Daily Discussion Thread for March 26, 2026

[+63] u/fredditf: https://preview.redd.it/egwine7nfdrg1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ee84adae8d8b67fdd5fc780eeda52dc6d99b491 [+50] u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister: Starting to think he can't tweet his way out of this one [+35] u/k3mpk3mp: Imagine queuing to buy silver at $119 and losing half your money in a month [+32] u/Urzuck: I'm sorry but this market was over since Bondi perfectly called the top on the Dow. [+31] u/jonneh: 🥭 this morning on truth social: “yOu gUyS bEtTer gEt sEriOus sOon” [+30] u/NYGiants181: This year really sucks I hate this fat orange fuck [+28] u/Happy-Champion1661: "OMG guys SPY is only ~~2~~ ~~3~~ ~~5~~ ~~6~~ 6.6% from ATH! Why are you complaining" - permabol [+27] u/42thefloor2011: 640 will get tested today. 🥭 has lost complete control of everything [+26] u/Unhappy-Ad-2609: DONT WORRY i'm monitoring the situation now [+24] u/TheEagleDied: If Mango wasn’t such a bullshit artist, we could be on the other side of this market right now with someone sane at the helm. But no, the poors want entertainment. Well, have fun then, enjoy the cake. [+24] u/ReferenceFunny7142: Why are we at war ? Only stupid answers [+23] u/cannythecat: 5 red weeks in a row [+20] u/dogefool88: BREAKING: MSFT and GOOG filing bankruptcy this week. [+19] u/Treverer: „🥭 urges Iranian negotiators to get more serious“ You can say about his mental decline what you will, but his imagination is remarkably lively for his age [+19] u/SocraticGoats: COMING SOON TO A THEATER NEAR YOU: Liberation Day II - Return to 4800 Staring: Don, Bibi, Kegsbreath, Nutlick, Miller Special appearance by Screamin' Bondi *This film is dedicated in loving memory to our beloved Jeffery, may you find an island in the heavens* [+18] u/LasyKuuga: The thread is so empty 😔 I guess a lot yall didn’t make it [+18] u/Frozen_Shades: Worldwide Energy Crisis. Blame it on a retarded 🥭 [+18] u/BFox1982: Why dont we just get the Ghost of Kyiv to escort ships through the Strait? [+18] u/stopstockingme: Holy... S&P is cooked, DOW is cooked, crypto is cooked but nothing cooked at home :( [+17] u/Fhyzikz: I know how we can get war ended and world peace but I'm not allowed to say it. Puts [+17] u/Roxorek: rate hikes coming slower growth coming inflation up coming SPY -25% coming [+17] u/VariousScenes: "France's Finance Minister Roland Lescure revealed on Wednesday that between 30 and 40 per cent of Gulf refining capacity has been damaged or destroyed by Iran's retaliatory strikes, leaving a shortage of 11 million barrels a day on global oil markets. Lescure warned it could take up to three years to restore damaged facilities, and several months to restart those that were urgently shut down." Damn. I thought I was too gay, turns out I wasn't gay enough [+17] u/SoloOutdoor: Hes fucked this economy so bad at this point even if he pulled a full uno reverse and traveled back in time its still fucked. He fucked around for too long and we get to find out. [+17] u/Visual-Wasabi-203: at least he got that big, expensive present from them...so not all bad [+16] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: Thank you to the person who liked my comment yesterday when QQQ was at 592 when I said ONE like and I’ll buy puts. [+16] u/cryptohorn: I'm beginning to think we're not governed by smart people. [+16] u/Cav829: I am beginning to think it was not priced in. [+16] u/TyroneSwoopes: Wonder how far they’ll let 🥭 take this whole dementia king thing before the adults in the room say enough is enough. I’m pretty shocked it’s gone this far and Congress hasn’t done anything about it, if we actually get boots on the ground or $200b for this war and they say nothing that’s actually fucking insane [+15] u/No_Current3675: Retard actually said it’s not a war, it’s a “military operation”, no cap. [+15] u/TarrifJacksonJr: Pro tip: when the recession hits buy ribs so when ur starving you can at least gnaw on bones [+15] u/2tapbaptise: My girlfriend's boyfriend gonna be so mad I lost all the money He gonna start fists fuck me and her No more cuck ✊ [+15] u/unique_ptr: Iran could end this war right now by sticking to all of their demands while only making one additional offer: building a Statue of Liberty-scale mango statue in the Strait, call it the fucking Statue of Peace or whatever the fuck who cares [+15] u/trsx5: I don’t think you all appreciate the Pam Bondi DOW 50k enough. And it shows 🫵 [+14] u/Independent-Tree-985: Just wait, it gets worse at 830 [+14] u/Bumst3r: SPY trying to drill it’s way out of the oil crisis [+14] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: The commenter above me is clearly pooor [+13] u/btw1217: I'M LOSING ALL OF MY MONEY. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER. [+13] u/Colloquial: She shoulda said Dow is over 25000 so she'd have been right a lot longer [+13] u/awetfartruinedmylife: Bols: "today we pump -1%" [+13] u/UnDemen: When it happens there will be bigger celebrations than on Victory Day in WW2 [+13] u/vanceraa: you’re telling me the israeli defence minister is called Israel? time to name my kid Standard & Poor [+13] u/BrownDog42069: Is this the biggest self own of the last 50 years? [+12] u/Previous_Hope_2087: Just gotta 25x my port to breakeven. Seems doable [+12] u/Unhappy-Ad-2609: Hold ur puts bear gang! the best is yet to come 🤑🤑🤑🤑 [+11] u/AerieZealousideal330: "All those years they told me: "Just put the fries in the bag bro!" Who's laughing now? # McDonald's adds new fee to orders: 'Dude like $15 of your order is fees' [+11] u/UnDemen: The good news is my portfolio is probably enough to exclude me from the draft because of severe regardness [+11] u/eoiioe: Emergency rate increase inbound, that will send 🥭 into a frenzy lol [+11] u/31andnotdone: a very stable genius [+11] u/BFox1982: The whole world is retarded and it's entirely self inflicted. 😵‍💫 [+11] u/Upstairs_System_6257: If trump had a heart attack this weekend, would monday be green? [+11] u/sauronII: Spy should be mooning. We reached AGI, the war is won, a big present was given and the strait is open. I‘m starting to suspect the ticker broke… [+11] u/31andnotdone: some of you think stocks are "cheap" here and I think thats really cute. I desire to be that clueless also. [+11] u/Roxorek: is it gonna be worse than 07 [+11] u/jfwelll: Is the AGI in the room with us? [+11] u/AirwickS: 🛢️30-40% of Gulf refining capacity damaged or destroyed according to France. “France's Finance Minister Roland Lescure revealed on Wednesday that between 30 and 40 per cent of Gulf refining capacity has been damaged or destroyed by Iran's retaliatory strikes, leaving a shortage of 11 million barrels a day on global oil markets. Lescure warned it could take up to three years to restore damaged facilities, and several months to restart those that were urgently shut down.” [+11] u/Frozen_Shades: 🥭 has announce that ICE will be deployed to the Wall Street Bets Daily Thread [+10] u/Colloquial: What if we just get FiFA to send another peace prize [+10] u/VariousScenes: Its funny how armageddon needs to wait for markets to close on Friday [+10] u/BarbellPadawan: When the Fed pivots into rate hikes, it’s gonna be brutal. *Edit: Fed pivot [+10] u/chainerection: I declare bankcrupty, both financially and morally [+10] u/UnDemen: 🥭 We won, surrender, please, omg, I am going to get impeached and go to jail cause I like kids [+10] u/rondelpotro: How will Trump pull off his TACO manipulation this weekend? The five day extension runs out tomorrow. He has warned Iran they better make a deal “before it’s too late”. He’s going to go batshit crazy soon when Iran tells him that he doesn’t hold the cards. I am trying to figure out how he pull off the dump-and-pump this weekend. He can play it crazy on Friday (that’s never been a problem for him) but how does he pacify the market on Monday morning this time? [+10] u/Unhappy-Ad-2609: How are my "Buy the dip" bulls doing today 🤣 [+10] u/StockImportant5135: attacks again Friday after market closes ceasefire on Monday Rinse n repeat [+10] u/Isometric_exercises: Gavin Newsome about to pass JD Vance on polymarket [+10] u/No_Relief_8705: Is this how the musicians on the Titanic felt [+10] u/kryptonyk: I don’t wanna brag but… I booked all my flights for vacations BEFORE the war started. Lmao poor airlines. [+10] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: For anyone not in the loop on Microsoft, they're going down because of that Instagram reel where Peter Griffin explains the allow update from other PC's settings to Stewie [+10] u/Careless-Maize-8915: I want to thank Schwab for keeping me from buying puts yesterday at close. Preciate that, keep up the good work ya fucks.. [+9] u/Wowmuchrya: Retard bol thinks it will get better, but what happens when captain retard himself thinks hes doing a surprise attack this weekend when the whole world knows? Bye bye SPY. [+9] u/Homeless-Coward-2143: My 2 brokerage accounts said my gain/losses for the year were pretty high, so I tax loss harvested a bunch of stuff to get it dow. Now my 1099s show me just straight up having g 6 figure losses for the year. What the fuck, man? What's the point in tax planning if you're going to just be making up random shit. [+9] u/SmoothOperator423: Paying off my debt is a better return than this market right now tbh [+9] u/Legitimate_Source_43: Question if you say you're team rainbow will that void you from the draft? [+9] u/MyCactusTeacher: imagine if these retards didnt get tricked by fake tweets LMAO [+9] u/TrumpAllOverMe: FYI - All ya’all’s profiles are NSFW [+9] u/ReferenceFunny7142: We need to distract him. Mcdonalds needs to say its going to steak cut french fries [+9] u/HomeMadeToast: Why does it feel like a Friday today [+9] u/DriftWoodBarrel: Calls on horse wagons. [+9] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: I WANT MY PUTS TO QUADRUPLE. NATO IS HELPING. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER. [+9] u/ValueOfADollar: This war has set back my ability to leave home by at least 2 years [+9] u/Full_Boysenberry_198: Draft as I say, not as I dodge [+9] u/A55BAG: [https://www.france24.com/en/france-confirms-oil-crisis-says-30-40-gulf-energy-infrastructure-destroyed](https://www.france24.com/en/france-confirms-oil-crisis-says-30-40-gulf-energy-infrastructure-destroyed) [https://www.reuters.com/business/energy/least-40-russias-oil-export-capacity-halted-reuters-calculations-show-2026-03-25/](https://www.reuters.com/business/energy/least-40-russias-oil-export-capacity-halted-reuters-calculations-show-2026-03-25/) Haven't read anything like that from US financial media. [+9] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Just saw some dude at my work dropping his pants down to his ankles at the urinal. Shirt tail just covering his bare ass cheeks. What the literal fuck? [+8] u/Dull_Broccoli1637: Oh no, Donny activated Drill Team 6 instead of First Airborne Division [+8] u/Competitive-Water944: Bul back to twerking anoos 🤣 [+8] u/Ravenous-Hydrant: I say CALLS AT OPEN. You fookin homo EUROPOORS [+8] u/callsonreddit: rip OpenAI puts erotic chatbot plans on hold ‘indefinitely’ [https://finance.yahoo.com/sectors/technology/articles/openai-puts-erotic-chatbot-plans-100001634.html](https://finance.yahoo.com/sectors/technology/articles/openai-puts-erotic-chatbot-plans-100001634.html) [+8] u/31andnotdone: "the downtrend is reversing, dont be too stubborn to switch sides" they said. [+8] u/borrokalaria: It seems the markets no longer care about the vomit TACO pukes every time he tries to bump the stonks. [+8] u/keny2323: Bull trap at open into gigadump to 642, youre regarded if you think this massive downtrend will reverse with 1 dip lol [+8] u/DateUser66: Microsoft dying since Bill Gates was in the pdf file --> Adobe killed Microsoft. [+8] u/confused_teabagger: >customers: MSFT, Windows 11 sucks >MSFT: we hear you loud and clear! Windows 11 now mandatory and we are going to put ads on the start menu. >MSFT: we also heard you wanted us to take screenshots and spy on your desktop all day, you got it! >customers: plz, no! Also Azure sucks ass compared to literally every other cloud, fix it? >MSFT: Fixed! We made it damn near impossible to integrate with any of your existing systems, but connects seamlessly with MS products, mandatory AI! >customers: Not AI, plox!!!! >MSFT: You got it! We are forcing AI into every goddamn product we have including Windows 11! You're welcome! We are also single-handedly propping up OpenAI because you asked nicely! >customers: Why are you like this? Didn't you used to have cutting edge technology and development? Can't you do more of that? >MSFT: Sure thing! We replaced our entire workforce with H-1B holders with dubious degrees and have started propping them up with more AI, just like you want it! >customers: :-( >bols: Why is MSFT down? People wonder why the retail market makes no sense. [+8] u/BarbellPadawan: I thought if I trade across multiple markets I can’t lose on *all* trades. I thought wrong. [+8] u/inconsistentsavant: I hope they do a documentary about this sub one day. lol [+8] u/Roxorek: | Country | Gasoline (95) USD/gal | Diesel USD/gal | | Netherlands | \~$9.85 – $10.34 | \~$9.85 – $10.34 | | Germany | \~$9.02 – $9.29 | \~$9.76 – $9.94 | | France | \~$8.50 – $8.72 | \~$9.24 – $9.41 | | Italy | \~$7.45 – $7.98 | \~$8.63 – $9.24 | | United Kingdom | \~$7.25 – $7.35 | \~$8.40 – $8.55 | | Spain | \~$6.93 – $7.02 | \~$7.76 – $7.85 | | Poland | \~$6.76 – $6.89 | \~$7.63 – $7.80 | [+8] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Iran negotiators don’t exist I’m pretty sure this regard is making it all up. Circuit breaker soon [+8] u/Stonkrates: CUT MY CALLS INTO PIECES [+7] u/Frozen_Shades: Next winter gonna be **cold.** [+7] u/AIlZAl: Fuck u microsoft not a day without sharting [+7] u/Future_Chipmunk_7897: "IT'S A GREAT TIME TO BRIBE!" [+7] u/ikasey24: ONDS went from $5 to $15 off no news or added revenue, now they’ve grown revenue exponentially and permanently stuck at $10 [+7] u/Wowmuchrya: Almost back to where we were before his fake ass tweet. Time to go lower! [+7] u/Specialist_Fig9458: Well it was a nice little excursion into the 650s but it’s time to come back home LMAO [+7] u/ByahhByahh: K-shaped economy, R-shaped market. And the R stands for Re...allygood [+7] u/No_Relief_8705: Oil futes be ripping 🔥 [+7] u/glisteningoxygen: Microsoft looking cheeeeeeeeeap This knife needs catching soon. [+7] u/BarbellPadawan: u/31andnotdone you doing ok? I’ve wiped out my YTD profits. 🤷 Still doing better than the S&P. Gonna get back to revenge trading, which is *always* a good plan. [+7] u/KaMaFour: I think the market ran out of cope [+7] u/ewzetf: Bibi locked his eyes with him, approached and made a primeval grunt. He extended his right hand with fingers outstretched, and squeezed as he reached his target. Mango screamed in aroused agony as Bibi's fingers clenched around his balls. Bibi took his left hand, grasped his head, and whispered into his ear, "Quiet piggy," as warm light sweet crude gushed into mango's throat. [+7] u/jasperCrow: Is there any way Mango can Taco all these refineries that got blown up? He could say he’s just kidding or something? [+7] u/Eastern_Ad_3512: Msft is killing me man [+6] u/gotcreme: MU monthly chart looks more cyclical than memory itself [+6] u/A55BAG: https://preview.redd.it/wsal7ahkgdrg1.png?width=2388&format=png&auto=webp&s=ee4574b1052d469dc394eaa5af7cba68c17e47cf [https://www.reuters.com/business/energy/least-40-russias-oil-export-capacity-halted-reuters-calculations-show-2026-03-25/](https://www.reuters.com/business/energy/least-40-russias-oil-export-capacity-halted-reuters-calculations-show-2026-03-25/) Good luck bulls 🤣 [+6] u/Williamnguyen62838: BREAKING NEWS: THE OPERATION IS OFFICIALLY HAPPENING RIGHT NOW [+6] u/chainerection: Operation "Let the bomb do the negotiation" is now a full go [+6] u/_pout_: Yet again, trades made moments before 🥭 makes announcements: https://www.wsj.com/livecoverage/stock-market-today-dow-sp-500-nasdaq-03-26-2026/card/well-timed-trades-have-preceded-some-trump-policy-surprises-h1T6tZjXZvw1CKdrUJyq?st=mE7cVv&reflink=article_copyURL_share [+6] u/Frozen_Shades: Damn, just realized the southern states and their oil infrastructure are with range of drones from Cuba. You think this is messy now? [+6] u/Long-Aardvark-3129: New Fed Chair in May is going to screw everyone. I can already sense it. Market will go up though. [+6] u/GittingerFredl: 'Fridman asked if a company could be operated by AGI, to which Huang said “possible”.' Fridman didn't follow up asking when Huang will let AGI run Nvidia. [+6] u/MyCactusTeacher: how low we go before taco tacos again? i feel like he has a cooldown and chaos minimum to make sure he doesnt get fully embarassed [+6] u/keny2323: Oil setting up for a face ripper too [+6] u/ThrowRA-KB: Bulls are awfully quiet today. What happened? I thought this was the bottom bozos [+6] u/tokyobob: Drill Team Six reporting for duty sirs! [+6] u/Character_Pirate_152: all the news is bad and the world is hostage to the orange toddler. I guess we'll moon green because of some mango shit post. [+6] u/Kabrosif: I swear to f’ing Jesus’ nutsack if we dont see a got damn circuit breaker today I’m gonna freak out man! [+6] u/orsomeshitidk: Idk who needs to hear it but a garment steamer is a game changer and worth buying lol [+6] u/Dulmut: kinda crazy how quiet it is currently on here [+5] u/Isometric_exercises: Can we just rip off the band-aid already [+5] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: I really hate to be this guy but bullshit pump in thirty minutes into green then flat the rest of the day. Idfk [+5] u/Aware-Teacher5389: Oil gang clocking in for the day [+5] u/ZealousidealSector19: She's a 10 but wants me to eat toast off of her butt like a dinner plate [+5] u/cheetles_plus: Someone tell me how the stock market reacted during WW2 [+5] u/collegefootballfan69: Since airfares are going through the roof everyone will just stay home to watch Netflix and chill [+5] u/thevolxme: Love the effort from spy drilling for oil ❤️ [+5] u/kal14144: Hacked Bessent’s alarm clock - oil bounce is delayed [+5] u/LasyKuuga: On the phone rn with a call centre. The Indian accent is a high cortisol accent 🤔 [+5] u/No_Relief_8705: Oil schmoil who needs the stuff anyway let's just fuckin walk from la to ny [+5] u/kawkface: Wtf is this VCX shit [+5] u/Recent_Register_2952: If AGI can't suck my dick then what's the point? [+5] u/TowelOld743: We getting pounded on a weekly basis [+5] u/Vonserb: After Iran, it’ll be Cuba or some other nation we can pick on [+5] u/Maximum-Side-9391: The Chewy CEO said that cats were now more popular than dogs. Another sign the world makes no sense. [+5] u/Stilnovisti: Longer lines at the airport means fewer flights going out. That's sure to help keep down the cost of oil and shows the power of bipartisanship. [+5] u/AndItsThetaAgain: I too was confused the first term when the taco stopped working Then we got a bear market 😂 [+5] u/orsomeshitidk: Also damn, SPY done shit the bed just like every bear with two brain cells to rub together knew it would. SMH [+5] u/Homeless-Coward-2143: Microsoft, pls. Release XP-Reloaded 2026. It is our only hope! [+24] u/brute-forced: Manufacturing in the United States is in a recession. Home building is down significantly in the United States. Banks are down in the United States. Zero hiring and high firing. We are truly winning folks, just doing the best job. [+24] u/Weak_Ostrich459: 🥭 deploying ICE to Iran [+22] u/Any_Life_6178: Wow, jobless numbers exactly matching the estimates, what a surprise. Almost like the numbers are manipulated…. [+20] u/Sorry_Attempt_1264: Do yourself a favor and actually read Trump's 15 Point Plan that he sent to Iran. Then, try to look at from Iran's perspective. You'll say "well, shit, that's not happening." Then, look at Iran's 5 points. You'll say "well, shit, that's not happening either." As near as I can tell, this pause is ploy to give the U.S. enough time to get troops in the region. This is going to go on for a while. [+18] u/RFKsBrainwormm: The lies are losing their potency I see [+18] u/x2eliah: Early retirement isn't real. Your rent is. [+18] u/smart_doge: Jobless reports every month Initial jobless claim 210k. Actual jobless claim (corrected a month later) 400k. [+17] u/Poor_Life-choices: Hello sharks.  I'm here today to give you an exciting opportunity to invest in a concept of a plan. [+17] u/MetalEnthusiast83: All of this shit is the least satisfying "I fucking told you idiots this would happen" of my life. [+16] u/ThinkingOfTheOldDays: Uganda says it'll step in to defend Israel. It's over Iran bros [+16] u/OSRSkarma: Does that shit say “crypto backed” mortgages? Bruh [+16] u/0neshoein: New pic of Snape came out and everything started crashing 🤔. [+16] u/Ok-Barracuda39: Anyone want to join together to pool resources to buy a 200-300 acre plot of forest in the upper midwest? I can contribute by handling all of our networking/videogaming/IT needs as well as making a mean pizza and burgers. I also bring some student loan debt and a small collection of WWI and WWII firearms. [+16] u/ILoveWesternCenter: The year is 2126. Today marks the hundred year anniversary of the downfall of the USA at the hands of a 🥭 [+15] u/Lapidated_Llama: 🥭 about to give us a lost decade [+15] u/Bam2458: It’s almost like the US just paid a trillion dollars to gave Iran control of the strait 😂 THE ART OF THE DEAL [+15] u/Ok-Barracuda39: In the other timeline, S&P is now pushing 760 with Mrs. Cackles passed out on the Oval Office floor after too much booze. [+15] u/smart_doge: Algos are finally learning that the tweets aren’t the truth anymore [+15] u/teh_herper: ###Daily reminder that €pstein is the reason lootboxes became mainstream in the US [+14] u/SHUT_DOWN_EVERYTHING: Looks like the negotiations taking place in 🥭’s head are over. [+14] u/mallison945: Gas is 3.68 in Texas. We sit on top of a god damn oil gold mine. I’m going to riot [+14] u/Gom_KBull: BREAKING: Iran does not negotiate with pdf files. [+14] u/Soffatjockis: OpenAI scraps launching an "erotic" chat bot. Puts on ai, this is the top. Sexbots was the only thing that kept this hype going. [+14] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: MSFT is less down that SPY? I am 100% sure this issue will be fixed at open [+13] u/magneticpasta9: It's so hard to find credible sources for whats going on in this war, that's why I come here. Now I know this has nothing to do with oil it's bc of the aliens [+13] u/DragonflyOrdinary848: Imagine markets if we had a normal president [+13] u/sloanemonroe: He’s not allowed to have another charity because his was fraudulent. Let’s make him the most powerful person on the planet. The human stupidity is endless [+13] u/Ok_GAINZ: I should sit this one out. Doesn’t feel right… so I’ll inevitably force my first trade, lose, then revenge trade to get it back and lose enough to have an out of body experience. As it is written. [+13] u/patricktu1258: You know you are absolutely cooked when you realize that your entire life saving depends on a dementia mf’s tweet [+13] u/Worried_Quarter469: Can’t believe civilization collapsing on a weekday I thought weekend for sure [+12] u/SpyBagholder: It’s official 🥭 is regarded [+12] u/Significant_Speed854: lol love how SPY is down and the headlines are now “Iran rejects talks”. This was true since Monday. [+12] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: Raise your hand 🙋 if you are winning [+12] u/Skilledthunder: I'm starting to think I didn't buy the dip, and instead bought a falling knife [+12] u/goofy-boots: you'd be insane to try and play the markets rn tbh [+11] u/IndependentUsual7444: This guys gonna get so many Americans killed [+11] u/GoProVI: It’s really annoying every other day “buls are fk”, “bers are fk”. Can we all agree we all fk? Because none of this makes sense. Yall think you’re cooking with these “\_\_\_ are fk” comments. Get a job…. [+11] u/OSRSkarma: People really bought precious metals at history all time highs after a 300% rally in a year. Truly generational IQ test [+11] u/Basis_404_: It seems like just yesterday the bulls were calling for SPY 700 and new ATHs and now they are telling bears to get wrecked when SPY ticks up 0.25% [+11] u/Suspicious_Ad6172: It’s called “S&P 500” for a reason… [+11] u/Zfreezy: Do you guys think that Iran's prize to 🥭 was a picture of a hooker pissing on him? [+11] u/twostroke1: Gonna be helping my grandchildren in 40 years with their history homework. Chapter 12: The Great AI Bubble. “The Dow is over $50k” - Pam Bondi [+10] u/financiallythriving: 401ks will be insolvent by the time I try to retire [+10] u/NightWalkThrowAway: I hate how 90% of the moves happened during non-trading hours. This shit goes sideways all during the same and makes all biggest moves after. [+10] u/Ok-Thought-9960: I really wonder how the morale is for the military like how do they feel about this shit [+10] u/__nameless____: Can someone just take 🥭 phone already and give him a toy phone or something [+10] u/NotRobotNFL: Thuth post coming before market opens [+10] u/cashflow_: THERES THIS SMOKE SHOW IN MY BUILDING. WE HAVE BEEN IN NEGOTIATIONS TO GO ON A DATE. SHE WANTS TO MAKE A DEAL SO BADLY BUT SHE IS AFRAID TO SAY IT [+10] u/Soffatjockis: Spy has no business being above 600. [+10] u/The_BakedCrusader: Can't wait for U.S. tanks to roll into Iran with 'Coinbase' ads on them. In fact, why not just go full Nascar with all of our military gear and plaster our great American companies all over? That way Petey doesn't have to ask the people for $200 billion. [+10] u/LarryStink: Had a dream last night spy was 350. 🔮 [+10] u/Fernyfern7: Wow jobless claims everyone must be doing well and have jobs [+10] u/shinigami_2245: Had to buy a sacrificial call yesterday, gotta break a free eggs to make an omelette [+10] u/tika_dengu: That lady with a weird laugh can’t stop laughing [+10] u/SuspiciousStable9649: There’s a small possibility the man has gone over the edge. Imagine if he single-handedly makes age limits or term limits a basic necessity. [+10] u/PlaysWthSquirrels: Some of you haven't even said thank you once, and it shows. [+10] u/ihopethisworksfornow: I’m starting to think that this ol’ Donny Trump guy might not know what he’s doing [+10] u/potentialPast: the republican cheerleaders on cnbc sound so detached from reality [+10] u/ercanbas: We could only take so much harassment [+9] u/Cold_Distribution273: You know we're in trouble when the only thing keeping oil down is lies and shorts. The strait isn't opening. [+9] u/Ok-Thought-9960: HOTTEST COUNTRY ON EARTH -SPRAYED TANNED STEAK SALESMAN [+9] u/Dorkasteri: Even if the war stops today we are fuct. As a trader, you might make money. As a long-term investor, you are fuct until 2027. Thx Obama. [+9] u/Yousoldmetohigh: My USO 120 calls for tomorrow that were worth $1 yesterday might be worth $3 today! [+9] u/Serious-Grapefruit20: Potential War Criminal Pete up all night [+9] u/Jimbeauxer: I cried all the way through my morning growler today because I shat post shower. Then I remembered I’m not a fucking animal and I own a bidet. [+9] u/night_shredder: I remember the good ol' times when SPY was stuck at 680 [+9] u/Valkorion335786: Anyone else so emotionally drained and burned out by leverything you’re one step away from ending it all? [+9] u/Fun_Purpose6972: In 1987, Iran threatened to close the Strait of Hormuz. The next day, US destroyed Iran's entire navy in Operation Praying Mantis, and started escorting tankers with it's powerful navy immediately. So what changed? Drones of course. Iran didn't have thousands of thousands of cheap Shaheds and cruise missiles. 1 month later, and the US Navy is still not even in the Persian Gulf! The US Navy is the world's largest and most powerful navy, and it cannot even open the Strait of Hormuz. The nearest US aircraft carrier is still 1000 km away, to stay safe from the range of Iraniian drones and missiles. The US military with is $1 trillion annual budget has been rendered useless. They said the Navy would begin to escort tankers within a month, and now here we are one month later, and the US navy is nowhere to be seen. [+9] u/DingleJingle_: Is Trump crashing out because the markets are not buying his BS this time? [+9] u/Ifuloseulose: So the market trusts Iran more than the U.S & Izzzraeel? Nice timeline [+9] u/clickyspinny: I’m up $15 fuck all of you losers [+9] u/Gom_KBull: War will be over SOON Just not as soon as SPY 600 [+9] u/OSRSkarma: Just put a 2 million poop coin downpayment on a house [+9] u/bigmeatbag: "Fuck your 15 points you pedo." - Iran [+9] u/Curious_scientist420: 🥭 new tweet dropped, not good [+9] u/Ok-Piano8789: are we really dumb enough to actually send marines into iran? its so obviously not going to work, its hard to believe lol [+9] u/looool_k_libtard: Fairly obvious at this point they’re going to have troops on the ground over the weekend. They don’t have this massive of a deployment so suddenly without one. It’ll be announced at 5 pm Friday of course after 🥭 tweets the next 2 days about a deal that doesn’t exist. [+9] u/Soffatjockis: France says 30-40% of the Arabs oil/gas production is destroyed. G fucking g. Well done mango. You just won the Greta Thunberg award. [+9] u/Eraxxy: not really enjoying this "stock" thing anymore. [+9] u/smart_doge: Next up: _Why are we worried about the war? DOW is above 40000!_ [+9] u/polosocks12345: We’re touching 640 by tomorrow. [+9] u/LeupMeisterGenral: Oh wait it’s actually over, it’s all fucked [+9] u/cyril1991: Warren Buffet peaced out at the right time [+9] u/Fitzaroo: Duality of man is seeing two posts on wsb claiming the exact opposite things. [+9] u/Ok_Abbreviations8440: With all the memes that Iran is posting, you know they’re not backing down [+9] u/VisualMod: **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/ShadowMoneyLurks** bet **SPY** goes from **651.83** to **640.0** before **27-Mar-2026 08:19 AM EDT** Their record is 1 wins and 16 losses. [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) [+8] u/Serious-Grapefruit20: Mango to his friends: buy puts at 4pm, watch this [+8] u/Nice-Truck8806: what if we tokenize iran, put in on a hardwallet, then put it in an MRI machine? [+8] u/Rick_12345: Dark days in this thread... I've read through 5 minutes of posts and haven't seen one person asking when the V is going to happen [+8] u/Serious-Grapefruit20: I thought mango got a present from Iran’s top guys lol [+8] u/sloanemonroe: History really is repeating itself. Pandemic 100 years ago and again in 2020. Market crash and depression 100 years ago and very likely again [+8] u/ihopethisworksfornow: “Welcome to *The Mangrove*” says The President, as he reveals his tangled bush seductively [+8] u/RomanJohnWick: Calls on mango to do some insider trading this morning? [+8] u/anerdknownaswill: Hey spy, thanks for being normal this morning [+8] u/RFKsBrainwormm: I’m gonna bend you bulls over a barrel and show you the 50 states [+8] u/Basis_404_: If you’re watching futures like a hawk in the middle of the night things are probably not going well for you [+8] u/No_Locksmith_7965: probably hitting 600 before 700 [+8] u/potentialPast: only rich, older people advocate for more defense spending [+8] u/RFKsBrainwormm: Good morning bulls, get ready for another day of getting your backs blown out [+8] u/DismalCreme4680: In the past people enrolled in armed forces because of patriotism, family history, but these days they enroll to payoff debts, or to get food, can these type of people really fight in a battle [+7] u/isolated-cat: oil futures are the most manipulated. they dumped it to 86 the other day on fake tweet, kept it below 90 so they can reload and pump it back up. most retarded futures of all time [+7] u/Disconn3cted: When boots are on the ground, do we recover or do we 2008? [+7] u/Fun-Age-5749: 650 is breakthrough point, if we reach that, from that point it will be a freefall [+7] u/GuwopGOAT: My gains are being evaporated in premarket [+7] u/HonestScar7176: Trump needs to get off truth social. [+7] u/edapalooza: This market, am I right? [+7] u/NameltHunny: If Iran doesn’t make a deal by noon they’re not invited to my birthday party. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER [+7] u/Ok-Thought-9960: I think we are closer to getting a presidential blue chew ad than ending the war with iran. This admin is gonna sell everything that isnt pinned down once the floor starts falling [+7] u/Bludeagle: it was a lie after all. \*shocked pikachu face\* [+7] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: 🌮 TWEET ANYTIME NOW BULLS ANY TIME [+7] u/Enjzey: before we only bet on TACO, now we bet on real or fake TACO [+7] u/wildcat1055: He bankrupted casinos??!?! You guys should have warned us before ... [+7] u/mechajlaw: Nothing says peace is just around the corner like removing restrictions on harming civilians. [+7] u/Paincoast89: guys stop buying it’s over [+7] u/seeking-health: Another day for red light therapy [+7] u/smart_doge: How will gobmint increase population if they’re gonna send healthy youth to fight a meaningless war or deal with hyper inflation ? [+7] u/Street-Badger: Nonzero probability of a Bay of Pigs style humiliation out of this. [+7] u/Fineous40: Thanks Grover Cleveland [+7] u/Rosebunse: Remember, everyone, if you take an early withdrawal from your 401K, be sure to have more taken out than you think you need for tax purposes. [+7] u/DingleJingle_: The fact that gold is dropping right now is insane to me. I feel lied to. Safe haven my ass. [+7] u/PoliticsIsDepressing: I swear most of you are regards thinking 🥭 had this situation under control. [+7] u/dunk4899: When you’re trying to figure out why the US is going down the toilet, just ask yourself, do you know the story of the paper clip? [+7] u/Soffatjockis: Monday is going to be fun after mango invades Iran on Friday after close. [+7] u/TheRiverStyx: The irony of industrialists making more money on the stock market than they can make with industry. [+7] u/svpa3991: Sold off some puts thinking markets would believe the guy for rest of the week but glad I held onto some lol [+7] u/jazzyjjcups: remember when the regard bols were here all these bragging about a +1% increase from mango about the war ending... where are you now? [+7] u/Soffatjockis: Who needs oil when you got vibes? [+7] u/Misrabligen: Likely big announcement on Friday after market close \- He canceled his fundraiser at Mar-a-Lago (He never misses those) \- He also canceled the DC big conference that he attends every year \- 35 C-17s have taken off, potentially carrying around 3,500 troops [+7] u/brute-forced: Joe Kernen is old, stupid and needs to retire [+7] u/the_mind_goblin1: it literally can't open. how can it open? all it takes is the threat of ONE DRONE to shut it down. [+6] u/ResidentPack4103: These fuks just been stair stepping us down all year so they can close out [+6] u/BerryExpress: its decided. im gonna watch every episode of Mike Tyson Mystery today. [+6] u/MarbledTheFoyer: If there's any others if you in here that arent bots just know that the political sentiment accounts are fully invading WSB right now. [+6] u/Moepenmoes: Can you guys do me a favor and use PowerPoint, Word or Excel more often? Maybe it'll push $MSFT back up, I kinda need the money. Thank you for your attention to this matter. [+6] u/Shoddy_Ad897: Zuck be drillin drillin drillin [+6] u/Pretty_Dragonfly_716: Today is over and it hasn’t even started. [+6] u/-SuperBatman: Dont worry, the draft will take your mind off your tiny port [+6] u/patelchief90: fact that tesla is worth more than MU absolute scam [+6] u/Spezalt4: I for one vote that President Bonespurs leads the charge on Kharg Island [+6] u/ShittyUsernane1222: before you buy calls or puts in this market, remember you are one 🥭 tweet away from bankruptcy. [+6] u/noahmfs: -2 % kind of day and tomorrow another -2.4%. Thanks for your attention to this matter! [+6] u/ShittyUsernane1222: it would be funny if US treasury defaulted mid US-Iran war due to Treasury getting short squeezed by Oil market. [+6] u/Serious-Grapefruit20: Wait mango is manipulating the market? [+6] u/ecoburner87: All morning pumps are fake and to be reversed in short order, all morning dumps are super real and will hold Scam market [+6] u/Kattilaeikka: They bought because war is over in 🥭's imagination lmao. Iran is the captain now. I reiterate my prediction SPY 400 in the summer and 200 eoy. [+6] u/noahmfs: We have not price in the recession yet bulls, just wait and see this is worse than 2008 [+6] u/HeavyArmsJin: Only oil calls Puts on everything [+6] u/davidbigham: Wait, i am bankrupt again. 😵‍💫 [+6] u/pussinbuuts: TOO MANY OF YALL FULL PORTED CALLS AT CLOSE AND NOW WE FUKT [+6] u/Fernyfern7: A second tweet has hit the nasdaq [+6] u/hiphopanonomos: LET'S get DOWN to BUSINESS to DEFEAT the HUNS [+6] u/smart_doge: Our ATH is stuck at strait of Hormuz [+6] u/Captain_Lameson: Since everyone is pretty much expecting an invasion over the weekend. The true market manipulation thing to do would be to announce the agreement on peace deal Sunday night [+6] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: Cooked jobs numbers, as expected [+6] u/camel_crush_menthol_: Are the markets starting to realize that our only two options now are either boots on the ground or give Iran concessions that effectively make them the gate keepers of the Strait??? [+6] u/kodaksdad2020: To those about to die, we salute you [+6] u/Awkward_Ad_5102: It’s amazing how we have all this technology to factcheck what people say / do, and all these laws to keep people in power in check, yet it takes one guy to say “fuck that” and it all comes tumbling down. [+6] u/damnthatbooty: So y’all feel like 40% infrastructure destruction is priced in yet yeah me neither [+6] u/Zfreezy: This girl asked me if I was a MeToo supporter and I was like I don’t know what that is, but I really like U2. Then I hit her with my Bono singing impression like  YEAH 👈😎👈 YEAH 👉😎👉 YEAH 👈😎👈 YEAH 👉😎👉 [+6] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: Quick: someone make a list of social media companies we can sue. RDDT. [+6] u/modder9: I love waking up to the smell of cooked bol [+6] u/shortitforever: 🍊The war is gonna be YUGE /👐 | [+6] u/Cold_Distribution273: My march 30 650ps that I bought yesterday when spy was at 657 are gonna be looking nicey. [+6] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: The Trumpstein War is entering Phase Two [+6] u/Trenavix: oh I forgot today is payday for me, don't worry everyone I will bump up the market by $0.0001 x10^(-19) [+6] u/claytondpark: Damn should've stayed with cash gang for a bit longer [+6] u/Swaggerpro: The Sash-Ringing, the Trash-Singing, Mash-Flinging, The Flash-Stringing, Ringing, The Cr-Crash-Dinging… Slasher? [+6] u/BoredPoopless: Fuck having money I guess [+6] u/Bignutly: 🥭 The Great Liquidator. [+6] u/smart_doge: I know we are joking here about energy crisis. But my physician wife educated me yesterday that with the sustained oil price increase, poor countries suffer more with power cuts or even generator pauses during the power cut in their healthcare. There are more deaths due to this dumbass that won’t be connected back to him. Fuck him! [+6] u/HDauthentic: Wait, you mean the market doesn’t like when the commander in chief of the most powerful military in the history of the world tweets at middle eastern nations like my racist grandpa? [+6] u/MooseyGoosey69: Well gents it's over [+6] u/cow_grass: Oil is not high enough [+6] u/G0RD0N_CLARK: Do you mean a tostada? Gringos man, I swear. [+5] u/Dude_HaHa: Bols:Trapped Hoes: Mad [+5] u/__nameless____: Man, fuck all these swings and actions outside of the market hours [+5] u/hippocrat: This just in: White House adding statue of Cesar Chavez to the grounds [+5] u/According-Page8618: we sold off 2/3 of the monday rip already :D [+5] u/Gom_KBull: Contrary to popular belief, bol love being broke Why else would they bet so wrong in the most obvious environment? # 〜⁠(⁠꒪⁠꒳⁠꒪⁠)⁠〜 [^(KEEN TOCKY)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJOiIRuF0CA&t=4339s) [+5] u/Helios-Sol: #WHOS PORT IS RED BE HONEST [+5] u/DanqueLeChay: OECD US inflation forecast: 4.2% [+5] u/spez_eats_nazi_ass: My puts are printing and my oil calls are right on schedule. I'm a bolber. I'm here to fuck. [+5] u/Putrid_Pollution3455: Blessed are those who post loss porn, for they should be comforted (and maybe we can learn from your mistakes). [+5] u/PhotoSpheres: Why doesn’t Trump just cast “domain expansion: nuclear hellscape” on Iran? [+5] u/CEO-of-SOXL: Hi I’m a new bear and I demand fair valuation for my stonks. They are too overpriced. Drop spy now [+5] u/Helios420A: uh oh, a Waymo saw it’s shadow, that’s 8 more red weeks for google [+5] u/LarryStink: The only thing investors are afraid of is not being long enough when Trump "Tacos" And that is extremely fuking unstable. [+5] u/astromouse2024: So it’s looking like a -2% kinda day then [+5] u/Historical_Bother274: UH OH BOLS START BEGGING FOR THAT NEW TWEET [+5] u/patricktu1258: Oil and gold haven’t gone back to monday’s level but stock are already cooked… [+5] u/guzzledglizzy: I hate having money, I’m gonna fund my Robinhood account again [+5] u/Mean_Office_6966: Where is the V I was promosed [+5] u/Borderpotroll: I love that guy’s write up on why this time is different and how the worlds ending, so his solution is 100% puts expiring in 8 months lmao. What a fucking moron. 100%?! Must be new here [+5] u/guy_cloutier: Bulls need to post dated headlines in capslock [+5] u/Bxdwfl: Huh, looks like Iran doesn't eat tacos [+5] u/Few_Egg3567: It was the 📎 all along [+5] u/spellbadgrammargood: >Jury decides YouTube, Meta should pay $6 million in damages after finding them negligent in landmark trial $6 MILLION.. Yo the internet made me addicted to hentai and gambling, where my money??? [+5] u/Weak_Ostrich459: Someone please put a password on his phone [+5] u/Ready-Tennis8577: Woke up with a fat boner after a good nights sleep. Positions are positive. Love is back in the air I’m so gay im back to the original meaning of happy [+5] u/hv876: Peak WSB today. There is one post saying this is a “dip buying opportunity”. And a few hours before that there was a post saying it isn’t a “dip buying opportunity”. Dear Jesus, give me a sign. [+5] u/joycaptain: Are Republicans woke? [+5] u/RFKsBrainwormm: ATTENTION RETARDS: The new directive is to destroy TSLA 🚗💥 Thank you for your attention to this matter. [+5] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Just an oil baron with a profit calculator and a dream [+5] u/Scalpaholic: Market is clearly not the economy, but when else ever in history have rallies been so dependent on job losses, as a metric of progress? People losing their jobs to AI = bullish! Rate cuts because people lost jobs to AI = bullish! Now it's reaching a more disturbing correlation where every rally = more deaths in a war because of "Truths" counter to reality. That's just Satanic. 🫩 Also, good news shoppers, we're serving a special version on 🍟 with Blackened chili powder to mark the occasion. [+5] u/AbrocomaNegative825: Hey! 🙂 its good to know all the big moves happen at night! Helps me focus more during the day knowing that everything will be about the same when i get home 😉 [+5] u/mayorolivia: They really gonna bring Micron’s forward PE to below 3 [+5] u/Low-Win-6691: 🥭 spent the last 15 years thinking about war with Iran as a get out of jail free card for a US president [+5] u/McTurtleAteMyCalls: Remember 🌮bond market trigger from last year’s tariff pause was the 10y yield spiking to ~4.5% [+5] u/jazzyjjcups: that pump didn't last at all lmao [+5] u/hunnna: When do the new "I did that" stickers drop? We still doing that? [+5] u/Ernest_EA: He can’t TACO out of this one. I thinks it’s over for us bulls [+5] u/johns2289: Why’s vix keep vixxing? [+5] u/TheWizardOfFries: Bulls who are about to die, we salute you [+5] u/DoesntUnderstandJoke: Ornamental gourds are safe from the war [+5] u/drpa1n: I still want revenge for being blown to smithereens by that pre market pump on Monday. If we don’t see those lows again by tomorrow close I’m gonna be big mad 😠 [+5] u/arothen: It's hilarious that people just forget that when bessent wakes up the oil is going to drop 5$ [+5] u/looool_k_libtard: Oh cool port down a lot again [+5] u/No_Locksmith_7965: I think monday we’re gonna have peace and tuesday we’re gonna really hammer at war, [+5] u/Specialist_Spite5930: Please don't do anything harsh. All kidding aside, it sucks when people succumb to hardships because of stupid assholes waging war. Just hang on to it and be strong, don't do anything crazy. [+43] u/dralva: 🥭 thinks he’s negotiating with Iran, when it’s some dude in India trying to get him to go to Target to get gift cards. [+23] u/Guilty-Deer-2147: Betting the entire future and economy on energy intensive chatbots and then starting a global energy crisis right after 🤡 [+21] u/billyd1984texas: Is this idiot really going to try an invasion? [+20] u/CaptCookbook: Iran grabbed us by the Hormussy. [+20] u/jlw993: Just think where the market would be if trump did nothing but play golf since getting elected again [+19] u/Competitive_Wind7738: War is over. Thank you for your attention to the matter [+19] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Im 42, I can't get drafted. My knees popping will give up our location. [+18] u/KYEEZY98: Shit getting so bad I smoked a Marlboro Light last night [+18] u/FartPolluter: UAE whining in the WSJ. Presumably highlighting the risks to the global supply of tax dodging manosphere bloggers if USA doesnt fight their sectarian battles for them. [+18] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #FIFA Peace Maker struggling to make a deal LMAO [+18] u/ArisZG: Yall need to calm the fuck down. Seriously. Yall are acting like theres a war with a crazy middle eastern country that can collapse all the oil production market in the middle east. Even if thst was happening, yall are acting like we have a crazy president with a stick that keeps poking them to do it. Seriously calm the fuck down [+17] u/CastAside1812: Once again coming here for Iran news updates. The WorldNews sub is utterly useless because they banned 70% of their users. [+17] u/Select-Roll-4041: Have you tried putting the strait of Hormuz in rice? [+17] u/FabulousLanguage6216: If Iran surrenders I will name my first born Hormuz. He will not be straight but at least will be rich. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! [+16] u/DefiantDelta: the one day i wear a suit to work a pigeon shits on my shoulder. how can i blame this on woke [+16] u/ervelee: What we need right now is a mid war alternative halftime show with Kid Rock. [+16] u/FunInteraction9796: realistically israel is gonna keep us in the war, not sure why anyone thinks this is over [+15] u/michaelis999: maybe buls will now finally understand that the market doesn't have any real reason to go up except if manipulated by the manipulator in chief (fake pump) [+15] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Selling SPY 690C on FB Marketplace. I know what I got. No lowballers!!!! [+15] u/Abe2025: At 40 years old ill join the draft I just need to be in bed by no later than 8pm and take my acid reflux pills [+15] u/dontlikeyacutG: !banbet its been an honor, see you next week [+14] u/No-Put2311: Anyone got a timer on 🥭 ult? Should be off cooldown soon [+14] u/Cullen8228: +$26. For the week💪🏻 [+14] u/oldprecision: Why Mango angry, I thought they gave him a very valuable prize? [+14] u/Bcider: Man I almost forgot we are in a government shutdown. [+14] u/All_FIREdUp: Sooo, the U.S. is sending several thousand initial response troops in an obvious upcoming ground invasion. But they *haven’t* prepared a large reinforcement of troops which could take months to prepare and deploy over. So they are expecting an easy take over, likely of Kharg Island, and a short occupation by several thousand troops. I can’t help but feel like hundreds of soldiers are being sent to their death trying to occupy this island. The U.S. is NOT prepared for a modern drone battle and swarms of low flying Shahed drones. This is going to be a fucking disaster. [+14] u/rcantu314: They called him sleepy joe because you could actually sleep at night 🤌🤌🤌 [+14] u/BillyShears2015: 🥭 stans still haven’t realized that we’re at the point in this war where if it were a business deal 🥭 would have already decided, “we’ll just ride it out and declare bankruptcy” [+13] u/kojima_you_genius: remember when that guy shit his pants on live TV, sigh, those were the days [+13] u/GoldenAries4: There’s some serious sell pressure going on. Bounces are getting weaker and weaker gradually giving up ground each time. I don’t even think this is the drill yet. [+13] u/New-Length5593: FUCKED AND I MEAN FUCKED [+13] u/Concerned_Fanboy: Yeah we didnt think Afghanistan would be 20 years long at the time either [+13] u/Neat-Concentrate-239: finding out this sub existed will forever remain the absolute worst day of my life [+13] u/daedalus_dance: HAVE YOU TRIED SWITCHING THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ OFF AND ON AGAIN? [+13] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Did we really expect anything else from this dumbass? [+13] u/Fkn1v1mem8: BREAKING NEWS: Peace ceasefire Initiated by 3000 82nd airborne troops peacefully bring a peace fire cease deal to Iran. President 🥭 has received a very good prize. Some say the best prize. [+13] u/StraitOfHummus: Based on the repeated, "there are no negotiations, we hate America" refrain from Iran, I think a deal might be close. [+13] u/HomeworkIntrepid2986: Insider trading is only illegal if you don’t tell the rich too. The poors are allowed, nay expected to lose money. If they didn’t want to they would stop being poor. [+13] u/DragsterMC: I don’t know why people permabull and permabear I’ll be a bull again when 🥭is out of office lmao [+13] u/ReflectionFit2384: Because the president is a pedo and is trying to distract from that fact. [+12] u/Upset-Motor-2602: Boots on the ground, boots on the ground -- looking like a fool with boots on the ground.... [+12] u/No-Improvement3164: The market will have a negative return the next 3 years yet the guy in charge will have 5000% returns [+12] u/Bonkers119: Boots on the ground announced Friday at 4:01pm [+12] u/wbradford00: Is this what 🥭 meant when he said "drill baby drill"? [+12] u/Czyzzle: Open the Strait of America! [+12] u/peterpeer9: hahaha jokes on you market, those life savings that are down 50% only took me 20 years to save up not 40 years [+12] u/Internal_Field5970: How’s our little Warren Buffet doing? [+12] u/enc-nyc: This might be the dumbest war operation in history so far. They probably asked ChatGPT to analyze it. [+12] u/OrdinaryMix4013: if you like unleaded gas at 1.90 like taco said, youre gonna love it at 8 bucks a gallon. [+12] u/chuastan: Probably not see a republican president for 20 yrs [+11] u/JPenniman: Imagine the economy dealing with tariffs, collapse of AI, and the inflation from this war all at the same time. [+11] u/greenchaos: i chose a less than ideal time to go all in on GOOG [+11] u/Morocier: aint mad at trump for tweeting. Thats what he does. But Im fuckin livid with the market for believing that shit all week. [+11] u/ConsiderationKey1658: About to go hard on some hash browns [+11] u/Boheed: please my market it's very sick [+11] u/Kashabowiekid: BREAKING: Israel wanted to assassinate Iran's Foreign Minister Aragchi and speaker Ghalibaf and had coordinates of their movements, but Pakistan warned the US against it, per Reuters. Pakistan told the US that if Israel kills Aragchi and Ghalibaf, “there will be no one left in Iran to talk to,” and the strikes were called off. So they haven’t learned from the first time. This war is so so so far from over [+11] u/Concerned_Fanboy: I weep for gen Z having to eat sand in their MREs I really do, but watching Mango have to literally beg Iran on the world stage is really, really funny to me. [+11] u/DufflebagJoe: Bols are so desperate they think SPY jumping 30 cents is a rally LOL [+11] u/Weekly_One8412: all the moves are overnight now [+11] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #retard tryna mnake a deal with himself lmaoooo [+10] u/ibetyouliketes: Boots on ground because can't lose face [+10] u/jijitalk: I DON’T EVEN CARE THAT I’M IN THE CASINO. I’M GONNA CRY NOW BWA HOU HOU 😭😭😭 FUCK YOU 🥭 YOU STUPID POS [+10] u/ThatsTodd: Between the ages of 18-42? Fear getting drafted? Beat them to the punch and join the military. Now you can’t be drafted. Big brain moves. [+10] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: my port looks like that scene in batman when the joker lights up the entire pile of cash [+10] u/Illustrious_Pair2990: I did enough LSD to never worry about getting drafted [+10] u/OkExercise4093: Oh yes, jobless claims is at the exact same number as te forecast. Not cooked at all [+10] u/longGERN: Was there even a concept of a plan that wasn't fucking over the average person [+10] u/Noble_Bastard: 🥭 off his meds again [+10] u/Graymyst: Donnie needs to tweet something positive, like how the ballroom is almost completed over and is the most impressive and strong ballroom of all times ever. [+10] u/jmc774: Red again huh. I'm almost getting used to it [+10] u/Independent-Visit139: wtf were those videos the White House posted and deleted all quick [+10] u/watisdat: Just a reminder: 4 day week next week - stock market closed on Friday. [+10] u/Kind-Recognition4528: Gonna fullport 3x leverage on 5 random things 30 min into open. Gonna do a slow 20-25 minute wank. Then sell everything. Lets see what happens. [+10] u/hermeskino715: Again, big move outside regular hours. Let me guess, chop until headline mode? [+10] u/Czyzzle: There is literally no catalyst up. Calls it is [+10] u/Just_Learned_This: Is this your first time trading war in the middle east? [+10] u/IronSnatchKitty: We are gonna crab so hard today. [+10] u/g4romja: War talks not going well. [+10] u/Concerned_Fanboy: # Iran status: Feelin' cute, might open the strait today for Malaysia ;) [+10] u/Ok-End-3213: This back n forth shit gets old [+10] u/oldprecision: He has a unique opportunity to raise rates in his first meeting and complete the meltdown of 🥭. [+9] u/Puzzleheaded_Owl_417: Decided to sell all my US assets to buy Iran assets. [+9] u/BlackKnightsOptions: Sick of the big moves happening after hours. making us blind gamble options to hold overnight [+9] u/entrycube: We are winning so hard I’m tired of winning, just as you predicted, Mr 🌮 [+9] u/AlarmedPelican: qqq puts were a seven bagger for me yesterday when iran put out their asks. itching to lose it all today o7 [+9] u/Think-Mongoose-4864: here come the premarket pumpers lol [+9] u/Level_Counter3062: Premarket V will be annihilated within an hour [+9] u/elvee61: 22 minutes. Piss, smoke, coffee, pick up kleenex for crying and get your asses back in here. [+9] u/scarneo: Everyday I am promised chaos What is this shit, chaos for ants? [+9] u/OsamaBagHolding: # 90 TANKERS IN 90 DAYS!!!! [+9] u/unpaid-astroturfer: They're desperate to negotiate with us, but also they're not serious about negotiating with us. [+9] u/alexmark002: 100% cash rn, so scared to go long or short. feeling like crash is coming but also the bottom will take place only takes a tweet from Trump. WTF [+9] u/yushey__: Msft just please 1 scam pump [+9] u/PeeOnDusk: Monday Wednesday pump, Tuesday Thursday Friday tank. It’s been like that since war started [+9] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: Godspeed to all you regards, shit is about to hit the fan [+9] u/Concerned_Fanboy: >Axios’s report presents four major “final blow” options being discussed: invade or blockade Kharg Island, Iran’s major oil export hub; invade Larak, an island that helps [Iran](https://www.theguardian.com/world/iran) solidify its control over the strait of Hormuz; seize the strategically important island of Abu Musa and two smaller islands; block or sieze ships that are exporting Iranian oil in the eastern side of the strait of Hormuz. Yikes, buy puts [+9] u/StraitOfHummus: Trump's entire weekend has been cancelled. Do you think this could be for a secret event to celebrate the end of the war? [+9] u/Napster-mp3: Get the creator of Windows 95 minesweeper on the fucking phone right now [+8] u/AfraidAnalyst: Wonder who ported calls yesterday for today [+8] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: If Iran said they would stop but only if 🥭 apologized on his knees while on national television, I don’t think he could do it. Iran’s regime has got to go but not like this. There’s no plan or anything resembling a plan. [+8] u/Ready_Scratch_1902: drone defense. if there's a stock for that im all in [+8] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Breaking: boots on the ground soon Friday after market closes: lol jk [+8] u/Internal_Field5970: Feels like, for me personally, it would be more chill if the market was up [+8] u/Leather_Mention5916: Weinstein? Apstein? Wat was his name again? [+8] u/knoqd_: Who’s buying SpaceX at $2T lol [+8] u/The_Alan_Greenspan: Let’s break through 650 today, *as a team*. [+8] u/Czyzzle: Imma be drinking 10W-30 today [+8] u/daedalus_dance: Iran just lowered the age for military support roles to 12 years old and TACO is like "GET SERIOUS." Dude, how serious do you want them to get? They're arming their Barron. [+8] u/Thotmas01: SPY looks better at 500. It’s in the name innit. [+8] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: Looking at the members of 🥭’s council of advisors on science and tech like, this isn’t even the B team. This is the fail team [+8] u/neo-futurism: SEC u exist? Or u stuck at Mar-a-Lago [+8] u/Guilty-Deer-2147: Just made $9 in premarket trading [+8] u/Internal_Field5970: It’s crazy, there’s like 3 people that support this war and 2 of them is Lindsey Graham and the other is whoever he’s in the stall with [+8] u/ThoseGelInsertThings: You are about to be pressed through a fine metal screen for your country this morning. [+8] u/Ok_Persimmon9849: I think people are underestimating how much the giant insider trading before the tweet has scared the normies. This was on mainstream news networks, my parents knew about it. Now also consider the market hasn't been pricing in an oil shortage AND the AI bubble looks primed to burst. It's gonna be a wild couple of days! [+8] u/Extension-Ad917: 54% of institutional investors thinking this is going to end by end of Apr makes me think we have a long way to fall [+8] u/YepRabbit: Obviously Trump forgot to announce win over Iran this morning [+8] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: These criminals are just going to pin it all day after a short pump or drop, let theta destroy everything and then do the actual movement overnight like they keep doing lately. [+8] u/Concerned_Fanboy: Axios is citing 4 sources for an island ground invasion by US forces. You better get the fuck out now [+8] u/Clarksonism: Now watch the Houthis block the Mandab in a couple of minutes [+8] u/LongroddMcHugendong: This market is going to OD on hopium [+8] u/Antique-Flight-5358: So we want a ceasefire but KILLED the Iranian Navy COmmander...WELL RIP ceasefire [+8] u/spyputs1: I personally am enjoying Tango’s pompous ass squirm between losing the war, the stock market, and gas prices. Crumbling like a bish [+8] u/Wisesize: No regrets being 80% cash. I’ll get back in after mid terms [+8] u/Several_Bread_9144: Mongo likes to negotiate in front of the mirror [+7] u/Business-Today646: Markets going to have me out here fighting folks for pokemon cards soon [+7] u/knoqd_: My neighbour is drilling into my ears while the market is drilling my ass [+7] u/alphawafflejack: I miss when the daily allowed memes [+7] u/rollinhating: lets see spy test 645 today then 620 tomorrow and <600 monday. [+7] u/kairepaire: Stocks only go up. Except this year. Bols are fuk [+7] u/Responsible-Rip8793: This is going to be a BAD year. A very bad year [+7] u/Upset-Motor-2602: Early reports from my Asian friends, the fuel situation is getting worse. Long lines at the pump, even in Australia. With France reporting energy stress, I am sure Mango is feeling it in his bones or wherever to find an exit to the mess he created. [+7] u/Ghost-1969: Sir we're ready to deploy the "Iran talks progressing smoothly" tweet 🥭 - wait till market close today so you can buy the dip again 🚀 [+7] u/makhnosfork: How long til we sue robinhood for making us gambling addicts. [+7] u/No-Improvement3164: Ain’t no one buying his Bull Shit anymore. It’s over. [+7] u/FullCopy: You don’t have losses in your account. It just went on a little excursion. [+7] u/civillyRange: When you're done shidding and you start wiping and then you start shidding again I'm calling out of work sick [+7] u/gavbot_1213: I often wonder what WSB would have been like if it were around in the ‘08 crash. Would people have claimed to keep buying the dip? Would it be bull vs bear? Would it get really fucking depressing when everyone realized it would take about 10 years to financially recover? [+7] u/watisdat: Finally out of banbet jail. I bet SPY’s at 700 now. [+7] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: Careful regards, you know they have no problem playing dirty with fake tweets. [+7] u/Mumblage: Realised a loss today and feel weirdly happy about it. Thank fuck I am out. Godspeed, regards 🫡 [+7] u/elcasar: What if this is all a feint and we invade Penguin Island instead? [+7] u/Weak_Emu3659: "And let me tell you - Iran, they begged for a deal. Begged. Like a dog." [+7] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: Stop being bearish in here, you're gonna ruin my 654 puts [+7] u/Les7X: Oil acting all retarded again [+7] u/kjl8921: Tied of this clown ass timeline. Clown ass market [+7] u/Internal_Field5970: 🥭 and Yahoo:  I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast  🇮🇷 You eat pieces of shit for breakfast 🤣 [+7] u/iiGoodVibesii: Buying BlackBerry calls! [+7] u/NIM89: They put so much lipstick on the pig this week [+7] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: Think about the dumbest person you know talking geopolitics with you. And now imagine them making real decisions that impact us all with a yapping alcoholic chihuahua in their ear. Yup, we’re fucked. [+7] u/Important_Yoghurt722: Overnight calls got bent over [+7] u/bluen: Is mango negotiating with a fake Iranian? [+7] u/qx2: Cramer is saying buy! [+7] u/EncryptedMyst: Genuinely wtf are you supposed to buy other than 50x leveraged oil futures [+7] u/csekseni1: 🥭writing a new book. It’s called: “Concept of a framework of the deal” [+7] u/QuarkTheFerengi: 35% up today, think im done [+7] u/Fine-Will: META and MSFT racing to 0, and they are both winning. [+7] u/CulturalConclusion76: SPY crumbling to dust [+7] u/Templar_Swamp_Stake: I don’t want to add insult to injury but you shouldn’t be putting money in stonks or even indices if you need it in the next 2-3 years for exactly this reason. [+6] u/codespyder: Google's dying and I'm crying [+6] u/Mother_Big9112: How could Biden do this [+6] u/Whoopziedaisy: They say Rome didn’t fall in a day They’ll say Washington didn’t fall from the first Truth [+6] u/Guhbigly: I’m devastated. Why did I buy calls on a green day 😔 [+6] u/Interesting-Bite-468: " It's just another RED DAY THURSDAY, ouhhh, ouaaaahhh.... WISH IT WERE SUNDAY " [+6] u/HaveTwoBananas: Wait but 🥭 said we were winding down [+6] u/HolographicHeart: Going to leave these UNH bags for my kids so they'll wonder if I ever loved them. [+6] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Going to keep buying MSFT and META until I'm broke. Don't care if they go to zero. I'm going down with the ship. Both of their forward P/Es are now 20 or lower. [+6] u/hioman01: Focus on your shift, don't open the app today [+6] u/ayashifx55: What has U.S done to deserve SPY being over 600? Nothing other than lying over lies! [+6] u/Morocier: I know this place is still infested with metal roaches. The second Silver turns up they start scurrying out from behind the fridge. What will it take to kill you?! [+6] u/Snoo23417: Trump is sounding more and more desperate. Has he realized by now that he's been played? [+6] u/Amitriptylinekoning: My casino is bankrupt [+6] u/ConstantSpace5809: You wanted MSFT to be green, this is the cost [+6] u/7fingersDeep: Countdown to TACO tweet to reverse the market in 5...4...3...2... [+6] u/WholeFront2789: I don't see anything wrong here [+6] u/Commercial_Seat_3704: Never thought I'd be dusting off my MSFT $180 meme but it might be time [+6] u/Electrical-Prize5445: USO at 92% short interest? Damn. What does inside money know that we don’t? [+6] u/Own_Eggplant9896: Instead of giving money to a financial dominatrix, I just keep buying MSFT [+6] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: The US should also start placing mines in the strait to push China’s hand. China would be quick to call off the issue if suddenly they stop getting oil. Iran loses funding. [+6] u/FartPolluter: Ground troops look all but confirmed judging by congress statements following breifing. The cope mines of Kharg Island shall be free [+6] u/12justanotherlurker: Houthis about to enter the chat. Full retard here we come [+6] u/Options_tarded: It’s fucked that the market only moves AH. Then trades sideways during trading hours. Gap up/down AH. Sideways on trading rinse repeat. I guess the SEC only cares about retail making too much money [+6] u/ShadowMoneyLurks: Lets get this party started 💅 [+6] u/Concerned_Fanboy: "Indirect" peace talks are honestly the best kind of peace talks [+6] u/Paul_Robert_: These 1% daily price movements are fuckin' crazy, but now I'm kinda used to it 💀 [+6] u/I_Study_The_Patterns: Microslop is green beotches! [+6] u/TripleChen_LLC: I need a post from Trump that says “just like that and it’s over” he comes on TV and explain that IRAN has agreed to a modified plan to open the strait and they will be getting $500k per ship. [+6] u/Ryu6912: The bad news is the world is imploding, the good news is I’m going to make 1000$ in 3 days cause I sold a bearish call credit spread on greedy LITE bulls [+6] u/Ninefingerzs: God dammit bols why couldn’t yall be more stoopid so I can load up on mo puts [+6] u/SeaofSounds: You people need to stop losing money....... [+6] u/Illustrious-Low4128: Sold my $1600 overnight puts for a 100% gain. Always nice to start my day with a little win before I go on to lose thousands [+6] u/Stryker9110: This is the new self in may go away phrase: “Sell in March or eat starch” [+6] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: 2+ more years of this nonsense ....if God's not willing 🙏 [+5] u/Vegetable_Push6542: 🥭, I'm tired of all this winning [+5] u/sck178: I've said it before and I'll say it again. BULLS. IN. SHAMBLES [+5] u/hioman01: Company whose name contains "micro" sucks [+5] u/sungurse: So GOOG is the reason for MU and stuff going down, but what is the reason for GOOG to go down this hard? [+5] u/sck178: Treasuries go uppies, equities go downies Clifford emoji!!!! [+5] u/Leather_Mention5916: Im not going to time the market, im not going to time the market, im not going tot time the market. Im going to lose it all with this regime!! [+5] u/OkRecommendation1040: Msft only down 0.5% is a green day [+5] u/elvee61: I'm not sure how I would feel if the ballroom caught a missile. Wait, no. Now that I picture it in my head, I'm actually very clear on it. [+5] u/neverthy: Google announced they made a technology which will reduce memory usage. Meaning memory companies gonna shit the bed? [+5] u/Immediate-Coast-5066: what percentage is 400million out of 600 billion - this is headline in cnbc * Apple will spend $400 million through 2030 on new programs with Bosch, Cirrus Logic, TDK, and Qnity Electronics to manufacture essential materials and components in the U.S. * The expansion builds on Apple’s American Manufacturing Program, a cornerstone of the company’s $600 billion, four-year commitment to U.S. manufacturing and innovation. [+5] u/Level_Counter3062: Venezuela, Iran, it's all prequels to China and Taiwan. Always has been [+5] u/livingunique: U.S. import prices rose 1.3% in February, the biggest increase in 4 years Core import prices rose 3.0% year-over-year, showing a weaker dollar [+5] u/EdAlex1993: No wonder no one wants to invest into US market anymore. There are plenty better options around at the moment [+5] u/Zimoula: Fake spike up at open then directly to 650.72, if breaks it then lower [+5] u/Neader: Mmmmmm drrroooooooooppppppp [+5] u/Yasqweenn: Golden showers bring May flowers [+5] u/hermeskino715: Does AMD not know there's a war going on or has Lisa Su been signing titties recently? [+5] u/No_Fig_7835: Aww yes, the market playing the classic elementary playground game of: Red Light, Green Light, Reg Light, Green Light [+5] u/vermilli21: Do I even bother to load puts when SPY is already -.80% for the day. Seems like a V will happen and I can’t instantly fucked [+5] u/Immediate_Type4095: Bought puts last minute of yesterday market open, sold them first minute at open this shit is too easy [+5] u/StopAndThinkPleaseTy: I feel bad for that 505 MSFT calls guy [+5] u/ai___________: We have 8 straight red Thursday and who would’ve thought today’s red [+5] u/Illustrious_Pair2990: Weekend is almost here but I still feel hungover from last weekend [+5] u/grimandnordic1: Fuck bro im not winning at all [+5] u/andytobbles: Silver just got pearl harbored [+5] u/Seymour_asis501: Rock hard to gamble at open [+5] u/Hot-Ambassador8740: We going to 640 today or nah? [+5] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: you know that algos are in charge of trading now because humans actually would just start selling it all because they understand that trump only lies, only algos react to his posts. or maybe they bet on other believing trump [+5] u/SeaweedLeft9746: Reality catching up with 🥭 [+5] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: you know its all fucked when the markets trust iran more than the us [+5] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: I'm gonna need a PP loan after this. [+5] u/youbenchbro: Why is everyone talking about olive oil? [+5] u/thrillho145: Sick of losing money with shares Stupid war [+5] u/NsRhea: I'm curious how the HBO deal backed by Saudi still looks after Saudi has to prop up their social programs with 0 income. [+5] u/FullCopy: Hilarious some people thought there was a deal to end the way. [+5] u/spumpadiznik: Pamp it……^into ^the ^ground [+5] u/FunInteraction9796: first 30 min will be a bloodbath, maybe buy calls around 10:30 tho [+5] u/betaforever: Breaking news : Cabinet considers a heartfelt apology to the Supreme Leader [+5] u/Flashy_Produce_3875: I kinda like being ber, when I make money [+5] u/ImHungryAsFuck: SPY breaks under that 651 the bloodbath begins [+5] u/Zestyclose-Paint2194: I took a fat shit today and look at it First thought came to mind What are you doing there market [+5] u/neo-futurism: Unless scam candle saves it. GG boys [+5] u/mmjI: oil been the easiest trade of my life this week [+5] u/hioman01: But the DOW was at 50,000! [+5] u/picopw: Bulls need to lock in [+5] u/jda823: Can't wait for the new surrender narrative to come out at 10 [+5] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Why are we at war again? [+5] u/General-Elk-6537: 4 minutes until we lose our money and give it back [+5] u/grimandnordic1: 2 mins until my calls evaporate 😫 [+5] u/Nixievibe: I keep promising myself not to be too greedy with profits. But here I am again, not learning from past mistakes. [+5] u/whyshw: The low was on Friday. Nothing but sunshine and lollipops from here on out [+5] u/Slow-Astronaut-2135: Wonder how that dude that ported 100k into USO calls after the clear bullshut pump tweet is feeling right now. Pretty good id assume. [+5] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: There'll be no election by 2048 [+20] u/ProudPeak3570: mango lost the leverage he had of the mighty military but now Iran found out they can defend themselves with walmart missiles. Any deal is not gonna be as favorable to the US anymore ART OF THE DEAL [+19] u/Low_Trick4604: When I don't trade, it goes the exact way I thought it would. When I do, I bomb my whole account. Send help [+16] u/PositiveToe2761: Got my friend into options. He texted me 30 minutes before market open “ lambo time”. The text I just got : “ it in fact was not lambo time” [+15] u/Competitive_Lion_379: jumped into spy puts as it sky rockets. story of my life. [+15] u/manhuskycorgi: I love having my morning coffee and visiting this sub for the comments. [+15] u/AlasKansastan: I can't do this anymore. These swings are way, way too much. I'm tired of waking up and wondering how much donald trump is going to take from me today [+15] u/69spacecadet69420: How u gonna rally the moment I buy 0dte puts [+15] u/legible_print: A market that takes 🥭’s bullshit tweets seriously is not an efficient market [+14] u/NoodHigga69: This market is retarded [+14] u/DCrebuilds: Oh this pump isn't going to last long huh [+14] u/MaxVerstudpen: Hormuz literally translates to "smooth sailing" and you're still buying puts? (I made this up) [+14] u/notarocitnerd: chatgpt told me that none of this iran stuff even matters at all. folks we are good dont worry [+14] u/Randomname1157: Trump is about to speak at a cabinet meeting. It is going to be an epic taco and it's going to be 100% fake but he's going to make so much stuff up that the market's going to pump 1%. I'm buying calls now. Who is with me [+14] u/Aldribuds: +90% of the boomers I know are absolute trash [+13] u/OkResponsibility2470: There was literally no reason this was goin pump. So obviously it was going to pump and I bought calls. Unbeatable DD [+13] u/blackboro: 7% Mortgage Rates $5.50 Diesel 5% 20Y Yield Frozen Job Market War in Iran ($11.2B spent) Soaring National Debt I’m so tired of winning [+13] u/bringkiteback: I really wanna buy puts but this shit is rigged [+13] u/McKoijion: American “proposals” and Iranian “demands.” Lol the media is free because it’s propaganda. [+12] u/Comprehensive-Eye547: Puts when spy is green [+12] u/klippklar: Dip buyers might just be the most annoying people out there, right up there with people blasting mobile games on full volume on the tram. It’s like a compulsion, they see red, they click no matter the timeframe or the context. [+12] u/FrostySoftPressure: New day new bull trap [+12] u/Iamhappilyconfused: Damn they're not letting it fall, I hope it goes back to 651... yes I have puts that I bought now [+12] u/ThinCrusts: This is just gambling at this point [+11] u/Bright_Interaction73: I went from 3k->14k->6k->$300. Only a WSB regard can pull off this shit. [+11] u/Bloomeyer: nah fuck off im done [+11] u/BlauerDunst420: https://preview.redd.it/rot65j4s9erg1.png?width=660&format=png&auto=webp&s=5f4958b8a4155016878b31b01f141f33649de4e0 me when i look at the markets rn [+11] u/crazyfool319: I come to WSB to find all the world oil experts aka 19 year olds with 2k in their Robinhood accounts going all in on OTM 1dte USO calls [+11] u/humanoideric: Oh look all the price movement happened after closing again and now it will just bounce around like a regard all day unless the dumbest person you know tweets some vague thing about global policy that he controls for some reason [+11] u/Tanpopomon: >Yemen’s Houthis say they’re ready to join Iran if needed: Report # SPY PUMPS LMAO [+11] u/ProudPeak3570: lmfao market refuses to go down. ITs just a casino at this point. Even if they used a nuke it would probably rally back [+11] u/pizzascholar: Just fuggin pick a direction would ya [+11] u/hayleybts: Art of the deal is losing the war [+11] u/GrossFleshSack: Guarantee trump is going to come out for this meeting and just say the same things theyve been saying over and over, Iran is completely defeated blah blah blah, everything is great, dont worry about it, Iran is going to surrender tomorrow! [+11] u/mugirawraw: Can we just go 642 and get it over with bruh [+11] u/Normal_Tap3021: Can this shit crash already [+11] u/ChampionshipOdd947: You know how some terminally ill people feel really good right before they die? I feel like that's what's about to happen here. [+11] u/Solid-Season9984: Both calls and puts got fucked this week, pinned at 6600 all week. Credit spreads were clearly the move. [+11] u/spsteve: IRAN: Fuck your offer Houthis: Yeah fuck that offer, we're going to shut shit down (soon, we think, maybe). Mangoman: They are desperate and wanted me to tbe their new supreme leader. (yeah he REALLY said that). Pentagon: Only 23% of people age 17-24 are fit to serve due to academic performance, obesity, mental health or criminal records. OKAY... FUCKING LOL that the market isn't down about a half billion points at this juncture. Someone get anyone else in charge please.. this is beyond stupid now. [+11] u/legbreaker: Gold dropping in the middle of a crash means people are liquidating to cover margin calls. Freak the fuck out [+11] u/Iunatic: It either goes up or down. Good insight [+10] u/JustLightChop: According to Reuters, citing an unnamed Houthi leader, the Houthis are prepared to resume strikes against commercial and naval shipping in and around the Bab el Mandeb Strait and the Red Sea, potentially opening a second front against a second key thoroughfare of trade in the region. [+10] u/ThinCrusts: Fuck your puts and fuck your calls. They're both gonna get obliterated if you bought today by theta decay [+10] u/Irishbros1991: People read that Iran responded and it was positive LMAO they gave what they wanted which is the complete opposite of the American demands this is bad news not good [+10] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: i am a simple man. i see a pump i buy puts [+10] u/Erieztoys: Port is green today. To bad still red 1W, 1M, 3M and YTD [+10] u/HookedOnBoNix: Whenever I lose money on 0DTEs I deposit the same amount back in so my account is in the green every day [+10] u/nascarhero: 🥭: Claude, make me another new truth post to pump the market. NO MISTAKES [+10] u/Get_dat_money: Think I might just take a month or so off guys. [+10] u/thefrozen_one: Reports of US preparing its final blow, that was the bullish news. Pssh you fools! [+10] u/Madsen13140: Another day of bers 😂, bols 😂 [+10] u/bearhunter429: #When SPY is up only half the stocks are up, when SPY is down every stock is fucking dead. LMAO🤌 [+10] u/saw-it: Spy trying to give a whole spiel about its life story before it goes down on you [+10] u/piszczel: I guess I've been promoted to long term shareholder [+10] u/psychoffs: Zuck would sell you on the street for $1 and people are in here posting about feeling bad for zuck. [+10] u/postachioo: Bought a SSD 4TB for $200 couple months ago now they’re selling for $700 lmao [+10] u/saw-it: Buls and bers in here celebrating a 50 cent range that spy is stuck in [+10] u/Deadweight047: A straight of Hormuz buttplug [+9] u/therealcoon: Can't believe this idiot gets to destroy so many lives on a fucking ego trip. I bet he's never stepped foot in a grocery store, fuck if he knows what inflation means. [+9] u/TheDudeAbidesFarOut: Aaaaaand here's the fake pump to get put options juicy.... [+9] u/CPA-hole: Oil still up. Fake pump [+9] u/EdoTensei10: Thanks to Micron, I need to put fries in the bag. [+9] u/MoMeanMugs: That YTD chart on MU looks like a nice mountain range. [+9] u/---Right--Tackle---: #you can’t make this shit up [+9] u/ajibtunes: Bloomberg: Iran has likely earned hundreds of millions of dollars of extra income from oil sales since the start of the war [+9] u/Acceptable-Food-9163: Equities markets are so divorced from reality at this point and we are just chasing their coat tails while they do insider trading. No reason for this reversal to be happening. Yes this is cope, fuck you [+9] u/KaotikRush0198: whoever is playing this market is extremely ballsy (that's me) [+9] u/RalphaDog: Who are these gullible rubes that believe a word this man says [+9] u/Notable_Naps: Ima keep it real with you guys. I'd been messing around in SPY and was up a little bit. Switched to SPX cuz I thought I was cool. Literally soon as I buy in I'm down all of my profit from today cuz it spiked up harder than my cock on viagra. I have very humbly learned I'm not SPX built. [+9] u/OkAlternative7705: Bought NVO puts and it went +3% immediately. Such is life [+9] u/BlueStreaks1799: SPY, please take a shit [+9] u/Metal-Water: I’m officially on team bear now [+9] u/Godworthy-Sins: Bought a straddle. Losing money twice as fast! [+9] u/LarsTarkas: Guaranteed market crash if Jake Paul shows up at the meeting [+9] u/iFiredIce: So we have an oil shortage, housing shortage, silver shortage and memory shortage so far? Probably nothin to worry bout here [+9] u/whitewashedsyrian: Theta for the rest of the day fuck you and your options lmao [+9] u/clubdirthill: 🥭 preparing to deliver a “final blow” to my portfolio [+9] u/ProblemOk4641: Red by open, red by lunch and red by close. You heard it here first 👍 [+8] u/Substantial-Art5008: 🥭 is about to bomb the shit out of Iran and were pumping with also the unemployment news?? The one day I short… [+8] u/Phandomtrigger: Pump for no damn reason [+8] u/Smart_Sheepherder302: Monday gonna be an absolute birdbath [+8] u/browsk: Damn I should probably be paying more attention to my actual job 💀 [+8] u/johnny63137: going cash over the weekend is the best play [+8] u/ajibtunes: NEW: Pentagon estimates only 23% of young Americans (17-24) are eligible to serve in US military mainly due to poor academic performance on testing and obesity -ABC [+8] u/weewoowewoooo: Ah yes sending pointless proposals back and forth. That’ll definitely fix the markets and also repair the destroyed infrastructure over night lmfaoooo [+8] u/Imaginary-Writer-125: My only advice to memory bros Sometimes it’s better to get out while you’re still ahead [+8] u/Double_Anybody: He’s really about to come on here and say something like “We have secured woman’s sports, that’s right woman’s sports are now secured” [+8] u/Stunning-Dig-8916: All of this is just creating liquidity and allowing them to buy your assets on the cheap. [+8] u/Beagle001: "France confirms oil crisis, says 30-40% Gulf energy infrastructure destroyed" [France24.com](http://France24.com) Oil goes down. lol [+8] u/Bichael-Murry: havent seen anything more miserable lately than spy fighting for its life like this [+8] u/Hot-Performancy: I deserve to lose money. I sold a winning play for a losing play bc i have tissue hands. [+8] u/WSB-mods-are-: Find you a girl who stays closer to you than SPY does to 655 [+8] u/DanasSideWife: You guys are all stressed out about war, the market, layoffs, impending draft. Meanwhile the fenty fold bois walking around living their best lives inspecting sidewalks [+8] u/patmccock86: The markets are falling for orange stalling until the weekend to commence attacks? This is unbelievable, Wall St is not hiring the brightest [+8] u/unwanted_hair: The phlebotomist turned my arm into a giant bruise. Can a robot do this job? [+8] u/MakeResonableChoices: Imagine quitting TSA to join ice only to go back to doing TSA shit [+8] u/Nervous-Basis-1707: Nothing is happening till the US launches ground invasion (of islands) this Friday night. You will not make money trading 0DTE today [+8] u/hungerofpine: barack HUSSEIN obama [+8] u/mikefromedelyn: thank you msft my wife is finally texting me back [+8] u/KaotikRush0198: Jfc, this market is fucking insane [+8] u/Mindless_Clock7823: bro i dont know which side to take anymore IM LOSING AT BOTH [+8] u/ksyoung17: Believe it or not... Theta. [+8] u/hakan_loob44: 🥭 knows who was president before sleepy o'biden right? [+8] u/jpric155: Gotta be shorts closing here. [+8] u/Automatic-Use-4260: Based on Iran response we going to be in for a long war and oil prices are going to be squeezed. I wonder who hurts first China or the US. And while US is in a Middle East war theater does China take this as an opportunity to take Taiwan. Find out next time on this wild wild world of reality. [+8] u/legible_print: God this feels like being one of those peasants in Fury Road and waiting for Immortan Joe to turn on the aquifer for like two minutes [+7] u/kwarknagel: # Operation EPIC 🅱️USSY [+7] u/2020isgreat: Market being held up by hopium [+7] u/No-Insurance100: The sheiks and emirs are panic selling every time they hear a lawnmower [+7] u/therealcoon: It's wild that a few 80 million numpties are fucking up the lives of 7 billion people just going on about their lives. [+7] u/Capt_Chickenpox: I uuuuh.... don't know what's happening [+7] u/f0xinaround: You know as soon as weekend at Donny's comes on, this market is going to drill again. Dude is not looking good ☄️ [+7] u/GreenBud_Hero: Scared money dont make money [+7] u/Alert_Performance_99: Bought more puts at the exact bottom I’m a GENIUS [+7] u/Long_duk_dong_duck: Gentlemen, ChatGPT just informed me that we are in a chop zone and that we should wait for further confirmation [+7] u/Burtonwurton: There is the MSFT I know...useless fuck losing all the little gain that it got from open. [+7] u/Faani78: Fucking chop chop. Lost my gains.. [+7] u/Defiant-Fee-7550: I just filed a $3 million dollar lawsuit against META for brainwashing me with booty pictures 😦🤌 [+7] u/br0botic: Pete Hegseth was probably bullied as a child [+7] u/dayne_stevenson: One more ‘truth’ from 🥭 and my portfolio is EXTERMINATED [+7] u/CUbuffGuy: Patience bears.. this has at least one more push higher on some lies before we short [+7] u/Fancy_Cattle_5914: Jesus Christ Micron. I bought right before earnings, one of the best earnings I’ve seen and straight down after. Fuck me, fuck you MU [+7] u/No-Insurance100: Iran says "lmao what is this shit come back when you have a real security agreement, now watch this missile attack on Haifa" Regarded American traders: "oh shit they said 'come back' Iran on the verge of capitulation, pump time baby" [+7] u/LarsTarkas: 🥭 gift to you is theta [+7] u/spudbro00: they pumped IWM from -1.6% to green, I've seen it all. beyond comical [+7] u/Ahthongkorkor: crazy how i exited my puts almost at the bottom because I felt like a pump was coming... but didnt enter calls to swing it 😕 [+7] u/BigBritches619: He wants them to act quickly on ceasefire plan bc his economy is fucked he can’t get oil to chill out [+7] u/Opposite-Lobster2470: I’ve lost so much money this year [+7] u/Trashpanda7193: These bloodbath days has made become emotionally immune to losses. [+7] u/CPA-hole: Mango declaring victory again [+7] u/Marshmallowmind2: Baron bought? Pump it [+7] u/COBRA_DROGO: Told you guys MSFT will moon after I sold all my calls yesterday. Your welcome! Maybe I should sell all my big tech calls for you guys’ sake! [+7] u/ServoFFXI: MU is kicking my ass worse than dating a former female WWF wrestler on roid rage. [+7] u/FriedCheeseSanga: Just went all in 0dte, lord help me [+7] u/MoleMan199: We are about to go green. Vance is just waiting for the bears to say Thank You, first [+7] u/EdgeLordMcGravy: QQQ getting repeatedly rejected by 584. Either it pushes through soon or pulls back pretty hard I’d imagine [+7] u/Best_Sherbert_9481: Well my puts just got killed [+7] u/Lazy-Astronomer-7829: We won! [https://www.youtube.com/shorts/SeleAYHbTWY?feature=share](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/SeleAYHbTWY?feature=share) [+7] u/dabblesest: Guys they’re begging to make a deal. BEGGING! [+6] u/Ok-Adeptness6444: market *ridonkulous* [+6] u/LostandConfused2024: Made 10k today. Time to go into work for the day boys [+6] u/Oldschoolhype2: Notice how most of the news we are getting is headlines and rarely video of the conflict. Back in my day wars didnt used to be highly censored. [+6] u/spudbro00: IWM up 1.3% from overnight lows, lmfao get the fuck outta here [+6] u/br0botic: As soon as you think it’s not possible for a stock to go down more, it goes down more [+6] u/Cymycyck: the people of iran, theyre eating the oil, theyre eating the straights [+6] u/RedditsFullofShit: Meta down 7% in a week 25% over 6 months. 👍 [+6] u/blackboro: You call that moon lol [+6] u/DogNamedFloppy: MSFT staying green while QQQ down 1%? Is this real life? 🥹 [+6] u/imlockedoutagain: \+1k on SPX calls. Time of logoff for the day. [+6] u/schleeper1: every little drop just pumps back up [+6] u/Eddyrancid: Of course the pump that LOOKED like the fakest shit imaginable is holding lmao [+6] u/slimeystevebob: Begging me with tears in their eyes [+6] u/Best_Sherbert_9481: Why are we going up?? [+6] u/kaapooj: iran is just replying to reply '#bulls fell for it again [+6] u/TrollerCoasterWoo: Iran wants “The conclusion of the war across all fronts and for all resistance groups involved throughout the region.” I’m sure the belligerents will agree this. https://www.bloomberg.com/news/live-blog/2026-03-26/live-iran-war-trump-latest-news-updates-analysis-oil-markets [+6] u/Dismal_Foundation784: U asking too much man in this gay ass market [+5] u/Ok-Worth104: She's tankin, she's tankin! [+5] u/LarsTarkas: So Thursday dump into Friday massacre? [+5] u/highlanderquestion90: Thursday is the new Friday. The folks who usually sell on friday realized they need to sell on Thursdays now [+5] u/ARSC_RexH: MU looking like Apollo Creed in Rocky 4 [+5] u/Chancey004: I would like to thank robinhood for giving me an error message this morning when I tried to buy Apple pootz at open [+5] u/Shot-Ground-9898: I hate this mango fk with every fiber of my body. REMOVE HIMMMMMM [+5] u/patmccock86: "Get me Scott on the phone! SCOTT. WHERE ARE YOU. THE MARKETS" [+5] u/Strangerdanger8812: Iran still legally permits stoning but its being modernized with execution by hanging. [+5] u/Phandomtrigger: Guess who just lost 33% 😭 [+5] u/Pazzaaaaaa: Iran literally begging for a deal! Why is the market going down? BERS will pay for this at open with giant green dildos! [+5] u/h3yyoun6w0rld: How tf can a stock drop 56% pre market bro let us in [+5] u/OneLongjumping5743: bag holding qqq is possibly my proudest achievement [+5] u/jerm2z: Some comment about bers rly thot or some shi [+5] u/MissMatriarch: I hope you enjoyed this pump, bols. It’s the last one you’ll see in a while. [+5] u/Low_Truck_7049: mango talking at 10am, watch markets go up from ceasefire [+5] u/wafflepiezz: I am now a bagholder of memory stocks [+5] u/Namtabmal: MSFT Gonna hit 350 by close. [+5] u/saw-it: Come on spy, just put the fries in the bag [+5] u/Unhappy_Hedgehog_808: “IT’S A GREAT TIME TO BUY” [+5] u/delicious_oppai: Has copium gas run out yet? Still waiting to buy puts [+5] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: Believe it or not, balls [+5] u/TheSelfishMan: Does this guy not realize he was one of those presidents in the last 47 years? My guy, show some accountability. [+23] u/Send_Lawyers: You got treasury talking military strategy. Def talking diplomacy. And state saying what if. This is the dumbest cabinet in history. Strait still closed. Oil over 117 and climbing. No plan. Puts. [+22] u/Waiting4Reccession: Bessent gay Thiel gay that weirdo mike johnson, secretly super gay JD vance, probably secretly gay So what im saying is, my spx condor is safe [+22] u/SaintJeanneD-Sim: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VehGieRi72w](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VehGieRi72w) MISSILE ALERTS AND SIRENS LIVE OVER ISRAEL FIRED FROM A TOTALLY O'BLITTERATED MILITARY [+21] u/KahlVados: TRUMP ON STOCK MARKET: THOUGHT IT WOULD GO DOWN MORE He's getting his wish [+20] u/Im_Gonna_Steal_It: This is North Korea level dick sucking, my god [+20] u/Appropriate-Unit1433: lol, I’m watching on BBC in Uk.. they just cut this ramble off and said we’ll come back when they get back on topic 😂 [+20] u/Out_Phishing: This guy is actually retarded [+20] u/Chlo-Motion: Summary of 🥭's speech on "Iran" in the past 10 minutes: • A young lady somewhere would be alive if there were no crime • I built a thousand miles of wall • Ballroom is going to be really beautiful • "Everything I do I get sued" [+18] u/Worth-Walk6265: This is some embarrassing shit, table of absolute fucking losers. [+18] u/Garbage-Disposal-938: Breaking: No one will be suing [Truth.social](http://Truth.social) for addiction [+18] u/SSkilledJFK: Bruh, 🥭 is so pumped full of drugs to keep him upright. He’s looking like late stage Jim Jones while he gave his final speech. Come to think of it, he talks just like him too…🧐 [+17] u/TheBestCanadianGoose: There eating the pens, they're eating the crayons [+17] u/itsnotshade: Iran is begging for a deal, they have leaders on their knees with tears in their eyes saying “please please mister kushner let us sign away our oil rights for a peace deal” Too bad this isn’t actually what’s happening. [+16] u/Ok-Rock-7226: I AM A GOD-FEARING AMERICAN PATRIOT PLEASE DEAR LEADER TELL ME ABOUT THE GOLD IN THE BALLROOM. I LONG TO HEAR ABOUT THE IMPORTED MAAAARBLE. [+16] u/yayan29: "I SETTLED 8 WARS" NO YOU DIDNT! [+15] u/Moon_Rose_Violet: > Trump: "Before this started, the Dow hit 50,000" Pack it up folks, he did the meme [+15] u/_IsNull: That’s a self masturbation cabinet. [+15] u/Q4shm0ney: dude why am i listening to a story about a pen for 10 minutes [+14] u/_IsNull: Instead of taking 5k profit, I pick 50k loss on meta. [+14] u/Rich-Badger-7601: lmao no fucking shot this guy just said "oil is cheaper than I thought" [+14] u/Dismal_Structure: **Trump says oil and stock market reaction to Iran conflict not as severe as he expected.** [+14] u/Mortgage5388: Looks like they starting to understand Iran isn't agreeing to a deal [+14] u/HumansHaveSoles: THIS is the trigger for AI bubble pop [+13] u/Infinite-Anybody204: Bros just jumping topic to topic tryna find what pumps [+13] u/smart_introvert: \*TRUMP ON STOCK MARKET: THOUGHT IT WOULD GO DOWN MORE [+13] u/TestingLifeThrow1z: Don’t care, boots ground y or n? [+13] u/Voltthrower69: These people are all liars and idiots… [+13] u/Odd_Papaya8305: 🥭 sleeping as usual😂 [+13] u/NazgulSandwich: I remember someone telling me when this started that “its only 20% of the worlds oil, how much could it affect prices?” The unbearable weight of real life crashing down on people lost in fairytale free money tesla to 3000 AI AI AI world [+13] u/whydouhatemecablegod: bol anoos has been obliterated... i repeat, bol has no anoos left [+13] u/iliveasimplelife: This is Thursday drill. Friday drill is yet to come. [+13] u/tgff333: Wait he said this?!? TRUMP: Iran offered me to be their Supreme Leader. [+13] u/Dismal_Structure: These are worse than his Covid press briefings. I just can't believe Americans forgot that. [+12] u/_ThisDickAintFree_: 🥭 can only hurt the market at this point. What an absolute dumbfuck. [+12] u/Bioneer_Bete: They called him Sleepy Joe cuz he could pump these numbers in his sleep [+12] u/Gaxicola: 🥭sounds like someone who is about to attack over the weekend. 🤔 [+12] u/LabyrinthLayers: “TRUMP ON STOCK MARKET: THOUGHT IT WOULD GO DOWN MORE” this mf really has puts [+12] u/Kaladin3104: Couch fucker looks rough. [+12] u/Successful-Pass-568: NO DEAL IRAN DOESNT WANT A DEAL [+12] u/_IsNull: “Great job?” Fk you guys. Fk this cabinet. [+12] u/AegonTheMeh: Trump: > “Frankly, I thought the oil prices would go up more and I thought the stock market would go down more,” Trump said. “Hasn’t been nearly as severe as I thought. I think they have confidence in the American president and maybe the people sitting around this table.” [+12] u/lamechud: Bill Ackman down 16% YTD LOL [+12] u/_IsNull: Down 100k now. 🤡🤡🤡. I knew there’s going to be a dump and I did nothing. [+12] u/Ecomonist: Hey its Bessent, I heard he is sending his kids to war in Iran. Good for him [+12] u/ThouOne: Yeah we’re entering a recession [+11] u/dtlabsa: This guy is a fucking lunatic. [+11] u/NotMe357: "US considering a “final blow,” potentially involving ground troops and large-scale bombing, per Axios" 🔥 🔥 🔥 🐂 🔥🔥🔥 "We're Fine" [+11] u/ToroLoco_TL: WTF is this mf saying 😭 BREAKING: President Trump says the Iran War was a "test" for NATO and he is "so disappointed in NATO." "Remember my statements in a number of months from now... never forget," Trump says. [+11] u/SupramanE89: I like how they all take turns kissing ass. [+11] u/Detail-Vegetable: Does 🥭 buy these guys kneepads to match the oversized shoes? [+11] u/Chlo-Motion: CNBC: "Trump says oil and stock market reaction to Iran conflict not as severe as he expected" wtf is this headline [+11] u/NlNJANEER: I don’t think 🥭 knows what this press conference is for lmao [+11] u/Temporary-Basil-3030: Fuk it, just nuke the whole market. [+11] u/yayan29: Bro nobody wants to hear about your tacky ass ballroom. The country is falling apart. How about talk about what you're doing to fix it? [+11] u/AwarenessOk5979: trumpdawg i cant afford groceries this month. please, please can you add more 24karat gold to your ballroom with tax money and also draft me to go get blown up in iran because i love you so much [+11] u/yayan29: Bro has been talking about sharpies for 10 minutes. WTF [+10] u/WorkingCorrect1062: The objective of the war is to open Strait of Hormuz which was open before the war ladies and gentlemen [+10] u/soccer29801830: “Way ahead of schedule” the war has been 4 weeks…..the initial fake timeline [+10] u/DENIMSHORTS_840SCORE: I really cant even stand to listen to him anymore. Good god [+10] u/j4c11: Uganda about to join the war on the side of Israel, Iran in shambles. [+10] u/OptionsHuduga: HOLY FUC he said I thought it would go down more. I'm done. [+10] u/uwu_owo_whats_this: did bro just say he thought the market would be down more lmao [+10] u/jraiv420: 🥭 just said he expected higher Oil prices lmao [+10] u/Sjw455: He’s gonna tweet after this isn’t he [+10] u/PancakeDickwrap: IF CHAPPELL ROAN WAS PRETTIER, THE MARKETS WOULD BE GREEN RIGHT NOW [+10] u/BeingMe007: This is legit circus [+10] u/SmilkyD: Telling your adversary your going to take their island weeks before you try either a Chad move or greatest military blunder in history. At least the dow was 50k. [+10] u/Kaladin3104: Boots on the ground announcement coming rn?!?! [+10] u/givemethestars000: "10,000 targets destroyed" 800,000 more to go [+10] u/Comprehensive_Tea388: Break ceasefire so many times the other side refuses to come to the table. ART OF THE DEAL. [+10] u/Economisty: Trump looks like he's about to do do in his pant pant. [+10] u/PopularCut4124: Sara eisen seems to care more about Israeli safety than American safety. Maybe she should move there [+10] u/Tacosdonahue: If oil goes up Pete's hair is fucked [+10] u/nolanjp: Fuck this shit, I'm switching to pokemon packs [+10] u/ArtisticFrame5790: We call it boots on the ground. Iran call it sandals on the ground? [+10] u/One_Confidence_7069: If everyone starts praying right now, we'll get that deal with...those religious extremists. [+10] u/AdCritical5383: This press conference is wild. [+10] u/_IsNull: Can someone hack his twitter account and push it up. [+10] u/CallmeWooki: Imagine listening to this 10 years ago. It would be an outrage. Now it’s just another day [+10] u/KnewTwoDiss: JFC this guy has nuke codes? [+10] u/Few-Frosting-4213: He's stuck in a loop lmao [+10] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: Manngo can keep rambling longer than you 🫵 can stay solvent [+10] u/darklordyy: calling jpow a moron is certainly a choice [+10] u/Expensive-Big-8725: i feel like Bessent lost his juice - he sounds like he's about to cry all the time now [+10] u/moviekid214: Looks like we are going in tomorrow at 3 o clock lmaooooo [+10] u/nadoterisback: MSFT delisted and bankrupt by end of decade for sure [+10] u/superscarab: the military needed the ballroom! [+9] u/centered_chaos: Like listening to my 86 year-old dad if he was on Adderall [+9] u/apurimac777: This is gonna be our lives until at least 2029 isn't it [+9] u/Deadsea3132: Fuck me man META is dropping like a rock [+9] u/MachineGunBeatings: "We took a little detour." So did my portfolio, straight South. [+9] u/SousLiberte: Witkoff: "however it became quite clear during these meetings with the Iranian negotiating team that we could not make a deal that fulfilled your objectives" I guess those marines are eating good tonight [+9] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: I bought 6 shares of NVDA at $175 and now I’m down like $9. My day is ruined and I have lodged a complaint with my broker. [+9] u/DevilishJoe: That slow bleed is killing me. Just do a couple of circuit breakers and be done with this shit 🤬 [+9] u/Dawnoftheman: Portfolio at an all time low [+9] u/neilr3ddit: The world is listening to the leader talk about… interior design ☺️ [+9] u/Acceptable_Ant1692: calls on pen companies [+9] u/boringfantasy: Fucking sell everything. Fuck this. [+9] u/Acceptable_Ant1692: when he speaks it’s bearish when he tweets it’s bullish [+9] u/ExplosiveDlarrhea69: 77 million people said this was better than the sane person because she laughed [+9] u/rd26: Bessent: the global oil market is well supplied Credit to him for saying that with a straight face [+9] u/SirPanic12: Down -70% on META and its most of my portfolio. I feel seriously numb [+9] u/DuAbUiSai: can we skip the ballroom already 🥱 [+8] u/StevieWonder557: Wake me up when 5.25% [+8] u/traderbusto: I’ve been wondering about The Situation thank god we finally get an update [+8] u/soup4br3kfast: Boots on the ground boys. Straight closed for another month [+8] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: this is actually REALLY funny 😂 [+8] u/DarthOniichan: Powell should raise the rates right after this conference ends, lol. [+8] u/Happy_Fly_7691: He is bankrupting your country. [+8] u/PuzzledLeader8941: Yeah this guys lost it [+8] u/skin_flute_player: 🥭: “oil prices ain’t even that bad” Oil: “bet” [+8] u/dontslambro: TRUMP SAYS ON STOCK MARKET: THOUGHT IT WOULD GO DOWN MORE Dafaq is this not enough for you?> [+8] u/chalupabatman2404: Vix should spike every time this retarded admin talks [+8] u/bidahtibull: THEY TOLD IRAN NOT TO MISCALCULATE AGAIN. 😂😂 [+8] u/Far-Requirement9180: “Beatings will continue until is sell on a huge loss”. WSB regard probably [+8] u/MiddleAgedSponger: The weak pump failed, slow fading sell off into the. close [+8] u/COVIDtheDestroyer: Listen to these retards, we’re fucked [+8] u/NPIRACKS: So anyways I started blasting CALL OPTIONS [+8] u/Kaladin3104: He just said a whole lot of nothing. The US said here is our list of demands, and Iran said gfy. [+8] u/nolanjp: 2 years of gains all gone, thanks mango, I worked 28 days a month for 2 years for free [+8] u/tri-pug: and I was so close to completing *No Heroin March* [+8] u/Detail-Vegetable: Here comes suck 'em off scott [+8] u/DarthOniichan: Markets aren’t punishing this garbage hard enough. [+8] u/centered_chaos: Deal or no deal...dementia edition [+8] u/Initial_Attitude_980: Just awoke how's my Rddt and Meta two fund port looking? [+8] u/NothingTooFancy26: RDDT is such a piece of shit [+8] u/aquaticsardonic: These are not real people. [+8] u/ev01ution: The could have been avoid. 🥭 just needed to not start a war. Dum fucking pedo [+8] u/sam4o19: Lmao this how I speak on my work calls when I provide updates knowing damn well I haven’t done shit [+7] u/LumpyShock9656: Today I learnt why concentrating into single stocks is a bad idea (META cough cough) [+7] u/Voltthrower69: This guy sees a 2 minute TikTok compilation of shit getting blown up. That’s his baby brain analysis he gets every morning. That’s why he repeats the line about everything being blown up. I’m not kidding. [+7] u/ToroLoco_TL: How are we pumping? The market has literally 0 correlation to real world events wtf [+7] u/tracelistener: Donald Slump. Slumpy Trumpy. [+7] u/Ok_Wealth_3433: What the hell is going on [+7] u/soscribbly: No way Meta is dumping this hard over a $6 million penalty…. Zuck shits that for breakfast [+7] u/Rickyskeets69: "imagine what these people would do if the had a nuclear weapon " so wait... they don't have nuclear weapons? [+7] u/bidahtibull: Pakistani government is circulating the diplomatic discussions. The government hiding OBL? Lol. [+7] u/WarmCan3034: Honestly I thought msft was a shitty stock, but rip meta LOL. This drop brutal 😭, I cannot stomach [+7] u/Far-Requirement9180: Bag7 delisted by eoy lol [+7] u/hubblebubble7: Drill team ready for deployment [+7] u/092Casey: META going to 100 😆 🤣 😂 😹 😆 🤣  Couldn't happen to a better doesn't company and regard ceo. [+7] u/PropheticMurmurs: MAYBE THE GREATEST AIR RAID IN HISTORY! [+7] u/AlGAdams: Why is software up?  Did Sam Altman shart himself on camera. [+7] u/bigdaddyrongregs: If Spy drills below zero I think it starts back at the top of 999. This is some serious 5D chess. [+7] u/Nostalgic_Japanese: Trump taking micronaps [+7] u/Economisty: It's Obama's fault, apparently. [+7] u/Voltthrower69: Nuclear suicide vest? What is this idiot talking about. [+7] u/BiblicalAss: how bad is the USA lmao [+7] u/Metacog_Drivel: There should be IQ minimums to voting. [+7] u/Fun-Journalist2276: help im deep under the waterrrrrrrr [+6] u/zestykite: Quit while you're ahead [+6] u/tsunamiwaves_: META was 600 bucks yesterday💀 [+6] u/Tacosdonahue: 45 years old, young, hip [+6] u/meforprezz: this gonna rug or nah? [+6] u/Bigamungus: I’m just gonna say it. I dont care that you broke your elbow [+6] u/LeBhikariLe: dropping 5% in a day w/o earnings for 1T+ company is no joke [+6] u/jekylczar: Hey Siri, set a reminder to exit all positions when the orange turd speaks [+5] u/PuzzledLeader8941: You got this rubio, this can’t get any worse [+5] u/evlyn_mae: Stalling so Barron can buy oil calls after his lecture or sm shi [+30] u/Dewton: Did he just say straight of homos [+22] u/Ok_Advantage_8153: The US spending a billion a day to achieve nothing but explosion porn. Iran sends out a jetski with a claymore attached and a quad drone dangling a hand grenade and cripples the world economy. [+22] u/International_Bee653: Why is the news media so regarded. Trump will say something along the lines of 'Iran thinks of me as their favorite world leader' and they'll share it as a serious headline. [+22] u/Working_Monitor_2076: "I don't want a stupid person being pres.ident". yeah me neither [+22] u/octopus_serenader: Just a reminder to everyone that THIS IS AN ACTUAL CABINET MEETING not a rally in Alabama. buy more space stocks, i need to leave this planet [+22] u/Leading_Form_8485: Lol, bruh. Dude is insanely retarded [+19] u/yeedub: Is this what the bros voted for [+19] u/AugyCeasar: My favorite part was when Marco said all the money is going to Venezuelan people, school, hospitals teach - and 🥭 jumped in saying and we get a ton of it. [+19] u/The_Box_muncher: Since Pam Bondi got up in front of congress on February 11th and said "stop worrying the Dow is above 50,000" it has lost 8.06% of its value from that day and its still going down lmfao [+18] u/Rounder221: I'm down 17K for the fucking day [+17] u/patcakes: Why did the right pick this guy again? I literally forget at this point. [+17] u/techlogger: I want to speak to a manager! [+16] u/Connect-Engine-7267: You voted for this 🫵😂 dumbass [+16] u/Seang2989: Look at this asshole bragging about being retarded. [+16] u/powerboner: SPY IS OFFICIALLY CLOSER TO 600 THAN 700! THANK YOU ORANGE KID DIDDLER!!! YOU DID IT!!! THE GOLDEN AGE! [+16] u/Tay_Tay86: The market is realizing just how dire things are getting. This will not trade like it was before. Every man for himself [+15] u/GreedyCommie: THE BIG PRESENT WAS JUST 10 BOATS, LMAOOOOO [+15] u/Comfortable733: There’s literally people in this chat that voted for him 🤡🫵 [+15] u/AllCapNoBrake: r/Bitcoin punching the air rn https://preview.redd.it/drxv20kuxerg1.jpeg?width=120&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=56439197e687318fad33f0dd0e08b5d046d26924 [+14] u/Time-Cardiologist906: If anyone’s watching 🍊talk rn, bro is so gone. Talking about trans issues while gas prices are skyrocketing. [+14] u/burtburtburtcg: BREAKING: Bol learns that destroying oil infrastructure is, in fact, not bolish. [+13] u/ThermalChaser: Iranian air defenses have been obliterated. Our planes just keep falling out of the air due to performance anxiety. [+13] u/Kickboy21: One thing about MSFT, it knows how to fucking dump 🤡 [+13] u/UnitasMundi: How retarded do you have to be to buy stocks rn lmao [+13] u/BobsBurners420: Imagine sitting next to this retard while he goes on like this [+13] u/conoremc: https://preview.redd.it/849hh77d3frg1.png?width=1024&format=png&auto=webp&s=f704eae82d69c102d938c1a0a8c44ec2c58ba1aa [+13] u/bemeandnotyou: "lord of the straits" Iran made animated video to help mango understand the situation!!! embrassing. [+12] u/mousepop321: I keep buying the dip but it keeps dipping [+12] u/Linkan122: Meta down 7% on that? Wtf? 😂 [+12] u/TomatoSpecialist6879: Those bootlickers laughing at every shitty joke he make is getting annoying ngl [+12] u/nthnreallymatters: we really could have just had a normal fucking year we didn't need tariffs, wars or any other bs this entire mess is self created [+12] u/softboiledjadepotato: Appears 🌮's lie conferences just not hitting like they used to [+12] u/NeighborhoodDry1821: You guys voted for this lmfao [+12] u/ultrachem: Mango is totally going to attack Iran this weekend [+12] u/JiffKewneye-n: implying that you somehow won't be sent to an ICE concentration camp [+11] u/GuyFieriFrostedTips: 🥭 SAYS IRAN FLOATED MAKING HIM SUPREME LEADER 😂. Da shit out of his mouth gets crazier by the minute. [+11] u/stock_dude9: This is the market no longer believing the mango…. Look out below [+11] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: Just remember how old he is guys. 🪦 is not off the table [+11] u/epyonxero: the gift to 🥭 was 10 boats paying Iran $3M each to pass? [+11] u/iacceptmyfate: RDDT down 9% in one day, lmao. Should've taken my gains when I had the chance [+11] u/i_simp_f: What a dumb fucking thing that was [+11] u/moorhound: Bol: "we already won the war against ber. They're begging for a deal" [+10] u/Ledd10: This is pure comedy! It's as if Michael Scott is made president [+10] u/Alive-South-8808: QQQ is going to pump when this is over!!! [+10] u/luxford2: maybe there’s a reason europe didn’t want to come anywhere near this war [+10] u/SergeantThreat: Everyone remember to injure yourself before this weekend to avoid being drafted! [+10] u/Fieryhotsauce: They called him sleepy Joe because he let everyone sleep at night [+10] u/memoryyyuh: Say what you will about the tenets of neoconservatism, at least it’s an ethos. These men are nihilists. [+10] u/puffinnbluffin: And to think less than a month ago I was at ath 🤡 [+10] u/MasterElite1: >TRUMP JOKES WARSH AS FED CHAIR MAY WORK FROM WHITE HOUSE The central bank will lose its independence. Gold should be 8000. [+10] u/ThermalChaser: Pete "Secretary of Excusion" Hagueseth [+10] u/stock_dude9: About to permanently exit this overly corrupt stock market and put my worth into 5% yield bonds forever [+10] u/pinballwiz: Sir, another ✈️ has hit 650. [+10] u/kim82352: > Trump... “I thought, frankly, the oil prices would go up more and the stock market would go down more. It hasn’t been nearly as severe as I thought.” [+10] u/BobsBurners420: Plunge protection team activated [+9] u/VellyJanta: Lmao market didn’t buy it, is 10 tankers a lot? [+9] u/Working_Monitor_2076: "because we have crooked politions". yeah no shit [+9] u/PeachScary413: Don't worry guys, no market crash ever happened on a Thursday 🤌 [+9] u/fan_of_hakiksexydays: Markets don't seem to be buying the 10 ship story [+9] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: # NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE [+9] u/Bong-Hits-For-Jesus: i sent my broker a 15 point plan for allowing me to trade. i demand reparations [+9] u/zurijer: 🥭: Pete and Marco said I should do it. I mean I didn’t know anything about it to be frank. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! [+9] u/JaraxxusPS4: Completely avoidable by the way [+9] u/patcakes: Was not giving him the Nobel Peace Prize the equivalent of not letting Hitler into art school? [+9] u/cantgetthistowork: *TRUMP: IRAN APOLOGIZED FOR SOMETHING, THEN SENT TWO MORE BOATS *TRUMP: IRAN ENDED UP LETTING 10 BOATS [+9] u/daddysgirl794: If it weren't for 🥭 manipulating the market by saying "we won" every damn speech SPY would be down like 15% from highs already [+9] u/Shot-Welcome-2822: 10 tankers this week vs 130ish per day before the war, that’s not a gift [+9] u/Unhedged-Fund: small green candle when he finally decided to stfu and stop making everything worse [+9] u/catfromgarfield: well that was pretty racist [+9] u/Unhedged-Fund: this idiot is making me turn bearish [+9] u/defordj: If I'm Iran watching this, there's got to be some suspicion that he's faking it, right? Or maybe you think your translator is fucking with you? [+9] u/ten7four: Mr president, stop! It's too much winning! I can't handle all this winning!! [+9] u/burtburtburtcg: Are ya winning, bol? [+8] u/CFBReform: This ain’t dumping way too much resistance [+8] u/lardexDofB: Keep my bois name out yo fookin mouth [+8] u/illicit_FROG: wtf was that candle... [+8] u/ProfessionalStart461: Hold on bro, YOU'RE out here talking about low IQ? [+8] u/daddysgirl794: Where is Tom Lee? Is he searching for a new bottom? [+8] u/CardiologistEqual336: Martial law by midterms.. you heard it here first 😎 [+8] u/Sekshual_Tyranosauce: I don’t think a statue in Venezuela is the flex they think it is. [+8] u/Particular-Cake-6430: How are calls still so expensive lol? Wtf [+7] u/skyrizi: I FEEL SOO GOOD I FEEL SOO SAFE!!! [+7] u/VellyJanta: Holy shit throwing kangaroobros under the bus [+7] u/SpitefulSeagull: Even he's admitting it ain't over and prices will keep going up ahahaha Can't wait to see the cope from the media about how it's fine [+7] u/EyeraGlass: Ranting about 24k gold columns while gas is $4.25 man of the people [+7] u/9tacos: Install a neuralink chip in this old fuck and reboot him 😒 [+7] u/sonianevermindX: market finally realizes 🥭a liar [+7] u/TheNicestRedditor: Bulls are getting turned into beyond burgers today 😂 [+6] u/otimanob: They will take it to 600 at any fukin cost. Need to make money both ways. [+6] u/Dewton: Bessent is such a groveling cuck LMAO [+5] u/PackLeaderX: They’re all hanging by rope in the Wendy’s break room [+23] u/Fluffy-Discussion166: Geopolitics topic here... It's funny isn't it. If 🥭 idiot never bother with Iran, just keep sanctions on them. Nothing will happened and they will slowly descent to stone age. Now..... Iran knew they can actually control that straits with some cheap ass drones and negotiate with US. They might be out of sanction soon, sell their oils and still have a grip on that region. Calls on Iran. [+17] u/aioliravioli: When Lebron(a billionaire) is doing commercials for literal gambling apps I think it's safe to call the top [+17] u/gentlesandwich: This fucking guy never tweets market manipulating messages when I'm the one with calls [+16] u/Cymraegpunk: Fun fact none of this would be happening if the US just had a national curriculum and made people finish school like normal Western countries. [+16] u/LevelSatisfaction838: This war is not going to end. Iran broke the veneer of US invincibility. Iran wins by being decentralized enough to stay alive and creating uncertainty about the safe passage through the strait of hormuz. They want the economic hell of a falling stock market and rising treasury yields. It means nothing to them and it’s easy to keep up. They have no reason to negotiate. [+15] u/stupidber: Canadian Finance Minister Warns of Tougher Times Ahead ya no shit retard [+15] u/FinanialGambler777: Warren Buffet right now: 🚬🥃 [+15] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: Bondi really did call the top [+14] u/RjBloxks: It’s like 🥭waits til I full port to start his geopolitical bullshit can’t wait til this tard croaks [+14] u/Infamous-Coyote-5312: Did Zuckerberg get deployed to Israel wtf [+14] u/Sea_Trip_8941: In 6 months he will be saying “ the war is almost over” [+14] u/I_work_too_much: Short term pain for long term destitution [+13] u/memmolemmo: 10Y is getting closer to 4.5%. Trump is very close to a TACO. [+13] u/pinghing: 8 BIG BOATS OF OIL VERY BIG BOATS THE BIGGEST BOATS [+13] u/ComfortablePiglet842: Hows my meta calls ive been too busy to check my port [+13] u/TraipseTraveller: Remember when the DOW was at 50k for a day and a half? [+13] u/ClaytonRook: I guess I'll just fill up my gas tank with good intentions [+13] u/plzplzplztendies: #CALL AMBULAMB 4 BUL [+12] u/aioliravioli: Lebron(shills gambling companies) Jordan(actual gambling addiction) further proof MJ the goat [+12] u/hey-coffee-eyes: How can you talk about the Dow when the released Epstein files are over 50,000 pages? [+12] u/downvotescatpictures: I hereby formally propose that we allow crying in the casino. Thank you for your attention to this matter. [+12] u/lilfatpotato: Wake up. Lose money. Sleep. Repeat. [+12] u/HandsomeTod11: In another timeline a lady with a funny laugh is president and SPY is edging 720 [+12] u/cinciNattyLight: When it’s the real dip you won’t be thinking it’s a dip, you will be thinking the whole system is collapsing. [+11] u/FistPunch_Vol_7: I AM CASH GANG!!! WHAT DO I DO!!! [+11] u/zephyrs85: Received a 2 dollar dividend from Meta, fuck yes [+11] u/HandsomeTod11: Man using ChatGPT I feel like Harry Potter staring in that mirror and seeing his parents. Shit just tells you what you wanna hear [+11] u/Top-Sir-1215: Apparently a couple days ago Jim Cramer said to buy Reddit. Lol [+11] u/bb483: My only joy now is losing less than others [+11] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: BREAKING: The strait is still closed, but Wendy's drive through is open [+11] u/HandsomeTod11: Knowing I’m getting fired 4/1 and setting all my meetings with clients for 4/2 👌🏼 [+11] u/ryu311: aint gonna lie. i kinda miss the biden economy... [+11] u/TraipseTraveller: Let me check my portfolio.. aaaaaand there's no money in here (laughs in danger) [+11] u/Rude_Judgment7928: 4.255% 7y high yield. We cooked. Public credit too expensive. Private credit in shambles. Iran doesn't even matter. Main reason to hold assets is the money printer is months away from starting. Gains driven by dollar devaluation. Best case is probably to find a country that is responsible. Good luck. [+11] u/PinEconomy2338: I love getting into endless wars where it kills Americans and drives cost of things up [+11] u/Dear_Respond4522: Yall arent gonna believe this but the WHO just announced that every single person who bought yesterday is retarded [+10] u/pinghing: You gotta escalate to de-escalate ain't that right mr.bessent? [+10] u/skychief99: Foreign oil and natural gas firms are evacuating staff from the United Arab Emirates, Qatar, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait and Iraq. [+10] u/S-Club-Party: Most of Reddit’s content is created/posted by, moderated by, and commented on by bots. They have gone out of their way to encourage bot creation and use, to the point of removing stuff like custom emojis that were too complex for bots, and hiding profile history making bots harder to identify. Adding ID verification at this stage is somehow even dumber than their NFT store was. I’m not sure there’s a more poorly managed business out there. [+10] u/QuantrixQuintrix: we really going to watch a nuke get dropped through tik-tok feeds with music overlaid? [+10] u/Axonum: At this rate, MU and SNDK will be recommended in r/valueinvesting [+10] u/Maximum-Counter-4904: it’s a 3 fent patch day indeed [+10] u/AlpacaDream7: I am officially an MU bagholder [+10] u/Aranthos-Faroth: Get ready for the thursday night pump followed by the friday night after market close nuclear warhead straight to your port of hormuz. [+10] u/Neverluckyinosrs: Mango trying to bring the U.S economy to Russian levels [+10] u/northdancer: 10 year going to force 🥭 to act again [+10] u/WendyDumpsterFire: Guys I have autism how did this happen [+10] u/VIPDeluxeTendies: I remember 9:45 this morning when bols were jorkin it hard. [+10] u/tandoori_taco_cat: AI bankrupting legacy corporations left and right. See, it is useful for something. [+10] u/Visible_Sir7057: Y'all Americans wanted all this winning and 🥭 [+10] u/Left-Signature-5250: And just like that I became a META long term investor yesterday [+10] u/djln491: generational crying opportunity [+10] u/myboywears: The cognitive test was to test you for dementia. Literally nothing else. [+10] u/Small-Maintenance-65: lol you could be right 10 times in a row but the 11th will wipe you. Don’t know anyone is getting big gains in this shit show [+10] u/tandoori_taco_cat: Panique by Ralph Lauren [+9] u/LURKER21D: worse. he said if they knew what he was about to do they'd 25th him. can't make this shit up [+9] u/Chemical-Coconut-203: "Surely Microsoft's at the bottom! I'll buy calls!" - micro brain with a micro soft. [+9] u/gkdjsl: Obvious weekend escalation = why not jump into USO calls right now? [+9] u/evangr721: 25% of lifetime gains (investing in gold and ETFs, no options or penny stocks) wiped out in 1 month. Thanks 🥭 [+9] u/Left-Signature-5250: How am I so consistently wrong? That got to be a skill of its own. I should really do exactly the opposite of what I think I want to do and I am a fucking millionaire in three months. [+9] u/Liquidsnake959: Cool I’m losing thousands a day [+9] u/drbigtoe: They can try to pump it all they want- there is no good/easy way out of this and it absolutely will get worse before it gets better. Even if they stop any and all action today, the energy shock alone is a certainty [+9] u/twenty_three_three: Only another 40% to go. [+9] u/Lello163: DOW over 50k was the signal [+9] u/ZuluSkies: Get that dead cat a fucking jetpack ffs [+9] u/Reasonable_Roger: world is hostage to some idiots holding narrow points of water hostage. ww3 incoming. [+9] u/sappy92: Worlds plunging into a global recession and Trump is complaining about wet grass and tents. [+9] u/Voenker: # TotalEnergies evacuates 1,300 staff from Middle East BOLISH for OIL [+9] u/TechnologyEven6926: A lot of people are waiting for the black swan I’m afraid we are sitting inside of it [+9] u/HandsomeTod11: We all know them boots hitting the ground after we close [+9] u/Big-Refrigerator1899: Orange: I thought we'd have higher oil prices and lower equities... SPY: hold my beer [+9] u/cbusoh66: Boots on the ground is a certainty now, 🥭is actually trying to give them (and himself) an exit ramp because the war hawks in his circle along with the Israelis want to go scorched earth on the Mullahs and he seems like the sane one left in the room. The question is, does Iran lash out on its gulf neighbors and do they have anything left in their stockpile to lash out? If they do, oil is going to $200. If they back off in the next couple of days, SPY pumps 5%. [+9] u/BaxterrStockman: Iran is the Joker laughing in 🦇 face as he beats the shit out of him in that interrogation scene [+9] u/gbgbgb1912: 1. Doom scroll Reddit 2. Life sucks from being a loser (because you’re on Reddit) 3. Blame Reddit 4. Profit [+8] u/shimmy_kimmel: “We have other targets we want to hit” - Mango [+8] u/zNatural: Mongo fucked us boys [+8] u/Gothams_Bat: Finally the V copium [+7] u/YouDontKnowDino: Press F to pay respects to MSFT 🫡 [+7] u/ConstantAd1: Oil calls are prrrrrrinting [+7] u/1foxyboi: Feels like covid but on a smaller scale. 2/3 days are red, every green day is immediately sold off the next. No two green days in a row. Not as drastic as covid, but just perpetual downward pressure because of Iran [+7] u/Dontlookimnaked: Which one of you assholes convinced me to buy RDDT at 4x ipo price?? [+7] u/Necessary_Ad_9800: #Just hit the circuit breaker ffs [+6] u/SpaceToaster: It's slowly sinking in.... the market is fucked: \- Employment softness persists \- New energy crunch kicking off + inflation \- Private credit bubble is starting to wobble It's not a good recipe. [+29] u/Any-Camel-9913: RUBIO: HORMUZ COULD BE OPENED TOMORROW IF IRAN ALLOWED IT Nah bro im done with all these imbeciles I lose brain cells every single day [+17] u/TaoTeCha: I did not time the bottom correctly... [+16] u/greyenlightenment: Trump pretty much boxed himself in. Strait will remain closed indefinitely. only options are quitting or land invasion. [+16] u/ResponsibleValue7745: None of this even needed to happen [+15] u/No_Cod972: I am opening a casino in which crying is allowed and encouraged [+15] u/ConstantEfficiency83: Where’s the idiot that said the green candles in the morning this week meant the “big guys” and buying the dip 🤣. Some absolute tards here man [+14] u/Acrobatic-Ostrich168: Holy shit is this finally the big one?? Technicals are fucked and macroeconomic scene is destroyed [+14] u/iAmGrimTV: You've heard of a 🍌 Republic. Welcome to a 🥭 Republic. [+14] u/lobsterspider: If you liked liberation day you’re gonna love liberation year [+13] u/dyshynky: Siphoned the gas out of my lawnmower so I could drive to the unemployment office. Economy is looking strong. [+13] u/AppleJuiceTwo: if youre on trumps team, what do you even tell him to say right now to stop the bleeding? [+13] u/Vegetable_Divide2193: oh meta -2% cant get lower than that oh meta -3% cant get lower than that oh meta -4% cant get lower than that oh meta -5% cant get lower than that oh meta -6% cant get lower than that oh meta -7% cant get lower than that oh meta -8% cant get lower than that [+13] u/shasta747: LMAO Bill Ackman's fund is down close to 20% YTD, just a regard like the rest of us, never take this man seriously [+13] u/Remarkable_Owl: THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I’M SAYING IT! MAKE IT STOP! THANK YOU! [+13] u/No_Cod972: This will be known as Orange Thursday [+12] u/KlBAS: Beating will continue until the hotline is pinned [+12] u/r4rLIC: The best part of this that we had absolutely no need to attack Iran 🤗 [+12] u/Swiftnice: Don't fall for the fake V [+12] u/RealPrinceZuko: If impeachment talks are announced I swear to God we limit up lol [+12] u/420juuls: It's actually breathtaking how fucked we are [+11] u/sl3azebag: ngl I’m done trading [+11] u/RoyalFail6: Remember chat, 🥭 is playing 3 dementia chess [+11] u/Basilthebatlord: god forbid a bear get a lil motion [+11] u/RealPrinceZuko: No one believes your shit dude. Announce something meaningful, like tariff stim checks or something. Literally nothing you say has credibility [+11] u/Frequent-Length-9966: 🥭is King of the Retards. 🫵😮‍💨🏳️‍🌈 [+11] u/BurstingTitan88: Can someone pls put the adults back in charge? [+11] u/esoa: Why would Joe Biden do this?? [+11] u/sha1dy: # WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED? IRAN ATTACKED CALIFORNIA? [+11] u/moazzam0: Trump sweatting bullets watching the markets rn. He's gonna give in to Iran's demands. He'll say they offered no-duty on US made vessels through their strait, and call it a win (virtually no US built ships go there). [+10] u/Clubpenguin8888: The acceptance stage of the 7 stages of grief hitting hard rn [+10] u/Fine-Drummer2604: Iran easily out negotiating 🥭 with 2 goats and a camel as advisors. I’ve never seen anyone making such panic arguments. That’s our best deal maker in the world. Congratulations to us [+10] u/Whybother456: Orange this morning: I thought the stock market would go down more Market Makers: Say no more! [+10] u/Sawgambler: https://preview.redd.it/20uh5qd4jfrg1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ccc925da174cd93ee8159f713bf03835f34c717e Ggs 😭 [+10] u/Organic-Grocery: My puts that expired yesterday died for nothing [+10] u/JMWTurnerAppreciator: People need to start accepting that if the strait remains closed for another couple weeks we’re just getting started, SPY is only 50 points off its ATH, there’s still so much more room for it to drop [+9] u/spwath: Another 0.5% please lets get to -2% [+9] u/smileysmiley123: "We want to bomb some more things before we leave" Jesus christ. [+9] u/Ok_Dish1650: I find it funny how they call it "options" when there's literally only two buttons, red and green 🤷 [+9] u/Senior_Professional4: Gg bears you got me good… can I have my money back now haha? [+9] u/BazInTheOrangeRanger: Had to DCA the life out of my 651 puts. Glad I did. [+9] u/Least_Cry_4396: calls have been loaded initiate the fake V [+9] u/Scribble_Box: They said they wanted a president who would run the country like a business. They probably should have looked at the track record... [+8] u/SovietPower777: Overnight and premarket tomorrow [+8] u/Leaguefizzics: Sold everything, close app. Life feels good again suddenly [+8] u/Coloradospruce33: This is quite the conundrum we've gotten ourselves into now isn't it? [+8] u/Jacobpapi: So obvious with boots on the way, you cant be surprised [+8] u/JMWTurnerAppreciator: SPY has been trading sideways for like 3 months now, and we’re in the midst of a real macroeconomic shock while no one knows what’s going on with private credit, and the entire economy is propped up by a technology that won’t be profitable for years- and you still have retards saying “buy the dip” lol [+8] u/BalanceWide4735: we will rave on your grave [+7] u/KlBAS: Trump tweet in 3 hours exactly to pump it up [+6] u/Senior_Professional4: I think there’s some macroeconomic headwinds [+17] u/SuffiecientSapian: I got called a communist today for saying I don’t support the “war” in Iran lmfao [+16] u/Chalk1980: I'm just glad my pdf president, his friends and family are getting richer [+16] u/Initial-Magazine2169: Legit just read this on a thread in another sub: "People that are upset at President Trump and his family are just jealous that they do not know how to read and predict the markets like he can. God has gifted him in reading/analyzing large sets of data. How else do you think he was so successful in his other business ventures like Real Estate? He can predict and read the market with precision. I say good on him!" What a fucking terrible day to have more than a single brain cell. [+14] u/mandoslambo: Should have taken the W with Venezuela and coasted on that. Greedy ass retard [+14] u/CigInside: #i make six figures… Disappear [+14] u/Hist0racle: Its always darkest before the dawn.. Lol jk we fucked [+14] u/EatMaTesticles: Microsoft 365 is actually a nice joke [+13] u/oldsguy65: If you want to feel better, you could always try to convince yourself that it things would be even worse if the woman had been elected instead. [+12] u/Educational-Cat-2553: ww3 and still cant have cheap mortgage [+12] u/liquidtv78: i want to throw up but i cant afford to lose any of my food right now [+11] u/JayRoo83: Seriously MSFT, just absolutely go fuck yourself [+11] u/dokutarodokutaro: I went like a decade not thinking about Iran and now because some other country wants to build condos we gotta print unlimited military bucks, send a few of our 19 year olds to die, and pay $7 for gas? Cool. [+11] u/PlentyArmy2411: THEY MURDERED MY BOY 😫 (GOOG) [+11] u/Necessary_Fly_9266: My gf slapped me because I screamed lemme see the V! [+11] u/ckami_91: Trump: IRAN WANTS TO MAKE A DEAL. COMPLETELY OBLITERATED Trump 1 day later: PEACE TALKS GOING WELL On Black Friday: We are increasing the draft age to 44 for PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST [+11] u/Cantthinkofacoolnam: Reddit is going down 50% in the next 2 weeks [+10] u/drakilian: Short every rip, buy every dip has turned into short every rip, short every dip, sell everything panic [+10] u/Certain_Sleep2941: At least we got rid of DEI. [+10] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Imagine this shit crashes tonight instead of over the weekend cause everyone's finally seeing this situation for what it is and wants out before the weekend crashout. [+10] u/Ill-Expression1737: whoever shorted meta made a killing [+10] u/BubbaDaHorse: They used to say, don't bet against America. Now they say, you're fuggin retards over there. [+10] u/ChefUnhappy8523: It’s not even losing THIS money that upsets me. It’s losing hope that this can be my escape from the rat race… [+9] u/mannycalls24: Indicies just slowly bleeding out good lord [+9] u/Nice-Difference8641: Little Marco couldn’t even pump the market at all with his “peace talks are going well” comment 😭😭 [+9] u/country-mac4: Going all in on puts wish me luck [+9] u/Jarlaxle_rigged_it: # IT CAN ONLY GOOD HAPPEN [+9] u/OkSuccotash258: negotiation talks going well [+9] u/questionr: It's getting really crowded behind this Wendy's dumpster. [+8] u/Individual_Error_428: Please Donald Pump, save us please [+6] u/StockB0Y: The indecisiveness is immaculate [+6] u/ckami_91: BLACK FRIDAY INCOMING 📉 [+30] u/WhiteCollllarCrime69: Puts on my landlord getting April rent. [+15] u/GrandKnew: 🥭 uhh let's destroy the global energy paradigm 🤪💨 [+14] u/Zealousideal_Book_40: Freak the fuck out and sell everything [+13] u/FeelingCulture649: Cheeks: clapped Meat: cranked 3x Bags: held [+11] u/Xzlk: Can’t even take a drive to clear my head bc of gas prices. Fuck it, I’m relapsing. [+10] u/SavingsYesterday1164: imagine a flash crash [+10] u/ryan1826: "Be greedy when others are fearful" \-Warren Buffett [+10] u/LouieM13: Bulls getting shelled like Skenes today [+10] u/aa73gc: The year is 2029. The strait is only open to tankers who pay via fart coin. Bulls in wsb say the v is coming any moment now [+10] u/leakybiscuit: social media being too addictive sounds bullish to me [+10] u/Icommandyou: Stocks down, oil up, metals down, bonds up, not even looking at housing rates. Best economy ever [+9] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: 24 hours until chat becomes a prayer circle [+9] u/ebfeebfe: The New York Stock Exchange has until 4pm to end all hostilities against SPY, or else I'll close the Strait of Wendy's-Drive-Through [+9] u/spellbreaker: daily threads are way better when it's dumping. 17.6k comments is diabolical [+9] u/Goldleader-23: Hows that dip tasting bulls? 😆 [+8] u/PompeiiSketches: STOOPID BOOLS WERE SO COCKY 🫵 YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE [+8] u/leandrostonks: sooo no pump today? :( [+8] u/deadflagblue: This is so fuckin funny. lmao america [+8] u/popsferragamo: This dip has some legs. Are we gonna see a circuit breaker today? That would be fun [+8] u/BLADIBERD: any reason for the freefall? did mango say something or is it just that today is the day? [+8] u/flamingosforsale123: All thos cuck billionaires kissed the ring and look at what they got lmao. Pathetic [+7] u/aqjingson: Bro I’m actually cooked [+7] u/Common_Ad_3059: When 🥭 is out of office, groceries will be up 200% [+7] u/SaaSGrass: NO SERIOUSLY I WOULD CLOSE OUT YOUR PUTS NOW