▶ Full Post Text
[+31] u/DisgrunltedDan: Someone just added MILLIONS worth of SPY puts
Here we go again...
Cheddar flow
May puts
[+29] u/anerdknownaswill: Tomorrow could be the funniest April fools ever
[+16] u/ten7four: Now that puts are cheap I don't want them anymore
[+15] u/UnivalveX: - unconfirmed report of Iran seeking truce: +3%
- confirmed report of Iran not seeking truce: -0.3%
[+15] u/Haunting-Window-5125: Iran could do the funniest April fools prank
[+15] u/BowlAcademic9278: Whatever I do, I will lose money.
Sent via Nokia
[+15] u/Logical-Clerk-1571: "sometimes bul fuk, sometimes ber fuk" - Isaac Newton
[+13] u/HandsOnTheBible: Another ship sailed from Virginia packed full of marines
Iran just warned that they're going to attack our big tech fronts in the middle east
Iran PM stating that no negotiations with US have happened at all
Israel invading southern Lebanon
Calls tho am i rite?
[+12] u/tbiol: I’m not sure who started Kegsbreath, but I love it.
[+12] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: The pump today was due to Kristi Noem's husband and his massive tiddies in case anyone was still wondering
[+12] u/Ok_Wealth_3433: Wouldn’t be surprised to see -2% tomorrow
[+11] u/Kashabowiekid: Breaking. USA has landed troops on Karg island. Todays pump was just to keep the spy above correction
[+11] u/wright_on_: Irrational pump the day before April fools…. Ok
[+11] u/This-Marzipan-5557: Got fucked on my puts, still have them though
[+11] u/SecurityFar1910: Bought puts at the end for cheap. This shit ain’t over despite all the propaganda from 🥭.
[+11] u/igotshrimps: +20% today, -33% month, -40% YTD
[+10] u/Late-Jump6042: Today's proven to me that the market is NOT efficient
[+10] u/patricktu1258: Have you said thank you once?
https://preview.redd.it/i8ki4egbsfsg1.jpeg?width=1421&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a6e3f6e6eb2a283ba1f04078a5d3bc8ac676628d
[+10] u/Spezalt4: There will be many fools tomorrow
[+10] u/Trashpanda7193: Tomorrow will be flat to kill all the puts just bought
[+8] u/MissMatriarch: April Fools: “Wanna see something funny?”
[+8] u/DegenBagholder_: First day of the new quarter, let's set the tone right (-5% SPY :sob)
[+8] u/financiallythriving: Can’t wait for my 401k balance to update for a quick little dopamine hit
[+8] u/plzplzplztendies: #FORGET THE OIL
#GIVE ME PEPTIDES
[+8] u/saw-it: Car dealerships about to be flooded with used dodge chargers
[+8] u/bemeandnotyou: 🥭Has to announce, He will not be outdone by a Persian!
[+8] u/Kung-FuPikachu: cashed out everything at close, officially back in green YTD and gonna take a break (which means we rally another 5% while i sit watching)
[+8] u/MissMatriarch: So, by law of 🥭, we will now be blessed with a tweet that swings the market the entirely different way, right?
[+8] u/WarmCan3034: that one guy saying the market was gonna go up on the 31st and couldn't disclose the reason.... I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO U BUT IM RETARD
[+7] u/MadHat0815: First of all congrats bols! you deserved a big win after this shitshow of a month. Now some short DD to get us all back to reality:
The last pre war oil has reached / is reaching the ports right now. That gives us about 2-3 more weeks considering further refining and transportation time.
In the 1973 oil crisis only about 6-7% of global oil supply was affected now its about 20%. (reserves will help, but only so much...)
So if this shit isn´t over soon it will get really really ugly...
[+7] u/Gaseous_Clay_OK: Bears must be pretty cheesed off after today
[+7] u/sonspurs: Probably biggest market crash in history tomorrow.
[+7] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: What if boots go on the ground tonight and SPY ends up going -14% tomorrow?
[+6] u/Soft_Ladder_7894: sooooo... i have seen this before big pump makes people think we back to bull run everyone buys calls and big dump everyone gets destroyed...
has anyone seen this before????
[+6] u/neverseengreen: Remember folks dont revenge trade into puts, the bull market is going to begin again. Spy 750 by July
[+6] u/AutomaticAerie4672: Friendly reminder that market narratives can change very quickly.
[+6] u/ShittyUsernane1222: it would be an absolutely diabolical April fools, if they invade Iran this night and then circuit breakers fail by "accident" tomorrow and the market dumps 99% tomorrow.
[+6] u/basedpogchamp: SHREK DAY
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[+6] u/trumpdiego: ##that'll teach people to responsibly hedge when geopolitical disasters are unfolding!
[+6] u/ten7four: SPY at 630: Ewwwww I'm not touching that garbage
SPY at 650: I'm all in boys LFGGGGG
[+5] u/Stunning-Dig-8916: MY FUCKING PUTS ARE BLOODY
[+5] u/NaiveMercury: Take a bow MMs, absolute cinema that 650 close
[+5] u/cow_grass: Let me guess, market opens down over 1% tommorw
[+5] u/No_Current3675: Dawg, I don't know what the fuk is happening.
[+5] u/Working-Elk-4417: April Fools get a day, regards get a lifetime
[+5] u/God_RL: Buy puts & calls, you can't go wrong!
[+5] u/burtburtburtcg: Those calls you bought at 650 are not going to work out
[+5] u/rv_: I sold when markets opened today. Thinking it would dump. Not feeling great. Paper hands. Scared money. Etc, etc. Lost about \~8-10% of gains.
[+5] u/Tay_Tay86: Bought two more puts at the close
[+5] u/neverpost4: I wish I bought some more puts today.
Because tomorrow is going to be the biggest April Fools day for longs.
[+5] u/Mysterious-Device-53: Wouldn't be surprised to see another +2% tomorrow
[+55] u/aftherith: The troops are going to Iran to celebrate the ENDING of the war you idiots!
[+47] u/PeeOnDusk: BREAKING: Iran's Foreign Minister Araghchi just now on potential peace talks with the US:
"We do not have any faith that negotiations with the US will yield any results. The trust level is at zero."
So bullish 🚀🚀
[+45] u/Valkorion335786: If you ever feel stupid, just remember that Pete Hegseth used his insider knowledge of a strike on Iran to attempt a multimillion-dollar trade and ended up losing money
[+40] u/Fast-Steak-7730: Today’s pump was a requirement for tomorrows circuit breaker
[+38] u/voidedhip: The **US** state department has called on US citizens currently in **Saudi Arabia** to **shelter in place until further notice**.
In a statement, it said the US embassy in **Riyadh** had directed all US government employees to do the same.
WARS OVER BOYS LOL
[+35] u/SuspiciousStable9649: PSA: Iran said “The strikes against U.S. tech companies and properties are supposed to start April 1 at 8 p.m. local time in Iran, which is 12:30 p.m. Eastern Time.”
Iran is telling you to short tomorrow morning. I’m not saying you should do anything, just sharing a quote. Public information.
Edit to add link: https://gizmodo.com/iran-threatens-to-attack-u-s-tech-companies-starting-april-1-2000740363
[+33] u/Everythingisokey: 3 fking precent on fake news omfg
[+33] u/apurimac777: We have unconfirmed reports of warm fuzzy feel good vibes between people who absolutely fucking hate each other and that's enough to send SPY up 3%
Markets weren't this nice to sleepy Joe thats a lot of fucking hopium right there
[+32] u/canwequitnow: Today I learned if I make X amount of money in a week, I can lose it all in an hour
[+31] u/rollinhating: >20m ago
> (20:35 GMT)
>Mobarakeh Steel plant in Iran’s Isfahan hit again in US-Israeli attack
>Iran’s Mobarakeh Steel plant in Isfahan has been targeted for the second time in a week, according to Tasnim news agency.
Sounds like a great start for the surrender/negotiation.. Iran got mad mad the first time they hit it..
[+30] u/psymeariver: I’m loaded with SPY puts and praying. 😭
[+27] u/lithe_silhouette: This ber boll crap is juvenile, repetitive and retarded. It's like built-in spam that you have to go through just in case someone has something insightful to say in these comments
[+25] u/br0botic: Trump being more mad about losing his ballroom than anything else impacting this country/the world is a perfect encapsulation of him lmao
[+25] u/ismebbb: No one is more religious than a degenerate leveraged to the tits with shorts
[+24] u/krakdis: Based on today’s performance, I can safely deduce tomorrow’s going to be another day
[+23] u/astromouse2024: Imagine it’s just an April fools joke and we dump -5% tomorrow
[+22] u/Character_Pirate_152: Third aircraft carrier at the middle east. Good sign that the war is about over and there won't be an invasion that will last 20 years.
[+22] u/PompeiiSketches: We spent Billions of dollars to not regime change, close the strait, and potentially kill the petrodollar. Also 13 Americans died.
Brilliant gambit sir
[+21] u/pm_me_yo_creditscore: Thursday will be so ugly that they aren't even gonna open the markets on Friday.
[+21] u/SomePolack: Iran did announce they’ll start attacking U.S. tech companies tomorrow
That should be a good barometer on whether or not this is actually over
[+20] u/NeuroLeak: The third carrier group to deploy to the Middle East is to aide in negotiations right?
[+20] u/CUbuffGuy: Literally lost to Iran. Wild lol
Moved the goal posts all the way back to our own end zone and retreating lol. A better way of saying “we can leave without a deal”
[+20] u/Ok_Cry7572: Anthropic accidentally leaked their entire source code yesterday. What happened next is one of the most insane stories in tech history.
> Anthropic pushed a software update for Claude Code at 4AM.
> A debugging file was accidentally bundled inside it.
> That file contained 512,000 lines of their proprietary source code.
> A researcher named Chaofan Shou spotted it within minutes and posted the download link on X.
> 21 million people have seen the thread.
> The entire codebase was downloaded, copied and mirrored across GitHub before Anthropic's team had even woken up.
> Anthropic pulled the package and started firing DMCA takedowns at every repo hosting it.
> That's when a Korean developer named Sigrid Jin woke up at 4AM to his phone blowing up.
> He is the most active Claude Code user in the world with the Wall Street Journal reporting he personally used 25 billion tokens last year.
> His girlfriend was worried he'd get sued just for having the code on his machine.
> So he did what any engineer would do.
> He rewrote the entire thing in Python from scratch before sunrise.
> Called it claw-code and Pushed it to GitHub.
> A Python rewrite is a new creative work. DMCA can't touch it.
> The repo hit 30,000 stars faster than any repository in GitHub history.
> He wasn't satisfied. He started rewriting it again in Rust.
> It now has 49,000 stars and 56,000 forks.
> Someone mirrored the original to a decentralised platform with one message, "will never be taken down."
[+19] u/botistic: Bol slaughter party tomorrow. You’re invited 🎉🎈
[+19] u/CUbuffGuy: I fully expect to just lose everything now. Market is broken
[+18] u/Paul_Robert_: Need to buy calls on companies that manufacture fake breasts due to *recent developments*
[+18] u/CUbuffGuy: I lost 100k today, I'm saying fuck it and either losing another 100k tonight or making back 75k of that. No pussy moves
[+18] u/beardedd27: Historically the US has never won these many wars in a month. That alone is pretty bullish.
[+18] u/PositiveToe2761: First time losing 10K in a day. Not fking with the psychological effect
[+18] u/LumpyShock9656: https://preview.redd.it/8l6w5avddgsg1.png?width=1032&format=png&auto=webp&s=033235ffd4b22a0cd1d696665bd6cb690fda2797
[+18] u/No_Fig_7835: DJT may be done with Iran but I'm not sure Iran is done with DJT
[+18] u/whitepug: BREAKING: Trump says Iran 'doesn't have much left to threaten' US companies with, mocks and asks, 'what did they threaten them with, BB guns?'
POKING THE HORNETS NEST OH BOY
[+18] u/zeebee098: Feel like I’m having a midlife crisis at 32
[+18] u/Vikingnorris: Society breakdown is happening in real time
[+18] u/Notable_Naps: My moves tomorrow... same thing I do every day: watch numbers move, ponder the meaning of life, cry in the casino, and read shitposts.
[+18] u/SearchUsual5193: Today was like that ex gf who lets you pump one last time
[+17] u/PositiveToe2761: I think I might possibly maybe have a gambling problem
[+17] u/Spare_Party_9521: if this gets enough likes i will take out a loan.AND stack it ontop of my levarage of 20k all in on TQQQ
[+17] u/dybalapogba21: “leaving Iran in 2 to 3 weeks” LMAO
[+17] u/Upset_Pool2319: War is over in 2-3 weeks? He just flat out lies now with no long explanations. it’s insane 😂
[+17] u/Flat-Focus7966: I don't think that in a market like this, bulls or bears should put each other down.
Both get equally cleaned up....in turns
[+17] u/iTouchStuff: THIRD U.S. AIRCRAFT CARRIER, USS GEORGE H.W. BUSH, DEPLOYS TO MIDDLE EAST - WSJ
i thought it was over
[+16] u/greyenlightenment: so market is confident that strait not being opened but surging because trump said war is soon over?
[+16] u/Jynx91: Is this gonna be one of those 3% up followed by a 5% down move?
[+16] u/High-Impact-2025: Currently down -$2200 with my Short. It's ok, you win some you lose some, but what really bothers me is that the market goes +1% on a single news message from Iran's president but then -0% when that news turns out to be fake.
[+16] u/tiny_toof: What if Iran says April fools tmrw
[+16] u/blemdemman: the new pope seems decent
[+16] u/Valkorion335786: ChatGPT is extremely confident when it posts the wrong answers lmao
[+16] u/Particular_Growth_67: We pumped off nothing?
[+16] u/NeedToMakeMoneyz: “We’re gonna have to force ourselves upon them.” Wow what a choice of words to use.
[+16] u/whitepug: so what the fuck was the point of all of this
[+16] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: now what if we get a *double* taco 🌮 🌮
[+16] u/ayashifx55: gas is over 4$+ per gallon in some places in the states , gold is up , BUT WAIT, LETS PUMP THE STOCK MARKET first!!!
[+16] u/NotMe357: "JUST IN: Iranian Foreign Minister says trust between the U.S. and Iran in peace talks is "at zero"
[+15] u/MicioBau: I know that inverse WSB is a meme at this point, but it's kinda insane how this place gets absolutely everything—and I mean **EVERYTHING**—wrong, without fail.
[+15] u/jontestershaircut: Start war with Iran, other nations don't want to help you, throw fit and tell them to get their own oil through the Strait. The art of the deal.
[+15] u/auroraavm: Today was a dick move. not gonna lie.
[+15] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #DAILY REMINDER: TOLL BOOTH COMING AND YUAN IS THE NEW GLOBAL CURRENCY
[+15] u/Spare_Party_9521: chat summarize this reddit thread
# 🧩 Bottom Line
If you strip away the jokes:
👉 **Consensus = “Something feels off, probably down tomorrow… but nobody is confident.”**
* Bearish bias is slightly stronger
* Confidence is very low
* Volatility expectations are high
[+15] u/KindlyTie6602: I have a real problem getting bored with my well thoughout trades and then buying some stupid shit that loses me money.
[+15] u/shortitforever: Goldman Sachs says 450 strike calls on crude have been bought
[+15] u/Dbx84: Breaking news: Judge blocks 🥭s White House ballroom project for now….. Peace deals are off
[+15] u/SighRamp: USO didn't tank and this just came out 5 min ago. Oil bull another bs false flag bump based off nothing so they can get out of positions / load up on liquidity
# Iran’s Foreign Minister Rebuts Trump Claim of Progress in Peace Talks
[+15] u/ConsiderationKey1658: I hope Iran tweets that the strait is open tomorrow
[+15] u/Previous_Hope_2087: I gotta switch to longer dated options like… 2DTE.
[+14] u/ismebbb: 🥭 went after my boy JPow for renovations and now he loses his ballroom LMAO
[+14] u/Gom_KBull: Spoiler:
>!Big dump tomorrow but nobody can tell if its real or not because April Fools and everyone's trolling!<
[+14] u/Level_Counter3062: Hey everyone, just letting you know I full ported calls at the top today and I have a horrific record with options. Best of luck everyone else
[+14] u/Gameoverbotch: They really pushing hard to find exit liquidity. Even going to the levels of pushing a 3 week old statement from Iran president quoted saying looking for an agreement but with guarantees. And then trump flip flopping since the start of the war and probably going issue another post in next hour saying “planning on wrapping up war with Iran”.
[+14] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: Regards think they will get two Green Day’s in a row
[+14] u/mikefromedelyn: believe it or not calls (my wife left me)
[+14] u/wattap: MANGO: “ALL I HAVE TO DO IS LEAVE IRAN AND OIL PRICES WILL COME TUMBLING DOWN, AND WE’LL BE DOING THAT VERY SOON”
[+14] u/2020isgreat: Trump encourages allies transit Strait because it's safe, now - WSJ
He got a yacht he should prove it
[+14] u/Jarlaxle_rigged_it: Mango hallucinating "tremendous number of ships sailing through Hormuz today"
[+14] u/DarkR124: > US deploys third aircraft carrier to Middle East amid preperations for Iran invasion
Lol. Hope yall grabbed puts today.
[+14] u/Infinite-Anybody204: Breaking: Trump to sail his yacht through the Strait of Hormuz to prove its open
[+13] u/kazkeb: Never seen such seething anger and vitriol about the market going up 3%. Never change WSB.
[+13] u/ConsiderationKey1658: every day is April fools with these ding dongs
[+13] u/mayorolivia: Market pumped as the war intensified
[+13] u/14BrewMan: I will never buy another put again.
[+13] u/macak333: -3% tmrw for april fools
[+13] u/ItsHighNoonBang: Pump is prob just quarter end rebalancing + relief rally. What Iran said today was pretty much what they said last week in terms of their demands. Nothing new. In a downturn, it never goes straight down. Honestly, doing 0 day or 1 week options either direction is just straight gambling.
[+13] u/Unique_username93_: I fucking hate this market.
And I don’t trust the pump. Oil isn’t matching, the vibes are off
[+13] u/GoProVI: Honestly glad for the little run up today but yall realize we just recovered from yesterday? That’s about it lol
[+13] u/bb483: The market is here to fuck you (yes you) specifically
[+13] u/borrokalaria: Until I hear from BiBi that the war is over, I remain skeptical about these markets. It does not matter what the Iranians or TACO want/say. TACO is the President, but BiBi is the CEO. Staying out for now. Good luck bols and bers.
[+13] u/WSB-mods-are-: Cancer could've been cured twice and had a university named after it with the amount of money wsb spent on SPY puts today
[+13] u/Azulasgirlfriend: Whole country run by drug and sex addicts
[+13] u/klippklar: Closed my SPY calls I grabbed before close yesterday at open for a clean 100% and felt like a genius for about an hour. Then watched them go to +500% without me. Cool cool cool.
On the bright side, I made money (rare), stopped perma-bearing for once (character development), and only mildly hate myself (self-growth). 📈
[+13] u/NewDawn101: They wanna make a deal so bad that we didn’t even have to make a deal even though we want to make a deal
[+13] u/ResidentPack4103: Went from down 130k to down 120k today...
Hahahaha take that 🌈ber
[+13] u/photosynthescythe: Currently taking a shit at work so intense I had to take my shirt off
[+13] u/MitchellMcconnel: Dead cat bounce and anyone with 2 brain cells knows orange is lying his fat ass off. This war aint stopping anytime soon
[+13] u/Beginning-Visual2341: Taco at some point tonight. “ the wars basically over, idk what the were thinking but it’s over, we won, thank you America” 😂 spy pumps 10%
[+13] u/asetniop: Imagine being Kristi Noem's husband and watching Silence of the Lambs and the one thing you take away from it is: "wouldn't it be fun to have a vest with tits on it?"
[+13] u/Icy-nut-inspector: This smells like bulls being used for exit liquidity for MM's. We have Straight still closed, More facilities being hit with drones and rockets, sending another 3rd aircraft carrier to the middle East suddenly, with more troops, Iran saying nah, we aint done, and Trump trashing Nato and our Allies than harder then ever before. Don't forget the shelter in place order for all us workers and citizens in the middle East they just ordered. How is this shit supposed to stay up and i to believe it wont double TACO?
[+13] u/Axonum: Tomorrow will either pump more or do the biggest rugpull of the year.
[+13] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: ill admit, i got a serious dopamine rush on that god candle today. gamblin aint for sissies
[+13] u/Wall_St_Bussy: Bears yesterday: “SPY 600 this week, puts are free money”
Bears today: “No onion on the burger, got it.”
[+13] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: Either this hits and I’m back in the game or I’m out
!banbet $SPY 640 1d
[+13] u/Inevitable_Estate459: And this bull run started when bears got rug pulled by a random Iranian on Twitter
Crazy how stupid people are
[+13] u/-IQ200: 7K is solid. No one ever went broke taking profits, don’t let greed stress you from your win.
[+12] u/jlw993: "In Iran's political structure, the President holds significant administrative power but is strictly subordinate to the Supreme Leader and the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) in all matters of national security and strategic policy."
This entire pump is based on fuck all 😂😂😂😂
Puts it is. April is opening with a fucking huge bearish candle tomorrow
[+12] u/Fun-Valuable-7355: Multi trillion April fools joke
[+12] u/Coley44: Nearly 4% day on the prospect if America accepting they lose the war and hoping the strait just immediately opens LMAAAOOOOO
[+12] u/Starkfault: Stocks will never go down again
[+12] u/Sad-Airman: So back to all time highs? Everything is better now?
[+12] u/Theipodrookie: None of you played liberation day into the tariff pause last year and it shows
[+12] u/b_fellow: That guy posting 3 days ago that market will mega pump today must be in some circle shaped room.
[+12] u/Ok_Cry7572: Iran is planning to finish Dubai.
IRGC has ordered all employees of Tesla, Google, Microsoft, Nvidia, Apple, IBM, Intel and JP Morgan to leave immediately.
Universities and desalination plants are also legitimate targets.
[+12] u/Altruistic_Gap_8494: Thank me guys. I bought yolo puts the first time since the war started when spy was up 1.7%. Literally the only day when both country started talking about peace.
I swear I am in a reality show.
[+12] u/bearhunter429: #Italy failing to go to the world cup again LMAO🤌
[+12] u/BarbellPadawan: Imagine talking shit about the best Federal Reserve Chairman in 4 lifetimes.
[+12] u/moviekid214: He just said the same two sentences twice in a row and didn’t even blink bro we are so cooked
[+12] u/No_Fig_7835: President Trump says the US will leave Iran in “2 to 3 weeks.”
For the over/under, I'm taking the over on this one boyz.
[+12] u/Brodieischeese: Guys wars ending for the 5th time. This time it’s true though right?….. Right?
[+12] u/Ninefingerzs: Third aircraft carrier deployed to Middle East to a war that’s over, thank you bolz for the puts opportunity
[+12] u/DanqueLeChay: Judge blocked the ballroom, ww3 confirmed
[+12] u/Low_Plastic363: The dreaded "two weeks." Now we know we're fucked.
*President* [*Donald Trump*](https://www.cnbc.com/donald-trump/) *on Tuesday said he expected that* [*U.S. military forces*](https://www.cnbc.com/2026/03/20/trump-iran-war-ceasefire.html) *will leave* [*Iran*](https://www.cnbc.com/id/10000297) *in “two or three weeks.”*
*“We leave because there’s no reason for us to do this,” Trump told reporters at the* [*White House*](https://www.whitehouse.gov/)*.*
*“We’ll be leaving very soon,” the president said.*
*The U.S. and Israel attacked Iran on Feb. 28.*
[+12] u/ecoburner87: first war in American history where the Pentagon's got 20 of its situation room monitors on Trading View and only 1 other on constant Facetime with Bibi's office
[+12] u/Actual_Difference617: Oil keeps going up, yeilds going up, stocks going up, as the nature intended.
[+12] u/asetniop: Bryon Noem claims that he hid his double life from his wife and I'm inclined to believe him. Showing Kristi a set of puppies like that is a good way to get yourself shot.
[+12] u/_ThisDickAintFree_: April Fools? More like April Bools. Amirite??
[+12] u/Maximum-Cash7103: Up 6k now only 34k more to go 😢😭
[+12] u/DFW_BjornFree: The war is ending but we're sending more tropps over there.
Damn it sounds so familiar.
[+12] u/bb483: The moment when what should’ve been a quick flip turns into a long term trade
[+12] u/Bizonistic: Are my SPY 640 04/30 puts cooked? Doubled down a bit too much
[+12] u/Double_Anybody: USS George H W carrier strike group headed to Middle East. Puts on the IRGC 💀
[+11] u/HelloViggomanFanHere: I feel like Michael Burry after i stocked up on puts right after the pump today
[+11] u/Stormwingx: Are you guys ok with Iran bombing big tech
[+11] u/No_Stand5622: The bubble will continue to inflate like Kristi Noem husband balloons.
[+11] u/vermilli21: Surely buying calls for tomorrow won’t backfire on me after a 3% day
[+11] u/Mediocre_Pangolin572: I sold everything on Monday because I was told that it’s joever. DONT FUCK ME LIKE THIS DONNIE. IRAN DO SOMETHING.
[+11] u/Hugheston987: https://preview.redd.it/3974zmm71gsg1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=443b04a7efbd2e63fb9f49d07c5e2866b1a68d13
[+11] u/ShutupBird69: EOQ manipulation. Red tomorrow
[+11] u/ShopWhileHungry: Market doing April fool joke 1 day early just to fuck with everyone
[+11] u/IlinistRainbow6: tomorrow the line moves to the right
[+11] u/FabulousLanguage6216: Everyone expects tomorrow some kind of pullback so we will have another +3% day
[+11] u/NateDawg655: Nothing at all changed today. So weird it pumped so hard
[+11] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: It’s gonna fucking rip again tomorrow, isn’t it?
[+11] u/solemnlowfiver: Reminder of Iran’s conditions: sovereignty of the Strait of Hormuz, reparations, no aggression against allied resistance groups, some form of ensuring there won’t be a repeat of the conflict, and then of course no more attacks on Iran. That said no job growth and oil still peaking may be bullish
[+11] u/Spiritual-End7310: USS George H.W. Bush now headed to Middle East. But I thought the war was over
[+11] u/zuziannka: Mango just yaps the same shit every godamn time
[+11] u/jonneh: The markets had no idea this cheat code existed. You just got to say shit, even if it’s not true, and it’ll go up 🤣🤣
#
> 🥭: US will leave in about 2-3 weeks
[+11] u/DefiantDelta: the market keeps buying the bullshit. bulls keep buying their own shit. bers keep eating shit. same as it ever was
[+11] u/Ok-Indication-3754: So we still pumping on BS
[+11] u/nknk_3: Is market stupid or what? There will probably be a ground assault in one of those islands.
[+11] u/AgeMiddle854: Tore up the JCPOA, attacked because they were "2 weeks away" from a nuke after previously saying bombings completely destroyed nuclear capabilities, don't need a deal apparently, straits closed. Regime change apparently wasn't a goal of this now. Hardline son takes over. Leaving in 2 weeks.
200 billion spent to be in a worse position than ever before.
SPY +2% tomorrow
[+11] u/Jadeclone1: Yesterday: "Regime change achieved"
Today: "Regime change was not the goal"
[+11] u/CasherburyTales: If Iran can blow up just the parts of the data centers that archived my edge lord internet phase that would be great
[+11] u/Jadeclone1: Americans are living in the dumbest timeline
[+11] u/Borderpotroll: I’ve never, ever, seen so much confidence in loading puts after a +3% day. Would you load calls after a -3% day? Probably not. Hope yall get smoked.
[+11] u/whitepug: These days tend to repeat themselves but it would be sooo funny if tomorrow was a -5%+ day
[+11] u/Ninja_Cooter: Today was not the day to be cash gang apparently. At least I wasn’t short anything.
[+11] u/I_work_too_much: Goddamn what a sweet fucking rip just straight BLASTED all the way to levels we haven't seen since...*checks notes*... Thursday...
[+11] u/bearhunter429: #Italy FAILED once again to go to the world cup LMAO🤌
[+11] u/Mindless-Week-1250: Its another lie but they did it through legacy media this time
[+11] u/VisualMod: **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/birdsaresnitches** bet **SPY** goes from **650.1** to **715.11** before **01-Apr-2026 04:56 PM EDT**
Their record is 1 wins and 5 losses.
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+10] u/kiwicanuck-: We going red tomorrow, my 645 puts are going to print.
[+10] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: #Mods just messaged me asking for $5k for a premium day pass for the meet up. I happily sent it over 😊
[+10] u/Actual_Difference617: This was so they could just fuck your puts and tomorrow they will fuck your calls.
[+10] u/Neat-Concentrate-239: Yeah, I ain't buying any of it.
And by "it" I mean stocks.
cos I lost all my money in the market already
[+10] u/Efficient_Policy_176: All talk no action. Watch how nothing actually changes because 🥭 just talks BS as always, Iran ain't gonna back down so easily, and there's not been any actual actionable progress done. Wouldn't be surprised with a -1% open tomorrow.
[+10] u/Same-Tie8083: do people not understand if us backs out and leaves with the straight closed iran will force all trade in yuan and the great petro dollar collapses and with it the us economy. they stay-puts, they leave-puts either way mango in trouble
[+10] u/apurimac777: If the bulls are partying in here all night tonight there will be blood in the morning
[+10] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Bers come post your copy paste Iran news propaganda please it’s getting quiet
[+10] u/Independent-Tree-985: wait, do we actually have a credible source where iran says theyd make a deal? with names being named instead of vague horseshittery?
[+10] u/No-Improvement3164: I’m 100% sure I’m not living in a real world 🌎
[+10] u/thevolxme: No gay 🐻shit, no way this continues, we dumping hard tomorrow. Fuck 🌈🐻
[+10] u/eoiioe: Retail loading more puts for this week, they are going to roast us (got brunt like a pizza today)
[+10] u/emperor_dinglenads: Ceasefire! April Fools!
[+10] u/Available-Web-412: i sold all my calls at close and bought 4k puts both april and may exp. if this shit does not tank i am so fucked. iran literally said to buy puts on days like these.
[+10] u/trsx5: Today was very bullish. Remember the main markets go up 83% of the time. You can be a bear periodically but always remember stonks go up!
[+10] u/Snowman33001: Just the kind of market I like. Both bears and bulls are petrified.
[+10] u/Any-Camel-9913: so tomorrow -3% coz war continues
[+10] u/rampagepete: So clearly a pumpfake lol. See yall at 6350 next week
[+10] u/VenomBite214: Bers will complain that market is rigged because;
Tomorrow it will pump again- they expect dump after today's pump.
Thursday is supposed to dump because it's a Friday this week. But it's gonna pump.
[+10] u/Ok_Cry7572: Barbers these days ask for too much money. $30-50 is insane, you can get a cut for under $3 in Asia
[+10] u/Ok_Cry7572: SPX First trading day of April last 5 years:
2025: +.38%
2024: -.20%
2023: +.37%
2022: +.34%
2021: +1.18%
2020: -4.41%
[+10] u/Brodieischeese: If every country goes to war, ai bubble collapses, hedge funds get bombed by Iran and spy gets de listed from the NYSE, I may just be able to pull a break even.
[+10] u/Ok_Cry7572: 1 hr ago:
BEYOND MEAT 4Q GROSS MARGIN 2.3%, EST. 12.8%
*BEYOND MEAT 4Q ADJ. EBITDA LOSS $69.0M VS. LOSS $26.0M Y/Y
😂😂
[+10] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: BREAKING NEWS: Mango is talking about the ballroom
[+10] u/captainprice117: 2 weeks boys. As usual
[+10] u/trsx5: MANGO IS BORED OF IRAN. JUST GO LONG ON EQUITIES AGAIN LOL
[+10] u/Artistic-Tea-8294: Serious question: Reports are that China is creating a peace plan for the strait. I'm guessing that means some form of military protection for Iran to keep the peace. If they succeed what does that do to US power and will markets be affected?
[+10] u/AirportMaterial5917: you gotta give it to him, he's good at yapping
[+10] u/Vort3x7689: He says Iran has nothing. What about the drones and rockets that are shooting at ships in the strait. This orangutan is regarded
[+10] u/UnDemen: Market was up because of Krist Noem’s husband big tiddies
[+10] u/Separate_Fold5168: Last night "We can leave the war and Europe will need to defend the straight."
Tonight: We have concepts of leaving the war."
[+10] u/SoloOutdoor: Its ultra clear they fucked up the oil and gas infrastructure over there on purpose. Spike commodities then say oh we have lots buy over here.
Its like Burger King burning down McDonald's across the street.
The worst part is I was too fuckn stupid to see this two weeks ago.
[+10] u/noahmfs: I bet the whole world think we are the most retarded people in the planet.
[+10] u/smart_doge: # Shrek Dildos Everywhere
⢀⡴⠑⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠸⡇⠀⠿⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⣠⠾⠁⣀⣄⡈⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠁⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠂⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⡿⢿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⣁⣀⠀⠴⠂⠙⣗⡀⠀⢻⣿⣿⠭⢤⣴⣦⣤⣹⠀⠀⠀⢀⢴⣶⣆ ⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣽⣾⣿⣥⣴⣿⣿⡿⢂⠔⢚⡿⢿⣿⣦⣴⣾⠁⠸⣼⡿ ⠀⢀⡞⠁⠙⠻⠿⠟⠉⠀⠛⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢤⣼⣿⣾⣿⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⣾⣷⣶⠇⠀⠀⣤⣄⣀⡀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠉⠈⠉⠀⠀⢦⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣽⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠲⣽⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣶⣮⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠉⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠉ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠘⡆⠀⠀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⢣⠀⠀⠀⢯⡀⣿⡗⢏⠀⠀⢠⠒ ⠒⠒⡕⠄⡀⠀⣿⡇⠀⠀⣸⣿⠀⠀⠐⠆⣿⡇⠀⠓⡤⠈⡆ ⠀⡸⠀⡄⠈⠁⣿⡇⢀⣴⣿⠇⠀⠴⠀⠀⣿⡇⠉⠁⢀⢠⠃ ⠀⠉⠁⢀⣠⣴⣿⣷⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣧⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⣴⡿⠛⠉⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⢀⠈⠉⠙⢿⣷⣄⠀ ⢠⣿⠏⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠙⣿⣆ ⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠐⠀⠀⢹⣿ ⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⠄⠀⠀⢸⣿⡆⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⠂⠀⢸⣿ ⢹⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠂⠀⢿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⡿ ⠀⠻⣿⣦⣀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣷⣄⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣤⣾⡟⠁ ⠀⠀⠈⠛⠿⣿⣷⣶⣾⡿⠿⠛⠻⢿⣿⣶⣾⣿⠿⠛⠉⠀⠀
[+10] u/bobby_stackz: We still haven't had a 2% day in forever (today was 3% so that doesn't count)
[+10] u/Jadeclone1: rip nike, your shoes were some of the most uncomfortable anyways.
[+10] u/whatislifebruh: Fellow bears please remember we can’t drill indefinitely and these +3 days mean the market wants even the slightest good news because things are looking bleak. Also learn to play calls, damn.
[+10] u/ismebbb: The great thing about being a bull is you don't have to be right. You make money anyways
[+10] u/Responsible-Rip8793: Would be afraid to hold anything until the next day
[+10] u/Ok-Cheesecake-5110: Got some SPY 2dte 638$ puts. There's no way 🥭 doesn't fuck something up before open tomorrow
[+10] u/Mammoth-Librarian580: Love the 4% qqq dead cat bounce today
[+10] u/dUjOUR88: Nothing says "it's cool bro" like sending a third aircraft carrier to a hostile zone
[+10] u/rottenfence: Nothing like celebrating my positions being up 7% when I’m down 20% YTD lol
[+9] u/Snowman33001: My greatest joy in life is watching bers get rekt and rage quit
[+9] u/Advanced_Divide_4641: Wait so the war is over again?
[+9] u/i2ye: If you were STILL shorting, you deserve this
[+9] u/3bizzle: So much bread made today...by other people, not me.
[+9] u/Kinnins0n: Just need 10 days like today.
[+9] u/CUbuffGuy: Iran could do the funniest thing tn
[+9] u/gcko: Cmon 🐻 post your loss porn. I’m ready.
[+9] u/NazgulSandwich: Bonds just shot up the instant the market closed, lmfao the jp morgan collar trade mafia sends its regards
[+9] u/Bright-Revolution496: Markets front load resolutions. That’s what we just saw today.
[+9] u/Fickle-Firefighter11: Networth went from 230K - 187K in 1 week because I tried to play with options…
Lost my down payment
[+9] u/Powerful_Mission_655: Another 3% tomorrow?
[+9] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: lol bulls are so cooked tomorrow
[+9] u/TropicalOinkment: I am become ber, the buyer of puts
[+9] u/Bright-Revolution496: If you buy stocks when it feels good, it just feels shitty later when they lose their momentum. If you buy stocks when it feels shitty, it sucks at first then turns around, then you make money and buy tits for your gf
[+9] u/FuckleUp: JPM collar trade was today and all their option positions were so under water option magic had to push them up.
[+9] u/Ok_Cry7572: Jim Cramer said 50 mins ago- "It's tech and just tech"
[+9] u/Ozqi: I bought MSFT calls in January.
Today I see this article: “Microsoft Stock Suffers Worst Quarter Since 2008 Crisis”
I mean seriously the market is based off my trades right? I cannot be this unlucky everytime, this is more than just being unlucky.
[+9] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: No regard has enough patience do do what a bear does
[+9] u/NeedToMakeMoneyz: Wait. Is he about to just EO the save act? Lol he just said “I think we can get away with it”
[+9] u/NeverSlowplay: So the USS George Bush is moving to Middle East with warships but we're "ending the war soon?"
[+9] u/No_Mercy_4_Potatoes: https://preview.redd.it/yz3xabmf9gsg1.png?width=814&format=png&auto=webp&s=506c21985a58b7f7808fe645f42f36efb59e5554
List of tech companies that'll be targeted from 1 April onwards. NASDAQ is about to take a dive tomorrow.
[+9] u/ozz3121: What if Iran and the US ring the NYSE opening bell together tomorrow?
[+9] u/Impressive-Mud-3362: Am I only one thinks, today's pump also had a lot to do with end of month/quarter rebalancing. I think we get some pull back tomorrow.
[+9] u/bearhunter429: #In the last 5 years Nike is down 65% but it's still overvalued at a P/E of 35. LMAO🤌
[+9] u/bearhunter429: #Nike shoes are the same quality as Costco shoes. You are just paying a $80 premium for a logo LMAO🤌
[+9] u/cbusoh66: Jamie Dimon: Hey you guys can make up some fake peace deal headline, got this collar thing...
WSJ: Say no more...Aye Aye Sir 🫡
[+9] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: MANGO: ITS YOUR PROBLEM NOW, WE ARE OUT SOON!
[+9] u/MeYouThemEveryone: Iran doesn’t need to make a deal 🤣
[+9] u/memmolemmo: Told y'all to stop overthinking and just hold calls until Thursday noon. The Trump admin is bluffing a pullout rn. They can't *not* launch a ground invasion in Iran over the weekend. Pulling out would be surrendering the petrodollar.
[+9] u/cream_cheese_tits: Sounds like hes talking about Israel. Terrorists with nukes
[+9] u/br0botic: 2 or 3 weeks away from being 2 or 3 weeks away
[+9] u/Wall_St_Bussy: Where the fuck are the sex robots I’m sick of waiting
[+9] u/borgeris: TRUMP SAYS IRAN DOES NOT HAVE TO MAKE A DEAL FOR THE U.S. TO END ITS WAR
[+9] u/frogboyjr: I would laugh at dumb bers but I can’t since I’m down 30% ytd
[+9] u/would-rather-read: this guys a psychopath
[+9] u/whatislifebruh: 8pm Tehran time (9:30am PST) Tehran might start attacking data centers. Things might be weird tomorrow, or nothing happens.
[+9] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: overwhelming *brainrot*🫴🧠
[+9] u/voidedhip: This fuckin bitch just ruined the petrodollar and got americans killed for a certain country
[+9] u/Moepenmoes: LMAO so he TACOed out just now after market hours and just wants to leave the current mess as it is
Get ready for that big red dump
[+9] u/PositiveToe2761: The eow dump is going to be so magnificent. This is one of the set up’s I’m willing to go big or go home over.
[+9] u/Fantastic_Pirate3948: All these pumps, makes me think the eventual dump will be biblical.
[+9] u/Due-Dirt-8428: I had my nutsack cut open yesterday and today was 10x worse lmao
[+9] u/Few_Egg3567: 2-3 week Iran and forget
[+9] u/SoloOutdoor: I ain't touching nothing. It can ride up or down im all out of fucks and need a reload.
[+9] u/Redditing-Dutchman: Everybody talking about the 2-3 weeks but to me this sounds like the April 6 deadline is already (again) forgotten and meaningless.
[+9] u/NOKIABUMPS69: 2-3 weeks = 2-3 months in 🥭 dictionary
[+9] u/Jaysler87: That April Fools special is gonna be spectacular tomorrow
[+9] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: Does anybody else believe it was just cause it was the last day of the quarter
[+9] u/highlanderquestion90: where's the guy who went 200k all in on puts this morning, wonder how he's feeling about that right now
[+9] u/callsonreddit: Made 4k trading shares.. Broke even today
6 month win streak
[+9] u/No_Fig_7835: Trump has the opportunity to do the funniest thing, and he almost certainly will.
[+9] u/Responsible-Rip8793: Imma speculate the market is pumping bc everyone assumed troops were invading on the weekend but it hasn’t happened yet. The longer Trump puts that off, the higher the market will go. Which is silly because we are still at war
[+9] u/Previous_Hope_2087: For real though congrats to any 0DTE call buyers who caught that rip. That’s the shit dreams are made of.
[+9] u/smart_doge: _Google frantically removing tech bros office location from Google Maps_
[+9] u/bigmeatbag: Is this the tenth war Donnie has ended?
[+9] u/mrmagootoyou2: US journalist kidnapped in Iraq
I am just impressed that someone has testicles that size
[+9] u/Weak_Emu3659: "Lost my virginity at WSB Meetup 2026"
[+9] u/BarbellPadawan: This executive order for voter suppression is going to be “cool,” maybe we should just repeal the 24th amendment and reinstate poll taxes. (/s)
[+9] u/CalyShadezz: Not matter what happens at this point global recession is locked in and the market is printing fucking Shrek dicks. G fucking G boys.
[+9] u/uncorrelatedgambling: Are you ready to become Cuba expert next week?
[+9] u/Mistondalist: Calls… April fools! -2%*
[+9] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Just did 30 minutes on a step machine. Shit sucks
[+9] u/astromouse2024: That record is really unflattering lol
[+8] u/ImLemonized: Another day, another realization that i am not made for this. Fuck me
[+8] u/Mediocre_Pangolin572: THIS WAR CAN'T END MY PUTS HAVN'T PRINTED YET......
[+8] u/natures3: Sold the rest of my SPY and QQQ today. Best of luck regards
[+8] u/Internal_Field5970: https://www.independent.co.uk/bulletin/news/kristi-noem-husband-cross-dressing-allegations-b2949544.html
Calls on Grndr as I said this morning
[+8] u/ThinCrusts: I'm worried some bs is gonna come out between now and tomorrow fucking up this momentum
[+8] u/NotMe357: "JUST IN: Warren Buffett says he has not spoken to Bill Gates "since the whole thing" with the Epstein files was revealed."
He knows how to not get STD lol
[+8] u/Murky-Gas-7976: Lost half port today
[+8] u/optimal_909: The question when DJT does yet another 180 and does his nonsense invasion with huge losses. I am betting next weekend.
[+8] u/Hairy_Check_4784: does the iran president have calls or some shit
[+8] u/Ethan0941: So the market pumped today because there was news Iran’s president said he wanted to negotiate but no one can find the source?
[+8] u/Jadeclone1: Turns out oracle layoffs today was actually to save employee lives
[+8] u/CUbuffGuy: We pump all day while oil rises/flat. Then oil dumps AH and we move down with it. Literally broke the market
[+8] u/Brief_Challenge_1163: * So, tomorrow, 12:30 EST is when Iran Tech strikes will supposedly happen.
* Iran allegedly says it would be willing to work on a peace deal, if it had guarantees/ could trust the deal, and it does not trust trump / US
* China and Pakistan came up with a peace plan, but will Trump allow China to negotiate peace for him?
* Hegsdeth says he will continue to bomb
* So when does trump tweet?
* More importantly, we pump or crash?
[+8] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: i would put money that we open tomorrow and the next day, but somehow have a feeling that we dont open the day after that
[+8] u/kazekagegaaraa: The move. The move is to go bankrupt.
[+8] u/Apple2o: Iran declaring war on Apple and Microsoft but not Lockheed Martin / Raytheon is big kek
[+8] u/pixi88: What executive order? Why do we need to watch this man sign shit lmaoo
[+8] u/Muted-South4737: I have never actually read a user agreement I've signed.
[+8] u/Issa_vibe74: Sideways tomorrow to fuck everybody
[+8] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: GO GET YOUR OWN OIL...LMAO 🇺🇸
[+8] u/AcademicStandard3701: I tried to tell you guys data centers are bearish. Websites are down and Iran are attacking them PUTS
[+8] u/Confident-Window4928: That’s all we get for a pump on peace talks? Imagine the smell if 🥭 goes back on it
[+8] u/lemongreentea42: As an asian who just woke up, can someone enlighten me what happen overnight? Why is s&p up so much
[+8] u/ThermalChaser: April fools day came early bol r fuk tomorrow
[+8] u/Knightguard1: Every time I think the markets won't be fooled by Trump this time...
[+8] u/bhaaaaaaa: Sold everything that wasn't a USO call today and bought USO calls today. That is all.
[+8] u/bearhunter429: #I'm gonna become a recruiter at a big company and ghost people all day LMAO🤌
[+8] u/WhatAreYouSaying05: I wonder what Iran is planning for April Fool’s day?
[+8] u/WordsHappenedHere: Permabears always doubling down at the bottom. Then they lose all their gains. No price is ever low enough for them. So they lose. Year after year. After year. Because the stock market is designed to appreciate over time. That’s just a simple fact. You need to be taking those put profits and averaging into SPY over time.
You demand to be rich in 1 year instead of 20.
By May we will be back to the “AI bubble” posts. And they’ll still be losing.
[+8] u/Ok_Ambassador_4311: About to be 32 in 2 weeks and I’m still buying 0DTEs. I’m a degen
[+8] u/SlfImpr: President Trump just answered a reporter's question a min ago (about $4 gas prices) with this:
>**"All I have to do is leave Iran, and we'll be very leaving soon...and if France or some other country wants to get oil or gas, go to Strait of Hormuz..."**
EDIT:
1. I think he also said in 2-3 weeks but I didn't catch that because I was typing this..
2. He just said "Iran doesn't have to make a deal for us to end our operation...in a fairly short time, we'll be finished..."
[+8] u/_Netgirth: We’re so back, I mean down like -30% ytd but so back baby
[+8] u/kodaksdad2020: They’re taking Nike behind the wood shed
[+8] u/NewDawn101: 🥭 has declared victory and leaving Iran in 10 days
[+8] u/DatsMaPurse_IDKU: Quiet everyone, he’s about to do something stupid.
[+8] u/Equivalent-Quail138: I'm going to start telling my boss I'm 2 to 3 weeks away from finishing my projects
[+8] u/zuziannka: Dump this shit already
[+8] u/JernauG: Who’s coming with me to go and fetch some oil
[+8] u/Wise-Comb8596: This guy is fuckin regarded
[+8] u/Azulasgirlfriend: Microplastics in balls directly linked to bimbofication fetish- NIH
[+8] u/NotMe357: "Trump: Iran doesn't have to do a deal before the US ends military operations in Iran"
[+8] u/zestykite: just remember we got alllllllllll night for this thing to fall apart
[+8] u/Commercial-District1: Iran’s Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps says it will begin striking US technology and financial companies in the Middle East beginning on Wednesday in response to ongoing US-Israeli attacks.
https://aje.news/hnjlh9
[+8] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: Market cucked me today. Still up 300 for the year. Got cocky with winning so much with puts recently, and I got humbled.
[+8] u/stupidber: Imagine taking out a 240 month loan on a $50k fishing boat at like 9%. People actually do this.
[+8] u/Actual_Difference617: If he is saying 2-3 weeks, it will be at least 2 months before this ends. And I don’t think its gonna end nice and dandy.
[+8] u/Fearless-Hat-3272: Full TACO. Now he is saying that Iran doesn't even have to make a deal, but if they cause any problems, we will be back and obliderate everything, blah blah blah
They have no military but hold the strait
[+8] u/Jadeclone1: This feels like one giant misdirection. Long weekend is perfect for boots on the ground.
[+8] u/freehouse_throwaway: the loss porn on both calls and puts on the front page today is *chef's kiss*
[+8] u/NOKIABUMPS69: I blacked out after 57 jack and cokes during Super Bowl and just woke up. Can any one tell me what’s happened?
[+8] u/RelationshipShort460: trump has really outdone himself here. I'm waiting for hannity to spin this as complete and total victory.
[+8] u/BigBasedGrifter69: Is a deep Iran World Cup run priced in?
[+8] u/ajr901: Puts. This rally can't hold unless everything somehow goes back to how it was seemingly overnight. Oil isn't going to start flowing again from destroyed wells and refineries. Shipping insurance companies aren't going to lower the premiums back to where they previously were overnight. And the 50k troops we flew out there aren't out there for nothing. Oh and Friday's jobs report isn't expected to be good news.
[+8] u/Front-Cantaloupe1969: Rug pull is tomorrow right? I don't check truth social.
[+8] u/ryan1826: bers were very quiet and kept to themselves today, it was kinda nice for a change.
[+8] u/GMEThrowaway2: Microsoft hasn’t been this low since Nov 2023. People will still use Excel after the war ends, this is free money long term. What am I missing besides brain cells?
[+8] u/bigmeatbag: Donnie gonna send it to 660 buy open
[+8] u/smart_doge: I am only trusting this week until Thursday. I don’t trust anything over the long weekend and after.
[+8] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: IRGC is gonna come out swinging tonight to destroy bulls who didn't sell their calls
[+8] u/Bright-Revolution496: Get yourself a girl with big tiddies. If she doesn’t have em, buy em with the money you stole from all the dumbass bears
[+8] u/Tillfatfire: April fool bull fully fuck
[+8] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Welp pack it up bers. The downturn is over
[+8] u/MagJack: have they told him what it is yet
[+8] u/Ok_Persimmon9849: ATH off of what? Bers might actually be safe they have some of you trapped trapped omg
[+8] u/bigmeatbag: They'll just go to Hormuz and get it
[+7] u/sloanemonroe: I can see it now. For the next two months mengo says, “we are leaving and we don’t care about the strait.” Meanwhile they don’t leave
[+7] u/Erieztoys: Made money today, however still down YTD and do not really see anything to be bullish about.
[+7] u/J-E-S-S-E-: If you bought Nike 10 YEARS AGO you’re down like 25% lmao wow
[+7] u/WombatShwambat: The 🥭 is so serious about easing tensions that he is sending a third aircraft carrier to the Middle East. Bullish
[+7] u/Kind-Recognition4528: Persian Rugs for tomorrow
[+7] u/Curious-Visual4525: Im still in my oil stocks.
They could dump but you guys have to much faith in 🥭
[+7] u/rampagepete: Sounds more like the Strait of Poor Dudez in here, don’t fight the macro
[+7] u/guosongtao: As a bull I just want to ask one thing,
What happened?
[+7] u/FearlessStatement144: If you bulltards had order flow on a chart I promise you, you wouldn’t be that excited right now
[+7] u/iFiredIce: How red ya guys think the market goes if Iran just starts bombing all those tech companies they listed tomorrow?
[+7] u/Shah_Zam: I just need a 5% drop tomorrow and im even for the year!??
[+7] u/Naive-Suit3916: Remember the market is closed on Friday
[+7] u/XorAndNot: option traders being shaked off the dog like fleas
[+7] u/DeepestWinterBlue: Today is pay day that’s why it’s green
[+7] u/JaraxxusPS4: Market literally forgot ground forces are on the way
[+7] u/Time-Cardiologist906: Bulls are so loud you’d think we’d be up on YTD
[+7] u/Glittering_Let6527: So 🥭 figured his 🌮 isn't working anymore, so he decided to fake iranian 🌮 by posting some phantom tweet no one can even find, right?
[+7] u/smart_doge: # What Oil Crisis?
^(_said dumbledore calmly_)
[+7] u/Gom_KBull: Imagine destroying the global economy by blowing up a school full of kids
and telling the ENTIRE world "I'm out, but you're welcome."
[+7] u/CUbuffGuy: I'm really about to hold shorts for Thursday overnight... I'm so fucked but I have to do it
[+7] u/pinghing: Massive green rally? ✅
Kristi noem lore? ✅
Gas price rising in the background? ✅
[+7] u/Actual_Difference617: US market has Regard Strength.
[+7] u/Fast-Steak-7730: Oil not budging after the pump is sussy Baka
[+7] u/stupidber: Has anyone checked on u/31andnotdone she might be homeless now
[+7] u/No-Row-Boat: My portfolio went up 7% today and I have no clue why, it's fine..
[+7] u/Internal_Field5970: Bers quickly compiling all negative headlines to save their puts
[+7] u/NeighborhoodDry1821: Got $568P may1, 4 minutes before Shrek
[+7] u/KindlyTie6602: I’d like to say that I may not be rich, but I’m rich in friends. But I’m not rich in that either.
[+7] u/Wild_Cheesecake_6630: I must be the most regarded person, lol, I sold my calls at a lost in the morning pump, thinking it would drop like yesterday and get puts, and now I’m even more in the red, if tomorrow we don’t dump a little I will leave this shit for good
[+7] u/BullyMog: Any other regards in here buy puts before close?
Just me? Fuck.
[+7] u/ConsiderationKey1658: I might actually go outside for a little bit
[+7] u/Far_Addition1210: Interceptions in Bahrain
[+7] u/aftherith: I was wearing Nikes and they just sort of vanished you guys. I got a "sneaker foreclosure" notification in my email and now I have to walk home barefoot.
[+7] u/NebulaBorn6389: Ion trust it, ion trust it one bit
[+7] u/Hellmale: Bought few cheap puts
[+7] u/thetalentedmrbowser: This market is a wahzee, it’s a woozy
[+7] u/dash_trash4255: That dude had HUGE tits. Any bigger and she’d have to kill those puppies. Why was she so mad?!
[+7] u/BluePuts: When you quadruple down on short positions thinking there’s no fucking way we have a 3% day
[+7] u/tgff333: This regard says he doesn't signal while driving cause can't have anyone knowing his next move 💀
[+7] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: There are actual people on youtube swearing that Nike is a buy all day long
[+7] u/BarbellPadawan: Three pressers in 3 business days. That’s 75% of the pressers 😴 held in a calendar year, but with about 1/50th of the information.
[+7] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: NKE CFO still blaming tariffs lmao
bro we moved onto AI fears and war in 2026
you’re slow af
[+7] u/CompleteChemical4198: " a little detour" back to 500
[+7] u/NoodHigga69: What if Iran took part in market manipulation after seing mangolito do it repeatedly?
[+7] u/nvidia69420: Just two more weeks left 😉😜
[+7] u/Future_Chipmunk_7897: Ideas to balance the federal budget: Next President sells the right to swing a sledgehammer at the WH ballroom for $1000 each.
[+7] u/zuziannka: How is this is not bearish? He talking about hitting and shit
[+7] u/LiveMotivation: Same stuff 🥭 . Stop stringing us along. Relief rally today, back to business tomorrow
[+7] u/AdjustDeezNutz: Rip to that guy that went in on nke calls
[+7] u/twostroke1: Why didn’t Nike say something about AI shoes to pump their stonk? are they retarded?
[+7] u/NewDawn101: Oh yeah the war is done, he has moved on to something completely different
[+7] u/All_FIREdUp: If ya’ll knew what I knew…
Let’s just say, good luck and I hope you have a healthy emergency fund 🫡
[+7] u/Plane-Research1843: AI must have been modeled after 🥭says wrong things very confidently
[+7] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: 18 point pump today on spy is Britney Spears level crazy
[+7] u/Any_Life_6178: Listen to this guy…
We. Are. So. Fucked.
[+7] u/Unique_Zucchini1041: Don’t worry I bought puts for tm so that means we pump more
[+7] u/Jadeclone1: "Iran does not have to make deal for US to end war" - Trump
[+7] u/No_Fig_7835: lol almost no pump on the "2 to 3 weeks" news.
[+7] u/wbradford00: Trump said the 2 week thing. We're so fucking cooked bro after the holiday weekend
[+7] u/LeupMeisterGenral: I want to remind you all everything is priced in
[+7] u/Unique_Zucchini1041: Apparently oil pumps and so does the SPY
[+7] u/iGotStuckIn: 🌮 time!!
Lil bitch Mango chickens out again. Iran defeated him.
[+7] u/Whiterossy: Yeah this was the fakest bounce ever, oil still above $100 so we aren’t going anywhere. So much damage was done, even if the strait opens TODAY and the White House posts a picture of Khamenei’s son sucking trumps dick, that doesn’t repair all the refinery infrastructure overnight… Oil price remains elevated for the rest of the year, causing inflation and rate hikes which means next 6-8 months we go down regardless of what happens now.
[+7] u/Nice-Difference8641: It’s 2 weeks to stop the spread all over again
[+7] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: Yea.. oil will still likely hit $125. We may or may not see $150.. but sure as heck $125 we will.
[+7] u/Mediocre_Pangolin572: Wars back on the menu boys
[+7] u/Urzuck: It would be extremely funny it after this clownshow he actually sent the troops.
[+7] u/Any_Life_6178: Bah gawd here comes brent crude
[+7] u/NotMe357: Oil is bombing...errr....I mean pumping!
[+7] u/jay4281: Ah yes the ‘ol oil pump and SPY pump who couldn’t have seen this one coming
[+7] u/Subject_Delay5447: No worries guys. Iran probably requested a third aircraft carrier in the deal. Totally normal. Still bullish
[+7] u/spudbro00: If he’s saying 2 to 3 weeks, shits gonna get spicy this weekend for the 3 day weekend with market closed
[+7] u/NOKIABUMPS69: If you aren’t short the rest of the week after that trap today idk what to tell you
[+7] u/Axonum: Bought calls before close. Now we dump
[+7] u/Technicaltrades404: Honestly, 🥭is so cocky. Oil prices will humble his base soon.
[+7] u/DanqueLeChay: Saw the picture of Kristi and her bimbofied husband…who’s who again?
[+7] u/PopularCut4124: Is the strait open yet
[+7] u/borkdpasito: yAsia trade today will be very interesting
Oil supply shock getting worse there every day.
🥭 saying 2-3 weeks left and not confirming that he will bother to open the strait, which could leave it under Iran’s control.
Iran threaten to bomb big tech tomorrow. 🥭 threaten to destroy energy and desal plants next week.
IRGC continue to rebuke any claim of direct negotiations.
Kuwait tanker with 2 million barrels of oil on board was struck by Iran while in dock yesterday and set on fire.
WHY THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE BUYING HAHAHA
[+7] u/Clean-Director-7340: fucking 3% tweet, unreal.
[+7] u/tabrizzi: Another warship is heading that way, yet stocks are up because of hopium. I'll be watching from the sidelines.
[+7] u/AlmightyCheesusCrust: Ber: *BUT MUH HORMUZ*
[+7] u/aftherith: The most painful thing and the most profitable for the options writers would be to keep this thing pumping the rest of the week and decimate everyone including myself that bought puts today.
[+7] u/niaqr: Breaking: Concept of a framework of a peace deal reached. SPY up bigly in after hours
[+7] u/maikaubay: April fools' day, don't be fooled.
[+7] u/Mindless-Week-1250: I can stay solvent longer than this market can stay regarded. Holding all of my May expiration puts
[+7] u/aftherith: At the walk-in clinic. 23rd on the list for a butthole transplant.
[+7] u/sylphvanas: Up $20k today but feel almost as bad as losing $10k yesterday because I sold too early
[+7] u/Al-phabitz89: So Iran taco’d and 🥭 nuked bears instead
🤣🤣🤣
[+7] u/incaseofmisuse: I am too poor to buy or sell spx options. I have to stick to the poor man spy.
[+7] u/NeighborhoodDry1821: Quite the rescue mission last day of the month
[+7] u/lamechud: Dudes will really drop thousands on designer clothes and jewelry instead of just losing weight
[+7] u/shortitforever: Bulls tomorrow: “Hey guys, I guess that’s it”🤯
[+7] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: We dump again tomorrow
[+7] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: 9 min into a meeting with a commercial lender and the edible just hit
[+7] u/2020isgreat: People just reading too much into this it's just quarter end rebalancing fuckery
[+7] u/Twelvesthegreat: Lost a good chunk of my portfolio as a bear, but my options last within the next months so I'm not concerned, I know this is just a fake pump
[+7] u/Zeppu: Buy and hold is dead
[+7] u/Gameoverbotch: How are they going to spin the news bullish when iran attack the data centres of the mag 7?
[+7] u/VisualMod: **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/astromouse2024** bet **SPY** goes from **650.11** to **629.0** before **06-Apr-2026 06:08 PM EDT**
Their record is 1 wins and 14 losses.
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+6] u/mds30c: I think this is a trap. No way we don’t put boots on the ground with all the troops we are moving to the area.
[+6] u/BreakingBadBones: Why has orange sent thousands of soldiers if hes not gonna deploy them for good?
[+6] u/mannycalls24: 100% red tmr because I held my calls like a regard
[+6] u/dinokoenoko: Buls gonna learn how a proper taco is made by the master himself
[+6] u/sleepygarner: Genuinely impressed by how retarded this whole situation is.
[+6] u/pmurt007: SPY +3% day because it can and fuck your puts
[+6] u/SlfImpr: Even if we just get up and leave, and Iran charges toll, the math isn't too bad.
**Math on Iranian toll/surcharge:**
* Iranian $2M/tanker toll= $1/barrel (a typical tanker caries 2 million barrels of oil)
* Wouldn't the markets rather prefer $67/barrel oil ($66 + $1) vs. today's $105/barrel?
* In reality, the actual net global increase: just $0.20/barrel, since only 20% of oil goes through Hormuz, **resulting in oil price of $66.20/barrel vs. $66/barrel (before war)**
[+6] u/sailorsmile: Maybe I am just retarded
[+6] u/Carfar_Farcar: Shit tanking makes too much sense so I grabbed calls to stay irrational. This, of course, means tomorrow the red drill will go through the fucking mantle.
[+6] u/Suavecore_: I got downvoted this morning saying bears lost all their money but now they DEFINITELY lost it all
[+6] u/Frozen_Shades: Wait....is the war just AI?
[+6] u/Internal_Field5970: Past 2 months I was CEO that buys Bitcoin as a job retarded
Today I’m electric car company rocketship social media CEO retarded
[+6] u/Ok_Cry7572: Dubai real estate investors in shambles😂😂
[+6] u/CEO-of-SOXL: Who else sold calls at 345pm and bought puts?
[+6] u/tech2887: Fuck it. Just bought $649 puts for April 10 expiry
[+6] u/Dongkey_kong: What a horseshit day lol. I was promised economic collapse
[+6] u/1M-to-Zero: Dow surges 1,100 points, S&P 500 posts best day since May as hopes grow for end of Iran war: Live updates
[+6] u/dontslambro: The real pump happens when they actually cut a deal. Oil finished 1% down. If it gets back into the high 80s we start cookin
[+6] u/bearhunter429: #I remember bers calling for "second leg down" the entire time from March-October of 2020 and missing out the whole thing LMAO🤌
[+6] u/vincenorristm: Same time next year bears?
[+6] u/Nice-Difference8641: To be fair I think people were just looking for a reason to buy and everyone smart knows pezeshkian’s statement isn’t anything, but bought anyway because we sold too much
[+6] u/osendze: Bers ty for your service, let’s do this again
[+6] u/looool_k_libtard: Only 2 more months of days like today and I’ll be back to October levels!
[+6] u/Leaguefizzics: If you didn’t see the daily til now you’d think the war ended
[+6] u/LaserAid69: A wise man once said the stock market makes the greedy poor but the very greedy, rich.
[+6] u/Ok_Cry7572: I think flat day Tomm and then red Thursday
[+6] u/nyse25: They’re making me do stuff at my job 😔
[+6] u/-IQ200: February P&L: $6513.19
March P&L: ($6385.61)
Market giveth & taketh. Up $127 in the past 2 month tho. 🤡
[+6] u/callsonreddit: Think imma mostly go cash overnight
Usually red day after SPY +3% right?
[+6] u/killainvest: My YTD is soooo ugly but it was so nice to win one today. Let’s go!!!!!!
[+6] u/TheBooneyBunes: What the fuck happened today? Did the war end? 3% jump in one day for SPY?!
[+6] u/aftherith: The war has concepts of ending
[+6] u/Round-Huckleberry570: My account is officially tapped out until next month
[+6] u/kenathen: most bullish day in 2026
[+6] u/vinnuboy09: Tomorrow I am going to take PUT calls.
[+6] u/greyenlightenment: the market decides when the war stops mattering. which is well before it actually ends
[+6] u/Snowman0357: Let’s wrap this up Iran. We’ve got Cuba to get to and then North Korea.
Then we can return to all time highs and the threat of China will sustain the military industrial complex.
[+6] u/h4bs22: Puts was so last week. Time to pump
[+6] u/throwingitanyway: the iran war was all a ruse by trump to crash the price of gold* so he could build his ballroom cheaper
[+6] u/VisualMod: **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/yuruclip** bet **QQQ** goes from **576.8** to **547.96** before **02-Apr-2026 04:59 PM EDT**
Their record is 0 wins and 0 losses.
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[+6] u/Previous_Hope_2087: For April I’m gonna try not to jork it once. I don’t think I’ve ever gone a full month without doing it. Gonna give it a try.
[+6] u/Brodieischeese: Full ported into (A) 646 put. And yes this was a full port
[+6] u/Leibnizinventedittoo: I have applied for futures trading. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
[+6] u/kazkeb: A lot of people found out the hard way today that FOMO can happen in both directions
[+6] u/2020isgreat: Wait they're taking away Trumps' ballroom we're fucked. Not winning the peace prize caused Iran this shit about to cause a nuke to be dropped
[+6] u/Seymour_asis501: I’m not ready for the amount of fake outs tomorrow
[+6] u/AllianceOrTheHorde: I've heard that Canada is gonna invade the US tomorrow
[+6] u/StandardDot5115: bears be like "gonna work on my thesis today" and proceed to write 3000 words of rambling perfect dominoes hypothetical apocalypse
bulls be like "stocks go up weee" and make money
[+6] u/eoiioe: Tommorow we get one of these;
A new pandemic
Baron is the new leader of 🇮🇷
Elon invents flying oil tankers
Ballroom is made from gold
[+6] u/papichuloya: Stonks
Only
Goes
Up
Put that on your poster/shirt/tattoo
[+6] u/Valkorion335786: #LVL 1. Inside trader (Pete) vs LVL 99 Stock Market boss (Pelosi)
[+6] u/Icommandyou: We had a +3% day so call me a ber but doubts same thing happens tomorrow over fake peace deals. Well everyone is regarded so who knows buy calls at open
[+6] u/Ok-Indication-3754: Okay so oil is on its way back ul
[+6] u/Pretty_Dragonfly_716: I ain’t doing shit tomorrow. Turned $250
Into 10K gonna eat a steak and just boring invest
[+6] u/Sad-Airman: Hey everyone, go all in with calls it's safe now. Just 1-2% days everyday for the rest of the year. Lows are over. Thank you!
[+6] u/nordik1: lol @ the chodes sitting at their desk staring at charts all day and running algos when all u have to do is see if Trump feigns the war being over or not that day
here’s ur cheat sheet:
🥭 says we are invading: market tanks, invest heavily for the rebound
🥭 says ceasefire talks could be imminent: get ready for incredibly predictable regarded upswing because the market is made up of 5 year olds
congrats go buy a rari now
[+6] u/mardigrasmoker: It occurred to me last night that the US has no move from here. If we just up and leave Iran is just going to enact a tool in yuan. I’d imagine China would also try to come play hero for the GCC countries. Our dominance in the ME and over oil is dead.
If we invade we probably get stuck in another 20 year war. Except this time we have no support. From anyone.
Or we keep bombings going indefinitely and continue to destroy the infrastructure that supplies oil to the rest of the world and inevitably Iranian civilian infrastructure.
I trust 🥭 will make the right decision.
[+6] u/AegonTheMeh: Nike falling despite beating earnings?
Foolish, they should have fired 30,000 people instead. Are they dumb?
[+6] u/WorkingCorrect1062: Bibi won't allow ceasefire?
[+6] u/trsx5: Man he's looking old.
[+6] u/IndependentUsual7444: Its over it's not over it's over it's not over snip snap snip snap
[+6] u/Lastchoicename: It was my fault, I finally bought puts. Thankfully one of my actual stocks went up all I got that going for me, which is nice.
[+6] u/stupidber: When ber tells you they work in tech it means they steal TVs
[+6] u/Fast-Steak-7730: Today’s pump reminds me of last year and you know how quick things can change to the downside lol
[+6] u/LeBhikariLe: one more day like today META, pretty please
[+6] u/Pristine_Afternoon96: Pump tmrw and Thursday crash over the weekend because we invade
[+6] u/Independent_Drop4317: Lmao spy went up $20 in less than 24hrs from the lows.
[+6] u/Locke_____Lamora: Days like today are what makes me realize how retarded I truly am. I missed the entire move and I'm still in all cash.
[+6] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: if you are not gambling your life savings this shit is actually really cool
[+6] u/IntrepidToday0: I made $7k today, but pissed it wasn’t $50k. I’m such a pussy sometimes. Fuck
[+6] u/CigInside: We have to make sure the boomers remain solvent after bankrupting everything else in this nation
[+6] u/Ok_Cry7572: Guys I need a girlfriend. Help me get one. I just sit inside and trade for now so I don't really go outside. Where to find one?
[+6] u/Normal-Phase-1252: yall saw the tiger woods profile pic and still went long nke…
[+6] u/No-Improvement3164: NKE going to zero. Who wears that shit these days.
[+6] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: Let this stand as a lesson: never give up your nuclear arsenal.
[+6] u/PaperHandsTheDip: **Conspiracy time**: Iran is getting paid by insiders to announce that they have the "will the end the war"
[+6] u/AlarmedPelican: I don't like the guy but he is so fucking funny
[+6] u/enlightenedfarmboy: Can for April fools just as a joke can I have all the money I've ever lost back I promise I'll give it back at the end of the day
[+6] u/cheddarkittyy: [https://www.aa.com.tr/en/middle-east/iran-s-president-says-decision-to-end-war-must-guarantee-people-s-security-interests-/3885608](https://www.aa.com.tr/en/middle-east/iran-s-president-says-decision-to-end-war-must-guarantee-people-s-security-interests-/3885608)
Iran’s President Masoud Pezeshkian said Monday that any decision to end the war with the US and Israel must “guarantee the security and interests of the Iranian people.”
I'm very confused, iran's president said yesterday they will end the war if us and isreal guarantees security and stops attacking. why suddenly today when they said the same thing again markets suddenly believed it
[+6] u/ercanbas: Tomorrow is either 660 or 640
[+6] u/Voltthrower69: They’re buying puts for sure
[+6] u/Total_Schedule591: Master of the air accordion 🤲
[+6] u/OrdinaryMix4013: this fukin retard claims he has saved 8 wars so why the fuck havent you havent you finish this one dumb motherfuck lmao
[+6] u/Weak_Emu3659: "and we're leaving iran, they begged us to leave - like dogs."
[+6] u/Fantastic_Pirate3948: I think when you just get up and leave a war? That’s called losing
[+6] u/MitchellMcconnel: Tomorrow Orange be like : " April fools, the war is never ending"
[+6] u/RoninKnight17: I’m sorry guys I bought calls
[+6] u/zetia2: $670 open tomorrow
Iran will announce ceasefire tonight
[+6] u/GuwopGOAT: I bought puts guys the market is gonna soar tomorrow. 😉
[+6] u/nknk_3: Today's rally was stupid. That is all i have to say
[+6] u/Expensive-Big-8725: can someone explain why we're going uppies alongside oil
[+6] u/BreakingBadBones: Do we think red tomorrow? Has this same cycle occured in the past?
[+6] u/AfraidAnalyst: Oh man the mango interviews are going to be insane.
“See BEST market, STRONGEST rally “
[+6] u/Independent-Tree-985: youre right, everything is digital these days
who wants to remember a wallet in 2026
[+6] u/aftherith: I hope he's ordering put refunds
[+6] u/Bright-Revolution496: When I see these comments, it makes me wish I’d worked on a trading floor. Arguing with you guys is fun
[+6] u/BarbellPadawan: All Iran’s conditions are literally non-starters for the US, exception *maybe* being the halting of hostilities.
[+6] u/rampagepete: Israel ain’t halting nothing. It’s a rogue nation run by fundamentalist fascists
[+6] u/TreeofLibertyFood: My dearest Harambe:
Please smite these sinners with a big thicc veiny red drill tomorrow. One as long and flaccid as yours once was. In your name I remorsefully pray. Ramen.
[+6] u/diefy7321: Someone please keep his mouth going
[+6] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: Okay but the sub is bullish now, so puts?
[+6] u/NeedToMakeMoneyz: So basically a forever war with Iran?
[+6] u/AirportMaterial5917: what'd they threaten them with. BB ghuns?!?!
[+6] u/Used-Bedroom-3763: The art of the deal guys 😂
[+6] u/apurimac777: Protip: if you are fucking tired of buring through your gambling money buy a dividend fund like JEPI / JEPQ with it and delete the app
[+6] u/qui_tam_gogh: what the hell just happened
[+6] u/Longjumping_Rip_690: If you didn't load on puts today, you hate money..
[+6] u/Different_Being368: Fuck you scam market, you win today
[+6] u/Weak_Emu3659: If a capital gain isn't reported and no one is around, does it make a sound?
[+6] u/Stockengineer: Fucking Cramer literally called the bottom :S
[+6] u/ercanbas: Donald Hussein Trump
[+6] u/borkdpasito: 🥭: 2-3 more weeks and it’s over
Also 🥭: deploying an aircraft carrier that takes 2-3 weeks to arrive in the Gulf
[+6] u/TheMightySet69: Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf, you fucked me!
[+6] u/SchwiftySchwifferson: All you retail dipshits better not buy my NIKE dip. Let it dip
[+5] u/Bright-Revolution496: Every time I’m positive the market is going to tank and recede, I know everything will just casually turn around. So I just hold and do nothing.
[+5] u/Previous_Hope_2087: I found someone in the insider trading group text https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/s/L1GlQljG0N
[+5] u/Odd_Zookeepergame_69: Depends on what the Jaundiced Jesus decides to tweet tonight
[+5] u/Thick-Monk-969: So 🥭says the war is over again and this time it’s the truth? I’m still seeing articles about more bombs being dropped and more troops on the way but the war is for sure over this time?
[+5] u/Fhyzikz: Already up 50% on an MU cash secured put I sold this morning. Jesus christ. I am closing that shit tomorrow at open immediately
[+5] u/SomePolack: I just lost big on fertilizer
Fuck my life man
[+5] u/greyenlightenment: this is why shorting tech is so dangerous
[+5] u/International_Bee653: It looks like Iranian missiles hit Twitter RIP
[+5] u/Camusknuckle: Frankly I believe we will go up a bit more before going down more than a bit more. Afterwards I imagine we will go up a lot more but the timeline is a little hazy.
[+5] u/Particular_Tip985: Michael burry was right just like the movie
[+5] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: Have you heard the demands they are making? they are no different than before, control of hormuz, payment for the damages, stopping attacks on Iran and proxies
[+5] u/bb483: Removing the urge to be married to a position 💎. It’s called trader not holder
[+5] u/somecleverphrase: I keep getting marine recruitment ads in reddit today... must be hurting for people. I was hoping they would leave the comments on. I bet they would put some patriotic hang downs in there.
[+5] u/BarbellPadawan: So glad we were *just as* victorious as Pyrrhus in this war.
[+5] u/OrdinaryMix4013: exactly what jesus would have wanted.. .boots on the ground to invade another country right on easter when moms are out looking hot as hell lookin for a man to fuk while children play in the playground.
[+5] u/Lurk_Maximus: Days like this makes me glad I have thyme in the market
[+5] u/BreakingBadBones: Wish i bought yesterday lol. Am i the only one mourning my mistake?
[+5] u/New-Length5593: Way too bullish in here. Good thing I bought calls at close 🤡
[+5] u/shmito17: The market isn’t the economy; but my god is retail completely dead.
[+5] u/genjky: Selling 629Ps and sleeping like a baby now.
[+5] u/GenesGeniesJeans: Thank god this day is over I got hosed
[+5] u/neutralpoliticsbot: Micro Russell futures /M2K are better than options.
**No PDT rules:** trade all day and night with no limits.
**No Theta decay:** unlike options, you can hold and roll futures contracts forever.
**Tax benefits:** futures are 60% long-term / 40% short-term, Options are 100% short term gain.
**No IV risk:** VIX volatility and IV crush, can't fuck you with futures.
**Bid–ask spreads:** An options trader paying $0.20 in spread needs a ~20%+ option move just to break even.
**Small margin requirement:** on /ES (E-Minis) you need $26,000 margin to hold a contract.
On Micro Russell 2000 (/M2K) you only need $1,100 cash to hold and still provides a nice 10.7x leverage. Huge drawdowns are not that scary.
Options (IV) vs Realized Volatility (RV) premium: 99% of options are overpriced 10%+ and you are underwater as soon as you buy.
Market makers are laughing at options buyers.
[+5] u/vandalofnation: Elevator down my ass. Markets crash upwards and grind downwards. I couldnt imagine ever seeing a 2.5% down day lol. Is that like nvda going bankrupt or kraken swallowing manhattan.
[+5] u/Marshmallowmind2: Someone did say that 401ks auto buy on 31st March and it would go up. Idk
[+5] u/Vega10000: Imagine Trump tries an April Fools joke that crashes the market. "We're invading Europe instead"
[+5] u/vermilli21: Does IRAN know about April Fools day? Seems like it’s setting up to be a joke on 🥭
[+5] u/No_Tie9686: market went up quite a bit today. probably means it's going down tomorrow.
[+5] u/Snowman33001: Bears, if you love Iran so much, why don’t you marry it?
[+5] u/Moepenmoes: April 1st could do the funniest thing ever to the market tomorrow after this bullish day
[+5] u/NlNJANEER: Did oil not get the memo orr…
[+5] u/Covered_claw: What the absolute FUCK happened today? Why did we pump?
[+5] u/Subject_Delay5447: If Epstein’s list included Iranian big names, we wouldn’t be going through all this shit
[+5] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: Donnie has a chance to do the *funniest* thing
[+5] u/TheRealArmament: If you lost money today you deserved it (fuk u gey ber)
[+5] u/Fineous400: Please MU and TSLA go back to ATH before the weekend!
[+5] u/Ok-Indication-3754: Market looking for an after hours dump
[+5] u/sftheory: Was positioned extremely bearish at the start of a 3% day and walked away with an $11 gain. Ill take it.
[+5] u/Bright-Revolution496: Trust your gut. If it feels delicious to buy something, you’re getting hosed. If it feels like drinking poison, brother, you’ve found your horse.
[+5] u/parallelogramm3r: $630 or $656 tomorrow?
[+5] u/Lapidated_Llama: I feel like these are just shows put on so 🥭 and his buddy’s can buy cheap. One big party and we’re not apart of it.
[+5] u/WiseIndustry2895: Nike next Payless shoes? Can’t pay Americans workers $1.00 to make shoes lol
[+5] u/hopewellroad: Is it legal to do insider trading if you end up losing money? Asking for a friend…
[+5] u/Wide_Bonus3157: I dont get this dang market. WDYM 3%
[+5] u/No_Fig_7835: Has anyone asked how Hormuz Strait feels about all this? Feel like we hear a lot from Iran, US, and Israel but nothing for Hormuz Strait, poor guy.
[+5] u/Unemployable1593: won’t someone please think of the ballroom 😩
[+5] u/neutralpoliticsbot: 2-3 weeks to stop the spread
[+5] u/DeHunter_54: # Trump says U.S. will leave Iran in ‘two or three weeks’
[+5] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: I need a reverse card for my puts plz
[+5] u/CUbuffGuy: We will have a deal in 2 days
They have 10 days to make a deal
We don’t need to make a deal to leave
Wow sick negotiating skills bro
[+5] u/AGener0usGod: My port is getting more cucked than Kristi Noem.
[+5] u/SighRamp: ah now it's clear why oil didn't tank
Iran’s Foreign Minister Rebuts Trump Claim of Progress in Peace Talks
[+5] u/Moepenmoes: So he's calling it a win, retreats and assumes Iran will just leave the strait alone after that LMAO
[+5] u/NotMe357: "JUST IN: TACO says gas prices will come "tumbling down" as soon as the U.S. leaves Iran, which he assures will come very soon."
[+5] u/WayDry848: JUST IN: A leaked codebase reportedly shows Claude Code flags profanity in user prompts and quietly records it in a database, per unconfirmed reports.
Those who called Claude an N rise up!
[+5] u/Living-Giraffe4849: April fools tomorrow mango gonna be like “jk the war was all AI NVDA to 900”
[+5] u/Pete26l96: #WE'RE ALL GONNA MAKE IT
#EXCEPT FOR BEARS
#LOL
[+5] u/rcantu314: 3% days usually come in pairs , js
[+5] u/Snowman33001: Market is not pricing in a tamed Iran that is integrated with the world market and doesn’t murder its protestors.
Idk…crazier things have happened
[+5] u/MadeThatCash: Is anyone really waiting for the markets to close and 🥭 to tweet that the war is off??? Close those longs and open those shorts before you get margined
[+5] u/more_aero: Are we back to red tomorrow?
[+5] u/McKoijion: https://www.wsj.com/livecoverage/iran-war-news-updates/card/third-u-s-aircraft-carrier-deploys-to-middle-east-BQiAVrUaFj22m7WOtXy3
[+5] u/DownSyndromSteven: Maybe today was an April fools joke
[+5] u/dontslambro: Twitter is a major example of brain death. If it wasn’t the best place to get news I wouldn’t use it.
[+5] u/aa73gc: Everything is very subdued this last hour or so. Noone can trust shit lol
[+5] u/zuziannka: Mango going live signing executive order
[+5] u/Ok-Indication-3754: For troops on the ground or what??
[+5] u/Terrible_Act688: Remember when Bols were screaming SPY 700 EOD! Now they are celebrating SPY 650 EOD!
[+5] u/No_Fig_7835: I'm sure we wont go down at least 1% tomorrow when the 'war is over' hangover hits.
[+5] u/NewDawn101: We don’t need Iran anymore, we live in age of AI we just need clone some Dinosaurs and kill them
[+5] u/FunInteraction9796: i mean surely tomorrow dumps? like there’s no reason not to
[+5] u/xlmtothemoon: i'm holding shitcoins from 2021 doing better than nike
[+5] u/tika_dengu: with 🐻 in hibernation for the next few months, we pump through 700 and beyond
[+5] u/sunmbitch: Gain porn is disgusting
[+5] u/FabulousLanguage6216: Someone please shut his mouth
[+5] u/Ok_Cry7572: Why mango keeps saying war is over when it's not at least for the next two weeks. We still got a week or two left
[+5] u/NoHoHan: Still waiting for someone to tell me what “news” made the market pump today…
[+5] u/Captain_Lameson: This seems similar to the time most people believed that the market would dip more after the initial liberation day tariffs and bad earnings will tank the SPY but it kept shrekking up.
[+5] u/Spear_n_Magic_Helmet: cornering the market on enormous Mission Accomplished banners
[+5] u/SmoresPies: aw man i almost got excited after today but i just realized its a deadcat bounce. gg boys. get noem's husband on the line, we're gonna need to find out where he buys those big jugs
[+5] u/QuantrixQuintrix: Is the United States still fucking with Iran? RemindMe! 2 months
[+5] u/DefiantDelta: going on The App That Makes Me Angry to get my cortisol spiked with every scroll of the Make Yourself Irate machine
[+5] u/GeneratedMonkey: We need another spy pump day 1-2%
[+5] u/Candid_Payment_4094: Rick Santelli is such a turd
[+5] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: # All the countries fighting rn are super religious you regards thought they would fight this weekend LMAO
[+5] u/eoiioe: Spx shrek dildos on hope and dreams
Spx grandma speed down the stairs on reality of world crisis
I got fkd today, as you can tell
lol
[+5] u/cheatlkeachamp: Technically nothing has changed war front so could happen
[+5] u/Any_Life_6178: Bols got us Tues, but nothing different on the war front and first day of a new quarter could make Wednesday different😘
[+5] u/unanymous2288: End of q1 , fund managers can’t have cash on the side lines,
[+5] u/tortu995: If micron was trading 40% higher it would still offer the best risk/reward for any company above 50 billion mkt cap. That's how regarded it's pricing got, same goes for samsung and sk hynix.
[+5] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: Escalation in Iran currently
[+5] u/oldprecision: We are literally sending a rocket to the moon tomorrow, calls.
[+5] u/birdsaresnitches: !banbet SPY +10% 24h
[+5] u/Gameoverbotch: Tomorrow NVDA up 10%, hours after data centre in Middle East evaporated….?
[+5] u/orobsky: I closed some positions today for a few hundred bucks 😎. Time to just sit this bullshit out
[+5] u/Yogurt_Up_My_Nose: I really need to do my taxes. but I'm pretty sure I owe money.
[+5] u/NotMe357: If Future oil open below 100$ that will be great. Well...as long Israel doesn't bomb anything anymore lol
[+5] u/Soossaaaa: always be greedy when other are fearful
[+5] u/Crypto_naut_: the ballroom taking the spotlight
[+5] u/NotMe357: The real reason why TACO go to war with Iran is because of P.daddy bought all the baby oil. Now TACO need to search for other oils from around the world.
[+5] u/cDub3284: All my covered calls I sold yesterday are ITM today....awesome
[+5] u/Tigulla_SRT24: I feel like shit
Shorting SPY CRWV TER RKLB MRVL
down and counting
May be close for loss
Then we tank for sure
[+5] u/Drokeep: 🥭 probably gonna invade froday cause hes gonna try to cacth them lacking because its a holiday... bros in for a shock
[+5] u/FearlessStatement144: Cue the crown reversal. Maybe they finished googling
[+5] u/Independent-Tree-985: I guess it comes down to if the elder clergy council is willing to actually make a deal.
they appear to say no
[+5] u/WallStreetBetsCALLSS: Bers will still be talking about Iran war 3 months from now when spy is at 700
🤣🤣🤣
[+5] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: Zyn in the upper lip and Yeti cup
[+5] u/Retaining-Wall: Bers think about their parts;
Bols think about Bers.
^(and men)
[+5] u/Discount_LionSafari: Imagine falling for the 'ol April Fools pump.
[+5] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: The funiest thing ever would be that spy drops to 630 tomorrow after i sold most of my puts at a loss
[+5] u/Axwe8: # 🚨 REMINDER: TOM LEE MARKET 🐂 WAS RIGHT
[+5] u/lax_street: a lot of you would get outmaneuvered by 🥭 if you were at war with him and it shows.
[+5] u/Fine_Sock3874: you're a FRESH person 😎
[+5] u/cream_cheese_tits: Such a strong military
[+5] u/hfbvm2: Iran hasn't attacked israel in over 13 hours now. Maybe mango is right war is over. How can I invest in Iranian toll both in hormuz. Seems like huge upside
[+5] u/pooterssssssssss: That was one of THE most iconic trading days of all time. Feels a lot like April 22 2025? No one believed that move either.
[+5] u/GuwopGOAT: I don’t know how people who buy SPY FDs sleep at night lol
[+5] u/hiphopanonomos: I guess just always keep buying because even if it falls they manipulate it back up with all means possible
[+29] u/LarryStink: Flying home from work on thursday to deal with the loss of my little brother. Rip homie I wish I spent more time with you.
[+20] u/pineapplekiwipen: bears last night: scam pump this shit up so i can load cheaper puts
bears after hours today: where is the nearest soup kitchen
[+18] u/TrickyDickCheney: Some of y’all are going to lose a lot of money trusting a liar
[+17] u/FunCryptographer1893: Oil still well over 100 a barrel, yet markets are acting like Iran surrendered
[+16] u/Itchy_Election_5327: tmrw 640, thurs 660, monday 600
[+16] u/HalaMadridPapaFlo: TOM LEE: “My models are showing S&P to hit 9000 by April end.”
[+15] u/Proton404x: Broke my phone by swimming with it on accident. Lost 2.5k because I couldn't access my account lol.
\##THE FUCK WAS THOSE PUMPS TODAY ON ABSOLUTE LIES AND CORRUPTION?!?!
anyways. puts.
[+15] u/RoccoFb: A circuit breaker on april fools day would be hilarious
[+15] u/CardiologistEqual336: 🥭: “The war is over.. I just need two more weeks, or three maybe”
[+13] u/Dry-Operation6112: The president of the united states is a total fucking asshole lmao. Imagine being European reading headlines that this ally of yours started a war that choked off a large amount of oil causing you a massive energy headache and he says to deal with it yourself xD
[+13] u/Substantial-Use-2867: "Regime change in Iran was not a goal"
EXCUSE ME??? Was that not literally the whole fucking point of sneak attacking their government to wipe out all their leaders??? Like 2 days after that and the US is telling Iranian protesters to rise up? What the absolute fuck? Why is my gas up 50% then?????
[+13] u/Garbage-Disposal-938: to get this market to pump again, Hegseth will need a phrase that goes beyond "maximum lethality."
maybe something like "ultimate homicidal deathplex" or "supreme megakill intensity"
[+13] u/TheMostAverageDude: So wars over now, then wars over in 2-3 weeks, were ahead of schedule, there wasn’t a schedule, now there’s a schedule of 4-6 weeks and we’re still ahead of it, now we’re only 2-3 weeks out which makes it 7-8 weeks, which is ahead of schedule by 700, 800, 900, even 2000% depending on how you measure it, which is always from the taint.
[+12] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: Why do I think that Mango chooses his admin staff based on looks rather than experience or qualifications...
[+11] u/aphel_ion: Hey guys the deadline for Iran to open the Strait of Hormuz is April 6th. Or else Trump is going to OBLITERATE their power plants.
Remember that? Me neither.
You delay something a week or two and everyone just totally forgets about it.
[+11] u/inevitable_fallen: After today a -3% day is confirmed. 630 lotto puts.
[+11] u/potato111a: https://preview.redd.it/hjqrp6x5ngsg1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=3a159a5cd58732cc04d2906f26a7fe790520f00b
Bers today LMAO 🤌
[+11] u/astrawberryandakiwi: We dumping tomorrow or what
[+11] u/derprondo: Imagine thinking the bottom is in when the hotline and prayer thread haven't been posted yet.
[+11] u/FeverTreeCloud: Nine consecutive days of drinking 🥃 and counting 😭
[+10] u/DENIMSHORTS_840SCORE: I no bullshit had one of the coolest conversations in my life today.
I run an RV business, one of my clients was responsible for apple 1 and apple 2 computers at the beginning.
Today, 3 hours ago we went to lunch after completing a job for him....I swear on my mother's life he said that when he was trying to FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET SOUND TO COME OUT OF COMPUTERS that they had done some work with and I FUCKING QUOTE "this young punk kid named Jensen"
Blew my fucking mind. Said he wore a leather fucking jacket back then too lmao.
Insanely humbling and interesting conversation. Figured you would all get a kick out of that
[+10] u/Disconn3cted: Yeah we're close to a ceasefire but 50k marines are on their way.
[+10] u/Flea_Mac_Daddy: 🍊 manipulating the markets by alluding to a "peace deal" or that the US will leave in "2-3 weeks". Meanwhile the facts on the ground point to a ground invasion and God knows how long that will last.
Short term play is calls.
Long term play is puts.
[+10] u/claytondpark: Trump added that responsibility for keeping the Strait of Hormuz open should fall on countries that depend on it, telling reporters there is “no reason for us to do this.”
“That’s not for us. That’ll be for France. That’ll be for whoever’s using the strait,” he added.
Ehhh wtf dude 😂
Also, on a side note I've read that this was conspired with Israel to try to divert future pipelines and ports towards Israel to the Mediterranean so oil can flow through Israel.
[+10] u/kryptonyk: We’ll be leaving very soon. That’s why a 3rd aircraft carrier is on the way!
[+9] u/Dawnoftheman: Trump be lying like a mf but to be honest , I think he’s not playing when he says the end is near. The government flexed, that’s about all they wanted to do .
[+9] u/ConstantAd1: >POET Technologies reported fourth-quarter 2025 revenue of $341,202
some people here make that in a day trading options
[+9] u/Shortify: If they pump it, short it. If they dump it, go long.
You know the drill.
[+9] u/Pale-Silver-8178: Did bears close their positions? Oh wait theres nothing left to close lol
[+8] u/techlogger: The one thing about this pump. When you say the job is done and you gotta leave in a week or two regardless, why would you still continue to move dozens of thousands soldiers into the war theater?
[+8] u/frommethodtomadness: This market is so stupid. It moves up like this over a single unconfirmed call with Iran where they REITERATED THEIR CONDIITONS TO END THE WAR. There's no talking happening, this market will go back down -- and I wouldn't be shocked if Hegseth uses Good Friday to launch the ground invasion for the Christian Crusade optics.
[+8] u/coffeetrdr: holding heavy put bags... I need Pam Bondi to say "But the dow is at 46,000! That should save me.
[+8] u/HaveTwoBananas: Crazy how much hopium is propping this shit up
[+8] u/Joey-Cap: Head and shoulder pattern...head and shoulder pattern...break of neckline break of neckline
Me pushing a broken shopping cart down the sidewalk mumbling to myself
[+8] u/Iamhappilyconfused: Somehow made money on SPY puts today during that big drop that recovered instantly, I feel like neo
[+8] u/cashflow_: Why do I have to over do everything. Like I can’t just go to the casino 1-2 times a week I want to go every day 🙄
[+8] u/daddysgirl794: Gold up 8% YTD despite crashing like 5 times since January, truly a wild ride this one
[+8] u/unikuenobody: I asked for a bag at the cashier and they said they're all out because of the unusual amount of bagholders today.
[+8] u/Rare-Dragonfruit-246: Trump will do heavy shit on the long weekend
full porting puts
[+8] u/Top-Meaning2626: [and we are back](https://x.com/i/status/2039095601560723534)
[+8] u/LasyKuuga: SPY up 3% today
Oracle fired 30k employees
Imagine if Oracle fired 40k though
[+8] u/i_simp_f: Was jacking off all day what did I miss
[+8] u/StonksInvesteur: If the war ends without strait of homuz being opened, one thing for sure is that middle east oil will be traded in Yuan instead of dollar. The end of petro dollar is near because a fucking clown made it happen.
[+8] u/claytondpark: 🥭 = destruction anything he touches
[+7] u/SSMST: It’s forever cooked. 🥭 out won’t save us now.
[+7] u/baadsha: Trump claiming he wants friendly relations with Iran after killing their spiritual leader, while at the same time shit talking at every chance he gets. Iran is unlikely to forget this easily. Expect a ground invasion soon and markets to tank soon.
[+7] u/LasyKuuga: 🥭say that youll nuke Iran tmr and then later say it was a April fools joke. Itll be funny af 🙏
[+7] u/confused_teabagger: 2-3 weeks gang really celebrating and forgetting that T-Drizzle has openfaced lied many times before while putting an attack in place. A third aircraft carrier is going to the middle east. Does that sound like we are "winding things up"?
[+7] u/pineapplekiwipen: i will say i expected a bounce today but did not expect SPX to pump 3%
[+7] u/zanzebar: The thing with pretending to be a retard is eventually people will treat you like one.
[+7] u/Largeshmarge: First it was dad's stereo, now someone touched the VIX controls
[+7] u/Necessary-Lychee-486: Goddamn bulls fucking suck. I hate seeing regarded plays get rewarded.
[+6] u/jarkon-anderslammer: So did Noem's husband.
[+6] u/pineapplekiwipen: # BREAKING: PAM "DOW IS FIFTY THOU" BONDI TO REPLACE JIM "BEAR STERNS IS FINE" CRAMER AS THE HOST OF MAD MONEY
[+6] u/Mumblage: Not to be a cuck, but isn’t blowing up civilian infrastructure a war crime? Water alien 👽 nation plants and such. No?
[+6] u/DrummerCompetitive20: Now I sit with my longs and wait for red
[+6] u/FitY4rd: Wow I totally believed this cool and vigorous V today. Only up from here baby. Just gonna walk away and leave em hanging. Everything will sort itself out.
[+6] u/falken2023: 22 minutes until Asia session opens and we see if the rest of the world believes any of his shit.
[+6] u/donniedarko1010: Puts a couple weeks out at open tomorrow. I barely missed buying puts near the end of market today. Won't make the same mistake tomorrow.
[+6] u/Provolone-Jones: Oil is the canary in the coal mine, but bols cant hear
[+6] u/svpa3991: Can’t believe there’s a new generation of bag holders that believe in mystery meat cause of you guys lmao own dedicated subreddit full of “I’m not selling” 😭
[+6] u/PuzzledLeader8941: This weekends gonna be a massacre. 620,
April 7th 🫡
[+6] u/confused_teabagger: OMG! Yahoo News said that oil prices have **PLUNGED** down to $104!!! Is this predictive programming?
[+6] u/vanceraa: do I go full retard and buy MU 380/400 june 18 for cheap hmm
[+6] u/Significant_Speed854: Indexes struggled and crashed when oil was 92-94
Oil 102: no problem I’ll pump
[+6] u/Beneficial-Sail-6139: Orangie is speaking soon
[+6] u/kingRegard7: This feels like post liberation day a year ago. Half the people saying “we haven’t seen bottom yet” and the other half saying “V shape recovery”
Literally have no idea which way this will go
[+6] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: Oil DGAF about Taco anymore.
[+6] u/Hairy-Literature8672: What's with that midday pump? Lots of conviction (SPY 10m+ shares in 10 minutes) on maybes, soons, and and the same lies we've been hearing the past 3 weeks. Did I miss some definitive news from a reputable source or are traders seriously pivoting on Cheetos word this hard now? Rode puts down after the other fake pumps but this pump looked more real and trying to figure out why.
[+6] u/confused_teabagger: I just woke up from my afternoon nap and you can imagine my shock when I realized that bols actually made money! And they did it on no news at all, which is typical. I looked and oil was up as well, which could only mean one thing ...
[+6] u/Dry_Bar_4965: How do you guys fix revenge trading
[+6] u/Historical_Bother274: I salute everyone who dares to play options in this market. A single tweet or message overheard can lead to a huge pump/dump. Balls of steel
[+5] u/Illustrious_Lion7671: After tariffs this sub was full of bers crying, yet the market still went up a lot! I see the same happening now. What bers are saying may be rational, but as it turns out, this is a cassino!
[+5] u/GoogleKushforLunch: Just took a double shot of E&J open the fucking casino right now
[+5] u/GoogleKushforLunch: The hard part of detoxing from the market after things didn’t go your way
[+5] u/Ill-Expression1737: yall got donald
trumped
[+5] u/Feisty-Basis7903: bulls on parade confirmed
[+5] u/Pale-Silver-8178: The premarket method did not work today
[+5] u/Iamhappilyconfused: Oil is still going up so this shit is gonna drop like a hot sack of shit, the issue is figuring out when the market will wake up from its lunacy... could buy 90dte puts but that's no fun
[+5] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: 18 x A10 Warthogs have arrived at RAF Fairford and RAF Lakenheath, positioning for operations against the IRGC and its militias.
[+5] u/Celticsmoneyline: SNDK went up $70 today lmao
[+5] u/StocksStormTrooper: Dang 🥭 said war in Iran is going to be over in 2-3 weeks…. Bullish🚀
[+5] u/way2lazy4u: strait outta compton
[+5] u/Big_Witness: We'll find out tomorrow what happened today
[+5] u/Xzlk: Let’s all laugh at NKE who still think they’re important enough for a 4:15 report lmaoooooooooooooo
[+5] u/tombrady011235: I wear Nike every day $NKE
[+5] u/Large-Photograph-286: If iran indeed starts striking data centers, how will 🥭 delay his promise to strike critical infrastructure next week?
[+5] u/Ghost-1969: Iran completely destroyed + Iran controlling straight of Hummus = Big win for my port 🥭🚀
[+5] u/pineapplekiwipen: punch yourself in the dick when you're about to revenge trade
[+5] u/Soffatjockis: Today was... definitely a day
[+5] u/Walking72: Bessent Says U.S. Plans to Take Control of Strait of Hormuz Eventually
[+5] u/Ok_Material3073: Bull tears will be refreshing tomorrow.
[+5] u/ThinkingOfTheOldDays: If no NATO, greenland appears in play again
[+5] u/f0xinaround: Noem's man's puppies were so big he's lucky she didn't shoot him .
[+5] u/austincathelp: Feel like under covered story from today was Pakistan and China coming to the table trying to be diplomatic
[+5] u/Disconn3cted: Can someone tell Pam Bondi that NBIS is at $103 so it'll stop pumping
[+5] u/BrutusGW: What if Iran said ‘April Fool’s’
[+5] u/Joey-Cap: Everything going up tomorrow including the inverse ETFs
[+16] u/TarrifJacksonJr: -Our bombing campaign was victorious and Iran's military has been been completely wiped out and there is no more military targets
*Everybody cheers*
-Also the war will last another 3-4 weeks while we blow more shit up
*???*
-Possibly boots on the ground, maybe not...Who knows we wouldn't tell you anyway...
*ffs*
--Also we don't care if the straight is open or closed it's like so w.e at this point...why do u even care?
[+16] u/Spy300: What type of sick fuck gives a presidential speech on April fools day
[+15] u/G-IDIOTTHEMAN: This is truly a 🤡 market.
[+14] u/IHaveInflatableShoes: Is that the Japanese Michael Burry?
[+13] u/Reply_Stunning: >Trump once again declared the military operation had already achieved regime change because the Iranian leadership had been replaced. “We’re dealing with people that are much more rational. It’s amazing what we’ve done,” he said in the Oval Office moments ago
WAT
[+13] u/Oldschoolhype2: Trump adressing nation about Iran at 9 PM. ☠️
[+12] u/Illimited_Esoterica: Don't worry gang. Orange bro says we can end the war in 2-3 weeks without a settlement. So the strait can just stay closed forever. Nbd
[+12] u/Individual_Error_428: Yes thank you TurboTax, for congratulating me on my tax loss carry forward. Thank you. Great to see it. Great to relive the good times 🦧
[+11] u/aqjingson: Picking April fools day to do an important speech is peak 🤡 shit
[+11] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: U.S. President Trump will address the nation on April 1st at 9PM ET to give an “important update on Iran.”
[+11] u/clubdirthill: Important update 9pm tomorrow? Surely the peace deal is going to be signed and we'll all hold hands and sing kumbaya with the new ayatollah.
[+11] u/LengthObjective2253: Bol retards going to get blown tf up tomorrow. You think the Saudis are going to let Iran control oil?? 😂😂
[+11] u/NewlyOld31: Down 10k on futures trading over the last 3 months. I'm done lol This orange fuck bullshits too much.
[+10] u/EliteFortnite: If this is over in two weeks and mission accomplished why we sending another carrier out there?
[+10] u/gentlesandwich: TACO TUESDAY BITCHES
[+10] u/palmanul: If 🌮 says tomorrow we are pulling out and we dgaf to the strait because it doesn't matter to America, is it bullish
[+10] u/Extension-Change-441: BENJAMIN NETANYAHUUUU, BLOW UP THESE BULL PORTS NOOOOWWW
[+9] u/stonetrade: BREAKING: 🥭 TO GIVE URGENT SPEECH ON BALLROOM BLUEPRINT UPDATES, HIS DESERT FROM MCDONALDS, and iran war TOMORROW 9PM ET TUNE IN!
[+9] u/DCrebuilds: Felt so confident this morning sell my calls for 100% profit and switching into puts lol
[+9] u/CD274: April fools address at 9pm est tomorrow..what could go wrong
[+9] u/A_Chair_Bear: Trump heard the Iran bombing US companies news tomorrow and thinks it gives him political will to go back in to save US companies.
Burs there is a chance.
[+8] u/aqjingson: The revenge of micron baby
[+8] u/Electronic-Tax-1641: Hopfully he said hard R at the press conference so I can get my puts back
[+8] u/One-Signature-2706: Bears when SPY is 780: “LMAO at bols believing fake news. Dead cat bounce”
[+8] u/Reply_Stunning: bols are thirsty cockslaves
[+8] u/jakeisarake: just dusted off my SPY 700 hat
[+8] u/Defiant-Fee-7550: 𝘳𝘦𝘥𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘱𝘢𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘳
[+7] u/trent_upscale: Smoking GLP-69 out of diet coke can rn
[+7] u/justarandumthrowaway: BERS ACTUALLY DONT BELIEVE IN EASTER BUNNY 🤣🤣🤣
[+7] u/SeaofSounds: He's gonna announce the existence of aliens......
[+7] u/UnintelligibleThing: Tomorrow Trump is probably gonna announce that he started the war as an early April's fool's joke.
[+7] u/Interesting-Bite-468: Everything was oversold. Today was a dead cat bounce.... [https://www.wired.com/story/iran-threatens-to-start-attacking-major-us-tech-firms-on-april-1/](https://www.wired.com/story/iran-threatens-to-start-attacking-major-us-tech-firms-on-april-1/)
[+7] u/epyonxero: 9 pm is 0 dark 30 in Iran
[+7] u/Weekly_One8412: puts getting torched 👀
[+7] u/BIGTIDYLUVER: The era of the bear is over welcoming to post war America boom
[+7] u/boringfantasy: TRUMP TO ADDRESS NATION ON IRAN 9PM TOMORROW
What we thinking lads?
[+7] u/thewaterb0yyyy: Member the Covid limit downs? Pepperidge Farm remembers
[+6] u/SteakGoblin: Uh... was busy at work, was there a reason for today?
[+6] u/darkspherei: the dump tomorrow is gonna be glorious
[+6] u/Distinct_Chard3048: Bers on suicide watch
[+6] u/fartpooppee420: the president is giving an official address to the american people tomorrow at 9pm to "update us on the iran war". how much you wanna bet his ass is pulling us out of the war giving us the biggest L since vietnam. the regime still stands, we don't have their nuclear material, their oil is flowing more than ever, and they created their own personal toll road to the tune of $2 mil a ship on the strait of hormuz.
[+6] u/PM_me_a_nip: The thing I like most in this whole thing, is that the market is telling you it’s fake in real time.
VIX is a leading indicator, blerp bleep burp
Just watching out and out lies, and thinking “rich people are honest and smart!!!!”
It’s the dumbest thing ever
[+6] u/Samjabr: Who else thought taking profits at open was a smart play - since every time markets opened up, we either crapped out or slowly melted down
🤡
[+6] u/bandofshepherds: MSFT to 500 by Memorial Day 🏖️
[+6] u/LearningSPXonly: Mango san bulls are laughing too hard so make a bombshell of an announcement
Give us premarket -2%
[+6] u/AdCritical5383: Sometimes I use big words to make myself sounds more photosynthesis.
[+5] u/punxphil27: Jerome Powell has been found unresponsive in the bathroom after the market closes green today
[+5] u/AdCritical5383: What did the retarded gay ✌️daytrader✌️ say to his new neighbor?
>!Hi, my name is AdCritical5383 and I lose money!<
[+5] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: So he said the war still has 2-3 weeks to go, and there's a speech tomorrow.
He's either announcing that he wants to rename Hormuz after him, or he's announcing that it's in 2-3 weeks after he comes back from his summer vacation and feels like ending it.
[+5] u/conflicted_humanist: Imagine not buy SPY @ $630 🤦♂️
[+5] u/warm_fork: "Wanna go throw rocks at trains??"
[+5] u/ZealousidealSector19: From paratrooper invasion to we will leave with no deal hahaha
[+5] u/Slightlybadpicks: Serious question-do you regards gamble on shit you don’t understand? For example-Soccer? Asking for a friend…..
[+5] u/broke_person: Dead cat bounce they said. Let's see then
[+5] u/MrDinglehut: The youtube channel "Whats going on with shipping" is awesome for understanding the strait.
[+5] u/TheMallard1: It pumped because i almost bought calls
[+5] u/LarsTarkas: Costco was too busy selling glizzies to join in on the pump
[+24] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: I just don't get it. A technical bounce after all the drilling did make sense, and we're still within downtrend channels as of closing, but we'll break out if the pump continues overnight. The violent COVID V at least made sense because the Fed announced QE, which was something that they had full control over, and something that would instantly provide relief to the drilling market. We're on something like the 13th hint from 🥭 or his admin or now Iran has given about maybe possibly backing out of this, but with nothing concrete. All we have is an ongoing oil supply crisis that has already done serious damage and isn't an overnight fix even if all parties magically agree to put their differences aside, pop some molly and bluechews, and just go fucking apeshit on each other.
I miss garden variety earnings plays instead of trading this psychotic mess where market's main mover is the social media activity of three of the most despicable, evil leaders on the planet
[+21] u/Actual_Disk9183: Everything points to him announcing tomorrow >!something that couldve been a tweet with no new information or importance and then brag for an hour (see Tylenol announcement)!<
[+18] u/MushuPork24: Trump to address the nation on April Fools day. Lmfao
[+17] u/John-AtlasGames: Gonna be a boots on the ground announcement:
The United Arab Emirates is preparing to help the U.S. and other allies open the Strait of Hormuz by force, Arab officials said, a move that would make it the first Persian Gulf country to become a combatant, after being hit by Iranian attacks.-WSJ
[+14] u/forrealjeff: POTUS is 100% giving us bad news tomorrow during his announcement. Prepare for big red day tomorrow.
[+13] u/WrexyWrex: funniest aprils fools joke would be a crash tomorrow
haha
[+12] u/oatmeal-claypole: ground troops announcement coming soon
[+12] u/skarfbeaulonee: Need more downvotes. Don't want validation from the retard echo chamber.
[+11] u/jmc774: 🥭: "I would like to announce that we are now the United States of Iran"
[+10] u/IcyLake2078: Way too bullish in here, too much hope that’s why it will go down
[+10] u/Any_Refrigerator2330: If the 🥭 lies all the time, all year round, is it right to say that on April Fools he will speak only the truth?
[+10] u/stop-sharting: if we all band together we can margin call barron
[+10] u/HeavyArmsJin: Calls on 🥭 resigning 100days
[+10] u/guzzledglizzy: I expect nothing less than 🥭 giving a speech from the flight deck of the Ronald Reagan with a banner behind him that says Mission Accomplished
[+10] u/Muted_Thought8382: Post liberation day bull run 2.0
[+10] u/isolated-cat: bears back to making fanart again
[+10] u/Chemical-Coconut-203: Gambler's plea: if my puts break even I promise I will never buy another put again (except on Microsoft).
[+10] u/Karl151: I'm leaning 70/30 in ground troops being deployed being the announcement, feels like he would've posted about it on truth if he was ending the war.
[+10] u/Molten-Helldiver: I sort of assumed this would dump immediately after closing…it has not wtf
[+10] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Breaking: DONNY announces that, SIKE, war is back on the menu. Happy April fools! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION ON THIS MATTER!
[+9] u/Mark_Underscore: In case you missed it today: Oracle laid off 20,000-30,000 employees almost 18% of its entire global workforce. the largest layoff in the company's 47-year history. Termination emails went out at 6am with zero warning, system access immediately revoked. The reason: they need $8-10 billion in cash flow to fund $156 billion in AI data center commitments primarily for OpenAI. OpenAI may lack the capital to meet future payment obligations to Oracle.
[+9] u/Iceman12145: 9pm speech to the nation feels quite serious...
[+9] u/Beagle001: He's giving a big important update tomorrow at 9pm? Seriously thinking of just closing most positions before that. It's just a coin toss now. After, things will be even more muddled and confusing. On the other hand, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a big offensive tonight.
[+9] u/BoostMobileGuy: Imagine you are 🥭(knock on the wood) You are getting ready for ground invasion. Stock market dropping like Clifford’s dong and your wealthy pals keep bothering you about it.
You do a little 🌮to give em an exit liquidity. Everyone is happy!
[+9] u/horseisahorse: The theory that tomorrow's 9PM thing is one of those nothing burgers where he assures you things have never been better and he doesn't give you anything new sounds plausible to me
[+9] u/nasdaqslut: This, pussies, is why you always buy the fucking dip
[+9] u/Abe2025: Sweet, now i just need 6 more of these days to bring me back up even
[+9] u/Deep-Ad-8525: Ground invasion announcement. The strait is too valuable to let go. He said remember! To france and other nato fuks. I say we take the strait and control the flow, so we can tax Europe.
[+9] u/ProudestPeasant: traumatised by last sesh
[+9] u/avdvetf: there's a 30% chance he announces aliens
[+9] u/iBoughtAtTheBottom: So Iran still super pissed and 🥭 reaffirms that we will attack their power infrastructure and yall think we are pulling out tomorrow? 🤦♂️
[+9] u/Shoganai_Hito: Tonight is eerily suspicious and I like it
[+9] u/These-Shoulder8017: Iranian oil will now be paid for in all currencies. Petrodollar is done.
[+9] u/TickTockTaudit: What the fuck bot is this?!?!?
[+8] u/TurtlePower8803: F*** that it's good for you
[+8] u/avdvetf: "Tonight, I am announcing the total and utter defeat of Iranian control of the Strait of Whore Moose. As I speak right now, 300 thermonuclear warheads are on their way to Saudi Arabia to blast a new strait into the landscape."
[+8] u/cowboycookie1337: So insane that military excursions are being planned around market hours. We have lost the plot.
[+8] u/HandsomeTar: How can you be smart enough to become an Apache pilot and dumb enough to make a kid rock detour?
[+8] u/Street-Badger: The president of the USA is no longer credible, so they had to have a drunk FOX news anchor pump the market. LOL
[+8] u/Bam2458: “Important update on Iran” but can’t fucking tell us for 24 hours lol gtfo of here
[+8] u/avdvetf: It's mango announcement tomorrow night. Mango is sat on the desk, but there's a figure with his hand on mango's shoulder out of camera frame. Mango clears and throat and says "Tonight, I am proud to announce an end to all hostilities. My chief negotiator here, flying to Tehran tonight, has found material that will make an offer to the Iranians they cannot refuse. The camera pans, it's Jeffrey.
[+8] u/-DarKnight-: Market was green today probably because his rich buddies already know whats coming.
IF its green again tomorrow then expect good news from annoucement. If its red then his buddies know bad news coming like troops on ground.
[+8] u/EKUSUCALIBA: I’m up 60% YTD and I gotta admit, I have no idea what I’m doing.
[+8] u/Arabian_Goggles_: So either he is announcing we "won" tomorrow or he is sending in troops?
[+7] u/whitehypeman: Spoilers: he'll say "we won the war."
[+7] u/CMDR_Shepard96: Oil is still $100+ a barrel - what's changed?..
[+7] u/NativePlant870: Your regularly scheduled drill baby drill resumes tomorrow
[+7] u/Outrageous_Tip_2133: Didn't Trump say war will end in "two to three weeks" exactly two to three weeks ago? Why should we believe him this time?
[+7] u/ThatOneRedditBro: Banks can start buying and selling crypto tomorrow. NOICE
[+7] u/Competitive-Water944: Just saw Barron walking out NYU library buying puts
[+7] u/avdvetf: "Tonight, in my nationwide televised address, I am announcing a brand new revolutionary idea to the American people. I call it Mango coin NFTs. Please buy"
[+7] u/No_Lobster_1102: Good Friday = closed
Make it make sense, if good why close?
[+7] u/PLEASE_PUNCH_MY_FACE: > Trump says he expects US to leave Iran in ‘2 or 3 weeks’
Fuck we'll be at war for the rest of my lifetime
[+7] u/Chemical-Coconut-203: Boar really thot. Stupid boars.
[+7] u/thefinfu: Not be fooled by the fake green pumps lol
[+7] u/kim82352: > TRUMP TO ADDRESS NATION ON IRAN 9PM ET WEDNESDAY: LEAVITT
[+7] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: Honestly who cares because apparently we’re all optimistic with Vix and oil up so he could say he eats babies and it would just be some irrational fuckery
[+6] u/Bigamungus: Keepin it real with you, I don't think the markets care at the moment
[+6] u/betaforever: Iran begins attacking US companies in UAE at 8PM tomorrow. 🥭 speaking at 9PM. 👀
[+6] u/Naewind: It is easy to average down your puts when they hit $0.01
[+6] u/noahholic: I thought leaving the strait like this was bearish
[+6] u/AltTooWell13: I use opioids so much I actually became a nofap legend. When do I get powers and become irresistible to women?
[+6] u/abroadbroadband: # GOD DAMN WORK
What did I miss. What happened. What caused the bigly green today
[+6] u/Bilbo_Butthole: WSB bought puts at the bottom, a tale as old as time
[+6] u/Amazing_Plankton744: Starting WW3 on Easter does fit these peeps' motives.
By peeps I mean the pastel decimators of teef.
[+6] u/surfinbird: Full port calls, of course.
[+6] u/silverfutes: Who would’ve thought shorting fake meat and $300 sneakers would be a play? It’s too fkn obvious to make any sense at all.
[+6] u/Micheal_Hancho: You know 🌮 is gonna want a cut of that Ayatollbooth. Probably a part of the negotiations
[+6] u/NeuroManXy: I am here to read bear coping.
[+6] u/Polysorbate800: The Dow is over $46k, that’s what we should be talking about
[+6] u/Worried_Quarter469: He’s going to say we need to finish the job for Jesus
[+6] u/warm-regard: 🥭 gonna announce a rate cut
[+6] u/Embarrassed-Jump-212: War canceled. We are going back to tariff wars with our allies. Fuck you, Canada.
[+5] u/TERRAIN_PULL_UP_: It’s so fucking easy to manipulate this market, it’s incredible
[+5] u/Tuanie1savagee: I have 20x 660c 4/1 10x645p 4/1, one of them are gonna print tmr :) yes in regarded
[+5] u/Throwaway23_SOS: This shit better fall overnight lol
[+5] u/teh_herper: Good thing I don't buy short dated calls / puts anymore, can sleep way better now
[+5] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: 2-3 weeks, to stop the spread they said
[+5] u/Bravadette: I am from the future. I watched the speech from 🥭 at 9PM tomorrow (your time).
He basically stared at the camera for like 15 seconds with a slight grin, then said ZOOM OUT. THIS IS A FILM.
[+5] u/Leading-Future6691: Can’t believe it’s still pumping AH
[+5] u/Competitive-Water944: I’ll whoop your head Bul. Back of the peener
[+5] u/MaresATX: Moves for tomorrow? Sell blood plasma to buy the dip that’s coming
[+29] u/Nervous-Chemistry245: If you bought Nike ten years ago you'd be down about 20% right now
[+27] u/cannythecat: Oil going back up. Somebody is lying
[+14] u/mortalrem1nder: Any of you apes actually live in the Middle East? We have explosions as alarms here. It’s not even 5 a.m. and I’m having my coffee. Just popped a 14mg Velo too. How this market pumped 2% yesterday on that news I don’t know. This war is far from over.
[+13] u/rdblaw: Money you can afford to lose hits differently after you’ve lost it
[+12] u/Beginning_Sentence69: BULL doesn't belong on the ticker board up there.
Bagholders are all above $10/share.
Im not one of them, I lost it on calls instead😂
[+12] u/Initial_Ad_9250: Blasting Britney Spears in my car. Last time I did it we had a 6 month bull run
[+12] u/FickleBumblebeee: >The White House offered few details about what the President intends to emphasize in the 9 p.m. speech. Public polling shows most U.S. adults are frustrated with his handling of the economy as inflation picked up after his tariffs raised prices and hiring slowed.
>🥭 has said that he thinks more Americans would back him if they simply heard him describe his track record, which administration officials say will reverse the recent decline in manufacturing jobs and dramatically increase tax refunds next year.
Sounds like the speech might not even mention Iran
[+11] u/Beginning_Sentence69: This shit ain't gonna hold will it.
ASIA SEE'S THROUGH THE LIES.
[+11] u/BEAR_STEARNS_CEO: I'm convinced you people saying "bers" and "bols" are 12 years old.
[+10] u/alfred250: Bears loaded puts this morning on Irans advice thinking they were on the same team lmao
[+10] u/puffinnbluffin: I think this was a relief rally that won’t hold which means you should buy calls bc I’m more consistently wrong than Cramer
[+10] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: The United Arab Emirates is preparing to help the U.S. and other allies open the Strait of Hormuz by military force, according to Arab officials — WSJ
We still think he’s gonna 🌮 tomorrow? Idk…
[+10] u/FriedCheeseSanga: Trumpy is just giving it one last pump to let his circle exit before shit dumps this weekend
[+10] u/GoZukkYourself: What if the real JPM collar was the friends we made along the way 🤔
[+10] u/CosecSecCot: There is no correlation between today's return and tomorrow's. I don't understand why bulls and bears get so much confidence from the previous trading day.
[+10] u/JayRoo83: It’s literally just him doing a MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
[+9] u/Mast3rfinish25: Australia’s prime minister will address the nation at 7pm tonight regarding fuel crisis.
Probably going to announce there’s non left ☹️
But they will reinstate pornhub so we have something to do while we can’t work 👆
[+9] u/synthetic350: Enjoying this very non fake non gay rally
[+9] u/Split_Seconds: BREAKING : Astrophage found in Iran.
[+9] u/kaapooj: >Indonesia will limit fuel to “50 litres per vehicle” and has ordered work-from-home to save energy.
https://www.channelnewsasia.com/asia/middle-east-war-indonesia-rations-fuel-prices-soar-6028666
[+9] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: - announce an announcement that makes everyone think you’re gonna 🌮
- have your buddies load up on puts
- announce ground operations in Iran
- ???
- literally profit
[+8] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: #🅱️oots on the 🅱️round
[+8] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: today was just the precursor to tomorrow’s april fools open
[+8] u/Josh1172: I have a pure retardium play, trump is supposed to speak at 9 pm tomorrow. My thought is to buy spy calls and puts and hope for some crazy volatility at market open on Thursday, thoughts?
[+8] u/2Frum4U: Turns out liberation day freed us from a functioning global economy
[+8] u/Sea_Bike_5508: Still 2/3 weeks left of war according to the orangutang and people are reacting like it’s already ended and the strait of Hormuz won’t remain closed. Market is crazy and I’ll never understand it.
[+8] u/SilverPrivateer: Speech tomorrow will touch on the "impact of high oil prices and supply chains on the construction of the ballroom"
[+8] u/GoZukkYourself: Bers are entrance liquidity.
[+8] u/ProudPeak3570: my iranian quant fucked me today
[+8] u/Demonic_Maidens: I was at 400k account value. Ive deposited like 60k more and its still only sitting 360k now. FML
[+8] u/roscoe1988: Yes I think the market stays bullish tomorrow
[+8] u/GoZukkYourself: Bers aren't great at recognizing bottoms unless they look in the mirror.
[+8] u/Scarfaceb1tch: Or it will have already been priced in from speculation
[+7] u/Cold_Distribution273: Polymarket has boots on the ground at 56% before April 30, it was like 76 before whatever bullshit happened today.
[+7] u/PhysInstrumentalist: Head and shoulders on the futes 🤔
[+7] u/Branson_McCoy3: Tell her you made 20k as the joke
[+7] u/Bad_Driver69: No way 630 was the bottom. That's barely a 10% discount. Jeez.
[+7] u/GoZukkYourself: On the third day, SPY rose.
[+7] u/Slow-Information-847: Buy oil in every dip before announcement! We are sending in ground troops! Otherwise they will be bombed in Saudi bases for nothing
[+7] u/Mighty-HeaIthy: Nice 4x on SNDK calls bought at yesterdays low
[+6] u/uwu_owo_whats_this: My guess is that he pulls a “mission accomplished” and pulls us out to be honest
[+6] u/Mountain_Kangaroo849: Lost around 20K last month. Should I joke about this tomorrow since its april fools to test my wife’s reaction? I really need some advices from u regards.
[+6] u/Suspicious-Return809: Wendy's announced a new and improved spicy chicken sandwich. THE WAR IS OVER! CANOLA OIL FUTUES ARE DROPPING!
[+6] u/GoZukkYourself: Why is April 1st a holiday for bers?
[+6] u/gainsusmaximus: Lmaoooo can some one summarize 🥭 demands since last Fri?
48 hrs till obliteration, one week more till obliteration, no more war what in the
[+6] u/Soy_tu_papi_: The fact that the market pumps this much off of speculative news just shows whenever this war actually ends, they are going to go up like crazy
[+6] u/Leading_Form_8485: If US leaves, Iran gonna go ape shit on everyone. Especially Isreal. No way US is leaving. Boots.
[+5] u/mysuruhuduga: Bears sweating staring at the Robinhood 24/7 market
Bulls chilling with big booty latinas
[+5] u/PossumImposter2: Bro I told you guys SNAP was going to be the play this week!!!
I’ve never been right before this feels amazing
[+5] u/Dawnchaffinch: As long as you haven’t taken a screenshot of your gains today you should be fine
[+5] u/WocketWaccoon: If you “invested” in NKE 10 yrs ago, you’d be down -15%
[+5] u/Just_Learned_This: They want me to sell my puts
[+18] u/Jealous_Archer_4522: Kuwait airport just hit. Somebody forgot to tell the Iranians that talks are going well.
[+17] u/gkdjsl: Everybody's going to watch the 9 PM thing tomorrow to see if he TACOs or if he's announcing a ground invasion and then he'll end up rambling about the ballroom and its golden drapes like a giant homo
[+17] u/triwyn: if shit for brains was ending the war or pulling out he wouldn’t wait for the market to be closed tomorrow. he would have ether tweeted it out, or had some sort of bullshit conference this evening. there is exactly zero chance tomorrows clown broadcast announces de escalation. none. another ship on its way there to join all the shit that’s already there.
[+16] u/orrangearrow: He goes live tomorrow and just talks about the ballroom would be peak comedy
[+15] u/dayvieee: Nevada National Guard just sent more airmen from Reno to Iran, looks like tomorrows announcement will end with boots on the ground, war time baby
[+14] u/hermeskino715: Markets: The war is over
*More bombings*
Nothing to see here markets. Carry on
^(don't dump until I get puts at open)
[+13] u/_dCkO: Whoever told Elon to stfu and stay out of the headlines is the real mf in charge.
[+12] u/Montyprice7206: Talks are going well even tho she never reads my DMs
[+12] u/Some-Run7225: A lot of attacks happening in the region this morning…
[+11] u/ToonamiNights: There are videos of soldiers hugging their parents before they were being deployed and crying. How does anyone still fall for what this guy says? Good Friday is going to be a shit show
[+11] u/1foxyboi: "Put the puppy corpse on tonight"
[+10] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: 🥭 came through and made the strait gay then told everyone else to go fix it. Bro is diabolical
[+10] u/sturgill_and_co: Anyone else open up huge put options for tomorrow?
[+10] u/DeezCodeNutz: Not much, get back to it.
[+10] u/Life-Has-Been-Peachy: We taking 100% gains on our puts tomorrow or 1000% gains Thursday
[+10] u/KalBux: Ah, yes. My childhood comfort show.
Bombs of peace in the Middle East.
[+9] u/Top_Cranberry_3254: Puts on Noem's husband. He has a nice rack, but that marriage is over.
[+9] u/maximuminimum: The announcement tomorrow is about how 🥭 finally beat Prince of Persia on his PS2
[+9] u/ManyHead6662: 🥭: War over for real this time wallahi
[+9] u/TernTheNumbers: Trump didn’t mean he was quitting in 2-3 weeks, he meant he’d finish them off by then.
[+9] u/Maleficent-Couple-76: Ground invasion coming, bols it was ur last good day for a while
[+9] u/livingiice: This market is so fuk, might as well roll the dice and pick.
[+9] u/TheDudeAbidesFarOut: Relief rally.
I ain't falling for it. Sidelined money shouldn't either.
[+9] u/kellyk311: We launch Artemis II soon which is actually really cool but its so buried behind cross dressing hypocrites, market uncertainty and not a war/totally a war announcements people are like "ya, whatever, I saw that one already. Stark saves everyone, yadda yadda."
[+8] u/cryptopolymath: Send Kristi Noemi’s husband to the front, boobs on the ground!
[+8] u/sanmar2225: #they only ask “wen rug”, never “how rug”
[+8] u/Top_Junket2533: Bro what are u saying?
[+8] u/spyputs1: That’s it, no more Asia futures, I’d rather drag my balls through broken glass than sit here watch the chart for an hour while it moves 3 points on ES.
[+8] u/Bubbledood: I predict 🥭tries to say something that will make gas cheaper and it won’t work
[+7] u/GuyFieriFrostedTips: I get sick for one day and I wake up and Kristi Noem’s husband is wearing balloons as tits. We clearly are in a simulation.
[+7] u/Thebaxxxx: That pump made litterally zero sense
[+7] u/Top_Junket2533: Coming from someone who bought the dip perfect last year I suggest you guys don’t listen to me cuz I have no idea what I’m talking about
[+7] u/New_Sport_8490: Uh if we quit now we have that already
[+7] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: I heard from a reliable source 🥭 will just be rambling about the ballroom and it’s golden drapes like a giant homo
[+7] u/qx2: but, but, we were up 3%. yeah son you got played.
[+7] u/Phandomtrigger: Market so cooked im just meditating
[+7] u/kalakesri: The Isfahan extraction mission in COD 250 is going to be fire
[+6] u/Material-Gift6823: I mean he lost the mid terms already
[+6] u/HandsomeTod11: I wonder what Kristi’s husband’s pronouns are
[+6] u/are_videos: 🥭 april fools announcement
[+5] u/hoidzaheer777: Believe it or not
Full port calls at open.
[+19] u/LongCucumber3710: Ber upvote bol downvote this
[+18] u/XeroShyft: Bros...the fake pump isn't looking so fake anymore....
[+17] u/Brain-Silent: Prediction: trumps is announcing that their will be troops on the ground temporarily but will also say the war is coming to an “end”
[+14] u/Academic_Lock_1699: We got this shit and some in here think it's all fine and dandy:
https://www.reddit.com/r/CombatFootage/comments/1s91w0y/iranian_missile_strikes_base_iraq_33026/
Red it is
[+14] u/MakeOSUGreatAgain63: Cramer calling the rally fake and gey
Holy fuck we’re going back to ATH 😂
[+13] u/Boomer_With_Dementia: You all thinking that 🥭 has enough brain cells to understand that April 1st is also April Fools. My dudes, the man has no idea what day it is, you are giving him way to much credit.
[+12] u/RockasaurusRex: Bro's straight up TACOmaxxing 'cause he got straitmogged by a bunch of Persian men.
[+11] u/winner_in_life: Is Kristi Noem's husbando in here. Show me ur bewbs.
[+11] u/xTeeD: Tomorrow is lining up to be a good one
* rocket launch to moon 6 pm
* rocket launch at US companies 8 pm
* whatever the fuck 🥭says 9 pm
[+10] u/RunesDubloons: There. The price of gas has doubled.
Mission. Accomplished.
[+10] u/TukeTeake: Lets go for one last green candle as april fools before getting a massive red candle
[+10] u/Philthatman: Im done being ambigious, i really need the pullback to 640, thatd be gorgeous. Sorry bols, im a 🏳️🌈🐻 this relief rally is so fake. Next 2 days orderly selling to 630
If im wrong, my sins are paid for in dollars
[+10] u/Own-Wolverine-5361: How about boobs on the ground 🫦
[+10] u/eudaimonia_dc: Trump to announce that the last 10 years have been a simulation and an epic April Fool's prank gone wrong. The scientists have finally figured out how to reboot reality and tomorrow will be April 2, 2016.
[+9] u/JeronimoPearson: If the Strait doesn’t open, how is anything bullish?
[+9] u/Philthatman: Yknow what, fucking puts again bc why not?
[+9] u/Own-Wolverine-5361: Tomorrow's playbook:
Step 1. Retail chases open
Step 2. Institutions sell into strength
Step 3. Start OnlyFans
[+9] u/Successful-Pass-568: https://preview.redd.it/cq77rlnteisg1.png?width=1668&format=png&auto=webp&s=9f1730b7f2d51a06c4a787ae34669ccbc7d283e0
I wonder what’s going to happen by morning YAWN
[+8] u/NoBailOnReddit: For the past 2 weeks
🥭: aight, imma head out
Iran: the fuck you are
[+8] u/Not_constant_witness: Oil so hot right now 🥵
[+7] u/Metal-Water: Lost so much money life became bleak
[+7] u/Accurate-Flow8078: Some people are calling today a fake pump or exit liquidity. Volume was very high, does that matter? I'm just wondering why people think it's fake?
[+7] u/Serrisen: The suspicion it's fake is because it doesn't match the news. Trump and President of Iran both mentioned desiring end of war, but only reiterating their previous demands. Meanwhile, yet another aircraft carrier deployed.
Thus, bears are expecting this to be a temporary bounce caused by bulls who thought the recent bloodbath was a dip
Meanwhile, bulls think the decreased tension and low lows are a strong case for rebound
[+7] u/JellyfishLarge3794: Lmao Dumbass Claude open sourced its code.
[+6] u/iMakeGOODinvestmemts: How is everyone. Investment and stocks aside.
How is our mental health folks!
[+6] u/RobotPimpLibertyBell: Warren B stops talking to pedo Gates. Kid Rock getting flybys.
Go long you gheys.
[+19] u/Bloomeyer: i think u are all over complicating trumps speech. it’s literally going to be a easter related speech with ballroom rambling and blaming the democrats halfway
[+15] u/jstvndrpls: Don't fall for this fake pump. This IS financial advice. Try and fucking sue me pussy
[+14] u/Oatmeal_Raisin_: I wouldnt be surprised if tomorrow’s announcement was just🥭 incoherently rambling about the ballroom, grifting a new janky rebranded product, talking about his likeness or signature being on currency, and coming up with some nonsense like renaming the strait to “the strait of America”
[+14] u/suddenly-scrooge: why are you the way you are
[+13] u/Bofa12313: Hes gonna try to recreate george bush's ultimatum. He gonna sound gay as fuck lmao
[+13] u/MasterpiecePurple302: For reasons I cannot disclose the market is going to tank tomorrow
[+13] u/Vegetable-Acadia-766: WHY TF IS THE MARKET PUMPING AT NIGHT. I DONT FUCKING GET IT!!!! FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE
[+13] u/sonofalando: The rug pull is real
[+12] u/Comfortable733: There’s a high chance Barron is on this sub shitposting right now
[+12] u/surmoiFire: nikkei up 5%, Japan found a way to generate power from Godzilla apparently.
[+12] u/MRROSADOH: At this point, I actually can’t tell which direction it’s going next😭
[+12] u/ajibtunes: [My favorite person on this sub ❤️](https://www.reddit.com/user/me/)
[+11] u/chrisco571: Suddenly no one wants a rally, inverse Reddit
[+11] u/Raw-Garden: This feels like the fake market pump we saw during the oandemic
[+10] u/Overall-Fold-9720: We lost so much aura in Iran, gonna have to invade Cuba or something
[+10] u/GuyFaulks77: Dead cat bounce to ATH
[+10] u/KarlLachsfeld: Australian PM adressing the nation
British PM adressing the nation
Trump adressing the nation
GUH
[+10] u/BeepBoopDep: It's over bers, bul has the high ground.
[+10] u/ElectricalGene6146: All this market pump basically provides donnie ammo to keep going at it and yolo for the oil fields
[+9] u/Fire-Lion6: It's pretty obvious he will drop the same 3 talking points about Iran as usual. Maybe add one line about how they're begging for a ceasefire and he might give it to them, followed by a line about how they are gonna keep bombing them, just to keep markets on their toes.
Then 3 minutes in hes gonna pivot to talking about the ballroom and the supreme court and illegal immigrants and Joe Biden.
[+9] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Strait still closed bro…
[+9] u/Tropicalfisher: Insiders working hella hard rn
[+9] u/tinydisaster: Ok, I’ve watched news for a while. Other than nice pretty words taken out of context, suspected insider trading, and vibes, is there any evidence to suggest that the conflict has ended? I still see missile attacks and a Kuwaiti tanker that got hit. Stuff in Iran and Israel are still getting hit.
I’m not denying today bear are fucked, I’m just thinking about the strait not being opened and this being kinda a short term cheer before bad news crude still not flowing.
[+9] u/LouieM13: Pentagon pizza index has been quiet all week.
Trump won’t say anything big tomorrow.
[+9] u/College_finals: Bears are mad that they lost money yesterday.
[+9] u/k3t4mine: Someone has to know something for crude to be down $5 in an hour on no news.
[+8] u/nsfwnsfwnsfw33333: holy fuck we are so going to war with iran lmao. puts all day baby
[+8] u/geddyclaus: Tomorrow is the reveal that the entire Iran war was just an elaborate April Fool's prank. 🥭 got us again!
[+8] u/bigluvin69: How many of you regards are actually full porting options vs f'ing around with a small % of your port while staying long? Transitioning gey bear here
[+8] u/Lost_Foot_6301: White House asked the broadcast networks for airtime for Trump's speech.
its both passover and april fools day.
what does your gut instinct say? war over or war continues?
[+8] u/2dum2dieUwU: Literally all of reddit calling puts so matket gonna pump tmr
[+8] u/Vimes76: Look at the market, pretending like everything is peachy, how cute.
[+8] u/Relevant7040: Bought puts at close like a regard, why do I chase reversals after making some 💵
[+8] u/ajibtunes: The new announcement is probably about the ballroom
[+8] u/ClarkFable: Ruh ro bols. we goin in … directly into the the str8 of yur anoos.
[+7] u/indo-us: Yeah Easter rally!!!
[+6] u/bluen: Do you beleeee in life after puts
[+6] u/poot-lover: Round trip to 630 Thursday
[+6] u/I-ProGamer-I: Funny thing is: he really managed to distract from the Epstein files….
[+6] u/queenofcowboys: I’m waiting on a huge check coming in 8 days so naturally I would miss the bottom. 😞
[+5] u/Legitimate_Cable_811: Best part about a rally after a massive dump is hearing bers shorting all the way back to ath
[+21] u/LostMyMag: It's so funny that bears are relying on Iran and bulls are relying on 🥭to pump their positions.
[+16] u/SZJX: \> IRANIAN PARLIAMENT: THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ WILL NOT OPEN, WE HAVE NOT HELD ANY NEGOTIATIONS, AND WE WILL NOT HOLD THEM
[+15] u/Ok-Piano8789: IRANIAN PARLIAMENT: THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ WILL NOT OPEN, WE HAVE NOT HELD ANY NEGOTIATIONS, AND WE WILL NOT HOLD THEM
[+15] u/GittingerFredl: it doesn't matter if you're ber or bol, if your timing is shit you're going to lose money
[+14] u/jraiv420: Imagine if 🥭 suprise announcement today is a draft 🫡
[+14] u/FuckingJPMAlgos: Whoever bought calls yeterday will be crying by end of today. Its a pretty bad dump coming boys buckle up.
[+13] u/Visible_Sir7057: "Bull trap" nah bro ur puts are cooked 😂
[+12] u/Impressive-Name5129: Qatar’s Defence Ministry says Qatar was targeted by three cruise missiles launched from Iran, one of which struck an oil tanker.
In a post on X, the ministry said it intercepted two of the missiles, while the third hit a tanker leased to QatarEnergy.
The tanker’s 21-person crew was evacuated, the ministry said. No injuries were reported.
Bullish!
[+11] u/Friendofabook: This pump is really unsustainable? There is zero news that is worthy of it. UK and AU nation address will just be about conserving fuel basically.
It's either som mass fomo hysteria or pure insider trading.
My guess is some insider trading fuelling fomo.
[+11] u/whomakesthetendies: " Missile launched from Iran hits oil tanker off Qatar’s coast: Defence Ministry
Qatar’s Defence Ministry says Qatar was targeted by three cruise missiles launched from Iran, one of which struck an oil tanker"
Oil down 3.5% 🤡
[+11] u/thefrozen_one: 2 day bullish price action erases nearly a month of shorts. Holy-sh
The mother of all shorts may be in labor soon
[+11] u/QuartersToPlay: Why are bulls mad at the people buying puts? Fucking be mad at the regard 🥭 we call our president. Money is money.
[+11] u/aniote: GO GET YOUR OWN DAMN PUMPS
\- djt
[+10] u/humunculus43: This storyline is not realistic
[+10] u/sami_regard: Alright, hear me out on this bat shit analysis. SoCal is raining now. The correlation between raining and a dump day is supper high.
[+10] u/Junkingfool: Orange man going to announce the invasion has started....
[+10] u/Senior_Professional4: Babe wake up the 3m and ytd graphs are the same today!!
[+9] u/mr_stupid_face: It’s the deep breath before the plunge
- Gandalf
[+8] u/Senior_Professional4: If this opens red it’ll be a sick april fools day prank
[+8] u/Loose_Hornet4126: Dang how many of you bears got absolutely murked today and washed out?
[+7] u/BumbleSlob: looking forward to the dementia patient rambling on for hours and no one even paying a modicum of attention to it
[+7] u/BestKoreaEscapee: 🥭is going to announce victory… and 🇮🇷will announce aloha snackbar!
[+7] u/Ferret_Rough: Seen this rodeo a million times. Bears just capitulate if not it’ll end up with you crying and saying “rigged”. No shit it’s rigged, make money off it
[+5] u/Burtonwurton: NKE price going back to 2015 levels. Timmy and Ackman created generational bagholders.
[+27] u/sliimjiim: Multiple countries making extraordinary national addresses to warn the public that the coming months are going to be very tough. Bullish af
[+22] u/RareGuarantee3532: War is over but Iran will hit today US facilities and Oil is going back up over $100.
Houtis entered the war and is currently targetting Israel.
Bombing on Teheran is currently ongoing.
good thing war is over, if it was ongoing that might have been dangerous
[+18] u/pussinbuuts: from a neutral standpoint it would be absolute cinema if the whole pump reversed
[+18] u/severed02: Happy April Fools to everyone outside of the US. To my fellow Americans: carry on, just another day.
[+17] u/UnicornMilking: CLASSIC USA MOVE, GO IN, BREAK SHIT, DECLARE VICTORY AND LEAVE LMAO
[+17] u/Killersax: THE DUMP CONTINUES TODAY
[+17] u/Stonkrates: Calling it. Speech is about pulling out of NATO
[+17] u/Select_Season7735: This is the biggest bull trap I’ve ever seen in my life
[+15] u/AgitatedJump8459: Speaking after market close… he will probably pump it, people will fomo into the pump on thursday and after thursday close he will announce invasion
[+14] u/DrawMeAPictureOfThis: A senior Iranian lawmaker said the Strait of Hormuz will not reopen and ruled out any negotiations, according to Iranian media.
Ali Nikzad said Iran would not ease pressure until it takes revenge, adding, “The Strait of Hormuz will never reopen, no negotiations have taken place and none will take place.”
Edit: Statement made 3 hours ago https://www.iranintl.com/en/liveblog/202604015564
[+14] u/2c-b_day: The markets can remain irrational longer than I can remain lubricated
[+13] u/kairepaire: Strait of Hormuz is open now btw. Mass of ships are moving through it. Then I woke up and saw that it is still closed.
And AI bubble still popping
And private credit still bursting
[+13] u/unpaid-astroturfer: Decided to stop making bad trades, and make good ones instead
I'll start in about Two Weeks
[+13] u/bm_mane8: so leaders all across the world sounding alarm but markets be ripping, nice. If you’re investing rn, you deserve to be exit liquidity.
[+13] u/An_Unusual_Mind: More like dead cat kung fu instead of bounce.
[+13] u/Usedillusion7: Make sleeping like a baby loaded with puts great again.
[+12] u/Available_Cake_8572: So Irans PM said there are no negotiations with the USA. Hmmm so much BS is being thrown out of 🥭 mouth lol
[+12] u/swedishconfectco: incoming market missiles
[+11] u/demonhunterking: What if Iranians use social media to trade too? You know what I mean
[+11] u/Knarre30: Market has lost every connection to reallity.
[+10] u/Glam34: The fact that its not priced in is actually priced in.
[+10] u/Zealousideal_Ship_13: NVDA strikes Iran’s oil fields
[+10] u/caliwillbemine: Because they’re sleeping peacefully while you’re mad about your puts?
[+10] u/Fancy_Cattle_5914: lol oil dumped 5% for no reason in AH and is going literally straight up. Trumps buddies just created exit liquidity and exited in after hours while we all slept, Boots on the ground announcement tonight!.
[+10] u/Mean_Bumblebee1945: Former US embassy in Tehran hit as 🥭 set to update Americans on war
[+10] u/4TheGhostCat: "We have always been at peace with Eastasia."
- Department of War
[+9] u/Usedillusion7: The funnest thing about these next 2 days is that bols just got back their confidence back less than 24 hours ago.
[+9] u/Pazzaaaaaa: TONIGHT: AUTISM ANNOUNCEMENT
[+9] u/UnicornMilking: Bull fucks think because of one green day the market is making a comeback... I hope it continues to crash and they get booty slapped. All market sell-offs have green days, they are called bull traps or dead cat bounces (☝️🤓).
tldr; Beef is still on the menu 🐻🍽️
[+9] u/lysergalien: Sorry Micron investors, I can't wait for MU $100 so I can afford PC parts again
[+8] u/2c-b_day: Reminder that 🥭 can't 🌮 his way out of this. Iran wants reparations and a withdrawal of all US bases in the region. This is FAR from over.
[+7] u/Competitive_Ride: Limit up for an April fool prank would be epic
[+7] u/Revolutionary-Owl-79: Did i miss the bottom?
[+7] u/Happy-Philosophy9211: Trump considering leaving NATO is insane news during a time of war.
OK - anyway pump?
[+6] u/M4roon: UAE national oil co CEO calling on the UN to uphold the safe navigation act in the strait of Hormuz.
I.. Hm.. let's ee how that works out.
[+6] u/The_Alan_Greenspan: To the guy that said allahu snackbar: I’m still cracking up about that.
[+6] u/midwestck: My only regret is not buying shorter dated further from the money calls
[+6] u/KeyEmu7694: IRAN HAS STRUCK AMAZON SERVERS IN BAHRAIN
[+5] u/doolytokki: cry myself to sleep n pour a triple
[+19] u/KachThebest69: Can't believe how lucky Putin is. Without doing anything, sanctions on his oil got removed AND it's worth more than 120$/barrel and now 🥭 is leaving NATO
[+18] u/emergencyexit: The enemy cannot know what you are about to do, if you don't either
[+18] u/OkResponsibility2470: 🥭 just arbitrarily considering reversing years of US foreign policy. So much for the deep state lol
[+15] u/Ok-Thought-9960: Maybe 🥭 is destroying everything that worked so we can talk about him for the next 50 years while we try to put it back together
[+15] u/Specialist_Fig9458: What one man has been able to do to the stock market is the biggest tragedy. This is just fucking sad lol
[+14] u/Unhappy_Hedgehog_808: War is winding down, as another aircraft carrier is being deployed… makes total sense.
[+14] u/Long_Exchange_7347: Finally seeing sentiment shift to being bullish, I can be confident in shorting now
[+11] u/AirwickS: Boots on the ground, pulling out of NATO, or we won see you later.
Who knows what he’ll say tonight.
[+11] u/_IsNull: What’s the use of trump potentially TACO if Israel isn’t giving up.
[+11] u/Magnets: trump announces war is almost over -> pump
then
boots on ground, oil price spikes, more ships attacked -> dump
[+10] u/thundercrunt: If the speech tonight is about boots on the ground, itll tank markets tomorrow? Wouldn't he be better giving that speech tomorrow night? Has me thinking it'll be some positive bullshit tonight to pump and then invasion tomorrow night
[+10] u/youdirtyhoe: April fools started yesterday and will continue on today. It will peak during trumps speech/ramble.
[+9] u/Th4tR4nd0mGuy: I remember my first dead cat bounce 🥰
[+9] u/Tautol0gic: LOAD UP ON OIL COZ AINT SHIT CHANGED
[+8] u/CATLLM: SPY -19% tonight. You think 🥭 king cares about your calls? Yesterday’s pump was exit liquidity foe MMs
[+8] u/Me-Regarded: You are no fun at all
[+8] u/FwamingDragon91: This is ALL to do with supporting the Petro Dollar.
No way in hell Trump leaves Iran without a guarantee they will continue to trade in the USD. Otherwise it will be the death of the dollar.
If they leave after destroying half the country, Iran will trade in the Yuan or something similar and that sets a dangerous precedent for the rest of the world.
This is the same reason they invaded Venezuela.
TlDr: there is NO chance they will leave any time soon. They WILL probably invade and install a puppet government.
Banbet me to hell and back etc etc
[+8] u/Austin_Destroyer: A third carrier group, an A-10 squadron, and ~10000 infantry are still heading to Iran and we're celebrating the end of the war.
lol
I like this shade of green, though. So, not mad but might go cash.
[+8] u/cryptohomunculus: World Cup in a few months. Lines going up and to the right, fellas.
[+8] u/BullfrogLevel2087: Australian PM - ‘Buckle up were in for a long ride’ 😂
[+8] u/BullfrogLevel2087: Burgers hit Irans leaders - iran retaliates and hit burgers leaders - Mag 7 😂😂😂😂
[+8] u/decjr06: Mango gonna pull some really stupid bullshit tonight.
[+8] u/Chance-Albatross7809: GL to bols today, im sitting this one out.
short/bearish on the long term, especially over the next 2-3 weeks.
see yall after CPI
[+8] u/Stilnovisti: Prediction: He's going to complain about Iran and then use it as an excuse to make threats/complaints about NATO. No word about whether or not there's a withdrawal and then we're back to the 10 day deadline.
[+8] u/n1ck90z: It's bears fooled day
[+7] u/llasar17: hes gonna livestream them dropping little boy 2.0
[+7] u/Ok_Dish1650: I need to make 3k today otherwise I'm homeless
[+7] u/Senpai_Slime: So how much more shit needs to blow up before people realize things arent getting better over there anyway?
[+7] u/zzzzzz808: “It’s my sole source of income.”
- 0dte Spy options
[+7] u/Emc79: Probably announcing he wants to leave NATO, because he's pissed off NATO did not join the fight.
Can someone give him the NATO handbook, because he seems to not know why NATO was formed.
And he seems to have forgotten the ONLY time NATO came to assist a member, due to it being attacked ,, was in fact the US, post 9/11.
The fact there has been relative peace in the majority of the Western countries can be attributed to NATO I believe.
This man's ego is just out of control....