What Are Your Moves Tomorrow, March 26, 2026

[+40] u/HonestScar7176: Bulls are such assholes. They aren’t hoping for positive data or good economic news. Their lives bank on the tweets of a mad man lying to their stupid faces. Hahahhahaha. What a bunch of morons. [+38] u/Necessary-Lychee-486: FUCK SCHWAB. DID YOU TAKE A BRIBE FROM MANGO TO MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR PEOPLE TO SELL? [+37] u/OkayWwahevr: IRAN my portfolio into the ground [+33] u/patmccock86: Is Iran hacking Schwab? What the hell is going on Chuck?? [+25] u/ConstantEfficiency83: CNN 3:29PM - “Boots are on ground on Kharg island and are actively taking fire” *SPY -.4%* 🥭 Truth 3:31PM - “We have outfitted the 82nd with new combat gear and they are simply new boot goofin” *SPY +3.6%* [+22] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: haven't seen that much illegal V since my visit to Little St. James [+21] u/CLYDEFR000G: I wish I had more money to just fuck off from this planet. Just give me like a 70k salary from only dividends and I’ll just go live in a cabin in the woods. Corporate life has me tired man. I fear it’s only going to get worse with AI watching over our every click, what is the point in any of this [+20] u/GreenGameboyColor: Raise you hand if Microsoft has made you cry Come on, don't be shy [+19] u/orangeyougladiator: I’d like to talk to the fucking manager [+18] u/SouthNice7324: My continuing Microsoft experience 29th Jan - $440 - Market overreaction, good time to get in and ride the bounce back 3rd Feb - $410 - This must be the bottom, let's average down a bit 6th Feb - $399 - This is definitely the bottom 24th Feb - $389 - 100% the bottom now, RSI is so oversold now. I have never seen an RSI of 7 6th Mar - $410 - We are so back, let ride this back to $500 24th Mar - $372 - guess I am a long term investor. Today - $369 - I am tired boss, very tired End of April 2026 - $299 - whyyyyy [+17] u/WendyDumpsterFire: Fuck you fuck you fuck you Schwab [+17] u/PinealTone: 🥭 live at 7pm to announce our 9th win of the war. We just can't stop winning that we need to be reminded. Calls! [+17] u/Longjumping-One-7022: lol us official telling cnn this could be a mass casualty event for US. Unreal. [+16] u/Unhappy-Ad-2609: The best traders right now are those who forgot their password [+15] u/primalmarket: If you lost money today you deserve it.. I always keep my money in a safe spot under the mattress in an Ovaltine tin can. [+15] u/Dorkasteri: The most powerful person in the world is the intern who compiles the daily war tiktok videos for mango. [+15] u/McClintockC: We've already won this war 3 times and it hasn't even started yet? 🤨🇺🇸🥇 [+15] u/CigInside: The level of hopium on Iran seems a bit insane to me. Literally everything they are saying suggests taco is just lying. Or maybe I’m just regarded [+14] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: Imagine going to a casino where the pit boss walks over periodically and moves the roulette ball to a black number, and still deciding to bet on red because “He can’t keep doing this forever” [+14] u/IlinistRainbow6: i’ve unrealized lost almost an entire years salary on MSFT calls [+13] u/moorhound: *suuuuuuuuper* gay trading day [+13] u/tpaine_10: Last year, I lost $30k trading options, this year I’m up $1200. I’m definitely making my money back [+13] u/orsomeshitidk: I’m so tired of the pedos getting to groom the market with impunity bruh. I hope this country grows a sack soon. [+13] u/zeren1ty: So Bessent keeps shorting oil while SPY is kept under 690 until Friday market close where 'boots on the ground' mission is announced by orange and oil rips into the weekend, only to be dogwalked again on Monday morning by Bessent This is becoming entirely tiresome [+13] u/The_BakedCrusader: This market deserves SPY $600 at this point because of how gullible and complacent they've been. Wallstreet is supposedly so smart and forward looking and they're hanging their hopes on the word of Trump, who they know is a notorious liar? [+13] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Thinkin bout the bulls who decided to buy calls when SPY opened +1.2% [+13] u/SouthNice7324: Sometimes I need to learn not to trade [+13] u/would-rather-read: go look at the statement by the republican head of the armed forces committee. we are cooked [+12] u/WendyDumpsterFire: Fucking Schwab you piece of shit [+12] u/MissMatriarch: How long until the daily manipulated pump? Place your bets here ➡️ [+12] u/Frozen_Shades: [I won't name names but this Redditor, not the sharpest tool in the shed. AKA big dumb. ](https://www.reddit.com/user/me/) [+12] u/DanqueLeChay: Buddy of mine went all in on leveraged corn. The actual grain. Not sure whether he’s genius or retarded [+12] u/HonestScar7176: Imagine if mango didn’t lie the other day. SPY would be in the 630s. [+12] u/Soffatjockis: Everyone seems to be balls deep in msft. Wtf are you? Boomers? This isn't /r/valueinvesting broskis. Here we buy retarded shit. [+12] u/bearhunter429: #Dead cat bounce is complete. Drilling resumes next week. LMAO🤌 [+12] u/oldprecision: Life was so much better at TDAmeritrade. I'm tired of these Schwab losers. Worse than Robinhood. [+11] u/Far-Sherbert-8634: who made money on 0dte today [+11] u/_rockthemike: The reddest Green Day ever [+11] u/SouthNice7324: My most regarded trading day of the year (I thought msft was a steal at 440). Risked 10k and left with $9 [+11] u/Bludeagle: Bols see a 0.5% green day and think this is the end of the war [+11] u/pinghing: Oil creeping back up. Time for the don to announce something [+11] u/UnknownM007: Calls on 🥭announcing a ground invasion tonight [+11] u/Numerous_Two_102: Being greedy when others are scared has not worked for me [+10] u/burtburtburtcg: Now a nice little pump that poor bol can’t touch in the AH fake market. Bol watching through the zoo glass [+10] u/Careless-Maize-8915: I feel like Schwab fuks me at least twice a year with their bullshit [+10] u/East-Resolution4446: Today was boring and sucked [+10] u/-IQ200: Made $240 today, we’re so fucking back boys. (currently -6k for the month, this is a cry for help) [+10] u/emanresu711: That’s it. I’m checking myself in this weekend [+10] u/StraitOfHummus: Nothing is priced in, nobody has the full perspective about how bad things really are, and we are one bad headline away from an entire system collapse. Calls. [+10] u/Malkovtheclown: Who knew that a country with literally nothing to loose and an economic nuke they can use to hold the world ransom wouldn't fold so easy? You know besides every single military advisor that ever spoke about what would happen if we attacked Iran. Its a surprise folks, we bombed them good though and killed their leader! We win right? They surrender now? [+10] u/shindiggaa: According to my calculations MSFT can go down another $371 before hitting zero [+10] u/mighty_sys_admin: seeing people trade hundreds of shares of SPY makes me realize that I am, in fact, poor [+10] u/bigmeatbag: Israel gonna blow up the negotiations and blame Iran to keep this shit going. [+9] u/MissMatriarch: With all due respect: what the fuck [+9] u/Substantial-Use-2867: It's okay. All those amphibious assault ships are just carrying Peace Marines. That's who hand delivers all the peace bullets. [+9] u/kcramthun: Lost in the sauce today was the feds admitting they couldn't find criminal evidence against Jerome, lol, get fucked Pirro [+9] u/Valkorion335786: When I was about 20, l became a Foreman on a Minecraft server that was building a 1-to-1 scale replica of Middle Earth. They gave me a team of laborers and l'd have them dig ditches, redirect canals etc. This was something you did in the Qing Dynasty in like 1895. [+9] u/burtburtburtcg: Bol @ 9 am: today’s the day for a big tweet Bol @ noon: *furiously refreshing 🥭 twitter* Bol @ 3 pm: any minute now Bol @ 6 pm: *Googles ‘is Twitter down’ Bol @ 7 pm: mom is making chicken nuggies Bol @ 2 am: surely we get it while I sleep Bol @ 4 am: *tossing, turning* Bol @ 9 am: I’m a long term investor 🤡 [+9] u/FullCopy: Schwab is staffed by regards. [+9] u/NlNJANEER: Did all the algos turn off to save gas?! What the actual fuck is this bullshit [+9] u/IlinistRainbow6: god i’m so stupid for going so deep into MSFT [+9] u/Ecomonist: To the future soldiers leading a ground war; A landmine in the USA means you have to scrape dog poop off of your shoe, whereas a landmine in Iran means you have to scrape dog off of your shoe, as well as the windshield, the hood, the fender, and the roof of your transport. And later scrape the trauma from the depths of your mind via therapy sometime in your 40s. [+9] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: https://www.reddit.com/r/ValueInvesting/s/cYhhMYsnfu #The Microsoft kiss of death [+9] u/Ok_GAINZ: Ferrari stopping shipments to the Middle East is gonna make the Saudi’s join this conflict full force. [+9] u/IlinistRainbow6: If i was a smart man, id buy 60k worth of MSFT and have sold calls the last month, instead i bought 60k worth of 440c and am down -70% [+9] u/iThinkiStartedATrend: We can take Kharg. Whoever holds Kharg will be bombed constantly. This is just sending kids to die. I hope it’s posturing, but if anyone still supports this, please let this be your red line. [+8] u/geddyclaus: How can I claim my part of the settlement for social media causing internet addiction? [+8] u/S-Club-Party: #>!M!<>!O!<>!D!<>!S!<>!A!<>!R!<>!E!<>!🌈!< [+8] u/saw-it: Spy has rejected my ceasefire talks [+8] u/StraitOfHummus: Press conference today was sure something... Reporter: "Are there face to face talks confirmed with Iran, and with who?" Leavitt: "There is speculation about talks that could happen but nothing is official." [+8] u/BillyShears2015: Mango stans still haven’t realized that we’re at the point in this war where if it were a business deal Mango would have already decided, “we’ll just ride it out and declare bankruptcy” [+8] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: “More money more problems” whispered the bull while puttin on his pijamas n gettin ready for bedtime [+8] u/iThinkiStartedATrend: I don’t give a fuck about money anymore. I’m broken as a person or extremely happy and I can’t decide. Everything seems great on my end? [+8] u/manonthejohn: Jesus. How low will microsoft go? [+8] u/skychief99: The Orange Pinocchio has a sister. Her name is Karoline. [+8] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: I cannot believe I lucked into dumping MU when it hit $402 last night. [+8] u/Dull_Broccoli1637: Lmfao. Iran says fuq you. US sending more troops and ships. Israel trying to take over the world. Yeah shits not ending [+8] u/kcramthun: Remember when the press secretary denied the existence of the 15 point plan after other countries referenced key details from it? Good times. Good, totally normal times. Lol [+8] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: Wow puts are printing [+8] u/Internal_Field5970: Actually crazy some of you claim to be straight [+8] u/NotMe357: "Volkswagen is considering plans to convert one of its German car factories into a production hub for Israel’s missile defence systems, per the FT" Sounds like people around the world is preparing for WW4 now. [+7] u/Creative-Package6213: Today we were green, tomorrow we will be red! [+7] u/rioferdy838: Bought into $MU before earnings and look at it now. I really have the touch of shit. [+7] u/seeking-health: We should have listened to Greta 10 years ago and ditched oil [+7] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Oil calls spy puts once again victorious [+7] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Gonna need that lawyer that won that meta lawsuit to represent me in getting my investing losses back [+7] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: I’m tired of winning [+7] u/Abe2025: Its so f-kin amazing how my stop losses hit then stock immediately bounces way back up. [+7] u/Pete26l96: next support level for MSFT is $330 get the fuck out while u still can, windows is cooked, office is being replaced by gsuite even in the government, azure is lagging behind AWS and Google Cloud (propped up by one time migrations and OpenAI bs bookings). The founder even exposed in epstein files... [+7] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Boots on the ground 🥾🥾🥾🪖🪖🪖 [+7] u/McKoijion: The American media is finally starting to cover the other side of the oil story. It only took them a few weeks. https://www.nbcnews.com/world/russia/least-40-russias-oil-export-capacity-halted-reuters-calculations-show-rcna265150 [+7] u/orangeyougladiator: Literally a thread in pop culture chat rn where everyone is advocating for people to be fat again. Puts on ozempic. [+7] u/cannythecat: Futures will be blood red overnight and then we'll get a mango tweet in the morning about peace talks progressing well to reverse them. [+7] u/bruhhzilla: Walking around my city's downtown and the amount of people absolutely tweaked out of their fckn minds is honestly quite remarkable [+6] u/Independent_Drop4317: Today was a tough cookie [+6] u/benj760486: Almost forgot I could make money doing this [+6] u/VisualMod: #Ban Bet Lost /u/JakeSal10 made a bet that SPY would go to 700.0 within **1 week** when it was 661.494 and it did not, so they were banned for a week. Their record is now 2 wins and 2 losses [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) [+6] u/Notable_Naps: Why bother learning about Greeks, researching companies and paying attention to percentages and facts when the actual market doesn't give a flying f about any of that? I must learn to be one with the market vibes. [+6] u/yushey__: Will MSFT ever fucking bounce [+6] u/AwarenessOk5979: don't load those doomsday puts too early gents. boots on the ground this weekend is way too obvious [+6] u/raisedeyebrow4891: Only thing this market is good for is burning theta [+6] u/LadderAdmirable: One of these days are going to be a 2-3% gap down. Market can continue the rising pricing for only so long. [+6] u/zestykite: oil only 2% away from fake ceasefire news. im starting to think market doesnt believe the headlines. [+6] u/Illustrious-Low4128: I did it! $1600 more on puts at close! Let the dice roll [+6] u/Ccjgaara: Msft can go fuck itself, what a shit stockn [+6] u/StonksInvesteur: There were so many WTF in the thread enough to make WTF +12% today [+6] u/_BowlerHat_: Held my puts for the jobs report. It'll be a fake number, and everyone knows it, and it will still be awful. [+6] u/Ok_Wealth_3433: Why tf did I yolo into Friday puts [+6] u/ImperioRomeno: How can I regardmaxx my way through this mess if everyone is regard maxxing? [+6] u/Inca-Vacation: How long can I trust $MOS to run? Fun couple of days to get close to my cost basis. [+6] u/jda823: I don't think they will need to tweet today since the market finished up [+6] u/zangor: It may not be tomorrow. It may not be next week or month. But eventually the sheeple will realize that MSFT is way oversold and it will go just as fast in the other direction. [+6] u/BasalGangOrDie: When will they add hourly options? I want full port posts on SPX7000 9am exp [+6] u/Grindr_Master: Those wishing War to end 🤣 If that ends we just go back to AI bubble fear 😭😭😭🤣🤣🤣🤡 [+6] u/ThatGuyDan123: Im cash gang again they can do whatever they want in the middle east now lmao [+6] u/CEO-of-SOXL: Spring break on Kharg Island bitchesss [+5] u/looool_k_libtard: Casual $1000 oil refill for our house. 1/3 full, usually around $450 lmao [+5] u/495N: Anxiety is one little tree in your forest. Step back and look at the whole forest [+5] u/Cold_Distribution273: Spy was at 642 before the first taco lie. I gotta imagine we see at least under 640 before this is over. [+5] u/drigocien12: Geez wtf happened with amd? [+5] u/AcademicStandard3701: That close on qqq is fake as hell [+5] u/Big_Living8594: Safe Haven = shorting MSFT every time it’s up 0.5% that 💩 can never stay up [+5] u/pineapplekiwipen: IREN catching some strays meant for iran [+5] u/kazkeb: That EOD pump that happens after Robinhood force closes positions is hilarious and never gets old [+5] u/Internal_Field5970: This market is pretty retarded [+5] u/AfraidAnalyst: Imagine not shorting every pump today [+5] u/Small-Opening-4319: I bought puts for tomorrow [+5] u/Top-Meaning2626: Getting gaped real fuckin good [+5] u/IgorOlshanksy: Working on a big play for Iranian Pistachios. I'm gonna be rich. [+5] u/patmccock86: According to Schwab's home page my balance is $0. "WhOoPs the Supreme Leader stole your money! Nothing you can do but enlist to get it back" [+5] u/-IQ200: Unemployment numbers lower than expected. Mass global employment via on call position for the draft. May the odds be in your favor. 🥲 [+5] u/AlmightyCheesusCrust: There’s no way MSFT could drop more right ? *Right?* [+5] u/Pete26l96: Microtards stay losing LOL [+5] u/Actual_Difference617: People who look at the stock and see its down 30% down from ATH and see it as a discount rather than understanding the fundamentals and changing landscape are complete morons. [+5] u/slimeystevebob: Peace talks better go well, or we'll hit them harder than they've ever been hit before, believe me. Am I doing this right? [+5] u/jerm2z: WSB comments is pretty much my daily dose of education. I ain’t learning shit anywhere else [+5] u/bigstew6: Boots on the ground this weekend, prepare accordingly [+5] u/pineapplekiwipen: schwab activating diamond hands mode today is bullish, that usually happens near a bottom [+5] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Boots on the ground announced tonight. Gives em Thursday and Friday to dump, weekend to secure victory. Tweet before Monday morning that U.S. secured Kharg Island. Mission Accomplished. [+5] u/diddidntreddit: Can someone please add me to the insider trading group chat? Thanks [+5] u/Dcshipwreck: I lost like $300 today, I think I'm done with options y'all. /S [+5] u/Balbuto: I’m going to hit the gym and pretend for a few hours that world isn’t going to hell [+5] u/shinigami_2245: Not too confident about market direction, so I just doubled down [+5] u/DeviantDougy: Everyone’s shitting on Microsoft right now, kinda makes me want to full port [+5] u/TheNicestRedditor: If we go to kharg it’s going to be a bloodbath 😅 [+5] u/bringkiteback: We should’ve known we were cooked when the White House is taking donations for our debt [+5] u/Yousoldmetohigh: Someone in wsb surely has trumps cell number. Just let us know the ahead of time that were getting a market steadying tweet. [+5] u/CigInside: Wow Tehran just kinda looks like Denver. [+5] u/Slightlybadpicks: I don’t even know what my account looks like today holy shit Schwab get it together 🤬🤬🤬 [+5] u/Economy-Ad2156: I have to pay $2800 in gains taxes that I no longer have due to 0dtes 🤪 [+5] u/bringkiteback: I haven’t paid klarna back ever wtf they gonna do repo my burrito [+5] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Any more winning and I'll have to declare bankruptcy [+5] u/OneLeggedJaguar: They’re really going to fucking invade after market close Friday aren’t they? [+5] u/orsomeshitidk: Well that was gay. I say we all head to the Mexican restaurant before they all get deported and enjoy some chorizo queso and margs. [+31] u/Tall_Helicopter_833: 19 year olds are dying for the Epstein files cover up is kinda crazy [+28] u/GuwopGOAT: What Jerome Powell did for the economy is up there with the constitution and going to the moon. [+25] u/Hwangoutpltr: It's scary when you leave this sub. Reddit is fukd [+23] u/Basis_404_: At this point SPY seems like someone who hasn’t slept in close to 72 hours and is staggering around continuously slamming stimulants to stay awake but keeps getting slower and slower [+19] u/Previous_Hope_2087: I keep on being a pussy with my moves and selling way too early, but at least I’m not losing money I guess. I know the first time I hold it for longer I’ll get fucked. [+17] u/whitepug: does king retard have a dementia ramble scheduled for tonight [+16] u/night_shredder: Karoline said boobs on the ground [+16] u/Moepenmoes: Not buying anything until next week. Still no clarity on boots on the ground and Iran still denies any negotiations. 1 or 2 more dips are way more likely to happen next days than actual market recovery. [+15] u/NewDawn101: Economy is fucked get ready for reticent age to jump to 90 [+15] u/RonBlake: My January 200k gains were my Venezuela. My March 250k losses were my Iran. Kinda understand what the big guy is going through [+14] u/zuziannka: Was up 400 didn’t sell and lost 900 story of my options journey every godamn time I do this [+13] u/callsonreddit: Memory stocks fall as Google’s TurboQuant cuts memory 6x, boosts AI speed 8x [https://www.investing.com/news/stock-market-news/mu-wdc-sndk-fall-why-googles-turboquant-is-rattling-memory-stocks-4580176](https://www.investing.com/news/stock-market-news/mu-wdc-sndk-fall-why-googles-turboquant-is-rattling-memory-stocks-4580176) [+13] u/jonneh: **FT** > Russia is close to completing a phased shipment of drones, medicine and food to Iran, according to western intelligence reports that detail Moscow’s efforts to keep its embattled partner fighting. [+13] u/aqjingson: If a recession were to happen I don’t think many of us would make it…which is why it’ll prob happen [+12] u/lipmanz: Suing because you can’t put your phone down [+12] u/Full_Boysenberry_198: Dentists are the new used car salesmen [+12] u/solidsneeze: is the 48 hours up yet? [+11] u/phagebiscotti: Ended up +$15 today 😎 [+11] u/callsonreddit: I am 1k away from breaking even this month 😭 I really am a day trader SPY -4% [+11] u/MyCactusTeacher: Meanwhile Xi is just shopping on Oilibaba [+11] u/Montyprice7206: 🥭 Iran deal will be identical to Obama Iran deal, but this one will be better cause 🥭 did it 🤌 [+11] u/scm66: Some of you will lose your jobs, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. [+10] u/Haunting-Window-5125: Can't wait for markets to trade 24/7 so these fucks won't be able to hide these bearish decisions on Friday afternoon [+10] u/nesnayu: The more I browse the schwab subreddit and see these cute little posts of people in mutual funds with their couple of thousands of dollars over the years of safe investing, the more I realize what a fucking degenerate I truly am. Holy fuck, we are not from the same planet. [+10] u/PhotoSpheres: A hedge fund manager told me to buy silver today. I threw in 100k, put in a stop loss but he better not screw me over [+10] u/SlipperyToots: Okay who saw the -3.96% on SPY just now [+10] u/Nixievibe: Spy glitched to -6% for a second. [+10] u/MarginCuck: MSFT bols how you feeling? Ready for $299? 🤣 [+10] u/SoloOutdoor: Bag7 not doing so hot [+10] u/Brazilian-options: MSFT is the new google lol “Hur dur vibe coders will end the Office and Windows reign!!!!!” What a bunch of regarded nonsense lmaooo Watch MSFT go above 600 in the next 12 months, suddenly seen as the “winner” of AI because of some ChatGPT integration on windows and Office. [+9] u/Ok-Piano8789: weird place for the market. underpriced if things resolve, overpriced if we cant open hormuz soon. fake/posturing headlines all day. seems like just waiting and seeing is the move for now. [+9] u/ThermalChaser: The strait is actually crooked as fuk [+9] u/JernauG: Why do I feel like I’m being tricked into shorting oil [+9] u/ayashifx55: 'Not a war' , then 'We already won the war' but hey , we need to send MORE SOLDIERS and we need extra 200B$ in funds. Makes sense. [+9] u/Coley44: Saw that post on the front page about the bool doing fent, I haven't laughed like that for an entire year. Quality fucking shitpostinf [+9] u/WishboneMajor7915: After market spike! Pre market dip! Open green dildo! Then big red ones until end of Friday! [+9] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: they said i would amount to nothing, but, i am 20k in the hole, that's not nothing, that's tax savings for 6 years [+9] u/cryptohorn: Boots on the ground this weekend [+9] u/unique_ptr: Here's a fun fact: The War Powers Resolution is potentially unconstitutional meaning the 60 day limit would be gone and there would be absolutely no way for Congress to stop the war. So if we're not out of Iran after 60 days we get to... *drumroll*... fight about it before the Supreme Court, which ultimately could leave us with an executive branch that can make war whenever, wherever, without limitation. Isn't the future exciting!? [+9] u/Own-Kaleidoscope-731: i really should buy index fund and get the fuck outta here, but doesnt give me enough emotions [+9] u/tinydisaster: I can’t see the outcome of this where it’s not a disaster. [+9] u/SoloOutdoor: Thanks for wiping last year's gains, appreciate it [+9] u/BigMisterLawyerDude: Here we go, war is back on the menu boys! [+9] u/Basis_404_: Social media algorithms are the lead paint and cigarettes of this generation [+9] u/DismalCreme4680: Iran already preparing for booties on the ground by laying traps [+9] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: I now have a legal presence to sue 🥭. I’ll say im addicted to checking his truths so my portfolio doesn’t get blown up. [+8] u/Traditional_Page_75: It’s not returning to 50k [+8] u/jonneh: What happened to “*when missiles fly, time to buy?*” 😭😭 [+8] u/Disconn3cted: Don't sell at the bottom don't sell at the bottom don't sell at the bottom *rocking back and forth* 😭 [+8] u/WSB-mods-are-: "Strait from Hormuz!" food truck dishing out some of the best halal trays I've ever had in Boston. Great portions and decent prices. Highly recommend the pottery kebab! ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ [+8] u/TowelOld743: Straight outta Hormuz, crazy mothafucka named Ice Cube [+8] u/ThoseGelInsertThings: Legitimately nerve-racking waiting to see whether boots hit the ground or he chickens out. Insane situation. [+8] u/According-Page8618: https://x.com/bubblemaps/status/2036868052374216715 3 polymarket insiders that have a 100% winrate on the iran usa war that are all connected placed new bets ceasefire by 31 march. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iwm4ym9S3p8 also pretty intresting video and in the end the bubblemaps guy is on there [+8] u/Mr_Madrass: What the hell are in those files, abused alien kids? [+8] u/Character_Pirate_152: 70K ground troops isn't enough to do anything. Can't even speculate what is going on. [+8] u/IsNotAnOstrich: moving from schwab to somewhere else after they completely shit the bed today recommendations? [+8] u/OrdinaryMix4013: #wen taco gonna show off this beutiful gift he got the other day [+8] u/i_simp_f: If watching random children play pathetic baseball is what life's all about then I am going to kill myself [+8] u/ebitdasga: No idea how I did today because Schwab isn’t working. wtf would they do if I had 0DTEs? That’s terrifying [+8] u/SoloOutdoor: Might sell everything, last 3 days so busy at work I couldn't have a moment to care. Was a relief in this mango manipulation [+8] u/9tacos: Need a new Secretary of Gwar [+7] u/WSB-mods-are-: I can't wait to hold my newborn great grandchild in my arms as we both watch SPY finally hit 700 while on my deathbed [+7] u/ArtisticFrame5790: Didnt mango end like 16 wars. Can he end this one too and add to his list? Would tariffs work?? [+7] u/collegefootballfan69: From what I understand Trump offered to pay Iran in Trump digital coins. They haven’t returned the call [+7] u/Zeppu: Many people have forgotten what the normal historical ratios are for many companies. They're going to remember them the hard way. [+7] u/Ill-Expression1737: is there an off button for gay [+7] u/East-Detective6697: OpenAI is promising private equity a guaranteed 17.5% return to raise fresh capital. Sounds familiar, right? [+7] u/Shank_Dank: Lost 8k of my 40k from November and made it all back day trading. I’m out bitches ✌️ [+7] u/Scalpaholic: I wonder if/when 🥭 starts to think how absolutely stupid he looks and there's no way to 🌮 out of it for the first time on his life? Edit: Also will any reporter have the brass balls to say nobody cares about the stupid ballroom over how the war and economy is going? [+7] u/WarmCan3034: R index funds even safe anymore 😔. I feel safer with 0dtes [+7] u/Whoopziedaisy: Would rather have tits in the face than boots on the ground [+7] u/Used-Cryptographer-6: Peace talks bs was trump market manipulating [+7] u/ercanbas: Hey guys have you heard about Vaporeon? [+7] u/wafflepiezz: Getting fucked in the ass [+7] u/smart_doge: My mom has given me permission to watch Toy Story today. 🥳 [+7] u/EnginrA: I’m here to chew gum and pleasure women and I’m all out of gum [+6] u/bhaaaaaaa: What is up with the MSFT worship here? Have any of you used their products? Its not far off that AI easily erases compatibility issues for off brand OS. I can't wait to delete system 32 for good. [+6] u/Status-Net2947: You guys are definitely the apes of hormuz [+6] u/p3pp3rjack: What, exactly, did karoline say about boots on the ground today? [+6] u/lysergalien: MSFT 1 year chart is tragic [+6] u/Conrad3k: It seems like this administration has managed to eliminate reality from the markets. [+6] u/ConstantSpace5809: Fake headline tonight or tomorrow morning? [+6] u/IJustWantaQuietLife1: Still bearish, have no reason to not be bearish still. Not worried about my puts [+6] u/Ill-Expression1737: microsoft and micron gettn killed [+6] u/GoogleKushforLunch: This beef jerky is disgusting [+6] u/Morocier: why market not down? [+6] u/Helios-Sol: Say it with me: FAKE AND GHEY [+6] u/Ill-Expression1737: when i buy GLD calls i lose money. cool [+6] u/AdSimple663: When is 🥭 market starting? because biden's market is bending me over and fucking me dry. [+6] u/GuwopGOAT: There is no such thing as strategy. Trade with your heart and never sell early. You don’t have more of an edge than some Wall Street quants. So you have to keep taking risks. Lambo or Dumpster behind Wendy’s. [+6] u/Upset-Motor-2602: SPY Death Cross next week after troops are deployed over the weekend.... [+6] u/sl3azebag: I'm just gonna take a couple bumps and forget about today [+6] u/Hwangoutpltr: She's a 9 but her neck is 16" [+6] u/SchwiftySchwifferson: I keep feeding this machine money, but nothing is coming out! [+6] u/shortitforever: Individually we are weak, like a single twig. But as a bundle we form a mighty call buyer. [+6] u/SomePolack: SPY 650p and USO 120c weeklies I’m scared [+6] u/DragonFruit-_-777: So ya’ll MU holders crying now? [+6] u/No_Lobster_1102: She's a 10 but she's 6'2 [+6] u/lalyt93: I think doj has a signal group [+5] u/Awkward_Ad_5102: I’m addicted to WSB. Reddit owes me $3m [+5] u/ResidentPack4103: Hiding comments is like ICE wearing masks...you just do it so we can't see how retardedd you are [+5] u/Own-Kaleidoscope-731: options in this market is not being regard, its full au tism [+5] u/Logical-Clerk-1571: if crude hits 100 again, another taco will be deployed to wsb island [+5] u/sl3azebag: do I just full port puts tmrw LOL [+5] u/Club-Loud: 😡 WHAT IF A TARIFF DROPS ON YOUR RIGHT NOW? 🧸 [+5] u/volckerwasright: If u arent at Shell filling every sealable container in ur house with gas rn u are gonna be a permanent member of the underclass [+5] u/Cav829: Today was like if you took your clothes off, jumped on the bed, spread your legs, and offered a bol free sex if they could get it up in the next 5 minutes, and they somehow managed to get a groin cramp, trip over their pants, and knock themselves out. [+5] u/AP_Gaming_9: I can’t afford to win anymore [+5] u/Own-Kaleidoscope-731: imagine liking kids so much u start a war over it, really a good paren.. oh wait [+5] u/Pale-Silver-8178: Please be regarded with honor and pride dont buy 0DTE calls when ceasefire talks are being rejected by IRAN bro burned 10k. [+5] u/Vegetable_Push6542: There are 2 outcomes for tomorrow. Either we open red and pump to green, or we open green and pump to a greener green. [+5] u/LongCucumber3710: Today is the day I got leveraged to the tiddies. I’m now rooting for world peace ✌️ [+5] u/Life-Has-Been-Peachy: Got $47 4/17 puts. We printing or nah [+5] u/JMWTurnerAppreciator: Can someone even explain the logic of taking Kharg? Yes, I know a lot of oil goes through there, that still doesn't open the strait which is the main factor at this point. The U.S. will have to control like over 50 miles of coastline, and Iran can still launch attacks from further inland. I understand we have missile defense systems, but that's really complicated by stuff like drones and high speed missiles. [+5] u/Shot-Map-8154: You dont send the Marines to end a War. You send them to start a fight. [+5] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: Imagine the legal can of dogshit this dipshit jury just opened up. Hell I’ll sue google and say I’m addicted to the tube. I’ll sue pornhub and say im addicted to porn I’ll sue berz because I’m addicted to losing money I’ll sue the street because I’m addicted to shitting on it I’ll sue myself for being a 🏳️‍🌈🌮 [+5] u/AllianceOrTheHorde: We should just keep the "sell" button permanently off. That'd surely fix all the problems [+5] u/Retaining-Wall: Flibbidy bibbidy I got no liquidity. [+5] u/Vort3x7689: Guys there will be boots on the ground sadly. Iran won’t negotiate a good deal with the amount of leverage that they have currently and with the strait. The only way no boots on the ground happens is if 🥭 agrees to horrible terms. I mean it may happen knowing him but I doubt it [+5] u/Hwangoutpltr: Leaf blower boys out in force today. Spring is almost here [+5] u/ih8myylife: im ready for a +2% gap up [+5] u/PROMlSED: Is it still considered theta gang if I sell premium for about 25-40% of my port at a time? I feel more aligned with regards here [+5] u/swflcape: I have a slightly chafed feeling that I cannot change my position as a singular cell in the taint of the global body. [+5] u/rollinhating: If Iran and US manages to even get close to make a deal, Israel will probobly do a false flag operation on US.. They are masters at playing victims [+5] u/NunuTitobu: Is 2026 a replay of 2022, when the Mag 7 sucked balls? [+5] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: wife just gave me permission to have sex tonight, wooo hooo! [+5] u/neutralpoliticsbot: I am kinda digging the Micro Russell futures right now. **No PDT rules**: trade all day and night. **No Theta decay**: unlike options, you can hold and roll futures contracts forever at virtually no cost to you. Futures provide more exposure per $ spent, with options you are overpaying for premium all the time. **Tax benefits:** Futures (Section 1256): 60% long-term / 40% short-term, Options are 100% short term. **No IV risk:** VIX volatility can't fuck you with futures. **No crazy margin:** requirements like on /ES (E-Minis) which is **$26,000** per contract. On Micro Russell 2000 (/M2K) it's only **$1,100** and still provides a nice 10.7x leverage. Huge drawdowns are not scary and won't wipe you even without stop loss. Feels like futures are better in every way??? At least for that dopamine hit after hours. [+5] u/Time-Cardiologist906: All that bulls talk this morning for closing with a little green [+5] u/Low_Plastic363: No, but the window for it to be possible is opening now that troops are nearly in place. [+5] u/Normal_Tap3021: Oh dear. It means you’re retarded. My condolences to your parents [+18] u/twostroke1: crazy to think how many wars in history have been fought for big oil. Kind of wish I was part of the alternative parallel universe where the world goes to war for big tobacco. I’d die on a battlefield for Marlboro. [+18] u/unikuenobody: !banbet spy -2.1% 2d [+18] u/SteakGoblin: we have the clearest objectives, very clear. some say the clearest [+17] u/Brodieischeese: I love how bad news like Iran shooting down an American f18 or just straight up saying that no peace talks were being made and trump was lying make the market move sideways But when mango tells an obvious lie the market rips. Shit is manipulated beyond comprehension or bulls are straight up tards [+15] u/Recent_Register_2952: Fuck I'm gonna have to steal a lot of copper wires from my public lights to cover this margin call [+15] u/NightWalkThrowAway: I trade for 12 hours straight, you trade for 12 hours gay, we’re not the same. [+15] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: There are no talks but the talks are going very well. There’s no one in the leadership to speak to but we’re speaking to the perfect people. The war is over and there’s nothing else to eliminate as everything has totally been eliminated but we’re going to need billions more to eliminate things. There’s no need for regime change as the regime has already been changed but we don’t know who is in the current regime as the regime has been eliminated entirely and if there is anyone left we would love to work with them and give them a chance and we’re going to kill them all before we do that. [+15] u/Ahthongkorkor: 8 red Thursdays in a row, surely not a 9th?! [+15] u/ProudPeak3570: this war has done nothing but make Iran realize they are holding some cards. Passage through hormuz will probably cost a fee now raising prices permanently gj mango [+14] u/Complex-Video-2202: Now i will explain Fear and Greed Index. I bought greedy MSFT and MU. Now I have fear I have to work behind wendys [+14] u/Options_tarded: The market is only green because of tech. This isn’t a macro trend. This is a hiccup. We drill tomorrow and Friday [+14] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: I’m thinking 80% chance there’s a ground invasion of Iran over the weekend [+14] u/abroadbroadband: Why do I want to work here? McDonald's has been my lifelong passion, _that's_ why I want to work here Sorry, I'm getting a little emotional just talking about it [+13] u/AggieDem: Hot take, queso blanco > guac. [+13] u/WordsHappenedHere: The year is 2052. Donald Trump is long dead. Historians describe this era when he was alive as “really fucked up” [+13] u/eggmaker: Tomorrow will be red for the sole reason that everyone knows Friday will be the sell off [+12] u/New-Length5593: This deal is so big that they don’t even know it happened [+12] u/-Redditeer-: Microsoft end the day green challenge (impossible) [+12] u/14BrewMan: Trading this month has taken 10 years off my life. [+12] u/Electrical_Maize3587: My goal was to purchase a house with money I could make on options, but instead overtime I blew an amount that could’ve gone towards a downpayment. How the turn tables [+12] u/FuckleUp: I force maneured my pants 😬 [+11] u/claytondpark: MSFT -21% already ytd and q1 hasn't even ended yet ☠️ [+11] u/Academic_Lock_1699: All quiet on the Hummus Front [+11] u/Academic_Lock_1699: Crime pays off, SMCI recovering already [+11] u/dayne_stevenson: I upvote my own comments btw [+10] u/dayne_stevenson: BREAKING ‼️📈📉: Will Smith slaps Chris Rock at Academy Awards [+9] u/svpa3991: Market flat for 3 days as markets don’t know how to price in an enemy that can out taco the taco [+9] u/quyensanity: https://preview.redd.it/3nrwqwt2k9rg1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9e148514a2b552a038585885eb3d6d5d871a9c7d Made $5400 scalping puts today. Gonna do the same tomorrow. [+9] u/ComfortablePiglet842: Believe it or not you dont always have to look at spy and just spam calls alll day or puts all day. You can go with the flow. You have to be good about not lieing to yourself about whats gonna happen next. [+9] u/AirportMaterial5917: I resent my work for making me so busy I can’t day trade [+9] u/Undercover_NSA-Agent: You were right about one thing, mr president. The negotiations were short. [+9] u/Independent-Tree-985: > Stock futures are little changed as traders monitor U.S.-Iran war developments > Iran has no intention to hold talks with U.S; foreign minister says Trump proposal to end war being reviewed Soooooo am I the retard or? [+9] u/ihopethisworksfornow: >”Maybe the moderate politicians will convince the diehard religious zealots who have all the guns, who’s leader was just murdered, to accept a peace deal” The actual bull thesis rn [+9] u/SeaweedLeft9746: Future headline: hundreds of Marines killed in "excursion" [+8] u/420akaGami69: Aww jeez idk. I’ll wait for orange man to throw a tantrum on truth social and go from there [+8] u/leave_youself_behind: The dau is not @ fifty thaaau🐶🐶🐶 [+8] u/Boheed: the market is in the Epstein files [+8] u/Fantastic_Pirate3948: We will never see a circuit breaker, they refuse to let this bitch fall [+8] u/justlosinmoney: If y’all think this war ends if we get kharg island I got Nigerian prince that needs funding [+8] u/kanduking: you believe they're not sending in ground troops lolllllllllll [+8] u/good-times-: No one knows what to do [+8] u/Oldschoolhype2: Anxiety before he does something even dumber. [+7] u/abroadbroadband: TSLA's P/E ratio is only 358? Now that's what I call a 🅱️argain [+7] u/therev012: considering the general consensus is saying blood red tomorrow and Friday imma load up on calls [+7] u/Glock7enteen: why is pee always yellow in cartoons when it’s a reddish brown color irl [+7] u/jyohnyb: I dont do this for the money. I do this for the freedom. The freedom of knowing ill never be able to retire because of options [+7] u/Earthkilled: Market hours are for pussies [+7] u/astromouse2024: Looks like my small investment into the vintage guitar market is paying off. MMs can’t find me there [+7] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: What if the Marines were task to open a Mcdonald restaurant on Kharg Island? Guaranteed Halal beef and chicken burgers or you get refunded in Oil. [+7] u/ihopethisworksfornow: Was having a good day and then my boss just *enraged* me with some egregious bullshit [+7] u/cow_grass: Bulls love getting rug'd by 🥭 [+7] u/Striking_Box_6116: Another wonderful day of banging this guys beautiful wife [+6] u/Paul_Robert_: Thinking of buying a house. My realtor got me a great deal on this 4000 sq.inch place! [+6] u/Great-Television1775: Al jazeera saying that Iran say no, Reuters that they want to talk, what Survey says! Nikkei +5% day, someday :D [+6] u/GeoBro3649: 4.00 gasoline in Texas. [+6] u/TheDizzyTablespoon: Just received my closing estimate and interest. I am now about to pay 200 more per month. Now also higher gas prices and all this asshole could do was replacing Khamenei with Gay Khamenei. [+6] u/BullTrucker9: Red at night bulls delight [+6] u/Latter_Smoke_3767: I liquidated 90% of my portfolio. The Iran situation is a ticking bomb and market unfortunately will continue to drill. Buying back once it quiets down a bit [+6] u/version-two: Did somebody forget to tell LNG about that huge fuckin, Kuwait-y nat gas plant that’s going to be offline for half a decade? Wtf [+6] u/ThrowRA-KB: Bul is fuk, how do you “win” the same 6 wars and then still manage to lose them everytime Absolute regards [+6] u/Candid-Association-5: Can you tell me few stocks that are going to do 200-400% gains this year? Thank you! [+6] u/SeaweedLeft9746: If you used Facebook, Instagram or YouTube in the past, you can now sue them for millions and win [+6] u/Paul_Robert_: I bought so much dip, that my fridge is full 💀 [+6] u/PlasticComplexReddit: Im immune to it at this point -0.5% feels like green to me. [+6] u/DoubleVisual5996: You just NOW noticed?? [+6] u/elpresidentedeljunta: You get access to the mod´s Grindr profiles [+6] u/My_Bad_Habitss: Some say the closest they’ve ever seen [+6] u/AttitudeFresh7985: Unfortunately tonight mango is only pumping his daughter. [+5] u/betaforever: Buy the bagnificent seven [+5] u/Outrageous_Method432: Everybody bearish on Microsoft, ALL IN TOMORROW! 100k on shares. [+5] u/Yogurt_Up_My_Nose: my company will pay $400/m towards my car. wah should i get. i'm not going to use it for work though, i'm going to use my old beater. [+5] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Cmon breakers what does it take to turn you on? [+5] u/Guilty-Deer-2147: What are the odds 🥭 is going to switch it up and launch the ground operation tomorrow or Friday instead of the weekend? I could definitely see it happening. [+5] u/eirinite: While I've learned to never be permabear, RIP SPY, VIX TO THE MOON [+5] u/photosynthescythe: Is it gay to get on all fours while your girl eats your ass and maybe do a little arch and grip the sheets in your hands and moan a lil and maybe call her daddy or sum? [+5] u/andytobbles: The whole mag 7 is spending 600B in capex is finally manifesting in semiconductors. AMD is going fucking nuts [+5] u/TestingLifeThrow1z: Sometimes I wonder how I decided I can only buy 1 stock and I went into MSFT. [+5] u/Comprehensive-Eye547: April goog 250p print if boots on the ground [+5] u/OkBeginning9576: I mute all top %1 commenters Just a lil thing I like to do to keep my space clean Don’t @ me [+5] u/DrummerCompetitive20: Wen mag7 recession over? [+5] u/Garbage-Disposal-938: Using my new "maximum lethality" options trading program, I made a million dollars today. But I need another $200 billion to break even. [+5] u/TechnologyEven6926: I’ve been very high for 3 days. And I’m not really getting sober But if I was sober trading these markets, I would have jumped off a bridge [+5] u/Oneok-Field: BREAKING: Trump set calendar reminder to tweet tomorrow morning how the war is "just about done" right before open [+5] u/Antique_Cabinet8416: where is the nightly scam headline and candles to ruin my port? [+5] u/Boheed: the market touched me in a private place [+5] u/spudbro00: SpaceX going to IPO with a bigger market cap than Microsoft at this point [+5] u/TripleChen_LLC: no fuking wonder i lost so much on slippage, fuking TOS and Schwab is so fuking down today, [+5] u/carrollart: Schwab down , Pinterest down [+5] u/LostandConfused2024: My mortgage loan officer for my refinance about to look at all of my trades like this guy is a fucking degenerate, but also be like good for him [+5] u/rnbwshrm: As every day seems like market months, I've got approx 3 more years to live. [+5] u/epyonxero: Iran said: We know you want to take Kharg, we know theres a ME country helping you, if you do it we will bomb that ME countries infrastructure [+5] u/Fragrant_Invite5947: I bought corn at the grovery store, how do I put it into my port and turn it into money? [+5] u/potato111a: Warren and Bank needs to stfu about NVDA's export license.. i have calls 😡 [+5] u/Diamondhands4dagainz: ARM up 17% INTC up 7% and photonics companies all ripping. Yeah greed is still there [+5] u/After-Violinist-7485: leap calls on MOS. thank me later ✌️ [+5] u/KidOyom: One China man down. Another steps up. Business per usual. [+5] u/asetniop: Zed's dead, baby. Zed's dead. [+26] u/nyse25: she sells pussy down by the seashore [+23] u/LasyKuuga: >Powell also said he will not leave his Board of Governors position until the Department of Justice investigation of him has concluded. >Prosecutor told judge no evidence existed to criminally pursue Powell over costly Fed renovations How bad did they want my boy gone lmao [+19] u/Walking72: Wapo: Justice Department admits to having no evidence of misconduct by Fed Chair Jerome Powell [+19] u/Roxorek: Won the war 20 times already, but Iran still controls the strait. Replaced supreme leader with more radical son. Made the whole world hate us for starting dumb war that increased prices for billions of people worldwide. Well fkin done 🤡🤡🤡🤡 [+19] u/ALittleWorseEveryday: I got an official Reddit warning for saying “die SPY” in the daily chat. They told me threatening violence towards people groups places or animals is not tolerated. I have prepared this as paragraph as my apology. I state my regret. I hope you all can forgive me someday [+16] u/ShopWhileHungry: SPY is basically a zombie right now, infected with the Orange virus, refusing to die, no soul, wandering [+16] u/ConsiderationKey1658: everything you just wrote sounds depressing [+15] u/blemdemman: this mf is prez til 2029 ffs [+15] u/Historical_Bother274: Cant wait for the weekend so I can get some sleep since I cant refresh futes/wsb/al jazeera every minute [+14] u/Kabrosif: In the Star Trek Universe WW3 took place in 2026-2053 and 2054-2079 was the Post Atomic Horror. Buying puts tomorrow with this information. [+14] u/Buddha988: My 4 year old daughter says grok doesn't lie. We're in the endgames [+14] u/apurimac777: All this just to distract from being a pedo.... [+14] u/cashflow_: Can’t chat remy getting nebulizar https://preview.redd.it/m9jvuencz9rg1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=983a6059e6ceee65f97e26e040dea766271f4835 [+13] u/financiallythriving: *What are your moves tomorrow* *proceeds to shitpost* [+13] u/hv876: Mods are busy being para dropped into Kharg Island. Tomorrow is gonna be a free for all on this sub [+13] u/socrates4eva: The 82nd Airborne and the Marines will be on the ground in Iran this weekend. Do what you want with this information [+13] u/moosewithamuffin: Finally went full puts. Bottom is in boys [+13] u/Eastern_Ad_3512: https://preview.redd.it/paq6z7e2t9rg1.jpeg?width=1560&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=73b34256907b0ae6683a1530637de881609f093b [+13] u/Frosty_Promise8050: Honestly, you know what will stop this war? A market correction. [+12] u/shakazuluwithanoodle: when bsset sleeps oil goes up. when bsset wakes oil goes down. [+12] u/Questing4Greatsword: I need to turn 10k into 20k next week or I’ll be bored [+11] u/J_da_CPA: Iran diss track Bros understood the assignment [+11] u/wyudtix: Once again we won the war that apparently doesn’t exist and also you're getting drafted [+11] u/necarpenter417: Mods, you shitheads. I still want to know why I got banned. [+11] u/greyenlightenment: of course, dump in AH as to be expected. without bullshit deals, the market will keep falling [+11] u/G0RD0N_CLARK: If they didn't listen to you the first two times, why would they start now? [+10] u/puffinnbluffin: Crazy that I could’ve picked literally any other stock with my eyes closed and it wouldn’t have performed worse than msft [+10] u/Acceptable_Dirt69: My penor is so small, it should be studied [+10] u/2020isgreat: MSFT approaching April lows is the funniest shit [+10] u/Hellmale: My goal is to make$500 to $5k in next few weeks 😝 SMCI puts [+10] u/WrexyWrex: These guys didn't fight to build this country which is why they are carelessly destroying it without a second thought [+10] u/Exciting_Day4155: When is the parade for winning the war? [+10] u/BionicCyanFirefly: Iran literally winning the propaganda war: https://m.youtube.com/shorts/QYX2fcZdw0A Sadly it kind of slaps [+9] u/WocketWaccoon: I got banned from the SOFI sub for saying Anthony “fat cuck“ Noto [+9] u/apurimac777: Imagine the Ayatollah tweeting like 🥭 does. They could probably kill their entire national debt with one degen futures play before the Ayatollah tweets WAR IS OVER HORMUZ IS OPEN just to sike out later [+9] u/BFox1982: Remember the Ghost of Kyiv? 🤣 [+9] u/hiphopanonomos: My buddy was telling me war is bullish because when we invaded Iraq the stock market went up. But that was right after the dot Com bubble burst and 9/11, literally anything would have rallied [+9] u/Brief_Carpenter_7457: Is 🥭 actually speaking soon? [+9] u/TheoryInttro: The futes do no seem to be happy. [+9] u/Reasonable_Cow3667: Bullish on margin calls [+9] u/RjBloxks: MU going to 300 EOM to make my puts sing [+9] u/peterpeer9: Do you think Trump wakes up every morning and thinks, "what's the most fucked up thing that I could do today?" [+8] u/Background-Nothing71: I’m on the subway wondering who smells like shit, and I’m realizing it’s me. [+8] u/TinyDelegation: in the past 3 days ive turned $39 into $279. not much but its something [+8] u/wattap: Mango speaking in 20 minutes [+8] u/apurimac777: I pretty much come here for retards doing live commentary on current events so I don't have to watch or read this shit [+8] u/31andnotdone: hello darkness my old friend [+8] u/Specialist_Fig9458: Reddit banned me for three days because I said some less than kind things about our ghey friend Scott Bessent [+8] u/discomobulated: Only bottom i am hitting is you [+7] u/_ThisDickAintFree_: doubling down on these MSFT $380c. [+7] u/yyn1999: Fake news left and right wtf is this shit [+7] u/FeverTreeCloud: Next billion dollar idea for a startup: Microsoft ➡️ Super Micro ➡️ Ultra Super Micro 💡💡💡💡💡 [+7] u/RFKsBrainwormm: Bruh I didn’t know Iran had such big sack, they are dabbing all over us haha [+7] u/bluen: Now everything is fucked [+7] u/Abject_Wish_3787: Index down 7% , Last green was October. “We’re going to win so much, you’re going to be so sick and tired of winning. You’re going to say, ‘Please, please, it’s too much winning. We can’t take it anymore, Mr. President, it’s too much.’ And I’m going to say, ‘No it isn’t. We have to keep winning, we have to win more.’” I hate the word winning FFS [+7] u/posicrit868: >Tehran offered its own terms to end the fighting that include a demand for reparations. Israel, concerned that the war might end before it can dismantle Iran's weapons programs, plans to ramp up its attacks. >I think Netanyahu will be ready to end the war when I am -🥭 E tu Brutus? [+7] u/ConsiderationKey1658: #8==🩸 ✂️==D 📉📉📉(tomorrow) [+7] u/Exciting_Day4155: We must've accidentally negotiated with Iraq, we'll get it down the next try! [+7] u/ConsiderationKey1658: If you bought MSFT shares two years ago you’d be -12% lol [+7] u/Gom_KBull: DAY 25 OF THE QUICK LITTLE EXCURSION [+7] u/LasyKuuga: Some of yall werent built for options and we should learn to accept that [+7] u/spez_eats_nazi_ass: Coin operated fuck bot. Older busted eastern european model from late 80s [+6] u/Outrageous_Lime3759: Played padel for the first time today. Sport is as fake and ghey as bers. Calls. [+6] u/0DTEKing: I am solely responsible for MSFT going down every day, it’s since the day I bought MSFT calls, never recovered. Beg me to sell my calls at loss I will consider your misery [+6] u/apurimac777: My move: Setting up a tanker run Mad Max Fury Road style from Iran to India [+6] u/Walking72: Lawmakers introduce bill to prohibit members of congress, president from prediction market trading [+6] u/GenesGeniesJeans: Well shit I bought options today right before close today trying to front-run Friday thinking here it was Thursday. It is Wednesday my dudes. [+6] u/Chemical-Coconut-203: If NVO are such geniuses, why do fat people still exist? Puts on NVO. Calls on putting on weight. [+6] u/Madsen13140: Send troops 2-3 years Iran and forget [+6] u/Comfortable-Sky7801: If MU gets to 350-360 Im yoloing back in, its just free money at that point [+6] u/boofeur1362: I got puts at 687 when everyone was v bullish last month. Imma get calls now and see how this plays out cause everyone’s a genius bear [+6] u/Distinct_Car7737: Who wants sucky sucky 5 dollah ? [+6] u/stupidber: "do u have protection" i feel around for my nightstand. i open the drawer and pull a wrapper out. tearing it open with my teeth i send taco bell sauce everywhere. oh no. wrong drawer. that was my sauce drawer. "im gonna tell my friends bout ur sauce drawer." the night is ruined [+6] u/dataCollector42069: I regret my MU $380 call for April 17th now [+6] u/EmergencyInternal837: Im betting on a ground invasion [+6] u/CFBReform: Now this shit wants to go down 🤦🏻‍♂️ [+6] u/Hi_I_am_gosu: He does like to drop newds on Wednesday [+6] u/ratfukabich: If by terminator you mean slovenian piss whore then yes [+6] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: They just print more money until it’s worthless [+5] u/Deep-Ad-8525: Green, red, green… Now you know what tomorrow will look like. [+5] u/Scar1203: Just the TikTok generation, the rest of us are too old for the draft. Have fun. [+5] u/Oxidrox: Europoor here. Bought Tesla 392 calls, still holding. Yup, I did that. [+5] u/kemar7856: Omg how is Microsoft still drilling [+5] u/Treverer: I have family in Iraq and shit is getting crazy there. Airplanes of all kinds and nations circling around in the sky, AA missiles launching, Iranian drones being intercepted, PMF and other Iranian militias going full Rambo. Fuck, judging from the videos it looks like battlefield and I can’t believe some 🌈🐻 are aching for full-out war. This is about real lifes, not your next shot at getting at the top with a loss porn screenshot you mongoloids [+5] u/Historical_Bother274: Sir you are in a casino [+5] u/hudson701: I wonder what this weekend's market manipulation tweet will be? After Friday close, obvs [+5] u/DFW_BjornFree: Buying more april 17th puts if SPY touches 660 this is shit is so free [+5] u/Maleficent_Cap_5123: Microsoft calls sooon? I wanna bet all my money and get rich baby [+5] u/bemeandnotyou: today was rough, no butter, no kisses just stright rammed [+5] u/noahmfs: 🥭 manipulating the oil futures but when we go to the pump and there is no gas what is going to happen? But hey is 3.45 a gallon over here [+5] u/anonymousandydick: Going to call Donny 6AM and see what he decides to tweet out before he does and I'll decide then. Follow and I'll post my moves. [+5] u/NewAccount428412: MU headline shock from turboquant is overblown. Turboquant is a research project not a product. Tested on 8 billion parameter models (current models are estimated around 200 billion parameters). Even if it comes to fruition, this is a Jevons Paradox situation. When GPUs got more efficent, AI companies didnt buy less...the models just grew in size. [+5] u/ShopWhileHungry: If it's brown, lay down. If it's black, fight back. If it's white, goodnight. If it's market bers......??? [+5] u/DriftWoodBarrel: Glad I didn't fomo into gold. When the war is actually over though. That thing is going to rip. [+5] u/dabblesest: Hmmmmm everyone here is predicting unmitigated disaster tomorrow and to be honest you guys SHOULD be right, but you never quite are. [+5] u/TheDiplomat82: To all you people trying to make a few pennies on the side at your options plays. Just realized that some tween YouTuber is making more money than you'll see in a lifetime from one video about filling up their Mansion pool with Jello. Meanwhile us normies can fight over scraps. End Motivational PSA [+5] u/Fancy_Cattle_5914: Back here to say FUCK YOU MICRON [+5] u/highlanderquestion90: Headline titled "The Dow Jones closes 0.65% Higher" isn't really the flex they think it is [+5] u/Appropriate_Ice_7507: Green Day and all my are red: msft mu sndk uso [+5] u/stuffofftheroof: Are my Friday spy calls kaputs? [+5] u/SayTheLineBart: For me, it's the McChicken. The best fast food sandwich. I even ask for extra McChicken sauce packets and the staff is so friendly and more than willing to oblige. One time I asked for McChicken sauce packets and they gave me three. I said, "Wow, three for free!" and the nice friendly McDonald's worker laughed and said, "I'm going to call you 3-for-free!". Now the staff greets me with "hey it's 3-for-free!" and ALWAYS give me three packets. It's such a fun and cool atmosphere at my local McDonald's restaurant, I go there at least 3 times a week for lunch and a large iced coffee with milk instead of cream, 1-2 times for breakfast on the weekend, and maybe once for dinner when I'm in a rush but want a great meal that is affordable, fast, and can match my daily nutritional needs. I even dip my fries in McChicken sauce, it's delicious! What a great restaurant. [+5] u/Extension-Change-441: will my friday 655 puts print [+5] u/vwboyaf1: The only thing he's pumping these days is fluid out of his cankles. [+24] u/Commercial-District1: I like how literal war is planned around market hours [+23] u/imunfair: > Iranian Foreign Minister Abbas Araghchi has said in a televised interview on Iran’s state TV news channel that for “several days” the US has "begun sending various messages through different intermediaries”. > > But he says that the fact these messages were “conveyed via friendly countries”, and that Iran was responding by stating their “positions and issuing warnings”, is “neither dialogue nor negotiation, nor anything of the sort”. > > Araghchi also says that Iran’s policy for now is to continue “defending”, and they have “no intention of negotiating for now”. > > He adds that “this is Israel’s war and people of the region and people of the US are paying the price for it”. TLDR: ["You're locked in here with me"](https://i.imgur.com/pku168o.gif) [+22] u/Ordinary_News_6455: I would like to try some insider trading, please. [+19] u/No-Illustrator-7537: today was the best time to get puts [+17] u/the_mind_goblin1: Iran is doing maximum possible damage by dragging this war out. There is no way they will agree to a ceasefire [+16] u/No_Cod972: Does the general public truly understand how these wars are funded? You, your parents, and your children, are still paying for Iraq/Afghanistan right now! It's a big part of why your Big Mac meal is now $11.39!!!! Wake up sheeple! [+16] u/MakeOSUGreatAgain63: I clicked the link… watched him ramble a made up story about him taking to a waitress about taxes on tips for 2 min. Closed the video This shit not ending anytime soon [+16] u/trumpdiego: ##Just to recap... ##We won, but so did they. They're not open to direct talks, but they're reviewing our proposal. They want everything and will give up nothing. We are moving troops into place, they are hardening their lines. Everything is fine and normal. [+14] u/Opposite-Lobster2470: This country will never progress until term limits become a thing in Congress. So tired of seeing the same old wrinkly faces doing nothing because they have zero incentive to do anything but maintain power [+13] u/No_Current3675: He's just such a hopeless retard. [+13] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Market pumping after this regard just said he doesn’t care how low it goes [+12] u/spellbadgrammargood: The older I get the more I realize that people are fucking stupid. [+11] u/MakeOSUGreatAgain63: Why would Iran stop? They’re making more money and aura now than they ever have before. I would never stop if it was me [+11] u/MakeOSUGreatAgain63: [ Removed by Reddit ] [+11] u/Who_is_Your_Zaddy: You must be a special kind of person to be able to bankrupt a casino where you in charge of the rules. [+11] u/darkspherei: this moron is gonna get kids killed [+10] u/givemethestars000: "We negotiate with bombs" Thats like saying I have talks with my wife with knives [+10] u/TyroneSwoopes: What’s king moron saying? I can’t watch dude ramble without getting a headache [+9] u/Bichael-Murry: # WE ARE SOOOO FUCKING BACK *^(just preparing my lines for when war is over)* [+9] u/OkRecommendation1040: I bought 20k in msft calls today am I regard [+9] u/UsernameTaken_123: Never thought it would be fucking Rocket Lab carrying my portfolio through these tough times [+9] u/xironically23: Sometimes I feel bad losing 100 maybe 200 on a trade because of blatant market manipulation, then I see people losing my annual salary in 1 day and that makes me feel better [+8] u/damnthatbooty: What’s retard saying anyone know [+8] u/CPA-hole: What the fuck are we even doing? [+8] u/Waste-Head7963: BUY BUY BUY!!! I DIDN’T HEAR NO BELL!!! 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 [+8] u/JackORoses: Historic bull market is destroyed. 🥭: "I did that" [+8] u/ajibtunes: Bull market was transitory. Recession is your new god. Spy will drop another %20 by the eoy. Screenshot this. [+8] u/dash_trash4255: My imaginary girlfriend gave me a gift [+8] u/happy_accountant123: When I buy puts I also lose money. [+8] u/fish_: my dick doesnt even fit anymore smfh [+7] u/Curious_scientist420: Come on, tweet something stupid [+7] u/DorianSoundscapes: Market will dip tomorrow but not enough to save my puts. Theta fucked to death this week. It will probably finally crash just when I run out of money. Life of a retard. 🤷🏻 [+7] u/Ok-Run-8643: What would happen if 🥭 can't lie for a day? [+7] u/Tay_Tay86: RED AT NIGHT. BULLS LIVE IN FRIGHT. PEEKABOO. WE COMIN' FOR YOU [+7] u/ajibtunes: At least 40% of Russia‘s oil export capacity is at a halt following Ukrainian drone attacks, according to Reuters calculations. The shutdown is the most severe oil supply disruption in the modern history of Russia. [+7] u/Sharp-Direction-6894: This shit is like rice and bananas. You'll see what I mean. [+7] u/BrilliantCare8875: They gave him an extra capacity catheter tonight [+7] u/weewoowewoooo: Ah yes SPY pumping again for no fucking reason lmfao [+7] u/Standard-Top-5942: Does anyone know what the "present" Iran gave us? The one Trump mentioned. Like aren't there laws that we have to know? This is our country lol [+7] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Spacex and openai ipo soon bers fucked and don’t even know it lmao [+7] u/Tillfatfire: Pump in AH to tease bulls 😂😂😂 [+7] u/YouDontKnowDino: Oil and spy going up lmao [+7] u/fish_: when a stock gets its own "community" its time to move on [+6] u/RoadToRichesss: This isn’t a marvel movie, they don’t just teleport there instantly [+6] u/emergencyexit: Found Pete Hegseth's reddit account [+6] u/TraipseTraveller: Thanks for the green day tomorrow [+6] u/headvintner: Donald gets the "America First Award" 🫪 [+6] u/MeYouThemEveryone: Respected like never before … yeah that’s technically true [+6] u/LouieM13: Irrational ass pumping right now [+6] u/ajibtunes: I can’t take anymore of this war BS anymore 😭🤬 [+6] u/No_Cod972: RIP Joe Rogan's appeal [+6] u/modder9: The actual peace announcement will not be via tweet. It will be via vague live event broadcast. He is a drama queen and wants the camera spotlight. There is no camera moment for a tweet. [+6] u/ziggyho: I sent my employer my 15 point plan. First three points I no show, i no show, I no show [+6] u/Weak_Emu3659: # 17-year-old girl is arrested for being a pimp in Montreal [+6] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: this whole speech is a meme [+6] u/Molten-Helldiver: Whatever Donnie is smoking for his statements to be what they are, pass some here, this guy should do standup instead [+5] u/Bichael-Murry: shit's gonna dump so hard on friday during 'power hour' , fucking lol [+5] u/PulIthEld: What would the world reaction be if Trump nuked Tehran? [+5] u/DeezSpicyNuts: Apparently, according to word on the street, the girls with BBLs have that “stank twerk wind” which has got to just be peak humanity [+5] u/Happy-Champion1661: looking at a cool polymarket user with 250k+ gain in a year, a lot of SUS bets. Current positions: no ceasefire by March 31, no boots on the ground by April 30, no Iranian regime fall by March 31. Bruh... oh god, not another month of kangoroo market ffs [+5] u/Bcider: So what was the present? [+5] u/neo-futurism: Is he Brain Dead? What is he even talking about. Tivo, Chuck Schumar, Save America. All word salad. [+5] u/noaholic: This mfer talks everyday? [+5] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: THANKS A LOT LINCOLN [+5] u/jayxmor: I’m at an ecom convention in Vegas and absolutely blown away at the amount of AI I’m seeing LMAO it’s all about a fucking i [+5] u/Competitive-Elk9326: And there’s the pump, almost had us again bers gn [+5] u/mikey_rambo: Msft has had enough. It’s ready to ascend [+5] u/mikemccrea: Software out, obscure chip companies are the new megacorps [+5] u/MeYouThemEveryone: You got the skills to be a mod [+5] u/OptionGamble: Look away for 30 minutes and futures turned green [+5] u/Bilbo_Butthole: Imagine not buying rn. WSB bers always short the bottom, never forget [+5] u/Waste-Head7963: PUTIN SIGNS ORDER LIMITING GOLD BULLION EXPORTS. [+5] u/TomatoSpecialist6879: Despite never being asked, many bols have been volunteered against their will to die for Israel [+5] u/Wildskullz: love me, love me, say that you love me mf [+5] u/BunsMcCheeks: Chat, everything is so beyond cooked. Like the smoke alarms are blaring. [+5] u/WingWorried6176: WHY SPY PUMPING BER? [+5] u/Williamnguyen62838: YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR HAIRS AND YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES [+15] u/whitehypeman: Boots on the ground? How about pants on the ground? Calls on clothing [+14] u/Nanas_700k: I just got my 3rd email today from a vendor of my wholesale business saying rates are up on trucking, plastics, etc. They claim they are doing everything they can, but unfortunately have to raise prices. All you permabools who think this is over when the ceasefire is declared are going to be mega bagholders. I’m sure we will moon like crazy for a day or two… but I’ll be fading that rally bigly. [+13] u/skymagic: plot twist: 🥭 has been negotiating with mia khalifa to be the next ayatollah [+13] u/siouxu: WSJ: 🥭 tells advisors he wants to end the war in the coming weeks. We did it! TACO will claim victory. [+12] u/B2BContinuum: Driving naked from the waist down is underrated [+12] u/OrangeSlicer: Guys I think MSFT is shutting down. [+11] u/bridge4captain: Stop watching futures and watch your pupils dilate and undilate in the mirror as you flick the bathroom light on and off instead. [+11] u/Icy-Motor-8519: White House official: Plan to raise global tariff to 15% is ‘in process’ What a time to be alive [+11] u/Poor_Life-choices: Had to take my kid to soccer practice.  Did we win the war again? [+11] u/somewhere_cool: Bloomberg: Trump administration officials are examining scenarios where oil could spike to $200 a barrel and assessing the economic impact, people familiar with the matter say. [+10] u/Maleficent-Couple-76: Limit down after the weekend when everyone realizes finally the peace talks are bullshit and 🥭just pandering during the week to appease the markets [+10] u/Kickboy21: Ever since i bought MSFT, i not only lost money but everything in my life has also been falling apart [+10] u/gamayogi: Feels like we're due for a red day tomorrow. Unless there's another bullshit peace talks tweet tonight. [+9] u/Shoganai_Hito: $0.02 dividend check I received in the mail today. Big pimpin’ https://preview.redd.it/njyn6vkenarg1.jpeg?width=2367&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=23f6186d4d7937275bd3ae1bf21687a46b4fdd23 [+9] u/ImthatRootuser: The company I work for is switching to Claude from Co-Pilot. MSFT 300 incoming 📉 [+9] u/_LakeCity_: What the conflict is really boiling down to is whether Iran or Iran-linked affiliates decide to just blow up their neighbors’ oil fields & ports. That is really what this whole thing is coming down to. The U.S. can turn Kharg Island into a parking lot with B-35s in one leisurely overnight set of runs. And 90% of their oil first runs through that little strip of land. So it’s not about “boots on the ground” really at all. That’s just a headline that this page cares about for the major snaps in trading. The big question is whether Iran decides “hey if we can’t export oil, nobody’s going to have oil.” Very worrying. [+9] u/WoodooRanger: In a real casino, they at least provide free drinks served by busty milfs. Here, they won’t even say Thank You. This casino sucks! [+9] u/DENIMSHORTS_840SCORE: As soon as im wealthy enough to sell Theta I SWEAR I wont even smoke any, I'll just sell it [+8] u/GabbarInvestor: Supreme court? Dude your country is at war !! [+8] u/Slow-Information-847: How come all over places in youtube people are talking about how 82rd airborne unit is going to take over some island, but investors are so positive we are going to make some deals. 🥭 can't even make a deal for TSA [+8] u/MagJack: i like how if you ask chatGPT if you should do something and it says no its not necessary, and then you go, well Im thinking of doing it anyway it goes "Yeah, thats a GREAT idea, and actually let me optimize that for you" [+8] u/Czyzzle: I like my women the way I like my coffee. Big titties. [+7] u/elbalti77: All this celebrating, thought we were up %1 but we are flat lmao [+7] u/Bnick319: what’s big orange man saying? [+7] u/Nick_Gilberts_Bowtie: They ruined college sports [+7] u/Napster-mp3: Imagine how fucked up this world will be in 50 years. Lol [+7] u/Positive_Cause_794: who gives a f about college sports [+7] u/hey-coffee-eyes: Oh fuck there's like a million anxietrees [+6] u/punxphil27: This shit more sideways than my gf ling ling’s va j j [+6] u/boraboca: SaaS and Memory holders are regards [+6] u/Beneficial-Sign-569: Drill team six standing by waiting for 🥭 [+6] u/Subspace13: Dumbledore: After all this time? Snape: Always n--ga [+6] u/palmanul: 🌮 gonna be on his knees in front of Xi on May 14 Bullish [+6] u/BattleSensitive3467: If you have hemorrhoids the only cure is buying an aloe plant, blending it and shoving it up your ass X2 daily. Don't be regarded like me and band them. Worst pain you'll ever feel. My -50% holdings don't matter at this point. [+6] u/mugirawraw: The classic -.10% futes [+6] u/jakeisarake: Is this what erectile dysfunction is like [+6] u/Detonate-Ralph: VIX must be run by retards [+6] u/Pury101: Looks like bro is running out of bullshiting power , futes are'nt moving so far [+6] u/toost1cky: Flashed my Sam’s card and she got up and left? [+6] u/Ceyenne18: mango just waiting for market to close on Friday to issue some never before seen ultimatums ... ... which he will TACO next Monday before market opens. [+5] u/FloppyButtholeJelly: That’s a goddamn lie and you know it [+5] u/Few-Frosting-4213: Looks like you will have plenty of protein in the future. [+5] u/jfwelll: Never tought my quantum spac and high beta space stocks would be the one keeping me up from my safe long term investments [+5] u/PositiveToe2761: Bers counting checks, bols now at Wendy’s. All while cash gang is sitting in the weirdly placed hotel room chair in the corner drinking a juice box [+5] u/Bene_observari: What if the whole point of this is to make the rest of the world completely dependent on the US for oil? Use Iran to destroy all the oil production capability in the middle east and use the Ukraine to destroy Russia's oil production. If China or anyone else wants to produce anything, they need to make a deal with uncle Sam. The petrodollar remains in charge and now there is total leverage when China wants to take Taiwan or hoard critical minerals. Is this stupid? [+5] u/ZealousidealSector19: I miss google Shrek. [+5] u/winner_in_life: I am a liar and I certify this statement. [+5] u/No-Improvement3164: So I’m finally seeing the pattern. If the world doesn’t end over the weekend buy the dip Monday and bail. Rinse and repeat. 😂 [+5] u/Ok-Indication-3754: Oil up and the market up wow [+5] u/QuantrixQuintrix: So post office adding a fuel tax to everything, we couldn’t get through spy700, we sold off every tech earnings, Hormuz still closed, crypto is dead, ai replacing everyone, no one can afford anything…I dunno guys, I’m going to buy puts if we can get to anywhere near spy 670 [+5] u/Valkyrie_Skuld: Everything looks stuck [+5] u/aerospace_bear: Last time MSFT calls made me some monies. This time.... 382C for this Friday. [+5] u/QuarkTheFerengi: i actually feel dumber having listened to that [+5] u/Rare-ish_Birb: Seriously, will my video game playing set me up for a career in drone warfare [+5] u/Objective_Back_2581: Feel like regards gonna get cheesed by theta gang for the next few days. But ion know tho. [+5] u/Maximum-Magazine-333: Very excited for the spacex ipo, I heard they’re gonna help put data centers on mars! 😊 [+5] u/beachsandwichen: Those gamesuck subs have gotten sad [+5] u/TheGodDavidLoPan: Im going to jerk off thinking about your mom and theres nothing you can do about it. [+5] u/Best_Sherbert_9481: I just ate a delicious Cuban sandwich [+5] u/tommylol66: I feel like tomorrow will be bloody af [+5] u/d1duck2020: Only if he remembers the names. [+25] u/All_FIREdUp: Thousands of troops headed to Iran and you retards still think we aren’t invading 🫵😂 [+15] u/Chlo-Motion: “We try to ignore Trump,” Renaud Saleur, chief executive of Geneva-based hedge fund Anaconda, said in an interview. The implications of the president’s commentary for stocks and derivatives are “not manageable,” and “he changes opinion ten times a day.”  They are basically calling 🥭 a regard😂 [+12] u/oouncolaoo: On March 31, I’m on the hook to buy $300,000 in QQQ (unless something magical happens and it breaks back above $600/share). But I like to look at the bright side, I *almost* made $7,000 on the trade. 🤪 This is not good trading. Be smarter than me. [+12] u/RemarkableVictory990: OF Girls about to get hit hard by the recession they about to all do more explicit content for cheap can't wait [+12] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: Iran told mediators any ceasefire with the U.S. and Israel must also include stopping strikes on Hezbollah, effectively tying Gaza and Lebanon together. That adds a new layer to talks, making a deal dependent on halting Israel’s operations beyond Gaza. In short: one ceasefire now has multiple conditions So never happening [+11] u/Same_College2053: Some of you may die. But thats a sacrifice im willing to make. [+11] u/Nice-Difference8641: I think trump demanding an end “in the coming weeks” rather than this weekend indicates that a limited ground incursion is going to happen to take an island and use it as “leverage” in negotiations. I don’t think it’ll work out the way trump thinks it will [+10] u/No-Detective-6229: Just discovered schwab equity rating and almost all my stocks are F [+10] u/No_Stand5622: I am suing WSB for gamble addiction like Facebook and YouTube. [+10] u/SlfImpr: What are those cryptic videos from the White House X account: **Video 1:** [https://x.com/WhiteHouse/status/2036986672131326340](https://x.com/WhiteHouse/status/2036986672131326340) **Video 2:** [https://x.com/WhiteHouse/status/2036975697671946362](https://x.com/WhiteHouse/status/2036975697671946362) (you have to turn sound on) [+10] u/llasar17: They always come back [+9] u/CulturalConclusion76: No one can replace Alan Rickman but black Snape can say the N-word which makes him a formidable wizard [+9] u/AlarmedPelican: You don't ask for $200B if you're planning to taco in a few weeks. That's more than the total ukraine spend [+9] u/LarsTarkas: No pump or dump this week just pure theta hell [+9] u/disrepaired: It’s all water under the fridge [+9] u/Contango_withme: Taking a trip to Washington DC to see the cherry blossoms 🌸 Should I ask my neighbor to go with me? [+9] u/HospitalSuspicious: Tf is mango and the White House doing rn, nobody wants these cryptic ass tweets [+9] u/Split_Seconds: These talks between USA and IRAN are just for thr world stage to show they have given diplomacy a chance. You don't have 5000+ troops ready to to half way around the world just to tell them to turn around. [+9] u/Concerned_Fanboy: it isnt a flight, they are floating over on ships [+8] u/BigLaddiator: Up 97% this week. My strategy is to inverse this thread and then inverse myself, which ultimately leads me back to following the thread trend. Do with this what you will.... [+8] u/Purple_Bearkat: Surprised 🥭hasn’t accidentally used the term “special military operation “ [+8] u/Nice-Difference8641: The news media has been reporting that trump wants the war over soon every single day for the last 3 and a half weeks and they still haven’t decided to doubt it. It’s like when those apocalypse cults pass the day that the end of the world was going to happen and then decide on a new day the end of the world will happen as if they weren’t just tricked. except instead of an apocalypse cult it’s the WSJ [+8] u/Fit_Slide508: The whole plot of Executive Orders by Tom Clancy which came out 30 years ago talked about an Islamic State closing the strait to disrupt US and world economy (and consequences). [+8] u/Ok_Cry7572: Future generations won't ever believe AI usage was free back in the day [+8] u/Illimited_Esoterica: The US: "We are having good talks but are sending thousands of ground troops for reasons that elude even us." Iran: "fuck it, we ball" [+8] u/LarryStink: SpaceX rushing to ipo as exit liquidity dries up. Its now or never as markets roll over. One would logically think they would want to ipo in the middle of a euphoric market where bubbles are expanding in order to get the highest valuation. That is unless, they see their window of opportunity quickly dissappearing for the next several years. [+8] u/LarryStink: Team america isnt just a funny movie. Its a documentary. [+8] u/Scrotumoneil: I have no idea what’s going on but if tweets are involved it’s a fake dump to buy for the pump for the oligarchs. [+7] u/Assketchum1: Using stop losses is like riding a bike with training wheels. [+7] u/Philthatman: Im done lying about what I want, i need SPY down bigly so my puts can print [+7] u/llasar17: yeah we get it. you like butt stuff [+7] u/music_is_gud: It would be really funny if the Dow never gets back to 50k during Donnie's presidency [+7] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: My wife snores so fucking loud lately I'm actually considering sleeping the guest room from now on [+7] u/Spear_n_Magic_Helmet: which tiktok dance do I do to deescalate geopolitical tensions [+7] u/Dbestinvest: He looks a lil brown not so orange [+7] u/StrangeInsanity: Apparently there is a mystery trader on prediction markets that got 93% of the predictions right about this war. Wonder who that could be? [+7] u/housemoneyrocketship: “It’s launching soon right?” 💀 what is [+7] u/TheOriginalBushToad: Sitting on about $10K of SPY puts and CVX calls. Feeling pretty good about tomorrow.... [+7] u/poopy_wizard132: Broccoli is the perfect toilet brush and people eat it and think it's safe😂😂 [+6] u/Malve1: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Would you consider DOW 70K and Donnie goes to jail for war crimes? I mean that’s more of a win/win. [+6] u/Spear_n_Magic_Helmet: I just MIG welded for the first time.. this is actual sorcery? Like you just push a button and two pieces of metal are now one? And they just let you buy this fantasy device at home depot [+6] u/mog75: Anyone remember the fertilizer post? It's gonna be big gains. Latest news says the shortage is growing. [+6] u/Metal-Water: Just did the math. I’ll be profitable by the year 2032 [+6] u/Nice-Difference8641: 👁️👄👁️ It’s launching soon [+6] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: The bombings will continue until morale improves [+6] u/Phandomtrigger: Imagine being such terrible parents you blame everyone but yourself yikes [+6] u/MagneticRetard: im not american but i do wish you fellow american regards good luck idk i feel like shits getting more and more bleak but maybe that's just the algo feeding me [+6] u/No-Detective-6229: iran has official procedures for ships requesting to cross the strait. Ships have to provide a list of crew and cargo, destination, and bills of lading. Think about the next 🥭 or peat hedgehog gets up on stage and says they are winning. that is so embarrassing [+6] u/Creative-Process-789: So the 'art of the deal' is to make some outrageously ridiculous offer that they will decline, then negotiate a slightly less outrageous offer that they accept because its less stupid lmao [+6] u/Potemkin_Pillage: Chaos is a ladder. Good luck tomorrow. [+6] u/TheSelfishMan: Al Jazeera - The Islamic Resistance in Iraq says its fighters have carried out 23 operations against US bases in the country and throughout the region over the past day. https://aje.news/yxenis?update=4434900 Iraq part two, electric boogaloo [+5] u/Jupitersd2017: I don’t know what she said but Nancy mace said she won’t approve anything boots on the ground, meaning congress won’t, meanwhile Netanyahu is calling for the US to bomb the shit out of Iran over the next 48 hours to end the war and take out their arms industry. So who the fuck knows [+5] u/Ok_Cry7572: Coca cola can clean toilets and people drink it and think it's safe😂😂 [+5] u/TheMeta40k: There is no such thing as beef, it's just cow. They lied to you. Shit their pants. Don't pay taxes. [+5] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: “Peace talks” as a distraction lmao [+5] u/FleetingBeacon: Whitehouse video "it's launching soon right" better be a fuckin nuke to some oil depots so my shit starts printing i swear down [+5] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: there are no days where msft is ever green huh [+5] u/Worried_Quarter469: Civilization ending = war ending Bullish [+5] u/Regular_King_4157: We going to 640 tomorrow. Thing is are we going to dump before open or during. [+5] u/Worried_Quarter469: Trailer for this weekend’s ground invasion just dropped https://www.reddit.com/r/SipsTea/s/uhW1gNGdgb Guessing it’s bad for the market if they can’t open the strait, win or lose [+5] u/Snowman33001: Ok, I’m ready to be hurt again tomorrow in the market. Not that you gay bears have the decency to ask… [+5] u/Assketchum1: Strike is probably tomorrow. [+5] u/Harp-Note: $6 banana split takes the edge off losing money today 😮‍💨 [+5] u/Glam34: i can wait out dips in the market. Its my 1dtes that are getting impatient. [+5] u/LarryStink: Your welcome. https://monitor-the-situation.com/eastern-europe [+5] u/Ok_Worldliness_2902: 🥭 is so mad that Iran won't just let him claim victory and leave. [+26] u/soad1331: Ya know, I could live with recession if it means 🥭 goes down in a blaze of humiliation, embarrassment and disgrace [+17] u/Successful-End7689: feels like early covid vibes… everyone thinking this is temporary and under control [+15] u/2tapbaptise: LOL even us Asian don't trust Trump bs 💀 [+15] u/sushilee123: Genuinely curious what 🥭lovers are gonna do when their Messiah eventually dies. [+14] u/f0xinaround: Uh so were those videos like a weird mk ultra trigger? Anyone else have the urge to make sourdough bread after watching them? [+14] u/Slabbed1738: I must be insane be for thinking the launching soon video is about some app or shit and not a fucking nuclear weapon huh [+14] u/Soy_tu_papi_: i hope the war will end again tomorrow [+13] u/Rosebunse: He probably wants Iran to think he will nuke them. With that being said, the man clearly wants to launch a nuke and has wanted that for a long time. So...yeah, this is getting stupid. [+12] u/aa73gc: Oil: rumours of my death were greatly exaggerated [+11] u/Idlehour_Knives: So this motherfucker just lost a war lol Just replaced their aging dictator with his younger more hardline son and made gas expensive lmao [+11] u/Long_Exchange_7347: Good news = pump Bad news = pump No news = pump Lies = pump Extremely bad news = slight dump Wtf even is this shit [+11] u/absolutxtr: Best first year ever for any president. 8 wars stopped. Winning another. Bla bla fucking bla [+10] u/TheMallard1: BREAKING: It's cheaper to buy cocaine and run everywhere [+10] u/MasterElite1: >FED'S MIRAN: 'ZERO BLEED THROUGH' OF OIL SHOCK INTO INFLATION EXPECTATIONS; MARKET INFLATION OUTLOOK UNMOVED BY OIL SURGE & CENTRAL BANKS SHOULD TYPICALLY LOOK THROUGH OIL SHOCKS This is your central bank. [+9] u/No_Fig_7835: Oh wow, what a surprise, futes are red, after a day of us going green for no reason, the pattern repeats.... [+9] u/Staynunknown4ever: This sub should be renamed DoomerCircleJerkBets [+9] u/hermeskino715: "fucker didnt listen to his advisors/analyst and said im just gonna put my dick in the lawn mower and c if the lawn mower capitulates. and now that lawn mower has failed to capitulate he would like his cabinet to all put their dicks into said lawn mower and c if it will choke on a mass of dicks. me thinks no." Random X comment lol [+9] u/Advanced_Structure21: Ending the Iran war is easy!! I must've done it a dozen times by now! [+9] u/Aggressive_Bit_91: Who knew it’d take WW3 to make this sub active again. Haven’t seen it like this in a bit [+9] u/Lopsided_Process5141: Fidelity User interface isn't great though. Very reliable though [+8] u/leshermes: Monday - Fake Pump Tuesday - Fake Pump Wednesday - Dump Thursday - Dump Friday - Dump [+8] u/Icommandyou: WH vagueposting through all of this [+8] u/Subymoa: Energy cost increase is bearish for AI. [+8] u/Rvin16: They’re probably delaying GTA 6 and 🥭 is not happy. Midterms is coming up and he wants the game to launch with no delays even if he has cráter a country to do it [+8] u/Unemployable1593: so anyways i started blasting [+8] u/mapsosa: what is this a dump for ants [+8] u/No-Dust-1722: It’s the age of the 🌮you can’t price in boots on the ground until the Marines start up a livestream on the beach [+7] u/BrownDog42069: if watching your kids doesn’t bring you joy then re evaluate. if you are just watching random kids then also re evaluate [+7] u/Reply_Stunning: did they shoot down an F18 ? :( [+7] u/These-Shoulder8017: Morlocks. We all gona become Morlocks. [+7] u/Front_Umpire4873: Heart attack incoming [+7] u/Comfortable733: Have you ever seen a nuke go off with your own eyes? They’re not real. Hollywood. [+7] u/Illustrious_Job1951: #WHAT IS LAUNCHING NOW? [+6] u/Aggressive_Bit_91: Oil being lower than when Iran and Israel went at it last time with no oil disruptions is funny tbh [+6] u/sadguy__: Pentagon confirmed sending troops to middle East why did not oil price pump ? [+6] u/Zimoula: Bers went from omelette to scrambles [+6] u/Gaseous_Clay_OK: “I got ten flat tires today” ChatGPT: “That’s incredibly frustrating 😩 Ten flat tires in one day is beyond bad luck.” [+6] u/SovietPower777: We expect invasion on Friday night, so they play "never let them guess your next move" and attack on Thursday? [+5] u/No-Dust-1722: O great fute sages of WSB, how boned are my SLV weeklies [+5] u/NiceJobSon: Guys I have to make dinner, please don’t say anything funny or insightful for at least an hour and a half, thanks. [+5] u/RomanJohnWick: Bols are silly for thinking the things will be green long term. Less crop will be planted this year, refineries need to be restored and turned back on, the war is costing billions, capital flight will shift power, there is no job creation in the US, and US debt is not sustainable without extreme money printing. The house of cards is going to topple at some point [+5] u/ReleaseThePodGeoph: No one is talking about gld being sold at a massive discount rn [+22] u/shasta747: DIS should make ‘Brokeback Mountain 2’ with Sydney Sweeney & Ana de Armas, stonk will moon without even mentioning AI [+17] u/skarfbeaulonee: If everyone on earth downvotes this comment I'll win.the most.downvoted comment in Reddit history. [+14] u/Samjabr: Congress votes down bill that would prevent them from receiving a salary as long as other Federal employees (TSA, Coast Guard, Secret Service, etc) are not being paid. They really just don't give a fk. Puts on all of us [+11] u/NeighborhoodDry1821: Spy’s literally 0.01% and you guys are spamming pump [+11] u/veggieroll1up: 3x leveraged ETFs are bad mmmmkay [+11] u/Difficult_Resort5292: Are the peace talks in the room with us? [+11] u/EyeSea7923: It's actually spelled, cash gayng [+10] u/TheScourgeOfHumanity: Buying 0dtes when your pillow looks like a teabag is insane [+10] u/EyeSea7923: Be cool if politicians went to jail for lying, cheating and/or stealing like we do. [+9] u/Shoddy_Vegetable4268: Was a heavy smoker but stopped 73 days ago when I started looking for a new job. Now I have an offer but not sure if I’ll pass hopefully it’s been long enough [+9] u/EyeSea7923: I don't know if y'all have sex clubs in your city, but the people who act like dogs creep me out. I feel like I should encourage them to seek help, but don't want to get bitten [+8] u/Bill-Imaginary: dammit i was car shopping, now i’ll just be a bear on a bicycle [+8] u/Largeshmarge: Watching Casino for the 89th time. [+8] u/BarbellPadawan: Was that vid of Secretary Kegsbreath benching three plates a deep fake? [+8] u/_pout_: Video of Melania walking with a robot today and it was hard to tell which was more robotic [+8] u/Own-Wolverine-5361: It's so ded in here. Everyone under 42 yrs old must've gotten drafted for war [+8] u/Own-Wolverine-5361: She's a 10, but wants to receive equal protection under laws regarding divorce, child custody, and inheritance. Absolute haram [+7] u/horseisahorse: after hours weirdness [+7] u/Equivalent-Quail138: If you're feeling bad about any losses today, just remember that on this night 5 years ago, Bill Hwang finished blowing up $20 billion dollars. And there was no tweets to blame, he just levered up to his personal risk tolerance on garbage like Viacom. [+7] u/GoZukkYourself: Remember when futes were red? [+7] u/Euphoric_Present8838: Just knocked out 25 push ups without taking a break. I’m absolutely the strongest regard in this sub. Now bow. Bow down, weaklings. [+6] u/NOMADGRUBS: PUUUUUUUMP PUMP PUMPY PAAMP [+6] u/dontlikeyacutG: elevator down and elevator up, this is fun [+6] u/Pazzaaaaaa: Don’t come to school tomorrow bers [+6] u/Professional_Con_007: Market needs therapy [+6] u/SevereRule5718: Today was the best time to. [+5] u/The_Irishman_05: Same brother. This shi happens every week. Reality will catch up with people by Friday [+5] u/Coogiez: Alright gentlemen I come from the future. ES is going to trade at 6800 tomorrow [+5] u/Ok_Abbreviations8440: When is the Hormuz deadline? Do I have time to buy spy puts tomorrow [+5] u/JokeKindly2215: What happens in Iran's stock market? Maybe I can still sell msft in Iran stock exchange for 550$??? [+5] u/ImOnTheBus: Used to pretend to take a shower before school but just sleep on the bathroom floor. Decades later: the sound of a runnig shower is like a tranquilizer [+19] u/Beagle001: We can’t have any fat generals anymore! Fitness tests for them all. 6 mos later Ok ok so to be in the most powerful military the world, yea it’s ok if you’re 42 with a dad bod and nibble on edibles. [+13] u/utwx7u2: Mango is so desperate [+13] u/BigBritches619: Can’t just bomb the shit out of them and ask them to shake hands homie [+10] u/47_Puppies: White House X account is tweeting some weird shit tonight [+10] u/BugStock: Operation Epstein Fury [+10] u/No_Relief_8705: Why oil going up? Is there something going on in the world?? [+10] u/plzplzplztendies: #BRING BACK THE FIVE GUYS FRY CUP [+10] u/Dividedby21mil: The enemies of the USA have absolutely nothing to worry about… during market hours. [+9] u/TJMBeav: S&P futures (and index) just won't break the downtrend with any gusto at all. It will eventually but 6600 feels like its becoming a ceiling short term? Makes rapid swing trading hard boys, but I am getting addicted to winning [+9] u/Devastaytah: Holy drill team six arrived early [+9] u/torokunai: that won't open the strait either. [+8] u/DesignerSea494: Odd how a nation whose war fighting capability has reportedly been destroyed, would balk at a ceasefire… weird. It’s almost like maybe someone is lying. [+8] u/Fluffy-Discussion166: Told y'all to buy SMCI @ 20. But y'all regard and hate money [+8] u/Jets237: Filled up on my way home for 3.69/gal. Best investment decision in weeks [+7] u/itsnotshade: Bro how are oil inventories dropping. Don’t they know oil futes are down because of a peace deal. [+7] u/strip_club_dj: Damn they hit Iran's Bushehr nuclear power plant a second time. [+7] u/DuAbUiSai: Black Severus Snape was not on my bingo card. [+7] u/ILikeCorgiButt: Is the hummus open or not? Schrodinger’s Hummus? [+7] u/XeroShyft: The absolute state of MSFT [+7] u/McTurtleAteMyCalls: If you think Iran is going to let ships pass through the Strait I have a Strait to sell you. [+7] u/Theipodrookie: 🥭could fart in the mic for 10 mins straight tomorrow and pump the market 2% bers will never win this [+6] u/confused_teabagger: Yes, unfortunately it is located inside your prostate [+6] u/dogefool88: Looks like I sold my MU puts too soon today. This stock has more room to go down; may be 300 [+5] u/After-Run5174: As the daily energy need of an adult man is about 2,400 kilocalories, a dead male body could thus have fed a group of 25 men for a bit more than two days, provided they ate nothing but the human flesh alone – longer if it was part of a mixed diet. [+5] u/Hairy-Background6049: If I consistently make 200 dollars a day, can I move to another country? [+5] u/Standard_Tea8250: wtf are the news now [+23] u/Bloomeyer: >Trump claims Iran proposed making him Supreme Leader: I said, 'No, thank you' cooked lmfao [+17] u/Diet_Water: Tom Lee (Fat Cuck): besides the war, oil prices, labor market, tariffs wars, we see no other headwinds [+11] u/OptionsHuduga: Markets gonna fall off a cliff tomorrow huh? [+11] u/cyril1991: Does Iran even realize the US is about to deploy to Krang Island the top sniper in the entire United States forces, with access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps? He is even trained in gorilla warfare. [+11] u/Ev0cati0: 40% of russian oil export halted. [+10] u/General_Wealth_5177: Private eqity probs. sotware probs. Stroage probs. GDP tanking, Jobs tanking, no rate cuts, talk about rate hikes, war and oil prices. why would anyone go long? Because Mango gots a present?!?! true regards [+10] u/SolomonKings7: Looks like ground invasion by Saturday morning. [+10] u/jijitalk: Man fuck microsoft, stupid limp dick shit. Fuck you. [+9] u/Raw-Garden: Spy chart honestly is beautifully working itself down. Looks almost like a stock photo lol [+9] u/Maximum-Counter-4904: fishing trip with the boys i’m thinking strait of hormuz [+9] u/CD274: Why would the mods make these threads. Do they not want us to sleep [+9] u/sonofalando: “So you rented a crappy apartment for 10 years while investing extra money into the stock market?” “Yes Dave” “Then the S&P 500 went flat for a decade and you have nothing to show for your spent money?” “That’s correct Dave” [+8] u/General_Wealth_5177: Hold on to your cocks. its going to be two really red days. then go long for the weekend. if you have the stones. [+8] u/PeeOnDusk: If oil goes up, I will lose my life savings. But at least my model y resale value might go up by $500 [+8] u/TippyTippyTippyTop: This season’s amazing race ends on Kharg Island! I can’t wait! [+7] u/nvidia69420: So poots printing tomorrow or another FRAUD pump into theta? ☹️ [+7] u/HowIsEmuWarriorTaken: Iran just suspended Visa on Arrival for America. Don't think the marines would be allowed to board [+7] u/softboiledjadepotato: Ok mom's basement Bloomberg, what happened? [+7] u/Different_Being368: Beartrap into bulltrap into fakeout into dump into pump. Absolute filth. [+7] u/cbusoh66: This model says SpaceX is worth $240-$390 billion. https://x.com/LostFundamental/status/2035879873982370267?s=20 $1.75 trillion my ass. Explains why he folded xAI into SpaceX and invented the whole thing about data centers in space because launch and Starlink are not worth more than $200 billion based on 10X P/S. [+7] u/LostMyMag: Bols liquidating gold again to provide margins for their 1 DTEs [+7] u/Mother-Bottle9962: do NOT forget, its launching soon [+7] u/Several_Bread_9144: Losers on r/stocks talking about buying the dip after 5% down from ath. You know what that means [+7] u/Queasy_Soil9646: Buying 4/17 RKLB $100 C [+6] u/SirBuysHighALot: Surely all those paratroopers or ground troops didn’t go there for nothing. Something is cooking for the weekend. [+6] u/xStringerBellx: ya it loads but doesn't show my feed and acts like I have a new acct [+6] u/Bloomeyer: cant wait for the v before open so my puts are worthless once again [+6] u/gentlesandwich: Is SPY actually just repeating the same pattern as last year? [+6] u/sailortyx56: USPS will impose an 8% surcharge on packages to cover the rising cost of fuel-WSJ It is 2022 all over again. Lol [+5] u/River_Sandhu: As soon as they took Hormuz this war was economically won. Bombs won’t do a thing [+25] u/aaapod: they might release the files to distract from the war at this point [+20] u/AP123123123: Has the market finally got it that nobody is negotiating with the 🥭 [+18] u/yutao123: Insane crash incoming the moment boots touch the ground. Gold to 3000, spy to 600, oil to 200. [+18] u/Urzuck: Short term pain, long term pain. [+18] u/Potential_Version_34: Hard times create war in the Middle East Good times create war in the Middle East Weak leaders create war in the Middle East Strong leaders create war in the Middle East The Middle East creates war in the Middle East [+18] u/medievalsteel2112: I am so fucked. Fuck you MSFT [+16] u/trainwreck001: RAISE THE MAX AGE FOR ARMY ENLISTMENT TO 65 AND LETS GET THE PARTY STARTED. [+15] u/Voenker: \*Fortunate Son intensifies\* [+15] u/Necessary_Ad_9800: So now I’m a bagholder of both MSFT and MU 😞 [+14] u/dbd209: I use to look up at the stars and think of all the possibilities. Not only would I think of all the things that could be out there behind what my eyes could see, but I'd also think about all the possibilities of where my life could go. Fast forward almost 15 years later, and today when I looked up at the stars, I didn't think of what else could be out there. I just saw the sky for what it is, for the reality of it. I suppose age teaches us all, but man, what I would give up to go back to being that 17yr old kid who had big dreams and believed anything was possible. Life is a gift, and somewhere along the way way, I lost sight of that and I let circumstances determine my fate. Cheers to better days ahead. [+14] u/Potential_Version_34: Fuck it I’ll open my own strait of Hormuz With blackjack, and hookers [+14] u/Fun_Purpose6972: This was has now lasted a month, and the goal has shifted from regime change to opening the Strait of Hormuz. Which was already open before the war. [+12] u/dontslambro: ISRAELI MEDIA: ELIMINATION OF THE OFFICIAL RESPONSIBLE FOR CLOSING THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ, ALI REZA TАНКSIRI They really don’t want oil to go down or deescalation. [+12] u/monstergoat77: 6 mu red days in a row. [+11] u/Gombrongler: Market dumps friday Monday Morning: "I just recieved a big wet sloppy tongue kiss from an Iranian official. It was the biggest wetest sloppiest kiss youve ever seen, like you wouldnt believe" Spy $900 [+11] u/DateUser66: RIP micropenissoft, time for a new MAG7. [+11] u/Kattilaeikka: I'd like to order one market manipulating truth social post please. [+10] u/x2eliah: More countries should have jumped onto solar/wind. You don't need to export sunshine from the middle-east. [+10] u/Only-Cranberry-4502: Like bro don’t ever get banned from burger king like you legit have to call up like corporate to get unbanned [+10] u/drpa1n: So the gulf states are selling the bonds, gold and stocks to stay afloat as they have zero income since the strait closed. This is a ticking time bomb [+10] u/PutVivid6052: 🥭 going to get the straights open and call it a victory, almost a guarantee. It was open before this fat retard started a fucking war. [+9] u/hfbvm2: So what do you think Ayatollah Trump will do today to pump up the market [+9] u/AP123123123: Ground invasion right after the market close on Friday. Post from Trump about its huge success and very expensive presents from Iran before market opens on Monday [+9] u/Fkn1v1mem8: I tried warning you guys yesterday that today was going to be Thursday. It happens after every Wednesday and you guys are too stupid to realize [+8] u/Pax19: S&P try to have two consecutive green days challenge (impossible) [+8] u/Specialist_Resort539: The 32gb ram i bought a year ago has official 4x in price [+8] u/rand_walking_charts: For now. But they are always I fake twitt from salvation 😂 [+8] u/Urzuck: They really decided to blow up oil global production for no reason this year uuh [+8] u/AusConsoleGamesLFG: Daily reminder to anyone who isn't already all in - DON'T gamble options, anyone without education on them and a good, strong, non-gambler mindset, should not be buying options at all... You WILL regret it like more than 90% of people do... You'll lose anything you win anyway... Better to quit now with a smaller loss and change your life, than it is to lose everything else you have remaining [+8] u/user365735: Not gonna lie .. Msft is cooked.🐡 [+8] u/Icy_Jelly_315: Sup my amerini🅱️🅱️as 🇺🇸🦅 [+8] u/Iamhappilyconfused: I will not trade today. I will not trade today. I will not trade today. I will not trade today. I will not trade today. I will not trade today. I will not trade today. I WILL NOT TRADE TODAY! [+8] u/CATLLM: He really did start a war just because of the PDFs. [+7] u/talaabo: Vietnam war started as a small incursion and every body sleepwalked into a long war. Iran has the same blueprint, he is already asking for surrender with nothing for the Iranians. [+7] u/trainwreck001: MR BEAST GOES TO MILITARY EXCURSION. THUMBNAIL IN PROGRESS [+7] u/pussinbuuts: POWER OVER ~~SPICE~~ OIL IS POWER OVER ALL [+7] u/Hot-Ambassador8740: Can someone who isn’t an absolute regard like most people on this sub explain why we ain’t going significantly down? Is it because earnings are legit and the only fundamentals that matter right now are oil prices since nothing else really affects the US? [+7] u/Praaaaskach: Please Donald-san, one more dump of oil to 92 so I can go all in 🙏 [+7] u/ArcDogRob: Just a reminder that regard Barron is the richest 19-yr-old in America. [+7] u/Borderpotroll: I have no idea how some idiots on here blow up their $100k portfolios. Have you never heard of an OCO? How on earth do you justify position sizing of 20% or even more on 0DTE options? You have to be truly, truly regarded [+6] u/teh_herper: #I got puts, I got calls, literally cannot go tits up [+6] u/moazzam0: Only way to end this war is to yeet oil to $300. [+6] u/Historical_Hunt2492: REDDIT KEEPS BANNING ME, I KEEP COMING BACK, HOWWW???? [+6] u/Ernest_EA: This guy could’ve kept his mouth shut and SPY $700 [+6] u/An_Unusual_Mind: 9:15am, "We accept Iran's demands." [+5] u/ExoticDaikon1872: 2 days to trump ultimatum but he will taco again [+5] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: Bulls are caught with their pants down. Bears are having diabolical thoughts. Cash gang is gooning to the scene. [+17] u/Fhyzikz: It turns out it was the most consequential election of our entire lives not just for US but for the whole world as well. Puts. [+15] u/unpaid-astroturfer: If energy gets expensive as fuck, AI can't take your job! You should be thankful! - Hegseth, probably [+13] u/CornMonkey-Original: it’s concerning. . . never heard Tom Lee so uncertain of the market before. [+13] u/Dependent_Boat_3144: Fake news, we have completely destroyed their air force, navy and millitary [+13] u/joycaptain: Everyone riding kangaroos [+12] u/Initial-Magazine2169: He's just so fucking stupid. [+10] u/Superente_: Good News: I am 50% cash Bad News: I am 50% cash [+10] u/rebel-capitalist: If you still believe we haven’t entered a bear market then you are delusional [+9] u/2c-b_day: Dont worry. You'll be 75% cash by open [+9] u/Majestic-Ad-1448: Last 2 days sucked in the bulls. Today is the slaughter [+9] u/bertacle: "Timing the market is hard" Sure, this drop was so impossible to predict XD [+9] u/Ahzmer: I mean, sometimes i wonder how stupid the market is that it doesnt realize we are knee deep in shit, and i wonder if im the regarded one after all. But maybe it takes time to gather enough exit liquidity? [+9] u/Optionmonger: Iran and Iraq fought an incredibly destructive war. The idea that a bombing campaign and some troops on the ground is going to solve this is laughable and there is religion involved. Americas fist is deep in the tar baby. I don't see any reasonable outcome for this fiasco. [+9] u/Senior_Professional4: Investors pricing in people would rather pay $10 a litre then buy a tsla [+9] u/knoqd_: Why would Palm Beach Pete do this [+8] u/TrumpAllOverMe: dubai subreddit legit good DD (they post instantly every time a missile gets hit) [+8] u/Leather_Mention5916: America why him, of all the brilliant people living there you choose him!!! [+8] u/scarneo: You don't even need a brilliant person, just don't choose the stupidest [+8] u/KingRegardothe2nd: 🥭 ACCEPT DEFEAT, OPEN THE STRAIT! OR WE BOMB YOU MORE TO MAKE THINGS WORSE FOR EVERYONE BUT PLEASE END IT I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MORE POPULARITY NOW I'M IN THE SHIT AND CAN'T BACK OUT! AND AGREE TO CALL ME SUPREME LEADER BECAUSE I LIKE THE SOUND OF IT [+8] u/UnDemen: Seriously, who the fuck maintains positions over the weekend, given we might land invade Iran?? [+8] u/Sad-Substance8684: Are we getting a market-saving fake news? Stay tuned for more. BBC News, London [+7] u/isolated-cat: everything is a random pump and dump these days [+7] u/Extremepleasurepro: We are so back to last year's level [+7] u/FartPolluter: People acting like 2022 never happened, and so far we are nowhere near the drawdown. [+7] u/IggysPop3: THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER [+7] u/A55BAG: 40% of russian oil exports are currently stopped after Ukraine attacked the Primorsk, Ust-Luga and Novorossiisk crude oil ports. Smoke can be seen all the way in Finland. Bessent might want to exit his oil short soon 🤣 https://preview.redd.it/b39low5zscrg1.png?width=2388&format=png&auto=webp&s=fa1135a29d449c633c54fd91b8cf09e9ec96c18e [+7] u/Fun-Age-5749: Microsoft shows no resistance at all, ts gonna hit 350 soon [+7] u/hioman01: Freak the fuck out and sell everything right now [+7] u/AgitatedJump8459: Im done holding oil over the weekend. Made a little money, but lost years of my life due to stress [+6] u/kairepaire: Are we kicking MSFT out of mag7 before TSLA??? [+6] u/Suspicious_Ad9833: Mango's wasted his one insider trade for the week, just a note to Pakistan because Iran refuses to negotiate. Markets,media and algo's surely now know he no longer has the power to end this war? [+19] u/MrNewking: Well at least the United States has universal health care and a robust investment in infrastructure and education at home. For a second I thought we were just wasting billions in the sandbox out east. [+18] u/daisymoth9: he’s so cooked for midterms [+16] u/Colloquial: Holy fuck I'm trying to get the "news" from big man and it's covered with the shittiest ads more and more. Puts [+14] u/OkResponsibility2470: those regards who believed 🥭 was actually capable of producing a peace deal have gotten awfully quiet [+13] u/mayorolivia: New Trump threat on Truth Social. RIP market [+13] u/falken2023: Ah shit, 🥭already throwing tantrums this morning. But, but, why won’t everyone else clean up my fucking mess? You broke it. You bought it. [+13] u/HDauthentic: He tweets like one of his own voters at this point, just a fucking idiot overall lmao [+11] u/ShikariV: We won the war on Day 1, which is why we are doing a ground invasion on Day 30. It’s called 10D chess you nerds. [+11] u/Consistent-Platypus3: Say what you want but this is straight up not the America i want 🤷‍♂️ [+11] u/Consistent-Platypus3: Lol, Atlanta Airport is backed up so much people are waiting in line fucking outside. Brother it is so over. 😭😭😭 [+10] u/fredditf: he said it wont be pretty, i agree - $200 oil wont be pretty [+10] u/ultrachem: He is soooo going to attack Iran this weekend [+9] u/OkResponsibility2470: France's Finance Minister Roland Lescure revealed on Wednesday that between 30 and 40 per cent of Gulf refining capacity has been damaged or destroyed by Iran's retaliatory strikes, leaving a shortage of 11 million barrels a day on global oil markets. Lescure warned it could take up to three years to restore damaged facilities, and several months to restart those that were urgently shut down. [+8] u/baconography: Coffee and cigarettes [+8] u/kawkface: WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN [+8] u/basedpogchamp: Crashing this economy... with no survivors [+8] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: #BREAKING NEWS: ALL STONKS ON SALE TOMORROW. FIRE SALE. REPEAT, EVERYTHING MUST GO [+7] u/PeachScary413: What's the point, he's just gonna make some shit up like "Just got off the phone with Mr Ayatollah, they surrendered and the war is over" and the algos will pump it back to flat lmao 🤌 [+7] u/VariousScenes: What is the best case scenario at this point? No side is budging and Iran has the upper hand. Does anyone really see Trump backing down fully? Don't want to sound like a doomer but I genuinely don't see a way out of an economic catastrophe here, its a stalemate situation. Anyways, calls. [+7] u/kaapooj: > [OECD:] U.S. headline inflation is now forecast to hit 4.2% in 2026, up 1.2 ​percentage points from the previous projection. and u are bullish? https://www.reuters.com/world/china/oecd-iran-war-erases-global-growth-upgrade-fans-inflation-2026-03-26/ [+7] u/Dumb__Money: Don’t tell us “it won’t be pretty”, sugarcoat it, tell “everything will be much better” to move the market up. [+7] u/Colloquial: "This is the bottom" 🤡🗑️🔥 [+6] u/StevieWonder557: He told +77M Americans that the cause of their problems were those people over there and only he could make their life better. Just like that guy did in Germany 1933.