What Are Your Moves Tomorrow, March 30, 2026

[+194] u/octopus4488: The goal of the war seems to have shifted to opening the Strait of Hormuz.  Which was open before the war. [+187] u/Outrageous_Method432: If i get 30 upvotes i will buy MSFT 380$ calls for Thursday worth 5k. [+180] u/RevisedPerspective: Fake tweet sends us +1% on open, then we slow bleed to about -4% through the week [+166] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: Israeli officials report that if the U.S. launches a ground invasion of Iran, Israel will participate in other ways that is not boots on the ground. [+126] u/Successful-End7689: Iran’s PM telling us not to fall for the fake pump tomorrow morning… bro this has to be a simulation 💀 [+120] u/DifficultGarlic6: Can't wait for futures in 2 hours so the double digit iq people can post "bull fucked" and "bear fucked" over 0.1% swings. [+70] u/Candid_Payment_4094: 75% chance of a US invasion into Iran by April 30. We are cooked [+66] u/CJKayak: Futures opens in 1.5 hours. I fully expect the White House to announce the cure for cancer in the next hour. [+65] u/Comprehensive_Tea388: If the US would invade Isreal instead, this would be over in 24 hrs. [+65] u/ShittyUsernane1222: \> electricity gets cut of Iran \> rumours of ground invasion \> rumours of nukes being potentially deployed in the future \> Hegseth keeps referring to "holy war" and plans ground invasion during Easter madness. [+62] u/ebfeebfe: If SPY goes down any further, I guess my wife is going to find out about the loan in her name she didn't know about [+58] u/looool_k_libtard: 2 hours until -18% Nasdaq futures [+56] u/mrhappyfunz: Straight is still not open DO NOT ENTER THE CASINO - DEAD INSIDE [+54] u/Moepenmoes: Spent my entire weekend on WSB, I'm cursed [+54] u/No-Insurance100: How much is the market gonna go down the first time footage from an Iranian FPV drone blowing up some 22 year old from Gary, Indiana is put on Telegram and then reposted to Twitter [+53] u/SignificanceLate7002: Land war with a country that is mountainous and whose residents spent the last several decades building bunkers in those mountains. Oh, and also they have a very advanced drone offensive. And 500k soldier army. And 500k reserve. And their religion teaches that martyrdom is an express ticket into heaven. Should be over in a day.......right? [+53] u/OPs_new_account: I hate Israel so fucking much. [+51] u/ebfeebfe: Short term pain for long term pain [+47] u/StonklordBenno: I’m gonna lose so much money this week [+47] u/bearhunter429: #SPY is actually very close to the bottom. It only needs to drop another 25-30% from here. LMAO🤌 [+45] u/JohanLiebert92: " Wall Street eyes signs of TACO amid Iran war" Real Yahoo news headline just popped up LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO [+42] u/financiallythriving: Imagine finding your high school sweetheart selling pictures of her asshole on Onlyfans for $4.99 [+40] u/HowIsEmuWarriorTaken: Manifesting mango man announcing deal done before market open. [+40] u/Lurk_Maximus: Futes bout to open https://preview.redd.it/gxyefnmn02sg1.png?width=709&format=png&auto=webp&s=279f6f9263eda9e4065da5a016f56d6a2abc8d95 [+38] u/fish_: fuck it all in on jesus christ making a return before 2027 on polymarket [+36] u/Historical_Bother274: Turns out the Iranian speaker is on this sub. I knew you guys weren't all regarded [+36] u/tgff333: Iran giving good advice: "Heads-up: Pre-market so-called “news” or “Truth” is often just a setup for profit-taking. Basically, it’s a reverse indicator. Do the opposite: If they pump it, short it. If they dump it, go long. See something tomorrow? You know the drill." [+35] u/Consistent_Chart_664: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BBjF9OK8rcM This motherfucker is really talking about his ballroom, I shit you not. CHOLESTEROL PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO YOUR THING [+34] u/claytondpark: Someone asked on r/stocks if they thought Iran was a black swan event and another posted: "The real black swan event is trump 2nd term. This guy can manufacture a bear market every year" 😆 [+34] u/PeeOnDusk: Stop panicking about the markets and trust 🥭’s plan for short term pain in exchange for long term catastrophe [+33] u/Comfortable_Oil6642: The amount of people speaking like geopolitical experts and still spelling it the STRAIGHTS of Hormuz. 1. It is not fucking plural! 2. Does it looking fucking straight to you, retard? [+33] u/bearhunter429: #The funny thing is even if Iran war were to end today, he wouldn't just stop there either. He'd try to attack Cuba next. LMAO🤌 [+32] u/Comfortable-Sky7801: People who trust these pumps are the same sort who fall in love with strippers and hookers [+30] u/aniote: DJT: Here are my 15 points Iran: *✓✓ seen 11:06* DJT: They accepted most of my points [+30] u/ervelee: Americans are very lucky, because wherever they go to bring freedom… they find oil. [+30] u/2020isgreat: Bulls begging for a we surrender tweet lmao [+29] u/ten7four: The best investing decision of my life was selling META at 600. The worst decision of my life was buying it at 700. [+29] u/arod7432: It’s March 29, 2026. Kamala Harris just announced a White House STEM investment for underrepresented girls that nobody watched. SPY is at an all-time high: 750 [+29] u/CATLLM: BREAKING IAEA confirms ‘severe damage’ to Iranian nuclear facility [+29] u/Left_nostril_fetish: Upvote if you still remember Lumber Liquidators. [+29] u/Ok_Cry7572: !Banbet QQQ +1.3% 1D [+27] u/WingedScapula420: Why are people betting on Jesus coming back? If I was Jesus I wouldn't be within a thousand miles of this shit. [+27] u/tgff333: I'm convinced the major world leaders/dictators are here on WSB [+27] u/shakazuluwithanoodle: 18-30 year olds should stop voting for old people [+27] u/14BrewMan: Hitting desalination plants is not fucking good [+27] u/Derpy_Mc_Burpy: **BREAKING NEWS** Trump says he wants to ‘take the oil in Iran’ US President Donald Trump has told the Financial Times newspaper that he wants to “take the oil” in Iran and said Washington could capture the Iranian export hub on Kharg island. Trump compared the potential move to the US approach in Venezuela, where he noted Washington’s intention to control the oil industry “indefinitely” following the abduction of President Nicolas Maduro in January. “To be honest with you, my favourite thing is to take the oil in Iran but some stupid people back in the US say: ‘why are you doing that?’ But they’re stupid people,” he said. “Maybe we take Kharg Island, maybe we don’t. We have a lot of options,” Trump told the FT. “It would also mean we had to be there \[in Kharg Island\] for a while.” When asked about the state of Iranian defence on Kharg Island he said: “I don’t think they have any defence. We could take it very easily.” \- Al Jareeza We're so fucked bros [+26] u/Most-Crazy2353: Those files must be wild huh [+26] u/bearhunter429: #He basically said "talks going well" and futures moved up like 0.25% before going back to drilling LMAO🤌 [+26] u/any_hat: 🥭: Ceasefire agreement reached Media: Who agreed to the ceasefire? 🥭: Some guy with a towel on his head. Can’t remember his name. He looked very important. *market pumps 5%* [+26] u/Confident_Bee1447: Other people’s losses are far more tolerable than my own [+26] u/McClintockC: Actually trading options ❌️ Relentlessly shitposting✅️ [+25] u/No_Relief_8705: If you're here refreshing waiting for futes you have a gambling problem. [+25] u/RollofDuctTape: “Just like we’re ahead of schedule in the ballroom, we’re ahead of schedule in Iran.” - 🥭 We are so fucked. [+25] u/codespyder: Corrections are normal. Corrections are healthy. You should be grateful that this president gave you a correction. Have you even said thank you yet? [+25] u/SalemKinkTrials: Buying lots of calls tomorrow morning and logging off my brokerage (until later that afternoon) [+25] u/Sad-Literature-5341: Costco should make a rule that you can only bring a max of 2 of your giant white trash families children with you to go grocery shopping. [+25] u/PalsRocksMyWorld: Holy shit my calls are fuuuuuuucked [+24] u/peterpeer9: Fast food is so weird nowadays If you go in, * Nobody says hi or takes your coat. they just stare at their phones silently * 0 customers actually eating inside * 5 dashers waiting to pick up their $80 bag of mcdonalds for some fatass * 1 worker operating the entire store with headphones on * No one at cash register anymore. use the kiosk or order online you weirdo [+24] u/zuziannka: Man I am tired of this hustle culture on Instagram [+24] u/cbusoh66: Can someone get the Iranian Parliament Speaker on CNBC Squawk Box tomorrow? [+24] u/PutVivid6052: Market goes down, my portfolio : 📉 Market goes up, my portfolio : 📉 [+24] u/AstronautPossible374: Benjamin Netanyahu if you’re hearing me, my ex wife is currently developing nuclear weapons [+24] u/No_Relief_8705: Oh man this REALLY makes me think they don't even have a concept of a plan for Iran. [+24] u/AdditionalActuator81: Bulls investment strategy is : hope 🥭 tweets and hope the algos believe it and pump the market [+24] u/Fickle-Firefighter11: All this over pdf files man… [+24] u/Candid_Payment_4094: For the people who played BF3: How easy is it to take over Kharg Island? We need word from the true experts here [+23] u/No_Relief_8705: If you're refreshing this and watching futures you have a gambling problem. [+23] u/FOMO_Gains: Why would Obama do this to us? [+23] u/FartPolluter: BREAKING: Iranian Parliament Speaker to replace Jim Cramer on Mad Money [+22] u/ajibtunes: 🥭doesn't control the stonk market anymore. Iranian parliament speaker does now. He is my new best friend. [+22] u/ProudPeak3570: that 8am tweet gonna hit like cocaine [+22] u/Lurk_Maximus: Gonna shower completely naked [+22] u/Urzuck: Iran calling futes fake and gay [+22] u/DENIMSHORTS_840SCORE: Iran just hit a desalination plant in Kuwait [+22] u/OnlyBols: strippers confirmed ground invasion [+21] u/lithe_silhouette: What's 🥭 tweeting tomorrow before market opens [+21] u/trsx5: I'm old enough to remember the great bull run of 8:15-8:20 [+21] u/NVDA_Gaped_Me: Last week was down 50% on nvda calls so I doubled down. Now i'm down 90%. [+21] u/asetniop: REPORTER: I thought you said "no more wars"? KAROLINE LEAVITT: Right, "no more war*S*". We're allowed to have one. [+21] u/Due-Information-6277: I know as soon I full port oil they gonna open that shit and we will have world peace for the next 100 years lol [+21] u/ShittyUsernane1222: it would be extremely funny if 🥭 tweeted "SELL NOW, DUMP EVERYTHING" due to being hacked by Micheal Burry [+21] u/lovo17: This might be the most avoidable potential crash of all time. [+21] u/Moepenmoes: LMAO is Iran's parliament speaker one of us? He Tweeted this: *"Heads-up: Pre-market so-called “news” or “Truth” is often just a setup for profit-taking. Basically, it’s a reverse indicator.* *Do the opposite: If they pump it, short it. If they dump it, go long.* *See something tomorrow? You know the drill."* ([source](https://x.com/mb_ghalibaf/status/2038348581535425002)) [+20] u/Derpy_Mc_Burpy: **BREAKING NEWS** Trump says he wants to ‘take the oil in Iran’ US President Donald Trump has told the Financial Times newspaper that he wants to “take the oil” in Iran and said Washington could capture the Iranian export hub on Kharg island. Trump compared the potential move to the US approach in Venezuela, where he noted Washington’s intention to control the oil industry “indefinitely” following the abduction of President Nicolas Maduro in January. “To be honest with you, my favourite thing is to take the oil in Iran but some stupid people back in the US say: ‘why are you doing that?’ But they’re stupid people,” he said. “Maybe we take Kharg Island, maybe we don’t. We have a lot of options,” Trump told the FT. “It would also mean we had to be there \[in Kharg Island\] for a while.” When asked about the state of Iranian defence on Kharg Island he said: “I don’t think they have any defence. We could take it very easily.” \- Al Jareeza We're so fucked bros [+20] u/MrEdwL: Troops on the ground? Calls it is [+20] u/Wall_St_Bussy: Morning rally to 675 then plunge to 390 before Power Hour to end flat [+20] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: This is a tweet from official account of speaker of parliament of Iran: Heads-up: Pre-market so-called “news” or “Truth” is often just a setup for profit-taking. Basically, it’s a reverse indicator. Do the opposite: If they pump it, short it. If they dump it, go long. See something tomorrow? You know the drill. [+20] u/ThermalChaser: LoL my port died for Israel [+20] u/Historical_Bother274: Petition to rename Americans to Ameritards because they keep pulling shit like this [+19] u/Infinite-Anybody204: Breaking: Trump reportedly making a deal with Diddy to release his oil reserves in exchange for a pardon [+19] u/wyudtix: “No more foreign wars.” “It’s just a limited military operation.” “Okay, we’re at war. But no boots on the ground.” “We’re putting boots on the ground. But mostly special forces.” “Activate the draft.” [+19] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: You've heard of boots on the ground. In a few hours we'll have futes on the ground [+19] u/BarbellPadawan: If you’re feeling bad about any trades you are in, remember that exactly two years ago uneducated uninformed American poors were unironically buying DJT at $80. [+19] u/Questing4Greatsword: i need to turn 33k into 100k this week or ill be bored [+19] u/PeeOnDusk: Used the gender neutral bathroom just now. Had to take a she/it. [+18] u/Williamnguyen62838: BREAKING NEWS: OIL PRICE IS NOT AT $156 RIGHT NOW [+18] u/Urzuck: Iran might have a shitty army but they are definitely winning the meme/trolling competition, i was not familiar with your game [+18] u/BjergBetterThanFaker: yea gg im selling everything at open. 401k, roth, SEP IRA, HSA, 403b. This shit is fucking cooked [+18] u/looool_k_libtard: Lmao 103 crude oil. The planet is going to come to a crashing halt worse than Covid soon. Fucking idiots. [+18] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: 🥭: "I know we tricked you the last 2 times during negotiations, but we pinky swear we won't this time" [+18] u/Frozen_Shades: Just opened Think or Swim....just closed Think or Swim. [+18] u/SergeantThreat: I get knocked down I get knocked down again I’m always gonna get knocked down [+18] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Love how iran is publicly calling out blatant market manipulation before it happens. [+18] u/According-Page8618: calls up 10%? sell for profit calls down 70%? fuck we hold it [+18] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: We pumped on the tweet of a ceasefire and not one day has passed that a bomb didnt go off. What a wild joke these investors/algos are. [+18] u/BarbellPadawan: As long as markets don’t tank, oil doesn’t soar, and gold doesn’t move much in either direction, my positions are profitable and safe. [+18] u/ihopethisworksfornow: I have more faith in the Domino’s Quality Captain currently checking that my order is perfectly prepared than I have in the federal government of the United States of America [+18] u/bearhunter429: #When will this idiot realize that markets don't want a war LMAO🤌 [+18] u/VariousScenes: Bulls celebrating a 3$ pre-market pump after a 5 week long 65$ drop? [+18] u/Longjumping_Rip_690: We’re in a "slow bleed" phase—a calculated 1–2% daily grind toward a  **20% correction**. By avoiding a flash crash, the "big money" prevents a total panic sell-off. It’s the **boiling frog** effect: retail stays hopeful for a bounce while the floor slowly gives way. If it dropped 20% in an hour, everyone would exit. At 1% a day, most just watch their portfolios bleed. 🐸🔥 [+18] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Cramer tweeted saying we’re going much lower tomorrow. Bottom is in [+17] u/Detonate-Ralph: America has only destroyed 150% of iranian missiles, they have only around 500% left [+17] u/vee1rot8: Having to pay 16k in taxes while my port is deep red is insult to injury [+17] u/bearhunter429: #The last time Microsoft was at this level, SPY was at $465 LMAO🤌 [+17] u/sonofalando: Boomers getting absolutely wrecked in the middle of retirement while they cheer on this baboon 🤡🤡🤡 [+17] u/basedpogchamp: Israeli news reporting many shoppers and diners wait for the exact moment that missle sirens go off so they can leave without paying their bill [+17] u/JohanLiebert92: "Heads-up: Pre-market so-called “news” or “Truth” is often just a setup for profit-taking. Basically, it’s a reverse indicator. Do the opposite: If they pump it, short it. If they dump it, go long. " The Speaker of Iran's Parliament ladies and gentlemen. Incredible timeline to be in 💀 [+17] u/Consistent_Chart_664: The only way this market would go up is if there has been meaningful progress towards ending the war. The opposite of that has happened, it is escalating. You should be fearful. How low does this go. Smart money has already got out, they want this market to dump off a cliff. All that remains are retarded bag holders like myself. can you take the pain??? [+17] u/stupidber: $200 is the new $100 [+17] u/cbusoh66: Bloomberg: [Trump Claims Iran Gave in to US Demands, Considers Seizing Oil](https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2026-03-30/trump-says-iran-gave-the-us-most-of-its-demands-in-peace-plan?embedded-checkout=true) Market: We gotta believe him this time, let's pump [+17] u/sauronII: monday they call me ghey. wednesday they start to quiet down. friday they ask for the hotline. Same procedure as every week. [+17] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: At war and this fucking moron has 56 posts about Letitia James getting prosecuted for more made up bullshit [+17] u/boraboca: 🐻 will be celebrating until that thank you for your attention to this matter drops tomorrow AM [+17] u/Neel_Crashkari: The fact I can't award my own comments is driving me over the edge [+17] u/Basis_404_: Bulls: - ~~SPY 695 the bottom is in!~~ - ~~SPY 690 the bottom is in!~~ - ~~SPY 685 the bottom is in!~~ - ~~SPY 680 the bottom is in!~~ - ~~SPY 675 the bottom is in!~~ - ~~SPY 670 the bottom is in!~~ - ~~SPY 665 the bottom is in!~~ - ~~SPY 660 the bottom is in!~~ - ~~SPY 655 the bottom is in!~~ - ~~SPY 650 the bottom is in!~~ - ~~SPY 645 the bottom is in!~~ - ~~SPY 640 the bottom is in!~~ - ~~SPY 635 the bottom is in!~~ - ~~SPY 630 the bottom is in!~~ - SPY 629 the bottom is in! [+17] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: The 700 mil plane Iran destroyed could’ve payed for my entire bloodlines healthcare for eternity but the MIC always wins [+17] u/Bigddaddi: Spy 600 in the room with us very soon..😂😂 [+17] u/sufficiently7777: I like how he’s didn’t tweet all weekend , in order to repotentize the strength of his tweets. That tomorrow morning tweet gonna hit so hard [+17] u/BFox1982: Breaking: Department of War to issue all soldiers Crocs. Trump reiterates that there will be no boots on the ground. [+17] u/---Right--Tackle---: #there’s boots on the ground in my portfolio and they’re fuckin shit up [+17] u/7HellEleven: bulls think its their day, point and laugh [+17] u/dbgtboi: It's antisemitic to not die for israel [+16] u/primalmarket: This man would rather watch the world burn to the ground than to have 🇮🇱 release his photos.. a 20 year blackmail operation in play by m0ss*d [+16] u/jayxmor: The day’s coming where we see circuit breakers. I just know it LMAO [+16] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Lmao this Ghalibaf guy is hilarious. He just told Americans to short the rip [+16] u/MrKrustySocks: That Celsius post LOL [+16] u/avdvetf: a plane literally blown in half is only "damaged" according to the pentagon, lol war must be going well [+16] u/Icy_Jelly_315: Me last night: I am sooo selling everything at market open Me this morning: anglopoor markets are sooo green surely this will continue 🥹 Me tomorrow: WHY did I not sell that obviously fake rally [+16] u/Nice-Error-1501: I can’t believe the goal of the war is to open the strait now, when it was literally open before the war [+16] u/Warm-Ice12: I’m gonna buy something oil related so that it’ll go back down. Any suggestions? [+16] u/Additional_Problem_1: Holy bull copium in this thread, my lord [+16] u/holymolyratio: The thing about Iran is they really don't have much to lose and will keep going till the last guy stands. Idk why the US hit them and thought they could end it within a few weeks lmao [+16] u/looool_k_libtard: Who is excited for $7 gasoline this summer? NOTHING COULD HAVE PREVENTED THIS! [+16] u/KindlyTie6602: 🥭tweets can no longer make us go up, but they sure as hell can still make us go down. I call it the Down syndrome. [+16] u/Happy-Champion1661: 🥭is now bankrupting another casino 😭😭😭 [+16] u/Carfar_Farcar: Guys I myself am escorting 40 oil tankers through the Strait in the morning just trust me guys. [+16] u/BooBrew32: Mango: Uh oh, futures are selling off again, better bring out the big guns... (clears throat) This is all Biden's fault! [+16] u/Intelligent_League79: Taking my portfolio behind a shed and shooting it [+16] u/AstronautPossible374: They're eating the dogs, the people that came in, they're eating the cats [+16] u/Cold_Distribution273: You know it's bad when overnight is -0.02 0% and bols are cheering. [+16] u/Soffatjockis: Buls coping hard rn. Nothing has changed. No peace is coming. Only escalation. It's not wierd to have a random pump in a bear market, but more pain always follows with lower lows. Fries in the bag broskis [+16] u/_pout_: Wow everyone here bought puts on Friday [+16] u/bluen: looks like we gonna fuk some ports tomorrow [+16] u/Cool_Watercress3816: I only put $20 of gas in my car at the gas station each time I go so gas prices really don’t effect me [+16] u/ajibtunes: Alarming bullish sentiment here, it won’t be pretty this week [+16] u/Beagle001: She had a weird laugh or something something [+16] u/SimpleWire: Guys, we are a tweet away from being back to normal. Just relax [+16] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: Nobody likes to be a 🌈🐻 But right now you're either a 🌈🐻 and take it in the mouth so you can still have a lunch Or you're a bol and take it in the ass and bleed to death [+16] u/Consistent_Chart_664: Here’s some loss porn for ya. On Jan 16th my port was worth 460k. Now it’s worth 310k. In two months I’ve lost on paper 150k. Hope this makes you feel better [+16] u/abroadbroadband: This conflict is different because we can all **clearly see** at the gas station that it's a massive clusterfuck He can't tweet his way out of it [+16] u/bruhhzilla: Negotiations going well. Also we're invading tomorrow. Fckn idiot [+16] u/hotforlowe: Talkin’ about SPY sub 600 as if the USD hasn’t devalued 10% over the last year. We’re already there. [+16] u/bearhunter429: #Instead of young people we should send boomers to war. It would end so quickly then. LMAO🤌 [+16] u/nolanjp: i've lost 6 months worth of gains last week and sold everything today pre market. If this isn't the bottom sign then idk what is. [+16] u/skychief99: Verbatim... a short while ago from the grand leader: * “I think, we’ll make a deal with them, pretty sure. But it is possible, we won’t.” You can't make this shit up. [+16] u/BunsMcCheeks: He operates on the assumption that the population as a whole are a bunch of gullible marks. And he's 5000% correct btw. Because there's no other way this deranged moron is ever elected. [+16] u/DriftWoodBarrel: So reddit is removing posts critical of Israel lmfao. [+16] u/-medicalthrowaway-: I’m starting to think maybe this war wasn’t a good idea for the economy… [+16] u/myjumboloanapp: 🥭 says “Iran agreed to most of his 15 points” and the clankers immediately start pumping like he hadn’t made shit up the last 50 times he duped them. [+16] u/UnicornMilking: 🥭 will learn, sometimes it takes two to 🌮 [+16] u/branpo26: Iran just bombed a desalination plant in Kuwait, yeah the war is def over [+16] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: # BREAKING NEWS: >!YOU'RE GAY LMAO!< [+16] u/IslandExact429: BREAKING: Israel's Channel 12 says that in case of a US ground operation in Iran, Israeli soldiers will not be participating on the ground. [+16] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: Things are not getting better, this maniac is going to start wwIII [+15] u/Salty-Bar-1975: Timing 🥭's tweet tomorrow will my greatest challenge yet [+15] u/Ghost-1969: #🚨BREAKING NEWS🚨- 28 MINS TILL CLIFFORD!!! [+15] u/WrexyWrex: 30-Year Treasury Yield closed at 4.98%, getting very close to the highest level since the run-up to the Global Financial Crisis 👻😱👀 [+15] u/jijitalk: DO NOT OPEN THE CASINO. [+15] u/FuckleUp: Iran agreed on all 15 points except 14 [+15] u/mannycalls24: “The stock you have calls on is showing 12 bearish short term indicators and 0 bullish indicators” thanks Webull nobody asked [+15] u/ten7four: Remember back in november when apple came out with a $230 sock? That was the top signal [+15] u/LarsTarkas: Both bol and ber are acting really retarded over futes [+15] u/qx2: Kids pretending green while we know we drilling [+15] u/ComfortableWolf779: War = inflation, inflation = print more money, print more money= stock go up? [+15] u/DownSyndromSteven: Being a ground force in the age is drones, you have to have large testicals man [+15] u/Wall_St_Bussy: Damn Chuck Norris really was the glue holding everything together [+15] u/Microwave-Dave: Even Iran are telling the regards what to do [https://x.com/mb\_ghalibaf/status/2038348581535425002](https://x.com/mb_ghalibaf/status/2038348581535425002) [+15] u/d33p7r0ubl3: MB Ghalibaf giving better financial advice for free than Burry and his paid substack https://x.com/mb_ghalibaf/status/2038348581535425002?s=46 [+15] u/LarryStink: 10 minutes until life has meaning 🥹 [+15] u/CPA-hole: 9 minutes until my life has meaning again [+15] u/Bichael-Murry: # GET ME JPM ON THE LINE! [+15] u/softboiledjadepotato: Baron feverishly googling, "how to develop bone spurs?" [+15] u/Independent-Tree-985: REMEMBER YOU BEING AT ROCK BOTTOM DOESNT MEAN THE MARKET HAS BOTTOMED YET [+15] u/HalaMadridPapaFlo: Tom Lee: “S&P to hit 9001 by April end” [+15] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: 🥭’s truth pump attempt tomorrow: For a limited time ONLY, go into Burger King and show proof of a recent purchase of at least 1 SPY share, must be within 5 days, for 1 FREE Whopper! Thank you for your attention to this matter! [+15] u/CPA-hole: Two week war my asshole We will be at war with Iran in 2030 [+15] u/thrashmetal_octopus: The buying opportunity just never stops *nervous laughter* [+15] u/Detonate-Ralph: You bought stocks friday expecting a TACO green monday, only to become the exit liquidity 🫵🏻😂 [+15] u/ajibtunes: [Coolest guy on WSB](https://www.reddit.com/user/me/) [+15] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost /u/LuluButterFive made a bet that DJT would go to 0.0 within **15 minutes** when it was 8.448 and it did not, so they were banned for a week. Their record is now 0 wins and 12 losses [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) [+15] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: MY LIFE IS A FUCKING JOKE!!!! AND NONE OF YOU FUCKING CARE!!!!! AAAAUUUGHHHHHH [+15] u/smellyfingernail: Green by open due to inevitable “war talks going very well!” Tweet and then close -2% when another ship blows up in the strait [+15] u/Urzuck: Gabagool, the Iranian Pm told us to buy puts if green gay futes, i trust gabagool. [+15] u/YourCautionaryTale: Had to wake up early to see all my bull friends.  For some reason lately, they're only showing up early in the morning, they haven't been hanging around when the market's actually open. 🥺 [+15] u/MadHat0815: https://preview.redd.it/t97n2913v5sg1.jpeg?width=1919&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fb5558e85934803ef910ca7a2f04dd0ec87712aa [+15] u/farmerjoe007: Jesus nobody knows what will happen [+15] u/Historical_Bother274: Prob small rally +0.4% and all the bulls and value investors will come out of hiding again [+15] u/MixFit5225: Everyone thinks relief rally so -4% it is [+15] u/looool_k_libtard: Been saving up every day for months preparing for this drop. Monday morning I will unload every dollar I have ($19.73) on fractional Apple shares [+15] u/Necessary_Fly_9266: Damn oil futes +3% alr [+15] u/Ok_Advantage_8153: Oil up to $116 a barrel on that asia market open.  It was $72 a barrel before this 'excursion'. Thanks Obama. [+15] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: No jobs, no healthcare, rising inflation, rising interest rates, rising debt, military draft..... 🥭 was a mistake [+15] u/SlaynArsewhole: BTC at $40k will bankrupt an already morally bankrupt El Salvador [+15] u/Thotmas01: Tiger woods looking at his portfolio with a fifth of whiskey getting ready to do it again. [+15] u/Broad-Belt-5888: Just think, by Easter the DOW will be over 40,000 [+15] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: Didn't a redditor comment saying - something will be open this week. Either the straight or his anus... Looks like it a clear cut answer to that... [+15] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: A lost decade will be fun, especially for us older millenials. [+15] u/Level_Counter3062: This weekend went by fast [+15] u/oldprecision: I really need to find something different to doom scroll. [+15] u/orangeyougladiator: Futes pricing in a -4% day [+14] u/Bichael-Murry: WE ACHIEVED ALL OUR GOALS WE WON BIGGLY (ONE WOULD SAY THE BIGGLIEST WIN EVER KNOWN IN HUMANKIND) WE ARE LEAVING TOMORROW! [+14] u/iswearnotagain10: I just saw an attractive white girl pick up a DoorDash order. It’s fucking over [+14] u/Ok-Piano8789: iran giving trading advice 🤣🤣🤣 weve truly lost the meme war [+14] u/Character_Pirate_152: I love how when i post on WSB a summary of observations by hedge fund traders it gets shadow blocked. But i post about licking a women's asshole and it goes right through. [+14] u/emr1028: One hour until we meet destiny. [+14] u/Ok_Complaint_3589: #bol trapped like a bunch of rats on a sinking ship lolzzzzzzzzz [+14] u/ten7four: Bols celebrating over -0.3% futures LOL [+14] u/ten7four: Ain't it funny how stocks are hard to buy when they're cheap but they're easy to buy when they're expensive af [+14] u/JaredFlys: Please end this nonsense in Nov midterms [+14] u/Detonate-Ralph: It's still not over bols, join the bear force and short/PUT everything, you'll recover [+14] u/therealcoon: I wish I didn't have to get my news from fucking truth social. [+14] u/Fancy_Cattle_5914: Iran cooking up a fire statement to release at 9:00am to destroy this pump before market opens [+14] u/sck178: Man imagine thinking you should trust your own government when the Iranian government has been the pillar of truth and hones... Wait what? [+14] u/hv876: Curl up in shower and cry [+14] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: Who is this 'clavicular' person and why is he suddenly in my feed? [+14] u/Abe2025: Baby oil is on back order. This week is going to be raw [+14] u/Gom_KBull: Anxious and excited as hell ngl [+14] u/MixFit5225: Bulls be like You got anymore of them tweets! [+14] u/kryptonyk: This girl is hot but she gave me chlamydia. She admitted it and apologized… should I smash again? [+14] u/guzzledglizzy: I miss 2008 because I didn’t give a shit about that financial crisis at all and was just chilling playing cod World at War with the homies [+14] u/ConstantAd1: 🥭 is putting the 500 in S&P 500 [+14] u/trollboter: This is going to be a great knife catching competition. [+14] u/Haunting-Window-5125: If Japan actually shorted oil then they deserve the proverbial third nuke they are about to receive directly to their economy [+14] u/LeadingCable2452: Freak. The. Fuck. Out. Sell. Everything. [+14] u/Ok_Cry7572: META $518 overnight… Was at $720 just a month or two ago lmao [+14] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: today I finally just decided, you know, fuck it. fuck it all to hell. why do I need to wear this mask? who is it for? so when my grandma asked what I've been up to, yeah, I gave her a blow-by-blow account of the gooning. and it fucking *broke* her. but I am free now [+14] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: He’s gotta be getting pissed that his tricks aren’t working on the market [+14] u/financiallythriving: Imagine having sex with your spouse before having 8 hours of restful sleep [+14] u/trsx5: Gotta love how mango man using the 20 ships that are going to Pakistan as his "proof of gift" - Also, does anyone know why we are there anymore? If we effectively won, what did we win? lol [+14] u/myjumboloanapp: It’s really a miracle this country made it as far as it did it jfc [+14] u/HDauthentic: Remember the numbers aren’t real until the market opens [+14] u/ebfeebfe: SPY -7% Monday Stimmy checks Tuesday Flat rest of the week Rinse, repeat [+14] u/Unh0lyCatf1sh: yo America if you guys could stop declaring war on random countries in the Middle East everytime your leader is behind in the polls the rest of the world would greatly appreciate it [+14] u/Specialist_Fig9458: Again, shorting oil does not change the amount of actual oil that is being transported. This will not solve anything LMAO [+14] u/Flat-Focus7966: Jim Cramer expecting 1.5% drop by midnight We are turning green by 9 PM…. [+14] u/LasyKuuga: Fuck CNN, fuck fox, fuck MSNBC I’m getting all my news from strippers on TikTok apparently [+14] u/hfbvm2: Spiderkash can save us [+14] u/Tay_Tay86: It's ok guys. Just a cool -4.66% in Japan open. I am sure this shit isn't contagious [+14] u/Fernyfern7: Please announce more tarrifs that would be hilarious [+14] u/cannythecat: We might be heading into a 6 week losing streak. Last happened in 2022 and 2011. They're quite rare. 7 week losing streak also happened in 2022. But don't worry bulls, 8 week is extremely rare. 8 week losing streak only happened during the great depression. [+14] u/FullCopy: The Zuck is a mischievous lizard who never had one original idea. [+14] u/Cav829: The good news: SPY 616 should have pretty strong resistance. The bad news: you don't want to know the next level. [+14] u/A_Chair_Bear: Alternative oil markets are the move. Olive, canola, avocado [+14] u/Pazzaaaaaa: So he was it a great day bombing key targets in Iran but also said talks are going well and that they are gifting 20 large oil tankers as a gesture of good faith but then also said he’s thinking of taking the oil in Iran/kharg island. No wonder oil hasn’t budged and is still up 3% [+14] u/Whoopziedaisy: Mango’s market pump as fake as when your ex girl says “nothing happened, I was drunk and slept on the couch” [+14] u/hv876: Based on the very sensible advice from Iranian Speaker, the play is to go weekly puts. [+14] u/d33p7r0ubl3: The real fun begins at 8pm when overnight trading opens [+14] u/Fast-Steak-7730: opening red is better than green for bulls [+14] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: there is no way bulls just celebrated a no volume pump from -0.7% to -0.3% with over 12 hours to go before real market open like have some self-respect for fuck's sake [+14] u/Long_Exchange_7347: bro really said they agreed on almost all the points in the plan LMAOOOOOOOO so delusional [+14] u/Defiant-Fee-7550: Never seen WSB this berish before 😦 [+14] u/cannythecat: Have you guys been watching the traffic patterns for the ships that are allowed to cross the strait? They all hug the Iranian coastline. They got the rest of the shit mined. [+13] u/brock2063: In another timeline we don't have to fight about oil, we harness the sun's unlimited free energy. What a timeline that would be. [+13] u/Moepenmoes: Do NOT open the casino [+13] u/BFox1982: I can't believe this is all because the Ayatollah didn't say thank you. [+13] u/National-Log5203: WSB panicking is a surefire indicator that tomorrow is gonna be green [+13] u/alfred250: Bers want the US to collapse, while also hoping to get rich in USD. [+13] u/boraboca: Trump claims peace talks going well and also said he wants to take irans oil 😂 😂 [+13] u/Samurai-lugosi: I am mostly cash right now and I am feeing great about that. [+13] u/Equivalent-Quail138: People who bought the Nikkei at ATHs are gonna have to wait another 34 years to break even [+13] u/alfred250: Even if your port goes -90% tomorrow, you are smarter than the guy who bought a monkey jpeg for $800,000 [+13] u/Paul_Robert_: I just saw a clip of a husky getting mesmerized by brain rot content on a TV screen. I have never related this much to a doggo before [+13] u/MomentPrestigious180: Everyone should migrate to MacOS/Linux just to fk MSFT out of spite because of its price action. [+13] u/Fast_Signature7684: started investing last year, discovered options & Hims & rheinmetal made me 30k + 50% in a month. then lost all and more with tariffs, stopped options and missed whole wave up. decided its time to go for options again since spy hasnt moved in 5 months and the 8 february dip looked great and bought at 680. well boys my port down 30% lol [+13] u/WSBrexiteer: There's always a bull market somewhere 🙂 [+13] u/financiallythriving: 12 Trillion Kit Kats were stolen [+13] u/Antique_Cabinet8416: SPY hits buy zone on the Buffett Indicator at $400 by the way lmao [+13] u/Soffatjockis: Drill team six reporting in. We have had a nice pleasant weekend and we are ready to continue working on Monday. We have acquired a new drill able to penetrate much faster and deeper than ever before. [+13] u/alfred250: Tiger is a billionaire… my guy, get a rolls royce phantom and a driver. We are on crash #3 at least, leave the driving on the golf course [+13] u/Mother-Bottle9962: futures are going to rip. nothing happened over the weekend [+13] u/Ok-End-3213: Fuck the Admin and fuck 🥭 [+13] u/LiechtensteinCitizen: How is 🥭 so old but have so much energy to do stupid shit? [+13] u/PinealTone: Dump for ants.. a single truth tweet will rocket the indexes at this rate. [+13] u/Anchises1: my moves tomorrow are to put my head between my legs and kiss my ass goodbye [+13] u/Tay_Tay86: Wsj says he is considering a troop mission to get the uranium. Holy shit That's even worse. [+13] u/Internal_Field5970: Margin call in 2 min for some of you [+13] u/kawkface: GREEN BY OPEENNNNNNNN [+13] u/powerboner: Feeling very “nothing matters”. Do I take out the 250K personal loan I was pre approved for and 0dte [+13] u/ShopWhileHungry: Hi I would like to speak to the manager I order Taco an hour ago [+13] u/Internal_Field5970: Why are we in Iran?  Is Epstein an Iranian surname? [+13] u/Snoo23417: Trump strikes me as the type of person who doubles down when they are losing. Invasion is near guaranteed. [+13] u/Competitive-Water944: Shit ain’t bad until Ackman starts crying on CNBC again [+13] u/PutVivid6052: I’m in a constant cycle of wanting to get back to where I was a month ago. [+13] u/diunay_lomay_a: Trump fake pump. We know this game. Puts at 10 am [+13] u/timetopractice: Y'all didn't live through WW2 and it shows [+13] u/knoqd_: > 🚨 IRAN’S BAGHAEI SAYS PROPOSALS CONVEYED TO IRAN HAVE MOSTLY BEEN ‘UNREALISTIC, UNREASONABLE AND EXCESSIVE’ [+13] u/No-Put2311: If this pump gets dumped before open post the hotline for Bols. Cruel and unnecessary punishment [+13] u/Affectionate-Safe295: Big green dildo tomorrow open [+13] u/BadBoyBilbo: *“Yeah, we’ll probably have a small relief rally tomorrow.”* Holy copium, Batman 📉 [+13] u/NotawoodpeckerOwner: Buying Microsoft at open tomorrow so get ready for another -10% this week all MSFT longs. [+13] u/IAmLostOnMyFuture: Gamble my life savings on options while my parents work their life out [+13] u/No_Relief_8705: Ok but imagine how many fish are just hanging out in the strait of Hormuz thinking, 'damn it's quiet here' [+13] u/Moepenmoes: We all know the futes are somewhat useless but we still crave it for that little early dopamine kick before the market starts [+13] u/Internal_Field5970: Were any of you retarded enough to think futures would be green? [+13] u/ahmdthehedgefund: Guys I live in the gulf and we still hear a lot of booming, we’re basically fucked [+13] u/Neel_Crashkari: Idk, bers. The people want uppies [+13] u/MasterElite1: >NEW: Israeli forces will not participate in potential US ground operations against Iran. -Channel 12 😮 [+13] u/LaserBeamer17: Inverse Reddit gonna feed families with this Green Day tomorrow [+13] u/BarbellPadawan: -38 on futes is basically green after this weekend [+13] u/Flat-Associate-8215: WTI 150 by the end of the week [+13] u/LeupMeisterGenral: “Insane pump” down 0.3% [+13] u/BooBrew32: Ridiculous that Mango can say he's talking with Iran which he's lied about before and the market believes him. I got a bridge to sell these pajama boys. [+13] u/Detonate-Ralph: Bols: mad at bers for "cheering for the war" Also bols: asking Trump to nuke Iran [+13] u/renedotmac: Im honestly still not convinced this thing is red tomorrow. [+13] u/SergeantThreat: I drink a whisky drink I drink a vodka drink And when I have to pee I use the kitchen sink [+13] u/Flat-Focus7966: SPY 660 this week.... [+13] u/Disconn3cted: I'm seeing extreme opinions in both directions here, so I'm thinking it'll probably be flat [+13] u/jasperCrow: Pretty overwhelmingly bearish in here, which makes me regret holding puts over the weekend. 🌮😞 [+13] u/smart_doge: Finally got margin enabled in my 401k. Top of my portfolio is in. [+13] u/BugStock: "IRAN out of rate cuts and the struggle ISRAEL" - JPOW [+13] u/ismebbb: BEARS ARE GOING TO BE REALLY CONFUSED WHY THEY'RE GETTING FUCKED TOMORROW LMAO [+13] u/0insertusernamehere: Green for 10 minutes then red light therapy for the rest of the day [+13] u/Fickle-Firefighter11: Upvote if you think Green [+13] u/OptionGamble: Pedo pump getting weaker [+13] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Hate the guy all you want but mango really will pump the market on some straight bullshit LMAO [+12] u/IlinistRainbow6: on friday i posted a comment that was “15 months of gains erased in 2 weeks” and before it was haha, but now im feeling an overwhelming sense of depression [+12] u/According-Page8618: JUST IN: 🇮🇷 Iran says pre-market news is a "reverse indicator." "If they pump it, short it. If they dump it, go long…See something tomorrow? You know the drill." https://x.com/WatcherGuru/status/2038351827314393545 what? [+12] u/astromouse2024: You heard the man, if we pump tomorrow reload on puts [+12] u/AirportMaterial5917: Only thing to pass the time is jerk off [+12] u/illbebahk: I may have lost 50k this year but it could have been 100 without my stoploss so i essentially made 50k right guys? [+12] u/Bam2458: Would totally snag a bitcoin at like $40. Edit: 40 bucks is kinda steep, maybe $30. [+12] u/Just_Learned_This: How are so many of you still bullish? [+12] u/Silver-Barracuda7834: I won’t sleep a single night until my port goes back to $200k. I know in my heart I’m about to be broke broke [+12] u/helloworldalien: Imagine where we’d be with no Tariffs or a War????? Jerome would be making us all rich… instead now all I have is a jar of peanut butter and a cucumber. [+12] u/Sad-Substance8684: If last week’s mini dip seems devastating, you ain’t ready for what comes next. [+12] u/Paul_Robert_: Petition for the Pentagon to start including emojis in their operation names [+12] u/sleepygarner: I'm officially scared money [+12] u/J_da_CPA: Bro still thinking about Obama after all these years lmao [+12] u/ConstantAd1: Joe Rogan killed by North Korean nuke RIP [+12] u/blumpkinspatch: Bers are just entrance liquidity [+12] u/NaturalFortune8397: the amount of bulls that have come out of the shadows in the past 4 hours should let you know how much further we have to drop before we reach capitulation wait for a minor 0.6% pop on monday at open and load puts at 10:30 thank me later, seriously [+12] u/LaserBeamer17: Imagine if we hit SPY 650 tomorrow lmfao [+12] u/Ok_Cry7572: I'm selling cheap kitkats if interested in bundles of 100 [+12] u/Inner-Cobbler-2432: Week 5 in groundhog day. We are still buying calls for mo/tue and puts for we/thu/fri. The timeloop is unbreakable. [+12] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Who sold at the bottom on Friday, show yourself [+12] u/blindrubberchicken: When do the Iranians drop the Epstein videos they stole from Patell’s “homework” assignment? [+12] u/Hungry-Brain-3287: Recession got me researching bonds, y'all. BONDS! [+12] u/ALittleWorseEveryday: If Buffett weren’t such a cuck he’d take that 350 billion cash pile and throw it on 0DTEs [+12] u/kodaksdad2020: kazakhstan goat futures off the charts [+12] u/jamieperkins9999: Way overdone. Every bull market has corrections. Time to go all in. [+12] u/TickTockTaudit: Essentially every single handshake you’ve experienced in your entire life….a dick’s been in that hand. [+12] u/bearhunter429: #So this will be the 6th red week in a row for the first time since 2009. LMAO🤌 [+12] u/mannycalls24: Oil pumping futes dumping, idk why I expected anything else lmfao [+12] u/puts_every_day: Bols don't even recognize their own flag on oil 😅 [+12] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: My calls bout to print. USO and VIX calls that js [+12] u/Detonate-Ralph: If you're feeling retarded, remember Japan is using their national bank to short oil [+12] u/_Netgirth: In October I was looking for retirement homes in Monaco, then Mexico, now I’m eyeing a quaint cottage in Mogadishu [+12] u/baadllama_ghost: attention retards there will be a trump tweet tonight or tomorrow morning that will instantly cause oil to drop and the indicies to skyrocket thank you for your attention to this matter [+12] u/maximuminimum: A lot of you don’t have experience in the market & news since you’re too young (not your fault) - but let me enlighten you: I think Iran fights back harder just to avenge the 1984 Hulk Hogan vs Iron Sheikh match, which kickstarted the whole Hulkamania! and resulted in humiliation for Arabs Idk if they’ll be able to keep up for long though, against the country that literally invented the Chokeslam [+12] u/miata_only: Zelenskyy says touch your toes Zelenskyy says jump up and down Attack Iran Aha Zelenskyy didn't say! [+12] u/rollinhating: ngl some people here report whats happening in the middle east faster than the media.. Its almost as if WSB got boots on the ground to give us the best chance to lose money [+12] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: 🌮 literally said he was surprised the market didn't fall further you are on your own [+12] u/looool_k_libtard: Don’t know why people are crying. Literally nothing could have prevented this. [+12] u/aftherith: Oh no my toilet is Kharged! *Editor's note: This joke made a lot more sense when I believed the name of the island was "Klarg" and not "Kharg". As a result of that single letter difference the joke which was bad to begin with, became almost meaningless. [+12] u/kodaksdad2020: Imagine buying silver over 100 lmaooo [+12] u/decjr06: Barron furious that the taco tweets are no longer pumping... . [+12] u/ihopethisworksfornow: Rubio and Vance must just fuckin hate each other, right? [+12] u/Alarmed_Awareness165: Don’t worry Bols, you have skilled and energetic businessman Jared Kushner to work out this little misunderstanding [+12] u/A_Chair_Bear: The ber trinity of nasdaq/DOW/S&P correction occurs tomorrow. Buls there is still time to convert before judgement day. [+12] u/TheMightySet69: "Iran promises to set US troops on fire" That's not gonna be good for business. That's not gonna be good for anybody. [+12] u/br0botic: Short term pain for long term also pain Art of the Deal™ [+12] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: "Chris Paladino, 58 years old, said he initially decided to invest around a quarter of his portfolio in private credit, hoping for yields of 9%. When he saw the headlines last week, he briefly wondered if he had made a mistake.  Instead, he decided to double down on a private-credit fund. He said such funds are meant to be held for long periods.  “I just put $200,000 more,” Paladino said." we are so cooked [+12] u/OkRecommendation1040: Msft up 0.3% means the most bullish day ever [+12] u/-medicalthrowaway-: Yeah the energy crisis sucks… but I’m still mad they took away wsb emojis [+12] u/Difficult_Beat_6094: i have this gut feeling i should have bought calls for tmr [+12] u/BarbellPadawan: The fact that index futures were -40 and now they’re flat is admittedly kind of crazy. [+12] u/AirportMaterial5917: Is the moon in the room with us [+12] u/LetigiousBoobFart: BREAKING NEWS: IRAN IS OPENING THE STRAIGHT OF HORMUZ TO ANY COUNTRY FOR THE LOW-LOW PRICE OF A SMALL AMOUNT OF HIGHLY-ENRICHED URANIUM [+12] u/arbitraryBlue: Yeah I'm buying puts at open if it opens green [+12] u/CWMacPherson: Getting (admittedly factual) Twitter reminders from the Iranian foreign minister that the tweets from our president are simply market pump schemes is so fucking wild I might as well identify as Tarzan at this point [+12] u/PeachScary413: Yuuuuuge amount of ships going through the Strait right now, it's even more than when Sleepy Joe was president. [+12] u/Philthatman: https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2026/3/28/pakistan-secures-iran-deal-to-send-20-ships-through-strait-of-hormuz So it was Pakistan who made the deal, while Vance was fucking the couch in the same room? [+12] u/PulIthEld: >Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu says Israel’s invasion of southern Lebanon will intensify. Israels invasion of what?? JFC these guys are outta control. [+12] u/blindrubberchicken: Hegeseth screaming into a Pentagon mirror this morning, yelling “I AM NOT A GAY FISH” [+12] u/Philthatman: Hold your goddamn pump to open and violently shit the bed once i buy my puts you filthy whales [+12] u/bb483: This has been the longest year ever [+12] u/Extreme_Green_1708: A second tiger woods has hit the Strait [+12] u/SleepyxCapybara: Im down for a black monday situation [+12] u/NewDawn101: I voted today in my local elections, I performed my civic dookey [+12] u/Microwave-Dave: Someone spin up r/tehranstreetbets or r/hormuzstreetbets [+12] u/RomanJohnWick: I wanna see Asia freak the fuck out of [+12] u/No_Relief_8705: Ummm question ☝️🤓 do futures have a breaker? [+12] u/Internal_Field5970: This is a solid week to remember not to go full retard [+12] u/According-Page8618: 6th red spy week, not even covid or tarrifs had 6 red spy weeks. wtf is this shit [+12] u/civillyRange: Oil over a hundred LMAO riding bikes to work this summer for the poors [+12] u/tcmart14: Some of you bols are alright. Don’t show up to market for the next 10 years. [+12] u/Terrible-Suit9991: https://preview.redd.it/hbfzkvud62sg1.jpeg?width=696&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e1c99e2132e9731905a6223405228347872d865b [+12] u/SighRamp: putting over 80% of your elite fighters on a small island in one tiny spot that your opponent wants to happen.. what could go wrong? OIL Bull. [+12] u/Few_Egg3567: 82nd berborne division reporting for duty [+12] u/RelegatedRick: Houthis could do the funniest thing ever an hour before market open tomorrow… [+12] u/Old-Pomegranate3634: Nethanyahu told Trump war will be done in four days if he kills the guy at the top and people will come on the streets for liberating him and he will be hailed They knew exactly how to play to his ego All he did was crash the stock market completely. Qqq 500 loading [+12] u/patricktu1258: I don’t want to make money I just want my money back [+12] u/2020isgreat: if you haven't realized the value of his tweets have been decreasing no one can help you [+12] u/Illustrious_Lion7671: When wsb starts talking circuit breaker you know we gonna be green af [+12] u/Internal_Field5970: “It’s a war but I can’t call it a war for legal reasons”. 😉  “I like to surround myself with retards to make me feel better about myself” “You wanna ask me anything?? Ask me about sex” “We have 17 secret bases we take off from” What else was there? [+12] u/PositiveToe2761: Israel's Channel 12 says that in case of a US ground operation in Iran, Israeli soldiers will not be participating on the ground. [+12] u/Dorkasteri: _Channel 12 reports that if the US launches a ground operation in Iran, Israeli troops will not take part in the combat._ They truly are the master race. They have played the US once again. [+12] u/Fhyzikz: It may have never been this over [+12] u/Internal_Field5970: Hey remember, everyone here spreads misinformation to better their position but in reality retail retards don’t move markets [+12] u/avdvetf: it's funny, the market is run by algos and bots, and even they don't believe mango anymore [+12] u/VisualMod: **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/LuluButterFive** bet **DJT** goes from **8.45** to **0.0** before **29-Mar-2026 09:20 PM EDT** Their record is 0 wins and 11 losses. [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) [+12] u/iwanttokissyou: Casino is closed on Friday if that makes you feel better [+12] u/Fluffy-Discussion166: How do I buy call on Iran [+12] u/twostroke1: Get some sleep tonight champs, big day tomorrow at the casino. [+12] u/RogerBalderer: if what mango said was true we are +3% tomorrow. But the chance what he said was true is also 3% [+12] u/420juuls: The Nikkei is looking crazy [+12] u/weewoowewoooo: Everything magically pumping now? LMAOOOO [+12] u/Chlo-Motion: Somebody please just hack Barron's Robinhood account and post his positions. We can all be rich [+12] u/tommylol66: You idiots are caring about futures… it’ll dump premarket [+12] u/Internal_Field5970: Fuck slightly green futes is bearish [+12] u/Moepenmoes: High IQ chat is about to leave the room, Muricans are about to wake up [+12] u/baoenie: Today spy +1% just to ass fuck put weekend holders [+12] u/No-Sympathy-686: Heading to this Hormuz place to get eyes on it... Seems fake... Will report back at open tomorrow.... [+12] u/Competitive-Water944: 🥭 so bored with this war already. He like wen moon [+12] u/TickTockTaudit: Anyone whose FB profile pic is a non-smiling selfie in the driver’s seat with sunglasses on. Send them to war. Trust me, they think they’re up for it. [+12] u/smart_doge: I’m from the future, strait is still closed [+12] u/Boring-Nectarine-311: There is nothing I hate more than gurus telling you why the market is doing something. You are fucking tard like me shut up. [+12] u/PennyStonkingtonIII: OK . . so . .late last night Iran Parliament speaker posts warning that Trump will try to manipulate the market with false news in the morning. This morning, the headline reads that Trump says Iran gives in. Futures are up. Dude . .really? [https://x.com/mb\_ghalibaf/status/2038348581535425002?s=20](https://x.com/mb_ghalibaf/status/2038348581535425002?s=20) [+12] u/aaapod: do you have any idea the physical toll three vasectomies has on a person [+12] u/Misrabligen: What company produces coffins for the US military? [+12] u/Fickle-Firefighter11: FUCK YOU BERS WE ARE GREEN 🫑🫑🫑🫑🫑🫑🫑🫑🫑🫑🫑🫑🍋‍🟩🍋‍🟩🍋‍🟩🍋‍🟩🍋‍🟩🍋‍🟩🍋‍🟩🫒🫒🫒🫒🫒🧑🏿‍🎤🧑🏿‍🎤🧑🏿‍🎤🧑🏿‍🎤🧑🏿‍🎤🥭🥭🥭🥭🪀🪀🪀🪀🪀🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🪦🪦🪦🪦🪦🪦🪦 [+12] u/tika_dengu: he‘ll cancel midterms [+12] u/Beagle001: This whole bear vs bulls thing seems really juvenile and stupid. I can’t think of better words. It reeks of unintelligence for some reason. Like, bears caused the market to go down or some shit. [+12] u/Fhyzikz: Markets literally need Iran to confirm what the US president has said in order to react. Wild times lol [+11] u/Single-Adeptness-769: This market has come down quite a bit but I cannot stress enough how much hopium is *still* guiding this and it *should* be lower. I’m so sorry for being gay but the markets across the world are literally in flames and the US market just had a slight dip as a result. When this goes bad it’s gonna be fucking ugly man. [+11] u/HS_1990: My calls go to zero. [+11] u/AKNJ907: Like wrapping a gun shot wound in duct tape and thinking it’s all good. [+11] u/ShittyUsernane1222: it would be extremely funny if circuit breakers stopped working due to "server malfunction" and SPY dumped like an shitcoin which got rug-pulled. [+11] u/ConstantAd1: They call it Liberation Week because it liberates you from your money [+11] u/0DTEKing: Congratulations Taco mo”fer and those who voted for this POS 😡 [+11] u/Ok_Complaint_3589: #bol in denial + anger stage of the grief lmfao 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 [+11] u/Muted-South4737: Frodo on the slope of Mt Doomer: I've forgotten what green looks like, Sam. [+11] u/Pazzaaaaaa: Bulls out here celebrating -0.40% [+11] u/kaapooj: >The government [of Ethiopia] has instructed all public institutions and state-owned enterprises to put non-essential employees on annual leave in an attempt to mitigate the fuel shortage suffocating transportation across the country. https://www.thereporterethiopia.com/49965 [+11] u/ihopethisworksfornow: Shutting down SoraAI is hilarious because what do you mean allowing users to generate unlimited shitpost videos for like $20/month isn’t a profitable business plan [+11] u/scooterhomeimprover: Multiple legit sources a ground invasion imminently underway and futures are barely down. Ok. [+11] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: US troops working remotely because of Iranian attacks [+11] u/moazzam0: The 20 Pakistani oil ships were already agreed to by Iran so the taco was fake, but it points to a new model for Taco: point to the ships getting through Hormuz due to Iran's toll agreements with other countries as your own accomplishment. 😂 Doesn't matter how the ships get through, as long as they get through, the shortages go away. [+11] u/Gom_KBull: # BEAR STEARNS IS FINE [+11] u/Acokanthera: Someone has just opened a $17,300,000 Oil short position. [+11] u/MakeOSUGreatAgain63: I don’t see a world where Iran DOES NOT collect 10% tax on every ship that goes thru the strait going forward It was free for everyone just 4 weeks ago 😑 Baboon president [+11] u/LongCucumber3710: 5 percent up day coming on no news to fuck with the shorts. [+11] u/Internal_Field5970: Nobody gives a fuck about oil.  When was the last time you went to the store and bought a barrel of oil?  That’s right fucking never.  The government is lying to you. [+11] u/OkAlternative7705: looks like we might touch 700 in few hours [+11] u/FullCopy: Markets open. Fake pump. Bols pile on. Persian rug pull. Rinse, repeat. [+11] u/kayvonte: We all probably missed the dip [+11] u/fish_: between sobs, “believe it or not, calls” [+11] u/mklomp7: Can this week be different so everyday I look at my port I’m not down 5k+ [+11] u/2020isgreat: Trump called bulls retarded and they still bought lmao [+11] u/shortitforever: Are the permabulls you used to see on here alive right now? [+11] u/Neel_Crashkari: Sometimes you win, sometimes Hormuz [+11] u/goonerdawggg: One day ill stop masturbating [+11] u/No-Put2311: Bessent might liquidate the treasury [+11] u/slimeystevebob: SPY 350 is not a meme [+11] u/BarbellPadawan: Oil being <120 is actually shocking. [+11] u/Rocky_The_Champion: The Iran guy said to do the opposite. Green day confirmed [+11] u/Jay3377: Monday, Tuesday big green Wednesday Flat Thursday, Friday big big red [+11] u/bluen: Be **greedmaxxing** when others are **fearmaxxing**. —Buffett Algo [+11] u/CPA-hole: Absolute destruction of the world economy incoming [+11] u/2020isgreat: I was told that war is bullish [+11] u/looool_k_libtard: We should raise tariffs while the strait is closed [+11] u/Internal_Field5970: If you ever feel retarded, just remember there are people that unironically invest in Tesla [+11] u/Gom_KBull: # [When daily was bol support group earlier today](https://i.imgflip.com/6hi6mo.jpg) [+11] u/kodaksdad2020: Smells like fuck in here [+11] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: JUST IN Kuwait’s Ministry of Electricity says Iran targeted one of its water desalination facilities. [+11] u/GreedyCommie: "BREAKING Iran strikes Kuwait power station killing one Indian worker: state media" IT'LL BURN. [+11] u/bearhunter429: #Realistically we could have 100+ red days in a row before the next green day LMAO🤌 [+11] u/Haunting-Window-5125: Idk if the market understands trump actually cant taco this even if he wanted too. These aren't tariffs he can just remove, Iran unironically has the cards. He'd have to give insane concessions and the last thing he ever wants to do it look weak [+11] u/Devastaytah: Oh shit my 640c might be cooked 😅 [+11] u/jasperCrow: Wow Mango is gunna go down as the biggest loser of all time if he crashes the stock market. [+11] u/Illustrious_Lion7671: You guys forgot Iran gave 🥭 a very big expensive present? Lol [+11] u/2020isgreat: Yo retards this is the 2nd time he TACOs and the markets dgaf u finally gonna sell or what [+11] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: Lmfao you know 🥭 is only saying this because futes are red. If futes were green he would save this news to pump the market on a red day. [+11] u/Questing4Greatsword: bro can’t stop thinking about transgenders there’s like 6 of them in the continental us what’s the deal [+11] u/runs_with_airplanes: They are going to enact the draft, but they will have an option to buy your way out called Dodge Coins. Can be purchased for $25k [+11] u/whenyournotdead: You know you’re in a recession when you don’t see any gurus selling their shitty courses.LMAO 🤌 [+11] u/Crazyvikng: Atleast i can come here for a laugh while my port is down. [+11] u/AGigatonicxs: Do these boots on the ground need a visa ? [+11] u/whitewashedsyrian: Regards two months ago: Last chance to buy nvidia under 180 😂😂😂 [+11] u/Beneficial_Ad9547: It’s gonna fill the gap and dump to hell [+11] u/Background_Lemon_981: “Why you asking about Epstein? The DOW was once 50,000 dollars!” [+11] u/jetbridgejesus: 🌮 said he wanted to “take the oil” in Iran, possibly seizing the export hub of Kharg Island, the Financial Times reported. 🌮 interview with the FT comes as thousands of US troops massed in the Persian Gulf region, including an amphibious assault team that arrived on Saturday. Portions of the 82nd Airborne is also on its way. 🌮 told the Financial Times on Sunday that “his preference would be to take the oil.” He compared the effort to the operation in Venezuela in January, when the US captured the South American country’s leader, Nicolas Mad-uro, and plans to control its oil industry. LMAO just setup iran for 100s of FPV drone deaths of marines. cant make this up lol [+11] u/0DTEKing: Taco lies started again [+11] u/stupidber: I didnt buy at ATHs I bought at all time middles but im still fuk [+11] u/Heavenisaplace176: Get ready bulls. My psychic powers are feeling something in the air [+11] u/Additional_Problem_1: Remember folks Bessent is not smart, clever, good at his job or previously successful. He’s a clown who should not be taken seriously [+11] u/Pete26l96: wtf just realized press secretary Karoline Leavitt is 2 years younger than me. this whole time I thought she was like 45 lol [+11] u/gkdjsl: Nixon made some mix tapes and had to resign in disgrace. That America might as well be an alien civilization compared to this shit. [+11] u/igotherb: Here me out, we can solve the US debt problem by gambling a small loan of a trillion dollar on 0 DTE spy calls tomorrow. If we fail, we can just print a lil more and do it again. [+11] u/BuffMaltese: Bitch don’t kill my vibe [+11] u/Top_Cranberry_3254: I want the market to recover. But I'm going to be pragmatic and objective here: he is delusional if he thinks it's as simple as he put it tonight that they control the Strait. I expect a major drop tomorrow morning and if not on Tuesday when we find his tweet tonight is futile and misdirected. I'm now in 90% cash expecting lower buy in prices throughout the week. When the troops enter Kharg Island and news breaks of it, the uncertainty is going to cause a major selloff. [+11] u/Bigamungus: Bull sentiment in the thread through the roof on a .01% green candle is peak [+11] u/WingedScapula420: Premarket goes from red to slightly less red and the bols start mooing about “bers fuk”. [+11] u/Gristle__McThornbody: I don't trust this pump. Not gonna fool me again, Spy. [+11] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: “Ah, he’s done for this time” they said about the man who has never once faced consequences in a career spanning 6 decades. [+11] u/Urzuck: Lol Bols really think this won't dump at open [+11] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Yayy we’re pumping back to August 2025 highs [+11] u/tommylol66: Fake pump. Question is when do we reverse [+11] u/hv876: Remember this is profit taking pump. [+11] u/trsx5: Once you understand that the market is a sentiment indicator with no real meaning and valuations and PE , ratio, short interest all that bullshit is just made to justify a price movement but not really grounded in anything else other than “business do good” “business do bad” you’ll realize you’re still a regard. [+11] u/Misrabligen: https://preview.redd.it/phj8gb1dn1sg1.png?width=793&format=png&auto=webp&s=1edfcccc208f486495aea620a6cbbd799f0b2203 Financial advice [+11] u/LengthObjective2253: BREAKING KitKat has announced 12T of KitKat were stolen en route to from Central Italy to Poland https://x.com/kitkat/status/2038313618509377852?s=46 [+11] u/cbusoh66: I will not buy until a crying Bill Ackman appears on CNBC [+11] u/Cav829: Corn is going down harder than a college girl in a Bang Bros vid. [+11] u/apurimac777: Listening to this fucking retard you'd think Hormuz would be open tomorrow and the Iranians would all be dancing in the streets pounding Bud Light hailing their new supreme leader 🥭 [+11] u/wa_2050: These bulls aren’t ready for the next 7% leg down. [+11] u/Whoopziedaisy: It only took 5.5 years of tweeting and truthing crazy ass shit for ppl to catch on that nothing mango says is real [+11] u/WarmCan3034: How the fuck are any college students finding jobs rn LOL [+11] u/brute-forced: SPY -7% YTD so far. Dude is a total disaster [+11] u/No_Video_5232: the best music is created during economic depression. we about to get some bangers if it continues. [+11] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Finally life has meaning again [+11] u/Newlife_40: Oil futures if they are going to invade the straight [+11] u/BrilliantCare8875: Upset about losing money because of teenagers putting a ball through a basket [+11] u/Capt_Chickenpox: Oh boy, desalination plants are quite the escalation [+11] u/shunted22: Why did Biden do this [+11] u/Absolute_Unit_Dog: CLIFFORD. AND. HIS. BIG. RED (Continue?) Y / N [+11] u/sanndman: dude, imagine having to have international relations with this guy and hearing him talk like this. holy shit. [+11] u/Longjumping-One-7022: lol ww3 coming. No more profits baby. Only doom. Prepare yourselves regards. This idiot is the real Antichrist lol. [+11] u/Gom_KBull: **BREAKING:** The war will be over soon**^(TM)** [+11] u/Beagle001: "BREAKING: Donald Trump is weighing a military operation to extract nearly 1,000 pounds (454kg) of uranium from Iran, the Wall Street Journal is reporting" This is like a logline from 90's Nickolas Cage movie. WTF is even happening. [+11] u/Boring-Nectarine-311: this sub is never fucking right. I love it [+11] u/MadHat0815: Oh so you're falling for this shit again huh? just look at WTI and Brent if you want the truth... [+11] u/GhostHashira427: Bloomberg guy says retail stopped buying dips like before because we have run out of stimmy money from 2021…bruh, that money has been gone since…2021. [+11] u/Idlehour_Knives: This whole will he invade or won't he thing is kind of silly. He already fucked up the global economy and wiped out so much wealth and value. The damage is done at this point. I guess it could get worse... But like man he fucked up bad. [+11] u/No_Fig_7835: Iran holds all the cards, oh the irony [+11] u/ConstantSpace5809: Your 🌮 powers are weak, old 🥭 [+11] u/apurimac777: One of the things that pisses me off trading TACO markets is my discipline goes out the window Its just all trading on emotions which is like playing golf high on coke and meth [+11] u/shortitforever: It’s crazy to me that this is the longest losing streak for stocks since 2009 [+11] u/SighRamp: For a real 3% drop in a day, we need the market to open higher build that liquidity up before the rug is violently yanked. [+11] u/Me-Regarded: That's it, I'm gonna go liberate the Strait myself. I have years of video game experience in these type of situations [+11] u/Detonate-Ralph: 🇨🇳🇹🇼⚡️- Xi Jinping is formally inviting Taiwan's opposition leader for a meeting in China. NVDA bagholders getting fukt [+11] u/gkdjsl: lmao even the speaker of Iran's parliament is calling futures fake and gay [https://x.com/mb\_ghalibaf/status/2038348581535425002](https://x.com/mb_ghalibaf/status/2038348581535425002) [+11] u/jfwelll: No volume pumps, high volume dumps. With so many people who will want out on next pump, i wouldnt expect anything green to last. 625 by eow [+11] u/k3t4mine: Oil is up 3% again, but yields are down. Growth shock price action. Super bullish guys, definitely buy this, 100% not fake. [+11] u/TheDudeAbidesFarOut: This pump is so fake. Conditioned to buy the dip. MMs are getting desperate to get money off the sidelines. [+11] u/Lazy-Astronomer-7829: bols are starting to gain confidence and are getting bolder by the minute, means the drill is coming soon! [+11] u/Viktri1: * Oil up * SPX up * VIX up One of these is not like the other. [+11] u/NapNapNapNap: Fake ass pump. We dump at open. [+11] u/Fearless-Hat-3272: ...yeah, the one that already existed... [+10] u/TrumpChildOnahole: Gonna be +4% green tomorrow on a 🥭 tweet, only to be - 10% down eow when idiots realized they've been lied to for the 800th fell for it again award [+10] u/isolated-cat: if you liked MSFT at 350 , you will love it at 250 [+10] u/Academic_Ad7565: Same trick for the last few weeks. It’ll be green around midday and bulls will be like:”bers are stupid ahahhah” then it’ll end the day red and another -2-5% for the entirety of the week. [+10] u/FearlessStatement144: We’re going to get a 3% down day. But not tomorrow. [+10] u/LostandConfused2024: Tbh i don’t really give a shit if the market keeps doing down, because I’m just going to keep buying the dip lmao [+10] u/spyputs1: Idk why but I’m feeling this bish gonna bounce tomorrow for absolutely no reason, MM just doing it for the love of shafting puts then it sells off the rest of the week. [+10] u/Bichael-Murry: PICK IT UP BESSENT MARGIN IS CALLING [+10] u/LostandConfused2024: Well boys, time to get back to work LMAO [+10] u/Bizonistic: I thought deescalation usually means temporary cease fire and negotiations at the table, not more bombings? \#ArtoftheDeal [+10] u/Dbestinvest: My son is taking an online course to become an ordained minister [+10] u/michaelis999: imagine risking all your life savings on the hope that a demented psychopath makes a retarded tweet 🤢 [+10] u/TickTockTaudit: My favorite X account to get trading tips from is the leader of the country we’re at war with. [+10] u/Detonate-Ralph: Desalination facility hit in Kuwait. Bye bols, it was nice to meet you guys 👋🏻 [+10] u/maplessbastard: It’s fucking over boys. It is fucking over. [+10] u/ajibtunes: 🥭to FT: — He wants to seize Iran’s oil: “To be honest with you, my favourite thing is to take the oil in Iran.” — Specifically considering taking Kharg Island, Iran’s main oil export hub — Compares it to Venezuela, saying the U.S. could control oil there “indefinitely” — claims Iran has no real defense there: “I don’t think they have any defence. We could take it very easily.” — Acknowledges it would require occupation: “It would also mean we had to be there for a while.” [+10] u/ten7four: Bols were unironically getting cocky at -0.3% futures LMAO [+10] u/Broad-Belt-5888: Why would Biden do this to us [+10] u/ten7four: Hey did any of y'all get your tariff stimulus checks yet. Still waiting on mine [+10] u/strombollimaker545: Exited my puts Friday, I am no longer gey ber. Green tmrw [+10] u/neutralpoliticsbot: bears forgot stocks only go up [+10] u/2keyed: Enjoy your lower high you dumb bols [+10] u/CigInside: Am I seeing this right? The bol circle jerk is due to futes up 0.04% [+10] u/ConstantAd1: Almost time to lose money. [+10] u/Actual_Difference617: Sell everything and full port into fidget spinners. I promise they are making a comeback. [+10] u/Dear_Respond4522: Feels like the twilight zone when prediction markets are so blatantly overrun by inside trading that people look to prediction markets as the source of truth and it actually works [+10] u/Specialist_Fig9458: Bulls on their knees praying for 🥭 to tweet something and they think this is a sane investment strategy LMAO [+10] u/nyse25: LMAOOOOO BERS Sorry, just practicing [+10] u/Strong_Coffee_9999: I'm thinking the harder and faster the market tanks > the quicker we TACO > the sooner things can start to around. Am I coping? [+10] u/jfwelll: Lot of people are going to want out on the next pump. Lower highs and lower lows still to come [+10] u/Ok_Complaint_3589: #Good old times of 2022 are back again. Me and rest of the bers run amuck across the casino 🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻 [+10] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Iran just hit a water desalination plant in Kuwait. They went from military targets to oil infrastructure to refineries to LNG to airports to now drinking water in a desert country. But yeah this will be over soon. [+10] u/ratfukabich: Imagine owning MSFT 🤡 like a lot of MSFT 🎪 oh wait it’s meee 🤹🏼🐀🤏🏼 [+10] u/gkdjsl: "peace talks are going well" doesn't really work when you just got your $700 million dollars AWACS smoked and you're threatening to "take the oil" [+10] u/oldprecision: The DOW is over....ah forget it. [+10] u/Impressive_Fly_4339: Im gonna jerk off and go to class probably [+10] u/plzplzplztendies: #BOOL LOOKING LIKE FOOL [+10] u/GuiltyShirt3771: Oh our fellow bulls , we are fucked [+10] u/One-Signature-2706: Literally down 0.2%. Lmao. And mfs on here are holding 40-50% IV options. Lmao. [+10] u/shortitforever: Bull spotted at local circle k buying MD 20/20 and kratom pills [+10] u/BigStepMaestro: Believe it or not idk wtf im doing [+10] u/Iscratchmybutt: nasdaq is gonna rip 5% tomorrow. repeat of april 2025 [+10] u/NeuroManXy: Anyone who’s long enough in the markets know that tomorrow is gonna be massive green. [+10] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: LOOKS LIKE GREENLAND IS BACK ON THE MENU BOYS ! FROM VENEZUELA TO IRAN TO CUBA TO GREENLAND 10YR yield gonna be 10%+ [+10] u/Sea_Variety_1691: We're going sub 600 this week [+10] u/BeepBoopDep: Corn has about 66k more to drop before we get to fair value. [+10] u/Character_Pirate_152: Someone from WSB dm'd me and said that if there is a ground invasion they would fly to my house and lick my taint. I am eating spicy indian curry this week to have a nice and ready for you buddy. [+10] u/DENIMSHORTS_840SCORE: Even though im gonna make a god awful amount of money tomorrow, this is pretty fucked up shit. I really would like it to stop [+10] u/looool_k_libtard: If we raise tariffs by 100% on everything we will have at least $100 more. $100 will be half the cost of a barrel of oil. We can buy oil and resell it on eBay for $225. Why aren’t we doing this. [+10] u/bemeandnotyou: WSJ: Trump hasnt made decision on whether to give Iran order. [+10] u/Pojihut: a lot of people about to lose a lot of money [+10] u/ShittyUsernane1222: This isn't a single black swan. Its a bunch of very rabid black swans, very ready to destroy your port all at once. [+10] u/DramaticCustard5209: Bro this site has gone to shit. The censorship is wild. [+10] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: hey guys just moved here from Tehran what’s going on here? [+10] u/jpric155: We haven't really even got to the "liquidations" part yet. Once the market realizes inflation is here to stay and we might actually get rate hikes, you are going to see the wheels start coming off. [+10] u/Worried_Quarter469: -10% correction -20% Bear market -30% ??? [+10] u/soad1331: All this time I thought the FIFA Peace Prize was a joke. That actually happened what the fuck [+10] u/AirportMaterial5917: why did we spawn the way we did [+10] u/samwehl: 🥭should’ve ended on a high note with Venezuela and rode that until next election. Dow would still be 50,000 right now 🥴 [+10] u/SpiderSilvaX: remember guys when people are acting like the world is ending that means you buy more [+10] u/JesseWest: thinking of just taking the rest of the year off and enjoying my gains from last year, good luck boys [+10] u/rollinhating: bam, -0.7% instantly beautiful. [+10] u/Iknowyougotsole: Congrats 🌈🐻 You have permanently won the war. Your puts are guaranteed to print tomorrow. [+10] u/Bizonistic: Made $25 from poker game, after losing 25k in the stock market last week. Feeling very positive [+10] u/Hot-Pop-3250: Can't lose that much with a 4 day week, right? [+10] u/Several_Bread_9144: Remember when tards where sayin buy the dip when we were 2% down LMAO [+10] u/Playful-Sympathy-576: Believe it or not calls [+10] u/newtoeso: My moves for tomorrow are: be ready with lube [+10] u/giraffe_wrassler: You ever seen a woman with a dad bod/beer gut and she wasn’t pregnant?? That’s such a crazy build [+10] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Spy will be up .3%. Bols celebrate Spy opens and dumps 2% Bols say what's going on this is rigged [+10] u/AggieDem: Need to vent. Just looked into my parents' investments. This ass-hat financial advisor had them in ~20 different funds, only to severely under-perform SPY 4 out of the past 5 years (Was down 16% vs SPY's 18% in 2022). So besides Nigerian scammers, make sure you're parents are clued-up on American scammers. [+10] u/LostandConfused2024: Made $49 tonight. Call me buffet [+10] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #20th time bro says "peace deal coming" lmao [+10] u/ismebbb: This guy just called the top [+10] u/Life-Has-Been-Peachy: Plz don’t pet the bears. They grumpy🫣 [+10] u/leshermes: enjoy your dead cat bounce bols, more pain and suffering coming soon [+10] u/One_Confidence_7069: "BERS SUCK LOLOL POST THE HOTLINE FOR BERS" <checks futes> +.02% Dafuq [+10] u/UnDemen: If you believe the 20 tankers story, you arr terminally regarded. [+10] u/orangeyougladiator: Insane thinking SPY will be over 600 by end of week [+10] u/wattap: im missing workouts, missing showers, eating mcdonalds more than i should, look like i rolled out of a sewer 24/7, im waking up in 3-hour increments to check futes would like this to be over soon [+10] u/Capital-Stay-5657: Nikkei down 5% Prolly looking at a -1.5-2% SPY day [+10] u/NeuroManXy: Microslop is only down 0.11% premarket. This is the most bullish sign I have seen in a while. [+10] u/cantTankThisFox: Monday pump to make up for the rest of the week sadness. I've played these games before [+10] u/Urzuck: You get your geopolitical news from fake media outlets, i get mine from strippers, we are not the same. [+10] u/Datsyuk131313: Fuck me I've lost a lot of money [+10] u/GoProVI: Every time you think it can’t get worse, it does. We headed to -20% guys… [+10] u/Emotional-Bag1398: I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE - IRAN [+10] u/OrdinaryMix4013: Antiwar sentiment here is being censured [+10] u/pineapplekiwipen: iran's soon to be supreme leader ghalibaf seems to be a meme lord and possibly also a wsb regular based on his recent tweets this seems incredibly bullish for the markets [+10] u/Boheed: Green +20% tomorrow boys, buy buy buy [+10] u/smoop86: At this rate Up 5% by open tomorrow [+10] u/mrmagootoyou2: The IRGC Aerospace Force’s commander has said that retaliation for attacks on Iran’s infrastructure is under way. Seyed Majid Mousavi said Iran was destroying strategic industries linked to the US and Israel in the region, and that so far, Neot Hovav chemical industries, a refinery, two steel complexes and two aluminum mega-complexes had been targeted. Mousavi added that the “painful strikes” would continue “until we see the pain in your eyes”. -Al Jazeera [+10] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Iran's X tweets might move the U.S. markets more than anything Donny can do right now. Imagine if they get in on some market manipulation to make a few billion. 😂 [+10] u/el-art-seam: We're gonna moon tomorrow! There was a meeting in Pakistan to discuss how to stop the war. Pakistan, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Turkey... hold on, I think they're missing a few key participants... Goddammit. [+10] u/LostandConfused2024: I’m going to have to pay like 100k in taxes this year. **FUCK** [+10] u/Visible_Sir7057: I wish I was an adult in the 90s when stocks always went up [+10] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: 🥭: "10 day pause on energy strikes" Market: "Whatever bro. I don't care" [+10] u/enlightenedfarmboy: Remember things pulled back 25% in 2022 and we weren't even directly involved in that war [+10] u/Locke_____Lamora: Puts on drinking water I guess [+10] u/GamblingMikkee: It’s so over again. We lose 2% daily now [+10] u/hv876: Ya know it’s ok to wait for market to dip all the way to the bottom and bounce a few % up, before you go full ape. You don’t have to try and find the bottom. This is financial advice. [+10] u/hioman01: Buy the dip, more like buy the bag [+10] u/LarryStink: Quants working overtime tonight to rewrite the algos after iran gave up the secret sauce. [+10] u/FuckleUp: Panic Truth incoming [+10] u/Atomic_Hot_Sauce: My 8% 401K contribution on Tuesday is going to save us from drilling. Hold the lines guys, reinforcements are on their way [+10] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: careful BOLS, careful with you cocky regards [+10] u/Burger_Gouger: At least I’ll read new copium from bols “red at night bol delight” Or whatever ghey thing they cheer [+10] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Genuinely 3% on oil already bols stay off the hood tomorrow [+10] u/DTF_Truck: You ever just lay in bed at night and suddenly the realization hits that your entire financial future is entirely reliant on what Trump is going to tweet out while taking his morning shit? [+10] u/Whatevs56: Imagine being trapped on an island full of oil tanks with incoming drones and missiles lol [+10] u/cloud_cafe: Another -2% day easily LMAOO Betting against U.S has never been so easy [+10] u/whitewashedsyrian: Oil up, stocks up. One will roll over soon enough. [+9] u/Fickle-Firefighter11: Upvote if you think Red [+9] u/Significant_Speed854: Operation Bury Files [+9] u/renedotmac: Playing puts is great until a tweet comes out that shoots the market up. [+9] u/rdw0680: 🤡 Just a little short term pain for long term gain. 🤡 [+9] u/Nice-Difference8641: Israel struck Iran petrochemical plant btw which mean’s mango’s pause is dead [+9] u/liikenneaksioma: Getting 2008 but worse vibes [+9] u/NYGiants181: I’m selling for a loss and loading up on USO and shorting everything in sight fuck this [+9] u/TonyMontanaIsNice: Iran this, Iran that How about Urun to lose some weight fatty [+9] u/Retaining-Wall: Bers way too smug rn. Do with that info what you will. [+9] u/BFox1982: Anybody have any ideas on the best way to tell your kids that they're going to need to start working as chimney sweeps? [+9] u/WingedScapula420: I think he's all out of pump on his fake tweets [+9] u/DENIMSHORTS_840SCORE: Isreal hit a un peacekeepers base in Lebanon [+9] u/MakeOSUGreatAgain63: This nonsense will end within 1 month We might be controlled by the rat parasite but the rest of the world isn’t. They will switch to Yuan over USD before they let their countries collapse from food and fuel shortages America has 1 month to decide if it wants to eat shit or lose world currency status [+9] u/SignificanceLate7002: I lost count. How many once in a generation cataclysmic events are we up to this decade? [+9] u/Inevitable_Pilot1353: BREAKING: The Ukrainian attack on Primorsk port destroyed 8 tanks and damaged 5, leaving 72% of storage offline. Primorsk handles about 30% of Russia's oil exports. [+9] u/trsx5: Well this ain’t good. My calls are cooked. [+9] u/Gristle__McThornbody: And this dude wants to send ground troops for some reason we're going to reach liberation day levels when it does happen. [+9] u/trumpdiego: ##played lol with a guy in iran, his connection was shit but man was he a good jungler. said it's pretty nice there except for the bombs and stuff waking him up at night. added him as a friend [+9] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Oil price still climbing. I'm lucky I just got an oil change [+9] u/modder9: Bols are being punished for their hubris [+9] u/modder9: Marco Rubio has the worst job in the world and I love that for him. [+9] u/Jealous_Archer_4522: I don't like this ride. Stop I wanna get off. [+9] u/rdblaw: Crazy we wait for Iran to validate what our president says [+9] u/dayne_stevenson: Are my puts cooked !? [+9] u/gorilla148: SPY GOLD and OIL all going up. Fakest pump ever just wonder which will dump first [+9] u/Lastchoicename: Oil up, so stonks up. What could go wrong. [+9] u/Upstairs_System_6257: Israel reports fire at haifa oil refinery 😂 [+9] u/skychief99: There's no Taco-ing out of this now. [+9] u/cryptopolymath: When Irans parliament speaker is your most accurate risk manager, something has gone structurally wrong with your port. [+9] u/ProudPeak3570: why did joe biden do this to our 401ks [+9] u/All_FIREdUp: “I can open and close the Strait of Hormuz at will..” “Why would you want to close it?” “So I can open it.” [+9] u/benj760486: I'm pretty sure I'll be losing money this week [+9] u/Commercial-District1: I’m going to ban myself from this sub for the next four days. I bet my port increases significantly because of it. [+9] u/Imadogfishhead: You should sell a course [+9] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: Maybe we should have figured out an alternate route for oil during the 50 odd years that Iran was funding random terrorist orgs and proclaiming death to all westerners. [+9] u/SadDevelopment3049: In the morning 🥭 will say something to pump the market [+9] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: Where do bols think oil is suddenly gonna come from? This isn't a case where the Fed can just print oil to save us. There's a 20 million barrels deficit each day. There's less than 2 million barrels a day released from SPR (reserves). To invade Kharg Island, you need to get through the strait first. To get military ships through the strait, you first need to secure islands and miles of coastlines. [+9] u/DriftMint: Been making bank with oil credit spreads, shit is so easy [+9] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: That 10YR yield is going to fuck us hard. [+9] u/spaurake: I love when they’re called the bagnificent 7 [+9] u/Fordperfect90: Israel hitting energy infrastructure in Tehran [+9] u/Comprehensive_Tea388: If Pakistan enters the war, will they name it Operation Epstein Curry? [+9] u/Either-Lie-9000: i'm *too* jacked to the tits [+9] u/National-Log5203: Trump has got to TACO at some point. No way he'll go to midterms with a bear market. [+9] u/patricktu1258: Imagine mango asking have you said thank you in their negotiation [+9] u/mrjim87x: Drill team in 30 minutes? [+9] u/sloanemonroe: I can’t wait to see what the idiot posts in the morning to try to save the market. Pure entertainment [+9] u/vwboyaf1: On the bright side, if we lose 1% everyday, we'll never technically go to actual $0. [+9] u/PompeiiSketches: I guess I should go fill up my tank [+9] u/kanduking: Oil up 20% on 20% global supply cut is sadly not at all panic capitulation and we will 100% see panic if fresh water supply in the region becomes a problem [+9] u/hv876: That pump lasted less than I did [+9] u/whydouhatemecablegod: you're getting turbo fucked tomorrow 🫵 [+9] u/jonneh: No way bro announces to the FT “yaaa we’re gonna take Kharg island” and does it [+9] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: Pizza meter is spiking [+9] u/AstronautPossible374: Pretend I just said something funny [+9] u/Ready_Scratch_1902: it's not even straight , it's got a crazy bend in it [+9] u/ShopWhileHungry: Taco flavored kisses 👁️💋👁️ [+9] u/burtburtburtcg: Bol, sleep tight, don’t let the bed rugs bite. [+9] u/MomentPrestigious180: ❌ S&P 500 ✅ SPY 500 [+9] u/newtoeso: Yo did I just read correctly that Orange said he want’s to take Iran’s oil and it’s his “favorite thing” and people who oppose that idea are idiots? [+9] u/CATLLM: MM exit liquidity pump [+9] u/Pazzaaaaaa: Literally two outcomes. Ground invasion or mango takes a hit on his ego and uses tax payer money to pay off Iran. [+9] u/Coogiez: Bulls are fucked. Berssss let’s goooo [+9] u/Commercial-District1: I refuse to have TruthSocial, so I rely on this sub to tell me what’s happening [+9] u/Signal_Beautiful1133: Waiting for Barron to pump the market... [+9] u/GoldenAries4: There is no group more stupid and clueless than the precious metal bulls. Can they please just be wiped out permanently already? Thanks [+9] u/XeroShyft: Thank God for this pump. I was worried I wouldn't have a good entry for more puts [+9] u/jonneh: Somehow market is going up and oil is higher than it was last week… # By God I think he’s discovered it… pure retardadium ### # 🧪👨‍🔬 [+9] u/Ok_Wealth_3433: Mango is active on truth, here we go [+9] u/wattap: MANGO: "WE'RE IN DIRECT TALKS WITH IRAN" [+9] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: 🥭 just need to tell Iran Thank You and go home [+9] u/Poptart_Salad: TRUMP: BELIEVE WE WILL STRIKE A DEAL WITH THEM FAIRLY SOON || POSSIBLE WE MAY NOT REACH AGREEMENT Can anyone help me, um, parse this statement? [+9] u/bmault: Loving that USO climb [+9] u/Tanpopomon: March - this is the support April - this is it. The bottom.  May - it can't go lower than this  June - this has to be the bottom July - it literally cannot go down more  August - see? I told you! Here's the V! September - that was it that was the V? October - how is it still going down?  November - fuck it, puts December - H-haha told you, bears! [+9] u/Xczf: All signs are saying buy puts at open [+9] u/Les7X: Is it true that jd vance said that he believes ufos are demons? I've read that somewhere, but I simply can't believe he really said that [+9] u/dylanx5150: Sell everything and just buy back lower. Simple. [+9] u/Ok_Location7161: So we cooked Monday morning? [+9] u/altonbrownie: Another day of not opening the app [+9] u/ShittyUsernane1222: Bessent is getting financially ass-fucked by the big green oil prices. He and Bank of Japan should be made honorary members of WSB for their regarded oil shorting bet. [+9] u/bearhunter429: #Futes DRILLIN just as I predicted LMAO🤌 [+9] u/Nervous-Basis-1707: Donald Pump we need you to stunt on these bears for us tomorrow morning at 7:30am with fake peace deals. [+9] u/RollofDuctTape: The Attorney General ducking questions under oath with “BUT THE DOW IS AT 50 THOU” was probably the clearest top signal we’ve ever seen and we missed it. Now we’re going to be poor. Bring back the Covid market. It made us feel smart and rich. [+9] u/avdvetf: mango is going to get us killed [+9] u/Gom_KBull: # Bols were put on this earth for: * donating money to MMs and bers * bagging the fries [+9] u/kodaksdad2020: *CARNIVAL CRUISE SHIPS WILL ONCE AGAIN BE ABLE TO VACATION IN THE STRAIGHT* [+9] u/Internal_Field5970: You guys understand no real people are buying right? [+9] u/BarbellPadawan: Barron must have finished loading calls on Friday right before close. [+9] u/Snowman33001: If you ain’t bullish here, you ain’t black Simple as that. Now watch this drive [+9] u/fish_: futes green .01%, spy 700 tomorrow [+9] u/Own-Wolverine-5361: I see 560-580 🔮 as the decision zone [+9] u/Soffatjockis: Bol desperately waiting for "Now is a good time to buy" [+9] u/marawki: I have a feeling pentagon is running sims on bf3 kharg island [+9] u/No_Assistance5652: [ Removed by Reddit ] [+9] u/Brilliant_Object_847: Iranian parliament speaker already told everyone to inverse it, and he’s the only adult in the room right now as strange as that might be. [+9] u/Independent-Tree-985: CUBA'S GONNA BE NEXT what the hell do we want to exploit from cuba again? [+9] u/Internal_Field5970: What is the war strategy where you tell the enemy you are coming so they can prepare? [+9] u/nolanjp: a senior Iranian security official told CNN exactly that on March 29: Tehran will decide when the war ends... This is our war, and we will not stop defending until we teach Mango and Yahoo a historic lesson. [+9] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: 🥭 just gonna ignore this war and hope it goes away [+9] u/Jealous_Archer_4522: *I strongly suspect my portfolio and my anoos are about to take a big hit.* [+9] u/According-Page8618: do i have a gamblimg problem staying awake at 1 am to watch futues that i cant even trade & have to wake up for work in 5 hours? [+9] u/215aPhillyiated: Spy 600 before 700 was not a meme after all [+9] u/HeavyArmsJin: Calls on Netflix because no one can afford to go out anymore [+9] u/Internal_Field5970: Guys please don’t fall for low volume retardness.  You’re better than that even tho not that much better than that. [+9] u/Miker1730: mango tweets dont work anymore [+9] u/smart_doge: I don’t care about the market, I just want to pay off my loans 😭 [+9] u/dzjay: The market needs to be -20% to make Trump dance. He doesn't seem to care about -7% [+9] u/bzl33: > Early OpenAI investor Vinod Khosla proposes income tax be removed for Americans earning less than $100,000. Lol. Because he doesn't want to be wealth taxed. [+9] u/Historical_Cover8133: Hm, Shanghai slightly green, Nikkei recovered from -5% to -3.5%. Oil still 100+, though. [+9] u/Cstooby: This is becoming a trend - markets end lower on Friday, 🥭 starts blabbering about how the war is over how he destroyed everything and now they want to surrender -> oil prices drop on Monday morning and market pumps -> EOD Monday markets realizes that it was complete bullshit and shits the bed for the rest of the week. [+9] u/Ok_Ant780: What we doing tomorrow Need to turn my $700 into 2000 to pay rent and bills [+9] u/Independent-Tree-985: remember that futures are, have been, and will always be fake [+9] u/bongsmcweed: Not sure why I was so scared about holding qqq puts over the weekend. I’m gay and my dick is small [+9] u/Concerned_Fanboy: can you post end of day tomorrow to tell us how much you lost [+9] u/orangeyougladiator: Funny how the people championing AI are the ones that don’t use it day to day. It’s incredibly shit still. Like, if your junior engineer produced these pull requests you’d fire them within a month [+9] u/DorianSoundscapes: The futes are fake and straight. [+9] u/teh_herper: #No more 2+ % pump days, we are truly fucked [+8] u/TacoAlPastorConQueso: Is everyone happy with 🥭? [+8] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: Any fellow bols still here? [+8] u/Cold_Distribution273: Bols laughed 30 min into overnight only for it to drop right back down, meanwhile oil creeps higher [+8] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: Stripper intel, plan accordingly https://www.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/s/i8e6Tw7ukS [+8] u/davidbigham: Can MSFT stop sucking? Find out tmr. [+8] u/graavejrsdag: The amount of people screaming about Black Monday, really tells me it will be flat as fuck. One thing stronger than the force of a war, is really the amount of options that will get theta gangbanged. [+8] u/Moepenmoes: It's been 2 months already since this sub last talked about shiny rocks, gone are the good times [+8] u/Weak_Emu3659: AL JAZEERA REPORTS GUNFIRE AND EXPLOSIONS IN OR AROUND GENERAL MIDDLE EAST AREA [+8] u/DefiantDelta: can’t wait to watch Bessent fuck with oil all day tomorrow [+8] u/ShittyUsernane1222: Iran and US doing financial warfare via tweets and shit-posts. A sentence which is dreamed by the mind of utterly deranged yet so true it hurts. [+8] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: Even if SPY goes up 1-2%, expect MSFT rocketing a mere 0.25% while Meta continues drilling further in search for oil. [+8] u/bearhunter429: #We are only in the first inning of this multi-year bear market LMAO🤌 [+8] u/borkdpasito: Bols are so regarded. It’s all lies [+8] u/Shot-Welcome-2822: If the dude does end up reaching a deal, doubtful anytime soon, no will believe it until Iran says it. It’s just fucked right now. [+8] u/kal14144: Is this what hope feels like? [+8] u/Sekshual_Tyranosauce: Let me know when the dip is dippiest. [+8] u/larry_hoover01: Big spike on prediction markets for US to enter Iran by 3/31. Wars over though [+8] u/miata_only: I'll probably base my trades this week on the Russian bot posts I've read here on Reddit, you guys. [+8] u/Excellent_Row8297: I’m a perma-bull, but I ain’t gonna lie. I have a bad feeling in my dingle [+8] u/Internal_Field5970: Bitcoin is actually the definition of a cult.  It’s no better than any other crypto, in fact it’s more outdated, and additionally it’s fucking retarded [+8] u/SenileOldDude: Are the voices getting louder for anyone else? [+8] u/Character_Pirate_152: holy shit. Iran is going after their water plants now. It's just fucking over. [+8] u/wilhelm96: KOSPI just gapped down -5% on open. Rip futures tonight [+8] u/shortgamegolfer: Market’s down because of the 30% price increase on PS5’s [+8] u/Certain-Welder1663: wtf 🥭 obsessed with Lettita James rn. Bro you got bigger fish to fry. Jeez [+8] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: Im a gen z and its embarrassing tbh [+8] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: # YOU HELD PUTS OVER THE WEAKEND DIDNT YOU CLOWN ASS BER 🫵🤡 [+8] u/Cold_Distribution273: Jesus 14 more hours for oil to climb overnight and for futes to drop, what, if any magical news will be delivered to us tonight. [+8] u/Nice-Difference8641: WTI crude already responding to Kuwait desalination hit [+8] u/VisualMod: **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/Xelonima** bet **SPY** goes from **632.85** to **600.0** before **28-Apr-2026 09:00 PM EDT** Their record is 3 wins and 4 losses. [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) [+8] u/CMDR_Shepard96: I went long call spreads on META/MSFT/GOOGL like 6 weeks ago. How do you think I feel 💀 [+8] u/Paul_Robert_: The name's Regarded, Extremely Regarded. As a baby, I was shaken, not stired. [+8] u/SilverPrivateer: From Israel: Israel will join the effort against Iran, but won't send "boots on the ground" if US sends ground troops, will consider loophole with marines and navy who are technically "boots in the water" [+8] u/Viktri1: amazing how the market believes mango enough to pump from -0.6% to +0.5% on nothing [+8] u/Due-Dirt-8428: Bulls with a humiliation fetish are going to have an amazing week [+8] u/DownSyndromSteven: I bought 20k Canadian oil the day of the war and people said it was too late on Reddit. It’s up 20% from then [+8] u/PinealTone: So left screen truth social right screen Iran X tweets.. Yep this is my setup for trading. Fuck the technicals and fundamentals... it ain't going to work this year. [+8] u/ALittleWorseEveryday: OMFG FUTES ARE contracts where you agree today to buy or sell something at a set price on a future date [+8] u/Aggressive_Bit_91: Bessent wtf u doin. You asleep at the wheel? [+8] u/shortitforever: Whoever gobbled up that bitcoin dip is a pedo [+8] u/bearhunter429: #Companies like Microsoft, Google, Meta, Nvidia and Amazon have forward P/Es in low 20s for the first time since the bottom of 2022 bear market. LMAO🤌 [+8] u/whitepug: last chance to get in on oil before 300+ [+8] u/cloud_cafe: Gulf countries having to pay in yuan to Iran for trade protection would be so funny The american endless grift might come to an end [+8] u/Actual_Disk9183: I used to be a degenerate gambler Well I still am but I used to too [+8] u/Moepenmoes: Oil futes in 14 min Edit: Sorry, forgot about summer time, 56 more minutes [+8] u/DENIMSHORTS_840SCORE: https://preview.redd.it/eaeh8wxsm2sg1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d2231d1cea90b6e3beec95862e7d4beee6ea108b [+8] u/bidahtibull: I was gutted I missed the tariffs dip, looks like round 2 is here... [+8] u/betyourask: Negotiations going well [+8] u/shortitforever: Whatever happened to GoZukkYourself, the weak and loud type? [+8] u/ShittyUsernane1222: \> Bessent picks an fight with Oil Price \> There is Oil Supply Shortage and increasing short term demand Bessent will become an honorary wsb regard in a few hours due to his extreme financial losses lmao [+8] u/zuziannka: Don’t worry calls gonna print [+8] u/Knightguard1: I wonder if trump is going to bank on invading tomorrow to try and recover the market. Even the stripper index is pointing towards invasion... [+8] u/Unlikely-Evening2919: GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN !!! CASH IS THE ONLY GOOD STORE OF VALUE DURING MARKET CRASHES. [+8] u/Voltthrower69: Operation Epstein’s Fury includes operation meat grinder [+8] u/leshermes: fraud candle appears [+8] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: DDR5 ram prices have fallen for the first time in past few months! [+8] u/kerrykingzgo-T: Is this a crash for ants??!! [+8] u/Abe2025: Is it too late now to say sorry? [+8] u/tgff333: Oh so regime change mission suddenly accomplished? 🙄 [+8] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: call me psycho but im holding some 1DTE $650c LMAO [+8] u/therealcoon: Dead cat bounce. Of course it's not going to go straight down. [+8] u/Assketchum1: Nothing to worry about, it's all priced in. 💀 [+8] u/LoosePussyLucy: Why green??? Did he get eaten by a croc 🐊??? [+8] u/shortitforever: Brokeback Mountain 2 starring tropicalia84 and GoZukkYourself [+8] u/oshdwtf: Your loss is my gain [+8] u/nyse25: VIX +1% nobody is buying this gay ass selloff 😭 [+8] u/DrummerCompetitive20: MU out here trading at a forward PE of 4 and people are calling for another -75% [+8] u/ajibtunes: NEW: Israeli forces will not participate in potential US ground operations against Iran. -Channel 12 [+8] u/Dude_HaHa: # Futures getting culled, just like your future, Bols. SELL. [+8] u/Independent-Tree-985: Bulls are like Hellen Keller pre education. Theyre spoiled and selectively deaf and blind, throwing whatever food they find into their face and when the market tells them its time to learn they have decided theyd rather lose all their money than adapt to reality [+7] u/Bam2458: Will SPY be red for a 6th week in a row? Find out on this week’s episode of “Fuck, it’s all gone.” [+7] u/Rainbow_Frenz4vr: buy the dip THERE ARE NOT GOING TO BE BOOTS ON THE GROUND for the simple fact THERE ARE NO FUNCTIONING PORT FACILITIES TO HANDLE A SEALIFT FOR HEAVY VEHICLES AND SUPPLIES plus it would take at least 1.5 months and thats best case scenario and no you can not fly them there all you amateur armchair generals know zero about logistics [+7] u/LengthObjective2253: Dominos Pizza UK posting about KOTOR remake lol [+7] u/Neel_Crashkari: VIX puts because fuck you [+7] u/Worried_Quarter469: Strait flush vs pair of jokers [+7] u/VisualMod: **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/StiffmeisterSteve** bet **SPY** goes from **632.85** to **645.0** before **30-Mar-2026 04:01 PM EDT** Their record is 0 wins and 1 losses. [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) [+7] u/pinghing: Power outages being reported in Iran after US-israeli strikes [+7] u/Comfortable_Oil6642: Guys FUTES ARE DRILLING WHICH MEANS IRAN SPOKESMAN CONFIRMED BOL ARE SAVED! 😃🤙 [+7] u/Detonate-Ralph: Bet some Trump insiders went long at stocks and/or shorting oil and are getting screwed rn, hoping so [+7] u/Pete26l96: $100K being deployed in the morning, gl hf to me [+7] u/Whatevs56: Bulls getting an erection when futes are flat. A sign of the times 😂 [+7] u/Own-Wolverine-5361: Israel is that one friend that gets you into bad situations. Can US not be friends with Israel? Just block them [+7] u/AloneStaff5051: Is helium a good play boys ? Reading 40 percent helium comes from Qatar and lot of Qatar facilities are destroyed. Helium plays a big role in AI buildout with chips etc. I do own Aspi cause of uranium but they announced last week their helium site will be up and running in south Africa in q2, but I’m sure there are better helium plays out there [+7] u/Virtual_Secretary_98: My portfolio going to be worth a pack of chips at this pace [+7] u/AirwickS: Good news: We only have 4 days this week to lose money. 🐣 [+7] u/cone-in-cup: I don’t think this is under any party’s control to end the war. You can’t just pull out. Imagine this is getting dragged into midterms lol [+7] u/Professional_Con_007: There is no bear or bull or kangaroo that is safe anymore [+7] u/KehreAzerith: Wtf was that for BTC, some fat ass whale sold [+7] u/ThinCrusts: 🌮 won't help you tomorrow, he might do it mid week when you least expect it. They hate when you make money alongside them [+7] u/twenty_three_three: Futures going to start the day at +0.3 while we end at -1.5. [+7] u/ShittyUsernane1222: "buy the dip" what dip? it ain't a proper market dip unless multiple circuit breakers get triggered. [+7] u/ConstantAd1: Barron's been wargaming the ground invasion in Battlefield 3 all week, it'll be fine [+7] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: too bullish in here all of a sudden wait for the pump at open, let it continue pumping for 30-40 min buy puts at 10am, enjoy your new lambo by 2pm [+7] u/d33p7r0ubl3: No one can afford those price increases either [+7] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost /u/TimingEzaBitch made a bet that SPY would go to 690.0 within **1 day** when it was 632.849 and it did not, so they were banned for a week. Their record is now 0 wins and 1 losses [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) [+7] u/Fancy_Cattle_5914: Of course Micron is going to be red on the dead cat bounce day. Fuck me harder, why not. [+7] u/Microwave-Dave: Special shout out to the bros, gals and regards who stole 12 tons of KitKats. [+7] u/quyensanity: SPX 0DTE Calls tomorrow. [+7] u/Ok-Analysis4121: Bruh Iran just messed up whatever fake pump 🥭 had planned lol. It's joever [+7] u/GrandKnew: 🥭 "hey let's start WW3" [+7] u/ConstantAd1: Pam Bondi about to declare the Nikkei at 50,000 [+7] u/BigToe_Switchblade: Smells like 🌈🐻 in here. Do they know that their lube is an oil byproduct? 😡 [+7] u/enlightenedfarmboy: How many of you bought futures contracts on the Shrek candle? [+7] u/DragonFruit-_-777: If you are an MU believer you’ deserve to lose money [+7] u/Independent-Tree-985: Youre going to work yourself in a tizzy and spend all night sleeping poorly. Then your reaction time and instincts will be blurred for tomorrow. Go to bed. Stop [+7] u/zelda_kylo_leia: Pull out your cock gentlemen and pinch the foreskin. Proceed to pee to create a bubble and fire your bubble on my signal. [+7] u/Appropriate-Run-7490: Do you guys ever check ur stories randomly to make sure you didn’t accidentally post a dick pic [+7] u/FullCopy: Iran got bouncers at *The Hormuz*, velvet rope tight You ain’t on the VIP list, you wait outside all night [+7] u/Emergency-Ticket5859: Soon we'll be able to say 'my port was totally kharg'd' and you'll know exactly what it means [+7] u/fundhdjdjksjs: I need to take 4k to 20k by end of April [+7] u/looool_k_libtard: Iran making double what they previously were now essentially turning the strait into a toll both is a hilariously depressing outcome from this. Meanwhile oil is going to be fucking $150-200 soon [+7] u/whatzittoyou_: We good guys i can feel it the calls will print [+7] u/civillyRange: Im gunna need 🥭 to ride a bear shirtless if he wants me to support this Iran thing [+7] u/STONKLEAPS: Fully ported in MSFT. Won’t need much patience [+7] u/OrdinaryMix4013: we would have already had a peace deal under Lamela Larris [+7] u/OrdinaryMix4013: STRAIGHT WAS CLOSED AND NOW RETARD TRYING TO REOPEN IT LMAOOO ART OF THE DEAL [+6] u/Zeppu: Don't think for a moment that we are going to stop falling [+6] u/cbusoh66: Market to 🥭: Fool me once, shame on... shame on you. Fool me—you can't get fooled again... [+6] u/No_Relief_8705: I'm not feeling so good Mr. President... [+6] u/RollofDuctTape: Someone here said they’re putting money in VOO tomorrow. When this place starts making sensible investments out of fear you know we’re truly fucked. [+6] u/kal14144: Have waited so long to say it “bers r fuk” (don’t actually think that but let’s pretend) [+6] u/Arnab_Goswami_RTV: Bought a new bicycle and a induction cooktop, I should be good [+6] u/GroundbreakingAd2757: i’m tired boss, my port is dead [+6] u/boraboca: Red now, Green by open, red by close [+6] u/Smuvmuniz: Dude oil is shrekking bulls are fucked [+6] u/jasperCrow: We’re about to be back to Biden’s prices on the SPY [+6] u/sufficiently7777: War over next week. Can’t wait for the 10,000 “ber thought” comments [+6] u/Similar-Reporter5810: Oil up, gold up, stocks up, dollar up. I'm sure this will hold guys! [+5] u/Ban4Speaking: What company makes coffins for the US military? I want to make some easy money. [+5] u/kodaksdad2020: Hasn’t really been the same in here since they got rid of the pointing Morgan freeman emoji [+5] u/BeyondTheStars22: Brent oil up 2 dollars, edging 116. Futures down 0.7. Bols where is your god now????? [+5] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: As a BER i have to admit the possibility of fake tweets makes me nauseous. [+5] u/OwnHat8882: futes green lmaooooo [+5] u/fish_: the number of retards in the other subs still talking about buying the dip makes me confident the bottom isn’t in yet