What Are Your Moves Tomorrow, March 02, 2026

[+97] u/ch0c0l8cake: https://preview.redd.it/t1hnhk8h4img1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=caf1fa30f8f8b9bd3ac0e812db004fcfaa0f294e [+72] u/knoqd_: > TRUMP: THERE WILL LIKELY BE MORE U.S. CASUALTIES Oh well as long as Israel is happy [+57] u/rTpure: imagine dying for Trump [+57] u/PregnantPickle_: My father works at the stock factory, he says they’re only making red ones tomorrow [+51] u/orangeyougladiator: Boy, this has been a long Friday. [+50] u/Venom17645: SELL EVERYTHING NOW, THE FUTURES ARE MELTING, YOUR PORTFOLIO IS AS GOOD AS ASH, AND THERE IS NO ESCAPE. ⸻ If you want, I can throw together 3–5 alternate one-sentence versions with slightly different flavors of panic so you can pick the one that hits hardest. Do you want me to do that? [+41] u/fuckyeahmageknight: Oil skyrocketing. This can’t be good for Olive Garden’s profit margins [+40] u/Moepenmoes: I am so sick of losing money [+39] u/WIWIWIWIIIII: Why the fuck this moron wears a baseball hat w a suit. Fuckin ridiculous digrace [+38] u/Right-Visual6951: https://preview.redd.it/2m54avwv4img1.jpeg?width=857&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1be0e615605adc0a7d82557c26a8414c77cd11fd [+37] u/thrashmetal_octopus: RIP to everyone that has to work in an office with liberal white women tomorrow [+35] u/McClintockC: So many tards are gonna go long on oil and get obliterated this week 🍿 [+32] u/Seadog98: This market makes no sense. War = Shrek cock probably [+31] u/CPA-hole: All I know about tomorrow is there are some people who are going to be absolutely fucked [+31] u/Zeppu: Everything that retard does raises inflation [+31] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: Lots are over thinking this. Like oh it's so obvious everyone thinks oil stocks will go up so they will go down and tech will rally for some reason think 5 steps ahead etc. Sometimes the most obvious answer from the beginning is the right answer. Oil stocks will pump tomorrow [+30] u/orangeyougladiator: I’m going back to the weekend thread. I’m not ready for the market. [+27] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: picked the wrong day to wake up [+25] u/ewzetf: imagine dying for epstein [+25] u/Bichael-Murry: # HOOOOOLLLYYYYYY FUTES FUCKING LOL *just a warm up before actual open* [+24] u/Whatevs56: Now he says it might last 4 weeks. [+24] u/DryNefariousness7927: I start a job tomorrow after leaving my job in September to trade options. [+23] u/fish_: i’m not scared you’re scared [+22] u/MindYoBusin3ss: Open the casino and let me in [+22] u/OkResponsibility2470: New neighbors just IPO’d across the hall: 8-person smoking committee, volume set to MAX. My sleep is down 40% YoY. Considering puts on my apartment [+22] u/Skeezerman: chat moving so fast no one will know im gay [+21] u/Crackbot420-69: I’m gonna freak the fuck out and panic sell everything. It’s fucking over. [+21] u/Venom17645: FUCKING HELL THE FUTESS DEAR MOTHER OF GODDD sorry, just creating drafts for 6pm ! [+21] u/Hot_Sacks: According to multiple sources, Ali Khamenei’s last words were “So that’s what Palantir fucking does!” [+21] u/disrepaired: Don’t let ww3 distract you from what they did in those files [+20] u/LostandConfused2024: Listen up regards. The market’s opening green tomorrow because the geopolitical chaos looks scary. The algos already panic-sold the headline on Friday, volatility got juiced, retail loaded up on puts, and now the only direction that maximizes pain is up. Conflict means government spending, spending means contracts, contracts mean earnings support, and earnings support means the indices float like nothing happened. Add in the fact that every escalation increases the odds of central banks getting “accommodative” faster, and suddenly bad news becomes liquidity foreplay. Green by open. [+20] u/Traditional_Hair_453: Bols are coping so hard that im actually feeling sad for them. [+20] u/Neader: If futures are green: I can relax If futures are red: Futes are never accurate anyway [+19] u/d33p7r0ubl3: Two hours until futures open and life has meaning [+19] u/cow_grass: How tf is there a debate about how the market is going to open. Its going to be blood red. [+19] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: Nails: bitten Hairline: receding Anxiety: ATHs Penis: average [+18] u/kaapooj: find someone that loves u as the US loves Israel [+18] u/Slow-Information-847: There is a problem. There is no head in Iran we can assassinate. There is no head in Iran we can negotiate to. So we just watch where their missiles are heading day after day. [+18] u/Mighty-HeaIthy: United States of Israel will gladly sacrifice your children to Baal. The Ukraine and the Iran are both worthy martyrs. [+17] u/ewzetf: imagine dying for epstein and his handlers [+17] u/Montyprice7206: That photo of JD Vance in the situation room, as if he had any authority with this whatsoever lol [+16] u/orangeyougladiator: Some of you may lose money this week but that’s a risk I’m willing to take. [+16] u/random120604: I have 2k in airlines stocks. Preparing to be ass fucked tomorrow [+16] u/Gristle__McThornbody: There will be epic fury when I jack off later today. [+16] u/NewDawn101: Iran needs to rebrand, change the name back to Persia, maybe try transgender for everyone, and open their borders [+16] u/Dennistheemennis: Instagram whores stranded in Dubai. They will continue to be urinated and shit on [+16] u/BettyRedHerring: Have you ever looked at someone and just known the wheel was turning but the hamster was dead? [+16] u/MartianSpaceCat: I went 100% in for stocks for the first time in ages and then this shit happens. I'd be sweating blood, tears and Red Bull if I had bought options. [+16] u/PushAble2463: Will Barron have to enlist? [+16] u/SaaSGrass: YOU MORON BEARS WAITING FOR THE MOST OBVIOUS SELL OFF OF ALL TIME. JUST ACCEPT YOUR FATE THAT SPY 700 IS TOMORROW [+15] u/Hefty-Chipmunk-5445: Holly fuck the bull cope going on here. [+15] u/Whatevs56: lol 🥭gonna have the GOP lose every election for the next 20 years. 25% support. [+15] u/HandsomeTod11: Uninstallah my robinhood app tomorrow [+15] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: r/valueinvesting #1 post today is not to sell tomorrow. We are actually fucked aren't we [+15] u/TheRealArmament: A lot of you will never be able to retire and it shows [+15] u/LarryStink: If He or any genius in his admin thinks there is going to be a freshly bathed, lightly powdered, US friendly regime in Iran buying everything to rebuild from Haliburton in 4 weeks they are on rat poison contaminated crack. [+15] u/ewzetf: muricans are never getting healthcare, puts on america https://preview.redd.it/u1m6k1n63img1.jpeg?width=995&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b73cc2a69d5aa87dff2d281fcdad629792c22647 [+14] u/hypeaze: This girl I like said come on over, there is nobody home. I went over, there was nobody home! [+14] u/kaapooj: people named in the f i l e s enjoying a nice, easy lifes while poor civilians die [+14] u/Eastern-Joke-7537: Those Epstein Files must have crossed 50,000! 😂 [+14] u/TheDudeAbidesFarOut: TSLA up 5% tomorrow just because... [+14] u/TABid-5073: I would like to live in precedented times [+14] u/Airhostnyc: Iran has no chance of winning anything honestly. Russia and China don’t even give a fuck [+14] u/BEAR_STEARNS_CEO: What the fuck did people do here a decade ago when SPY would go up or down like 0.2% a day? [+14] u/LarryStink: We went from oh shit to it will be over by Sunday to 4 or 5 days to now 4 weeks. [+14] u/OkMathematician3494: Donnie is still a pedophille [+14] u/Slightlybadpicks: Fifteen minutes until the insufferable bears come out marching 🤬🤬🤬 [+14] u/wilhelm96: of 18 major geopolitical acts of war since 1940 the S&P 500 typically recovered within 30 trading days. But also, HOLY FUCK SELL EVERYTHING [+14] u/DoubleSkew: # it's not gambling # it's called an: 'event contract' and i'm using it to hedge a non-existent position 😡 [+14] u/EmuIntrepid7374: You guys wouldn’t last long in war. Too fat and slow [+13] u/severed02: Holy [Futes](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTsipAyKE5-6WKBcP5PCys59qByerpnxC3SVSJrms93ag&s=10)! [+13] u/RougarouGumbo: 🌽is down a whole $100 from the price it was at Friday’s market close. [+13] u/callsonreddit: Feels good to be 90% cash over weekend [+13] u/Yousoldmetohigh: Futes gonna open -1.8% and fall to -2.9% by open. I have calls. [+13] u/cashflow_: https://preview.redd.it/o2e2jy8i4img1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0515a92b3b71c5cdfb1cbbdf3f1452d06fab9848 [+13] u/Frozen_Shades: 🚨Breaking News🚨 The Strait of Hormuz is now the Bi of Hormuz after the lovely evening with Fernando [+13] u/OpeDefinitely: pharmacy closed at 5 Google maps said I'd get there at 5:05 not proud but I made it on time ironically for ADHD meds [+13] u/Urzuck: Bols copium in this thread might be the most purest and most crystalline form that humanity ever discovered in history. [+13] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: Rest easy, guys, for I plan to buy puts at open. Within minutes of that happening, Iran will unconditionally surrender, and grant unfettered access to its oil, gas and rare earth resources. Global oil shipping lanes will be free and clear. Democracy and free and fair elections will take place on the same day, and a regime will be elected that will immediately pledge a deep and close alliance with the West. [+13] u/Williamnguyen62838: SPY -10% BY OPEN, THANKS ME LATER [+12] u/CheapAttempt2431: Just a two day special military operation 😏 [+12] u/bobby_stackz: Jfc so many political war experts in here lmao [+12] u/ConstantAd1: Imagine if Obama had just gone "🤷‍♂️" after three American soldiers were killed [+12] u/CapControl: my ai girlfriend called this a ''black swan event'' i cant fukcing believ this bitch [+12] u/Bichael-Murry: \> be a europoor \> do nothing - get everything \> win WHAT A TIMELINE TO BE ALIVE TBHHH [+12] u/Bangbangbang_123: Unfollowing wsb and deleting brokerage app if futes are .1% red Name calling, bullying, and "bers lmao"ing if futes are .1% green [+12] u/aquaticsardonic: Tomorrow's gonna be LIT. Let's FUCK [+12] u/Critical-Whereas-582: It’ll be up tomorrow, we all know it [+12] u/Pizzapimento: Can we invent a federal holiday so markets dont open tomorrow? [+12] u/ewzetf: none of u muricans are ever getting healthcare lol [+12] u/AirwickS: No need to guess what will happen next. There’s a long history of Republican Presidents wrecking economy and starting wars in Middle East. 1991 – Gulf War (G.H.W. Bush) • S&P 500: −17% after Kuwait invasion → +15–17% in weeks after war began 2001 – 9/11 & Afghanistan (G.W. Bush) • Dow: −7.1% first day markets reopened • S&P 500: ~−12% peak-to-trough → recovered within ~1 month 2003 – Iraq War (G.W. Bush) • S&P 500: ~−11% in months before invasion • +20%+ over the following year 2020 – Iran (Soleimani strike, Trump) • S&P 500: −1–2% intraday • Recovered losses within days [+12] u/SoPoleisThick: everyone got a different move, good luck to all ... Some of you will be instantly liquidated [+12] u/Valkorion335786: lol trash futes Green at open [+12] u/iThinkiStartedATrend: Back in 07 was the first time I deployed. My first day at my unit was a funeral for 3 Marines that were killed. I deployed and got lucky many times, but 3 dead on the command side is never going to be an issue. [+12] u/looool_k_libtard: 1 hour until limit down futures. Prepare for tech to be -15%. Get to your bunkers. [+12] u/Minnesotamad12: The situation room doesn’t have great ventilation. If Donny has another blow out in there, it’s gonna fucking reek [+11] u/BorrisZ: Can't believe there were retards who bought calls Friday. [+11] u/mods_ban_me: I’m fine with nuclear Armageddon as long as my calls print tbh [+11] u/Gamer6322: rklb and ASTS soar pls [+11] u/Unh0lyCatf1sh: Bezos bent the knee to 🥭 and is still getting fucked by the administration 🫵🤣 [+11] u/Plastic_Heat_5797: BTC up 1.5% over past 5 days and people are thinking that it’s rallying 🤣 [+11] u/Not_constant_witness: We’ve been arguing for two days if it’s flat I’m gonna be so pissed [+11] u/rcantu314: Way too bearish in here. Calls at open [+11] u/CEO-of-SOXL: Why are all the pedophiles bombing Iran? [+11] u/31andnotdone: wish i wasn't a miserable middle aged put buyer and i could be drafted to die. buls losing money is a cause worth dying for [+11] u/artandambition: If the market is red I better see a whole lot of jokes about people’s ports getting bombed [+10] u/Me-Regarded: I'm telling you tards, futes are wrong and any dip will be bought. Do you smell that fear? Fear of what exactly???? You think Iran is gonna hurt you, the US or literally any company on earth? That unsettling feeling in your guts telling you freak out and sell everything? That's when you BUY! Thank me later kids. I've been trading for 143 yrs now. Pray for a 2% dip, that would be amazing [+10] u/Dull_Broccoli1637: No one here knows what they're talking about. Calls because idk [+10] u/PushAble2463: Fuck that reshare button on instagram 😩 I’m too boomer for the gram. I accidentally fatfingered and reshared a reel of some tattoed onlyfans girl stretching in her underwear on a couch. Luckily found out how to erase it, but I have no idea how many people saw it before that. [+10] u/bearhunter429: #Mark Cuban sweating bullets because we might go after Cuba next LMAO🤌 [+10] u/Ljocran: sold my 50k 10x gold and 50k in oxy shares last monday because I thought US didnt attack over the weekend so it wont happen. bought novo instead im so retarded [+10] u/Urzuck: Just one hour until bols fuk [+10] u/Montyprice7206: Bin Laden had copies of final fantasy 7 and Resident Evil on his computer Wonder what we find out the ayatollah was into? [+10] u/spudbro00: I feel like I know what Iran is going thru right now. I just got my cheeks clapped on battlefield 6 and it wasn’t even close [+10] u/whitewashedsyrian: Whoever’s going to replace khamenei is going to make him look like a pacifist 😂😂 [+10] u/Purpletorque: Live Oil trading starts at 6:00 PM EST today in just a little over 40 minutes. Brian Sullivan on CNBC said that there are ships on the both sides of the Straight of Hormuz just sitting there waiting for orders to go through. Reports are that Loyds and other insurers have refused to insure any ships trying to go through so it is not known what will happen and when. He said the market can withstand a 1 or 2 day delay here but more than that, it will be a problem as about 30% of the worlds oil, gas, liquified natural gas, chemicals and fertilizers flow through there. Concerns are that Iran or the Houthis will fire upon ships or perhaps they might lay down some WW2 style mines along this 21 mile wide body of water. [+10] u/CUbuffGuy: 30 min til you get to feel that pit in your stomach as your calls turn to dust [+10] u/Kabrosif: Anyone trying to trade this event is truly regarded. Puts and Calls will be a big fail. Don’t become exit liquidity you dummies. Just sit back and watch the fireworks. [+10] u/The_BakedCrusader: The year is 2036. Bibi Netanyahu is still Prime Minister of Israel and addresses the people of the United States. "Iran is just weeks away from building a nuclear device", he says. Senators Lindsay Graham and Holden Bloodfeast appear on Fox news, emphatically stressing another regime change in Iran. [+10] u/CPA-hole: It’s been a pleasure serving with you gentlemen [+10] u/Aggressive_Bit_91: Oil drops 3+% in a minute lmao [+10] u/i_goon_to_tomboys___: believe it or not, calls [+10] u/orangeyougladiator: Let’s laugh at all the regards still in the weekend thread before they get here [+10] u/kazkeb: Trump's war room this weekend pretty much looks like my buddies getting together for a fantasy football draft [+10] u/Initial_Ad_9250: Buy strangles . Market will move but it will move in a direction opposite to what you think [+10] u/kazkeb: Polymarket has about a 85% chance that the market opens down tomorrow, which tells me that it will open in the green... Because there are even bigger suckers/retards on Polymarket than there are here [+10] u/HandsomeTod11: I wonder if people will still bring their kids to the White House Easter egg hunt. Throw them right into Epstein layer lol [+10] u/artandambition: Wait guys the areola was bombed, holy shit? [+9] u/Empty-Measurement464: Nothing is more annoying than you regards saying “bers LMAO” [+9] u/Thin_Cat8817: I'm over here stroking my dick I got lotion on my dick right now I'm just stroking my shit I'm horny as fuck man I'm a freak man like [+9] u/GoZukkYourself: r/valueinvesting would have been buying VCR companies back in the 90s because the fundamentals looked good. [+9] u/Unh0lyCatf1sh: tankers avoiding Hormuz like women avoid me at the club [+9] u/Urzuck: OH GOD CHINA IS ATTACKING TAIWAN, just joking, wanted to scare some bols. [+9] u/Pojihut: they always wait till the weekend, eh? [+9] u/orangeyougladiator: Just a reminder that futures have options so you don’t have to wait for spy to open to get your bets in [+9] u/DualGemini: I swear theres an agenda to make WSB buy puts. This week is definitely green dildos. [+9] u/Sudden-Smoke-8377: lol Epstein just faqed the whole Middle East and he is a dead dude...can you imagine [+9] u/necarpenter417: Just got out of my friday blackout. Anything interesting happen this weekend? [+9] u/Val44x: Futures don’t matter because the future just becomes the present [+9] u/Unh0lyCatf1sh: has anybody contacted Kid Rock for his assessment on the current situation in the Middle East? [+9] u/jsie-iaiqhsi816278: yall take yourselves way too seriously SPY 1000 EOY [+9] u/CapControl: FUTURES UP 3.1% LMAO!!! FUTURES UP 3.1% LMAO!!! FUTURES UP 3.1% LMAO!!! scaring bers lol [+9] u/glazedds: gold is about to start futing [+9] u/babyd42: No movement, just like Venezuela. Nothing ever happens to the market unless anthropic makes a public guide to building fighter jets with Claude [+9] u/OpeDefinitely: Hellen Keller would be furious if she saw this shit. [+9] u/Marcostbo: Just watched the CEO video Puts on MCD [+9] u/DrSOGU: I'm gonna buy the dip tomorrow. Panic at open, everything red, then slow recovery over the coming two weeks. Always the same 🥱 [+9] u/Doclub29: Currently staying in Peru without any good internet connection while I have lots of calls expiring in march 💀 [+9] u/Spanisbro2: ARRRR PIRATE PORTFOLIO. GOLD AND SILVER COINS. AHOOOY SCALLYWAGS🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️🏴‍☠️ [+9] u/GamblingMikkee: OIL GOLD SILVER all up like 40% YTD - god bless commodities and suck it QQQ [+9] u/KittyLover-7: Please don’t kill tech, it’s dead already [+9] u/CPA-hole: 9 minutes until my life has meaning again [+9] u/NativePlant870: lol -0.9%. Green by open [+9] u/claytondpark: I thought, everyone said, "IRAN IS PRICED IN" WTF [+9] u/tinydisaster: Israel is cutting off camera feeds overlooking the cities [+9] u/Slightlybadpicks: How do I buy oil futures?! Even before that, how do I fucking look at the oil futures?!??? [+9] u/the_mind_goblin1: i've seen worse futures on a random wednesday evening. yawn [+9] u/Moepenmoes: Shiny rocks are back on the menu boys [+9] u/Moepenmoes: Why the fuck is Cramer not saying anything? What the fuck am I supposed to do tomorrow??? [+9] u/random120604: Does anyone geniunely actually believe it’s going to be green tomorrow? Why the fuck would it be green 🤣 [+9] u/Long_Youth_893: 1 hour until you’re poor [+9] u/Ok_Information_4137: comment above is gay bol [+9] u/small_dogs_rock: ...he thinks all soldiers are suckers... [+9] u/Not_constant_witness: This guys definitely going 0 for 3 [+8] u/Thotmas01: Open the casino. Let us see the oil trader Olympics. [+8] u/NotMe357: Now TACO expected that the Iran War will last 4 weeks lol [+8] u/kaapooj: find someone that works for u as tirelessly as Europe does for the US and Israel [+8] u/VirgillMastercard: Blowing bubba and blowing bibi [+8] u/Small-Passage2210: Hey taco, you rlly think Iran boutta be interested in a ceasefire after u blew their leader into 345 pieces? [+8] u/GoZukkYourself: Have you ever seen a ber weep violently? Check in tomorrow. [+8] u/NativePlant870: -1% is nothing really. Could be green by open [+8] u/swamp_donkies: I want everyone who’s buying calls to comment below so I can personally message you tomorrow to remind you why you’re a dumbfuck [+8] u/graavejrsdag: US TECH 100 WEEKEND FUTURES DOWN 1.2% RN, lets all panic!!! [+8] u/graavejrsdag: https://preview.redd.it/h0g3qehf1img1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=de2daf9e581a25dfa7edf3825540c25f1b76ec0c [+8] u/systerix: Gosh i can't wait for the markets to open so i can lose more money [+8] u/music_is_gud: Bircuit Creaker tomorrow [+8] u/GuiltyShirt3771: Well look like we bols are fucked, thank your attention to the matter [+8] u/PapiGoneGamer: [He’s right…](https://x.com/radarhits/status/2028137010355925201?s=46) [+8] u/GreenGameboyColor: I got a bad feeling no matter how futures open, Microsoft will be down $10 minimum tomorrow 😔 [+8] u/Domethegoon: A federal judge just overturned the Supreme leader’s death. Puts. [+8] u/Crazy_Donkies: Trump will be on his fake Twitter in the next 12 hours to pump the market.  There's a reason they started it Friday.  Set a remindme. [+8] u/frogboyjr: 2% gap down into green by open [+8] u/vanceraa: the oil mean reversion is going to be violent [+8] u/Sudden-Smoke-8377: I hope TSA dudes are now getting more serious...I dont want fly directly to my hotel room [+8] u/All_FIREdUp: Got gas today so I could fill up for $45 instead of $49. It’s called financial health idiot, look it up. [+8] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: Buy the dip fa>!tass!< [+8] u/215aPhillyiated: Gold flyingggg my boy let’s get it [+8] u/kaapooj: traveling became a lot unsafer thank u trump and netanyahu [+8] u/dooosayn: If it’s not a circuit breaker is it even red? [+8] u/katrav86: If I buy stocks at the stock market tomorrow will they retain their value? my plan is to sell those stocks I buy for a profit.. that's why i am asking [+8] u/hallett21: BTC down 20% on the year and you’re gonna use it as copium for your calls? [+8] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: T minus 40 minutes until red futes [+8] u/mr_stupid_face: I am tired of bulls calling bears morons and bears calling bulls idiots. I am here to settle it. Your both right. [+8] u/NYGiants181: Every fucking Sunday night there is so much anxiety seriously this shit is so annoying. Cant we just have one normal fucking week??????! [+8] u/hallett21: As long as you say “not to get too political” before you say some off the wall shit you’re in the clear as far as HR is concerned. [+8] u/Antique_Cabinet8416: bulls sucking the last juice out of their delulu pack before the battery dies [+8] u/jsie-iaiqhsi816278: Claude overtaking ChatGPT in the app store is recessionary no one cares that the US bombed their 694th country this year [+8] u/PaperHandsTheDip: The reason we're red tomo, pretty in depth DD: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIpfWORQWhU&t=52s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIpfWORQWhU&t=52s) 🇮🇷, 🇮🇷 so far away, and 🇮🇷, 🇮🇷 all night and day [+8] u/hv876: I dont care what the market does tomorrow, I am already mad that whatever it does, I’ll somehow end up with the opposite position [+8] u/EatMaTesticles: When the homeless man is begging me for money but I'm in the same financial situation just with a harder fit 🥺 [+8] u/Rick_12345: If I down vote a presidential speech on the official White House YouTube channel, should I expect a visit from the secret service or ICE? [+8] u/This_Huckleberry_473: Good old Donny T, too much winning. My port is gonna look like Tehran tomorrow. [+8] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: It’s been 26+ years. Are we ever gonna move on from middle east? Seems like this will continue till end of times [+8] u/Sharp_Mistake_3119: Hey guys, I don't normally beg, but I have been to 3 different stores and no luck so far. But I can't imagine the pain tomorrow, so money is not an issue. Anyway, does anyone have some lube to spare? [+8] u/Money_Term8366: Wow unsurprisingly the situation is getting wildly out of control who would’ve ever guessed???? [+8] u/dontbelievejustwatch: WTI Futures will likely be between $0 and $420.69 a barrel on the open. subscribe to my substack for more [+8] u/duddnddkslsep: 6 minutes until bears start crying [+8] u/SmallBigMANhaha: Izrayel starts a war and all of its western dogs come defending it in less than two days. Crazy how much the chosen people have these western pedos by the balls. [+8] u/Emilio___Molestevez: GOLD FUTES WHERE THE FUCK YOU GOING [+8] u/GamblingMikkee: Oil already down 😭😭😭 [+8] u/Arnab_Goswami_RTV: GLD SLV mooning on fake futes, lets go! [+8] u/lysergalien: SPY will be at 9000 before Fidelity learns how to make an app that works [+8] u/Neader: Already starting to v lmao [+8] u/yeahyoubored: is there a polymarket bet if there’s another mass casualty on US soil? Ohio..Austin..DC…? [+8] u/hallett21: I can’t tell if you’re all legitimately retarded or not. Where in the fuck do you see green happening lol [+7] u/CapControl: the collective GUH at 8 am tomorrow I stand with thee fellow europoors [+7] u/Venom17645: do not believe the futes, do not sell ANYTHING. Protect the economy this is your OBLIGATION as american citizens [+7] u/AshamedImagination50: Bulls went from spy700 monday to flat monday. Smh [+7] u/ConstantAd1: TRUMP: "I am preparing to deliver a speech about the attacks on Iran." [+7] u/Moepenmoes: Lesson learned: Always pull out before the weekend [+7] u/moorhound: >During the Iran-Iraq war, Basij members volunteered and were deployed to the front lines. They were encouraged to undertake “martyrdom missions”, wherein they would clear minefields in “human waves” to clear the battlefield for more experienced soldiers to advance. And we thought these guys would fold over a weekend lmao [+7] u/bearhunter429: #How is gold and silver doing in international markets? LMAO🤌 [+7] u/Unassisted3P: Less than 2 hours before I can look at the squigly lines again thank God. [+7] u/kaapooj: again US shows it has no democracy, the president can act without repercussions [+7] u/random120604: Anyway this moron keeps invading shit and doing crap with no coherent plan. It worked in Venezuela cos it was insignificant. But Iran, does he realise if they keep the straight closed it could have an inflation shock worse than the Ukraine war [+7] u/Mighty-HeaIthy: Berhunter predicted this [+7] u/PushAble2463: I’m 20 % in cash I’ve been waiting to shove into the market, also loaded to the absolute tip of my cock in oil stocks and leveraged brent oil certs. My MSFT shares will probably get killed, but they’ve been getting hammered for no apparent reason lately anyways…and my index funds will take a hit too, but I mean c’mon. I’m actually in a quite good position for once. Way better than most Iranian officials at least. [+7] u/Locke_____Lamora: It's going to be an absolute bloodbath in here tomorrow no matter which direction it goes lol [+7] u/ddrsdght: What is Jared Kushner’s end game [+7] u/connortravels: Is it weird that my co-worker randomly and frequently texts me on slack saying "I am choking my chicken on this meeting rn" [+7] u/Sudden-Smoke-8377: lol Donnie really thought missile one guy and the rest will take over [+7] u/Sudden-Smoke-8377: yo crypto Bros in Dubai...I dare you to do a selfie with an incoming missile? Lol [+7] u/jonneh: Four weeks?? Holy fuck boys, I have to hit the eject button ASAP on my calls # **EJECTO SEATO CUZ** 😭 # > 🥭 told the Daily Mail during an interview early Sunday that the ongoing conflict with Iran is expected to last roughly four weeks, stating that, “It's always been a four-week process. We figured it will be four weeks or so. It's always been about a four-week process so - as strong as it is, it's a big country, it'll take four weeks - or less.” [+7] u/FreonJunkie96: Gonna go for a run to clear my head before the shit show unfolds. [+7] u/mr_stupid_face: Hey if you within draft age that is great that your still young. Weold people have your back and will take care of your mom [+7] u/Independent-Assist13: Guys u think my Amazon calls are cooked [+7] u/Applesauce9210: It’ll be green and the VIX will spike. Sending calls to the moon. [+7] u/dylanx5150: Volatility could be wild this week. [+7] u/OrdinaryMix4013: Holy fuck sleepy and the black guy would have been impeached for saying this shite wow [+7] u/Long_Youth_893: If you think spy will be green you can 8x your money by betting on it [+7] u/Moepenmoes: Put me in a coma and wake me up once the market goes back up [+7] u/SuspiciousStable9649: Amazon's cloud unit reports fire after objects hit UAE data center Reuters | 03/01/2026, 15:30:30 Update: Fire department cut power, takes a few hours to turn power back on. They have redundant areas, probably not a big deal. [+7] u/Sharp_Design_119: Shrek dick by open no matter what [+7] u/Antiwhippy: So like really.  Did any of this had to happen. [+7] u/Cold_Distribution273: Sold my vix calls for a loss Friday, lucky me. [+7] u/hallett21: Lmfao BTC was the bulls last hope [+7] u/kaapooj: euro already down 0.37% against usd [+7] u/Mysterious-Device-53: 18 minutes until we know exactly who's fuk tomorrow. Jk, futes are meaningless for the following day [+7] u/dontbelievejustwatch: Checklist for futures open: - popcorn - water / Gatorade - wife and boyfriend out of sight in the bedroom [+7] u/Val44x: Futures going flat by open would be prettt funny tbh [+7] u/JanetYellenNudes: Hey Alexa play war pigs. [+7] u/CriticalBlackberry90: I'm not even going to look at futes. Going to try to guess what they are based on the comments here. [+7] u/spudbro00: Futures trading tonight gonna be 🔥 [+7] u/SmallBigMANhaha: SILVER SILVER SILVER [+7] u/TJMBeav: Ten year under 4%. 😳 [+7] u/Emilio___Molestevez: by my expert calculations a -1% futes works out to a -17% in my portfolio [+7] u/crawlerstone: Fml. Natural gas only up 1.65%. [+7] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: I LOVE SHINY ROCKS THANK YOU GOD [+7] u/Urzuck: Bols celebrating a -1% at futes just open was not on my bingo card [+7] u/ewzetf: China should take Taiwan asap while the burgers' carriers are busy in the middle east [+7] u/Kingmusk420: GREEN BY OPEN 🇺🇸 🇺🇸 🇺🇸. [+7] u/Harvey_beauchamp: Wait my gld and slv are not cook, lfg. JUST LIKE THE SIX EYES PREDICTED 🤌🏽🤌🏽🤌🏽 [+7] u/Few_Egg3567: "he dead like dog" - 🥭 [+7] u/TreGet234: Shaking with excitement waiting for futures. Though i'm already numb to everything. Don't even feel like doing speculative plays. [+7] u/Fineous40: Full port into oil. Meaning, I am emptying my port into my bank account so I can fill my car with gas because that shit gunna be expensive. [+7] u/27onfire: I pray that most of yall are bots.. the comments about the war not affecting the market in multiple threads are hilarious. 'Flat, priced in, nothingburger.' We gonna be red and you know what I don't have any puts nor shorts of any kind but if you retards don't think we're gonna be red at open tomorrow then you don't deserve the dimes you roll into the market. [+7] u/FFElite93: This opening flat and oil only up 2% would be the funniest thing [+7] u/BettyRedHerring: I’m not scared. Open the fucking casino! [+7] u/Nefarious_AI_Agent: Are we the baddies? LMFAO [+7] u/WrappedRocket: Is this financial advice? [+7] u/McKoijion: Iran was a secular democracy until Britain and the US overthrew the government and installed a monarch in 1953. [+7] u/Excel_Spreadcheeks69: Look in the mirror, you won’t find one. [+6] u/Trendkill4583: Whatever gets nvda to 200 🤷‍♂️ [+6] u/GoZukkYourself: There has never been unrest in the Middle East before. How will the markets react 🤔 [+6] u/Most_Lingonberry_409: I’m guessing it’s going to dip for like a couple hours then PUMP [+6] u/ercanbas: I’ll clear half a mil off of $4k if SPY is down 10% tomorrow. [+6] u/Emilio___Molestevez: my wife is too hot for me to be fat AND poor so my moves tomorrow are exercises [+6] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: Feel like my international etfs will get destroyed and my gold and Oil holdings will go up creating a net zero (this is my bull case) [+6] u/CapControl: remember to panic sell tomorrow, its very important for trump and his cronies [+6] u/No-Paint-5726: Iran's new leadership already open to talking. We Gucci boys. [+6] u/VirgillMastercard: Market is going to be so fucked tomorrow! [+6] u/KindlyTie6602: I’m always so surprised when a “financial news” article quotes a retread on here. Like anyone here should be quoted for anything. Only thing this board is good for is poisoning AI training and setting back AGI 10 years [+6] u/NoCollegeKids: PLTR should go up, right???  That company is all about war. [+6] u/BullTrucker9: If you say priced in enough then it'll be true [+6] u/niceguy897: I wonder how much AI achieved in targeting iranian command chain. It surely analyzed data regarding their location. [+6] u/LostandConfused2024: I asked chatgpt to write a comment from the perspective of a fucking schizoid and it got 10 upvotes in 5 minutes. Take that information to understand that you should never fucking trust DD here [+6] u/StocksStormTrooper: Reports of $6000 oz for Gold in China…. dang!!!🚀🚀🚀 [+6] u/HandsomeTod11: First country to build a nuke that runs on olive oils wins [+6] u/hettygreentypebeat: i’m so emotionally exhausted that i don’t even want to look at market open, this is how you know it’s serious [+6] u/Worried_Quarter469: As of Sunday afternoon in Iran, just six tankers used to carry energy products had traveled through the strait, down from 65 on Friday, according to S&P Global Energy’s Commodities at Sea. [+6] u/Frozen_Shades: If ayatollah once, ayatollah a thousand times.....never buy puts. [+6] u/DrummerCompetitive20: Every geopolitical conflict in history has been a buy the dip [+6] u/ReelGoated: eveyb on this damn app is screaming calls lol. this is great news for my TQQQ puts 📉 [+6] u/KittyLover-7: Oil spiking so is dubai chocolate CPI coming in at 200% [+6] u/Sudden-Smoke-8377: Donnie just grabbed all the value investory by the pussy [+6] u/Montyprice7206: Guys Iran is going to pay for us to bomb them 🤌 [+6] u/Antique_Cabinet8416: open the slaughterhouse [+6] u/jacked2datitz: i wish my bags werent this heavy [+6] u/Eastern-Joke-7537: So where can I trade the pre-pre-markets? [+6] u/Long_Youth_893: The one time I don’t buy puts we break out of 680 bruh [+6] u/BullTrucker9: Mount up bears, we attack in less than an hour [+6] u/orangeyougladiator: I heard 99% of blockbuster share holders visit /r/valueinvesting [+6] u/Sudden-Smoke-8377: # Amazon's cloud unit reports fire after objects hit UAE data center [https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/amazons-cloud-unit-reports-fire-202852184.html](https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/amazons-cloud-unit-reports-fire-202852184.html) at least one bulish news today [+6] u/Worried_Quarter469: First Iran World Cup game this summer is June 15, I’m sure it will be fine [+6] u/jda823: Iran has lost half their missile launchers already. I can't imagine they will have many for long. USA/Israel has full control of the skies now.  https://www.nytimes.com/2026/03/01/world/middleeast/iran-missile-launchers.html [+6] u/rcantu314: Corn pricing in world peace [+6] u/BerryExpress: is there anything that man wont do to keep us off the files? [+6] u/AliceNullptr: PANIC 📉📉📉📉📈📈📉📉📈📉📈📉📉📉 [+6] u/ercanbas: I can’t believe some of you think we’ll be green tomorrow lmao [+6] u/SaaSGrass: WILL ONE OF YOU BIG BRAIN BER CUCKS EXPLAIN TO THE REST OF THE CLASS HOW YOU’RE SO SURE THAT THE MARKET WILL BE RED TOMORROW? [+6] u/ebfeebfe: I've seen this before. You're not contemplating the appropriate amount of retardation in markets. If SPY opens red, I'll resign to r/investing for nine months. [+6] u/Content_Rest_2361: Can’t wait for the ber bloodbath [+6] u/DrSpaceman575: sell vix calls suckers [+6] u/Ok-Piano8789: its insane how many ships there are everywhere like holy shit lmao [+6] u/Able-Translator1776: Oil Tanker stocks are the play for the next couple weeks as shipping become congested in the Middle East [+6] u/Aromatic-Ad-6244: How will dubai market their scammy real estate projects now? [+6] u/Kachowxboxdad: Any oil stock opening in Robinhood overnight at 8pm below an increase of 10% is probably a buy right? And airlines are fucked? [+6] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: picked the wrong day to stop giving a shit about futes [+6] u/Coinifyquestion: This is an official u/cashflow_ announcement [+6] u/Valkorion335786: Military looking at my BF6 K/D ratio to determine if I should be drafted [+6] u/Ok_Rent5670: Rddt will be -6% tomorrow [+6] u/TomorrowSavings7579: I like my beer like I like my women.... warm! [+6] u/Not_constant_witness: In about 15 mins or so we get to find out who’s smart and who’s retarded [+6] u/Nearby-Lab0: Imagine the incoming asset inflation coming when we get bogged down in the Middle East again while JPOW is also replaced LMAO [+6] u/cannythecat: Iran has 12 minutes to surrender or bol in trouble [+6] u/ewzetf: won't worry about healthcare muricans, you'll never have it, just inject ozempic and freedom into your veins [+6] u/Skylake1987: Advice for all the stressing regards. It does not matter how futures open. It’s low volume and easy to manipulate. All that matters in 930am tomorrow. [+6] u/RegardedCalls: I'm lubed up and ready to watch the silver charts in 8 minutes [+6] u/ewzetf: some of you guys are good guys, listen to me and listen carefully go to your nearest grocery store and buy TP, before it is too late [+6] u/tombrady011235: This is the greatest buying opportunity in a generation [+6] u/NeighborhoodDry1821: Oh but the weekend Dow means nothing? Literally spot on regards [+6] u/the_mind_goblin1: 1%? i wipe my ass with 1% [+6] u/MarginCalledManager: CL oil futures bid/ask are almost $75 lmao [+6] u/Val44x: WHAT A WEEKEND FOR THIS BER TO PLAY IT SAFE AND NOT HAVE PUTS REEEEEEE [+6] u/Bichael-Murry: SIR A SECOND TALIBAN JUST HIT THE FUTES [+6] u/mugirawraw: We are only down .6% from fridays AH [+6] u/Fact-Resident: Bers really thought this wasn’t priced in lmao [+6] u/mtnrnnr802: I was told it was priced in [+6] u/tinydisaster: Lebanon is now launching into Israel [+6] u/Crazy_Donkies: Context: We were down 3.4% premarket after liberation day. [+6] u/CEOofBeanz: BREAKING NEWS: THERE ARE MEN WITH VITAMIN D DEFICIENCY AND HIGH ESTROGEN DUMPING STONKS [+6] u/WallofNarwhal: This consensus in this sub of saying “green by open” is how you know tomorrow is red LOL [+6] u/jda823: MMs have clear orders from the man up top to keep this shit stable [+6] u/SadDevelopment3049: Very obvious most of the people in here have never experienced the impact of a real war, or an actual recession for that matter [+6] u/theummeower: So market crashes on Monday? [+6] u/According-Page8618: on june 13 we started -0,5% and ended the day +1% btw. also after it ended we went on a +6% 2 day run [+6] u/GTS980: Is it joever tomorrow? [+6] u/rocier: flat market. boner killer for everyone [+6] u/ToroLoco_TL: Holy shit behalf the sub is saying full port calls the other half is saying full port puts, tomorrow will be a mess extinction event here for sure [+6] u/Various-Tangerine-88: Ditch the stupid disrespectful trucker cap you filthy anus. This isn't a bowling alley. [+6] u/DeliciousAdvisor8132: Please god let us shrek dick [+6] u/Unlikely_Brilliant87: One effective strike from Iran and it’ll send the market to the depths of the earth, at this rate looks like a bloody Monday, plus we needed a correction anyways [+6] u/Virtual_Secretary_98: How can you track the USD? [+6] u/orsomeshitidk: Yall mean and not very good looking [+6] u/215aPhillyiated: Time to get hella stoned one more hour till the fun starts [+6] u/LostandConfused2024: Kids? In this economy? [+5] u/music_is_gud: Yikes weekend oil is spiking every 15 mins... [+5] u/nhalas: Shiny metals lets go [+5] u/orangeyougladiator: I wish I had a photographic memory so I could remember every delusional take over the weekend and go back and laugh at them. Some of them are on par with that weekend a month ago when retards started citing Indian futures for silver [+5] u/ComfortablePiglet842: Weekend dow just dropped again guh [+5] u/kaapooj: funny how the hague just imprisons poor war criminals [+5] u/CAN_ONLY_ODD: 3.9M degenerates as of now - I’m betting end of this week 10% of yall get wiped out and we end at 3.5 [+5] u/Xenonstrike: Puts will print. Buy at open from the fake green dildo [+5] u/2020isgreat: Do people still think this is all priced in ahahah [+5] u/Professional_Con_007: Bers acting like this is ww3 or something calm down already [+5] u/Valkorion335786: Ayatollah will rise from the rubble after 7 days just like another religious figure with a beard 👀 [+5] u/AConsciousApe: Silver and gold about to print money. NVDA about to rape my asshole. [+5] u/Sharp-Direction-6894: I'm going to work. As usual. Will probably lose money in the stock market. As usual. [+5] u/cashflow_: IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT GUYS IT IS WITH HEAVY HEART THAT I MUST ANNOUNCE THAT DUE TO CURRENT WORLD CURRENT EVENTS I CAN NO LONGER SHITPOST FRIVILOUSLY. WE ARE IN A TIMEOF WAR AND WE MUST SHOW STRENGTH AND POWER NOT MEMES AND JOKES. TAKE CARE AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU ALL ALSO I WOULD LIKE TO REMIND EVERYONE THAT YOU STILL CANT USE MY CATCHPHRASES OR GIVE CASHFLOW UPDATES ONLY IM ALLOWED [+5] u/Sudden-Smoke-8377: oil 200 bros...i have filled my tank today..and the rest I will keep in jerry cans [+5] u/Eastern-Joke-7537: Note to self: postpone spring break trip to Dubai. [+5] u/youyololiveonce: Who else is anxious as fuck [+5] u/ThouOne: Uhh, aren’t we supposed to see a Taco by now? [+5] u/Thebaxxxx: Made 600 bucks on spy puts 😏 [+5] u/kaapooj: imagine as a UK/French/German soldier dying serving the interest of a country that wants to take parts of Europe by force [+5] u/McKoijion: Khamenei’s death doesn’t seem to be blunting the response. Maybe he was just an 86 year old figurehead after all. https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c75evve6l63o [+5] u/WendyDumpsterFire: I’m so broke I can’t afford rope ☹️ [+5] u/inconsistentsavant: So, the US started a war with a skeleton crew and most of its senior agents and org knowledge gone. What could go wrong? Calls on gold. [+5] u/No-Improvement3164: I’m selling the 600p for June and buying the 560. [+5] u/TechnologyEven6926: Ice Cream is the cure to everything [+5] u/Just_Function_7040: I’d support 100% stock market closure here in the US for the next 2 days as a heavy owner of many calls [+5] u/LaserBeamer17: RTX, NOC, LMT with a dash of AVAV and KTOS [+5] u/Eazy100s_: Watch my shit plummet [+5] u/GoZukkYourself: Largest one day increases in Brent Oil (not including Covid) 9/16/2019: 14.6% (Abqaiq attack) 8/6/1990: 14.05% (Kuwait invasion) 3/23/1998: 13.77% (OPEC output cut) 1/7/1991: 13.71% (Desert Storm) 1/14/1991: 13.63% (Desert Storm) [+5] u/Salty-Bid1597: Imagine actions having consequences [+5] u/savingstrainagain: Unfortunately if we go red tomorrow my trading career will become a Wendy’s career [+5] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: I feel like the admin bragging about the stock market highs non stop is too perfect of a setup before a crash for meme purposes and therefore bound to happen [+5] u/Moepenmoes: 1 hour until blood red futes [+5] u/cryptohorn: Iran is a reel big cuntry brosef [+5] u/-IQ200: OSRS bond at 52 week low. Venezuela really must not be doing well. [+5] u/jsie-iaiqhsi816278: +0.0% open or more likely -0.0% open [+5] u/Sick0h: Admit it EU, feels a lil good to put some of that higher defense spending to work [+5] u/orangeyougladiator: This week there is gonna be some event or headline that causes a massive candle every hour. Free money. [+5] u/wildcat1055: "I'm from Buenos Aires, and I say kill 'em all!"— Johnny Rico [+5] u/hallett21: VIX at 25-30 tomorrow. [+5] u/Puzzleheaded_Bag9063: Anyone buying gld futures at 6pm? [+5] u/mayorolivia: -3% futes here we come [+5] u/NeedleworkerOne8258: It’s gonna be blood red and I have calls 🫩 [+5] u/Ok-Piano8789: basically closed [https://www.marinetraffic.com/en/ais/home/centerx:56.4/centery:26.3/zoom:9](https://www.marinetraffic.com/en/ais/home/centerx:56.4/centery:26.3/zoom:9) [+5] u/Molten-Helldiver: Apparently the temp supreme leader was ended today as well…Jesus [+5] u/Mikos_Enduro: markets gonna spike up for 30 min then rug pull, March 2 puts clean up at close [+5] u/mmmmmmmayhem: Feels more ghey ber in here. Bers def talking shiz. Up we go. [+5] u/calmoney149: Another fire sale tomorrow?? [+5] u/Carfar_Farcar: Apparent Iranian attack on an UK air base on Cyprus? That would be wild. [+5] u/Madsen13140: Overton Window at its peak [+5] u/Nearby-Lab0: Who is ready for super inflation? [+5] u/OrdinaryMix4013: Bad poll numbers means we are going to start a war [+5] u/fish_: i think it’s gonna be fine guys, ber and bol will both make enough money to retire and the world will find peace jk spy 700 by open ber fuk [+5] u/kryptonyk: CONFIRMED: B2s en route to ber portfolios [+5] u/Cardiologist_Actual: Guess who sold their long term BP play Friday 🪦 [+5] u/Moepenmoes: 25 minutes until we're fucked [+5] u/ebfeebfe: How is this not bullish CVNA? [+5] u/cinciNattyLight: Iran just hit an RAF base in Cypress [+5] u/immoyo: Yolo'd a couple grand into QQQ 605 puts at market close on Friday. I expect a violent sell off tomorrow. Maybe the contrarians will see some green this week, but definitely not tomorrow. [+5] u/MaxEhrlich: It’s times like this when I kick myself for not liquidating after getting back to green despite saying to myself how I would…I’m such a degenerate and now I’ll pay for it once again… [+5] u/BjergBetterThanFaker: im guessing complete economic collapse [+5] u/Asleep_Emphasis69: So who's next in line after Khameni....Khamenj? Khamenk? Khamenl? [+5] u/LetsGoAhoy: Should have stocked up on gas when it was negative $37 a barrel [+5] u/whitewashedsyrian: Give me volatility or give me death [+5] u/Remarkable_Owl: Born too late to die in the desert on a lie. Born too early to die in the desert on a lie. Born just in time to die in the desert on a lie. [+5] u/frogboyjr: inflation gonna go crazy with this commodity spike though [+5] u/Misaka9615: Genuinely shaking with rage that the people who bought puts into an event everybody with eyes saw coming is about to be paid out big, gonna sell my gold and all in leveraged tech [+5] u/astromouse2024: If we dump tomorrow I’m going all in on calls [+5] u/djln491: Futes will be something like Dow -1k, SnP -85, Nas -400 [+5] u/throwingitanyway: FUTURES OPEN IN TEHRAN AND [THIS GUY](https://www.reddit.com/user/me) IS SO FUCKED [+5] u/Dividedby21mil: I’m not gay. I’m straight of Hormuz. [+5] u/This_Huckleberry_473: They say buy the dip, but there’s no money to fucking buy the dip. [+5] u/Club-Loud: Most anticipated futes since Liberation day? [+5] u/Hungry-Brain-3287: Remember, no crying in the casino. Save that for Wendy's dumpster. [+5] u/ASXBae: Weekend futures = basically a poll. Lol [+5] u/Get_dat_money: i have assumed position and lubed up! [+5] u/sytena10: In a few minutes things are about to get real fake and gay [+5] u/BrandonLeeOfficial: Are you even American if your generation didn’t get a Middle Eastern conflict ? [+5] u/Little_Top3815: Ah my calls are fucked [+5] u/SuspiciousStable9649: Oil up 12% edit: now at 8-10%. First move is fake and all that. [+5] u/Majestic-Bass6772: the funniest thing is we will once again end the day flat [+5] u/jda823: Oh shit. No one cares [+5] u/ch0c0l8cake: Not low enough. Green by open [+5] u/bb483: The copium here is 👌 [+5] u/PossumImposter2: YOU GUYS TOLD ME SILVER WAS GOING TO PUMP [+5] u/SxeySteve: Military deaths from hostile action. 🥭: 68 and counting 😴:16 (unforgivable) [+5] u/Kickboy21: 2 hours until my life has meaning again [+5] u/Neader: Oh no, you're telling me tech might open -1% like it has every day this year? Ppsssshhh [+5] u/severed02: Fuck it, green by open [+5] u/darkmatter_drifter: Green opening tomorrow [+5] u/Emilio___Molestevez: I will be buying the dip on 24hr market just like I bought after-hours Friday I DO NOT FUCKING CARE [+5] u/glazedds: the iran ber market lasted 3 days LMAO [+5] u/RegardedCalls: Just your average day swing it seems. Back to masturbasting [+5] u/diamondhandsbigbands: Absolutely anticlimactic [+5] u/No_Current3675: bitches gonna fomo oil and get hurt [+5] u/Icy-Motor-8519: Lotta tards thinking futes actually matter. Real move is at 930 et tomorrow. [+5] u/SuspiciousStable9649: Wow that shit flat as hell. *nice* [+5] u/collegefootballfan69: Went to multiple Publix grocery stores and bought them out of pork and beans. I am set for the world to end. [+5] u/Fineous40: Does 8 inches mean long or short? [+5] u/cryptohorn: Above average fo sho [+5] u/OkRecommendation1040: What are you even supposed to text a girl the day after hooking up? [+5] u/kaapooj: US, Israel, UK, Germany, France: Wars of aggression are fine as long as u are not our enemy [+5] u/No_Routine_17: I really wish I had puts fuck [+5] u/lesheconazucar: Too many wins for us bears lately, SPY probably going to come back to 700 by April [+5] u/iwasshotbyatigeronce: Market has been dogshit lately., so maybe this will help get the liquidity flowing in some real direction. [+5] u/xlmtothemoon: shoe --> can --> road [+5] u/Not_constant_witness: The move is more bombs [+5] u/Montyprice7206: lol yeah fuckin nerd Iran [+5] u/Bill_Clintons_Desk5: Watch my war port moon inshallah [+5] u/AxemanFromMA: #space X rocket launch 7:34 pm tonight. Will Fly up the east cost. Look south east on the horizon [+5] u/mr_stupid_face: Beware the Ides of March…. Calls it is. [+5] u/OkRecommendation1040: I’m fine with anything as long as we get a BIG move [+5] u/skychief99: It'll be sell the news. Then continue selling. [+5] u/IntentionDeep651: this is so weak we might end monday +2% [+5] u/ch0c0l8cake: Just think of Diddy to loosen yourself [+5] u/PeterThielHasMyData: Don’t know, couldn’t care less. Post french tits. [+5] u/pm_me_yo_creditscore: Not according to the Beatles. [+5] u/Got_Engineers: Look at that five minute candle at 15:10 on bitcoin futures. That’s what the NASDAQ will look like. [+5] u/CEO-of-SOXL: He openly does pills and drugs and lives in his grandmas basement. You gotta just ignore him [+5] u/VisualMod: I didn't find any tickers for whatever the hell you just typed. [+5] u/VisualMod: **Ban Bet Created:** **/u/fuckyeahmageknight** bet **SPY** goes from **683.66** to **699.99** before **05-Mar-2026 07:35 PM EST** Their record is 0 wins and 2 losses. [**Join WSB Discord**](https://discord.gg/wsbverse) [+5] u/donfonz: I swear people jerk off while thinking about the most fear-monger-y story for the future. I'm convinced this type of thinking is a fetish at this point [+5] u/ComfortablePiglet842: The straight of hormel [+5] u/ozarkabottle: US is the main character and the rest of the world are NPCs so it's fine. [+64] u/Christiano97: BREAKING NEWS OPERATION - GREEN MONDAY OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCED [+46] u/Basis_404_: SPY: - Red past day - Red past week - Red last month - Red last 3 months - Red YTD Bulls: those bears are cooked [+42] u/ResolutionAny8159: What you people have to understand is that this is just preparation for what’s coming. Erica Kirk is pregnant with the antichrist. Candace Owen’s is actually a man and he impregnated her with the antichrist. Once Sam Altman summons the ancient AI demon, Baal, there will be four scores of pestilence and destitution. This will be the final test for humanity before the rapture. All of this is incredibly bullish for Tesla if that wasn’t obvious [+41] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Saudi Arabia aramco refinery field just hit by drones,fire and field shut down now [+41] u/Rizocon1: https://preview.redd.it/uzmx1q1nsimg1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d227baa4e7cfe4abb7384d59abfae699d7215601 [+29] u/chesapeakeripper_18: I can't believe American people voted for this clown & pedophile [+29] u/Basis_404_: *SPY* - Red past day - Red past week - Red last month - Red last 3 months - Red YTD Bulls: those bears are cooked [+28] u/MomentPrestigious180: Why tf GOOGL got dumped so hard? because they will have to redo Street View of the Middle East? [+28] u/Harp-Note: When your stock is so irrelevant that it's slightly green in this market. [+27] u/sanndman: damn. one of the missiles misfired and hit my port. WTF. [+26] u/Iknowyougotsole: The night is dark and full of 🌈🐻 [+26] u/BarbellPadawan: It’s *almost* as though 🥭 and Hagseth have no idea what they’re doing [+26] u/DesticularDorsion: Bomb a regime while they're negotiating and see if they want to negotiate after you kill their religious head. Good plan. [+26] u/SINYACHTA: Mango begging what's left of Iranian leadership for a ceasefire before markets open. What a clown 😂😂😂 [+26] u/daviper87: #**BUT I READ HERE THAT IT WAS PRICED IN** 😭 [+24] u/OwnConfidence1: Breaking- Iranian Missiles launched at Kentucky. Futures rise at the prospect Kentucky could he wiped off the map providing a net gain to the American economy. [+24] u/bluen: Rogue one was the actual only good Disney star wars [+23] u/MarginCalledMom: Netanyahu is the worst US President I’ve ever had in my lifetime [+23] u/HesFromBarrancas: “*Green by morning*” “*Short the USD*” “*NVDA 210 on earnings*” “*Trump won’t let the market go down*” “*Fed will cut anyway*” Oh yes, there has been some *spectacular* stupidity spewed over the last few days. [+23] u/Noble_Bastard: That whiny bitch screaming about the DOW being $50,000 really fucked things up for the rest of us. [+23] u/spurious_elephant: A number of fighter jets have crashed into my portfolio [+22] u/nknk_3: Hey I just realized, WSB has millions of members. I am not asking for much, if at least million of you can send me 1 dollar. I could invest it for all of us and share profit later. [+22] u/pootenanner: If you’re a maggot take your ass on over to fucking r/conservative with your hurt feelings. no one here gives a fuck about it. We make fun of shitty 🥭 calls and will do the same when a dem is in office. [+22] u/Stock_Succotash_1560: Some of you will be wounded , some of you will be maimed, and most of you will go broke But this is a sacrifice Isreal is willing to make [+21] u/BarbellPadawan: Bloomberg: “The US had identified some potential leaders to take over in regime change but those individuals were killed in the first offensive.” Lolz. Just as I predicted 🤌 [+21] u/JanGuillosThrowaway: When wallstreetbets started chanting 'it's all priced in' is when I realised my savings were gone [+21] u/A55BAG: 🥭:the aim is "freedom for the people" of Iran 🥭:maybe we can "end it in two or three days" with a deal 🥭:might be "four to five weeks", I have "three very good choices" who might take control in Iran 🥭:actually, nevermind, we killed those choices hmm not sure is it best to sell oil in the first week of the war 😅 [+20] u/bigmeatbag: Imagine dying in the middle east because Donnie likes to fuck kids. [+20] u/Perfectly_Splendid89: I'm currently in Japan and I was waiting for nikkei to open. It was bright green and I was like how... It turns out they use green for negative, red for positive. [+20] u/Prior_Counter_1847: I was okay with them bombing shopping centers and airports but amazon’s data center is over the line [+20] u/404errorabortmistake: trump’s a nonce cunt [+20] u/svpa3991: If things really get worse, it’s a good thing mango man didn’t spend the past year pissing off all US allies with tariffs nonsense so they can help… oh wait [+20] u/Noble_Bastard: A draft dodging POTUS sending young Americans to die overseas, and his voters love him for it. Make that make sense. [+20] u/Marketdeigh: Apparently war is no good for your port :/ [+20] u/Voltthrower69: You cannot put into words how stupid mango is [+19] u/gtheory1: Doesn’t look like this was priced in [+19] u/HowIsEmuWarriorTaken: Trump raped my portfolio Edit: 7 years old portfolio [+19] u/Level_Counter3062: At 5pm central tomorrow I release the unredacted names of all WSB users this weekend who claimed Monday would be green, calls at open, and bers fuk [+19] u/kemar7856: McDonald CEO won't even eat their own product [+19] u/throwawaydonaldinho: Bol coping trying to convince each other to buy will never not be funny. “Green by open” “We going back up” Yeah buddy right 😭 [+19] u/Taraih: What a pathetic drop. According to reddit I expected a massive blood day with atleast 5% down in average. This is your average tuesday whatever dump. These bears I cant bro [+19] u/davidbigham: but why did Obama do this tho [+19] u/Chad_Permabull_GOD: Netanyahu is the worst POTUS of all time, not even close [+18] u/cryptopolymath: How many millions spent to kill an 86 yr old wit a colostomy bag. [+18] u/pussinbuuts: spy has been down more on a random no news day than this wtf [+18] u/thrillho145: Bring back Biden's market [+18] u/kal14144: My port was hit by a Shahed 136 [+18] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: Don't worry pals, I'm monitoring the situation [+18] u/Status-Net2947: World war incoming and you regards talk about green by open. Delusional [+17] u/rawdigga: Bers launching ballistic missles at anyone they can reach right now [+17] u/guzzledglizzy: I just wanna be a kid again [+17] u/TYC888: looks like this is it, the famous -10% day [+17] u/Academic_Lock_1699: The Epstein files still exist, no matter the war [+17] u/ecoburner87: reading comments on here while war is breaking out makes me feel like we're a spoiled rotten empire that deserves a good decline, top signal on american empire. you guys are going to be in a field somewhere soaked in mud doing heavy labor in 10-20 years looking back on this time in the history and wonder wtf everyone was thinking while the american empire was actively dismantling itself and we handed all the feudal lords unlimited power and capital. a chunk of the population gambling and trading its remaining wealth while the ship goes down - this time in your lives will all feel like a dream [+17] u/Most-Crazy2353: The stupid orange fuck really thought Iran is Venezuela 2.0 [+17] u/Dangerous_Pie_3338: No way man this shit is rigged. Israel and 🥭 launched this war specifically to fuck the $75 call I bought last week [+17] u/borat_he_like_you: Kind of embarrassing Russia can't take Ukraine after +4 years and counting But the U.S. can take over Venezuela & Iran in under 24 hours [+16] u/Most-Crazy2353: Hes going to blame Joe Biden isn't he [+16] u/Warm-Profit-775: Iran away from my portfolio [+16] u/Concerned_Fanboy: bombing will continue until morale improves [+16] u/Level_Counter3062: Deepseek release spooked the market worse than this [+16] u/BunsMcCheeks: Why do I feel something insane is about to happen. Like earth shattering. [+16] u/Willing_Spring2736: Trump is a senile old pedophile and Khomeni was genocidal scumbag that deserved to die years ago..both of these things can be true lol..why is that so difficult for regards to understand [+16] u/AnimalIndependent: I'm gonna lose my entire portfolio at open... i'm such a clown man [+16] u/scooterhomeimprover: Where all those idiots from a few hours ago that said green by open? [+16] u/AlmightyCheesusCrust: At this rate ground troops is inevitable [+16] u/binga001: Harvard, Stanford, Mit and so many well known universities and what did Americans find to run their country... an absolute buffon lmao the lowest of the scum of any society... it's a consequence of gatekeeping education to only a privileged few. [+16] u/MasterElite1: This will be an energy shock on top of a fiscal crisis. Classic Weimar. [+16] u/daviper87: #**LMAO SPACE BAGHOLDERS OUT IN FULL FORCE “PLEASE PLEASE THESE ARE DEFENSE STOCKS, RIGHT???” 🤡🤌** [+16] u/teh_herper: Imagine if somehow, Khamenei survived like Palpatine and the Iranian government was waiting for 9:30 AM at market open to announce it [+16] u/AusConsoleGamesLFG: If you want to live nearly forever, hold a lot of calls over weekends and monitor the situation, time will slow down about 100x [+16] u/HistoricalComeBack: Night still coming in Iran, very unfortunate war, three terrorist attacks already in US … And we are here yapping “only 1%”, “ bear is fuck, bull is fuck “… Getting dumber as machines learn more than us… no future for humanity. Give it 500 additional years, tops. Bunch of people dying for nothing, US Military, children and random people even in US… Sad sad sad [+16] u/Everyday_gilbert: I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY [+16] u/leomeng: Boots on the ground is the only way. This was so poorly planed out it’d not even funny. It’s Joever for 🥭 [+15] u/Careless_Boot2233: Imagine dying in the middle east because the mossad has tapes of your president molesting little kids LMAO [+15] u/Disconn3cted: The market doesn't like that we've been shooting down our own jets [+15] u/Pioladoporcaputo: > What Are Your Moves Tomorrow 1. Go to church as soon as it opens 2. Pray for mercy and beg the gods to save my calls, promising I will never gamble again if they help me break even (I'll gamble again) [+15] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Can’t count how many weekends I thought I was gonna be rich holding puts only for this shit clown market to be green by open. I have puts. [+15] u/aaapod: SendBarron trending on twitter 🤣 [+15] u/mstranonymous: At this point I feel like nukes could fly and the market would just end up flat [+15] u/VillageDull952: Everybody saying bears are fucked like their calls didn't just theta decay into the ground over the weekend, even if it only opens 0.5% red, you're fucked more than the bears [+15] u/BurnAllTheMKIVs: Does anyone else google their stock prices so they don’t have to see how red their position is [+15] u/_dudehangsdong: Oh fuck this is actually bad [+15] u/Icy-Leave-9111: They are saying war for up to 4 weeks, March gonna be brutal [+15] u/tandoori_taco_cat: imagine electing a failed reality tv host [+15] u/DesignerSea494: Holy crap it worked. I don’t even remember the name of that dude who didn’t kill himself. On account of I’m broke now, and my kid gets to go to war in the Middle East like I did 20 years ago. [+15] u/Voltthrower69: The funny part is mango thinks he’s doing a great job and that he’s on a roll [+15] u/drakilian: Market down so bad you'd think Nvidia somehow released a second earnings report for this quarter [+15] u/aftherith: Judging by this chat they must have reopened the Strait of Homoz [+15] u/nyse25: I am something of a Standard and Poor myself [+15] u/GodLevelRedditor: Update: the cheapest one way flight from JFK to Tehran is now $272 and you immediately become a billionaire when you land [+15] u/SaiyanApe17: where was the guy who said he was screenshotting all the bulls celebrating yesterday, I wanna see the screenshots [+15] u/Overall-Fold-9720: >ISRAELI OFFICIALS SAY AFTER IRAN, TURKEY IS NOW SEEN AS THE NEXT MAJOR THREAT TO THEIR EXISTENCE Boys, we in for a long time, not a good time [+15] u/Throwawayforyoink1: Largest oil refinery in SA is on fire btw [+15] u/GoochPhilosopher: Imagine if semen was white instead of red lmao [+15] u/boringfantasy: Entire market will be green cause everyone is a bit stupid [+15] u/Samjabr: Unless futures are +/- 2%, it’s essentially a coin flip by open. [+14] u/LongHealth: Women: “why don’t men wanna date anymore” Because if we want emotional highs and lows where we get fucked randomly, we have the market. [+14] u/AnimalIndependent: If we are red tmrw, I might have to get a job... [+14] u/Tay_Tay86: The us economy and people cannot handle a 2nd bout of inflation in the same decade. Economy is going to fold [+14] u/spacegrab: Someone here said buy calls so on Friday I bought puts 5min before market close. lmao [+14] u/FullCopy: Khameni’s RTO policy is what did him in. He insisted all senior leadership to be present at the staff meeting on Sat. No Teams call, no exception. [+14] u/Usedillusion7: The wsb permabull is the dumbest most gullible group of degenerates and deserve what's to come. [+14] u/ConsiderationKey1658: #well at least the good news is >!____________!< [+14] u/Happy-n-Healthy: It's hard to believe Greenland is proving harder to beat than Venezula, Iran and Cuba. [+14] u/daviper87: 🥭 lost an F15 fighter jet too now. So much winning [+14] u/ComprehensiveKiwi489: Not gonna lie, I thought today wouldn't be too bad. That was until I saw that Iran started attacking the Saudi's oil infrastructure (now they're shutting down their biggest refinery). [+14] u/OrangMiskin: It’s going to open red and close red, retards. [+14] u/Disconn3cted: This is your last chance to get a payday loan to buy this dip and escape debt and poverty [+14] u/hioman01: Freak the fuck out and sell your house to avoid margin call [+14] u/Bliqe: Gentlemen, It's over. [+14] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Some guy on here probably gonna turn $1,000 into $1 mil this month. Real outlier might be $10 mil. But this much volatility gonna be great. Also some guy on here gonna go from $10 mil to $1,000… let’s not forget that guy. [+14] u/SeaweedOnly7656: Why is everyone talking about an V when I still see deep red [+13] u/borat_he_like_you: I'm a CIA Analyst. We hit Iran as a preemptive strike before Iran could strike our U.S. sex robot facilities & infrastructure. [+13] u/Blackhole_sun81: Absolute crickets from the crypto bros 😂 😂 [+13] u/modder9: Where are all those bullish comments from Saturday morning lmao [+13] u/Numerous-Stand-1841: Lol already recovering. Ber r fuk [+13] u/rdr31: Khameini was priced in. Bers r Fuk [+13] u/SmarterThanWSBMods: If it opens red, buy. If it opens green, sell. [+13] u/BarbellPadawan: Bloomberg: “Iran will not negotiate with the US.” Just as I predicted 🤌 [+13] u/Alarming_Ad_5946: US embassy in Kuwait just hit; an F-15 shot down [+13] u/ImadeJesusLaugh: carnage will happen as soon as Xi decides to take back Taiwan during this Epstein War [+13] u/modder9: I am not concern for bol. They were very annoying yesterday. [+13] u/WombatShwambat: They really had to call it Operation Epic Fury when we all know it’s really Operation Epstein Files [+13] u/mitch-22-12: I know the Middle East is always nuts but has there ever been this many countries being bombed at once? [+13] u/Country_Gravy420: Big refinery in Saudi Arabia for hit and ARAMCO said they are shutting it down [+13] u/daviper87: #**LMAO 🥭 DESPERATELY TRYING TO 🌮 AFTER HIS SUCKER PUNCH BUT EVERYONE IS BASHING THE LAUNCH BUTTONS 😂🤌** [+13] u/NewComplaint2065: where are the fucking avengers when you need them [+13] u/Other_Sample_3709: I just want my circuit breaker. It’s been six years. 😓 [+13] u/daviper87: # LMAO 🥭 TRIED TO 🌮 BUT GOT PLAYED BY BIBI AND IRAN 🤡 [+13] u/ArcDogRob: Per U.S. Centcom: “Three U.S. F-15s mistakenly shot down by Kuwaiti air defenses” Oopsies daises [+13] u/Overall-Fold-9720: Destabilizing the middle east is very risky, you need to secure alternative oil sources, as the conflict will affect the supply It's just a pure coincidence that the operation in Venezuela happened a few months ago though [+13] u/JaredFlys: Someone impeach this fool [+13] u/Tay_Tay86: Bulls cooked Well done [+13] u/Diamond-Solo: Have you said 'thank you' once? [+13] u/DrElkSnout: If you don't own gold and silver under this administration you are a fucking double-digit IQ drooler. [+13] u/FullCopy: Khameni shows up expecting 72 virgins. Doors open… it’s 72 Star Trek convention diehards arguing about warp core canon. [+13] u/InternationalTop2410: If you don't want to get drafted show your trading record and claim insanity [+13] u/pootenanner: That’s it. This is where spx stays. 6839-6840. Everything is perfectly priced in for eternity. Gg [+13] u/aaapod: Breaking: Kash Patel announced as next Iranian Supreme Leader [+13] u/hermeskino715: "🥭 America first has become Israel first" Damn. Spitting facts ^(other than the fact it's always been that way and he never cared about America in the first place) [+13] u/binga001: I think 🥭 has no idea or plan about what he wants to do.. he's just randomly doing stuff like a toddler trying to solve a Rubik's cube [+13] u/Common_Arm_9348: People posting recordings of B52 stealth bombers flying in Texas. Not very stealthy if you can fucking see em. [+13] u/Kattilaeikka: Who came up with the idea that jihadists will capitulate when you bomb them and turn their leaders into martyrs? That person must have been sleeping in the history class. [+13] u/freehouse_throwaway: Chuckle I'm in danger [+13] u/habfranco: how do you even taco this [+13] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: #Trump: All dip buyers will be pardoned from the upcoming draft [+13] u/SadWimp: Israel TA125 +5% and US cucked 🤡😂 [+13] u/Aranthos-Faroth: Man, all they had to do for us all to succeed was nothing. Can't believe people voted for this. Never forgive, never forget. [+13] u/randalflagg: * 🥭 SAYS HIS POTENTIAL CANDIDATES TO LEAD IRAN KILLED: ABC lol [+12] u/Proton404x: # love how a hour later it’s just berish as fuck and all the bulls stopped talking. I love you guys [+12] u/IamtryigOKAY: This is not even a drop. Just a regular Monday. [+12] u/FeverTreeCloud: I don’t care if Dow crashes tomorrow Gonna be in denial and call it a buying opportunity [+12] u/ICE-FlGHT: IM SO FUCKING FUCKED I HATE GOOGLE [+12] u/Particular-Cake-6430: The spy $700 crew real quiet tonight. [+12] u/Disconn3cted: Your lives are sacrifice I'm willing to make, but my money isn't. I'm very upset right now. [+12] u/UsualSusspekt: So are we just  gonna be in a constant state of war for the rest of 🥭 presidency? Cause I don't think the Epstein Files are going anywhere anytime soon [+12] u/AMCorBUST2021: Buy the dip. Short the VIX. Fuck Bitcoin. Thank you for the opportunity. Gus [+12] u/DeviantDougy: Everytime I feel bad about my life choices I remember that people bought bitcoin at 120k+ [+12] u/TickTockTaudit: 31andnotdone has a box of wine and is calling out tomorrow. [+12] u/ResponsibleValue7745: Whether bears want to admit it or not, the complete failure of Chinese air defenses is bullish as hell [+12] u/tortu995: Plot twist: the ayatollah died of a heart attack and the iranians called and said hey bomb us and pretend you killed him so we both make a killing trading on this. [+12] u/dogefool88: There was a guy who was $2M in profit on ASTS call options and decided to exercise instead of taking that profit. He will not sleep for next 5 years now [+12] u/ThatOneRedditBro: Ive positioned for oil, defense contractors, and metals going back over a year. This is my moment, bitches. [+12] u/Fun-Valuable-7355: Gold green, silver red long instability, short the economy [+12] u/Quick1711: Playing options with 🥭 in office is pointless unless you’re an insider. This shit is seriously a waste of time and money. Dude is so unhinged and unpredictable that something that would normally be profitable just goes up in smoke from a truth social post. [+12] u/Abe2025: Im so sick to my stomach I cant even sleep bc of how red we will open [+12] u/BarbellPadawan: Be generous when others are greedy. [+12] u/StonksInvesteur: So anyway, we start crashing [+12] u/plzplzplztendies: #WHO’S READY FOR BLACK MONDAY?? [+12] u/broke_person: SO FUCKING SICK OF RED DAYS SO FUCKING SICK OF BEING POOR. FUCK YOU ORANGE MAN [+12] u/Noddite: Sorry fellow regards, this shit isn't going to rebound, he ignited an actual war. They have already brought down multiple US fighter jets and the attacks are expanding. Oil could double by the end of the week. Sure, war has been great for the market in the last few decades, but that was also when it had little impact to anyone outside the nation we invaded/bombed. Iran looks to be taking the whole middle east with it. [+12] u/AusConsoleGamesLFG: There's an Israeli stock market? Why are we not all investing in that knowing what we know about those money loving fellas? If stonks only go up, imagine how much shekels only go up [+12] u/Rinolboss: This is dropping even more at open [+12] u/DahyunDabFan: Which one of yall tards working kuwaiti air defence? [+12] u/Ok-Thought-9960: JUST IN: Barron also has bone spurs [+12] u/Super-Extent-1210: Iran is not a small country. How regime change with no ground operation? It will be take the same effort as what it took to out Saddam Hussain [+12] u/AdCritical5383: >![Removed by Moderator]!< [+12] u/anonkraken: lol bulls sound more retarded than i’ve heard in eight years of being in this shit hole. green by open i guess, you fucking idiots lol [+12] u/InternationalTop2410: Silver better wake up tommorow at 9.30 [+12] u/whodey84: PPI came in hot for January. Good thing oil is down so we don't have any inflation. [+12] u/Acceptable_Dirt69: We ride at dawn bertards [+12] u/stop-sharting: u know his ass is sweating rn he hasnt tweeted in a while [+12] u/JanGuillosThrowaway: Oh hey my defence stocks are soaring this morning, I wonder if anything happened in the world [+12] u/HolyMotherTheresa: So the whole Middle East is bombing each other now? But 🥭 said only 4 weeks right? 🤡 [+12] u/MasterElite1: >When a country resorts to import tariffs specifically to service sovereign debt, this reflects a failure of broader revenue mechanisms. The country is already in or near fiscal breakdown, and the currency is likely to collapse within a short window. ✅️ [+12] u/Leather_Mention5916: Why did Obama start this war, was it the tan suit? [+12] u/goooonerbroz: I might literally try a 3 week news cleanse, that includes reddit and literally anything else which "informs" me. Might start watching birds and feeding random stray animals [+12] u/MentionThen200: Didn’t think id say this after yesterday… but calls at open [+12] u/bbmiscOG: waste of time because futures mean nothing at all at open [+11] u/meowman420: Everyone in here is bullish. You know what that means. [+11] u/bigmeatbag: Dumbass Donnie saying American troops have to die to stop Iran getting a nuke when his regarded ass tore up the deal that did just that only because his pee pee so smol and he jealous of Obama's bbc. At least I'm long on oil which hedges this cluster fuck. [+11] u/type_error: Futes fake. Green by open [+11] u/proret4rd: This oil move is fucking weak [+11] u/Happy-Champion1661: I am so happy to have taco, **WE ARE WINNING SO MUCH**, no stupid wars started, NOBEL PRIZE **imagine if the market was flat, tech deep red and we started a new war/make tariffs threat every month** EDIT: oh, and also no inflation and a STRONG job market [+11] u/BFox1982: I can ride my bike with no handlebars [+11] u/Throwaway18987987: Futes trying to recover and failing, not the best sign. It is still early to be fair. [+11] u/EarthquakeCrater: Breaking: Tom Lee announced as Iranian provincial FED Chair. [+11] u/Common_Arm_9348: A f-15 fighter jet costs around 100M to make. So if we shoot enough of these things out of the sky and make new ones to replace them, we will have huge GDP growth. Calls. [+11] u/AnimalIndependent: Everyone is saying buy the dip, but I have no money cus I full ported into calls on Friday.... [+11] u/cheesygordita: My name's 🥭 and welcome to Jackass. This one's called start a war in the middle east [+11] u/Frosty-Pea-4577: WSB bearish? Green at open lol [+11] u/Warm-Profit-775: You will lose money tomorrow 𝙏 𝙃 𝘼 𝙉 𝙆 𝙔 𝙊 𝙐 𝙁 𝙊 𝙍 𝙔 𝙊 𝙐 𝙍 𝘼 𝙏 𝙏 𝙀 𝙉 𝙏 𝙄 𝙊 𝙉 𝙏 𝙊 𝙏 𝙃 𝙄 𝙎 𝙈 𝘼 𝙏 𝙏 𝙀 𝙍 ! [+11] u/decjr06: 🥭 made the gas expensiver 😡 [+11] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: Iran might not win this, but they can take a giant shit in the middle of the room and make everyone have to deal with it [+11] u/PunchingAgreenbush: silly bers forgot rule #1 in the market red by night, bol delite [+11] u/iamjt: I'm ber and I think green by open [+11] u/TacticalTackleBox: It's priced in you idiots. We hit ATH tomorrow [+11] u/ProudestPeasant: I don't watch mainstream media anymore. [+11] u/otimanob: When wsb is pessimistic, its actually the biggest bullish sign [+11] u/Wows_Nightly_News: Social media is pretty funny right now. Russia aparently shut down the bot farms, so every flesh and blood conservative influencer is just getting dragged. [+11] u/Vort3x7689: Technical analysis is just astrology for guys who own three monitors and still live with their parents. Anyway, my chart says Iran is projected to be gay by open [+11] u/BarbellPadawan: 🥭 ‘s war plan is like the trading plan of the average WSB commenter. Just kind of random lack of consistency, pressing buttons, sometimes making a move for the lolz, making deranged comments, and posting loss porn in the middle of the night. [+11] u/SouthNice7324: Sold my puts on Friday after the slight dip. I won’t be able to read “no one ever lost money taking profits” through my tears [+11] u/Careless_Boot2233: Saudi Aramco hit. US F15 shot down in friendly fire. Shit is about to go down. The agent orange pedo did miscalculate massively. [+11] u/hioman01: They are called calls because you get margin call [+11] u/Jay3377: As a bol, I concede defeat. Please save my porfolio [+11] u/throwawaydonaldinho: Oil 8% seems cheap with Aramco getting bombed. Feels like should be 12% just on Hormuz. [+11] u/Melodic-Scheme8794: Everything is going to zero [+11] u/br0botic: Bers might actually get to eat their semiannual meal [+11] u/yourfavouriteguyhere: The number of Islamic regime supporters here is alarming. [+11] u/Mobile_Collection646: i’m actually glad Iran is putting up this much of a fight. I’m american but we’ve been bending backwards for israel since JFK died. If america needs to lose i’d rather it be now than later [+11] u/Voltthrower69: Things gonna get real expensive aren’t they. [+11] u/emporium4648: THE MIGHTIEST MILITARY IN THE WORLD : 50-year sanctioned Iran downing F15s. Pete Hegseth going to get pegggggged. [+11] u/Dapper-Video-791: Lmao. Orange said it will only last 4 weeks.  I 100000% remember George Bush saying the same thing about Iraq.  Bush said it'd only cost $30B too.  Bush was only off by $5 trillion dollars and 20 years. [+11] u/TapIllustrious2366: Let’s go to the Winchester, grab a pint, and wait for this whole thing to blow over. [+11] u/ilikemgs: How big of a salary do you have to earn to feel like spending 15k on doordash in a year is ok [+11] u/Kru1zer: -1% is this a dip for ants? [+11] u/InterBeard: Gold going to 6K. Get your LEAPS NOW! [+11] u/FullCopy: Khameni was gonna get the Maduro deal but there were no flights available. He got option B. [+11] u/DeezSpicyNuts: My theory is that hot girls don’t really exist most of the time, they just spawn in near the beach in groups of 2-6 on hot days [+11] u/Vort3x7689: Be gay when others are straight [+11] u/Raw-Garden: Going to be up all night watching futures lmao [+11] u/Ok_Cry7572: Anthropic is never going to need a marketing department again.. [+11] u/Successful-End7689: shit aint looking good folks [+11] u/Samjabr: What did I do before the internet? https://preview.redd.it/et0hnwjbrkmg1.jpeg?width=520&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0268150aa911b2db9486911821a1da9994b80b1f [+11] u/tugrulthelol: Pajama traders overreacting as always [+11] u/WombatShwambat: It’s not fair that puppies get to wake you up at 1 am to go pee and then immediately fall back to sleep while I lay here looking at my illuminated mirror brick of horrors wondering if I will be rich or poor in 8 hours [+11] u/Polysorbate800: Margin gonna be calling tomorrow [+11] u/Advanced_Rabbit1017: Still too bullish in here buying more puts tomorrow [+11] u/PunchingAgreenbush: Just watched Uncut Gems, shit was made for people in here [+11] u/SwiftSG1: Claude, do regime change in Iran, make no mistakes. [+11] u/Cav829: It is really showing how some of you only made money because of a bull market. [+11] u/Clear-West747: Actually can I add onion rings? [+10] u/DonDiabloTheGreat: Is the Strait of Hummus still closed? [+10] u/jraiv420: The real pain doesn’t start until Iran blocks the strait of Hormuz [+10] u/zkgkilla: Oh now gold is listening to me, thanks [+10] u/willienwaylonnme: I have an active UTI. My options are to either: A) go spend $150 at urgent care B) man up and spend $150 on oil stocks [+10] u/Bizonistic: GLD is savior of my port [+10] u/Kattilaeikka: There will be a circuit breaker at 0930 when the unwashed masses start to dump in panic. The way it looks like Epic Fury is going they'll need boots on the ground. This would be a career ender for others but for orange god emperor this just gives a reason to cancel the midterms. [+10] u/AirportMaterial5917: what happened to america first [+10] u/Necessary_Ad_9800: Taking a loan to buy stocks does not seem like the genius move I thought it would be [+10] u/jraiv420: Green by open is cope [+10] u/BarbellPadawan: Bulls were literally declaring victory on behalf of an aggressor nation state 36 hours ago. [+10] u/Inside-Arm8635: Futures Green by open [+10] u/52iou: -1%? Where are the circuit breakers bears promised us? [+10] u/AdCritical5383: We could be in the middle of a circuit breaker and the post-rona permabol chodes would still parrot 🦜 “raaah ber fuk.” Let’s make money on the way up and down my retarded frens. Being a perma anything leads to being a poor. [+10] u/Impressive-Mud-3362: You can get filthy rich in a short period, if you predict market moves correctly. Just be right and not wrong. [+10] u/randomnameforme123: Mango got his tariff toy taken away and immediately started a war LMAO [+10] u/zephyrs85: Aw fuck this I'm ordering a pizza and watching original jumanji [+10] u/IlinistRainbow6: if microsoft hits 420 this week i’ll drink my own piss [+10] u/Noble_Bastard: Considering all the shit going on right now, minus 1% is kind of tame. Maybe it continues to bleed, but I'm willing to bet on a slow V, with theta fucking everyone over (as usual). [+10] u/UsualSusspekt: Boomers really are the worst [+10] u/Rock_or_Rol: BTC pumping before trading opens. Definitely not sus. Definitely not a mouse trap. [+10] u/MusingsAndMind: Stop hunching at your PC. Yeah, you. [+10] u/Shah_an_shah: Killing someone mid negotiation is a pretty dishonourable move. Ngl. [+10] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: Lol. Kash Patel's 27 year old - wannabe country music star girlfriend has a full-time 4 person FBI security detail. You can't make this shit up [+10] u/pacific_b: That’s it I’m sold…tomorrow is green [+10] u/Awkward_Ad_5102: If I had a Time Machine, I’d still find a way to fuck up my portfolio 💀 [+10] u/Cthulhu-2020: Markets stabilize as MMs determine paying out put premium is a higher threat than mideast conflagration [+10] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: The Iran War bear market and oil rally, 3/1/26 to 3/1/26. [+10] u/IceCreamButt69: A lot of green by open talk but I see zero ban bets on the matter. Grow some balls retards [+10] u/Powerful_Mission_655: Market will drop to 680 bounce to 690 drop to 680 bounce and repeat til the end of time 🤣 [+10] u/qx2: Too many experts in WSB, I’ll just sit this open out for 30 minutes [+10] u/Soossaaaa: that 100 year Google bond at 6% is looking real good as of lately [+10] u/Chlo-Motion: Iran supreme leader X account still active so he must be shitposting from beyond the grave [+10] u/dont_downvote_SPECIL: Police officer pulled me over when he saw me drinking a Liquid Death tallboy while driving When I clarified it was just sparkling water and 0% alcohol, he gave me a fistbump 👊, called me a badass, and told me to have a good night 🌃 😎 [+10] u/InformalMeal9828: Iran security chief: we will not negotiate with the US….puts on the Iran security chief then [+10] u/Tay_Tay86: Iran says they will not negotiate with the US. Looks like it's not going to be quick. [+10] u/ButterscotchFew9855: I'm waiting 4 days...last time Israel claimed they tookout a high ranking religious dude he was seen walking around 3 days later and the world has never recovered [+10] u/Careless_Ad6067: Praying the midterms don’t turn us into a full blown dictatorship [+10] u/leomeng: Absolute embarrassment for the 🥭 admin. [+10] u/Alternative-Set3147: Why did Bill Clinton do this to us [+10] u/Spiritual-Seesaw-742: No hate but I genuinely can't believe that some of you guys thought going to war was bullish [+10] u/RoccoFb: What gets me is the hypocrisy [+10] u/Deadweight047: War and uncertainty are extremely bullish. [+10] u/Datsyuk131313: The homeless guy I walk past on my way to the office probably has more money than me at this point [+10] u/sanndman: taco burning the world so we would stop asking about the epstein files. [+10] u/Overall-Fold-9720: Americans have taken down more F-15 than Iran so far [+10] u/Trashpanda7193: This doesn’t look good [+10] u/BarbellPadawan: US carriers are almost out of tomahawks. And on the mainland tomahawks steak prices are at ATHs. [+10] u/ICE-FlGHT: IM SO FUCKING COOKED [+10] u/yayahi: i got so much PTSD from crypto last cycle i forced myself to take a bunch of profit late last year proud owner of 40 acres... you can't panic sell dirt. checkmate nerds [+10] u/Impressive-Name5129: 10 min until the premarket and all hell breaks loose [+10] u/Rohat19: not hearing no mouse clicks or keyboard clacking from the cubicles around me I know all these fuckers are on their phone scrolling reels on mute [+10] u/VOO_bull_forever: # The no new wars president # if his 'fans' still support him, they are braindead fr [+10] u/Tay_Tay86: Some are saying 🥭 will 🌮 I say this: Some dicks just can't be unsucked Think about it [+10] u/Pls9887: My recently viewed subreddits are wallstreetbets and then all porn [+10] u/HowLongCanIMakeACock: Guy in the stall next to me is farting up a storm [+10] u/BarbellPadawan: “We will not negotiate with the United States.” -Ali Larijani (Iran’s Secretary of the Supreme National Security Council) Just as I predicted 🤌 [+10] u/Kattilaeikka: The problem for 🥭 is that he can't TACO his way out of this by himself. He also needs Bibi and Iran to chicken out. [+10] u/StonksInvesteur: He’s in too deep and can’t taco his way out anymore [+10] u/Rohat19: wtf do nvidia gpus got to do with the war in the middle east [+10] u/Kattilaeikka: Not enough exit liquidity for the institutions. They're waiting for the retarded retail. [+10] u/drakilian: Nasdaq down 1.3% but everyone bullish because it was down 2% 3 hours ago [+10] u/Fickle-Necessary-438: F-15s falling out of the sky, multiple bases cooked, largest refinery toast. Market opens flat. USA is more concerned about financial engineering than winning wars. SPY 700 EOW [+10] u/daviper87: # No one has ever won 2 consecutive FIFA peace prizes. That would really cement 🥭's legacy as peace president and worthy of a Nobel peace price by itself. [+10] u/TheMallard1: BREAKING: Outkast to release new song titled "Bombs over Iran" [+10] u/Concerned_Fanboy: kicking off an unnecessary and unpopular war by immediately telling your people that "lots of US soldiers are gonna die thats just how it is" cant be a good sign [+10] u/Overall-Fold-9720: Iran, Israel and all them naughty boys better be using eco friendly missiles I ain't forced to drink with paper straws in paper cups for nothing [+10] u/Samjabr: I thought GLD and SLV would open much higher than this. Sadface [+10] u/kriegkopf: CENTCOM announces 3 F-15's and my portfolio shot down this morning [+10] u/Karl151: Bears are chicken little screaming the sky is falling everytime fireworks go off in the middle east [+10] u/Throwawayforyoink1: Should I load up on more cumrocket coin? [+10] u/BarbellPadawan: I think this will be just like operation Iraqi freedom where we were in and out. Surgical. Quick. No friendly casualties. No collateral damage. 🤌 [+10] u/Kattilaeikka: Just remember that your ports will not die in vain. They will die for the pedos in the Epstein files. [+10] u/Sufficient-Fly9831: Relapsed on liquor just before the weekend, 16 beers and two orders of sashimi later, I put 6000 dollars on short term tsla puts 400 strike price. Iran war erupts next morning. First time doing options. In 3 hours we find out if God wants me to drink [+10] u/Specialist703: Am I being gaslighted that the market is opening green [+10] u/WarmCan3034: do U guys think all the countries have a group chat without US and text each other about how dumb the US is and wtf we're doing/wtf we're saying 😔😔 [+10] u/OrganizationWest3187: The lack of fear and abundance of greed tells me that we might actually be fucked this week [+10] u/MinoltaMiyata: Nothing ever happens... Except when it does Which it is [+10] u/Money-Coyote3100: F\*CK NETANYAHUUU AND TRUMP!!! [+9] u/iratezero: Dubai getting hit, fitness influencers can't even get shitted on in peace smh SLV, GLD [+9] u/No-Sympathy-686: https://preview.redd.it/0wij7vfhpimg1.jpeg?width=4320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7d9e79c49958acf66e0c4fc8ac6c1d6ac841140b [+9] u/Total_Schedule591: 34mins til pre-shenanigans start [+9] u/Noble_Bastard: Everything is up bigly (Oil, Gold, Silver, VIX, buttcorn), except for stonks. [+9] u/iloveaccounting64: Fuck you wsb mods, I fucked all of your moms. [+9] u/Namtabmal: Guys you do realize you cant all be waiting to buy the dip? Somebody has to do the panic selling [+9] u/WombatShwambat: Buying puts to hold over the weekend in case of WW3 has been a terrible strategy until Net and Yahoo actually did it [+9] u/myironlung6: Imagine being so utterly retarded and naive that you saw the US moving half its entire arsenal to the Persian gulf and still bought calls into a weekend. 🫵🫵🫵🫵🤡🤡🤡 [+9] u/SwiftSG1: Israel will fight for Iran’s democracy to the last American [+9] u/stop-sharting: doesnt look like a small fire to me [https://www.reddit.com/r/war/comments/1rim7u5/saudi\_arabia\_oil\_refinery/](https://www.reddit.com/r/war/comments/1rim7u5/saudi_arabia_oil_refinery/) [+9] u/GoochPhilosopher: Shrek's boner was destroyed in a drone strike 😭 [+9] u/goooonerbroz: Yo did we forget bout EPSTEIN? Thats not trending anymore. Shit was soooooo last week [+9] u/KateCrash87: dont panic, were I am in Europe the index is just down like 1,5% [+9] u/Pale_Newspaper_82: Once again, Bondi called the top. Don't think DOW is going above 50000 any time soon. [+9] u/CompsciBytch: gold and silver were the biggest disappointment. knew this would happen [+9] u/uncorrelatedgambling: Holding over the weekend nowadays is like jizzing into a prostitute, that shit may come back to haunt you! [+9] u/king_of_all_retards: Hi guys my ban is finally over so I want to say that you all are retards <3 [+9] u/-user222: we all know it will dump but impressive V [+9] u/Theleniel: Let's be honest, this whole Iran thing is bigger than most people thought, including the markets. There is a surprise factor. Also Trump saying it's gonna last 4 weeks. If this had been over this weekend already with some sort of deal, sure, 700 here weg go, but this now doesn't look good. [+9] u/AirportMaterial5917: please give me cock. [+9] u/AdditionalActuator81: I don’t know bulls every pump seems to be getting knocked right back down [+9] u/killainvest: Good news my tism prevents me from being drafted [+9] u/softboiledjadepotato: Gentlemen, sharpen your crayons [+9] u/definatelynotme321: Iran kinda got hands [+9] u/rawdigga: CNN reporting the 40 Iranian leaders gathered in the compound had puts. [+9] u/Dry-Breath-2682: As usual Inverse Reddit always work...this sub was painting catastrophic scenarios with the stock market collapsing 6% throughout the entire weekend, and instead we have a -0.4% in the after market during peak emotions and low liquidity....it means we close green tomorrow [+9] u/Sober_Alcoholic_: I love when people ask “does somebody know something??” Yes. There’s a club and we’re not in it. [+9] u/eyerollingsex: Corn going for 6 monthly red candles in a row [+9] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: I shit my pants again [+9] u/Mahrez-: Believe it or not,Open by green. [+9] u/syedhuda: futes down bigly but buls celebrating like its the golden age. gonna be an interesting week [+9] u/Tay_Tay86: Oil shock -> inflation spike -> weak economy -> stagflation -> higher rates, high unemployment -> risk off [+9] u/InstructionBig746: Down 20k on Nvda 3/20 200c 🤡🤡🤡 [+9] u/_dudehangsdong: Guys this isn’t funny anymore [+9] u/South_University_943: imagine being ASTS and getting their 'assumed' bad earnings report on the same day as a new war lmaoo [+9] u/Berto_: Its ok...I didn't need to retire anyways. [+9] u/trumpdiego: sold my puts for a loss friday afternoon, fuck me in the goat ass [+9] u/Automatic-Outside534: Where my GLD gang at??? [+9] u/Glock7enteen: Iran just hit Iraq in a residential area these fuckers are the worst at war ever 😂 [+9] u/Bright_Albatross649: watching the iran situation is fucking crazy, cause you know they tryna wrap this up before market open [+9] u/shunted22: MMs laughing their asses off as they theta gang us again [+9] u/Historical_Iron_5920: “It’s all over mission accomplished” Millennials have seen this movie before 😎 Watch and learn, absolute horror awaits [+9] u/D1finalboss: Feeling like the market will shrug off anything that happened this weekend including my girlfriend not texting me back [+9] u/092Casey: 4 week plan- yeah sure, where have we heard that before?  Inflation hot. AI bubble and software fears Strait of Hormuz at risk  Escalation chance at any moment.... How anybody thinks SPY is not going down to 671-650 is laughable. [+9] u/GneissFrog: He's thinking about a ~~regime~~ diaper change [+9] u/saduglystoopid: libs so mad Donny is brave enough to crap his pants in the oval office, no dem leader would ever have the guts to drop their guts on live TV [+9] u/Unit_Weird: Becoming a mess ...3 weeks too late America. All the brave revolutionaries have been hung. [+9] u/WarmCan3034: Wow… recession 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅 [+9] u/_dudehangsdong: Holy fuck this might actually be bad [+9] u/fscumeau: a lot of new GEN-Z kidz here who were going BALLZ DEEP in AI stocks are going to understand what it feels like to witness a correction. [+9] u/daviper87: i guess there is no plan for day 3? [+9] u/InstructionBig746: This is gonna be a fake v lol [+9] u/Disconn3cted: Don't look at your portfolio bro. You won't like what you see [+9] u/Usedillusion7: Don't worry stupid bols. I'm screenshotting your comments so I can remind you tomorrow when the market opens. [+9] u/proret4rd: Buying the dip at the open. Moves down are weak [+9] u/mysuruhuduga: We are gonna win so much you may even get tired of winning, and you will say please, please, it’s too much winning, we can’t take it anymore, Mr pres it’s too much and I’ll say no it isn’t, we have to keep winning and we have to win more [+9] u/WombatShwambat: Mods are definitely going to have to post the hotline tomorrow [+9] u/Dumbtrader66: Bear market 2026 panic time coming [+9] u/Advanced_Rabbit1017: Some major cope im seeing in here from some of you.. your short dated calls are fuqed, accept it and plan and reposition its not complicated bro [+9] u/NewLifeInAfghanistan: 57 kindergarteners and an 86 year old man killed for bears to celebrate over 0.86% [+9] u/InvincibleRoman: bulls seen swerving through traffic honking at everyone. [+9] u/The_Alan_Greenspan: It all went downhill when they canceled the penny. [+9] u/TequilaTrader: Everyone is so negative here tonight. Take a pill [+9] u/Neel_Crashkari: Imagine Rashida Jones jogging in a bikini [+9] u/WarmCan3034: Guy its going to be ok! Lindsay Lohan is safe in Dubai <3 [+9] u/Soffatjockis: So yeah, this script is pretty bad... No one is going to watch this movie. What if we put Sydney sweeney in it so she can show her tits? Fucking brilliant idea mate!!.... Basically how the housemaid was made. [+9] u/Level_Ad8089: thats why I use olive oil [+9] u/Noble_Bastard: I'm going to either make, or lose so much money tomorrow. [+9] u/tastyfreeeze69: 8 minutes everyone get ready [+9] u/AdCritical5383: I had only two things when I started my career. My wits, and >!37 million dollars from nana!<. [+9] u/Castopliani: Every time within the first 15 minutes of market open futes don't even matter anymore. So why stare at them all night? [+9] u/hailfire27: Can we just skip to the part where we all nuke each other and we live in the apocalypse. Tired of my life meaning depending on some numbers on the screen. [+9] u/BarbellPadawan: You guys remember the Melania movie?? That was like 20 major news cycles ago [+9] u/Tay_Tay86: Immigrant propoganda [+9] u/pepecapital: Remember when they said khamenei was gonna speak in a few mins?😂😂 bro was a ball of dust in a bunker [+9] u/Extreme_Green_1708: We will move on from Iran, just like we stopped talking about Venezuela. Give it a couple days and the news headlines will be back to Epstein, NFL kickoff only 289 days away, and what if aliens stole my family? [+9] u/_dudehangsdong: This is why sports betting is better [+8] u/AdditionalActuator81: Green by open of course [+8] u/I_Own_A_Fedora_AMA: Bulls really thought lmao [+8] u/spellbadgrammargood: Ngl I can totally understand why young men are giving up on life. [+8] u/LiveMotivation: All the Bear mockery being spoken tonight. As soon as a Darth Maul candle appears BOLS will run and hide. Will be nothing but crickets in here. [+8] u/pootenanner: Be careful out there bros. 2 us terror attacks. One in cincy one in Austin. Probably just single radicalized ppl but it’s rough out there. Get yo woman off hinge this week. [+8] u/Acefanatik: Retards that can’t locate locate Iran on map trying to convince u market is crushing tomorrow that’s funny as shit [+8] u/hermeskino715: Why are bols celebrating? Got me thinking we green or flat [+8] u/Concerned_Fanboy: Israel now attacking Lebanon. Conflict continues to spread [+8] u/astrawberryandakiwi: MSFT please release some good news tomorrow [+8] u/Noble_Bastard: LMAO. Instead of Bers buying the dip, they're going to be buying ROPE. [+8] u/leomeng: Wow. Are you guys watching Bloomberg? 🥭 says one of his potential successor candidates for presidency was killed by Iran. [+8] u/kalakesri: Turns out Iran had agreed to 🥭s terms the Americans were too regarded to understand it 💀 [+8] u/Rizocon1: BAG ALERT 🚨 MAJOR BAGGGG ALERT 🚨 [+8] u/type_error: I wonder how many people made millions on the signal chat [+8] u/vsmand1: Wallahi I’m finished! [+8] u/WombatShwambat: I just had a seance where i summoned the ghost of Dick Cheney. He says your calls are fucked [+8] u/Active_Finish2316: Real market is at 9:30 am🙌 [+8] u/UsualSusspekt: At the current rate, carbon dioxide concentrations will be so high in 50 years that humans will no longer be able to survive [+8] u/DonDiabloTheGreat: Worldcup is going to be awwwwwwkward 😬 [+8] u/TheGeoGod: Tech will open down 1.5% tomorrow [+8] u/F1rstOnesFree: I used to drive an ayatollah in college. [+8] u/BarbellPadawan: Anyone spend any time in here Saturday morning? ‘Member how delusional the 🤡 bull comments and predictions were? I may be gǎæ but I’ve never been *that* wrong. [+8] u/stop-sharting: [https://x.com/molowarmonitor/status/2028362885705986498?s=46](https://x.com/molowarmonitor/status/2028362885705986498?s=46) is this real [+8] u/aaapod: how am i supposed to sleep [+8] u/AccountOfMyAncestors: 50% of my port is in GOOGL, am I in danger? [+8] u/Mysterious_Sock_7085: ghey bers celebrating a war for their $300 poots [+8] u/SpiteRevolutionary99: Almost been a year since the tariff dip that knocked spy Down 70 points so I call puts on way and circuit breakers come Monday afternoon [+8] u/Voenker: Watch me buying oil calls, then world peace happens and oil price plunges. [+8] u/skin_flute_player: Iran crashing out on everyone. Oil is about to go up by like 50% this week 😂. [+8] u/Saltysunbro: I sold NVDA and GOOG which means it will be green by open. [+8] u/Samjabr: GLD and SLV are not acting like WW3 is around the corner. Even oil is a snoozefest [+8] u/IceyFoxes: i feel betrayed that bitcoin is green what gives? safe haven asset?! [+8] u/Excellent_Row8297: My car ran out gas on the way to work this morning. When I finally made it, the boss asked how I got there. I told him I ran. [+8] u/Low_Programmer1814: QatarEnergy has announced it's stopping production of LNG without announcing any timelines or details. [+8] u/UsualSusspekt: Can't believe they killed Irans Supreme Tortilla [+8] u/olahinc: I bet someone will try to short the shit out of oil [+8] u/AFTCP: Looks like this was the black swan event to take it down. [+8] u/AnimalIndependent: I'm scared to sleep and open my app in the morning [+8] u/Then-Wealth-1481: I’m actually surprised it’s not even redder. [+8] u/B2BContinuum: Let me say it again louder so the kids in back rows can hear. Hold the rumors bag the news [+8] u/JJdante: Never underestimate SOFI's ability to disappoint. (WeBull you're not far behind.) [+8] u/AFTCP: I guess Tehran was also the headquarters of the Bers. [+8] u/bea-xoxo-123: stop being negative. everything will be Ok < 3 [+8] u/Throwawayforyoink1: Be horny when others are angry [+8] u/ManyHead6662: ppl saying china fuked cuz of oil look at byd today they don't even buy gas cars anymore [+8] u/BarbellPadawan: GLD 700 before SPY, just as I predicted 🤌 [+8] u/Heavy-Imagination506: 11k comments by 2am Monday. Bullish. [+8] u/Leather_Mention5916: [ Removed by Reddit ] [+8] u/UsernameTaken_123: Pre-emptive strike on bol portfolio underway [+8] u/NaiveMercury: **Green by open has never been more obvious** [+8] u/DanqueLeChay: If you buy calls because ”it’s the patriotic and heroic thing to do!” Do yourself a favor and just talk to a recruiter today. [+8] u/Concerned_Fanboy: 97 million dollar jets, we just lost 3 of em. No big [+8] u/whyshw: Futures look mildly down, just like an average Monday. Wouldn’t be surprised if they turn green overnight [+8] u/Fresh_Internal_6085: Might feast on Taco Bell today. May as well have my asshole literally, as well as figuratively destroyed later on. [+8] u/That_Investigator893: downvoted because I’m a visual thinker sorry [+8] u/xeemyy: I sold everything last Friday and went 100% cash. Feels like I was right for once. I saved my port. 😭 [+8] u/Samjabr: What did everyone expect? Markets down 10%? FFS, this move was telegraphed. You thought the most destructive navy on earth was amassing five minutes off the coast of Iran for shore leave? for the most part, it's baked in - add the fact that it's going overwhelmingly in the US' favor - even the Arab countries are pissed at Iran. This outcome is the market's equivalent of a wet dream [+8] u/ozz3121: I'm not a bull, I'm not a bear, but gosh it sure is fun watching my portfolio disappear. [+8] u/CasherburyTales: Iran just straight up attacking everybody. Bold move [+8] u/AndThisGuyPeedOnIt: Just a simple little 4 week regime change, no big deal. Also, we accidentally killed the Ayatollah replacement and multiple terror attacks already occurred. [+8] u/plzplzplztendies: #TANKER GANG STAND UP [+8] u/Rolling_in_the_Dip: Green by close !!! Where are you my balls ! [+8] u/SkyeJack: Surprised 🌽 hasn't sold off more [+8] u/Concerned_Fanboy: This whole thing is just one big write off Jerry [+8] u/unikuenobody: Open by green. Fr fr. [+8] u/zestykite: O shit. We actually gonna be red by open [+7] u/zestykite: That oil tanker play guy gonna make bank [+7] u/WarmCan3034: can we get a circuit breaker plsss, just so I can say "first circuit breaker, kinda nervous" [+7] u/Chance-Duty-9453: Day 47 of wishing I’d sold my google shares [+7] u/goooonerbroz: Jet fuel cant melt steel beams [+7] u/Cdecar06812: Keep in mind that other Arab nations will join in at taking down the regime for their own safety [+7] u/AwarenessRoyal4717: We become Iran millionaires tomorrow regards [+7] u/LaMeraVergaSinPatas: Honestly for me it was Pluto, ever since kicked out things have been so shit [+7] u/dabblesest: Alright get some sleep guys, I want everyone well rested to make some huge mistakes tomorrow. [+7] u/nicholasCageSucks: Bring back sleepy joe already. This stupid fuck is ruining everything. Bastard. [+7] u/OsamaBagHolding: Breaking: Persons with 'tism's will be immediately drafted to the Air Force [+7] u/Frosty_Promise8050: Bolz, really, this is sad. It’s not even regarded, it’s delusional. [+7] u/mstranonymous: I go to bed and bulls celebrating spy only being down .5%, I wake up and bulls celebrating only being down .9%. Were people really expecting pre markets to dip 3-5%? If it's down near 1% by open that's nothing to celebrate [+7] u/MichaelJamesBurry: This is your last chance to sell. It’s clear as day it’s gonna dump hard at open. [+7] u/cowboyoutlaw123: YOUR PUTS Will EXPIRE WORTHLESS!!!! Thank you for your attention to this matter…. [+7] u/Vikingnorris: I hope nobody has their life savings invested in this shit rn [+7] u/Beautiful-Present-54: Deleted robinhood for this week [+7] u/iannoyyou101: Believe it or not, calls. [+7] u/Bapu_: UAE stock market closed for two days Trump should have closed our markets also when dow was 50k [+7] u/andytobbles: Bonds aren’t liking $100/barrel oil talks lol [+7] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Any news that 🥭 wants to talk to Iran leadership is only because they wiped out their top 50 guys already and don’t know who’s in charge to target next. [+7] u/MilkMySpermCannon: Who could have predicted this would have deteriorated into a shit show with every country in the region getting involved along with NATO moving forces into the region. Sounds really bad so calls it is. [+7] u/Emergency-Ticket5859: see you in hell boys, we about to dump again [+7] u/__nameless____: Man, Biden's economy is the worst [+7] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: they had it coming with that fucking chocolate [+7] u/Concerned_Fanboy: all these new people thinking this will blow over and we will finish green are about to have a wake up call [+7] u/Common_Arm_9348: Boogleheads is a sub full of people buying SPY and trying to beat the market. Absolute fools. [+6] u/Wulfric05: Doesn't this encourage our adversaries to go all-in on nukes since they'll die either way? Though, I'm not sure if there's any left that doesn't already have a bunch. Truly the greatest long-term investment. [+6] u/Paul_Robert_: The us has another chat, where it talks about how dumb all the other countries are. Unfortunately, it accidentally added all of the other countries into the signal group chat 💀 [+6] u/One_Impression_2253: we are going to be stuck between 680 and 687.5 all week 😂 [+6] u/ResolutionAny8159: Let’s see if it pays off cotton [+6] u/donkeybray: Breaking News: Japan was the mastermind in Khamenei's death, Nikkei sinks [+6] u/Historical_Bother274: The FIFA peace price doesn't mean what it used to do [+6] u/rawdigga: Bears dropping faster than Iran's air defenses. [+6] u/leomeng: Pure hopium. But I’m happy I sold some spec stuff [+6] u/Free-Championship828: the boggleheads and FIRE bots gonna be adjusting their projected retirement date 6 - 12 months out [+6] u/glisteningoxygen: Got assigned Friday. Thank you to the kind soul who took my share and gave me a pile of cash. Look forward to buying them back at 10% off in a few hours xox [+6] u/turdhurler89: How cool would it be if spy opened at 650? Pretty cool [+5] u/SwiftSG1: Operation epic ber trap [+5] u/CoC_Axis_of_Evil: Pavlov conditioning is the only way to explain this market. When the oligarchs consolidate power, things generally stay up. When their grip on power is threatened by organized labor, they punish us with inflation etc. and it leaves us desperate for work. They repurpose our healthcare to pay for more wars that only benefit a few mega capitalists. [+5] u/randomnameforme123: DESPITE ALL LOGIC AND REASON LET MU OPEN $430 PLEASE MM PLEASE