▶ Full Post Text
[+52] u/Disconn3cted: Imagine being drafted to protect the Epstein files. It's a good day to be 36 and obese.
[+51] u/orsomeshitidk: I don’t even like the stock market bro
[+43] u/VellyJanta: Iran was offering Japan oil at a discount like they do to China and India. Japan, honoring their alliance to USA, refused.
Japan not only paid the billions in tariff bribe but another saying they will invest in USA again.
They get a Pearl Harbor joke and another threat to join the war lol
[+42] u/Pristine_Afternoon96: here comes the kharg island invasion. you dont mobilze a bunch of soldiers just for fun
[+34] u/AggieDem: What a rough week. Thank God it's Friday.
[+28] u/Dull_Principle2761: Are these negotiations in the room with us?
[+27] u/McKoijion: > ISRAELI CHANNEL 12: ONE-MONTH CEASEFIRE TO BE ANNOUNCED UNDER MECHANISM BEING DEVELOPED BY WITKOFF & KUSHNER
Lmao, Israel is out of interceptors. Iran just hit central Israel. They're trying to delay until they can be resupplied. I don't think Iran is going to slow down.
[+24] u/Lapidated_Llama: Just lost 2.5k in one hour. (35% of my portfolio)
[+23] u/Disconn3cted: People really believe the fake ceasefire announced the exact moment the market closed is real? Are they alright?
[+23] u/McKoijion: > OIL FUTURES BRIEFLY TURN NEGATIVE ON UNCONFIRMED REPORTS OF ONE-MONTH MIDEAST CEASEFIRE; QUICKLY REVERSE POSITIVE IN VOLATILE POST-SETTLEMENT TRADING
How have you guys not caught onto this scam yet? It's the exact same one every time lol
[+21] u/Detonate-Ralph: Ppl believing Iran agreed to giving up nuclear energy and their missiles are delulu AF
[+21] u/noaholic: This war ends everyday
[+20] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: This is not a ceasefire. This is Israel asking for a ceasefire. Iran has very plainly said they don't want a ceasefire because that's how they end up bombed again in 6 months.
[+19] u/hermeskino715: Markets believing in Israeli channel 12 news bullshit?
Bols? I got some calls to sell for you tomorrow lol
[+19] u/Internal_Field5970: I might just get out of the market to avoid the brain damage. Not even worth the money
[+19] u/mtnrnnr802: Osama Bin Laden died for this
[+19] u/whitepug: Does iran know about the ceasefire talks 😭
[+18] u/cashflow_: Was waiting forever for laundry to finish and went and checked and I never pressed the play button thing. Bullshit
[+18] u/DrConnors: So much winning. Can't take anymore of this winning.
[+18] u/leshermes: He's playing war like his tariffs, WAR ON WAR OFF WAR ON WAR OFF, LMAO
[+18] u/HowIsEmuWarriorTaken: >TRUMP: Our incredible military stopped 24 of their so-called 'hypersonic' missiles. 24. Beautiful number. Jack Bauer, 24. Very intense show, tough guy, but not as tough as me.
Bullish SPY 700c EOY
[+17] u/CompoteSpecialist618: Another horrid dreadful faggy fucking day of losing money!
[+17] u/ViridianEight: Every single time the US and Israel have negotiated w Iran they’ve used it as cover to attack Iran again.
Surely this is BS right? Like no way they would fall for this again right. Considering there are 8 thousand marines en route. Idk.
[+17] u/Necessary-Lychee-486: Tesla was green today. That should be illegal.
[+16] u/Soffatjockis: Most manipulated untradeable market I've seen since liberation day.
This is perhaps even worse as he tacos multiple times per day and spreads lies to influence the market.
I'm happy to stay in cash. Fuck this shit.
[+16] u/yyn1999: THERE IS NO NEWS THIS IS ALL FAKE AND GHEY
[+15] u/dljmonkeyboiz: lol Israel suggesting a ceasefire … that by far has to be the fakest news ever… ban
[+14] u/TheOriginalBushToad: Unemployment rising, consumer sentiment dropping, Fed not cutting rates any time soon, wars in Ukraine and Iran, stagnate housing market, Epstein files still opening..... Sure, let's buy calls....
[+14] u/burtburtburtcg: BREAKING: 🥭’s Twitter profile has officially been reclassified as fiction by the American National Association of Libraries (ANAL)
[+14] u/Frosty_Promise8050: This is definitely one of the dumbest things I've seen.
[+14] u/Uppja: Israeli channel 12 is the sauce of the ceasefire. Probably bs
[+14] u/LouieM13: You guys know Iran has to agree to the ceasefire right?
And even then Iran and Israel are so bloodthirsty they’ll just keep striking each other anyways.
[+14] u/Awkward_Ad_5102: Unless you’re an insider, this market is untradable..
[+14] u/Same-Brilliant2014: 1.4mil vol pump, 1mil volume sell right after lol
[+14] u/burtburtburtcg: What’s the point of a cease fire if you’ve already won 3 times?
[+14] u/Mark_Underscore: don't fucking listen to what's being said... watch what's actually happening
# Pentagon prepares to send another 3,000 troops to Middle East
The decision to move the Army’s 82nd Airborne Division to the region heightens the possibility U.S. troops will enter Iran.
\-Politico
[+13] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: bul plan for evening:
* congratulate self for existing
* brag about bagholding calls that are already -30% at best
* jerk off to the thought of 🥭 blasting a massive load of jizz into the back of their throat and then swallowing it like the servile little whores they are
[+13] u/the_mind_goblin1: oh shit we got a scam candle
[+13] u/Big_Red_Dogs: Manipulation the likes of which we haven’t seen since, yesterday.
[+13] u/NiceJobSon: I might be on the verge of financial ruin but at least I got the yard mowed before it started raining.
[+13] u/spyputs1: I’m taking the rest of the week off, I’m not trading until the fuckery with 15-20point 1 minute candles tweet bullshit is done. This is straight up gambling.
[+13] u/xXFoxyGrandpaXx: You bozos really think Iran will just say “yeah sure bro”, they spent the last week saying they were in this for the long haul. It’s progress but means nothing
[+13] u/qqqxyz: the fact these war announcements are perfectly timed after market closes is so dystopian
[+13] u/Venom17645: walter bloomberg is fucking useless
[+13] u/Independent_Drop4317: I’ve seen this script many times before
[+13] u/Marshmallowmind2: Googling Iran ceasefire brings nothing up in news, I've checked bbc news, guardian, Al jazeera and can't see nothing about a ceasefire. What sites are you all using?
[+13] u/The_BakedCrusader: They're pulling out all the stops to keep SPY from closing under $650 again. The timing of all this is surely just one giant coincidence. This information couldn't have been made available during market hours.
[+12] u/sck178: Jesus, the market is treating GOOGL like Batman's parents
[+12] u/Rvin16: Fuck 🥭 hope they send it war. Legacy of his trash admin
[+12] u/Suspicious-Island551: Boots on the ground I guess
[+12] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: More strikes in Israel. Lots of damage reported- Al Jazeera
[+12] u/the_mind_goblin1: #IRAN: WE STILL HAVEN'T HEARD A FUCKING WORD FROM YOU GUYS LMAO STOP SAYING WE'RE DOING A CEASEFIRE, WE FUCKING HATE YOU GUYS
[+12] u/R3dFiveStandingBye: Lmao why always after hours fuck you market
[+12] u/Rich-Badger-7601: This bitch ALWAYS waits until the market is closed to break out fun news
[+12] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: ceasefire story originates out of israel. so probably just a deliberate precursor to dropping more bombs.
[+12] u/br0botic: “A mechanism for ceasefire”
The wording of these fake pumps just keeps getting more ridiculous lmaooo “framework of a concept of a plan” type shit
[+12] u/kawkface: Can someone explain wtf is going on after hours
[+12] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: taking this fraud candle as confirmation there will be israeli/american escalation tonight.
[+12] u/OkAlternative7705: whats the news? we won war for third time again?
[+12] u/DeltaVx_: news dropped a 4:16 naturally
[+12] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: Are we in peace talks or sending paratroopers? These seem contradictory
[+12] u/Lapidated_Llama: 72k total loss is my exit. See yall later. It’s been absolutely terrible.
[+11] u/Internal_Field5970: The people that believe there’s a ceasefire, are the same people that believe other countries pay the tariffs and that Mexico is gonna pay for the wall
[+11] u/McKoijion: Lmao, Israeli bots going wild in here right now. It's too bad the market is closed or I'd buy more oil and gas calls.
[+11] u/YourCautionaryTale: Honestly, I don't want to hear either side gloating or acting like they won today.
[+11] u/ZealousidealSector19: How many if you bought googl calls today?
[+11] u/Awkward_Ad_5102: They say don’t time the market.
Bitch, I’m in the market. That hasn’t helped shit
[+11] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: My wife couldn't FATHOM the trenches of day trading these past few months
[+11] u/fredditf: Israeli Channel 12: A ceasefire for a period of one month will be announced according to a mechanism that Witkoff and Kushner are working on
[+11] u/According-Page8618: 1 MONTH CEASEFIRE IRAN - USA ISRAEL LETS GO
[+11] u/dtlabsa: Is this like an Israeli ceasefire where they continue to bomb daily one side while the other side ceases? Or is it a real one where both sides stop?
[+11] u/magmacannon: If Iran doesn’t agree to it, this will be faded.
[+11] u/Disconn3cted: Does the IRGC know they've agreed to a ceasefire 🤔?
[+11] u/Full_Cash6140: Fake News => +1%
Nvm it was bullshit => -0.2%
Efficient market hypothesis in shambles.
[+11] u/Uppja: mango going to spend this whole week trying to will an end into existence only to say $500 oil is what he wanted all along
[+11] u/No-Insurance100: Most pathetic market ever, SPY trading like a meme stock while there's a very real deficit of 100 million barrels of oil (and growing) that hasn't been delivered the last two weeks
[+11] u/Technicaltrades404: Of course market pumps off fake headlines. Bols are extremely autistic
[+11] u/magmacannon: What is quite clear is that Israel is running low on interceptors and admitting that their attempt at regime change was unsuccessful. Iran wants a permanent ceasefire, not a 1-month replenishment period. Do not fall for this move.
[+11] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Literally not a single news source yall really just blowing smoke up your ass
[+11] u/No_Clue_3225: war is officially over for the 4th time
[+11] u/Ok-Piano8789: why would they ever open hormuz to negotiate opening hormuz and in doing so lose all leverage around hormuz. use the tiniest bit of common sense lol
[+10] u/LiamPhlegmsworth: Wait so Israel lays out a list of ridiculous demands that Iran will never agree to and that’s what we’re pumping on? Incredible. Maybe the entire world is retarded and not just us Americans
[+10] u/gayforgoblin: Why save for retirement? Just enjoy that money now while you can and work til you die
[+10] u/Crazy_Donkies: Iran just gifted America something. I'm thinking it's a large horse being wheeled into Mara lago.
[+10] u/DanasSideWife: > Atomic Energy Organization has reported that a projectile hit the grounds of the Bushehr nuclear power plant, following what it described as continued hostile actions by US and Israeli forces
everything is fine, I’m sure there won't be any escalation attacks in response to this
[+10] u/awetfartruinedmylife: More troops to the Middle East and people here hoping for a tweet 👍🏻
[+10] u/According-Page8618: 1 MONTH CEASEFIRE IRAN USA
[+10] u/Disconn3cted: You'd better just fucking uninstall your brokerage account
[+10] u/swenau01: Of course they wait until after hours
[+10] u/Extension-Change-441: lmao more movement 5mins after SPY options close out than the whole day, we're just bacteria in this pond
[+10] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: at what point does this naked corruption start rattling investor confidence? like what the actual fuck is this? literally 7 minutes after options trading closes? they're not even trying to hide it
[+10] u/Internal_Field5970: Does Iran know about about the ceasefire?
[+10] u/2020isgreat: It legit sounds like they just threw out the ceasefire word for fun when they realized the "talks" weren't pumping the market enough anyway oil position increased again
[+10] u/Poptart_Salad: Araghchi just postsed on X 21 minutes ago, and does not mention any ceasefire agreement or anything. Let me guess, this thing "Channel 12" is reporting on, is an agreement they and the US have been discussing amongst themselves and not the counterpart to this war?
[+10] u/ManoSann: Breaking news notorious liar is definitely not lying this time
[+10] u/Republic_Potential: They had to time it for barrons bets
[+10] u/Boheed: Israel is low on interceptors. Iran WANTS to keep the war going because the more painful they make it now, the less likely the US / Israel is to attack Iran in the future. Iran _knows_ Israel wants Iran gone from the map.
[+10] u/Powerful_Mission_655: Holy shet did spy beat earnings
[+10] u/Internal_Field5970: Tariff reimbursement checks to Americans when?
[+10] u/NervousChemistry7401: This is the longest most expensive route back to the exact same nuclear pact we had before it was torn up.
[+10] u/Cold_Distribution273: I saw someone say Israels version of a ceasefire is you cease we fire. I give this about 1 day to hold lol.
[+10] u/Clubpenguin8888: Not believing it until it’s on TMZ
[+9] u/Weak_Emu3659: Alright 4pm - pack it up boys, time for pokemon now.
[+9] u/jokull1234: Diminishing returns on Trump’s TACOs
[+9] u/Lapidated_Llama: Completely blame 🥭 for everything. What a POS
[+9] u/fredditf: OpenAI Set to Discontinue Sora Video Platform App
SLOP
[+9] u/pmotiveforce: I hate when that fat gross retard posts a bunch of god damn endorsement spam bullshit. Nobody gives a fuck, post more crazy shit about market you disgusting blubbertard.
[+9] u/WhyAmIDoingThis1000: i have a hard time believing this war will last. Trumps TACO'ing is usually around money. A long war would ruin that, I'm thinking of buying this dip sooner than later.
[+9] u/GreenGameboyColor: Holy diver
You've been down too long in the midnight sea
Oh what's becoming of me?
[+9] u/Icy-Motor-8519: Lmao this shit is entertainingly retarded
[+9] u/Roxorek: Israeli Channel 12: Negotiations on the 15 points will take place within a one-month ceasefire.
what is this bs
[+9] u/Scarfaceb1tch: Red by open this bullshit going to fail
[+9] u/lostinspacs: It might be true but Israeli media has been incredibly unreliable recently
[+9] u/Abe2025: Wtf just happened? Bro this market is absolutely retarded
[+9] u/FirstGenerAsian: 🥭 and his manipulative lies after gaining 4 billion net worth in 14 months.. can’t believe this is the America we live in now
[+9] u/kaapooj: why would iran agree to a ceasfire? would u risk ur life and state for a 1 month sabbatical?
[+9] u/Internal_Field5970: Literal Taco Tuesday
[+9] u/orsomeshitidk: How many times do we have to win this war?
[+9] u/Bxdwfl: Find you an employer as gullible as this market
[+9] u/leshermes: So, Israel is begging for a ceasefire because their little Iron Dome can't handle Iran, bunch of pussies
[+9] u/sleven207: Source on ceasefire rumor is sketchy and Iran is not going to agree to a ceasefire right now without major concessions.
[+8] u/hermeskino715: GOOGL seems like it wants to follow MSFT's footsteps :sadpepe:
[+8] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: made $1.38 today as a WSB regarded trader, AMA.
[+8] u/drakilian: Google getting fucked like it has a debt it can only pay back with its body
[+8] u/Disconn3cted: Hurry up and eat, gen Z. They won't draft you if you are obese.
[+8] u/HARCYB-throwaway: If everyone here could just be a bit nicer tomorrow that would be cool, man.
[+8] u/djklmnop: Who would've guessed.. After hours.
[+8] u/ConstantSpace5809: Does anybody really believe this shit
[+8] u/Maximum_Light409: GIMME A BREAK, BRO. LEMME DIE IN PEACE STOP RESSURRECTING ME WITH THESE PUMPS
[+8] u/Quarter-Normal: Where are people getting this ceasefire info from
[+8] u/Valkorion335786: Lmfao they waited until after close
[+8] u/graps2: The war is over for the 12th time in 2 weeks
[+8] u/Wall_St_Bussy: Chat scrolling so fast nobody will see that I like big goth titties
[+8] u/SergeantThreat: An Israel ceasefire is as trustworthy as a post Taco Bell fart
[+8] u/Knarre30: This whole thing has to be a social experiment
[+8] u/rollinhating: "
* Alluding to progress in talks with Iran, **U.S. President Donald Trump claimed Iran shared** [**an oil- and gas-related “present,”**](https://apnews.com/live/iran-war-israel-trump-03-24-2026#0000019d-2132-d29d-affd-effeff6e0000) a day after telling reporters the Middle Eastern nation is eager for a deal to end the war. Trump said Monday his son-in-law Jared Kushner and U.S. envoy Steve Witkoff [**held talks with an unnamed Iranian leader**](https://apnews.com/article/iran-us-israel-trump-lebanon-march-23-2026-93c6b3234a5e8917aaf599bf85a03044), though he said the U.S. hasn’t talked to the [supreme leader](https://apnews.com/article/iran-united-states-israel-supreme-leader-mojtaba-khamenei-209cec036068b40fcfcba2be7ac7e2b0). **Iran denied that such talks were taking place. "**
HOW ARE PEOPLE BUYING THIS?!
And why send 3000 paratroopers + like 10k marines then?
[+8] u/Miffy1234567: Ohh wow, another non market hours manipulation
[+8] u/Warm_Pianist4879: SGOV gang chillin rn
[+8] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: 7 minutes before market close for me i got a notification that boots were on the ground soon, and now theres a ceasefire? Lmao posturing to keep the market from absolutely cratering is all this is
[+8] u/ecoburner87: It's a big club and you ain't in it
Down with capitalism (and this dump is amazing for my positions, been all in, but still)
[+8] u/Randomname1157: There is no confirmation of a ceasefire. And I don't think Iran would accept it. The cease fire is going to be conditioned on opening the straight... And they're not doing that.
[+8] u/NlNJANEER: Fuck your puts
Fuck your calls
Iran has got you by the balls
[+8] u/whatislifebruh: Market doesn’t even fully believe this shit or else we’d be +3% by now lmao
[+8] u/Rich-Badger-7601: We've bombed them every time they've come to the negotiation table, they're currently coming to the negotiation table, guys it really isn't rocket science here
[+8] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Gotta love these post market news releases
[+8] u/mmmmmmmayhem: Literally ONLY ghey bers in here. I can’t wait for the war to end. Back to the norm where everyone is happy. Like who likes when stocks fall and the world is fighting?!
[+8] u/mugirawraw: Did I just fill my gas tank at the top?!
[+8] u/PuzzledLeader8941: Wait some of u actually believe this 😭😭
[+8] u/PropheticMurmurs: This was not at all a classic, shining example of insider financial manipulation.
Nope, just totally random Brownian motion of honest buyers and sellers on the open market.
[+8] u/get_da_maney: Lmao cnbc said due to an unconfirmed report. Blatant manipulation
[+8] u/FarWay9137: Did we really pump because Trump said Iran gave him a present regarding energy flows through the Strait of Hormuz? We back to pumping daily on fake and retarded headlines?
[+7] u/Who_is_Your_Zaddy: Just woke up. How are my calls doing?
[+7] u/SouthNice7324: Today had all the excitement of a spreadsheet with no data
[+7] u/Nateleb1234: Is meta going out of business?
[+7] u/Erieztoys: Yeah I am retard, in the Daily wondering why everyone stop commenting.
[+7] u/Disconn3cted: Jesus Christ everything lmao 🙈
[+7] u/mugirawraw: Got calls im shaking
[+7] u/orsomeshitidk: ‘What losing my home and family to 0dte options gambling taught me about B2B sales’
[+7] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: oh fuck, it's 4:16, I have made a terrible mistake
[+7] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: That fucking bag of dicks rapid tweeted literal garbage to get a dip
[+7] u/Ninja_Cooter: Can you tell I bought 1dte puts 6 minutes ago???
[+7] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: did QQQ beat earnings?
[+7] u/No-Improvement3164: It’s actually getting embarrassing
[+7] u/Reasonable_Cow3667: man fuck this market
[+7] u/rollinhating: ANOTHER FUCKING LIE..................
Sure the Iranians sent a present to mango.... For what? "thank you for bombing us" ????
[+7] u/kaapooj: don't fall for it again, there will be no taco.
he is playing for time
[+7] u/Sidney_Godsby: They couldn’t have announced the fake cease fire at 4:14pm or earlier? Smh my head
[+7] u/Unlucky-Design-6564: War is over again!!!
[+7] u/baller1able: Boy if you bought puts before close I got some unfortunate news for you 😭
[+7] u/Illustrious-Low4128: I was the guy who bought puts before close😂
[+7] u/Waste-Head7963: PUMP THIS MOTHERFUCKING SHIT TO THE FUCKING MOON 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
[+7] u/Ok-Piano8789: u guys are so gullible and illiterate lol
[+7] u/Technicaltrades404: Bols are such losers 😂 so horned up over fake headlines. Absolute dorks
[+7] u/ConstantSpace5809: 82nd Airborne travelling to Middle East to monitor cease fire 😅
[+7] u/LiamPhlegmsworth: Iran & Israel. Two countries that you can totally take their word on cease fires 😂 if this is even true to begin with
[+7] u/Glock7enteen: Algos just realized a random rumor from an Israeli tv channel does not warrant a 1% spy pump
[+7] u/seeking-health: Anyone have Barron's number ? I need to ask some advice
[+7] u/CigInside: I don’t think Israel has ever not honored a ceasefire. Not sure why there is any concern
[+7] u/McKoijion: Israel is out of missile interceptors. Iran's drones today were mostly shot down by foreign ships anchored near Israel. A much larger percentage of them hit their targets.
[+7] u/No_Technician347: This shit is getting so old man
[+7] u/MarbledTheFoyer: 9:30 tomorrow so far away
[+7] u/2020isgreat: they threw out the word "ceasfire" and the market couldn't even hold the pump lmao
[+7] u/ThinCrusts: I have a funny feeling this shit wants to slide down to 620 but is being propped up
[+7] u/AdditionalMany1292: Lmao right after 0 dte settle 😂😂
[+7] u/Frosty_Promise8050: All this talk about a ceasefire, and 11 seconds ago cluster munitions hurt 9 people....
[+7] u/Yousoldmetohigh: Not sure I believe this...
[+7] u/Templar_Swamp_Stake: It’s not even on Truth Social where are you guys seeing this.
[+7] u/Rich-Badger-7601: >Israel is holding off on revealing their 15th demand until their fireteam successfully completes The Last Wish raid - Axios
[+7] u/dontslambro: I love how this shit drops in non real trading hours.
Every fucking time.
Like it’s on purpose.
[+7] u/StraitOfHummus: We are going to awake one day when a single tweet doesn't cause the market to gap up several percent, and that will be the day you will get invited to the Signal chat.
[+7] u/YouKnown999: #TACOturd panicking bigly. Not gonna work this time sucker, LMAO
[+6] u/Templar_Swamp_Stake: I’m real happy WW3 is called off and all, but does someone have a fucking link?
[+6] u/TheRealNoodre: Lmk when Iran says they've had zero communication about the ceasefire lol
[+6] u/SouthNice7324: How was your trading day:
I came, I saw, I regretted
[+6] u/Affectionate-Idea690: The guidance comes from the International Energy Agency (IEA), which last week released its report 'Sheltering From Oil Shocks' outlining 😂😂😂
The IEA also suggests shifting travel from private cars to public transportation and restricting vehicle access in major cities on alternating days based on license plates. 😂
We are fuked
[+6] u/lamewoodworker: Might have to sell my pokemen cards at this rate. Microflacid boomed me
[+6] u/StonklordBenno: Another day of watching my life savings shrink
[+6] u/seeking-health: I remember I was just about to sell google at 320 few months ago. But I didn't because I was to lazy to fill taxes. If i wait longer I may lose enough gains to not fill taxes.
[+6] u/Nateleb1234: I tired of winning. Please make it stop
[+6] u/horseisahorse: So did Trmp change his alert from 670 to 650, is that the pattern now
[+6] u/Such_Coin: I am a lot more tempted to buy the GOOGL dip than the MSFT dip.
[+6] u/SouthNice7324: Today could have been an email
[+6] u/Previous_Hope_2087: The stock we aren’t supposed to talk about is posting better earnings per share than TSLA lol
[+6] u/Bravadette: > Mohsen Rezaei, Iran's new military adviser... has warned that Iran will "paralyse" the United States and "sink" its ships in the Arabian Gulf and appeared to set 🥭 a "deadline" to save America.
> "If you attack the infrastructure of the Islamic Republic of Iran, our response will no longer be an eye for an eye, but rather a head for an eye; we will paralyse you and drown you in the Gulf," Rezaei claimed.
Sources:
https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/iran-war-live-a-head-for-an-eye-iran-mohsen-rezaei-warns-donald-trump-that-us-final-deadline-is-near-11260550
https://www.iranintl.com/en/202603230179
[+6] u/Cold_Distribution273: Should've made thousands, lost thousands instead
[+6] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: who got rugged today
[+6] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: shit pump and dump trash market from the crypto orange
[+6] u/LongroddMcHugendong: I’ve been an oil bull, but after the fuckery yesterday morning I can’t keep trading something with such flagrant manipulation happening.
Cash gang until boots on the ground.
[+6] u/Oldschoolhype2: Word on the street is Iran only accepting tolls paid in Chinese Yuan. Lol.
[+6] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Game store at 22 dollars for 2 years new store of value
[+6] u/Internal_Field5970: This isn’t consensual
[+6] u/Rich-Badger-7601: Mango 2 has been such an insanely wild ride that we don't even talk about TSLA anymore
[+6] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: I am having a hard time understanding how the US thinks they will get Iran to the table to negotiate when at this very moment continue to bomb the shit out of Iran.
It really is just a decoy buying time, and Iran even said this .. yet market is dululu
[+6] u/B2BContinuum: That Japanese prime minister looks like she'll bite your head off after sex
[+6] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: Omfg I might be rich
[+6] u/burtburtburtcg: We won the war for a 3rd time in two days!
[+6] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: i don’t believe it. locking phone now, futures are fake and manipulated to the max.
[+6] u/fredditf: NEGOTIATIONS ON 15-POINT PLAN TO TAKE PLACE DURING ONE-MONTH CEASEFIRE
[+6] u/Scalpaholic: There's no ceasefire unless Iran confirms the same. Is there anything from the other side in regards to that?
I would so jump onto Puts unless there's such news.
[+6] u/BadBoyBilbo: “I understand that, without our agreement, Donald Dump has put out a social media post late this afternoon that we are having a ceasefire this year. This is wrong and we have not agreed to a ceasefire in 2026. We will not be stopping the war this year.”
- Iran (probably)
[+6] u/Yousoldmetohigh: I bought puts today. Lol
[+6] u/EconomyJust4589: Did we win the war again???
[+6] u/Rich-Badger-7601: "One month ceasefire" okay but does that mean Israel can keep launching strikes tonight or what
[+6] u/delicious_oppai: Who breaks ceasefire first? My money is on Israel
[+6] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Al jazeera hasn't said shit
[+6] u/Murky-Gas-7976: Who lost money on calls today and is now watching is shrek
[+6] u/HaveTwoBananas: Market manipulation again
[+6] u/myboywears: Don’t know why bulls keep falling for it
[+6] u/shindiggaa: Ofc this pump will be gone by open tomorrow just to fuck my calls
[+6] u/DCrebuilds: An Israeli ceasefire? We know how those go lol
[+6] u/SquidKid47: Oh cool another leaked ceasefire headline to test market reaction. Now he's gonna announce a ceasefire at 9:28 AM to get it fresh in the algos' heads tomorrow
[+6] u/Eddyrancid: I hate Seeking Alpha- "Analysts warn that markets are at mercy of US-Iran conflict." Yeah, no fucking kidding.
[+6] u/T0th3M00NW3G0: Ofc happens AH. No surprise
[+6] u/Icy-Truck3734: Insider trading during daylight
[+6] u/Noddite: Seems highly doubtful, Israeli officials were just saying they planned for the war to continue for quite some time, their main goal was regime change or to completely neuter Iran to the point of submission.
[+6] u/MissMatriarch: Market has become completely desensitized by all these fake pumps.
It’s already dumping
[+6] u/Fair_TQQQ: We really falling for it for a 3rd time this week?
[+6] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Citi reported that 0DTE option volume is at a one year low lmao
[+6] u/AgitatedJump8459: Are yall even reading those 15 points? Iran ain’t going to accept ever lmfao.
[+6] u/mrhappyfunz: Have not seen any large news outlets report this yet or of Iran has agreed to it
[+6] u/srnx: The second biggest company in the world, Google, lost 4 % market cap today and seemingly nobody really knows why
Nice
[+6] u/br0botic: The great thing about owning software stocks is they don’t even pump with these war talks. They just keep going down
[+6] u/Current_Animator7546: No one is reporting this wtf
[+6] u/SergeantThreat: But, rest assured, this will be the sixth time we have declared a ceasefire, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it.
[+6] u/AirportMaterial5917: Google never holds shit with its floppy fkn loose ass used hole
[+6] u/buttaviaper: 🇺🇸🇮🇷🇮🇱⚡- "The Trump team is pushing for a 'framework agreement' with Iran, starting with a 'one-month ceasefire' followed by talks on a 15-point plan.
The proposal includes strict nuclear restrictions (no enrichment, dismantling of main sites) in exchange for lifting sanctions and supporting civilian nuclear projects.
Israel fears that a vague agreement could allow Iran to 'emerge victorious' if the fighting stops before the details are finalized," - Israeli Channel 12.
[+6] u/Detonate-Ralph: This is an obvious psyop for market manipulation and trying to catch unguarded on a ground invasion.
[+6] u/Excellent-You-3873: Who cares if its fake news, the market loves it, and in the casino, that's all that matters
[+6] u/unique_ptr: This 15 point plan reads like a wish list. Why would they agree to this?
[+6] u/yyn1999: WE WON FOR THE 20TH TIME
[+6] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: They have not and do not plan on nuclear weapons. Thats part of why this nonsense is so fucking dumb. We bombed them anyways.
[+5] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Bulls will ask what happened by 10 am tomorrow
[+5] u/Randomname1157: The Trump administration is genius though. They put out fake news and it pumps and even though it's fake it doesn't go all the way back to where it was before the fake news Even though the situation is the same or even a little worse.
[+5] u/modder9: How long before Bols zoom out and realize shit is fucked?
[+5] u/dontslambro: 80 million regarded people
[+5] u/Icebxrg_: Fuck it , bought 1dte puts at close
[+5] u/Perfect_Painter_7863: HOOD and MSFT ruined my life
[+5] u/Lapidated_Llama: Genuinely going to go long rope. All my gains completely wiped
[+5] u/31andnotdone: release your inner bitches, feel the rage on your skin
[+5] u/blumpkinspatch: Nice I made 10gs today. Selling crack to kids
[+5] u/SouthNice7324: Today managed to be long and pointless at the same time
[+5] u/Big_Living8594: MSFT is possibly the worst MAG7 stock this year
[+5] u/Outrageous_Method432: Going all in to MICROSOFT shares safe?
[+5] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: You can thank your precious 🏳️🌈🥭 for nuking your port if you were in calls.
Algos tweak every time he “truths”
[+5] u/Murky-Gas-7976: The war is being fought economically: we are in the trenches
[+5] u/cevapi_jelopy: We’re making 2 deals every minute we’ll be fine
[+5] u/orangeyougladiator: Made one bet today. $100k 0DTE before the final pump/dump. Sold for $205k, max value was $360k. Contract ended at $0. Days like this are so fun.
[+5] u/9tacos: Only 1032 days left 🤣
[+5] u/poozyfloor: HOOD doing buybacks…over 3 YEARS!!
[+5] u/Illustrious-Low4128: 1300 of puts at close once again
[+5] u/cevapi_jelopy: Why is chipotle down didnt they just drop a new lettuce strain?
[+5] u/Valkorion335786: Pete Hegseth personally reviewing my K/D ratio in Battlefield 6 to determine if I should be drafted
[+5] u/Recent_Register_2952: i come to wsb for all of the most accurate geopolitical takes
[+5] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: Omg I finally own calls at the right time
[+5] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: PUMP IT UP WAR IS OVER
[+5] u/Murky-Gas-7976: Lmao stock market index are meme coin
[+5] u/Amazing_Plankton744: Ceasefire of one month while we gather our forces and attack in 3 weeks
[+5] u/donkeybray: GOOG and MSFT are down 2℅ because the investors are too smart to know the situation is not looking good, compared to TSLA, up 1℅.
[+5] u/vik0096: 🥭 never lies lets goooo
[+5] u/Ghost-1969: Last week we've completely destroyed Iran ×10
This week we've reached peace with Iran x10
[+5] u/apex_17: You can’t make this shit up.
[+5] u/rollinhating: How many times can a fucker lie? and people gonna swallow it like it was the last drop of water on earth?
[+5] u/DragonFruit-_-777: WAR IS OVER LOL GGS BEARS
[+5] u/csr8765: Congrats call holders. Except for MSFT call holders, your stock will still be flat to down tomorrow
[+5] u/Previous_Hope_2087: It’s over guys. Guess bers will have to wait another 2 weeks for the next global crisis
[+5] u/Ghost-1969: If Walter Bloomberg doesn't tweet it i dont believe it
[+5] u/Shurlak: I hate they do it aftermarket, my stocks would jump 4% if it was during market hours instead I get a 1% and that's it
[+5] u/kalakesri: Suez canal can do the funniest thing
[+5] u/boo__radlib: this is so cap, on god
[+5] u/Suicidesdoor: There’s no way Iran agrees to a ceasefire, if they do they deserve everything coming
[+5] u/Bilbo_Butthole: I'm not seeing this news anywhere lol
[+5] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Didn't israel ask for a ceasefire earlier only to turn around and violate that cease fire days later?
[+5] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: This is Israel asking to pause because they're busy stealing Lebanon and Irans missiles are actually hurting them. I'd sell your lotto calls by open🦧
[+5] u/Bxdwfl: What kinda fuckass tweet did he fire off this time
[+5] u/Low_Plastic363: I don't know what fooled the algos, but something did.
[+5] u/burtburtburtcg: You know someone here just bought at 659 on full leverage
[+5] u/Cool-Run-245: Buy uso calls tomorrow
[+5] u/cryptohorn: My head is spinning from all the fuckery
[+5] u/burtburtburtcg: Anyone have the track record on Israeli cease fires?
[+5] u/Marshmallowmind2: I can't find anything about this ceasefire on reputable news outlets. Bbc news, aljazeera, guardian
[+5] u/Waste-Head7963: Incoming retards disguised as war experts saying Iran won’t agree to a ceasefire.
[+5] u/Special-Age6210: One of these days you will wake up... the wife and kids will be gone . multiple limit down circuit breakers ... blood in the streets...
and your Calls? fucking worthless
[+5] u/Wall_St_Bussy: “Make sure the news comes out right after HOOD extended options market closes, Don”
[+5] u/Stealthless: Holy TACO Tuesday 🤣😂
[+5] u/camel_crush_menthol_: If that list of requests for a treaty are real there is 0 chance it gets agreed upon. Basically "We win everything, you get nothing". Not sure that's how this works.
[+5] u/Illustrious-Low4128: All in all if this holds, very funny way to lose a thousand bucks in puts. Bought at close and the market just gives me an instant f you.
[+5] u/Sonyooo: This shit was so obvious who tf fell for it?
[+5] u/Fragrant_Invite5947: Did we talk about the Nugget dude driving a car and shooting someone, while also being a pro corn hole player today? It has to be a sign to buy calls right?
[+5] u/MissMatriarch: Every market we’ll ever trade in after 🥭 will be mere peanuts, compared to this rollercoaster.
Unless y’know.. Y’all make the wrong choice AGAIN.
[+5] u/the_mind_goblin1: One of these pumps is going to be real soon, and you're going to try to buy puts on the way up. Be really fucking careful in case a real ceasefire is announced.
[+5] u/_ThisDickAintFree_: Moves tomorrow are ceviche and some Modelos.
[+5] u/Sidney_Godsby: Is this something we’d do if we were working on a cease fire?
https://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/s/IC2VNiWXOV
🥭just pumping on lies, again
[+5] u/FuzzyStable2974: Crazy that mango has managed to meme stock the entire SP 500
[+5] u/SAnderson1986: Clauses of proposed agreement
* Dismantling Iran's Existing Nuclear Capabilities
* Iran vows to "never seek" nuclear weapons
* Preventing the enrichment of any nuclear material on Iranian territory
* Delivery of enriched uranium to IAEA
* Decommissioning and destroying the sites of Natanz, Isfahan and Fordow
* Grant the IAEA full access to all information
* Iran abandons 'proxies' approach
* Stopping funding and arming militias in the region
* Keeping the Strait of Hormuz open without any closure
* Postponement of decision on ballistic missile program
* Ballistic missiles are only used for defence
* Lifting all sanctions on Iran
* Support for the development of a civilian nuclear program in Bushehr
* Automatically cancel the threat of reimposition of sanctions
Source: [https://x.com/LiveSquawk/status/2036540900575453656](https://x.com/LiveSquawk/status/2036540900575453656)
[+5] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: I love how this rally is happening while I'm getting news notifications regarding 3,000 US Airborne personnel being sent to the Middle East
[+5] u/callsonreddit: "Wait not done yet"
The Israeli military wants several more weeks to fight Iran war, officials say
[https://www.npr.org/2026/03/24/nx-s1-5759317/israel-iran-war](https://www.npr.org/2026/03/24/nx-s1-5759317/israel-iran-war)
[+5] u/Prudent-Feedback935: Top 15 things that will never happen
[+5] u/VisualMod: You already have a bet going - TSLA to 500.0 before 11-May-2026 10:29 PM -05
[+53] u/Whoopziedaisy: Mango’s market manipulation makes pelosi’s insider trading look like shoplifting a block of cheese
[+41] u/ConstantAd1: **BREAKING: US negotiators Dennis Rodman, Steven Seagal secure Iranian commitment to open the Strait of Hormuz to all vessels**
[+38] u/hv876: There are simultaneous reports of 3000 troops being deployed and 12-point peace plan. I am once again asking to be included in the right signal chat. My kids will thank you.
[+30] u/bearhunter429: #Mango wants to make peace with Iran and get out of this mess but Israel won't let him LMAO🤌
[+30] u/oldprecision: Did anyone tell Iran about the ceasefire?
[+27] u/sailortyx56: Does Iran know that they have agreed to a 1 month ceasefire???
[+24] u/briballdo: US is begging for some sort of symbolic W and Iran is literally like come send your troops to us, we ain't done.
[+22] u/RogerBalderer: Trump is negotiating with literally no one
[+22] u/shortitforever: These “war is over” headlines pump it less and less each time
[+22] u/trainwreck001: WHY CALL A CEASEFIRE WHEN YOU ALREADY OBLITERATED YOUR ENEMIES ARMY AND WEAPONS CAPABILITY?
LOL
[+21] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: You have been saying this same sentence for like the past four hours
[+20] u/WSB-mods-are-: My "Horny for Hormuz" shirts are not selling well and I think Etsy is about to take my store down
[+20] u/ExcitingPackage1301: where is this 30 day ceasefire everyone is saying, i can't find any link to any news outlets
[+19] u/rnbwshrm: Ceasefire airborne marines underway
[+19] u/Overall-Fold-9720: If this ceasefire is true, I still have worries about the ability of one particular country to respect it.
And it ain't Iran.
[+19] u/Street-Badger: Invasion starts Friday 1 minute after close.
[+19] u/Swiftnice: Ceasefire proposal right now seems like a bitch move especially since only 1 side came up with it and sent it off like divorce papers lol
[+19] u/Vort3x7689: Im a bol but perma bols are regarded. You really are cheering on this fake peace when all evidence points to boots on the ground
[+18] u/KlBAS: Trump: we have reached talks with Iran, up 2%
Iran: no we haven’t we’re keeping strait closed, down .3%
[+18] u/JohtoFan: Plot twist: Mango's "negotiations" are just a facade meant to buy time while US forces prepare to strike again on Friday after markets close in a big repeat of exactly what led up to the initial war breaking out.
[+18] u/housemouse431: this action is just exhausting. i dont even hold option positions beyond 30-40 mins these days just bc of the nonstop adhd news cycle we live in.
i miss sleepy joe.
[+18] u/softboiledjadepotato: I know the house always wins, but these routine fake news pump n dumps is next level
[+17] u/SoloOutdoor: Yeah i might be done with the standard and manipulation 500
[+17] u/NewDawn101: The war has ended again for the 6th time
[+17] u/SSkilledJFK: Once again, in the past two hours, 🥭 has said the war is won and Iran has given a “tremendous” financial gift related to Hormuz. And, of course, there are no details. Then says Hegseth doesn’t want a truce deal.
> 🥭 called it a “good attitude” to have – which doesn’t really make sense given his repeated claims that the US and Iran are talking and it’s going very well. They were not interested in settlement,” he said of Hegseth and Caine. “They were interested in just winning this thing.”
What in the ever living fuck.
[+16] u/ConstantAd1: SPY 700 EOW and then a ground invasion over the weekend
[+16] u/Unhappy-Ad-2609: Lets forget the noise and be factual. - strait is still closed. -The strikes are still going on. -0 progress to any peace/ceasefire confirmed by the 3 country involved. More soldier heading towards iran. Puts it is.
[+16] u/Wowmuchrya: IRAN GAVE US A PRESENT, AND IS TOTALLY NEGOTIATING, BUT CANT TELL YOU WHO IT IS OR WHAT THE GIFT IS
OIL GO DOWN NOW AND SPY UP PLEASE
Retarded
[+16] u/defordj: I had no idea that "negotiating against yourself" was such a prominent part of The Art of The Deal
[+15] u/Brilliant_Object_847: You really think someone would do that? Just go on the Internet and tell lies?
[+15] u/YouDontKnowDino: Bro is seriously trying to do the tariff stategy of pushing it back a month 😂😂😂
[+15] u/Kashabowiekid: lol 🥭 is getting increasingly desperate to end this war. I think Iran is actually winning it because this is exactly what they tried to cause. If the US doesn’t get out of this, they’re 10 year treasury bonds gonna go over 5% and it’s going to wreak havoc on everything.
[+15] u/Independent-Tree-985: > https://cryptonews.net/news/finance/32600937/
>> According to Israel-based Channel 12 television, a one-month ceasefire with Iran is being planned as part of diplomatic contacts between the US and regional actors.
Yeah, crypto news is the news source I trust 🙄
[+15] u/neo-futurism: I’ll laugh so hard when this pump comes back down and ceasefire is declared another fake news by Iran
[+15] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: “There’s no cases”
“It won’t be anything!”
“It’s going to zero very fast!”
“Nothing to worry about!”
Sound familiar? LMAO
[+15] u/Bludeagle: Let me guess. There was mad volume 5 minutes before the announcement again?
[+15] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: Even if the 15 point plan is real, I would just like to point out it's the same x-point plan format he used in Ukraine... Look how well that's worked out.
[+14] u/Flashy-Finger-8600: All these government douchebags should be prosecuted for stock market manipulation
[+14] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: Wanna hear my 15 point plan? I’ll at least tell you the first few
1. Bol r fuk
2. Bol super fuked
3. Market ghey and fake
[+14] u/bearhunter429: #Iran's present is a painting of mango as a muscular dude (AI generated) LMAO🤌
[+14] u/ConstantAd1: I sent Jennifer Lawrence my proposal to marry me, awaiting her response now
[+14] u/LarryStink: 3. Agreement with Iran... Iran vows to "never seek" nuclear weapons
4. Preventing the enrichment of any nuclear material on Iranian territory
5. Delivery of enriched uranium to IAEA
6. Decommissioning and destroying the sites of Natanz, Isfahan and Fordow
7. Grant the IAEA full access to all
information
8. Iran abandons 'proxies' approach
9. Stopping funding and arming militias in the region
10. Keeping the Strait of Hormuz open without any closure
11. Postponement of decision on ballistic missile program
12. Ballistic missiles are only used for defense
Iran will agree to 0 of these proposals. Nothing has changed and when iran refuses the ceasefire you bet your ass we are tanking because tomorrow or Thursday they make ground invasion finalized.
[+14] u/Hang_Man1: guys calm down. Both your puts and calls are fucked
[+13] u/theInquisitivePanda: ISRAELI CHANNEL 12: ONE-MONTH CEASEFIRE TO BE ANNOUNCED UNDER MECHANISM BEING DEVELOPED BY WITKOFF & KUSHNER
This market is crazy.. pumping and dumping every hour on some random news.
[+13] u/bearhunter429: #List of stupid countries: USA. End of list. LMAO🤌
[+13] u/softboiledjadepotato: "productive talks",
"ceasefire"..
what term they gonna use next to psyche out these Roomba-ass trading bots?
[+13] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: Bools on the ground this weekend
[+13] u/potgoblin5: bigfoot and sephiroth are currently in tehran negotiating the biggest deals, says israel tv
[+13] u/Swiftnice: There is no way Iran is taking this deal. They think they're winning and want to humiliate 🥭 lol
[+13] u/Overall-Fold-9720: >It all starts with never getting a nuclear weapon...they've agreed. THEY WILL NEVER have a nuclear weapon.
Did someone inform Iran about this ?
[+12] u/PositiveEdge4361: I make in a year what you make in a month bitch
[+12] u/MyCactusTeacher: lmao imagine getting juked by unconfirmed reports
[+12] u/Suspicious_Ad9833: So Israel's iron dome has nearly run out and they are asking for 1 month to restock it? Surely Iran will agree
[+12] u/solidsneeze: seas on fire, not ceasefire
[+12] u/Swiftnice: Wait he just sent them a ceasefire deal but they haven't even agreed to it or acknowledged it? Sounds like he is lying to buy time
[+12] u/lobsterspider: When you market manipulate so hard that everyone just pulls out of the market and it dumps even bigger
[+12] u/Overall-Fold-9720: Pakistan yesterday: "if the US attacks us, we nuke India! " 😠
Pakistan today: "you can come have your peace talk in my home, I'll prepare tea" 😊
[+12] u/Successful-Pass-568: Market is pricing in an actual end of the conflict…. NOT A CEASEFIRE.
So take that as you will…. down we will go end of week
[+12] u/Retaining-Wall: Plot twist of the century: Ever Given attempts to transit the Strait and blocks it off.
[+12] u/Fantastic_Welcome_61: S&P closes below 200-day moving average
https://youtu.be/M-TYB-IYb-U?si=zyXgpJqP0tgrbs9Z
[+12] u/Disc0Disc0Disc0: Why would Iran agree to a ceasefire when the US is destroying their own economy lol
[+11] u/Cav829: I'd like to remind silver bols they're all pansies for still whining about JP Morgan's market manipulation.
THIS is market manipulation.
[+11] u/Excellent-Koala3873: As a 🌈🐻 part of me thinks Iran is going to come out and say the war won’t end until 🥭 is out of office and the US pulls out all military assets in the region.
[+11] u/Trader0721: This was better when you had human traders to sift thru bullshit….algos buying any and anything on truth social
[+11] u/tombrady011235: I don't understand why Gameshit investors are so sensitive. Just admit you got bamboozled five years ago, there would be a lot more dignity in it
[+11] u/AgeMiddle854: This feels like Pete Hegseth just wrote ceasefire on a bomb or some shit, as a cool joke.
Anyway, opening red tomorrow
[+11] u/Zeppu: I hope it keeps going up a bit more so I can >!SELL EVERYTHING AND GET OUT.!<
[+11] u/Ok-Organization1796: What the bulls are not acknowledging is that mango can taco all he wants, but he cannot artificially open the strait. Oil will not lie. And this shit is just not going to get better. It's going to get a lot worse.
Boots on the ground won't even work, at least not right away. They're going to have to secure 100s of miles of coastline to be able to guarantee that not a single missile will hit the strait. That's not even really possible.
Oil will go up. Prices will go up. Company values will go down.
[+11] u/soup4br3kfast: Red by open. These fake pumps are getting old.
[+11] u/Responsible-Rip8793: ***IF THE MARKET IS CONSISTENTLY RETARDED AND IM STILL FAILING TO MAKE MONEY, DOES THAT MAKE ME RETARDED? 🤔***
[+11] u/Whoopziedaisy: Fake ceasefire news (we have seen this before). Ceasefires nearly impossible to implement.
Fake pump for market to dump on retail before the weekend. Get ready for a choppy 3-6 months
[+11] u/Dull_Broccoli1637: The big dawg made their money with the pump. Now that the retail donkeys bought, they make more with a market dump.
There's the dupers, and the dupees. You're the dupees.
[+11] u/Slightlybadpicks: I’m a bull and even I’m saying man fuck this pump. We had a pump yesterday and drilled today.
[+10] u/AvocadoPurees: Its back to back to back cease fire talks and news to pump market last couple of days. Seems mms REALLY don't want puts to print
[+10] u/JakeSal10: Bears unfortunately do seem more logically grounded than bulls.
[+10] u/ozz3121: Yeah, so we TOTALLY have a ceasefire coming. Just ignore all the guys in those cute little uniforms we're loading on boats and planes. We're DEFINITELY not sending them anywhere near the Middle East!
[+10] u/TheMightySet69: *Concepts of a ceasefire*
[+10] u/JernauG: Man trading is oil is no fun
[+10] u/cow_grass: another ruse by the mango supreme. Its another great time to short. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
[+10] u/borkdpasito: You guys realise Iran’s whole strategy is to crash the stock market and pump oil.
That is why the US are trying to fight back with manipulation.
[+10] u/Dull_Broccoli1637: *Microsoft CEO: The biggest obstacle to expanding artificial intelligence is persuading people to change the way they work.*
"Hey, we need to make revenue so we need you to use this shitty AI or else."
[+10] u/PalsRocksMyWorld: If the war is won then why are we sending in the 82nd airborne?
Answer: 🥭 is and always will be a fucking liar and the market is leveraged to the tits so he can manipulate it for rich friends.
Have a great day, regards.
[+10] u/River_Sandhu: 🥭’s 15 point plan sounds an awful lot like Michael Scott’s 40 point plan…
[+10] u/killerbeeswaxkill: Dump at open tomorrow or mid day for sure but it’s a definite dump day.
[+10] u/Ahthongkorkor: curious why iran isnt responding
[+10] u/definatelynotme321: I got merked today m8, absolutely obliterated.
[+10] u/Independent-Tree-985: Banks are desperate to keep you buying the kool aid
[+9] u/Overall-Fold-9720: The market wouldn't fall for the same trick 2 days in a row, right ?
[+9] u/BenisSpaghetti: #The boy who cried Hormuz.
[+9] u/noahmfs: Israel always delivers on their promises they will be bombing the shit out of Iran in half a day from now
[+9] u/neo-futurism: Fake pump had no effect. It’s again falling back and crude is again rising. Not very stable geniuses.
[+9] u/inevitable_fallen: This time news came at 4:15 that's perfect
[+9] u/JakeSal10: This volatility is fucking unbelievable man. People really think we’re hitting ATH soon 😂😂😂
[+9] u/Nagalavonpelt: Is the straight of Hormuz closed….YES
Are missiles still flying ….YES
is the war still going on…. YES
Mango 🥭 Talking shit….. YES
Framework of a deal…. market pumps
The market is disconnected from reality, NOTHING HAS CHANGED
Get back to me when the first three are a NO, mango 🥭 always talking shit never gunna change
[+9] u/ConstantEfficiency83: Anyone else feel like this is all to suck in retail
[+9] u/trainwreck001: STRAIT OF HORMUZ DIDN'T GET THE MEMO
LOL
[+9] u/Urzuck: Lol this is so fake and gay, they'll never accept that, but it's amazing how open this whole market manipulation and corruption has been so far.
[+9] u/TrickyDickCheney: Never seen the market so obviously manipulated
[+9] u/pinghing: No politics
The market:
[+9] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: Boobs on the ground soon
[+9] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: Guysss I posted here 3 months ago saying I started my IG profile where I post my photography content and I was hyped cause I got 30 followers… well this week I hit 28k without sponsoring a single post nor following anyone! Im so hyyyyyyped 🙌
[+9] u/inconsistentsavant: I mean gold is up…I’m going to enjoy that for twelve minutes while it lasts
[+9] u/boraboca: More market manipulation, if you read the 15 point agreement proposal you would know there are things on there Iran would never agree too
[+9] u/ConstantEfficiency83: If you ever feel like it’s too late or you’ll never reach you goals, just remember if you’re over 30 it’s probably true
[+9] u/laurencenor: Hot take. I don't think all the MAG7 will make new ATHs again. Only some will.
[+9] u/Important_Yoghurt722: I hope everyone takes their money out of the market tomorrow after that blatant maniuplation.
[+9] u/pandadrizzle: How cool is it to watch one of the most successful criminals of all time tip the markets up and down at his whim?
[+9] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: the 15 points for cease fire truly looks like some AI - Grok/Chat Gpt response.
Like wtf.. the chances will be almost zero.
[+9] u/Ready-Tennis8577: Nothing like getting home from your job .05 miles away and getting right into bed
[+9] u/skychief99: Nope....Sorry....Not Buying It.
[+8] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #why are comments being removed? I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICAN
[+8] u/bboyrawn: Yall missing the big picture. . . These tweets are to keep us10y from exceeding 4.5%. Last few days of news release coincide with yields approaching 4.5%.
One of these days market gonna stop believing and yields gonna blow up. Taking the entire market down with it.
[+8] u/drpa1n: Market won’t climb until oil goes down. Oil won’t go down before the strait is opened. Strait wont open until they put boots on the ground or make concessions so big 🥭 will lose his whole orange face
[+8] u/MyCactusTeacher: why would iran surrender when the US hasnt won any major war since WW2
[+8] u/abroadbroadband: Barrels of oil together, strong
🛢️🛢️🛢️🛢️🛢️
[+8] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: Only brainless entities buying (algos and bulls) LMAO
[+8] u/Worth-Walk6265: The IRGC “we will not negotiate with the aggressor until they withdraw from the Middle East entirely” is gonna nuke this pump. Pull out your sack and sit back.
[+8] u/Competitive_Ride: I feel like he just declares things immediately and fucks it up. It’s like if TMZ was president
[+8] u/happy_accountant123: So we went down $2 intra day and now we pump $4 after hours. Either way your puts or calls are all going to lose to theta gang.
[+8] u/jraiv420: Call the ambulance, but not for me 🐻🔫🐂
[+8] u/AgeMiddle854: I just sent Bryce Dallas Howard a 15 point plan for dating me
[+8] u/Suspicious_Ad9833: Imo Israel's gone early on mangos taco, he won't like this one bit, he wanted Thursday or Friday before screwing talks with boots on the ground.
[+8] u/Independent-Tree-985: uh oh, Truth Social has become a fifth graders science fair project.
How about some sources on those delightfully daytime tv graphics
[+8] u/MasterElite1: Iran will reject ceasefire and then US will use it as grounds to invade
[+8] u/AirwickS: If the rumor is true, they’ll need to hammer out 15 points and get Israel onboard.
This pump isn’t going to last long.
[+8] u/33-sunshines: All this to end up .03%
[+8] u/Retaining-Wall: [vague unsourced headline]
[+8] u/InIce1234: Why the salty eyes Bear?
[+8] u/briballdo: Is the AI bubble really popping right as we do boots on the ground, that's insane
[+8] u/Retaining-Wall: ***BREAKING:*** Market likely to respond to some sentiment in the coming days. New highs or lows expected. The leader of one of the countries is quoted as saying "things happened." Oil prices moved in a direction. This is the first development since the last development since the beginning of developments in this situation.
[+8] u/civillyRange: How many times we gunna fall for this
Peace treaty framework concept of a deal special secret handshake entire middle east all saying different things Israel needs "2 more weeks" but the war is officially over PUMP IT
Oh and kushner is gunna be there too so expect Salmon man to be making demands
[+8] u/Dry-Operation6112: Oh my god... I set up claude and their new update earlier today. Been messing around with it and learning how to get use out of it. I am genuinely heart broken. It is very easy to see how this can take my job by next year. I set it up with my chrome account and it basically can enter and close work orders on google sheets for me exactly how I ask it to. And I only had to explain the proper way of doing it once. Society is so fucked over the next 2-3 years. Literally we are going to have to reinvent what it means to be a productive member of society. This should have alarm bells ringing in every politician, working adult, and college student's minds around the world. Holy fuck man.
[+8] u/OrdinaryMix4013: crazy shite when you cant tell who the good guys are
[+8] u/BigShmokeBuffer: Listen, we had calls with Tim Iran, we had some great discussions, some people in the room couldn’t believe 👐 how great the discussions were, they were saying “Wow! 👐 These are amazing discussions, just the best discussions I’ve ever been part of”… and we have some of the best people on this, really, the greatest people. And he’s desperate to make a deal, he offered us the best gift, just incredible and I said “Tim, I knew we had the right guy!” 👐
[+8] u/sirbob52: Oil seems skeptical. Is the market...learning?
[+8] u/SaaSGrass: You got some nerve callin me on Shabbat
[+8] u/LostMyMag: Well, Iran just launched so I guess that is a no
[+8] u/Suspicious_Ad9833: Imo trump is torn between boots on the ground and war and saving the global economy. It's escalated so much now for him that there are no good options, media reporting Saudis MBS is pushing him to finish the job.
[+8] u/bearhunter429: #Breaking News: Iran agreed to join America as its 51st state LMAO🤌
[+8] u/kryptonyk: We must have unconditional surrender!
We will bomb your power plants!
Jk how about a ceasefire tho?
[+7] u/jraiv420: 🥭 delivered tacos for taco Tuesday
[+7] u/VincenteThomp: Did 🥭 lie again? Why are we pumping?
[+7] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: I'm curious if this is actually fake news or if it's like the walter Bloomberg situation again
[+7] u/borkdpasito: Tick tick bols
American hegemony on thin ice. Oil pumping again
Nobody trusts any source except Iranian officials
[+7] u/JakeSal10: After whatever bullshit just happened to SPY you bet your ass I’m all in on calls tomorrow
[+7] u/bearhunter429: #Why are futures pumping again? (not that I didn't predict this) LMAO🤌
[+7] u/trainwreck001: I DON'T THINK MONGO UNDERSTANDS WHAT HOLY WAR MEANS.
[+7] u/StandardDot5115: algo read 15 point plan and decided to pump spy by 15 pts
[+7] u/Retaining-Wall: The fuck's this Mickey mouse-ass market.
[+7] u/Character_Pirate_152: After Pearl Harbor, were the Americans looking for a ceasefire deal with the Japanese? No. The whole conversation right now regarding the war doesn't make a bit of sense. Iran has been antagonized for 70 years by the USA and now they finally have an opportunity to inflict a whole lot of suffering on the US and we are supposed to think they want a ceasefire? They will certainly do what they can to ruin the economy.
[+7] u/hv876: GOOG is in correction territory, which means the people who have been wanting a dip won’t buy. But next year when it is 450, will cry for a dip.
[+7] u/PeeOnDusk: Khamenei just heard "seize F.I.R.E." and said "nah I'm already oil rich and don't plan to retire early"
ww3 back on the menu boys
[+7] u/Common_Ad_3059: A month ceasefire, truly a masterclass from 🥭 to manipulate the markets
[+7] u/Voltthrower69: How are all these ai companies going to be making money when subscriptions stop when no one can afford anything
[+7] u/punxphil27: Jim Cramer just said the market is still in a downward trend
[+7] u/Zeppu: How long can you sustain a market by publishing a burp shortly after the close?
[+7] u/Typical_Tank_4674: More bullshit ceasefire
[+7] u/stock_dude9: All we need now is another Suez Canal block and I’m pretty sure we mega fkd
[+7] u/Feisty-Basis7903: SP to 700 tomorrow or what?
[+7] u/Odd-Block-2998: Bing bang bing bang on your retirement accounts since Apr 2025. But have you said thank you?
[+7] u/Red_Zone_Broly: So if iran just comes out and says they now have nukes, does America just quietly leave and pretend nothing happened?
[+7] u/sirbob52: US official says 3,000 troops from 82nd Airborne expected to deployed to Middle East
A US official has told Al Jazeera that three battalions from the 82nd Airborne Division, comprising about 3,000 troops, are expected to be deployed to the Middle East.
However, the official said that no formal order has yet been issued for the deployment.
The 82nd Airborne Division is capable of deploying within 18 hours of receiving orders, the official said.
18 hours!?!
[+7] u/Ok_Material3073: Guys! I bet he is not lying this time! Fool me once shame on you. Fool me 35,678 times shame on me.
[+7] u/soup4br3kfast: Makes no sense for.ira to accept a 1 month ceasefire. Dumb bols wouldl pump a bike wheel if it were traded
[+7] u/kim82352: > Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner are working on a deal structure similar to previous Gaza and Lebanon agreements, Israeli Channel 12 reported. Negotiations on a 15-point plan would take place during the proposed month-long halt in fighting.
> The 15-point plan includes provisions for granting the International Atomic Energy Agency full access to all information and the handover of enriched uranium to the agency, according to Israeli Channel 12.
> The New York Times reported that the United States sent Iran a 15-point plan to end the war in the Middle East. The plan was delivered through Pakistan, whose army chief has become a key intermediary between the two countries, officials said.
[+6] u/BrownDog42069: do you think maybe one of trumps aides just set him up to talk to a random wh staffer with a Middle East accent and that’s where all this negotiating is coming from? similar to creed posting to his creed thoughts word document. this would explain why he can’t say who he’s talking to in the Iran leadership and also why Iran keeps rebuking it. im pretty sure this is what’s happening
[+6] u/sadcringe: Nor can I but the market apparently can
[+6] u/Coley44: 10 year tbills got a little too high so they're pushing out more BS LMAO. In any case I was happy to add MSFT at such a cheap price
[+6] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: I think the source is John Barron LMAO
[+6] u/borrokalaria: The question is: are the Iranians even aware of the "One Month Ceasefire," or is it just another TACO pump?
[+6] u/NaluknengBalong_0918: What the hell is happening… i thought ghey bears had the wheel?! 😟
[+6] u/zestykite: looks like market doubts too
[+6] u/caliwillbemine: This is all a nice signal of what will happen on anything official resembling progress to stability.
Bears be warned. Shrek will come even if it’s after all infrastructure is toast and it’s delusional.
[+6] u/jamieperkins9999: How many more bull traps you guys gona fall for
[+6] u/mechajlaw: How long can Trump pretend to end the war before the market has to tank anyway?
[+6] u/ItsHighNoonBang: I just full ported silver. Pls dont be a fake pump
[+6] u/Moepenmoes: I need to borrow more money to invest in MSFT
[+6] u/looool_k_libtard: Love the days where Google, not the profitless growth companies that suck since October, crushes your portfolio.
[+6] u/Pale-Silver-8178: Oil dump and QQQ pumping bulls keep printing
[+6] u/lessoninprogress: I fucking hate this guy
[+6] u/TomatoSpecialist6879: Market will go up if we all simply just forget about the war
[+6] u/betaforever: my mental health needs a ceasefire
[+6] u/rnbwshrm: I swear, these desperate pumplies will make the inevitable correction so much worse, bulls for the love of god just let it go down easy...
[+6] u/Icy_Jelly_315: Boots on the ground is crazy talk. If you parachute amerifats onto kharg island they are going to learn quite soon that "up shit creek without a paddle" is not just a lame ass metaphor
[+6] u/Enygma_tik: UNH is never recovering is it? FML what a bad decision it was to buy leaps smh
[+6] u/Quartertipsy: The market wasn't even crashing today. Maybe it was on track to crash tomorrow?
But something about the timing is suspect. If the big attack was going to be on Saturday, he would have kept some bs drypowder for Thurs/Fri
Either he wants his friends to get out at a higher level, or shit's about to go down tonight.
[+6] u/Basic-Kale3169: Anyone investing in any casket company?
[+6] u/Carfar_Farcar: I love being down 4% on my BNO calls after hours thanks to just straight up fiction.
[+6] u/pineapplekiwipen: MSFT is rapidly going bankrupt or at least that's what I'm assuming based on price action
[+6] u/neo-futurism: We have boots on ground, no deals and more fighting tonight. I wish this was not the case, but elect a clown expect a circus.
[+6] u/betaforever: Anyone ask what's Ja Rule got to say about this?
[+6] u/Avocadonot: Ok war is over, what's the next scare
Bonds? Yen carry trade? Inflation? Something else that isn't real?
Maybe we'll go back to tariffs or epstein
[+6] u/syedhuda: as a ber i gotta say THIS MARKET IS PISSIN ME OFF
[+6] u/Me-Regarded: Ceasefire means they ARE talking and ber saying it was all fake... We're in fact wrong this whole time.
In the fog of war you can not believe anything said. How many times did the US say this was going to be the biggest bombing night and nothing happened. Yesterday Iran said Israel better be ready for a devastating surprise tonight...nothing happened.
Too many of you are young and have not lived through wars. I'm old, this is all so predictable actually
[+6] u/IJustWantaQuietLife1: Don’t worry my fellow gay bears, just a fake pump. See you all in the morning 🫡🫡
[+6] u/2muchnet42day: I had a very GOOD TALK with IRAN, very NICE, very SMART GUY. They will soon deliver the new PEACE PRIZE they just AWARDED ME. I never asked for a peace prize but I TOTALLY DESERVED IT. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
[+6] u/Suspicious_Ad9833: Just read the vague announcement on twitter, if that's the reason for the pump, omg, it like a thought bubble from krushner.
[+6] u/punxphil27: Apparently a loud bang was reported in Michael Burry’s office today in the minutes after the market closed
[+6] u/No_Current3675: Think about it. One fateful hamberder and we see SPY 725.
[+6] u/Character_Pirate_152: There isn't a ceasefire. Wtf are you guys talking about ?
[+6] u/TreeofLibertyFood: I’m just a standard poor. Can I have $500?
[+6] u/slimeystevebob: Iran will ask for $2T in reparations, mark my words
[+6] u/GuyFaulks77: 🥭 loves destroying bears after hours LMAO
[+6] u/Aggressive_Bit_91: Iran is actually dumb if they take their foot off the pedal.
[+6] u/Better-Call-SauI: I was watching some FOX News and even they seem panicked and have lost their faith in 🥭. We might actually see a dot-com bubble style collapse this year due to 🥭 incompetence.
[+5] u/No_Image_1122: Why is msft so beaten down ?
[+5] u/lamechud: this is the worst deal of all time in what world does Iran accept this 😂
[+5] u/MadHat0815: The new golden age of ~~America~~ insider trading and fraud!
[+5] u/ILoveWesternCenter: It’s always the same regards that fall for the fake news 🤣🤣
[+5] u/PapitoMusk: Haha you guys falling for Donald Pump again?
[+5] u/Due-Information-6277: wtf happened now lol
[+5] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: For the sake of our service members I hope there’s a ceasefire. But I want to hear it from literally any reliable source
[+5] u/rnbwshrm: Time for the algo's and bulls believing these lies to start losing some serious money
[+5] u/PositiveEdge4361: BARACK hussein OBAMA
[+5] u/GrandBarnacle575: Gotta love them pumping it back up right before the 10yr gets to 4.5%
[+5] u/looool_k_libtard: Ordered a 2 liter of Pepsi from DoorDash and it was $173 plus tip
[+5] u/mankey21: I've lost a shit load of money over the last two days but I'm not posting it here for you sickos.
[+5] u/RaybanQA: Ahh Iran put a tariff on the straight of hormoze. 2 million dollars to pass.
[+5] u/Mysterious_Sock_7085: Calls here, Oil calls I mean
[+5] u/HandsOnTheBible: Israel literally announced they are going to take 10% of Lebanon's land by force and the markets are still circlejerking to rumors of a rumor. You really think Bibi is going to leave something like that on the table? There's no such thing as peace for Iran or Lebanon with Bibi at the helm.
[+5] u/volckerwasright: Hello Mr Market here go ur Fell For It Again Award
[+5] u/Excel_Spreadcheeks69: Pumping >!mike hawk rn!<
[+5] u/Quick_Rent_Now: Why didnt he wait until 9:29am to post a pump tweet?
[+5] u/snspro: COOL PRESIDENT YOU GOT THERE MURICANS
[+5] u/Unknown_____-: Buy when green. Sell when red.
[+5] u/Tay_Tay86: **THE BEARS HAVE DISCOVERED THE ANTI-MARKET EQUATION**
[+5] u/kairepaire: There are concepts of one
[+5] u/saccotac: Can’t believe Donnie won another war
[+5] u/enlightenedfarmboy: Strangle seems to be the best move for tomorrow... And no I'm not talking about the option strategy
[+5] u/ScioX: So where the fuck is this supposed report? I don’t see a single news outlet reporting it
[+5] u/OrdinaryMix4013: this shite is so fucking manipulated its amazing
[+5] u/Jealous_Archer_4522: SPY swinging like a penny stock. wtf?
[+5] u/Abject_Wish_3787: It seems insiders know something. (PEACE agreement) 680 by Friday, I think
[+5] u/softboiledjadepotato: That manipulation was "cool as a cucumber"
[+5] u/wattap: Just took my family of 4 to cicis (with drinks) for $28, that’s America baby
[+5] u/inconsistentsavant: Def going to see pump and dumps throughout the week. Friday is the big day.
[+5] u/k3t4mine: Fascinating. Of all the times to rally 3% on suspect headlines with little substance, you’d think this would be it.
[+5] u/Spear_n_Magic_Helmet: cool cool going back to my regularly scheduled disassociation
[+5] u/AfraidAnalyst: Everyone that bought oil today, 😮
[+5] u/OurSeepyD: My only moves tomorrow are bowel moves
[+5] u/zestykite: Shorted es here. Get ready for a face ripper
[+5] u/TexasHazeMaster: Just heard a one month ceasefire rumor
[+5] u/McClintockC: Professional Red Light, Green Light players are trying out for Mango's cabinet as we speak
[+5] u/iiGoodVibesii: We, Microsoft, bag holders are eatting GOOD!
Any other MSFT holders having some boiled ice cubes and ketchup for dinner?
[+5] u/Split_Seconds: Im eating an air sandwich.
[+5] u/Spicyboi981: Lying & corruption are fun til ur not involved
[+5] u/SadDevelopment3049: Massive dump incoming. Headed to the toilet now.
[+5] u/Happy-Champion1661: so we just keep doing this stupid pump and dump on (fake) news
when the fuk this stops, I am sick of this
[+5] u/StrangeInsanity: The market will run on complete hopium from now on. It doesn't matter how many bombs are gonna get dropped and how many people are gonna die. The sentiment has seeped in that "talks might happen and ceasefire is imminent"
[+5] u/Complex-Video-2202: infinite money glitch but with war/ceasefire
[+5] u/PlasticComplexReddit: The market was aladeen today.
[+5] u/Fhyzikz: The strat is to do a long ceasefire and then quietly leave out the back door. The hope is that in a month, everyone will forget about this and we will have moved on to Cuba and ruining my caribbean cruise in May with tomahawk missiles flying overhead. Nice
[+5] u/betaforever: THEY CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS
[+5] u/JakeSal10: Matthew McConoughey: “it’s alll fairy dust”
[+24] u/ProudPeak3570: the goal of the war is now to open the strait of hormuz which was open before the war
Truly a regarded administration
[+22] u/weewoowewoooo: Market when it hears bullshit lies - up 3%
Market when it finds out the lies were bullshit - down .3%
Lmfao
[+19] u/smart_doge: Market during trading hours
〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️〰️ 🦗
Market during non trading hours
📈📈📉📉📉📈📈📉📈📉📈📉📈📈
[+18] u/laddie78: So market pumped on a concept of a ceasefire that Iran hasnt even accepted?
[+17] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: JUST FUCKING MAKE UP YOUR MIND ON PEACE TALKS AND LET THE MARKET PUMP OR DUMP. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER !
[+16] u/ClaytonRook: "Trump Says He Changed His Mind After Iran Gave 'Very Big Present' " I'm being honest here: what the fuck is going on?
[+15] u/Historical_Bother274: Wait we are pumping on the news there is a concept for a peace proposal from the US? What possible reason would Iran have to agree to one
[+15] u/Gullible_Ad3785: No tankers moving but ground troops being sent in.
Sure, peace any day now.
[+15] u/FearlessStatement144: Anyone else see the article in wsj that Iran said no talks he’s just saying that to pump the market
[+14] u/NotRobotNFL: Imagine someone breaks into your house and kill your family. You manage to fight them and have their neck…that person then says they want to come to a mutual agreement. You get to keep your tv and only hand over some cash and he goes off on his way. You sign for that deal?
[+14] u/aa73gc: Is the 15 point plan in the room with us now?
[+14] u/benj760486: Concepts of a ceasefire
[+14] u/met_art: How Iran is launching missiles if they were defeated and obliterated?
Who are they negotiating with if all Iranian commanders and leaders are dead?
🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
[+13] u/Devastaytah: So who wants to bet this scam pump fades by open 🙋♂️
[+12] u/Pury101: WAR IS OVER !!!!..... For the 25th day in a row ....
[+12] u/CulturalConclusion76: 🥭pooping his pants was a strategic signal to his followers of the market top in February
it all makes sense
[+12] u/claytondpark: "excursions" usually don't include death and destruction
One may call a weekend trip to Vegas an excursion, a day trip to the beach, etc...
4 weeks of bombing isn't an "excursion" 🥭 u goon
[+11] u/FuckleUp: Ceasefire proposal eerily similar to my second wifes’
[+11] u/No_Arm_6582: “Iran sent a gift, a really valuable gift, a oil and gas related gift”
Was it half a barrel of crude?
[+11] u/Different_Being368: IRAN REFUSES PEACE TALKS WITH TRUMP'S 'BACKSTABBING' NEGOTIATORS - TELEGRAPH
[+11] u/GoldenAries4: It would be great if there was a deal negotiated where Iran could enrich uranium only enough to be used for fuel and we audited them to make sure they adhered to it.
If we manage to make such a deal I sure would hope no one takes us out of it 🙂
[+11] u/bigmeatbag: It's funny they are talking like there is some peace deal when Whiskey Pete said earlier today, "We negotiate with bombs."
[+11] u/lalyt93: Tomorrow we find out if ground troops are bullish
( I don’t think so)
[+10] u/leeuwvanvlaanderen: Wait, this US proposal is incredible. Not only is essentially a rehash of the JCPOA, it includes full sanction relief, and the US will help them with a civilian nuclear program? Netanyahu must be seething lmao
[+10] u/lilordeo: long oil is free money
[+10] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: No one who said “oil $200” had ever traded oil futures prior to 3 weeks ago.
Watching retail traders pile in at the very top of a commodity market is pretty sad to watch, to be honest.
[+10] u/claytondpark: They prolly sent the 15 pt plan in a PowerPoint presentation like it's a crypto/real estate deal
[+10] u/NotMe357: "U.S. AWAITS IRAN'S RESPONSE ON PEACE SUMMIT AS ISRAEL WATCHES WARILY
The U.S. is waiting on Iran’s response to a possible peace summit as early as Thursday, with mediators involved—but it’s unclear if talks will happen.
TACO wants to wind down the war, but uncertainty remains high. Israel, led by Benjamin Netanyahu, fears a deal that falls short and limits its military options.
Washington says Iran may accept parts of a 15-point plan, including nuclear limits, but there’s no proof and Tehran denies active negotiations.
Meanwhile, the U.S. is preparing for escalation—including troop deployments—while exploring diplomacy. Officials expect at least 2–3 more weeks of fighting as both sides weigh their next move."
--- Walter Bloomberg
[+10] u/Beazt11123: Epic Lays off 1k employees. Crazy
[https://www.epicgames.com/site/en-US/news/todays-layoffs](https://www.epicgames.com/site/en-US/news/todays-layoffs)
[+10] u/fruitloop00001: Oil up tomorrow? This AH feels incredibly fake, there are no real signs of the war cooling down.
[+10] u/Bustcruster: Something something, can stay irrational longer than you can stay solvent.
[+10] u/VillageDull952: Even if the war ended tomorrow. The economy is still shit, even the fake data we are getting is shit. That's something that he truly can't TACO. Sure, cut rates, but then say hello to a whole Pandora's box of other problems
[+10] u/astrawberryandakiwi: My ex is a stupid bitch. Breaks up with me and 3 weeks later, I make 26k gains in a day. Would’ve taken her to Japan all expenses paid lmao
[+10] u/Dis_shite_rite_her: Sold SPY calls yesterday. Bought them back about 10 minutes before close.
I am just going to assume that all my luck for the year was used in that one move.
[+10] u/NotMe357: "Netanyahu is reportedly concerned about the possibility of America reaching a bad deal with Iran, per Israeli media."
[+9] u/RomanJohnWick: Iran should just mine the strait and call it a day
[+9] u/RFKsBrainwormm: Haha all you bulls acting like the US dictates the terms of the war ending, can’t wait to see what Iran thinks of 🥭’s “plan”
[+8] u/Shoganai_Hito: I just received a $0.02 dividend check in the mail.
How to 1000x it?
[+8] u/michaelis999: nothing screams end of war more than boots on the ground.
And you believed this clown when he said the war is ending😂🫵
[+8] u/Ok_Winner9825: turns out the real sleepy joe was the average joe sleeping safe and sound without a worry for his port
[+8] u/Turbulent_South6976: Guys how do you think this war will impact lebron legacy ?
[+8] u/Specialist-Sun-4751: Another day of doing the opposite of you regards and profiting.
[+8] u/RomanJohnWick: Most fraudulent market to exist
[+7] u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister: Someone teach the fucking algos about the concept of "lying"
[+7] u/mmjI: what are the odds Iran accepts this BS lmao
[+7] u/smart_doge: Wow, I didn’t know war has weekly to daily earnings. Only announced in pre-market and after hours.
[+7] u/JaraxxusPS4: What is that a ceasefire for ants?
[+7] u/Ant_I_aLittle_Bug: Remember when it was “Biden’s economy” and you could make money without trying?
[+7] u/TreGet234: The inflation based economy where you just keep losing purchasing power so asset owners can get even richer. If purchasing power goes to 0, how will the economy even continue to function?
[+7] u/bklotrgoblet: why can't I buy calls on IRGC
[+7] u/OneLeggedJaguar: I’m tired of this grandpa
[+7] u/AllianceOrTheHorde: Let the bubble burst. The sooner it does, the faster the recovery and we can pretend AI was never a thing
[+7] u/mmjI: why oil still down when iran not accepting ceasefire?
[+7] u/Justzyn_Jefferzyn: “Markets too expensive I’ll wait to buy a dip” and when that dip comes it’s “end of the world”
Quit being a lil bitch, take those few hundred dollars grandma got you for Christmas and buy the fucking dip… to understand “nothing ever happens”, you have to understand that brief moments of happenings, ARE BRIEF 🤣
[+7] u/Onurb86: Bulls are so gullible
Ground invasion Friday
[+7] u/Manufactured_feces: Why does the "extension" of Trump's threats go until market close on Friday? They must think we are fucking retarded.
[+7] u/Whatevs56: If it wasn’t for other cultures Americans wouldn’t have food to eat. Except maybe donuts.
[+6] u/sha1dy: # BECAUSE FUCK YOUR OIL THATS WHY
[+6] u/Isthatastarorufo: Today? Every single day since Feb
[+6] u/CaskJeeves: The talks are coming from *inside* the White House!!
[+6] u/Demonic_Maidens: I lost 6.6k on 0dtes today after having quit for months and saying I would never touch them again. What the fuck is wrong with me
[+6] u/ToonamiNights: Open AI just announced they're dropping Sora and Disney is pulling their $1B from Open AI. It has begun.
[+6] u/ClaytonRook: We could literally be up to our necks with big booty Persians right now if the US stopped playing games
[+6] u/thrillho145: Bring back Biden's market
[+6] u/Val44x: BOLS SENDING BERS A 15 POINT PLAN ON ENDING THE WAR LMAO
[+6] u/DingleJingle_: The only thing that actually matters is the Strait. If you don't see ships flowing through there the fake numbers you are seeing mean nothing.
[+6] u/SilverPrivateer: Thank you to Iran for reasonable compromise, very good
[+6] u/YNeverWAlone: Diversity is literally the most redeeming quality about America. Had a bagel for lunch from a Jewish deli. Yemeni coffee for second lunch. And gonna have halal lamb chicken platter for dinner.
[+6] u/Killersax: I HEAR WE WON THE WAR AND GET A HUGE PRIZE FROM IRAN
[+5] u/highlanderquestion90: is this fake news or true? source?
[+5] u/seasix732: Not really much market reaction, means they finnaly believe Trump just lies constantly. Need Iran to have a press release.
[+5] u/TripleChen_LLC: The Trump Indicator, whenever market is dropping hard, just buy and wait for a post and you instantly make thousands
[+5] u/kojima_you_genius: my septic tank is pretty full, I heard fertilizer is in a shortage, how much do you think i could get?
[+5] u/DealLead190: they are announcing this in the middle of the night for them. wonder why
[+5] u/-medicalthrowaway-: Jfc I thought the gift thing was a meme
[+5] u/-medicalthrowaway-: “Bully says nerd gave him a really cool gift to stop bullying him after the nerd pulled the bullies pants down, revealing micro pean”
[+5] u/mhughes2595: Guys I bought my first spy puts spreads today! I've been a hard core bull since 2022... so if I got bear curious that must mean the bottoms in right?
[+5] u/Manufactured_feces: Calls till Friday. Puts over the weekend. Duh.
[+5] u/FearlessStatement144: Another rejection of 200 and fake news pump. De ja vu??
[+5] u/wright_on_: AGI stands for Al Gore's Internet
[+5] u/Illustrious_Lion7671: This "present" thing is like "trade talks going well" all over again. Although talks were not, in fact, going well, the market somehow recovered... Maybe friday really was the bottom.
[+5] u/amanj41: Oooof I forgot LEAPS can print in the opposite direction too… MAG7 are absolutely RAILING me rn
[+5] u/JustCan6425: What happened? Why the green spikes?
[+5] u/Issa_vibe74: When will I learn a gain is a gain no matter how smol
[+5] u/KaotikRush0198: Whoever sells tomorrow is an idiot. They're just trying to shake out retail investors before putting boots on the ground. Watch what Trump does rather than says
[+5] u/cryptopolymath: SaaS gains from the past month were a dead cat bounce.
[+5] u/Rock_or_Rol: Crazy to see the market manipulated like crypto
Classic mouse trap. Spike it and slowly sell the fomo
[+5] u/Gristle__McThornbody: Reddits favorite Jared Kushner is bringing peace to the middle east!
[+45] u/trumpdiego: ##So Trump is stalling Iran until Friday, until the troops are in place, and then after market close he’ll say Iran messed up the negotiations to justify a ground invasion.
##We all agree that’s what’s going to happen?
[+26] u/jda823: Can you imagine if they said "we will only negotiate with Obama"
[+23] u/Dependent-Media-1857: how do u win against a country with infinite supply of supreme leaders
[+18] u/ewzetf: there should be a death penalty for insider trading, change my mind
[+17] u/Substantial-Use-2867: US: *Here's 15 things we want for us to stop bombing you.*
Iran: *Here's 15 rockets that we built this morning*
SPY: *15% up because why not*
[+15] u/4TheGhostCat: Pre-market and after-hours are the new regular trading.
[+13] u/tika_dengu: Imagine anyone trying to backtest using this market
[+13] u/No_Fig_7835: Market is swirving like a car about to crash
[+13] u/Paincoast89: this pump cannot be real. I’m in full copium. We open red tmw
[+13] u/vanceraa: bear or bull you gotta admit this is a fucking terrible market to trade in when fundamentals are out the window and everything tracks what some dementia-ridden retard says instead
[+12] u/Basis_404_: Days since bulls were caught in a bull trap:
- ~~0~~
- ~~0~~
- ~~0~~
- ~~0~~
- ~~0~~
- ~~0~~
- ~~0~~
- ~~0~~
- 0
[+12] u/shmito17: This is a reminder that there are people who still think Mango speaks the truth lmao
[+12] u/nyse25: you're not a real trader if you arent sitting in front of your computer crying your eyes out over the shitty decisions you just made 5 seconds ago
[+12] u/Morocier: Why is after hours so fake? Also why hasnt the market dumped 10%?
[+12] u/itsnotshade: At this point I expect the administration to find some random persian bro from LA as proof that peace talks are actually happening.
[+12] u/Far-Requirement9180: I’ve been consistently losing money for two months now and decided to buy puts today finally, you just can’t make this shit up lmaooo
[+11] u/clubdirthill: I’m in SF and I’m pretty sure I just saw Sam Altman steal a catalytic converter. Things are getting rough for OpenAI.
[+11] u/puffinnbluffin: Don’t knock up the wrong bitch, could end up costing you millions
[+11] u/Fkn1v1mem8: Peace talk negotiation pumps keep getting weaker and weaker they’re catching on
[+10] u/Antique_Cabinet8416: normies who don't trade talking about the insider shit yesterday and market manipulation by the admin at large, that's how brazen this all is
[+10] u/PoetryEmergency4184: Who needs oil anyway? Oil is a boomer commodity
[+10] u/wrongrobertpatrick: PLTR is now officially SKYNET
[+10] u/Visible_Sir7057: wonder how many people lost their whole portfolios playing calls and puts in 2022 , glad i was not old enough to have a brokerage account then
[+10] u/FxSpecter: Man fuck microsoft. Limp dick shit. Did Bill Gates give it an STD or something.
[+9] u/fish_: can someone who is monitoring the situation please tell me what the fuck is going on
[+9] u/Basis_404_: Bulls are talking an awful lot of smack for a market that just popped 0.3% off its second lowest close of the year
[+9] u/wrongrobertpatrick: RIP Sora
data collection complete
[+9] u/42thefloor2011: OpenAI is imploding. It will cease to exist before the year ends. The arab money is no longer since the war.
[+9] u/guy_cloutier: "Israel will occupy southern Lebanon up to the Litani River to create a "defensive buffer," Defense Minister Israel Katz said on Tuesday, spelling out for the first time Israel's intent to seize territory amounting to nearly a tenth of Lebanon"
Futes pumping. Jesus.
[+9] u/AdCritical5383: In these divisive and I’m glad we can all agree that >!Tom Lee is a fat cuck.!<
[+9] u/CartoonLamp: Why did it shoot right up AH 💀
[+9] u/DrElkSnout: A cease fire is literally only a thing because at current inventory draws the world locks up without a cease fire. This is a terrible sign that things are actually going poorly and they've got us by the short hairs.
[+8] u/haniyarae: Remember when we were all laughing about Teslas on the White House lawn
[+8] u/Wrath_FMA: It pretty clear 🥭 want out of Iran while saving as much face as possible. At this point we are just betting if the Iranians are willing to get traffic moving in the straights quickly, and how terrible of a shock to the economic system this has been.
[+8] u/Powerful-Attorney113: Bought puts before close expiring Friday like a dummy well , I’m done gambling for a while
[+8] u/Commercial-District1: Tomorrow’s Agenda 🗓️
• 6:30-6:45am: SPY drops 5%, sell my puts
• 6:45-7am: MSFT jumps 20% sell my calls
• 7am - 1pm: take a six month nap 😴
[+8] u/TestingLifeThrow1z: Chess move, Vance is reportedly the only anti-war voice in the long list of people.
[+8] u/ewzetf: Iran gives present, a new couch for VD
[+8] u/Normal_Tap3021: things pumping now. It'll dump to the sewers when asia and europoors dump it for ramen and 2 loaves of bread
[+8] u/barkwoofgrrr: There's no time for 🥭 to find his way out of this war because he's too busy trying to manipulate the market. Priorities
[+8] u/i_simp_f: I'm pretty tired of this
[+7] u/wildcat1055: "They did something yesterday that was amazing actually. They gave us a present, and the present arrived today. It was a very big present worth a tremendous amount of money."
Was it a giant horse? on wheels?
[+7] u/prana_fish: Futes stalling out tells you everything you need to know about how much the market believes the sustainability of any "15 point plan".
[+7] u/CD274: Riiiiight cease fire but more troop movement inbound to Iran
[+7] u/MrT_IDontFeelSoGood: Iran response where you at
[+7] u/J_da_CPA: We might get world peace once bro dies
[+7] u/jmc774: Raising the military enlistment age to 42 is totally normal
[+7] u/disishowedoit: Do you think palm beach Pete has calls?
[+7] u/wrongrobertpatrick: APO — you can’t withdraw funds; can’t have a run on the banks, you know
[+7] u/GoProVI: Ceasefire talks and the market goes up until they realize he is talking to himself dressed up as the Ayatollah
[+7] u/Gom_KBull: Isnt pakistan that inbred country that attacked india and tried to fool the entire world with video game footage?
So
* mangolini's son-in-law and some real estate schmuck in his inner circle talked with some mystery iranian
* a country of inbreds is facilitating the deal
* while israel still bombing the shit out of iran
* while we are sending troops there
# CHECK CHECK CHECK
[+6] u/Status-Community7031: Thank God I bought put options.
[+6] u/Beneficial_Ad9547: I deadass think they spin a wheel and throw a dart to see what they can say to prop the market up at this point
[+6] u/confused_teabagger: I though VIX was supposed to be a volatility index, not an inverse SPY index? Market whipsawing like a MF and VIX going down?
[+6] u/nyse25: Aint no way Mango just said that 😭
[+6] u/avdvetf: Good news guys, the army has increased the enlistment age to 42. Service guarantees citizenship.
[+6] u/CMDR_Shepard96: MSFT nearly down 25% YTD. Embarrassing.
[+6] u/Brodieischeese: I just want it to stay up atleast until 9:30 so I can buy some puts.
🥭: “Peace talks“ market pumps*
Iran: “peace talks literally never happened lol“ market does nothing*
[+6] u/sloanemonroe: What a strange reason for futures to be up so much. USA sends them a plan to review. I can send any one of you a plan to review about sending me money. Means nothing.
https://www.cnbc.com/2026/03/24/stock-market-today-live-updates.html
[+6] u/Williamnguyen62838: BREAKING NEWS: CPR REPORT IS OUT TOMORROW AT 8:30
[+6] u/bluen: I feel like we should have gone after Cubanistan first
[+6] u/Full_Boysenberry_198: Some of you are too young to remember Wing Attack Plan R
[+6] u/Frozen_Shades: https://preview.redd.it/csm2e3bpv2rg1.png?width=168&format=png&auto=webp&s=5802713ce2b52f59b7ddd01f2b6408db1dd58fc7
[+6] u/LiveMotivation: I need a HUGE gap up in the morn to save my port
[+6] u/cannythecat: This better not be a final pump before the invasion happens on the weekend.
[+6] u/Napster-mp3: We’re just a bunch of rats fighting over paper currency
[+6] u/Bluesquare9: Tomorrow’s press conference just needs to be a round of 20 questions where journalists try to figure out the “big present”
[+6] u/Fun-Journalist2276: There goes my calls and $$
[+5] u/AMCorBUST2021: SEC enforcer just resigned because she was not being allowed to pursue certain obvious manipulations.
https://www.sec.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2026-27-sec-announces-enforcement-division-director-judge-margaret-ryan-has-resigned-agency
[+5] u/Mr60SPX: Disney Exits OpenAI Deal After AI Giant Shutters Sora
[+5] u/DrElkSnout: not gonna lie, I miss those days.
[+5] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: Are we getting info about the war and it is not posted on taco social network ????
[+5] u/CMDR_Shepard96: I see MSFT is resuming it's March toward $50
[+5] u/Dorkasteri: 10Y gonna check this bluff tomorrow. It’s gonna be closer to 5 than 4 before end of March.
[+5] u/avdvetf: Who is going to apologize to the persians for this war?
[+5] u/fuck_zebster: Think Iran gave nothing and this is going to be a taco 🥭 leaves Israel claims victory and Iran keeps bombing ?
[+5] u/PotentialBicycle7: went away for a few, guess the wars over huh?
[+5] u/Dorkasteri: I’m suddenly getting a lot of MSFT tweets on my for you page. Meaning it’s gonna go a lot lower.
[+5] u/fish_: why do i even bother playing oil shit is so gay
[+18] u/PooPooPointBoiz: Christ dude.
I was holding META Stock all day, just watching it do nothing but go down and fuck my port.
I sell at close, and the shit pops 1% after hours on more Trump Iran bullshit.
Fuck this stupid ass rigged market dude.
[+17] u/svpa3991: Iran vows revenge, Iran disputes peace talks, Iran sends missiles, Iran wants peace talks. Sounds like 🥭 met his taco match
[+17] u/CPA-hole: I enjoy large breasts
[+14] u/bidahtibull: Im calling it now.
There are no negotiations.
Trump thinks he's being smart whilst the foot soldiers arrive.
This is going to be a colossal mess.
[+14] u/alfred250: “Its like Iran doesn’t realize we are the good guys”-Shane Gillis lmao
[+13] u/Rare-ish_Birb: I mean markets moving on fake news from the Prez, is no different from markets moving on fake news from CEOs.
[+12] u/0xBorisjohnson: Netanyahu: Sorry Trump, this movie ends my way
*proceeds to nuke The Pyramids*
[+12] u/Envirant: FYI US confirmed they will have troops in place for offensive operations in the straight on Friday, just in time to fuck your ports on market close.
[+12] u/AwarenessOk5979: See half you regards on the front lines next month. Remember to bring the zyns.
[+12] u/Nice-Difference8641: I am a machine that turns unmonitored situations into monitored situations
[+12] u/Senpai_Slime: Precisely why they will escalate or sabotage any type of deal
[+11] u/LasyKuuga: >SORA getting shut down
First sign of the bubble pop or corpo restricting us plebs access?
[+11] u/falken2023: 3 minutes until we see if the world believes any of this shit.
[+11] u/Vegetable_Push6542: We are not pumping because the market believes anything 🥭 says (it doesn't). It is pumping because 🥭 is showing signs of wanting to GTFO this war. Market is frontrunning when that eventually happens which will be likely be in April or May.
[+11] u/UsernameTaken_123: Damn, looks like I have to cancel my vacation to Kharg Island
[+11] u/isc1200s: That was fazed out in the 1920s.
[+10] u/forensicaccountaint: Wake up, check my losses, check it a thousand more times, curse the elites, hope they lie to the media again, go to sleep
[+10] u/greyenlightenment: Strait closed until midterms at the least, but probably 2028.
[+10] u/Academic_Lock_1699: This shit got early Vietnam vibes, switching to long bear mode
[+9] u/botistic: Rug pull in the morning
[+9] u/ThrowRA-KB: “Israel ‘not part of negotiations’ between US and Iran: UN envoy” - Al Jazeera
“WATCH: Building collapses after Iranian missile strike on Israel” - Al Jazeera
Yeah, Israel isn’t backing down anytime soon, therefore neither can the US
[+9] u/Ill-Expression1737: im going to iran for vacation is it safe?
[+8] u/Bichael-Murry: being a wartime trader is so difficult, honestly
[+8] u/Ill-Expression1737: gold is absolutely ripping.. and i knew i shouldve pulled the trigger on those 410c smh
[+8] u/Vegetable_Push6542: Asian traders are going to pump this shit overnight.
[+8] u/TinyAdhesiveness5773: some day in the future we'll crave this volatility
[+8] u/cbusoh66: Witkoff and Kushner just found out they've been negotiating with the janitor at the local high school in downtown Tehran
[+8] u/yaboyay: Rest Red Red tomorrow. All red.
[+8] u/stupidber: If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge the draft
[+8] u/Rare-ish_Birb: Me thinks Altman bit off too much trying to be kitchen sink AI.
[+7] u/soad1331: Could very well dump. Don't lose hope.
[+7] u/Largeshmarge: Futures have never been so fake.
[+7] u/encore333: The world is a vampire
[+7] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: So anyways, I started blasting
[+7] u/greyenlightenment: shortest peace deal/ceasefire ever
[+7] u/Spokenpoem: Well well well. Bombing again lol
[+7] u/Due-Dirt-8428: I work in the private construction/engineering market in a mid level engineering leadership role. Not bragging just context. Our work has been so fucking slow for the last 6 months it’s insane. I usually get a ton of LinkedIn recruiters reaching out daily but it’s been bone dry. Over the past 2 days I have gotten like 10 recruiters reaching out. Feels like the construction market is going to be picking back up. There is your free DD.
[+7] u/DisgrunltedDan: Ceasefire talks again
[+6] u/ebaydan777: israel, bullshit source
[+6] u/No-Dust-1722: The way things are looking the ice cream might be the expensive part of that evening
[+6] u/HappyDepartment5899: Why are gold and silver popping off?
[+6] u/twostroke1: Why don’t the ships in the Strait just like move over a little when the bombs are falling so they don’t get hit?
Are the drivers retarded or something?
[+6] u/greyenlightenment: Strait status: closed
[+5] u/twostroke1: shut. up.
just shut. the. fuck. up.
[+5] u/utwx7u2: I hope gold goes to 0
[+5] u/TippyTippyTippyTop: I’m from the future and… i’m really sorry to tell you this… but you didn’t buy enough compute. Goodbye!
[+5] u/Deep-Ad-8525: I mean I’m not complaining but brother! selling these calls for some change at open.
[+5] u/WonUpH: Russia should have just said they were creating a buffer zone in Donbass that would have shut everyone up apparently
[+5] u/alfred250: Who know more about surprises than the Japanese!
[+5] u/potato111a: Believe it or not, Oil bulls r prob more fuked than Silver bulls LMAO 🤌
[+5] u/Time_Independence355: Each and every hyperscaler took a dump and yet $NVDA is flat, guess what they going to do with their "projected capex" and how it will affect $NVDA lmao
[+5] u/HaitchP-Minecraft: War has been over, the markets are just waking up. ATHs across the board by May, easiest money I’m gonna make in my life
[+24] u/baconography: I bought 1k of USO ATM calls at close, and this seemingly has ended the war.
[+19] u/tesseramous: Let me get this straight: The pentagon is preparing for war and sending thousands of troops and Im supposed to think the war is over?
[+18] u/ComfortablePiglet842: Retards are just now starting to buy puts. Dude youre a month behind its already time to bullrush back to 690
[+16] u/Unhappy_Hedgehog_808: The amount of gloating in here for an AH pump means everyone is going to get fucked tomorrow.
[+14] u/Awuxy: Hardest part about the limited 3 day operation in iran is the first 4 weeks
[+13] u/UnintelligibleThing: Wait so all that matters to the market is that Uncle Sam says they have a peace plan? Doesn't matter if Israel keeps bombing Iran?
[+13] u/Inevitable_Mirror_74: Tonight: White House is thinking to propose a cease fire agreement 📈
Tomorrow: Iran says “Fake News” there were no cease fire thoughts going through 🥭’s mind 📉
[+13] u/DeadLightsOut: Why tf is everything mooning?!
Iran literally said “um no….”
[+11] u/derprondo: So at like 2:00 they announce the 82nd airborne is being deployed, then at 4:00 they say there’s going to be a cease fire agreement? Yeaaahhhh this shit isn’t over. I’m staying cash gang.
[+11] u/Awuxy: So the in the last week:
-Straits still blocked
-Japan has around 2 weeks of oil left
-Trump lied multiple times about peace deal
-Australia is fuel rationing
-rumors of private credit crisis
-rumors of treasury insolvency
-productivity dropped sharply in us economy per report on 03/24
And not to mention the AI bubble everyone was talking about in January that now is forgotten
And yall are still buying calls??????
[+11] u/BioRam: Bulls will be like " I can't believe youre warmongering"
Meanwhile they own stock in Palantir and SWMR
[+11] u/financiallythriving: My father in law bought bitcoin because his financial advisor recommended it and he thought he was going to get a coin in the mail
[+11] u/Faani78: Fresh attacks on Iran's energy sites in Isfahan. Yeah, the war's certainly over.
[+11] u/EnginrA: Bummed they are shutting down Sora, I created so many videos of me
[+11] u/CEO-of-SOXL: Iran please take this opportunity to do the funniest thing possible to this man
[+10] u/PandoraBot: The pumping will continue until morale improves
[+10] u/COBRA_DROGO: Everyone except GOOG and MSFT holders are celebrating. I’m GOOG and MSFT holders!
[+10] u/Awuxy: Lmao pump for military deployment when japan is burning 2 million barrels of oil with only around 42 million barrels remaining. With a 30 day transport time from iran.
Gonna start raking in puts as soon as I can tomorrow. That will reverberate across the world
[+10] u/Worried_Quarter469: They already declared holy war, what are they going to do ask allah to take it back?
[+10] u/Spooky_Mulder27: This market is truly unserious lmao
[+10] u/FeverTreeCloud: So many people saying calls here
Who are you guys calling? 🤔
I prefer texting 😤
[+9] u/Milojow: Iran attacking with drones right now is ceasefire?
[+9] u/Contango_withme: I want to be a bull so I can get fucked hard
There I said it…
[+9] u/Coffeewin: I just want to be able to sleep at night without worrying about my positions getting blasted
[+9] u/Logical-Clerk-1571: it seems drone didn't know anything about ceasefire when got detonated in kuwait airport
[+8] u/ButtExterminator: “Experience Abu Dhabi” sponsor of the Knicks lol
[+8] u/ComfortablePiglet842: Still a possibility we wake up to spy down $4. Its been a swinging volatile gremlin lately. This pump is nothing to be totally trusted
[+8] u/Infinite-Anybody204: How many times are you gonna be fooled by this fake pump shit?😂
[+8] u/isolated-cat: swing trading silver this week has been working well so far. 5k yesterday, 1.5k today
[+8] u/PositiveToe2761: lol updating recruitment regulations is a sure sign of de escalation I’m sure 👍
[+8] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: 2000 paratroopers means this definitely, maybe, almost totally complete guys. But then again maybe we'll bomb their power grid, but then again maybe we're having productive talks. Maybe Saudi Arabia is pushing Taco hard to put on full court press, but then again maybe they have been advocates for peace this whole time. So. Many. Lies
[+8] u/Contango_withme: Why won’t my neighbor ring my door bell and ask me to play with him?
[+8] u/Hot_Avocado_2701: Is the market only pumping because orange guy sent a report and people assume Iran will accept that and let the US win? What am I missing?
[+8] u/NFG89: she's a 10 but she laid off 50% of employees due to AI 'efficiencies'
[+8] u/rd26: Lmao at these government's trying to short oil. As if that will fix supply shock.
[+8] u/Ok-Indication-3754: It chose us. In this market you have no cjoice
[+7] u/DanqueLeChay: Imagine the face ripper when he reveals the secret gift. (It’s a nuke)
[+7] u/Unemployable1593: politics is just one big ass blasting
[+7] u/MeditateDailyYo: Always remember: you'll know when the big bad is coming because those in control will make great efforts to make it look like everything is fine and normal (so they can get away with the bag before you notice)
...
[+7] u/Maximum-Counter-4904: bye bye Oil 📉
hello SPY 📈
[+7] u/Contango_withme: A guy flipped me off for driving too slow…
He hurt my feelings.
[+7] u/Frosty-Search: Keep pumping up the stock in after hours so I can short it tomorrow
[+7] u/ajibtunes: This is a cunty life 😞
[+7] u/CEO-of-SOXL: I think they were speaking Asian. I dunno they sounded Asian
[+7] u/WarmCan3034: Plsss global depression 🙏🙏🙏 just so I can make $10
[+6] u/oliver2022: USO dumping all the gains after market, damn, looks like theres insider trading happening haha, thank god we have the SEC to avoid that
[+6] u/RareEurf: #SNDK 1000 BRILLION. ✌️
[+6] u/jnas_19: Any new news drop or did the panicans finally learn their lesson?
[+6] u/New_Possible_284: "Oil prices fall, stock futures climb on reports U.S. has proposed a cease-fire to Iran"
[+6] u/Aware-Teacher5389: No one knows who John Iran is evidently - https://www.aljazeera.com/news/liveblog/2026/3/25/iran-war-live-trump-again-says-talks-underway-12-killed-in-south-tehran?update=4432000
[+6] u/Clappindemcheekies: Another school hit in Iran
[+6] u/neutralpoliticsbot: remember when bears had money?
[+6] u/radishr: Probably having peace talks with himself, just like the tariff thing
[+6] u/No_Cod972: What would Amelia Earhart do in my situation? Calls?
[+6] u/shortgamegolfer: Seems like the Iran leaders 🥭 talks to aren’t the Iran leaders the media gets denials from.
So, calls on the coming Iranian civil war where we arm both sides.
[+5] u/Brief_Carpenter_7457: Any trust fund kids in here?
[+5] u/GreyBoyTigger: Why is Netflix down? Do their crappy shows get transported through the strait of Hormuz?
[+5] u/GoZukkYourself: Bers, I'm giving you a 15 point plan to surrender.
[+5] u/Thisguymoot: Kuwait’s airport didn’t fall under the 15pt umbrella so should be fine
[+5] u/DuAbUiSai: Is open ai heading for bankruptcy? Bubble popping 🤔?
[+5] u/Chemical-Coconut-203: WSB was a bearish doomer circle jerk the last few days. I made bank on calls.
Now it's a bull anal sex conga line, which means my puts still have a chance.
[+5] u/sadguy__: Exactly and a bunch of billionaire insiders (none of this will happen and none of this is true). My insight is they will buy/sell everything back soon and we going to see reverse. Probably just usual money printing scheme
[+5] u/StonksInvesteur: TACO Tuesday and nobody believed it
[+22] u/Mast3rfinish25: Futes selling off because of Irans response
Iranian demands for an end to the war, according to the WSJ:
- Closure of all US bases in the Gulf
- Guarantees of no further attacks
- End to Israeli strikes on Hezbollah
- Lifting all sanctions on Iran.
- War damage reparations
- No restrictions on the missile program
[+14] u/Montyprice7206: 🥭 should have stuck to his skill set, such as calling people fat and/or ugly on national television
[+12] u/JustLightChop: “Per a report from the Wall Street Journal, Iran has responded to the 🥭 administration’s proposal for a ceasefire with demands that far surpass the characterization of maximalist. Iran has demanded the closure of all U.S. bases in the Gulf region, a new Strait of Hormuz framework, that would allow Iran to charge fees for vessels that transit, the end of all sanctions on Iran, an end to Israeli operations against Lebanese Hezbollah, and no discussion on Iran’s ballistic missile program. Such demands have been called ridiculous and unrealistic by U.S. officials.”
[+11] u/Aggressive-Ad-2707: Gold back to $5000 by EOD. Thank you for your attention to this matter
[+11] u/The_Alan_Greenspan: I toured a daycare with my kid and all the other kids were like little vegetables. They could barely speak, could not count, only spoke one language, and could not trade options.
[+10] u/TarrifJacksonJr: israel didnt start this war just for the USA and Iran to make a peace deal
Pretty sure we are in the calm before the storm and we haven't seen anything yet
[+10] u/I_work_too_much: The amount of fucking people that were like "holy shit" when I informed them that Arby's = RB = Roast Beef is both disturbing and expected.
[+10] u/crossdefaults: I do not believe the US is sending ground troops to Iran for peace.
[+9] u/Saturn_winter: holy shit you're right
[+9] u/Ok_Cry7572: Gen Alpha will never understand that the economy used to be so good that if you had a roommate, people genuinely thought you might be gay.
[+9] u/ShadyPotatoTrader: I made a g today,
But I made it in a sleazy way.
Buying call from the bears, who the hell cares.
One less bear buying sqqq shares.
[+9] u/WallofNarwhal: I’m a much, much happier person when I’m not on Reddit, yet here I am
[+9] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Precious metals starting to look precious again
[+9] u/NOMADGRUBS: You trade better with no phone case
[+9] u/baadllama_ghost: red by morning
goodnight retards 😴
[+8] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: Bullshit prediction for tomorrow: cognitive dissonance brings the daily thread to the edge of meltdown. Bears lose money. Bulls lose money. The fifteen point plan is argued down to eight points but no real progress is made because Iran says the plan is a lie. A mod quits but no one notices because the bear posts average five paragraphs each. 30% of WSBers buy puts for the first time
[+8] u/Individual-Motor-167: Beware that the "peace" plan nobody has seemed to read. It is supposedly Israel's 14 point (there's 14, not 15 possibly) plan doesn't sound like anything Iran would agree to. Per: https://x.com/nadia_bilbassy/status/2036567316167794822 (there's several posts with the points out of Israel 12)
1.A ceasefire for one month.
2.Dismantling the nuclear capabilities that Iran has accumulated.
3.Iran’s commitment to never pursue the possession of a nuclear weapon.
4.Halting any enrichment of nuclear materials on Iranian territory.
5.Handing over all enriched materials to the International Atomic Energy Agency according to an agreed timetable.
6.Taking the Natanz, Isfahan, and Fordow facilities out of service and destroying them.
7.Granting the International Atomic Energy Agency full access to all information داخل Iran.
8.Iran abandoning its proxy strategy in the region.
9.Effectively halting the funding and arming of those proxies.
10.Ensuring that the Strait of Hormuz remains open as a free maritime passage.
11.Addressing the issue of Iranian missiles at a later stage, with limits on quantity and range.
12.Restricting Iran’s military capabilities to self-defense purposes only.
13.Lifting all sanctions imposed on Iran.
14.Providing support for the development of a civilian nuclear project in Bushehr to generate electricity.
15.Abolishing the “snapback” mechanism for the automatic reimposition of sanctions
First thing I see is a "one month ceasefire", not suggesting the conflict is over even though sometimes ceasefires can get there eventually. Remember 🥭 already opened hostilities twice now under negotiations.
[+8] u/Maximum-Cash7103: Same old same old, pump thousands and then end up up a few hundred bucks end of day. Straight fucked.
[+8] u/OG_L0c: LinkedIn is the worst dating app
[+7] u/ConsiderationKey1658: Hockey is the best sport
[+7] u/pussinbuuts: LATEST LEAKED TRANSCRIPT OF THE HIGHLY PRODUCTIVE SECRET TALKS BY 🥭
🥭: “CAN YOU OPEN THE STRAIT”
>!REDACTED!<: “NO”
🥭: “OK”
[+7] u/_CBAZZ_: Going all in on 0 DTE SPY calls
[+7] u/DriftWoodBarrel: Everytime my portfolio survives another day during these war times, I feel like I'm becoming a hardened warrior. I am basically the same as a member of the 82nd airborne division.
[+7] u/TimingEzaBitch: Open season on bears.
[+6] u/Able_Durian_1832: When you say deal and other party says no deal, then where is the deal
[+6] u/gomper: I bought 2 oz of gold last night. Called the bottom
[+6] u/iThinkiStartedATrend: Wonder how they’ll spin Iran having a new toll booth and the U.S. having to pay for it
[+5] u/PossumImposter2: Only need SLV to go up another $18 and I’m even from I began trading silver
[+15] u/Icommandyou: SPY went down a bit because it’s been four hours and nobody from the admin said we won the war for the 58th time
[+12] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: I’m predicting a huge sell off in the near future due to a boots on ground announcement
[+12] u/diefy7321: Imagine being a 20 y/o Marine, with camo paint smeared across your face and an M27 IAR strapped to your chest, you scan your unit in the dim red glow of a Black Hawk as the rotors thunder overhead and the island looms somewhere in the dark below. It’s Friday, 10:50pm local time, and as you brace to fast-rope down, one thought cuts through everything: the strait has to be open before the retards of WSB wake up on Monday morning.
[+12] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: You unalived our leader, here is a huge secret present btw send those 2000 troops to shake our hands personally.
[+12] u/bzl33: I'm started to get pretty apathetic about people's complaints about how expensive life is when I found out the average new car payment is $774/mo. That is an absurd amount of money to spend on a car payment if you are not doing well financially.
[+11] u/hoidzaheer777: Spy opens +2%
I buy calls
It crashes
I sell calls at a loss of 50% and buy puts
It immediately goes up
I sell puts at a loss of 50%
It ends the day 0.00%
Rinse and repeat until death or bankruptcy
[+11] u/Ceyenne18: watching oil chart is almost comical.
each time mango BS, it goes down. then it comes back up again. then he will BS again and cycle repeats.
[+10] u/dash_trash4255: Reality has entered the chat
[+10] u/yeahyoubored: Market will pump until Friday and then 🥭 announces deal fell through and US troops with boots on ground.
Insiders already bought the drop and will dump the pump.
Rinse and repeat.
Market. Manipulation.
[+10] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Market was ass before the war FYI
[+9] u/diefy7321: If I was one of those marines, I’d be taking out a year’s worth of payday loans and full porting calls before going in.
If successful, strait is opened and made bank. If not successful, well, guess the bank doesn’t get their money back lmfaooo
[+9] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: There’s a regard here who repeats the same prediction everyday hoping to be right atleast once
[+9] u/mrmagootoyou2: This conflict is so intertwined with other countries it's insane
Iran: Probably doesn't want this to continue, but realizes the only weapon they have is to make this so costly that another conflict will not happen again, IMO they will push this to the regimes breaking point, but with propaganda like schools being hit, they have bought some time.
US: Was.hoping for an uprising that never came, Obviously other things were involved to get us into this but... We want out and Iran isn't going to let that happen while they have an iron grip on the strait
Isreal: they are looking at this as their only shot of dismantling the regime, there is no way a future commander in chief will look at this in the books and want to do this again, they kicked a hornets nest and if they don't follow through, the future looks extremely chaotic
Russia- The one no one is paying attention to IMO, they have made billions off of this conflict with everyone begging them for oil, it's why Ukraine is going all out on their refineries and ports. They are the ones that are benefiting the most from this hands down and have every reason to supply Iran to keep this going
China- I'm not too sure how to look at them in the current situation, sure the US looks weak here, which I'm sure they love, but if the US goes in the strait there is no way the US allows any Iranian ships to deliver oil for security reasons
TLDR: Extremely tangled web that is going to suck to untangle
[+9] u/LarsTarkas: Setting up the big beautiful rug
[+9] u/Muted-South4737: I need a volunteer. Candidate must be a complete degen. Must have a poor track record at options. Must be desperate and ready to risk whatever is left on one last roll of the dice.
Volunteer must pick a direction. That's it. Only condition is, they would notionally bet it all on that direction.
I intend to inverse, full (what's left of my) port. 0DTE, let this be our final battle.
[+8] u/Only-Cranberry-4502: Motorcycle accidents are fr crazy cuz like at first you’re there and then like your 25 feet ahead without the motorcycle
Calls on physics
[+8] u/JohanLiebert92: when ur trade is 50% down and you're back to 0 honestly feels like a win
[+8] u/Small-Opening-4319: Latinas are my only weakness
[+8] u/BillyShears2015: I don’t want to get too philosophical on yall, but otm options are the big booty latinas of the stock market.
[+8] u/WrexyWrex: North Carolina Senate leader Republican Phil Berger, who touted President Donald Trump’s endorsement throughout his campaign, conceded defeat Tuesday in his primary election in a race he lost by just 23 votes.
[+7] u/NeverDeltaNeutral: Trump told reporters Tuesday, “we really had regime change. This is a change in the regime, because the leaders are all different.” wtf
[+7] u/arbitraryBlue: 🥭 essentially said "I have a girlfriend, she just goes to a different school" and people believe it lol
[+6] u/M4roon: I'm starting to think that the chain of command in Iran is all fkd up. Call it a hunch.
[+6] u/anonkraken: I really can't figure out the news that's driving this pump and it's making me feel like a dumbass.
[+6] u/D1finalboss: Only thing I can afford in this environment are eggs that I stole from a nest outside
[+6] u/QuantrixQuintrix: Why we get a random stabbing pain in our bungholes? What kinda weirdness is that about?
[+5] u/LarsTarkas: I honestly don't know why anyone would want to go back into metals. They have experienced some of the most wild price swings
[+5] u/kemar7856: Fuck Microsoft
Fuck you gates
Fuck you Nadella
pos stock done nonstop drilling since I owned it
[+18] u/jeezuspieces: There's probably a regard in here that's being deployed to the Middle East rn
[+17] u/moorhound: >FT: US to deploy more troops even as Trump praises Iran talks
Come on bro just one more negotiation bro don't mind those soldiers bro the 82nd airborne is just here for the steak and lobster bro please bro just negotiate and don't shoot oil infrastructure bro we're not gonna attack you again bro just let a couple of tankers through bro
[+16] u/dayne_stevenson: Options trading right now is ACTUALLY gambling
[+16] u/moorhound: I've never, *ever* seen a Cybertruck with any other passengers other than a single male driver.
I live in Northern California, there's a ton of these fuckers here, and invariably it's just some white or the occasional asian male driving it alone. No women, no family, never hauling anything, just one dude solo. Half of the ones I see are just parked (since it's a 6k+ lb GVWR tax writeoff), but all the one's I've seen in traffic are just one man, alone.
It's like a stainless steel divorced dad depression dumpster.
[+15] u/iswearnotagain10: Oil wants to creep up. The reserves are close to running out. I don’t know why the market believes 🥭. Everytime the prices are too high he drops a “war is almost over” and it falls by $20 or some shit. Even though we’re deploying thousands of soldiers there and readying for an invasion, the market is priced like the strait of Hormuz will be open in under a week
[+14] u/dayne_stevenson: If you’re an insider lmk
[+14] u/Get_dat_money: It's like the same ten dudes in here all the time.
[+13] u/Acceptable_Dirt69: Aight, I’m down
*unzips*
[+12] u/Harp-Note: If you invested $1000 into WOOF on your dog's advice 5 years ago, you would have $132 today. If you invested that same amount into MU because of your cat, you would have $4500.
[+11] u/Slow-Information-847: It looks Iran was enjoying setting cities on fire while 🥭 was touting receiving a bigly gift today.
[+11] u/dayne_stevenson: Who else in oil has lost everything and still is betting it’ll go up 🙋♂️🖐️🛢️📉🔻
[+11] u/staburself321: I have a 15 point plan to get my wife’s boyfriend to move out
[+11] u/RemarkableVictory990: break up with her and lemme hit
[+11] u/CantaloupeSea48: well my wife wants to split based on me paying everything. You are ahead, bub.
[+10] u/jonneh: **11:43 pm EST**
> IRGC announce new wave of attacks on Israel and US bases
#
But.. 🥭 said they sent a present, a very nice present 🎁
[+10] u/Gaseous_Clay_OK: Be sure to include your capital losses so that you pay only your fair share
[+9] u/BjergBetterThanFaker: holy fuck State Dept just declared that the war has been won. Moon shot tomorrow
https://x.com/StateDept/status/2036522343263006867
[+9] u/XeroShyft: Is it not fucking crazy that MSFT is down 33% from ATH? I mean this stock has been absolutely curbstomped the last few months, just an absolutely diabolical downtrend. It's so tempting to try to catch the falling knife.
[+9] u/Kash_5991: Guys I bought oil puts at $90
It will probably hit $120 tomorrow
[+9] u/vermilli21: If were winning so much why are we sending troops? 🤡🤣
[+9] u/Eclectic_Beer_Tap: Moped lines as far as the eye can see at gas stations in India...
[+9] u/AutumnSugar59: How has the stock market been lately I’ve been hanging out with my friends and family recently
[+9] u/Acceptable_Dirt69: My gf wants to split rent based on our incomes
🤢
[+9] u/Front_Inspector_437: Fuck now leave later
[+8] u/AlmightyCheesusCrust: Microslop might be a buy soon
⠀⢀⣠⣾⠷⠊⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠙⠗⠉⠉⠉⠓⠻⠿⢿⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣴⡿⠊⠀⣤⣒⣒⣒⣶⠒⡦⠀⠀⢠⣶⣒⣒⣲⣦⠀⠉⠓⢦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠟⠀⠀⠀⠉⠉⠉⣉⣉⣩⡥⠤⠤⠤⢤⠬⠥⠬⠥⠤⠤⠤⣴⣇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⣴⡞⣋⣉⣉⣥⠄⡐⠒⠒⠒⢒⣒⡒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠛⣻⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠻⠽⠟⠚⠛⠋⠉⠉⠉⠉⠉⠛⠛⠛⠒⠒⠒⠒⠒⠚⠋⠉⠻⣤⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⡷⡀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣤⢤⠤⠤⣴⠤⠤⢤⡀⠀⠹⡵⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠞⠁⠀⣤⣶⣖⣒⣒⣒⣺⣍⡆⠀⠀⢹⡄⠀⠹⣤⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠏⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⠴⠒⠈⠉⠉⠉⣿⠀⠀⠈⡇⠀⠀⢳⢖ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⠀⠀⠀⠀⢘⣛⣉⣉⣉⣉⣉⣀⣨⣧⡀⠀⣇⠀⠀⠈⣦ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡇⠀⠀⣴⠛⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢳⡀⢻⡄⠀⠀⡯ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡾⠀⠀⢀⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢧⠈⣧⠀⠀⢳ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠇⠀⢀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⡀⠘⡇⠀⢸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⠀⡼⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⣧⠀⢸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠇⠀⢰⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⣟⠀⢸
[+8] u/These-Shoulder8017: Mysterious gift was a penis enlarger.
[+8] u/gen_x_og_0DTE: just subtract out your trading losses in your 'net' income and you are set
[+8] u/SocraticGoats: Believe it or not, calls
[+7] u/Col_Treize69: I think if they bullshit hard enough, the market will forget the Strait is still closed all the way until Monday
[+7] u/RjBloxks: turned 40k into 1k smh time to claw my way back out the hole…again
[+7] u/dayne_stevenson: !bånbet no ceasefire 1wk
[+7] u/ColdBostonPerson77: They are absolutely putting American boots on Persian soil.
[+7] u/Tillfatfire: Peace talk going well 😂😂😂
‼️ JUST IN:
According to Faytuks, Iran’s demands to end the war: shut down all U.S. bases in the Gulf, guarantee no future attacks, stop Israeli strikes on Hezbollah, lift all sanctions, pay war reparations, and impose zero limits on its capabilities.
[+7] u/Garbage-Disposal-938: terms of proposed agreement: "you do all of the things you said you will never do, and we will bomb you any time we want"
[+6] u/IndependentBoth2831: I sold some shares and paid off all my debt zero debt bring it on recession im ready 😎
[+6] u/kjl8921: Have Netanyahu ever said thank you once?
[+6] u/Panthera__Tigris: That 15-point US plan news had been around since the morning. Market only pumped after hours. Pure manipulation during thin volume hours lmao.
[+15] u/qx2: Oh we are saved, Vance has been requested to go fuck all couches in Iran.
[+14] u/MusingsAndMind: "Next time I buy the dip, easily."
dip happens
"Nahhh I ain't buyin shit tho what if it goes down more I don't wanna lose money."
[+12] u/WallyWally12345: **BROKE GANG CHECKING IN**
[+12] u/DeviantDougy: Alright let me get this straight
Iran wants peace and they are actively negotiating?
Even after we blew up the supreme leaders dad and sister during the last negotiations edit: his wife too apparently 🤦🏼♂️
while we have marines en route and another 3k soldiers
The deal says no more long range missiles and limited production of missiles
Israel’s saying this is gonna be a prolonged war
Iran says 🥭 is full of shit and to basically bring it
Like wtf is 🥭 smoking? Is he just pumping and dumping at this point or does he believe this shit? His son in law is probably negotiating with a 7-11 cashier
[+12] u/user365735: Peace talks are going well....
Gulf countries reported continued incoming attacks early Wednesday morning local time.
Saudi Arabia’s defense ministry reported intercepting and destroying a number of drones and a ballistic missile. Kuwait said it was responding to “hostile missile and drone threats,” adding that explosions may be heard as air defense systems intercept targets. Bahrain urged residents to go to “the nearest safe place” as sirens were sounded.
[+12] u/Zuko2001: I don’t buy this shit, we keep hearing about these supposed peace talks but not only is Iran denying them but they are actively continuing to strike allies. I don’t know what Mangos move is here. If he pulls out the question becomes why bother taking out Ayatollah in the first place and causing destabilization of a region with the possibility of a worse replacement. If he continues and tries to take out Irans nuclear capacity that requires boots on the ground which also will equally destroy his credibility with the last few constituents he has left. Not only that but it would prob destroy his party as a wholes chances at the presidency for the next two cycles
[+10] u/breakyourteethnow: There is no talks... Literally pentagon just ordered 2000 paratroopers, more drones were just shot down, you think after suffering so much loss they'll just be like cool it's over. No way.
[+10] u/Zuko2001: Where’s the uh oh? He couldn’t give a shit anymore he’s not running again. But he has screwed his entire parties shot at winning for the next 5-10 years. Absolute buffoon and the repubs are fools for letting him control the party like a dictator and being his “yes” men. They’re about to reap what they sowed
[+10] u/moazzam0: Even in 2022 when oil was over $130, no countries had to ration oil. That tells me the price of oil is way off its equilibrium. This could get much worse.
[+10] u/cil0n: Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf and the Foreign Ministry spokesperson Esmail Baghaei coming out to say that there is no negotiation taking place with the US.
🥭 strikes again
[+10] u/092Casey: I thought we might see more like -15% to -20%, but now I'm sure -10% was the dip.
🐻 s run is over.
[+10] u/gentlesandwich: Do you think they know yet? That even once the price of crude goes down, the gas hikes will stay, just like grocery store prices.
[+9] u/cinciNattyLight: Classic rug pull tomorrow.
[+9] u/Artfclintlgnce: Welp looks like I’m getting drafted 🫡
[+9] u/Next-Book-8508: They don’t draft obese retards I already checked
[+9] u/gentlesandwich: Now they know how much it fucks us up to disrupt oil flow through the Strait, so why would anti-American extremists ever stop?
[+8] u/FullCopy: 🥭believes he’s been talking to the opposition. It’s just a random hairy dude in a white BMW.
[+8] u/Clarksonism: Al Jazeera
‘Stability comes through force’ – Iran’s military pledges to continue fighting
https://aje.news/ve6pos
[+8] u/somewhere_cool: If anyone wants to know what's actually going to happen, bookmark this:
- 🥭 🌮 all week grumbling about negotiations
- Friday after close we carpet bomb the living fuck out of the small islands in the hormuz strait
- Saturday the Marines and maybe 82nd land on those islands. Take some photos. Call them ours.
- 🥭 announces we control the strait and it's opening, all before market open.
Now no ships will be able to pass yet. But at this point he'll say we've done our part, declare victory, leave the mess for everyone else.
[+7] u/Pete26l96: this place becomes weird when you realize that it's the same 5 people spamming nonsense while the market's closed...
[+7] u/rdblaw: I have 0 motivation to do work knowing that AI will replace me in 5 years
[+7] u/bullhunter469: Every bear's real full name:
Last name: Puncher
First name: Air
[+7] u/Unh0lyCatf1sh: The US has activated Iran's Trap Card "Fake Ceasefire News", they play the Monster Card "Intercontinental Ballistic Missile" in Attack Mode and attack Israel's life points directly
[+7] u/ThermalChaser: Bought a ticket to Seattle, ended up in CECOT
[+5] u/Iknowyougotsole: r/oil is becoming the new r/politics
Never learned so much from these overnight energy and geopolitical experts
[+5] u/CUbuffGuy: I’ve had like 10 winning trades in a row.. not small either like 30k+.. kinda feel like a fucking genius but also know it can’t last.
Unless…
Jk no sizing up. Gotta stay happy with 10-30k days
[+16] u/Jazari1: feels like old soviet joke hits well these times... there are 2 newspapers truth and news. joke goes there is no truth in news and no news in truth.
[+13] u/corndog_messiah: Don’t look at me, I voted for K>!anye!<
[+12] u/OptionsRntMe: Rule #1 no politics!!!
Unless they align with our green haired moderator
[+12] u/BEAR_STEARNS_CEO: As long as nobody gets 25 kills in a row we'll be just fine
[+10] u/Comfortable-Sky7801: > "Has the level of your inner struggle reached the stage of you (Trump) negotiating with yourself?" the top spokesperson for Iran's joint military command, Ebrahim Zolfaqari, said on Iranian state TV.
just making up negotiations
[+10] u/uncorrelatedgambling: So many war experts being bearish in the thread, spy +15% today.
[+10] u/NeedleworkerSolid564: Mfers literally woke up and said let’s send the world back to primitive times
[+9] u/InsaneBallsack: I can’t picture a scenario where ground troops isn’t a total embarrassing disaster. We don’t have a reliable countermeasure to the shaheds that I’m aware of
[+9] u/Dust-Sea: Mango pisses on you and you say thank you for the golden shower.
[+8] u/AbrocomaNegative825: Me:
> Hell yah a 50 dollar gain? Dude im cashing 😎
Also me
> a -2300 loss can easily come back with a decent little pump. Suredly it will bounce back, and i can take some gains or break even. Ill just let this one run a bit longer.
[+8] u/bold_ruler___: Bought robinhood for a quick flip, now im a $hood community member
[+8] u/MRROSADOH: so are MSFT puts just free money?
[+8] u/hayleybts: My puts are so fucked!!!
[+8] u/bikkhu42: THE VOYAGER PROBE USES RADIOISOTOPE THERMOELECTRIC GENERATORS TO POWER ON BOARD INSTRUMENTS AND WILL CONTINUE FUNCTIONING FOR ANOTHER DECADE. IT WILL NOT BE AFFECTED BY THE OIL CRISIS. WITHOUT THE WONDERS OF NUCLEAR TECHNOLOGY WE WOULDN’T HAVE SUCH CLEAR PICTURES OF URANUS
[+8] u/bikkhu42: THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
[+8] u/LavishnessTimely7372: Can someone switch the market back to easy mode again please
[+7] u/ExplosiveDlarrhea69: Surely prices will come down, right Mr. Frodo?
[+7] u/music_is_gud: Quick, pump crude oil up before Scott B comes back to work tomorrow
[+6] u/OverallExamination42: the president actually accepted a trojan horse, calls for sure
[+6] u/zlordbeats: gld went from 400 to 420 overnight
[+6] u/DrummerCompetitive20: I keep buying the dip.....So many stocks on sale with cheap valuations
[+6] u/ManBearPig_1983: Iran’s biggest mistake was threatening NVDA. They’ve absolutely fucked themselves with big daddy Huang as an enemy.
[+5] u/Molten-Helldiver: Who gets the profits if the treasury wins at shorting oil? 🥭 or Scotty B?
[+29] u/plubb: Markets really believe the situation is getting better, but I believe Iran more than the US. And Iran wants max pain for the US.
[+16] u/Inner-Cobbler-2432: My innocent fellow europoors. For 3 weeks we have been gaslit on green mo/tue so we pump wed, only for the yanks to brutally dump the entire market till friday afterhours. 3 weeks!
Will we fall for it again? In the face of groundtroops, an eternal war, an oil and gas crisis and an orange pump and dump seller?
It's puts and only puts, before the yanks do it.
[+15] u/Upstairs_System_6257: Do people realise strait is still closed and many countries' reserves are drying up? Lmao
[+15] u/Ready_Scratch_1902: negotiating with urself is basically masterbating
[+13] u/ToroLoco_TL: BREAKING: A preliminary list of Iran's demands for a potential ceasefire with the US and Israel has been compiled, per Reuters.
Terms include:
1. Reparations and compensation for wartime losses
2. Iran obtains formal control of the Strait of Hormuz
3. Security guarantees against future military action
4. No limitations on Iran's ballistic missile program
We await a response from the US.
[+13] u/FartPolluter: So we are really just gonna pump on Trump negotiating with himself?
[+13] u/BugStock: Bers out here rooting for a war to continue and gas prices to go up
[+12] u/Free-Championship828: Boomers at work are telling me this dip is a buying opportunity we’re cooked
[+12] u/ExoticDaikon1872: Trump: There are talks between US and Iran - market +2%
Iran: There are no talks between US and Iran - market -0.5%
Make it make sense brother
[+12] u/Ok_Worldliness_2902: I sent my ex a 15 point plan to resume normal relations. So you could say we're basically back together again
[+12] u/SovietPower777: Fake pump on fake news, later rugpull by his damn autustic son and his regarded brothers
[+11] u/Upset-Motor-2602: Pity the dumbasses that think this is over.
[+11] u/king_of_all_retards: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+11] u/MrDee97: No matter if you long or short at open, it will be the wrong decision 👍
[+10] u/xhvrqlle: > Iran’s ambassador to Pakistan says no direct, indirect talks with US
> Iran’s ambassador to Pakistan says that no talks have taken place between Iran and the US.
Imagine believing 🥭
[+10] u/TropicalOinkment: As Plato once said: "One must make a deal with himself, before he is ready to deal with others"
[+10] u/Inevitable_Gainz: Buying puts today. Prepare for the most unholy pump
[+10] u/CalRippedken: Back from a 3 day ban. Ghey ber mods will pay dearly
[+10] u/CATLLM: USA desperately trying to short oil to keep it below $100. Can’t wait to see the squeeze.
[+9] u/drigocien12: Is this Bidens market?
[+9] u/unhappyreach_: Joe Rogan is IRL Forrest Gump
[+9] u/Several_Bread_9144: Remember if the trade doesnt go your way always double down, you cant lose this way
[+9] u/CATLLM: Oil gonna shoot up 10% today
[+9] u/Hot-Pop-3250: You ever feel good about the future? Nah, me either
[+9] u/CATLLM: Persian gulf oil refineries are gonna take 4 - 5 years to rebuild right?
[+9] u/the-revenge-trader: The market is so manipulated that it spikes when we even negotiate with ourselves
[+8] u/TheBomb999: Do you guys think SEC is going to do anything about the insider trading that happened before trump’s announcement yesterday.
[+8] u/Bubbledood: Thank you for your service 🦞🥩
[+8] u/Frequent-Hat-5260: "MSTR to the moon" he whispered softly as he put the fries in the bag
[+8] u/spaurake: According to multiple sources, Iran’s present for Mango was a uncensored copy of the Epstein files, so I think a deal is near
[+8] u/Hwangoutpltr: Bers will only be happy when every ticker is delisted
[+7] u/Deadweight047: 🥭 gonna declare one-sided peace deal with Iran and runaway isn't it ? While Iran fully controls the strait of Hormuz asking for fee to fund theirs bombing campaign back and forth with Bibisland
✨️Mission accomplished deja vu ✨️
[+7] u/PretendAgency2702: It's funny how some of you bulls start commenting when AH market is finally green. You act like you know for sure what's happening when the pump is likely based entirely on some bullshit.
Wait until you actually can make some money before you start celebrating because it wouldn't surprise me if this shit fades before open.
[+7] u/dqdg: he was offered a "present". This guy is a fkng man-child
[+7] u/Dizzy-Green-3188: Mom mom mom mom mommy mommy mommy mommy mother mother mother mother
[+7] u/CATLLM: USA shorting it to keep it below $100
[+6] u/FleetingBeacon: Market pricing in teleportation technology to get oil barrels where they need to be without shipping delays.
[+6] u/Reply_Stunning: You gotta pay the troll toll to get in