▶ Full Post Text
[+48] u/soad1331: 2 hours until we can all look at fake futes for hours. We deserve everything we get.
[+34] u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister: The casino is going to be CRAZY tomorrow
[+30] u/Sweg_OG: **fuck private equity veterinarians.** Prices for care have more than doubled in the past few years. Idk how these lizardpeople sleep at night gouging the shit out of people just to keep their pets from suffering, and the same goes for UHC and American healthcare. I am putting down my cat today and from her checkup to her cremation those greedy bastards have the gall to charge me over 5 grand. Fuck everything about this world, I hate it here. I would pay it all over again and im grateful I sold some at the top in December to cover this bullshit, but I don't know how I'll ever be ok losing the last and only good thing I had in my life. No crying in the casino so I will see myself out, sorry
[+25] u/SuperNewk: Tomorrow I start my 1 million to 1k challenge. Wish me luck!
[+24] u/Moepenmoes: You've just ordered fries and a coke at Wendy's. You've loaded up WSB and are ready to discuss the futes in 2 hours while playing your favorite game. No school tomorrow. Your parents don't care if you stay up all night long. A perfect sunday evening. You are 45 years old.
[+21] u/Mighty-HeaIthy: # **Feels like a big dump is coming**
Had lunch at a sketchy Indian food truck parked at the gas station.
[+20] u/NeuroLeak: Pretty bearish in here, guess its green tomorrow.
[+20] u/Eur0stept: 90% of traders lose. 90% of people here are bearish. Do you see what happens next?
[+19] u/JJ_lifestyle: Sounds like we don't have any idea whether S&P futures will open green or red later
[+19] u/ConsiderationKey1658: #Tomorrow- 🥭 “🍑💨💨” 📈📉📉📉
[+19] u/fish_: i’m gonna make $20k this week idc what you guys say 😤
[+17] u/Emotional-Bag1398: Tomorrow I start my $2k to $1m challenge for like the 10th time it's gotta work this time right?
[+17] u/iknowdemfeelsbro326: Fuckn shaking. Saved an old ladies life at my job
[+15] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #open the straight of homos now!~
[+14] u/EducationalCicada: Thinking of a teardrop tattoo, to represent the day I learned about leverage.
[+14] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: BREAKING: Taiwan has reported a large scale presence of “ Chinese military aircraft ”near the island.
Taiwan's military has spotted:
26 Chinese warplanes operating nearby
16 warplanes crossing into air defense zone
7 navy ships near the island.
As well as thousands of Chinese fishing boats reportedly massing near Taiwan in the East China Sea.
(drilled blockades with these state run vessels repeatedly)
**XI knows it's now or never.**
[+14] u/Recent-Animator6941: US stock market doesnt work on logic & fundamental. It's all based on vibes. You dont have to trrust me, deep down you know it !!
Calls on everything !!!
[+13] u/Beagle001: Surfed all morning. I assume everything in the world is worse since last night.
[+13] u/x2eliah: Oil is just gloopy metals.
[+12] u/StocksStormTrooper: 🥭 is now contemplating hitting Iran’s oil facilities …. If that happens… look out Oil is gonna be like $150 a barrel.
[+12] u/Moonwalker56: We going green tomorrow
[+12] u/Paul_Robert_: It is with great regret I announce, that I was commenting in the old thread 😞
[+11] u/financiallythriving: Imagine being deep in the red all time from trading options but continue to trade options thinking you will come back
[+11] u/BrokeDickRizz: Kinda feel like US is being a bit of a bitch since we can’t even secure a fucking shipping lane.
[+11] u/astromouse2024: ‘Moves for tomorrow’ is getting increasingly more difficult to decide
[+11] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: God this place is so much better with the Americans sleeping.
[+11] u/Vegetable_Push6542: Israel will fight to the last American
[+10] u/Djent_Reznor1: Why is it called the Strait of Hormuz when we're all so very gay
[+10] u/soad1331: Can't we all agree a little mini recession would probably be healthy in the long run??
[+10] u/cryptohorn: Tomorrow is the 6 year anniversary of the 2020 crash when spy crashed liked 10%. Can't believe it's gonna happen again 6 years later.
[+10] u/Independent_Term5790: What if all these Chinese fishermen in the Taiwan strait are just trying to fish?
[+10] u/CardiologistEqual336: Nothing like a bowl of ice water for dinner
[+10] u/AgitatedJump8459: Holyshit china actually invading Taiwan!!
[+10] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Too bearish in here. Green at open
[+10] u/2020isgreat: "Too bearish in here green at open" worked really well these past weeks huh
[+9] u/bikkhu42: They tried to make me go to rehab
I said no no no
[+9] u/Mtarfa101: Donald singlehandedly increasing the US employment rate by making everyone here have to get jobs again
[+9] u/Moepenmoes: Lmao imagine still posting in the old thread
[+9] u/AgitatedJump8459: Oil breaking out is like a little black dragon hatching
[+9] u/looool_k_libtard: You should have 3 kids by the time you’re 21 with a minimum of $1,000,000 invested.
[+9] u/rcantu314: All the bad is already priced in, calls
[+9] u/WallofNarwhal: Ugh, I think I am just a stupid little bitch boy :(
[+9] u/Internal_Field5970: I have been pooping hella hard
[+9] u/pinkerton_gov: Why would it bounce? The market has barely fallen. I don’t care and not talking about your high beta names.
[+8] u/smart_doge: If I order oil from Temu, will it get delivered?
[+8] u/Madsen13140: 50 % leveraged to the tits, 50% cash , 100 % autistic.
[+8] u/orsomeshitidk: Being a billionaire is a mental illness and deep down even the simps know it
[+8] u/WordsHappenedHere: 🥭is a pathological liar. He lies daily. If he was Pinocchio his nose would have grown to 9 or 10 inches by now.
But do you know why it hasn’t grown to 12 inches yet? Why can’t his nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
[+8] u/Weak_Emu3659: Stop crying. Bunch of crybabies.
[+8] u/NotMe357: "Iran warns residents in parts of Dubai and Doha to leave - Fars"
[+8] u/2020isgreat: China isn't gonna invade taiwan you fucking idiots
[+8] u/tugrulthelol: man I really hope this Iran conflict just ends in like a month or two or something, here in Turkey conscription is mandatory, I'm graduating from university this summer and I don't wanna be drafted while we have an escalating war going on in the region gng 🙏 I still got many years of gambling to do
[+7] u/Affectionate-Safe295: Biggest green dildo tomorrow watch
[+7] u/Slightlybadpicks: Holy shit! Look at the futes!!! 😳😳
[+7] u/tomis_24: FOMC, Quad-witching, Iran War, SAVE Act (if somehow the Senate pass the SAVE Act, the political power will shift immediately)! Next week will be fun.
[+7] u/ChewbaccaIsBear: It´s so funny when people seriously discuss the economy and stonks AS IF IT WERENT ALL FAKE
[+7] u/31andnotdone: new thread, same smell
[+7] u/jfwelll: Tomorrow, im going to be depressed at my boring 9 to 5, as usual
[+7] u/AfraidAnalyst: Does mango realize the US doesn’t have to put the chips all in every hand? Like, there’s levels to this shit and we literally don’t have to play 7-2 offsuit because he’s going to fold at the river anyway?
[+7] u/jroache: USO CALLS BUY ATM AT OPEN SELL BY 1pm
[+7] u/Vegetable_Push6542: Futes open -2%, all the sorry ass bulls in here load up calls thinking we pump to green a 3rd time in a row, and then this time we dump to -4%.
[+7] u/According-Page8618: the most illogical thing would be start +1%. then red on open, into +1.5% eod.
so i guess that is waht will happen
[+7] u/OrdinaryMix4013: uneducated south states be like "where is the middle east or the straight of homus?" LMAOOOOOO
[+7] u/Careful_Response4694: If you think China is going to invade Taiwan during their largest oil shock ever, record unemployment, and their weapons/cyber systems actively failing in Iran, I have some premium condos in rural China to sell you.
[+7] u/twostroke1: US invades Iran, China invades Taiwan, Germany invades Poland.
Just pass the dice or place your fuckin bet holy shit.
[+7] u/Kind-Recognition4528: Still deciding who I’m gonna jack it off for tonight.
[+7] u/tugrulthelol: MU earnings this week is gonna make it or break it
[+6] u/LasyKuuga: Green day?
Red day?
It doesn’t matter. I’m gonna lose money today
[+6] u/EpiphyticOrchid8927: Bitcoin is green so tomorrow will be green
[+6] u/Ok_Information_4137: China is about to invade taiwan
[+6] u/fuckyeahmageknight: Beware the ideas idea of March
[+6] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: It all depends where oil opens up. The story is oil not the fed chair or whatever he has to say. The higher oil goes the bigger crash will be on the market
[+6] u/FloppyTacoflaps: $Rope $bucket full port
[+6] u/2020isgreat: Nothing will stop oil from opening triple digits
[+6] u/Ok_Rent5670: My RDDT has already had its 50% crash this yr. Fucking gap up!
[+6] u/Marshmallowmind2: Corn is still holding well
[+6] u/MusingsAndMind: check out Bumble's stock lmao
[+6] u/ILikeCorgiButt: I’ve got shit ton of of spy calls. Am I cookd chat?
[+6] u/Recent-Animator6941: 1) 90% of traders end up losing money
2) 90% of the comments in RRDT says market gonna be red
3) Beat the system by buying calls
4) Profit
[+6] u/SouthNice7324: According to the technical analysis I saw on YouTube, Monday looks like it could go up, down, or stay flat. You are welcome.
[+6] u/Zeppu: I hope they don't take too long to drop the nuclear bomb, I'm holding in a fart for that exact moment. No one will notice.
[+6] u/looool_k_libtard: My monthly car payment is $1300 for a 2015 Hyundai Elantra at 31% interest
[+6] u/danyallah_: Oil? Watchu talkin bout oil? Bitch you cookin?
[+6] u/PositiveToe2761: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+5] u/Spezalt4: ~~Bear Sterns is fine~~
[+5] u/BrokeDickRizz: Tomorrow I’m moving into a cardboard box. What are your moves?
[+5] u/existing-entity: Held puts over the weekend we’ll see
[+5] u/mrgr33n420: Nvidia gonna pump so will the nasdaq. Calls on SOXL, gonna rip.
[+5] u/AgitatedJump8459: Oil to 110 on opening
[+5] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: Jobs number is going to be so ass for march. The jobs market is on straight life support right now
[+5] u/craig_k20: new thread same 🏳️🌈bears
[+5] u/Slightlybadpicks: Some motherfucking asshole left the shopping cart outside my apartment 🤬🤬🤬🤬
[+5] u/mangofruitdude: My turtle is saying red tomorrow
[+5] u/Appropriate_Sky_4509: The good thing about blowing up your port is that you get to watch the chaos from the sidelines
Follow for more trading tips
[+5] u/Three_of_a_kind3515: Am sleeping in.. futures are gonna be flat.. the next two days are gonna be flat until the end of Tuesday.. 🥭 might lose some seats..
[+5] u/Boring-Nectarine-311: i so hate wannabe FX daytraders on instagram. Just fucking buy options like a normal degenerate and stop pretending you know shit
[+5] u/severed02: Might pregame futes. Nerves are off the charts.
[+5] u/Marshmallowmind2: Do Americans even use the word posh like the Brits do?
[+5] u/hallett21: So either Iran hit the carriers or they are pulling back for the Big Bang. Bullish.
[+5] u/financiallythriving: Imagine not loving your wife
[+5] u/Thesaint7811: Pump Monday for a bit, then hang out for a day or two and big dump at the end of the week
[+5] u/Moepenmoes: "Money can't buy happiness" alright make me happy while being poor then
[+5] u/mysuruhuduga: Physical therapist > chiropractor
[+5] u/grimandnordic1: Can't wait to close all my positions tomorrow for 80% loss
[+5] u/Certifieddddd: Operation Epstein fury is going well. I haven’t seen anyone talking about the Epstein files in 2 weeks
[+5] u/KittyLover-7: Why am I seeing Taiwan being mentioned more than usual
[+5] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #IRAN HAS YELLOW CAKE WEAPONS GRADE NUKES- TACO
[+39] u/ConstantSpace5809: Trump trying to pump futures so Treasury can unwind their moronic oil short 😂😂😂
[+39] u/AegonTheMeh: > The Trump administration as soon as this week plans to announce that multiple countries have agreed to form a coalition that will escort ships through this corridor, which runs along the Iranian coast, U.S. officials said. **They are still discussing, however, whether those operations would begin before or after hostilities end.**
https://www.wsj.com/livecoverage/us-israel-iran-war-news-2026/card/exclusive-trump-administration-plans-to-announce-coalition-to-escort-ships-through-strait-of-hormuz-YBtXVBjxeLjL6yAqEWJV
What
[+37] u/Ble_h: Taco said he will end the war when he "feels it in his bones". Retard started a war on vibes and is fighting a war on vibes. We are fucked.
[+36] u/MrNewking: **Start war**
* Give 5 different reasons for war
* 80% disapproval
* Immediately blow up little girls school surrendering all moral high ground
* Kill leadership which is immediately replaced by more radical leadership
* Declare victory
* Have no contingency plan for closing the straits of Hormuz
* Have no clear victory conditions
* Gas prices skyrocket
* Economy craters
* Service members killed, taxes wasted, bases blown up, no material gain for the American public
* Continue declaring victory
Art of the deal
[+35] u/darkspherei: remember the war with greenland
[+33] u/cannythecat: Why would other countries die for 🥭when their reward will be to get tariffed and shit talked.
[+32] u/No_Routine_17: Had to put my dog down today and it fucking blows. My first childhood dog was put down in 2022 and now my boy Cooper is joining her. Coop was fine 48 hours ago.
Why does life have to be so cruel.
[+30] u/Moped_Thief: I’m here asking for my money back but they won’t let me in.
https://preview.redd.it/awliktiys9pg1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c6e12a886ed9164824dd0edec8a9e3743927f90b
[+28] u/ThermalChaser: She's a 10 but she won't open the strait
[+27] u/FartPolluter: BREAKING: Trump announces unworkable solution to Gulf of Hormuz hours before futes open to stop inevitable fute dump. Trump source confirms "definitely not a cope play"
[+26] u/Shoganai_Hito: https://preview.redd.it/uq98plixlapg1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f52a6dc758fdc7954fda707cbdbf94ad277caee5
[+25] u/aftherith: I sure hope you all are monitoring the situation because I am cooking ribs, setting things on fire and drinking beers.
[+25] u/solidsneeze: RELEASE THE HORMUZ FILES
[+23] u/Ok-Application5904: My uncle works at oil. He said they gave everybody the whole week off
[+23] u/Locke_____Lamora: treasury shorting is so fucking cringe LMAO
[+22] u/Successful-End7689: Whoever really believes this escorting tankers bullshit you truly are an idiot 😂
[+20] u/ConstantSpace5809: Oil opening candle was fucked. Someone tried to dump hard and it ALL got bought up
[+20] u/jonneh: **4:50 PM EST**
>
> **WSJ**
>
> The 🥭 administration as soon as this week plans to announce that multiple countries have agreed to form a coalition that will escort ships through the Strait of Hormuz, which runs along the Iranian coast, U.S. officials said. They are still discussing, however, whether those operations would begin before or after hostilities end.
#
Why am I not surprised that they come out with this before futures open? Smh
[+20] u/AllCapNoBrake: https://preview.redd.it/1y4zh1g3bapg1.png?width=395&format=png&auto=webp&s=7c664d4029d548a2be5e5a785ffad4c62ee3c444
[+20] u/jonneh: **WSJ**
>
> American oil executives delivered a bleak message to 🥭 officials in recent days: The energy crisis the Iran war has unleashed is likely to get worse.
[+19] u/No_Cod972: Just watched a tutorial on how to trade futures. I'm ready
[+19] u/cashflow_: Brb gonna go check myself out in the mirror shirtless and suck in my stomach
[+19] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: I shaved my p*ssy for this?
[+18] u/Confident-Window4928: Unless Iran backs down, 🥭 is in checkmate. Escalate the war and increase American death count significantly or back out of this against a 3rd world country and look weak (his ego won’t let him). Oh and if china invades Taiwan we look doubly weak or open up a two front war and watch American 18 yo boys being blown to bits by drones on liveleak.
[+18] u/ConstantAd1: 3 weeks of war only to end up with a Khamenei back in power and oil at $100
[+17] u/Salty-Bid1597: Claiming Iran wants a deal but it's not good enough is step 1 of the taco.
Step 2 is him pretending he got them to promise not to build nuclear weapons by buying all their oil and step 3 is getting the hell out of there, abandoning all your allies and pretending it never happened.
[+17] u/ConstantSpace5809: Wow, Treasury is really bad at this. They must be one of us
[+17] u/jonneh: **7:09 PM EST**
>
> **FT**
>
> 🥭 warns NATO faces ‘very bad future’ if allies fail to help US on Iran
#
I thought we won in the first hour 😭😭
#
What a fucking embarrassment
[+17] u/Cold_Specialist_3656: It's November 2026. Oil is $270 a barrel. 🥭 annouces a 5th round of stimulus checks, only given to true patriots that sign up for draft (the first 4 rounds will be distributed in 2 weeks).
Bessent accounces negative interest rates and corporate tax (taxes collected are distributed directly to family and megadonors). Stonks rally past all time highs.
[+17] u/No_Current3675: Brent Crude gonna be my pornstar name
[+17] u/Outof_ITM: Technically, Hellen Keller is immune to flashbang grenades ☝️🤓
[+16] u/ConstantSpace5809: Lmao at Iran for waiting for the futures to open before bombing Bahrain today
[+16] u/Joey-Cap: BREAKING
Taiwan invading Greenland
[+16] u/aftherith: I have personally been observing each one of you closely for quite some time. I regret to inform you that you are all quite dumb.
[+16] u/DingleJingle_: So there are videos of a fire, a confirmation by the government of the UAE and flights are turning around and not landing. But mango got these markets actually believing all this shit is just AI and there is nothing to see here. Crazy fucking times brothers. Buy your calls I guess.
[+16] u/WarmCan3034: REMINDER u/cashflow_ HAS HIS LOBOTOMY SCHEDULED THIS WEEK <3. PLEASE WISH HIM GOOD LUCK!
[+16] u/Difficult-Ask2278: I was actually really worried about the strait of Hormuz until former Fox News anchor Pete Hegseth said not to worry about it and now i don’t give a rat’s ass
[+16] u/Head_Welcome_4933: Just dump it 10% already so we can slow grind back up to ATHs. This is the most annoying slow motion downfall of the entire market
[+16] u/SnooRegrets6428: Trump announcing draft tomorrow
[+16] u/NotRobotNFL: That’ll work smoothly with no resistance whatsoever
[+16] u/WarmCan3034: be born with rich parents
[+15] u/waylon106: Imagine shorting oil in a oil crisis
[+15] u/cannythecat: Everyone who said we would open up +3 percent should be banned.
[+15] u/yyn1999: Would be so fucking funny If the us government gets short squeezed
[+15] u/Ill-Expression1737: trump must be shorting oil lol
[+15] u/CarcossaYellowKing: I genuinely don’t understand what’s holding the DOW up considering Trump said the US needs help opening the strait and the world said you did that shit dumbass lol.
[+15] u/IceInMyVain: How stupid can you be to go against the market when you have access to live data tracking oil tankers via GPS showing that no ships are crossing?
[+15] u/wyudtix: Everyone thinks the stock market will be red tomorrow, therefore it’s gonna be green
[+15] u/Clear-West747: I am monitoring the situation
[+14] u/TechnologyEven6926: It used to be a free market
Now every single price action is manipulated to the T
[+14] u/spaurake: US treasury entering oil trade is literally the most insane thing I’ve heard in the history of world markets. And we’ve had pretty crazy stuff happening in the past century. We’re in a timeline like no other!
[+14] u/retard_trader: Ngl the oil move is kinda underwhelming. Pump for ants.
[+14] u/MrNewking: https://preview.redd.it/hv6w19gdfapg1.png?width=920&format=png&auto=webp&s=02d173be505519141a9a8978ad4f6e46d566685a
Bers in shambles
[+14] u/No_Cod972: The copium is strong on here on both sides
(ber are fuk)
[+14] u/TechnologyEven6926: Bruh
🥭asking for NATO’s help
LMFAO
[+14] u/AdCritical5383: I have one question: why did sleepy make us invade Iran?
[+14] u/cashflow_: One guy here last week was like
CNN: alien invasion
Futures: +0.3%
And it’s still cracking me up
[+14] u/OneLeggedJaguar: The “please don’t panic, markets” announcement has happened
[+14] u/jonneh: Everyone say thank you to Scott Bessent for using our tax dollars to suppress oil futures
[+13] u/Liability049-6319: In all seriousness, Trump could try to pull out of Iran tomorrow and it still wouldn’t be over for months. Iran can outlast the US and Israel with the mere threat of destroying tankers in the strait. Unless Israel and the US send ground troops, Iran already won
[+13] u/trainwreck001: IRAN ABOUT THAT LIFE
OIL $300
[+13] u/borkdpasito: If oil dips on the navy coalition. Buy.
Why the fuck would more ships change anything. Iran will still attack indiscriminately.
The US Navy presence is already astronomical.
[+13] u/ConstantAd1: Most anticipated futes opening since last Sunday and the Sunday before that
[+13] u/rayzorburns: White House reporting they are looking for skilled jet ski operators to navigate the strait to prove there aren’t any mines.
[+13] u/WrexyWrex: 15 min until your fate is revealed
[+13] u/yushey__: Wow my oil shorts fucked
[+13] u/cannythecat: The bulls here are gonna be insufferable when a dead cat bounce happens.
[+13] u/aftherith: A coalition of international warships will be escorting you to bankruptcy
[+13] u/Sweaty-Sherbet-6926: A SENIOR ADMINISTRATION OFFICIAL ACKNOWLEDGED THAT THE ADMINISTRATION KNOWS PRICES WILL CONTINUE TO RISE BUT ADMITTED THERE ISN'T MUCH IT CAN DO AT THE MOMENT, ACCORDING TO A CNN REPORTER.
fucking dead
[+13] u/ModernR3volution: Drones companies next week going big ZENA
[+13] u/aaapod: i'm team close the strait at this point. we deserve economic collapse.
[+13] u/jraiv420: Big insider named Diddy buying Oil futes
[+13] u/UsernameTaken_123: She's a 10 but she believes the oil price spike is temporary and contained
[+13] u/jmc774: 🥭 gonna crash out over the oscars tonight lmao
[+12] u/killainvest: This has been the longest weekend ever just waiting to know I’m fuk
[+12] u/Long_Dong_Silver6: https://preview.redd.it/6vxwboij1apg1.png?width=1264&format=png&auto=webp&s=923cd5479f8995b88101b06331406daf18937f10
[+12] u/_Wendig0_: I absolutely love the copium "Oil futes turning red!" and it's like 10 ticks off the high lmao
Inject that regardium right into my veins
[+12] u/trainwreck001: BESSENT IS REQUIRED TO WEAR LIPSTICK IN THE OVAL OFFICE.
[+12] u/guzzledglizzy: Rev up those toasters boys I’m ready to take a bath
[+12] u/banned_maan: This volatility is what got all you degenerates here in the first place stop being bitches and trade it.
[+12] u/ThermalChaser: Probably a good time for greenland to launch a preemptive strike.
[+12] u/holycarrots: Netanyahu is shorting S&P from the grave
[+12] u/NotRllytho: How to tell your wife about margin:
I’m highly levered ✅
I’m in crippling debt ❌
[+12] u/UsernameTaken_123: If 🥭 blows up all the oil on Kharg, Iran really has nothing to lose anymore, might as well blow up every refinery in the mid east
Oil 200 ez
[+12] u/thai_sticky: Diddy hoardin oil was legit brains as fuk
[+12] u/cannythecat: Green futures = market open rugpull.
[+12] u/Napster-mp3: If you think this market is going up, I have some beach front property in Iran to sell you. LMAO
[+12] u/Joey-Cap: Massive amounts of YouTube crash videos being edited as you read this
[+12] u/CPA-hole: Hello I’m here to spread fear and misinformation
[+12] u/kemar7856: The bull market ended last October that's the truth 🐻
[+12] u/ismebbb: **SPY has officially been flat for half a year now LMAO**
[+12] u/Nice-Difference8641: Gonna be honest with you mango, I ain’t reading all that
[+12] u/retard_trader: I don't understand the oil futures man lol. Strait is still closed and we're up 1%
[+12] u/Samjabr: Friendly tip: Do not visit other subs.
[+12] u/drakilian: How many times in the past year have we seen weekend futures that were deep one colour instantly reverse twice as hard in the other direction the nanosecond market opened? Has it been literally every single weekend? It feels like literally every single weekend
[+12] u/mayorolivia: Imagine thinking mango has a plan here
[+12] u/Yousoldmetohigh: I love not even looking at futes and just coming here to see who is fuk.
[+12] u/Pale_Newspaper_82: Bessent, I know you're here lurking. Be sure to post lost porn on your oil shorts
[+12] u/Open-Yak-3708: Man every ***single*** day putsies r free money yet regards of wsb keep piling into calls and blowing thru their acct. Never seen anyone hate money so much
[+12] u/MagicMoon: Anyone get their DOGE check yet? I think mine got lost in the mail
[+11] u/stupididity: This is the first time I held a position on oil over the weekend
Absoltuley never again
[+11] u/aquaticsardonic: Whatever happens tomorrow the daily thread is gonna be LIT lmfao
[+11] u/jonneh: > As a rule of thumb, U.S. gasoline inventories cover about 25 days of demand.
>
> In comparison, jet fuel storage covers about 7-10 days of demand.
>
> Something to think about as the Strait of Hormuz outage goes into its third week...
#
Basically: long oil, short airlines, fuck bitcoin
[+11] u/No-Round-5774: Are you tired of winning boys ?
[+11] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: I just wanna cover my losses and delete the app..
[+11] u/JohanLiebert92: Reporter: You said it's an 'excursion,' and you said it's a 'war.' So which is it?
🍊: Well, it's both. It's an excursion that will keep us out of war. For them it's war. For us it's turned out to be easier than we thought.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 idiot
[+11] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: Bessent’s face right now
[+11] u/BunsMcCheeks: Oil was borderline comatose for the last 2 years and now it's moving like a shitcoin
[+11] u/Sick0h: Welp. Futes haven’t gone my way. Therefore they are fake.
[+11] u/jraiv420: 🥭 will fire Bessent if he can't keep Oil under 120
[+11] u/Dangerous_Pie_3338: Herly crerp they said earl is $106 per berl
[+11] u/jmc774: Im not making any moves until daddy jpow speaks
[+11] u/tinydisaster: Sooooo is Netanyahu dead? This keeps getting weirder. The proof of life videos keep getting weirder.
[+11] u/Fickle-Firefighter11: *TRUMP WARNS PREPARED TO LAUNCH NEW STRIKES ON KHARG ISLAND: FT
[+11] u/jerome-yellen: TRUMP THREATENS NATO AND PRESSURES CHINA: HELP OPEN HORMUZ OR FACE CONSEQUENCES
Trump to the Financial Times:
"If there's no response or if it's a negative response I think it will be very bad for the future of NATO."
[+11] u/dont_downvote_SPECIL: I've lost $33K on Reddit. Wbu
[+11] u/borat_he_like_you: Trump spotted at a Miami golf course as Iran war casualties rise
[+11] u/East-Description-243: Fuck this shit. Im buying everything tomorrow.
[+11] u/Templar_Swamp_Stake: If you ever feel bad about yourself just remember there are people who listen to the Joe Rogan podcast
[+11] u/UsernameTaken_123: Dubai keeps catching strays lmao
[+11] u/Fickle-Firefighter11: RIP BULLS, Dubai airport hit again
[+11] u/Neel_Crashkari: Can someone please monitor the situation?
[+11] u/PutzOnDonleon: Imagine thinking we crash because war in the middle east.. im ber but not that fucking retarded
[+11] u/ChampagnePapi-: balls are tingling in anticipation of futures
[+11] u/100xOrBust: Got banned on my other account for being way too funny. Jokes on them. I have a shit load of emails.
[+11] u/MediocreDesigner88: It’s hard to feel bad for people who lose money on crypto just like it’s hard to feel good for people who make money on crypto.
[+11] u/Training_Baker5454: Pedobear could never exist in 2026.
[+11] u/Difficult-Ask2278: It’s illegal to be gay in Iran. If every man on the tankers are nude then they can safely transport through the strait of Hormuz because Iran won’t be able to target them because it’d be gay to look. Oil crisis solved.
[+11] u/Sick0h: 40 minutes until everyone realizes the global stock market has ceased to exist and neither puts nor calls will ever pay out because the financial system as we know it is gone.
Average Sunday evening take.
[+11] u/gopoohgo: Me: Gooning all weekend for futes.
FUTES: FUCK YOU LOSER 0.07%
[+11] u/bearhunter429: #Stocks only go down LMAO🤌
[+11] u/ArchegosCapitalCEO: Thank you for the insight, Me-Regarded
[+11] u/Same-Brilliant2014: you should have read past the headline,
**They are still discussing, however, whether those operations would begin before or after hostilities end.**
[+11] u/Fineous400: Imaginary Characters
[+10] u/one_excited_guy: as always, monitoring the situation
[+10] u/borkdpasito: Corn pump -> Oil pump -> SPY dump -> rates don’t move
[+10] u/yushey__: Barron. I know you’re in here. Tell ur dad to go short oil now. Enough is enough
[+10] u/Just_Learned_This: Holy fuck I'm so fucked.
[+10] u/hv876: My moves tomorrow are spread cheeks, clenched jaws, and lube.
[+10] u/abroadbroadband: This week will be same same, but different
[+10] u/EvolvingDior: So happy y'all voted in an honest, trust-worthy leader who only chose cabinet members based on their experienace and qualifications to do the job well. You can't imagine the shit-show the world would be in now if that other guy had won.
*Hang on a second, what timeline did I arrive in?!?*
*Fuck!*
*Doc!!! Get me out of here!*
[+10] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: Large amounts of copium ore found in this thread
[+10] u/SaveTheAles: Asking every country but Israel to send their navy kinda weird.
[+10] u/sloanemonroe: I’m not seeing real numbers on Investing.com. Are you?
[+10] u/modder9: Bessent is crying again rn.
[+10] u/Sick0h: Didn’t open -2%, it’s a win
[+10] u/GuyFaulks77: Bears were calling for another black Monday LOL
[+10] u/SaveTheAles: The water wars started they have.
[+10] u/cashflow_: MY DAD CHANGED THE INTERNET SO EVERYTHING IN THE HOUSE DISCONNECTED. I CONTROLLED MY MOMS IPHONE REMOTELY AND FIXED ALL THE LIGHTS AND RING AND EVERYTHING. I AM THE SMARTEST AND BEST SON EVER
[+10] u/LostandConfused2024: BEARS ARE IN FUCKING SHAMBLES HAHAHAHA
[+10] u/BelgianBillie: something has happened for this market reversal
[+10] u/Unlikely-Run-400: How the fuck are futures not tanked? Literally oil is being blocked off. War isn’t stopping. wtf is going on
[+10] u/Ill-Expression1737: **Journalist:** "You said the war is very complete. But your defense secretary says this is just the beginning. So which is it?"
**Trump:** "You could say both."
👆never forget
[+10] u/betyourask: It’s simple, i shorted the futures oil open, and tomorrow I’m going to oil up your wife
[+10] u/enlightenedfarmboy: So far Iran has not retaliated for the island strikes. Surely they didn't wait for markets to be open?
[+10] u/Disconn3cted: Imagine you're a captain of a tanker crossing the strait and you see the USS Tripoli coming from the other direction
[+10] u/oshdwtf: How bad are the files?
[+10] u/Hellmale: What happened to credit card interest locked to 10%, 50 years mortgage payment, $2k checks 😝
[+10] u/Icommandyou: Shouldn’t have angered every NATO member by starting a trade war if you needed their help in brand new grand war in the middle east
[+10] u/Open-Yak-3708: How many of y'all are down more than 20 grand YTD. Fess up
[+10] u/mtnrnnr802: Can’t wait to be disappointed tomorrow when we open red
[+10] u/Impressive-Mud-3362: If I remember last week correctly, that was nearly a 3% move from Sunday to market open, futures overreact
[+10] u/hiphopanonomos: I hope you had a good weekend
[+10] u/ComplexLook7: My moves tommorow? Send a pic of muh dick to the WSB mods.
[+10] u/Artemaker: 40 minutes till oil markets open, apply lube
[+10] u/CPA-hole: $100 OIL IS SIGN OF HEALTHY ECONOMY
[+10] u/Fineous400: Market gunna get a boob job before open
[+10] u/isolated-cat: Idk dude am just pressing some buttons on the screen and that make my portfolio go up or down. don't ask me the VWAP of nothing
[+10] u/borat_he_like_you: Since peaking in July, Microsoft stock has fallen 28%, shedding $1 trillion in market value as it has fallen behind in the AI sex robot race
"We will never build a sex robot,” says Mustafa Suleyman, AI CEO of Microsoft
[+10] u/Broad-Belt-5888: So I came frighteningly close to putting my eyeball out on a tree branch today while golfing. Cut my eye lid open instead. I’m just kinda happy I still have both my eyes. For a second I thought I was fucked
[+9] u/These-Shoulder8017: Mango burned all coalition partners with his tariffs and shittalk. Let him beg his bestie Putler for aid.
[+9] u/Gom_KBull: All the brainded bols tunnel visioned on 🥭inability to handle a problem he started,
they're gonna be stupefied when the market prices in the private credit collapse exacerbated by said fuckup.
# ╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭
^(KEEN TOCKY)
[+9] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: What if futures didn't come in 10 minutes and we were forced into an alternate timeline
[+9] u/Sensitive_Guest_5995: Oil didn’t open at 300 wtf
[+9] u/Revolutionary-Owl766: Oil and futes up??? Someone’s going to get their feelings hurt
[+9] u/Usedillusion7: Dumb desperate wsb bols are so beat down they now get a sense of euphoria when the market is only slightly red 🤣🤣🤣🤣
[+9] u/Common_Ad_3059: Alright let's short oil now like the treasury does, surely nothing will go wrong
[+9] u/Thin-Distribution255: Confession: I have puts on oil that I am holding since last week.
[+9] u/callsonreddit: I wonder if war gonna escalate by iran destroying all oil fields of nearby countries
[+9] u/mayorolivia: There was strong buying Friday afternoon and oil hasn’t moved this weekend which suggests futures should be green. Of course, I work at Wendy’s so this is not financial advice.
[+9] u/UnknownM007: How many false promises has 🥭 offered to countries in this “coalition”
[+9] u/Ninja_Cooter: Futes gap up will be legendary. Didn’t even see it coming.
[+9] u/digitalradiohead: Coalition of the regards
[+9] u/trainwreck001: THE FEELING OF AN INCLING OF A CONCEPT OF A PLAN.
LOL
OIL $300
[+9] u/No_Physics_6953: Futes are red, oil is green, please Mojtaba Khamenei stop being so mean.
[+9] u/Fineous400: Bulls r fucked I can feel it in my boner
[+9] u/PushAble2463: Where’s the guy who needed oil to open at 87,5 or lower to not lose his family’s savings? Gonna be rough
[+9] u/callsonreddit: U.S. oil prices top $100 as Trump administration threatens strikes on Iran’s crude export facilities
[https://www.cnbc.com/2026/03/15/oil-prices-today-iran-war.html](https://www.cnbc.com/2026/03/15/oil-prices-today-iran-war.html)
[+9] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: Well nothing happening, I’ll check back in when you ding dongs get access at 8 pm
[+9] u/ericthedisrespectful: bloody bitch basterd market needs to go up. benchod
[+9] u/NeuroManXy: +2% Nasdaq is coming
[+9] u/illicit_FROG: If China sends Iran some new age anti ship weapon and one of those aircraft carries goes under the water, The outflow of money will be historic. This is some lose lose shit
[+9] u/hermeskino715: If I'm reading this right, idk why bols are getting excited for +0.2%
You guys lost a +0.8% lead on friday to -0.4%. Couldn't even pump it back to flat lmao
[+9] u/Scalpaholic: Nice dead cat bounce on the Indexes.
Welcome to the real world jackasses. - Oil
[+9] u/MrBlueEyedFox: Oh boy! Low volume futes is on tonight, can't wait to see the comments just for everything to change when I wake up tomorrow!
[+9] u/2keyed: Bulls claiming victory being up .1%
Lmao
[+9] u/Fickle-Firefighter11: Trump had all weekend to figure some fake bullish story and all he got was +0.1% —— bears will win
[+9] u/dallaslj82: Did oil really drop below 0 in 2020? I haven't kept up with it. Starting to now.
[+9] u/get_da_maney: I see Bessent working hard this Sunday lmao
[+9] u/mrmagootoyou2: I wonder what are the chances 🥭 hits kharg
Shit will truly spiral
[+9] u/Afraid_Contest_6769: CONFIRMED: 🥭 States, “Do NOT be a PANICAN. SHORT OIL” on Truth social.
[+9] u/UsernameTaken_123: Next he'll be asking Greenland and their dogsled for help
[+9] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: I know what you are thinking but you are wrong, the answer is Beautiful Clean Coal cars, you shove a bunch of coal nuggets on the trunk and done, and it's clean, so clean.
[+9] u/Impressive-Joke-3119: Okay, someone knows some insider information.
[+9] u/sloanemonroe: Do you remember how the market started green on Friday morning during regular hours and then went down? Now futures are up a bit 13 hours before it even opens tomorrow and people on here are excited. Jesus Christ
[+9] u/arbitraryBlue: Just one green day please, I'll sacrifice my middle child for it to happen (I am a childless father)
[+9] u/unhappyreach_: I want VIX at 19 and SPY 680 EOD tomorrow 😡
[+9] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: Gingrich saying they should widen the strait with nukes
[+9] u/wattap: Bears scouting twatter for their latest oil terrorism dopamine hit
[+9] u/ev01ution: I thought there would be a dead cat bounce. Oh how wrong I am….
[+9] u/Impressive-Mud-3362: We were supposed to go to Mars or discover life outside of our plants, not during my lifetime anymore.
[+9] u/Sidney_Godsby: I’m once again here to proclaim permabols are the most regarded creatures on earth
[+9] u/According_To_Me_: Imagine wasting all weekend watching oil lol
[+9] u/EnginrA: Why do my farts smell like burning wood
[+9] u/cannythecat: If you bulls are delusional to really think SPY will hit 700 this week SPY 700 calls only cost a few cents, stop talking shit and buy them. Or at least banbet it.
[+9] u/Necessary_Ad_9800: What’s your best advice to become happy?
[+9] u/ConstantAd1: BREAKING: OIL NOW CHEAPER THAN WATER, JESUS WEPT
[+9] u/SoloOutdoor: Most Mondays are a pump. Theyll put up 1.5% then rug you 3% by Friday.
[+9] u/katrav86: /CL and /ES moving in perfect inverse lockstep. to the second. this isnt pajama traders
[+9] u/RareEurf: #OSCARS PLEASE GIVE 🥭 SOMETHING SO HE DOES NOT CRASH OUT.
[+9] u/cashflow_: Remy night bag packed!
https://preview.redd.it/olyfhf8gkapg1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f434e289a97a4ff0bfa562b7fb82295c4458cc5c
[+8] u/SoterPie: I heard Iran removed all the 12 year olds from that oil island so Trump won't try to fuck it. All in BRK.B, it's my safe space for now.
[+8] u/Stealthhit098: If this war doesnt stop soon I might have to step in.
[+8] u/hfbvm2: UAE oil selling 150$ physical, even 106$ seems cheap. When its time for delivery you can 1.5x your investment
[+8] u/csr8765: Mind boggling that you really had idiots thinking futures would open higher after all the weekend news
[+8] u/bearhunter429: #Looks like another red week ahead. Bol can't even get a dead cat bounce. LMAO🤌
[+8] u/music_is_gud: Bulls are ultra retarded to rejoice a 0.2% pre market move after getting anally tunneled an entire week.
[+8] u/AhmOB: Buying SaaS, I don’t think it should be affected by war/oil.
[+8] u/West-Manufacture30: I'm staying for a couple of weeks in a real rough area for work. My office got me the best hotel in the area, which is a dump. I have been here for two weeks. I don't trust the hotel staff.
I just realized the window was left unlocked after the cleaning today, and the iron bar which prevents the window from sliding open has been removed.
Am I about to get murdered? Calls on AXON.
[+8] u/Kabrosif: Treasury shorting oil again on Sunday night. Who would have thought?
[+8] u/BooBrew32: TRUMP ADMINISTRATION PLANS TO ANNOUNCE COALITION TO ESCORT SHIPS THROUGH STRAIT OF HORMUZ - WSJ
Sorry bears...
[+8] u/Current_Animator7546: Just wrecked the ladies room at target. Bullish for TP stocks and Courtesy flushes lol
[+8] u/Bubbly-Form-7059: What effect does a dead Israeli prime minister have on the markets?
[+8] u/LetsConsultTheMap: I was poor to start with, so all of this doesn't affect me much
[+8] u/RaikouVsHaiku: Imagine following a US tanker in a lil conga line just to get smoked by 47 drones the moment you get in the strait
[+8] u/vgamer0: And on the 1st day of creation, God said "Let there be light. For without light, nobody can see the casino." - Genesis 1:3
[+8] u/nrfmartin: Just moments before meaningless numbers!
[+8] u/nrfmartin: Watching futures is the equivalent of watching the ball go round the roulette wheel and thinking it means something before it drops into a pocket.
[+8] u/abroadbroadband: Somehow these gas prices are Taylor Swift's fault, who is NOT hot
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
[+8] u/Rare-ish_Birb: Is Netanyahoo alive or dead? -- Schrodinger
[+8] u/fitnessfinance88: 20% oil, 20% gold allocation is always the play to hedge against government insanity/inflation
[+8] u/Sea_Trip_8941: Futures are barely red and bears are celebrating. Go back into Hibernation
[+8] u/trainwreck001: BESSENT WEARS PLEATED LEATHER SKIRTS ON THE WEEKEND.
LOL.
[+8] u/Solid-Season9984: Not looking good for ber
[+8] u/PushAble2463: «You’re gambling with ww3!»
Aged well
[+8] u/Common_Ad_3059: I've been liberated after going long on oil, gg bessent you got me
[+8] u/LeupMeisterGenral: JUST IN FROM TRUMP!!🚨:
“OIL BOLS GAY”
[+8] u/Neel_Crashkari: Crying into one hand, furiously jerkin it w the other
Open the casino
[+8] u/oshdwtf: Bussy will be a huge commodity during the upcoming apocalypse. Plan accordingly.
[+8] u/borat_he_like_you: To all the youngsters out there, I will be 100% honest but it's going to be unreachable for most of you to afford a new home
I would suggest to redirect your savings goal from a new home to a new top of the line sex robot
[+8] u/TechnologyEven6926: Nothing
Ever
Happens
[+8] u/Val44x: GREEN FUTURES AMERICA HAS WON YET ANOTHER WORLD WAR
[+8] u/FullCopy: Tomorrow we open green. will draw in the regarded bols then…replay of Fri 13. Persian rug pull.
[+8] u/Apple2o: MR GORBACHEV OPEN THIS STRAIGHT
[+8] u/Legitimate-Tutor-114: If you guys thought they'd let the markets go before SpaceX and OpenAI IPO's you seriously underestimate the will of the ruling elites to unload their bags onto retail.
We have one last massive bounce left this year, then after the bags have been unloaded we can crash down on midterm angst and increasing layoffs as a result of AI.
[+8] u/Fineous400: The trap was a trap!
[+8] u/qx2: This will end with some gaping.
[+8] u/imadade: lmao Australia stock market crashing, gold crashing. Oil and crypto pumping.
should i long or short? help
[+8] u/nadoterisback: blood green futes
bear in shambles
[+8] u/No_Cod972: apparently Khamenei Sr. was concerned Khamenei Jr. "isn't very bright."
Brutal.
[+8] u/Samjabr: Who else thinks US admin is holding 20% of China oil as a chip for historic end of the month meeting?
Apr 2nd could be the beginning of a mega run
[+8] u/cashflow_: https://preview.redd.it/gubv796hrapg1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b78e495bac189c3b8ddd002f7899178970bdd9e9
[+8] u/DCrebuilds: Green Monday and red for the rest of the week as usual
[+8] u/Fernyfern7: It's all computer guys according to Trump
[+8] u/Abject_Wish_3787: Minimum 3% day tomorrow
[+8] u/oshdwtf: I'm gay and my dick is small 🌈🤏
[+8] u/Common_Ad_3059: always mango announcing the news to curb the oil markets, only then by this week to bomb iran oil facilities
[+8] u/PocaMadre69: Looks like everything is fixed boys! Repeat of last Monday where we go up for no reason!!
[+8] u/FuckleUp: SPY on track for + 8%
[+8] u/vanceraa: MU running like it’s early january again 🥹
[+8] u/DingleJingle_: I just saw a video that Dubai's airport is on fire, according to the mango,it is probably not even real. Carry on with the pump.
[+8] u/NonsensicalWorries: My puts are so cooked dawg
[+8] u/unhappyreach_: OMG guys I posted in the weekend thread 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
[+8] u/boringfantasy: Bro... oil prices collapse just cause Trump said a video is AI? Are we fucking serious?
[+8] u/unhappyreach_: Surf fished for like 6 hours and didn't catch anything 😡🐟🐡👄👈
[+8] u/ShopWhileHungry: Oil down, war over guys
[+8] u/Fernyfern7: I guess the war is over according to futes
[+8] u/UncouthMarvin: Everybody having puts makes it impossible to drill
[+8] u/louis-debroglie: The only country that Iran will accept to guarantee a peace is China and WE ARE FIGHTING THEM ON TARIFF 301s as of an hour ago…
[+8] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: so what do you guys think? i didnt hear anything overly bearish this weekend....we gap up?
[+8] u/cashflow_: #MAKE LOVE NOT WAR. TOUCH PP NOT GUN
[+8] u/Contango_withme: Stay short until the end of April 📉
[+8] u/Co_OpQuestions: Brent up 2.5% what are you morons talking about lmao
[+8] u/borkdpasito: Brent M1-M2 is now $5. If that gets to $7 or $8 we are heading to $150
[+8] u/ReftLight: Gonna be the same story tomorrow. Red opening before 🥭 tries to say something to prop market up. I'll be ready with 0dte calls then.
[+8] u/jraiv420: Bessent I know your in here margin is calling about your oil puts
[+8] u/B2BContinuum: At this rate 🥭 and Hormuz are the front runners for Time person of the year
[+8] u/jayjay234: Waiting for 🥭 to manipulate the market as usual.
[+8] u/Me-Regarded: Potentially gap up +3% tomorrow
[+8] u/RagingBearBull: I dont think Iran wants to surrender.
from thier point of view, they are fighting an evil satanic PDF cult.
which is kinda ....... true.
oil to 🌕
[+8] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: have a good 15 minutes
[+8] u/Historical_Bother274: The problem is the boat cant cross the strait
[+7] u/SmilkyD: If gas prices go high enough can we work from home like covid boss?
[+7] u/Sea_Trip_8941: All time highs tomorrow
[+7] u/Routine-Agent-160: Upvote if technical analysis > astrology.
[+7] u/Irishbros1991: Sell your shit and buy an EV cause oil is going to the moon LMAO
[+7] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: I cant get my bf pregnant.. i think we should see a doctor
[+7] u/TechnologyEven6926: Why is America afraid of $100 a barrel? Like they print so much money at that rate
What are you trying to do?
[+7] u/Chrg88: Watching Landman. It’s really bad
[+7] u/borkdpasito: 22 minutes until bol fk
[+7] u/borkdpasito: A lot of bol cope here
Prepare your booty for 600 SPY by the end of next week
[+7] u/Ifuloseulose: What's up with the Netantahu AI vids?
[+7] u/Several_Bread_9144: Everyone is so focused on Iran they are completely missing the real story.
The reason I got ber'd up 2 weeks before the war started. Private credit is cracking and fast. And its not just some small fry portfolio. The largest AUM funds are marking loans to 0. Limiting or disabling redemptions entirely. Blackstone had to cough up 450$ million with 150$ million pooled from executives own pockets to cover the gap from some ~2$ billion in redemption requests.
Credit spreads have materially rose since the end of January. The high yield spread is up 20% from the January lows, almost a 3 standard deviation move.
These kind of events only happen before something breaks. Slow at first and no one notices, than all at once. Its 2023 bank run vibes all over again, if not worse, 2007/08.
[+7] u/CPA-hole: 9 minutes until my life has meaning again
[+7] u/Unhappy-Ad-2609: Bulls prepare to cry
[+7] u/WarmCan3034: there was a time, where I used to go to the beach, read books, hung out with friends on sunday afternoons...before I discovered options
[+7] u/zephyrs85: Make futes green again
[+7] u/mrjim87x: Where’s that idiot that kept shouting spy dark pools proved we open over 700. Retard
[+7] u/Far-Requirement9180: wtf is this, fyutes for ants ?
[+7] u/snspro: OIL COOKING HIS MORNING PRICE
[+7] u/retard_trader: If one more retard in here says "China invading Taiwan," and forces me to tab to google to double check, I'm gonna fuck my wife's boyfriend
[+7] u/JanetYellenNudes: How my tech calls lookin? I've been away the past week, the straights reopened right?
[+7] u/D1finalboss: Oil bois eating Wagyu tonight
[+7] u/borat_he_like_you: We hereby rename Dick's Sporting Goods to Penis Sporting Goods
[+7] u/pineapplekiwipen: holy crapto pump ber r fuk
[+7] u/RagingBearBull: I read the fine print.
if you buy oil in Yuan, you can transverse the staright.
how stupid are these people, the requirements are there.
[+7] u/CEO-of-SOXL: Looking for a crew of about 30-50 good men.
[+7] u/Sidney_Godsby: You guys lived through all of last week, and are somehow finding comfort in a +0.2% futes price?
Woof.
[+7] u/qx2: 🐂in here talking about 🌈 🐻 but market down 3 weeks straight, put your money on it.
[+7] u/ZealousidealSector19: Futes green enough to be fake
[+7] u/Joey-Cap: Silly bers,
Trump, Xi and Putin are besties
[+7] u/9tacos: You heard the man, this is a team effort now 🤡
[+7] u/ihopethisworksfornow: WTI and Brent futures more than 1% green with Brent over 100 and WTI at 98 and mfs here are celebrating their calls
I feel like I probably didn’t need this hedge
[+7] u/WiseIndustry2895: Slow and steady sell off, needs to panic sell for the bounce.
[+7] u/music_is_gud: Futes fading like bols' will to live
[+7] u/FullCopy: Breaking: Tom Hanks has volunteered to steer one of the oil tankers through the Strait of Hormuz.
Markets immediately price in a 30% lower piracy risk.
[+7] u/TickTockTaudit: Friend’s sister started dating this new guy, no one likes him. As a favor to her, we included him in a golf foursome. On the first tee box he is shit talking her and how he hates all her friends…which is literally the three of us. On the 16th, I didn’t realize he walked all the way to the green looking for his ball in the trees. I hit a pull draw with my 3 wood and hit him dead in the chest, on the fly, from 200. Just fucking incredible. Anyway, calls. QQQ 650 by June.
[+7] u/ismebbb: Market decided it doesn't care about the war today
[+7] u/brannock_: I don't see why we wouldn't test last Monday's low at 6580
[+7] u/Locke_____Lamora: Oil gonna trade in a 1% range all night just to gap up or down 15% at open.
[+7] u/SeaofSounds: Is it me or does Spy have a 490 gap fill.........
[+7] u/jsie-iaiqhsi816278: “military has been greatly diminished” 🥭
[+7] u/jsie-iaiqhsi816278: “you could make the case we dont even need to be there” 🥭
yeah dude and it was about to take us past 700 until you decided the usa should be there
[+7] u/-medicalthrowaway-: I just never got it
All the bullshit aside
He’s just such a pussy ass bitch 😂
How do people not see it
[+7] u/Locke_____Lamora: Iran could blow up 1000 oil fields tomorrow and spy would go up.
[+7] u/louis-debroglie: People believe what 🥭 is saying 🤡🤡🤡
[+7] u/louis-debroglie: Algos are trading 🥭’s manifesting statements… “Iran wants to make a deal” yeah no they don’t
[+7] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: Draining my 401k to buy 0dtes
[+7] u/bemeandnotyou: This mfr sounds like a door to door knife salesman, fkn chump
[+7] u/asetniop: “Oh shit, that was tonight?” – Sean Penn, apparently
[+7] u/retard_trader: Oil futes red is crazy
[+7] u/spudbro00: Just got on to check futures expecting to see 120 oil and -2% indexes and I see neither. The stock market ponzi scheme rolls on as usual
[+7] u/FuckleUp: A lot of people don’t know Taiwan is actually a ship 🚢 that can move 30 knots an hour
[+7] u/WocketWaccoon: 🥭 flip flops more than Tom “fat cuck” Lee’s tits
[+7] u/Organic-Lie4759: Fed Chair JPow-"Due to uncertainty in the world, rates will be lifted .75 this week"
[+7] u/-medicalthrowaway-: .43% after a week of draw down
Bols thinking it’s not the eye of the hurricane
[+7] u/bubbaeinstein: Bears going to weeping tomorrow. Booyah.
[+7] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: AvErAgE dOwN oN PuTs
[+7] u/oshdwtf: Premiums suck. We all lose.
[+7] u/ihopethisworksfornow: I hunger for burgers
[+7] u/GTS980: Futes green is comedy godl.
[+7] u/svpa3991: Bet you thought the same Friday huh lmao
[+7] u/jda823: So anyways, I started drillin
[+7] u/NonsensicalWorries: Let's see Paul Allen's Straight of Hormuz
[+7] u/No_Fig_7835: Futures opening is the new Sunday Night Football, thank you DJT!
[+7] u/tinydisaster: Horny Moose always wins. 🫎
[+7] u/Open-Yak-3708: Imagine being so fucking dumb to actually think market will forever keep going higher777 through the lies
[+7] u/Traditional_Hair_453: I WAS ONCE A BER BUT I SOON LEARNED MARKET IS RIGGED UPWARD.
[+7] u/csr8765: If you’re holding puts here, you likely have a long shift of burgers to flip tomorrow. Don’t forget to stretch those wrists and get some rest
[+7] u/MyDogsNameIsTim: Yall gotta understand, the market is all bullshit. Goes up? Bullshit. Goes down? Bullshit. Goes sideway? Bullshit. None of it makes sense so just buy calls.
[+7] u/cashflow_: going to Panama tomorrow. For a day. Hopefully duty free has buffalo trace whisky 🤞🤞🤞
[+7] u/jraiv420: Puts on the market and your port
[+7] u/NewDawn101: Gyna invading Taiwan
[+7] u/Waste-Milk2716: Ok Oil bears how are we feeling
[+7] u/scooterhomeimprover: It’s giving yet another bull trap
[+7] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: if the money spent on 3 minutes of this war was given to me I could retire my entire family for generations. Thats crazy!
[+7] u/FastFwdFrank: On a more important note, who you got for best actor?
Gotta B Michael B Jordan
They won’t dare give it to the fem white boy over the manly black man
[+7] u/jonneh: I see you manipulating the oil futures price Bessent you cunt!!
[+7] u/diunay_lomay_a: Oh no, oil is dipping. Bers might be fucked
[+6] u/octopus4488: I am listening to the anthem of the week:
Money for Nothing by ... Dire Straits
[+6] u/khryseos: Man I'm so tired of winning
[+6] u/aftherith: No one ever escorted me to a straight 😮💨
[+6] u/emr1028: If Iran was smart they'd hit a tanker at like 558 eastern just to cause a panic.
[+6] u/Any-Pitch-2963: usa market open & trump went :- what war? never heard of it.
[+6] u/OkResponsibility2470: I just read that Iran announced China and Russia are supporting them militarily, like 2 days after 🥭 dropped sanctions on Russia
It’s honestly amazing how incompetent this admin is and nothing is done about it. China should just get it over with already and invade Taiwan, let’s get this shit over with while I can still financially recover
[+6] u/Independent-Tree-985: >!Futures!< >!are always!< >!fake!<
[+6] u/Locke_____Lamora: well that's anticlimactic
[+6] u/retard_trader: Nice gap up on Brent crude. Keep in mind, this is with the US treasury absolutely dumping money into shorts.
[+6] u/SadDevelopment3049: Why are bulls so stupid? Just curious
[+6] u/amanj41: Copper futes destroyed I’m fucked
[+6] u/borgeris: Breaking news: Degens don’t learn
[+6] u/Normal_Tap3021: Oil is destroying a bull’s son college education
[+6] u/Retaining-Wall: This shit is barely PANTONE PQ-11-0205TCX Glass Green and bols be like "BERZ RECQUED!!!!!1!!"
[+6] u/laddie78: Building liquidity for tomorrow's dump
[+6] u/Sick0h: But but bers said this time was different noooo they’ve never been wrong noooo
[+6] u/SaveTheAles: Just remember if they start attacking the desalinization plants, we get tank girl and that means missile boobies.
[+6] u/Same-Brilliant2014: just 14 more hours to go, im sure nothing will happen by then and all this premature celebration will be worth it
[+6] u/Retaining-Wall: Most likely scenario:
Bers: 😡
Bols: 🥳
Theta: 🧐🤔🤓🤑
[+6] u/2QuarterDollar: On this episode of the Real White House Wives: Karoline does NOT like it at ALL when Scotty B stole here foundation. Do we finally find out what happened when Donny T called him away for 2 hours mid interview ? 🫣also oil talk and Iran talk probably
[+6] u/cashflow_: Gonna drop remy off at ex place in a couple hours. Not gonna see him for two days 🥲
[+6] u/PinealTone: Popeyes Franchisee With Over 130 Locations Files Bankruptcy..
Yea maybe not jacking up the price for a 2 miserable pieces of chicken would help...
[+6] u/VSU-yt: Asking for the UK’s help after repetitively cucking Starmer is top tier 🥭
[+6] u/Any-Pitch-2963: 9:29 am 🥭: the world was never ever as calm as it is right now. we make a deal with iran and they agree to change the strait name to trump strait. spy go kaboom📈.
[+6] u/DufflebagJoe: I'm hearing airstrikes just for funsies is still on the table.
[+6] u/svpa3991: Ponzi schemes are illegal unless it’s the stock market and even then this one coming down
[+6] u/Coogiez: Micheal burry said we are opening at 750 tonight and he wanted to mow my lawn
[+6] u/jraiv420: Bessent trying his best to short oil futes
[+6] u/iTouchStuff: Instead of fighting over a 21-mile-wide bottleneck forever, we cut a new channel through friendly territory. A dozen thermonuclear detonations and you’ve got a waterway wider than the Panama Canal, deeper than the Suez, and safe from Iranian attacks.
this is a real tweet from newt gingrich . wtf lmao
[+6] u/TJMBeav: Slow grind down tonight. No war news. Just an economy that is worn out and tired. A market that needs a real reset. We haven't had one in almost 20 years. Covid doesn't count other than to make the coming recession that much worse.
Let the game commence in 15.5 hours
[+6] u/Diamond-Solo: Staircase up. Elevator down. Prepare thy bundas for a pounding.
[+6] u/Split_Seconds: 🥭 " now is a good time to buy Pokémon cards"
[+6] u/ChannelGullible7324: Ber never learn they even told you they were going to manipulate oil and your like it's going to 300 🤣🤣🤣
[+6] u/RagingBearBull: god I miss the 80's
specially 1983, shit realy went down hill after new year 1990.
I miiss getting a good morning pat on my but from my boss, and smoking cigarettes at my desk. I didnt really care about the cigarette smell because everything smelled like cigarettes.
also I like commenting on boobies, because that was normal in the 80's
This is why the world is going to hell, when i say "Those are bigggg fucking knockers" and people look at me like I commited a crime .... we deserve 400/barrel oil.
[+6] u/Ill-Expression1737: lets all make money habibi
[+6] u/Ok_Environment_3618: GETUP SER!! GETUPPPPPP
[+6] u/Head_Welcome_4933: Hell yea ANOTHER margin increase from my futures broker. It’s getting ridiculous
[+6] u/aporter0131: Working a double at Wendy’s to make up my overdrawn account
[+6] u/Confident-Window4928: Being a ber is the perfect hedge against senile dotard politicians
[+6] u/Fineous400: They have already all said no
[+6] u/Gom_KBull: This thread became a gaped bol coping support group
[+6] u/AndItsThetaAgain: I’m sorry
Not for what is happening currently
But for what is about to happen when futures open
🫡
[+6] u/McGrundie: Bols getting bent over that oil barrel for my tiny ber cock. Deep breath bois
[+6] u/Oatmeal_Raisin_: This is NOT what melania meant when she said “be best”!
[+6] u/Commercial-District1: Why do you all freak out about futures, they indicate nothing
[+6] u/Cramer4President: Anyone else not seeing shit for futures
[+6] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: WTI creeping up as expected, reserves being released are like drops in the ocean
[+6] u/Cramer4President: Vix crumbling, bears are done
[+6] u/Rare-ish_Birb: Puts, again, i guess. 😬
[+6] u/Joey-Cap: Oil is going to see biblical call selling at the open.
[+6] u/TimujinTheTrader: Y'all really think China is going to invade Taiwan with oil double the price it was a few months ago?
That would be mango-level dumb
[+6] u/necarpenter417: What a strange week. Went to check on futures and looked up oil first. I've never cared about oil.
[+6] u/SighRamp: 100% expect small pump at open to reel in bulls then load up again on puts for the next lower low.
[+6] u/yyn1999: Europe should Just pressure Trump with droppin tarrifs If they Escort the ships - ART OF THE DEAL
[+6] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: Crudes at 99.99 but if had any I’d sell it to you guys for like $97 bc you seem cool
[+6] u/lalyt93: Starting the rug early I see
[+6] u/ihopethisworksfornow: >Mango says the U.S. will imminently seize Kharg Island and begin escorts through the strait of Hormuz. Iranian oil flow to China would be cut off as a byproduct of this (mango won’t mention that part)
>China mad as fuck about that
>Mango says they should’ve helped secure the strait
>China restricts rare earth exports, dumps treasuries, doesn’t buy soybeans, etc. etc.
>Oil tankers continue getting hit by the insurgency left by the crushed IRGC
Sounds about right, right?
[+6] u/jmc774: 🥭 gonna fire kegsbreath by the end of the month
[+6] u/Joey-Cap: Bers left the chat almost as quick as the flow of oil through the straight
[+6] u/Infinite-Anybody204: Not sure how this island supposed to open the Strait again. But I hear Trump has alot of expertise on an island so I guess we’ll see.
[+6] u/Zealousideal_Lock789: Almost bought a new car this weekend then the dealership said 6.5% with having an 835 credit score 🖕😂. Take me back to pre 2020!
[+6] u/borat_he_like_you: What % of Wall Street Bets is a woman?
[+6] u/PatentedSheep: I remember oil being in the $140s and it wasn’t nearly as dramatic as you fuckers
[+6] u/mrmagootoyou2: At this point just send in Shia Labeuf with a handle of Tito's to Tehran.
Last time he was in a city he terrorized it
[+6] u/DonDiabloTheGreat: How you feel about watching all the rich Epstein class at the Oscars
[+6] u/oshdwtf: The Costco hotdog and rotisserie chicken indexes are the only ones I care about.
[+6] u/Renovatio_Imperii: Gotta need a 3% day to save my memefolio
[+6] u/Dizzy-Green-3188: How many bears in here are witnessing their first market downturn since they started trading and are now fully gay forever
[+6] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: Remember when it goes against you it's somebody manipulating things. When it goes your way it's your incredible alpha genius
[+6] u/MaximumShady: Looks like the 15x longs i bought on friday are about to PRINT
[+6] u/WayDry848: **Trump warns Nato faces ‘very bad future’ if allies fail to help US in Iran**
[+6] u/Elforas_Tero: Every day we are a day closer to finishing the war. Bullish
[+6] u/TJMBeav: Depending on how futes go, I think my moves tomorrow are set. I will close my calls at the earliest reasonable opportunity. If it is an L it is an L. Then close the puts mid morningish. Then I am going to build a bear calendar diagonal put spread!
6/19 $SPY 700 puts and then sell 3/20 $SPY 650 puts to collect premium. Will close this position on a face ripper higher. I will use the credits rapid trade potentially.
Will roll my deep ITM put down and out as the market corrects. Will sell covered puts tactically to skim premium.
If I am correct on the general market direction (going to test bear market levels) then this strategy can produce sick amounts of realized profit with a reasonable risk level. Key is to be correct on the markets direction.
***I AM CORRECT PEOPLE***
[+6] u/tinydisaster: Children yearn for the sea mines
[+6] u/cannythecat: Can't wait for futures to open up -0.2 percent and for everybody to lose their minds.
[+6] u/GuyFieriFrostedTips: You know it’s bad when WSB is waiting for literally any made up bs out of 🥭’s mouth to yell WE’RE BACK BABY.
[+6] u/Open-Yak-3708: So much bullish stuff from 🥭 over the weekend. Market doesnt care anymore
[+6] u/Hot-Performancy: Smoking on that bear pack 💨
[+6] u/mamamiaaaaaa: Did they turn on the oil printer?
[+6] u/EvolvingDior: Gold dumping and crypto pumping.
[+6] u/RagingBearBull: We just need to get used to 300/barrel oil.
it will be fun, you dont have to go out and drive to work every day, sometimes its cheaper to stay at home and get yelled at by your ex wife and her new boyfriends.
[+6] u/Killersax: I think we all fucked
[+6] u/miata_only: Some people are saying futures are fake and gay. People are saying this.
[+6] u/jerome-yellen: The FED will JUMBO CUT this Wednesday and the SPY will hit $730 by Friday, BERS FUK
[+6] u/Rude_Assistance_4386: Oil bout to go negative on the day, doomers in absolute brambles rn
[+6] u/jsie-iaiqhsi816278: “its ai generated” 🥭
NVDA 200 END OF TONIGHT
[+6] u/9tacos: Should have completely destroyed Kong Island
[+6] u/AMX_revue: Futes red overnight, massive pump. Futes green overnight, gg
[+6] u/tgff333: Can you imagine bondi being a judge
[+6] u/sonofalando: Economy going to dump with all these layoffs.
[+6] u/Organic-Lie4759: Spy 700 by March 20
2035
[+6] u/horseisahorse: I honestly lost track of whether the sign was was last flipped to "all good" or "it's over" this weekend
[+6] u/zephyrs85: I think we're /actually/ fukt this time
[+6] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: HOW DO I PUT OIL UNDER MY MATTRESS
[+6] u/hfbvm2: 106$ oil on open, 150$ by end of week?
[+6] u/I-banged-elsa: Dude it’s fake until 9am tomorrow
[+6] u/Odd-Block-2998: Ok guys this is the end. SPY goes back to $600 in 2 months. Buckle up, time to buy the many dips!
[+6] u/BooBrew32: There are WAY too many bears in this thread right now. I think we all know what happens when WSB is defiantly on one side of the boat...
[+6] u/AusConsoleGamesLFG: Turns out GLD and SLV peppers were all pea brains, and useful shit runs on Oil not a couple shiny metals
[+6] u/Open-Yak-3708: #Hey bols making money in stock market should have always been a. Team effort between bols n bers. Let's do it together. Thanks for understanding
[+6] u/OsamaBagHolding: Great Thunbergs Flotilla seen crossing the Strait
[+6] u/Usedillusion7: Bols are down so bad they are absolutely ecstatic about futures being up 0.1%. what a pathetic group of degenerates. Looking forward to this week and watching them bleed out in real time.
[+6] u/DefiantDelta: every red candle on oil is an opportunity
[+6] u/DefiantDelta: boy who truthed wolf still working, incredible. we have to stop listening to grandpa's sundowning rants eventually
[+6] u/oshdwtf: Those files must be CRAZY!
[+6] u/ChannelGullible7324: Because half this sub is fucking regarded beyond help
[+6] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: You were a lot cooler when you posted for precious metals to pump
[+6] u/Impressive-Mud-3362: Since egg prices are down 800%, everyone should drive an egg mobile instead of gasoline car
[+6] u/Just_Learned_This: Believe it or not, theta day
[+6] u/Unhedged-Fund: When everyone is on the same side, shit goes the other way. Haven't you learned anything during your 10 unprofitable years of trading
Any word or move will be used to pump
[+6] u/jda823: And the crowd goes mild
[+6] u/dddman85: I hope Tehran will be smart and save the best just before market open. Just look how don likes to push out fake news to pump the market the gotta counter those with missiles
[+6] u/TechnologyEven6926: Just spent $60 at Cheesecake Factory
For 1 person LMAO
[+6] u/Historical_Bother274: But guys guys the bottom is in?? We had a 5% correction with the largest oil crisis since 1973. Why are we dropping????
[+6] u/Bubbly_Indication412: Longs on oil futures, let’s see what happens 😅
[+6] u/SnooRegrets6428: TACO Tuesday. I got money on it
[+6] u/guy_cloutier: Crude test 100. Will close my phone. Will get up at 4am to piss. Will be 105 and everything red.
[+6] u/juveyjords: Oil is not going down
[+5] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: so many mixed messages in chat we will be flat monday. thank you regards
[+5] u/UnknownM007: They should start live streaming these diplomatic conversations. Would be fun to hear world leaders lose their shit
[+5] u/lVlindless: Maybe it's all about trading the line.
Everytime I try to do TA and get into news articles and stuff, I just end up losing money.
Maybe it's as simple as just trading the line.
Pick a random option, when the line go down, buy, when line go up, sell.
[+5] u/Assketchum1: Recession is on the horizon.
[+5] u/WarmCan3034: 5 mins, im about to shit my pants
[+5] u/Ok_Worldliness_2902: What do we think oil is gonna do tonight? I think it will break 110 within the first hour.
[+5] u/I_am_Nerman: What happens to markets when 2200 marines take over Kharg Island?
[+5] u/Able_Durian_1832: Ideal world: 1. Iran surrenders completely. Inflation is under control. 3. AI actually creates more jobs than eliminating. The timeframe for this is one month
[+5] u/banned_maan: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+5] u/borkdpasito: The Brent is getting pumped hard
Asian diesel shortage is real
[+5] u/DefiantDelta: bessent sprinkling fairy dust on oil futes again
[+5] u/Ill-Expression1737: lol bulls gettn excited i feel bad
[+5] u/Fernyfern7: What if we took Iran and pushed it over there?
[+5] u/Valkorion335786: Got my tax refund
What calls am I buying
[+5] u/HealthyMembership946: Holding over the weekend ain’t for the faint hearted
[+5] u/Illustrious-Low4128: 6,625.25 (-10.75 or -.16%) for anyone who can’t find futes. Down slightly from after hours Friday.
[+5] u/catlitter27: Just confirmed, SPY will seesaw between 650 and 700 until 2030. Plan accordingly.
[+5] u/andytobbles: Wake up, ask to see u/31andnotdone ‘s titties, go back to sleep
[+5] u/Excel_Spreadcheeks69: Man I wish I had more dick
[+5] u/-B-H-: I keep thinking puts are too obvious to work. That has proven to be a false narrative
[+5] u/Marketdeigh: Why can‘t we just close it until midterms?
[+5] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: Spy should be added to predictions market
[+5] u/borkdpasito: I believe sub $100 oil is a buy if available at all today DYOR. I can’t see any scenario where we don’t see $115-120 minimum again in the next two weeks
[+5] u/TechnologyEven6926: Get ready for the Yen shock
[+5] u/No-Improvement3164: Flat and theta gang wins again
[+5] u/borkdpasito: Fuck I’m keen for all bols to log off in 8 mins
[+5] u/fundhdjdjksjs: Oil is pumping harder than a billionaire doing a teenager and you think Dow isn’t going to crash 😭
[+5] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: Come on Gold stop being a pussy ass bitch you fuck
[+5] u/Sensitive_Guest_5995: Oil is nearly doubled in 3 months and people are calling that boring. You all won’t be driving 😭🚂
[+5] u/Jarlaxle_rigged_it: Black Monday coming up
[+5] u/JernauG: You just know trumps watching the oil price right now, it’s like us looking at the same moon 🥲
[+5] u/Unhedged-Fund: bers are starting to sweat like a bull during oil spike
[+5] u/savemoney_god: SPY Calls and Gold calls looking mad sexy tomrrow
[+5] u/Impossible-Fun2027: Tomorrow is a lush green jungle day
[+5] u/Majestic-Bass6772: gonna have to sell my car to afford gas tomorrow 🥰
[+5] u/_throwawayeveryday__: No one cares about the Oscars. Live stream the straight instead!
[+5] u/dbqlls: Idk bros, sold a bunch of puts, bought some leaps, and got some shorter term calls. All since mid feb. Not feeling good about this lol
[+5] u/TJMBeav: I hope this isn't an indication on how the day is going to be? If so short VIX now if you can!
[+5] u/Same-Brilliant2014: I wanna start a trading futures but transferring money first and practicing with paper trading, up 2k imaginary dollars.
[+5] u/Legitimate_Cable_811: I haven't been following since I blew my 5th account last year. Did we purge? I remember we were north of 10M members
[+5] u/sloanemonroe: Markets believing mengos comments right now. Shockingly stupid
[+5] u/AlmostAsianJim: Spent 5 hours doing taxes just to owe $2k. Fuck you IRS.
[+5] u/svpa3991: So when 🥭 previously threatened he’ll use “force in the likes that has never been seen before” it was all BS. Who would’ve thought 💀
[+5] u/ResolutionAny8159: I’m gonna get fat as shit in protest
[+5] u/No_Current3675: What a fucking retard.
[+5] u/Retaining-Wall: Until Fuckbag says "escorts beginning *now*," it's meaningless, fake, and gé.
[+5] u/tgff333: US PLANS TO ANNOUNCE COALITION TO ESCORT SHIPS THRU HORMUZ: WSJ
So we're back to concepts of plans
[+5] u/Happy-Champion1661: OMG New Zealand pre pre pre futes big green, +10% tmrw
I meant oil futes
actual futes r fuk
[+5] u/Oneok-Field: My IC friends who gave me a 36 hour heads up on Iran said they have zero concern about China invading Taiwan right now
[+5] u/pmotiveforce: You know shit is bad when bulls, mascara running down their faces as heavy, ponderous tears pour down, cry and moan that bears want the end of the world.
Cry more, bitches ahahahaha.
[+5] u/borat_he_like_you: Gas is now $5.48/gallon in California
[+5] u/Bladee___Enthusiast: Somehow that’s lower than i expected
[+5] u/DefiantDelta: did you feel that, bol? that chill slowly crawling down your neck to your spine?
[+5] u/Joey-Cap: Having a cigarette watching the clock tick
[+5] u/fundhdjdjksjs: I. AM. THE. LIQUIDITY
[+5] u/YNeverWAlone: Crypto bros people would stop clowning you if you just realized and admitted that crypto is just another instrument to speculate on and to make money off of in its current state and not some new world changing concept
[+5] u/Fine_Specialists: #BTC FINALLY BROKE THREW 72.5K!!!!
[+5] u/jeeeeezik: im kinda mad people are delusional about this ngl
[+5] u/No_Astronomer2043: nobody knows what to do
[+5] u/CD274: Is the rumor that Druckenmiller bought back into sandisk true?
[+5] u/Timely_Chicken_1564: Looks like Shrek cocks at open. Glad i didnt sell. Got 3 biotech earnings ima play also. Should be a good day.
[+5] u/TechnologyEven6926: Fake news to pump oil markets
Oh, okay
[+5] u/Fineous400: Imagine it’s 2026 and your cars still runs on dead dinosaurs.
[+5] u/Coogiez: There is no way we go lower. Full rebound
[+5] u/Ornery_Intern_2084: Monday , red pre market, green at open and EOD
Tuesday, red pre market, green at open and EOD
Wednesday, w/e pre market, flat at open and EOD
Thursday, green pre market, red at open and EOD
Friday, green pre market, red at open and EOD.
same as last week.
[+5] u/WarmCan3034: whitehouse got $10 billion for tiktok deal, now we can use it for war I guess
[+5] u/callsonputsoncalls: Am I in the room with us right now?
[+5] u/SoloOutdoor: Creative cooking is the best way to get ahead. I just made nachos that would rival a world class brewery with leftover baby backs.
[+5] u/Common_Ad_3059: Watch 🥭 decides to bomb the oil production plant in iran after the release of emergency supplies
[+5] u/Arnab_Goswami_RTV: Bers know they will get rug pulled, let them enjoy the weekend
[+5] u/PushAble2463: Have you said thank you once since you came to this sub? I haven’t heard jack shit
[+5] u/jmc774: Soon we will be able to buy Trump™️ Oil
[+5] u/Rare-ish_Birb: Fwiw, saw 'The Girl who cried Pearls' at a film fest debut in Australia. Voting for that.
Ohhh. It WON!!!!
[+5] u/Fickle-Firefighter11: BREAKING: The Dubai Media Office says Emirati authorities are responding to a fire caused by a drone attack near Dubai International Airport.
[+5] u/perceptive_AI: Sean Penn said I rather stay home
[+5] u/BellacosePlayer: Team USA just got scored on. Bearish.
[+5] u/borat_he_like_you: Can't afford a house in California unless you inherit it
+$1M in some areas
[+5] u/1TAYatatime: More like the GAY of Hormuz
[+20] u/epyonxero: 🥭: why wont anyone come clean up this mess for me?
[+18] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: bring back WSB emojis
[+18] u/Bonkers119: Oil futures don’t really believe they’re gonna get escorts right?
[+17] u/FineJuggernaut3295: My bad for holding puts over the weekend
[+15] u/ProudestPeasant: living a minimalistic life is actually freeing.
[+15] u/VeganTurkishBaklava: I’m all in USO $150 Calls which expires tomorrow. Am I cooked?
[+13] u/wildcat1055: We don't need help re-opening the strait of hormuz. We have totally disabled their military capabilities. In fact, no one has ever needed less help re-opening the strait. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
P.S. Please help us re-open the strait.
[+12] u/GetBigOrDieTrying5: Scared money don’t make no money
[+11] u/SuspiciousStable9649: For what it’s worth:
https://gulfnews.com/uae/fire-reported-near-dubai-international-airport-following-drone-incident-1.500475657
Seems kind of like a minor thing.
[+11] u/Chemical-Coconut-203: Has aftermarket trading ever meant anything?
Genuine question, I'm not being hyperbolic. Is it ever a reflection of what happens at market open?
[+10] u/kingofjingling: So basically if it’s a fake SPY pump in the morning, buy puts, cash out by end of day. Seems to be a pattern.
[+10] u/zendayastoothbrush: Selling covered calls is weird. U want the stock to continue going up, but not toooo fast 👀
[+10] u/pacific_b: I’m Johnny Knoxville and this is crashing the global
economy
[+10] u/puffinnbluffin: Msft never getting back to my $438 entry
[+10] u/michaelis999: this shit reeks of bul trap, not falling for it
[+10] u/sck178: Bull and bear alike, I hope you all make money this week
[+10] u/AirportMaterial5917: I saw the sign and it opened up my bussy
[+10] u/Helios-Sol: If I don’t get an award I’m calling the hotline
[+10] u/dunk4899: I’ve never gotten an award before
[+9] u/cryptopolymath: BREAKING: My wife has warned that i face a 'very bad future' if my friends do not help me pick up the garage , according to FT report.
[+9] u/iFiredIce: Gold just did a lil drill down
[+9] u/TestingLifeThrow1z: Award me so I can start prayers for the put options now and call options at open.
[+9] u/Mysterious-Device-53: Christian gambler here
[+8] u/Williamnguyen62838: TANK BY OPEN, IT’s JUST SO OBVIOUS
[+8] u/TokiAsuma: Seeing all the optimism here is how I know tmrw might be a puts day.
[+8] u/Venom17645: bibi dead multi finger operation dozen digit
[+8] u/Scared-Army313: it must have upset them so much that the pedo shit dropped right before ai so they cant say its all ai
[+8] u/Garbage-Disposal-938: How will the markets react if there's an authentic (or false flag) attack on US soil?
[+8] u/Czyzzle: What are you planning to do?
[+8] u/Christiano97: Everytime it was deep red at night it gapped up. Now it’s green it will probably be death by 9:46 🤣
[+8] u/Mysterious-Device-53: It must be hell to be a momentum trader these days, LMAO
[+8] u/Horcsogg: Got damn gold and silver just shat themselves.
[+8] u/OkRecommendation1040: Crazy how my entire net worth is in spx puts expiring at the end of the year
[+8] u/zonestarx: I’ve never gotten an award on this app
[+8] u/sami_regard: US Gov shorting oil at its finest!
[+8] u/Lil-PussyFart: Red through pre-market, up 15% after open
[+8] u/Aggravating_Sir_4709: Our nation is the only one where oil is "down". Most manipulated futures I've ever seen.
[+7] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: Watch the US government get squeezed lmao. 🏳️🌈basement will have personally lost billions and so will the US taxpayers.
[+7] u/Disastrous_Ad3779: You will be exit liquidity 🐻👀🫵
Soon you’re gonna be trading pebbles for food if you don’t buy the right things. Unfortunately nobody will sell you food for pebbles.
[+7] u/AirportMaterial5917: Come on spy pop ur bussy
[+7] u/kalakesri: The oil prices are AI generated fake news. It is actually free now. Thank you for your attention to this matter
[+7] u/BenySpaghetty: My company is part of a private equity roll up. We were asked to provide management guidance as to how much we could invoice last month. We gave them a number. They came back and said, "No. Tell us how much the theoretical upper bound is. Like, if everything shipped out and we sold out of inventory. Stretch it. It will be easier to explain away why it didn't happen after the fact." Real solid decisions and accounting happening in private equity these days, guys.
[+7] u/btoned: The good news is if WW3 breaks out at least we can talk to chat bots and generate funny pet videos. 🤘🏼
[+7] u/voidedhip: Bro.. give it time lmao
[+7] u/nyse25: Always inverse WSB. Always.
[+7] u/Positive_Back_9335: Silver and Gold V incoming. Shanghai opens in 15 mins
[+7] u/Character_Pirate_152: the stock i shorted has a huge green boner right now. i am scared.
[+7] u/pussinbuuts: Who’s out here pumping futes and shorting oil overnight
Scottie is that you
[+7] u/ProudestPeasant: i'ma bout to make me some fatteh
[+6] u/neutralpoliticsbot: yo these jokes are not that great
[+6] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: Blizzards shutting down states AKA major interstates like i35 and i80 is surely bullish right?
[+6] u/ProudestPeasant: china gonna be the next mainstream tourist destination.
It's a huge country. Family-orientated society which is a plus.
everyone that goes presently is amazed.
[+6] u/AideApprehensive7441: Hope this keeps up, another great put buying opportunity
[+6] u/neutralpoliticsbot: yo these theater kids are annoying as hell man
[+6] u/Basis_404_: If you:
- used 30 ships to run escort convoys
- kept a ratio of 1 tanker to 1 escort
- Ran escort convoys every two days (one day out, one day back)
It would take close to a month to get all the tankers stranded out. This does not take into account normal tanker flows in and out, this is just to work out the backlog.
[+6] u/HonestScar7176: Gonna be a another very red week
[+6] u/Liquidsnake959: MU and SNDK ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
[+6] u/Ok_Wealth_3433: And regards were making fun of oil bears lol
[+6] u/no_simpsons: fucking mercury in gatorade, every. time.
[+6] u/G0RD0N_CLARK: He's too masculine AND the surf & turf budget was just too much to ignore.
[+6] u/ThinkingOfTheOldDays: This mayo monster can't keep getting away with it!
(yes, he can, and will)
[+6] u/jyohnyb: Welcome to the theta gang dick riders club
[+6] u/Urzuck: Imagine thinking that this shit won't dump at open, stupid cocky bols.
[+6] u/The_Albertino: Should have held onto those barrels during Covid when it went negative
[+6] u/colinr813: Spy puts everyday at open
[+6] u/GoldenAries4: Did people really think being an oil bull would make them rich? When does the obvious trade ever work out. You guys were never going to just get handed an easy win lol, to think otherwise is delusion.
[+6] u/Status-Net2947: Baby Oil 🆙 Crude Oil ⬇️
[+6] u/Stonkrates: Bulls grasping at straws. 600 SPY coming all the same.
[+6] u/Basis_404_: Holy smokes guys futures up are 0.4% and SPY is back at 665 those bears are so cooked
/s
[+6] u/LarsTarkas: Iran just waiting for crude to get cheap before they full port and sink a tanker
[+6] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: Ruh roh raggy, your ruts are roast
[+6] u/LarryStink: Wouldn't be surprised to see another attempt at highs before they dump it for real real.
[+6] u/coronanona: Russia is joining the coalition!
[+6] u/ring_of_slattern: Americans literally can’t comprehend a government that isn’t just bloodthirsty warmongers.
[+6] u/Venom17645: believe it or not, calls
[+5] u/dontslambro: 1 hour and 10 mins til futures
[+5] u/PopularCut4124: There is no reason to be long, unless you are special
[+5] u/Atomic_Hot_Sauce: Claude, here is SoFi’s recent 10K. Help me understand why their share price is depressed
[+5] u/SuspiciousStable9649: Technically it’s all flat, but it sure is entertaining.
[+5] u/Thecreamcheeze: Calls should do well
[+5] u/ThatGuyDan123: Some of the ber comments in here just goes to show retail is so far out of the actual loop probably getting info from twitter and taking it as fact LMAO
[+5] u/ElkQuiet1541: "Iran warns residents in parts of Dubai/Doha to leave". what is this supposed to mean? are they bombing Dubai even more? regional war now
[+5] u/Fomo4life69: Feels great being a gay bear
[+5] u/spreadbetfred: Mass devastation from multiple historic accidents aside, nuclear power sure would solve this Middle Eastern leverage.
[+5] u/Soffatjockis: Everything on the wsb front page 1+ days old
Mods: deleting everything that isn't a half-assed yolo post
This sub is dead af
[+5] u/uncorrelatedgambling: Had all five stages of grief about the bullish stuff i bought at Friday close, but these futes are looking good and futes are never wrong. Right?
[+5] u/Iscratchmybutt: corn mooning like a mf...
[+5] u/Icy_Jelly_315: Put the fucking fries in the bag
[+5] u/Bill-Imaginary: green by 0.01%, suck it, bear bitches
[+5] u/GuiltyShirt3771: Will nvda ignite the AI circle jerks next week?
[+5] u/Coinifyquestion: u/cashflow_ are you 🐂 or 🐻
[+5] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: letting mom braid my ass hair tonight
[+5] u/Competitive_Ride: I think if everyone agrees he won he will stop
[+24] u/All_FIREdUp: The U.S. begging for help legit makes them look weak as all hell.
Fuckin yikes 😬
[+22] u/FxSpecter: The U.S losing all it’s aura by begging for help LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO. Be ready to learn Chinese. NI HAO.
[+18] u/Money_Custard_5216: Making money on puts feels so good
[+17] u/Airhostnyc: Regards trying to be smart about world affairs while going broke on 0TDE options is peak WSB
[+17] u/ajibtunes: 🥭to reporters: NOT' MY JOB TO KEEP STRAIT OF HORMUZ OPEN
[+15] u/Lostmymindandmoney: We deserve to lose this war tbh
[+15] u/QuartersToPlay: Another drone strike, Trump begging for help, Iran saying no to ceasefire, countries telling the US to fuck off. And much much more! But yes, bulls, tell me how this is bullish for your ports. Youre so cute when you lie 😂
[+13] u/Only-Cranberry-4502: Almost 7k comments in this thread and about maybe 3 brain cells
[+13] u/BjergBetterThanFaker: why is Mango begging NATO for help when he said the war is already won
also why does Netanyahu keep saying Iran is days away from the nuclear bomb when Mango said completely annihilated their nuclear programs
[+13] u/hey-coffee-eyes: Oil is a scam invented by horses so we'd quit riding them. We need to go back.
[+13] u/funkdizzletron: I’m going to exercise my oil futures so I get a barrel oil delivered to my apartment
[+11] u/DJpissnshit: Used to take the Oscars seriously as a kid because I thought it meant something.
It's just rich and good looking people telling themselves that they're the best.
[+10] u/whodey84: Shit is so badly run even Australia isn't joining us in this excursion.
They did vietnam and GWOT basically for fun.
[+10] u/HandsomeTod11: My moms dying wish was that I would get a reward on Reddit
[+10] u/Spear_n_Magic_Helmet: I summon three additional cards from my deck
[+9] u/Pete26l96: YOU JUST KNOW THERE ARE THOUSANDS OF WSB USERS WHO BOUGHT SOFI, RDDT, AND HOOD AT THE TOP LOL
[+9] u/softboiledjadepotato: Gas already passed 4.20 gallon where I live in Oregon... This won't end til 6.90
[+9] u/QuartersToPlay: Every oil dip is getting bought holy shit lmao. This is gonna be bad.
[+9] u/GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONING: bulls be like: "stupid ber hoping WW3 kills millions of people"
and like at this point yeah. I pretty much am. I'm addicted to buying puts and I don't know how to stop
[+9] u/Impressive-Name5129: So oil is going to go through the roof today bulls!
[+9] u/Comfortable733: Turns out…tariffing and belittling our friends was not helpful
[+8] u/whodey84: Bulls staring in the mirror:
"YOU are NOT exit liquidity, YOU are a financial genius who buys every dip no matter what"
[+8] u/These_Percentage75: Yall gonna not buy this dip and then complain when spy is up 12% EOY.
[+8] u/shortgamegolfer: This will turn out to be the best point in 2026 to have bought.
[+7] u/Standard-Top-5942: whats the point of the war again?
[+7] u/SlfImpr: In case you missed it, 🚀🚀🚀 in a couple of weeks!
NO PANICANS!
https://preview.redd.it/b9ho874kyapg1.png?width=990&format=png&auto=webp&s=2b47aa736d7e52111c153aec534c55ce02256463
[+7] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: Bols think war is over and everything will be suddenly green.
Refineries have been destroyed.
Even if the war ends, the pain on the economy is just starting.
Meanwhile Iran has now vowed to "destroy world markets".
And which will come first? Iran doing a major terror attack with its sleeper cells. Or Israel pulling a false flag to really get the US going.
[+7] u/Shinjukin: Announce an announcement, of a coalition to develop a concept of a plan to get a handjob from Margot Robbie behind a Wendy's.
Everyone should definitely invest in my futures.
[+7] u/No_Skirt_4689: Ber, bol, 🥭: all fuk
Hormuz stocks: 🆙
[+6] u/SHUT_DOWN_EVERYTHING: Strategic reserves are about to penetrate the market hard and fast. For the next 6 weeks there's effectively no global shortage but logistical disruption means there could be local shortages.
Oil storage in the middle east however is gonna run out in 3-4 weeks and then they'd have to shut things down which will take time to restart.
3-4 weeks is a lot of time for things to change.
[+6] u/apurimac777: This ***** deadass told the financial times that Gyna should help him clear the Strait of Homo
🤣🤣🤣
[+6] u/version-two: Whoever is airdropping these awards deserves a Nobel Peace Prize
[+6] u/CigInside: Can’t figure out why anyone is anxious about the future of our country. We’ll have Jake Paul for president
[+6] u/ValueOfADollar: how long until overnight market opens?
[+6] u/IndependentUsual7444: SPY 700 CLEAR THE WAY
[+6] u/Karl151: How long before we start getting reports of countries denying the report of escorts?
[+5] u/Jpm907821: Oil going up tomorrow ? Or nah
[+5] u/Revolutionary-Owl-79: Commodities down, $ up, stonks up
[+5] u/surmoiFire: this week WSB gonna change from Middle East expert to Climate Change expert
[+20] u/ProudPeak3570: imagine ruining your relationship with other countries by imposing tariffs and then begging them to help you in a war now
[+15] u/HowLongCanIMakeACock: Calling in gay to work tomorrow
[+14] u/Whatevs56: You could say 🥭 has found himself between Iraq and a hard place.
[+13] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: # Breaking: The Strait of Hormuz is still closed and your port is still in shambles LMAO
[+13] u/ArisZG: Imagine the guy negotiating with you is actively and publicly trying to kill you. Chapter 3 in art of deal. Come in to any deal with leverage. Brilliant move by mango. Especially after chapter 2 was executed flawlessly. Shit your pants on national TV.
[+11] u/bigmeatbag: Yeah Donnie, threaten NATO now, that'll help. What a 🤡, he's gone full regard and 🌈🐻
[+10] u/baller1able: Timothee thought a ping pong movie was going to win him a oscar 😂
[+10] u/TheDudeAbidesFarOut: Unreal...
The Middle East conned this dipshit administration into doing their dirty work.....
[+9] u/chikenbeer: Gf: Stop checking reddit and x
Me: I'm monitoring so many situations rn
[+9] u/DesignerSea494: Record number of Americans are old as fuck.
[+8] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: I feel its going to be theta day tomorrow..
[+8] u/Beneficial-Age-9293: What have I learned this year:
- When dollar gets devauled buy gold
- When Straight of Ormuz is closed buy oil and fertilizer
- When bitcoin goes down buy silver
- When USA bullies small countries for no reason buy foreign ETFs
Probably a bunch of other scenarios I learned in the chaos of last 6 months.
[+8] u/Throwaway18987987: The death of oil was greatly exaggerated
[+8] u/ratomelo: I don't get why you guys are losing your fucking minds over oil barrel prices rn, it's all so relative.
My buddy In Dubai told me that if you roll up with your own barrel they'll hand you crude oil for FREE.
[+8] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: Oil looks ripe to fucking dump overnight.
[+8] u/Clubpenguin8888: BTC and stocks r doing good but as soon as I wake up and the market opens they’ll be down, just how it’s been for the past 6 months
[+8] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: Day trade Monday and Tuesday morning. Expect volume to die Tuesday afternoon. Gtfo by Wednesday unless you’re bearish. You fucks downvoted me last week for saying it but check the macro data weekly schedule. If you can’t day trade don’t trade right now
[+7] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: That YBN 🥭 was talkin mad ish about his boats and escorting oil through the strait but now he’s weak AF lookin for homies to back up his bullshit
[+7] u/emperor_dinglenads: MU TANG CLAN COMIN AT CHA
[+7] u/FinishWarm1746: Record number of Americans withdrawing from their 401k
Calls?
[+7] u/mannycalls24: are ya monitoring the situation son?
[+7] u/Red_Zone_Broly: Gold looking like it's about to have a 4th consecutive red day
[+6] u/Appropriate_Ice_7507: Come on uso 120c 130c and most of all 140c please print 🙏
[+6] u/dehmos: Have you people considered your debunked theories are not evidence of global or nation-building conspiracies but of your retardedness
[+6] u/Asleep_Emphasis69: this is going to be the flattest, boring +/- 2% year
[+6] u/Neat-Concentrate-239: pumps fading you stoopd fkn bol
[+6] u/ScarletHarpy93: Russia is allowed to sell oil again, so they're able to fluff their BTC accounts to launder funds into black market operations.
[+5] u/redshift83: it’s not a Nazi tattoo
[+5] u/music_crawler: DOW down 1% by open.
[+5] u/BrownDog42069: Thought he said he didn’t need them. this dude smh
[+5] u/Academic_Banana_5659: Futures are ....green?
What the fuck
[+5] u/yosark: I’m assuming it’s green tomorrow
[+5] u/More-File4546: What will MU be at in 30 minutes? 410 or 450 lol
[+5] u/Larkalis: We continue diving until oil stabilizes.
[+13] u/qui_tam_gogh: SPY gonna RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIP tomorrow (+.02%)
[+11] u/AlmightyCheesusCrust: Corn pricing in for tomorrow’s +3% gap up on SPY
[+11] u/ajarbyurns1: Keeping watch on suspiciously timed wagers on US/Iran ceasefire in polymarket rn
[+11] u/Ok-Organization1796: Oil is holding strong. This is not looking good for tomorrow. Spy will retest 670 in the AM, but I think it's shooting down 3% from where it's at this week. Unless something big happens - which, according to taco will only be the case with a mass coordination of the world's superpowers to loosen up the strait. In other words, slow, expensive, and painful effort to open up the strait. Gets worse before it gets better. I'm holding puts so might be cope.
[+11] u/tripstermcgee808: You lay one brick, you’re not a bricklayer. But you buy one put, and you’re a fuckin idiot 😭
[+10] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Alienating and pissing off the world then begging for their help is an interesting choice. Fucking idiot
[+10] u/exhibit304: Crypto pumping. Checked the news thinking some sort of news was announced. Nope. Nothing
So strange
[+10] u/RelationshipShort460: wall of text truthsocial.
[+10] u/TheDizzyTablespoon: So what was the benefit of starting this war again?
[+9] u/TippyTippyTippyTop: Apologies to the gays but this is absolutely bullish as fuck. Calls.
[+9] u/Derpy_Mc_Burpy: Future green = red at open
Future red = green at open
is this an infinite money glitch
[+9] u/JakeSal10: Plz downvote if you can read this
[+9] u/BuyHandSanitizer: I do not enjoy working
[+8] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Oil up, crypto up, stocks up
Dafuq
[+8] u/mods_ban_me: 🥭 is extra triggered tonight nonstop shitposts lmao
[+8] u/SupaGai: Shorts closing tmw. Pamp it
[+8] u/Odd-Spray5046: we finally forgetting about the the files, their plan is working
[+8] u/Acceptable_Bed_6033: Hmm private equity restricting withdrawals. Easing regulating on banks liquidity requirements. I really think we’re heading to another 2008 soon.
[+8] u/vandalofnation: Got to give credit where credit is due. Future up 40 on a sunday while oil still up, vix still up, and dubai airport burning. Bolls got balls buying up here.
[+8] u/AshamedImagination50: I just want a 20 bagger. Ill quit after that. I promise
[+7] u/Skykay93: District Plaza pizza place is 385% busier than usual tonight, just a couple miles from the Pentagon. Storms are brewing
[+7] u/bullhunter469: Butures FUCKING GREEN AS FUCKING DICK lmao
BER HOLDING 0 DTE PUTS lmao
Lmfao
[+7] u/Boromir-Wants-: #anyone else feel lonely when the comments from the Bers stop?
[+7] u/DanasSideWife: Where’s Elon with the minesweeping minisubs? All done pretending to be the hero now?
[+7] u/beachsandwichen: Buckle up ya pussies do u wanna make money or do u wanna milk ur mommies taters
[+7] u/General-Elk-6537: There goes btc hitting 74 again for the 13th time this week
[+7] u/IsraeliPedophile: omg. My USO calls are actually printing!
[+6] u/McKoijion: All jokes aside, the American century is over. We’re turning into England. Calls on some American James Bond type character that makes us feel better as we become poorer and less powerful.
[+6] u/gainsusmaximus: Legendary crash out on jpow and Scotus lmao
[+6] u/Pretend-Yard-2150: trump loves inserting the personal nicknames he created in every pop off
[+5] u/Capable_Desk3544: Oil is the only coin that has utility
[+5] u/CoinKedo: ES -36
NQ -65
CL + 101.74
[+16] u/SquirtleStomp: We have concepts and plans of announcements
[+15] u/PvP_Noob: ahh yes nothing is more reassuring that requiring a military escort for commercial traffic.
[+12] u/Quarter-Normal: This war makes me want to live in the middle of nowhere and be self sufficient
[+11] u/r4rLIC: Why not tow the tankers through the desert using cybertrucks? Are they stupid?
[+11] u/sanmar2225: #dont let them shake you out. buy every dip.
[+9] u/Gombrongler: I see why Fuckhead just does what he wants, he could launch a nuke and Go "We're all going to die unless i get 100 Trillion" and the Markets would be green so with a headline like "Option for Survival Given!"
[+9] u/BoostMobileGuy: Humus strait is close because Obama wore a tan suit
[+9] u/GamblingMikkee: Yup we deep red tomorrow
[+8] u/postachioo: Fuck it 670 calls at open if it stays down
[+8] u/cbusoh66: I got a tremendous idea, hear me out:
Oil As A Service (OaaS)
[+8] u/Saqify: 🌽 edging that $74k breakout for the 10th time
[+8] u/Aggressive-Ad-2707: Pump all night to dump in the morning?
[+7] u/zestykite: Oil margin requirement up again.
[+7] u/Comprehensive_Tea388: Imagine watching the Oscars and not thinking they're all a bunch of pedos. Puts on Hollywood.
[+7] u/gomper: Gold fighting hard to hold 5k
[+7] u/zer0_chance284: This is when it gets fun
[+7] u/TacoInABag: Vix is refusing to go down. Beware bulls
[+7] u/Cold_Distribution273: I think once people realize oil 100 isn't going anywhere it'll keep pumping, no news over the weekend and no less demand.
[+6] u/Aggravating-Buy-1695: Oh we are GREEN as FUCK tomorrow!
[+6] u/Right_Traffic_4821: Winning an Oscar and not showing up is baller af.
[+6] u/hard-workingamerican: Helium. 35% of it comes from Qatar and Iran is blowing up their plants. Used in chip production and to cool cpus and data centers. US media doesn't have a clue.
[+6] u/MRROSADOH: I need it to pump so I can buy puts and then it shits again
[+5] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: nothing is more expensive than being a permabear
[+23] u/Swimming-Cupcake7041: After a full year of telling Europe to man up, mind its own business and take care of itself, he now wants Europe to bail him out in Iran. Let's see how it goes.
[+14] u/Cryptonomancer: Under Biden, media played up a negative story. Now they print whatever admin says, then later run a story about facts that nobody reads. Seems like calls, reality is never coming.
[+13] u/BarberQuarter: Didn't know an expanding oil crisis was bullish
[+13] u/KarmaWhoreCam: The trend is headed down though. Unless it’s like 0dte puts then you could fuck yourself, but every bounce is artificial rn.
[+12] u/Vort3x7689: Treasury definitely shorting the shit out of oil they have those algos tuned for 100
[+12] u/Swimming-Cupcake7041: BREAKING: FIFA Navy joins coalition to secure Hormuz
[+10] u/Marcostbo: This market doesn't make any sense
[+10] u/MakeOSUGreatAgain63: Idc what premarket does
This week is cooked and will end lower than we started it
[+9] u/Competitive-Elk9326: MMs currently loading up their 5th syringe of heroin for another day keeping the 🥭market afloat
[+9] u/PlasticHot5834: so keep longing oil and shorting the market. bull run starts in june.
[+9] u/Ahzmer: Oil rallies and spy too? Didnt know you could have both lol. Feels like one is fake, and i have my guess which one
[+9] u/cantTankThisFox: I know us amerifats are going to ruin this MU pump and dump it back to 415 I can just feel it
[+9] u/kairepaire: With oil still this high, its deluded to think this will be a green week
[+9] u/HalaMadridPapaFlo: lmao bers in shambles
[+9] u/Th3Gr33nBastard: How do some of you psychopaths sleep with the TV on all night?? God I fucking hate my neighbors
[+9] u/College_finals: Every time I touch myself , my calls get rekt
[+9] u/ExoticDaikon1872: this will dump so hard at open lmaooo
[+9] u/early-retirement12: 📈📉📉📈📈📈📉📉📉📉📉 modeled exactly for tomorrow trust me guys
[+8] u/ExoticDaikon1872: I have never seen such a fake and gay futes
[+7] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: Just bought into the 🌽 bull trap
[+7] u/Emergency-Ticket5859: Trump expects China to help unblock the strait of hormuz
Yeah ok good luck buddy
[+7] u/Wildskullz: yo ur kinda cute
yeah u
fucking cutie
[+6] u/paradox60660: The Chinese will be the ones with RGB Led lights on their weapons.
[+6] u/ALPHAmythic: Sold 50k worth of voo friday, good idea or bad?
[+6] u/cloudsofgrey: Are MU Micron calls literally free money this week with earnings guaranteed to beat
[+5] u/vaksninus: Isnt the point of voo to just chill?
[+16] u/binga001: 🥭: shits on sofa
🥭: hey, everyone should chip in to clean this up since everyone gonna use it.
[+14] u/Academic_Lock_1699: First 🥭 tariffed everybody and now wants help with the strait 🤣🤡
[+11] u/TrollerCoasterWoo: “TotalEnergies says production has been shut down or is in the process of shutting down in Qatar, Iraq and UAE offshore, representing approximately 15% of the company’s total output.”
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/live-blog/2026-03-15/iran-latest?cursorId=69B7B00769700000
Some of y’all think that’s bullish
[+10] u/NlNJANEER: SPY higher and Oil higher. One of these two is lying
[+9] u/Ordinary_News_6455: Heat death of the universe is priced in. It’s bullish
[+9] u/xSpectre_iD: BTC down 10%? HOOD down 12%.
BTC up 10%? HOOD up 1%.
Great
[+8] u/NotEasyOne_Regard: 1 bowl
1 yogurt in bowl
Some garlic smashed in the bowl
A piece of lemon squished in the bowl )you mainly want the lemon juice but you can also leave some bits of the lemon inside too)
Some cut dill
Mix it good with a fork so air can also move in the sauce.
Better served cold (it will be if the yogurt is cold)
Enjoy with chicken, fish, pork, toasted bread, ber tears, boiled potatoes, other things that you may think it fits.
Later edit: DON’T FORGET SALT. I forgot to mention salt.
[+8] u/Chance-Duty-9453: War is going terribly, China being shady in Taiwan so of course I wake up and we are green overnight
[+8] u/jeezuspieces: Still waiting for the day I'm sat next to baddies on a plane
[+8] u/discussionandrespect: Market is bored of war, want to stick massive shrek candles up ber ass
[+8] u/throwawaydonaldinho: Cake? For breakfast? You have to be an undercover amerifat.
[+7] u/OnTheWaterWagon: 🥭 wants help...
LMAO
[+7] u/undocumented_twerker: Good thing ai is replacing oil
[+7] u/Low_Plastic363: I fly 15 times a year or so, a couple of those first class, and I've never sat next to an attractive woman. Not once.
[+6] u/Eduardusthegreat: My uso calls are fearing for their life!
[+6] u/Elons-Musky-Balls: We have bombed the Middle East over 30 times in the past 50 years and every single time except one the market was higher 2 months after the first strike. This is nothing new. Wars are bullish no matter how many times you try to convince yourself we are gona crash that doesn’t make it true. Market history is your friend use it
[+6] u/x2manypips: MU to $600 this week?
[+6] u/whitewashedsyrian: The gnarly bull trap they’re setting up on crypto rn…
[+5] u/whenyournotdead: Just say you’re broke lil bro
[+5] u/cinciNattyLight: Palantir, not good enough to win the war in Iran but will be muuuuch more successful setting up mass surveillance.
[+5] u/anonkraken: oh yeah bulls are absolutely fucked