▶ Full Post Text
[+157] u/OSRSkarma: What a beautiful week for a Megathread, some would say the finest Megathread.
I highly recommend NOT interacting with it.
If you know you know.
[+139] u/knoqd_: > *TRUMP THREATENS TO OBLITERATE ALL ELECTRICITY PLANTS IN IRAN
> *TRUMP ADDS THAT 'GREAT PROGRESS' MADE IN TALKS WITH IRAN
🤣
[+123] u/pussinbuuts: NO NEED TO 🌮 IF NO DEADLINE IS STATED
THE J IS FOR GENIUS
[+106] u/scottyjetpax: 🥭tweeting that if the strait isn’t immediately opened he’ll immediately do a bunch of war crimes but other than that peace talks are going well
[+104] u/RFKsBrainwormm: Feelin cute, may make a deal with Iran, may invade, idk haha
[+99] u/DanqueLeChay: 🥭: US in serious talks, New Iran is more reasonable, If talks fail, which they won’t, but if they do, which is unlikely, but if they do, which they won’t. We will obliterate fucking everything!
I’m paraphrasing, but only to make it a little more readable.
[+96] u/Locke_____Lamora: So that Iranian dude was right about the Monday market manipulation LMAO so obvious though
[+91] u/Fineous400: That’s a nice green market you have there. Be a shame if something happened to it.
[+85] u/Mediocre_Pangolin572: Forget Wallstreet bets I get my financial advice directly from the Iranian regime. This is not financial advice.
[+83] u/Damerman: I don't think trump has realized that the damage has already been done. Whatever happens, the supply chain disruption has triggered inflation and potentially a recession.
Tweeting isn't gonna fix this.
[+82] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: Great market if you are good at swing trading.
Problem is, this sub is not good at pretty much any trading.
[+77] u/aftherith: PLEASE REMAIN CONFUSED AND ALARMED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE
[+73] u/UnivalveX: TALKS ARE GOING WELL! BUT WE WILL BLOW THEM UP SOON
[+71] u/MadHat0815: Let's see if my Iranian Quant was right
[+61] u/Bigamungus: There was a dude in the weekend thread that said 🥭 would announce a deal or at least progress on a deal then immediately escalate and blame it on Iran tanking the peace talks/deal or something to that effect and I just want you to know I’m thinking about you
[+58] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: I was talking to my boomer old man this weekend. He gives me insight to the boomer mind.
Talking about Iran. He swears they're not a developed nation and that they're mostly "goat herders." I say. "No thats not true. Their rural farmers are prolly more like rural people in America, but their cities and citizens are very modern."
He goes on a tirade about how stupid my generation is. I love getting old fucks all riled up.
[+51] u/BFox1982: Imagine voting for Trump because he's anti war and pro market. 🥴
[+49] u/bearhunter429: #The whole economy and the whole country has to suffer because some assholes decided to do evil shit to kids on some island and now trying to cover it up by starting WW3 LMAO🤌
[+46] u/rotorylampshade: Market is up on what news? Hasn’t the situation degraded over the weekend?
[+45] u/TheMatinow: If I were Saudis, or UEA i would start to worrying that my ally might be retarded
[+43] u/Whoopziedaisy: Call me crazy but I don’t think the president the United States should be allowed to broadcast foreign policy updates 24/7 from personal social media
[+41] u/AirwickS: 💭 Did some research for us:
By weekday, average S&P 500 move over last 4 weeks:
- Monday: +0.76%
- Tuesday: -0.32%
- Wednesday: -0.03% basically flat
- Thursday: -1.02%
- Friday: -1.28%
[+41] u/MagJack: The dumbest person you know is getting told "you're absolutely right" by AI every single day.
[+40] u/Bcider: Futes green but oil is up. Therefore futes are fake and ghey.
[+40] u/dontslambro: IRANIAN MEDIA SAYS TRUMP IS AGAIN MAKING BASELESS CLAIMS ABOUT TALKS WITH TEHRAN
[+39] u/Excellent_Row8297: Futures green? ✅
Pre-Market green? ✅
Gold green? ✅
Oil green? ✅
VIX above 30 still? ✅
SOMETHING IS FAKE AND GHEY BUT I DON’T KNOW WHAT
[+39] u/GoogleKushforLunch: Trump fucked up idc what he say, everything is saying he fucked up
[+37] u/Independent-Tree-985: USO up 1.3%
SPY up 0.8%
One of these is lying to your face
[+36] u/NaturalFortune8397: GUYS DONT WORRY THIS WILL DEFINITELY HOLD
GO AHEAD AND LOAD CALLS 0DTE AT OPEN
NOTHING BAD COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN
[+34] u/erakis1: Scientists: “an asteroid is headed for the earth and 25% of all human life will be wiped out”
Dow: -250
🥭: “I’ve negotiated with the asteroid and it will change course.”
Dow: +1200
Scientists: “that’s literally impossible”
Dow: -150
Asteroid hits earth
Dow: -500
🥭: “I’ve been in negotiations with all of space-time to reverse the asteroid impact event.”
Dow: +2000
-markets in 2026
Edit: autocorrect
[+33] u/pussinbuuts: Heads-up: Pre-market so-called “news” or “Truth” is often just a setup for profit-taking. Basically, it’s a reverse indicator.
Do the opposite: If they pump it, short it. If they dump it, go long.
See something tomorrow? You know the drill.
-IRUN LISAN AL GAIB
[+33] u/TheMatinow: We can all learn from Dune that in energy war, the sand people will eventually destroy the evil empire.
[+33] u/jpric155: Strait still looks closed to me.
[+32] u/silverfutes: Sent my boss an email letting her know I would only negotiate with a new and more reasonable c-suite.
[+31] u/fateoftheg0dz: Mon: Fake pump
Tues: small pump
Weds: -1%
Thurs: -1%
Fri: -3%
[+31] u/ModeForJoe: # Bulls Today:
https://preview.redd.it/gu6dydzxb8sg1.jpeg?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=655fb85f1cd61a0d262b49acc2f212a27a335c59
[+30] u/Specialist_Fig9458: Thank god the oil supply shock is done! LMAO
[+29] u/Low-Win-6691: If TSLA keeps drilling like this it could become significantly overvalued
[+29] u/PalsRocksMyWorld: 🥭: We will literally destroy all of Iran’s infrastructure and steal their oil.
Markets: LET’S RIP TITS TO THE GREEN BABY
[+28] u/TheMatinow: "We will do war crimes like you have never seen before" - 🥭 2026
[+27] u/OkRecommendation1040: I literally saw a blonde girl my age delivering pizzas last night. We truly are in a recession
[+27] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: mr president just made a fucking terrorist threat
[+26] u/WombatShwambat: Every Monday tensions are easing and by Friday it’s the fucking rapture.
[+26] u/Hardbun: All of this was literally preventable btw
[+26] u/SSkilledJFK: Fuck all these fake ass Christian “manly men”
[+25] u/pussinbuuts: IRUN POLITICIAN GIVING BETTER FINANCIAL ADVICE THAN MOST WALLSTREET ANALYSTS LMAO
[+25] u/No-Insurance100: Who is buying this market
Are you all mentally incompetent
[+25] u/swenau01: How is the market still falling for his bullshit truths
[+25] u/NaturalFortune8397: load calls at open
this definitely will hold
absolutely nothing bad could possibly happen
[+25] u/LouieM13: Bulls couldn’t even win on a low volume day, imagine tomorrow lol
[+24] u/BFox1982: This has to be one of the biggest unforced errors in American history. 🇺🇸
[+24] u/X211499Reddit: Only 🥭 can tweet starting with great news and ending with a shitpile of threats lmao
[+24] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: hey I hope all of you make money today
[+24] u/skin_flute_player: Lmao Iran literally said yesterday to not believe the pump.
[+24] u/WSB-mods-are-: The best thing about buying SPY calls at open is opening the app an hour later to see them down 70%
[+24] u/dontslambro: Shit Biden, you’re retired. Why you keep doing this shit?
[+24] u/WayDry848: President Donald Trump **is considering asking Arab countries to cover the U.S. costs of a war with Iran,** White House Press Secretary Caroline Levitt said on Monday. She noted that Trump plans to provide further details on the matter.
LOL
[+23] u/LasyKuuga: # IRAN PM HAS INSIDER INFO
[+23] u/iknowdemfeelsbro326: Ya probably fake greeen. How do I know? Me making money isn't allowed.
[+23] u/A_Chair_Bear: > “We are having good talks”
> “They will face wrath and ruin later this week maybe”
[+23] u/DealNormal8505: trump is like that guy who says talks are going well with my ex girlfriend by texting her from new numbers that she blocks over and over meanwhile she is filing for a restraining order
[+23] u/patmccock86: They're going to bankrupt the country trying to pump this dogshit back up after each red candle. Biggest nimrods in our nation's history
[+23] u/A55BAG: Thanks Obama
https://preview.redd.it/che3xicro7sg1.jpeg?width=976&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fcbff907ff10898e94c423246b3365bc90dc2d4e
[+23] u/sloanemonroe: The people who are STILL waiting for a fucking tweet that will rocket the market are batshit crazy delusional
[+23] u/FeelingCulture649: Bigger trap than my gf having a cock
[+22] u/Specialist_Fig9458: AGAIN, THIS WAS ALL COMPLETELY AVOIDABLE HOLY FUCK
[+22] u/OkAlternative7705: I won’t be fooled again, I won’t buy puts at open ✋. I will be wise, I will wait 10 minutes
[+22] u/burtburtburtcg: Bol: it can’t go tits up
It: *goes tits up*
Bol: 😲
[+22] u/derprondo: HAVE YOU SEEN THE DOW?!?!?
Yeah bitch I see it, fucking thing sucks.
[+22] u/zurijer: Mango: OPEN THE STRAIT NOW!!!
Iran: it was open before you dropped bombs on us.
[+22] u/Spiritual-End7310: “Stock futures rise as Trump signals progress in US-Iran war talks” - CNBC
Are we really falling for this again?
[+22] u/Urzuck: Spoiler: Stocks will not go up with oil at 103$
[+21] u/thegreatgumbini: Is it still a "once in a generation" buying opportunity if there isn't going to be another generation? 🤔
[+21] u/Internal_Field5970: 🥭 on Friday: “I like to surround myself with retards to make me feel better about myself”
He literally admitted he was a member of this sub
[+21] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #BRO TRYING TO REOPEN A STRAIGHT THAT WAS OPEN BEFORE THE WAR LMAO
[+21] u/Commercial_Seat_3704: Nasdaq has never posted 11 red weeks in a row. We're working on #11 right now. 🥭 out here setting records left and right.
[+21] u/Soffatjockis: Yo, drill team six here.
We worked so hard on Friday we haven't had the time or energy to gear up just yet. We will start drilling as usual later today.
Drill team six out!
[+21] u/Stilnovisti: You know negotiations are going well when the next line in his tweet is a threat of major escalation and war crimes. Anyway, good enough for the market to pump a little.
[+21] u/BFox1982: These Truth Social posts are getting more and more unhinged. Bro totally lost the plot.
[+21] u/clubdirthill: If the market ever learns about the concept of “lying” we are screwed.
[+21] u/No-Put2311: The great bol rally of 9:30am March 30th 2026 to 9:31am March 30th 2026
[+20] u/ShittyUsernane1222: the fact that markets are moved by the deranged tweets of an pedo with dementia and multiple bankruptcies never ceases to amaze me.
[+20] u/Ok_Passage7069: Oh the markets been getting pummeled because we’ve been bombing and threatening Iran, so to solve it and pump the markets, we threaten Iran. Got it
[+20] u/awetfartruinedmylife: woah we really fighting for a +0.2% after weeks of red back to back. fuck it
[+20] u/Concerned_Fanboy: Wow, just got of the phone with my boys at the MIT physics lab and they ran some tests, turns out there is no universe in which we end today green. Crazy
[+20] u/SpeakerImaginary9796: Buls were dancing in the streets just yesterday saying the war is over. Don’t be bul.
[+20] u/Gom_KBull: # Bol thesis
* *~~Stocks only go up~~*
* *~~war is over~~*
* *~~🍑 going to TACO and save me~~*
* *Time in the market beats timing the market*
[+20] u/Worried_Quarter469: Morgan Stanley upgrades cash to overweight
[+20] u/Nice-Difference8641: confession: i'm too much of a pussy to ever buy options so i just do leveraged etf shares and hold until they're green
[+20] u/Mother___Night: The more he threatens, the further away from a deal he is. He's so easy to read.
[+20] u/zlordbeats: fakest pre market i’ve ever seen
[+19] u/Weak_Ostrich459: Yaknow, the strait was open for free for everyone before the war started
[+19] u/sconnie64: Watching wolf of wall street rn. but he actually makes money. What am I doing wrong? Do I need more drugs???
[+19] u/RockTraditional6757: Any chance jpow 2028? He should be the one to lead the US.
[+19] u/MrIntuition: can this just tank already, it clearly wants to and i’m sick of being a 🌈 🐻
[+19] u/Educational_Wall3926: you can make up an iranian sounding gmail and troll the whitehouse into negotitating with you right now
[+19] u/ShittyUsernane1222: the thing which might get 🥭 impeached could be that he absolutely demolishes financial markets in which everyone from congress, institutional funds to wsb regards are invested in.
[+19] u/peterpeer9: I think for this April's Fools Day I'm going to tell everyone at work I quit and they'll be like "lol good one" and then I stop showing up and finally HR calls me asking what's going on and I tell them "I was being serious. I'm done." and then years go by and I'm sitting in a retirement home and I finally hop back into Teams and tell them "April fools! got you" and ask for my 20 years of backpay.
[+19] u/Happy-Champion1661: "IF YOU DON'T IMMEDIATELY OPEN THE FUCKING STRAIT I WILL PERSONALLY GIVE YOU MORE TIME. ALSO FUK U IRANIAN GUY, LET ME ~~STEAL~~ MAKE MONEY"
[+19] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: we might never see green again for 3 years
[+19] u/AnimalIndependent: Im down 40% this week fml
[+19] u/bearhunter429: #We just had 5 red weeks in a row which only happens like once a decade and bol can't even get a dead cat bounce after it. They will dump SPY far below $500 or even below $400 this time. LMAO🤌
[+19] u/spellbadgrammargood: Reasons to be in a relationship:
1. sex
2. split rent cost
[+18] u/sauronII: Try not to get drafted too soon. Right now pomegranate starts blooming in Iran, which is pretty but doesn‘t smell nice. Much better to go in july when jasmine is blooming and everything smells lovely.
[+18] u/cannythecat: 6 red weeks in a row. If we get to 8 red weeks in a row that only happened before during the great depression in 1932. LMAO 🤌
[+18] u/Confident-Window4928: Iran literally said this will happen lmao
[+18] u/Bizonistic: Bull market lasted from 9.30 - 9.32 LOL
[+18] u/JernauG: It’s possible we’re dealing with a completely fraudulent system
[+18] u/Internal_Field5970: At least none of us are risky investors that use margin
[+18] u/NewAccount428412: At this rate mu will have a lower marketcap than their annual profit.
[+18] u/Zetice: Mango on weekends: we will wipe
entire country!!
Mango on weekdays: I am negotiating with myself to end this war.
[+18] u/RacingGreen94: What happened to pumps, remember pumps? I love pumps we used to have the best pumps, we really did and now there aren't any pumps anymore and it's a really sad thing, terrible really. And by the way nobody knows pumps better than me, I asked them I said 'hey what about the pumps?' and they said no more pumps and it's a shame really.
[+18] u/steffur: We'll guys I wrecked my account for the 3rd time now, just can't control myself. After winning 80k in a couple months gambled it all aways on monthly MSFT calls the next month. Transferred the last 10k to my bank to pay my bills and closing all my gambling accounts. Been a wild ride last 8 years, much love and good luck to you regards, would've loved to keep going but I'm just too much of a gambling addict, peace out!
[+18] u/Weak_Emu3659: # wsb meetup = fyre festival
[+18] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: Real talk. I feel like a fuk tard when I spend hours on FB market place to make $30 and then I lose 3k in 6 minutes on options
[+18] u/FuckingJPMAlgos: # ok that's it I am done with this market. Sold my port for -50% but whatever I can still keep my 50% for another time. Fuck retard king, fuck wsb, fuck the algos.
[+18] u/Paul_Robert_: If Tuesday is red as well, I'm royally fucked
[+17] u/sauronII: imagine reading that and be like: I should buy some calls 👍
[+17] u/SHUT_DOWN_EVERYTHING: So there are negotiations exclusively inside 🥭's head where he is negotiating with a "new regime" that also only exists in his head.
And markets are pumping based on that. What a world!
[+17] u/Remarkable_Owl: CNBC: “Stock futures rise as Trump signals progress in U.S.-Iran war talks” …and those retards believe him? Puts.
[+17] u/LostandConfused2024: I made 125k gains in a week boys. FUCK YEAH.
[+17] u/Gom_KBull: >*Marco Rubio tells Al Jazeera Trump prefers diplomacy*
>*Trump threatens to ‘obliterate’ Iran’s energy sources, as Tehran calls US plan ‘unrealistic’*
We on some "Lying door, truthful door" riddle shit bros
[+17] u/No_Current3675: Imagine how green your port would be if we took the very difficult step of prosecuting child rapists.
[+17] u/ValueOfADollar: that is NOT a bullish tweet LOL
[+17] u/MasterElite1: >POWELL: US FEDERAL BUDGET IS ON AN UNSUSTAINABLE PATH
✅️ Quick, triple the energy price
[+17] u/wasifaiboply: Repeat after me:
"I am the exit liquidity."
🤡🌎
[+17] u/imakeitrayn: you gotta be a special type of R worded to see a market be up +0.9% in the middle of a global economic crisis and say "yea let me load up on calls, today's definitely a +3% day".
All on you chief, you hit the button.
[+17] u/BeepBoopDep: Lmfao reading premarket comments is literal gold. Bulls were so yappy and confident the obvious trap would last 😂😂😂😂😂😂
[+17] u/SmallCapsOnly: Bears rejoice, you called it.
The dead cat bounce from March of 2020 is finally over, hope you’re still solvent ;P
[+17] u/Master-Stranger8908: At this point only Iran can tell me what to buy
[+17] u/vSlickRick1: Bulls really thought that pump was real
[+17] u/Jeremy1013: TAKE THE DUMP RIGHT HERE IN MY MOUTH SPY PLEASE 👄
[+17] u/ImpossibleAardvark17: Man someone directly called about mangos war crime threat and she just shut him off what timeline is this
[+17] u/Bxdwfl: Turns out, you can't taco out of a real war
[+17] u/NaturalFortune8397: i genuinely hope we hit 140 a barrel, just to see what happens, it ain’t even about the money anymore
[+17] u/orrangearrow: Most orderly correction ever. Everybody just politely heading towards the exit. No sir, after you.... NO SIR, AFTER YOU!!!!
[+17] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: 20 ships! By god, gas is gonna be .99 a gallon by Tuesday.
[+17] u/Revolver_Lanky_Kong: Pam Bondi calling the absolute top with "the Dow is over 5000 right now" then free falling immediately after was peak cinema thank you writers of reality
[+17] u/dontslambro: IRANIAN FOREIGN MINISTRY: WE HAVE NOT CONDUCTED ANY NEGOTIATIONS WITH THE UNITED STATES DURING THE 31 DAYS OF THE WAR
Fuck this admin
[+16] u/Itchy_Election_5327: we spiking b/c i bought 0dte puts- yw
[+16] u/ValueOfADollar: can we send Clavicular to Iran
[+16] u/No-Adeptness8801: AMERICANS THINK BEFORE VOTING NEXT TIME DUMBIES
[+16] u/dontslambro: US war against Iran exceeds $35 billion in just 30 days — Iran War Cost Tracker That’s more than NASA's entire annual budget
[+16] u/llDS2ll: **PANIC! FREAK THE FUCK OUT! SELL EVERYTHING! IT'S FUCKING OVER!**
[+16] u/Walking72: Trump vows to unleash hell in the spirit of peace.
[+16] u/Actual_Difference617: The tax people want to make a deal so badly with me. They are saying please make a deal with us, pay us something but I don’t think I will make that deal.
[+16] u/lSazedl: That Iranian guy told you all what to do
[+16] u/clubdirthill: They’ll attack Kharg when the Iranians are sitting down for Easter dinner. Strategic genius.
[+16] u/No-Put2311: Bols gloating to bers pretending like the floor didn’t cave in on them 2 minutes into open
[+16] u/Concerned_Fanboy: You know its bad when you got Marco Rubio going on Al Jazeera and literally begging.
This is crazy
[+16] u/Specialist_Fig9458: Pumps used to be believable
[+16] u/According-Page8618: oil up, vix up, spy up, gold up, btc up. MSFT UP??
someone is lying
[+16] u/Excellent_Row8297: THEY’RE EATING THE BULLS. THEY’RE EATING THE BEARS
[+16] u/Ninefingerzs: Trump is literally telling another country he is going to blow up their home if they don’t answer the phone, total psycho ex boyfriend mentality
[+16] u/Dude_HaHa: # LMAO BOOLS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS 😂
[+16] u/No-Put2311: If you loved MU at $450 you will love it at $112
[+16] u/DoubleFamous5751: Would be hilarious if we had a bot here that reported when user’s got margin called and why.
MarginCallBot: “SleepyPP42069 has been margin called for $72,345 on a 1DTE call spread, better luck next time, retard”
[+16] u/hfbvm2: When is my iranian quant going to drop the next tip
[+16] u/naija123456: Yeah economy is cooked for a while. All unnecessarily too. 🥭 will legitimately go down as the worst ever.
[+16] u/Muted-South4737: Had a coworker quietly explain to me that this is legit 4D chess.
I honestly didn't know people were sincere about that.
[+16] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Losing so much because of the dumbest war in US history
[+16] u/The_BakedCrusader: One like and I'll full port into SPY 600 puts
[+16] u/LURKER21D: best trading day ever for this guy.
[+16] u/jijitalk: I miss sleepy Joe. I want to eat ice cream with Joe. Please bring Joe back. I miss him so much. Please Joe come back. Joe......
[+16] u/stock_dude9: Wow Iran told us the playbook and they nailed it
[+16] u/jasperCrow: Iran doesn’t seem at all interested in resolving this anytime soon
[+16] u/Beneficial-Sail-6139: About to be 6 figures in the negative lol
[+16] u/ChampionshipOdd947: The market can turn around at any second. All it takes is:
The US and Israel to become super good friends with Iran and promise never to hurt each other ever again.
The mag7 to get back all of the capex they spent on AI and put it toward things that will actually make them revenue.
For private credit lenders to miraculously come up with the money to pay back all of their borrowers and clients and avoid defaulting on the debt maturities due by the end of the year
For inflation to get in the Fed's goal rate of 2 percent right now.
And for rates to go down to make housing affordable again.
Easy.
[+15] u/Bubbly-Form-7059: Guys this is obviously 5D chess here Trump knows exactly what he’s doing
[+15] u/MrNewking: https://preview.redd.it/ilgg82jz46sg1.png?width=920&format=png&auto=webp&s=750ed246fe0256c6504aa0af86f275891ecfda06
[+15] u/borkdpasito: 🥭 needs to shut the fuck up lol. He seems desperate now - it’s going to start pumping oil
[+15] u/Nero23x: Soon prepare ur anos 🐻
https://preview.redd.it/5b2gjcr7b6sg1.jpeg?width=2400&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=932096eaa9d3bb0681a9c3975456f5671bf0e534
[+15] u/Specialist_Fig9458: If that Iranian politician is right and we dump today I’m going to be such an insufferable POS to Bols LMAO
[+15] u/Snowman33001: What is everyone so worried about?
We’re building a new ballroom
Everything’s gonna be fine.
[+15] u/ballsonreddit: That Iranian dude was so right..
[+15] u/PocaMadre69: Every week same scam pump
[+15] u/M_from_Vegas: ONE OF US
ONE OF US
[+15] u/MadHat0815: Congrats, MU bagholder - you’re now officially a long‑term investor! Come back during the next memory supercycle in about ten years to finally sell at a profit… or just realize your loss right now!
Don´t miss this chance, it's only downhill from here for a while!
[+15] u/Colloquial: Bols u voted for this retard
[+15] u/delicious_oppai: Only dumbass bols get excited over a bounce that makes their -99% calls -98% 🤡
[+15] u/Dependent_Boat_3144: # President Trump interested in calling on Arab states to help pay for Iran war lol
Bols actually paid for the war
[+15] u/PunchingAgreenbush: BREAKING: President Trump is interested in calling on Arab countries to "pay for the cost of the Iran War," per White House officials.
President Trump will soon have more to say on the topic, according to the White House.
LOL
[+15] u/confused_teabagger: >Trump says U.S. will destroy Iran’s oil wells, Kharg Island without deal to ‘immediately’ reopen Hormuz Strait
If I know anything about Middle-Eastern geopolitics, I know that attacking the most radical ones makes them comply immediately. And, at least in this case, if we destroy their wells and Kharg Island they will be so sad that they will have to let ships through the strait unmolested! Very big brained idea!
[+15] u/NaturalFortune8397: the fact that cramer was bearish, and was right should show how serious this situation is
somebody hold me
[+15] u/JeffProbst_On_Cbs: https://preview.redd.it/3wbrecrqd8sg1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fc8c5d10da1e1ec9de535e563857a6f21ac6db3f
[+15] u/ShittyUsernane1222: \> Hegseth orders social media websites to hand over data about anti-war content
the US fumbled in Iran, the US will fumble at domestic surveillance too lmao.
puts on PLTR for contributing to the US fumbling in US-Iran war.
[+15] u/awetfartruinedmylife: every day. every fucking day
[+15] u/Street-Badger: Blowing up desalination plants sounds very on brand.
[+15] u/LowWarthog: I wake in the morning and I step outside. I take a deep breath and get real high. Then I scream from the top of my lungs, what’s going on?!!
[+15] u/BlackKnightsOptions: *buys 1 put*
Market: U WOT M8
[+15] u/Silver-Barracuda7834: Holy fuck I want to die
[+15] u/Valkorion335786: WSB singlehandedly keeping SPY propped
True patriots
[+15] u/Important_Shirt_1567: EVERY GODDAMN DAY THE STOCK MARKET IS RED, WHO COULD AFFORD THIS SHIT, ITS LIKE SETTING MONEY ON FIRE
[+15] u/TickTockTaudit: **IRANIAN CRAMER NAILED HIS BANBET**
[+15] u/Helios420A: i’m negotiating with Wendy’s, i just called her, she’s desperate to hire me, you’ve never seen anybody so desperate in your life, they look at me and say “sir please”, and they make burgers, did you know that? nobody had ever heard of that
[+15] u/Nice-Difference8641: But she had an annoying laugh
[+15] u/RollofDuctTape: You guys say “pump” and then I get excited. And then I look and realize you don’t satisfy your wives if that’s what you call a “pump.” Pumps have more oomph.
[+14] u/Idlehour_Knives: Old leader: Ayatollah Khameni, 86
New leader: Ayatollah Khameni, 56
🥭: “I would consider that regime change,” he said, adding, “You can’t do much better than that.”
[+14] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: Starting to get ‘has lost more than 20%’ notifications
[+14] u/Fineous400: Some of you didn’t trade the Great Depression and it shows.
[+14] u/ANJR2: My Wendy’s coworkers just said, ‘welcome back diamond hands.’ 😭
[+14] u/ThinCrusts: #MARKETS ARE CLOSED ON FRIDAY. ADJUST YOUR POSITIONS ACCORDINGLY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER
[+14] u/delicious_oppai: You woulda made money if you listened to the Iranian dude on Twitter 😂
[+14] u/mardigrasmoker: So us admits to war crimes and we pump
[+14] u/thegreatgumbini: More blood for the blood god.
Bol skulls for the skull throne.
[+14] u/MadHat0815: If you liked SPY at 690 then you´re gonna love it at 590!
[+14] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: We’re all down a shitload right? Fucking vote next time dumbass
[+14] u/dontslambro: TRUMP ON TRUTH SOCIAL:
THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IS IN SERIOUS DISCUSSIONS WITH A NEW, AND MORE REASONABLE, REGIME TO END OUR MILITARY OPERATIONS IN IRAN. GREAT PROGRESS HAS BEEN MADE BUT, IF FOR ANY REASON A DEAL IS NOT SHORTLY REACHED, WHICH IT PROBABLY WILL BE, AND IF THE HORMUZ STRAIT IS NOT IMMEDIATELY “OPEN FOR BUSINESS,” WE WILL CONCLUDE OUR LOVELY “STAY” IN IRAN BY BLOWING UP AND COMPLETELY OBLITERATING ALL OF THEIR ELECTRIC GENERATING PLANTS, OIL WELLS AND KHARG ISLAND (AND POSSIBLY ALL DESALINIZATION PLANTS!), WHICH WE HAVE PURPOSEFULLY NOT YET “TOUCHED.” THIS WILL BE IN RETRIBUTION FOR OUR MANY SOLDIERS, AND OTHERS, THAT IRAN HAS BUTCHERED AND KILLED OVER THE OLD REGIME’S 47 YEAR “REIGN OF TERROR.” THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER. PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP
[+14] u/Doclub29: Why the fuck is a terrorist treat considered bullish lmao
[+14] u/Antiwhippy: You can almost set an alarm to these Truth social pumps.
[+14] u/BadBoyBilbo: GUYS! THE PUMP IS REAL THIS TIME! GET IN HERE!
[+14] u/Moepenmoes: Iran already saying again that Trump made up his claims and that there are no talks going on whatsoever
[+14] u/Hellmale: Morgan Stanley advises buying the dip 😆
[+14] u/The_BakedCrusader: Nothing has materially changed over the weekend. Zero reason to trust any pump unless serious de-escalation happens.
[+14] u/Weak_Ostrich459: Iranian spokesperson was right yesterday, 🥭 was trying to fluff and shit dropped
[+14] u/BurstingTitan88: This place is much less fun without stickers. Someone tell Reddit to go back to being fun
[+14] u/CD274: I can't believe the speaker of the Iranian parliament controls the stock market
[+14] u/Panacamana: Who is buying this garbage? What compelling sign is there that would make any rational person buy?
[+14] u/arbitraryBlue: Imagine if the US invested in trains and buses and other cool shit we can use. Anyways, $30 BILLION MORE TO ISRAEL RIGHT FUCKIN NOW
[+14] u/hfbvm2: WTF. Iranian quant was right all along.
[+14] u/BarbellPadawan: J Pow is so fucking cool
[+14] u/patmccock86: This is the fakest pump lmao
[+14] u/Commercial-District1: https://preview.redd.it/s4v84m3nf7sg1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a7863934e6f82b04670222f43867ba71f4ddd294
[+14] u/TinyDelegation: Made $16 this morning off 0dte scalp. Ill take it. Im done for the day
[+14] u/No-Put2311: Yes waiter I’ll take my bol steak medium well
[+14] u/br0botic: WHITE HOUSE: TRUMP WOULD BE INTERESTED IN CALLING ON ARAB COUNTRIES TO HELP PAY FOR COST OF WAR
Just like Mexico paid for the wall… wait -
[+14] u/Soffatjockis: I'm waiting for something to crack.
I guess it will take a while for the oil turbulence to be really felt throughout the world economy.
But the oil reserves are drying up. Especially in Asia. This war is not ending anytime soon. Cards will fall. And frankly, I'm a bit scared, even as a bear.
[+14] u/Warm_Implement3088: Reporter: "Is Mango threatening Iran with war crimes against their civilians"
Leavitt: "Idk Maybe"
[+14] u/MadHat0815: At this point Im honestly convinced that the market would instantly shoot up like 10% the moment 🥭 bites the dust
[+14] u/bkilpatrick3347: I miss when the president was the quiet kind of old
[+14] u/ddrsdght: Generational fuck up
[+14] u/modder9: Fox News removed the stock ticker today?
[+14] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: Headlines should read:
Overpriced market barely down 10% as existential risks plague the globe.
[+14] u/Christiano97: BREAKING NEWS
TALKS GOING WELL WITH SUICIDE HOTLINE
[+14] u/Happy-Champion1661: who the fuck bought on that news lmao
taco trying to force spy not to go into correction.
[+14] u/smart_doge: Bols have accurately predicted 17 out of 2 Bol rallies in last 5 weeks
[+14] u/Neel_Crashkari: Imagine AOC's massive milkers
[+14] u/Expert_Agency1097: https://preview.redd.it/e5abzzj6l6sg1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9308743212917102af79ed8bfb4e0b0dc6b7cb6b
Oh yah baby
[+14] u/ten7four: I just got a reddit achievement for posting in wsb 20 days in a row. Not good. Time to touch grass
[+14] u/Revolver_Lanky_Kong: GREATEST 8 MINUTE BULL RUN OF 2026.
[+14] u/Valkorion335786: We are now searching for a way to open the Strait
But the Strait was open before all of this
I love finding problems for existing solutions
[+14] u/bearhunter429: #Red days: -2%, green days: +0.17% LMAO🤌
[+14] u/bears2broke: #-3% PRETTY PLZ WITH CUM ON THE TOP
[+14] u/ercanbas: Yeah Iran is the crazy one lol
[+13] u/Colloquial: Bols are now cheering for ... premarket 638
[+13] u/SadDevelopment3049: Are you guys stupid? Threatening to bomb all their oil fields and desalination plants is bullish!
[+13] u/ebfeebfe: I own @IranLeadershipOfficial on Truth Social. Talks are going great. What to DM him next?
[+13] u/9tacos: No Mr. 🐻, I poop from that hole
[+13] u/twostroke1: **Breaking:** JP Morgan and Goldman Sachs enter bidding war to hire Iran Parliament Speaker after showcasing world class level trading skills.
[+13] u/Walking72: Trump says he has 'no problem' with Russian oil tanker bringing relief to Cuba despite blockade
[+13] u/WillingCommittee: How could Barack Biden to this to my stonks
[+13] u/Czyzzle: He bankrupted another casino
[+13] u/jayxmor: So you’re telling me that overnight pump was a joke? LMAO
[+13] u/getbentspez: Thank god I already lost all my money months ago so I don’t have to lose it now
[+13] u/EnginrA: Have no idea why we are green but hey whatever
[+13] u/2020isgreat: how are people interpreting that tweet as bullish lmao
[+13] u/vee1rot8: Cutting a 16k tax check for last year while my port is deep red this year is quite the kick in the balls
[+13] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Ill trade you 10 gallons of gas rations for your rotisserie chicken.
[+13] u/iBoughtAtTheBottom: Some guy on YouTube said puts till October and I might just listen to
[+13] u/UnintelligibleThing: "Trump threatens to ‘obliterate’ Kharg Island and Iran’s oil wells if a deal is not reached ‘shortly’"
Oh boy. Red light therapy today?
[+13] u/jeffynihao: Trump: Great progress with Iran
But also Trump: we're gonna bomb the sht out of kharg island if you don't open up the Strait
[+13] u/hfbvm2: The guy trump had good talks with said buy puts on open.
[+13] u/AfraidAnalyst: So…Iran says it is fake news again.
What’s wild is I’m believing IRAN more than the president of the US
[+13] u/stock_dude9: Calls on Iran, they literally handed us the playbook for today and couldn’t have been more accurate
[+13] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: I love seeing bols quiet. when they stfu this places so much more enjoyable
[+13] u/An_Unusual_Mind: Iran: Your V is canceled.
[+13] u/BeepBoopDep: BREAKING NEWS: If you bought calls at open, you're eligible for mental disability benefits. Congrats!
[+13] u/jasperCrow: Starting to realize that unfortunately a tweet doesn’t open straight of Hormuz up. 🙂↕️
[+13] u/Happy-Champion1661: friendship with truth social ended. Iranian guy is my new buy/sell signal.
[+13] u/Boheed: JPow really came out in a bathrobe, drinking milk straight from the carton
[+13] u/bigboybigbat: Loaded up on puts. Send this fake pump to the trash where it belongs
[+13] u/Detonate-Ralph: Iran literally warned about the fake pumps, how can bols be so regarded lmao
[+13] u/postachioo: Wow they baited the bools on that fake pamp
[+13] u/Long_duk_dong_duck: Fucking Jake just cost me 5 grand
[+13] u/burtburtburtcg: Bol so hungry they’ll eat a dead cat
[+13] u/Bizonistic: Can't even have a green Monday, fuck this shit
[+13] u/Any_Life_6178: Whoever didn’t short this market is a generational regard😂🫵🫵🫵🫵
[+13] u/BlueMoon00: Special moment everyone, I just had my first ever margin call!
[+13] u/Coley44: Don't worry guys; THIS IS THE PUMP
[+13] u/BFox1982: This never would have happened if that dumb bimbo hadn't brought up DOW 50,000
[+13] u/silverfutes: CNN Main Headline: "A Recession is Guaranteed, but When?".
Ok, click... "This article is for subscribers only".
Fk off CNN, nobody's buying that crap.
[+13] u/bearhunter429: #SPY should bottom somewhere around $400-500 if we win the war or $200-300 if we lose the war LMAO🤌
[+13] u/SergeantThreat: Turns out the person we’re negotiating with from Iran is just Putin in an Emporer Palpatine hood
[+13] u/PompeiiSketches: Bool century of humiliation
[+13] u/bb483: The sell off that will occur before holiday weekend will truly be biblical
[+13] u/Diligent_Onion_5149: SPY going up, OIL going up! Everything going up except my Portfolio
[+13] u/Extreme_Green_1708: US government drops off tiger woods in large SUV on Karg island.
[+13] u/Total_Schedule591: Attention, Thank you for your matter
[+13] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: YOU 🫵 thought puts were free money 😂
[+13] u/optionsmaster42069: It’s just a higher low until proven otherwise guys. Don’t get greedy thinking the bottom is in. Until resolution is achieved it’s just going to keep going lower and probably still will after that lmao.
[+13] u/ZombieDracula: Iranian forces struck the Habshan-Fujairah oil pipeline, a key UAE route bypassing the Strait of Hormuz, disrupting alternative oil export paths amid escalating US-Israel-Iran conflict
15 mins ago
[+13] u/hunnna: This pump too will be lost like tears in the rain
[+13] u/0insertusernamehere: How long until todays red light therapy starts?
[+13] u/shortitforever: You’re a moron if you fell for that premarket pump, not sorry.
[+13] u/DatBoiii4: Bulls getting excited about less than a percentage point pump is unironically very bearish
[+13] u/1foxyboi: RKLB down over 40% from ath in 2 months
[+13] u/Fun-Journalist2276: dont worry guys i have bought puts... up we go!!!
[+13] u/Dramatic_Cherry_9344: The Iranian parliament dude was spot on 😆😆😆
[+13] u/Specialist_Fig9458: Bulls watched one episode of Landman and think they can outrun the largest oil supply shock in modern history LMAO
[+13] u/Cav829: The Big Short 2 is going to open with Steve Carrel sitting down at dinner with a man explaining how Scott Bessent spent billions of U.S. taxpayer dollars on oil shorts.
[+13] u/Clubpenguin8888: thanks 🥭 for my $200k in losses ✅
[+13] u/lococommotion: 50% loss on my 0dtes today. Theta cooked me. Cashed out the L
[+13] u/StrangeInsanity: The market speaks, the sooner we hit spx 6000 the sooner we could pressure Mango to end this war. Bulls just let it free fall, its for our own good and maybe for the world.
[+13] u/Waste-Head7963: Keep dumping more so I can lose more.
[+13] u/Trashpanda7193: I’m so fucked I feel sick
[+13] u/broke_person: I lost $100k of my asset YTD
Thanks 🥭
[+12] u/ConstantAd1: I'm happy to announce great progress has been made in my marriage proposal to Jennifer Lawrence. A deal will probably be reached. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
[+12] u/SteveStacks: I hope bears don't start chickening out. load up on puts today.
[+12] u/TheEaterOfTacos: Once stocks go up, they shouldn’t be allowed to go down.
[+12] u/Strong_Coffee_9999: I'm not a bear, but there's no reason the market should be up. Nothing has changed.
[+12] u/Thebaxxxx: Everything up at the same time can only mean one thing. JPOW has gone dark and started up the money printer again without telling anyone
[+12] u/I_Study_The_Patterns: LMAO Bulls actually thought that would hold. Prime Minister of I ran called it
[+12] u/teh_herper: #We are selling to willing buyers at the current fair market price.
[+12] u/Urzuck: They're really trying to keep this dead market up with every trick possible lol
[+12] u/cantTankThisFox: Born too early to explore the seas, born too late to explore the galaxies, but born just in time to buy calls at the peak
[+12] u/wildcat1055: And that concludes the green portion of the week.
Buckle up.
[+12] u/jeffynihao: Let's be real for a sec...I'm feeling extremely depressed over one man tanking my entire portfolio for a month straight. Like I legit want to just die rn.
[+12] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #breaking: CNBC to hire IRRANIAN PM as analyst given his 100% track record
[+12] u/FabulousLanguage6216: They have so many reasons to impeach him that is not even funny anymore
[+12] u/trsx5: IRAN'S PARLIAMENT APPROVES BILL TO IMPOSE FEES ON HORMUZ STRAIT
Oil to $150 - Nice job boys!! 47 Years from 2 weeks away again!!
[+12] u/The_BakedCrusader: Oil disagrees with this pump. Not trusting it.
[+12] u/rcantu314: Imagine still posting in the weekend thread
[+12] u/Happy-Champion1661: stonks up on the news that... idk man this shit always pumps on Monday and dumps rest of the week
[+12] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Fucking lost my wallet at an NHL game last night. Froze all my cards when I realized it at 10pm. No purchases made before freezing. Hopefully somebody turned it in but stadium is closed. So stressful
[+12] u/GittingerFredl: 2:16 until market opens, which is exactly the runtime of Mickey 17 - so you could watch a great movie instead of shitposting here
[+12] u/A55BAG: Stocks up, oil up, metals up. Everybody making money 😅
[+12] u/Frozen_Shades: Clamoring for some retard to post on the internet is honestly the most retarded thing in human history.
[+12] u/FartPolluter: Whenever you think bers are getting a bit too stupid, you listen to the bol case and wonder if we are basically looking at a fallout type scenario
[+12] u/Fast-Reply6409: The Bols can't be falling for this again, right?
[+12] u/codespyder: If this dumps at open, then I’m subscribing to that Iranian politician’s substack
[+12] u/Specialist_Fig9458: Ending red would be the funniest outcome therefore that’s what will happen
[+12] u/Moepenmoes: Red EoD, you know it, I know it, everyone knows it
Everyone is just trying to gamble spare change during those tiny green spikes
[+12] u/Bonkers119: Fake futures, red by 10am
[+12] u/Ok_Wealth_3433: Just need market to open and I’ll dump my calls right away, not taking any risks. Your welcome, market will probably now pump 3%
[+12] u/Dumb__Money: Bulls are waiting to be fed grass and then slaughtered.
[+12] u/jraiv420: Wow no way MM pumped low volume off hours to rug retail on open so surprised 😂
[+12] u/Open_Waltz6902: This market is a joke and my portfolio is the punchline
[+12] u/soad1331: Thanks for the tip, Iran guy
[+12] u/snspro: COOL PRESIDENT YOU GOT THERE MURICANS
[+12] u/xTeeD: Invasion starting on Easter weekend makes perfect sense as this is a holy war
[+12] u/Left-Signature-5250: Damn I wouldn't want to be long MU.
Yet, here I am - sad lol
[+12] u/Alarmed_Awareness165: Powell is drinking out of a plastic water bottle, is that a sign the Strait is open?
[+12] u/PocaMadre69: The most irrational and illogical green dicks you’ve ever seen. Everyday there’s some new fraud to prop up these markets
[+12] u/Rvin16: SPY chart forming the strait of Hormuz
[+12] u/Jimmy_Trivette: People are completely fucking delusional to believe Iran would agree to any ceasefire deal at this point, and even if by some miracle one did materialize, it would breakdown within 12 hours because Israel would never abide by it lmao
[+12] u/Internal_Field5970: Smells like exit liquidity in here
[+12] u/PROMlSED: So I just wasted my morning preparing for a meeting that got canceled. Time to trade the entire rest of the day for wasting my time
[+12] u/pepe_____-: Lmao damn this pump is so fake, doubling down on my puts, fuck u
[+12] u/bearhunter429: #Once you pass 30, life progressively gets worse and worse every day until you eventually drop dead LMAO🤌
[+12] u/Previous_Hope_2087: I like my VIX like I like my women 30+ and volatile
[+12] u/unhappyreach_: #MEET ME IN NYC SO I CAN CREEP YOU OUT IRL
# -Mods
[+12] u/Bluetimewalk: Orange swan event just happened and y'all in denial.
[+12] u/potato111a: Why would Obamna do this?
[+12] u/Leaguefizzics: Let her drop already u know u want to
[+12] u/vermilli21: YOU CAN DO IT SPY! GO RED
[+12] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: Bulls are still getting their V, just without the / part.
[+12] u/ToroLoco_TL: ISRAELI CHANNEL 13 ON A SECURITY OFFICIAL: THE IRANIAN REGIME WILL NOT FALL SOON AND WILL NEED TIME
ISRAELI CHANNEL 13: ISRAEL PROVIDES THE UNITED STATES WITH INTELLIGENCE SUPPORT TO CARRY OUT AN EXPECTED GROUND OPERATION TO OPEN THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ
[+12] u/Detonate-Ralph: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+12] u/Extreme_Green_1708: This week - Trump hits energy and infrastructure - invades Karg - peace talks going well
[+12] u/epyonxero: so are those 2000 marines just sitting in the indian ocean gooning?
[+12] u/Queasy_Soil9646: One green candle and bulls think war is over
[+12] u/hioman01: Obama, do something WTF
[+12] u/Kashabowiekid: lol so levitt is saying make a deal or we will commit a war crime nice. So we get to these people in court
[+12] u/kairepaire: I wonder how many people here were in the market during the 2008 crash
I hope you can at least zoom out and look how bad things can potentially get
[+12] u/SouthNice7324: There is no bull case anywhere
[+12] u/Dude_HaHa: Why are we more "Fuk" than before and this time its different:
* Oil and gas infra is fuk, meaning less supply and more demand. Expensive energy means expensive everything. Inflation. Rate hikes. Infra will take years to fix and replace.
* Less fertilizer, means less or expensive food production. Means inflation and rate hikes.
* Private credit Fuk.
* AI Fuk because of no helium gas for chip making.
Compound all of that: Bul R Fuk.
Can't just vibe out of this situation.
[+12] u/BoostMobileGuy: 🌮 didn’t work.. 🥭 has to pull out a huge burrito out of his ass now
[+12] u/BarbellPadawan: I’d be profitable if the market would move in favor of all my positions.
[+12] u/Abe2025: Wow, how did this become worse than the covid pandemic?. This is actually insane
[+12] u/ThatGuyDan123: My buddies son said jestergoonmaxing and now has lost internet privileges for a year lmao
[+12] u/kaapooj: this is getting worse by the day, nobody is seriously working towards peace
[+12] u/Now_Biff_Dont_Con_Me: Sometimes when I’m at my computer, my son will ask me, ‘Are you buying poots, Daddy?’ Then he laughs and runs around the room. He’s 34, btw.
[+12] u/Exact_Entrepreneur66: The secret service should make a fake truth social app that makes him feel like he is posting but all posts are going straight to the bin
[+12] u/greenchaos: vibes in here are funereal bro
[+12] u/I_work_too_much: So as an American about to join the poverty line while watching Europoors about to join the superpoverty line, I am forced to go ahead and take the L for the US on this one... It's really hard to pretend this isn't entirely our fault lol.
[+12] u/D1finalboss: Power hour ❌
Sour hour ✅
Autist hour ✅✅✅
[+12] u/ddrsdght: > TRUMP: WE ARE LOOKING AT SENDING ICE AGENTS TO HANDLE THE SITUATION ON WALL STREET
[+12] u/aa73gc: Iranian tweet guy is the new Roaring Kitty
[+12] u/Soffatjockis: I'm sure bols will be equally as cocky tomorrow when the futes open +0.13%
Lmao
[+12] u/Lil-PussyFart: I have a mental condition where I watch my options go up 400% and wait to sell them at +5%
[+12] u/ramdomvariableX: Looks like Trump is going to tweet something after 4, guessing by looking at the pump..
[+12] u/miku_fan_39: i get way too scared and always end up selling my puts for +30% gains instead of 400%
[+12] u/hv876: Rug pull later this week is going to be glorious. You guys are trading in Baron’s world
[+12] u/unikuenobody: Fun fact: Bear 122, also known as "The Boss", up in Western Canada is a legendary 750 lb grizzly bear that rules a 3000 square kilometer area. Bro is responsible for populating 70% of the bears in that region. He famously, survived a train crashing into him and brushed it off. Maybe even twice! He even eats smaller bears.
Anyway, as of March 27 he came out of hibernation early this year.
[+12] u/Irishbros1991: How the fuck anyone believes a word form his mouth anymore is beyond me.... This guy runs America LMAO
[+12] u/SSkilledJFK: Wow, he really did the tweet thing again, huh? Just hours before market opens and hits all the same notes. 🤡
[+12] u/DrummerCompetitive20: Bers currently getting rekt: " I will be averaging up at open
[+12] u/ProudPeak3570: no way we do a fake pump on monday and then bleed rest of the week again
[+12] u/milocreates: Midterms can’t come fast enough
[+12] u/One-Signature-2706: The fact that everyone thinks this pump will fade means we’re ironically going to 650
[+12] u/Heavenisaplace176: White house staff buying up before ceasefire announcement????????? Somethings going on
[+12] u/RjBloxks: 0dte puts instantly toast nice
[+12] u/AltMotive3: Strippers working near military bases say army dudes are coming in and blowing money bcs they’re getting deployed soon. I trust the stripper intel
[+12] u/Level_Counter3062: I will not be exit liquidity I will not be exit liquidity
[+12] u/According-Page8618: the day i decide to buy MU is the day it goes -7%. nice
[+12] u/bearhunter429: #I guess they will drill MU until its P/E fucking drops to 1 LMAO🤌
[+12] u/NaturalFortune8397: I’m going to be honest here for some of you that don’t have the years under your belt
the fact that so many people are holding puts expecting this to dump is the exact reason we trade sideways or up the rest of the day
the house always wins, mm aren’t paying you out
good luck
[+12] u/warm-regard: I am become bagholder, destroyer of wealth
[+12] u/Ok-Analysis4121: Shout out to my boy from Iran who said inverse 🥭 🤣🤣
[+12] u/Nice-Difference8641: > NEW: Israel told the Trump administration there is a “window of opportunity” to achieve a decisive outcome that could topple Iran’s regime, an Israeli official said, adding plans focus on striking energy infrastructure to push Iran toward financial collapse. — N12
Seriously what’s going on
snip snap snip snap
[+12] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: Performative praying while we wage a stupid war is wild work
[+12] u/dontslambro: Good luck this admin has cooked it all.
Tariff war, Actual War, now an energy crisis cooking up.
Everyone saw what happens globally when shipping is affected.
[+12] u/Low-Win-6691: End of March 2026. There is still, on average, less than 1 autonomous Tesla Robotaxi operating on planet Earth at any given time
[+12] u/BarbellPadawan: “It’s unclear who is negotiating with whom.”
Lolz. No it’s not. We all know.
[+12] u/No-Put2311: Let it be known if Bols sold at 9:30:01 am this morning they wouldn’t be in this mess
[+12] u/Shoddy_Ad897: Bulls holding their calls to zero with tears in their eyes
[+12] u/God_RL: I'd say Iran is winning the war against the US markets
[+12] u/sonianevermindX: Didn’t want to retire anyway
[+12] u/ProudPeak3570: my Iranian quant was right on the money
[+12] u/WombatShwambat: Iran talks going well inside Mango’s mind
[+12] u/Ok_Persimmon9849: Look at that SPY chart today, it wants to dump so bad and they're trying to stop it from doing it before the 0DTEs expire I know it :'(
[+12] u/ajibtunes: There is nothing else 🥭 can say to pump up the market, it is over
[+12] u/FatFluffyFish: Nice final pump for cheap(er) 0DTE puts again tmr lmao
[+12] u/Big-Refrigerator1899: i miss SPY 666, man those were the days
[+12] u/GrossFleshSack: Even if everything with Iran goes well and perfect very soon, oil prices come back down to $80 a barrel, inflation is still fucked and it was fucked even before the conflict with Iran and oil spiking. Core PCE came in at 3.0% and 3.1% for the months with data BEFORE Iran conflict. Inflation isnt going to just magically disappear, Fed is remaining neutral to Hawkish for awhile at this rate, and it seems like hiking rates should be inevitable at this point. But mango doesnt want that to happen, and the next Fed chair is coming in very soon. We might get one last pump this year before things really break.
[+11] u/Effective_Pianist229: From Donald Trumps TruthSocial 2 Minutes Ago:
The United States of America is in serious discussions with A NEW, AND MORE REASONABLE, REGIME to end our Military Operations in Iran. Great progress has been made but, if for any reason a deal is not shortly reached, which it probably will be, and if the Hormuz Strait is not immediately “Open for Business,” we will conclude our lovely “stay” in Iran by blowing up and completely obliterating all of their Electric Generating Plants, Oil Wells and Kharg Island (and possibly all desalinization plants!), which we have purposefully not yet “touched.” This will be in retribution for our many soldiers, and others, that Iran has butchered and killed over the old Regime’s 47 year “Reign of Terror.” Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DONALD J. TRUMP
[+11] u/Just_Learned_This: "If no deal is done shortly, we'll blow up every plant. Electric, desalination, marijuana."
Market: *pumps*
[+11] u/BFox1982: Australia running out of oil isn't a big deal. They'll just ride kangaroos around.
[+11] u/BillyShears2015: Oil says “bulls getting smoked again today, tweets are fake and gay.”
[+11] u/TheDudeAbidesFarOut: Hahahaha
The same pump before the rugpull..
Like clockwork.
[+11] u/LarsTarkas: I guess 🥭 threatening to blow up kharg is bullish
[+11] u/1foxyboi: Yeah Bondi, dump that dow, girl
[+11] u/Kind-Recognition4528: T-15 min to get RAPED
[+11] u/MadHat0815: I mean i'm glad that 🥭 is having good talks with his multiple personalities, but does he always have to tweet about it?
[+11] u/jasperCrow: BREAKING: the United States now rejects Tacos as a favorite food.
[+11] u/iAmGrimTV: Cut the rates we will not, raise the rates we must
[+11] u/PocaMadre69: Three dollars straight up rally is such bullshit, like always
[+11] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: i predict we have about 5 hours until the stock market closes 🤌🏻
[+11] u/MissMatriarch: Shame on you if you fell for this trap
[+11] u/CJBlueNorther: These Harvard kids can't even speak without stuttering lol. Privilege and Nepotism at it's finest.
[+11] u/soyeahiknow: Iran just attacked Israels refinery
[+11] u/KachThebest69: If the Iranians manage to install this toll booth in the end then it's a massive win for them regardless of what 🥭 says
[+11] u/wright_on_: Yes billion dollar hedge funds ARE singling you out and targeting your 2 put contracts
[+11] u/Swimming_Middle_7476: BRO, CAN SOMEONE ANNOUNCE THAT IREN ISNT IRAN????
[+11] u/MrT_IDontFeelSoGood: The fake Christianity is so painful to listen to
[+11] u/cannythecat: Bulls were dancing this morning.
[+11] u/pmotiveforce: We could have a meteor destroy half the US and descend into WW3 and you'd have absolute muppets in here chiming in with "bit too bearish in here."
[+11] u/Prudent-Leading-8835: “The arab country has to pay for the war” 😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤣 WHAT A FKING JOKE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
[+11] u/killerbeeswaxkill: Bought the dip and it kept dipping LMAO 🤌
[+11] u/PulIthEld: You know this isn't the bottom cuz people are still laughing and joking around.
[+11] u/ConsiderationKey1658: ITS NEVER GOING TO BE GREEN EVER AGAIN
[+11] u/Paddock5280: All you boots on the ground bears are missing the play this week….
Markets are closed Friday. Donny is gonna put them on the ground Thursday after market close. Gives them an extra day to get the job done and outta there by Monday morning. Easy peezy moon on Monday. Duh.
3 days to overtake a country of 92 million. Nothing could go wrong.
[+11] u/WillingCommittee: Good news: 50k on sidelines
Bad news: down 150k all time
[+11] u/Rounder221: Everyone thinks this green is fake, and therefore it is not
[+11] u/Happy-Champion1661: "AHAH LMAO SEE BUY THE DIP ALWAYS WORKS"
meanwhile SPY is 637. Imagine buying the fake ceasefire pump @ 660
[+11] u/Vort3x7689: Bols celebrating one green premarket because it isn’t dumping 2 percent for the third consecutive day lol
[+11] u/Ok-Barracuda39: His palms are sweaty. He's knees deep in Iran's spaghetti.
[+11] u/hfbvm2: Anyone watch the videos of phillipines. Thousands of people walking on the street to and from work. Tram stations are so full people are forming lines on the street. Oil became so expensive there's no taxis or public transport anymore
[+11] u/jazzyjjcups: You know you're in a bear market when Bulls continue taunting even though SPY is down 7% 💀
[+11] u/Significant_Speed854: So market manipulators burned your puts, no surprise.
[+11] u/soa333: Donnie calling Donnie to negotiate the war
[+11] u/Crazy-Bluejay4388: I am scared of missing out on the eventual pump to the moon
[+11] u/FinePerformance1046: its not manipulation its controlling the collapse
[+11] u/Neel_Crashkari: Bers in disbelief, AGAIN
[+11] u/Me-Regarded: Good start, now I need +12% more to break even
[+11] u/TheoryInttro: Equities up, gold up, silver up, oil up, bitcoin up, dollar up. Someone is lying here, and I can't tell who.
[+11] u/BillyShears2015: At this point if you still trust and believe in 🥭 your money actually is better off with someone else.
[+11] u/Molten-Helldiver: Can’t wait for the inevitable rug pull at open..
[+11] u/TheRiverStyx: "You know what? These guys are reasonable. Imma make a completely unhinged threat against them now."
ಠ_ಠ
[+11] u/iYoloNDX0DTEs: Man. Investing.com pushing Morgan Stanley’s “buy now” narrative makes me trust this pump even less.
[+11] u/Goldleader-23: Lol easiest puts of my life
[+11] u/spumpadiznik: That’s my quant (points to Iranian PM)
[+11] u/Outrageous_Tip_2133: Looks like market followed Iranian Parliament's Speaker advice at the market open. Egg on Trump's face, lol!
[+11] u/Broad-Belt-5888: Iran has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever and make a demand that the peace agreement has to be named after Obama when this is all over
[+11] u/Majestic-Bass6772: someones probably in a morning meeting rn oblivious to how their position just jumped off a cliff
[+11] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: Green has been canceled. Thank you for your attention to this matter
[+11] u/Reply_Stunning: >In a press briefing, the spokesperson for Iran’s foreign ministry denied claims of negotiations with the US and stated that Iran was not involved in a Pakistan-led diplomatic effort to end the war.
daaaaam son, I knew pakistan was in on this lmao
pakistan's in da bag
[+11] u/probably-ck: Flat rest of the day
[+11] u/J_da_CPA: No one was dumb enough to fuck with Iran lmao
[+11] u/RelegatedRick: JPow just started screaming “it’s fucking over man” is that bad?
[+11] u/utterlyirrational: america just fucking its own shit up for no reason
[+11] u/LaserAid69: Wow Trump is such a great president
[+11] u/PocaMadre69: Stupid ass algos misunderstanding what Jerome is saying
These markets are so fucking stupid
[+11] u/7fingersDeep: Remember the saying kids, what goes up must go up more.
[+11] u/DealNormal8505: bull copium whenever theres a green candle. an insider knowwws easfire ie coming bro its a green candle bro that means the war is about to end lmfaooo
[+11] u/spellbreaker: JP straight up refused to answer about what effects a further rate cut would have LMAO
[+11] u/SavingsYesterday1164: lmaooooo he really asked that
[+11] u/jeffynihao: i'll admit it. i bought the dip on IREN and then it dipped more. then i found out about the 6b dilution, now im a long term investor that's coping.
takes money to make money amirite? buy the dip on iren (pls)
[+11] u/NaturalFortune8397: don’t worry guys, $8 a gallon for gas is part of the plan
he’s playing 4d chess
nothing bad could possibly come from all of this
[+11] u/RjBloxks: Market refuses to go down like a toddler at nap time
[+11] u/trsx5: Why am I shorting energy? Well because I have a brain injury if you have to ask..
[+11] u/7fingersDeep: Sir, a second ber has hit SPY
[+11] u/1foxyboi: Anyone else notice an overwhelming amount of posts removed by reddit about 🥭
I'll share some posts to friends just about news, which usually involves him because of who he is, but it's almost always removed before they can see it.
Like an absurd rate. +90%. Are we being censored?
[+11] u/LasyKuuga: Remember when 🥭 said the market could be doing worse
Pepperidge farm remembers but apparently SPY doesn’t
[+11] u/winston511: A free meetup in NYC sounds the like gayest shit possible and that’s a low bar for this sub
[+11] u/SergeantThreat: I personally blame George Washington for founding this country
[+11] u/ebfeebfe: He is sitting there, waiting for me to buy.
I'm sitting here, waiting for him to tweet.
[+11] u/dontslambro: ISRAELI CHANNEL 13: ISRAEL PROVIDES THE UNITED STATES WITH INTELLIGENCE SUPPORT TO CARRY OUT AN EXPECTED GROUND OPERATION TO OPEN THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ
Hasn’t a lot of their data and input proven to put the US in a bind so far?
[+11] u/Valkorion335786: *What is being said publicly is different than what is said privately*
Did you just admit we shouldn't trust you LMAO
[+11] u/LarryStink: One does not simply walk into the straight of MorHuz
[+11] u/No-Insurance100: Bulls are like those seagulls
PUMP!? PUMP!? PUMP!?
[+11] u/bidahtibull: Venezuela really just gave up, huh.
[+11] u/OrdinaryMix4013: markets dont believe this dumb prego lady
[+11] u/zurijer: I’m a bol and I think these perma bols are dumb af.
Market aint going to V with this sentiment
[+11] u/ChampionshipOdd947: Yes, yes, that's it. Punish them. Punish the dipbuyers. Make them baghold.
[+11] u/PocaMadre69: Someone out there shitting their pants crying hoping begging for a double bottom
[+11] u/Dude_HaHa: # Your attempts at a "V" have been OBLITERATED. Nice try, but no refunds. Thanks for playing.
[+11] u/Gom_KBull: # wsb meetup is gonna be a bol support group meet
# one would mistaken it for a Taylor Swift Convention.
# ╮ (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.) ╭
[^(KEEN TOCKY)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJOiIRuF0CA&t=4339s)
[+11] u/BarbellPadawan: It’s actually amazing that oil is only 103 and S&P is barely down double digits.
[+11] u/Mr_ThrowAwayJohnson: Only bull case now is 🥭 gets impeached
[+11] u/Beneficial-Sail-6139: Sold everything I could sell; this is a falling fuckin axe
[+11] u/No-Put2311: I don’t even feel like rage baiting Bols just sad at this point
[+11] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: The good news is the closer we get to 0 the smaller amount 1% gets
[+11] u/burtburtburtcg: Bol need psychiatric evaluation
[+11] u/RjBloxks: Went from down 90% to up 110% on my puts, absolute cinema
[+11] u/StandardDot5115: i'm being careful here:
bill ackman on cnbc saying buy stocks (he is offloading his bags)
[+11] u/ArchegosCapitalCEO: SPY $600p or you ain’t black
[+11] u/Comfortable_Oil6642: That Iranian Parliament dude literally told everyone how to make generational wealth today and I don’t fucking listen
[+11] u/zeusbox: What's really sad is that 🥭 might have kickstarted downfall of US.
[+11] u/nemo_hoesss: Calls here, I’m too deep in to pivot. I’ll go down with the ship.
[+11] u/NaturalFortune8397: no you’re not crazy for thinking we should continue dumping
it’s just that retail has a lot of puts, understandably
and mm can’t let them pay out, house always wins
[+11] u/Significant_Speed854: He just bombed the fuck out of a country and bombed their basically president. You think they’ll just be like, “ok cool, you can leave, we won’t retaliate”
[+11] u/sun_tzu29: I've never seen someone so scared of the 10-year hitting 4.5. No pain tolerance. Sad.
[+11] u/Necessary-Lychee-486: Bulls are so dumb it hurts. You guys should enlist.
[+11] u/daedalus_dance: This TACO tastes fucking awful.
[+11] u/RelegatedRick: Can some ELI5 why the thousands of Bols celebrated and gloated before the market opened? Are they stupid?
[+11] u/patmccock86: Bessent's full time job went from running Treasury to attempting stock pumps
[+11] u/JPOW_Used_No_Lube: It's wild that all he had to do was nothing and just coast for 4 years lol
[+11] u/Czyzzle: BREAKING: Talks going well with Iranian President of Student Council
[+11] u/Just_Learned_This: Fuck, I gotta go to work before market open.
[+11] u/SmoothFlan0: Nothing has fucking changed at all
[+11] u/fire_alarmist: Mango lying and the fake goyim charts getting scam pumped by PPT. Name a better Monday morning duo.
[+11] u/PeeOnDusk: Iran about to nuke the market at open
[+11] u/M4roon: Jpow's voice so smooth and reassuring.
Everything gonna be alright.
[+11] u/kinkyhentai69: My granny got hit by a bazooka😔🪦🪦🪦
[+11] u/SoothingWafer: Up $11.31. Tonight I'm not flavoring my hot dogs with ramen seasoning packets. I'm taking out the mustard, this is only for special occasions.
[+11] u/warm_fork: https://preview.redd.it/ydj25123z7sg1.jpeg?width=3213&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=575ffdb9a1ef10ec7f83910f396cd47938cb7917
[+11] u/Still-Jackfruit2787: He will tweet after 4pm today
[+11] u/TheRootOfMostEvil: The system is about to collapse. This is your warning
[+11] u/Gristle__McThornbody: Very close to reaching same levels of bad as Liberation whatever.
[+11] u/Deadsea3132: Bro only tweets positive news lies to pump the market right before the market open. Fuck this guy
[+11] u/iYoloNDX0DTEs: This feels like one of those days where I don’t even want to trade.
[+11] u/jpric155: VIX down to.... *checks notes*... 30.
Time to celebrate!
[+11] u/Kitchen-Assist-6645: Market is up, but I'm still 1.5% down. Hmmm.
[+11] u/bearhunter429: #VIX still at 30. This crash is far from over. If anything it's barely getting started. LMAO🤌
[+11] u/moviekid214: LMAO POPE LEO SAYS YALL ARE DUMB CUNTS
[+11] u/gomper: 🥭 tweets have lost all their gravitas. He can't pump anymore, algos have learned he's full of shit
[+11] u/Abe2025: This is fcking crazy
[+11] u/brotimusmaximus: Imagine me selling 26 632 puts for a measly $283 gain thinking that was great and coming back to realize I missed out on like 6grand
[+11] u/lobsterspider: I’ve made a very handy flowchart for bulls:
Is it a V? → is Trump still president? → yes → is the Iran war still happening according to anyone else except trumps → yes → it’s not a V
[+11] u/Fine_Specialists: This is a long term investor market right now.
[+11] u/IslandExact429: Just closed my SPX puts for a $10k loss
And did not make any money as SPY fell 10% over the last few weeeks
I am simply a genius
[+11] u/Grabm_by_the_poos: CAN YOU TAKE ME LOWWWEEEERRR!!!!!!
[+11] u/powerboner: MF’S 401K’S ARE DOWN SO MUCH AND IT’S ONLY BEEN 3 FULL MONTHS! LMFAO! FUCK RETIRMENT! WE ARE NOTHING BUT SLAVES TO THE OIL TRADE
[+11] u/sirkarmalots: It’s not in his tiny hands anymore. He started the lifelong war between Israel and Iran. Israel ain’t gonna stop
[+10] u/PalsRocksMyWorld: Gentlemen, it has been an honor shitposting with you. I’ll see you on the other side of the opening bell. Good luck, and buy calls.
THIS IS NOT FINANCIAL ADVICE.
[+10] u/Fast-Reply6409: What are the odds that they set up an AI Ayatollah for him to talk to, and he thinks it's real and that he's making progress?
[+10] u/TheDudeAbidesFarOut: Iranian speaker said :
First move is fake.
[+10] u/Happy-Philosophy9211: SPY up. Nothing like cutting out peoples water supply 🤑🤑
[+10] u/The_Madman1: Something telling me it's going to shit the bed in an hour. Hope I am wrong.
[+10] u/sck178: There is no way bulls fell for this... AGAIN
[+10] u/sloanemonroe: His bullshit is pumping for less and less time. Soon a post from him will just cause it to go down
[+10] u/Master_Bief: It's going to dump harder when Jpow starts talking right?
[+10] u/Iunatic: I'm not down 20k today so it's basically a green day LMAO
[+10] u/Long_duk_dong_duck: Am I seriously gonna hold alllll these contracts into a jpow speech???
[+10] u/Cold_Distribution273: Watch us end down .6% right where futes opened last night lmao
[+10] u/Boheed: an exec at my company has been saying "stocks are on sale, buy the dip" for months and now people are calling him out in chat because they're all losing money lol
[+10] u/Fineous400: Here’s the bull’s fell for it again award
🥇
[+10] u/spellbreaker: JPow confirmed existence of the private signal chat LOL
[+10] u/Moepenmoes: "President Trump, when asked about a potential response to Iran’s attack on Israel’s Haifa oil refinery today: “You’ll see shortly.”"
What happened to the negotiation progress claims from 3 hours ago?
[+10] u/Fkn1v1mem8: That sell off this morning was unreal. Signs of things to come. Market is trying to generate more exit liquidity. Good luck retards
[+10] u/BFox1982: Your mom gives iron dome
[+10] u/Snowman33001: Someone told me “it was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”
And I stopped being gay
[+10] u/afishinacar: Hard to be bullish when any news about Iran can tank the market in an instant. It'll be nice to see the +7% day when this all gets resolved in 2028 assuming i don't get drafted and die.
[+10] u/DealNormal8505: jpow literally tried to prop this shit up for 0 reason. extremely lame. he was not so kind to brandon
[+10] u/Dumb__Money: That is a massive bull trap!!
[+10] u/Internal_Field5970: This is a proper fucking
[+10] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: #why are you at Disney Lindsey graham 🧐🤨
[+10] u/EnvironmentLong4187: DON’T YOU PATHETIC CHILDREN UNDERSTAND THIS ISN’T “BUY THE DIP,” THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF A FULL-BLOWN BEAR MARKET. CAPE IS AT ALL-TIME HIGHS, VALUATIONS ARE INSANE, AND THE BUBBLE IS ABOUT TO BURST.
YOU REALLY THINK THIS JUST BOUNCES BACK? THIS DOESN’T SEE THESE LEVELS AGAIN FOR A DECADE. LIQUIDITY IS DRYING UP, EVERYTHING IS OVERLEVERAGED, AND THE WHOLE THING IS ABOUT TO UNWIND.
BUT SURE, KEEP BUYING THE DIP LIKE IT’S 2021. FOOLS.
[+10] u/No_Fig_7835: I'm sure boots on the ground is going to go super smooth and we will have the strait secured in no time.
[+10] u/Porcupinesolos: People on a lot of margin are absolutely fucked
[+10] u/BerryExpress: ahh yes its your weekly monday manipulation time folks
[+10] u/iswearnotagain10: Lol sorry 🥭, can’t even move the price of oil by a dollar anymore. Nobody believes him anymore
[+10] u/LostandConfused2024: How the fuck is that message bullish? Bro said he’s going to cause destruction if it doesn’t go his way LMAO
[+10] u/Voenker: >if the Hormuz Strait is not immediately “Open for Business,” we will conclude our lovely “stay” in Iran by blowing up and completely obliterating all of their Electric Generating Plants, Oil Wells and Kharg Island (and possibly all desalinization plants!)
Oh shit
[+10] u/vwboyaf1: What did you expect? Retail buyers get their paychecks this week, and they've been itching to buy this dip.
[+10] u/chuastan: It’s up and down. But I personally feel he knows he fucked it big time. I’m betting he corrects course
[+10] u/Revolver_Lanky_Kong: Market pumping on a deal Iran and Pakistan made lmao this shit is so stupid man
[+10] u/Mother___Night: Maybe we'll make a deal, maybe we won't, maybe go fuck yourself.
[+10] u/dbgtboi: This is literally the dumbest war to ever happen in history
All Iran has to fukken do is deposit a few billion into one of the 🥭 many crypto scams and it will be ended overnight
It's a small price to pay
[+10] u/smart_doge: My port in the start of 2026: $0
My port at the end of Q1 26: $0,000,000
[+10] u/teh_herper: #What happened to WSB members being autists, is this not a thing anymore
[+10] u/probably-ck: Lmao at the guy who just said he will wait 10 mins after opening to buy puts
[+10] u/One-Signature-2706: Hope you enjoyed the 30 minutes of movement. Now enjoy 6 hours of sideways until all your options expire
[+10] u/PocaMadre69: “Let’s RALLY spy straight up $2 for no reason because fuck it”
-the worst people alive
[+10] u/bakeonwakeup: I just want JPow to call mango a retard in his own subtle and dignified way
[+10] u/iAmGrimTV: RIP THE FUCKIN BANDAID OFF BITCH
[+10] u/smart_doge: Wanna hear a 2 word joke?
>!Free Market!<
[+10] u/CigInside: So Israel “initiated” the attack but won’t participate in any further stuff and we just take over. This whole thing pretty fucky
[+10] u/jeffynihao: DJT: talks are going well. but if they don't go well, which is unlikely, then we got other plans, but that won't happen.
also we will blow up all your shit if talks don't go well, which wont happen, but just saying.
[+10] u/Evander85: Spy pumping but the horse 💩 stocks I own still down 8-12%
[+10] u/Queasy_Soil9646: Now we are looking at tweets from an iranian retard instead of an american retard. What a world we live in
[+10] u/Internal_Field5970: Fucking hedgies and JP Morgan
[+10] u/Dude_HaHa: # We're RED ❤❤❤ URA URA!!! 😎🐻
[+10] u/Historical_Bother274: Is it possible to build a reddit bot that comments lmao under every cocky bol comment from this morning?
[+10] u/Frosty_Promise8050: <<Taps the sign>> Oil prices.
[+10] u/EKUSUCALIBA: One of these days 🥭 will post something intended to pump, but it ends up doing the opposite..
[+10] u/HonestScar7176: God damn it why didn’t I buy more puts at open. I’m such a pussy
[+10] u/ConsiderationKey1658: How could a FIFA peace prize winner do this!?
[+10] u/poozyfloor: Short covering. Oil still moving up.
[+10] u/Concerned_Fanboy: theyre gonna lure yall in at open and drop this thing like a rock at 10
[+10] u/el-art-seam: He’s the top runner for the 26 FIFA Peace Prize. 🏆
[+10] u/KingRegardothe2nd: Threatening multiple war crimes is one savvy way to negotiate!
[+10] u/sun_tzu29: In hindsight, we should have seen the market manipulation coming
[+10] u/WingedScapula420: Time to play America’s favorite game, “Who Wants to be Exit Liquidity?”
[+10] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: 5 straight red weeks
today’s the day you fade the pump for the first time
but today’s pump is real, so you again, will be fuk
[+10] u/Soffatjockis: This pump is so fake not even the most regarded bulls should fall for it
[+10] u/SoloOutdoor: Ah yes another Trump and Dump
[+10] u/Idlehour_Knives: Spy down 7% ytd, ralies .24%
Morons: fuck yes to the moon
[+10] u/stonetrade: Someone tell 🥭 to sit his ass down and watch jpow live stream to learn how to speak like a man
[+10] u/roke34442: The market seems totally chaotic today. Futures looked great and then the market opened. The futures are regarded to be honest. I think I will sit this one out or at least have the patience to find a compulsive opportunity.
[+10] u/Sad-Substance8684: Bulls celebrating any and all spikes on 1minute charts that’s more than 0.01%. - Recession indicator
[+10] u/PulIthEld: You guys fall for it every. single. time.
[+10] u/42thefloor2011: All pops are sold off. Buying now is a retard's play
[+10] u/Bonkers119: The market is trading on Vibes today
[+10] u/UnivalveX: lmao powell really hit us with rates might go lower or higher
[+10] u/Accurate-Flow8078: How is the market still green LoL
[+10] u/necarpenter417: Do these Iranians even care about my portfolio?
[+10] u/ChinCheckUrFartBox: Im so sick of fucking winning.
[+10] u/WhiteCollllarCrime69: My calls are going to zerooooooo
#WHEWWWWWWWWWWW 🛼🛼
[+10] u/rollinhating: >“We don’t even know he’s in power. I know they say he’s in power. No one has seen him. No one has heard from him. It’s very opaque right now. It’s not quite clear how decisions are being made inside of Iran,” Rubio said.
So who is this Administration talking to?? ...
[+10] u/BarberQuarter: Listen to the press briefing, they're in talks with some faction that wants to seize power in Iran. They definitely don't have the approval of the new ayatollah.
[+10] u/Typical-Ad-8381: Shoulda just listen to Iran, bols, they told it was a gonna happen smh
[+10] u/NaturalFortune8397: 401k will be renamed 85k by midterms folks
it’s all part of the plan
[+10] u/East-Detective6697: # it sounded like last desperate bluff from him
[+10] u/TickTockTaudit: I’d love to take a peek at the parallel universe where she won the election. Hilariously, the biggest beneficiaries are probably American farmers. Oh, and all of our retirement accounts.
[+10] u/Cstooby: I think pretty much everyone knew this was gonna dump except for that one kid in the corner that is eating glue.
[+10] u/BrownBoiler: Probably will go to 630 at some point today
[+10] u/JohanLiebert92: taco retweeted an article called "iran war may prevent greater bloodshed"
and dumbos think this is gonna end soon lmaooooo
[+10] u/No-Improvement3164: 3 months to get 8% correction with the most regraded shit going on since Covid.
[+10] u/Revolver_Lanky_Kong: Jpow is going to come out sweaty, nervous, and disheveled. He will let out a whimpered "shits fucked..." then exit stage left. Mango will spend the afternoon tweeting that the guy who picked Powell is a massive retard that needs to be flayed.
[+10] u/Soffatjockis: Market makers shaking out puts under low volume.
It's a tale as old as time.
Only the weak young bers will fall for it. The strong old bers knows this is just fake n ghey.
[+10] u/trsx5: Damn, Iran really out here giving stock tips helping us average folk. Meanwhile, I can't get the potholes by my house filled.
[+10] u/Historical_Bother274: Okay bulls had their 6 hours of being cocky in the dailies again. Cya next week for the exact same scenario
[+10] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: talks are going great, might obliterate their whole nation late, idk lol
[+10] u/Rvin16: SPY playing floor is lava
[+10] u/mtol115: These candles are ridiculous
[+10] u/FrostingOk2692: some people made a lot of money in the last 30 minutes
[+10] u/hermeskino715: Jpow's speech:
Good morning, Harvard students. You're fucked.
[+10] u/patmccock86: Holy fuck JAIL BESSENT
[+10] u/patmccock86: It's fucking crazy to see these people all work in tandem to force a bullish narrative. Media + Fed + Pols all begging people to be positive and excited about a terrible situation.
[+10] u/Cold_Distribution273: Chart looking like an Iranian mountain range.
[+10] u/ConstantAd1: $6 gas is gonna rock the midterms
[+10] u/Yousoldmetohigh: Oil still rising... spy... still rising.
[+10] u/hermeskino715: Gotta give bols a valiant effort in trying today 👏 👏 👏
[+10] u/WendyDumpsterFire: We had a good thing, you stupid son of a bitch! We had Fring. We had a lab. We had everything we needed, and it all ran like clockwork. You could've shut your mouth, cooked and made as much money as you ever needed. It was perfect. But, no, you just had to blow it up. You and your pride and your ego! You just had to be the man. If you'd done your job, known your place, we'd all be fine right now.
[+10] u/nascarhero: This is the V!!! get in now! Generational buying opportunity! /s
[+10] u/hioman01: SPY -0.2%, port -15%
[+10] u/OrdinaryMix4013: taco going thru his list of lies to see what else sticks LMAO
[+10] u/bigboyvapesinc: this is a degenerate trade sub but seriously guys. take out your gains (if you somehow have any) and keep the cash. its not doomer to say shit is gonna get really bad, because this time there is actually something that can cause a recession
[+10] u/Spezalt4: #🥭 CUCKED BY IRANIAN PM ON MARKET MANIPULATION
[+10] u/trollboter: V went to the corner store for some milk, he will be right back!
[+10] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: I did this before and it made me 3 grand. 1 like and I’ll buy calls
[+10] u/thegreatgumbini: Calling it. 5 years from now if we haven't nuked ourselves out of existence:
>!New hit movie: The Big Short II: Iranian Boogaloo!<
[+10] u/RFKsBrainwormm: *leans in*
Sir a second strait has been closed
[+10] u/Internal_Field5970: Hi guys.
Don’t be retarded and fall for low volume
This is financial advice
[+10] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Bers continue to buy puts at the bottom. Idiots
[+10] u/Wall_St_Bussy: #i now have a concept of a retirement plan
[+10] u/liikenneaksioma: when the administration is way too obsessed with going to islands
[+10] u/smart_doge: The reason market hasn’t tanked yet is because I’m holding puts
[+10] u/Antique-Flight-5358: BTC dropping..here it comes
[+10] u/A_small_Chicken: Bring back Sleepy Joe. Literally doing nothing would have us SPY 8000
[+10] u/aaapod: BREAKING: Netanyahu announces he will deploy 100,000 sperms into 🥭🕳️
[+10] u/sonofalando: #PLEASE SHARE YOUR GREAT DEPRESSION RECIPES HERE 🫡🍞
[+10] u/sauronII: At this point all bull cases you read are either „he will tweet“ or „stonks always go up“.
Delulu.
[+10] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: There goes my plan to have 6 goth bitches on a yacht this summer
[+10] u/DFW_BjornFree: Sold my SPY puts 1 hour before market closed on Friday because I thought there was a chance we get a relief rally.
Will be looking to buy more puts between today and Wednesday.
~647 would be where I consider starting to build a position
[+10] u/Successful-End7689: My quant ghalibaf is telling me to not buy this morning pump
[+10] u/Wall_St_Bussy: You didn’t hold puts over the weekend again, did you?
[+10] u/Panacamana: Believe it or not.......puts
[+10] u/GrillAndChill420: If y’all had paid attention at biology, you would’ve known spring is when the bears wake up from hibernation. You stupid fucks.
[+10] u/corundum9: damn space really died
[+10] u/Czyzzle: I'm 95% cash and have no idea what to do. Can't even rationalize a thesis.
[+10] u/Detonate-Ralph: Bols don't realize how fucked are they, not even green monday is working anymore
[+10] u/thenakesingularity10: It's funny how people call each other stupid just because the market is going their direction for one day.
[+10] u/NoodHigga69: Market gets retardeder evey week
[+10] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: thank you abraham lincoln
[+10] u/WhiteCollllarCrime69: Puts on my landlord getting April rent
#LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[+10] u/Dude_HaHa: # Down Jones LMAO 😭😂
[+10] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: You can’t effectively remove 25% of the world’s energy capacity from the global market without a massive energy crisis.
Idk if markets are starting to realize this, but they will
[+10] u/burtburtburtcg: Bol actually thot tho
[+10] u/RollofDuctTape: If they made daycare free I’d have an extra $2500 a month to invest in options for my kid’s future.
[+10] u/LarsTarkas: Bussy bandit Bessent hasn't managed to get oil under $100
[+10] u/Excellent_Row8297: ONLY MAN-BEAR-PIG CAN SAVE US NOW
[+10] u/McKoijion: Lol Trump unsanctioned Iran's oil to keep oil prices from skyrocketing. Now he's threatening to destroy Kharg Island if Iran doesn't make a deal? I'm pressing X to doubt.
[+10] u/ihopethisworksfornow: Trump interested in calling on Arab states to help pay for Iran war, White House says - https://www.reuters.com/world/middle-east/trump-interested-calling-arab-states-help-pay-iran-war-white-house-says-2026-03-30/
Good Christ bro might be the dumbest human alive
Who needs to do stupid bullshit like maintaining international relationships? That’s lame. Bullying everyone is obviously the move.
[+10] u/kevinochino: Good bye retirement fund. Down 30 percent
[+10] u/ajibtunes: Futures were fake and gay werent they?
[+10] u/Revolutionary-Tax277: Have you guys not forgot about liberation day last year? Everyone is extremely bearish right now and vix is elevated. Taco man is going to taco somehow. This is going to be a repeat of last year
[+10] u/grimandnordic1: Iran has SPY puts fer sure
[+10] u/Careful_Response4694: My hinge conversations go better than these "great ceasefire talks"
[+10] u/Vaynard709: shit he might drop a nuke to stop people talking about the market
[+9] u/SighRamp: if you've been trading for the past month or so you know the drill when you see the pump...
[+9] u/Bubbly-Form-7059: I literally can’t shit without coffee
[+9] u/Colloquial: No matter what, there's still a significant portion of the population that believes this fucker
[+9] u/Fit-Doubt4251: Iran will attack U.S. on Good Friday just like how the U.S. attacked during Ramadan
[+9] u/---Right--Tackle---: Surely they’re really talking this time, like bigly for real
[+9] u/Solid-Season9984: Dude seriously again!?!? Im gonna take a vacation this shit is so stupid.
[+9] u/Les7X: I live in a timeline where the US pres blatantly lies about talking to another state government about a war and it's considered "normal"
[+9] u/Any-Camel-9913: situation getting worse week after week
will get even worse after troops go in
gotta keep shorting bounces
[+9] u/theduke9: How is orange mango gonna destroy my account this week
[+9] u/Level_Counter3062: If you loved rate cuts, you will love rate hikes
[+9] u/ThoseGelInsertThings: This is the thing with where the U.S. is at with the Iran conflict: In his latest threat, he says that he's going to destroy Iran's energy infrastructure if a deal isn't met soon.
They obviously don't care. If the U.S. continues to escalate, they'll just bomb more neighboring oil fields to send oil to $200/barrel +.
Have to *deescalate* the situation, dude.
[+9] u/I-IV-I64-V-I: what if 85% of our defense budget is just a racket / ponzi scheme selling 3500$ trashcans to make a few people rich? If the United states military had squandered it's lead for years and has no capacity to really fight drones or any 21st century countries.
[+9] u/Tay_Tay86: **Remember that robot from Cherynobyl that broke. All because they gave them the propoganda number.**
**Bessent is out here saying it's only a 10-12 million barrel deficit per day instead of the actual 20.**
**They are just giving us propaganda and not the truth. That's what the market is sniffing out**
[+9] u/saw-it: MSFT guiding the 10 ships or what
[+9] u/Gom_KBull: Hope bols have enough ice cubes to last the month
[+9] u/HonestScar7176: Donnie really fucked up here. All of his options are terrible aside from admitting he thought this would go different and getting out of Iran which he’s not gonna do.
[+9] u/Responsible-Rip8793: ***EVERY WEEK THE MARKET FALLS FOR THE SAME BULLSHIT. MARKET LOVES BEING LIED TO***
[+9] u/MasterpiecePurple302: So the Iranian guy was right?
[+9] u/RollofDuctTape: Cramer just called bottom and said time to buy
[+9] u/ConsiderationKey1658: Couldn’t even stay green for an hour
[+9] u/Ok_Persimmon9849: Wow JPow just flat out said "freak out and panic sell everything now it's over" can't believe he did that omg
[+9] u/ConsiderationKey1658: “you never know with Iran, we negotiate with them and then we always have to blow them up." - 🥭
Sounds like talks are going well… 📉📉📉
[+9] u/_Kenway: biggest mistake in modern military history to start a war in this scenario.
they warned about a possible Hormuz closure back in the 2025, no one took precautions or prepared a real plan to prevent that. They started a war with no clue of nothing despite multiple warnings almost a year before.
did the US military at least go to Westpoint or did they gradutate playing Call of Duty ? Very low IQ move here. This is not about the government, it's a complete disaster about intelligence.
[+9] u/Soffatjockis: This is the pump the buls were promised 3000 years ago.
Lol. Weak.
[+9] u/Any-Presentation5438: Market down! All my stocks are down
Market Up! 90% of my stocks are still down!
[+9] u/Queasy_Soil9646: It was all fun and memes electing 🥭 again till he started nuking the market
[+9] u/n1ck90z: it's more funny when it's someone else who is fucked
[+9] u/Bubbly-Form-7059: I just lost a whole paycheck
[+9] u/M1BG: when were you when ameripoors became poor?
i was a europoor in europe when phone ring
'ameri is poor'
'no'
[+9] u/PatrickSebast: Microsoft having one of its best days might close flat!
[+9] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: BREAKING: the market
[+9] u/mayorolivia: Qqq and SPY will go -3% once news of boots on the ground breaks
[+9] u/ShittyUsernane1222: the stock market is still on perma-bull mode.
In a few hours trading might go from easy to dark souls once US bond yields go up lmao.
[+9] u/Bravadette: BREAKING
3500 Year Old Sanskrit Inscription discovered on Kharg Island translated:
"(This) land was a barren land with no burgers; (I) brought happiness and welfare, MUR'CA. Thank you for your attention to this matter."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Achaemenid_inscription_on_Kharg_Island
[+9] u/A55BAG: Stock futures are calling TACO
Oil futures are calling FAFO
[+9] u/No-Improvement3164: Earnings Guidance for this earnings season will be “investors just watch for TWEETS and make your decision based upon those”.
😂🤡🤡🤡
[+9] u/guhhhh_MU: I bought some really nice steaks for my gf and I the other night. She said you must be doing well in the market. She doesn't understand that when I'm losing as much as I am the $ for steaks isn't a huge deal. Perspective matters.
[+9] u/LasyKuuga: I dont even pretend to understand anymore
[+9] u/RelegatedRick: The shit slinging high singing bulls who’ve screeched and vomited all over the thread all morning have shut the fuck up quick huh 😭
[+9] u/Normal-Phase-1252: i lost si much money in 10min
[+9] u/_Fibbles_: I've seen enough, close the casino
[+9] u/rebel-capitalist: Iran guy was fucking right, fucking do the opposite
[+9] u/Locke_____Lamora: God damn april 17 atm qqq puts are 14 bucks
[+9] u/Detonate-Ralph: 📩 New mail for bols
>!YOU WERE EXIT LIQUIDITY 🫵🏻🤡!<
[+9] u/Defiant-Fee-7550: AI bubble popping right now. We're witnessing history RN boys 🤏😟💨
[+9] u/Brawlerz16: Jpow: Yeah we completely recovered from 2022 COVID but something weird happened in 2024.
[+9] u/knoqd_: We’re relying on MSFT and META to keep SPY green
It’s so over
[+9] u/financiallythriving: BREAKING: My mental state
[+9] u/DealNormal8505: first the trump manipulation failed, then the jpow manipulation failed, now carolines will fail too and we will bigly crash to -1% today. each fraudster is a tier lower than the last in terms of power level
[+9] u/Normal-Phase-1252: americans just love to fuck up everything
[+9] u/beng5007: At least he's good on the economy
[+9] u/hodl_poke_stay_calm: Historically some of the largest rallies to happen during bear markets
[+9] u/Itchy_Election_5327: can iran just hack the wh streaming and release mango's sex tape live
[+9] u/FartPolluter: If AYRAN doesnt open the Hormuz IMADIATLYi will shit my PANTS on Sean Hannity with such Epic FURY you wont believe
[+9] u/AP123123123: This is just going to spiral down, we didn't even get a dead cat bounce
[+9] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: I love the reality checks I get from my roommate after spending all day in here. He's aware that we are in conflict with Iran, but he is completely unaware of any meaningful details, like he has never heard of Kharg Island before and only learned about the Strait of Hormuz for the first time last week. He just doesn't go to places on the internet where geopolitics is discussed and his consumption algorithms don't feed him info due to his lack of interest, so he just...doesn't know.
Who needs authoritative top-down censorship when you have this?
[+9] u/ismebbb: Whatever happens today, no crying in the casino
[+9] u/ShittyUsernane1222: the US president bankrupted multiple casinos and you are bullish.
[+9] u/gomper: What a weird 🥭 tweet. Part taco part threat/bluff. At least it didn't flush the little dead cat thing we got going here
[+9] u/Neel_Crashkari: Best dead cat bounce anyone's ever seen. Some say the greatest
[+9] u/jackpearson2788: Truly amazing how algos are constantly deluded into believing lies and I’m expected to believe AI is the future 😂🫣
[+9] u/Bravadette: How do I mute all spacex ipo bots pre emptively
[+9] u/Molten-Helldiver: I guess that Iran dude was right….it opened red, we did the opposite, now it’s green…*for now*
[+9] u/TheBlueBlaze: > The United States of America is in serious discussions with A NEW, AND MORE REASONABLE, REGIME to end our Military Operations in Iran. Great progress has been made but, if for any reason a deal is not shortly reached, which it probably will be, and if the Hormuz Strait is not immediately “Open for Business,” we will conclude our lovely “stay” in Iran by blowing up and completely obliterating all of their Electric Generating Plants, Oil Wells and Kharg Island (and possibly all desalinization plants!), which we have purposefully not yet “touched.”...
I honestly don't get how anyone buys this. If the regime has changed, why are they doing the same shit the old regime would have done? If the talks are going well, why still threaten to blow up their infrastructure? Why destroy their infrastructure as a *departure* move?
It seems obvious this is tough talk meant to maintain support of the war and pretend it's almost over even as it drags on with no progress.
[+9] u/ilchymis: IREN is down from people trying to buy puts on IRAN
[+9] u/ShittyUsernane1222: JPOW's speech will be one massive advertisement to buy puts lmao.
[+9] u/turtleadvocate: wait yall have jobs?
[+9] u/I-IV-I64-V-I: i follow a guy on twitter who has been larping as an Iranian military leader and gmailing the white house. asking for a ceasefire.
He has gotten emails back from the white house.
[I just wanted to share this with yall because it's been sending me. i hope its real it would be so funny](https://x.com/0xRacist/status/2038615943178539519)
[+9] u/IslandExact429: That 11:05am spike kinda fucked me up
[+9] u/Colloquial: Bols next week will be cheering 626
[+9] u/According-Page8618: so if spy ends today at +2%. tomorrow at +2% and wednesday at +2% and ends at 674 im still red.
i think im fuuked lol
[+9] u/Philthatman: Gay this, straight that. Wheres my bisexual homies who trade on vibes?
[+9] u/RollofDuctTape: I thought 🥭 said we were close to a deal. Like they agreed to 14 of the 15 demands. Now he wants to blow up their water treatment facilities and cause a global humanitarian crisis? The 15th thing must be really important.
[+9] u/ten7four: Remember the simpler days when we just put our life savings in shiny rocks and fake meat? Take me back bros...
[+9] u/ismebbb: There are memecoins more stable than spy
[+9] u/Soffatjockis: This isn't over until spy is at 500.
Perhaps even lower than that depending on the fallout when everything falls apart.
[+9] u/Leaguefizzics: Perfect re entry for more puts
[+9] u/natelifts: But puts before Jerome speaks at 10:30 EST, thank me later!
[+9] u/Fineous400: I won the second paper trading competition, like 3 accounts ago. It was an awesome experience I’ll never forget!
[+9] u/KlBAS: Fidelity just called me and the guy just laughed his ass off and then hung up
[+9] u/jroache: Alright im fuckin done and you should be too. There is open maniuplation happening in plain fucking site. Spy is pinned rn at 636 because theres a person with a 25k order that wont let it get past 635-636. Im done giving them my money. We are at fucking war, oil is 101 a barrel, the market should be blood fucking red, the puts should be an easy play and the people buying them are supposed to make money on the down side. Thats how this shit is supposed to work. Dont play their fucking game!
[+9] u/Interesting_Leg8859: # UR EITHER GAY OR UR NOT, THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN
[+9] u/Neel_Crashkari: You are witnessing global financial collapse in real-time
[+9] u/twistnblaze: taco tweet the last 2 mondays at 7:30 et this shit is too predictable
[+9] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: So we take Kharg island. Then what? Ships still cant get through the narrow part of the straight, which is like 400 miles away.
[+9] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: If by some strange string of luck I find myself in a foxhole with one of you lovely retards, I like my ass pounded slow and steady, like love making. Dont jack hammer me.
[+9] u/Urzuck: Lmao Gabagool the iranian Pm was right to inverse futes
[+9] u/RelegatedRick: It’s quite funny to see bols not even defend themselves and just quietly commenting a singular “V” from their wife’s boyfriend’s iPad
[+9] u/Typical-Ad-8381: Bols blew up 1% lead in an hour, impressive
[+9] u/NaturalFortune8397: guys my uncle said trumps playing 5d chess with this whole invasion thing
$7 a gallon for gas is all part of the plan
you just have to trust him
[+9] u/Xzlk: Ah so turns out oil ripping the entire morning was in fact not bullish for the market
[+9] u/Dude_HaHa: # Relief rally: OBLITERATED
# Mission: FAILED
[+9] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: "What's in it for us"
NONE OF US KNOW MARCO WHY ARE WE DOING THIS
[+9] u/heavycone_12: boy I seem to remember a lot of noise from the bols earlier today.
[+9] u/Historical_Bother274: President Trump interested in calling on Arab states to help pay for Iran war: White House
White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt says President Donald Trump would be interested in calling on Arab countries to pay for the cost of the Iran war.
Maybe we can ask the WH to pay for all the lost gains?
[+9] u/hv876: SPX down 6% from the time 🥭 said he thought market would be worse.
[+9] u/Disc0Disc0Disc0: Didnt a guy from the regime yesterday said not to believe Trump and fall for the manipulation?
[+9] u/nascarhero: Hey gullibols, I made the best deal with Iran, we’re all good now. Go ahead and pump it.
[+9] u/Neel_Crashkari: MM's will never pump pre market just to dump at open.
Against the rules
[+9] u/Yousoldmetohigh: They're eating our dogs!
[+9] u/No-Insurance100: Bears: looking at real world economic indicators to see how fukked everything is
Bulls: praying for a statement from a daddy figure (🥭, JPOW) to give them a pump
[+9] u/Frosty_Promise8050: Honestly, we haven't hit capitulation. A lot more downside still possible.
[+9] u/Subject_Delay5447: Instead of making Arab countries pay for the war, can we just have them cover my losses instead?
[+9] u/RFKsBrainwormm: Good morning retards, are you Bols going to fall for this shit every Monday? Tacos are bad for you
[+9] u/financiallythriving: Boobs on the ground soon
[+9] u/odetolucrecia: We americans hae spent a lot of money on defense. Some of you younger people can see the numbers, but some older people REMEMBER whats been going down in their lifetimes. If you believe the narrative they have been telling us since the 80's, then there is NO way we can lose in a war against iran, no way, because of how much money we have dumped in to defense. They have been asking for and getting a lot. After 9/11 they got even more than money, and they have been putting us through it so we wouldn't have to worry about a enemy like iran, according to them................................So if you believed their narratives until now, hering them talk about this conflict is very confusing indeed.
[+9] u/ihopethisworksfornow: When I tell ChatGPT to name itself based on its “personality” (customization prompts), it gives me this long winded response about its backstory and how its name that it picked is so perfect and fitting
When I do the same with Claude, you know what it said?
>We’ll go with Hank. It’s a solid no-nonsense name. Hank shows up, gets it done. Hank doesn’t need a backstory.
OpenAI is fucked
[+9] u/Remarkable_Owl: ITS ALL UP FROM HERE ZERO RISK WAR IS OVER SAY THANK YOU
[+9] u/GME_fan: People are waiting for 🥭 to taco like these are tariffs announcements. Bottom isn't even close by
[+9] u/spumpadiznik: Bersolidation before the next leg down
[+9] u/According-Page8618: my for fun MU puts i bought on earnings and im still holding them are up 860%, sadly only put in 200$ lol
[+9] u/AlasKansastan: We ready for some impeachment yet?
[+9] u/alldawgsgotoheaven2: We just hired a dude named Boo Kakee smh
[+9] u/Character-Issue1788: Fed rate cut pause + oil at $115 is the actual bear thesis that doesn't get enough attention.
Historically when energy spike is supply-driven (Hormuz) rather than demand-driven, the Fed can't cut without risking entrenching inflation. That's the stagflation trap. 1970s playbook not 2020.
Insider buying in energy names (XOM, CVX execs accumulating over last 3 weeks per SEC disclosures) vs insider selling in tech suggests smart money sees the energy shock as prolonged not transient. Futures contango through 2027 says the same.
Bullish energy/defense. Cautious on rate-sensitive tech until Hormuz fully reopens.
[+9] u/surmoiFire: so wen DDR5 price crash like MU?
[+9] u/ripcord51: this "leadership of Iran" you are speaking to, is it in the room with us right now?
[+9] u/ziggyho: Man for all the bulls saying bears hate America sure are having a hard time buying
[+9] u/McKoijion: > “The Dow is over 50,000 right now,” Bondi said in sworn testimony before the House Judiciary Committee after Rep. Jerrold Nadler, D-N.Y., slammed her and the Department of Justice for the lack of indictments of possible co-conspirators of the convicted sex predator Epstein.
https://www.cnbc.com/2026/02/11/trump-pam-bondi-hearing-stock-epstein-judiciary-dow.html
Lol the Dow is 10% lower than it was when she said that last month.
[+9] u/wasifaiboply: If you need some guidance on how to interpret JPow's latest words just look to what Ben Bernanke was saying in March 2008 alongside Jim "Bear Sterns Is Fine" Cramer.
In short, we're fucked.
🌈🐻⏰️
[+9] u/SerialStrategist: My penis is micro + soft.
[+9] u/jeffynihao: Trump needs to stop following up "talks are going great" with we will blow up your shit if Strait remains closed
[+9] u/TheRootOfMostEvil: Mass liquidation incoming. Don’t hold too tight to your losers. Leveraged positions will get closed. Panic ensues. Don’t be caught left holding the bag
[+9] u/A55BAG: ngl this is the ghayest market I've ever witnessed.
[+9] u/falling_knives: Charles Schwab is running a technical analysis workshop. Are they regarded or what?
[+9] u/Educational-Cat-2553: still boggles me how you bankrupt a casino
[+9] u/Les7X: The vicepresident of the US said that he thinks UFOs are actually "demons" and he pledges to go to the bottom of this matter during his time left in charge. Let that sink in.
Meanwhile there's a war going on, disrupting the global markets and economies
[+9] u/rkillaaa: oh brother this guy STINKS
[+9] u/the-revenge-trader: 200% profit in 10 mins
[+9] u/jeffynihao: My calls lost 84% today and I'm still holding like a dumbass thinking it still has a chance. I'm such a fuxkimg idiot
[+9] u/jdohyeah: Good work to those who bought puts at open
[+8] u/Capt_Chickenpox: Ah yes, risking 1200, to make 70. Always nice
[+8] u/The_AMD_Guy: I am so fucking broke. Thanks Trump
[+8] u/iFiredIce: Port hittin all time lows but brain hittin all time highs
[+8] u/jlw993: Is this the 5th or 6th green Monday into a red week?
[+8] u/godsweetsac: My 636 p is still red fuck you IV.
[+8] u/paralogistic: you could tell me tomorrows closing price and i'd still find a way to lose money
[+8] u/WendyDumpsterFire: This shit is gonna tank isn’t it
[+8] u/piszczel: Does the market know that it's open
[+8] u/Helpful-Weekend-2224: Keep buying puts. The turn is coming
[+8] u/Warmake: Announcing your war crimes to the world, how nice.
[+8] u/Specialist_Fig9458: It shouldn’t be buy when others are fearful it should be buy when others are depressed. The second you start seeing people just totally giving up is when you go all in
[+8] u/Fhyzikz: The key is to have 2 accounts. All in calls in 1 all in puts in the other. Can't go tits up
[+8] u/Scallion00: This shit be moving so slow
[+8] u/General-Gap4158: He destroyed the global economy not just the stock market , What a legend !
[+8] u/QuantrixQuintrix: imagine if you bought puts.
[+8] u/Independent-Tree-985: > The United States of America is in serious discussions with A NEW, AND MORE REASONABLE, REGIME
The way I drink water his pours lies
[+8] u/Patient-Shopping-236: Why are we up? I bought puts Friday
[+8] u/brute-forced: At this point, if you believe all these lies you are deserving of your losses
[+8] u/IslandExact429: “Heads-up: Pre-market so-called “news” or “Truth” is often just a setup for profit-taking. Basically, it’s a reverse indicator.
Do the opposite: If they pump it, short it. If they dump it, go long.
See something tomorrow? You know the drill.”
- LMFAO
[+8] u/Creative-Package6213: 🤣🤣 Every pump is fake
[+8] u/hioman01: MU drops 30% in 8 trade days LMAO
[+8] u/R3dFiveStandingBye: Strategy stopped buying BTC lmao, good luck refinancing that debt Michael
[+8] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Got damn I need a fucking relief rally of 100%
[+8] u/Recent_Register_2952: furiously masturbating the pain away
[+8] u/Local_0DTE_Dealer: I love looking through the daily thread and seeing not a single braindead bol who was talking shit about green futes last night and this morning
Get absolutely rekt you drooling retards
[+8] u/LasyKuuga: Market as real as a strippers love
[+8] u/Knarre30: So real US Soldiers get hurt/ die during this mission. Their are ongoinig agressions against the US millitary and danger for these soldiers. And 🌮 talks about "deals" and good "talks". This is such an dishonorable action against those people he has put in danger.
[+8] u/twostroke1: What’s really stopping Iran from opening up the largest leveraged call in the history of the stonk market, announce they are fully backing down and accepting defeat, and profit.
Then just go right back to what they were doing the next day?
[+8] u/btw1217: Quick! Buy calls before it drops!
[+8] u/Concerned_Fanboy: plunge protection team finally giving it up.
bleed ALLLLLL day from here
[+8] u/Worth_Transition5188: Plunge protection team is here
[+8] u/Blackhole_sun81: The ONLY silver lining today is that TSLA is red
[+8] u/Ok-Thought-9960: I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!
[+8] u/_Fibbles_: Is it still insider trading if you telegraph your moves to the entire world?
[+8] u/TheMightySet69: Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf is right. Always inverse Mango premarket news.
[+8] u/FabulousLanguage6216: Remember guys. Good Friday on Friday so stock market closed
[+8] u/livingiice: That deadcat bounce lasted less than 1 minute
[+8] u/jroache: Did everyone buy spy puts
[+8] u/PocaMadre69: In any sane world we’d incarcerate all the folks responsible for all these irrational and fraudulent pumps
Everyone knows they’re not genuine they’re just propping the market up
Shameful
[+8] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: Nice oil pump you got there. Be a shame if Scott Bessent YEETED it
[+8] u/Misrabligen: I wonder when "the big one" will happen, when shit really hits the fan, might still be months away
[+8] u/ServoFFXI: I went from a profitable MU investor to Wendy's potential new hire within a single week.
[+8] u/LasyKuuga: # OH SHIT WERE ACTUALLY GONNA END RED TODAY
# BULLS COME OUT PLEASE I JUST WANNA LAUGH AT YOU😭
[+8] u/Gullible_Ad3785: The bears found a way
[+8] u/Open_Waltz6902: Gotta give props to the underdog Iran for humbling 🥭
[+8] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Cmon spy give us that juicy -2% day
[+8] u/mrsweettreats: i was watching fox news, they were talking about how we are progressing through this conflict earlier than expected, then i noticed something...
the ticker was actually gone
[+8] u/claytondpark: I usually don't say this, although we haven't seen technical capitulation, mkt sentiment is way TOO bearish rn...
[+8] u/aaryan_a: This is not something you can just TACO out of unfortunately. He's bitten off way more than he can chew. Iran can just keep the strait closed out of spite and oil infrastructure which takes years to build has been destroyed. This is terrible in the long run, will accelerate inflation, keep interest rates high, and lead to a recession.
[+8] u/Single-Adeptness-769: Scott Bessent lying to the American people again, lovely.
[+8] u/BeepBoopDep: Bulls literally fell for it again 😂
[+8] u/Successful-End7689: Supposedly Iran told Rubio they want to slap a $2M toll just to pass through the strait and he basically told them to fuck off
People really underestimating how batshit crazy Iran is
[+8] u/Apple2o: Economic winter is coming
[+8] u/ten7four: We actually need a black swan event for the market to go up now
[+8] u/Colloquial: "Can no longer afford food?" was directed to bols holy hell
[+8] u/wildcrab9: Stay green until open so I can sell. Shit is gonna go down faster than yo momma
[+8] u/__nameless____: This thread just shows too much put holders around here, it's definitely going up
[+8] u/Appropriate-Run-7490: Smells like market manipulation this morning
[+8] u/BillyShears2015: We're going down, down in an earlier round
And sugar, we're going down swinging
[+8] u/TightMeasurement3158: 🥭 lies can no longer save the market. It is well and truly over
[+8] u/GTS980: Somehow, my entire port is green. It's a trap.
[+8] u/iAmGrimTV: Drill team six will be conducting special operations this morning
[+8] u/jasperCrow: Let’s be fr. We’re probably going below 600 before this is all said and done.
[+8] u/Shoddy_Ad897: So many of you are going to have your ports nuked next month.
[+8] u/brostrummer: Like clockwork, 🥭 announces a fake deal with Iran on Mondays, to rig the markets and people actually fall for it. Puts for tomorrow.
[+8] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Holy shit I’m suing mango wtf is this shit
[+8] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: dont worry i bought few puts. your calls are safe now guys
[+8] u/LegendsoftheHT: Just saw a pair of bulls swimming in the Strait of Hormuz hit a mine.
[+8] u/ddrsdght: My only comfort is knowing that people in other counties are struggling more than me
[+8] u/night_shredder: The floor of today is the ceiling of tomorrow. Now repeat for the next two weeks. SPY 580.
[+8] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: Boomer: "I'm sure the worst is over and this is definitely the bottom. Time to drain the rest of my retirement savings to buy the dip, again"
Wait until companies have to post their earnings from an energy crisis, or reveal how many people they laid off to keep their earnings from sucking too hard.
[+8] u/CrustyMcNutty: I look forward to more financial advice from Iran. This is not financial advice.
[+8] u/davidbigham: Just close the market and open the weekend thread already
[+8] u/Previous_Hope_2087: The moral of today’s story is don’t be a greedy pig.
[+8] u/2020isgreat: Bulls blaming 🥭 for their own retarded decisions is the funniest shit
[+7] u/postachioo: Jerome “close that fucking door” Powell
[+7] u/tombrady011235: There's no real reason to be a cowboys fan
[+7] u/sergechewbacca: The Iranian dude was right
[+7] u/civillyRange: Even my news ticker is throwing up air quotes on🥭's announcements
Deal will "probably" be reached LMAO
[+7] u/FartPolluter: The TACO was basically *yup peace tomorrow but we might just extend this out to 2028 anyways*
[+7] u/MadHat0815: It's waaay too bullish in here, haven't you guys learned from the last few weeks?
[+7] u/optionsmaster42069: My father in law who truly has no idea what the hell he is doing bought XLE calls expiring 4/17 and is up 600% rn. Ignorance truly is bliss, the less you know, the better you do.
[+7] u/GoogleKushforLunch: This not looking too good
[+7] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: I love how bulls make fun of bears for predicting 100 out of every 1 crashes but they're doing THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING with the end of this war
[+7] u/momsickle: Bears in disbelief that the market doesn’t go down in a straight line
[+7] u/ring_of_slattern: Okay wait so we’re pumping because 🥭 said we’re going to blow up Iran’s oil infrastructure? Would that not ensure the strait remains effectively closed indefinitely, regardless of whether or not the invasion ends?
[+7] u/Pereise1: Oil, spy, and metals up? Something's not right here lol.
[+7] u/noahmfs: No one believes 🥭 anymore LOL
[+7] u/PocaMadre69: Both these rallies in the last hour have been clinically insane
[+7] u/SZJX: This time it must be real, right?
[+7] u/Soossaaaa: # ⚠️⚠️⚠️ IRAN HAS DROPPED FALAFEL ON ISRAEL ⚠️⚠️⚠️
[+7] u/cheetles_plus: Oil up, I guess that Iranian guy was right
[+7] u/Equivalent-Quail138: If market conditions continue to worsen, I'm going to have to reach into the sock drawer and deploy my strategic reserve of $2 bills
[+7] u/NotMe357: "IRAN SETS HARD LINE ON HORMUZ TALKS
Iran’s First Vice Presiden Mohammad Reza Aref said negotiations over the Strait of Hormuz will only happen if adversaries pledge not to invade and recognize Iran’s international rights.
Echoing combative rhetoric, he added that Iran’s opponents are now “begging” for talks after the waterway was effectively shut to commercial shipping."
[+7] u/Competitive-Water944: SPY $500p. I know what I got
[+7] u/Previous_Hope_2087: I mean maybe calls here for tomorrow wouldn’t be a terrible play…
[+7] u/Happy-Philosophy9211: OMG bomb threats and DIRECT STRIKES? Sounds like a healthy and bullish market! LONG SPY! /s
[+7] u/HonestScar7176: Mango straight up lying and people believe it lolololol
[+7] u/Jeremy1013: at most 630 eod or im cooked bro
[+7] u/EnvironmentLong4187: It's so silly when traders believe that whether everyone is bearish or bullish affects the situation. Even if everyone is bearish, it won't open the Strait of Hormuz. The strait stays closed, and the bears are right when we move into a recession and year-end earnings get repriced.
[+7] u/guhhhh_MU: Mr. Stark I don't feel so good
[+7] u/spellbadgrammargood: >As Iran war hits 30-day mark, White House says 4-6 week mission timeline still in play
And some of you fuckers think he reverses and works with Iran
[+7] u/MoMeanMugs: Was up $100k to down $5k for the year. Am I winning yet?
[+7] u/jraiv420: Not buying calls till suicide hotline is pinned is the play
[+7] u/QuartersToPlay: JUST DROP WHY ARE YOU TEASING
[+7] u/davidbigham: 401K soon to be 4.01K
[+7] u/Spezalt4: Latest 🥭 Truth is fake and ghey. No I haven’t read what it is. I just know
[+7] u/Acrobatic-Lead-3700: Did we win the war over Iran again ? Did we destroyed 170% of their weapons and capabilities ?
[+7] u/Thebaxxxx: Is your wife really hot and rich with no discernable job history? Theres a chance her chest was shat on at some point, just sayin
[+7] u/Tay_Tay86: I just want to give a big shout out to our premarket bulls. I couldn't have scalped puts without you
🤌
[+7] u/Me-Regarded: Poor bol, you really thought (I'm bol)
[+7] u/According-Page8618: nasdaq closed the gap, maybe thats enough for spy to pump
[+7] u/TheNobodyThere: Talked to a buddy over the weekend who is stationed in the middle east.
He is sure that they will invade Kharg this week.
He is also convinced that the attack will be shitshow and fully expects to die.
I'm out of market until that happens.
[+7] u/leeuwvanvlaanderen: Nobody cares but apparently the Admin has started redirecting money European nations paid for Ukrainian arms to efforts to replenish US arms and putting deliveries we paid for on the backburner.
That’s just theft. Might as well plop every cent into Leonardo and Rheinmetall.
[+7] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: we goin downdowndown it'our momeeent 🧸🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈
[+7] u/JohanLiebert92: why is this piece of shit shreking?
[+7] u/OkResponsibility2470: Spy going flaccid at 638
[+7] u/Ahthongkorkor: how is tech getting slaughtered so hard everyday jesus christ
[+7] u/Cutalana: This market hates everyone lol
[+7] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost
/u/cryptohorn made a bet that SPY would go to 0.0 within **1 week** when it was 648.419 and it did not, so they were banned for a week.
Their record is now 2 wins and 12 losses
[**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse)
[+7] u/Yousoldmetohigh: Bah! Had 637 puts this morning and sold for a 10% gain.
[+6] u/AstronautPossible374: 🥭 sits when he pees!!!!
[+6] u/Aggressive_Bit_91: Come on give me that sweet corruption tweet
[+6] u/Eddyrancid: I'm not a war-lawyer, but intentionally destroying all of an arid nations desalination plants feels a little war-crimey
[+6] u/KlBAS: What a fuck you candle at open
[+6] u/HookedOnBoNix: Surely this time 🥭 isn't full of shit
Surely this is the time
[+6] u/Valkorion335786: Lots of war experts in here
[+6] u/QuantrixQuintrix: I refuse to buy puts I don’t give af
[+6] u/Upset-Motor-2602: You want to be short, but shit like this keeps you from doing it.
[+6] u/Cstooby: Algos love 🥭. He still hasn't cried wolf enough for them to update their reaction to what he says.
[+6] u/smart_introvert: Turns out Iran's parliment speaker is right
[+6] u/ProudestPeasant: what's propping this up
[+6] u/mugirawraw: My September calls are down 25% 🤦
[+6] u/TheGeoGod: 800k to 675k from the peak 😢
[+6] u/Inevitable_Estate459: Bers getting rug pulled by a random Iranian guy on Twitter that pretends to know anything about negotiations betweem Iran and the US.
[+6] u/MrsEveryShot: just noticed our office changed toilet paper to the 1-ply sandpaper type.
layoffs incoming?
[+10] u/Lapidated_Llama: 🥭 was funny until he started fucking up my retirement.
[+10] u/elvee61: I can't afford to lose my job. I wouldn't be able to buy meth and puts.
[+9] u/Burger_Gouger: Bols somehow in euphoria and led straight to the meat grinder in record time
[+9] u/michaelis999: not even a pathetic TACO will save these subhuman buls
[+9] u/Pazzaaaaaa: Oil spiking again. Let me guess, zero of the “20 ships” have gone through today
[+9] u/Odd_Papaya8305: Lost 10k chasing calls like a dumb ass I wanna die…
[+9] u/thrillho145: Bring back Biden's market
[+9] u/voidedhip: Woke up. Saw green. Bought 1DTE puts, back to bed. Wake up again, up 50%, sell. Thanks ayatollah
[+8] u/jonlmbs: Market no longer reacts to president tweets
[+8] u/mannycalls24: Only fools thought today would close green… I’m an absolute clown 🤡
[+8] u/analgape4206969: Well that candle fucked my puts, good thing theyre for a few days out
[+8] u/TreeofLibertyFood: 🥭 rap name is the 401Killa
[+8] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: MSFT and META holding this shit up best they can
[+7] u/AdditionalMany1292: “This is fine”.exe deployed
[+7] u/Harp-Note: We're in a ber market when the threads gets meaner lol
[+7] u/Best_Sherbert_9481: I’m actually losing my damn mind with this shit
[+7] u/kodaksdad2020: 87% cash gang right now. Feels good
[+7] u/Jeff_xx: Let me confirm with my Iranian buddy about this pump
[+7] u/ALittleWorseEveryday: Pee is stored in the balls
[+7] u/Retaining-Wall: Thanks a lot Amenhotep III.
[+7] u/Grey-59throwaway: Can we just restart and say SPY is at $1?
[+6] u/cbusoh66: 🥭hates to appear weak in front of the media, so when a reporter asked him "did Iran agree to your plans and make any concessions", he of course is not going to say no or we're still negotiating or anything that sounds weak, so what does he say?
"Yeah they gave us everything, why wouldn't they"?
Here's the actual exchange on AF1
https://x.com/business/status/2038437524800958684?s=20
Bloomberg then ran with the headline that Iran has accepted 15 points plan and algos can't tell truth from friction, so we pump for now.
[+14] u/inconsistentsavant: Pretty sure it’s a war crime.
[+13] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: the fact mods are there tells you everything
[+10] u/arkeus1: COWARDS STOP SELLING!!
[+10] u/Pale-Silver-8178: Made $15 today
No daddy's money, no insider trading, just the grind paying off!
[+10] u/Axonum: Panic and sell everything
[+10] u/miata_only: Much like Hormuz, Futures are strait and not gay.
[+10] u/pinghing: Hi guys
Buy weeklies
This is financial abuse
[+10] u/ForcesEqualZero: Lol bols thought premarket was real.
[+10] u/Wsbmodisgay: LMAO BULLS SO COCKY IN PREMARKET 😂
[+10] u/Anfield_Cowboy: Oil will be free if they keep letting 20 ships through.
[+10] u/spurious_elephant: Bol will get a V soon, sadly for bol it stands for Veal
[+10] u/purpleinme: NVDA hasn’t been this low since July 14th. Thanks Donald, you dumb fuck.
[+10] u/Top-Sir-1215: I’m done buying scam companies. If it’s over 30 pe I’m not buying
[+10] u/pen15_club_admin: IT WAS JUST A PRANK BRO - 🍊
[+10] u/Ok_Vacation_7537: I’m definitely not fat and balding
[+10] u/pumpkin1986: All weekend I was feeling dumb for selling my puts and buying calls EoD Friday. Then MMs let me exit my calls at a profit and get back into puts before dumping. Are they dumb? 🤔
[+9] u/abroadbroadband: Iran is willing to blow up their own infrastructure to hit invading forces
That's hard as fuck, but I need them to calm down
SPY 700
[+9] u/WorkingCorrect1062: How will the ground invasion work? Will centcom ask troops to wait pause operation every Monday morning for stock markets and resume on Friday evening?
[+9] u/stupidber: -0.01% everybody freak the fuck out right now
[+9] u/newtoeso: SPY will start with 5 next week
[+9] u/shindiggaa: get ready for an epic \_ump
[+9] u/OntologicalSquirrel: Mr. President please stop, it's too much winning, we can't take it anymore!!
[+9] u/Tanpopomon: The deadest of all cat bounces, and the bounciest.
[+9] u/CosecSecCot: Bulls have successfully predicted 87 of the last 5 market bottoms.
[+9] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: The Iranians literally gave you bulls the playbook today and you still fell for it LMAFO
[+9] u/ToonamiNights: JPow might be the goat at talking without revealing what he's actually thinking
[+9] u/shindiggaa: I could have sold my calls up 30%. But did I? Of course not
[+9] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: Spy 700 end of century maybe
[+9] u/jeezuspieces: My Roth was at $180k at the beginning of the year. Currently it's at $123k and I've done 0 changes. It's supposed to be stable stuff lol can't imagine what my boomer coworkers must be seeing who have 1mil+ in their account
[+9] u/AlpacaDream7: Raise your hand if you bought the top of this MU cycle 🙋♂️
[+9] u/Brief_Carpenter_7457: 🥭 way in over his head
[+8] u/Maximum_Light409: Wow, what a beautiful recovery. I can hardly believe it. +0.35% after a 15% drop.
[+8] u/hypeaze: Why the straights of hormuz bringing down my 401k? Should we just rename it to lgbtqs of hormuz instead?
[+8] u/Whole_Tea_4383: sara eisen and stephan miran on cnbc. Two of the stupiest people on earth and miran just managed to surpass sara eisen WOW
[+8] u/astromouse2024: Yea no, I’m dumping these calls right at open and switching to puts, and no I don’t care if we gap up 1%
[+8] u/King_Kgno: all of my gains over the past two years have been wiped out. what the fuck
[+8] u/Distinct_Car7737: I'm the exit liquidity of a retarded
[+8] u/FunctionOk8962: deadcat bounce + pay day + taco = short you remedials
[+8] u/Deep-Ad-8525: This taco is a little different
[+8] u/AdventurousFinish681: This market doesnt run on oil it runs on hopium
[+8] u/LoathedOne: Why hello there cliff
[+8] u/Sco_420: Calm the market enough before open to get retail to fomo into calls thinking the bottom is in. Engage rug.
A classic move.
[+8] u/KroKart100: Somehow I’m up 3k the past week from strictly buying puts. I was always a bull but this is just too obvious. Any pump gets wrecked
[+8] u/puffinnbluffin: Some guy last month called out insane volume/open interest on deep OTM 04/17 SPY puts $585 $575 etc. Guess he was right 🤷♂️
[+8] u/bruhhzilla: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+8] u/ibetyouliketes: What war? 🌮 declared victory on March 11th!
[+8] u/Williamnguyen62838: BREAKING NEWS: JPOW IS SPEAKING NOW
[+8] u/MoleMan199: People bought puts after a -8% week 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
[+8] u/Col_Treize69: The fastest way to get 🥭 to get serious about de escalation would be to significantly drop the market. Heck, one circuit breaker day could do it.
But the market also knows that whenever it goes down, he is likely to TACO, therefore it does not go down as rapidly as would be needed to get a TACO.
A curious game.
[+8] u/Ok_Worldliness_2902: This won't happen for a bit, but at some point the coming global recession will lead to demand destruction in oil which will in-turn lower prices.
I can't wait for people to not understand that concept.
[+7] u/Small-Opening-4319: I go back to work tomorrow fellas my maternity leave is officially over
[+7] u/Unit_Weird: So he wants to cause a humanitarian crisis by destroying 93 million people's energy, water, food and means of production because the "new regime" won't talk to him. Good one 😂
[+7] u/mstranonymous: I'd hate to see what the market would look like if the US hadn't won the war 2 weeks ago
[+7] u/Inevitable_Mirror_74: Market never bottoms on a Friday, I guess we’re melting down for another few weeks probably. So God damn annoying.
[+7] u/brian_n_austin: Im no expert in the art of war, geopolitics or even the stock market. But I have lived enough life to know a little bit about human behavior. When Prez gets rattled there are three phases:
Phase 1 - everything is fine, nothing to see here, superlative after superlative.
Phase 2 - name calling. When he starts calling people, especially teammates, stupid, dummies, idiots, etc you know he's nervous about an outcome. This is his hedge.
Phase 3 - he starts the bus up. Deflection, blame, someone else's fault, puts the bus in reverse and starts to back up over the people who are tangental to the problem. That's checkmate.
With this Iran mess I think we are phase 2A but we will see....
[+7] u/CaptCookbook: I'm giving her all she's got, Captain!- Scotty Bessent
[+7] u/Striking-Fig924: Mango please give me one more pump so i can get outplease
[+7] u/HuevosSplash: Market ain't buying his pump and dump posts anymore in regards to the war, considering the market is one of the only things he cares about it's gonna sink in eventually just how stupid it was to have even gotten to this point at all.
[+7] u/InsaneBallsack: How long until Iran says there have been no talks
[+7] u/Independent_Term5790: We are about to rip hugely
[+7] u/AbrocomaNegative825: 601 puts could still print tbh
[+7] u/stocdave: What is the mother fucker’s problem? Sit down and the shut the hell up.
[+7] u/Kung-FuPikachu: i’m convinced if cramer didn’t make that tweet we’d be red so thanks jimmy
[+7] u/jerm2z: Light-up sneakers with velcro on the ground soon
[+7] u/cryptohorn: Me listening to cnbc then checking on oil price
Lmaoooo
[+7] u/hardcrepe: Fall harder RAM stocks. You’re gonna reimburse everyone for your overpriced products👺
[+7] u/prana_fish: Like, I'm surprised bulls seeing that overnight low liquidity pump on literally nothing, after seeing the weak ass TACO pumps last week, thought it would actually hold during regular session.
No one gives a shit about how cHeAp $MSFT/$NVDA/$META has become fundamentally. IT'S ALL FUCKING VIBES.
[+7] u/ervelee: Treat people kindly, you never know what they are going through.
[+5] u/Creepy_Leave_7824: wish i hadn't gotten shaken out of my puts
[+5] u/AlexisDeTocqueville: "Daddy says everything is all better" vs "You fucking morons are buying this?" at open
[+10] u/WrexyWrex: "THE DOW IS AT 50,000!!!!"
[+10] u/RagingBearBull: my advice to young people is this
stock up on dry foods, and hope you can enter a 100year comma
[+10] u/AgitatedJump8459: Im up 121$ today. Not bad for a working man
[+9] u/MooseyGoosey69: Green looks so much better than red
[+9] u/Random_Yoohooser: Bearish Thesis
- Clear downtrend
- instability in Middle East makes oil prices uncertain for near future
-Lingering inflation also tied to “meh” job numbers
-Middling Fed positioning, no cuts or hikes indicated signal “wait and see”
-Just going off of today’s price action, clear attempt by bulls to reclaim price and promptly smacked back down.
-Gold acting complete opposite of what was expected
Bullish Thesis
-Stonk go up
I know where you guys think the breads buttered
[+9] u/puts_every_day: People trying to catch the knife are going to declare bankruptcy after today
[+9] u/AugusteToulmouche: market crashing so bad rn I could come out as gay and nobody will even notice
[+9] u/suddenly-scrooge: military enlistment is the new wendys
[+9] u/Rocketeer006: So the market is believing this bullshit? How many times is it going to be fooled? Absolute regards
[+9] u/neutralpoliticsbot: We will never have a red day ever again!
[+9] u/Top_Cranberry_3254: Circuit Breaker incoming.
[+9] u/Metal-Water: SpaceX IPO gonna be the biggest pump and dump ever
[+9] u/mightychicken64: it all went to shit after they shot that GODDAMN gorilla
[+9] u/Rich-Badger-7601: And you're telling me the one stock actually rising is MSFT?
[+9] u/zuziannka: Drop it man Drop tesla to 300 please
[+9] u/YouDontKnowDino: The age of AI is over. The age of oil is upon us
[+9] u/2QuarterDollar: Just throw the market away
[+8] u/Weekly_Finding6260: mango get obliterated in iran, obama steps in, spy 750 by friday
[+8] u/Xczf: Heres my trading strategy for tuesday to thursday.
1. Buy 0dte puts at open
2. Sell near eod.
3. ???
4. Profit
[+8] u/nsfwnsfwnsfw33333: bols where you at? you were so vocal 30 minutes ago lmao
[+8] u/fonturk: To all those people worrying that this pump won't hold, rest easy brothers and sisters i have bought puts hence the war will certainly be over in the upcoming hours.
[+8] u/Sudden-Smoke-8377: fuel rationing coming soon....we will be a in lockdwon 2.o
[+8] u/AnAssholesBestFriend: Triple top on QQQ for those counting at home
[+8] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Y'all didn't listen to the Iranian Speaker of Parliament and it shows
[+8] u/UrOpinionIsBadBuddy: Sir the 100th bear has shat in the woods
[+8] u/-SuperBatman: Bottom has formed. Not because it should, but because you held puts over the weekend
[+8] u/leandrostonks: Black monday in t-60 minutes
[+8] u/Spaceisveryhard: !banbet SPY 627.00 6h
[+8] u/Austin_Destroyer: This isn't what I had in mind when I said I was looking forward to "robots that will fuck you".
[+7] u/plugwalls: Do you guys know any peptides that will fix my port?
[+7] u/Several_Bread_9144: Look more discounts!!! It sure cant go lower than this
[+7] u/ClearResident1292: Open green so I can load my puts back up
[+7] u/CMDR_Shepard96: My GOOGL SEPT18 350C ain't looking so good
[+7] u/nikerock: Be real cool if spy just trips and falls to $620.....
[+7] u/sn-063: Jake got aired loooooooool
[+7] u/KehreAzerith: Who the fuck is catching these falling knives
[+7] u/randomquartile1: Bro does not know what to do. Iran has him in a chokehold.
[+7] u/T-WrecksArms: MU gonna make me hella rich once this Betch turns around.
[+6] u/dudeondacouch: Celieve it or not, balls.
[+6] u/iliveasimplelife: There is it, truth social tweet
[+6] u/ManyManufacturer6090: For whoever bought puts at open and is still holding. I envy you
[+6] u/South-Attorney-5209: USO is 70% short touching $130. Call volume spiking today. Going to be painful for the shorts if it keeps going
[+6] u/moosewithamuffin: DCA bros single handedly propping up this market.
[+9] u/Ticksdonthavelymph: I think this Harkonan take over of spice production will be good for the market long term
[+9] u/maticus85: Screw it. I'm turning on the CNBC pre-market show and doing the opposite of what Kramer says.
[+9] u/Waiting4Reccession: What happen to the pump
[+9] u/JoeEldenRing: We live in a fundamentally retarded country
[+9] u/dangernext: Bro literally Counter Strike skins market is more fundamental then the stock markets. I’m done, I am full porting my favourite AK Skin.
[+8] u/Disconn3cted: I like how we are threatening to blow up the desalination plants ourselves now.
[+8] u/doctorqaz: MU made 24B last quarter. Buy the dip
[+8] u/Amazing-Topic2827: Hoping call holders take profit soon so we can all enjoy this afternoon
[+8] u/LostMyMag: Its obviously going to close flat to fuck with everyone
[+8] u/Acefanatik: I can buy puts and give an end to all this but I don’t want to!!!
[+8] u/Longjumping-One-7022: Word on the street Iran nukes Israel on Easter Sunday. You didn’t hear it here.
[+8] u/zoomin1098: unattended algos will be towed at owner's expense.
[+8] u/zangor: that dead cat can overtake voyager 1 faster than you think and history can back this up
[+8] u/ideletedmyaccount04: I get the feeling WSB is being astroturfed by people who have no intention of buying options.
[+8] u/Pojihut: 'The market is not pricing risk through options — it is absorbing it through balance sheet contraction, that is a much more dangerous state. Because it means stress is not being hedged it is being accumulated, and when it releases, it does so non-linearly.' it's going to crash.
[+8] u/eerhmahgerd: Bill Ackman telling people to buy means we're nowhere near the bottom.
[+7] u/HDauthentic: You guys didn’t actually BELIEVE him… right?
[+7] u/OriginalFatPickle: What's up with the cryptic MOD message?
[+7] u/bankshotzombies1: Gonna be yet another green Monday and Tuesday and deep red Wednesday Thursday Friday
[+7] u/LongroddMcHugendong: IRGC is the power in Iran, not individuals. Short of their destruction, the Islamic Republic and all of this shit they’ve been doing for decades will persist. Spending $35 billion and tanking the global energy economy just to sink some boats and blow up some factories is an abject failure of an outcome.
[+7] u/PaperHandsTheDip: What if everyone here picked up the pocket change from their couch, we pooled it, then did a lottery
[+7] u/Physical-Rub4659: I wanted a stripper for my birthday this year. Mango ruined it i guess its just me crying myself to sleep this time around .
[+7] u/mapsosa: MU holy fuck please stop
[+7] u/Wrath_FMA: I sold my puts so early
[+7] u/zebrawaterfall: That’s right jpow you tell the admin
[+7] u/tandoori_taco_cat: I have lost money, just as I predicted
[+7] u/gooneral_MC: i catch the wu flu and am out of the game for a few days and you fuckers let this shit drill smh my head
[+6] u/pmoO0: If you are real quiet, you can hear the echoes of NVIDIA investors talking about $230 minimum. Obviously you would NEVER be able to get it below $200.
When dreams hit the immovable wall of reality. It'll get worse. People just close their eyes and hope it'll be ok.
It's not ok.
[+6] u/DynoJoe27: Crazy thing is NVDA is just STARTING to break down. Can you imagine if it actually breaks what the market is gonna do?
[+9] u/spacmann: What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again; there is nothing new under the sun
[+9] u/svpa3991: It’s okay JPOW, don’t worry bout inflation. According to mango, stuff signed with autopen is fake. Those new anniversary bills will be worthless anyway. Either my money is fake or worthless
[+9] u/TempusFugit314: V! LOOK AT THE V! ItS ViNg!!!! Whdbjcubriwlnt! -
Average bol the past two weeks
[+9] u/Working_Monitor_2076: damn should not have sold my 0dte puts for just 50% profit
[+8] u/Horror_Yam_9078: 0.01% Red. Bools generationally fucked.
[+8] u/Ancient_Sort5820: I aint even checking the market anymore. When youre out of cash to buy with whats the point of stressing yourself out? See yall in a couple weeks.
[+8] u/VariousScenes: Is this "New regime" in the room with us right now?
[+8] u/NeighborhoodDry1821: So MU getting sold off because Google gonna eat up its margins, but Google doing fuck all….
Mmmmmkay
[+8] u/Ok-End-3213: Lost 200k of equity in the last 2 months. I am king regard.
[+8] u/Advanced_Divide_4641: Can I get 98 cents on pump 1
[+8] u/SolidSky: Micron was the only thing keeping my portfolio afloat. Fuck.
[+8] u/G1gl1orononim1con: I liked the old ASTS.
The one that wasn’t afraid of heights.
[+8] u/NeuroManXy: Looks like this admin is retarted
[+8] u/Live_Paper8680: Wait does this mean 5 dollar footlongs are gone forever
[+8] u/TheWizardOfFries: SPY goes up .20%
>what's wrong retard bear? regret be born?
We're -1.80% for the day
[+7] u/Country_Gravy420: That Iranian dude was right about the market
[+7] u/Neat-Ambition-2977: Our beloved republic is in the hands of madmen!
[+7] u/Bichael-Murry: nice little pump you got there, would be a shame if something happened to it
[+7] u/TrollerCoasterWoo: Guys, this time the talks are serious. Really. I’m not just pulling it out of my ass like last time
[+7] u/Horror_Yam_9078: Now THIS is Kangarooing!
[+7] u/Icommandyou: The bigger issue is that if I continue to buy the dip I won’t be able to afford gas or groceries
[+6] u/spsteve: Fakest gayest attempt at a pump ever.
[+6] u/SINYACHTA: If you are doing home renovations DO NOT get your supplies at lowes/home depot if you have a builders firstsource near you. It cost me a 1/3 of what lowes was charging.
And uhhhhhhhh 50000
[+6] u/Everythingisokey: lmfao it was green premarket and now this
[+6] u/rumblecatz: I cant stay way from this sub. I love it here.
[+6] u/WeakPeak1015: remember when you're losing money today, you're not wrong, you're just early!!!
[+6] u/Revolutionary_Iife: When the war ends, 🥭will ask for a peace nobel prize for stopping the war he started
[+6] u/kal14144: There will never be a red day again. Permabols back in charge forever. Praise JPow. Ber fuked. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
[+5] u/anerdknownaswill: Just bought a call. It should go down again now