▶ Full Post Text
[+33] u/svpa3991: I advise Iran not to fk with us and take us seriously or else we might supply them uranium ourselves!
[+26] u/TouchTipz: Can’t wait for the typical CEASEFIRE TALKS GOING WELL, VERY PRODUCTIVE, THEY WANT TO MAKE A DEAL followed by a little IRAN WILL BE GREAT AGAIN with some WE ACHIEVED VICTORY
Then wait for Israel to start shit back up
[+23] u/conoremc: Oil? Up.
Inflation? Up. Even cooked with the chef's touch 11% annualized
Strait? Closed.
Ceasefire? Broken.
Peace deal terms? Untenable.
Job growth? None (unless you're California).
Projected CapEx AI spend? Down.
Monday? Big Shrek green.
[+22] u/Independent_Ad1086: How is spy at 680 wtfff
[+21] u/bearhunter429: #Markets closed, war back on LMAO🤌
[+20] u/No_Economist3815: Tell me another president that can publicly pump a private company during market hours when they are having a bad day, to pump their stock, and not be in prison?
[+19] u/bearhunter429: #Buy the fuckin Palantir stock you crazy bastards! Praise to be Allah! 🤌🦅🗽
[+16] u/drpa1n: Lost 12k revenge trading this week. Fuck this market and fuck mango for pumping pltr. Suck my hairy asshole you fat orange retard. Sincerely europoor. See you retards monday
[+15] u/Valkorion335786: Ceasefire talks are irrelevant
Israel bombs whoever and whenever lol
[+15] u/Molten-Helldiver: Mods remembered the thread for the weekend..nice
[+15] u/A10cc: # WOW MODS DIDN'T DROP THE BALL LIKE THE PAST 2 DAYS AND ACTUALLY UPDATED THE DAILY. I GUESS YOU GUYS AREN'T AS USELESS AS I THOUGHT.
[+15] u/TheMallard1: PLTR gonna need a refund on that sponsored post
[+14] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: We are now higher than where we were before the war started but now we have soaring energy costs and sky high inflation. You would think by now we've fully priced in world peace, but watch this 🤡🤡🤡 market pump to ATHs next week when 🥭 declares another "deal" is made.
[+13] u/ARSC_RexH: And now I go cry all weekend thinking about my poor portfolio and the idiot managing it (it's me).
[+13] u/ImSortaUseful: It was my mistake thinking the people on wallstreet aren’t retards
[+13] u/Moepenmoes: At work we have to attend group therapy sessions every month and share our personal (work related) problems. For the last 6 months I've been sharing the same problem as it's unsolved, but they're now asking me stop bringing up the same problem and to bring up a different problem instead. What the fuck is the point of those group therapy sessions?
[+12] u/mtnrnnr802: I’m in a very abusive relationship with MSFT and I’m the victim
[+12] u/Provolone-Jones: Holding oil through the weekend. Calls on Xanax.
[+11] u/Spiritual_Taste_1253: SPY is dead. It’s gone off the rails.
Time to go back to scalping individual stocks
[+11] u/Basicly-Inevitable: Just glad these talks are on the weekend. Wouldn't want to affect the markets..
[+11] u/Bob_the_peasant: What a disaster for Costco today.
I went in there and the food court cashier was just screaming “DOWN 3%” and throwing raw hotdogs at people. A forklift ran over a Mormon family who lost track of their 19th kid, and all the cashier could do was ask him if they wanted a box. At least they are starting to get Christmas decorations in before the May rush.
[+10] u/mangofruitdude: Damn I feel im the copilot in my own life
[+10] u/jda823: I can't believe they manipulated the market yet another week with limited tanker movement
[+10] u/nuhaarez: T minus 5 min till stupid tweet.
Gotta fuk bul and ber. Only insiders are allowed to profit
[+10] u/tandoori_taco_cat: lmao he's probably selling tweet mentions
[+9] u/Current_Pangolin8831: Lost 3k on calls today, literally bought at the top. Stupid is as stupid does
[+9] u/Chancey004: Well I misplayed this week. See u retards next week ❤️
[+9] u/RansomeRandom: Lost 9k being a bear this week. Gunna flip the script and lose another 9k being a bull next week.
[+8] u/Shoganai_Hito: RKLB fucking dead lately
Nearest catalyst is 1 plus year out
[+8] u/cloudsofgrey: What if I were to tell you the market only keeps going up because the dollar keeps going to shit
[+8] u/Happy-n-Healthy: COME BACK TO THE NEGOTIATING TABLE, YOU CRAZY BASTARDS!
[+8] u/Shoganai_Hito: Was supposed to take my wife to Mastro’s steakhouse tonight but Costco $1.50 hotdog & soda it gonna be
[+8] u/bearhunter429: #He tried to pump PLTR in the morning but failed LMAO🤌
[+8] u/Ihateporn2020: apparently Trump sent 6 B to Iran just for them to agree to talk.
[+7] u/PristineDiscount3208: lets see how well my lotto ticket put works out
[+7] u/Fast-Steak-7730: Made $30 on this beautiful price action today
[+7] u/zestykite: no way they dont fumble this over the weekend right? puts it is.
[+7] u/daisymoth9: the only time i even slightly respected melania was when she crashed out over decorating the wh
[+7] u/LaserBeamer17: Cash gang reporting 🫡
[+7] u/Comfortable733: 🥭 really tried to pump PLTR for Barron 🥴😂
[+7] u/vee1rot8: What a waste of a Friday
[+7] u/AntiqueProfessor5134: Less oil=less driving=more walking=less obesity=less GLP-1a
Short NVO and Lilly, it's foolproof
[+7] u/WrexyWrex: NOBODY NOTICES WE HAVE A DOUBLE TOP ON BOTH SPY AND QQQ AND PRICE REJECTED THE TOP OF THE SPY CHANNEL 5 TIMES NOW? JUST ME? OKAY I'LL GO FUCK MYSELF.
[+7] u/Kennenzulernen13: 33% of normal market volume, how nice
[+7] u/CLYDEFR000G: The first red day for SPY in all of April. Next week will be blood red
[+7] u/patmccock86: "Talks are going well! A little toll booth never hurt anybody! It's HEALTHY for the economy! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!"
[+7] u/bearhunter429: >Terafab aims to produce 1 terawatt (1 TW) of compute capacity annually, which would be a monumental increase over current industry manufacturing, potentially equating to 70% of TSMC's total current output.
#So Elon wants to build 70% of TSM's total capacity in one factory? LMAO🤌
[+7] u/Swiftnice: So it looks like 🥭 tweeted because he was sitting on his fat ass watching Burry talk about PLTR on fox news lol.
[+7] u/reactzzzz: ready for a framework for a concept of a deal of reopening the strait
[+7] u/andytobbles: Welp, up 100K this week. All cash for the weekend. Let’s roll retards!
[+7] u/Odd-Block-2998: MSFT, SNOW and CRWD literally give up in a bull market. lmao
Portfolio trailing > 5% from QQQ.
[+6] u/psytokine_storm: What a waste of a day.
[+6] u/zangor: Oh man you guys just fucking wait. One of these days MSFT **won’t** shit the bed really bad.
[+6] u/spacemoses: Intel really fisted me hard. Not sure why I bet against a company literally backed by the full faith and fuck you credit of the US Government.
[+6] u/TippyTippyTippyTop: Help! My couch is giving me that sexy look again.
[+6] u/Thedarkpersona: I remember one of the biggest lies that i was taught at college, that the market was rational.
[+6] u/NeighborhoodDry1821: Market is forward looking my ass
Why even go down in the first place unless you assume the war will never end
I hate it here
[+6] u/Morocier: I bought OWL today cuz some guy on CNBC said so. I dont usually listen to CNBC guys but this one really seemed like he didn't know what he was talking about
[+6] u/TheMallard1: they got demons on CNBC
[+6] u/Ble_h: Today could have been a email.
[+6] u/RealPrinceZuko: We couldn't just dump hard today after the scam pump the last couple days could we? +33% on puts but fuck man one of these days I'd love to be holding short dated options on a manic move
[+6] u/Jahbtownusa: This last week, I tried something new. I looked at WSB and looked at what movements would help the majority of posters on here. I then bought contracts for what would absolutely fuck the majority of the people on here. Interesting results.
[+6] u/Jealous_Archer_4522: Safe travels and GL to the astronauts aboard Artemis 2. Check coordinates. Splash down off of San Diego not the Straight of Hormuz.
[+6] u/Fine_Specialists: #NVDA GANG Members checking in
[+6] u/PossibleLack835: REPEAT AFTER ME. SOFTWARE IS NOT REAL, ITS JUST TEXT. NOBODY EVER BECAME A BILLIONAIRE WRITING A BOOK. SAAS COMPANIES ARE OVERVALUED BY THE BILLIONS. SHORT SHORT SHORT SHORT EVERY POP ThIS IS A GENERATIONAL OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE MILLIONS ON THE DEMISE OF SAAS
[+6] u/kazkeb: I got 99 problems and capital gains tax ain't one
[+6] u/cashflow_: Just testing something please ignore
[+6] u/MrRobotFancy: Tom Lee should have to show us his call positions to back his perpetual bullishness (although he makes money off some crypto thing anyway prob doesn't even bother with traditional equities)
[+6] u/Meamigoyo: Insane spy is pumping right now
[+5] u/mrgr33n420: Gonna rip in 12 minutes exactly
[+5] u/Meanboy_og: I love how the downgrades come AFTER the stock is down 40 percent for the year .. they pay these people . Laughable.
[+5] u/cowman711: Im full porting ( basically my net worth) in puts next week idc
[+5] u/bendraw: Do I play extreme sports? Yeah, I hold options over the weekend. Why yes, my mother did huff glue when she was pregnant with me.
[+5] u/Unlikely-Evening2919: Guys. Literally every single person here is bearish. You understand what that means right? Right?!??!
[+5] u/MissMatriarch: BREAKING: Ugandan military announces they are ready to deploy 100,000 troops to defend Israel.
Source: @Pizzintwatch on X
(Sorry, what?)
[+5] u/Mean_Bumblebee1945: I am short over the weekend on Qs. Am I in big risk?
[+5] u/rm0277: Apparently me and JD have more in common than just bangin’ couches… we’re also the only ones that do any work at our places of employment
[+5] u/captainri66: How can I get POTUS to pump my stock tickers?
[+5] u/RealPrinceZuko: MSFT being this low reminds me of GOOG at $146 a year ago. Shits gonna rip one of these days
[+5] u/E39_CBX: I don’t ask for much but I do need INTC back to 45.
[+5] u/wallStBetModsRGayAF: Mstr up 3% while corn up 9% weekly
When did corn become leveraged mstr?
[+5] u/WombatShwambat: TSLR when I have $200 worth of puts: -5%
TSLR when I have $2000 worth of puts: +5%
[+5] u/CallsOrPutsYES: #IS NOW the time to put EVERYTHING into MSFT?
[+5] u/No_Psychology_4339: You re crazy If you re holding Puts over the Weekend. 🥭 will do anything to get the straight Open and the Market Up. Wont even be real negotiations. Vance will just sign Irans 10 Point plan and probably deliver them an Atomb bomb for free just for good measure.
[+5] u/bearhunter429: #Thank God It's Friday (TGIF) restaurant chain to change their name to Praise Allah It's Friday (PAIF) LMAO🤌
[+5] u/doctorqaz: I bought NBIS puts for next week. How fucked am I on Monday
[+5] u/bendraw: I can’t believe ww3 is the new tariff pump and dump scheme. Like Russian roulette with nukes.
[+5] u/cryptohorn: Wsb impersonates bryon noem on weekends
[+5] u/G-IDIOTTHEMAN: It’s time to go full demon time.
[+5] u/cashflow_: I was gonna say something but nevermind
[+5] u/Leading_Form_8485: Look at that shit pump. Thank korean Jesus I sold my puts.
[+5] u/connortravels: Kindly, please do the needful and revert back, on priority.
[+5] u/lazyboyarise: We are not at ATH only because of SaaS. Lol
[+5] u/athens72: This weekend we have 1) the lowest consumer confidence number in history, 2) the strait is closed and countries are running low on gas and jet fuel, 3) Vance and Kushner telling Iran they “don’t hold any cards” lol, 4) 2 weeks of up markets back to before the war.
And you people are holding calls?? You got balls as big as church bells!
[+5] u/Dapper-Hat-6523: call me crazy... PLTR 150 by next friday?
[+5] u/GoZukkYourself: This entire day could have been an email.
[+20] u/MrDinglehut: I'm saying it. Islamabad is a bad name for a city in a Muslem country. It should be Islamagood!
[+19] u/Academic_Lock_1699: Ain't a better bear signal than the president shilling PLTR & TSLA 👌
[+18] u/kawkface: I was down like 28k and I finished up 2k. I was not built for this shit
[+17] u/NotMe357: "Israel prepared for the potential collapse in negotiations between US and Iran and a resumption of attacks, per Reuters"
[+16] u/LunchNo7823: So Melania being a prostitute sold from big E to 🥭 bullish or bearish?
[+15] u/WarmCan3034: How is it even legal for 🥭 to include pltr 😭 in his tweet
[+15] u/poopieuser909: tomorrow negotiations fail and on monday the spy hits 1000$ unlocking the SPY2
[+15] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Oil shock not being priced by futures market correctly...
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/10/business/energy-environment/iran-oil-prices.html?unlocked_article_code=1.Z1A.Qd04.sbd8IpVIt-C_&smid=nytcore-android-share.
[+14] u/Ok-Piano8789: >Trump says U.S. stands ready to use its 'full economic might' to strengthen Hungary's economy under Orbán's leadership
america last lol
[+14] u/ShoNuff1627: https://preview.redd.it/8w0x9nqxgfug1.png?width=1079&format=png&auto=webp&s=a5a1c4ff371fdf2084d0928461309aa789814fb4
Ready For Monday.....
[+14] u/MagneticRetard: negotiation falls through, Iran bombs GCC oil facilities, nukes will begin flying
monday opens -0.15%
[+14] u/TripleChen_LLC: lol futures continuing grinding up, even though talks with US and IRAN will fail and trump tweeting that IRAN will have until the following week to surrender or else he will bomb the shet out of them. MM really trying hard for retail to FOMO in with this gay action to get some exit liquidity over the weekend.
[+14] u/gayforgoblin: can't believe i have to work a fucking job for the next 30-40 years, rather die early tbh
[+13] u/CATLLM: Oh shit its gonna dump over the weekend again isn’t it? Fuk
[+13] u/Independent_Drop4317: It’s not about value and fundamentals anymore. It’s all about manipulation and fraud. So what’s the ticker other than carvana?
[+13] u/Red_Zone_Broly: Imagine a book written by gym owners saying that gym owners are divinely chosen and can murder you to steal your land so they can build more gyms.
lol that would be insane
[+12] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: **BREAKING NEWS**: CONCEPTS OF NEGOTIATIONS ONGOING
[+12] u/ten7four: So like. Oil is kinda guaranteed to climb in price with europe and soon US getting the last of their shipments, right.
"Priced in" blah blah, sure maybe a little but I don't really think so. I get the impression more it's being suppressed for as long as it can, until the dam inevitably breaks. The general public isn't gonna realize the severity of it until it's affecting their day-to-day lives. You're telling me we're gonna get $8/gallon gas prices but USO, BNO etc isn't gonna keep going up?
[+12] u/TestInteresting221: God speed to the Iranian negotiator. Hopefully he wears a suit and say thank you more than once. 🙏😰
[+11] u/Maleficent-Couple-76: Unpopular opinion, the market rally this week was pricing in a deal this weekend
[+11] u/jmc774: Wonder how much PLTR paid for that tweet that didn't do shit lmao
[+11] u/one_excited_guy: once again it's time to monitor the situation
[+11] u/wrongrobertpatrick: For the love of god please dump
[+11] u/ten7four: I'm shocked to discover that I am in fact underperforming the market
[+11] u/CaptCookbook: PAMPERS ($PG) are proven to have great leak fighting capabilities and elasticity. Just ask Melania!!! - President DJT
[+11] u/FrostySoftPressure: Just started new trading strategy where I inverse myself and I’m still losing money
[+11] u/AmbassadorGloomy8915: SPY 700 moday Mark my words! UGLY bears will tremble with Fear! This weekend will be CRAZY! -Mark D. S. Offfical
[+11] u/Canadianinvestor1997: To put into perspective just how expensive a company is, imagine you go to the store wanting a can of soup. Normal it’s one dollar. But today, it’s $20. That’s fucking Tesla right now, and gullible morons literally bid it up. You can’t make this shit up
[+11] u/big_chestnut: it's 2 years since i quit my 100k/year job, i lost 35k last year but made back 15k this year, i think i got this. only uphill from here. can't become a billionaire without taking risks
[+11] u/jonneh: PLTR down so bad they got 🥭 running ads 😂
[+11] u/Vort3x7689: Wow people really don’t want to hold oil over the weekend even though the Iranians won’t even show up lmao
[+10] u/pineapplekiwipen: i knew 125 was strong support for PLTR but i did not expect the president of the united states to tweet at support to turn it up
[+10] u/a_case_of_everything: Wishing JD an extra super safe and productive trip to Pakistan ;)
[+10] u/wbradford00: Why the hell would they name a city in a 98% Muslim country IslamaBAD and not something like IslamaGOOD?
[+10] u/Liminal_Aspect: I’m fucking sorry but is it puts or calls when a leader tweets a snuff film?
[+10] u/TJMBeav: The market has obviously claimed a lot of victims the last week and it appears it got some of the more obnoxious posters here.
I approve
[+9] u/tech2887: Im going to hop into my Ford (F) truck and eat lunch at McDonald's (MCD). Then do some shopping at Target (TGT).
[+9] u/TheGodDavidLoPan: He didnt just tweet Palantir, he mentioned the ticker. Its such a blatant boost that I have to respect it.
[+9] u/Internal_Field5970: Upvote if you think it’s a little gay to kiss the homies goodnight but you still do it anyways
[+9] u/Ok-Escape-9781: I have a dream that one day MSFT will be green for a day.
[+9] u/looool_k_libtard: Market back near ATH, 98% of stocks are down 80% or more while 90% of them are up 170% over 4 months. I have a PhD in math.
[+9] u/TreGet234: If employers are complaining about millenials and gen z they will absolutely loathe gen alpha. Like holy fuck. Gen alpha will just walk out if you annoy them.
[+9] u/Waiting4Reccession: > CEO Sam Altman's house was reportedly the target of a Molotov cocktail attack on Friday.
Sounds like somebody lost money on thr ai trade.
Also what happened to the openai worker that had the suspicious death way back. 🤔
[+9] u/technak: So just to make this clear, first the administration labels anthropic is a national security risk, And then in the same time encourages Wall Street to try out mythos to help it with its security vulnerabilities. Lmfao you can't make this shit up
[+9] u/jmc774: Iran gonna present JD with their finest couch this weekend 🤌
[+9] u/kanyedidnothingwr0ng: I do not understand this story at all my dude
[+8] u/HaveTwoBananas: 🥭 just has to say they have a framework of a deal or something and equities will rally. Doesn't matter if there is one or if the strait stays closed.
[+8] u/No_Fee8324: Lol, wat idiot is holding spy puts over the weekend?
((Its me))
[+8] u/Internal_Field5970: Upvote if you love cankles
[+8] u/BratwurstSpectator: While I was on vacation in turkey I've seen an Arab trying to negotiate on the price of the ice he was already eating. Have fun with that and all the other arabs in the room.
[+8] u/OsamaBagHolding: Quatar: this has been the worst bribe plane in the history of bribe planes
[+8] u/Wrath_FMA: How do I stop thinking about the market during the weekend, I literally don't have a major position
[+7] u/GoldenAries4: Considering the markets ran ahead of these potential ceasefire talks, what’s the bull case?
The markets have been pumping for several days straight and it’s pumping on very shaky headlines while ignoring any bad news.
The fact that it’s been pumping hard for days means a pullback/profit taking may be more likely. Buyers may be exhausted and sellers might show up to sell at these higher prices.
If the talks go well (which seems unlikely) how do you guys know it’s not already priced in and they won’t sell the news?
If the talks don’t go well, then this optimism pump was for no reason and a dump should follow.
All things considered, why is anyone feeling bullish? To me this seems more likely the drop a bit, whether the news is good or bad.
[+7] u/HellKnightKilla: Blew up my account for the xth time, granted it's peanuts compared to the bears who made big bets things would go back to doomer mode even though they're right
🥭 loves his pump and keeping the markets happy
[+7] u/blockchainkitty: Flaws in the AI systems employed by Palantir and Anduril have resulted in alarming mistakes, including the misidentification of schools as barracks and heists as war crimes. These errors have had devastating consequences, including the tragic loss of 168 children due to automated casualties. The industrialization of warfare has led to an alarming rise in mistakes, with tech entrepreneurs reaping profits while civilians suffer the consequences.
[+7] u/chikenbeer: "Dad, did you see the ceasefire? Markets mooning"
"Damn son, did you get a job yet?"
[+7] u/Soffatjockis: Both oil and gold dumping.
Wtf
[+7] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: Wasn't the strait supposed to be already open since Wednesday?
There's only been 3 ships in the last 24 hours. And it looks like some are just Iranian ships.
[+7] u/weewoowewoooo: So markets really are gonna be boring as shit for the next 2 weeks huh? Lmfao
[+7] u/FrostySoftPressure: Going into the weekend without any positions feels better than profit
[+7] u/LouieM13: Real funny we got AI fears before the Iran shit, then when we got a two week ceasefire, now we got Mythos fears.
[+7] u/jonneh: Good news bros! 🥭 just said "Strait open very soon" 🥶
[+7] u/abroadbroadband: # OH MY GOD WE'RE HAVING A FIRE
^sale.
[+7] u/GreenGameboyColor: No can do. I got an 8:30 res at Dorsia
Great sea urchin ceviche
[+7] u/justanaveragejoe520: Market closed cue 2 days of fuckery followed by a pump it up tweet Sunday night
[+7] u/pineapplekiwipen: damn thats brazy bro
[+7] u/Legitimate_Tough_119: your idea of ripping is weak
[+6] u/hudson701: 🥭's tweet about PLTR did fuck all for it today lolzlzlzlz
[+6] u/Internal_Field5970: Why can’t my stocks just pump retardedly hard everyday
[+6] u/Zeppu: Seriously, where the hell is this retarded bullish force coming from?
[+6] u/poopieuser909: can someone with twitter access translate the hebrew tweets so we can get a sense on whats happening
[+6] u/LunchNo7823: Its actually too bad US is so stupid. It'd be better if it werent. For all of us I mean.
[+6] u/ihopethisworksfornow: See the interesting thing about my shitposts is that the target consumer *is you*, but it’s being produced *for me*, and honestly the behavior of the consumer is pretty much entirely inconsequential as to whether or not more shitposts are produced
[+6] u/Traditional-Koala927: Remember when Warren Buffett got really angry that some religious figure copied all of his trades by investigating his work. So Warren Buffett created Class B stocks and now you don't even get to see him once a year. That was fun
[+6] u/probably-ck: I forgot to sell my puts bc I had a video call with my gf and she showed me her breasts. worth it
[+6] u/softboiledjadepotato: Here comes another installment of the post market Weekend War
[+6] u/Hot_Avocado_2701: Curious what bomb they’ll drop this weekend that will turn the market around again
[+5] u/Individual_Error_428: Nvda prob to 250 soon
[+5] u/Sharp_Mistake_3119: Going on a date tomorrow. Should I tell her I'm a discord mod or nah
[+5] u/cryptopolymath: With the $PLTR tweet my 2026 bingo card is full
[+5] u/Go-Woodpecker3908: Pltr Hail Mary on my puts. Still here to lose another day.
Praise Allah
[+5] u/Brief_Challenge_1163: At this point, is anyone else done looking at numbers, analysis, news, projections, earnings, etc.
It really seems that none of it matters anymore at all.
[+5] u/Thebaxxxx: If youre still fucking with options after that textbook pin on the largest index you hate money. Or stocks in general really. Time to find another way to make money until the market finds a reason to move again. But i think its dead, personally. Which doesnt mean it will go down, it just means manipulation will get extreme.
[+5] u/big_chestnut: the war is priced in, it's only going up from now. im buying spy 700 leaps
[+5] u/wendysdumpstr: does anyone else just full port every play? i somehow survive but a little bit of me dies every time
[+5] u/OkAlternative7705: People here really think markets care about negotiation or war? Inflation? Midterms? It’s all useless in front of money they would get by fucking with your puts
[+5] u/LunchNo7823: Imagine the president advertising a company live on social media, primetime on a Friday and he gets a $4 pump, 4 buckaroos
[+5] u/BigBattyFatty: I was a retard today lads, didn't take my hard earned earnings and decided to double down not cash out. Someone hold me
[+5] u/ihopethisworksfornow: Lotta people don’t understand allowing yourself to seem retardrd, in order to make people assume you’re retarded and act retarded themselves.
That’s where you can squeeze out a lot of untapped comedic potential.
[+5] u/DarkR124: Weird day. Almost everything I was watching had like half the regular volume.
[+5] u/hallett21: SPY 700 Monday morning.
[+5] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: I’m posting this using my AAPL iPhone
[+5] u/HonestScar7176: I am absolutely shoring the hell out of PLTR. If trump tweeting it isn’t the sign it’s over then I don’t know what is. He’s gotta go
[+5] u/NotRllytho: We should start a fund
[+5] u/Labatt_Blues: I bought calls cause there’s always a weekend pump. Whatever, let it rip.
[+5] u/confused_teabagger: >Burry still bearish on Palantir despite Trump endorsement
He's got the strongest claws of any bear! Some are saying the strongest of all time!!
[+5] u/pineapplekiwipen: any regard can draw crayon lines on a chart but it takes real skill to convince other regards that those lines are worth paying monthly for
[+5] u/Ok-Thought-9960: 2026 year of the rat (insider)
[+5] u/pineapplekiwipen: buttcorn up? hood down ✅
buttcorn down? hood down ✅
spy up? hood down ✅
spy down? hood down ✅
hood up? hood down ✅
[+32] u/astrawberryandakiwi: I grew up dirt poor. I’m 50k away from breaking half a mill networth
Not the achievement it once eas but it is an incredible feeling to go from living off 10-15k year to my net worth being close to crossing half a mill
[+29] u/DoubleFamous5751: https://preview.redd.it/zb01igyjlfug1.jpeg?width=1092&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=47f053e9ead55e81be55e2280ae56ade59d0d5f9
The last thing you see before you get margin called
[+22] u/OPINION_IS_REGARDED: The dude whose only qualification is fucking the president's daughter has been replaced by a hillbilly LMAO these negotiations are fucked
[+20] u/SeaweedLeft9746: So, Jeff E. was fucking Melatonin before she met 🥭 ? 😂😂😂
[+16] u/No_Cod972: I think I just saw Charlie Kirk crossing the strait...
[+16] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Iran big dumb for even showing up to these negotiations. But seeing 🇨🇳 in the background means shit above my IQ level is going on. Anyways here’s your 🍟
[+14] u/Montyprice7206: Never seen a guy assassinate a country’s leader and blow up all their shit and still lose
[+13] u/Regular_King_4157: "OPENING THE STRAIT WILL HAPPEN PRETTY QUICKLY" - so it looks like it is not happening this weekend. Bols are going to get gaped next week.
[+13] u/twostroke1: Eastern time gang already home starting to enjoy the weekend.
West coast time gang still at work rn probably on a little teams meeting talking about circling back, or project scope, or schedules lmaooo
[+12] u/OpinionatedDeveloper: https://preview.redd.it/6849aqhhlfug1.png?width=512&format=png&auto=webp&s=d948f7a0517cf4785954ac6b0c5be233bbda6e6d
FUCK ME RORY!!!
[+12] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: “You don’t need a backup plan” says 🥭 haha we’re fucked
[+12] u/geddyclaus: Only 1 tanker went through the STRAIT OF HORMUZ in the last 24 hours and that one is already earmarked for P. Diddy
[+12] u/fomoandyoloandnogrow: **SEC IF YOU’RE LISTENING, I HOPE YOU CAN FIND THE FINGERPRINTS ON** 🥭 **MANS SPARE TRUTH SOCIAL ACCESS PHONE TO FIND OUT WHO TWEETED THAT PLTR MANIPULATION TWEET. MANGO ALWAYS SIGNS HIS FULL NAME ON HIS TWEETS, THAT WASN’T PROBABLY HIM**
[+12] u/Weak_Emu3659: Bunch of sick disgusting perverts
[+12] u/Lurk_Maximus: At 2:30 I got an email from YouTube saying they raised the premium to 15.99. at 2:32 I cancelled my subscription
[+12] u/DisgrunltedDan: Ceasefire talks don’t matter. Priced in. Shot up on fake ceasefire news already. Never corrected itself. So we already here.
[+11] u/Me-Regarded: The IRS is in disarray and gutted. Do I risk it?
[+10] u/Remarkable_Owl_7039: Tonight or tomorrow Israel gonna bomb Lebanon and iran is going to retaliate and trump gonna say some biggly words and oil will go up and market will go down. Source : google trend stocks in Washington DC, chevron and chip makers.
[+10] u/AirportMaterial5917: Life is meaningless with a closed market
[+9] u/Clappindemcheekies: No one thinks there is going to be a peace deal this weekend. So I guess we are getting a peace deal.
[+9] u/ModeForJoe: What's the likelihood of this ceasefire going south within the next 6 1/2 days?
[+9] u/fomoandyoloandnogrow: I don’t usually short individual stocks, but fuk that 🥭 colored regard and his PLTR plunge protection tweet
[+8] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Japan news already wondering how 🥭 gonna kiss ass to open the strait
[+8] u/huffmancoded: I saw a few degenerate movies/shows made by amazon prime studios sometime in 2024 and decided that this dogshit company didn't deserve my money
77 orders in 2024
2 orders in 2025
0 orders so far in 2026
Very satisfying
[+8] u/Zfreezy: I did not have sexual relations with that couch
[+7] u/TrollerCoasterWoo: > During the meeting with Wall Street leaders, summoned by US Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent and Federal Reserve Chair Jerome Powell, executives were warned that they should take the Mythos model seriously and deploy its capabilities to detect vulnerabilities, the people said, asking not to be identified because the information isn’t public.
The heads of banks were called together by the Treasury Secretary of the U.S. to push them to adopt new software?
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2026-04-10/wall-street-banks-try-out-anthropic-s-mythos-as-us-urges-testing
[+7] u/ShopWhileHungry: So there's a chance the negotiation won't even happen because of criterias given by Iran? Doesn't feel like they're desperate for talk, 🥭 is. What a cluster fuck
[+7] u/fomoandyoloandnogrow: Did you even say thank you for not nuking Tehran?
[+7] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Unemployed tiktok traders shilling semis. Top is in
[+6] u/chuastan: Microshit and planturd should take a page from Amazon and coreweave- just do a deal together. Problem solved.
[+6] u/Ancient_Let7878: Bought some more banana chips thanks to Amazon
[+6] u/Sandvicheater: Had to play tech support for my Gen Z niece and nephew, I thought this generation was wired it and knows all the tech stuff?
[+6] u/userusery24: MSFT is ruining my retirement goals (to retire sometime next week ideally)
[+6] u/Ilovebadjokes: I hope you’re buying chips because I bought the dip.
[+6] u/ban-bet: Everyone be quiet, three people are typing
[+6] u/SonOfLuigi: Gods, my port was up 8% today and I just hit the most massive arm/bro day I just know all the baddies were gooning in there
[+6] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: Fruit man cant do much when Iran is going to assert tolls on the strait.
The rest is all negotiable except this.
Iran will accept "small" uranium enrichment in exchange for doing business with the world - i.e. sell their oil to the world + tolls.
And Fruit man is going to declare victory and taco out of the war for good.
[+5] u/bols_are_cooked: SpaceX to report a $5B loss, apparently. RIP Elon come midterms.
[+5] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: Just one of those days where you do DD on OKTA and then fat finger the search and accidentally buy OKLO.
Fuck me.
[+5] u/Regular_King_4157: Gap down monday and then opex choppiness for the rest of the week will be disgustingly boring, so high probability that it happens.
[+5] u/JohanLiebert92: I really should read the headlines and news more about stocks, fml this dude got a 2500% bagger from the CoreWeave deal from a small play
opportunities everywhere, too regarded to see
[https://www.reddit.com/r/stockstobuytoday/comments/1shq5vk/anthropic\_just\_hopped\_in\_too\_my\_crwv\_102\_call\_is/](https://www.reddit.com/r/stockstobuytoday/comments/1shq5vk/anthropic_just_hopped_in_too_my_crwv_102_call_is/)
[+5] u/severed02: You get a pardon and you get a pardon and you get a pardon
[+5] u/Bulky_Winter1671: I feel like I need to just spend all my money so I can stop doing this shit
[+5] u/Acceptable_Dirt69: Berhole in shambles after this week
[+5] u/No-Improvement3164: I lost 666.60 today. It’s over for me.
[+5] u/diefy7321: The fact that Tesla doesn’t already have a more affordable model already up its sleeve is lmao
[+5] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: a friday that isnt totally insane....are we back?
[+5] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: didnt feel right seing spy at 679, 680 looks more beautiful
[+5] u/Marshmallowmind2: They fuckin know and bought at close
[+5] u/GodLevelRedditor: Did you guys moon or goon today?
[+5] u/Treverer: Israel now threatens Spain.
What’s next, they’ll lay claim to Falkland Islands?
[+5] u/bilingualbunny: 688c for Monday, somehow already up 34% after close. Someone knows something
[+5] u/Urzuck: Got banned for 3 days, came back just in time for the biggest bear market of the century (in my head).
[+5] u/Significant_Speed854: Clearly the war and oil doesn't matter much to the market/prices since ... look at where we are at now. The war was MM and big money's way of shaking out retail and buying in at a lower price. They were just headlines pumped at retail while they made and planned big money moves.
[+5] u/wattap: Because you touch yourself at night
[+5] u/Junkingfool: This one time..at Reddit camp..
[+5] u/-Ophidian-: If you think he won't claim something bullish yet fraudulent Monday before open I want what you're smoking
[+17] u/_Netgirth: 😂 can’t believe mango even dropped the ticker, so fuckin shameless
[+17] u/PulIthEld: 16 years ago, 10.000 BTC got you a couple of pizzas, today it gets you 350 ships through the Strait of Hormuz…
[+15] u/patelchief90: i hope PLTR crashes to earths core. fuck 🥭 and fuck karp
[+14] u/oldsguy65: "We have won the war and now we have won the peace deal. I'm proud to announce that the Strait of Hormuz is NOW FULLY OPEN to any ship willing to pay a $2 million toll."
[+13] u/Hang_Man1: fuck me I lost a good amount on options this week
[+13] u/IslandExact429: I’m not a panican but something very fucking sus is happening in Credit & banking
[+11] u/try_repeat_succeed: Who is expecting the war to resume? Trump said “ceasefire talks are going well” so I expect the opposite to be true (the inverse-Trump is even more reliable than the inverse-Cramer)… Plus JD Vance is apparently leading the talks? He couldn’t deescalate a rock off a cliff.
[+10] u/Bluesquare9: I wonder if a real human has ever responded to a Truth Social post or whether it’s just bots all the way down
[+9] u/Professional_Fly7427: I've reached the age where I am now told how to do my job by a 24 year old college grad with no experience in management or business
[+9] u/Newlife_40: Iran is accepting toll payments through the strait but only in BTC.
The accounts can’t be frozen or seized.
This is big time for BTC
[+9] u/Dornitz: ONLY 20K AWAY FROM 100K PLEASE GOD.
[+8] u/Threebridges2: “US continues to reinforce assets in Middle East. WSJ reports that more fighters and tankers were sent to the region, and additional members of the 82nd Airborne division can be deployed as well in the next days. This comes as the USS George H. W. Bush will arrive soon in the Mediterranean Sea, and the USS Boxer Marine Amphibious landing ship LH-4 is en route from the Pacific”
[+8] u/9tacos: Barron: Fuck you and Fuck your father too!
[+8] u/zeebee098: I could feel the seasonal depression slowly leaving my body today
[+8] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: wen bridge and power plant day? 👉👈
[+7] u/J_da_CPA: Bro mad from comments on Reddit lmao
[+7] u/IslandExact429: IM GAY
IM GAY
IM GAY
[+7] u/bluen: Bruhs what if wind is actually alive
[+7] u/rcantu314: Can’t believe they planned Artemis to land 5 minutes after AH close just in case something goes wrong
[+7] u/Klutzy-Salad534: Why this subreddit is more funny than the subreddit which are dedicated to be funny. 🗿
[+7] u/ajibtunes: Everytime i post my pictures on IG i lose followers 😞
[+7] u/ziggyho: Bulls furious that ships are still not moving
[+6] u/Revolutionary-Owl766: So the Iranians actually showed up???
[+6] u/568891: I lost 4k today :-( back to where I was a month ago
[+6] u/SeliciousSedicious: ‘HAHAHA LOOK AT ME’ *half squints into the smudged and dirty mirror* ‘IM THE NEXT MICHAEL J BURRY. IM GONNA MAKE SO MUCH ON THESE PUTS. WHAT A GENIUS I AM’
~probably some bear, circa 3/30/2026
[+6] u/sailortyx56: This faith of this ceasefire lies on the shoulder of someone who fuks couches. ffs.
[+6] u/AllCapNoBrake: Used to crank my hog 5 times a day. Don't do it anymore.
[+6] u/IslandExact429: I’ve spent $36k on commissions YTD
AMA 🤫
[+6] u/Infinite-Anybody204: Bro just said if things dont work out the Strait just gonna be closed😂
[+6] u/oldsguy65: Negotiations are going very strongly. Very powerfully.
[+6] u/RunesDubloons: I definitely and 100% trust Robinhood to be truthful and honest with me when it comes to gambling on the weather in a completely different state using their predictions markets.
[+6] u/dopeadult: we need another round of stimmy checks like now
[+6] u/Due-Information-6277: Iran arriving like they the avengers or something lol
[+6] u/IslandExact429: Beer before dinner is the way to go
[+6] u/Nice-Truck8806: To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand the market. The dynamics are extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the tech plays will go over a typical investor's head. There's also powell's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The bears understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these insights, to realize that they're not just predictive- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who are bullish in equities truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in trump's existencial catchphrase "drill baby drill," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as bessent's genius unfolds itself on their bloomberg terminals. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a michael burry tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
[+6] u/Massive-Assistant387: Holding calls into the weekend thing JD Vance has got this.
Cooked?
Also oil puts because I fuck
[+6] u/FuzzyStable2974: You eventually become numb and then the world and all the things and people in it feel gray and bland. Except for those rare moments when the market moves your way and you're alive again.
[+5] u/No_Current3675: Why is Tehran Tony not giving us stock tips?
[+5] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: Fed sweating over private cwedit
[+5] u/saduglystoopid: BRING BACK MENUS AT RESTAURANTS
[+5] u/music_is_gud: It's that time of the week
Time to ~~moon~~ goon
[+5] u/broke_person: It's Friday evening. Go outside and touch some grass bro (me in my bed being lazy)
[+5] u/Jordykins850: https://x.com/deitaone/status/2042736308854874574?s=46
Finally. Regional banks this huge, glaring, obvious for 100 reasons powder keg that could blow at anytime and drag everything down with them (until printer goes brrr)..
Horrible, bad behavior in multiple areas has been allowed to go on for years now.. they got like 3 different cans they keep kicking down the road (bond book losses, CRE loans, “private” credit exposure).
It’s the easiest short in the market this side of software and packaged foods (both of which might’ve run their course, hopefully, for our sakes).
Concerns over AI security breaches causing withdrawals or mass AI layoffs two other NEAR HORIZON catalysts that would trigger implosion as well. It ain’t alright at your local banks, yall!
[+5] u/31andnotdone: I have my windows open and a cool breeze coming in and the birds are chirping
i dont like it
[+5] u/VyPR78: Straits staying closed. They "lost" the mines.
[+5] u/No_Current3675: The fuck am I supposed to do now?
[+5] u/angrybubblez: Just before the close I have purchased 3,000 bucks worth of 4/13 650 puts. It has to be the dumbest play on this sub today……. That’s why it’s gonna hit
[+5] u/Flat-Resolution905: Thought the market would be still open, didnt close my long oil CFDs. how fukt am I :(
[+5] u/LeakMyBigBowls: Why need enemies when you got yourself😀
[+5] u/financiallythriving: Stop the market talk it is the weekend shitpost thread
[+5] u/SeaTop7998: Please think of the shareholders during this difficult time. Remember to say thank you !
[+5] u/DonaldSnowLoa: Funniest thing about PLTR is when people try to make fun of burry when it has Green days as if it’s not down 40% from ATH
[+5] u/Thin_Response_2689: I just full ported spy longs with a few lottos I’m done options until shit stabilizes
[+5] u/bluen: you can get perma banned for this
[+5] u/w33dw1zard420: It really helps when you specify whether you’re talking about nipple rings or homicide
[+15] u/ThinkingOfTheOldDays: Iran says they don't know where they put the mines 😏
[+15] u/ConstantAd1: NASA is cool. Fund NASA.
[+14] u/PompeiiSketches: >Reporter: Strait or more moves as well?
Cheeto: "Yeah, but that’ll open up automatically. Yeah, the answer is yes, but the strait will open up.
If we just left, the strait’s going to… otherwise, they make no money. So the strait’s going to open. But what we have is no nuclear weapon, but we’ll open the strait anyway.
Don’t forget, we don’t use the strait. Other countries use the strait. So we do have other countries coming up, and they’ll help out.
But we don’t use it. It won’t be easy. It won’t be… I would say this: We will have that open fairly soon.
Wild.
[+14] u/wildcat1055: # Anthropic claims newest AI model, Claude Mythos, is too powerful to be released
So basically, same as my pp
[+11] u/IncredibleTh0ughts: BREAKING: Meeting is postponed due to the Delta Lounge couch giving the side eye
[+10] u/Flat-Focus7966: When you are in 50% cash just to sleep better....
And then wake up remembering all the gains you missed
[+10] u/barkwoofgrrr: Apparently the source that Iran can't locate the mines is US officials, so you can't rule out that they would just make that up as a reason for why Iran isn't obeying 🥭. Nobody has any credibility any more
[+10] u/Hwangoutpltr: Lets get Katy Perry's opinion. She's an astronaut, too
[+9] u/GreatRegard: Bwahhhhhaaahhaha
[Iran Unable to Find Mines in Strait of Hormuz, U.S. Says The lost mines have prevented Iran from quickly complying with President Trump’s demand to allow more ships to pass through the waterway.](https://www.nytimes.com/2026/04/10/us/politics/iran-mines-strait.html)
[+8] u/Yogurt_Up_My_Nose: I remember people 6 days ago being proud about being cash gang. they definitely missed the run.
[+8] u/clubdirthill: Iran should have invested in AirTags for their mines. Calls on AAPL.
[+8] u/Independent-Tree-985: We gonna find out that Melania's life story is basically pretty woman, but with a twist
[+8] u/cripky: These iranian diplomats could get blown out of the sky after this meeting and SPY would still moon bigly next week
[+8] u/Fun-Valuable-7355: McIlroy absolutely dominating
[+8] u/Nanas_700k: The 6 minute blackout is when they switch sets in Hollywood
[+8] u/benj760486: Watching your moms butt plug falling to Earth
[+7] u/winston511: Lmao bro I told you they didn’t know where the mines were bc we killed all the dudes who laid them
[+7] u/SeaEnvironmental756: Someone said “PLTR 0DTE $125P will be a 5x tomorrow at open, and the stock dropped $5 on the first candle and he was right…
Fucking HOW?
[+7] u/1bizzyone: 38,300 ft per second is pretty fukin fast
[+7] u/stonetrade: 1. Become presedent
2. Obtain insider information
3. Use it to illegally make hundreds of millions
Three simple steps to become rich why isn’t everyone doing this?!?
[+7] u/wenxuan2: This whole comment hurts my brain
[+7] u/Bright_Lynx_2779: They're on the Denny's treasure map
[+6] u/winfortheboys: I heard Iranians are bringing persian couches to distract JD
[+6] u/Dr_Vibe_Check: Peace deal finalized this weekend, spy to 700 Monday
[+6] u/SPY_0DTE: Remember when Elon and Zuckerberg were gonna fight then Elon said his mommy won't let him
[+6] u/SnoStrm: Mango putting the PLTR ticker in parenthesis in his pump post is actually one of the most hilarious things he’s done.
[+6] u/Ninefingerzs: The Iran situation is like this, you start banging the girl across the street who has five roommates, she thinks you’re the man of her dreams who is gonna take her out of poverty, all you have to do is leave your wife but you don’t want to, you wanna have the best of both worlds, you have your fun for about a week and it’s over, you’ve moved on, but she fell in love with you, now you’re trying to make a deal with her to not tell your wife and ruin your life. That’s 🥭
[+6] u/Hwangoutpltr: She's a 7, but she has an old leather boot in her ass
[+6] u/f0xinaround: Damn live YouTube chat is always a good tempature check for peoples IQ levels. Not looking good folks.
[+6] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: bears rolling around in their own piss & shit muttering “the strait, THE strait !!!”
[+6] u/xeuropa: DO NOT OPEN THE CAPSULE check for Xenomorphs first!
[+6] u/hugofuegoeggo: He tweeted about PLTR and it did nothing. He’s loosing his touch
[+6] u/PvsNP_ZA: Mormon ass philosophy
[+5] u/JPowTheDayTrader: NBIS is hiring senior engineers. Calls.
[+5] u/TickTockTaudit: Petition to send Scott Van Pelt to outer space
[+5] u/winfortheboys: Iran would be a top 5 economy in the world if they didnt have sanctions for the last 40 years. Prove me Wrong
[+5] u/Paul_Robert_: Crew module just separated from Integrity. It did it's job well 🫡
[+5] u/moosewithamuffin: Calls on Friday beers
[+5] u/winston511: I think a delegation of the buls and the bers must also meet to come to a peace agreement. The meeting will be mediated by our retarded mods. If requested I will lead the delegation of buls.
[+5] u/justintyme365: Artemis is going to land in the straight like we do what we want bitches
[+5] u/TickTockTaudit: Gonna look at bobs on my phone and splank the Pringle
[+5] u/TheRealJohnOptions: 🇺🇸🦅USA 🇺🇸🦅USA 🇺🇸🦅USA
[+5] u/unhappyreach_: Sending people to fly around the moon is kinda gey
Land on that bitch or just send a satellite
[+5] u/DailyAbUser: If NASA made it to the moon and back, it must mean it's the markets turn now. 🚀🌚
[+5] u/pooterssssssssss: How did you guys do this week? Today was freaking AMAZING. They pumped space stocks like crazy. I ended the week down about 1% due to today.
[+5] u/Blue_Moon_City: With all these loss I m taking, I might be the most humble person I know
[+5] u/RuthlessWolf: Sooo it’s been a huge relief now thats everything’s over and just headlines markets are relaxed as never before.
[+5] u/horseisahorse: Was that arsonist unaware that OpenAI is the loser that just burns money or were they just tired of the slop
[+5] u/sdubftw: I’ve got my SPAM, my Steel Reserve, and my wonder bread. I’m a bear and this is my weekend.
[+5] u/no_simpsons: Have a good weekend, see you Monday
[+5] u/NiceJobSon: Don’t skimp on my fries
[+15] u/Pete26l96: how is tom lee always right...
[+14] u/asetniop: So apparently Iran is saying they can't track down all the mines they laid in the strait. Looking forward to crude futures dropping another $5 on the news somehow.
[+14] u/SaveTheAles: Artemis II crew landed safely. When told they would be going to the White House to have McDonald's they asked to be left floating in the ocean.
[+14] u/mousepop321: Sure taking them a long time to get those actors in the capsule so they can pretend to come out in a few min
[+12] u/strip_club_dj: Funny how even with Trump's palantir tweet they're in the red for the day.
[+11] u/Normal_Tap3021: up $20 YTD. Time to party boys
[+10] u/InIce1234: They should have landed in the Strait of Hormuz.
[+10] u/SocraticGoats: Imagine Houston leaves you on read
[+10] u/FartHowler: This dude from nasa has to have a bet with someone that he can say erection at least 50 times.
[+9] u/Drchubbypanda: Both the astronauts and PLTR came down to earfth
[+9] u/Grunblau: Glad they saved the $5 by filming this on a 2005 Motorola Razr camera phone.
[+9] u/Competitive_Ride: Do you think they get to be in the astronaut group chat with Katy Perry
[+9] u/Noble_Bastard: Fucking hate weekends now, which makes me hate the market, which makes me hate everyone in here.
[+9] u/Bustincherry: I went all cash so that means we are getting world peace this weekend
[+8] u/stringtheory28: Sad that humans flying to space and splashing back down safely into earth’s oceans isn’t more meaningful to people right now. Sucks that there’s a collective “i’m tired, boss.” I guess that’s what “flood-the-zone” is all about. Bannon’s brain child for Trump. To break our brains and have us tap out.
[+8] u/orsomeshitidk: You people who stand up as soon as you possibly can when the plane lands, y’all need to chill the fuck out it ain’t getting you off any quicker. *Fuck man,* one time I got to fly on a rich friend’s charter jet to Aspen for a ski trip and it ruined me on this plebeian shit. the rich are living such a better life you couldn’t believe it.
[+8] u/Drchubbypanda: I have become what I despised the most, a 2 digit karma account
[+8] u/FullCopy: Larry Ellison recently figured out how switch his TV from HDMI 1 to 2 without calling IT. That’s when he thought he was ready for AI. He then had to let go of 30,000 mfrs to hide the fact his boomer brain is too calcified for disruption.
[+8] u/drytexterfinalboss: Iran is now saying they forgot where they laid the mines in Hormuz. Can't make this shit up.
[+8] u/housemouse431: im on call right now and this sucks, all i wanna do is sleep. fucking man fuck
[+8] u/Hellmale: Recovery taking too long.. I need to focus on the slots
[+8] u/ResolutionAny8159: Just got done work I’ll tell you Claude is legit
[+8] u/mousepop321: I would imagine both of them are pretty loose by now
[+7] u/LeagueofData: It's going to crash on 4/20 so when we all get layed off we can smoke a blunt together.
[+7] u/Training_Week3740: Pray for the bears 🐻 🙏 😔
[+7] u/orsomeshitidk: Taking a options tolerance break because it’s starting to feel a little too draftkings lmao when the Pres is pumping tickers the outlaw shit is getting out of hand
[+7] u/Retaining-Wall: Fuckin hardcore man yeeting people around the moon cuz fuck limits.
[+7] u/Pete26l96: Just used claude to fill out my corporate tax return. I'm an accountant and double checked everything, everything was correct except for one amortization schedule which used a non-optimal asset class.
Truly amazing what it can do, kind of fearing for my job now.
[+7] u/Walking72: Decimate is to reduce by 10%
[+7] u/Harp-Note: I want to get into mineral hunting, but the only major minerals in my area are mercury and asbestos rocks 😭
[+7] u/type_error: Have you tried booze?
[+7] u/GideonWainright: Putting payloads in orbit
[+6] u/FullCopy: Breaking: Iran is using *Find My* on its iPhone to find the mines. So far, it only found one left AirPod, Gen I.
[+6] u/RockasaurusRex: I don't know why they wanted to come back to the Earth but well done at least.
[+6] u/Professional_Con_007: PLTR will find the lost mines
[+6] u/veryveryuniquename5: bers thought ww3 was berish LMAO 🤌
[+6] u/Retaining-Wall: Bobbing around on the water in gravity must be gnarly on the stomach after 10 days of weightlessness.
[+5] u/McClintockC: Bers can't do a kickflip
[+5] u/TopTrey9: Peace talk tomorrow night fail and the market opens -5% down Sunday night..it’s possible
[+5] u/Competitive_Ride: Currently have 5 Claude code sessions running working on 3 projects. A whole house probably lost its water supply for my slop
[+5] u/Retaining-Wall: Imagine baking bread in an oven and then cutting it into smaller bread and baking it again in a tiny oven bahaha 🤌🤌
[+5] u/nyse25: we should all go to coachella
[+5] u/Fatt-Elvis: I appreciate you all FYI have a nice weekend
[+5] u/Metal-Water: Feels good when you close green on Fridays. Your weekend isn’t as depressing
[+5] u/tika_dengu: At Wendy’s to pick up a customer order. Too many hungry bears hanging around the dumpster, must’ve been a bad week.
[+5] u/type_error: So the Iranians are pumping crypto by using it as a toll money 😆
Pumping 🌽 was probably part of the 🥭 plan
[+5] u/No-Put2311: You are telling me the Ber thesis hinges on whether or not the Iranians remembered to attach AirTags to their mines they’ve been dropping?
[+5] u/John__Chena: Farted a good fart before getting off the elevator and some hopped right on after me….🤭
[+5] u/Retaining-Wall: Google maps timeline this month gonna be lit. "You travelled 750,000 mi this month."
"Help other users and review the moon."
"You're in the top 1% of astronauts."
[+5] u/_rockthemike: Stop buying puts maybe
[+5] u/BrilliantClarity: Last time 🥭posted ‘buy’ I didn’t buy. Many here were calling it a bear signal (like PLTR today). Then I was pulling my hair out. So, I picked up some PLTR today. Just in case…
[+5] u/PunchingAgreenbush: whooper and chicken fries, if they dont got chicken fries the onion rings with zesty sauce
[+5] u/Haikoe: Why is this news to you
[+5] u/Hellmale: Heading to the local Casino. Hope to win Big. Dragon Link slots are really addictive 😂
[+5] u/Bravadette: No prediction market for who leaves Orion first? Boring
[+5] u/Got_Item: Took a proper walloping in the old coffers this fortnite, lads. Will gaze into the heavens in search of Ursa Major this upcoming Lord's Eve and after a hearty provision of ice soup I will return to the battle with a TALLY HO to shake the cupboards of the gods themselves. May fortune favor you in the zoos to come, brethren.
[+5] u/drytexterfinalboss: The only dopamine I get is during weekdays when my calls go from -95% to -90%. Weekends are devoid of any reason to live
[+5] u/drytexterfinalboss: Everyday is a red day if you are a software baggie ( me). Brootal.
[+5] u/Technical-Activity95: only guys with six inches or larger know
[+19] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: Strait won’t reopen without at least one of
- US ground invasion
- massive concessions that position Iran as a global strategic power
That’s how badly we’ve fucked this up
[+17] u/avdvetf: BREAKING: As a sign of goodwill during negotiations, the Irans have delivered a 12 foot couch with the finest supple Italian leather to JD Vance.
[+14] u/Ready_Scratch_1902: imagine that capsule landing in the straight hormuz
[+11] u/undocumented_twerker: 🥭 going to treat these astronauts to cold McDonald's at the white house. They're going to be wishing they were back in space with freeze dried food and a broken toilet
[+9] u/Comprehensive_Tea388: Puts on RDDT for banning me for 3 days for saying [redacted] would bomb Leb4n0n during the "ceasefire" which, by the way, is exactly what happened.
[+9] u/Total_Schedule591: 9 out of 10 girls don't have a penis
[+8] u/Open_Waltz6902: Is Coachella overrated or am I just uncultured swine ?
[+7] u/ApathysLastKiss_: A champagne super-nover in the sky
[+7] u/undocumented_twerker: Glad I'm older and won't get drafted. I'll be playing 0dtes for you kids going to Iran.
[+7] u/avdvetf: think they gave JD a hotel room with a good heritage couch?
[+7] u/nvidia69420: Israel raid in southern Lebanon rn, it’s over
[+7] u/suddenly-scrooge: do you think those 4 astronauts, you know...
[+7] u/rhdkcnrj: Does anyone actually think these talks will go smoothly and the strait will be A-OK? We killed their fuckin’ Ayatollah, bombed them to hell, Israel is still going, and we all just found out that the strait is their leverage and they have complete control. Noted diplomat JD Vance handling the very delicate talks.
USO to 145 next week.
[+7] u/tristis_veritas: 3.3% inflation. And that's the cooked number.
5+ years of this shit, no commitment to get it down. I'm tired boss.
No one has a fucking spine to stand up and do the right thing.
[+7] u/idontknow1967: What’s with all the Claude bots tonight?
[+7] u/DENIMSHORTS_840SCORE: Just used claude to finalize my wife, my kinda worried job now
[+6] u/avdvetf: imagine the smell inside that capsule
[+6] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/Awake_Beast616 made a bet that SPY would go to 640.0 within **3 days** when it was 656.761 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 0 wins and 1 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+6] u/No-Sympathy-686: Im making way too much money.
I'm starting to get worried....
[+6] u/syedhuda: buls getting real comfortable poking they dicks in holes they cant see through
[+6] u/dataCollector42069: Some regard just bought $10k worth of August QQQ $340 puts lmfao
[+6] u/Hairy-Literature8672: Had a dream. 🥭, JD, and Peter H walk into a bar. It blows up. Some schizophrenic PolSci/Chem double major from Colorado takes credit. Market moons. The end.
[+6] u/I_am_Nerman: Ask Claude if it's ok to have black pride. Then ask if it's ok to have white pride.
[+5] u/Bofa12313: Why don’t u land a dick up that fat purple ass🤌
[+5] u/Sweaty-Survey-9804: What does Anthropic open up per share? 3000?
[+5] u/avdvetf: it's clear melania was thinking she was going to get wacked like ivana
[+5] u/zlordbeats: i asked claude where the fat butt white girls at tonight in this town and she said “im not gonna help you find people based on body types and shapes”
da fuck
[+5] u/AggieDem: Everything may be fucked, but at least we can make bathtub gin again.
[+5] u/Initial_Ad_9250: Mythos too dangerous for public consumption because there's no end to human desires. They will never release it. Y'all will find faults in it
[+5] u/kemar7856: All the software stocks are crashing 🤌
[+5] u/masegesege_: I got puts so recession is averted. You’re welcome everyone.
[+5] u/IDrinkSulfuricAcid: TSM will announce they cured cancer and ended world hunger. The stock will dump.
[+5] u/Micheal_Hancho: Could Msft be the gheyest stock of all time??
[+5] u/Dategmiot: Could be the last time for a while to pick up some corn before it starts testing 50 again, for the buy high, sell low crowd. 🌽
[+5] u/BarbellPadawan: +0.01%. Lolz Bears. Dummies!
[+5] u/Aware_Secret_8910: I can't believe futures closed green LMAO
[+5] u/OptionsHuduga: No one here can afford that
[+5] u/Big_Kick_233: Puts on Nvidia for sure
[+5] u/Fineous40: Hehe they said erection
[+5] u/Loose_Stool_12: Yes, but have at it.
[+5] u/DrummerCompetitive20: Major headline about to drop
[+5] u/ehwhynot-: No chance 🐝🐝 lets this end
[+5] u/TotalInstruction: You think oil is going to drop after the ceasefire turned out to be horseshit and Iran had been bombing a pipeline through Saudi Arabia that has been providing an alternate route for oil sales?
[+5] u/NeedToMakeMoneyz: So negotiations won’t begin until 1. Lebanon ceasefire. 2. irans blocked assets are released (USA gives them billions)
[+5] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: I know just what you’re saying
[+16] u/ItsHighNoonBang: "I have been told by an important, credible source that the deal is almost done, the preliminary work has been done by the forward teams that arrived before JD Vance’s arrival and the Iranian team’s arrival, and there is an expectation that perhaps a deal may be signed between the United States and the Iranians." - Aljazeera.
NOOO, MY PUTS
[+15] u/cbusoh66: White House: Staff trading and gambling activities strictly prohibited
🥭: Buy PLTR dip
[+11] u/fartpooppee420: all I want is a big booty latina to rip a monster fart on my nutsack, is that too much to ask, universe?
[+11] u/SeymourGlassy: Why the hell did I full port in SQQQ yesterday . 500k worth down 10k. 🍊man will declare a great success this weekend.
[+9] u/ArturoAutistic: Another sweet, sweet night of good dreams knowing that I’m leveraged to the tits on GOOGL and I’ll have enough to fully pay my home and be a total recluse in a few months
[+9] u/Traditional-One-259: so trulps war objective is to open hormuz… which was open before the war. i love how everyone just stopped talking about the “potential” nukes.
[+8] u/SilverPrivateer: What’s with all the Claude bots tonight?
[+8] u/SignificanceLate7002: So 🥭 is planning on offering mass pardons to everyone who works at the Whitehouse?
Nothing strange about that.
Nope......
Nothing strange at all.
[+8] u/MakeOSUGreatAgain63: So none of you tards are interested in the congressman that just disclosed $500k-$1m position in short term calls on MSFT??
[+8] u/literallyaPCgamer: But for real why TF is JD Vance in Hungary stumping for Orban.
Like ???
[+8] u/Traditional-One-259: who the fuck even lives in the UK miserable little island
[+8] u/readyreadyreadyready: The market’s gonna crash within two weeks
[+8] u/Visible_Sentence_399: If my calls moon I’m so getting a Tesla that’s covered in hot anime girls
[+8] u/Castopliani: shit at this point I would take Nixon
[+7] u/Kael1228: Just used Claude to find the location of my wife’s clitoris. I’m her husband and I double checked and everything was correct.
Truly amazing what it can do, kind of fearing for my job now.
[+7] u/Awkward-Walk-1500: Just used Claude and my dick fell off
[+7] u/Rock_or_Rol: Crazy that burry can move a stock more than the president 😂
[+7] u/Toothlesskinch: Quietly believe that we've been visited by a race of super-intelligent beings who crossed millions of light years to make contact after detecting signs of intelligent life on our planet. And then they got here and were all like " Godfuckingdammit! What is this shit?!" and then turned their spaceship around and went home.
[+7] u/Bill_Clintons_Desk5: Currently in Iwantitbad, talks are going well. We pump to the tits Monday
[+7] u/DeezSpicyNuts: I can’t believe it’s already been 2 years since “Not Like Us” dropped, Drake been laying real low since that shit lol
[+6] u/jerm2z: Just used Claude to complete my Wendy’s drive-thru order audit report. I’m a senior fry placement specialist and double-checked everything—spot on except for one critical error where it categorized the fries as a “side item” instead of “just put the fries in the bag bro.”
Truly amazing what it can do… kind of fearing for my job now.
[+6] u/Useful_Donut6789: Just used Claude to buy high sell low
[+6] u/Advanced_Divide_4641: They’ll say a deal is made without the being able to produce the deal.
[+6] u/DuAbUiSai: Msoft calls before earnings what yall think 🤔
[+6] u/Jebusfreek666: Anyone else getting tired of hearing Pakistan glaze themselves for literally doing nothing?
[+6] u/Brawmethius: The more affordable model has been on the way longer than George RR Martin's final book.
[+5] u/goofy-boots: bro we are so close to robot slaves
[+5] u/Castopliani: This US presidency was brought to you by Palantir
[+5] u/OftenOlives: MSFT is fucking me to death
[+5] u/Czyzzle: Why did I buy $6k of USO Calls at close? Seemed like a good idea at the time. Now I just feel stoopid.
[+5] u/Jacobpapi: I mean if they are doing some inside trading at least give us a peak so we dont get angry right?
[+5] u/DJisDopeAF: Should have taken 🥭INTC post more seriously. Why am I like this?
[+5] u/TheOnlySafeCult: all this to distract us from the fact that JPow's term ends next month
[+5] u/riteofpass: POET my biggest gainer today surprisingly
[+5] u/Kind_Initiative_7567: Rolled the dice and bought 620 calls for Monday on the q's
[+5] u/EnginrA: I had a Big Arch every day this week
[+5] u/rwc5078: Just as I expected
SPY down
PLTR up
[+5] u/btoned: Thank God fidelity gives me warnings about crypto and penny stocks. Those high volatility plays are ridiculous compared to the index SPYs conservative daily movement.
[+5] u/extrabigbrain: I guess one pro of joining military is you get to do cool shit - the con being you could die.
[+5] u/Powerful-Ad4836: That sub should just be renamed to tech bro circle jerk
[+5] u/Jacobpapi: 🚨🚨BREAKING: good night guys
[+5] u/Special-Shirt-9728: SNDK WDC pumping up next week 💪🏼. Bernstein expects SNDK to rise to $3000 in 2027
[+5] u/PooPooPointBoiz: Man, you remember like a year or a year and a half ago when news came out that buy-now-pay-later could be used for Chipotle burritos and shit?
And everyone said that was a recession indicator? What happened man? I lost so much money back then going deep into SPY puts.
[+5] u/Fabulous_Guide_4330: And I say, hey-ey-ey-ey-ey / I said, Hey, what's going on? 🎶 🎶
[+5] u/TheScourgeOfHumanity: Imagine they're doing team building exercises prior to talks
[+5] u/DeezCodeNutz: This really terrific beautiful ceasefire is going fantastically good
[+5] u/SaltyRiceCake90: apparently a nasa door is a little harder to get open than a blue origin one
[+13] u/aa73gc: Everyone hates their boss
[+11] u/RoyalFail6: America really got turned into a reality tv show when 🥭 came back - Liberation Day, Iran war, Epstein, Truth social crash outs. You miss a day and you’ll lose key plot points 🤣
[+11] u/hermeskino715: 🥭: We close to reaching a deal
10mins later
🇮🇱 airstrikes on southern 🇱🇧
Bibi: Whoops 🤭
[+10] u/Low_Plastic363: Prediction: Iran calls off the talks just so JD Vance wasted the trip. They know mango wants out of this and doesn't give a shit about Vance.
[+8] u/Ok-Reach-2580: I think after Tuesday everyone just now believes he will just 🌮 in every situation.
[+8] u/Optimal-Midnight4295: This country is so cooked
[+8] u/thefrozen_one: Idk man, I always thought Persian women were kinda hot
[+6] u/lipmanz: All talking heads rn “the ceasefire won’t hold, the war will drag on, Asia will run out of oil and supply chain disruption will be worse than covid!!……or not”
[+6] u/absolutxtr: 🥭 saying great to all the crude about to be exported from the US. His base too dumb to know that means that gas is only gonna get more expensive for them because of this.
This is expected behavior - US (any/all) oil companies wanna sell as much as possible as quickly as possible at current inflated prices to whomever is willing to buy. That means less stock if an actual shortage hits.
[+6] u/Schmidtys: when you hit the jackpot…
OPEN THE CASINO 🤑🤑🤑
[+6] u/dickwheelies: Damn bro im all in puts over the weekend
[+5] u/No_Image_1122: Where the fuck is msft spending their capex ? They don't have their own AI models, copilot sucks ( they got open ai , claude and all noone of them is their innovations). Ok azure i understand but doesn't justify 100b in a year spending. So where is money going ?
[+5] u/LazyActive8: Being homeless is better than working in a corporate environment
[+5] u/princess_dai_13: guys wen does life get easier
[+5] u/kairepaire: Whenever you decide to have an easier life
[+5] u/ZombieDracula: When you stop giving a fuck and learn to ride the wave
[+5] u/Snoo23417: ICE has been alerted that a Canadian alien is inbound for US waters.
[+5] u/AdCritical5383: Ya’ll know how them talks goin in the islamabama?
[+5] u/Phandomtrigger: Really wish I didn't have to see close ups of Mango's face it looks like a ballsack :(
[+5] u/slimeystevebob: Melania should chair the negotiations.
[+5] u/crossdefaults: Welp, you guys are losers, but you're my losers.
[+5] u/FartPolluter: I approach poo with a calm, rational, and stoical attitude.
[+5] u/NegotiationWorking48: I just wanna stop being depressed but it seems impossible
[+5] u/i_simp_f: I am blocked by /u/f0xinaround and I think he genuinely somehow doesn't know this
[+5] u/mysuruhuduga: Sold my Nvda 6/18 200c, only made $515
Ffs
[+5] u/spwath: Hmm holding puts but making tacos tonight, am I fucking myself?
[+5] u/LasyKuuga: So is the WSB meetup just gonna be the mods using us to organise a squid game
[+5] u/SuffiecientSapian: Im free from my ban!!!!
[+5] u/Huat-Ah-Huat: Oil unlikely will drop $80 anytime soon.. until the gulf states fix their damaged infrastructure.
[+5] u/slytythesneakyguy: How’d that get there.. (referring to the dollop of peanut butter on my butthole)
[+10] u/DiarrheaFartLover: Sabrina Carptenter is a 4/10 without hair and makeup and her music is generic dogshit for Target commercials
[+10] u/yeahyoubored: If ur gay🧸upvote this
[+9] u/Oneok-Field: What makes bears gey is the fact they think the market is rigged to go up, yet continue to bet that it'll go down despite the fact.
It's like they're hitting themselves.
[+8] u/2020isgreat: Maybe the strait was never important
[+8] u/protectthezen: If you bought PLTR after the mangotollah’s tweet hope you can look at yourself okay
[+7] u/LarsTarkas: Dont feel comfortable with puts for the next few weeks. So long as some progress is made with the peace deal the market will keep on pumping, and 🥭 has resorted to shouting out tickers.
[+7] u/kal14144: Why is $JD pamping? Did he see a sexy couch?
[+6] u/ZaraBloom418: Preemptive scan for stomach pain : $1900
ER visit for stomach pain / w scan : $300
[+6] u/wallstreetsimps: imagine if you went all in on SNDK a year ago. wouldnt have to be lurking here all day n night in spite
[+6] u/TarrifJacksonJr: Just put the pita in the Hormuz bro
[+6] u/PositiveEdge4361: The mines are here I found them
[+6] u/RobotPimpLibertyBell: Swalwell getting that 21 year old snatch. Cosby would be proud.
[+6] u/Apprehensive-Emu6431: it never does for us peasants. we just get taxed to death
[+5] u/ddrsdght: Open photos and check the hidden section on your wife’s iPhone
[+5] u/Dear_Respond4522: I miss the sugar water butterfly guy
[+5] u/CasherburyTales: Every Joe Rogan podcast: “The world has changed from when I was young and now it’s all bad and it has to go back to how it was.”
[+5] u/-medicalthrowaway-: Everything is so fuckin corny man
[+5] u/user365735: Wut if the astronauts demanded a raise or refused to return the ship and held it hostage?
[+5] u/Just_Celebration9890: The year is 2050, spy is at 300
[+5] u/stuff_happens_again: Just asked Claude if it could fix my cable. He replied 'I am expert!' I was distracted because my friend Sherry came over to use the shower and was walking around the apartment wearing nothing but a towel.
[+5] u/ChewbaccaIsBear: Why not? Have something going on today? 😉
[+21] u/CheekyPooh: Don't worry guys, our best and brightest out there representing us in Pakistan.
[+18] u/humunculus43: Cant wait to see expert negotiator JD Vance in action
[+12] u/FatFluffyFish: OPEN THE FKING CASINO you crazy bastards
Praise be to Allah!
[+10] u/Firm_Passage_6844: i dont understand how people can get addicted to casinos when you have options... u can lose your life savings from the comfort of ur own home!!!
[+10] u/whitepug: BREAKING: negotiators are MAKING OUT 😍 during the peace talks 🥵
[+8] u/daedalus_dance: Horrible week for bears but weird week for bulls. No real pullback after 5% 7 day pump is crazy.
[+8] u/Diamondhands4dagainz: Watch us gap up 3% on Monday due to „great negotiations, praise be to Allah“ DJT tweet this weekend
[+8] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: can’t believe regarded gambling addicts with crippling anxiety and depression gather to post here on a Friday evening
[+8] u/FG-Oracle: Open the Fuckin Casino, you crazy bastards
[+8] u/shmito17: JD ain’t finalizing shit. He’ll be the fall guy. Market will still pump lol
[+7] u/n1ck90z: JD is in Pakistan for talks with iran. People will say these were the best negotiations and SPY will reach ATH on monday
[+7] u/Smurf_Crime_Scene: Is it weird that I get all my news from you all?
[+7] u/PotentialShift9791: Be honest. You haven’t got a fucking clue, have you?
[+7] u/M4roon: ngl man I stopped reading after the second sentence. But that's cool, it was good.
[+7] u/Neel_Crashkari: My girlfriend says hi. She's in another state working. That's why you guys never see her
[+5] u/AfraidAnalyst: Who says “you’re not holding all the cards” first
[+5] u/trumpdiego: A) your calls are fucked.
B) nothing better than slutty french girls who smoke
If they smoke they poke.
I don’t make up the rules
[+5] u/oldsilver007: Does the shit hit the fan at 8pm or is it a quiet weekend?
[+5] u/Batbeez: Got cooked! Palantir PUT was cooking and cooked me at the end RIP
[+5] u/gentlesandwich: Airforce 1 should be yellow and Airforce 2 should be brown
[+5] u/ThatGuyCalledEric: Watching MSFT shitting in the past couple months is making my micro (pinis) soft :C
[+19] u/UNEXPECTED_PREQUEL: it's great we have a minimum age of 35 to become prez so we don't elect immature incompetent children
[+14] u/kim82352: > BREAKING Iranian source tells Reuters: US has agreed to release Iran's frozen assets in Qatar and other foreign banks
> UPDATE US official denies CBS report that US agreed to unfreeze Iranian assets
talks going well
[+12] u/PablosCocaineHippo: Talks or no talks; watch Donnie pull out as fast as he can when he realizes Iran is over 2600 years old and not 12 years old
[+12] u/The_Juice_Gourd: JD with the extra thick mascara, peace negotiations are going well
[+12] u/ElkQuiet1541: These "negotiations" just make Iran the Middle East superpower and full in control of the strait of Hormuz.. billions spent, and the USA looks weak
[+12] u/BFox1982: I hate to say it, but it kind of seems like this administration has no idea what they're doing.
[+12] u/CD274: China preparing weapons shipment to Iran - reuters
[+11] u/Diamond-Solo: Here's hoping to failed peace talks and WW3 because anything less and i think my puts are definaitely worthless.
[+10] u/__nameless____: Been wondering, the fuck is kushner and witkoff are doing over there? What even their qualifications are?
[+7] u/ThatOneRedditBro: Remember the Obama 2nd administration and trump first administration when it was just a continuous bull market with meme pumps and ipos.
[+7] u/TyroneSwoopes: Anthropic had to meet with all the banks not cause their new model is some crazy big advancement, but because it has a small bug where it randomly encourages and explains how to rob banks like in the movies when prompted.
[+7] u/OrangMiskin: The US is so cringe lmao
[+7] u/CD274: Lollll, not only did Iran lose the coordinates of the mines but they say water currents moved them and also they don't have the technology to remove them
[+7] u/__nameless____: Are they talking right away or partying and getting to know each other first?
[+7] u/sanndman: everyones ready but vance is getting acquainted with exotic sitting furniture first. even named one of them usha2.
[+7] u/person5675: I ran away from my first love after getting her prego
[+6] u/elpresidentedeljunta: It was likely a negotiation tactic by the iranians. They pretended to not trust Kushner and Witkoff anymore and demanded that someone with "authority" would come. Since Iran is only sending it´s foreign minister, now they have some leverage indicating the talks are more important to the US than Iran. He has to be satisfied with someone in lower rank.
It´s a game just like when Putin brought a big dog to meet the german chancellor of whom he knew she feared dogs. They think they can gain an advantage this way. I mean the Don likes those tricks himself if I hear correctly. He wrote a book or something.
In the end what can convince the iranians is the certainty that the next phase of the war would shift from eliminating their ability to fight the war to eliminating their ability to continue the war. Admittedly the iranians are on that level since they closed the Strait.
The strange thing is that all of this crap also plays out in boardrooms between men who are supposed to be cold hearted financial killers. Our money depends on these childgames, not only a couple of thousand of irrelevant lives somewhere else.
[+6] u/ActPowerful7001: Job market is so bad Wendy’s is not even hiring
[+5] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: It's all fun and games until your money gets inflated away and your country can't finance its debt and everything in society is held up by credit. Btw the government is printing 40 billion a month as we speak
[+5] u/Worried_Quarter469: Hopes of end of war = bullish
End of war = bearish
I don’t make the rules
[+5] u/redshift83: Vance wearing a turban going to be the photo of the year
[+16] u/Fhyzikz: "You guys can have whatever you want but please say we fucked you real good in this deal and we are so cool and strong. For appearances"
[+13] u/Specialist_Fig9458: If there’s one guy I trust to get us out of this mess it’s master negotiator JD Vance LMAO
[+12] u/Salty-Bid1597: US gonna bend over and give Iran whatever they want to get out of this war, but they gotta hide it from the US public and from Bibi somehow.
[+11] u/Bagholder147: My son sold his PSA graded pokemon card for $500 this week. I made $150 trading. He's winning.
[+10] u/SophisticatedLogic: Astronuts went to the moon cuz they had to change the batteries. Moon is noticeably brighter now.
[+9] u/dinglebarryb0nds: Oh good our future with Iran and the world will be saved by jd Vance. Total confidence
[+9] u/aftherith: I hate it when I find myself in the same play as Burry. He has like a 600 losses and 1 win banbet record.
[+8] u/iwasshotbyatigeronce: I can't wait for the announcement of the beginning of the start of an outline for a framework of talks to negotiate the possible opening of the Strait.
[+8] u/Crazy_Donkies: Everyone knows couch fuckers make the best war negotiators.
[+7] u/solidsneeze: what exactly were they *doing* behind the moon? veeeerrrry suspicious
[+7] u/llasar17: Be sure and tell 'em Large Marge sent ya!
[+6] u/iwasshotbyatigeronce: Pakistan on peace?
How can anyone take a country that banned Vuvuzela's seriously?
[+6] u/Karl-Levin: As a human being I hope they reach an agreement and the US just leaves the region.
As a ber I am scared that my oil options get knocked out again.
[+6] u/EarlyPattern6315: JD exporting Makeup to Pakistan
[+5] u/SwiftMindDD: Ok first of all, for an IPO you let it pop and drop and you only buy in after it crosses back over it's opening price and you gotta put a stop loss on that reasonably below said open. Second of all, do not ignore this position. Either take your 30k and be happy you still have 5 digits in there OR sell covered calls outside of the money every week.
[+5] u/Ok_Wealth_3433: Feel free to send it over, wouldn’t want you to be too worried
[+5] u/Lytalm: If you're not vibe trading, what are you doing with your life?
[+5] u/Liquidtears: I wonder if any of the astronauts during the blackout mooned the moon?
[+5] u/OhBenjaminFranklin: For fast boats they sure are taking their sweet time...
[+5] u/hiphopanonomos: WoW Barren's chat but for stocks
[+5] u/CornMonkey-Original: go find the next victim. . .
[+5] u/FuckElonMuskkk: Do they know de way?
[+23] u/peterpeer9: PSA
losing weight requires often going to bed hungry. stop kidding yourself.
[+16] u/OkResponsibility2470: If Iran actually gets everything it wants, 🥭 will have officially agreed to a worse version of Obamas original deal that he pulled out of LMAO
[+12] u/X211499Reddit: Big winner from all this shit is EV vehicles, expect a big increase in demand in 2026
[+12] u/Intelligent-Claim193: SENIOR IRANIAN MILITARY OFFICIAL DENIES REPORT OF ANY US VESSEL CROSSING THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ - STATE TV this is hilarious
[+10] u/claytondpark: Vance (worked as venture capitalist before being a senator from 2023-2025), kushner and witkoff (both no prev political exp)...
These 3 are about to negotiate a peace deal which I'm sure they'll handle it like it's a business investment...
Vance already landing in Islamabad telling Iran to "not try to play us" when it's the US that's been playing them for years 😂
[+10] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Hang ~~Mike Pence~~ JD Vance.
Sorry, just practicing.
[+8] u/Mark_Underscore: Praise Allah for the Pakistani negotiation team. FIFA Peace Prize will soon be awarded to the Pakistanis.
[+8] u/tgff333: SENIOR IRANIAN MILITARY OFFICIAL DENIES REPORT OF ANY US VESSEL CROSSING THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ - STATE TV
🤣🤣🤣🤣
[+8] u/NewlyOld31: Pakistan fucks this up somehow and next thing you know. "We cannot live in a world where Pakistan has nuclear weapons" lol
[+8] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Someone said we're not in a bullish market, we are in a bullshit market. I find that funny, so im passing it along to you guys. Im bored af.
[+8] u/bhmantan: someone should confiscate his phone so he can't post anything dumb during this crucial moment, seriously
[+7] u/Important_Yoghurt722: Too many puts expiring next week. Dumb bers. ATH Monday
[+7] u/whitehypeman: This is all the boomers fault and they're the ones who were playing on very easy difficulty.
[+7] u/Curious-Visual4525: Everyone want peace now except Israel.
Iran refusing to use full force so this can drag on forever but we bols need this to end asap!
[+7] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: Support your local Indian tribe by going to the casino on the weekend
[+7] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: ONDS – Offering New Dilution Shares
[+7] u/Ahzmer: The question is - ar what point will oil price surge from current levels if the strait just keeps closed for X more weeks? Regardless if there is "good promising talks"
Aka, how much longer can market stay regarded than my oil position solvent?
[+7] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: I never even heard of it
[+6] u/habfranco: This will be a nothingburger. They will each talk with Pakistan, and go home. Just like they did so far on social media, just this time in person.
[+6] u/Practical-Health3455: One Pakistanani couch has been destroyed - Axios
[+6] u/eje0100: Him and his boys sold his calls and loaded up on Puts yesterday.
[+6] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: Bears forgot their safe word
[+6] u/Admirable_Heart_271: So 🥭 back to bashing allies for not helping with a problem he created. He is by far the most annoying person in the world
[+6] u/Competitive-Fruit-18: Can’t imagine why they wouldn’t trust the U.S.
[+6] u/aquaticsardonic: Just found a sick mirror on FB marketplace for free the guy just wants "a moment of my time" wish me luck
[+6] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: If we’ve got alllllllll this oil to sell why in the fuck is gas sky high?
🥭: we’ve got hella empty tankers coming to buy our oil
What he really means: those fuckers are coming back empty handed.
[+5] u/No-Intention-8907: So how long are they planning to drag these talks out before starting the ground invasion?
[+5] u/rubsdikonxpensivshit: Well couldn’t hold above $681 on SPY. If we can break it and hold for more than part of a day I’m hesitantly a 🐂. If instead we drop and hold below $678 I’m full on 🐻.
What craziness will this admin, Israel, and Iran bring over the weekend I wonder
[+5] u/ShitStainStoop: Homer Simpson is a lucky man
[+5] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: I remember back during the liberation day shit one of you guys said "Only fat moms call their kids Bubba. Bubba is a fat sound" and I quote that about once a week and think about it daily. Thank you WSB
[+17] u/HowLongCanIMakeACock: Hoeflation is real
2’s be thinking they’re 10’s 💀
[+14] u/Fresh_Internal_6085: 🥭 is literally trolling Iran right now on TS while Vance is holding talks trying to stop the destruction of a civilization.
Why won’t he just STFU and get out of our faces for a while 🤦♂️
[+14] u/isolated-cat: IRANIAN STATE TV SAYS WARNING ISSUED TO U.S. MILITARY SHIP THAT IT WILL BE ATTACKED WITHIN 30 MINUTES IF IT CROSSES STRAIT OF HORMUZ
"trade talks going well"
[+11] u/Ok_GAINZ: Vance was seen carrying his bug collection into the negotiations… Bullish.
[+11] u/borat_he_like_you: Can you believe we're building data centers across the country when what we really need is more affordable housing to be built.
[+10] u/mrsweettreats: Axios needs to start verifying their news reports before they turn out like the New York Post
[+9] u/Locke_____Lamora: The US and Iran negotiators were supposed to be in separate rooms with Pakistan mediating but now they're all in the same room. How cute.
[+8] u/ShittyUsernane1222: \>🥭 picks a fight with a Ayatollah
\>🥭 picks a fight with a pope
🥭 picks a fight with every religion which refuses to worship him (so every religion except those found in America or heavily influenced by America ).
[+8] u/ShittyUsernane1222: \> no mines in strait
\> gaslight everyone there are mines via gunboats and naval militias.
\> get favorable peace deal
Iran did some 4D chess right here.
[+7] u/killainvest: “Open the fukn strait” -while spooning my wife this morning
[+7] u/bigmeatbag: Unless I see live video of Pete on the bow of a US warship crossing the strait with a parrot on his shoulder I don't believe it.
[+7] u/pmotiveforce: Two weeks ago these fucking window lickers had the "we don't dun need no straat of horns, we got our own oil!" talking point.
Now it's "Empty tankers buying muh oil! Good thing, ackshually. This makes 50 oil people even filthier rich and as a patriot I don't mind high gas!"
[+6] u/killainvest: “If you walk through a locker room, you’re gonna see some dick” - JVD opening statement in negotiations
[+6] u/Particular-Cake-6430: Trying to get a haircut. $32, wtf. I can’t live in sleepy joes economy
[+6] u/bhaaaaaaa: I really HATE seeing a company lose 30% of its value in 6 months..
I mean, sure, they are anti consumer and harvest all of my data..
and they might intentionally introduce 0 day exploits for the INT community..
and like.. the previous owner may have liked children a little too much..
and I guess there's rumors that he funded both vaccine and gain of function on covid..
I mean.. it might take me a week to relearn my workflow every iteration...
and I might have to look up a youtube video in order to make a local account...
I may have to spend hours turning off 'features' to capture as much control over my net traffic and personal information as possible..
and like their entire business MODEL of a monopolistic software suite MIGHT be threated by this whole "AI" thing..
Eh now that I think about it fuck Microsoft. Delist from spy pls.
[+5] u/PositionOfFuckYou: If you want to live longer, just stay awake more
[+5] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: cant wait for 🅱️eekend 🅱️read
[+5] u/longGERN: God I love working 7am Saturday instead of freedom
[+5] u/sunnydays2121: latest news out of islamabad is that both parties agree that after intense talks monday will see BIG GREEN CANDLES
[+5] u/Pitiful-Golf7867: Rocket lab! Woopty doo
[+5] u/Hot-Pop-3250: How much did you have to take?
[+5] u/Suspicious_Gap1: Oh man, if the talks somehow succeed (not sure if they will), it will leave a lot of OIL/USO bag holders!
[+23] u/Upstairs_System_6257: Wow 🥭 is having serious mental breakdown on truth social today
[+22] u/PopularCut4124: Iran just asked Vance if they can fuck Erika Kirk and he said fo sho
[+20] u/Shot-Ground-9898: LMAO this lady from fox paused at first and then skipped praise be to Allah when reading out Mangos post holding her laughter in 😂😂
[+12] u/TrumpAllOverMe: FYI Pakistan gifted him a plush couch.
[+10] u/derprondo: Imagine not holding pewts over the weekend, like did you guys forget this is a gambling sub? Da fuck are you betting on, that SPY will go up 1.5% on some peace talks? Nah I’m betting on the 100 bagger that this shit falls apart and we’re below 600 by Friday.
[+10] u/Blackhole_sun81: I need this place to be BEARISH AF so I know we will have a green monday… enough with all this bullish talk!!
[+10] u/Street-Badger: If you don’t think 🥭 will go back to dumping, you deserve to have your 🌮 platter dumped on the floor. It will be when your idiot brother in law is longing on margin in Monday premarket .. so basically right about now.
[+9] u/Ordinary_Basis_1599: If you didn't load up on SPY calls for Monday you haven't paid attention all year. REGARDLESS of the reality of the war Trump will pump the market for Monday morning opening. After that I have no clue but I'm loaded up on 4/13 SPY calls 25c 682, 25c 684, and 50 SPY calls 685 strike.
F U for not paying attention to this matter! 🌮🌮🌮🌮🌮
🥭
[+9] u/GuyFieriFrostedTips: I will die happy knowing I never watched Marty Supreme…
[+9] u/Alwaysfavoriteasian: Remember when we dropped like 4% and bers said you ain't seen nothing yet! And then we gained all 4% back in like a day after about a month. I remember.
[+9] u/McKoijion: Have we unconditionally surrendered to Iran yet?
[+8] u/Options-Options: talks are "good" they made "progress" -> and it's gonna sell off
[+8] u/Ok_Persimmon9849: Oil is going up even if they agree to end the war yesterday. Damage to infrastructure (most recently Saudi pipeline) is going to take years to fix. This might still not be enough to crash it on its own, but the data center delays and private credit news that got ignored during the ceasefire pump definitely will if this doesn't. Might hold out for another week or two, but it's going to crash before summer.
[+8] u/stupidber: Of course its fucking France. RIP my $402 cost average
[+8] u/pussinbuuts: “There’s no way they make a deal they’re too far apart”
Ah yes I guess the leaders of both sides gonna fly all the way to the middle of nowhere to talk face to face in person just to tell each other they are sticking with their original demands
[+8] u/Illustrious_Job1951: Inflated to the tits with 70 year low in consumer sentiment
[+8] u/mrmagootoyou2: Why is no one talking about the once in a lifetime chimp civil war?
https://www.sciencefocus.com/news/a-massive-once-in-500-years-chimpanzee-civil-war-has-broken-out
Is this where the GME apes have migrated?
[+8] u/Kickboy21: I gained 10 lbs stress eating from holding MSFT
[+7] u/The_Alan_Greenspan: *I award you no points, and may god have mercy on your soul.*
- Mary J. Blige
[+7] u/spectra444: I can feel the Monday pump in my left testicle. Oh shit that's just a lump this is bearish
[+7] u/_Klagis: mericans must be really tired pf winning
[+6] u/Liquidsnake959: Went to the Garden of Olives last night with the wife, it was glorious!
[+6] u/Any_Bluebird1765: Which one of you regards has the inside scoop on the negotiations in Pakistan. Stop giving handies in the backroom and show yourself
[+6] u/zachuwf: Breaking: Straight of Hormuz to collect toll and only accepts payment via Microsoft shares 🤑
[+6] u/Barry1601: “A Country supplying Military Weapons to Iran will be immediately tariffed, on any and all goods sold to the United States of America, 50%, effective immediately. There will be no exclusions or exemptions! President DJT”
US intel suggests China preparing delivery of new air defense systems to Iran within next few weeks, CNN citing 3 people familiar with intel
50% tariff on China coming?
[+6] u/SubduedWeed: Just got raped by the tax man. gonna go smoke weed and think about life
[+5] u/Shot-Welcome-2822: JD - “Give it there pal!”
🥭 - Fuck yo couch JD!
[+5] u/4sKompany: If you spend this much time stomping your feet and and claiming you actually won…..did you really win?
[+5] u/SilberBackApe: There is no hope for us, we should be trading 24/7 :(
[+5] u/Dry-Judgment4242: Buy a plane ticket and join the side you bet on. Become the 🐵 insider.
[+5] u/QTpieme: HOW IS INTEL 62 with NEGATIVE PROFIT AND MARGINS AND SMCI IS 23 WITH BILLIONS INCCOME AND positive MARGINS
[+5] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: whole world s economy now relies on people who literally throw shit at themselves
[+5] u/Snowman33001: It is Saturday and I am BULLED UP
[+16] u/glutathionegod: JUST IN: Iranians gift JD Vance a wooden horse as a peace offering! How generous!
[+13] u/UnknownM007: These negotiations should’ve been done on Teams and you’re only allowed to speak when you put your hand up
[+12] u/TheDevilintheDark: BREAKING: Among those included in the US delegation sent to Pakistan is the mod team from r/sinkpissers
[+12] u/PhysInstrumentalist: SPY has become a total joke, probably smarter to trade USO at this point for income, even Bitcoins price action makes more sense than this.
[+11] u/UnknownM007: I bet the Iranians are thinking this could’ve been a Zoom meeting
[+11] u/potato111a: Extending talk by 1 day?? The couch is that good? Sheeeesh
[+10] u/Warm_Lecture_4461: Since everyone is so bullish here for Monday, SPY 650 by EOD
[+10] u/DaFlyingGriffin: WTI oil just dropped $3 on hyperliquid.
In the past 5 minutes.
[+9] u/bemeandnotyou: The White House warned staff against insider trading using confidential information on prediction markets and oil futures.... **LMAO**
[+9] u/LengthObjective2253: 🥭 will say “peace talks going well” and “War is over! Strait is open!”
[+9] u/Icommandyou: Why is Jared kushner involved in all of this
[+9] u/Moist_Chain_POL: looks bullish for Monday! 🚀
[+8] u/Commercial_Seat_3704: Can't wait for my MSFT leaps to hit 0
[+8] u/Senpai_Slime: They have all been lying, theres been zero ceasefire and the strait has been closed this entire time
[+8] u/OrdinaryMix4013: just ask yourelf WHY A USS DESTROYER would turn on their transponder.. shit is so eazy to spoof i can basically spoof it with my bike showing it as the USS Enterprise.
basically, taco admin is feeding dog shite to the media and algos to dump oil prices bc they cant do it legitimately.
[+7] u/RoninKnight17: predictions monday bloody red then taco tuesday red to magical green for the rest of the week
[+7] u/plznodownvotes: 🥭 trying to will the Hormuz Gay to re-open via Lies Social posts
[+7] u/killcon84: In the upcoming Greenland war, my guess is that🍊will TACO by giving away all of New England to Denmark LMAO🤌
[+7] u/amanj41: I’m a software engineer and realizing I’m so cooked by AI by end of this year that I might have to just full port 0DTEs hoping for a 50 bagger as my retirement play.
[+7] u/zuziannka: I got calls are they gonna print
[+7] u/FabulousLanguage6216: Monitoring the situation going well. Great progress made. Bigly. Yuuggee.
[+6] u/Scalpaholic: China calling 🥭 a little bluffing bitch boy with his 50% Tariff.
And he might have more legitimacy to do it than other tariffs if he follows through.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/exclusive-us-intelligence-indicates-china-040154811.html
[+6] u/Main_Ad3943: I might be stupid, but how does it make any sense that there are mines in the strait, that Iran does not know the location of anymore, but they are also allowing some traffic, like Chinese oil tankers, through ?? Just a dice roll on whether or not they're going to hit mines with mystery locations ??
[+6] u/LengthObjective2253: We’re getting planet of the apes before GTA 6
[+5] u/Regardium-Leviosa: Iran talks =/= direct talks
[+5] u/DaFlyingGriffin: Lebanese Prime Minister Nawaf Salam says he is postponing an imminent trip to the United States and the United Nations, citing the need to remain in Beirut.
“In light of ongoing internal circumstances… I have decided to postpone my trip to the United Nations and the United States… so I could oversee the government’s work here in Beirut,” Salam said in a post on X.
[+5] u/killcon84: The negotiations will fail and then orange will “taco”for the 50th time so algos eat it up
[+5] u/seandr0ne: I can't believe my portfolio depends on JD COUCHFUCKER VANCE
[+5] u/Rosebunse: I hate how people are tearing the parents apart for that girl alledgely dying from drinking too much Alani. That stuff is terrible. I don't know how anyone drinks it regularly when it gives me bad heart palpitations just from one drink. And sure, there are warnings on the drinks, but there is also a huge social media campaign where addiction to the drink is normalized and even promoted.
Also, CELH is tanking.
[+5] u/Jemmani22: Why is Pakistan the mediator 🤣
[+34] u/bigfan49: I just got my first real promotion, salary went from 38k to 73k im so happy
[+20] u/TernTheNumbers: USA gonna spend billions on naval operations to avoid paying a few million in tolls to Iran.
[+17] u/swenau01: Bloomberg: “Two U.S. Navy destroyers were forced to turn back while attempting to transit the Strait of Hormuz after Iran’s Revolutionary Guard threatened them and launched a drone toward the ships, per Bloomberg citing a regional intelligence official.“
Hahahaha I feel like I’m taking crazy pills
[+16] u/karamkka: I wonder if JD Vance wore his power eyeliner or bossbitch eyeliner
[+14] u/ProudPeak3570: If the Earth is spinning why dont planes just wait for the destination to arrive to them
[+14] u/zephyrs85: Rogan: we got tricked by 🥭 - no shit Sherlock 😂
[+14] u/mtol115: Israeli officials believe talks between Iran and the US will completely collapse and renewed strikes will occur on Iranian energy infrastructure-KAAN
[+12] u/hayleybts: BREAKING: US-Iran negotiations in Pakistan have hit a “stalemate” over the control of the Strait of Hormuz, per FT.
[+12] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: > First phase of US-Iran direct talks ends in Pakistan, texts being exchanged
Are they tired of talking face-to-face? lol
[+12] u/UnitedCup1814: I wonder if people still believe 🥭 is still a master negotiator . How did he even get this reputation. In that shitty book he wrote all it wasis him having a rich daddy to kick him off and got tax breaks where he paid zero real estate tax for like 20 years on buildings he was rehabing in bankrupt ny city in the 70s. Same shit every other developer was doing accept he wrote a book about it
[+11] u/sal4you: I might be stupid.....although I believe a peace deal is more than priced in to the market.
Could be a sell the news event IF a peace deal is announced.
[+11] u/Mr60SPX: The thing about sending JD Vance for negotiations: if they are successful, Trump will take credit for the success and JD will give it to him. If they aren’t successful, he can blame JD and distance himself from the failure.
[+10] u/Loperenco: Fuck me, my USO calls are cooked :/
[+9] u/Evander85: Just realized I’ve been watching the 2025 masters the last 4 hours and honestly not bad
[+9] u/TrumpsCummyOnahole: Alright, we might actually dump 10% if the talks genuinely fail
[+9] u/dreamer_Neet: HE JUST SAID PRAISE BE TO ALLAH AGAIN!!
[+8] u/el-art-seam: AP News reporting: Talks between US and Iran officials resume after a break
Someone had to take a massive dump and probably took a bit too long scrolling Instagram while on the can, wonder which side it was.
[+8] u/sal4you: If 450,000 of us made $10 million this year after taxes, we'd be worth almost as much as Nvidia.
That's a good way to see how truly absurd a $4.5 trillion market cap really is.
[+8] u/RunsaberSR: https://preview.redd.it/1tl23dlpnlug1.jpeg?width=947&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=af9b8c76d0b2a4b376d5d2c274c1bea9841fc48a
[+8] u/Larkalis: Update on negotiations: According to Financial Times:
>Middle East war live: US-Iran talks at a ‘stalemate’ over Strait of Hormuz, negotiators say
[+8] u/gloomyglooom: I feel like a false flag is a brewin' with these warships down in the Strait...
[+7] u/Warren_Buffetts_Alt: Those fuckers didnt even mine the main channel. Hahahaha
[+7] u/puts_every_day: Don't they realize that the constant "talks going well" messages just make them look more desperate?
[+7] u/Warm_Implement3088: SO. They at first said there weren't any mines and encouraged ships to pass a week ago, now they need a ton of vessels to help clear the mines bwahahahah
[+7] u/Dajoechi: Iran said no more than 15 ships could pass through the straight of Hormuz, but last few days looks like 7-8 are getting through based on the online trackers I'm looking at. Oil market is fucked
[+7] u/outhinking: The US surrendered - shorting oil it is
[+7] u/Far-Requirement9180: I was extremely bearish and skeptical going into this weekend. You know how this works lol
[+6] u/Venice_LA: 2 negotiations in the same day?? Both sides desperately want a deal done this weekend
[+6] u/Upstairs_Deal3108: Nah cant make this up this shit too funny, a regard got 2k barrels of oil for pickip by mid april after forgetting to close the position by exp
[+6] u/Slabbed1738: Regime change? We're still waiting on a diaper change
[+6] u/UnitedCup1814: China sending ass loads of missiles to the Iranians. 🥭 Can't say shit we did the same thing with ukrain.
[+6] u/StankyDegen: Israel actively bombing lebanon. US navy checking for mines WITHOUT Iranian assistance/intel... This shit isnt over yet lol
[+5] u/Living-Giraffe4849: Well… 🇮🇱 said that they expect negotiations to collapse. Which probably means they are going to sabotage lmao
[+5] u/Syllabub_Visual: BREAKING NEWS: ozempic just got cheap enough to change the world…
[+5] u/ChampagneWastedPanda: Very interestingly, however, empty Oil carrying ships from many Nations are all heading to the United States of America to LOAD UP with Oil. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
Yesterday was PLTR- tomorrow it’s WTI futures - go 🥭
[+5] u/Throwaway18987987: JD wearing a red tie, you know what that means
[+5] u/gloomyglooom: I might have missed it, but why the fuck are we even in Iran in the first place?
[+5] u/donkeybray: Looking at the charts, I'm starting to think oil going up in price is actually beneficial to me..
[+33] u/AstronautPossible374: Bibi Netanyahu if you’re reading this my ex wife is currently developing nuclear weapons
[+20] u/Necessary-Lychee-486: This is going to be a historic sell the news event. Bull idiocy is eternal.
[+14] u/MasterElite1: >Iran slams US report threatening to eliminate negotiators if negotiations fail - Press TV
🤣
[+12] u/DefiantDelta: permabulltards are like “we LOVE the gay german reptile shedding his skin, especially when he throws rentboys off his balcony! his baby-nuking machine makes us so happy!!!! PLTR calls!!!!!!!”
[+12] u/ruskyandrei: >‘We still have more to do’ in Iran, says Netanyahu
>We can now bring you more comments from the Israeli prime minister, who has released a video address on X.
>Netanyahu promised that Israel’s military campaign against Iran “is not over” even though Israel has already made what he described as “historic achievements”.
>“We hit them, we still have more to do,” he said.
Lol, Bibi already preparing for season 3.
[+11] u/AutomaticAerie4672: I'm seeing a lot of dumb geopolitical takes in the comments. Let's step it up, people.
[+11] u/Money_Law7344: 700 ships just started going through according to the hormuzstraitmonitor. *(extra zeros added for emphasis)*
[+9] u/itsamemyusername: Breaking news: Iran gifted JD a new couch as a sign of their willingness to negotiate.
[+9] u/MaybeYesMayb: If I was Israel I wouldn’t let my one and only chance currently in making the US join my war with Iran and hezbollah pass me up so NO DEAL made and hostilities will continue
[+8] u/AP123123123: reverse wallstreetbets it is, we are going down brothers!
[+8] u/randomquartile1: Bol are fuk. Stalemate in talks. Circuit breakers on Monday.
[+8] u/MixFit5225: Way too bullish in here.
[+7] u/ithastogoupfromhere: is it time to go long on BTC again? 10 has crossed the 20 on daily chart a few days ago
[+7] u/FinePerformance1046: Remember: buy the rumour, buy the news, pamp the spy
[+7] u/giant_hog_simmons: Full port MSFT LEAPS. Moon ticket?
[+7] u/Big-Quote4483: I forgot it was the weekend. i was surprised why MSFT wasn't red today
[+6] u/Andthesuch: The fact that they have a giant stage with banners and a giant hashtag #islamabadtalks in front of it should show us that the whole world is a stage and this is all theater. Calls on living in a simulation. Puts on my retirement.
[+6] u/fatfrog7: You never short Tesla. This is elementary bro.
[+6] u/ThouOne: Imagine changing all of your stocks into defensive stocks thinking it’s over this time.
Nothing ever happens.
[+5] u/AllianceOrTheHorde: Dear lord, how are we nearly halfway through this year
[+5] u/WonUpH: So 🥭 let JD on voice mail in public when he travelled to Hungary, and the nextweek 🥭 sends JD negociate a ceasefire that he intends to respect? This is the current bull thesis?
[+5] u/theJimmybob: Some implied moves for earnings next week - 70 companies reporting:
$NFLX 6.9%
$JPM 4.2%%
$ASML 7.6%
$TSM 6.3%
$BAC 4.3%
$MS 4.9%
$BLK 4.8%
$AA 8.8%
$JBHT 6.9%
$SCHW 5.2%
$PEP 4.4%
$C 4.6%
$JNJ 3.8%
$RF 5.4%
$ALLY 6.5%
$GS 4.8%
$WFC 5.1%
$KMX 11.3%
$FAST 5.7%
$ACI 7.2%
$PGR 4.6%
$PNC 4.8%
$TRV 4.6%
[https://www.optionmillionaires.com/some-implied-moves-for-earnings-next-weekapr-13th-apr-17th-70-companies-reporting/](https://www.optionmillionaires.com/some-implied-moves-for-earnings-next-weekapr-13th-apr-17th-70-companies-reporting/)
[+5] u/Country_Gravy420: So SPX opens over 7000 on Monday, right?
[+5] u/ThouOne: Aint no way MSFT has been a titan since 20 years and will collapse once I bought