It's an anxious period for me.

Hey everyone. Just dumping some thoughts and anxiety. I've been on the market since a 1y ago. My aunt (single) dead, and left me with 15k. Since then I've been diversifying - etf, bonds and fu\*\* stock picking. And this last one is killing me. I want to buy a new house in the next 3y and I know I'm not going make a fortune from all that money... but hey, look at sandisk. What if I bought 100 shares a year ago? I decided since the beginning that I'm on the market for long term, but at the same time I lost some money for bad decisions (quantum computing, pinterest) and lost important money for my house. This thoughts are killing me. I wanted to surf the wave, make good money and leave. I have a friend who's always green - always making money - essentially surfing this market. No financial background, just surfing. I don't want that risk... but he has been soooo lucky. And I'm not. He doesn't do any company analysis. He doesn't care about earnings... on the other side, In the past 3 months I've been spending too much energy creating python scripts to analyse companies, earnings, ps ratio, dilution, etc...... too much energy. At the same time I know I'm right: focused ln the long term. But the other side is saying: you could also surf this bull marker wave and make money. And you're not. You could put money in Siemens Energy at 75€ (seriously I had the opportunity) but I didn't because I didn't know if I should. Now it's "just" 141€. Felling guilty, feeling I'm loosing the wave... because seems a good opportunity, and I know we don't know the future. My friend goes from the "feeling", and succeeded. I try to understand things and could make money, and I'm not. Feeling anxious because could making good money, an extra help for my house and I'm not. Feel lost sometimes.