▶ Full Post Text
[+5] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: **OPEN THE CASINO YOU CRAZY BASTARDS!!!!**
[+44] u/joycaptain: **SHOW US THE CANNONS YOU CRAZY BASTARDS**
[+33] u/Any_Bluebird1765: I dreamed i was at JPM making 6 figures banging my abusive boss with a sexual fetish but woke up at wendys
[+30] u/Retaining-Wall: Look, I'm not saying I want to be a billionaire playboy, I just want to make out good enough to stop working, buy a house, and live my life as a semi-recluse, devoting my time fully to learning languages and restoring antique furniture, living that eccentric secret millionaire trope, and then I find out someone close to me is about to have their house foreclosed on and I show up with an envelope full of cash and say "no I insist I don't need this, please accept it," leaving them baffled but appreciative, and I go back to my worry-free existence restoring Scandinavian midcentury modern bankers desks IT'S NOT MUCH TO ASK FOR GODDAMMIT.
[+29] u/MooseyGoosey69: Full porting JPM, like the culture there
[+27] u/BFox1982: I'd lick Lorna's butthole and she wouldn't even need to pay me.
[+21] u/No_Somewhere3288: Anyone got a call back yet for a JP Morgan internship? Waiting impatiently
[+20] u/vermilli21: Can AI hurry up and take my job. I’m tired of driving to work
[+18] u/Square_Toe_31: RDDT please rich to 200 so i can buy some food
[+17] u/powerboner: I WISH MY FISH HEAD WIFE HAD BIG CANNONS
[+16] u/A55BAG: RDDT will run up to ATH before next earnings
[+16] u/Psychological_Fly109: If SPY doesnt hit 730 today then the wife will be posting her feet pics on OF
She is going to be so pissed when she finds out
[+16] u/The_Juice_Gourd: Imagine being a ber married to a wife with tiny cannons lmaooo
[+15] u/KittyLover-7: There’s a ber in here I’ve noticed who only ever comes here on red days screaming bulls are stupid, genuinely never seen him on green day
Don’t think I don’t see through your cowardice you gey ber
[+15] u/Smart_Sheepherder302: That Indian boy squandered an opportunity of a lifetime
[+14] u/__nameless____: lower the oil price you crazy bastard
[+14] u/WSBnoobxor: Rddt about to dip at open and then rip into the fucking stratosphere
[+14] u/J_da_CPA: Imagine not trading purely off vibes
[+13] u/arbitraryBlue: Gym time baby, lessssss goooooo
[+13] u/brute-forced: So I just watched a video of a robot in China picking and packing groceries in a store and replacing the workers, and it got me thinking…
So if a robot could pick and pack, how much picking and packing would a robot pick and pack if a robot could pick and pack? It would pick and pack all the picking and packing it could pick and pack, picking and packing groceries off shelves all day.
But if robots keep picking and packing and people stop picking and packing, then the people who were picking and packing aren’t buying what the robots are picking and packing.
And if more robots keep picking and packing and even more jobs stop picking and packing, then fewer people are buying all that picking and packing.
So how much picking and packing would those robots keep picking and packing if nobody’s buying what they’re picking and packing?
At some point all that picking and packing just turns into robots picking and packing less and less, until they’re picking and packing nothing, because there’s nothing left to pick and pack.
[+13] u/iwasshotbyatigeronce: "You ***better*** be rock ***hard*** by ***the*** time I get back from lunch"
Said no woman to me, ever..
[+12] u/HyperSensitive-Mods: \*\*\*OPEN THE F’ING CASINO YOU CRAZY BASTARDS\*\*\* THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER. 🥭
[+11] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: RDDT I swear if you give away all your gains
[+11] u/qaswexort: If the JP Morgan thing didnt happen, do you think the accuser wrote the fanfic about Lorna himself?
[+11] u/Le_Flight_Chief: Literally thinking of finally getting into SNDK calls…every trade I’ve done has failed this year
[+11] u/coreyneil: I wanna be a little brown boy
[+11] u/Micro-so-soft: Cramer, keep my RKLB out yo goddamn mouth!
[+11] u/PhotoSpheres: Let’s see what’s stronger, Sandisk’s insane earnings or me buying it premarket 🤔
[+10] u/awetfartruinedmylife: I put 12k yesterday on reddit and waking up with 14k. will sell at open
[+10] u/Benromaniac: This AI trading app I bought has lost me thousands and a wife. Wtf. Which AI apps should I use? Anyone tried Grindr trader?
[+10] u/wongbonger: reddit needs to bring back custom emojis
[+10] u/A55BAG: I have noticed, that nobody is talking about BTC anymore. Stocks are at ath, but nobody is interested about crypto anymore.
[+10] u/youdirtyhoe: I liked that she was head of “leveraged finance”. My type of girl!
[+10] u/qaswexort: JPM on the daily board 💀
[+10] u/sloanemonroe: Today marks 9 full weeks of the strait being closed. So I guess the prediction of if the strait is closed for 4 weeks there will be a global recession was wrong.
[+10] u/DatsMaPurse_IDKU: Gonna buy a JPM lotto. Just because tits are always bullish
[+9] u/TickTockTaudit: Remember Jennifer Aniston in Horrible Bosses? And we were all like “that’s not real. That would never happen”.
[+9] u/liikenneaksioma: even when the SPY hits 1 000 there will be a guy saying "looks bearish"
[+9] u/aniote: Reddit CEO : " AI. "
RDDT stock : +19%
[+9] u/Suspicious_Ad6172: Indian boy doesn’t need to climb the corporate ladder. He found the elevator straight to a payout
[+9] u/Bichael-Murry: must be a jamie dimon masterplan to bring workers back in office
[+8] u/iwasshotbyatigeronce: Is it that much to ask to be sexually harassed at work once in a while?
[+8] u/Psychological_Fly109: Mods please pin hotline for bers thanks
[+8] u/aniote: Was convinced I had sold 50% of my GOOG shares last week. Turns out I had sold only a third. This is the equivalent feeling of finding money in the street
[+8] u/S0Anon: There is no "exit liquidity". This is an index of the most profitable companies to ever exist, not a shitcoin
[+8] u/Okaywahevr: the naked man fears no pickpocket
[+8] u/disrepaired: ATH after ATH
Nothing ever happens
[+8] u/JayMurdock: Stfu and buy RKLB everyone...
[+8] u/callsonreddit: JPM CEO 100% read lawsuit and met her after
[+8] u/Few_Foundation3409: IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME DAMNIT!!
[+8] u/youreaditfirst: GOOGLE is really going to be the winner 10 years from now. They are in their own league and no one can come close
[+8] u/_rockthemike: Guys, I bought a Google call on March 31st. Best trade of my life so far at $7500 profit 120% in a month. I’m over the moon 🌕
[+7] u/BFox1982: I want to travel, but I'm damn near bankrupt.
[+7] u/unemployedferret: Come on Reddit, give me 300 by July
[+7] u/Professional_Con_007: Looking at AMD above 350 and I lost money when it dumped to 182 last month fml
[+7] u/joycaptain: SNDK getting sold to see calcium cannons at the strip club
[+7] u/teh_herper: Dang RDDT already fading premarket gains lol let my calls at least appreciate 🤌🤌🤌
[+7] u/mtnrnnr802: Lorna touched me and it shows. I just don’t remember it 😔.
[+7] u/Tumping: BUY RDDT TODAY - shit is going to double couple months
[+7] u/whomakesthetendies: Hello fellow bagholders
[+7] u/Horcsogg: The market isn't rigged, you just pick shitty stocks, lol the f I get attacked for? :(
[+7] u/riteofpass: Why all the JPM jokes what did I Miss
[+7] u/WSB-mods-are-: What if it collapses 5 minutes before open? Civilization I mean
[+7] u/jfwelll: I would totally smash that lorna girl. Why did he even complain, is he ghey?
[+7] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: That JP Morgan employee is just listing off his fantasies about his boss. He had so many dreams of her cannons and she wouldn’t give them up so he needed to do something drastic
[+7] u/collegefootballfan69: Can you just imagine being young and having a boss like her??? Literally every young guys wet dream.
[+6] u/ToughRhubarb8300: I hate this money, open the casino already!
[+6] u/finderinderura: FUCKING EUROPOOOOOR MARKETS DONT WANT TO OPEN THE CASIONO FOR SOME STUPID REASOON LIKE THE MATRIX ACCEPTING DAY. ONLY WAY TO GET RICH IS GAMBLING OR GAMBLING ON YOUR SPERM DONOR.
Thanks for the attention
[+6] u/dontslambro: Well here comes another shitty birthday weekend.
[+6] u/awetfartruinedmylife: Meta is a layoff company and that's the only thing it should focus on
[+6] u/Envirant: BTW the market is about to go down a bit. Why you might ask off of great earnings? Because the market is impossible to time, so even though it seems like it should be going up right now your calls will get cooked.
[+6] u/Able_Durian_1832: Human life isn’t just about semis and memory. It is more than that
[+6] u/Frozen_Shades: Hey Alexa play Prison of Flesh by Lorna Shore
[+6] u/GoogleKushforLunch: 750 by the end of summer easy
[+6] u/dash_trash4255: I AINT GHEY NO MORE! I AM DELIVERED! (Morgan freeman: The market crashed that very next week).
[+6] u/L2F_mens_glutes: #JPM best job ever mayne
[+6] u/TreGet234: Remember last october when literally every sector, stock and asset class reached ath virtually simultanuously.
[+6] u/ggtfcjj: Reddit opening flat or what lmao
[+6] u/teh_herper: Alright John Apple shoot your shot and prove you're worthy of House Apple's name
[+6] u/Indra_Sx: Boobs and blowjobs ? Must be nice
[+6] u/Boromir-Wants-: Imagine being a Bear and being so wrong about everything?
[+6] u/Mcnuttey91: Yeah yeah the wealthy are gonna flee new york...now is that cash or credit for your 20$ latte and protein parfait
[+6] u/vermilli21: What’s that saying? Sell in May go away?
[+6] u/iwasshotbyatigeronce: Could you imagine being threatened by a woman in suit, with her shirt off talking about her cannons?
[+6] u/tomato232: RDDT: $250 by the end of May, $500 EOY🚀🚀🚀
[+6] u/AdOk3638: Where are this type of executive when i was working in the office 😡. Oh right, I’m just ugly, LMAO🤌
[+5] u/Trashpanda7193: People shilling fake meat again
[+5] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: time for the daily zyn and espresso combo to blow my anoos out 💩
[+5] u/Fhyzikz: Woah why the pullback on SPY? I was expecting 723 by now and then 730 by lunch and then 740 by eod. Does 🥭 know?
[+5] u/solidsneeze: may the first be with you
[+5] u/sufficiently7777: lol all the doom ber comments. You guys have been saying this shit for weeks
[+5] u/deepsvar: 800 possible by July?
[+5] u/No-Relationship8261: I am not a bol because I believe Aİ will increase productivity. I am a bol because Trump will turn US dollar into Turkish lira.
We are not the same.
Calls on anything and everything against USD
[+5] u/annoyed_meows: Rddt is a good little whore sammich today
[+5] u/whomakesthetendies: *manifest* black Friday
[+5] u/Sad_Star9007: we doing space again today?
[+5] u/ElkQuiet1541: BREAKING NEWS: Pakistan believes a deal between Iran and USA is within reach (from reddit /oil and arab news and cnn) we have a new (maybe the 5th) framework of a deal, means 🚀 today
[+5] u/BullPropaganda: Just remember. You fucking suck at this
[+5] u/NoodHigga69: Currently in tokyo. Showed my small penis to police officier to start yen carry trade unwindation.
[+5] u/teh_herper: We don't need 23 hour stock trading what we really need is 24/7 options trading
[+5] u/Top-Meaning2626: I just want to get Lorna'd
God that is fucking awesome
[+5] u/Fhyzikz: How many calls are you guys getting on SPY today? Thinking of going all in 0dte 730c with 90k at open. It's literally risk-free
[+5] u/tika_dengu: H1Bs at JPM stealing more than jobs
[+30] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: - Gets job at banking organization
- well paying postion
- white collar work
- gonna be rich
- boss is a hot blonde
- boss has large cannons
- boss wants to fuck
Why cant anything like this happen to me?
[+23] u/Significant_Speed854: New ATH in premarket for no reason?
[+20] u/Apple2o: No please, I cannot take it anymore. No more blowjobs against my will
[+16] u/Jesus-Musk: 🚨 **Good morning fish heads 🚨**
[+16] u/ModeForJoe: I just realized this sub is completely useless, pointless, and worthless... I blend in perfectly
[+15] u/HypaHypa_: Drank too much can’t even pretend to mouse wiggle today pto time
[+14] u/AncientAd3846: Pumping this early is crazy.
[+14] u/jasperCrow: Sell in May you must be gay
[+13] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: Bought two shares of META yesterday
https://preview.redd.it/fy3x74jbniyg1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4568206625dcf9a5fc4548b56ae8f02712b7b574
[+13] u/hioman01: Pussy cash gang is waiting SPY 500 to full port $50 life savings
[+13] u/Aware_Secret_8910: "Google (GOOG) dipped 0.03% as investors reacted to mixed AI earnings reports and concerns about rising capital spending, lagging behind the market's 0.37% gain."
This is the kind of AI that is supposed to replace humans
[+13] u/captain_casino: Imagine making financial decisions because of an Axios headline lmao
[+12] u/knoqd_: Sell in May regret it everyday
[+12] u/Kattilaeikka: Just found out about the JP Morgan dommy mommy giving bj's at work. That has to be a psyop to get millions of applications.
[+12] u/FatFluffyFish: Ok, 725C 0DTE all in it is fk this
[+12] u/LeagueofData: SPY at 721 pre-market is fucking criminal.
[+12] u/twostroke1: “ya, I lost a shit ton of money because the stonk market went non stop vertical to all time highs”
If that sentence resonates with you, please consider making a doctors appointment to get checked for retardation.
[+11] u/No_Fig_7835: We are about to enter the “talks planned” phase of the cycle
[+11] u/MoleMan199: Buying puts before market close today will make me rich 🤑
[+11] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Market still moving on fake Iran news lmao
[+11] u/Rude_Assistance_4386: Holy shit look at those absolute cannons on SPY 😫
[+11] u/Thebaxxxx: We're all gonna make it
https://preview.redd.it/1s2lhmnxviyg1.jpeg?width=3584&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=699b6a875061d7245b4910636bb6af7f840c63e0
[+11] u/TrumpsCummyOnahole: I have an OBSCENELY tiny penis. SPY WILL fall today.
[+10] u/Purple_Bearkat: Imagine calling your wife a fish head in your wild fan fiction gooner lawsuit and having that paraded all over the internet.
I’d at least hide the knives.
[+10] u/FunctionOk8962: plz no more jpm mentions its gonna ruin my nofap streak!
[+10] u/booose6: Yes keep the fake positive news going axios my SPY 725 calls need it today
[+10] u/likamuka: This is the most disgusting market I have ever seen. NOTHING can stop the shameless pump.
[+10] u/Boheed: Yes it's manipulated, but the real question is whether they do pump & dump or a dump & pump
[+10] u/coolopinionlmao: the best part of the JPM fiasco is that no matter what the truth is, *someone* called his wife a 'fishhead' and *someone* referred to her tits as 'cannons', either way it's hilarious
truly a ray of sunshine in dark times
[+10] u/Comfortable-Sky7801: Of all the tech, your play is to short those 3? Please post positions so I can laugh later
[+9] u/IDontStandForCurls: I love when clients don't check their portfolios in between quarters and only look at quarterly statements and they completely miss the fact they were down during the first part of the strait BS.
'you're really good at your job, I thought it would be down'
Yes.
[+9] u/Extreme_Green_1708: HR at JP Morgan has to work today for the first time in 9 months, such a shame
[+9] u/Ok-Arm125: Gonna buy oil stocks to end the war and pump the market some more
[+9] u/Paul_Robert_: Red days are officially banned 🚫
[+9] u/Purple_Bearkat: Deep down, we are all little brown boys.
(Or at least want to be).
[+9] u/Emilio___Molestevez: bro there is so much blood when I wipe
[+8] u/Easy_Relation3549: OPEN THE FUCKIN' CASINO, YOU CRAZY BASTARDS! Praise be to Allah.
[+8] u/djln491: Girls with cannons don’t refer to them as cannons
[+8] u/Ok-Art6659: Today could be a hell of a FOMO day for tech.
[+8] u/pain474: Is there any ber left in this world?
[+8] u/rootyoot: The market priced in the war, priced in inflation, priced in tariffs, and priced me out. LOOKS LIKE CALLS IT IS
\-Rooty
[+8] u/AntiOriginalUsername: Unfortunately, it is extremely hilarious that we still pump half a point on each “peace proposal”. Like damn they aren’t even trying anymore, never seen stocks be in easy mode for this long.
[+8] u/External_Counter378: Bear-pocalypse today
[+8] u/BlakeTheDog: I've never traded through a blow-off top but this has to be what it feels like, right?
[+8] u/fomoandyoloandnogrow: Imagine wanting your kids to graduate having financial literacy but not knowing math.
💀
[+8] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: every Friday morning i think to myself "don't go full regard" but within 5 minutes of open im all in
[+8] u/saintmitchy: Before it was called Iran it was actually called Iwalk
[+8] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: how funny would it be if manngo's been negotiating with an AI this whole time
[+8] u/miata_only: I wonder how long until Lorna announces she's starting an OF it's more lucrative than her middle management job, you guys.
[+7] u/frogger1988: I am legitimately extremely suspicious of the low volume on SPY. But I dont actually know what it means lol
[+7] u/Due-Refrigerator2306: we will literally never see another red day
[+7] u/Apple2o: So many mentions of JPM it’s pinned now 😭😭😭😂
[+7] u/Several_Bread_9144: Did lorna have baby oil reserves at her house?
[+7] u/Syllabub_Visual: Remember, happiness equals money (lots and lots of it) and hot girlfriends. Anyone who tells you it’s about internal satisfaction is lying so don’t ever listen to them…
[+7] u/Shoganai_Hito: Pretty sure SNDK got knocked down because Wall Street was waiting for the production of tennis shoes manufacturing announcement
[+7] u/ripcord51: does anyone over 14 use RBLX wtf is bro talking about
[+7] u/Altair82: premarket shrek dong
that's our signal boys
[+7] u/k3t4mine: Why is it that whenever there's suspiciously timed, market positive, good ceasefire news, it's Barak Ravid at Axios. Bessent must be holding his wife and kids hostage. There's no other rational explanation.
[+7] u/Prestigious-Bother56: That sell in may saying is propaganda to get you to lose money
[+7] u/Jesus-Musk: **Let's go brown boy indians, today's the day, we're going back to 50,000**
[+7] u/PossibleLack835: IM JACKED TO THE TITS WITH OTM PUTS ON USO AND SPY. I NEED A CIRCUIT BREAKER ON EITHER ONE IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK
[+7] u/TippyTippyTippyTop: Cannons are the word of 2026 so far. Strong contender for word of the year.
[+7] u/jakeisarake: Another day another million bear scream
[+7] u/vwapnerd: Jacked to the CANNONS
[+7] u/rollinhating: At this point they can just recycle old news and the market will jump in 0.3% increments… No one gives a fk anymore if the war continues aslong as ”Peace deal on the way, maybe tomorrow, maybe in 10 years”
[+7] u/twostroke1: Gas up to $4.99 near me lol. Diesel at $5.99.
But fuck it, my stonks are at all time high baby.
[+7] u/Asleep-Strike4978: Nothing pumps the market like Axios hopium right before market opens
[+7] u/yoloswaggggggggg: Is there a tip line for reporting suspected Bers?
[+7] u/OrdinaryMix4013: DAMEE spy 720 didnt put any resistance like Erika K getting a fuck buddy soon after the events LMAOOOOO
[+7] u/Significant_Speed854: An Iranian diplomatic source has told Al Jazeera that the government submitted a new proposal to Pakistani mediators on Thursday:
We continue to still, as we never said we wouldn't, want and require uranium enrichment capabilities.
(I made this up, but probably still there).
Market shoots up.
[+7] u/daedalus_dance: We should stop joking about JP Morgan man, that shit isn't cool 😞 Having a fish headed wife is a real problem 😞
[+6] u/OrdinaryMix4013: jp Lorna gave u free seggs and u didnt want it? LMAOOOOO
[+6] u/BillyShears2015: See fellas, we just needed one brown boy Indian to prove that size *doesnt* matter
[+6] u/SettingSavings4024: Alright boys what's AMD and PLTR doing next week? I want a new car
[+6] u/LasyKuuga: I’m still not fully convinced the JPMorgan shit isn’t some Indian psyop
[+6] u/CallsOrPutsYES: #Well its going to be easy to recruit college grads to the JPM internship program
[+6] u/Shoganai_Hito: Gonna yolo $10k on 0dte SNDK $1100c at open.
Gonna be spam or kobe beef this weekend
[+6] u/FlatwormBig5514: We pumping because Iran sent in another proposal...which, you know, was going to happen no matter what. So the markets reaction to it is interesting.
[+6] u/Significant_Speed854: Legit traumatized going long on MCL futures (micro crude). The amount of massive red candles that have been burned.
I should just be retarded and just go long MES and stop thinking or analyzing anything.
[+6] u/Nubesrojas7: What the fuck happened to sell in may and go away?
[+6] u/SocraticGoats: Do not use the Lorn's name in vain! 😠
[+6] u/Genteel_Ole_Chap: What's the headline? Why the pump
[+6] u/Extreme_Green_1708: Let’s check my buying power…hmmm $1200 on a $250k account. Seems healthy
[+6] u/ev01ution: Time to revenge trade.
[+6] u/SnooEagles8897: I get my news on rddt
I get my nutt off on rddt
And I get my 💰 on RDDT
[+6] u/No-Put2311: Axios pump my MU bags
[+6] u/iYoloNDX0DTEs: If today is a massive green dildo day just to fuck the “sell in may” crowd that was front running yesterday, I’m here for it.
[+6] u/Knarre30: How can this market be so delusional about this Iran war. We pump every time about the same headline that "talks going well" and we never saw a result. What is this shit.
[+6] u/ripcord51: the only way to end the war is with these cannons
[+6] u/cbusoh66: SNDK and MU with P/E in single digits and you're buying what?
[+6] u/yoloswaggggggggg: ATH in the pre market, setting up for operation Ber Armageddon.
[+6] u/cbusoh66: I have a hot boss with big cannons, how can I become her sex slave?
[+6] u/Shoganai_Hito: wtf is open ai and why is it valued over $1T
[+6] u/DegenGonnaDegen: Guys, I deposited $50k into a new brokerage account and I'm NOT going to trade options. AMA
[+6] u/cbusoh66: Lorna just elevated to VP, working directly with Jamie Dimon
[+6] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: the \*puts\*...they \*call\* to me🫴
[+6] u/Initial-Magazine2169: Signed up to be 'cannon fodder'. Accidentally got myself shipped off to the strait.
[+6] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: I'm enjoying a nice little breakfast at a diner 🤗
[+6] u/Okami_The_Sun: To think that someone’s job is to go into the company account and rebuy the oil shares the Algo auto sold based on a tweet
[+6] u/twostroke1: This is starting to feel like a ponzi scheme.
I just put my money in and it automatically goes up risk free.
[+6] u/Me-Regarded: Feels like a good day to lose some money! I'm excited
[+6] u/I_am_Nerman: Japan straight up shorted oil for Bessent. If you're longing oil just know you're competing against central banks
[+6] u/OsamaBinBrowsin: Today’s the DAYYYY
All my gains over the past months wiped out by my Corgi’s surgery bill
Crouton why
[+6] u/grandfatherdog: Seeking alpha always sends me a push notification pre-market about the state of the market and didn't today, which I can't imagine is a good sign
[+6] u/No-Put2311: MU paying for the sins SNDK and WDC apparently committed
[+6] u/mhughes2595: Options won't be open for a few months on it. Unless they change those rules too.
[+5] u/Crazy_Reporter_7516: I actually think I am recession proof because I laid everyone off for AI
[+5] u/Ben_f157: JPM staying flat or Busty today?
[+5] u/Stmast: If u bought rddt ur alrdy down 5%, time for some bagholders
[+5] u/TipEmpty8429: Ok have my Irish Coffee and laptop. Ready to stare at red and green lines for 8 hours.
[+5] u/machinepeen: the itsy bitsy SPYder climber up the water spout
down came Iran and washed the SPYder out
up came JPM and dried up all the rain and the itsy bitsy SPYder climbed up her cannons again
[+5] u/Unique_username93_: This sub is being taken over by Lorna comments today, I see
[+5] u/Standard-Top-5942: Damn about 5 million people dropped medical insurance because the subsidies weren't extended. Hope no one ever gets sicks ever! Or maybe they can pay for it by taking loans against their meme stocks.
[+5] u/dmhoward843: WDC price target raised to $500
[+5] u/wallstreetdiva37: Believe it or not, calls. You crazy bastards!
[+5] u/Game3k: Space related stocks to moon the most $RKLB $PL
[+5] u/DegenGonnaDegen: I'm such a bitch not buying NOK yesterday
[+5] u/Initial-Magazine2169: Maybe I shouldn't have bought ONDS after 1000% run up ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
[+5] u/Jagged_Tide: Holy early morning spy liquidity spike
[+5] u/Delicious_Put_5857: oo nice another peace deal, i bet iran will give up control of hormuz and open it for all. just kidding they won't.
[+5] u/looool_k_libtard: Market and hedgies are attacking me. I am holding only good stocks like OPEN and movie theaters. Why do bad things happen to good people.
[+5] u/deathlyharry: AAPL: "We're requiring our customers to pay for their iPhones upfront, effective immediately."
stock plummets 99.99%, naturally
[+5] u/Delicious_Put_5857: maybe the peace deal will somehow retroactively produce and instantaneously ship around the world over 1 billion barrels of oil, or maybe that's impossible, it's tough to tell!
[+5] u/Ok-Art6659: NVDA 202,50c looks juicy
[+5] u/Initial-Magazine2169: H1-B visas about to skyrocket.
[+5] u/Crazy_Donkies: So, SNDK green by noon?
[+5] u/hankster221: SPY to 723 you didn't hear it from me
[+5] u/jerm2z: Where does one sign up for an Asian fish head wife?
[+5] u/Thebaxxxx: Anyone buying mag 7 stocks at this precise moment is betting on a future where these companies control the world with an iron fist. Thats really the only way youd see 25% gains over the next 5 years outside of insane inflation scenarios
[+5] u/Weak_Emu3659: People on here need 2 seats for themselves to fit on the airplane
# 😂😂😂😂
[+5] u/OkEnd9276: Sand dickers in shambles when their stock doesn’t pump 10% everyday
[+5] u/puffinnbluffin: I just wanna go on record and say I think it’s gonna dump after ripping at open.. I will of course not make any money regardless of what the market does
[+5] u/ev01ution: The only thing that will make me feel better about my lose is some big cannons on my face.
[+5] u/rcantu314: Apple about to full send DOW 50,000
[+5] u/TheYearGuesser: Should I take financial advice off of Instagram?
[+5] u/tristis_veritas: Man top of that K shape doing very well.
[+5] u/noahmfs: By the time the war is actually over spy will be 770 will all fake news to pump and it will shoot up 3% that day
[+5] u/GooglySoft: Tim apple came through
[+5] u/TraipseTraveller: That's it. That seals the deal. I am no longer a Sofi stock owner. An absolute disgrace of a company. In all my years of being a Sofi investor, I have never seen such a pathetic and a failure of a company. I will be taking my money to to BlackBerry where they know how to run a serious business
[+5] u/Upstairs_System_6257: Y'all need to let that jpm thing go already, shit has been proven to be a lie
[+5] u/I_am_Nerman: We got the regularly scheduled fake Iran headline = cue to pump
[+5] u/Jerikolol: 3 things in life are constant: Lorna, Cannons and SP750. And two of those things will happen today.
[+5] u/kairepaire: OpenAI seems completely fucked. What entities are most exposed? Who gave them money?
[+5] u/Apple2o: Port so fat a 1% gain is worth a month of work as a senior software engineer
[+5] u/anunnaturalselection: Does reddit sell off here or go much higher today?
[+5] u/trsx5: So many good opportunities in the market and here i am like a dunce waiting for AMZN to do something post earnings. Guess im 20 years too late to the party
[+5] u/VisualMod: You already have a bet going - SPY to 730.0 before 01-May-2026 02:43 PM -05
[+22] u/BadBoyBilbo: \*I will not buy calls at the top\*
\*I will not buy calls at the top\*
\*I will not buy calls at the top\*
Shit. I’m gonna buy calls at the top…
[+15] u/BlackKnightsOptions: At what point is it no longer "cautious optimism" and instead "reckless optimism"
[+15] u/Sufficient_Insect812: https://preview.redd.it/a9fljwzn4jyg1.png?width=746&format=png&auto=webp&s=828593c8e28d9413a5a6985990e31302cbb5a3f3
[+14] u/rixxxand: Same old day today. MSFT taking a shit. SNDK up a 3rd world country gdp. No dommy boss threatening me with cannons.
Whats the point
[+14] u/Yonderbeyonder: why does a rug pull feel imminent today
[+11] u/Imgoin2brich: JUST WATCH WHAT IVE BEEN SAYING FOR WEEKS
WHEN THE DOW JONES HAS A PULLBACK, NVDA WILL BUMP UP
AND VISE VERSA
WALL ST IS LEGITIMATELY JUST USING FUNDS BETWEEN THE TWO TO PUMP EACH BACK AND FORTH
DANGEROUS GAME OF HOT POTATO
[+11] u/Worried_Quarter469: Son, it’s time for you to learn where baby come from
Baby come from JP Morgan promotions
[+11] u/AprilsSecretAccount: One dollar bills are designed to dissolve after one week of use. This is how the government keeps impoverished people from building wealth.
[+11] u/Soffatjockis: SNDK FROM -8% IN AH TO +5% AT OPEN
LOLWAT
[+11] u/HoneyBadger552: Lorna is the only top I need
[+10] u/spectra444: Goooooood Morning regards, I am once again hoping that you slept well last night and your coffee is delicious today. Have a great day of regardmaxxing ☕️🫡
[+10] u/Loud-Solution-6118: Big cannon formation on SPY today
[+10] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: It's so hard to pick the best stocks, I decided to just equally spread my money across the 500 best companies I could find in the US stock market. Took years of research and it's hard to manage a portfolio this complex but it seems to be working
[+10] u/Snoo23417: Age of the permabull.
[+10] u/Fresh_Internal_6085: Jesus ~~if we open over 50k~~ he is never going to shut the fuck up ~~about it~~
[+9] u/iiGoodVibesii: What is sincerely making me mad..
Is I know if I just full port 0dte calls on the SPY today.. I'll make more money on that, than anything else.
Its just so regarded though.
[+9] u/GreenGameboyColor: Robinhood paid me my $6 in interest 😎
[+9] u/New-Bullfrog-815: Full sending Reddit and Tesla calls today wish me luck
[+9] u/Expensive-Low-372: Iran sends latest peace proposal. Taco Friday
[+9] u/hudson701: where to get in, there's no pullback
[+9] u/the_mind_goblin1: #YOU THINK THIS IS A BUBBLE? YOU HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING YET
[+9] u/UnivalveX: we will literally never have a day below +0.5% ever again
[+9] u/geewillie: Dropping a nuke probably wouldn’t even help bears at this point good lord
[+9] u/Bizonistic: Holy shit stonk only goes up and up and up
[+8] u/Impressive_Start_980: As always, calls are the way to go
[+8] u/TaikoG: If you google **'jp Morgan Sex'**, way more news stories show up than I expected
[+8] u/Affectionate-Idea690: ooooh....Pentagon signs AI deals with Nvidia, Microsoft, AWS and Reflection
[+8] u/FiveEggHeads: Fuck it I'm starting every week buying SPY calls out of the money by at least 5.
[+8] u/DuduBeanz: i dont get the "inverse wsb" thing, this place has just been perma bulls squawking about buying calls for 5 years
[+8] u/miss_L_fire: Are they gonna rug pull at open again?
[+8] u/2020isgreat: Not that anyone cares but the strait still has no sign of being open
[+8] u/davidbigham: Buy high and sell even higher.
[+8] u/Extension_Source8263: OMG!!!! We are getting our 10th peace deal in the last month. I’m sure it’ll actually happen this time.
[+8] u/Suavecore_: They're gonna let this shit pump for months until EVERY regular Joe is talking about the stock market and dumping their money in, then finally the most epic rugpull of all time to pillage retail for all they've got
[+8] u/FTWLibra: You can’t win them all, but you can absolutely lose them all
[+8] u/browsk: This is pretty retarded lol
[+8] u/the_mind_goblin1: #IMAGINE NOT BUYING DURING THE GREATEST PUMP OF ALL TIME LMAO, OR EVEN WORSE HOLDING PUTS LMFAO
[+7] u/1M-to-Zero: Friend showed me this thread and told me this is the place to make your million so that I dont have to flip at Wendy's..
[+7] u/FTWLibra: Today may or may not be interesting something may or may not happen
[+7] u/Country_Gravy420: I don't know who needs to hear this, but SPX is going over 7400 today
[+7] u/FeverTreeCloud: JPM is green because of spiking in men applying for jobs in their leveraged finance unit 😤
Bullish 🔥
[+7] u/Regarded-Mastodon: So are we thinking 730 or 740 today? Need to take my pills accordingly
[+7] u/nebuloushazybull: Hey WSB fam! Damn it’s hard to write this with the wall of tears in front of my eyes, but will do my best not to do the same to you all.
I know it’s a Fri and been a crazy fucking week for many. But just thought I’d drop in some emotional noodle soup. It’s been a while but to recap- I moved out across the country since my wife and I separated a few years ago, so I could support and be there for my kids.
Turns out we’re looking to move into together to a house to make it easier for the kids; I’ll be moving out end of July officially out of my apartment, and I saw one of the apartment service crew just working his normal job outside. It was nice seeing him almost everyday after dropping the kiddos to school; even so much I considered him a morning friend, an elderly caring gentlemen.
When I told him I was moving out he was happy and smiling and telling me I’m a great dad, with tears rolling down his face after a minute or two. I was perplexed but perhaps not so much, after empathizing that he might have experienced something similar in his life or is genuinely just so happy for me. I will miss him.
Regardless, I had a moment in my car; while the world tries to eat and destroy itself in every tangible, technological and non technological means possible, just remember one thing- nothing will ever replace human kindness and emotion, no matter how hard they try to get AI to do so.
Cheers, and happy Friday :)
[+7] u/UnivalveX: literally vertical line up. not even a single break in between
[+7] u/lolgoodone34: Market is just unrealistic at this point
[+7] u/trumpdiego: ##Imagine not owning stocks lol
[+7] u/UnivalveX: SPY 730 today. 750 next week. 800 end of month. might as well go for a thousand by end of summer at this point
[+7] u/Happy-n-Healthy: Ain't a fuckin ber in sight!
[+7] u/Throwaway1021920087: wtf is this illegal ass pump? I don't want to fomo
[+7] u/spluff94: imagine betting against SNDK
[+7] u/Sufficient_Insect812: The older I get the less I care about anything. Bout to speaker phone my shi full blast in this dollar tree fk it.
[+7] u/DrummerCompetitive20: Wild how RDDT isnt 200 right now LOL
[+7] u/Apfelmoes_: RDDT on the ropes.. HERE COME THE MARKET MAKERS WITH THE STEEL CHAIR
[+7] u/Send_Lawyers: I bought 10 spy 0DTE at open and sold them for 100% profit in 10 mins. I think I’m done for the day guys. Enjoy the mania.
[+7] u/Mathguy200: NVDA GET YOUR FUCKING ASS UP NOW OR SO HELP ME
[+7] u/Mysterious_Can2476: what the actual fluff
[+7] u/31andnotdone: there are people sitting at their screens right now saying "yeah this looks like a buy"
[+7] u/Character_Set3454: Spy was the memestock of 2026 all along.
[+7] u/IndependentUsual7444: April had to have been one of the best months for the Nasdaq ever
[+7] u/IDoLikeMyShishkebabs: I know we've been talking about a bubble for years, but this might be the big one boys
[+7] u/Eddyrancid: Wow, just fucking lunacy lmao
[+7] u/BadBoyBilbo: If SPY does just 10 more dollars, I will 100x my “investment” in 0dte calls.
Ez money.
[+7] u/InitiativeGlum2507: Roblox -22%, fuck my fish head
[+7] u/Vito_GYATafore: I'm not dumb I'm retarded
[+6] u/hypeaze: How do I apply at JP Morgan to become a junior analyst?
[+6] u/ddrsdght: Fugayzi, fugazi. It's a whazy. It's a woozie. It's fairy dust. It doesn't exist. It's never landed. It is no matter. It's not on the elemental chart. It's not fucking real
[+6] u/AprilsSecretAccount: Please check the box to indicate that you have read the terms and conditions of endless shrimp.
[+6] u/WindNo3445: Jim Cremer stay away from my space stocks you chud
[+6] u/Dinowhores6969: Hmm I’m thinking dump at open and then V back up to 723 by noon
[+6] u/dmk_world: Happy ath day again, big balled bulls!
Bear.. go sleep again. Wake up again around july/august, maybe
[+6] u/Glum-Pen6973: Full porting SPY calls at open.
[+6] u/GoingDownUnderInSEA: This whole thing gay af
[+6] u/Uniquename34556: JPM going to pump today?
[+6] u/OptionsHuduga: I JUST WANT A GIRL WHO WILL LOVE ME FOR MY VISCERAL FAT
[+6] u/gooneral_MC: if you enjoyed SPY 700 you're gonna love QQQ 700
[+6] u/RegardMode: Space getting shit on again when everything is moving up
[+6] u/Sjw455: Pump this shi it’s Friday
[+6] u/jekylczar: Lorna Cannons gave JPM the best PR it's had in a decade
[+6] u/Useful_Donut6789: market is unreal. AI and semiconductor plays just keep pumping the indices with absolutely zero respite for underwater shorts
[+6] u/PROMlSED: SNDK casually pumping $90 overnight
[+6] u/RjBloxks: Jeez not even a dip to buy
[+6] u/am-i-not-a-bot: REDdit will be red by close. It’s in the name. How’d I miss something so obvious
[+6] u/Extension-Change-441: https://preview.redd.it/gte8s89p7jyg1.png?width=299&format=png&auto=webp&s=02ec9f7ef5f7c4fcf447836dbe9e71724c6de26b
[+6] u/Cuckedsucked: this is pure manipulation holy fuck
[+6] u/PROMlSED: Casual 150 pump from SNDK since last night LMAO
[+6] u/alphawafflejack: I’ve never been angry-jealous of people before, I usually root for my fellow regard
But fuck you to anybody who got into SNDK early
[+6] u/PhysInstrumentalist: OIL rockets, SPY keeps pumping, OIL dumps, SPY pumps even more; now that's pure greed.
[+6] u/diefy7321: Bers seriously are ded
[+6] u/xironically23: I made my first 1k today :)
[+6] u/WendyDumpsterFire: What up regards how are my SPY 720 puts doing
[+5] u/Impossible-Gas8916: I feel like SNDK will rip
[+5] u/damnthatbooty: If reports aren’t bad a +1.5-2% day isn’t out of the cards
[+5] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Bro what is actually up this week besides Google to make spy pump like this?
[+5] u/davidbigham: cant believe SPY would hit 721 today and NVDA not even pumping 🤡
[+5] u/David_Norris_M: Aapl gonna carry spy to 730
[+5] u/artandambition: Day 3 of weinermaxxing, it’s beginning to turn blue.
[+5] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Radiation would destroy any data center in space within a matter of a few years. A significant solar event could corrupt the data and equipment in a matter of hours. Anybody telling you different also has a bridge in Brooklyn for sale.
[+5] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: I will explain why i must be the new leader of WSB:
I sold GOOG at 220. I full ported into MSFT at 505! Five.zero.five. and i dont have moneyz for DCA.
[+5] u/Few_Egg3567: Msft green so something isn't right
[+5] u/Xzlk: We were having so much fun and now MSFT has to go green, signaling something horrible is coming
[+5] u/ddrsdght: They’re never going to let the poors buy the dip. Don’t you understand?
[+5] u/AprilsSecretAccount: Happy May Day, you communist bastards.
[+5] u/QuailEquivalent2625: RDDT 25% day loading
[+5] u/Objective_Back_2581: Study these words:
Ber anoos gap
[+5] u/UnivalveX: SPY 730 EOD for the vibes
[+5] u/Paincoast89: Liquidate at the end of the day. We are bombing Iran again
[+5] u/Ill-Expression1737: bears have been waiting for their day for 5 consecutive weeks
[+5] u/Fair_Grocery_1839: Last week to get in SOUN before the earnings.
[+5] u/burnerAccountDuh24: ahh so just straight to the pump today no wasting time
[+5] u/k21k21k21: Well past greed and into euphoria
[+5] u/grantern2: I have the gift of only buying stonks that go down or stay flat, wtf man…
[+5] u/peterpeer9: what the actual fuck is going on
[+5] u/UnimatrixZ3r0ne: Gl staying poor bears lol
[+5] u/Soffatjockis: MU says fuck your puts
Memory uber alles
[+5] u/Happy-n-Healthy: Never trust a big butt and a smile
[+5] u/Worried-Action-9497: Bulls getting too cocky
[+5] u/meteojett: Dang, TEAM seems like its exploding at +28%. Until you zoom out. Looks a like a rocket launching from the bottom of a crater.
[+5] u/the_mind_goblin1: uh oh, i'm making money. this is not a good sign for everyone else
[+5] u/HalaMadridPapaFlo: Tom Lee correctly predicted that NASDAQ will cross 25k by May 1. His next prediction is it’ll cross 35k by July 1. GOAT Lee is never wrong.
[+5] u/LakeShowForLife24: Eli Lilly is making me rich 🤑
[+5] u/7000series: Hell of a recovery on SNDK
[+5] u/Fancy_Cattle_5914: SOFI has to be the worst stock I've ever seen.
[+5] u/MoreOutcome8541: How could we have been at ‘extreme fear’ this time last month for a little pussy ass 10% correction but after a face ripping historic rally we’re not at ‘extreme greed’? Explain yourselves CNN
[+5] u/Novel_Advice_2044: sndk!!! JESUS CHRIST
[+5] u/Dinowhores6969: V tempted to buy puts here because you never know if 🥭 will go ☢️ over the weekend
[+5] u/peopeopeopeo10: I didn't buy SNDK at 500 thinking it topped 🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
[+5] u/Tridentern: RDDT ending Up with zero gains or what?
[+5] u/Yeetman603: NVDA get your ass to 205 nowwwwwww
[+5] u/Initial_Ad_9250: This feels like a fever dream mayne. Who the fuck is buying stonks at these prices lmao
[+5] u/2girls1scope: Sell off will be a beauty
[+5] u/Ryu6912: RDDT not holding a pump after an earnings that nuts fully convinces me weeklies during earnings are just fully manipulated.
[+5] u/otimanob: I cant believe spy is reaching for 800 already
[+5] u/BrokeDueToBiotech: Why is it that I doubt myself and sell too quickly.
[+5] u/proteenator: Holy shit Intel..wasn't +150% YTD enough for you?
[+5] u/Technical-Emu-32: Dog shit wrapped in cat shit
[+5] u/ELI5orWikiMe: Of course, I buy 0DTE puts today after a week of calls and am getting wrecked.
[+5] u/Think-Tea-8074: Looks like AI will replace oil now
[+5] u/ddrsdght: Oh look MMs are making my 401k buy the top again
[+5] u/IndependentUsual7444: There's nothing bearish in sight
[+5] u/SnoStrm: We need a nuke to go off for SPY to hit 800 Monday
[+5] u/ShittyUsernane1222: the market woke up one day an decided lim(x->0) y=1/x is the best price chart.
[+5] u/whenyournotdead: Out every stock I could choose I went with hood, fuck me
[+5] u/oldprecision: This market has regard strength like no one has ever seen before.
[+5] u/nageV_oG_: Why is this piece of shit market so fucking horny
[+5] u/Ok_Cry7572: There will be a crash but not till every BER is crushed
[+5] u/-bravozulu-: [r/astspacemobile](r/astsspacemobile) is pure entertainment. Bunch of people whining about the stock being ‘manipulated’ because it’s gone down recently LMAO
[+5] u/wenxuan2: JUST BUY EVERYTHING YOU DUMB FCKS
[+5] u/Connor_417: If you’re dumping NVDA you’re a sissy
[+5] u/Bizonistic: Oil up SPY up
Oil down SPY also up LMAO
[+5] u/felis_scipio: How I learned stop worrying about fundamentals and love the bull the run
The 727 calls expiring today I bought at close yesterday are up 300%, the gay bear in me wants to sell but the bull thinks we can actually hit that today.
[+5] u/damnvid: puts were not the play
[+5] u/ZergrushLOL: America is unstoppable.
[+5] u/YOLOdollhair: How is NVDA flat and NQ is up 300 points?
Something fucky going on there with how money is being moved in the market.
[+5] u/uncsucks: Humbly asking for a SPY -3% day
[+5] u/BigWarning8696: It'll get back into the $260s in the next 3-6 months imo
[+5] u/claytondpark: Nvo +$50 post er next week
[+5] u/DryBicycle5629: AAPL is going to not make me a lot of money
[+5] u/Shoty6966-_-: There’s a dude out there with the biggest cock in the world and he doesn’t even know it
[+5] u/According_History149: Fake meat made good drink now look at em go
[+5] u/patricktu1258: Dow is going for 50000 today
[+5] u/BrokeDueToBiotech: Que pasa? For not Spanish people’s the translation: eat shit bears
[+5] u/BunchaPepperFcks: marvin gaye - what's going on
[+5] u/DangerNoodleDemiGod: Lmao. Are we about to unleash our metaphorical cannons on JPM today?
[+5] u/Eddyrancid: Can't believe almost bought puts eod yesterday.
[+5] u/ideletedmyaccount04: I asked Gemini politely how to say "Fuck your puts" in Japanese.
プットなんて糞食らえ!
That seems like a lot of extra words to me.
[+5] u/Scholastic_nobody: Pakistan back at it again
[+5] u/hv876: Just filled JPM job application. Wen Lorna as boss?
[+5] u/PeachScary413: Firing on those cannons
[+5] u/Charming_Yellow5867: I would fuck her for a promotion.
[+5] u/BigWarning8696: SOFI but I doubled down yesterday
[+13] u/Andthesuch: Buying spy calls everyday is probably a better strategy than whatever the fuck I keep doing
[+12] u/Brodieischeese: DO NOT TURN YOUR LONG DATED OPTIONS INTO 0DTES TO TRY TO MAKE MORE MONEY
[+11] u/nocashflow_: im a genius in a bull market
[+11] u/yeahyoubored: what war
what oil crisis
what inflation
we're all rich, bitch
[+10] u/zg44: CPI is going to be over 5% within 2 months and Warsh/Trump will be pushing for rate cuts.
SPY is going to get ahead of that by pumping the rest of the year. "Inflation is bullish for stocks" will be the phrase on CNBC by every other guest.
SPY 800 is probably a reality later this year.
This is 2021 all over again but without the 2022 rate hike cycle (because you know Trump would go crazy on the Fed if they even suggest rate hikes); this is a pure AI + inflation boom. It will end poorly in the distant future, but for now, party on.
[+10] u/Repulsive-Ice-5836: Dad why are we poor?
Cause i spent my golden years shorting the greatest bullrun of all time, son.
Why are you so retarded dad?
[+10] u/Eldritchsails: Never thought I'd be making money off of fucking Nokia
[+9] u/Dear-Hair5834: Spy makes 730 today I will never buy puts ever again
[+9] u/Wickrest: If spy goes up 7 more dollars today it will have increased by 100$ in 1 month lmao
[+9] u/CardiologistEqual336: medieval peasants had more days off than me
[+9] u/Meeting_Ok2: I'm good at buying the top
[+9] u/edwardh528: So we either drill or get a big rally or just a flat day. Interesting
[+8] u/BigStepMaestro: Absolutely disgusting pump
[+8] u/Inevitable_Estate459: I am a ber. I lost. I got slaughtered. I admit that timing the market is regarded. So what now. Full port at ATHs after we already went up 10000% in the last 5 weeks?
[+8] u/zangor: I think this has gotten to the point where we don’t make fun of the bears anymore. We’re just all kind of confused and in disbelief of what the f is going on.
[+8] u/Waiting4Reccession: Bloomberg boomer basically asked why anyone would post seriously on reddit without getting compensated for it lmao, so right
[+8] u/Electronic-Tax-1641: The White House could get nuked and Tesla would still go up
[+8] u/StonkaTrucks: Just bought another SPX put with the last $400 in my account after losing $5k yesterday trying to time the top 4 times. Wish me luck!
[+8] u/Careless-Day-3008: It tanks the instant I buy calls. Fuck this ignorant shit
[+8] u/LarsTarkas: Traders ran out of cocaine. Things will pump back if they can find more
[+8] u/vCharged: They completely sold off that pop fucking GHEYYY
[+8] u/Valkorion335786: Statistically speaking, there was someone who bought poots at open, then flipped and bought calls at 724 lol
[+8] u/Dependent-Media-1857: i made 60 dollars today
[+8] u/BoomerSharkBoy: Anything after 10:30 is boring
[+7] u/magnum_opus_dong: 👆 you bought calls at the top
[+7] u/eyerollingsex: So anytime Donnie creates a market controversy that means we’re about to rocket
[+7] u/Key_Abroad7633: Lmaooo what the fuck is going on
[+7] u/thewiggen: Spy is up 100 dollars in a month
[+7] u/MFG1628: Betting against the most manipulated market in history is certainly a choice.
[+7] u/lococommotion: This pump is totally sustainable and we definitely won’t be red by close
[+7] u/jayxmor: 🫵🏽 bought puts at open didn’t you LMAO
[+7] u/Jinhe0529: why is everything green? Is red illegal now?
[+7] u/cryptohorn: Put some respek on those cannons. It was fake allegations
[+7] u/Mysterious-Device-53: I have now accepted that no matter how dire things seem, the market will only go up for at least 2.5 more years... what in the actual fuck is happening
[+7] u/AskMeAboutMyGenitals: While I'm certainly not regarded enough to buy puts, I'd just like to point out the RSI is almost 80, and the volume is this sub buying calls...
[+7] u/Leibnizinventedittoo: we're going off the railsssss
on a crazy trainnnnnnn
[+7] u/SeaFill7604: Made 10k in calls on spy this morning and sold before the dump feels good
[+7] u/ThatFreakImHim: I'd rather be at jpm rn
[+7] u/Equivalent-Net-1557: This retarded fucking market I’m done
[+7] u/jetpilot6969: Was bull at 722.50 724c - 209%
Was ber at 724.80 724p - 208%
I quit for the day. This market is regarded.
[+7] u/king_of_all_retards: Made 107 dollars today
[+7] u/vCharged: Here comes the fucking V
[+7] u/manlymatt83: Bought puts at open. It went up. I sold them and bought calls. It went down. Sold the calls. Now it's going up again.
WTF should I buy.
[+7] u/EnigmaSpore: 7800-7900 is happening this year. Sounds dumb but thats only about +15% year over year.
They do the same thing guys. Early year volatility to cash out and get cheaper prices to buy in. Then they march us up all the way until late in the year before taking some profit and waiting for next year’s volatility dip n rip.
We are at peak regard levels but just keep buying any type of dip if we every see one
[+7] u/Arya_Warrior_Girl: Congrats to all who banked on RDDT.
[+7] u/cgonz15: Guys can you stop selling so we can go to 725? Its really not that hard
[+6] u/CluelessTennisBall: Bears logic
SPY $500: Damn this is overvalued
SPY $550: It cant go higher than this!
SPY $535: LOL knew it, generational collapse coming
SPY $600: WTF, dead cat bounce for sure
SPY $650: This crash is gonna be biblical. My entry will be $600, till then I wait!
SPY $750: THE MARKET MAKES NO SENSE
SPY $680: LMFAO I WAS RIGHT BULLS R REGARD
SPY $800:Damn this is overvalued
[+6] u/Convillious: I made so much money I’m so happy!!!!
[+6] u/Stunning-Dig-8916: https://preview.redd.it/kitzwhbz9jyg1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c68a79a3a4640cd0ea2ef6019d6556aae690b1cf
[+6] u/Ok-Cut-6064: Come on Spy what’s another 25 dollars
[+6] u/Ok-Barracuda39: Diesel is now $6.39 a gallon from $5.49 yesterday.
Wild. But, hey, we keep winning!
[+6] u/WailingWarbler: Buying 0dte spy calls at open and selling them at close = infinite money glitch
[+6] u/dune2350: Taco prob gona do something stupid this weekend, right?
[+6] u/thedyslexicdetective: Bears are down for the 10 count
[+6] u/Adamos0210: I'm scared. Bought calls and sold after 4% gain
[+6] u/dreamer_Neet: jp morgan should hire me to handle that beautiful cannons
[+6] u/astromouse2024: Sold my aapl calls for a $400 gain, I’m good for the weekend
[+6] u/soscribbly: Bears just need to accept we have a president who stares at tickers all day and will never let the market crash again
[+6] u/angrybubblez: This rally is insane
[+6] u/DatYoungSquire: Cash gang on suicide watch
[+6] u/MayorMcCheezz: Hegseth said the 60 day war powers limit isint over today because the cease fire didn't count as part of the 60 days. Bullish on bombings.
[+6] u/TittyTriceratops: Oil at all time high and my oil calls going down? Happy Friday
[+6] u/Leading-Future6691: So tempted to buy puts but this market is regarded
[+6] u/samwehl: It just doesn’t stop
[+6] u/It-hurts-whenIP: IMAGINE BUYING PUTS 😂😂😂😂
[+6] u/nknk_3: I refuse to take part in this degeneracy
[+6] u/Sp0kenTruth: So if you havent noticed, anytime the market tanks a bit (covid, war, etc) you should be buying lmao. works 10/10 times. This is how rich stays rich, they have ability to hold unlike us normal folks
[+6] u/plzplzplztendies: WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ECONOMIC COLLAPSE BER????
[+6] u/PhatBonerMan: Nvda hates the market
[+6] u/It-hurts-whenIP: SPY pulls back $0.80 cents after being up $7 dollars on the day.
Bears: WE ARE SO BACK
[+6] u/Illustrious_Job1951: This is now a cocaine market
[+6] u/Vaynard709: Bought spy calls lost 3 k in mins
[+6] u/uptheirons75: It turns out V is for vix
[+6] u/CHENWizard: Log entry: It has been 10 days since we have seen above average volume on SPY. The algos continue to pump and destroy bear anoos while simultaneously priming the spring for either bull Valhalla or bear redemption. I myself cannot handle this price action with my paper hands thus I must restrain myself from trading. This is my hell.
[+6] u/JPM1216: 🥭 gonna strike again this evening
[+6] u/vCharged: We almost had 725 you fucks
[+6] u/Lytalm: Hillarious fake dump on oil, it's slowly recovering.
[+6] u/FrostingOk2692: The market can stay irrational longer than you can stay regarded and you will be regarded your whole life.
[+6] u/Spiritual_Storm7363: I buy puts, it goes up. I buy calls, it goes down. I just can’t win
[+6] u/pinghing: Pump day into bomb day
[+6] u/Jimbob404error: I used to own 50k of Google at 88 and sold at 94
[+6] u/Spiritual_Storm7363: Come on SPY, I know you want to hit 725 so badly
[+6] u/SupportMedium9487: Buy the fuckin' dip you crazy bastards!
[+6] u/Thee_muffin_mann: 725 will make my wife love me again
[+6] u/8lbs_overweight: I swear I'm an idiot. I was up 140 percent on iwm and I watched it go negative 10 percent
[+6] u/IntellectualRetarded: That nvda dip to 197 was a generational buying opportunity
[+6] u/Playless: is SPY out of juice for today?
[+6] u/EnigmaSpore: “sell in May and go away” is the fakest boomer trading phrase of all time.
We havent had a red May since 2019.
Stay straight in May and btfd
[+6] u/bendersd: well this has become less fun.
[+5] u/AirportMaterial5917: are we gonna gape back up, seems like a low volume dump
[+5] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: Wow SPY is going ballistic I bet my NVDA calls are doing good too!
[+5] u/Harp-Note: NOK NOK. Who's there?
[+5] u/TurbodToilet: Is the strait of Hormuz blockade located at BTC $80k?
[+5] u/ToughVegetable2483: Nvidia ruining our 725
[+5] u/Remarkable_Owl: Let’s face it: the market is only ever going to go up.
[+5] u/Repulsive-Ice-5836: People doubting MU/SNDK at these prices wouldnt buy NVDA at $100
[+5] u/Haunting-Window-5125: There aint no way we arent in a blow off top of the bubble rn this is insane lol How long does this usually last?
[+5] u/WasV3: Markets Makers to crush the puts and autocontributions
[+5] u/99Fan: Not complaining but what are we mooning on LMAO
[+5] u/eggplant_parm827: You all know QQQ is hitting 700 by Tuesday or Wednesday and there's nothing that can stop it, so get your free money and please don't fight it. But unfortunately a bunch of losers are still trying to short it.
[+5] u/Stack_Johnson: Literally no monetary or fiscal responsibility anymore
[+5] u/Dpap123: Wow spy is regarded what the actual fuck
[+5] u/ObeyObeyObeyObey: If It starts tanking rn after I bought calls I'm genuinely eating my own ass
[+5] u/Provolone-Jones: We might see a 100 point gap up on oil this weekend
[+5] u/PowerNoodles117: Everyone made money today even the retards!
[+5] u/Bochyat_Jaa: Lorna said do you wanna sniff my cunt
[+5] u/Visual_Amphibian6527: fumbling a generational bull run by buying into nbis, meta, hims, and rklb at the top
[+5] u/Matt6453: Why did everything shit the bed in Feb/March? I mean this V is obscene.
[+5] u/OrangMiskin: Should’ve bought Intel instead of shit NVDA
[+5] u/EnginrA: My puts are absolutely destroyed
[+5] u/stonksf: I wanna work for JP Morgan
[+5] u/laurencenor: So SPY just casually goes up 1%, everyday now? What a ponzi scheme
[+5] u/emanresu711: I haven’t made any money this year. I feel left out just like the rest of my life
[+5] u/Dependent-Entrance56: Wtf if MSFT moons right after I sold everything this is bs
[+5] u/Wrath_FMA: I actually sold my puts for break even fuck
[+5] u/DjAbella: Oh fuck it aint gonna V
[+5] u/sunsetmenu: im so tired of rklb dumping as soon as it hits mid 80s
[+5] u/bearhunter429: #We'll NEVER have another red day ever again LMAO🤌
[+5] u/rubsdikonxpensivshit: Call wall at $425 on the spy. It gonna break it like the 415 wall it smashed yesterday 🤔
[+5] u/vCharged: I need to talk to the SPY manager, I ordered 725 30 mins ago... why is it taking so long?
[+5] u/Brodieischeese: Spy 730 might genuinely come today 💀
[+5] u/vCharged: Mango announce the damn deal
[+5] u/Rrrandomalias: Imagine being such an incel you accidentally submit your fanfic as a lawsuit against a former coworker
[+5] u/Bill_Clintons_Desk5: SNDK and WDC dips going to be bought up like they never even existed
[+5] u/gometsss888: I just inversely move how u tards are moving and it works lol
[+5] u/DENIMSHORTS_840SCORE: Soundhound gonna fucking SQEEEEEZE
[+5] u/samaritan1331_: Relax guys it's just Biden's market
[+5] u/CEOofBeanz: AMD is sucking me off
[+5] u/AssociateLate1116: So we agree this is definitely going to continue ripping right? Because why not
[+5] u/LetItATV: This is the stupidest, most unearned pump I’ve ever seen.
We’re hitting numbers just to hit numbers.
And I say that as someone who made money today expecting a stupid, unearned pump.
[+5] u/Kickboy21: NVDA stepbro what are you doing?!
[+5] u/kawkface: Your boi just scalped SPY for 33k
Dame
[+5] u/cosmicoconuts: Don’t panic just buy the dip
[+5] u/Arabian_Goggles_: Nvda under 200 is so unbelievably fucking stupid.
[+5] u/grimandnordic1: You bought the top didn't you
[+5] u/vCharged: Wtf i was doing so good today
[+5] u/Repulsive-Ice-5836: Must be exhausting being a ber. Always another black swan event. Always another reason to dump. Yet never any money to show for it LMAO
[+5] u/Spiritual_Taste_1253: I think it’s gonna retest 725 at some point today, but who’s willing to sit there and get theta fucked until it does?
[+5] u/Eldritchsails: Just break 674 you pussy
[+5] u/vCharged: Immigrants are welcome to the USA if you buy INTC calls
[+5] u/hardcrepe: News: allegations of female executive treating lower level employee as sex slave.
WSB: Step on me, Dommy Mommy!
[+5] u/FatandBankrupt: Today some of you regards are going to be left holding the potato
[+5] u/sxiom: #AAPL STONK ONLY GOES UP 🍏📈
[+5] u/ecoburner87: govt's been pumping the market, we'll read all about the juicy details and consequences of these actions in 10-20 years but for now enjoy the shrek
[+5] u/samaritan1331_: Thanks Tim APPL - Made my first 100% 🙏
[+5] u/Sp0kenTruth: IM SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING MY REAL JOB BUT IM GLUED IN ON SPY AND REDDIT. LORD HAVE MERCY
[+5] u/yeahalright_356: This is the final pamp before the crash
[+5] u/Harp-Note: Space bulls crying right now.
[+5] u/Equivalent-Net-1557: Just full ported calls
[+5] u/Visual-Attention-11: Lotto calls paying like this is going to make me a bad trader
[+5] u/ramy_mousa: Markets feels dumpy and weird
[+5] u/PhatBonerMan: Nvda creeping up to let us down again
[+5] u/TheOriginalBushToad: An A.I. video of Jensen Huang plowing Lisa Su on a stack of servers while Lip-Bu Tan watches would kick this market into overdrive. Just sayin'...
[+5] u/I_FEEL_LIKE_POGBA: Just opened a position on LULU, my wife’s boyfriend said she needs new yoga pants
[+5] u/Medium_Beautiful_721: My 0dte’s just got IV crushed in the last 15 minutes. Looks like volatility is done for the day
[+5] u/FakeGamer2: Full port SPY puts at 725?
[+5] u/Competitive-Ant2876: 7 million on spy is why it’s pumping so easy, that shit is pathetic
[+5] u/GalacticPlutoBear: Being on the right side of a trade +4%. Being on the wrong side -60%. First million when
[+5] u/lordricer: Shit why didn't I sell lol
[+5] u/RickySitts: If you kill one person you’re a murderer if you can kill thousands in one fell swoop you are military
[+12] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: They say you can tell a lot about a man by the size of his wife’s cannons
[+12] u/AdCritical5383: #Here at JP Morgan we’re all about female empowerment 💁🏻♂️ LMAO 🤌
[+11] u/Dazzling_Breath5940: Just bought a put so 730 guaranteed today. You're welcome
[+10] u/unhappyreach_: "Shorting INTC is free money"
- someone here probably 😞
[+10] u/Napster-mp3: BREAKING: Spirit Airlines announces partnership with Spirit Halloween and OpenAI. Rebranding to 👻AIrlines
[+10] u/codespyder: lol $4k got vanquished from my calls in the blink of an eye
[+9] u/hempfarmerx: I’m just supposed to sit and do my job after losing $5000?
[+9] u/shiny_nickit: Watch spy randomly go to 727
[+9] u/Red_V_Standing_By: Some chick at a bank talks about her boobs and so many of you are losing your minds. Some sad, horny motherfuckers in here.
[+9] u/Sea-Refrigerator7919: If spy ends green I quit trading it
[+9] u/Haikoe: Honestly I’m just mad I’m not retarded enough to keep buying calls in the face of doom
[+9] u/Red_V_Standing_By: We’re in a really weird place where it’s an even mix of extreme fear and extreme greed.
[+9] u/goldtank123: Damn. Lost like 20k playing with spirit otc lolol
[+9] u/kuklistyle: I've been flat for the last 2 weeks cause I can't trade this manipulated bullish garbage, but even if I'm on the sidelines nothing would give me more pleasure than watching this ponzi crash
[+9] u/ziggs_ulted_japan: Everytime I start making fucking money our fat fucking president has to open his fucking mouth.
[+9] u/GrossFleshSack: Deja Vu, I just feel like I've been in this place befoorrre. Peace proposal rejected over the weekend, oil up 10%, SPY will open down 1%, then recover to ATH over the next 2 days.
[+9] u/Redwolf97ff: Still can’t get over how rapidly shit dropped like 5min ago, wtf was that
[+9] u/DaBirdLawyer: Down 6k to start the week, back even boyssss
[+8] u/Doughnutpower: Spirit Airlines became a ghost.
[+8] u/LabyrinthLayers: Imagine paying ~$5k for a Sandisk call OR put, just to see that thing move between 1050-1100 range all day oof
[+8] u/Comfortable733: The ability for me to buy an option that instantly goes negative 10-20% is sus
[+8] u/Karl-Levin: The whole oil market manipulation thing is just silly at this point.
Not like we can't see the reality at the gas station.
[+8] u/GrondForGondor: Peace deal Fridays. At what point does it become priced in?
[+8] u/Sick0h: I’m afraid the market has gone full retard
[+8] u/LossMax: Did I sell early today for big profit? Yes.
Am I mad about this? Also yes
[+8] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: I can’t see the word cannons without getting triggered anymore
[+8] u/No_Risk5411: Spy 730 possible or nope?
[+8] u/thenorthernwhiteboy: wtf is happening rn lmao
[+8] u/CULT_OF_BOG: Tariff man is back lmaooooooooo
[+8] u/Brawmethius: We are generating trillions of paper equity value on mere billions of real economic activity.
This has never ended well.
Im not even really a ber.
[+8] u/CutRevolutionary6838: Took profits early, got greedy and went back in. Paying the price
[+8] u/nick8852: Just got off the phone with Barron he said he just bought puts
[+7] u/drcornwallis23: Dead internet theory but apply it to the stock market. It’s all one big robot circle jerk
[+7] u/UniversityNo340: overslept by 15 minutes of market open and missed out on $1500 on gains. gnarly. time to lock in and trade this shitter account
[+7] u/Historical_Count_360: Get your puts in. No one in their right mind isn’t going to take profits before the weekend.
[+7] u/Curious-Tap8312: Stop fighting the trend bears, Iran just offered peace negotiations. Any moment now a headline is going to send this to 730
[+7] u/Phandomtrigger: Not even worth buying calls cause spy is flopping around like a retarded fish
[+7] u/dljmonkeyboiz: I chose NVDA calls .. of all days
[+7] u/DogNamedFloppy: I became a bear about 6 months ago and it’s been the most retarded 6 months of my life. 🌈 🐻
[+7] u/__pickle_rick: Ber literally petrified like pompeii
[+7] u/Senpai_Slime: There was a single guy here yesterday who said only once that SOUN was gonna rocket, my calls are up 85% on that, gg
[+7] u/NativePlant870: spy will pump until midterms. Don’t fight it
[+7] u/SuperbSandwich: I switched to calls and finally started making money again lol weird
[+7] u/Comfortable733: Don’t worry we always V
[+7] u/colombianboii11: No one gives a fuck about tariffs its been 2 years of him doing this its nothing new
[+7] u/Dragonlvr420: The great dip of 11:50-11:55
[+7] u/csr8765: Ngl tariff threats again would be bullish as fuck for this market
[+7] u/moviekid214: Fucking TARIFFS WHAT IS THIS MF DOING
[+7] u/Squidysquid27: 🥭 just stfu and go to sleep
[+7] u/NativePlant870: Bad breath should be a punishable offense
[+6] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: “Spirit Airlines Prepares to Shut Down as Rescue Deal Falls Apart: $500 million government bailout faltered as the discount carrier ran low on cash and bondholders balked — via WSJ
Lol
[+6] u/saadio: Why is no one talking about airlines, RIP Spirit will miss cheapy flights
[+6] u/Czyzzle: This guy on CBNC knows NOthing about what happens to guidance when you turn off a transponder. Zero. He's an idiot and needs to staay in his lane.
[+6] u/Kind_Initiative_7567: Lmao BERS gotta be tough life
[+6] u/TheBestCanadianGoose: this surely ends well
[+6] u/kenathen: today spy minimum close 730. most likely close 750
[+6] u/GuidanceOk524: guess stock just go up haha
[+6] u/mehmilani: Did NVDA decide to pivot to shoe industry or something?
[+6] u/No_Current3675: A man can want nothing more in life than a big tiddy wife who bakes him nice stuff, healthy kids, and a portfolio of tech stonks.
[+6] u/kakacha: I’m riding my 0DTE puts to the grave. Feel free to throw some dirt on me later.
[+6] u/AppleJuiceTwo: hey baby you wanna 720p and chill
[+6] u/ThanksDependent1001: Everyone report to the SPY call clown car now! 🚀
[+6] u/NativePlant870: Imagine being poor when the market is setting new ATH every day
[+6] u/bigswordmeatlord: Right back up, you’re goofy if you think this is going down
[+6] u/drakilian: Why does the market even bother pretending to give a shit about tariffs anymore?
[+6] u/dynamic-burrito: Dropped like 20 cents, can yall actually STFU about a crash??
[+6] u/gregot76: his post means nothing and the market could care less lol, up we go
[+6] u/NaluknengBalong_0918: Tariffs back on the menu boys! 💃💃💃🤣
[+6] u/Dewton: Leave it to Donny dumbfuck to mess everything up yet again. Truly nasdaqistan
[+6] u/jroache: Nvda such a piece of shit stock. Dump that shit and let it go to zero. Make jensen do something to pump it
[+6] u/CD274: Shit did the market remember there was a war
[+6] u/icein2017: Tariffs? What is this 2025?
[+6] u/zurijer: SPY really doing 1% a day
While gas is over $6 a gallon where I live lol
[+6] u/Bene_observari: looks like a whale is set to continue dumping in your face at $724.50. Lets see if it happens again.
[+6] u/Antique-Flight-5358: Green dildo when..i bough puts
[+6] u/svpa3991: For someone who loves the stock market so much, just can’t sit on his hands when there’s an insane lockout rally going on lmao always gotta start shit
[+5] u/bosco2110: Computer, give META a massive green May monthly candle. Pronto
[+5] u/Rudybus: SPY feeling real 'buy the dip' atm, thinking we're coiling for an upward move.
[+5] u/bigswordmeatlord: INTC testing 100 again 💯
[+5] u/1gabehcoud: SPY doing better when I'm not watching it. Someone pm me when it hits 725
[+5] u/LittleHoneydew3466: I literally blinked and my port went red
[+5] u/Unlikely-Evening2919: your puts are cooked loser
[+5] u/bierbottle: Buy in may and fly away 🚀🚀🚀
[+5] u/old-cow666: Cashing out my puts , thanks SPY
[+5] u/TieDependent3180: Anyone else buy calls near the top there 🤪
[+5] u/yellowfromtheegg69: So boring to sit in germany and have a closed market. Well at least we dont have 🍊 so thats a good thing
[+5] u/GrassOrAss954: They are not finna park this SPY bitch right on my straddle all day. This shit is Psychological Warfare….has to be.
[+5] u/ziggs_ulted_japan: TSLA was going to hit 400 then he opened his mouth and now we can't break 395
[+5] u/bicks789: Stocks go up Powell goes down lakers in 6
[+5] u/FrequentUpperDecker: Reddit beat the expected move (as of now). Congrats regards who played 📞s!
[+5] u/spwath: Do I sell my 0dte 720 spy calls at open or later today?
[+5] u/United-Hearing-8286: Meta bagholders getting fried
[+5] u/fire_alarmist: They turned SPY into the next Enron 😂😂😂😂
[+5] u/ChampionshipSoggy618: Everyone sobering up after earnings and realizing they should prob profit take into the weekend after ATHs
[+5] u/pussinbuuts: TSLA up 3%
nothing to see here
[+5] u/Round-Huckleberry570: I’ve been so focused on my stocks I haven’t noticed spy is about hit 725 holy fucking dick
[+5] u/ThanksDependent1001: Trying to scare folks out of the market. Buy calls
[+5] u/yomama_yodaddy: Tell me its okay to sell at 25% and not wait for 100%😢😢😢
[+5] u/hmmmmmmmmmidk: Get it to 400% first
[+5] u/StocksStormTrooper: RDDT regards unite🚀🚀🚀
[+5] u/jerome-yellen: Trump hate is the number one reason why markets only go up
[+5] u/b1gb0n312: Spy will never go below 723 ever again
[+5] u/BlindBullseye_1988: Will there be peace today? I need to know if I should buy calls
[+5] u/Sco_420: Red day to close the week so my puts can print. Please
[+5] u/infinit9: AMZN, MSFT, and GOOG are collectively reporting more than $1.5 trillion worth of Cloud revenue backlog.
Serious question. Where is this $1.5 T coming from? Are there that many corporations with more dry powder that weren't already spent on Cloud services?
[+5] u/nikerock: Last chance to get in before SPY goes straight back up 🕵️🚀🌕
[+5] u/hermeskino715: C'mon bols. Pump higher
[+5] u/hermeskino715: Really wished NVDA participated. Holding SPY back
[+5] u/Comfortable733: THE SQUEEZE HAS NOT SQUOZE 🤌
[+5] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Insiders getting jumpy. Im thinking either a massive rug is in order, or we're about to fly up another 2-3% over whatever news is coming out over the next 72 hours
[+5] u/UnholyTrigon: Bears are given another opportunity, will they take it ?
[+5] u/VaIentineX: wow that red candle LOL
[+5] u/MrNo_Balls: stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid
[+5] u/dljmonkeyboiz: WHy is he dumping on us? Save those dumbass tweets for AHs.
[+5] u/MakeResonableChoices: That girl from JPM sounds pretty hot tbh
[+5] u/FrequentUpperDecker: I got jabaited into Reddit calls after dip at open. Awesome sauce!
[+5] u/spellbadgrammargood: News that fucks over average Americans, market: That's not that bad.. *pumps*
News that their water and electricity bills are going up because of AI, market: **PUMP HARDER**
[+5] u/kakacha: The depression is priced in regards
[+5] u/StandardDot5115: Buy in May and go away
[+13] u/ARogueAnt: Trump: Iran wants to make a deal, but I'm not satisfied.
holy shit SPY to 800 next week
[+12] u/Legitimate_Tough_119: Spys not going red today you dumb bears. If it does ill suck off every single guy here.
[+11] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: We are going straight to SPY 750. Then when a peace deal is announced we hit 800, and then elevator down straight to 600.
[+10] u/Local_Many_9108: Trump just approved all permits for the 2026 Red Snapper season for FL, GA, and SC in 2026... 730 EOD?
[+10] u/Portland-: that fucker turned my 50% wins into 50% losses. I'm so sick of this idiot
[+10] u/Moepenmoes: Ofc mango says this right after EU markets close...
[+9] u/Bilbo_Butthole: If you’re losing money in this market you genuinely may be retarded
[+9] u/IWishIwasAwhale1: everyone raging at bers right now. The spy is at 7fucking20 right now. mango man says something over the weekend for sure. PUTS BABY
[+9] u/Bulgy_Moose_ST: SELL EVERYTHING ITS OVER
[+9] u/mighty_sys_admin: going up for no reason is *BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS!*
[+8] u/_lueless: Anybody else shitmaxxing, I take about 4-5 shits a day
[+8] u/TheoryInttro: What the fuck did he say now?
[+8] u/nesnayu: 4 days of gains gone in 30 mins
[+8] u/shindiggaa: time to freak the fuck out
[+8] u/Bapu_: Market closed for the weekend, so time to start Iran posts from DJT
[+8] u/-Ophidian-: Theta is sucking our souls harder than Lorna sucked that guy's dick
[+8] u/fartpooppee420: I'm about to be homeless but thanks to the President I can fish an abundance of Red Snapper now.
[+8] u/xTeeD: Epic Fury round 2 starting 4:30 PM today. Got 60 more days without needing congressional action. The founding fathers never saw such genius coming
[+8] u/snuuby: hm.. i have puts. Do i make money for once?
[+8] u/Rugpull_Generator: Jesus christ
Shitty bears STILL talking shit
They bought all those 0dte 715p from me LMAO
[+8] u/dMestra: There's 0 difference between me and a millionaire. Six 0's to be exact
[+7] u/Tubular_Blimp: I would NOT short this market. This thing's got retard strength
[+7] u/spudbro00: Spy just traded it's lowest monthly volume for April since August 2020 (almost 6 years). Yet it went up 100 points lol
|**Month** |**Approximate SPY Volume**|
|:-|:-|
|**April 2026**|**\~1.18 Billion shares**|
|**August 2020**|**\~1.04 Billion shares**|
|**November 2019**|**\~1.03 Billion shares**|
|**August 2018**|**\~1.30 Billion shares**|
[+7] u/Legitimate_Tough_119: time out. i thought tariffs were deemed illegal and everyone is getting their money back
[+7] u/wallstreetsimps: 4 weeks of SPY pumping btw
[+7] u/ScytherDOTA: I rode spy calls an hour earlier, lets weekend dump now. Im with ya bears, imma bring out my black cat for this
[+7] u/Impossible_Top242: Turned 11k into 21k last week , this week I’ve turned that 21k into 16k still a win but really doesn’t feel like it anymore
[+7] u/Agitated_Garbage9404: yeah i sold, you guys can pump now.
[+7] u/Aggressive_Yard_3649: Only buy calls, if it’s not set to go up don’t buy anything, don’t touch puts, just trust me.
[+7] u/ApprehensiveUse9593: $SOUN - Soundhound squeeezin boys gogogo 12% already🚀🚀🚀
[+6] u/moorhound: Man, this place gets idiocracy-level dumb when SPY's on a green streak
[+6] u/Few-Frosting-4213: It's actually "sell in May? Go away!"
[+6] u/AquamDeus: The market giveth and the market taketh, today it giveth
[+6] u/Scribble_Box: The bulls in here are so annoying they're gonna turn me into a gay ber.
[+6] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: More than 2 weeks since the ceasefire I thought Iran was 2 weeks away from a nuke. Surely they have it by now right guys?
[+6] u/Active_Finish2316: Nahh this orange fella is acting crazy today 😂
[+6] u/tgff333: Spy, just plug your ears and don't listen
[+6] u/youngmacho: The stock market just does not care about anything other than going up
[+6] u/Flat-Focus7966: At this point buying puts makes perfect sense
You will still lose it all though...
[+6] u/MadeThatCash: Each country should just put a barrier up on cars and only sell their own cars in that country. Luckily in the UK we get Jaguar, Land Rover, and Aston Martin.
[+6] u/DeginGambler: Infuriating. My 0DTE were recovering nicely before that stupid fucking tweet.
[+6] u/MadeThatCash: RUGPULL accelerator in effect. 3 more hours to increase velocity
[+6] u/PinealTone: Why would 🥭 ever want to have a permanent peace deal when the on and off make the indexes +0.5% each time!
Cheat code money glitch unlocked!
[+5] u/Financial_Winter_497: MONGO! Get away from the keyboard!
[+5] u/RegularStudy9524: Imagine 722 had an actual real fundamental support behind it
[+5] u/Sharp-Direction-6894: I am ONCE AGAIN being fucked by RKLB and OKLO on this fine green day.
[+5] u/ten7four: Massive W for the bers today. SPY only up +0.4%
[+5] u/Candid_Payment_4094: This market is not good for my blood pressure
[+5] u/IndividualSea2881: Afternoon pump or afternoon dump? This $20 isn't going to lose itself
[+5] u/Tall-Can5000: SPY 717 PUTS
I can’t lose everyday right?
[+5] u/abroadbroadband: SPY look around, there's no reason to be so high
And SPY like,
# Nah! I'MA DO MY OWN THING.
🦾🦾
[+5] u/Quick1711: Good morning regarrrrddddssasss!!!!
[+5] u/DroidArbiter: You don't ship all those soldiers over there for no reason.
[+5] u/nothrowingawaymyshot: looks like I took my profits early, damn this is crazy
[+5] u/YTLupo: YOUR FISH HEAD WIFE WON'T MAKE MONEY
[+5] u/Alwaysfavoriteasian: You ever stop to think that you're the enter liquidity?
[+5] u/MajikoiA3When: the fuck is that candle?
[+5] u/Actual_Difference617: Those cannons on daily SPY chart🫦
[+5] u/xlmtothemoon: BREAKING: mangoman wants bol blood
[+5] u/tgff333: So how high we going the minute he shuts up
[+5] u/Largeshmarge: You totally suck at stock market dude
[+5] u/youbenchbro: Holy shit I bought 1000 shares of Spirit at 0.49.
[+5] u/DietOk3400: Its always tsla calls. Especially close to 400
[+5] u/The_Brem: the roulette wheel is broken
[+5] u/SigTauDan: All my stocks died for this pump, you all are welcome
[+5] u/GuwopGOAT: Micron carrying my port rn. My poet losses almost erased
[+5] u/jijitalk: WHOS BUYING RDDT WTF
[+5] u/Noxitati0n: Market does genuinely whatever the hell it wants with no rhyme or reason and we've all accepted it at this point lmao
[+5] u/MiddleAgedAverageGuy: So I guess we’re all here to lose our money again this cycle, anyone eyeing UPWK? Samish position Robinhood was in before the blowup.
[+13] u/shester811: Let's get SOUN to $10 today
[+11] u/Legitimate_Toe_3464: Up 120% on SOUN CALLS bought an hour ago
[+9] u/MadDabbed: At what point do we declare the $SOUN squeeze official
[+9] u/ckami_91: We got a year of gains in a month
LMAOOOO
[+9] u/TrickyDickCheney: GameStop joining the party is never a good sign
[+9] u/Ahzmer: Its 2030. Datacenters fill the landscape. Mag4 cover 90% of global market cap and pocket 50% of any income anyone gets. Oil is 300$ a barrel, but US has proposed concept of a plan to Iran and market rallies to ATH. Investors believe the oil question is simply a transitory hiccup.
[+9] u/Garbage-Disposal-938: "The market isn't rigged, you just pick shitty stocks" is very insulting. I also pick a lot of shitty ETFs.
[+9] u/GeoBro3649: The Iran war was so last April. We're back to tariffs babyyyy
[+9] u/buytopselldrop: Sold calls and back to puts, this is about to rip down. You heard it here
[+9] u/xeratice1: so just to confirm there was a correlation between SPY and USO and now that's no longer and we just move based on news headlines and tweets right? lmao
[+8] u/MadDabbed: SOUN DOESNT STOP THIS IS ACTUALLY GONNA SHORT SQUEEZE INTO EARNINGS
[+7] u/A_Credo: Now begins the selloff into the weekend.
[+7] u/Due-Fisherman-4459: so taco gonna strike Iran again this weekend and market dont care
[+7] u/iano_: I need a face ripper to 725 to teach me a lesson today. See what happens. Please daddy.
[+7] u/Apocalyptic-Post: SOUN volume still climbing… Def gonna pop on Monday
[+7] u/DarkR124: God damn. I was red on my SOUN calls this morning now I’m 97% green. Wonder if the short squeeze always talked about is actually happening.
[+7] u/Special_K_2012: I have Netflix calls which means it'll go down
[+6] u/Apocalyptic-Post: FYI SOUN is 38% shorted, with earnings next week. 0 shorts available per Fintel
[+6] u/Popoice: wait, market's open today? wtf
[+6] u/MajorLoaf: Fuck it, still a bear.
[+6] u/_AnecdotalEvidence_: Holy fuck this is boring
[+6] u/A10cc: So like, are they gonna open the strait of whoremoose? It's been a while and I'm starting to worry that the closure is gonna be no bueno for stuff.
[+6] u/Future-Eye1911: From +70% to 1% and sell. I had fun tho
[+6] u/Immediate_Type4095: My thesis is that they’re gonna bomb the shit out of Iran
[+6] u/OnlyBols: dont wanna buy the top and im not gey. day is over for me.
[+6] u/linnanetheman: Lmao time to pump all the way to 730 hold on tight
[+6] u/Burtonwurton: Honestly is anyone actually buying long term positions here? I am only playing options at these levels cause some of these valuations are straight retarded.
[+6] u/Coopalooper25: I’m not a ber but it feels like everything is a little too green lately…
[+6] u/TrickyDickCheney: Big spike up then chop the rest of the day. Fun
[+6] u/brownieinwhiteland: Yes on the way to -90%
[+6] u/Odd_Papaya8305: My 660 QQQ puts are cooked
[+6] u/itsnotshade: Bears mad that we have weekly peace deal rumors now.
[+5] u/Jaredthegoat_: bers are gonna get cooked again
[+5] u/Apocalyptic-Post: Hmm what’s that SOUN?
[+5] u/Ok_Abbreviations8440: SOUN fucking mooning
[+5] u/Marshmallowmind2: Every thought Instead of buying individual stocks and hoping they go up, why not buy the entire market which always goes up? Buy leveraged
[+5] u/theGameNWA: market is too bored to drop again based on tariffs
[+5] u/-IQ200: Took calls literally 1 minute before that -15 point spike down & immediately stopped out. Can’t make this up. 😭
[+5] u/Advanced_Divide_4641: The most toxic fruit
[+5] u/posicrit868: The deal 🇮🇷 is offering: “go *uck yourself”
[+5] u/geddyclaus: I got my hound sounded on that stock
[+5] u/imakesalotofmistakes: Why do they still interview this guy? Just put him at his desk with a plastic phone and tell him he's doing good
[+5] u/imakesalotofmistakes: Every single picture of Mike Johnson, he looks like a smug little weasel. Every single one
[+5] u/Iron-condor-6050: Holy smokes. Goog isn’t far off from NVDA. Goog could take over the number 1 spot.
[+5] u/BHull16: NOOOOOO MY PAYCHECK ON ALL PUTS TODAY. WHY
[+5] u/thegx7: NVDA 210 Friday. Source. My regarded 8 ball
[+5] u/LongroddMcHugendong: Gonna let you dorks in on a little secret, all the space stonks you’re buying are money burning machines with negative p/e’s trading on hype and hopium. Canadian company $MDA on the other hand, just listed on the NYSE in March, they’re a money printer and have their claws in multiple areas of the space industry.
[+5] u/Old-Confusion1766: My fault guys. I bought calls
[+17] u/NotMe357: "JUST IN: Protesters attempt to chain themselves to New York Stock Exchange during May Day demonstrations."
Damn, Bears go this far to get their money back.
[+11] u/cydworth: Pigs gets slaughtered
[+11] u/SmoothOperator423: FUCK I ACCIDENTALLY APPLIED AT MORGAN STANLEY NOT JP MORGAN!
[+11] u/Many_Perspective2594: Oil prices high as a kite , uncertainty on 20% of global energy , Tariffs back on the menu , war and spy at ATH. Gotta love it.
[+11] u/carvanaPUTS: Imagine watching a line all day and losing thousands amirite
[+10] u/stonetrade: Crazy thing is buying calls here isn’t even a bad idea
[+10] u/WocketWaccoon: SOFI is a huge piece of dogshit
[+9] u/meatstick94: who knew all QQQ needed to break through resistance was a global oil crisis
[+9] u/carvanaPUTS: My baby girl don’t need college fund, she’ll just learn a trade and work 100 hrs a week
[+8] u/Spy300: >TRUMP: WHEN OIL PRICES GO UP, WE MAKE A LOT OF MONEY
>TRUMP: FRANKLY, GAS PRICE HASN'T GONE UP AS MUCH AS I THOUGHT
✅️ The United States is executing a **Stealth Default**
[+8] u/johndsmits: *The war isn't a war. We're not fighting. So I get another 60days!*
(hence no war power resolution needed, we just witnessed the 1st gasligit war).
Stalemate, oil pumps, strait toll booth permanent, consumer is going to get hammered. Calls.
Marine insurance guy w/straight face: we don't know but insurance going up at least 30% \[forever\].
[+8] u/carvanaPUTS: IM BACK!!! at my moms house after losing everything
[+8] u/mcflinty_1: I think it’s probably wishful thinking for a 5 dollar pump
[+8] u/TopAcanthisitta2972: Fuck everything. What an oddity idiotic bubble that i missed out on and now we'll have a lost decade
[+7] u/Boring_Clothes5233: I am out. Sold everything. Been a solid run for 2026 but this looks like a blowoff top. I will be back later in the year.
[+7] u/Bravadette: Why is VIX pamping tho
[+7] u/chromeskittlez: Generational dip opportunity here
[+7] u/National-Log5203: I’m a bagholder by trade
[+7] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Bers on life support
[+7] u/darkspherei: Burry and Gamecock melting faces
[+7] u/Usedillusion7: Stevie Wonder could see the market was going to drop at the end of the day but wsb bols couldn't see it?
[+7] u/sudharsansai: Bring on the power hour pump!! 💪
[+7] u/Terrible_Act688: 🥭 is gonna drop bombs this weekend. Met with the military yesterday and talking about peace deals today. Sneak attack coming. 💯
[+7] u/meatstick94: i can’t decide on positions rn bc i truly have no idea what this market is doing
[+7] u/Club-Loud: 🚬🧸THE MARKET MEN ARE COMING TO GET YOU 🚬🧸
[+7] u/AllianceOrTheHorde: Happy international workers day to all the civilized nations taking a day off today!
[+7] u/iHateThisPlaceSoBad: Maybe we can start a nuclear war so stocks can REALLY rally.
[+7] u/kolovod: Here's a scenario. we strike tomorrow, destroy all the mosquito boats, bers ecstatic, futes blood red. By the time the market opens on Monday, he declares the end of the war, US has won, Strain open, nuclear deal can wait. We pump 3%.
[+7] u/joan_goodman: I feel underperforming in this crazy jump market
[+7] u/Initial-Patient-2096: lol soun about to pump again
[+7] u/NotMe357: Is this the end of the Pump?
[+6] u/cannythecat: If only there were more bers in 2008 we could have ended the recession with a short squeeze
[+6] u/PalpitationSmooth992: entire daily gain gone in the last 30 min
fuck this market nothing but semis go up
[+6] u/golfbumyo: My account went from $1.7 to $2.7 in a month
Crzy
[+6] u/Geoff_Dawmer: Now I feel like my hands have been injected with spiders.
[+6] u/karamkka: “Musk’s 2025 pay is about twice the Ebitda Tesla has generated since 2010, Liam notes.”
This cocksucker said ‘give me 2x everything you’ve made past 15 years and give me that shit for one year or fuck you im out’. What a negotiator and their entire board must’ve been lobotomized. Tsla is the Star Citizen of corporate America.
[+6] u/DeezSpicyNuts: Cho Chang was kind of a skeez yo how you gonna break Harry’s heart like that
[+6] u/Pale-Silver-8178: weekend disaster news position yourselves well
[+6] u/Commercial-Solid-328: 1% surviving bers popping up again excitedly and pressing puts puts puts
[+6] u/stupidber: Theyre talking about JP Morgan on Joe Borgan Experience
[+6] u/Shallwego68: Okay im ready for another massive green candle
[+6] u/FelwintersLie: Is this not common sense
[+6] u/DisgrunltedDan: Anyone know why there would be a $555 PUT strike 6/30/2026 on SPY , over 200K contracts ??!!
[+6] u/budsonguy: Why is the legendary stock pumping?
[+6] u/FindingZen4: CLX CLOROX 14 P/E, 5.7% div yield, boomer stock that will be here still after we die. Buy low
[+5] u/EntranceHaunting: Not that anyone cares here, as everyone is delirious but -
The major problem we're facing is that prices should have been higher weeks ago, to start reducing demand. Governments around the world instead supported demand by cutting excise duties and taxes. This is kicking the can down the world and we're going to reach operational minimums significantly quicker. This just means the price spike is going to be way nastier than it would have been if they let higher prices do demand destruction earlier. #prayforSPY
[+5] u/Practical_Corner8839: Trump: I will be increasing tariffs charged to the European Union for cars and trucks coming into United States. Tariff will be increased to 25% - Truth Social
[+5] u/RecoverOwn342: SOUN is going INSANE 🤯🤯🤯
[+5] u/lostroadrunner14: can you hear the SOUN!!!
[+5] u/bobby_stackz: Even though I'm up 6k on paper today is kinda gay
[+5] u/Trenavix: Labour day
The day where I go to work
[+12] u/JugoShvili: I’m honestly retarded
[+12] u/everybodydumb: SPY calls are like crack. I made 24k today. I sold like 20 minutes ago. If I didn't sell til now I'd have made 50k, haha.
[+11] u/jdfan51: lost $800 in 5 mins bcuz you retarded bulls
[+10] u/Joij21: EOD is always power hour. Sour hour is a fiction the bears made up.
[+10] u/UnnecessaryPancake: First time I've ever had a 350% gain before in under an hour
0dte trading is so fun
[+9] u/benj760486: I'm retiring from trading
For the weekend
[+8] u/bronzewhale: This is screaming dump into close, which is why it rockets into close
[+7] u/saduglystoopid: it would be soooo funny if gamecock did a silly billy right now
[+7] u/bearetard: Soun being pumped in here lmao can’t wait til the dump phase is over and we get flooded with dds on why it’s such a great long term investment
[+7] u/Embarrassed-Jump-212: Buy in May or you’re ghey
[+7] u/Jemmani22: Anyone getting soun calls for next week?
AI in the name is all you need to know.
If AI shoes can print, surely AI sound can
[+7] u/hotCupADank: at this point, the only logical thing that will happen when Iran is sorted is an absolute market dump. but since this is illogical... calls. but then that's logical, so puts. but deflation, calls. in conclusion, uwu
[+7] u/guzzledglizzy: I need that JP Morgan girl
[+7] u/Better_Finance_5470: My sexy brown fish head boy
[+7] u/j1022: $SOUN is seeing huge volume with shorts about to get cooked especially after next Thursday’s earnings
[+6] u/nv42o: this market is beyond retarded. everyone and their mother buying while the whales are loading up on treasory bills and gold. not a good sign
[+6] u/i_simp_f: fishhead fucking mods can't compete with these cannons
[+6] u/RockinOutCockOut: Fuck it 0dte put time
[+6] u/early-retirement-plz: RDDTs getting into SP500 in Q2 rebalance, you heard it here first
[+6] u/ComplexLook7: I wish I was a brown boy working at JPM 😢
[+6] u/nateyp123: This market is on fucking crack
[+6] u/fruitloop00001: No idea what the fuck SOUN even does but now I'm holding weeklies so lfg!
[+5] u/Happy-Champion1661: so up or down, but only in the next 72 hours. Got it
[+5] u/alexbizzy: What was the news on SOUN?
[+5] u/Opposite-Link: I’m gonna name my first born Intel
[+5] u/Foreigntragedy: Why is Adobe so ass man
[+5] u/Vegetable-Lemon6669: “THIS JUST IN: NOKIA TO 30$!”
*in a Japanese accent
[+5] u/chreds: Damn. Sold my 721 1dte calls yesterday. Took a gain but looks like I left a lot more on the table.