▶ Full Post Text
[+43] u/Tall_Helicopter_833: Turns out the President called the local Persian restaurant and was negotiating a cease fire. They turned off the grill for two hours
[+31] u/hfbvm2: Supreme Leader vs Supreme Misleader
[+30] u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister: Crazy how tweets move the markets more than missiles impacting oil refineries. It does show how important shitposting is
[+29] u/HDauthentic: Oh boy, another day of geopolitical and financial consequences that were entirely avoidable
[+26] u/Illustrious_Job1951: I've had very productive discussions with my broker about my margin call
[+17] u/trent_upscale: Imagine still commenting in the old thread
[+17] u/AllCapNoBrake: https://preview.redd.it/mc83eiev5zqg1.jpeg?width=120&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4f62ebd550c5bf85cb11e85f86d5bbce63cef88f
[+16] u/SocraticGoats: Coffee is a scam invented by the poo industry
[+15] u/Microwave-Dave: Is the Straight of Hummus opened yet?
Puts on chickpeas.
[+15] u/BigLawBurnerSoNoDox: Fuck i slept on my neck weird last night. Theta day it is
[+15] u/NewLifeInAfghanistan: Mango's fingers are trembling right now as his addled mind races for the next self aggrandizing confabulation
[+15] u/31andnotdone: walmart is a tech company now but you cant even tap to pay
[+15] u/UnivalveX: I too am ready to die for Israel, just as my portfolio has
[+14] u/Worried_Quarter469: Strait of SPY 700 closed permanently
[+13] u/mallison945: Bankrupt the boomers. The time of the millennial has come
[+13] u/Weak-Equal-9084: Guys dont forget, its not about the gains, its about the friends we made along the way.
[+13] u/financiallythriving: Will my 401k exist by the time I try to retire
[+12] u/WordsHappenedHere: Pro tip. The market had bottomed last April just as 🥭was saying he was talking to Xi and China. Just as he paused those reciprocal tariffs. And just as China was denying the talks were even happening. That was April 7th last year,
Here we are and he is “pausing” strikes and having chats with Iran and Iran is denying talks are happening.
Every single sentiment and breadth indicator is in the toilet. Even lower than last April. Put positioning above April levels. I’m downvoted everywhere for saying this which tells me I’m correct. Far too much retail money building late short positions.
Take a contrarian position here and get long. Friday was the equivalent of April 4th last year.
[+12] u/MasterElite1: >Iran says the war will continue until all sanctions are lifted and war damages are paid by the United States.
Printer going to print one way or the other
[+12] u/hubblebubble7: Traders made bets worth half a billion dollars in the oil market about 15 minutes before taco post touting “productive” talks with Iran sent the price of crude tumbling and ignited volatility in other assets.
F this guy
[+11] u/Fhyzikz: If the secret plan was to try to push the hogs rolling coal in monster trucks towards clean energy or bankruptcy, then it's working, Mr 🥭, sir. Stay the course
[+11] u/imunfair: Seems like the Iran strategy is to pretend we want to negotiate while Israel bombs them incessantly, and hope the markets don't notice the "change" with no difference.
I did love this quote though:
>"These are sensitive diplomatic discussions and the US will not negotiate through the press," Karoline Leavitt, the White House press secretary, tells the BBC in a statement.
...as if Trump isn't out there posting "peace through strength!" and other threats and ultimatums on his social media page that *instantly* jerks the markets around.
[+11] u/Vegetable-Dig5382: so it looks like day trading might not be for me
[+11] u/Curious_scientist420: Markets waiting for 🥭 tweets
[+11] u/Capt_Chickenpox: Explosions in Tehran and oil doesn't even react. Is the assumption still that this will be over next week?
[+10] u/1M-to-Zero: We successfully stopped 8 wars that we didnt start. Btt the one we started, need your help to stop.
[+10] u/teh_herper: #We pumping or dumping? Asking for a friend who's went all in yesterday...
[+10] u/good-times-: Everyone’s lying. It’s war.
SPY 700
[+10] u/angrybubblez: On the toilet this morning and water splashed my balls. One can only interpret this as a sign to buy calls.
[+10] u/aftherith: I am starting to think some of you are discontent with your financial status
[+10] u/angrybubblez: A haiku for degens
Was gonna buy calls
Thread is too bullish today
Will inverse regards
[+10] u/mrmagootoyou2: I signed up to the Marines for the surf n turf and I ended up on this stupid island
[+10] u/T-WrecksArms: This dump at 9:30 will be tremendous
[+10] u/callsonreddit: Trump wants a deal with Iran but success of talks unlikely, Israeli officials say
[https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/trump-wants-deal-with-iran-success-talks-unlikely-israeli-officials-say-2026-03-24/](https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/trump-wants-deal-with-iran-success-talks-unlikely-israeli-officials-say-2026-03-24/)
[+10] u/chainerection: The Shah of Iran bought puts
[+9] u/jasherer: Nothing bad will happen it can only good happen. calls
[+9] u/aftherith: "Fool me four times, shame back on you. You are picking on a vulnerable man." -James McCann
[+9] u/215aPhillyiated: Ah yes gold drops to the depths of hell for a month straight then the day I sell is the last day of the drop? Told yall to load up on gld calls Friday
[+9] u/wright_on_: When will Americans realize the power of a general strike
[+9] u/Weak_Emu3659: Some of you are unironically making decisions based on what a dishwasher company that makes up 20% of these asian stock market exchanges is doing overnight.
[+9] u/Emotional-Donut-7731: I have done no research, but went in on Wheat 3x and Coffee 3x - because i like coffee and croissants are awesome
[+9] u/htowns: 20 YR GOV BONDS @5%
GASOLINE @$4/GAL
DIESEL @$6/GAL
MORTGAGE RATES @7%
AIRPORT WAIT TIMES @3 HOURS
MEXICANS, STILL ALIVE
ARE YOU GUYS TIRED OF WINNING YET?!?
[+9] u/silverfutes: Hey guys, I’m doing roof inspections in your area tomorrow and I was wondering…
[+8] u/looool_k_libtard: Another great week, TGIF!
[+8] u/M4roon: I've actually been so happy this last few days, minus the war and everything.
[+8] u/Cress-Used: I have got one Aladdin news and one Aladdin news. Which one you want to hear?
[+8] u/sloanemonroe: Ok, so this is the fourth week of the strait being closed. Supposedly is gonna become a real issue soon
[+8] u/UnivalveX: market literally waiting on next fake ass taco tweet
[+8] u/Jumpinmycar: It’s quiet…. Too quiet…..
[+8] u/ResidentPack4103: Wonder which administration officials turn it is to put out a market manipulating tweet today...
[+8] u/doolytokki: not even a bool or bear market. currently kangaroo market. only kool kids know where its going
winner is long theta or possibly long gamma for a move somewhere outside of this chop.
[+8] u/TakeThatBro: I put my oil in a safe now. My precious.
[+8] u/AbrocomaNegative825: Imagine having to inject your dick with a 3 inch needle every time you wanna fuck cuz you did too many roids in highschool. Ouch.
[+8] u/Gordy_The_Chimp123: There’s no chance this is going to get resolved in the near future, huh?
[+8] u/mightychicken64: BREAKING: you must build additional pylons
[+8] u/ResidentPack4103: BREAKING NEWS
HOWARD LUTDIK PROPOSES 90 NUKES FOR 90 BARRELS OF OIL TO END WAR
WHEN ASKED WHY GIVING IRAN NUKES FOR ONLY ENOUGH OIL TO FILL THE LOCAL WAWA IS PRUDENT
LUTDIK CITED A .02 MOVE UP IN SPY FUTURES AS PROOF 🥭 MAKES THE BEST DEALS
[+8] u/Low-Win-6691: Which part of IT CAN ONLY GOOD HAPPEN did you not understand?
[+8] u/CMac681: Anybody ever walked into a snake chilling in their office at work or just me
[+8] u/twostroke1: Show up to work late ✅
Gamble on my phone all day (in progress)
Send 1 random email and CC my boss so he thinks I actually do something around here.
Leave work early.
It’s a tough job, but someone’s gotta do it.
[+8] u/DanqueLeChay: I’m so sick of the disgusting ber fuks calling the greatest nation on earth a banana republic! It’s obviously a mango kingdom.
[+7] u/joshuarobinsonmsu: Oil on its way back to $65
[+7] u/Roxorek: we gonna fill yesterday's gap for sure
[+7] u/MRROSADOH: im getting motion sickness
[+7] u/Iscratchmybutt: We sinking today. I am ready to deploy my capital because I’m a patient value investor… DCA leaps
[+7] u/HARCYB-throwaway: Shit so hard my lower back hurts
[+7] u/Helios420A: i’m old enough to remember when googl had green days
[+7] u/Due-Dirt-8428: Very weird vibes here today
[+7] u/Capt_Chickenpox: Oil didn't get the memo that the war is still going on
[+7] u/Thumbszilla: US cannabis was the top performing sector yesterday... It's finally happening
https://preview.redd.it/c4jfowq3bzqg1.png?width=3000&format=png&auto=webp&s=444d49ea18a06de99476929e7721fb8de218c2c0
[+7] u/soad1331: Good morning my fellow regards. Are we ready to lose money today?
[+6] u/Locus_In_Quo: "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time". -Abe Lincoln
'It serves as a reminder that while tricks or false narratives may work briefly, they cannot deceive everyone continuously, highlighting the eventual triumph of truth.'
[+6] u/silverfutes: I love some orange chicken, but this is the third fortune cookie in a row that called me a pussy.
[+6] u/Notable_Naps: Looking like a lovely day to lose money gambling once again
[+6] u/OkDraft0: Haven't made any money in 6 months. How can I change that?
[+6] u/pinghing: I was promised a McDonald's egg sausage mcmuffin 3000 years ago
[+6] u/Icy_Calligrapher7080: I'm not sure people realize how much worse the drop will be the longer this is put off.
[+6] u/UnivalveX: wake me up when actually dump on bad/fake news
[+6] u/RogerBalderer: My parents are in fixed income, boomers are smart
[+6] u/hayleybts: I'm switching sides, it's red sea
[+6] u/Elons-Musky-Balls: Marines inbound Straight of America Confirmed
[+6] u/sirkarmalots: It’s taco Tuesday, did we attack yet?
[+6] u/arbitraryBlue: Gas going up 20¢ in a 12 hour span is crazy 😭😭
[+6] u/Revolutionary-Owl766: How funny would it be if Iran demanded that Trump pay for a border wall
[+6] u/KlBAS: Iran will be paid in trump coin for damages
[+6] u/sirkarmalots: There’s a 60M tinder lawsuit for discrimination. That’s why no one ever swiped right on me, not because I’m a fugly regard
[+6] u/NewLifeInAfghanistan: My entire thesis rests on today being taco Tuesday. If he doesn't tweet today I'm closing my calls until next Monday
[+5] u/lazy_apple: Get ready for another gross day
[+5] u/BFox1982: You know she's classy because she has a tramp stamp of handlebars.
[+5] u/GoProVI: No bomb tweet thing morning to skyrocket us to the moon? 🫣 we got a red day ahead boys
[+5] u/BigLawBurnerSoNoDox: I legitimately don’t know what the fuck to do at this point. 🥭 pumping markets saying war is going to end soon, but Iran saying hell nah + video evidence shows it’s escalating.
[+5] u/phagebiscotti: Good morning SPY. Time to wake up and moon for absolutely no reason
[+5] u/Groundbreaking-Gap20: Makes no difference to me because I don’t gamble. just DCA into a couple of broad index funds and chill. My life is already full of stress, I think losing a ton of money would send me over the edge 🤣
[+5] u/LostMyMag: I wonder how it was like in these threads back during the massive green days mid covid crash
[+5] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/redpillsbluepills made a bet that USO would go to 80.0 within **2 weeks** when it was 105.673 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 0 wins and 3 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+5] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Probably gonna be choppy today. Put/call ratio is 1.05.
[+5] u/AirwickS: International markets holding up better than expected given the recent news of Iran bombing the shit out Israel and dunking on 🟧
[+5] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: From october to today i have lost around 2k-3k USD and i can barely sleep. This game is not for me.
I will be moving my spamming in boggleheads it seems
[+5] u/kaapooj: this conflict is a god send for countries with a good reputation and high safety and not at a real threat of a regional/global power or being involved in a conflict of theirs (ignoring a us-china conflict).
supply chains will be more diverse, more local and rerouted to such good reputation, safe countries e.g. canada, switzerland
[+5] u/trueblueozguy: I ve not eaten in two days. Thank you for your attention to this matter
[+5] u/Previous_Hope_2087: I will not buy far OTM 0DTE. I will not buy far OTM 0DTE. I will not buy far OTM 0DTE.
[+5] u/Aromatic-Ad-6244: At this point just stop with the daily threads fml
[+5] u/pussinbuuts: people who say ahh are cringe
just say ass like a normal heterosexual man
[+5] u/rm0277: One of you regards in here is right… the challenge is finding you 🫵
[+34] u/Concerned_Fanboy: >Pakistani sources said that the US vice-president, JD Vance, was being put forward as a probable chief negotiator from the US side if talks went ahead, rather than Witkoff or Trump’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner
Dont worry guys the dude who doesnt take his shirt off in the pool is going to take care of it.
[+26] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Amazon went from, "we're gonna use drones for deliveries"
To, "Our services near Bahrain are being affected by drone activity"
Why doesnt Amazon send their drones up to do battle with the other drones? Are they stupid?
[+25] u/CUbuffGuy: First time in a rigged market?
Historically, when governments manipulate the market, it works for a little while. Then once the market participants get burned by this on either side, they stop participating. Waiting for the force causing the corruption to end before they resume investment.
This leads to dried up liquidity. Especially in illiquid markets (see private credit).
This leads to a whole host of other things, but the main takeaway is it’s a slow death.
No circuit breakers, more of a trend down slowly for 3-5 years kinda deal.
[+21] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Iran just cut gas exports to Turkey. Qatar LNG already offline. Hormuz closed. Turkey is now an energy importing country with no energy coming in, 40% inflation, and $30 billion in capital flight. When Turkey breaks, and it will, go look at who’s holding Turkish debt. Starts with D, ends with eutsche Bank 🌈🐻📉
[+19] u/dylanx5150: We're gonna get WWIII before we get GTA VI.
[+19] u/HistorianMuch8963: You are not addicted to shitposting in the daily thread
You are actively monitoring the geopolitic situation
[+17] u/2c-b_day: You realize doing nothing is also a position, right?
[+17] u/AppleJuiceTwo: The fuck are people freaking out about. I didn’t see anything
[+15] u/No-Sympathy-686: You have money
You dont have money
You have money
You dont have money
😆🤣😂😹 🤡
[+15] u/astromouse2024: At SOME POINT, someone will make literal millions shorting oil
That person will NOT be me
[+15] u/OrdinaryMix4013: When taco gonna send gas relief gift cards lmaoooo
[+14] u/orsomeshitidk: If we’re being fr society peaked with the IPhone 3G and cell service being slow enough to make mobile social media a pain enough that it didn’t pervade society.
[+14] u/DismalCreme4680: So he just lied about “negotiations” to buy time for boots on the ground
[+14] u/SalemKinkTrials: Pretty obvious what the play is today (I’m 0 for 5)
[+13] u/Independent-Visit139: they should just stop this war rn before I get angry
[+13] u/Internal_Field5970: Good morning guys
Has Voldemort sent out any owls this morning?
[+13] u/cbusoh66: Market sideways until Friday as it tries to separate fact from fiction. Selloff delayed til further notice
[+13] u/orsomeshitidk: Did the most dad shit ever this morning and got the toddler all ready for daycare. Loaded him up in his car seat all snug. Pulled up to daycare and opened his door and forgot his god damn shoes
Had to go buy some and bringing them back now cause I don’t have time to go home and back lol
[+13] u/I-STATE-FACTS: anyone else not have a life and just refresh the daily thread
[+12] u/Standard-Top-5942: Remember when blatantly lying about inauguration crowd size was something we all were worried about?
[+12] u/Sorry_Attempt_1264: I'm mostly in cash anyway. I think I'm gong to close everything out, and stay in bonds or something until we get this jackass out of office. You can't really trade a market where the whole thing can turn on any random made-up tweet. This markets not even trading on headlines anymore; it's trading onlies. We have a deal with Iran? We do? Iran doesn't seem to know about it.
[+12] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: you know that the world is fked when the market starts trusting iranian claims instead of the white house
[+12] u/drpa1n: He will 🌮 when 10y hits 3.5 and/or 30y hits 5, just like with tariffs. I’ll never forget when he did that interview after and said ”I was watching the bond market, the bond market is a very tricky thing” after he had watched Jamie dimon on fox explaining why it’s bad
[+11] u/benj760486: You claimed to be in talks with Iran the missle detectors determined that is a lie
[+11] u/CEO-of-SOXL: If you aren’t bearish anymore, sorry you’re regarded.
[+11] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: I love this place. Its a bunch of people who are down all-time, confidently exclaiming that the market is gonna crash any second now.
[+11] u/Grey-59throwaway: I don't even have any positions open yet and I already know I'm fucked
[+11] u/spsteve: I'm still stunned by the fact the market didn't fully retrace on that manipulation yesterday. I can't be the only one knowing this is going to catch up with it at some point right?? right???
[+11] u/HAND__EGG: Im so fucking tired
Im so fucking tired
Im so fucking tired
[+11] u/Muted-South4737: We peaked in the 90s. Windows XP was the GOAT.
[+11] u/Roygbiv-Turtle-98: wake up
pick calls or puts
place order at open
watch money disappear
do it again tomorrow
[+10] u/cardboard-junkie: Man im getting a bit fat
[+10] u/Visible_Sir7057: Why is the word mango being classed as political
[+10] u/Australopitecus137: you know this timeline is one of a kind when literally every Mango’s post is a insider trading exhibition and everyone acknowledges it and moves on to the next post till it becomes a natural “it is what it is” kind of reaction. in a different timeline even the WH janitors would be jailed for it. so, it is what it is.
[+10] u/disrepaired: De-escalation talks looks like they’ve been going well
[+10] u/TropicalOinkment: See you in Valhalla, brother
[+10] u/collegefootballfan69: Iranian officials decline meeting invite to negotiate the end of the war
[+10] u/victoryboiiTCG: Oh so it’s actual war
[+10] u/AgitatedStranger9698: If he had just done nothing, the entire world would be in a better place.
Inflation would be under control. Income woudl be up. Employment would be up. Literally every single economic indicator took a nose dive as he implemented his policies in April.
[+9] u/Homeless-Coward-2143: All these newbs asking what happened. Try not to make it so obvious that you don't know which polymarket account is Barron's.
[+9] u/WarenBoffet: Bols hoping 🥭 pussy out
Bers hoping 🥭 act like a clown
what a time to be american
[+9] u/Plebbitsoy: Friday closing 🥭 will put boots on the ground.
Things will go bad and the market will panic
Before opening 🥭 will post on truth social that we are winning biggly and the ghost of the Ayatollah has surrendered.
Big green dildo and positive by opening
[+9] u/ChampagnePapi-: FREAK OUT AND SELL EVERYTHING
[+9] u/Unsavory1: I wouldnt be trading today. Only movement will be headlines. Don't get bushwhacked.
[+9] u/Chemical_Fly8816: What time does Iran break the casino today?
[+9] u/thetalentedmrbowser: Amerifats about to host the worst World Cup of all time
[+9] u/hv876: Hit you with the pump yesterday. Liquidate you with the dump today.
[+9] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: labor productivity falling because everyone who could've been laid off already has been and the remaining employees have lost their last *fuhks* ☺️
[+8] u/Snoo_9489: When is Mango making his trading signal discord public, I want to turn $11 into 1.5m million
[+8] u/Skilledthunder: How has no one here gotten inside trumps inner circle for market manipulation. Surely someone out there has access
[+8] u/Ok-Faithlessness689: Gamecock not being on the earnings thread really just shows how pussy those wsb mods have become
[+8] u/Basis_404_: *SPY opens at second lowest level of the year*
Bulls: those Bears are so dumb
[+8] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: The market will be going down. Thank you for your attention to this matter
[+8] u/hiphopanonomos: Everyone asking why futes are red lmao
[+8] u/Madsen13140: Imagine being relying on oil to produce...electricity 🤡
[+8] u/Basis_404_: From November 29, 2024 to today the equal weight SP500 is only up 2%.
[+8] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Why did the fed say the US was basically insolvent, and why is Noone talking about it? Also, wtf does insolvent mean? I post frequently in wsb, so please eli5.
[+8] u/Beagle001: How do you trade this market with corruption at the highest level manipulating it? If the wrong stocks are going up (the trend), then a tweet comes out and wipes the board clean and you're supposed to start over? That's insane.
[+8] u/borkdpasito: Bols are getting sent to the shadow realm by surging oil today
[+8] u/EnginrA: One of my friends told me he now “plays for the other team”, but he doesn’t play any sports? 🤔
[+8] u/Remarkable_Owl: I know this is hurting our portfolios and wallets, but we have to remain resolute: those Iranian bastards somehow stole a Tomahawk cruise missile off a Navy ship in the Indian Ocean hundreds of miles away and bombed their own children. Losing all our money is a small price to pay for justice. 🇺🇸
[+8] u/DismalCreme4680: So he thinks sending messages through Pakistan and Turkey is “negotiations”
[+8] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: this is your daily reminder to whisper *FINANCIALCRISIS* to a boomer near you 🫵
[+8] u/LeBhikariLe: after tariffs, companies will get to hike prices again because of oil. They will never come back down
[+8] u/hiphopanonomos: The US 10 yr creeping up again, RIP mortgage rates
[+8] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Im trying to sell a house, can yall please keep the 10yr down for another month or 2?
[+8] u/Fancy_Cattle_5914: SPY straight down lmfao perfectly vertical line
[+7] u/dontslambro: Markets slipping. So glad we all got insider traded yesterday. Fuck corruption
[+7] u/e30jawn: At least the massive insider trading is being talked about finally.
[+7] u/Geeshy: Market go green, market go red, either way, pants go brown.
[+7] u/Spear_n_Magic_Helmet: FCC banned all routers made outside of US.. okay…
[+7] u/makhnosfork: Launching missiles while hitting chuckles the clown with “fake news” is raw as fuck.
[+7] u/avdvetf: Step 1. Take off his shirt and strip him down bare.
Step 2. Rub him down in butter and spices.
Step 3. Tie his hands behind his back.
Step 4. Put an apple in his mouth.
Step 5. Give him to the persians and hope they forgive us and open the strait.
[+7] u/Gambled4MyRangeRover: Bears. We attack when 8:30 data comes out
[+7] u/Soffatjockis: I love tits.
Except when the market goes tits up.
[+7] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: America created a class of rich people that aren’t even American anymore. Lmao they literally don’t care if this country goes under. Dumb motherfuckers, this is why taxes and antitrust enforcement are important. Anyway, SPY 660 calls.
[+7] u/bavini1190: Please ignore the missiles! These are the best peace talks that anyone has ever seen. No one talks like this! If a missile hits something important, just keep pumping my market! Thank you for your attention to this matter!
[+7] u/Independent-Tree-985: BBC says 'maybe Mango is just ''testing the waters'' for what a peace deal could feel like'
🍆✋️️↕️
[+7] u/Wsb_optionstrader: Why Chevron and Exxon not tanking with USO and crude oil price?
[+7] u/victoryboiiTCG: Start the money printer fuck it who cares any more
[+7] u/pleasestoptalkin: I used to go to Joe Rogan for advice in times like these, but RIP.
[+7] u/WocketWaccoon: TOM “FAT CUCK” LEE SAYS THE IRAN WAR IS THE REASON MARKETS ARE RALLYING!!!
[+7] u/BobsBurners420: So anyways back to dumping
[+6] u/Bonghead13: Fun fact: Every single time you've been prescribed antibiotics, you would have died without them
[+6] u/Visible_Sir7057: Gonna lose my virginity today , any tips?
[+6] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: Another day of not doing anything at work but trade options. Freight broker lifestyle
[+6] u/Ante_social_music: Trump lying is priced in, calls
[+6] u/Flat-Focus7966: 80% of folks here want a dump
Pump it is....
[+6] u/Skilledthunder: I fucking HATE people that post "WTF WAS THAT" with no context. Like bro chill, its the premarket. Its probably just 2 dudes fat fingering an order
[+6] u/Disconn3cted: Who else is playing with his balls right now?
[+6] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Couch fucker is leading negotiations now .. this is just great
[+6] u/Cabbage854: Mango is laying the foundations for the final TACO and declare victory. He'll walk away within 2 weeks, mark my words. People say he will invade kharg, but they're using the marines for leverage in negotiations. US does not want kharg infrastructure to be destroyed. Calls!
[+6] u/xlaco: Bless my calls from yesterday
[+6] u/darkspherei: this meme market is so fake and gay
[+6] u/UnintelligibleThing: Here comes the dump.
[+6] u/tika_dengu: Bangladesh hike fuel by 76%. Didn’t they get the memo that Oil is going down?
[+6] u/HAND__EGG: What the fuck is happening
[+6] u/Bokehmon_: This is how civilization ends. At least how my port ends.
[+6] u/dylanx5150: Why would Sleepy Joe do this to us?
[+6] u/HAND__EGG: I can’t keep doing this every day man…
Im so exhausted
[+6] u/UsernameTaken_123: Stonk go down? Thats umpossible!
[+6] u/According-Page8618: why am i even a bol when every single day we start red
[+6] u/michaelis999: remember when sleepy was president and the worst we worried about was how many gaffes hed do in a speech/interview
[+6] u/aniote: after all this time and ample consideration and reflection I have come to the realization that maybe President DJT doesn't have a strategy
[+6] u/claytondpark: Just a daily reminder: the mods r ghey
[+6] u/Ok_Abbreviations8440: So you’re telling me I can get a whole barrel of oil for $91 instead of going to Autozone
[+6] u/symplton: Mr. Make Believe's story telling has done nothing but give Iranians both credibility and legitimacy, and as an added benefit, new global influence with emerging markets all while burning billions of dollars sending our carriers all over the place for .. what? Oils o'er 100 again. Reactionary behaviors are ruling the theater of battle, nothing makes sense, and no one has f-ing control of the situation.
[+6] u/Beneficial-Age-9293: Trump could tweet "guaranteed 3% uppies today because I'll rig it myself" and the MMs would still shake me out before it happens.
[+6] u/Alarming_Assistant21: If we wanted your opinion, then we'd shove our hand up your butt and work your mouth like a sock puppet
[+6] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: their adderall delusions
[+6] u/Schmidisl_: Im not a car guy, but are synchronized exhausts something like when the periods of two women synchronize when they spent time together?
If so, it's more than 2% gay
[+5] u/jda823: I'm ready for the stream of dumbasses to come in and go "nothing changed since yesterday, why red?". Y'all need to find better news sources
[+5] u/Disconn3cted: I'm a slut. I'm a whore. Give me all your dicks, please.
[+5] u/ComfortablePiglet842: Today is an elevator down type day. Trade cautiously. Probably going to be volatile so be prepared to buy cheap premiums and ride them. Market value is not your friend today. Dont throw too much money into the market at once, trickle your cash into the market throughout the morning.
[+5] u/Confident-Window4928: 🥭 buying time for the marines to get to the ME. So flat til Friday and then circuit breaker AH when he invades. Clock it.
[+5] u/UnintelligibleThing: Market is suspiciously quiet (that I thought my internet died). Preparing for a huge move.
[+5] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Buy volume up, 🥭 son just read new post before it goes live
[+5] u/X-CaliberRacing: Burning options on both ends today
[+5] u/blemdemman: Laying in bed scratching my balls waiting for market open, yep
[+5] u/Dorkasteri: Iran is financing this war with $2 million payment per shipping companny passing the Strait of Hormuz. Meaning Iran can keep on going longer than expected. Meaning the US can’t win this war without boots on the ground.
You have to options, puts or calls. Everything depends on if you think Mango is a bitch or not. Investing 101.
[+5] u/ExoticDaikon1872: holy dip, reverse taco ? or what happened
[+5] u/confusedp: Which one of you made a 1.5 billion bet?
Crossing my fingers for one of Trump's kid to reply
[+5] u/Several_Bread_9144: Its joever bols. This dump were the insiders positioning. Mongo boots on the ground truth incoming
[+5] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: Big red dildos incoming oil calls might still print
[+5] u/Spear_n_Magic_Helmet: _wears knife catching gloves_
Have a feeling these will come in handy
[+5] u/Concerned_Fanboy: Day 25 of the weekend nothing burger operation.
[+5] u/AgeMiddle854: A red sun rises, blood has been spilt this night.
[+5] u/octopus4488: Wild idea:
Somebody should hire a guy (maybe even two?) at the Pentagon to think about what could happen if they attack a foreign country. It would help the president making his 101% calculated moves even more perfectly.
Just an idea.
[+5] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: It makes sense to go down, so calls is the play.
[+5] u/Suspicious_Ad6172: Everyone takes a dump in the morning right?
[+5] u/gorilla148: I am happy gold is trading mostly sideways. Removes all of the shitty forex gurus off my Instagram page.
[+5] u/TimingEzaBitch: petition to require at least a PhD to comment on this sub.
[+5] u/Basis_404_: The last of the pre-war oil tankers that go out will have reached their delivery destinations this week.
Meaning the oil supply problem gets real instead of just hypothetical
[+5] u/Key-Jaguar7630: Shitty pump and dump market
[+5] u/trsx5: Bears are depressing
[+5] u/Williamnguyen62838: IM IN THE GHETTO RA TA TA TA
[+5] u/yyn1999: Either oil is lying or Market is lying. My Money is on the real world commodity
[+5] u/vagabond_primate: Trump say war over, stonk go up. Iran say no, bomb Isreal, stonk still go up. War over or no? Stonk up or down? So confused.
[+5] u/Scumegg: shit stays flat all day then the moment I buy it dips lmao you can't make this shit up.
[+5] u/Retaining-Wall: Honestly I can really relate with this market. I also need a coffee and a dart before I can dump.
[+5] u/hiphopanonomos: If someone placing a 1.5 billion dollar bet on stocks going up and Oil down 5 minutes before that truth social post isn't investigated then there is no SEC and all earnings have probably been fudged for a year now
[+5] u/Mahrez-: Did the programmers building LLMs three years ago realize they were making the noose for themselves?
[+5] u/AppleJuiceTwo: Bro workforce strikes are not uniquely American by any measure
[+5] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: You think you can negotiate with Iran is laughable
[+39] u/edthechimp: https://preview.redd.it/r95q7ilwrzqg1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=74f3063a0aa49e0ad3f4edae1a201a7a88e28c17
[+31] u/HolographicHeart: The good news: Oil calls are on pace to print
The bad news: That guy who rides a bike to work every day is going to be extra insufferable for the next forever
[+21] u/HonestScar7176: You guys he has no plan 😆
[+21] u/leeuwvanvlaanderen: The Judeo-Islamic-Christian conspiracy to fuck my portfolio continues
[+19] u/thegx7: I call upon mods to put 🥭 recent tweet at the top of the discussion thread. It's necessary in this market
[+18] u/shortgamegolfer: Iran bombing people during pre-market is a sign that they aren’t morons
[+18] u/BioRam: I am become bear, destroyer of bull
[+18] u/Boheed: It's funny that whenever a recession hits, everybody is like "you know, the recession probably actually began like a year ago"
[+17] u/I_work_too_much: Every day can be a half day if you just fucking leave.
[+17] u/Icebxrg_: Let me guess, the biggest move today was premarket and we trade flat all day?
[+16] u/BioRam: people buying calls on exit liquidity day
I'm glad we're inclusive to the regard community
[+15] u/Sidney_Godsby: For some, this thread is the only socialization they’ll get today.
[+15] u/Rosebunse: There's a new person at work and their car is covered in pornagraphic anime bumper stickers.
[+15] u/No_Current3675: *Achievement unlocked!*
*You unlocked the Fuck Yourself In the Ass with a Cactus achievement in the wallstreetbets community. Check it out.*
[+15] u/cl0udNinja: I guess even the algos realized TACO doesn't work every time
[+14] u/Cold_Distribution273: Fox news calling 🥭 's Iran strategy a "doctrine of unpredictability"
Lol.
[+14] u/AcademicStandard3701: $640 today bears let’s get it 🐻 🏳️🌈
[+14] u/Colloquial: Bols remember, it's not bers who did it, we just bet on it!
[+13] u/b_rock957: The market would be green if people still dressed up when they flew
[+13] u/CoopCrossing: Bought for the first time today a first class ticket proud retard
[+13] u/modder9: The war will continue until every Ber has a lambo
[+13] u/chuastan: Too tired to care. This was all self inflicted. I’m not taking further action till this is over. 10 years more of corporate drudgery here I come
[+13] u/CompoteSpecialist618: SEND A TWEET YOU FAT PRICK MY KIDS ARE STARVING
[+13] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: That why you should only do TACO on Tuesdays. Monday TACO does not work
[+12] u/Iunatic: I usually only fly to and within Asia. Forgot how fat people are in the US. Why do these leviathans not have to buy two seats when they take up a whole row?
[+12] u/WebHead1287: Market so red I confused it for my morning shit
[+12] u/powerboner: Guys, this is the THIRD TIME they tweeted out bullshit to get a pump for Barron and you fell for it…again? You deserve to lose your money.
[+12] u/LiamPhlegmsworth: The market hasn’t gone up since they took our emojis away. Give us back the shrek dongs and cliffords!
[+11] u/SuccotashSea3441: SPY looks like it wants to tank so bad. Just need the right headline to help it over the cliff.
[+11] u/BadBoyBilbo: Some days I get my dopamine hits by throwing a k or 2 on SPY 0dtes.
Some days I get it by shitposting here just to fuck with other people’s emotions.
Today, I have no inclination to gamble and nothing provocative to say.
Color me depressed.
[+11] u/LeftBullTesty: the guh heard across the strait
[+11] u/LimitIntelligent9946: Dip buyers thought they were safe yesterday LMAO.. honestly a lot of you all deserve to be bankrupt and taught a lesson about risk
[+11] u/LiamPhlegmsworth: I think we all know who is to blame for the market downturn. Carole baskin
[+11] u/LeftBullTesty: i can’t believe this regard actually thought asking China to pressure iran would ease the energy scare, much less actually happen
KEK
[+11] u/AcademicStandard3701: Bears are about to undo trumps entire scam candle.
[+11] u/iFiredIce: 10 minutes to market open but 0 seconds till this beer is opened
[+11] u/Gom_KBull: Imagine falling for that bull trap yesterday and bragging about it LMAO
# ╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭
[^(KEEN TOCKY)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJOiIRuF0CA&t=4339s)
[+11] u/frogboyjr: at what point do the bulls deploy and try to end the war themselves
[+11] u/hioman01: Freak the fuck out in 1 minute
[+10] u/Difficult_Resort5292: Philippines declares ‘national energy emergency’ due to war
Philippine President Marcos has declared a state of “national energy emergency”, citing risks to the domestic fuel supply and energy stability created by the Middle East war.
[+10] u/TheScourgeOfHumanity: You have to pay the troll's toll to get in
[+10] u/All_FIREdUp: My coworker wants to drain their 401(k) to buy a new car. I can’t stand them so I encouraged them to do it.
Gotta play the long game bois
[+10] u/elvee61: He's talking to some Pakistani guy behind the counter at the 7-11. He can't tell the difference between brown people.
[+10] u/spurkulator: I lose money on puts all year for days like this
[+10] u/Whoopziedaisy: “But Trump said!”
Lmao
[+10] u/OkAlternative7705: So yesterday was just a dead cat bounce? No way who would have thought
[+10] u/FartPolluter: If Iran doesnt open the Strait of Hormuz in 48 hours, I will be disappointed not angry
- 🥭
[+10] u/soa333: SPY derangenent syndrome is real
[+10] u/ercanbas: Mango speaking at 1:30 est today
[+10] u/PunisherR1: Remeber that time when TACO meant something
[+10] u/cl0udNinja: The most hilarious part of this whole debacle is we literally kicked a hornets next in an enclosed cave with 0 exit strategy, "The art of the deal"
[+10] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: That GetZukked mod who only comments clowning bears is oddly absent every red day
[+10] u/Puzzleheaded-Image-4: Bolls are getting a kick in the calls today.
[+10] u/BigBritches619: Ya ur fuckin tweets aren’t working now are they u fuck. You fuck around so much with the economy a tweet can’t just undo it anymore bitch ass orangutan
[+10] u/Stmast: We need % lost, not absolutes
[+9] u/Due-Information-6277: Poor bulls just making things up now to make themselves feel better.
[+9] u/OsamaBagHolding: I will mourn mangos passing like Erika mourned Charlie
[+9] u/gregory601: Welp, blew the port, see yall next month. Godspeed!
[+9] u/Difficult_Resort5292: Israeli army reports incoming missiles from Iran
Israel’s military says it has detected a wave of missiles from Iran heading towards the country for the second time in under two hours.
[+9] u/Dumb__Money: CNBC: S&P 500 futures pull back after Monday’s rally as oil prices rebound, Iran conflict continues.
This is called: business as usual.
[+9] u/DumbNutter: My calls are so cooked
[+9] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Lmao at Iran charging a strait toll. Must be making a killing off this
[+9] u/jasperCrow: *SAUDI PRINCE IS SAID TO PUSH TRUMP TO CONTINUE IRAN WAR: NYT
[+9] u/dontlikeyacutG: Toilet gang checking in 🫡
[+9] u/Dbestinvest: Exit liquidity yesterday
[+9] u/CultureForsaken3762: A lot of new bagholders were created yesterday.
Will there be a new cohort to join them this morning?
Tune in to find out!
[+9] u/elvee61: 11 minutes. Go piss, get coffee, smoke and get your sorry ass back in here.
[+9] u/modder9: Bols turning into product meat in the big arch
[+9] u/LeftBullTesty: “Saudi Prince Is Said to Push Trump to Continue Iran War in Recent Calls
Prince Mohammed bin Salman sees a “historic opportunity” to remake the region, according to people briefed by U.S. officials on the conversations.”
- NYT
your calls are actually fucking fried
[+9] u/potentialPast: the rest of the world has to be utterly terrified of us at the moment ... we have corrupt idiots in charge of an insolvent economy and crumbling social contracts ... we have huge problems to fix and our only hammer is the military now
[+8] u/Cold_Distribution273: When 🥭 croaks do you think the market will rip as hard as it does when he tells a "truth"
[+8] u/ArchegosCapitalCEO: I love how when I finally buy MSFT it goes nowhere. Fun
[+8] u/A55BAG: Today I learned from twitter that Tesla is going to disrupt ASML and TSMC with it's chip business.
The narrative always has to change now that TSLA is behind the competition in humanoid robots and self-driving cars 🫠
[+8] u/TheMightySet69: *Forever War intensifies*
[+8] u/OftenOlives: Bonds up
Dollar up
Oil climbing
Buls really thought
[+8] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: I only use one monitor and make trades solely based on colors on screen and vibes
[+8] u/Puzzleheaded-Image-4: Doesn't look good. Not even the usual dumbass bull pop.
[+8] u/kerrykingzgo-T: Pretty sure SPY will be a penny stock by 2027. Standby for OTC trading
[+8] u/shortgamegolfer: Market’s down today due to the uncertainty caused by quad amputees now being able to win cornhole tournaments and also gun you down.
[+8] u/spellbadgrammargood: People who bought thinking Trump was in talks deserve their bags.
[+7] u/14BrewMan: Good morning (we should starting saying good morning here, because its a nice fucking thing to say).
[+7] u/FinanialGambler777: Idk what happened but Barron knows
[+7] u/Mr643: Australia out of petrol. How can I short this
[+7] u/SSkilledJFK: How many here barely gamble but love to hang out with the regards because they make you laugh? ✋
[+7] u/wilhelm96: We burn off every last red cent from yesterday. Another typical turnaround Tuesday
[+7] u/miata_only: Some people are saying we're really close to a ceasefire and the end of the war, you guys.
[+7] u/Lapidated_Llama: Peace talks are “fake news” per Iran 😂😂
[+7] u/Ameri0425: Officially scaled everything out of my options account save for one GOOG LEAPS, and dumped it all into FXAIX for the long haul while things are down
No gambling for me for a while. I'll be back tho.
[+7] u/FartPolluter: Devs better retcon this Iran War event. Totally ruined the pay2win dynamic.
[+7] u/RDDT_100P: Release the Hopium reserves!
[+7] u/chuastan: To be honest I just wish to get back to the real stocks. This is detracting and tiring. Rather start watching back the fundamentals Ala Tim Duncan
[+7] u/GladDiscount6749: 3-5 inches of vix is actually a lot.., it’s actually a lot when you see it in person. But you still can have fun with it.. 9-12 inches… you wouldn’t even know how to be able to function, with that amount. You can’t do anything with that
[+7] u/kawkface: BILLIONS AND BILLIONS AND BILLIONS AND BILLIONS
[+7] u/newtoeso: So here comes the weekly rugpull til a tweet next Monday morning and then again weekly rugpull into tweet?
[+7] u/h3yyoun6w0rld: Pre market is a fkn scam
[+7] u/LeftBullTesty: $1 billion dollars taken from our economy to convince wind farmers to cancel their projects while oil is skyrocketing. You cannot make this up
[+7] u/Few-Adhesiveness6959: Let tesla hit 360 today
[+7] u/CulturalConclusion76: Poots on every TACO pump for free money
[+7] u/wildcat1055: Is it even a TACO if everyone knows you will TACO?
[+7] u/No-Fox-4742: SPY $640 by noon today ?
[+7] u/No-Insurance100: Can't wait to have all of these delicious gains reversed at 1:30 pm when 🥭 lies through his teeth, Iran state TV denies it 30-45 minutes later, but everyone buys it for the 100th time
[+7] u/Dismal_Foundation784: I am down 40 percent on my msft leaps fmlll
[+7] u/Queasy_Soil9646: Do you know how much of US tech economy depends on Gulf money? Which is being burned in this war
[+6] u/Bichael-Murry: BREAKING: $MSFT CEO CAUGHT STREET DEFECATING DOWNTOWN SAN FRANCISCO
[+6] u/Salty-Bid1597: A surprising number of Americans can't differentiate between supporting Iran and thinking bombing Iran was a bad idea.
Actually not surprising at all.
[+6] u/Visible_Sentence_399: Just got my car tricked out on some sweet anime sticker wraps 😎 dude at work has been checking it out all day
[+6] u/Rootlevelprivileges: Another LNG explosion reported on X
[+6] u/Kattilaeikka: Imagine buying stocks or calls here lmao.
[+6] u/GittingerFredl: I love my rug. It really ties the room together.
[+6] u/Existential_Entropy: Should I go gayer-than-normal bear today?
[+6] u/Shoddy_Ad897: The vibes yesterday already gone?
[+6] u/Comfortable-Sky7801: Who else is cash gang rn?
[+6] u/night_shredder: *for what is dumped, cannot dump*
\- anonymous retard, Anno Domini 2026
[+6] u/SoloOutdoor: Are we unburdened by what has been?
[+6] u/Different_Message312: iran charging a toll get ready for that 🥭 tweet
[+6] u/rubsdikonxpensivshit: Sometimes simple strategies are the best. If I look at it and I think it looks like uppies I buy calls and if it looks downsies I buy puts. If it goes in my direction a little I panic sell to lock gain to watch it go up 300% minutes later and when it goes against me I lie to myself saying it’s going to turn around any minute until it’s almost worthless. It’s a thing of beauty really
[+6] u/Scarfaceb1tch: Really would have preferred to open at least -2% but I’ll take it as long as we keep the drill going. Need 645 today
[+6] u/knoqd_: > 🚨 SAUDI PRINCE IS SAID TO PUSH TRUMP TO CONTINUE IRAN WAR: NYT
[+6] u/killainvest: Sold all my calls yesterday, sitting on a pile of cash :)
[+6] u/cyril1991: I would like to thank President Donald J Trump for allowing me to exit my positions yesterday.
[+6] u/Paincoast89: i have puts but why are we dumping
[+6] u/Colloquial: Bols gasping for any tweet is their investment "strategy"
[+6] u/MadHat0815: So, I’ve been on holiday for the past week, and now you’re telling me that our favourite Ketamine Addict wants to surpass both ASML and TSMC in terms of technology, while they’re not even able to produce their own battery cells with a decent yield at scale?
Sure Elmo sure... Anything to pump the stock I guess...
[+6] u/EarlyPattern6315: Buls dont get it.
Every pump in the next months for me is a short entry.
Puuuuuuts.
[+6] u/BioRam: how much do you think I can pawn off my wifes boyfriends football trophies for?
[+6] u/grimandnordic1: Sooo uhhh... ya'll got any more of that manipulation ?? My calls are fading 😫
[+6] u/met_art: The never loosing tactic - keep extending the deadline until they open the straight 🧠
[+6] u/LeftBullTesty: 8 minutes before the season finale to spy 650’s
[+6] u/bm_mane8: I cant believe american people are so chill knowing the market is completely rigged based on what happened yesterday. Your leader is literally looting money off retail and positioning you as exit liquidity.
[+6] u/Advanced_Divide_4641: “Anything you say can and will be used only against you by the ai overlords protecting the ultra rich.”
[+6] u/TheBlueBlaze: > "If you 'obliterated' their nuclear sites last summer, how can you argue it was an imminent threat now?"
> 🥭: "We obliterated them, but that doesn't mean with the right equipment you can't dig down and go get it."
It continues to be insane how anyone can take what he says seriously or at face value.
[+6] u/FartPolluter: USA just walking away and leaving the mess for Europoors to sort out might unironically be the best case scenario right now.
[+6] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: It is so fucking funny to me that this was the anti war anti inflation guy yall picked LMAO PPI in April about to be 6%
[+6] u/TangerineHors3: We should ban bers. Be an echo chamber like the rest of reddit
[+6] u/vermilli21: So SPY 640 it seems. Talking went so well /s
[+6] u/dontlikeyacutG: these are not very strong green candles, the second i say that its gonna blast off lol
[+6] u/Snoo23417: Can't even get a fake pump at open. The orange man is losing his touch.
[+6] u/djklmnop: It's dropping because he lied.
[+6] u/knoqd_: MSFT under the 200 wma
[+6] u/abroadbroadband: # SNIP SNAP SNIP SNAP
[+6] u/2020isgreat: some retards actually went long yesterday lmao
[+5] u/Frozen_Shades: I still love you gold.
[+5] u/EatMaTesticles: We need a french revolution in every country
[+5] u/Comfortable733: 🥭 throwing his shit sandwich of a war on the couch fucker is hilarious
[+5] u/All_FIREdUp: I honestly hope we go into a horrible recession because watching over-leveraged consumers and investors lose their ass will never not be funny
[+5] u/NiceJobSon: Bond market not happy about any of this rigmarole.
[+5] u/Kabrosif: How have we not heard of any hedge funds or banks getting margin called or folding yet? When does that happen on the timeline?
[+5] u/Berto_: One step forward, two steps back.
[+5] u/AngryMillennialFU: So no taco market manipulation tweet today? Guess he got his trade in yesterday...
[+5] u/confused_teabagger: Turn PUMP IT by Electric Callboy all the way up so the neighbors can hear it! We need the vibes to emanate
[+5] u/Napster-mp3: Talks going well?!! Lmao
[+5] u/wilhelm96: Yields, oil, DXY, and VIX all pumping. Pretty solid foundation for bears to eat well today.
[+5] u/kawkface: PEACE TALKS GOING WELLL WTTTFFFFFJWBRDUDHWHDWDJJ
[+5] u/ItInProg: let me guess, futes progress will be inverted right before open, small pump followed by chop all day? everyone expecting dump so gotta be contrarian
[+5] u/AlasKansastan: Oh look they’re fucking with oil again
Fuck this man
[+5] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: Bols need help from the scammer in chief while bers are storming the gates all on our own LMAO
[+5] u/Nervous-Basis-1707: Actually liking calls here with a pre market dump. Might bail my puts at open.
[+5] u/modder9: Will there be any accountability for the Bols yapping their shit?
[+5] u/Numerous_Two_102: Everybody was kung fu fighting
[+5] u/No-Put2311: First they came for the bers now they come for the bols
[+5] u/Late-Combination5060: You know one day, if we make it... They will make a movie like the big short but the insiders are all at mara lago
[+5] u/Erieztoys: Sold PUTS for gains at open. Might be done for the day.
[+5] u/neverthy: Tesla is ai chip company now, that robot thing didn't stick for too long
[+5] u/Antique-Flight-5358: You know Trumps just sitting on a Tweet
[+5] u/Bichael-Murry: LOWER LOWS AND LOWER HIGHS!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
[+5] u/LeDoohickey: TSLA doing one last, “yoo-hoo, boyz. Look over here” before it takes a few more bulls to pound town
[+5] u/AngryYoungandPoor86: Statistically, over half of you voted for this.
[+5] u/Dependent_Boat_3144: Netanyahu Please to stop it, I will convert to Jew
[+5] u/CulturalConclusion76: SPY is on a trip to the center of the earth
[+5] u/Same-Brilliant2014: Dementia don made everything up
[+5] u/Comfortable733: THE WAR WAS STARTED TO PREVENT GAME STORE FROM OPENING 69 STORES IN TEHRAN. 10000 IS NOT A MEME. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER.
[+5] u/BerryExpress: 13 minutes till some of u are gonna fuck around and find out.
and i wont be one of u this time.
[+5] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: A lot of broke bears will FOMO at ATH like usual
[+5] u/7fingersDeep: TSLA up because European car sales are up.
So when TSLA is a car company and there's good news, it goes up.
When TSLA has bad car news, it's a robotics and AI company and it goes up.
[+5] u/Commercial_Seat_3704: MSFT looking for that ever elusive -5% day
[+5] u/sirnutzaIot: MSFT at same price as last year lmao
[+5] u/Miker1730: MSFT filing for bankrupcy lol, no green candles lol
[+5] u/Thoughtful_Tortoise: Are we bots
Or are we idiots
[+5] u/Stonkrates: Bulls are like Reek on GOT
[+5] u/New-Length5593: ABSOLUTELY UNDISPUTED UNDOUBTEDLY UNPRECEDENTED INCREDIBLY FUCKED
[+5] u/greyenlightenment: strait closed until 2028 . the only way to secure it is with land invasion
[+5] u/Accurate-Flow8078: That's not bad, most people here lose that in a day.
[+5] u/InIce1234: Bull just vibing on another relaxing Tuesday.
[+5] u/Marshmallowmind2: Think you'll ever get a normal mild mannered ethical potus again?
[+5] u/Bright_Interaction73: is $MSFT the biggest POS of 2026?
[+5] u/LeftBullTesty: my wife will finally let me thrust this time
[+17] u/shortitforever: Jesus the whole bull thesis in the thread is that Trump will lie to pump it
[+15] u/Burtonwurton: The DOW 50k comment will never not be funny.
[+13] u/dylansavillan: The DOW plummeting day after day following Pam Bondi bragging about it being over $50k gets funnier every day
[+13] u/Rich-Badger-7601: And bye bye Miss American SPY, maybe gainer sometime later but now its time to die
[+13] u/TraipseTraveller: Peak WSB was during the beginning of the pandemic. I feel bad for anyone that missed it. Complete trash now
[+12] u/Sengle473: At least we know a massive sell off going to happen on Friday.
[+12] u/NewDawn101: I’m starting to think someone starting so many wars doesn’t deserve the FIFA Peace Award
[+11] u/lSazedl: The manipulation occurred yesterday, when they bought calls before the tweet and puts before market close. it's that easy
[+11] u/EyeSea7923: I refuse to believe the honest, ethical, fiduciaries controlling the market would pump and dump it.
[+11] u/Technicaltrades404: GUH MY LIFE INTO PIECES
THIS IS MY LAST FULL PORT
[+11] u/davidbigham: Apparently Google and MSFT both located at Iran 🤡🤡
[+10] u/rkillaaa: every time i buy it goes down
[+10] u/Burtonwurton: TSLA remaining green is fucking hilarious to me.
[+10] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: The market can remain irrational longer than indeed the federal government can remain solvent
[+10] u/civillyRange: I'd suck some dick to get some pussy right now damn
[+10] u/delicious_oppai: Oil up, vix up. Yields up and bols think we pumping today 😂🤡
[+10] u/ViridianEight: Iran just LAUNCHED MORE MISSILES and VIX has plummeted. Am I just regarded?
[+10] u/JellyfishLarge3794: Msft 365 looking possible
[+10] u/Seymour_asis501: I guess I’m loss maxing
[+10] u/kemar7856: Omg fuck off Microsoft
[+9] u/dabblesest: Damn MSFT… almost tempted to buy calls, but that shit doesn’t seem to have a bottom
[+9] u/solidsneeze: 🥭 got scammed and actually met with a Nigerian prince
[+9] u/Vegetable_Push6542: I've seen enough. Green by EOD. Bottom is in.
[+9] u/Devastaytah: Scam pump, get those cheap puts
[+9] u/DuaLipa247: Where my $500+ MSFT bag holders
[+9] u/justarandumthrowaway: Okay I’ll do it. I’ll buy puts and save the market
[+9] u/Independent_Term5790: Msft has self liberated
[+9] u/Reply_Stunning: 🥩🥩 marinated bolfuk meat
[+9] u/breaker_bad: I’ve gotten better ROI from a hooker
[+9] u/SighRamp: MSFT first time failed the Weekly 200SMA!!!! Always bounced off it.
[+9] u/Kickboy21: SATYA DO SOMETHING YOU PIECE OF SHIT FUCK
[+9] u/Stevensz1: this doesn’t feel like the bottom
[+9] u/solidsneeze: 🫵you have no idea what's going to happen next
[+9] u/RjBloxks: They’re literally fighting to keep spy up, must be too many puts today
[+8] u/Affectionate-Fault46: Fuck MSFT I hate bill gates
[+8] u/forensicaccountaint: Jarvis, buy high sell low please 🤝
[+8] u/OkRecommendation1040: Msft is such an incredible stock
[+8] u/OnimushaWasGreat: Pretty sure i just bought puts at the bottom lol
[+8] u/catfromgarfield: tsla holding up the market, don't be scared
[+8] u/Kickboy21: Looking at my MSFT makes me want to throw up
[+8] u/LostandConfused2024: Tbh I don’t understand why you thought shit was going to moon today as if the war isn’t fucking escalating like crazy
[+8] u/SadDevelopment3049: Bulls have been put out to pasture
[+8] u/Acceptable_Dirt69: Damn you Barron, little cawk suker
[+8] u/CigInside: So taco is just negotiating with some shawarma dealer?
[+8] u/No_Stand5622: No TACO Tuesday for bols
[+8] u/stocdave: Man what the fuck is this orange baboon doing
[+8] u/AwarenessOk5979: im doing so well in life bro im blowing up my contribution room on a tax free savings account straight up donating my biweekly minimum wage paychecks to wall street via getting it wrong on 0dtes over and over bro im straight up having a great time bro
[+8] u/ClaytonRook: What if all the pods in The Matrix were just day traders?
[+8] u/LumpyShock9656: MSFT is getting so ridiculously cheap
[+8] u/WSB-mods-are-: MSFT diamond dick solid support........at 0
[+8] u/iliveasimplelife: Holy Shittt Microslop, take me for a dinner or something before raw dogging me
[+8] u/neo-futurism: Oil drops ever so slight, SPY rebounds. Oil just boomed crazy, SPY doesn't care. WTH
[+8] u/StrangeInsanity: This will turn green because the market thinks " Trump lying is an indication that he is willing to accept a ceasefire."
Meanwhile, Israel and US keep bombing Iran to put more pressure only for them to get angrier and mine the shit out of the strait.
[+7] u/Samjabr: Germany's Federal Minister for Economic Affairs and Energy: "The phase out of nuclear was a huge mistake"
No shit...
[+7] u/Historical_Cover8133: Being right and not acting on it is worse than being wrong and losing money.
[+7] u/ikasey24: That pathetic bounce was eaten up, we’re in for a -2% day
[+7] u/Most-Crazy2353: Just close the market for the next 3 years
[+7] u/szokdogg: MSFT wants to be back to liberation day levels
[+7] u/Contango_withme: Market is in a down trend… takes time for a reversal to happen.
Don’t overthink it. Trend is your friend.
[+7] u/Careless_Sky9453: Whats with the foreplay at 650
[+7] u/AndItsThetaAgain: Okay. Time to send it.
#CRYING IN CASINO 🎰 NOW ACTIVATED
[+7] u/FarWay9137: Ah yes, I love when big swings happen outside of market hours, and the only market movers we have during market is waiting for a spray tan retard to push a tweet
[+7] u/gooneral_MC: green by lunch, as always.
[+7] u/Marketguy628: Believe it or not, who knows
[+7] u/BlitzComet95: Vintage 7am bull trap
[+7] u/patmccock86: They're trying the fake pump again, really cringe now
[+7] u/kal14144: Used to say never bet Polymarket because if you’re not the insider you’re the sucker. Well - welcome to the stock market lmao
[+7] u/Kind-Recognition4528: Never too late to buy puts
[+7] u/zurijer: Perma bols laughing at temporary bers is the dumbest thing
[+7] u/Far-Sherbert-8634: fuk teslaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
[+7] u/OkRecommendation1040: They never do this scammy pump shit when I have calls wtffffffffff
[+7] u/qx2: Omg, he lied really? For the 13th? No not my Donnie Dumps? What’s next oil $200?
[+7] u/xKronkx: Ah there’s a reminder why I stopped 0-1 DTE SPY plays. Nothing makes any sense anymore
[+7] u/Deadsea3132: MSFT is now a multi dollar company
[+7] u/Morocier: This MSFT movement makes me question reality. Am i missing something?
[+7] u/Hardbun: MSFT's chart puts a tear in my eye, that shit is beautiful how it's literally just perfectly vertical downwards
[+7] u/Ok-Analysis4121: Telling y'all just leave options alone. We're literally trying to beat computers. Every now and then you'll get lucky. But their sole purpose is to take our money bros
[+7] u/Saltysunbro: If MSFT hits $350 I don't see a reason why I shouldn't full port it.
[+7] u/basedpogchamp: The phillipines is fucked, 45 days of oil left
[+7] u/IDoLikeMyShishkebabs: About to switch to Linux out of spite because what the fuck Microsoft
[+7] u/burtburtburtcg: If bol could read they wouldn’t be bol
[+7] u/ArisZG: It turns out collapsing the global economy would affect stocks negatively. Who could have possibly foreseen this?
[+7] u/papichuloya: Wow whats going on with microsoft
[+7] u/FrostingOk2692: Congratulations on your promotion to long-term investor!
[+7] u/Acceptable_Dirt69: Azure garbage, windows garbage, copilot hot garbage
[+7] u/dylcollett: Bill gates a pedo fr
[+7] u/Glock7enteen: Huge dick and balls pattern on the 1 second chart
[+7] u/Ecodriverz: Theta wins for the 28474738th day in a row
[+6] u/ikasey24: And just like that, yesterday didn’t even happen
[+6] u/Ok-Barracuda39: Why even bother having any type of discourse on WSB if you hide your entire profile?
Own your shitposts!
[+6] u/Tay_Tay86: 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
#red alert: abandon ship. Spy is headed to 600
🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
[+6] u/elvanse70: looks like donnie’s attempts to manipulate the market and buy some time failed lmao.
surprised oil isn’t back to 99
[+6] u/shmito17: Software getting wrecked
[+6] u/fuck_zebster: Starting to think Iran might be the ones telling the truth .
[+6] u/Young-faithful: Ok, I also bought MSFT.. come join the club y’all
[+6] u/Oldschoolhype2: NVDA cant hold off the bears at the gates. Let us innnn. 🐻
[+6] u/AndItsThetaAgain: Rumors of private credit being stuffed into Target date funds
Because of a lack of exit liquidity
Check your retirement plans
>! If we’re having real conversations!<
[+6] u/Best_Sherbert_9481: Why can’t I ever just have a profitable day
[+6] u/Ok_Customer900: 10% down on my MSFT port since I bought, I really wish I didn't look at it today
[+6] u/Bignutly: Wait I thought 🥭 was gonna fix all of this! You mean he lied?!?!
[+6] u/Dude_HaHa: # Enough bullshit, let's just breach 650 and take this fake manipulated market down to the very depths of hell.
[+6] u/ten7four: Just a casual 1.33 trillion haircut off MSFT over the last 5 months, nothing to see here
[+6] u/Ecodriverz: Can’t wait for this to teleport for no reason in 30 seconds
[+6] u/Hardbun: MSFT might as well file for chapter 11 at this point, just fist it into us already
[+6] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: We did just kindve ignore the whole US being insolvent thing
[+6] u/Ecodriverz: Absolutely zero reason spy should be above 650 right now
[+6] u/Awkward_Ad_5102: We need Afroman to create a diss track about the stock market. It’s being a little bitch
[+6] u/ZealousidealSector19: If MSFT hits $360 I'm full porting shares and deleting app
[+6] u/Shurlak: Bought MSFT today and already down 1%, damn this stock sucks
[+6] u/jerm2z: The comeback on MSFT is gonna be so epic whenever that happens, maybe in a few months
[+6] u/Matt6453: Again, did GOOG kill a baby seal or something?
[+6] u/Kickboy21: I’m slowly realizing that sam altman is a piece of shit human
[+6] u/Godzirraaaaaaaa: Microsoft should start making missiles idk. Azure ain’t it.
[+6] u/Solid-Season9984: #Golden age of America!!!
[+6] u/Metacog_Drivel: ONDS, just go to $15 bruh. You know you want to. While you're there, just go straight to $20. Thxs.
[+6] u/shortitforever: Congrats bulls, you kept 650. For now.
[+6] u/Ecodriverz: Spy will be back at opening price in 20min
[+6] u/Zeppu: Holding NKE shares for 5 years would now give you -60% 🤑
[+6] u/lilordeo: Oh you filthy coping bulls
[+6] u/Intelligent-Claim193: No like seriously wtf are we doing here
[+6] u/PinealTone: Msft is probably dropping out of the Mag 7 at this rate
[+6] u/vanceraa: MU should’ve posted dogshit earnings with negative P/E then it’d be 500 rn 😔
[+6] u/Les7X: Even here in europe media is starting to feel a bit suspicious about mr tangerine's tacos. "A suspicious movement of about 582m on oil, two minutes before the tweet".
Who would have fucking thought...
[+6] u/puffinnbluffin: Still green ytd but watching gains evaporate daily, about to capitulate
[+6] u/WickedTwista: Yesterday was pure manipulation so that his family and buddies who are already filthy rich could get even more rich
[+6] u/AMCorBUST2021: How long before we all just eating cans of Spam in bunkers
[+5] u/Three_of_a_kind3515: Raincoat for that soldier..
[+5] u/Specialist_Spite5930: Orange man waking up
[+5] u/iliveasimplelife: RIP to whoever bought on yesterdays pump 💀
[+5] u/auroraavm: My coworker is schizo-obese & ever since layoffs, I've been in close quarters with this insane whale. She used to be the disgusting nutjob in the corner that nobody really talked to.
[+5] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: First move is always fake
[+5] u/FrancisBitter: Bonds above 5% again, I’ll bet he’s going to do something drastic today.
[+5] u/puffinnbluffin: Msft can gargle my fucking balls.
[+5] u/PositiveEdge4361: Is this the fabled 2% down day
[+5] u/AwarenessOk5979: dont paperhand those puts i think we break under 650 before lunch
[+5] u/creeoer: Not even saying that they will de-shittify Windows is saving Microslop
[+5] u/Intelligent-Claim193: Welp my puts got liquidated wooo
[+5] u/somewhere_cool: XLE and OXY screaming to all time highs
Oil futures falling
The most blatant manipulation you'll ever see. If oil was down for real those equities would be free falling
[+5] u/szokdogg: Who woulda thought, back in October, that the Mag7 would be renamed to Bag7 just a short 6 months later.
[+5] u/Agile-Character-4086: My spy calls was in profit now it’s worthless wtf
[+5] u/spyputs1: Tango fatigue is real
[+5] u/tripstermcgee808: Every time I look at my MSFT position I wanna fuckin scream
[+5] u/Illustrious-Low4128: +4300 on puts. Another good morning my delightful little regards
[+5] u/Metacog_Drivel: Dip and rip? Haven't had one of those in a while.
[+5] u/Candid_Consequence94: MSFT can go to 340 and stil be overpriced lol
[+5] u/Wowmuchrya: Game theory says he attacks over the weekend, loses, black swan -10%
Gl bol
[+5] u/unarmed_fish: Blackjack gives better returns than the market this year…
[+5] u/JernauG: I’m tired Mr president
[+5] u/peterpeer9: Never forget what they stole from us
[+5] u/MarginCuck: Microsoft bulls lmao
[+5] u/Cool-Run-245: What’s with Microsoft ??
[+5] u/Iclubbabysealclubber: Incoming trump truth "War who needs war - buy stocks! Great ECONMY"
[+5] u/IXI_Bman: All moves AH save the fun for intraday jfc.
[+5] u/Piano_Professional: Come on SPY let’s dump let’s do it 🫶
[+5] u/breaker_bad: Cupping balls formation showing on $URMOM
[+5] u/HunterSwifty05: SPY needs to trickle down
[+5] u/neo-futurism: Its rigged. I regret playing fair, yet again
[+5] u/ConsiderationKey1658: its the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine
[+5] u/TheLelouchLamperouge: Who else feels compelled to go extremely long on gold
[+5] u/Technicaltrades404: Bols now community members
[+5] u/wafflepiezz: Holy fuck $MU getting fucked in the ass
[+5] u/Ok-Barracuda39: Impress me: send it to $625. You won't. No balls.
[+5] u/Affectionate-Fault46: Another day, more bullshit
[+5] u/Swiftnice: I can't believe people are still buying TSLA. Does Elon have to overdose on a livestream before people will sell
[+5] u/kit4712: The current price of MSFT is really tempting. I feel like the current level is very similar to Meta being at 490s. But again I’m a bag holder from 453.
[+5] u/JellyfishLarge3794: Software as service companies are drilling
MSFT, Adobe. Salesforce
[+5] u/Liquidsnake959: I’m so fkn depressed with this market. Down huge everyday. Losing since November. 😭
[+5] u/T0th3M00NW3G0: Been buying this dip on healthcare and software for months now. I’m tired boss.
[+5] u/csr8765: If you’re still thinking MSFT is going to go up anytime soon, it’s probably best you take a break from this whole trading thing and spend some time learning how to read a chart
[+5] u/moneygon_: got the opening bell yahoo notification that said "Stocks retreated at the open" but i read it as "Stocks retarded at the open" :(
[+5] u/moneygon_: hate to be a conspiracy theorist but does anyone else feel like they gonna pull an attack on american soil just to bank on the drop after pumping it up on claims of war over
[+5] u/Stunning-Dig-8916: All that money you earned from calls and puts are gonna be worth nothing once this recession hits.
[+5] u/highlanderquestion90: Is the plunge protection team really a group of oompa loompas in plumber uniforms on standby
[+5] u/justarandumthrowaway: why have to worry about whether we’ll have stagflation when we can guarantee it
[+5] u/The_BakedCrusader: Weak ass low volume pump. Not trusting this for a second.
[+5] u/WildConsideration376: SPY $640 PUT EXPIRY FRIDAY
OPEN INTEREST 127,000
[+5] u/Burtonwurton: The only thing I can count on MSFT for is giving me dividends. What a fucking mistake it was to drop 150k in stocks after last earnings. My calls that expire in April are pretty much dead.
[+5] u/1foxyboi: RIP Space Stocks 2025 - 2026
[+5] u/dabblesest: Market green, UNH red.
Market red, UNH green.
UNH is officially a volatility play! Hedge your shit guys.
[+5] u/Electronic-Advisor72: How many days till marines land?
[+25] u/Valkorion335786: 🚨 **BREAKING NEWS** 🚨
**AIRPORT ICE AGENTS BEAT AND DEPORT 3.5 OZ. BOTTLE OF WATER**
With TSA staffing crippled by a government shutdown, ICE agents newly assigned to airport security reportedly "processed" a dangerous 3.5 oz. bottle of water Monday, beating it on sight before initiating immediate deportation proceedings.
The bottle, which exceeded the legal liquid limit by a suspicious 0.1 oz., was flagged as "noncompliant" and “refusing to assimilate into a quart-sized bag."
More to follow.
[+18] u/LarsTarkas: 🥭 going to tweet out a sheet of paper with "peace deal" written in sharpie and the markets will pump
[+17] u/McKoijion: Pakistan says they're willing to hosts talks (not that Iran has agreed to participate). Market drops
https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/pakistans-prime-minister-says-country-133243606.html
2 hours later, Trump posts a screenshot of it. Market rises.
https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump
Americans are the dumbest people on the planet. China deserves the crown at this point.
[+17] u/Unhappy-Ad-2609: 1: Buy puts Friday. 2: U.S take Kharg island Saturday 3: Iran retaliate on energy infrastructure Sunday 4: You flex ur gain on Wsb Monday. Enjoy 🐻
[+15] u/Mighty-HeaIthy: # **BREAKING NEWS: IRAN SAILOR SPOTTED GETTING SUCKED OFF ON TANKER IN STRAIT OF HOMOZ**
[+13] u/Rvin16: Tired of this old fart manipulating this shit
[+13] u/Guhbigly: Bought puts on a discount but it keeps discounting 😔
[+13] u/dMestra: Why don't they just dump the oil in the water and let it flow through the strait and we collect it after. We could let BP do it
[+12] u/Captain_Lameson: Lord, please let SPY dump to 645 by noon so I can get out of my 640 puts
[+12] u/Character_Pirate_152: I don't care about the tweets. Global economy is fucked from this shit. Prices will drop hard soon.
[+12] u/Reasonable_Roger: FUCK YOU THETA GANG I MADE MONEY TODAY
SUCK MY PEEN YOU SHIFTY BASTARDS
[+12] u/Rvin16: They need to investigate this old fart and associates for market fraud
[+12] u/Fernyfern7: Bulls get in there it's not a trap
[+11] u/MissMatriarch: 🥭 literally just tweeted a screenshot about Pakistan willing to help negotiations, and market thinks the war is over.
[+11] u/iceV: Oh my god, they finally broke s&p, 2$ moves in a second
[+11] u/natalie_merchant_fan: Another fake pump. Look at oil and bonds and the vix. Not confirming.
[+11] u/moorhound: Anyone that's buying these algo pumps based on "talks" with *anyone but Khamenei* doesn't understand the picture here.
No one knows who the fuck the "respected leader" Trump was talking to was, but if it wasn't Khamenei, that means the plan is Iranian civil war. And due to the nature of Iran's military structure, even if it's some military coup plan and they can pull a bunch of the military to their side, IRGC/Basij would still be on Khamenei's side, so it'd be an ugly civil war.
"Civil war supported by limited US boots on ground" has been the setup for every shithole quagmire we've ever been in. We just "sent a few guys in" to support ARVN, and then we were stuck there for 20 years. We just "sent a few guys in" to help the Karzai go ernment dislodge some dirt farmers, and we're stuck there for 20 years. This shit never ends up being a quick in-n-out.
And this time, the civil war would be in a country with hundreds of miles of coastline in the world's most critical oil shipping region, with a bunch of highly-refined uranium floating around somewhere. The Strait would be vulnerable the entire damn time; all it takes is some dude on a fishing boat with a shopping bag of hand grenades to make an attack.
If you're buying this shit, you might as well be waiting on your DOGE check.
[+11] u/lookingforajob2020: MSFT when SPY dumps: I'll dump twice as much as this fucker
MSFT when SPY is flat: guess what, I'm gonna dump anyways
MSFT when SPY pumps: lol fuck you guys i'm going down
[+11] u/bearhunter429: #SPY: green, most stocks: drilling LMAO🤌
[+11] u/Happy-Champion1661: SPY green and everything fucking drilling anyway wtf
[+11] u/tommyboy441: How the heck is spy green?
[+10] u/HaveTwoBananas: did algos really just pump off pakistan saying they support peace talks?
[+10] u/WarmCan3034: This market manipulation is honestly insane lol, corrupt af ngl
[+10] u/SmoothOperator423: “The talks are going well”- Trust me bro
[+10] u/Brief_Carpenter_7457: Such a distorted market. Even if the war ended today, the economic damage already done will take months to unwind.
[+10] u/ratfukabich: Holy fucking market manipulation lmao
[+10] u/SnooRegrets6428: USS Tripoli has arrived. Here we go!
[+9] u/mayorolivia: Trump retweeted Pakistan will host peace talks so market jumped
[+9] u/Phandomtrigger: Guys the market is total fair and free, just ignore the 536 million dollars of oil contracts that were traded before Trump yapped
[+9] u/Ninja_Cooter: Bought puts to hedge my shit and then instantly green dildos. You’re welcome Bols.
[+9] u/McKoijion: Lol, this is the easiest market to trade I've seen in years. Trump lies, markets go up, then they tank when people realize it was a blatant lie. Either you're in his Signal chat and get inside information immediately before he lies, or you just short everything he says afterwards.
[+9] u/AltMotive3: You are witnessing market manipulation in real time ❤️
[+9] u/bringkiteback: Fuck anyone who has a wedding out of their original state like I wanna spend 1-2k on flights and lodging to see you marry a broke electrician that lives at your dads house with you
[+9] u/TowelOld743: Step 1: Attack
Step 2: Initiate peace talks
Step 3: Attack again
Step 4: Repeat
[+9] u/horseisahorse: Both sides have come to an agreement that I am no longer allowed to pretend this isn't gambling
[+9] u/diefy7321: #bers definitely big mad lmfao
[+9] u/Crazy-Pickle-7412: Bulls took the gas station dick pills today
[+9] u/Phandomtrigger: The source for the pump is that they made it the fuck up
[+9] u/ThinCrusts: "lmao bers r fukt".
"lmao bolls r fukt".
You're both fucked
[+9] u/Candid_Payment_4094: Why the fuck is MSFT down
[+9] u/RaybanQA: This pump makes no sense
[+9] u/Thisispaartaaa: Yo, peoples...this is a BULL TRAP through and through....MIC DROP
[+9] u/Fit_Combination6988: Remember boys, if you don't brush your theta, you will get theta decay 😬🦷🪥
[+8] u/Loose_Development_24: They said "buy the dip of MSFT" when it was $410 and here I am, bagholding this shit
[+8] u/N3XUSBLAZ3R: My money just disappeared. My puts evaporated before my eyes
[+8] u/Upstairs-Wave-673: dude.. what are they doing
[+8] u/Mighty-HeaIthy: # **WAR OVER. PUMP IT**
[+8] u/42thefloor2011: More fucking lies to prop up this scam of a market. Just buying time until the marines get to Kharg Island on Friday and there's a massive crash to SPY600
[+8] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: iranian parliament speaker MB Ghalibaf on X just now:
We are aware of what is happening in the paper oil market, including the firms hired to influence oil futures. We also see the broader jawboning campaign.
But let’s see if they can turn that into "actual fuel" at the pump —or maybe even print gas molecules!
[+8] u/Logical-Clerk-1571: Let me guess, we went green because of the guy "familiar with the matter" ?
[+8] u/Loose_Development_24: Shout out to the guy who told me this irans shit was going to end in three or four days
[+8] u/WarmCan3034: The market obviously wants to go up lol
[+8] u/sonofalando: Just got off the phone with 🥭 turns out I’m the new leader of Iran. Just need to figure out how to get over there.
[+8] u/xironically23: Love how the second I bought a put this morning I should've known spy was going to pump 5$
[+8] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: And that’s officially every dollar of profit this year gone. Might as well just be an index cuck atleast I’ll make something, fuck
[+8] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: #hahahahahahahhahahahahaha im crying hahahahahahahahah
[+8] u/Trader0721: Gotta hand it to the bols…they refuse to let this thing die…
[+8] u/Val44x: EVEN IRAN IS GETTING IN ON THE SOCIAL MEDIA PUMP AND DUMPS LMAO
[+8] u/zestykite: Shorting this fake move
[+8] u/WarmCan3034: Btw u guys , msft is still dead with this pump Lmaoo
[+8] u/djln491: Was it that Pakistan tweet 😂
[+8] u/Brief_Carpenter_7457: Is anyone else having their worst trading year yet? lol
[+8] u/PocaMadre69: This has been so stupid omfg non stop rally for two days
Yesterday based off a lie
Today based off nothing
[+7] u/GoZukkYourself: IRAN OPEN TO U.S. OUTREACH, READY TO LISTEN
An Iranian source says Washington has initiated “outreach” and Tehran is willing to consider sustainable proposals to end the conflict.
While no formal negotiations have occurred, Iran is open to plans that safeguard its national interests, guarantee it won’t pursue nuclear weapons, allow peaceful nuclear use, and lift sanctions.
[+7] u/AlmightyCheesusCrust: Ber just got scammed
⢰⣶⠶⢶⣶⣶⡶⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⣶⡶⠶⢶⣶⣶⣶⣶ ⠘⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠄⠄⠄⠈⠉⠄⠄⣹⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⢿ ⠄⠤⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣤⡈⠙⠛⣿⣿⣿⣧⣀⠠⣤⣤⣴⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶ ⢠⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣭⣿⣿⣿⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⣿⣿⠉⠉⠉⢉⣉⡉⠉⠉⠙⠛⠛ ⢸⣿⡀⠄⠈⣹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠿⠿⢿⣿⣿⣷⣾⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠛⢩⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣿⣿⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⣠⣴⣿⣷⣭⣻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⠸⠿⣿⣿⣿⠋⣴⡟⠋⠈⠻⠿⠿⠛⠛⠛⠛⠛⠃⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⡁⠈⠉⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣤⡄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠈⠄⠈⠻⠿⠛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣠⣄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⡀⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⠉⠁⠄⠄⠄⠄⠐⠒⠒⠄⠄⠄⠄⠉⢸⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⢿⣦⣄⣠⣄⠛⠟⠃⣀⣀⡀⠄⠄⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⣀⡀⢀⣰⣦⣼⣿⣿⡿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⠄⢰⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⢛⣥⣾⣟⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠈⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⠿⣧⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
[+7] u/Sea-Refrigerator7919: There’s a bol who bought at 656 and a ber who bought at 650 let’s see who’s more retarded
[+7] u/Czyzzle: It's almost like Iran called Trump a liar
[+7] u/JugoShvili: Dafuq happened to GOOG is Iran blocking the internet
[+7] u/TowelOld743: War will be over in 5-6 weeks
Because we'll win right?
...
[+7] u/Whiterhino77: Why tf are we pumping on Pakistan saying they support peace
[+7] u/GoZukkYourself: Iran is open to a reach around
🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀
[+7] u/Country_Gravy420: You dipshits really don't think we see 7000 by Friday?
Fucking morons
[+7] u/McKoijion: > Rothschild bank was searched in Paris on Friday as part of the Epstein investigation: AFP
Lol
[+7] u/ThatGuyDan123: You know youre allowed to just not open any positions and take a break for a while lol
[+7] u/awetfartruinedmylife: MSFT: "You guys were crashing because of the war?"
[+7] u/buttaviaper: this is a nice little pump spy, but I need you to rally 10% in a day to get back everything I lost during this war
[+7] u/bemeandnotyou: **Read in🥭voice**" I see a lot of bears, some of them are otters, what are otters? I once powerbottomed, no one powerbottoms better then me, ok.
[+7] u/Logical-Clerk-1571: chef's specials today: berfuk meat marinated with non-existent negotiatons, and bolfuk stew sauced with random taco posts
[+7] u/doernotspeaker: I'm happy SPY is green. I bet my MSFT and CRM port is going great. Checking now...
[+7] u/lookingforajob2020: what the fuck is wrong with the market
[+7] u/CanIMarginThat: insane amount of corruption happening in front our very eyes. in us stock market nonetheless
[+7] u/Graymyst: FTSE100 as officially announced it will acquire SPY at 655.00 per share.
[+7] u/the_mind_goblin1: "SPY RECOVERING" "DUMP MICROSOFT RIGHT THE FUCK NOW"
[+7] u/Comprehensive-Eye547: So everybody buying calls right now doesn’t think it’s gonna rug before close
[+7] u/SaaSGrass: Ber expecting predictable pump and dump, but it isn’t happening today
[+7] u/Largeshmarge: Going back to sports gambling fuck stock market
[+7] u/rand_walking_charts: Shit. Baron still has calls 😂
[+7] u/Logical-Clerk-1571: one day bol fuk, other day ber fuk, at the end we all fuk
[+7] u/Mighty-HeaIthy: I’m a proud Helen Keller denier
[+7] u/Voltthrower69: What is the catalyst for this pump? Anyone know?
[+7] u/Dependent-Entrance56: Salty bers downvoting all the comments again, no crying in the casino
[+7] u/soup4br3kfast: Love the optimism boys but - bond yeild reaching 5% and massive troop deployement imminent is the writing on the wall. Get out while you can
[+6] u/Prudent_Concern_1511: Did 🥭 family group chat hear something?
[+6] u/-IQ200: Lmao the market is TWEAKING today.
[+6] u/zeren1ty: Oil didn’t even flinch to that recent TACO
Bols are in trouble
[+6] u/Bagelfried: It was never about draining the swap, but rather the swamps we made along the way
[+6] u/hey-coffee-eyes: Only the dead have seen the end of war. Except for 🥭, who sees it every five minutes.
[+6] u/Far-Requirement9180: It just can’t be this predictable wtf lol
[+6] u/vee1rot8: Totally healthy market
/s
[+6] u/Charming_Raccoon4361: spy moves like a penny stock
[+6] u/saw-it: Never want to hear about how smart people in wall street are ever again
[+6] u/yushey__: Spy green and everything i own drenched in blood
[+6] u/KaotikRush0198: Holy fuck, we're pamping
[+6] u/itsnotshade: Bear case is war continues and ravages the economy both globally and eventually nationally.
Bull case is new peace deal rumor just dropped.
It’s tariffs all over again.
[+6] u/Mighty-HeaIthy: They call it a soup kitchen
[+6] u/Syllabub_Visual: Just send it down to 640. Onlyfans founder died, war in Iran, every reason for it to dump…
[+6] u/unique_ptr: We should lock all of the institutional investors into a literal sealed chamber to do their trading and only give them news reports once every quarter.
[+6] u/DuAbUiSai: can we just delist Msoft. Just looking at it makes me sick.
[+6] u/Sea-Refrigerator7919: Yall going to fall for this bull trap smh
[+6] u/Free-Championship828: the only investment rationale is hoping trump tweets again. Spy down 4% ytd and oil futures up 40% with Israel bombing Iran how much money is really left on the table?
[+6] u/Rrrandomalias: Is this pumping because Pakistan said they’d be willing to host talks?! Lmao
[+6] u/dMestra: Yeah trading is easy, just taco the taco and sometimes taco that taco on top of that taco
[+6] u/spumpadiznik: Crime in the market beats timing the market
[+6] u/MagJack: almost bought calls at open, now i feel dumb enough to think puts might have a chance
[+5] u/Few-Equivalent8261: It's such a retarded thing to do at, especially at high speeds
[+5] u/Randomname1157: Calls on Iran. They're charging $2 million per ship to go through the strait
[+5] u/No_Bookkeeper6275: Iran’s army says it has carried out drone attacks targeting infrastructure at Israel’s Ben Gurion Airport and in the Haifa area. War over.. LMAO
[+5] u/buttaviaper: I’m the best at buying the absolute top
[+5] u/Character_Pirate_152: 50k Army and Marines on the way to the middle east.
[+5] u/Vihurah: "ber season"
"bol season"
"ber season"
"bol season"
"ber season"
"bol season, fire! wait-"
[+5] u/Jag20022: 🥭 posts and we have a +1% day
[+5] u/CFBReform: This shit makes it feel like the worlds against you 😭
[+5] u/MoMeanMugs: I am up $1.34 for the day. I can see retirement in sight!
[+5] u/Both-Improvement8645: That guy may be going balls deep in your niece
[+5] u/country-mac4: Being a ber is a dangerous game
[+5] u/cryptopolymath: US20Y at 5% get your 🌮orders in
[+5] u/AvocadoPurees: Getting thetaed and both side claiming the advantage, we aren't so different from the fruitman
[+5] u/nolanjp: Msft at the same levels it was in 2023 LOL
[+5] u/GuyFaulks77: Spy heading towards green. Bottom is in for the day!
[+5] u/diefy7321: Bers moving the goalposts again lmfaooooo
[+5] u/LarsTarkas: We will get another "war over" speech to fill up the copium reserves
[+5] u/tombrady011235: Every gameshit investor is the personification of r/confidentlyincorrect
[+25] u/Spokenpoem: Idk why people think Isreal is going to let this war be over lol.
[+22] u/YeahPlayaaaaa: DJT: you have 48 hours!
Iran: 😴
DJT: aight you have a week
[+18] u/Zimoula: All i learned since this war is stocks and investments are a fake based on fake numbers that can be influenced by rich, and manipulation is only a crime if done by the average person
[+15] u/Fast-Steak-7730: I WILL NOT ENTER A POSITION
I WILL NOT ENTER A POSITION
I WILL NOT ENTER A POSITION
[+15] u/Peach_tree: The amount of reassurance that the private credit issues aren't everywhere on CNBC is starting to make me think that they are, in fact, everywhere.
[+15] u/softboiledjadepotato: I really should be doing something else besides staring at squiggly lines and refreshing this page..
[+13] u/Extension-Ad917: Kinda seems like the war is in fact not over
[+13] u/Settleforthep0p: "Tell WSB. I want them to know it was me."
- Khamenei
[+13] u/Ozqi: Did Iran bomb a MSFT datacenter? wtf.
[+12] u/hermeskino715: I'm stopping this slow bullshit. Buying calls
[+12] u/Scalpaholic: ICE deployed to airports to...take up space and collect a paycheck whileTSA peeps keep working for free.
[+12] u/Unique_Zucchini1041: As soon as I buy straight down as soon I bought puts straight up
[+12] u/Significant-Term6407: I’m losing all my respect for professional investors. How can these mispricings be this incredible
[+11] u/Extension-Ad917: Anyone feel like they've seen this slowly moving troops into the region whilst negotiating story before?
[+11] u/Maximum_Light409: when people worry about future they buy gold
when people worry about present they sell gold
lesson learned...
[+10] u/Eddyrancid: Yeah, I mean I guess why would markets start reflecting any sort of objective reality now
[+10] u/Leibnizinventedittoo: Get ready to short I’m about to buy 0dte calls
[+10] u/Fluffy-Discussion166: Thank you "Art of the deal" author
[+10] u/Manufactured_feces: The insiders are gonna be soo fucking rich. When the war ends, the SP is gonna have a 10+ % day. Please tell me when to buy the calls daddy Trump
[+10] u/bertacle: CASH GANG WHERE U AT
[+10] u/Double_Anybody: 🚨ATTENTION🚨 - I have went long, folks get your shorts in market is about to dump
[+9] u/betaforever: Approximately 2,200 Marines are currently aboard the USS Tripoli and USS New Orleans. This unit was diverted from Japan and is expected to enter the US Central Command (CENTCOM) area of responsibility this Friday, March 27.
[+9] u/Maximum_Light409: ok.. i think got more confident.. gonna buy now
\*instantly drop with no fucking reason\*
How that shit can read our minds??
[+9] u/_ThisDickAintFree_: They expect one of us in the wreckage, brother.
[+9] u/AMX_revue: get ready to learn Chinese
[+9] u/Defiant-Fee-7550: This the last time I ever listen to a financial Youtuber. Not pointing fingers here but portfolio is self-destructing (ELF, EL, META, CELH, CRM, ADBE) 😦🤌
[+9] u/carrollart: Remember the metaverse? 🫵😂🤣
[+9] u/Fit-Doubt4251: Don’t worry guys Jarvis set SPY to 556 today
[+9] u/whisperingeye99: Is $5 considered capital?
[+8] u/caliwillbemine: Interesting that equities believe the war is over but oil hasn’t budged.
[+8] u/sekak77: If you aggregate all the daily threads:
average Bear thesis uses “Colorful Lines and Graphs” for their reasoning.
average Bull thesis uses “America! F*k Yeah!! stonks go up!”
[+8] u/enc-nyc: So they're gonna install Turnpike booths on strait, got it
[+8] u/Dependent-Media-1857: i follow this trader that's like wrong 90% of the times. they just bought puts
[+8] u/Tyneuku: Do you need real ID for the tolls on the straight
[+8] u/Ok_Cry7572: US 82nd Airborne Division Commander ordered to deploy to the Middle East - Fox.
[+8] u/pekas13: The green candles are so little and the red candles are so big
[+8] u/xXFoxyGrandpaXx: You’re telling me copilot cost them almost $2T?
[+8] u/Crackbot420-69: Ngl I’m pretty retarded
[+8] u/cow_grass: The US has had a successful negotiation talk with a top Iranian offical named Bhen dover.
[+8] u/Frosty_Promise8050: Yeah, not selling my puts.
[+8] u/trumpdiego: ##BREAKING: US SAYS THEY ARE JUST SENDING 100K MORE TROOPS TO SURROUND THE COUNTRY OVER THE NEXT MONTH JUST IN CASE, THE WAR IS BASICALLY OVER YOU NEEDNT WORRY AND GAS WILL COME RIGHT BACK DOWN
[+8] u/FirstAccGotStolen: SPY casually hanging out at 0%, waiting for one retarded tweet to send it to 670 or 640.
[+8] u/Traditional_Page_75: If you look at the downward trend of the DOW sixth month, you’ll notice a few things. First, it’s clearly experiencing a steep decline. No doubt about it. Second, the selloff has these interesting little nubs. The nubs are brief rallies, followed by continued downward pressure. Like a skin tag on otherwise sheer(falling straight down) skin. Interestingly, each little nub is getting bigger, but the pitch of the freefall gets larger each time
[+8] u/TheoryInttro: Ugh, back to my regular frustration of watching Google die and Scamvana pump.
[+8] u/ebitdasga: wtf is even green today? My entire watch list is red
[+8] u/bonswell: Computer make everybody in this thread gay and extremely horny
[+7] u/inconsistentsavant: Don’t talk about Debra like that
[+7] u/lemuever17: The institution is doing damage control.
[+7] u/Typical-Ad-8381: Apparently SPY can stay irrational longer than I can stay liquid
[+7] u/Expert_Turn4697: I will actually eat my own shit if spy goes below 652 today. Ban me if I dont post a follow up in 24h
[+7] u/JakeSal10: 🥭 is peeeeedoooooooooo
[+7] u/Inevitable_Mirror_74: Judging from price action and oil prices, we can confirm MSFT is gonna go bankrupt at some point in Q4 2026 or Q1 2027. Banbet! MSFT 0 1y
[+7] u/YNeverWAlone: Bulls have giant double chins and pencil thin goatees.
[+7] u/Appropriate_Ice_7507: Msft is fucking me. I’m getting deepthroat by MU. GLD is whipping me with cats of 9 tails. I don’t know if I should be hard or not
[+7] u/Sufficient-Aide6805: Wait is there actually another fucking announcement at 130?
[+7] u/Haikoe: Im not re-entering until there is a -10% from here, or the war ends, this shit is wayyyy to wonky
[+7] u/dokutarodokutaro: Bro I am NOT good at this lol
[+7] u/Hipolinn: Why did I full port on MSFT calls at $400.... sad pepe
[+7] u/Detonate-Ralph: This market is such an obvious ticking bomb. Hold on to your puts bers
[+7] u/Maximum_Light409: My life is stagnated. The girl I wanted rejected me, my job sucks, and every time I hit the buy button, the price plummets off a cliff immediately
[+6] u/LordJamPunt: Oh look, the market was down and choppy at open before it finally found a direction, who could have anticipated this?! Time to start pouting about market manipulation and convince myself everyone is gambling like me.
[+6] u/FellowManOnNightMode: It times like these that remind me that our government is in fact not real
[+6] u/Metal-Water: Damn whoever bought 0dte SPY calls before this pump I salute you
[+6] u/dybalapogba21: Not to cheer on doom, but how has SPY not continued tanking?
[+6] u/PvsNP_ZA: Okay so there's a little less oil going around. Why does that cause MSFT and GOOG to plummet? People are still Microsoft Excel-ing and Googling big tiddy goth gfs.
[+6] u/lamechud: holding my $RKLB options until "we like the stock" gets a hold of them
[+6] u/Electrical-Prize5445: What the fuck are these candles!
[+6] u/GenesGeniesJeans: This feels like a last effort by doves on all sides to bring the war to a close before the next escalation phase. Dovish advisors leaking to the press. Marines and airborne buildup. Increase in tanker and transport traffic.
[+6] u/PROMlSED: All my ads are either 2x/3x ETFs, Rolex watches, or boat shopping. Idk who they are selling my data to, but they should check my brokerage account first
[+6] u/zephyrs85: I see... I see red people
[+6] u/Frosty_Promise8050: A lot of very rich people who were on Epstein island is what I see.
[+6] u/shindiggaa: Turns out I should have sold. Greed is a helluva drug.
[+6] u/Sensitive_Guest_5995: Huh. Paper traded options to figure it out last week. All my shit is green. MSFT Mar 27 392.5/382.5 up bigly. Why is my real account red. Fuck you.
[+5] u/Any_Life_6178: 🌈🐻Timberrrrrrrrrrrr🌈🐻
[+5] u/Beautiful-Cod-3414: Drill drill baby drill
[+5] u/TransportationKey455: Maybe I shouldn't have put 100% of my money into RKLB, well nothing ever happens
[+5] u/Onyxpropaganda: mango tweets no longer matter
[+5] u/dybalapogba21: Saudi Arabia about to join the war and people are buying 😭😭
[+5] u/Jvil101: I gotta take Microsoft at some point right? This is getting crazy
[+5] u/samvarr: Did Trump announce world peace or something lmfao
https://preview.redd.it/08hvoh6ab0rg1.png?width=1642&format=png&auto=webp&s=9c419ed0bae92617f7f3998f2c5b4738a4b0d584
[+5] u/Ok-Bid-5378: why do i always underleverage on green days and overleverage on red days fml
[+5] u/thefxll: believe it or not calls (on the vix)
[+5] u/Irishbros1991: The oil barons want to join the war on Iran no way it stops now
[+5] u/Cav829: MSFT is now at a sub 20 forward P/E.
[+5] u/LongroddMcHugendong: Y’all member when sleepy joe was ruining the country and we were all getting rich off flying car, quantum, space, and nuclear stonks
[+5] u/ExodusPHX: I hate this timeline
[+16] u/Open_Waltz6902: Operation epic failure
[+15] u/PropheticMurmurs: Sad, fake, micropenis pump.
Here comes the big, fat, monstercock red dildo.
[+15] u/VellyJanta: We will hold an island 16 miles off the coast of Iran with 5000 marines easily, war over by next week tops. Just like Vietnam and Iraq, one quick surgical strike.
[+14] u/Careful-Towel3154: some advisor told 🥭: Sir, we can achieve control over the Island we did this successfully in Battlefield 3
🥭: Let's do it
[+13] u/spoodermanishere_555: How has Trump not been investigated for insider trading
[+12] u/slimeystevebob: Peace talks between ber and bul going well
[+12] u/ConstantAd1: >U.S. PREPARES FOR POSSIBLE GROUND OPERATION IN IRAN AS MAJOR GENERAL BRANDON TETMEIER AND 82ND AIRBORNE ORDERED TO MIDDLE EAST PENTAGON WEIGHS OPTIONS INCLUDING SECURING THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ
[+11] u/krieger123456: I just lost my life savings on puts. 500 bucks. I'm bad at saving.
[+11] u/CaskJeeves: Markets would be better off if a literal 🥭 was in charge
[+11] u/Waiting4Reccession: Why dont they send Israel on the ground instead of Americans.
I think we setting up for another Friday dump
[+11] u/slimeystevebob: From a strategic point of view, Iran has zero reason to end this quickly.
[+11] u/Initial_Ad_9250: I am probably an idiot but I am gonna buy 0dte calls for 🥭 speaking. It's Tuesday, I am sorry to my future self
[+10] u/GetBigOrDieTrying5: Hey look Reuters published an article about massive oil contracts selling
[+10] u/kalakesri: 🥭 went quickly from we won't talk with anyone until total surrender to glazing Pakistan for mediation lmao
[+10] u/PeeOnDusk: It’s all Iran this and Israel that
Well Iran out of money on 0dte and the struggle Israel
[+10] u/StraitOfHummus: The Iraq war was supposed to cost 40 billion, but ballooned to 8T+. If we use this assumption, this war is going to cost 40T. And this is all debt we are financing this war with.
Raise taxes? Nah, push it down the line to our grandchildren who will be guaranteed to have a financial crisis in addition to mass migration problems with global warming and such. Super exciting future for us all!
[+10] u/Weak_Ostrich459: Having a difficult time believing the market is not cooked rn
[+10] u/flamingosforsale123: We are only doing wars on the weekends now
[+10] u/Candid_Analyst_9040: 🥭 “there will be so much peace” while discussing wiping a country off the map. Lololol
[+9] u/Pristine_Afternoon96: market would be ripping if we just put a traffic cone in the white house
[+9] u/PlayerPey: i can’t wait for it to dump after i sell my puts
[+9] u/OPINION_IS_UNPOPULAR: The good news: I ride a bike to work every day and get to be extra insufferable to my colleagues at work
The bad news: One of my colleagues has oil calls and he's gonna be rubbing it in
[+9] u/Humble_Code_6501: MSFT almost at 20PE and TSLA cant drop below 350PE
this market is a fuckin joke
[+9] u/ChesterfieldK: where can we watch this clownbaby talk
[+9] u/skin_flute_player: Everything changed when the oil nation attacked.
[+9] u/NomSaneMan: Everyone always asks why red futes, but none asks how red futes
[+9] u/drbigtoe: Whoever posted about the hawaii flood impacting DOLE last week, I have some DOLE 12.5 puts worth 0.01c to sell you
[+8] u/Dulmut: idk why the bulls are partying like spy is at ath again. Its 2026, shit can turn around in less than a minute.
[+8] u/Ok-Thought-9960: Imagine thinking you could lick a boot and get these crazy ass jobs and just coast through an admin with a wild resume..... butttttttt then ur boss fucks everything up and looks to you to help.
What a fucking dumpster fire this is turning out to be
[+8] u/SnoStrm: LET ME OUT (for breakeven please)
[+8] u/Rock_or_Rol: Saudi Arabia intercepted a drone but won’t provide details on its origin or intended target
[+8] u/HeadMasterpiece9372: Spy 660 eod and ur conservative father will tell you, "see its all for a reason"
[+8] u/bluen: I never knew Iran was so big
I predict a Vietnam style war
[+8] u/Weak_Ostrich459: Im betting hes gonna say something along the lines of "we have hit them harder than ever before"
[+8] u/Ok_Frosting_7376: Expect one "positive" post daily from mango until friday to keep the market from collapsing. He will attempt some sort of ground troops on the weekend, using that as leverage to end the war. Monday will be wild either way.
[+8] u/OkResponsibility2470: They’re sending thousands of troops but nothings going to happen guys
[+8] u/DragonflyOrdinary848: Is it true that trump is speaking today at 130?
[+7] u/Normal_Tap3021: The only day i buy puts, SPY decides to hold itself using its hope and dreams
[+7] u/JustDoc: What is about to happen should surprise absolutely nobody.
[+7] u/StraitOfHummus: * Private funds being gated
* Oil prices skyrocketing
* Countries shutting down schools due to lack of LNG / petro
* Somehow gold is not going up, being the usual safe haven during times like this
* Bond market not happy
* Upcoming Fed chair doesn't want to raise rates
* Cooked numbers coming from US government continually being revised at levels never seen before
Bullish.
[+7] u/PropheticMurmurs: I don't think any possible combination of words Dumbfuck can string together could ever be bullish.
[+7] u/infamouskurou: Don't worry guys, I am monitoring the situation
[+7] u/Heavenisaplace176: Dear Arab friends!
Please let in an oil ship 🚢 without firing at it.
My portfolio needs help!
So sorry we blew up your country!
Please have some peace talks asap
[+7] u/NotMe357: ""Israel said it planned to expand the territory it controls in Lebanon, suggesting it might remain there beyond the fighting," per NYT"
[+7] u/Iknowyougotsole: I learn so much from all the oil, energy and geopolitical experts here ❤️
[+7] u/Normal_Tap3021: crash this bitch down to 640. I don't care how many 401k burns, how many people margin guy calls
[+7] u/Euphoric_Present8838: Does anyone remember when options were cheaper? Or am I just poor now?
[+7] u/PropheticMurmurs: Oh yeah, this is solid and stable price action indicative of a healthy market...
[+7] u/saduglystoopid: getting real hard to not cry in this casino
[+7] u/Ok-Prior-9953: War could end today but the 3.5 trillion private credit market pit of death is still staring back at us
[+7] u/bigmeatbag: We got some pumpy, we got some dumpy, all thanks to Trumpy.
[+7] u/mxcstar: SELL FIRST AND ASK QUESTIONS LATER!
[+7] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: How about little fake pump so I can get my puts cheaper tor tomorrow
[+6] u/Acrobatic-Lead-3700: Tired of winning yet ?
[+6] u/PropheticMurmurs: Yeah those massive downward swings are giant whales selling everything.
I'm fucking out.
[+6] u/br0botic: Software is just gonna keep dumping every time there is some new ChatGPT or Claude update until it hits zero lol
[+6] u/vaksninus: The bag 7 struggling
[+6] u/Extension-Change-441: you 15min chart people think you're so sophisticated huh
[+6] u/Moepenmoes: Shit market, fuck this day
[+6] u/FunInteraction9796: spy at 635 would heal me
[+6] u/ThoseGelInsertThings: I know you are reading this, Barron.
Please do *something*...
[+5] u/PretendAgency2702: 2nd dump incoming soon
[+5] u/GreedyCommie: just bought $30k worth of MSFT shares my new position
[+5] u/IlinistRainbow6: what happened to microslop
[+28] u/ThisKarmaLimitSucks: "The leaders are gone, no one knows who to talk to. But we're talking to the right people."
This shit is straight out of Dr. Strangelove.
[+27] u/spudbro00: WALL STREET JOURNAL - U.S. offers Microsoft shares to Iran as compensation for war damages, Iran response "We'd rather be nuked"
[+23] u/yehwotmate: If you don’t think marines assault Kharg 30 mins after close Friday you haven’t been paying attention
[+20] u/Mortgage5388: Finally he confessed all this is for Israel
[+19] u/McClintockC: One Flew Over the Mango's Nest
[+19] u/Bazzer82: If Iran had flown over the US, blown up the White House, destroyed infrastructure and unalived your leader and others close to him, would the US be in a rush to make a nice deal and forget anything ever happened, especially if the US had the means to significantly harm Iran and their political friends' countries by shutting off energy supply?
[+16] u/ShadyPotatoTrader: He has no credibility, why would anybody believe anything he says
[+15] u/YOLOdollhair: Donald "I shouldn't say this, but I'll say it anyway" Trump
[+14] u/2muchnet42day: Sleepy would be napping as spy rips over 800
[+13] u/billyd1984texas: Why dont we just stop giving Isreal money?
[+13] u/burnerAccountDuh24: This mf is an actual joke haha
[+13] u/Technical-Emu-32: Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick
[+12] u/sandygws: MU $500
SNDK $800
GOOGL $400
NVDA $200
MSFT $500
Then I woke up. 🤣
[+12] u/Jarlaxle_rigged_it: Most manipulated market in history. thanks DJT
[+12] u/RFKsBrainwormm: His parents actually looked at their baby and said Markwayne
[+12] u/would-rather-read: does he not know that they did hit that plant last night? does he even know what’s happening?
[+12] u/LordWop: This is a literal retard wow
[+12] u/SeaweedLeft9746: That stupid peice of shit is really gonna put boots on the ground
[+12] u/upfuppet: [https://theonion.com/markets-surge-after-trump-claims-he-had-sex-with-an-angel/](https://theonion.com/markets-surge-after-trump-claims-he-had-sex-with-an-angel/)
[+12] u/fathersucrose: PLEASE SIR I THINK WE HAE HAD ENOUGH WINNING
[+12] u/RFKsBrainwormm: Transgender for everybody, in this economy?
[+12] u/Templar_Swamp_Stake: I was in the exotic land of Canada and the news would show clips of him talking for like 30 seconds uninterrupted. Realized that you rarely see more than a 3,4 second clip on the news in the US. This may contribute to the fact that 40% of the country still hasn’t figured out he’s lost his goddamned mind.
[+11] u/No_Cod972: Is it possible to get through one God damned day without getting FUCKED by all sides?!!?
[+11] u/soscribbly: Imagine buying bitcoin in summer 2021 and simply losing to inflation 🥴🫵🤭
[+11] u/Soft_Ladder_7894: why does mongo say same shats over and over
[+11] u/Poptart_Salad: How is "discussing the possibility of holding high level peace talks" even a headline?
[+11] u/row_guy: Please don't close the stait of Hormuz bro seriously bro please bro come on
[+11] u/dljmonkeyboiz: As a member of the human race … wtf are we all doing?
[+11] u/dljmonkeyboiz: There’s a 10x bagger SPY put happening during the last 30mins
[+11] u/Bazzer82: "This is regime change". Comedy gold.
[+11] u/Responsible-Rip8793: ***SO THEY ARE PUTTING TROOPS ON THE GROUND?!! DUDE WTF. WHY DOES THIS MARKET KEEP PLAYING ALONG WITH HIS LIES??!!***
[+10] u/enlightenedfarmboy: Transgender for everybody! You get a transgender, you get a transgender, you all get transgenders!
[+10] u/Level_Counter3062: I just don't really see the Iranians "making a deal" that makes 🥭 look good and markets rocket. But I guess yesterday proved it doesn't need to be true
[+10] u/RFKsBrainwormm: This guy seems like he knows what he’s doing
[+10] u/marawki: Spy green again. What did mango say this time to inspire so much confidence with market makers?
[+10] u/tastyfreeeze69: He said the words why no pump
[+10] u/WonUpH: World championship of trust me bro
[+10] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: jon stewart should be the next presiden!
[+10] u/Bloomeyer: so everyone reporting boots on the ground and this pumps. ok?
[+9] u/No-Improvement3164: How does the market not crash when he speaks
[+9] u/lessoninprogress: So he’s lying again and the market is just like yeah absolutely
[+9] u/Ancient_Building_529: DO NOT TOUCH THIS SHIT YOU WILL GET BURNT
[+9] u/OptionsHuduga: All my hair turned white in the last 5 months. My pubes too.
[+9] u/Mast3rfinish25: KUWAIT PETROLEUM CEO: FULL PRODUCTION RESTORATION WOULD TAKE 3-4 MONTHS EVEN IF WAR ENDED TODAY
[+9] u/isolated-cat: oil is absolutely untradable with these bs algo moves
[+9] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Might open a political bar where it's just Aljazeera, Fox News, CNN, truth social and X feeds and you can live bet spy puts/calls
[+8] u/KarlLachsfeld: GOOG just bleeding out on the street.
[+8] u/ThouOne: Just one rally to $600 and I’ll take profit & switch to a ber
[+8] u/No_Cod972: I own nothing and I'm happy.
They were right.
[+8] u/DisgrunltedDan: Does he talk every single day now ?
[+8] u/Nakedputbuyer: MUTILIZATION OF OUR KIDS
[+8] u/MundaneExtension3195: I just noticed on the sidebar, that we can click on the link to make our bets if Gold will hit $5500 by June on a polymarket betting pool that has $634,000 in volume... this is the most retarded thing Ive ever seen, lol If you want to trade gold and you are doing so on polymarket, you are the retard on top of the retard pyramid!!!!!
[+8] u/AirportMaterial5917: Not me shitting at work so I save toilet paper at home
[+8] u/DOKTANO: Holy shit he’s going to call this regime change!!!!!! OMFG 😶🔫
[+8] u/NaluknengBalong_0918: TIL… Tehran is different than Iran 💃💃💃🤣
[+7] u/blumpkinspatch: Wow. Look at all these cheap stocks. We should be thanking the gods for these great deals on stocks we can buy with our unlimited trust funds
[+7] u/Full_Boysenberry_198: Congress are the real bers. Balls deep in hibernation.
[+7] u/Mortgage5388: War is over guys , dow 50k by the end of week
[+7] u/StandardDot5115: will spy close up or down?
find out on today's exciting episode of red-green casino
[+7] u/bruhhzilla: fckn biblical level hubris this guy has...
[+7] u/_rockthemike: Killer deals right now on GOOG, MU, NVDA. MSFT too but holy shit I’m not touching that
[+7] u/Loose_Stool_12: Your mother uses Copilot
[+7] u/Bong-Hits-For-Jesus: pentagon orders thousand more troops to middle east. the peace talks are going great [https://www.ynetnews.com/article/ktkyc8999](https://www.ynetnews.com/article/ktkyc8999)
its practically over
82nd airborne also heading to mideast
[https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2026-03-24/us-set-to-deploy-82nd-airborne-troops-to-mideast-journal-says](https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2026-03-24/us-set-to-deploy-82nd-airborne-troops-to-mideast-journal-says)
[+7] u/would-rather-read: taking all my gains and supporting democrats in the midterms this shit is crazy
[+7] u/theineffablebob: mission accomplished
[+7] u/Expensive-Big-8725: lol this shit is so scammy
[+6] u/ozz3121: Iran is willing to listen. 🥭 And team are going to request some insane requests like the entire nation of Iran concerts to Christianity. Iran will obviously not accept. War continues.
[+6] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: Wow, MSFT is STILL going down lol
[+6] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: So you guys weren’t really into yesterdays pump huh
[+5] u/ThisKarmaLimitSucks: Lots of people have trusted Trump in the last 80 years. Even when they know who he is, they still think that can use some kind of mutual self-interest to work with him.
He has fucked over every, single, one of them.
I don't think there is a single person who's ever walked away happy that they worked with Donald Trump. Maybe Jeff Epstein.
[+5] u/SuspiciousStable9649: $80k margin and +/- $100 for over an hour.
[+31] u/LarryStink: > The British royal navy is considering converting civilian ships into drone motherships to clear mines in the strait of Hormuz-Telegraph
Sounds like talks are going well.
[+22] u/Garbage-Disposal-938: Breaking: Trump Offers Ayatollah Inside Info About S&P's Next Big Move if He Provides Current GPS Coordinates
[+22] u/thelonewanderer333: Lol, we pump on "war over" news, but one of the front page stories on Reddit is "82nd airborne being sent to Iran".
[+21] u/Mysterious_Ad6637: JUST IN: 🇺🇸🇮🇷 🥭 says Iran gifted the US a "very big present worth a tremendous amount of money" related to oil and gas. Can’t wait for Iran to say it’s a lie
[+21] u/cynthiaxs: There’s not even a pump anymore trumps words are useless
[+19] u/ThrowRA-KB: Part of the deal is the the US is sending 3000 Troops to Iran so they can shake hands in person and agree to never fight again over the strait of her moose
[+17] u/Gajax: We shot ships down? They had flying ships?? Holy fuck.
[+17] u/Upset-Motor-2602: Israel will not allow an end to this war. They would much rather have a failed nation in Iran than a peaceful Iran. The markets will just shrug and move on.
[+16] u/imaginarytrades: Jesus it’s like listening to a random conversation in a nursing home
[+16] u/noaholic: Iran is loving this war, why would they want to end? They got the west by the balls
[+16] u/JMWTurnerAppreciator: This dude is literally just going to tweet or make a statement any time it looks like the market will dip below 650 huh
[+16] u/Fit-Guard-5063: When are people going to realize this capitalism thing is a scam
[+15] u/J_da_CPA: Who tf voted for this. We should be chillin at 800 rn
[+14] u/ebfeebfe: If the New York Stock Exchange doesn’t FULLY PUMP, WITHOUT THREAT, the SPY ETF, to 672 within 48 HOURS from this exact point in time, Theta Gang will hit and obliterate my various PERSONAL ACCOUNTS, STARTING WITH THE BIGGEST ONE FIRST! Thank you for your attention to this matter.
[+14] u/Pete26l96: Pete Hegseth: "We're just getting started"
Donny: "These guys are doing a great job, they're not interested in settlement"
BRUH
[+14] u/givemethestars000: Once the markets close Friday, the negotiations will all of a sudden be "insufficient". And the ground invasion will begin. War on the weekends. Peaceful trading on the weekdays
[+14] u/MrT_IDontFeelSoGood: Lmao just throwing him under the bus
[+14] u/Turtletwoshells: He’s gonna pipe that guys wife fasho
[+14] u/YouDontKnowDino: Troops on the ground, troops on the ground, looking like a fool with your troops on the ground
[+13] u/imaginarytrades: “I’m involved”
Yeah bro, that’s what’s scary
[+13] u/weewoowewoooo: Love how the market reflects the complete opposite of what’s going on in the real world lmfaoooo
[+13] u/killerbeeswaxkill: You can’t hold shit for longer than 5 minutes
[+13] u/tinydisaster: So the person at the SEC that would have investigated the insider trading and what Bessent is doing… she “resigned” on Friday.
If you aren’t on the signal chat, you are exit liquidity now.
[+13] u/Few_Egg3567: Whatever happened to the Epstein files
[+13] u/Yousoldmetohigh: Vix up, oil up, bonds up, spy flat/up. Something isnt being honest.
[+12] u/Christiano97: I’m honestly so happy I’ve stayed out of the market this long just to sell a 292.5 put on this fucking piece of shit Google lmao this market is absolutely pathetic
[+12] u/astrawberryandakiwi: I’m honestly surprised we aren’t hitting circuit breaker downs.
I’m 97% cash just hanging out on the sidelines
[+11] u/SnickersTheDog: I'm so happy we won, was getting nervous there for a minute
[+11] u/pixi88: Are they just gonna fucking yap until the market closes?
[+11] u/Agreeable-Spare9195: Woke up this morning took a look at the market, and said “I don’t want to touch this at all”. Might have been the best trade of my life.
[+11] u/_pout_: Wait for it ... waaaait for it ...
Nvm keep waiting
[+11] u/Q4shm0ney: Bro is the president and is supposed to tell us whats going on as he spends our tax dollars. Instead we get cryptic ass messages and argue over what it means
[+10] u/MrT_IDontFeelSoGood: 🥭: “I’m your father now”
[+10] u/SnickersTheDog: I'm converting to boglehead, ban me now
[+10] u/Yousoldmetohigh: I AINT SELLING (these puts).
[+10] u/whitepug: Its going to drop like my balls never did isnt it
[+10] u/Drassigehond: And again an 1 hour talk where he says exactly nothing
[+10] u/PalsRocksMyWorld: “We negotiate with bombs” oh fuck me kegsbreath is going to kill the whole world economy isn’t he?
[+9] u/AegonTheMeh: “Significant prize”
lol what a bullshiter
[+9] u/Leading-Future6691: gonna drop like a rock, isn’t it
[+9] u/Areisrising: Every time this idiot talks I lose fifty dollars
[+9] u/HatProfessional9540: What the hell is Jared Kushner doing there?
[+8] u/_Kenway: Reuters said they are moving the 82nd airborne. What kind of peace talks they are doing lmao.
SEC sleeping on market manipulation since 2008
[+8] u/masonk69: Keep fkn drilling Jesus Christ
[+8] u/Slightlybadpicks: Man fuck this AI. Spent an hour doing a project without signing in and now all progress is lost 🤬🤬🤬🤬
[+8] u/DealLead190: they came from Congo - from all over South America..
[+8] u/Moist_Chain_POL: Barack Husain Obama mentioned! 🤌🏼
[+7] u/Traditional-Cloud154: Trump is jester maxing
[+7] u/the_sound_of_a_cork: This market would fly if those regime dorks just said, "hey, nobody likes us, maybe we just give up"
[+7] u/Bigamungus: Imagine China takes Taiwan rn
[+7] u/Sweaty-Sherbet-6926: Is the gift Iran gave us higher oil prices?
[+7] u/TrollerCoasterWoo: Guys, the regime changed. We replaced the crazies with craziers. Mission accomplished
[+6] u/user112224783: What in the world is going on