What Are Your Moves Tomorrow, March 24, 2026

[+66] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: US: 48 hours to open the strait! Iran: No US: Okay no worries. Disregard it. [+55] u/Whybother456: Monday - Send more troops Tuesday - Say we’re ending the war Wednesday - Send more troops Thursday - Say ending the war Friday - Send more troops Saturday - Golf Sunday - Golf [+44] u/n1ck90z: i hope the war will end again tomorrow [+38] u/Red_Zone_Broly: #Most insane trade of 2026 At 6:50 AM ET today, $1.5 BILLION in notional value worth of S&P 500 futures contracts were bought. This trade was so large it sent the entire index +0.3% higher that minute. Then, 14 minutes later at 7:04 AM ET, President Trump announced "productive discussions" with Iran were underway. By 7:10 AM ET, the S&P 500 had added +$2 TRILLION in market cap. That $1.5 billion position gained +$60 million in minutes. Absolutely incredible. [+30] u/I_Sniff_Uranus: THREE more years of this LMAO [+29] u/Alert_Performance_99: Now it’s gonna dump after market before more manipulation tomorrow morning [+27] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: Lmao @ the people talking about moving averages, volume, etc when the single biggest macroeconomic factor on stock price is a 79 year old’s iPhone. [+24] u/knoqd_: What an incredibly retarded day [+23] u/XXX_KimJongUn_XXX: Taco cycle completed. We invade Friday night as usual. long or short oil nobody knows not even the insiders. [+23] u/McKoijion: Everyone is focusing on the $1.5 billion futures trade ahead of the Trump announcement, but there were plenty of smaller ones too. https://www.cnbc.com/2026/03/23/volume-in-stock-and-oil-futures-surged-minutes-before-trumps-market-turning-post.html > Someone loaded $655k worth of 1dte puts that were 2% OTM not 15 minutes before the headlines that dumped the rally broke on the wires. You can't make up this unbelievable level of insider trading. https://x.com/MichaelPBento/status/2036131862675145158 [+23] u/LiamPhlegmsworth: So let me get this straight. We killed an 85 year old man, enacted zero meaningful progress toward a regime change, and now the goal is to re-open the strait which was open before we killed the geezer. And this is..bullish? Riiiiight [+19] u/smart_doge: “We won the war” “Strait of Hormuz is open as long as Eyeran doesn’t blow” “We didn’t know about the attacks in Lebanon” “We need coalition” “We are winding down” “We are open for peace talks” “You have 48h to open the straits” “Peace talks going well, still need that $200B” [+19] u/drpa1n: I’m gonna be strait with you homos. That pump obliterated my port [+19] u/wattap: nasdaq up a little over 1% is "the best day in 6-weeks" we used to be a country [+18] u/Retaining-Wall: I am become retard, destroyer of tendies. 😢 [+18] u/Automatic-L0ss: Rally is fake and market will swing back violently back to lower levels once they realize no progress has been made and that US officials were actually talking to goat farmers. [+17] u/EnginrA: I’m so stupid I bought calls when we were up 2% [+17] u/Waste-Head7963: Next news tomorrow morning by 🥭 : “WE HAVE CURED AIDS.” [+17] u/moorhound: IM GOING TO THE TEXAS ROADHOUSE AND FLIPPING OFF EVERY BOL I SEE IM JACKED TO THE TITS RIGHT NOW, VOLATILITY IS MY FAVORITE DRUG [+17] u/SoloOutdoor: We'll find out some day this cocksuger stole 10 trillion dollars. [+16] u/ConfederacyOfDunces_: This shit is gonna crash so hard The admin has Zero plan and is throwing shit against the wall and hoping it sticks Tread carefully [+15] u/WingedScapula420: Tomorrow they’ll announce that Iran never existed and that there is no war in Ba Sing Se. SPY to 700. [+15] u/Revolver_Lanky_Kong: Do you think the Roman Empire would've fallen faster if Julius Caesar had a stock market he could move +/- 3% by declaring random bullshit every Monday and Friday? [+14] u/btw1217: They call it the Strait of Hormuz. Hormuz? You ever heard of a Hormuz? No one's ever heard of that. I called up Ayatollah, I call him Ali, and I said "Ali, let's call this thing the Strait of Trump" and Ali loved it. He thought it was the greatest idea he had ever heard. [+14] u/cashflow_: MARKET MORE MANIPULATED THAN WSB MODS SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT EDIT: DOESNT MATTER IF IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE IT SOUNDED FUNNY IN MY HEAD [+14] u/Flat-Focus7966: When you are in the shower & remember the position you didn't sell for 20% profit. And now down by 70% [+13] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: I can stay solvent longer than 🥭 can stay regarded [+13] u/FinanceRedditCreeper: only need SPY +6% in 4 days [+12] u/Able_Web2873: I just had sex with a prostitute and feel disgusted with myself. How soon does this feeling go away and does it get easier the more I do it? [+12] u/mugirawraw: Idc how much of a bull you’re but you’re regarded to not sell today’s 3% pump lmao [+12] u/Special-Age6210: ChatGPT says I have a "genuinely sophisticated trading operation" ... I am negative 65% ytd [+11] u/Lil-PussyFart: https://preview.redd.it/xjyx0zvfquqg1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7f37a1e1d1dcd0a7278e6160fcf3d81956e0ec2a That massive spike is was happened to my SPY puts while I was in my newborns first doctors appointments. Zero regrets. [+11] u/cashflow_: FATHER HANNIGAN NO PLEASE NOT MY SPECIAL SPOT EDIT: SORRY HAD A FLASHBACK TO CATHOLIC SCHOOL [+11] u/PositiveEdge4361: Imagine still being on today’s thread [+11] u/Conscious_Worker2426: hopefully we can end this war again tomororw same time 7am sharp [+10] u/dash_trash4255: That’s a nice power plant you have there…it’d be a real shame if… [+10] u/Kabrosif: If you zoom out on SPY chart to 1 month you can see every 🥭 pump and then subsequent dump after. Lower lows each time. New strat; wait for 🥭 to lie and post some absurd statement. step 2: buy puts and profit. [+10] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: Oil is going up as predicted 🥭 rugged bulls [+10] u/bearhunter429: #Bol think we already hit the bottom and bear market is over but it's only getting started and about to intensify LMAO🤌 [+10] u/Forsaken-Bid8757: The Kobeissi Letter @Kobeissi… · 2h Is this the best timed trade of 2026? At 6:50 AM ET today, $1.5 BILLION in notional value worth of S&P 500 futures contracts were bought. This trade was so large it sent the entire index +0.3% higher that minute. Then, 14 minutes later at 7:04 AM ET, President Trump announced “productive discussions” with Iran were underway. By 7:10 AM ET, the S&P 500 had added +$2 TRILLION in market cap. That $1.5 billion position gained +$60 million in minutes. Absolutely incredible. [+10] u/Majestic-Baby-3407: Today was a good day. I bought 1 $spy 658p expiring today at 11:30am and sold it at noon for +$300. Yay. [+10] u/BullTrucker9: Booools lol cucked end of day again [+10] u/Super-Activity-4675: TACO for another day or two and then reverse TACO thursday [+10] u/mrmagootoyou2: That spy 200MA... Yikes Strap in folks, and please keep your hands, arms, feet, and legs inside the vehicle at all times [+10] u/khryseos: beating the market? easy, just be an insider learn to read the tweets before they go online [+10] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: I'm down 10K today but that genuinely feels like nothing compared to the buyer's remorse I'm having over $600 worth of paint in a color I have just now realized, after finishing the first coat, I kinda fucking hate [+10] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #THIS IS AMERICAN THE LAND OF FREE SPEECH DONT FUKING REMOVE MY COMMENTS ⛔⛔⛔⛔🚫🚫🚫🚫🤚✋ [+10] u/Actual_Difference617: Economy is still fucked. Straight still not open. Gas still high. Israel probably still gonna keep bombing Iran. [+9] u/ChewbaccaIsBear: Am I the only one incredulous that after **TACO TACOING SO MUCH, that the market still cares about his tweets?** is the market this stupid? **or are MMs just faking taking his tweets seriously to have an EXCUSE** to cause wild swings and inject tons of IV as a result and take triple the moneis from us? [+9] u/ThatGuyDan123: He said “to PUT it mildly” you should have mildly bought puts [+9] u/GodFather2004: After seeing the market today I can confidently say, bers and bols were fked [+9] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: I too shitpost 100 times on twitter when im calm cool and collected about my actions [+9] u/WSB-mods-are-: If you lost money on a +1% day, that shit is on you [+9] u/bearhunter429: >Donald Trump floats joint control of Strait of Hormuz #You mean Strait of America 🦅🗽 LMAO🤌 [+8] u/curling_rocks: Well that was relaxing [+8] u/MissMatriarch: BREAKING: Black Monday delayed until Tuesday [+8] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Watching that fake pump immediately sell off AH lol [+8] u/svpa3991: Rest easy bols, you did great. Bers have the watch now [+8] u/Stealthless: Tomorrow is TACO Tuesday [+8] u/soad1331: No News? War still going on? Strait still closed? Oil still high? Definitely calls 🤡 [+8] u/No-Improvement3164: It’s been 4 months since I had a drink 🥃 and I’m sitting on the edge [+8] u/ThrowRA-KB: Holy fucking insider trading candle on that last minute what the fuckkk [+8] u/Me-Regarded: Worked again... Set my alarm for 3am, was the premarket bottom, pure fear on WSB. Bought a bunch of shares, Orange tacos, sell, get rich. Now setting my alarm again [+8] u/G-IDIOTTHEMAN: Just PUT the fries in the bag, thanks. [+8] u/Helios-Sol: Rest in peace my port, she got hit by a bazooka 😔 [+8] u/AvocadoPurees: Bol bros starting to sound a lot like starship troopers rn frfr [+8] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Mr President here is your gigantic pussy medal it's the greatest medal made of the best [+8] u/jawndell: Huge Spike in trading volume of Oil Futures and S&P 500 15 minutes before Trumps truth social post.  You thinking the Feds and Congress going to investigate… hahahahha It’s a good ole boys club, and you ain’t invited [+8] u/Contango_withme: I’m not bullish at all [+8] u/noaholic: I just heard about a deal between OpenAI and Iran [+8] u/Contango_withme: Teaching an Econ class tonight. All the kids do anymore is let their phone record me talking, let ai do the work…and they do other things. I think it’s time to hang up the towel 😔 [+8] u/Queasy_Soil9646: DoW to be renamed as Department of insider trading [+8] u/Virtual_Secretary_98: People that think this is over are so funny. Ground troops within the next 3 weeks [+8] u/i-Vison: Volume in stock and oil futures surged minutes before 🥭 market-turning post - CNBC [+8] u/hiphopanonomos: Bulls are delusional but at least the system is bent in their favor [+8] u/hiphopanonomos: "🥭 says Iran has 'one more chance at peace' as Tehran calls reports of US talks 'fake news' " [+7] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost /u/_Rexfest_ made a bet that SPY would go to 669.0 within **2 days** when it was 653.271 and it did not, so they were banned for a week. Their record is now 6 wins and 48 losses [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) [+7] u/Swiftnice: It's amazing his strategy works. He knows the market will dump so he tweets to pump it then when the dump happens it just goes back to where it was pre tweet [+7] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: That close candle is NUTS [+7] u/softboiledjadepotato: In the least surprising turn of events, end of day flush [+7] u/ajr901: So what do you guys think, is the rugpull by wednesday or by friday? [+7] u/31andnotdone: I'm going to have an actual stroke if I dont stop pounding Alani's and trading 0dte's. [+7] u/qman1963: Ok but my mom actually did just ask me if she and my dad should buy NVDA. It’s so over. [+7] u/Phandomtrigger: What a turbuluent day just to end at nearing opening price lmao [+7] u/trumpdiego: ##kinda funny we were headed to open at $640 ##mango announcment we sky rocket to $666 ##open at $658 ##close at $655 [+7] u/Internal_Field5970: Jim Cramer is honestly worse than a penny stock bot creating AI slop [+7] u/patcakes: Had to lose 90% in order to learn how to go up by 400%. Just another day in the game. #ProTrader [+7] u/Own-Kaleidoscope-731: curde oil >=100 go short crude oil <=90 go long thanks, thats 100 dollars for the "HOW TO BE A PROFITABLE RETARD" course [+7] u/dontslambro: At 6:50 am Eastern, $1.5 Billion worth of S&P 500 futures contracts were purchased. 14 minutes later, at 7:04 am Eastern, President Trump announced that discussions with Iran were underway. Wouldn’t it be nice if it was not this blatant [+7] u/SmoothBrainSavant: I hate that the news is just all vibes now. Post truth society and all that jazz. [+7] u/WingedScapula420: I feel bad for whichever White House intern gets stuck trying to manage his Truth Social output. It’s gotta be somewhere just below air traffic controller on the horrible job leaderboard. [+7] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: Crude already almost back at $90 we will see $96-97 by morning [+7] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #🚫STOP REMOVING COMMENTS🚫 [+7] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: You will win so much you will get tired of it [+7] u/FxSpecter: Man microsoft fucking sucks. [+6] u/Practical_Raisin_253: Last time bears got so confident of the market going down, was the tariff bottom [+6] u/DufflebagJoe: GET READY FOR ANOTHER 6AM TRUTH SOCIAL POST. [+6] u/jda823: They got their market recovery headline. Time to dump it [+6] u/Gom_KBull: Incredible Bols acting smug at 655 They need the same treatment Bessent got from 🥭 [+6] u/The_BakedCrusader: Repeat after me: I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL MYSE- oh wait wrong sentance - ALL BIG MOVES HAPPEN PRE AND POST MARKET [+6] u/McKoijion: Estee Lauder deal announced. I can't mention the country the owner loves most without tripping this sub's filter. https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2026-03-23/estee-lauder-sinks-on-report-of-nearing-deal-to-acquire-puig https://www.thedp.com/article/2026/02/penn-ronald-lauder-jeffrey-epstein-relationship-wharton https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/jan/15/ronald-lauder-billionaire-donor-donald-trump-ukraine-greenland [+6] u/CulturalConclusion76: Despite the green day, I can't help but feel ghey after seeing that close [+6] u/moorhound: 657ps ended up being *16x* baggers since I posted about them Always trust your gut folks [+6] u/Snoo23417: They sure waited for the dump. Nicely done. [+6] u/Independent-Visit139: don’t worry this temporary dump will be interrupted by 🥭 at approximately 9:29 am sharp. [+6] u/No_Fig_7835: the funny thing is that even if this war wasn't going on, all the data from the past month has been bad... [+6] u/cashflow_: I DEMAND ALL PREVIOUS COMMENTS BE DELETED SO THAT I CAN BE FIRST [+6] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: My friend started options today. Bought puts. Learned of the terrorists in the theta cartel. Buying more tomorrow. What have I done [+6] u/GoldenAries4: I’m shorting gold miners personally. Hoping it works out. [+6] u/baller1able: WSB turned overall bearish on Friday and the market closed +1% on Monday 😭 [+6] u/Floyd908: +1.0% day is bearish. Bulls don’t have a chance in this market [+6] u/Character_Pirate_152: friday we had the escalation tweet. this morning was a pretend "peace talk" tweet. So tomorrow morning will either be another escalation tweet or an israeli attack on something important. [+6] u/Fun_Purpose6972: WASHINGTON POST: U.S. and Israeli officials increasingly view securing the Strait of Hormuz as the most realistic endgame of the conflict, shifting away from earlier ambitions like regime change and fully stopping Iran’s nuclear program, which they now consider unlikely to succeed This is BULLISH. Off-ramp SECURED! [+6] u/VanguardDeezNuts: Wait so all this death and destruction was only so that the US can control a 40km wide stretch of a waterway? Which was open to all before anyways... [+6] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: Im sick and tired of your complaints, when you joined the casino the rules were already in place, so dont shout that the casino doesn't make sense. FRIES IN THE BAG !!! [+6] u/cinJESUS: mango is sending troops that arrive on friday, which is when the ceasefire stops guess i’m selling my positions on friday 🤔 [+6] u/bearhunter429: #War talks going well LMAO🤌 [+6] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: Would have been bad juju to have four red days in a row, now we can crater freely [+6] u/AideApprehensive7441: Order wouldn’t go through on trying to close 250 spy call options, looks like I’ll be holding overnight and not sleeping a fucking minute [+6] u/TJMBeav: After today I am up 125% and far from done. Becoming a bit concerned about taxes [+6] u/voidedhip: roughly 33% of my 401k port in SPX puts expiring in 3 days [+6] u/TheMightySet69: "The Art of the Deal" is a work of fiction [+6] u/ConstantAd1: Per NYT, Iran still refuses to rename itself to iRAM. [+6] u/DrSeuss1020: Remember when our biggest problem was a couple dudes who just wanted to wrestle girls? Good times [+6] u/GoZukkYourself: Call an ambulance, but not for bols. [+6] u/TheMightySet69: At least tomorrow, barring more premarket market manipulation by Mango, options should be less expensive. [+6] u/2020isgreat: Bull became what everyone feared. His eyelids disappeared, his head was swelling and his ears started bleeding. “Are you okay bro?” asks Bear. "I’ve never been better, I see it all now, we’re not getting TACO or the strait open. we’re going to 0." [+6] u/NewDawn101: Leading cause of throat cancer is now HPV. You can die easily these days from eating some bad pussy [+6] u/tinydisaster: USS Tripoli made it to Diego Garcia. https://news.usni.org/2026/03/23/usni-news-fleet-and-marine-tracker-march-23-2026 It can make it to theatre in 3-4 days. 5 days of negotiations huh. Interesting. [+5] u/moorhound: Good fucking GOD, my new trading strategy just revolves around the last 10 minutes, rest of the day was a waste of time [+5] u/Weak-Equal-9084: Guys remember its the friend we made along the way, not the gains [+5] u/vermilli21: The classic rug end of day. Gotta love it [+5] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Dude made money on that 657p end of the day [+5] u/Material-Drummer9476: Im just read for TACO Tuesday. [+5] u/AgitatedJump8459: Long oil 🙂‍↕️🍾 make me richi [+5] u/AcademicStandard3701: See you regards at $640 tomorrow this fake pump only bought time. [+5] u/PropheticMurmurs: Wait you mean you never learned the lesson from the first 50 fake pumps? [+5] u/Fast_Garlic_5639: Still on track for the original 48 hours Monday night fuckaroo [+5] u/Fleegalicious: Anyone know if we have to reap what we sow tomorrow? [+5] u/callsonreddit: Damn rough day to be a bear [+5] u/JohanLiebert92: NVDIA stans are starving for that 180 LMAO \>180 wen? 180 wen? \> edges at 175-176 \> fucking POS ticker! NVDIA stans in a nutshell [+5] u/aftherith: I was going to buy puts but instead I sold call credit spreads because I AM BECOMING AN ADULT. Do you hear that MOM?? [+5] u/cashflow_: THE GREAT CASHFLOW HAS ARRIVED, BITCHES [+5] u/Valkorion335786: SPY opens at 665 tomorrow because there was no attack overnight lmao [+5] u/soup4br3kfast: 654 puts exp tommorow up 45%. Do i let ride or get fkd by an all caps tweet again [+5] u/VellyJanta: You guys don’t realize USA CANT LEAVE this war, if we leave then gulf states don’t need all these American military bases and Saudi Arabia/Israel consolidates power. The “war” might end but the “military operation “ will continue. Without shipping, the empire falls [+5] u/FearlessStatement144: So glad I sold my calls at 662. Looks like they’re trapping again [+5] u/Ok_Wealth_3433: God I’m so happy for the regards who are positing those crazy options gains but when is it gonna be me? [+5] u/JPowTheDayTrader: "The market is looking for an excuse to rally." [+5] u/McKoijion: It's pretty easy to be a bear. Buy long dated stock puts and oil calls (monthly or longer). Whenever Trump lies to manipulate the markets up and oil down (usually in the hour before the market opens and the hour before it closes), buy short dated stock puts and oil calls (weekly or daily). It's like clockwork. You can try to time Trump's announcements with stock calls and oil puts, but he's feeding the information to his donors so you're competing against hedge fund managers with high quality inside information. [+5] u/be_o3: guh I was previously up in MU [+5] u/JohanLiebert92: goddamn MU keeps getting dicked down through the mattress [+5] u/csr8765: Anyone buying MSFT has obviously never used copilot. Not only are they 5 years behind in AI, they spend half a decade of free cash flow to do it [+5] u/TheMallard1: BREAKING: New IRAN deal delivered via Magic Carpet Express [+5] u/zoeyzimp: Tomorrows pre market will be super red again imo hahah [+5] u/kazkeb: The year is 2036, and SPY has just gone 3 days in a row without moving 1%+ for the first time in 10 years [+5] u/Queasy_Soil9646: Going to work for the govt for insider trading benefits [+5] u/Bunz242321: There’s gotta be algo’s watching my every move. The moment I buy shit drops. The moment I sell it rockets. The days I don’t do shit bc I expect to buy then for it to drop, it rockets. Can someone for gods sakes tell algos to stop worrying about my chump change trades tf Thanks. [+5] u/trumpdiego: ##shortly after inauguration: "OK you can rig the market and nobody will investigate you, but only in a way that helps me look good and you have to go along with whatever shit i say no matter how crazy it is." [+5] u/NaiveMercury: By tomorrow the strait's gonna be more open than your mom's legs last night [+5] u/zestykite: Don't be a panic-an. We will bring peace. WITH ANY DESTRUCTIVE MEANS NECESSARY [+5] u/Bizonistic: I miss sleepy Joe's boring market when line only goes up [+5] u/ThatGuyDan123: So US learns Russia giving intel to Iran then suddenly Ukraine blows up large Russian oil port. Seems like theres no correlation carry on [+5] u/dUjOUR88: why are quants paid so much when algos are literally just if Trump tweets good thing, pump if Trump tweets bad thing, dump [+5] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: More strikes in Lebanon after hours. People on the ground say no change in Middle East [+5] u/EyeSea7923: See you at 700. Wars over again, and may be on Thursday again too [+5] u/Frozen_Shades: Strait of Hormuz had a guys night with Trevor and now wants to be referred to as the Bi of Hormuz. [+5] u/Capt_Chickenpox: If oil could just jump 7% i might actually recover [+5] u/New-Length5593: Sir you have been negotiating with Siri not Iran. Calls on AAPL. [+5] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: Oil just going to keep creeping up, strait’s still closed numbnuts [+5] u/100xOrBust: Well personally I had a really terrible trading day and have an unnerving feeling about the rest of the week. Guess I’ll take the 8% hit to the port and stay away till next week [+5] u/Sea_Trip_8941: Whoever held Spx calls over the weekend and got blessed with 🥭 taco sweet is so lucky [+5] u/VellyJanta: Bet he’s gonna double down on threats tomorrow lol I’m biased with my $650 3/27ps and VIX calls [+5] u/jawndell: At the weekly review meeting at work today a bunch of people with Indian and British accents who never ever speak said stuff like: “at current levels it is unsuitable” and “if we plan to $130 price, our models are unsustainable” When it came to oil prices.   That’s when I knew Trump has to find a way out of this mess or corporate goons going to make him pay. [+5] u/Own-Kaleidoscope-731: nvda cant even get to 180 no more lol, now range is 170-180, 160 here we come [+5] u/tabrizzi: To say that the last 15 hours have been interesting has got to be an understatement. I may have to go and see a whiplash doctor. [+5] u/Girth-Brooks_: Ber pray for international destruction so they can make $6 [+5] u/isc1200s: When Mr. Peace offering flips and does the complete opposite of all that bullshit he was talking about today remember this moment. [+5] u/shortitforever: That close was not bullisk [+32] u/Mr-Bonnet: BLOOMBERG TODAY: "STOCKS ARE RALLYING OIL IS DOWN AS THE WAR WITH IRAN DEESCALATES" BLOOMBERG TOMORROW: " OIL IS RALLYING STOCKS ARE DOWN AS THE WAR WITH IRAN ESCALATES" [+31] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: 🌮 can say what he wants Here’s what we know: 1) The Strait of Hormuz is closed 2) Iran has no incentive to reopen it without massive concessions by the US / Israel 3) The US continues to deploy thousands of troops to the Middle East to potentially support ground ops in Iran [+22] u/Piano_Professional: He’s so fucking retarded [+22] u/Soffatjockis: Iran stating that they have plans to bomb Israel during the night and that they have no intention of negotiating, and the hormuz is still closed. But hey, at least mangos friends made some money today. Fucking untradeable manipulated shit. [+21] u/yushey__: I’m done buying massive positions of options. I can’t sleep at night. Profited today but couldn’t sleep at all from the stress. [+20] u/Pentaminymum: trump chatting with the fake iranian down the street, calls it "negotiating with a respectable leader" [+20] u/NoBuyers: As an oil bull, I think I aged 20 years today. [+20] u/burtburtburtcg: Imagine posting a tweet from the toilet only to have Iran fact check you like 8 minutes after you faked washing your hands… [+19] u/SupramanE89: Some Asian professor online is convincing me this is an undercover religious war to set off some biblical shii. wtf is going on here. [+19] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: The IRGC reiterates the “deceitful” behaviour and they will not make Iran “neglect the war front and the battle with the adversary, because the enemy’s psychological operations have become apparent. Doesnt seems like they are ready to sit and drink coffee with 🥭 yet.. [+19] u/UnivalveX: - "war is almost over" - "discussions going well" - "we need help from nato" - "we don't need help from anyone" - "im considered winding down operations" - "dispatching more troops" [+19] u/Logical-Clerk-1571: We are having a good conversation with mods, they called me and asked to make a deal. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER. [+17] u/HandsOnTheBible: [Israel PM just said they're going to invade south Lebanon](https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/israeli-minister-calls-annexation-southern-lebanon-2026-03-23/) Sure sounds like the end of a war doesn't it [+17] u/Academic_Banana_5659: Microsoft +0.005% The stuff retirements are made of. [+17] u/dbgtboi: Management just added an AI usage leaderboard at work These mfers have no idea what they have just unleashed Instead of doing my job, I'm now building a token burner just to beat out all these other bitches who think they can top my usage Have fun spending $1000s a day for literally nothing [+16] u/LongCucumber3710: I miss living in precedented times [+16] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: Monday, Tuesday - Green Wednesday - Flat Thursday - small red Friday - Red. Why does this time line seems so familiar.. oh right.. because it has been repeating ALL March weeks. [+15] u/Top_Cranberry_3254: Despite Taco's "claim" they are close to a deal (which includes other comments like he doesn't even know who is running Iran and he is the one who will be controlling the Strait of Hormuz if the deal goes through (lol)), Iran says they "have special plans for him and Israel tonight" and just launched missiles into Israel... Bulls have been trapped again by Taco's manipulation \*when he's scared Index is falling too fast.. [+15] u/ev01ution: Another day another margin call avoided. [+14] u/Cav829: Today's market was like watching the two stupidest kids you know play a game of chicken with one another. [+14] u/fruitloop00001: How many times can the war end before it's over? 30? 50? [+14] u/Comprehensive_Tea388: Operation Epstein Fury paused so American gas prices and inflation can calm the fuck down. Will resume regular shelling Friday at 430pm EST. [+14] u/TaxFraudCPA: Today was the pump, tomorrow is the dump. [+14] u/Key_Journalist_3698: So that polymarket account that put a massive bet on right before the war. Definitely insider trading. Just put another bet on for a ceasefire by March 31 [+13] u/epyonxero: fyi the marines will be there friday, probably after close [+13] u/twenty_three_three: yo, remember when the USA built stuff other than $4mil missiles that miss their $10k drone targets 20% of the time? [+13] u/Neel_Crashkari: This is Pam Bondi's DOW [+13] u/avdvetf: Does mango really think he can out fake negotiate persians? Has he ever met a persian? [+12] u/fyizdp: Risking 4k to make $200 = priceless [+12] u/TheGodDavidLoPan: Bro just dig a new strait going the other way [+12] u/DrElkSnout: (punches you in the face): "Why are you mad? I'm not hitting you!" (punches you in the face again as people video it): "I'm not hitting you! Stop fighting me!" (kicks you in the stomach while you're down): "See, we're friends again. This is awesome." \~US Government, probably [+12] u/Due-Information-6277: I’m buying the oil dip as long as strait is closed oil go up. [+12] u/Leather_Mention5916: BREAKING: Joe - minesweeper - Biden spotted in the strait in a rowing boat making it safe for tankers. Calls [+12] u/Cockballzz: I need more sex to forget about my trading losses [+11] u/Mr-Bonnet: MODS DELETING COMMENTS IN A POLITICALLY DRIVEN MARKET [+11] u/TechnologyEven6926: “US officials tell The Post they no longer believe it is possible to achieve the war's original goals of overthrowing the Iranian regime and putting its nuclear program permanently out of reach, per WaPo” [+11] u/SearchUsual5193: 5 DAYS BREAK ONLY TO FK YOU HARDER NEXT WEEKEND. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! [+11] u/rollinhating: tomorrow he will probobly say " I didnt like Irans attitude, so we gonna take their oil.." Market dumps 4% Wednesday " We took their oil, and they dont want to fight no more, they basiclly gave it to us to stop us bombing them " Market pumps 8% [+11] u/mayorolivia: I AM PLEASE TO ANNOUNCE WE HAVE A CONCEPT OF AN AGREEMENT WITH IRAN WITCH WE HAVE NEGOTIATED OVER THE PAST 48 HOURS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER. DJT. [+11] u/f0xinaround: That's the club bro. That ain't us [+10] u/ProudPeak3570: Imagine showing up to work and doing work while not getting paid and watching people who are not doing work get paid for the work they not doing [+10] u/MoistAbuelita: Who all is retiring after this rebound to ATH 🙋‍♂️ [+10] u/S0Anon: Bulls ports saved by fairytales and lies [+10] u/looool_k_libtard: Pretty funny that people pay for investing support/feedback when 85% of the market movement depends on an orange man saying shit from his phone [+10] u/NotMe357: "US officials tell The Post they no longer believe it is possible to achieve the war's original goals of overthrowing the Iranian regime and putting its nuclear program permanently out of reach, per WaPo" [+10] u/DeviantDougy: Think 🥭is at that stage in his life where he just forgets what he’s doing. Like he probably thinks this is like a month ago and ayatollah is still the supreme leader and their negotiating [+10] u/Majestic-Bass6772: just in time for 🌮tuesday [+10] u/ConstantSpace5809: Peaceful negotiation explosions in Tehran now [+10] u/yyn1999: Tomorrow this Fake PUMP will get sold off [+9] u/jameskwonlee: The deluxe chocolate chunk cookie from starbucks gave me the diabetes [+9] u/slimeystevebob: 🥭 will be a trillionaire by the time he croaks. [+9] u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister: I can't trade like this (I can't trade in a normal market either) [+9] u/Logical-Clerk-1571: calls on crayons, marines are on their way to take kharg [+9] u/Emotional-Bag1398: Trump went and got schwarma and thought he was negotiating with Iran [+9] u/Upstairs-Bonus3987: Tomorrow I wait till the last 15-20min before close and gamble on 0dte like a degenerate. [+9] u/abroadbroadband: He said, "OPEN IT UP IN 48 HOURS, I'M WARNING YOU PAL!!!" Followed by, "SIKE, YOU THOUGHT!!!" [+9] u/stupidber: If you "EDC" anything, you are gey [+9] u/PopularCut4124: So it was all fake? Trump is keyser Sosa [+9] u/Comprehensive-Eye547: Iran doesn’t trust usa …. NO SHIT [+9] u/Roygbiv-Turtle-98: If market goes downs, its retarded? therefore, it has *retard strength* *therefore, calls.* thats it. i did it. i figured it out. [+9] u/blemdemman: used to get mad at my pops for playing scratchers…if he’d see me now, smh [+9] u/Rude_Assistance_4386: Soo Iran can launch missiles 4 thousand km but not a single other Gulf State can launch oil barrels over this tiny Strait? Build a couple trebuchets and a giant net for gods sake [+9] u/twostroke1: I can’t wait til this war shit is over and we can move onto bigger and better things like the softening economy, rise in unemployment, housing market rolling over, and astronomical rise in consumer debt. [+8] u/solidsneeze: 🥭 saw its shadow today... 6 more weeks of war [+8] u/Everyday_gilbert: ARE YOU ENTERTAINED? [+8] u/lax_street: Treasury is insolvent [+8] u/zarfidemha: UAE has declared 1 month of mourning on the passing of the OnlyFans founder [+8] u/Club-Loud: On this doll, show me where the Market Men touched you today 👨‍⚕️👉🧸 [+8] u/Appropriate_Ice_7507: My MU calls are so fucking dead! Like every fucking stock popped and this motherfucker keeps dipping fuck me and my sore ass [+8] u/TheWizardOfFries: It's not unlikely that this is the highest SPY will be for quite some time. One last dance with 660+ [+8] u/mikeytho1: Thursday postmarket I said just buy SNDK and log off your brokerage account. It's had 2 straight red days since. Basically just inverse me and you'll be ordering your custom Lambo real quick [+8] u/Free-Championship828: What an obvious market manipulation man like this shit isn’t even fun when you do that. Glad I stopped taking risks after I had huge wins in 2024 and 2025. [+8] u/SearchUsual5193: I think everyone knew that TACO for the powerplant threats. [+8] u/abroadbroadband: Brb gonna go open the Strait myself, you just gotta jiggle it 😳 [+8] u/Pale-Silver-8178: More lies tmr bers prepare [+8] u/WarmCan3034: If I’m up 6k this month and lost 1k today 😡, can I still be mad 😡😡😡😡 [+8] u/Vegetable-Crazy: Sorry bers, I just decided to become a gay ber and bought put on last Friday … now I am putting fries in the bag on Monday😒😭 [+8] u/DrElkSnout: You must be young, thinking so little money matters that much. It's important, don't get me wrong, but i promise you $18K is basically nothing. No offense, but it's just not a big deal. Smile and move on. Cheap lesson in the scheme of things. [+8] u/DrElkSnout: Me: "I have this idea that we should come to a conceptual agreement that my account should more closely reflect an amount not less than twenty five million dollars." Bank Manager: "Get the fuck out." Me to reporter: "It's going great. The agreement is in place, and we're working toward a better future together. For now we've agreed to revisit this topic another day." \~US Government, probably. [+7] u/VincenteThomp: He’s definitely invading Iran once his little ceasefire ends in a few days. [+7] u/Lastchoicename: The owner of onlyfans died. [+7] u/jonneh: When I see the clip of this mfer talking about “negotiations” while in Memphis earlier today, it’s clear he’s fucking lying man 🤣🤣 # > “We are now having really good discussions. They started… last night.. anddd uhhh I think they’re very good.” [+7] u/Ok_Upstairs3431: Sooo USA says: it's going to be over soon we are in talks. Iran says: We are not talking to them dont touch our engery stuff. Israel says: We do not see a soon end to this. [+7] u/JernauG: Donnys swing trading the federal reserve back into the green 😎 [+7] u/Snowman33001: Last year, I had high hopes for my portfolio. This year, I’d be happy to beat inflation. [+7] u/jerm2z: Sometimes the obvious play is too obvious and you have to inverse yourself. Sometimes the obvious play is just obviously the correct play that you should do it. I know this helps absolutely no one; I just wanted to make a long post and sound smart. [+7] u/Ok_Cry7572: Guys I think I was born to lose. Not everyone wins in life [+7] u/Iamjacksplasmid: At least it's cool that when aliens dig up our server farms and teach our history to their kids as a warning, they'll be like, "the point of no return was The Battle of Kharg". Like, Kharg is a cool sci-fi name. Alien wsb will be like, "cloacas out for Kharg!" [+7] u/orangeyougladiator: People really think bear markets are just instant 20% drops then growth again. This is what a bear market usually looks like. [+7] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: UN Security Council weighs resolution on use of force in Strait of Hormuz.. Oh fuck.. that means WW3.. if you back Iran into the corner.. what makes you think they wont send swarms of drones towards the straights leaving your boats as sitting ducks? Which idiotic country proposed this shit again? [+7] u/WendyDumpsterFire: ADBE sucks ass fucking hate this shitty ass stock [+7] u/Few_Egg3567: 🥭 attacked Iran because he was bored and it sounded cool and exciting. Now he's bored of the war and wants stonks to go back up. Nothing more nothing less. [+7] u/Maleficent-Couple-76: What the hell is this market [+7] u/Ok_Material3073: Are people this dumb? The liar lied about the war being over, and you think there is going to be a rebound. Iran has an insane leader whose entire family was killed by the US and who was almost killed himself. Ukraine just blew up Russians port to export gas... NOT LOOKING GOOD. [+7] u/Logical-Clerk-1571: in one of the universes, taco didn't tacoed, and we hit circuit breakers. [+7] u/Comprehensive-Eye547: Whos gonna apologize and pay iran back [+6] u/Rare-ish_Birb: The fact that oil dropped 8% and the strait is still essentially closed, tells you how much of the run up was just oil regards speculating, rather than commodities experts investing. [+6] u/Gold_Stand_9596: Lost money? Skill issue [+6] u/cryptohorn: Days like today render watching CNBC or Bloomberg being useless [+6] u/Frosty_Promise8050: Gross manipulation on display. Well, take your profits, it won't take much for us to return to our regular scheduled drilling. [+6] u/heavycone_12: Your laughing. The only fans owner died today and your laughing [+6] u/scoh-chan: Glad my shambles are not in shambles today [+6] u/Far-Requirement9180: wtf is this, a fucking kangaroo market for ants ? [+6] u/bossasupernova: I heard Michael Burry had a sticky short squeeze, ligma, nofap abortion with plunge protection team as the priest while he did cocaine off a hookers big toe, ate a ghost pepper, drink choccy milk, read a k8 and lost it all. !guh sell sell sell sell . Did he also watch 2 dark magician girls 1 pot of greed? A Bus driver does not give good financial advice. I need to pivot out of my position soon. Selling puts through Hairy putter's school of Hogwarts for witchcraft and wizardry. Ricky Ricky Ricky Ricky Ricky Ricky Ricky Ricky. Guh! [+6] u/xsystxsyst: EVIL WILL ALWAYS OVERCOME GOOD - NET‘N YAHOO [+6] u/DrElkSnout: This market is like a guy who's so busted even his dentures are missing teeth. [+6] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: market is going to puke if the strait of Hormuz isnt open by **6:44pm CDT** [+6] u/Thisguymoot: Just overheard my 5yr old arguing with Siri and she immediately switched to just blowing smoke. Starting to think that comment was right about 🥭 negotiating this deal with a chatbot [+6] u/cbusoh66: WTF Spacebros, give us a heads up when there's a big event like this 🌖 NASA meeting tomorrow... [+6] u/Roygbiv-Turtle-98: Some think we're bullish Some think we're bearish Depends if you're long calls or puts, also when you bought, and what strike and expiration... *See how easy trading is?* You just have to get ALL those things right...and you're good! [+6] u/Icommandyou: Futures probably open red since ground invasion is a certainty [+6] u/Majestic-Bass6772: where does this 🌮rank all time? [+6] u/Far-Requirement9180: <*Mustache_Spanish_guy_Meme_Laughing*> [+6] u/PositiveToe2761: Now seems like an appropriate time to start drinking [+6] u/WayDry848: When do marines get there exactly? [+6] u/Academic_Lock_1699: I'm glad if I don't have to see marines get torn to pieces on r/combatfootage by mortars dropped from 3d printed DIY drones. These war hungry old fucks got no idea of modern combat 🤦‍♂️ [+5] u/diefy7321: Bers shorting this will end up sucking on a string cheese stick for dinner lmfaoooo [+5] u/GuyFieriFrostedTips: 🥭 would never do it but imagine if we literally just put down arms and left tomorrow. The market would go bananas. [+5] u/Illustrious-Low4128: 1500 of puts at close again why not [+5] u/Ok_Cry7572: In 2025 before the "Liberation Day" crash it closed above the 200 DMA on March 24 and 25. Now in 2026, we could do the same thing on the same dates [+5] u/ImLemonized: Fellas, I have come to a brutal conclusion that I am in fact, absolutely regarded [+5] u/drakilian: "I'll have.... a scam pump Monday and maybe Tuesday based on vibes and lies" Mhmm "And a dump followed by a week of dumping along with a fake deadline after everyone realizes nothing has changed" Daring today aren't we? [+5] u/Successful-Pass-568: Credit spreads printing for me. Sold my calls this morning and opened $665 credit spreads at the peak [+5] u/TokiAsuma: Fuck I got too greedy. I was up 40k on my puts but ended up -48k cause my greedy ass thought spy was gonna keep dumping. Withdrew some money and now with my final 5.5k whatever happens, happens. If I lose it then so be it, I’m gonna quit trading and go back to school to study to be a pilot. [+5] u/DrElkSnout: fucking slept in late today and missed a swing trade on NEM that could have made me $50K. lol oh well. [+5] u/babyd42: So if it's not over 50k they go to jail right [+5] u/Complex-Note-5274: With hover crafts there wont be any boots on the ground [+5] u/FullCopy: Kirk Lazarus, now introduced as a financial strategist, going full thought-leadership on Bloomberg: “On days like this, in times like these… my message to clients is simple: never go full retard.” Romain pauses, clearly thinking “not this shit again”. Alix Steel holds the smile, but her eyes say “I am absolutely not getting fired over this segment.” Kirk adjusts his tie like he just dropped a rate forecast: “Markets are emotional. You need discipline. You need a framework… and most importantly, a story strong enough to help you sleep at night.” [+5] u/FinePerformance1046: I’ve gotten over my losses from last night quite quickly let’s hope I don’t do it again [+5] u/bemeandnotyou: "Iran" we monitor your portfolio 🥭' say less kings, no more attacks. [+5] u/Most-Crazy2353: What a disgusting day and its only Monday. Get me out [+5] u/ConsiderationKey1658: It was looking like a plain spaghetti kinda night but now I can afford that sauce 🤑🤌🏻 [+5] u/rd26: Premiums are ridiculous for weeklies. Sellers are salivating on these prints. Going in to tomorrow cash. GLA. [+5] u/solidsneeze: when does the simulation end? [+5] u/SlfImpr: Bro, this thread is for your moves tomorrow. But we still have several hours of whiplash left in the afterhours market! [+5] u/bobbyknight102: 665 tomorrow once euros buy [+5] u/neutralpoliticsbot: loaded up on calls because I am not a silly bear [+5] u/sftheory: Reddit auto moderator flagged me for talking about how I just smashed an entire bag of Doritos. [+5] u/ismebbb: Rejecting off the 200 MA is as bearish a technical as it can get [+5] u/Snoo-90587: I’m just glad the war is over and we can all start focusing on bringing freedom to Cuba [+5] u/burtburtburtcg: I actually prefer the monkey to have a gun [+5] u/spez_eats_nazi_ass: You started off smart and then immediately went to eating the lead paint chips. [+5] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: Because it's against the subs rules to use his name directly [+5] u/TreeofLibertyFood: Kid: “Dad, what’s the stock market?” Dad: “Well, it’s when a Supervisor and a fry cook at Wendy’s get to swap uniforms multiple times a day.” Kid: “That sounds regarded.” Dad: “It is, son. It is.” [+5] u/jlw993: Have you said this for the past 3 Mondays too? How'd that turn out? [+26] u/ToonamiNights: Ukraine just struck Russia's largest oil port, further straining global oil. The US is sending their 82nd airborne to Kharg Island. This ceasefire is just one last pump and dump before it crashes. [+23] u/SomePolack: Honestly the manipulation/insider trading is the biggest red flag to me  Feels like middle class being setup as bagholders when this falls apart [+22] u/Low_Plastic363: When mango announces talks that are not actually happening, it's his way of telling the other side to call him. Often, they don't. His ego doesn't allow him to make the first move, so he says publicly that "X has been calling!" "Y is begging for a deal!" "We'll have dozens of deals done" and those are all code for "Please call me" "I'm ready to make a deal" and "You'll be rewarded if you get in early and make a deal." [+21] u/nolanjp: so mango claimed that he won the war, is currently winning the war, needs help to win the war, needs no help to win the war, and it wasn't a war, just an excursion. Also he obliterated 100% of Iran's military, and now needs $200 billion to destroy the remaining 0%. Calls. [+21] u/14BrewMan: They did it, mined the strait. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/strait-of-hormuz-mines-iran-talks-officials/ [+21] u/coreyneil: "It's possible that we are in a completely fraudulent system" [+20] u/hdk029: My lord Baron Harkonnen, the Iranians have shut down all spice production. [+19] u/UnDemen: USA: OPEN THE STRAIT OR YOU WILL FEEL THE FULL FORCE OF THE US MIGHT! FIRE AND FURY! Iran: No. USA: Well, ok then, what about next week? [+18] u/Funk-masta-frek: Iran announcing not only will they build more missiles but are now seeking nuclear bombs, masterful gambit sir. [+17] u/Right-Departure-8881: Let’s announce end of war again tomorrow I think we keep doing it until spy 700 wonder how many times until it stops working [+16] u/tika_dengu: Hope the kharg landing is televised and takes place during trading hours [+16] u/Dry_Slip_1640: “CNBC’s Jim Cramer cautioned investors that Monday’s stock market rebound, sparked by optimism over a potential end to the U.S.-Iran war, might be short-lived.” Guys, load the calls, bottom’s in [+16] u/Overall-Fold-9720: >BREAKING : Iran says '77th wave' of strikes underway on Israel, US military bases in the Gulf >BREAKING: "They want, very much, to make a deal. We'd like to make a deal, too. We're going to get together today. Make it make sense [+15] u/UnDemen: so apparently there are bombs flying all over the middle east now, who did orange talk to? [+14] u/Mobile_Collection646: i’m starting to think iran is winning this war [+14] u/financiallythriving: Imagine going into a pile of debt because you tried to trade options [+13] u/CMDR_Shepard96: I mean, shits green but.. my port isn't exactly healthy.. [+13] u/exhibit304: White House considers Iran parliament speaker as potential US backed leader - Politico Isn't he the guy who taunts the USA on X? [+13] u/Material_Formal3679: Just found out a kid who I grew up with is getting shipped to Kharg right now. Unironically lame as fuck. [+13] u/necarpenter417: What happens if 🥭 gets confused and starts bombing Israel? [+12] u/greyenlightenment: lol I lost everything. Lost all I have. I never felt this broken. [+12] u/orrangearrow: Right now, the best stock advice in the world is being given to Florida boomers on golf carts who just happen to pass by mango man at MaraLago [+12] u/met_art: After a failed fake threat attempt 🌮 announced non-existent talks with Iran, so insiders can make money. Iran basically said - we don’t know who you are negotiation with but it’s not us [+12] u/met_art: > Traders made bets worth half a billion dollars in the oil market about 15 minutes before Donald Trump’s post touting “productive” talks with Iran sent the price of crude tumbling and ignited volatility in other assets. If you were doubting that market is being manipulated. [+12] u/Garbage-Disposal-938: first create a harsh 48 hour ultimatum. now give them a 5 day hold period to make them relax. then carry out a sneak attack guaranteed to bring them to their knees. right? isn't that the kind of tactic he's tried to use over and over? [+12] u/Temporary-Alarm-744: It’s paradise that’s why Rubio is mad his family got kicked out. He wishes he was there getting cracked like a coconut by Cuban twinks [+11] u/Wowmuchrya: "We're negotiating with the TOP people in Iran right now, but we can't name them." Potentially the most retarded timeline that could ever exist [+11] u/rocier: I swear I'm a perma bull usually, but I dont see the upside here. Even if world peace were declared tomorrow and every threat eliminated, the market is overvalued. Best rational case is chop until earnings catch up. And thats if the economy doesn't tank any more which its on the cusp of WITHOUT any of this. Thats absolute needle threading best case scenario. Buying here is full retard. I'm cash gang [+10] u/Trader0721: Went from about $200k up to about 100k down on that tweet…battled back to down 40…long fucking day…I need a drink [+10] u/claytondpark: https://finance.yahoo.com/news/trump-began-iran-talks-allies-170932532.html: "Donald Trump’s decision to back down from his threat to destroy Iran’s power infrastructure came after US allies and Gulf countries privately warned the president of the dangers of following through with his threat, according to people familiar with the matter... ... But Trump’s decision came after some allies cautioned that the war was quickly becoming a disaster. Regional partners told the US that permanent damage to Iranian infrastructure would almost inevitably result in a failed state after the conflict ended, according to the people, who described private conversations on the condition of anonymity. Pulling back also dovetailed with another interest of the president’s: calming markets rattled by his threats and the ongoing conflict. Trump’s decision, which was announced shortly before US trading began, was designed in part to address those concerns, according to the people, and immediately spurred a sharp fall in Brent crude and a rebound in the S&P 500 and US Treasuries." Sheesh imagine ruining other countries like it's one of his shitty businesses 😐😐😐 [+10] u/TraipseTraveller: Sigh. The high schooler perma bulls from India have arrived. See you all tomorrow [+10] u/yaboyay: “The war will be done in a week”, “It will only take 3-4 weeks”, “We won”, “We need $200B for the war”, “We are in peace talks with Iran, but we still need the money for reasons”. Buckle up y’all, this shit’s lasting a few more months at least. Either that or the $200B was for crab legs LOL. [+10] u/Only-Cranberry-4502: I have never abused a substance, I cherished all like of them [+10] u/Cullen8228: “It’s a big club, and you ain’t in it.” - George Carlin [+9] u/Top-Meaning2626: Breaking: APOLLO PRIVATE CREDIT FUND TAKES USES RETAIL INVETORS MOUTHS AS TOILET AND SHITS DOWN THEIR NECKS [+9] u/cocacolakid1965: Sell now, buy on Friday after Trump announces the “talks” with Iran didn’t work and he will gives them72 hours to accede to his demands or he will bomb their energy infrastructure [+9] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: upvote if you got rugged hard today [+9] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: America is desperate as fuck to get Iran to the table for negotiations lol “US delegation coming to Pakistan 'in a day or 2’ for possible talks but Iran ‘still not ready' due to mistrust, Pakistani Foreign Ministry sources tell Anadolu” [+9] u/LengthObjective2253: I like how in the morning Iran came out to say “no we ain’t” and sold off the gains quick. Hope this old fart gets probed after his term for all the insider shit [+9] u/Thotmas01: We’re gonna rebuild Persia and reinstate Zoroastrianism in the Middle East to make everyone get along. Persia shall export rugs, saffron, opioids, and a strange speciality in microbiology to the wider world. It will be great. Everyone will be rich(as long as you buy after the crash). [+9] u/cryptopolymath: 🥭: Hormuz may be jointly controlled by “me and the Ayatollah. Whoever the Ayatollah is”. You can’t make this stuff up. [+9] u/Heavenisaplace176: I can’t be a bear cause Donald cares about the stock market too much and I can’t be a bull cause I don’t feel comfortable so just going to continue being a retard [+8] u/SomePolack: Real shit, Ukraine-style Fpv drone video strikes on U.S. troops would mentally break the American public  Iran really has all the cards right now [+8] u/cow_grass: Who tf is selling Brent crude anyways? I sure know it aint middle eastern countries. So the who the hell is selling for there to be a market. [+8] u/Tay_Tay86: #THERE IS NO TWEET BUT I BET YOUR HEART JUMPED BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO THIS MARKET #LMAO 🤌 [+8] u/Specialist-Sun-4751: Silver gonna come back [+8] u/TraipseTraveller: There's a 100% chance that Cathie Woods in on this sub [+8] u/Fantastic_Pirate3948: Looking at my portfolio, the results are in, I’m retarded. [+8] u/happy_accountant123: Refreshing Al Jazeera live page has become a drug for me. A month ago I didn’t even know what that site was. [+8] u/Automatic-Mountain45: How is anyone still believing anything that comes out of this guy's mouth ?? If it ain't coming out of the Iranian's mouth, it ain't real. [+8] u/Basis_404_: When the CEO of Chevron comes out and says he doesn’t think the current price of oil reflects the actual physical reality of the constraint on supply that tells you a lot [+8] u/Impressive-Mud-3362: I feel like Mango got setup to go into this war, dude can't handle the market reaction. Even some big analysts are openly calling this deception. [+8] u/ajibtunes: BREAKING: The ‘r-word’ is seeing a resurgence, per Toronto Star. [+8] u/Dry_Slip_1640: We killed the leadership but now negotiating with them.. like bruh..this seems like a parody of a war [+8] u/Automatic-Mountain45: the market realized he was lying and nothing changed since last week. [+7] u/14BrewMan: Allegedly they actually did mine the Strait...fuck. [+7] u/DismalCreme4680: Oil prices went down right before he posted btw, the corruption [+7] u/spaurake: 🎵Cause I have thirty thousand dollars in credit card debt When they call, I tell them I can't pay it back yet (Credit card debt) Tomorrow, I may buy myself a dining room set Or this Boba Fett Credit card debt, credit card debt Credit card debt🎵 [+7] u/Historical_Bother274: Bulls celebrating Thursday prices is peak comedy [+7] u/Moepenmoes: The amphibious assault ship USS Tripoli, the amphibious landing dock USS New Orleans, and roughly 2,200 Marines from the 31st MEU will arrive in the Middle East on Friday -WSJ Remember to pull out of the market before upcoming weekend... [+7] u/Ok_Persimmon9849: The war, AI bubble, housing crisis or inflation could have each caused a recession on their own. This market should have crashed in November, and has been riding a wave of unearned euphoria since then. The bols think it will go forever (this time is different, yes we know), but once one domino falls it is crashing down HARD. The market is pumping multiple percents off of tweets, the desperation is here and we are in the endgame. Get ready for a 50% crash lmao. [+7] u/SnickersTheDog: Joe Rogan is eating a live chimp on his stream right now, to raise money to open the strait. Somehow it's the most logical plan floating around out there. [+7] u/RoccoFb: Fun fact: Heating up your knife in the microwave makes slicing butter easier [+7] u/HolographicHeart: The name of this mysterious Iranian top official?  That's right: I.P Freehly [+7] u/tripstermcgee808: We’ve been trading on the temu version of geopolitical politics for so long I don’t even know what’s normal anymore. [+7] u/SomePolack: Busted my ass on a major deal ended up saving the company 2x my salary  I’ll be lucky to get a 3% raise this year lmao [+7] u/jay4281: 88k swing in an afternoon is enough to make anyone invest in $ROPE [+7] u/Solid-Following-8395: On hookers and coke yes but to pay bills no [+7] u/Loose_Stool_12: Yeah, it's hot as balls out here [+7] u/oldmanballsacks81: That dude literally called out trump today and said it was fake news.. hell no [+7] u/Thotmas01: We gotta wait to see how the current crop of kindergarteners do. The 4th-10th graders right now are effectively a write off. Two years of effectively zero education/socialization during COVID coupled with several years of unchecked AI powered cheating makes salvaging their education a fool’s errand. Some of the the college kids are fucked too. In their case it depends on whether or not they want to learn. [+6] u/ajibtunes: Yo this Iranian parliament speaker has blue eyes and blonde hair wtf [+6] u/Kickboy21: Havent been happy since buying MSFT [+6] u/photosynthescythe: I’m so fucking mad I didn’t buy LUNR at 17.15 last night Would’ve gone from 70k to 91k and be inches from my goal I don’t deserve the 100k fr [+6] u/OsamaBagHolding: On the plus side, microbrewing fad is mostly over. Lottttt of y'all sucked at it [+6] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: Daily reminder that stonks only go up. Regards [+6] u/iThinkiStartedATrend: My fucking tv pops up and asks if it should turn off way too often. it’s a Comedy Central background machine while my attention fried ass doom scrolls. Know your place machine [+6] u/claytondpark: Imagine bagholding csco stock for 26yrs (if u bought the top) and finally breaking even in Jan 2026 😂 [+6] u/HellKnightKilla: OnlyFans CEO died before he could do a viral video of himself enjoying OnlyFans content You know those fuckers take a look at OF databases [+6] u/LiveMotivation: 🥭 sending a plane full of cash to back down Iran. 😂😬 [+6] u/cryptopolymath: $SOFI at 2021 prices 😅 [+6] u/friedbymoonlight: Hey, I just noticed something. Stock market is kind of stressful. [+6] u/GoProVI: I just wanted to be happy… they said investing would be fun [+6] u/Slow-Information-847: 🥭 needs 5 trading days to pump the market so that Barron can off load. [+6] u/Illustrious-Hawk-113: lol no that’s them shaking out retail holders for when they bomb the next facility [+6] u/The_Alan_Greenspan: So many more people recognize the Iranian flag at a glance today compared to a few weeks ago. [+6] u/SomePolack: Starting to seriously consider moving to Poland [+6] u/Confident_Bee1447: Have you heard of the thing called news? [+6] u/jay4281: Margin…. She will be calling soon [+6] u/Fit-Guard-5063: They dropped to 15 bucks a barrel [+5] u/Loose_Hornet4126: Sure would suck to be a bear! When bulls are wrong, we hold bags for a little while. When bears get out in force, they overleverage while bag holding and getter washed out [+5] u/spac420: did bibi approve of this? [+5] u/bluen: What if they named an ai hal 9000 [+5] u/Ok-Piano8789: that'd be a great day for me if i farted and nobody barfed [+5] u/StocksStormTrooper: Most likely green tomorrow 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼 [+5] u/-IQ200: Never wrong, always early strikes again. Had 6590p but cut for a loss. Turned into a banger at the final 15min. I can’t stop winning… just having trouble securing the win. 😬 [+5] u/Lostmymindandmoney: Cinnamon Toast Crunch is the greatest thing on this earth [+5] u/Crazy_Donkies: If you weren't buying USO puts when Trump still has a working cell phone and 75mm followers, I doubt your ability to make decisions as simple as "should I eat food." Did I close these fuckers out today after holding for a week?  You're GOD damn right. [+5] u/TraipseTraveller: You know.. someone in here told me to go eat crayons. So, I did. It's actually pretty good. Each color has its own distinct flavor [+5] u/ChannelGullible7324: 3 min till bears ....but but Iran said there was no talks 😂😂😂 [+5] u/9tacos: Wow he died from cancer of the prick 😔 [+5] u/alfred250: No one thinks anything is over; the market front runs with a de-escalating narrative and a light at the end of the tunnel, not an actual ceasefire. Your puts are cooked. [+5] u/SighRamp: must have small liquidy bumps before each next leg down this was a nice one today to load up no bear market goes straight down every day got to load up before each big rug pull [+5] u/Slightlybadpicks: My buddy is falling for an OF content creator. 😭😭😭 slow down cucky boy [+5] u/Montyprice7206: Imagine if Iran will agree to give up everything but only if Obama negotiates it [+5] u/Only-Cranberry-4502: Like yeah this might be the dumbest war this century [+5] u/Putrid_Pollution3455: Feeling cute, might cover myself in coconut oil and jork it a little. This market is fake and ghey, I think I'm just going to milk that sweet yield on short term treasuries and laugh at the boomers buying TLT. [+5] u/No_Current3675: You guys think the cuntrag has any hope of understanding how bad he done fucked up? [+5] u/ChannelGullible7324: Headline soon....India weegovy is making peoples dicks fly off ....hims to 50+ [+5] u/Eddyrancid: Another night, another feeling that tomorrow really is *THE* drop [+5] u/astromouse2024: ‘Moves for tomorrow’ full port puts because I don’t trust any of this other than just testing lower highs. [+5] u/Sam_Vicious2: WSB still bearish? We pumping tomorrow [+5] u/Low_Plastic363: Well that was a fun "put buster" bullshit nothingburger headline today. Back to the bleed... [+5] u/caliwillbemine: Lmao look at the SPY volume AFTER the bell. [+5] u/tinim9: "Orange man suggests Strait of Hormuz **may** stay closed during peace talks with Iran in coming days." Hahaha, it's not **may**, it **will** stay closed. Don't mess with Persians. [+5] u/TheWokenessInjector: Another negative dxy day and another gold thrashing. I need to remember for WW4 to short gold. [+5] u/tandoori_taco_cat: Maybe I should buy some more gold [+5] u/bruhhzilla: Meet me at the back I'll show you my kharg [+5] u/Loose_Stool_12: Someone tell 🥭 100 years ago some guy invented the dingleberry comb to see if that inspires new national policy. [+5] u/Trashpanda7193: Lmao it’s “fake news” 🤌 [+5] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: Those 6610p’s fucking printed. [+5] u/AbrocomaNegative825: What do i look like? Some kinda schmuck? Not trading any of this garbage. Omw to get a pizza, now thats something worth buying [+5] u/Gristle__McThornbody: The administrations plan for Peace in the Middle East is shallow and pedantic. [+5] u/Yogurt_Up_My_Nose: so tonight is the 48 hours right? think 🥭 will actually do anything or just pretend he never made that threat? [+5] u/tesseramous: Nowhere is more money lost here than between 3:45PM and 4:00PM each day am I right? [+5] u/derprondo: Don’t let the taco trade distract you from ice being deployed to airports. They’re going to force airports to adopt private security instead, it’s part of project 2025 even. So what related companies are we buying calls on? Most of what I can find are private companies. From Project 2025: >TSA could privatize the screening function by expanding the current Screening Partnership Program (SPP) to all airports. [+5] u/jay4281: Yeah but they happen so rarely you wouldn’t notice it until after the fact. The volume pump at 6:50 this morning would have seemed like nothing if it weren’t for the massive movement right after [+5] u/auroraavm: k, I see all red though [+23] u/Due-Dirt-8428: I tell my boss I am going to do 10 days worth of work in 4 hours. I’m fired. I tell my wife I’m going to lose 30lbs in 5 days. She leaves me. I tell you guys I’m going to make 40 years worth of income in one day. You support me. Real family [+17] u/Visua1Mod: Imagine actually believing there are peace talks. [+16] u/OkRecommendation1040: Can yall stop exposing my $1.5 billion futures trade this morning. I placed that trade fair and square [+16] u/shakazuluwithanoodle: There are no talks, there's going to be a ground invasion once the assets are in place [+15] u/---Right--Tackle---: U.S. went full retard [+14] u/Urzuck: He's probably talking to Kash Patel dressed as an arab thinking he's the supreme leader right now. [+13] u/OptionsandOptions: Somebody called this an investing sub 😆 [+13] u/StonksInvesteur: Iran's reaction to our market manipulation be like: WTF??? Even a violent regime is baffled on what they read [+13] u/No_Cod972: It smells like 2008 in here. [+13] u/Spear_n_Magic_Helmet: Good news: you’ve been invited to join the 1% Bad news: it’s Top 1% Commenters [+13] u/RareGuarantee3532: AI-tanyahu said they will continue bombing while US is looking for a deal. Iran said Lebanon should be part of the peace deal and freed They aint gonna be no deal [+13] u/MrBlueEyedFox: If your a younger guy or gal. Do yourself a favor an just invest using the 3 fund/etf strategy. Large cap(voo), international(vxus) and bonds (bnd - you can skip bonds if you want) or just voo and chill. Then gamble a small portion here. Don't ruin yourself financially. It might not seem like it at first, however this can become a addiction. An can become extremely unhealthy if you don't have it all together. This is gambling. Not investing. Anyways. Fuk ber, buy calls. [+13] u/Spear_n_Magic_Helmet: wife traveling. Ate half a delivery pizza, slid the whole box with the other half in the fridge. Living the dream [+12] u/EatMaTesticles: My biggest fear is that I'll turn $1000 into $100M and Netflix wants to make a movie about it, but then won't because I'm just too ugly. :/ [+12] u/Largeshmarge: The gas in my tank is losing value. Literally! [+12] u/bzl33: > The average monthly new-car payment has reached $774. Ok so people are buying expensive cars then complaining about the cost. [+12] u/LasyKuuga: This is a high coristol market [+12] u/Fearless-Hat-3272: Funny, the automod says sth*t that I have been banned for. [+11] u/Brodieischeese: Went to bed last night feeling like a king, woke up a clown, the inverse will happen tomorrow [+11] u/Distinct_Car7737: Look at you, you are fucking sexy [+11] u/LasyKuuga: They dont know im one tweet away from financial ruin 😔 [+11] u/Yousoldmetohigh: I picked up some 120 USO calls for friday. Guess we'll see if I get ass blasted. [+11] u/Coley44: God I hope we get to hear/see 🥭 "negotiating" with Iran in documentaries in the future. Gotta be so fucking funny [+11] u/sailortyx56: A ‘laundry fire’ made a $13bn warship return from Middle East to USA and be declared out of commission for 12-14 months. Lol [+11] u/Bustcruster: Just be smarter than everyone else? What’s so hard about that. [+11] u/Antique_Cabinet8416: every day that fertilizer, natural gas, and oil are red is just prolonging the pain...this cannot continue [+10] u/Junkingfool: I'm so fuking confused.... [+10] u/beerstearns: If you are struggling with the markets lately something I found that really helped me is substance abuse I hope this helps [+10] u/funkdizzletron: Lots of permabulls coping in here. Shits not looking great and you’re retarded [+10] u/Thoughtful_Tortoise: Well of course he wouldn't just lie, the name of the app is Truth Social for Pete's sake [+10] u/AssociatePrize: I really believe that the government is shorting the oil market. Every Monday since that report of them considering it, gas prices have plummeted without any meaningful change to the situation. [+10] u/Colloquial: Are you new here what the fk? [+9] u/Roxorek: He cant TACO of this one, too much dmg done, Iran wont let him. Markets will keep dumping imo as global energy crisis gets worse week after week [+9] u/mr_stupid_face: Why we up? Besides 🥭 lies. [+9] u/fish_: ok surely now is a good time to go long oil [+9] u/highlanderquestion90: 80% of oil and 80% of lng from the strait goes to Asia. Japan is telling its people they about to be having rolling blackouts, Taiwan with its semi industry heavily relies on LNG and helium. Semiconductorr industry is fuk. 30% of the worlds helium comes out of the strait. Look up all the underreported news of the strait closure on Asia [+9] u/Acceptable_Dirt69: Even the grandmas at the nursing home are talking about the strait [+9] u/Unemployable1593: GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY PENIS [+8] u/Disconn3cted: How long is it going to take those 2500 marines to get there? It feels like they've been traveling forever [+8] u/Quartertipsy: I'm regarded. I have become a perma bear since Iran conflict. [+8] u/sonianevermindX: I WILL END THE WORLD! actually I’m not Spy +22222% [+8] u/kemar7856: Meta is so fucking ass [+8] u/BlitzComet95: 6 inches is enough btw [+8] u/Walking72: It turns out staring at a chart and clenching your core muscles while gritting your teeth does not make a stock go up. [+7] u/sylphvanas: Any bears jizzed in their pants too early last night? [+7] u/gomper: And Irannnn, Iran so far awayyyyheyhey [+7] u/BrotherlyShove791: NIVIDA claiming AGI and the world collectively yawning and shrugging proves it’s an AI bubble. [+7] u/Advanced_Structure21: Anyone else getting the feeling that VIX 25 is the new 15? [+7] u/_RAPTORMAN_: Are there even latinas in Kharg island or is It just a bunch of stinky dudes? [+7] u/Hot-Performancy: We may never see a red day again [+7] u/Elons-Musky-Balls: Just spent 3k on new speakers for my boat. Recession confirmed [+7] u/Acceptable_Dirt69: Bers angrily downvoting [+7] u/Commercial-District1: TIL: Iran has approx 20 ski resorts, with the nicest one in Tehran. [+7] u/ExplosiveDlarrhea69: lol Some salty mfer is literally just refreshing the page and downvoting every single new comment because their position got analed up the butt today. [+7] u/corporalboobs: SPY puts to $654 expiring tomorrow [+7] u/SovietPower777: Feels like this fake pump is going to dump [+7] u/Electrical-Basil8865: Why did I not sell before earnings ? Lost 20k in 3 f’in days [+7] u/NeverDeltaNeutral: Oh man you must be a billionaire being able to use TA with such confidence [+7] u/DCrebuilds: It's your algorithm, stop clicking on them [+6] u/Any_Life_6178: Any WSB correspondents with live news from the front lines?😂🫡 [+6] u/Boston-Bets: CBS News is apparently reporting that the Iranians HAVE confirmed that they did receive a proposal from the US, and are reviewing it, after earlier denying that there were any discussions taking place.... [https://www.iranintl.com/en/liveblog/202603192844#202603235823](https://www.iranintl.com/en/liveblog/202603192844#202603235823) [+6] u/user365735: Israel recently launched a ground invasion in a swath of southern Lebanon and said it was prepared for a prolonged campaign. [+6] u/Quartertipsy: Oh shit bulls are downvoting. This is a serious sell signal. Not kidding [+6] u/Initial_Ad_9250: Installed Tinder this weekend and got like 10 likes but 0 matches. You're not gonna make me pay you cunts. I know they are all bots Puts on MTCH . Fuck you [+6] u/YNeverWAlone: All noise til the marines arrive. I don’t think the next phase in the war is a good idea I’m just saying the next phase cannot be triggered until the marines arrive there. Even if there are negotiations, if a dummy like me can tell they are just stalling, then the Iranians know that as well. [+6] u/yodamelon: This isn't a real investing sub anymore. [+6] u/kerrykingzgo-T: Melania is on Prime T.V... have you seen this? She's the best first lady, Best!! 👌🏻 has sold more documentaries than anyone in history. Spielberg wanted to film it but i told him no... NO!! Amazon is a great company, they provide a lot of jobs, A...LOT.. OF... JOBS!! Jeff Amazon... have you seen his new wife, get a load of that one. I'd bang her, in fact I did, I've already had her, not my type, but Melania!! The greatest first lady we've ever seen, ever!! [+6] u/Professional_Con_007: Today was the most epic day in markets since last week [+6] u/Necessary-Lychee-486: Bulls are so dumb. Stocks should go lower from these levels even if the Iran conflict ends overnight. [+6] u/priced_in_: Corruption gets the better of everyone [+6] u/spurious_elephant: we know it was a cold dead male corpse [+6] u/Houston_swimmer: If you think this is over I’ve got a (bombed out) bridge to sell you on Kharg island [+6] u/BFox1982: I'm sure you can take some [+6] u/Colloquial: I've lost a combined $20k thinking like you [+5] u/ShopWhileHungry: I turn my brain into goldfish mode [+5] u/OptionsandOptions: Sir this is a Wendy’s [+5] u/Shoganai_Hito: wtf is wtf and why always pinned to wsb [+5] u/1foxyboi: Boy have ya lost your mind because I'll help ya find it [+5] u/NewAccount428412: Damn Iran just said they will surrender when MU is 1T marketcap. [+5] u/TonyMontanaIsNice: When you see one cockroach, there are probably more. [+5] u/Throwingdartsmouth: Fight the bounce at your peril. [+5] u/Soossaaaa: India got the pharma game cornered [+5] u/BillyShears2015: I hope this shit pumps all freakin night so I can buy a single put and double my money again. [+5] u/ahx3000: Mr 🍊, you are fired. Thank you for your attention in this matter [+5] u/kemar7856: Microsoft is on a mission to end my portfolio like how much lower is this thing going to go pos [+5] u/UsernameTaken_123: Just negotiated with myself in the mirror, talks are going very well, and I have decided postponing buying more puts for at least 5 days [+5] u/givemethestars000: Ships be playin mine sweeper by the time the strait opens [+5] u/Dependent-Media-1857: already forgot my plays today is this a sign of memory loss [+5] u/CriticalAnybody6686: Yeah fuck this, why invest and trade? “It’s the responsible thing to do when you are young”, yeah when the economy keeps shitting?!? I think it’d be more responsible to do blow off hookers in Cabo at this point [+5] u/FuckleUp: Lucked out my whorehouse in Diego Garcia grand opening today [+5] u/---Right--Tackle---: *Ya’ll got any more of that …scratches neck… war talks goin well pump?* [+5] u/Christiano97: Can this fucking piece of shit Disney stock ever go up [+5] u/Sudden-Smoke-8377: at this point its just better to play the normal casino...this stonk shit changes from one short afternoon nap to another [+5] u/awetfartruinedmylife: What’s the scam today? [+5] u/DonDiabloTheGreat: Dodge Ram or wife. It’s a tough choice. [+5] u/ThisKarmaLimitSucks: You trade future upside in your stock for cash today. In a flat or ber market, where upside is limited, it's a good trade. Next, you're gonna find out about the theta wheel, and how to pick up infinite pennies in front of the steamroller. [+5] u/FinalbossShaggy: my brain is so rotted i can't even tell if this is satire [+18] u/Haboubiii: Iran: Fars agency: The United States and "Israel" targeted energy facilities in Isfahan and Khorramshahr The targets included the gas administration building and a pressure reduction station in Isfahan, as well as a gas pipeline belonging to a power plant in Khorramshahr. These facilities and nearby homes were damaged without any human casualties. Well we're fucked [+16] u/kaapooj: EU, Australia agree to free trade deal --bloomberg [+16] u/DickiesDippinDicks: 🥭: I don’t know want to bomb energy 5 second ago: We bombed their the energy [+15] u/violet_evergarden8: My manager, whos got 23 yoe in the company, just got laid off today. This shit is surreal. [+15] u/Impressive_Fly_4339: He was lying to get gas prices down, there was never any negotiations we are FUCKED 😭 [+13] u/jasperCrow: VALERO PORT ARTHUR REFINERY EXPLOSION REPORTED: 12NEWS One of the largest refineries in the US [+13] u/Scalpaholic: Whoops I posted a Yahoo article but guess it doesn't have the headline in it's top feed anymore: *"Iran Official accuses 🥭  of Trying to rig Stock Market with claim of 'very good' talks"* Guess that official had Puts too 😆 [+12] u/nvidia69420: Gas facilities hit in central Iran rn calls cooked? [+12] u/Antiwhippy: Israelis just attacked Iran's power facilities SMFH. [+12] u/dorkstafarian: Valero refinery (Port Arthur, Texas) spontaneously combusted. [+12] u/junkertin: I'm taking a fkin break. [+11] u/WarenBoffet: My brother has a mental handicap, something close to downs syndrome (chromosome 7 instead of 21). He loves to make posts on facebook to express his emotions. I love him, but his post are not always well formulated. 🥭's Truth posts make my bro's posts look incredibly intelligent. [+10] u/Solid-Season9984: #The best day to sell was yesterday, the second best day to sell is today [+10] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: I don't have any friends, but if I did, I hope they'd be kind of like you guys. [+9] u/jasperCrow: today was mango’s attempt to stop the markets from free falling. Nothing more. It’s up to Iran when the straight will open again. [+9] u/dataCollector42069: When you buy options a month out and consider it a leap 🤌 [+9] u/NlNJANEER: Instructions unclear. Dick now in my own ass [+8] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: “Under the unusual deal, TotalEnergies would forfeit its leases in federal waters for two wind farms, which would have been built off New York and North Carolina. The Justice Dept would then reimburse TotalEnergies $928 million, the amount it paid for the leases during the Biden administration.” In exchange, TotalEnergies would invest that money in oil and gas projects in the United States, including a facility in Texas that would export liquefied natural gas to global markets. The company would also commit to producing more oil in the Gulf of Mexico and said it was developing some additional gas-burning power plants to meet rising electricity demand from data centers.” https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/23/climate/offshore-wind-gas-trump-total.html [+8] u/ZealousidealSector19: Scalped a spy put for $160 today. Now up $99 for year. Was up $1600 last week. Doesn't feel like winning, but guess I'm not losing [+8] u/ImthatRootuser: Realized the losses from SPY and bought some individual stocks. [+8] u/NPIRACKS: Gold: the ultimate risk asset [+8] u/HistorianMuch8963: Man the hardest part of the game really is the psychological part Use 1% of your port. Lose Use 1% of your port. Win but cut your winner short. Use 1% of your port. Lose Get angry Use 45% of your port. Lose [+8] u/Senpai_Slime: So the off ramp is escalating and a permanent occupation of the strait? Cool cool [+8] u/Antiwhippy: Just like your mom's pussy. [+7] u/HowLongCanIMakeACock: Being a fat piece of shit is a choice [+7] u/noicedeb8r: Do the -1.5% thing again spy [+7] u/Vaf67: Are you winning Son? [+7] u/Perfect_Painter_7863: So tomorrow it seems like deep clifford red [+7] u/Solid-Season9984: #FUCK THIS SHIT TO ZERO!!!!! [+7] u/Devastaytah: Oh shit the drill starting early tonight 🩸🩸‼️ [+7] u/wilhelm96: Full reversal Tuesdays. Very much par for the course [+7] u/Excel_Spreadcheeks69: Currently drying my balls with the hand dryer at an on route [+7] u/TheSamWithNoName: "Sir, that's not the cable connecting you to the Matrix. We're pumping your stomach. Stop pulling on it." [+6] u/marrful: No new wars they said [+6] u/housemoneyrocketship: If you believe in orange, I got some bad news for you [+6] u/cannythecat: Is this is a repeat of the last two weeks with the first two days being green and we get rugged toward the end of the week [+6] u/CPA-hole: Hello I’m here to spread fear and misinformation [+6] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Its almost like every other country is giving up on the US and selling their shit after we manipulate our own market and cant do anything ourselves [+6] u/jasperCrow: Imagine the TX refinery explosion is a false flag to draw NATO into the gulf to secure the straight?….🧐No government would do such a thing would they? [+6] u/Paul_Robert_: The what?! Of course WSB is how I hear of this 💀 [+6] u/PhysInstrumentalist: Why tf did I buy puts on PLTR 🤦‍♂️ [+6] u/495N: Life is short. Smile at everyone you meet >!and talk behind their back!< [+6] u/Xczf: Red futes + 🥭 tweet = 3% up so calls it is [+6] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: My fucking eye won't stop twitching. [+6] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: I just want the market to tank or stay flat for like 10 years straight while I maintain a job and then rocket as I get close to retirement like it did for boomers. Is that too much to ask. [+6] u/Detonate-Ralph: Israel just attacked iranian energy infrastructure. Bers won, hope bols enjoyed their exit liquidity chance [+6] u/1M-to-Zero: “If the U.S. has bases, fleets, and defense systems… how did Iran still hit GCC?” [+6] u/GamblingMikkee: Asians only know the sell button [+5] u/darkspherei: it could be worse, you could be holding msft [+5] u/Paul_Robert_: Shout-out to space stocks, for keeping my port alive! Shout-out to my dumbass, for doing everything in his power to destroy my port. [+5] u/MoleMan199: We need another $16 premarket candle [+5] u/Kind-Recognition4528: Whose the pussy here? [+5] u/SuspiciousStable9649: https://www.12newsnow.com/article/news/local/pillar-of-smoke-rising-from-valero-port-arthur/502-2fafa4f2-70c6-4bb3-b3ff-0ab6a599ac56 [+5] u/LeupMeisterGenral: So we blowing shit up or not? [+5] u/HowLongCanIMakeACock: The guy in the stall next to me sure is [+5] u/Mean_Bumblebee1945: Made a fortune by buying every single dip (zero shorts) on QQQ for May to November 25, then lost a lot during the chop months between November and early Jan 26. Since I have totally switched to shorting only, I am heavily performing on my account. Made almost my whole yearly salary by shorting since January. Basically I always went short at the top of the range in overbought territory. [+5] u/His_story_teacher: Hey look, an explosion in a Valero refinery in Port Arthur Texas. No injuries. [+5] u/orsomeshitidk: Go look at something that isn’t a screen dog [+5] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: Go to bed early tonight [+5] u/billyd1984texas: remote work mandate in Qatar, which was put in place earlier this month amid the war in the Middle East, has been terminated, Qatar’s state news agency reported in the early hours of Tuesday morning in the Middle East. Qataris in the public and private sectors will resume in-person work on Tuesday, it said. #Bullish [+5] u/Iceman12145: Wait we hit their gas infra again? lmao [+5] u/AgeMiddle854: Looks like beef's back on the menu [+5] u/KingRegardothe2nd: 🥭 saying he hired his head of counter terrorism out of pity.. the thing all autocrats fail with is they get so many yes men around them they don't get told the likely impact of their actions and they are so intoxicated by the smell of their own farts they can't envisage themselves failing. [+5] u/betaforever: Attention bers, I want to remind you, theres beauty within us, ❤️ [+5] u/CheeseEveryMeal: How many people here are currently waiting in a Houston TSA line? [+5] u/spellbadgrammargood: 1. Eat silica packets 2. Escape the matrix [+5] u/Bravadette: 🥭 rolling his Domination Victory calls with every truth post [+5] u/DENIMSHORTS_840SCORE: *takes off trading tool belt* Sup pooseez [+5] u/Inevitable_Pilot1353: Can’t lie. I sold everything I bought during last weeks dip [+5] u/talaabo: The strait was open before they killed 87 old geezer. [+5] u/neo-futurism: Calls Calls and Only Calls [+5] u/jasperCrow: WSJ reporting marines arrive to Kharg by Friday [+5] u/ercanbas: This is all Kevin Sorbo’s fault. [+5] u/jasperCrow: I wonder what the cause of the oil refinery explosion in TX is from 😅. I pray to god it was only an accident. [+5] u/qx2: This not art of the deal, this is art of the market steal. [+5] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: I'm just uncontrollably leaking *garbage gas* at this point [+5] u/AirwickS: How do you see the market recovering? A string of +1 days based on Truth Social posts would be a brutal slog. That said, I can't imagine massive pump until ships are moving through the Strait, new Iranian leadership is named and onboard with wrapping things up (but Israel wants to continue bombing, so that seems less likey). Nothing less is destined for this brutal chop IMO [+5] u/appleoftwoeyes: I’ll buy some silver options until to july [+16] u/FirstAccGotStolen: Just in: Two energy facilities in the cities of Isfahan and Khorramshahr were struck by on Tuesday, in an escalation despite 🥭’s announcement of a five-day delay in potential attacks on Iran’s energy network. https://shafaq.com/en/Middle-East/Iran-US-Israeli-strikes-on-energy-facilities-in-Isfahan-and-Khorramshahr Congrats to all put holders. [+15] u/housemouse431: monday...war is over...market close...bombing begins...lmao [+14] u/Cold_Specialist_3656: > The amphibious assault ship USS Tripoli, the amphibious landing dock USS New Orleans, and roughly 2,200 Marines from the 31st MEU will arrive in the Middle East on Friday -WSJ Imagine if I told you in 2014 that we'd have a President timing his invasions around stock market manipulation [+14] u/ToadallyNormalHuman: JD is gonna be mad when Marco is named the successor to 🥭. [+14] u/TheGeoGod: So glad I bought puts today [+13] u/ManBearPig_1983: Some of you forgot that everything is computer and it shows. [+13] u/HereticBurger: Uhhh in case anyone hasn’t seen it yet an oil refinery in Texas is burning [+13] u/Effective_Dog3089: An oil refinery in Texas is burning just so yall know [+13] u/7fingersDeep: I'm really encouraged that the war is over now that the 82nd airborne will be deployed to help with the negotiations. [+13] u/OftenOlives: *US invades Kharg* SPY -0.5% premarket *US strikes Iranian civilian power generation* SPY -0.3% premarket *Iran blows its own infrastructure, mines Hormuz, and starts bombing GCC oil. The Gulf is inflamed in hellfire, toxic smoke and death.* SPY -1.2% premarket 🥭 Truth at 11:59 pm Sunday: Just had a great conversation with Iran boss guys. Productive! Peace soon! Also I'm declaring a ceasefire until Friday! SPY opens up 5.67% [+12] u/saccotac: Guys I think Donnie may have lied this morning [+12] u/pinghing: 🥭 @ 7AM tomorrow: it's okay folks I just farted inside the facility and it caused the fire Spy: +3% Oil: -10% [+12] u/trsx5: IM GONNA LOSE A LOT OF MONEY TOMORROW [+12] u/Awuxy: Bulls all today "YEAH TRUMP USA WINS" Bulls tonight "but, but but, he said he was gonna stop!" [+11] u/thefrozen_one: Who needs Oil anyways, Ghengis Khan conquered half the world and he didn’t need oil 🤷‍♂️ [+11] u/Brilliant_Object_847: Wow oil is behaving like there are no piss talks [+11] u/Gaston44: Gold at $5600 = buy buy buy Gold at $4300 = sell with both hands [+11] u/daddysgirl794: Market can't even sustain a 🌮 taco pump for more than one day now. Just crash it and let's get it over with [+10] u/DingleJingle_: So Asia is going to power their economy with hopes and dreams? [+10] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: "Attacks on Iran’s energy-related facilities in Isfahan, Khorramshahr could complicate situation" Hmmm you don't say... [+10] u/Molten-Helldiver: 1.5 Billion $ in S and P futes bought and 192 mil in Crude shorted 6 mins before 🥭 tweet this morning..no peep out of any regulators…wtf is this simulation we live in😂🔫 [+9] u/Traditional-Fan-3391: wtf is up with these huge swings in futures lmfao [+9] u/DriftWoodBarrel: Everyone knows when SPY dumps during the night it's just going to rip in the morning. When I see SPY red before I sleep I sleep so peacefully. [+9] u/Reasonable_Roger: 8 mines deployed between my chair and the fridge. The straight of fatty is hereby CLOSED. Weight loss here I come! [+9] u/Hungry-for-Apples789: Texas oil plant on fire [+9] u/Dull_Broccoli1637: Can't believe 🥭 did all that just end up back to where we were eod Friday. [+9] u/Standard-Top-5942: Insane that he just lies the world like that. [+9] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Was done half my portfolio today. Tripled down. Once I got back to break even I pulled out. Would’ve tripled my port if I hadn’t sold, but fuck me it was exciting. [+9] u/Fast_Signature7684: back to below fridays AH pump… crazy shit [+9] u/Awuxy: Trump literally wanted a pump day to dump his positions and now he's gonna let it crash [+8] u/Fun-Valuable-7355: Why is a Texas oil plant burning? [+8] u/AdjustDeezNutz: Nice to see my overnights put are finally gonna print [+8] u/leshermes: Why is SPY going down? Well because the asians can see through Mongos lies [+8] u/type_error: Will this be called a taco supreme or a Baja blast? [+8] u/Effective_Dog3089: Why is the oil refinery burning [+8] u/EasyBoard9971: so there’s this island… [+8] u/ToadallyNormalHuman: Bulls talking mad shit because 🥭 went full Taco Bell [+8] u/AfraidAnalyst: I hope everyone is making piles of cash. When this thing finally turns around, buying everything cheap will make new millionaires. Or just keep full porting calls waiting for that truth post [+8] u/gentlesandwich: See bears, now you short every spike. Too bad you've been trying for several months and lost all your money before we ever hit real turbulence [+8] u/Then-Wealth-1481: America said we won’t bomb your power plants but said nothing about Israel not bombing them lmao [+8] u/falken2023: Today was the most obvious bull trap. But..but.. 🥭said it’s all good? 🤣🤣🤣 That’s what people get for believing that fool. [+8] u/housemouse431: if yall have noticed...each taco pump is getting weaker and weaker. there will be a point where he will say the most bullish thing but market gonna drill negative 5 [+8] u/Awuxy: Iran just sent Kuwait into full blackout. [+8] u/Bigamungus: Now thats some gumption [+7] u/sloanemonroe: Unbelievable. But not really [+7] u/Issa_vibe74: Maaaan if this goes drops to pre pre market pump I’ll make my money back [+7] u/Valianne11111: Now all of you have to fly your penises at half mast. [+7] u/B2BContinuum: Vegas prostitutes are asking for 4 gallons an hour [+7] u/potgoblin5: hey at least the market broke out of its months-long range [+7] u/LarsTarkas: At this rate there is going to be a daily TACO to stop the markets from shitting itself [+7] u/AlmightyCheesusCrust: Maybe the bers weren’t crazy all along ⠀⢀⣠⣾⠷⠊⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠗⠉⠉⠉⠓⠻⠿⢿⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣴⡿⠊⠀⣤⣒⣒⣒⣶⠒⡦⠀⠀⢠⣶⣒⣒⣲⣦⠀⠉⠓⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠟⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⣉⣉⣩⡥⠤⠤⠤⢤⠬⠥⠬⠥⠤⠤⠤⣴⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣴⡞⣋⣉⣉⣥⠄⡐⠒⠒⠒⢒⣒⡒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠛⣻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠻⠽⠟⠚⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠚⠋⠉⠻⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⡷⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⢤⠤⠤⣴⠤⠤⢤⡀⠀⠹⡵⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠞⠁⠀⣤⣶⣖⣒⣒⣒⣺⣍⡆⠀⠀⢹⡄⠀⠹⣤⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠏⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠴⠒⠈⠉⠉⠉⣿⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⢳⢖ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⣛⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣀⣨⣧⡀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠈⣦ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⣴⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡀⢻⡄⠀⠀⡯ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠀⠀⢀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠈⣧⠀⠀⢳ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠇⠀⢀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠘⡇⠀⢸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⣧⠀⢸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⣟⠀⢸ [+7] u/Ok-Indication-3754: Have you said thank you once to the orange man [+7] u/zurijer: Perma bols: He wants to de-escalate. Calls. Iran: Fuck your calls! Fake news! [+7] u/SpyBagholder: I can’t wait for this AI bubble to pop. I get sent AI programming articles and it’s insane how people would rather listen to journalists that know nothing than people who actually program [+7] u/Acrobatic-Lead-3700: Asian can see through lies ! [+7] u/HyperSensitive-Mods: How can the rest of us get that insider trading scoop before the 🥭 TACO’s again ……….    only Barron seems to be making all the GAINZ lately.  😒 [+7] u/hioman01: MU down 20% since earnings LOL [+7] u/spyputs1: I hope citadel goes belly up by open tomorrow [+7] u/CategoryBeautiful876: We are striking Iranian infrastructure, and reports of power outages in Kuwait. This is just getting started. It’s never been more over. [+7] u/Czyzzle: War over I need 200 billion. [+7] u/Dry-Syrup-882: Calls till Thursday. Puts over weekend. This isn’t hard you regards [+7] u/Glock7enteen: Kuwait shot down 3 U.S. F-16s and this is how Iran thanks them? [+7] u/Morocier: this website is cancer [+7] u/Effective_Dog3089: 100% win rate. This guys gotta know something [+7] u/OG_L0c: The algos must have seen me buy calls today, thus the red futures [+7] u/According-Page8618: was down 5k tuesday felt like shit. was down 20k today premarket felt even shittier, after pump & open i was only down 5k & i felt fking great [+7] u/PinealTone: lmao.. someone escalated again.. it's tit for tat on energy infrastructure.. [+7] u/ebitdasga: Are the Asians just dumping everything wtf [+6] u/d3sp: This time tomorrow everyone here would've forgotten about actual insider ROBBERY committed in broad daylight Another win for America LMAO🤣 [+6] u/ecoburner87: i know every little headline can make you feel like oil is about to go to 200, but just zoom out to the bigger picture and realize we are on week 4 of the war, remember all the fuckery we've seen up to this point price action that is manipulated, unfair, hard to gauge, whatever you want to call it- i'm ok missing any oil pump, the probability on getting totally fucked by piling into oil at this point is much higher. we are trading against some of the least scrupulous US leaders in a long time and their political future depends on low oil and more market liquidity, that's it. they will do whatever, sell whatever future they can for low oil and market liquidity be careful and keep tight stops [+6] u/leshermes: asia and europe is selling, whilist the US bols buying the dead cat bounce [+6] u/StoneyGwynn: Good news boys! MSFT will drop another 20% [+6] u/Ok-Indication-3754: Trump going to say something to pump it in the lorning [+6] u/PlandomeProwler: Whats up with the Valero oil refinery explosion in Texas... [+6] u/Ok-Indication-3754: Would love to see PLTR get hit hard. [+6] u/DanqueLeChay: No i don’t get puts because i love war and chaos but the fact that some idiots on here believe that and get upset about it makes me happy [+6] u/disrepaired: There’s only 1 earnings that actually matters tomorrow [+6] u/Thecreamcheeze: 🥭 givith, 🥭 taketh away [+6] u/bringkiteback: Time to get aggressively high and try to forget what a loser I’ve become [+5] u/snspro: NO IDEA BUDDY, MAYBE BECAUSE THERES A WAR ON GOING [+5] u/PlanSeekX01: so ur telling me war not over? [+5] u/Difficult_Beat_6094: call or puts for tmr? who thinks the market will be green two days in a row? [+5] u/amanj41: Markwayne Mullin to replace Kristi Noem… that might genuinely be one of the dumbest names I have ever heard [+5] u/FatandBankrupt: Life would be so much easier if I liked hogs instead of pooss [+5] u/kingkex22: yo what did he say.... futures are decimated [+5] u/LostandConfused2024: My SMCI bags are about to get even heavier. **GULP** [+5] u/Own_Arm_7641: If hormuz is so straight why does it get the gey bers so excited? [+5] u/crowdedoralive: I ate chili and Taco Bell...our gas problems are over. [+5] u/stopdropandrauljulia: it's been 8 hours since I looked, is the war still on pause specifically for trading days? [+23] u/Educational_Wall3926: The leadership has decided to respond by targeting all energy facilities in Israel and the Gulf states following the strikes on energy sites in Isfahan and Khorramshahr. -IRGC [+22] u/shark0903: Is this now called a Trump and dump [+21] u/These-Shoulder8017: Mango lied. Can you believe it. [+20] u/hamborgard: Trump admin to pay $1 billion in taxpayer funds to TotalEnergies to cancel wind farms This headline is so fucking retarded. [+19] u/Coffeewin: The day this guy dies should be declared a world peace holiday [+19] u/Guilty-Deer-2147: 🥭 literally doing the same strat of pretending to negotiate while troops are being moved into position for escalation. Do these tards not realize other countries have satellites too? [+18] u/syedhuda: buls will see 1 green candle and visualize 10 years of prosperity [+16] u/Successful-End7689: this war is hiding the dumpster fire happening in private credit right now [+15] u/dayne_stevenson: 🥭 lied about everything!? BIG SURPRISE [+15] u/theummeower: Hermione having to remind Harry to use his wand in a wizarding tournament is absolutely crazy. Almost as crazy as JK Rowling basically naming the one Asian person in the story Ching Chong. [+14] u/Serious-Grapefruit20: Mango delete that tweet from this morning lol [+13] u/RtrnOdaMac: reading up on the Texas thing. Aparently that site is 100% owned by Saudi Aramco. Make of that what you will. [+12] u/Ahthongkorkor: power plant news true? so far only from 1 source fars [+12] u/kalakesri: all the emissions from oil plants blowing up around the world is going to be offset by me using grocery paper bags. you are welcome [+11] u/ShadyPotatoTrader: No taco on this one, he’s not in charge. Economy be fucked. [+11] u/Oldschoolhype2: Imagine not exiting when 🥭 gave you freebie insider scraps.🐂🤡 [+11] u/East-Description-243: ASTS bros have surpassed BTC bros in the delusional department. [+11] u/Potential-Plum7187: Who else is ready for the Trump tweet an hour before market opens that sends SPY to the moon [+10] u/riskybagholder: Just had a stroopwafel for the first time, this shit is amazing. [+10] u/UnicornMilking: Of course 🥭 extended the deadline, he has done that with every "deadline" set Iran says: lmao no, we're not talking, 🥭 is just manipulating the markets again What are the odds a random iranian sounding guy got 🥭's number and is just trolling the fuck out of him? [+10] u/Bichael-Murry: imagine thinking he has actually taco'ed, bruh is buying time for the marines can't wait for the circuit breakers on monday, fucking lol [+9] u/apspicy67: i bought puts at close, if u thought for a second we could have a stalled pump like that and continue upwards the next day ur an idiot, lock in lil bro, DIE FUTURES DIE [+9] u/burrowed_greentext: new girlfriend says a small wang won't hurt the relationship i appreciate the sentiment but still wish she didnt have one [+9] u/HappyDepartment5899: Fed's Miran still believes Fed should cut interest rates......fkin sh*t eating weasel [+9] u/Irishbros1991: Iran Israel still bombing each other strait still closed army moving in yeah this is all going so well.... Oh and what's the offer to Iran the one they previously rejected LMAO [+8] u/lucididdy777: Asia hella pissed they dumped so hard yesterday and then orange face pumped the market after [+8] u/puffinnbluffin: Msft can suck the fattest dick ever 🖕 [+7] u/Ok_Hand5810: Puts on pussy. Calls on cocksucking. [+7] u/Treverer: Isn’t it weird that none of the major media outlets report on the explosion in Port Arthur? Do things like that happen on a regular basis? [+7] u/Independent_Term5790: I just want a circuit breaker one time [+7] u/Poptart_Salad: How much bad news do we need to undo this fucking 🥭 lie? Do the algos just not pay attention to anything unless he posts about it on his website? We should be at the lows from last night by now. [+7] u/trent_upscale: Smoking cat shit out of a diet coke can rn [+7] u/Artistic-Tea-8294: Russian Oil Port and Natural Gas infrastructure on fire? If it's true then the bears are gonna be singing tomorrow. Today was the eye of the hurricane. Get ready [+7] u/Fernyfern7: I'm so glad oil went back down to 91.... 🤡 [+7] u/DesignerSea494: Technicals and Fundamentals no longer apply. I simply trade by inversing social media posts from one senile, old man. [+6] u/Same-Brilliant2014: If you don't buy this pen, I'll stab you with it. 😤 [+6] u/No_Pirate_1409: Ya…current Texan and it’s not uncommon. It’s already been reported that an industrial heater failed and caused the explosion. [+6] u/Evander85: If you’re feeling down about yourself go read all of the “theta gang” “play it safe” regards asking what to do with their SMCI assigned at $40/share last week [+6] u/cnhonker: the market will not recover till Israel says it’s over. [+6] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: What the fuck are futures doing [+6] u/the_sound_of_a_cork: Ber reads the headline "shit is really bad" Ber come here and say "shit is really really bad" [+5] u/palmanul: nobody talking about private credit [+5] u/NativePlant870: Back to 640 tomorrow [+5] u/surmoiFire: Your employer: No, there is no discussion. [+5] u/Coinifyquestion: u/cashflow_ let’s go open the strait of Hormuz after you wash your hair [+5] u/Bichael-Murry: I AM BUYING THE BIGGLIEST RDDT PUTS KNOWN TO HUMANKIND IN DEMONSTRATION TO THIS CESSPIT'S CENSORSHIP THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER [+21] u/br0botic: When you’re a star, they let you do it (market manipulation and insider trading) [+21] u/QuantrixQuintrix: Holy shit…puts on my marriage. [+19] u/Panthera__Tigris: Shorting the index on fake pumps has been free money for the last 3 weeks. Last year, calls was free money. You have to change with the times. If you are a premabull or a permabear, you are a moron. [+18] u/Nice-Difference8641: So let me get this straight, he taco’d out of striking power infrastructure, and then struck power infrastructure?? What??? [+16] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: guys wtf i bought calls like you told me to and they evaporated. is that part of the process? how many times until i make my money back??? [+14] u/somewhere_cool: Stocks like XLE and OXY losing zero ground today has to be proof of foul play or active manipulation in oil futures. [+13] u/_dCkO: Reports are in that Hegseth is wandering around a 7eleven with a 40 in a paper bag telling anyone who will listen that he’s not responsible for gas prices [+12] u/Mr60SPX: Apollo Global Management BlackRock Blue Owl Morgan Stanley What do they all have in common? Restricted redemptions on their private credit funds. It’s like that scene in Austin Powers with the steamroller. [+11] u/2Frum4U: The ceaseless acceleration of “events” is not so much about the events themselves, but an all-encompassing campaign to render most of the global population too stressed to think, let alone direct their own lives. [+11] u/mysuruhuduga: If Elon hadn’t involved in politics and made a good looking truck unlike the ugly cybertruck people would still be buying Tesla like crazy and stock would be sitting around 600 [+11] u/daisymoth9: idk if i buy that iran was responsible for the explosion at port arthur. but the timing is suspicious [+10] u/Awkward_Resolve_9511: Boobs on the ground before you lot can even get hard. [+10] u/bullrfuk: bols piss me off😡😡😡😡😡😡 [+9] u/DuckTalesOohOoh: For the past few weeks, stocks go up on Monday and Tuesday and sell off the rest of the week. [+9] u/Standard_Tea8250: This market is so shit I knew 10am was the last time to pull out [+9] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: imagine thinking this war is over [+9] u/Abe2025: I just want to know something before I go to bed... we're fcked tomorrow, right? [+9] u/No_Skirt_4689: It was JD in brown face [+8] u/RemarkableVictory990: Oil bears you are fucking retarded [+8] u/pmotiveforce: BREAKING: This just in, bulls continue to look stupid. [+8] u/RealityBeOn1: 🥭 knows dips create opportunities for he and his friends to get richer. we saw that today. this shit feels wildly fixed. asia dumps on a monday and that entire dip eaten up bc of a truth social post. we had insane turmoil this time last year because of tariff uncertainty and ripped to a 20% yearly gain. i don’t see a world where 🥭 lets markets look bad before midterms when he can just 🌮 and send markets ripping whenever he pleases. [+8] u/forensicaccountaint: I wish I could inside trade 😪 [+7] u/Maximum-Cash7103: There’s the drop I’m looking for. Fucking son of a bitch. [+7] u/I_work_too_much: You've know about looksmaxxing, you've probably succeeded at retardmaxxing, but have you heard about ***wendysmaxxing***? [+7] u/dopeadult: your girlfriend hates you [+7] u/Overall-Web-5435: gulliBOLS fell for it again LMAO [+7] u/IndependentUsual7444: It's made up misdirection and market manipulation [+7] u/New_Pilot3534: Someone tell me why defense stocks are moving parallel with the rest of the market [+7] u/Confident-Window4928: Cheap puts today thanks dumb bols for keeping the pump elevated throughout the day! [+7] u/kamikassze: where da fuck we going [+7] u/Nice-Difference8641: If you used that fake taco to profit off the pump you’re fine and a smart bol but if you genuinely thought the fake taco was the end to the war you’re ngmi [+6] u/Zimoula: She’s a 6 but she’s a ber [+6] u/frozen_hobo: Look, SPY. You're gonna need to either believe 🥭 harder or call his bluff. Either is fine, but daddy doesn't bet on you getting high and walking in circles around the living room [+6] u/AlasKansastan: I’m gonna try not giving a fuck for once [+6] u/NiceOwner: Department of shenanigans waiting to release “fake positive news” for markets tomorrow. [+6] u/PulIthEld: Peter Schiff talked shit on Bitcoin for nearly 2 decades while shilling gold, and he has only seen a 3x in that time. [+6] u/Who_is_Your_Zaddy: 🥭 went all in on Iran like many of you here go all in on 0DTEs, and it went tits up [+6] u/JohnnyUtahMfer: Meet your new ayatollah, same as the old ayatollah [+6] u/Altair82: since when did doing something properly become ____maxxing jfc zoomers [+6] u/Vegetable_Push6542: Same shit as today. Futes blood red to give the bers time to jerk each other off and then we rip green. [+6] u/Maximum-Cash7103: Why didn’t we? The world and economy are propped up on tooth picks consisting of tweets and drone strikes. [+6] u/GuiltyShirt3771: Looks like blood tomorrow [+6] u/hadizadam: I get banned from all the trading discords [+6] u/ThunderEcho100: The grocery store just told my wife they had to get rid if the salad bar because they weren’t making enough money from it. The I got to thinking what Tim Cook could do if he went all in to maximize efficiency of a salad bar and reducing waist. I came here because I didn’t know who else to tell. [+5] u/DrummerCompetitive20: Oh sheesh just checked futures...why did we crash?? [+5] u/Cold_Distribution273: Oil bols are another breed of ber, this shit is gonna be held under 100 no matter how much money we need to print. [+5] u/Subspace13: Valero refinery in Port Arthur in Texas https://x.com/kfdmnews/status/2036236803749912771 [+5] u/nemo_hoesss: Idk puts at close just felt like the common sense thing to do. [+5] u/SaaSGrass: So glad FUTES are red. I was starting to think Taco Tuesday was postponed [+5] u/ComfortableWolf779: Can they just drop the spy to 450 where it really belongs [+5] u/215aPhillyiated: Down 40k since last March, officially transferred over my fun account to my advisor so I don’t lose the other 50k. I guess that’s the first step of letting going of my gambling addiction, the next step is to stop the deposits. Got 3k lined up for tmw 👌 [+19] u/Beagle001: I’m not sure which is more sad. The fact that he has to lie at this point or that vast numbers of people believe him. I feel like one of those should be more sad. I think I’m sad that this is what my country has been reduced to. [+18] u/sonofalando: 8 ICE agents walking around and 1 TSA agent manning a 3 hour long line 🤡🤡🤡 [+15] u/HandsomeTod11: My rich Jewish friends are not going to Israel for Passover so you know shit is bad over there [+14] u/Noble_Bastard: 🥭 I legit hate the guy. Just think he's morally corrupt, and not fit to lead. However I had to set aside my personal feelings, and concede that no POTUS has ever cared about the market more than he does, and it's not even close. It's literally the guys identity. If you're betting on it to fall, you have to bank on him, and his handlers being inept. If you're betting on it to rise, know that he'll throw everything and the kitchen sink to help it along. [+13] u/HeavyArmsJin: Imagine spending years learning how to trade and read indicators only to find out that people are earning more money looking at social media posts [+12] u/plzplzplztendies: If all Iran leaders are ded who is 🥭 talking to? [+10] u/Fit_Service8662: Israel just struck a power plant in Iran; Iran about to retaliate against same target type [+10] u/WillasTyrell: the morphine dose of hopium the market took for a few hours this morning was amazing to see, $3 trillion worth back to scheduled red now [+10] u/HandsomeTod11: 🥭 will pay the Iranians back by adding them to the signal chat so they can trade inside [+10] u/Affectionate-Idea690: Peace going well 😂😂😂  IRGC-linked Fars News reports airstrikes targeting the gas administration building and gas reduction station in Isfahan and the gas pipeline of the Khorramshahr power plant... [+10] u/shmito17: Rewatching Breaking Bad - MAN I FUCKING HATE SKYLAR. [+8] u/Double_Anybody: Oils up and golds down. Just as things should be [+8] u/HandsomeTod11: Remember, Iran pays the tariffs [+8] u/Chemical-Coconut-203: When i wake up I want to see USO at $117 MINIMUM. No funny business. I'm not in the mood for tacos. [+8] u/McClintockC: Why does my breath always smell like black dicks in the morning 😡😡😡 [+7] u/MakeResonableChoices: One day calls will print like they used to and it will be glorious [+7] u/CEOofBeanz: Wall Street Doomers™️ [+7] u/Grey-59throwaway: I don't even have any positions open yet and I already know I'm fucked [+7] u/HandsomeTod11: 🥭 gonna say Pete relapsed and let him take the fall LoL [+7] u/Hellmale: So, 🥭 says we are not going to hit civilians infrastructure but then tells Bibi to do the dirty job. War is on? Bought cheap puts [+7] u/Ok-Thought-9960: All I have left is this unscratched 1600 Microsoft points card.... [+7] u/bridge4captain: Stop watching futures and watch your parents love your sibling more instead. [+7] u/JellyfishLarge3794: Are farts natural gas? [+7] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: I’m a bull till I die but unfortunately puts [+7] u/Affectionate-Idea690: US-Israeli airstrikes targeted the Isfahan and Khorramshahr power plants moments ago. The Isfahan plant – with a capacity of 2500 MW, the largest in the country in terms of actual generation – is the largest thermal power plant in Iran and supplies the central industrial sector. The Khorramshahr plant – with a capacity of 1100 MW, the fifth largest in the country – is a vital electricity supply for southern Iran....well that went to shit pretty fast 😂 [+7] u/bikkhu42: If this economy doesn’t get better I’ll have to go back to 1-ply toilet paper and that would hurt my feelings and asshole both [+6] u/D1finalboss: Drill team six locked in [+6] u/Bill_Clintons_Desk5: Back from my ban for calling bers gey [+6] u/Fineous40: Every other country except US is worried [+6] u/Weak_Emu3659: Alright well I guess it's time to play pokemon until 3am [+6] u/i_simp_f: My resting heart rate is 157 [+6] u/lifo888: You’re lucky they didn’t lay you off. Be more grateful [+6] u/Fine_Specialists: #NVDA GANG Members checking in [+5] u/Double_Anybody: Only took a couple hours for crude to hit $100+ again lol [+5] u/Miker1730: grab them puts boyzzzz [+5] u/Independent_Drop4317: Is my single put I bought on a whim going to carry my portfolio tmr? [+5] u/mrjacketman0303: Man I feel like ive missed out on the good investments now I gotta wait for an economic crisis before I can make money [+5] u/Intelligent_Heat451: We’re gonna pump like a mf when this is all over with. [+14] u/SolomonKings7: Mango should be jailed for his pump and dump shit. [+14] u/Discount_LionSafari: Iran does not negotiate with terrorists. [+12] u/Worried_Quarter469: US ceasefire demands leaked: * DOW 50k * donation to ballroom fund * your most luxurious jumbo Jet * Ayatollah peace prize * 47 virgins [+10] u/bklotrgoblet: I’m smuggling oil across the border up my ass, gonna be rich [+10] u/TarrifJacksonJr: So everyone is just blowing up everyone else's energy infrastructure now... Fantastic... [+9] u/ThermalChaser: Cashed out. My port aint dying for Israel. [+9] u/openchicfilaonsunday: You get a war. You get a war. You get a war [+8] u/33-sunshines: talks are going well, peace has been achieved! [+8] u/Aromatic-Ad-6244: Can't believe I'm holding calls during this storm. Fuck me. [+8] u/RedBGinger6989: PUTS PRINT, PUTS PRINT, PUTS PRINTTTTT [+7] u/sl3azebag: I love being wealthier than middle aged moms. They the ones I flex on ngl [+7] u/winner_in_life: “If you make 500k and don’t spend 250k tokens, what the hell is wrong with you” - Jensen Huang [+7] u/Visible_Sentence_399: To fix this war I’m officially declaring war on France Just feels like the right thing to do [+7] u/Aldribuds: Getting a little too methy in here [+6] u/HARCYB-throwaway: Ok grandpa, let's get you to bed. [+6] u/CasherburyTales: I wonder where all the “oil is dead” people are at now? [+6] u/CasherburyTales: “Data is the new oil” So glad this data is keeping my family warm through the winter nights [+6] u/Silkiest_Anteater: Futes dead, it's over. Iran is winning, WWIII soon. [+6] u/Diet_Water: This market was fukd even before this war. [+6] u/Napster-mp3: Hey Alexa, play In Too Deep by Sum 41 for 🥭 [+6] u/sl3azebag: turns out saying “i goon to your highlights” is not an appealing compliment [+5] u/Unknown_____-: True. I wish I had $200B [+26] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: The level of insider trading, corruption is like late stage soviet-union banana republic tier. [+18] u/llasar17: didnt say they would be 5 consecutive days [+14] u/ViridianEight: US is bombing Iranian infrastructure Next 24 hours will be interesting [+14] u/AdCritical5383: “It was at that moment Mr 🥭 decided if he doesn’t get to live until 2046, then no one should.” -The Narrator [+14] u/NarpRocks: If boner lasts for more than 4 hours, call more women [+14] u/HowIsEmuWarriorTaken: Maybe an unpopular opinion here, but if I were the CEO of onlyFans, I’d have died of gooning [+13] u/Pete26l96: The top post right now is kind of funny. Goes all in on 0dte puts then states their life is over because the market is rigged and 🥭 is at fault for them losing their entire life savings. Why df were you putting everything on the line on a coinflip in the first place 😂 [+13] u/Pury101: Everyone in this thread right now is poor , unemployed or european(same thing) [+12] u/isolated-cat: oil takes 2 hours to gain 50 cents then goes on to lose it all in 1 min [+12] u/Pete26l96: Incoming truth social post in 7 hours: "I got a good feeling the market's going to end a lot higher at the end of the week ;)" [+11] u/Known-Presentation49: Why is the asian stock market so dramatic. I swear every day they are having legendary crashes or rallies. [+10] u/JakeSal10: Goodnight hope you win tomorrow 🫶 [+10] u/aa73gc: Oil going up, futures going up. Who wins this race? I know who my money is on lol [+10] u/Haikoe: Bears forgot kangaroomarket, we bounce always. Kangaroo market until 2027 [+9] u/octopus4488: But seriously for a minute: What are those 2x2500 Marines supposed to do? Hold Khaarg Island hostage? You could do that with the threat of Tomahawking any incoming empty ship. Open the Strait of Gheymuz? How? 5k soldiers vs a whole mountain region? [+9] u/LeftBullTesty: this market has anime levels of plot armor wtf [+9] u/unhappyreach_: They changed the layout for Yahoo Finance message boards, and it killed the vibes End of an era, folks smh [+9] u/whitepug: PLEASE NETANYAHU I NEED THIS 😭 [+8] u/AdCritical5383: My bro was living his best 2003 life. 🫡🪦 [+8] u/RareButterscotch5891: Fuck its going to V again isnt it [+8] u/Powerful_Mission_655: Did taco annouce another war over [+8] u/Iunatic: Most of you weren't here when the bears got liberated last April and it shows [+8] u/M18PowerKing: I hate it here, I hate reality, I hate myself, I just want to die [+8] u/IDoLikeMyShishkebabs: I fucking despise this market holy shit [+7] u/MrNewking: Bers complaining? *Bullish* [+7] u/AirportMaterial5917: Why are we shitting the bed again [+6] u/Liminal_Aspect: Now that’s concerning [+6] u/maximuminimum: Would posting a pic of my cock here get me banned? [+6] u/SmmaAllstar: Lentils and lentil accessories. [+6] u/Any-Ebb-6109: today is taco tuesday [+6] u/RomanJohnWick: UVXY/VIX having a +2.5% bump in overnight is not concerning at all [+20] u/MRROSADOH: how long until mango tweets an AI video of Iran surrendering? [+20] u/Iknowyougotsole: I guess every one here’s an oil and middle east geopolitical expert this year [+19] u/Mr_Madrass: Mango had no one on the other side of the phone when he thought he spoke with Iranian leaders [+17] u/BetDependent6260: Marines arriving Iran 4 pm Friday sharp. [+15] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: I’m still convinced 🥭s Iran contact is just Kash in a turban on video call “surrendering” Iran to 🥭 so he thinks he won and stops bombing [+13] u/lilordeo: lets all laugh at the dumb BULLS who fell for the trap again🤣🤣🤣 [+12] u/ShadowMoneyLurks: Not my perfect record....noooo [+11] u/music_is_gud: US treasury declared insolvent knowing well they gonna get margin called on oil futes [+11] u/One-Signature-2706: Bols be like “but the country will collapse if the market tanks” Mf, elites with money you’ll never see in your life control every second of your wellbeing already. The country is already collapsed. A market crash is possibly the only way to change a bit of the status quo [+10] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: The market wants to belive the taco so much [+10] u/Potential_Version_34: Iran Strikes Gulf Countries as Optimism Fades -Bloomberg 8min ago [+10] u/bilingualbunny: OH MY GOD ITS FUCKING OVER [+9] u/Key-Jaguar7630: Only a matter of time before he tweets again [+8] u/FartPolluter: Only Trump could exhaust buyers on the leg downs [+7] u/Vort3x7689: This really should be an easy short here but I’m afraid this pump is just insider trading before his next taco [+7] u/Deadweight047: 🥭 bol = I base my trading strategy using presidential tweets 🤣🤣🤣 Next level regards [+7] u/Own-Wolverine-5361: She's a 10, but wears a throwback Los Angeles Raiders hijab [+7] u/FallenGear: Historically the markets are open on Tuesdays. [+6] u/StandardDot5115: Judging by futes guess this was a cover rally [+6] u/2007endeavor: Regular gasoline in Vancouver Canada right now is cad$2.10/litre = usd$5.78/gallon 😭😭😭😭 [+21] u/Knarre30: 🌮'ed out, everything pumps. A day later it's obvious that it was a lie. Still up. As you can see Ladys and Gentleman... lying is very bullish. [+20] u/MelonBeefChop: Puts on calls Open by close [+20] u/mightychicken64: Iran just called him a BITCH oooohhh you gonna take that? you gonna take that donnie? [+19] u/corndog_messiah: Fake talks going well? Very productive? [+16] u/Unhappy_Hedgehog_808: Yeah but had people like “SPY is only 2% off ATH” a month ago. Seems like that number is getting larger. [+14] u/Jaded_Bowl4821: Bessent and Japan are shorting oil futures [+14] u/lupinle1: Ships are now paying Iran for passage. So much winning! [+14] u/pigslick: at war w iran but i haven’t seen any epstein post on instagram [+14] u/borkdpasito: How the actual fuck is SPY not red How the actual fuck is oil at 90 I trying really hard to believe this is rational price action [+14] u/All_FIREdUp: 🥭 can try to pump all he wants but that isn’t going to change the fact that in a couple months you’re ass is getting deployed and you’ll be returning to mass unemployment and economic ruin, cheers! [+12] u/hubblebubble7: Taco does not decide when this war is over, Wakey wakey [+12] u/No_Onion_8612: Trump never asks for ID [+11] u/buttaviaper: Iran is charging $2 million per ship to pass through the strait, lmao [+11] u/ILoveWesternCenter: US: We gotta print billions to fund this war! Iran: Our spending is only in the millions, lets charge like $2mil toll for ships to fund the war [+10] u/hubblebubble7: Traders lost trust in his manipulation, Iran got him by the balls [+10] u/buttaviaper: I want out of my oil position, turns out buying the top yesterday wasn’t the play [+10] u/buttaviaper: bro fuck oil, holy shit, what an useless pos [+9] u/AusConsoleGamesLFG: I hate these weird new modern cultures in countries like America, it's so isolating and depressing compared to other cultures - for example, have you seen how happy people from Spain are? Other places have real communities and cultures I have a Spanish friend that is so chill, happy and content, that when offered a ride home at night they're just like, nah all good I feel like walking back along the beach... but it was a 3 hour walk to home lol. And don't say "just move" lol 10,000% would if I could [+8] u/Icy_Jelly_315: https://www.msn.com/en-ca/money/topstories/apollo-private-credit-fund-limits-investor-withdrawals-after-requests-surge/ar-AA1Zfeju?ocid=BingNewsSerp Not bullish [+7] u/Ok_Customer900: Should i unload my port before mango fucks my shit up again [+6] u/Infinite-Anybody204: Bro is making truth social posts at 2am. He is not coming to save you this time [+6] u/Locus_In_Quo: PORT ARTHUR, Texas (KPLC) - Emergency officials are responding to the Valero refinery in Port Arthur as smoke rises from the facility. Multiple people in the area have reported hearing a loud boom that rattled their homes. Police advise people on the west side of Port Arthur to shelter in place. https://www.kplctv.com/2026/03/23/explosion-port-arthur-refinery/ 'This Port is owned by the Saudis, trump approved the purchase in his first term.' not sure if its true... [+6] u/Kattilaeikka: Mangolini's buddies got their puts in. Back down we go as was promised.