Weekend Discussion Thread for the Weekend of March 27, 2026

[+376] u/aegiroth: his speech yesterday saying "i am surprised the markets aren't down more, I thought they would be down more" was the worst quote in regards to markets I've ever seen by him. [+191] u/hey-coffee-eyes: > Musk joined Trump and Modi call on Iran, says New York Times Thank god, we didn't have nearly enough regards involved in this situation [+176] u/Soffatjockis: Lol all these tech billionaires donating all that money to mango just to get absolutely fucked in the ass. What a bunch of cucks hahahha [+159] u/kuporific: The Age of Fuck Around is over. The Age of Find Out has come. [+158] u/TheBlueBlaze: The Dow falling by 10% less than two months after Pam Bondi used it to justify not investigating the Epstein files is kind of hilarious. [+154] u/br0botic: The Bondi Top™ was iconic [+98] u/LasyKuuga: #YOU NERDS TOLD ME WAR WAS BULLISH [+83] u/ChewbaccaIsBear: One day his tweets are gonna BE IRRELEVANT to the market. **Today might have been the first day of that.** [+83] u/2020isgreat: dw bulls it only took 7 years to recover to the peak of the .com bubble [+79] u/MarginCuck: Well I’m retarded Finally hit -99%, down 25k all time. GG, I’m done [+76] u/Muted-South4737: This chat is going to be absolute ghost pepper spicy this weekend. It is a pleasure serving with you fellas. [+76] u/rollinhating: LMAO what kind of world is this.. Even Iran is callin out DJT on his market manipulation.. >Iranian Parliament Speaker Mohammed Bagher Ghalibaf says the US’s spamming of “fake news” to alter the energy markets and push prices down had only made it “numb”. “Keep going, nobody’s buying it anymore. The real prices will show up anyway. Powerful? Maybe. But Smart? Not even close. Burned that fake news card way too early,” Ghalibaf wrote on X. [+75] u/ConstantAd1: >BREAKING: Multiple impacts and casualties have been reported in central Israel due to an Iranian cluster missile attack peace is near [+70] u/No-Insurance100: Speaker of the Iranian Parliament Ghalibaf tweeted that the West "burned the fake news card too early" in order to protect markets [+69] u/charsons: Market closed time to announce next phase of war [+68] u/Bichael-Murry: \> be non wartime trader \> have sleepy joe as commander-in-chief \> just buy calls all day everyday \> win [+67] u/moorhound: Did this fucking guy just: a.) admit he's bypassing congresisonal war approval by calling it a military operation, and b.) give away that he delayed an invasion by a few weeks and will be "going at it very shortly" during active negotiations Someone GET THIS MAN OFF THE STAGE [+66] u/Obvious_Coconut_8432: Only 2 minutes until troops on the ground announcement [+66] u/zurijer: THE FUCKING DOW IS ONLY AT 45K FUCK YOU PAM BONDI [+65] u/Remarkable_Owl: Fuck any and all of you who voted for this [+65] u/slimeystevebob: Nonzero chance that this ends with 🥭 fleeing to Moscow. [+64] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Port: +17% today, +32% week, +5% month, -8% ytd, -88% 1 yr, -95% all time. Hell yeah boys we are fucking so back. [+59] u/dontslambro: 3.5% away from being back to Bidens ATHs [+59] u/Plappedudel: The funny thing is, I'm certain a ton of people on this sub voted for 🥭. Y'all tired of winning yet? [+58] u/rollinhating: "IRAN BEGGING FOR A DEAL; I SAID LETS MAKE A DEAL" - Tweet probobly coming in t-12 minutes [+56] u/RemarkableVictory990: desperate OF girls about to start printing peak content in a recession [+53] u/VariousScenes: You know the admin is talking with Chat GPT right now, trying to construct a string of words that reverses this [+52] u/DahyunDabFan: Korean man sitting next to me on the plane was looking at his stocks shaking his head [+51] u/Tay_Tay86: OPEN THE CASINO. THIS SHIT IS BORING AF. [+50] u/WayDry848: "Stocks tumble as Wall Street nears longest losing streak in nearly 4 years," per CBS “WE’RE GOING TO WIN SO MUCH, YOU MAY EVEN GET TIRED OF WINNING… AND YOU’LL SAY, SIR ‘PLEASE, PLEASE, IT’S TOO MUCH WINNING!’” [+50] u/Molten-Helldiver: My port is more fucked than Bonnie Blue [+50] u/Nanas_700k: Bondi really called the top damn… the exact day [+50] u/gomper: It seems worth remembering that in October 2024 a lot of people were saying they wanted 🥭 because kamala would start a war [+50] u/HolographicHeart: Bessent better remember his password by Monday [+49] u/CPA-hole: Friendly reminder not to kill yourself this weekend [+49] u/HDauthentic: I unironically check this thread first thing in the morning because you guys would be the first ones to tell me if something crazy happens in the world [+48] u/Detonate-Ralph: the US has destroyed around 120% of the iranian missiles, with approximately 260% still remaining [+48] u/2020isgreat: IRAN ON US PEACE TALK HEADLINES: "They’ve spammed so much fake news trying to push energy prices down that the market is just numb now. Keep going, nobody is buying it anymore. The real prices will show up anyway. Powerful? Maybe. But Smart? Not even close. Burned that fake news card way too early." Sadly Iran is not as retarded as bulls[](https://x.com/KobeissiLetter/status/2037623944312721833) [+45] u/ten7four: #0.0% SPY ATHs #-5% HEALTHY PULLBACK #-9.1% <--------------- YOU ARE HERE #-10% CORRECTION #-20% BEAR MARKET #-30% CRASH #-40% RECESSION #-50% IT'S OVER [+43] u/apurimac777: Yes, he really is that fucking stupid. This is what the Adults in the room warned us about on the first go and its exactly what is happening now. I mean fuck even his old man said he's a retarded dumbass [+42] u/Th3Gr33nBastard: I picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue [+42] u/SeaweedLeft9746: A significant amount of this sub idolizes this fat sack of shit [+42] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: “Woods was reported to have been checking his Robinhood account minutes before the crash” [+41] u/Idlehour_Knives: My portfolio has lost about $770k in the last month or so. Thank you 🥭 [+41] u/Detonate-Ralph: YOU WERE EXIT LIQUIDITY 🫵🏻🤡 [+40] u/No-Put2311: Iran just launched more missiles at Israel, looks like they have 630 SPY puts [+40] u/sha1dy: # JESUS FUCK WE ARE FUCKED [+40] u/Vegetable_Push6542: Half of r/ValueInvesting aped into garbage like ADBE NVO DUOL PYPL and got wiped out. The surviving half decided to yolo into MSFT and GOOGL thinking big tech was a safer bet only to get wiped out as well. Full on genocide of the ValueInvesting bulls. [+40] u/PunchingAgreenbush: Surprised the idiot hasnt threatened them with tarrifs yet [+39] u/AnxiousFrame6696: What the the fuck are we watching guys [+38] u/M1BG: apology for poor english when were you when ceasefire is kill? i was on kharg when phone ring 'spy is kill' 'no' [+38] u/Boheed: timing the market beats time in the market [+38] u/Fast-Reply6409: All he had to do was sit back and take credit. The economy was on the mend, inflation was dropping. The Fed would have dropped rates. Between that, his tax cuts and the AI hype, the economy and the stock market would have skyrocketed. He could have silently grifted and taken all the credit. But nooooooo, we gotta keep doing dumb stuff. [+37] u/SilentExtinction: Imagine the fucking pump if impeachment goes through. [+37] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: It's still tanking in AH. We are fukt [+37] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: "I won the youth" Is he finally talking about Epstein island? [+36] u/Straight-Fix-8434: The real winners are people who have jobs during this potential recession [+36] u/WestBrink: He is truly the dumbest motherfucker on this planet. Where's this going? [+36] u/xTeeD: I don’t know why you guys are worried. There’s not enough room on the signs at gas stations to charge more than 9.99 [+34] u/Character_Pirate_152: imagine being tiger woods with a billion dollars and limo drivers, but still drive when wasted. [+33] u/maximuminimum: Why can’t the oil tankers just print the Quran 🤲 on their hulls and go through the strait… https://preview.redd.it/550pve1bhnrg1.jpeg?width=980&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=391f322482260b5eadeec4ad079f72faf962bd57 [+32] u/tombrady011235: Remember when Obama normalized relations with Cuba and for a brief moment we were able to vacation there [+31] u/svpa3991: Mango starting the war to distract from the files then Iran just hacks the FBI anyway lmao releasing the files would be the ultimate troll move [+31] u/TarrifJacksonJr: Trump has lost his mind lol [+30] u/FaradayPhantom: “The DOW is at 50,000” really was the top, huh. [+30] u/Davidhate: Jesus Christ this guy has dimentia [+30] u/noahmfs: If senate invoke the 25th amendment and 🥭 is removed from the power I believe we hit 700 in spy in one single day [+30] u/ewzetf: Peace should be the prime goal now to calm the markets. I say we hand over mango and his cabinet as part of any deal. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. [+30] u/AwarenessOk5979: Bulls are LITERALLY like: "well 3000 marines haven't entered the meat grinder today so I guess that means we pump 3% tomorrow" cope harder [+29] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Meanwhile: US MILITARY AIRCRAFT DAMAGED IN STRIKE ON SAUDI AIRBASE: WSJ [+29] u/Internal_Field5970: Damn that was my final 🥭 speech I can handle Made me physically sick - none of it matters anyways and the memes are stale and bad [+29] u/thewiggen: I don’t know a single person who says gulf of America [+29] u/Character_Pirate_152: it's been nearly a month and we still don't really know the actual reason for the war in the first place. What a useless sack of shit. The only thing that makes much sense is "Bibi" coerced him into doing it. [+29] u/smart_doge: Why are we at the war? Because the strait needs to open. What made it close? The war. [+28] u/Material_Formal3679: When the election results were announced I had a panic attack like a real libtard, thinking this whole thing was gonna get really shitty. The day after I was like… maybe that was a bit of an overreaction. I’m starting to think my body reacted appropriately lol [+28] u/br0botic: Spy has effectively gone nowhere since last July [+28] u/Ill-Expression1737: he really fcked this up didnt he [+28] u/Soffatjockis: Qatar pulling out is peak lol. Probably regretting giving mango a jet now haha. Cucks. Iran won the war with a few 20k drones versus a multi trillion dollar army. You can't make this shit up. [+28] u/StraitOfHummus: "The hardest part of a two-week military operation in the middle east is the first few years." - Sun Tzu [+28] u/No_Current3675: # [🥭 is a goddamned retard](https://archive.is/EHrdg) [+27] u/scooterhomeimprover: I’d feel bad for the bulls if they weren’t such insufferable people the last 5 years. [+27] u/ShittyUsernane1222: I have a feeling people overestimate the intelligence of the elites. Reminder that these are people which were born into wealth and potentially always used money to remove records of academic failures and could always hire someone else to do the thinking for them. that kind of academic failure flowing up into military, economic, social and political structures caused the current shitty financial predicament of the US. [+27] u/Noble_Bastard: Israel pulled the strings, while the US went to war with Iran, just so Israel could quietly annex parts of Lebanon. The whole thing is fucked up. [+27] u/Initial-Magazine2169: The astounding lack of common sense of some commenters in regards to this geopolitical quagmire (for example, "Iran could be taken in weeks or months") has really lifted the veil on how we got here in the first place. People are simply fucking stupid. [+27] u/alone-in-the-chat: I really hate the MF [+27] u/sunmbitch: Good thing I make decent money so I can replenish the $1500 I lose every week fuckin with this 🥭 [+27] u/NotMe357: If Oil keep pumping like this. Bessent is gonna get Margin Calls. He will becomes one of us soon 🥰 [+27] u/No_Relief_8705: I cannot masturbate to this. [+27] u/bigbootytrudyyy: The new objective of the war is to open the strait….. which was open prior to the war [+27] u/Bichael-Murry: Barack Hussein Obama's Market [+27] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: 🥭: "The objective of this war is to open the strait" "Sir wasnt the strait open before the war started?" 🥭: "Who invited this guy? Is this fake news CNN? You're the worst network!" [+27] u/No_Current3675: Or, we could just prosecute child rapists. Just saying. [+26] u/Initial_Ad_9250: Boomers were the most spoiled fucking generation. Fuck 'em [+26] u/Aggravating_Sir_4709: Bulls had 6 months of free gains for doing nothing, yet got so greedy and expected even more gains for doing little but ride the AI wave. Not only that, but also mocked bears when the market went up after all the bad news headlines were priced in almost instantly. Now they're seeing those gains evaporate and are expecting someone to save them again. You became the exit liquidity after the 1000th dip. [+26] u/MachDiamonds92: "I'm a big believer in genes" ah shit, it's 1933 all over again [+25] u/astrawberryandakiwi: Lol @ 🥭 shitting on the UK while asking for help [+25] u/sha1dy: # WHAT THE FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT? [+25] u/carcotasu081: How did you guys vote for this moron, holy shit [+25] u/octopus4488: Just learned that the Orange Winner is kept informed about the war by what is effectively a Tik-Tok reel. (2 min video highlights of US strikes) I did not want to know this. [+25] u/AdditionalActuator81: Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has proposed building oil and gas pipelines across the Arabian Peninsula directly to Israeli ports. He argues this would bypass regional choke points, such as the Strait of Hormuz and the Bab al-Mandeb Strait, amid heightened tensions with Iran. And there you have it folks they want control of the oil and who gets to use their ports to get it. [+25] u/dqdg: At a No kings protest. Feels good [+25] u/McKoijion: If the market was open, we'd be hitting circuit breakers right now. [+24] u/WonUpH: US has fascism and I don't know how to trade around it [+24] u/Wowmuchrya: Spy would skip 700 and go to 800 if this retard got impeached by Monday. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! [+24] u/Worried_Quarter469: SPY delisting by end of month [+24] u/Ahzmer: Pakistan holding peace talks, tone is promising! Too bad Iran and US and Israel were not invited or taking part. This will surely lead to a breakthrough! [+23] u/RollofDuctTape: Occam’s razor says the dummies in the administration figured this would go like Venezuela. And they didn’t calculate any of this happening. So now they’re looking for the cleanest exit and realize it’s an extended ground war because Iran isn’t going to negotiate unless we bend over. None of this is priced in because no one in the admin anticipated any of it. Market is praying for taco but it’s not coming because it’s not possible. Even if 🥭 decides to leave tomorrow Iran won’t stop. We’re going down down baby [+23] u/HonestPotential1936: did he put on a fresh coat of paint [+23] u/moorhound: "I'm a big believer in genes, by the way" what the fuck man [+23] u/barkwoofgrrr: The only people more stupid than 🥭 are the ones that think he's smart [+23] u/Tay_Tay86: Remember when covid was just two weeks And people fell for this war just going to be two weeks again [+23] u/AbrocomaNegative825: I dont think anyones done a proper job of documenting how peak the late 90's america was for like the entire human race. > nearly every single neighborhood had massive block partys every.single.week. streets shut down, thousands of people all around and tons of people just opening their doors to each other. Basically like NYE levels of partying but weekly. > No social media, and you either called your boy on landline or just knocked on the door. Youd get EXCITED when you heard knocks on the door. "Oh i hope thats bob! 😃" > Everyone owned a home and the aesthetics were insane. What we might consider a cluttered home was considred cool back then. > papason chairs 😩 > Everyone had sex. The social climate was so interactive that even the geekiest of sweaty nerds could get it in at some point and raise a family > the music was so good theyre still playing that same shit on the mainstream radio stations today [+23] u/Mast3rfinish25: Japan announced they as a country will publicly short oil come Monday in an attempt to end this crisis. Now this is podracing [+23] u/apurimac777: This is exactly the kind of crazy shit Frank Reynolds would pull to distract from *alleged* kid diddling [+23] u/McClintockC: It's like Hitler, but more retarded 🤔 [+23] u/UsernameTaken_123: How TF u the literal FBI director and manage to get hacked by opps lmao [+22] u/Celticsmoneyline: rotation into Pokémon [+22] u/Ok-Piano8789: how hasnt someone done it yet, ya know? [+22] u/WSB-mods-are-: Guys this girl might be the one. First date is coming up. I think I'll hit her with the same card trick 3 times and jump straight into politics before the appetizers arrive. [+22] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: Steve Witkoff: "We think there will be meetings this week." U.S. is "hopeful" for direct talks with Iran, first real sign of face-to-face since the war kicked off Lmaoooooo WE THINK HEAD ASS BOY [+22] u/SomePolack: Have a great weekend everyone! Remember, this is all the last dying breath of a hateful generation and the future can be better 🫶🏻 [+22] u/IlinistRainbow6: i’ve lost 15 months of gains in 2 weeks [+22] u/No_Relief_8705: I feel like I have dementia listening to this shit [+22] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: I hope YOU 🫵 have a good weekend [+22] u/burtburtburtcg: Where can I trade pasts? [+22] u/UsernameTaken_123: I remember when I was a kid and thought adults knew what they were doing lmao [+22] u/MrNewking: “We had a good thing, you stupid son of a gun. We had JPow. We had stability. We had everything we needed — and it all ran like clockwork. You could’ve kept quiet, led, and we could’ve ridden this thing out. SPY was steady. The markets were calm. It was perfect. But no… you just had to tank it. You and your Iran. Your tariffs. Your ego. You just had to be the man, didn’t you? You had to stir the pot, rattle the cages. If you’d just done your job — known your place — we’d all be fine right now.” [+22] u/Ok_Cry7572: Trump is set to do an interview tonight at 8pm with Fox news Get your popcorn ready [+22] u/Comfortable_Oil6642: Just me or has orange man and the administration been incredibly quiet on Iran over the weekend? [+22] u/spellbadgrammargood: Men used to have the ability to afford to have a second family on the other side of town. [+22] u/Apfelmoes_: Hope I'm wrong but I think the sell-off is only just getting started. Seems like the one time where bers are right in predicting that the world is about to end. This lying piece of garbage is driving us directly off a cliff. [+22] u/NotMe357: If Iran got their hands on Epstein files then they'll force TACO to attack Israel lol [+22] u/sha1dy: # SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT? [+22] u/Datsyuk131313: “NATO should have come to our aid I’m so surprised” dude you’ve literally been taxing them since April. Fuck off. [+22] u/Detonate-Ralph: Relax bols, America has destroyed approximately 140% of the iranian missiles + launchers already. There's only about 380% remaining. [+21] u/Ssjalexgd4: I think I miss my Biden [+21] u/OrdinaryMix4013: holy fuck reddit removing anti war comments wtf [+21] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: Fat people should just shit more. Skill issue [+21] u/StraitOfHummus: T-Minus 20 minutes till Mango tweets his traditional after hours "war going well" tweet. [+21] u/Amazing_Plankton744: Thankfully we switched over everything to renewables, battery storage, hydrogen and nuclear just in time. [+21] u/ShittyUsernane1222: the probability that 🥭 leaks nuclear codes live on tv is low but not zero. [+21] u/SnickersTheDog: if he mimics the accent of just ONE more race by the end of the day, I win a ton on polymarket [+21] u/WrexyWrex: “.. With tariffs pushing Canadian aluminum elsewhere last year, American companies became \*increasingly reliant\* on imports from the Middle East .. “.. Those sources are now imperiled by the Iran war ..” 🤡 [+21] u/DarkR124: “Pentagon preparing for weeks of ground operations in Iran, WSJ reports”. Pucker your butts. Things about to get messy. [+21] u/Repulsive_Actuary992: Who voted for this guy [+21] u/BjergBetterThanFaker: we had to do this because she had a weird laugh [+21] u/modder9: This place is much better when run by bers. [+21] u/2tapbaptise: https://preview.redd.it/ycwrlgeivtrg1.jpeg?width=1300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2e39d748cc25b1c85ee8543a0abb83becdd45441 Why do I feel like this is how Boots in ground gonna be [+21] u/SomePolack: I’m bearish af but I’m not dumb enough to think there won’t be some rally Probably green for at least part of Monday, dump the rest of the week going into long weekend [+20] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: FIRE PUM FIRE PUM FIRE PUM - MANGO [+20] u/McKoijion: Bruh, this is worse than Biden's final speech before he was replaced with Kamala. [+20] u/StraitOfHummus: Mango just told the crowd they can ask any questions, even about sex. To the Gulf countries. Amazing knowledge of the region. [+20] u/peterpeer9: apparently i have to "wake up" (?) and "get out of bed" (?) because it's "saturday" (??) and we have "things to do" (???) [+20] u/NiceJobSon: Already driving less and buying fewer groceries. Looking forward to hunting small game with my cat this summer. [+20] u/Noble_Bastard: I dunno, maybe Kegsbreath wasn't the best choice after all. [+20] u/_Netgirth: Starting to do some renovations on my parents basement, I’m gonna be here awhile [+20] u/sha1dy: # IRAN WAS 2 WEEKS AWAY FROM NUCLEAR WEAPON IN THE LAST 25 YEARS [+20] u/awstick: Anyone get the feeling that pretty soon we're going to be looking back at last April's panic as the good ole days? At least then the global crisis was easily reversable. [+20] u/No_Current3675: What an epic fuckup. All because he raped a 13-year old. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! [+20] u/Ok_Cry7572: There's no April fools day this year because every day is a fucking joke. [+20] u/YeahPlayaaaaa: Harris timeline has SPY at 760 btw [+20] u/duma0610: All I hear is Iran this and Israel that. Iran out of coffee this morning and the struggle Israel. [+20] u/jasperCrow: Everyone is waiting on the edge of their seat to hear good news so they can ape hugely into the bottom. [+20] u/memmolemmo: Pentagon looking for suppliers who can deliver bunkers in 3/5/15/30 days. Ground invasion is all but guaranteed. Anyways, buy the dip this week, as bear market rallies are best opportunities to make $$$. [+20] u/Consistent_Chart_664: Kinda funny how the Persians got defeated at the battle of Thermopylae (the famous 300) because the Spartans (the West) used the narrow geographic features of the Hot Gates to their great advantage by funneling the Persians into manageable numbers against their highly trained phalanx formation “like waves crashing against the seawall” and now the Iranians are using the narrow strait of Hormuz to their great advantage in this war, by making the West its bitch because they control the narrow straits. It’s like the Persians learned their lesson from history and our military commander ignored everyone to get us into this absolute mess. Unfortunately for us this time there’s no hunchback weirdo willing to stab the Iranians in the back to feel some titties. We’re fucked. [+20] u/BadBoyBilbo: Weekend thread is lit rn. I’m reading a bunch of relevant and articulate comments. And it’s because the bears are in charge. Too fucking smart for their own good, though. It’ll prolly be green af on Monday. [+20] u/Cold_Distribution273: Israel just loves killing journalists huh [+19] u/probably-ck: Feeling less worried about holding my puts over the weekend now [+19] u/Historical_Bother274: Hello im from the future Monday: +0.5% -> bols start to get cocky again Tuesday: +0.1% -> "the bottom was in" "lmaoo bers" Wednesday: -2% Thursday: -1.5% Friday: -12.13% [+19] u/SovietPower777: At some stage SPY will go up from 605 to 610 and bulls will be screaming: "It's over bers" [+19] u/Subspace13: Iran hackers missed a massive opportunity to photoshop some dicks on some of Kash Patel's photos. [+19] u/pineapplekiwipen: we spend almost a trillion on our military and we can't even beat some goat herders into submission money well spent [+19] u/No_Relief_8705: Is Iran just stupid vietnam [+19] u/Responsible-Rip8793: ***BRO HE IS THIS BAD NOW, JUST IMAGINE HOW HE WILL BE IN 2 MORE YEARS. YIKES*** [+19] u/mapsosa: cUbA iS nExT boss i’m tired 🫩 [+19] u/Mr_Worst_Timing: I thought everyone on this sub was regarded including myself until I saw the conservative sub. Wow! [+19] u/Detonate-Ralph: Don't worry bulls, 🥭 said we've destroyed around 160% of iranian missiles already. Only around 400% missiles left. [+19] u/infinitewaters107: Signs of the top we all missed: 1.Clavicular getting mogged by ASU frat leader 2.Pam Bondi declaring Dow was at 50k 3.Britney Spears DUI [+19] u/RollofDuctTape: There are people out there who hear this guy talk and think “wow, what a smart and competent man.” [+19] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: One time in college, I was at a big party. Took some acid. Ended up sitting in the bathtub driving it around for like 6 hours. People would come in the bathroom and id just tell them to get in the back and point behind me in the tub. [+19] u/iTouchStuff: tiger woods has had 3 crashes / DUIs . markets were up following all of them 3 month avg +9% 6 month avg +15% 12 month avg +14% LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOO [+19] u/Smile-Nod: The Jeffrey Epstein Memorial Strait [+19] u/ThouOne: What the fuck is the point of the war? Fucking making our bags heavy. Imagine being in the highest position of a country only to be a dog on a leash. [+19] u/1M-to-Zero: Trump: You have 48 hours to open the Strait of Hormuz. Iran: We will not open the Strait of Hormuz. Trump: Then you have one week. [+19] u/McKoijion: The YMCA ending is the cherry on top. [+19] u/skin_flute_player: Going on a date tonight and I’m going to show her the losses in my portfolio in hopes that she feel sorry and pay for dinner (Chipotle). [+19] u/ConstantAd1: >Ukrainian attack drones just hit Russia’s Yaroslavl Oil Refinery, setting it ablaze. Ukrainian forces continue their impromptu rapid campaign against Russian oil infrastructure, setting fire to Russia’s 5th largest refinery. oil calls were the play [+18] u/rollinhating: no 15 min after close tweet???? whats happening [+18] u/Brilliant_Object_847: **ON THE 14TH OF MARCH 1857 A TREATY WAS SIGNED THAT WOULD STOP THE DANES FROM COLLECTING A TOLL ON SHIPS PASSING THROUGH THE ÖRESUND. A SOUND TOLL THEY HAD UPHELD FOR OVER 400 YEARS. THIS WAS IN PART THANKS TO THE USA.** **NEARLY ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY YEARS LATER, IRAN ESTABLISHES A TOLL THROUGH THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ, THIS IS ALSO IN PART THANKS TO THE USA.** **THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER** ^**LMAO** [+18] u/ercanbas: Tehran talks have started. I am monitoring the situation. [+18] u/jonneh: Is Tiger Woods driving this market?? 😭😭 [+18] u/ProfessorAkaliOnYT: hahahaha wtf am I listening to [+18] u/burtburtburtcg: Actually tho what is he talking about? [+18] u/_Fibbles_: This is death of an empire type shit [+18] u/abroadbroadband: Come on bro, you're the FBI director How the fuck did the opp hack your fucking email [+18] u/think_harder_plz: any living human would make a better president [+18] u/NaiveMercury: If SPY drops just another 4%, we'll be back to November 2024 levels But the thing is, the USD has dropped 10% in value since, so we'll technically be down 10% since -10% in 18 months is a fucking recession market, who in their right mind is still calling this a bull market? **Now it's the time to buy** [+18] u/Soffatjockis: So mango got two options: 1. Pull out and make a deal with Iran - Iran will tax ships through the hormuz and will speed up development of nukes so Israel can't pull this stunt again. Irans power in the region will grow exponentially in the coming years. 2. Invasion - Iran will send a barrage of drones and missiles towards the Arabics and destroy most of their oil infrastructure while the US will be stuck in a war for years that nobody wants and with a very uncertain outcome. [+18] u/Ok_Cry7572: it’s funny we used to think we’d have flying cars in the future but we just got unemployment instead [+18] u/ConstantAd1: IT'S TIME TO PUT BOOBS ON THE GROUND [+18] u/CATLLM: “Iran strikes Gulf aluminum plants as Israel targets steel” They are destroying industries now [+18] u/sloanemonroe: In an alternative universe Harris is pres and Fox talks all day and night how absolutely awful it is that billionaires are paying an extra 1% in taxes. SPY is at $720 and oil is at $53. Also, Powell is expected to lower rates at the next meeting. [+18] u/dontslambro: Holy fucking sell off [+18] u/ten7four: I called some dude retarded two days ago for buying 4/17 SPY 540 puts. Still think he's retarded but you know what if he gets a lambo out of it he earned it [+18] u/Internal_Field5970: Cracks are beginning to show 🥭 decisions Noem ✌️  Bondi disaster K@sh leak [+18] u/burtburtburtcg: It’s well documented that Bol R Fuk, but I’m starting to think we might all be a little fuk when the dust settles. [+18] u/Salty-Bid1597: Kids I got a three day ban for mentioning the constitutional amendment that comes after 24. [+18] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Tom Lee: How the Strait of Hormuz and the Bab El-Mandab Strait closures are actually good for the markets [+18] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: *Guy shows up and lights your house on fire....* It's the people who live in this house that need to put it out. I have my own house, it's not on fire. I don't need this house. 🥭 Logic [+18] u/Salty-Bid1597: Imagine Jordan decides to choose this moment to take back the West Bank, finds the IDF are all in Lebanon and Gaza and pushes right on to Tel Aviv. [+18] u/No-Put2311: Upvoting everyone in comment threads to make them all think someone agrees with them [+18] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Hell of a day. Bers have won. We don't even have a future. If we make it out of this we should consider making everyone take an IQ test before they are allowed to vote [+18] u/SeaweedLeft9746: Why are bulls still posting here? You lost, your losers. Go back into your (butt) holes. [+18] u/confused_teabagger: Listen, I know Pakistan is the most trustworthy and reliable country on Earth, but I have a gut feeling that there might not be a deal. [+18] u/Soffatjockis: Americans: goes out to protest for a few hours, goes back home to the sofa, pops a can of beer, goes online and order some shit on amazon and then flips on the TV. "I truly made a change today" [+18] u/SoloOutdoor: I like how people try to compare this to other financial events. You had a housing crisis OR a tech crisis OR one other singular fallout. This fucking goonbag has 15 fuckups going at once while ai is running rampant. [+17] u/TomatoSpecialist6879: Man he is breathtakingly retarded [+17] u/Vega10000: Vance looks like someone who would get his ass taken hostage [+17] u/LasyKuuga: # DOES BRO REALISE HES NOT MEANT TO ADMIT THAT😭 [+17] u/boztron: Sold everything yesterday. [+17] u/RoyalFail6: The difference between the Iran war and the Iraq war is that we already know that we lost the Iran war days after it started 😑 [+17] u/Bravadette: Another 10k soliders [+17] u/TruckHorus: I’m tired of buying the dip [+17] u/a_human_21: Damage has been done this week, let's prepare for next week's damage [+17] u/ckami_91: The bottom is not in… Wait until wallstreetbets puts up a bull suicide hotline thread LOLLLL [+17] u/bringkiteback: Imagine Iran hacked the broadcast and played videos of 🥭 raping kids [+17] u/No_Relief_8705: Is this how the musicians on the Titanic felt? [+17] u/No_Relief_8705: Holy fuck this is actual CIA torture. [+17] u/magneticpasta9: No way did he say "thought it would be a bigger drop" again? This pos [+17] u/Specialist_Fig9458: Bulls thought he was about to give the next Gettysburg address and we’d enter a 100 year bull run. They must have forgotten he’s a retard LMAO [+17] u/Whoopziedaisy: Lmao imagine listening to Mango talk and thinking “I’ll vote for this guy!” [+17] u/TomatoSpecialist6879: We are about 34 minutes away from the retard suddenly announcing boots on ground [+17] u/ComfortableWolf779: Honestly how the fuck did he get elected twice? [+17] u/Historical_Bother274: The Houthi's joining the war and blockading the red sea wont be seen by most Americans as a threat since they dont know the difference and cant pinpoint those places on a map anyway [+17] u/Sidney_Godsby: What’s the difference between a golf ball and a Cadillac? Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball 300 yards [+17] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: The D̶o̶w̶ troops are 50,000 [+17] u/Muted-South4737: BREAKING NEWS: HEADLINE ALIGNS WITH YOUR CONFIRMATION BIAS [+17] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: Are the boobs on the ground? [+17] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: 🥭 waiting to see what futures opens at before he gives any orders. Baron's options are on the line [+17] u/AbrocomaNegative825: This crash will create millionares faster than any other crash before it. Youre gonna see litteral regards pulling up in lambos by the dozens [+17] u/HuckleberryFit4084: Bad day to quit drinking… [+17] u/WrexyWrex: The Fed's worst nightmare is materializing in front of our eyes. What is often overlooked is that the Fed primarily controls demand-side inflation, not supply-side inflation. In other words, it can influence how much people borrow and spend, but it cannot directly increase supply, like producing more oil. This means that in the case of a supply-shock, as we are seeing now with energy prices, the Fed often has to overcompensate on the demand-side to contain inflation, and vice-versa. During the pandemic in 2020, this meant effectively cutting interest rates to zero, as lockdowns triggered a sharp collapse in demand alongside widespread supply disruptions. With oil and gas prices skyrocketing, our models suggest US CPI inflation is set to rise toward 3.5%, or 150 basis points above the Fed's long-run target. In a vacuum chamber, this means the Fed should tighten policy and theoretically hike rates. However, the issue becomes the fact that the US labor market is objectively at its weakest point in years, and it has not improved despite recent Fed easing. Therefore, if the Fed hikes interest rates now, the US is positioning itself for a full-blown labor market crisis. On the flip side, if the Fed does not tighten its policy stance, US CPI inflation could potentially even exceed 4.0%, depending on how long the Iran War persists, and how long the post-war recovery takes. In a sudden turn of events, the Fed is now forced to pick between 3.5%+ inflation or 5.0%+ unemployment. The Fed is in a very bad spot. [+17] u/jonneh: This mfer 🥭 just said Cuba next # Dow 50K was really the top bros 😭😭 [+17] u/boraboca: Lots of losers, he’s talking about you buls [+17] u/Illustrious_Job1951: I've seen enough, give the man a third term [+17] u/Special-Age6210: Not looked at the news and markets all week, for probably the first time in 10 years. Had my buddy put to sleep, after 14 years together. [+17] u/hey-coffee-eyes: Oh OnlyFarms is real, I thought it was a joke [+17] u/Gom_KBull: Seeing way too many bols talking shit, not enough bagging the fries like they should. See yall at 600 😘 [+17] u/wildcrab9: The funniest thing about this whole “war operation” is that the Iranians will now be dead set on getting a nuke. They know it is the only deterrent [+17] u/AggieDem: It's one Boeing E-3 Sentry, Michael. What could it cost, $10? [+17] u/avdvetf: it’s all for you Jeffrey 🙏 [+17] u/2c-b_day: I had a moment this weekend while playing with my son. He told me I was his best friend. In that moment I suddenly realized how fuk my calls are. [+17] u/AfraidAnalyst: One of these day, it’s going to be the bottom. Some poor regard is going to finally switch to puts. Then the market will V by like a 3.5% day. They will post in the morning before open “full porting puts today, fucking lost almost everything trying to be bol” By 4pm, they will be furiously punching air Not today. But one day [+17] u/apurimac777: This is what happens when your Secretary of Defense thinks reading is for f*gs [+17] u/Independent-Tree-985: Bulls are #Lossmaxxing [+17] u/twostroke1: I may be retarded but I think the Iran war is being used as a scapegoat to divert blame from all the other economic cracks and shitstorms that are unfolding. It’s the oldest trick in the book. Going through economic trouble? Start a war. [+16] u/dontslambro: S&P-500 AND NASDAQ-100 ERASE 7 MONTHS OF GAINS IN 3 WEEKS [+16] u/CapDris116: Yo I'm thinking trump lied about this war being short.... [+16] u/ShittyUsernane1222: US economy before 🥭: Dumpster Fire US economy now: Dumpster Fire but there is an regard (🥭) throwing oil into it. [+16] u/skychief99: FYI.....The market is WAY HIGHER than the 52 week low. LONG WAY DOWN to GO............................. [+16] u/tcarm1: This speech is making me dangerously close to going 100% cash even if I have to take losses [+16] u/AgitatedJump8459: So ready for the biggest dump of the century with 95% CASH [+16] u/abroadbroadband: "Cuba's next by the way" What?! Why does he keep saying these random things mid-sentence?!?! [+16] u/Pete26l96: Who cares about being down 20% when you can just enjoy life. Worked, went for a run, now about to make myself a pizza. Got some pizza dough, home made pizza sauce from San Marzano tomatoes, pepperoni, and mozzarella. Smash down a pizza with some ice cold water and then spend the night watching YouTube and listening to music. [+16] u/zeebee098: I want to ghost my job and everyone i know for a while [+16] u/TofuMeltatSunspot: I'm shaking. Does anyone have any good resources for homeless ppl [+16] u/jlw993: https://preview.redd.it/6v4y48modnrg1.png?width=1277&format=png&auto=webp&s=6d23c30f549311d36827797ea6bcb1fe62b72595 [+16] u/kaapooj: netflix still valued at 400b oracle 400b palatnir 340b tesla 1.36t we are still in the first inning of a correction [+16] u/Lardass_Goober: Real talk: why would Iran agree to anything 🥭 wants? Crazy thing is, Iran has yet to make a great case for why you shouldn’t assassinate their leaders during negotiations. If they capitulate now, they lose all their leverage. This is sadly becoming a Vietnam level geopolitical fuck up. Maybe worse? [+16] u/31andnotdone: i have been eating like total shit. i blame 🥭 for this too. [+16] u/rollinhating: Strait of Trump LMAO [+16] u/Internal_Field5970: Ok this is actually hell and none of you are real [+16] u/Internal_Field5970: Okay this is one of his worst ones from a mental acuity standpoint [+16] u/NYGiants181: What the FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT [+16] u/Burger_Gouger: Welp boys my wife came out of the office after 3 hours and said. “I think I’m a vibe coder now” I just realized I’m married to a retard [+16] u/Specialist_Fig9458: The series of mistakes and accidents that led to this moment are biblical [+16] u/Gristle__McThornbody: Having a hard time going to sleep knowing President Trump has the nuclear codes. [+16] u/ProudestPeasant: remember when the USA could do no wrong (they definitely did wrong and this wasn't their first rodeo when it comes to illegal invasions and other shady shit) they were this mythical mammoth of a country full of swag, the cool kids, Hollywood movies and sophisticated marketing, aspirational, capitalism fo' the win, etc. etc... now they are but a shadow of their former self and it was all self-inflicted. [+16] u/CardiologistEqual336: didn’t think WW3 would actually happen before GTA 6 [+16] u/humunculus43: I like the optimism that the war ending will fix things. The US economy is cooked and corruption is becoming commonplace. This is fall of empire territory given the huge debt burden [+16] u/AwarenessOk5979: Riding the bus to a minimum wage job really makes a man desire the end of times [+16] u/ewzetf: USMC revisionists are getting called up lol, mango is going all in [+16] u/twostroke1: Pretty wild to think the entire stock market could go +/- 10% this week based on 1 guy typing up a few sentences from a shidder while taking a shid. Seems like a pretty healthy environment. [+16] u/J_da_CPA: Art of the deal Biggest con man in history [+16] u/WSB-mods-are-: Weekends are so weird. Just these random 2 days a week you're not losing thousands of dollars. [+16] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost /u/yeppbrep made a bet that SPY would go to 316.0 within **1 day** when it was 632.849 and it did not, so they were banned for a week. Their record is now 0 wins and 5 losses [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) [+16] u/Aggressive_Bit_91: I can feel the mother of all manipulation tweets coming in my loins [+16] u/Money_Term8366: 🥭 such a tactical genius that he turned 10 day operation into 1-2 year boots on ground invasion [+16] u/sck178: He can't even 🌮 his way out of this any more. Bulls... I'm sorry but... I don't think this is the bottom. You're all the bottoms now [+16] u/McKoijion: It's Mossad vs. the American economy. Spy vs. SPY. [+16] u/softboiledjadepotato: Srry can't talk, filling hefty bags with 87 regular at Chevron [+16] u/G-IDIOTTHEMAN: Be greedy when others are fearful, but panic sell everything when everything goes to shit. [+16] u/Kattilaeikka: It's a weird feeling when you see people around you carrying on with their lives as if nothing is happening and you know we are on the brink of unfathomable economic ruin. I wish I was one of them. [+16] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Meanwhile just now: IRANIAN MISSILE STRUCK THE PRINCE SULTAN AIR BASE IN SAUDI ARABIA ON FRIDAY WOUNDING SEVERAL U.S. SERVICE MEMBERS - WSJ [+16] u/RemarkableVictory990: He is firing a nuke before his term ends btw [+16] u/ConstantAd1: just a little to the right and SPY would be at 700 right now [+16] u/Urzuck: On Monday we will see the asteroid that will make all the bulls extinct. [+16] u/aa73gc: Houthis now taking their turn to launch missiles at Israel [+16] u/patricktu1258: Saturday: ber r fuk Sunday: bol r fuk Monday: everyone fuk [+16] u/radishr: The value of the dollar will plunge if 🥭 puts his signature on the currency. Hundred dollar bills will only be used as toilet paper. 🧻 [+16] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: It’s 10PM, do you know where your barrel of oil is? [+16] u/bluen: Iran will be the most tiktok'd televised war in all of world war 3 [+16] u/NotMe357: "IRAN PARLIAMENT SPEAKER QALIBAF SAYS U.S. SPEAKS OF NEGOTIATIONS IN PUBLIC, BUT PLANS GROUND ATTACK IN SECRET - STATE MEDIA" [+16] u/Ready_Scratch_1902: all time high rants are gone at least [+16] u/aqjingson: People in the future will download textbooks into their brain and be shocked that-for a 2 decade period-people exchanged government backed money for digital currency made by Caucasian male frauding under Japanese alias [+16] u/Internal_Field5970: Are there actually real people in AMC and GameStore?  What the fuck is wrong with you? [+16] u/No-Sympathy-686: We are fucking dead tomorrow [+16] u/2020isgreat: Heads-up: Pre-market so-called “news” or “Truth” is often just a setup for profit-taking. Basically, it’s a reverse indicator. Do the opposite: If they pump it, short it. If they dump it, go long. See something tomorrow? You know the drill. \-Speaker of parliament of Iran lmao [+16] u/rollinhating: sp500, its literally in the name.. 500 monday [+16] u/Valkorion335786: Looking at my parents health reports the same way they looked at my report cards *If you knew your cholesterol the same way you knew those crossword puzzles. Get me my belt* [+15] u/Any_Life_6178: This is all gonna make a wild movie if we live to see the end of it [+15] u/brave100: holy fuck, brother has been yapping his ass off for the past 50 minutes [+15] u/Internal_Field5970: This dude doesn’t know where he is [+15] u/SpeakerImaginary9796: Calling it now. Nothing happens over the weekend and the market is green Monday just because it was priced in. [+15] u/Gom_KBull: Bols watched the entire presser yesterday and thought "that guy is the most competent leader we can depend on for sure. Calls." [+15] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: This has to be the dumbest war in human history. You show up during negotiations, murk everyone and then call for negotiations to start again? Either dude is a complete dummy or he didn't have a working brain at birth. And the yes men around him. Omg, people will sell their own mother's soul for a buck 🤦‍♂️ [+15] u/stupidber: They say an engagement ring should be 3 months income but how do I find a ring for -$45,000? [+15] u/CardiologistEqual336: my best friend in the air force voted for mango cuz he didn’t want to go to war 😬🫡 [+15] u/ConstantAd1: >Pentagon prepares for weeks of ground operations in Iran - Washington Post [+15] u/BarbellPadawan: Only good bull case is that it’s really fucking bearish in here. [+15] u/Vort3x7689: 🥭 could have sat on his fatass and played golf everyday and done nothing and spy would be at 800 [+15] u/cbusoh66: God is on our side and wants "Overwhelming Violence" according to Kegseth [+15] u/AMCorBUST2021: 🥭tripled net worth in a year. Not even Pelosi hitting those numbers. [+15] u/PalsRocksMyWorld: 🥭 on the economy: LMFAO yeah I fucked y’all and made tons of $$$. Eat a dick bols. I resign. [+15] u/thedyslexicdetective: God millennials will never be able to retire [+15] u/MBBOrBust-: You’re not retiring, you’re not retiring, you’re not retiring, no one’s retiring [+15] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: Fuck, holding cash is so goddamn boring. I’d almost rather lose money than stare at a screen searching for an entry point. [+15] u/BarbellPadawan: >“Let’s face it, there is a reason other presidents didn’t go at Iran like this. And bravery wasn’t a factor.” -Bloomberg [+15] u/nyse25: # WHAT THE FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT [+15] u/31andnotdone: how big and beautiful we talking [+15] u/Dbestinvest: America you in trouble girl [+15] u/Internal_Field5970: Wait NATO doesn’t want to send their soldiers to die for 🥭? [+15] u/tgff333: I actually cannot believe what I heard...it's like I must have misheard that [+15] u/wafflepiezz: We are all so fucked. [+15] u/Key-Ad331: I get a kick outta this subs rules to not be overtly political when the markets are in turmoil, the country is 38T in the red, and we are in a war with no clear objectives. All of which directly affects our "community betting on happenings". 🤣 [+15] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: higher lies lower hoes [+15] u/unikuenobody: BREAKING: The 2026 Chinese New Year begins February 17, 2026, marking what was suppose to be the start of the Year of the Fire Horse, which lasts until February 5, 2027. However, China has changed course due to recent market events and have decided to call it: The Year of the gay bear! [+15] u/sailorsmile: Two years ago if you made a comment in here about how hard it would be to trade under fascism you’d get “stfu libtard” but now these comments are in every thread. We are actually so fucked lmao [+15] u/Neel_Crashkari: In a small dinghy, puttering down Hornuz rn [+15] u/Walking72: Imagine making an unforced error that breaks the entire planet. [+15] u/ajibtunes: SOME PEOPLE CAN STAY HOME FOR 2 DAYS WITHOUT GOING OUT AND THEY ARE NOT EVEN BOTHERED. [+15] u/LengthObjective2253: Anyone else getting annoyed with the normies and r/all pouring in? Used to be able to call someone retard but they report you now 😞 [+15] u/BFox1982: I have no money. This has been a cashflow update. [+15] u/LasyKuuga: Fun fact drug dealers do better during recessions Any chemistry teachers in chat pls dm me [+15] u/killainvest: Did you guys know you can buy a birthday cake from Costco any day. Like literally no one checks to see if it’s in fact for a birthday. 🎂 [+15] u/Ok_Cry7572: I have no problem with being drafted. I have played so much cod I know all the guns and the attachments. Just give me a riot shield and some c4's and an RPG in my backpack [+15] u/ProudPeak3570: when you join the military to get free tuition but instead get sent to be slaughtered in iran [+15] u/2Frum4U: On the bright side everything will get much worse for the rest of our lives [+15] u/WarmCan3034: can't believe mango rly gonna bankrupt america too :'( [+15] u/Independent-Tree-985: Did Bibi give the Okay to invade yet? [+15] u/Valkorion335786: Some girl said her gym ick was when guys dance between sets She’s just jealous I can throw it back better than she ever can Loser [+15] u/Infinite-Anybody204: Im starting to think this Trump guy doesn’t have a fully fleshed plan for whats gonna happen. [+15] u/ThatOneRedditBro: Some countries are going back to remote work to conserve oil reserves. We could be at the beginning of a diet covid [+15] u/EnginrA: This market dropping faster than my ex’s panties [+15] u/ckami_91: Trump now absolutely has to invade with ground forces if oil is going to 200 a barrel Iran is actually winning the war LMFAOOOOOO [+15] u/Detonate-Ralph: oil prices still going up btw, curious to see what bullshit Trump will cook to try to make it go down [+15] u/financiallythriving: The GOAT is at it again Tiger Woods arrested for DUI after rollover car crash, Florida sheriff says - CNBC [+15] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: Jesus Christ....the Toyota story. "Hey Mr Tayotah, what do you do?"- Swiss cheese brain "I own Toyota"- Akio Toyoda "You're rich"- Swiss cheese brain [+15] u/AppleJuiceTwo: LOL these questions were clearly agreed upon beforehand and he still cant keep up [+15] u/LarsTarkas: Going to be a fucking shitshow with spacex ipo next week [+15] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: 🥭 winkingly referred to the Strait of Hormuz as the “Strait of 🥭.” lmfao.. 1st the currency signature, now the strait... the narcissism level is higher than SPY and QQQ ATH combined. [+15] u/Emergency-Ticket5859: Perhaps Trump could just say "thank you" once to the Iranians and we can have SPY 700 as promised? [+15] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Breaking: DONNY wants to send in 17k soldiers to invade Westeros, I mean Iran. [+15] u/rhuffq: Trump can’t use the traditional Taco in this situation. So now we are in the era of the synthetic Taco. A random Trump tweet that is completely false may cause the market to rally for a few hours or a day on fake hope, but it will return to the existing downtrend very quickly. And even still with every synthetic Taco future ones are less potent. [+15] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Would anyone like to chip in and buy an oil refinery with me for 45000. I found one on Ali baba. We going to be rich as this is now a lucrative business https://preview.redd.it/vbggafei0urg1.jpeg?width=993&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a5db032d77566117924e2e1501d1ed3484a3526d [+15] u/Kind-Recognition4528: Too gay to be drafted sorry. [+15] u/AGigatonicxs: All this to distract from the pedo files [+15] u/RogerBalderer: People should at least mentally prepare for the possibility of a longer, more severe downturn. Not saying it will happen, but being ready for it is better than being surprised. If it doesn’t happen, then great. Oil also isn’t historically expensive right now, especially when you adjust for inflation and compare it to past shocks. That means things can still get a lot worse from here. [+15] u/Neel_Crashkari: Monday so green it'll make you fkn puke [+15] u/Independent-Tree-985: oh good, Bols are winding up their cope engine [+15] u/DifficultGarlic6: I remember when I first signed up for a trading account and it had a disclaimer saying 84% of all traders lose money. I was like how is that possible? 10 minutes of scrolling WSB makes me question how is it possible that only 84% lose money? [+15] u/TickTockTaudit: So we bombed Iran at the direction and benefit of (checks notes) the Israelis. Causing a global oil crisis and skyrocketing crude prices. Ultimately and logically financially benefiting (checks notes) the Saudis. Money is the only thing that matters. Start buying calls, ignore the loss of life, and drink or take drugs to be able to sleep at night. [+15] u/ebfeebfe: I saw this crash coming, so I de-grossed the portfolio to 15% stocks, $8.50 cash [+15] u/jamesjordisierra: Even my Beagle is questioning his sanity... https://preview.redd.it/d4o9rjr00org1.jpeg?width=3072&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd54d1b16381e74f10269122431f2ae70af5be61 [+15] u/-TrueFacts-: Upvote if you're just a filler character in the simulation 🤖 [+15] u/mayorolivia: Mango’s speech in Miami was peak regard. He said DOW and SPY reached ATH under him while inflation has come down. Alternate reality. [+14] u/Heliosvector: keep dropping baby. reinforce my choice that being a cash holding pussy is a great strategy right now. [+14] u/McKoijion: This speech was funny at first, but I'm starting to become genuinely worried. This is the weakest I've ever seen the United States. It seems to get worse with each passing day. I don't think anyone here has felt this way since the nuclear scares of the 1980s. [+14] u/Advanced_Divide_4641: Dude is the regarded antichrist [+14] u/NotMe357: Here is some good news: "Investing.com — Saudi Arabia’s East-West crude pipeline, a key route that bypasses the Strait of Hormuz, is now operating at its full capacity of about 7 million barrels per day, according to Bloomberg, citing a person familiar with the matter. The ramp-up comes as the ongoing Middle East conflict has effectively disrupted traffic through Hormuz, forcing Gulf producers to find alternative export routes. Saudi Arabia has increasingly relied on the pipeline to redirect crude flows to the Red Sea port of Yanbu, where tankers are now loading oil for global markets. Exports via Yanbu have climbed to roughly 5 million barrels per day, with an additional 700,000 to 900,000 barrels per day of refined products also being shipped, Bloomberg reported. Of the total volumes transported through the pipeline, around 2 million barrels per day are used domestically in Saudi refineries. While the diversion has helped ease supply pressures, it only partially offsets the disruption caused by the near-closure of the Strait of Hormuz, which previously handled about 15 million barrels per day of crude flows. The alternative route has nevertheless played a key role in preventing oil prices from spiking to more extreme levels seen during past supply shocks." ---- Investing.com [+14] u/Urzuck: Enron Muskolini: "Europe will love Tesla self-driving!'' Bro you sold like 3 cars there in the last year lmao [+14] u/twostroke1: wsb is basically insider info on exactly what not to place your bets on. [+14] u/Moepenmoes: You can literally get financial freedom right now, just sell your house and live under a bridge [+14] u/Treverer: We need a polymarket bet for Iran leaking the Epstein files [+14] u/PatrickSebast: It is actually amazing that Bondi managed to call the top [+14] u/Smart_Influence2966: The Bondi top is the most accurate leading indicator of all time. [+14] u/Slow-Astronaut-2135: Wen ground invasion announcement. No TACO today means its coming. Hurry up im close. [+14] u/Most-Crazy2353: Man joe bidens market sucks [+14] u/Round-Huckleberry570: Made $250 this week with spy puts, if I held all to expiration would’ve been $8k fuck me silly [+14] u/wildcat1055: 🥭 speech spoilers: * The ballroom is coming out great * Rubio will be in charge of Kennedy Center now * We are getting many trillions of dollars into the country * Oh yeah, war is already won [+14] u/dreamer_Neet: How can anyone hear him talks, what a fking embarrassment [+14] u/AdjustDeezNutz: Jesus this is low energy donnie [+14] u/sha1dy: # WHAT THE FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT? [+14] u/moorhound: He just referred to the king of Saudi Arabia as "kissing his ass" at Saudi Arabia's Private Investment Fund's summit Oh my fucking god we're cooked [+14] u/StraitOfHummus: "I guess we changed the regime, it gets blown up every 2 days, and we don't know who the hell the leader is." Who are we negotiating with again? [+14] u/XX_AppleSauce: Sex question yes please. [+14] u/moorhound: "You can talk sex" Oh this should be good [+14] u/MenagerieAlfred: The President of the United States gentlemen [+14] u/modder9: Sure - my first question is about sex. Specifically your sex in the Epstien files. [+14] u/Far-Requirement9180: Are you not entertained?!! [+14] u/Carfar_Farcar: Bro you didn't call Xi you dialed a random Chinese guy who reported back to base. [+14] u/EducationalCicada: Three more years of this... [+14] u/Specialist_Fig9458: Bro is proof you don’t need to be intelligent to go to a good school [+14] u/SuperSix: LMFAO just got back from the gym DOES THAT SHIT SAY 632????????? [+14] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: I will be the last bol standing fighting till my last call expires 🐂📈📈 [+14] u/cashflow_: It’s fucked up how the government is supposed to protect people and in the us they’re too busy enriching themselves and catering to corporate America. It’s actually criminal. There is nothing stopping people from getting fucked it’s insane [+14] u/AdCritical5383: Roses are red. Violet are blue. Today bers are eating. >!I can’t rhyme because I’m retarded 🤌!< [+14] u/PretendAgency2702: I'm getting really tired of my wife. She's lazy, mean, and selfish. I worked for 15 years and had to take care of the kids after work. She's now worked for 6 months after not working in the past 15 years and comes home demanding her own freetime.  I still get kid duty while she watches TikTok and naps after work.  I am trapped for many years remaining. That is all. [+14] u/Paul_Robert_: I want u 🫵 to have a pleasant weekend [+14] u/Bloomeyer: did mango really fucking call it the trump strait? [+14] u/Bittertwitter: I’m 100% sure its ground invasion next. There’s nothing to taco at this point. 🥭 already shamelessly declared they are in talks etc (which is an off-ramp for the iranians). But they are not having it. Its either 1. ground invasion, 2. 🥭 signing some sort of shameful reparation dictated by the iranians, or 3. withdrawing and abandoning the whole middle east, signaling to the arabs (& the whole world) US is useless as an ally. All security guarantees is fugazi. [+14] u/ballsonreddit: I had to learn how to short because of Iran war [+14] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: The Middle East is about to go TITS UP with the Houthis joining in [+14] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: we were taking here about the houthis getting involved in the conflict last week. WSB regards are the best unintelligent agency in the world. [+14] u/lipmanz: “If Iran decides they’re going to block the strait then the countries most impacted should do something about it” ….busted the hornets nest with a slingshot and now we’re going home [+14] u/yeahyoubored: most Americans don't even know what the strait of hormuz is my grandma looked at me like I had three heads when I asked her what the geopolitical and economic consequences may be from having the strait closed we are truly in a bubble here avg Americans have no idea what is to come [+14] u/Cocaine_Addiction: Gonna eat an entire jar of pickles then jerk off to j powell reruns [+14] u/Ok_Cry7572: I usually just watch breastfeeding videos in my free time [+14] u/Internal_Field5970: Tiger Woods is more responsible with a motor vehicle than some of you are in the stock market [+14] u/veggieroll1up: If you’re new to options trading good luck! [+14] u/mr_stupid_face: They are going to give our troops Crocs to wear so it’s not technically boots on the ground [+14] u/hey-coffee-eyes: My parents have turned into tablet babies, watching YouTube shorts at full volume on an endless loop. Calls on GOOG I guess [+14] u/Christiano97: Monday at 9:29AM The mission is complete. Thank you for your attention to this matter DJT [+14] u/ConstantAd1: >Reports of a possible direct impact from an Iranian drone on the U.S. Consulate in Erbil, Northern Iraq, amid a massive one-way drone attack currently underway against Northern and Eastern Iraq by Iran, with explosions being heard in Baghdad and Erbil. peace negotiations are going well [+14] u/bearhunter429: #I fucking hate everything LMAO🤌 [+14] u/Boheed: Monday. Green. +15%. [+14] u/ArsonDub: It's bad when the only bull case is a dead cat bounce lol [+14] u/loveiseverything: So US is losing best of the best aircrafts and ground attack is confirmed and Iran has 1+ million enlisted just in a couple of weeks just to take revenge on incoming US troops. The market is going to get annihilated in the coming days and weeks. Last April is going to be fondly remembered as a minor drop compared to what's coming now. [+14] u/DriftWoodBarrel: Part of this energy crisis could be alleviated if we go back to working from home. [+14] u/Queasy_Soil9646: Government of the people, by the people and for the people. But the people are retarded. [+14] u/Soffatjockis: Previous wars the US had some of the brightest military strategists on the planet involved in the planning and execution. But they still failed in Iraq, Afghanistan and Vietnam. Now? Lol. They have the dumbest mother fuckers on earth planning this thing. How yall think that will go? [+14] u/Club-Loud: As a Europoor I now have to stay up an hour later for futes 😡 [+14] u/ShittyUsernane1222: An single option trader going full regard, full porting calls or puts and GUHing isn't scary. An entire government doing that is big scary. Bessent and BOJ's idea of shorting oil futures in the middle of supply shortage and rising demand is extremely regarded. [+14] u/Muted-South4737: All the suddenly bullish sentiment makes me feel much better about my puts. [+14] u/Hot-Ambassador8740: My life is so sad now. Weekends are boring cause I’m just waiting for futes to open lmao [+14] u/tastyfreeeze69: It can’t escalate, troops are positioned for posturing only. Global depression if this continues. They must make a deal. I am holding calls and have a bias. [+14] u/S-Club-Party: ##Please keep the shitposting to a maximum [+14] u/pmotiveforce: Can't wait for the cavalcade of idiocy from bulls tonight and this weekend. Durr, bers r fuk SPY 700. What's gonna be funny is when 600 becomes the new 700 later this year. "Durr, SPY 600 tomorrow bers r fuk lmao!" In all seriousness, bulls are not serious people. [+14] u/softboiledjadepotato: this mfer really gonna single handedly bring in us into an accelerated global recession, huh? [+14] u/moosewithamuffin: I picked a bad week to quit Nicotine [+14] u/Spezalt4: Apparently Chuck Norris was holding up the entire world economy by himself [+14] u/aa73gc: Visit any aged care facility and you will hear a similar speech. What are you guys over there thinking when electing your leaders? The older the better? [+14] u/Serious-Grapefruit20: Lol bro said stocks sank less than he expected - were going down [+14] u/BeepBoopDep: Listen bulls, no one loves making fun of bers as much as me. But if you're perma bullish listening to the absolute nonsense this administration has been saying for the past month I can't help you. Least wait until a resolution is in sight to be bullish again. [+14] u/Internal_Field5970: Yo this dude is cooked [+14] u/Stonkrates: THE AGE OF BULL IS OVER…… THER ERA OF 🌈🐻 HAS BEGUN [+14] u/ConstantAd1: The top is in for AI. [+14] u/Poor_Life-choices: Whomever hacked fbi director's email...if you could kindly hack the WH press secretary's and announce a full surrender to Iran Monday around 940am, that would be swell. [+14] u/CATLLM: Next week is the real correction. -19% [+14] u/DrummerCompetitive20: we are headed for a massive recession it appears [+14] u/PhysInstrumentalist: Drinking wine tonight, this thread is crazy [+14] u/apurimac777: This could be our last weekend as part of the Developed World Enjoy it bros [+14] u/zzzzzz808: *looking at the dip in tech stocks* “I wouldn’t want to buy it.” - regards “That’s why no one will remember your name.” - Brad Pitt [+14] u/trent_upscale: Piss is stored in the nuts, idiots [+14] u/WombatShwambat: I just ate some mushroom chocolate that I ordered off an Instagram ad. Wish me luck [+14] u/boringfantasy: Pentagon prepares for ground operations, per WSJ [+14] u/ballsonreddit: Pentagon prepares for weeks of ground operations in Iran [https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/2026/03/28/trump-iran-ground-troops-marines/](https://www.washingtonpost.com/national-security/2026/03/28/trump-iran-ground-troops-marines/) [+14] u/SolomonKings7: Pump Monday incoming [+14] u/Boheed: Green +35% on Monday [+14] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: We’re really fucking going to do this, aren’t we? [+14] u/ComfortableWolf779: What is charlie kirks take on the war? [+14] u/xzmnou: Just got dumped. Open the casino I need it 😡 [+14] u/NotMe357: "JUST IN: VP Vance affirms that TACO military operation in Iran should hopefully not last longer than 1-2 years." [+14] u/AirportMaterial5917: white people love to say no bueno [+14] u/wrongrobertpatrick: i miss sleepy joe and soft landing [+14] u/Boheed: Green +57% on Monday, we're going to the promised land [+14] u/ThermalChaser: Israel doing Israel tings [+13] u/smart_doge: This sub has been infiltrated by bots 😪 Bunch of 3 digit karma bots with < 30d account age are giving the most regarded takes and getting response from other 3 digit karma bots. [+13] u/orsomeshitidk: The bulls are starting to get genuinely butt hurt and scared you can tell lol [+13] u/sauronII: 🥭speach leaked: The curtains in the new ballroom will be gold. Not solid gold, even though I asked (pause for laughter) believe me I asked. 🫲🫱But they said: „Mr. president, we have this beautiful fabric“ and I saw the fabric and it is the greatest in the world. Nobody else could have a curtin like that. Nobody. [+13] u/Derpy_Mc_Burpy: I almost forgot this was a speech about the economy. He's talking like a grandpa at a nursery [+13] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Lmao at admitting it's a war [+13] u/Top_Signature4068: “ crazy things happen in war. Bad things, terrible things. Sometimes a country thinks they’re gonna win a war and they lose the war” Is he serious right now? It couldn’t be more perfect projection if it was written for TV. War = bad Market : 📉 [+13] u/Optimal-Midnight4295: I arrived in America's airport with clothings, US dollars, and a jar of gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS. [+13] u/Potential_Version_34: New bomb, who this? NO! new bomb. HOUTHIS [+13] u/living-da-drim: Houthis wants to buy msft at 344 [+13] u/sonofalando: 🥭 : we don’t even know who the leader is. Meanwhile Thailand negotiates passage through the straight. 🤡🤡🤡🤌 [+13] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: I am drastically increasing my fiber intake 🫴💩 [+13] u/Weak_Emu3659: You have no life, no friends, you're on the wrong side of 30, balding, your gut is hanging over your belt and you sit on the toilet all day gambling your money away. [+13] u/New-Length5593: Can’t fucking wait till the Sunday night tweet! LFG!!! 🥁 🥁 [+13] u/Me-Regarded: I see I'm not saved yet by peace in the middle east news. Back to depression sleep until futes open... Then rope [+13] u/Detonate-Ralph: Message for bols: >!YOU ARE EXIT LIQUIDITY 🫵🏻🤡!< [+13] u/Few_Egg3567: Getting a bj from my wife outlook - extremely bearish [+13] u/Oneok-Field: Im getting bored of Iran, I already mastered the geopolitics of the region through my extensive OSINT research (YouTube), can we move on to Cuba already? [+13] u/kaapooj: unbelievable that the us is starting a large scale ground war for no upside for them [+13] u/Detail-Vegetable: We're gonna need a taco supreme to get out of this mess. [+13] u/Deadsea3132: I guess tech is worthless? Why are traders so fucking regarded [+13] u/CalRippedken: Only down 78k since November so I got that going for me [+13] u/moorhound: "My polls are better than they've ever been before" holy fuck this guy's just not living in reality lmao [+13] u/GullibleAppearance64: Ya he's a retard. I truly underestimated the levels to it [+13] u/ConsiderationKey1658: I just want to extend my sincere apology to cash gang for all the shit I talked in the past [+13] u/GoogleKushforLunch: Please JD Vance save the markets [+13] u/Ok-End-3213: We are going down a very spooky path [+13] u/moorhound: Jesus fuck man can you imply Larry Ellison bribed you any harder lmao [+13] u/PalsRocksMyWorld: Ho-ho-holy sheeeeeeeeeeeeeit. Who let him speak today? What a gift to bers. Monday is gonna be fucking wild. [+13] u/gavbot_1213: Bro what in gods name is he talking about lmao - this is full blown incoherent [+13] u/AdjustDeezNutz: People voting for 2016 Trump, I can maybe understand because he's funny as shit. 2024 Trump is crazy af. [+13] u/Shah_Zam: All you mfkers that hold over the weekend, balls of steel. True regards. 😐 [+13] u/tgff333: you know that feeling when you drive home with no music on [+13] u/Fineous40: Some of you have never traded The Great Potato Famine of 1845 and it shows. [+13] u/Ozqi: I’m in my mid 20’s I hope SPY goes to $30 a share, all the boomers have a heart attack as I buy the dip, and then SPY goes to $800 ez pz [+13] u/Optimal-Midnight4295: He is my neighbor Nursultan Tuliagby. He is pain in my assholes. I get a window from a glass, he must get a window from a glass. I get a step, he must get a step. I get a clock radio, he cannot afford. Great success! [+13] u/Advanced_Structure21: I live near a reserve air base. Usually pretty quiet around here. Not any more. Peace my shiny metal ass [+13] u/Mediocre_Pangolin572: WE ARE COMPLETELY FUCKED. [+13] u/BarbellPadawan: She’s a 10 but she unironically thought that speech made sense. [+13] u/sauronII: So, my grandma lived in 1940 Germany and told me a joke from then: An old lady goes to the bank and when she‘s refused to take out her money she keeps saying „That‘s all his fault! He ruined our country, this measly bastard!“ Later that day, Gestapo shows up and questions her: „Is this what you said, who were you referring to?“ She says: „Well, Stalin of course, who do you think I meant?“ [+13] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: Want to lose weight but can’t?  Sleep less, stress more, try stimulants, hold naked options over the weekend, and don’t forget to take full advantage of leverage. [+13] u/ballsonreddit: U.S. troops wounded, planes damaged in Iranian strike on Saudi air base, official says [https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/u-s-troops-wounded-planes-damaged-in-iranian-strike-on-saudi-air-base-official-says](https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/u-s-troops-wounded-planes-damaged-in-iranian-strike-on-saudi-air-base-official-says) [+13] u/shortitforever: It’s crazy how fast markets went down on liberation day but this is going to take a year to get down to 2018 lows [+13] u/Gold_Stand_9596: when buls start flying out the windows (rip) is when you buy [+13] u/AlarmedPelican: Iran isn't perfect but it is full of kind, smart, beautiful people and rich culture [+13] u/Sea_Trip_8941: I remember when Pam bondi was like the Dow is at 50,000 [+13] u/Wild_Cheesecake_6630: I won’t be able to sleep this weekend I opened a lot of calls yesterday and double down today, and now Im Down 50% of my port so far.. I felt so bad, give some hope bros [+13] u/MrNewking: I have this weird recurring sexual fantasy where I buy an option and then sell it for more thus collecting a profit. [+13] u/loveiseverything: Yeah, this is going to be worse than last April. This is 2008 -level shit show. [+13] u/2020isgreat: Iran is gaining more and more leverage everyday but yeah they'll fold lmao [+13] u/ShittyUsernane1222: if 🥭 nukes Iran, with no particular exception being taken every US financial asset is going to crash to the basement, not because financial markets are sympathetic to iran but because they are pricing in the future risk and expectation of global nuclear war completely demolishing American sources of revenue and profits. [+13] u/moazzam0: People were looking for a taco so they missed something really important yesterday: Trump said: "I didn't think there was a big risk but there's always surprises with war. There could be very bad surprises. I mean wars are lost that should be won. Many wars are lost... You think a country is going to wipe somebody out and they end up getting wiped out themselves so it's always risky." Rubio said: "When this conflict, when this operation ends, if the Iranians decide 'well now we control the Strait of Hormuz and you can only go through here if you pay us and if we allow you to', not only is it illegal under international law and maritime law, it's unacceptable and that can't be allowed to exist. And so what we said is that the countries most impacted by that should be willing to do something about it, and we'll help them." Both of them said they have lost and trimmed the scope of their involvement, and Rubio goes a step further to acknowledge that Iran ends up controlling (and therefore tolling) Hormuz. He used the words "if Iranians decide", which obviously they have already decided and multiple countries agreed to the toll arrangement with them. [+13] u/Wirecard_trading: Fuck Mango, fuck Hackysack, fuck Blondi Fuck all of em [+13] u/Competitive_Ride: Imagine you go to an Ivy and get a job in finance thinking you’ll be doing cutting edge work and they put you on truth social analyst duty [+13] u/Oneok-Field: I'm not trying to defend Patel but I'm impressed the worst dirt Iran could leak out of hacking his personal email are pictures of him smoking a cigar [+13] u/CATLLM: BREAKING Israel bombing news outlets in Lebanon. [+13] u/NOtangibEL: Huthi Rebels remind me of Sand People in Star Wars [+13] u/SeliciousSedicious: Oman! Iran just hit an airport. [+13] u/Worried_Quarter469: April 1 he announces peace agreement +5% Then he tweets April fools and sends in 20k marines -20% [+13] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: You sit down at the table across from your wife. You ask how her day was. "Fine." She doesn't make eye contact. You reach for your glass of wine, a rather expensive bottle you'd been saving for a special occasion. You take a sip. Across your tongue dances the complex, pungent, unmistakable taste of piss. You recoil at first, but after brief consideration, you savor it and swallow. You look down at your plate. What a lovely, juicy steak. *What did your wife pay for these at the butcher,* you wonder. *$30/lb? $40/lb? Is she fucking the butcher? Can we afford this if she isn't?* You shake your head violently, as if to wake yourself from a dream. You slice into it and raise a bite to your mouth. As you sink in your teeth, you feel the all-too-familiar sensation of a warm biological fluid hitting the back of your throat. Yet along with it comes something unfamiliar, as your olfactory centers are once again awash in the aura of piss. You excuse yourself from the table and head to the bathroom, sitting down without so much as undoing your belt. You open Truth Social. Nothing. *Fuck. Okay, that's okay. Tomorrow night. What's the fun if he 🌮s before premarket, right?* While you were in the bathroom, your cat barfs in front of the door. As you leave, you step directly in it. [+13] u/Internal_Field5970: Can you drive a car on tokenized oil?  No you can’t.  See how retarded you are crypto people? [+13] u/mrmagootoyou2: I really don't think the US is ready to see their sons and daughters on FPV Drone footage. It will be a nasty war if we go in [+13] u/RFKsBrainwormm: Is it me, or is Sydney Sweeney massively overrated? [+13] u/FOMO_Gains: Calls on lonely MILFs after a draft. [+13] u/savemoney_god: R.I.P U.S markets 1792 - 2026 [+13] u/victoryboiiTCG: Bro bankrupted universities casinos hotels steaks and was just begging to add the NYSE [+13] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: about to leave for church and the edible just hit Jesus take the wheel [+13] u/confused_teabagger: >This is not an invasion of Iran , we are just going to invade some of the land IN Iran I am not a political expert like every person here, but this sounds like we might be invading Iran ... just a little [+13] u/Ill-Expression1737: i wonder how much is left in my 401k lmao [+13] u/itsmyfault22: rest in peace my last triple down. I will lose everything [+13] u/ConstantAd1: 77,302,580 Americans voted for this guy [+13] u/Oblivious-Speculator: I lost 20k in a day and cheaping out on a proper meal, what the fk is wrong with me 🤌 [+13] u/hioman01: WSB is going to turn into r/ValueInvesting [+13] u/Tanpopomon: You know it's bad when nobody is even shouting tickers anymore [+13] u/Cheeseheroplopcake: Goddamn, what a time to be alive. Ground invasion + no more jpow in May = 📉🤡⚰️ [+13] u/Thesaint7811: Here’s my take on the timeline…. Trump is setting up to take Kharg island. His best chance is to do it Thursday after market close. Friday is a market holiday so that gives him 3 days to take it. We are going to use the 82nd airborne to drop in and try to set up an operating base in or near the oil infrastructure to try and limit drone strikes as the Iranians don’t want to damage it. It lines up well with the monthly SPY chart as well, we just entered one of the sawtooth dips that usually last a week so if it works and we take it over the weekend it’s going to blast off. [+13] u/cbusoh66: 🥭told you he thought the market would have dropped more. Just wait until he says it dropped enough to get back in. Don't overthink it, the man is a walking stock market billboard... [+13] u/Moepenmoes: Spent yet another saturday evening on WSB, what am I even doing with my life [+13] u/diefy7321: “BoOtS oN tHe GrOuNd” LMAO 🤌 [+13] u/jonneh: I saw that 🥭 told his supporters to watch some dude named Mark Levin tonight # Levin’s message: we need boots on the ground in Iran to seize their uranium. # He’s trying to prepare everyone for a ground invasion 😳 [+13] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Largest protest in US history was against 🥭 yesterday. Bro really is a big fuck up [+13] u/glisteningoxygen: Puts are gonna be so damn expensive tomorrow [+13] u/BeepBoopDep: Based on wsb you'd think being down 90% all time qualifies you to be a geopolitical risk expert 😂 [+13] u/Micheal_Hancho: I still have a helium balloon from my wife's birthday 2 months ago. Jensen, you know how to contact me. Let's do business 👨🏻‍💼 [+13] u/Icy_Jelly_315: With three dragons, the unsullied and the Dothraki, I don't see Tehran lasting against us [+13] u/Accomplished-Mango92: We still have 20+% to go until liberation day low! The 1 year chart is green until then! Thank you fearless leader [+13] u/Consistent_Health_74: Puts seem like easy money so bought calls [+13] u/unique_ptr: The chances of him getting 25th'd over summer are rising with every word that dribbles out of his senile mouth. It seems impossible right now but honestly by summer this guy might actually be all out of political capital. He can't even move the markets anymore. [+13] u/MelodicMonitor2486: Whomever made this simulation is really fucking witj us now. [+13] u/tgff333: Come on, admit more crimes [+13] u/CanAdditional8109: keep in mind that a month ago everyone wanted these discounts. You included, probably. [+13] u/Own-Wolverine-5361: In Iran, no alcohol, and no public dancing or mingling of unmarried couples marrying a 13 yr old girl is okay tho [+13] u/bluen: Zuck really is a robot paychopath [+13] u/Wowmuchrya: Farm land abouta be really cheap once all these clowns file for bankruptcy this spring 🗣️🗣️📉📉 Fertilizer prices almost up 200% in a month. Diesel up 100%. [+13] u/Great-Television1775: You’re lying in the rubble of a Tehran schoolyard, missile crater still smoking the warhead cost more than your entire bloodline will ever earn combined. You open Robinhood. You have $15. You buy 0.003 of a NASDAQ leveraged etf [+13] u/Bichael-Murry: THIS STUPID WAR WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY [+13] u/unhappyreach_: I trade like tiger woods drives cars 😔 [+13] u/Mother-Bottle9962: no troops on the ground this weekend. we are going to rally like a mf tomorrow [+13] u/oldwithmold: Is Pam Bondi the new Jim Cramer [+13] u/TomatoSpecialist6879: 1 hr 54 mins until he suddenly announce boots on the ground at Kharg Island [+13] u/sha1dy: # DROP IN STOCK HASNT BEEN THAT BAD LMAOOOO [+13] u/Poor_Life-choices: Caught so many falling knives, I have a complete set. [+13] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: why brainwash the desperate and lonely youth with propaganda when you can addict them to algorithms and legalized gambling [+13] u/bearhunter429: #Literally go to any big tech company's careers site and check for jobs like software or analyst and you'll find that most of the available jobs are in India or other third world countries. No jobs in America. LMAO🤌 [+13] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: Bols are really not paying attention. It's Israel that ultimately decides when it ends. And they first need someone to get that Uranium out of Iran. Which will be neither quick nor easy. At the same time, Iran isn't gonna stop either now that they found their power with the Strait of Hormuz. And they are addicted to that power like crack, and won't have any negotiations that doesn't involve them keeping some of that power. Meanwhile economies around the world are plunging deeper every day into turmoil, and the war is spreading into the region with more countries involved every week, and more conflicts igniting. [+13] u/2020isgreat: You know how covid crashed oil prices why don't they just release another virus to solve the energy crisis [+13] u/WrexyWrex: If the US plans for just a few weeks of ground ops in Iran, they will definitely end in a few weeks because that's how war works. [+13] u/Snowman33001: None of the people in my life are serious people. Thank god I have this place [+13] u/HistorianMuch8963: You are not addicted to the dopamine shots that hit you when your insignifiant comment get a couple of upvotes on the wsb daily feed. You are actively monitoring the geopolitic tensions around the world [+13] u/Bichael-Murry: meanwhile X is so shit, so much spam and misinformation, literally a dump full of ai slop [+13] u/International_Bee653: Who else is monitoring the situation? [+13] u/gentlesandwich: I was looking for bear gains porn, and all I could find was some dude who made $2,000.00. Even when the market is in free fall, you cunts can't make money. [+13] u/Smile-Nod: Exiting a war he started and letting Israel fend for themselves might be TACOs greatest TACO if he pulls it off. [+13] u/pussinbuuts: Make it a requirement for the political leaders to lead the troops in battle and we might actually get world peace [+13] u/felipesizzosmoes: I do not respect the military [+13] u/TheMightySet69: "Talks are going super duper amazingly well like never seen before and never thought possible. The gay ayatollah, with tears in his eyes said 'Sir, sir, please may I suck your dick,' and I said 'no, my teeny tiny penis will only pass through your gay lips when the ships pass through the strait.' He said that was tough, but fair, and then cried because he has never seen a better deal-maker in his whole gay life." [+12] u/Altair82: wsb: > My dick is inside her, what do I do next also wsb: not too much pollyticks hurrrr durrrr we have to protect our sub integrity [+12] u/Unknown_____-: Guys I bought calls for Monday for no reason because there’s no reason in this market. It will definitely dip now you’re welcome [+12] u/creamyhorror: We're screwed by oil prices, but the people in poorer countries are *fucked* [+12] u/CreamyBehemoth: Over the weekend- Ceasefire and peace deals are made. Monday- SPY rips to $700 everyone cheers Tuesday- the world finally decides if Adele is hot or not lol jk we’re fucked [+12] u/Striking-Fig924: We need to place mango on a performance improvement plan [+12] u/bringkiteback: With how much 🥭 thinks of Biden makes me think he wants to get railed by him [+12] u/jasperCrow: 😂😂 he’s showing fake news highlight reels. Is this real? [+12] u/14BrewMan: Is he usually this unhinged? Like thats a real question. [+12] u/McKoijion: The Commander-in-chief of the US military is giving a speech to the Saudi government right now and he hasn't mentioned the lead story in the Wall Street Journal yet: > 10 U.S. Servicemembers Injured in Saudi Air Base Strike The attack also involved unmanned aerial vehicles, the officials said. > An Iranian missile struck the Prince Sultan air base in Saudi Arabia on Friday, wounding 10 American servicemembers, two seriously, and damaging several U.S. refueling aircraft, according to U.S. and Saudi officials familiar with the strike. The attack also involved unmanned aerial vehicles, the officials said. [+12] u/Independent-Visit139: honestly who needs sex when you can get fucked like this [+12] u/ModeForJoe: BREAKING: A meeting that took place has been confirmed involving Bessent and Bondi Friday evening. They plan to schedule a presser just before market open Monday where Bondi will call the DOW bottom. [+12] u/Great-Television1775: Seriously, I got warning for suggesting home made liposuction here, on this joking thread and I got 5 upvotes Which one of you pussy lost all money and become salty enough to report jokes ? 🤣🤣 [+12] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: holy shit this place is regarded [+12] u/Muted-South4737: I am a permabull, but c'mon. You can't seriously think there's going to be a meaningful rally anytime soon. I mean, *gestures at everything* [+12] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Saw a chick today that looked so good. I swear it would be easier to pull out of the Iran war [+12] u/scm66: My port is in the shitter, but my PS5 went up in value 😎 [+12] u/Ok_GAINZ: Did MSFT start this war? [+12] u/Actual_Difference617: Technical analysis guys in shambles. [+12] u/Previous_Hope_2087: I think it’s time for me to stop playing 0DTE. My balls just aren’t fucking big enough to hold long enough when I’m in profit. But when I’m down, I’ll fucking watch it crash and burn. [+12] u/Mumblage: “We have bombed their ports” lmao. No kidding! 🤪 [+12] u/WarmCan3034: Tbh I have no idea how U fuckers lose 50k LOL, I can’t even stomach a 1k loss from my profits 😡 [+12] u/aa73gc: Dude is slurring. Has he had a stroke? [+12] u/Same_College2053: My goodness this is embarassing [+12] u/Ok_Cry7572: JD Vance says the US gov does not even prosecute fraud if it is under $1.5M per year You thinking what I'm thinking? [+12] u/Moepenmoes: Donald Trump: Shout outs to Donald Trump [+12] u/NewDawn101: Dude is literally finding out news by reading the teleprompter [+12] u/Internal_Field5970: Wow Congress is useless [+12] u/chikenbeer: Fuk I owe taxes on top of these losses fml [+12] u/Pristine_Afternoon96: Say our military is the greatest, the strait is open, Iran is totally defeated, they want to make a deal. Repeat for the next 6-8 weeks [+12] u/SavingsFew3440: Holding options this weekend is like paying to see the flop. [+12] u/Vort3x7689: Houthis joining it’s over for bol [+12] u/chuastan: Btw Rubio said another 2 to 4 weeks. Going back track record when it ends. I’ll know all of u by first name and much poorer for it. Thanks for the upvote that’s lovely Larry [+12] u/NotMe357: The biggest problem right now: 1. Iran War 2. High Inflation 3. Rate hike instead of cuts 4. Japan may do more rate hike soon. So Carry Trade is back 5. TACO is still the presiden [+12] u/LasyKuuga: Open mic night at Saudia Arabia isnt going well [+12] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: His loss bro. Don't sweat it! [+12] u/mygoalistomakeulol: RED DOG PICTURE RED DOG PICTURE RED DOG PICTURE RED DOG PICTURE RED DOG PICTURE [+12] u/oldprecision: Don’t think bubble can pop if it’s deflating. [+12] u/indyyo1: No trading next Friday heads up. [+12] u/WoodooRanger: Anyone expecting this conflict to resolve quickly is a moron. They have made it clear that they want to “reset” Iran back to the Stone Age so the “process” will continue regardless of what Taco is saying. He got no say in that. The economic destruction is no concern to them either as it does benefit the elites. Our portfolios are cooked but that is not important. Go spend some time with your family and friends, buy few extra supplies, and enjoy your life. I hope that I’m wrong, but things might get more bumpy in the weeks and months ahead. Have a great weekend my regards! [+12] u/Dizzy-Green-3188: Manego has to make a decision. Take the L or SPY 560 [+12] u/Historical_Bother274: This is just a senile granddad at this point [+12] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Reddit is starting to stifle any 🥭 dissent. You have been warned. Be careful with your words [+12] u/LasyKuuga: Bro literally saying it could be worse [+12] u/unusual_xyz: "Tonight, we are closer than ever to the rise of the Middle East that is finally free from Iranian terror and aggression" Is 'tonight's the night'? [+12] u/deadflagblue: Any mango supporters want to explain their thinking? [+12] u/WingedScapula420: We should do an "In Memoriam" slide show at the end of the year to commemorate all the portfolios lost before their time [+12] u/BarbellPadawan: The only bull case is that 🥭 definitely doesn’t want markets to be red. He hates it more than permabulls. And that’s literally the only bull case. [+12] u/These-Shoulder8017: As a mechanic I get oil on my face and people laugh at me. I paint my face orange, go out in public and people vote for me. Make it make sense. [+12] u/poot-lover: Crazy how “the DOW is over 50,000” was the top signal all along [+12] u/Vegetable_Push6542: One circuit breaker please. [+12] u/FastCar_5: In a world of rising energy costs why are we still wasting so much energy for useless internet corn 🌽 [+12] u/FartPolluter: Seems pretty obvious that if we continue bleeding we'll get a peace deal. [+12] u/bidahtibull: Whilst he might be laughed at, just leaving in Iran at this point might be his best option. Let Israel deal with the fallout 😂 [+12] u/confused_teabagger: Trillion dollar idea and I want my cut if you use it: High altitude balloons for oil transport. [+12] u/Initial_Ad_9250: Bers will celebrate Armageddon if it helps their 1% OTM 0DTE spy puts [+12] u/cashflow_: One guy on Reddit says when he’s hungry he just imagines himself eating what he’s hungry for and feels satiated afterwards. Idk what I’m doing on this dumb website sometimes [+12] u/WrexyWrex: there is a half a million people marching in the UK and millions marching here right now pitchforks are out [+12] u/JohanLiebert92: Monday - fake relief Tuesday to Friday - 📉📉📉📉 [+12] u/mayorolivia: Hormuz forecast to report $94 EPS, up 2,047% yoy [+12] u/jonlmbs: The days of V shaped recoveries are over [+12] u/Bichael-Murry: red light therapy tho, for free [+12] u/bigboyvapesinc: This never would’ve happened if I was president [+12] u/Givemepie98: This is the funniest shit I’ve ever seen — we’re so cooked as a nation that people vote for this [+12] u/RonBlake: Rubio admitted yesterday that reopening SOH wasn’t really a priority anymore and the rest of the world will have to deal w it after US is gone [+12] u/yayahi: First weekend in a while I’ve been just waiting for market open. Let’s gooooo bruh [+12] u/42thefloor2011: Some retards are way too complacent here, expecting a counter rally next week. Bitch, VIX hasn't cracked 35 and the selling has been extremely orderly, you have NOT SEEN capitulation yet. But you will [+12] u/East-Description-243: Iran hacked FBI email! Can they at least get Epstein files so something good comes of this!? [+12] u/looool_k_libtard: Qqq only down 12%! Meanwhile like every stock in Nasdaq is down 20-70% in 4 months [+12] u/cone-in-cup: The primary goal of regime change and get rid of their nuclear stockpile failed… “unexpectedly” caused closure of strait of Hormuz and now the objective is to obliterate their military (can’t be done completely without boots on the ground) and open the strait of Hormuz… So the real goal is to open the strait of Hormuz which was open before the war… hmmmm [+12] u/orsomeshitidk: Look at us, just 40 retards all talking to ourselves in a room [+12] u/CityDweller19: There will be ~~no boots on the ground~~ ~~only a few boots~~ ~~1,000~~ ~~10,000~~ mandatory draft for all males under ~~25~~ ~~35~~ 75. [+12] u/2020isgreat: People really think monday will be green strictly because "there is no way the market falls more" lmao [+12] u/Kattilaeikka: I doesn't matter anymore when the war ends. The global energy markets and industrial supply chains are fucked. Inflation and rates will shoot up and we will enter a downturn like in 2022. This year is a wash. Better investing in 2027 or 2028. [+12] u/ToroLoco_TL: BREAKING: In a major escalation, Yemen's Houthi Group has officially joined the war with a ballistic missle launch at Israel, just as the war hit its one-month mark. All eyes are now on the Bab al-Mandab Strait. If closed, the world loses another ~6 million barrels of daily oil supply. [+12] u/ewzetf: who needs nukes when you can swarm things with a million drones, US is cooked zerg strategy irl [+12] u/OG_L0c: You know we're in a recession when Tiger Woods gets well pissed and crashes his car [+12] u/FullCopy: Zeppelin oil tankers. Fly over any straight. VC deck almost ready. [+12] u/Internal_Field5970: I’m so retarded it hurts [+12] u/cinciNattyLight: Israel still hasn’t responded to the Houthi strikes yet… my guess is they are planning a massive response. Puts on whatever the fuck Yemen produces. [+12] u/JohanLiebert92: 🥭 talking in third person on his truth social now. dementia kicking in [+12] u/Diet_Water: Tom Lee (fat cuck): nuclear Armageddon is technically bullish for Etherum [+12] u/Neel_Crashkari: My port gets bigger and bigger My package remains average [+12] u/cashflow_: Guys for today’s schtick im considering pretending to be a Wsb mod and threatening to ban people. Whatcha think? [+12] u/Subject_Delay5447: Things are so bad that even WSB is starting to have serious discussions now [+12] u/brucekeller: Ordered a bunch of sketch books and art supplies. I may draw like a 5 year old, but screw you AI! 👻 [+12] u/twostroke1: The mental gymnastics in here of people trying to convince themselves why their retarded bets will print is worse than a schizophrenic. [+12] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: Both sides can talk all they want.. but its unlikely US nor Iran will accept both peace/cease fire plans. So the fighting continues. [+12] u/wa_2050: They had to call Elon musk into the negotiations. Because we all know he’s so great with his words. [+12] u/ResidentPack4103: That bitch Carol Baskins Bondi told me the dow was at fifty thou [+12] u/Ready_Scratch_1902: an oil chokepoint has us by the balls. crazy. [+12] u/TechnologyEven6926: The Houthis are joining the war LMAO [+12] u/cannythecat: The administration brought in Elon as their negotiatior and bulls actually believe theres gonna be a ceasefire soon. [+12] u/Any_Life_6178: Bulls like this guy because he’s full of shit [+12] u/LouieM13: So it’s basically this: Monday: green to keep the bears on their toes Tuesday: bulls die Wednesday: volatile going both ways. Thursday: bulls die [+12] u/Gom_KBull: Weekend during war Bols: war's almost over 🥭 and kegsbreath: we must escalate Israel: we must escalate Iran: we must escalate Saudis: we must escalate Houthis: we must escalate [+12] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: >30% of all the oil infrastructure in the Middle East is destroyed! We are fucked for years! I don’t know how to break it to you guys, but the speed at which middle eastern nations will violate the human rights of southeast Asian migrant workers in order to get that infrastructure rebuilt would stagger you. [+12] u/WrexyWrex: If you need to paint your skin on every day then maybe something is wrong with you 😭 [+12] u/bearhunter429: #Having 6 red weeks in a row is so rare the last time it happened was during 2008-2009 crash. You guys have no idea how cooked bol is if this week is red. LMAO🤌 [+12] u/Antique_Cabinet8416: strippers saying babyfaced military dudes are coming in and blowing all their money before they get deployed, they always have the best DD [+12] u/cannythecat: Apparently the administration is bringing Elon to join in on "negotiations" Good luck bulls, theres a bunch of children in charge. [+12] u/LasyKuuga: # BARON HAS PUTS BUT I CANT PROVE IT [+12] u/softboiledjadepotato: I mean, all of us with 401ks lost money this week.. I just happened to watch every single 1 minute candle of it [+12] u/cashflow_: Tiger woods turned out to be a real piece of 💩 [+12] u/Poor_Life-choices: Have the markets already priced in Tiger's 4th DUI rollover, or will SPY bleed more Monday? [+12] u/GoogleKushforLunch: Calls on Duolingo since we all gotta learn Arabic soon lol [+12] u/ballsonreddit: Be careful with shorting this market You might overdose from gains [+12] u/lysergalien: Yall checkin futes, I'm checkin futas [+12] u/Fantastic_Pirate3948: It’s not too late, delete this bro. [+12] u/DrummerCompetitive20: Please go lower....I want cheaper shares to buy and hold [+12] u/T-WrecksArms: I’m a paperhanded betch and sold my META puts for 80% yesterday morning. Now at 580% [+12] u/rollinhating: after hearing what he said... spy @ <600 monday.. else shit is cooked [+12] u/DrummerCompetitive20: We are in one of those phases where we know every single day is gonna be red just how red will it be [+12] u/bearhunter429: #Microsoft literally went from $550 to $350 in several months on no news LMAO🤌 [+12] u/codespyder: You just know the extent of American war planning at the upper echelons is just Marco Rubio punching “what do we do next in Iran??” in Gemini or whatever the fuck [+12] u/Alwaysfavoriteasian: Houthi and the Blowfish [+12] u/Bitter_Ad_2500: "Talks are going well" ain't gonna cut it this time 🥭 [+12] u/Historical_Bother274: Next weekend is going to be terrible with how long the market will be closed [+12] u/LearningSPXonly: Took a personal loan to load up my account for next week. This time its different [+12] u/Moepenmoes: 10+ tankers just lifted off from Israel on the way to Iran, pretty weird that they remain visible on Flightradar [+12] u/Burger_Gouger: That Japanese old man accent. Holy fuck. Watching this high and buzzed is gold [+11] u/UnivalveX: I'm starting to think mango has completely lost the plot. like he was at 80 or 90% for a while. but now it's actually joever [+11] u/Purple-Image9960: Bers getting too confident big shrek coming for that ass this week [+11] u/siouxu: Bool look so dumb rn [+11] u/81458145: I made a g today, but i made it in a sleezy way 😏 [+11] u/AppleJuiceTwo: I've never seen anything more ironic than Russia condemning attacks on civilian infrastructure [+11] u/scooterhomeimprover: For anyone watching his remarks at the summit, holy shit bro….. [+11] u/g____19: Every post Covid grift is getting blown out. Probably housing next [+11] u/talaabo: 🥭 said "MBS didn't think he'd be kissing my a\*\*". He is truly crazy. [+11] u/TofuMeltatSunspot: I'm shaking. I'm literally going to be homeless. [+11] u/JesseWayland: Could be take the L AND spy 560 [+11] u/Pete26l96: why is it always the people who lost $500 to $2000 being the most dramatic lol [+11] u/thewiggen: He’s so fucking dumb Jesus [+11] u/jamesjordisierra: Is he practicing stand up comedy ? [+11] u/chuastan: Very clearly this war will only end with US quietly eating the humble pie and back off and say objective met. ONLY way [+11] u/NiceJobSon: Lost a month’s salary today AND ran out of girl scout cookies 😡 [+11] u/looool_k_libtard: From highs... $NVDA -21% $GOOGL -22% $MSFT -36% $AAPL -14% $AMZN -23% $META -34% $TSLA -28% $AVGO -27% $ORCL -60% $CRM -39% $NFLX -31% $AMD -25% $PLTR -31% $MU -24% $IBM -27% $V and $MA -20% $LLY -23% [+11] u/sleepygarner: Why is the world so fucking gay? [+11] u/MrDee97: Was speaking to Gemini in February and they said sell 90% of my stocks because war will cause a correction… I will always be thankful LOL [+11] u/mr_stupid_face: When we win the war we will rename the strait to the Strait of Harambe. [+11] u/legible_print: Kash missed an opportunity to have FemaleBodyInspector as his XVideos handle [+11] u/BarbellPadawan: The only decent bull case is that 🥭 *really* doesn’t want high oil and red markets. Not sure he can close this Pandora’s box though. [+11] u/Eddyrancid: This asshole is gonna send Spy to 500 [+11] u/Great-Television1775: This is Requiem for a Dream level of sad. Like the watching scenes with main hero mom. Except the person causing it has nuclear weapons and controls the stock market. Just sitting with that for a second. Made $2000 today though. Beers on me. 🍺​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ [+11] u/Internal_Field5970: Wow these are literally all lies [+11] u/Internal_Field5970: He does not look good like more than usual [+11] u/No_Current3675: a fucking retard frat boy is running the pentagon. Jesus fuck. [+11] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Breaking: the Houthis have said that in order to end this war, Baron T will have to come to Iran and get shat on like Dubai Portapotties live in front of the world. [+11] u/Get_dat_money: 🥭 to invade Olive garden and capture their CEO. He heard they have oil. [+11] u/1M-to-Zero: If USA walks away, oil will be priced in Yuan and Iran will extract world’s oil tolls after the dust settles. USD will become irrelevant. If USA invades, they will suffer heavy casualties and be in constant war for next 10-20 years, USA along with USD will decline. Both are bad choices. [+11] u/burtburtburtcg: Bol anoos in January: o Bol anoos in March: 💥 [+11] u/StraitOfHummus: And Mango has just announced the US intends to leave NATO, or at the very least, not support them in an Article 5 situation. Not exactly bullish. [+11] u/Perfect_Painter_7863: its so fucking over honestly and im ultra leveraged with margin [+11] u/palmanul: 🌮: Please, please... Isreal & Iran : fuk u [+11] u/wathon2: I am numb to the losses. Down 5k today and I don't feel anything, just another Tuesday. [+11] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Apparently you win the war first and then you fight the war after that 🤔 [+11] u/SeaweedLeft9746: Witness me bears! 🐻🐻🐻🐻🐻 [+11] u/BarbellPadawan: Remember that guy who said humus was overrated? I hope he got banned. [+11] u/Weak_Emu3659: Raccoons having loud sex in the backyard again [+11] u/ModeForJoe: BREAKING NEWS: Trump wants his signature on the dollar bill, while Iran wants to block oil unless purchased with Yuan. Experts conclude they're trying to replace the Petrodollar with the Pedodollar. More at 11. [+11] u/BeepBoopDep: ARE YOU TIRED OF WINNING YET???? [+11] u/financiallythriving: When others lose money: *it’s not worth it, it’s just money. Take a deep breath and relax, it will be okay* When I lose money: *IM GONNA FUCKING END IT ALL AHHHHH* [+11] u/sauronII: Claude, tell me how to get out of this. Make no mistakes. [+11] u/slimeystevebob: "puts are expensive" No shit dumbass, they're expensive because they're valuable. [+11] u/TheBlueBlaze: > [Iran has bombed U.S. bases across the Middle East in retaliation for the U.S.-Israeli war, forcing many American troops to relocate to hotels and office spaces throughout the region, according to military personnel and American officials. So now much of the land-based military is, in essence, fighting the war while working remotely, with the exception of fighter pilots and crews operating and maintaining warplanes and conducting strikes.](https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/25/us/politics/iran-us-bases.html) I was waiting for some aftermarket bad news but holy shit this makes us look pathetic. [+11] u/LeakMyBigBowls: Alexa: play "I feel like dying" by lil wayne [+11] u/Ok-Piano8789: help me donni wan retardi you're my only hope [+11] u/Same_College2053: Wtf am i listening to. Did someone ask a 3 year old whats happening in the war? Fire... firee.. firee. Boom [+11] u/astrawberryandakiwi: 🥭 just said we’re going to attack cuba next…. Bro lol. [+11] u/Material_Formal3679: Thank the good lord this war isn’t woke. Then it would be really bad. [+11] u/Maximum-Side-9391: Sir if you knew the Dow dropped 10000 points while you were speaking would you be concerned? No my son has been short the Dow for weeks. Barron is a very smart little boy. He goes to Columbia or maybe NYU or Harvard. One of those schools where people are very smart I went to Penn you know and one thing I learned is how to manipulate financial markets. [+11] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: Bols thinking war in Iran is gonna end soon when there's a better chance for the "Peacemaker in chief" to start a new war in Cuba long before Iran is even done. [+11] u/hiphopanonomos: Time to disappear into the woods and come back in 2029 [+11] u/bearhunter429: #It will be anywhere from 6 to 8 months before the next green day but it could be longer too LMAO🤌 [+11] u/Who_is_Your_Zaddy: Y’all remember that show: 1000 ways to die? They should include one way that involves gambling with 0DTEs [+11] u/talaabo: Monday will be the first good old days of -5% [+11] u/AwarenessOk5979: You know the bottom isn't even close to this thing because people are still coping about a rally. But the rally they cope for is a dead cat bounce [+11] u/rhuffq: https://preview.redd.it/k70jfymddurg1.jpeg?width=1224&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=69ba4a6b99173a734f97f6febf80fc418b01962f [+11] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Y'all remember when we used to use Taco as a euphemism for pussy? ....we still do, technically [+11] u/avdvetf: Born too late to fight a war in the Middle East. Born too early to fight a war in the Middle East. Born just at the right time to fight a war in the Middle East. [+11] u/Micheal_Hancho: We are in BIG trouble if Hootie and the Blowfish close down the barbell mendez 😓 [+11] u/felipesizzosmoes: The CIA is not only in this thread, but they are actually moderators of this subreddit [+11] u/Metacog_Drivel: We could have elected a rock and we'd be at SPY 800 [+11] u/Responsible-Rip8793: HOW MANY RED DILDOS CAN A BOL FIT UP ITS ASS? 🤔 GUESS WE WILL FIND OUT MONDAY 😊👍 [+11] u/Ok_Cry7572: Friendly reminder that a -80% drop in ur port means you will need a +400% return now to get back to breakeven [+11] u/HistorianMuch8963: One time during COVID, after a couple red days, I played a 0dte calls for a gap down open bounce and paper hand after a 25% gains. That calls closed at 7000% It haunted me ever since.  This is my revenge. It will happen this week, I don't know when, but oh boy, I will ride this baby. [+11] u/AbrocomaNegative825: 😂⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 🤣⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎ ︎ ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀  ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎ ︎ ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ 😂⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀🤣 ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 😂⠀ ⠀︎ ︎ ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ😂⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎ ︎ ᅠ😂⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ🤣⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀😂 ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎😂⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎😂 ︎ ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀😂 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎ ︎ ᅠ⠀ ⠀ 🤣⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ 😂︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀😂 ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀😂 ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎ ︎ ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ᅠᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀🤣ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎ ︎ ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ😂⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀😂 ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀😂 ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀😂 ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎ ︎ ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀😂ᅠ⠀︎ ︎🤣⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀😂 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎ ︎ ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 😂⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀😂 ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀🤣 ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎ ︎ ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ 😂⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ᅠ⠀😂 ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎ ︎ ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎😂⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎🤣⠀ ⠀ᅠ😂⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀🤣 ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ😂⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎ ︎ ᅠ⠀ ⠀😂 ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ😂⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀😂ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ 😂⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ😂⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎ ︎ ᅠ⠀ ⠀ 😂⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀😂 ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎ ︎ ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 😂⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀😂ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀🤣 ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎ ︎ ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ🤣⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ 😂⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎ ︎ ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀🤣 ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀😂ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ 😂⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎ ︎ ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ᅠ⠀ᅠ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ 😂⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀😂🤣 😂 🤣ᅠ😂⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ ⠀ᅠ⠀︎ ︎⠀ ⠀ 😂⠀ ⠀ ⠀︎⠀ [+11] u/DramaticCustard5209: Someone made generational wealth today and it wasnt 🫵 [+11] u/ChrispyChicken1208: All that effort to short oil, and it’s still above $100. [+11] u/-IQ200: Why did everything start going bad as soon as I got my shit together? 🫩 [+11] u/Historical_Bother274: BOLS THIS WHAT YOU WERE WAITING FOR [+11] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: 18 trillions nobody will ever see but ok [+11] u/NeedToMakeMoneyz: He woke up one morning and asked how much he tariffed China and was surprised by the answer? That’s what the president just said right now?? [+11] u/thats_justice_baby: Ok bought the dip we can start going up now. [+11] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: Amerifats are asleep and I’m talkin to myself aren’t I [+11] u/Illimited_Esoterica: So Yemen is entering the war on the side of Iran and can now threaten logistics in the Red Sea. Chat are we almost done? [+11] u/bearhunter429: #This was the first time since 2022 that we had 5 red weeks in a row and only the second time since 2009. LMAO🤌 [+11] u/CUbuffGuy: Joined my first country club thanks to you regards [+11] u/McKoijion: > Israel has killed three journalists in a targeted strike on their car in southern Lebanon. https://www.aljazeera.com/news/liveblog/2026/3/28/iran-war-live-trump-again-slams-natos-lack-of-support-for-war-on-tehran [+11] u/tika_dengu: Pakistani diplomats from the negotiations appear to have given up. They’ve been saying "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" [+11] u/Boheed: You are special. You understand things nobody else does. You will profit. They will study your trades for generations. [+11] u/Soffatjockis: So, did yall have a nice weekend? Good. Cus this week is going to be worse than last week. [+11] u/SouthNice7324: I can 100% guarantee we will not see a red trading day next Friday, you are welcome [+11] u/Apfelmoes_: Guy's forcing a bunch of Arab oligarchs to listen to his campaign trail greatest hits for an hour 🤣 [+11] u/dinglebarryb0nds: Not drinking watching this basketball game and they just keep saying boozer every 3 seconds [+11] u/pumpkin1986: Hit me with that Sunday pump fruit boy [+11] u/BarberQuarter: Imagine Iran closes Hormuz and Houthis close red sea. 🥭 tries to take over an island so Iran destroys gulf infrastructure. 🥭 responds by destroying Iranian oil infrastructure. [+11] u/pootenanner: Imagine if we had a Fox News anchor as the secretary of the department of defense I mean war. Ohhhh, nevermind. [+11] u/Ok-Piano8789: i got nothin to do =\[ [+11] u/Gristle__McThornbody: Another sleepless night knowing Trump has the nuclear codes. [+11] u/Curious-Visual4525: Im 80% in norwegian oil companies. Equinor is nice divident and buybacks! Once the market "bottoms" or dips i will start buying mining stocks because gold going 10k+ probably later this year. [+11] u/ShittyUsernane1222: 17 million oil short order just hit. Two possible scenarios: \-1. Some fund is shorting oil, thinking they won't be short squeezed despite supply shortage and demand inelasticity \-2. TACO event is imminent, this is not a drill [+11] u/Smile-Nod: Open the Epstein Memorial Casino [+11] u/Prestigious_Year_621: How did one guy manage to fuck up so much shit [+11] u/mardigrasmoker: Sold my puts for a -25% only to watch them close at +200%. I would say being responsible caused this, but what responsible person is even buying 0DTE? [+11] u/OsamaBagHolding: Only 3 people want this war, two of them are Lindsey Graham and the 3 is who ever is in the stall with him [+11] u/Automatic-Mountain45: The Apocalypse is upon us [+11] u/Outdoormadness1: Trump is a perfect representation of the US of A. LMFAO [+11] u/Overall-Web-5435: I'm losing brain cells listening to this summit. Jesus christ [+11] u/PositiveEdge4361: Am I sexist if I’m only attracted to women [+11] u/neutralpoliticsbot: Tiger Woods dude, just buy a fucking Tesla and let FSD drive you fool, you can drive drunk, high, fucking half asleep. What are you doing bro??? [+11] u/lysergalien: People on stocks subreddit talmbout we're heading for the lost decades 😂 [+11] u/WingedScapula420: Would be a terrible shame if Iranian hackers were to delete my student loans [+11] u/LarryStink: After half a lifetime of being a stoner and alcoholic (high functioning and "successful") i have never felt better since getting sober. [+11] u/Castopliani: If you were out of the market since 2021 you can still buy MSFT at almost the same price [+11] u/SylphCo93: Bringing stability to the middle east by bombing it is as dumb as trying to stick your dick in crazy to fix a hoe. It's common sense not to do it, but there's always gotta be that dumbass who think now will be different. [+11] u/Rvin16: got an air purifier and my god its amazing [+11] u/AndItsThetaAgain: #NO CRYING IN THE CASINO 🎰 [+11] u/GrandKnew: 3 years from now a starter home will be 1.25 mm and used cars with 85,000 miles will sell for $100k [+11] u/Affectionate_Fan_617: Don’t have to worry about capital gain taxes this year [+11] u/followedbymeteor: Bulls in last 2 weeks have lost 5 years worth of gains 😂 [+11] u/Background_Chapter35: These questions are definitely NOT screened. First question is from an Israeli 💀 [+11] u/AppleJuiceTwo: wow what a fucking cunt [+11] u/bklotrgoblet: Can everyone shut up for a second I can’t read all the comments [+11] u/Kind-Recognition4528: Waiting for SPY to drop even harder just so I can say I lost my money in the SPY instead of day trading like a retard highly leveraged [+11] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: this is your daily reminder to whisper *FINANCIAL_CRISIS* to a boomer near you 🫵 [+11] u/Paul_Robert_: Lmao @ PAM being on the stock ticker board 💀 [+11] u/HowLongCanIMakeACock: Farting in an echo chamber [+11] u/dataCollector42069: about to workout, take a shit ton of edibles, and enjoy some Zyns [+10] u/Coley44: Fuck does he mean "Cuba is next" man. He's going to send the global economy back two decades [+10] u/selfemployedsince16: It’s gotten to the point where even if vance, miller and trump do open their mouths I don’t want to click play on the video. Liar television got boring. I saw it said that Iran won’t try to retaliate by taking out our leaders…. Because they are more helpful to Iran’s cause than ours…. [+10] u/RemarkableVictory990: He should've just done Cuba they don't matter instead he fucks with the most important trade chokepoint in the world [+10] u/tgff333: his speeches are starting to look just sad [+10] u/Burger_Gouger: BRO WHAT THE FUCK IS RAISING CANES DOING IN THIS RAMBLE [+10] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: god FUCKING dammit this gooning is RUINING MY LIFE it has been over 2 fucking hours and NOTHING!!!!! FUCKING NOTHING I'm just mashing it around like a chewed piece of gum WHAT IS GOING ON HOW DID MY LIFE BECOME THIS [+10] u/Wowmuchrya: Gona jerk off to the headline that this clown invaded Kharg island overnight before the guaranteed gap down on Monday. Yes bro your secret plan is as secret as Kash Patel’s emails. [+10] u/ballsonreddit: Rubio tells allies Iran war will continue 2-4 more weeks [https://www.axios.com/2026/03/27/iran-war-timeline-rubio-2-4-weeks](https://www.axios.com/2026/03/27/iran-war-timeline-rubio-2-4-weeks) [+10] u/bringkiteback: I bet I can kill myself faster than yall [+10] u/BarbellPadawan: Sounds like we’re winning this military operation. Just as Pyrrhus won his. [+10] u/UNEXPECTED_PREQUEL: "THIS IS THE PREVIOUS GUY'S STOCK MARKET" - 🥭 [+10] u/Historical_Bother274: Did he just say Democrats are like Iran? [+10] u/defordj: He's stealing your money, and he's stealing your future, and only half of you care [+10] u/31andnotdone: [ Removed by Reddit ] [+10] u/Pinklitmusshirt: At a bar right now and I overheard some bol boomers saying that they aren’t worried about the market and it’s going to comeback 😂 [+10] u/leshermes: we’re going to have a dead cat bounce monday & tuesday, then dump Wednesday - Friday [+10] u/Competitive_Ride: https://www.reddit.com/r/USMC/s/V9TPeJyuyx This is interesting. They’re most likely going in [+10] u/Ok-Piano8789: its funny u can just say the retard and everyone knows who it is [+10] u/andymoney17: Bols when weekend Dow up: “shrek green dildo candle on weekend Dow. Prepare your anooses gey bers 😜” Bols when weekend Dow down: “Gey Bers acting like weekend Dow matter LOL 😂 “ [+10] u/Fantastic_Pirate3948: The real winners were people selling 700c for months [+10] u/RemarkableVictory990: Impressive yap session I can't take it anymore [+10] u/NYGiants181: Remember when we started a war over a closed strait that had already been open until we got involved? I do. [+10] u/borkdpasito: Oil +5% again tomorrow. [+10] u/kazkeb: The fact that Shitcoin hasn't broken down to the next level gives me hope that the market will bounce. The fact that my hopes rely on fake internet money doesn't give me much hope. [+10] u/Bichael-Murry: ALL STRAIGHTS ARE NOW BANNED ONLY GAE FROM NOW ON TRANS FOR EVERYONE! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER [+10] u/Educational-Cat-2553: "Markets are overreacting to what will likely be a 4- to 6-week period of volatility, which will ultimately result in 50 years of stability in oil markets, supply chains and geopolitics." Regardest take [+10] u/Cold_Distribution273: Al Jazeera had a piece on how 🥭 talked about invading and taking kharg like 38 years ago. Strange how things work out huh. [+10] u/ConstantAd1: >US Envoy Witkoff: I think there will be Iran meetings this week. Trump wants a peace deal. I thought Iran was begging for a peace deal? [+10] u/ConsiderationKey1658: If I had even a fraction of Tiger Woods money mofos would be chauffeuring me around when I was sober, let alone fucked up. [+10] u/Worth-Walk6265: Bro is fully demented. What the fuck are we doing here [+10] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: Im so glad I’m watching this w you guys [+10] u/Icommandyou: One of his supporters was arguing with me that the strait was closed since last 47 years I lost my mind after that comment [+10] u/Beginning-Visual2341: Sunday night 8pm est. “we are winning, negotiations are going great”. Market pump lol [+10] u/ConstantAd1: None of you have taken part in a ground invasion of Kharg Island and it shows [+10] u/ajibtunes: Tomorrow is my cousins wedding, she gave me my first hj 😞 [+10] u/DrummerCompetitive20: Everybody has a plan till they get margin called [+10] u/NotMe357: "More than 3,500 U.S. troops, including the USS Tripoli with about 2,500 Marines, have arrived in the Middle East, per CBS" Peace Talk! [+10] u/Amazing-Topic2827: Now that the news has turned to imminent ground invasion, is anyone here still expecting this golden tweet that will save the day or are we all on the same page [+10] u/unikuenobody: Just had a linkedin recruiter contact me regarding a janitor position. It's $22/hr, full benefits, public building. Is this a sign? [+10] u/CanAdditional8109: during covid i remember going all in on the negativity... thinking everything was absolutely fucked. Sold at losses, threw my hands up in the air and prepared for the end. Then the market just rallied and I got hosed. I know things are dire and seem like there's no way out, but try not to give in completely my good chums. [+10] u/tgff333: I bet he thinks each speech he gives is different that the one before [+10] u/astromouse2024: Bought calls yesterday and shut off rh notifications [+10] u/Internal_Field5970: The most out of touch speech I’ve ever seen [+10] u/GoogleKushforLunch: USA breaks from NATO and announces deal with OpenAI? [+10] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Gay bears we are about to feast on bol ass ORACLE'S CREDIT DEFAULT SWAPS GET CLOSE TO 2008 HIGH CLOSING LEVEL [+10] u/Emc79: "The only thing prohibiting this war from being over, is Iran shooting back. There would be no more war, should they not do that", Hegseth, P. [+10] u/derprondo: “There would be no rape if you just stopped fighting back and let me put it in” [+10] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: I’m starting to think that no one really knows what’s gonna happen, and this could violently move in either direction next week. [+10] u/SomePolack: This oil crisis will literally shrink the size of the economy  That’s why the market will tank [+10] u/GuyFieriFrostedTips: Don’t worry guys. It’s just “targeted missions” - we’re not REALLY sending ground troops. Just a little itsy bitsy excursion. [+10] u/ConstantSpace5809: U.S. MAY HAVE DROPPED ANTI-TANK MINES OVER A VILLAGE IN SOUTHERN IRAN, ANALYSTS SAY. [+10] u/PretendAgency2702: Theres a certain point when eating nacho cheese doritos where they go from tasty to disgusting. The trick is to not exceed that point so you don't feel like a pig [+10] u/PalsRocksMyWorld: Ok, I do a lot of shitposting, but 🥭 legit looks and sounds like he’s had a stroke. What the fuck. [+10] u/Apfelmoes_: I'm having a lot of trouble following this speech [+10] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: Stocks already hit an all time high guys. That's it, pack your bags. Mission accomplished. He doesn't need it to go any higher anymore. [+10] u/A_Chair_Bear: God the glory it would be to see a speech like this during market hours [+10] u/bendraw: You know what I like about investing? The money. Yep, it's pretty much the money, it's really great. You can buy things with that. [+10] u/100xOrBust: I’m basically Tiger Woods if he was bad at golf [+10] u/Gom_KBull: You think 🥭 will remember that fake deadline when it comes? Bro, he doesn't even remember which country he's fighting. [+10] u/jer72981m: Whoever guessed oil was so powerful? It shouldve Oil, paper, scissors. Fuck rock [+10] u/jasperCrow: They wait until 8 am Monday morning for good news. [+10] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: I'm out in public and haven't showered yet today 🥰 [+10] u/Salty-Bid1597: Imagine being American, lol [+10] u/OrdinaryMix4013: crazy shit we can point exactly where we fucked up as a nation [+10] u/FrostySoftPressure: Next week having compensation review, can’t wait for 1.5% increase, life will be different [+10] u/Treverer: If you think the situation right now is bad wait till the Houthis enter the cage with a foldable chair and some rpgs pointing at the Red Sea [+9] u/HG_Tannhaus_: They would reply if they could read. [+9] u/TERRAIN_PULL_UP_: Musk’s IPO happening during all this is just *chef’s kiss* [+9] u/Dbx84: But 🥭said that he completely and totally obliterated 100% of Iran's military. He wouldn't lie to the American people now would he? [+9] u/Gom_KBull: When he said he and the Ayatollah could be all buddy buddy and run the strait together, I cringed Like bro... you killed over a hundred kids and destroyed hospitals in their country unprovoked. [+9] u/Emotional-Bag1398: When Donny says this is Biden's market he is referring to things being the price they were when Biden was President. [+9] u/2020isgreat: You guys do know just because you wait a year doesn't mean stocks have to be green right [+9] u/Beazt11123: Someone somewhere bought shares of MSFT at $550. the poor regard [+9] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Dudes in audience on their phones: SELL, SELL EVERYTHING [+9] u/jamesjordisierra: I must have been real real nasty in my past lives to end up reencarnating in this timeline. [+9] u/Retaining-Wall: >Hit me with that pump fruit boy This could have a number of interpretations. [+9] u/BooBrew32: Don't worry, folks, Mango is an expert on Game Theory. He's been playing Candy Land all day to figure out how to win the war with Iran. [+9] u/Ceyenne18: Iran must have been inspired by Dune [+9] u/EatMoreSleepMore: CASH GANG WHERE YOU AT [+9] u/BearContra: 600 open on Monday will be awesome to see, lmao. [+9] u/NutmegKilla: Surely Microsoft won't keep going down next week right guys [+9] u/Internal_Field5970: Europoors have mercy on most of us when this is over [+9] u/No_Relief_8705: Imagine palantir if they could weaponize psychic damage like this speech [+9] u/moorhound: "His first name is Dan, but his nickname is Raisin" This man is pure comedy [+9] u/Disconn3cted: Imagine how hard this is gonna recover when this ends in 2036 [+9] u/FearlessStatement144: In addition to everything else watch for inverted yield curve. That said. Who’s ready for 626 to 650 in a shortened week? [+9] u/bm_mane8: 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 well done America [+9] u/Dizzy-Green-3188: If I ever see Tiger Woods driving im jumping onto the ground behind a wall for my own safety [+9] u/orsomeshitidk: Idk bout yall but I wouldn’t mind if 1/3rd of the country had to suffer these consequences instead of all of us lol [+9] u/isolated-cat: some of these fucking people running the "system" think and act like they hold all the cards when in reality one blow from nature and they will not be able to even run for the hills cause of how weak and pathetic they are. man, I so wish I get to see nature humble some of these idiots who think they are all powerful and control other people's lives [+9] u/Unlucky-Pound8363: I had to learn what oil futures are, just because of the Iran war , also only just learned about expiry and I don’t know how I’m going to store 400 barrels of oil in my garage next month…. [+9] u/Internal_Field5970: https://www.reddit.com/r/mildyinteresting/comments/1s5xtkr/looks_chopped_af/ Jesus Christ, all the money in the world and looking like this [+9] u/Character_Pirate_152: if there was any good news, they would be screaming it from the rooftops. [+9] u/Independent-Tree-985: The Oxford Comma is what separates the civilized world from the illiterate savages [+9] u/According-Page8618: someone openend 17 million oil short.. please baron save us [+9] u/cyril1991: So how is Michael Burry doing these days? [+9] u/M1BG: At times like this just close the app. And then open the app that allows you to transfer in additional liquidity. [+9] u/jasperCrow: Why his 👃🏽 so shiny? ✨ [+9] u/Dbestinvest: Little drop???? 50,000 Dow was the top [+9] u/smart_doge: After losing my vacation money on Venezuela and Iran, I am finally looking forward to Cuba! [+9] u/shortitforever: 90% cash, when should I panic out of my money market account and buy physical gold and ammunition? [+9] u/habfranco: Fans have hit the shit [+9] u/NotRobotNFL: Weeks of ground operation? Not a war though [+8] u/trumpdiego: ##Tiger Woods. ##Driver seat of oil tanker. ##Strait of Hormuz. [+8] u/Aggravating_Sir_4709: Bro's still talking about Sleepy like an angry-ex. Time to move on. [+8] u/Apfelmoes_: And we go out on the gay anthem for some reason 💃 [+8] u/Ok_Winner9825: Tsla being more than half of msft’s market cap is infuriating [+8] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: I didn’t know Kash Patels gooning station name is spiderkash [+8] u/0DTEKing: 300 million people are represented by a Piece of Shit 💩 [+8] u/Emc79: Who knew you all were electing a telegram style paid Pump and Dump moderator. [+8] u/McGrundie: Oil is NOT FINISHED going up folks 🥭🚀🚀🚀 [+8] u/LaMeraVergaSinPatas: Did we put the boobs on the ground bc polym says so [+7] u/deandotcom: My calls are fucked.