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[+13] u/Hwangoutpltr: ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
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๐๐๐๐๐๐ป๐๐๐
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๐๐๐ค๐ผ๐๐๐ค๐ผ๐๐
[+11] u/LasyKuuga: I may have priced in my retardation but I forgot to price in ๐ฅญ retardation
[+10] u/smart_doge: Just farted with breaks and it sounded like the Velociraptor from Jurassic Park 3
[+10] u/Frozen_Shades: You look like a clown if you go blonde and still have brown eyebrows. There I said it.
[+9] u/ihatenames-: HEY TAXPAYERS - FUCK YOU! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
[+7] u/mayorolivia: Imagine thinking Trump has a plan to get out of this disaster
[+7] u/dunk4899: Alcoholic, former fox weekend news anchor turned secretary of defense canโt even insider trade competently
[+7] u/Bxdwfl: Green premarket, red finish?
[+6] u/MadHat0815: They may be able to manipulate the pre market price action of stocks, oil on the other hand is playing in a different league.
[+6] u/LowTop3544: Is it already Taco Tuesday again
[+6] u/mayorolivia: I had a photorealistic wet dream last night
[+6] u/magneticpasta9: Wow BULL is up .22%, the bleeding is finally over
[+5] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: news conference 30 minutes before open and no god candle means - no taco.
Stocks will continue to drop in their scheduled manner. (meaning 10% per day)
[+5] u/ValueOfADollar: Oh my god I need to take a day off from this
[+54] u/more_aero: Starting to see how this guy bankrupted a casino
[+49] u/oldprecision: ๐ฅญyesterday: negotiations going well we will blow them up if they donโt.
๐ฅญ today: go get your own damn oil.
[+46] u/RB_7: Mango truly is the most highly regarded president ever
[+34] u/PeachScary413: Lmao did Mango just announce defeat? ๐คก
[+31] u/zeren1ty: โGo get your oilโ
๐คก๐คก๐คก
[+30] u/frogboyjr: might be his funniest tweet yet, basically just said โyeah we failed but itโs your problem nowโ
[+30] u/Coley44: 1% pump off the concept that the US will simply accept they lost the war and pray that the Strait immediately reopens is comical
[+29] u/puts_every_day: I must say, flip-floping all the time like this makes the US look very strong.
[+29] u/UnivalveX: "IRAN HAS BEEN DECIMATED", meanwhile they're shooting missiles at 7 countries at once..
[+29] u/ten7four: Price targets on falling stocks are the funniest scam ever. When MU was in the 400s, Citi's price target was 510. Now that it's dumped 100 dollars, Citi's like "oh wait, actually, our new price target is 425".
Fuck out of here. They should be forced to have like a scarlet letter sign saying "I'm retarded and my price targets are retarded" when their predictions go the exact opposite direction
[+27] u/Any-Camel-9913: replaced surpreme leader with his more radical son โ๏ธ
increased cost of living for billions of people around the globe โ๏ธ
Increased Iran's grip over the world's most critical energy chokepoint โ๏ธ
well done ๐ฅญ and yahoo
2 biggest regards in the world
Might give them regard of the year award every year.
[+26] u/Numerous_Two_102: Mission failed. We ll get them next time.
+4%
[+26] u/DanqueLeChay: ๐ฅญ: We did the hard part, now someone else clean this mess up!
[+25] u/Skylake1987: What an absolutely embarrassing moron
[+24] u/Dry-Operation6112: Trump is such a dumbass him even saying they'll leave with the strait still closed is just another reason for oil to pump even more since Iran will have 0 reason to open it for free transit of vessels. Meaning oil will stay higher for longer. This is literally an all time foreign policy disaster by a US president lmfaooooo
[+23] u/Shoddy-Ad9069: ๐ฅญ is losing the 4D chess with himself ๐คก
[+22] u/BillyShears2015: Bulls, just take a couple deep breaths and see if we can get some oxygen into those brains of yours. If Spy and Oil are both up, somebodyโs gotta be lying.
[+22] u/Upstairs_System_6257: Art of the retard ;)
[+22] u/modder9: Change the name again to Dept of Losing Wars
[+21] u/oldprecision: Vance: We destabilized the region and now we are done. Say thank you.
[+20] u/k3t4mine: "Go get your own oil"
This whole thing's a clusterfuck, but the delivery of that is kind of hilarious.
[+20] u/Dry-Operation6112: DONALD TRUMP CANNOT TACO.
HE DOES NOT CONTROL THE SITUATION ANYMORE.
BUY PUTS ON EVERY PUMP.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
[+19] u/Due-Dirt-8428: Heโs gotten bored with Iran and is leaving
[+19] u/External_Counter378: That's the truth we want to pump on?
[+19] u/knoqd_: > Jim Cramer says this sell-off is creating buying opportunities
Itโs over
[+18] u/Snoo_92707: Go get your own oil he said LOL
[+18] u/WholeFront2789: One oil pump is all it takes for the bols to be in shambles
[+18] u/ballmode: Pre market green with no public catalyst... i smell trap
[+18] u/Coley44: That latest truth social post telling countries to ransack Iran for oil is insanity
[+18] u/SocraticGoats: ๐ฅญ reminds me of the guy who once came into a bagel shop where I was ordering something, and was trying to explain how it was my fault he just backed into my car in the parking lot.
[+17] u/Historical_Bother274: What time does our Iranian quant speak tho? Dont care about DoD fake news
[+17] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: Itโs funny that I wonโt pay 2.99 for double meat but Iโll put $5k on an index moving 1% in less than a day
[+17] u/X211499Reddit: Nothing like stirring shit and then fleeing the scene, good job ๐ฅญ
[+17] u/BarbellPadawan: This is going to be the 9th war he has ended in the last 14 months. **Peace Maker!**
[+17] u/2020isgreat: Heads-up: Pre-market so-called โnewsโ or โTruthโ is often just a setup for profit-taking. Basically, itโs a reverse indicator.
Do the opposite: If they pump it, short it. If they dump it, go long.
See something tomorrow? You know the drill.
[+16] u/No-Insurance100: People pumping for big news at 8am when the presser is going to be some variant of "we are winning the war, just 1 to 2 more weeks" while showing a call of duty highlight reel
[+16] u/Time_Molasses_1581: โI had the most healthiest MRI everโ - ๐ฅญ
Sir, they donโt send healthy people for MRIs
[+16] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: Yes talks are going well which is why weโre considering just packing up and leavingโฆโฆ.
[+16] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: I will not buy puts at open, I will not buy puts at open.
Fuckk it! I think Iโm buying puts at open!
[+15] u/Late-Cow-6607: Give up when others are fearful
[+15] u/Bichael-Murry: he is such a sore loser, my god you can't make this up
fucking lol -.-
[+15] u/mallison945: This looks like a job for SpiderKash
[+15] u/ShittyUsernane1222: this bear market will outlast the US-Iran war and ๐ฅญ's presidency.
Although it will have relief rallies.
๐ฅญ did long term damage to the US.
[+14] u/RogerBalderer: Time to take a step back and realize that his tweets are meaningless everybody
[+14] u/RB_7: If your grandparent was acting this way you would put them in a home kekw
[+14] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Another extremely volatile day shaping up. Remember to take profits on your plays.
[+14] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Pete Hegseth is a fucking douche
[+14] u/puts_every_day: I can't belive that all this hedge fond managers and analysts are just refreshing truth social to see what the next trade is going to be. Easiest job in the world.
[+14] u/drpa1n: Wait, was that the plan? Steal Venezuela oil and then create a world wide shortage to flip it at a high price?
[+13] u/Williamnguyen62838: IโM DONE HIDING NOW IM SHINING LIKE I WAS BORN TO BE
[+13] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Imagine the loss porn if whiskey pete announces boots on the ground today.
[+13] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: America really became a global super power by basing its currency and economy on a natural resource owned primarily by religious zealots half way around the globe.
Maybe we're the retards. Idk. Gonna buy calls at open, Mango has lost interest in the war and its starting to affect his poll numbers.
[+13] u/Due-Information-6277: Bull getting false hope lol
[+13] u/UnderB0SS: Itโs like we ordered a taco and someone dropped it in the parking lot on the way to the car. Now weโre still hungry and thereโs a fucking mess on the ground and the dipshit who dropped it is pointing at it saying, โI donโt have to clean that up.โ
[+13] u/whomakesthetendies: OIL NOT EVEN REACTING ANYMORE
[+13] u/sirnutzaIot: We are almost at yesterdayโs premarket high, oh boy!
Gonna dump instantly again or a hint of extra manipulation today?
[+13] u/Dry-Operation6112: LMFAO this fuckin guy! "Yeah I made a total mess here. You scrubs can go clean it up."
[+13] u/GittingerFredl: Some of y'all don't have a narcissistic grandpa and it shows
[+13] u/DateUser66: war is over again for the 3rd time this month. lmao bers and all that
[+13] u/Time_Molasses_1581: Donโt buy anything until 1030 est, thank me later
[+13] u/aftherith: "Go get your own oil europoors" seems to be the vibe of the day.
[+13] u/PompeiiSketches: Just saw his latest truth. If that is his plan the petrodollar is done LMAOOOOOOOOO
[+12] u/PompeiiSketches: Leaving without negotiating opening the strait would be so fucking funny.
[+12] u/HumansHaveSoles: No cumming in the Casino
[+12] u/borkdpasito: For someone with an economic degree, ๐ฅญ really seems to have zero clue how commodity markets work
[+12] u/oldprecision: Barron: Dad, wtf am I supposed to do with that tweet?
[+12] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: A country of 350 million and we elect this regard!
[+12] u/UnivalveX: war is over for the 13th time, hence ber is fuk for 13th time
[+12] u/trsx5: \- Make a mess for no reason
\- Tell others to clean it up
\- ?????
\- Profit
[+12] u/jamesjordisierra: Judging by ๐ฅญ truth posts, he either:
- places boots on the ground to attempt to get dat oil
- takes a U-turn and goes back home
Mf saw a vesp nest, went there, kicked it and now left us to deal with the angry mf vesps
[+12] u/ConstantAd1: Barron is on some Discord server with his nerd friends right now telling them the next play and I'm upset I'm not part of it
[+12] u/CallmeWooki: Imagine having to defend this mentally deranged ๐ฅญand his tweets
[+12] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: if some economist can explain to me how this post made oil drop ffs
[+12] u/DogNamedFloppy: People live too long these days.
[+12] u/Due-Dirt-8428: Everyone agreed the only way this could get to be a bigger cluster fuck is if we just decided to leave ๐
EU please save the world
[+12] u/Zealousideal_Lock789: Where are all you retards that voted for ๐ฅญ?! Go get your own fries ๐๐๐
[+12] u/edapalooza: The market manipulation is unreal
[+12] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Is this a press conference or fairy tales for manchildren?
[+11] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: Too many bears in here today, even compared to yesterday. I think too many people will pile into puts thinking they have solved the market. Or maybe I'm wrong and it will dump.
[+11] u/sweenygg: Matter of time ๐ฅญ will announce weโre done at iran and successfully finished missions. Iran gonna place one big toll in hormuz to recover all losses.
[+11] u/Jacobpapi: USA is done and anyone who needs oil needs to buy from them or go and fix the strait themself
[+11] u/Academic_Hearing: Bull trap, there is literally a burnt tanker floating, oil to 130
[+11] u/Economisty: Some of you weren't around when the asteroid killed the dinosaurs and it shows.
[+11] u/whomakesthetendies: US Speedrun defeat in the middle east this time ehy
[+11] u/LostMyMag: Finally saying they are done and no giga +5% candle, not sure if bols are still alive at this point.
[+11] u/Pascal030: this shit will dump so hard
[+11] u/ConstantAd1: Friendship ended with the UK
[+11] u/Advanced_Structure21: Admittedly, one thing ๐ฅญis pretty good at is framing his failures. 'Course he's had lots of practice.
[+11] u/Concerned_Fanboy: As oil approaches the 150 price target Saudi predicted 3 weeks ago youre going to notice a pretty big shift in people's mentality.
For instance, did you know you cant eat a Bitcoin? you cant even drive to work on 'AI Datacenters', you need actual gasoline.
[+11] u/WatchyT: im a long term investor now
[+11] u/Salty-Bid1597: Qatar should have sent two airplanes.ย
Now they're totally fucked.
[+11] u/Disconn3cted: He's confusing France and Spain
[+11] u/DingleJingle_: Anybody who buys after a mango tweet should be the first boots on the ground in Iran. Pure retardium.
[+11] u/No-Insurance100: ๐ฅญ is just as dumb as his followers who think the US is an autarky. "Fortress America" is actually extremely dependent on other countries
[+10] u/naija123456: Let's goo. We are greenn. You know what that mean. CHEAP PUT!!!!
[+10] u/Damandalorianway: the market is jestermaxxing
[+10] u/2QuarterDollar: Go get your fuel in Iran you ๐
[+10] u/hv876: Me to my broker: my port is decimated, go get your own money.
[+10] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: I can stay regarded longer than the market can stay solvent
[+10] u/Upset-Motor-2602: US Credibility has been obilterated
[+10] u/ConstantAd1: Trump is like if a WSB poster became president
[+10] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: It doesnt matter if I buy calls or puts. Market is gonna Kangaroo and shake me out before picking a direction anyways.
[+10] u/GittingerFredl: Let me translate the tweets for you:
"I need to shift blame. Let's throw some shit at the wall and see what sticks".
[+10] u/EnginrA: Buy puts or slam puts is the only question today
[+9] u/OkayWwahevr: completely useless war with nothing achieved? priced in.
[+9] u/Standard-Top-5942: He's not a good at negotiating or running a business. That's why he had to become a reality tv star. It's as simple as that.
[+9] u/jda823: So what exactly did we mobilize all those ground troops for?
[+9] u/EdgeLordMcGravy: Yesterday morning both oil and premarkets were green and then come open, the market took a massive dump. On such low volume, I donโt buy this pump.
[+9] u/Excellent_Row8297: Today:
Epic bear trap followed by an epic bull trap
[+9] u/Curious-Visual4525: ๐ฅญ and his rants on twitter slams oil and pump stocks.
But if this is the best he can do the markets are totally F-ed.
[+9] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: Grab 'em by the Strait
[+9] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: So mango creates this mess and expects other countries sort it out? What a man-baby!!
[+9] u/Specialist_Fig9458: You know itโs fake because airlines, who he just admitted are going to get killed and heโs doing nothing about it, are pumping lmao
[+9] u/Concerned_Fanboy: Dept of War: 'cmon guys stop calling this a war'
[+9] u/Due-Dirt-8428: I wonder if there is a large exporter of oil who hasnโt been able to export due to sanctions and might be a winner here ๐ค maybe someone will remove the sanctions and encourage people to buy from them while this gets sorted out? Idk who I canโt really remember who is gonna be a winner in this
[+9] u/shortitforever: Slam puts at open, same as yesterday
[+9] u/fatboats: US just bombed Iran and Iran just bombed an Kuwaiti oil tanker-AP
[+9] u/AirwickS: Incoming Hegseth press conference may well destroy this pump.
[+9] u/CUbuffGuy: Imagine China went into Taiwan, got dicked down so hard they said. "Ya know what, if you guys want chips, you can just make your own" Then left.
We'd all be clowning them so hard lol
[+9] u/dontslambro: Heโs bored with Iran so now he wants to go after Europe again.
[+9] u/psychoffs: Trump didnโt put all these troops into play to announce a ceasefire. Heโs about to announce an additional operation or something. Hard to believe weโre leaving yet.
[+9] u/zeren1ty: Has US been the paper tiger all along?
[+9] u/humunculus43: Lol so trump is just going to walk away and leave chaos
[+9] u/Calistaline: Sounds to me like an insane rugpull in waiting.
This likely means, given my preternatural ability to feel the market, that it's gonna pump beyond belief.
[+9] u/External_Counter378: Hungover and late as usual
[+9] u/Ok-Thought-9960: Cathie wood selling tssler was the biggest canary in the coalmine
[+9] u/bruhhzilla: What this guy is doing is equivalent to taking a fat diarrhea shit in your office floor and telling your coworkers to clean it up on your way out with shit smeared clothes
[+9] u/moazzam0: Iran's parliament just passed Hormuz toll legislation:
Toll to be paid in Irani Rial. Smart to avoid Yuan, not anger US.
No passage for ships headed to US, Israel, or any county that sanctions Iran. This means rest of the world can get oil and Iran-sanctionig countries can buy through those third parties.
Oil on ships still settled in USD.
This is great news.
[+9] u/Manufactured_feces: Of course it is a fake pump but how long will it last? Timing is everything.
[+9] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: attacking EU for not helping him. That is bullish somehow
[+8] u/Calistaline: NURSE, ROOM 47 CLAIMED VICTORY AND SHAT IN HIS GOWN AGAIN
[+8] u/DifficultGarlic6: Wtf is this speech. This guy masturbates standing up in front of a mirror.
[+8] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: I dropped a banger comment, but you guys wont know it, she's from the other thread.
[+8] u/HARCYB-throwaway: Wow y'all are spicy retarded this morning
[+8] u/Damandalorianway: This is truly a clown show
[+8] u/Hist0racle: Does anyone else smell TACO'S?
[+8] u/CUbuffGuy: I fucking hate this bullshit market
[+8] u/Lastchoicename: Is this another fake premarket day? Or did the Iran trading strategy only work once?
[+8] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Mango and whiskey Pete are going to claim victory, and since we have spineless journalism and state sponsored media they'll get away with it. Oil prices will likely remain high, but markets will recover on the basis that the American public has no interest in another prolonged war in the middle east.
Take your money and run bears. Buy calls.
[+8] u/whomakesthetendies: Sire, another 'truth' hit europe
[+8] u/ConstantAd1: He's starting to blame other countries for his Iran war failure. This seems like his exit strategy from the war.
[+8] u/RemarkableVictory990: I'm voting for whoever is the uglier candidate in 2028 they've gotta be competent to get that far
[+8] u/Historical_Bother274: The latest Truths are insane
[+8] u/UnivalveX: war is joever everybody (13th time's the charm)
[+8] u/Pharmacologist72: Ayatollah demands tariffs and you cucks will pay.
[+8] u/Time_Molasses_1581: See you in Valhalla - Pakistan President
[+8] u/TickTockTaudit: Buffoonery. Ass clownery.
[+8] u/confused_teabagger: **The Bait of Hormuz** will go down in history as the most market manipulating episode of this entire series!
[+8] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: I think people forget, Iran decides when this is over and Israel decides when the US is done.
[+8] u/bidahtibull: Trump has just told the uk to go get is own oil via the Strait.
No way he's pulling out like that ๐
[+8] u/High-Impact-2025: Is it normal that these Pentagon briefings are at 8 AM?
[+8] u/Ok-Thought-9960: Whose ready for hegseth to read his iran slam poetry - better yet "iram poetry"
[+8] u/KeTaMiNEanDpEdoZ: This pump is bigger than yesterday, I'm thinking the day will still end about flat but time will tell.
[+8] u/Nick_Gilberts_Bowtie: Pete said he was IN the ground lol
[+8] u/092Casey: What the hell kind of tweet was that? "Go get your own oil". ๐ It sounds like a petty teenager or something.
[+8] u/trsx5: I am so embarassed as an American. Jesus fucking christ.
[+8] u/Due-Dirt-8428: Is he reading a chapter from the latest Tom Clancy book?
[+8] u/dontslambro: Abusive relationship NATO and the fruit
[+8] u/Independent-Tree-985: Homie really sent a tweet that is ambiguous enough to suggest he's 'job done'ing this
[+8] u/HumansHaveSoles: I open the AP Pentagon briefing stream and the first thing I see is some guy spamming "WORLD BOWS TO IRAN" in the chat
So that's pretty funny
[+8] u/brute-forced: Well gas is $4.09 here now. Way to go folks! You did it!
[+8] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Everyone asking why it is pumping. Line doesnโt always go straight down during a downturn in the market. There will be Green Dayโs.
[+8] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Idk why yall act surprised. He was always going to claim victory and just leave. We've been saying this for 2 weeks.
[+8] u/Valkorion335786: So are we living that Civil War movie reality where Ron Swanson is president
[+8] u/awetfartruinedmylife: We have been sanctioning Iran for 47 years. Iran has sanctioned us for 30 days
[+8] u/BarbellPadawan: Itโs almost like he has opened a Pandoraโs box that now he cannot close.
[+7] u/Historical_Bother274: Holy fuck the casino is too exciting. This shit is more addicting than crack
[+7] u/Fitzaroo: Spy going to fade all day again. Its just institutions with access to premarket that want it to pump
[+7] u/ismebbb: OPEN THE CASINO I HAVE AN ITCH FENTANYL CAN'T SCRATCH
[+7] u/BadBoyBilbo: โFucktardโ really encompasses how I feel about him
[+7] u/Pitiful-Ad769: Only thing that makes me feel better is the boomers are losing money too
[+7] u/Curious-Visual4525: ๐ฅญ๐ฅญ๐ฅญ๐ฅญ
WTF IS THIS CANDLE?
[+7] u/According-Page8618: trump just tweetet usa is done with iran
[+7] u/WSB-mods-are-: I didn't even believe we were in a recession until I passed an F150 with a lyft light on their dash
[+7] u/jacked2datitz: i panic sold the bottom yesterday fml
[+7] u/ConstantEfficiency83: Letโs think critically for a secondโฆ if we just leave Iran, they will continue closing the straight unless you pay a tollโฆ option 1) toll is paid and it causes the price of oil to stay elevated and option 2) Iran says fuck it strait still closed even though you left
Both cases mean higher oil for longer. Which is bad for the economy. There is no taco that solves this problem you retards
[+7] u/Andthesuch: I just need NVDA up 10% is that so much to ask?
[+7] u/ComodinoDiLegno: So he's now blaming other people for the bed he shat
[+7] u/MissMatriarch: BREAKING: The US Department of War announces it will be holding a press conference at 8 AM ET on Tuesday.
Source: The Kobeissi Letter
[+7] u/Used-Bedroom-3763: They're gonna pump today because everyone is short
[+7] u/SergeantThreat: Only the best presidents give up on a war they started after 3 weeks!
[+7] u/WSBrexiteer: Go get your own tendies!
[+7] u/Salty-Bid1597: Wow, the US really going for hearts and minds here.
Europe should be straight on the phone with the ayatollah offering him a trade deal in return for cheap oil and gas.
[+7] u/Capt_Chickenpox: Oil only dipped 1% lol, market might be smarter than i'd have expected seeing last week
[+7] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Put/call ratio is 2.75 today with a large amount of open interest on 630p and 640p. Iโm thinking the MMs may actually pump it today to fuck the puts.
[+7] u/Concerned_Fanboy: How you gonna open all t hese dumb ass data centers when oil is $200 a barrel lol
[+7] u/Retaining-Wall: This shit is delulu, d-e-l-u-l-u
[+7] u/Shiccup1: bulls are coping hard
[+7] u/ballsonreddit: Gulf allies privately make the case to Trump to keep fighting until Iran is decisively defeated
[https://apnews.com/article/trump-iran-saudi-arabia-mbs-gulf-war-uae-89f690b952fe28d3140c537b70fa5051](https://apnews.com/article/trump-iran-saudi-arabia-mbs-gulf-war-uae-89f690b952fe28d3140c537b70fa5051)
[+7] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Sure first morning poop is good, but what about second morning poop?
[+7] u/patmccock86: Hard to believe heโs going to open himself up to this humiliation
[+7] u/2020isgreat: Listen to the Iranian financial advisor
[+7] u/Disconn3cted: It makes absolutely no fucking sense that data center stocks would be pumping on this news. There's an energy crisis going on that hasn't ended and we gave up on solving it
[+7] u/LostMyMag: How do i buy puts on AP
[+7] u/Tanpopomon: You can already tell from the speech that:
1) We aren't pulling out. This is going to be a rallying talk.
2) The Department of War is not technically savvy (the feed is disconnected 90% of the time so far)
[+7] u/Open_Waltz6902: ๐ฅญ on the shitter the day before the war :" how can I brag about ending wars if the US isnt in one"
*calls Netanyahu*
๐ฅญ: "Bibi, hear me out..."
[+7] u/Specialist_Fig9458: How was this even a pump itโs an impossibility to just abandon the petrodollar. I mean unless you actually want to send this economy down the tubes and give China the crown
[+7] u/Appropriate-Gap-7799: Excuse me, but why is the president of the US tweeting like the head moderator of an anime discord? It's embarrassing.
[+7] u/doolytokki: sounds like ๐ฅญ is pussying out after stirring the hornets nest
wonder if hes gonna do tariffs as revenge to EU
[+7] u/be_o3: Legit isnโt MU too cheap now
[+7] u/Background-Nothing71: Everyone knows pulling out is the move, you donโt bust your nut and put boots on the ground, cause thatโs a forever problem.
[+7] u/Remarkable_Bass8335: I mean those posts are so regarded, you canโt tell me this shit pumps
[+7] u/TheLegendOfSteven: Fake recovery. We are going lower intraday. See you then
[+7] u/KahlVados: This is my venue of choice for following the US Department of War conference
[+7] u/Fantastic_Fix5712: I need to be financially independent by lunch time, how can I do this with $18?
[+7] u/cbusoh66: Ghalibaf on CNBC right now: Sell the Rip
[+7] u/pinghing: Jesus Christ Kegseth really cant go a day without his favorite beverage huh
[+7] u/BarbellPadawan: Not putsโฆ probably puts.
[+6] u/RemarkableVictory990: TACO supreme did jackshit lmao
[+6] u/Appropriate_Ice_7507: Iโm truly regarded as I bought mu at 430
[+6] u/According-Page8618: trump tweetet the usa wont be helping you anymore, iran has been essentialy decvimated, the hard part is done.
[+6] u/Remarkable_Bass8335: So ๐ฅญ said fck Nato??
[+6] u/throwawaydonaldinho: Friday is closed. Thursday night boots 100%
[+6] u/Disconn3cted: Japan is about to get wrecked ๐
[+6] u/Severe-Tangerine891: why are bulls getting pressed in the chat ? Its exactly the same as yesterday.
[+6] u/After_Working_6499: So is the war over again?
[+6] u/oldprecision: The war is over but so is the oil. Algos: up we go. Who writes these things?
[+6] u/borkdpasito: Why the fuck would Taco be bullish? The Iranians will then run the gulf? Do we really think they are going to let energy prices go back to normal lol
[+6] u/Sea_Problem2233: Another day, another bad decision
[+6] u/Defiant-Fee-7550: A stripper let me touch her a**b**s ๐ฆ
[+6] u/Heavenisaplace176: Just wondering how is everyoneโs blood pressure? Mine not good
[+6] u/be_o3: Who here doesnโt regret not selling MU
[+6] u/Anfield_Cowboy: So if we just ignore the straight weโre good to ๐ right?
[+6] u/Remarkable_Bass8335: Taco does something new, he tries to kill the market. I mean, wtf are those posts??? Itโs insane, just fumbling nato
[+6] u/Williamnguyen62838: HUNTRIX GIRL TO THE WORLD ITโS A TAKEDOWN
[+6] u/hoidzaheer777: Believe it or not
Kangaroo ๐ฆ
[+6] u/Independent-Tree-985: When the shapes puzzle got too hard he throw the toys and walked away
[+6] u/Independent-Tree-985: lol Kidd Rock got 2 army choppers to detour and check out his personal home without command permission
[+6] u/Ok-Thought-9960: Really what magoo and co should have done is arrest the the leader of Iran for giving financial advice without being registered. Then noone could say this was for zero reason. BOOM CHECKMATE FUCK U BONDI THIS MY TIME๐ค๐ค๐ค
[+6] u/Iamhappilyconfused: Are we doing this shit again?? Pump pre market and dumping afterwards!
[+6] u/Disconn3cted: Oh fuck it really might be an April fool's joke lmao
[+6] u/puts_every_day: I don't know about you, but I'm super excited for the market to open. The move is going to be hilarious no matter the direction
[+6] u/Viktri1: is this going to be a repeat of yesterday? The set up feels the same.
[+6] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: Iโm going to take care of this myself, since no one will help. Hey, can you guy help? Since no one is helping, Iโm leaving, itโs on you guys
[+6] u/Icommandyou: The pump is real sus though
[+6] u/rm0277: ๐ฅญtreated Iran like his diaperโฆ shit on it and nowโs leaving it for someone else to clean it up ๐
[+6] u/Maximum-Side-9391: If you want green you gotta go get it yourself! Taco is done fighting for you. He ruined the market but if you want it back you gotta pump it yourself!
[+6] u/trsx5: This guy wants his own action movie so bad
[+6] u/RollofDuctTape: The question for us is whether the market priced in a scenario where the U.S. just flips the monopoly board and leaves. And I donโt think anyone ever talked about that so probably not.
But long term some sucker always picks up the monopoly board.
[+6] u/liv19: and then everybody clapped
[+6] u/knoqd_: The fuck is AP doing
[+6] u/_TheMagicMan13_: This sounds like he is reading the first chapter of his poorly selling autobiographyโฆ who wrote this and who decided this was a good speech?
[+6] u/Iamhappilyconfused: The ultimate question today is do we buy puts at open or give it an hour or so before buying?
[+6] u/ShittyUsernane1222: \> AP rewinds stream, which they clearly stole
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CF7Th9PnPsw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CF7Th9PnPsw)
very bearish signal
[+6] u/BarbellPadawan: Kegsbreath is such a piece of shit
[+6] u/Bloomeyer: this is dumping yeah?
[+6] u/AirwickS: IDK. Never underestimate his willingness to act out of self-preservation & his capacity to undermine allied in the process. Tariffs laid this bare.
He may well try to ๐ฎ
[+6] u/Viktri1: Is this a repeat of yesterday? Oil up, spx up, on nothing
[+6] u/Claypool_Floyd: Are people really gonna load up on calls? This feels faker than your mom's silicones.
[+6] u/Historical_Bother274: HE IS TOO LATE PROB DROPPING DOWN ON KHARG ISLAND
[+6] u/sergechewbacca: We all know this shit is going down like a rock at open.
[+6] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: Someone just asked what my 401k allocations are at work cause they trust meโฆ. How do I tell them I went to cash in November ๐
[+6] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: So ๐ฎ talks about negotiations on Monday Tuesday and destruction the rest of the week
[+6] u/TraipseTraveller: It's way too early for this shit
[+6] u/CUbuffGuy: Did their stream crash lmao
[+6] u/ZombieDracula: Is your shit purple and smell like rainbow sherbet?
[+5] u/ShittyUsernane1222: Either Hegseth will announce boots on the ground, do an gigaTACO (announcing complete retreat) or another one of these fake TACOs.
3 possibilities:
1. Mega-Bearish (Hegseth announces boots on the ground)
2. Short term relief Rally(Hegseth does an gigaTaco and announces complete retreat)
3. slight recovery afterwards accelerated Dumping (Hegseth fakes chickening out of US-Iran War)
[+5] u/BadBoyBilbo: Just because itโs Tuesday doesnโt mean youโre all entitled to a TACO.
[+5] u/Trenavix: I will ride this sinking ship like it's the mf titanic
like it's one of those oil carriers in the strait
[+5] u/Iunatic: Bought 1000 shares of HOOD after it dumped 50% and even I'm down 9%. LMAO
[+5] u/Caked_Up9: Market gonna close negative again after the 10am pump
[+5] u/NeighborhoodDry1821: So confused. News headlines do not look like war is overโฆ
[+5] u/Fhyzikz: Typically bullies get bored when the victim fights back. They prefer weak targets that will take the abuse. That's why Cuba is next. Country is already crippled. Brave Sir Robin
[+5] u/sami_regard: Exact same hour as yesterday, we peak here, all trading hour will be dump.
[+5] u/BrainMale: Mango named his Alexa Iran and has been having negotiations with his AI assistant
[+5] u/moosewithamuffin: How much Adderall do you think they give the President every day?
[+5] u/iYoloNDX0DTEs: You gotta pay the troll toll if you want to get the oil.ย
Pamp it.
[+5] u/Valkorion335786: So I guess poots at open again
[+5] u/puts_every_day: Oil pumping again. Nice tey bols, but a tweet is not anymore what it used to be.
[+5] u/Fantastic_Pirate3948: A few lotto calls, but this may be the dumbest rally in history.
[+5] u/Quirky_Push_2506: Like the wise Iranian guy advised, just short any pumps from a premarket truth. It worked out pretty well yesterday.
[+5] u/Overall_Option_8883: Is ASTS a defense stock
[+5] u/evilhomer450: Do i fall for this again?
[+5] u/Logical-Clerk-1571: if we get another 30 truth posts, SPY 700 won't be a dream anymore lmao
bolfuk eod
[+5] u/livingiice: Two numbers appeared in my dream... 645 and 628...
[+5] u/General-Giraffe9092: If you look at the MU chart and decided to buy at 350+ you deserve this
[+5] u/zeren1ty: This circus is about to plummet on open
[+5] u/Bittertwitter: I think pax americana is no more. Hmmmmโฆ
[+5] u/noahmfs: ๐ฅญ just leaves and passes the problem he created to pretty much all the world LOL and with a masterclass of if you want oil buy it from us. You can't make this shit up this is better than a Hollywood movie.
[+5] u/Retaining-Wall: I did exactly what I said I wouldn't do Sunday. I should have waited until today to buy my puts. I'm not worried about them, but they'd have been cheaper.
[+5] u/scarneo: Is he pooping his pants on live tv or ending the war?
Could be one, could be both at the same time. You never know.
[+5] u/What-the-fluff-: Did ๐ฅญ post anything this morning?
[+5] u/whyshw: Bears have been conditioned to short every pump. One of these pumps will get them rekt
[+5] u/NaturalFortune8397: idk why my gut tells me he is intentionally pumping it now knowing weโre escalating later this week
propping it up to dampen the dump later
[+5] u/Knarre30: Cant wait to witness the daily manipulation attempts
[+5] u/Icommandyou: Itโs low key hurting my patriotism but feels like that Iranian reverse indicator trade advice will continue to play out
[+5] u/e10n: Damn! What a speech ๐คฃ
[+5] u/cbusoh66: "I am taking my ball and going home"
[+5] u/DanqueLeChay: Beautiful deployment mustache
[+5] u/Independent-Tree-985: WHOLLY SHIT APs DIGITAL TECH FUCKED UP THE FEED
[+5] u/Defiant-Fee-7550: Buffet just said 'freak the fuck out & sell everything" on live tv ๐ฆ
[+5] u/pussinbuuts: BRO PEOPLE WANT UPDATES NOT SOME MF STORY
[+5] u/Unhedged-Fund: Wtf is Gheyseth talking about, just give an update you fucking idiot
[+5] u/2020isgreat: BUFFETT SAYS IF THERE IS A BIG MARKET DECLINE, BERKSHIRE WILL DEPLOY CASH
there's no way this shit pumped the market lmao
[+5] u/Special_North1535: Taco. He's got nowhere to go. Keeping an eye on oil. Staying in UVIX. not financial advice
[+5] u/RB_7: Markets donโt believe in the mango anymore ruh roh
[+5] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: Ya I donโt think anybody believes shit if oil isnโt lower
[+5] u/holymolyratio: donโt be exit liquidity ๐๐
[+5] u/dontslambro: Pentagon briefing at 8am FYI
[+5] u/MadeThatCash: Here's the kings speech "we have won, and we installed a better leadership that will be kind to our needs. We destroyed the old, and ushered in the new, now watch this drive (as he kicks the ball forward)"
[+5] u/ProudestPeasant: wonder what the point of premarket is
[+5] u/Bright_Interaction73: Flat by open or 2% up. No in between -TACO Tuesday baby!
[+5] u/potgoblin5: stocks are due for a relief rally. nvda will feebly try to take back 167. the pollution monster from fern gully will crush them all
[+5] u/sck178: Hmmm so it's green today. Which means that I will not change my strategy even in the slightest. Which means I WILL lose money. I recommend you inverse me and buy calls. This is not financial advice
[+5] u/daymanlol: I think its genuinely funny that the breaking news banner on [cnbc.com](http://cnbc.com) is warren buffet having lunch with steph curry and the top sorry is Stock Fututres Rise after Report Trump looking to end iran war
[+5] u/NaturalFortune8397: GUY LOAD CALLS AT OPEN
TRUST ME
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING BAD COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN
[+5] u/saw-it: Damn buls scared to celebrate premarket pump
[+5] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: Congrats bols, we're back to prices not seen since... yesterday morning
[+5] u/CUbuffGuy: How many times is the market going to believe this absolute retard
[+5] u/whomakesthetendies: US has lost all credibility
[+5] u/Exotic-Narwhal-6686: another leg down was inevitable after that relief rally ran out of steam. markets always do this dance where good news gets priced in way too fast then reality hits
[+5] u/Soft_Walrus_3605: The one you were going to pick, but decided not to
[+5] u/Disconn3cted: At 7am and on truth social
[+27] u/nullzeroerror: The fact that the media just accepts the regime change narrative pisses me the fuck off. Fucking useless idiots
[+24] u/Revolver_Lanky_Kong: "Sir, the bullshit pre-market news failed to pump Monday"
"Do the exact same thing today, but send an even bigger dipshit with less charisma to speak"
[+23] u/optionsmaster42069: LMAO, TRUMP JUST TOLD THE REST OF WORLD TO GO FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF
If nothing else this is top tier comedy
[+23] u/Spy300: >POWELL: US FEDERAL BUDGET IS ON AN UNSUSTAINABLE PATH
โ
๏ธ Light middle east on fire
โ
๏ธ Triple energy prices
โ
๏ธ Leave
[+21] u/81458145: โWe negotiate with bombsโ. What a fucking wiener
[+21] u/cryptopolymath: Italy denied US military aircraft permission to land at Sigonella base in Sicily en route to the Middle East, as reported by Reuters ๐ค๐ค๐ค
[+21] u/posicrit868: > ๐ฅญis prepared to walk away from the war in Iran even if the Strait of Hormuz does not reopen, according to a report.
>The 79-year-old ๐ฅญhas been telling aides he is willing to end military operations in the Middle East without resolving the crisis surrounding the vital shipping route through which one-fifth of the worldโs oil passes, The Wall Street Journal reported.
Guys he TACOedโฆon a Tuesdayโฆ
[+21] u/Fresh_Internal_6085: At this rate theyโll have to release the Epstein files to distract from the war.
[+21] u/Bam2458: In 2030 when weโre above 10000 on SPX with a president who has an education above a 2nd grade level, we will look back on these times with great PTSD.
[+20] u/FatFluffyFish: Wtf was the point of this briefing????
[+20] u/Aranthos-Faroth: Yes Iran was run by a fucking lunatic but we haven't had many issues with the straight. Things moved, we let them do their own thing. Everyone just needed to sit down, shut the fuck up and things were gonna keep rocketing to ATH.
But nope.
This motherfucker decides he wants to create a new, more determined to hate America nation, fuck up every single major supply chain in the world like it's covid 2.0 and then clock out at 5pm to do a round of golf.
Meanwhile I'm sitting here with my fuckin retarded bags of NBIS wondering do I double down on my retardation by buying more.
[+20] u/Soffatjockis: Why the fuck are we pumping lol
[+20] u/hopewellroad: Everything points to a dump at open, except that everyone on WSB believes it will dump. So it will probably pump.
[+19] u/civillyRange: Wars over
5 mins later
Wars back on
This admin is fucked
[+19] u/nullzeroerror: lol. Bunch of nothing. The war is not ending soon. Weโre cooked.
[+19] u/Unlucky252: Bulls about to get rugged 1 minute before open
[+18] u/TonyAngelinoOFAH: I've heard more sense out of a drunk group of girls at 3am in an Uber.
[+18] u/astromouse2024: Absolutely ruthless, pump premarket to rope buyers in before the next leg down to 629. Absolutely diabolical
[+18] u/Irishbros1991: Takes Venezuelas oil???
Starts war in middle east closes strait of Hormuz???
Oil price goes up???
Leaves everything ruined???
Buy Oil from us in America ding ding ding!!!!
[+18] u/aniote: We will build another strait and Iran will pay for it
[+18] u/aniote: "Go get your own oil" is literally gonna be quoted in history books
[+18] u/9753redfe: โFuck you guys we donโt need your help, we started this, we can finish thisโ also โwhy didnโt you guys fucking help us, fuck this weโre going, you guys can clean upโ
[+18] u/Just_Learned_This: It's like the special Olympics in here today
[+17] u/hayleybts: This could have been a tweet, what a waste of time
[+17] u/RareGuarantee3532: # โIt may be dangerous to be America's enemy, but to be America's friend is fatal.โ
โย **Henry Kissinger**
[+17] u/TheMatinow: Love that the arabs gave ๐ฅญ 500 mil plane, just so he can fuck their whole economy, safety and says GG peace out noobs.
[+16] u/nsfwnsfwnsfw33333: OH MY FUCKING GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP, DOES THE LINE GO UP OR DOES IT GO DOWN?????
[+16] u/Walking72: *US Defense Secretary Hegseth's broker looked to buy defense fund before Iran attack, FT reports*
---
Move along. Nothing to see here.
[+16] u/twenty_three_three: War's not over till we agree to Iran's terms. Once again, idiots and algos think the mango is in control of the situation.
[+16] u/basedpogchamp: nato is a DEFENSIVE ALLIANCE you daft cunt
[+16] u/BenisSpaghetti: My Iranian contact just texted, 'sell at open'. ๐ค
[+16] u/chaclarke: The back and forth on terms:
"Open the strait"
"No"
[+16] u/chalupabatman2404: The founding fathers average age was 44. How did we let 80 year olds drive the bus
[+16] u/OkResponsibility2470: TL;dr
Literally nothing has changed LMAO
[+15] u/TonyAngelinoOFAH: That was so embarrassing. Absolute cringefest. Iran literally must be laughing at these suckers.
[+15] u/mrmagootoyou2: Whiskey Pete seems like the guy whose dad was always disappointed in him, and he's still trying to prove everyday that he is a man
[+15] u/PositiveToe2761: I still think itโs funny thereโs people in this sub, who watched a dude get his entire family slaughtered and thought โ yeah heโs probably gonna be chill and agree to negotiations soonโ
[+15] u/Rich-Badger-7601: Waiting for my Iranian Financial Advisor to tweet today's investment strategy
[+15] u/New_Internet_3965: Company I work for got bought last week by a mega corporation. Our bosses said โall jobs are safe and nothing will change but the name on your checksโ. Just got my offer letter from the new company and they are demoting me AND cutting my pay. Long story short I am going to be yoloing my account today
[+15] u/killcon84: ALRIGHT LISTEN UP IRAN, IโM REALLY REALLY SORRY. I EXPECT MY ALLIES TO CLEAN UP THE MESS THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
[+15] u/FullCopy: Iran wants reparations from the US. I want reparation for my NVDA calls.
[+15] u/Commercial_Seat_3704: A handful of sociopaths with room temperature IQs control the amount of money in my portfolios. I hate this shit.
[+14] u/defordj: We are not a serious country
[+14] u/LiveMotivation: Market looking for a pump narrative like a addict looking for crack cocaine
[+14] u/TonyAngelinoOFAH: So America is the strongest country in the world..... But wants Britain's navy to act now.... Lol
[+14] u/CosecSecCot: If America withdraws with the Strait closed Iran is going to be making some very beneficial deals with the Gulf States.
Israel's security would all of a sudden be very precarious.
I don't think ๐ฅญ can just up and leave. I don't think Israel would allow it.
[+14] u/zuziannka: Mango to UK - So basically imagine I walk into YOUR grocery store and completely destroy it for no reason. Like full send, absolute chaos, everything is gone.
Then I walk back up to you like:
โHey sooo the store is kinda destroyed but you need milk right? Just go find a cow and squeeze it yourself bro, easy fixโ
[+14] u/XX_AppleSauce: God what an asshole.
[+14] u/DerrickClapThatAzTon: Slept terrible because I had a dream last night that crude oil futures hit $340 and then came back down to $106 and I missed the pump.
[+13] u/jg0nzalez22: Please stay up so i can buy puts at open
[+13] u/ThrowRA-KB: - 15 Point plan rejected by Iran
- Iran wants control over the strait which leads to destabilizing the dollar since the toll will be in Chinese currency and the US will NOT allow the petrodollar to be challenged. Gaddafi, Saddam Hussein, Maduro, all challenged the petrodollar and look where they are now.
- Iran wants US bases to leave the Middle East, but they have too much ties there
- ๐ฅญ will look weak if he pulls out achieving nothing but high oil prices, hes cornered himself into taking on a full scale land invasion.
- We are barely getting started
[+13] u/corndog_messiah: Why does kegsbreath always get so emotional
[+13] u/BigStepMaestro: Will they rug us again, stay tuned
[+13] u/No_Bookkeeper6275: So basically, the clear beneficiaries without ever entry this war are China and Russia. Once, US backs out, Gulf is going to look at China to step in and mediate a deal which will definitely include a huge chunk of flesh by China in the form of Petroyuan. Art of the deal. Bravo!
[+13] u/jsie-iaiqhsi816278: none of yall were here for the covid crash and it shows
[+13] u/Pretty_Dragonfly_716: Dude Hegseth is going to be the next person to get canned. Wish I could banbet it
[+12] u/A55BAG: \*NVIDIA INVESTS $2B IN MARVELL TECHNOLOGY
Jensen is basically running a tech fund now ๐คฃ
INTC, CRWV, APLD, NBIS, LITE, WRD, RXRX, NOK, OpenAi, Anthropic
[+12] u/cheddarkittyy: If ๐ฅญreally leaves without opening the strait, thatโs handing Iran victory. Iran can charge outrageous amounts for tolls through the strait and use their own tankers to move oil to China. Iran and Russia love seeing America and its allies suffer, and possibly nato collapse, middle eastern countries would have to beg Iran and pay huge tolls to pass through the strait, and they both love seeing oil prices high. Americas reputation is basically done can say goodbye to its superpower status
[+12] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: I'd bet Donnie has no inner monologue
[+12] u/Working_Monitor_2076: I declare victory. The first war with Iran is over. The second one will commence shortly
[+12] u/rafikihound: "we know what China and Russia are and aren't doing, we just don't have to say that publicly" LMAOO so fucked ...
[+12] u/looool_k_libtard: This is why I have buried billions of gallons of oil in my backyard to prepare. I now own 60% of the oil globally.
[+12] u/zuziannka: You bomb the country that has nothing to do with you then they restrict their sea passage for the business which fuck up every other country's business and then say that we are helping others by doing heavy lifting?
[+12] u/RFKsBrainwormm: He keeps saying boots on the ground hahaha
[+12] u/FatFluffyFish: THATS REALLY IT? LOLOLOL
[+12] u/brewski512: "Go get your own oil" - Diddy
[+12] u/johns2289: I literally never thought Iโd hear Warren Buffett utter the words โconsensual sexโ at 8:45 in the morning but here we are.
[+12] u/thetalentedmrbowser: Americans eating boneless wings and drinking piss beer while their country crumbles around them
[+12] u/blackboro: its like living in idiocracy...
[+12] u/jasperCrow: Mango doesnโt have the cards
[+12] u/twostroke1: Donald hit Iran with the โgg too ez, no rmโ then left the lobby.
[+12] u/Aware-Teacher5389: Cramer says to sell oil lmao
[+12] u/thenelston: not checking my brokerage today fuck my chungus bag holding life
[+12] u/Dude_HaHa: # Buy puts and stunt on these hoes
[+12] u/Today-: all of WSB screeching about how they are loading up on puts and this is a fake pump
Strongest indicator of a massive shrek dick incoming
Spy 650 EOD
[+12] u/SlfImpr: **Per Bloomberg**:
>Volatility from the Iran conflict has resulted in the **single largest month of value destruction on record, with nearly $12 trillion in market cap erased** across global benchmarks.
[https://www.bloomberg.com/news/live-blog/2026-03-31/iran-war-live-updates-trump-oil-markets?cursorId=69CB4AFA69700000](https://www.bloomberg.com/news/live-blog/2026-03-31/iran-war-live-updates-trump-oil-markets?cursorId=69CB4AFA69700000)
[+12] u/whydouhatemecablegod: open the rigged casino!!
[+12] u/1111thatsfiveones: $640 by open, $633 by close.
[+12] u/apurimac777: *The conflict has not thwarted Iran's missile capabilities*
##THEN WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE POINT PETEY!?!
Puts
[+11] u/DarkReignRecruiter: Hegseth walking back todays TACO. It's crazy how often their messaging changes.
[+11] u/sun_tzu29: This could have been a tweet
[+11] u/SSkilledJFK: Omfg Iโve been following this mouth diarrhea for a month now. Just to lose money. Iโm out dawg. The war is not close to over. The Strait is all sorts of fucked. The media is fucked for aligning with their bullshit. They havenโt said ONE god damn thing that sounds like strategy. Literally just spewing headlines. Kegsbreath talking to soldiers like they are divinely chosen to finish this holy mission. I need some damn sanity.
[+11] u/grimandnordic1: BREAKING: Iranian diplomat Suq Ma'diq says anyone not in control of Hormuz is gay.
[+11] u/Content_Advice190: serious comment , trump isn't attacking IRAN he is attacking Europe .
[+11] u/Shroomboom420: Reddit is down 46% since WSB removed spanishman-emoji and whip-emoji.. Just saying
[+11] u/hfbvm2: Shit on the sidewalk and leave. it is the problem of the people walking there, if they want to walk there, they can clean it.
[+11] u/Recent_Register_2952: I haven't taken a shit in 5 weeks. My body is perfectly utilizing and allocating every nutrient I take in and is wasting none of it therefore there is no waste to expel
[+11] u/soccer29801830: Buffett is so uncomfortable with these Epstein questions lmao
[+11] u/John-AtlasGames: You know, even if Bibi was going to attack, and we expected that Iran would target our regional bases/assets in retaliation, if we had held back and said "whoa buddies!" we would be in so much better a position to, you know, be able to negotiate something with someone. Imagine how much better the US and global economies would be right now. It's not like it actually matters that the previous ayatollah is dead, all the leader-killing has only made it harder to figure out who to talk to now. We're probably negotiating with some AI sock puppet actually run by Russia or China.
I don't WANT to be a bear. But I just don't see how this resolves in a way that isn't much more expensive than it already has been to date, even if we just pull away and tell everyone to pay tolls to Iran or do whatever else to get their oil and fertilizer and helium through the strait going forward.
Guh.
[+11] u/Fineous400: Thatโs a nice green market you got there. Be a shame if someone dumped it.
[+11] u/DrummerCompetitive20: How is this green holding...?
[+11] u/RalphaDog: Hey wait a minute I thought Iran conceded to all of ๐ฅญ demands just yesterday and now heโs leaving without getting anything? Iโm starting to think he might be lying guys ๐
[+11] u/Ready_Scratch_1902: paradoxically I think the Epstein files are a distraction for something else
[+11] u/brondoplantscraveit: My man is going to release the files to distract from the shame of this war now.
[+11] u/Specialist-Sun-4751: Too many of you calling "fake pump." That means its a real pump.
[+11] u/User0198888: Ain't no way puts at open again lol
[+11] u/corndog_messiah: This special operation sounds a lot like war
[+10] u/Shroomboom420: Is this gonna be another dump at open?
I swear, my portfolio is always up 2% at open, and -3% at close. Every day
[+10] u/nikerock: Christ. The president of the "greatest" country in the world goes on a noncoherent rant on national television badmouthing allies, yet somehow we are still up 1%. Future fake and gay.
[+10] u/PanamaCanelOwner: feels like US lost all the minimal aura we had left after the epstein thing and now this
[+10] u/CulturalOstrich7: How many people are gonna buy puts at open and get obliterated when yesterday does NOT repeat and we rally another 2% for no reason lol
[+10] u/Phenomous: โWe have done the lionโs shareโ as if theyโre not the sole cause of the problem
[+10] u/PalsRocksMyWorld: Elections have consequences and this one really fucked over the entire world.
[+10] u/TangerineHors3: โMen like sex.โ Warren Buffet. March 31, 2026
[+10] u/BerryExpress: all this manufacturing spiel tells me they are preparing for a prolonged conflict
[+10] u/optionsCone: Breaking news:
Hegseth requires a 6 pack in order to function
[+10] u/hiphopanonomos: Cramer: "It's a great time to buy!"
[+10] u/The_BakedCrusader: Remember what the Iranian guy said yesterday.
[+10] u/dreamer_Neet: Fake pump, donโt fall for it
[+10] u/Level_Counter3062: Crude oil STILL going green even after the Taco attack, unbelievable
[+10] u/BabyQuesadilla: Asian markets are down 4% and you think the S&P is staying green?!?
[+10] u/AstronautPossible374: Dont worry fellas RFK and Dr. Oz will handle the situation in Iran
[+10] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: Imagine falling for it again and becoming exit liquidity
[+10] u/TheRootOfMostEvil: In all seriousness, stop worrying. Whatโs the worst that could happen? We lose all our belongings and become kids foraging for food in the woods again? Itโll be fine
[+10] u/hiphopanonomos: I will not be exit liquidity I will not be exit liquidity I will not be exit liquidity I will not be exit liquidity
[+10] u/Thotmas01: Thereโs no way we actually just pull out after getting new leadership in place that really want to nuke the U.S.. fake pump.
[+10] u/ThermalChaser: Ballroom is coming along great. +3% EOD
[+10] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: This is the easiest short of all time at open, right?
The Iranian guy even said so on twitter.
[+10] u/Character_Pirate_152: it is just dead cat bounce guys. the market can't go straight down like it wants to.
[+10] u/trueblueozguy: I m watching netflix doco on Hitler and The evil on trial and holy shite the parallels are unreal with the current times
[+9] u/Technicaltrades404: Another exit liquidity day for institutions. ๐ฅญis shameless.
[+9] u/Fernyfern7: Maybe leaving Iran was the friends we made along the way
[+9] u/hayleybts: Why tf is he speaking to ruin my calls?
[+9] u/ercanbas: Gonna buy puts and not look until 3pm. Made 10k yesterday and lost out on 50k for selling early.
[+9] u/leeuwvanvlaanderen: Luv 2 see a retard Muslims v retard Christians deathmatch
Pity the tards at the top arenโt in real danger
[+9] u/bm_mane8: Feels like a great time for puts
[+9] u/RareGuarantee3532: LMAO how can oil go down on that "go get it yourself" declaration ? eheh
[+9] u/lonewolf210: Hegseth is delusional
[+9] u/Deep_Permit7919: What time does SPY go negative today? I say around 11 am.
[+9] u/the_mind_goblin1: Is this it? Will this be the most hated rally in history?
[+9] u/Soffatjockis: It's amazing that the market keeps believing the mango even though he keeps talking out of his ass and does the complete opposite lol
[+9] u/RFKsBrainwormm: WE ARE DOING THIS FOR YOU, YOU UNGRATEFUL FUCKS!
[+9] u/ImpressiveAmount4684: Market pumps until YOUR ๐ซต 0dte puts are wiped.
Then we rug, rinse and repeat.
[+9] u/Sad-Substance8684: 640 open 625 low 630 close
[+9] u/An_Unusual_Mind: Problem with Hormuz is that Trump wants to win it on a shoestring budget. Its like wanting a Benz but only willing to pay a Toyota price.
Send 100k troops and 100 planes and bombers, no way Iran can defend Hormuz.
[+9] u/jasperCrow: Who are the suckers that are gunna buy calls at open?
[+9] u/rocier: this is an uncomfortable interview. Nice to drag this 100 year old man outta retirement for this
[+9] u/Illustrious_Lion7671: It's funny how ๐ฅญ hates the UK specifically
[+9] u/jstvndrpls: Explain to me: why are future traders so bad at it? Everyone and their mother can see this shit will dump at open.
[+9] u/BlackKnightsOptions: Can't wait to see SPY dump 1% at open again
[+9] u/WombatShwambat: Oh no my puts. Mango must have said the war is won bigly for the 57th time
[+9] u/TripleChen_LLC: Is this going to be a rug pull like yesterday?
[+9] u/rocier: bulls, you feel that anxiety creeping in? Listen to that and dump your bags
[+9] u/JaraxxusPS4: This timeline would be funny if it wasnโt so damn sad
[+9] u/RockTraditional6757: Getting tired of all this bullshit premarket moves.
[+9] u/JernauG: Heโs using the reverse psychology technique, he doesnโt even want it open now, he likes it closed
[+9] u/kaapooj: >"I live this war and its possible consequences 24 hours a day. Due to the nature of my work, I have access to information that makes me unable to sleep. I fear what could happen in the coming weeks, as well as the consequences it will have on the economy and daily life," said Crosetto [Italy's defense minister]
and u are bullish?
https://www.gazetaexpress.com/en/Italian-minister-I-have-terrible-information-I-am-not-sleeping-because-of-what-is-going-to-happen/
[+9] u/Revolver_Lanky_Kong: Attacking Iran then leaving while the Strait is still closed and telling Europe to clean up the mess sounds a lot like what a Russian asset would do tbh
[+9] u/Beazt11123: Screw you, Im not selling
[+9] u/M_from_Vegas: What's one good reason to not buy puts at open?
(Besides the fact that they are gay)
[+9] u/Urzuck: Why is this retard speaking like he's in some kind of homosexual movie
[+9] u/OnAWagonToMexico: Lol about to be a repeat of yesterday
[+9] u/Brubiu: wsb is too bearish, take that as you will
[+9] u/fenton7: Be ready for the rug pull as soon as ๐ฅญ changes his mind for the 400th time.
[+9] u/1-gp: Buddy. Nobody has worked at CNBC in over 4 years. Itโs all AI now
[+9] u/lonewolf210: Someone made a report saying Trump has told his aides at some point that he wants to end the war. That's it.
This market is delusional
[+8] u/OkResponsibility2470: TL;dr
Literally nothing has changed LMAO
[+8] u/BlackKnightsOptions: Operation Pound Sand
[+8] u/Doclub29: Doesnโt sound like it will be over soon lol
[+8] u/Gom_KBull: " I didn't even want the strait to open anyway. No, I'm just bored, its not because I'm fucked and losing to a nearly non-existent military compared to my own." - ๐, probably
[+8] u/barkwoofgrrr: So this was an 8am briefing to thank people for building bombs and memorialize a fighter pilot who died of old age?
[+8] u/RFKsBrainwormm: Who believes these dinguses?
[+8] u/civillyRange: Somebody block yahoo's number on ๐ฅญ phone please
[+8] u/kaapooj: why is it that techbros on twitter have the worst set of morals to be ever seen
[+8] u/civillyRange: Just declare victory fuck you've lied about bigger shit than this
You killed the ayatollah blew a bunch of shit up iran is gunna be hurting for a while. Just call it a win already
[+8] u/kamilfav: boots on the ground confirmed
[+8] u/Revolver_Lanky_Kong: Lowkirkuinely want gas to hit $7/gal this summer because the boomer meltdown would be priceless
[+8] u/Leaguefizzics: Feels like dude is practically begging to get out of this war, seems like just a matter of time
[+8] u/EmergencyInternal837: This pump is gonna fade by 10AM just like yesterday
[+8] u/xavras_wyzryn: Iran sets giant oil tanker ablaze off Dubai after Trump warnings
Sure, buy the dip situation
[+8] u/Remarkable_Owl: Iโm seeing a lot of discussion about POLITICAL things. Unacceptable. Each of these incidents have been reported to the mods and there will be an investigation.
[+8] u/jasperCrow: Oil ainโt believing a word Mango is saying ๐ฎโ๐จ
[+8] u/PocaMadre69: War is over?? Everything fixed??
Or did they just give us another chance to buy some cheap puts
[+8] u/protectthezen: hesgeth, vance etc. are just such fucking dorks it's quite something
[+8] u/ayashifx55: LOL wtf , market goes up cause Mango said he's willing to end the war. I thougth he said it wasnt a war and that its already won?? how the heck do you guys put money in US.
[+8] u/Cold_Distribution273: Hegseth is a total retard, in other news can we stay in the high 630s before market open I want puts.
[+8] u/jasperCrow: Pajama traders praying thereโs people more retarded who bought the Taco. ๐
[+8] u/DCrebuilds: ๐ฅญ is so good at sending wars he's already ended this one like 5 times
[+8] u/rocier: Listen to me bulls. I am one of you. Just not right now. Sell. Fucking sell. Dont be stupid. Take the gift you're being given and sell.
[+8] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: Up over a 1% pre market? No way they are gonna give us another generational put buying opportunity like this again after yesterday. Itโs too obvious, and yetโฆ.
[+8] u/hubblebubble7: * **confident message stating my positions are not fucked and that I know what the market does** *
[+8] u/Strong_Coffee_9999: This is the most obvious golden opportunity to load up on puts
[+8] u/ElvanKing: Bomber jets flying over iran the war's so over
[+8] u/ARoseandAPoem: Buying puts at open is free money
[+8] u/Any_Life_6178: Get in before the rest๐ซต https://wendys-careers.com
[+8] u/anerdknownaswill: My robinhood notification literally just said โyouโre fuckedโ
[+8] u/Top-Meaning2626: Soemthing tells me that this is all smoke and mirrors for a ground invasion.
I feel it in my prunes
[+8] u/Fineous400: Poor MU doesnโt even get to be part of the fake pump
[+8] u/SalemKinkTrials: This is most obviously going to end red today even my stupid GED ass can see that
[+8] u/mannycalls24: Oh guh theyโre gonna ruin this red EOD
[+8] u/optionsCone: Went on a date, dinner cost $75 total. Became disgruntled on way home, not bc I didnโt get play but paying $75 for some damm food. Spending thousands on 0DTE, literally emotionless
[+7] u/defordj: "we wanted to leave, but the troops begged us to stay. 'Please let us be the tip of the spear on a ground invasion of Iran,' they told me. 'Don't leave yet, the mission isn't finished!'"
[+7] u/Memes_Jack: I have never seen this kind of incompetence before. PURE and UNFILTERED incompetence... What did we do to deserve him??
[+7] u/meforprezz: so puts shortly after open to 5x again
[+7] u/TheWizardOfFries: Operation Flail and Cry was a huge success, sir
[+7] u/bzl33: Bers (I'm a ber) need to realize that there will be massive rallies even in bearish times.
[+7] u/The_BakedCrusader: Did the algo's forget to open up a tab of Brent Crudes price?
[+7] u/Autistic-Bot: Spain doesnโt have any issues sailing through the Strait of Hormuz.
[+7] u/LemonRomeo: lol another pump and dump like yesterday
[+7] u/MakeOSUGreatAgain63: I donโt trust this for a second
[+7] u/draggin_low: Hm this sounds much different from what I saw while working in that manufacturing field. One of the guys daily routine was: Show up and read the newspaper for 3 hours, pretend to work for 30 mins, go back to newspaper till lunch, take extra 30 mins for lunch, come back late, nap in the back corner for 3 hours, pretend to work till shift was done, force weekend overtime hours cause nothing was getting done.
[+7] u/FatFluffyFish: HUH? That's it?????
This really could've been an email.
[+7] u/leeuwvanvlaanderen: At this point the US is effectively forced to chance a ground invasion because just dipping out and letting Iran rule the roost means the US global security apparatus is dead.
[+7] u/BenisSpaghetti: Alexa, what is a dead cat bounce?
[+7] u/defordj: Yes we're bringing in lots of hardened bunkers and air defenses. Also we're leaving, any minute now
[+7] u/Irishbros1991: Starts a War leaves the area fucked I guess it's up to you guys to fix the mess now we out LMAO
[+7] u/NewDawn101: If gas is too expensive get your lazy to straight of Hormuz and just TAKE IT
[+7] u/peterpeer9: My dad works at Nintendo in Iran and he said that the guy who said "sell at open" is full of shit
[+7] u/elvee61: I will not cry today. I will not cry today. I will not cry today.
[+7] u/Comfortable-Rule-491: Surely a dump when market opens because of the uncertainty.
[+7] u/botistic: โYou canโt fool me 1000 timesโ - bols
[+7] u/PositiveToe2761: So Berkshire purchased 17 billion worth of treasury bills this week. And you are bullish
[+7] u/dylansavillan: The best part is all of these losses are worse than they appear since the dollar has lost 10% of its value over the last year
[+7] u/carlos5577: On the one hand this fear is bullish and I need to buy calls as its probably the bottom, rich people will not let go. On the other hand ๐ฅญ is fated to crash the US economy by the Simpsons; and if its going to be someone itโs going to be the guy that bankrupted casinos.
[+7] u/DegenBagholder_: Open green = close red
[+7] u/Solid-Season9984: You know what would absolutely rip your calls to shreds? Hurricane season starts in 2 months. Nothing like a good hurricane to fuck up the gulf of Americas oil production. SoonTM
[+7] u/altonbrownie: I have the power to turn this around. I know it. I feel it. All I have to do is buy one put and SPY 700 by EOW.
[+7] u/DCrebuilds: We love volatility don't we folks
[+7] u/Uisce-beatha: Remember how many of you were saying "War is bullish!"? Probably overlaps heavily with the "He will run the country like a business!" crowd
[+7] u/hayleybts: Enough open the casino now
[+7] u/Atti_: Go to college, get a good job, work hard and invest early and you'll be ok. Never mind stagnant wages, housing shortages, market manipulations and constant upsets to world and economic stability!!
[+7] u/PositiveToe2761: How much do you think itโs getting to ๐ฅญthat thereโs people that trust the speaker of the Islamic republic of Irens parliament for market outlook more then his taco tweets?
[+7] u/LemonRomeo: Nothing has changed. US spent all that money moving troops to Middle East. They won't leave until we see some ROI
[+7] u/BerryExpress: 32 minutes till some of u will fuck around and find out
[+7] u/astromouse2024: Do bols really honestly truly think people are going to want to hold over a three day weekend lol more like spy 629
[+7] u/hudson701: 'Gonna take strait by force' / open to not fully re-opening strait / 'war is complete, maybe' / 1000s marines, boots on the ground / 'I don't like, need NATO, France, U.K.' / please send planes, ships.
Market be calling BS on all his tantrum throwing fluff... PUTS - wait for high of day, then go short.
[+7] u/ObscureUsername000: Truth socials are unhinged this morning, old man is grumpy and could do anything, beware yer calls
[+7] u/Andromeda_0507: Last chance to sell but my dumbass probably still wont do it
[+7] u/Creative-Package6213: *Timmmmmmmmmmmmmmbeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrr*
[+7] u/MyCactusTeacher: doesnt this also just help russia?
[+7] u/hermeskino715: Hegseth trying to blow up the pump lol
[+7] u/An_Unusual_Mind: America can win Iran by sending 100,000 troops and 50 B2 bombers. No way Iran can defend Hormuz.
Damn, i should be the President.
[+7] u/hiphopanonomos: "Warren Buffett sees little to buy even after recent dip"
[+7] u/CafeClimbOtis: Just need IRGC to tweet "YOU DON'T HAVE THE CARDS"
[+7] u/Wsbmodisgay: Ok bulls, but please tell me you arenโt going to be this stupid again
[+7] u/djln491: Mango said, yet again, that he is looking to end the war soon
[+7] u/literallyaPCgamer: lol is Trump saying we made a mess, but we are done now everyone else go clean it up? Lmao ๐ค
[+7] u/MakIkEenDonerMetKalf: hegseth is so cringe god damn
[+6] u/GideonWainright: Both.ย Read a history book.ย We won Iraq and Afghanistan in a month but fought for decades.
[+6] u/Locke_____Lamora: That felt like he was giving a theatre kid esque monologue not a speech about an important war lol
[+6] u/oscillatingoctopi: Oh yeah, dump back to red fully engaged
[+6] u/Joegoyf: Bombs dont open the strait buddy boy
[+6] u/OkResponsibility2470: Blames every nation but the one that got us into this mess lmao
[+6] u/69spacecadet69420: So is that it? My puts are more than halved like that overnight and futes held? Thatโs it?
[+6] u/Trashpanda7193: Get your own oil - lmao , basically, if my dog shits in your yard you need to pick it up
[+6] u/TheRiverStyx: I found a rug out by the Wendy's dumpster. It really ties the cardboard box hovel together.
[+6] u/FLG_Doublefeed: why does the speech sounds like a fanfic he wrote
[+6] u/mrmagootoyou2: Pete Hegseth dropping "Finish the Fight" like a new halo sequel
[+6] u/rivers-66: Barron just gave the green light. Keep pumping
[+6] u/botistic: Cant wait for the rug pull
[+6] u/FatFluffyFish: Surely he's not gonna yap 30 minutes about weapon manufacturing right?
Just announce Boots on the Ground and we cna get this over with asap
[+6] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: #SPX puts or SPX puts
[+6] u/Most-Crazy2353: wtf are we even doin man
[+6] u/HuckleberryFit4084: Rubio says one way or the other straight gonna open !
[+6] u/FatFluffyFish: He didn't say no to No boots on the ground LOOOOOOL
[+6] u/Any-Pitch-2963: last effort to pump the marketย
๐ฅญ: jesus is in the room with us right now.ย
jesus : hola amigo
[+6] u/No-Improvement3164: SPY pre market chart looks like someoneโs hair after the stuck their finger in an electrical plug.
[+6] u/brewski512: Military 101 is buying defense funds before starting a war
[+6] u/daedalus_dance: Jet fuel? As a Eurorich I would like to reassure my Ameripoor friends that we also have the ability to "remember" - you know, like I distinctly remember the last 16 months. Enjoy your sandbox quagmire and/or embarassing climb-down.
*\*chefs kiss*\*
[+6] u/myboywears: Asking my best friend to murder someone with me, and then being told no doesnโt mean he isnโt loyal to me or not a good friend. He would obviously have questions and be hesitant . Pete makes no sense
[+6] u/johns2289: Buffett said get rid of the redacting๐ณ
[+6] u/Chazan22: Too bearish in here which means markets will go up
[+6] u/Comfortable-Rule-491: People arenโt even realising how bearish and dangerous it is if US leave without doing something about Strait of Hormuz.
[+6] u/jasperCrow: Is the elevator down at 9:30 or 10?
[+6] u/AlarmedPelican: It's Taco Tuesday
Barbara: And for that reason, I'm out
[+6] u/RFKsBrainwormm: So are we pausing the market crash until after the holiday?
[+6] u/VariousScenes: Ok so the plan is that we lose and leave, but now its your problem + we won't admit we lost
[+6] u/sauronII: Cramer and Ackman came out telling you to buy.
If this isnโt your signal idk what is.
[+6] u/BazInTheOrangeRanger: Groundhog Day but this time, theyโll wait longer to dump.
Not playing today, have fun retards.
[+6] u/hayleybts: I think I'm gonna sit on sidelines today for most part
[+6] u/Solid-Season9984: "Blerblehblahblerblehblahblerblehblah NVIDIA" ~ Jim Cramer prolly
[+6] u/PalsRocksMyWorld: How are we pumping after that speech by Kegsbreath and Donnieโs tweets?
The world is regarded.
[+6] u/GMEThrowaway2: I actually believe this is the bottom. Too many highly regarded people in here yelling about puts.
Itโs not that I think ๐ฅญ has a plan (he doesnโt) but humans are greedy and premium stocks are cheap. Most people are on a long-term buying horizon unlike us 0DTE folks
All that to say, I am going to full port 1DTE calls at open with what is left of my destroyed portfolio
[+6] u/astromouse2024: All Iโm hearing is puts regardless of what happens ๐
[+6] u/ConsiderationKey1658: Santa rally starts now ๐
๐ป๐ค๐ป
[+6] u/FatFluffyFish: LMAO did he just say mango man does not back down?
PUTS ALL THE WAY
[+6] u/kryptonyk: Blah blah blah blah blah get to the fucking point
[+6] u/Neat-Concentrate-239: algos in complete denial
[+6] u/I-STATE-FACTS: Why would today be any different than yesterday or almost every day last week
[+6] u/puffinnbluffin: Careful w puts today boys. Everyone here predicting the rug so that tells me calls might actually printโฆ. I agree this is all absurd and we should be plummeting to the depths of hell, but thatโs probably even more evidence you should be in calls lol. Iโd straddle this or sit on the sidelines for a little until we have a clearer picture. Hate to see my dogs lose ๐
[+6] u/FearlessStatement144: How do you say thank you in Iranian. ย Texting my Iranian official friend now
[+6] u/kaapooj: bulls are delusional, but ty for the opportunity to buy puts
[+6] u/nikerock: I swear if this shit doesn't end up down at least 1% at eod, I might write a strongly worded letter to my congressperson and bitch about shit I know deep down will never get fixed, but doing something is better than nothing. Although in this case I'm still basically doing nothing, while losing money in the process.
โ๏ธThis is what becoming a ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐ป does to a man.
[+6] u/Luxxieboi: Where is my Iranian quant for todayโs play?? ๐ญ
[+6] u/mks_csw: puts are way to obvious..
[+6] u/Temporary-Equal-774: \>Regime change has occurred
lol. Hope US to do a regime change in Nov
[+6] u/ercanbas: Where is the Quantollah?
[+6] u/mannycalls24: Warren Buffett and Epstein files the top stories on CNBC. War is over
[+6] u/SlfImpr: $MU - you heard it here first!
Someone analyzed the recently leaked source code of Claude Code:
[https://x.com/RihardJarc/status/2038944176914432344](https://x.com/RihardJarc/status/2038944176914432344)
[+6] u/Gom_KBull: * *Mega TACO*
* *The most obvious trap premarket*
* *Brown twitter man said first move is always fake*
**Oh yeah, its all comin together**
[+6] u/RFKsBrainwormm: OPERATION EPIC CHUNGUS
[+6] u/1-gp: Kendrick Lamar i know youโre here
[+6] u/Shurlak: what makes bols think today will be different from yesterday
[+6] u/ScucciMane: I resigned from my job and today is my last day, I hope these trades start working out better ๐ฌ
[+6] u/LarsTarkas: Man what the fuck are we even doing?
[+6] u/CEO-of-SOXL: New put holders will be burnt today
[+6] u/aniote: Only 2 rules
(1) Inverse Jim Cramer
(2) Follow Mohammed "10-bagger" Ghalibaf
[+6] u/Dude_with_Dollas: boots on the ground by the end of the weekend.
[+6] u/emperor_dinglenads: You've heard of a rug pull, but have you tried our Persian rug pull?
[+6] u/Independent_Term5790: Meanwhile crude still at 102
[+6] u/Dbestinvest: My dog just woke me up and I literally said โhold on I have to see how much Iโm losing todayโ ๐๐คฃ
[+6] u/Jimbeauxer: Dropped two fucking cannonball shits this morning. Felt emptied out after the first. Where was I storing the second one?
[+6] u/Motley843: The worst part about this two week war is gonna be the next few years
[+6] u/nemo_hoesss: Trump probably not even watching this shit
[+5] u/soscribbly: Cartoon character ahh dude
[+5] u/No-Improvement3164: Gotta get back to that trend line it got a little too steep boys. ๐๐๐
[+5] u/suddenly-scrooge: he read that tribute to the fallen like i do my wendys order
[+5] u/1-800-FunkMaster: Thank you to the military-industrial complex. Amen
[+5] u/Competitive_Ride: 1 month and regards are still calling it straight
[+5] u/RareGuarantee3532: "we achieved the first overland B2 Bombing" ah? so you have no total enemy air control for the past month ? no way, was it a lie ?
[+5] u/looool_k_libtard: Shit is going to tank at open again
[+5] u/Alert_Performance_99: Need this pump to at least sustain to open before the sell-off so I can get a decent price on some positions
[+5] u/FatFluffyFish: Pete is literally signaling, time to war lmaoooooo
[+5] u/Fresh_Internal_6085: War is very complete.
Tomorrow we bomb more shit.
[+5] u/hayleybts: Ssly man who asked for this stupid press conference? He just wants to ruin my calls
[+5] u/carrollart: What did the Iranian guy say yesterday?
[+5] u/Samjabr: I rage-yolo'd into a ton of lotto calls at the end of the day, yesterday - it seemed we might be due a short-term bounce.
I might make enough $ that my wife could actually leave her boyfriend and come home.
This is a fking disaster
[+5] u/BerryExpress: this is not a scale down speach smh
[+5] u/Mortgage5388: We have destroyed 90% of iran military, we have already won but the strait is still closed and they are still fighting.
[+5] u/hayleybts: MY CALLS WILL BE FUCKED, STOP HIM
[+5] u/unpaid-astroturfer: "We're not losing, we're failing to succeed."
- Hegseth, probably
[+5] u/Urzuck: Wtf are they even talking about right now LMAO
[+5] u/HonestScar7176: Holy shit this is gonna be red as fuck today
[+5] u/alex_fist: they warned us again, its not close to being over. if you dont get out today or buy puts youre an absolute cretin. how many more times do they have to fucking tell you?
[+5] u/Fernyfern7: It's insane that he says we don't need help but you guys need to help us makes no fucking sense
[+5] u/potentialPast: sad we're getting more accountability out of buffet than the actual perpetrators
[+5] u/Character_Pirate_152: investors are really fucking gullible aren't they?
[+5] u/apurimac777: Two rug pull days back to back?
Who will think of the poor retards
[+5] u/MoMeanMugs: By the amount of tards in here using straight instead of strait when talking about Hormuz, I assume everyone in here has a soft spot on their skull that they were dropped on as a kid. I bought a warehouse full of helmets, so line up you poor bastards.
[+5] u/twostroke1: Buffett sells and goes cash at spy 500.
Buffett at spy 630: great time to buy.
heโs literally just one of us.
[+5] u/shinigami_2245: Pete basically saying weโre going harder than ever, actually
[+5] u/zuziannka: He said Amen this should just go down 10% right away
[+5] u/Zeppu: The pump will continue until morale improves.
[+5] u/1-gp: Yall think DT really has us in his best interests but his team is actually sabotaging his every effort?
[+5] u/HolographicHeart: Secretary of War 'Put Kegseth'
[+5] u/BunchaPepperFcks: there's water in the strait, beautiful water
[+5] u/BerryExpress: its boots on the ground. fuck.
[+5] u/Cold_Distribution273: Zero dte puts are just way too obvious right? I thought the same thing yesterday but I still made out with 140%. I can't see how a fake pump holds again, especially since in an hour or three Iran will say there's still no negotiations. I'm almost considering sitting this one out and waiting for Wednesday and Thursday for puts.
[+5] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: Should have thrown in a Jabroni after Go get your own oil
[+5] u/NoodHigga69: We are gonna invade while Iranians are celebrating easter
[+5] u/LabyrinthLayers: NVDA like Oprah to keep the AI circle jerk alive. You get a $2B investment, you get a $2B investment!
[+5] u/bzl33: NVDA is like an AI ETF at this point
[+5] u/Illustrious-Low4128: Despite making most of my money on puts the past few weeks, Iโm nothing but happy for my friend mr. Spy.
[+5] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: Admin: no goals just bombs
[+5] u/tgff333: Is this the first time WSJ caused a move that lasted more that 12 hours??
[+5] u/Wooden-Lettuce6151: do we repeat yesterday? or face ripper at open
[+5] u/LiveMotivation: DOD speaks at 8:30, letโs see
[+5] u/Timely_Note_1904: Less than 30 mins to go. If it was good news why spy only up 1%?
[+5] u/Happy-Philosophy9211: market is about to DUMP
[+5] u/WarenBoffet: the tweet was nothing burger, its gonna go back to 630
[+5] u/ragnarosface: Micronโฆ more like micropenis
[+5] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Kegseth has some weird fascination with bigger bombs
[+5] u/Ok-Art6659: Someone make him stop. We are fadingโฆ let me close my calls first
[+5] u/Samjabr: I'm confused. I bought calls end of day yesterday.
How can the market be green - doesn't that mean I might actually make money?
[+5] u/justanaveragejoe520: So many shorts so ๐ฅญ looking for the squeeze & quick pump.
[+5] u/Shot-Welcome-2822: US is going to continue war effort but their objective has fuck all to do with the strait, just missiles capability, Iranian defense industry destruction and nuclear assets recovered/destroyed. Drill time. Oil up.
[+5] u/TonyAngelinoOFAH: That press conference convinced me we've lower to drop.
[+5] u/Illustrious_Pair2990: Do we dump or do we pump
[+5] u/FearlessStatement144: My god does buffet own cnbc. ย I have never seen anyone talk this long without commercial break. We get it
[+5] u/LiveInLayers: Word on the street is that kissing the wall helps keep theta away.
[+5] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: Half port CRWV half port NBIS
[+5] u/Madsen13140: Whore Moose was her name
[+5] u/Weak_Ostrich459: Honestly who decided that the market would be closed friday??? True loser hour in the holiday maker branch of the government.
[+5] u/whydouhatemecablegod: market will never be red again, not with these hormonal teenagers in charge
[+5] u/miata_only: I summon pot of greed to draw 3 additional cards from my deck
[+5] u/kerrykingzgo-T: Went to sleep super early last night and juuuuust woke up, how my QQQ weekly 555 puts looking?! Are we still "winning" lol
[+5] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: We pump over night, unload on regards in the morning. Buy cheap shares from Asia at night, We pump over night, unload on regards in the morning. Buy cheap shares from Asia at night, We pump over night...
[+5] u/twistnblaze: 650 pump pls so i can load more put
[+5] u/tobrie02: Holy shit does this guy think anyone believes anything heโs saying? What a joke
[+5] u/Creative_Walk_5579: obviously no end announced
[+18] u/TheRayATL: Shouldve never discovered options
[+18] u/Disc0Disc0Disc0: Factual bad news = down .3%
Manipulation fake news = up 1.6%
[+17] u/G0RD0N_CLARK: CNBC Headline: Dow rallies 400 points in final day of March on hopes the U.S.-Iran war could end sooon.
Hope is literally their justification.
[+16] u/_ThisDickAintFree_: Bulls, yโall are pathetic. Talking all this shit like you havenโt been getting buttfucked all month.
[+14] u/SHHFC: "Sir, they bought the fake news."
"Dump it."
[+14] u/parallelogramm3r: Let me guessโฆHe will pump the market with vague statements about ending the war, then one day after the market closes he will bomb Iranโs desalination plants.
[+14] u/Antiwhippy: Hegseth said Iran would take another 6-8 weeks and the market just ignored that i guess.
[+14] u/Weak_Emu3659: # AL JAZEERA: EXPLOSION TYPE SOUND HEARD IN GENERAL VICINITY OF MIDDLE EAST AREA
[+13] u/Violent_Mud_Butt: Easiest puts of my life.
[+13] u/Acceptable-Food-9163: Biggest bull trap of the entire war everyone is still under the impression that the strait will just open because ๐ฅญ said hes done
[+13] u/Future_Chipmunk_7897: The first war to end with a "lol, jk"
[+13] u/ekgnew: Trump: I will leave without solving the problem I created, which caused the correction in the first place, but at least I will not make it worse
Traders: BUY
[+13] u/Ancient_Let7878: I do like that both sides are so quick to shit on eachother just for the market to constantly flip ๐คฃ๐คฃ
[+13] u/Antique-Flight-5358: what we ripping for?? this is FAKE
[+12] u/trix_is_for_kids: I own the dumbest fucking companies
[+12] u/Soft-Usual-9909: And now we bleed throughout the day
[+12] u/rdblaw: Donโt trust the pump boys
[+12] u/Common_Ad_3059: 640 puts loaded for the 630 crash like yesterday
[+12] u/duma0610: You retards werenโt here during Covid.
[+12] u/throwaway_tendies: Rally on nothing but copium
[+12] u/Nictel: JOLT: The hires rate decreased over the month to 3.1 percent. This was the lowest hires rate since April
2020 when it was also 3.1 percent.
Bullish!
[+12] u/CallsOrPutsYES: Not a fan, here comes the DUMP and I am a massive BULL
[+12] u/dangri96: Recession canceled guys
[+11] u/Known-Presentation49: If ๐ฅญ really was going to pull out of Iran...he wouldn't give us a heads up. It would be a billion dollar swing play for him and his buddies and would be kept under wraps until the last moment. All other noise is just him pumping and dumping the market.
[+11] u/Marshmallowmind2: If you're all cash come back tomorrow
[+11] u/mrjacketman0303: There is absolutely no volume lmao
[+11] u/NHLBro: Everyone loading up on puts, what could go wrong?
[+11] u/2lowkey: Everyone is short which is why it will go up all day and fuck all of retail
[+11] u/FunInteraction9796: weโre closing red btw
[+11] u/Internal_Field5970: Iโm not buying until ATH
[+11] u/LostandConfused2024: Made a quick 14k today. Time to sell and chill for the day
[+11] u/Violent_Mud_Butt: Straight line up. This market is hilarious.
[+11] u/InvisibleGarden: Everyone thinks this is a fake pump and about to get faded. So itโs real this time. Or itโs fake. Direction wonโt be decided until I make a trade and market fucks me.
[+11] u/7fingersDeep: sold my puts- ๐๐ป can buy in now. Market will drop after I sold.
[+10] u/SaltyKrew: Too many gay bears in here
[+10] u/Erieztoys: Some of you will be exit liquidity today.
[+10] u/CumomEileen: I have no gas left in the tank to deal with today. And I mean that literally, financially and emotionally
[+10] u/nsrbigshot: lmao do people actually believe trump?
[+10] u/metalheadx7: https://preview.redd.it/hjteb5lzudsg1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=14d0009c69983cf505aa48cc7e6f32fdf9a4c337
[+10] u/Deep-Ad-8525: The pump might actually be real
[+10] u/StockB0Y: How is spy +1 percent is beyond me
[+10] u/syedhuda: this market manipulation is PISSIN ME OFF
[+10] u/RisingToMediocrity: How is leaving the war without reopening the strait bullish? Lmfao!!!
[+10] u/ConstantSpace5809: How is leaving Hormuz closed and pissing off allies bullish?
[+10] u/pleasestoptalkin: Going to need the hotline in here for everyone who bought puts on margin
[+10] u/thenamelessone7: What's going on? Did we win the same war again?
[+9] u/Neat-Ambition-2977: My 629 spy 1dte puts sent strait to the shadow realm
[+9] u/wasifaiboply: How many times have you been told "the war is over?" Is the strait open? Are U.S. forces being recalled? Has Iran unconditionally surrendered?
And you're buying? lmfao
๐คก๐
[+9] u/MilesDelta: Liberation Day soon and the market is pricing it in the same way my ex priced in commitment. Everyone's acting like tariffs are a bluff until the executive order drops and suddenly every supply chain manager in America is updating their resume simultaneously. If you're holding calls through tomorrow you're not investing, you're praying. And I respect that, but God doesn't check futures.
Positions: cash gang until the smoke clears, SPY puts loaded for Wednesday
[+9] u/419Penguins: I made a good $150 buying and selling really quick and im in profit overall. Done for the day bye guys๐ค
[+9] u/RisingToMediocrity: How is leaving the war without reopening the strait bullish? Lmfao!!!
[+9] u/7fingersDeep: Congratulations Reddit. We did it! We ended the war and saved the market!
[+9] u/OneLeggedJaguar: ๐จ๐จDO NOT BUY CALLS๐จ๐จ
[+9] u/ring_of_slattern: Thank god the war is definitely over this time for sure!
[+9] u/pekas13: You didnโt buy puts at 633 did you? ๐๏ธ๐๏ธ
[+9] u/Best_Sherbert_9481: Well I believe I made the wrong plays today
[+9] u/spudbro00: American consumers are the most confident with bullets flying, that's why we have so many mass shooters
[+9] u/Warm_Implement3088: buy puts and close app
[+9] u/_ThisDickAintFree_: Bulls hit a huge 3 to cut down the lead to 42.
[+9] u/Adventurous-Rain2955: That's all folks. Now go back to bed
[+9] u/teamdiabetes11: War declared over again. Market falls for it again on the 7th time. ๐
[+9] u/thefrozen_one: Oh Bol, when will you learn
[+9] u/Ok_Wealth_3433: We wonโt have a morning dump, too many idiots with puts rn
[+8] u/Immediate-Coast-5066: # Israel prepared to keep attacking Iran for 'weeks to come', military spokesperson says
[+8] u/Namtabmal: MICHAEL BURRY HAS ENDED HIS SHORT!! ๐จ๐จ๐จ๐จ๐จ
[+8] u/thowthembowz: open this shit up i want puts now!!!
[+8] u/AegonTheMeh: > Hegseth: "As far as President Trump and boots on the ground, I don't understand why the baseโฆ wouldn't have faith in his ability to execute on this. Look at his track record."
Oh yeah itโs happening
https://x.com/afpost/status/2038962655302709582
[+8] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Bols at 9:34 am: what happenedddd why are we going down why am I poor
[+8] u/SpyBagholder: Bought the dip. If youโre trading options in this volatility just Venmo me instead.
[+8] u/wasifaiboply: Oooo ๐ big mad and big scared after losing so much money. PLEASE DADDY DRUMPF SAVE MY PORT
[+8] u/guzzledglizzy: Enabling options in my Roth was regarded
[+8] u/Mcnuttey91: Ah yes brent at 118 this is fine
[+8] u/spumpadiznik: Bers doing pushups on the sideline waiting to be tagged in
[+8] u/Difficult-Ask2278: lol MU is fuckin crazy
[+8] u/kop47etzki: All the kids are dead but the markets back baby!
[+8] u/Disc0Disc0Disc0: We really pumping 1.3% on Trump saying they will end war without opening Hormuz (not good wtf???)
[+8] u/Smuvmuniz: This is a loss for us today bears I think -65 percent of my puts. Why they did this on a Monday night idk
[+8] u/Axonum: Still waiting for the rug pull
[+8] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: # Bers post your loss porn LMAO
[+8] u/mechajlaw: Lol are we actually just going to leave? This is John Bolton's own personal circle of hell
[+8] u/branpo26: Everyone who runs this country is retarded
[+8] u/Xczf: Didnt sell my puts yesterday and now im broke.
[+8] u/DroidArbiter: Anyone believing that Israel will let Cheetolini leave Iran when they still have 907lbs of enriched uranium-I have a bridge to sell you.
[+8] u/victoryboiiTCG: bulls keep feeding them their exit liquidity lol
[+8] u/DriftWoodBarrel: No way spy just retard pumps again. Puts now.
[+8] u/Internal_Field5970: The men say we will not survive the night
[+8] u/Redditing-Dutchman: Brent shooting up 119 but stocks are like; everything is fine!
[+8] u/BrokeDickRizz: โจmarket manipulation โจ
[+8] u/TheRayATL: Buy calls, shit goes down. Buy puts, shit goes up. Casinos love me
[+8] u/jonlmbs: This feels like a trap
[+8] u/Reply_Stunning: HOLD THE LINE BERS !!!! BOLS WILL BE FUK
[+8] u/yeezy_boost350v2: Tomorrow night breaking CNN: Trump going back to war ๐
[+8] u/newtoeso: What's the reason for this green lol. Nothing has changed tho
[+7] u/WingedScapula420: https://preview.redd.it/d9tnd1yatdsg1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=89786a254d95db0a560f3d2f7ee8799394e9bc73
[+7] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: IRANIAN MARKET STRATEGY WINNING
[+7] u/I_work_too_much: I've never seen candles so obviously making perfect use of exit liquidity lol
[+7] u/Muted-South4737: CALLS, BITCHES
on oil
[+7] u/RedditHatesDiversity: Thanks for the scam pump
[+7] u/stock_dude9: Itโs mind blowing to me that like 10 years ago we were told everything moving forward was about sustainability and reducing carbon emissions. Fast forward to today and we are now developing all this AI infrastructure which is an insanely heavy polluter, and Iโm reading within the next 5 years we could see a rocket launch into space every hour which is another insanely heavy polluter ๐คฃ
[+7] u/DuaLipa247: Bears moving in back with their parents
[+7] u/Icy_Calligrapher7080: Is no one concerned about the volume of this "rally"?
[+7] u/Slow-Information-847: Bols. This is almost last chance to exit. There is no deal ahead. We cant station 60k soldiers in the frontline while bombing them to oblivion. 1. They uses soldiers as target practice, 2, We sign a peace deal on their terms. 3. We do a full invasion sign a peace deal on our terms. #3 is the only way. Everything you heard otherwise is just ๐ฅญ pumping for Barron.
[+7] u/orangeyougladiator: When Iโm 50 if hot 20 year olds want to fuck me Iโll consider that a success
[+7] u/Goldleader-23: Surely this premarket pump is real right bulls? Definitely not loading up on puts right now. Nope not me
[+7] u/RevisedPerspective: Man I'm so glad the war is over, oil is flowing freely, Iran forgave the U.S. for murdering their leadership and bombing their infrastructure and a school, we slipped the leash of Israel, AI has started turning a profit, retail investors have excess cash to buy in...
We have every reason to hit ATH by April!
[+7] u/alldawgsgotoheaven2: Whatโs the news? Exactly fake and geh
[+7] u/ell_toon96: Ive seen this before
[+7] u/Dependent_Bike_3112: buy puts after 10 duh
[+7] u/AppleJuiceTwo: Iran literally just hit a tanker off the coast of dubai
[+7] u/swenau01: So the "war will end soon" pump finally worked the 6th time
[+7] u/Sea-Escape-8109: the next red candle will be massive
[+7] u/Free-Championship828: In your heart you know we are going to trend down
[+7] u/Muted-South4737: Evacuate now? In my time of triumph?! - bols
[+7] u/Namtabmal: Bers are gonna get obliterated. ahahahahah
[+7] u/Kowan: If course it does this when I buy puts
[+7] u/TheMightySet69: Nothing left to do but jack off and hope my puts recover
[+7] u/Me-Regarded: JOLTS great. Economy fine. Huge sigh of relief.
Ber fuk
[+6] u/bmault: Thinking i should cash out this USo $130 call. Only up 7% but dont wanna lose
[+6] u/blumpkinspatch: Why I canโt I find the daily thread half the time? THIS IS HOW I GET MY NEWS
[+6] u/dripdripto-death: I don't think we are getting a rug pull today. Retail has way too many puts out there. MMs are going to do what MMs do and steal from retail.
[+6] u/burnerAccountDuh24: Look at our beautiful market built on hopes and dreams
[+6] u/cryptohomunculus: Well if you look at the gamma, delta, poo poo, pee pee โ๏ธ๐ค keep losing money nerds
[+6] u/hioman01: Honestly we deserve a +5% day
[+6] u/CallsOrPutsYES: Here comes $140/barrel, thanks Cramer
[+6] u/UnknownM007: SPY deserves to shoot down 10% based on the nothingness of this press conference
[+6] u/Potential-Plum7187: Sorry bears, no dump today. Try again tomorrow.
[+6] u/EdoTensei10: MU is like, "Everything green? Ok, lets drill"
[+6] u/katger18: Buy US oil or go get your own OIL! Lol.
[+6] u/Seymour_asis501: If youโre reading this then itโs to late
[+6] u/OkAlternative7705: Ok whatโs the fucking news?
[+6] u/Tomokato2112: He didn't TACO, so down we go.
[+6] u/zipykido: Have you been the victim of exit liquidity? Call 1-800-go-f-yourself
[+6] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: META dodging the drill yesterday and now outpacing the premarket pump is giving me an ulcer
[+6] u/Bigamungus: Both sides seem equally confident today huh
[+6] u/zanzebar: Imagine buying puts literally on ๐ฎ Tuesday.
[+6] u/doriftuGuy: How can micron possibly be red right now?
[+6] u/Floppedthenuts_: All the bers downvoting. We got em.
[+6] u/J_da_CPA: โGo get your own oilโ
Says the man who inherited his ๐ฉ lmao
[+6] u/Cullen8228: Pumping on the head fake for the ground invasion
[+6] u/wrongrobertpatrick: I canโt wait to see red bc I just sold all of my crwv and nbis from yesterday
[+6] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Won
---
/u/BahtMann made a bet that NVDA would go to 170.0 within **3 days** when it was 164.85 and it did, congrats you fuckin nerd.
Their record is now 5 wins and 4 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+5] u/HunterSwifty05: gotta drop below 640
[+5] u/Ecodriverz: Straight back down to open price on spy LMFAO
[+5] u/yeahyoubored: Some of you donโt understand
Not all oil is created equal
Venezuela oil is pretty useless
USA oil also not optimal
MIDDLE EAST OIL IS LIKE THE WAYGU OF OIL
energy crisis isnโt really avoidable at this point, we are so fuked
[+5] u/Longjumping_Top_5671: Alright that was fun can we resume the dumping now
[+5] u/Both-Temporary5137: So to bypass the tolls, Europe's gonna ask India to buy oil for us.
Guess it's over (soon)
[+5] u/GuwopGOAT: Rug pull coming in around 11am. Plan accordingly
[+5] u/OnimushaWasGreat: Bad news thus shit aint going down. I know because i did my first truly aggressive puts since the war started today of fucking course
[+5] u/Spiritual-End7310: I do believe the worst of it is behind us! 50k here we come
/s
[+5] u/gooneral_MC: i wish everyone believed in america like the pajama traders do
[+5] u/CallsOrPutsYES: #At least Micron MU is honest about whatโs about to happen
[+5] u/MoreOutcome8541: Many will fall to the coming bull trap
[+5] u/VaIentineX: fuck man paper handed my calls yesterday
[+5] u/michaelklemme: Nooooooooo my puterinos
[+5] u/Xzlk: If oil gets pushed down here, we could dangerously rip
[+5] u/batman_crothers: Anyone know where I can subscribe to the Official White House Market Manipulation Advanced Warning Newsletter?
[+5] u/Drokeep: https://preview.redd.it/mvrp6crondsg1.jpeg?width=675&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9d50c690301e9000ece6946b08ca82aa481c516c
[+31] u/SxeySteve: Do y'all actually believe we sent 50k boots to the ME, just so when they all arrive we can say "nevermind, we give up"
I mean, for their sake I hope that's true, but do you actually believe it?
[+24] u/Sweaty_You1950: This rally has no legs until oil drops under 100 again. Until then, itโs just noise
[+22] u/MichaelsDinosaurs: RIP my puts they got hit by a bazooka
[+19] u/ParachuteAdams85: Ber market over. Everyone go back to talking about American Idol and neighborhood gossip
[+18] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #100% fake news. bro aint leaving lmao pump and dump.
[+17] u/Usedillusion7: So just pointing out the obvious here. Bols are 100 times more arrogant and insufferable when market is green compared to bears when market is red so never feel bad for even a second when these degenerates are on here begging for rope and for someone to put them out of their misery.
[+17] u/HowIsEmuWarriorTaken: Not sure how giving Iran the ownership of strait is bullish.
Maybe the algo only read straight
[+15] u/Humble_Code_6501: this pump is as real as my 10'' bbc
[+15] u/burtburtburtcg: Exit liquidity secured. Mission accomplished. Barron out.
[+13] u/Thom-_-Bjork: Market holding up on expectations of it dumping
[+13] u/zangor: this looks so fake and temporary. And thatโs why it will be so sweet and satisfying when it slowly keeps rising and obliterates you bears
[+13] u/angrybubblez: Did they pump so they could offload shares all day then dump it? Diabolical
[+13] u/Time-Cardiologist906: Fake pump. Anyone whoโs on wallstreet that believes this war is over deserves to lose their money.
[+12] u/FelixMumuHex: How is everything green, nothing changed the shitty situation in Iran between yesterday and today
[+12] u/Typical-Layer-1253: https://preview.redd.it/1cf89y885esg1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=864d2a1bf6477a425a4576d848b9a65b77dcc412
[+12] u/Happy-n-Healthy: The hard part is done. Go get your own oil.
Thank you for your attention to this matter
[+12] u/SuperSaiyanIR: Buy puts stocks go up, buy calls stocks go down. There needs to be an online index for me
[+12] u/Maximum-Cash7103: Bols back to shambles tomorrow
[+11] u/Phandomtrigger: Itโs crazy what separating you from being a millionaire and being homeless is timing and how close u r to ๐ฅญ
[+11] u/Crypto_naut_: holding the pump wtf
[+11] u/skychief99: Destroying Iran, which further destabilizes the region and likely making them more of a danger going forward, followed by allowing them to monetize a natural water passage (not a man made canal) which will increase oil by 40% forever, thus sending the USA into the worst economy ever is what I call WINNING.
[+11] u/DanasSideWife: Trump really thought him and beebs were gonna do a quick 3 day military operation in Iran just a couple weeks before the scheduled meeting with Xi in Beijing. LMAO havenโt heard a single things about rescheduling that meeting since.
[+11] u/Aggressive-Ad-2707: We pump on bad news now? LOL
[+11] u/sloanemonroe: The $200B they asked for the war is being used to prop the market up today instead
[+11] u/refrigeratorsHD: Who is seriously buying calls here
[+11] u/IcyLake2078: Too bullish in here on every little pump, thatโs how I know we have lower to go
[+10] u/Leather_Floor8725: It turns out the market didnโt care about the straight of homos being open or not, it only cared about mangos feelings
[+10] u/Nero23x: https://preview.redd.it/68k8h1r94esg1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=2f20a85ee4d38f9e5448d0d3be2c02cb6d47f38e
[+10] u/Ok_Material3073: I don't think people understand that Iran's leaders do not care about others and will drag this economy down for months just to make a point to not attack again.
[+10] u/Extension-Change-441: strait of hormuz, whatever happened there ..
[+10] u/hardcrepe: I literally bought puts at the bottom. Jesus Christ save me.
[+10] u/pixi88: Thanks for the cheap puts ya'll <3
[+10] u/Tacosdonahue: who tf is Brent and why does he determine oil price?
[+10] u/lSazedl: I take my plays from the Iranian PM
[+9] u/Top-Fig845: I've bought at the top again LOL
[+9] u/universal-deceit: Barron clearly bought callsโฆ
[+9] u/Soft-Objective3421: Financial Crisis DEEZ NUTS
We are so back!
[+9] u/nycitties: fuck this, taking a nap, nothing to do here
[+9] u/Wrath_FMA: Come on get to the high so I can load the boat on puts
[+9] u/f0xinaround: I trust this pump as much as I'd trust ๐ฅญ and nutlick in a room with my nieces and nephews.
[+9] u/browsk: MMs pissed retail had fun buying puts
[+9] u/Habefiet: Either insiders know weโre about to abandon the war or this is a simultaneous trap of bears from yesterday and bulls from today lol
[+9] u/Puzzleheaded-Use1533: Thursday is gonna be soooooo RED
[+9] u/gmon333: Idk guys might pump all day ๐ญ๐
[+9] u/EthanRio: I think puts is the play here, I think the selling will begin to start around 11 am .
[+9] u/postachioo: I donโt trust this pamp if oil is not going down
[+9] u/angrybubblez: Look at the prices of calls and puts. No one expects a 1% increase from here cause calls are .13
Puts for a 1-% downside are .70 +
[+9] u/universal-deceit: Been calling my gf the ayatollah since the war started, she HATES that shi ๐คฃ
[+9] u/absolutxtr: oh we gonna dump dump now.
[+9] u/cheetles_plus: Algos are programmed to begin dumping at 1030 lmao, happens every Tuesday without fail
[+8] u/Usedillusion7: Imagine if we had a president that actually read books instead of cooking them.
[+8] u/somewhere_cool: Tech up, oil up, BTC up, something gotta give
[+8] u/Rrrandomalias: Bols the type to use Microsoft Teams
[+8] u/vermilli21: Itโs gonna be one of those weeks. Pump after hours to dump during hours. Got it
[+8] u/Usedillusion7: Imagine being the adult wsb permabull and being to dumb and gullible to realize you're following a bunch of 17 year old kids.
[+8] u/BobsBurners420: Reporters reportedly reporting that the war is over
[+8] u/ItsDaManBearBull: Drill team 6 in position, you are cleared to engage. Eliminate all hostiles.
[+8] u/angusjones1: They have to throw one green day in there every once in a while. Happens every week. Don't get too excited.
[+8] u/Marcostbo: Can someone give me a reasonable explanation on why SPY is VERY green
[+8] u/Grey-59throwaway: I knew the bears would save me
[+8] u/OneTrueDweet: Reported for reporting
[+8] u/McKoijion: Dude wrote this on Sunday.
> Heads-up: Pre-market so-called โnewsโ or โTruthโ is often just a setup for profit-taking. Basically, itโs a reverse indicator.
> Do the opposite: If they pump it, short it. If they dump it, go long.
> See something tomorrow? You know the drill.
Itโs now day after tomorrow. I guess it doesnโt apply anymore.
[+8] u/Unusual-Exercise-462: spy has to dump right?
[+8] u/softboiledjadepotato: The fact Iran can manipulate the market just as effectively as ๐ฎ is ultimate trolling
[+7] u/financiallythriving: *me on my death bed*
And to my family, I leave you my large, cumulative debt from option trading. If Margin calls you, donโt pick up
[+7] u/XorAndNot: doubling the jet fuel price has to be bad for airlines right, specially ones already struggling right?
[+7] u/Gristle__McThornbody: AWE CRAP IT'S UNFUTING
[+7] u/thegreatgumbini: Copium is a POWERFUL drug...
[+7] u/Kooky_Resource6348: Why do regards in this sub not understand the concept of lower highs in a market pullback/crash.
[+7] u/x2manypips: So oil stays above $100? Yeah we are so screwed
[+7] u/Bravadette: The way people got excited on here about Greenland reminds me a lot of the way people are getting excited about Iran, like they actually do want this. Fear doesnt make me excited unless I know its fake, like a horror movie or rollercoaster. I dont get excited by the idea of real death, or relational drama that hurts people.
[+7] u/DynoJoe27: All these bulls celebrating after 6 mins of green are really funny
[+7] u/shindiggaa: the strait of hormuz might be forever fucked but the war's over. time to get back to ATH's
[+7] u/Pretend_Total5864: That bounce off 641 shows we arenโt going down today
[+7] u/Questing4Greatsword: took a shower instead of slamming puts thank god
[+7] u/Bryzera: God I love TACO tuesday ๐ฎ ๐ฅญ
[+7] u/ruben_fr_cordeiro: I went full retard in 2026. Won't be able to go back now.
[+7] u/wilhelm96: MU beginning its daily bloodbath right on schedule
[+7] u/Oldschoolhype2: Market pumping over aide comments is the funniest evidence of bol IQ yet.
[+7] u/labtekJC: He WISHES he could negotiate a deal as good as Obama's.
[+7] u/LeupMeisterGenral: Far too bullish in here we are going to dump retards!
[+6] u/-user222: sell spy 0dte calls now or later
[+6] u/Flexlex724: Ok what time rugpull scheduled today
[+6] u/Successful-End7689: Pulling out without opening the Gay of Hormuz would be the end of US hegemony
[+6] u/Ok_Cry7572: MU just can't have a green day huh
[+6] u/fewthingsarerelated: Welp buying MU calls on Friday morning was NOT the move. -70% already lost $6k
[+6] u/Careless-Pen8895: Thereโs your face ripper again
[+6] u/Melodic_Cat_5047: Mango basically done a shit in the bathtub and left it
[+6] u/hodl_poke_stay_calm: Of course it pumps before 401k's can buy the dip
[+6] u/doctorqaz: Early morning pump, afternoon dump?
[+6] u/ResidentPack4103: My cousin Vinny is a lawyer n said dnt wry about the Meta litigation its a buy...we gonna meet up at the sak o suds later today and play the numbers
[+6] u/Snowman33001: LOL theyโre building a Donald J. Trump Library??!!?
Now thatโs a good one
[+6] u/mapsosa: market up MU down
market down MU extinction
iโm tired boss ๐
[+6] u/svpa3991: Only down 20% on these puts I say as I wipe my tears
[+6] u/chainerection: Mu drops like a ~~ram~~ rock
Edit : rock
[+6] u/weewoowewoooo: MU still dumping lmfao fucking regarded
[+6] u/Cav829: Clearly a pause for Bessent to print some more money to cover his oil shorts.
[+6] u/Philthatman: We all realize its actually Thetas time
[+5] u/Th3_Paradox: Expecting sense out of this madness is...uhhh, I guess madness.
[+5] u/Embarrassed-Wind1347: Opened high, closed low
[+5] u/universal-deceit: Some of yโall be trading and driving and it showsโฆ
[+5] u/ShitpostSulthan: this is nothing but shorts covering...it will dump again..
[+5] u/Jeremy1013: hey bears, we got em 10-4
[+5] u/EntrepreneurOld7858: Im just here to laugh at the traders who care more about their emotions than making money
๐ซต๐
[+5] u/haihaihaihaihaihai1: who bought calls at the TOP?!
[+5] u/Extension-Change-441: hard landing today please
[+19] u/Popular_Song3371: WE NEED MORE MEN ON THE 640P LINE. I'M RELOADING COVER ME
[+17] u/VellyJanta: Peace and ceasefire talks going well, we just hit a desalination plant.
[+16] u/ksyoung17: 642 is cool, but have you tried 637?
[+16] u/old-cow666: Mmmmm fake pump looks yummy
[+15] u/lax_street: Market up on fake ๐ฅญ news and fake job numbers using fake money. The hunger in my stomach is real though.
[+15] u/tonytwocans: The Pentagon pizza tracker is cooking.... Tonight we ball
[+14] u/intxcated: Bought puts and it V-ed
[+14] u/1x1equal2: If I just did the opposite of every trade that I've done, I'd be one pretty successful trader
[+14] u/Whoopziedaisy: Mango whines more than that kid in middle school with bad ADHD thatโs never satisfied
[+13] u/DealNormal8505: lol oil is up today this is the definition of a fake pump
[+13] u/Nova-JC: Damn I was up 90% on my 0dte puts went to see a patient for 20 minutes and now the gains erased
[+13] u/drcornwallis23: This is such a bear market rally / bullshit fake out story from orange man
[+13] u/Fast-Steak-7730: Sold calls bought puts. Youโre welcome
[+12] u/dylanx5150: No matter how many times I tell myself not to buy options within 30 minutes of market open I never listen.
[+12] u/dontlikeyacutG: Iโm closing the app, my puts better be makin money when I look again :(
[+12] u/Lapidated_Llama: Hiring down to pandemic lows. Thanks ๐ฅญ
[+12] u/Randomname1157: You would have thought that record high oil prices was bullish
[+12] u/VellyJanta: Yโall know we in a meme market when no one even mentioned JOLTS today lol
Fuck reports the market hangs on truth social posts ๐คฃ
[+12] u/oldsguy65: I miss being able to wake up every morning without rushing to check my phone and wondering what that asshole has done now.
[+12] u/ButtExterminator: bers after not seeing a big mushroom cloud this morning: ๐ก๐ก๐ก๐ก
[+12] u/zestykite: puts took a beating today. stonks up, oil still very high.
[+12] u/drbigtoe: This rally brought to you by hopium and delusion
[+12] u/emr1028: Wall Street seems to, every day, suddenly remember the whole war thing.
[+11] u/Sidney_Godsby: Live look at all the delulubols furiously deleting their naive comments from 20 mins ago
https://preview.redd.it/9rjg85yoaesg1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3a252fb31b3da305734a9222007faa8c8af09cec
[+11] u/FuckingJPMAlgos: # Can someone please tell me why the fuck we pumpin?
[+11] u/SoloOutdoor: The next drop will probably be a 10% 1929r
[+10] u/Bizonistic: New infinite money glitch: buy puts on every bounce
[+10] u/Rolltide43: Bols are always mean in the morning just to shut the fuck up by noon
[+10] u/brokenb3ar: This is why people think day trading is a scam ๐ญ
[+10] u/AirportMaterial5917: slim money tie simplistic teeny hobbies brave shy grandfather rob
[+10] u/Ok_Dish1650: Ber blew a 28 - 3 lead
[+10] u/TruChains: Why does anybody think we wonโt pump to the top of our downtrend and then classically draw down again? Algos will force this.
[+10] u/Proper_Button3326: market manipulation is at ATH
[+10] u/Curious_Ad8367: Lmao itโs about to really dump
[+10] u/Mindless-Week-1250: IRGC is long (range missiles) on Alphabet and Microsoft
[+10] u/Ben10pronouns: You ever opened a position and the next day you're like wtf was I thinking Couldn't be be
[+10] u/aqjingson: Donโt forget markets closed on Friday
[+10] u/14BrewMan: Legit question. What the fuck is going on?
[+10] u/Any_Refrigerator2330: Force a negotiation! The art of the deal, never heard about?
[+9] u/Normal_Tap3021: Spy and oil pumping together. Spy is going to crash hard again
[+9] u/Lapidated_Llama: Canโt go long anymore with a regard running the show and canโt day trade because all the moves are all AH. ๐ฅญ s market is complete trash
[+9] u/n0m0rem0ney: 9:30 dump incoming, 10 dump incoming, 10:30 dump incoming, 11 dump incoming, 11:30dump incoming-๐ป spy moves .1% SEE I TOLD YOU๐ป
[+9] u/ManyManufacturer6090: Thank you bols, you guys arenโt as smart as you think you are
[+9] u/MrT_IDontFeelSoGood: ๐ฅญ saying the strait will โautomaticallyโ open once our military leaves
Lmao insanity and we might actually pump on it
[+9] u/Burtonwurton: Fucking MSFT doesnt follow indices up, but sure as fuck will follows it down. Fuck you MSFT
[+9] u/StandardDot5115: the eternal lesson continues
markets do not perfectly mirror the economy
[+9] u/plugwalls: Every time I check this thread the moods flipped lol
[+9] u/diefy7321: #bers really fuking thot lmfaoooooooooooooo
[+9] u/YepRabbit: Donald Pump lost his magic
[+9] u/palmanul: ๐ฅญ being in full dementia and not even able to truth would be the most bullish thing at this point
[+9] u/Throwaway23_SOS: Please God donโt be a dead cat bounce lmao
[+9] u/TruChains: Ugh our politicians are too young! 85 years experience minimum.
[+9] u/EpiphyticOrchid8927: Trump actually makes me want to commit sudoku what the fuck is he even doing
[+9] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: So dead cat bounce got it..
[+8] u/jay4281: The more oil goes upโฆ the more SPX puts I buy
[+8] u/fire_alarmist: The real market is already trading $3 away from your entry by the time you see a good entry on your 5 minute delayed goyim charts LOL. Imagine throwing your money away on options today when this is an obvious "steal literally every ounce of options premium from every single goyim in the market then make up lines to justify it later" type day. You arent even playing in the same market as the big boys, you are just getting siphoned.
[+8] u/Moepenmoes: This is either a bull trap, or a dead cat bounce, or both
[+8] u/RjBloxks: Too bearish in here for them to dump it
[+8] u/Agreeable_Language88: if u didnt buy puts 20 minutes ago just quit trading plz
[+8] u/KroKart100: My port is gone. Holy fuck.
[+8] u/Out_Phishing: I fking miss Bidens market
[+8] u/tutah: Good thing I didnโt paper hand these puts
[+8] u/MrIntuition: Iran PM told us how to trade with this admin and he hasnโt been wrong
[+8] u/bearhunter429: #We had 5 red weeks in a row and if this week were also red it would have been the longest red week streak since 2009. Somehow they had to break the combo. LMAO๐ค
[+8] u/Paul_Robert_: That AMC $1.5 calls guy is so cooked ๐
[+8] u/Burger_Gouger: I can say with upmost confidence that this is the top. Based off nothing but vibes it just is.
Vibe coding, vibe economics, vibe wars.
Calls on vibras
[+7] u/NotMe357: "Russia is sending upgraded drones used in the Ukraine war to Iran, per NYP"
[+7] u/TrickyDickCheney: Oil is heading to a record price and is going to cause a global recession. The only debate about this at this point is timing
[+7] u/thevolxme: I am no bear ๐ป ูbut why tf are we even up rn ?
[+7] u/OptionsHuduga: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! PLEASE TAKE UR SEATS! THE RUG PULL WILL BE STARTING IN 5 MINS! PLEASE ENJOY THE SHOW!
[+7] u/Budget_Shake5188: I would almost feel bad for bulls for being so stupid if they werenโt so annoying
[+7] u/nolanjp: Iran said the war is not over untill they say it's over lmao
[+7] u/joeyeats: impossible to trade with the random dumps and pumps
[+7] u/aqjingson: I genuinely think 90% of ppl here actually wouldโve done better keeping cash in a savings account and losing to inflation for the past 5 years than do this shit
[+7] u/kenathen: by the way , is tariff still there or 100% gone
[+7] u/Xs2experience: Reload puts boys, next drop is gunna be bigger
[+7] u/dudetrustm3: YALL ENJOYING THE ROLLERCOASTER? ๐ข
[+6] u/Pale-Silver-8178: sideways action so MMs can fk both sides
[+6] u/Panacamana: I am once again here to say BoLs rEaLlY tHoUgHt
[+6] u/ebitdasga: I just woke up how is oil and spy up?
[+6] u/zestykite: All in puts here. Oh well. Let's see how this plays or
[+6] u/LongCucumber3710: Good day to sell everything?
[+6] u/catfromgarfield: imagine this ends red
[+6] u/pumpkin1986: Damn, went to jork it and missed the dump
[+6] u/Visible_Ad6287: Strait apparently doesn't matter we surging from here!?
[+5] u/N3XUSBLAZ3R: lol just play the lunch dump
[+5] u/aphelion99: Chris Paul hits a huge 3 to cut the lead to 42
[+5] u/automoebeale: All I see is resistance
[+5] u/TrickyDickCheney: Watch what happens to oil when all the people losing money trying to short it stop shorting it
[+5] u/Adrenochrist: Is the market actually beliving that this is over?
[+36] u/Illustrious_Job1951: "When we leave the strait will automatically open" - ๐คก
[+25] u/brock2063: CNBC saying there's an "unconfirmed report" that the Iranian prez is open to negotiating the end of the war and opening of the straight. That's the pump ๐
[+24] u/Axwe8: # ๐จ Reminder: Strait of Hormuz is still closed ๐คก
[+22] u/Low-Discussion-131: Iran declared no terms will be accepted and no talks. Full war no negotiations.
[+21] u/whitepug: ITS A HEADLINE FROM YESTERDAY LMFAOOOOOOO
[+20] u/HunterVolte: How the fuck is spy holding 1.5% today with oil, news of Iran attacking huge us tech companies, and the ongoing war. Iโm actually confused how this is bullish in any way
[+18] u/kawkface: BREAKING: Iran's IRGC issues a warning that they will target 18 US technology companies if the US continues "targeted assassinations" of Iranian leaders, beginning on April 1st.
The companies include Nvidia, Apple, Microsoft, Google, Tesla, Intel, Oracle, IBM, Meta, Boeing, and others.
Brooooooo
[+18] u/TERRAIN_PULL_UP_: Oh yeah, I remember why I stopped trading now
[+16] u/FinePerformance1046: I should probably stop gambling on the stock market before I ruin my life
[+16] u/PretendAgency2702: Shit is about to drop off a cliff
[+16] u/boostlee33: Please rug this shit to 635
[+16] u/Ok-Prior-9953: USA: Stop nuclear enrichment and weโll recognize your sovereignty over the Strait
IRAN: We have sovereignty over the Strait
USA: You wonโt if we escalate
IRAN: Fuckn do it bro
From my armchair, I bet this is the jist of it
[+15] u/NationalMedia8201: Whenever this drop comes itโs gonna be fast. Iโm talking 1-3% in a 5min span
[+15] u/bringkiteback: Just bought puts Iโm about to pump this
[+15] u/Hardbun: Warren Buffett said on MSNBC that "this current drop is nothing", uh ohhh
[+15] u/No-Significance-8934: Dude made spy a pump and dump meme stock.
[+15] u/Danny98888: Puts only down 90% for now, still have 10% left
[+14] u/seeking-health: The pump is totally artificial. I hope you're not stupid enough to buy
[+14] u/cosmicoconuts: NOT selling my 0dte puts, ready to get cooked
[+14] u/rayquan36: Uh did they just announce Iran as the 51st state or something?
[+14] u/Interesting_Leg8859: # BER GOING TO NEED PRESCRIPTION STRENGTH RECTAL CREAM AFTER TODAY LMAOOOO
[+14] u/guhhhh_MU: up 40% today..... only need 800% tomorrow to be at break even! man I love trading
[+14] u/Nice-Difference8641: BREAKING: president of Tehran University model UN club says heโs โready for peaceโ SPY +20%
[+13] u/Purple_String_7169: Spy up and oil upโฆ something feels funny here
[+13] u/JustFuckingSendIt: WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
[+13] u/trumpdiego: is... is iran learning how to manipulate the market too?
[+13] u/Iceman12145: Lmao it was fake news ๐
[+13] u/JakeTappersCat: Iran surrenders twice already but somebody keeps launching rockets. Strange
[+13] u/Big-Scene-4935: All the times I bought callsโฆ and the day I buy puts it moons
[+13] u/ViridianEight: ๐ฅญ prob told the iranian president if he pumps the market heโll split the insider trading profits 50/50, art of the deal
[+13] u/el-art-seam: So unconfirmed report Iranian president said he was open to stopping the war with guarantees led to the jump?
[+13] u/Subject_Delay5447: Iโm in line waiting for an interview at Wendyโs, and suddenly a bunch of people just left at the same time
[+13] u/Fkn1v1mem8: Got absolutely gaped today -10k being a bear is gay
[+13] u/sleven207: US lifts Russia oil sanctions because strait of hormuz is close -> Russia rakes in money from elevated oil price -> Russia uses cash to make drones -> Russia sells drones to Iran -> Iran uses drones to keep strait closed -> US lifts oil Russia oil sanctions ...
It's the circle of life
[+13] u/Kind-Recognition4528: Just went to a local bar to have a beer and lost 8k. Fuck. Fucking beer cost me 8.01k
[+12] u/WeakPeak1015: Good game yโall, I got wiped out
[+12] u/Haboubiii: Brent just hit 118, why are we pumping?????????
[+12] u/Nice-Difference8641: Being frustrated and annoyed that the market isnโt more down on clearly terrible news and is displaying a ridiculous amount of irrational behavior is not the same as wanting the market to crash, and I feel like some of the more ๐ฅญ sympathetic users here like to conflate the two. Iโm sure some users want stove touching for the sake of it but this is more like being frustrated someone furiously denys their hand hurts when theyโre touching a hot stove
[+12] u/Haunting-Window-5125: Easiest puts of my life
[+12] u/MeanReplacement9258: IRAN'S PRESIDENT PEZESHKIAN STATES THEY ARE PREPARED TO END THE WAR IF THEY RECEIVE GUARANTEES.
[+12] u/whitehypeman: Insider trading mode activated.
[+12] u/dUjOUR88: Extremely normal market behavior
[+12] u/AmeriMan2: Totally a bull trap. Tomorrow is April fools after all.
Iran is playing tricks
[+12] u/Aggravating_Sir_4709: The Iran Prez literally has 0 power. Another fake pump headline. Tiresome.
[+11] u/Far-Requirement9180: Risked 10k to make fiddy bucks. A win is a win. Off to the gym now lol
[+11] u/DragPi: Its coming to 630 now i feel it
[+11] u/Sengle473: Itโs okay bols need their relief rally. I get it.
[+11] u/ecoburner87: this is eery, man
the world is burning, oil is pumping, and Big Tech suddenly catches a bid
cmon now
[+11] u/daddysgirl794: SPY up 2% while oil up 2% doesn't sit right for me
[+11] u/ZaltWasTaken: This reminds me of that day tariffs got canceled and spy went up 10%
[+11] u/Ozqi: JUST IN:
IRANIAN LEADER SAYS โI am also invested in the S&P 500, I canโt handle these losses, fuck it open the strait SPY to 800โ
[+11] u/rayquan36: Crashing down now, someone made a bunch of money.
[+11] u/ThouOne: Bought puts at market open, how are my puts doing?
[+11] u/jakeisarake: THEY CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS TO BEARS LMAO
[+11] u/sonianevermindX: Str8 still closed btw
[+11] u/ToroLoco_TL: These weak ass news got us pumping 2% in 30 secs, imagine when the war actually ends
[+11] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Just took that opportunity to sell everything. All cash and don't even care if I miss the recovery pump if it really is over. Not worth the risk
[+11] u/fish_: where is the fucking source i canโt find any news
[+11] u/rollinhating: โUnconfirmed sourcesโ great.. someone in the administration trying to pump
[+11] u/__nameless____: Almost +2.5% SPY move with the threat of global oil crisis, even with wsb standard, that shit is regarded
[+11] u/ConfectionRecent2586: Im buying calls, it goes down. I buy puts, it goes up. I need to be studiedโฆ
[+11] u/horseisahorse: >Iran's President Pezeshkian: We're ready to end war, but want guarantees.
>12:35 Mar 31
[+10] u/MuchSuccess: Bought puts right before this spike gg
[+10] u/SirPanic12: Looks like insiders getting a head start over potential big news coming in soon. Iโve never seen this gain on no news
[+10] u/BigBritches619: Im astronomically fucked. Gonna have to live in my car now.
[+10] u/Rvin16: Reject bol and Ber. Return to Monke
[+10] u/tldamico: https://preview.redd.it/zkukv1m4lesg1.png?width=591&format=png&auto=webp&s=5f497eeffb17a25607c7159c707e1ad992769d13
[+10] u/justaddcatalyst: Sony raising PS5 price $100 after 6 years on market. This economy is doomed.
[+10] u/2AMTrader: Would trump ever lie? about war?
[+10] u/Yousoldmetohigh: Holy shit they are killing the bers.
[+10] u/Ok-Indication-3754: Guys I think weโve seen this before
[+10] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: Idk how I still have a job. I do as little as possible everyday. Delegate shit to my team like 95% of the time. Use Claude for the rest. Canโt believe this dumbass company still wants me around lmao
[+10] u/TrollerCoasterWoo: โWell, I think itโll automatically open, but my attitude is, Iโve obliterated the country. They have no strength left, and let the countries that are using the strait, let them go and open itโฆโ
Lmao, which is it? Is it going to โautomatically openโ or do other countries open the strait?
https://nypost.com/2026/03/31/us-news/trump-tells-the-post-the-war-against-iran-wont-last-much-longer-strait-of-hormuz-will-reopen-automatically-after-us-exit/
[+10] u/Dry_Bar_4965: this is gonna go right back down isnt it?
[+10] u/HelloViggomanFanHere: Thats it, fully ported into puts. Time to announce a ground invasion mr orange
[+10] u/Haunting-Window-5125: Oil and spy moving up together, lol one is destined to crash
[+10] u/CanadianAbroad7: โIn Iran's political structure, the President holds significant administrative power but is strictly subordinate to the Supreme Leader and the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) in all matters of national security and strategic policy.โ
[+10] u/JanGuillosThrowaway: Does this look like a pump n dump to anybody else?
[+10] u/deevee12: Market is addicted to tacos
They still think ๐ฅญ can just pull out whenever he wants and everything will go back to normal
That sort of thing worked with the tariff bullshit but it's not going to cut it this time
[+10] u/Significant_Speed854: Oil still strong, indexes up.
Market manipulation on end of quarter day also strong.
[+10] u/CattleOk7674: Even as a bull u know this shit aint right
[+10] u/TycoonCyclone: So some random tweet sends the whole s&p up 2%โฆ.gotcha
[+9] u/Ill-Expression1737: down 4k on poots. i was due for a day like this
[+9] u/maximuminimum: All this tells you is that the markets are itching like a hound to give you a-something you wantโฆ be careful bears
[+9] u/99Fan: Liberation day pump v2
[+9] u/ImFaucy: That really just made millionaires
[+9] u/Portland-: Watch us put boots on the ground and totally reverse this lol
[+9] u/AnAssholesBestFriend: These green candles on the indices are some of the most fraudulent I've seen LMAO
[+9] u/Purple_String_7169: Manipulations are real today.
[+9] u/bullhunter469: Bears swimming to Strait of Hormuz to take a shit in it and block it themselves LMAO
[+9] u/Impressive_Fly_4339: WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING ??????????
[+9] u/JakeSal10: No more than 11 minutes ago Israel bombed lebanon btw
[+9] u/Emere59: And boys, that's why 0dte is gambling. I got f..ked
[+9] u/Haunting-Window-5125: Bulls were so desperate to stop being railed in the ass that they all latched onto a news story reporting a basic fact of conflict. Wow a country is willing to end a war if their demands are met LOL you don't get more stupid than this haha
[+9] u/spookc46: # And you thought there wasn't a good use case for AI:
# A man used AI to call 3,000 Irish bartenders to track the cost of Guinness. Now pubs are lowering their prices to compete.
[https://fortune.com/2026/03/30/guinness-beer-prices-ireland-anthropic-claude-ai/?utm\_source=snacks&utm\_medium=email&utm\_campaign=snacks\_20260331&utm\_content=ffe516c13081c15c6f2e417139a1d31b](https://fortune.com/2026/03/30/guinness-beer-prices-ireland-anthropic-claude-ai/?utm_source=snacks&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=snacks_20260331&utm_content=ffe516c13081c15c6f2e417139a1d31b)
[+9] u/CalRippedken: This pump was promised to us 3000 years ago
[+9] u/Axwe8: # IRAN BOUGHT CALLS. WAR ENDING GG BERS ๐คก ๐คฃ ๐คฃ ๐คฃ
[+9] u/bm211201: "Iran's President Pezeshkian: We're ready to end war, but want guarantees."
[+9] u/ThetaGrim: I feel like this is a rugpull...
[+9] u/Comprehensive-Eye547: Fuck who ever did that to my puts lmao
[+9] u/Upset_Pool2319: What in the insider trading shit is this lmfao
[+9] u/ShopWhileHungry: Bulls launching attacks on bers Island
[+9] u/Thebaxxxx: Do you guys think that me selling nearly 3k worth of 0dte fd's caused the spike?
[+9] u/NativePlant870: Oil is up and spy is up. Something has to give
[+9] u/IslandExact429: I just went from being down $10k to being up in 12 minutes on SPX Jesus
This shit makes you question everything LMAO
[+9] u/Vegetable-Acadia-766: I donโt understand oil still climbing but spy holding up. Wtf am I missing.
[+9] u/PuzzledLeader8941: Yeah deleting robinhood for the week. Best of luck boys
[+8] u/LightOverWater: "IRANโS PRESIDENT PEZESHKIAN: WEโRE READY TO END WAR, BUT WANT GUARANTEES"
[https://www.streetinsider.com/Trader+Talk/Irans+President+Pezeshkian%3A+Were+Ready+To+End+War%2C+But+Want+Guarantees+-+Reports/26248766.html](https://www.streetinsider.com/Trader+Talk/Irans+President+Pezeshkian%3A+Were+Ready+To+End+War%2C+But+Want+Guarantees+-+Reports/26248766.html)
[+8] u/NativePlant870: Classic VIX suppression day. Bloodbath resumes tomorrow
[+8] u/oohhfeistylilthang: Iran just launched an attack on your puts
[+8] u/Ok-Barracuda39: The daily comments moving so fast no one will see that I play for both teams.
[+7] u/AbletonUser333: >"We have the necessary will to end the war by complying with its requirements, particularly guarantees to prevent a recurrence of aggression," Pezeshkian said during a phone call with European Council President Antรณnio Costa.
This is literally Russia/Ukraine all over again.
[+7] u/year2039nuclearwar: Iran's President Pezeshkian: We're ready to end war, but want guarantees.
This is the news guys, the fact that you don't know is unlucky
[+7] u/soad1331: According to my Technical Anal Assist... There will be a green boner soon
[+7] u/No_Current3675: This is all pretty fucktarded.
[+7] u/Indra_Sx: All the good stuff happens after I lose my moneh
[+7] u/iFiredIce: The amount MU bag holders here is astounding
[+7] u/TyroneSwoopes: The crossover between the bro science raw meat diet crowd and the pump yourself full of research chemical Chinese peptide crowd is kind of funny if you think about it
[+7] u/Some_Hall_2797: How can you trade this market
[+7] u/wright_on_: The strait is now a PvP zone, 2x XP but permanent loot drops
[+7] u/emanresu711: I sold yesterday and it pumped. Sure Iโll buy in this shrek dick
[+28] u/RoughBorder3264: so literally nothing happened
just pumped for no reason. only to dump soon
[+22] u/Guest_0_: Let me see if I have this.
Orange nut sack indicates he wants to pull out before the strait is open, and yells that the rest of the world should jump in and fix this absolutely unimaginable fucking disaster he's created for world energy markets, fertilizer, and aluminum.
That happening is one of the worst case scenarios as now we have an Iran that's emboldened to keep the strait closed to US and allies and there is no possibility of it reopening because the US will not agree to Iran terms or pay restitution.
Oil prices stay elevated and Iran now starts charging tolls to further push inflation.
Yet the market is pumping like the war is over when literally nothings changed except one of the worst possible outcome of this conflict is advertised, the worst being the destruction of neighboring de sal plants.
Make it make sense.
[+21] u/SuspiciousStable9649: This rug is gonna be nasty.
[+20] u/housemoneyrocketship: Iran tomorrow: April Fools
[+20] u/LarryStink: I lost my best friend in december and this morning I just found out my little brother died in an accident last night. You never know when the last time you will see someone is so dont take day to day life for granted. Tell your friends and family you love them and spend as much time with them as you can.
[+19] u/MDemon: Mango pumps markets when retail canโt access
IRGC pumps markets when you can trade FDs
WHO really has YOUR ๐ซต ๐
๐ค๐ค๐ค
[+19] u/Beginning_Sentence69: Traded $100 profit today, its a gain for ants but im sure im beating 90% of people in this sub right?
[+17] u/NonimiJewelry: Incase you wanted to know how fake this pump was here is the actual information coming from Iran โAraghchi: We have not responded to the USโs 15 point proposal
โWe have not sent any response to the 15 American proposals, nor have we submitted any proposals or conditions,โ Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi tells Al Jazeera.โ
[+16] u/Anal_holocost: So oil price is up. Strait under Iran's control, toll paid in yuan. Big chunk of oil and gas infrastructure destroyed. Russia banned oil exports. And somehow market go up.
I honestly can't believe it. I don't think Israel wants to accept this and the US certainly would suffer a lot from loosing the petrodollars.
Until mango pulls troops back home I'm holding my puts
[+16] u/negan90: Barron about to sell his calls and get puts
[+16] u/Micheal_Hancho: # FINALLY THE SANTA RALLY IS HERE ๐
๐ผ
[+16] u/ajr901: This shit is so stupid. This guy _hints at_ potentially getting out of the war, doesn't even fully commit to it, and then says that if he does the strait can remain closed for all he cares, which is bad for oil, and yet everything pumps while oil dumps.
Explain that shit to me.
[+16] u/Unable_Bat_3159: Itโs gonna dump isnโt it
[+15] u/GoldenAries4: Yeaaa Iโm staying in cash. I have no idea whatโs going on. I cannot find any news that explains this.
[+15] u/Beginning-Visual2341: Still holding puts, eff it
[+15] u/Solid_Direction_8929: nothing has changed. This is just technical rally, will dump again tomorrow.
[+15] u/ignatious__reilly: Today literally marks END OF Q1
Firms are clearing their books. Bull TRAP
That quote everyone is talking about demands reparations and they arenโt giving up the Strait
[+15] u/Intrepid-Song: Can someone tell me my 0Dte puts will be ok
[+15] u/pandadrizzle: Unconfirmed reports say Iranian president just vowed to accept Jesus Christ as his lord and savior! ๐
[+15] u/Sea_Character_9896: Decouple from reality pump
[+14] u/Careful_Response4694: Remember when Zelensky said he wanted the war to end but needed *security guarantees*? That was one *year* ago.
[+14] u/ignatious__reilly: This is END OF MONTH, literally last day.
Firms are clearing their books. Bull TRAP
Iran isnโt giving the Strait up you regards
[+14] u/Bcider: Why are we pumping? So Trump managed to probably kill the US petrodollar and the entire world hates us even harder now?
[+14] u/log1ck1717: Who else bought puts?
[+14] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: Iranian Prez claiming he wants to end the warโฆ
Does the market realize he has less power than a street vendor?
[+14] u/PuzzleheadedTear5969: Operation Epic Fury. who tf comes up with this shit dude.
[+13] u/verifiedone: Folks want a war to make $300 on a put lol
[+13] u/Independent_Drop4317: The Vs are more epic in the bear market
[+13] u/BearContra: None of this news is anything new. They are just trying to mask quarter end rebalancing. Going to rug pull hard tomorrow morning.
[+13] u/Fraxial: Most obvious bulltrap ever
[+13] u/Comfortable_Oil6642: Pin the hotline for bears.
[+13] u/Tay_Tay86: It is incredible how badly led around by the nose bulls can be
[+13] u/gkdjsl: This pump is absolutely unjustified, Pezeshkian's statement has no bearing on reality and ultimately it doesn't come down to him
No, I'm not holding puts, I'm salty I sold my calls too soon
[+13] u/SeliciousSedicious: All bears to the nutty putty cave!
Calling all bears to the nutty putty cave!
[+12] u/OsamaBagHolding: I feel like the prettiest goat in Afganistan
[+12] u/Throwawayz911: The global economy is saved!ย Thanks to:
THE POWERPUFF GIRLS
[+12] u/ClearResident1292: Still donโt really know whatโs going on
[+12] u/Money_Essay7793: Everyone focused on the war ending, they forgot the economic is so shit
[+12] u/kalakatikimututu: "Iranโs president sets terms to end the war: Is an off-ramp in sight?"
This is a headline from 3 weeks ago BTW
[+12] u/LocalCableGuy8: Good news guys. I only lost most of my money today.
[+12] u/gainsusmaximus: Mission accomplished ceremony soon
[+12] u/silentaugust: Did April Fools come a day early in the markets?
[+12] u/DorianSoundscapes: This casino is just straight retarded at this point. Iโm going to stop and wait for it to make some fucking sense before I flush any more money down the toilet. Thereโs gambling an then thereโs just throwing money into a shredder. This market can suck my ass.
[+12] u/Lower-Quail3076: # Araghchi: All messages with Washington conveyed through foreign ministry
โThere is no truth to the claim of negotiations with any party in Iran. All messages are conveyed through the Foreign Ministry or received by it, and there are communications between security agenciesโ, Iranian foreign minister Abbas Araghchi tells Al Jazeera.
[+12] u/winkip: [https://aje.news/hnjlh9?update=4450449](https://aje.news/hnjlh9?update=4450449)
# Araghchi: We have not responded to the USโs 15 point proposal
โWe have not sent any response to the 15 American proposals, nor have we submitted any proposals or conditionsโ, Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi tells Al Jazeera.
[+12] u/Short-Dependent7676: Why doesnโt the USA just print oil? Are they stupid?
[+11] u/SaiyanApe17: This pretty much confirmed the invasion for me, the last relief rally before boots on ground
[+11] u/Ninefingerzs: Yeah no real news, nothing has changed, another fake pump
[+11] u/Outrageous_Tip_2133: Today is a great day to buy puts 3 weeks out.
[+11] u/GotKarprar: Honestly in general Iโm bullish but this pump seems like itโs not built on genuine information
[+11] u/sonspurs: April fools tomorrow. You are fucked
[+11] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: EBITDA (2026 edition): Earnings Before Iran, Tariffs, and Donald Announcements
[+11] u/GoldenAries4: I donโt see how this doesnโt end in a dump. If whatever we are pumping on gets confirmed, itโll probably be a sell the news event resulting in a dump. If it doesnโt get confirmed, itโll dump even worse.
You guys are bold for buying this one lol.
[+11] u/Stunning-Dig-8916: My puts are absolutely cooked
[+11] u/MrCoolGuy42: Bought 4/1 647c @ 2.14 yesterday
Sold them this morning at .85
Since then they peaked at 5.50
๐ซ
[+11] u/Noddite: They are literally shipping over A-10s the DOD is snapping up from local State Air Reserve bases. On top of thousands and thousands of additional soldiers.
Nothing the government is doing indicates a pullback, they are staging for a prolonged conflict and likely invasion, don't let Donnie tell you otherwise.
The Revolutionary Guard just threatened all the major tech companies in the Gulf as the next big targets.
There is no justification for the Nasdaq going up 3%.
I haven't touched anything today but expect to be buying puts later this week.
[+11] u/falken2023: Best case scenario here is this pump holds until the Asia session opens up. No one outside of this country is going to buy this bullshit.
[+11] u/sailortyx56: IRANIAN FOREIGN MINISTER TO AL JAZEERA: WE HAVE NOT SENT ANY RESPONSE TO THE 15 AMERICAN PROPOSALS, AND WE HAVE NOT PUT FORWARD ANY PROPOSALS OR CONDITIONS
[+11] u/freehouse_throwaway: cant wait to read again about how there was "unusual" trading activities just before the news/tweet broke heh
[+11] u/zeusbox: US actually gaslighting Iran to the negotiation.
[+10] u/Future_Hyena2562: Up 22%. Too bad my port is down 70k from Jan highs
[+10] u/fateoftheg0dz: The war is gonna end by don agreeing to a shitty deal but masquerading it as the best deal ever
[+10] u/42thefloor2011: Market went up on a misquoted headline from yesterday, LMFAO!!!! Reload shorts because we're going to see 600 on Monday
[+10] u/broke_person: Yesterday. Spy 599 it's over, recession looming
Today, we are so back Spy 700
[+10] u/SmilkyD: Maybe 634 0dte puts wasn't very cash money.
[+10] u/No_Relief_8705: You know the market is unhealthy when it moves like this with basically no news
[+10] u/RelentlessPutz: You wouldnt want me to be president. Id close the Strait like its never been closed before itd be fabulous the Iranians would be begging me to open it.
[+10] u/AgitatedJump8459: Araghchi: All messages with Washington conveyed through foreign ministry
โThere is no truth to the claim of negotiations with any party in Iran. All messages are conveyed through the Foreign Ministry or received by it, and there are communications between security agenciesโ, Iranian foreign minister Abbas Araghchi tells Al Jazeera.
[+10] u/BearContra: This news was out yesterday lmao..... Bols are going to rugged so badly I almost feel sorry for them.
[https://www.aa.com.tr/en/middle-east/iran-s-president-says-decision-to-end-war-must-guarantee-people-s-security-interests-/3885608#](https://www.aa.com.tr/en/middle-east/iran-s-president-says-decision-to-end-war-must-guarantee-people-s-security-interests-/3885608#)
[+10] u/imusuallydrunkatnine: Cannot wait to see the put losses today.
[+10] u/teh_herper: Those huge red volume spikes...
[+10] u/Jagged_Tide: Fucking comically stupid how you jokers will see stochastic data of billions of transactions point one direction or the other every now and again and immediately latch onto whatever obscure shred of โnewsโ you first find that confirms your pre-determined thesis.
[+10] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: Today "pack your bags everyone, war is over, nothing to see here".
Tomorrow "Marines land on multiple Strait of Hormuz islands".
[+10] u/AgitatedJump8459: Buy puts!! Tomorrow will be bloody
[+10] u/Karl151: Would be so funny if we round trip this back to under $640
[+10] u/Regardedcontrarianx: Too many bers here my puts will go worthlesz
[+10] u/Far_Addition1210: Algos don't understand fear and keep buying the dips, they are exit liquidity now.
[+9] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: Energy shock is still locked in even if the strait reopened todayโฆ
[+9] u/KYEEZY98: CNBC says Oil driven inflation = Rate Cuts
The COPE is real
[+9] u/OGWFORLIFE: $80 to $3000 on 6500c. Yeah Iโm getting back into trading (gambling)
Gotta take advantage of the wild swings
[+9] u/Scrogwiggle: Just feeling sick to my stomach. I ALWAYS make the wrong moves. This isnt for me yall. See ya tomorrow
[+9] u/whatislifebruh: So how much will the market crash when we get that first awful FPV drone footage once boots are on the ground?
[+9] u/codespyder: So the pump is based on... conjecture?
Yeah this is totally sustainable and not at all algos temporarily pulling back to the 9 day EMA before we get dicked again for the rest of the week.
[+9] u/DisgrunltedDan: Araghchi: We will not accept ceasefire, only end to war
The Iranian foreign minister says Iran will only accept cessation of hostilities in the entire region, rather than a pause.
So yea whatโs Israel and the neighbor's Iran gonna say/do?
[+9] u/Scarfaceb1tch: Yup there is the retard pump. Pack it in
[+9] u/drmantis_toboggan13: How many regards panic sold everything yesterday?
[+9] u/WayDry848: Russia is sending upgraded drones used in the Ukraine war to Iran, per NYP
@
US LIFTS SANCTIONS ON SOME RUSSIAN-FLAGGED CONTAINER SHIPS
https://preview.redd.it/uzv3r37ejesg1.png?width=289&format=png&auto=webp&s=707eee09411188e03319610b1192280c0635d9d1
[+9] u/music_crawler: Genuinely what is going on lol. It skyrocketed now is selling off.
[+9] u/mr_stupid_face: What horse shit news launched the market?
[+9] u/unhappyreach_: NOW THIS IS POD RACING
[+9] u/Maximum_Light409: BERS AR FUKKKKKKKKKK
[+9] u/NervousChemistry7401: They built Iran a toll booth in the Strait. Good work USA.
[+9] u/betaforever: Its a biblical war, you know they'll strike this weekend on Easter.
[+8] u/Bad_Driver69: oil up, equities up, lmao. 1 of these is the imposter
[+8] u/FartSniffer66642069: My puts are getting destroyed. Should I take a loss on them and switch to calls?
[+8] u/warm-regard: WAR OVER LMAOOOOOOOO
[+8] u/Initial_Ad_9250: POINT AND LAUGH AT BERS HAHHAHAH
>!I am still 60% down!<
Hhahahhahaha
[+8] u/ihopethisworksfornow: โWeโre not going to open the strait of Hormuz. People can get their own oil if they want it so muchโ
Market rallies 3%
[+8] u/hakan_loob44: Markets gonna give all of this move back.
[+8] u/AgitatedJump8459: Uhmโฆ believe it or not, calls on oil it is
[+8] u/Emergency_Ad_9324: Still a trap but took profits
[+8] u/firstandlast0202: someone called today a 2.5% day in the comments yesterday. This shit is a true casino
[+8] u/sandygws: Fake oil dump is being bought up - again. Time for PUTS my fellow degens.
[+8] u/WhoLickedMyDumpling: There was some random dude here on weekend thread saying today couldn't be a red day due to reasons he couldn't say. We got some JPM analysts on wsb?
[+7] u/TripleChocolate123: Seems like it...but then again, one thing I've learned is if it's "obvious", it's probably not the play.
[+7] u/LaserAid69: What if Iran president said this so they could pump the market and then tomorrow theyโre gonna escalate their attacks and also they got puts so that they can profit off of it
[+7] u/WarmCan3034: Losing 1k a day is not funโฆ
[+7] u/Advanced_Divide_4641: I want to tell my boss he is fake and gey
[+7] u/ev01ution: lol I was going to buy puts. Thank god
[+22] u/No-Sympathy-686: Fuck you bears
https://preview.redd.it/jmchb2uxdfsg1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=71ac7c88534a2847c2ab45c84682fb234ff4bdaf
[+19] u/Snoo23417: I got greedy and lost what I won earlier. One of these days I'll learn...
[+18] u/Mindless-Sabrina: 90% of Reddit had puts, look at every stock trading subreddit - all full of doom and bears. Half of Reddit went broke today
[+16] u/n1ck90z: 3 tankers of liquid hopium just passed through the strait of hormuz
[+16] u/Waste-Head7963: https://preview.redd.it/4uvf1pveifsg1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=729c93abd08c06f5a516406b1f35bddbc748133b
[+15] u/Illimited_Esoterica: Iranian foreign minister says that no negotiations are underway with the US currently.
IRGC confirms attacks on US tech and finance companies will begin Wednesday.
Bullish?
[+14] u/Double_Anybody: Not even 20 mins later the foreign minister is saying thereโs no ceasefire coming
[+14] u/im-regarded: I went full retard and the port is gone. Thatโs all she wrote. Best of lucks my fellow retards. See you in the next life
[+14] u/QuartersToPlay: Oil is still going up. But yeah sure SPY to 650 woooo! Or something idk. Anyways buy puts.
[+14] u/TollRoad2000: So the entire market moves on headlines and social media posts rather than economic fundamentals?
[+13] u/derprondo: Dude these previously attractive celebs are out there looking like the Crypt Keeper thanks to Ozempic.
[+13] u/No_Fig_7835: "Make your enemies think you are fucking retarded so they have no idea what you are going to do next" -Sun Tzu
[+13] u/6hchill: lmao if i held my put til today it will be from up +$51k profit to down -$73k today take profit when you can๐ซก
[+13] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: This pump is broken. This is bulls last chance to make money before recession 2.0 happens
[+12] u/funfactsarecool: For the bulls: this pump is real and just the beginning, you should definitely buy more.
For the bears: this pump is fake and you should load up on puts
Everyone gets some hopium.
[+12] u/delicious_oppai: Oil is not really going down. Still above 100. I don't think this pump holds ๐
[+12] u/Expert_Agency1097: Just bought puts at this new high
[+12] u/wattap: #bears were in here recruiting for the IRGC at the bottom, never forget
[+12] u/camel_crush_menthol_: So let me understand this. Multiple Asian countries are freaking the F out over fuel shortages, EU is about to reenact energy crisis measures, Iran might start bombing Microsoft, the Houthi's want to control the other strait, Hormuz is still closed, Helium supplies are going to run out in a month, and I'm supposed to believe that this market is back and the bear market is done?
[+11] u/Beneficial-Tax-1776: The wire ping that sent stocks soaring and oil falling was only a snippet of a larger conversation between the EU President and the President of Iran.
In that interview, Iran's Pezeshkian said that the US "does not believe in diplomacy" and Hormuz was closed to the aggressors.
[+11] u/SouthNice7324: Too many of you bought puts. Was always going to bounce
[+11] u/Kabrosif: The Nimitz-class aircraft carrier USS George H.W. Bush has just departed Norfolk Va. and is heading to the Middle East!
Wars back on!
[+11] u/AdLevel5827: There will be so many put buyers going into close that tomorrow is guaranteed at least another +1%
[+11] u/bigmeatbag: Donnie was kind enough to start a conflict in order to feed the US military industrial complex with the side effect of creating a beautiful buying opportunity in the market and dumb ungrateful ๐๐ป bought puts at the bottom lololol
[+11] u/spez_eats_nazi_ass: Lolz this is so fake and gay
[+11] u/Scribble_Box: I'm a bull, but I ain't fallin' for this shit.
[+11] u/pmurt007: I feel like there may be a problem when SPY can be manipulated and up 2.5% on no news lmao
[+11] u/Flat-Focus7966: Buying calls now feels like bears buying puts at 630....
Need to watch the movement next day or three
[+11] u/userusery24: If this is a dead cat bounce WSB will riot
[+11] u/dickwheelies: Hit a 30 bagger on spx calls ๐คค
[+10] u/Ok-Piano8789: its so crazy u can just make a few grand in 5 mins while eating lunch on vaca lol
[+10] u/daisymoth9: genuinely wtf is happening
[+10] u/Expert_Agency1097: Yall do realize one bad news and we tank even harder
[+10] u/COLU_BUS: Geopolitical equivalent of giving your younger brother a video game controller thatโs not plugged in
[+10] u/Pazzaaaaaa: So much good news, oil must have plummeted!
Oil down 0.75%
[+10] u/BalanceWide4735: dead cat bounce nothing burger, puts
[+10] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: Russia is sending more aid to Iran
[+10] u/virtual_billionaire: Pump before the dump
[+9] u/triwyn: generational put opportunity just presented itself regards. load up or get my fries. your choice.
[+9] u/Waiting4Reccession: I hope this pump gets dumped since its all hopium based. Really fucked my the call spreads i sold today
[+9] u/Joshuahuskers: So basically:
๐ฎ๐ทpresident says the war will end if ๐ฅญ ๐ฎ.
like that wasnโt on the table before?
Iโm confused.
Puts.
[+9] u/Lars194: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+9] u/Twelvesthegreat: Bulltards serving as exit liquidity today
[+9] u/Chubby_American: bears please just get out now, stop your loss aversion.
[+9] u/GuyFaulks77: โWhatโs the news?!โ is hilarious. Imagine thinking Main Street would hear whatever news in time to be on the right side of this pump lmao
[+8] u/rumblecatz: yep and got rug pulled on uso
[+8] u/SarcasticTrumpet: They'll keep it elevated after this long enough for the puts to be completely destroyed and then we drill again, and everyone will forget them doing this off of nothing for the 80th time in a row
[+8] u/Highway_Song: They could pull the funniest April fools joke tomorrow.
[+8] u/DragonFruit-_-777: ๐ฅญ really put ๐ฎ tuesdays into heart LOL
[+8] u/muffpatty: Why anybody thought this shit is over because ๐ฅญ said war over is beyond me. The damage will take weeks if not months to recover from.
[+7] u/StonkaTrucks: Of course the calls I sold at open for a 2 bagger are now a 7 bagger.
[+7] u/SpiritedVoice6248: Iran President says โready for peaceโ
โฆ.allegedly
[+6] u/DarthOniichan: Nice daily high. Watch it dump now.
[+6] u/NewlyOld31: I honestly think this is a set up for a "surprise" ground invasion
[+25] u/Steamcurl: Feel like I'll be screaming "BUT NOTHING HAS CHANGED!" while being dragged all the way to the crazy house tonight.
[+21] u/RMNYAN: THIRD U.S. AIRCRAFT CARRIER, USS GEORGE H.W. BUSH, DEPLOYS TO MIDDLE EAST - WSJ
[+21] u/rixxxand: This is my favorite part of bear market rally. Bulls and bears cant tell if this is real or not and the comment section is full of homoerotic tension.
Theta gang of course is in the cuck chair
[+19] u/Necessary-Lychee-486: I've never seen a more rigged day in my entire life. No exaggeration. Fuck this.
[+18] u/Necessary-Lychee-486: Fuck all of this. People should go to jail for this level of open corruption and manipulation.
[+18] u/One_more_username: The pump today is obviously because of the good news that Iran wants to bomb US tech companies in the Middle East right? Bullish for tech.
[+17] u/StonksInvesteur: Nah, just a manipulation to short squeeze. War is not end
[+15] u/iBeFlying676: Trump: This war is almost over. Pentagon: We have now deployed a 3rd aircraft carrier to Middle East. LMAO. This rug pull is gonna be HARD AS F. The Nimitz-class aircraft carrier USS George H.W. Bush and its accompanying warships are deploying to the Middle East. They were deployed today. (Fixed my typo)
[+15] u/Street-Badger: Oil is still $127/barrel. ย Thank you for your attention to this matter
[+15] u/PeeOnDusk: Breaking news: 3rd us aircraft, the USS George Hw bush warship, is headed to Iran. Bullish ๐๐
[+14] u/495N: Military escalationโฆ
> THE US IS DEPLOYING A THIRD AIRCRAFT CARRIER, USS GEORGE H.W. BUSH, TO THE MIDDLE EAST ALONGSIDE THE USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN AND USS GERALD R. FORD CARRIER STRIKE GROUPS. || OFFICIALS INDICATE THE US COULD MAINTAIN THREE CARRIERS IN THE REGION FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE, SIGNALING A SIGNIFICANT MILITARY BUILDUP AMID ESCALATING TENSIONS. - WSJ
[+14] u/Thisispaartaaa: USS George HW Bush heading to Middle East - WSJ (this will be the 3rd Aircraft carrier in the region)
Things must be going swimmingly, definitely winding operations down.
[+13] u/GrillAndChill420: Here is where you load puts
[+13] u/SteveStacks: Bers your sacrifices made this possible
[+13] u/CasherburyTales: I did a little research into this โMiddle Eastโ area. Turns out itโs a very complicated area of the world.
[+13] u/Affectionate-End2461: 3rd US carrier is heading to Middle East? I wonder why. Pump pump! lol
[+13] u/BelgianBillie: I mean something is going on
[+13] u/DufflebagJoe: Bers frantically spamming war headlines ๐คฃ
[+12] u/iBeFlying676: Trump: This war is almost over. Pentagon: We have now deployed a 3rd aircraft carrier to Middle East. LMAO. This rug pull is gonna be HARD AS F.
[+12] u/Substantial_Monk8440: I refuse to believe this blatant manipulation. My puts are not fucking leaving
[+12] u/Jahweii: Just bought 575 puts for tomorrow
[+11] u/Equivalent-Quail138: I cannot beat the algos, so I must join them. Claude, here is the login for my brokerage account and my company sponsored 401(k). Return 2% daily or 1,377% annualized. Make no mistakes.
[+11] u/necarpenter417: Kinda waiting for a huge red candle to hear everyone scream "guh" out my window
[+11] u/hoopaholik91: "A 3% up day? Wow oil must have really tanked!"
*Looks at oil prices*
[+11] u/FrostingOk2692: Congratulations to our SPY 650 banbet winners.
[+10] u/ChampionshipOdd947: US State Department just issued a shelter-in-place order at the US embassy in Saudi Arabia after new threats. And a 3rd US warship has just headed out to the middle east. Yeah, Iran and the US are DEFINITELY close to a peace agreement.
[+10] u/GuiltyShirt3771: This pump look suspicious, I will wait until Friday
[+10] u/davidbigham: Google up 5% after I sold my call. ๐คก๐คก
[+10] u/glisteningoxygen: Pumping 180pts on nothing is highly regarded
[+10] u/jcrankin22: 3% rally is wild. Based on what?
[+10] u/thewaterb0yyyy: A rally fueled on hopes, dreams and concepts of plans
[+10] u/CasherburyTales: Iran threatening to attack American company data centers. They best not mess with my XBOX live rankings from 2015.
[+9] u/stretchlegs: Yโall this because of JP Morganโs put spread collar not news about Iran.
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/a-trap-door-could-open-up-under-the-s-p-500-when-this-influential-options-trade-expires-next-week-2f3ea4d5?gaa_at=eafs&gaa_n=AWEtsqd5F-W76p0mXqPboMYnKnCsGTwc_3JvqUFUmon5z-BdpMmjQmOGIXutWGnpYGE%3D&gaa_ts=69cbfdca&gaa_sig=c2B0zfbfog1m-wYS30ZawUcnzu4M0DimyRu-TUWG-KiOBudRqIzO1v4uGFnSXZxFTAPc4j01BlQElWdjZ1zanw%3D%3D
[+9] u/dsotj: Guys guys guys, i finally get why this is happening. Its fricking april fools tomorrow so thereโs gonna be a full on rug pull. Its almost too obvious
[+9] u/TheOldRamDangle: Truly some of the most manipulated regarded suit Iโve ever seen
[+8] u/sftheory: risked it all to make $11. AMA
[+8] u/According_To_Me_: This is giving GameStop โhodlโ vibes. Almost seems desperate
[+8] u/Red_Zone_Broly: Why is the market trusting this middle east news?
What makes it any more likely to be true than everything else we've heard the last 2 weeks???
[Especially since oil is still above $100]
[+8] u/bigstew6: What if Iran targets WSB next?
[+8] u/kanyedidnothingwr0ng: Buying puts yesterday and this morning ruined me. I lost $500 and I will never financially recover from this
[+8] u/yukoncowbear47: Brent crude trading finally looks like they gave up on hanging onto every fake report that comes out about Trump trying to end the war. US still buying it until it shoots them in the face
[+8] u/voidedhip: Ackman said yesterday was a good time to buy stocks again, and then they pump it today and bulls STILL dont think they're exit liquidity? LMAO
[+8] u/Jadenindubai: Fuk you and see you tomorrow
[+7] u/HFB_To_You: The thickos who missed the end-of-quarter rally dynamics and lost their shorts will in near due time be joined by the thickos now mistaking this as resumption of a bull-trend move.
Circle of life.
[+7] u/FrozenToiletWaterr: Holy crap what is happening
[+6] u/spreadbetfred: Ber being talked off the bridge lmaoooo
[+20] u/bigboybigbat: The hindsight cockiness of this sub in both directions is always so entertaining
[+12] u/darkspherei: lol, fake ass headlines about negotiations, this market is such a scam
[+11] u/AgeMiddle854: Boots on the ground would drop SPY like half a percent but magic beans sent this shit to the moon. All this to say, I'm a fucking moron.
[+11] u/coldtacomeat: I will not FOMO into calls I will not FOMO into calls.
[+11] u/Mcluckin123: Am I wrong in thinking nothing seems to have materially changed in the war ? The politician who has apologised multiple times has claimed they want to end the war
[+11] u/Happy-Champion1661: MU LMAOOOOO, all the regards that bought after earnings got a reality check.
perfect opportunity to start a long next month
[+11] u/zodnodesty: How can it pump so hard while oil is still so high
[+10] u/Several_Bread_9144: Today was a masterclass in market manipulation
[+10] u/diamondeye24: Is this market manipulation? Iโm thinking about cashing out
[+10] u/ebfeebfe: Iran names SPY new Ayatollah
[+10] u/br0botic: Up 50k today lets gooooo
โฆ now Iโm only down 150k
[+9] u/Europeanroadbycar: Is it smelling an invasion tonight?
[+9] u/National-Log5203: How can this sub be so wrong so consistently?
[+9] u/ImAnonymous135: 3.1% on hopes and dreams is crazy
[+9] u/bc531198: I don't understand anything anymore. Hopefully the AI that replaces me does
[+9] u/Joij21: God damn this market is so FUCKING RETARDED! All right after I full ported to energy too.
Like there's nothing literally NOTHING that indicates this war is ending. So manipulated, I just can't touch this shit anymore. I really can't. And now all the shit I dumped yesterday is pumping, go figure o algo.
[+9] u/GingaGotJokes: 2.3% is a heck of a deadcat bounce
[+9] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: THE TWEET OF ALL TWEETS IS COMING
[+9] u/Nice-Truck8806: FUNNY HOW THE AVERAGE REDDITOR GOES FROM "UMMMM SWEATY ITS ACKSYHUALLY ONLY POLITICS MOVING THE MARKET" TO "ITS JUST A QUARTERLY REBALANCE". THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
[+8] u/SecurityFar1910: This market reminds me of old Covid times just as stupid except the fed has yet to interfere
[+8] u/Ahzmer: Last week trump lied and made my oil calls go -80% in a day. It corrected and i closed for nice profit.
Today, same shit. -80%. I think i will close with profit this time too. Or wendys.
[+8] u/Ok-Bumblebee1526: "Let's scalp an ITM SPX put real quick before lunch. What could go wrong" fuck my life
[+8] u/Issa_vibe74: Let my nuts hang and buy Thursday 650 Puts
[+8] u/skykitty89: War: What is it good for?
Stonks.
๐๐๐
[+8] u/BlitzComet95: Canโt make this up. I bought a put at 642 and it went up $7 instantly
[+7] u/DinkinFlickka: We keep sending more men and materiel to the region but the market gets so high on copium from every rumor on twitter
[+7] u/God_RL: Went from a US & Iran war to an all out war between Bears & Bulls today.
[+6] u/charsons: Yeah Iran war 2.0 is cool and all but just wait till you see Iran war 3.0