▶ Full Post Text
[+169] u/Mikos_Enduro: Carnival has announced it will send a dozen cruise ships loaded with WSB members as cannon fodder into the straight of hormuz
[+160] u/OSRSkarma: Bro u/agitatedjump8459 you are averaging 2.2 comments a minute
Can you put the coke down or something
[+94] u/financiallythriving: Imagine waking up and getting ready to commute to a job you hate
[+82] u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister: UAE oil terminal got hit again, the retard put out some lie that there will be a coalition to escort tankers, every other country said fuck no, the retard says he's talking to Tehran, Tehran said it does not want a truce.
And oil stable around where it was on Friday? This market is in denial and/or regarded
[+64] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: I wish I had a flair irl that says I’m a cunt
[+62] u/Spezalt4: Start Revenge trading. You CAN make it all back
[+61] u/zeren1ty: We’ve now entered the stage of the circus where the US government are actively shorting commodities and admitting it
🤡
[+55] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: Your daily reminder thay you matter. Even if all stocks are red and you think about the #rope or the #toasterbath - don't. Make it a mission to outlive those geriatric dictators!
[+54] u/Beneficial-Sail-6139: When others are fearful I’m very fearful
[+53] u/SoloOutdoor: Energy secretary says plenty of us oil. So is that why gas jumped 80 cents in a week and we needed other countries to open reserves? Asking for a friend.
[+44] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: it’s March 16th. traffic through hormuz has gone from 136 ships per day to 2. forced majeure declared across the region due to strikes, retaliation, escalation, no transport. this has been the case for about 20 days. but hey, the dow is up!
[+44] u/31andnotdone: Another day of suffering. Blessed.
[+41] u/TrickyDickCheney: Bers in shambles as my calls went from -65% to -50%
[+41] u/pussinbuuts: the reason for this pump is because there is absolutely no reason for this pump
[+40] u/jlw993: Another green Monday followed by a red week?
[+39] u/TampaBaySlay: Welcome to the United Straights of WhoreMoon! 🚀 🤑
🌕🌕🌕🌕🌕🎩🌕🌕
🌕🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑🌒🌕
🌕🌕🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌓
🌕🌕🌖🌑👁🌑👁🌓
🌕🌕🌗🌑🌑👄🌑🌔
🌕🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌒🌕
🌕🌕🌘🌑🌑🌑🌓🌕
🌕🌕🍑🌑🌑🌑🌔🌕
🌕🌕🌘🌔🍆🌑🌕🌕
🌕🌖🌒🌕🌗🌒🌕🌕
🌕🌗🌓🌕🌗🌓🌕🌕
🌕🌘🌔🌕🌗🌓🌕🌕
🌕👠🌕🌕🌕👠🌕🌕
[+37] u/borkdpasito: This might be the single most regarded day of trading since the tariffs
How the fuck is a barrel of oil $5 cheaper than last Friday
[+34] u/ModernR3volution: Canada announced big defense spending on drones over the weekend. ZENA going to rock
[+32] u/Dull_Broccoli1637: Lmao so desperate we're begging China for help.
My brother in Christ, it's in their best interest to let the US suffer
[+30] u/rygypi: BERS! BEGIN FORMATION!
[+29] u/elephantsaregray: That was like a Churchill wartime speech. Just absolute class. I feel inspired to work harder today to support the war effort.
[+28] u/puffinnbluffin: You know we’re getting rugged at open right
[+28] u/Ok-Piano8789: not even joking today might be the most retarded u guys have ever been
[+27] u/tugrulthelol: 2 words ladies and gentlemen: Priced in.
[+27] u/xzbobzx: "gold is an inflation hedge"
cnbc: "Gold falls as inflation fears pressure Fed rate-cut outlook"
👏👏👏
[+27] u/PocaMadre69: BREAKING: Markets up on hopes and dreams
[+27] u/nolanjp: Didn't realise Iran war already ended
[+26] u/Independent-Visit139: “That wasn’t public information but okay” LMAO
[+26] u/Far-Requirement9180: The markets acting like great news just surfaced lmaooooooooooooo
[+25] u/L2F_mens_glutes: #guess we going to Cuba soon for vacation
[+25] u/ajibtunes: JUST IN: UK rejects helping out keeping Hormuz open
[+25] u/Street-Badger: Guys, it’s premarket. Do you celebrate your precum?
[+25] u/Antiwhippy: >\-markets gaping up on Trump saying he's making a coalition to open up the straits
>\-said coalition (UK, France, Korea, Japan, Australia and China) all told him to kick rocks
The markets: "and I decided to ignore that"
[+25] u/Motley843: Hey guys.. Im not trying to freak anyone out but Im starting to think our goberment dosent really know what its doing with this whole Iran thing. Im off to do some research
[+25] u/financiallythriving: Imagine not waking up with love and joy
[+25] u/youreaditfirst: We are letting IRAN deliver their oil lmao. What a weird war
[+24] u/jasperCrow: Thank God the straight of Hormuz is open again and the war is over now.
[+24] u/Muted-South4737: USO red? Is there trouble in Oil Town?
[+24] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: This rug is about to be biblical (I have have no basis for this claim I simply have 0DTE puts and need this shit to tank)
[+24] u/cow_grass: I sense a very huge dump somewhere up ahead
[+24] u/McKoijion: > U.S. is allowing Iranian oil tankers through Strait of Hormuz, says Bessent
LMAO
[+24] u/vandammes: THE ONLY SAFE HAVEN NOW DURING WAR IS NBIS LMFAO
[+23] u/OsamaBagHolding: 🇺🇲: Greatest military in the world!!!
🥭: pwease help us NATO 👉👈
[+23] u/TomatoSpecialist6879: Holy shit he is such a fucking retard
[+23] u/JesusBoughtPuts: Trump: "They're pounding the Straights"
Damn you ghey bears
[+23] u/BEAR_STEARNS_CEO: That 6 month chart on SPY is fucking disgusting
[+22] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: I just come here sometimes and post absolute bullshit - your welcome
[+22] u/Bam2458: The war is over, but just beginning.
The strait is open, but also closed.
There are no mines in the strait, but also maybe.
I predicted 9/11.
[+22] u/Inevitable_Gainz: #**Thank god I set aside 1 hour of my life to listen to this high value information from our commander in queef**
[+22] u/weewoowewoooo: Crazy how the announcement of those bullshit tariffs last year caused a bigger drop than actual war happening lmfao
[+21] u/Butter_Ball22: im out. just deleted the app. 2nd mortgage was approved last week and i can't do this shit any longer. its gonna be a long road back, surprisingly I have even more to lose than just money. Good luck regards.
[+21] u/Bichael-Murry: opperation 'epic rug' underway
[+21] u/NotEasyOne_Regard: Many bers
Many, many, many, many bers,
Wish death ‘pon my port
Market, I cry no more
Don’t look the the red no more
Green have mercy on me.
Many bers
Many, many, many, many bers.
[+21] u/DonDiabloTheGreat: So no country is coming to 🥭’s aid in escorting ships through the Strait of Hormuz.
After 🥭 gifted them with tariffs, this is how they repay him? Selfish! 😤
[+21] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: red by close and I eat a piece of my shit
[+20] u/Any-Background2739: cant wait for the 663 puts i bought friday at close to open worthelss
[+20] u/snspro: PREMARKET LOOKS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE
[+20] u/mangofruitdude: If you are not vibe trading in this market you lose, better be vibe trading
[+20] u/blackldnbrit: Its done.
https://preview.redd.it/399b5thp3fpg1.jpeg?width=1000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2dfadddd3f6e2380a2de006a8dbfff199f4e08c8
[+20] u/31andnotdone: impeach him by his pussy neck
[+20] u/Gom_KBull: # Everybody really saying
# "fuck your little coalition, im gonna work a deal with Iran."
# LMAO
[+20] u/Jesoo_: orange fucker just took 20% off my fucking calls
[+20] u/I_work_too_much: Everyone ever really sit down and realize we pay a fucking comical amount of taxes for what we get. If I spent half my fucking income on some supposed services I wanted to have and said services just basically gave me the finger and said lol I would burn that shit to the ground. But here we all are, taking it up the ass on regular basis from various .gov and remaining relatively complacent.
Maybe I'm just grumpy today.
[+20] u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister: Bulls this, bears that, we should unite against the real enemies, retarded leaders, hedgies and the cursed trading algos!
[+20] u/Big-Quote4483: oh shit s&p 500 futures up .91% almost a percent MSFT should be up 2% at least after crashing 30%.
let me check. oh no, the piece of shit is up not even .5% fuck you MSFT I FUCKING HATE YOU YOUR SUCH FUCKING SHIT
[+20] u/brute-forced: Japan, Australia, and Germany have all said fuck your plans for protecting the straight. Do it yourself… This dude is a complete failure on all levels personally and professionally.
[+20] u/brute-forced: Secretary Scott Bessent looks and sounds like a complete moron. Jim Kramer is calling him out as well… Can you imagine getting called out by Jim as being a moron?
[+20] u/Background-Log9703: My puts literally lost 75 percent of their value I’m literally ripping my hair out I’m gonna cry
[+20] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Im starting to think this mango fella isnt the stable genius he told he was.
[+19] u/Overall-Fold-9720: As the strongest military in the world, with unparalleled power and superiority, we need a coalition and the help of other countries, to escort ships through a strait that's not closed, to protect them from an a country we destroyed, in a war we already won
That's pretty simple
[+19] u/TomatoSpecialist6879: This retard is fucking retarded
[+19] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: Remember the 5 rules of being a good trader:
1) Be emotional
2) There is only one side to the options contract that matters, and that is BUY
3) No stop losses
4) Ber is fuk
5) If you hold your calls long enough, they will eventually come back up 👌
[+19] u/TomatoSpecialist6879: It's actually a hella impressive feat that he's consistently saying the dumbest shit every time he opens his mouth lmao
[+19] u/Eric142: 🥭 is the guy who says "well I wasn't even trying" when he loses
[+19] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: **Dubai Crude Oil trading at $127.86/barrel.** everywhere else is comprable except US Crude, where we manipulate our markets.
[+19] u/Horror_Yam_9078: BREAKING: I'm going on my lunch break.
[+18] u/Country_Gravy420: That's it. I'm buying calls at the top
[+18] u/GoZukkYourself: https://preview.redd.it/qeflsuuzhgpg1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1b1687d440455e8690f862a91109a3dc1d670a91
[+18] u/tikimandude: wait so is the whole point about this war now to just get the straight open?? What happened to nuclear program, regime change, helping protestors, or stopping terrorism funding in the region? Seriously what is going on in Mangolini's head?
[+18] u/soad1331: Soon, the market will remember that whole strait thing
[+18] u/civillyRange: Oil futures $94 a barrel
yeah bro the wars over and everything's cheap and we're all making so much money
Im so tired of winning
[+18] u/Walking72: To date, no nations have committed to sending ships to bail out Trump in hormuz.
0
[+18] u/RockasaurusRex: The lowest score possible on an IQ test isn't a number, it's just the 🥭 emoji.
[+18] u/fundhdjdjksjs: No one is an atheist at full port
[+18] u/rollinhating: this shit will dump before eod
[+18] u/Axwe8: #MY SPY CALLS NOOOO (I BOUGHT AT THE TOP) 🤡
[+18] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: Did NVDA just single-handedly rip the entire market up .2%???
[+18] u/Afraid_Contest_6769: BREAKING NEWS: Bessent states less than $80 a barrel in a month
[+17] u/financiallythriving: Imagine pursuing option trading as a way to secure financial freedom but instead it sets you back financially for years to come
[+17] u/hv876: Bloomberg headline: 🥭 demands Hormuz help
Translation: this Pump ain’t lasting
[+17] u/Muted-South4737: It's possible we are in a fraudulent system
[+17] u/Nefarious_Villan: So I guess the weekend playbook goes like this:
No bad news and SPY opens up +1%
Bad News and SPY opens -1% then gets bought up all day and ends near flat.
Got it.
[+17] u/---Right--Tackle---: #Bruh this action is ass
[+17] u/Colloquial: wow bols, your leader is quite the orator
[+17] u/Gom_KBull: "he GONA BE DED LMAO"
"well ok that wasnt public but sure"
[+17] u/Gom_KBull: # DAY 16 OF THE QUICK LITTLE EXCURSION
[+17] u/retard_trader: At this point I'm just gonna wake up every morning and buy $40 worth of SPY fd calls and fd puts and wait til one direction hits a 1000% gainer.
[+17] u/31andnotdone: here for the pounding
[+17] u/zeusbox: I swear some of you regards use this sub as your personal diary.
[+16] u/penelope5674: Too bullish in here. Sold everything just now
[+16] u/Mysterious_Ad6637: Bro 🥭 is like a child
[+16] u/Certifieddddd: Elon fucking ruined twitter. It’s just ai slop and bots replying to each other at this point. I can’t believe it became worse than Reddit
[+16] u/FullCopy: - 🥭: I’m calling on all my allies to help.
- Allies: Best we can do is open some puts.
[+16] u/EnginrA: Why in the world are we pumping
[+16] u/enc-nyc: "If you don't know your strategy, enemy doesn't know your strategy." - Man Go Tzu, the Art of War.
[+16] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #is this happening bc women have rights????
[+16] u/Reasonable_Roger: ngl Mango out there lookin bad
[+16] u/dqdg: new record for me: I listened for 18 seconds
[+16] u/Ok-Thought-9960: Lmao we are so fucked
[+16] u/2AMTrader: What a failure of democracy
[+16] u/AegonTheMeh: lol Bloomberg cut him off
[+16] u/HonestScar7176: This is your leadership. We should be down 900% just listening to this.
[+16] u/TechnologyEven6926: I’m done. Officially
[+16] u/Alimakakos: Shit I almost forgot about Dre
Oh and Epstein...man this war is distracting
[+16] u/Unique_Zucchini1041: It’s literally only pumping to fuck your puts, once u sell your puts it will dump again lol
[+16] u/astromouse2024: Loading puts here, I don’t trust this pump one bit
[+16] u/Vihurah: there was a concept of a press conference
[+16] u/2020isgreat: we actually pumped on him saying oil will go down after the war that's kinda hilarious ngl
[+16] u/rocier: rofl, just watched a new report saying the new leader of Iran was called too dumb by his dad to take over. Now they're calling him gay. rofl
[+16] u/Cautious_Talk_1991: 🥭: they want to surrender
Also 🥭 in the same speech: we don't even know who we're talking to.
[+15] u/confused_teabagger: Just so I have my facts straight:
$95 a barrel for oil = Just Right!
$100 a barrel for oil = THE WORLD IS GOING TO DIE!!!@!
Is that right? Asking for a friend
[+15] u/PocaMadre69: “Why are we dumping”
Because we should’ve never been up to begin with young grasshopper
[+15] u/Soffatjockis: Still no ships passing through the strait according to this tracker
https://hormuzstraitmonitor.com/
Yeah, this pump is fake and very ghey
[+15] u/SpeakerImaginary9796: Cramer says we gotta buy stocks right now so puts it is
[+15] u/Reasonable_Roger: Mango with a pair of two's trying to bluff a persian full house
[+15] u/Colloquial: Holy shit this is regarded
[+15] u/Internal_Field5970: Bro is this real life
[+15] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: What is happening right now…
[+15] u/LongroddMcHugendong: I’m starting to get the sense that this retard has no fucking clue what’s going on or what he’s doing
[+15] u/rcantu314: Didn’t know dead cats could bounce this high
[+15] u/guzzledglizzy: Gonna stop trading and start looking at Japanese girls’ nipples for the rest of the day
[+15] u/31andnotdone: not offering names of countries that will be helping
because there are none. 🫣
[+15] u/Internal_Field5970: Why is Pam Bondi and Mike Johnson there?
Turning this shit off
Short America
[+15] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Bro celebrating dude coming to work when doc told him he is dead in a couple months.
Brah what the actual fuck going on?
[+15] u/Axwe8: #HIPAA VIOLATION LIVE ON TV 🤡 🤡 🤡
[+15] u/Bravadette: What the fuck is happening? He sounds like Biden
[+15] u/ajibtunes: Market is as confused as 🥭
[+15] u/Vihurah: "THEY FOUGHT BACK"
NO FUCKING SHIT OH MY GOD KILL ME
money is a scam, just crack a beer and watch the ports burn
[+15] u/Internal_Field5970: Millennials are like Frodo and Sam needing to save the earth from Sauron (boomers) and try not to get sucked into the corruption.
They have a little help from some Gen X (Aragorn and Gimli Boromir)
There are a couple helpful boomers (Gandalf and Legolas)
And they have semi useless and retarded Gen Z (pippin)
[+15] u/Gom_KBull: # Hey NATO,
# i know I tariffed the shit out of you in April 2025
# and threatened you all in Davos
# But we still cool right? You gonna help me right? Right?
# 〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜
^(KEEN TOCKY)
[+15] u/Then_Tomorrow_9334: So the market is rallying bc Iran is letting Chinese ships through the Strait? lol, the fucking irony..
[+15] u/ThatOneRedditBro: JUST IN: Trump reiterates war will end "soon"
Press conference in a little over a hour.
Here is your NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO BUY STOCKS tweet youre likely ignoring
[+15] u/LongjumpingTap1201: Let me get this straight….Spy is up a whole percent because….there was just nothing new over the weekend? 🤣
[+15] u/Marshmallowmind2: There won’t be a second date but at least she now knows why the Strait of Hormuz is a major choke point for global oil supply and what options she should buy
[+15] u/CompleteChemical4198: bruh who the fuck is buying this shit? am i the only one seeing headlines saying that US allies have no interest in helping in Iran and that Israel plans for 3 more weeks of strikes? the entire market at this point is a complete joke
[+15] u/Few-Frosting-4213: Market flipping between "end of the war" and "end of the world" every other day.
[+15] u/WallofNarwhal: He is SO LATE to everything. No wonder we’re losing this war
[+15] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Damn, all this is Biden's fault? I knew it
[+15] u/jpric155: Just imagining AI bots and traders trying to interprit this gibberish.
[+15] u/ripcord51: i'm starting to think this guy my not be too bright.
[+15] u/throwawayanon1252: Trump threatening NATO again. At this point we need to call his bluff cos he will chicken out as always and then he’s done and markets can be driven by fundamentals again. Come on Europe
[+15] u/CalligrapherSenior52: There are literally 0 ships crossing the strait rn and this shit is pumping
[+15] u/Outlawdammit430: That is might embarrassing for the USA ha
Not a single country will assist nor wants anything to do with the USA’s “mission”
Shows you how far the USA has fell
[+14] u/Zipsterino: They’re blocking the gays, they’re blocking the straits.
[+14] u/not-irresponsible: Green today, Red tomorrow. I’m familiar with the market
[+14] u/ThatOneRedditBro: Don't long puts. You get in and out like seal team 6.
[+14] u/mechajlaw: This entire war has been the stupidest thing I've seen in a long time.
[+14] u/gooneral_MC: oil down because VIX found massive new reserves while drilling.
[+14] u/Lapidated_Llama: From -1.2k to brekaven on full ported calls. I need to take a step back and evaluate my gambling problem strongly.
[+14] u/Axwe8: # GUH I BOUGHT CALLS AT THE TOP 🤡
[+14] u/Gom_KBull: # Why are all the other countries being so salty?
All 🥭 did was tariff the shit out of them and threaten them a few times.
# ╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭
^(KEEN TOCKY)
[+14] u/WSB-mods-are-: I don't care if the cook is wearing black gloves and has gauges, I'm not paying $18 for a skinny ass smashburger
[+14] u/_3470: i managed to get back to $0 after being down $2000 so i call that a win
[+14] u/Best_Sherbert_9481: Made 500 today, now I’m only down 60% for the last 3 months :D
[+14] u/ScioX: I’m so fucking cooked bro I bought a call instead of a put, I probably shouldn’t be trading while teaching
[+14] u/dablackpantha: WTF is he saying im fucking dying rn
[+14] u/G0RD0N_CLARK: He predicted 9/11 ... and did nothing about it.
[+14] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: Oh my God not the ballroom again
[+14] u/DickiesDippinDicks: Expensive white paint…. Powerful paint
Oh my fucking god
[+14] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: This guy will go down in history as the biggest clown to run a super power. Just rambling.
[+14] u/WalrusHonda: lol this conference is weird af
[+14] u/givemethestars000: "Death is very bad. Tremendously bad. Death is not good."
[+14] u/browsk: HIPAA doesn’t matter lmao
[+14] u/Internal_Field5970: Bro we are devastating the Middle East and we’re talking about marble seats and Shakespeare
[+14] u/LasyKuuga: >We don’t need them
Me when I talk about her
[+14] u/Equivalent-Train-906: Did he place a Polymarket bet or something on O/U # of times he says "pounding"?
[+14] u/PretendAgency2702: Remember crash bandicoot?
[+14] u/gkdjsl: Bull trap so obvious it comes with a fucking neon sign
[+14] u/Scared-Army313: least fraudelent pump
[+14] u/YNeverWAlone: Thank you 20% of meta employees for losing your livelihood so i can make some money on my meta call debit spreads. This is what capitalism is all about.
[+14] u/svpa3991: “Mommy mommy, why are we so poor?”
“Well you see, your dad went all in 3/27 SPY 680C”
“Holy shit that’s regarded”
[+14] u/Moepenmoes: My therapist told me to look into the other person's eyes more often during a conversation instead of looking away. So I've started doing it, but now the other people are starting to look away instead. Am I doing something wrong?
Also bullish on $MSFT just to keep this comment relevant
[+14] u/Soffatjockis: LONDON JUST NOW
London Metal exchange halted all trades.
Metal bears in shambles
[+14] u/Thisispaartaaa: Here you go...he's going to go after allies right now....
[+14] u/BabyGrogu69: This must be a SNL skit
[+14] u/TraipseTraveller: Working 40+ hours a week to be too tired to do anything on the weekend to start all over again on Monday is the biggest scam in life
[+14] u/trumpdiego: they're going to use a nuclear weapon?!?!
[+13] u/Externox: Micron technology 🚀📈💰💫
[+13] u/orsomeshitidk: It’s a good thing there are no structural problems with the American economy outside of the oil crisis 🤡
[+13] u/elvee61: 8 minutes. You know the drill. Piss, coffee, butt in seat by 9:28.
[+13] u/DingleJingle_: Did Iran surrender unconditionally or some shit?
[+13] u/Zfreezy: Oh Danny boy the pipes the pipes are calling
[+13] u/The_Judgement_Nut: What the fuck is he talking about
[+13] u/AltMotive3: Fuck u Pam Bondi. Reminds me of my witchy aunt
[+13] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: I still can't believe people actually chose this and thought it was a great idea
[+13] u/sloanemonroe: The pres of the United States is talking during wartime and CNBC and Bloomberg don’t even have him on. That tells you everything you need to know.
[+13] u/astrawberryandakiwi: “The US supports a ground invasion of Lebanon”
You can’t make this up
[+13] u/Beneficial-Sail-6139: Open that goddamn bitch I want to see how much Nebius money I missed on by selling half my shares early
[+13] u/SuspiciousStable9649: 🥭 man is doing a slow TACO on Iran. 1. ‘We need help.’ 2. ‘Maybe we shouldn’t be there.’ 3. Iran ships okay to travel. 4. China/India ships okay to travel.
It’s like ‘we made a mess but we’re kind of done now.’
[+13] u/patmccock86: If Bessent says they haven't intervened, they've intervened more than we thought they were. Short everything he's trying
[+13] u/LasyKuuga: # HOLD YOUR CALLS.
They expect one of us in the wreckage, brother
[+13] u/cannythecat: Why does market believe 🥭 at market open and then take a few hours to realize he might be lying
[+13] u/Extension-Ad917: Fuck I love cutting winners to early and letting losers run
[+13] u/Pluth: All politics aside, I'm just tired of hearing his name and seeing him all the time for the past 10 years. Can't we talk about someone else?
[+13] u/catfromgarfield: trump: "yea I predicted 9/11"
[+13] u/LongroddMcHugendong: 38% of this country deadass listens to this retard and thinks “yeah… yeah that’s what a macho genius sounds like”
[+13] u/AegonTheMeh: Omg he’s still going on about the fucking ballroom
You are in a war man holy
[+13] u/Gom_KBull: Why the fuck are you all watching this stream?
# Like... just go to the park and sit down next to an old man.
Same results
[+13] u/potentialPast: "they should, but they aren't. i want them to, even though i don't need them to. i don't need them, but they need to do this, even if they don't think they do. they absolutely must do this or it will be a disaster. not that i care if they do it, because we don't need them at all"
[+13] u/browsk: When you see in the YouTube chat “he didn’t say America first so I lost my bet” 💀💀💀 this country is going to be cooked by gambling
[+13] u/Gom_KBull: # EMERGENCY DIAPER CHANGE, CUT THE FEED
[+13] u/Nice-Difference8641: Bulls doing “I declare the strait open” is a funny bit
[+13] u/pussinbuuts: Orange man didn’t help with the pump
Now it’s up to leather jacket man
[+13] u/NotMe357: "TACO has said Fed Chair Jay Powell should have a special meeting to cut interest rates."
This guy go around begging everyone for help now lol
[+13] u/AlarmedPelican: jensen said fuck your calls LMAO
[+13] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #'TACO Says U.S. Doesn't Need Any Country's Help With Hormuz' - WSJ
then why are you asking stupid motherfucker lmao
[+13] u/ThrowRA-KB: HOLY PUMP FAKE NVDA LMAOOO
WER MY BERS AT
[+13] u/hermeskino715: NVDA can make 100 gazillion dollars and it will still sell-off lmao
[+13] u/WSB-mods-are-: Jensen: "and for my next trick.......I'm going to pull 1 trillion dollars out of my ass."
[+13] u/meforprezz: hoping to make enough today for new crocs.
[+13] u/nolanjp: every alternate hour:
bolls: aha ber r fuk
bers: boll r ded
[+13] u/financiallythriving: Imagine being born early enough to witness a technological revolution but too early to miss out on true AI and interstellar space travel
[+13] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Breaking news: 🥭 is sending RAMPAGE and Jake Paul to take over and claim Kharg island TONiGhT
[+13] u/Far-Requirement9180: Not a single positive setting or outcome. But the markets pumping lmaoooooooooo
[+13] u/Lapidated_Llama: I currently have 3.2k credit card debt and 500 in my savings and I’m gambling 7.2k on weekly calls. King regard.
[+13] u/AegonTheMeh: Holy shit man this guy clearly gets his news from twitter
He might legit not have any real advisors telling him stuff
[+13] u/Civil_Cheesecake2492: People live in Ukraine and Lebanon. The end
[+13] u/Otherwise-Ad6670: 🌮 man started going off script hard and they had to cut White House feed
[+13] u/G0RD0N_CLARK: HOLY SHIT ... The POTUS is actively violating HIPAA in real time at a press conference.
[+13] u/Scarfaceb1tch: You were going to do that anyway
[+12] u/Quick1711: Shit gonna sink like a rock at open
[+12] u/Jpm907821: Oil is definitely ripping at some point this week. Just need one little thing to happen
[+12] u/Lapidated_Llama: Risked 7.2k in capital just to get 22 dollars.
[+12] u/_3470: i’m a greedy fuckin pig why didn’t i sell when i was in the green
[+12] u/Unhappy_Hedgehog_808: Trump about to beg on national TV now for other countries to send ships to clean up the mess he created. Bullish.
[+12] u/iFiredIce: Mango and team placing sell orders now
[+12] u/Panacamana: get him off the stage
[+12] u/icein2017: Who tf cares about the ballroom lol
[+12] u/Skylake1987: HOW CAN SOMEONE THIS DUMB BE PRESIDENT....wow i'm easy to ragebait
[+12] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: This has to be the US treasury shorting the futures market I don’t see how anyone can think this strait issue is going to be solved by this week lol
[+12] u/WattMotorCompany: Fellas, is 1/3 UAE oil production and 1/2 Kuwait oil production bullish and priced in
[+12] u/ILoveWesternCenter: NBIS is the market 🫡
[+12] u/rooftop_druid: Long term bearish dudes’ default position is hoping something fails and loses value, and then getting mad when it doesn’t and raging in here while coping by imagining more and more extreme ways it can still fail and then cheering and partying over bad news and people getting hurt or losing money.
No thanks
[+12] u/Just_Learned_This: Holy shit. Guess war is over and Jesus came back.
[+12] u/retard_trader: This shit I'm watching cannot be real lol
[+12] u/PapiGoneGamer: Yes Cheeto, keep spewing your idle threats at the countries you’ve been begging day and night for help.
[+12] u/No_Current3675: Nah bro, I'm getting out. Shit's fake AF. I'll buy back later today or some shit.
[+12] u/WSB-mods-are-: This is the dumbest trading day I've seen since Friday
[+12] u/Thedarkpersona: Hey Bols, did you forget that the strait is still closed?
[+12] u/cannythecat: Help me stepbrother im stuck in the hormuz
[+12] u/Aggravating_Sir_4709: Does nothing matter anymore?
[+12] u/CompoteSpecialist618: https://preview.redd.it/fafx3b2ndfpg1.png?width=400&format=png&auto=webp&s=9f1dc81b15bb2b69a98cbe6e44183f3a4dc9e87b
My puts, I'm all puts
[+12] u/Basis_404_: Smells like a bull trap
[+12] u/Basis_404_: We headed back down aren’t we
[+12] u/Independent-Tree-985: Its crazy how a little tiny bump on the spy will send dozens of 'bol trap' 'ber r fuk' messages across the sub.
Like, just zoom out
[+12] u/Spy300: Setup. 8 months ago.
>TRUMP: EVERYONE, KEEP OIL PRICES DOWN. I’M WATCHING! YOU’RE PLAYING RIGHT INTO THE HANDS OF THE ENEMY. DON’T DO IT!
Knock down.
>TRUMP: WHEN OIL PRICES GO UP, WE MAKE A LOT OF MONEY
[+12] u/crossdefaults: Hey bulls. They're building a big ballroom!
[+12] u/wierdjokes: \> You cant go into something and figure out
Motherfucker did more DD on the fucking ballroom than the fucking war
[+12] u/Quick1711: Mike Johnson is like “stfu dude”
[+12] u/thewiggen: God he’s so fucking dumb
[+12] u/Ok-Organization1796: Genuinely how is SPY not in the fucking dirt right now
[+12] u/WarenBoffet: you better believe in bear market ! YOU'RE IN ONE !
[+12] u/Capt_Chickenpox: So emergency oil reserves have been put to use, the strait is closed to any US allies, and the market assumes this has been the worst? IMO Iran can just wait this out to cause the most amount of pain to the US.
[+12] u/ihopethisworksfornow: >Mango meets with Xi
>Mango and Xi have passionate, sweaty, animalistic, butt sex
>Announce China and the U.S. will merge into the United People’s States of Chimerica
>The world enters a new golden age
[+12] u/TechnologyEven6926: Down $16k on my 1DTE SPX puts
[+12] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: That candle was retarded we can all admit
[+12] u/tgff333: Ok Jensen say 1T again, I'm ready this time
[+12] u/Hardbun: The Nvidia daily chart looks like a hospice patient's heart monitor
[+12] u/throwawayanon1252: I love false hope in pre market
[+12] u/jasperCrow: Ok which sucker is going to buy calls at open to get dumped on? Straight of Hormuz still closed af.
[+12] u/borkdpasito: Huge sell orders on oil hammering the price down. How many units has 🥭 got to unload
[+12] u/Appropriate_Ice_7507: I’m gonna buy puts on spy and calls on uso at open. I don’t trust this at all!!
[+12] u/wierdjokes: We are gonna need to bust out the "fell for it again" awards real soon
[+12] u/TechnologyEven6926: Oil prices fall below $97/barrel after the US announces it is allowing Iranian oil to pass through the Strait of Hormuz.
4d chess
[+12] u/Lolsmileyface13: Perhaps puts at open was not the play
[+12] u/borkdpasito: The oil sell off is so fucking fake
[+12] u/Ok-Analysis4121: Cashed out. I know a trap when I see one.
[+12] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: Its over buy everything
[+12] u/socrates4eva: Tornadoes warning. I got to stop trading and take shelter
[+12] u/2lowkey: It turns out the strait is not open for business after absolutely no positive development over the weekend
[+12] u/isitdonethen: Bessent: “we have allowed the moon to orbit the earth”
Stock market: +5%
[+12] u/doc_trades: Short this pig
Oil to $200
[+12] u/Haboubiii: This guy has go to be the worst regard in history holy shit
[+12] u/Aggravating_Sir_4709: "we don't care about HIPAA here!"
[+12] u/Internal_Field5970: Remember when Matt Gaetz was gonna be Pam Bondi
[+12] u/Normal_Tap3021: SPY: What's my purpose?
Burn Theta
[+12] u/DickiesDippinDicks: 🥭: I need their help, but I don’t need their help because they’re pathetic weak counties in Europe. We don’t need them ever, but they should help and we have to have their help, but we don’t need them and we don’t need Oil. But the Oil is important and we need the Oil so they have to help us cuz we need it, but they suck and we don’t want it
Brain is mush
[+12] u/JesusBoughtPuts: "they shot the woman through middle of the forehead, with a sniper" - Trump
Holy fuck this guy has absolutely no filter lmao
[+12] u/Sweg_OG: im feeling highly emotional and impulsive, time for some options trading
[+12] u/bearhunter429: #Dead cat bounces are very common during bear markets. Tomorrow drilling resumes. LMAO🤌
[+12] u/Own-Kaleidoscope-731: as a cs nerd, bro is just spitting buzzwords lol
[+12] u/Neat-Concentrate-239: I've been studying the market for quite a long time (several years) in an attempt to make a few bucks on key pieces of technical analysis. I'm working on an assumption currently that the market tends to move from left to right. I'll let you guys know if I find out more and how to best profit from any associated facts.
[+12] u/Inevitable_Gainz: He seriously said “we don’t need them” buying fucking puts right now
[+11] u/Internal_Field5970: Good morning colleagues
[+11] u/SquirtleStomp: Lmao we started a war with Iran and now 🥭 is demanding that other countries clean up his mess and open the strait for him
[+11] u/Andromeda_0507: Not falling for this shit again
[+11] u/Holeph: lol bols fall for it every. single. time.
[+11] u/sonofalando: We hit it off, had so much in common. She lived near me, and seemed super interested. Then she asked me to subscribe to her onlyfans to continue the conversation 🫣
[+11] u/ComfortablePiglet842: Just bought a 7 day 693 call for $14 lets go baby
[+11] u/Internal_Field5970: Is this real life? This retard talking about ballrooms and dancing? Actually Hunger Games districts shit
[+11] u/Far_Addition1210: Elmo doesn't get enough blame for all this.
[+11] u/soprattutto: Palantir should offer a service that shows you every person that has masturbated to you with a 90%+ probability score.
You know they can do it. Their valuation would be realistic instantly
[+11] u/Urzuck: Mmmm yes all this juicy exit liquidity
[+11] u/TheGeoGod: Fake bounce. Too easy
[+11] u/illicit_FROG: The volume is so uselessly low, the sell off will continue after this short break.
[+11] u/svpa3991: Bols can’t even open the strait of 670
[+11] u/diefy7321: #BERS MAD AGAIN LMAOOO
[+11] u/sam4o19: Lmao just bombed this dudes whole family and now we’re like yo you know what, my bad, just chill it’s not that deep
[+11] u/31andnotdone: buying calls just doesn't feel natural so I'll just take a nap
[+11] u/Arnab_Goswami_RTV: Bers really salty today
[+11] u/cannythecat: Plunge protection team sure spent a lot of money to bounce us over the 200 day moving average twice
[+11] u/hallett21: 660 end of day to fuck everyone
[+11] u/FunctionOk8962: This market is war propaganda
[+11] u/soad1331: You're telling me the strait is still closed and everything is not automatically better?
[+11] u/Rude_Assistance_4386: It's funny everyone calls 🐻s idiots but as soon as SPY drops .2% on a still massively green day I see a whole slew of "Wellp, I'm fucked" comments lmao
[+11] u/2AMTrader: would loose less money buying a boat.
[+11] u/Ok-Bumblebee1526: I see a lot of people writing "bers" and "bols". You all look stupid
[+11] u/lalyt93: I’m so heckin angry at Biden for doing this to us
[+11] u/Eddyrancid: A hush falls over the market as it braces for whatever horrible things the King Regard of America is about to say...
[+11] u/Vegetable_Push6542: Start buying up USO, we need to short squeze the Treasury Department
[+11] u/killainvest: Show yourself if you are holding puts from Friday….
[+11] u/potentialPast: omfg how many times is cnbc gonna trot out a 60+yr old, already successful, rich white dude saying they don't think ai is a problem for jobs if you "act smart about it" or "take agency for yourself"
[+11] u/Gom_KBull: # Oil spot price currently trading at >$144
# Somebody's gonna get ultra fcuked soon.
[+11] u/NotEasyOne_Regard: Many bers, many, many, many, many bers
Wish death 'pon my port
Market, I don't cry no more
Don't look to the red no more
Have green on me
Have green on my port
Somewhere my heart turned bol
Have green on many bols.
Many, many, many, many bers
Wish red upon my port.
[+11] u/Scared-Army313: gap down .40 then dont move for 5minutes is what ended the roman empire
[+11] u/Thisispaartaaa: Brent just went vertical
[+11] u/miata_only: That wasn't an oil tanker in the strait it was just ur mom
[+11] u/Aggravating-Tea-4391: Breaking news: 🥭 said bers will be the first line of draft in case of a major war
[+11] u/iFiredIce: Come out at 12:14 to say he was a minute early the entire time and it was reporters with the fake news of 11:45. Big brain move by the overlord
[+11] u/MrDinglehut: My portfolio is obliterated too.
[+11] u/Neat-Concentrate-239: HOW ARE WE STILL GREEN LMFAO
[+11] u/Get_dat_money: lol honestly America... this is your guy?
[+11] u/WillNeighbor: bro is just rambling lmfao
[+11] u/NotMe357: "BREAKING: Iran has said it will now attack US industries in the region, per Reuters"
[+11] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: Pam 2 seats away. “Is Pam here today”… guys got a little sleepy joe in him
[+11] u/Gom_KBull: # Marines enroute to Cawk island
# are watching this and having second thoughts LMAO
[+11] u/SoloOutdoor: I should really stop till hes out or dead
[+11] u/im_burning_cookies: 3/15/2026- dear diary today’s not good. Bought some slightly otm puts and the market just goes nowhere. Oh woe is me will I ever drive lambo? Time for Wendy’s dumpster good buy for now.
[+11] u/Kirko_Cousins: So, anyways, **I started POUNDING**
[+11] u/EyeSea7923: Operation Epic Retard and Penis Hammer complete.
[+11] u/Roxorek: WTF IS THIS STUPID ASS MARKET WAITING FOR
6 MONTHS OF SIDEWAYS BULLSHIT
[+11] u/SarcasticTrumpet: They will never let it drop while all of the poors have puts
[+11] u/FrostingOk2692: If Jensen says AI 666 times today the pact will be sealed.
[+11] u/2020isgreat: Iran and the US have been in direct contact in recent days - Axios.
they really ran the same headline again to try to get oil down lmao[](https://x.com/financialjuice/status/2033627018579853670)
[+11] u/PleaseSirOneMoreTurn: Scott Bessent looks like a fucking who from whoville.
[+11] u/Fomo4life69: Thx for the cheap puts. Situation is worse than Friday
[+11] u/Holydude123: Going to use this pump to reduce positions
[+11] u/ProudestPeasant: imagine being in your senior years and just chilling smoking weed.
[+11] u/Current_Pangolin8831: Sold nbis last week cause i thought it couldn't go any higher. Lo and behold
[+11] u/ProudestPeasant: just woke up
how my puts doing
[+11] u/BigShmokeBuffer: Bers getting drunk this morning to cope
Bols getting wasted by lunch after losing the lead
Calls on BUD
[+11] u/Perfectly_Splendid89: most of you are unemployed and it shows.
[+11] u/SpeakerImaginary9796: Buls fell for it again. Wen will they learn
[+11] u/jda823: I'm excited for this afternoons inevitable CNBC bullshit article "Oil crisis really isn't as bad as it seems, and here's why" typical reaction peiece that they come out with to explain the market moves for the day
[+11] u/Far-Requirement9180: Three weeks in a row down. One day up and you call it a win? Ok lol
[+11] u/anonkraken: This is about to fail pretty hard
[+11] u/leestowncat: Trump scared to go to china now lol
[+11] u/Specialist-Sun-4751: Guys the war is over and America has committed to real peace by nationalizing the commanding heights of the economy and redistributing wealth. We have entered a new era of partnership with China and will be introducing flying cars and new highway infrastructure to accompany those cars. They are powered by liquified plutonium alloy mixed with water. We did it ya'll.
[+11] u/DickiesDippinDicks: When does that fat fucking dipshit speak
[+11] u/rooftop_druid: Can someone confirm he genuinely just claimed to have predicted 911?
[+11] u/Mysterious_Ad6637: Iran war going on… 🥭” I build good buildings that’s what I do “ bro get me out of this freakin timeline
[+11] u/G0RD0N_CLARK: This is like improv for Mike Johnson, the clown next to you might say literally ANYTHING, and you're obligated to field it on the fly and respond without violating any laws or undermining your party's mission.
[+11] u/OldBrill: “We don’t need oil” 🥭
[+11] u/East-Detective6697: Goldman: 25% recession probability. Polymarket: 29%.
February payrolls went negative. Unemployment at 4.44%.
The labor market is cracking and oil is at $100+. This is the stagflation playbook.
[+11] u/Jesoo_: the music on the NVDA keynote bruh lmaoo
[+11] u/GunnahStahl: MMs sold that off so quick lol
[+11] u/No_Lobster_1102: Jensen went from the cool good guy to a snake oil salesman
[+10] u/plugwalls: Holy shit it’s Monday when did that happen
[+10] u/Dull_Broccoli1637: Bessent: " We are not doing any market manipulation."
*Oil then goes down*
Lmao okay sir
[+10] u/Spear_n_Magic_Helmet: I can feel all the screenshots being taken
[+10] u/Solid-Season9984: #WHERES THE FUCKING VOLUME!?!?
[+10] u/ResidentPack4103: MAKE OIL NEGATIVE AGAIN
[+10] u/MetalliTooL: I bet you all thought the market would be down and oil would be way up today.
This is why all this shit is gambling.
[+10] u/orsomeshitidk: Bessent almost peed his pants in an interview following a brief chat with mango and yall think we’re primed for ATH.
[+10] u/0DTEBaySt: kill the puts. now kill the calls. thanks for playing
[+10] u/silverfutes: $100/barrel: "na bro, you go first!"
$150/barrel: "anchor's up pussies!"
[+10] u/Paul_Robert_: The second meeting of the board of peace is going to be awkward 💀
[+10] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: Algos are trying their HARDEST to keep this propped up lmao how it’s not drilling is insane
[+10] u/givemethestars000: Painted a powerful white steel and the color is white, shiny white. Im gonna cum
[+10] u/jogolagey: These price swings are nuts
[+10] u/LongroddMcHugendong: Trump sharing private health information on national television
[+10] u/Capt_Chickenpox: Puts are so obvious, that i can't even consider buying them.
[+10] u/2AMTrader: feels like a triple peak before reality steps back in...
[+10] u/borat_he_like_you: Does anyone else feel like $1M isn’t what it used to be?
[+10] u/beachsandwichen: Holy shit I never thought a war could be so boring
[+10] u/trainwreck001: CHECKS STRAITS...
YUP... STILL CLOSED AF
OIL $300
[+10] u/Namtabmal: WTF WAS THAT MY PUTS JUST GOT OBLITERATED
[+10] u/Aggravating-Tea-4391: You guys obsess over a new ticker every day lol, like sheep
[+10] u/Jadenindubai: It’s gonna be a glorious dump by open
[+10] u/Unlikely-Evening2919: Absolutely everyone here is bearish. We are prob going higher
[+10] u/ajibtunes: New York Post report claims US intelligence believes Iran’s new Supreme Leader Mojtaba Khamenei may be gay
[+10] u/hioman01: PANIC BUY EVERY SHIT
[+10] u/Antique-Flight-5358: Why we pumping premarket? Countries are denying aid
[+10] u/SlfImpr: >NO PANICANS!
>Mar 16, 2026, 8:13 AM
DJT
[+10] u/cbusoh66: Calls on our Supreme Leader
Puts on their Supreme Leader
[+10] u/soa333: WW3 is priced in. Stonks only goes up
[+10] u/LongroddMcHugendong: Y’all are about to get rugged so fucking hard
[+10] u/orsomeshitidk: This place is objectively more fun when it’s blood red and yall know it. Bulls are low effort and retarded but I guess still deserve human rights
[+10] u/SmoothFlan0: No war in ba sing se
[+10] u/colinr813: If it’s anything like the last two weeks this is the weekly high
[+10] u/ThisCrayonEater: Alexa play Green Day!
[+10] u/Independent-Tree-985: I for one welcome the 51^st state, Kharg Island. Population 8,000
[+10] u/worsethanworst: bought puts… right before market PUT that big green dildo up my ass
[+10] u/rixxxand: MSFT sitting in the cuck chair in the corner
[+10] u/ecoburner87: it should be obvious that an enormous effort is being made by the US govt to keep the price of oil down, as a means of playing with currency values and pumping the market to start each week (and avoid a monday crash). i feel like that much is clear at this point, it's about how to trade it, and when that liquidity hits, that we are trading with or against
[+10] u/Thisispaartaaa: Look, chances of this press conference being basically Orange tacoman calling out allies (and NATO) who aren't "helping" keep the straight open, and threatening them, are fairly high....He is going to blame everybody but himself and the US for any kind of short coming. "if xy and z would have done A, we would not be in this predicament..I am therefore applying tariffs...etc etc..yadda, yadda"
[+10] u/Several_Bread_9144: Somebody take back the bols to the loony bin
[+10] u/Gom_KBull: Marines gon be out on some island they didnt even know existed like
# The fuck we even doing here?
[+10] u/Unhappy_Hedgehog_808: Of all the pumps in the last year I have to say this is probably the wildest one. I am not a bear by any means but I don’t get this shit.
[+10] u/SoloOutdoor: Us allies told 🥭 get fucked
[+10] u/Scared-Army313: the first 17 moves are always fake
[+10] u/bearhunter429: #Literally every fucking morning SPY takes a dip within 1 minute of me waking up LMAO🤌
[+10] u/mankey21: They're not going to shake this 🐻 out
[+10] u/Neel_Crashkari: ####Situation = Monitored
[+10] u/DirectReplacement795: That was a scary recession glad that’s behind us
[+10] u/Fineous400: I need to do 15 minutes of work and I can’t get myself to do it
[+10] u/UnivalveX: BREAKING: markets declare war is over after single iranian and indian ship cross strait hormuz
[+10] u/doc_trades: Loaded some $671p 0dte here. Fake ass pump
[+10] u/I-ProGamer-I: I see. War is over, oil back to normal, markets green AF….. oh wait 🥴
[+10] u/Soffatjockis: Soon:
"He bought? Dump it."
[+10] u/Fraud_alert2021: I think Monday is hopium day and it's about to dump like last Monday
[+10] u/LankyLibrary7662: Need big Shrek dong to 678
[+10] u/Get_dat_money: This mother fucker better say something to pump these bags- weve been in "Bidens market" for too long now!
[+10] u/weed_cutter: How did Biden cause inflation again? Building bridges and fixing pot holes? ....
Yeah no. It was Trump dumping a trillion gazilloin bofillion dollars in Covid 2020 "PPP" scams. Period. End of Story. It only started being felt in 2021.
.......
And now, Trump's dumb tariffs and pointless Warmongering is literally jacking up gas prices and inflation to untold levels.
... So Trump caused ALL inflation since 2020 ----- Biden, not a dime .... of course, good luck explaining that to the typical re+arded voter!!
[+10] u/McKoijion: Bessant: the Treasury Department isn’t trading oil. We’re merely paying someone else to do it for us.
[+10] u/Cold_Distribution273: It's scary when sentiment is this 50/50 either we drill or we hit a trampoline
[+10] u/Thisispaartaaa: Sooner or later people are going to get fed up with this being late bullshit...and if the fucker isn't there on time going forward, people are just not going to wait for him....apparently, one of the gulf heads of state gave him shit for being late for a meeting.
[+10] u/btoned: Bigger.
Beautiful.
Battlestar galactica.
[+10] u/DickiesDippinDicks: LOL there is no coalition
They’re just bullshitting like always
[+10] u/iFiredIce: Bro is talking about ballrooms and lettin his boy cum; I think he's said everything relevant by now
[+10] u/Get_dat_money: Ranting about paint- Bloomberg cuts away.
Thank God
[+10] u/Ok-Thought-9960: Susie prolly thinking "hey if im close he wont fuck it up"
🥭 " i love white paint"
[+10] u/G0RD0N_CLARK: Death is very bad, when your the speaker. \~ 🥭
[+10] u/uwu_owo_whats_this: I can’t believe this guy is the most powerful man in the world rn
[+10] u/fpuskas27: why is bro discussing a mans private health info 🤣
[+10] u/TemporaryDisaster312: and he's announcing everyone's death eh?
[+10] u/Aggravating_Sir_4709: YEAH LETS JUST TELL EVERYONES HEALTH CONDITIONS ON AIR LIVE!
[+10] u/No_Tough_2065: 🥭 just wants to feel special. Likes announcing stuffs 😂
[+10] u/spyputs1: Market rising on politicians potentially dying lmfao
[+10] u/hey-coffee-eyes: Another day of trying to reconstruct a 🥭 press briefing through WSB comments.
So far I'm trying to connect the dots between paint, pipes, and cancer.
[+10] u/2AMTrader: distracting is all he's got.
[+10] u/AlarmedPelican: what is he even saying LMAO
[+10] u/givemethestars000: He literally said "the hormone straits". Rewind that
[+10] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: The pounding will continue until Epstein Files are completely redacted
[+10] u/Roxorek: so SNDK MU and NBIS is the only way to make money in this market huh
[+10] u/tommyboy441: I am amazed that it is pumping
[+10] u/botistic: DRILL TEAM 6 READY TO DEPLOY
[+10] u/aftherith: Ok here's the deal. It's going to run up causing you to panic sell your puts. It keeps going causing you to fomo into calls. Then it drops back down to where your puts would've been up 100% wiping out your calls. You fomo into puts because someone in the chat said it was the end of the world. It immediately pops back to flat on the week and you contemplate death all weekend.
[+10] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: Pump premarket, bounce around 0.4% the rest of the day. Everything is computer.
[+10] u/Upstairs-Wave-673: there is some serious fuckery going on here
[+10] u/SubduedWeed: Need Jensen to announce he's buying Iran.
[+10] u/mandoslambo: He is going to have to pull a miracle out of his ass if he wants oil to not reach 150 by November
[+10] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: my god this place is regarded
[+10] u/2020isgreat: China is not going to invade taiwan you retards
[+10] u/FullCopy: Iran turned the Strait of Hormuz into the hottest nightclub on the planet.
Oil tankers lining up like dudes trying to convince the bouncer they know the DJ.
[+10] u/orsomeshitidk: Bulls in here talking shit while pulling their pants down for a paddling lmao
[+10] u/adwise27: If we have a +1.5% green day good chance mango sees that and assumes the war is over and tweets about it without consulting anyone lol
[+10] u/yaMomsChestHair: Trend day today. Don’t fight it.
[+10] u/Muted-South4737: Longest five minutes of the day
[+10] u/moorhound: >Bloomberg: Trump’s Demand for Hormuz Support Faces Resistance
Every country is basically telling him to fuck off and go first. I thought he at least had Japan on the hook lmao
[+10] u/lookingforajob2020: 1 hour pump to erase 3 red days lmfao
[+10] u/weewoowewoooo: VIX acting like the war is over lmfaooooo
[+10] u/FullCopy: Greedy bols never learn
[+10] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Iran surrendered unconditionally and the strait is back open?
[+10] u/thefrozen_one: Bols got trapped again lol
[+10] u/Imgoin2brich: If you bought AMZN in July of 2021 - you've only made 9% return over almost 5 years time lol
Let that sink in..
Terrible terrible performance
[+10] u/Spy300: >The physical oil market is reportedly trading significantly higher than the paper market.
Fake, the price is.
[+10] u/WSB-mods-are-: My coworker is named Jeff and I always call him "Jeffrey" and I am one bad morning slip away from calling him "Jeffery Epstein" just because of how often I see that name on here
[+10] u/Antique_Bat5003: Apparently a 5 minute shit is too long to not look at the chart and will cause you to lose lots of money.
[+10] u/VirgillMastercard: When rug pull? No way we close green
[+10] u/eggmaker: What really has me riled up is I'll never be as good of an interior designer as him
[+10] u/Internal_Field5970: “You know, it’s France”
- 🥭
[+10] u/sloanemonroe: Nobody, absolutely nobody would be buying stocks with this guy talking right now. Obviously is in deep trouble. Therefore, it just re-emphasizes how manipulated the market really is.
[+10] u/Colloquial: bols already forgot how dumb that sounded
[+10] u/wa_2050: [https://x.com/netanyahu/status/2033515975379911114](https://x.com/netanyahu/status/2033515975379911114)
Watch the ring on his left hand... definitely ring disappearing/AI.. at .27 Sec
Do we think BiBi is dead? --- Calls?
[+10] u/TomatoSpecialist6879: It's actually hilarious how much fucking dumber 🥭 sounds every time he speaks lmao
[+10] u/ButterscotchOdd7615: If spy drops 3% today I’ll shove a 🍌up my butt
[+10] u/PocaMadre69: These markets since the Iran war are so stupid
[+10] u/spyputs1: Leaking the man’s diagnosis hippa be damned
[+10] u/Difficult-Ask2278: This guy loves talking about pounding today
[+10] u/Jesoo_: IT’S TIME, LEATHER JACKET MAN, SIGNER OF TITS!
[+10] u/iThinkiStartedATrend: I would like to thank the market for replacing casinos in my life. Up until a few years ago I couldn’t gamble all day long.
Now I enjoy sports at night and bet on green or red all day long
[+10] u/CUbuffGuy: This is your sign to get SPX 0dte puts here. We end lower.
[+10] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: 🥭 keep talking please my puts are coming back to life
[+10] u/unclefire: We're attacking the pipes, the pipes. We'll attack in 5 minutes and it'll be over. The pipes will be "gahn"
[+10] u/Joppop1: lol. Why is bro obsessed with other peoples’ wives
[+10] u/Only-Cranberry-4502: Actually I think israel might do that
[+10] u/TTacticz: Someone make him stop
[+10] u/_Kenway: imagine spending 925$ bilions on defense and still not being able to intercept 10k $ drones
[+10] u/_TheMagicMan13_: "The United States should very much not be involved"... WHAT!!!
[+10] u/Quick1711: Pipes
Pounding people
Almost saying autistic
Fucking epic !!!
[+9] u/Blyadhole: I love democracy. You can just dilute existing shareholders without repercussions. And after you’ve marginalized the existing shareholders you just do a corporate takeover.
[+9] u/twostroke1: If China boats are allowed through the Strait, why don’t all the boats just toss up a Chyna flag and spray paint “China” on the side before crossing through?
Are they retarded or something?
[+9] u/Soft_Ladder_7894: THIS IS A DEF BOL TRAP WATCH
[+9] u/DahyunDabFan: Bers getting drafted to invade karg island
[+9] u/Briack89: I smell the trap! Nothing make sense anymore
I don’t want to be exit liquidity this week
[+9] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: When will Israel give Taco permission to exit Iran?
[+9] u/Ok_Abbreviations8440: I’m so good at predicting the wrong direction of the market it’s crazy
[+9] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Buying puts. Nothing has changed at all
[+9] u/iThinkiStartedATrend: There is no war in Ba Sing Se
[+9] u/marawki: Watch the market close red. There is 0 reason to be so green
[+9] u/ButterscotchOdd7615: We 🐻🐻🐻will have our revenge 📉📉📉
[+9] u/trainwreck001: CHECKED STRAITS...
CLOSED AF STILL
LOL
OIL $300
[+9] u/spyputs1: This man has won the Iran war 15 times in the last 2 weeks, where’s the Nobel peace prize?
[+9] u/Leading-Future6691: Drop this to 666 already
[+9] u/Country_Gravy420: This guy is such a fucking tard
[+9] u/Bichael-Murry: HE CANT BE THAT DUMB, THIS IS A SIMULATION
[+9] u/Razvanell95: has this retard done anything good so far?
[+9] u/Aggravating_Sir_4709: This guy is literally yapping
[+9] u/Fineous400: Iran going to try and hit the ballroom with a drone prolly
[+9] u/SoloOutdoor: This market should go to zero with this retard at the helm
[+9] u/Dangerous_Time_1450: So him just ignoring the topic of Iran is good news?
[+9] u/WendyDumpsterFire: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⡤⠀⠀⡴⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣤⣀⣠⡾⠿⢿⣿⣷⣄⣶⣿⢛⣿⠷⠶⡓⣦⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⢴⣯⠴⠛⠁⢠⠖⠉⣭⡉⠉⠻⣷⠋⣿⣦⡀⠈⢺⡂
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣤⡴⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⢠⡇⠀⣼⡿⣷⠀⠀⠘⡄⢹⣯⣿⠀⠀⣱
⠀⠀⠀⣠⠴⠞⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣧⠀⠿⠾⠃⠀⠀⣠⡷⣌⣍⡡⣴⣾⣭
⢀⣴⠚⠁⠀⢠⡤⠶⠦⣄⠀⠀⠰⣄⠀⢫⣕⠦⠤⢤⣤⠞⠋⠳⣦⣤⡤⠟⠋⢡
⡾⠁⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⢻⣄⠈⠳⢦⣀⡈⠉⠛⠒⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢛⣀⡤⣶⣞
⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⣆⠀⠙⠳⣦⣀⠈⠉⠙⠓⠶⠶⠶⠶⢶⣶⣶⠶⢚⣉⣉⣤⣾⡼
⣿⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠳⢤⣄⣀⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠓⠒⠚⠛⠛⠛⣉⣉⣁⣠⣴⠏⠁⠀
⠻⠿⣵⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠉⠙⠛⠒⠶⠶⠶⠶⠒⠚⣛⣩⠿⠟⠕⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠈⠉⠛⠻⠶⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣤⣄⣀⣀⣀⣠⣤⠾⢯⣿⡥⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠻⣿⠄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
[+9] u/hallett21: Considering the tweets 🥭 has had about Jerome the last few weeks Wednesday is not gonna go well for call holders lol
[+9] u/zeren1ty: Oil calls are free money after that shitshow speech from 🥭
[+9] u/Cold_Distribution273: Where's the leg down I promised myself?
[+9] u/AfraidAnalyst: It’s pretty wild the markets move on either tweets or 1 company
[+9] u/Soft_Ladder_7894: WATCH THE MOMENT I BUY CALL SHIT WILL CRASH DUMP
[+9] u/astromouse2024: Reddit servers being complete ass cheeks
[+9] u/Oatmeal_Raisin_: Its insane that Jensen talking has an immediately bigger impact on the market than the iran conflict
[+9] u/Deadsea3132: NBIS has been ass fucking me for six months please let me break even so I can gtfo
[+9] u/All_FIREdUp: The U.S. is massively projecting itself as weak rn and that is fucking *funny*
[+9] u/Bichael-Murry: bessent gonna bankrupt the treasury with his regarded oil short
he must be posting here, reveal yourself gaelord
[+9] u/wa_2050: US Treasury about to get Margin Called. Debt is going to hit 40 trillion.
[+9] u/Afraid_Contest_6769: Wow, Bessent just stated on CNBC, “It’s not that hard to understand. Stay invested”. Yep, pack it up bers
[+9] u/Summerdaysengineer: Too bullish here. sell everything at open and wait for drop
[+9] u/Level_Counter3062: Taking today to exit positions, thank you buyers
[+9] u/financiallythriving: Imagine thinking you’re gonna make money today
[+9] u/Gom_KBull: # They're catching all the little fishies today
# Goddamn massacre inbound
# ╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭
^(KEEN TOCKY)
[+9] u/tandoori_taco_cat: Didn't Gen X have Star Wars?
[+9] u/Traditional_Hair_453: Doomers in disbelief
[+9] u/patmccock86: Absolutely absurd to be pumping like this. Nothing changed. The war is still going lmao
[+9] u/keagator: If SPY has taught me anything, we are dumping at open.
[+9] u/14BrewMan: Holding calls over the weekend was stressful as fuck. Checking the fucking news every 2 minutes to see if a tweet fucked my port. Never again.
[+9] u/Numisko: nobody wants to be left holding the bag but nobody wants to miss the pump
[+9] u/looool_k_libtard: Why hasn’t 🥭 unleashed Godzilla in the strait?
[+9] u/Thesaint7811: Man SPY is setting up for a nice ole dump
[+9] u/PocaMadre69: Wouldn’t be surprised if put volume was the reason everything is green
[+9] u/Options_tarded: The boomers really sold the American dream to corporate interests and third world migrants. All so they could make a few extra bucks for their bowling and golf leagues. They live a life of leisure we will never afford. Anyways I’m buying puts
[+9] u/Unhappy-Ad-2609: My puts are bleeding help
[+9] u/Gom_KBull: LMAO somebody asked him if its just an excursion or a war.
**His response:** *"Well, its both. Its both. It's an excursion that will, uhhh, keep us out of a war. And the war, well its a war for them."*
[+9] u/AltMotive3: lol fucking retarded
[+9] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: God I’ll take whatever red candles I can get at the moment…
[+9] u/NotMe357: "White House says TACO-Xi meeting could be delayed, per CNBC"
[+9] u/plzplzplztendies: #UH OH BUL IN TROUBLE
[+9] u/orsomeshitidk: How many of yall are having to look in the retard mirror rn lmao
[+9] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Gentle reminder to not trust this market. We still have the biggest idiot in America in charge
[+9] u/Usedillusion7: The reason we get so much joy in watching bols get curb stomped is because nobody deserves it more than them
[+9] u/wildcat1055: 🥭 better finish this war before the start of March Madness
I can't monitor too many situations at the same time
[+9] u/Stop_The_Rain: Normally bullish...but feel this could crap out at any second. No reason to be up today.
[+9] u/sarcago: SPY literally still down YTD and bulls are creaming their jeans.
[+9] u/Aggravating_Sir_4709: All of these up moves feel so forced.
[+9] u/RareEurf: # 🫵 WANT TO BUY SNDK PUTS BECAUSE 🫵 DON’T HAVE ANY SHARES.
[+9] u/borkdpasito: Has this fker ever been on time?
[+9] u/TheMightySet69: Let's go. Dildo of doom!
[+9] u/Scalpaholic: Tried to screw me out of my Puts. Jokes on them because I'm deathgripping these to $0 even after they go ITM. 🤡
[+9] u/Internal_Field5970: Nobody gives a fuck about this theater
[+9] u/browsk: This is what conservative people care about?
[+9] u/eoiioe: It’s Joeover, I blame sleepy joe
[+9] u/eoiioe: Next topic;
The ballrooms toilet seat is made from beautiful excellent American plastic, the best
[+9] u/zestykite: jensen gonna send ships to defend hormuz?
[+9] u/Putrid_Pollution3455: The circumference of your shit is a direct indicator for how stressed you are. If your dump ain’t the size of your wrist, you either need a vacation, maybe like a case of beers in a loud garage, maybe a lil cigarette, definitely some magnesium, good sleep, a gallon of water, 1.5 hours of exercise, and a few sessions of wild intercourse or hog cranking, (but we all know the real benefits are cumming inside another person; “there is no second best”).
Best of luck traders! I’m here as your pacer; if you aren’t beating me, you’re fucking things up. I’m -5.87% ytd. I expect more pain cause I have a high allocation to magic beans 🫘 as the haters say (ibit) and it’ll probably make me look really dumb until 2029
[+9] u/callsonreddit: I’m guessing we green because of META NBIS and recovery bounce and hormuz escorts
[+9] u/LostandConfused2024: Imagine being a MSFT bagholder
[+9] u/Weak_Emu3659: YOU DUMB SACKS OF SHIT
[+9] u/Spy300: >President Trump briefed by US intelligence that Iran's new Supreme Leader Mojtaba Khamenei may be gay, NY Post reports.
Wow they have so much in common. Maybe he should come over to trump's new ballroom for a dance party.
[+9] u/WeekendWarior: Do people really just sit there staring at the 1 minute chart and comment here every few minutes for 0 upvotes?
[+9] u/SoloOutdoor: I think a patriot missile is in my ass
[+9] u/Graymyst: Some people just like being exit liquidity.
[+9] u/globohydrate: It only took 5 years but I stopped trading SPY 0DTE.
Now I trade SPXW 0DTE.
[+9] u/xSpectre_iD: AAPL falls 3% on Friday, my July Calls lose 22% of their value. AAPL is back up 1.5% today? Calls up 2.3%.
[+9] u/hallett21: A warm McDouble, fries and an ice cold Diet Coke. That’s what stands between Iran living or being evaporated.
[+9] u/financiallythriving: Imagine buying SPY 700 weeklies since October 2025
[+9] u/ItInProg: why in gods name did spy spike above 670 come on is it because i bought puts
[+9] u/iThinkiStartedATrend: You and everyone the fuck else.
[+9] u/Paul_Robert_: To think that Sandisk was only $45 a handful of months ago 😭
[+9] u/Ok-Bumblebee1526: I like how volume dries up just before noon. Like are these fuckers taking their lunches 15 mins early?
[+9] u/Internal_Field5970: Hey guys I bought a bunch of SPY 5 months ago, how much am I up?
[+9] u/Venom17645: buls r fuk! Exit liquidation
[+9] u/LongroddMcHugendong: I’m about 99% certain if we blew up Iran’s oil production or shipping that China would declare war
[+9] u/Haunting-Window-5125: This probably goes hard if you grew up eating lead paint
[+9] u/Shoddy_Ad897: My puts are having a good time.
[+9] u/DickiesDippinDicks: God every fucking thing he says he has to blame it on someone even when nothing is wrong
It’s like I’m being lobotomized every goddamn day listening to this shit
[+9] u/9tacos: The ballroom will never be built 🤡 🔫🤣
[+9] u/Paper_Clip100: I don't understand how anyone can listen to this person and think "he's a smart guy!"
[+9] u/Marshmallowmind2: Now watch this drive
[+9] u/---Right--Tackle---: #my portfolio is getting frame mogged by ghey bears
[+9] u/MelonBeefChop: There is a literal war & this guy is talking about mickey mouse woke
[+9] u/ratedsar: Did he just describe creating a power vacuum?
[+9] u/Uisce-beatha: Dumbest motherfuckers in every room they step foot in. Reporters can't even ask legit questions and they still look like fools. How the markets have any faith in these fucktards is beyond comprehension. Calls it is
[+9] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: They call it SPY because it lets MM know when you bought calls/puts so it can do the opposite
[+9] u/JustLurkCarryOn: “The New York Post reported Monday that Trump has been briefed that Khamenei may be gay - a report White House Communications Director Steven Cheung reported to X, writing ‘Some interesting reporting coming out of Tehran these days.”
What fucking timeline is this lmao.
[+9] u/Axonum: This pump is fake and gey
[+9] u/Molten-Helldiver: Is this going to be another one of those after hours rug pulls?
[+9] u/NotMe357: "BREAKING: Cuba’s national grid has collapsed, leaving ~10 million people without power."
Fuck that's sad.....
[+9] u/Nakedputbuyer: How many billions got rugged on that nvda move, wild
[+9] u/MeYouThemEveryone: Market manipulation in full swing
[+9] u/NotMe357: "TACO reportedly briefed that "Iran’s new Supreme Leader Mojtaba Khamenei is probably gay," per NYP"
I don't know what to say anymore lol
[+9] u/Marshmallowmind2: I can't believe with 8 billion people and mutations how we haven't got at least some people with either x ray vision, night time vision, 150-200 years lifespan, someone who glows in the dark, cancer fighting genes, teeth which grow back etc
[+9] u/0dtexpiry: Holy shit buddy just dump it already
[+9] u/BFox1982: Gonna need Iran to nuke the strait at this point.
[+9] u/patmccock86: Boggles my mind how hard they're fighting a drop, it's like their lives depend on it
[+9] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: NBIS next pump and dump?
[+9] u/Just_Learned_This: Ima bear
Ima bear
Ima bear
Ima bear
#ima bear
[+9] u/OrionJohnson: Historic put buying opportunity at open if this holds.
[+9] u/mankey21: "Market rises on straights of Hormuz Hope." I hope to be less retarded in the future but no one's investing into me 😤
[+9] u/plzplzplztendies: #BOL BEGGING IRAN TO SURRENDER
[+9] u/borkdpasito: Bessents account ran out of money
I hope regard bols know they only had a pump because the government are selling down oil
[+9] u/hallett21: 650 Friday is not a meme.
[+9] u/Far-Requirement9180: Suddenly not a single seller after this little pump? Oh boy, lol
[+9] u/LankyLibrary7662: Its over for spy back to 666
[+9] u/LetsConsultTheMap: Dip buyers are ruining my fun.
[+9] u/get_da_maney: No way the markets going to eat the same shi again lmao
[+9] u/wave_action: i think this is the time i start overtrading and lose it all
[+9] u/Bam2458: So did I hear that correctly? Did he just say he predicted 9/11?
[+9] u/lax_street: ww3 is starting and this guy is talking about home renovations
[+9] u/Fineous400: There are two kinds of people. Those who know angel hair pasta is best and those that are wrong.
[+9] u/Lapidated_Llama: How to stop full porting weekly calls after trying to average down and then panic selling?
[+9] u/noahmfs: In a few hours Iran will be like we haven't even talked to 🥭 we are not asking for any deals.
[+9] u/abscando: shaheed for speed: hormuz drift
[+9] u/Kind-Recognition4528: Gonna put some frozen wings on the oven to make them crispy for like 2 hours and monitor the situation.
[+9] u/Awkward_Boss9710: This pump has "there is no war in Ba Sing Sei" vibes
[+9] u/Expert_Turn4697: "HE BOUGHT? TRADE IT SIDEWAYHS"
[+9] u/CLYDEFR000G: Would be a lot cooler if this shit dumped
[+9] u/Quick1711: He is stalling taking questions from the press
[+9] u/DanasSideWife: Why don’t they just glue all those posters of the ayatollah to the ships. No way IRGC blows up a floating shrine of him.
[+9] u/redskady: The US military just announced that it has developed bone spurs, so it's going to return home. War canceled,
[+9] u/qx2: That is very nice looking rug, where did you get it?
[+9] u/sonofalando: Looks like the typical bear market rally
[+9] u/Humble_Code_6501: Holy shit, he has dementia, it cannot be otherwise
[+9] u/Defiant-Fee-7550: META spending $100s of billions just so I can store all my booty pictures 😦🤌
[+9] u/Interesting-Iron2587: MU SNDK got legs legit
[+9] u/ManyHead6662: #Nvidia announced a new data center in Tehran
[+9] u/financiallythriving: Imagine spending your entire day looking at stock price action
[+9] u/housemoneyrocketship: I sold that shit so fast +$2800 LETS GOOO
[+9] u/brannock_: That $1 trillion in revenue is actually over 2025-2027
So in essence Jensen is guiding **down**
[+9] u/GibonFrog: i bought oil and now my account is drilling
[+9] u/dudeondacouch: Celieve it or not, balls.
[+9] u/LimitIntelligent9946: This pump is crazy.. all of the nations literally refused to escort ships shortly after the Trump tweet. There was nothing good that came out of the weekend… +1% QQQ in pre market is criminal
[+9] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Hmm let me check marine traffic oh yes the strait is still fucking closed.
Market is doing lines of copium and vibes it is what it is… like right before 2007 market crash
[+9] u/Valkorion335786: Wait when is Fed meeting lmfao
[+9] u/Independent-Visit139: bros just going on about paint😭
[+9] u/givemethestars000: "Look at all these wives. They took a pounding"
[+9] u/Normal_Tap3021: 668p looks like the play today for sour hour
[+9] u/NewDawn101: 🥭 sad no one is gonna help him with straight of Hormuz
[+9] u/pmotiveforce: I now spend my Monday mornings listening to the idiotic, bumbling rantings of a complete moron.
[+9] u/IliaMadeDuckachev: THANK YOU TRUMPFLATION FOR CURING MY SODA ADDICTION. 11.99 FOR A 12 PACK FUNNY!
[+9] u/TokiAsuma: I just realized. I don’t have to buy 450+ contracts each time. I can just play small and do like 10 contracts whenever I want my gambling fix.
The wins might be small but at least seeing +90$ is better then -8k
[+9] u/GoogleKushforLunch: Wait till USO announce a deal with openAI it’s gonna rip
[+9] u/Muted-South4737: Interior: Ber Command
Ber watch officer: Sir, it's bleeding
Ber general: Good, good
Ber watch officer: ...up, sir.
Ber general: \*chokes while sipping tea\*
[+9] u/Ok_Customer900: HOOD and MSFT go fk yourselves
[+9] u/Roxorek: HORMUZ closed for 2 weeks market be like let's go buy some dogecoin
[+9] u/mcflinty_1: I wonder if Biden will get blamed for the tornadoes today
[+9] u/ConstantAd1: I DON'T KNOW WHAT ANY OF THIS MEANS
CALLLLLLSSSSS
[+9] u/Electronic-Advisor72: Jenson trying to pump every single name.
[+8] u/WSB-mods-are-: This is like when Elon makes an announcement about a TSLA breakthrough and the engineers say this is the first they've heard of it
[+8] u/Bam2458: When we’re at 7300 later this year and the bears are screaming about how nothing makes sense, do we try to teach them to buy calls or just let them scream?
[+8] u/UnivalveX: SPY back to 687 by end of week
[+8] u/Traditional_Hair_453: BERS WERE HAPPY FOR LIKE 30 seconds when futes opened LMAO
[+8] u/Internal_Field5970: Gen X had Back to the Futurue 🤣 🤣
Gen Z has Dune 💤 😴 🥱 🗑️
Millennials had LOTR - we are the GOAT
[+8] u/villagezero: Jerome ‘Irondome’ Powell
Intercepting your options with absolute impunity
[+8] u/Vegetable_Push6542: I honestly feel like there's going to be a rugpull even when the war situation somewhat resolves simply because of a multitude of concerns like AI CapEx, weak job market, stagflation, Fed not able to cut, private equity concerns, SAASpocalypse and the destruction of software moat all coming at once.
If anything, this war is probably the least of the above concerns. This was a terrible time to start this war.
[+8] u/zeren1ty: Either giga pump spy past 700 or let oil go 150+
This constant loop of mango flavoured nothing ever happens is yawn inducing
[+8] u/Valkorion335786: Each day I play the game of “Do I fill up on expensive gas now or see if the situation get fixed and I get cheaper gas later?”
Knowing my luck, the entire world is waiting on me to fill up so they can reopen the Strait immediately after.
[+8] u/No-Improvement3164: Mango has tariffed my mental health and well being. Where do I file my claim?
[+8] u/dehmos: Really sick of bers calling for an orgasmic black Monday every fucking weekend.
[+8] u/UnivalveX: shits pumping uncontrollably
[+8] u/NotMe357: "The U.S. is permitting Iranian oil tankers to transit the Strait of Hormuz in an effort to help keep global oil supplies stable, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent said."
Iran: WTF lol
[+8] u/anonkraken: Lmao bools. This is not a bool market.
[+8] u/Scared-Army313: this market is hogwash
[+8] u/bearhunter429: #We about to DRILL hard LMAO🤌
[+8] u/Important_Yoghurt722: wow thats impressive...your wife likes you? IMPOSSIBLE
[+8] u/Rainbow_BeanPie: I believe everything is an inverse of the current oil price. Oil is dropping now, so the market goes up.
[+8] u/stupidber: We're never gonna dump!!
[+8] u/bearhunter429: #The most obvious "red by close" day ever LMAO🤌
[+8] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: Exit liquidity to prepare for fed announcing rate hikes this week
[+8] u/Far-Requirement9180: wtf is this, market manipulation for ants ?
[+8] u/Civil_Cheesecake2492: "Literally obliterated"... Okay we're gonna chop flat for the rest of the day 🙏
[+8] u/AGeneralRelativity: Y’all voted for this. Three times ffs!!!
[+8] u/pm_me_yo_creditscore: https://preview.redd.it/gagkwwa7ufpg1.png?width=985&format=png&auto=webp&s=9e7ee4c84eed6f9bb9849563e4e28af337668bf3
[+8] u/WSB-mods-are-: thought I was being clever bringing a flask to add liquor to my coke at a restaurant but it turns out I'm just an alcoholic
[+8] u/LasyKuuga: Bro is fumbling rn.
I miss the old 🥭. The he died like a dog 🥭. The grab them by the 🐈⬛ 🥭.
I hate the new 🥭 . I hate the pounding 🥭. I don’t need anything 🥭
[+8] u/zestykite: betting on an EOD dump seems foolish. but here i am agin...
[+8] u/WendyDumpsterFire: We about to be like Japan the lost decade
[+8] u/bidahtibull: Why's it called a Strait when there's clearly a bend.
Is the World worrying about the wrong thing?
Calls for when they realise.
[+8] u/Roxorek: 6 months sideways
even $100 oil and strait closed can't move this market?
most regarded shit ever seen
[+8] u/ajibtunes: Axios:
🥭 expected a quick victory in the war with Iran, but the conflict is increasingly looking like an “escalation trap.” In such situations, the stronger military keeps intensifying attacks to prove dominance even as the strategic gains diminishes.
[+8] u/EnvironmentalSelf438: fuckkkkk im balls dip into calls, but this pre market is sussss
[+8] u/Mean_Bumblebee1945: If futures are down, bulls never trust them and claim they are 🌈 Now today all of a sudden, they celebrate their success very confident and early. So today futures are not fake?
[+8] u/Ok-Analysis4121: Oh yes I'm definitely buying puts at open.
[+8] u/AgitatedJump8459: Whatsup with oil? Im -50k on margin
[+8] u/davidbigham: Just need META to hit 800 this week, then my call would be breakeven . Rip 25k
[+8] u/chalupabatman2404: 30% unemployment for new grad hires is insane
[+8] u/RjBloxks: bers thot puts would print lol
[+8] u/zeren1ty: Oil is dipping because 🥭 administration announced they will actively short it
Which you should then assume has and is already happening
No fundamentals changed still
[+8] u/breaker_bad: Hormuz acting kinda gay instead of strait
[+8] u/Far-Requirement9180: Bro people on LInkedIn are more regarded than actually WSB apes. Bunch of circle jerking losers lol
[+8] u/M_from_Vegas: When 🥭
Smooth jazz is nice but let's get goin
[+8] u/Bubbly-Form-7059: Might actually end as a red day holy fuck
[+8] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Bro trying to pull out but Iran got their legs wrapped around him. Too late.
[+8] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: Ball Room = Let them eat cake.
We are so back to the French Louis the 15th time era..
[+8] u/2020isgreat: Calls on this ballroom
[+8] u/jroache: All he needs to do is say something positive to neutral and fucking stay on topic and the market moves up, and this fucking 100 year old retard cant even do that
[+8] u/WSB-mods-are-: Ice Road Truckers has nothing in ratings compared to Land Mine Tankers
[+8] u/neo-futurism: This music will end the IRAN war
[+8] u/leestowncat: Guess ai is replacing oil lol
[+8] u/PossumImposter2: Silver please just go to $80 one last time and I’ll get out I promise I’ll never bother you again, please just let me out
[+8] u/OkRecommendation1040: Welcome to the metaverse
[+8] u/PalsRocksMyWorld: If the President says no panican…that means panic and sell everything, right?
[+8] u/Moepenmoes: Why is the market green? Does the dead cat keep bouncing?
[+8] u/RagingBearBull: watching the commentators on CNBC.
how the fuck do these regards have more money than me.
[+8] u/solidsneeze: all puts are stored on kharg island
[+8] u/ConfectionRecent2586: And now watch the Rug Pull…
[+8] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Bessent spilled his Dr Pepper on his laptop and now he can’t short oil!
[+8] u/SIRxDUCK7: We going to war and pedos are in charge. Load those calls bois
[+8] u/SouthNice7324: I think you are loading up on puts too early. Wait to SPY 675 minimum
[+8] u/rollinhating: is trump nostradamus? he predicted 9/11 in his book
[+8] u/marawki: Man, this dude likes to put out the most bizarre spaghetti of words
[+8] u/Aggravating_Sir_4709: "I'M LIVING JUST TO HELP THE GOP!"
Levels of simping, I've never understood.
[+8] u/crossdefaults: "He didn't like Mickey mouse being woke."
[+8] u/wildcat1055: You listen to 🥭 looking for clues about the market
I listen to 🥭 looking for home decoration tips
We are not the same
[+8] u/AltMotive3: The only way 🥭 can save his legacy is if he dodges shoes thrown at him, smirking as he does so
[+8] u/colinr813: Fomc uncertainty back in November caused a bigger selloff than the war. So far.
[+8] u/JernauG: So when boots? Tonight?
[+8] u/crazyfool319: someone just wiped out their account buying NVDA 0dte calls on the algo pump
[+8] u/elvanse70: starmer having a backbone for once and telling 🥭 to fuck off and fight his own wars 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅
[+8] u/CDulst: I'm so bullish rn, this shit is pumping straight to 700!
(full port puts)
[+8] u/justaddcatalyst: It ain’t over til the Hormuz
[+8] u/nolanjp: Microslop to zero, their software is so garbage
[+8] u/Comfortable733: Treasury is going to be converted into a national oil company
[+8] u/Ok-Rock-7226: Trump is Bearhunter
"JUST AS I PREDICTED, 911"
[+8] u/ILikuhTheTrade: Calls on "this building."
[+8] u/thefrozen_one: This chop is fcking stupid. I’m out ✌️
[+8] u/2AMTrader: this war not going anywhere this week for sure.
[+8] u/tika_dengu: 🇮🇷 has no cards, Oil to $67
[+8] u/LasyKuuga: Bout 2.5 hour of work and I’m already done emotionally 😔
[+8] u/Leftoverofferings: Green this morning, deep red by close.
[+8] u/GuyFaulks77: 0% chance today touches red. Perma ban me if I’m wrong
[+8] u/Far-Information-4765: Siente como una puta trampa alcista
[+8] u/plugwalls: Got 20k riding on Micropeen this week, let’s get it
[+8] u/DatsMaPurse_IDKU: lol imagine imagining 🫵👁️🫦👁️
[+8] u/organicMango_: NBIS crazy volume...
[+8] u/SodaComa: guys oil comes from the ground and there is a lot of ground.
oil down; market up.
[+8] u/CUbuffGuy: Imagine how mad bulls will be when this goes red lol
[+8] u/LasyKuuga: Circuit breaker day for the memes 🙏
[+8] u/Creative-Package6213: Buying SPY puts, this dude is regarded as fuck.
[+8] u/Paper_Clip100: Low-key funny to watch the markets drop while Trump actively communicates
[+8] u/Ok-Analysis4121: It is crazy how the second you buy a call or put the price goes in the opposite direction.
[+8] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: If 🥭 consider a 2nd career in interior designing, he might be the very best in the industry.
Gold color, curtains, Ball room..
He got to be a professor and teach in a university for our future bourgeoisie lords.
[+8] u/Damerman: Some asshole has been selling SPX calls Everytime it hits 6950 and is making a killing
[+8] u/Internal_Field5970: It doesn’t go fast. It will go fast.
- 🥭
[+8] u/smart_doge: No Prez wanted to do what I did. Because I’m tarded
[+8] u/LetsConsultTheMap: The fact we've pumped off this speech is incredible and terrifying. We'll buy up anything because once the music stops everyone knows the economy would be beyond screwed
[+8] u/Soffatjockis: Amazing that people still believe what the mango says.
No one is going to keep the strait open as long as Iran wants it closed lol.
Bull trap 100%
[+8] u/2AMTrader: Im not bear or bull, I horse
[+8] u/Namtabmal: I GOT FUCKING PUTS AND THAT GREEN BS CANDLE FORCED A SELL FUCK OFF AND NOW ITS DOWN FUCKING BULLSHIT
[+8] u/sck178: My goodness, what did Jensen say?!
[+8] u/Shoddy_Ad897: Some of you are going to need therapy after what nvda just did to you
[+8] u/OscarCapac: Take a screenshot of NVDA under 200. You'll show it to your kids
[+8] u/ProblemOk4641: Spy to 670ish today and then easy puts for rest of day
[+8] u/LeBhikariLe: META dumps ~4% on Friday and pumps 3% in pre-market today. WTH is going on
[+8] u/DrummerCompetitive20: Meta, msft, amazon, google, are all trading at like x20 forward PE and people are wondering why they arent down another 20% LOL
[+8] u/YooperTrooper: I should of gone to collage
[+8] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: META 20% cuts and it’s only worth a $15 bounce in the stock. The market thinks Zuck is being stubborn again and betting the farm on a pie in the sky bet. We’ll see how bad capex continues to be misallocated
[+8] u/WonUpH: C'mon jpow raise those rates and make 🥭 squeal even harder
[+8] u/jogolagey: Touch 670 and reverse already
[+8] u/Bichael-Murry: HE MAKES NO SENSE AGAIN MY GOD
🥭 BRO COME ON
[+8] u/Bichael-Murry: WH stuffer lady be like 'tf is going on'
[+8] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Doctor said you'll be dead by June. 🥭 Said bruh you better come to work and cast votes bruh
[+8] u/Difficult-Ask2278: Stonks only go right
[+8] u/orsomeshitidk: Resigned from my position as captain on my vol fire department yesterday and last night the first time in years to not be woken up in the night from the radio tones.
Going to miss it but a season for everything in life.
[+8] u/kodaksdad2020: This market is something else
[+8] u/OrdinaryMix4013: so fuking manipulated its not funny
[+8] u/bronzewhale: Bulls are so soft now 😂
[+8] u/awetfartruinedmylife: it's so sad we cannot trust a pump anymore
[+8] u/keagator: Where’s the crash I was promised?
[+8] u/Ok-Thought-9960: hes sitting there like hes in trouble lmao
[+8] u/CapitalElk1169: Why did I sell my puts early arrrrgh
[+8] u/FastCar_5: Lol the live news channel had enough and moved on to serious news after cutting it off
[+8] u/weewoowewoooo: Love losing 20% everyday from flat movement and bullshit theta lmfao
[+8] u/WocketWaccoon: Out of all of the stocks out there, I decided to choose dogshit SOFI. FML
[+8] u/hermeskino715: This ain't 2024. Jensen ain't saving your ass
[+8] u/InternationalLoss440: was that stop loss hunt or are they waiting for me specifically to end my puts?
[+8] u/michaelis999: only NVDA can pull bullshit like this
[+8] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/itsgodsposterchild made a bet that SPY would go to 481.0 within **3 days** when it was 661.471 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 1 wins and 16 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+8] u/PropheticMurmurs: So, did anyone hit the 45 bagger by buying NVDA 0DTE $187.5 calls for $0.05 at 3:05 pm and selling them for $2.20 at 3:10 pm?
[+8] u/Taiyoken: White house hard at work shorting oil only for it to violently rebound later
[+8] u/AgeMiddle854: It pays to be bicurious during times like these
[+8] u/NotEasyOne_Regard: 1 bowl
1 cold yogurt (plain or flavour but I recommend the plain one) in bowl
Some garlic smashed in the bowl
A piece of lemon squished in the bowl (you mainly want the lemon juice but you can also leave some bits of the lemon inside too)
Some cut dill
Salt as you like it or see fit
Mix it good with a fork so air can also move in the sauce.
Better served cold (it will be if the yogurt is cold)
Enjoy with chicken, fish, pork, toasted bread, ber tears, boiled potatoes, other things that you may think it fits.
You can also add small slices of cucumber if you are into that kind of thing.
[+8] u/hfbvm2: What the fuck is the old man talking about. I am 20 minutes in
[+8] u/Ok-Thought-9960: BREAKING: MIKE JOHNSON DRAFTED TO FRONTLINE
[+8] u/addicci: gold moonwalking to a monthly low just to fuck with me 😩
safe haven my ass(et)
[+8] u/Far-Requirement9180: My stop losses triggered, fuck you too ! Lol
[+7] u/orsomeshitidk: Cracks me up bulls act like they don’t trade on emotion lol
[+7] u/Roxorek: every move is fake and gay
up fake
down fake
spy is gay
[+7] u/Antique_Bat5003: There's no way this sticks.
[+7] u/2020isgreat: Oil bears if you didn't know venezuelan oil is dogshit
[+7] u/dablackpantha: Did he actually predict 9/11??
[+7] u/crossdefaults: "He knows what it is to pound people!"
[+7] u/Remarkable-Ice6354: What the fuck is he even talking about? He talks like a person with advanced alzheimer to be honest
[+7] u/guy_cloutier: Bought calls so I should rejoice....but it's MSFT calls :(
[+7] u/Hardbun: SPX puts this morning?
[+7] u/Trashpanda7193: Glad I bought MU on the dip, one of the few plays that didn’t turn into a cluster fuck
[+7] u/BFox1982: Gonna dump at open as per always.
[+7] u/WalrusHonda: Up .9% pre market on only bad news , nope nothing weird about that lol
[+7] u/Defiant-Fee-7550: I get up at 5am to go to work so my cat can sleep on a $3,000 mattress 😦🤌
[+7] u/soad1331: Biggest pump n dump I ever did see. Time to buy poots 🌈
[+7] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: We're basically pumping because oil went down. Oil went down because of reasons... Not sure which but yeah
[+7] u/ki3ran8793: Net and yahoo isn't dead he was just AI from the start 🤔
[+7] u/One_Impression_2253: guys, jerome speaks wednesday. this shit isn’t going anywhere until then
[+7] u/trumpdiego: that's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Powell to you sir
[+7] u/Immediate_Type4095: I went all in on qqq calls friday at market close and was anxious the whole weekend 😂
[+7] u/wierdjokes: With how cheap these fuckass shahed drones are, they can keep this strait closed forever unless literal warships start hauling oil 5 barrels at a time.
[+7] u/emanresu711: Not sure why it’s going up
[+7] u/killainvest: The guy above me is holding 655p and it shows…….. ⬆️ 😆
[+7] u/rocier: uh, we reccommend you by good stocks. thats our professional reccomendation. instead of buying bad stocks, uh, we think you should buy good stocks. thats our thing
[+7] u/CulturalConclusion76: bears win again, puts at 670 always wins
[+7] u/spyputs1: Mike Johnson would love getting pounded out there
[+7] u/penelope5674: It’ll be too funny is nvda end up in red today
[+7] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: Closed my oil short. Made very little. My account was in YOLO mode and it was bothering my mind too much. Good luck yall, see you never (15 minutes)
[+7] u/ckami_91: 🌽 is now a safe haven asset
LMFAOOO
[+7] u/spyputs1: So who’s he negotiating a peace deal with if he doesn’t know who the leaders are?
[+7] u/LasyKuuga: >META 20% layoff
The wagie life looking precarious
[+7] u/Axonum: SNDK and MU what the actual fuck
[+7] u/ManyManufacturer6090: Everyone’s buying calls, dump it.
[+7] u/31andnotdone: 11am and i only have 3 positions
self control is my forte
[+7] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: As soon as you put a buying order into Robinhood the cost increases. Pure corruption
[+7] u/Roxorek: VIX -15%
war over apparently
[+7] u/FickleMeasurement627: How in the hell are we green right now lol
[+7] u/Haikoe: War over, recession cancelled
[+7] u/Iscratchmybutt: I’m still 50% cash… cuz im conservative and require a high margin of safety… im a real investor
[+7] u/Level_Counter3062: Today is your day to exit I repeat today is your day to exit
[+7] u/phagebiscotti: Bought SPY $680c 4/2 at open and not looking for a day or two (see you in 15 minutes)
[+7] u/Aromatic-Ad-6244: Someone take the phone away from 🥭 . He's gonna fuck the pump up
[+7] u/OptionsHuduga: Where's that tard who was happy to sell all his NBIS last week on the pump at slightly above breakeven after being a bag holder forever?
RIGHT HERE. I'M RIGHT HERE. Please go ahead and AMA.
[+7] u/DrElkSnout: * ***Trump declares 'victory' while simultaneously urging coalition help:*** *President Trump claimed the US has "essentially defeated Iran" and vowed "we will finish the job," while pressing NATO allies and other countries to join a naval coalition to reopen the Strait of Hormuz.*
lol
"Mission Accomplished"
[+7] u/Cristian7x: so let me get this straight... I can't day trade because I'm broke. How do you expect me to make money? Investing and waiting???
[+7] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: smell that? its the shit winds ricky
[+7] u/LetsConsultTheMap: "If some of y'all could start driving big ships through so we can see if they did it would be appreciated"
[+7] u/arbitraryBlue: Damn, he's yapping about random shit now lol
[+7] u/Far-Assistance8605: Can we just dump now
[+7] u/trainwreck001: Reuters - Earlier Monday, U.S. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent said the United States is "fine" with some Iranian, Indian and Chinese ships going through the Strait of Hormuz for now, adding that any action to mitigate higher prices would depend on how long the war lasts.
LMAO...
THE US DOES NOT CONTROL THE STRAIT AND IRAN DOES NOT NEED THEIR PERMISSION...
ACTUALLY IT IS THE OPPOSITE.
OIL $300
[+7] u/damnthatbooty: Forgot about the Jensen shit today was holding puts getting wrecked
[+7] u/ajibtunes: The Economist : If the Strait of Hormuz remains closed just until the end of the month, some analysts reckon crude could surge to $150 or even $200 a barrel. That would be a recipe for global recession
[+7] u/No_Ranger_3151: Trump cashing out the trumpcoin cash
[+7] u/HwangingAround: Bloomberg: Potted meat and Vienna sausage prices skyrocket as Strait of Hormel remains impassable
[+7] u/pussinbuuts: weekend doom and then monday boom
literally every single time
[+7] u/Overall-Fold-9720: Turns out the "I'll tweet about a coalition, then they will have no choice but to join"
Did not work
[+7] u/NunuTitobu: Why we mooning? Something Mango or Khamenei said?
[+7] u/King_Tyler: 🥭 doesn’t even know what he’s asking for help with
[+7] u/Haboubiii: Country is at war and this retard is talking about renovations
[+7] u/colinr813: This nimrod is still rambling?
[+7] u/MuchProfessional1738: I think we will go up or down today
[+7] u/Particular-Cake-6430: Art of the deal - you cant lose a deal if you do not know what you are doing
[+7] u/Solid-Season9984: #THIS PUMP IS FAKE AND GHEY
[+7] u/Head_Welcome_4933: Nasdaq just straight up 500 points just because of short term puts lmao
[+7] u/drpa1n: Oil climbing again. Did Bessent run out of tariff money to short the futures?
[+7] u/Broad-Belt-5888: We’re going to visit $625 before we visit $700. There is a giant V forming, we’re not even half way down the left side of it yet though.
Look at this mess. There no way to get out clean. The damage that’s already been done won’t be realized for weeks yet.
[+7] u/borkdpasito: SPY is about to go up in flames - oily flames
[+7] u/Scared-Army313: mm picks oddjob in 007, makes you use a madcatz controller, turns off the console if you get ahead at any point
[+7] u/pussinbuuts: 🥭 press conference scheduled at 11:45
so like probably get ready to tune in at like 12:30 or smth
[+7] u/TowelOld743: We went from "Iran closed the strait" to "the strait is actually open" to "we're actually controlling the strait and we'll allow Iranian tankers to pass for the good of the economy"
[+7] u/Civil_Toaster: Arabian niiiiiiights like Arabian daaaaaaaays
[+7] u/Dependent-Media-1857: obliterated alright lol
[+7] u/Best_Sherbert_9481: I should’ve held my puts, this dude is not good for the market😂
[+7] u/Electronic-Advisor72: Did 🥭 just complain that other people have their wives with them and his is missing?
[+7] u/jogolagey: I’d eat my shoe for a -0.5% 5 minute candle
[+7] u/Weak_Commercial_7124: Whats with the ceiling.
[+7] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #breaking:Nvidia to build a floating data center on the straight of homos
[+7] u/TokiAsuma: Wow, +130$ today. I just know later this week I’m gonna lose at least -5k so does this even matter
[+7] u/Aggressive_Bit_91: I see bessent is hard at work shoveling money into shorting oil futes today.
[+7] u/SouthNice7324: SPY movement is so odd. It just makes no sense any mora. A couple of years ago, you could wait for decent entry points, set ups etc. now it is just massive algos trading against each other. It’s not trading anymore, it’s gambling
[+7] u/mayorolivia: Sandisk up 200% YTD selling mp3 players and thumb drives. Imagine when they get into AI
[+7] u/UnivalveX: the fact that QQQ was less than 600 for more than a day is a miracle lmao
[+7] u/jroache: We green cause no real change in war news, nvidia event and another trump conference today.
[+6] u/FrostingOk2692: I once again regret not buying more MU a few months ago. I also will still not buy more.
[+6] u/soad1331: Utterly shocking how oil would go and do this with nothing being solved.
[+6] u/Low_Programmer1814: Yes. You just cant short the market. Full manipulation.
[+6] u/fightoraccept: Guess you can't trade at Starbucks. As soon as I enter it's "where's ur pants sir" BS. 😒
[+6] u/rcantu314: Oil back to its natural habitat, drilled to the earths core
[+6] u/---Right--Tackle---: I survived the Great Recession of the last 3 weeks
[+6] u/Jon472: I can't believe this thing survived the weekend
[+6] u/Dangerous_Time_1450: So let’s me get this straight. We are pumping because Iran is letting other countries thru as long as they don’t support the us? Oh and China is getting ready to make a move on Taiwan Wooo spy 1000 eoy
[+6] u/LisaSu92: Why’s market pumping?
[+6] u/vandammes: NBIS...THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING. IF YOU WANT ANOTHER DIP ITS NOT HAPPENING THIS IS THE DIP LMFAO
[+6] u/Moepenmoes: Last couple of hours: Pretty much all EU countries said "Nah thx gl tho" to 🥭's demand for EU countries to join the war
And the market is green?
[+6] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: The more you look at or trade off of very short time candles the more you are trading against computers and let me tell you you make a shitty computer.
Don’t do it. I don’t even look at sub 15 min candles
[+6] u/financiallythriving: Imagine not selling 0dtes immediately when you are up and watching them expire worthless EOD
[+6] u/A55BAG: Bessent probably is short more oil than there is in SPR by now. Someone should demand physical delivery 🤣
[+6] u/BigShmokeBuffer: Jensen gonna announce today new NVDA chips allow you to time travel…
NVDA still closes at 182
[+6] u/31andnotdone: did we protect them when we liberated them with tariffs?
[+6] u/Captain_Lameson: Man, eff this manipulated market
[+6] u/OrdinaryMix4013: you can tell he is shitting his pants right now
[+6] u/hfbvm2: We are pounding it hard - DJT
[+6] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: Puts seem too obvious...maybe fake dump followed by a pump followed by theta?
[+6] u/miata_only: > "I'm gonna give you to the count of ten, to get your ugly, yella, no-good keister off my property, before I pump your guts full of lead!"
--IRGC probably
[+6] u/HazardousRhombus: Blizzard warning. We’re now in the Dairy Queen timeline
[+6] u/PandoraBot: Some dude said he was gonna buy calls on USO and puts on SPY at open
[+6] u/jawndell: Why don’t people realize the economy is recession proof now??? Nothing will make the market crash because everyone knows it’ll eventually bounce back anyway.
[+6] u/Antique_Bat5003: Why didn't anyone tell me that out of the money 0DTE contracts are so cheap?
[+6] u/Wrath_FMA: I have to say I love this market, for someone who only likes to hold 0dte for 30minutes it's a paradise
[+6] u/ebfeebfe: DOJ ASKS JUDGE BOASBERG TO RECONSIDER RULING THAT QUASHED POWELL SUBPOENAS
# JEROME POWELL DID NOTHING WRONG!
[+6] u/dontlikeyacutG: $680 lottos to offset put loss lol
[+6] u/TokiAsuma: I just know a dump is coming. I just don’t know when
[+6] u/Individual-Motor-167: Headline bessent is allowing tankers through. No, Iran is allowing China and India tankers through.
If that's the reason markets are up, that's been ongoing.
I think we're up due to negotiations. If no deal is reached by Friday, look out.
[+6] u/Gom_KBull: # LITERALLY MILYUNS AND MILYUNS AND MILYUNS OF BARRELS
[+6] u/Aggravating_Sir_4709: This is great news for the out of touch.
[+6] u/Imgoin2brich: If you bought NVDA 8 months ago, you've made 0% return even AFTER hearing nothing but AI AI AI being pumped gor a year now
Let that sink in
NVDA peaked
[+5] u/n1ck90z: bers at the bottom of the strait
[+5] u/sloanemonroe: Looks like the government reloaded their brokerage account with about $20 billion to buy all of this back up.
[+5] u/ThinkingOfTheOldDays: western nations are going to print soooo much money soon.
[+5] u/Force_Hammer: The market said to me: "I hate your puts, I hate your calls, and I hate YOU in particular! 🤬"
[+5] u/throwawaydonaldinho: ber gonna be so upset when they wake up, at noon.
[+5] u/Creative-Package6213: Another low volume pump...
[+5] u/Important_Yoghurt722: I like how he said death was bad because he liked him LOL
[+5] u/spyputs1: This man is confused af
[+5] u/SoloOutdoor: Better get that tennis elbow fixed so you can man the fry station
[+5] u/Impossible-Fun2027: He better does something for his own range bound stock
[+5] u/WeakPeak1015: Remember, you’re not wrong, you’re just early! Double down on your losing position today!
[+5] u/mousepop321: 2016: “Want your kid to have job security and good pay? Get him into code, coding is the future”
2026: “Suprise pikachu emoji”
[+5] u/4th_down_syndrome: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+5] u/JugoShvili: Some of y’all are cool, don’t come to power hour today
[+9] u/geddyclaus: We are still in a Kangaroo market. Puts for tomorrow
[+9] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: What war? The one that we won last week?
[+8] u/Ecomonist: My mom \[66\], retired at 57 on a government pension, told me that nobody wants to work anymore and that is why the country is failing. I wish boomers knew how hypocrisy works. I wish I knew about pensions before choosing a career.
[+8] u/Tay_Tay86: This is one of the ways that down trends absolutely eviscerate traders. Buy the dip habits can get absolutely smashed if you don't recognize the shift in regime fast enough. We're clearly in a down trend. A 1% blip up is not that meaningful.
[+8] u/itsnotshade: Generally bullish but the idea we’re pumping on a strait of hormuz coalition is laughable. Political suicide for any foreign leader to put their navy resources in the hottest area for Israel/Tariff king
[+8] u/Jinhe0529: why is NVDA rug pulled?
[+8] u/fire_alarmist: There is no war in ba sing se.
[+8] u/No_Bat5023: OIL already up $1 since he started talking
[+8] u/SuggamadexRocuronium: I made $10 shorting the market during that small downturn. As a result of my trading genius, I will be the headline speaker and the next World Economic Forum.
[+8] u/FelixMumuHex: Everyone in here is legitimately regarded
[+8] u/MoistAbuelita: SPY stole the new supreme leader’s leg for its next leg up. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
[+8] u/hakan_loob44: Bro's making Jeb Bush sound like Chris Rock.
[+8] u/Ok-Bid-5378: is market closed or wtf is this volume
[+8] u/54108216: If Mangolini says that there’s a coalition of countries ready to keep the strait open, we should believe him.
It’s not his fault that all those countries go to a different school in Canada.
[+8] u/HeadMasterpiece9372: Theoretically, you can have sex with a dollar and not a bitcoin
[+8] u/Sam_Vicious2: This shit aint tradeable
[+7] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Trump says war will end soon and cost negligible.
[+7] u/Rohat19: freak the fuck out and buy everything
[+7] u/TomorrowSavings7579: Why everyone anti- jensen now? Wtf happened?
[+7] u/Slow-Information-847: That is it for today. Tomorrow will be another desperate press conference
[+7] u/dumbest-bastard: K Pop Demon Hunters deserved the win. Congrats 👏
[+7] u/bluen: Imagine they made a captcha to let through robots and weed out humans
[+7] u/stuffofftheroof: Oil down 4%
Gas prices up 10%
Who are the real MMs
[+7] u/itsnotshade: Rambling has led to him having predicted 9/11
[+7] u/Competitive_Ride: He’s the type to message a girl you’re ugly anyways after she rejects him
[+7] u/Big_Red_Dogs: Just once it’d be nice to hold onto morning gains. 3k up at breakfast, red by close.
[+7] u/7fingersDeep: world's second greatest pumper is back at it.
Leon says Tessler is going to build its own chip foundry.
Ok Leon. Right after FSD, Roadster 2, a million robots, ...
[+7] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: Morgan Stanley says the correction phase is close to ending.
Good luck bolz. -35% confirmed.
[+7] u/Snoo23417: This would never happen in the Metaverse.
[+7] u/Icy_Assist4467: When Bessent stutters he is lying
[+7] u/Wickrest: Any news on why it's pumping premarket or is it just vibes?
[+7] u/Austin_Destroyer: Oh look, it's Friday again. See ya'll at 665 in a bit.
[+7] u/talaabo: What in the regarded world is going on? What about Kharg?
[+7] u/FarWay9137: Back down to SPY $667 rip bulls
[+7] u/LarsTarkas: Nvidia anal destruction has commenced
[+7] u/necarpenter417: According to this thread, bulls and bers are both delusional and retarded, this pump is real and fake, strait is open and gonna be bombed any minute.
How am I supposed to gamble based on this?
[+7] u/Sea-Refrigerator7919: 671 from support to resistance it over bois
[+7] u/potato111a: NVDA 200 after Yensen announce CPU or what
[+7] u/BlitzComet95: I’m a resident bull but buying calls here seems like bait
[+7] u/InevitableAd2436: The only reason this pumps every morning is because of automated 401k buys
Just wait until boomers start moving out of their target date funds and into inflation protected securities
Just the TIPS
[+7] u/Neverluckyinosrs: 2% type of day to wipe out 2 weeks worth of puts
[+7] u/I_am_Nerman: Massive puts coming in on SPY, NVDA and... Taiwan etf, wtf
[+7] u/Affectionate-Idea690: Jensen gonna pump this as it should be over 200. It's time.
[+7] u/Tay_Tay86: Okay what did he just say
[+7] u/OptionGamble: So nobody is allowed to make money with this movement
[+6] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: Why would oil go down? Is mid 90s per barrel where it'll land or is it moving on false hope in the war ending
[+6] u/OkLength37: Mods??? Stay on top of this as I’m going all in
[+6] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: Get out while you can
[+6] u/k3t4mine: BREAKING: I, u/k3t4mine, am announcing that I am also allowing Iranian ships through the Strait of Hormuz.
I am also announcing that anyone is free to connect and use my neighbours wifi. Unsure of password.
[+6] u/0DTEKing: Taco is speaking at 11:45am, be prepared for more lies
[+6] u/Ghost-1969: But but some random island with 90% of Iran oil was attacked why is everything pumping - berrorist
[+6] u/Ok-Barracuda39: Remember, it's not your fault you are poor. You were just not born wealthy. :(
[+6] u/BrainMale: I had a feeling we’d be getting a huge dump today… just wasn’t expecting it so early
[+6] u/FxSpecter: I sold, it's now gonna moon. You're welcome.
[+6] u/SilverSoldier9: Mango is unironically hilarious 😭😭
[+6] u/to_the_star4: \-->🛢OIL🛢 <--The Trump administration invoked the [Defense Production Act](https://www.foxnews.com/category/us/economy/regulation) to order oil company to restart shuttered offshore oil rig operations in California -->🛢OIL🛢 <-- world wide ocean drilling 🛢🚀... RIG ...🚀Transocean Ltd.. lets get those rig pumping for profits
[+6] u/CasherburyTales: My work is sending me to Dubai and they said they don’t care if it’s a war zone
[+5] u/catluck: You had one job China. The blood of these puts is on your hands.
[+5] u/Skeezerman: Guys, this pump will definitely and is not fake or gay.
[+5] u/CMDR_Shepard96: There is no way we aren't about to get rug pulled..
[+5] u/Same-Brilliant2014: Bout to rebuy the same 670p i sold earlier today for less 😎
[+8] u/Stealthless: If you bought Sandisk last Monday, you'd be up a fortune.
[+8] u/Majestic-Bass6772: HIGHLY SOPHISTICATED AK-47s
[+8] u/Independent_Term5790: Something mad sus is happening
[+7] u/Abe2025: Lol pumping for absolutely no reason. What a manipulative market.
[+7] u/TransformersScorge: Intel went from +6% to red lol
[+7] u/oldprecision: U.S. letting Iran use their water path. Comedy gold.
[+7] u/csekseni1: If you’re buying calls at rsi > 70 I have news for you
[+7] u/Standard_Tea8250: best market for swing trading
[+7] u/WarmCan3034: Omg this is so flat it’s like worse than watching paint dry
[+7] u/NazgulSandwich: Jail everyone on Wall Street this is retarded
[+7] u/TreGet234: Getting absolutely flooded with doomer videos from investing channels on youtube. The faceripper V will be legendary.
[+7] u/saintmitchy: It’s like the US and China are in a constant battle of Chess but the US keeps losing the game while China is still on its way to the match
[+6] u/Beneficial-Age-9293: Here we go again, green in premarket. Let's see who can remember things from last week.
[+6] u/PeachScary413: Imagine betting against the market when that is 100% the only thing Donald Pump will prop up no matter the cost, lmaoo 🤌
[+6] u/Majestic-Bass6772: AI would never be able to replicate this guy
[+6] u/kalakesri: Bro got his death date leaked by 🥭
[+6] u/AGigatonicxs: Oil bulls praying for ww3 disgusting
[+6] u/spsteve: This seems sus as fuck to me.
[+6] u/Fernyfern7: Sir they hit the second whore moose
[+6] u/NeetoBurrritoo: Everyone’s AI trading bots heard trillion and slapped BUY
[+6] u/Hot-Performancy: Bears really thought holding puts over the weekend was free money 😅😂
[+6] u/Wise_Ticket_5093: I would absolutely haaaate for spy to tank to 660 today that would suck sooooo bad 👀👀
[+6] u/xKovaRez: Puts are getting pricey 🤔
[+6] u/housemouse431: these days it just feels like the move happens before retail has a chance.
i only make money if i just scalp on swings, holding anything over 24 hours is useless.
[+5] u/No-Butterfly-9989: I DECLARE THE HORMUZ GAY TO BE OPENED NOW AND MY CALLS TO PUMP 2500%
[+5] u/BillyShears2015: Which prints first NVDA calls or Spy puts?
[+8] u/SanchoVilla91: Pounding people all day!!
[+8] u/WrexyWrex: market goes up and market goes down, can't explain that
[+8] u/falling_knives: So SPY is basically just NVDA.
[+8] u/Les7X: SO now everyoine would rather deal directly with Iran for safe passage than having to talk to mango. The art of the deal at its finest
[+8] u/B-Jamz: You just now don’t know what’s going on?
[+7] u/AnxiousPilot007: What the f is talking about.
Only thing I know about it is he has demantia
[+7] u/Alsabiedes: The price of oil is definitely not being manipulated. Thank you for your attention on this matter.
[+7] u/thowthembowz: man overnight traders get double the move we do
[+7] u/RageQuitHero: 8 straight red candles on 1minute
bear trap
[+7] u/Interbrett: He sounds rough - bro take a weekend off
[+7] u/Comprehensive-Eye547: No one wants to help retard
[+7] u/natural_degenerate12: We dont need anybody!
-help open strait plz
[+7] u/highlanderquestion90: Low volume day, super low
[+7] u/emperor_dinglenads: There once was a man from Uranus
Who thought he'd be rich and be famous
He started to trade, and lost all he made
Now makes money by using his anus.
[+6] u/DragonFruit-_-777: If you wanted to make the market pump, you should have Jensen Huang president instead of 🥭 LOL
[+6] u/Visible_Sentence_399: Listening to Golden by kpop demon hunters on repeat while buying everything
[+6] u/LurkerPatrol: Me: Trades AMD
Money: Absolutely destroyed
Me: How could the market do this to me?
[+6] u/ZealousidealGrab1827: Have we opened a Presidential golf course on Kharg Island yet?
[+6] u/ResolutionAny8159: The market is not even pretending to be real or straight
[+6] u/somecleverphrase: Already getting price increase notification from vendors because of gas prices. some are reasonable others are just price gouging...
[+6] u/superscarab: i was worried about the paint job at the Kennedy Center
[+6] u/kwarknagel: Premium incoherent word salad with a generous market dump drizzle coming right up
[+5] u/TracyM45: Everyone pulls out on Friday. So back in Monday
[+5] u/aletrn: Bull market, bear market, kangaroo market, now sloth market 🙄