▶ Full Post Text
[+80] u/barelyreadsenglish: He is going to run the government like a business
He bankrupted 6 businesses
[+57] u/fuckyeahmageknight: Taking a moment to remember some of Joe Biden’s greatest accomplishments
* normalized midday naps for adults
* finally determined who is and isn’t black
* made my in-laws big mad
* invented AI
* didn’t invade Iran
Thank you Joe!
[+57] u/VeryMercurial: Guys guys they weren’t saying DEATH TO AMERICA
They were saying DEBT TO AMERICA as we pass the $39 trillion mark
[+55] u/kazkeb: https://preview.redd.it/rpk6x8j0c9qg1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ebbd92652c4195c1496698d4d373eb6252055c5
[+50] u/yushey__: I’m such a fucking moron. I was trading MSTR all day. Buy and selling options while looking at MSFT charts.
[+49] u/Rich-Badger-7601: BOOTS
ON
THE
GROUND
THIS WEEKEND
[+46] u/NeedleworkerOne8258: 🥭 WHAT A FCKIN CLOWN ! JUST THROW HIM OUT OF THE OFFICE ALREADY ! FCKIN PIECE OF SHITTTT
[+42] u/AussieJeffProbst: All 🥭had to do was nothing. He had the strongest bull market in history and he fucked it all up with this stupid bullshit. What a fucking clown.
[+42] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: He could've just golfed for 4 years
[+40] u/TakeThatBro: I'm starting to think that the war wasn't won on day 1
[+35] u/ttbasterd: Down 120k this week…. 75% of my portfolio
[+33] u/Basis_404_: Bulls:
- ~~SPY 690 the bottom is in!~~
- ~~SPY 680 the bottom is in!~~
- ~~SPY 670 the bottom is in!~~
- ~~SPY 665 the bottom is in!~~
- ~~SPY 660 the bottom is in!~~
- ~~SPY 655 the bottom is in!~~
- ~~SPY 650 the bottom is in!~~
- SPY 648 the bottom is in!
[+30] u/Marshmallowmind2: The strait is always open. Up to you if you want to sail
[+26] u/ComprehensiveKiwi489: TRUMP ON OPENING STRAIT OF HORMUZ: AT A CERTAIN POINT IT'LL OPEN ITSELF
[+25] u/Neel_Crashkari: You are witnessing global financial collapse in real-time
[+23] u/OkayWwahevr: where were you in 2026 when Chuck Norris single handedly took down the markets?
[+23] u/-medicalthrowaway-: “At a certain point, it’ll open itself”
The programmer of this simulation is a fucking retard.
[+22] u/SouthNice7324: I did indeed rotate out of money and into poverty
[+22] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Israel is the dude you take on the bank robbery and you tell him we'll grab the money and go but he starts shooting everybody for no reason
[+21] u/ProudPeak3570: The only thing preventing the market from being green is sellers selling. Should the sellers not do that, we would be green - Pete Kegseth probably
[+18] u/financiallythriving: Great market close to start a depressing weekend
[+18] u/br0botic: How tf am I supposed to enjoy my weekend when I just lost all my mf money
[+18] u/Worried_Quarter469: Wednesday: rate cuts, won the war, plan to open strait
Friday: rate hikes, ground invasion, strait will open itself
[+18] u/smart_doge: Live view of the strait right now
🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊
🐟 🐠
. 🐡
. 🚢
[+17] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: I exited 90% of my long positions so expect a huge rally next week, just doing my part
[+17] u/CaskJeeves: Q: What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Garbanzo bean?
A: There's no blackmail video of 🥭 paying to have a Garbanzo bean on his face
[+17] u/Gom_KBull: The WORLDS STRONGEST MILITARY
Picks a fight with a country with no money and a few Temu drones...
AND IS FUCKING LOSING
So fucking pathetic 😒
[+16] u/2020isgreat: "Nothing ever happens" "It's priced in" "War is over" "It won't affect oil prices" "Oil doesn't matter"
[+16] u/Eedmonddd: Been buying every single SPY dip since the start of the year. Every single purchase is red and Im running out of money to buy more. Help me Obama.
[+16] u/hardcrepe: Chuck Norris’s lungs were so strong, his last breath knocked down the stock market.
[+16] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: It's exhausting to think that the retards in charge literally just said fuckit let's crash the planet
[+16] u/WSB-mods-are-: +4% days usually happen right after -2% ones
[+16] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Bro blew up the economy to stop Iran from potentially blowing up the economy.
[+15] u/CaskJeeves: Chuck Norris saw the price at the pump and said Fuck this I'm out
[+15] u/bigmeatbag: Seriously though, how much can a chubby 40 year old white dude realistically make sucking dick on the street for cash?
[+14] u/sandygws: https://preview.redd.it/8xn7lt85a9qg1.png?width=541&format=png&auto=webp&s=a12d75d99760fdfba1d69d1b4b6ffe556485f99c
[+14] u/CulturalConclusion76: him dying in his sleep is the only bullish thing that could possibly happen
[+14] u/n1ck90z: bulls went out to buy the dip and never came back
[+14] u/Ready_Scratch_1902: they're sending in marines
that's usually a major signal
monday is gonna suck
[+14] u/Soffatjockis: Market closed.
Now we wait for the escalation to happen
[+13] u/sailortyx56: If you're still in line for gas, stay in line.
[+13] u/IgorOlshanksy: What if we just grab the strait by the pussy?
[+13] u/Voltthrower69: Imagine dying for isntreal
[+13] u/BioRam: It's a lot less smelly in here now that bull are out taking a walk
[+13] u/5StarMan94: It’s Friday close, someone’s about to get bombed!
[+13] u/Pete26l96: If you're gonna talk about how the end of the world is coming and we are in for a lost decade, at least have the balls to buy puts. I swear 90% of the most aggressive, pessimistic, and hostile comments are from people who've just been sitting on cash for the last year(s).
[+13] u/RuleSubverter: AI Companies: "One more loan bro. Plz bro. You'll get ROI bro. I just need one more data center bro. Plz bro we'll all be rich bro."
[+13] u/orsomeshitidk: Markets been focused on Iran. Don’t worry, when it comes up for air and sees the private credit shitshow it’s surely gonna react well.
[+13] u/BioRam: Bears can be bullish but bulls refuse to be bearish
I really just don't get how you can cope your way out of the current situation you're in
[+13] u/auroraavm: You guys are hilarious. Let me know when we hit bottom 👌
[+13] u/IndependentUsual7444: 🥭 literally only knows how to double down
[+13] u/hioman01: Remember this 🤡 show will last 3 more years
[+13] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Gay bears🌈🐻 please gather around the soap box:📦
Right now: Dubai crude $170. Both sides digging in. No Iranian government left to negotiate with because they’re all dead.
April: Asian refineries run out of feedstock. Japan and Korea start rationing. Turkey, Pakistan, Egypt run out of dollar reserves trying to afford oil.
First IMF bailout request hits the wire. European banks holding that EM debt start sweating.
May: Q1 earnings. Every airline, manufacturer, and consumer company reports a disaster. Banks disclose credit losses on EM loans. Private credit funds start defaulting. Jamie Dimon’s cockroaches start showing up.
June: Full global depression. Manufacturing output collapses. Interbank lending freezes. Someone on CNBC says the word Lehman. Your 401k sends you a letter you don’t want to open.
But sure WTI is at $98, everything is fine… right regard bol?🐂📉
[+12] u/nyse25: sorry babe, lunch is on you the market is down 😎
[+12] u/orsomeshitidk: I haven’t done fuck all at work today and I’m gonna head out an hour and 15 early. Don’t tell that bitch Tammy in HR.
[+12] u/civillyRange: Every major diesel spike 2008, 2011, 2022, was followed by a bigly surge in CPI inflation.
The current spike in disel is larger than all the others.
Im buying a shit ton of "i did that 🥭 stickers" LMAO
[+11] u/Peeeeech: The Dow will never be above 50k again. Pam Bondi called the top.
[+11] u/BlackKnightsOptions: Buy calls, they said
SPY going to 700, they said
WELL GUESS WHAT
[+11] u/MadSkyGlider: Black Monday and Tuesday pump good enough for everyone?
[+11] u/Fernyfern7: bulls will claim a win after the tiny pump at the end of the day
[+11] u/xeemyy: At the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, we understand that life's challenges can sometimes be difficult. Whether you're facing mental health struggles, emotional distress, alcohol or drug use concerns, or just need someone to talk to, our caring counselors are here for you. You are not alone.
[+11] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Spys gonna hit 625 on Monday
[+11] u/Gom_KBull: Incredible, it took the market 20 days to begin realizing that "the war would be resolved within a month" was a big steaming pile of horseshit.
I have to admit at the start of the month the brainded bols almost convinced me that the damage was priced in... ALMOST.
[+11] u/xeemyy: You don’t have to go through this alone.
If you are struggling today, need support with your mental health, or have experienced a traumatic event, consider contacting a helpline. It’s free, anonymous and confidential.
[+11] u/31andnotdone: making your way in the world today, takes everything you got
[+11] u/ConsiderationKey1658: I own 0.0007378 shares of NVDA bought at $212. Should I cut my losses?
[+11] u/PalsRocksMyWorld: “Trump was asked while leaving the White House on Friday afternoon about plans to have U.S. forces further target Kharg Island in Persian Gulf, which is vital to Iran’s oil network.
He responded, “I may have a plan I may not” but said he wouldn’t tell reporters one way or the other.
“It’s certainly a place that people are talking about. But I can’t tell you that,” Trump added.”
we r so fuk. Weekend gonna be lit I suppose.
[+10] u/ChampionshipOdd947: This is all Christopher Columbus' fault
[+10] u/CPA-hole: Many of you will be receiving calls from “margin” this evening
I would suggest you do not answer
[+10] u/Wall_St_Bussy: #a proud American owner of 200 SPY shares by force
[+10] u/myjumboloanapp: Rate hikes are on the table now 😩. All he had to do was leave everything the way it was and steal credit but nooooo
[+10] u/Candid_Analyst_9040: Bro is right, I’m tired of winning
[+10] u/Thebaxxxx: This is only the start. Youve seen nothing yet.
[+10] u/smart_doge: Even those who were paper trading are crying today, the market was that bad
[+10] u/bb483: Bottom isn’t in until we get hotlines in the chat
[+10] u/Sea_Condition_6999: It's gotta be hard to try to win a war when all of your moves have to be made between Friday at 8:01pm and Sunday afternoon.
[+10] u/barkwoofgrrr: It is patriotic to be a 🌈 🐻, because the ONLY way 🥭 ends this and doesn't fuck up the world economy and send soldiers into a death trap is if the stock market tanks. It is the only fucking thing that gets his attention (just like back in COVID)
[+10] u/Sidney_Godsby: Remember a month ago, when Spy was $693? Lmao
[+10] u/hioman01: I want my money back
[+10] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: In-laws had the I did that stickers and everything during Biden lol.
They retired 4 months ago. All they talk about is their portfolio 😭
[+10] u/maldinisnesta: Who knew that war and rampant, open corruption would eventually lead to lower stock prices? Gee whiz.
[+10] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: A 🌮 will be coming this weekend.
[+10] u/Bill_Clintons_Desk5: Markets didn’t have Chuck Norris’ death priced in
[+10] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: "We don't even need the strait"
Fucking retarded
[+9] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/Kaeptor made a bet that QQQ would go to 600.1622 within **20 hours** when it was 594.22 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 1 wins and 24 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+9] u/NoBuyers: Bulls are now readying their military gear for deployment to Iran in order to save their calls.
[+9] u/Tay_Tay86: Nothing ever happens crowd in shambles
[+9] u/zamnik_: Well, I only got shares so I can just sleep through all of this until it's over 🤷
[+9] u/Warm_Implement3088: If it rips to 680 on some bullshit I'll purchase all of NVDA and give it back to the people
[+9] u/NeedleworkerOne8258: When it’s my time to jump into the market and it started crashing !
[+9] u/DufflebagJoe: Wow I’m actually fucked, funny how that works.
[+9] u/Inner-Cobbler-2432: So, next week same drill. Apocalyptic news weekend, 2 green days for zero reason and then dump. Can't fool me 4 times!
[+9] u/zzTopG: I bought 10k of spy calls thinking it was Thursday
Gonna be an expensive weekend
[+9] u/Specialist_Fig9458: Don’t worry guys, surely upstanding citizens like Sam Altman and Larry Ellison aren’t defrauding people like SMCI right? LMAO
[+9] u/DorianSoundscapes: Risked $10,000 to make $500 on 0DTEs like a true regard. Stay classy gentleman. Until next week.
🍸😎
[+9] u/civillyRange: National average for diesel is up 39% in 1 month LMAO
Correlating historical diesel prices and CPI relationship would put annual CPI at 8%
The lag between diesel price surge and CPI is 6-10 weeks.
April CPI will test the book cooking abilities of even the greatest BLS chefs
[+9] u/Feedback_Entire: Markets are gonna double he said...
More like halve
[+9] u/Gorm_the_Old: I would just like to point out that two and a half weeks ago, markets soared to near all time highs on the expectation that the little war that had broken out over the weekend was all but over because someone went in front of the cameras and said so.
I'm beginning to get a little skeptical of the "priced in" narrative.
[+8] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: I was banned for 2 weeks over a political thing which, in fact, wasn’t political at all. Fuckin retards
[+8] u/delicious_oppai: Rip smci retards who thought they got great deal at open
[+8] u/smart_doge: “The market is closed, let’s start working on the war”
\- officials at the WH right now, probably
[+8] u/Kind-Recognition4528: Anybody still alive?
[+8] u/R3dFiveStandingBye: God I’m getting so fucking stoned after work
[+8] u/Maximum-Sign-5983: Subscribe to my Onlyfans to see AMZN fucking me. 😩
[+8] u/All_FIREdUp: 🚨Who Will Win🚨
Let’s meet today’s contestants!
1. The world’s most advanced and well funded military that has ever existed in the entirety of human history
or
2. One oil blockadey boi
[+8] u/Vast_Presentation909: Pffff, how do you bear losses guys. Just lost 20 procent of my networth in the last 3 hours
[+8] u/dash_trash4255: Not selling my puts til the hotline gets posted
[+8] u/Fkn1v1mem8: Remember the pump eod yesterday and everyone thought we were going back to 700? This eod little pump means we’re going to 600
[+8] u/pmoO0: Traditional war scenarios are history. It is basically a world wide conflict, even if people don't want to call it that. You don't need standing armies to drag everyone into it.
[+8] u/iswearnotagain10: Markets are closed for the weekend. Now when’s the bad news coming?
[+8] u/NiceOwner: Michael blurry is full of glee right now
[+8] u/dontslambro: They did say the antichrist comes first
[+8] u/Red_Zone_Broly: #Is this year going to be a repeat of 2022?
Foreign war -> oil shock -> inflation goes up -> rate hikes -> market goes down the whole year and especially every time we have a FED meeting -> stonks moon in January of the next year
[+8] u/kemar7856: Fucking garbage fuck Microsoft
[+8] u/poorat8686: LOL the V after hours okay buddy fuck off
[+8] u/bb483: Dip buyers all out of chips
[+8] u/bonyfattony: Can we start over. I wasn’t ready.
[+8] u/bobby_stackz: Everything is computer
[+8] u/djklmnop: I feel like something big is going to happen right after options are closed for trading
[+8] u/_TheGoogz: Could be worse. I could be younger and have a lot more time left on the clock than I do.
Imagine being 20-25 years old and thinking to yourself "60+ more years of this?"
Fuck.
That.
[+8] u/xeemyy: You can also call 1-800-985-5990 or text “TalkWithUs” to 66746 at the SAMHSA Disaster Distress Helpline. Trained crisis workers will listen to you and direct you to the resources you need.
[+8] u/trumpdiego: ##well at least they will chill out and not do anything irrational this weekend
[+8] u/Vast_Presentation909: This gotta be the most unsupportive group in the world. Some people are genuinely deeply down (granted because of there own dumb decisions), reaching out for some kind of help and you stump them down even harder
[+8] u/Thebaxxxx: Just wired out 100k of gains about to plan my vacation to japan. Any suggestions on hotels?
[+8] u/trumpdiego: ##Dad what happened to my 529 account? why's it negative? well son, one day we decided Iran was just days away from a nuclear bomb. But wasn't that like 3 months after we decimated their nuclear facilities using stealth bomber technology? Yes son, you're very smart, which is why you won't have to worry about the burden that 529 account brings and just accept the student debt laden upon you like the rest of us.
[+8] u/SouthNice7324: 65 hours until the market opens. Time to touch grass. And then run inside and assume foetal position
[+8] u/smart_doge: Triple Bitchin’ was today?
[+8] u/Ready_Scratch_1902: silver down for the year
[+8] u/Same-Brilliant2014: Not to get political but this is all due to Taft and Roosevelts conservation fights.
[+8] u/Neel_Crashkari: Everybody out of the pool
[+8] u/2020isgreat: Cya retards on monday! more to fall
[+7] u/i_empathetic: $200B emergency war funding that is fucking the economy and the markets. Meanwhile, it would cost $46B to replace all lead pipes in the entire country. "But how will you pay for it?!"
[+7] u/Pinklitmusshirt: They’re not even hiding the manipulation it’s crazy
[+7] u/BrownDog42069: god damn I fucking suck at this
[+7] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: This will be a depressing weekend
[+7] u/Vihurah: Chuck died and decided to take the stock market down with him. what a man.
[+7] u/baller1able: HEY HEY HEY, no crying in the casino because on November 5 2024 🫵🏾voted for this so now 🫵🏾will live with the results
[+7] u/I_Study_The_Patterns: LMAO classic bulls, celebrating a -1.42% down day instead of a -2% down day.
[+7] u/IceInMyVain: So now that y’all sold, watch the 🍊 guy pump the market for his friends.
[+7] u/KD_BurnerAccount38: I don’t want to live on this planet anymore 😭
[+7] u/SouthNice7324: Wednesday we were at 675. Feels a long time ago now.
[+7] u/trumpdiego: has anyone tried telling him that he can just deny the epstein videos are real and just say they are deepfakes, so he can end the war?
[+7] u/jraiv420: Prayers up for bols 🙏
[+7] u/kaapooj: taking the over on israeli ground invasion of lebabon heating up over the weekend
[+7] u/Ahthongkorkor: felt like we were at 697 not too long ago, crazy how one fruit can fuck everything up in such a short period
[+7] u/B2BContinuum: At this rate, gang members will not be able to do drive-by. Have to resort to Walk by shooting
[+7] u/Rocky_The_Champion: Who would have thought Biden was better for stonks than Trump.
[+7] u/Internal_Field5970: Tom Lee lied.
Dip buyers died.
[+7] u/LongroddMcHugendong: This is going to get way, way worse.
[+7] u/Jehoopaloopa: Can people stop dumping gold? Thanks
[+7] u/ConsiderationKey1658: I miss the days when everything was computer
[+7] u/PeachScary413: Finally unbanned for mentioning the hat people in a slightly negative context related to current events in the middle east 🥰
[+7] u/Thebaxxxx: Thos who bet against the american economy will be the ones who inherit its riches
[+6] u/smart_doge: If your social security number was your bank balance, how rich would you be?
Also what’s your date of birth to compare how you’re doing among your age group.
[+6] u/2020isgreat: "[Nothing will ever happen](https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/comments/1rebc6n/comment/o7dw3lu/)" I wonder how those nothing ever happens people are doing
[+6] u/smart_doge: Market is still open what are you doing here?
[+6] u/Same-Brilliant2014: Just $52 more dollars and my 700c spy is green!
[+6] u/imusuallydrunkatnine: Not great not terrible
[+6] u/i2ye: Could be worse, I could have SMCI
[+6] u/Kitchen-Assist-6645: Thank God this shite week is over. Can't wait for next week's shite.
[+6] u/Gom_KBull: Bols preparing to tell the family that all the money's gone
[+6] u/cinciNattyLight: Well that was a fun fucking week!
[+6] u/NiceOwner: Back to April 2025 levels. 😵💫
[+6] u/GreenGameboyColor: First day of spring and I lose everything 😔
[+6] u/unclefire: What a messed up week and shit market.
[+6] u/StocksStormTrooper: GLD sell off is prolly from Gulf states unloading their gold reserves to plug the income loss from Oil and Gas.
[+6] u/dufusmembrane: 6 beers in what the fuck is going on
[+6] u/president_breadstick: Man it was pretty fucking rough today. I’d be happy if I was sitting on a pile of cash but I been buying the dips for the past few weeks. Didn’t see this drop coming.
[+6] u/zestykite: So I sold my calls at the bottom
[+6] u/bigmeatbag: What worries me about holding these plus is if Donnie croaks in the middle of the night the market will instantly pump like 10%.
[+6] u/HalaMadridPapaFlo: Haha bers. Did you see the V at the end? You lost!
[+6] u/dufusmembrane: first day of spring were fucked
[+6] u/goldtank123: This special operation is really something isn’t it
[+6] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Quick someone post the bear holding a sniper rifle with the bull in the crosshairs
[+6] u/Future_Hyena2562: Can I borrow some rope?
[+6] u/dufusmembrane: dotcom bubble gonna look like
[+6] u/CulturalConclusion76: of course it goes up after calls were obliterated
[+6] u/CaskJeeves: Why would Jimmy Carter do this
[+6] u/AlarmedPelican: Listen up losers. Private equity is running a $1.5 trillion offshore shell game, swapping boomer bonds for high-risk private credit to juice fees. They’ve moved a mountain of funded reinsurance to Bermuda to dodge U.S. capital rules and hide behind principles-based accounting that lets them hold way less cash in reserve. By hiring small-time rating agencies to slap investment grade stickers on what is basically high yield junk, they’ve built a $2 trillion ticking time. Jamie Dimon's "cockroaches". If those offshore plays go guh, liabilities get recaptured back to U.S. books instantly, and the whole house of cards hits a massive insolvency wall.
Now go outside and have a nice weekend o7
[+6] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Boomers may be the the most retarded gaggle of fools to ever exist
[+6] u/jameskwonlee: Against all logic and common sense, $SPY will pump back to 670+ in less than a month.
[+6] u/UnDemen: Can’t Israel deploy Moses and do that sea magic he did before to the strait? That would be cool
[+6] u/DatYoungSquire: Was that fun? Oh, ride's not over, hang tight.
[+6] u/Impossible-Fun2027: Is running the war easier than bankrupting casinos? 🎰
Asking for a friend
[+6] u/SlfImpr: Bought some GLD and TSLA today after staying on sidelines for a long time on these two
Wish me luck 🙏
[+6] u/cannythecat: Futures were green last night and bulls were dancing.
[+6] u/Icommandyou: Low key think markets just realized he had no plans but to escalate into a long term war cause he felt it in his bones
[+6] u/Technical-Teach9205: What’s up with TMC, should I double down? I’m a holder at 6.42
[+6] u/MinoltaMiyata: From a guy who knows bottoming, this aint it
[+6] u/shortitforever: 1970s style gas queues by the end of year
[+6] u/tika_dengu: what time is the draft announcement?
[+6] u/would-rather-read: wow sure hope iran doesn’t start destroying more energy infrastructure as a last resort to crash our economy in the face of an impending invasion
[+6] u/McKoijion: This is the most humiliating war in American history.
[+6] u/ryan1826: My anoos is bleedin'
[+6] u/WarmCan3034: Shut up, I’m still shaking from the drop today
[+5] u/Neel_Crashkari: $8 gas this summer ☀️ lfg!
[+5] u/LarsTarkas: Spy 400 by the midterms
[+5] u/smart_doge: It’s WWW3 time, Weekend War Week 3
[+5] u/D1finalboss: Alright class, pencils down
[+5] u/iFiredIce: Did everyone have fun today?
[+5] u/weewoowewoooo: Who’s making money in this market and why the fuck are you lying? Lmfaooo
[+5] u/NaluknengBalong_0918: Beautiful dancing ghey bears! Bigly! 💃💃💃🤣🤣
[+5] u/Tay_Tay86: Tell your wives the 🐻 s will pick them up at 8 for sushi
[+5] u/orsomeshitidk: Bulls considering joining the IDF to try to wrap this excursion up sooner lol
[+5] u/DCrebuilds: Got absolutely obliterated today. Hopefully we get another Monday recovery before it continues dumping
[+5] u/ExplosiveDlarrhea69: I want my fucking tariff money back you fuck
[+5] u/Same-Brilliant2014: What an amazing day. PL calls sold. Sold some of my SPY puts to cover cost and took some profit, letting a couple more ride and got some new ones i can lose for fun. Amazing day!🐻🇺🇸🐻 All in all, made 13k today. Still potentially 2k more for next week.
[+5] u/baadllama_ghost: Now we may have black Monday
[+5] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: You just witnessed the dip, hope you bought it.
[+5] u/l3eans: Bounce on it crazy style 🤤🤤🤤
[+5] u/Feedback_Entire: Man, I already accepted that I could get drafted and potentially die, but atleast my PLTR calls would print.
But Wtf why is it down rn????
[+5] u/TechnologyEven6926: Silver has really fucked up my year
[+5] u/Mammoth_Bell1440: Can someone explain the volume before market close?
[+5] u/Fast_Signature7684: im back to april lows on my port, -20%, shiet
[+5] u/Soffatjockis: Damn. I should have sold my physical gold at the top but I was too lazy to go to the pawn shop.
[+5] u/Fine_Specialists: Feel bad for people in SMCI and MU. Made so much off those stocks in 2025.
[+5] u/Feedback_Entire: Bers winning but at what cost?
Ber markets are boring as shit.
[+5] u/Kattilaeikka: Imagine if 🥭 kicked the bucket. Every market in the world would instantly rip 5-10% (please Palantir don't put me on mossad's list for shitposting)
[+5] u/PositiveToe2761: “Damn my puts printed today let’s check out the shares account can’t be that much damage… and I’m closing my computer for the day”
[+5] u/Tautol0gic: How the fuck did I actually manage to lose money shorting gold
[+5] u/jameskwonlee: Should've known that Chuck Norris was propping up the market this whole time.
RIP Chuck Norris.
[+5] u/ring_of_slattern: Now that the market’s asleep, it’s time for some wacky weekend war crimes!
[+5] u/sisterbethany: Treasury yields up, SPY down. Can’t have a petrodollar without the petrol.
[+5] u/Celticsmoneyline: bears getting greedy now
[+5] u/LengthObjective2253: The witch thing was all hype to scare bols into buying OTM calls lol
[+5] u/Illustrious-Low4128: Lost a thousand bucks at the end of the day playing spy puts👍🏻
[+5] u/TechnologyEven6926: I cannot believe what I’m about to say
We are not in a bubble
[+5] u/DufflebagJoe: Would you look at that, I’m completely fucked.
[+5] u/gbgbgb1912: Losing world wars is bad for stocks
But winning them is good for stocks
🤔
[+5] u/Ok-Organization1796: Calls will print on the gap up monday morning
[+5] u/Soffatjockis: Feels like fake Internet money is the only safe haven left.
[+5] u/ReftLight: Balls deep in calls if Monday is red for a taco Tuesday "surprise"
[+5] u/pineapplekiwipen: crazy that this rug happened on an opex
[+5] u/Easy_Bar8701: Willing to bet 🥭 is gonna have boots on the ground this weekend. Get ready for another dump on Monday
[+5] u/Feedback_Entire: Pls let JPOW announce rate hikes during his last FOMC.
Pls it would be perfect.
[+5] u/WinstonBuddyBro: Boring 🥱They gotta mix it up next week with some bear and bull traps. I want to see a random 2% gap up during lunch, followed by a circuit breaker -10% at 3 o’clock. Then finish the day green somehow.
[+5] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: this is exactly why you need 2 cars...feeling like a king with 2 gas tanks right now
[+5] u/Haunting_Ad_6021: SPY broke below the 200 EMA, lookout below!
[+5] u/WheelingOptions: I love LA too except for all the homeless around.
[+5] u/Specialist_Fig9458: It’s been a half hour LMAO
[+59] u/apurimac777: ##U RETARDS MISS SLEEPY JOE YET
[+24] u/Ziniology: TRANSLATION: The US is booting boots on the ground and attacking Iran this weekend.
[+23] u/the_mind_goblin1: >i see zero way out of this mess and bought puts. meaning that there will be a solution tonight and it will pump
i posted this an hour ago
[+22] u/Locke_____Lamora: How many times is the war going to end before it's actually over?
[+21] u/Independent-Tree-985: > Trump: U.S. could end Iran military operations ‘right now’ but will continue so Iran can ‘never rebuild’
We 'could' stop, but we wont because Bibi didnt say it was okay
[+21] u/gnanwahs: *DONALD TRUMP STATES THAT THE UNITED STATES IS NEARLY ACHIEVING ITS GOALS AND IS THINKING ABOUT REDUCING ITS LARGE MILITARY OPERATIONS IN THE MIDDLE EAST.
LMAOOOOOOO TACO ALREADY
[+18] u/barbpatch: From my anecdotal studies, exercise, eating lots of fruit and veggies, drinking water doesn't seem to be as effective for weight loss as drug addiction and poverty
[+16] u/jeffynihao: TRUMP: WE DON'T NEED THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ
[+16] u/PlaysWthSquirrels: I'm sure we'll defeat the middle east once and for all this time!
[+16] u/AutomaticAerie4672: I can't wait for the mass selloff of giant V8 F-150s in my area. Make parking lots great again.
[+15] u/wyudtix: So let me get this straight. You need $200 billion to fight the war that you claim was already won two weeks and also isn’t a war at all?
[+15] u/Vort3x7689: Hasn’t he said this like 4 times already
[+15] u/the_mind_goblin1: soooo.. if trump just declares it over but the strait is still closed.... where does that leave us lmao
[+15] u/Snoo23417: > Turning to the Strait of Hormuz, Trump then says it "will have to be guarded and policed, as necessary, by other Nations who use it — The United States does not!"
Not our problem! Good one.
[+15] u/LouieM13: Trump literally posted a statement he doesn’t believe because he saw the market was big red. Sending additional marines doesn’t mean you’re winding down.
Puts will print on Tuesday
[+14] u/ajibtunes: 🥭 on Strait of Hormuz: At a certain point, it will open itself
[+14] u/Fineous40: The bulls we lost today were soldiers of Walltreet Bets. honor them.
[+14] u/Mediocre-Gas-3831: Be retard when retard.
-Warren Buffett
[+14] u/Iceman12145: I cant believe you all are falling for him for a 7th time this week
[+14] u/Swiftnice: There is gonna be a sharp pump at open to trap retail then it will plummet again lol
[+13] u/modder9: USS Tripoli arrives next week. Boots —> ground
[+13] u/beerstearns: If market is not back to ath by April 15 I’m not paying my taxes
[+13] u/Bizonistic: Thank God I have 10,000,000 ready to buy the dip.
But it's in Iranian rial.
[+13] u/rollinhating: if people fall for this " DONALD TRUMP STATES THAT THE UNITED STATES IS NEARLY ACHIEVING ITS GOALS AND IS THINKING ABOUT REDUCING ITS LARGE MILITARY OPERATIONS IN THE MIDDLE EAST. "..........
Anything to save the market, remember, 2 weeks ago the war was finished and he won.. Yet US is sending marines to middle east
[+13] u/diamond12923: SPY earnings release?
[+13] u/betaforever: Yes the war is over, the ground troops are on their way, they'll be back by Monday before the market opens!
[+13] u/No-Improvement3164: Yesterday they did it 30 minutes before closing. Today 30 minutes after closing. Yeah. It’s not rigged. Perfectly normal.
[+12] u/Dat-Boi-6122: What an absolute horror show...
[+12] u/looool_k_libtard: Imagine being worried about going long oil when it’s going to be $800 a barrel by June
[+12] u/mayorolivia: The Strait will reopen itself
[+12] u/New-Length5593: Seeing them try to keep oil down is absolutely fucking hilarious. They know we’re fucked. Just a matter of time.
[+12] u/cyril1991: “It was just a prank bro”
[+12] u/ResidentPack4103: 🥭going to jail for sure
[+11] u/orangeyougladiator: Lambo dealers not picking up the phone when I’m trying to cancel
[+11] u/Wowmuchrya: 1m missiles losing to 10k drones and you’re bullish on spy LMAO
Spy 600 on Monday
[+11] u/Tall_Manufacturer694: BULLS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA 🫵
[+11] u/Wild_Cheesecake_6630: I lost half my port today, I felt so bad bros, I’m want to hit my self to hard
[+11] u/FartPolluter: USA had to retreat from the centre of Baghdad, and plush air conditioned paradises in the Gulf. But yes, a couple thousand marines will land on the beaches of Southern Iran and carve out some settler colony in the middle of all that, control the warerway and that's not cope at all.
[+11] u/mayorolivia: U.S. invading will make selloff in early March look like child’s play
[+11] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: This is like the third time he's tried to taco out of this war
[+11] u/the_mind_goblin1: so we just went into iran, blew it the fuck up, ruined others countries economies, and left them to pick up the pieces LMAO
[+11] u/DrummerCompetitive20: Lol. Trump tacod and we are ripping lol
[+10] u/_Fibbles_: Revenge traded away my weeks gains today, so I'll be revenge drinking this weekend
[+10] u/Material_Formal3679: Current 🥭 administration bungling the bull market feels like fucking up a run on Balatro.
Your crazy JPow Joker ass build has been working. You gotta score 1,000,000,000. You sell your least reliable jokers for the Tariff Joker and End Wokeness Joker.
You score 640,000 on your first hand.
[+10] u/CMDR_Shepard96: Literally every option I buy just shits itself 😐
[+10] u/conflicted_humanist: I will never recover from this. 😭
[+10] u/bc531198: Why would Adam and Eve do this
[+10] u/Used_Novel_4818: How the hell aren't markets way lower?
No TACO'ing out of this one dickstain Donald.
[+10] u/UnivalveX: aftermarket V nobody a part of 😞
[+10] u/Jussttjustin: STRAITS closed ❌️
GAYS.......open ✅️💅👯♂️
[+10] u/stupidber: My girl offered to cut my hair for me I said hell no, I know that trick. She gonna fuck my shit up so I can't cheat on her. Make me look like u/cashflow_
[+10] u/Commercial-District1: Dude I lost so much money today
[+10] u/fredditf: DONALD TRUMP STATES THAT THE UNITED STATES IS NEARLY ACHIEVING ITS GOALS AND IS THINKING ABOUT REDUCING ITS LARGE MILITARY OPERATIONS IN THE MIDDLE EAST.
[+10] u/SnoStrm: 🥭 is doing “war is over” quotes again. I’m almost convinced he’s in the daily thread.
[+10] u/drakilian: Last week: "We'll escort ships through the Strait"
Today: "we don't even USE the strait. You other MFs will have to police that shit yourselves. Maybe if you ask nice we can help out a little"
[+10] u/Moon_Rose_Violet: JURY SAYS MUSK DEFRAUDED TWITTER INVESTORS BEFORE 2022 BUYOUT
[+10] u/Swiftnice: If this was positive information he would have tweeted it during market hours haha
[+10] u/solidsneeze: guarantee 🥭 saw how much the market was down today and put out that message as a reflex
[+10] u/gomper: I think theyre gonna be using those ground troops to take that island over the weekend
[+10] u/Quarter-Normal: Sunday tweet: “we are close to achieving our goal in Iran but first we are implementing boots on the ground in Kharg island.”
[+9] u/Garbage-Disposal-938: Letter to My Broker: Hi Guys. Hey, just want to check in and let you know that I have managed my account in a responsible, intelligent manner so far this year. However, today I hit a bit of a snag. So if you could just go ahead and reset it to the amount it had on January 1st that would be great. Thanks Guys!
[+9] u/Wowmuchrya: There are actual retards in here that think he will “taco” when he just went on TV and begged congress for 200b to continue the “excursion”.
Can’t make this shit up lmao.
Yes bro, he’s just asking for 200b for fun! War over tomorrow!!! Buy now!
[+9] u/lipmanz: The good news is we bottomed two weeks ago according to Tom Lee, so the index numbers must be wrong
[+9] u/gregory601: They print money, it's OK. But when I do it, it's a problem.
[+9] u/Quarter-Normal: No way people actually believe this statement for the what 3rd time? Wild
[+9] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: Did the war end again or is this another cope pump?
[+9] u/lostinspacs: If 🥭 is saying that the war is about to end it means that US marines are going to storm Kharg tomorrow
[+9] u/sonofalando: #HE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH IT!
[+9] u/SnoStrm: “War over soon” is the new “tariff trade deals soon”.
[+8] u/DebtOk4461: The "invisible hand" of the market strikes again...
[+8] u/diefy7321: Must suck being a europoor seeing another country f up your oil prices like that while 🫵ur leaders write up strongly worded letters lmfaooo
[+8] u/IlinistRainbow6: my port went from +50% to -20% in a little over a week. feels bad man
[+8] u/TheDudeAbidesFarOut: Here comes the Tweet about Norris and some imaginary friendship....
Springboarding another death because the dead can't deny a statement.....
[+8] u/Appropriate_One5458: Bul tearing down their 🥭 posters
[+8] u/wildcat1055: Only Afroman can save us now
[+8] u/RagingBearBull: its a good weekend to read about the fall of the roman empire!
[+8] u/CigInside: How did you become bankrupt
Two ways: Gradually , then suddenly.
[+8] u/Dat-Boi-6122: Its always the trades you are so convinced will work that end up raw doggin you...
[+8] u/PlanSeekX01: not buying till this iran clown show is over which is never
[+8] u/M1BG: Why don't the boats just go the other way along the strait of Hormuz and avoid Iran?
[+8] u/Axonum: Triple witching day is usually red. The EOD pump was probably shorts covering before the weeknd
[+8] u/LouieM13: See shit like this is why I don’t buy puts for the weekend
Getting ready to buy puts on Monday EOD tho
[+8] u/caliwillbemine: Iran will surely say thank you and just go back to what they were doing before.
[+8] u/Disc0Disc0Disc0: Its not manipulation if the POTUS does it
[+8] u/sonianevermindX: World peace begins at 5pm business days only
[+8] u/Top-Sir-1215: So did they literally start a war and kill thousands of people because retail was opening too many calls?
[+8] u/wattap: Most obvious move for mango right now is to simply dip out of this quickly and I think he will
[+8] u/drakilian: Between Netanyahu and Trump both saying the war will be over soon I suspect bears will have a very bad surprise in the next two weeks when market rallies like 5% on a pullout
Then bulls will have an even worse surprise when it turns out that the entire market runs on interest rates and private credit imploding nukes the rally and tanks markets another 20-30% in the next couple months
[+8] u/Swiftnice: It will be funny if Iran starts to learn to time their attacks to happen right before market open to cause maximum market panic just to hurt 🥭 haha
[+8] u/Independent-Tree-985: That feeling is the feeling of being alive
[+7] u/Stack_Johnson: Thank god it’s the weekend. The bad man app can’t hurt my saving anymore
[+7] u/drbigtoe: ARE WE ALL HAVING FUN
[+7] u/CMDR_Shepard96: ASML sending me to poor.
[+7] u/TheDudeAbidesFarOut: Holy shit Bondi, is DOW 50K still in those Epstein files...????
[+7] u/The_BakedCrusader: Wow, I got almost zero work done today. Time to treat myself to a nice weekend.
[+7] u/Autistic-Bot: “Let’s repeal the Jones act” said nobody ever except for ….
[+7] u/Bizonistic: SPY volume today is almost twice average volume in the last 30 days. Freak the fuck out and sell everything.
[+7] u/Advanced_Divide_4641: This weekends plans:
Hate my boss
Feed people food
Peer pressure them all to drink more
Hang with dogs while people stfu and eat the food
[+7] u/EnginrA: My poops have powerful odors, I flushed 15 minutes ago and the bathroom still smells
[+7] u/IDrinkSulfuricAcid: So why the fuck are we pumping now exactly..?
[+7] u/tuscanyg36: Just trying to save face. We going to war boys, our guys are already in the middle east.
I wish i could banbet here but in spirit:
!banbet soliders on the ground before Monday
[+7] u/PinealTone: 🥭 should have tweeted at 3.45pm est lmao.. 😅
[+7] u/ConstantSpace5809: There's your daily fake headline, boys! We're considering winding down operations
[+7] u/browsk: He’s trying to taco, but Iran can keep this going even if he doesn’t want to
[+7] u/215aPhillyiated: Welp back to spy 700 next week 😂
[+7] u/browsk: “Those that use the straits should fix this mess we made”
[+7] u/Common_Ad_3059: So the war is over again, pure manipulation by 🥭. Spy 0dte calls on Monday
[+7] u/Independent-Tree-985: Its Waaay too early to be celebrating a jump in futures
[+7] u/Yeezusv: if we are winding down operations we wouldnt have all these active duty assignments coming down, if the war is over .. again. why are we sending so many troops over.
[+7] u/decjr06: After 5 months of searching and making offers I finally closed on a home today.... You should probably buy puts. You can thank me later
[+7] u/jakeisarake: I wish every oil bag holder a terrible time
[+7] u/mannycalls24: I really could've used this 3 hours ago
[+7] u/Warmake: Truly the most regarded person in charge of a country across the globe. Monday will retest today’s lows.
[+7] u/dooosayn: Bulls desperate. Copium elevated. Denial phase. What could possibly go wrong.
[+7] u/No_Current3675: Bruh is straight retarded. Like, really debilitating, nahmean?
[+6] u/apurimac777: If NVDA breaks 170 I march on Washington
[+6] u/I-ProGamer-I: I hope egg prices are not affected. Sounded like this was mangos top priority….
[+6] u/noaholic: Bears waiting SPY reach 0 to join the market
[+6] u/Gunove12: Holding my QQQ Calls over the weekend. Wish me luck nerds
[+6] u/milodino12: So can we talk about the files now?
[+6] u/swarthout2222: $40K worth of calls for next Friday am I cooked?
[+6] u/hellokittyss1: Jesus I have shares and I felt this
[+6] u/bemeandnotyou: Michael, I want my money you motherfucker.
[+6] u/severed02: Will my $750 SPY calls print next week?
[+6] u/gotcreme: Give me my fucking money back!
[+6] u/Who_is_Your_Zaddy: Feeling cute, might buy some SMCI shares
[+6] u/Who_is_Your_Zaddy: Biggest lie I was told here is that war is bullish
[+6] u/mannycalls24: wtf is happening post market
[+6] u/NativePlant870: Alright who opened the strait
[+6] u/Lapidated_Llama: Why the fuck would they trust anything he says. Dumbass market
[+6] u/csr8765: MSFT not even participating 🤣🤣🤣
[+6] u/whatislifebruh: Black Monday averted. Still SPY 630 by Friday 3/27 when the market realizes for the thousandth time everyone else has to agree for the war to be over for it to actually be over.
[+6] u/Wowmuchrya: It’s simple. Buy shares at 3:45 pm every day and sell to overnight retards on RH.
Dumps after 4 am -> repeat next day at 3:45.
Or just buy puts on open for the next month.
[+6] u/ThatGuyDan123: Wars over wrap it up head home everyone
[+6] u/Ok-Piano8789: very legal and very cool how you can see on the index charts the ppl who got the whisper panic buying at 4:40-4:50ish
[+6] u/alone-in-the-chat: that fuck1ng assh0l3
[+6] u/WrexyWrex: The people who wrote the constitution are stupid for having an executive branch. There is no reason for it at all. There should be a parliament separate from Congress and they should have wrote in requirements.
All these historians who praise the constitution are stupid, not anyone should be allowed to govern. Perfect system my ass.
[+6] u/Ecomonist: According to Pam Bondi we are now within the range of talking about the Epstein Files again.
[+6] u/PopularCut4124: Iran is in control hahahaha
[+6] u/Deadweight047: No. Supreme bibi just show him first seconds of some random tape taken from some island
[+6] u/fruitloop00001: Best I can do is Marines landing on Kharg Island, Saving Private Ryan style
[+5] u/fen-q: Markets are mourning Chuck's death. It was never nvdia who supported the market all this time, it was Chuck.
[+5] u/cultoftheclave: RDDT closed green for the third time this week.
The apocalypse is nigh
[+5] u/Maximum-Side-9391: V at end was just MM stuff no reason to buy bottom at that exact moment
[+5] u/riteofpass: Wha the hell was that last minute V
[+5] u/housemoneyrocketship: Guys I think I developed shingles with the stress of losing all my money
[+5] u/Purple_String_7169: Yall were buying puts this week???
[+5] u/Professional_Con_007: I cometh here for the hotline number why the fuck isn't it pinned yet
[+5] u/bc531198: This is Gilgamesh's economy
[+5] u/BalanceWide4735: we already won the war but still we need 200b just to be sure that we win
[+5] u/aqjingson: Uh oh I saw big lobster steak dinners for troops being uploaded recently
[+5] u/CasherburyTales: 2:45 on Friday. Time to get some work done for this week.
[+5] u/Salty-Bid1597: Money isn't everything, girls.
But it is a lot of the things.
[+5] u/mysuruhuduga: Boys relief rally next week ?
[+5] u/astroslostmadethis: $5 for gas? Have you said thank you?
[+5] u/Careless-Maize-8915: Wtf is with that dumpster fire Webull always being 1 of the 6 tickers displayed.
[+5] u/HappierHat: Osama didn't die for this shit.
[+5] u/J_da_CPA: Xi sitting back LHAO
[+5] u/noahmfs: WTF happened at close why the sudden spike?
[+5] u/baoenie: It’s just money right?
[+5] u/Personal-Ebb-4717: I managed to finally use up all my carry over losses (from the meme era) on this year tax return.
After this week, look like I will have new carry over losses for the next few years (or decade) as well.
cheer, go USA.
[+5] u/Wolski101: Guh.
Thank you for your attention to this matter.
[+5] u/Independent-Tree-985: TACO TUESDAYS
FISHY FRIDAYS
[+5] u/Objective_Risk8583: SMCI got fuked, can’t believe i was bullish on this shit a few months ago 🤣
[+5] u/Walking72: Silver we hardly knew ye
[+5] u/EnginrA: Just took a huge dump, was marinating in my colon for a while
[+5] u/ConstantSpace5809: What are they gonna drop on us after the markets close?
[+5] u/jda823: Dow 45000 😂
He was so ahead of schedule, he decided to roll it back
[+5] u/RoyalFail6: The American Nightmare 😟
[+5] u/Hot-Performancy: I bought puts at the very bottom, 4 mins before close…it better keep dipping on “Black Monday”
[+5] u/Reasonable_Cow3667: they are going boots on the ground on Saturday
[+5] u/Robertooo14: LMAO bears so fucked Monday
[+5] u/DriftWoodBarrel: Guys I'm up 100% but the sell button isn't working
[+5] u/way2lazy4u: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
[+5] u/CMDR_Shepard96: Did he tweet war over again?
[+5] u/Illustrious_Pair2990: I regret voting for mango
[+5] u/CompleteChemical4198: dude why did they let it go down so far just to bring it back up after hours
[+5] u/Namtabmal: FUUCCKK WHY DID I SELL IM A FUCKIN IDIOT FUCK OFF
[+5] u/inappropriatetart: Huuh they pump this after hours of course, after they burnt my calls
[+5] u/TripleChen_LLC: NVDA just jumped over $1 in 1 candle, they will pump this so hard and gap up come Monday
[+5] u/Ok-Piano8789: if we take his msg at face value, which of course we cant, the strait not only remains closed (duh its irans decision not his) but he's literally saying we wont even try to help other countries reopen it (a concept that is not even really possible btw) unless they beg us for help (?!) lol
[+5] u/Crazy_Donkies: You were adopted. And they want their money back.
[+5] u/fenton7: Looks like world peace broke out after hours? Waiting for official confirmation.
[+5] u/Briack89: I feel relieved that Constitution only allows 2 terms
[+5] u/Working-Elk-4417: timing your mom < time in your mom
[+5] u/HoosierGuy2014: I’m 41 and have lived through the Dot com crash, 9/11, a global financial crisis, a deadly pandemic, three wars, and now an energy crisis.
[+5] u/optionsmaster42069: We’re literally just about to yeet out of the Middle East and say job is finished lmfao
[+5] u/Urzuck: Imagine still seriously believing what this retard says.
[+5] u/Pale-Fox8199: How is he 🌮’ing this time ?
[+5] u/HaveTwoBananas: The market really believes this retard?
[+5] u/OneLeggedJaguar: I honestly can’t believe that it didn’t V back above 650
[+5] u/Additional_Back_799: Good time to buy if you think about it
[+5] u/AgeMiddle854: I'm bearish right now but bought a call right before the pump. Hope the green Monday continues, then back to regularly scheduled dumping.
[+5] u/CompoteSpecialist618: Alright, I sold my puts today, let's go ahead and go bullish for a week so I can re-enter before the inevitable drilling down to April lows!
[+5] u/Low-Win-6691: TSLA is a bad company
[+5] u/ZeroDayExpiration: You gotta credit card the soap bar vigorously
[+5] u/Mediocre-Gas-3831: You will be the bottom retard in this pile
[+24] u/RemarkableVictory990: The great bull market of 4pm-6pm 03/20/2026
[+20] u/Ok_Worldliness_2902: 🥭: we are winding down our involvement in Iran
Also 🥭: moves 5k marines, 2 amphibious landers and asks for 200b for the war
[+16] u/Cold_Distribution273: Bols 5th time learning the war was ending, they seem to forget it's Bibi who tells 🥭 when the war ends.
[+16] u/throwawaydonaldinho: I like how the market believes “winding down” on the same day the news come out about thousands of troops moving to location.
[+16] u/bearhunter429: #What a moron trying to pump market after Friday's close LMAO🤌
[+15] u/MissMatriarch: How are people still falling for this shit after the 15th time?
Then again… people are the reason we’re being entertained by this clown in the first place.
[+15] u/BjergBetterThanFaker: Mango you crazy son of a bitch you actually made me forget all about those files
[+14] u/AirwickS: Reminder: Trump said war was nearly over on the evening of Day 1.
[+14] u/ShikariV: We are very close to meeting our objectives and ending the war
vs
2500 marines and the 82nd Airborne are headed to the Gulf
[+13] u/LimitIntelligent9946: This dumbfuck thinks he can just TACO out of Iran
[+13] u/mtnrnnr802: How many times is this war gonna end bro
[+13] u/throwawaydonaldinho: I like how Donnie, since he came in has done so much bat shit crazy stuff that everyone started overlooking the most important point.
This man, the leader of the free world and the president of the US, wakes up every morning and paints himself orange.
[+12] u/jonneh: This mfer 🥭 has been talking about “winding down” this thing since the first week. But this time though!!
#
You know what’s winding up? Retardadium 🧪
[+12] u/MissMatriarch: Love how obsessed the bols are over a manipulative message, spread by their fake emperor.
[+12] u/Overall-Web-5435: Can't imagine the gulf states would be okay with the US just dipping out of the strait of hormuz after causing such a ruckus. Not falling for the fake 🌮
[+12] u/LarryStink: If trump was tacoing he would have made that announcement on Sunday night. If trump wanted to be a wolf in sheep's clothing he announces it on friday night. Expect fireworks this weekend in ME.
[+11] u/bearhunter429: #SPY going below $600 next week and below $500 by summer and below $400 by the end of the year. LMAO🤌
[+11] u/LasyKuuga: >🥭 says US considering winding down war in Iran
MOFO REALLY WANTS TO 🌮 OUT OF BOMBING SOMEONES DAD 😂
[+11] u/Rude_Assistance_4386: 🥭 says he's close to finishing the war the same way my wife says she's close to finishing frfr
It's all a fugazi
[+11] u/WayDry848: Pentagon sending 3 more warships, thousands of marines to Middle East: U.S. media reports
@
"We are close to achieving our objectives"
wtf
[+10] u/ComfortablePiglet842: All these afterhours pumps are worthless when we strike iran tonite and wake up saturday to new turmoil. Right back into doom and gloom futes again
[+10] u/NeighborhoodDry1821: Who held puts that were up big, and now your weekend is ruined
[+10] u/Nice-Difference8641: You’d think by the 10th fake taco traders would have picked up on the tacos being fake
[+10] u/Loose_Stool_12: "Winding down" = boots on the ground this weekend.
Bruh's just juicing the market after hours so he and his cronies can cash out before the late close
[+10] u/Amazing-Topic2827: ber r fuk - permabulls at 695
ber r fuk - permabulls at 648
[+10] u/TheMightySet69: Is the market *really* retarded enough to pump this much in AH just based on Mango's meaningless and dubious claim that he'll be winding down the war soon?
[+10] u/TyroneSwoopes: If you’re buying on this pump you can pick up your regard card at any participating moron office from 9-5 Saturday or sunday
[+9] u/PompeiiSketches: Trump cares about the stock market more than I have every cared about anything. Its impressive how consistent it is actually.
[+9] u/TheOriginalBIG: Iran's been calling 🥭's bluff every time, ain't no way they're gonna believe that US and Israel are done with the war
[+9] u/zeren1ty: He’s played right into Iran’s hands here, they will continue to squeeze global oil prices while receiving no military pressure
Why wouldn’t they? Nothing to lose, everything to gain. The fact that USA doesn’t use Iranian oil is irrelevant or else Bessent wouldn’t be out here daily trying to short WTI oil lmao
Once this marinates, SPY will be a bloodbath
[+9] u/Nice-Difference8641: So we’re moving troops to Iran but at the same time “winding down” what the fuck is going on
[+9] u/UsernameTaken_123: Cant wait until they start saying "Iran is 2 weeks away from a nuke" a year down the line again
[+9] u/Competitive_Ride: People really think he cares what people say. He said he won and everyone around him will agree. His friends will buy him some awards for winning the war. It’s over bears pack it up
[+9] u/throwawaydonaldinho: So Trump says “War almost over” for the 17th time this week right after close and the markets believe it… again.
Does he know Iran is still sending missiles with no intention to “wind down” because he tweeted about it?
[+9] u/Clappindemcheekies: I’m going to laugh my ass off if spy opens ridiculously high on Monday morning for no reason.
[+9] u/Otherwise-Buy8155: The market is really tough to trade right now. I think maybe taking a break from trading is also a good option.
[+9] u/Hi_I_am_gosu: we still have pre revenue space stocks worth 35B and people think this market pullback is "scary"
[+9] u/Dry-Operation6112: LMFAO trump is hilarious man. I am the sole cause of this shit show, when I'm done I want everyone else to clean it up.
[+9] u/MissMatriarch: Like this is going to be the end…. LOL gullible bulls
[+9] u/Syllabub_Visual: just send it down 5% on Monday so some of us can finally make money…
[+9] u/Q4shm0ney: It literally pumps whenever mango says anything now, even if its nothing lol. Everyones expecting him to save the day
[+9] u/svpa3991: Bols: “all it takes is one tweet to fk your puts”
Too bad that shit comes after hours so your calls still fuk 😂
[+9] u/natalie_merchant_fan: this is the fakest pump ever
[+8] u/cow_grass: All the AH gains will be lost by 8. Its another nothing burger announcement
[+8] u/Competitive_Ride: Iran be like thanks for making our dictator 30 years younger
[+8] u/SuperSix: If anyone is falling for that waffle while they're busy steaming boats in theatre you deserve all the losses you're gonna get
[+8] u/Flat-Focus7966: Bears that did not close their puts are cooked....
[+8] u/ukweeve: It might bounce but oh boy it’s gonna drill thereafter.
[+8] u/FuckElonMuskkk: Bulls talking a lot of shit for getting their anuses ripped open today 🤔 they gf must be getting them cheeks clapped by their bear bf with the brambo.
[+8] u/hermeskino715: Breaking news: Some brave bols have breached the island in an attempted takeover. Bols wants to end the war before Monday and recapture the 7000 dream
Meanwhile, bers are lining up to eat a triple baconator combo at Wendy's served by the leftover bols
[+8] u/horseisahorse: I can't get over how ridiculous this shit has gotten... like I don't even know how I would explain any of this or express what I'm feeling at the moment to people who don't follow any of this
[+8] u/Remarkable_Owl: THE WAR IS OVER! THERE IS NO REASON TO DOUBT THAT IT IS ACTUALLY OVER!
[+8] u/NarpRocks: They just sent another ship of Marines from California which will take 3 weeks to arrive. There is no taco, it's just a lie to pump markets until afterhours ends.
🥭 will escalate over the weekend and Iran will strike more energy facilities starting on Sunday.
[+7] u/Ok_Environment_3618: 🌮 told his friends that he is going to release a 🌮 tweet and y see exactly in the last 15 min insiders bought whatever they can.
[+7] u/Clappindemcheekies: Peace talks this Sunday. Book it.
[+7] u/Exotic-Marsupial4611: Everyone commenting about Iran and the markets, which means in this sea of comments, no one will see that I am gay
[+7] u/hiphopanonomos: That after hours low volume pump lmao we are so cooked
[+7] u/Beazt11123: gonna be green all weekend
[+7] u/WonUpH: Maybe stopping the israel before they started incinerating everything worthy in the region would have been the right thing to do 🤷
[+7] u/TestingLifeThrow1z: 82nd Airborne Division deployed into the Middle East region to assist boots on the ground campaign.
[+7] u/AirwickS: Iran has real leverage, and there’s no obvious fix.
Mango’s cut and run post seems a pressure tactic after being rebuffed by NATO allies.
We’ll see how they respond.
[+7] u/zonestarx: You know he told his buddies to buy at the end of the day, Gonna be up big Monday
[+7] u/WallofNarwhal: Yeah. I’m never owning a house at this rate lol
[+7] u/LarryStink: Bols celebrating with champagne Friday night and cream of sumyungman behind Wendy's by Monday open
[+7] u/MarienBean: So much manipulation, i love it!
[+7] u/aa73gc: Oil starting to creep up again. This may be a short term bounce
[+7] u/ThrowRA-KB: Let’s me get something straight.
- 200B additional funding from pentagon
- 2000 marines headed for BOTG
- Strait is still closed
- Iran is still not backing down and bombing refineries and tankers
And yet 🥭 is “winding down”? Lmfao I ain’t buying this shit
!banbet SPY 640 7d
[+7] u/RemarkableVictory990: you are retarded if you think a tweet solves everything
[+7] u/jonneh: > U.S. jury finds Elon Musk liable to Twitter shareholders in securities fraud lawsuit related to $44 billion takeover, court records show.
#
Elonia crash out on X in 5, 4, 3…
[+7] u/nolanjp: "US Deploys 3 Warships, 2,500 More Marines To Middle East" Afghanistan 2.0
[+7] u/Pale_Newspaper_82: Don't worry bears, SPY is already giving up its fake AH gains
[+7] u/Bluesquare9: I think the coming couple weeks are basically unpredictable. We’ll see what weekend has in store.
[+6] u/Pale_Newspaper_82: So as soon as I sell my calls near the bottom the market recovers. Huh. Great.
[+6] u/Normal_Tap3021: Why is it pumping after hours, is the war over?
[+6] u/brave100: so arent the marines going towards iran? a fake out to pump the market after hours?
[+6] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: Lol wow so he really thinks he can turn it off and on again
[+6] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: Bears seething in the daily. When will you learn that donny will doing anything to stop bears from being profitable, no matter how right they are
[+6] u/killcon84: Imagine believing this.
[+6] u/7fingersDeep: Market pumping afterhours and not reading the fine print.
Mango TACOed out but is leaving an upper decker in the Hormuz Strait for everyone else to clean up.
I'm sure removing the most powerful Navy in the world from Hormuz and just, waves hand, letting nature run its course is gonna work out great.
[+6] u/Informal-Composer226: The markets trended sideways for 6 months regardless of Iran, & now it’s dipping. This isn’t the time to fomo in
[+6] u/Mental-Weakness-567: Wouldve been cooler if it did this before i lost 2gs today
[+6] u/sunmbitch: Begging for ppl to die so your puts can print is next level degen
[+6] u/BEAR_STEARNS_CEO: Agreed but people are gonna die whether you buy puts or not, so just buy them.
[+6] u/Competitive_Ride: Some of you bears sound like you want it to keep going
[+6] u/JohnnyUtahMfer: Just like 2 pals who argue sometimes. Totally normal
[+6] u/Happy-Champion1661: the only way to win this rigged game is to not play
and when shit is finally fixed, maybe jump back in (slowly)
even if this pump 2-3% on Monday, it would only go to 660, long way to go back up
[+6] u/MissMatriarch: Can’t wait to see all the bearish escalations that’ll unfold this weekend
G’night regards
[+6] u/RemarkableVictory990: Bulls are coping with after hour movement where they're still red incomprehensible
[+6] u/TreGet234: To think we all could have just panic sold that weird loony tunes monday after the war started where somehow the US market wasn't dipping yet at all.
[+6] u/Abe2025: Wsb regards thinking we open Monday bc of after market moves when its all just buying dips. Get rug pulled again lmao
[+6] u/Key-Chemistry7151: Gold chart is terrifying
[+6] u/Frozen_Shades: Rates cuts might be off the table for the rest of 2026. 😂🤣👍🥭
[+6] u/Coley44: lmfao he's already trying to fucking pump it. Let's see how long the short term gains hold through Tuesday afternoon cause Monday will be another biblical pump on low liquidity as always. Same shit different day
[+6] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: “their 0DTE calls expired worthless today?”
“pump it 1% after hours”
[+6] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: Now I know for sure my neighborhood bear is gonna be digging out of my trash bin tonight
[+6] u/octopus4488: I an picturing this:
Lazy Friday afternoon, MangoBango says:
"Aah, I am bored... Aha! Watch this! I am gonna fuck those reddit kids up! Give me the phone!"
[+6] u/Split_Seconds: When will you all realize he does not give a fuck.
And that also includes all of you.
[+6] u/Happy_Fly_7691: Paying for oil with Yuan. Bye bye petrodollar.
[+5] u/Turd-Cutter3: Didn’t realize MSFT was the worst stock of all time when I bought leaps a month ago
[+5] u/Pury101: Are there retards still listening to that guy ? He's been talking about "winding down" and having achieved his objectives(nobody really knows what they are) since the first week of the war lol.
[+5] u/Competitive_Ride: Thinking of booking a fancy hotel in Dubai since they’re cheap rn and war is practically over.
[+5] u/J4zi: Ofc my SPY call expires worthless but is printing in after hours
[+5] u/ih8myylife: come monday... bers r fukt
[+5] u/StonksInvesteur: Did you win this week?
[+5] u/brute-forced: Puts on everything. His war is out of control.
[+5] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: Did Iran just buy the dip?
[+5] u/Rude_Assistance_4386: Idk man seemed like a lot more than three witches out there today to me 😮💨
[+5] u/LarryStink: There will certainly be no escalation this weekend after our fearless leader claims victory and the war being over soon for the 3rd week in a row.
[+5] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: #’Picture of Trump pointing up to your port’ I Did That 👆
[+5] u/AegonTheMeh: Someone fucked up the timing for the scheduled “war is almost over” truth social post.
[+5] u/Molten-Helldiver: Why didn’t the retard tweet during market hours 😭😭😭
[+5] u/Top-Meaning2626: Why wouldn't oil just go up by 25% in the we lose 20% of the world's oil
[+5] u/Evander85: They will write stories about the March 20th AHs pump of 2026 that lasted 2 hours
[+5] u/Pale-Silver-8178: Dont get excited for weekend oil shit was flat last time just chill
[+5] u/crywhenugetolder: March Madness officially changed to March Sadness
[+5] u/NewAccount428412: Today was fake and gae
[+5] u/Waiting4Reccession: This cocksucker pumping it after we all hit max loss in the close
[+5] u/Own-Wolverine-5361: Iran declares force manure
[+5] u/Iknowyougotsole: Couldve used that announcement during market hours
[+5] u/svpa3991: Stepped away for 2 hours to cry outside the casino and come back to see my calls could of been saved sooner. The house is evil
[+5] u/LasyKuuga: Its crazy how quick some of yall go from being food stamp experts to geopolitics experts.
Hi its me
[+5] u/SanchoVilla91: Man. This is such BS
[+5] u/Happy-Champion1661: up 1% AH you can't make this shit up
[+5] u/Double_Anybody: There’s no way this guy waits till market close to say he’s winding down US involvement in Iran
[+5] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: Go on, undo the whole damn day
[+5] u/Lazy_Consequence8838: Could’ve used that pump before market close. Lost 6k in power hour.
[+5] u/Coley44: Close to ending the war but need a sweet two hundred billy and a couple thousand boots on ground. Interesting!
[+5] u/IamtryigOKAY: Manipulate me harder daddy Mango
[+5] u/Idlehour_Knives: Even if 🥭 does taco It seems too late at this point. He has destabilized that entire region and caused cause supply and energy shocks that are going to take a long time to sort out even if he left right now.
And it's not like Iran is just going to go back to normal if he does Taco. If they don't keep the strait closed and keep pressure high for a while they will have no deterrent to prevent this from happening again.
[+5] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: I think spy could still get another 10% haircut
[+5] u/kal14144: I believe that’s called “losing”
[+5] u/Loose_Stool_12: Baron spent his birthday money on everything 🥳
[+5] u/cryptohorn: So he lost and is taking his toys home
[+5] u/tgff333: Why does it still seem like Monday will be deep red
Also he had all day to announce this...
[+5] u/ziggyho: Wrapping up operations while sending more assets. Ok
[+5] u/Ok_Persimmon9849: The admin just asked for $200 billion for the war, I cannot believe anyone is falling for this fake TACO. Gonna be instantly transformed into exit liquidity by Tuesday lmao.
[+5] u/throwawaydonaldinho: Does Donnie think just because hes “winding down” Iran is just going to be chill with allied ships going through the strait?
[+5] u/Think-Mongoose-4864: Market is looking for any reason to go up. When Hormuz reopens it will rip. Til then it is probably scary
[+5] u/MissMatriarch: SPY’s already falling back down.
Where are the bols?
[+5] u/Hoopdoop123: Anyone baught lotto calls ?
[+5] u/Random_Yoohooser: I just KNOW you lot bought calls for no reason.
[+5] u/Cav829: Honestly SPY should have sold off harder. Fucking long bonds sold off harder than SPY today.
[+5] u/Jebne: Wtf did he say. Where are u finding this info
[+5] u/Comprehensive-Eye547: Whats the point of a weekend pump… monday dump with invasion
[+5] u/LasyKuuga: So is 🥭 gonna get a Nobel peace 🏆 for ending this Iran war 🤔
[+5] u/gkdjsl: Why is there an AH pump, what the fuck happened
I fucking sold my calls, kill me now with a Shahed 136
[+5] u/BillyShears2015: Bulls in for a rough weekend now that they can only afford half a tank for their wife’s car
[+5] u/grantern2: In the last 30 minutes I effectively placed 6 bets on roulette and lost every single one. Fuck, I wish the market was open longer. I’m so fucking due
[+14] u/colinr813: If you believe this pump I’ll sell you some oceanfront property in Arizona
[+14] u/DesignerSea494: Ever see someone so ugly you mutter under your breath, “Wow. That’s unfortunate.”
Well stop. I have very good hearing.
[+12] u/burtburtburtcg: Yall remember “15 days to slow the spread”?
[+12] u/Zeppu: I didn't care about Iran before this ridiculous war, now it's a country I respect 💅🔥
[+12] u/Slightlybadpicks: She wants to come over for seggsy time but I I’ve been pounded so hard by the market I don’t think I have it in me now 😭😭😭
[+11] u/sfeicht: Just because Trump is saying the war is winding down doesn’t mean the Iranians will. The whole region is now destabilized with no sign of regime change coming.
[+11] u/Excel_Spreadcheeks69: Imagine loving fat ass white girls and having a cock so small you can’t get through the cheeks
Can’t be me
[+11] u/OftenOlives: 🥭: One TACO please.
Iran: The kitchen is closed.
🥭: That's cool I'll make my own. Good luck everybody else.
We truly live in a joke world.
[+11] u/halcyonmaus: Trump said one offhand thing about 'winding things down' the same day they shipped another 2500 Marines into theater and oil prices dropped. The market really is built of blind hope and regards.
[+10] u/peterpeer9: If you're a man and you're going through a rough time, just remember that nobody cares. And it gets worse
[+10] u/Technical_Pace_4205: Just got my prescription for Adderall. Tomorrow I make $1 million.
[+10] u/Apprehensive-Art4702: https://preview.redd.it/zqd8fe8p9aqg1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=17838e2bf08947bffe1bee682597275b037032ba
I have a few cents left. I got this. Plz lord.
[+10] u/patcakes: I fully expect POTUS to rename the Strait of Hormuz to the Strait of America.
[+10] u/Thetatterer: Anyone who lives away from home during the week for work knows the feeling getting off at your exit when you get back for the weekend 🥰
[+10] u/Poor_Life-choices: Not falling for this again
[+9] u/CardiologistEqual336: Gyna: does nothing, wins 👍
[+9] u/Mcluckin123: Orangeman’s post about “considering” winding down (whilst sending over thousands of troops) is clearly meant to reassure the markets, but why post now? Why not do it just before open on Sunday night?
[+9] u/Aggravating_Sir_4709: War is won.
Bombs drop.
Its getting close.
Every refinery blows up.
We're winding down.
Sends in thousands of troops.
The PDF MMs still run with these FAKE headlines when the facts on the ground are completely different.
[+9] u/Seagullslovefries: Us is cooked, ramadan fasting is over. The Iranian instead of using 20% of their energy they could now use 100% of their energy now
[+9] u/SuitablChange: What a garbage market I can't help but laugh.
[+9] u/TimujinTheTrader: I think people are underestimating how many troops would actually be required for a ground invasion of Iran.
It would absolutely require conscription to be successful.
[+9] u/colinr813: There’s really people in here saying we would easily beat Iran in a boots on the ground invasion? Puts on Reddit average IQ.
[+9] u/jmc774: Can't believe Chuck Norris dying had such an effect on the market
[+9] u/StandardDot5115: I'm only three 10-baggers away from retirement
[+9] u/Initial_Ad_9250: I am a bol but this so called pump is fake. They gonna rug y'all on Monday
[+8] u/exhibit304: I don't think this is done. You don't send a warship with 2500 marines on a week's long voyage for nothing. You also don't ask for 200B
However I feel like he underestimated the strait of hormuz mess. Opening it up will need boots on the ground and maybe these news articles are having huge backlashes so he's backing out. Who knows
[+8] u/Excel_Spreadcheeks69: Why do people flex dogshit meals on here
If it aint steak, ribs, roast, brisket, pussy or a good sandwich shut up
[+8] u/ilwb: I know 🥭's not big on the whole idea of it but don't you need mutual consent to wind down a war?
[+8] u/f0xinaround: So are the boobs on the ground or no??
[+8] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: Winding down war by asking for $200b and sending more marines and navy ships
[+8] u/SomePolack: Idk what to tell you but this war is lasting until Fall
You don’t ask for $200b because it’s winding down on a Friday night with no resolution to the crisis
[+8] u/Mcluckin123: Oddly the us and Israel are bombing Tehran tonight - watch their actions not their words
[+8] u/Full_Boysenberry_198: Let’s not get beat by 16 seed Iran
[+8] u/Radiant_Yesterday_51: Waving sanctions on Iranian tankers and possibly launching a ground invasion all in same day? I can't comprehend this reality anymore lol
[+8] u/ClaytonRook: BREAKING "Trump mulls 'winding down' war and leaving Strait of Hormuz crisis to 'other nations" LOL
[+8] u/GeoBro3649: THOUGHTS ARE HAPPENING about winding down. As we move more troops to the Strait. Typical regarded messaging from 🥭
[+7] u/shinigami_2245: lol, jk, boots on the ground- Donald, probably
[+7] u/neutralpoliticsbot: It’s taco time I’m glad I loaded on calls
[+7] u/Excel_Spreadcheeks69: Getting titty fucked behind home depot tonight for some extra liquidity to buy calls
[+7] u/Glittering_rolex_420: Nuke now, gives a few days, then we green Monday
[+7] u/Valkorion335786: 🥭 has a chance to do the funniest thing by deleting his truth social and making an account here
[+7] u/Noble_Bastard: LMAO. Raytheon is up .83% afterhours. Special operation is over, but the war is about to begin.
[+7] u/twistnblaze: after hours low vol pump on desperation tweet, predictable. long time til sunday futes tho
[+7] u/CardiologistEqual336: woah $1trillion wiped out today
that’s like a lot of money
[+7] u/Ill-Expression1737: i think trump regrets starting this war
[+7] u/Excel_Spreadcheeks69: Smoking hot brunette with an audi q5 with a handicap sticker just flicked cigarette butts at me, think she wants to fuck?
[+7] u/bikkhu42: JUST MADE 20 CHICKEN NUGGIES, GOT MY DIET COKE AND SOME BUFFALO SAUCE READY
[+7] u/Whoopziedaisy: Uncle Sam wants your 401k for the war effort, patriots!
[+7] u/Swaggerpro: It’s because they knew nothing other than post war prosperity and had every opportunity to advance themselves, and now don’t realize just how much the world has changed for the worse in regards to financial stability (and pretty much everything else). Fools indeed. Their ignorance is absolutely insane
[+7] u/cashflow_: Can’t chat at supermarket returning sardines
https://preview.redd.it/cqit3k3bcaqg1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6f35b7f2cfb9a20578c2ee768828310f50cee261
[+7] u/Technical_Scallion_2: Iran is both a severe and imminent nuclear threat yet completely obliterated. All at the same time
[+6] u/Antique_Cabinet8416: he's too busy posting ai fairies that look like his ex and cocomelon knockoff slop
[+6] u/givemethestars000: Oil is kinda like fuckin retarded
[+6] u/SeaweedLeft9746: Just because 🥭 TACOd doesn't mean Iran has, $150 oil next week
[+6] u/Laurensio_: Holy shi were so cooked
[+6] u/Fantastic_Welcome_61: Don’t think you can unilaterally wind down a war if the other side just keep bombing…
[+6] u/DeezSpicyNuts: Maybe America makes a law where every 50 years we Logan’s Run the top 10% of wealthy individuals and start fresh without lizards owning everything for a while, could be nice
[+6] u/SupaGai: If you held puts through that close idk what to say..
[+6] u/Gassed_Up: Balls deep in 3X leveraged Brent oil… how screwed am I on monday?
[+6] u/ev01ution: I thought 🥭 sending troops to Iran? Why is ah up?
[+6] u/freddymojo: The only female voices I ever hear are my AI assistants. Nvidia to 1000
[+6] u/RockasaurusRex: 🥭 so incompetent he's using Clippy to plan the war, not even ChatGPT.
[+6] u/jg0nzalez22: I dont understand how a single tweet moves this market
[+6] u/rooftop_druid: Because it’s an announcement from the us president on strategy. As dumb as that is calling it a single tweet is disingenuous
[+6] u/cashflow_: I ordered dinner from my favorite healthy food restaurant but I don’t think I’m gonna post a pic of it today I can’t handle the mean comments not today after my fight with security over not wearing a t shirt
[+6] u/long_jons: Does anyone feel like the second you buy the options contract the stock goes in the opposite direction?
[+6] u/f0xinaround: Love all the permabulls celebrating like they didnt get their backs blown out for the last 3 days.
[+6] u/Fantastic_Pirate3948: u/31andnotdone promised u/cashflow_ pics yesterday and he didn’t get any. He is currently gooning to lingerie ads out of desperation.
[+6] u/Confident_Bee1447: Why is Biden like this
[+6] u/Ill-Expression1737: im down to my last 15k .. im afraid ill blow it all.
[+6] u/Unemployable1593: Basil Hayden Manhattan
[+6] u/kim82352: > WASHINGTON, March 20 (Reuters) - President Donald Trump said on Friday the U.S. was getting very close to meeting its objectives as it considers winding down its military efforts in the Iran war and called on countries that use Strait of Hormuz to guard and police it "as necessary."
[+5] u/No_Mercy_4_Potatoes: Then red by Monday open
[+5] u/Mcluckin123: Now why would he say this whilst sending thousands of troops and equipment ? 🤔 🥾 on the ⛰️ 🇮🇷 https://www.reuters.com/business/energy/trump-tells-israel-not-repeat-strikes-iranian-energy-crisis-deepens-2026-03-19/
[+5] u/AdCritical5383: Imagine a normie without a gambling addiction. Sad!
[+5] u/HedgehogGood7411: watch SMCI rebound to ATH's next week and Gold keep plummeting, now that the war is "winding down" lol
[+5] u/Yousoldmetohigh: Low volumes pumps, high volume drops.
[+5] u/ZealousidealSector19: I lost money today on SPY calls
[+5] u/Ill-Expression1737: i was in such a high entering the day.. being up 5k so far this week and all.. ended up losing 6k today.
On a friday too.. got a weekend to be depressed
[+5] u/drpa1n: With that close I’m unsure who is fuk
[+5] u/XX_AppleSauce: Oh thank god it’s over.
[+5] u/callsonreddit: how was your day? tell me your sins
[+5] u/AMCorBUST2021: I know entirely too much about you guys bowel movements
[+5] u/conkilln: I don’t even care what spy is gonna be monday, i’ll worry about that monday. Gonna stay off the market and hang w my wife and kid and wake up to a bunch of money going in a direction
[+5] u/Ill-Expression1737: i lost 6k today. today fcking SUCKS
[+5] u/xxxMarilee: I just gotta say that I am getting royally pissed at mango making statements that move the market one direction only to move it the other direction shortly thereafter. Look at after hours since he posted that the war is coming to an end. Why didn't he say that this morning before many of us took a blood bath on our holdings.
[+5] u/BooBrew32: Today: (buys calls) Mmmmmmmaybe I'll wind down the war.
Monday: (sells calls) Mmmmmmmaybe I'll escalate instead.
[+5] u/GenesGeniesJeans: What’s everyone drinking?
[+5] u/Little-Influence1654: Praying I don’t get doxed but I live in Missouri and I’m pretty sure I just heard a stealth bomber
[+5] u/whyshw: I ate shit this month. Should’ve stayed away but couldn’t resist the volatility
[+5] u/EggersIsland: That 656 candle better be real fucking indicative
[+5] u/unusual_xyz: and that's how you end the war. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
you gotta love him just for his signature.
[+5] u/sloanemonroe: lol. I just read his post about winding down the war. This is either an attempt to fool Iran about a ground invasion or just complete nonsense.
[+5] u/SovietPower777: Exit liquidity for his friends
[+5] u/callsonreddit: u/31andnotdone is meanie ber
[+5] u/Valkorion335786: I’ve entered a timeline where bers hold all the data and solid reasoning for their poots
But I am forced to buy calls because supreme leader can just make random shit up and we pump
[+5] u/Noble_Bastard: I'm confused. Is the war that never was a war, but needed $200 billion for the war, on or off again?
[+5] u/Philweir: Nothing says free market capitalism better than imported Slovenian prostitutes.
[+5] u/Salty-Bar-1975: "It is better to lose one hundred battles than to release one file"
[+5] u/NervousChemistry7401: You can tell who bought puts right before close.
[+5] u/coronanona: Bols desperate for anything, even a tweet with a maybe
[+5] u/Character_Pirate_152: They asked for $200 billion and are sending big ships loaded with marines. This is not ending soon. In fact, I think they are about to try to do something completely retarded. I am scared for the lives of those 3K marines.
[+5] u/The_Albertino: Unless there was some error today was the largest SP500 outflow in over a year. $VOLSPD
[+22] u/cbusoh66: Barron, we know you lurk around. Happy Birthday.
P.S. Your dad is a douchebag
[+15] u/Commercial_Seat_3704: I genuinely don’t understand why the market even reacts to this retard anymore. He obviously has no clue what’s going on and just makes shit up.
[+15] u/Contango_withme: We should put a suction cup dildo on the roof of our cars so we can spot each other in public.
[+14] u/SpyBagholder: People that bought puts congrats… just found out that many people I know are getting deployed to the Middle East… this shit ain’t over yet by a long shot
[+14] u/You_Cant_Win_This: Or just 1 EV you retard
[+13] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: Looks like we're in a fucked/fucked situation with the Strait of Hormuz.
The US can't stay on its ass. The longer it stays closed, the worse things get for world economies.
But it's looking like they'll have to put boots on the ground if they want to get this expedited.
Both options are gonna hit markets like a hammer.
[+12] u/Honest-Handle-7282: anyone elses port been getting absoultely cooked all 2026?
[+12] u/Mr-Bonnet: MY LANDLORD IS SO FUCKED
IF THESE CALLS DONT PRINT NEXT WEEK
[+11] u/NotMe357: "The Pentagon is deploying thousands of additional Marines and three warships to the Middle East, per Reuters"
[+11] u/Glock7enteen: Market is pumping from fake news lol.
Reports that Trump said “We will be winding down with the war..” and market pumped
Except an hour later he said to a reporter “We won’t stop until we achieve all of our objectives”
[+10] u/AideApprehensive7441: Lolz love that the market thinks this is a unilateral decision and Iran can’t keep that shit shut down for as long as they want. Stoked for the pump ready for the dump.
[+9] u/Defiant-Fee-7550: Currently on my way to Colombia 🇨🇴 to meet the girl of my dreams 🤌😦🤌
[+9] u/cevapi_jelopy: So glad i held thank u manipulation
[+9] u/Mr-Bonnet: ^(THIS PERMA BOL)
IS NOT
**HAVING**
# A GOOD YEAR
[+8] u/-IQ200: Today mentally cooked me. Didn’t lose money, but missing three 10x plays feels just as bad.
[+8] u/falken2023: Friday AH, 🥭: Thinking of winding down the war.
Saturday: Boots on the ground taking Kharg island.
🥭: Wait, Rubio and Hegseth told me there were WMD’s on Kharg. 🥭: They made me do it, it’s all their fault.
Typical 🥭 maneuver.
[+8] u/Zetice: We are now buying oil from the country we are bombing 😭
[+8] u/Mr-Bonnet: # MODS POST THE FUCKING HOTLINE YOU COWARDS
[+8] u/oldprecision: Saw some regard spreading copium on Fox that voters will forget this by election day
[+7] u/AdditionalMany1292: Just remember the more the market tanks the more likely🥭 is gonna fuck up your puts. Bears have to play on hard mode. Bulls just have to buy the dip it’s not a fair fight
[+7] u/Ninja_Cooter: Thank fuck this week is over.
[+7] u/cevapi_jelopy: Asking for $200 billion to send troops and then saying “eh we might not” lmfaoooooo classic TACO
Calls until puts
[+7] u/g____19: “We are winding down operations but will put troops to monitor the situation”
[+7] u/Disconn3cted: Living in Japan, I'm always so confused when I wake up. I got to bed down 6% and wake up +1%. What the fuck happened while I was asleep. *Every day*
[+7] u/wrongrobertpatrick: I’m tired of these future crimes
[+7] u/Traditional-Bet2379: Sticking to intraday shares trading (only holding shares positions for several seconds to several minutes during regular trading hours), while this goes on.
Unless unrealized losses turn me from a trader to an investor.
[+6] u/DonDiabloTheGreat: “What do you think of gas prices going up?” - reporter
“Honestly, I expected worse.” - 🥭
“So you were fine if life got much worse for Americans?” - reporter
“Look, it’s Joe Biden!” - 🥭
[+6] u/Mr60SPX: Alright kids, from the top…
You are an insurance company. You got a ton of money and you need yield. The boring stuff… it doesn’t pay, so you start looking at private credit. Nice returns, but risky. The suits in regulation say, ‘because of the risk, if you are going to do that, hold more capital.’
We do not like that.
So here is what you do.
You don’t buy the risky loans directly. No, no… you take those loan(s) and put them into a fund. Now it is a portfolio, looks a little cleaner already.
Then you take that fund… and you put it into a separate vehicle. An SPV.
Now here’s the magic..
That SPV issues bonds. Proper bonds. Rated. Investment grade.
So instead of owning risky loans… you own an investment grade rated bond.
Regulators see ‘bond’… and suddenly you don’t need to hold as much capital.
Same risk underneath.
And that, my friends, is how the game is played.
[+6] u/Dry_Slip_1640: ‘’Jim Cramer says to prepare for further stock declines but be open to opportunities’’ it’s in boiis
[+6] u/Overall-Fold-9720: >We are getting very close to meeting our objectives as we consider winding down our great Military efforts in the Middle East
LMAO, someone will get a quick phone call, and say the complete opposite by monday
[+6] u/Common_Arm_9348: Cognitive debt is my new favorite phrase thanks to Amazon, I wish I had in in high school.
Professor: "Why did you fail this test?"
Me: "Cognitive debt. Amazon uses it, it's fancy."
[+5] u/GuyFieriFrostedTips: I love that the market reacts so violently to utter BS from 🥭. WAR IS WINDING DOWN - OK BOYS, WAR CANCELLED /s 😂
[+5] u/Witty293: Could easily run back to 450 in a couple months but that's wishful thinking. MSFT just a piece of turd at the moment.
[+5] u/ThinCrusts: Enjoy the weekend losers
[+5] u/DylanCodsCokeLine: Over a year later and I’m still waiting on this “Winning” 🍊speaks off
[+5] u/Swimming_Middle_7476: but at least DOW is at 50,000... right???
[+5] u/xlmtothemoon: ok who wants to go all in to ScaMCI with me?
[+5] u/tachyonvelocity: Something going on after hours: DJIA losses are recovering
Trump: We're getting very close to meeting our objectives **as we consider winding down our great military efforts** in the Middle East
Trump says other nations must guard Hormuz, not us
[+5] u/I_Sniff_Uranus: So you’re telling me there’s still a chance? Should I cancel my bankruptcy filing request?
[+5] u/Wrong_Imagination_13: Fyi. If you load up on puts that aren’t 0 dte gambles after the big drawdown already happened. You’re just flat out stupid lmao
[+5] u/yeahyoubored: it's volatile out in these streets boys
[+5] u/BlueSkysnBlueChips32: Re-watching Billions to see how Dollar Bill did it...
[+5] u/thefrozen_one: He said the Straight of Hormuz should be policed by the countries who use it, the US doesn’t use it. Wellp, time to wrap it up boyz we’re outta here
[+14] u/BFox1982: Mango really thought he could decide when the war ends. 🤣
[+13] u/ImOnTheBus: bet some aliens are watching us just blow up and set each other's oil on fire like "what the fuck?"
[+12] u/pinghing: BREAKING: The US will be de-escalating the Iran situation with 2200 Marines on the ground!
[+11] u/BenySpaghetty: Sitting up on the beautiful coast, back against some rocks. Breeze whipping through my hair. My cousin is loading an RPG onto his quadcopter. My brother is loading a buoy mine into his rowboat. I chamber my AK and pop a few shots out across the strait at a bulk carrier. It's a good day.
[+10] u/greyenlightenment: nothing changed between now and 3 weeks ago. no one is winning. nothing is over
[+10] u/greyenlightenment: Attacks resume on weekend as always. same pattern as always
[+10] u/Rosebunse: Well, the cops found a human skull by a beaver dam in the creek behind my work. It's so surprising. I had no ideas we had beavers back there!
[+10] u/NewDawn101: So many women just asking for money on social media. It’s like digital panhandling
[+10] u/HowWeLikeToRoll: Nice! That's like 6 wars 🥭 has ended in the last 2 weeks, it seems like every other day he's saying a war is over! Winning!!!!
[+9] u/Boheed: Airline CEOs are expecting oil to hit 150 - 175. Screw the news, they have actual data.
It's Joever
[+8] u/54108216: Crude trading like a biotech in clinical phase
[+8] u/tinydisaster: Iran fired two mid range ICBMs at Diego Garcia . 4000km away. Further than their known capabilities were previously thought. Way the fuck over there. One failed in flight. The other had one interceptor fired from a US warship. Sauce- Agenda free TV reading WSJ on YT.
[+8] u/Dude_with_Dollas: Who da fuk bought 91k 700$ Tesla calls expiring March 27? Show yourself. Someone hedging.
[+8] u/Morocier: I hate this fucking website
[+8] u/Alatarlhun: It isn't about you winning. It is about them losing.
[+7] u/Routine-Agent-160: War is over. Bears are going to get pounded hard with no lube. Sunday gap up 1000 points on Nasdaq incoming.
[+7] u/Rare-ish_Birb: I feel like, after reading one comment on another sub by a guy who sounded like he knew about military equipment usage, I am compelled to say expertly: 'Warthogs are only used to pick off cigar boats armed with explosives, not invade a country the size of Texas.'
[+7] u/MrNewking: London is closer to Iran then Diego Garcia for perspective.
[+6] u/iStayG00bin: one day i'll make money and the tax lady will be proud of me
[+6] u/Solid-Season9984: #Going all in on WEN I like the stock
[+5] u/No_Stand5622: She is a 10 but she doesn't drive a Toyota.
[+5] u/Aggressive_Bit_91: I wonder what happens when the markets figure out there isn’t a single thing that can be done to stop oil from rocketing higher… there’s no sanctions lifting or spr release that will help this shit show
[+5] u/soad1331: Pretty sure I got a day trade violation and will be out for 90 days which I'm alright with just sorting this out lol
[+5] u/PapiGoneGamer: Fucking coworker of mine came out of the shitter 15 minutes ago and it still fucking stinks. Stinky booty ass people, man.
[+5] u/dangerusZone: Damn I know someone went full regard on spy puts at close..
[+5] u/Xczf: Thats a regular dinner and a nice one at that. True boy dinner would be a full tray of dino nuggies and ketchup.
[+5] u/Etraderbanker: So bad it killed Chuck Norris
[+5] u/jer72981m: We’re getting close to a point of being close to a close to a close to a bottom (close).
[+5] u/DizzyRhubarb_: Democracy is overrated. They elect regards like this guy
[+5] u/Paul_Robert_: Fellas, I might be autistic; everytime I start a new Factorio run, I end up getting side tracked by trains and it turns into train simulator 5000™
[+12] u/yyn1999: Basically the USA Made a giant mess and is Just leaving? Thats like going to someones House and shitting all over it and expect the Home owner to Clean it
[+10] u/ewzetf: reminder it took japan 30 years to regain its top. Dow 50k in 2056
[+9] u/BigLawBurnerSoNoDox: Lost 33K on SMCI. I’m in shambles lmao
[+9] u/AfraidAnalyst: Starting the Great Depression 100 year anniversary a couple years too soon
[+9] u/Yogurt_Up_My_Nose: bro don't even know about my lentil soup
[+8] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: picked the wrong day to stop using lube
[+8] u/FinishWarm1746: i did 0dte again. lost 1k this morning. i need
stop
[+8] u/2Frum4U: we’re only a couple weeks into this and they’re already all like “we did what we thought was best at the time. we tried our best—there was no way of knowing. sowwy”
[+7] u/Country_Gravy420: They fired all the competent people and hired Russian assets like Tulsi Gabwad
[+7] u/Iscratchmybutt: I thought I had $440k in my portfolio but I have to pay $140k in taxes so it’s actually only worth $300k. I’m bummed
[+7] u/MagicJuggler: I want to see what bonds do on Monday. I bought puts after Trump made the Pearl Harbor comments, and I'm glad they did as they printed...enough to offset a fair bit of portfolio damage.
[+7] u/yyn1999: Wtf is this constant Flip floppin. They send more troops there while still saying they May wind down the Operation
[+7] u/Proton404x: #ARE YOU FUCKING TIRED OF WINNING!?!?
###my poor country is falling apart
[+7] u/ewzetf: Do you guys think apartments in dubai are worth anything now
[+7] u/AlmightyCheesusCrust: Basically a shiny turd at this point that place
[+7] u/met_art: > “In essence, we will be using the Iranian barrels against Tehran to keep the price down as we continue Operation Epic Fury,” Bessent said in a statement on Friday evening.
LMFAO 🤣 We are wining so hard that we are going to hurt Iran by letting them sell their oil.
[+6] u/Rainbow_Frenz4vr: it amazes me that people still take anything he says seriously after 10 years. part of his "negotiation tactic" is keeping everyone constantly off balance
[+6] u/OpeDefinitely: I want the marketplace to allow me to decide exactly which states and countries benefit from the purchases I make.
For example, I want to be able to press a button to buy Ohio offsets when I buy a washing machine made in Ohio. Those offsets would then go towards damaging Ohio's economy to the same magnitude that the washing machine purchase benefited Ohio.
Peak capitalism right here folks. Let me vote with my dollars! And let me offset Ohio, God dammit!
[+6] u/RonBlake: Holy shit is Japan about to start trading oil in yuan
[+6] u/FuckleUp: Ber would still complain if DOW hit 1
[+6] u/killainvest: “No bad happen, only can good happen” DJT
[+6] u/Czyzzle: TBH my oil calls need the Strait closed for 6 months or $150 a barrel whichever comes first
[+6] u/Comfortable_Oil6642: SPY calls no brainer
[+5] u/scooterhomeimprover: We may be witnessing the end of the world as we know it.
[+5] u/Me-Regarded: Just remember.... Cuba is next
[+5] u/daisymoth9: hell no. they’re trying their best to hide it tho
[+5] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: Y no green dildo stupid bolz
[+5] u/ThinkingOfTheOldDays: Fleet will hang out in Bahrain and monitor the situation.
[+5] u/McClintockC: This market brought to you by Raid Shadow Legends™
[+5] u/Only-Cranberry-4502: Wawa is still decent 7-8 usd max for a whole hoagie and it’s actually decent too
[+5] u/chuckdacuck: 1.44m volume in the last 5 minutes - loaded up on calls for monday
[+5] u/Academic_Lock_1699: I'm tired of winning boss
[+5] u/Low_Sheepherder7990: Oh thank you, we are safe
[+11] u/bluen: They should bomb the straight of Hormuz to make it wider
[+11] u/katrav86: after today I am changing my pick of model and make. cancelled my lambo dealer appointment.
going for a 2010 Toyota Corolla XLE Shitbox Edition. barely used. gramma took it to the grocery store once a week. rides like new
[+10] u/These-Shoulder8017: In 60,000,000 years human remains will become oil that future humans will fight over.
[+10] u/skymagic: Alright I feel like it’s that time of night to go into my nightly far-right rant
[+9] u/skymagic: Honestly one of the easiest markets to trade, I don’t get what everyone’s talking about 💅
[+8] u/abroadbroadband: I got a Reddit warning for threatening violence when I was just direct quoting the Big D
Puts on RDDT, fair value zero looking ass
[+8] u/EarthquakeCrater: You guys that have been around Reddit WSB a while, you remember all those wild comments we used to get on WSB during the 1970’s oil embargo?
[+8] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: # Jim Cramer says to prepare for further stock declines but be open to opportunities..
We rocket on Monday - that your cue.
[+8] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: A 360 comes back to a full circle.. i.e. no change.
[+7] u/DismalCreme4680: Reddit has become so fucking insufferable, like banned me for no fucking reason, cant even joke around here
[+7] u/NewLifeInAfghanistan: This is a good analogy for the average retail stock market participant tbh
[+7] u/Sharp-Direction-6894: Positions or stfu and gtfo
[+7] u/Kickboy21: MSFT pegged me without buying me dinner first
[+6] u/oldsguy65: Starting to think the Board of Peace isn't very effective.
[+6] u/Perfectly_Splendid89: if 2026 killed chuck Norris, image what it can do to us.
[+6] u/Val44x: Chuck Norris died to correct the timeline. It’s only positive and up from here boys. Thank you, Mr. Norris.
[+6] u/Extension-Change-441: dam I chose the wrong week to stop being a perma bear and just sit on the sidelines. cuck behavior.
[+6] u/dbqlls: We ain't even at a 10% drawdown yet lolol
[+5] u/ArtisticFrame5790: The only stock I hold green today was TTD. Won’t pretend to understand
[+5] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: When you see RSI at 24/25, history shows it will bounce back. It just really oversold.
The only exception was 2008. Even back in 2022 - there was no 3 days in a row of red.
[+5] u/get_da_maney: lol what we met the objectives? And no cease fire? Huh
[+5] u/Crackbot420-69: From down $1700 to up $23 — another successful day trade.
[+5] u/Standard-Top-5942: There are thousands of people viewing this weekend thread that voted for Trump. Probably not the majority, but thousands.
[+18] u/Frequent-Hat-5260: Europoors waking up to check on their €500 portfolios it took them 25 years to build
[+11] u/RJ5R: Hegseth: "Give me another $200 Billion so we can beat the bad guys and re-open the Strait of Morebooze"
[+11] u/WordsHappenedHere: Just buy the dip. This is not the kind of market you want to use options, margin or leverage in. Don’t fuck with 0DT. Simple DCA is how you survive this. You’re a true retard if you try to time this shit unless you’re a White House insider that knows this taco shit in advance. Yes I know that’s boring but this psycho price action could persist for months. You can’t predict it so don’t try.
Wait for VIX to settle and clarity to come before you start hamming back into options.
[+10] u/otimanob: Dont be sad if you had a bad day yesterday. Monday will be worse.
[+10] u/Fabulous_Fee_7000: War is over by Monday, strait is opened, my entire life savings i put into highly regarded speculative calls will fucking print. I only know this because im a psychic
[+10] u/Low_Plastic363: Iran has no goals on 5 shots and US has no goals on 1,744 shots.
[+9] u/Tanpopomon: Taco must be the only prez in US history whose sudden death would cause stocks to go up instead of down.
[+9] u/Get_dat_money: I'm convinced 🥭 only attacked Iran, because Yahoo was really nice and flattering to him, and told him it would be a great idea.
🥭 Always listens to the last person that was nice to him.
[+9] u/music_is_gud: Bombing Iran to Begging countries to buy Iranian oil - it has been one hell of 3 weeks!
[+8] u/throwingitanyway: if we really wanted to hurt iran, we'd take the country over and give them all american healthcare
[+8] u/Maleficent-Couple-76: Wait till the weekly crude storage draw report hits
[+8] u/slimjimreddit: The US/Israel stopping attacks won’t make crude drop quickly if they’re telling the world the won’t secure the straight. There might be a small dip when it happens, but crude is fucked for months. Good luck timing that play.
[+8] u/imtypingoninternet: Barron got his dads face but the height from the daddy of his prostitute mother. Unlucky.
[+7] u/New_Sport_8490: Can I get a score update on USA vs Iran?
[+7] u/JohanLiebert92: I wonder if the Board of Peace and the Department of War try to negotiate
[+7] u/draeneirestoshaman: you orange monkey fuck
[+7] u/film_composer: Just a reminder: OJ Simpson was acquitted of all charges, so Nicole Brown's murderer is still at large.
[+7] u/Historical_Bother274: How desperate are bols getting that they all start celebrating after a small AH 0.5% pump. Spoiler the damage to the world economy is done but keep begging for a new tweet that will save your portfolio
[+7] u/pmotiveforce: I'm guessing you blathered the same nonsense last week and every night this week.
[+6] u/ChampagnePapi-: some men die of thirst while others drown
[+6] u/AnonTruthTeller: straight of Hormuz is making everyone gay fr
[+5] u/AGeneralRelativity: For those who didn’t pay attention, the ponzi even filled the gap created in September of last year. These criminals are crazy at manipulating this. 646 lmao
[+5] u/Eclectic_Beer_Tap: This market seems very confused.
[+5] u/helicopter_pocket: Why wouldn’t you guys just sell at the top? Stupid.
[+5] u/Beagle001: Do people think that lifting sanctions on Iranian oil solves the supply problem? Or is it that maybe it’s dude showing he’s ready to high tail it out of there? Because just lifting those sanctions doesn’t really help more than a tiny bit.
[+22] u/Moepenmoes: Good morning fellow Europeans, this chat always becomes high quality whenever the Americans are asleep
[+20] u/dbd209: I lost my only sibling, my sister, when I was 19. Even then though, I never truly appreciated life, good health, and how short life is. Now I am 31, and in the past 6 weeks I learned that two of my cousins have cancer. I don't know why it took me this long to realize how truly short life is and how quickly the years go by, and how lucky we are to wake up healthy. This life will be over in a blink of an eye, it's time to stop living in fear and go for it.
[+19] u/AusConsoleGamesLFG: War is so terrible, reading comments of people acting like brown people aren't actual humans is insane, the amount of civilian devastation is horrific
Please try to think of what it would be like if it were happening to you and your family, and always and only ever call for peace
The worst part about these wars is watching deliberate targeting of civilian residences that pose no threat at all...double taps, etc, it is psychotic
[+16] u/Nightkill02: If youre not having fun yet, just wait until the Iranians ask the houthis to start fucking with oil in the red sea.
[+14] u/llasar17: its gonna become a spirit halloween store
[+13] u/FinanialGambler777: Have a disaster weekend everyone, see you on the battlefield
[+12] u/drigocien12: Fries in the bag after this week
[+12] u/Moepenmoes: Imagine being sent as a ground soldier to Iran, but this time you have to face drone swarm guerilla warfare instead of Vietnam's jungle guerilla warfare
[+11] u/NlNJANEER: it's crickets in here. Is everyone pulling double shift after getting their hormussy stretched this week or what?
[+11] u/BullTrucker9: That orange piece of shit cost me $4,500
[+9] u/Peppertheredfox: Hi we’re the board of peace and this is jackass
[+9] u/Emergency-Ticket5859: Chuck Norris is dead
SPY about to crater
[+9] u/Emergency-Ticket5859: Remember when Trump said America First and no more forever wars in the Middle East
yea
[+9] u/Horcsogg: If the US gets out of there now Iran is gonna make the nearby rich oil countries to their little bitch and charge 1 mil for each ship passing through the homos as a sort of mango style tariffs.
They would do that for years.
[+8] u/According_To_Me_: Gonna play MW2 to do my part vs Iran
[+8] u/lifo888: So even if the strait opens soon what about the destroyed oil & gas fields?
[+8] u/OkAlternative7705: \-93% all time right now. All i need to do is time the end of this war to make my money back.
[+7] u/lookingforajob2020: I bought a shitload of 3/25 SPY 650c at 3:30pm and forgot to sell before market close.
Please can the market pump 3% on Monday thank you
[+6] u/3boobsarenice: Smci sub is a wasteland
[+6] u/Ok_Complaint_3589: More bitch slapping MONDAY
[+5] u/East-Description-243: I just had the craziest conversation with Gemini. It told me that the reality is in the end AI leads to the elite running the world and a small group of slaves are kept in line with universal basic income. The income actually has no value as it will only be returned to the elite for access to basic needs but will be cut off in times of revolt.
It said the solution could be open sourcing ai but when I asked why the elite would hand over the keys to the castle after doing all the work it said😬.
[+5] u/bigdaddyrongregs: At least it could all still get way, way worse
[+19] u/Fun_Purpose6972: Day 21 of Operation Epstein Fury
\- Russian oil unsanctioned
\- Iranian oil unsanctioned too, after 30 years
\- Ships paying Iran $2M for Hormuz passage
\- $1T gone from stock market yesterday
\- American bases still under constant attack
\- Replaced Khamenei with Khamenei
[+17] u/Logical-Charity-6176: When I was a kid it always seemed wild to me that historically there would be nations ruled over by kings that were teenagers or even younger. But as an old man it makes far more sense.
A child, despite naivety, is making decisions on the basis that they're going to live a long life. The current leadership of the planet, octogenarians all, are making decisions based on the fact that fuck all matters because they'll be dead soon anyway.
[+15] u/Mobile_Collection646: Katz spoke on Saturday, hours after U.S. President Donald Trump said he was considering “winding down” military operations in the Mideast.
“This week, the intensity of the attacks that the IDF and the U.S. military will carry out against the Iranian terrorist regime and against the infrastructures on which it relies will increase significantly,” Katz said in a video statement.
LMAO 🥭 needs to get in line with his overlords
[+13] u/makhnosfork: It’s interesting to see how quickly things go to shit while simultaneously being surprised it took this long.
[+13] u/ratfukabich: > Top US Fema official claims to have teleported to a Waffle House before
Bro get me off this fucking ride
[+12] u/shakazuluwithanoodle: we need more thoughts and prayers to unblock the hormuz
[+11] u/Fit-Marionberry5248: Transferred all my money to ”legacy/prestige” wealth management firms EM & Europe boomer funds
Time to stop gambling, has cost me so much i dont even want to know
Thanks Controlthenarrative, Google Spread guy, Donut DD guy, and the man who went from 1k -> 1m -> 1k with MSTR options - as i leave the sub
[+11] u/Striking_Box_6116: But he was “considering winding down.” Guys he’s considering it 😭😭😭
[+10] u/Consistent_Chart_664: I dunno if anyone has ever fucked with the stock market as much as DonOLD. He’s really putting us through a fuckin bender ain’t he
[+9] u/hv876: 🥭 is like the friendly neighbor who comes uninvited, tells you he’ll fix your leaky faucet, fucks shit up, and now tells you, fix it if you want, because you don’t have a leaky faucet anymore. Meanwhile, your whole house is flooded.
[+9] u/Revolutionary-Owl766: How come I gotta vote on brain dead shit like does the fire department get more money but important shit like ww3 I got no say
[+8] u/spookc46: Just got my reddit 400 Day Streak achievement award. How retarded is that?
[+8] u/baIIern: My only satisfaction is that Silver bros are finally silent and got humbled.
[+8] u/kayvonte: I guess next week we continue sell off
[+7] u/HappyDepartment5899: Iran gets to say when the war is over. They won't let go off the Strait unless they get their reparations
[+7] u/Hot-Pop-3250: 60/40 not doing so hot
[+6] u/Fun_Purpose6972: Watch what he is doing, not what he is saying. He is saying that he is looking to "wind down" the war, meanwhile he is sending thousands of more soldiers and equipment to the region. Bulls are gonna get BTFO. This is not ending anytime soon
[+6] u/Bravadette: When did bicycles become so fucking expensive
[+6] u/Just_Learned_This: I'm up 7% ytd cause of puts and you can be too!
[+6] u/phagebiscotti: Some great skiing in the Northeast this weekend. Yesterday at Whiteface was incredible. Happy Spring everyone
[+6] u/JCJENSON_Pr_Dept_6: Nobody likes AI anymore. It's not good economic practice to have the entire economy on a speculative market with no large scale profitability.
[+6] u/Ok-End-3213: So happy I sold smci after that 10k debacle last year lol
[+5] u/YourCautionaryTale: A lot of people here sincerely believe that line just goes up. They have no idea what's around the corner.
[+17] u/DanqueLeChay: Bro literally thought he could ding dong ditch a war 😆
[+14] u/Mother___Night: Apparently Iran is demanding Kegsbreath walk across the field, stick his head between his legs, and kiss his own arse — before they will consider opening the straight.
[+14] u/oliver2022: 🥭 thinks big yahu is gonna let him end the war 😭😭😭🙏🙏🙏
[+12] u/MarginCuck: The year is 2056, MSFT is still trading between 380-400
[+11] u/jfwelll: Ai almost made me miss out on an extra 1.5k in credits on my taxes when i asked it about the eligibility conditions saying I didnt meet the requirements.
I doubled and tripled checked and when I provided him the official answers he did his usual "youre absolutely right and you did good by searching for it. Here is why it works: blablabla ai slop"
Im shorting this shit
[+10] u/Blyadhole: If you can’t meet your mortgage, student loans or margin call payment obligation. Just declare Force Majeure. Iraq did that successfully.
[+10] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: LIFE HACK: Just tell the creditor that due to the current situation in middle east you declare force majeure on payments until the situation is resolved.
[+9] u/-TrueFacts-: Chuck Norris isn't dead, he's just in a VERY deep state of karate meditation
[+8] u/frakenspine: world is 2 weeks behind in oil, with 2 more months to go if hostilities ended this morning.
brain ded bols: sniff, got any more of those calls?
[+7] u/cryptopolymath: Greenland is back on the menu lads, can’t even enjoy the weekends anymore.
[+7] u/verifitting: Did dude have a crystal ball or what
[+7] u/Sean_VasDeferens: This morning's CNBC headline "Jim Cramer says to prepare for further stock declines".
[+7] u/el-art-seam: Iran is now reportedly allowing Japanese tankers to go through.
[+7] u/moorhound: "Wars almost done because we destroyed Irans missile launch capabilities"
vs.
>AP News: Israel threatens a surge in attacks as Iran fires missiles farther than ever
[+7] u/necarpenter417: Morning constitutional and browsing WSB for the real news. I love Saturdays
[+7] u/Remarkable-Action708: He will stop the war, he won’t stop the war, he will stop the war, he won’t stop the war..I need to feel it in my bones? But those bones are really getting ancient
[+6] u/buttaviaper: they waived sanctions on oil that doesn’t even exist, lmao, mango is really desperate
[+6] u/M4roon: Fun fact. Humanity's extinction in Dune revolves around the emergence of AI with hovering killer drones, and the jihadi fremen religion is fabricated by the imperial elite before they lose control of it.
Do with that information what you will. 🤔🤔
[+6] u/Different_Being368: Bruh, they banned me from this right wing financial forum for saying that gorilloners are the problem and not regular folks just trying to survive. The amount of cope people are having that they will be in 1% is dangerously high.
[+6] u/spellbadgrammargood: Remember like a week and a half ago, people were pumped that Trump said the war was over
[+5] u/-TrueFacts-: Chuck Norris now enters true folklore.... my grandpappy once saw him downtown (or uptown if you prefer) - the man was 8 foot tall with steel blue eyes that could see though eternity and the multiverse
[+16] u/SkoomaJunki3: This bankman fried expose is hilarious. His mom blaming Biden for her son’s fraud. LMFAO.
[+16] u/ManyHead6662: What if.. war ends and market still falls
[+15] u/Loose_Development_24: Dumbest administration ever
[+14] u/dunk4899: So let me get this straight: we started a war to weaken Iran, then when oil prices got too high because shipping oil through the straight of Hormuz was disrupted because of said war, in order to bring down oil prices, we granted oil sanctions relief to…. Iran?
[+14] u/Embarrassed_Try1055: Israel should fuck off for a while so iran opens the straits, I take 100 thousands in profits and go back at it after. My economy is more important than whatever the fuck you fighting for.
[+13] u/Micheal_Hancho: Iran said if we attack Karg island we get a surprise 🎁
They can't just say that and not expect us to want to see what it is
[+12] u/f08g: orange REALLY got humiliated in iran…
[+12] u/guy_cloutier: Bull case:
He will just say "mission accomplished" and leave. He's really gonna do that.
Iran will just install a protection racket and declare victory. Nobody will fuck with them in the near future.
Bear case:
He will just say "mission accomplished" and leave.
Iran apply max pain with oil to drag the US back in the conflict.
Swing traders:
Cum in their pants
[+12] u/Dawnchaffinch: So glad the weekends here to erase my memory of how bad I am at this
[+10] u/Relevant_Season4218: Guarantee orange 🍊 man tweets or comments on SMCI that it was just a couple of bad people in the company and not the company it's self. SMCI to be new APE/MEME/ISM Just remember Nancy P. and NVDA
[+10] u/Waste-Milk2716: If oil went to $300 tomorrow, Fed would still wait to see the impact (inflation vs demand destruction
[+10] u/gainsusmaximus: Freak the f out and sell everything, today right now, it's over
[+10] u/Embarrassed_Try1055: Most of people are not going to afford food, but here is why it’s good for economy - some shitty media
[+9] u/FullCopy: When you go full retard, you won’t find an off-ramp. GPS just says ‘recalculating’… forever.
- Kirk Lazarus, political strategist
[+9] u/giraffe_wrassler: I live 30 minutes from Kennedy space center, just saw a dude wearing a Rocket labs shirt and it got me a little hard ngl
[+9] u/zephyrs85: How do I invest in the manosphere, their target audience is so dumb that I'd like to exploit this for financial gain and security
[+9] u/Thoughtful_Tortoise: Is the special military operation over yet?
[+9] u/AdditionalActuator81: I think 🥭 meant to say the stock market is winding down.
[+8] u/---Right--Tackle---: What’s a good business to buy, I’m tired of losing money in the casino
[+7] u/Forsaken-Bid8757: Michael Burry called it, again!
[+7] u/jsie-iaiqhsi816278: i should learn mandarin
[+7] u/fenriswulfwsb: Not to brag but I unlocked the 600 day streak this week... Worship me peasants!
[+6] u/DrSeuss1020: I can’t remember the last time I saw this many top comments “removed by moderator” and I really wish I knew what they all were
[+16] u/Razvanell95: Who imagined Norway starting ww3, all because they didn't give grandpa a stupid coin & a diploma.
[+15] u/Known-Presentation49: Tariffs are imaginary, war is not.
[+14] u/Shot-Welcome-2822: 3-4 tankers are passing per day currently (India and Gyna) down from 130 per day. Do the supply math and you’ll figure out why it’s not coming down anytime soon. Consumption at 100 million barrels per day. The strategic reserves and sanction relief on tankers at sea is a drop in the bucket.
[+13] u/Smooth_Ferret8081: Hawaii residents need to evacuate again? The Rock and Oprah Winfrey are about to come out and ask for your financial support again
[+12] u/BaronOfIce: You know what? Fuck the Boomers. Every single one. Hoarding every penny the can get, refusing to give up power, and simultaneously fucking everything up their parents left for the world. Worst generation ever
[+11] u/handsome_uruk: Crazy to think that we would have world peace and infinite green days if only a bunch of dinos didn’t gather for one last orgy in the Middle East right before the asteroid hit.
[+10] u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister: I blame you guys for making weekends the most boring part of the week
[+9] u/dbgtboi: Bullish on smci because being a criminal will almost certainly guarantee the ceo a position in 🥭s admin
[+9] u/Retaining-Wall: Chuck Norris actually died three years ago, but Death needed time to work up the courage to inform Norris.
[+9] u/ozz3121: I run 340 miles a day (1 mile a minute) on 15 minutes of sleep (meth), and I am building a brand new super disruptive technology that will literally materialize dollars (it's a new gambling app), buy my course on how to be an ultra male and you too can become a trillionaire tomorrow (Zimbabwe dollars).
[+9] u/DangerousPass633: Israel literally just got hit by another ballistic missile and mfers think this is gonna end soon
[+9] u/Sweaty-Sherbet-6926: My portfolio just died. Good, I’m glad its dead. It can no longer hurt innocent people!
[+9] u/SignificanceLate7002: I wonder how many times 🥭 suggested nuking Iran in the last week.
[+8] u/Jumpinmycar: There’s an old Venezuelan saying that could really help us all put this into context:
“Things are never so bad that they can’t get worse.”
[+8] u/Cherry_Springer_: Was on a flight from Dublin to the US this week and that bitch was so empty there were entire 4 seat middle rows with just one person laying across the seats LMFAO
[+8] u/OptionGamble: Nobody knows what is going to happen Monday and it’s hilarious
[+7] u/ThermalChaser: Does my port have a right to exist or nah?
[+7] u/fritz_futtermann: crying in the casino
[+7] u/natures3: One edge we have when we invest is that we can talk to/ empathize with normal people who are the users of the stocks we invest in. The people who move weights just look at slides or get sold to by the people on top. Eventually, the real user experiences catch up.
Use this as your edge in investing.
[+6] u/perceptive_AI: I see so many people go to the gym everyday for years but they look the same. I guess they aren’t progressively overloading and eating correctly.
[+6] u/Unhappy_Hedgehog_808: If you unironically use the term “panican”, you are a loser beyond help.
[+5] u/Shot-Welcome-2822: I think we see a double down instead