Daily Discussion Thread for March 27, 2026

wsbapp · 2026-03-27T11:01:26+00:00
Daily Discussion Thread for March 27, 2026 — AI-analyzed trade ideas from Reddit — r/wallstreetbets on Buzzberg.
AI Summary
Summary

The post is a Daily Discussion Thread from r/wallstreetbets capturing extreme market panic and bearish sentiment.
Users are reacting to a geopolitical crisis involving Iran shutting down a major strait, causing a massive oil supply shock, alongside political instability and tariffs.
Quality assessment: This is pure speculation, emotional venting, and noise typical of a daily discussion thread during a market sell-off.
Score 11
Comments 363
▶ Full Post Text

[+31] u/Standard-Top-5942: bro made up negotiations and then lost the made up negotiations

[+23] u/Frozen_Shades: A retarded 🥭's signature will now be on the US dollar bill changing it from the petrodollar to the pedodollar. 

Buy Gold.

[+19] u/Wowmuchrya: If your investment strategy is “HE WILL TWEET LOL!” you’re retarded and deserve this

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER

[+18] u/Artistic_Builder_641: Fuck you mango. Just fuck you

[+17] u/dylansavillan: wE'rE gOnNa WiN sO mUcH, yOu MaY eVeN gEt TiReD oF wInNiNg

[+15] u/BFox1982: Hard to believe our military planners were clueless that Iran would easily be able to shut down the strait.  Straight fucking retards.

[+14] u/Misc_Thoughts: It’s messed up that I learned about stocks on Reddit and Reddit stock is the one losing me the most money

[+13] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: This war is the price I’m willing to pay to see Iranian women on OF

[+13] u/Disconn3cted: Generational buying opportunity. 

Not today. A few weeks from now. 

After we've watched live feed of Iranian drones killing Americans

[+12] u/Coley44: Just six months ago people were calling others idiots for having any cash on the side 😭😭

[+12] u/MrNewking: My average cost on SPY is 696 🤡🥴

[+11] u/RogerBalderer: Imagine if trump did not issue any tariffs, and did not start this war? 

I mean everyone would have so much more money. Those two things entirely hindered the market.

[+11] u/dontslambro: There has only been 4 green weeks in the last 16 weeks 

7/8 weeks been Red. We are in the correction and recession is coming.

[+11] u/oldprecision: 🥭 tanked the economy and now his signature on the dollar bill is going to be the cherry on top.

[+10] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: A -3% day today would be god sent. It would mean investors are turning their backs on mango. At least thats what I would hope it would mean.

[+10] u/31andnotdone: today's thread is sponsored in part by bulls really thought and made possible by gooners like you

[+10] u/Tumping: I’ve lost it all and my wife is leaving me.

[+10] u/Specialist_Fig9458: Bols will look you right in the eye and tell you a third of global oil supply shutting down for over a month is actually a good thing LMAO

[+9] u/alphaalpha06: iran is shorting the top and will announce that all oil will be allowed to pass without issue - just to fuck me

[+9] u/CATLLM: SPY 620 today and will continue to bleed for the next 6 months

[+9] u/Fantastic_Welcome_61: VIX approaching 30 pre-market…

[+8] u/Rounder221: Sell everything, it's fucking over.

[+8] u/Visual-Squirrel3629: The market has to experience a derisking sell off going into this weekend.

[+8] u/Standard-Top-5942: &gt; pausing the period of Energy Plant destruction 

He's high, right? This is 4am adderall language.

[+8] u/hioman01: Techs are so fucked. We are going back to stone age LOL.

[+8] u/Misc_Thoughts: This might be the end of my derivative gambling career

[+8] u/No-Put2311: I know it sucks but I feel vindicated for running out of the theatre at the beginning of this war, sometimes it pays to be a panican

[+8] u/MooseyGoosey69: Atleast this thread will be active today

[+8] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: We need a return of the bull market these bears are starting to piss me off so bad I’m spelling shit right

[+8] u/blemdemman: haven’t gotten a good night’s sleep since Oct

[+7] u/J_da_CPA: Bro can’t 🌮 this time

[+7] u/zer0_chance284: The good news is that this sub is 100% bears rn so we are 100% going up

[+7] u/Bichael-Murry: imagine thinking they didnt call the top when they said SPX 7000 and Dow 50000

[+7] u/Logical-Clerk-1571: today we have:

bolfuk meat kebab

[+7] u/ProudestPeasant: war in the middle-east, the birthplace of Jesus, during easter

[+7] u/BarbellPadawan: I’m glad more of you know how neat puts are now, instead of just me and u/31andnotdone known’ it.

[+7] u/doolytokki: im usually on the other side... but... 

get cucked bools

[+7] u/ShittyUsernane1222: Oil to 1000 dollars.

No better way to encourage lazy MFs in government to invest in renewables, wealth redistribution to lessen wealth inequality and sustainable global multipolar peace.

Modern Wars can't be fought if everyone is out of oil.

[+7] u/CPA-hole: Remember when stonks went up? 

I member

[+7] u/Fit-Opportunity5477: Alcohol + puts is my plan for the day

[+7] u/ProudestPeasant: US has the most sophisticated marketing in the world and hollywood is just an extension of the US propaganda machine

how the yankee always the 'good guy' and the dude from the other country always the 'bad guy'

[+7] u/sailortyx56: They are popping the AI bubble quietly while the world is focused on Middle East.

[+7] u/Confident-Window4928: The bols have passed denial and reached the bargaining stage of grief

[+7] u/Ok_Time_8815: This is Trumps economy and Stock market?

[+6] u/CDulst: TACO calling for a stock market doubling during his presidency was peak euphoria. Truly was a top is in moment.

[+6] u/Logical-Clerk-1571: i am pausing destruction of my toilet for 2 hours, thank you for your attention to this matter

[+6] u/Coley44: Gonna be so funny when he pumps it straight after market close and the market fades it on Sunday futures opening lmao

[+6] u/tsunamiwaves_: I’m getting numb to the red. Capitulation is near.

[+6] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: Spy was 700. MSFT was 550. There are ppl here praying for spy 660 and msft to 410.

we r fkd.

[+6] u/jjervv: Woah circuit breaker day

[+6] u/BarbellPadawan: You know that it’s a bear market because of the way that it is.

[+6] u/CATLLM: AI taking all the jobs and bread heading to $100 a loaf. Its over.

[+6] u/Trashpanda7193: Not gonna look at my port for 6 months

[+6] u/drpa1n: Can’t wait for him to wake up pissed that not even bol swallowed his lies

[+6] u/Any-Camel-9913: i mean, it was the most obvious crash ever but it was tricky to play with big money because of manipulation tweets from 🥭

now it's just free fall city

and with every passing week that strait is still closed, situation gets worse.

[+6] u/SoloOutdoor: Ngl im totally ok with meta going bankrupt

[+6] u/KlBAS: So many bulls yesterday gloating seeing their calls going up at 4:11 it’s getting sad

[+6] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: They guy who said spy 650-40ish few months ago deserves the best hookers.

[+6] u/Visible_Sir7057: Im warning you guys , ive gotten liquidated which means we will pump , and ive started having bearish thoughts aswell

[+6] u/Graymyst: JPMorgan asset fuckin manager say : oil should be up 20% since it's only 20% oil being blocked.

How clueless can you be to access this position x)

[+6] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: Imagine if the tweet is from the white house and it says "with sadness in our hears, we annouce the XXX"

spy 800.

[+5] u/MoleMan199: The entire free world economy is relying on a 7’ autistic son to wake up and make a tweet from his fat dads Oval Office. Michael Scott couldn’t have directed this

[+5] u/Heineken_500ml: Great depression starting

[+5] u/User0198888: No pump = Goooooood morning

[+5] u/Irishbros1991: New thread same damage

[+5] u/ferin_patel: I cannot bear this anymore

[+5] u/music_crawler: We missed the soft landing window didn't we? Seems like this is the big one now. Today DOW goes below 45.

[+5] u/Skilledthunder: You know what, maybe we don't open the casino today

[+5] u/Fast_Bet_7362: It’s amazing how dumb this place is. 5 years time nobody is going to care about this war and your money should have doubled by then.

Know the game you are playing. It isn’t measured in days or weeks or months.

[+5] u/LarryStink: Annunaki 🗿 

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[+5] u/dontslambro: Working in 5 straight weeks down on the market. 
VIX and Oil roaring on a Friday. Not a great look.
Boomers pulling out of the market now

[+5] u/J_da_CPA: How are you guys getting ready for the famine?

[+5] u/EarlyPattern6315: No way a fifth consecutive week of losses happens

[+5] u/CATLLM: That movie Civil War by Alex Garland…

[+5] u/mugirawraw: 0DTE calls are good odds today imo

[+5] u/Namtabmal: Why are you regards crying about red? Just short it ffs. 🤦

[+5] u/ScytherDOTA: Omigod my first PUT is coming to fruit, I only put 1000$ on it but im gonna buy phone for my wife's birthday, pls dont fuck me right at open SPY.

[+5] u/Mammoth-Librarian580: Mango needs to taco immediately

[+5] u/Dumb__Money: Extending the closure of the Strait of Hormuz for another 10 days—how can that be good?

[+5] u/fuck_zebster: Guys dont worry there's alot more stupid things like not renewing nafta that have not been priced in .

[+5] u/Background-Nothing71: Yesterday I sold all my calls and broke even, and it feels like I made $30K given how much dumping is happening right now.

[+52] u/DrSeuss1020: I’ve lost a ton of money in the last few months. But this morning my kid drew a picture I found in his backpack from school that said his favorite thing from going on a field trip recently was that I was there with him. Shit brought tears to my eyes. Don’t think he realizes I’m basically going to hold onto this memory forever

[+33] u/brute-forced: I hate to tell Pam that DOW 50K was the top.

[+28] u/NervousChemistry7401: Turns out dementia isn’t good for the economy.

[+26] u/UnderB0SS: Today is a pretty strong indicator that 🌮is losing control of the narrative and situation.

[+26] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: you start 1 war and all of the sudden you are a bad guy

[+21] u/Previous_Hope_2087: What’s a global economy next to one man’s ego?

[+19] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: They're going to be entire history books and classes taught on how fucking weird this past decade has been.

[+18] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Murica gonna go from "They're eating the dogs and the cats."

To

"We're eating the dogs and the cats."

[+17] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: Boys. The dishwasher needs to be emptied and I didn’t realize it. I used a plate, if I leave it in the sink my wife will be pissed. Fuck it, I’m taking it to work with me. Not unloading that shit

[+17] u/Leather_Mention5916: Guys heard of a pennystock called Microsoft? Looks promising something with computers and internet!

[+16] u/thadcorn: The Taliban had a popular saying, "America has the watches, but we have the time"

Apparently, the admin completely forgot how these guys function and this is why we have as big of a shitshow that we have now in Iran. 

✨️ I'm in my bear-era ✨️

[+15] u/dogefool88: Buy-the-dip gang in trouble

[+15] u/deadbutdreaming_: So the current objective of the war is to reopen the strait of Hormuz… which was already open before the war… and now Iran is able to tax ships going through it…

I didn’t know Baron had calls on Iran

👍

[+15] u/Manufactured_feces: Jimmy Carter was a way better president than he got credit for

[+15] u/Select-Roll-4041: Fuck a relief rally bro just dump and get this shit over with don’t prolong it

[+15] u/Angelwatch42: The half-life market effect of Trump’s tweets is decreasing.

[+14] u/Consistent-Bake-5666: truth social tweets aren’t hit the same no more haha

[+14] u/itzfaint1397: Iran out of money on my positions and the loss Israel.

[+14] u/Cav829: This market is so bad Ronald McDonald just filled out a job application at Wendy's.

[+13] u/Urzuck: Why oil keeps going up if we already won the war six times?

[+13] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: Raise the fuckin rates

[+13] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: I bought the dip but it kept dipping

[+13] u/Ok_Advantage_8153: What did we expect from the man who bankrupted casinos?

[+13] u/NoSort9076: # US strikes on Iran energy sites potentially could lead to a global economic ‘meltdown’

Ali Vaez, from the International Crisis Group, says President Trump’s 10-day delay of his threat to attack Iran’s energy sector is an effort to quiet turmoil in global markets and move more military options into place.

He expressed pessimism that diplomacy will prevail at this point.

SO.MUCH.WINNING.

[+12] u/compileFailure_: Just woke up. Oh wow this is bad.

[+12] u/Ready_Scratch_1902: the good news is we can't go any lower 

that's what my garage door repair guy said yesterday

[+12] u/apurimac777: Recalls to mind how the Universal Economy tanked when the God Emperor cut off spice from Arrakis

[+12] u/OscarCapac: The taco/deal recovery will be legendary

For the insiders.

[+12] u/BigShmokeBuffer: Smokin’ crack and rippin’ beyblades waiting for this market to open 😎

[+12] u/clockwork5ive: Anyone else have that little voice in the back of your head that starts whispering at 7:45 am on your day off one simple but very powerful message…

“hey why not smoke some weed?”

[+11] u/Defiant-Fee-7550: having funeral for my portfolio today 🫡

[+11] u/Ok-Barracuda39: Morning, Kings and Queens! If charts and stonks are getting to you, make sure you step away and maybe get a nice double pepperoni pizza or cheeseburger.  Treat yourself every once in a while, please.  You are worth it.

[+11] u/pinghing: let's go into Iran a quick 20 minute adventure!

[+11] u/wafflepiezz: #RECESSION DEPRESSION TIME

[+11] u/jonneh: Good morning, good morning ☀️

I think the US should use the bald British guy on Bloomberg to block the Strait with his big ass fucking head so no one gets to use it. Then Iran would be forced to make a deal.

Good morning.

[+11] u/According-Page8618: not even during tarrifs we had 5 red weeks. lol

[+11] u/AMX_revue: Is the V in the room with us

[+11] u/BigShmokeBuffer: Bers r so fuk

… once we have infinite data centers in space 😌

[+11] u/According-Page8618: im such a great trader

i sold rocketlab at 99, nbis at 130, corewave 147, asts at 120, all of them almost at their ATH for like 30k profit ~ 

then proceeded to buy meta googl msft nvidia and now lost the 30k. dm me for tips.

[+11] u/Revolutionary-Owl766: Calling it now. Poor by open.

[+10] u/DrummerCompetitive20: Trump literally taco'd and the market is like: We dont care....LOL

[+10] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Feels like a +2% or -5% day no in between

[+10] u/AMX_revue: Iran nuking bol port was on my bingo list

[+10] u/Coogiez: I need to get on the phone with the spy ceo rn

[+10] u/Internal_Field5970: This is like the movie Radio but instead of a football player, he’s the president.

[+10] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: I’m up about 10% YTD and down overall lifetime. What does this tell me?? I thrive in hard markets.

[+10] u/Sengle473: Ah yes, delay until April, so it’ll be consider liberty day 2.0 big brain move there.

[+10] u/ercanbas: If he tries to TACO again this morning, I’ll die laughing.

[+10] u/Afraid-Berry9386: Ok I’m long term investor now

[+10] u/Alimakakos: Anyone still remember the Epstein thing?

War is doing its job....

[+10] u/ConstantEfficiency83: Remember, we haven’t capitulated yet. There is a -4-7% day lurking.

[+10] u/S-Club-Party: If you just asked “what happened” or “what was that candle” then congratulations - it’s your day to learn something new!

Overnight trading and dark pools reconcile every day at 8am, so the tape gets wonky for a minute. Even looking at premarket before that is basically a waste of time.

[+10] u/DFW_BjornFree: Bro nothing is pumping lmfao

[+9] u/hunnna: Born just in time to see USD turned into actual Monopoly money

[+9] u/SergeantThreat: Next 🥭 post: “This country is the nastiest skank bitch I've ever met! Do not trust her! She is a fugly slut!!”

[+9] u/justarandumthrowaway: be regarded when others are fearful

[+9] u/Happy-Champion1661: buy puts cuz market is fuk but then taco tweets and market rips, "fuk your puts", so buy calls but then his tweets don't come or not move the market so keep buying puts but puts are gey so buy leaps but why buy now wen you can buy at 50% discount in 2weeks but inverse me so buy now but if you buy now then inverse yourself also and buy yesterday.. 

yeah buy puts

[+9] u/oUps6TudBLRtM3FBfByC: I don't know about you guys, but I am starting to believe the Bogdanoff dump it meme is real. Every single time I buy, boom, it dumps.

[+9] u/Bxdwfl: "he's still holding? rug it"

[+9] u/Sea_Variety_1691: Get this guy gone please.

[+9] u/GenesGeniesJeans: If you can’t handle the market when it’s ber, you don’t deserve it when it’s bol 💅🏻

[+9] u/ybnesman3223: Iran war thing broke out feb 28. The shortages will be felt hard next week

[+9] u/soapchewer2: This is all because he pooped his pants in the Oval Office on camera

[+9] u/sloanemonroe: Coming soon…”Pete Hegseth?  I always thought he was terrible at his job. I hardly know him.”  When he gets fired.

[+9] u/shindiggaa: It's been a pleasure. Nice knowing y'all

[+9] u/No_Inspection649: We're winning too much!  We can't take it anymore!

[+9] u/According-Page8618: premarket is on premarket monday low. 

yday's low is on fridays low 

probably pump to +0% today and stay there for the weekend

[+9] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: So for those of you wanting an update. I did put the dishes away. My excuse was I didn’t want to wake her… she always says oh I didn’t hear when you put them away. Made sure to bang that shit as loud as I could this morning

[+9] u/Successful-Pass-568: If you’re just joining us

Let’s bring you up to speed:

\&gt;Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) warned ships against using the Strait of Hormuz to travel to and from ports of US-Israeli allies, saying the route is “closed to enemies”.

\&gt;The IRGC also urged civilians in the Middle East to avoid areas where US troops are stationed, suggesting those places could be targets of Iranian attacks.

Drone and missile attacks continued to target infrastructure in the Gulf, including Kuwait’s main commercial Shuwaikh Port.

\&gt;Israel issued a new displacement threat for the southern Lebanese village of Sajd as it pushed to expand its ground invasion.

\&gt;Secretary of State Marco Rubio joined G7 allies in France for Iran-focused talks after President Trump disparaged NATO nations for refusing to help in the Israeli-US attack on Iran.

[+9] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: I hope Meta goes down another 100. Fuck those greedy little piggies.

[+9] u/SalemKinkTrials: Do yourselves a favor and come back on Monday (when it’s even redder 🔥)

[+9] u/Commercial_Seat_3704: Nasdaq is officially in a correction after hitting an all time high 2 months ago.  Thanks 🥭.

[+9] u/Weak_Emu3659: 🎶*Loud Arabic Music* 🎶

[+9] u/the_mind_goblin1: have they tried adding an AI chat bot to the oil market

[+9] u/Internal_Field5970: I’m down with voter ID if they add an IQ test and sobriety test as well

[+9] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Sure your 401k is down 10% but your dollars are also worth less so it evens out,  right?

[+9] u/Bam2458: We’re due for a big green-for-no-reason week. Always happens during the bear times.

[+9] u/ckami_91: Trump is panik tweeting with the market entering a full blown bear market 

LMAOOO

[+9] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Phinally someone said it

[+8] u/Ok-Piano8789: irans ai propaganda is kinda fire tbh

[+8] u/jyohnyb: Military recruit age is now 62. Drafting walmart door checkers now.  Strapped up

[+8] u/Slow-Astronaut-2135: The only thing that saves us is an obituary.

[+8] u/Perfect-Studio-3350: Guys can someone explain if the entirety of this sub has ever been wrong. I’m ber but lowkey scared that we all bears today 🐻

[+8] u/brute-forced: The economy is in shambles. Chaos, uncertainty and doubt is at all time highs

[+8] u/Ill-Expression1737: rip sleepy joe he was one of the good ones

[+8] u/Urzuck: Oh god Tom Fat Cuck Lee just found dead in a ditch.

[+8] u/looool_k_libtard: 650 bps emergency hike, gas hits $5.50, mortgage rates 11%, unemployment rapidly hits 15%, draft reinstated with 700,000 deployed.

[+8] u/Responsible-Rip8793: Fearful of a recession? 🤔 

Not me. 😌

Recessions don’t matter if you are already broke 😉

Stay tuned for other helpful tips and words of wisdom in these trying times

[+8] u/FineJuggernaut3295: Thought I was a genius, turns out we were just in a bull market

[+8] u/Competitive-Water944: Gonna rename it to Poors 500

[+8] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: another fake tweet today before boots on the ground ?

[+8] u/BigBlackAssEater: Beginning to thinking wasting money on maxing out a 401K isn't the best idea for the long term

[+8] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: If it pumps at any point today I'm buying puts. I can tell the way they were talking yesterday they're about to pull some dumb shit over the weekend

[+8] u/Basis_404_: Equal weight SP500 is now only up 1% since November 2024

[+8] u/awetfartruinedmylife: Breaking: 🥭reaches agreement with Tehran to deploy boots on the ground

[+8] u/LasyKuuga: My port cannot afford to have a recession rn

[+7] u/jackrapp: Extraordinary bearish in here. Inverse WSB

[+7] u/rnbwshrm: The most desperate tweet incoming

[+7] u/ThouOne: Option port goes down = No problem

Stock port goes down = Big big problem

[+7] u/brute-forced: Raise rates, try to stop this insane inflation

[+7] u/youreaditfirst: Quit being pussies. Yeah it sucks for now but now its all.about timing. This is an investors dream right now and yall are a bunch of fucking idiots. This is when you make the real money.

[+7] u/sauronII: too bearish to fall, too fcked to rise.
Mostly flat today.

[+7] u/Major_South1103: Mang0 will announce a special military operation on our portfolio's tonight.

[+7] u/TheBurtolorian: What is the strategy of Trump in Iran?

[+7] u/Weak-Equal-9084: Michael Burry was right :(

[+7] u/sunmbitch: Did 🥭become the fake news?

[+7] u/be_o3: Really want to puke abt not selling mu

[+7] u/unique_ptr: https://www.kenklippenstein.com/p/is-a-ground-war-with-iran-imminent?triedRedirect=true

&gt;In actuality, one of the three ships, the USS San Diego, never left Japan and is still there. And the other two ships, carrying just 1,500 fighters, are sitting at Diego Garcia, roughly 4,260 kilometers from Iran’s coastline.

&gt;And that second Marine Expeditionary Unit? Contrary to some reporting that said that the USS Boxer Group left Hawaii on March 19, it departed San Diego. It will have to cover approximately 22,200 kilometers to reach the region and wouldn’t be able to arrive until mid-April at the earliest.

I no longer have any fuckin' clue what's happening

[+7] u/djklmnop: Reddit is nothing more than a multiplayer notepad.

[+7] u/cannythecat: Some clowns really bought off 🥭 's tweet

[+7] u/Kind-Recognition4528: 🥭 said he tought it was gonna drop more. Hell get it today and monday

[+7] u/Express-Initiative-8: The secret to not losing money is to not let others take it away

[+7] u/ThinCrusts: #642 was the bottom. 

You heard it here first

[+7] u/Bam2458: SPY’s March 2026 candle looks the exact same as it’s March 2025 candle

[+7] u/Worried_Quarter469: We actually managed to lose territory in the war

[+7] u/OkResponsibility2470: Fuk it’s lose lose, even if puts print ur 401k is gonna become a 301k

[+7] u/hunnna: Hey but no more unisex bathrooms, right?

[+7] u/Comfortable-Sky7801: We all know an invasion is coming, just rip the bandaid off and do it. Cant kick this particular can down the road

[+7] u/Fineous40: It’s a good thing all this shit happened when the economy was rock solid…….

[+7] u/BigShmokeBuffer: Unrealized losses are stored in the balls

… cos your future kids are growing up poor for sure 😎

[+7] u/saintmitchy: The Dow is down 8% since Pam Bondi told us it was something we should be talking about. Was she warning us?

[+7] u/Internal_Field5970: I don’t eat enough eggs to justify the higher prices on literally everything else with this guy

[+7] u/Erieztoys: War, Shitty Economy, Bonds, Stocks, Metals, Crypto, Dollar falling off a cliff and now a new COVID variant called Cicada.  The 2026 Bingo Card filling up fast.

[+7] u/Fineous40: My 128GB of retirement ram is red AF.

[+7] u/Zfreezy: What are these spikes lol

[+7] u/imakeitrayn: what the fuck are these 1 second $648.20 candles

[+7] u/drakilian: Shhh, it's okay bulls, just close your eyes, you've fought hard enough now rest

[+7] u/TraipseTraveller: If you live on the west coast and you're on this thread at 5AM, you have reached ultra degenerate status

[+7] u/Sidney_Godsby: You’ve got some boot on your teeth

[+7] u/sloanemonroe: It’s not risk tolerance. It’s sheer stupidity and not knowing or caring what could happen

[+7] u/rnbwshrm: Yes, metrics will save you now

[+6] u/teamdiabetes11: You guys ever wonder if people who are too stupid to realize they’re stupid actually have it better than us?  We think we are smart and just turn out to be the dumbest motherfuckers in the room.  Ignorance is bliss I guess.  Calls because I don’t feel pain anymore.

[+6] u/Fhyzikz: I think it would be nice to see a tweet that says "I AM HEREBY ORDERING A WITHDRAWAL OF ALL TROOPS FROM THE REGION IN THE SPIRIT OF PEACE NEGOTIATIONS AND AS A SHOW OF GOOD FAITH. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER." 

And then I better fucking see some ship movement on maritime trackers IMMEDIATELY away from the region

[+6] u/Additional_Diver584: Dude can we go back in time and just get the ice cream dude instead? Like for fucks sake, I am losing so much money everyday

[+6] u/ThouOne: Change of plans, DCAing leaps into META &amp; MSFT

[+6] u/TreGet234: Generation Z? More like Generation Inflation.

[+6] u/saintmitchy: Remember when we were at like 690?

[+6] u/swampassOG: Dead cat bounces 4 times today

[+6] u/Happy-Champion1661: taco should just tweet "SELL button is illegal starting today", that would immediately pump the market, why he didn't think of that, is he stupid?

[+6] u/LasyKuuga: Boots on my port rn 😔

[+6] u/No-Insurance100: "Kramer, what's going on in there?!"

"Another red day, Jerry."

[+6] u/SocraticGoats: Jokes on you guys, I'm colorblind so today is green for me. Eating steak tonight.

[+6] u/jfwelll: All these brokers going agressive on marketing to get so many new retails was just to get exit liquidity for smart money so they can cash from the covid and last years pump

[+6] u/RareGuarantee3532: F18 fighting with canons in Iranian harbors, this military move was so far made only to protect ground troops.

Commando already on the ground ?

[+6] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: Alright let me teach you guys a thing or two. My wife doesn’t expect much from me, why? I only tell her about my losses. Never ever my wins

[+6] u/Fineous40: The time of the bull is over. The time of the bear has begun.

[+6] u/jfwelll: No name brand instant noodles back on the menu yayy

[+6] u/Ready-Tennis8577: Remember when everyone was saying WAP WAP WAP WAP WAP 

WET ASS PUSSY ON DEEZ USO CALLS

[+6] u/Bumst3r: Good thing I like eating rice and lentils every day

[+6] u/Commercial_Seat_3704: Hello darkness my old friend

[+6] u/SuffiecientSapian: Green by open I’m calling it . 

This is extremely low volume premarket

[+6] u/OGWFORLIFE: Oil with the regard strength. It wants 100 by any means

[+6] u/Manufactured_feces: Holy shit, Trump just announced another present! An even bigger one!

[+6] u/Awuxy: Its seeming like a 3 fent patch kinda day tbh

[+6] u/igycb: damage control tweet incoming

[+6] u/FirstGenerAsian: What in the market manipulation is going on

[+6] u/Commercial_Seat_3704: MSFT is on life support

[+6] u/Character_Pirate_152: Remember guys the key to being rich is to just hold on days like this! LMAO

[+6] u/Gom_KBull: 2028: 🥭 gives Iran 150 days to agree to surrender with conditions.

[+6] u/elpresidentedeljunta: Best we can do is a Good Friday in a couple of weeks.

[+5] u/looool_k_libtard: Make it fucking stop

[+5] u/Dear-Original-1024: Fuel crises in Chile, Philippines, Thailand.  Riot police and water cannons deployed in Chile.

[+5] u/motomeru2526: Y ORENJI MAN FK MY CALL UP????

[+5] u/Mark_Underscore: Circuit breakers are back on the menu boys!

[+5] u/Shurlak: its starting to hurt

[+5] u/daedalus_dance: Guys I think our TACO looks kinda like it was left on the counter for 3 days before being served to us.

[+5] u/justarandumthrowaway: ppl will def be eager to hold this shit over the weeeknd……right??

[+5] u/KahlVados: Add the Bab al-Mandab strait to your list of worries

[+5] u/Sengle473: I guess Iran has all the cards now, just like Gyna. Guess it’s time to play with another opponent.

[+5] u/TrickyDickCheney: Looks like panic day is finally here

[+5] u/AmbassadorGloomy8915: Full port long calls

[+5] u/mxcstar: The beatings will continue until morale improves

[+5] u/T0th3M00NW3G0: War, high gas prices, high cost of goods, high cost living, collapsing stock market. SO MUCH WINNING

[+5] u/AbrocomaNegative825: Shes offered to give me a facial, cook me dinner, give me a full body message and sleep over. Shes also 6'1 and weighs roughly 280 pounds and about 10 years older with an absess where the sun dont shine. So yes my dudes, there is hope, just gotta look a little harder, like in a basement for example.

[+5] u/Weak-Equal-9084: Wth just happened bruh, i just woke up :((

[+5] u/jyohnyb: Every president for the last 100 years has bombed the shit out if the middle east and the economy has survived.  Great time to buy stocks.  🤡

[+5] u/poopy_wizard132: This is a recession, isn't it?

[+5] u/AirportMaterial5917: wasn't expecting to see "pounded" in the headline of WSJ

[+5] u/rnbwshrm: This economy hanging on the empty promises of some AI CEO, a tweet of orange tinted toddler or Michael ponzi Saylor diluting stocks... Let it slide, it will be for the better of humanity

[+5] u/TonyAngelinoOFAH: DCA into all-world funds or try and time the market on a single stock........ Debating

[+5] u/dimifri: The greatest recession indicator has slid across my desk:

New guitar hero game scheduled to release fall 2026. I love rock/metal but it is definitely not a FAD right now so why does Activision want to revive this dead franchise? I think Activision’s financial analysts foresee a near future of americas undergoing economic hardship. This means more people will be staying home and spend money on at home entertainment. 

Think back to peak guitar hero era. Everyone was playing. Your mom, your grandma, your siblings, everyone. When times get rough alcohol and music bring people together. Your grandparents aren’t going to pick up fortnite if a recession hits. Guitar hero, maybe. 

Position : none yet. I have 10k set aside for SPY/IWM puts. $SPY $550 Jan 2027 &amp; $IWM $150 Jan 2027 are what I’m looking at.

[+5] u/Smart_Influence2966: Take it however you want but 🥭 is on sale for 50c at walmart

[+5] u/R3dFiveStandingBye: Siri play Fortunate Son on repeat

[+5] u/Fluffy-Discussion166: For the first time Iran control the straits and selling oil at full price. Taking 2mill tax per ship. 

Why would they surrender.

[+5] u/Ok-Adeptness6444: This is all Palm Beach Pete’s fault

[+5] u/spwath: Should we be concerned vix is nearly 30 premarket? I mean not me I'm holding puts but the market

[+5] u/astromouse2024: Why push to reopen the strait when it was already open just a few weeks ago lol

[+5] u/Cold_Distribution273: Puts are almost too obvious, the question is open puts at open or wait an hour for a fake pump and cheaper premium. I could also just see it slide instantly.

[+5] u/the_mind_goblin1: Bull be like "he tweeted.... I was supposed to win.. he sent out a tweet!!!"

[+5] u/S-Club-Party: Can’t spell “bear” without “celebrates premarket”

[+5] u/jraiv420: 🥭 gave a rotten taco to bols

[+5] u/Fluffy-Discussion166: How many of you gambling stocks with borrowed money? Rip your life

[+5] u/Curious_scientist420: [ Removed by Reddit ]

[+5] u/SuspiciousStable9649: VIX is at 30, aren’t we supposed to buy stuff when that happens?

[+5] u/Snoo-90587: Now wait a damn minute, so stocks go down?

[+5] u/DOGMASCHINE: don’t panic if the lights go out, we can all burn our shares for warmth

[+5] u/kaapooj: QATAR DECLARES FORCE MAJEURE ON LNG EXPORTS UNTIL MAY.

https://x.com/FirstSquawk/status/2037476174029558122

[+5] u/LeupMeisterGenral: Wait so it’s actually all over? We are finished?

[+5] u/Alwaysfavoriteasian: You know. If I went puts. The market would have said psych. And we'd be at 700 today. It's surreal.

[+5] u/OrdinaryMix4013: Holy fuck taco jinxed it yes. 600 here we go

[+5] u/DFW_BjornFree: I bought april puts after the spike a few days ago. 

It's a good weekend for me bois

[+5] u/Historical_Bother274: WHAT IS HAPPENINGG?!?!

[+5] u/Gom_KBull: Oh SHIT he said he'll give then 10 more days or ELSE(tm) LOL

I'm gonna count to 3 and you better stop.

1

2

2 and a half

2 and 3 quarters

2 and 7 eighths

Hahaha

[+5] u/GoProVI: Go ahead, dump it, let’s light this candle! Huh? I mean sure I’ll lose everything… but then… I’ll have nothing to lose

[+5] u/DuaLipa247: Send the MSFT bag holders to the front lines first

[+5] u/AndItsThetaAgain: Cash.

Go cash, dummies

[+5] u/jpc1215: Bull or bear, doesn’t matter. Petrodollar collapse means we’re all living behind the Wendy’s dumpster! ❤️

[+5] u/Concerned_Fanboy: Iran has begun mobilization efforts and is equipping some parts of the civilian population with weapons. Just lettin yall know

[+5] u/Club-Loud: *rocking back and forth*

I'm safe in my ETFs, they can't hurt me in my ETFs.

[+5] u/SalemKinkTrials: SPY 700 and the clit are just myths

[+5] u/Nick_Gilberts_Bowtie: Yeah we had a ton of small v’s yesterday!

[+5] u/mtnfinder: Somebody always does.

[+38] u/Independent-Tree-985: YOUD BETTER OPEN THE STRAIT, OR ILL EXTEND THE DEADLINE TO OPEN THE STRAIT

[+20] u/cbusoh66: 🥭: I thought the market would be down a lot more

Market: 🫡

[+20] u/WSB-mods-are-: Me: *(holding SPY calls)*

My wsb comment: "lmao thank fuck I didnt hold SPY calls"

[+20] u/_IsNull: Lost all my gain for the last 5 years within 24 hours lol.

[+19] u/Majestic-Bass6772: 🥭: loser says what?

Iran: what??

🥭: TODAY I'D LIKE TO DECLARE A VICTORY SO GREAT...TO THE LIKES OF WHICH NOBODY HAS EVER SEEN BEFORE. THIS MARKS THE 4TH CONSECUTIVE VICTORY IN THIS WAR (YES IT IS TOO MUCH WINNING). THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!

[+19] u/Obvious_Coconut_8432: It’s still crazy to me how completely unnecessary this all was

[+17] u/hiphopanonomos: 2024 - AI will increase profits

2025 - We need to invest incredible sums of revenue into AI to be profitable in the future

2026 - If we lay off everyone we might break even?

[+17] u/arbitraryBlue: "I'll give you 48hrs 😤😤😤"

"I'll give you a week 😤😤😤"

"Can you pwease talk to me? 🥺🥺🥺"

- 🥭

[+17] u/CulturalConclusion76: all he had to do was play golf and do nothing

instead he caused all of this

[+17] u/slimeystevebob: Turns out Hitler was a bad idea the second time around, too

[+16] u/Shot-Ground-9898: This is what happens when you have yes men all around a lunatic

[+15] u/orsomeshitidk: I really hate about 1/3rd of our country lmao

[+15] u/Scalpaholic: Idiotic war aside, rallying over the idea that mass job losses to AI was somehow bullish will be seen as pretty Highly Regarded in history books.

[+15] u/wright_on_: they expect one of us in the wreckage brother

[+14] u/Djent_Reznor1: Market stopped responding to Dump. He’s absolutely fucked come midterms.

[+14] u/nascarhero: Some of you really believed 🥭 and it shows

[+14] u/wa_2050: https://preview.redd.it/1jjv1kv74lrg1.png?width=4088&amp;format=png&amp;auto=webp&amp;s=0feeef9fd4ac4bb7353315db1da53f76345d1771

Where I'm headed

[+13] u/Hardbun: Market did not give a shit about Donny's pump

[+13] u/EyeSea7923: I'm just glad the egg prices are pretty cheap. I'm stocking up for the hyperinflation. Selling futures now $9

[+13] u/Red_V_Standing_By: Does anyone else approaching 40 feel like they are getting significantly dumber over time? Like, I used to be smart and motivated. Now I just feel like a moron who can’t do simple tasks.

[+13] u/Few-Frosting-4213: There should be a big red panic button that closes every position on an account to go all cash on every brokerage app and website. Preferably with zany sound effects.

[+13] u/2c-b_day: Crippling chest pain is nothing to be worried about right?

[+13] u/Fieryhotsauce: 'Murica really voted for the guy that types in all caps

Do you guys still use lead in your paint?

[+12] u/whitehypeman: Ps5 pro now $900. Bro.

[+12] u/Just_Learned_This: Bols buying today think they timed the bottom

[+12] u/Maleficent-Couple-76: Mean ass boss said he’s putting his two weeks in on Monday LETS FUCKING GOOOOOO

[+12] u/rcantu314: We are losing the meme war boys 🥲https://www.reddit.com/r/SipsTea/s/yJhFMPgadN

[+12] u/ewzetf: Peace should be the prime goal now to calm the markets. I say we hand over mango as part of any deal. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

[+12] u/HonestScar7176: I’m just glad his tweets no longer have the full power to move the market. Imagine if he didn’t lie this week how low we would actually be

[+12] u/auroraavm: all we can hope for is a -80% crash so we can start over in the boomer age with boomer prices

[+11] u/RFKsBrainwormm: Prepare to be fucked by the long dick of reality

[+11] u/JustFuckingSendIt: Is VIX reporting earnings soon?

[+11] u/WinnerTakesAll2021: So, are we taking out 640 today?

[+11] u/Warm-Profit-775: Touching MSFT will give you a std

[+11] u/FartPolluter: NYT reporting tankers in the Gulf are to zerg rush the hormuz strait. The president has personally simulated the strat on oroginal Starcraft in huge MP with the Gulf sheikhs and all confirm it is still "totally OP"

[+11] u/Independent_Term5790: The death of social media is a good thing

[+11] u/snspro: MINUTE OF SILENCE FOR SHAREHOLDERS AND DIP BUYERS, RIP

[+11] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: can we all agree now that projecting your belief that nothing ever happens is no longer a valid way to assert your vastly superior intelligence?

[+10] u/HAND__EGG: Three FUCKING fourty

To 275

Im literally not ok

[+10] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: I’m posting this response to a comment about this situation being less bad than Russia/ukraine for oil. My brother works in the energy space as a commodity analyst/trader and builds models for these situations regularly. 

Situation is very different. Post covid rebound pushed inventory of oil very low around the globe and suddenly a potential 3M/day shortage was added into the mix. Now we’re starting from a higher inventory level, releasing more through strategic reserves to blunt the impact, but every passing day we’re closer to maximizing storage in the gulf and eventually losing capacity while inventory is going down. This situation could go from bad to worse very quickly and be far worse than what happened in early 2022

[+10] u/jackpearson2788: Stagflation and a war…truly in the golden age

[+10] u/Godzirraaaaaaaa: Got a laugh in the car thinking about this tard’s dow 100k hat

[+10] u/skrotumshredder: "your account has one or more options approaching expir-" shut up about the expiration, SHUT UP ABOUT THE EXPIRATION

[+10] u/BurstingTitan88: Don’t worry guys, our DOGE and Tariff refund checks are coming soon…

[+10] u/slimeystevebob: Unstoppable retard meets unmoving object

[+10] u/ripcord51: mango 8 months from now: 

i expect a deal to be reached any day now, and merry christmas.

[+10] u/CulturalConclusion76: some swans are black, this one is orange.

[+9] u/Me-Regarded: Even if ber kill me I shall rise again in three days

[+9] u/SolidSky: Are you ready for the 'boots on the ground'-announcement and the biggest hit to the stock market since Covid?

[+9] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Bro the Middle East crisis/ strait of Hormuz closure is causing the everything bubble to collapse in real time 

UBS Halts Withdrawals from $469 Million Real Estate Fund Amid Liquidity Crisis -

[+9] u/Jim_tdot: My famous “Buy the dip” strategy is not working anymore!

[+9] u/SmoresPies: i should not have bought anything yesterday

[+9] u/Iunatic: RDDT is on my watchlist just so I can look at it and know someone's day is worse than mine LMAO

[+9] u/2c-b_day: Don't worry guys, I've been monitoring the situation the whole night.

[+9] u/davidbigham: I still remember that big ass boat blocking everyone during the covid time

[+9] u/RFKsBrainwormm: I love the taste of Bol tears in the morning 🌞

[+9] u/IndependentUsual7444: Sell off will intensify very soon

[+9] u/Dbestinvest: This is the time I don’t check my account and just trust my investment decisions

[+9] u/Kind_Initiative_7567: Tweets have lost their power lmao…it seems markets are finally seeing every one’s fak.

[+9] u/KehreAzerith: Maybe the Iran war will pop the AI bubble for us

[+9] u/Majestic-Bass6772: done with SP500, moving my money over to WD-40 instead

[+9] u/Bigamungus: That 9:29 tweet is gonna go insane

[+8] u/slimeystevebob: Wouldn't be surprised if 🥭 led us all to Doomsday. It feels like the natural conclusion of his life accomplishments, even.

[+8] u/ALittleWorseEveryday: AN AMAZING STOCK MARKET, A STRONG STOCK MARKET, ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE, SOME ARE SAYING THE STRONGEST EVER. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION IN THIS MATTER

[+8] u/Stealthless: Pokemon cards outperforming this shit-ass market 🤣🤡

[+8] u/Red_V_Standing_By: gEneRaTiOnAl BuYiNg oPpOrTunItY

Yeah, when SPY goes to 500

[+8] u/Shoddy_Ad897: Spy will see 600 again. 

Zuck won't.

[+8] u/ThrowRA-KB: - “As per Iranian government request” 

A desperate attempt to make people think that Iran actually wants to negotiate and that they are begging 🥭 for a deal. 

- Deadline extended by 10 days until April 6th

This gives 🥭 time to properly allocate ammunition, naval fleet, soldiers and general military equipment for a full scale invasion starting with Kharg island. 

This also gives Iran more time to continue its hold on the strait as well as time to move its enriched uranium further inland and hide it.

It’s blatantly obvious an invasion will begin.

[+8] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: Donnie going to go manic after realizing MMs are using him to short his pumps

[+8] u/emr1028: Wow it's crazy it's almost like there's a war in the middle east and the strait of Hormuz is blocked.

[+8] u/marawki: 640 range is imo still too high for the shit happening now and the damage the past month the 🥭 causes

[+8] u/bklotrgoblet: I’ll be snorting coke off the butts of femboy hookers and what will you be doing?

[+8] u/AdSimple663: [ Removed by Reddit ]

[+8] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: BUT THE DOW IS AT $50,000!! 🥺

[+8] u/Sea-Refrigerator7919: Let’s all report 🥭on twitter until he’s banned and we can stop with the pumps

[+8] u/Diet_Water: Everyone so quick to forget that even before this war we had a poor labor market with fake numbers and inflation

[+8] u/thrawnisahero: Saylor now down over 12% lmao

[+8] u/Hist0racle: Can I tweet 🥭 directly asking for a refund, or do I have to say thank you to JD first?

[+8] u/Lazy-Presence725: Puts are too obvious so calls

[+8] u/hiphopanonomos: Funny how MSFT started to really tank after the bill gates stuff came out, and suddenly analysts were concerned over their AI capex spending lmao

[+8] u/arbitraryBlue: "No!!! New wars!"

What 🥭 actually meant lol

[+8] u/orsomeshitidk: My favorite is people just being so shocked and asking why it’s going down when bears have been saying for weeks this is going to happen lmao

[+8] u/imunfair: Reading more about this "present" Trump claims Iran gave him makes me think he's lying about that too.  Now he's claiming they let 10 ships through for him, yet the majority of the ships were for India and China, and likely had nothing to do with Trump.  

I originally thought it the gift was that Panama ship they allowed through, but now that he's embellishing his story so much I'm doubting there's any truth to it at all.  Guy just doesn't know when to shut up and leave some ambiguity to make what he says plausible.

[+8] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Won
---

/u/Yousoldmetohigh made a bet that SPY would go to 642.0 within **1 day** when it was 649.37 and it did, congrats gigabrain.

Their record is now 1 wins and 1 losses

[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)

[+8] u/unikuenobody: The amount regards who will attempt to "buy the dip" today will be phenomenal. But the dip will keep on dipping. This. Is. Bearland!

[+8] u/ALittleWorseEveryday: You can go broke 100 times but you only have to get rich once

[+8] u/jmc774: I hereby declare 🥭 king of bers. Congrats

[+8] u/RFKsBrainwormm: Yes it’s 1-877-CARS 4 KIDS

[+7] u/AideApprehensive7441: Strait needs to be opened. Arguably only way is boots on the ground. Problem is it will take a very long time to secure /may be a hopeless mission as Iran can launch drones from anywhere within Iran and hit anywhere in Persian gulf and strait. You can’t easily defend that many tankers against tiny cheap drones. Question is will markets rally on ground invasion/escalation with the hope that it opens the strait or will they realize strait is going to be a major fucking quagmire and create a global economic crisis if not figured out quickly

[+7] u/ContributorZero: 🥭 tried to pump it and we still dumped. The dam finally broke. Bloodbath today.

[+7] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: wakes up...check phone...🍩🤛

[+7] u/Jacobpapi: Im smelling a bull tweet on sunday night or monday morning, he doesnt like the market this red, im holding puts for today and calls for monday, im not a professional just vibing

[+7] u/Competitive_Ride: Bombs and all was whatever but I draw the line at a market crash. This is unacceptable

[+7] u/jeffynihao: I really thought "buy the dip" on a war where two maniacs are never going to actually negotiate

[+7] u/sck178: 30yr is going to go back over 5 LMAO 🤌

[+7] u/JohanLiebert92: the huge wick on that shrek candle 🥭 tried to pump overnight is a sign ppl are falling for his bs less and less

a week or two ago that would've been full green dildo

[+7] u/ALittleWorseEveryday: I can’t stand cucks who edit their Reddit comments and put “edit” at the bottom.

Edit: typo

[+7] u/hfbvm2: Buying puts is so useless over the past 2 years. It takes forever to start dropping, the IV is really high when it starts to drop and finally out takes so long to ladder down you lose so much money to theta. 

If you buy calls, its instant reward with low IV. Market shoots up 2-3% in like 2 minutes

[+7] u/jwilliams35: NFLX green because they said fuk affordability, time to raise prices. The true capitalist move to kick us when we are down.

[+7] u/longGERN: New plague called the Orange Taco to be released from Venezuela to combat oil prices

[+7] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: Damn those MSFT servers and GOOG search engine running on diesel

[+7] u/PikerTraders: He’s going to tweet jk lolz it was a joke

[+7] u/mangled_degenerate: Kangaroo market down a flight of stairs.

[+7] u/elysiansaurus: Fun reminder that we dropped to 480 last April

[+7] u/puts_every_day: Spy 600 before 700 is brutal. Can't imagine being a bol.

[+7] u/Chemical-Coconut-203: I don't know why I always listen to WSB. I was actually worried about my puts.

Now I'm going to buy 1dte calls for Monday.

[+7] u/Several_Bread_9144: I am please to announce that dip buyers will become bagholders. Thank you for your attention to this matter

[+7] u/Avocadonot: If market shits today, 🥭 will 🌮 for real over the weekend

[+7] u/HAND__EGG: Google went from 340 to 275 in a literal 2 month span

WHAT…THE…. FUCK

[+7] u/heresmykey: RIP gulf states AI investments

[+7] u/pootenanner: We’re at like 7% down lol

[+6] u/JohanLiebert92: 🥭 "US will be their worst nightmare, in the meantime we'll just keep blowing them away unimpeded"

well, good to know talks are going well

[+6] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Wait til 10 to buy puts when the fake pump finishes

[+6] u/Scalpaholic: Fake Tweet and oil futures dump prob hitting around 9:25am ET?

[+6] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Market dumb enough that we got WSB members looking up what booglheads are

[+6] u/MokelMoo: Please sir I am tired of winning

[+6] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: do not  not become addicted to the truth posts. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence

[+6] u/iStayG00bin: Fidelity found an account without a trusted contact!

[+6] u/moorhound: &gt;AP News: Israel struck an area in southern Lebanon with what appears to be white phosphorus 

Oh yeah baby, were podracing today

Only hope is a Google V dragging the market to glory

[+6] u/Any_Life_6178: 640 is dangerously close. Good thing we have top guys in Washington…

[+6] u/justanaveragejoe520: Barons calls must not be hitting right now

[+6] u/Diet_Water: Being a gay bear should be societally accepted

[+6] u/Remarkable-Garage126: Just another 1-1.5% down today I need new windows for my house

[+6] u/arbitraryBlue: 🥭 just keeps fumbling the bag, holy shit lmao

[+6] u/hiphopanonomos: Even if we had a true negotiator these people cannot be reasoned with.  Look at their laws regarding their daughters, these people do not care.  There is no deal to be made and we are way too broke as a country to survive another long term middle east endeavor

[+6] u/Venom17645: soft brain retail otw to buy the dip

[+6] u/corndog_messiah: The IQ needed to not realize how utterly fawked we are is getting lower and lower

[+6] u/Awkward_Ad_5102: After all this, who wants to bet mid-terms will still be red dominated?

[+6] u/Stealthless: Can't pay 2025 capital gains taxes if I'm bagholding stocks, tell the IRS they'll have to wait 'til I break even ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯

[+6] u/McKoijion: Why does Iran keep talking about Baal? I thought we defeated him back in Diablo 2?

[+6] u/Hungry-Brain-3287: Down 7% from the high in January... With the way this is moving we'll be down 10% by next week.

[+6] u/RFKsBrainwormm: The Tweets will not save you, accept your fate

[+6] u/yeahyoubored: we’re goin down down in an earlier round

[+6] u/tika_dengu: it’s over, sell everything

&gt;Polish PM anticipates Middle East ‘escalation in coming days

[+6] u/Aware-Teacher5389: Polish PM anticipates Middle East ‘escalation in coming days’

Polish Prime Minister Donald Tusk says there may be “a new escalation” in the Middle East in the coming days, citing information from unnamed allies.

[+6] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Won
---

/u/unikuenobody made a bet that SPY would go to 642.06 within **2 days** when it was 655.83 and it did, congrats you fuckin nerd.

Their record is now 107 wins and 120 losses
You're a part of the [WSB Discord server](http://discord.gg/wsbverse), therefore you earned 10,000 coins for your win!

[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)

[+6] u/Top-Meaning2626: I'm out here fighting for my fucking life right now

[+6] u/derprondo: You voted for this?

https://external-preview.redd.it/edNLlqXE4ODWhR07I_HAMhqIvDwwHSmuOte9DSPKt1I.jpg?width=500&amp;auto=webp&amp;s=b5628b8eb8058a2414e93f96296b3405980a76d1

[+6] u/PlaysWthSquirrels: I'm starting to think this big brain business man isn't great for the economy after all.

[+6] u/magneticpasta9: The only thing at this point that can bring peace to the world is the release of GTA VI

[+6] u/Awkward_Ad_5102: Individual government officials are more likely to represent the interests of their age group than the wider population.

That’s why…

🌈we need more diversity and age restrictions in government🌈

[+6] u/TheKiMoChi2020: YTD -35% and i started last Nov. Fml

[+6] u/An_Unusual_Mind: 9:15am announcement: 1 TrumpDollar = 1000 USD.

[+6] u/According_To_Me_: The kids today have no assertiveness and are soft. They can watch TikTok full volume in public, but god forbid they ask a question or speak up in public about something they need.

[+6] u/OkAlternative7705: Imagine being a bull when people like me are 200 job applications in without a single offer. Spy deserves 200 cause if no one has a job whose consuming and with what money?

[+6] u/jgooody: Did everyone forget 2022? There's more room to fall here..

[+6] u/JudgeInfamous4111: mad max but nautical.  Kinda like Water World

[+6] u/Excellent_Row8297: No matter what happens today, bers and bols, just remember: you never go full regard

[+5] u/FlowerGardensDM: what a cuck thing to say

[+5] u/Rich-Badger-7601: I appear to have bought back into MSFT prematurely

[+5] u/cow_grass: Every thing getting more depressing

[+5] u/Specialist_Spite5930: Is this MF going to tweet something or he abandoned us?

[+5] u/deadflagblue: Mongo won't save you. You are dead

[+5] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: MSFT and META being more down from ATH than TSLA deserves a report

[+5] u/x2eliah: The only way to truly resolve the Hormuz strait issue is not "boots on the ground". It is impossible to prevent all drone attacks on oil tankers.

What has to happen is oil tankers have to be armed and armoured, so that they can eliminate incoming threats and withstand attacks that get through.

In the golden age of sail, all cargo ships had cannons to deter pirates.

[+5] u/hiphopanonomos: I went from all cash to putting a smallish amount back into etfs yesterday before close.  I am sure it will keep going down a while but I'd rather DCA back in than try to perfectly time

[+5] u/MRROSADOH: I’d be up a disgusting amount of money if I didn’t sell my MSFT puts early yesterday

[+5] u/Me-Regarded: Sweet, I got a $23 divided last night! What should I buy??

[+5] u/John-AtlasGames: OK, so as I understand it the spot prices on Brent crude are way higher than the futures. You can see this in the difference between the /BZ May and June contracts this morning. So my theory is that /BZK26 is going to rocket more this morning because all the people who shorted it because they were sure of a TACO -- or all the governments that tried to manipulate the futures prices -- have to cover their positions before delivery. So there needs to be a rapid arbitrage between spot and contract that comes due soon. Or am I misunderstanding?

[+5] u/Damerman: 10 y gonna blaze through 4.5

[+5] u/Kickboy21: When was the last time MSFT had a green day?

[+5] u/BenisSpaghetti: 🚨 My anus is torn asunder. 🚨

[+5] u/Christiano97: Whether you’re a bear or not Msft getting decimated like this is insane 🤣🤣🤣

[+5] u/Iunatic: So we all use RDDT but none of us own it right, LMAO

[+5] u/slimeystevebob: Middle East wars are good and easy to win

[+5] u/2c-b_day: I should actually be working but I think i'm just going to play age of empires on easy instead. At least I might actually win something today

[+5] u/financiallythriving: One sip of coffee and I’m off to the shitter

[+5] u/ewzetf: Bibi locked his eyes with him, approached and made a primeval grunt. He extended his right hand with fingers outstretched, and squeezed as he reached his target. Mango screamed in aroused agony as Bibi's fingers clenched around his balls. Bibi took his left hand, grasped his head, and whispered into his ear, "Quiet piggy," as warm light sweet crude gushed into mango's throat.

[+5] u/nomorelosses1: Most broadcasted market dump in history. If you aren’t holding shorts or cash what are you actually doing

[+5] u/DingleJingle_: Reddit mods are trash.

[+5] u/PutVivid6052: The true path to financial freedom is getting hooked on fentanyl. Once you’re hooked you no longer care for money, just getting that hit. 

Not financial advice

[+5] u/No_Image_1122: Wtf is going with msft . Mg avg is 400 take loss or hold ?

[+5] u/alien-observer-37491: JD Vance asking Netanyahu if he said thank you today.

[+5] u/killerbeeswaxkill: How is this possible pos tweet did nothing

[+5] u/Shot-Ground-9898: I think I’m going bankrupt at this point 😂

[+5] u/GamblingMikkee: Wtf weren’t we up big at 2AM

[+5] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: we have found the bottom!! which will hold ..... \*checks notes\* ... for the next 7 mintues

[+5] u/whee_exceeding_whoo: SPY basically at 10% down territory now.

[+5] u/Microwave-Dave: Continuing the shambles that 99.99% could have been easily avoided

[+5] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: All these airport line photos are so dumb like yea the airport is terrible I know. That’s why I travel by rock, like the pioneers did

[+5] u/HappyDepartment5899: Are you winning son? 

I'm tired of winning. Sir please stop.

[+5] u/livingiice: Let me guess... goes up at the open then down again?

[+5] u/aftherith: WE GOT TO KEEP OUR COMPOSURE

[+5] u/LostandConfused2024: It appears that I fucked by up by buying the Microsoft dip

[+5] u/rixxxand: Iran's new gift: msft shares for 🥭

[+5] u/Fieryhotsauce: iT's Duh Art of dur deal

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

[+5] u/spsteve: Have any of you regards looked at long-date oil futes... WTI is &gt;70 until October 2028!  Rate cuts are now just a dream.

[+5] u/claytondpark: Dropped 10k on calls y'day fml

[+5] u/GTFOScience: The Strait of Hormuz in 2026 is what bat soup was to 2020.

[+5] u/EnginrA: When was the last green day for MSFT?  I literally can’t remember

[+5] u/Kind_Initiative_7567: VIX being elevated for weeks should tell the whole story - this shits primed to move big either way soon, imo

[+5] u/ArtisticFrame5790: I recently taught my son about unintended consequences.  Gave some interesting real life situations.  

I’m thinking the one with Iran is we caused them to close the strait and made them realize how powerful they can be as far as affecting the world.  Perhaps something the sort of knew but didn’t fully know or want to try.  And feel they are willing to go down with the sinking ship.

[+5] u/sailorsmile: He legitimately thought going to war would lead to a post 9/11 environment but there was no 9/11 event

[+5] u/virtual_billionaire: Seems to take so long to build and it disappears so quickly

[+5] u/Deadsea3132: META 500 IS NOT A MEME

[+5] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: the worst part about this is that i have ptsd from last year of TACO shit that i am afraid to hold puts for too long

[+5] u/CMDR_Shepard96: Maybe that META 1DTE 565C wasn't the best idea

[+5] u/newtoeso: 🥭 will manage to shove SPY lower than Liberation Day levels.

[+5] u/AcademicStandard3701: Until Donnie tweet something

[+5] u/TyroneSwoopes: Look at the SPY 1 month chart.  He is going to try and pump this shit after hours today, place your bets accordingly

[+5] u/tika_dengu: V after obliterating calls, open by green 🌱

[+5] u/mayorolivia: No one is holding going into the weekend

[+5] u/wilhelm96: After rejecting any minuscule resemblance of a pump we could see some actual capitulation today

[+5] u/TinyDelegation: For the folks here who were around in 2012-2015. What were the early years of the sub like? I assume more serious stuff with in depth DD as opposed to now of nothing but memes,banter,escorts, and drugs?

[+5] u/chuckrabbit: Since we’re below 50K for sure, can we start talking about Epstein again?

[+5] u/Puzzleheaded-War8468: That's interesting because April 31st isn't real.

[+5] u/patelchief90: another day another RED day for MU

[+5] u/IndependentUsual7444: No way you regards are buying spy puts, way too expensive

[+5] u/Apprehensive_Rush497: Should i hold my puts over the weekend?

[+5] u/moosewithamuffin: BF6 Blackwell Fields was ahead of its time.

[+5] u/Just_Learned_This: If you're too broke for puts, you should have bought some a month ago.

[+5] u/BigStepMaestro: What a time to be alive boys

[+5] u/Shot-Ground-9898: This is structural damage on a scale worse than tariffs with economy in shambles. Mango fked this one up big time

[+40] u/ComfortablePiglet842: https://preview.redd.it/ns7g68oc6lrg1.jpeg?width=1080&amp;format=pjpg&amp;auto=webp&amp;s=21429f9bc77f52461d2a301d9e0bce9b3ce49497

[+25] u/CEO-of-SOXL: 🚨New twist. 🥭 releasing Epstein files as a distraction from Iran war. 🚨

[+18] u/nolanjp: Now I understand why most people do not beat the sp500.. i was up 53% now down 11% I give up

[+18] u/br0botic: And we wondered how someone could bankrupt a casino 4 times

[+17] u/Solid-Season9984: https://preview.redd.it/pwy8ke4rclrg1.png?width=4096&amp;format=png&amp;auto=webp&amp;s=4a0ba318b420b348d4926686168412ee921a361e

[+16] u/AirwickS: On challenging days like this, remember: The White House ballroom is coming together nicely.

[+15] u/StraitOfHummus: The new supreme leader of Iran is saying that negotiations are a no go. I don't understand why, after they killed his father, wife, and one of his children why that might be the case.

[+15] u/Solid-Season9984: #stocks im buying rn, chicken stock, beef stock, canned food stock, fml

[+15] u/LumpyShock9656: https://preview.redd.it/otzldopedlrg1.jpeg?width=1080&amp;format=pjpg&amp;auto=webp&amp;s=637e9739830192e568488d67e1a7ace5ec66987a

[+14] u/Aldribuds: No Kings rally tomorrow, be there or be square

[+13] u/OkLength37: “Ya I was a successful day trader, but I didn’t price in a dementia world war and then I ended up here, anyway would you like to order?”

[+13] u/yushey__: I’m breaking rule number 1 today. Crying in the Casino

[+13] u/ArisZG: Why is the s&amp;p drilling? Is it because Netflix increased prices on their plans?

[+13] u/gkdjsl: Job market: fucked  
Housing: lmao  
Cost of living: ramen is now a delicacy  
Stock market: sky diving simulation

and the party has just begun

[+13] u/hermeskino715: You guys should have seen the amount of bols celebrating futes last night. Felt like they were at 700 lmao

[+13] u/svpa3991: If they let you do options 15min after close on indexes, let me do 15min before open as well 😩

[+13] u/siouxu: 🥭 has a pair of twos while Iran has a straight of Hormuz

[+13] u/spudbro00: Wall Street Journal - "United States offered Iran 1 billion in Microsoft shares to open the strait for 2 weeks. Iran rejected offer citing Microsoft bankruptcy soon."

[+13] u/lobsterspider: Apple won the AI race by not burning a trillion dollars on bullshit

[+13] u/Successful-End7689: "U.S. President Donald J. Trump has appointed Vice President JD Vance as the principal U.S. decision-maker to lead efforts to end the ongoing conflict in the Middle East." 

aka shifting the fallout over to J.D… thank you Mr. Vice President!

[+13] u/Dry-Operation6112: Nobody:

Literally fucking nobody:

Not a single soul on earth:

Donald Trump: Does anyone miss the covid crash?

[+12] u/2020isgreat: You get a force majeure and you get a force majeure

[+12] u/TrollerCoasterWoo: Is the market finally ready to accept that the U.S. is at war and the private credit market is collapsing?

[+12] u/Roflcopter71: Pam Bondi really did call the top lmao

[+12] u/StraitOfHummus: Every day the Strait stays closed, the GDP of the world decreases. Even if it opens tomorrow, we are gonna have a lot of bad quarters ahead of us.

[+12] u/Ok_Cry7572: They coming for ur 401ks!!!!!!!

[+11] u/boraboca: Of course 🥭 has a speech schedule for 5:30 today

[+11] u/JustNumbersOnAScreen: Guys we just needed a businessman in office 🤡

[+11] u/yushey__: Lost 10k cya guys next year

[+11] u/PossibleLack835: WENT ALL IN ON CALLS 3 MONTHS OUT

[+11] u/Solid-Season9984: #✅️ MARKED SAFE FROM DOW 50,000

[+11] u/MeeseShoop: That pump was taken out back and shot lmao

[+11] u/No_Fig_7835: I wish Bury was in here spamming clown emojis at us.

[+11] u/br0botic: Pam Bondi literally called the top

[+11] u/GoomyIsGodTier: Is this the "drill baby drill" that 🥭 is always talking about?

[+10] u/gentlesandwich: If Donald doesn't manipulate markets today, I'm not voting for his 3rd term

[+10] u/Atti_: at least nvda's logo is green

[+10] u/swenau01: 🥭 trying to figure out why his war pause tweet didn't pump like his old tariff pause tweets used to

[+10] u/2keyed: Shoulda went all cash RIP 🪦

[+10] u/Aggressive-Ad-2707: MAG7 is having their own liberation day moment

[+10] u/StraitOfHummus: The best part of this crisis is JPOW is gonna be out halfway during it and won't be able to get us to a soft landing like the previous few times.

[+10] u/Tay_Tay86: 🥭 uses taco 🌮 

🥭 Hurt itself in the confusion

[+10] u/lonewolf210: What do you mean, actions have consequences? That's for poor people

[+10] u/iFiredIce: Drill team 6 takin a smoke break, will be back soon

[+10] u/RemarkableVictory990: I just know Trump is cooking up the most devious TACO that will change absolutely nothing

[+9] u/dabblesest: Gonna set a buy order for when MSFT hits $200.

Should fill in a week or two.

[+9] u/Glam34: ive put on a suit.  ive said thank you.  how else can i stop the winning?

[+9] u/YourCautionaryTale: That one dude who was in here earlier sweating his banbet of USO at 120 made it. 

v happy for him

[+9] u/jlw993: All it took was a war to get everyone to stop talking about the pdf files

[+9] u/SomePolack: Some bull actually said today would be up 10% on SPY last night 

LMAO

[+9] u/browsk: Never forget what Israel has done to this country

[+9] u/Valkorion335786: 🥭 barely lasted a year before the U.S. lost international credibility lol

[+9] u/Bong-Hits-For-Jesus: its really crazy how it only took one person to topple the global stronghold the united states once had

[+9] u/Bignutly: Can’t wait to buy calls again in about 3 years

[+9] u/Hot-Performancy: You can always count on MSFT to go down, whether Spy is up 2% or down -2%, MSFT WILL ALWAYS SHIT THE BED

[+9] u/aniote: Imagine investing in the stock market hoping to make money

[+9] u/YourCautionaryTale: Even the markets are now admitting that he's the Boy that cried bull.

[+9] u/FinishWarm1746: President Trump has extended a pause on striking Iranian energy infrastructure until April 6, 2026, to allow for potential negotiations.
The Guardian

“Potential “

[+9] u/theduke9: Why would Biden do this

[+9] u/Successful-End7689: IM NOT SELLING A SINGLE FUCKEN SHARE (I should've sold)

[+9] u/Muted-South4737: There was an episode of Ducktales (original series) where an isolated economy adopted bottlecaps or something like that for their currency. For some reason, they received a huge infusion of bottlecaps, causing all prices to increase exponentially. It was a perfect illustration of inflation and its impact on everyday citizens.

I feel like a lot of people in charge need to watch that episode.

[+9] u/Benjamin191: See yall in another life

[+9] u/Comprehensive-Eye547: Circuit break today baby

[+9] u/aniote: that's it im selling the kids

[+9] u/SomePolack: SPY going below $600 is inevitable 

Biggest economic crisis of our lives loading unless TACO actually gives Iran reparations

[+9] u/ecoburner87: it's over, no one trusts him anymore, not even the algos

[+8] u/boraboca: Kharg island will be invaded at 4:01 EST

[+8] u/saccotac: Circuit Breaker Levels: Friday 03/27/2026

Level 1: 6023.7

Level 2: 5635.12

Level 3: 5181.72

[+8] u/AwarenessOk5979: Today might be the last Friday for a while where American boys aren't getting shelled and hit with drones in Iran for the sake of Israel.

[+8] u/Jeremy1013: COULD BE 600 SPY EOD

[+8] u/johns2289: CNBC got a lotta balls advertising luxury cruises to me right now

[+8] u/twostroke1: Donald’s inner circle group chat rn “finna let the market drill all day, everyone load up on cheap calls, then imma announce Iran deal incoming at 4:15pm today lmaooooo”

[+8] u/spumpadiznik: To the moon!^(Moon is ⬇️ that way)

[+8] u/nthnreallymatters: imagine what the world would have been like if trump didnt do tariffs, wars etc

[+8] u/dopeadult: broke up a cat fight at 4:45am 

one of the cats is now sleeping on my couch

fuck war

[+8] u/SolidAndEdgy: eating off paper plates kind of market

[+8] u/cyril1991: We are in 2026, and Russia invaded Ukraine for good in 2022. That’s just to give you a sense of how long an asymmetric conflict with drones can last….

[+8] u/vermilli21: This market has been a fucking clown 🤡 show and I love it. SPY 620 in June

[+8] u/tldamico: My gut is telling me today may be a red day.

[+8] u/brock2063: &gt;The United States can only determine with certainty that it has destroyed about a third of Iran's vast missile arsenal -Reuters 

Another 🥭 lie. He's been saying for weeks that Iran's missile arsenal has been obliterated. Add it to the stack.

[+8] u/browsk: Is this low enough for you mr president

[+8] u/CUbuffGuy: Best market, maybe ever

[+8] u/coffeetrdr: If I have the average age of this forum right, the median S&amp;P PE ratio in your entire lifetime is 16.2 

The current PE ratio is 27.4. And some of you think stocks are attractive here because you have only witnessed bull markets in your adult lifetime. It's gonna be a long couple of years coming up for some of you.

[+8] u/Moped_Thief: Completely avoidable war by the way.

[+8] u/StraitOfHummus: There is very little Mango can say on social media that will be taken positively. The entire market is calling bullshit and a "we won the war" or "we are negotiating with Iran" tweet will only move us lower.

[+8] u/sergechewbacca: I would like to speak to the Manager of this stock market

[+8] u/lonewolf210: I can't wait for Trump to tweet that the US has a deal with Iran and the markets to rally 5 points, meanwhile the Iranians keep telling everyone they have no idea what deal he's talking about, and the war keeps on going

[+8] u/tombrady011235: Spy calls were a bad idea

[+8] u/Throw_Away_TrdJrnl: LMAO at the guy earlier that said he went all in on NVIDIA during pre because "Jesus himself will stop it from going to 170" 

God speed soldier

[+8] u/CoolConfusion3606: The banks are running out of money.  
Go to your bank and liquidate your accounts now before it's all gone.

[+8] u/Candid_Analyst_9040: Where the fuck is the hotline?

[+8] u/browsk: Israel is killing out markets

[+8] u/kal14144: Stocks on sale (this is cope)

[+8] u/modder9: Silly Bols. Stocks only go down

[+8] u/DarkR124: Looks like the market is actually using more than a few brain cells and saw through his BS tweet for once.

[+8] u/Amplees: I’m actually negative for 1 year returns. Damn

[+8] u/Get_dat_money: Six months ago. Someone somewhere said, "just buy SPY and chill."

Yikes

[+8] u/motorcycle-emptiness: Stupid Bondi was the one after all who called the top

[+7] u/54108216: Favourite lube brand? Needs to deliver in about 30mins

[+7] u/2Hosslovescash: This week has taken a month.

[+7] u/Templar_Swamp_Stake: This isn’t like the tariffs where he could just tweet “I’m pausing it for a month”. These morons kicked up a hornets nest in the Middle East with no clear objectives or off-ramp. He can’t just TACO out of this.

[+7] u/2020isgreat: Bulls are retarded lmao

[+7] u/patricktu1258: I am about to throw up

[+7] u/Blue_Moon_City: "My friend" brought HOOD for $105 because it was discounted. Lol. What a sucker

[+7] u/rampagepete: The time of the ber is now

[+7] u/dylanx5150: Mods, please pin the hotline.

[+7] u/takenorinvalid: Am I retarded or is this free money?

Robinhood's prediction market lets you bet 2 cents for a $1 payout that the temperature in DC won't go above 72 degrees today.

The forecast high today is 63 degrees.

What am I missing here.

[+7] u/ValueOfADollar: this isn't even remotely funny anymore I'm just straight broke

[+7] u/AlasKansastan: Thank you king rapist. Now instead of raping just kids you’re raping everyone

That insult of a human being must be removed

[+7] u/Retaining-Wall: Market: does a thing

Wsb: the [bottom/top] is in and [bols/Bers] are [fucked/back baby].

^(theta chilling in the corner: 🫩)

[+7] u/orangeyougladiator: Bols still talking about how Iran is a nothing burger

[+7] u/dragonvex_: I swore y’all said war was bullish

[+7] u/ThinkingOfTheOldDays: Unpopular opinion, but we were going down 10% sometime this year regardless of this little war hiccup

Liquidity / plumbing issues,
 Mid term year issues, 
AI cool off, 
Private credit, 

Etc etc 

We're also still tracking really well with the post 95 dot com chart

https://x.com/i/status/2028889973773005206

[+7] u/inconsistentsavant: The Russians are in DC btw.

[+7] u/twostroke1: Diesel has damn near doubled in price near me over the last month. 

Prob nothing. Shouldn’t have a big effect on the economy heading into planting season.

[+7] u/AwarenessOk5979: holy shit is today the day

[+7] u/MojoDohDoh: WHY WOULD OBAMA DO THIS TO THE ECONOMY

[+7] u/Ok-Flatworm-3397: There is a level of disrespect that mango is showing me

[+7] u/CoverThat7433: We lost 640, repeat, we lost 640. All units retreat to 600

[+7] u/StraitOfHummus: There is no tweet that can save the market now. Iran is unwilling to negotiate. More lies about how negotiations are going well won't work. Mango can't say the war is won and save the markets. 

SPY 630 by EOD.

[+7] u/drbigtoe: this was completely optional btw

[+7] u/AgeMiddle854: There's oil reserves at the bottom of SPY apparently

[+7] u/OkRecommendation1040: Msft is the biggest fucking turd ever holy shit

[+7] u/CryBoi1738: make sure to keep some dry powder for when your dry powder gets obliterated.

[+7] u/ComfortableWolf779: Are you guys tired of winning 🤡

[+7] u/Solid-Season9984: #TOO LATE FOR PUTS, TOO EARLY FOR CALLS

[+7] u/baadllama_ghost: "the DOW is over 50 thousand"

was literally the top lol

[+7] u/Metacog_Drivel: Hello darkness my old friend.

[+7] u/politicalinvestor: Has Israel said thank you

[+7] u/shortitforever: Oh I’m gonna do it

🔔🔔🔔THE SPY IS FALLING🔔🔔🔔

[+7] u/Boheed: It's a controlled selloff. They want to avoid flipping the circuit breakers so they don't scare the hos.

[+7] u/Extension-Horse-5331: The whole economy was a big bet on a technology that isnt profitable yet plus secret bank loans to private credit companies that dont report key financial info and mango was like fuck it, i want to see what 10% inflation looks like.

[+7] u/DiverOk9454: I declare bankruptcy!

[+7] u/OkRecommendation1040: Fucking lost everything

[+7] u/MeeseShoop: Just give Iran the strait and pack it up, too much red.

[+7] u/ArsonDub: Boomers deserve this

[+7] u/TJMBeav: Sold the last of my $SPY 700 6/19 puts for $6075 per contract.

Now what?

[+7] u/ComprehensiveList936: We are suck fuck3d! Parents guna lose their 401k and going to check that I have already lost it for them. Kill me now

[+7] u/LarsTarkas: Everyone is getting a micro cock v but MSFT just continues to die

[+7] u/King_Tyler: Why can’t the greatest peacemaker of our time settle this? Wasn’t he averaging one peace per week

[+7] u/AwarenessOk5979: You'll have to pry these 0dte puts out of my cold dead hands today

[+7] u/HDauthentic: If you voted for this I hope your entire port is short dated calls

[+7] u/ToroLoco_TL: And everyone here knows it, it's not like they are throwing their whole life savings into 0dte

[+7] u/-TrueFacts-: if i become a freemason will they tell me what SPY's gunna do the next day?

[+7] u/cravingcarrot: So much winning, thank you Mr President

[+7] u/Creative-Package6213: My bear cock is so fucking hard right now...

[+6] u/AfraidAnalyst: “645 is the floor now” lulz

[+6] u/knoqd_: &gt; 🚨 TWO CHINESE CONTAINER SHIPS TURNED BACKED AFTER TRYING TO EXIT GULF VIA STRAIT OF HORMUZ ON FRIDAY, SHIP-TRACKING DATA SHOWS

[+6] u/TrumpChildOnahole: I haven't seen a circuit breaker in a long ass time but I feel there's potential soon

[+6] u/EdgeLordMcGravy: Red by close I'm calling it.

[+6] u/0neshoein: “Nobody’s ever seen anything like it before, they say ‘sir, we’ve never seen anything like this before’, we’re breaking records, can you believe it? Nobody can believe it, they all said we couldn’t do it, now we’re doing it, it’s unbelievable.”

[+6] u/jreddit712: I can't believe averaging down my 640p during that crime candle yesterday might actually workout lmao

[+6] u/Walking72: As of March 2026, Donald Trump's net worth is estimated by Forbes at approximately $6.5 billion to $7.3 billion, a significant increase from an estimated $3.9 billion to $4.3 billion in 2024.

[+6] u/Worth-Walk6265: I’m holding. 

Holding cash, that is.

[+6] u/Paincoast89: All bulls have been ground up and turned into burgers

[+6] u/A_small_Chicken: What would SPY be at if we had President Kamala?

[+6] u/Visible_Frosting9535: If you are only crying in the casino today, you are doing well and should be proud. Throwing up, self-immolations and suicide will be the new norm.

[+6] u/Jeremy1013: HEY IS THE STOCKS GONNA KEEP CRASHING???

[+6] u/basicbish55: puts at open feels too obvious, surely it isn't that easy

[+6] u/colinr813: Don’t call me surely, and yes it is that easy

[+6] u/ToughVegetable2483: I’m feeling so fuckin gay rn

[+6] u/shortitforever: For dinner tonight I’m making Mountain Oyster from the bulls

[+6] u/SomePolack: Projected inflation for the year already over 4% 

Even in SGOV you’ll still lose money this year FUCK

[+6] u/questionr: Since inflation isn't coming down, Trump's only path to getting the Fed to cut rates is seemingly to ultra-fuck the economy. And it looks like he's succeeding.

[+6] u/CulturalOstrich7: So glad I bought a car a couple months ago instead of keeping that money in a depreciating asset like SPY

[+6] u/HeavyArmsJin: I am making bank on puts right now but I am beginning to worry if the stock market will even exist by the end of the year

[+6] u/cashflow_: Everyone just gonna have to walk around I guess 

https://preview.redd.it/aoj9zpsa6lrg1.jpeg?width=3024&amp;format=pjpg&amp;auto=webp&amp;s=20be9bec9d4ce2f5242702356a0e37c76d375537

[+6] u/neo-futurism: MF will try to taco today too

President Trump Speaks to Farmers at the White House

Watch LIVE at 12:30 PM EDT March 27, 2026 on C-SPAN.org

[+6] u/RougarouGumbo: Oh man the people that stayed over leveraged during a war are mad mad

[+6] u/No_Cod972: I was feeling ok about today until I looked at my portfolio.

Now I feel rage at Mango. How many are there just like me?

[+6] u/wrongrobertpatrick: 🥭 April 2020, April 2025, April 2026

[+6] u/Mahrgell2: Given that this is the greatest victory in military history, can you imagine how it would look like if mango was losing?

[+6] u/ten7four: Just another -5% from SPY and we will be back at last February's prices

[+6] u/Slightlybadpicks: Man fuck this shit everyday losing a months salary 😭😭

[+6] u/spoodermanishere_555: Trump literally said he expected the market to drop harder lol can’t make this up

[+6] u/Lower-Condition-4104: Remember: If this is the real dead, it won't stop until people capitulate. As long as there are "buy the dip" folks, people will use that to liquidate.

[+6] u/iFiredIce: Oh shit are the safe havens actually safe haven-ing?

[+6] u/EatingRawOnion: Breaking: ICE to deport oil through the strait of Hormuz

[+6] u/SomePolack: Up 100% on my puts, the urge to sell is strong

[+6] u/SomePolack: At this point I’m holding $100k cash just to make sure I don’t starve

[+6] u/anto_c_86: I think it’s time to worry for real

[+6] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: This is the biggest fuck up in modern US history and it seems there is no way out.

[+6] u/Blackadder2006: CASH gang reporting to duty 🫡

[+6] u/kal14144: They’re eating the 401Ks, they’re eating the 403Bs!

[+6] u/Boheed: Putin is "asking" oligarchs to fund the war in Ukraine with their private money as Russia's cash reserves dry up

[+6] u/kodaksdad2020: Glad before I went into my coma 6 months ago I put all my money in the safe haven that is Microsoft, can’t wait to check my ga…

[+6] u/browsk: This bear market was promised to us 3000 years ago

[+6] u/FrostingOk2692: 69% of chickpeas goes through the strait of hummus

[+6] u/BunchaPepperFcks: Oh-ho, it didn't used to be this way, Smithers. No, it didn't used to be this way at all…

[+6] u/Seymoorebutts: Why would Harris do this to us?

[+6] u/Paul_Robert_: You just know that some degen is going hog wild on calls here

[+6] u/Kilucrulustucru: About to sell my phone to buy the dip of the dip of the dip

[+6] u/The_BakedCrusader: Suicide hotline if it's a -3% day?

[+6] u/mis_nalgas2: Isn’t it great how if we lose money in the market it’s our fault but if you’re a friend of this administration you get insider information on the best trades

[+6] u/optionsandheels: This is the realest the market has been lowkey. 

I miss the delulu days.

[+6] u/e30jawn: Our leadership is fucking pathetic

[+6] u/twostroke1: On enough caffeine to kill a small horse and zyn tucked under foreskin. 

**OPEN THE FUCKIN CASINO** 🎰

[+6] u/Kabrosif: Im holding a $100 spy put lotto and feel like Im gonna puke.

[+6] u/cloud_cafe: Load your puts, today is another -2%

[+6] u/posicrit868: &gt;In a social media post on Thursday, 🥭 seemed confounded by the challenge, calling Iranian officials “very different and ‘strange’”

O R THEY

[+6] u/ToughVegetable2483: If Reddit would bring back emotes spy would be 800

[+6] u/ten7four: Starting to think 🥭 can't tweet his way out of this one

[+6] u/I_work_too_much: Well I've passed the 1 month $250K loss mark now.  Very cool thanks.  👍🏻

[+6] u/coffeeman1010: This is gonna be selling off the entire day

[+6] u/Tall_Helicopter_833: Is this the gift Iran gave the President?

[+6] u/Difficult-Most-1924: “We’ve had one dump yes. But what about second dump? “

“I don’t think Bulls know about second dump regard”

[+6] u/2020isgreat: "why drop" maybe because market is finally pricing in reality???

[+6] u/Fun-Deal-2485: With the money i lost this week, i should have just booked that cruise

[+6] u/burnerAccountDuh24: Let’s actually crash this thing and get this over with

[+6] u/Lurk_Maximus: This is the deafening sounds of winning

[+6] u/Benjamin191: [ Removed by Reddit ]

[+6] u/Plane-Research1843: Hold the dam line bulls the bears are in control of the Wall Street strait now 😭

[+5] u/RealityBeOn1: 2020, 2025 both had massive fuck-you dips that 🥭 and his buddies used to get richer within a span of a few months. I doubt this will be any different. I truly do not think this admin has the attention span to tackle a full scale war.

[+5] u/Bong-Hits-For-Jesus: israel warns attacks will escalate and expand on iran as trump talks about peace

[https://apnews.com/article/iran-us-israel-trump-lebanon-march-27-2026-195444c54cbb7545d0a77f8ffbc0e4c0](https://apnews.com/article/iran-us-israel-trump-lebanon-march-27-2026-195444c54cbb7545d0a77f8ffbc0e4c0)

[+5] u/Starkfault: WSB: “I wish I could experience a market crash. I’d get so rich riding it down then back up.”

SPY: *-0.94%*

WSB: *bankrupt*

🤣

[+5] u/b1gb0n312: I have 54k in cash I'm holding onto very closely

[+5] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Even I became a 🌈 🐻. This has to be the bottom

[+5] u/North-bound: Cool pump donnie, would be a shame if something were to happen to it

[+5] u/Homeless-Coward-2143: How much will Microsoft and GameCucks fuck me today, stay tuned to find out!

Also fuck you Costco.

[+5] u/hayleybts: I might have to drink water for lunch at this rate

[+5] u/Muted-South4737: Nero posting on Truth as Rome burns

[+5] u/Best_Sherbert_9481: Does spy have the support to go below 640?

[+5] u/ultrachem: Iran war about to hit like pissing yourself: relief for three seconds, then regret and a huge mess to clean up

[+5] u/Savagebabypig: I can't take anymore of all this winning Donny

[+5] u/imtypingoninternet: crazy hes talking about negotiations like the iranians arent out for blood which is tanking the market and bombing anything of value

[+5] u/MoMeanMugs: Welp, CSPs were not the play. FML.

[+5] u/CardiologistEqual336: *World is ending*

Meanwhile 🥭: “i need my signature on the US Dollar”

[+5] u/Thentherewas9: I want the Hormuzzy to open.😔

[+5] u/Bonkers119: Bols thought they had a chance today lol.

[+5] u/Kinnins0n: He can’t pamp it anymore

[+5] u/AgeMiddle854: Watched Civil War the other night. When this shit crashes I'm gonna be like Jesse Plemons character but asking "What kind of voter are you?"

[+5] u/Swaggerpro: I place bets in this shit market out of spite

[+5] u/Best_Sherbert_9481: I should’ve bought puts at open but waiting for a small pump😢

[+5] u/MadHat0815: The age of bol is over. The time of the ber has come!

[+5] u/Eastern_Ad_3512: Every one listen up!!
Im buying puts to save the market

[+5] u/ImTheLizardKing2: Microsoft will be out of business in the next decade. Every part of its business is bleeding market share and overspending.

[+5] u/utterlyirrational: nice war.  now release the epstein files

[+5] u/Full_Cash6140: The funniest things is you know a bunch of people bought calls yesterday thinking Trumptaco would save them. Couldn't be me.

[+5] u/Anonymustafar: PERMABULLS AND SPY 700C BUYERS WHERE ARE YOU NOW

[+5] u/Extension-Ad917: Legit can't believe the 630P I bought as a just in case when this all started is about to be ITM

[+5] u/Muted-South4737: Bers have been yelling that we haven't even had the bad news yet. I was counting on his insane ability to manipulate the market, but I genuinely believe things are spiraling beyond his control. Anyway, act according to your convictions.

[+24] u/SocialJuiceWarrior: Biden really fucked this up

[+21] u/Idlehour_Knives: Remember, we chose for this to happen. This is not an external event or something no one had control over. This is something we had a choice about, and we chose stupidly.

[+19] u/Ater_Deus: The FBI director's email got hacked, you just know that dumbass Kash fucking clicked a sketchy link lmao

[+18] u/bearhunter429: #Market died and trillions erased from the economy because some fat asshole wanted to go to war and become a hero LMAO🤌🗽🦅

[+18] u/Necessary_Reaction62: BREAKING: US intelligence has determined that just ~33% of Iran's missile arsenal has been destroyed as the Iran War nears its 1-month mark, per Reuters.

Lol we focked

[+18] u/skychief99: Karoline Leavitt said in a statement that Orange Julius is not planning to send ground troops anywhere **at this time**.  Meanwhile he has ordered Pentagon officials to draw up plans to deploy troops.  So, I guess "not at this time" means not today.  LMAO

[+17] u/ryan178us: It's ok, I just lost 100k only, fuck my life ...

[+17] u/Electronic-Tax-1641: I voted for a fucking retard

[+17] u/RobertPaulsonXX42: 🥭 - "You know the market didnt really drop as far as I expected."

The Market - "...and I took that personally."

[+16] u/scooterhomeimprover: We may be witnessing an actual collapse of the global economy within weeks and a permanent end of US hegemony

[+15] u/Wishy: Whelp, account just hit 100% loss. Anyone hiring?

[+15] u/Imgoin2brich: 🍊 man is absolutely fcked in midterms

Absolutely distgusting

[+15] u/pacific_b: If you are thinking of investing in a stock first check to see if it has a dedicated subreddit. If it does, run.

[+15] u/wildcat1055: 🥭: We'll put our bombing on hold for 10 days and negotiate peace

Israel: LOL

[+15] u/Dbx84: https://preview.redd.it/bwfwg3xgmlrg1.jpeg?width=1179&amp;format=pjpg&amp;auto=webp&amp;s=55fe27878c4dd683e1f4a0a9f96e953d162634bb

Are we tired of winning yet?

[+15] u/PlanetSaturn777: Lost so much money I can’t even afford a rope

[+14] u/daddysgirl794: Seen multiple folks in here earlier this week saying the market had bottomed because "technical indicators" said so. Guys, we're in the middle of a literal war. Technical indicators don't mean shit

[+14] u/MissMatriarch: BREAKING: Israeli warplanes bomb Beirut

Al Jazeera’s team on the ground in the Lebanese capital reports a loud air strike on the city’s southern suburbs.

Warplanes can currently be heard flying low over the city.

We’ll bring you more information as we get it.

Source: Al Jazeera

[+14] u/pixi88: Trump Is ‘Getting a Little Bored with Iran’ as War Approaches One-Month Mark

[wtf](https://www.tipranks.com/news/trump-is-getting-a-little-bored-with-iran-as-war-approaches-one-month-mark?utm_source=webullapp.com&amp;utm_medium=referral)

Can't make this shit up.🤣

[+14] u/TheMeta40k: Spy, drop to 635. We know you want to.

[+13] u/Papimoneystaxx: Trump at 3:61pm:   
"Peace talks are going VERY well. Tremendous talks. Some of the best talks we’ve ever seen, frankly. Big progress being made. Everyone agrees,  these are GOOD talks. If the talks continue like this, we’ll have a permanent ceasefire VERY soon. Stay tuned. DONALD J TRUMP"

[+13] u/rdblaw: Winning at the gas pump, winning at the grocery store, winning at the casino, so fucking tired of winning

[+13] u/burtburtburtcg: BREAKING: 🥭 announces deployment, boots to arrive in BOL ASS immediately.

[+13] u/TowelOld743: Can we please vote for a normal person that's not 150 years old next time? And also doesn't diddle kids!

[+12] u/MissMatriarch: What a both hilarious and sad sight to see so many waiting for a tweet from a corrupt conman

[+12] u/_freckles__: You know the end is in for the US dollar when 🥭 puts his sign on currency notes. Nothing 🥭 touches has ever done well. Its always gone down.

[+12] u/AnimalIndependent: This guy is going to crash the market for a war no one wants

[+12] u/Borderpotroll: Holy fuck it’s really over isn’t it

[+12] u/pussinbuuts: NOT A REAL DUMP UNTIL AAPL IS RED

[+12] u/DogNamedFloppy: I know 🥭 tries to play it cool. But he’s gotta be shitting his diaper for the situation he got us into, literally.

[+12] u/Intelligent_League79: This administration is so fucking gay

[+12] u/Soft-Usual-9909: Kash Patels email hacked lol

[+12] u/definatelynotme321: The bers might be onto something

[+12] u/wyudtix: When I was a kid I thought adults in leadership positions knew what they were doing. Silly me

[+12] u/ev01ution: I’m just so numb. Fucking 🥭

[+12] u/Detonate-Ralph: &gt; 🇺🇸 🚀 LAUNCHED: THE WHITE HOUSE APP
&gt; 
&gt; Live streams. Real-time updates. Straight from the source, no filter.
&gt; 
&gt; The conversation everyone’s watching is now at your fingertips.

All that clownshow just for it?

[+12] u/Fancy_Cattle_5914: Lmfao trump is going to create a second once in a lifetime crash in two years.

[+12] u/Idlehour_Knives: Why don't they hire elon's boring company to tunnel under the strait

[+12] u/unholy-confetti: What are the requirements for impeachment? Just curious

[+11] u/Czyzzle: If you are 25-30 years old go full port on SPY and/or VOO, delete the app, and thank me in 10 years

[+11] u/Steamcurl: I re-used my coffee grounds this morning so I'm already up like $6.

[+11] u/The_AMD_Guy: What a fucking shit show this whole Iran fiasco has been. Nothing has changed but the price of oil has doubled.

[+11] u/HadamardConditions: Just in: Boots on the ground in Kharg and Hormuz this weekend, Iran swears to defend both. WW3 here we come!

[+11] u/Les7X: The man in charge of the biggest economy and military power of the world is literally insane. What a (shitty) time to be alive

[+11] u/ihopethisworksfornow: Normally if Iranian hackers claimed to have gained access to the FBI director’s personal email, I wouldn’t be that concerned. It’s their personal email after all.

But currently the FBI director is Kash fucking Patel, so it probably contains nuclear launch codes for some reason.

[+11] u/penelope5674: Market is so fucking shitty I might have to try at my job

[+11] u/Tronn3000: A predictable correction due to a war is about to turn into a premature AI driven correction that's much bigger

[+11] u/johannschmidt: Imagine being the most powerful person in the world, in charge of the most powerful, richest country in the history of humanity, and totally throwing it away for nothing.

[+10] u/ResidentPack4103: Rotating from wine into whiskey tonight boys!

[+10] u/illicit_FROG: Why are people begging mango in here, he 100% did this, America is going to be poor as fuck after that guy is done.

[+10] u/Long_Youth_893: BREAKING: The DOJ says FBI Director Kash Patel’s personal email has been breached by hackers.

[+10] u/UsedAlbatross7897: I’m thankful I haven’t deployed my capital yet. 80% cash position

[+10] u/seven0feleven: Guys, I think the DOW at $50,000 was the top.

[+10] u/AutomaticBobcat1712: Whichever retard said buy oxy calls, may Allah bless you and yours

[+10] u/bigboybigbat: I think the dump already happened. We probably just stay here today

[+10] u/ninjiple: Did anyone try saying Thank you?

[+10] u/Soffatjockis: Mango mango watchu gonna do

Watchu gonna do when Bibi threatens to release epstein files on you?

Oh, invade Iran... Ok...

[+10] u/SeaweedLeft9746: https://www.cnbc.com/2026/03/27/sony-playstation-5-ps5-price-rise.html

It's over

[+10] u/kim82352: &gt; Reuters: Iran-Linked Hackers Claim Breach Of FBI Director's Personal Email; DOJ Official Confirms Break-In

[+10] u/bearhunter429: #His plan was to pump the markets today so that he could escalate shit over the weekend when markets are closed. Now markets are crashing and he will have to back down from whatever escalation he was planning for the weekend. LMAO🤌

[+10] u/epictantrum: still thinking about the dude that said "glad I loaded up on calls" during yesterdays afterhour fake pump

[+9] u/patmccock86: And this is just at -0.87%, we used to get a real drill of 2-3%. They've put more effort into manipulation than creating strong policy and growth

[+9] u/peterpeer9: BREAKING NEWS: STOCKS DIP LOWER ON INVESTOR FEARS THAT STOCKS ARE DIPPING LOWER. - CNBC

[+9] u/KissMyRichard: The last time this market was even remotely close to being fairly valued was in October 2022.

So many people have been telling you guys this for years.

I'm not at all surprised it's finally dumping because the narrative that inflation is good for stocks has come full circle and now no one has money to buy much of anything except the top 10% and even they are getting skittish.

You were warned to be careful many, many times and I said it years ago and I'll say it today. It doesn't matter who they put in the presidential seat in due time it will always return to fundamentals.

Downvote me, block me, bitch and complain so you don't have to be accountable.

It isn't going to make you right or make you money.

[+9] u/miata_only: &gt; After a grueling time getting ashore on Kharg Island, Captain Muller (Tom Hanks) gets given a crackpot mission to go behind enemy lines to find and rescue a downed IDF pilot (Matt Damon). Surrounded by the brutal reality of Iranian drones the men embark upon their own personal journeys and discover the strength to triumph over an uncertain future with honor, decency and courage. Coming this summer to theaters near you, don't miss "Saving Private Zion"

[+9] u/Madsen13140: How regarded can someone be to think they will let the Marines control Kharg without vaporizing everything with hypersonic missiles

[+9] u/HodlMoonStonks: Friday circuit breakers could be kinda fun....

[+9] u/CoatEnvironmental728: I think 🥭is a mossad agent

[+9] u/Zeppu: Why doesn't your AI open the strait? Can't it? Wasn't it supposed to be great or what? Huh? Where's your AI? Are you waiting for it to come and save you? Oh, come on, are you going to start crying?

[+9] u/ihopethisworksfornow: After suspending me for 7 days for saying I was attracted to an adult pop star as a teenager, which ended yesterday, Reddit has this morning let me know that they’ve reviewed my appeal and I did not violate any rules and they will be lifting my suspension. 

Go fuck yourself reddit

[+9] u/Soft-Objective3421: 🥭posting the war was a joke on April 1st.

[+9] u/Beagle001: \--Chinese ships halt attempt to exit Hormuz despite Iran safe passage assurances--

Aljazeera

Maybe they know it's about to get hot up in there.

[+9] u/pinkerton_gov: Starting to think bombing a country with 90mil people that control the worlds oil supply was not the move

[+9] u/ProudPeak3570: bols praying their daddy tweets its a good time to buy

[+9] u/FelixMumuHex: 600 and sand in the boots by close

[+9] u/burtburtburtcg: 🥭 has officially put boots on the ground at SPY HQ

[+9] u/pineapplelover212: About time Gold disconnected from the stock market!

[+9] u/gini_lee1003: I need everything to go back up so I can buy puts again

[+9] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: They are literally rotating companies to keep SPY from collapsing. Apple was being used now it’s tanking so switching to Microsoft and Google which have steadily been going up all morning.

Just let it go damnit

[+9] u/pekas13: Why can’t the ships just go around

[+9] u/justlosinmoney: Can this shit just rip the fuck down

[+9] u/WickedTwista: How is construction on 🥭's ballroom going?

That's the most important matter

[+8] u/2muchnet42day: SPY missed earnings badly

[+8] u/freehouse_throwaway: but seriously tho, this orange turd has been a part of our public and financial life for way too long

[+8] u/HolographicHeart: Getting laid off at the end of April. 

Someone point me in the direction of Iran. If I can't be a wagie at least let me make history being the first one in the 'War that Wasn't but Then Was' to be killed by friendly fire.

[+8] u/SeaweedLeft9746: Kashes emails revealed:

Dear sexycow69@onlyfarmanimals,

BOBS AND VAGEENE????

Sincerely,
Kash Patel

[+8] u/soup4br3kfast: I still think this is going to shit. This isn't resolving itself next week. That's blind optimism

[+8] u/Got_Engineers: I honestly don’t understand how the director of the FBI gets his email hacked like what in the fuck lol

[+8] u/camel_crush_menthol_: Looks like i picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

[+8] u/camel_crush_menthol_: The worst part is if the markets are already tanked then DJT can do whatever the F he wants without having to worry about F'ing us over even further.

[+8] u/thetalentedmrbowser: Bought the dip yesterday 🤡

[+8] u/CanIMarginThat: why did liberation day feel 10x better than whatever the fuck this price action is

[+8] u/trsx5: Lost 10k like it was nothing. i think im smooth brained trying to short energy. Obviously im just regarded.

[+8] u/Comprehensive_Tea388: Trump gonna force everyone to buy war bonds soon just watch.

[+8] u/Initial-Magazine2169: Why would people not vote for a woman? I've seen this sentiment thrice in this thread in the last 10mins. Wtf

[+8] u/BubbaDaHorse: r e f u c k i n g s i g n

[+8] u/borrokalaria: I owe an apology to the person who said "*See ya at $350"* when I proclaimed that $400 is the bottom for MSFT.

[+8] u/daddysgirl794: Gold waking up and remembering it's supposed to be a safe haven again

[+8] u/Anfield_Cowboy: 2021 COVID Drop - 25%

2025 Tariff Drop - 17%

2026 Iran Drop - 8% (thus far)

[+8] u/Jimmy_Trivette: Get ready to learn Chinese buddy

[+8] u/Ihateporn2020: mango can't really truly just taco anymore. It's not up to him.

[+8] u/omegafivethreefive: Fuck it going cash, erased a year of gains but I no longer have debilitating diarrhea.

See ya nerds at the bottom.

[+8] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: So glad I panic sold everything last night.

[+8] u/Fernyfern7: Get in there exit liquidity I mean bulls

[+7] u/UsernameTaken_123: Yeah this is bad, but lets not lose sight of the important things in life - the White House ballroom is going to be real nice

[+7] u/bleeeeghh: Cant believe how weak the US really is. So many guns but the country is so fragile for extended conflicts.

[+7] u/NYGiants181: I lost 14k so I could receive my $245.

Thanks, I guess 🤷‍♂️

[+7] u/VaIentineX: wow what a bloodbath this week on tech

[+7] u/radium_eye: 40% of gulf oil infrastructure damaged or destroyed, out 3 years minimum. SO FAR. Iran remains capable of destroying more if they wish, though it risks drawing further combatants in, strategically they're working a play.

20% of the total world's oil goes thru the strait.

Our gulf allies are some of the largest investors in our emergent technologies, especially AI and hyperscalar infrastructure buyouts, and they ain't profiting off shit at the moment. Anthropic subsidizes user compute by up to 25X, giving away about $4800 of additional compute time cost over the $200 price tag. How can they keep running these deep loss leaders if they aren't getting funding? Pretty critical to our economy, in 2025 there was basically zero job growth and all economic gains came from AI!

Also. Oil ain't just oil, fossil fuel companies have worked so hard to integrate oil into every aspect of life intractably. Oil is plastics, oil is shipping, oil is energy, imagine what is going to happen with 20% of the world's oil locked down, and Iran having demonstrated that they have the capability to essentially hold a large portion of the global oil market hostage whether we like it or not, to force transactions in BRICS currency whether we like it or not.

The supply/demand shock that will happen here is in no way baked in, IMO, I reckon the world economy is just being a bit slow to realize precisely how fucked it is. Trump has done a lot of foolish America-hurting shit you can't take back, but this one, holy damn!

[+7] u/Icantfightthisfeel: Woke up. Sun shining. Portfolio destroyed. Time to go to work 😎.

[+7] u/alldawgsgotoheaven2: Best case scenario Iran retains control of strait of horny and charges a higher tax so they can rebuild and oil still hits $120 and stays there. 

Worst case is a glass desert or another 20 year “military operation”. 

I’m never gonna retire but I’m upping my 401 contributions

[+7] u/Shot-Acanthaceae1420: You know it's bullsih when a canned soup company is the S&amp;P's second biggest gainer on a Friday.

[+7] u/Regardium-Leviosa: Pamela Bondini's Dow defense no longer effective in court

[+7] u/bigmeatbag: New USD will be signed with "Bibi".

[+7] u/Nagalavonpelt: She’s begging to go down, can’t wait for sour hour 😁

[+7] u/humunculus43: What do you think his next GREAT idea to destroy the market will be?

[+7] u/HistorianMuch8963: whats happening with MSFT is absolutely historic

[+7] u/sxiom: #STOCKS FEELING CALIENTE 📉🔥

[+7] u/FrankelloHello: If we’re all losing money then kinda no one is losing money - when ya think about it

[+7] u/aaapod: wonder what tweet he'll come up with today

[+7] u/ConsiderationKey1658: It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.

[+7] u/SnooShortcuts7911: Bitcoin first hit $69K in Nov. 2021. Today, four years and four months later, Bitcoin is below $67K. This is by far the longest time period in Bitcoin's short history where the price of Bitcoin was below a prior high. It also happened despite record hype and so-called adoption.

[+7] u/my_garagegym_name: Gold up, oil up, spy down, btc down.... I can almost see reality on the horizon again

[+7] u/pizzascholar: The V that was promised

[+7] u/basedpogchamp: Not a peep from rddt bagholders as theyve all roped

[+7] u/DealLead190: Sarah is so dumb - why didn't market react to his 10 days...

[+7] u/Bpallstar95: Iran leaking the Epstein files is gonna be cinema

[+7] u/zestykite: Unironically. The plan is peace... By using maximum force

[+7] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: Bols gonna run out of money if you keep trying to stop 639 from falling. You won’t have any to stop the crash to 630 if you use it all now lmao

[+7] u/Who_is_Your_Zaddy: With all due respect, fuck all this shit man!

[+7] u/mechajlaw: This feels too certain. I know the fundamentals are fucked, but I smell a bear trap.

[+7] u/Oldschoolhype2: You know its bad when bulls not even posting their -90% port losses

[+7] u/MagJack: i really need to reset my brain with some mushrooms as the world is collapsing around me

[+7] u/Silver-Barracuda7834: I think America is actually over

[+7] u/SmallCapsOnly: Are yah buyin the dip yet son?

👴🏻

[+6] u/Apprehensive_Seat_61: 😂 not falling for that

[+6] u/killainvest: Big beautiful obituary or wars over….. I’ll take either tweet

[+6] u/cryptohorn: Oil finna recover that Monday drop

[+6] u/skin_flute_player: ##But did you say thank you?

[+6] u/cosmicoconuts: I sold my calls, pump it

[+6] u/Datsyuk131313: Uninstalling my brokerage app

[+6] u/cheetles_plus: They’re not even trying with the rugs anymore

[+6] u/TheOriginalBIG: Sources say 🥭 is frantically drafting up the most bullish post the world has ever seen

[+6] u/shimmy_kimmel: No way he doesn’t tweet something lol

[+6] u/mandoslambo: Please have your section 8 vouchers ready

[+6] u/RegardedDegen: Bought a put. When can I expect to receive my ghey ber membership card?

[+6] u/illicit_FROG: The V is not coming the orange bag fucking pissed everyone off the outflows of money from the US has been historical.... It's debt, 40 trillion now... WTF were you guys thinking

[+6] u/nknk_3: Dip buyers are ruining the market

[+6] u/f0xinaround: How could Pam Bondi do this to us

[+6] u/Ihateporn2020: we bombed a steel plant

[+6] u/Icommandyou: Future economists will write books on how to run the economy from JPOW and how not to run economy from 🥭

[+6] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: Oil is a fantastic short bc it will either go down bc iran situation is improving or bc the economy is slowing

[+6] u/jpric155: JP10Y up 4.6%.  Probably nothing.

[+6] u/Dividedby21mil: Somewhere Warren Buffet is eating a creamsicle and laughing at us all.

[+5] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: The stock worth buying is goog

[+5] u/Val44x: 1000 YEAR BER MARKET STARTS TODAY

BOW BEFORE THE BER OVERLORDS

[+5] u/potato111a: Mr. Krab, I don't feel too good

[+5] u/nocashflow_: we gonna see spy 600 before spy 700 aint we

[+5] u/netflixnochill223: Cmmon spy just touch 642 so i can sell

[+5] u/UniversityFrosty2426: Mango can’t TACO anymore. Someone needs to give their boyfriend as a gift to the ayatollah so I can make my money back.

[+5] u/NewDawn101: Thank god it’s almost weekend, gonna dress up as Lincoln and chase stray dogs around a park to relax

[+5] u/Sea_Echidna_7813: I’ll never see a V. In the market and bed

[+5] u/Recent_Register_2952: liberation day legit going to be a national "holiday" at this rate we are right on track for a repeat of last year LMAO

[+29] u/Beginning-Visual2341: The White House officials are negotiating with themselves and it’s going well 🤣🤣

[+28] u/NotMe357: "White House officials are cautiously hopeful that the latest negotiations with Iran are making progress - CBS Reporter on X, citing sources familiar."

This is today's pump tweet lol

[+26] u/RioThePenguin: I’m insane at buying puts at the bottom

[+21] u/Used-Bedroom-3763: Fuck you mango piece of shit

[+20] u/ResponsibleValue7745: $5,000 down every day for weeks now. Thanks orange pedo

[+19] u/YOLOdollhair: 11:24 negotiations going well.

11:38 negotiations not going well.

[+17] u/80s_JDM: # Crusade talks going well

Saladin is considering the 15 point peace plan

^(Trebuchets ordered to unwind)

[+16] u/met_art: &gt; Iranian media have reported that US-Israeli airstrikes targeted some of the country’s largest steel plants

What negotiations are going well if they are targeting non-military targets?! How I didn’t see this earlier

[+15] u/Difficult-Ask2278: Why doesn’t Iran just full port 0DTE calls and accept the peace plan? Are they stupid?

[+15] u/EyeraGlass: Bondi calling out market peak at the Epstein hearings is so lol

[+14] u/defordj: Holy fuck, that fake video of Karoline saying "they're launching" was an attempt at a viral ad for A FUCKING APP

[+14] u/Eddyrancid: “[Trump] is getting a little bored with Iran,” said an unnamed senior White House official. Jesus fucking Christ, man...

[+14] u/myboywears: Kash Patels personal emails breached by Iranian hackers. This is actually lovely, maybe we can get more insight into the conversations between some of the higher ups as it relates to Epstein.

[+13] u/McClintockC: #who has the cards right now?!

#has anyone seen my cards

[+13] u/Snoo23417: These bull traps are brutal.

[+13] u/SnoStrm: If you don’t have time to monitor the “Iran response to the peace proposal” storyline today, I’ll just spoil it for you you:

Roughly around 4:15 - “Iran responds positively to proposal and says such and such”

Random Iran diplomat - “We didn’t say that and haven’t talked to anybody, something or other about war and bombs and the enemy”

Sometime this evening - “PEACE TALKS PROGRESSING VERY WELL AND VERY STRONGLY: 🥭 “

[+12] u/KachThebest69: seems like 🥭 is legit out of cards

[+12] u/sonianevermindX: Release the Patel files

[+12] u/SINYACHTA: Guys the dow is over 40000, chill

[+12] u/Bloomeyer: which of u bought VCX at 500? lmao

[+11] u/ClaytonRook: oh fuck lol "FBI Director Kash Patel’s Personal Inbox Breached: Iranian Hackers Leak Private Photos and Resume"

[+11] u/daisymoth9: fridays are nice because there’s no traffic

[+11] u/DroidArbiter: USO dumped on that one candle where SPY went up - Insider TACO T-Minus 15 minutes

[+11] u/Muted_Wasabi_1284: 🥭 prob threatening a nuke if they don’t agree today

[+11] u/Unlucky-Pound8363: Sina news outlet just reported that a nuclear power plant in Iran was hit right now 

🥭 is going full 🥭

[+11] u/Dangerous-Bet-4303: # Iran's Arak nuclear facility targeted in attack, state media says

[](https://www.cnn.com/profiles/lauren-kent)

[+11] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: 🥭 says he will release USA response to Iran's 5 point ceasefire at 4:01pm after market hours.

Timing seems.. suspicious!

[+11] u/EducationalCicada: Wait. Could it be possible that the Mangotollah is actually just full of shit?

[+11] u/Upper-Difficulty660: thanks mango for including me in your latest bankruptcy.......fucken retard

[+10] u/Able_Durian_1832: Any retard from wsb is better fit to be the president

[+10] u/livingunique: According to an Israeli source, Vance had a "difficult" call with Bibi yesterday about the U.S.'s desire to end the war ASAP

They're trying to get out of this as quick as they can

[+10] u/wanseer18: So..........is Iran embarassing the United States rn?

[+10] u/_BowlerHat_: Has anyone checked on the Strait of Hormel? Balls deep in canned chilli futes.

[+10] u/PocaMadre69: Everything is awesome everything is fixed now let’s rally $4 for no fucking reason like always

[+10] u/RagingBearBull: "Daddy why did WWIII start?"

"Well kiddo, let me tell you a story about the man that started it all .... Jeffrey Epistien"

[+10] u/Q4shm0ney: If Iran releases Kash's emails talking about covering up the epstein files then they go up a notch in my book

[+10] u/Long_duk_dong_duck: Ummmm Israel just bombed an Iranian reactor

[+10] u/boringfantasy: My job was replaced by a markov chain,

the president is openly insane,

markets pump, markets dump,

to the tune of the changing wind.

I know it's over but did it ever truly begin?

[+10] u/swagmans69: Lost my down payment.

[+10] u/whitepug: "IRAN'S YELLOWCAKE FACTORY IN ARDAKAN BOMBED, NO RELEASE OF RADIOACTIVE MATERIALS OUTSIDE COMPLEX -IRANIAN MEDIA"

And you expect me to believe the scam talks are hopeful 🫩

[+10] u/Slow-Information-847: We will invade the islands before Apr.6 deadline. He likes Pearl Harbor style invasion, Dont wait until next Friday to buy oil

[+9] u/danyallah_: Cash gang checking in

[+9] u/Due-Refrigerator2306: can't believe this is how bers were living the past 3 years

[+9] u/ziggs_ulted_japan: No one actually thinks we're getting a ceasefire today right.

[+9] u/frey_to_tilt: Talks are going so well that 🥭 have to remind market every single day about it.

[+9] u/Extension-Change-441: all in, no stop loss fuck it

[+9] u/soscribbly: “Israel has issued displacement orders for all residents of Lebanon living in the south”

Uhh so you can just do that????

[+9] u/codespyder: I have 66 cents in free liquidity. What do I do with it

[+9] u/Phandomtrigger: Sold my puts drill time

[+9] u/I_Study_The_Patterns: Another fucking Peace Talks are going well?

[+9] u/Prestigious_Yak_1388: Calling it a day. Cannot look anymore. Gonna smoke till I’m nonverbal and watch some invincible

[+9] u/SawToothKernel: Gold and silver safe haven-ing again.

[+9] u/DeezSpicyNuts: I don’t know if people realize this, but it’s been less than a century since companies were hiring private armies to terrorize their workers and beat the shit out of them so the boss could get his way. You can count the number of decades on your hands. People must have Stockholm syndrome or something the way they simp for the sociopath class

[+9] u/met_art: &gt; Iran said Israeli and US air strikes had twice targeted Khondab heavy water research reactor near Arak in central Iran on Friday.

Okay, CBS and their sources can report on some *talks* progressing. In reality, shit is going down. It’s likely Iran is going to retaliate for today’s strikes.

[+9] u/WrongIntroduction686: You’d have to think the market will sell off before close. No one is wants to hold anything over the weekend. Getting in short right now prints going into close

[+9] u/hv876: I miss the days when dips in market were because of some structural risks that you could buy the dip on vs. some bullshit tweet driven nonsense

[+9] u/horseisahorse: &gt;White House officials are cautiously hopeful that the latest negotiations with Iran are making progress - CBS Reporter on X, citing sources familiar.

&gt;11:23 Mar 27

Glad the war is over

[+9] u/Agreeable_Leg_1046: Manipulation is an anagram of "Anal Opium Tin" ... just saying

[+9] u/kryptonyk: Just snorted some adderall and now I can see the future

[+8] u/uwu_owo_whats_this: Did trump make something up again?

[+8] u/Poptart_Salad: White House officials, who haven't made enough money insider trading every day this week, are "cautiously optimistic"  that Iran, who officially closed the strait today, and taking 5 days to respond to a shitty ultimatum, will go very well talks going very good pls limit up.

[+8] u/andytobbles: JAPANESE BOND YIELDS HOLY FUCK

+5% ACROSS ALL YIELDS LMFAO

[+8] u/frostywontons: Pics of Kash's dick will right this market. Just you wait

[+8] u/AlmostAsianJim: Calling a noon selloff when the 9-5 drones log in and panic sell.

[+8] u/get_da_maney: Bessent gave up shorting oil lmao

[+8] u/Bazzer82: He's just going to let people around the world start starving and running out of fuel etc isn't he? Because his ego is too big to back down and admit he actually did something wrong. This will only end when Iran have had enough of the whole international community getting on their backs because of collapsing economies, when they've clearly made their point that they're not to be messed with again. Probably got at least a few more weeks of this if not a lot more.

[+8] u/RioThePenguin: wtf was that hulk candle

[+8] u/SnoStrm: Where we you when Iran leaked proof that Kash Patel likes cigars

[+8] u/Pernicious-Peach: All those renewable projects you sidelined and mothballed are looking really good right now, eh taco?

[+8] u/bendersd: i dont know whats going on but this feels like the part in the movie where everyone thinks the bad guy is dead so they celebrate - but turns out he is not dead...

[+8] u/RareEurf: #FUCK YOU MEMORY BEARS.

[+7] u/Individual_Error_428: Oh no, more dump coming

[+7] u/TangerineHors3: Da fuq is silver doing

[+7] u/AgitatedJump8459: Nowis the time to fucking sell your shares lmfao.

[+7] u/RioThePenguin: No actually who tf is buying

[+7] u/Extension-Change-441: the longer it holds the more it pukes

[+7] u/The_Real_Jafar: I deleted my brokerage app from phone. See you guys next year

[+7] u/Devastaytah: slam 630p 0dtes on that pump

[+7] u/Nicksicurella: Everything down everyone bearish, the only logical thing must be big $SPY pump for no reason

[+7] u/Weekly_Finding6260: was out buying rope are we back?

[+7] u/Gweeds95: Manipulation tweet due any minute

[+7] u/Visible-Atmosphere72: People didn’t believe it when they say mango’s mission is to sabotage USA

[+6] u/No_Current3675: Pro tip: if you're looking for a job, make sure no one can google your shit and discover that you're an absolute fucking retard.

[+6] u/ChampagnePapi-: FREAK THE FUCK OUT AND PANIC SELL EVERYTHING !!!!

[+6] u/InvestigatorDue3660: Is there any site or data to track US troop deployment? Feels like ground invasion soon

[+6] u/KachThebest69: all this red and we still haven't invaded the oil island. we are so cooked

[+6] u/Waiting4Reccession: &gt;Exclusive: U.S. can only confirm about a third of Iran's missile arsenal destroyed, sources say

Article on reuters if you want to read it but lol- this war aint close to over

[+6] u/Colloquial: Bols start looking for manual labor

[+6] u/Least-Sherbert954: If you're not trading SPY on the 1 tick chart, I dont know what you're doing.

[+5] u/ajibtunes: BREAKING : US can confirm only about one-third (~33%) of Iran's missile arsenal destroyed with certainty.

[+5] u/Buschman11: Fucking pick a direction already! I lost money on calls and puts fuckkkkkkk

[+5] u/Icy_Calligrapher7080: When was the last time we had a nice wholesome circuit breaker? We're not showing that mechanism a lot of love recently.

[+5] u/SatisfactionNarrow61: Iran gonna get fucked this weekend

[+22] u/Haunting-Window-5125: Its actually insane how high the market would be without tariffs and the Iran war lol

[+21] u/Same_College2053: How many of you would like to see impeachment trials?

[+19] u/delicious_oppai: bols need to spam mango is dead on twitter. maybe they can trick algos into pumping the market LOL

[+17] u/MarginCuck: It’s way too bearish in here… time for more puts

[+17] u/moviekid214: THE FUCKING BALLROOM LMAOOOO

[+16] u/dljmonkeyboiz: They didn't tell Israel about the extension apparently

[+16] u/WayDry848: Farmers don't want handouts

@ 1min30s later

We've given you 12 billion dollars in relief.

[+16] u/bringkiteback: Never in a million years did I think I’d be rooting for Iran but here my puts are laid out ready for allahs blessing inshallah

[+15] u/UpwardCharterhouse: Close to lows of the day. Would like to see us dump another 1.5%

[+15] u/delicious_oppai: bols migrating to r/investing as we speak

[+15] u/ILoveTheAtomicBomb: market finally figured out Trump is just a giant sack full of shit

[+14] u/Remarkable_Owl: cool, I have lost $100k

[+14] u/Serious-Grapefruit20: Member when 🥭 said fight fight fight lol

[+13] u/bringkiteback: Iran hacked kash patels email 😂😂

[+13] u/Lucky_Message8554: Hope you guys are registered to vote🤪

[+13] u/the-real-batman3: I literally invested at the top, lump summed all my $ I had in savings lol fuck

[+13] u/WonUpH: These gen z vets are going to be something else 😂

[+13] u/ComprehensiveTop9612: see you boys in nasdaqistan

[+13] u/Spicyboi981: Btw, if you don’t have friends or family in ag, farmers have never been worse than they’ve been since last year

[+13] u/FeelingCulture649: How tf is he still in office

[+13] u/moviekid214: GOLD TRACTOR HE IS AN ACTUAL FUCKING TODDLER

[+12] u/Maximum_Light409: Lmfao we back to june/25 congrats mr. Orange.

[+12] u/SaintJeanneD-Sim: &gt;RUBIO TOLD G7 FOREIGN MINISTERS TODAY THAT THE WAR WITH IRAN WILL CONTINUE FOR ANOTHER 2-4 WEEKS

BRO, GET OUT OF YOUR CALLS BULLS, FOR YOUR OWN GOOD

[+12] u/DanasSideWife: The whitehouse has been negotiating over whatsapp with some guy who runs a falafel stand in lower manhattan

[+12] u/trumpdiego: ##THERE WILL BE No boots ON THE GROUND!  
##only military grade surplus footwear on the ground.

[+12] u/Impossible-Panda-827: Since Pam Bondi bragged during a congressional hearing in January that the S&amp;P 500 is at an all-time high, markets have been tanking. So much winning.

[+12] u/ActiveRelevant: i have aged 18 years after just 1 year of trump presidency

[+12] u/trumpdiego: The daily "we've won the war already" hour long rant

[+12] u/_lueless: Anybody else throwing their life away to avoid responsibility?

[+11] u/Actual_Disk9183: The market is displeased. A sacrifice is required

[+11] u/DanqueLeChay: Kash Patels private email got hacked. LOL

[+11] u/Garbage-Disposal-938: this guy is such a bullshit artist. his tariffs caused reciprocal tariffs AGAINST US farmers. and $12 billion dollars? we give that to Ukraine+Israel every fuckin month

[+10] u/SaaSGrass: Ber make fun of farmer

Ber not realize farmer make food

[+10] u/jroache: TRUMP TALKS IN LIKE 10 MINS

FAIR WARNING IF YOU HAVE USO CALLS LIKE I DO, THERE IS A BIG CHANCE TRUMP SAYS SOMETBING THAT DROPS OIL. BE CAREFUL

[+10] u/Normal_Tap3021: spy trying to act tough at 639 but we all know it's going to give in sooner or later

[+10] u/pepe_____-: He’s going to say sun bs to pump it isn’t he ffs

[+10] u/Weekly_One8412: this is a borderline market crash wtfff

[+10] u/AegonTheMeh: I think we are witnessing the first failed Taco.

[+10] u/way2lazy4u: WHAT DID HE SAY NOW????

[+10] u/confused_teabagger: &gt;1 Egg

&gt;1 Tbsp Full Fat Mayo 

&gt;1 Tsp Salted Butter

&gt;whisk

&gt;30-40 Sec in Microwave

&gt;Garnish With Parmesan

This is for bols who will be starving this weekend, but still deserve a tasty poor-man's omelette

[+10] u/Lapidated_Llama: We still have so much room to fall.

[+10] u/SovietPower777: When it reaches 640, bulls will say: bers really thot

[+10] u/Commercial-District1: You’ve got to be kidding me 🤠

[+9] u/stock_dude9: META could release the cure for cancer right now and the stock would probably fall another 5%

[+9] u/WayDry848: IRAN'S IRGC WARNS U.S.-LINKED, ISRAEL-ALLIED INDUSTRIAL COMPANIES AND HEAVY INDUSTRIES IN REGION TO EVACUATE WORKPLACES -IRANIAN MEDIA

[+9] u/smart_doge: My wife told me to sell UNH when it was $358. 

The regarded me is still holding it

[+9] u/Dense_Ostrich_6077: Perhaps the most sobering statistic I have read this week.

[+9] u/Frosty_Promise8050: I actually hope Iran is blackmailing Trump too, now.

[+9] u/good-times-: Mango speaks at 5:30pm

[+9] u/Throwingdartsmouth: This is the time where the bers see their 10000% gains turn into 200% gains through pure stubbornness. It's okay to take profits from time to time.

[+9] u/Affectionate-Fault46: The Great Wall of 639

[+8] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Screw the stock prices, nobody wanted collapse of global energy and food security

[+8] u/sonofalando: Folks, the portfolio, and nobody knows portfolios better than us, it’s being treated very unfairly. Very unfairly. Iran, which is a very bad place, a terrible place, did something, you know what they did, and SPY dropped SIX PERCENT. Nobody has ever seen anything like it.

Our 🌈 mod, great guy by the way, tremendous guy, he’s down $80,000 and frankly he’s never looked better. Very strong. The margin call, and I’ve been saying this, the margin calls are fake news.

We’re winning so much you’re going to get tired of losing.

[+8] u/PM_ME_YOUR_IBNR: Me floating in an n-dimensional bookcase thing shouting at my past self to not work for a fintech

[+8] u/Colors_678: When is the 🥭 gonna lie about how the war is going so we can pump?

[+8] u/Pablo_GTi_: Im really bearish, but bying some calls pre Trump chat

[+8] u/saw-it: All this cause of how someone laughs

[+8] u/TheMightySet69: "War to continue another 2-4 weeks"

SPY: 📈

[+8] u/greatfool667: Every day I lose 3% of my money but at least the amount lost is little less every day

[+8] u/Beneficial-Sail-6139: No truth social post will fix the supply chain disaster that is brewing right now.

[+8] u/Top-Sir-1215: “Don’t time the market” people in shambles

[+8] u/Total_Schedule591: Bet we close Hella green today

[+8] u/BreachlightRiseUp: Has anyone checked on the 50k DOW? Is she alright???

[+8] u/johndsmits: *"what we concluded is... don't* ***bet*** *against 🥭"*

Sees casino on fire: yeah not gonna bet on that.

[+7] u/cat_herder4: Bet the fucker isn't golfing today

[+7] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: at least I still have my personality 🥲

[+7] u/Acceptable_Dirt69: Accidentally got some coom in my mouth

[+7] u/Vegetable_Push6542: 🥭 = boy who cried wolf, no one believes a damn thing he says anymore

[+7] u/SuperSix: it's just all red LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[+7] u/DebtOk4461: It's the end of the world as we know it...

[+7] u/Dull_Principle2761: What is the actual end to this war though. Russia and Ukraine been at it for 4 years. Israel and mid east been at it for 5000. Why do people think this is like a 30 day war and then peace deal?

[+7] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Every dip gets dipped

[+7] u/chosimba83: 4pm today, I'm betting Trump announced boots on the ground in Iran. 

Puts for the weekend?

[+7] u/TomatoSpecialist6879: Lmao not even the MMs could stop the market wide sell off from everyone across the globe, those 0dte puts are gonna hurt their revenue for the quarter

[+6] u/Freedom-Of-Trades: Just because 4 new prediction market accounts made a 40k bet that won 800k on a "start of the war" bet  (and then they cashed out and closed the accounts) they think something funny was going on.

[+6] u/softboiledjadepotato: Come on!.. shouldn't your first 0DTE be free??

[+6] u/Normal_Tap3021: fake ass pump, don't be fooled

[+5] u/legbreaker: Get out and blame biden

[+5] u/manhuskycorgi: I'll invest my money the second quarter before democrats take office again.

[+22] u/ebfeebfe: This is the most blatant case of market manipulation I've ever seen in my 18 days of experience in Options trading

[+21] u/AppleJuiceTwo: at least we can all agree whose fault this is

[+21] u/PleasantAnomaly: What the FUCKK IS WRONG WITH THIS MOTHER FKER. All he had to do is not be a retard and NOT START A GOD DAMN WAR

[+19] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Israel says another 4 weeks in Iran lmao. These guys keep fucking up Trump's attempt to taco which is hilarious

[+18] u/COLU_BUS: Last chopper out of Saigon type pump there

[+17] u/MBBOrBust-: Dude’s still stuck on Biden. Move on man

[+15] u/gnanwahs: *The US signals to allies no immediate plans for an Iran invasion.

lol the market doesn't care about headlines anymore

[+15] u/Maximumm_Drawdowns: Apparently setting the Middle East on fire isn’t great for stock market

[+14] u/FuzzyStable2974: Christ, the tractor is the gift

[+14] u/PunchingAgreenbush: dumbest administration ever

[+14] u/PunchingAgreenbush: spyraq  
nasdaqistan  
dowran

our portfolios need reinforcements!

[+14] u/Stockengineer: When 🥭 said making things cheap, he meant stocks 😂

[+14] u/Sweaty-Sherbet-6926: Houthis to release an "important statement" in the coming hours

reeeeeeeeeee

[+14] u/BooBrew32: 🥭 's 🌮 power is depleted.

[+13] u/catfromgarfield: honestly hard to focus on my job with this market

[+13] u/thefxll: hows that bull market going?   
  
last i heard spy 700 was around the corner

[+13] u/Memes_Jack: If you make clown a king, palace becomes a circus.

[+13] u/SoftFaithlessness768: Iran has the US by the balls. They are squeezing so hard they might actually get what they want. Looks at their 5 point demands, US is about to lose big time. They want REPARATIONS paid by US LMAO

[+12] u/Civil_Building_9650: Iran’s got that if i die then u come with kinda vibe

[+12] u/Think-Mongoose-4864: Hes literally dancing lmao

[+12] u/pm_me_yo_creditscore: Thirty-nine days. Twenty strangers. One… very complicated financial settlement. Welcome to *Survivor: Kharg Island*!

This year, the Sole Survivor won’t be leaving with a dusty old check. No. You’ll be winning one million dollars worth of November Crude Oil Futures!

[+12] u/jasperCrow: I’ve never seen the oil market trade like this in all my weeks of trading it.

[+12] u/betaforever: Iran saying that the Strait is open for China, Russia, India, Iraq and Pakistan is such a subtle boss move. Letting 🥭 know their who their allies are.

[+12] u/OG_L0c: I should be working. Instead, I'm sitting on the toilet and watching my money disappear

[+12] u/babar_the_elephant_: I'm losing 10,000$ a day

[+12] u/SilentExtinction: 77 million absolute retards

[+12] u/ryu311: the good thing about losing 10% of my port every fucking day this week is that each 10% is worth less and less.

[+12] u/kawkface: BREAKING: The S&amp;P 500 officially falls below 6,400 for the first time since September 2025.

This puts the S&amp;P 500 just 90 points away from entering correction territory.

[+12] u/ebfeebfe: First they came for ber, and I didn't say anything, because I wasn't ber.

Then they came for bul, and my wife left me. Fin.

[+12] u/artandambition: Everytime I check it just gets worse

[+12] u/chainerection: Cant wait for my favourite youtuber to upload a "The truth about the recent market crash 😡🔥" content

[+11] u/Grey-59throwaway: Excuse me what the actual fuck was that

[+11] u/jayjay234: How can I bet on Iran's Strait of Hormuz toll gate revenue?????????

[+11] u/Complex-Algae-4214: Worlds falling apart, 🥭 "dancing" to the YMCA

[+11] u/The_Alan_Greenspan: Oh hey 637, been a minute. How’s the wife?

[+11] u/Dude_HaHa: The difference between Liberation day and now is that last year everything was working and the "fear" of tarrifs and counter tariffs broke the market briefly. 

Today, the nuts and bolts of the entire economy are coming loose. Physical commodities are Fuk, and the market hasn't priced in anything yet. VIX is still under 30. Market has not realized that those supply chains are out of commission for a few years minimum.

SELL WHILE YOU CAN.

[+11] u/mike_from_here: 2000: dot com bubble
2008: great financial crisis
2026: retard woke up one day and bombed a country

[+11] u/Contango_withme: Most of you are better off with a money market account

[+11] u/CasherburyTales: Oh look! It’s my portfolio value from 2023. Lovely

[+11] u/Stack_Johnson: Retail getting clowned on for buying the dip

[+11] u/SpicyPanda27: A generational bag holder was made today boyssss

[+10] u/OsamaBagHolding: An Autopen ran shit better than this clown

[+10] u/nomar_ramon: This market would go up in any sign of positivity even if its a lie. Its like a beaten  wife in an abusive relationship that would be happy when her husband is showing some kindness no matter how little it is.

[+10] u/mstcyclops: Actually harder than usual to tell what's going on just from comments today

[+10] u/TarrifJacksonJr: turns out a war that is going to cause a massive energy and food crisis for AT LEAST a year and likely longer is not bullish...Who would have thought...

[+10] u/AdjustDeezNutz: The plunge protection team fucking died in the front lines.

[+10] u/mikehoochie1234: Holy fuck I bought like 5 0dte puts an hour ago and completely forgot I had them. Just checked and they’re up 1000 bucks 😱

[+10] u/Thotmas01: 300 more and the dow won’t even be over 45 thousand. I still can’t believe Bondi called the top.

[+10] u/Background_Bonus7506: Someone just ropemaxxxed

[+10] u/severed02: At least 🥭 knew how to get out of the Vietnam War

[+10] u/Dependent_Boat_3144: This operation to completely eliminate bols is estimated to be between 4 to 6 weeks.

[+10] u/ThinDetective4741: 🥭 putting his signature on a dollar while crashing its value and the market lmao go murica

[+10] u/Unlikely-Profile1445: Went all 2025 thinking I was a good trader. Turns out I was just lucky lmao

[+10] u/Big_Red_Dogs: Support levels being bunker busted.

[+10] u/theworkinpumpkin: I should have listened to my parents and buy land instead lol

[+10] u/AdjustDeezNutz: Seeing 70% gains feels empty knowing I paper handed a 1000% gain.

[+10] u/Sweaty-Sherbet-6926: Several US airforce KC-135 refuelling tankers at Prince Sultan Airbase in Saudi Arabia decided to spontaneously combust this morning after hearing news that the war is almost over.

[+10] u/YNeverWAlone: Bulls out here lossmaxxing

[+10] u/PimpCforlife: well dumb fuck you just made renewable energy a lot more attractive having jihaded the oil market

[+9] u/Karl151: We're going to see bottom and capitulation that day when we see like a crazy mass liquidation event that starts at like randomly in the middle of the day with major blue chip stock dropping like 15% simultaneously and SPY like 5%. These little dips are not it, hold on to your cash

[+9] u/Unhedged-Fund: SPX defending that 6400 like russians in Stalingrad

[+9] u/r0n224: Please i don't want profits , i just want my money back!

[+9] u/depresssionista: Your retirement will be set back 5-10 years. Thank you for your attention to this matter. - DJT

[+9] u/hey-coffee-eyes: Praying for the marines heading to Kong: Skull Island 🙏

[+9] u/MrT_IDontFeelSoGood: “An important statement from the Yemeni armed forces expected in the coming hours”

Buckle up folks

[+9] u/Morocier: my 401k is now a 301k

[+9] u/cloudsofgrey: “Freak the fuck out and panic sell everything right now. It's fucking over.” - Warren Buffet

[+9] u/Academic_Lock_1699: MSTR headquarters getting the shredders ready

[+9] u/Xerlic: I'm making $100 a day with covered calls. After factoring in the money that I'm losing from my positions, I can safely retire by the time I'm 247.

[+9] u/BlitzComet95: The Indian gas station owner had an 04 Corolla a month ago. Now he has an Urus. Wonder what happened

[+9] u/Loud-Solution-6118: BIG, BEAUTIFUL DRILL

[+9] u/EquivalentBorn9411: More drilling please.

[+9] u/advantage_player: Turns out hedging doesn't work when you sell your hedge at the slightest gain and roll the money into calls

[+8] u/PopularCut4124: Who knew the price of the fuel of society would affect the economy?

[+8] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: This is a speech about farming wtf are we doing lmao

[+8] u/Jealous_Archer_4522: "Sir I DID call the V team.  They said they still aren't coming until they get paid."

[+8] u/ConstantAd1: Down 5.5% yesterday, another 6.6% today. Nice.

[+8] u/Flea_Mac_Daddy: Ever since a certain someone bragged that the Dow hit 50k in response to a question about pedophilia. It hasn't touched 50k.

[+8] u/bidahtibull: Iranian water plants under attack by the US and Israel...

[+8] u/puffinnbluffin: Well boys, 3 months of staring at a chart 50 hours a week amounted to +3000$ ytd.  Guess it’s better than negative.  Super aggravated with myself for giving away a solid 6 figures in gains when the writing was on the wall and the market gave so many chances to exit before shit started to really deteriorate.  Just wanna give a special shout out to msft and honorable mention to rddt, both can go fuck themselves

[+8] u/DoubleFamous5751: Peloton somehow up today

https://preview.redd.it/8o07syuagmrg1.jpeg?width=160&amp;format=pjpg&amp;auto=webp&amp;s=183f2901a2d0837d6aa3fdb4d66a885a22dc40a8

[+8] u/AppleJuiceTwo: Worst part is this downturn is all speculative at this point. shortages havent even hit yet. the snowball only started rolling

[+8] u/Stock_Financial_Guy: I keep cashing out on my puts way too early. Not a good ber

[+8] u/81458145: I have entered the bear cave and been devoured

[+8] u/fredditf: RUBIO:  WE CAN ACHIEVE OUR GOALS IN IRAN WITHOUT ANY GROUND TROOPS

[+7] u/jasperCrow: Going long into the weekend. Wish me luck 🫡

[+7] u/QuantrixQuintrix: TIL I have overinvested…by A LOT!!!!!!!!

[+7] u/NiceJobSon: My waistline is at resistance.

[+7] u/Standard_Tea8250: Port going down 3k daily wtf is this bullshit

[+7] u/Wall_St_Bussy: Calls if you have balls

[+6] u/MrMolecula: The mood swings in this thread… one day is cocaine euphoric, next day we only have hours to live

[+5] u/Samjabr: of course my dumbass did a strangle - that I can lose no matter which way the market heads!

[+5] u/platinumbrain: s&amp;p going to 5000 by the summer
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