I am 19 years old.
I had around 50,000$ saved up and most of it was invested in the S&P 500. I have always tried to live in a way I worked and I saved my money and I tried to be very disciplined, with my spending. I made sure to put my money into the S&P 500 because I thought it was an investment.
A days ago I made a huge mistake. I did something wrong and it was all my fault. I totally messed things up with my actions. The mistake I made was an one. It happened a few days ago.
I was trading options. I lost a big part of my money fifty percent of my capital all in one day. Trading options can be really bad, for me I mean I was doing okay. Then I made some bad choices. Now I have lost a lot of my capital. I am talking about options trading it is a risk I lost fifty percent of my capital in just one day of options trading.
The thing that makes it worse is the reason I did it. I think about why I did it and that's what makes it worse. Doing it was bad. The reason I did the thing is what really makes it worse.
I was really close to making a mistake with my money. I was going to put ten thousand dollars into an options trade because it felt right.. Then I thought about it. I knew it was a bad idea. It was too risky and not very smart. So I did not do it. A few hours went by. Then I heard some news, about Trump and what he thinks about Greenland. If I had made that trade I would have gotten a lot of money seven hundred and fifty thousand dollars. I was lucky I did not make that trade because I would have been doing it for the reasons. The trade would have worked out well. It was still a bad idea to do it just because it felt right. I am glad I did not put my money into that options trade even though it would have made me a lot of money.
That really messed with my head. Seeing that absolutely broke something in my head it was like my brain just stopped working. Seeing that was a shock, to me.
I was really mad at myself for missing that trade I kept thinking that I was right. That is when I started trading to get back at the market. I stopped doing all the things that I knew were good, for me. I did not have a plan. I was not managing my risk. I was only thinking about how I felt. I let my emotions take over. I was only thinking about revenge trading.
My savings have really taken a hit now half of my savings are gone. I had a lot of money in my savings. Now half of my savings are just not there anymore.
I feel sick. I am ashamed and I am honestly devastated. I just cannot stop thinking about what happened over in my head. My life is young. I still have a lot of time but the way I feel right now is that I ruined my life and I threw away years of being good and working hard because of one really stupid thing I did. I keep thinking about my life. How I feel like I made a big mistake. My life and my choices are really bothering me.
If anyone has gone through something like this. With options or gambling or trying to get back at the market by revenge trading. I would really appreciate it if you could give me some advice, on options and gambling and revenge trading.
• how to mentally recover
• how to forgive yourself
• and how to move forward without self-destructing again
Right now, I feel completely lost.