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[+86] u/dFrame3070: The swan isn’t black this time. It’s fat and orange. And has terminal syphilis.
[+73] u/ThaddeusJP: I swear to God this entire fucking planet is just a private club for about 3,000 people and everybody else on it's just hired help.
[+66] u/ByahhByahh: You know what, let's circle back to buying Greenland.
[+62] u/MagJack: my dog hears that bell on thinkorswim he knows its walk time
[+57] u/Most-Crazy2353: Post the hotline number you fucking fgt mods
[+38] u/Smongk: Bols at the beginning of the week "WaR iS buLliSh"
[+38] u/Neat-Concentrate-239: guys wen does Strait of Hormuz report earnings?
[+35] u/Liquidsnake959: This week devastated me financially.
[+32] u/Eastern-Joke-7537: I was up 6 bucks today.
Ask me anything.
[+32] u/Emilio___Molestevez: *first, they came for the AI bulls. and they got me like right away. I was literally like one of the first people they got*
[+32] u/SaveTheAles: I have a concept of a portfolio.
[+29] u/EarlyPattern6315: Would be fun if war ends on sunday and futures open +3% on monday
[+29] u/KittyLover-7: Why did America throw the best post covid economy in the world in the trash?
[+28] u/GoZukkYourself: #BEARS LMFAO
^^^Sorry, ^^^just ^^^remembering ^^^the ^^^good ^^^times.
[+28] u/ismebbb: BREAKING: BULLS SEEN CRYING IN THE CASINO LMAO
[+27] u/aftherith: At least one of you is going to accidentally take delivery of a thousand barrels of crude oil before this is over.
[+26] u/DahyunDabFan: 🥭 gonna taco and resurrect the ayatollah using stem cells
[+26] u/---Right--Tackle---: #Another plane has hit my portfolio
[+26] u/GoZukkYourself: #MR. GORBACHEV REBALANCE THIS S&P 500
[+25] u/wildcat1055: "If we had not bombed them, they would have had a nuclear weapon, and we can't let crazy people have nuclear weapons." - 🥭
I got some bad news ...
[+24] u/OsamaBagHolding: Trump sends Isreal a STRONGLY WORDED check
[+24] u/Mr-Bonnet: GAVE UP ALL MY WEEKLY GAINS IN 1 DAY
SEE YOU MONDAY
[+23] u/dingusmingus2222: FML. This week has been the longest month of the year...
[+23] u/illicit_FROG: We are pretty regarded on this sub reddit, I have to admit. But at least we aren't r/conservative, what the fuck is wrong with those guys
[+22] u/IDrinkSulfuricAcid: Officially out of cash. Gonna hold and pray for breakeven
[+22] u/Metacog_Drivel: Only down $12k today. That's basically green in this market.
[+22] u/asetniop: 1. Give Iran drones to fire at oil tankers attempting to make the Hormuz crossing.
2. Sell oil to thirsty countries at elevated prices.
3. Use profits to build more drones to give to Iran.
I think Russia may have figured out an infinite money glitch.
[+21] u/HowLongCanIMakeACock: Lmao did you guys see the video of the McDonald’s ceo eating out his wife, one lick and he was done
[+21] u/patrick8515: I dont think anyone is buying this dip
[+20] u/LasyKuuga: Looking back oil calls start of week was obvious and basically free money
Too bad I’m retarded 😔
[+20] u/ResidentPack4103: Fucking hate to say it but 🌈Bers won the week
[+20] u/Kickboy21: Im a bull but todays nonfarm pay roll data, unemployment rate, blackrock news, etc. is making the future bleak as fuck
[+19] u/Paul_Robert_: Infinite money glitch: buy a multiple of 100 shares of SPY, and then sell $700 calls. At this rate, you will NEVER get assigned 💀
[+19] u/Bichael-Murry: imagine having to wait until sunday for futes, completely unreasonable
[+19] u/OsamaBagHolding: HOW COULD HILLARYS EMAILS DO THIS TO US!
[+18] u/Sandvicheater: Telling a Mexican baddie with big tits that she has some nice horchata cannons is not the pick up line I thought it would be
[+18] u/G_I_Joe_Mansueto: We trading bombs with Iran and the President is talking about college sports.
[+18] u/cripky: I wish I never discovered options and escorts
[+18] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: There are 3 people here
1. Bulls in denial, keep buying tech calls that instantly plummet
2. Bears convinced World War 3 is here but still hesitant to buy puts
3. People watching the world burn doing nothing
[+17] u/WarmCan3034: I bought 1 share of VOO, pls don't crash, thank U
[+17] u/SaveTheAles: Maybe he found W's old journal in a desk in the white house and he thinks it's his future self telling him what to do. Any other hypothesis would just be too far fetched.
[+17] u/DahyunDabFan: Why don’t they just deliver the oil by plane? The plane can run on its own cargo.
[+17] u/ihopethisworksfornow: Blackrock is making it click in my head that all of these bullshit “AI Startups” that are just a wrapper for ChatGPT or Anthropic with a UI and some prompts already built in are getting loans from banks.
This loan wasn’t to an AI company, but clearly bad loans are being given out to startups.
Never thought about that aspect of it. Highly concerning.
[+17] u/KittyLover-7: This is all because we clowned the melania movie
[+16] u/the_sound_of_a_cork: These daily massive moves are not normal. The entire history of the market doesn't have any resemblance to this. What's different?
AI used in high frequency trading. It is causing severe directionality.
[+16] u/Appropriate_Sky_4509: Okay who shit my pants?
[+16] u/IlinistRainbow6: hope you got to exit your puts today, all green next week
[+16] u/CardiologistEqual336: Destroys a good economy for absolutely no reason 🤡
[+16] u/Standard-Top-5942: front page (4th article from top) of fox news right now is something about trans people in sports. this is on the week we went to war. it's inane at this point
[+15] u/Other_Sample_3709: They’re eating the STOCKS. They’re EATING the BONDS!
[+15] u/Visible_Frosting9535: The next weeks will be ugly. The war in Iran wont be over in a couple of days!!! Thanks America for electing that retard. Now we all get to suffer together.
[+15] u/patcakes: It all went to shit when we bombed that school. So, day 1.
[+15] u/IslandExact429: Weird times folks
Weird times
[+15] u/OsamaBagHolding: # Did we have fun this week or what!
[+14] u/Icy-Motor-8519: IF YOU LIKED THE JOBS REPORT TODAY, YOUR ABSOLUTELY GONNA LOVE PCE, CPI AND GDP NEXT WEEK! 🤠
[+14] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: # Y’all really think I will allow this market to crash. I bought puts for Monday LMAO
[+14] u/Intelligent_Sweet_57: I lost more money today than in 73’ , 80’, 08’ and 20’ combined
[+14] u/LasyKuuga: Regards who prayed for volatility realising they aren’t built like that 😂
Hi it’s me 😔
[+14] u/Accomplished_Cow9581: Who else shorting tf out of oil here soon
[+14] u/CEO-of-SOXL: Just gotta kill myself
[+14] u/CigInside: The WH just posted the most epic war mash up. I forgot they are all pedophile war criminals
[+14] u/ihopethisworksfornow: I think the U.S. is going with the time honored strategy of getting the Kurds to fight for us then pulling our troops out of the region, letting them be slaughtered, and acting shocked that it happened
They might have started to catch on to that pattern though it’s only happened like half a dozen times now
[+13] u/Gom_KBull: Bols entire plan for today was:
- declare bers ded
- beg for v
- watch calls die
- swear(cope) rally on Monday
[+13] u/EducationalCicada: Mangotollah's billionaire buddies are about to start getting real yippy.
[+13] u/curiousguy1993: Another day of cutting my winners and letting my losers run 🙃
[+13] u/Slow-Information-847: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!! We successfully used Iran to distract the public from Epstein file. Now we need to friendly take over Cuba to distract everyone from Iran!
[+13] u/HuntersMoon19: Months of gains wiped out in a day because I thought coin miners were on the rebound.
Like and subscribe for more stock tips.
[+13] u/definatelynotme321: This administration reminds me of the stick in the bike wheel meme. Constantly trying to be erratic.
[+13] u/retard_trader: Why do people think the US is above using nukes? Everything else we've done is beyond the pale already.
[+13] u/AvocadoPurees: 1 week in i still don't know why we're in Arrakis
[+13] u/zephyrs85: I run every day for 45 mins, if I miss a day then I add 45 mins to the next day. Tomorrow I will run for 2 and half weeks.
[+12] u/legible_print: At this point, I don’t just need a ceasefire.
I need a ceasefire and like them to discover a new thriving AI model/RAM warehouse
[+12] u/pmotiveforce: Lol. Bulls
Hey friend, listen I know the world is scary right now but...dramatic pause...it's gonna get way worse.
[+12] u/andytobbles: Everybody thinks the sky is falling when the VIX gets into the 30-40 level and then they realize it’s not when we fucking lift off to the stratosphere
[+12] u/michaelis999: you'd have to be on coke to buy options with vix this high
[+12] u/No-Improvement3164: This 79 year old SOB has fried my brain in one year.
[+12] u/plumpyplummy: Shoulda stuck with Venezuala, they're rich now
[+12] u/looool_k_libtard: "Sleepy’s pardons eliminated roughly $680,000 in financial penalties owed to victims or the government. In contrast, 🥭’s second-term pardons have forgiven criminal debts of more than $1.5 billion”
Lmao. Only a year in too. Fucking hell man.
[+12] u/AvocadoPurees: Ngl guys, I think I have a thing for Latinas
[+12] u/Cloudbase_academy: Who remembers all the highly regard patriots claiming the US could 'reopen the Strait within 24 hours' if Iran tried to close it? I do
[+12] u/Balarius: We flopped 2000 points this week and some of yall are still claiming a bull market.
There is a level of delusion that will be studied of this era in the future
[+12] u/BooBrew32: 🥭: War with Iran, that sounds like a good idea
🥭: McDonald's for every meal, that sounds like a good idea
[+12] u/bearhunter429: #I'll die soon anyways so none of this matters LMAO🤌
[+12] u/31andnotdone: there will never be another trade
this was your only chance.
its over for you now.
[+11] u/Neat_Database6685: When is the war going to be over, don’t like it one bit
[+11] u/mayorolivia: Trump directly responsible for 2 biggest selloffs in a year. Liberation Day and now this war.
[+11] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Ya’ll voted for this dude twice? I got SPY 700 calls to sell to you. I know what I got. No lowballers.
[+11] u/Pete26l96: I will never forget the day Trump posted "Now is the time to buy" on his truth social account 15 minutes before he changed his tariffs from 30% to 15%. Then later in an interview he said while smiling "My friend over here made two billion dollars today".
Just been holding shares since that day, this administration is too reckless for even leaps imo.
[+11] u/spac420: Mr. President, without tariffs how will you force the economy to tank in to recession?
I SHALL START AN ENDLESS WAR WITH IRAN AND DOUBLE THE PRICE OF OIL.
[+11] u/EducationalCicada: Trust the plan.
Admin would have to be absolutely fucking regarded to go into this war without realizing strait of Hormuz might be a problem.
[+11] u/booose6: I turn 30 today and made a dick ton of money on SPY puts. Going to delete a few beers and do it all again next week
[+11] u/rubsdikonxpensivshit: I need more money to add to my port this next week. I’m gonna suck off so many dudes this weekend
[+11] u/peterpeer9: I just disputed my doordash order. They forgot the smoked salmon on my bagel. Made back $33.50 in 1 minute. That's $17M ARR (annualized)
[+11] u/thrillho145: Bring back Biden's market
[+11] u/onefortheroad-: Smells like 2008 …..
[+11] u/Cav829: "This'll be just a 10% or so haircut at worst. No big deal unless there's some nasty bad credit stuff going on behind the scenes again."
\*Blue Owl, BlackRock, and Western Alliance have entered the chat.\*
[+11] u/Low_Plastic363: If you realize that our government currently operates like WWE, it all makes sense. We don't know why we're in Iran yet because they're still writing the storylines. The DOGE storyline worked for a while. The Canada one was good for a time, and got us a nice Four Nations tourney. The Greenland one has been alright. Nobody really bought into the Venezuela bit. The ICE in Minnesota one got a pretty good run.
You don't know what's going to happen because they don't know what's going to happen.
[+11] u/LarryStink: You dont own enough puts.
[+11] u/According-Page8618: oracle & openai realy needed to ruin the fking weekend
[+10] u/dingusmingus2222: LMAO I'm now deeply negative this year and owe the IRS for last year.
Anyone know how to fake your own death...?
[+10] u/PalpitationSmooth992: penny stocks and biotech are safe havens now
oh how the turns have tabled
[+10] u/NeedleworkerOne8258: EVERYONE FCKIN SAYIN BUY THE DIP BUT THIS DIP KEEPS DIPPING 😮💨
[+10] u/pacific_b: Oh they meant no new jobs
[+10] u/i_simp_f: #🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲 BIDEN 2028 🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲
[+10] u/Ok_Complaint_3589: #bols do u still want 100 year mortgage LMFAO 😆 😆 😆 😆
[+10] u/baller1able: It feels so great knowing that on November 5 2024 I wasn't sexist and voted for a person that caused economic uncertainty and market crashes 😌
[+10] u/OpeDefinitely: very bullish if somebody just does it
[+10] u/2muchnet42day: Normal people: weekend, yay!
Ayatollah:
[+10] u/Locke_____Lamora: Man gas prices are crazy I think I might become a door to door gasoline salesman.
[+10] u/DeezSpicyNuts: Billions of years of evolution, the generational lottery of a surviving bloodline, the towering odds against the singular sperm cell that fertilized the egg cell to create a unique zygote.
All of these things aligned against probability so that I could be a directionless sunfish of a man, forever drifting with the current as some dim, inconsequential thought attempts to traverse the circuits of my perpetually taxed gray matter.
[+10] u/Emilio___Molestevez: the haters all said $NBIS would dump from $100 again
and they were right. honestly great call by the haters
[+10] u/SouthNice7324: Rotating out of money and into poverty
[+10] u/NoPay2026: Natural gas is going to open 10%+ monday watch
[+10] u/jonneh: What a fucking joke 🤣🤣
#
> **Bessent**: We may unsanction other Russian oil
[+10] u/CoC_Axis_of_Evil: Oil is up 27% from when the tv talking heads said not to buy oil and everything was priced in.
[+10] u/KittyLover-7: Starting to look like 2022 chart eh
[+10] u/LarryStink: The world's most POWERFUL money manager just locked the doors. BlackRock's $26 billion private credit fund told investors You want 9.3% of your money back, we'll give you 5.
Take it or leave it. That's $1.2 billion in withdrawal requests, nearly half denied.
But this isn't just BlackRock. Blackstone's $82 billion credit fund just processed a RECORD 7.9% in redemptions. So many people wanted out that the firm and its own executives had to put up $400 million of their own cash to cover the gap.25 Blackstone executives pooled $150 million from their personal accounts.
Think about that.
And Blue Owl? They didn't just limit withdrawals, they permanently eliminated them. Investors in a $1.6 billion fund were told: you can never redeem again and we'll pay you back when we feel like it.
These firms took money from regular investors. Promised them quarterly access and then parked the cash in loans that can't be sold quickly. Now everyone wants out at the same time. And there's a deeper issue no one's talking about enough. AI is destroying the business models of the software companies these funds lent billions to.
UBS says up to 35% of private credit portfolios face elevated AI disruption risk. The borrowers can't pay, the lenders can't sell and the investors can't leave.
BlackRock stock dropped 7% today.
Blackstone hit a two-year low, the entire private credit sector is bleeding.
$1.8 trillion industry and the cracks everywhere.
This is what happens when Wall Street sells illiquid assets with a liquidity wrapper. The wrapper just ripped off.
[+10] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: I’m too retarded for this shit 😭
[+10] u/NunuTitobu: Trump roundtable on saving sports. Meanwhile economy is going into cardiac arrest
[+9] u/F1rstOnesFree: VIX calls were a no brainer. But then again, I don’t have a brain..
[+9] u/---Right--Tackle---: Private credit is cooked
[+9] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: What a depressing week
[+9] u/legible_print: Man who got chopped today?
[+9] u/Preachey: So monday depends on a binary choice over the weekend
"mission accomplished" or "we goin' in"
I don't see a middle ground
"Accomplished" is probably too big a word for 🥭 to manage, so I've bet on the latter
[+9] u/SoloOutdoor: You wait till people see the price of gas tomorrow
[+9] u/Liquidsnake959: Going to be a long long weekend.......... :(
[+9] u/iiGoodVibesii: I totally FOMO and bought USO..... this will be a "fun weekend" 🤡
[+9] u/WhoLickedMyDumpling: 🥭 announces a strategic bombing to make straight of hormuz into the curves or hormuz.
[+9] u/Hwangoutpltr: Selling out of all positions most days
I sleep great 👍
[+9] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: so yeah. been unemployed for 7 months. cashed out some of my 401K a couple weeks ago and put $30K into green feather app. don't ever do this btw. I made $27K this week. I feel nothing. except maybe frustration that the casino is closed for the weekend. i stare at charts all day when I could be spending my time doing literally anything else. anyway see the rest of you worthless fuckstains next week when I will probably finish ruining my life the way I tried to this week
[+9] u/Late-Tadpole-2318: Rumor says 82nd airborne is on the move
[+9] u/starentbrett: had my biggest week ever. why don’t I feel happy about it? I blame you shit stains
[+9] u/Acceptable_Bed_6033: Had to bury my grandmother today and my port is red :(
[+9] u/Gom_KBull: # "stocks always go up"
he said, as he removed my dick from his anus. He honked his nose, stepped into his tiny car and drove off into the sunset.
[+9] u/Locke_____Lamora: Some of you bulls are pretty cool. Don't come to the market Monday.
[+9] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: How did Italians invent so much good food 🤌
[+9] u/chargedcapacitor: Congrats everyone, I used up my last bit of cash buying the dips. You're welcome when it dips exponentially more Monday.
[+9] u/tombrady011235: I’m going to short USO
[+9] u/Rosebunse: If Blackrock is limiting withdrawals, what does that mean for me? A regular poor person?
[+9] u/ten7four: Fuck yes... only down -30% on my HIMS now... stupid bers r fuk 🤣🤣🫵🤡
[+9] u/cryptohorn: Oil data centers in space
[+9] u/tinydisaster: Imagine being 18-25, voting for mango, then it turns out the draft is activated and ICE kidnaps you after work, trains you at an abandoned Amazon warehouse and puts a gun in your hand to go die in a desert. And we can’t stop him because the republicans wouldn’t vote in a war powers act.
[+9] u/31andnotdone: I'd like a participation trophy
[+9] u/astromouse2024: I mean spy closed above 670 🤷♂️
Really grasping for straws rn actually
[+9] u/Bansionboy: 40 minutes until I'm banned for a week..... war started a week ago and spy only down 2%, not bad
[+9] u/Euphoric-Guess-1277: How can I buy calls on Antisemitism
[+9] u/Tay_Tay86: ***Oh, my God! We’re having a fire … sale! Oh, the burning, it burns me! Evacuate all of the school children! This isn’t a fever! Ama … I can’t even see where the knob is … zing grace!***
[+9] u/Illnevertell369: SOME STUPID SHIT WILL HAPPEN AFTER 6 PM HERE WE GOOO
[+9] u/ArisZG: Guys I think we started a world War.
[+9] u/NebulaBorn6389: Swinging spy calls till Monday pray for me
[+9] u/Fox_n_Roll: There will be no talks, just total surrender
Deal of a sith
[+9] u/Savings_Refuse_5922: Well Dumpty just posted they had a meeting with pretty much every big defense contractor to ramp up orders and build factories check his truth social so I think we're going way past 4 days here on this special operation.
[+8] u/mayorolivia: Market gonna tank 50% and Berkshire Hathaway still gonna sit on $350B cash
[+8] u/Mr-Bonnet: ONLY LOST 3K TODAY
LUCKY ME
[+8] u/Feedback_Entire: I might be going full retard soon...
[+8] u/Disastrous_Call_1361: Netflix calls and chill
[+8] u/GoZukkYourself: I haven't seen bers this happy since Heated Rivalry got renewed for a second season.
[+8] u/NewDawn101: Everyday with these 🥭 dick sucking conferences with his asslickers
[+8] u/astromouse2024: Literally everyone on Reddit, instagram, facebook, are freaking the fuck out about the market saying how THIS TIME the market is going to collapse
So I loaded up on nvda calls for the 20th
[+8] u/WarmCan3034: we make fun of mango, but he got elected TWICE lmaoooo, fucking hell we r such a joke
[+8] u/Trashpanda7193: Literally can’t tell where the floors going to be. Everytime it hits the bottom that idiot opens his mouth it gaps down
[+8] u/whydouhatemecablegod: i was making bank as a ber and then decided to go bol and lost all my gains.. fuck you bol
[+8] u/abroadbroadband: I've had quite a few losses this week, tremendous losses.
# 👐 Bigly red.
# YUGELY NEGATIVE.
[+8] u/lipmanz: Woah gas just hit up a dollar from 2 weeks ago in my town!
[+8] u/Aggressive_Bit_91: The moment ships start passing again oil will be down 20%
[+8] u/ICE-FlGHT: IM SO FUCKING TIRED
CAN GOOGLE EVER HAVE A GREEN DAY IN MY LIFETIME?
[+8] u/i_simp_f: I will turn myself gay to dodge the draft
[+8] u/WallofNarwhal: I mean, this whole thing was successful. Y’all already stopped talking about Epstein
[+8] u/MakeResonableChoices: Gonna mow the lawn and stew about my dumb moves but then enjoy the weekend.
[+8] u/InIce1234: I = Incoming
R = Rally
A = All-Time Highs
N = Next!
EASY
[+8] u/Hwangoutpltr: VIX death + shrek cock Monday
[+8] u/Usedillusion7: The fact so many people are watching the ah market thinking anything that happens in it will have even the slightest correlation to where the market opens Monday is hilarious and makes me giggle.
[+8] u/Upset-Motor-2602: # 'Trump can fix very little': JPMorgan's former quant chief says the TACO trade won't save the market from the Iran war
[+8] u/LeakMyBigBowls: I'm broke, ugly and old 🫠
[+8] u/natalie_merchant_fan: This could get so much worse.
Or it could end in 10 days.
[+8] u/InterestingDuty825: I was doom scrolling through some nations subreddit. Holy fuck one of them is so sick, I never want to ever go there. They are worse than r/conservative. These rich fucks have no empathy and all they want is death and suffering of their neighbors. Guess which one?
[+8] u/NoPay2026: Do farts help my natural gas calls?
[+8] u/Paul_Robert_: Imagine buying a Rolex instead of pissing away the same amount of money on short dated options 💀
[+8] u/wildcat1055: It'll be alright.
I mean, i got some problems, but nothing that can't be fixed with a few beers, some chicken wings, and a $200k "loan" from my father in law.
[+8] u/SaveTheAles: Got my tax return back in Iranian Rial. We cooked.
[+8] u/NeedleworkerOne8258: JUST FOR YOUR INFORMATION ! HIMS 21 dollars calls are at 0.03 per contract ! NOW JUST IMAGINE YOU PUT only 100 dollars for fun in that shit ! 😵💫 the gains are going to be diabolical
[+8] u/SwiftSG1: 🌮 really became a warmonger after not getting peace prize
[+8] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: Rotating out of Shitvda into stocks that can move more than $5 without tanking a small countries economy/requiring the GDP of a country move it.
[+8] u/KittyLover-7: American missiles hitting their own citizens ports
[+8] u/Appropriate_Ice_7507: Help! Who can unfuck my asshole by the market??? I mean I was doing ok until every fucking thing dropped. The next thing I know, I was on the ground with all four and ass up. I looked back and the MM’s shiny big dildo is about to fuck me with zero lube. I couldn’t move and I couldn’t fight off the MM. MM’s got a strong hold on me and fuck the shit out of me til my ass cream leaked out. That’s what my portfolio looks like EOD.
[+8] u/cryptohorn: It's a war it's not a war it's a war it's not a war
[+8] u/99Fan: Funny how every year we crash in March/April and than moon all summer after. Don’t miss the dip
[+8] u/pmotiveforce: Amerifat jowls will be jiggling as they shake their heads in anger at the price to fill up their $90k giant truck that gets 14MPG they use to drive to their jobs and pick up groceries.
[+8] u/sha1dy: # WHO BOMBED MY CALLS? I SURRENDER
[+8] u/_pout_: What in fuck's sake happened to NVIDIA? I'm on vacation.
[+8] u/KittyLover-7: Mods gonna get your ass lmao
[+8] u/IncomingAxofKindness: That's like a month of news with this gov
[+8] u/31andnotdone: novo and hims partnership. novo will sell drugs on hims platform.
[+7] u/SoloOutdoor: Retard media "economy feels very good"
[+7] u/dljmonkeyboiz: Some retard bought $200 of SPY 700 calls from me this morning … thanks dawg
[+7] u/PickleRickleTV: I’m starting to suspect that 🥭 doesn’t know anything about economics. Or anything about anything really.
[+7] u/Val44x: I’LL SEE ALL BERS AT DORSIA
TONIGHT 830 DRESS FANCY
FRIDAY RESERVATION SECURED 🤝
[+7] u/Ble_h: If we had sleepy joe, I’m 100% sure we’ll be at 800.
[+7] u/EnginrA: Bols gonna “unconditional surrender” their assholes soon
[+7] u/GoZukkYourself: VRT, LITE, and COHR added to the S&P 500
https://preview.redd.it/wszlagzb2ing1.jpeg?width=900&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ca466125a7655b3a1c1c04115603f5fb6ea57bac
[+7] u/SaveTheAles: Good thing the housing market is strong otherwise I would have thought we were repeating history
[+7] u/LarryStink: “Due to the temporary global oil situation, we may also unsanction other Russian oil.”
Secretary of Treasury Scott Bessent
Now Russia gets to do some damage if they so choose. It’s only the beginning.
[+7] u/abroadbroadband: Kids these days wanna grow up to be streamers
That's exactly what the world needs more of
Oh, and influencers
[+7] u/Own-Kaleidoscope-731: nvda calls overnight, hope monday is green
[+7] u/colinr813: It’s kind of crazy spy went from 480 to 690 in 6 months
[+7] u/East-Resolution4446: As a Millenial…WW3, gas at $150/barrel, and rising unemployment rates is just another week. So buying shares instead of options.
[+7] u/browsk: Good thing trump is discussing the important things live right now. The issues of college football.
[+7] u/soad1331: Just gimme a ten bagger and I promise I'll be done forever.
[+7] u/sytena10: Breaking: Donald says defense CEOs agree to quadruple production of ‘Exquisite Class’ weaponry.
....so we're going to waste billions on gay effeminate weapons?
[+7] u/onefortheroad-: Blackrock about to bring second 2008
100k in puts
[+7] u/Bichael-Murry: reality is that he put himself in a fucked up situation and the reality is that there is no way out unless he levels iran completely...
yeah not happening, financially speaking
[+7] u/Metacog_Drivel: >Mango on gas prices: “If they rise, they rise.”
Doesn't even have the energy to lie about it. His heart isn't in it. SAD.
[+7] u/Mammoth-Length-9163: Blackrock owns more than 2500 different funds.
They have upwards of $14trillion in AUM.
One fund reaching its 5% redemption limit isn’t Armageddon.
Although investor sentiment about private credit shouldn’t be ignored entirely.
[+7] u/PushAble2463: The timing of these dreadful events is just insanely bad for the economy and for me personally. Wth were the USA thinking.. 😩
[+7] u/nesnayu: Bad week to discover futures trading
[+7] u/Throwawayz911: Reddit is just a hivemind of doomers that has never accurately predicted anything
[+7] u/PinealTone: If Blackstone goes belly up in 2026.. I won't be weeping much tears for them..
[+7] u/Independent-Tree-985: > Robinhood’s venture fund, which gives investors access to private companies, tanks 11% on first day
Its only poetic that the dumb money that believes most in RH get stuffed again and again and again
[+7] u/Thebaxxxx: Who went broke today raise your hand
[+7] u/FxSpecter: What a day. Got facefucked by the market today and now I need to go to the back of my nearest Wendy’s to get facefucked again to be able to afford this month’s rent.
[+7] u/aimyer: I’m going to submit my application to Wendy’s
[+7] u/jda823: https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/trump-privately-shown-serious-interest-us-ground-troops-iran-rcna262176
[+7] u/_LakeCity_: I think I’m going to do some ecstasy tonight and then turn the chart upside down.
[+7] u/ihopethisworksfornow: I’m realizing that at one point mango is just going to declare that the strait of Hormuz is safe and that will cause at least a temporary massive Shrek dildo
When though
[+7] u/Coinifyquestion: Wait so is u/cashflow_ really a pedophile? He always kind of skeved me out with those updates I guess
[+7] u/ResidentPack4103: Very bearish in here....wonder what that means
[+7] u/gummi_eater: Pls let this be my one lucky option play, Bought a few HIMS calls 3/13 calls on Wednesday.
[+7] u/Boheed: buying the Meta Glasses to become a registered specs offender
[+7] u/Sea_Trip_8941: 1 week ago 🥭 bragged at state of union how everything was great and how stock market was at record highs. And then 2 days later declared war
[+7] u/ByahhByahh: You put de lime in de coconut then you do a lil regime change
[+7] u/AmbitiousFigure1323: Trump bombing Cuba this weekend lmao
[+7] u/skarfbeaulonee: Imagine thinking that "going on a murder spree" means something other than associating with crows
[+7] u/iShitBloodandCumShit: That last split NVDA did fucked the stock up. Hard.
Can’t buy back enough shares while issuing them to employees to make a difference.
[+7] u/Quiet_Bath9565: I think we are in for a world of hurt, because with the second private equity fund suspending withdrawals. These companies are not transparent. They don't have to "mark-to-market" daily and can hide losses. Nobody knows how leveraged these companies are. I believe we are the verge of another financial crisis, Blackrock and Blue Owl are canaries in the coal mine.
[+7] u/mtnrnnr802: I was falsely promised SPY 700
[+7] u/mtnrnnr802: Need to schedule an emergency session with my therapist now
[+7] u/disgusting-puppy: Biden market officially over
[+7] u/DrSeuss1020: That end of day dump was like getting spit on after getting kicked in nuts that was this week
[+7] u/Ok-Analysis4121: The private credit bubble is about to pop and we are not ready for those consequences.
[+7] u/OptionsHuduga: did they announce which penny stocks will be in the S&P yet?
[+7] u/blackcmonBruh123: NO CRYING IN THE CASINO
[+7] u/_Netgirth: Diabolical how first half of 2025 conditioned us to ignore all facts, logic and instinct
[+7] u/ThinkingOfTheOldDays: land wars in mountainous Asia Minor are good and easy to win.
[+7] u/silverfutes: I like the massage workers who enjoy their job, if u don’t like working there, go jerk somebody else off for money.
[+7] u/FullCopy: Wendy’s is no longer hiring. The soup line is this way.
[+7] u/KittyLover-7: Seeing a lot of he won’t get to midterms without pumping this shit and inflation being high but he sure as shit ain’t acting like it atm
[+7] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: Jpow it’s not too late, u can save us
[+7] u/jmc774: Port is down 20% while holding 30% in cash. Hold me
[+7] u/pooterssssssssss: Today wasn't too bad but overall sucked ...
[+7] u/EvolvingDior: Trumping the economy.
[+7] u/IlinistRainbow6: calls. it’s always calls
[+7] u/Fineous40: You voted for deez nuts
[+7] u/cannythecat: CAD is an oil dollar
[+6] u/R3dFiveStandingBye: My portfolio may be cooked but some of you guys are mad funny.
[+6] u/Coffeewin: FaceID has failed to recognize my face due to the crying
[+6] u/blalah: WSB comment sentiment indicator just edged into Pretty Bearish today.
All you need to know if you like money.
[+6] u/Historical_Bother274: IF ONLY WE COULD PERMA PUMP, NO LETS JUST INCREASE THE PRICE OF OIL BY 50% FOR FUN
[+6] u/PushAble2463: There is no way out of this shit now. We’re all gonna be forever held hostage by a uterus shaped piece of desert rock filled with saltwater..
Even my port filled up with oil related companies is bleeding badly, price isn’t even bullish for them anymore as the implications of the price on the general economy overshadows the short term increase in earnings.
I have cash, but damn, at what point do I buy here - looking real grim. I see no end to this, just short lasting relief whenever there’s a lie about «progress» or «talks going great»
[+6] u/AreMoron: Those brave souls holding over the weekend, good luck
[+6] u/Kabrosif: Doing the wife and I’s taxes tomorrow. We both lost our jobs early last year and had to cash in her 401k to survive, we withheld federal taxes but not state, I also had 10k of debt cancellation. IRS and state gonna rape my booty hole tomorrow. Pray for me wsb!
[+6] u/Academic_Lock_1699: Even the gamecock days were better than this 🥭 mess of a market
[+6] u/miromar65: Each time that I come here, I am abused.
[+6] u/IlinistRainbow6: If you think MMs are gonna pay shorts on monday, you truly belong here
[+6] u/andyman268: Some of you have never lived through a Great Depression and it shows
[+6] u/Big_Cryptographer863: Mango gave plenty of notice. Not sure why y'all held.
[+6] u/HonestScar7176: Oh yeah we are def fucked. I was gonna maybe buy some calls here for Monday but fuck that. Shit looks like it’s ready to crash any day
[+6] u/mtnrnnr802: This is not good guys
[+6] u/Most-Crazy2353: Bols are so fucked unless 🥭 does an interview Sunday night wearing a sombrero
[+6] u/hioman01: Bloomberg is worse than wars
[+6] u/MakeResonableChoices: Had many chances to get out of calls for a good profit but got greedy and ate shit.
Greed never changes
[+6] u/NlNJANEER: Yall keep talking about Iran opening the strait back up. But why the fly fuck would they when they can just keep fighting and die martyrs. Like literally guaranteed heaven for an extremely religious military and government.
[+6] u/Actual_Difference617: I need to buy weed and get stoned af all weekend. Otherwise the losses are unbearable.
[+6] u/mangofruitdude: U guys ready for weekend Iran escalation? Got a tingle in my balls
[+6] u/spluff94: green by monday if only the orange tard could shut the fuck up
[+6] u/Impossible-Fun2027: Why do I think Monday is Gap up and Green?
[+6] u/FullCuntalLobotomy: Stonks do be getting pounded with epic fury
[+6] u/onefortheroad-: Anyone that now knows Blackrock is fucked should be buying puts
2008 again Monday
Bloody Monday as is tradition
[+6] u/SteakGoblin: Lmao I thought I was hot shit until today. A lot of effort and amazingly lucky gains for the week wiped out in a single morning. I look forward to getting dicked down by the market again next week.
[+6] u/Charming_Raccoon4361: i thought wars are bullish
[+6] u/SpiritedVoice6248: I’m holding my puts thru the weekend
[+6] u/sleepyguy007: so.... last week i was down 300k on a leveraged UNH bet, then friday was up 550k due to PSKY. and uh this week lost 250k due to another trade...... so overall down like $5k overall and i've had about 4 heart attacks. I basically have a flat port since january ended. I guess I should be happy. this week taught me you really cant trade when our president is randomly throwing together a war and makes everything unpredictable. i broadly agree with some of his policies, but trading with a comatose zombie was way easier
[+6] u/East-Resolution4446: War escalates tonight at 8:01pm EST
[+6] u/rottenfence: You know it’s bad when even Alex Jones has turned on 🥭
[+6] u/OrangMiskin: Who’s still sucking 🥭’s cock
[+6] u/CasherburyTales: When Britney drunk driving flees from the police she gets headlines but my buddy got 2-4 years in the state pen.
[+6] u/Urzuck: The real bubble is in the private credit system, i keep repeating that, and it seems like shit will finally hit the fan.
[+6] u/NewDawn101: War ain’t ending people because Israel is gonna kept it going for weeks
[+6] u/Flat-Focus7966: At least my 401k is buying stuff at cheaper prices....
[+6] u/ihopethisworksfornow: >SPY: down 2.69% on the month
>**PHYSICAL CORN**: Up 7.8% on the month
BUY PHYSICAL CORN
[+6] u/WhoreIn_Buffet: Got allocated my full 50 share request for Robin Hoods new fund. Then it proceeded to dump. Someday I'll learn my lesson about IPOs
[+6] u/MrT_IDontFeelSoGood: We’re about to see how bad things can get, Iran sent drones to one of the Saudi’s major oil fields. All they need to do to tank markets is get serious about hitting those fields
[+6] u/Temporary-Alarm-744: Guys gpiddy says tomahawk and patriots missiles on average have 20oz of silver. Calls on airlines that cater to meth heads
[+6] u/Sweeetmoves: Holding oil futes and riding an ebike to hedge the increased cost of everything
[+6] u/BagHoldersOfAmerica: I should not have sold puts today
[+6] u/ihopethisworksfornow: >RFK pledges to livestream swim across Strait of Hormuz “to show the tankers it’s safe”
- *Reuters*
[+6] u/Comfortable-Sky7801: The orange guys clique is probably all in on oil, once he takes profit he’ll tweet that theyre totally making a deal with Iran and rug everyone
[+6] u/_kermit: HIMS GANG HOW THE FUCK WE FEELING
[+6] u/bearhunter429: #He's gonna nuke Iran to finish the war over the weekend like he did last time LMAO🤌
[+6] u/LasyKuuga: Less then a month ago Novo was suing HIMS and now they’re partnering up. Anything is possible in life 😊
Except me being happy 😔
[+6] u/soad1331: When the world is burning and all that's left is to fap all day.
$HIMS
[+6] u/Wowmuchrya: Actual short squeeze in 2026 lmao.
40% short float this thing is gona run
[+6] u/---Right--Tackle---: I smell like absolute shit
[+6] u/potato111a: NVDA pls fly again 🥀
[+6] u/lysergalien: Bone Spurs-N-Disharmony assblasting my port yet again
[+6] u/Crazy_Donkies: Going cash gang if this slides 2% more.
[+6] u/IslandExact429: Think we’re just finishing the appetizer of the appetizer
Basically, bread basket from Cheesecake Factory is finished
Now waiting for the Apps
Then main course
Then dessert.
Then, buy the dip
[+6] u/HomingSunlight: If next week goes down too I'm fucked.
[+6] u/WallofNarwhal: Rare W today for cash gang 💪
[+6] u/mneymaker: So ORCL and Mr Elison go around and vouch for the WB Paramount deal but financing the AI evolution becomes a tricky situation?
How much of a bullshit can we take.
Can we have massive earnings beat + guidance so they revive our AI and data centre market, next week?
[+6] u/NlNJANEER: Keep in mind, we’re still in the same range that we were in when there wasn’t any war and job/inflation numbers beat expectations
[+6] u/kananishino: Luckily I de-risked and deleveraged a bunch of positions
[+6] u/WallStreetBetsCALLSS: To all the Mu bers in the chat:
My MU margin call price is at 220.
500 hitting first.
Yawn.🥱
[+6] u/guy_cloutier: Very patriotic on my behalf to become exit liquidity for great US institutions like hedge funds. Support Wall Street = Support America in these difficult moments. Pray for Blackrock 🙏
🦅🇺🇸
[+6] u/peanuts-in-my-jelly: lmao *SLACKROCK* running out of monies
[+6] u/puffinnbluffin: Absolutely butt fucked
[+6] u/SuspiciousSpyderman: Oil prices are up? Sorry, I couldn't tell. *laughs in EV*
[+6] u/NewDawn101: US lifting sanctions on Russian oil, turns out that Vladimir guy isn’t so bad
[+6] u/GoZukkYourself: VRT has joined the S&P 500
[+6] u/092Casey: Reminder: If you invested in SPY or most indexes on October 6th, which is 5 months ago, you'd be at 0% right now. But taco likes to brag about 401k's.
Maybe Bessent and Nutlick will manipulate it back up on Monday like they've been ever since every time it lands here.
[+6] u/eoiioe: Jensen calling the top or bondi calling the top
[+6] u/LordCorgi: Friendship ended with SPY, WAR is best friend now.
[+6] u/toost1cky: Dennis and Mac were onto something stocking up on gas
[+6] u/diefy7321: Private equity is so fukt. With energy costs now going up, those unprofitable ai data centers are cooked, and so are institutions’ money LMAO
[+6] u/TheGeoGod: Google better 🚀 next week
[+6] u/Top-Meaning2626: You haven't seen $8 a gallon yet
[+6] u/Unemployable1593: only if you have the patience and enough reserve capital to survive if it moves massively against you
[+6] u/Creative-Package6213: Believe it or not, gap down at open.
[+5] u/Valkorion335786: Holding 674c over the weeend
You ber fucks will get blown out over the weekend
[+5] u/---Right--Tackle---: #Never open the casino again
[+5] u/NaluknengBalong_0918: Just when I thought we ghey bears were toast… you pulled me back in! 🤣🤣🤣
Excellent dancing ghey bears! 💃💃💃💃🤣
[+5] u/dljmonkeyboiz: SPY gonna dead cat bounce to 680 on Monday, burn off all you guys that bought puts down here.
[+5] u/MagneticRetard: can we stop the war so market can go back up again
im not even american man
[+5] u/Zealousideal_Wall627: I think long dated vix puts are guaranteed to print tbh
[+5] u/solidsneeze: Rubio needs to step aside and put Pitbull in charge of Cuba
[+5] u/PooPooPointBoiz: RIP my ass dudes. I bought into AMZN on the dip, and it kept dipping, now I'm 1500 in the red going into the weekend.
All in too, no more money to average down with.
What a great way to fuck my mood over the weekend.
[+5] u/Basis_404_: So is Blackrock pausing private credit withdrawals this generation’s AIG or this generation’s Bear Sterns?
[+5] u/rottenfence: I’m gonna play some Wii Sports. That will remind me of simpler times.
[+5] u/ihopethisworksfornow: Here’s a whole other black swan for you all to jerk off over/worry about depending on if you’re a bull or a bear:
> to avoid the regulatory burden brought by the rise in leverage, banks are increasingly providing first-lien financing for private transactions and sourcing the second lien, or riskier and wider-spread yielding part of the debt to a private credit manager.
>This type of financing can be structured as a synthetic risk transfer, which enables a bank to compete in the direct lending space while unloading the riskiest part of the notes (transferring the risk) to private credit funds and other investors.12
>One caveat in these arrangements is that banks are lending to the same NBFIs including private credit vehicles that are providing the credit insurance, meaning that in aggregate, some of the risk is actually not leaving the banking system as it appears, exposing banks to new vulnerabilities.13
https://www.federalreserve.gov/econres/notes/feds-notes/bank-lending-to-private-credit-size-characteristics-and-financial-stability-implications-20250523.html
[+5] u/TreGet234: What's the next stupid thing that will happen after oil spiked 30% in like 1 month? It needs to be a genuine possibility but deeply improbable and absurd. Something conspiracy preppers have been warning about for years that will finally come true.
[+5] u/barkwoofgrrr: 🚨 Attention all bears 🚨 please go to the drudge report and jack off to the pessimistic headlines
[+5] u/CalRippedken: Weekend starts. Pants off.
[+5] u/puffinnbluffin: Port hit ath Wednesday, got ass raped since then 😃
[+5] u/Metacog_Drivel: VIX hit 29.93. If it broke 30 we'd all be dead. That was a close one!
[+5] u/AdministrativeYard: Open the god damn casino 24 hours per day like a normal casino so I can make my fucking money back
[+5] u/LouieM13: Prediction
Monday: flat-greenish. Everyone has puts right now.
Tuesday: Bulls execution
Wednesday: CPI: I really don’t know. I didn’t expect bad numbers today. I think flat but really volatile.
Thursday: Bulls extinction
Friday: flat
[+5] u/ahopye: Can hear this shit creaking from a mile away. A strong gust of wind at this point and next thing you know it's SPY 500
[+5] u/Yousoldmetohigh: Dead cat bounce Monday.
[+5] u/ProudPeak3570: gonna order some pizza tonight and watch the dinosaurs documentary on netflix
[+5] u/Nemesis_171: Memory stocks are gonna be free asl when this all ends, in the meantime oil until the strait opens.
[+5] u/Hot-Ambassador8740: If you don’t think we’re going down to 650, I have some bad news for you
[+5] u/diddidntreddit: I know one of you regards knows the future of the market
I insist you share it with me
[+5] u/cryptohorn: Costco is my only hope for cheap gas.
[+5] u/jda823: Sunday futures some how gonna be green as fuck
[+5] u/Icommandyou: I haven’t done my taxes yet and I am low key scared to do them
[+5] u/Majestic-Bass6772: just filled up the tank and the receipt's subtotal was 5 digits...
[+5] u/tandoori_taco_cat: did everyone have fun?
[+5] u/Actual_Difference617: One time I buy calls overnight and they didn’t cook the job numbers.
[+5] u/spac420: tslr at 350 p/e is great buy right now
[+5] u/solidsneeze: why not just put Chinese flags on all oil tankers? easy peasy
[+5] u/Waiting4Reccession: Robinhood venture ipo today and never even went green, straight to a 15% loss hahaha
[+5] u/Fineous40: This one time, at stock camp, I stuck a GLD call in my 🅱️Ussy
[+5] u/2020isgreat: you had two days this week where the iran situation already played out and the market was flat oil was rising and you plugged your ears and said "it's priced in""
[+5] u/billyd1984texas: My June calls are fukt
[+5] u/II2-Woolly: My QQQ puts are gonna print over the weekend
[+5] u/DISAPPOINTING_FAIRY: I need to stop fucking staring at AH its the weekend and none of this matters
[+5] u/dangerusZone: As a European I gotta say American commercials are hilarious. One minute it’s a drug ad telling me it might cause every side effect known to mankind with a cheerful little jingle at the end, the next one is Kristi Noem’s…
[+5] u/Right-Departure-8881: Odds of a taco this weekend seem high. Not sure what is even left to hit with bombs anymore. He can claim victory blame the people if it’s not perfect
[+5] u/financiallythriving: WSB has been so dead
[+5] u/LouieM13: Absolutely no way the MMs will allow Monday puts to profit
[+5] u/yeahyoubored: Gas prices are literally up 1.50$ from pre-War
🥭 did that
[+5] u/retard_trader: I'm like breakeven for the week. That's gotta be a huge improvement right?
[+5] u/grantern2: I really should stay sober tonight, but I’m tired,
mentally drained, and that hydrocodone pill in the drawer sounds really good right about now
[+5] u/Embarrassed-Sky6890: Bought the dip anyone else?
[+5] u/cryptohorn: Sugar Prices Jump as Crude Oil Surges
Oh hell nah
[+5] u/BarbellPadawan: Everyone has become a precious metals, energy, and Middle East geopolitics expert in the last week, and it shows.
[+5] u/WallofNarwhal: Pardon my language, but gosh darn this market!
[+5] u/frakenspine: The market pretending everyone was cool monday & tuesday made this a lot more worse
[+5] u/SopaFria42: I'm just gonna keep buying calls so the economy tanks for 🥭 man. Thank me later.
[+5] u/Fuck_boy3456: Fking Sand Monkeys man
[+5] u/NebulaBorn6389: I closed a spy put at 3:20 -1200$. If I would have held till 3:35 it would have been up 2800$. I hate my life I’m an idiot
[+5] u/Rare-ish_Birb: This week in US, old moneys left their abnb and went on vaca in Europe. Next week, new 401k moneys will arrive and lodge in the old money's abnb, so when the old moneys return to the US, they will have to pay up for pricier hotel rooms.
Old moneys should have just hunkered down in their abnb.
[+5] u/SaveTheAles: Glad we waited til the weekend to start all this to protect the stock market. Otherwise it would have bled into Monday and we would have been red.
[+5] u/cannythecat: Anybody retire from selling SPY 700 calls.
[+5] u/PhotoSpheres: One weird thing that I’ve noticed is that ever since after Covid, no one really uses gifs when they text anymore.
[+5] u/Locke_____Lamora: Better 'two day special operation' US or Russia?
[+5] u/techyguru8: Novo and hims end fued, will sell obesity drugs together? Just saw the article
[+5] u/cannythecat: Polymarket says 57 percent chance of green day on Monday. Is bol too optimistic?
[+5] u/SeniorVibeAnalyst: Next week is annual bonus week
[+5] u/Standard_Tea8250: holy shit we are fucked
[+5] u/svpa3991: I was tempted to get in HIMS sometime this week too dam lol
[+5] u/No-Improvement3164: So TTD was drilled to death and pops 25% out of nowhere and now HIMS. 😂😂
[+5] u/tesseramous: Saylor is the billionaire version of a wsb degen who yolos the falling knife all the way down on maximum leverage
[+5] u/DrummerCompetitive20: You are not safe anywhere....everythign is collapsing
[+5] u/Garbage-Disposal-938: "... even if the war ended immediately it would take Qatar 'weeks to months' to return to a normal cycle of deliveries"
[+5] u/politicalinvestor: Hims 39 % short intrest Monday will be fun
[+5] u/Ok-Flatworm-3397: My local costco is out of gas
[+5] u/Valkorion335786: Two whole days of markets being closed
Means the Orange Don can do some heavy green candle work
The administration thanks Bers for their donations
[+5] u/Montyprice7206: #Anxiety through the roof 🤌🤯
[+5] u/johannschmidt: Price controls on gasoline by Wednesday.
[+5] u/bearhunter429: #Life fucking sucks. LMAO🤌
[+5] u/NlNJANEER: I need a Turkish bath to wash the filth of this market off me
[+5] u/FindingZen4: Thank god that's over
[+5] u/Tay_Tay86: THE CASINO IS CLOSED. GET YOUR SHIT AND GET OUT OF THE CASINO YOU FUCKING DEGENERATE RETARDS.
See you on Monday
[+5] u/TowelOld743: What war will we get into this weekend
[+5] u/Bubbly-Form-7059: I didn’t realize they tax your bonus like 40%? Holy shit fuck that
[+5] u/Sharp_Mistake_3119: Knowing this clown world, you're going to use sound logic and load up puts, even leaps......war, chaos, tragedy, AI bubble, makes sense you think. "My gut is right, the fundamentals are there" you say. You sleep good. The next day you warm up your days old coffee and sit in front of the news "TOMP declares world peace and halts all wars. Pledges 3 trillion to AI funding. Prudin signs peace treaty with Ukraine and Europe hosts joint AI summit"....."TSLA says AGI has already been achieved" "Altman predicts 14 trillion revenue in 2026"
You cry.......but you're not a quitter.......so you load up on calls......
[+5] u/Ok-Run-8643: Stocks prices are going down ! everything else is going up! I wonder how the people who vote for this 🥭🤡 is feeling right now.
[+5] u/patrick8515: All cash, oil . Collecting Interest dividends .
[+5] u/KittyLover-7: Some conflicting info going around regarding the oai and Orcl thing
[+5] u/andytobbles: When the VIX is 30 it’s generally not the time to be all in on puts btw..
[+5] u/FuckleUp: Great in addition to listening to boomers about their health maladies now add gas ⛽️ prices.
[+5] u/Majestic-Bass6772: holy shit benjamin lost it all
GREAT DEPRESSION INDICATOR
[+5] u/GuyFieriFrostedTips: How do you misquote something so badly as to arrive at 180 degrees the opposite meaning. Holy shit. We have become a parody of ourselves. Noem. You will be missed.
[+5] u/Substantial-Tip-2871: 14,000 flights cancelled because of the war.. have you said ‘thank you’ yet?
[+5] u/Basis_404_: I was told this week was going to be a big nothing burger and it would be SPY 700 by now.
[+5] u/2020isgreat: youtube guy benjamin blew up his life savings damn
[+5] u/Illustrious_Lion7671: So rsi for vix is over 70, that means monday there's gonna be at least a dead cat bounce, right? I miss the copium emoji honestly
[+5] u/DriftWoodBarrel: I had my best week all on SPY calls and puts. I made 40%. I feel like I could have done better even.
[+5] u/jjervv: Hard to be in Asia. What just happened?
[+5] u/Ok_Worldliness_2902: Oil and gas futures have been very kind to me this week lmao
[+5] u/Elestra_: Friendly reminder to the new guys - if you can afford to increase 401k contributions during downturns, do it.
[+5] u/Bichael-Murry: imagine all the ass particles floating around after taking a gigantic dump
this is the state of this thread tbh
[+5] u/Locke_____Lamora: Honestly fuck the weekends lately with how crazy this market has been its keeping me entertained.
[+5] u/cryptohorn: I'm a buyer of the robinhood ipo at less than $10
[+5] u/DefiantDelta: USO holders are puss puss. step up to UCO
[+5] u/rawdawgred1111: Who’s holding USO over the weekend??? Bad idea???
[+5] u/CriticalBlackberry90: The DoW and OpenAI are tussling over who can dump the market harder. We were on the uptrend today until the latter said hold the fuck on.
[+5] u/gnanwahs: I'm yearning for SPY -8% day is that so hard?
[+5] u/natalie_merchant_fan: 1. It doesn't offer direct exposure to oil price. It's made up of energy companies with indirect exposure to oil price. Lots of factors have an effect such as the overall equity market.
2. WTI is up on a short squeeze more than fundamentals. Not much changed fundamentally since yesterday.
[+5] u/type_error: Wow TIL Cuba has oil
[+5] u/ShortNeat4: Novo and hims decided to sell their weight loss drug together.
[+23] u/Harp-Note: This sub ruined me. I can't see "regarded" as a normal word anymore.
[+22] u/swampassOG: This thread is the same 627 people circle jerking
[+22] u/nyse25: you come in MY house, suck MY dick and call ME gay???
[+20] u/perceptive_AI: I feel like this scam economy is about to end
[+19] u/No_Assistance5652: Got Banned by reddit for talking shit about HolyLand^TM. “Hate speech”. Lmao
[+19] u/HistoricalComeBack: Can we send Karoline to Iran ?
Blonde fatty annoying as fuck …
[+18] u/Kitchen-Hovercraft-8: Everyone is distracted at the gazebo so I can finish shitting in the hot tub
[+18] u/OrdinaryMix4013: r/conservatives are coming over to our chat and downvoting us lmao. bet they love paying high gas prices.
[+17] u/swampassOG: I'll never be a top 1% comment guy 😒
[+17] u/Disconn3cted: I was in a crazy car accident involving a Toyota Corolla going 90 mph on the interstate. That car was split in half by the median, and I walked away uninjured. God saved my life so I could shit post here.
[+16] u/TheBooneyBunes: At this point the play is to estimate the end of the Iran conflict and likely the market rallies on news of peace
[+16] u/BaxterrStockman: How could Obama and the woke mob *do* this?
[+16] u/CD274: Never get involved in a land war in Asia
[+16] u/MuricanWisecrack: Saudi Arabia has stepped up direct engagement with Iran to try and contain a war in the Middle East that is causing havoc and [stressing global markets](https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2026-03-06/traders-warn-100-oil-is-imminent-if-iran-war-keeps-raging), according to several European officials.
In recent days, Saudi officials have deployed their diplomatic backchannel to Iran with greater urgency to de-escalate tensions and prevent the conflict from worsening, the officials said, asking not to be named discussing private and sensitive conversations. Several European and Middle Eastern nations are backing these efforts, according to these officials.
\-----
Seriously, why even start this? Its a week in and everyone is bleeding from their ass and eyes.
This is an economic catastrophe that gets exponential worse everyday the Strait is closed.
[+15] u/Overall-Fold-9720: "The line" went from full scale miles long project, to reduced scope, to canceled in less than 2 years. While investors money is gone
🥭 *taking notes aggressively*
[+15] u/Possible-Material693: This girl just said to her mom at Walmart “look baby oil is only $5 no wonder diddy had so much”
[+15] u/2CommaNoob: Two weeks ago I became an expert in AI and silver. Last week, it was middle east crisis and oil. This weekend, I'll become an expert in missiles and interceptor math and cost analysis.
[+15] u/PositiveToe2761: Everybody worried about oil and iren when the looming problem is private credit. God if we see the BofA US High yield index option adjusted spread hit between 4 to 5 in this delicate market? Forget about it the spy is going to completely red dick to 600. A lot of these private equity loans were issued in 2020-2022 when rates were close to 0. If refinancing happens at 8-12% these firms won’t be able to roll debt. The defaults in pe would be a complete disaster. Only good thing is the market is small enough to probably absorb losses. But if that happens while oil is spiked and fed can’t cut rates. Yikes
[+14] u/DarkR124: Getting $1100 back from taxes. Guess who’s got $1100 to gamble on Monday chat?
[+14] u/n1ck90z: Prices at the gas station update faster than my broker data when it's upwards
[+14] u/unhappyreach_: googles auto type is so stupid, when I try to type "blackrock" it auto-corrects to "big black cock" almost every time
puts on google
[+14] u/LongHealth: World is so fucked I don’t even know anymore.
[+14] u/Able_Durian_1832: Open the freaking casino
[+14] u/stupidber: Generate passive income by training crows to find and retrieve dropped cash
[+13] u/throwawayainteasy: Listen, I know things are looking bad for everyone's investments and the economy and global stability and democracy and all that are trashed right now, but those ~7 trans D-1 college athletes might not find any school willing to let them compete next school year and you just can't put a price on that.
[+13] u/kalakesri: going to get ☢️ed before my puts print 🫡
[+13] u/B2BContinuum: My gf is like the private equity, she doesn't like me doing early withdrawals
[+13] u/ConsiderationKey1658: still diamond handing my Blockbuster stock
[+13] u/SilentExtinction: holy fuck guys I just woke up I had a crazy nightmare in which this fucking doofus Kash Patel was running the fbi. what a blessing to wake up in the normal world.
[+13] u/big_chestnut: I love holding through 80% drawdown just to exit at +0.9%.
[+13] u/bigmeatbag: Donnie this morning really sounds like a delusional beta cuck trying to act tough when he knows he fucked up going into Iran just like Putin going into Ukraine but now Putin and Xi get to arm the defender and turn it into a US soldier meat grinder and money pit . That truth shows this is going to be a decade long cluster fuck just like before. The market is going to continue to shit the bed.
[+13] u/arbitraryBlue: God damn bro, gas went up 50¢ within a day at my gas station
[+13] u/BrandonLeeOfficial: been enjoying illegally downloaded music all night.
[+13] u/Ok_Dish1650: Modern F1 fucking sucks. You should be able to short those fkers
[+13] u/Overall-Fold-9720: >Iran, which is being beat to HELL, has apologized and surrendered
>“THE LOSER OF THE MIDDLE EAST,” and will be for many decades until they surrender or, more likely, completely collapse!
In the same tweet is crazy, dementia is scary
[+12] u/Sick0h: AI companies
Omg they are spending too much, sell em.
Omg they aren’t spending as much, sell em.
[+12] u/Neel_Crashkari: Pissin on my neighbor's gazebo rn
[+12] u/ShadyPotatoTrader: I’m 37, this y’all’s first time in a bear market?
[+12] u/SlyCooper007: Holding USO right now is like holding a loaded hand grenade. Any second the straight reopens in any way and the price automatically plunges 30%. The loss porn will be epic.
[+12] u/Ok_Battle5814: BANK RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!
[+12] u/2keyed: I saw an old flame at a party last week and she said she wanted to come over and see my new place. Hit her up today, ghosted 👻
[+12] u/SquirtleStomp: Who up monitoring their situation 🫦🫦🫦
[+12] u/Overall-Fold-9720: >GOOGLE, MICROSOFT, META, AMAZON AND SEVERAL ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE COMPANIES SIGNED A PLEDGE AT THE WHITE HOUSE TO BEAR THE COST OF NEW ELECTRICITY GENERATION TO POWER THEIR DATA CENTERS
"Companies pledge billions they don't have, to build a non planned electric grid, for data centers not financed yet, running on models from fundraising startups"
That will go well
[+12] u/LostandConfused2024: Am i tripping or are the fucking comments in here more braindead than usual
[+12] u/Vextrik: no more late night drives fuck these prices
[+12] u/Haikoe: You have to be pretty fucking deranged to be this old and becoming president, then starting wars and deporting people to cover up your pedo habits.
There are people cheering this asswipe on.
[+12] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: This doesn’t end well for the US
[+12] u/SquirtleStomp: Bold of you to assume we'll have elections in 2 years
[+11] u/Quick1711: Wsb is like the crazy ex who had great pussy but there was a chance of getting stabbed
[+11] u/teh_herper: I got into options to feel something, but I still feel numb inside. What do?
[+11] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: What if this admin blew the 166 billion collected in tariffs on 0dtes and now can't refund everybody?
[+11] u/stupidber: Holy shit you guys, black church is wild
[+11] u/perceptive_AI: >U.S. TREASURY SECRETARY SCOTT BESSENT: WE WILL CARRY OUT THE LARGEST BOMBING CAMPAIGN ON IRAN TONIGHT.
Calls on Reze (Bomb Devil)
[+11] u/bleeeeghh: Iran would surrender to America but the problem is they hate Israel. I'm afraid the Iran regime would rather die and burn everything they can than surrender to Israel.
[+11] u/housemoneyrocketship: Pretty sure I’m about to be replaced by AI on Monday
[+11] u/plzplzplztendies: Bruh, I just deep fried 2 hot pocket shits fire.
[+11] u/BenisSpaghetti: Fuck dude. Looks like someone pissed on my gazebo last night.
[+11] u/Illustrious_Job1951: Im taking the day off work when gta 6 comes out
[+11] u/MuricanWisecrack: i kind of have the unwell feeling that USA is over-extending its imperialism big time.
You start things that even the US Army cannot win.
The economic fallout of this -- you may not feel it as strong in the USA, but here in Europe all hell breaks lose. We have +30% fuel prices already. Cyprus will likely cease its military base, because of the attacks from Iran.
Absolutely nobody needed this war other than Bibi Netanjahu.
And more importantly: i dont think there is a realistic chance to win it.
Iranian regime will not be changed from bombing. you can continue like this for 5 years - it will not change the reality on the ground.
It does not work like that and never did. Regime are not changed by bombing alone.
E.g. the Milosevice Regime in Serbia was not changed by bombings - it was changed by the various Ground forces and militias that seperated from Serbia, ofcourse. Air is always only support.
[+10] u/nyse25: wtf someone just pissed in my balcony
[+10] u/NVDAismyg0d: Elon is going to pivot to Optimus moon attack soldiers and my Tesla puts will go -99% as usual
[+10] u/beerstearns: Been a few years since I last checked how old Morgan Freeman is. He’s 88 btw.
[+10] u/ConsiderationKey1658: Full port Tuah Coin until this all blows over
[+10] u/barelyreadsenglish: Tesla is set to unveil its third-generation (Gen 3) Optimus humanoid robot in the first quarter of 2026, with mass production scheduled to begin before the end of 2026. The company aims to produce one million units annually at its Fremont factory.
Guaranteed another missed deadline from the king of delays. 400 pe on vaporware
[+10] u/Free-Shopping4535: Suck my dick I was poor but I knew that trump would attack and invested into oil in early february. 5000 knvested and now 1300% up
[+10] u/Peppertheredfox: Of course GAYMF is a Canadian ticker LMAO 🤌
[+10] u/Illustrious_Job1951: "Oil? Bitch you cooking?"
[+10] u/glazedds: taco tuesday is back on the menu baby
[+10] u/OwnHat8882: someone explain to me how rich i'd be if i went long on oil futes last week
[+10] u/BenisSpaghetti: Let's face it. If you weren't in the Epstein files, you weren't grinding hard enough. 🤷
[+10] u/Overall-Fold-9720: Saudis shitting themselves so much, they officially canceled "the line" LMAO
[+10] u/kal14144: We forever over a debt of gratitude to Iran for getting the most annoying influencers in the world to stfu for a few minutes
[+10] u/Ill-Ad1603: I hope calls on oil for your sake
[+9] u/dopeadult: i miss good ol sleepy j
those were the days
[+9] u/Glock7enteen: My card just declined while buying a homeless dude a McChicken
[+9] u/Competitive_Ride: I think he’s only attacking countries with hot girls. Venezuela, Cuba, Iran 🤔
[+9] u/TheWokenessInjector: Why did that ugly ass mf have to miss.
[+9] u/ShadyPotatoTrader: He wants oil to go up to fuck China and the world economy cause we got Venezuela. There is no taco coming.
[+9] u/PapiGoneGamer: Watching these three weirdos watch each other and one of them is pissing on my buddy’s gazebo. The fuck is wrong with people these days?
[+9] u/IllBuyYourCar: Never in my life would I think these retards on both sides would start hitting international airports
Give me a break
[+9] u/barelyreadsenglish: The license was issued after U.S. Interior Secretary Doug Burgum met in Venezuela with acting President Delcy Rodríguez this week, as well as with representatives of more than two dozen U.S. mining and minerals companies. Many of them previously operated in Venezuela.
So american oil companies said fuck no to investing in Venezuela and Trump went for the next biggest stooge and found some mining companies willing to get their equipment nationalized in 3 years after trumps term ends?
[+9] u/All_FIREdUp: I get a fucking thrill when the markets are imploding tbh. Keep this shit coming
[+9] u/Slightlybadpicks: All my buddies are getting fatter after their marriages! 😭😭 this shit is scary.
[+9] u/Coogiez: Can we just get back to ATH
[+9] u/Sick0h: The push for quantum is to determine optimal spend for AI capex. It must be both too much and too little simultaneously or else we drop.
[+9] u/Idiottrader420: I am holding calls for Monday, 1400$ worth, am I fucked.
[+9] u/NewLifeInAfghanistan: Thinking black Monday tbh
[+9] u/platinumarks: I took the day off from trading options and my brain is a lot clearer now. It's amazing how all of the fast-paced trading can wear you down mentally.
[+9] u/ajibtunes: Ugh I can’t wait for my wife to fall sleep so I can jerk off
[+9] u/xsystxsyst: Irans new President Seems chill.
Monday Green 100%
[+9] u/spellbadgrammargood: >BlackRock limits withdrawals from private credit fund after surge in redemption requests
Nothing more bullish than hoarding cash underneath your bed
[+9] u/kal14144: Administration got busy with Iran war that they forgot to cook the job numbers. Priorities people
[+9] u/orsomeshitidk: market like ‘oh fuck he really actually means *war* war’
[+9] u/DrSenorChuckles: Some major funds have begun shrinking their withdrawals limits from last quarter. I got an email saying my fund dropped from 520 mil to 385 mil this coming quarter staring April 1
[+9] u/Delulu_Maximus: Believe it or not, hysa
[+9] u/hv876: I could have made money today. But I did not.
[+9] u/SquirtleStomp: How does BABA still have a buy recommendation?
[+9] u/PositiveToe2761: Yo yo yo does anyone want to buy my carwash and hvac company that’s on 12x leveraged NAV loans. I know its valuation might be down right now but I can promise you we have made serious increases in valuation since acquisition. We fired staff, increased costs, and are ready to circle jerk sell it to you.
[+9] u/Sick0h: Diddy played the long game with stocking up on oil reserves.
[+9] u/RepulsiveDisaster671: #Will they continue to let puts print ?
[+9] u/WatermelonRelishMan: Wake up at 5am
Drop a huge shit
Go back to bed during a light thunderstorm and look at pictures of boobs
[+9] u/ArchegosCapitalCEO: Things could get ugly Bul. I highly suggest you twerk on my peener to relieve stress
[+8] u/Overall-Fold-9720: >McDonald's CEO Accused of Spitting Out Chicken Big Mac in Another Taste Test Video
Hommie is on Wendy's payroll
[+8] u/zlordbeats: who remembers when metals **just randomly fucking mooned in january and crashed** 🤣🤣
[+8] u/Affectionate-Tax9885: Another carrier (USS George H.W. Bush) on its way to the Middle East smdh
[+8] u/Neel_Crashkari: Recording my neighbor's watching me piss on my neighbor's gazebo
Shits unhinged rn
[+8] u/Ok-Piano8789: orange retard causing two F1 races to be canceled, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
[+8] u/BenisSpaghetti: Army recruiter trying to get me to sign up.
Me: "Yeah, I don't wanna go dig trenches in the hot sun in the middle east."
Him: "But sand is so easy to dig."
[+8] u/SmurfStop: Oil surge is like the precious metal surge. Pumped so quick and could crash 40% on a moments notice
[+8] u/GreenGameboyColor: Goodnight, my handsome friends
[+8] u/DrElkSnout: Imagine thinking oil isn't going to rise with what's going on.
[+8] u/ReftLight: You guys ever accuse a redditor with hidden history of being a pedophile that lurks on teenager subreddits? Good fun.
[+8] u/givemethestars000: Ancient writings on stone from 601 BCE confirm "Iran is only weeks away from a nuclear weapon".
[+8] u/RagingBearBull: after thinking about it .... If i hated the american people, I pretty much would be doing the same thing that 🥭 is doing.
[+8] u/swampassOG: I have abnormally large nuts
[+8] u/TheRootOfMostEvil: I’ve been through every kind of market so far. I’m sure this one will be fine
[+8] u/Peppertheredfox: Just signed a contract to get my 1891 Victorian house painted today. Eggshell white with a gray trim and crimson highlights. Pretty stoked
[+8] u/ShadowMoneyLurks: Watching my neighbor watch his neighbor who is pissing on his gazebo
[+8] u/dont_downvote_SPECIL: I like to fight on the frontlines against Iran. How do I get started?
[+8] u/TruChains: Fuck I almost bought USO calls too. Thought that I was gonna get killed on IV crush on it in the morning.
[+8] u/SmurfStop: Thank you Mr President, very cool
[+8] u/Jadedtrader33: Buy Buy Buy.
Think how rich the retards that kept buying all throughout the Great Depression ended up getting.
That could be you.
It won’t take 25 years to recover cause it’s just a casino now. 🫵🤡
[+8] u/PositiveToe2761: Did I make money today? Yes. Did I make a a lot of money? No. Could I have made a lot more on oil calls and holding spy puts longer? Yes. Did I beat the voo and chill copers? Yes and I call that a successful day
[+8] u/Ok_Battle5814: The entire financial system is going to collapse. Better load up on alternatives to the USD. Corn will grow
[+8] u/D1finalboss: Porn gets me through my life
[+8] u/kalakesri: why 🌽 crashing again
[+8] u/f0xinaround: For all the younger crowd out there, do not YOLO tattoos. Tattoo removal fucking sucks.
[+8] u/kalakesri: Pete Hegseth makes BB look like a pacifist we are cooked
[+8] u/llasar17: "Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer 'extortion.' The X makes it sound cool."-- Bender
[+8] u/user365735: So Russia is giving our locations to Iran 🤔 how the heck is that even possible
[+8] u/fuck_zebster: HIms going up 40% and everyone who bought this year are still bag holders is peak stonk market .
[+8] u/Obvious-Relation3209: Actually retarded if you didnt buy oil calls over the weekend
[+8] u/AnotherDegenerateFK: I’m saving the planet by recycling
[+8] u/stupidber: I've been demoted from top 1% poster to top 1% commenter like some kind of loser cuck 😢
[+8] u/greyenlightenment: lol QQQ is only down $7 from last week and ppl already taking about ww3
[+8] u/Polysorbate800: Tom Lee says we’ve bottomed
[+8] u/MuricanWisecrack: Iran has destroyed a key $300 million radar system crucial to directing US missile defense batteries in the Gulf that risks further straining the region’s ability to counter future attacks, according to a US official.
so much winning for Mango.... \*sights from Europooria\*
[+8] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: Is Iran even the bad guy here lol? They werent even bothering anyone outside of their country.. (before we decide to drop in and say hello to their 86 year old grandpa)
[+8] u/LostandConfused2024: Couldn’t even imagine going to visit a country and mfers start dropping bombs on airports.
[+8] u/Overall-Fold-9720: "I feel like fucking up the world economy for no reason today"
Israel last week, probably
[+8] u/Peppertheredfox: US is everything we’re told Russia, china and Iran are. Need a real powerful propaganda machine to keep that going
[+8] u/AdCritical5383: #Just stopping by to say >!🫲PENIS🫱!<
[+8] u/AdCritical5383: Smol 🤏 🅿️🅿️ gang is still 🅿️🅿️ gang. 💪
[+8] u/Vextrik: donating plasma to fund my calls after this shit is all over
[+8] u/Bliqe: Last 13 months of 😴 1.4m jobs
First 13 months of 🥭 -150k
[+8] u/whodey84: Hint: Iran will just let Chinese flagged ships through
[+8] u/Dramatic-Morning-100: We hit that ATH almost four months ago. Been rangebound ever since.
[+7] u/BrandonLeeOfficial: *In the 20 years since September 11, 2001, the United States has spent more than $2 trillion on the war in Afghanistan.
That's $300 million dollars per day, every day, for two decades.*
-Forbes
**calls**
[+7] u/BenisSpaghetti: #DOW 50,000. 🤸♂️🕳️
[+7] u/Vlisa: /r/ValueInvesting is talking about buying Semis now. Time to go all cash.
[+7] u/ChampagnePapi-: i hate being a broke loser
[+7] u/eveningpoetry: Looking forward to an inspiring red Monday
[+7] u/gkdjsl: Increasingly thinking I fucked up by not going to cash today, this is going to stew in my brain all weekend
[+7] u/Ill-Ad1603: Why does every single activity I like cost like 7 million dollares?
[+7] u/Nightkill02: I sold hims today for a loss.......😮💨
[+7] u/Independent_Bag9914: I’ve been reading here for years. Am I allowed to just, like, post?
[+7] u/spellbadgrammargood: If you sleep more you can save money on food.
[+7] u/Ok_Wealth_3433: Calls on ai my mom uses it for everything
[+7] u/Yogurt_Up_My_Nose: I really want to go to the Jimmy Eat World show in NYC, but there's no fucking seats. there's no way me or my gf can stand that long at 40.
[+7] u/BenisSpaghetti: A single drone flying across hundreds of miles of sand en route to Saudi:
*Workin' on the weekend like usual*.
*Way off in the deep end like usual*.
[+7] u/Maximum-Sign-5983: Hopefully next week is better. Have a good weekend everyone. 🙏
[+7] u/Fine_Specialists: Gonna head over to Yard House for a good meal and margarita! 🍹
[+7] u/Hellmale: “ I’ m the candidate of peace.. I am peace” will be my Flair😝
[+7] u/Peppertheredfox: Bye bye rate cuts. CPI will moon on transport alone
[+7] u/Syllabub_Visual: Alan Greenspan gets a shoutout from jpow 🤯
[+7] u/unhappyreach_: I could use a few hours of AOC foots pictures right about now
[+7] u/unhappyreach_: I made an AI GF, but it's just AOC's foots
I dont concern myself with the rest of the body
[+7] u/kalakesri: if there are only ten THAAD systems why are they letting Iran cook half of them lmao
[+7] u/SmurfStop: Imagine going to war with another country for no fucking reason and fucking everyone around in doing do
[+7] u/RockasaurusRex: In my case it's more >!penis 🤏!<
[+7] u/veggieroll1up: Analysts and their price targets provide exit liquidity for early bag holders. YOU 🫵 are exit liquidity.
[+7] u/BrandonLeeOfficial: that late cappuccino was a mistake. gonna be up when there’s nothing but homersexuals on the internet.
[+7] u/Realistic_Wrap_9767: Gap up on Monday to 680 or I’m homeless
[+7] u/Dangerous_Time_1450: Now all we need is 🥭 to tweet monday and we shall 🚀 to 700
[+7] u/gen_x_og_0DTE: be sure to put it into spy 0dte calls....
[+7] u/GuyFaulks77: Monday calls are so crazy it just might work
[+7] u/Sick0h: Rumors are spreading that Barron may be the pick for Supreme Leader
[+7] u/QuantrixQuintrix: Bro. Fuck Robinhood prediction markets.
You wouldn’t believe the amount of contracts I just accidentally bought by accident.
You also wouldn’t believe my heart rate when I saw the fill.
And now you won’t believe that I panic closed them for a big loss but had I held it 2 minutes it would have paid out a 7x.
This is absolutely a simulation and my guy fuckkinngggggg succckkkssss at it
[+7] u/Full_Boysenberry_198: It’s almost like casinos are rigged
[+7] u/Xelonima: It's the same president. The "Supreme Leader" is, well, their supreme leader, not the president.
[+7] u/HairlessChest: GRAPHICS CARDS IN SPACE
[+7] u/photosynthescythe: Sold all my positions out open bc that job report scared the hell outta me. Everything on the news does these days.
Went on a hike and got lost in the mountains for 6 hours. Couldn’t find my way back for 4 and thought I might die. Still have cactus needle fragments in my hands and the ugliest sunburn you’ve ever seen.
Somehow that was a blessing compared to if I’d held and watched the market
[+7] u/Neel_Crashkari: ^(High af rn. Trying not to make eye contact)
[+7] u/Throwaway18987987: Found the eurorich FIFA executive
[+7] u/zestykite: if you full port every play. even if you have 90% success rate. you will blow up your account eventually
[+7] u/MusingsAndMind: Zen of the Stoic Investor:
When losses are met, I feel nothing.
When gains are met, I would not know as I have never encountered them, therefore it is of no concern.
Zen, emotional control.
[+7] u/Purple_String_7169: Only for the same sentence he talks about it’s Cuba time
[+6] u/Queasy_Soil9646: Go to a stock specific subreddit and ask : “Hey what do you think about the company’s announcement …”
Rando with a boner in hand : “My cost basis is $1.2”
[+6] u/OrdinaryMix4013: dame media is straight up hiding the bombing of the children school in iran. fucking travesty. 100% war crimes.
[+6] u/Radiant_Yesterday_51: Looks like Dubai Intl Airport just got hit smh
[+6] u/Unlikely_Proof_7772: I’m addicted to this sub again
[+6] u/AfraidAnalyst: Just for shits and giggles. What are your moves
[+6] u/borat_he_like_you: I just saw someone piss on their neighbor's balcony
[+6] u/IndependentUsual7444: Probably increasing the intensity of the attacks over the weekend. If it doesn't go well oil will cruise through 100 and SPY will hit 650
[+6] u/Sick0h: This level of chop is like once a decade or less type shit
[+6] u/BrandonLeeOfficial: [China may be preparing to provide Iran with support, according to multiple people familiar with US intelligence on this issue](https://understandingwar.org/research/middle-east/iran-update-evening-special-report-march-6-2026/)
Lesssss gooooo
[+6] u/wattap: Iran no longer attacking other countries (if it happens) is bearish for oil
[+6] u/Ok_Wealth_3433: I went from not even being able to bench 135 2 months ago to now repping it for 12. It’s actually insane how much you can change in such a little amount of time. Now to make that kinda progress on my mind…
[+6] u/LostandConfused2024: Damn, just switched out of my insurance with state farm and I’m saving like $130 a month now
[+6] u/Peppertheredfox: Your functional alcoholism and recreational use of weed, shrooms and coke is far better than whatever US pharma wants to feed you.
[+6] u/PapiGoneGamer: Wanted to buy calls but that premium is iffy to me
[+6] u/Only-Cranberry-4502: Bro we finally started having less gas prices and I saw 5.09 per gallon today
[+6] u/OwnHat8882: who got the highest net worth in here go. me: -38K
[+6] u/ConsiderationKey1658: #🍑☀️
Sun your b hole for unlimited energy
[+6] u/systerix: soo how do we short private credit?
[+6] u/TheBurningTitan: I think people didnt give a f about this war that much but you will realize how serious its gonna get
Normally things calmed down just before it hit the fan, this time, what happens if it does not calm down?
[+6] u/pootenanner: Bols should go back and look at the stock market when feds cut rates in response to a softening labor market. L-M-A-O
[+6] u/ShadowMoneyLurks: My neighbors are pissed off and pissed on
[+6] u/yayahi: Eyyyoooo wtf happened today that oil did a cum rocket?? Didn’t Iran run out of missiles?
[+6] u/llasar17: "Brannigan’s Law is like Brannigan’s love: hard and fast."- Zapp Brannigan
[+6] u/lolb00bz_69: i blew a disc in my forearm jacking it the other night the clicking wont go away
[+6] u/663691: If the special combat operation continues it would be great for TSLA but unfortunately from what I’ve heard over the last year they’re no longer a car company
[+6] u/nyse25: my fleshlight has seen better days
[+6] u/LostandConfused2024: Hot damn, I looked at gas prices and yall are fucked.
[+6] u/bluen: Imagine swiping a notification just to get more notifications about that notification
[+6] u/Vextrik: miss the old days where this sub was going crazy duirng meme stock era in 21-22’
[+6] u/Just_Function_7040: Seems most people are yet to understand the main reason mango is distracting with these wars and capture of foreign leaders: Epstain files and bad economy
[+6] u/Maximum-Magazine-333: So who’s that new Iran president is he cool? Seemed funny he pulled up and said my bad for bombing everybody
[+6] u/Disconn3cted: We're gonna leave without saying anything and the fight will continue. It'll be hilarious
[+6] u/Bodie_Broadus_: HIMS bout to squeeze to $30 Monday.
[+6] u/DuAbUiSai: Open the goddamn casino! 😤
[+6] u/Interesting-Bite-468: What just happenned to Micron in just 45 minutes.. is unspeakable...
[+6] u/existing_for_fun: well I did stay at a holiday in express last night.
[+6] u/Retaining-Wall: So what are we thinking? Boots on the ground in the wee hours of Sunday morning? That's when he usually does unpopular shit.
[+6] u/throwawaydonaldinho: Are you even a bear if you dont watch The Big Short once week while eating instant ramen because your puts got V’d at mach fuck?
[+6] u/All_FIREdUp: Private Equity is about play “hide the peepee” with us in the closet aren’t they 😞
[+6] u/Slightlybadpicks: HIMS 22 strike calls will be 6600% at open holy fuck…. Which lucky bastard bought these?
[+6] u/veggieroll1up: Reality is setting in for some of you and it shows.
[+6] u/Little_Top3815: “I thought this was bottom”
This will be headline on my book writen as homeless
“I should held my puts a bit longer”
This will be at the end of the book
[+6] u/Christiano97: Never been so happy to be out of all the puts I’ve been selling and taking a weekend to chills
[+6] u/llasar17: we get it.... you have no balls
[+6] u/resi5: We’re about to find out if the aliens that live underground are real or n, lets goooo
[+6] u/Ok-Standard-2485: When the war is over I might take the family on a vacation to the Middle East. Probably will be very affordable. Probably get 1000 a night room for 30 bucks
[+6] u/Neel_Crashkari: *[Redacted by Lex Fridman]*
[+6] u/thetalljs: What is it good for, absolutely nothing,
options, huu, good gawlyawl.
[+6] u/Juddy-: You can’t just edge us like that. What’s your date idea?
[+6] u/AusConsoleGamesLFG: There is literally one cause of all of our problems and you all know what I'm referring to, and we all do nothing about it
SAD
[+6] u/Several_Bread_9144: So many bols talking about buying the "dip". LMAO we are 2% off ath with all these losers talking about a dip we still have a long way to go
[+6] u/octopus_serenader: Short musical interlude in the middle. It's all dope.
[+6] u/TruChains: So market says they made a fucky wucky on HIMS valuation and we climb 40%? Very cool
[+6] u/strip_club_dj: Excited for the new season of For All Mankind. Great show but very depressing at times given the state of things currently.
[+6] u/Ok-Piano8789: lots of red flag larp shit in that book, better off reading a true risk management book without all the gay shit
[+5] u/OrdinaryMix4013: i cant be drafted to the Iran US war. i have foot spurs and taco knows all about it.
[+5] u/Specialist_Exam_8433: DJT and Sam Altman are taking turns dumping the market
[+5] u/TimujinTheTrader: Guess its going to be a weekend of Private Credit experts here.
[+5] u/borat_he_like_you: Hey babe, she's sleeping now. You can come over.
[+5] u/Solid-Season9984: #Every put buyer thinks they're a genius in a ber market
[+5] u/This_Possible_3942: Oil to $200
"Saudi Arabia has intercepted six drones on their way to an oil field and a ballistic missile headed to an air base, the country's Ministry of Defence spokesperson says on X"
[+5] u/whomakesthetendies: No lol.
$200 when they run out of interceptors.
[+5] u/pussinbuuts: Regards today: Wtf war is raging oil spiking but spy is not dumping
Bloomberg: I gotchu fam
[+5] u/brute-forced: Met some germaphobes.. went to some friends house which is a mini-mansion and granted we are dressed nice from dinner out and my wife put her purse on the couch. The wife whose house we were at was like “im sorry i know this is weird but can you hang your purse over there because purses have germs on them.” Haven’t dealt with such pussies in a while although we did have a great night otherwise
[+5] u/Peppertheredfox: Neighbor lady loves to sit naked under the gazebo. My wife doesn’t like it but I’m on the fence
[+5] u/fuck_zebster: 80 year old's flocking into pawn shops selling the gold they got for 40 $ getting their final squeeze out of the system .
[+5] u/Speedygi: I shorted Shake shack , how cooked am I ?
[+5] u/Queasy_Soil9646: Oracle will pump due to layoffs?
[+5] u/ConsiderationKey1658: I wish I was full port regular bank account
[+5] u/ammm72: Oil gonna keep going up after the weekend?
[+5] u/Peppertheredfox: Elon needs to get the deal artist on a plane to New Mexico, show him around and convince him that we’ve pacified Persia
[+5] u/thetalljs: Hurry up with those sex bots, sometime before the world ends would be nice
[+5] u/SmurfStop: Open the god damn casino, i don't feel alive unless my heart rate is 120
[+5] u/Longjumping_Steak724: Where the fuk is the dow now?
[+5] u/housemoneyrocketship: My depression has worsen.
[+5] u/katrav86: why is 38% of USO float shorted? yes I get the hedging behind this but that number seems too high.
[+5] u/ConsiderationKey1658: If this keeps up I’m not gonna get that Pontiac Aztek I’ve been dreaming of 😔
[+5] u/smileydog511: Hear me out, May puts on oil futures at $69 😏 trump tacos in next 2 weeks
[+5] u/zestykite: buying uso calls monday would have printed so much. in hindsight that was the obvious play. im still confused about tankers tho.
[+5] u/WendyDumpsterFire: Can we go back to 2019-2020 bull rally
[+5] u/softboiledjadepotato: Winter is coming Jon Bull...
[+5] u/BrandonLeeOfficial: late night cappuccino and corruption. Lesssss gooooo
#🌏👩🚀🔫🎅🏿
[+5] u/whagon-wheel: It’s probably u/skarfbeaulonee
[+5] u/Outrageous_Ninja8405: So is the Oracle and OpenAI data centre thingy really something to be worried about on Mon/next week or just fud? Itsucked the energy out of semis quite badly yesterday.
[+5] u/Disconn3cted: 4 inches is perfect for stimulating my tonsils!
[+5] u/CMDR_Shepard96: https://preview.redd.it/i0ruhrsmying1.jpeg?width=1439&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1feb1adb028e367b2743f66111ad184797714b5f
How's your 2026 going? 90k-22k in less than 2 months over here.
Full disclosure I just added 10k to the account to buy some long expiry bull spreads in a desperate attempt to buy the debt and not lose the rest of my monies.
[+5] u/cantcatchafish: Holding hims calls is a nice touch to my weekend!
[+5] u/BenisSpaghetti: All the ladies go crazy for u/EnginrA.
[+5] u/BenisSpaghetti: Storm came through and took my gazebo away. 😢
[+5] u/Rick_12345: 35 years ago, we had to wait for a newspaper to get the prior day's closing stock prices
[+5] u/NiceJobSon: My doctor is so cute and smart, wears oversized glasses and uses big words. I have a huge crush on her, please don’t tell anybody.
[+5] u/Sweaty_Platypus69: Crammer said. “When oil goes up, stocks go down. Period. End of story.
While stating the obvious.. y'all can start inversing him. Stocks will rocket next week and oil will come down.
[+5] u/Send_Lawyers: USA just laid a pain on Brazil in the 9th. That was rude
[+5] u/Squamsk: Why do I have calls over the weekend. Ehh
[+5] u/Life-Industry-1131: Oil could drop everyone longed it today, then it’ll pump later on next week
[+5] u/llasar17: "You can't just have your characters announce how they feel! That makes me feel angry!"-- Robot Devil
[+5] u/Peppertheredfox: Had some divvy cash and bought Bull shares today because my Roth positions weren’t nearly retarded enough
[+5] u/NaiveMercury: QQQ flat for 6 months with 2 insane growth quarters is concerning
[+5] u/GoogleKushforLunch: I’d be shocked if spy don’t open in the 660s
[+5] u/Free-Shopping4535: Option prices fucking sucks the premiums are fucking awful
[+5] u/spudbro00: I probably just bought the top of hims in after hours like a fomo regard. 4000 shares at 22 lol
[+5] u/Bladee___Enthusiast: What the fuck happened to HIMS
[+5] u/pootenanner: Bols get yippy and mean when their calls go to zero lmao lots of panicans in here.
[+5] u/Vextrik: no need to overthink it USO to $150 next week
[+5] u/whagon-wheel: Beefing up the rainwater collection system today
[+5] u/LostandConfused2024: North Korea is joining the war? Fuck are they even doing
[+5] u/spellbadgrammargood: I'm not made for work, I should be reincarnated as a turtle or something
[+5] u/Xzlk: If you ask your favorite AI tool why SNDK is up it’ll basically tell you, cause people are regarded and should be buying MU.
[+5] u/TheEagleDied: You guys really think things will rebound after market makers finally capitulate and we break through support? What do you think they were trying to stop?
[+5] u/bigmeatbag: Donnie watched Epstein fuck his daughter and got jealous, that's why they had a falling out.
[+22] u/Street-Badger: Be a photon, created anew by the coupling mommy and daddy hydrogen. Spend 200,000 years being absorbed and re-emitted in the heart of a star before finally earning your freedom. Fly through the void for the next eight or so minutes before bonking into a leaf. Be a bond in cellulose for a while. Get buried underground, slowly turn into hexadecane or whatever. Stay there for a fifth of a billion years. Get sucked out through a drinking straw and put in the hold of a ship while some plebs kill each other over you. Get burned so a fat American can drive to Costco for a hot dog. Be infrared for the next trillion trillion years. It was not worthwhile.
[+17] u/2Hosslovescash: I prefer gas at $10 a gallon for way less traffic.
[+16] u/powerboner: Gonna go on a 10 mile hike and hope I “accidentally” slip and disappear.
Oh nooo, no more 8-5 to give 40% of my income to pedos.
[+16] u/Daveonaltair4: I had a funny business idea the last time I was driving through the various midwest and western cities along I-90, something I do a few times a year to visit back home. I noticed there lots of meat-centric chain-like steak houses. These cities seem to love this kind of thing. My idea is to get an investment group together and start a Texas roadhouse knock off but only cheaper for the consumer (and shittier) and call it "SIX BROTHERS MEAT AND ALE COMPANY". There are no six brothers of course but the inside will that dumb farmhouse chic look with big AI generated photos of the six brothers all over the place, photos of them working the land, fighting in Vietnam, rustling cattle, racing motorcycles, etc. I just think people would eat that shit up, literally. I can just about see an oil sands worker who makes 250k a year texting his woman on a Friday, "Hey babe, Casey said him and Taylin are goin to 6 brothers, u wanna go?" Place would make a killing at least for a few years.
[+15] u/Antique_Cabinet8416: you can tell he knows he's gonna die soon and he's itching to drop a nuke before he does like a make-a-wish kid
[+15] u/burrowed_greentext: STOP 🛑
DRINK A GLASS OF WATER 🌊
CONTINUE 🟢
[+14] u/Educational_Wall3926: US strikes desalination plant used for rural villages thus proving that we are there to liberate the villagers just like in Vietnam.
[+13] u/Mr_Worst_Timing: My company is working on an Ai system to automatically submit orders and the customer service reps are all excited because their jobs are gonna be easier. I didn’t wanna break their hearts and tell them.
[+13] u/thefrozen_one: Im gonna cash out my 401k and Yolo it all on 0DTE puts on Monday
[+12] u/WombatShwambat: Elmo really just does a line of ketamine and writes whatever he hallucinates first as his x post for the day
[+12] u/UsernameTaken_123: Iran foreign minister referring to 🥭 as the "epstein regime" lmao
[+12] u/Independent-Egg9086: Dead ass, vix is at 30 and everyone and their mom is a bear rnn reversal will be hard and swift this week.
[+12] u/Berto_: Google up 75% on the 1 year and this retard still losing money on it.
[+11] u/EthanRio: https://preview.redd.it/zdj54t5frmng1.jpeg?width=1178&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2684d3a9e36973f9b3a3d4db854f536972a20d06
But tensions aren’t rising… calls aren’t printing lmao
[+11] u/UsernameTaken_123: Just woke up, did we win the 3 day special military operation yet?
[+11] u/ZealousidealSector19: Wait , the 🥭 man was actually in the Epstein files. All the flurry of distractions now makes sense
[+10] u/livingunique: [](https://www.bloomberg.com/markets?source=eyebrow)Kuwait Cuts Oil and Refining Output as Hormuz Stays Blocked - Bloomberg
[+10] u/wutangthermos: I'll lick my testicles if we are not green on Monday
[+10] u/throwingitanyway: Do you ever think about how current events are descended directly from a bunch of retards that couldn't punch a hole in a ballot card correctly 25 years ago?
[+10] u/Extreme-District8213: The global elite are giving me the “ick”
[+10] u/KanonBalls: Straight of Hormuz still closed. :)
[+10] u/floppy_panoos: TurboTax needs to add “FUUUCK NO!” as a response option when they ask if you’re interested in the Trump Account.
[+10] u/dayvieee: Just realized I haven’t gotten one spam call since the strike on Iran, that’s a real win
[+10] u/fatmummy222: Listen up boys, here’s another weekly sex ed lecture:
Do not. I repeat. Do NOT ever date a fat chick!
That is all.
Thank you.
[+10] u/ModeForJoe: Journalist: "What's your response to Russia helping Iran target our military? What if most kurds rebuff us arming them?"
Trump: "What a stupid question, we're talking about curtains over here!"
[+9] u/shakazuluwithanoodle: first side to apologize in a war loses
[+9] u/sloanemonroe: Do you understand how BAT SHIT crazy this is!!! He constantly talks about ending wars which he didn’t do but then he actually STARTS one and his followers are just like, “cool.”
[+9] u/goofy-boots: I did lots of blow last night and I do not feel well
[+9] u/LiamPhlegmsworth: Got the windows cracked and a nice cross-breeze going. Air smells great because it rained earlier. Pretty stellar Saturday
[+9] u/Th4tR4nd0mGuy: My local petrol station ran out of fuel yesterday (in the UK), while I am balls deep in 3x oil ETFs.
Either I’ll be rich and stuck at home or poor and back at work.
[+9] u/EmergencyInternal837: The straight of hummus
[+9] u/aegiroth: when i'm down money i feel like women can just smell it on me
[+9] u/Sudden-Smoke-8377: time to get a gf so she can pay all my bills
[+9] u/Weak-Equal-9084: So SPY ATH next week?
[+9] u/nasdaqslut: Bunch of yall started trading last year and it shows
[+8] u/whyshw: Breaking news: I might get involved in shorting oil like a true regard
[+8] u/Long_Youth_893: iran backed hamaz which attached isreal in so isreal attacked gaza then launched strikes against iran so iran launched strikes against isreal & bahrain & qatar & saudi arabia & uae & kuwait & jordan & oman & iraq & azerbaijan and houthis are attacking yemen and hezbollar are attacking isreal from lebanon so isreal are attacking lebanon and iraq might invade iran and neighbouring iran is afghanistan who is getting attacked by pakistan?
[+8] u/Country_Gravy420: Iran surrendered to all Middle East countries! 🥭 asking for surrender.
SPY 700 Monday
[+8] u/disrepaired: A lot of of you guys never beat off with conditioner at 14 and it shows
[+8] u/hallett21: How coked up is Cramer right now.
[+8] u/No-Sympathy-686: Thread is dead just like the market.
[+8] u/OGWFORLIFE: Anyone who believes in shitcoin is actually so stupid. Worst investment possible. Doesn’t even function the way people claim it should. “Hedge against inflation” 😂
[+8] u/Gristle__McThornbody: I asked the lady at Kohl's if she had the New Balance shoes in size Mens 8 and she laughed in my face. That was fuekd up why did she do that?
Edit: Disregard this my dog hacked into my computer and posted this.
[+8] u/gainsusmaximus: Invest in illiquid minimally tracked markets, surprised when you can't withdraw *surprised Pikachu*
[+8] u/texashempsters: I thought war was bullish?!?
[+8] u/JakeSal10: My biggest pet peeve is taking my adderall to study and then ending up 4 beers deep
[+8] u/cbusoh66: U.S. hitting oil refineries and water distilleries in Iran
Alex Karp: I did that 😎
[+7] u/VenomBite214: Talked to few boomers and they are still in denial about the state of economy and job market in particular.
They still think you just finish a college, walk to a nearest shop in a clean shirt, shake the bosses hand hard looking into eyes, say "yes boss" few times and get hired while driving back from the interview.
Then you just buy a house, make 2 kids, show up on time at work, and drive your station wagon full of kids to Florida every year.
It's even more funny that their grand kids cannot afford a college on a waiter salary and can't get a job even at Target
[+7] u/Sudden-Smoke-8377: i kind feel Dubai will become more afforable