How much of your portfolio is in individual stocks vs index funds, and did the individual stock side actually feel worth the time?

My household income is around 140K, I have two kids, and saving about 18% of gross and most of it is sitting in target date funds in the 401(k)s which is fine, but I've had a taxable account running on the side where I've been picking individual stocks for the last four years and I finally sat down and actually ran the numbers. I haven't beaten my index equivalent after tax (roughly even), maybe slightly behind, and the part I keep coming back to is I've probably put 200 hours into research over those four years and I could have gotten the same result by automating the whole thing and doing literally anything else with my time. The thing is I actually enjoy the research, that's the honest part of it, it doesn't feel like homework the way a lot of financial stuff does. but I also have two kids and I'm not swimming in free hours and I keep asking myself whether I'm spending those hours on something that's going somewhere or just scratching an itch. Anyone been at this exact fork? did you commit to going deeper and actually develop an edge, or did you just index and feel better about it?