▶ Full Post Text
[+37] u/Bokehmon_: Just put the fries in my ass bro
[+31] u/OSRSkarma: Got the date right this time
[+23] u/Pangolin_farmer: TSLA starting to look like a good buy. Just needs to go down another $300 and I’m in.
[+22] u/MDReturns: https://preview.redd.it/rpjrtqd2f5ug1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a9bcf398bff8fb23f869bdceaf6eefbd4b5e2505
Waiting for MSFT to move…
[+22] u/Fkn1v1mem8: I tried to warn you guys but today is Thursday it basically happens after every Wednesday. When will you guys learn?
[+22] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Ive applied to 135 jobs since the end of February and gotten 6 interviews.
I dont even need a job. The US economy is so hot right now, the hottest country on the planet, with so much new investment, I just thought there HAD to be something better for me out there.
Im starting to think maybe theyre lying to us.
[+21] u/BFox1982: If you're feeling down, just remember that there are still retards posting in the nightly thread. Just old men, screaming at clouds.
[+21] u/Dioxbit: https://preview.redd.it/t2346p6ek5ug1.png?width=906&format=png&auto=webp&s=201e88c72dd70c8ab4b452c9bbb9dadda4f94ea2
[+20] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Today the market gonna pull the ol ⬆️⬆️⬇️⬇️⬅️➡️⬅️➡️ A B start/select
[+19] u/Comfortable-Sky7801: The could be a nuclear holocaust and some dumbass article would still be like “Shitpiss ($SP) fell amid supply constraints and datacentre demand”
[+19] u/SouthNice7324: My portfolio capitulated before Iran did. Sad times
[+16] u/Only-Cranberry-4502: So basically this Iran war accomplished nothing except give iran more power
[+16] u/Numerous_Two_102: Today is the day where they will give you enough hope to hold your puts to zero
[+15] u/Free-Championship828: Israel saved their biggest bombs for the first day of the ceasefire so everything is going as expected. Next up, a tanker carrying OIL is going to get a drone flown into it.
[+15] u/ferrx: New 5 point plan released!!!
1. SPY to 700
2. SPY to 800
3. SPY to 900
4. Cheeseburgers
5. SPY to 1000
[+13] u/AncientAd3846: SPY 668 at some random point of the day
[+12] u/Johndough99999: So is the oil market just not gonna care the straight is blocked again?
[+12] u/Bokehmon_: Calls on puts that's the only way
[+12] u/Sufficient-Aide6805: Pronouncing “Hormuz” with a lisp like “Ibiza.”
[+11] u/-Wisefool69-: Full port calls into cpi because inflation doesnt matter anymore🤓
[+11] u/GittingerFredl: [https://www.militarytimes.com/news/your-military/2026/04/08/automatic-registration-for-us-military-draft-eligible-men-to-begin-in-december/](https://www.militarytimes.com/news/your-military/2026/04/08/automatic-registration-for-us-military-draft-eligible-men-to-begin-in-december/)
If you don't have the papers to prove you're retarded yet, now's the time to get them.
Just export your trading history and bring it to any doctor.
[+11] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Oil still up 30%, SPY ---------------------
[+10] u/OSRSkarma: Apparently Reddit’s backend servers are in the middle east. Lets see how long it takes to fix this today…..
https://preview.redd.it/ztzgzkboe5ug1.jpeg?width=1574&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=81de8904e2091b0c5e44b07b9c6357c131d1a07d
[+10] u/Available_Way_355: If you entered Microsoft in 2021 you would have the same amount of money right now but with about 30% less purchasing power
But diamond hands I guess
[+10] u/tandoori_taco_cat: A month ago we had the biggest single-day loss on gold in history.
This week, the single biggest drop in oil in history.
Next, labubus.
[+10] u/BFox1982: Puts were the most obvious play of the year yesterday. Did I buy them? No. Am I the world's best trader? Also, no.
[+10] u/BerryExpress: Wouldn’t know what to do today even if I wasn’t regarded
[+10] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: My options port got wrecked this week. If spy don't go -1% today by close I'm fucked. (I'm fucked)
[+10] u/Technical_Scallion_2: I feel a big red day coming on. Premarket QQQ is just too quiet given all the shit going on
[+10] u/volckerwasright: Oil bol now whining about manipulation JUST like silver bol 😭😂😭 sorry buddy did u think u was trading Coke stock or smth lmao
[+9] u/mklomp7: Masters start today, Masters is green, green is BULLISH
[+9] u/cryptohorn: Hey Pakistan here is what we want you to tweet out
[+9] u/livingiice: Can't you see? The economy is flourishing!
[+9] u/jda823: So now we are back to begging NATO to use military force to open the strait that people said is already open today. 🤔
[+8] u/NefariousnessDry5100: Are these bots telling people to buy up oil so they can short again today ?
[+8] u/Paul_Robert_: Hey Market, today is my birthday, so can you give me a freebie, please 🥺
[+8] u/Equivalent_Fly_5559: Diesel contract in Europe expires today….
‘what you mean you want me to deliver?, you know I didn’t actually have the oil when I shorted it! Don’t worry I will just buy back the futures, where is it? What do you mean up 50pct?’ - several tourists hedge funds.
[+8] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: for what month is the CPI tomorrow? Oil spiked at the beginning of March so if it includes March it should be higher
[+8] u/Fun-Age-5749: Whenever i chech the prices all i see is microsft always blood red
[+8] u/Appropriate-Gap-7799: Everything is way worse than a month ago, but SPY is up. Surely we'll cross 700 soon while everything is collapsing 🤡
Also, MSFT lmao
[+8] u/Neel_Crashkari: Putting WSB Daily Thread down as my emergency contact
[+8] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/Economisty made a bet that USO would go to 150.0 within **1 week** when it was 135.935 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 0 wins and 1 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+8] u/Waveytony: Oh BOY…you guys do NOT wanna see me before I’ve had my morning coffee
[+7] u/ratfukabich: Maybe Pakistan should just focus on its single core competency (cultivating cab drivers)
[+7] u/Weak_Emu3659: # FIGHTING REPORTED SOMEWHERE IN MIDDLE EAST - CEASEFIRE WAS A LIE?!?!?!?!
[+7] u/diabeticpickachu: Can we get an app that only has wallstreetbets daily thread. Reddit content quality has dropped significantly in the past couple years.
[+7] u/InitiativeGlum2507: I think Palantir's going to keep taking it in the butt for a looooong time.
[+7] u/Weak_Emu3659: # WHY HASN'T THE MIDDLE EAST FIGHTING STOPPED YET I DON'T GET IT THERE WAS A CEASEFIRE - BEARISH!!!!
[+7] u/grubernack276: When is the fed data coming out
[+7] u/lewisearnst19: Bois I need to Yolo my paycheck to cover rent im already 8 days late what are we buying today
[+7] u/RansomeRandom: Feels like daylight savings because I just wasted 1 hour of sleep to find out the market is flat.
[+7] u/ContributionMore5502: Friday, peace treaty already failed, Israel being Israel, spy to 650s today.
[+7] u/SBEPTY: The move happened overnight and all y'all literally bought at the peak and now it is straight back to hell.
You regards are the exit liquidy
[+7] u/Waveytony: Thinking of starting a bot farm, does anyone have bot seeds or arable land I could borrow?
[+7] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: The only reason to build humanoid robots with artifical intelligence, is to replace actual humans with actual intelligence.
There is no other reason.
[+7] u/LunchNo7823: So the fuckery begins
[+6] u/SmokingOnions: If spy goes back to 666 I’ll go to conversion therapy to become a big strong bull for your wife or husband
[+6] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: The fact that crude is still $9 away from 100 shows that the market is still riding high on hopium and is completely disassociating from reality. Might wear off by the end of the day but I wouldn't expect any major drop today
Always bet on the dumbest market reaction
[+6] u/Amitriptylinekoning: A whole portfolio will die tonight.
[+6] u/Jazari1: i mean he didint lie.. insiders shorted oil and made lots of money
[+6] u/awetfartruinedmylife: Selling meta and tripling down on MSFT. Last attempt before going all in on ROPE
[+6] u/old-cow666: Guys , I need a internship with a real estate firm in LA or OC . Anyone have any help ?
[+6] u/Remarkable-Swan-6699: Coming to terms with that I may be a better poker player than day trader :(
[+6] u/puts_every_day: Bols were buying calls not realizing it was Thursday, not Tuesday. Hahah, no TACO today!
[+6] u/NefariousnessDry5100: Bots are literally telling everyone to buy oil is a terrible sign
[+6] u/silverfutes: Space… the final frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Bag of Fries…
[+6] u/good-times-: lol HELP on the board
[+6] u/NefariousnessDry5100: Can’t wait to give handjobs behind Wendy’s
[+6] u/Beneficial-Age-9293: There was a moment yesterday when my port was extra extra green and I could dance like a princess, but alas twas a fleeting glimmer and I'm back to being a bear troll.
[+6] u/Neel_Crashkari: Redbull gives me wanton aggression and anxiety. Wings, not so much
[+6] u/MuchAd3474: Reuters news agency reports that one oil products tanker and five separate dry bulk carriers have sailed through the Strait of Hormuz in the past 24 hours despite Iran and the US reaching a two-week ceasefire deal, according to analysis of data from ship trackers.
so it is technically open
[+6] u/Psychological_Fly109: Bessent had a windows update, can confirm he's now clocked in and will continue the oil manipulation
[+6] u/ConsiderationKey1658: I dont want to get up I’m so comfy but I gotta poo so bad ☹️
[+6] u/-user222: tel aviv stock exchange up 50% YTD and you’re wondering why they don’t want a ceasefire
[+6] u/_rockthemike: NVDA back in the 180’s, the world is healing
[+5] u/CosecSecCot: How do I banbet a flat market?
[+5] u/brute-forced: LET THE GAMES BEGIN IN AUGUSTA!!!!!
[+5] u/NefariousnessDry5100: The fact that back to back bots told everyone to buy oil last night is rather sus
[+5] u/Viktri1: Gold
Green in a sea of red
This could be the turning point where gold is a risk off haven
[+5] u/EscapeHistorical178: come on you think taco tits letting oil dump when his kid bought $30M in oil before the war?
[+5] u/zeren1ty: Oil going for 100 again 🫨
[+5] u/AIlZAl: Up 40% today through overnight and premarket being a 🌈🐻on spx puts, made back the money I lost from 🥭not ☢️. Big brain tells me to sit out tonight but im itching to full port more.
[+5] u/sauronII: Any mexicans here? I have a technical question.
How do you taco a taco once it‘s already tacoed?
[+5] u/drytexterfinalboss: A day without a missile fired is a day wasted in the middle east.
[+5] u/Ready-Tennis8577: Wake up! brushyourhairputonalittlemakeup
[+5] u/ReferenceFunny7142: The % of Lost to won Banbets is amazing
[+5] u/RansomeRandom: Best thing about crypto?
Casino is open 24/7 so I can lose my money faster.
[+5] u/Iamhappilyconfused: All this pre market movement pisses me off, I could be losing money right now, open the casino!!!
[+5] u/puts_every_day: So close to oil being again over the psychological $100. Push it a bit more!
[+5] u/puts_every_day: Very uncommon to have this little volume pre-market at this time. Did they shut off the bots? What is happening?
[+5] u/puts_every_day: Everyone said it was impossible to have Taco on Thursday. But I did it, I moved taco from Tuesday to Thursday - 🥭
[+5] u/extrabigbrain: I always wanted to LARP as a golf bro at the Masters.
[+5] u/Bill_Clintons_Desk5: I’ll take 10 3% pumps with 0.3% pullbacks and a large fry Ms. Wendy
[+5] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Can't wait for the government to tell us that no prices went up last year despite all evidence to the contrary in 50 minutes
[+5] u/Intelligent-Claim193: How much you wanna bet AMD will go immediately to green at market open
[+5] u/BooDawg908: Great. We get ONE Green Day and it’s back to the Red Sea
[+5] u/AmbassadorGloomy8915: My mom forgot to give her tax person the 1099 for the robbinhood account under her name that I trade 0DTE’s on with my money am I cooked? The IRS won’t care right??? Wish I was 18 already so I didn’t have to deal with this BS lowkey scared
[+5] u/phagebiscotti: Bought puts expiring April 24th yesterday at open. Don’t foresee the ceasefire or strait opening working out also expecting poor CPI reports tomorrow. Outside the war, things haven’t been looking great either
[+5] u/KeTaMiNEanDpEdoZ: Is the ceasefire in the room with us right now?
[+5] u/OSRSkarma: Its fixed! I totally did that (i didn’t do anything)
[+41] u/MrT_IDontFeelSoGood: Lost my dog from a heart tumor within 24 hours of symptoms showing, shit sucks
[+33] u/drpa1n: Really peak civilization where the algorithms decide the price of shares of the tech companies which created them based on the unhinged rantings of an exotic fruit
[+31] u/AndThisGuyPeedOnIt: So, inflation is still high, GDP is down, jobless claims are up, strait is still closed, and ceasefire is broken?
"Stocks rise as market shakes off apocalyptic meteor hurtling toward Earth."
[+31] u/pleasestoptalkin: The British couldn’t have given Jewish people a nice island in the middle of the ocean or something instead of land in the Middle East?
[+29] u/nthnreallymatters: Bro they've literally ruined the stock market
There is zero fundamental analysis or value investing anymore
It literally trades on short term narratives/headlines, which are discarded in a few weeks as attention moves to the next thing
[+27] u/VariousScenes: They should add more colors to the stock market
[+27] u/fredditf: Core PCE Price Index (MoM) (Feb) 0.4% vs 0.4% EST
Core PCE Price Index (YoY) (Feb) 3.0% vs 3.0% EST
GDP (QoQ) (Q4) 0.5% vs 0.7% EST
Initial Jobless Claims 219K vs 210K EST
[+26] u/Clappindemcheekies: I know this sub is dumb when they can’t read an economic data calendar. PCE is TODAY. CPI is TOMORROW ffs
[+26] u/pleasestoptalkin: You just had to make those jokes at the 2011 White House correspondents dinner, huh? Thanks Obama.
[+24] u/JellyfishFestival: Declining personal income, above target inflation, near recession levels of GDP growth, $100 crude, the slowest job market in over 15 years
Make America Poor Again
[+22] u/Salty-Bid1597: In a parallel universe Obama chose to wear a different suit that day.
Oil is now $30, SPY 1000, the MIddle east has been peaceful for 15 years and Jeffrey Epstein is a respected Senator.
[+18] u/darkspherei: Gordon Ramsay will be delivering the CPI numbers.... Cooked
[+18] u/MrBlueEyedFox: Let me get this straight. This is the cooked information... really? Jeez.
[+18] u/JellyfishFestival: Here comes the ripping green day on blatant indicators of stagflation
I swear that if the Great Depression happened again today it would lead to a face melting rally and not a historic crash.
[+16] u/Ok_Bar231: Please Mr. Market, bring me back to break even. (I’ll continue gambling)
[+16] u/darkspherei: just saw a picture of Netanyahu's wife, no wonder that guy's so mad
[+16] u/FunInteraction9796: puts should print soon
[+15] u/Fantastic_Welcome_61: Iran said continued attacks on Lebanon render ceasefire talks meaningless and that they won’t abandon the Lebanese.
Source: BBG
[+15] u/JellyfishFestival: Remember, no data matters as long as the algos can look at the last few candles and read "Strong Buy" by the rules they are set to.
So near-recession levels of economic activity along with the slowest job market in 15 years and soaring oil prices and a hot war and above target inflation are all good in the hood as long as there's momentum
What a world.
[+14] u/poffa-: Stoopid oil better rip or i am fuk
[+14] u/winston511: +3% day if we can get Israel to stop bombing civilians in Lebanon
[+14] u/Me-Regarded: AMZN was the sleeping giant all along. We sold it because we thought they are spending too much money on growth... Like Amazon doesn't know what the fuck they are doing??!
[+14] u/nthnreallymatters: can you imagine a world without tariffs and wars
we would literally all be so fucking rich
[+14] u/aftherith: Humanity should have turned back at Ask Jeeves or Clippy
[+14] u/karlelzz011: My 5 point plan
- Stop selling TACOs on tuesdays
- Stop doing crazy things after market close
- Say no to hold puts or calls over weeknd
- Say yes to stop loss
- Open the fuc*in strait of HORMOOSE you Bas*rds
[+14] u/Extension-Ad917: It'd be kinda funny if Pakistan showed everyone different 10 point plans
[+13] u/JellyfishFestival: It's so difficult to turn momentum now that most trading is algos and almost all algos are set to "buy high, sell higher" and not "buy low, sell high"
The most irrational rallies can go far beyond what anyone thought largely based on that
[+13] u/avdvetf: mango is cooked and wants out
greenland and cuba are next, eye ran is old news
[+13] u/JugoShvili: Maybe markets will just stop caring about the war and strait the same way markets eventually stopped caring about tariffs.
[+13] u/BadBoyBilbo: Books so cooked they call it Bobby Flay
[+13] u/Valkorion335786: Israel bombing Lebanon saying Lebanon wasn’t part of the ceasefire agreement is the most Israeli thing ever lmao
Puts
[+13] u/Pazzaaaaaa: Don’t worry guys, META released a Chatbot so now we have 5 Chatbots that all do the same thing. This will save the economy.
[+13] u/Specialist_Fig9458: If Bessent has a thousand haters I’m one
If Bessent has a hundred haters I’m one
If Bessent has ten haters I’m one
If Bessent has one hater that hater is me
If Bessent has no haters I am no longer alive
[+12] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: everyone is expecting war to break out again, no one is expecting Putin to release the PEE PEE tapes
[+12] u/jazzgrackle: Low volume, calls sitting at 675 are going to get sold fast, pump price isn’t sustainable. Shit’s dumping today. Sorry.
[+12] u/killainvest: I can already tell today will be lame
[+12] u/Bxdwfl: Doesn't core pce not include energy 😂
[+12] u/sarcago: Gas is literally almost $5/gallon here what the fuck
[+12] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: theta gang will invade all your portfolios today 🐌 ⏳ 🔥
[+12] u/moosewithamuffin: Put it all on 0DTEs for double or nothing.
[+11] u/avdvetf: murica is amazing, there are people camping for days in a line at the aguusta masters to buy garden gnomes
puts
[+11] u/OsamaBagHolding: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+11] u/Diamond-Solo: Nothing can tank this market. It's a joke man
[+11] u/Le_Flight_Chief: Holy fuck this market is really manipulated. Do the bulls have like an equivalent to the Epstein Files on the market? Is that why it won’t go down?
[+11] u/AbiralParajuli: Gambling problem 👎 Hobby 👍
[+11] u/kawkface: Massive asteroids heading for Earth
Spy up 0.5%
[+11] u/Country_Gravy420: I want to make sure I got this right.
The reason we pumped so much is because of ceasefire announcement. The ceasefire is immediately broken, strait closed, and we just stay flat because of reasons.
Did i get that right?
[+11] u/LeagueofData: I know every bear is huffing copium. But it's actually fucking insane the strait is closed and SPY is at 674.
I'm going drop acid today to see if I can make it make sense.
[+10] u/Trader0721: Feeling like another melt up day
[+10] u/Aware_Secret_8910: If we end anywhere between +0.00% and +0.10% it is going to be very funny
[+10] u/Individual-Parsley48: Israel must stop these cruel and wanton attacks on Lesbians
[+10] u/emanresu711: I’m not a smoker. I’m a gambler. I’m not a smoker. I’m a gambler. I’m not a smoker. I’m a gambler
Sorry just a little remider for myself
[+10] u/Gaxicola: Higher jobless claims 📉
[+10] u/psytokine_storm: Today's economic data shows:
1) People are making less, and it's worse than expected.
2) Jobless claims are higher than previous, and are accelerating faster than expected
3) GDP is slowing, and it's worse than expected
4) People are spending less, and their spend rate is dropping faster than expected
Regardless, SPY ticks up...
WTF is going on here?
[+10] u/Weak-Equal-9084: Let me get this Strait. Is The Straight open, or closed?
[+10] u/__nameless____: Oil is still climbing, I smell blood
[+9] u/PracticalMeeting5267: WAKE UP MARKET, THE CEASEFIRE IS FAKE!
[+9] u/Unique_Zucchini1041: Literally has been green everyday
[+9] u/Arcisi: * 21% stocks
* 70% ETFs
* 22% January 2027 ETF ITM calls
* -32% TSLA
* 21% cash
[+9] u/DebtOk4461: 🥭 is saying we need a REAL AGREEMENT. 🥭 The Manipulating Moron strikes again.
[+9] u/A_Chair_Bear: The algo was gonna react to the data, but it recognized that it’s already priced in.
[+9] u/Specialist_Fig9458: BULLS THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING. IF TODAY IS GREEN I WILL BE BULLISH AND WE WILL GET GREAT DEPRESSION II
[+9] u/Successful-End7689: CNBC:
Disney laying off 1K hardworking Americans… that’s tough to see.
Anyways, from a market perspective how should investors position here… bullish or bearish?
[+8] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: It doesn’t matter what the news is. If institutions own a majority of the shares their price movement is mechanical.
[+8] u/Williamnguyen62838: BREAKING NEWS: CPI REPORT IS OUT IN 4 MINUTES
[+8] u/BlackKnightsOptions: I am once again calling on tanker captains to stop being pussies and go through the strait since it's open and no one will shoot at them cmon guys
[+8] u/Senior_Lawfulness404: My calls are about to be graped arent they
[+8] u/No-Put2311: Bers can’t catch a break
[+8] u/Internal_Field5970: Who is ready to lose money today?
[+8] u/guhhhh_MU: Welp boys, Might take a bit off..... my 60k in long dated micron calls turned into $5k at one point. I got pissed and yoloed it on MU 385C expiring 4/17. cashed out yesterday with 35k..... I need atleast 1-2 nights of good sleep me tired
[+8] u/_RAPTORMAN_: A lot of retail must be short because why tf else would It still be flat and the slightest down.
[+8] u/The_Juice_Gourd: Cash Gang be like ”Whoever wins, we lose.”
[+8] u/Ok-Bumblebee1526: Love to see that spy is down all night and as soon as I wake up and check the chart, it immediately starts going up (I have puts)
[+8] u/gabrielmmk: Trumps negotiations meeting with Iran:
Jordan Belford here; what if I told you you have a once in a taco time opportunity to short Crude oil and repair your whole country if we just pretend we have a deal and you say you’re reopening the strait?
Then tomorrow you go long and you just say you closed it again. You build your country I bankrupt another casino… it’s a win - win - so much winning 🤝
[+8] u/abroadbroadband: # Oops.
# I did it again.
# 😗👐
And I'll do it again and again, like you've never seen before.
[+8] u/Frozen_Shades: Magic 8 Ball will today be a -2% day?
*Looks at a bowling ball*
[+8] u/JellyfishFestival: 0.5% annualized GDP growth are we winning yet?
I'm sure SPY will still end the year up 20% anyway
[+8] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: GDP looking like it needs a hims
[+8] u/FunInteraction9796: no way we pump off this shit data right
[+8] u/nthnreallymatters: i mean if the last month couldn't tank the market
you just have to be balls to the wall long at all times
literally never be a bear
[+8] u/Diamond-Solo: The thing is like 2% off ATH despite the bullshit going on in the world.
Makes sense?
[+8] u/Firm_Passage_6844: I think bears don't like making money, they only care about being right, even if they nuke their ports every time
disclaimer: i am one thats why i know
[+8] u/AbiralParajuli: Love the 🥭 market, quants don’t know shit, it’s all waiting for the next tweet and vibes
[+8] u/TheOriginalBushToad: Just wait 'till we get CPI tomorrow! Absolutely nothing will happen again...
[+7] u/apurimac777: I have a feeling we get rugged hard today
[+7] u/ResidentPack4103: AI stocks are 🚀 rn cuz earnings gonna be wild...We gonna pump like crazy into earnings season
Then everything will drop 20% because earnings as analysts will put it "too good, must be a top"
Rinse n repeat the next 5 years
[+7] u/GuwopGOAT: Are my 673 puts gonna hit today
[+7] u/No-Improvement3164: META is the widow marker. Bulls got wrecked now Bears turn
[+7] u/Coogiez: Economic data today uh oh
[+7] u/Think_Currency_8586: Oil continues to go up straight remains closed. Israel still bombing. Somehow spy is flat on the year
[+7] u/mrsweettreats: Got a subway sandwich and it cost me almost 20 bucks
Yeah no inflation here
[+7] u/ThinkingOfTheOldDays: *You have removed Pakistan from the group chat*
[+7] u/NewlyOld31: Holy mother of God. SOME and I mean a little of my Amazon shares are back green lol
[+7] u/milocreates: My puts are gonna fuck me tosay
[+7] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: tune in next week for our *next Conquest*🫴📐
[+7] u/ten7four: If USO doesn't hit 130 today I'm going to chuck my mom's tendies at the wall
[+7] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: There are several obituaries that can send the market to 750.
And there is a combination of 3 of them that will send it to 850.
Every single person of those 3 is short and old. And one of them is Orange too.
[+7] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: the men *YEARN* to delete LinkedIn 🫴💩
[+7] u/MadHat0815: The amount of delusion and copium fueling the market is honestly amazeing...
[+7] u/spaurake: Incoming pce and gdp remind me of the ancient times when we used to trade on economic data.
[+7] u/BadBoyBilbo: The amount of data coming in 2 minutes is…well…a lot.
[+7] u/pepe_____-: Flat as shit and close red .05% watch this
[+7] u/FunInteraction9796: uso pushing 130 by close
[+7] u/Coley44: Market pumps on anything. Doesn't matter. Barely dumps on horrible news and takes at minimum a day or two to actually acknowledge. Nothing happens today unfortunately
[+7] u/VOO_bull_forever: # it is not remotely possible for AMZN to go down after I took a 13k USD loss on that pos 2 weeks ago. Shit I have been holding is all down. FUCK YOU
[+7] u/Coley44: THE MOST COOKED BOOKS YOU'VE EVER SEEN BABY
[+7] u/mrsweettreats: I like my oil stagflated and medium rare
[+7] u/Pazzaaaaaa: Horrible numbers and oil going above 100$. Equities will probably pump again
[+7] u/Wild_Boy_: Shit data but market still flat, tf
[+7] u/Boheed: US is changing the draft in December so everybody is AUTOMATICALLY enrolled. Zoomers are cooked.
[+7] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: Perfect setup for SPY to do absolutely nothing again today
[+7] u/daedalus_dance: BUT THE DOW WAS OVER 50,000!?!
[+7] u/Specialist_Fig9458: I noticed a precipitous decrease in Bessent hating on this sub when Reddit banned me for a week after I called him a no no word. Let’s get those numbers up! LMAO
[+7] u/Sam_Vicious2: Almost bought AMZN + USO calls yesterday... dangit
[+7] u/saintmitchy: Make Money With Puts Challenge (IMPOSSIBLE!)
[+7] u/MrT_IDontFeelSoGood: Iran this morning: the ceasefire will only hold if attacks on Lebanon stop, the next hours are critical
Israel: *sends evacuation notice to Beirut for next attack*
[+7] u/Massive-Assistant387: Pre-Market read for whoever gives a shit.
We are still in a PIN regime and dealers are long gammma.
They are going to Buy dips and Sell Rips all day until something changes - Think Catalyst.
This will be free money if we trade with them, not against them.
Good luck and make some fucking cash.
[+7] u/Trader0721: Smart money is too interested in making the retail shorts lose, that they will buy no matter what’s going on with the strait
[+7] u/psychoffs: Are people really still trying to get rugged on BB? Wasn’t that like 5 years ago??
[+6] u/knoqd_: > Coreweave $CRWV to offer $3B of convertible senior notes due 2032 in a private placement, with buyers able to purchase up to another $450M.
Lmao
[+6] u/teh_herper: #OPEN THE CASINO NOW
[+6] u/Invisible_Pony: I'm ready for another day of the market moving 0.1% from open to close
[+6] u/CharacterPublic6538: Can you regards not mention META? I sold my 4/24 625 calls before the pump yesterday 😔
Every time you guys mention META it hurts my feelings. Can I ask for your help? From one regard to another?
[+6] u/ValueOfADollar: Fake ahh pump incoming
[+6] u/stonetrade: Ahhh I see. We were so close to peace but the terrorists thought ceasefire means just bomb somewhere else.
[+6] u/wildcat1055: They're gonna bother publishing economic indicators?
I say the Truth Social posts are more than enough.
[+6] u/Ok_GAINZ: Hold on to ya butts...
[+6] u/tendiemountain: Crude approaching 100 again. Time to go short again. Well, short more. Free tendies.
[+6] u/kakacha: Can’t wait to see the adjusted numbers in a month.
[+6] u/imaginarytrades: I feel the tension. It’s in my Middle East section ☹️
[+6] u/Individual-Parsley48: My name is Nasdack Essenpee and I'm here to FUCK
[+6] u/Frozen_Shades: [This will definitely tank stonks...OMG](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ?si=W3CP-zr2h8cgpsAK)
[+6] u/Rosebunse: So are we 100% sure Pam Bondi and Karoline Leavitt aren't the same person? Have we seen them together?
[+6] u/rwc5078: If you are cooking eggs, ensure the range is on to allow the eggs to cook
This is financial advice
[+6] u/kim82352: Oil at +5.5% already. What is your target for the day?
[+6] u/SZJX: It's still not dumping on the data...... Actually it will pump at open won't it smh
[+6] u/NoodHigga69: I love my oil over 100
[+6] u/Electrical-Prize5445: Lower GDP growth is bearish Right? RIGHT??
[+6] u/FunInteraction9796: ok so no dump today got it
[+6] u/_pout_: Yo so I just read up on some PLTR tech because I was like am I missing out and then I see some shit about their AI's advancements:
"Compressed the full kill chain from target identification to strike authorization to under 60 seconds."
Fuck that. I'm never investing in that bukkake. Compressed kill chain go fuck yourself.
[+6] u/Xelonima: Calls on stagflation
[+6] u/PassiveF1st: Last time I checked the market was in the same place back in October. The only people making money in this is Theta gang or someone who catches a move up or down just right.
[+6] u/Individual-Parsley48: I heard Israel killed hundreds of Lesbians, that's fucked up yo
[+6] u/Anonymustafar: But but I was promised Dow at 50,000 2,000 years ago
[+6] u/Frozen_Shades: I wonder if anyone is pooping right now?
[+6] u/ResidentPack4103: Guys I'm a bull but its fucking Thursday
[+6] u/_pout_: Gonna have theta days till the bombs start dropping again
[+6] u/Brawmethius: Ceasefire. Dead.
Inflation. Back.
Jobs. Disappearing.
Market: hmmm are you sure?
[+6] u/AdOk3638: All in 0dte instead broski, on god!
[+6] u/Specialist_Fig9458: Yes that’s very stupid. Now is the time you save. Maybe spend a couple grand on a nice trip here or there but do not blow half of your money this early. Compound interest is your friend
[+5] u/hv876: You ever wake up, see your port green and go back to sleep because you can’t believe what you’re seeing?
[+5] u/Spok3nTruth: Y'all still got money to buy? Must be nice
[+5] u/Smart_Influence2966: shit posting here while taking a dump is a privilege 🫡
[+5] u/Fluffy-Discussion166: Markets go sideways for next two weeks
[+5] u/Particular-Vast2199: ey yo I thought the ceasefire had been violated but it's all pumping and market doesn't care anymore?
[+5] u/ToughVegetable2483: I know the move today but your not gonna like it
[+5] u/hamilton280P: A believe it or not Calls kinda day?
[+5] u/mannycalls24: Puts not printing today bears that’s tomorrow
[+5] u/No-Improvement3164: I knew META wasn’t done.
[+5] u/Adventurous_Ice4910: yall ready for nasdaq to go to 20k by next month
[+5] u/No-Improvement3164: PCE will be so cool they will cut immediately and SPY hits 750 EOW. 120pt rally like you’ve never seen before
[+5] u/Aware_Secret_8910: I think both sides will try to look reasonable while pretending to negotiate for around a week to gain support from their own population before things go down and they blame the opposite side for it
[+5] u/PomegranateLow4822: Sndk stx are new nvda
[+5] u/Visible_Sir7057: This PCE print is gonna create a new anoos for ber 😂
[+5] u/UnitedCup1814: Fuck sold 119 and 120 weeklies on marvel yesterday. Watch this go to 250
[+5] u/Pauldoc001: When will Israel bankrupt itself with all these wars?
[+5] u/orsomeshitidk: I kinda miss the covid days other than all the dying of course lol.
[+5] u/Daydreamer1945: I bought 300k spy puts $640 April 17, if I win, I will buy a franchise Wendy's, if not, see you all at Wendy's. Godspeed.
[+5] u/Knarre30: I dont find words to describe this situation anymore. Thats not about being a bull or a bear. The market just doesnt work anymore. There are always stocks that are over-/undervalued and its normal that there are hypes and crashes. But a war that direct affects the support of oil/energy shouldnt lead to spy being on the same level as before the war.
[+5] u/According-Page8618: whos buying palantir here
[+5] u/thealex7r: Quick question:
Why no one mentioning that France took all it's gold from Fed reserves?
Right before dollar got weaker, in the exact time orange said he'll nuke everyone?
Cover up? Or I miss something?
[+5] u/kawkface: If we open less than 0.5% in either direction I'm not trading today
[+5] u/Noticeably98: I had a dream I was constipated, and, you know, sometimes dreams really do come true
[+5] u/Sweaty-Survey-9804: Today…. We retest 660
[+5] u/Specialist_Fig9458: Got my fiancé a hand sketched portrait of our dog and guess who’s out of the dog house LMAO
[+5] u/imaginarytrades: Big bobby goth chicks….
Shit this isn’t Google
[+5] u/rkillaaa: anyone who has options expiring today is going to get theta fukt
[+5] u/Independent-Tree-985: A bol will look you in the eye and break parts 5, 7, and 8 of the ceasefire
[+5] u/According-Page8618: buying palantir and tesla and MSFT here, total regardium will prevail.
[+5] u/Swiftnice: SPY not reacting to oil climbing again. I guess it's waiting until open to crash lol
[+5] u/noahmfs: GDP end up being lower than .7 we are fucked
[+5] u/soup4br3kfast: I'm a dumbass for thinking hormuz being closed can tank spy
[+5] u/btoned: It's truly amazing how EVERYTHING is up and EVERYTHING is bullish except wages and workers. 👍🏼
[+5] u/DingleJingle_: So personal spending is down, and inflation is up. Let's pump this shit green.
[+5] u/Strangerdanger8812: Do i take more zoloft for the sadness it causes from not being able to cum?
[+5] u/Options_tarded: Wild that we spoke 3% on fake good news. But when bad news hits the markets down like 0.4%. The only way in this market is to hold calls
[+5] u/imaginarytrades: Mods finally got off the shitter I see
[+5] u/unique_ptr: You only live once. More importantly, you're only young once.
Do it. They're just jealous
[+26] u/financiallythriving: Imagine discovering options and think this is a path to financial freedom but instead you lose your entire life savings and go into debt and develop a gambling addiction
[+21] u/cantgetthistowork: Israel trying their best to kill the ceasefire
[+21] u/snaku6763: dont worry, US tax payers are funding it all.
[+20] u/uteeeooo: I feel edgy about JD vance leading this negotiation. The situation is already tense, what if he starts to insulting them like why didn't you even say thank you talk or insulting on how they dress.
[+20] u/Rez-_-: Remember guys, the ceasefire announcement wasn’t priced in, but after going up 2+% immediately after the “announcement” the ceasefire not being met and fulfilled had 0 effect and was already priced in
[+19] u/spectra444: 3 minutes until I’m -99% 🫡
[+19] u/JPOW_Used_No_Lube: "Israel orders broad evacuation of southern Beirut... Such warnings have often previously been followed by Israeli strikes."
These guys really just can't help themselves
[+17] u/TheMightySet69: Tell me why I shouldn't buy puts rn
[+16] u/Edjedonnie24: Give me one reason why we wont go deep red today?
[+16] u/Groundbreaking-Gap20: It’s hilarious coming here watching people trying to guess what’s coming next and gambling their money away. This subreddit is definitely great for entertainment purposes 😂
[+16] u/MuchProfessional1738: https://preview.redd.it/1bt7tv1h06ug1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=925abe1e1662603ea28f0f897bb2d33adea8bf1c
[+15] u/dasboot523: Evangelical slop comedy
[+15] u/Nonreality-tees-lol: I'm hearing whispers from insiders that it could go up or down
[+13] u/MissMatriarch: It’s doesn’t matter whether you’re bol or ber.
We’re all fucked nonetheless
[+13] u/MarbledTheFoyer: Worldnews is the most manipulated subreddit.
[+13] u/MissMatriarch: Crude just passed 100$ once again.
Back to 115 it goes, while SPY reacts by dropping 0.0001%.
[+13] u/Big-Quote4483: MSFT about to nosedive another 2-3% as usual
[+13] u/spsteve: Wait...
"GDP for the 4th quarter of 2025 has been revised down again.
It was initially 1.4%. Then 0.7%. Now it's 0.5%."
Really??
[+12] u/Thebaxxxx: A healthy snac before i give it all bac
https://preview.redd.it/wdek4o6uw5ug1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=adadb651c0e5572fe9ab051907b53439dab3e7fb
[+12] u/Ok-Analysis4121: Inverse doesn't work anymore because the market inverses our inverse then inverses
[+12] u/jiggolo420: Cutting out the middleman. Just gave myself a hand job. Bullish!
[+12] u/Leading_Form_8485: Should dump but market is retarded. Calls.
[+12] u/trsx5: REAL SMART OF ADVISORS DOWNGRADING A STOCK AFTER IT FALLS 80% REAL SMART PEOPLE
[+12] u/Muted-South4737: I was so young and stupid.
[+11] u/sloanemonroe: All they did was make things look really dire by pretending like Tuesday deadline was an end of civilization moment and when it wasn’t the psychological impact is to buy. EVEN THOUGH NOTHING GOT BETTER
[+11] u/31andnotdone: whats the vibe in here so I can inverse
[+11] u/Frosty-Pea-4577: Never trust a man that bankrupts a casino
[+11] u/PandoraBot: I'm gonna be like 40 minutes late to work lmao woops
[+11] u/Competitive-Water944: Bul nervous. Bul high cortisol
[+11] u/mzunguwamerikani: GUYS I TOOK PROFITS MADE $35 😎✌️😝
[+11] u/cryptohomunculus: Absolutely not touching shit until Momday. These sre some choppy waters.
[+11] u/61742: Sabotage market -5%
Lie about fixing it +7%
Get caught lying about fixing it -0%
is not a repeatable exploit I thought would work
[+11] u/Admirable-Key2405: You look at spy, walk away and come back 2 hours later, spy is still at the same spot. You close your position for a loss. Life is good.
[+11] u/TheGodDavidLoPan: You didnt make money so shes good bro
[+11] u/iswearnotagain10: That’s even less than passed through a week ago
Normal traffic is like 150 a day
[+11] u/TropicalOinkment: Bro is lizardmaxxing
[+10] u/likamuka: 219K people in the US filed for unemployment this past week - above expectations of 210K. Home prices are increasing faster than household income, which means it’s getting harder to afford a home, per NBC. Real disposable personal income was -0.5% in February.
3 lost decades incoming
[+10] u/Detail-Vegetable: Iran is going to convert JD Vance to Islam with their beautiful, luxurious couches.
[+10] u/TinyAdhesiveness5773: do not open the casino 😭
[+10] u/PropheticMurmurs: Can we go back to late 2024 and pumping bullshit like ACHR?
[+10] u/spsteve: War, terrible GDP numbers and revisions. and big green dildo... this is beyond fucked.
[+10] u/ScrambledEgggggs: The bears will win the day book it!
[+10] u/llasar17: Weird way to say you been busy with ladyboys
[+9] u/Red_V_Standing_By: I wouldn’t put it past 🥭 to pull some shit during The Masters just because Augusta wouldn’t invite him to be a member.
[+9] u/SoothingWafer: Shrek is primed to come out any time drop his swampy shorts and smear his green schlong all over the candle charts
[+9] u/Immediate-Coast-5066: whats going to happen next
Trump will come and say lebanese attach will stop
oil will decline again
never declined market will rise again
[+9] u/theekhai: What would make the market crash at this point I think a nuke dip would get bought up by mango saying they’re gonna rebuild better than ever
[+9] u/AlarmedPelican: Remember NFTs LMFAOOO
[+9] u/qui_tam_gogh: My best advice for you is to switch to scratchers. I’ve never met anyone who lost it all on scratchers.
[+9] u/Rez-_-: My asshole is ready for my puts expiring today to be worthless and than dump hard by tomorrow
[+9] u/Ok-Art6659: Are we ready for another theta day. This time at 674
[+9] u/Late_Echo1453: Daily request to tongue punch my fart box 😩😩😩😩😩
[+9] u/iDahves: My USO calls are in the pusy
[+9] u/emilio369x: Money makers gonna pretend oil isn’t $100+
[+9] u/ihopethisworksfornow: >Fat opioid addicted mechanic from Gary, Indiana who has never left his state 100% certain that *those people* are the cause of his life’s problems
[+9] u/This-Marzipan-5557: How is spy up on a strait that is more closed then before the lies?
[+9] u/demigodz02: For how many bulls there are put volume is awfully high 👀
[+9] u/Necessary-Lychee-486: This market deserves a circuit breaker down but the fraud must continue
[+9] u/WillTheGreat: Yall know the best trading strategy is based on your hopes and vibes. The profit is the experience we gained along the way and the losses don’t count if you just delete the app
[+9] u/Just_Learned_This: I'm too stupid to understand how stupid I am
[+9] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Just dump it already
[+9] u/Neat-Concentrate-239: ALGOS PUMPED SPY COS 9 SHIPS WENT THROUGH THE STRAIT SINCE CEASEFIRE. THATS INFINITE MORE % THAN DURING THE WAR. #WINNING
[+9] u/Locke_____Lamora: Bro has a gambling addiction at 17 years old. Rip your future.
[+9] u/Locke_____Lamora: You have a castle made out of tires in Thailand?
[+8] u/Fernyfern7: Wow guys look how low oil is
[+8] u/lobsterspider: 30 minutes until my favorite game: “is my day ruined or not”
[+8] u/MooseyGoosey69: INTEL AND GOOGLE ANNOUNCE A LONG-TERM PARTNERSHIP TO IMPROVE AI INFRASTRUCTURE USING XEON CPUS AND CUSTOM IPUS.
INTEL does it again
[+8] u/Kattilaeikka: It takes special kind of talent to drive the US economy to the brink of stagflation in just over a year.
[+8] u/kwarknagel: Now that the excursion is over, can we go back to harassing the admin over the pedophiles?
[+8] u/Euphoric_Present8838: Yall ever watch the bid/ask section under stats on RH wishing you had the good autism to notice a winning pattern?
[+8] u/Worried_Quarter469: The revised GDP of 0.7 was revised to 0.5
Thank God they’re out of revisions
[+8] u/ThatOneRedditBro: GDP falling well below expectations is bullish for rate cuts. We will pump at the open
[+8] u/Beazt11123: MSFT, the only stock that sees we are at war
[+8] u/Venice_LA: genuinely not too late to harvest your gains in PLTR. Anthropic/OpenAi/Gemini will soon be able to bypass their entire moat.
[+8] u/Marshmallowmind2: I'm so so fuckin tired coming here every day as a cash holder, waiting for a market crash but only seeing grind up on terrible daily news
[+8] u/Mistondalist: Are people really buying right now?
[+8] u/Normal_Finance_3083: #I suspect during the weekend we see troops on ground. LMAO🤌
[+8] u/Blyrone__Blashinton: I think you were just early
[+7] u/Basic-Kale3169: Stock markets also “performed” very well during the Weimar Republic. Everything appears to perform well when you judge it against a depreciating currency.
Speculation became widespread even ordinary people bought shares, pushing prices “like air balloons.”
[+7] u/ThouOne: Open the crashino, I want some MSFT shares
[+7] u/AdExtension3875: market looks like my ex.. not that hot and takes it all
[+7] u/Canadianinvestor1997: Stop buying tesler. Just let it dump. Let it go -10%
[+7] u/Plane-Department-497: Market: “soft landing achieved”
Also market: prints 0.4% core PCE and GDP getting revised down.
Jerome is gonna sit on those cuts like covered calls that never fill. Rates staying higher for longer and stonks somehow still go brrr.
[+7] u/Muted-South4737: I was told today was going to be the 8th again. I had big plans to redo some things.
[+7] u/Ok_Material3073: Bull trap, bear trap, Bull trap , bear trap... Repeat
[+7] u/Normal_Tap3021: Spy go to 673 please
[+7] u/anjuna-freak: Oil has been going up since yesterday afternoon and the market hasn’t reacted at all. Why?
[+7] u/lendrickkvmvr: Man if only geopolitical tensions escalated for a couple of hours so i could make 50$
[+7] u/Majestic_Natural_361: Omg omg omg the Masters starts today
[+7] u/Fhyzikz: USO is stored in the balls
[+7] u/HistorianMuch8963: who is buying calls at open with me ?
[+7] u/Thebaxxxx: The monke at the zoo has
> a half acre of land, a house
> maid service
> chef on staff
> throws its shit at people
> monke is king
[+7] u/jraiv420: Diddy bought the oil dip
[+7] u/Fhyzikz: What if Barron is actually just really good at reading charts? Like Rain man shit
[+7] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Algos gonna buy this up.. we fuked up letting nerds control this much money
[+7] u/crossdefaults: What is this? An end of civilization for ants?
[+7] u/Necessary_Fly_9266: Give it about five minutes
[+7] u/Austerlitz19: The straits been closed for like 6 weeks, and probably isn’t opening any time soon and yet the market thinks it’s appropriate to price SPY at around the levels it was at before the conflict started- fucking 🤡 market lol
[+7] u/csr8765: Microsoft bag holders with yet another opportunity to get out and rotate into a name with positive catalysts. Probably just gonna whine and complain while they hold onto a losing position tho
[+7] u/Confident-Window4928: I was up 120% ytd on Thursday last week… god i hate you bols
[+7] u/zanimny17: How is oil not mooning💀
[+7] u/CMDR_Shepard96: MSFT is the worst stock I ever bought.
[+7] u/trsx5: I JUST GOT CAUGHT ON A SHORT SQUEEZE FML
[+7] u/Brilliant_Object_847: SPX’s got that 47th chromosome jacking off in the hall way tard strength
[+7] u/Pretend_Bluebird_53: I fucking lose ever single trade i do
[+7] u/Miffy1234567: So oil above 100 and we not deep red??
[+7] u/Zimoula: Full port and post pic
[+7] u/AdExtension3875: You also like bears right?
[+6] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Literally stagflation.
[+6] u/Fhyzikz: Heat death of the universe is priced in
[+6] u/bb483: 1 red day and I’ll take the rest of the week off
[+6] u/log1ck1717: I have some cash to play with, what bags needs pumping today?
[+6] u/sufficiently7777: Pump cancelled due to failing economy. Today will bleed into a dump tomorrow
[+6] u/Far-Requirement9180: INTC going parabolic since I sold a few days ago lol, fucking lmaooooo
[+6] u/Blacksin01: All those guys doubted me when I said intel was a bargain @ $17-$25 and would come back hard.
Wait till china hits Taiwan in a couple years and intel skyrockets.
[+6] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Bad gdp, high inflation
Dump it right now
[+6] u/Ledd10: Why is Reddit suggesting me "Nothing ever happens" song based on my interests?
[+6] u/PicklesAreTight: NVDA is fucking garbage to trade now.
[+6] u/Yousoldmetohigh: I can already see the chop today. Probably going to end the day within $1 of where we open.
[+6] u/fewthingsarerelated: USO to 130 at open then I'll sell my calls
[+6] u/djln491: tsla gonna dump hard?
[+6] u/Cardiologist_Actual: Just took a bump of K. Now I can be one with the green and red lines on my phone that I will yolo 100% of my port into. Follow for more.
[+6] u/Sanchezq: Another ceasefire announced by noon.
[+6] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Higher inflation, lower gdp.
Dump it right now.
[+6] u/Significant_Speed854: Damn today gonna be real low volatility and basically flat.
[+6] u/Noble_Bastard: Oh no. Poor people who don't buy stocks, have no money to buy the stocks they weren't going to buy anyway.
[+6] u/mzunguwamerikani: GUYS ROBIN HOOD IS DOWN TODAY
[+6] u/sjtomcat: What an absolute clown market
[+6] u/TropicalOinkment: Yeah good girl, open wide that Hormussy
[+6] u/Zimoula: Ah yes pump it randomly before open lmao
[+6] u/xReMaKe: This is your daily reminder.
FUCK MSFT!
I’ll remind all of you everyday. Have a blessed day, and again. FUCK MSFT.
[+6] u/Miker1730: microsoft does the same thing everyday and you guys still buy calls... loosers
get puts and win!!
[+6] u/PicklesAreTight: Microsoft should take Apple’s playbook and just give up on Copilot. Also, stop filling your products with ads you stupid fucks.
[+6] u/ImAnonymous135: Inflation up, oil price up, gold up, usd down, trump threatening strikes to resume and yet...
SPY is down 0.15% and trending up looking to be another green day
Make it make sense
[+6] u/zer0_chance284: Why does everything always move the exact opposite direction of where I need it to
[+6] u/I_work_too_much: Where were YOU when the most used global commodity in human history began trading like a meme stock?
[+6] u/Syllabub_Visual: What is with this STUPID price action?!?!
[+6] u/Happy-n-Healthy: As soon as Jared walks into the room they said NO DEAL, we won't negotiate with sissy boiis
[+6] u/wenxuan2: Every day this thread is just full of regards complaining and asking about MSFT "What is going on with it?" KEK
[+6] u/sadguy__: Dump coming in 20min prepare your dicks
[+6] u/Just_Learned_This: Up .1% on my puts, suck it bols
[+6] u/lookingforajob2020: effortless pump to green lmfao
[+6] u/ChemistryAnxious5472: Getting a handy while markets flat
[+6] u/ddrsdght: Iran war literally doesn’t matter
[+6] u/Temporary-Basil-3030: Trading this shit is no fun.
[+6] u/jnas_19: Shit Cramer is bullish on semis
[+6] u/Waiting4Reccession: just fucking dump it
[+6] u/yushey__: I was promised blood
[+6] u/Happy-n-Healthy: Jared and Nettin yahoo text each other all day like 2 Junior HS girls
[+6] u/jmc774: Damn PLTR legist crashing. Couldn't have happened to a nicer company
[+6] u/TyroneSwoopes: Bers bout to go extinct again when Covid 26 and a nuke drops on the same day and spy jumps to $1000
[+6] u/YeeyeeTigOlBitties: You think Israel is paying for it?
[+6] u/cowman711: Puts and what the hell is a delta im buying 0dte at the money
[+5] u/Sean_VasDeferens: You're fine, your mom isn't. What parent sets up an account for a child to gamble. Wow!
[+5] u/ZombieDracula: It was technically never closed
[+5] u/Normal_Tap3021: Spy keeps pricing in oil pumps
[+5] u/Advanced_Divide_4641: My 4/9 options are expiring a day early. It’s the 8th. Scam market.
[+5] u/Cardiologist_Actual: What’s oil gonna do is the q
[+5] u/jayxmor: Intel and Google announce multiyear collaboration on AI computing $INTC $GOOGL
Man, intc is having a month. And the month just started LMAO
[+5] u/OGWFORLIFE: This is so highly regarded. Oil will be moving like a meme coin for the rest of the year huh? What the fuck was the point of the 20% drop? Oil over 100 is still fucking ridiculous
[+5] u/TwoNine13: Msft doing its thang this morning
[+5] u/Zimoula: Somehow market will pump more
[+5] u/Desperate-Math-8365: At this point I’ve been more profitable playing BTC hourlys…..
[+5] u/Rez-_-: Anyone else excited for another day of fake chop to gatekeep the drop and/or squeeze higher before we retest the “ceasefire” announcement?
[+5] u/melvinzee: Lol imagine next week when everything is wrapped up Nato sends a fleet of warships to Hormuz?
[+5] u/LiamPhlegmsworth: Chop til Friday at 3:57pm. Saw it in my tea leaves this morning
[+5] u/HARCYB-throwaway: You can just tell this thing is going to rip higher at open....chomping at the bit
[+5] u/rusty888: Financial collapse looms as the war bursts the AI bubble and dismantles the petrodollar system 
[+5] u/Ledd10: Why does it look like it's about to rip?
INTC and NVDA will drag the whole market up
[+5] u/sloanemonroe: So all of the oil experts talking about shortages are just plain wrong? Nobody knows how much oil is actually available to these countries? There are no facts about any of this stuff?
[+5] u/FullCopy: Who’s tired of winning?
[+5] u/kerrykingzgo-T: Looks like the play is actually beef and lean hogs, I'll be taking physical possession of both and traumatizing myself
[+5] u/Frosty-Pea-4577: Math aint mathing bruh
[+5] u/ThermalChaser: Maybe a hot take but we deserve 7/11
[+5] u/JellyfishLarge3794: Oil bers 👑
Spy bears 🫱 🍟 🛍️
[+5] u/spectra444: There should be a separate gambling hotline for this thread alone
[+5] u/Miker1730: microsoft puts everyday has been PRINTInG , follow the trend guys
[+5] u/Competitive-Water944: It’s over Bul. Spread cheeks. Twerk anoos
[+5] u/Losemoniez: Pseudo cease fire = theta
[+5] u/annoyed_meows: Oh fuck me, FUCK MEEEEE!!!!!
[+5] u/Rez-_-: Shit. the ceasefire not being a ceasefire was priced in inflation was priced in
[+5] u/jassal1729: REGARDIUM LEVIOSA !!!!!
[+5] u/Rich-Badger-7601: If we really wanted to cripple the Iranian military we should just have them all switch to Salesforce
[+5] u/OkExercise4093: OIL up, mag7 down
thats right spy up
[+5] u/TropicalOinkment: Bro is concretemaxxing
[+5] u/Ahzmer: would be fools to follow a demented fools commands
[+5] u/ristrettoexpresso: Can someone explain what micro crude oil futures are to me in like terms that a dumb bitch would understand?
[+5] u/Mean_Bumblebee1945: Oil at 100 again and QQQ looks like it wants to pump hard to the upside again today
[+5] u/Confident-Window4928: The oxycodone im taking for the surgery i had is the only thing making the state of my portfolio bearable
[+5] u/PompeiiSketches: \*Bers looking at the charts in disbelief (disheveled hair, tears in eyes) while consulting several theses on market dynamics and economic history.
\*Bulls singing Pink Pony Club in the shower. Every bomb dropped on Tehran 10xs their portfolio.
[+5] u/Helpful-Weekend-2224: Always trade as if the game is fixed because it is
[+5] u/magmacannon: I’m not forgetting the fact that a new wallet was made on Polymarket last month and put millions of dollars on a bet that the U.S. was to send ground troops by the end of April and we still have a mass of troops and expeditionary units awaiting further instructions. Under this administration, there’s a proclivity to launch an operation during a moment of implied peace, and this ceasefire is holding on by a string, especially considering it appears as though Iran got the upper hand.
[+5] u/dabblesest: Ok guys remember to always panic!
Good luck
[+5] u/Tay_Tay86: Oh hi oil. Nice baseball bat you've got there. What do you think you're going to do with it?
Oh ...
Oh no...
[+5] u/Far-Requirement9180: Some of you are truly jacked to the tits in MSFT and it shows lol
[+5] u/rcantu314: Why is pltr getting delisted
[+5] u/tika_dengu: >Gulf countries report no new aerial attacks from Iran today - AL Berzeera
[+5] u/Specialist-Sun-4751: Nobody wants to trade this market because its too sensitive to silly Truth socials
[+5] u/Happy-n-Healthy: Jared has softer hands than his wife and kids
[+5] u/VincenteThomp: Interesting that the talks are supposed to happen Friday, as if 🥭 expects them to go badly so the market can’t tank over the weekend.
[+5] u/AmeriMan2: The 🥭 is gonna give us a negative gdp again
[+5] u/keroro0071: Did Microsoft commit a war crime or something?
[+5] u/AcademicStandard3701: Lmao PLTR is getting hit by a hammer made by 1000 suns
[+5] u/ziggs_ulted_japan: Pltr is about to drop to 125 lol
[+5] u/Lbuck24: Sheesh no floor on pltr
[+5] u/Roxorek: oil back above $100 lmao
[+5] u/Substantial-Art5008: 🥭 really fcked up the trading experience there’s literally no volume left to trade with…
[+5] u/mayorolivia: Happy belated power plant and bridge day
[+5] u/MooseTracksMaple: Help me decide what to have for breakfast:
* oatmeal
* waffle
* toast
Update: waffles got the most votes so I had an Eggo waffle with syrup and whipped cream.
[+5] u/Canadianinvestor1997: I love watching Tesla fade to red no matter the news
[+5] u/Playful-Ad-7277: it ain’t making any bloody sense
[+5] u/Ok-ChildHooOd: No one actually believed yesterdays ceasefire was gonna hold did they?
[+5] u/deathlyharry: intel is your local crackhead
[+5] u/Rez-_-: Another day of retesting lows with sellers in control but snappy 5 second rips at convenient times to try and ignite rallies and squeezes to gatekeep the drop
[+5] u/DrawMeAPictureOfThis: Why does my boss talk to me at the urinals? I dont think we should talk when we are both holding our dicks
[+5] u/kairepaire: Permabol narrative only holds if the strait is permeabol
[+5] u/laddie78: I’m so tired of this dogshit market man
When is that blood clot gonna do it’s job?
[+5] u/Syllabub_Visual: Where the FUCK is the volume?!?!?! Fuck you kenny…
[+5] u/Ok_Visit_5741: Flatter than yesterday.
[+5] u/AdditionalMany1292: Honestly until Microsoft stops clearing my clipboard when I close a filter in excel it can go to 0 bane of my existence working in excel daily
[+5] u/spellbadgrammargood: Jesus Intel is at 60.. Did those deals with AMD and Apple even happen?
[+5] u/Blownofftheblock: Msft you son a beetch
[+5] u/WrexyWrex: my coffee is better than yours because i grind my beans for my iced americano every morning like a grown ass man
[+5] u/GalacticPlutoBear: Need a flash crash or I’ll have to skip lunch
[+5] u/Qwoapp: I bought calls gg bulls
[+5] u/OriginalFatPickle: SPY being at 675 is pretty good all things considered.
[+5] u/Boomer_With_Dementia: Not saying you are wrong, just saying that my ability to "realize" anything doesn't work anymore. Stocks, Gold, Oil, Corn have moves so many counterintuitive ways lately that I have begun to question newtonian physics, I mean what is up? Down? Gravity? I lost the ability to believe in reality.
[+5] u/rand_walking_charts: Bold. Does it mean inflation data 10% in an hour and nuke of Iran?
[+5] u/Burtonwurton: MSFT you fucking piece of shit.
[+5] u/shawnshaunseen: i was told there’s another daily threat
[+5] u/shawnshaunseen: or was it a thread i can’t read
[+5] u/StandardChaseScene: Irrational and covered in oil?
[+19] u/poot-lover: Oil up 5%, GDP slowing, Ceasefire violated, SPY…flat. Makes sense.
[+19] u/nsfwnsfwnsfw33333: I have a contact in LA
https://preview.redd.it/82yd80k6h5ug1.png?width=5312&format=png&auto=webp&s=0ff50e62cc6d13409c681a55c73d0478004b8102
[+18] u/RampagingDeer: https://preview.redd.it/tfd0kop0h6ug1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=83df1dc384416165498e90ab4489eb08d33436a9
Just in from 🥭. Priorities.
[+18] u/saw-it: Spy goes down a dollar, my puts barely move. Spy recovers a dollar, my puts plummet.
[+16] u/EnginrA: We should be deep red what’s going on
[+16] u/centered_chaos: Oil about to hit 108 today, somehow the market is not responding yet. LoL
[+15] u/Spiritual_Taste_1253: Market wants to dump but everyone has buy the dip mentality now.
[+15] u/Athien: Fake ceasefire: +3%
Real non-ceasefire: -.3%
Logic?
[+14] u/Spiritual_Taste_1253: I used to feel like the market was somewhat rational and it was WSB being the irrational investors
Now I feel like the whole market is just WSB
[+13] u/NotRobotNFL: Market will go up 2-3% on every “progress” tweet and then not go down when that progress is taken back or proven to be fake. Infinity money. Then create another conflict to have “progress” on
[+13] u/cbusoh66: Fuck that psycho Alex Karp
[+13] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: I am such a good trader that i donated $5.3k to another trader. AMA.
[+13] u/poot-lover: The longer they prop this piece of shit up the worse the fall is going to be
[+13] u/hypeaze: I know how to fix this problem.
Everyone, leave a 1 star review at Strait of Hormuz's Google page so that the gas prices can go down.
[+13] u/Due-Refrigerator2306: my puts are now -98% instead of -99%
[+13] u/Phandomtrigger: BRUH WHAT THE FUCK IS SPY DOING
[+12] u/Careful-Towel3154: what was the fucking point of this ceasefire if oil is above 100. Complete dogshit worse than a meme stock and untradeable
[+12] u/PROMlSED: Oil rising and spy still climbing lmao
[+12] u/zeebee098: We microdosing GLP1s now?
[+12] u/hallett21: 669 today. 650 tomorrow.
[+11] u/IslandExact429: BREAKING: US GDP growth falls from 4.4% to 0.5% in Q4 2025, well below the initially expected +2.8% growth.
[+11] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: ahh yes.. the daily drilling of MSFT continues.. business is going out of business it seems.
[+11] u/Ecodriverz: SPY STILL GLUED TO OPEN PRICE. EVERY FUCKING DAY LMFAO
[+11] u/Skilledthunder: Guy above me is 100% lying
[+11] u/spudbro00: Oil down 10%, qqq up 3%. Oil up 10%, qqq down .3%
[+11] u/AGreasyPorkSandwich: We are threatening the Pope and Greenland now. Kinda sucks being the baddies ngl 😕
[+11] u/The_Judgement_Nut: No, because theyre psychopaths
[+11] u/Hungry-Brain-3287: In the Gambling section too
[+10] u/Quick1711: “Scared money don’t make money”
Fuck that, my money scared
[+10] u/Spiritual_Taste_1253: Oil pumping and SPY not even moving, fuck this shit
[+10] u/Capable-Yak-8486: Anyone else terrified when 🥭 is gone what the revised economy is gonna look like with actual data and real numbers rather than fantasy nonsense?
[+10] u/FinePerformance1046: its a bol trap right? its gotta be a bol trap
[+10] u/mensch7: We're gonna need a bigger ceasefire
[+10] u/Fast-Steak-7730: Bulls can’t even get 700 with manipulation, sad.
[+10] u/Remarkable_Owl: Would you let your demented grandfather run an economy and wage war for the most vital geographical choke point on the planet? No? Then what makes you think this is going to all work out? Puts.
[+10] u/TheOldRamDangle: Just drop you fucking cunt
[+10] u/OkResponsibility2470: USO calls up 40%. Now do I risk being destroyed by a tweet.
[+9] u/HonestScar7176: Why the fuck is grade school starting times so early. Shit should start at 10am.
[+9] u/QuarkTheFerengi: paid almost 6 bucks for premium gas yesterday...in TEXAS, the top energy producing state in USA
[+9] u/Reply_Stunning: # US delegation
* J D Vance, Vice President
* Steve Witkoff, White House Special Envoy
* Jared Kushner, former senior presidential adviser
* Admiral Brad Cooper, CENTCOM Commander (likely to attend)
# Iranian delegation
* Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf, Speaker of Parliament
* Abbas Araghchi, Foreign Minister
everybody's hoping it won't be like one of those Game of thrones episodes lol
[+9] u/Legitimate_Cable_811: I feel like some one put the market on veteran difficulty.
[+9] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: This kinda chop is nerve racking because once the algos decide which animal they hate more today the move in that direction that will fuk them will be violent and theta blasting
[+9] u/-IQ200: Lowkey market is propped up from all the puts. No idea how it works, but it just does.
[+9] u/MeeseShoop: Back in my day, WTI was under $100
[+9] u/Ragnaroknight: I say this as a bear. At least for the current situation.
Just gotta admit the market essentially never wants to go down, no matter what's going on in the world.
We recovered $17 for a ceasefire that was broken in 12 hours. The strait remains closed, and oil is back over $100. Yet SPY is still fighting to go up today.
You really can't bet against the market.
[+9] u/TouchTipz: SPY: I can believe my life depends on JD fucking Vance
[+9] u/Sober_Alcoholic_: Buying MSFT puts at the top has been lovely
https://preview.redd.it/nuia99xme6ug1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=200f4c92d4f9d3326dba19dd9885adf1d725361d
[+9] u/Spiritual_Taste_1253: Anyone else find it kinda odd that we just sit here staring at random numbers hoping they move the way we want
[+9] u/Ben_Banneker: The market can remain irrational longer than I can maintain continence
[+9] u/According_To_Me_: Algos turned on scam mode
[+9] u/Snowman33001: They all bought puts?
Pamp it
[+9] u/Less_Spare_6970: Iran attacks Lebanon 10 mins ago. SPY: let's pump 50c
[+8] u/Abe2025: Msft and palantir destroying my port
[+8] u/AntiOriginalUsername: Fuck it, I’ll open the strait myself.
[+8] u/Morocier: MSFT what?! what is it?! what do you WANT?!?!?
[+8] u/softboiledjadepotato: Oil rocketing and market like, .."ahhh its fine"
[+8] u/Ready_Scratch_1902: ngl i enjoy watching chipotle go down. 5 ingredients. in silver buckets.
and verbal standoff to get decent portions.
you get the privilege to sit down in a cross fit gym decor establishment.
seats are made from wooden planks from pirates many years ago.
[+8] u/Top-Subject38: Someone said uso calls yesterday thanks
[+8] u/Ready_Scratch_1902: when tiger turned pro the average pro golfer was basically as fit as the average pro bowler
he took advantage of that arbitrage for years until it caught up with him
[+8] u/Commercial_Seat_3704: MSFT single digit PE incoming
[+8] u/Jarlaxle_rigged_it: "Best ceasefire ever, even oil is rallying!"
[+8] u/Due-Refrigerator2306: a much deserved pull back of -0.05% before the next +5% run on the ceasefire fr fr talks
[+8] u/Stack_Johnson: Oil shooting up and rates higher, only thing keeping SPY/QQQ up is having too many put holders rn
[+8] u/VanguardDeezNuts: After a lot of research, I have come to the conclusion that Trump will sanction military action against you if you have a mustache. That is the only common denominator here. Maduro, Solemani, Khamenei, the Queen of Denmark, you name it.
[+8] u/Nervous-Basis-1707: I feel like Kylo Ren yelling “more” whenever I see SPY drop 30 cents. Free me from these puts and my life is yours Donald
[+8] u/Threebridges2: FUCK it’s crashing SELL SELL SELL
[+8] u/Chance-Albatross7809: dump for ants. boooring. move more either way this shit is putting me to sleep.
[+8] u/MaltyWingos45: Literally fucking nothing about recent news would signal green candles. Israel broke the ceasefire immediately and Iran called out the US for the same goddamn lies they've been peddling since the start. Hormuz is closed completely again and we are for sure watching crude slam up over the next month.
With that said... believe it or not, calls.
[+8] u/jijitalk: Anthropic: “Our new model is so strong that it can detect day 0 vulnerabilities in softwares and automatically fix it.”
Bitch STFU you had a chunk of your code base leaked by Claude himself.
[+8] u/Andthesuch: This shit is boring and dumb
[+8] u/No_Relief_8705: No Mr. Stock Market, I expect you to die
[+8] u/markandersonfb: im too much of a pussy to play this game
[+8] u/davidbigham: Top 3 worst stock :
1. MSFT
2. MSFT
3. MSFT
[+8] u/Grey-59throwaway: Notice how it's actually coherent in here when we're flat and it's not just a bunch of regarded bols spamming
[+7] u/Rock_Flaccid: Cant wait to watch it pinned at 675 for the next 7 hours
[+7] u/Chance-Albatross7809: holy shit can we just get back to normal? obviously shits about to blow up again cause this shit aint moving like everything is back to normal. US Bombs incoming
[+7] u/HonestScar7176: Have no idea how SPY is hanging on right now. Everything that funds it is down lol.
[+7] u/jay4281: Oil ripping.. SPY: “*light work no reaction*”
[+7] u/coronagetcha: All my tech getting annihilated. What's the news?
[+7] u/7fingersDeep: wen were u wen tessler die?
I was on ribinhood eating schmegma butter when Pjelon call.
Tessler is kil.
No.
[+7] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: Boy I sure do love when we dump off the same news we pumped on the other day!!!!
[+7] u/dontlikeyacutG: market feels like somone's got a dollar on a fishing line and they keep yanking it the second i go to grab it
[+7] u/davidbigham: Maybe MSFT is an Airline company the whole time.
[+7] u/swagmans69: So this is what cock and ball torture feels like…
[+7] u/Beelzebussin: I think the last few weeks broke my brain tbh
[+7] u/Haunting-Cry7752: Buying a put for Monday so your calls are safe
[+7] u/Czyzzle: The fuckin' Strait of fuckin' Hormuz remains fuckin' closed. Buy oil while you can afford it you crazy bastards.
[+7] u/cat_herder4: Bulls think a short squeeze on a fake ceasefire will rocket us to ath. The road up and down isn't straight and this is far from over.
[+7] u/Lapidated_Llama: Oil back to ATHs by tommorow. 🥭 has no idea what he’s doing.
[+7] u/potato111a: MARKET HAVING A DIARRHEA MOMENT AFTER HAVING TOO MANY TACOS LMAO 🤌
[+7] u/ResponsibleValue7745: “Looking forward, actually, to its next conquest. America is back!”
Can’t believe this is real life
[+7] u/Unique_username93_: Explain to me like I’m an idiot because I am: how is the market still up
[+7] u/Philthatman: SPY, volume for microbes
[+7] u/Perfectly_Splendid89: Spy is so crazy with 10 cents swings. She should slow down.
[+7] u/Reply_Stunning: something extraordinarily homosexual is about to happen, slowly over the weekend
[+7] u/FinePerformance1046: MSFT probably gonna jump 10% when it beats earnings after retail gives up on it LOL
[+7] u/KYEEZY98: No news today as Trump is busy watching the Masters
[+7] u/Inc0gnit0X: Okay..I give up..selling my puts
[+6] u/blockchainkitty: If they pump it, short it. If they dump it, go long.
You know the drill.
[+6] u/LordCorgi: I believe the fiscal term would be a cheesy double decker gordita crunch.
[+6] u/Any_Refrigerator2330: META, META, META, META
[+6] u/Happy-Champion1661: MSFT drilling for oil, good thing I bought some AMZN
time to sell it, it was very good play riding it from 200 to 225 with leaps
[+6] u/According_To_Me_: Theta days are so ass
[+6] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Oil up so that means naturally SPY must go up
[+6] u/wasifaiboply: Easiest fucking short of all time. lmfao 🐂s never learn.
[+6] u/BobsBurners420: I truly love how fast the market reacts to fake news and how slowly it reacts to reality
[+6] u/Ok_Abbreviations8440: Seeing INTC at $60 is blowing my mind
[+6] u/kingRegard7: Buy puts. Let fear drive it down. When bogleheads forum starts freaking out, then sell the puts and wait for TACO news. Rinse and repeat.
[+6] u/Tirikemen: My brothers in degeneracy, oil is not always correlated to equities. Sometimes they move together, sometimes they move against each other. Stop thinking that if oil goes up/down, the indices must follow, especially when oil paper markets are this volatile.
[+6] u/darth_scion: I have higher volume on my TV
[+6] u/mrscrewup: What’s propping up SPY? It’s a massacre
[+6] u/avotoyesaru: Lol strait is effectively closed. Puts it is next week https://www.ishormuzopenyet.com/
[+6] u/Wonderful-Smoke843: Bibi said fuck your ceasefire lol
[+6] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: Bro just yammering his life story on this teams call for work, dog idc my calls are burning right now
[+6] u/f0xinaround: I know for a fact as soon as I sell my spy calls, it will go up.
[+6] u/SimpleIllustrator215: is strait of hormuz personally obliterating the software sector?
[+6] u/Inc0gnit0X: Its blowing back to 675...fuck im holding my puts
[+6] u/AprilsSecretAccount: Sold 2 premium baseball tickets on SeatGeek, took the money and bought 10 USO for fun (always wanted to own oil). Already made $3 on it. Landman!
[+6] u/are_videos: if you bought $1000 of MSFT in nov 2023 you would have $1000 right now
[+6] u/QuarkTheFerengi: why does it take jp morgan saying something for people to realize tsla is a shit company
[+6] u/Ravenous-Hydrant: Dang everything is red but SPY is still flat wtf 😂
[+6] u/Weak_Ostrich459: -sees market tumbling
-"what did he say now..."
[+6] u/Successful_Doubt8632: >None of these people, including our own, very disappointing, NATO, understood anything unless they have pressure placed upon them!!!
The latest Truth. I think he is actively having a stroke
[+6] u/Starkfault: Save me Obiwan Jeromi, you’re my only hope
[+6] u/celebratorycremation: [https://hormuzstraitmonitor.com/](https://hormuzstraitmonitor.com/)
5% of normal traffic
[+6] u/Neat-Ambition-2977: Feels good to be an oil man, honest work
[+6] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: This market feels like a handful of bees
[+6] u/TheDudeAbidesFarOut: Hormuz Straits
🎶 Oil fer Nothin' and the missiles er free 🎶
[+6] u/Shoganai_Hito: SPY holding on for dear life. Go down already
[+6] u/Europeanroadbycar: So that was the plan, oil loosing 15% yesterday and going back this level today than before the ceasefire... Amazing time wasting.
[+6] u/No_Clue_3225: grandma would be so proud for intc kid
[+6] u/IWishIwasAwhale1: i guess its a sideways day
[+6] u/Jagged_Tide: One must imagine SPY happy
[+6] u/nycitties: I guess its one of those days where you stay out
[+6] u/achuchable: Oh wow another absolutely regarded sell off of software stocks, great!
[+6] u/Disc0Disc0Disc0: Market still waiting to see if the ceasefire is fake fake or just fake.
[+6] u/duch350: Theta gang thanks everyone for their donations
[+6] u/Bizonistic: IV dropping back to <20% is so boring. I want 1% swing every day
[+6] u/Phandomtrigger: A sloth would be a good trader on a day like this
[+6] u/shindiggaa: 0DTEs are cheap today.
[+6] u/orbisbad: when will the market wake up to this obviously fake ceasefire
[+6] u/Beneficial-Sail-6139: WTI is almost $103 and SOXL is $70; please explain this fuckin market to me
[+6] u/Level_Counter3062: Bulls can't hit 700 with a professional algo pumper in chief, bears can't hit 600 with war looming, strait closed, and oil spiking to record levels. This is hell
[+6] u/artandambition: It’s pretty funny how scheduled news does nothing to move markets anymore. Nothing more powerful than a truth social post I guess.
[+6] u/Spiritual_Taste_1253: I would love to get in on SNDK, if the premiums weren’t 9 million dollars
[+6] u/A55BAG: Palantards coping hard now that PLTR is trading like just another software stock.
[+6] u/SerialStrategist: Burn SPY to the ground! (so I can buy back in cheaper).
[+6] u/ilikemgs: God fidelity is annoying sometimes.
Random ass account restrictions even tho I have enough to pattern day trade, limiting entering 0dte at 1pm est??
Fuck you there’s still so much movement left to happen??
I think I gotta move.
[+6] u/Due-Refrigerator2306: mango could post about sharpies and autopens and algos would pump it in seconds regardless lmao
[+6] u/Affectionate-Idea690: fuk the noise this shit will rise
[+5] u/Truck-Conscious: GUYS PANIC SELL SELL SELL SELL
[+5] u/pussinbuuts: ALL SOFTWARE STOCKS SHOULD BE DELISTED WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
[+5] u/hermeskino715: Whoever came up with the term "palantards" deserves a FIFA peace prize, the highest of honors
[+5] u/Full_Cash6140: LOL, degens chasing TSLA calls just got annihilated as expected. Why don't you clowns buy real stocks?
[+5] u/Historical_Hunt2492: she a 10 but wont open HARMOUZ
[+5] u/fomoandyoloandnogrow: Still no ceasefire. Why are mods so gey?
[+5] u/ToonamiNights: The last explosion you saw in the S&P (saw from a guy on Twitter, take it with a grain of salt) spiked above the 50 day and 200 day avg at the same time. This has only happened 4 times in stock market history.
What proceeded after was a 10-15% slow bleed for the next few months. Which is technically what this admin wants, because it will cause a CPI cooling effect. Which will give the Fed an excuse to cut interest rates, and bail out AI capital.
The bond market may or may not be your best friend until September (if you're a holder, not a regard).
[+5] u/AlphaStreet_LN: Another great day for my $MSFT and $ADBE heavy port 🤡
[+5] u/jackpearson2788: This market is more delusional than a nyc 6
[+5] u/MaryJane3010: Just sold for a little profit, everything should go up now
[+5] u/Interesting-Iron2587: SNDK upgraded and mooning
[+5] u/bigchodeenergyy: Sideways and range bound today with a good chance of a dump. Nobody moving until tomorrow
[+5] u/Lost_Jellyfish_3574: If it wasn’t for Israel I’d be rich
[+5] u/Fine-Will: I can't believe Woodrow Wilson did this to us.
[+5] u/jeffynihao: Big A reporting memory prices crashing in China. OpenAI cutting spending in half.
OpenAI is not on the hook for the monopoly money he promised
The bubble is bubbling.
[+5] u/Beelzebussin: The one time I dont have puts on PLTR lmao
[+5] u/Due-Refrigerator2306: gotta give it to bols. if it's one thing, they never give up
[+5] u/Okami_The_Sun: Seems like bolls forgot that USO hitched a ride on the Artemis 2 before liftoff
[+5] u/Sad-Substance8684: Recession is bullish. Don’t let them textbooks fool you!
[+5] u/zeusbox: Man I miss when JP was moving the market than some random ass tweet from erratic leaders.
[+5] u/Admirable_Heart_271: Theta cuck day today. Only wildcard is Orange
[+5] u/JPenniman: TSLA just needs to go down another 90% more for it to be a buy
[+5] u/Wrath_FMA: That was an obvious drop
[+5] u/Chlo-Motion: PLTR -7.6%, the stock needs bloodshed to pump
[+5] u/PJonathan24: just buy oil stocks through earnings
[+5] u/klippklar: Bols keep taking Viagra thinking it will cure their erectile dysfunction.
[+5] u/Admirable_Heart_271: Oil up and spy thetacucking
[+5] u/ithastogoupfromhere: I guess ground invasion at the weekend and oil peek to $130
[+5] u/absolutxtr: Did she open naturally yet !?
[+5] u/Own_Army7447: Oil calls have been the play since Iran closed Hormuz, because it is an historically significant event.
The TACO ceasefire should be the absolute bottom for non-insiders and people who were skeptical about the US actually warring with Iran.
This war gives legit TACO power until the end of his term because he can flip flop with impunity now and the markets will have to react. Israel is all bought in to gaining territory and the US has no way out short of complete surrender.
[+5] u/emr1028: So the market is realizing that there is no ceasefire, huh
[+5] u/cats_are_gay_ama: Holding onto my Palantir calls and letting them expire worthless. It's about the message of course a peasant like you wouldn't understand.
[+24] u/Poptart_Salad: TRUMP ASKED NETANYAHU TO REDUCE BOMBING IN LEBANON TO AID SUCCESSFUL IRAN NEGOTIATIONS, ACCORDING TO NBC REPORTS.
I literally opened a fresh oil position 30 seconds before this came out lmao.
[+21] u/TrickyDickCheney: We get big spikes on bullshit but never drills on real shit. Just amazing to watch.
[+19] u/Scalpaholic: How the Call prob went:
🥭: Hey can you bomb a little less? I'm trying to end this thing.
🐝 🐝: I agree I'm trying to end this thing too, so will bomb more. Cucksayswut.
🥭: Wut?
🐝 🐝: Nothing, ancient saying. *hangs up*
And that's why SPY is up. Thank you for attending my TED talk.
[+19] u/concerndative: This is absolute bullshit market is printing after the same news over and over. I refuse to paper hand my puts but it’s burning me hard week after week. Straight up manipulation.
[+19] u/R3dFiveStandingBye: Don’t worry it’ll crash when you sell your puts
[+17] u/4sKompany: Spy up .01% and bulls doing knee slides like they won the cup 🏆
😂🤣
[+17] u/AussieJeffProbst: Oil mooning but spy also going up. Make it make sense
[+16] u/ThatGuyFromTheM0vie: Market is no longer a market lmao. We joke constantly about it being a casino, but Jesus H. Christ we are in full casino mode now lmao. Shit is unhinged from reality. A tac nuke could go off, and SPY would soar.
[+16] u/CDov: OIL UP
ECONOMIC DATA BAD
ECONOMIC ANXIETY HIGH
WAR ON, CEASE-FIRE SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP
SPY ROCKETSHIP.
[+16] u/jaboyles: Straight re opens: +3%
Straight closes AND GDP growth terrible: -0.1%
IT DONT MAKE NO SENSE.
[+16] u/Senpai_Slime: Gentlemen if this does not collapse by friday i am out 35000$
[+16] u/TrickyDickCheney: That spike was because Israel announced they’re going to negotiate with the Lebanese government. The Lebanese government has consistently worried more about Hezbollah than the genocidal fascist neighbor invading them. Negotiations without the party actually doing the fighting will not lead to anything but a good enough reason to make the market jump apparently.
[+15] u/Soffatjockis: Everyone wondering wtf is going on?
Well let me tell you, regards.... I also have no clue.
[+15] u/PopularCut4124: Market pumped twice on two different outlets printing the same non story lol this shit is rigged and not even worth following anymore
[+15] u/Awake_Beast616: Oil has erased half of the fake "ceasefire" selloff
Stonks not moving at all
[+15] u/Creative-Package6213: I'm so fucking done with this rigged ass market...
[+14] u/concerndative: So we pump on bullshit news, turns out to not be true but we stay flat, now if the SAME news comes out again we pump again !? I’m gonna lose my ass on puts because of this blatant manipulation
[+14] u/weewoowewoooo: I guess rising oil prices is actually good for the market now lmfaoooooo
[+14] u/larssonyoo: i just bought puts a minute ago, are you fk serious
[+14] u/mtol115: Big yahu ordered mossad to kill my puts
[+14] u/SolidAndEdgy: https://preview.redd.it/stp11wwlr6ug1.jpeg?width=1320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e0f0eade916da9f675e5040290aed61c504d2c41
[+14] u/i_goon_to_tomboys___: 15 minutes since the mysterious insane pump
and still none's got a clue why lmao
[+13] u/bigbluesongbird: BREAKING: Strait of Hormuz gone. Entire strait vanished.
[+13] u/Competitive_Lion_379: https://preview.redd.it/q9sdhmr9i6ug1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f730b42e9e7f890b3e7b4a3ed0694eb618936196
[+13] u/SurpriseEfficient444: I’m a bear and I’m crying
[+13] u/PenaltyDistinct2632: Fraudulent market going brrr holy fuck
[+13] u/Liquidtears: The fuck is BlackBerry doing up 11%? What have they reinvented the wheel?
[+13] u/LoveNewton_Nibbler: i hate that the "buy indexes and forget - always" ppl are right
[+12] u/VeryMercurial: USO at March 30 levels
SPY on March 30: 632
🤡 market
[+12] u/Thin_Response_2689: Literally the worst thing possible is happening and SPY won’t go down LMAO
[+12] u/Gristle__McThornbody: Bibi is a baaaaaaad dude.
[+12] u/natures3: Holy shit. I’ve never been more pessimistic about a market.
[+12] u/preciousfruit: Starting to think a dildo would have been cheaper for fucking myself than options.
[+12] u/HolographicHeart: BREAKING: Billionaire circlejerk continues to win
[+12] u/Forward-Ad5608: thank god for🥭he has truly deomcratized trading. To be an oil trader you used to need a whole operation to track shipments, inventories, demand. Now you can just guess what that stupid orange pedo is going to do next, which anyone can do.
[+11] u/johns2289: *Oil at a million dollars a drop*
SPY: best I can do is ath
[+11] u/gulaskek: The only way to trade this market is to gamble or have insider info
[+11] u/SniXSniPe: BERS LOL
Sry just practicing
[+11] u/Upstairs_Deal3108: I dont trust this pump, wti ticking back up
[+11] u/MaxVerstudpen: Holy shit they agreed to a 100 year ceasefire
[+11] u/PocaMadre69: “Peace talks going well” from bibi
So we’re right back to where we were on ceasefire day, but we’ve pumped two or three times off the same news
[+11] u/LVL1NPC-JK: My wife’s bf is going to be mad I bought puts
[+11] u/PositiveEdge4361: Dogs are so loyal they’ll just sit outside your bathroom door waiting for you while you drop a nuke down the commode
[+10] u/YachtOrNothing: Honestly one headline away from -3% day.
[+10] u/weewoowewoooo: This movement is unhinged lmfao. Who actually wants to invest in this dog shit manipulated market
[+10] u/pinkerton_gov: Oil doubling and staying there is apparently priced in for a -2%ATH on indexes
[+10] u/GoogleKushforLunch: Spy going green today might not end green but she going green at least one time today
[+10] u/PocaMadre69: There’s always some fucking headline
You thought red days were allowed??
We’ve rallied 7% in two days, and you thought we were allowed to pullback???
Fuck you and your logic
[+10] u/Practical_Fix_7214: What news just came out?
[+10] u/mtol115: NBC saying that Trump called netenyahu yesterday to scale back the attacks on Lebanon to support the talks
[+10] u/Ghost_nut: Trend down for 6 months, re gain all lost gains in 1 week
[+10] u/LengthObjective2253: Totally cool. Totally legal
[+10] u/derprondo: I dunno who needs to hear this, but you can't get greedy in this roo ass market. You have profits, fucking take 'em.
[+10] u/fire_alarmist: There is simply no war in Ba Sing Se , but we have a ceasefire on the war in Ba Sing Se so pump the market, even tho the ceasefire lasted about thirty mins before it was broken. This is all extremely bullish because there simply is no war but if there was there is a ceasefire.
[+10] u/ebitdasga: VIX going below 20 with oil at $100? Barron must have calls
[+9] u/KachThebest69: 0dte degens getting shafted again
[+9] u/TrumpsCummyOnahole: I have an extremely tiny penis which means SPY pump soon
[+9] u/ryu311: UGH. IM HAVING GAY BER THOUGHTS
[+9] u/Ok_Side_2564: Algos painting stupid patterns disconnected from reality
[+9] u/ChampionshipOdd947: lol one of the most honest headlines I've seen yet from CNBC: "S&P 500 trades into the green despite $100 oil and a fragile Iran ceasefire"
[+9] u/baadllama_ghost: Ceasefire status: Broken ❌
Hormuz status: Pool's closed ❌
Stock Market: "I SAID we goin UP" ✅
[+9] u/Powerful_Mission_655: Holy shet did the second ceasefire get annouced
[+9] u/dataCollector42069: Sir, a second green dildo hit the put buyers
[+9] u/ChampionshipOdd947: ~~Bullish~~ Bullshit
[+9] u/Liquidtears: It’s all just nonsense.
[+9] u/Loperenco: PLEASE STOP IM TIRED OF WINING
[+9] u/BoomerSharkBoy: The pump is giving me jitters. For this, I’M OUT for now
[+9] u/Key-Jaguar7630: This market can't be real man
[+9] u/i_goon_to_tomboys___: is it just one guy moaning about MSFT every other minute for the past week
or do we REALLY have that many MSFT bagholders in here
[+9] u/shoesshirt: I’ve lost over $2000 and so many potential gains. I’m quitting now
[+9] u/VaIentineX: im a perma bear but fuck this market. its always calls
[+9] u/ShittyUsernane1222: I guess stock market is inverse of economy and fundamentals.
this time is different.
the market will never collapse in our lifetimes.
there will be no such thing as market crash.
full port calls.
[+9] u/Erevoss: I’ve got a suspicion that as soon as everything gets better with the war, THEN the market will tank.
[+9] u/PretendAgency2702: Isreal: Fuck Lebanon those stupid pieces of shit
Market: goes up 0.2%
[+9] u/_LakeCity_: BREAKING NEWS: There are no new updates at this time.
[+9] u/TemporaryMushroom850: I've come to the conclusion that this is all a simulation and that the markets exist only to fuck me over no matter the position.
[+8] u/Key-Jaguar7630: Propped up by thoughts and prayers
[+8] u/bearhunter429: #SPY = -0.15%
#Every stock: crashing hard LMAO🤌
[+8] u/Taiyoken: So you're telling me oil can go to $200/barrel and SPY will be at $670?
[+8] u/mackey88: I predict:
4:30pm - Negotiations delayed due to closed strait. Market crash after hours.
9:30am -Market opens deep red.
10:00am - Negotiations back on- SPY to $700 into the weekend.
[+8] u/Shah_Zam: I need spy down 3-5% by tomorrow. Thanks.
[+8] u/GreatRegard: We are back to negotiations going well phase
+1% per piece
[+8] u/Creative-Package6213: Oh fun so we moon for no fucking reason now. Well that's about the 5th time I've blown up my account now.
[+8] u/SearchUsual5193: My skill as an investor to find great businesses is basically useless in this environment.
[+8] u/analgape4206969: Welp timw to wait until eod for my puts to come back
[+8] u/deevee12: Bibi got the call from 🥭 LMAO
[+8] u/shxwn: I now understand which civilisation Drumpf was referring to
[+8] u/Ihateporn2020: is israel actually going to back off?
[+8] u/ratbaby86: bb just saying sh1t now while still bombing beirut to make dump happy
[+8] u/Capt_Chickenpox: That's it i'm switching to calls
[+8] u/Dongkey_kong: Israel won’t stop bombing. If you think they will hold longer than it takes to refuel their bombers - you’re retarded. Calls it is
[+8] u/grimandnordic1: We've had one ceasefire yes, but what about second ceasefire? 🥓
[+8] u/ratbaby86: German Chancellor Fredrich Merz says he has told Trump that following the ceasefire deal, Germany would to contribute to securing the Strait of Hormuz within an international mandate.
[+8] u/No_Cod972: Don't operate on fear.
Operate on pure regarded hopium.
You will go far.
[+8] u/Unemployable1593: is it sad that i come here for the headlines
[+8] u/Phoe1914: It's more than that due to compounding. In 10 years it's 34% vs 21.9% and that 1% only gets worse as years go by.
[+8] u/shmito17: Most stocks getting hammered today but SPY casually theta lol
[+8] u/N3XUSBLAZ3R: What kind of dump and cuck shit was that?
[+7] u/Rude_Assistance_4386: Oil down $1 in like 3 mins lol. Was there a tweet?
[+7] u/SlfImpr: Middle East crisis back (was never resolved). Oil still around $100/barrel
**Markets**: Meh, I no longer give a fuq!
[+7] u/Taiyoken: All this time I was shorting SPY and QQQ, I could have been shorting MSFT. +60% already
[+7] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: The last oil ships that made it through Hormuz before the war, are about to arrive in the US in the next several days.
Then we got no more oil from the gulf.
People probably didn't realize that we were still getting gulf oil all this time. These ships take 5-7weeks to get to the US, depending on the port.
So we haven't even felt the full effect yet.
[+7] u/PopularCut4124: Love how the markets think dying dementia patients are reliable still
[+7] u/PocaMadre69: 7% straight up in two days. Nothing has changed. Crazy
[+7] u/virtual_billionaire: What the actual fuck, this shit is so corrupt
[+7] u/wafflepiezz: The most regarded stock on the market has to be $SNDK
[+7] u/jerome-yellen: Representative Josh Gottheimer just filed a purchase of up to $1,000,000 of Microsoft call options.
They have a strike price of $320 and expire on June 18th.
[+7] u/Money-Will-1867: Are we going to see a red day ever again lol
[+7] u/Taiyoken: Let me guess, oil will spike back up today but SPY will not move
[+7] u/coalmine543: I'm sure if I change to being a bull the market crashes
[+7] u/UnknownM007: Not a single candle with over 1m volume. Fucking fantastic
[+7] u/svpa3991: Back to bad news is good and good news is excellent
[+7] u/YachtOrNothing: Im being slaughtered today. How little i understand the economy / stock market relationship
[+6] u/chuastan: Why no tweet “BIBi u have 48 hours to get your fuckin act together, or u will face a force so huge, dinos will be fuckin your ass”
[+6] u/ArkAngelEV: they will never let you poors get rich.
if everyones rich, who would do anything?
[+6] u/WingedScapula420: Tweet based algo economy
[+6] u/Gweeds95: Bulls getting too confident. Time to short
[+6] u/Col_Treize69: Oil line is going up, and line go up is good, so SPY go up, yes? The more green all lines are, the more gooder everything!
[+6] u/Pinkerino_Ace: How is the entire market green like my hat and MSFT is still red?
[+6] u/i_goon_to_tomboys___: im tired boss
i miss sleepy biden, when NOTHING EVER HAPPENED
[+6] u/YouDontKnowDino: It is pretty crazy that you can bomb the targets you want and then say actually I don’t want to do fight anymore lmao
[+6] u/ShittyUsernane1222: algo trading pre-🥭: advanced math, stochastic calculus and large datasets
algo trading during 🥭 era: 🥭 sentiment tracker
[+6] u/Low_Programmer1814: I pledge never to buy puts in this stupid market.
[+6] u/TrickyDickCheney: Looks like we’re going to have another day where oil is up 5% with the indices green too
[+6] u/ATXPibble: Who the fuck is buying rn
[+6] u/donkeybray: The dump is not scheduled yet until they're done positioning themselves.
[+6] u/Flat-Resolution905: just like that we pump up for no reason? hello?
[+6] u/Metrostation984: The political world really is in their mask-off era. Really not sure what to make of it gambling wise.
[+6] u/Ninja_Cooter: NFLX hopped on Artemis
[+6] u/LVL1NPC-JK: Don’t worry bols I’ll take this one for yall and buy puts
[+6] u/drbigtoe: I shrimply do not have the nads to hold SPX for more than 30 seconds
[+6] u/Pretend_Total5864: It’s over. Never going below 677 again. Every dip is bought instantly
[+6] u/Bin_Jin: CRM and MSFT fighting see who will make more traders homeless
[+6] u/pandadrizzle: More official lies scheduled for this evening.
[+5] u/xShiftfaced: Volume is completely dead.
[+5] u/thefrozen_one: Noo Mr. MM stop, I can’t buy anymore puts my broker won’t let me
[+5] u/Lonely-Relation-7364: SPY doesn’t give a fk about war.
[+5] u/nccheesehead12: Have you all learned nothing?? Oh wait ... me either ... devil dick incoming
[+5] u/bemeda: Fine, I'll go sit outside and stare at numbers
[+5] u/iridicpeony: theta day, time to nap
[+5] u/justlosinmoney: Alright I’ll go fuck myself as per usual
[+5] u/deadflagblue: Incredible retard strength 💪
[+5] u/Cantthinkofacoolnam: TSLA going to zero.
It is over.
[+18] u/singlebud: Israeli official: Israel has no high expectations for the success of negotiations with Lebanon - Israel's Channel 12.
They don’t want a ceasefire Jesus this market is so fucking stupid
[+17] u/horseisahorse: >Just after the announcement, sirens sounded across northern Israel. Hezbollah launched rockets over the border - Fox News.
[12:22 PM · Apr 9, 2026](https://x.com/financialjuice/status/2042277002174996856)
>Israeli official: Israel has no high expectations for the success of negotiations with Lebanon - Israel's Channel 12.
[12:18 PM · Apr 9, 2026](https://x.com/financialjuice/status/2042276002470994302)
[+17] u/Nick_Gilberts_Bowtie: Meanwhile the strait is still closed lol
[+16] u/DeciduousMath12: Wsj says Israel presses attack on Lebanon.
Bloomberg says Israel has a ceasefire deal in Lebanon.
Stocks are up.
Cash it is! This market makes no sense and it doesn't even know what's happening.
[+16] u/BedRiddenWizard: The admin are the pedophiles 😂
[+15] u/GalacticNecterine: Lmao literally nothing has changed once again
[+15] u/CEO-of-SOXL: Now I know how Michael burry feels, being too early
[+15] u/Altruistic-Pin-3263: “….AXIOS cites source familiar with details”. Lovely here we go again with this shit. Any real news outlets reporting this?
[+14] u/GuyFieriFrostedTips: Yall called it. Puts made way too much sense in bizzaro market. Let’s pump for no reason as the ceasefire clearly falls apart…
[+14] u/ExodusPHX: This is the most retarded shit I’ve ever seen
[+14] u/SxeySteve: We're like 50bps away from prewar market levels. It's been nonstop horrible news for 6 weeks and we're fucking flat
[+14] u/PAYPAL_ME_10_DOLLARS: I just bought puts for next week wish me luck
[+14] u/cromwest: I just capitulated on spy puts and oil calls and switched to spy calls only.
I'll see you all in hell.
[+14] u/Namerflop: *Israel does not have high expectations for successful negotiations with Lebanon, says Israel's N12 News.*
you don't say
[+14] u/LasyKuuga: #ITS CALLS
#ITS ALWAYS CALLS
#FUCK REALITY
#ITS ALWAYS CALLS
[+14] u/Fine_Sock3874: ngl as a bull even i wasn't expecting 680
[+13] u/Diamondhands4dagainz: Lmfao this market is nuts, you get bombs etc. and violation of ceasefire and it stays flat. Then an article about peace talks with Lebanon Pumps it to oblivion. Like wtf hahhahaha
[+13] u/Weekly_One8412: The fed is even considering a rate hike... most illogical pump ever.
[+13] u/cashflow_: Some of you are the product of lack of access to prenatal care and it shows
[+13] u/king_of_all_retards: What happened that SPY is at 680?
Genuinely asking
[+13] u/EnigmaSpore: Stairs down for 5 weeks. Elevator up in 2 weeks.
We back. Vix is dead. No more oil futures liquidations.
Ath coming on the backs of big tech earnings
[+12] u/Dewton: I’m speechless at how stupid this pump is
[+12] u/whitepug: This will be the most hated rally of all time 😭
[+12] u/Lorne__Malvo__: Amazing how lately I can alter puts and calls and fucking whiff every fucking time fuck.
[+12] u/YourCautionaryTale: Tried to cosplay as a bull and bought calls at the top.
Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
[+12] u/ExodusPHX: <2% off ATHs the same week we’re threatening nukes
[+12] u/Who-else-could-i-be: Its going to drill to the core because I bought calls.
[+11] u/pineapplekiwipen: thankfully none of us are bearish here or that could've been a disaster whew
[+11] u/Kirko_Cousins: Amazing how everyone was focused on interest rates until war. Now we know the Fed won't cut, and market couldn't care less.
SPY 700 and then heat death of the market.
[+11] u/fuzzywuzzy123: I hope you regards are making money today because I sure isn't.
[+11] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: The number of bagholders created by this bear market rally is going to be generational. A whole new generation of kids will be born who have to take out massive amounts of student debt because their dad aped into the most fake rally of all time and couldn't pay their tuition only to be saddled with a job market where AI does most of the work.
[+11] u/LarsTarkas: Cpi tomorrow will be devastating and we will finally cross 700
[+11] u/Bioneer_Bete: 1st headline on CNBC: “The Strait of Hormuz is not open as Iran controls access after ceasefire”
2nd headline: “Stocks gain for a second day on hope Iran ceasefire can be sustained.”
Genuinely what the fuck are we even talking about anymore lol
[+11] u/bhaaaaaaa: new ceasefire who dis?
[+10] u/uwu_owo_whats_this: this is what i get for breaking my own rules and buying puts
[+10] u/TheMallard1: They accidentally opened the Gay of Hormuz
[+10] u/Objective_Back_2581: Study these words:
Ber anoos gap
[+10] u/cobalt4: Rapidly scrolling this chat to find a highly upvoted comment that explains what’s going on
[+10] u/dbd209: So disheartening to have missed literally every single life changing trade, dip, etc.
[+10] u/WSB-mods-are-: The billions Berkshire Hathaway made this week alone selling SPY puts to retail will keep their lights on for the next 20+ years
[+10] u/Inner_View1095: Nice set up for a -4% pull back tomorrow
[+10] u/coloredzebra: Shorting 680 is free money with CPI
[+10] u/Ok-Thought-9960: Fascinating that this market is legit pricing in a zero impact of this war
[+10] u/Ridged_ChiPSS: Told you mega dump starts now. Hope you cashed out those calls. Now we ride the wave down since this shit pumped for 0 reason
[+9] u/GoZukkYourself: Where did all the geopolitical experts go? I need someone to take my lunch order.
[+9] u/Shurlak: SPY +0.3 can someone please tell that to my port
[+9] u/Star_Lord924: I bought a 678 SPY call for fun for cheap this morning. It's up 250% 🫶
[+9] u/PugLove69: I woke up this morning a bear now I’m dead
[+9] u/grantern2: Ugh just like last year, I missed the great dip of April 2026. We’re going to see spy 1000 by December guaranteed.
[+9] u/Total_Schedule591: Gonna have kids so I can pass on the disappointment of no inheritance
[+9] u/brock2063: THEY CAN'T KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS
[+9] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: Lmao bers aren’t even shitposting anymore.
[+9] u/Agreeable_Language88: isnt it absurd how spy is a percent or two away from hitting all time highs?
[+9] u/WayDry848: The Strait of Hormuz remains effectively closed, per UAE oil chief.
Yeah, nobody cares, nerd
[+9] u/PugLove69: Lebanon is beautiful and I am Lebanese
[+9] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: In 2008 we had some of the most vicious rallies we've ever had. Bear markets are notable for such as the market rallies when people try to catch the bottom. Then it comes crashing down harder afterwards.
[+9] u/Tommiwithnoy: How is Israel seeking peace talks with Hezbollah now after bombing them like never seen before? lol, nothing makes sense anymore.
[+9] u/HowLongCanIMakeACock: We’re in the end times rn, dudes are falling for AI onlyfans girls and simping for them 💀
[+9] u/Ok-Thought-9960: Ahhhh I get it. Its going up because the pricing in of stagnating employment with projected negative employment, higher inflation, energy constraints, and dedollarization.
[+9] u/BigBattyFatty: Shrimp fried rice is so fucking good man
[+9] u/canwequitnow: My 665 SPY Puts expiring May 1 look like shit rn
[+9] u/FileMediocre8161: These zionists look for any excuse to grab more land from their neighbors, the hostilities won't stop
[+9] u/Memes_Jack: When Taco said "UNCONDITIONAL SURRENDER!", I didn't know he meant unconditional surrender to all Iranian demands lol.
[+9] u/Damerman: I don't know man, this pump is sus
[+8] u/buybananas: So another ceasefire another pump?! Lets do a ceasefire every day please
[+8] u/jokull1234: SPY is only 1% off pre-Iran war levels lol
[+8] u/Karl-Levin: Netanyahu talking with Lebanon doesn't mean he wants peace
Lebanon gov doesn't control Hezbollah. They are already a Israeli puppet regime.
Israelis are insisting on Hezbollah to disarm which is completely delulu. Especially after what they did yesterday.
[+8] u/TheMallard1: REMINDER: AI is actually Chinese kids typing back really fast
[+8] u/chibi78: When I started trading I didn’t know shit and I was buying calls and made money. At some point I thought I figured out how market works and I switched to puts and now I am losing money. Wish I never learned anything
[+8] u/Snoo23417: Had a 2 minute window earlier where I could've sold my puts for a small loss but I held on. Clever!
[+8] u/kodaksdad2020: Cleanest V bottom in 5 years. New ATH within weeks
[+8] u/jostradumass: the market is pumping after the breakdown of ceasefire negotiations between parties saying "trust me bro" back and forth to each other.
nothing positive has actually happened.
makes sense.
[+8] u/plznodownvotes: Weird how oil stocks continue crashing even with Oil back up to $100
[+8] u/OkLength37: Ah yes, the one time I buy a put, rockets up after I sold my call, starting to think the market really needs my $500 of liquidity more than I do
[+8] u/SDeft3: The amount of retardo 10k follower X accounts pumping out their dogshit AI slop app that adds negative value to humanity is at an all time high. So naturally calls it is
[+8] u/humanoideric: US: -kills everyone they wanted- OK, ready for the ceasefire
Israel: -kills everyone they wanted- OK, ready for the ceasefire
[+8] u/Thin_Cat8817: the idea that all companies are going to vibecode their own cybersecurity is the most regarded concept i've seen in a long time
[+7] u/longGERN: Only understood the word shit
[+7] u/AnyRepeat2561: Wtf is this fucking market dude
[+7] u/Metal-Water: I always add great trades to my watchlist but actually do the dumbest trades with real cash
[+7] u/Unh0lyCatf1sh: oil just broke $100 again, market huffing weapons grade copium
[+7] u/Slabbed1738: Imagine buying msft a month ago thinking it was a bargain lmao
[+7] u/kodaksdad2020: Denial
Anger (<= you are here)
Despair
Acceptance
[+7] u/Independent_Ad1086: real talk what's the news?
[+7] u/sanndman: IPO alert. Going straight to the S&P500 and S&P100. Strait of Hormuz stock, ticker, TACO. Expected Q2 earnings $40b. 2026 year revenue $69,420B.
[+7] u/GalacticNecterine: “Zeev Elkin, a member of Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu's security cabinet, said Israel would keep hitting Lebanon, though he signalled it would scale back during the peace talks.
He described Wednesday's huge attacks as a one-off, made possible because the ceasefire meant warplanes that would be flying sorties over Iran were available to hit Lebanon: "As long as this fragile ceasefire in Iran exists, we can use the entire might of our air force to badly hurt Hezbollah."
[+7] u/nickpufferfish: Bibi announces concept of ceasefire with Lebanon and spy pumps to 680 guh
[+7] u/Routine-Agent-160: Wow holy fuck, insane layoffs in dell. One email and that’s it.
[+7] u/All_FIREdUp: Just got a promotion over someone who has like 10+ years more experience than me all because I’m way more social and don’t bitch constantly 👋
[+7] u/2Hosslovescash: Today is the first market open day I’m not going to make a trade in 10 years.
[+7] u/TreeofLibertyFood: This market is like the unloved stray dog who will follow you home if you make even the quickest eye contact.
[+7] u/Total_Schedule591: Locking in $100k profit to buy Lululemon pants
[+7] u/ShockingSpark: I bought puts... Ur welcome
[+7] u/Ridged_ChiPSS: Nobody has jobs or money but we're building a lot of data centers so obviously ATH incoming 🤡🤡🤡
[+7] u/diunay_lomay_a: Not political - don't know shit about israel and dont really care. Do they simply like to attack countries for fun and fucking up shit because US will back whatever they do
[+7] u/poopieuser909: For a historical context, Israel constantly initiates attacks in the middle of negotiations
[+7] u/sushilee123: War is good for the market I heard
[+7] u/pineapplekiwipen: once all these regarded bears are bankrupt we can start thinking about puts
[+7] u/Diamondhands4dagainz: I think at this point if you didn’t buy when SPY was below 640, then it’s best to stay out and wait for another pullback. The market is in no fucks given mode. It just wants to go straight up, no bad news is gunna give red
[+7] u/TheFreshOne: Back to 675... daddy's waiting.
[+7] u/Ok_Product8015: Effectively no one cares
[+6] u/sanndman: Easy - uninstall outlook and keep working.
[+6] u/Luc-e: Need -1% mid next week thx
[+6] u/Star_Lord924: Please moisturize your hands ahead of time. Last time it was too dry
[+6] u/Typical-Layer-1253: War is over for USA bears. Just buy stocks
[+6] u/Klaus_Winchester: So hard not to fomo buy in
[+6] u/ManyManufacturer6090: Thought I was the shit for selling my calls at 676 😭
[+6] u/shit_ape_from_hell: so the algos are setup to buy on any negative post like "strait is still not open", because why not
[+6] u/COVIDtheDestroyer: The moment I switch from puts to calls this thing will crash to 600, I guarantee it
[+6] u/gainsusmaximus: Short it all,now today
[+6] u/InformationSad5653: So no dump after ceasefire is canceled
[+5] u/CEO-of-SOXL: There will never be a red day again apparently
[+20] u/barkwoofgrrr: We dropped more back in January when 🥭 was threatening to take over Greenland. Now there's a war significantly disrupting oil, fertilizer, and helium, AND 🥭 is threatening Greenland again and we're still almost at all time highs
[+20] u/Majestic-Eggplant639: lmao were pumping to ATHs on there being a possibility that one of several contentious points of the ceasefire framework could be resolved in the coming days, leaving the other minor points of uranium enrichment and tolling of the strait left to be resolved, which we already agreed to along with a 2 week pause, which will be used to negotiate a final deal after a 48 hour ultimatum to open the strait, which preceded the 1 week ultimatum and the 3 day ultimatum. All of this happening 6 weeks after mango said we'd be in a 2 week war, for which the original objective was said to be their nuclear weapons program, which was previously said 2 months prior to have been bombed into non-existence with successful bunker buster strikes. All this would be illegal if he called it a war, which he did, and explained that he cant use the word war because that would mean he bypassed congress, and a day after the admin gave a veiled threat to kill the pope for being critisized for saying we would end Iran as a civilization in less than 4 hours if they don't let us use their waterway.
Sounds like a fucking fever dream
[+17] u/hudson701: this market is fucking ridiculous - the earth could be melting and spy still be pumpin' CALLS EVERYTHING. It doesn't care about the war.
[+15] u/dudewhosbored: LOOOOL wtf is this market 😂 y’all know this doesn’t make any sense right? I could see a bounce to 6700 at most and that would’ve been insane without a definite conclusion to the war. This shit is gonna drop so fast when this conflict escalates again in a week or two 😂
[+15] u/GioSlayr: SPY is going to hit 700 and nothing at all will have changed about the war lmao
[+14] u/solidsneeze: Iran placing trades now before making their statement today
[+13] u/Cheeseheroplopcake: To quote Carl
"It don't matter. None of this matters"
The market is entirely detached from humanity. It is invincible. Algos will keep pumping $SPY after the last living human is dead
[+13] u/FrostingOk2692: BREAKING: Boots on the ground through a massive airdrop operations of actual boots made possible by a generous donation of Dr. Martens.
[+12] u/WatchyT: im going to bed. This is bullshit
[+12] u/bubbasnub: *gets in puts*
Market : FU pump it.
[+12] u/nesnayu: I’ve lost 30% shorting this shit. Do I just get out now and be poor or did i not hear no bell?
[+12] u/Interesting_Leg8859: # ber was like "boots on the ground, let me buy poots" only to get boots up their asses LMAOOO
[+12] u/UnivalveX: we literally might never see a red day again
[+11] u/SquidKid47: Woke up late and missed my oil calls being +50%. They're now -50% 🫠
[+11] u/Ok_Cry7572: That $300 to 300k option guy lost all his money on puts as he was holding puts for over two weeks now.
Bro was a college student as well😂😂
[+11] u/nesnayu: I tried a 🥭 at school today. I took a giant ginormous dump right in the middle of the classroom. About 30 minutes later, I picked up half of it and smeared the rest all over the floor. The class fucking cheered.
[+11] u/After-Violinist-7485: what is crazy is how quickly SPY could trend back down. All it would take is for news that ceasefire is off.
[+11] u/More_Advertising_383: SPY is 2.5% from ATH … totally rational lol
[+11] u/birdsaresnitches: BREAKING: Iran to rename Strait of Hormuz to Gays of Hormuz, Trump recalls all US troops and denies ever being involved, JD Vance booked direct flight - calls
[+11] u/FrostingOk2692: My cargo containers ship full of ornemental gourds is still blocked at the strait of hummus. I am ruined.
[+10] u/ajibtunes: Ugh, feeling overwhelmed by getting too many matches on tinder
[+10] u/No-Intention-8907: Is the S&p a meme stock?
[+10] u/MartianSpaceCat: War is bearish, but then it is bullish, until it isn't. Remember these wise words.
[+10] u/WonUpH: Bulls will be rug pulled and drafted on the same day, but what day
[+10] u/IAmTrumpsRecession: I bought Calls. Top is in.
[+9] u/Technical_Sea_5022: this market is ridiculous lmao. Takes 40mins to go down 1 dollar and 2 minutes to pump right back up
[+9] u/Treverer: Netanyahu: Instructs to start ceasefire negotiations with Lebanon
-> 10 minutes later
Katz („defense“ minister): Tells the media that „the war will not be stopped“
bruh
[+9] u/OrangMiskin: Can I get banned for saying Jews here
[+9] u/MagneticRetard: you ever buy puts and it instantly green dildos?
[+9] u/SadDevelopment3049: This is insane market manipulation.
[+9] u/Fineous40: This shit is exhausting. All of it. I am tempted to let my 2-3 monthers run and stop paying attention. Been trading almost 20 years now. It’s never been like this.
[+9] u/ChewbaccaIsBear: don´t worry about CPI, CPI won´t set the direction in any way no matter if it´s "good" or "bad", **CPI, will be the EXCUSE FOR ALGOS TO MOVE THE WAY THEY WANT**... you can spin CPI or anything really in either direction, they´re just an excuse for algos, not a cause of anything...
you could spin WW3 to be bullish, it´s a fugazi guys
[+9] u/twostroke1: Really 0 reason not to go all in on massive amounts of leverage in this market.
At most you are in the red for like 16 hours. At most.
It’s basically a guaranteed win.
[+9] u/Zeppu: The strait is closed, but your ass is wide open
[+9] u/goofy-boots: gdp and personal income both missed, but why would that matter
[+9] u/Dry_Philosophy6148: Maybe the crash was the friends we made along the way
[+9] u/Efficient-Macaroon66: Diabolical bol trap incoming
[+9] u/Automatic-Article747: this level of market manipulation is unreal
[+8] u/kananishino: Holy shit my puts are so fucked lol
[+8] u/Natarian86: It's higher than pre-war
[+8] u/rygypi: maybe doubling down on puts was unwise
[+8] u/Ok-Cut-6064: Friday is dump day right?
[+8] u/Erieztoys: We all did truly die during COVID and this simulation is for real...
[+8] u/hubblebubble7: I don’t agree with the level spy is at now 🤡
[+8] u/Extension_Source8263: Bears don’t need to worry, next 2 weeks puts will print again. We take this one on the chin, avg down where we can. I need brothers beside me in these trenches. Not cowards. We all know this makes no sense, logic will prevail my brothers. We ride at dawn, I need to see passion and courage. Oil, high. CPI, might be decent but they’ll prob say we are fucked. 8% gains in the last like 6 session, what do we think the stock market will double? No it’s obviously going to pull back, we lay in wait and strike when it’s appropriate. God speed gentleman. Thanks for your attention to this matter.
[+7] u/SvV_Ying: Bottom really was last week wednesday.
[+7] u/Zestyclose-Bit271: Dear bears, you’re about to figure out how Target reporting a 15% drop in consumer spending is actually good now
[+7] u/Tall-Candidate3755: I'LL STAY IRRATIONAL LONGER THAN I CAN STAY SOLVENT
[+7] u/Bright_Albatross649: may allah give us SPY 8,000
thank you for your attention to this matter.
[+7] u/Sawgambler: Fk your "bears thot" & "bull thot" I lsoe in every direction
[+7] u/TaoTeCha: I'm so fucking bad at this. I'm seriously switching to passive investing when we leave Iran.
[+7] u/PremiumFentanylGouda: Bers dont worry there is support for people like you
https://preview.redd.it/w41829lr47ug1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d5ddb43889615154c2b90011473c45f6a9977d58
[+7] u/KyleNoThumbs319: Bears will full port into luxury cardboard at the top and I can’t wait
[+7] u/Mindless_Rip_7050: We're getting close to my stop loss on the $30k worth of SPY puts I bought.
At $682 I'll be down about 15% on the 7/17 $670p position.
[+7] u/freelanceryork: I've heard toddlers make knock knock jokes that make more sense than this market
[+7] u/Sidney_Godsby: This administration can eat a bag of dicks
[+6] u/trothechemist: 3rd day in a row losing all my money on PUTS, thinking it’s time to PUT my phone down 😏
[+6] u/Playless: dont fight the trend, its a bull market now
[+6] u/Zestyclose-Bit271: GDP numbers showing free fall but they might stop shooting at each other for five seconds with all the oil infrastructure destroyed so let’s add 300 billion dollars in market value
[+6] u/boraboca: Anyone who thinks Hezbollah will agree to disarm is regarded
[+6] u/tristis_veritas: S&P now just 60 or so points from war starting. Market seems convinced Trump will fully abandon strait and deal with any fallout by pretending he won and a new distraction with his "next conquest".
Sounds about what we should expect in 2026.
[+6] u/Extension_Source8263: Who’s really buying with 100+ $ a barrel oil and shrinking GDP like 4% off ATH’s?
[+6] u/Crackbot420-69: I literally had just picked up my phone to close my short positions and this fucking thing shoved a green candle up my ass.
[+5] u/Beautiful_Proof586: MSFT is such a great stock
[+5] u/-Ophidian-: Dread it run from it Shrek's cock will still arrive
[+23] u/sal4you: Starting a war then stopping it. Thus creating the illusion (not reality) that things are better NOW than they were prior to the Iran thingy. And this is exactly what's happening.
[+15] u/PhysInstrumentalist: This is truly fucking insanity
[+15] u/followedbymeteor: Love when the market blows its load after mango proclaims he saved the world and made the best deal in the history of deals, and then proceeds to completely ignore reality after the proclamation and just keeps pumping
[+15] u/Joij21: Market is totally crap long term now. It just goes sideways. Only day trading mms who get tip offs (illegally) from 🥭 beforehand can turn a profit.
Fuck Warren Buffet, give me that guys soul.
[+15] u/PottedGantt: - CPI data comes out tomorrow,
- economy looks bad,
- market pumps anyways,
- bears will be in here crying about market manipulation
[+14] u/Amazing_Plankton744: USO is skyrocketing, but SPY won't skydive even though it's free to do that
[+13] u/99Fan: Put your hand up if you bought puts instead of calls when SPY was 630 🌈🐻
[+12] u/Big-Refrigerator1899: oil up, spy up, inflation fears, mortgages at 6%+, gas over 4 bucks....econ professors just punching the air right now, just cant teach mango manipulation
[+12] u/mmjI: Iran is not seeking war but it will not give up its rights, the country’s Supreme Leader Mojtaba Khamenei says in a statement read out on state TV.
This ain't stopping soon
[+12] u/Jdom666: i’ve had my fair share of ceasefires with women
[+11] u/darklordyy: if I’m not ITM in 4 days I’m joining hamas
[+11] u/Soft_Walrus_3605: Trump's going to say he's leaving NATO unless Denmark gives Greenland to the US
[+10] u/tastyfreeeze69: Ain’t no reason for this to be pumping
[+10] u/Provolone-Jones: Are tankers transiting the strait on flying carpets?
[+10] u/Party-Started: The straight literally isn't opened, and they clearly have no plans to open it. SPY up 4%
[+10] u/unwanted_hair: Breaking: Nobody gives a flying FUCK.
[+10] u/Practical_Corner8839: If you held a McChicken for the past 5 years you would’ve outperformed the S&P
[+10] u/Living-Giraffe4849: Sooooo yall remember that Sunny episode where the gang buys gas and stores it in barrels? They were right.
[+10] u/Character_Set3454: It takes you an hour to make 165$, it only takes me 60 minutes.
[+10] u/jonneh: Bro won't stop 😭
> **02:04 pm EST**
>
> Netanyahu: We are continuing to strike Hezbollah with force! There is no ceasefire in Lebanon!
[+10] u/JennaTulwartz: I work in commercial real estate and there are a lot of cracks showing that are hard to quantify, won’t show up in data right away, but are definitely present. Slower payments. “Our bank messed something up.” Major national chains suddenly wanting to audit years of recovery charges. More tenants suddenly going dark without warning.
[+9] u/Unlikely-Evening2919: you probably have puts, which is why its pumping
[+9] u/Embarrassed-Jump-212: Bears furiously pinching their man boobs to feel something.
[+9] u/PaxDev: Never buying puts again
[+9] u/FlattestPancake: Is it just me, but shouldn't there be restrictions on this headline market manipulation bullshit? Some stupid headline can just be put out with no basis in reality, and the market just pumps or dumps on it immediately. Then later another headline comes out saying the opposite and the market doesn't even give af. Maybe its just me coping.
[+9] u/Initial_Ad_9250: Them astronauts on the Artemis are missing out on such great 0dte plays mayne
[+9] u/TrumpChildOnahole: Poor people are insanely stupid, spy 900 eom
[+9] u/fatmummy222: Question. Would you buy a business that makes $120,000 a year for $500,000?
[+9] u/MrNo_Balls: IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK TO GET 100X ON MY PORT!!! I JUST WANT TO NOT BE POOR !!!!
[+9] u/isitdonethen: the talks "aim to disarm hezbollah." which won't happen. so this is just a continued ruse
[+8] u/nimoronic: Converting from bear to bull. I swear if it goes tits up, there’s just a higher being dedicated to fucking me.
[+8] u/xmilklizardx: Israel gets wiped out and we shoot to SPY 700
[+8] u/PainterHot: Don’t care, I’ll keep adding puts a month out on every bump.
[+8] u/PaxDev: So much euphoria in here
[+7] u/Key_Abroad7633: this market is on crack
[+7] u/OkAlternative7705: Russel 2-3% off its ATH
[+7] u/Bittygirl707: The Vix is dying - Place your Bets
[+7] u/sal4you: They just should have bombed Tehran with 20 million dildo's.
That would have done it.
[+6] u/_Fibbles_: The lack of market reaction to there still being no oil going through the strait is shifting me from memes to genuine concern. Not even a perma bear and actually mostly cash rn but there's surely only so long the market can remain divorced from reality.
[+6] u/WeenieWang_: # Bers checking their local gov website for financial aid options and it shows LMFAOOOO
[+6] u/OkAlternative7705: Bears dumb, I realized it last year myself but this market can never go down. We have built a system where every dollar earned by people goes to their 401k stocks. Those guys never sell and just buy every month. Money comes in and Fed prints more to put it in.
Now use your tiny brains to think what goes out? You really think hedge funds will sell to any news if they know Fed and 401k will just pump this back to ATH? Fundamentals don’t matter at all, we are playing their game. NBIS currently has a PE of 1200, and so do many other stocks right now. It doesn’t matter. Don’t use your brains, we had a whole ass war, oil spike and market never even entered a correction. Markets are no longer what they use to be. They are not based on fundamentals or companies success, it’s all a game. It’s all fake. The HAT PEOPLE are here to get you. You are playing their game, with them. It’s not real. Nothing is. You need to wake up.
[+6] u/Aggressive_Bit_91: So cpi is priced in too right?
[+24] u/tommyboy441: It's like not even a meme anymore that anytime I buy puts the market pumps on complete retardium
[+23] u/Gorm_the_Old: Headline: (Nation) agrees to ceasefire with (Other Nation)
Markets: Yes! War is really over! Bid up all the things!
Headline: (Nation) says actually nope, no ceasefire
Markets: Eh, what do they know. Keep bidding up the things!
[+20] u/madeenahjyasu: SPY GOING DOWN IS ANTISEMITISM 🗣️
[+19] u/sailortyx56: Tomorrow is the last oil shipment Europe gets from Strait of Hormuz.
Next one comes in middle/end of May.
Lol
[+18] u/aa73gc: Bad news? Pump it
Worse news? Pump it
Good news? You better believe we are pumping it
[+16] u/A10cc: These broccoli haired retards have the reading comprehension of a toddler. Puts on the future of the world LOL.
[+16] u/XorAndNot: This gambling thing kinda hard huh
[+16] u/Aggressive-Ad-2707: Market goes up when oil goes down. It also goes up when oil goes up. So when tf does it go down?
[+15] u/SenileOldDude: WHEN WILL MY DEPRESSION GO AWAY FOR LOSING 200K IN A SINGLE TRADE. FUCKKKKKKKKKK
[+14] u/CursedClownz: This market is a scam nothing will correct it just buy and get rich never short a ponzi
[+14] u/Candid_Analyst_9040: Ceasefire as good as dead ✅
New tariffs on China ✅
New threats on Greenland ✅
Straight still closed ✅
Tolls on any ships coming through the straight ✅
Market 📈
[+13] u/BooBrew32: Thinking of getting the broccoli cut so I look like a fucking idiot to the world.
[+13] u/zuziannka: Bought 5 SPY 585 Calls expiring Monday and I am going to sleep now
[+13] u/SeliciousSedicious: So I asked a girl out by telling her about my gains and making some gay bear jokes and she told me, get this, ‘that I’m a fucking weirdo and to never talk to her again’
What does this mean?
[+13] u/Tautol0gic: Almost bought oil right before it dumped, thankfully, instead, I decided to short it at the bottom :)
[+13] u/Eddyrancid: Its kind of wild seeing Israel unable to restrain its bloodlust for more than like...3hrs at a time
[+12] u/CD274: Oh the Melania press thing was about her denying she knew Epstein well and he didn't introduce them? Nobody cares Melania
[+12] u/Organic-Lie4759: The day 🥭 gets booted out, Dow to 52k, SPY to 800.
[+12] u/Spicyboi981: Axios’ transition from a relatively unbiased/objective news source to sensational glazing should be studied
[+12] u/Here4Retirement: Fuck this market, I'm done
[+12] u/Sorry_Character_1771: BREAKING NEWS: BLACKSTONE AND ONTARIO TEACHERS RETIREMENT FUND BUY 50% STAKE IN STRAIT OF HORMUZ TOLLWAY.
[+11] u/Round_Context_146: Oil Up, VIX down, SPY steady... interesting
[+11] u/itsmyfault22: the amount of money I lost in 40 days is unreal. I guessed pretty much wrong every day, its impossible to lose this much. I started off with calls into oblivion and then recently switched to puts and we went from spy 630 to 680
[+11] u/Soft_Ladder_7894: does market even care about CPI anymore?
i feel like it comes out hot, market will still rise
[+10] u/Double_Anybody: Iran says they mined the strait and we’re still green 😭
[+10] u/Ok-Piano8789: lotta u guys are ziggin when u should be zaggin
[+10] u/Christiaan122: Risked $1.8k to make $75 today
[+10] u/Sweaty-Sherbet-6926: Kuwait being attacked again, very bullish!
[+9] u/MikeyS2k: So oil doesnt matter anymore hmmmm
[+9] u/Jon472: I bet the whole farm on sour hour
[+9] u/zuziannka: Leaked news: Bers have smol pp
[+9] u/Gom_KBull: Welp my 1dte puts are toast
[+9] u/The_Real_Jafar: BREAKING: Straight of Hormuz is going to IPO next week.
[+8] u/Comfortable_Guitar: I got puts for tomorrow and Monday. Phew. Finally out of the closet 🌈🧸
[+8] u/EdgeLordMcGravy: Yep this is getting rug pulled
[+8] u/onyux: only pumping allowed
[+8] u/tnecniv2021: Market is fucking cooked.
[+8] u/Optimal-Midnight4295: Not long ago hegseth said “the only thing keeping the strait from being open is Iran shooting at ships” So now in waiting for him to come out and say “the only thing stopping the ceasefire is the fact that people are shooting at each other”
[+8] u/Own-Kaleidoscope-731: NETANYAHU: WE ARE CONTINUING TO STRIKE HEZBOLLAH WITH FORCE; WE ARE CONTINUING TO STRIKE HEZBOLLAH WITH FORCE
so what ceasefire?
[+8] u/Ssjalexgd4: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+7] u/The_Cornwallis: Imagine you’re the only human in this chat and you’re just talking to 1,000 bots
[+7] u/DICK_STUCK_IN_COW: Had a feeling they’d scam retail that’s why I bought calls. 650% day not too shabby.
[+7] u/Nihohaha: THIS IS GOING TO BE THE GREATEST DOUBLE TOP OF ALL TIME
!banbet SPY 600 30d
[+7] u/Ltiform: Always sell my calls too early i'm literally the reverse Buffett
[+6] u/SeliciousSedicious: Bulls and all equipment needed to ANNIHILATE THE BERS will remain positioned aimed around the local glory hole until such a time that a REAL AND PERMANENT DEAL is announced for bers to forfeit all of their money once and for all so that they may never again commit acts of berrorism on our GREAT AND BEAUTIFUL MARKETS!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
[+5] u/TimelessTrance: Shhh. SPY don't fight it.
[+19] u/Doughnutpower: BREAKING: Strait of Hormuz renamed to Ayatollbooth.
[+18] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: BREAKING NEWS: concepts of a new thread being made
[+16] u/AphexPin: Bear POV:
You walk into a casino and sit down at a roulette table. Before you can place a bet, one of the employees taps your shoulder and whispers: "this table is rigged. It always lands on black." You move to place your bet, but the operator leans forward and says: listen, this table is rigged. it always lands on black."
You nod and smile, knowing exactly what to do, placing your chips on red. The operator, chuckling, asks: "what are you doing, are you sure?" Of course you are. The wheel spins. It lands on black (it always does). Before you can double down, the employee taps your shoulder again, sounding concerned: "It always lands on black." Your confidence is now absolute, and you place your chips on red once more. The wheel spins, black again.
Hours pass, insolvency approaches, and you finally capitulate, screeching - 'THIS SHIT IS RIGGED'!
[+12] u/Wall_St_Bussy: I really want to explain to retards what my moves are tomorrow, April 10, 2026 but I can’t
[+12] u/yyn1999: OPEN THE NEW THREAD YOU CARZY BASTARDS !
[+12] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: # i literally cannot wait for AH market manipulation
[+11] u/Actual-Echo-5910: If my puts doesn't work tomorrow, I am leaving the market for 1 month 🤣
[+10] u/Molten-Helldiver: The threads aren’t updating, wtf mods
[+10] u/rubsdikonxpensivshit: Who else has puts for tomorrow 🖐️
[+10] u/Quartertipsy: In the middle of a war, vix is under 20 and nobody thinks we're crashing. Blood bath tomorrow
[+10] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: so the market has basically absorbed everything right? tariffs, war, everything, meaning bottom is finally in...right?
[+9] u/ShikariV: Puts on Melania Trump. What the hell was that.
[+9] u/djrlrp: Modz have finally found a girl that'll touch their pp's
[+9] u/DXM147: Man if we knew MMs were going to defend 680 with their lives we should've sent them to the middle east
[+8] u/FatandBankrupt: Nestle yahoo isn’t going to cease de fyaaa or he’s on trial for being a bad bad boy.
[+8] u/Resident_Area_1474: my puts are so cooked
[+8] u/Born-Succotash5629: Feels good to be losing money on AI fears again instead of losing money on war fears
[+8] u/Ancient_Let7878: I became a bull today and my port was green holy shit I thought it only came in one color
[+7] u/jerm2z: Bibi says there isn’t gonna be a new thread
[+6] u/Brodieischeese: Port full < full port.
Anyways I think I’m gonna quintuple down on some shorts
[+6] u/StyleActual2773: If this war ends just one more time, SPY will be at a new ATH!