The pigeon accusations are false

I am the director of Aerial Operations at Pigeons Incorporated and I would like to formally deny involvement in today’s shoulder strike. First off, we pigeons do not waste premium aerial ammunition on a man already trapped in an AMD 200/215 call spread during peak IV confusion. That’s excessive. We have ethics. Second, your interpretation system is completely backwards. Red days are caused by dumb bears saying “this can’t possibly go lower” before a major announcement or market event. We are merely observers. For the record: \- 2019 shoulder hit = random stimulus checks \- 2021 shoulder hit = meme stock gamma apocalypse \- 2024 shoulder hit = AI bubble phase 7 \- Today = unrelated digestive event from an amateur juvenile pigeon named Carl Also, the “drone pigeon” accusations are hurtful and frankly outdated. If we were federally operated, do you really think we’d still be eating cigarette butts outside Walgreens? Anyway, based on rooftop sentiment analysis and stale french fry liquidity indicators, tomorrow will open green, rug by noon, then somehow AMD closes exactly where maximum pain hurts everyone equally. As always, Coo coo.