I'm bird poop, markets will go sideways

Summary

• The author mockingly claims they are "bird poop" and predicts markets will move sideways tomorrow.
• The post dismisses both bullish and bearish bets, advocating for theta-gang strategies (selling options) as a general approach.

• This is a low-effort meme post with no supporting data, analysis, or specific ticker discussion.

• Quality assessment: Noise / pure shitposting.