▶ Full Post Text
[+112] u/WayDry848: IRANIAN FOREIGN MINISTRY: WE HAVE NOT CONDUCTED ANY NEGOTIATIONS WITH THE UNITED STATES DURING THE 31 DAYS OF THE WAR
wdym?????
[+95] u/would-rather-read: guys he might be a moron
[+87] u/topcheddarsauce: I cannot believe people voted for this regard
[+73] u/Soffatjockis: Lol mango said he's going to make the Arabic countries pay for the war.
Absolute clown show.
[+73] u/Seymour_asis501: Used 13k to make $120 today I’m going to bk to celebrate
[+72] u/Academic_Lock_1699: Tariff all your allies, start shit, cry about allies not helping when shit stinks, cry more. Thanks for your attention to that matter
[+71] u/Microwave-Dave: Tehranstreetbets advised all the regards here about the play. Stay tuned in 30 minutes for the next tweet from Iran
[+63] u/cbusoh66: I am a time-traveler, just wanted to share something that should help your ports tomorrow...
🥭: "We may or may not have a deal. All their leaders are dead, so we really don't know who we're talking to but it sounds like we may have a deal, who knows..."
Bloomberg: Trump says peace deal reached
SPY +5%
[+62] u/Manufactured_feces: He will announce the actual end of the war one day and the market won’t believe him lol
[+61] u/AggieDem: Cashgang, so I will continue to Monitor The Situation^TM
[+56] u/pleasestoptalkin: If you make like $20k in options it really isn’t going to change your life, but try losing $20k and see how much that fucks up your life.
[+52] u/igotshrimps: 1026 days until we can trade on fundamentals again
[+48] u/Muted-South4737: The bullshit price action heading into close notwithstanding, I've never been more bearish in my life. I'm a permabull, but this guy has fucked up so royally, I'm standing with my new hairy brothers and sisters.
It didn't have to be this way.
[+44] u/WrexyWrex: "Dow rises 400 points after Trump says U.S. in 'serious' talks to end operation in Iran"
this was a real headline today on CNBC
they want you broke and dependent
[+44] u/bringkiteback: Only 3 more years of this shit 🤤
[+43] u/Such_Coin: I can tell many of you weren't trading tulips in 1637.
[+43] u/Full_Boysenberry_198: 1 out of 3 of you idiots still thinks that fool is doing a good job
[+39] u/Educational-Cat-2553: gotta love how Israel went all: Iran is your problem now, I got shit to do in Lebanon byeee
[+38] u/Key-Employ-2049: Can yall upvote me so I can post my loss
[+37] u/Due-Dirt-8428: What happened to the daily briefings from the military head retards? They realize this is all fucked and they can’t lie anymore so they just send out the bumbling fat retard to threaten Iran every 8 hours? Such an unserious group of individuals.
[+37] u/Navelabob: So the Iranian official who said sell the pump was right
[+35] u/ShittyUsernane1222: reminder: Oil has a supply shortage, inelastic but high demand and is being shorted.
Oil to the fucking moon.
[+35] u/Oneok-Field: Some of y'all never took part in a holy war and it shows.
[+34] u/PureAlpha22: Entirely preventable bear market
[+33] u/WhiteCollllarCrime69: 7 months of gains wiped tf out
Let’s make it nine 🥭🫃
[+32] u/Idlehour_Knives: The us bombed another school in Iran today and killed a bunch of girls playing volleyball.
This war is hurting my portfolio but really wish these assholes would stop killing children for no reason.
[+31] u/Subject_Delay5447: Waiting for more financial wisdom from Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf. Can’t argue with today’s performance.
[+31] u/Academic_Lock_1699: Now that was a proper bull trap today
[+29] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Americans literally saw this and said yep, this is what j want for the next 4 years 🤦♂️
[+29] u/No_Current3675: At least the 🥭 fucktard is displacing stock prices so much that there are now reasonable opportunities to profit.
[+28] u/Zealousideal_Lock789: The smartest move I made this year was to completely wipe all my debt. The world elites are going to try to ruin us all. FUCK EM 🖕🖕🖕
[+25] u/Historical_Bother274: Americans should be fucking embarrassed
[+25] u/Discount_LionSafari: Iran does not negotiate with terrorists
[+24] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: Honestly if WW3 were declared tomorrow, the market would rally on the removal of uncertainty.
[+24] u/tobrie02: I’m starting to think this orange guy is a fucking idiot
[+23] u/MadHat0815: So as it turns out the Iranian quant was right!
[+23] u/hiphopanonomos: It went GREEN 🟩 at open almost 1% and YOU 🫵 DIDN'T BUY PUTS?? 🤡🐻
[+23] u/RussianRAF: Trumps a bitch that keeps fucking my port
[+23] u/vee1rot8: Do the futes matter anymore? Nope
Will I continuously refresh them starting at 6:00:01 like a regard? Yup
[+22] u/Dividedby21mil: Let’s invade another country and see if it helps
[+22] u/Level_Ad8089: It can go even lower
[+22] u/matterhorny69: TACO became NACHO, not actually changing hormuz outcome. Amirite guys amirite?
[+22] u/Liquidsnake959: Lost 25% of my portfolio in 7 days.
[+21] u/wattap: Pete hegseth for prison
[+21] u/TheoryInttro: Oil shorts failed. Can't wait to see Bessents loss porn.
[+21] u/baller1able: 🥭 tacos used to fuel the market, but now it just gives it diarrhea 😭
[+21] u/Suspicious-Sir574: Can’t believe we are closer to SPY 600 than 700
[+21] u/drpa1n: My mom promised she only took Tylenol when the hangovers were really bad so it must be something else
[+21] u/ddrsdght: Kharg Island was promised 3000 years ago
[+21] u/AggieDem: The problem with boots on the ground is if we actually do take Kharg Island, Iran will bomb it to prevent anyone else from deriving any benefit from it, which will dramatically cut Iranian oil production over the long-term.
Additionally, Iran will continue to threaten shipping and launching drones/missiles until we take the entire country, which will be extremely difficult to do in a short time span given the size and preparedness of their military.
[+21] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: Getting assigned MU shares at 368 was NOT a discount
[+21] u/BarbellPadawan: Unintelligent man with below average penis seeks above average trade.
[+20] u/NotMe357: "BREAKING: Israeli PM Netanyahu says he doesn’t want to “put a schedule on” the timeline for ending the operation in Iran."
Translate: As long there is one Americans soldier left, I wouldn't stop this war.
[+20] u/Fernyfern7: Bulls are like the meme of the guy in third place celebrating with champagne
[+20] u/WrexyWrex: you guys think it can't get any worse, i don't think it can get any better
we are not the same
[+20] u/the_mind_goblin1: "sir a tanker was hit near Kuwait"
"dump the shit out of microsoft after hours. Market sell it. It's fucking over"
[+20] u/ShittyUsernane1222: reminder: US debt pile is growing and is currently administered by an President with six bankruptcies
US Bond yields to the fucking moon
[+20] u/tikimandude: "We've knocked out their ballistic missile capability!!!"
American bases getting hit with ballistic missiles...
[+20] u/Whoopziedaisy: Sir, another peace negotiation has just hit the Nasdaq.
[+20] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: “Why is this popular stock falling in 2026?”
*click*
“There are more sellers than buyers”
“Upgrade to the Motley Fool premium for more analysis”
[+20] u/Weak_Emu3659: I love the poorly educated.
[+19] u/bringkiteback: Iran should just tweet out now’s a good time for puts and bomb some major shit they’d do more for American people than 🥭 ever has
[+19] u/Valkorion335786: In March 2020 I sneezed 3 times in a row and then coughed and I was like 👁️🕳️👁️
[+19] u/Manufactured_feces: Write all your moves and reasoning in a journal so you can look back and realize how fucking stupid you are
[+19] u/ajibtunes: Just deleted her number 💔😞
[+19] u/WhiteCollllarCrime69: Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Me: Did you forget already?
#LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[+19] u/Commercial-District1: Trumps tweet influence went from pretty high to zero
[+18] u/ebitdasga: Why were we up 1% premarket
[+18] u/UrBoySergio: I see bol post, I upvote.
I see a ber post, I upvote.
Gotta keep these algos confused af.
[+18] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: A tanker was just hit and on fire, and oil is going down???
[+18] u/goonerdawggg: 7 years no accidents in my civic.
Bought a '23 BMW in February. Used with only 20k miles, pretty much new...
2 accidents within 35 days. 🙂
[+18] u/ConsiderationKey1658: I legit don’t think talks are even happening.
[+18] u/abroadbroadband: # FUCK WORK.
Alright back to work.
[+18] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: I wanna see crude at $200. Wtf is taking so damn long?
I already lost all my money
[+17] u/NaturalFortune8397: WHOS READY FOR THE POST MARKET FAKE PEACE DEAL #4
[+17] u/Tay_Tay86: No hotline no bottom
[+17] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: #Guy on reddit whos been in the market for 3 years: “This is NOTHING like the past !!”
[+17] u/Affectionate-Safe295: I’m suing micron for emotional damages
[+17] u/Poor_Life-choices: I DECLARE TRIAL BY COMBAT
[+17] u/dorkstar1: Why did we choose this joker in the first place ?
[+17] u/TheGodDavidLoPan: My support for the war was wavering and then the algorithm started feeding me big titted Israeli women and now I want us to take Kharg island ⚔️
[+17] u/WhiteCollllarCrime69: About to bully my prostate
[+17] u/ddrsdght: Listening to Fox News with my brain off keeps me bullish
[+17] u/kwarknagel: Can we go back to harassing this admin for diddling kids? It was a simpler time
[+17] u/lemongreentea42: The iranian dude was right. Pre-market was a sell
[+17] u/Independent-Tree-985: A single Green Fute can sustain the psyche of a bull for up to 14 hours 💡
[+17] u/Icommandyou: Every 🥭 interview be like war is over, we won. No follow up questions from any reporter whatsoever
[+17] u/ConstantAd1: CNN says Trump administration is not sure if they are talking to the right people in Iran
lmao
[+17] u/According-Page8618: everytime spy enters correction -10% from ath, it bounces back to the EMA 200 daily line +5% from here (did it on tarrifs, covid, 2022 and 2018 bearmarkets) before going down more. not a single time has it not bounced back up first. even in 2008 it went -10% bounced back, then again -10% and bounced back. the third time it entered below ema 200 was the downfall
we will probably see a random ralley this week that the algobots are waiting for, and if by then the iran war is still going on, we are going to 600
[+17] u/watisdat: 🥭 nuked my port holy shit.
[+17] u/SergeantThreat: It’s not that I believe the Iranians, it’s just that they happen to be saying the opposite of what 🥭 says. If they started saying the same things as him, I wouldn’t believe them either.
[+17] u/ihopethisworksfornow: This Clavicular guy is straight up not even good looking
Average white dude
[+17] u/wasifaiboply: This train don't stop until the $VIX hits an ATH. And an historic one.
Mark it. 🌈🐻⏰️
[+17] u/Tay_Tay86: #IF IRAN DOESN'T SURRENDER WE WILL DESTROY THE MCDANKS ICE CREAM MACHINE 🥭
[+17] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: many of you were not trading in 1929 and it shows
[+17] u/Commercial-District1: Y’all need some new jokes in here. Everyone just recycling the same shit. Entertain me
[+17] u/ddrsdght: At least I’m not the guy that’s about to parachute into a bunch of gunfire and drones
[+17] u/Hwangoutpltr: Imagine AOC bikini try on haul
[+17] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: X is such a dumb name for a company. Go back to Twitter bro.
[+17] u/LuisLA_007: The only way to fix this is if a hot latina becomes the next prez
[+16] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: The chaos will continue. This admin believes they will be benefit asymmetrically if shit hits the fan. And it’s true, the scale at which they grift is much easier to cover up if things worsen for the rest of us. That’s all you need to know.
[+16] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Guys. Don’t be like me. Crippling gambling addiction, living in Rio de Janeiro, big booty Latinas everywhere. It is just terrible.
[+16] u/iYoloNDX0DTEs: Did MU say the N word?
[+16] u/Icommandyou: Lmao the war ended 12 times in last week
[+16] u/Stonkrates: The definition of insanity is buying the dip in a bear market
[+16] u/oldprecision: Bill Ackman saying time to buy means we are far from the bottom.
[+16] u/Manufactured_feces: We haven’t even seen the boomers start liquidating their stocks.Yesterday, my 70 year old father was telling me he was thinking of selling his stock and holding cash.
[+16] u/Emergency-Ticket5859: Breaking news: Scott Bessent to be replaced by Jim Cramer
[+16] u/Pandemiclnvestor: # My portfolio has been having a bear market every single day. Down 20%+ everyday. Not letting up.
[+16] u/Weak_Ostrich459: I present to you: TOFU (🥭 often fucks up)
[+16] u/Character_Pirate_152: What can they even do? Will they occupy land along the strait? Then they are getting attacked constantly by a million man guerilla army. Will they march all the way to Tehran and topple the regime?? They don't have the forces for anything like that. This is so bizarre.
[+16] u/RedditHatesDiversity: Scam pump at open please
[+16] u/dsotj: What in the fuck possessed me to get into this shit
[+16] u/Flat-Focus7966: Who else is exhausted.
At this point I am also above the whole bull-bears back & forth....
[+16] u/Super_Jan_Vertonghen: Iran is full of religious fundamentalists but so is the US and Israel. Fuck all of those pricks.
[+16] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: UNITED STATES OF ISRAEL
[+16] u/GreedyCommie: "JUST IN - Netanyahu says Iran war goals achieved 'beyond halfway point' " - Israel is out of ammo.
[+16] u/_Netgirth: lol oil up 60% on the month. Least it’s not interconnected with much
[+15] u/No_Current3675: They really need to depose that fucking retard.
[+15] u/No-Dust-1722: Hey guys I’ve been on a meth bender since Feb 11 is the DOW at 60k yet
[+15] u/RockinOutCockOut: Made wayyyyyy too much money today
I should be happy
But there's this annoying little cicada in my head that is saying BUT WHAT IF WE DOUBLE IT TOMORROW
😭😭😭 I'm going to lose it all
[+15] u/thenamelessone7: People very quickly forgot we had a 15% drawdown just a year ago...
[+15] u/Moepenmoes: "What Are Your Moves Tomorrow" - I need to get off this sub and touch grass, that's the move I need
[+15] u/Ok-Analysis4121: Dude really said we'd be exit liquidity this morning and people still bought lol
[+15] u/Internal_Field5970: I’m not gonna lie. I don’t give a fuck about oil. Never have I gone to Trader Joe’s and purchased a barrel of oil.
[+15] u/Wall_St_Bussy: Like who even needs oil? I change my oil every 10-25k miles what’s the big fucking deal? Do you retards not know your car runs on GAS? lmfao
[+15] u/Internal_Field5970: I should just get into politics and religion
Way more money in that
[+15] u/BearContra: Gas pricing are shooting up in front of our eyes and you regards are still buying calls lmao. This thing will take months to fix. Any pump is just another opportunity to go short.
[+15] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #peace talks going well for the 100th time
[+15] u/Unh0lyCatf1sh: oil calls are the ultimate hedge, if it goes down then it costs you less to fill up your tank so you end up saving the money you lost, you simply cant lose
[+15] u/financiallythriving: Boomers have been unloading their overpriced stocks and homes to the younger generation
[+15] u/Beneficial-Sign-569: pray for the AMC guy who bought 10k calls @ 0.01
[+15] u/Any_Life_6178: https://preview.redd.it/jojrf8gul9sg1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=39d90e74a68b28ddf11f75749ba21e58d1d6b156
Hey you bolllllls
[+15] u/AnalBeadsInSpace: Don't worry, once this market turns 14 yrs old, fruity vag neck will stop trying to fuck it.
[+15] u/PulIthEld: you're gonna see a U.S. soldier get blown up by a drone.
[+14] u/MitchellMcconnel: Me with my cash just waiting for the real drop👀
[+14] u/wright_on_: Hello, supply chain expert here! This is not cute or funny, supply chains only do this when extremely stressed!
[+14] u/clouts1: Seriously how does 🌮man trick the market every single Monday morning with a fake tweet?
[+14] u/No_Current3675: # FKN LOL I BELIEVE THE IRANIANS OVER THE GODDAMNED 🥭 RETARD. IT HAS COME TO THIS.
[+14] u/_Netgirth: It ain’t easy to make Bush look like a strategic genius
[+14] u/PositiveToe2761: Did my taxes, it’s gross the amount of money I traded for the actual profit I walked away with
[+14] u/dontbanthisaccount: whose thinking boots on the ground this weekend?
[+14] u/BenisSpaghetti: #When I was a kid, I looked forward to the future.
#Now I'm an adult, and I look forward to the futures. LMAO. 🫰
[+14] u/Gom_KBull: # Why are you all talking about escalation happening?
# Bols told me war's over.
[+14] u/DeezSpicyNuts: 👈 You’re 🌈
👉 You’re 🌈
🫵 You’re 🌈
🖕😐🖕
[+14] u/cryptopolymath: Things are going so bad they might actually release the Epstein files as a distraction.
[+14] u/trukfump: Markets going down faster than 🥭 at an elementary school
[+14] u/ridina05: I made 70 bucks today 🤓
[+14] u/BjergBetterThanFaker: bro mango is going full retard and he's taking the rest of us with him
[+14] u/WendyDumpsterFire: We had a good thing, you stupid son of a bitch! We had JPOW. We had a Federal Reserve. We had everything we needed, and it all ran like clockwork. You could've shut your mouth, cooked and made as much money as you ever needed. It was perfect. But, no, you just had to blow it up. You and your pride and your ego! You just had to be the man. If you'd done your job, known your place, we'd all be fine right now.
[+14] u/MeeseShoop: Another day, another $2k gone from my 401k
[+14] u/kwarknagel: That was a great excursion mr 🥭, but what about the pedophiles?
[+13] u/d33p7r0ubl3: I'm not buying calls until the Iranian Speaker of Parliament says it's a great time to buy
[+13] u/KingRegardothe2nd: Imagine starting a war with no plan then asking the countries nearby that are suffering because of it to pay for it lol. I guess the bored of peace membership is about to increase by a few billion.
[+13] u/skyline917: Up 0.16 percent today.
Later losers
[+13] u/Casper-_-00B: Do you all sometimes look at your reddit achievement badges and think to yourself. Dam I spend to much time on here.
[+13] u/ballsonreddit: If I touch myself maybe I’ll forget about SPY touching me
[+13] u/WhiteCollllarCrime69: I never made money trading options and I ain’t afraid to admit it.
[+13] u/Madsen13140: I am from the future. It is NOT ending soon.
[+13] u/TropicalOinkment: SPY needs regime change
[+13] u/thrillho145: Bring back Biden's market
[+13] u/negan90: Bulls fell for it again 😂
[+13] u/DarthCookieMMA: I miss the pepe emojis
[+13] u/bearhunter429: #Bol can't keep SPY above $600 for much longer. This shit wants to drop to $500 or below so badly LMAO🤌
[+13] u/cbusoh66: Reporter: Sir, will you be sending ground troops
🥭: We may, we may not, who knows...
Bloomberg: Trump says no ground troops needed. After hours markets rally in response.
[+13] u/Sad-Airman: That GetZukked mod who clowns bears in every comment doesn't come around much when the market is down every day
[+13] u/Fhyzikz: This 🥭 dude makes GWB look like a super genius
[+13] u/yeahyoubored: Reporting from the future
It’s bad
[+13] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: 🥭 negotiating with Nigerian prince from email
[+13] u/A55BAG: Ukrainians have been hitting Russian oil terminals in the gulf or Finland for 8 days in a row now (about 40% of their total capacity) [https://www.reuters.com/business/energy/least-40-russias-oil-export-capacity-halted-reuters-calculations-show-2026-03-25/](https://www.reuters.com/business/energy/least-40-russias-oil-export-capacity-halted-reuters-calculations-show-2026-03-25/)
30-40% of the gulf oil and gas infra is already damaged [https://www.france24.com/en/france-confirms-oil-crisis-says-30-40-gulf-energy-infrastructure-destroyed](https://www.france24.com/en/france-confirms-oil-crisis-says-30-40-gulf-energy-infrastructure-destroyed)
The bols are living in the lalala land 🫠🌈🐂
[+13] u/Fantastic_Pirate3948: We have won the war 12 times in 3 days. Follow me for more math tips
[+13] u/CATLLM: Crude at $106 right now - shorts are getting liquidated
[+13] u/BarbellPadawan: Not gonna lie. This looks really bad.
[+13] u/ToroLoco_TL: JUST IN: Jim Cramer says oil prices have topped.
[](https://x.com/WatcherGuru/status/2038759096568987741/photo/1)
FAAAAAAAAH
[+13] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: I'm tired of Operation Epic Fuckery. It's drawing out too much.
[+13] u/BadBoyBilbo: I’d like to remind you all that these are the oil futures prices *after* Japan shorted them.
[+13] u/Gom_KBull: # Please be nice to bols
^(Nobody wants germs on their fries now)
[+13] u/peterpeer9: The solution to school shootings is simply to ban schools
[+13] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: I have never been this excited about oil in my life
[+13] u/grantern2: Bill Ackman saying to buy makes me want to sell everything and rebuy when stocks are way lower. This dude does not care about the poors, only himself and his rich friends. He is not trying to do us any favors
[+13] u/Odd_Papaya8305: Holy fuck why did i buy calls
[+12] u/Wows_Nightly_News: Maybe just a little crying in the Casino
[+12] u/kemar7856: Fuck this mkt and all of you
[+12] u/The_BakedCrusader: Bill Ackman says that now is a great time to become a bagholder
[+12] u/wendysdumpstr: way too bullish in here, circuit breaker tomorrow 🎚️
[+12] u/Hwangoutpltr: Lead paint is stored in the frontal lobe
[+12] u/Turbulent_Bid_374: I’m sitting on $2.5M cash. All profit from the last several years. Always take some profits from time to time and pay the taxes.
[+12] u/bringkiteback: I just wiped my ass so aggressively it was like the Japanese flag time to buy calls on Nintendo it’s a sign
[+12] u/BearContra: Lots of bols calling for the bottom today. Means the market is ripe to rug pull them to 610-615 by open tomorrow lmao.
[+12] u/McKoijion: Every CNBC talking head: The US is going to win this war very soon! Buy more stocks!
5 seconds of due diligence into their background:
https://www.reddit.com/r/JewsOfConscience/comments/1fmc75o/anyone_remember_the_big_short_steven_eisman_was/
[+12] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Soon it'll be cheaper being unemployed than pay for gas to go to work
[+12] u/Character_Pirate_152: Iranians have a concept known as temporary marriage. For a fee you can marry a woman for a preset amount of time whether a day, a weekend, or a year, or whatever. When the time runs out, they leave. I find this to be a very innovative and superior marriage system.
[+12] u/Independent-Tree-985: WELCOME TO COSTCO I LOVE YOU
[+12] u/imtypingoninternet: Losing to goat cuddlers lmao
[+12] u/Electronic_Band_949: Mexican president just told we need to eat rice and beans instead of meat
[+12] u/Antiwhippy: Can you yanks just get this over with? You're kinda fucking up the vibe of the whole room.
[+12] u/SmoothOperator423: Got to watch gas jump from $3.89 to $4.19 as I left work. Sick gains
[+12] u/financiallythriving: We will all laugh about this next year when SPY is at 750
[+12] u/RogerBalderer: Oil absolutely ripping
[+12] u/Pazzaaaaaa: WTI CRUDE OIL 150$ IS NOT A MEME
[+12] u/9tacos: Great progress! Might just annihilate society 🤡
[+12] u/Maximum_Light409: My wallet has unconditionally surrendered.
[+12] u/Sweeetmoves: Rope and a folding chair
[+12] u/Commercial_Seat_3704: 🥭 is driving this clown car straight off a cliff
[+12] u/Top_Cranberry_3254: I've been accurate in the Iran events for the last 4 weeks. I can post all my comments. All have been true. What frustrates me is how long it took for the market to finally price much of it in.
But here we are. So the next event will rock the market within the next 24-48 hours because of uncertainty and more direct effects on oil and energy prices.
SPY will be 600 by Thurs-Fri at the latest. (I called SPY 645 on the Monday of the week it reached it for that week).
SPY will be at 585 minimum by April 14th. That MIGHT be the bottom, but doubtful.
Edit: All this UNLESS Taco pulls out and calls a truce somehow. That has always been the stipulation. If he doesn't, then...
[+12] u/BarbellPadawan: I just shit post on here. (Then fap to the upvotes)
[+11] u/G0RD0N_CLARK: You know ... Jesus has the chance to do the funniest thing on Sunday. 🫣
[+11] u/michaelis999: im convinced buls are completely broke now so they've resorted to retarded trolling
[+11] u/FrostingOk2692: The subreddits of specific stocks have had their ranks swelled today by all new devoted community members
[+11] u/Pete26l96: I spent 12 hours on saturday and sunday researching Kratos Defense. Plan was to sell all my shares of AMZN ($100K life savings) and full port into Kratos at market open.
Somehow I didn't wake up on time for the first time in my life, missing work and the market open.
When I opened my app and saw Kratos down 8% while AMZN up 1% I couldn't help but feel that this was God watching over me lol
[+11] u/Internal_Field5970: There are like 300 million Americans and 1.4 Trillion Indians.
If we all met on a battlefield, each American would have to fend off 4667 Indians.
We win that 9 times outta 10.
[+11] u/looool_k_libtard: LOAD THE FUCK UP ON OIL BARRELS AND BURY THEM IN YOUR BACKYARD. VALHALLA IS COMING BROTHERS.
[+11] u/jfwelll: Tomorrow my move is to put the fries in the bag
[+11] u/IslandExact429: Bill Ackman is genuinely the worst hedge fund manager of all time
Give 50 white guys a couple of Zegna suits and $5B of credit with MS and you get twitter fingers
[+11] u/FartPolluter: someone who speak iran language ask the Iranian Pelosi guy wen pump pls
[+11] u/sm04d: Don't forget to say thank you
[+11] u/BlackKnightsOptions: I tried to buy the dip but it was a seven layer dip
[+11] u/J_da_CPA: Can’t wait to vote this mf out
It’s going to be a celebration
[+11] u/zestykite: oil still rippin. reget selling out of my calls.
[+11] u/userusery24: Here’s the shit sandwhich I’ve put together for now:
$50k in MSFT 01/2028 500C (-25%)
$60K in NBIS @ 93 avg
Rest in SPX 🤷
[+11] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: LOOK WHAT YOU DID PAM
[+11] u/Old-Pomegranate3634: I can't handle all this winning pls.
Fuck me
[+11] u/edapalooza: "Iran rebuts Trump’s claim of negotiations, again", I wonder if he keeps calling Iraq instead...
[+11] u/TeamDisrespect: You may have had a bad day but just know that somewhere, at this very moment, a young affluent otherwise healthy boy is learning for the first time that he has bone spurs
[+11] u/Internal_Field5970: These violent delights have violent ends
[+11] u/kaapooj: I made $2.45 and paid $40 in commissions
god bless america
[+11] u/SilverPrivateer: Why oh why did he not just steal Greenland and regime change Cuba
[+11] u/xironically23: Does anyone else just not hold their options for longer than 20 minutes, sure I'm missing out on profit but I'm making 10-20%
[+11] u/pooterssssssssss: Bulls are desperately begging for the AH tweet to save their port which is down 25% in a month...
[+11] u/kwarknagel: Dicks out for Harambe
[+11] u/vee1rot8: “What are my moves Tomorrow?”
I don’t even fucking know anymore
[+11] u/puts_every_day: 🥭 casually tweeting about committing war crimes to pump the stock market. I'm ashamed for the bols.
[+11] u/ModeForJoe: BREAKING: Iran tweets have more influence over the market than Cheeto Benito.
[+11] u/Historical_Bother274: Any new updates from our Iranian quant?
[+11] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: PM Netanyahu: "Over half of Iran war's objectives achieved... End of war timeline undecided"
[+11] u/EnginrA: Ladies ladies! One at a time please! I only have one tongue hehe
[+11] u/jetbridgejesus: A tanker has been struck by an unknown projectile off the coast of Dubai, setting the vessel on fire -UKMTO [https://x.com/Osinttechnical/status/2038735078113554752?s=20](https://x.com/Osinttechnical/status/2038735078113554752?s=20)
[+11] u/smart_doge: People keep asking what’s the goal of the war.
The goal is clear, distraction. In fact, the question should be, when can we get back to the files?
[+11] u/Brodieischeese: Calls on blood pressure
[+11] u/fartpooppee420: My bitch wife won't let me name our upcoming child Ayatollah Israel Palestine
[+11] u/Gom_KBull: >*5:54PM ET- African countries like Nigeria, Sudan and Somalia have already started to see the impact of the rising fuel prices and a lack of aid and food that was meant to be delivered to help those in need, according to the IRC.*
*4:54PM ET- Iran's Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps said it struck an Israeli container ship that was carrying a flag "of a third country," according to the semi-official news agency Fars.*
*-NBC News*
# Peace talks going well
^(wtf is 'semi-official' lmao)
[+11] u/FartPolluter: Panic selling when they killed Khamenei was probably like a top 4 strat
[+11] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: I still don't understand the pump at open. Every news article was saying Iran told 🥭 to fuk off
[+11] u/ANJR2: Imagine working hard for 30 years just to see your retirement go down faster than a Nikola prototype. iykyk
[+11] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: she’s got a 🦋 tattoo on her pelvis, drives a Nissan Altima with paper plates and gives the best gawk gawk 3000 special
amma ask her to marry me
surely i can change her!
[+11] u/Twelvesthegreat: Bols acting like you needed to be a genius to predict more oil shit would be attacked in the middle east LMAO
[+11] u/BarbellPadawan: This news cycle has been like 28 days longer than the average for this Administration
[+11] u/Scalpaholic: Just like 2007 we're going to b lulled into this somehow all being ok.
Over next few weeks Market will stabilize and then float up despite what we see happening every day tonthe contrary.
Will be doing Calls till something actually breaks as a result of high energy prices colliding with stupidly leveraged investments...thinking of a Catalyst such as:
--> a major company defaults
--> because Private Credit companies collapse
--> Because AI companies default due to supply growth constraints and energy cost
--> Because BTC goes to $0 instantly or something and AI was investing way to much in crypto.
[+11] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: The amount of ads on truth social is disgusting
[+11] u/grantern2: I lost $40 today. Not bad I guess
[+11] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/BuyHighCryLat3r made a bet that SPY would go to 626.0 within **1 hour** when it was 630.847 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 8 wins and 37 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+11] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #sorry we sent bommbsss can you please reopen- taco
[+11] u/EducationalCicada: High-heeled boots on the ground.
[+11] u/Ok_Abbreviations8440: According to my calculations, the Fibonacci, the liquidation zones, I have no fucking clue what’s going on
[+11] u/AnalBeadsInSpace: Who could've predicted this? It's a shame that only 70,000,000-ish people had this insight.
[+11] u/Internal_Field5970: Remember when they tried to convince people that Joe Rogan’s opinion mattered
[+11] u/2020isgreat: Is this the greatest amount of times a country has been defeated?
[+11] u/Manufactured_feces: Where is the sp500 heading?
-10%
-15%
-20%
[+11] u/CATLLM: USA and Japan lost the oil shorts lmao we gonna see oil at $120 by open
[+11] u/spyputs1: Bessent got margin called finally
[+11] u/14BrewMan: Kuwait Petroleum Corporation: A large Kuwaiti crude oil tanker was targeted while at port in Dubai, the state-owned oil company has announced
[+11] u/Ok_Cry7572: Someone is grabbing $1.2M worth of $SPY 2DTE calls before close
Someone grabbed $2M worth of 3DTE $TQQQ calls 40 mins before close
[+10] u/Hwangoutpltr: The Hormuz Files didn't kill themselves
[+10] u/theykeepbanningmebro: Deleting the app and coming back in September
[+10] u/Flat-Focus7966: I will just focus on Crimson desert for a few days...
[+10] u/liito-orava1: We're in Chinese water torture market, feels worse every day
[+10] u/Paul_Robert_: I'm so financially cooked 💀
[+10] u/No-Insurance100: So what do all of those people holding 4/17 575 and 585 puts know
[+10] u/astromouse2024: I FORGOT TO SELL MY PUTS
[+10] u/LiechtensteinCitizen: You'd imagine at least one person in 🥭's close circle would tell him: "hey, this isn't a good idea."
[+10] u/PureAlpha22: His ego can’t handle this, we’ll get some fake ass tweet later
[+10] u/Normal-Phase-1252: trump seizing the cease fire by the sea shore
[+10] u/cat_herder4: You can tell a lot of you people weren't trading in 2008
[+10] u/Muted_Wasabi_1284: Anyone else fucking tired of boomers going over to LinkedIn to post their stupid misinformation? When will the boomers go away. Fuck
[+10] u/oldprecision: Caroline: Who you going to believe, our liar or theirs?
[+10] u/Paul_Robert_: Folks, you've seen some really regarded plays. Hell, I've made extremely regarded plays. But, get a load of this:
https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/s/vKQOL2B0lc
10k on meme stock calls, worth $0.01 💀
[+10] u/mayorolivia: Where is Tom Fat Cuck Lee to tell us April will be a monster month?
[+10] u/TheRootOfMostEvil: I guess I don’t care anymore. Let it burn to the ground. I’m going to get my shit paid off
[+10] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Be real cool to see -4% tonight
[+10] u/Ok-Indication-3754: Oil up and my oil stocks down guess it’s not the same
[+10] u/Shot-Welcome-2822: Peace negotiations are going great, it’s going so tremendously well I will be sending some of our greatest soldiers to extend our peaceful intentions directly. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!!!
[+10] u/RegardedDegen: I'm just sitting here selling AMD covered calls.
[+10] u/Rvin16: Is making $1k today good for a small poor like me?
[+10] u/ai___________: “But time in the market is better than timing the market”
[+10] u/HauHauHauHauHauHau: Im gonna need to work 7 days a week to continue trading
I’ve lost all my money LOL
[+10] u/Ok-Analysis4121: Paid a prostitute in oil for 5 minutes
[+10] u/PompeiiSketches: Why does every pizzeria have some hot chick in the back wearing yoga shorts making pizzas??
[+10] u/tidjou: How are they gonna hold that island, am i regarded?
[+10] u/LarryCarrots: So far the iran-man is 1 for 1 on market moves
[+10] u/Garbage-Disposal-938: hey guys. this isn't 440 kilograms of enriched uranium. it's just a box of hubcaps.
[+10] u/Canningred: What is 🥭’s job? Seems like whatever it is, he should be better at it.
[+10] u/FabulousLanguage6216: Just release Diddy’s oil reserve
[+10] u/Gaso_Lina: Ghey by day. Strait overnight.
[+10] u/HistorianMuch8963: Enough with these baby drops.
I want a really catastrophic waterfall crash hitting at least 2 circuit breakers
and I want it now! (615p expire thursday)
[+10] u/No-Improvement3164: Some mother Fukrs going to be eating RAM sandwiches for years. 😂😂
[+10] u/DingleJingle_: Remember liberation day tariffs? Simpler times. This is such a mess.
[+10] u/dontslambro: Stocks that were higher under Biden than today :
AAPL
AMD
AMZN
BA
INTC
MA
META
MSFT
NFLX
QCOM
RDDT
TSLA
V
LLY
[+10] u/ValueOfADollar: going on down to south park, gonna have myself a time
[+10] u/ddrsdght: 2026 script writers going crazy
[+10] u/pineapplekiwipen: i can no longer afford top ramen so bottom ramen it is boys
[+10] u/Muted-South4737: !banbet SPY 599.99 10d
[+10] u/SpeakerImaginary9796: Buls been real quiet recently
[+10] u/Nice-Difference8641: I know that this stuff was probably already priced in but it’s really funny that oil futures didn’t moon on reports that a tanker in Dubai was struck and the GCC are all pushing for an invasion
[+10] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Gas just went up another 30 cents in my area
[+10] u/CATLLM: CRUDE AT 106.43 HOLY FUK
[+10] u/sonofalando: If you’re working on your taxes this week don’t forget to report your income from illegal activities and stolen property
[+10] u/Ok-Analysis4121: One man will be responsible for ruining the world. Just think about that for a sec. One man.
[+10] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: 🥭 has no idea what to do. I can feel it in my bones. Taco didn't work this time.
[+10] u/jyohnyb: Total economic collapse, in my opinion
[+10] u/zer0_chance284: Roth IRA just hit a negative all time return. Awesome
[+10] u/QuantrixQuintrix: Call myself a trader but I’m really just a loser.
[+10] u/rollinhating: If DOW could just drop like 3-4% overnight i would be forever greatful..
[+10] u/HeftyBox3580: ‘Still you feed us lies from the tablecloth…’
[+10] u/1-gp: We used to send emissaries to declare war. Now we tweet and send memes
[+10] u/GreenGameboyColor: Why is the pizza box square when the pizza is round and the slices are triangles? 🤔
[+10] u/Tay_Tay86: I love watching these high paid 'analysts' get asked war questions on CNBC on bloomberg. "Well Mr. Analyst, if they take Kharg island how does that affect the price of oil?"
"UHM UHM, GULP, COUGH. WELL, YOU SEE.... this is complicated, I uh... well we need to see how it plays out"
Wall Street does NOT understand War at ALL. Remember that and how this market is behaving will make sense. They have no clue and eventually they will panic because they can't figure it out.
[+10] u/StandardDot5115: BUY
*-1%*
THE
*-2%*
FUCKING
*-1%*
NVM
[+9] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: Bessent got oil up his ass
[+9] u/OrdinaryMix4013: [ Removed by Reddit's Antiwar Sentiment ]
[+9] u/AGigatonicxs: Ground invation seeme inavatable maxbe tonight
[+9] u/trsx5: Hey at least those 5 guys can't swim with the ladies anymore in a regional swim meet in a town nobody lives in.
[+9] u/ballsonreddit: Lots of cuties.. some just gotta lose 50 lbs
[+9] u/FartPolluter: I can understand why people might think Rubio, mango and whoever else are pumping and dumping but this time they genuinely are just trying to stop the dump and failing badly.
[+9] u/SnooRegrets6428: Iran have mercy and save us
[+9] u/No_Conversation9545: Hold puts overnight?
[+9] u/mechajlaw: We get the tiniest v, and people are declaring the bottom lol.
[+9] u/justarandumthrowaway: When’s the 🌮? It’s been 15 min since market closed
[+9] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: Just found out that a former WWE CEO is our education secretary 🤣
[+9] u/Bam2458: And to think all of this could have been avoided if everyone had just said thank you more.
[+9] u/Good_Application6245: notice how when gey bers take over the thread its just sad and depressing but when bols are in charge everyone is laughing and in whimsy
[+9] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: Why did oil skyrocket in past few mins?
[+9] u/Leather_Mention5916: Remember a year ago where every dip was bought?? Yeh well this is the opposite of that. Ty the dear leader with this total necessary war to save the world.
[+9] u/SomePolack: Guys, 🥭 posted an interview of his younger self talking about invading Iran to take their oil
Idk what kind of shit some of y’all smoking but this isn’t ending without an attempt to do just that
Long oil
[+9] u/defordj: The Epstein files are like The Game. You lose when you remember it exists
[+9] u/Yousoldmetohigh: I added spy 750c 12/31/26 to my watch list at the beginning of the year and its currently down 72%.
[+9] u/cashflow_: whatever Im gonna hold my own event and there will be strippers and boose
[+9] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Watch this ends up being -.8% or more tomorrow morning because mango is losing the war, and his grip on pumperdump tweets.
[+9] u/Me-Regarded: Is nylon rope better than natural for the final thing?
[+9] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Iran: D3@th to America
🥭: Debt to America
[+9] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Not trying brag or nuttin, but im currently sweating. From being outside.
^trying ^to ^tie ^this ^rope ^on ^a ^tree ^limb
[+9] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: I still really wanna know what Putin has on 🥭. No way it's just a peepee tape
[+9] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: \*scratches neck\*
y'all got any more of dem green days
[+9] u/modder9: Shahed drone POV videos are going to be insane.
[+9] u/theummeower: I just watched Send Help.
My new fetish is Rachel Mccadams pretending to cut off my balls
[+9] u/DeezSpicyNuts: How tf you gonna wake up on Tuesday and watch 3,000 people die when you’re 12 that shit was wild yo
[+9] u/CigInside: It’s cute when wsj or someone tries to make a big deal out of analysts changing their target. By buddy is an analyst and is addicted to ketamine. This isn’t a real business
[+9] u/Wall_St_Bussy: Ketchup sandwiches for the family until we run out of bread, then it’s everyone for themselves
[+9] u/BarbellPadawan: “USS Tripoli about to open the Strait of Trump, turn Iran into a secular constitutional democracy. Oil to 50. S&P to 7500 EOW.”
-Bulls, (probably)
[+9] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: So what prevents Iran from just digging up the nuclear shit at the end of all this?
[+9] u/It-hurts-whenIP: I’m tired of all this winning
[+9] u/mrhappyfunz: Hey - futures are up!!!
Where are all those cocky bulls at? C’mon - this time it will be different
[+9] u/Historical_Bother274: Snowflake subreddit is barely discussing the war. Bols are so fcked
[+9] u/Tay_Tay86: **You were given time. You were given orders. You were given more margin than most, and yet I find this market unprepared for the arrival of our Beartrum Empire.**
[+9] u/Ok_Cry7572: I had a dream yesterday that I had a girlfriend. She put her head on my shoulder. I'm single
[+9] u/anerdknownaswill: I’ve got $9k in spy puts. Am I fucked or rich?
[+9] u/CigInside: It is funny that GWB at least tried to have reasons for Middle East action. This Iran thing just seems like something to do
[+9] u/LasyKuuga: Just found out Romani ppl are Indian.
I feel lied to
[+9] u/DefiantDelta: I just got off the phone with the presıdent. He said he's 10 feet tall and can fly when he wants to just by flapping his arms really fast.
[+9] u/ShittyUsernane1222: A relief rally requires either regime change in US/Israel or shorts covering en masse.
Neither has happened yet as of now.
[+9] u/Coogiez: I ain’t gonna lie. This makes no sense
[+9] u/Anchises1: does anyone know when stocks will go up?
[+9] u/LetigiousBoobFart: should i buy some MU shares right now, or wait 5 minutes and buy it for cheaper?
[+9] u/Outrageous_Method432: MU bag holders are more delusional than Corn and Sex robot maker ‘Tesla’ investors.
[+9] u/KindInsurance333: Gas finally crossed $5/gal where I am at. Das not it mane
[+9] u/weewoowewoooo: USO gonna open at $140 lmfaoooo
[+9] u/NynNyxNyx: " More on the tanker attack: **Kuwait Petroleum Corporation said a giant Kuwaiti crude oil tanker was directly targeted** in what it described as an Iranian attack while anchored at Dubai port in the United Arab Emirates, causing damage to the vessel and a fire onboard, the state news agency Kuna said on Tuesday."
:)
[+9] u/Separate_Asparagus94: Futures are red I’m holding sooooo many calls.
[+9] u/Unh0lyCatf1sh: remember when oil was -$40 a barrel
[+9] u/xlmtothemoon: "gonna buy so much nvda under 170"
165: "lol, i aint touchin that shit"
[+9] u/svpa3991: Some New York homeless person can show up to the event mods are hosting and I wouldn’t even question it the way I see some of yall playing 0DTEs lmao
[+9] u/WrexyWrex: say it with me, "i thought it would be down even more"
classic
[+9] u/spellbadgrammargood: I love WSB, where else can you shitpost and talk to virgins all day?
[+9] u/Stealthless: Fuck BULL, lost 67% I hope that company gets nuked 💣🖕
[+9] u/WrexyWrex: I just remembered I have to go get gas 😔
[+9] u/iswearnotagain10: Tomorrow is the day. $4 gas nationwide. It ticked up to $3.99 today and with the crude price increases it should be at $4 tomorrow
[+9] u/Ok_Upstairs3431: if you listen very closely thru the crack of your window you can probably still hear the bloomberg writer that came up with this beauty of a pargaph "the fuck to I know what's going on, why not also warcrimes
>Trump has regularly vacillated between saying a deal with Iran is imminent and warning he’s prepared to increase the military tempo. The threat to water facilities would constitute a war crime [as defined](https://ihl-databases.icrc.org/en/ihl-treaties/api-1977/article-54) by the Geneva Conventions.
[+9] u/wright_on_: Putting together a micro returns ETF:
Microsoft
Micron
Microstrategy
What else
[+9] u/Thebaxxxx: Cant wait for spy to be worth $1
[+9] u/DeezSpicyNuts: I’m always reluctant to show girls how I collect my shit in mason jars and keep it on shelves in the basement because I don’t trust that the government isn’t harvesting my DNA down at the sewage treatment plant
They just never understand 😞
[+9] u/baller1able: MU went from being an infinite money glitch to an infinite tax write off glitch...
[+9] u/Me-Regarded: Oh man, futes are futing .0002% ber so fuk!!
[+9] u/CATLLM: Everything will be +20% more expensive by September lmao
[+9] u/Time-Cardiologist906: Look bols yall got green! 😂
[+9] u/ziggyho: He is on to spacex weirdo
[+8] u/financiallythriving: Flipping barrels of oil on Facebook marketplace as a full time job now
[+8] u/NaturalFortune8397: WHOS READY FOR THE POST MARKET FAKE PEACE DEAL #4
[+8] u/Undercover_NSA-Agent: None of this would have happened if only we said Thank You 😔
[+8] u/PropheticMurmurs: My favorite trick during broad downturns is attempting to incorrectly time the bottom.
[+8] u/Christiano97: I’m a perma bull but it just cost me $100 to fill up I’m buying puts tomorrow
[+8] u/Ill-Expression1737: MU about to give up all gains. literally all of it
[+8] u/Bright-Revolution496: Small correction, and suddenly forever bulls pushing the economic collapse button
[+8] u/WrexyWrex: I know you guys are mad but it's going to get worse not better
[+8] u/llDS2ll: **FREAK THE FUCK OUT AND PANIC SELL EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW! IT'S FUCKING OVER!**
[+8] u/TheGeoGod: You ready for the drilling to continue tomorrow?
[+8] u/jpwhat: Man….i have a feeling the markets aren’t doing well in 2026.
[+8] u/comps226: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+8] u/SecurityFar1910: Profit taking shorts at the end pumping the market I’m guessing?
[+8] u/2tonehead: Only puts from here on out til the end of time... or the wendys dumpster...
[+8] u/Czyzzle: I'm going to call and negotiate for Iran
[+8] u/Cav829: I'm starting to question whether this war was a good idea.
[+8] u/feti_wap: That kid who bit his dick is a fuckin hero.
[+8] u/smart_doge: Bols have accurately predicted 18 out of 2 Bol rallies in last 5 weeks
[+8] u/Xczf: NASA sending people to the moon? With the current fuel prices?
[+8] u/MixFit5225: This shit is fucked man
[+8] u/isolated-cat: you see that pump on oil too? just made me 1k+ on my 103.39 long contract that am gonna hold, until it takes it all away in one giant red candle
[+8] u/XorAndNot: not a good day for MU :(
[+8] u/EnginrA: Red poop is normal right?
[+8] u/rollinhating: If you gonna put boots on the ground, why drag it out... Just do it, let the market suffer for a week or 2 until it becomes the new " normal " like Iraq was..
[+8] u/Helios-Sol: #i’m daddys slutty bagholder
[+8] u/Pazzaaaaaa: THE OIL IS OVER 105$
[+8] u/JoocePop: thank god for pay day. i’m a pathetic wagie
[+8] u/Lost-Plankton-4741: Darts at board. Don’t look for weeks. Profit.
[+8] u/hfbvm2: Iranian guy was tweeting into the void with no audience.
Spy is at 630. Mango man makes up fake negotiations with Iran. Market pumps.
Media says the person is Ghalibaf giving him huge audience.
He uses the audience to drop spy below 630. Countering mango pump.
[+8] u/gotcreme: I’m going to start praying soon
[+8] u/DufflebagJoe: And I thought 660 was the bottom 😬
[+8] u/PulIthEld: Dune part 2 doesn't even make sense. (spoilers)
This fucking bitch sees this dude survive poison that nobody has ever survived. Sees and understands he can literally see all futures.
He fucking overthrows the emperor and kills the Harkonnen leader who have devastated her entire people for generations.
But shes mad because he accepts the power literally forced on him by fate and billions of people dependent on his abilities.
What a fucking cunt.
[+8] u/trsx5: I started an AI portfolio from Schwab near the top, with my late father’s IRA money. I’ve already lost 10%. Fuck AI I thought that shit was supposed to be smart
[+8] u/Cool_Guy_McFly: I will admit as this downturn started it did get to me. I was frustrated looking at stocks bleeding out slowly everyday.
When I watched the market today I just laughed. Like fuck it man, let it go to fuckin zero for all I care. Who gives a fuck 😂.
[+8] u/abroadbroadband: Whenever I'm too busy to check stocks during the day, and I open it up after market close, it's like reverse Christmas
I never feel good when I open the app, and feel even worse after opening it
🎁 Leave it closed 👐
[+8] u/MadHat0815: Okay so the last Tankers which left before the war started are arriving at ports just about now. Hormuz is roughly 20% of global oil supply, a bit more for LNG and 33% of Helium.
The oil still has to be refined and trasported, so that gives us lets say 2-3 more weeks. Then we will see a real shortage/horrendous prices depending on where you live (Asia is cooked and Europe isn´t looking good either), unless strategic reseveres are taped way more.
RIP gas guzzling pickup trucks, you wont be missed.
[+8] u/DanqueLeChay: Bols: it’s not even down 0.5%! 🎉🥳
[+8] u/Gom_KBull: Here's a hint
Just ask yourself "Is the ghey of homouz still closed?"
Just trade off of that
Everything else is just noise
[+8] u/Valkorion335786: It's official
We need Alexander the Great to defeat Iran
[+8] u/Previous_Hope_2087: I am just a retard trying to catch a 100x.
[+8] u/Wall_St_Bussy: #lying sacks of maggot covered shit, every single one of them
[+8] u/Worried_Quarter469: You’re just mad god didn’t choose your people
[+8] u/FeverTreeCloud: Rubio says “we have to see if the people (we are supposedly negotiating with) ends up being in charge of Iran 🇮🇷
🤡🤡🤡
[+8] u/TacoAlPastorConQueso: 🥭 said USA won against Iran 4 weeks ago, he wasn't lying, right ?
[+8] u/Dude_HaHa: WTI is climbing, Bol is dying. Hoes are laughing.
[+8] u/WrexyWrex: when you guys see the aftermath of this you will understand we will be in stagflation for a very long time
[+8] u/disgusting-puppy: Honestly, if you zoom out, 600 looks like a doable think for this week
[+8] u/brute-forced: It isn’t just the economy, everything is worse
[+8] u/SeliciousSedicious: I’m gonna go to the nutty putty cave now
[+8] u/wendysdumpstr: at this point you can buy puts at open and check back at 3pm 🤐
[+8] u/sloanemonroe: Anyone been going to bars? Are the bartenders getting hotter? Best early recession indicator as their boyfriends can no longer afford to pay their rent.
[+8] u/Jealous_Archer_4522: Me: "Doc I seem to have developed a bad case of anal seepage."
Doc: "Stop sticking things up your anoos."
Me: "It's not my idea doc it's the ghey bears & I don't like it."
Doc: "Better learn to like it cause it looks like your gonna be bigly fukt for a good while."
tl:dr #biglyfukt
[+8] u/Walking72: I keep getting emails from noreply@... Telling me I have to act now. How am I supposed to get in touch with these people. I guess I'll just have to click on the attached exe.
[+8] u/OptionGamble: Futures are muted so far. They seem scared
[+8] u/sarcago: Got a sweet farmer’s tan doing manual labor today, checking in on the market and SPY hit the 620s today? lmaoooooo 😂
[+8] u/aqjingson: This doesn’t end until bill ackman’s tears mix with the reserve oil
[+8] u/FabulousLanguage6216: Iran is like Walter White in braking bad:
“I am the danger”
[+8] u/moosewithamuffin: Peace deal gonna drop on April 1st and no one will believe it LMAO!
[+8] u/moosewithamuffin: Listening to these nerds yap on YT about metrics and vol, etc. LMAO
Stonks go up or down don't overthink it!
[+8] u/ConsiderationKey1658: Santa rally starts tomorrow
[+8] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: Why the fuck did I decide to buy stuff today?
Luckily I bought near the EOD so I’m mostly flat, but I don’t wanna hold this shit and it’s gonna take like 5 mins to sell all these stupid shares.
[+8] u/ballsonreddit: Remember
We ain’t gonna bottom until you become a bottom for money
[+8] u/DrummerCompetitive20: MU could open up under 300 tomorrow....lol. wild. -50% n a week off incredible earnings
[+8] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Ahh there it is. The proper movement under retarded administrations
[+8] u/KindInsurance333: I spent a solid 2 minutes at Wal-Mart going back and forth between buying Coco Kirspies or saving $0.49 and going with store brand "Cocoa Dyno-Bytes" instead. Mind you, I dropped $2k on calls this morning without thinking twice. I think I might actually be regard
[+8] u/_Netgirth: Listening to that old interview 🥭 tweeted, I think he may have been born with dementia
[+8] u/IslandExact429: Even the V’s are so weak now LMAO
[+8] u/Waveytony: Oil $200 not a meme??
[+8] u/Vegeta9001: At least the 2020 circuit breakers were kind of exciting. This is just a gradual decline.
[+8] u/hv876: * we have won the war
* open the strait
* we are negotiating
* I will blow up your energy infrastructure
* talks are going well
* I will blow up your desalination plants
Meanwhile, bols, it’ll go to ATH once he tweets about peace.
[+8] u/legible_print: It’s interesting seeing the news continue to glaze 🥭 with Iran.
They are working overtime to avoid using “deploy.” Instead, troops are being “sent” to the Middle East.
[+8] u/Far-Requirement9180: Some of you were not trading in 2022 and it blows lol
[+8] u/Muted-South4737: Guys, the next Truth will be different. He'll mean it, this time.
[+8] u/cryptopolymath: Are gas station tacos any good? It’s Tuesday tomorrow
[+8] u/jarkon-anderslammer: trump flies to saudi arabia last year, does the whole dog and pony show, comes back bragging about $600B in saudi investment and like $2T total from the gulf states. huge chunk of that was AI stuff. data centers, chips, the whole deal. nvidia, amd, oracle all got their piece. everyone clapping.
then he turns around and starts bombing iran. the country right across the water from where all that money was supposed to go. iran fires back and literally hits AWS data centers in the UAE and bahrain. two out of three availability zones in the UAE are still messed up. amazon is telling clients to move their data out of the region. brent crude is at $116 because the strait of hormuz is shut down which also jacks up the cost of running every data center in the country since most of them run on natural gas.
so now you got $2T in gulf AI pledges that might never fully show up, the infrastructure companies that were supposed to benefit are getting hammered by energy costs, and the region where they were building out is literally getting bombed. bloomberg is saying the war could split the AI trade in half where the hyperscalers (amzn, goog, msft) eat it on infrastructure costs while the software side (openai, anthropic) rides it out.
[+8] u/VenomBite214: Looks like everyone who held MU for longer than 3 months are selling to fix the profits. And everyone who's got in the last 3 months are panic selling for losses...
[+8] u/TequieroVerde: "The same thing we do every night Pinky. Try to take over the world!"
[+8] u/WrexyWrex: you guys are angry, i'll come back after you had time to cope
[+8] u/skychief99: Bulls buying ONCE AGAIN into that Orange Kool-Aid this morning. LMAO
[+8] u/zestykite: a wise man once said.. ."nothing bad can happen, it can only good happen" . so i will buy some ES long here.
[+8] u/A55BAG: Imagine if that Iranian parlament head is trading against Bessent now.
The world is retarded it might actually happen 🤣🤣
[+8] u/Brain-Silent: Im going to full port puts now
[+8] u/SomePolack: If a hostile foreign government can now publicly influence the NYSE with fucking tweets we are beyond cooked
[+8] u/jean_belcher: my move... is to ohio, the only place i can afford to live now after these past few weeks.
[+8] u/Previous_Hope_2087: If my port ever goes green all time I’ll quit being so self destructive. Gotta long way to go.
[+8] u/sushilee123: The kinda stress I’m feeling rn isn’t healthy.
[+8] u/Low_Plastic363: Oil is getting spicier and spicier.
[+8] u/OrdinaryMix4013: this would have never happened under a woman admin
[+8] u/Only-Cranberry-4502: Like spy isn’t doing that good I think
[+8] u/Neat-Ambition-2977: At least tomorrow's job numbers will stop the bleeding 😏
[+8] u/defordj: An underrated bright spot in 2008 was that there was a reasonably competent incoming presidential administration. This is like if 2008 was 3x as bad, started from a worse place, and had the 40 dumbest people alive in charge of fixing it.
[+8] u/trumpdiego: ##Salaam, welcome to Wendish, how may I help you? Perhaps a Davood Double? A non-baconator?!? A limited edition straight of hormuz Frostee? or just the usual halaal handy jay?
[+8] u/Unemployable1593: feels like a get blackout kinda night
[+8] u/nyse25: barber called me a retard I was like damn how did he know Im on WSB 😔
[+8] u/CPA-hole: Oil $200 is not a meme
[+8] u/Any_Refrigerator2330: Don't give then ideas
[+8] u/Snoo23417: You mean a dump and dump? Yes.
[+7] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Bol I’m buying puts for a sacrifice thank me later
[+7] u/Soft_Ladder_7894: pump over night dump tomorrow
perfect plan
[+7] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #[ Removed by Reddit for Opposing War Efforts ]
[+7] u/RFKsBrainwormm: Who still likes this fuckin guy?
[+7] u/Specialist_Shallot82: Every March and April mango decides to nuke everyones ports. I’m buying puts next year
[+7] u/TheNicestRedditor: War is over! We won again!
[+7] u/MooseyGoosey69: Is Jpow going to the wsb meetup?
[+7] u/Commercial-District1: No chance Trump increases attacks over Easter weekend. Big chance Iran retaliates over Easter weekend.
[+7] u/NebulaBorn6389: More like the Gays of Hormuz
[+7] u/2020isgreat: Bulls 0 : reality 30
[+7] u/DingleJingle_: Why would Jimmy Carter do this?
[+7] u/CigInside: I can buy a house in my market for 20% down and have a mortgage of like 4,000/mo. I can then turn around and rent it out for $2,000 a month. Seems like a super healthy market
[+7] u/kaapooj: if u don't own a barrel of bonito sour crude, what are u even doing?
[+7] u/Muted-South4737: The people most afraid of a new world order voted it into being. The irony is rich and velvety.
[+7] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Honestly it feels like for at least 2 years the bers have been screaming circuit breaker. Will they finally get one?? Find out on the next episode of SPY MARKET Z: UNNECESSARY IRANIAN WAR!
[+7] u/TheMightySet69: I'm gonna see what fake news story they come up with during premarket and then inverse it like that Iranian guy said to. He's shooting 100% so far.
[+7] u/Previous_Hope_2087: I lost 20g in my Roth IRA. I am a retard. (This was a year ago, it still hurts.)
[+7] u/bringkiteback: Boys have a penis and girls have vagina
[+7] u/Muted-South4737: What a *fucking* day
[+7] u/kwarknagel: There is no war in Ba Sing Se
[+7] u/pinkerton_gov: Always interesting how it pumps after 0DTEs close for Robinhood at 3:30p
[+7] u/brute-forced: -16% EOY. Ive been calling it for months. Keep those downvotes comin’
[+7] u/Moepenmoes: Sometimes I see my reflection in the monitor and then I'm like "what the fuck am I doing with my life?"
[+7] u/3bizzle: Calls then puts then calls then puts then broke
[+7] u/octopus4488: Can we finally stop this winning Mr Mangooo?
[+7] u/Dihh_hydration: Loaded on ASTS $100 calls expiring March 2027. Will be the easiest money ever.
[+7] u/Icommandyou: Market closed, the war will resume. Thank you for your attention to the matter
[+7] u/Normal-Phase-1252: there‘s no chip shortage if nobody can afford guac
[+7] u/Skeleton-ear-face: Trump needs to quit threatening and just do the dang thing. Dragging this out is hurting my theta
[+7] u/Specialist_Fig9458: If you didn’t make money today you’re either retarded or a permabol… wait why did I say the same thing twice LMAO
[+7] u/Hwangoutpltr: LMAO This orange guy sucks
[+7] u/Confident-Window4928: If I had any assets in Webull, which I don’t, but if I did, I would move them out of that dogshit app before the whole company goes under. Probably not gonna be able to talk about the ticker soon here 🤣
[+7] u/RedMilo: 🥭 must be blowing a gasket. Normally his words can change the market, but now he can only lift it 0.5% and it falls right back down (and no, I'm not talking about the stock market).
[+7] u/jeffynihao: USO still going up. RIP.
[+7] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Honestly hilarious we went from green to red today. For how many times this happened to bers they were due.
[+7] u/Extreme_Coast8002: im a generational oklo bag holder now.
[+7] u/Czyzzle: Orange man tweet oil price down wen?
[+7] u/Powerful_Rub_4051: Ride the fucking oil wave this shit is not gonna be resolved soon despite the pump tweets
[+7] u/AgitatedJump8459: People are talking about full porting oil. Is this the top?
[+7] u/Paul_Robert_: Just bought another 500 LUNR shares on margin 💀
[+7] u/BlakeTheDog: Oh fuck I'm going to capitulate
[+7] u/natures3: I’m down 8% YTD. Was up 150% in 2025. Guess it’s a win.
[+7] u/No-Improvement3164: Let’s run Oil up 200% to where everyone goes broke and let them pour that shit on their Waffles. 🧇
[+7] u/Scalpaholic: Really is crazy how Market fantasizes about consumers eventually being forced to pay more than $0.99 for Arizona Teas but completely melts down if we pay more than 2007 prices for gasoline. 🤔
[+7] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: hey red days and bear markets are more fun here
MOOOAAAAR
[+7] u/RonBlake: Tanker hit near Dubai
[+7] u/Shoddy_Ad897: Why the fuck is youtube recommending me survival items to buy before they spike in price vids
[+7] u/Flat-Focus7966: I am losing money in video games now. Chose high risk strategy in Crimson desert's bank & down by 25% in 3 days
Gimme a break!!
[+7] u/nikerock: How are the $MU gang doing? Hope y'all haven't all committed to $ROPE yet.
[+7] u/Historical_Bother274: FUTES ARE GREEN QUICK BOLS COME OUT OF HIDING AND TAKE SCREENSHOT
[+7] u/kemar7856: Always darkest before the dawn
It's coming the day mkt just goes +10%
[+7] u/Independent-Tree-985: In honor of the bear market I made sauteed onions and mushrooms over an all american kraft single cheesey 90% lean ground beef
[+7] u/Unique_Zucchini1041: We are going to rip now since I have puts ! I can guarantee that
[+7] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Bulls haven't had a win since MJ. Damn
[+7] u/stupidber: Would you rather take a dump without your phone or without toilet paper?
[+7] u/LouieM13: Idk why the bulls are acting out right now
[+7] u/Nice-Difference8641: Tfw the vice president of a personalist regime of 30 million with a 4th rate military proposes you help her with a coup, and you think success in this endeavor means you will be able to regime change an ideologically entrenched theocracy of 90 million people with aggressive military action
[+7] u/plzplzplztendies: If you’re feeling dumb like being a bul, just remember Will Smith married Jada Pinkett. Even Tupac faked his death to dodge that bullet.
[+7] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: When I bought my calls at close, this was not what I expected
[+7] u/Lostmymindandmoney: I weighed myself before and after I took a poop. I lost 13 pounds
[+7] u/2keyed: Just spent $100 on 17 gallons of gas. Bullish
[+7] u/cannythecat: The Iranians nickname for America is "the great satan." Good luck invading and occupying their homeland!
[+7] u/falken2023: Just crash the fuckin economy already. Ready for the soup lines.
[+7] u/DufflebagJoe: Fucked again for the 10 day in a row, funny how that happens.
[+7] u/MarginCuck: Stonks only go down
Except Microslop
LMAO
[+7] u/1-gp: Just delivered a DoorDash order (im a procurement optimization & delivery specialist) to this middle aged chick, and turns out rich people are starting to cut back on the collagen supplements cause holy shit her wrinkles were canyon-made
Short mcdonalds
[+7] u/Appropriate-Lunch217: Never ceases to amaze me how confident both sides are
[+7] u/PropheticMurmurs: Normally you'd flee to Gold and Silver during a potential downturn.
Well those already got meme pump and dumped this year, so now what?
[+7] u/Separate_Asparagus94: I know as soon as I buy a put we will get a good headline
[+7] u/cbusoh66: Do you all remember when a company would announce a deal (even shitty deals) with OpenAI and would pump several hundreds billions in a day?
Pepperidge Farm Remembers
[+7] u/BornInstruction2267: SPY 625 before midnight
[+7] u/No-Improvement3164: Diddy was trying to tell you something
[+7] u/DeezCodeNutz: Bers, why u so mean to me anoos?
[+7] u/Fineous400: You best start believing in bear markets, WSB... you're in one!
[+7] u/Hwangoutpltr: Twisting my junk like a balloon animal rn
[+7] u/wasifaiboply: Entire subreddits dedicated to meme stocks and shitcoins (cults) on suicide watch rn.
Wall Street has never had an easier time fleecing greater fools.
🤡🌎
[+7] u/BillyShears2015: How much lower does it have to go before bulls figure out it’s going to take more than just a 🌮 to get back to ATH?
[+7] u/dontslambro: For every 10$ oil goes up the US loses 1% of GDP. Guess we’re gonna be negative
[+7] u/PlayFree_Bird: Almost time to jump on long-dated USO puts. Either the situation gets resolved or demand crush drives us into a global recession. Either way, oil is going to be 60 dollars next year.
[+7] u/PeeOnDusk: Binance about to introduce oil perpetuals. That’s your top signal. Silver & EWY tanked after perps launched
[+7] u/goonerdawggg: Do you fear that you'll have no control?
You walk through this world with your head above water
Shoes made of copper, just trying to float
[+7] u/Academic_Lock_1699: Greenland is such old news by now
[+7] u/1-gp: Remember oceangate
Wild
[+7] u/Yogurt_Up_My_Nose: job market really doesn't seem that bad unless you're in Tech.
[+7] u/Professional_Con_007: Drill baby drill is this what he meant?
[+7] u/Previous_Hope_2087: We aren’t the same. I go full port 0DTE everyday. You complain about being down 10%
[+7] u/inappropriatetart: Bool traps are so easy
[+7] u/bandofshepherds: The Trump off ramp is apparently under construction
[+7] u/LarryStink: Just saw a pod of 5 or 6 baby orcas
[+7] u/CATLLM: This it, -19% tomorrow.
[+7] u/cbusoh66: Marco dialing a wrong number: Hello, who is this, we're trying to reach the Supreme Leader
Ali the Janitor: Hi. I am Supreme Leader. What you want?
Marco: The President wants you to accept 15 point plan and surrender.
Ali the Janitor: I accept, send me $100 Apple Card
Marco: Sir, they agreed to our demands. Can someone run to Target and get me a $100 Apple Card.
🥭: Get Bloomberg on the line and tell them war is over
SPY +3%
[+7] u/Chancey004: Holding me calls into tomorrow. We do not care 🙂↕️
[+7] u/ConsiderationKey1658: 🥭’s 5d checkers is regarded
[+7] u/Zipsterino: Next week we’ll be about 5% done.
[+7] u/userusery24: That van costs $100k and the river has been diverted for data center consumption
[+7] u/ninjiple: We all know it's happening this weekend.
[+7] u/TrollerCoasterWoo: A great time to buy is after the President issues new threats to an enemy and says he might re-examine a defensive treaty in place since Stalin was alive. Good thinking Bill 👍
[+7] u/sloanemonroe: Because it’s all controlled my him!!!
[+6] u/2020isgreat: Heads-up: Pre-market so-called “news” or “Truth” is often just a setup for profit-taking. Basically, it’s a reverse indicator.
Do the opposite: If they pump it, short it. If they dump it, go long.
See something tomorrow? You know the drill.
[+6] u/DarkR124: Looks like the market and people in general are *finally* seeing through his bullshit. His tweet pumps are less and less effective.
[+6] u/Valkorion335786: Presidential debates should just be the 2 candidates debating a tierlist of video games
[+6] u/Slow-Information-847: The troops have arrived. They cant just sleep in their hammocks for 4 weeks then pack up and go home. They have to do something
[+6] u/Specialist_Fig9458: Brent at 135 end of April
[+6] u/Accomplished-Mango92: 3rd time in 14 days the war has ended! Thank you fearless leader im glad youre my wifes boyfriend
[+6] u/AirwickS: Going down with the ship 🫡
Too deep to pull the plug now...
[+6] u/Jagged_Tide: USO at 130 and no signs of slowing down is crazy, the world may be fucked
[+6] u/mannycalls24: That mini pump into close would be a lot more convincing if oil wasn’t shooting to the moon
[+6] u/PureAlpha22: What AH lies are we getting today
[+6] u/2020isgreat: 3/3 TACOs have failed recently, about to be 4/4... find some new cope bols
[+6] u/Manufactured_feces: What if 2008 is not gonna be the worst economic downturn of our lifetimes? Wouldn’t that be fun? I miss those days. People renting out their houses as vacation rentals for $50 a day so they don’t get foreclosed on. It was cool
[+6] u/Technical-Emu-32: My left eye is STILL twitching..wtf. How much worse is it going to get 😭😭
[+6] u/Respectable_Gooner: That little movement up at the end genuinely fucked me
[+6] u/Issa_vibe74: Broke even for month today, holding nothing overnight, beautiful day, life is actually good
[+6] u/kaapooj: iranians soldiers seen mass consuming garlic sauce
--stratagem nr.33
[+6] u/CigInside: Do you all remember your first blow job?
[+6] u/Manufactured_feces: Front page of CNBC-
“Bill Ackman says it’s one of the best times in a long time to buy quality stocks“
😂
🐑 🔪 🩸
[+6] u/Queasy_Soil9646: Did 🥭 get diddled around April 2? Why does he try to fuck the market each year around the same time.
[+6] u/Sweaty-Sherbet-6926: Gulf countries pushing for ground invasion
[+6] u/Comprehensive-Eye547: 🇮🇷 quant advice was more goated than good time to buy from 🥭
[+6] u/AdCritical5383: My smol 🤏 🅿️🅿️ has some heavy trauma to work out.
[+6] u/CATLLM: Just ordered my M5 Max mac book pro 128gb ram. Such a good deal to buy now. Its gonna cost 2x more by end of year.
[+6] u/ConsiderationKey1658: he switched to those shitty hard shell tacos and his TACO broke into pieces.
[+6] u/shenaN1ckans: Down 19% in one week. We're all just a bunch of masochists.
[+6] u/whodey84: I love this for the "nothing ever happens" crew.
Hope they already vaporized their ports.
[+6] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: The amount of genius mfs we have in this country and we let a regard run it is crazy to me
[+6] u/ten7four: I'm a bitch for not buying USO at 105 when I was thinking about it. But at least I'm not a bol
[+6] u/NoBuyers: WTI didn't hear no bell.
[+6] u/Lapidated_Llama: Ok time to start contributing to my 401k I guess
[+6] u/AfraidAnalyst: VIX to 90 and let’s party
[+6] u/kaapooj: why isn't europe cutting a deal with iran?
[+6] u/Independent-Tree-985: Killed my first bug of the year. SPYs correcting too.
_Coincidence? I think not_
[+6] u/Separate_Asparagus94: Loaded up on xom puts when trump first said war was close to ending and oil would go down. July expiration but I’m down 50%. Down like 60-80% on my June visa, Disney, Amazon calls. Down 40% on July ups calls. At this point it seems stupid to take a Loss. I’m not entering puts because I’m scared any moment we get good news the market rips.
[+6] u/nikerock: Feels like a SPY 625 kinda day tomorrow.
[+6] u/nsfwnsfwnsfw33333: Does someone know what's the point of taking kharg island even? Is the oil from there specifically?
[+6] u/bigmeatbag: "Like Iran's infrastructure there are also kids which we have purposefully not yet “touched.”" - Donnie. Seriously though he sounds so creepy putting touched in quotes.
[+6] u/Manufactured_feces: Free money Tuesday. Buy your SPY puts and USO calls before CNBC lets the boomers know the truth
[+6] u/warm-regard: MU baggies in shambles
[+6] u/Actual_Difference617: I am afraid to bet on OIL because it will only take one headline to wipe out my whole position.
[+6] u/Shoganai_Hito: I bought the top, the dip, the dip of the dip, and the dip of the dip of the dip.
[+6] u/Ill-Expression1737: who else faps to their daily gains
[+6] u/aqjingson: This correction is so bad even wife’s boyfriend got caught up
[+6] u/ZealousidealSector19: This is swing trading level expert
[+6] u/DefiantDelta: “Ask Bessent to say something, maybe they’ll still buy it and believe him” running out of steam lol
[+6] u/Tillfatfire: How are u doing MU folks????
[+6] u/Fast-Reply6409: Last night I had terrifying nightmare where I was a Bol buying up stocks in the middle of an energy crisis. Later in my dream, I committed a crime but was held to be mentally unfit to stand trial after they looked at my trading history. So there was a silver lining.
[+6] u/bearhunter429: #How am I so good at predicting things? Because I can always rely on the fact that markets will do whatever it needs to do to fuck me. LMAO🤌
[+6] u/GuwopGOAT: Finally made a Roth IRA, bought Goog, MU, and MSFT lmao
[+6] u/SighRamp: Australia out of oil and Europe right behind them.
[+6] u/Hwangoutpltr: Old Asian women don't give af
[+6] u/Fantastic_Barbie: why do some mfs feel the need to comment in bold characters
[+6] u/TickTockTaudit: I have made some mistake since Oct 30th
[+6] u/userusery24: You know what they say:
Blood in the streets
Cry myself to sleep lmao
[+6] u/jay4281: 100 is the new 65 for oil lmao. Bul fuk
[+6] u/Biggandwedge: VERY Bearish. OIL to $200, everything else crashy crash.
[+6] u/Hwangoutpltr: Double decker ZYN 3mg coffee
...with coffee
[+6] u/TimujinTheTrader: Counterpoint, we are talking about people that have been jerking off to the thought of a holy war for a thousand years.
[+6] u/Distinct_Car7737: I'm developing man boobs cos of all this shit
[+6] u/Sea_Condition_6999: Buying puts on whichever bag7 opens green
[+6] u/hudson701: Gain porn on here today with EVERYONE winning on puts is fucking ridiculous, I really missed the bag today
[+6] u/LightDeflect1: only down a little, but it’s going SO much lower.
[+6] u/Successful-Walk-4023: Oil $400 a barrel tomorrow
[+6] u/trsx5: High gas prices cuz an 87 year old man from the far east is gonna blow up a 7-11 bathroom one day or something
[+6] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Honestly, we will probably at least have somewhat of a dead cat bounce tomorrow. Probably. Idk. Maybe.
[+6] u/kanyedidnothingwr0ng: Give me money. Money me. Money now. Me a money needing a lot now
[+6] u/Sad-Airman: I will pay for gasoline with my oil stock dividends
[+6] u/Striking-Fig924: Can we arrest the iranian dude for insider trading
[+6] u/Cantthinkofacoolnam: This is the worst month in the market since 2008.
What happened that year ??🤔🤯
[+6] u/lipmanz: If you bought MU a year ago now you’re only up 400%
[+6] u/DeezSpicyNuts: “Ey girl you ever consider being sexually frustrated by a milquetoast guy with low self esteem?” 😗
[+6] u/ihopethisworksfornow: Hey baby you ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?
[+6] u/fish_: what retard hasnt sold their calls yet i refuse to believe they exist
[+6] u/bigmeatbag: Is the underground child sex dungeon Donnie added included in his original ballroom budget?
[+6] u/oldprecision: Me in Walmart trying to save $0.50, meanwhile my portfolio has diarrhea, why do I even try?
[+6] u/ChampagnePapi-: i can believe trump is losing to iran lmao!! he's unleashed a massive drilldo
[+6] u/ihopethisworksfornow: The Hudson Valley is very nice.
Beautiful region.
[+6] u/moazzam0: Even if someone else was President, the prospect of a ground invasion after NATO, Israel, and the Gulf states already declined to send their troops is just insane. No way this goes beyond positioning of assets and saber rattling. There's simply no way to win.
[+6] u/OneLeggedJaguar: Maybe after everything collapses something more beautiful will emerge…
My neighbor is going to execute me over my five gallon gas canister isn’t he?
[+6] u/Independent-Tree-985: Not Marco Rubio claiming the war will be over in weeks weeks after claiming the war would be over in days
[+6] u/Carfar_Farcar: -8.9% today on almost all puts. I'm so fucking good at this.
[+6] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: If bro puts his signature on $100 bills I'm taking it to the ghetto strip club to slide it between stinky butt cheeks. F that 🥭 mfker
[+6] u/catluck: That sector map is brutal. The age of technology is over. We are returning to monke, fam.
[+6] u/Yousoldmetohigh: The guy who said "Hell is coming" during covid is currently bullish? HMMM
[+6] u/ThatGuyDan123: Ackmans statements are purely correlated to his positions
[+6] u/OG_L0c: Being a paperhanded bitch finally paid off this year
[+6] u/Due-Information-6277: Told them oil was going to 120 and they laughed.
[+6] u/1-gp: Has anyone asked The Pope what he thinks about SPY 650 calls
[+6] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Iran during “negotiations”: new phone who dis??
[+6] u/modder9: New phone Houthis? Or Answer, Allah!
(The actual name for Houthis is Ansar Allah)
[+6] u/GrandBarnacle575: This market easy to trade, just buy puts and pray
[+6] u/DoubleFamous5751: “Hey kid, imma computah. Stop all the downloadin’!”
[+6] u/modder9: Futes not even giving an ounce of hope to bol
[+6] u/mapsosa: guys i’m gunna buy MU puts tomorrow so it’ll go up
[+6] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: AP News: "Officials from Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, Kuwait and Bahrain have conveyed in private conversations that they do not want the military operation to end until there are significant changes in the Iranian leadership or there’s a dramatic shift in Iranian behavior, according to the officials, who were not authorized to comment publicly and spoke on the condition of anonymity."
[+6] u/anonkraken: Market is very well positioned for mean reversion back to like 6700 in the next few days.
...which means Mango will tweet soon and it'll tank another 7%.
[+6] u/sleepygarner: Oil up, boys. There's winning coming our way.
[+6] u/ckami_91: The war is literally an excuse for the administration to commence a pump and dump
LMFAOOOOO
[+6] u/Excellent_Row8297: Can a middle-aged guy with a dad body make money on OF? Asking for a friend
[+6] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/comps226 made a bet that SPY would go to 625.0 within **1 day** when it was 632.849 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 0 wins and 1 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+6] u/Unable_Bat_3159: Was trying to sell my puts, robinhood didn’t let me and then automatically closed my shit for a fifth of what I was expecting to make
Contacted support, they told me “sorry, go fuck yourself” so I guess I will
[+6] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: It's open.... except to the infidels
[+6] u/Madsen13140: Upvote if you're a proud degenerate, downvote if you think your dad should have pulled out
[+6] u/Sufficient-Matter-42: White House calling the leaders of Iran.
"Marco do you hear a dial tone?" If so that is progress.
[+6] u/bearhunter429: #Dude the job market is so bad right now if you have a job, hold onto it with everything you got like your life depends on it because it does LMAO🤌
[+6] u/Capt_Chickenpox: Holy hell, wtf is happening to oil? I'm getting very happy i didn't sell my calls eod today. So it's probably going to open at like 80
[+6] u/bluen: who had insider oil calls?
[+6] u/weewoowewoooo: Almost half a trillion dollar company wiped out 13% in a single day. Absolutely wild lmfao
[+6] u/Country_Gravy420: So once the ground invasion starts we have a massive down week, right? Like 10%-12% down?
[+6] u/NotMe357: "TACO has 'declined to rule out' troops on the ground, per White House."
[+6] u/Necessary_Fly_9266: Articles headline “great time to buy stocks” whole time you’re exit liquidity
[+6] u/hfbvm2: Nothing like a burning ship in the gay of hormuz to end the day. Wish i bought puts
[+6] u/Emc79: Oké, I don't want to play anymore, let's just get me my money back and we'll call it even!
[+6] u/AdministrativeWin583: Contrctors seen installing antijump netting around buildings on wall street. Calls on antijump netting.
[+6] u/jonnyraza27: Who bought MU calls last week and got fucked ?
[+6] u/TreeofLibertyFood: I’m on S&P customer service line, gonna ask for a refund. Their wait music is “Entrance of the Gladiators”. 🥴
[+6] u/Hwangoutpltr: Brain dead moron w micro peen seeks bullshit trades in the daily
[+6] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: So the drilling will continue for a while
[+5] u/TempusFugit314: V! LOOK AT THE V! ItS ViNg!!!! Whdbjcubriwlnt! -
Average bol the past two weeks
[+5] u/disgusting-puppy: bers have been preparing for this war during the past 40 years
[+5] u/RonBlake: USO helping those who help themselves
[+5] u/LiquorCaptainO: Brrnt oil to 110 overnight?
Made a typo because im jacking off to my 10x leverage long. Im leaving it
[+5] u/Ecomonist: SMART COMMENT ALERT; SPY was so high on speculative ai earnings, but when the oil prices hit real world goods (harder) and starts the DOW tumbling, we will SPY drop even more in tandem. Anyone that thinks the DOW will be propped up just on its energy holdings has probably consumed too much lead paint already. The avalanche has just begun.
[+5] u/RegardedDegen: I have 80 shares of QQQ. should I drop $11,000 to buy 20 more shares and sell covered calls?
Wouldn't be making much, but it's something.
[+5] u/RandomC6: wen does 🥭 open wide
[+5] u/jeffynihao: I need IREN to go up 25% by Thursday to break even. How did I end up here.
[+5] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: # BUT THE DOW IS GREEN
[+5] u/Affectionate-Idea690: 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Spy 600. why not. 😂
[+5] u/Unique_username93_: Getting fucked. Non consensually.
[+5] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: BREAKING:
An oil tanker located 31 nautical miles northwest of Dubai was targeted by (likely Iran) with an unknown projectile.
The vessel was caught on fire, according to the UKMTO
[+5] u/spreadbetfred: Right been in meetings all day. Time to check on my IREN position.
[+5] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Letting the V happen after market close these bers are getting smart
[+5] u/WishboneMajor7915: Just got off work. Let’s see what my 637 calls look like
[+5] u/Mission_Asparagus_17: Turnaround Tuesday never fails for dead cat bounces after consecutive red days… look at Covid, tariff scare, etc it always bounces on Tuesday if Monday is a bad selling day
[+5] u/Helios420A: holding anything overnight feels like sleeping with a flare gun tucked under my balls, idk man
[+5] u/Icommandyou: If I could time it perfectly, these daily 2trillion swings will make me very rich
[+5] u/Knarre30: Serious debate: would a ground invasion at this point be seen as bullish or bearish?
[+5] u/Scalpaholic: I have terminal 🥭 Derangement Syndrome, but I think top Iran brass really will actually buckle if the US hangs in there despite how utterly stupid this all was.
For context, we didn't pull out of Vietnam because we were losing.
After the Tet Offesive, the Vietcong were actually on the backfoot because they used so many resources to pull it off. The US military started to gain ground and shift momentum.
It was the propanganda generated from Tet and amplified by local news that the enemy would never give which eventually caused too much political pressure, then reduction in funding and force that caused the war to end.
So TLDR: Despite all my hatred, I don't doubt 🥭 can stay retarded more than Iran can stay rational.
[+5] u/kaapooj: I met j. cornelius powell during a short run to the grocery store. greeted him and asked for some advice. sharing his wisdom here with u:
always buy puts on green days, wait, sell for profit, repeat
nfa, j cornelius powell
[+5] u/Devastaytah: Thank you lord and savior JPOW for letting me dump my fuckass calls and save my port with puts on that spike today 🧎➡️🙏
[+5] u/Civil_Building_9650: Imagine if apple/google maps had ads while you’re driving lol after every 3-4 navigation moves a quick 15 second ad pops up
[+5] u/WayDry848: NETANYAHU: US SPEARHEADING MILITARY EFFORT TO REOPEN STRAIT; TRUMP'S PRESENT PRIORITY IS IRAN'S ENRICHED URANIUM
b-b-but Marco said this morning that it's all about the navy and factories?!!!
[+5] u/LiechtensteinCitizen: I'm gunna get greedy and lose it all again aren't i?
[+5] u/Normal-Phase-1252: trump announces to cease the ceasefire
[+5] u/hioman01: I am going to heaven with Jesus after he respawns
[+5] u/cannythecat: Don't forget Microsoft also had a lost decade from 2000-2012 following the indices. The big blue chips have never been recession proof.
[+5] u/bluen: you can arrest anyone for anything
[+5] u/ninjadude93: Hegseth is literally the christian taliban, running on vodka and apocalyptic second coming fantasies.
I think theres a 100% chance they put boots on the ground
[+5] u/ExplosiveDlarrhea69: Moves tomorrow: Half price blowies behind the dumpster at Wendy's
[+5] u/Bichael-Murry: TOMORROW WILL BE BETTER, I AM SURE
[+5] u/hfbvm2: Id argue taking the L and invading when spy was at 660, worst case we end up -5% at 630.
Invading now will just result in -5% from here. Easily drop below 600
[+5] u/Any_Refrigerator2330: SPY 4 days red. So, tomorrow will be green, rigth?
Market is so easy to predict
[+5] u/pooterssssssssss: CNBC STILL hasn't called this a bear market... down 8% in 3 weeks and they're still putting up segments like "How far can the rally go?" lolol...?
[+5] u/Few-Geologist6937: bought puts ol WTI oil.. Did I go full retard?
[+5] u/Ragnaroknight: Buy options for the opposite of what the market does first.
[+5] u/Solid-Season9984: #THE GOLDEN AGE OF AMERICA, MIGHT BE PISS
[+5] u/Inevitable_Pilot1353: Lmao at getting downvoted all last week for selling my entire portfolio
[+5] u/BiblicalAss: is cratering, good ?
[+5] u/Manufactured_feces: Full port USO calls starting tomorrow morning. FUCK IT
[+5] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/Mother___Night made a bet that QQQ would go to 554.60592 within **1 day** when it was 560.208 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 2 wins and 3 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+5] u/AfraidAnalyst: Fight the trend kings, full port calls until it works
[+5] u/Brodieischeese: Bulls, I just wanna thank you for another profitable day of odte puts!
[+5] u/SteveStacks: I had to roll some options today. Sick with myself
[+5] u/Prudent-Leading-8835: Big news!!! Gulf countries dont giv a single fk to America anymore 🤣🤣🤣
Soon America is going to stand alone in middle east with Israel
[+5] u/Used-Bedroom-3763: I love how mango is trying to pump the market but failing
[+5] u/LasyKuuga: How is 1 third world country doing so much. I’ve played Civ before this shit can’t be this hard
[+5] u/Aggressive_Bit_91: Remember 2 weeks ago when MU was 470. Pepperidge farm remembers.
[+5] u/Pretty_Dragonfly_716: Say what you want but at some point GLD is going to moon because of inflation
[+5] u/International_Bee653: The petrodollar? More like the petroyuan am I right?
[+5] u/No_Description_3115: It too all the effort in the world just to keep SPY neutral
[+5] u/patmccock86: I'm looking at bols like Hurley looked at that ref
[+5] u/ballsonreddit: My friend and I used to talk about stocks
But it’s so bloody lately she ignores me
[+5] u/shorty85: Fucking held on to my spy put about 30 minutes too long. Didn’t lose money but could have made a good amount
[+5] u/Any-Camel-9913: will anyone be surprised if SPY drops 25% more
[+5] u/handsome_uruk: Has 48 hours passed yet?
[+5] u/Hwangoutpltr: I need to speak to the manager ❌️
[+5] u/Pale-Silver-8178: Taco is going to have Bessents head on a stake if he doesn't dump oil
[+5] u/Manufactured_feces: Why was the war 99 percent over last week, and this week it is half over?
[+5] u/Test-NetConnection: I'm not convinced Israel or Iran won't pull something. I don't think 🥭 has all that much control over the situation.
[+5] u/Poptart_Salad: Really underwhelming day. I expect heavier selling this week. Strait has been closed over a month now, and no magic words about talks are making it open.
[+5] u/KeTaMiNEanDpEdoZ: Much smaller bump than the last 3 Mondays.
Algos be learning.
[+5] u/millerlit: Since it is turning into a holy war we will see max bombing on Good Friday when the market is closed. Trump will announce it is okay because they will rise on Easter Sunday.
[+5] u/Zipsterino: So uh… is the strait open yet or what?
[+5] u/Acrobatic-Lead-3700: Breaking news : the DOW still below 50000 dollars !
[+5] u/Axonum: taco tuesday incoming
[+5] u/Aggressive_Bit_91: I’m no expert but it would appear we are fuk. But not enough to tank farther because you can’t let the poors make money on the way down. But you also can’t let the regarded knife catchers get capital. Troubling times MMs find themselves in.
[+5] u/No-Improvement3164: Biggest pump and dump market ever.
[+5] u/Retaining-Wall: Y'all beggin for 🌮s but as we saw last night that shit has lost its potency. Market wants to see the real real.
[+5] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: guess it’s another night where I eat a block of Parmesan cheese for dinner
[+5] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: I have a distinct craving for erect penis
[+5] u/ercanbas: There will be absolute tomfoolery tomorrow. Careful buying puts.
[+5] u/kaapooj: watch this video
https://x.com/declassifiedUK/status/2038553025283772498
u will realize this war won't end soon
[+5] u/VisualMod: You already have a bet going - SPY to 610.7189 before 03-Apr-2026 06:35 AM -05
[+5] u/CATLLM: Isn’t $105 per barrel is when the USA and Japan gets liquidated on their oil shorts? Its above $105 right now.
[+5] u/yayahi: How are u guys not making mad money longing oil & shorting tech right now
[+5] u/Excellent_Row8297: “I pity the bool!”
Mr. V
[+5] u/SlightlySmellyRectum: Good thing I'm too poor to trade
[+5] u/jijitalk: Fuck this.... I'm just gonna buy QQQ from now on.... Calls.....
[+5] u/dylanx5150: Some of you complaining about being down 30%, but conveniently forget to mention you only invested $50.
[+5] u/skin_flute_player: This is a win. High oil prices means the poor fat bols will have to use their feet to get to work.
[+5] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: holy fuck Micron is rugging me after hours as well
[+5] u/Twelvesthegreat: Japan is gonna get royally fucked lmao
[+5] u/ddrsdght: Boomers LEARNED that they can WRITE with dramatic flair by CAPITALIZING words RANDOMLY on their keyboards and have since never STOPPED!!
[+5] u/ImLemonized: I lost a lot of money, but tbf I went cash so i want the bleeding to continue. I want to see generational buying opportunities. Call me crazy.
[+5] u/Geoff_Dawmer: One time, I got really wasted and caused a scene at an Enya concert.
[+5] u/zurijer: All the retards that got trapped into buying ADBE and MU.
The PE!!!!
Hold them bags
[+5] u/bemeandnotyou: ABTC is down 90% while Eric the dweeb says : if u don't have the stomach to handle volatility go buy bonds. He made a billion bux, u made -90%. Be on the lookout for his next play so u can up funnel your money like the cuck u are!
[+5] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: The objectively funniest scenario in all this is that DJT was being 100% honest on all of his social media posts about being close to a deal, but it all comes out on Good Friday and no one can make changes to their positions until Monday.
[+5] u/AlarmedPelican: this market is cooked boys pack it up
[+5] u/fish_: not too late for 30dte spy puts tomorrow right? or should i wait for another fake pump before i enter?
[+5] u/skychief99: Oil at $200. Don't worry....its transitory.
[+5] u/Any_Life_6178: 🫵Bols👉 https://wendys-careers.com
[+5] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: Why is SEC not investigating the entities profiteering from last week's pump and dump scheme by taco just before market open?
[+5] u/united_world_1729: What if this is just the beginning?!
[+5] u/BigBattyFatty: Strawberries don't taste the same anymore!!!!
[+5] u/plzplzplztendies: Buy Spy, wen beeg dollah, amerika dollahs.
-Tom Lee
[+5] u/Snowman33001: Man, when sentiment goes south, it goes. Thanks for everything you Orange Fuck
[+5] u/Complex-Video-2202: Please wait a moment margin is calling.
[+5] u/SoloOutdoor: Have you seen the fuckn DOW bitch! Look at what you did!
[+5] u/Far-Requirement9180: “Coffee is for closers only”.
Warren Buffet
[+5] u/Pale-Silver-8178: How is bitcoin not perishing right now? doing its job as a hedge from disaster for once
[+5] u/Candid_Payment_4094: “Bear Stearns is fine” Cramer
[+16] u/Beagle001: Holy hell the Bols were loud last night. Next time there’s two green candles, maybe calm down.
[+15] u/Consistent_Chart_664: SHORT TERM PAIN FOR LONG TERM… PAIN
[+14] u/LongHealth: It’s all pointless.
Just do whatever the fuck you want before you die and have fun.
[+13] u/Beneficial-Sail-6139: WTI reaching $125 will send us into a bear market and $150 into a recession. That’s my two cents
[+13] u/Able_Durian_1832: End this freaking war and make it green
[+12] u/Happy-n-Healthy: Give me one reason why oil will not go to $150
[+12] u/ElectricalClub4875: Nothing bad happen it can only good happen
[+12] u/No_Lobster_1102: I have a feeling most of the bols here are just 🥭fanboys. They don't trade at all
[+11] u/Remarkable_Owl: We’re all about to see some WILD shit in the next 30 days
[+11] u/Naive_Contract_1091: This shit is so depressing
[+10] u/The_Bit_Prospector: cant wait to tell my kids about how the house they live in was bought by betting on the death of the american empire
[+10] u/Urzuck: Oil at 106$ (for now) lol, how can this be sustainable
[+10] u/freeze_god69: Remember 🥭 first term when he would tweet some shit about GYNA and SPY would tank like 4% on a random Tuesday?
This is infinitely worse than that holy shit
[+10] u/GideonWainright: Iran just hit a Kuwait tanker off of AD, potentially releasing a huge oil spill.
PEACE NEGOTIATIONS CONTINUE TO GO WELL. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER REGARDS.
[+10] u/avdvetf: insider trading should have the death penalty, especially during a war
[+10] u/SimpleWire: Not worried about oil prices. I'll just get a bicycle for my 2 hour daily commute.
[+10] u/AgeMiddle854: Bear Stearns is fine!
[+10] u/Colloquial: Bols are you fucking retarded
[+9] u/kim82352: > UKMTO: Oil tanker got hit by an "unknown projectile" off the coast of Dubai.
[+9] u/kinkyhentai69: Russia making bank from selling their oil to finance their war. Thanks 🥭
[+9] u/SimpleWire: You cant be drafted if you're already in the military. Go sign up boys.
[+9] u/undocumented_twerker: The answer is always calls
[+9] u/baadllama_ghost: "buy the dip" is so ingrained at this point that they could probably fleece retards all the way to 0
[+8] u/randompotato375: I exited all my positions and honestly feel like ending it even though i know it doesnt make sense to. Just got married and got greedy. I just need a little push bros
[+8] u/johns2289: It’s simple: we kill the stonk market.
[+8] u/FullCopy: 🥭 never looked at a world map to see where Iran is located in relation to energy supply. Some speculate he used a Games of Throne map. Pete had everything prepared for a land assault on Dorne.
[+8] u/xjollyxgiraffex: I have been converted 🐻
[+8] u/LostandConfused2024: Microsoft dumped right after I bought it AH. A tale as old as time LMAO
[+8] u/confused_teabagger: Now that my puts won't stop printing and I am a confirmed multi-hundredaire, anyone have any recs for a nice tobacco pipe? I have used Missouri Meerschaum corncob pipes but they don't last very long, thinking I am ready to upgrade to something nicer!
[+8] u/SimpleWire: Why not train carrier pigeons to transfer oil in tiny pouches across the strait of hormuz
[+8] u/Old-Collection-224: Markets stayed irrational longer than i could stay regarded ☹️
[+8] u/EquivalentBorn9411: Bessent shorts in trouble.
[+7] u/Careful_Response4694: No one could have ever predicted that another middle eastern war would lead to a long drawn out conflict that raises the price of oil.
[+7] u/Lurk_Maximus: Jesus Christ, scrolling through the thread is a rollercoaster of emotions 😂
[+7] u/legbreaker: If Kegseth is looking for the end of days biblical battle, how does he reach it?
Sending a small group of marines to take Kharg island?
[+7] u/0DTEKing: “JUST IN: Jim Cramer claims oil prices have climaxed.”
Trade accordingly
[+7] u/ismebbb: If I could get one relief green day that'd be great
[+7] u/Fast_Signature7684: but this is. unreal. -1% QQQ AH lol
[+7] u/DCrebuilds: Pump in the morning so i can exit these calls and buy more puts
[+7] u/Fearless-Hat-3272: He would rather burn the whole world down than admit even a grain of fault for anything.
[+7] u/ALittleWorseEveryday: If you’re feeling bad I’ve lost $394,000 since October 2nd -but we’re up 2k today. 83% of my life savings gone -but we’re up 10k this month. My wife has no idea -but her boyfriend lets me watch
[+7] u/shinigami_2245: You say no to bearish positions, juicy j cain’t
[+7] u/Diet_Water: Is it societally acceptable to be a gay 🐻now?
[+7] u/greyenlightenment: update: everything bad.
[+7] u/Revolutionary-Owl766: Can’t stimulate us out of this one
[+7] u/QuantumFreakonomics: What if all of the tankers make a run for it at the same time?
Might as well get out of there right?
[+7] u/Revolutionary-Owl766: So 0dte calls are the new hot potato
[+7] u/botistic: I lost everything but my retardation
[+7] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: He can't just unilaterally end the war lol
[+7] u/Advanced_Divide_4641: Damn I held puts for so long today to make money. No wonder bers are like this.
[+7] u/Extension_Leek_5173: I think one more leg down, all major supports broken and no bull backup.
[+7] u/elcasar: Why doesn't the Boring Company just build a new straight? Are they stupid?
[+7] u/SuspiciousStable9649: You guys would not believe what I just did to a Randy Travis poster.
[+7] u/FullCopy: Bol gang has been processed into patties. 🍔 🍔🍔
[+6] u/Kabrosif: Another Tanker was hit today.
[+6] u/Same_College2053: The war is complete again! Woo every couple hours its complete again.
[+6] u/Straight-Fix-8434: AI has no use case besides AI slop. Everything is going to zero
[+6] u/Awkward-Walk-1500: Micron to $285 tomorrow
[+6] u/The_Bit_Prospector: asians about to send this to the core of the earth
[+6] u/i_simp_f: the WHO recognizes 161 mental illnesses and i have all of them plus a few they haven't even discovered yet
[+6] u/JellyfishLarge3794: Strait is open for rest of the world with toll
[+6] u/confused_teabagger: Which will hit 300 first oil or SPY?
[+6] u/Naive_Contract_1091: Leg down after leg down after leg down…. Nonstop
[+6] u/Slippery-1212: bol are even fkt in AH
[+6] u/Sir_Grindalot: I had 635p that I thought I sold mid session at a small loss. It turns out I must have misslicked the quantity when selling them and only sold one. A few hours later I got a mail from interactive brokers informing me they automatically closed the position selling my remaining puts at 4.67$ for a nearly 3x profit. I'm either a 145 IQ regard or a 65 IQ genius.
[+6] u/xDubnine: If you aren't drinking a shower beer after a pre shower shit, are you even living the American dream?
[+6] u/shortitforever: The Venn diagram of bulls and morons is a perfect circle
[+6] u/techlogger: 0.8^365 or in other words - not much
[+5] u/TyroneSwoopes: $630 is the bottom, right bulls?
[+5] u/Tacosdonahue: we're better at threatening to spank peepees than carrying it out
[+5] u/borrokalaria: CVNA - Carvana - Forward P/E = 28.72
NVDA - NVIDIA Corp - Forward P/E = 14.86
Wall St logic. Selling used cars is a far more elite business than making the chips every AI company on earth is fighting over.
[+5] u/noicedeb8r: I’m tired of this red bro
[+5] u/Critical_Virus_9341: The most obvious -2% day tomorrow?
[+5] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: The indexes are dying by a thousand cuts/drops of -0.25% daily now.. dont expect large drop... just slow bled to death.
[+5] u/claytondpark: So many bers making 💰
[+5] u/boo__radlib: Imagine rolling up to the party with that sour diesel pack, that sweet crude oil, dabbing on these hoes, straight blowing phat fucking clouds of hydrocarbon exhaust, rolling coal on these hoes straight out the Strait.. those were the days man
[+5] u/mugirawraw: My September calls sweating a bit
[+5] u/HG_Tannhaus_: You would think they would fix the algorithms to ignore liars.
[+5] u/alfred250: Zuck might have to give the Winklevoss twins a call for a new idea at this point
[+5] u/_freckles__: Man what is silly is, if you told someone in 1970 that the US market would grow from 1 trillion $ then to 63 trillion dollars in 55 years, they would call you crazy and send you to an asylum. But its true.
Extrapolating, is it possible the stock market will grow 60x again and reach 3,500 trillion dollars in 2075???? Is that even possible. Ming boggling. it sounds as silly as someone saying the stock market will reach 60 trillion by 2025 to someone in 1970.
[+5] u/ThisIsMyRedditAcct20: It’s funny people praise Apple but their Mail app is still awful. Doesn’t download, search is awful.
Thanks 🍎
[+5] u/PublicCheesecake4938: What a fake ass run up before 4
[+5] u/Living-Giraffe4849: I get paid tomorrow and will lose it immediately. Honestly it would be faster if my work just paid JPOW directly
[+5] u/KyleNoThumbs319: Japan starting to look good to me
[+5] u/GuyWaiting4Microwave: Trumps gonna announce a deal, Iran will toll the strait at 2% for the next 3 years and 10% after. Market will shoot, fuck all our puts and we’ll be eating rocks by 2028.
[+5] u/walledisney: I lost 3k today ohwell
[+5] u/NativePlant870: Keep looking. It’ll turn up
[+5] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: Is oil still high af
[+21] u/barkwoofgrrr: For the millionth time - follow the military assets, not what 🥭 says. They are sending all kinds of shit in that direction
[+18] u/CUbuffGuy: Just thinking out loud here, but wouldn’t oil prices stay high if we didn’t reopen the strait lol. Not sure why that’s bullish if we just dip
[+16] u/PlasticBirds: Trump told aides he is willing to end the US military campaign against Iran even if the Strait of Hormuz remains largely closed - WSJ
[+16] u/Play_Background: TRUMP TELLS AIDES HE’S WILLING TO END WAR WITHOUT REOPENING HORMUZ
What a fucking loser
[+16] u/gkdjsl: "I didn't lose the war I started, I chose not to win it"
[+16] u/Upset-Motor-2602: This was probably done to prevent an overnight plunge....
[+15] u/primalmarket: You Either die a bull, or trade long enough to see yourself become a bear.
[+14] u/Throwaway18987987: At this rate, Christmas is already canceled.
[+14] u/Illimited_Esoterica: Fully loaded Kuwaiti oil tanker got hit in the port of Dubai. Is currently on fire and possibly leaking oil into the port. Jfc.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.aljazeera.com/amp/news/liveblog/2026/3/31/iran-war-live-kuwaiti-oil-tanker-hit-in-dubai-port-3-un-troops-killed
[+14] u/Significant_Speed854: Al Jazeera: Oil Tanker hit in the port of Dubai
WSJ: 🥭 debating pulling out
Guess which one is cooked?
[+13] u/Dizzy-Green-3188: People killing people people dying
Bols hurt can hear them cryin
Can you taco on a tweet
Or will you turn the other cheek
[+13] u/disrepaired: Made 2.9k today on puts and my boss has the audacity to ask why I don’t pay attention at work
[+13] u/Key-Chemistry7151: I got a job to hedge my atrocious trading abilities
[+13] u/killcon84: > start a war on another country
> it doesn't go well
> just give up without elaboration
> invaded country is now even more stronger than before we attacked them
Art of the deal
[+13] u/CUbuffGuy: Thinking about not closing the strait is a funny way to say you can't open it lol
[+13] u/HFB_To_You: Why would anyone believe a word WSJ, Trump, "sources close-to" etc. say.
He and his crew are psychopathic arch-deceivers.
Nice little new quarter / holiday week rally, then they'll be back to it. Play the market they give you.
[+13] u/k3t4mine: Easily the most prestige damaging, humiliating geopolitical defeat in American history, at least since Vietnam, and it may even top that considering Iran wasn't fully backed by another superpower.
Best parallel is the Suez Crisis where Britain failed to control and keep open the Suez Canal, and were forced to withdraw, losing their status as a great power in the process.
[+12] u/Extreme_Green_1708: You gotta wonder if there is actually a play at this point. Did they not have intel that Iran would just kamikaze oil? They had literally nothing to lose, their country is already falling apart with a dead economy
[+12] u/horseisahorse: >BREAKING: Trump has told aides he is willing to 'end the U.S. military campaign against Iran even if the Strait of Hormuz remains largely closed', according to Wall Street Journal report.
>[8:44 PM · Mar 30, 2026](https://x.com/spectatorindex/status/2038779482035864059)
[+12] u/No-Put2311: “BREAKING: Trump has told aides he is willing to 'end the U.S. military campaign against Iran even if the Strait of Hormuz remains largely closed', according to Wall Street Journal report.”
How is this bullish lmfao
[+12] u/Regular_King_4157: We pumped on fake news that we are thinking of getting out. This is opening 1-2% down when we realize that this was just more bs.
[+12] u/QuartersToPlay: So Iran controls oil flow and you guys are screaming victory? Yall know what the petrodollar is right? Lol yeah but sure pack up and give Iran exclusive control of the strait.
[+12] u/No-Put2311: One of the most disastrous geopolitical headlines pops out and the algos pump it lol
[+12] u/Ok-Adeptness6444: FUCKING HELL WHY IS MARKET SO GULLIBLE
[+12] u/A_Chair_Bear: Media leaks: “I’m thinking of ending it guys”
Truth Social: “Look at this tactical nuke”
[+12] u/dash_trash4255: WSJ: Greta Thunberg to operate the sole tollbooth at the straight of Hormuz.
[+11] u/jonneh: This is what’s causing the spike in futes
###
> **WSJ**: “President 🥭 told aides he's willing to end the U.S. military campaign against Iran even if the Strait of Hormuz remains largely closed, administration officials said, likely extending Tehran's firm grip on the waterway and leaving a complex operation to reopen it for a later date.”
[+11] u/hermeskino715: End war without opening Hormuz? I feel like the markets are forgetting the key part
#Without
#opening
#Hormuz
[+11] u/Borderpotroll: “It takes courage to be a pig” I say, after my third glass of wine, 2 appetizers, an entrée, 2 sides and a dessert. “Be greedy when others are fearful”, as my mother in law watches in horror.
[+11] u/Aware-Teacher5389: Remember when ships could pass through
Hormuz for free prior to the war?
[+11] u/No_Relief_8705: 🥭 will drip feed fake news to try and prop the market up while it's just fucking dying on the bigger chart
[+11] u/f0xinaround: Don't you dare leave your loved ones behind. Not worth it to traumatize everyone around you. Things will get better bro. Just have patience.
[+11] u/MrT_IDontFeelSoGood: Less fight for Iran, more see 🥭 have consequences for his terrible decisions
[+10] u/Few_Egg3567: There's a bunch of retards huddled in a room at the Treasury desperately trying to keep this above 630
[+10] u/RoninKnight17: Holy market manipulation
[+10] u/Mahrgell2: So unconditional surrender it is? Nice one!
[+10] u/k3t4mine: Threatening to commit war crimes if the Strait isn't opened immediately, then 12 hours later saying you'd be willing end the war without opening it. International diplomacy at its finest.
[+10] u/Bigamungus: Confirmed US won't be opening Hormuz is bullish?
[+10] u/No_Relief_8705: So he told some minions that he doesn't care if the #1 objective of this war is not completed? And this is bullish news?? Something doesn't add up
[+10] u/Evening_Following802: Spy going to .50 cents tomorrow
[+10] u/PuzzledLeader8941: How is this bullish lol
[+10] u/ApathysLastKiss_: GREEN FUTURES?! ALLAHU AKBAR
[+10] u/Datsyuk131313: As a permabull I still think we're red tomorrow. Just too used to the pain at this point.
[+10] u/WoodooRanger: Relax, it will be red again in 15 minutes
[+10] u/No-Put2311: Inventing new potent TACO variants since the old stuff lost its effects
[+10] u/Bigamungus: Same thing thats been going on numb nuts
[+9] u/MrT_IDontFeelSoGood: lol so he’s going to do one last flashy operation, piss them off more, and then retreat and pretend it’s over
Strait stays closed or heavily under Iranian control with fees going forward. Iran and Israel fight until Iran overwhelms Israel’s defenses. We either abandon Israel or are forced back in to defend them. But either way Iran doesn’t go for full destruction bc Israel has nukes.
Oil stays above 100 during all of that. Inflation and possible recession ensues.
WINNING
[+9] u/One-Royal-2510: Gulf states have contributed 10% of all US private equity investments...
[+9] u/HeftyTNVols: It’s almost Easter celebrating Jesus rising from the dead and maybe my portfolio will rise from the dead too 🙏🌷
[+9] u/pumpkin1986: Regretting cashing out my weeklies end of day….
[+9] u/AirportMaterial5917: can't he tell we're tired of this, just end the damn thing
[+9] u/RickLeeTaker: Nothing. I have no moves for tomorrow. I no longer know what to do.
[+9] u/borgeris: Trump Tells Aides He’s Willing To End War Without Reopening Hormuz – WSJ
[+9] u/rixxxand: If this is real, ending the war with Iran in control of the Straits means the end of the petrodollar. Literally the worst thing that could economically happen to america.
But please celebrate making $400 in calls
[+9] u/holymolyratio: lmao US is not pulling out, the fakest of the market pumps i’ve ever heard of
[+9] u/HoustonHous: Where are you guys seeing any of this?
[+9] u/gkdjsl: This is the most unpopular war in modern US history, it's a non-starter to send in ground troops, and to do what? Every day the goals change, one day it's to occupy Kharg like it's a fucking CS map, the other to steal 1000 lb of enriched uranium.
Just eat the L 🥭 and spin it as a victory for the remaining 25-30% die hard geriatric boomer / Gen X fans you still have.
[+9] u/StonksInvesteur: Bro just posted a video of Iran being bombed and algo pumped the fuck out of the market smh
[+9] u/Joey-Cap: Im more confused than Joe at this point
[+9] u/HaveTwoBananas: What the fuck bullshit is this
[+9] u/ramdomvariableX: So the usual pre-mkt pump, then mkt dump for tomorrow?
[+9] u/LongCucumber3710: What kind of convoluted whisper taco is this
[+8] u/Haunting-Window-5125: Just absolutely insane TACO still pumps even after a year of "trade deals around the corner" LMAO
I mean just last week he said there would be a ceasefire reached this weekend lol
[+8] u/ElephantFriendly: Should we get those SPY 600 hats outta storage?
[+8] u/Creative-Package6213: LOL gulf countries are pushing Trump to invade Iran...yeah this ain't even close to being over.
[+8] u/Mr-Lungu: War ends when Iran decides it ends. 🥭 will learn that soon
[+8] u/Gristle__McThornbody: Going into Iran to extract Uranium sounds like something out of a movie.
[+8] u/Excellent_Gap8808: How is it pumping when he said strait stays closed
[+8] u/SuperSix: i need Iran to make another post on how i should be investing for this week for real
[+8] u/AideApprehensive7441: US is absolutely desperate to end this conflict I would not be surprised if they abandoned trying to open the strait question how much oil will flow and how will market react
[+8] u/Iknowyougotsole: Blowin up tankers is bullish
[+8] u/Positive_Bid5596: We r fuk
Gas buddy national avg at $4
[+8] u/Jackfitton12: Why is SPY skyrocketing rn lol
[+8] u/twostroke1: **WE ARE SO FUCKIN BACK**
(I have zero idea what everyone is talking about)
[+8] u/Awuxy: Tanker got hit in the strait and we pumped? That's. Retarded.
[+8] u/voidedhip: I’m listening to my financial ayatollah and buying puts at open
[+7] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: This would be a lot more fun if we weren’t fucked
[+7] u/Throwaway18987987: “Futes were flat a couple hours ago, let me see if anything has happe-
OH MY GOD” 😱😳😲
[+7] u/Long_Dong_Silver6: https://preview.redd.it/hdf6qrhhx9sg1.png?width=2816&format=png&auto=webp&s=1346f5ff706c1dbb14d065d8aa3f0a5aa9108910
[+7] u/dirtyvegan: **Just as bearhunter429 predicted LMAO 🤌**
[+7] u/NonsensicalWorries: Let me get this straight, we radicalized Iran's leadership, bombed a school, got told to eat shit from our former allies, gave Iran dominance over the straight of hormuz, then just gave up?
[+7] u/jda823: But most importantly, what does all this mean for AMC stocks? 🤔
[+7] u/blumpkinspatch: THE WARS BEEN OVER FOR WEEKS WHAT IS EVERYONE DOING FOR FUCKS SAKE
[+7] u/FloppyButtholeJelly: Oil is dropping because of low volume after hours market manipulation. It will rise again tomorrow
[+7] u/Full-Cardiologist589: This spiking on how he will end the war without opening the strait is the dumbest fucking thing I've ever seen. Samething, it will spike and then bleed into Easter since he has no fucking plan.
[+7] u/Kindly_Tackle_4685: Oil shows this spy ah pump is faker then my mom's love
[+7] u/gamblingman777: Can't believe people think leaving the strait closed is going to be good for the economy. Also I imagine the admin is getting their asses handed to them by the Saudis right now.
[+7] u/puffinnbluffin: This is seriously fucking madness at this point. The damage is done and a few tweets aren’t gonna fix this. Even pulling out 100% right now isn’t gonna fix this. I can’t believe this is reality
[+7] u/AegonTheMeh: New from the WSJ
> President Trump told aides he’s willing to end the U.S. military campaign against Iran even if the Strait of Hormuz remains largely closed, administration officials said, likely extending Tehran’s firm grip on the waterway and leaving a complex operation to reopen it for a later date.
> In recent days, Trump and his aides assessed that a mission to pry open the chokepoint would push the conflict beyond his timeline of four to six weeks. He decided that the U.S. should achieve its main goals of hobbling Iran’s navy and its missile stocks and wind down current hostilities while pressuring Tehran diplomatically to resume the free flow of trade. If that fails, Washington would press allies in Europe and the Gulf to take the lead on reopening the strait, the officials said.
https://www.wsj.com/world/middle-east/trump-iran-war-strait-of-hormuz-ee950ad4
[+7] u/PretendAgency2702: Mango is purposely trolling everyone now and playing 6d chess. There's no way he attacks, fucks shit up for everyone, and then folds right? He's the largest loser ever
[+7] u/Jumpinmycar: I just realized something!! There’s so much more down in front of us! We all have plenty, plenty, plenty of time to short it together!!!
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
[+7] u/GuyFaulks77: How is allowing the strait to stay closed a good thing
[+7] u/Sekshual_Tyranosauce: Sure. That and America Online.
[+6] u/Time_Independence355: Can't wait for Bessent to get short squeezed on his OIL short position
[+6] u/Haunting-Window-5125: If you want to understand how truly retarded the market is, oil is dropping because trump said we might pull out of Iran without opening the strait...
[+6] u/TheOriginalBushToad: Iranian leaders believe they'll be met with 100 virgins after death. They're not surrendering shit...
[+6] u/bilyl: Does he understand that if the strait remains closed oil prices won’t go down? That gas prices will stay high?
[+6] u/pumpkin1986: What we got here is a good ol fashioned pickle
[+6] u/Paincoast89: If Trump backs out of Iran, and Hormuz stays closed were still screwed guys, just less troop death lol
[+6] u/MakeResonableChoices: What if this is all to set up the most diabolical April fools prank of all times
[+6] u/cloud_cafe: Temu drones vs 6 trillion defense missiles
[+6] u/_Rexfest_: If you think this pump will hold then you’re a fucking REGARD
[+6] u/MagneticRetard: can't tell if real TACO or fake TACO before ground invasion
[+5] u/Revolver_Lanky_Kong: Wear some nice shoes so I can go graverobbin
[+5] u/danyallah_: When Iran lays mines at least I won’t have to listen to dumb bulls anymore
[+5] u/pumpkin1986: Are the boggleheads selling yet? That’s always my buy signal
[+5] u/purtatoes: Some twenty something kid just walked into my apartment, he was looking for his friend. Cant say im not a little frazzled. Ive realized ive tried a neighbors door once thinking it was my own, so I get it. I guess he could have been trying to rob me, but I doubt it.
[+5] u/AquamDeus: Wait, i thought puts were just for downside protection?
[+26] u/Loose_Stool_12: Lol, WTF?!?! The market is inexplicably jumping on the prospect that Hormuz remains closed...only to leave energy poised to break record prices???
MAKE THIS MAKE SENSE! 🤡🤯🤡🤯🤡
[+22] u/Chlo-Motion: Within 1 year 🥭 has nuked my portfolio -50%, twice. Absolute legend
[+21] u/caliwillbemine: -Kuwaiti tanker hit by a drone and on fire: doesn’t matter
-Rumor that Trump is cool with abandoning Iran without reopening Hormuz: bullish af
[+20] u/timetopractice: Oil back down to prices not seen since noon 😲😳😮
[+18] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: He literally was talkin bout blowing up all of their water sources not 3 hours ago I believe he is actually beginning to short circuit
[+18] u/ignatious__reilly: This is all manipulative bullshit. He’s going to flip flop.
My friend got his deployment papers over the weekend. He has to be in Kuwait in 14 days, no joke.
[+17] u/SxeySteve: Today's fake pump operation failed so they're launching a second wave on futes rn
[+16] u/codespyder: Cancelling my Netflix subscription because these aftermarket and overnight moves are far more entertaining
[+16] u/The_Madman1: At open it dumps slowly like yesterday. So obvious
[+15] u/ignatious__reilly: “President Donald Trump told aides that he was willing to end the military hostilities in the Middle East even if the Strait of Hormuz remains largely shut, the Wall Street Journal reported.”
“Willing”………that doesn’t mean a damn thing
[+15] u/prana_fish: Bulls are seriously gonna,
yet again,
fall for an overnight low liquidity pump, only to,
yet again,
get rug pulled in regular session.
[+15] u/imunfair: It'll be incredibly embarrassing for Trump if he declares mission accomplished and leaves with the strait still closed and no nuclear material handed over. I doubt that WSJ report that he might do that is accurate - if anything this is a head-fake for his upcoming invasion plans.
Futures are reacting positively to the "leak" but it seems implausible to me.
[+14] u/cheetles_plus: The permabulls here have to be bots right?
Literally two minutes of research would inform any competent trader that both Iran AND Israel won’t let 🥭 TACO even if he really wanted to
[+14] u/Maximum-Cash7103: If we truly leave it is beyond embarrassing.
[+14] u/smoop86: -3% by open tomorrow
[+14] u/lSazedl: Something tells me this guy might be lying to keep the market afloat
[+14] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: We aren't moving all of those assets over there for nothing. This is another desperate cry for help to save the markets
[+14] u/parallelogramm3r: Has anything changed?
|
|
/ \
|. |
Yes No
/ \
| |
Buy puts Buy more puts
[+13] u/Open_Waltz6902: LOL declare "victory" by saying he destroyed Iran's missile capabilities , then blame NATO for Strait remaining closed. All while Barron's portfolio rockets . Well played 🥭
[+13] u/myboywears: Ofc bulls are gonna fall for it though
[+13] u/ignatious__reilly: If the war is really over…..
Only one person is making that announcement and that’s Trump
He will allow no one else, especially not Hegseth
8am briefing tomorrow ain’t shit
[+13] u/LarsTarkas: Now I understand. 🥭 Is using overnight as exit liquidity
[+13] u/All_FIREdUp: https://preview.redd.it/75rdkncviasg1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c93aeb1213ae878c29a87e382715365929f0a5a4
How we got in this fuckin mess
[+13] u/Quick1711: For anyone buying what is leaking, you’re all moron if you believe this.
[+13] u/ThinCrusts: OMG how gullible the news and market is nothing changed lol
[+13] u/AlpacaDream7: I’m ready to be fooled for the 10th time
[+13] u/Maximum-Cash7103: So to recap:
Oil tanker hit in Dubai; 3 UN troops dead.
US and Israel hit large ammunition depot in Iran
Trump aide reports that he is “considering” ending war without opening the Straight and WSJ publishes it. Market pumps?
Unsure how:
1.) The war is remotely over
2.) Oil crisis ends; No straight = no oil or at the very least a deficit.
Bols r fuk
[+12] u/zuziannka: This is all fake until the market opens
[+12] u/sonianevermindX: 🥭gives up “YEAH THATS MY PRESIDENT”
[+12] u/Sengle473: Uh how you going to end a war if the other side said no??
[+12] u/ignatious__reilly: No one knows anything
If this was confirmed, futures would be +1,500
[+12] u/x2manypips: It’s going to be straight down from here. Boomers are going to get out to save their retirement
[+12] u/lSazedl: Hope we open bigly green so I can go all in on puts
[+12] u/Top_Cockroach313: There literally turning military strategy into headlines.
There are a number of options
Were not leaving without that oil
[+12] u/log1ck1717: Im not convinced about this pump, I have a feeling we will still see some selling on Thursday going into the weekend.
[+12] u/softboiledjadepotato: Chat GPT be like,
"oh you're right, I didn't see there is a recent WSJ article that would explain the after hours pump. Considering your interest in Pauly Shore 1990s films..."
[+11] u/Evolve86: Leaving without opening the strait, Iran gets to charge a toll but oil volume through it resumes close to pre war normal. Most sources report that Iran charge up to 2 million per ship, largest oil transport ships carries around 2 million barrels, which only adds $1 per barrel to the price. bullish?
[+11] u/spudbro00: Going to be hilarious when this war actually does end and it gets a relief bounce for a few days and then just starts drilling again
[+11] u/Single-Adeptness-769: That fucking headline sent futures surging??? Oh boy we’re circuit breaking tomorrow for fucking shore.
[+11] u/JakeSal10: This mf literally said 36 hours ago a ground operation was not out of the question
[+11] u/softboiledjadepotato: man, just tell me what happened. Don't make me scroll Truth Social
[+11] u/pinghing: >be president
>Make comment at 9 PM
>Illiquid AF
>Coincide comment with a sudden liquidity rush
>Market realizes nothing really changed
>Have the market dump during open
[+11] u/ignatious__reilly: Trump is absolutely trying to keep this market propped up prior to the 3 day weekend
Make no mistake
[+11] u/aa73gc: So the market is just a lottery ticket on the whim of a tweet. Cool
[+11] u/I_work_too_much: I don't give a fuck if we open +5% tomorrow, shit will be red by end of day. You know it, I know, Trump knows it, and your fucking mom knows it. Christ I'm fucking sick of this stupid shit already.
[+11] u/iFunnyImmigrant: We really pumping on secondhand tacos now?
[+11] u/Equivalent-Quail138: Pretty crazy that as soon as a senile old man chickens out, a foreign nation collecting a $2 million/ship toll is going to give in to the spirit of free commerce, destroyed LNG production is going to come online overnight, petroleum reserves will be refilled, fertilizer and helium will be delivered at bargain prices, everyone will return to their expensive real estate and business commitments in the gulf countries, over a million Lebanese people will return to the homes they were displaced from and we'll all hold hands and hum, laughing about how wacky this little excursion was. Silly bears.
[+10] u/Thunder_Thighs: https://preview.redd.it/my9q4986basg1.jpeg?width=438&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b5a2ca173e30777ad72d2f95f32173299007b3f
[+10] u/big_chestnut: fake pump it's always fake, trust
[+10] u/ignatious__reilly: This is a ruse I think
I don’t believe this at all.
[+10] u/SovietPower777: Anyone believes this orange regard?
[+10] u/Necessary-Lychee-486: This is the dumbest timeline. How is the market this easy to manipulate. Guess I'm buying more puts at open.
[+10] u/One_Confidence_7069: So did US just go to kill those school girls then?
[+10] u/Known-Presentation49: Don't fall for it guys. He realized he can't involve Iran in his TACOs so he is coming up with TACOs that don't depend on their input to fake pump the market.
[+10] u/Odd-Spray5046: 6 weeks ago:
Strait open, no tolls
Today:
Strait closed, 2m trump tax
Win?
[+10] u/Dry_Bar_4965: Market Wizard Barron Trump was able to buy SPY and short Oil before the news came out tonight. He's a genius!!!
[+10] u/Successful-End7689: Doubled gas prices and installed a younger Khamenei
What a colossal fuckup 😭
[+10] u/AugyCeasar: Fading already is crazy. The real ceasefire announcement wont do nything until iran says something
[+10] u/JPenniman: My guess is 🥭 intentionally leaked that to gauge how the market reacts. If it doesn’t have its intent, he is gonna go all in.
[+10] u/ignatious__reilly: Do you guys really think Trump would allow Hegseth to break the news the war is over?
No way.
[+10] u/GoogleKushforLunch: Doesn’t work anymore
[+10] u/MrDinglehut: Iran hit a fully laden Kuwaiti oil tanker in the anchorage area of Dubai’s port, damaging the hull and starting a fire on board.
[+9] u/Waiting4Reccession: \>Hegseth’s broker at banking giant Morgan Stanley contacted BlackRock in February about making a multimillion-dollar investment in its iShares Defense Industrials Active ETF.
\>However, the investment discussed by Hegseth’s broker did not ultimately go ahead.
When you have the insider trade but youre too retarded to do it right. Fucking trying to buy the etf instead of going big on a leveraged play was already dumb, but then he didnt go through with it?! LMAO
[+9] u/Fkn1v1mem8: You retards are really gonna fall for it again?
[+9] u/tcmart14: They gotta pump tonight and maybe a little tomorrow to get retail to come in for bags before they take it below 620 Thursday.
[+9] u/smellyfingernail: 15th day in a row of “war is over!” Headline and 15th day in a row the market falls for it
[+9] u/GenesGeniesJeans: 🥭 wsj leak, pick one:
1) Helping Bussy-boy Bessent out with his oil short.
2) If euros won’t help out in the Hormuz, we’ll take our ball and go home. Let them clean up our mess. That’ll show em.
3) Smartest guys in the room, they’ll never see it coming, WR screen on 3rd and 12-level regardium: marines are on their way and this is a shitshow of a misdirection play.
[+9] u/Nicht-die-Mamer: And u guys are really buying now? hahaha
[+9] u/Complex-Algae-4214: 🥭 opened Pandoras Box and is like later 😎
[+9] u/Quick1711: 10 k troops in the area and it leaks that he wants to pull out? What man has *ever* wanted to pull out this close to climax?
[+9] u/ClearResident1292: Bro realized his truths were getting ignored so he told his “aide” to say some bs
[+9] u/UnivalveX: bro could tweet we lost the war and this shit would still pump +2% lmao
[+9] u/gomper: This pump will be faded by 10:30 tomorrow morning
[+9] u/nolanjp: So if iran have full control of the strait, what's stopping them from getting rid of the petrodollar?
[+9] u/rocier: wow this very real tiny pump will certainly last and get you all your money back bols.
[+9] u/noaholic: Go there, fuck everything up, create a huge mess in the region and leave like you have nothing to do with that
[+9] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Mr tough guy literally trying to pussy out
[+9] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: WSJ scoop came from little known individual tonald drump through their tip line
[+9] u/No_Fig_7835: Can’t wait for this war to be over so we can go back to our failing economy
[+8] u/Disconn3cted: We're going to pump without addressing the actual underlying problem that caused the dump in the first place. Don't trust it
[+8] u/Leather_Floor8725: Market thinks Iran will just open straight if Mango tacos, even without getting any of their other conditions.
[+8] u/XeroShyft: Of course this happens the day I go all in on puts before close
[+8] u/Fuzzy-Monk-7520: trump policy - make iran great again. now every country pays toll
[+8] u/Individual_Error_428: Elevator down, tiny 2 inch flaccid cock up
[+8] u/diefy7321: Dude is moving markets on something he probably said while taking a chet and an aide overheard lmfao
[+8] u/Bonkers119: Did I miss something? Why is oil going down?
[+8] u/superhappykid: Lol futures aren't even up 1%. This shit is going to bleed down. If the war was truly over or if the news was actually legit and the future traders believed it you would see 3% across the board.
[+8] u/ev01ution: What a 🤡. Declare victory and keep the strait closed. It’s going to raise prices for us too. Wtf is the point of the war?
[+8] u/jasperCrow: The funny thing is. The issue as it pertains to markets isn’t a bout the *WAR*. It’s about the price of oil. Mango abandoning the mission has nothing to do with bringing the price of oil down truthfully.
[+7] u/Dry_Shirt7120: Did he say we won the war again?
[+7] u/SHHFC: Trump pumping the markets for another dump again? Classic
[+7] u/AdjustDeezNutz: Big ups to that one guy that said to buy calls for 3/31 for reasons he can't disclose.
[+7] u/apex_17: I can’t believe we are pumping off some BS WSJ article and a video tweet of something random and unidentified blowing TF up
[+7] u/Thecreamcheeze: 🥭 wants to burn the markets down
[+7] u/Squirr3I: WTF HAPPENED all I see on truth social is a video of something blowing up.
[+7] u/Life-Trade-6514: I havent seen oil this low since \*checks notes\*, this morning.
[+7] u/unwanted_hair: I made taco salad. It was delicious.
Tomorrow will be red AF.
[+6] u/jayxmor: Didn’t the Iran guy tell us that this shit is all just for a pump LMAO
[+18] u/issurvey: Start a war with the strait open and leave the war with strait closed. Art of the deal
[+16] u/BullfrogLevel2087: Im going to say it because the burgers wont - ending the war without the strait being open is death to the petro dollar and US dominance in the middle east. China takes over. 🥭 might have just ended the empire.
[+16] u/2PacAn: If this holds till open tomorrow will be a great time to load up on puts
[+15] u/sunshine20005: Futures are remarkably stupid on this
Strait of Hormuz not going to reopen just because we say the war over. Granted, I like this idea because the faster the war is over the better and none of our boys should be dying so Europe can have oil. But the economic shock will remain. It’s not like the market is dropping because we’re bombing Iran (who gives a shit about that). The market is dropping because the strait is closed. And if 🥭 tacos out like this, the strait is going to stay closed.
I predict we get a bounce for a day or two but then resume drilling as reality sets in.
[+15] u/Alestasis: 🥭 willing to end war per “report”. Vibes trading at its finest
[+15] u/your-missing-mom: Why we green boys? My puts r fucked. Did the war end?
[+15] u/SHUT_DOWN_EVERYTHING: Mango is not moving 50,000 troops in to get a tan. He's gonna deploy them no matter the risk to troops to get some sort of "win" before getting out, assuming he even could get out.
This pump based on the "report" is as fake as the prior 10.
[+15] u/Impressive-Mud-3362: Is there anyone in this administration, who is not corrupt as fuck. Everyday you hear about some new insider trading bullshit, now I want in also.
[+14] u/GelatinGhost: So wait, is market pumping just because WSJ is rehashing 🥭 's post from this morning? Did they actually say anything new?
[+14] u/John-AtlasGames: So this WSJ news is just what Time ran at 3:30 this afternoon? https://time.com/article/2026/03/30/white-house-signals-trump-doesn-t-require-strait-of-hormuz-reopend-to-ready-to-end-iran-war/
[+13] u/ssaxamaphone: The US is just gonna leave huh. Yes. Of course netanyahu would allow that. /s
[+13] u/OkResponsibility2470: The funniest part is people really believed “kill the ayatollah = regime change” like this is a Paradox event chain.
There is no clean follow-up here. Invading Iran by ground is psychotic, “just leave” makes U.S. power look hollow, and every remaining option is some mix of expensive, humiliating, and destabilizing. Total clown show.
[+13] u/Vihurah: yeah uh, bullshit? we're invading Iran, and we're reopening Hormuz, not bc he wants to but because the whole executive will get liquidated if they pussy out now. the go/no go was already decided when they moved troops into theater, and there's too much sunk cost. futes are green until they bleed
[+12] u/PlayerPlayer69: This pump seems… too good to be true.
Trump is supposedly telling his aides that’s he’s willing to pull out without opening the strait.
Yeah. Uh uh. Okayyyy.
I expect shit to dump by tomorrow.
[+12] u/unikuenobody: I just wanted to remind you that even though you lost a lot of money. And even though things look bad and the future is scary. Forget those bad decisions and lost relationships. Dropping out of college, quitting that job, and that car accident. Those addictions you developed. Even though all of that happened, remember, if you keep playing options, it will get much worse.
[+12] u/These-Shoulder8017: Market is more retarded than Mango man.
[+11] u/BooBrew32: Mango now: I'm thinking of ending the war.
Mango tomorrow: I'm sending every single American to Iran to fight this war.
[+11] u/Shortify: If they pump it, short it. If they dump it, go long.
You know the drill.
[+11] u/Deep-Ad-8525: Wsj is in the files.
[+11] u/F1No47: It's just market manipulation. No way he's withdrawing cmon.
[+11] u/Neat_Weird_2240: "i couldnt care less if the strait open or not. but the allies, oh the allies, UK EU and the arabs, they are begging me for it to be opened. they want to make a deal. so, we have to go in to save them. we are strong."
watch. 🤡
[+11] u/Usedillusion7: If you log onto wsj you will read 4 negative stories about the war before stumbling over this headline. Fun times.
[+10] u/SaaSGrass: Angry ber lecturing about fake pump
[+10] u/jraiv420: MM not even waiting for open to rug this fake pump 😂
[+10] u/mdh1119: one of the funniest fucking things I've read today
[https://x.com/haramcart/status/2038754781682892898/photo/3](https://x.com/haramcart/status/2038754781682892898/photo/3)
[+10] u/Micheal_Hancho: Looks like we have Ayatollbooth for the foreseeable future 🫴💰🚢
[+10] u/Col_Treize69: That... doesn't solve the underlying problem?
[+9] u/Potential-Plum7187: Bers won’t be able to sleep tonight 😂
[+9] u/DinkinFlickka: Imagine being in the Pentagon and reading that we are gonna quit and let Iran win
[+9] u/Soossaaaa: Iranian stock guy is 1/1 so far
[+9] u/kryptonyk: Imposing a toll on a straight that you only control one side of is crazzzyyyy.
[+9] u/Waste-Head7963: Trump Tells Aides He’s Willing to End War Without Reopening Hormuz.
Administration officials assess that forcing the waterway back open would mean extending the military mission.
🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
[+9] u/hoopaholik91: So let me get this straight. The US might pull out of an Iran war. Which would leave the Middle East on fire with implicit permission for Iran to control all traffic through the Strait of Hormuz.
And this is a good thing?!?
[+9] u/breakthebookie: This pump is fake. All trump did was off hand tell
His aides he’d end war for opening the strait.
Iran also blew up a Kuwaiti oil tanker two hrs ago in port. This conflict is not de escalating
[+9] u/Unlikely_Proof_7772: I know the war is a terrible situation but this market brought me back to you regards. Love yall stay safe ❤️
[+8] u/BeaverSack: This news is fake. This news is ghey.
[+8] u/Common_Ad_3059: The playbook is the same, 🥭 declare victory only for the candle to crash again for puts
[+7] u/good-times-: Thank you for your guesses
[+7] u/radishr: Try making a round box.
[+7] u/PocaMadre69: No way they’re really gonna let us get a bunch of cheap 0DTE puts again tomorrow are they??
Can’t believe this pump but tbh can’t believe most of them
[+7] u/IJustWantaQuietLife1: Cmon you regards, yall don’t know a fake pump when you see one. Dw it’ll sell off into open tomorrow
[+7] u/greg_r_: If you bought $1000 worth of SPY the day Charlie got kirked, you'd have $997 worth of SPY today.
[+7] u/Ambitious-Anything87: Yo WTF is happening, WSB is now my daily news, so someone better get to reporting
[+7] u/Horcsogg: So the 50k troops went there for no reason, Iran's nuclear plans were not halted, and on top of that Iran will be allowed to charge a mil or two for each passing ship?
That's what the US incursion achieved? lol
[+7] u/ManBearPig_1983: My moves tomorrow? Probably try and suck my own dick.
[+6] u/SinStockGuy: So we're hauling all those warthogs over there to not blow up any tanks, eh? Ok.
[+6] u/edgaralanbro1: at this point, bring on the astrophage
[+6] u/TheScourgeOfHumanity: Yes please pump it up so i can buy puts again
[+6] u/SVXYstinks: How is this bullish?
[+6] u/Erevoss: Literally the most ignorable headline ever
[+6] u/Live_Paper8680: we gonna get a mission accomplished announcement at 8am tomorrow
[+6] u/BeepBoopDep: Mu down 30% since March 18th, wild 😂
[+6] u/BoomerSharkBoy: Bers holding puts overnight be panicking rn
[+5] u/xxkupkakexx: wait til these hopium "BER FUK" in this sub find out the diff between what physical oil is priced at currently around most of the world compare to digitally on the chart and WHEN...not IF...it catches up to the chart...you gonna get front row seat in front of your screen to look at your call losing premium faster than the time it takes for you to put the fries in the bag while you die a little everyday on the inside hoping for "maybe it will bounce back tomorrow" that never comes all the way til your expiration cause buying the dip doesn't work anymore in a real bear market when things don't just V back every time for you to post gain porn on spy call.
TLDR...cash is a position...buy when it cross above the 200 MA again...its THAT simple...you're welcome
[+25] u/oldsguy65: "We have won the war and I have negotiated a great rate on the tolls American ships will pay to pass through the Strait. An unbelievable price."
"But it used to be free, Sir."
"Quiet, Piggy. You're a stupid reporter who works for a terrible network and no wonder your ratings are terrible."
[+21] u/youreaditfirst: Wtf is happening. We cant just say the war is over and we leave and all we did was kill their leaders and blow their shit up. Imagine your neighbor killing your pets and setting your car on fire and leaving with without power and telling you he is done. Lmao
[+15] u/WSB-mods-are-: "And that's when your grandad bought SPY puts the night of March 30th, 2026 to hold overnight. Single-handedly both ending a war, and starting the biggest bull market run in history!"
[+14] u/cruisin_urchin87: You know how I know the pump is fake? None of the Beta stocks budged.
[+14] u/hypeaze: Puts continue to appear to be free money.
[+13] u/ArsonDub: Mango is such a bundle of sticks
[+13] u/Tropicalfisher: *starts a random unnecessary war*
*strait is blockaded, global oil prices skyrockets, possible global recession on the horizon*
*🌮 and leaves without reopening the strait*
🗿
[+13] u/jsie-iaiqhsi816278: kegseth with an 8am est war presser tomorrow
what are the odds hes drunk that early in the morning
[+12] u/Spy300: >FOREIGN CENTRAL BANKS SELL US TREASURIES IN WAKE OF IRAN WAR
✅️
[+12] u/crossdefaults: Maybe it's time different pedophiles take over the US.
[+12] u/mrmagootoyou2: I cannot see how this doesn't go down as America's biggest fuck up if this doesn't get fixed in a month
[+12] u/Frosty_Promise8050: Mangos bullshit is becoming remarkably vulnerable to reality, all of a sudden....
[+11] u/Ceyenne18: bears seem to want more blood to pump their puts
[+11] u/RelentlessPutz: Called off war.. fired up the military operation
[+11] u/Piano_Professional: Anyone else reminiscing the great bull run from April-October 2025 when you could mindlessly buy calls and they would always print 💰💰💰
[+10] u/whydouhatemecablegod: if you don't like it at its damp, you don't deserve it at its pamp
[+10] u/Nomynametoday: idk why but i think tomorrow is gonna be a huge red day worst than last week
[+10] u/WallofNarwhal: Wait, so bitches really do be crazy?
[+10] u/Mysterious_Ad_2777: Anyone find it odd nobody speaks about the **Bermuda Triangle** anymore🤔
[+9] u/crossdefaults: I'm gonna say war, chaos, death, violence in Iran not over. This is a pump to dump. We still have work to do pleasing Yahoo and Pute! Epstein files loom large. Oil companies need this. Military Industrial Complex want dat 200 bili. Peace too risky.
[+9] u/Philthatman: Im an Asian 🐻 and woke up to seeing futes green as hell and oil red as hell. *sees taco* 📈📈📈📈📈📈 I am now a bol
In all honesty, ever since coming back to this god-forsaken place, ive had the forsight to fucking learn from my liberation day self to have to discipline to close daily and have some semblance of risk management. Fuck this manipulation, Fuck 🥭
[+9] u/jun7kr: Anyone who believes that we can just "say we're done" and leave the conflict without consequences is fully regarded.
[+9] u/Empland: #Your poots will be diarrhea by the time you wake.
[+8] u/hockeyfun1: When will the 🌈 of Hormuz be the Straight of Hormuz again?
[+8] u/QueenMagik: Trump aides buying calls and then "leaking" to wsj
[+8] u/TrickyDickCheney: Qqq $20 away from being red for Cheetos term
[+8] u/VIPDeluxeTendies: Lol oil tanker just got hit. This war aint ending anytime soon.
[+7] u/FlyWannaBeRichGuy: Was I shitting myself buying calls at close. Yes. Half my port went calls. Am I still shitting myself. Yes.
[+7] u/PandoraBot: Just so you guys know the lowest daily RSI the market saw during the covid crash before massive rebound was 27, we are currently at around 28 for spy and qqq. Use this information as you will. Last year April, 22. You can try to time it
[+7] u/deandotcom: Friday calls were not the right move.
[+7] u/FatFluffyFish: SPY pump just in time for the Great Short Round 2: Electric Bogaloo
[+6] u/CrustyMcNutty: IRGC has the opportunity to do the funniest thing before market open tomorrow. Fight 🥭with tweets.
[+6] u/TimedOutClock: If I was on the verge of retirement, bridges would look like mighty fine platforms to jump off of lmfao Markets tanking on such a dumbass war would drive me up the walls mad, and it's not looking like it'll be resolved soon
[+5] u/nickzpd: Mango taking the pussy way out and letting them charge for Hormuz
[+5] u/kodaksdad2020: Anyone remember the 2022 recovery where there was a fake tweet about the fed cutting rates and SPY ripped for literally 7 months before they even considered cutting
[+5] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: We’re sending a bunch of A-10s to the Middle East. Close air support aircraft that I don’t think would be in theatre unless we’re about to kick off a serious ground operation
[+16] u/RockasaurusRex: Trying to fix the war by turning it off then back on again.
[+14] u/OnlyBols: I kno u in here hegseth
[+12] u/Creative-Process-789: The boomer news is even calling him taco now lol
[+11] u/IHadTacosYesterday: It's weird because I have a lot of shitty things going on in my life, but on top of that my port is down like 350k since early Feb.
I'm not even thinking much about being down 350k (luckily, just on paper.... they're shares) with all the other bad shit going on in my life. The 350k thing is in the background.
The crazy thing is, if everything else in my life was going really well, I'd probably be somewhat miserable about being down 350k, but I'm barely noticing it
[+10] u/lax_street: #WW3 Loading... 79% complete until you can play the game
[+9] u/absolutxtr: 🥭 has solved the problem. Whore moose can stay "closed". Iran will blow up all the tankers. Oil spills galore. Oil flows out of whore moose in the water. We skim off open ocean. While it's on fire. Problem solved ✅
[+9] u/Low-Tough8302: Why is there so much hate on here? Wasn’t this supposed to be the community that worked together to short squeeze GameStop ?
[+9] u/PunisherR1: Leaving strait closed and backing off is even worse for markets long term
[+9] u/ExcitingPackage1301: so we are dropping 2000 pound bombs and withdrawing at the same time and this is bearish for oil, cool story market cool story
[+9] u/Own-Wolverine-5361: BREAKING 🚨 Bers seen heading to Iran to start shit
[+9] u/No_Arm_6582: Like when futes traders pumped it hard last night till the market opened? I wouldn’t worry too much
[+8] u/SpecialistB: monthly puts are now a safe haven asset
[+8] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: Wow! Did we win the war again?
[+8] u/MakeOSUGreatAgain63: What are chances 🥭 gets impeached before end of term?
I give it 25%
[+8] u/RichardUkinsuch: Did you buy puts at close, because it sounds like you bought puts at close.
[+8] u/DrElkSnout: If any of you wind up getting drafted over this bullshit I hope you understand I am deeply sorry for you. There will be no jokes about any of that shit if it starts going down. It's not looking good at this point and I'm really not joking.
[+8] u/DriftWoodBarrel: The one day I yolo overnight puts. I only have myself to blame.
[+7] u/jg0nzalez22: This shit gotta go back down to 630 by tomorrow morning right?
[+7] u/tommylol66: Final pump before capitulation
[+6] u/SpaceCatVII: WSB members exempt from draft (IQ so low it counts as a disability)
[+5] u/Bluesquare9: Alright Ghabilaf, your turn. Craft a Tweet that sends SPY back into the red. You have 11 hours.
[+17] u/_IsNull: White House Signals Willingness to End Iran War Without Reopening Strait of Hormuz
What a loser LOL.
[+17] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: 🚨BREAKING: 🚨
Iran says they will destroy a gulf state oil facility for each morning SPY opens green
[+15] u/aioliravioli: If they tried to draft me I would simply submit my reddit account and they would actually start sending me disability checks
[+15] u/I-IV-I64-V-I: Yea guys hes *totally* gonna back out and it's totally not a fake out/ market pump for a surprise boots on the ground attack later this week.
[+13] u/skymagic: people in r/cooking have absolutely no idea what’s even going on rn 😔
[+13] u/Specialist_Spite5930: Market pumping because I bought puts before close yesterday. Y’all need to be thankful.
Did either one of you say thank you once?
[+13] u/yukoncowbear47: Lmao every time there is a "report" that Trump is trying to end the Iran war the stock market gets zoomies
Fucking end this economy already
[+11] u/_dudehangsdong: https://preview.redd.it/t75e2y8oubsg1.jpeg?width=256&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dd9f3c1af0f4035babb7d231181ba57b08fa7028
[+11] u/SlfImpr: **Bloomberg**:
>Volatility from the Iran conflict has resulted in the **single largest month of value destruction on record, with nearly $12 trillion in market cap erased** across global benchmarks.
[https://www.bloomberg.com/news/live-blog/2026-03-31/iran-war-live-updates-trump-oil-markets?cursorId=69CB4AFA69700000](https://www.bloomberg.com/news/live-blog/2026-03-31/iran-war-live-updates-trump-oil-markets?cursorId=69CB4AFA69700000)
[+10] u/mr_stupid_face: It’s kind of scary how you can kind of get accustomed to taking a lot of Ls in investing and in business. Shit just doesn’t work out sometimes.
As long as you’re net positive eventually, and properly manage cash flows, shit just kind of works out.
In any case, did you say you wanted the extra napkins in the bag?
[+10] u/hayleybts: Been around long to know this shit will turn red
[+10] u/hayleybts: It's same old storyline green till open n then dump repeat 10x
[+9] u/Traditional-Cloud154: Hopefully it holds so I can buy puts
[+9] u/dUjOUR88: Ban algos and bring back trading with paper, pencil, and backroom handjobs
[+9] u/Certain-Activity733: *Recession Indicator*
Your boomer dad leans in real close and goes - SON - the trick about the stock market is - it’s not about timing the market but time IN the market. He bought his house with Jolly Ranchers.
[+9] u/xShiftfaced: JPM traders aren’t going to know what to do when the market says fuck your shorts and oil rally attempts don’t affect P/E expansion
[+9] u/unironicshitposting: Overnight trading price movement is the fakest bullshit ever.
[+8] u/Nateleb1234: I wish I could trade overnight. It's gonna open red.
[+8] u/Top-Meaning2626: My wife only sucks my left nut, I have to rub her spit on my right nut to get the full experience
[+8] u/Certain-Activity733: *RECESSION INDICATOR* your trump supporter coworker needs you to help him set up robinghood while you explain puts to him.
[+8] u/TJMBeav: You nailed it. Brilliant and concise analysis
[+8] u/Important_Dealer_500: bulls: why u hate marines and want war and hate america
bears: i just want money bro
[+8] u/Noble_Bastard: LMAO. Bomb Iran, fuck off, and leave everyone else to clean up your mess.
Classic 🥭. No plan. No fucks given. Countless death.
[+8] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: Pump is already fading, oil still spicy, what is everyone celebrating...
[+8] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: Bers have won the battle but bols will win the war. We will be higher by end of year.
[+7] u/I_am_Nerman: They got something big underground. Massive explosion seen on weather satellites.
https://x.com/FaytuksNetwork/status/2038762762822623719
[+7] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: So he wants to end the war now without opening the strait now? Talk about showing how useless are military really is.. I guess we are at the emperor with no clothes moment stage of our empire
[+7] u/Stockengineer: when you could sleep well at night, and not worry about random Tweets to pamp or dump the market +/-3%?
[+7] u/Dry-Operation6112: I've been saying for the past week this will only get worse and worse as time goes on. There is no end in sight here. You need to be either short, or hedging your long positions. Market cannot ignore reality any longer. Lube your assholes up this crash is only gonna speed up every day that goes by this week without any concrete deal being signed.
[+7] u/djln491: The real panic day hasn’t even happened yet not even close
[+7] u/GentrifiedStake: bro mango got me fucked up
[+7] u/Zeppu: The market would rise even more if he said he was thinking of retiring, from everything, in general.
[+7] u/Cold_Distribution273: You should all be happy he gave you a chance to reload puts, you don't send troops unless you're planning an invasion. Shit there's reports that marines are trying to get out of it through different means.
[+6] u/Sea-Refrigerator7919: GTA 6 or spy 700 first?
[+18] u/MyCactusTeacher: all this because you diddled kids and they asked too many questions smh
[+16] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: Mango 8am ‘war is done, it’s time for taco’
Mango 12pm ‘April fools motherfuckers!!’
-> Invades Kharg, gets fucking smoked
[+15] u/newtoeso: Same shit different day? Puts at open
[+11] u/Potential_Version_34: They needa put the coke back in coke
[+11] u/sauronII: Now who wants to be exit liquity for Ackman today?
[+11] u/Far_Addition1210: UAE increases fuel prices by 25% from April
[+10] u/UnknownM007: If it’s Kegbreath at 8, my monies on a further military operation
[+10] u/andyman268: Bols mocked cash gang 🤝 relentlessly but who is fuk now??
[+9] u/tombrady011235: There are a lot of tornadoes in this twisters movie
[+9] u/Nagalavonpelt: The next rug pull is going to be glorious to watch 😂
Get that dip bought regards 👌
[+8] u/Fluffy-Discussion166: Need the market to drop another 10%
[+8] u/tika_dengu: nikkei which was -2.5% a while ago is now +0.25%
the world is healing
[+8] u/bobbybeansss: that 33% cash portfolio just keeps feeling better and better
[+8] u/sailortyx56: The CEO of Air Canada is leaving his job not because of the crash that killed two pilots but because he…didn’t film his condolences in French. lol
[https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cgme8xy2rl1o](https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cgme8xy2rl1o)
[+8] u/palmanul: Taco says he's gonna make gulf countries pay for the war
But did Mexico pay for the walls?
[+8] u/IndependentAd4613: One more sell off tomorrow?
[+8] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: spy going below 600 at this point LMAO. market can price in alot, they can't fully price in how long oil prices stay high though as it depends on trump and his iran war
[+7] u/Salty-Bid1597: Imagine using linkedin
[+7] u/Illustrious_Lion7671: If 🥭 really pulls out, Iran will reopen the strait for countries except US and Israel, and will require a tool to be paid in yuan.
However, US/Israel can still buy gas indirectly.
Everybody saves face and the economy is saved. 🐂
[+7] u/myjumboloanapp: Linkedin has got to be the worst social media platform of this era. How you gonna make up a bunch of fake titles for yourself and then get all smug and spread the most insufferable takes you can think of?
[+7] u/JernauG: Mango is either a buffoon or the most successful and brilliant double agent of all time.
[+7] u/Hot-Pop-3250: Iran's Revolutionary Guards: We targeted a ship in the Gulf - Tasnim News Agency
Nobody cared
[+7] u/Prudent_Concern_1511: goodnight puts, I'm sure you will be healthy and strong in the morning
[+7] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: bitcoin being at 67k while spy is at 630 is extremly bullish for btc btw, and there are some saying btc has not reached bottom yet
[+7] u/TarrifJacksonJr: All the bulls are bears now...
To funny
[+6] u/G-IDIOTTHEMAN: Don't worry, there will be a lot of 🤡 in the days to come.
[+22] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: so let me get this straight. he fucked around, bombed random people, made my diesel price in EU go up and is now saying that he might call it quits without opening Hormuz. What in the fuck is this guy doing
[+18] u/External_Counter378: Oil tanker on fire in Dubai and we're moving on the rumor that the strait will remain closed?
[+18] u/knoqd_: > WSJ: Trump is willing to end the Iran war even if the Strait of Hormuz remains largely closed, after aides concluded reopening it could push the conflict beyond his 4 to 6 week timeline. The focus now is on degrading Iran’s navy and missile stockpiles.
We’re pumping on this?
[+13] u/VaIentineX: lost 9k so i deposited 9k. smart
[+13] u/Happy-Philosophy9211: Exit while you can fellas.
This pump is your opportunity - please do not think that war is over.
You are smarter than that.
[+12] u/aDonkeyWithACarrot: Holy shit I don’t think I’ve seen a faker pump
[+11] u/Hot-Walk-6334: Sell the rip lads dont be dumb as fuck
[+11] u/Chris_P_Bacon_Jr: Just like yesterday, PUMP AND DUMP. I trust Iran as my portfolio manager to maximize gains. This is only happening because of orange man’s statement that we are looking to end the war. Then the market steadily declines throughout the trading day. Nothing new. This has happened so many times I lost count.
[+11] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: Lots of people have puts. Makes me wonder if we will pump some just so they get fucked
[+9] u/nvidia69420: TACO pump already fading 😥
[+9] u/pmotiveforce: Bulls just won't stop stopping being stupid.
[+9] u/OkAlternative7705: Please I want an economic crisis never seen before. End this fucking economy. Send this below 2008 levels. -80% on spy. I want everyone to feel it
[+9] u/thenelston: whole markets up 1%, every single tech stock is rebounding, MU decides fuck it lets dip another 1%
[+9] u/Hot-Ambassador8740: I played this so wrong. I feel like people who positioned themselves properly made bank last 2 weeks
[+8] u/TukeTeake: Evergreen was not ever green after all
[+8] u/misterguys: Red by green by flat by ath by open
[+7] u/Derpy_Mc_Burpy: not with epstein files they haven't. Israel still holding them by the balls
[+7] u/KaotikRush0198: man, trump is fucking over my puts and calls, if it went slightly red tomorrow, i'd profit on puts. Instead, everything is going to expire what the fuck
[+7] u/sutro19: Wtf did you guys know that USA is in war with Iran? I think the best play here is to short pistachios
[+6] u/frey_to_tilt: Green premarket, dump at open, the 🥭 playbook from last year hasn't changed by a bit, but it's much harder to fully TACO this time.
[+6] u/aaapod: anyone fuckin with snow strippers
[+5] u/Comprehensive_Tea388: Doubled the price of gas.
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED 👏
[+22] u/VanguardDeezNuts: 1) Hormuz and oil flow is open
2) Start a war for no reason
3) Iran closes the Strait
4) Continue bombing, Iran starts taking payments to let ships through
5) Decide to just walk away leaving Hormuz completely in Iran's control
6) Don't care, made money
- Preshitdent Diaper.
[+18] u/BerryExpress: BREAKING: NASA announces that a new objective of the Artemis mission is to keep 🥭 as far away from Earth as possible.
[+17] u/Curious-Visual4525: The US debt will be over $50 trillions by the end of his term unless he getting impeaced before that.
CHANGE MY MIND.
[+15] u/Concerned_Fanboy: Bulls are gonna fall for it again. Tragic.
Gonna be puts at open again for me dawg
[+14] u/Concerned_Fanboy: Im printing out some of those "I DID THAT!" stickers for the gas pumps but with Mango instead of Joe
[+13] u/RalphaDog: I just wanna speak to the market like it’s a person. You stupid fucking fuck, ignore the orange fuckwad, his words are meaningless, only respond to actions. He says one thing and the complete opposite just hours later but you conveniently ignore the opposing one what’s up with that you twat?
[+13] u/swflcape: Get ready for the inevitable announcement of miracles and request to be sainted.
[+13] u/OrdinaryPhilosophy32: European union calling for countries to use less oil and think about mandating rules to ban cars on certain days from cities. In asia some countries already facing massive issues with fuel shortages. What I am saying is market will surely pump when economy in the entire world is hit /s
[+13] u/Unit_Weird: So everyone trades on news from the Whitehouse? Earnings mean nothing, stats mean nothing, everything is pump or dump...fear or greed. Get a grip America you are better than this shit!
[+12] u/ThouOne: Marco Rubio: War will last weeks more, not months
JD Vance: War won’t take more than 1-2 years
What in the incompetency is this admin
[+12] u/davidbigham: Wont get baited by this green future again.
[+12] u/HowIsEmuWarriorTaken: Did that Iranian guy share any DD today?
Yesterday my man correctly predicted market moves
[+12] u/dumbest-bastard: Who's stronger? Reality, or an old man with a phone?
[+10] u/powerboner: Guys bffr. Shit dumps at 645 and we know it will. Just buy puts
[+10] u/Long_duk_dong_duck: $628 is the play for today
[+10] u/KachThebest69: The only thing 🥭 can do now is say we won, we reached an agreement, Iran will not have nuclear weapons, and they can control the strait, it is not my problem, we are leaving the middle east as we should've done so long ago, the gcc will pay for reparations and Israel and the US will not attack Iran again as long as they keep abiding by the peace deal.
In essence mango will capitulate but he will spin it around and his base will probably believe it as a US victory
[+10] u/Lazy-Astronomer-7829: if super taco happens iran will keep collecting fees on hormuz, aka will make a lot of money and get a better grasp on neighbouring countries. Eventually things will get even worse for israel
[+10] u/MDdriver22: I'm not okay with this pump
[+9] u/decjr06: Mangos tacos are having zero effect on crude... Were fucked
[+9] u/Longtimereader69: If we just get a +4% day tomorrow I promise I’ll retire from trading
[+8] u/Friendofabook: Futures have been around 6440 yesterday and they are ... 6440 now.
Nothing is pumping. The actual sp500 index was dying yesterday while futures weren't. Nothing is pumping. This sub is delulu.
SP500 will be below 640 tomorrow as well. Maybe even breach 630.
[+8] u/kairepaire: **It often isn't the size of the dump that breaks people, but the duration.**
Big crashes can take 3 years to bottom. And then more time than that to get back to where the market was. Are you ready to wait 6+ years?
[+8] u/Time_Molasses_1581: This pump will be over by the time I arrive at McDonald’s. I like their breakfast, I don’t work there 😊
[+8] u/BrownBoiler: Without reopening the strait is an…interesting move
[+7] u/Locke_____Lamora: The only reason this is taking so long is one of Iran's concessions is they want 🥭 to admit that he hasn't actually stopped any wars.
[+7] u/whitepug: Today will 100% be Market Manipulation day where they announce their goals were met and they seek to pull out and then launch a surprise attack over the 3 day weekend because who the fuck cares anymore
[+7] u/Viktri1: lol SPX pumping when it should be crashing
US leaving w/o reopening the strait of H would be devastating
Iran would effectively control oil prices, and the get rich with higher oil prices