoot: I’m such a genius for waiting till tomorrow to fill my gas
[+10] u/XXX_KimJongUn_XXX: They want all sanctions gone, a nuclear program, tolling, a end to the US military presence in the middle east, war reparations. Taco will probably give it all to them lol. Peace in the middle east.
[+10] u/LouieM13: No way Israel doesn’t fuck up this ceasefire (give them like 3 days)
[+10] u/DesignerSea494: My ancestors came to the US for the California Gold Rush. Grandpa always told me, "Don't be the guy digging for gold, be the guy selling the shovels."
I sell condoms behind the Wendy's Dumpster.
[+10] u/2020isgreat: Secret condition of the ceasefire is Iran can still launch missiles lmao
[+10] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: Hey remember that whole thing about the straight of Hormuz lmao that was wild
[+10] u/BFox1982: It's all fun and games until you realize we still have the same president.
[+9] u/magneticpasta9: We do not negotiate with terrorists...unless they control 20% of the worlds oil. The new US army motto
[+9] u/csekseni1: This is straight exit liquidity farming. Disgusting
[+9] u/tika_dengu: Bers deleting Al Jazeera from their phones
[+9] u/Karl-Levin: How can people believe this is the end of the war? As if Israel would honor any cease fire.
[+9] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Does a bear shit in the woods?
Well the have to now, theyre homeless
[+9] u/emanresu711: Damn it’s so easy for them to make money
[+9] u/Poor_Life-choices: Was just on pornhub and there's a video of some dude in a turban dicking down an old orange guy.
[+9] u/DrummerCompetitive20: i guess people forgot about jobs and inflation LOL
[+9] u/Blyrone__Blashinton: 🥭 will be back to making threats and probably bombing before the end of the weekend once he’s had the chance to hear on Fox News about how this deal is and looks like admitting defeat with worse conditions than before.
[+9] u/Terrible-Session5028: I think it will dump at open.
[+9] u/poopermacho: Gonna jerk off to this pump before Iran says the pool is still closed
[+9] u/Individual_Error_428: It turns red by morning lmao
[+9] u/mangofruitdude: Lmao oil -15% bears fukt. But why do i have a feeling this ceasefire dont last the 2 weeks?
[+9] u/WombatShwambat: 🥭- “Listen Barron, load up on calls today after I tweet a nuke threat to the world, it’s taco Tuesday”
[+9] u/MoreOutcome8541: Institutions will sell into strength, it’s too easy. Long dated puts if you want lucrative returns
[+9] u/grimandnordic1: SPY +15,000,000% tomorrow
[+9] u/broke_person: Bulls ready to buy tomorrow. Spy +6%
[+9] u/SoloOutdoor: Good thing we destroyed all that oil and gas
[+8] u/PossibleLack835: YALL REMEMBER WHEN BERS WERE HAVING A FIELD DAY THE WEEKEND OF MARCH 30? LMAO TURNS OUT THAT WAS THE BOTTOM
[+8] u/CatsBy6969: According to cnn we’re still totally fucked
[+8] u/xjcln: So Iran agreed to the truce but said safe passage through Hormuz will be “coordinated with Irans armed forces” and with “due consideration of technical limitations”
Feel like the tolls continue?
Per PBS: https://www.pbs.org/newshour/amp/world/irans-supreme-national-security-council-says-it-has-accepted-two-week-ceasefire-in-the-war
[+8] u/whyshw: My takeaway is to never ever ever take anything seriously again
[+8] u/Huat-Ah-Huat: BiBi is probably not happy on this deal lol..
[+8] u/zbossman42: UAE missile alerts going off as well now
[+8] u/UnknownM007: Ceasefire holding so strong rn. 2 stratotankers just left Tel Aviv and heading towards Iran 20 mins ago
[+8] u/Normal_Tap3021: so puts tomorrow 30 mins after open?
[+8] u/BEAR_STEARNS_CEO: This just means we'll be stuck in the 675-695 range for another 6 months 🤣🤣
[+8] u/Spicyboi981: SPY earnings must have been crazy
[+8] u/SlippinJimmy697: Spy flat on 10% oil pump but immediately surges when oil dumps. Heads I win tails you lose type shit
[+8] u/confused_teabagger: Israel claiming that Iran just shot a missile at them, in flight now.
[+7] u/kim82352: > Israel is "not too happy" with the ceasefire according to Fox News.
[+7] u/NatasEvoli: Iran must not have read the tweet. More missiles launched at Israel just now.
[+7] u/wildcat1055: Will I be able to afford filling up my 2002 Corolla's gas tank tomorrow?
stay tuned
[+7] u/Auzou: Anddd the strait is still not accepting new customers. Is Iran aware they are to cease fire? LMAO
Just keep pushing back infinity and oil will magically appear!
[+7] u/Waste-Milk2716: Bears wondering all day why it’s not dumping as if insiders didn’t already know what would happen
[+7] u/jokull1234: Trump set a deadline for TACO Tuesday and bears still didn’t see it coming
[+7] u/Ok-Indication-3754: Where do I see this Iranian bombing continuing
[+6] u/Notable_Naps: I have an actual question.
Why is the market so keen on rising to break the ATH at a time when gas prices are higher, general cost for the consumer is up, rate cuts aren't looking really possible, and a jackass yelling the n word? Especially when the previous 6 months before hand it wasn't doing shit but playing games.
I know the market irrational usual line but I feel like there has to be something deeper. But I'm asking fellow regards here so I guess I'm just yelling into the wind.
[+6] u/Same-Tie8083: At this point i want a missile to blow me up
[+6] u/MrT_IDontFeelSoGood: Taste of your own medicine Israel lol
[+6] u/TempestDrive: No one copes harder than a ber on a +5% day & no one celebrates harder than a ber on a -.01% day
[+6] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Glad I sold my puts for a small loss instead of losing everything tomorrow.
#Growth
[+6] u/Bofa12313: Imagine this all ends with him making the same exact deal Obama made🤣.
[+5] u/Pure_Record1327: I’m Down 10k in one week. I’m gonna use another 10k to get it back
[+27] u/wrongrobertpatrick: https://preview.redd.it/0jvckwoz5vtg1.jpeg?width=1320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fe0bf9faac6b8f8ba46c4850cb77f9a73ad3b5bd
bers not lying but market doesn’t care
[+26] u/Inner-Cobbler-2432: The ceasefire, supposedly considered by the US, includes iran being allowed to enrich uranium, having full control of hormuz and the US paying reparations - by official statement of Iran (lmao).
Meanwhile, Iran and Israel bombing the shit out of each other as we speak.
Solid ceasefire McTaco.
[+24] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: Life is probably a lot easier if you're just retarded
[+21] u/jersey856: Donnie bombs Iran and closes straight
Weeks and billions $ later, they announce the straight will be open for two weeks.
Bulls: New ATH incoming. So much winning. Creating a problem then fixing it, for two weeks, is the exact economic medicine we needed. Also, ‘I’ll take $6.38 on pump 2 please’
[+21] u/poopieuser909: oils falling is hillarious since the delays in shipment and the destructions of a bunch of refineries is already gonna have reverberating costs increases for consumers, but at the same time this market too fucked for logic anyways.
[+20] u/Ape02: Most embarrassing surrender in history by taco lmao
[+20] u/Killersax: Israel about to pull some whack bullshit in the coming days and start bombing again
[+18] u/gjbaca17: Believe it or not, puts. They should be on a discount tomorrow.
[+18] u/twenty_three_three: 13min ago update from NYT
>Countries around the Persian Gulf, including Kuwait, the United Arab Emirates and Qatar, reported missile and drone attacks shortly after Iran and the United States announced the cease-fire deal. The U.A.E. defense ministry and the Israeli military said they were countering attacks from Iran. The Kuwaiti army said its air defenses were detecting missile and drone attacks, while the Qatari defense ministry said it had intercepted a missile attack.
Sure seems like this whole thing is going to work out well.
[+18] u/whitehypeman: Iran's ten point plan, lol:
1. The US must fundamentally commit to guaranteeing non-aggression.
2. Continuation of Iran’s control over the Strait of Hormuz.
3. Acceptance that Iran can enrich uranium for its nuclear program
4. Removal of all primary sanctions on Iran.
5. Removal of all secondary sanctions against foreign entities that do business with Iranian institutions).
6. End of all United Security Council resolutions targeting Iran.
7. End of all International Atomic Energy Agency resolutions on Iran’s nuclear program.
8. Compensation payment to Iran for war damage.
9. Withdrawal of US combat forces from the region.
10. Cease-fire on all fronts, including Israel’s conflict with Hezbollah in Lebanon.
[+18] u/VeterinarianDear2401: Okay guys, So we amassed 50k troops in the region to call a ceasefire???
[+18] u/TacticalTackleBox: It doesn't make any sense. The white house is saying it never agreed to the terms Iran posted, and Israel is currently getting hit with Iranian missiles.
Is there a fucking ceasefire or not
[+16] u/Cashmoneytendies: The strait went from international waters to an Iran army controlled and tolled. Too much winning
[+16] u/kryptonyk: Bay of Pigs level embarrassing if they can toll the straight and enrich uranium lmao
[+16] u/Anxious-Pear4200: Looks like Trump is still negotiating with himself. Bombs dropping.
[+16] u/kellyk311: Cool. Cool, cool right. So like, as a taxpayer, this stunt here cost me like... my entire Medicare payout due to me in 15 years, or like... ballpark. Whats the take off -haha just kidding- cost of fully costumed b52?
Yanno, for giggles. Whats it cost to say just *stage* a war now days?
I DIDN'T EVEN WATCH THE GD APPRENTICE ON CABLE AND NOW IM PAYING TO WATCH SHITTY CABLE PLAY OUT IRL?¿!!!? WHAT IN THE MOTHERFUCKINGACTUALFUCKING25THOFALLTHEDEMENTIAGODDAMNMOTHERFUCK - holy shit. Where's the Tylenol.
[+16] u/DroidArbiter: A ceasefire between the three most untrustworthy players on the board LOL. There is no way Israel will allow the 907lbs of enriched uranium to be held in Iran. If they don't get it in a deal, this whole thing gets much, much worse.
[+15] u/whitepug: all of that just for a little insider trading
[+15] u/All_FIREdUp: Oh my fucking god I just lost my wife and I’s entire house fund on fucking puts
[+15] u/Aware-Teacher5389: Bull or Bear doesn’t matter, but if we are negotiating based on the 10 point peace plan published on aljazeera then Jesus Christ what a terrible waste of resources.
[+15] u/strawberrygirlmusic: Gulf state are saying that they're still dealing with missiles and drones. Cluster munitions are still hitting Israel.
Starting to think those reports about decentralization of the IRGC at the start of the war were true. The guys at the top might not have control.
Edit:
Tbh idc about the markets right now. I hope the peace lasts, but it's hard to believe in that. I'm sick of all the death.
[+15] u/tnecniv2021: Holy fuk. Biggest reversal ever incoming. War back on the menu bois
[+15] u/WestBrink: I think we can all agree that the prime minister of Pakistan deserves a Nobel peace prize. Who on earth has done more to advance the cause of peace?
Plus it would be real funny...
[+15] u/thefrozen_one: Iran: We made a cease-fire with the US not Israel! ALALALA
[+15] u/iGotStuckIn: This is a DOUBLE sided ceasefire! - 🥭
Fucking regard
[+14] u/Force_Hammer: Congratulations!
https://preview.redd.it/demyp6vm4vtg1.png?width=1408&format=png&auto=webp&s=501fea20ddadcc93e86463d626d1a0e3cfb7798a
[+14] u/Bulky_Cartoonist_110: Wait Iran gets to collect fees on the straight, gets a promise not to be attacked again, embargoes removed and zero issues with its nuclear program? They swept the board!
[+14] u/severed02: I completely forgot about the Epstein files. Well played 🥭.
[+14] u/the_mind_goblin1: Bears be like "it won't hold" 😂 "this is manipulation" 😂 all you had to do is buy calls
[+13] u/Useful_Donut6789: im gonna have to assume he kicked the can down 2 weeks to have USS Boxer (the 2nd Marine expeditionary unit) and USS George HW bush arrive in the middle east (both ETA mid april) before engaging Iran militarily. Bc otherwise if this is admins genuine attempt to off ramp by negotiating around Iran 10 pt plan, that would be the greatest strategic blunder by a US admin in its history bar none
[+13] u/arkeus1: How long till 🌮realises he has been scammed by iranians?
[+13] u/Hungry-Brain-3287: https://preview.redd.it/y9zvhd7o9vtg1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=04b0c1d67c9893f5e36c42982a0c0e9504124666
[+13] u/mklomp7: I put 25k in $110 USO puts for Jan 27’ … I may cry from sheer joy tomorrow
[+12] u/tnecniv2021: Ceasefire my ass. Shit still popping off! Red very soon
[+12] u/Aware_Beezzz: UAE reports missiles and drones from Iran.
[+12] u/Rich-Badger-7601: Lmao oil is already spiking back up, some of you boys holding FDs are still getting wiped out tomorrow morning
[+12] u/John-AtlasGames: Israeli air force still attacking Iran, say reports; Iran still launching missiles. I guess this is just the US backing off the threat of bombing civilian infrastructure on a massive scale.
[+12] u/Daveonaltair4: Reports are that the they already broke it bombing Isreal, lol
[+12] u/edapalooza: Melania going to use her BBC strap-on tonight.
[+12] u/HomeMadeToast: I’m reading a Peter Lynch book rn and he’s going on and on about fundamentals - cash flows, de and pe ratios, yadda yadda. Crazy how ~30 years later none of that matters anymore.
[+12] u/TheNicestRedditor: So we can talk about these Epstein files again right?
[+12] u/soccer29801830: I realized trying to follow the news every minute of the day is bad for my mental health, so time to go back to being gæ and DCA’ing cuz markets apparently only go up 📈
[+12] u/Vulthen1: We also a need a ceasefire for no more truth posts for the next 2 weeks.
[+12] u/imonkaS: Tomorrow going to find out straight still closed because no one knows if the mines were real or not
[+12] u/xironically23: Who would've known a 2 week ceasefire adds 14$ to spy 😭
[+11] u/Vulthen1: My condolences to the the people who will end up blowing their accounts when the market opens tomorrow morning 🙏🙏🙏🛐🛐
[+11] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: If bulls think America are gonna let Iran run shit and charge $2M a ship to go through the strait, they are out of their Wendy's flipping mind.
[+11] u/LaserAid69: It would be hilarious if the market still opens red tomorrow
[+11] u/rajadirajadiraja: So 100 ships per day with $2m per ship gives Iran $73b per year? Winning?
[+11] u/Chlo-Motion: I have calls and even I think this whole thing is regarded
[+11] u/damnthatbooty: Wait so Israel and Iran still trading blows we just aren’t bombing anything so confused why is this so retarded lmao
[+10] u/Les7X: Ah yes, once again moving trillions over rumours. You know what? It's about time we have a 2008-like clusterfuck to fuck some MMs over
[+10] u/darkspherei: RELEASE THE EPSTEIN FILES!!!
[+10] u/sftheory: Japan and US probably used that pump (oil dip) to close their shorts.
[+10] u/SchwiftySchwifferson: Shorts covering. Pump will be sold off by morning.
Market will trade sideways and theta will be the ultimate victors tomorrow.
[+10] u/Legitimate-Ant6838: Imagine this goes back to today lows tomorrow lol
[+10] u/Initial_Ad_9250: Anyone of yous played that game and watched the show " Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?" My favorite latina
[+10] u/PopularCut4124: Someone tell Iran that ceasefire doesn’t mean hit the uae gas fields
[+9] u/SimpleSecond1895: Ceasefire announced, meanwhile currently missiles getting launched on Israel :)
[+9] u/Perfectbarrel57: Red alert in southern Israel
[+9] u/Leading_Form_8485: 2 more weeks of bullshit my dudes. Gamblers paradise.
[+9] u/housemouse431: earnings are incoming end of april, were pumping to ATH on spy and qqq until then. dont go short here, wait until middle of may
[+9] u/Pereise1: So now Israel is gonna stop invading Lebanon right? Right???
[+9] u/soapchewer2: So this was all a plan to cut healthcare and fuck government spending to put more money in the pockets of billionaires. While also increasing the cost of gas and food by 100%+?? Gg bulls you fucking did it.
[+8] u/KachThebest69: I will never doubt 🥭s ability to taco again
[+8] u/starentbrett: 680 tomorrow, then a 1% mini dump. Book it
[+6] u/interstellara_: he taco-ed, who would have thought. oh wait, everyone
[+6] u/TippyTippyTippyTop: I bought puts. Thank you. And you’re welcome.
[+25] u/Fkn1v1mem8: America has knee capped itself and shown immense weakness to the world. RIP 1776-2026
[+23] u/TyroneSwoopes: So Iran wants all their assets unfrozen/sanctions lifted, reparations for damage, and toll control of the strait going forward? Lmao this shit is dead on arrival.
[+23] u/issurvey: Based on the tweet he is thinking about giving them almost everything. Man, what a massive waste of time and resources
[+23] u/ProudRaccoon4653: Israel is about to false flag the US right back into this thing.
[+19] u/Country_Gravy420: So we lost the war? It sounds like Iran gets everything and we get nothing?
[+17] u/kex06: Trump really did kill an entire civilization...
Of bears hahaha
[+17] u/sonofalando: • Mar 3: "We won the war."
• Mar 7: "We defeated Iran."
• Mar 9: "We must attack Iran."
• Mar 9: "The war is ending almost completely, and very beautifully."
• Mar 11: “You never like to say too early you won. We won. In the first hour it was over.”
• Mar 12: "We did win, but we haven't won completely yet."
• Mar 13: "We won the war."
• Mar 14: "Please help us."
• Mar 15: "If you don't help us, I will certainly remember it."
• Mar 16: "Actually, we don't need any help at all."
• Mar 16: "I was just testing to see who's listening to me."
• Mar 16: "If NATO doesn't help, they will suffer something very bad."
• Mar 17: "We neither need nor want NATO's help."
• Mar 17: "I don't need Congressional approval to withdraw from NATO."
• Mar 18: "Our allies must cooperate in reopening the Strait of Hormuz."
• Mar 19: "US allies need to get a grip - step up and help open the Strait of Hormuz."
• Mar 20: "NATO are cowards."
• Mar 21: "The Strait of Hormuz must be protected by the countries that use it. We don't use it, we don't need to open it."
• Mar 22: "This is the last time. I will give Iran 48 hours. Open the strait"
• Mar 22: "Iran is Dead"
• Mar 23: "We had very good and productive talks with Iran."
• Mar 24: "We’re making progress."
• Mar 25: “They gave us a present and the present arrived today. And it was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money. I’m not going to tell you what that present is, but it was a very significant prize.”
• Mar 26: "Make a deal, or we’ll just keep blowing them away."
• Mar 27: "We don’t have to be there for NATO."
• Mar 28: No major quote
• Mar 29: Claimed talks were progressing
• Mar 30: "Open the Strait of Hormuz immediately, or face devastating consequences."
• Mar 31: Claimed a deal was "very close" and that Iran would "do the right thing"
• Apr 1: "We’ll see what happens very soon."
• Apr 2: Repeated that a deal was likely, while warning of continued strikes if not
• Apr 3: "Something big is going to happen."
• Apr 4: Said Iran must comply "immediately" or face further consequences. "Tuesday 8 PM ET".
• Apr 5: "Open the fuckin' Strait, you crazy bastards, or you'll be living in Hell - JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah."
• Apr 6: "We can bomb the hell out of them"
• Apr 7: "A whole civilization will die tonight"
[+16] u/No-Insurance100: Ber/bol talk aside, this is very humiliating for the United States if they actually hold to the agreement, which is all the reason it likely won't
[+16] u/Hot_Sacks: Bears scanning the news tonight desperately praying for any signs of either side reneging on the ceasefire, throwing the world back into chaos
[+16] u/sck178: I'll give it like 12 hours before Israel starts bombing Iran again
[+15] u/RomanJohnWick: Trump will negotiate a worse agreement with Iran and the market will still rally. That's why this system needs to burn back down to reality
[+15] u/cowman711: Sold all my puts around 3pm today W
[+15] u/old-cow666: Bro this feels like a fuckin trap , how does the market even move like this holy shit 😭
[+15] u/ToadallyNormalHuman: The market manipulation is real lmao
[+15] u/MakeOSUGreatAgain63: I bet we erase all these gains by Friday
Seems like bombings are not stopping from both sides
[+14] u/sylphvanas: Was too busy at work today and didn’t check my account. Hope my puts are printing 🤑
[+14] u/swampassOG: Bers living off cheese slices and sink water
[+13] u/Due_Explanation8427: Can we agree 🥭 is a pussy he even said no more delays dude can’t stand for shit
[+13] u/tristis_veritas: Breaking --- Trump wins long coveted Nobel Peace Prize for stopping Trump from destroying an entire civilization.
[+13] u/spky_: Lmao if the 10 point plan that's circulating online is legit, I'm loading up on puts
[+13] u/No-Insurance100: Oil is recovering after falling 15% because no one understands what was actually agreed to
The Strait isn't "open" like before the war, it would be dramatically lower volume per day + $2 million toll
[+13] u/bluen: whoever bought $24M of QQQ puts was a dumass
[+13] u/TJMBeav: Let me clarify for you guys.
There is a cease fire
Both the US and Iranian "bullet" points are the ***BASIS*** for talks.
There is zero chance this results in a permanent cease fire
It doesn't matter. The major US strikes are over.
Isreal hasn't acknowledged the cease fire as far as I have heard. Again. It doesn't matter. Our "war" is over.
I'd short oil to about $85 to $90 range and then close em. Short away on SPY. 670 is the ceiling
[+13] u/bullishchilipepper10: Israel gonna fuck this up somehow
[+13] u/aqjingson: First USA ship in line at the strait tomorrow: “Please after you, I insist” 😬
[+12] u/One-Process-6547: Goodnight gentlemen. Have to wake up early to sell everything for +200%
[+12] u/Shoganai_Hito: Morning dump after folks actually read and understand the 10-pt plan. How the fuck are we better off than before
[+12] u/Fatt-Elvis: "Donald Trump’s negotiation basis centers on maximizing leverage through extreme, often public, opening demands (anchoring), unpredictability, and a willingness to walk away. His approach, detailed in The Art of the Deal and practiced as president, prioritizes power over conventional, nuanced diplomacy, frequently utilizing threats, "good cop/bad cop" switches, and, in 2026, reportedly adopting specific opponent frameworks."
If I Googled this before the market closed today I'd finally be a millionaire
[+12] u/shindiggaa: Tomorrow may be the day I climb back to 0% all time
[+12] u/TechnologyEven6926: we are completely doing a u turn in about
45 minutes
LMFAO
[+12] u/would-rather-read: i take back everything i said this week. I guess he really can taco
[+12] u/HunterThompsonsentme: WHY DIDNT I JUST BUY CALLS
HE ALWAYS BITCHES OUT
I KNOW IT
YOU KNOW IT
BUT I WAS TOO SCARED
MY HANDS WERE LIKE PAPER
MY HEART WAS LIKE GLASS
WITH A 401(k)
AND A THUMB UP MY ASS
LIKE SO MUCH GRAFFITI
ON SO MANY STALLS
I'LL SOON BE FORGOTTEN
I SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT CALLS
[+11] u/s1n0d3utscht3k: https://preview.redd.it/dij8646eovtg1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac631f5f2595597b5a781ade5489e028f6a79110
[+11] u/cinJESUS: i used to be a bull with a port of red; now i am a bear with a port of red
🤣🤣🤣
[+11] u/GodLevelRedditor: Im glad iran learned their lesson for whatever it is they did
[+10] u/canwequitnow: Was bragging to my gf about how I made $300 in 30 minutes after market open, and then an hour before close I half-ported into puts then went to take a nap and now I'm SWEATING
[+10] u/Split_Seconds: Remember, American service members died for this.
[+10] u/BorrisZ: I wonder when people realize that tankers will have to pay Iran a toll.
[+10] u/Illustrious_Lion7671: Just watched a video about how Israel has a specialized task force to collect semen from their dead soldiers. 😱What a weird ass nation
[+10] u/Shoganai_Hito: #6 of 10 point plan:
Full payment of compensation for reconstruction costs to Iran
[+10] u/No_Arm_6582: While the regard threatens to “eliminate civilization” or whatever the fk, educated diplomats negotiated this deal and kudos to them…. Imagine working under this fkin idiot
[+9] u/ClarkFable: Man, Tango starting to look like the guy who drank the wrong grail in the Last Crusade.
[+9] u/Complex-Arm3922: So apparently he was referring to the bear civilization
[+9] u/MBBOrBust-: Just 3 more years of this guys no big deal
[+9] u/PompeiiSketches: There is exactly zero chance the US agreed to Iran's 10-point plan. I have a hard time believing that Trump agreed to allow Iran control the strait, which is what Iran is saying. That would be a humiliating defeat alone. More likely that this ceasefire is time to reload.
Or he is that desperate for an exit ramp.
[+9] u/Joij21: 🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮 TACO TUESDAY BOIS!!!!! 🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮
[+8] u/Popular_Song3371: # note this key qualifying phrase: "subject to the Islamic Republic of Iran agreeing to the COMPLETE, IMMEDIATE, and SAFE OPENING of the Strait of Hormuz"
[+8] u/AirportMaterial5917: What else is in store these next three years?
[+7] u/tomato232: Congrats to everyone here who held! I hope everyone gets rich! 🚀
[+7] u/catluck: A special delegation from Iran will oversee operations at the White House.
[+7] u/Fancy_Goat685: Bulls forgetting that Israel still gonna do Israel.
[+26] u/soad1331: So we spent 50 billion, lost 20 aircraft, and lost at least 15 people. Buuuut, now Iran gets total control of what was an international waterway, gets about 20 billion a year in fees from that, no longer has any sanctions at all, and is free to develop nuclear weapons. The art of the deal.
[+20] u/Rrrandomalias: So let me get this straight, we went to war with Iran, blew some shit up and then settled on a deal where Iran comes out ahead?
[+19] u/2Frum4U: Don’t worry bears you’re still right, you just didn’t make money.
[+19] u/Acceptable_Dirt69: Bers were AI bubble experts and now they are experts in geopolitics and energy
[+19] u/Arkadelt: Trump can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent
[+19] u/Ok-Decision3679: Am I the only one who thinks market overreacted? It’s just 2 weeks delay, deal is not done yet
[+18] u/w33dw1zard420: Nothing changed with the war except the Prez made some terroristic threats and retracted them = +2% markets
That’s your bull case?
[+17] u/buybananas: Taco was evident, but this pump looks to me a bit too much
[+15] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: #Jensen Huang is personally driving tankers through the Strait as we speak - Reuters
[+15] u/spellbadgrammargood: I love how bulls on this subreddit pretend they are leveraged with calls instead of DCA their shares.
[+14] u/itsamemyusername: Israel is gonna fck this up.
[+14] u/surely_not_abot: **BACK TO THE STONE AGE BER**
[+13] u/meatstick94: if SPY opens as green as it is right now, puts have to be the move. when trump promises something bad he’s usually bullshitting, but when he promises something good he’s usually also bullshitting
[+13] u/Slightlybadpicks: That moment when she comes over the first time and says ‘Wow you keep your house cleaner than a LOT OF OTHER GUYS’ 😭😭😭
[+13] u/Ok-Decision3679: Idk maybe it’s time to become stupid bull and just go long
[+13] u/Abject-Use498: How did he lose a war with Iran, insane.
[+12] u/These-Shoulder8017: US will replace the French as known for running away.
[+12] u/RyannCope: lost 75% of port today on 0dte spy calls. shouldve bought 1dte huh
[+12] u/ThinkingOfTheOldDays: Reporter: "Sir, the American public wants to know, why did you surrender to Iran?"
🥭: "We just surrendered?"
Reporter: "Yes."
🥭: "Wow. I didn’t know that. I just — you’re telling me now for the first time."
✋😔🤚
[+12] u/AdCritical5383: Imagine having a moderately intelligent slightly less sociopathic not quite old as fuck person at the helm.
Shit sounds like a fantasy after the last 10 years LMAO 🤌
[+12] u/Acceptable_Dirt69: When 🥭 said a civilization will die tonight, he was talking about bers
[+12] u/Zmemestonk: Sell my calls. That’s the move. This news is bs and I buy puts next week
[+11] u/ElonTaxiDriver: Nobody will remember:
- your watch
- your car
- your job
They will remember:
- your body fat percentage
- how hot your wife is
- how autistic you are
[+11] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: I’m up like 6% on the day just holding shares.
Bears taking a generational loss today.
[+11] u/Cardiologist_Actual: Am I retsrd for being all cash
[+10] u/Impressive-Mud-3362: This market doesn't believe in gravity, extremely frustrating for bear scientists
[+10] u/Taiyoken: So the takeaway from this is the US just gave up the petrodollar for the petroyuan? Also oil still is high, idk
[+10] u/Jadeclone1: Why is israel trying to nuke this ceasefire
[+10] u/ChampagnePapi-: it's not fair for us bears. there should be a circuit breaker if it goes up too much.
[+10] u/UnnecessaryPancake: I really did think about puts but I remembered two things:
Taco
and regarded market
This was my analysis and reason for calls
[+10] u/Aggravating-Donut568: damn a lot of people are going to make money tomorrow morning. little sad I’ve been sitting this whole thang out
[+10] u/Legitimate_Source_43: Isreal hasn't responded to this cease fire yet wonder if it's a one on one iran vs Isreal now
[+9] u/ssaxamaphone: Bulls thinking mango won’t 🌮 his 🌮
[+9] u/dickrichardson6969: So we went from an open strait to Iran charging $2 million a boat. It's almost too retarded to believe.
[+9] u/syedhuda: only thing that got nuked tonight was bers portfolios
[+9] u/568891: The proposed terms are ridiculous. What world are we in? Surely we aren’t this stupid. Or are we?
[+9] u/codespyder: Wednesday April 9, 2025: S&P 500 climbs 9.52% after tariffs are paused
Wednesday, April 8, 2026: S&P 500 climbs ??% after war with Iran is paused
Shit is so goddamn predictable
[+8] u/Xzlk: Easiest fucking money I’ve ever made holy shit
[+8] u/rightovahere: "subject to iran opening the strait" Did Iran actually ever agree to this🤔🤔?
[+8] u/ShutUpTodd: I take a nap and the apocalypse is cancelled?! I need to sleep more often
[+7] u/mannycalls24: A lot of bear cope in here saying it’s going back down. They don’t understand it’s over for them
[+7] u/Thin_Response_2689: No reason for the market to go down until the ceasefire is up, your puts are cooked stop the hopium
[+7] u/HwangingAround: Reuters reporting that bears are being pulled from their cars and homes and beaten and taken away in major U.S. cities.
[+6] u/pandadrizzle: Can’t help but be in awe at the scale of the financial crime happening right in front of everyone’s face.
[+19] u/iratezero: Got the house to myself. Me to my nut sack:
"A whole civilization will die tonight."
[+14] u/UnicornMilking: 🐻 There is no deal. The market is under the delusion that there is a deal. This is not a deal. 🐻
Calling Iran's 10 point plan a "basis for negotiation" is ludicrous It involves, among other things, relieving all sanctions, allowing enrichment of uranium (literally against the core objective of the conflict according to 🥭), withdrawal of US combat forces from all bases in the region, and, notably, full compensation for damages according to estimates. This is never going to happened.
[+14] u/NeedToMakeMoneyz: Welp. The ceasefire was total bullshit and Iran and Israel is bombing each other tonight. Hope I can get puts tomorrow before markets realize it.
[+14] u/Jebusfreek666: Iran says the attacks have to stop in Lebanon too. US agrees. Bibi say's nah, doesn't affect us and keeps attacking. We will open green, but if Iran keeps attacking or pulls out of negotiations because of this we are gonna fall hard.
[+12] u/kal14144: All it took was to praise Allah once and the market got fixed 🙏
[+12] u/PulIthEld: i made so much money today i ordered doordash and gave the driver max tip
[+12] u/Impressive-Name5129: Times of Israel.
> Israel continued to launch missiles at Iran after ceasefire.
>Iran continues to fire missiles at Israel. 3 young boys hurt.
Folks the truce is over. Continue to sell oil at $116 a barrel
[+11] u/tgff333: Can someone tell the gas stations the news
[+11] u/parallelogramm3r: This is the stupidest fucking shit I’ve ever seen. Basically nothing has changed since it dropped and it is basically back to pre Iran war levels.
[+11] u/Zetice: See yall in April 2027 for the next dump and rally to ATH.
[+11] u/yeedub: Use the dead cat bounce to get out tmr
[+11] u/asetniop: Iran should privately offer Mango himself a hefty cut of any strait fees - like on the order of 5% (that would be ~$10M on a typical day). I suspect it would be too tempting for him to resist.
[+11] u/HomeHedgeFund: Bers seething and coping so hard lmfao
[+11] u/timetopractice: Wallstreet Ayotollah said to sell when they pump it
PUTS TMRW
[+10] u/Slow-Information-847: y'all, nothing ever happened by the time the market open tomorrow. Iran resumed bombing Israel already because it claims the later has violated the deal.
[+10] u/timburgessthis: The amazing thing about this is in 2 weeks war will be back on.
[+10] u/GreenGameboyColor: Goodnight, my handsome friends 😴
[+9] u/Fun-Valuable-7355: Israel getting bombarded rn
[+8] u/ConfederacyOfDunces_: Do people not remember Ukraine? They had like 10 ceasefires and none of them every worked
[+8] u/ChillDictator: I like how fox is still taking trumps quotes literally while telling everyone don’t take him literally.
[+8] u/GoogleKushforLunch: Trading is basically on easy mode for the next few weeks
[+8] u/Castopliani: is it a ceasefire when you are nutting and take a break
[+7] u/Appropriate-Run-7490: Im honestly fuckin confused bc im seeing videos online that iran just broke this ceasefire? So like did they or am i seeing fake shit idk wtf is going on
[+18] u/DarkoDokkan: Today a civilization was eliminated today and it was a bear 🐻
[+16] u/trent_upscale: Tf kinda bers are they? That's a brown ass frog
[+15] u/Sure_Fisherman2641: Open the fucking casino
[+14] u/bullhunter469: Bitch ass retard bears YAPPING REALLY HARD AS ALWAYS:
"Low volume fake pump"
"Something doesn't add up"
LMAO
[+14] u/Th3MrPancake: We're bombing Iran : -0.2%
We're not bombing Iran: +3%
Trump again discovered the infinite money glitch.....
[+14] u/kanduking: there is 0 chance they come to an agreement in 2 weeks
[+13] u/nthnreallymatters: In our attempt to destroy the regime we have actually strengthened their position
while losing significant amounts of money, goodwill and power
The Art of the Deal
[+13] u/Interesting_Leg8859: # BOLZ ON THEIR WAY TO SUPPORT LOCAL PAKISTANI-OWNED BUSINESSES LMAOOO
[+12] u/diefy7321: BoOtS oN tHe GrOuNd
pRiVaTe EqUiTy
YeN cArRy TrAdE
RaTe HiKeS
Ww3
LMAO 🤌
[+12] u/Stocks_N_Bondage: I just woke up from this weird dream that taco was just doing all of this to manipulate the market so his proxies could trade like savant geniuses on every whipsaw. Oh wait....
[+12] u/spaurake: So, Iran gets the strait, no miniskirt return, religious fanatics still ruling, oil 30% higher, hundreds of billions spent to acquire virtually nothing. Yeah, it’s a beautiful masterpiece.
[+11] u/CJBlueNorther: Dumbass bears really thought 🥭 would start WW3 right before the Masters lmfao
[+11] u/AgitatedJump8459: Cash gang feeling useless
[+11] u/EarthquakeCrater: Inflation is in check guys. Picked up a steal - 2012 dodge charger 84 months 17.8% APR with nothing down.
[+10] u/Jimbeauxer: Tomorrow might be the biggest tank day yet.
[+10] u/bigmeatbag: Imagine thinking Bibi isn't going to squash this ceasefire.
[+10] u/powerboner: That mf’r lives to break ceasefires
[+10] u/SaiyanApe17: bols celebrating when I am going to buy calls at open to cause it all to crash LMAO
[+9] u/Theipodrookie: Damn SPY 675 already? It's like we never left
[+9] u/Resident-Rise-8457: y do i feel like this ceasefire wont hold
[+9] u/Prestigious_Ad3896: Bears are pretty convincing except for the fact they’ve been wrong about everything this entire time
[+9] u/Capital-Stay-5657: IRGC is still launching missiles. Alerts going off right now in Israel and UAE
[+9] u/frogboyjr: bears out here hoping the bombing continues 😂
[+8] u/BeaverSack: Why is everyone acting like THIS was the uncertainty holding the market back??
[+8] u/TheFlyingGyro: Imagine being a bear and you hear news of a ceasefire. No more death, peace ahead of us and green markets with everyone making money. Instead of being joyful, you sit down and scream. Wild.
[+8] u/ThePokemon_BandaiD: Why the fuck didn’t I sell my USO calls earlier I’m so regarded
[+8] u/pussinbuuts: CLEARLY INSIDERS GOT THE MEMO LAST MONDAY
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
[+5] u/Dry-Syrup-882: I just walked out of work and there was a gay bear outside begging me for spare change. Told him to get fukd
[+20] u/pickleback11: Trump posting like the US and Iran are gonna be best friends now "hanging out together" and building houses ala habitat for humanity. Dude is insane.
[+19] u/HistoricalComeBack: Israel bombing Lebanon… fuckers are the key of the problem
[+13] u/Senior_Professional4: I think there’s no way this has bottomed but I also thought the exact same thing after tariffs
[+12] u/winner_in_life: Imagine having these insider information.
[+12] u/piss_stored_in_balls: Good morning. I'm gay
[+12] u/borkdpasito: Oil ripping from -16% to -15%
[+12] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: guys im not even going to be able to sleep tonight, tomorrows open is like christmas morning for my calls
[+11] u/Fresh_Internal_6085: $2,000,000 toll is 8,000,000 quarters..
Gonna be a helluva long line of ships while each captain reaches out the window to pay.
[+11] u/borkdpasito: Uhh - it’s been 6 hours and only 1 Iranian tanker has moved towards the strait
[+11] u/M18PowerKing: I just replaced the heating element in my dishwasher that I have been putting off for a month because I am a lazy piece of shit who is not worthy of God's love, let alone any human's love... I hope I get my shit together soon, otherwise I will just hang myself.
[+11] u/rioferdy838: Entire civilization of bears have just been wiped out by mango.
[+11] u/confused9: Don’t do it guys by 11am tomorrow mango is going to announce total annihilation of Iran. Kiss your gains goodbye
[+11] u/hioman01: Panic buy everything right now
[+10] u/BurningB1rd: Bears are sad today because there is less war in the world, less death and the domestic economy doesnt crash nether does the world economy.
[+10] u/borkdpasito: 8 hours gone. Zero non-Iranian ships have left the strait
[+10] u/MusingsAndMind: believe it or not, puts
[+10] u/Ensemble_InABox: that stock market ripping means we lost the war right
[+9] u/The_Cornwallis: $NASDAQ up 8% in a week 😂
[+9] u/Own-Wolverine-5361: Extinction Level Event 🚨
^for ^bers
[+9] u/RobotPimpLibertyBell: Open the fuckin strait or I end your civilization is sort of effective.
[+9] u/EpiphyticOrchid8927: lol pakistan and iran say ceasefire includes lebanon. trump and bibi say no
[+8] u/bullrfuk: Iranian generals Salami, Pepperoni and Pastrami are reportedly dead.
[+8] u/14mmwrench: Feels good fixing stuff doesn't it?
[+28] u/charcoalVidrio: Mar 3: “We won the war.”
Mar 7: “We defeated Iran.”
Mar 9: “We must attack Iran.”
Mar 9: “The war is ending almost completely, and very beautifully.”
Mar 11: “You never like to say too early you won. We won. In the first hour it was over.”
Mar 12: “We did win, but we haven’t won completely yet.”
Mar 13: “We won the war.”
Mar 14: “Please help us.”
Mar 15: “If you don’t help us, I will certainly remember it.”
Mar 16: “Actually, we don’t need any help at all.”
Mar 16: “I was just testing to see who’s listening to me.”
Mar 16: “If NATO doesn’t help, they will suffer something very bad.”
Mar 17: “We neither need nor want NATO’s help.”
Mar 17: “I don’t need Congressional approval to withdraw from NATO.”
Mar 18: “Our allies must cooperate in reopening the Strait of Hormuz.”
Mar 19: “U.S. allies need to get a grip—step up and help open the Strait of Hormuz.”
Mar 20: “NATO are cowards.”
Mar 21: “The Strait of Hormuz must be protected by the countries that use it. We don’t use it; we don’t need to open it.”
Mar 22: “This is the last time. I will give Iran 48 hours. Open the strait.”
Mar 22: “Iran is dead.”
Mar 23: “We had very good and productive talks with Iran.”
Mar 24: “We’re making progress.”
Mar 24: “[Iran] gave us a present, and the present arrived today. It was a very big present, worth a tremendous amount of money.”
Mar 25: “They gave us a present, and the present arrived today. It was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money. I’m not going to tell you what that present is, but it was a very significant prize.”
Mar 26: “Make a deal, or we’ll just keep blowing them away.”
Mar 27: “We don’t have to be there for NATO.”
Mar 28: No major statement.
Mar 29: Claimed talks were progressing.
Mar 30: “Open the Strait of Hormuz immediately, or face devastating consequences.”
Mar 31: Claimed a deal was “very close” and that Iran would “do the right thing.”
Apr 1: “We’ll see what happens very soon.”
Apr 2: Reiterated that a deal was likely, while warning of continued strikes if not.
Apr 3: “Something big is going to happen.”
Apr 4: Said Iran must comply “immediately” or face further consequences.
Apr 5: “Open the fuckin’ Strait, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in hell—just watch. Praise be to Allah.”
Apr 6: “We will destroy their entire civilization.”
[+20] u/Jarlaxle_rigged_it: I hate mango so bad. his inside circle banked so hard these past weeks while everyone got fucked
[+17] u/BigShmokeBuffer: Hilarious seeing all these countries simultaneously declare victory
Bros, did you know the UAE emerged victorious though?!!
Cucks got bombed and took just took it lying down from Iran.
You’re so victorious bro!! 😂😂
[+16] u/Own-Kaleidoscope-731: so no rate cuts, oil still high, job market fucked, but we pumpin with a fake ass ceasefire, make sense
[+15] u/zuziannka: It's so weird when you see these pictures of Earth, like dafaq we are so alone and there’s literally nothing out there and we are still trying to bomb each other
[+14] u/Arnab_Goswami_RTV: I’m a gay ber and this is my 9/11
[+14] u/I-IV-I64-V-I: Oh boy expect a +7% until it turns out the cease fire was fake
Then down 3℅
[+14] u/Purple-Image9960: Cash gang sitting in the cuck chair right now
[+14] u/gavbot_1213: If this holds, puts at open seems obvious
[+13] u/KarlLachsfeld: >IRAN NATL SEC COUNCIL SAYS WITHIN A FEW HOURS, IF FIRING DOES NOT STOP IN SOUTHERN LEBANON, AIR MISSILE UNIT WILL BOMB TEL AVIV
LMAO
HERE WE GO AGAIN
[+13] u/Psychological_Fly109: Oil at 150 by EOW,
150 yuan
[+12] u/zeebee098: Whole US economy is a pump and dump
[+12] u/negan90: Generational wealth opportunity for puts with a 2 week strike date
[+11] u/Happy-n-Healthy: This is a terrible deal.....for Ber portfolio's
[+11] u/DingleJingle_: Israel is getting hit hard rn. Huge blast on Tel Aviv.
[+10] u/Paul_Robert_: Here is your gallon of gas 🫴
[+10] u/Ok_Blueberry_7776: Into All time high lmfao😆
[+10] u/zlordbeats: no way bul market is back if we open 680 its basically the war doesn’t matter anymore
[+10] u/winston511: Bers please do not double down on your puts at open, we just pumped 2.5% without a single ship crossing the strait. Once there’s movement of ships confirmed, we’re going way higher. Please cut your loses brothers 🙏
[+9] u/JohnnyUtahMfer: Don’t need to imagine
[+9] u/fightoraccept: This is all fake until ny session starts trading in my opinion. Lol
[+9] u/goldenlamp: So 🥭 was right about the extinction event, but it was about bers
[+9] u/Sea_Character_9896: How long the ceasfire gonna hold ? Longer than 24 hours?
[+9] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Why is the IRGC still firing a shit ton of missiles still at this very moment lmfao.
[+9] u/ring_of_slattern: Honestly we should’ve known when he made the announcement about wiping out an entire country during market hours. That was 100% intentional manipulation. He’ll never do anything to tank the market while it’s open unless he knows it’s going to bounce right back immediately
[+8] u/JC7577: shits basically "trade talk is going well" all over agin
[+7] u/Top-Meaning2626: MANGO SUCKING CAMEL COCK FOR LIFE
[+7] u/rm0277: The year is 2028,🥭 has agreed to give 🇮🇷a 2 week cease fire. 🇮🇱 is still bombing and 🇮🇷 has yet to reopen the straight of Hormuz
[+19] u/ImAnonymous135: Has anyone actually seen the 10 points cease fire agreement?
The US is coming out of this like a total loser.
IMO this shit rides to Friday then at close Trump tweets that the US is getting robbed and they start bombing Iran again.
!banbet SPY 640 10d
[+14] u/Different_Being368: US VP Vance: We have extraordinary economic leverage over Iran
Just put the fries in the bag bro 😂
[+13] u/wenxuan2: Alot of folks saying this ceasefire wont hold. If you truly believe that , just fullport puts i dare you
[+12] u/Options_tarded: This fake gay market will never crash like it should. Too much pdf liquidity
[+12] u/NotEasyOne_Regard: #I miss the reacts we used to have
:cryingpepe:
[+12] u/stupidber: Ber were right there was a nuke last night. In their portfolios
[+12] u/Comfortable_Oil6642: It’s actually crazy right now that bears are actually upset a civilisation wasn’t wiped out
[+12] u/SvV_Ying: It’s insane bears hope for escalation to fit their narrative. Bulls just want peace.
[+11] u/NotEasyOne_Regard: Bers before market openning:
https://preview.redd.it/1mdjxax05ytg1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ce908439ae4692ccd1a8d275e9ba862b51810c4a
[+11] u/Left-Signature-5250: Pop some champaign - finally up break even 😂😂😂
[+11] u/spsteve: Sitting here watching this shit pump while one of Iran's refineries is now burning and UAE and others in the region are under missile warnings, Iran saying they are only allowing 10-15 transits during the ceasefire (which is where we were before the announcement) and really scratching my head as to where the fuck everyone's sanity has gone.
[+11] u/AmeriMan2: We may just open at 700
What the actual fuck. Futes ripping. Im happy im cash gang. This manipulation is cray
[+10] u/chuastan: Which ever side u are. Think we all deserve a cease fire day too. Mentally exhausted
[+9] u/Zuko2001: He went from having a decent first term where he would have gone down as a relatively unremarkable prez to now possibly making the largest blunder on a geopolitical stage in the history of modern presidents. We gained literally nothing, wasted money, wasted time and actually it seems like we’ll be giving Iran concessions. The worst part of all this is the blow to our soft power.
[+9] u/RoninKnight17: Honestly it’s hard to believe anything at this point
[+9] u/TreGet234: Every sensible and even every regarded person rightfully bearish af
Institutions: buy buy buy
[+8] u/Loose_Stool_12: Bots and Boomers are like the only things left that still follow cable news. Automatic red flag 🚩
[+7] u/Bdbru13: Maybe it’s because I’m dumb, but the market rallying like this makes me think some actual terrible shit is about to happen.
[+7] u/uncsucks: Puts at open tomorrow
[+6] u/daedalus_dance: You are just jealous your croissants are made with hydrogenated fat and your cappuccino comes in a packet of powder!