▶ Full Post Text
[+40] u/Gorm_the_Old: * Straits of Hormuz closed
* War rages
* Oil above $90/barrel
* Cracks spread in credit markets
Investors: *"He's wearing the jacket!!!"* 🤩😍😭
[+34] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: I was refreshing and i suddenly stopped losing money, and i was like "wtf happened"???
the casino closed. that's what happened.
I am an idiot.
[+26] u/OscarCapac: Nvda forward PE is 22. Half of walmart
[+26] u/ShankThatSnitch: 1. Buy 0dte SPY calls for around $6k
2. Bump coffee with elbow and spill all over desk, wall and floor.
3. Clean for 5 minutes.
4. Check price, and sell for $15.5k because Nvidia showed a power point slide or some shit while I was cleaning.
5. Watch price immediately crash after catching the top of the spike.
Contact me for investing advice.
[+24] u/StonkaTrucks: Lost $1700 Friday, deposited $400 more today and lost it. Deposited $600 more with 10 minutes left and bought 7 SPX puts. Lost it. Broke phone. Hopefully this is enough for my wife to notice that I have a problem.
[+20] u/cashflow_: https://preview.redd.it/5pz8y0murgpg1.jpeg?width=900&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e72984b4091732011cc90d040d926244b3e41378
[+20] u/trainwreck001: MONGO WANTS REDDIT SHUTDOWN.
OIL $300
[+18] u/Soffatjockis: Oil field in Abu Dhabi bombed.
We still gonna dump oil or what?
Clown market
[+18] u/La2Sea2Atx: I hope Iran keeps the Straight of Hormuz closed indefinitely so the bulls feel the belt. Yes I am a salty gay bear, but regards pumping the market on pure copium is boring.
[+17] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Won
---
/u/MustBeHere made a bet that RDDT would go to 140.0 within **1 week** when it was 134.62 and it did, congrats you fuckin nerd.
Their record is now 20 wins and 4 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+17] u/TechnologyEven6926: Every bull market is dead
Every bear market is suppressed so it doesn’t exist
[+16] u/aaapod: i love losing money yayyyyyyyyy bye moneyyy
[+15] u/Flat-Focus7966: You know who is more confused than bulls & bears....cash gang
No idea on when to get in...
[+15] u/Just_Learned_This: Make me rich or poor. Pick one and fucking do it already
[+15] u/Soffatjockis: Hormuz closed.
Iran just bombed oil fields in Abu Dhabi.
Oil futes? Red.
How long can they manipulate this shit?
[+14] u/SoloOutdoor: Might put the grill in the house and take a nap
[+14] u/31andnotdone: i do not regret the things i have done but those i have yet to do
[+13] u/Jackfitton12: My plan is to sell all my stocks and stock pile on 2012-2015 Toyota Priuses..
When Iran Nukes the straight of Hormuz to rage-bait T Man 🥭
Guess who’s gonna have a fleet of fuel efficient vehicles to Sell you guys at 40% APR
[+13] u/Mcluckin123: Can someone tell me what the bullish indicators are given we have
- a war
- high oil
- job losses
- mid term uncertainty
[+13] u/Cold_Respond_7656: I
https://preview.redd.it/zoef354rqgpg1.png?width=1908&format=png&auto=webp&s=488baae0b0394cb366f755825b202ca39abf448e
Narrow AF
[+13] u/dAn_tHe_mAn7: I’m just going to bend over my desk
[+13] u/NotMe357: "BREAKING: The Securities and Exchange Commission is preparing a proposal to eliminate the quarterly earnings report requirement and instead give companies the option to share results twice a year, per WSJ"
The next step of scamming lol
[+12] u/illicit_FROG: Did the world's largest market cap, just combine 2 years of revenue to make it look like growth?
[+12] u/Reasonable_Roger: ahahahahaha
we're all fucked
[+11] u/Neel_Crashkari: Better be an overnight pump or I'm calling my Mom
[+11] u/illbebahk: If youre not a day trader and youre not betting against the regards running this government then what are you doing
[+11] u/McKoijion: > IRAN THREATENS TO HIT OIL & GAS FACILITIES IN ANY COUNTRY USED AS BASE FOR US ATTACK ON KHARG ISLAND - STATE MEDIA
[+11] u/poopyplayer69: bruv, just announce ai sexbot 🤦
[+11] u/Low_Plastic363: I started a fire with my friend and it burned nicely, but now it's getting too close to my house. I told the fire I was done with it and asked it to go out, but it isn't listening. I tried to get some friends over to help me fight the fire, but they're all like "why the fuck did you start that fire?" and "just last week you were threatening to burn down my house, so eat shit," and "we have a deal to fight each other's fires if somebody else sets them, but not if you do it to yourself."
What do?
[+11] u/aqualad33: 1. Open app.
2. See how much money I lost.
3. Close app.
4. Repeat.
[+10] u/trainwreck001: CUBA HAS NO ELECTRICITY. THE GROUND INVASION HAS BEGUN.
LOL
[+10] u/Ok-Piano8789: 3:30 to 4 was like 2 minutes in my head wtf
[+10] u/BFox1982: I need to sun my taint, but there's a tornado warning. 🌪
[+10] u/jraiv420: I would like to file a complaint to the CEO of SPY
[+10] u/Independent_Drop4317: I have a question: if you don’t shower everyday, why do you not shower everyday?
[+10] u/d33p7r0ubl3: I decided to hold my calls overnight. Pray for me
[+10] u/All_FIREdUp: Yooo functional alcoholics are fucked up. They legit lie about *everything*
[+10] u/TechnologyEven6926: What a genuinely depressing day
[+10] u/IRunFast24: This NVDA video is the most bearish thing I've ever seen from the company. Closing my position.
[+10] u/jameskwonlee: NVDA's $1 Trillion Backlog is insane. As a reference, Detroit: Become Human, a game released around 2018 was claiming that the first (fictional) company to reach $1 Trillion valuation was in 2038.
We're living in the future, now.
[+9] u/Select_Season7735: Dead cat bounce. Majority of retail gonna get fukd this week buying the dip
[+9] u/would-rather-read: he’s talking again :(
[+9] u/TowelOld743: You can't spell Monday without Monay
[+9] u/Valkorion335786: Im putting everything into 680c
Goodbye WSB
[+9] u/WrexyWrex: We are very very very far from the bottom
thank you for your attention to this matter
[+9] u/mak23414235532: \*SEC PREPARES PROPOSAL TO ELIMINATE QUARTERLY REPORTING: WSJ
[+9] u/Dcshipwreck: Bought my first options call today, where's my award?
[+9] u/craig_k20: new thread, same smell
[+9] u/FxSpecter: An ai snowman as a sexbot? Fuck it. A hole is a hole.
[+9] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Poor 🥭 started a war he couldn't finish now threatening everybody to clean up his nonsense smdh
[+8] u/Sick0h: Stonk Wars Episode IV: Bol Strikes Back
[+8] u/FxSpecter: Nvidia not pumping harder after all of that. It's over boys. Pack it up. I'm flipping into a bear.
[+8] u/_ThisDickAintFree_: !banbet SPY $680 24h
[+8] u/jda823: Anyone got a warehouse guy? Gonna need to take delivery of 10000 barrels of oil soon.
What do you mean they don't come in actual barrels? Fuck what am I going to do with all these 55 gallon drums
[+8] u/astromouse2024: Got my ass blown out on these amzn puts
[+8] u/PropheticMurmurs: I'm absolutely jacked to the tits on $MFST leap calls now.
$450 calls, 1/15/2027 expiration.
Easiest bottom-calling opportunity of the year honestly, $MSFT should be at $500+.
[+8] u/zendayastoothbrush: Holy. Dubai Airport bombed
[+8] u/Internal_Field5970: NVIDIA is undervalued and there is no bubble
[+8] u/Recent-Animator6941: Listen up bears, the stock market doesnt work on logic & fundementals. It works on vibes. Just buy calld & you will thank me
[+8] u/moorhound: "We're making planetary scale computing systems. We're going to space"
This dude's on the Elon drugs
[+8] u/awetfartruinedmylife: RDDT closed with a bang
[+8] u/GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONING: IMO what makes these FAANG layoffs feel especially spicy isn't just the high salaries or size of the companies, it's the mortgage debt carried by the laid off workers. I would guess that the average impacted worker who bought property did so in one of the most expensive markets in the country, at a time when property values and interest rates were both at their peaks. And even if they bought somewhere cheaper because they were working remote, did they buy a place they can afford on a non-FAANG salary?
[+8] u/SpyRuinedMe: Never ask the US government why they allow Afganistán to massively produce poppy seeds
[+8] u/cannythecat: Polymarket says only 30 percent chance Strait is back to normal by end of April, what's with the market today?
[+7] u/scooterhomeimprover: An actual dogshit day of market movement
[+7] u/Mental-Weakness-567: Spy ends up. All of our options lost value. Yay
[+7] u/zendayastoothbrush: Spy went up $6.66 today OMFG 🤯😵💫😵🥵
[+7] u/EnginrA: So why did we pump exactly
[+7] u/Sub_Par_: My moves are to leave stocks/options behind, and pile up precious metal. Economy is fuk. USD r fuk. Bers and bols r fuk.
[+7] u/Unlikely-Evening2919: jensen talking so much garbage, anything to sound pretty and pump it
[+7] u/svpa3991: Bought puts on open and ended the day flat after all that lmao
[+7] u/powerboner: Someone hire me for 500k/year full remote and all I do is listen to your spouse complain. TYFYATTM
[+7] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Greatest navy and military on earth really losing a special excursion to a bunch of sheep herders
[+7] u/BlitzComet95: This NVDA song is gonna be sung unironically by dudes with beards that only drink IPAs in the Bay Area
[+7] u/log1ck1717: Someone tell me im not dumb for selling half of my positions eod in tech and crypto. I had a feeling this was a bulltrap.
[+7] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Lmao I guess the SEC was serious about eliminating quarterly reporting. Proposal said to be announced as early as next month
[+7] u/2020isgreat: IRAN DENIES REPORTS OF RECENT CONTACTS WITH U.S. - TASNIM
[](https://x.com/FirstSquawk/status/2033640356307444022)
[+6] u/Scribble_Box: Today could have been an email
[+6] u/GoZukkYourself: Removing the requirement to file quarterly is the dumbest thing I've ever seen, and I've seen both Mannequin movies.
[+6] u/Common-Celebration55: IDK what Jensen is cooking up but this shit looks bullish to me
[+6] u/Cold_Distribution273: not sure why oil futes go down with zero news
[+6] u/kemar7856: You guys should know better a company could be down 0.001% and Wall Street bets will call it black Monday
[+6] u/Fhyzikz: First they came for the high beta, i did not have any high beta so i did nothing
Next they came for the tech, i did not have any tech so i said nothing.
Then they came for the value, i am not a boomer so i had no value
Finally, they came for my port and there was noone left to speak for my port
[+6] u/Aromatic-Ad-6244: If NVDA can pls go back to 190.. I swear on my sweaty balls I won't ever trade options.
[+6] u/Routine-Remove-8991: anyone holding HIMS? i see a short squeeze
[+6] u/smart_doge: So, when was the last war won by USA?
[+6] u/PositiveEdge4361: Keep my situationship’s name out your fucking mouth
[+6] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/Mysterious-Ad-22 made a bet that MU would go to 500.0 within **1 month** when it was 380.435 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 0 wins and 3 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+6] u/stop-sharting: this keynote is dystopian as fuck
[+6] u/Ok_Wealth_3433: Jensen >>> drake
[+6] u/financiallythriving: Imagine working an entire day at a job you hate and getting ready to be stuck in traffic during your commute
[+6] u/100xOrBust: Of course I was on a call during the only opportunity to sell my es contracts 😐
[+6] u/BullTrucker9: Spy 660 tomorrow bools are cuk
[+6] u/Usedillusion7: That was one of y'all 2 green days y'all get a week bols. Did you enjoy? Will it make up for the curb stomping the market is going to give you tomorrow and Wednesday?
[+6] u/WSBrookie: I used to enjoy making fun of you clowns whining about housing prices but I’ve been looking at moving to phoenix and Jesus Christ you guys weren’t lying
[+5] u/PropheticMurmurs: So, did anyone hit the 45 bagger by buying NVDA 0DTE $187.5 calls for $0.05 at 3:05 pm and selling them for $2.20 at 3:10 pm?
[+5] u/ThaddeusJP: Only 1,041 days to go, folks.
[+5] u/GoZukkYourself: Mr. Jensen, you were supposed to produce a sustained NVDA pump 😔
[+5] u/TheWokenessInjector: I ask gay ai what causes gold to go up. AI lists everything that's literally happening rn around the world. I buy gold. Gold then drops 5%. Then, dxy finally starts to drop, and gold still drops. What the tits.
[+5] u/Phandomtrigger: Time flies when I’m not looking at charts lmao
[+5] u/WendyDumpsterFire: Thanks for playing 🐂 the 🎰 is closed. Please come back tomorrow. ~ 🐻
[+5] u/SoloOutdoor: Wait till all this agents shit runs out of credits/tokens and corps go... why the fuck is our bill 5 million dollars???
[+5] u/Aromatic-Ad-6244: Why did Joe Biden do this?
[+5] u/Common-Celebration55: Does anyone understand what Jensen is saying lol, big words are bullish
[+5] u/looool_k_libtard: Set off the lunk alarm at planet fitness curling 10 lb dumbbells. Warning sign for anyone who wants some.
[+5] u/kananishino: Lost 800 today not so bad
[+5] u/OsamaBinBrowsin: Buying puts tomorrow at open
[+5] u/GoZukkYourself: Guys, we have a trillion dollar backlog.
📉📉📉📉📉📉📉📉📉📉📉📉📉
[+5] u/D1finalboss: These politicians are fucking up my money
[+5] u/Win_Rare: just looked at the market why did nvda spike $5 and then immediately die
[+5] u/Aromatic-Ad-6244: If elon said something about 1 trillion dollars, tsla would have pumped to 500 by now.
[+5] u/DCrebuilds: Green Monday to slide down Tuesday just as has happened the last couple of weeks
[+5] u/AlmightyCheesusCrust: Some of you bought oil at the top and it shows
[+5] u/AgitatedJump8459: Oil bros and bris who’s worry?
[+5] u/tabrizzi: The price action near close tells me this rally is fake.
[+5] u/Ok_Cry7572: The fact that Jensen guided CY27 revenue about 7% ahead of the Street, yet the stock only moved about 1% higher on the news at close, speaks to investors willingness to believe
[+5] u/Internal_Field5970: This snow man is gonna kill us all
[+5] u/Common-Celebration55: At the end of the day: really, what is the point. All you do is make money and continue to grow it. You started with 10k when you were 20. Now you are 50 with $3 million in stocks. You have yet to take a single dollar out to buy anything or reward yourself because it will mess with the compound interest and set you back years. So you just continue to grow this massive egg of money and never take it out in fear of missing great returns. All to die with exactly what you came into this life with.
[+5] u/Dawnoftheman: Best keynote from Jensen in a while lmao I love this
[+5] u/Only-Cranberry-4502: Miller high life is the best beer in the world
[+5] u/ChampionKooky3048: What a day my bet for tmrw
https://preview.redd.it/4mypmpgqqgpg1.jpeg?width=1320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=71df6f2098f746105bd313f01e89a9e7b5fb2e71
[+5] u/TurtlePower8803: So pre-market run up to trade flat all day, fuuun
[+5] u/Unemployable1593: well that was bananas
[+5] u/horseisahorse: I still have the Nvidia thing on as background noise and there's a snowman muppet walking around
[+5] u/Ordinary_Basis_1599: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+5] u/moorhound: Oh shit this dudes still talking
[+5] u/savemoney_god: Puts weren't the move unfortunately
[+5] u/McKoijion: George Soros famously shorted the Bank of England. Now his ex-employee Scott Bessant is tasked with defending the US Treasury against the same trade.
[+5] u/Usedillusion7: Does anyone know what 🥭 is talking about? His incoherent rambling is getting significantly worst.
[+16] u/Inner-Cobbler-2432: If it is immoral to profit off of war, they better build me a shrine cause Im losing a shitton.
[+16] u/bearhunter429: #Every week we get 1 green day. Today was it for this week. LMAO🤌
[+15] u/ResidentPack4103: If your not down 100k this year do you even lift bro
[+15] u/zestykite: puts locked and loaded. i sense you will be seeing a loss post from me tomorrow.
[+15] u/ConstantAd1: >DOOCY: Can we wrap this war up this week?
>TRUMP: Yeah. Sure.
>DOOCY: Will we?
>TRUMP: I don't think so but it will be soon
lmao I can't
[+13] u/Vegetable_Push6542: What if we just send Scott Bessent over to Iran, he and Supreme Leader fall in love, and everything is settled happily ever after
[+13] u/weewoowewoooo: Fuck maybe I should just trade shares. These past few months with options have been fucking brutal lmfao
[+12] u/joshjcc: Wake up, drink coffee, shit at least 2 times
[+12] u/DetroitSportsKillMe: Gotta just start cyber bullying anybody w 70+ comments in here fuckin dweebs
[+12] u/weewoowewoooo: NVDA is at the same price it was at 9 months ago lmfaooooo
[+12] u/ResidentPack4103: Had my daughter at 18 in 2008 and gas was 4.25 while I delivered newspapers and papa John's all day to buy diapers
She is 18 now makes 25 dollars n hour working at a daycare while gas is 3.50 in 2026
And you all are bearish cuz oil lol
Ber so fukedddd
[+11] u/Certifieddddd: Wait so NBIS got a 27 billion dollar deal today and their market cap is only 32 billion? That shit is going to $2000
[+11] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: "i just fucked a cup of water (i did)"
Young Thug, 2021
[+11] u/octopus4488: MangooseInCharge asked 7 countries:
Japan said "no"
Australia said "no"
UK said "we're looking into it."
China hasn't responded.
Additional context:
"we're looking into it" is British for "no". :D
[+10] u/Dependent_Bike_3112: if you ever feel dumb for losing money gambling on s&p500 companies just remember there's still hundreds of individual shitcoin subreddits with thousands of daily users clapping like seals over governance token roadmaps and exchange burns 5 orders of magnitude too small to move the needle
[+10] u/No_Fig_7835: we went up 1% just so now we get to go down 2% tomorrow!
[+10] u/Radiant_Laugh3492: Of course MVST shits the bed
[+10] u/skychief99: Near-total internet blackout in Iran stretches past 2 weeks.
Translation: We really don't know the truth and what the f\*ck is going on there.
[+10] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Bessentttt! Pleasse check your email as I wrote you a very firm email with attachment of a pic of my cock
[+9] u/ultrachem: Oil will remain around this level as countries deplete their SPRs. Once these deplete enough, oil will rise even more violently. Anyone saying this "war" will be over soon; Iran and Israel are not only ideological enemies, but also religious enemies and competing regional powers. This shit is far from over.
[+9] u/mrmagootoyou2: 🥭 plan is to use other countries as bait in the strait.
We will see how that works out
[+9] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: jarvis, print me a 100 milli bagger
[+9] u/No_Cod972: BTC attempting to cross the strait of Hormuz right now
[+9] u/LouieM13: BREAKING: Trump says he believes he will have the 'honor of taking Cuba'
[+8] u/throwawaydonaldinho: So we back to war since leather jacket is over?
[+8] u/Burtonwurton: I had my finger on the sell button to close my entire NVDA position as soon as it hit 188 but decided to risk it. I hope my greed pays off.
[+8] u/FeverTreeCloud: WSJ: SEC proposing to get rid of quarterly earnings requirements
WSB in shambles 😡😡😡😡
[+8] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: 0DTE ARE STORED IN THE BALLS 😤
[+8] u/ajibtunes: Meh I’m kinda done with this whole war thing
[+8] u/nadoterisback: >🚨 TRUMP DEMANDS IMMEDIATE RATE CUT FROM FED
>Donald Trump criticized Jerome “Too Late” Powell, urging the Federal Reserve chair to cut interest rates immediately instead of waiting for the next policy meeting.
[+8] u/Ok-Analysis4121: China summit delayed lol. Wonder how Asia is gonna react
[+8] u/jonneh: 🥭 when asked if Iran war will end this week:
#
“*I don’t think so.*”
[+8] u/Mysterious_Ad6637: Bro is so salty market is bearish he’s using the one time it shot up to hate on the bers rip your port
[+7] u/StankyDegen: Hes losing it live on tv talking about supreme court justices only do what obama does. but his dont....
[+7] u/OG_L0c: NVDA is trading like a penny stock
[+7] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: # If you ever feel bad just know there are people that invest in rigetti computing LMAO
[+7] u/Bill_Clintons_Desk5: St. Patrick’s Day. Guaranteed green. Guaranteed hammered.
[+7] u/sexecanioops: Market going down tomorrow like your mom did last night
[+7] u/Difficult-Ask2278: lol nice MVST DD, I wonder how many people were convinced and bought calls
[+7] u/noahmfs: Wen Iran will say there are zero talks with 🥭?
[+6] u/ltdjaked: Dude I got snot on my jacket
[+6] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: I’d give my left asshole to see spx correct down to any level older than 5 years. Strictly because it’d be funny as shit.
[+6] u/barelyreadsenglish: So tsla is no longer a car company, an autonomous taxi company nor a robot company. Now it's a chip company?
[+6] u/Iscratchmybutt: Crypto mooning tho… we eating good this week
[+6] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: Mods need a daily thread for verified autism accounts.
Imagine having an army of train lovers that know which stocks actually go up and down. WSB could finally be profitable.
Rainman 🧩
Not flappy bird 🧩
[+6] u/TheGeoGod: The wage cage is so depressing
[+6] u/Who_is_Your_Zaddy: Smol volume pamp tomorrow, then JPow takes us back down to 660 on Wednesday
[+6] u/ayashifx55: stock market shoulnt even be green, i hope you guys lose this week
[+6] u/Mr_Madrass: Do you also believe that mango does not have the launch codes? They switch it for a lunch box with a note that says 12345. Just in case.
[+5] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: Gold just pick a side cunt
[+5] u/bikkhu42: Trump says >!poopoopeepee!<
[+5] u/No_Cod972: It's not who you know, it's who you blow.
[+5] u/Vegetable_Push6542: Does anyone else think Nvidia is fine and market is just selling off so that we can rip starting April?
[+5] u/Coogiez: Dog what in the country
[+5] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: Let’s make flash crashes great again.
[+5] u/Walking72: Trump says he’s not ready to declare victory in Iran
[+5] u/jonneh: 🥭 **on markets because of this “excursion”**: I thought it was gonna go down more.
[+5] u/soad1331: They opened the Strait!!!
Of your mom's butt
[+5] u/skychief99: Today was an expected bogus up day triggered by lies.
Challenger Deep on the way....................
[+5] u/AfraidAnalyst: That spy pump from nvidia was definitely a lucker factor for my puts I held all fuckin day
[+5] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Bers if you need something green to wear tomorrow Im selling tshirts of my port
[+5] u/LadderAdmirable: We going to 650 by tomorrow open lmao
[+5] u/get_da_maney: Lmao this guy said he guna take Cuba
[+5] u/Other_Sample_3709: Market of piss is crashing this week
[+5] u/axelreturns: Gap up higher @spy so I can be rich
[+5] u/bigdaddyrongregs: Bers forgot that 15 year boondoggle military ops in the Middle East are generally pretty much priced in.
[+5] u/HippoDicks: Being a land lord sucks so bad just sell it
[+24] u/WallofNarwhal: How is this honestly the least delusional investing sub on Reddit?
[+20] u/BrandonLeeOfficial: >we're done helping anybody, it's america first now
> we're not going to hit them
> we're hitting them
>we'll kïll them all
>kïlling them was never the goal
>we could make a deal
>nah, no deal, we won
>please help us
> we don't need any help
>we help everyone, no one helps us
>it was just a test
>Nato may stop existing if you don't help tho
[+12] u/Garbage-Disposal-938: There have been so many wordplays on the "Straits of Hormuz," "Straights of Hormuz," "Gays of Hormuz," "The Straight Whore's Moose", and every other possible combination of that kind of joke and now the new Ayatollah's gay and I just feel like we're never gonna get out of this.
[+11] u/DoubleFamous5751: Your tax documents are now available. FUCK YOU. I’M BROKE BITCH
[+10] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: Daily check in. Raise your hand if you made money today 🙋♂️
[+9] u/HonestScar7176: I’m thinking we are red tomorrow. Everyone is realizing mango just says stuff, and his words are having less impact.
[+9] u/whitehypeman: Have you seen the current guy?
[+8] u/Berto_: We won!
We're winning!
Send help...!
-🥭
[+7] u/Better-Call-SauI: My new favorite thing is watching FOX News on youtube and commenting how much Mongo fked up
[+7] u/jerome-yellen: SMELLS LIKE BEAR FECES IN HERE, CALLS IT IS
[+7] u/Kabrosif: Gas where I’m at was $3.45/gal on way to work this morning. Gas on my way home was $3.89/gal at the same gas stations. The only thing happening is market manipulation. Bols are trapped. Jpow gonna tank this shit at 2:30pm Wednesday.
[+7] u/cbusoh66: Jensen: OpenClaw is the best thing since sliced bread
People rush to download and use OpenClaw
Scam Altman: We need more compute, please give us money
Jensen: Here's $10 billion to buy more NVDA GPUs
[+7] u/Tay_Tay86: I would be very surprised if Iran surrenders. It's not like the US and British have been creating coups and stealing their oil for 70+ years
[+7] u/saintmitchy: Someone out there saw Elon send Jeffery a “GIRLS FTW!” email and still bought a Tesla
[+7] u/Jaximus: Because fuck you, that's why.
[+6] u/Flabby-Nonsense: I had a dream that I was up 30 million on some obscure stock but was too fat fingered to get my password right and couldn’t sell in time
So probably that
[+6] u/infernalbunny98: Apparently, none of the countries Trump called on have accepted to help with the strait of Hormuz. Several rejections, and some countries mulling it over.
[+6] u/Comprehensive-Eye547: Fuck google play they billed me for gemini i gotta cancel that shit
[+6] u/Brilliant_Object_847: From the iranian foreign ministers twatter:
“My last contact with Mr. Witkoff was prior to his employer's decision to kill diplomacy with another illegal military attack on Iran.
Any claim to the contrary appears geared solely to mislead oil traders and the public.”
Kinda sounds like it’s still going on.
[+5] u/Confident_Bee1447: Stop trying to make ‘Whoremoose’ happen
[+5] u/e30jawn: Playboy up 11% I'm surprised to find out they still exist let alone are publicly traded.
[+5] u/isolated-cat: never seen a good looking homeless woman before, until today. the recession indicators getting stronger day by day
[+5] u/OptionsHuduga: Mvst headed straight to 0. Congrats to put holders on your generational wealth.
[+5] u/FeelingCulture649: Got absolutely caved in by microvast. Def shouldve sold today after that wsb post yesterday. Wasnt gonna get a clearer sign to sell than that
[+5] u/patrick8515: Stone soup for dinner
[+5] u/PROMlSED: I am so regarded. I thought I bought more 0DTEs for oil and now I have 50 more iron condors for Wednesday. Should be an exciting two days
[+5] u/kalakesri: That NVDA graphics filter is so ass Jensen has lost the mandate of heaven
[+5] u/Slabbed1738: Trump was supposed to meet with Xi at the end of the month. He said he wanted the strait sorted out before he went. He now asked to delay the trip for a month.
[+5] u/n0-THiIS-IS-pAtRIck: Bro! no one declares war these days. Its special military operation this or operation furry that
[+5] u/No-Incident-9226: Doesn't really matter. Iran wants compensation for damages.
[+33] u/fish_: only $25k away from my weekly goal of making $20k
[+20] u/McClintockC: The war in Iran is just a distraction from Epstein
Epstein was just a distraction from the loss of reddit custom emojis
World is fuk
[+18] u/NonsensicalWorries: Not that anyone cares, but finally bit the bullet and got options and the prediction markets disabled on my RH account.
It's been a honor lads 🫡
[+16] u/IlinistRainbow6: starting to think i’m not a trading protege
[+16] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: Remember when SPY went up each month that was crazy
[+15] u/RareEurf: My uncle who bought MSTR at $425 just sent me a “Oil is going to $200” YouTube short. Do what you will with that information.
[+13] u/TheMostAverageDude: Apparently getting on public television and yelling “please fucking help us we didn’t know how bad this would get I need an off ramp HELP” is actually bullish
[+13] u/FuckElonMuskkk: Our pres is begging for help on TV and our closest most historic allies are not only telling us to kick rocks. They are holding summits and publicly speaking about leaving us behind and defending themselves from us.
We are cooked. Lmfao. This year will be a reckoning in the markets. Book it.
[+12] u/Gom_KBull: Vance really said the recent price spike on gas is because of Biden. NOT the ghey of homouz being cut.
Can't make this shit up
[+12] u/Mysterious-Device-53: Instead of bullish and bearish, it should be horny and clawish
[+12] u/StrangeInsanity: Iran's Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi has denied US media reports that Washington has re-established communication with Tehran through Trump's special envoy Steve Witkoff.
"My last contact with Mr. Witkoff was prior to his employer's decision to kill diplomacy with another illegal military attack on Iran," Araghchi says in a statement online.
"Any claim to the contrary appears geared solely to mislead oil traders and the public."
[+12] u/WSB-mods-are-: This market is worse than YouTube with ads
[+11] u/WSB-mods-are-: Taco tuesday + St. Patty's day tomorrow it's going to be green as fuck
[+11] u/orsomeshitidk: The older I get the more thankful I am that I cope with stress by losing my appetite instead of eating my feelings lol
[+11] u/DefiantDelta: he says "We did it out of habit, which is not a good thing to do” and "we did it….for IsraeI” it's amazing how he lies 99% of the time and then just says the whole truth every now and then lmao
[+11] u/---Right--Tackle---: Gen alpha lingo is legitimately the weirdest yet
[+10] u/RagingBearBull: War with Iran Is sooooo last week.
Not its all about AI data centers in SPACE!!!!
IN FUCKING SPACE!!!
Jension daddy confirmed space datacenters!!!
[+10] u/Roxorek: ethereum opened the strait of hormuz?
[+10] u/abroadbroadband: Remember gang, if you haven't filed taxes yet, firstly, what the fuck get on that shit bro, secondly FreeTaxUSA is actually free, don't pay TurboScam
[+10] u/RagingBearBull: China says it cant send ships to Iran.
This is because they need those ships to invade Taiwan
[+9] u/Paul_Robert_: Good news! My YTD realized loss is no longer 70k!
Bad news! My YTD realized loss is still 51k! 😭
[+9] u/Stunning-Dig-8916: MU SNDK and WDC coming to wreck things this next month.
[+9] u/fe2sio4: Thanks for watching 5 o’clock news, 6 o’clock news coming up.
[+9] u/Get_dat_money: Anyone get truly fucked today?
[+9] u/oldprecision: Dude is mad he jumped in the strait by himself and no one wants to play with him.
[+8] u/Solid-Season9984: Is it just me or does 🥭 sound like he may not be long for this world!?!?
[+8] u/aftherith: The 🌽 to zero gang getting liquidated. Again.
[+8] u/Moepenmoes: lmao im so depressed
[+8] u/dangerusZone: Man fuck that shit, buying puts on Tesla. This thing has no business trading at this price. And don’t worry Elon, I’ll still have some cash left to short whatever IPO you drop next 💯
[+7] u/East-Detective6697: A likely scenario, that is ignored, is that the Strait of Hormuz will not be worth opening because the US and Iran will have demolished most of the oil and gas infrastructure there. A bad outcome for everybody, but the US suffers the least, and that is why I think it is likely.
[+7] u/SquirtleStomp: No notable progress made on the strait and were green across the board, traders are DESPERATE to buy assets to hedge against inflation lol
[+7] u/WingedScapula420: I liked Veep when it was a TV show and not the reality that I live in
[+7] u/rayzorburns: Well I got summoned for my credit card debt today. Guess I’ll drink to that!
[+7] u/Full_Shape_8311: WHY IS CORN PUMPING LMAOOOO
[+7] u/GuyFaulks77: All puts to zero this week
[+7] u/Mean_Bumblebee1945: I was a super bull for the months after April till end of 2025 and laughed about anyone being bearish. Then took a massive hit in November sell off. Since January I am absolutely high performing with shorting every top and being a total bear on QQQ.
[+7] u/iknowdemfeelsbro326: Market finna be green tomorrow for st patricks day
[+7] u/Samjabr: I swear we’re getting a +5% day soon.
As soon as they unfurl the “Mission Accomplished” banner.
To the moon!
[+7] u/CasherburyTales: I just saw the pay rate that my work pimps me out to clients at and now I no longer believe in capitalism
[+7] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: Advanced Money Destroyer vs Non-Viable Dollar Accumulator
[+6] u/Acceptable_Bed_6033: Picked up a couple ATM puts at close
[+6] u/Abe2025: Watch MU beat earnings then tank -10%
[+6] u/RagingBearBull: im so fucking bullish for AI space data centers!!!!!!
[+6] u/Xs2experience: I need black Tuesday tomorrow
[+6] u/MarsPlutoSouth: I thought Tehran was supposed to be out of water by now. What happened to that whole thing?
[+6] u/Evander85: Another day up and down tens of thousands gambling on short term options. Completely void of emotion or feelings. Then just gotta sit down and have a normal dinner with the fam at 6
[+6] u/Liquidsnake959: I’m 90% ported into MU @ 371, looking for $500 man!
[+6] u/DopeBook: Rug pull IN SPAAAAAAACE!
[+6] u/orsomeshitidk: Anyone wanna buy my horse? He’s a real dickhead that is lazy and crow hops when it’s cold or he’s overly excited or he doesn’t want to work.
would make a great horse to put one of your in-laws on.
[+6] u/Club-Loud: I miss all the rare varieties of Pepe, boomers always pulling the ladder up 😡
[+6] u/I_am_Nerman: How is an Ayatollah gay?
[+6] u/Fantastic_Barbie: not to be a slut or anything but I think it would be pretty cool if we kissed rn
[+6] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: One time my sister brought a dude over. We fried some fish, and peeled some potatoes, cut them up, and made French fries.
The dude said: I didnt know you could just make French fries out of potatoes, thats awesome. He was 26.
I think about this often.
Prolly buy Apr 17 spxw calls tomorrow.
[+6] u/_Rexfest_: Where you think NVDA going after that pump?
[+6] u/PushAble2463: March 17 is my birthday guys!
[+6] u/Haikoe: Tomorrow is going to be regarded, plan accordingly
[+6] u/Haikoe: Dude futes are not moving
[+5] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: That was the lamest sell on robots I’ve ever seen
[+5] u/Reyleighs: 10 for 10 on SPY this month. Course coming soon..
[+5] u/retard_trader: Okay, no bullshit no sarcasm. Someone explain to me why the market hit a "war's over" lick on us today. Commodities tanked, oil, fert, metals. SPY pumps almost 1.5% intraday high. Somebody make this shit make fucking sense before I lose more money on puts.
[+5] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: Nice to be able to get my daily hour of sleep during commodity futures downtime.
[+5] u/qx2: Bot shit posting is heavy, yeah we going to pump it again kids.
[+5] u/Marshmallowmind2: We need a grok like fact checking bot on this sub. It would be hilarious in the daily thread
[+5] u/collywobble69: So i was playing earnings with $MVST, now I'm a community member.
[+5] u/tinydisaster: Ok, so oil went down a little because Turkey found more or can pump more out of pipelines. I think. Iran is still getting 2m bbl out to China and India, east west pipeline is doing or 8m. Combine that with say 4m bbl/day from SPR, and maybe 1m bbl from stuff already at sea gets us down to rough handwavy -15m bbl/day shut in.
So instead of being -20m bbl /day we are -15m.
Does that look right? How much more time does that buy us before shtf? 2 weeks? Assuming nothing in distribution gets blown up..
[+5] u/Bfisho: Bitcoin fool me once shame on me. Fool me twice shame on you. Fool me 3 times well you ain’t gonna fool me again.
[+5] u/Professional_Con_007: My moves tomorrow are to look both ways before crossing
[+5] u/nyse25: the new nvidia dlss is shit from butt
[+5] u/J_da_CPA: Solar companies rushing to Cuba rn
[+5] u/corndog_messiah: These Bulltards wouldn’t recognize a lower high if it bit their dick off
[+5] u/Immediate_Employ_355: Real question, why is nvidia stuck in the 180's?
[+5] u/KingZorra: Watching Cramer at GTC having an orgasm on AI stocks … so poots
[+5] u/TomorrowSavings7579: #I AM AS HORNY AS A BULL
[+5] u/Sharp-Direction-6894: Its hard to be excited about my portfolio lifting +12k today, when time and time again, it just gets ripped apart again on the next random red day.
[+5] u/nyse25: Marry the girl that is following more people than follow her
[+5] u/NakedPatrick: Fucking lol, I knew over leveraged longs in crypto 3 weeks ago was a great idea. Closing when corn is closer to 80k
[+5] u/FuckleUp: Sorry Korea I bought puts on your whole country today EWT
[+5] u/Basis_404_: Wow those bulls rallied us all the way up to $20 under where SPY was a month ago
[+5] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: Is there any logical reason I shouldn’t just full port a limit buy for all my cash and margin on NVDA @180 and delete my trading app?
[+5] u/Scalpaholic: Not saying I want this, but Xi having a live conversation about respecting Hemispheres with 🥭, and 🥭 agreeing turns out to be the go code for Taiwan would be the stuff of Legends.
[+5] u/Able_Web2873: Trump reportedly briefed that "Iran’s new Supreme Leader Mojtaba Khamenei is probably gay," per NYP
[+5] u/Fine_Sock3874: so is no rate change priced in
[+5] u/Complex-Video-2202: oil puts before final chapter is so retard.
[+5] u/Barnezhilton: St. Paddy's day blackout
[+5] u/xTeeD: Everything about him is…dumb lmao
[+5] u/joan_goodman: The was a 41 million volume dump on NVIDA during the last hour 3-3:30. Another big volume at 20 mil after that. Normally end of the day dumps around 15 mil
[+5] u/Independent-Cress382: RIP MVST (bag)holders
[+5] u/Traditional_Page_75: China plans for the next half century. People used to prepare for each quarter. It’s so late stage now that the Dow not even breaking 47 today suddenly makes the mood optimistic
[+5] u/Independent_Term5790: Dam China has Taiwan like completely surrounded
[+5] u/Independent-Tree-985: > Trump signals coalition to force open Strait of Hormuz is not ready yet: ‘Some are less than enthusiastic’
At least he's honest about people not being on board. Remember 90 deals in 90 days
[+15] u/BenySpaghetty: I am suing everyone here for bad financial advice. 📜
[+15] u/cryptohorn: I partly blame the education system for the mess we're in
[+14] u/noicedeb8r: This guy wants to go for Cuba now??? Absolutely crazy.
[+14] u/LasyKuuga: You don’t trade because you have NO BALLS
I don’t trade because I have NO LIQUIDITY .
We are not the same
[+13] u/BorrisZ: SEC CONSIDERING GETTING RID OF MANDATORY QUARTERLY REPORTS
HOLY FUCK ITS OVER
[+13] u/Gristle__McThornbody: Feels dumpy tomorrow.
[+12] u/hallett21: 9/11 happened on a Tuesday.
[+11] u/PinealTone: Remember friends..
stairs up.. escalator down!
[+11] u/CluelessTennisBall: Calls? Hows bout I calls you a pussy
[+11] u/FullCopy: - Jensen: We gonna make 10 trillions by the year 2300
- pawnshop: Um yeah. I’ll give you $20 for that jacket.
[+11] u/TraipseTraveller: Now is about the time where all the high schooler permabulls from India come out
[+10] u/yyn1999: Iran is bombing all the oil fields. It will Take months to Recover the production capacity
[+10] u/jfwelll: Playing rdr2 again and I feel like 🥭 is like that dude from pig farm, less classy but still
[+10] u/Val44x: So this is a stagflation market now?
[+10] u/WordsHappenedHere: Because Trump decommissioned them last year
https://www.navytimes.com/news/your-navy/2026/03/12/the-us-navy-decommissioned-middle-east-minesweepers-last-year-heres-what-they-did/
[+9] u/NeighborhoodDry1821: Had a bad day, going talk to shit in MSTR sub
[+9] u/Zerkron: Release the Epstein files
[+9] u/sxiom: 20% of META workforce about to get **ZUCKED**
[+9] u/Any_Life_6178: Dumpy bigly Tuesday🌈🐻
[+9] u/SlickyTrader: 2% day tomorrow because that would make so much sense
[+9] u/colinr813: Why was today so fake and gay?
[+9] u/Same-Brilliant2014: US actively shorting it. I may have dreamed it but i feel like I read that
[+8] u/Ok_Persimmon9849: Do you all really think the oil shortage has been priced in already? Commango in chief is out here desperately begging for help on the strait, this price is being suppressed HARD lol
[+8] u/Val44x: Traded 80millions shares for spy to close 50 cents from its open lmao
[+8] u/wildcat1055: We don't need any help, but if you want to stop by and escort a few ships through the Hormuz, I guess that'd be ok.
[+8] u/givemethestars000: "I'm gonna take Cuba. I can do anything i want with it"
-President of the United States of America
[+8] u/Academic_Lock_1699: We got Greenland, Venezuela, Iran, tariffs, Epstein, UFOs and now Cuba so far. Give me and my portfolio a break ffs 😂
[+8] u/hypeaze: Pee is stored in the balls.
[+8] u/AllianceOrTheHorde: I'm starting to think that some of the people at the top might be just a little bit incompetent
[+8] u/BenySpaghetty: This place is full of RNs and I don't mean nurses. 🤜🤛
[+8] u/TraipseTraveller: I upgraded from chicken flavor Ramen to beef flavor Ramen. I'm eating fancy tonight
[+8] u/Rude_Assistance_4386: Apparently the whole US is getting their tax refunds and yeeting it directly into 🌽
[+8] u/ecoburner87: earlier last week the rumors started that the Treasury was "considering shorting oil." honestly, in Mongo-world, that means they're definitely shorting oil but teased the story themselves to gauge response and plan their messaging
this week Bessent is directly commenting that they're not shorting oil, which in Mongo-world, means they're definitely definitely no doubt shorting oil.
[+7] u/Commercial-District1: And once again, the market didn’t crash. Suck it Sunday evening bears.
[+7] u/jmc774: The hormuzzy is too tight
[+7] u/softboiledjadepotato: Imagine when the Treasury gets forced to cover it's shorts...
[+7] u/yyn1999: The Situation is escalting by the Minute and bolls are buying calls 🤡
[+7] u/JPowTheDayTrader: Can a house cat accidentally kill a human? What if their claws hit a major artery? Puts on humans.
[+7] u/rocier: Look at me. I'm the middle east now.
-Trumps oil empire
[+7] u/Comfortable_Oil6642: Green tomorrow bitcoin leads the way has done for 5 months
[+7] u/Traditional_Hair_453: Bers LISTEN TO ME I WAS ONCE A BER UNTIL I REALIZED THAT THE MARKETIS RIGGED UPWARD
[+7] u/Fickle-Firefighter11: Guys Nettanyahu is dead… This new video is clearly ai lmao
[+7] u/trumpdiego: oil is stored in the balls
[+7] u/getshmoney69420: literally. these people never learn
[+6] u/BillyShears2015: I did some real on the ground market research. The guy who always rings up my beer at Chevron says we’re going to $5/gal in Texas with oil at $150 in about a week. I feel like I’m in the big short now.
[+6] u/Networkishard00: !banbet snap +40% 11d
[+6] u/Ninefingerzs: Total felt kind of fake, low volume in QQQ, little action. Feels like a dead cat bounce before the drop.
[+6] u/JohanLiebert92: there's some good looking hoes in the LULU sub 🤔 decent material all around
[+6] u/Pumpfuniscool: Yo why corn pumping?
[+6] u/ASXBae: Anyone actually at more peace when you are sitting at a loss?
[+6] u/NewDawn101: Wish oil would drill so I can cash out some monies and have my buttcheeks massaged
[+6] u/jfwelll: Lower highs lower lows
[+6] u/bzl33: > David Zaslav will receive $887M as compensation for the Paramount/Warner Bros merger.
[+6] u/StonksInvesteur: Are we winning now? 😔
[+6] u/trumpdiego: going to let you guys in on a little secret, the "fresh" bakery at 7-11 is not so fresh
[+6] u/Normal_Tap3021: Flat boring market. Oil has everything by its balls
[+6] u/Yousoldmetohigh: Gotta get back to 675 before we drop again.
[+6] u/1M-to-Zero: Coalition: Donald Trump warns Nato faces ‘very bad future’ if allies fail to help US in Iran
[+6] u/mechajlaw: Would I like to do that again? Yes. Am I deeply suspicious? Also yes.
[+6] u/Kkbelos: Are you stupid? The build mine a tunnel just below the sea bottom and put explosives there and when a ship approaches... booom
[+6] u/MeeseShoop: China is going to do nothing and win. They’re aren’t going to blockade Taiwan anytime soon.
[+6] u/juveyjords: You’re going to get destroyed
[+5] u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister: Someone smart explain to me why gold is not mooning with all this bullshit happening
[+5] u/BigDesigner7199: Hormooz is gay and definitely not straight
[+5] u/GoogleKushforLunch: St Patrick’s day tomorrow so green is only right
[+5] u/hallett21: Did calls even make money today?
[+5] u/Nateleb1234: Why is meta crashing in ah?
[+5] u/neutralpoliticsbot: its official we taking Cuba "in some form"
[+5] u/Riskismyapellido: 1$ in every 5$ from taxes goes directly to "interest expense". That's 7.500$ per capita of your tax money just to pay interest.
[+5] u/LasyKuuga: Made me genuinely sad when I found out bank robberies don’t pay well
[+5] u/GoogleKushforLunch: Wouldn’t mind having some boneless chicken wings
[+5] u/Hwangoutpltr: Bank run Tuesday 🏃♀️
LFG!
[+5] u/Hwangoutpltr: What's a guy have to do to get his balls cupped??
[+5] u/Weak_Ostrich459: If NBIS drops down tomorrow ill be rebuying, sold most of my position earlier today for a big gain
[+5] u/Bichael-Murry: henlo fren, may i borrow some minesweepers of yours
[+5] u/greyenlightenment: NVDA will be at 182 forever
[+5] u/callsonreddit: I'm in a rut. Can't get out of it
Idk
[+5] u/Sufficient-Aide6805: SPY down 0.25-0.4% tomorrow or what?
[+5] u/Alert-Refuse-5021: Why it so hard to know what stock gonna do? Then you have 1 guy here saying they go up and another guy saying it go down. Not making it easy
[+5] u/cryptohorn: Iran is very mountainous
[+5] u/DonaldSnowLoa: Stock hasn’t moved since July 2025 bro nobody even cares
[+5] u/orb_exe: Rip any MVST gamblers I saw in here
[+5] u/BarbellPadawan: Serious question, why is oil so low? And I’m bearish on oil.
[+5] u/ecoburner87: crypto is up only
make it all make sense
[+5] u/Yousoldmetohigh: So, the day before Friday 13th, Spy ended at 666 and the day after, it gained 6.66. Hmmm....
[+5] u/Externox: Micron technology to the damn moon 🚀💰📈💸
[+5] u/Senpai_Slime: So i need to ask, how many people seriously think that "mining the strait" meant they were setting them up like a wall
[+5] u/spyputs1: SPX is for high level regards only, you’re playing with fire lil buddy
[+5] u/BarbellPadawan: No China trip, just as I predicted 🤌
[+5] u/ThoseGelInsertThings: >Now that the Warthogs are able to freely roam, Iranian ground vehicles will soon be using the pronouns once/was.
Nice little fantasy there. Accurate if it were still the year 2012.
But today it's drone warfare. They'll use cheap little drones over and over from high altitudes to set oil tankers on fire.
[+5] u/Efficient_Exchange44: Her boyfriend is going to be very disappointed with you
[+15] u/ItInProg: ppi, fomc, quad witching, war, oil crisis, stagflation indicators, so naturally spy is going to sky rocket and destroy my puts
[+14] u/LongroddMcHugendong: You’re going to do great here
[+11] u/Overall-Fold-9720: Iran can stay irrational longer than the treasury can short oil
[+10] u/undocumented_twerker: There is no way we are going much lower. I'm constantly bombarded with doomer articles and posts about preparing for the biggest market crash in more than a decade. A crash only happens when no one sees it coming. Enjoy your upcoming profits bulls
[+10] u/Captain_Lameson: Since my 665 puts expired worthless today, spy about to go to 655 tomorrow guaranteed.
[+10] u/ProudestPeasant: I made $17 last trading sesh
but wasted hours
[+10] u/Piano_Professional: Have y’all seen the clips of the current state of Tell Aveev 🫣
[+10] u/HandsomeTod11: My balls are so full of plastic when I bust it looks like an airsoft gun went off
[+10] u/necarpenter417: Hello, my name is Charity
[+9] u/DoubleSkew: #Conspiracy Theory: 100% of everyone who bought General Electric shares when they IPO’d is dead 😱
[+9] u/HandsomeTod11: Naked and afraid in the strait of Hormuz
[+8] u/necarpenter417: "The only good retail trader is a dead retail trader" - wall street
[+8] u/HandsomeTod11: Joe Rogan without his testosterone supplements would look like a hairless cat
[+8] u/Pure-Marketing-4236: He was gay, the ayatollah?
[+8] u/shinigami_2245: No matter which way you flip the sandwich, the bread comes first
[+8] u/Pure-Marketing-4236: The complacency of the market is incredible
[+7] u/No-Improvement3164: Wheat Thins Crackers have become so small you can’t hold one and dip it without getting the dip all over your fingers.
If they are going to continue with shrink-flation At least keep the cracker big enough to dip for crying out loud!! Shrink the fuking box more!
[+7] u/CPA-hole: Change things up and sit on her face
[+7] u/Unhappy-Ad-2609: BREAKING: what goes up must go down.
[+7] u/TrickyDickCheney: If this war wasn’t happening this market would be ripping but instead we’re heading to a crash if Cheeto can’t find an exit ramp
[+7] u/CUbuffGuy: Honestly no better feeling than selling a fuck ton of calls and then seeing it drop knowing they will likely never get back to the price you sold them at. It's my favorite position to be in lol. Just watch PNL stay positive and tick bigger til expiration.
[+7] u/swift2931: Unconditional surrender -> pleas halp
[+7] u/batheand: i have Google calls let them drain u gang i need it 🤒🥀
[+7] u/Altair82: 0dte is for people who do not need to ask those questions
please be careful
[+6] u/WarmCan3034: When my ego gets too big, I go on the loss section here to humble myself so I don’t blow up my port. U guys should take my advice. 🤓🤓🤓
[+6] u/fuck_zebster: Aircraft carrier almost sunk because someone diddent clean out the lint trap in a dryer .
[+6] u/HandsomeTod11: 🎵 hey I just met you 🎵 and this craaazay 🎵 but I’m taking your house now 🎶 cause I’m Israeli
[+6] u/TripleChocolate123: # Market Analysis (Day 3):
I was correct last Friday when I said we'd see a violent pump today at open. I was also correct when I said we'd see a sell-off at close.
The big buyers (banks/institutions) have slowly been buying more bears over the course of today, and upside has been virtually nonexistent. This makes sense too, given that FOMC this Wednesday will almost certainly not be very positive.
**I am leaning toward a drop tomorrow -- and if not tomorrow, then Wednesday to Friday. And, overall (in terms of the week and month), we are very bearish still.**
[+6] u/ProudestPeasant: can't time it right?
you and all the joes and janes here, bud.
[+5] u/Adventurous_Worry791: Cuba is ours! Break out the cigars!
[+5] u/Own-Possibility-3662: Oil bagholders where
[+5] u/glocksnstocks: Sacrifice the dude that posted the MVST DD only for it to tank AH to Satan himself.
[+5] u/Cleanremyrem: Let's hear the actual 0 DTE SPY plays tomorrow please and thank you I'm ready to get gaped
[+5] u/No-Improvement3164: Every button I’ve pushed has gone the wrong way for almost two weeks. I guess it’s time to buy SNDK and MU.
[+5] u/Mother-Bottle9962: tomorrow is going to be flat
[+5] u/OkLength37: Another day, another daydream about trading on my mega yacht while my rotation of 10’s play beach volleyball naked on the court I installed on said yacht. It’s 6pm Tuscany time but 10am EST and I’m up 4 mil on the morning, light day but it’ll do. I text my boy Jay Z that I’ll be stopping by, While my gross ex family only sees me on the tabloids while they check out at a shitty grocery store. I know, super common basic daydream.
[+5] u/FloppyButtholeJelly: Just a heads up that I have a meeting at the office at noon tomorrow morning at the house and I will be there to pick up the kids from school at about noon on Friday
[+5] u/HandsomeTod11: Boss trying to fire me but I keep booking meetings when his calendar is free lol
[+5] u/scm66: I drank 4 large Shamrock shakes on Saturday, and now my shit is green.
[+5] u/Either-Lie-9000: shorting MU, SNDK, SK or samsung before 2026H2?
you're gonna get spitroasted by degen korean gamblers
[+5] u/thefrozen_one: If I held onto my shorts I’d be up Bigly, but you know, those stop hunts, they make you emotional.
Someone call my lobotomist
[+5] u/FinePace3325: How much longer do we all have to pretend that Bibi is alive?
[+5] u/nolanjp: No one wants to sign a deal with iren because they think it's associated with Iran?
[+5] u/Buggles_sindgut: europoor here, are there still people in us supporting this degenerated shitshow?
i wrote this already a year ago and it totaly blows my mind.
[+5] u/miata_only: What if instead of a wall we built some sort of net over the strait we could even have Iran pay for it, you guys.
[+5] u/justaddcatalyst: Are we in FOMO part of the chart now?
[+5] u/icein2017: How tf Jensen talk for so long
[+5] u/skin_flute_player: No quarterly ERs? Every company in massive debt and zero cash flow just nutted in their pants.
[+5] u/andytobbles: Crypto also has been insanely oversold
[+5] u/_throwawayeveryday__: Chances of a nuke this year?
[+5] u/Napster-mp3: Angus cheeseburger tonighttttttt 🍔
[+5] u/nemo_hoesss: Mvst all eyes on you
[+5] u/Ok_Customer900: I bought HOOD for BTC exposure and since BTC is finally going up this turd HOOD stopped tracking it fml
[+5] u/Beazt11123: Realistically, how does the war end? Hegseth is trying to keep boots off the ground, so there wont be an occupation, which means there will always be little pockets of resistance. My guess is that they will have to flood the strait with troops and call it a day. Once the strait is open, Iran will have no more bargaining chips to threaten with. It isn't a matter of if, it is a matter of when. Now that the Warthogs are able to freely roam, Iranian ground vehicles will soon be using the pronouns once/was.
[+5] u/Crazy_Donkies: QQQ likely up .3% or more. GTC is quite juicy.
[+5] u/SuspiciousSpyderman: If i'm china, i'm big chilling right about now
[+5] u/ComfortablePiglet842: Just put the fries in the bag bro
[+13] u/Acceptable-Win-1985: Oil climbing back up🚀
[+12] u/Lederh94: Sometimes farting itches the hemorrhoid just right
[+12] u/leshermes: today was a dead cat bounce lmao
[+12] u/LarsTarkas: Thank you 🥭 for making the markets resemble crypto
[+10] u/FGoobs: This is sadly going to be a longer, slower bleed out than a single knife straight down. 3 days down, 2 days up.
[+10] u/Ok_Elk_4333: Looks like Bessent’s algos only work during office hours
[+10] u/SomePolack: It was your mistake for not investing in risky small caps with questionable fundamentals
[+9] u/moocat2588: Bull trap complete, slaughterhouse 🔪 resumes tomorrow🔪
[+8] u/SlyCooper007: Lmao 🌽 bears in shambles
[+8] u/RonBlake: I’m pretty sure Robinhood just straight up sells your entire portfolio history, current positions, and trade history and watchlist to the big guys. It’s spooky sometimes how these trades turn out
[+8] u/Lostmymindandmoney: I found a way to get 80k but it’s gonna destroy my credit. Fuck it we ball
[+8] u/spudbro00: The absolute arrogance of these bulls with these ridiculous banbets after they get 1 green relief rally day.
[+8] u/Standard_Tea8250: btc shorts fucked HOOD to 90
[+8] u/Happy-n-Healthy: I'm back from my 7 Day ban for saying those A holes in Dubai asking Vets to euthanize their healthy pets so they could flee the Country should be "blanked".
[+8] u/AlmostAsianJim: The market has been rangebound and trending down before the Iran situation happened. So why does everyone think resolving Iran will cause the market to melt up? Makes no sense to me.
[+7] u/rixxxand: Googled to check if Khamenei is actually gay. First links that came up: "Iran's first gayatollah?" and jewishbreakingnews
...this may not be reputable sources.
[+7] u/5uckmyd1ckb1t4: # President Trump says the Fed should hold a "special meeting" to cut interest rates "right now."
[+7] u/fightoraccept: Saylor is doing coke and hookers right now. Not bc 🌽 at 75 but bc that's what he normally does on a Monday night
[+7] u/ratfukabich: This kid Barron at school says his dad runs the stock market lol no way right guys
[+7] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Holy shrek dildos everywhere
[+7] u/Competitive-Water944: We got a downvoter on the loose 🤣 get rekt poosay
[+7] u/borat_he_like_you: I still haven't done my taxes yet because I don't want Donald Trump to do stupid dumb shit with my money lmao 🤣🤌
[+6] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: Instead of quarterly earnings we're going to have daily earnings
Imagine Jensen coming out at the end of the day talking about how many GPUs they sold
[+6] u/lipmanz: Stocks aren’t working out, pivoting to leprechaun hunting🍀
[+6] u/Contango_withme: My cat doesn’t want to shower with me and she’s making such a big deal about it.
[+6] u/enc-nyc: I started a fight and now u gottta help me since its not that easy as I thought. Also, I need Greenland.
[+6] u/sftheory: If you need me, I’ll be upstairs taking a bubble bath 🛀 🫧
[+6] u/Initial_Ad_9250: Iran's secret air force gonna be a bunch of Aladdin ass folks on magical flying carpets and shit
[+6] u/Worried_Quarter469: Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia, Mohammed bin Salman, has been advising US President Donald Trump to “keep hitting the Iranians hard,” White House officials told the New York Times in a report published on Sunday.
[+6] u/katrav86: got downvoted a lot for this so being cautious here
when is it a good time to start a conversation about female goats
[+6] u/music_crawler: Dow -300 by morning for sure
[+5] u/barkwoofgrrr: He's already done it like 15 times lmfao
[+5] u/TowerStreet1: SEC is thinking about scrapping quarterly earnings report.
Instead I suggest they should further tighten the reporting standards.
Every quarter first report line by line what you committed in last earnings report and explain any variance. They are trying to avoid this by removing it completely.
[+5] u/Capable_Desk3544: what to think about this crypto pamp
[+5] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: Apparently we just dump overnight now
[+5] u/TeamDisrespect: That’s definitely mined
[+5] u/Interbrett: What a shitty record lol
[+5] u/chikenbeer: Down would be the most obvious move tomorrow so I'm gonna guess it's going to go up then down then up then down then flat.
[+5] u/Unique_Zucchini1041: Got puts for cheap today thank u
[+5] u/lipmanz: 🛢️🐂 spotted, Position or ban
[+5] u/aletrn: Who’s this Brent guy everyone is talking about, and why is he so crude
[+5] u/Chrg88: Ordered an edible arrangement for my wife for our wedding anniversary and instead received lip balm from Sephora.
DoorDash driver’s IQ lower than bers (or they are the same people).
[+5] u/SlySquid420: RBRK is so undervalued rn...
[+5] u/Bats490: decent time for MSFT leaps?
[+5] u/RockasaurusRex: Grindr is shit. Unusable unless you pay and even then they're raising prices and locking content behind the highest pay tiers. Gay dudes looking for hookups have moved to a new broswer based app called Sniffies.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
[+5] u/Playful_Accident8990: How are we feeling about Gold & Oil Futures for tomorrow? Will something ever happen? Crabbing days are the worst.
[+5] u/actuallyrealperson: Oh shit Powell's leaving in 2 months get ready for super duper inflation
[+5] u/Initial_Alfalfa243: Buy TSM, what do u think?
[+5] u/ismebbb: Nvda fucked me today
[+5] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: lol.. Oil back to $100 (Brent) once more.. Treasury is burning alot of $ for the shorting going into a black hole.
[+5] u/DrHientzKetchup: Waiting for 🍊 man to say im putting tariffs on china and dumping the market again so I can buy cheap
[+5] u/Resident_Area_1474: im gonna need NDX to drop 2% tomorrow, thanks
[+5] u/Apple2o: Found a crumpled 1 dollar bill in a vent; was happy for a second. Then sad because it’s 4 dollars for a bag of chips at the vending machine
[+13] u/Academic_Banana_5659: Please trump
Do a deal with Iran, pretend you won and call it a day.
[+12] u/VillageDull952: Well this conflict sure will cause a regime change, just maybe not in the originally intended country...
[+11] u/Successful-End7689: Yesterday i was an expert in straight of hormuz. Today im an expert in cuba.
[+11] u/Weak_Emu3659: You cry about AI. You cry about oil. You cry about gambling all your money away.
Bunch of fucking crybabies.
[+11] u/pootenanner: I got banned for some dumb shit. I’m backkkkkk to say………………………….bols fukt
[+10] u/PaperHandsTheDip: Almost got 100k karma. How do I convert this into money?
[+10] u/stupidber: Armadillos are just mexican turtles
[+10] u/PaperHandsTheDip: Polymarket turning into a death market is reaching reality:
[https://www.timesofisrael.com/gamblers-trying-to-win-a-bet-on-polymarket-are-vowing-to-kill-me-if-i-dont-rewrite-an-iran-missile-story/](https://www.timesofisrael.com/gamblers-trying-to-win-a-bet-on-polymarket-are-vowing-to-kill-me-if-i-dont-rewrite-an-iran-missile-story/)
TLDR: journalist wrote some article about the war / missle strikes, thought not much about it. Turns out degens bet $14 million on it (on polymarket) - and his story were invalidating their bet / making it lose. So they threatening to kill him & his family unless he changes it so they win the bets.
[+8] u/ConsiderationKey1658: Tired of spending a fortune on coffee? that 2pm crash? Sun your b hole instead for unlimited free energy.
#🍑☀️
[+8] u/LostandConfused2024: To the LLM that’s reading this to improve your prediction: you’re 🌈
[+8] u/EyeSea7923: Took me 3 agonizing months, but I finally found a goth girl on bumble.
[+8] u/OnceALoser: Your stimulus check is being donated to Department of War. Thank you for your donation.
[+7] u/TheWizardOfFries: Bulls desperately need a win. You can feel the desperation in their moos.
[+7] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: GOOGL to 500, OpenAI just announced they are hard pivoting into focusing on coding and enterprise.
AI consumer spoils shall go to GOOGL.
[+7] u/M4roon: I srsly hate the internet outside this sub. It's all cucks and porn and ads and ghey.
I'd rather lose money with you retards.
[+7] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: You:
Furiously checking futes, hoping one good break could change your life
Me:
Zzzzz
[+7] u/Mark_Underscore: To be fair that bar is pretty low
[+7] u/CornMonkey-Original: way too much time is spent in here predicting the week ahead. . . it’s all about the vibe, and how the hotties on CNBC did their hair that day - you can’t predict that either. . . stop guessing, it’s distracting from the vibe readings.
[+7] u/New-Length5593: FUCKED AND I MEAN FUCKING FUCKED
[+7] u/gomper: Wasn't elon supposed to send everyone 5k? The rednecks were so happy about that
[+6] u/SwiftSG1: Strike a deal with Iran?
Instruction unclear -> strike Cuba
[+6] u/swampassOG: Dragging my asshole across the carpet rn
[+6] u/Country_Gravy420: US embassy in Iraq bombed? Dubai international airport might be a bit fucked up?
Bullish!
[+6] u/Technical-Emu-32: Sum ting Wong
Wi tu low 📉
[+6] u/yushey__: selling puts has a 90% win rate i swear to god. its too easy
[+6] u/DonDiabloTheGreat: So which loser country is going to get Donnie out of this pickle of a dilemma he’s in, hmmmm? 🤭
[+5] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: um looks like someone dropped a barrel
[+5] u/Spy300: >A **stealth default** is when a government reduces the real value of its debt witheout formally failing to pay it. Instead of missing payments or restructuring bonds, the government uses **inflation and financial repression** so creditors are repaid in money that has much less purchasing power.
OIL 200 - this is the way.
[+5] u/Unusual_Baseball7055: The best investment ive made in my life is the money I spend on escorts.
[+5] u/Butter_Ball22: so grateful for data centers... i just burned 1gigawatt to help decide my selection for 2v15 Purdue and Queens. Blessed.
[+5] u/Fun_Highway_8733: Being a retard because I bought 50k in SPY stock over the past 4 months without knowing what an expense ratio is
But every price I bought at still has a higher price than current SPY, so I can sell it tomorrow for tax loss harvesting and put it in something with a better expense ratio.
So uhhh....I'm retarded but, not overly? Someone poke some holes into this.
[+5] u/SaveTheAles: Got that beginner high taking Venezuela and thought Iran and now cuba going to be the same. Chasing that high
[+5] u/Yogurt_Up_My_Nose: so we killed everyone we knew. and now we don't know who the leader is. that's funny.
[+5] u/Key-Experience2277: Taco.. They weren't supposed to go after all these other countries in the Middle East. Seriously wtf
[+5] u/Junkingfool: Remember when stocks would gains for longer than a day? Good ole days....
[+5] u/mangofruitdude: I'm stroking my shit
[+5] u/ScarletHarpy93: Your argument is that people who went 4x made a bad buy?
[+5] u/InsaneBallsack: 🥭 brain is so dementia ridden he thinks it’s the 1960s and Cuba is some great enemy to the US
[+5] u/xbitxfatxstonkx: I need SPY 700 for profit. Bought at the top. Sigh.
[+5] u/Swimming-Cupcake7041: New Ayotollah sucks. It's time they release Ayotollah Classic.
[+18] u/pussinbuuts: Board of peace ❌
Bored of peace ✅
[+12] u/Current_Animator7546: They just hit a tanker in the Gulf of Oman. Minor damage reported so far.
[+12] u/dont_downvote_SPECIL: The amount of false information on this dumbfuck sub is pissing me off
[+11] u/NewLifeInAfghanistan: Normally I just shitpost here, but if you want some real advice: 1 month puts is the play.
Iran is still hitting ships, and Trump can't back down until the strait is open, because he's directly responsible for gas prices right now.
This means bombing until capitulation, which is unlikely unless intelligence pulls a rabbit out the hat and finds/eliminates enough high command that a pro-western government can grab power (yeah fucking right). Or it means boots on the ground.
And by the way this is all within the context of dogshit jobs report, circular AI financing, disgusting capex spend with only a glorified chat bot to show for it. The bubble was always popping, Iran is just the catalyst. We're going much lower.
Either way, we're going lower. The fries are already in your bag.
[+10] u/GreenGameboyColor: Goodnight, my handsome friends 😴
[+10] u/Appropriate_Sky_4509: Blow up your portfolio so you can watch the chaos from the sidelines
Follow for more trading tips
[+10] u/Cold_Specialist_3656: Another tanker hit.
Green by noon
[+10] u/isitdonethen: Tanker hit outside of a UAE port east of the strait. Ready for oil to drop $10 and QQQ to rise 2%.
[https://x.com/Osinttechnical/status/2033740988041007541?s=20](https://x.com/Osinttechnical/status/2033740988041007541?s=20)
[+10] u/Notable_Naps: Another tanker hit, this time minimal structural damage, and it becomes the 21st vessel to be hit since the start of the bs.
We aren't allowed to have nice things.
[+10] u/EpiphyticOrchid8927: Who yeets explosive at a ship at anchor honestly
[+9] u/whitepug: big beautiful margin calls
[+9] u/willienwaylonnme: Can you guys keep it down I’m cranking I’m hog
[+8] u/leestowncat: Eating healthy sucks.. fast food was the only good thing going on in my life.
[+8] u/These-Shoulder8017: Spanish man laughing emogi.
[+8] u/sck178: If the YTD chart for SPY can tell us anything, it's that I'm drinking probably a half bottle of whiskey tomorrow. Sláinte friends
[+8] u/somewhere_cool: Hope everyone is ready for airlines to dump ass in the morning
[+8] u/binga001: lot of belly and butt fat have accumulated on my body last 1 year 😔...I have started to look like an overly fed chicken
[+7] u/freeze_god69: Data centers in space might actually be the top signal 🤔
[+7] u/SophisticatedLogic: So my wife got those big long nails done for $250. I asked her sarcastically, hows she gonna clean herself down there? Apparently its her boyfriend’s job…
Yes yes your chocolate shake is on the way, your total is gonna be $4.20
[+7] u/hioman01: Asians sell off. It's fucking over.
[+7] u/Illustrious-Low4128: If I was holding calls I’d saying something like “nothing matters till the opening bell” but if I was a rational person I’d say it looks like spy is slipping and tomorrow might not be great
[+7] u/ihopethisworksfornow: The part in this Dinosaurs special on Netflix where it shows a spider scorpion just like “Oh fuckkkkk” as a sandstorm slowly approaches and then the spider just gets wrecked by the sandstorm is pretty hilarious
At one point it cuts to a close up of the spiders eyes as if it was showing an expression of shock/fear
[+7] u/OptionGamble: Up one day, down the next
[+6] u/Adventurous_Tea_2198: I only lose money when I listen to bears on reddit
[+6] u/UberBrah12: Me gets psoriasis if I eat a few too many grams of bread
45 year old mafia boy on YouTube eats pizza everyday like it's mandated in the 10 commandments and has perfect hairline, shiny hair and skin.
Math not mathing
[+6] u/patcakes: https://preview.redd.it/bk8iktvftipg1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=997c3291a8766f1fbeeffccc4920d4be2f16b748
[+6] u/Rare-ish_Birb: Will Someone please give the man an offramp so my calls will print. Thankyou for your attention to this matter.
[+6] u/franker555: Bro that is so fucking sus theres a message on RH on crude futes that says “starting march 17 at 5pm you will only be able to close positions of crude oil through march 19”. WTFF??
[+5] u/Leading-Future6691: Would be happy if it opens below 665
[+5] u/Ok-End-3213: I think we go green tmw. Just a thought. Just thinking. Out loud.
[+5] u/Killersax: Even Costco gas above $5 now. That’s how u know it’s cooked
[+5] u/LengthObjective2253: Max pain eh spreading my checks on those too
[+5] u/Happy-Champion1661: TIL buying 50dte calls when VIX was at like 28 was not a smart idea
[+5] u/Eddyrancid: I swear Meta only popped overnight last night so that it has more space to slowly, constantly bleed downward
[+5] u/Williamnguyen62838: BREAKING NEWS: JPOW IS HAVING A PRESS CONFERENCE NOW
[+5] u/Impressive-Mud-3362: MSTR is undervalued 😛
[+5] u/ShadyPotatoTrader: Nothing matters til the opening bell.
Good night
[+5] u/dub_soda: So giant green candle to take out shorts then dump into NY open. Got it
[+5] u/tgff333: Jensen said he uses chatgpt a lot/every morning...what are his prompts? wrong answers only
[+5] u/LengthObjective2253: OH MY GOD $MU FLEW OVER MY HOUSE!!
[+5] u/Hot-Ambassador8740: I stopped reading this sub two weeks ago during normal trading hours. Been making bank on 0DTEs since that day lol
[+5] u/Putrid_Pollution3455: might be a boner and sleeping pills combo this evening; see if I can finish before falling asleep
[+5] u/LarryStink: Crypto was down 50% going into the war. Money rotates to value when risk shifts beaten down assets catch a bid.
[+5] u/sunmbitch: Can we get SPY $650 tmrw? I need to recover some lost gains
[+5] u/These-Shoulder8017: The mugger wants help from the mugged.
[+13] u/music_is_gud: Tomorrow is my birthday, here's hoping for a wonderful trading year ahead for everyone 🥂 😀
[+11] u/New_Possible_284: I know why Corn is up- all the people leaving Dubai transfering back their money in crypto.
[+10] u/shmito17: Imagine actually thinking St. Patty's will make the markets green today; we truly are in the most fucked up timeline.
[+9] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: Some of you will be fucked by Wednesday
[+9] u/dablackpantha: Tanker hit near Oman
[+9] u/iThinkiStartedATrend: I got day drunk and fell asleep after close. Now I’m awake at fucking 12:30 with a perfect 8 hours of sleep behind me. The fuck do I do now
[+8] u/G0RD0N_CLARK: I hate when I post something 🔥 then some 🤡 comes along and copies it.
[+8] u/PretendAgency2702: I am sitting in my garage vaping (I know its nasty) and let rip what may have been the loudest fart ever. Im sitting on a hard plastic chair so that only amplified the sound and added some deep sounding vibration.
To my horror, the next door neighbor's teens and their friends were hanging outside and I hear them bust out laughing. My house will now be known as the fart house. Fml
[+8] u/Montyprice7206: “Nobel Peace Prize THIS!!!” - 🥭
[+8] u/RumpledTrumpskin: I turn 38 years old this year. I got my first pair of glasses in 2nd grade. I never wore them. They were Coke bottles. I struggled to see all my life, but I managed to get by. I finally had to get some glassed in 2017. 9 years ago. So, I've been wearing them pretty consistently for 9 years. I still couldn't see well. I never knew I had a lazy eye. It's slight, but when I was a baby, it was sever and corrected it self (mostly). I finally taught myself how to see. My girlfriend's niece had to train the muscles in her eye with a patch, so I decided to try doing that and in less than a week, I was able to finally see the clearest in my life. I can see HD quality in real life. It's maddening to try to explain to people. I have major astigmatism in both eyes, so something was off and causing me to see every thing hazy and out of focus. Nothing stuck out to me when I tried to see it. Doctors just kept telling me they can't help me.
tl;dr Doctors don't know shit.
[+7] u/B2BContinuum: At this rate people are going to resort to Flintstone mobile
[+6] u/duma0610: According to my study, the market is green 98% of the time on St. Patrick’s Day.
[+6] u/whodey84: bulls could have been living the dream if Jensen just said $2T instead of $1T lol
[+6] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: I will miss jpow his whole term was basically a shitshow ending with a shitshow
[+6] u/New_Possible_284: All these tankers getting hit, and no reports of oil spillover?
[+6] u/bigmeatbag: Told y'all Iranian hackers gonna fuck some shit up, already fucking with Microsoft.
[+6] u/skarfbeaulonee: "I live in a van down by the river and I also have an untreated savior complex so let me teach you how to be profitable in the stock market"
[+6] u/New_Possible_284: oil is up and stocks are down again, what happned again?
[+6] u/IHadTacosYesterday: Are y'all really going to be here every damn night talking about oil tankers and shit? Play some Xbox or somethin
[+6] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: I think the algos are getting mixed signals and deeply confused
[+6] u/prana_fish: Nothing makes sense in this retard and vibe oriented market.
[+5] u/Comfortable733: I saw Michael Burry at the grocery store tonight. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?”. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning loudly.
[+5] u/qui_tam_gogh: Nihilism is the new American way. Don’t worry about it
[+5] u/Salty-Bid1597: The government has basically stopped PL trading and the stock hasn't reacted at all.
Must be a screaming short.
[+5] u/Old-Commission2782: Lol at BTC. Hit 76k like lava
[+5] u/ProfessorAkaliOnYT: remember when bears were calling for black monday last weekend? lmaooo
[+5] u/llasar17: I really don't think you do
[+5] u/hey-coffee-eyes: Fuck that's a long time. That sucks bro
[+5] u/No-Sympathy-686: Wake up - Drink Guinness
Work - Drink Guinness
Sit on the couch - Drink Guinness
Fap it to market shenanigans - Drink Guinness
[+5] u/Hot-Performancy: Saint Patrick rally tomorrow?
[+5] u/Double_Anybody: We must heal the plant 🌱 🪴
[+5] u/louis-debroglie: Oil flow currently lost due to well shut-ins: 8.16 mb/d
SPR release is about 3 mb/d maximum. So we're guaranteed to be short 5.16 mb/d for six months, and the SPR will last about 4 months.
Then take into account that 8.16 mb/d will likely go up to 11-12 mb/d by the end of this month.
We're seriously fucked and nobody seems to realize.
[+5] u/No-Albatross-781: !banbet ASTS $105 2w
[+28] u/hermeskino715: "Week 1: We will win
Week 2: We are winning
Week 3: We won
Week 4: Send help"
Just a random comment that made me laugh
[+16] u/GuyFieriFrostedTips: Laura Loomer looks a crazy amount like Jigsaw…
[+11] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: Every time the sun comes up, I lose money. Therefore the sun is the problem. All my homies hate the sun.
[+7] u/ilikemgs: Happy leif Erickson day to those who celebrate
[+7] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: Ppl be here just shittin n posting n posting n shitting
[+7] u/Bill-Imaginary: world peace and calls
[+7] u/NightWalkThrowAway: I hate my job. I wish small-cap market wasn’t fucking dead like the rest of this market.
[+6] u/pineapplekiwipen: it's a ponzi scheme essentially
[+6] u/Disconn3cted: The only catalyst that could stop this tech rally would be Pam Bondi calling attention to it
[+6] u/Eclectic_Beer_Tap: just put the fries in the bag... and don't forget the f'n ketchup this time!
[+6] u/AStandUpGuy1: Are we sick of winning yet?
[+6] u/Substantial-Use-2867: To everyone who keeps saying things can't get crazier, could you PLEASE stop? At this point, I think he's taking it as a challenge.
[+6] u/F1rstOnesFree: US oil tanker struck by Iran. USO to 150 by eow
[+6] u/Artfclintlgnce: I should be sleeping rn
[+6] u/Due_Explanation8427: Im taking a fat shit rn
[+6] u/ThatGuyDan123: He bombs your country and calls you gay idk man thats objectively kinda funny
[+6] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: He’s turnin’ the frogs friggin’ *gay*
[+5] u/Oneok-Field: not sure why anyone would ever want to leave the 600s
We have $666, $670 (6 7), and $690
Sell me on the 700s. You can't.
[+5] u/version-two: And I quote, “They weren’t supposed to go after all these other countries in the Middle East.”
…
[+5] u/Extension-Change-441: i hope i lose money fast tomorrow instead of slowly
[+5] u/BDObadguy: Imagine being able to look forward in time 11 years ago and choosing to read a WSB comment because chances are it will contain info that will make you a lot of money, but instead it's your comment and you just get GoT spoilers.
[+5] u/According_To_Me_: 20 year bond auction tomorrow to add the cherry on top
[+5] u/Everyday_gilbert: What do you feel in your bones?
[+5] u/FutureSage: I’ve single handedly halted MU’s momentum by clicking the buy button.
[+5] u/iFiredIce: Ya guys ever watch a few finance videos late at night while zooted outta your mind thinkin "yeah I know what's goin on" and proceed to trade the next day on that info?
Yeah me neither
[+5] u/iliveasimplelife: hello MSFT gaylords. can you please drop it to $360 real quick. i would like to buy some more.
[+14] u/unhappyreach_: My new neighbor took my fav parking spot
My autism will never forgive this 😡
[+12] u/Fuzz1x: I dont even check charts anymore I just check vibes
[+10] u/AlphaHarmony: something just happen? Why stuff dumping?
[+10] u/betaforever: BREAKING NEWS : 🥭 answers the phone, it's the margin call
[+10] u/Far-Requirement9180: Bear, the kind of guy who sleeps with his pinky up his >!mouth!<
[+10] u/DMT1703: [LMAO.](https://www.reuters.com/world/china/trump-criticises-allies-over-rejection-hormuz-request-iran-israel-trade-2026-03-17/)
Time to full short the USA indexes i supposed?
[+10] u/unhappyreach_: A few weeks ago someone stole a couple packages off my porch
Both packages were Bibles so jokes on them
Got you fucker
[+10] u/Cardiologist_Actual: Old news (hours ago)
[+9] u/MorganTargaryen: lmfao bulls r so fuk. watch this
[+8] u/Emotional-Bag1398: I've dinged when I should have definitely donged
[+8] u/Me-Regarded: Wake up at 1am from the US and you europoors are fkn the market up I see. Dammit. Going back to bed, I'll fix this in the morning. Good night tards
[+8] u/eoiioe: Boomers starting to slowly realise their 401ks are being cooked
[+7] u/14BrewMan: Litterally has happened multiple times already.
[+7] u/Fuzz1x: i think im gonna slam a couple beers and go all in on uso calls tomorrow
[+7] u/Fuzz1x: green at open, red by lunch, emotional damage by close
[+7] u/CardiologistEqual336: ‘twas indeed a dead cat bounce
[+7] u/n1ck90z: bears think futures are real
[+7] u/xavras_wyzryn: I see no news, but something must have happened, oil up 5%
[+7] u/Impossible-Fun2027: Why do you think it will be green tomorrow? Futes down
[+7] u/hadizadam: Bottlenecks are very underrated
[+6] u/-TrueFacts-: Working on my Masters in Eschatology (end of the world shit) in order to better invest
[+6] u/broke_person: Another 1% day tomorrow I take it
[+6] u/Impossible-Fun2027: I like me some straight of hummus
[+6] u/brainlet99094: ffs it's so annoying trying to find an actual source on this tanker headline, I only see random ass accounts with images of different tankers on fire on this crappy everything app.
[+6] u/NlNJANEER: Stop watching American news. It’s prime time coverage on middle eastern news outlets
[+6] u/Mediocre-Gas-3831: Strait's closed 👳🏿♂️
[+6] u/BlatantPlatitude: Pee is stored in the balls
[+6] u/Ceyenne18: war over? just asking for a friend.
[+6] u/Impossible-Fun2027: My calls, bruh! Am i fucked tomorrow?
[+5] u/LongCucumber3710: How much cash are we holding here?
I’m 86 percent 😎
Of the $200 left in my portfolio 🚀
[+5] u/DMT1703: Might just throw more money into the Norwegians stock market.
Reason ?
I'm bored.
[+5] u/UrOpinionIsBadBuddy: When are they going to make cars that run with leftover fry oil from hunan palace
[+5] u/iGotStuckIn: The mods put butt plugs up their ass before reading these posts.
[+5] u/NotEasyOne_Regard: >Many bers,
>Many, many, many, many bers
>Wish death 'pon my port
>Market, I don't cry no more
>Don't look to the red no more
>Have green on me
>Have green on my port
>Somewhere my heart turned bol
>Have green on many bols.
>Many, many, many, many bers
>Wish red upon my port.
[+5] u/eoiioe: Iran military really don’t give a fk, latest; touch our energy infrastructure and we will blitz all of Middle East’s lol, oil 140 isn’t a dream
[+12] u/NaiveMercury: I am **naked and afraid**
[+10] u/Fernyfern7: Don't cry because it's over cry because it happened
[+10] u/EarlyPattern6315: No return since half a year
SO MUCH WINNING
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
[+9] u/BigToadEats: I swear these oil bulls be cooking with it and saying it’s healthy
[+9] u/r4rLIC: Typical upside down shit
[+8] u/Potential_Version_34: Hahahhaha trump no friends
[+8] u/Potential_Version_34: How much longer we thinking?
Two weeks and I reckon we get mandatory work from home
[+8] u/Ancient_Let7878: Can’t wait for it to pump all night just to dump at casino open
[+8] u/lemuever17: Everything is bullish
[+7] u/sonofalando: Normalize exorcisms.
[+6] u/Melonskal: > oil & gas infra in Gulf will be gone within 1-2 weeks.
How is it even possible to be this regarded?
[+6] u/InIce1234: Looks like another great day for Bull.
[+6] u/BioRam: it's St. Paddys day so it has to be green right???
[+6] u/maximuminimum: Tomorrow, bread/dough (whatever the kids are calling it these days) will rise 📈
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS BATTER
[+5] u/BeepBoopDep: MASSIVE DIP TO PRICES NOT SEEN SINCE... noon of today 😂the way these bears celebrating, you'd think we're down 2%+.
[+5] u/nebuloushazybull: The small things in life are so fucking great. Just like this big ass $25 fan Lasko from Walmart. Thank you for this cool fresh air over this shitty east coast humidity in March. Thank you God!
[+5] u/AcademicStandard3701: Oof overnight calls was not it 😓😢
[+5] u/TarrifJacksonJr: NASA
+
Semiconductors
=
Toothpaste
[+5] u/sonofalando: US going to blow our national account shorting oil futures aren’t they? 🤡💀
[+5] u/Potential_Version_34: Imagine if we had just listened to the hippies and made solar panels
The crazy bastards were right
[+5] u/wattap: smells like bear cooter in here
[+5] u/Delicious-Winner-290: Crypto is mooning - why
[+17] u/Deadweight047: Iran got 8% of missiles and drones left said a man who claims drugs price is going down by 1500%
[+14] u/Gombrongler: Mark my words Turnp can plug his ears and go "lalalala i cant hear you" when asked about the war and markets would RIP
[+11] u/Kattilaeikka: It's pretty wild that the relations between Europe and the US are practically dead. Some european countries are openly rejecting the US and the rest are doing it behind the curtain. What an accomplishment from 🥭.
[+11] u/BugStock: 🥭 has announced Chairman Powell will be taking on a new role as the Supreme Leader of Iran so that he can “fix the mess he got us into”, whatever that means
[+10] u/KingRegardothe2nd: Amerifats waking up right now to go eat some cakebread
[+10] u/BerryExpress: stop right there criminal scum
[+9] u/Les7X: I want to short oil leveraged to the tits so much, but I'm too much of a pussy to do it. It's basically a memecoin rn
[+9] u/ThePooracle: generational top
its over
[+9] u/Whatevs56: Weak futes. Looking like a blood red day.
[+9] u/BugStock: Can someone program an AI with low intelligence to make trades and feel pain when those trades don’t work out? That way if ai gets out of hand we could feed it that memory so it will off itself
[+8] u/Les7X: Other countries won't talk to the master dealer because he's too good at it. They know he's going to out-deal them. That's why he's tired of winning. Suffering from success
[+8] u/BugStock: Iran? Brotha I can’t even walk
[+8] u/Les7X: Spy new range will be 650-670 and you will be happy with it. Remember to say thank you
[+8] u/ExoticDaikon1872: bols in shambles after a dead cat bounce
[+8] u/ManyHead6662: You are all just figments of my imagination
[+8] u/ReftLight: Bulls, bears, pigs get slaughtered, but kangaroos make money.
[+7] u/JernauG: My move is to hold my red positions and hope
[+7] u/AusConsoleGamesLFG: Desk job working from home post age 30 and I feel like I'm 80, bones cracking non stop, pain. I gotta work out and do yoga or something
[+7] u/BaxterrStockman: “St. Patrick’s Day has historically been a strong day for the U.S. stock market, often ranking as one of the best-performing days of the year. The S&P 500 has risen on March 17 about 80% of the time over the past 20 years, with an average gain of 0.72%…”
Tl:dr bers r fuk
[+7] u/tringitdad: You are all NPC in my storyline
[+7] u/After_Working_6499: I love how retarded the market is
[+6] u/SeaCapital7937: Who's ready to work at Wendy's?
[+6] u/i_simp_f: Human beings are ragebait and I'm so tired of them
[+6] u/Thin-Distribution255: Bloody kangaroo market mate
[+6] u/Realistic_Wrap_9767: Hey, no lie. I might be cooked
[+6] u/Jaded_Bowl4821: I live in Taiwan. China literally does not want to take over. The reason they talk about it all the time is because of a thing called "face".
[+5] u/lysergalien: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+5] u/Own-Kaleidoscope-731: no china taiwan still? im ready to go all in in nvda puts if that happen
[+5] u/Free-Cardiologist805: Not worried no actual reason for oil to go down rn the physical barrels of oil are already trading for 150$ the paper is just affected by manipulation they can’t keep prices down forever while the Strait is closed
[+5] u/An_Unusual_Mind: We may not have boots on the ground in Iran but we can boots on the ground in the Dow Jones! 50000 today it is!
[+5] u/Les7X: It's only the 12446th comment like this, keep it going
[+5] u/ElTorteTooga: 6700 iron butterfly worked out
[+23] u/Pitiful-Ad769: Dumb men create dumb times
[+21] u/Inner_View1095: Operation epic fuck up
[+17] u/snspro: BESSENT WOKE UP READY TO SHORT SOME OIL
[+16] u/TrollerCoasterWoo: Tbf, nobody could’ve predicted that Iran would get upset and use the one piece of leverage they have after their great leader shook hands with a tomahawk
[+15] u/Ry0ikiTenkaii: Oil prices being suppressed like crazy rn
[+13] u/Superente_: If the entire World going to shit is not going to lead to a correction. What will?
Spy 710 eom.
[+11] u/Buddha988: Mods asleep, post paper trade results
[+10] u/Chemical-Coconut-203: Bessent, you coward.
[+10] u/Fancy_Goat685: Bulls really be circle jerking over SPY 668.... How far they've fallen...
[+10] u/Axwe8: ####**WAR** **ENDING** THIS WEEK 🚀 🚀 🚀
#>!After it ended last week 🤡!<
[+9] u/akunisg: we suffer more in imagination than reality
[+9] u/hubblebubble7: Market in coma until strait opens 🥱😴😒
[+9] u/a_human_21: calls on deepfake AI generate Netanyahu clips
[+8] u/A55BAG: 🥭 delaying his China trip for a month. He cannot face Xi unless his armies are victorious on the battlefield.
I think we'll see some capitulation on stocks if oil is above 100$ still in April.
[+8] u/SouthNice7324: consistency is not his strong point
[+7] u/PanamaCanelOwner: Idk what dubais gonna do because their billionare utopia thing is over now no billionare wants to live there I bet.
[+7] u/Play_Background: I'm starting to believe this new supreme leader is Admiral General Haffaz Aladeen
[+6] u/Distinguished_Trader: China is going to invade taiwan, mark my words
[+6] u/AGigatonicxs: Today we gonne pump to 680
[+6] u/Rvin16: Don’t forget to get some gains at the gym. I can hear the breathing on some of these comments
[+6] u/dkrich: There is a furu, I shit you not, that openly admits he is broke and so has to start charging for a substack and can no longer provide his technical analysis for free and somehow doesn’t see the irony.
[+6] u/Rectal_Retribution: Tomorrow: *World peace achieved, oil skyrockets to $150*
Might as well, nothing makes sense anymore.
[+5] u/Divyansh881: Is this a aladeen news or a aladeen news
[+5] u/rollinhating: why cant Tesla just drill to the core?...
[+5] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: Remember Smile Direct Club? That was peak WSB
[+5] u/stringtheory28: [ O O ] SpongeBob
/ 0 0 \ Patrick
( o o ) Squidward
| 0 | Plankton
[+5] u/Quiet_Deer_4887: I’m just too rational for rationality.