▶ Full Post Text
[+7] u/Wowmuchrya: Bol waiting for “Taco” tweet but instead at 7:30 he’s gona hold up the tariff board again LMAO
[+7] u/LasyKuuga: Some of you weren’t prepared for this much winning and it shows
[+5] u/Fit_Neighborhood9251: Spy to 600 before 700 is turning to spy to 500 before 700 again.
[+54] u/MissMatriarch: You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. This level of manipulation HAS to be illegal.
[+37] u/Roxorek: Iran will probably say in few hours that they havent spoke to trump at all haha
[+33] u/PleaseSirOneMoreTurn: Lmao postponing strikes until the market closes on Friday.
[+25] u/Beneficial-Tax-1776: IRANIAN MEDIA SAYS THERE WAS NO DIRECT OR INDIRECT CONTACT WITH TRUMP AND CLAIMS HE WITHDREW AFTER THREATENING TO ATTACK WEST ASIA ENERGY FACILITIES.
[+25] u/Moepenmoes: For those who missed it: Iran just said there was NO contact with Trump admin at all, even though he said 5 minutes ago there was.
[+24] u/sailortyx56: IRANIAN MEDIA SAYS THERE WAS NO DIRECT OR INDIRECT CONTACT WITH 🥭 AND CLAIMS HE WITHDREW AFTER THREATENING TO ATTACK WEST ASIA ENERGY FACILITIES - Bloomberg
😂
[+23] u/Soffatjockis: This shit is completely untradeable.
This demented fruit needs to go.
[+22] u/Moepenmoes: THERE WAS NO DIRECT OR INDIRECT CONTACT WITH TRUMP AND CLAIMS HE WITHDREW AFTER THREATENING TO ATTACK WEST ASIA ENERGY FACILITIES - Iranian Media
Say bye to the green dildo any second again.
[+22] u/DufflebagJoe: Bers crying market manipulation 🤣🤣 they are correct.
[+21] u/BFox1982: Remember, he says whatever the fuck he wants. This doesn't mean shit.
[+21] u/PleaseSirOneMoreTurn: You can tell it’s a real peace agreement because it was written in a tweet with grammatical errors.
[+20] u/BoringButUniqueUser: Market manipulation at its finest. “Witch” “i am please”
[+20] u/techlogger: The key question is: does 🇮🇷 knows about those “successful talks”?
[+20] u/Fhyzikz: I HAD A WONDERFUL CONVERSATION WITH MYSELF IN THE MIRROR. 5 DAY PAUSE. CALLS
[+18] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: I AM PLEASE TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST. BASED ON THE TENOR AND TONE OF THESE IN DEPTH, DETAILED, AND CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS, WITCH WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK, I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD, SUBJECT TO THE SUCCESS OF THE ONGOING MEETINGS AND DISCUSSIONS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
[+18] u/throwawaydonaldinho: HAAHAAHAH
He realised he cant hit the plants during market hours.
“Postponed for 5 days”
“Friday after futures close so my handlers portfolios are safe and they can reduce risk this week.”
[+17] u/good-times-: Some bears still drinking coffee and have no idea
[+17] u/7fingersDeep: I can only blame the morons who believe this shit. How many times do you have to be told lies before you finally lose all faith.
[+17] u/throwaway_tendies: “Trade talks going well” all over again LMAO.
[+17] u/Jacobpapi: I AM PLEASE TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST. BASED ON THE TENOR AND TONE OF THESE IN DEPTH, DETAILED, AND CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS, WITCH WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK, I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD, SUBJECT TO THE SUCCESS OF THE ONGOING MEETINGS AND DISCUSSIONS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP
[+16] u/Heavy-Imagination506: Then Iran comes out saying
“THERE HAS BEEN NO TALKS LMAO”
Classic
[+16] u/Weekly_One8412: every headline the past week:
"Trump announces ultimatum "
"Iran refuses to give"
"Missile strikes hit"
Trump today:
"Everything is going great, peace soon!"
[+16] u/fredditf: IRANIAN MEDIA SAYS THERE WAS NO DIRECT OR INDIRECT CONTACT WITH TRUMP AND CLAIMS HE WITHDREW AFTER THREATENING TO ATTACK WEST ASIA ENERGY FACILITIES.
[+16] u/Beelzebussin: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+15] u/gorilla148: What the fuck was that? 600 point green dildo? Can someone explain why that happened
[+15] u/Damandalorianway: Insider trademaxxing
[+15] u/throwawaydonaldinho: “Postponed 5 days”
“I cant hit during market hours, Baron is trapped long from friday let him close ill hit friday after close”
[+15] u/habfranco: It's obvious someone told him "just say anything, otherwise the market will crash". He's been bashing Iran all over the weekend (while he was supposed to have "productive talks"?), and as soon as pre-market opens in red he says this...
[+15] u/sck178: Dear lord. This market literally just takes everything this guy says as gospel lol
[+14] u/MeadowCoyote: Oh wow he's postponing for a "5 day period," guess that's in 5 days? Let me count... Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday... Friday.
Wow. And the market closes on Friday? And that'll give him 2 more days after that for the market to be closed to absorb any market crash after nothing changes with the war?
And then he can give some positive update 2 hours before the market opens again the following Monday?
Interesting...
[+14] u/AlGAdams: Finally, our time has come 🌈 🐻
Edit: Posted seconds before whatever the hell just happened
[+14] u/Mwraith2: Wtf just happened I just made £10k in 5 minutes
[+14] u/Senior_Professional4: JUST STOPPED GIVING A BLOW JOB AT WENDYS AND DROVE AWAY IN A LAMBO
[+14] u/throwaway_tendies: “Dow futures jump 1,000 points after DJT says U.S. and Iran have held ‘productive’ talks”
Lol ain’t no one talking to him.
[+14] u/Comfortable_Guitar: Does Iran know about these talks
[+14] u/UsernameTaken_123: Is Iran aware these "talks"?
[+14] u/arbitraryBlue: I need Iran to come out and confirm statements made by the president, which is a wild thing to say lol
[+14] u/Kashabowiekid: Iran comes out tomorrow saying. We ain’t fucking talking. And keeps launching missies. For sure
[+13] u/throwawaydonaldinho: HAHAHAHA
He realised Iran isnt taking the bait with the ultimatum and he cant actually do shit because Iran has the world by the balls.
🌮d out of his threat within 24 hours. This dude single handedly showing the world USA does not have the control it illisioned it does through the years.
Yeah, Chinese century is here.
[+13] u/Roflcopter71: To be honest I was hoping the pump was because he died.
[+13] u/Few-Frosting-4213: No confirmation on Iran's side confirming this.
[+13] u/PleaseSirOneMoreTurn: “Remember, it’s not a lie if you believe it”
— Sun Tzu.
[+13] u/LongroddMcHugendong: The guy is utterly, demonstrably, proven to be a lying sack of shit. It’s astonishing that his tweets can still do this to the market.
[+13] u/trainwreck001: ALL IN ON THE BIGGEST LIE MONGO HAS TOLD TO DATE.
SHORTING THIS BS GOOD TALKS STATEMENT.
OIL $300
[+12] u/looool_k_libtard: Literally what the fuck just happened lmao my port was -3% and now I’m green
[+12] u/Warmake: Market reacting so violently to 1 egomaniac with dementia is great.
[+12] u/Rolling_in_the_Dip: !banbet SPY +25% 48h
[+12] u/averagetoddler: if this is not manipulation then what is
[+12] u/aftherith: BEARS SEEN RETREATING INTO THE METAVERSE
[+11] u/Priceplayer: Imagine being a ber looking at pre market thinking puts will print then getting wrecked in a matter of seconds
[+11] u/BFox1982: Market mooning based on a tweet where the President of the United States of America used the word "witch" when he meant which. Welcome to Idiocracy, my friends.
[+11] u/Damandalorianway: The crazy part is him and his billionaire made more billions off this tweet while us poors are just waking up
inside trademaxxing
[+11] u/Trashpanda7193: Iran needs to say they haven’t held talks, it’d be hilarious
[+11] u/snspro: ITS GONNA ELEVATOR DOWN WHEN IRAN RESPOND THAT NO TALKS TOOK PLACE LMAO
[+11] u/sloanemonroe: And he says five day pause. Gee, I wonder why five days. Because the market closes again in five days for the weekend. Pathetic
[+11] u/NameltHunny: Little early for a TACO but very much expected
[+11] u/flimsydutchesss: Trump lying out his ass as usual
[+11] u/Bam2458: His boys are making a shit ton of cash on calls today
[+11] u/FindingZen4: My portfolio just swung $10k in the matter of minutes
[+11] u/ShikariV: Iran has already denied any such conversations took place, so enjoy the 2 hour taco before hostilities resume again.
[+10] u/CMDR_Shepard96: What the actual fuck has happened
I went for a shower
HAHAHAHA HE TACO'D
I bought oil stocks at 4:58pm on Friday. Why am I not surprised.
[+10] u/Pitiful_Bedroom_6619: BREAKING NEWS: MANGO ordered an attack on bers
[+10] u/Suicidesdoor: This guy is just toying with the market, America is beyond cooked
[+10] u/OkResponsibility2470: Last Friday I told some regard here I bought calls cause I knew 🥭 would taco and he said something like “you think wars are unilateral? Sweet summer child”
🥭 proceeds to unilaterally declare a truce and pump the market LMAOOOOO
[+10] u/Disconn3cted: Once everyone realizes that Iran didn't agree to anything it'll crash again lol
[+10] u/UnknownM007: Let’s see how far back down this comes once the Iranians respond
[+10] u/Brilliant_Object_847: Wait for the irani foreign minister to tweet “lol wut, we haven’t talked”
[+10] u/chuck_portis: Whenever Trump gives a deadline. It's a deadline for him giving up.
[+10] u/ConstantSpace5809: Lmaooooo, now Iran saying he's full of shit
[+10] u/borkdpasito: Oil on sale boys
Pausing attacks before Monday open for 5 days is such a lie hahaha
[+10] u/WhiteSpots: This guy will say and do anything to try and reverse a down market
[+10] u/7fingersDeep: Nearly $20 reversal on TSLA on this fake news.
Nothing is real.
[+10] u/2centsofhumor: this is the "90 deals in 90 days" from last year lmao
[+10] u/AegonTheMeh: What are the chances Iran issues some kind of statement denying that negotiations are taking place
Trump calls them ungrateful bastards and we are back to threatening strikes within 24 hours
[+10] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: I AM PLEASED TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST. BASED ON THE TENOR AND TONE OF THESE IN DEPTH, DETAILED, AND CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS, WHICH WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK, I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD, SUBJECT TO THE SUCCESS OF THE ONGOING MEETINGS AND DISCUSSIONS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
Update
Not sure what he changed but he deleted the first one.
[+10] u/degenforlife69: Can someone inform Iran so that they are at least aware of it. LMAO
[+10] u/Material-Entrance425: I just got off the phone with Iran they said mods are ghey
[+10] u/yyn1999: Believe it or not... oil long
[+10] u/starcom_magnate: Bibi could do the funniest thing right now.
[+10] u/sloanemonroe: Goddamn, I hope Iran waits until five minutes after open to say they have no idea what he’s talking about so I can get the best puts of my life.
[+10] u/Rolltide43: Basically a $20 swing on Spy because a guy makes a tweet.
[+10] u/Rolling_in_the_Dip: The new Supreme Leader has confirmed talks have been productive, despite still being in a coma
[+10] u/throwawaydonaldinho: Does the market think Iran is going to just let allies use Hormuz because he 🌮d?
Does Iran even know about these “talks”?
[+10] u/blindrubberchicken: I feel like today is exit liquidity day. Tough to imagine a global recession not resulting from this fiasco.
[+9] u/50Asperger_60Dumb: For the thousand time shorting is dangerous
[+9] u/Kooky-Nail7505: Damn I literally watched it happen too. Just checking SPY for the morning and 10 seconds later boooooom.
Guess his friends bought the dip and calls expiring this week.
[+9] u/rd26: And, we have achieved TACO.
[+9] u/aaapod: he wants out of this so bad LMAO
[+9] u/HomeMadeToast: He spelled which as “witch” 🧙 🤣🤣
[+9] u/saintmitchy: Iran calling him a liar lmfaooo a true TACO moment
[+9] u/A55BAG: Israelis and Iranians were duking it out last night. US postponing attacks on Iranian energy infra does not mean that end of the war is imminent.
[+9] u/platinumarks: Market manipulation rally already fading
[+9] u/AegonTheMeh: Mango two day ago: They are all dead! No wants wants to lead Iran, there is no one to talk too.
Today: Negotiations(which have apparently been taking place) going great!
[+9] u/Actual_Difference617: There were sudden stock spikes before he even posted on truth social.
[+9] u/saintmitchy: Your telling me same guy that gave Putin multiple “two week” deadlines chickened out? That can’t be right?
Calls saved.
[+9] u/Fun_Purpose6972: Tariffs: TACO
China: TACO
Greenland: TACO
Iran: TACO
[+9] u/n1ck90z: Imagine Iran responding "we are not aware of any talks with the US"
[+9] u/NapNapNapNap: I have a bad feeling about this
[+9] u/Moist_Chain_POL: i bought the dip literally 2 hrs ago! 😭😭😭 gracias Taco!
[+9] u/spsteve: Iran is denying any talks. Tread lightly. This is trump manipulating the market, but the market will figure it out quickly.
[+9] u/mayorolivia: I AM PLEASE TO ANNOUNCE WITCH 🧙
[+9] u/ImLemonized: We just received a doubtful information about postponed attacks and market is behaving like a war is over wtf
[+9] u/FuzzyStable2974: The market is up huge because something that Trump said would happen after hours is now not going to happen? So nothing changed since Friday market close but were mooning?
[+9] u/Sad-Airman: What worries me more is now due to the strong gap up if this fails we will fall much more aggressively instead of this slow -1% stuff
[+9] u/Czyzzle: Who did he negotiate with? He said they were all ded!
[+9] u/Agitated-Lobster-623: Investors really are the most gullible people in the world. See you guys next week when the war ends for the 27th time 😂
[+9] u/No_Fig_7835: I'm sure DJT is a reliable source of information at this time.
[+9] u/Roxorek: if it turns out he's lying again and just manipulating markets to enrich his family and friends, he needs to be gone asap
[+9] u/iMakeGOODinvestmemts: Iran now denying all this
[+8] u/UnivalveX: is Iran part of these discussions?
[+8] u/DH64: he couldn’t do this shit on market open?!?!
[+8] u/arbitraryBlue: I get my news here, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?
[+8] u/Reasonable_Roger: Long bonds hit 5% yield. That's the panic trigger. Bessent told him he had to taco or shit was about to hit the fan.
Bond holders are the real power.
[+8] u/hungerofpine: he really said "witch" lmao
[+8] u/tendiemountain: Port went from -2% to +6.5%
Feels good man.
[+8] u/throwaway273322: I dont know man TACO may be doing this so that his buddies can get an out at a better price
[+8] u/nigofe: moment of silence for your puts, rip
[+8] u/BerryExpress: The extinction of a million bears.
All the Jedi in the Galaxy felt this one.
[+8] u/sloanemonroe: Wish the market was open so I can buy puts right now. Iran probably comes out and says they haven’t even talked to him
[+8] u/Asleep_Salad_3275: 🐻just got nuked out of existence
[+8] u/Accomplished-Mango92: i am please to report that the united states of america, and the country of iran, have had, over the last two days, very good and productive conversations regarding a complete and total resolution of our hostilities in the middle east. based on the tenor and tone of these in depth, detailed, and constructive conversations, WITCH (he actually wrote witch) will continue throughout the week, i have instructed the department of war to postpone any and all military strikes against iranian power plants and energy infrastructure for a five day period, subject to the success of the ongoing meetings and discussions. thank you for your attention to this matter! 🥭
[+8] u/Snoo23417: And this is why you don't hold options overnight! We are already at an informational disadvantage, but these kinds of moves are next level.
[+8] u/Pretty_Ad_7885: TACO is using RSI to time his posts lol
[+8] u/M18PowerKing: >**WITCH** WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK
jfc, 🥭 is so dumb
[+8] u/KahlVados: First president to plan wars around the stock market. Tough talk resumes Friday after close.
[+8] u/pussinbuuts: the regards who think people gonna give a shit even if Iran says they didnt have talks
bro pulled the same shit with a phantom phone call from China in 2019 and no one gave a shit even if China denied the calls
[+8] u/Homeless-Coward-2143: I guess it's good for my port, but this obvious manipulation is not the coolest thing I've ever seen.
[+8] u/Random-Reddit-Guy: I cannot believe markets still move like this based on what this regard says
[+8] u/NoiseySheep: I’m jealous of how much money all the trump insiders are making insider trading.
lol puts out a threatening tweet on Saturday with deliberate timeline to make Monday tank, and then puts out a tweet about war ending on Monday to screw all the non insiders.
[+8] u/arbitraryBlue: Watch Iran come out and say they never talked to the US lmao
[+8] u/Disconn3cted: The people yearn to be lied to
[+8] u/Amazing-Topic2827: Red by open still in play
[+8] u/Mean-Evidence-4056: premarketure ejaculation
[+8] u/Apprehensive_Seat_61: What a fake pump. Not buying it
[+8] u/SergeantThreat: Some day the market will not react to whatever this lying turd says, but it is not this day!
[+8] u/LoosePussyLucy: What’s with the sudden dildo? Is he ded finally?
[+8] u/zoeyzimp: Our timeline is fucking insane 😭 POTUS announces ww3 canceled over Truth Social and global markets react like the little bitches they are hahaha
[+8] u/callmeladygrey: NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS BUT IT’S PROVOCATIVE.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER. PRESIDENT DJT.
[+8] u/Solid-Season9984: I felt a disturbance in the Force, as if millions of bers suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.
[+8] u/Mindless_Map2883: @realdonaldtrump
**”I AM PLEASE TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST.”**
Source: r/oldpeoplefacebook
[+8] u/Virtual_Secretary_98: Anyone else not buying it this time?
[+8] u/saccotac: Donnie won the war; what an absolute legend. What can’t he do.
[+8] u/No-Consequence7985: dude what the actual fuck is going on? this is truly one of the most unprecedented times ever
[+8] u/NeotroO: Trump the Madlad did it, The Ultimate TACO of his Lifetime.
[+8] u/Upset-Motor-2602: Not as legendary as April 7/9th 2025 TACO, but I learned my lesson that day.
[+8] u/All_FIREdUp: He fucking TACO’d 🫵😂
Iran has the U.S by their pussy
[+8] u/FuzzyStable2974: Imagine your moronic tweets have this much power. No wonder dude is so full of himself. He probably jerks it to his Truth Social.
[+8] u/throwawaydonaldinho: OFC Iran says he lying and US is just a pussy but markets not gonna care about that one.
[+7] u/codespyder: And so the market manipulation continues
[+7] u/UnintelligibleThing: The fuck. I made 700 USD in a min.
[+7] u/Commercial_Seat_3704: This right here is why you just can't be short with 🥭 at the helm. If you're bearish just sit in cash because a single tweet can wipe you out.
[+7] u/AllianceOrTheHorde: I wonder whether Iran knows about this ceasefire?
[+7] u/WSB-mods-are-: And just like that......another +50 YouTube finance guru doomers deleted their weekend uploads.
[+7] u/T0th3M00NW3G0: That is the biggest candle I’ve ever seen in my life
[+7] u/k3t4mine: Wouldn't be buying this until Iran confirms, and ships start moving again.
[+7] u/Senior_Professional4: FOR THE FIRSTTIME IN MY LIFE I ACTUALLY BOUGHT THE BOTTOM
[+7] u/NotMyMainLoLzy: They really said “Pump it”
Plunge protection team is crazy. I don’t even want to play anymore, obvious manipulation. 3% in a couple of seconds counter to all market conditions and news?
[+7] u/UnivalveX: holy mother of all fucking tacos
[+7] u/bearwithme23: what the flying green fuck
[+7] u/mensty: "Postponing strikes against Iranian power plants and energy infrastructure for a period of 5 days, pending productive talks"
How long do you think this lasts for? Lol.
[+7] u/sloanemonroe: I guess it’s pretty simple. If Iran comes out and says , “the strait is closed” then it all reverses.
[+7] u/arbitraryBlue: I swear mods are cucks
[+7] u/Roflcopter71: Shots just got cheaper. Time to load up.
[+7] u/AMX_revue: Any Iranians here to check local news
[+7] u/TowelOld743: 🥭 in negotiation with his intrusive thoughts
[+7] u/AgitatedJump8459: Iran already saying its not true lmfaooo
[+7] u/PutSpreadDaddi69: This got 6 downvotes
https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/s/bvjybhzJF9
[+7] u/throwawaydonaldinho: What a pussy lmao after seeing Iran aint taking the bait he realised he cant actually follow through on the threats.
Iran has the world by the balls.
A country which has been sanctioned for the past 40 years showing the world US aint all that.
[+7] u/ProudestPeasant: donnie will do anything to save the markets including lie
[+7] u/IXI_Bman: Every fucking move is AH holy fucking shit. What a fucking pos market lmaoo
[+7] u/borkdpasito: Oil is rocketing back. Nobody believes this shit
[+7] u/Coogiez: What just happened lmao
[+7] u/PutVivid6052: THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE, I TOO CAN WRITE IN ALL CAPS. THANK YOU.
[+7] u/Disconn3cted: Pump is fading on Iran saying there wasn't a deal. It could still be red by open.
[+7] u/Flexlex724: Vix calls literally free money
No way this is the end
[+7] u/Top_Cockroach313: +5% spy watch and learn boys
[+7] u/UnivalveX: Khamenei and Netanyahu calling the shots now, this guy's just a muppet with a few social media accounts
[+7] u/spectra444: Ber Bots going crazy rn lmaoooo
[+7] u/Rocky_The_Champion: Oil dead. Bers dead. Stonks go up.
[+7] u/tearslikesn0w: Watch iran come out and say ‘no, we didnt’
Down goes the market again
[+7] u/Fkn1v1mem8: Thank you 🥭 for a good entry for shorts
[+7] u/patmccock86: Market manipulation has a whole new meaning now
[+7] u/yyn1999: If he can TACO an entire war this guy is the GREATEST TACO on earth
[+7] u/Comfortable-Sky7801: Literally trillions of dollars have been moved in 30 minutes
[+7] u/OkResponsibility2470: Lmao, are these trading algos this regarded? If mango just keeps tweeting that talks are progressing can he pump spy to 700?
[+7] u/_jotaha_: This smells like bullshit
[+7] u/DingleJingle_: Are these constructive conversations in the room with us right now??
[+7] u/Competitive-Water944: Red by close. He lying
[+7] u/looool_k_libtard: 🥭 team saw yields ripping and his handlers called to stop this shit
[+7] u/softboiledjadepotato: Every article is just, 🌮 made this truth social post, with zero follow through or confirmation Iran is actually engaged in "very good and productive conversations"
[+6] u/FinanialGambler777: The BULLS 🐂 are coming
[+6] u/PleaseSirOneMoreTurn: “Iceberg right ahead”
— Warren Buffett.
[+6] u/Godzirraaaaaaaa: “Sometimes you have to escalate to de-escalate”
[+6] u/Priceplayer: What just happened lol
[+6] u/Ernest_EA: wtf is this manipulation 🐮
[+6] u/Kashabowiekid: Hahahahahahahahahh there is the TACO
[+6] u/rcantu314: Imagine being a smug bear holding puts all weekend, get bent boys
[+6] u/kim82352: > US Pres Trump On Iran: I Have Instructed Department Of War To Postpone Any And All Military Strikes Against Iranian Power Plants And Energy Infrastructure For A Five Day Period, Subject To Success Of Ongoing Meetings And Discussions
[+6] u/borkdpasito: Don’t get cocky Bols
We’ve seen this before
[+6] u/TreGet234: Barron will be the richest man alive at this rate.
[+6] u/M4roon: Not to be that guy nitpicking the tweet that ended ww3, but he did misspell which to witch.. lol
[+6] u/rm0277: TRADE TALKS GOING WELL!
We’re gonna fall for this again huh? And I say this holding calls 😂
[+6] u/PerniciousPeyton: Wait for Iran to say “but we didn’t agree to anything at all…?” 🤷♂️
[+6] u/FinanialGambler777: Barron bought calls 3 hours ago
[+6] u/1_4terlifecrisis: Lol there's been no talks. He had no cards
[+6] u/jonneh: He couldn’t have waited a few more hours?! The CUNT
[+6] u/KaotikRush0198: Great opportunity this week to buy puts. You know how Mango Man says this stuff. Remember the last two weeks?
[+6] u/G0RD0N_CLARK: Holy shit what happened?
[+6] u/Dry-Piece7931: what the fuck just happened? 5% candles in 5 minutes? Did the US conquer Iran? wtf
[+6] u/throwawayanon1252: I’m gonna buy more puts at open tbh. He’s gonna tack on this too
[+6] u/TowelOld743: 🥭 announces he will postpone attacks, for 5 days, that's the news
[+6] u/Ghost-1969: Now this is Computer
[+6] u/Senior_Professional4: BRO WOKE UP, LOOKED AND FUTERS AND WAS LIKE 'FUCK NAH'
[+6] u/robotpoet: I mean... Market closing hours is like straight up bullying... Why is there closing hours where the market can move... I know this is banal stuff but in 20 years of finance in my life it just blows my mind every time there is a move like this. It is so blatantly manipulative.
[+6] u/Bam2458: Bears, your tweet has arrived.
[+6] u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister: What the hell just happened to oil? War is over, strait open again, US and Iran are besties now?
[+6] u/ResponsibleAnt8049: almost positive it’s purely market manipulation cause iran has said they will not entertain any deal like this repeatedly.
[+6] u/Weekly_One8412: can't belive this is actually how the market works now...
[+6] u/oouncolaoo: 🥭 begging for another FIFA Peace Prize 🏆
[+6] u/Diamond-Solo: Are these productive talks in the room with us right now?
[+6] u/ImpressiveAmount4684: Must be nice tweeting bullshit to cash out and short the fuck out of everyone after LMAO
[+6] u/throwawayanon1252: I think it’s a lie lol. Iran has shown no signs of wanting to negotiate
Just waiting for Iran to go hahaha lol nope
[+6] u/MissMatriarch: 🥭’s buddies got in for a fair price,
Dump the casino!
[+6] u/AegonTheMeh: This is the fakest tweet yet
He’s doing the thing where he just says something and hopes everyone abides by it
[+6] u/NapNapNapNap: I AM PLEASE TO REPORT
[+6] u/Lastchoicename: What the fuck is this shit? We crash for a whole 8 hours of overnight market, Trump's cronies buy everything cheap then before market open he tweets some bullshit that pumps the market?
[+6] u/extrabigbrain: remember when you were a teenager and trolled forums in the early 2000s, but you grew up.
sadly 🥭 hasn’t and just trolls real life
[+6] u/WorkingCorrect1062: Just before the market open what a scammer
[+6] u/wildbill4693: Trump backing down good for market in the short term but absolutely cooking the US’s geopolitical standing in the long term. China can defeat us just by affecting the price of oil and the stock market. If they shut down the Taiwan strait tomorrow, we would do almost as much as Europe is doing now for reopening the Strait of Hormuz.
[+6] u/WSB-mods-are-: And they say the stock market is manipulated 😂 ridiculous!
[+6] u/dufusmembrane: and just like that with one misspelled and grammatically incoherent text, were all saved
[+6] u/OkAlternative7705: No wonder the market wasn’t doing a classic Sunday night dump. His friends were buying to sell after news. 🫵 got fooled again
[+6] u/TokiAsuma: What the actual fuck just happened
[+6] u/Historical_Bother274: Gotta respect the taco, doesn't change anything though
[+6] u/Fhyzikz: Does Iran know about these talks? Lol
[+6] u/Inevitable_Top4227: Check your assholes bears, that was a massive dildo and no lube.
[+6] u/Jealous_Archer_4522: QQQ now trading like a penny stock
[+6] u/7fingersDeep: Gotta love that the TACO in chief is talking about regime change and then a week later he’s like “sowwy, would you like to chat about your feelings my Persian senpai?”
[+6] u/duma0610: A lot of bers coping this morning.
[+6] u/ZealousidealSector19: Ill believe it when ships move.
[+6] u/Jeremy5cahill: The first casualty of war is your portfolio
[+6] u/NameltHunny: You can tell it’s going well by the way he lifted sanctions off the country he’s bombing
[+6] u/ConstantSpace5809: Did he just do that so Treasury could cover their oil short?
[+6] u/The_Alan_Greenspan: Bulls celebrating are still selling at open, along with everyone else. No way market has the conviction to hold up through the week.
[+6] u/RogerBalderer: It is crazy how pegged algos are to trumps language. You would think eventually the programmers would realize what he says is nonsense
[+6] u/Educational-Cat-2553: definitely not market manipulation
[+6] u/Urzuck: Wtf is happening, any news? Did he taco?
[+6] u/Guhbigly: Why doesn’t he do this shit during market hours. How else will I be load up on cheap oil calls 😔😔
[+6] u/bigboybigbat: Taco of all tacos. Thanking the gods that I sold my puts early on Friday
[+6] u/throwawaydonaldinho: So far every major escalation was weekend after futures close and every de escalation was during market hours.
He literally postponed by 5 days at monday open, you be the judge.
[+6] u/Me-Regarded: We will never again have such an amazing trading environment. Enjoy these last couple years... Assuming 🥭 doesn't kill us in the process
[+6] u/Impossible-Fun2027: So now we are buddies with Iran?
[+6] u/ProudestPeasant: iran isn't even at the table to engage in talks, you thick-faced liar
[+6] u/Rolling_in_the_Dip: Big green candle Trump played you all
[+6] u/zg44: Art of the Taco
Trump talks tough on Iran all weekend, sees pre-market red, and then folds completely.
[+6] u/Urzuck: So basically we are once again trusting this retard that will change his opinion in 30 minutes or Iran will say that there aren't negotiations lmao
[+6] u/AirwickS: Iran didn’t blink — and now threatening US bond market.
🟧 looks weaker than ever. He must be furious — we might see a power plant attack after all.
[+6] u/Dbestinvest: Welp, my 15 year old was right!! Stock market = gambling 😂🤣
[+6] u/tika_dengu: One tweet changes everything
>World in energy crisis worse than 1970s oil shocks combined, IEA head says
[+6] u/Common_Ad_3059: Really Trump could of waited until markets open LOL
[+6] u/negan90: Can't wait for you all to get rugged in 5 days time 😂
[+6] u/aaapod: entire market moving like a meme stock
[+6] u/Deshen87: Just give him his peace prize now so he can relax
[+6] u/Due-Dirt-8428: What are the odds they’ve just been talking to some random Indian dude all weekend
[+6] u/Mysteriouz_111: Bro wtf. Everything is controlled by Trump now.
“Investment in equities are subject to tweets by Trump” . Please read all tweets carefully before taking overnight positions”
[+6] u/OpeningRip7184: Are these "SUCCESSFUL TALKS" in the room with us.
[+6] u/throwaway273322: Does anyone offer swaps to hedge the risk on TACO‑Squared in case TACO tacos again on the current TACO?
[+5] u/mayorolivia: Hormuz will open itself
[+5] u/samaritan1331_: this is why boomers hold bonds
[+5] u/kawkface: So we got < 24 hours before mango goes through with his tweet?
[+5] u/kawkface: This is fucking disgusting bro
[+5] u/throwawaydonaldinho: HAHAHAH he 🌮d out as expected. The ultimatum he realised he cant do.
[+5] u/bhmantan: I can't stop laughing lmao
[+5] u/pewpewicelance: haha trump probably sold those puts to open on friday
[+5] u/pain474: I am so pissed that pumps like this happen in premarket. By the time market opens we just theta gang the whole day. So fucking annoying.
[+5] u/Mean_Category_8933: Hahaha TACO TACO TACO TACO
[+5] u/kawkface: Today is gonna be volatile af
[+5] u/NunuTitobu: After we all go broke, WSB will turn into the world's largest mutual therapy and emotional support thread
[+5] u/EatMaTesticles: > I AM PLEASE TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST. BASED ON THE TENOR AND TONE OF THESE IN DEPTH, DETAILED, AND CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS, WITCH WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK, I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD, SUBJECT TO THE SUCCESS OF THE ONGOING MEETINGS AND DISCUSSIONS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP
[+5] u/AgitatedJump8459: di trump say something????
[+5] u/TreGet234: WITCH WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK
[+5] u/AMX_revue: Spy earnings double beat
[+5] u/DressPrestigious7088: THANK YOU DONALD PUMP 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
[+5] u/wallstreetstonks: Bruh didn’t even wait till taco Tuesday
[+5] u/Trashpanda7193: What the actual fuck
[+5] u/According-Page8618: spy pumps 4% and we are back to levels not seen.. 2 days agbo lol
[+5] u/Put_Er_There_Sport: Couldnt wait til 10am for everyone to get rich off gambling. What a dick. I was gonna buy calls at open but fuck.
[+5] u/Dull_Broccoli1637: Lmao the market manipulation is insane
[+5] u/lostinspacs: No way this shit lasts
[+5] u/platinumarks: Another blatant case of market manipulation by "Truth Social," when really he didn't say anything new? Who could have expected this?
[+5] u/OkResponsibility2470: Inb4 Israel blows up the plant anyway
[+5] u/Critical_Survey_975: Can someone fucking link the news to this
[+5] u/Purple-Image9960: The great bear extinction event of 2026 has arrived
[+5] u/WholeFront2789: Is the war over or are we just overreacting to what trump says
[+5] u/88Babies: Why is there never a good announcement during trading hours? 🤦🏾♂️
[+5] u/OptionsHuduga: Imagine waking up today with excitement, hope and false confidence that ur puts r sure to cash lol. FUCK U BER!
[+5] u/Bandabinda: Never doubt that Trump will always TACO. Thanks for playing bears
[+5] u/btw1217: Incredible opportunity for puts here. Trump obviously just trying to buy time with the market while waiting for ground troops to arrive.
[+5] u/PleaseSirOneMoreTurn: Trump’s runs this war like a fucking kid turning his Xbox off before school and then on again when he gets back home.
[+5] u/Johnny_Menace: BEARS hahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahaha
[+5] u/italianrage138: premarket taco right on queue
[+5] u/justarandumthrowaway: Iran talks going well
[+5] u/NYGiants181: HEY BEARS FUCKING SHOW YOURSELVES!!!!!!!!!
[+5] u/DateUser66: holy shit my stock went from -3% 1hr ago to +3% lol
[+5] u/Optimisticz: my guy tacoed on a monday xD
[+5] u/peelemme: the tweet right at premarket to fuck over all the bears lmaooooo
[+5] u/Impressive-Object271: He didn’t even wait 48 hrs
[+5] u/StonklordBenno: What a time to be alive..
[+5] u/Happy-Champion1661: bro didn't play fair, wtf. Taco tuesday, what the fuck is a taco monday
anyway SPY700 eow
[+5] u/Impossible_Land_9224: 🥭JUST MADE ME 20 THOUSAND FUCKING DOLLARSSS
[+5] u/AliceNullptr: WTF happened??? I was preparing for liquidation 10 minutes ago 😅
[+5] u/jonneh: What should we call this new 24-hour taco?
[+5] u/Sorry-Usual6906: 44->66 in a few minutes
[+5] u/_IsNull: Dear trump. Let me close my position before you taco again.
[+5] u/icein2017: In what world is postponing by 5 days an 2%+ gain lol
[+5] u/Ok-Barracuda39: For those wondering, Taco said that the US wont attack Iran/Iran Energy for at least 5 days now and that talks are going well.
[+5] u/ThrowAway405736294: Anyone curious why we randomly just pumped? This was posted on truth social like 12 minutes ago:
“I AM PLEASE TO REPORT THAT THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND THE COUNTRY OF IRAN, HAVE HAD, OVER THE LAST TWO DAYS, VERY GOOD AND PRODUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS REGARDING A COMPLETE AND TOTAL RESOLUTION OF OUR HOSTILITIES IN THE MIDDLE EAST. BASED ON THE TENOR AND TONE OF THESE IN DEPTH, DETAILED, AND CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS, WITCH WILL CONTINUE THROUGHOUT THE WEEK, I HAVE INSTRUCTED THE DEPARTMENT OF WAR TO POSTPONE ANY AND ALL MILITARY STRIKES AGAINST IRANIAN POWER PLANTS AND ENERGY INFRASTRUCTURE FOR A FIVE DAY PERIOD, SUBJECT TO THE SUCCESS OF THE ONGOING MEETINGS AND DISCUSSIONS. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP”
[+5] u/Roxorek: and orangeman's family got even richer in few minutes
[+5] u/Senior_Professional4: i just saw a homeless dude walk into the rolex shop
[+5] u/Quixotus: This market is giving such amazing opportunities to everyone... just buy low when it dumps, and then sell high on taco days
[+5] u/Johnny_Menace: SPY pumped $20 in 10 minutes LMAO!
[+5] u/Everythingisokey: Bro wtf is this shit???
[+5] u/Fun_Purpose6972: I FOMO'ed in. TACO trade is the best.
[+5] u/zg44: Trump pulling the mother of all Tacos now.
[+5] u/Happy-Champion1661: actually taco is super smart. He purposely tweeted on Friday after close, so that today's tweet would giga pump the mkt
4d chess right there
(it's not like he totally doesn't have a plan and got played by Iran)
[+5] u/Deadweight047: You guys still believes what he said?🤣🤣🤣🤣
[+5] u/Strange_Condition507: Red by close when everyone figures out trump lied, again.
[+5] u/Damandalorianway: Now all Iran has to do is say that we have not been in talks with the US
[+5] u/Ok-Koala-7582: The orange guy is lying to pump the markets. I don’t trust anything he says
[+5] u/pm_me_your_wheelz: Nah fuck this, shorted tf out of this spike
[+5] u/Commercial_Seat_3704: Can't wait to watch MSFT struggle to stay green today
[+5] u/ThrowAway405736294: I think I might take this opportunity to close all my positions at open and move to a savings account
[+5] u/RuthlessWolf: Who was right????!! Me! I was right! See that green!!!? I won
[+5] u/Neel_Crashkari: Please monitor the situation 🙏
[+5] u/Virtuoso_GT: Lmao, 🥭 just said Iran are negotiating.
My guess is that they're doing what the US did to them - get a good chunk into negotiations and then completely renege on it. Either that or there's simply no negotiation at all - the Iranians seemingly weren't interested, so why now? 🤷♂️
[+5] u/Fancy_Cattle_5914: How the fuck is HOOD only up <1%???? Piece of shit is like a 3x leverage of BTC and SPY movements, but only to the downside. Holy absolute pile of smelly shit. Fuck you HOOD.
[+5] u/Huge_Arachnid9052: What the hell is going on
[+5] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: No massive buys before the tweet. Sell the news incoming.
[+5] u/HDauthentic: Yeah that’s great and all but there’s only one problem
He’s LYING lmao
[+5] u/cardboard-junkie: Actually cruel to bears to show them -1% premarket only to rug it to +2.5%
[+5] u/Hot_Avocado_2701: Ah that tweet came earlier than I expected
[+5] u/Timely_Note_1904: How long until Iran says there have been no discussions and the Strait isn't opening
[+5] u/OkResponsibility2470: Damn Iran called him out fast as fuk
[+5] u/csr8765: Gonna be one of those days where QQQ is up 3% and MSFT is slightly red to flat. All those bag holders are gonna lose their minds
[+5] u/IllustriousPiano562: "If I just tell them things are going well can you like, not say anything? I'll be good."
[+5] u/Whatevs56: Sounds like a Taco but he’s just jawboning the market like he always does.
[+5] u/Sea_Character_9896: Anti taco missile fired
[+5] u/PureAlpha22: Surely everyone knows he’s lying
[+5] u/pussinbuuts: the first casualty of war is the truth
[+5] u/MrYOLOMcSwagMeister: Ok so definitely getting puts at open now lmao
[+5] u/NoiseySheep: Algos will dump again once they realise tweet was just market manipulation to help Barron make a few billion.
[+5] u/AideApprehensive7441: Hahahah this is fucking incredible. Can’t make this shit up, what a circus
[+5] u/borkdpasito: As soon as there’s one more drone attack it will drop like a rock
[+5] u/Advanced_Worry_5525: who knew that goal.of the war was to kill the bears 🐻
[+5] u/aaapod: that tweet is a complete bold faced lie lol
[+5] u/BadBoyBilbo: 48 hours
120 hours
What’s next 300 hours?
[+5] u/LongHealth: Looks like Iran was heavily underestimated. Sure you can destroy their buildings but they are doing 10x more damage to your economy.
[+5] u/zanzebar: once again retail getting shafted. should have waited till cash open to tweet he was TACOing.
[+5] u/PleaseSirOneMoreTurn: Does taco deserve the peace prize now after having successfully talked himself out of strikes on Iran in return for future considerations.
[+5] u/WSB-mods-are-: (Steve Urkel steps off Strait of Hormuz cruise ship and checks premarket) "Did I do thaaaaaaaat?"
[+5] u/Zerkron: I just finished brushing my teeth, is the war over? SPY +2% pre market is bonkers
[+5] u/Val44x: Might take out 50k on margin for Microsoft now
[+5] u/Bloomeyer: spy topping at $666.00 before falling is crazy
[+5] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: CUK is surging. People about to get CUK’d
[+5] u/jasherer: then the market will open and be flat all day. i hate this pre market trading shit
[+5] u/Johnny_Menace: ⢀⡴⠑⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣤⣤⣤⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠸⡇⠀⠿⡀⠀⠀⠀⣀⡴⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠑⢄⣠⠾⠁⣀⣄⡈⠙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡀⠁⠀⠀⠈⠙⠛⠂⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⡿⢿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⢀⡾⣁⣀⠀⠴⠂⠙⣗⡀⠀⢻⣿⣿⠭⢤⣴⣦⣤⣹⠀⠀⠀⢀⢴⣶⣆
⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⣮⣽⣾⣿⣥⣴⣿⣿⡿⢂⠔⢚⡿⢿⣿⣦⣴⣾⠁⠸⣼⡿
⠀⢀⡞⠁⠙⠻⠿⠟⠉⠀⠛⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣌⢤⣼⣿⣾⣿⡟⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⣾⣷⣶⠇⠀⠀⣤⣄⣀⡀⠈⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠉⠈⠉⠀⠀⢦⡈⢻⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣤⣽⡹⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠲⣽⡻⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣜⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣷⣶⣮⣭⣽⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣀⣀⣈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠃⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠻⠿⠿⠿⠿⠛⠉
[+5] u/aftherith: QQQ up almost 2.5 % Holy crap
[+5] u/Single-Distance: Bears are so pathetic😂 they are mad that their isn’t a full scale war for the next 5 days
[+5] u/peterpeer9: The war is over, again!!
[+5] u/larry_hoover01: Bloomberg more or less saying this is just made up in mango’s brain lol
[+5] u/Tyneuku: Damn pussied out of my 650 calls and was thankful like 20 minutes ago
[+5] u/IllustriousPiano562: Remember when unconditional surrender was the only acceptable outcome?
[+5] u/Significant_Speed854: If you own a stock that didn’t just pop, that’s a sign to sell it
[+5] u/idontmisstwice: imagine all the ppl that were short with no stop 😭
[+5] u/Dash_39: I mean regardless of the war.....the economic numbers still suck
[+5] u/Colloquial: CHINA TALKS GOING WELL
[+5] u/Ok-Piano8789: iran denies talking to him and are calling him a pussy 😂
[+5] u/tgff333: Expecting us to believe that people with 10M bounties on their heads negotiated with 🥭
[+5] u/Fun-Valuable-7355: Taco creating the exit liquidity
[+5] u/AirwickS: Israel ain’t gonna be happy lmao
[+5] u/horseisahorse: Isn't the USS Tripoli going to be getting there around the end of the week?
[+5] u/drmundojr: Iran was literally just striking Israel 3 hours ago and you guys believe Mango LMAO
[+5] u/throwaway273322: "IRANIAN MEDIA SAYS THERE WAS NO DIRECT OR INDIRECT CONTACT WITH TRUMP AND CLAIMS HE WITHDREW AFTER THREATENING TO ATTACK WEST ASIA ENERGY FACILITIES"
[+5] u/UnDemen: Bro, that TACO, never fails 🤡
[+43] u/jmc774: Reporter: "who are you having talks with?"
🥭: "you wouldnt know her, she goes to a different school"
[+28] u/orrangearrow: I am pleased to announce after positive talks with my broker that I have instructed them to postpone any margin calls for 5 days
My Broker:: "There have been no talks"
[+28] u/S0Anon: \*president blatantly manipulating\*
Mods: Noooooo dont talk politics!!
[+25] u/ring_of_slattern: 🥭: "just got off the phone with Iran and it's basically over"
markets: 📈📈📈📈
🇮🇷: "that literally never happened"
markets: 📉📈📈📈
[+24] u/Valkorion335786: What I love is how Iran is now seen as the rational country
While we are now perceived as the volatile crazy one
How the turn tables, have…
[+21] u/Wide_Neighborhood_49: I AM PLEASE TO ANMOUNCE THE US WILL NOT BE BOMBING IRAN POWER INFRASTRUCTURE BECAUSE ISRAEL IS ALREADY DOING IT. ONE OF THEIR DEAD LEADERS WAS SEEN HOLDING A WHITE HANKERCHIEF IN SATELLITE PHOTOS WHICH I AM CONSIDERING AS TOTAL SURRENDER. ALSO, I TOLD ERIC AND DON JR TO BUY CALLS ON FRIDAY IN ANTICIPATION OF THIS TWEET RIGHT BEFORE THE MARKET OPENS.
[+19] u/Doobie_Force: WSB used to have actual plays for the day, fundamentals, speculative plays, etc. Now it's just trash ass comments.
[+19] u/stuff_18: Fucking we living in such a weird timeline. We rather trust Iran regime words than POTUS 😂
[+18] u/Chlo-Motion: Who besides Fox News and farmers in Alabama are still regarded enough to believe 🥭 at this point
[+18] u/rebellion_ap: You guys are morons if you think Israel won't fuck this up on purpose
[+18] u/KateCrash87: # Iran’s Foreign Ministry denies negotiations with US, state-owned IRAN newspaper says
By [JON GAMBRELL](https://apnews.com/author/jon-gambrell)
“Remarks by the U.S. president are part of efforts to reduce energy prices and buy time to implement his military plans” the newspaper said.
“While there have been initiatives by regional countries to de-escalate tensions, Iran’s response has been clear: It did not start the war and all such requests should be directed to Washington
I fucking knew this, but got stopped out of my (naked) sold put anyway, lost 1200,- in one minute with the price shooting up. FML
[+17] u/ShopWhileHungry: So pausing attack 5 days to talk with Iran so he can bomb them again after market close for weekend? 🤡
[+17] u/Internal_Field5970: What constitutes as a political comment? This market is run by tweets…
[+17] u/TemporaryDisaster312: Trump: Hello? I want you guys to surrender.
Random Iranian on the street: wrong number.
Trump to the world: Positive talks with Iran!
[+16] u/xavras_wyzryn: BREAKING: Iran's Foreign Ministry denies President Trump's statement on peace talks, and says Iran has had "no direct or indirect contact with the US."
Circus, I'm telling ya.
[+16] u/No-Improvement3164: I can’t believe they voted for this
[+16] u/JMWTurnerAppreciator: BBC just reported that the IDF are still conducting strikes in Iran
[+16] u/spaurake: In unrelated story, Iran denies any negotiations with mango. Well, that’s a shock, nobody would’ve guessed he would lie to save his ass.
*later edit- nobody=everybody
[+16] u/livingunique: IRAN'S MIZAN: TRUMP'S COMMENTS ARE ATTEMPT TO CUT ENERGY PRICES
THERE ARE NO TALKS BETWEEN THE US AND IRAN
[+15] u/niv141: Iran officals just tweeted that trump is full of shit lmfao
There are no talks at all Trump literally made that up
[+15] u/Bonkers119: No way we stay green. Everyone knows he’s lying.
[+15] u/DisgrunltedDan: Iran's Fars News Agency Citing Source Says There Are No Direct Communication With U.S. Nor Through Intermediaries; Trump Retreated After Hearing That Iran Would Target All Power Plants In West Asia
Benzinga
Ya no shit it’s a lie
Hold so I can short !!!!
[+15] u/Valkorion335786: Stop talking about politics in this politically driven market
[+15] u/No-Insurance100: If you ever needed proof the market is 90% algos...
[+15] u/Dick_Wiener: Y’all reading it entirely wrong. Doesn’t matter if Iran spoke or not (they didn’t). It just shows that 🥭 doesn’t have the stones to escalate further.
[+15] u/SSkilledJFK: Ok.
Ok.
I’m out. Screw all this. Fuck 🥭. This is beyond absurd and it’s blatant manipulation. Yeah yeah I know, no cryin or I should have been paying attention. Beyond just money, this should stress every American because we have a toddler using Truth social on the shitter to decide war games like its Civ 6. This affects all of us. Actual lives and futures hanging in the balance.
But hey, some folks gonna get their calls.
[+14] u/PapitoMusk: He must be feeling immense pressure tweeting made up stuff. This shows there is no way to TACO this. Iran is on a path of vengeance.
[+14] u/Jadedtrader33: Iran going to bomb something at 9:30AM, just so the market drills.
[+14] u/solidsneeze: wow 🥭 has ended the same war about 4 times so far... amazing work!
[+14] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: IRAN CALLED HIM OUT OH SHIT LOL BULLS
[+14] u/hfbvm2: Iran did not just say "there have been no talks". They also said "this is trump trying to manipulate the stock market and oil prices"
[+14] u/Kabrosif: 🥭 just manipulating markets at historical levels to make him and his buddies rich. I’m not buying it anymore. I’m out after today, can’t even trade this market anymore lol. What a joke. And we know it’s all lies and bs to boot.
[+14] u/fenton7: Euphoria fading as people realize this is just the administration withdrawing a bluff and not a real path toward peace.
[+14] u/grimandnordic1: 🥭 bitched out like a fat pussy LOL
[+14] u/siouxu: "Avoid politics"
Yeah, kinda hard when 🥭 can just tweet there's "talks" (there's not) and the market skyrockets (it shouldn't).
[+14] u/ahopye: I have tried to play this market logically. But that's fucking stupid. Logic has no impact on prices anymore. There's as much correlation as if I was to make my decisions based on the barometric pressure that day.
I have a cousin called Tony. Tony has Downs. Tony is incapable of letting logic driven biases affect his decision making. His only biases are tits and pizza. Beyond that, he's as close as I think you could get to a human random number generator. I am going to carry out an experiment and let Tony start deciding what to do with a small percentage of my port. I don't see how I don't end up with generational wealth here, unless Hooters decides to IPO.
[+13] u/ManoSann: Surely there has never been a more embarrassing and unprofessional international incident than this
[+13] u/Reasonable_Cow3667: this shit ain't holding
[+13] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: Ayatollah more trustworthy than POTUS what the fuck clown world is this
[+13] u/FraggleBot1023: Nothing that fucking conman says should be trusted.
[+13] u/awetfartruinedmylife: >BASED ON THE TENOR AND TONE OF THESE IN DEPTH, DETAILED, AND CONSTRUCTIVE CONVERSATIONS
LMAO imagine making up all this if never happened
[+13] u/Swiftnice: I love that Iran said not only is he a liar but he backed down because he was afraid of their threat of retaliation haha
[+13] u/rollinhating: The amount of market manipulation this administration has done/doing is actually insane
[+13] u/Emotional_Tie_7927: 🥭 did this so Bessent didn't have to sell his oil futes at a loss
[+13] u/dudeondacouch: Celieve it or not, balls.
[+13] u/External_Counter378: Just a delay tactic for the ground invasion on Friday.
[+13] u/Open_Waltz6902: SPY moving like a meme stock at the whim of a PDF file. What a time to be alive
[+13] u/neverthy: Imagine checking iran's news in order to confirm what american president said.
[+12] u/FineJuggernaut3295: Iran really called Trump a lying mf
[+12] u/TheWokenessInjector: Trump: We had beautiful talks with Iran!
Iran: We haven't heard shit.
Classic.
[+12] u/kal14144: Imagine being such a clown that people trust Iran way more than you lmao
[+12] u/claytondpark: Iran called 🥭 s bluff
[+12] u/Ok_Upstairs3431: “There is **no direct or indirect communication with Trump**,” Iran’s semi-official Fars news agency reports, citing an anonymous Iranian source.
“He retreated after hearing that our targets would be all power plants in West Asia.”
[+12] u/dontslambro: IRANIAN SOURCE THAT THE STRAIT OF HORMUZ WILL NOT RETURN TO PRE-WAR CONDITIONS AS LONG AS THE 'PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE CONTINUES' - TASNIM SAYS CITING
[+12] u/music_crawler: Completely fake greenery. 100% red here soon.
[+12] u/OM3N1R: Lol the S&P premarket graph looks like a square.
Spike up, flat 30 min, spike down.
Fucking clownshow shit.
[+12] u/Disc0Disc0Disc0: Trump threatens to bomb Iran's oil facilities and power plants
Trumps team: Why would you say that, the world would go into a depression
Trump: Sorry I was on the toilet taking a poop and got bored
[+12] u/kairepaire: So, he lied and everyone knows he lied now... and it still worked?
[+12] u/AlrightAaron: The most obvious market manipulation I’ve ever seen, you have to almost admire it at this point
[+12] u/wildcat1055: 🥭: I am ready to make a deal. Are you ready to make a deal?
Sir, this is the Kebab Shop, may I take your order?
[+12] u/FleetingBeacon: Trump: War is over
Iran: No it isn't
IDF: It is striking targets in the Iranian capital.
lol
[+12] u/PocaMadre69: So taco tweet, Iran denies we’ve talked at all
Market still up 1.5%
Gotta love it
[+11] u/Floyd908: Has to be puts at open. Our president can’t spell which
[+11] u/HistorianMuch8963: IRAN'S FOREIGN MINISTRY SAYS THERE ARE NO TALKS WITH WASHINGTON AND ACCUSES US PRESIDENT OF BUYING TIME WHILE REGIONAL DE-ESCALATION EFFORTS GO ON.
[+11] u/gnanwahs: "productive conversations" are things we had before they fucking striked Iran and started war, this can still re-escalate tbh, i don't trust the clown
[+11] u/Disc0Disc0Disc0: If they've been in talks for 2 days then why did he threaten them a day and a half a ago 🤣
[+11] u/DogNamedFloppy: This guy will make up just about any lie to save his fragile ego…sad little man…real micro penis energy.
[+11] u/ring_of_slattern: Imagine trading during market hours that aren't manipulated by 🥭tweets
[+11] u/idanfl8: lol they are making fun of him🤣
[+11] u/kal14144: Levels of regardation previously theorized to be impossible
[+11] u/Onurb86: VIX back up from 22 to 27.5
No one is buying Trump's shit
[+11] u/baodown12: This market is built on hopes and dreams of one man
[+11] u/Suspicious_Ad9833: Bloomberg: Hormuz won't return to pre war state through psyops
[+11] u/ccampzz35: BREAKING: positive talks with my ex-wife. Even though she denies these claims! YUGE!
[+11] u/jdfan51: Barron probably has 400,000% ytd performance since he switched from crypto into oil futures
[+11] u/jeffynihao: Bro I called it. He did the same shit to China LOL
*IRAN'S TASNIM: THERE HAVE BEEN NO TALKS, THERE ARE NO TALKS
*IRAN'S TASNIM NEWS CALLS TRUMP COMMENT PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE
[+11] u/OrdinaryMix4013: Hahaa fucker made it up! Iran confirmed no direct talks.
[+11] u/ring_of_slattern: Why doesn't 🥭 just tweet every day that the war is over?
"JUST ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY WITH **NO WAR**, I'M SO GLAD I'M NOT A GAY BEAR"
After this pump, I'm certain he can successfully Ba Sing Se the market back up to ATH
[+11] u/jmc774: Guys 🥭 is not lying. He's chatting with TheRealIranianPM on AOL right now
[+10] u/tiny_toof: He wrote witch instead of which in his tweet
[+10] u/Street-Badger: Playing this market opposite a mad king with a twitter account is like playing checkers with a toddler. Not hard to win but expect the board to be flipped over a lot.
[+10] u/printstreamer: He was probably talking to Iraq and thought it was Iran LMAO
[+10] u/DismalCreme4680: Believe it or not its a fucking lie again
[+10] u/DepartureAnxious5115: TACO being called out on his BS by the Iranians is nuts.
[+10] u/jda823: Half the gains gone. Still 1.5 hours to go. 😂
[+10] u/LowWarthog: This is going to be a wild day, isn’t it?
[+10] u/Ifuloseulose: We are truly in the clown world timeline
[+10] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: A few days ago he said "We don't know who their leader is. We have people wanting to negotiate. We have no idea who they are." Now claims he has been holding talks. Puts!
[+10] u/jlw993: Stocks jumping between -5% and +5% wtf
[+10] u/solidsneeze: "but do you think the stock market will buy it?"
[+10] u/SighRamp: would not be shocked if we hit new low today
[+10] u/ukweeve: Aljazerra - Iranian media say no direct or indirect contact with Trump, claim he ‘backed down’. This is gonna be an epic day. Strap in to make/lose a lot of money (delete as appropriate)
[+10] u/meforprezz: delayed 5 days while our troops get positioned. this ain’t close to over.
[+10] u/teh_herper: #REALITY IS WHAT I SAY IT IS
[+10] u/Mcnuttey91: Lmfaooooo mods truly regard kings of the regards
[+10] u/OSRSkarma: I can’t believe markets up 1.5% because the onlyfans owner just died… damn
[+10] u/Ill-Expression1737: pure market manipulation at this point. hes just tweeting whatever to make it go as he pleases even if its complete BS 😭😭 impeach and go to prison with jpow and epstein
[+10] u/Illustrious_Pair2990: Thanks for the exit liquidity Donnie 100% cash now
[+10] u/DuaLipa247: 🥭 the biggest pussy I ever seen
[+10] u/S0Anon: option prices will be insane
[+10] u/Spear_n_Magic_Helmet: welcome to the game where the rules are made up and the points don’t matter
[+10] u/basedpogchamp: **Israeli military conducting strikes in heart of Tehran - IDF**
[+10] u/Oneok-Field: It's funny seeing bears and bulls both claiming victory when the market is back to where it was Friday open
[+10] u/Irishbros1991: So is Israel hitting power plants themselves now that's the question
[+10] u/VariousScenes: So Iran confirmed its all BS and that they will keep the strait closed indefinitely, but SPY still up 1.5%?????
[+9] u/LiveMotivation: IRAN'S FOREIGN MINISTRY SAYS THERE ARE NO TALKS WITH WASHINGTON AND ACCUSES US PRESIDENT OF BUYING TIME WHILE REGIONAL DE-ESCALATION EFFORTS GO ON
Just as I thought
[+9] u/daedalus_dance: Its hilarious that the market doesn't know who to trust between the US president and the Ayatollahs. 🤡🤡🤡
[+9] u/TERRAIN_PULL_UP_: Notice he left Israel out of his “announcement”
[+9] u/mRPerfect12: Iran hours away from saying this is absolute nonsense.
[+9] u/mannycalls24: Portfolio saved by a tweet can’t make this shit up
[+9] u/Angelwatch42: It’s almost as if the biggest liar on the planet told a lie.
[+9] u/allenn_melb: Going long on ‘this isn’t over’
[+9] u/Infamous-Mixture8278: Wait so you’re telling me a pathological liar lied???
[+9] u/slimeystevebob: Now Iran KNOWS that it has the upper hand in any eventual talks. Shit reeks of desperation.
Great job, fucking moron.
[+9] u/Bad_Prophet: Trump couldn't tell Iran any more clearly that he's fucked and his precious market can't take any more, so pretty please stop.
They've probably got fresh missiles in the air right now.
[+9] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: tuesday: THE WAR WITH IRAN WILL CONTINUE, THANKS FOR THE MONEY BVLLS. THANK YOU FOR THE ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!!!
[+9] u/Dry-Operation6112: Literally fake news. Trump is talking to himself. Iran just said they had zero conversations with washington over the weekend. Trump just trying to save face. If you don't add puts at open you're actually stupid.
[+9] u/gomper: That pump faded quick
[+9] u/JordiX93: I bet the strikes are postponed until Friday 4:00 PM,right?
[+9] u/imlockedoutagain: One man's tweet is another man's guh.
[+9] u/kal14144: Whoever thought they had isolated pure retardium earlier is wrong - this is true pure retardium
[+9] u/Latrodectus1990: IRAN denies talks loooll
Sell guys, fake news from Mango
[+9] u/Glock7enteen: Iran really sent out that statement just to to tank the markets lmao
[+9] u/dylansavillan: No matter what your positions are 🥭 can ruin them
[+9] u/OftenOlives: Blatant market manipulation lmao
Edit: he really went oh the markets didn't like that, better wait until Friday 🤣
[+9] u/unique_ptr: I mean, it's not that he lied, it's that he used it as cover for pussying out of bombing their power plants, which is good.
I'd call that a net positive on the state of things since Friday but maybe not +1.5% positive
[+9] u/Angelwatch42: Trump: I’ve spoken with Iran and the war is over. Complete victory! Thank you for your attention to this matter!
Iran: Wait, who said what now to who?
[+9] u/OntologicalSquirrel: He taco and untacoed in 5 minutes crazy
[+9] u/Independent-Tree-985: > I ‘raided’ my 401(k) to save my house—and I don’t regret it
CNBC shilling the idea of emptying your retirement account
[+9] u/HistorianMuch8963: You are not addict to the dopamine hit caused by scrolling the daily thread
You are monitoring the situation
[+9] u/Ok_Upstairs3431: Iran’s semi-official Tasnim news agency is now also reporting **Iran is not in talks, and there have been no talks, with Trump**. It cites an unnamed senior security official.
Trump’s social media statement is “**psychological warfare**,” Tasnim says.
It says Iran will continue to respond and defend the country and that the Strait of Hormuz won’t return to its pre-war status through psychological operations.
[+9] u/Objective-Plenty5185: There are no talks between Iran and US lmao
[+9] u/Pazzaaaaaa: The bears were celebrating all weekend, all night. Just to get fucked 2 hours before open.
[+9] u/Dude_with_Dollas: Donny on the phone trying to call Iran: "come on, pick up, pick up, pick up already!!"
Iran looking at the caller ID: "Naw f that. Let him sweat. Tweet we ain't talk'n."
[+9] u/mks_csw: Iran: mango is a lying cxnt
puts back on the menu
[+9] u/Who_is_Your_Zaddy: It's manipulation only when you're on the wrong side of a trade
[+9] u/svpa3991: You go to bed for 5 hrs and come back to green wow lol
[+9] u/Mother___Night: So many puts at open—we are 100% ending red today
[+9] u/2c-b_day: https://preview.redd.it/jyf1gyyhfsqg1.png?width=680&format=png&auto=webp&s=8b23fd1aea4fca044ffc94adc014f20fe2dd95e9
[+9] u/ConsiderationKey1658: nobody is talking about how this war is draining our strategic Tuah Coin reserve and it’s honestly quite alarming
[+9] u/ResidentPack4103: REUTERS: JD Vance seen streaking down the
national mall all morning screaming "BUY CALLS THERES A FAKE TRUTH COMING"
[+9] u/shxwcr0ss: How convenient that the window for the ‘talks’ is Friday when the markets close.
Who is there to talk to? I thought the war was won, and every official in Iran was dead. ?
[+9] u/ring_of_slattern: 🥭doesn't give af about consent even in peace talks
[+9] u/Yousoldmetohigh: Washington probably talked to the wrong Iranian in that coffee shop.
[+9] u/akunisg: I don't believe in Trump
But then I also don't believe the Iranians
How about you?
[+9] u/No-Insurance100: Imagine being a WSB mod in the year 2026 and thinking investment fundamentals matter
[+9] u/Weak_Ostrich459: If i didnt know any better, its like bers want the bombs to continue falling
[+9] u/CJBlueNorther: This how you know 🥭 and his cronies trade futures.
[+8] u/Split_Seconds: You know he tweeted that from the toilet.
[+8] u/mapf0000: He cannot 🌮 out of this one. But he can manipulate markets in the short term.
[+8] u/Tall_Helicopter_833: Iran saying they haven’t had any discussions lmao
[+8] u/oldprecision: Think of how bad it must’ve really been for him to taco on Monday and not Tuesday.
[+8] u/Impressive-Name5129: Crude has recovered.
Brent is back at $100.
[+8] u/TERRAIN_PULL_UP_: Let me get this straight, 🥭 says we’re going to bomb some Iranian energy infrastructure, then says jk
[+8] u/socrates4eva: The market is so desperate for any good news that it believes an old demented 🌮
[+8] u/dontslambro: US is saying that they spoke to Iran all weekend, Iran is saying no talks happened.
[+8] u/eerhmahgerd: Capitalism is dead. This market is completely controlled.
[+8] u/dash_trash4255: Just buying a little time. The Marine expeditionary unit won’t be there for another week or two.
[+8] u/Every_Recover_1766: IRAN STATE TV: NO DIRECT OR INDIRECT TALKS WITH TRUMP
FROM BLOOMBERG TV 7:50 AM EST
[+8] u/pooterssssssssss: Market got too low so T just pumped it?
[+8] u/HistorianMuch8963: You are not addicted to the dopamine hit caused by new information you read on reddit or x
You are monitoring the situation
[+8] u/No-Insurance100: I'm doubling down and buying even more puts on a steep discount. His syphilitic ramblings (which Iran already denied) don't change the material reality in commodities
[+8] u/_AnecdotalEvidence_: This is bigger than tariffs. He can’t just 🌮
[+8] u/Confident-Window4928: Lmao this market is such a joke. Dude pumped the market just to sell some shares for a few extra bucks
[+8] u/Bigamungus: Ok for real though, Bull V Bear aside.
This probably isn’t good for the trout population
[+8] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: people saying he is pulling a taco, it could also be a monday lie.
[+8] u/talaabo: Iranians are now saying they had no contact with USA and he just back down on his own.
[+8] u/oldprecision: 🥭: we will bomb power plants. 🇮🇷: we will bomb desalination plants. 🥭: negotiations are going well. LMAO
[+8] u/Rich-Badger-7601: 🥭's handlers probably got Pahlavi on the phone pretending to be the "voice of Iran"
[+8] u/UNEXPECTED_PREQUEL: "I can just tweet anything lol" - 🥭
[+8] u/Due-Information-6277: Bulls got rugged again…
[+8] u/pooterssssssssss: What happened in the past 15 min was criminal and funny... if it went the other way there would be investigations? Like are the bears going to file a class action lawsuit?
[+8] u/Awuxy: Guys he fucking lied. Iran's Fars Agency and IRGC spokespeople have came out and said there's no negotiations occurring, it was posted 10 minutes ago
🇮🇷❌🇮🇱🇺🇸 Tasnim Agency According to Iranian Security Official: There's No Negotiations currently, and the Situation of Hormuz Strait will never Back to What was before the War. 03/23/26
🇮🇷❌🇮🇱🇺🇸 Fars Agency According to Iranian Official: there's no any Direct or Indirect Contact between Tehran and Washington. 03/23/26
[+8] u/ResidentPack4103: 🥭Manufacturing exit liquidity
[+8] u/Awuxy: He fucking lied. My sources are screaming that this was not the truth
[+8] u/Evander85: How does one even trade such a market
[+8] u/DragonflyOrdinary848: ber fuk wait no bol fuk, now ber fuk again. All in the span of 24h. This is literally the timeline of a dementia patient and their fluctuating cognition
[+8] u/ninjadude93: Hilarious markets just eat up whatever obvious bullshit 🥭 spits out
[+8] u/printstreamer: Sold everything holding cash I don't have time to check market every minute
[+8] u/Paincoast89: so iran confirms there’s no talks, no one will believe this pump is real past 10am
[+8] u/bidahtibull: >Iranian media casts doubt on Trump claims of a return to diplomacy
>Iran’s Fars news agency, citing a source, reports that there are no direct communications with the US nor through intermediaries.
>The source says Trump backed down after hearing that Iran would target all power plants in West Asia, instead.
>Trump announced this morning that the US and Iran were engaged in “very good” talks to end hostilities in the region.
[+8] u/Kattilaeikka: Oof. That was the off-ramp for 🥭 but iranians missed the cue. They should've played along. Understandably the temptation to humiliate 🥭 was too great.
[+8] u/ASource3511: The Asians got fucked lol
[+8] u/Ceyenne18: Iran just gave mango 48hrs to surrender unconditionally.
[+8] u/DismalCreme4680: How can you talk to someone who fucking bombed you during negotiations, TWICE
[+8] u/CompoteSpecialist618: Yesterday I said the overwhelming bearishness here was the most bullish signal I’ve seen in ages, lol.
[+8] u/punxphil27: Lindsay Graham found unresponsive
[+8] u/Blownofftheblock: Where does the stock market get their news? On x? Fuck.
[+8] u/Retaining-Wall: Me tryna avoid geopolitics after catching a timeout.
https://preview.redd.it/znmzsp8bgsqg1.jpeg?width=2290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dbac9e75b3d290e82fb9bd03b4bb9db293d288ae
Just for good measure: Calls. Or puts. Spy to a specific dollar figure.
[+8] u/Ok-Analysis4121: Iran is clearly winning lol. The US is begging for a ceasefire
[+8] u/qqeyes: I am please to report that I have had, over the par two days, very good and productive conversations with my totally real and extremely hot girlfriend who goes to a different school ( she looks just like sydney sweeney FR)
[+8] u/ring_of_slattern: Who tf is actually buying on these fuck ass tweets though? Like if that's just exit liquidity then someone retard out there just has an IV hooked up to the sewer mains buying calls every time it fills up with shit.
[+7] u/Remarkable_Owl: I’m so disappointed in WSB: politics have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with markets (especially not this administration, which has eschewed involvement in the market and global politics generally). And yet some of you are talking about politics?!?!?! Unacceptable.
[+7] u/NotMe357: Good chance of him lying but that also means he TACO on attack Iran.
[+7] u/Disc0Disc0Disc0: Market completely forgot about all of the bad economic numbers in the last couple weeks 🤣
[+7] u/Dorkasteri: I’m pretty sure those very good and productive conversations never happened. Iran regime might come out here and say Trump is full of shit. It might go down again.
[+7] u/MenagerieAlfred: You know, hypothetically, if someone was being told by 🥭 , what he was about to tweet, they could make a fuck ton of money.
[+7] u/Quick1711: This is un tradeable and you all know it.
[+7] u/Irishbros1991: Iran no such talks are happening or have been happening LMAO this guy is a joke
[+7] u/kojima_you_genius: Little does he know, regard has crossed the Rubicon. LOAD up on puts
[+7] u/CPA-hole: Mango just making shit up to keep oil below $100
[+7] u/Standard-Top-5942: His taco got taco'ed
[+7] u/MrT_IDontFeelSoGood: LOL
So Iran already saying it’s a bluff
This is going to be a strange day
[+7] u/Ok_Persimmon9849: I keep thinking "he's lied a dozen times, this time they HAVE to know the tweet is clearly a lie!" and you beautiful regards prove me wrong every time.
[+7] u/Haikoe: As I said before, every pump is based on a lie. Buy put leaps
[+7] u/Swiftnice: Iran literally saying they didn't talk to him and that he backed down like a bitch hahaha
[+7] u/shineoneme: Fake pump that is already going back down lol. People are losing trust in the American system.
[+7] u/jg0nzalez22: Trump talking to himself is going well it seems
[+7] u/brizzario: Bro thinks he's playing 4D chess when, in fact, he's sitting in the corner playing with the stuff in his adult diaper.
[+7] u/Send_Lawyers: lol this is the dumbest timeline. No talks. Strait still closed. Gonna end today down 2%
Calls on CVX puts on Qqq
[+7] u/Resident_Area_1474: FUCK THAT SHIT FADED. WHY DIDN’T YOU ANNOUNCE IT 15 MINUTES BEFORE OPEN
[+7] u/Valkorion335786: Steve Witkoff and Jared Kushner are real estate developers and somehow advisors to the POTUS lol
[+7] u/42thefloor2011: SPY already down 1.5% from the lies' high. Massive crash at open confirmed
[+7] u/Irishbros1991: They are trolling him in Iran saying he's retreated this is not a good situation for him at all hahaha
[+7] u/Perfectly_Splendid89: iran says we didn't talk with mango about peace talks.
lmao mango just makes up stories just to pump the market.
[+7] u/imakeitrayn: Ah yes because we trust the words of a dementia patient who shits his pants regularly? This ain't the same taco as years past regards, this is GIGA poop in pants mango
[+7] u/Important_Cucumber: Jesus fucking Christ what a fucking regard. This shit ain't over so use this to gtfo
[+7] u/hfbvm2: "Missiles are negotiating with Washington and the zionist entity" - Iran
[+7] u/Capt_Chickenpox: He lied? jesus christ that one tweet caused so much damage lol
[+7] u/xavras_wyzryn: It doesn't matter up or down, I'm so fucking tired of the manipulation and this circus.
[+7] u/GoProVI: Yes, you can sue for market manipulation in the U.S. if you suffered losses due to artificial prices caused by deceptive practices like pump-and-dump schemes, spoofing, or wash trading. Victims can file private class-action lawsuits or report violations to authorities like the SEC or CFTC, which can lead to sanctions and restitution.
[+7] u/OkSuccotash258: Iran calling it a psyop lmao
[+7] u/PeachScary413: Bruh I thought Sleepy had a humilitation fetish with how much Nethanyahoooo shat on him all the time... but this is just next level ngl frfr
[+7] u/Bittertwitter: If yall think iran gonna stop just because taco (probably unilaterally) tweeted some words, yall dumb.
Iran cannot let israel and US learn from this war and regroup or the next time they’re fked.
[+7] u/orrangearrow: I hope that manipulated insider exit tweet was worth shredding any hint of credibility 🥭 had left.
[+7] u/music_crawler: Pumping then dropping 1000 points in record timing lmao.
[+7] u/S0Anon: Did anyone else see spy go back to 642, and within a second back to 656?
[+7] u/neverthy: iran is quick to deny his bullshit lol
[+7] u/dbgtboi: Lying is so OP it's ridiculous
[+7] u/MrRutin: Wtf is even happening hahahha
[+7] u/No_Current3675: You know that moron has seriously asked why he can't just blow a big fucking hole in like Oman or UAE with a nuke.
[+7] u/ripcord51: Dear Iran,
I wrote you but you still aint callin
[+7] u/OrionJohnson: Doesn’t matter if the talks happened or not (they didn’t) the market will take any weak excuse to pump and will struggle and fight against letting go of any gains.
[+7] u/Kind-Recognition4528: Easiest short at open.
[+7] u/FearlessStatement144: I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a better taco in my life!!
[+7] u/14BrewMan: Can world leaders just settle their bullshit with a fist fight instead of fist fucking my portfolio.
[+7] u/ILoveWesternCenter: SPY can drop down to 600 with a 1% pump and people will be saying "we're so back" and "lol bers"
[+7] u/ProudPeak3570: lol spy pumped all way to its top before he even tweeted? Nice insider trading
[+7] u/kodaksdad2020: Remember cash is a position
[+7] u/niloony: At least these TruthSocial ads helped me solve my bladder leakage.
[+7] u/Internal_Field5970: Why don’t they buy it at 55k later this week?
[+6] u/kal14144: ^ this quote was found in archeological dig on parchment back from when the SEC used to be real
[+6] u/livingiice: Genuinely thought my phone had internet connection issues. wtf was that. Anyway, I bought more shorts when it spiked.
[+6] u/hakan_loob44: You gotta be a special kind of regard to believe any of the bullshit 🥭 is spitting out this morning.
[+6] u/Boomer_here: fortunes will be made and lost in a 5 day window. lol
[+6] u/LarryStink: Doesn't matter if iran denies trumps statement. He taco'd. We may give back some of these gains but the bottom is in imo. Not jumping into any trades yet though, I am going to wait for a base to build and more confirmation before deploying any capital betting on DURABLE upside.
[+6] u/StocksStormTrooper: Sell all before it reverses to red!
[+6] u/awetfartruinedmylife: Guys it's monday, this happens every monday to prop the market before a blood red week
[+6] u/MetalEnthusiast83: I am so sick of this shit man. Obviously he just made these "talks" the fuck up to exploit the market, and all these retards bark for it like seals. Except instead of fish they are eating dick.
[+6] u/poozyfloor: CNBC won't even hint that he may be straight out lying, but you can see it in their eyes that's what they think.
[+6] u/Inspetor_Ventoinha: Imagine killing almost all relatives from the leader of a extremist country and then congratulate yourself on negotiations after that.
🌮 is really a new regard level.
[+6] u/the_mind_goblin1: surely iran is just posturing... no way mango would just straight up lie like this... right....
[+6] u/Arnab_Goswami_RTV: Bers stayed up all night to look at red in the morning
[+6] u/NotMe357: "TACO on Iran: I have instructed the Department of War to postpone any and all military strikes against Iranian power plants and energy infrastructure for a five-day period, subject to the success of ongoing meetings"
[+6] u/Opposite_Engine_6776: “These *detailed and productive conversations*. Are they in the room with us?” - Iran
[+6] u/baadllama_ghost: 🐻 order up!
TACO with extra GUH-uacamole
[+6] u/BunsMcCheeks: Bro postpones war crimes at the asscrack of dawn and we hit god candles lol unreal
Only to still reverse course again in a couple hours
[+6] u/Beneficial-Age-9293: Who is even the leader over in Iran after killing the Ayotollah and maybe his son? You'd think we'd know that before the "negotiations are going well" from 🥭.
[+6] u/callsonreddit: My imaginary calls gonna print so hard
[+6] u/SighRamp: TACO better keep this fake pump up at open, it's already fading!!!
[+6] u/Character_Pirate_152: There were NO talks. Mr. Orange is just backing down and lying about it. Calls or puts i don't know what the fuck to do.
[+6] u/AngryMillennialFU: This is the most manipulated market I've ever seen.
[+6] u/baadllama_ghost: I don't know why anyone even listens to the mad king
he's proven time and again that he never follows through with his words
[+6] u/zarfidemha: This blatant criminal manipulation
[+6] u/Street-Badger: If this is bullshit, which it is, then it just means they have no actual progress to report. This is desperation.
[+6] u/ItsyBitsySPYderman: Iran says there are no talks, because they haven't met the people the cia is going to install.
[+6] u/Suspicious_Ad9833: Glad Iran denied it so quick, per Bloomberg, how can they negotiate a 3rd time then get attacked by boots on the ground saturday when the soldiers arrive. Bloomberg calling out his lie and manipulation now too.
[+6] u/SolomonKings7: Ah, market manipulation by Mango
[+6] u/Valkorion335786: So apparently our trillion dollar war industry just comes to a complete standstill when it goes up against third world countries lmao
[+6] u/Strange_Man: Market makers are retarded clowns hitting big buttons based on what a retarded orange clown says
[+6] u/RomanJohnWick: Premarket is buying his word, wait til the realize it's all fake
[+6] u/edthechimp: Oil depots and refineries remain damaged. Strait of Hermione remains closed. The war continues.
[+6] u/Late-Combination5060: Iran says trump backed down .
https://www.bbc.com/news/live/ce35wke27ynt?post=asset%3Aa19495c2-b263-49b8-b04b-a8879eb9ab57#post
[+6] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: when they said crypto administration, they didn't lie, the spy is basically a pump and dump memecoin
[+6] u/cannythecat: Did anybody see the markets flash red and then go back to green? Wtf is happening
[+6] u/ring_of_slattern: Anyone who said we wouldn't V on a 🌮 tweet last night needs to re-evaluate the market we're in.
We pump 2% on a hopium tweet. If we actually pulled out with no promises from Iran and with energy infrastructure fucked and oil prices jacked up for the next year or so, we'd be back to ATH by open.
[+6] u/UnnecessaryPancake: last year I missed the generational bag opportunity on liberation day, I'm not missing it this year.
[+6] u/Kind-Recognition4528: Israel just launched fresh new striked. This is not gonna settle soon.
[+6] u/mightychicken64: this fucking stupid ass motherfucker
[+6] u/Country_Gravy420: Iran releases a statement:
"Fuck your calls"
[+6] u/confused_teabagger: I'm not falling for the bol trap!
I am willing to burn 10's of dollars to prove I am right!
ʕっ•ᴥ•ʔっ🐂
[+6] u/Weak-Equal-9084: You guys actually believed mango? You deserved to be where you are rn in life with your -30% ytd
[+6] u/bubbawears: Pedo army attacking Teheran now. Wow what a pathetic shit show
[+6] u/popsferragamo: Iran is going scorched earth. TACO Tuesday is cancelled indefinitely lol
[+6] u/Lello163: Another fake pump tweet from Trump, werent you guys winning this war 2 weeks ago or something?
[+6] u/Unh0lyCatf1sh: Lindsey Graham must be fucking furious right now, due was having dreams about American boots on the ground
[+6] u/TheMatinow: So the question is how much USA will have to pay Iran for war reparations
[+6] u/edthechimp: Mom, can you pick me up? I want to go home.
[+6] u/Few_Independent2460: Can’t wait for Iran to say this con lied
[+6] u/Extension-Horse-5331: Unlike tarriffs, which are implemented by people who work for Mango, he cant just tweet and expect the war to get wrapped up.
[+6] u/avdvetf: Does mango really think he can out fake negotiate persians? Has he ever met a persian?
[+6] u/GermyBones: Orange man fking me with his weekly "WARS OVER THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!" announcement.
[+6] u/soldatodianima: "I AM PLEASE TO REPORT"
...
[+6] u/1098duc_w_the_termi: Desperation and market manipulation. How embarrassingly obvious can you make it lmao.
[+6] u/rollinhating: hes probobly sending a nuke in the AH
[+6] u/OneLeggedJaguar: He bought himself another week at this level. Which is all he cares about. He’d do this bullshit for the next 3 years if it meant the market didn’t crash
[+6] u/GoProVI: OPEN THE CASINO DAMMIT, let me sell my calls and then close that beech back!
[+6] u/Good_Lingonberry6626: Selling covered calls today because I don’t believe him for a second
[+6] u/Yousoldmetohigh: I spent the majority of the weekend thinking I made the wrong call... what a rollercoaster.
[+6] u/andytobbles: The most obvious taco of all time
[+6] u/Charming_Raccoon4361: "There are no talks between Tehran and Washington, Iran’s foreign ministry said, rejecting remarks by US President Donald Trump, semi-official Mehr news agency reported."
[+6] u/Enjzey: lol, Iran gonna said they didnt pick up their phone
[+6] u/SighRamp: Iran's response to TACO Tweet got him to backtrack real quick. They aren't speaking with him going forward I am pissed the market isn't buying this "productive conversations". Whatever happened to "We Won" or was that an imagination? Load up on puts if this gap up doesn't crash before open.
[+6] u/Deep-Ad-8525: It’s the same thing over and over. Manipulation at its finest.
[+6] u/legbreaker: General in US: So we are really holding off attacks because Trump had an imaginary call?
[+6] u/Tall_Helicopter_833: Turns out TACO man was lying and just chickened out. No talks with Iran
[+6] u/redpillsbluepills: It’s not even 7:30am. Imagine waking up and trying to make sense of WTF is going on.
[+6] u/Complex-Video-2202: mango grabed the gay bears by the anos
[+6] u/Deadsea3132: Did he really talk to Iran or is this another pump and dump 🤡
[+6] u/WonUpH: Iran's former administration also believed they were having constructive discussions, but thank you Donnie for once again clearing my gains, this is a new instance.
[+6] u/TheMightySet69: 'We reject all negotiations – US has failed and Hormuz will remain closed'
[+6] u/Crazy_Donkies: I hate the man more than most, but ask yourself, are you mad he's lying, or mad America may stop bombing for now and you may lose money on your puts?
If he tacos and doesn't bomb infrastructure this is actually a good thing. Relatively speaking.
[+6] u/Shot-Welcome-2822: Well if ya didn’t exit yet, here’s your chance
[+6] u/shortgamegolfer: Lol bers! Shambles again!
[+6] u/XeroShyft: Trump says Iran talks are going well: market shoots up dramatically
Iran says that's bullshit: no response
YOU CAN MAKE THIS SHIT UP 😂
[+6] u/ThouOne: 5 days of ceasefire = 5 days of phumping
[+6] u/SighRamp: already losing steam fast gd keep it pumped at open don't fade!!!
[+6] u/Any-Pitch-2963: he tried to bail someone buying on friday market close.
[+6] u/Broad-Belt-5888: Why doesn’t mango just use his hurricane controlling marker to draw the Hormuz as open? Is he stupid?
[+6] u/31andnotdone: bers dont cancel your ladyboy bookings just yet
[+5] u/Extension-appeal: -30% is pretty optimistic
[+5] u/CDulst: One man has full control over the global economy lmao
[+5] u/Rock_or_Rol: Iran saying they weren’t in direct comms with 🥭 😂
[+5] u/GoProVI: Just as suspected. We back to the Friday after hours spike. This won’t make it to open… my calls are fked
[+5] u/Unlikely-Evening2919: We are going to witness the biggest bubble collapse in history before trump is out of office. Thing longer term guys.
[+5] u/kazkillinger: and iran, iran so far away
[+5] u/SuffiecientSapian: This is a “call off work and enjoy life” type of day and I’ll just keep my portfolio closed
[+5] u/FrancisBitter: Last time Trump properly TACO'd was when he said the bond market was "getting yippy". In the hours before the tweet, 20Y was above 5.0%, 10Y and 30Y were close to follow. This could very well be a coordinated lie just for that.
[+5] u/Hot_Philosopher_6558: there are unironically maniacs trading with options with orange in charge. the guy can pump and dump the spy with a single tweet xD
[+5] u/AirportMaterial5917: Ok Google you can go back to 350 now
[+5] u/ThinCrusts: Sell your calls at open and buy puts
[+5] u/RalphaDog: Can someone find the Iranians he supposedly talked to and get their view of the conversation? Asking for a friend
[+5] u/Graymyst: Algos and insiders pumping it to 666 pre-market, this has to be worldwide scale trolling.
[+5] u/Disc0Disc0Disc0: Ok so market goes up when he lies but doesnt go back down when they confirm he lied
Weird
[+5] u/orsomeshitidk: Glad to see the bulls triumphantly get us to 656 over the weekend lmao
[+5] u/teh_herper: TRUM₽: Stocks die twice
[+5] u/orrangearrow: From making a mess of the front of my pants to making a mess of the back of my pants in about an hour
[+5] u/samwehl: The real moves already happened before market open. Not touching this shit today 🥴
[+5] u/bringkiteback: Damn just woke up to getting my weiner milked I’m gonna miss this current gf
[+5] u/Select-Roll-4041: How does this man taco a war that he’s already in
[+5] u/JPOW_Used_No_Lube: Trumps wants his staff to be able to buy low cost puts at open
[+5] u/FleetingBeacon: Seeing a lot of focus on Trumps statement.
Seeing zero statement from Iran saying the strait will open back up, which is the main problem.
Now I understand how 2008 happened.
[+5] u/User0198888: Oh shoot. Wait he lied?
[+5] u/oldprecision: Bers trying to cope. Silly bers, no one believes 🥭. Doesn’t matter, today is green dildo day.
[+5] u/zhaoz: Capitalism is deciding how much it's worth depending on the words a senile politician types into a phone.
[+5] u/kal14144: Yes he’s full of shit but also he’s clearly TACOing. Bullish anyway
[+5] u/RemarkableVictory990: I'm increasing my oil longs this shit is retarded
[+5] u/pooterssssssssss: Craziest fastest reveral ive seen in futures since... liberation day
[+5] u/GoomyIsGodTier: I talked to my wife and she said it was okay to go out with the boys.
My wife and I never actually had this conversation.
[+5] u/Valkorion335786: 🥭 fake announcing peace talks and Iran being confused is the same energy as that scene from the Truman Show where his fake wife is doing that weird coffee product placement commercial in the kitchen in the middle of a big argument and Jim Carrey is like “WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO??”
[+5] u/kcramthun: Madness. Madness and stupidity.
[+5] u/perceptive_AI: >ONLYFANS OWNER LEONID RADVINSKY HAS DIED AT 43
[+5] u/cbusoh66: Called it
https://www.reddit.com/r/wallstreetbets/s/qx86vAVKm0
If a simpleton like me can see 🌮from a mile away, how the fuck are sophisticated algos and money mangers falling for this shit over and over, and over?
[+5] u/miata_only: Some people are saying Iran is in such disarray that IRGC is now calling the shots from tunnels in Greenland we might be forced to invade them now too, you guys.
[+5] u/No_Chilly_bill: so glad I stepped out of market months ago. turns out but not buying options you can have more money.
[+5] u/Additional_Diver584: Fuck your puts pussies
[+5] u/FLRugDealer: Fucker couldn’t even wait until open…what an asshole
[+5] u/Unlikely-Evening2919: Everyone celebrating this premarket pump is dumb AF.
We are still crashing to $3xxx S&P. In every crash there are bounces to liquidate retarded / late bears. This was one of such cases. Carry on.
[+5] u/twostroke1: Bears on the phone with the White House front desk rn trying to save their puts “uh hello, this Iran. Mr Trump didn’t uh…didn’t peace talk with us. Have good day.”
[+5] u/DragsterMC: Market starting to realize 🥭has dementia and the strait is still closed
[+5] u/SmoothFlan0: Fool me once shame on me fool me 27th time still shame on me
[+5] u/YouKnown999: Are the manipulation computers broken lol
[+5] u/spaurake: Little birdie keeps tweeting in my ear that the private credit turmoil is bigger than the strait not being gay. Fucking bird! Shoo
[+5] u/Defiant-Fee-7550: I think what OPINION\_IS\_UNPOPULAR is trying to say is that all BERS must delete their accounts here or they will be banned forever 😦🤌
[+5] u/FullTard2000: ok the leak was like 15min ago, now whats the news?
[+5] u/Coley44: 648 to 665 in the blink of an eye LMAO
[+5] u/YourCautionaryTale: Lotta people lining up for another "Fell for it again" award.
[+5] u/Ok_Worldliness_2902: Ah yes, 'talks going well' phase.
[+31] u/doscervezas2017: 🥭: "I consider this regime change, because these are new people that I'm talking to."
Can't make this stuff up.😂
[+23] u/Atti_: no politics guys we need to talk about THE MARKET the FREE MARKET that trades PURELY on intrinsic fair prices unaffected by external forces
[+22] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: Who tf is 🥭 negotiating with if Iran says they aren’t talking?? Kash is probably in a turban on video conference as an Iranian general saying Iran surrenders so 🥭 thinks it’s all over and stops bombing 🧠🧠🧠
[+21] u/EducationalCicada: Lol, mods saying no political talk while head politician manipulates the fuck out of the market.
[+21] u/RockinOutCockOut: Fat fuck: In 48 hours we will decimate Iran's electrical grid if they don't open the strait of Hormuz or if they threaten us
Them: Yeah we will will just do the same thing to your middle eastern allies, causing oil to skyrocket further
Fat fuck: it's TACO monday. Oh boy, we've had productive talks so ignore that ultimatum I gave
Them: We haven't had any talks you lying fat fuck
Stock market: ☝️⏫⬆️🆙⬆️⏫🆙☝️⏫📈
[+19] u/My_Bad_Habitss: We did it boys, we survived the great recession of March 2026!
[+18] u/Low_Truck_7049: # Iran denies claims: 'We reject all negotiations – US has failed and Hormuz will remain closed'
its actually pretty pathetic that mango makes up bullshit to allow his mates to pull out of their positions. Its pretty damn obvious
[+17] u/Cold_Distribution273: Not gonna be very funny when Israel finds out about these productive peace talks and bombs the negotiation table.
[+17] u/Automatic-Mountain45: the problem here, is that orangeboy thinks Iran is looking to deescalate. So he thinks him backing out will make them come to the table.
The table is burned broski, you afk'd the moderates, now you deal with the hardliners that straight up run on martyr fuel.
[+17] u/spellbadgrammargood: Top 2 posts on WSB
Trump postpones military strikes on Iranian power plants after 'good and productive' discussions
Iran denies claims: 'We reject all negotiations – US has failed and Hormuz will remain closed'
[+17] u/Canadianinvestor1997: Unfucking believable. Untradable market
[+16] u/king_of_all_retards: #Iran deny talks because it has not yet bought calls
[+16] u/QuantrixQuintrix: wealth is stored in the balls
[+16] u/Responsible-Rip8793: ***So 🥭 lied again? And the market bought another one of his lies again? The market really is retarded as fuck. I mean we are retarded too but the people with big money really are showing their colors***
[+15] u/I_am_Nerman: ISRAELI OFFICIAL: WE DO NOT SEE AN IMMINENT END TO THE WAR AND WE PLAN TO CONTINUE OPERATIONS WHILE AVOIDING TARGETING ENERGY FACILITIES
[+15] u/PositiveEdge4361: Timing the market beats time in the market
[+15] u/johns2289: Agreed it’s fake pump. But if wsb thinks it’s fake pump then doesn’t that mean it’s real pump?🤔
What to do what to do
[+14] u/greyenlightenment: this will be the biggest sell at open event ever.
[+14] u/Few_Egg3567: Only safe haven in this market is shorting msft.
[+14] u/Immediate_Employ_355: I miss the days there was some semblance of rationality in this market and the entire market didn't move on sentiment.
[+14] u/kalakesri: Ayatollah came to my dreams last night and we had very constructive and intense negotiations. Please buy calls
[+14] u/TomatoSpecialist6879: 🥭: WE HAVE BEAUTIFUL AND GREAT DISCUSSION WITH IRAN TO OPEN THE STRAIGHT OF HORMONES AND END THE WAR!
👳♀️: Bitch what the fuck is you talking about? We talk WHEN?? Strait is closed retard fuck you!!!
I have calls but man what is this timeline, 🥭 is so fucking desperate lmao
[+13] u/falken2023: All this pump is gonna do is rug retail.
[+13] u/PotentialBicycle7: really tired of this demented old man manipulating markets
[+13] u/Togashi_pls: Why does the SEC even exist 💀
[+13] u/Independent_Term5790: Yep, I am gonna go ahead and take this opportunity to hop off the ship
[+13] u/WingedScapula420: Aaaaand I’m out, made a small profit, goodbye
[+13] u/HonestScar7176: You’re insane if you’re in calls right now
[+12] u/OPINION_IS_UNPOPULAR: Wow, lots of purely political comments in here! Maybe we should make a megathread for comments that aren't market related in about a week? What do you guys think?
Edit: Seems like a lot of people are missing the `purely` part of my comment! No market related discussion will be allowed! If you have never invested before but want to learn more about politics, this will be the thread for you!
[+12] u/Logical-Clerk-1571: this is called "Quantum TACO", it is real and fake at the same time
[+12] u/Intelligent-Claim193: Market manipulation perfect entry for puts
[+12] u/tandoori_taco_cat: 🥭 moving the market 2% with a tweet, but no politics!
[+12] u/Nemesis_171: So why are we still pumping after Iran denied 🥭 comments?
[+12] u/New-Length5593: I literally think this mf is just having peace talks with a chatbot
[+12] u/Unlucky-Constant3587: "In terms of the people in Iran involved in possible negotiations, Kernan says Trump tells him: "I consider this regime change, because these are new people that I'm talking to."
LMFAO
[+12] u/ShutUpTodd: The Trump Doctrine: if you don't declare your wars, you never lose them.
[+12] u/Scorpio_Rex: Never buy during the first 30 mins of market open.
[+12] u/mydoortotheworld: PUTS NOW
*THE FUNDAMENTALS REMAIN UNCHANGED*
[+11] u/inconsistentsavant: This is the dumbest timeline to trade in.
[+11] u/Comfortable733: 👑🏆🏅9TH WAR ENDED, THE PRESIDENT OF PEACE 🏅🏆👑
[+11] u/wasifaiboply: This is the most obvious 🐂🪤 in the history of stock market trading.
You'll fall for it anyway. 🤡🌎
[+11] u/Waiting4Reccession: Onlyfans guy died, he could've done an ipo under HOES tickr
[+11] u/daddysgirl794: This is gonna dump at open isn't it
[+11] u/Claypool_Floyd: Remember, movement the first 5 minutes is fake. Well, it's all fake, but so are the first 5 minutes.
[+10] u/ShaqsGotOranges: how many hours until he starts talking about the total decimation of iran again
[+10] u/soa333: Operation Epic Fuckery
[+10] u/Successful-End7689: TLDR
Grandpa forgot markets are open during his 2-day deadline so he stretched it to 5 days to push the fuckery into the weekend lmao
[+10] u/LargeDevice3060: Iran clearly bought puts
[+10] u/Hot-Performancy: How do Algos keep falling for 🥭 lies
[+10] u/GoZukkYourself: https://preview.redd.it/ltnztem6nsqg1.jpeg?width=810&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a30977c407b8b1e145df018b68f801a7e93eec33
[+10] u/BetDependent6260: all Iran has to do is fire a drone somewhere on a teeny tiny facility and all this facade of normalisation will collapse.
[+10] u/Nice-Difference8641: I don’t think mango is lying about talks with Iran. I just think that whoever he’s “negotiating” with has no authority
[+10] u/Bravadette: What if his truth social account is just a sentient trading algo
[+10] u/McGrundie: Productive talks with who? 🥭 said they killed everyone 🤷♂️
[+10] u/GoZukkYourself: Damn, the OF owner is dead at 43? Who gets all those dividends now?
[+10] u/ohjeez-88: Wallstreetbets "We ban people from being overly political". You're right because the stock market exists in a vacuum
[+10] u/whydouhatemecablegod: so he managed to end yet another war, wow, give this man his nobel prize, or at least an oscar or something
[+10] u/Ok_Abbreviations8440: Early prediction: the no new wars guy is going to end up striking again on Saturday when the market is closed
[+10] u/Cashmoneytendies: Imagine buying puts when there’s confirmed world peace
[+10] u/csekseni1: If this shit was true we’d be up 3 percent not fading
[+10] u/---Right--Tackle---: #has literally anyone made money this year
[+9] u/hioman01: The stocker market is absolutely legit and not a single rigged movement
[+9] u/nomar_ramon: I wonder if 🥭 is still asleep and the tweet earlier was pre-written and was posted by an intern/secretary.
[+9] u/tsunamiwaves_: Market pumps, Microsoft flaccid. Market dumps, Microsoft drills. Absolute garbage.
[+9] u/Rambler_Hoss: Postpones his 48 hours threat for 5 days, how convenient timing. Almost like markets forgot the Strait being closed is the main issue here.
[+9] u/CumomEileen: This chaos is just exhausting
[+9] u/Hist0racle: Wtf is even going on anymore
[+9] u/cadentoob: Anybody else puying puts at a discount this fine morning? 🌈🐻
[+9] u/Automatic-Mountain45: taco trades no longer deal with tariffs, we now deal with straight up war. we've graduated.
[+9] u/Worried_Quarter469: Future two time FIFA peace prize winner
[+9] u/Domefieldadvantage: You guys are literally buying the news
[+9] u/Rare-Cucumber9469: Goin balls deep on TSLA puts…will report back
[+9] u/lSazedl: going to buy puts for tomorrow in the 640s range cause you know ICE agents are gonna blow up a plane or something today
[+9] u/New_Internet_3965: The small consulting firm I work for just called a mandatory all hands meeting for tomorrow at noon. RIP to me having a job boys
[+9] u/bb483: you gotta accept sometimes you’ll miss the move
[+9] u/Tay_Tay86: LMAO okay I guess the United States is only fighting war after market hours and on weekends
[+9] u/Erieztoys: Duck Tape and Twine holding this shit show together
[+9] u/Zipsterino: Welp, that was quick. Back to panicking.
[+8] u/LostandConfused2024: My SMCI bags are getting heavy lmao
[+8] u/Ihateporn2020: he's not going to wait another 5 days before stirring shit again.
Also Israel could bomb the infrastructure themselves and force continued esclation
[+8] u/ercanbas: I hope Iran is like “we’ll agree to a ceasefire but you have to do 10 pushups live on air.”
[+8] u/DrummerCompetitive20: Bers got nuked in 1 tweet
[+8] u/GoZukkYourself: I haven't seen bers this pissed since the Village People canceled their world tour.
[+8] u/3boobsarenice: The one trick that works everytime
[+8] u/jasperCrow: This is about to be such a rug pull
[+8] u/kalakesri: The peace negotiations are happening in the metaverse
[+8] u/ShitpostSulthan: how conveniently all this BS happens in pre-market.. clown market and clown world we live in..
[+8] u/BetDependent6260: this appears to be a MOAT..Mother Of All Tacos
[+8] u/Icy_Calligrapher7080: The more it pumps on this, the cheaper the puts will get.
[+8] u/Front_Umpire4873: Market is probably pricing in that US doesnt want to escalate through the nonsense tweet.
[+8] u/The_BakedCrusader: Well I chose the worst possible time to buy puts Friday....
[+8] u/ngjsp: 1/4 of the world’s oil stuck or offline? Calls it is.
[+8] u/I_work_too_much: This is absolutely fucking retarded. We could see a 6% swing in 24 hours, and we don't even know which way it will be.
[+8] u/Karl151: You guys don't get it, the fact he's lying about this is actually bullish, it means he still cares about the markets, this is what happened last year with China too where he would say there were talks only for China to deny it, before he fully suspended all tariffs. We're getting a ceasefire this week guaranteed
[+8] u/Longjumping-One-7022: Dude he only did interviews about this with Fox business and cnbc. Don’t get cooked you fuckin retards. He just sees the market tanking and the people that pay for him are like what are you doing you orange fuckin idiot
[+8] u/SheBenOnMyJohnson: “We killed everyone we have nobody to talk to”
“We talked they want peace” lmao
[+8] u/holymolyratio: Crazy world to believe Iran over the POTUS lmao
[+8] u/Waiting4Reccession: Iran saying mango is lying 😂
[+8] u/RockinOutCockOut: This is going to tank so fucking hard
Iran saying that 🥭 is lying about productive talks lmao
[+8] u/mechajlaw: Iran: I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me.
[+8] u/somewhere_cool: The fact this didn't keep ripping at market open shows everyone knows the tweets are meaningless... If you hold calls on tech or puts on oil use this fucking gift now
[+8] u/Phandomtrigger: I do not trust either direction and will just observe
[+7] u/neo-futurism: Is SEC sleeping through this daily manipulation from their orange lord? Are there no laws here?
[+7] u/Longjumping-Ride-130: I slept for 4 hrs and everything went green wtf happened?
[+7] u/Gom_KBull: >*President Trump said he would postpone a deadline for striking Iran’s energy infrastructure after “productive” talks to resolve hostilities. Iranian state media said he was “backing down” after threats of retaliation. - NYT*
# What a clown show 🤡🤡🤡
[+7] u/TightBandicoot7068: I care more about war when it’s destroying my life savings
[+7] u/DriftWoodBarrel: Even if the news is fake. Mission accomplished. Half of all puts Wiped off the map.
[+7] u/Accurate-Flow8078: Remember when the stock market wasn't affected by tweets?
[+7] u/New-Length5593: The fuckery is unprecedented. Absolute undisputed undoubtedly the most fuckery I’ve ever witnessed. FUCKED
[+7] u/killainvest: 666 was always the plan
[+7] u/financiallythriving: Market open: We are so back
Market close: it’s fucking over
[+7] u/Key_Journalist_3698: I want a refund from the US government for the destruction that mango dick has done to my portfolio. I'm back to where I was last summer.
If the US is a corporation, then Mango dick as the CEO has a fiduciary responsibility not to be a total fucking asshat.
[+7] u/yodankmeme: This shit is going to be so easy at open. The stock will either be up or down.
[+7] u/cevapi_jelopy: Bears really thinks bulls believe tacos lies NO MF we’re just counting money like the evil americans we are
[+7] u/Potential-Plum7187: Too many bears. You know what that means.
[+7] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: This is the stupidest green I have ever seen
[+7] u/SerpantDildo: TACO doing a TACO 🌮 on world bear day🐻 (real look it up) is hilarious
[+7] u/hopewellroad: I don’t believe Trump, but I don’t really believe Iran either. They won’t admit defeat, so if Trump really stops the bombing, he can claim victory, just as Iran can by saying that the US is retreating.
[+7] u/Concerned_Fanboy: word of the day will be: Fade
[+7] u/TomatoSpecialist6879: As a permabol, after that Iran announcement I'm almost 100% certain we're going into a bol trap and will be red by midday lmao. Let's hope DXY eating shit and Treasury continue to intervene while they're pretending they're not will keep the market pumped for the day
[+7] u/frey_to_tilt: Taco saw put interest on SPY and said "Nah uh, not at my watch!!!"
[+7] u/Fineous40: Are these the craziest PM movements ever or is yahoo finance glitching out?
[+7] u/yushey__: Msft you fucking piece of shit go to 390
[+7] u/Nice-Difference8641: This is all fake and manipulated but congrats to bul today
[+7] u/nullzeroerror: It’s so obvious we’re not in talks with Iran. He’s just playing with the market
[+7] u/ThinkingOfTheOldDays: the onlyfans rabbi has died of cancer at 43, I'm told
are we bearish or bullish victoria's secret here
[+7] u/Nice-Difference8641: It’s funny that the “negotiation deadline” just so happens to coincide both with market close and when the marines get to the Middle East. Negotiations failing is as good as an excuse to any to invade kharg
[+7] u/Sensitive_Pilot3689: Oh no! My newly constructed oil storage facility in my back yard is already down on profit 😤
[+7] u/SlartibartfastMcGee: When are bears gonna learn that they have to play futures to lock in any wins?
[+7] u/Out_Phishing: This comment serves as today's big fuck you to msft, the gayest of the mag7
[+7] u/spellbadgrammargood: Trump's owners: Yo we need to exit our positions
Trump: Say no more.
[+7] u/sonianevermindX: Barron must’ve had calls
[+6] u/neutralpoliticsbot: Like I told u yesterday.
When u see this many bears on WSB you just know your calls are safe
[+6] u/Nice-Difference8641: The thing is even if the war ended in 5 days the volume of oil going through the strait isn’t going to recover for a while, what the fuck is happening to make WTI traders make futures prices 90 while spot prices in Dubai are like 160
[+6] u/GoZukkYourself: Don't mind me, just spamming as much ber shit as I can while this is still green.
[+6] u/RagingBearBull: Finally "Peace in the middle east has been achieved!!!"
All Hail Supreme leader!
Im ignoring all news that this is one sided.
[+6] u/Comprehensive-Eye547: 🥭 think he’s the captain of the market
[+6] u/somewhere_cool: If you're holding calls on anything besides oil, or puts on oil, market open is going to be the biggest gift you've ever been given. Don't be greedy
[+6] u/exhibit304: So trump says peace talks. 5 days deadline
Iran says he's trying to cut energy prices and build up the troops ( staging area. USS Tripoli is nearly there )
So after market closes on Friday he invades kharg island?
[+6] u/abroadbroadband: Trust me bro, it's opening
No trust _ME_ bro, it's closed
[+6] u/New-Length5593: BREAKING: THE 🌮 HAS JUST HIT THE 2ND TOWER
[+6] u/BigWarning8696: "It's not a lie if you believe it" - George Costanza
[+6] u/Several_Bread_9144: Mongo nominated for king shitposter of WSB
[+6] u/Wrath_FMA: Will be full porting spy puts at open, godspeed
[+6] u/MoMeanMugs: RIP to those pilots. What a fucked way to go.
[+6] u/ItCouldBeSpam: Bears just got 🌮'd by the liar in chief!
[+6] u/BttrcreamSilkVersace: Wake up, it’s another Taco Monday!
[+6] u/tornadopower97: I knew he was going to TACO. You knew he was going to TACO. But we did nothing because we are rational human beings who believe in the real world. Silly us. Learn from this mistake. Let the TACO wash over you. Embrace the TACO. Be reborn in the light of the TACO. Hail to the TACO, who shall set us free from the chains of logic and consequences.
[+6] u/M_from_Vegas: There is no way an almost 4 point swing holds based on these conflicting statements
But puts are too obvious and gay
What to do, what to do
[+6] u/Character_Slide3248: Just bought put on Crude Oil 20min before the post. Ill take that
[+6] u/My_Bad_Habitss: These algos are creaming all over themselves
[+6] u/greyenlightenment: biggest red candle ever at open
[+6] u/Traditional_Page_75: I love how Iran says it’s a complete lie, and subsequently, an obvious move to pump the markets; and investors go, an obvious pump!
[+6] u/Nomynametoday: finally! a +3% after a -12% portf drop😮💨
[+6] u/Jets237: So are we thinking of big selloff at open, or small rally followed by big sell off at 10?
[+6] u/JessKingHangers: Of course I panic sold everything on Firday and now everything is pumping.
[+6] u/noicedeb8r: I fear this is gonna dump ngl
[+5] u/wattap: MANGO ON FOX BIZ: “IRAN DEAL COULD COME IN 5-DAYS OR SOONER”
[+5] u/poorat8686: No talky until coffee guys capiche, you wouldn’t like me before I’ve had my morning coffee. I can be a real grouch. Just reading this thread before I’ve had my cup of joe makes me SOOO tempted to snark out. You’re all on thin ice at this point I could say something so sarcastic and rude.
[+5] u/Demonic_Maidens: Randy Walters is a son of a bitch!
[+5] u/Thedarkpersona: The markets seem to ignore that the strait is still closed, and a sizeable amount of the oil production facilities have been destroyed and wont be rebuilt for the foreseeable future...
[+5] u/Purple-Coyote-6122: Trump held “productive” talk with Iran; I swear these Iranians never learn.
[+5] u/Desdevique: IRANIAN MEDIA SAYS THERE WAS NO DIRECT OR INDIRECT CONTACT WITH TRUMP AND CLAIMS HE WITHDREW AFTER THREATENING TO ATTACK WEST ASIA ENERGY FACILITIES
[+5] u/Samjabr: Gold down almost $1,000 in \~ a month
damnnnnn
[+5] u/katger18: Taco guy will always do everything for the stock market. Never forget.
[+5] u/TheLelouchLamperouge: Gold down in the dumps meanwhile the rest of the market is celebrating like we just won ww3
Not too sure about this one chief
[+5] u/SpyBagholder: 650 puts for tomorrow?
[+25] u/humanoideric: I like how Iran is like wtf, that never happened and market just doesn't care, fake tweet is king
[+24] u/Beagle001: 5 minutes before Trump’s announcement:
\* $1.5B notional worth of S&P500 (ES) futures are bought in a single clip.
\* $192M notional of oil futures (CL) sold.
More than 4x-6x any other trade size during the market close.
[+21] u/HandsOnTheBible: Idk if you guys realize this but the warships that are holding the thousands of marines need to actually sail to Iran. Why did he postpone attacks for 5 days? Because it literally takes 5 days for the land invasion to start lol. You heard it here first.
[+21] u/ajibtunes: 🥭 every Monday : We have a deal
🥭 every Friday : I will bomb the hell out of Iran
[+20] u/Natarian86: Wait til everyone finds out he's completely lying lol
[+20] u/Icommandyou: 🥭 talk:
12:03 - says wants a ceasefire with Iran
12:05 - declared victory
12:07 - says sending marines
12:08 - no boots on the ground
12:11 - says does not want a ceasefire
12:16 - declared victory again
12:17 - asks for a ceasefire
12:23 - calls NATO cowards
12:29 - claims Iran is begging for a ceasefire
12:31 - everything is prefect
12:36 - $500 oil is a good thing
12:37 - demands Iran opens the strait
12:39 - claims strait was never closed
12:41 - says US is not at war with Iran
12:42 - declared victory again
[+20] u/Tytuseva: Everyone saying puts does not make me feel good about my puts.
[+20] u/saw-it: Who did you negotiate with?
🥭: you wouldn’t know her, she goes to a different country
[+19] u/TropicalOinkment: "Hello, this is Iran? Yeah, Iran a train on ur mom, hehe fuk urself"
"Very productive call with Iran, war ending soon"
[+19] u/BarbellPadawan: It’s so incomprehensible to me that the market reacts this violently to this guy’s comments/tweets, with knowing how unreliable they are. (I have positions that are helped with today’s move, so I feel this is pretty unbiased).
[+18] u/Most-Crazy2353: Unreal how the market still believes this fgt
[+18] u/CaskJeeves: Good news: TACO on escalatory power plant strikes
Bad news: Trump completely made up the fact he actually talked with Iran lol
[+18] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: I'm buying puts. 🥭 talked to the Middle Eastern restaurant down the street
[+17] u/firstandlast0202: 🥭: We have been negotiating for 2 days and it's going well
Iran: we don't negotiate with terrorists
Absolute cinema 😂😂😂
[+17] u/HolographicHeart: Don't be regarded
Take your profit when it's there
[+16] u/UltrasonicHeatwave: It’s insane that the markets are up. Nothing makes sense. I hate it all.
[+16] u/bearhunter429: #He pulled the "talks going well" trick again LMAO🤌
[+16] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: If I was a betting man I'd bet 🥭 did not speak to anybody in Iran
[+16] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Iran saying "Trump you're fired thank you for your attention to this matter" is indeed funny
[+16] u/MrNo_Balls: mango: talks were productive!
tehran: what talks you talking about ?
[+16] u/SorryAdhesiveness566: It's scary how many people still believe in 🥭.
There's no behind the scene negotiations going on between fruit guy and iran's leadership, and there likely won't be anytime soon
[+15] u/isc1200s: He’s so full of shit 😂
[+15] u/DarkR124: Don’t believe this shit for a second. Buying puts.
[+15] u/Commercial-District1: I mean, the obvious move is puts, but is it too obvious?
[+15] u/McKoijion: "We're going to find out who the leaders are"
-Secretary Wright on CNBC just now
[+14] u/Foreign-Bee-4792: The market out-regarded this sub once again
Amazing
[+14] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: The strait is not opened lol
[+14] u/shoesshirt: I would be rich if I just always reversed myself
[+14] u/McKoijion: Y'all can buy calls if you want. This doesn't pass the sniff test.
[+14] u/ratedsar: Let me get this "strait"; Spy is up > 2% from a "truth" "witch" has been called out as entirely untrue; and the untruthiness has been confirmed by both the US and Iran
[+14] u/bigmeatbag: Market pumping on 🌮 being a weak beta cuck that's making up negotiations, now we got "War talks going well" nonsense.
[+13] u/r0n224: Please note , he is not guaranteeing anything! 🤣
[+13] u/Comfortable_Oil6642: Yes orange man’s lying. Yes the crisis isn’t over.
Guess what bers?
The market doesn’t give a fuuuuuuuuck!
We’re in the business of making money not being a USA fud nerd!
[+13] u/oliver2022: sooo 🥭 got caught lying, Iran treated him like a bitch and israel keeps dropping bombs on Iran.
why the fuck are we green
[+13] u/Nascent1: Guess everyone is just collectively pretending that the war is over.
[+13] u/Quarter-Normal: In all respects this is giving our troops time to get closer and build up military in the region without too much pressure at home. I suspect this Friday shit hits the fan again but for now the market bounces.
[+13] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: This is the dumbest timeline in US history
[+13] u/zestykite: just like that Epstein out of the news
[+12] u/dybalapogba21: Iran denied the productive talks claim, and yet the manipulation looks to be successful. Can’t make this up
[+12] u/spez_eats_nazi_ass: This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to dump and get out for a bit. Thank you for the exit liquidity.
[+12] u/PositiveToe2761: Bers and bols in unison “man this is some bull shi”
[+12] u/SadCockroach3784: Get ready for the inevitable rugpull boys.
[+12] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: 5 minutes before 🌮 announcement:
* $1.5B notional worth of S&P500 (ES) futures are bought in a single clip.
* $192M notional of oil futures (CL) sold.
More than 4x-6x any other trade size during the market close
Source: https://x.com/adamscochran/status/2036070980754239563?s=46
[+12] u/PalsRocksMyWorld: Red by close once everyone remembers they can’t trust a single thing that comes out of the mango mouth.
[+12] u/GTS980: 🥭 tweets are getting ridiculous. I just want to lose my money fair and square.
[+12] u/postusa2: I'm not a bear, but do prefer the market is linked to reality rather than the deranged moods of an individual.
It's up 2% on..... imagined "talks" and the fact the Strait isn't opening? I'm very surprised this has gone a year, but the longer it goes, the bigger the risk that recovery will take decades.
[+12] u/No-Incident-9226: Nasdaq up 2.4% because Trump pretended to have talks with Iran, even though they've peomised to retaliate and keep the strait closed forever? Oh and we're just going to ignore the disastrous job numbers and inflation?
[+12] u/Detonate-Ralph: bols trusting their life savings over an obviously fake tweet from a compulsive liar lmao
[+12] u/BioRam: Remember that being a bear or bull doesn't make you regarded.
Betting all of your money makes you king regard and will only ruin your life
[+12] u/ajibtunes: Israeli official : "🥭 statements came as a surprise to us."
[+11] u/Midnight-Observer: I just don’t understand the pull this clown has. All he has to do is say words and people eat it up
[+11] u/soup4br3kfast: Doubled down on puts this morning. Double fucked
[+11] u/cloudsofgrey: Trump lies about holding talks with Iran and market goes crazy
[+11] u/_Wendig0_: Isreal bout to do the funniest fuckin thing
[+11] u/Maximum-Sign-5983: This pisses me off more because you know it won’t hold
[+11] u/hermeskino715: Markets trying to digest if 🥭 is bullshitting. Wonder when they will figure out the 🥭 is a lie
[+11] u/lalyt93: https://preview.redd.it/78pui9zpxsqg1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2cb66f30e67e778a3f789f373a10a57440e10e4d
LOL
[+11] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: Sarah on CNBC I am convinced is a Mossad agent
[+11] u/illicit_FROG: The market doesn't care cause it is desperate to stay liquid at this point. 0 job creation and no gdp growth.... the hopium they will believe anything
[+11] u/Extension-Ad917: I can just feel someone preparing to houdini this rug
[+11] u/amanj41: Are we still pumping off of the postponing of the fake threat?
[+11] u/NiceOwner: Insane level of market manipulation since Friday. Of course zero accountability.
[+11] u/EasyBoard9971: now that all yalls puts are worthless we can dump
[+11] u/Unhappy_Hedgehog_808: All this price action because the president is a liar, incredible.
[+11] u/SlfImpr: Transcript of President Trump's short Q&A with FoxNews this morning:
>**Reporter**: Iran's Foreign Ministry says you're not telling the truth when it comes to productive conversations.
>**President Trump**: Well, they're going to have to get themselves better public relations people! We have had very, very strong talks. We'll see where they lead. We have points, major points of agreement — I would say almost all points of agreement. Perhaps that hasn't been conveyed. The communication, as you know, has been blown to pieces. They were unable to talk to each other, but we've had very strong talks. Mr. Witkoff and Mr. Kushner had them. They went, I would say, perfectly. I would say that if they carry through with that, it'll end that problem, that conflict, and I think it'll end it very, very substantially.
[+11] u/Kind-Worldliness4634: Y'all think it's just coincidence he paused until exactly market close this Friday?
....yeah it's probably coincidence
[+11] u/AbrocomaNegative825: Alright, i made 250 bucks time to walk away before i lose 10 grand or something.. (lol) 🤞
[+11] u/trsx5: Fun fact #1: The ultimatum expires in 5 days, just when the markets close
Fun fact #2: In 5 days USS Tripoli with 2,200 marines will be in position
Fun fact #3: My portfolio will not be in position
[+11] u/zestykite: so the marines on their way there is gonna turn back around?
[+11] u/breakyourteethnow: This market is ridiculous. No talks took place and SPY up 2%.
Market depth has dropped 80%, futures contracts on SPY went from 25m to 5m. Market jumps sporadically when institutions buy, algos react to fake news. This is time to buy puts.
[+11] u/AKOnDaTrack: Yet again, when everybody in here is bearish, you buy calls, it really is that simple
[+11] u/daisymoth9: we’re being audited at my work. fml
[+10] u/KevinTheTurtle1: Now’s a great time to buy OIL and PUTS 🙋♂️ I would buy more but I’ve lost most of my life savings.
[+10] u/BigShmokeBuffer: Now that I’m out of those dogshit calls at a slight profit
… I TOO believe 🥭 is being disingenuous about ending the war!!
[+10] u/Slow-Information-847: Who thinks 🥭's billionaire friends got a lot of margin calls last Friday?
[+10] u/Treverer: After I graduated from high school I went to America and was excited as heck for everything I only knew from TV so far. I was most excited for the fast food and especially for Taco Bell, as we didn’t have it in europoor. And as I excitedly bit into this taco I ordered there it was a descend through all seven of Dante’s hells in one moment. This gooey, non-substantial thing just reminded me of my own life, an indifferable melange of grey and white, tasteless, hopeless. It was the first, worst and last taco of my life.
Until today.
[+10] u/Bcider: Not going to check anything for the rest of the day. I'm assuming when I check again at 4pm today it'll be red and oil will be back up.
[+10] u/michaelis999: what is this fake pump🤢🤢🤢 red by close lmao
[+10] u/McKoijion: Oh cool have we unconditionally surrendered to Iran?
[+10] u/PalsRocksMyWorld: Who the fuk trusts the 🥭? Market is regarded. Running vibes from a known liar. Reality will set in and everyone will realize this was just manipulation before things hit the fan.
[+10] u/ssaxamaphone: Something tells me the negotiations are BS. Buying Puts
[+10] u/LordCorgi: 🥭 saw SPY down to almost $640 in pre and shit himself more than usual it seems.
[+10] u/Just_Butterfly4052: Clown fucking market.
[+10] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: it's literally just high-frequency trading algorithms that react to the words he says without making judgments on whether they might be lies. the part that bugs me the most about it is what an insane amount of power that gives him
[+10] u/CultureForsaken3762: Even if the war ended today, the damage to the global economy is irreversible.
Puts on stonks.
[+10] u/CaskJeeves: Trump: "I've had great talks with Iran"
When really he just ordered a shawarma from the Ali Baba's on the corner and his handlers just told him that was the Iranian delegation
[+10] u/Numerous_Put4717: Did the president just say he was negotiating with a future Iranian leader like I bragged to my friends in high school that I had a girlfriend in another town?
[+10] u/Nearby-Lab0: Lol who bought oil at ATH
[+10] u/eamus_catuli: Before you load up on puts, be aware of second-order thinking that markets have been more prone to since Trump took office again. We saw the same pattern with tariffs:
In an age of unreliable info coming from government, traders are no longer trading on direct information, but on second-order factors. What's happening right now is what I call a "second-order FOMO rally".
Most don't actually believe the news, but they think OTHERS might believe it. And so to not miss out on gains, they act as though it's true.
The rally only stops when enough people believe not that Trump's statement is false, but when they believe that OTHERS no longer believe it.
[+10] u/IgorOlshanksy: If the world ended due to nuclear war the market would still be going up. Its all priced in.
[+10] u/iThinkiStartedATrend: I’m going back to casinos. At least there I am losing money to cards and not some pedophile’s tweet
[+10] u/JugoShvili: Make sure to screenshot your ports today because it’s the highest they’ll be all week
[+10] u/Scrogwiggle: Went all in on puts right before that last pump. Account down 30% in seconds. 🤡
[+9] u/RaccoonLongjumping27: Why does the guy that lied countless times especiallt in the last month treated as reliable by the market i'm so confused man...
[+9] u/Bcider: This pump is so fake and ghey
[+9] u/BigBritches619: Does Iran know about these “talks”
[+9] u/Wall_St_Bussy: The weekend: I’m so glad I held my puts
Monday: Closest food bank to my location?
[+9] u/cyril1991: How are the “buy puts at open” people holding up?
[+9] u/Maximum-Cash7103: This man has my portfolio by the nuts.
[+9] u/KevinTheTurtle1: Who else is losing !? ‼️🙋♂️
[+9] u/pinkerton_gov: He’s fucking lying btw. Per usual.
[+9] u/LarsTarkas: Market will tank the moment IDF strikes Iran's infrastructure
[+9] u/ArbysRoastbeeff: Yeah call holders are going to get cooked bad this afternoon
[+9] u/DebtOk4461: 🥭 is a shady, manipulating fuck.
[+9] u/SadDevelopment3049: You’d have to be retarded to believe this shit lmao
[+9] u/2AMTrader: Hes making it so the US can back out and look like they got a deal, Truth doesnt mater
[+9] u/BigGain_Shrek: Elon diluted tsla by breaking off all profitable businesses.
If you buy tsla stock you are not getting Ai exposure. You are getting a failing car company at crazy valuations . Have fun baggies !!
[+9] u/Level_Counter3062: Amazing they will pump the market based on a tweet determined false right away but dump on things like beating earnings
[+9] u/TheBlueBlaze: He extended the deadline until market close on Friday. He won't say who in Iran they talked to or anything about what potential deal they've struck. Iran themselves is denying the talks ever happened, at least with anyone important enough to matter.
It's the most obvious ploy to get the market pumped on hopium over the week so that there's some recovery before next weekend when nothing changes or things get worse.
[+9] u/cow_grass: Oil calls for shits and giggles?
[+9] u/Initial_Ad_9250: Everyone point and laugh at bers
>!My leaps might be down 40% but the human spirit is petty or something!<
[+9] u/Cocaine_Addiction: Forgot to disconnect from the company VPN before beating off this morning, woops
[+9] u/bobbyd121: boots on the ground announcement tonight
[+9] u/sekak77: Daily Reminder: Market is Fake and Ghey
[+9] u/vermilli21: I feel like all these “talks” are one sided and he’s just talking to a wall 🤡🤡🤡🤡
[+9] u/FinePerformance1046: I used to enjoy this
[+9] u/SpecialistB: Truth Social has worse ads than porn sites
[+9] u/Quarter-Normal: If you scroll through the truth social comment section you get a free lobotomy. Calls on AI ads
[+9] u/Indra_Sx: Not even 5mins since I bought a call and already down 20%. Should probably take a break.
[+9] u/Frozen_Shades: It's time for everybody's favorite game!
IS.THE.STRAIT.OF.HORMUZ.OPEN?!?!?!?!?!?!
Let's meet our contestants!
[+9] u/deertracker2022: USO bouncing at 110 is everyone calling BS on "productive talks, 5 day pause". Below 100 if there was a shred of credibility.
[+9] u/BioRam: everything has a 5-15% upswing today.
Totally normal and something that should be expected to continue
[+8] u/r0n224: Btw no idea how market reacted with such baseless claims by🥭 🤣
[+8] u/rioferdy838: i love how Jpow is staying on just to fuck with orange man lol
[+8] u/stonewallmfjackson: Who is actually reading this.
[+8] u/BigBritches619: I don’t believe anything this fat fuck says
[+8] u/AskAbject6028: # Trump: Cannot guarantee a deal with Iran
While talking of negotiations, Trump added that he could not guarantee a deal with Iran.
If a deal happens, it’s a great start for Iran and the region, he said.
[+8] u/jeezuspieces: Commence dumping sequence
[+8] u/WalrusHonda: There are Some very certain , detailed discussions of witch concepts of the plan will be perused in the next excursion.
[+8] u/rubsdikonxpensivshit: I like my women like I like my options. Tight spread, low volatility, cheap, and only held onto for a short period
[+8] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: by far, the most annoying part about this is that the time 🥭 finally isn't lying, bulls will take it as proof they were right this entire time
[+8] u/zestykite: Puts at open got crushed
[+8] u/Ok_GAINZ: Believe the news or not, it doesnt matter. What you can believe is the bottom side of JPM's collar is at 6475 on SPX exp. 3/31 and they dont miss too often. positioning yourself around institutional positions usually works in your favor regardless of tweets or fake news. the puts at 6500, 200 day ma, 50 weekly ma, and JPM's support all in one spot make for a good line in the sand. translate those prices to spy and boom. you have defined lows and support to be bullish and play mean reversion. targets to break to be bearish to new lows.
[+8] u/iFiredIce: Imagine believing someone who has lied to you hundreds of times
[+8] u/Aggravating_Sir_4709: Very stable market for a very stable leader.
[+8] u/_Doomer_Wojack_: This is so god dam stupid I’m buying more puts 🥭is insane bullshit
[+8] u/posicrit868: >Iran disputed 🥭claim that the U.S. and Iran had held “very good” talks on ending the conflict, casting it as a ploy to soothe markets and to buy time for more military action.
Who’s lying more 🥭 or 🇮🇷?
[+8] u/Aggravating_Fig6288: This pump is the biggest use case against AI/Algos I have ever seen. Pump -.9% to 1.6% off “peace talks going well” from one side. The other two sides deny it, yet it stays propped up.
[+8] u/KevinTheTurtle1: I’m STILL A BEAR 🐻‼️💥 🥭 WILL REVERSE THE TACO LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES
[+8] u/CalyShadezz: Two words.
Exit liquidity.
[+8] u/whatsgoingonhonestly: Lmao nobody believes the moron
[+7] u/DatsMaPurse_IDKU: How lovely, some cheap puts 🥰
[+7] u/Aromatic-Ad-6244: Can we just pump 10% so that i can sell my calls, shares, every fucking thing and move to the countryside? I'm tired of the market
[+7] u/Ok_Wealth_3433: Probably some puts here I guess, Iran claims there has been no talks, and this all hinges on a deal actually being done
[+7] u/shindiggaa: bers getting vaporized
[+7] u/eggmaker: Bloomberg tv sees right through this. The market may not care though
[+7] u/Haunting-Window-5125: The market can endlessly just believe whatever it wants its insane lol
[+7] u/SaaSGrass: Love a good Iranian breakfast taco
I posted in here that this would happen 5 times yesterday and was laughed at by 500IQ ber
[+7] u/smart_doge: I have cracked it. 🥭 is a thetard!
[+7] u/Baydreams: Mission Accomplished, Pretty Much
[+7] u/aphel_ion: Trump just said the strait of Hormuz would be controlled jointly between him and the ayatollah.
Dude has already moved on to the “very strong and formidable people on the other side” phase of his foreign policy with Iran
[+7] u/Remarkable-Garage126: Why are we still up? Iran called BS
[+7] u/BlitzComet95: Bought a 661p. You’re welcome for the world peace
[+7] u/DarkR124: I always sit here and think “no way this market is this dumb to pump on *insert reason from chronically habitual liar/corrupt admin here*” and yet I see people in here celebrating like oil infrastructure isn’t destroyed and there is still an active war.
[+7] u/Apple2o: Open the fucking casino
[+7] u/Grey-59throwaway: Last night you retards said today was my day 🐻
[+7] u/Flashy-Truth-8826: 90k job with a 30 min commute or 78k fully remote?
Edit:
Damn *remote* whooped some serious ass here
[+7] u/pinghing: The recent market manipulation is why I am financially a bol but spiritually a ber 😭
[+7] u/vermilli21: Man actually I dont even know what to do today. Feels like its a trap in either direction
[+6] u/ai___________: How’s unilaterally stopping war not called surrender?
[+6] u/Zeppu: I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who has productive conversations with imaginary people.
[+6] u/stupidber: The greenest fucking thing you ever seen
[+6] u/buttaviaper: I wish I had money left to gamble, fuck
[+6] u/makhnosfork: Wild fuckin time to be alive.
[+6] u/Lapidated_Llama: This market is a joke.
[+6] u/FuckleUp: As the very strong new leader of 🇮🇷 I can confirm talks are going well. 👋 I’m Jerry
[+6] u/Jackfitton12: I’m convinced Aliens could invade Earth and laser us all to death and the Market would go up the next day
[+6] u/No-Plankton9514: Bill Gates’ microsoft weiner stuck in the transmission
[+6] u/CultureForsaken3762: This is the easiest rip you’ll ever be able to sell
[+5] u/AfraidAnalyst: So when does this drill again? Lulz
[+5] u/iThinkiStartedATrend: This market is only meant to milk options traders. Prove me wrong
[+24] u/optionsCone: Fuck these insiders
> 5 minutes before Trump’s announcement:
>* $1.5B notional worth of S&P500 (ES) futures are bought in a single clip.
>* $192M notional of oil futures (CL) sold.
>More than 4x-6x any other trade size during the market close.
>Insiders profited from his lies in broad daylight!
[+16] u/torokunai: #Trump says the US will “just keep bombing” if the talks with Iran fail.
there's the only news flow of note. There are no "talks" so they will ofc "fail"
[+16] u/soscribbly: This dude said he’s “taking Cuba” next 🤣🤣
Mf thinks he’s boss of the world. Arrest this fuck already
[+15] u/Funk-masta-frek: This all pumping on a blatant lie is hilarious, why even day trade?
[+15] u/brucekeller: Noticing more people now using AI when posting not just because of bots/scams, but because they simply don’t have the capability of crafting a cohesive post lol.
[+14] u/soad1331: Wen markets realize:
1. There are no talks
2. Strait still closed
3. Iran still lobbing missiles
4. 🥭 still full of 💩
📉
[+13] u/voidedhip: So Trump lies and fuck my puts, Iran drops that they haven’t even talked to him, and the market stays propped up. Triple down on puts?
[+13] u/CanAdditional8109: this guy's a master of market manipulation, ngl
never trust your own two eyes here, folks
[+13] u/Embarrassed-Past-756: Free money on puts. Litterally so obvious 🥭 is lying. Once people realize this it’s going down -2%
[+12] u/angrybubblez: Market is on believe every lie 🥭 says mode
[+12] u/JernauG: Anyone tempted to buy oil? It’s down because of a tweet by a liar
[+12] u/youreaditfirst: **its only manipulation if it you lose money but your a genius when it makes you money**
[+12] u/Austinsteinm: Guys.. what if 🥭 is lying???
[+12] u/CLYDEFR000G: Not buying shit today. This pump is fake and you are being trapped as exit liquidity.
Ports in flames, refineries blown up, mines laying in the water, $2 million expense added on to every boat that is allowed to pass which the cost will just be shifted to the consumer down the line. This is so obviously going in to global recession. How soon? Fuck if I know, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to buy at near ATH on any of these names lmao
[+12] u/browsk: We don’t even know who Donny spoke with on Irans side, just taking his word for it lmao
[+12] u/foobar18648: We had pretty bearish news and the market only dropped 6 or 7%. A tweet about a meeting that didn't happen caused a 2% rebound. It's pretty clear the market wants one last euphoric pump before reality sets in.
[+12] u/decjr06: How many of y'all got tacod right in the face this morning?
[+11] u/spudbro00: Mango releases this news an hour before market open and then puts a 5 day extension to get us thru this weeks market until weekend hits and markets closed. The greatest grifter in history lol
[+11] u/Alive-South-8808: I couldn't resist QQQ puts just now lol. 🫡
[+11] u/Metal-Water: Puts were obvious, so then why did I paper hand them? 🤡
[+11] u/isolated-cat: IRAN'S FOREIGN MINISTRY SPOKESPERSON SAYS STANCE ON STRAIT OF HORMUZ, CONDITIONS TO END WAR DID NOT CHANGE -IRNA
the blatant manipulation in futures market needs to be studied. where the checks and balances at?
[+11] u/Ok_Try7185: Only been a gay bear for a day and it’s awesome. Still haven’t told my parents
[+10] u/Castopliani: So did anyone learn their lesson that starting at futes is useless or are we gonna do it all night again next time
[+10] u/AgitatedStranger9698: If I were a YOLO'ing bastard....I'd buy puts in the 6600 range ~2-3pm today for EOW.
Iran's already stated there are no negotiations taking place. The strait will stay closed. We're like 1 Great Satan away from some more bombing...
That being said, Trump does need an exit, so a ceasefire makes sense. Israel will ignore it and we'll be back in no time.
[+10] u/rand_walking_charts: 🥭 is having imaginary friends which is bullish 😂😂😂
[+10] u/LordWop: Is the straight of homos open ?
[+10] u/MeYouThemEveryone: Everyone talking like SPY700 is back on the menu
[+10] u/ThetaFarmingRegard: farts are getting wetter
red by close
[+10] u/KimJongUnsTrousers: The most violent rallies happen during bear markets
[+10] u/Stealthless: This circus is a day trader's wet dream
[+10] u/SeaweedLeft9746: Strait will still be closed by eow, mega reversal incoming
[+10] u/ThisCrayonEater: And here comes the drop that ruins everyone’s calls. But not a big enough drop to help puts.
[+10] u/ratfukabich: "Hey, wait a minute, this guy might be LYING!" -Market
[+10] u/An_Unusual_Mind: Market believes trump more than iran. This is trumps power.
[+10] u/sconnie64: So let me get this right. We kill the supreme leader, bomb an elementary school, sink an unarmed warship, let a nation with generations that have hated the western world get leverage over 20% of the western world's most needed commodity and all of a sudden its "alright cool gg lets go grab some cold ones and BLTs at the clubhouse" like we're shaking hands with putters in hand on the 18th green at Mar - a - lago and we're just gonna go back to normal? Puts it is.
[+9] u/outoftownMD: At 7:04 AM ET today, President Trump said “the US and Iran have had productive discussions" to end the Iran War.
By 7:10 AM ET, the S&P 500 surged +240 points adding +$2 TRILLION in market cap.
27 minutes later, Iran completely denied all of President Trump's claims and said there has been "no contact" with the US.
By 8:00 AM ET. the S&P 500 had fallen -120 points erasing -$1 trillion in market cap.
[+9] u/Horcsogg: I wish he could really TACO out. I wish Iran would let him taco out. I truly wish so. Even though I am up to the tits with oil stocks, I wouldn't mind losing a few grands if that means this retarded war would end. Cause if this war really escalates, apart from a lot of senseless war causalities, water and food shortages will also kill a lot of people and truly cause suffering in dozens of 3rd world countries.
I don't care what they have to do, the US fucked up big time. At the very least they need to give a hundred billion $, and whatever else they ask for, just make sure this stupid conflict doesn't escalate...
It really feels like Mango wants to taco out, if Iran lets him, he will.
[+9] u/Ok_Importance9886: Taco likely planning a Kragg Island takeover by Friday , he says he wants to talk, Israel says they want more war and we send 7500 more marines with the arrival of **USS Boxer Amphibious. Taco is planning for a takeover, this is just a lie to keep market up till Friday.**
[+9] u/zmarrano91: I think we are all living in a collective psychosis
[+9] u/OffTheDivingBoard: Money is being molested in ways you cannot comprehend
[+9] u/GodTheAlien: Schrodinger's Strait. It's open AND closed.
[+9] u/unhappyreach_: Yesterday was the most bearish Ive ever seen this sub, and I am sometimes beartarded
We all knew it would bounce today
[+9] u/skychief99: I'm the reverse Warren Buffet. Fearful when others are Greedy.
[+9] u/InIce1234: *"You lose some, you lose some."*
— Bear
[+9] u/No_Skirt_4689: So he’s trying to 🌮 but they’re not gonna let him? Shocking.
[+9] u/triggaparty: They went all in on puts
https://preview.redd.it/7rgkqpt8ctqg1.jpeg?width=620&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=835784aa3d3d3fe94d7ca286411b1065d751efb6
[+9] u/jnas_19: IRAN'S FOREIGN MINISTRY SPOKESPERSON SAYS IN RECENT DAYS, FRIENDLY COUNTRIES SENT MESSAGES INDICATINS U.S. REQUEST TALKS TO END WAR, IRAN DID NOT RESPOND -IRNA
[+8] u/MrCoolGuy42: Which one of you’ze told me to buy puts at open 😾
[+8] u/JakeSal10: I fear I got my gay little bear foot stuck in a trap
[+8] u/Man_of_LOL: 650 puts I don’t think this rally is real, not a ber though I just think it’s short lived
[+8] u/soad1331: As long as the Strait is closed, I'll remain ghey 🌈
[+8] u/highlanderquestion90: Bulls *stomping their feet and puffin their faces* why doesn't hype overpower facts *stomping feet*
[+8] u/cryptohorn: 1.) make arbitrary deadline
2.) reneg on said deadline
3.) profit!
[+8] u/CUTON1C: Damn, so trump lied?
[+8] u/StandardDot5115: this weeks market prediction by day
ber trap <-- u are here
bul trap
ber trap
ber trap
bul trap
[+7] u/Skeezerman: This pump is definitely fake and gay and I really should cash out but I won’t.
[+7] u/Muted-South4737: Market just did a bump, look at it soar.
[+7] u/Key-Employ-2049: Bought shit ton of 0dte puts
[+7] u/Dry_Bar_4965: CLASSIC.
Price moves up a shit ton over night and im stuck trading this chop
[+7] u/Voltthrower69: You don’t move marines to the gulf to pretend this is gonna happen. They are forsure invading on the weekend.
[+7] u/Devastaytah: Think we are pumping til Wednesday then resume dump.
[+7] u/Metal-Water: Being single gets old
[+7] u/thefxll: bull or bear, you gotta admit this is thrilling levels of retardation and money making opportunities
[+6] u/hoopaholik91: Eh, the market just believes that Trump is looking for an out, not that it will actually happen. That's why we are still at 661 instead of 680.
[+6] u/Ragnaroknight: I have no skin in the game currently. But today feels like a huge overreaction to "good" news. Like how does oil go down 10%+ based on basically nothing?
[+6] u/Ready_Scratch_1902: Wars are shit coins at this point
[+6] u/Western-Bear-3568: i swapped my calls for 0dte puts at open
AMA
[+6] u/Afraid_Contest_6769: These bears are haters and idiots
[+6] u/Rude_Assistance_4386: Furiously wishing in one hand, while shitting in the other
Will update y'all on how that turns out
[+6] u/ful_stahp: I'm out until our economy is no longer tweet based. Best of luck y'all, hope you get rich. It was a fun ride up the last couple of years.
[+6] u/anerdknownaswill: Someone give me one reason the market is green today
[+5] u/Thoughtful_Tortoise: Iran denied any talks have taken place, Mango claims they're going well. Who to believe, who to believe...
[+5] u/Same-Brilliant2014: Got it, puts a week out
[+5] u/Legal-Resolution-153: Bottom line is we either go nuclear and blow up the earth or we offramp. Calls either way.
[+28] u/trumpdiego: ##lol the guy the US was supposedly talking with literally tweeted this: "No negotiations have been held with the US, and fakenews is used to manipulate the financial and oil markets and escape the quagmire in which the US and Israel are trapped." https://x.com/mb_ghalibaf/status/2036108700524347420
[+23] u/burtburtburtcg: Damn some of yall really got gaslit by a tweet fired off mid poo
[+19] u/Legitimate_Tough_119: Trump called 1-800-iran-gov and some dude in Michigan picked up.
[+19] u/pmotiveforce: If we close red this would officially be the funniest day in literal _hours_.
[+18] u/skin_flute_player: 🥭: “Yeah, I spoke to John Iran. He said we were cool”
[+17] u/whitepug: " IRAN'S PARLIAMENT SPEAKER SAYS 'FAKE NEWS' USED TO MANIPULATE OIL MARKETS "
Someone finally fucking said it THANK YOU
[+17] u/Chemical_Fly8816: They’re lying about talks to buy time for a buildup of troops around Iran. If you believe this is over, you’re fucking dumb.
[+16] u/anonkraken: YOU 🫵 are exit liquidity
[+14] u/Euphoric_Present8838: Give us a circuit breaker today. We all deserve it.
[+13] u/PompeiiSketches: When obvious market manipulation by cheeto pumps the market
Bulls: HAHA FUCK YES, FUCK YOU BEARS
When the obvious lie is exposed as a lie.
Bulls: WTF WHAT IS THIS MARKET???
[+13] u/DickiesDippinDicks: Some mod in the chat is so upset
Cry about it
[+12] u/PompeiiSketches: Trump was actually negotiating with Netanyahu wearing a mustache disguise.
[+12] u/ChewbaccaIsBear: Am I the only one amazed that after **TACO TACOING SO MUCH, that he still swings the whole fucking market with a tweet?** is the market this blind? **or are MMs just faking taking his tweets seriously to have an EXCUSE** to cause wild swings and inject tons of IV as a result and make triple the moneis from us?
[+12] u/GodFather2004: So fucked yo I commented on a daily discussion thread from last week
[+11] u/Ok-Thought-9960: It appears a SEC director of enforcement has left because they wouldnt pursue people related to 🥭 engaging in shifty shit. Nice 10pts america! We are so fucked.
[+11] u/Crypto_Force_X: Schrodinger's Iran war peace talks.
[+11] u/StockB0Y: Can't believe people still believe what he says
[+11] u/Typical_Tank_4674: Literally how is this still being propped up…
[+11] u/Wonderful-Tomato-829: Say what you will about 🥭 but the fact he can lie all the time and get away with it is truly amazing. Literally the 🐐 of grifting.
[+11] u/StrangeInsanity: How desperate do you have to be to lie publicly like that. The media is making no effort to hold him accountable at this point. Shame....
[+11] u/shortitforever: Bulls are not serious creatures
[+11] u/TestingLifeThrow1z: Some mf said "here comes the V".
[+11] u/weewoowewoooo: This entire market and country is a fucking joke lmfao
[+11] u/kaapooj: taco got called out by several iranian gov figures and media outles. europe + east asia didn't pin down trump on his taco. israel vows to continue attacks.
this will be ugly
[+10] u/Electrical_Trash_992: Iran officially confirms no US talks and Hormuz to remain closed LOL
[+10] u/Marshmallowmind2: Bulls in church praying for peace. Bears in church praying for ww3
[+10] u/Powerful_Mission_655: It would be crazy if spy goes red before close
[+10] u/zeren1ty: Dumb bols thought 🫵🤡
[+10] u/Mental-Associate3902: What are the odds 🥭 had a dream last night that he actually spoke to Iran and thats the basis of his tweet.
[+10] u/arkeus1: Oil back at 100 lmaoo
[+10] u/Sco_420: Jim Cramer bull tweeting. We may just close red
[+10] u/Responsible_Scar6089: How did you guys not buy spy poots lol
[+10] u/YaLlegaHiperhumor: I don't get why the market reacts to Iran saying that the US didn't contact them *now* when the same story was reported before market open???
[+10] u/moorhound: Man, this was a gambit.
Once markets have to accept that the *President of the United States* is willing to blatantly lie to their faces, this shits drilling to the netherworld. If he'd lie so boldly about this, do you think he's telling the truth about the state of the economy, and these economic data releases?
[+10] u/PoliticsIsDepressing: If we finish in negative territory today…hold onto your butts.
[+10] u/Slayingsteeel: +30% -30% +30% -30%. Watching this at work is brutal
[+10] u/Loose_Stool_12: If you're buying now, be sure to confirm your address with your brokerage to receive your "Fell for it Again" award in the mail soon 🤤🏅
[+10] u/CallmeWooki: Im the Iranian Trump spoke with ama
[+10] u/mgbkurtz: Iran knows the only way they can survive is inflicting as much economic pain as possible
[+10] u/sonofalando: I want off Donny’s Wild Ride 🤡
[+10] u/jraiv420: Oil is calling 🥭 bluff
[+9] u/lupinle1: The butterfly effect is mind-boggling. A crazy American kid missing by half an inch somehow leads to the wipe out of the entire Iranian leadership and a possible global market crash.
[+9] u/Curious_Ad8367: Who is buying these dips tf
[+9] u/Far-Requirement9180: Big boys were bailed out, time to dump on poors
[+9] u/BubbaDaHorse: elect a clown, get a circus
[+9] u/skin_flute_player: It’s so funny watching 🥭 trying to deal with a country that literally have nothing to lose and give zero fucks. They’re just calling every bluff.
[+9] u/TraipseTraveller: This thread is more gey than usual today
[+9] u/fuck_zebster: FIFA peace prize winners do not negotiate for peace deals when will bull learn .
[+9] u/Manufactured_feces: Trump, Netanyahu and the Iranian Revolutionary Guard need to jump on a zoom call.
[+9] u/falling_knives: So Trump can make big threats followed by TACOing over and over and the market will continually break all time highs? 5d chess.
[+9] u/Typical_Tank_4674: Spy gonna give back another 1% EOD after people finally realize mango lied
[+9] u/thegx7: Wsb bulls need hopital
[+9] u/burtburtburtcg: Delusions are at ATH
[+9] u/burtburtburtcg: Imagine making investment decisions based on that fucking senile tweet, lmfao
[+9] u/Swaggerpro: I need a cigarette for this shit and I don’t even smoke
[+9] u/Abe2025: Destruction resumes tomorrow
[+9] u/Illustrious-Low4128: Made 13k today idk ive ruined the concept of making money for myself. My bi-weekly paycheck is a 4th of that.
[+8] u/drbigtoe: we are selling to WILLING BUYERS at the CURRENT FAIR MARKET PRICE
[+8] u/MooseyGoosey69: Trump negotiating with Borat
[+8] u/the-revenge-trader: Market is up on a fake news and won’t last long
[+8] u/KehreAzerith: Market is still this high even after Iran confirmed that negotiations are bullshit and mango conjured it all up in his dementia ridden brain
[+8] u/delicious_oppai: Thank you Iran for printing my puts. Fuck America 🐻
[+8] u/caliwillbemine: “War is over!”
*checks strait nobody’s moving*
Iran: “yeah dog this shit ain’t over”
Market: “whatever dog fuckin pump it”
[+8] u/KingRegardothe2nd: Friendly nations messages about US wanting to talk left on one tick lol
[+8] u/LeakMyBigBowls: knew it was too good to be true lol
[+8] u/burtburtburtcg: This weeks specials:
Monday: 🌮
Tuesday: all you can eat 🌮Tuesday. Eat up, piggy.
Wednesday: 🌮
Thursday: 🌮
Friday: 🌮
We are closed Saturday and Sunday so our underpaid staff has time with their families.
We have cancelled enchilada, fajita, and tamale specials indefinitely.
[+7] u/TestingLifeThrow1z: Woke up, it was bigly red before sleep, *checks app* “wtf”
[+7] u/jraiv420: MM really created fake news for exit liquidity 😂
[+7] u/EntrepreneurOld7858: "Erm, the market is up on fAkE nEwS, it wont last long"
This entire last year has been up on fake news, where the fuck have you been?
[+7] u/thowthembowz: green to red lets go
[+7] u/ItsHighNoonBang: Puts were actually the easiest play today ever
[+7] u/Swaggerpro: The whole market be like 🤡
[+7] u/bbbyismymommy: How are they still looking for a Leader in Iran but orange already talked? Wtf is Happening???
[+6] u/Vegetable_Push6542: Every year without fail, SMCI has some massive scandal where it tanks 30%+ and then recovers a few weeks later. You're supposed to buy the dip whenever it happens.
[+6] u/Vast_Presentation909: Amazon up more than qqq?? Miracles exist
[+26] u/soyeahiknow: Its working, I haven't heard the media talking about the Epstein files
[+25] u/zurijer: Bols: Mango wants to de-escalate.
World: Have you asked Iran?
[+24] u/Vihurah: 🥭 : "ok iran you have 5 seconds to give up. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.5, 1, .5, .25. .125"
[+22] u/PM_ME_YOUR___ISSUES: “Iran has one more opportunity to end its threats”
I thought he said that the last time as well
[+22] u/LiamPhlegmsworth: Maybe the rapture already happened because wtf is this world? We’re literally being run by the dumbest, most evil people possible. Thankfully they’re so incompetent otherwise it’d be worse…
[+21] u/Aggressive_Bit_91: 🥭 gonna be the first trillionaire when he leaves office from the amount of insider trading
[+18] u/uwu_owo_whats_this: What lie was tweeted out now
[+17] u/Substantial-Use-2867: He said DOW 50k again. Well, pack it up, we're fucked.
[+17] u/L3GASEE: real humans clapping for this guy lmao
[+17] u/nascarhero: They cracked the code
1. Make wild threat
2. Say war is over/world peace achieved/talks going well
3. Market recovers beyond the point it was at when fake threat was made
4. Repeat as necessary to keep market propped up and oil futures down
[+17] u/NewDawn101: 🥭 be talking some nonsense and just says “you know what hotel I’m talking about” without any context
No man we have no idea.
[+15] u/VellyJanta: Lmao blaming democrats for the war haha
[+15] u/FullCopy: 🥭 advisors are informing him the voices in his head are not the “alternative Iranian leadership”
[+14] u/FartPolluter: People think the US administration are insider trading and not terrified of a 2008-style crash massively underestimates how deep in the shit this could still yet go
[+14] u/Fantastic_Pirate3948: At some point the lies have to quit working.
[+14] u/AdCritical5383: “Years later they would learn that 🥭 had a tumor the size of a brain for a brain.” -The Narrator
[+13] u/shawthdalord: Sold my puts for a 90% loss before it plummet -clown-
[+13] u/BGMilan: mods need to administer an IQ test before letting you retards comment in this sub
[+13] u/Fearless-Hat-3272: Another Iran official just reiterated that they have not spoken with tangerine
[+13] u/Time_Molasses_1581: I’m still laughing at the 641-666 candle we got off a single fake tweet 😂😂😂 went from -99% to +300%
[+13] u/kasualkactus: Selling everything on this fake pump
[+13] u/winner_in_life: You’re going to Iran son.
[+12] u/leshermes: the algos are dumb as fuck, can’t tell from a lie, stupid ass AI with no emotional intelligence
[+12] u/McClintockC: The boy who cried "pump"
[+12] u/rnbwshrm: A stroke would be welcome right now
[+11] u/Poptart_Salad: Algos really heard "we're going to share control of the strait, me and the Ayatollah" this morning and were like, yeah, I believe that is a real possibility, buy.
[+11] u/hello2016: bro really said “peace talks going well”
[+11] u/Money_Essay7793: Did anyone notice when the market start tanking, 🥭 comes out with positive news?🤔
[+11] u/Cymycyck: i ll stick to his tweets, cant listen to this shit, calls on my brainrot
[+11] u/Lanky-Ad-4579: Who is respecting us. We are now the laughing stock
[+11] u/VellyJanta: “When I walk around DC I see young beautiful women and they tell me, you know what”
👀
“They say thank you president”
[+11] u/McTurtleAteMyCalls: Due to the internet blackout no one in Iran knew how close they came to losing the internet.
[+11] u/AnAssholesBestFriend: "WTF why are we going down the serial liar said war talks going good??" - some seriously regarded bulls ITT
[+11] u/Cristian7x: lmaooo it’s so clearly market manipulation
[+11] u/hayleybts: Even as bol I know it's dump time
[+11] u/coloredzebra: Bro, I literally can't get hired anywhere wtf is going on 😭
[+11] u/J_da_CPA: Moving to China for the stability
[+11] u/puffinnbluffin: This guy is absolutely fucking retarded. How the hell is this real life
[+11] u/Interesting_Leg8859: # RESPECT THE KANGAROO
[+10] u/broke_person: Trump using this tactic to get Iran to talk to him lmao
[+10] u/AdCritical5383: You’d think there would be consequences for just making shit up during such a high stakes geopolitical crisis.
But not when you have >!the retard strength.!<
[+10] u/ContributeAVerse: Hope you took that put buying opportunity
[+10] u/Material_Formal3679: The military leadership of Iran has to feel good about how much 🥭 is bullshitting and saying the war is over.
[+10] u/fe2sio4: Dude it’s fog of war! enemies won’t know what we doing if we don’t know what we doing
[+10] u/ayashifx55: lol. Tonight, orange man is going to say its a joke about the talk because his friends loaded on Puts after selling all these delicious calls and pumps.
[+10] u/OGWFORLIFE: So did bro just lie to crash oil? I mean what the fuck?
[+10] u/TheOldRamDangle: Micron is the biggest piece of shit
[+10] u/Gullible_Ad3785: Lol, he has to wait for the Marines to arrive. Threatening the grid does 0 because the leadership doesn't care about its people and has all the generators.
If the tankers aren't moving this is not over.
[+9] u/volckerwasright: Imagine going long because of mango tweet and ignoring Israel bombing Tehran immediately after. Dummy!
[+9] u/Rrrandomalias: Did Trump really name his son after Oil Barrons of the early 1900s?
[+9] u/Quartertipsy: Last chance to exit longs
[+9] u/ElkSad9855: VIX bout to go green tho. It’s going up sharply, the sell off pump and dump TACO
[+9] u/PicklesAreTight: Bruh if this ends red lol
[+9] u/Captain_Lameson: The moment I buy puts is the moment this will elevator up to the heavens.
[+8] u/BrainMale: iShitBloodandCumShit having the higher amount of comments is not a good sign. All in puts
[+8] u/Anonymustafar: It’s always
“Manipulated”
Not
“I’m over leveraged”
[+8] u/patricktu1258: I don’t even want to be rich I just want my money back.
[+8] u/InevitableAd2436: Imagine believing in the efficient market hypothesis
[+7] u/ModeForJoe: One thing I can't figure out... why taco at 7AM EST? He doesn't normally taco like that. This one seems weird. Obviously, the taco itself is not at all surprising, but it nevertheless feels off. What's he cooking? Delay tactic? Actual capitulation? Bigger bribes from gulf states?
[+7] u/cosmicoconuts: Is this about to dump 😳
[+6] u/godsweetsac: I dont check my port i just look at the sentiment in here and guestimate if im red or green
[+22] u/Violent_Mud_Butt: An entire market moving on fucking tweets of a pedophile.
[+12] u/givemethestars000: Trump literally said he'll run Iran lmao
[+11] u/Razvanell95: the retard just won't take an L for once in his entire life, ya'll fucked overseas
[+11] u/Stonkies4tendies: Still believe in red by eod
[+10] u/bigrogerenergy: DJT thinks meeting with the Shah's exiled son = negotiating with Iran
[+10] u/Extension-Extreme523: imagine an incestuous geriatric pedophile criminal predator calling the other guys evil
[+9] u/StraitOfHummus: Trump is live and unhinged on The White House YouTube channel, get in now for the latest "we won the war" comments.
[+9] u/__nameless____: Have your heard the story of paperclip?
[+9] u/Crackbot420-69: Trying to pump the markets again with the same “news” three hours later
[+8] u/Micheal_Hancho: # 🤣 Oh my god HE FUCKING TACOed AGAIN!
[+8] u/RareEurf: #BULLS ♻️🈯️❎✅✳️❇️💹💚📈🧪🦠🔫🪛🔋📟🧩⛳️🪀🥒🥬🥦🫑🫛🥝🍏🍋🟩🍀☘️🍃🌴🌳🌿🌱🪴🌵🐲🐉🦖🦎🐸🐍🐢🐊🩲
[+8] u/SilverPrivateer: Saylor is right. Building an economy on something that can be throttled by one bad actor instead of building it on something decentralized is INSANE.
[+8] u/iratezero: I have postponed panic selling my SLV and GLD following productive conversations with Emily Ratajkowski
[+8] u/whatislifebruh: Why couldn’t god bless me with knowing someone in the White House that could tell me to load up on puts/calls minutes before a truth post.
[+7] u/chairforce01: 🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨🚨🚨
Capricious man does capricious things!
Analysis: his word is bond! All troubles are over! The dead come back to life! In fact, they never died!
[+7] u/ReadyRaspberry8663: I guess all the insiders got out of their calls huh
[+7] u/awstick: Who got the fell for it again award today?
[+6] u/No-Detective-6229: 🥭 is definitely not talking to any Iranians, get real. pump and dump.
[+6] u/ExoticDaikon1872: Trump a while ago said he cant even talk to Iran because their leaders are gone, you can clearly see he was talking to imaginary iran leaders about it
[+6] u/Any-Papaya6486: 🥭 lied?
WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT
[+6] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: NO NEGOTIATIONS HAVE BEEN HELD WITH US...who woulda thought
[+23] u/Whoopziedaisy: Most obvious pump and dump of all time
No way in hell the Iranians are negotiating with the U.S. or Israel. Mango has fucked them in negotiations two or three times already pulling the rug out or just being deceitful… going back to his first term. They were in the middle of a negotiation like two months ago and are now getting bombed to hell
This is a “stop the bleeding” war cry before the bleeding continues
There’s no quick end to what they started over there
[+22] u/Illimited_Esoterica: We are postponing any action for the exact number of days the stock market is open. Boots on the ground this Saturday.
[+21] u/ultrachem: This war isn't over. Mango is lying for sure
[+16] u/Bludeagle: Traps up, traps down. Everyone is losing
[+16] u/LeftBullTesty: last chance to sell your calls before your port gets sent to the shadow realm
[+15] u/SoloOutdoor: I can stay retarded longer than mango can lie about a cease fire.
[+14] u/Sandvicheater: onlyfan founder and billionaire died today due to cancer. You better believe he'd would give up all his billions cash just to have one extra year of life in your broke ass shoes.
[+14] u/KYEEZY98: This is the deadest cat of dead cat bounces.
[+14] u/potato111a: Saylor bought another 1000 🌽 at 74k.. when it was 68-69 the entire weekend... he has to b regarded somehow
[+13] u/Potential-March-1384: This dickriding is fucking embarrassing
[+13] u/pineapplekiwipen: we're about to close the iranian peace deal brokered by the honorable prince mohammad al-kebab of nigeria, just need to send him $1B negotiation fee
[+13] u/TheoryInttro: Scamvana up 7%, Google going red again. What the fuck is this clown market?
[+13] u/br0botic: > “Who do you believe more, the president of the United States or Iran?”
Is not something you would ever expect to hear
[+13] u/pineapplekiwipen: man american media has been so worthless for updates in this war al jazeera is actually kind of goated for monitoring the situation
[+13] u/breaker_bad: MANY PRODUCTIVE TALKS WITH YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT. THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!
[+13] u/ClaytonRook: A convicted criminal is manipulating the stock market.
[+12] u/I-IV-I64-V-I: 90 trade deals in 90 days...
It's just a 2 week lockdown...
Iran asked for a cease fire
[+12] u/CulturalConclusion76: It's going to be like last week. Huge pump Monday, bleed for the rest of the week.
This is the 🥭 market
[+12] u/D1finalboss: I’m holding one SPY put contract please clap
[+12] u/Morocier: Fucking market is gay as shit
[+12] u/Prestigious_Suit_202: the only thing worse than when the market goes down is when the market wont go down
[+12] u/mylowerbackhurts: 🥭 is that friend who takes a prank in a prank war too far and immediately says “ok, truce”
[+12] u/mrmagootoyou2: Iran has zero reason to give this up right now and let Israel and US rebuild interceptors...
Also Russia is making billions off this while arming Iran with better tech and intel
[+12] u/bluen: This is not the leg down that I predicted
[+11] u/zeusbox: "Peace talks going well" - 🥭
[+11] u/Crazy-Pickle-7412: I will full port puts to save all the bols
[+10] u/CFBReform: Stairs down, elevator up
[+10] u/EyeSea7923: Microsoft will be forced to update Excel with this type of volatility
[+10] u/Basis_404_: SPY and from a 2.8% gain on the day to a less than 1% gain on the day.
Who doesn’t love volatility
[+10] u/ThatGuyDan123: Puts then calls then puts then calls then puts then calls it was so obvious
[+10] u/Basis_404_: The bulls are learning what a “sawtooth pattern down” looks like in real time
[+10] u/LeftBullTesty: - 🥭 announces strikes are over
- publishes “truth” right before market opens in the clearest attempt to manipulate the markets
- plan works. spy jumps +$10
- Iran disputes peace talks ever happening but boomers cope and buy more and buy
- Israel still pummeling the fuck out of Lesbian
- Jensen doing podcast instead of figuring out what we fuck regular people are going to do with AI other than make shit butt memes and fake news on Facebook
and you think this pump is real? KEK
[+10] u/shimmy_kimmel: Bers, let this be a bit of a lesson: do not fuck around with short-term puts. The market is hypernormalized, it will behave as if Mango is telling the truth even when we know he isn’t, because it’s just easier to operate on that than to face reality.
[+10] u/PhotoSpheres: Quote Trump;
The president of Iran told me that they want the war over. Well, he might not have been from Iran. I think he said that he ran. I also ran earlier today. A five minute mile. People were telling me with tears in their eyes “Mr. President, I have never seen someone run a mile so quickly. “ and I told them “you should’ve seen me when I was younger.” I could’ve ran it hell of a lot quicker, I can tell you that. Quickly, by the way means very fast. No one was saying quickly until I started saying it.
[+10] u/Effective_Swan_6466: WAR TALKS GOING WELL
[+10] u/Immediate-Coast-5066: [https://www.cnbc.com/2026/03/23/volume-in-stock-and-oil-futures-surged-minutes-before-trumps-market-turning-post.html](https://www.cnbc.com/2026/03/23/volume-in-stock-and-oil-futures-surged-minutes-before-trumps-market-turning-post.html)
[+10] u/MorningAlternative43: Well. Just spent the last of my money on SPX puts about 5 seconds before these 2 green dildos. Wtf
[+9] u/Dull-Buy-2776: Weak ass pump my puts didn't even go red
[+9] u/CulturalConclusion76: Once again, all the action happens in pre-market while theta diddles your buy-ins
[+9] u/kemar7856: Are we really gonna end the day red
[+9] u/Ok_Cry7572: The bond market is the only thing Trump listens to. He's cocky now, but if the US10Y goes >4.5 this war will be over the next day.
[+9] u/krazay88: bro someone's cheating
[+8] u/MelonBeefChop: Barron gotta stop asking his dad to do these pumps, its too obvious
[+8] u/BilliamForrester: Israel just hit Tehran again. Seems like a less than effective way to do peace talks but here we are.
[+8] u/DCrebuilds: Wouldn't it be fun if we ended flat today
[+8] u/guzzledglizzy: Drop your OF link and I’ll be sure to submit it to the IRS because I’m sure you hoes ain’t paying taxes
[+7] u/johannschmidt: I guess the market forgot the enemy has a vote.
[+6] u/Happy_Fly_7691: Talked to a drunk on the bus.
[+6] u/NaiveMercury: The big booty latinas aren't gonna pay attention to you anymore after your brent crude contracts got screwed 😂👉🤡
[+23] u/rocier: This market is on crack. Straight up delusional.
[+22] u/absolutxtr: next mango tweet gonna be "I lied, fuck the stonks"
[+19] u/d3sp: Idiots who use "if you don't xxx you must hate money" should be legally mandated to livestream their cocks slammed by dumbbells if their predictions are off
[+19] u/Common_Tough_879: https://www.cnbc.com/amp/2026/03/23/volume-in-stock-and-oil-futures-surged-minutes-before-trumps-market-turning-post.html
CNBC INSIDER TRADING ARTICLE
[+18] u/Alarmed-Rope-9062: Soooo Trump lied about the "positive talks" with Iran..??
[+18] u/Particular-Cake-6430: Bessent definitely had mango's phone call rerouted to a 7-11 employee to play iran leader. That's why he posted it was a productive call cause the guy answered, "this is Iran leader, how can I help you?"
[+17] u/Marcostbo: Fuck this market
Can't predict shit. Nothing makes sense. Numbers mean nothing
Pure vibes
FUUUCKY
[+17] u/Traditional-Cloud154: No one talking about Epstein anymore. Mission accomplished
[+16] u/GoldenAries4: I’m seeing lots of reports that Israel is still striking Iran even after these supposed peace talks. According to them, they were never told to back down by the U.S.
Things are definitely still escalating.
[+16] u/knoqd_: > BREAKING: Pentagon officials weigh deployment of airtroops to Iran, per NYT
[+16] u/thenamelessone7: Why are we green today? Is it because of the made up peace that POTUS announced only for it to be denied 27 minutes later?
[+16] u/Late_Echo1453: Just bought puts. You’re welcome bullz
[+14] u/tinydisaster: Why would you ship out thousands of troops only to taco a few days later. Troops that won’t get there until late April, mid April if they floor it and line up ship oilers to dump fuel in all the way across the pacific.
Why would you set a 48 hour ultimatum if you were in the middle of talks literally over the weekend.
This just seems like another stall to get troops in place and prop up the market for another week.
Meanwhile that strait is still not moving ships, people are still not getting physical oil.
Is 🥭 just looking to see who shows up to the talks so he can air strike them again?
His words say one thing, but his actions don’t suggest this is over.
[+14] u/LongCucumber3710: If we hit a circuit breaker, will it be called 🌮🔔?
[+14] u/Notable_Naps: Maybe I'm not meant to make money
[+14] u/SnickersTheDog: oil is affordable again, I can't believe the solution was just a tweet
[+14] u/f0xinaround: Only way to make money in this market is to go against all reason.
[+14] u/twenty_three_three: just checking in, still not seeing non-China, non-Iran tankers move through the strait.
[+14] u/Necessary_Fly_9266: This shit is going to dump hard 😅
[+13] u/Specialist_Resort539: I stopped playing options last year when the quarterly GDP was revised from +0.2% to -0.4% and the markets gave no fucks at all. I realized then the market is 100% beyond regarded. Still looking pretty fucking true LMAO.
[+13] u/jay4281: People actually buying calls right now? 🤡
[+13] u/sandygws: 'Iran warns it has ‘special plans’ for Israel tonight' - The Telegraph.
[+13] u/TheMallard1: I AM PLEASED TO REPORT MY ACCOUNT IS GREEN FOR NOW
[+13] u/Far-Sherbert-8634: Please use your brain and get puts before market closes in 30 minutes
[+12] u/Ahthongkorkor: 🇺🇦 hit 🇷🇺 oil port but oil down more since the news 🤔
[+12] u/Revolver_Lanky_Kong: My local airport (extremely red state) just started accepting donations for TSA agents LMAO this shit is so cooked. Mfers always wanting a handout find your bootstraps.
[+12] u/Independent-Visit139: just wanted to remind you fellas no crying in the casino.
[+12] u/Kodakzack6: Jobs market is fucking hell right now
[+11] u/AdjustDeezNutz: I'm calling this shit fake news and bought spy puts and vix calls.
[+11] u/geddyclaus: What does 🥭 say when someone changes his wet diaper?
Thank you for your attention to this bladder.
[+11] u/B2BContinuum: There will be peace in the middle east ... a piece here, a piece there, pieces everywhere
[+11] u/DinkinFlickka: It feels like Iran has more leverage than the market gives them credit for. What else can we even bomb without fucking the energy market for years?
[+11] u/CoopCrossing: The eeriness, feels like at any moment we’ll get rugged
[+11] u/Necessary-Damage3349: Dear MMs, 1 bull trap pump please
[+10] u/davtheguy00: Life savings on SMCI $28 calls for end of this week.
All a fugazi. It will V this week.
[+10] u/Pure-Marketing-4236: Are you enjoying the show? Refill your popcorn, you’ll love this next part.
[+10] u/Iunatic: Does anyone actually use ChatGPT still? After I installed Gemini and Claude I didn't really ever think to use ChatGPT again lol.
[+9] u/Financial_Winter_497: [ Removed by Reddit ]
[+9] u/Temporary-Equal-774: “Special plans are arranged tonight for Tel Aviv and some regional allies of the US and Israel, which will completely remove any hope of negotiation from the minds of the aggressors,” a source was quoted as saying by Fars, which is affiliated with the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps.
Likely it's split inside Iran. There may really be some talking
[+9] u/jyohnyb: If you think the US or Iran media are going to tell you anything factual, you're gonna have a bad time. Beatings will continue until moral improves
[+9] u/Snoo-90587: Just filled up at 4.88 a gallon where is my 11% discount!
[+8] u/loveiseverything: Love how Iran just won the war by twiiting couple of times and market is instantly super green.
[+7] u/Own_Proposal_4931: 🥭 is definitely closing his calls at the open. Do with this information as you wish
[+7] u/Odd-Block-2998: Orange man: It still closed? No worries, let me write a tweet to save the market.
Chief of stock market protection team.
[+7] u/xjcln: I think what the markets are cheering is that Trump seems to want to get out. Whether Iran will let him leave is anybody's guess, but it is an option for Trump to just pull out of all American bases in the ME, and say to the rest of the world/Israel it's your problem now. At that point I'd expect the war to eventually de-escalate, as long as Israel doesn't go full tard and pull out the nukes.
[+20] u/Unhappy-Ad-2609: BREAKING : Numerous bears injured or killed following an intercontinental taco.
[+17] u/Randomname1157: USO is down 10%. SMCI is up 8%. Almost all the market is green. I'm glad everything is resolved. I was worried about war
[+15] u/I_Sniff_Uranus: Now if he TACOs again literally no one will believe him LMAO
[+13] u/emergencyexit: Thank god the war is over, that could have been bad
[+13] u/MaxVerstudpen: Can't believe the next world war is WW4. WW3 was tame af.
[+13] u/Dependent-Media-1857: turns out lying works
[+12] u/Onyxpropaganda: Puts and calls fucked all day. closing exactly where it opened lmfao
[+12] u/100xOrBust: Another fake pump on fake news was promised to me 3,000 years ago
[+11] u/liikenneaksioma: whoever can make money on this market without being an insider is the most 1000 iq person ever
[+11] u/Weak_Emu3659: The people screaming in all caps this morning are now in prison.
[+11] u/Bad_Driver69: So anyways, lets get back to talking about how the fed is considering HIKING.
[+11] u/Eddyrancid: Why doesn't the US just buy a ton of puts, that way the more of a nightmare shitstorm we create, the better we can fund it
[+11] u/Queasy_Soil9646: Peace deal but troops are going to Iran. Lmao
[+11] u/PeeOnDusk: Marines are invading eye-Ran on Friday after close
[+11] u/EdgeLordMcGravy: Even green days will find a way to have a rug pull
[+11] u/Mark_Underscore: He’s stalling until the marines arrive. Escalation will continue after the close of the market on Friday. I’m calling it now. Boots on the ground next weekend
[+10] u/Awkward_Ad_5102: Market is being such a goofy goober
[+9] u/Artistic_Teach558: Shits dumping friday AH. that seems to be 🥭's favorite time to tell the most horrific news known to man
[+9] u/DigitalAquarius: Look at the bright side, if you survive trading in this market, it’s gonna be a breeze for the rest of your life once all the insanity goes away..
[+9] u/spumpadiznik: My name is Vladimir Putholder
[+9] u/hudson701: get ready for the 3.15pm rug pull....
[+9] u/Paul_Robert_: Fellas, my realized YTD loss might be 51k, but at least I have a flair! 💀
[+9] u/Cygnus_X_I: surely it wont dump tomorrow
[+52] u/hamborgard: It’s almost like politics are the main driving force behind huge swings in our portfolios right now!
[+38] u/boringfantasy: Just let it flow honestly. You can't detach the markets from politics right now.
[+36] u/WordsHappenedHere: Who gives a shit if people talk politics. Everything 🥭 does directly affects markets. If you want to police people go be a crossing guard. Or join ICE.
[+36] u/Icy_Jelly_315: Not really, nobody is speculating about what the dèmocrats would be doing different.
If your port is unaffected by the antics of the diaper pooper could you publish your holdings so we can copy you
[+27] u/rcp_5: Political comments trading competition?
Mods are so gay.
[+27] u/Cheapdronewithboom: Someone in the highest office of the US using the seat to manipulate the market(s) causes political comments on a gambling sub dedicated to said market(s)??
[+24] u/johnwaynewearsadress: Here comes the fatass mod to power trip
[+22] u/RedPiece0601: Oh no, not politics in my politics sub.
[+20] u/Administrative-Ant75: Fitting name, megathreads are 🏳️🌈
[+20] u/cat_herder4: Market is 100% politics now....politics is the new meme market
[+14] u/Administrative-Ant75: They’d all rather be Reddit mods so they can feel important without working for it lol
[+14] u/elpresidentedeljunta: Make the threat... I mean thread. I have a feeling it will be just as successfull as the yearly paper trading competition.
[+13] u/Cheapdronewithboom: Bro one of the regarded mods seems to be hiding from the Iranian hail in Kuwait and still complaining about people being political lol
[+10] u/optiond-nostradamus: Buy puts
Tonight around 1am $651
Tomorrow you wake up and see spy $665
*Insert* Surprised pikachu face
[+10] u/No-Sympathy-686: Daily reminder
https://preview.redd.it/tujv8eqe4uqg1.jpeg?width=4284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=24a3fd6392fc2b5214365a2db4b6862d0d4b1c2b
[+9] u/Pete26l96: Bulls really celebrating about being down 28% instead of down 30% LOL
[+9] u/gainsusmaximus: The straight is closed find another way home pizza boy
[+9] u/Q4shm0ney: thought the stock market didn't like uncertainty but apparently its cool with a lot of it
[+8] u/yaboyay: Biggest scam pump ever and now we’re caught in a theta death squeeze. Nice.
[+8] u/ebitdasga: Can anyone tell me why we were up over 2% this morning?
[+7] u/spyputs1: What the fuck is going on?
[+5] u/mrslipandslide: 24 option transactions to make less than $1 🤣